#the way trigger has shown death and violence. i am so into it

[seafleece]

HEARTLESS.

[ihaveforgortoomany]

Talking about *that* scene in 2.1 and more predictions on the 2.2 storyline (or are we seeing a pattern forming?)

Major Spoilers 1.9 here (Idk to post about Global right now, maybe more crack headcanons?)

Rambling and theorising (feel free to discuss in messages I want to hear other ideas for both CN and global)

The Tuesday and Vertin scene damn. The fact that Tuesday actually gets a kick out of it also is terrifying, like the last horror patch we had Jessica, the jump between Jessica to Tuesday was crazy.

Also props to Scarlet Grace, Vertin's va here; I know Tuesday did think Vertin did not have any fear here but I don't think that was the case. As Ive said before Vertin's fear is being in a position that she is helpless to save others, a position where she promises salvation that she cannot truly grant: Issabella, the Ring and Schnieder specifically as the trigger in CH.2 that led us to see the Breakaway Incident in her dreams.

Imma pick through Vertin's line delivery here:

Initially she is frustrated by Tuesday: "stop trying to get in my way and tell me where Argus is". As along as she can focus on helping and saving others she can hide her own fears and anxieties. Realising she was using the voices of Ring and Issabella probably put her back to the Oranges scene, so she focuses on the situation at hand, Argus being in danger of sorts. Focus on the safety of others and yourself.

When Tuesday questions why Vertin is afraid of the Storm Vertin is more frustrated and almost angry (I emphasise almost): "pulverising people under the crushing wheel of time". You can hear Vertin's voice actually waver at "pulverise", she feels helpless that in the past countless others she has met before have been taken by the Storm. How many experiments? How many times has she pulled someone into the suitcase and only find their clothes where there were hands? "You should be thankful you've never seen it". Someone has mentioned before but Vertin is emotionally repressed, therefore seeing what we percieve as normal show of anger is noticeable, her agitation at Tuesday, even if Tuesday did not notice it, showed that Tuesday did pick out her fear directly, hitting a nerve almost.

"We have the umbrella now": I think partially this is Vertin overcoming her trauma slowly but not entirely. Saying this aloud almost sounds like an attempt to reaffirm herself, the umbrella WILL work, it HAS to work. Don't get me wrong, the umbrella can now protect people despite the many who didn't make it to this point... But wasn't she in a similar mindset after realising Regulus was saved by the suitcase?

(Maybe deep down she still fears the umbrella might not be enough, but regardless right now it is the best solution to the Storm)

2.1 showed that Vertin is still haunted by the fact that she could not save many, despite the great strides and the creation of the Umbrella. (Again this HAS to work, so many people had sacrificed themselves for this to work)

Now what about 2.2? I think as early as CH.1 Vertin as shown uncanny willingness throw her life away for others if it meant saving them (pushing Sonetto and Mariam away and getting captured by Manus). She is now in the best position she can find her mother now, spending so far the most of the 2.0 story looking for Urd.

However it is already clear from the 2.2 PV she is in real danger now (everyone having a holiday whilst shes literally fighting for her life is ironic). And Anjo Nala's trailer has already shown the violence this new Manus is willing to go through to meet means and ends. Plus the fact that 2.1 hints with Stephen Vertin likely has a target painted on her back with Arcana's death. Arcana never needed to resort to physical violence with Vertin, largely emotional damage but this isn't Arcana now but new members of Manus with an actual vendetta against the person they see as the murderer of their saviour.

What am I getting at? We are almost in the same position as we were in CH.1:

Resolve at the fact that we have a way to save people from the storm: the suitcase and umbrella

Meet character/s that reluctantly side with the Manus: Schnieder/ Druvis and Anjo Nala

Faced with an enemy we cannot decipher their true intentions: Arcana and the new Manus, Order of Enlightenment and Apostles Brotherhood.

And a situation again where Vertin is somehow isolated from her allies: saving Mariam and being separated by the collapsing wall vs Vertin being somehow corned by a Zeno(?) officer and strangled almost to death by Anjo Nala

The true wildcard here is Bessmert/ Martha/ Urd here. Likely I have a feeling this is only part one, similar to In Our Time.

Crazy prediction: Green Oranges scene but worse either this patch or the next mainline patch.

(Summary: props again to Vertin's va, Vertin is being put through the works, Im either delulu or are we beginning to see parallels in the beginning of the 2.0 story to the beginning of the 1.0 story?)

(there's also Zeno's place in the story, I really only speculate they might be taken over by Manus or severely damaged in the 2.0 story as a way to rise stakes by crippling a major part of the Foundation's military capability, its looking clear with 2/3 new characters being in Zeno/ or affliated with Zeno that we are gonna get more on Zeno so thats nice)

(Minecraft Schneider is nice)

[thenumberonerascal]

Meet The Rascal

hi, losers !!! scout showed me this website and said i should make an account so !! here i am !!! miss pauling says we can use this to talk to people blah blah blah something about RED team . i wasnt listening all that much . (sorry miss pauling)

(All grammatical errors, punctuation and spelling mistakes, and etc are intentional! He will get better as time goes on.)

Welcome to a TF2 ask blog! Hit the ask button to roleplay, ask, or just say hi! I'll usually answer through text, but I'll definitely post sketches sometimes!

Rules:

Don't be rude, that's Rascals job! (/j, tease them all you like- just be mindful!)

Rascal is a MINOR! Please, do not ask any weird or intimate questions!

Don't try to push me into doing a ship, sharing a headcanon, etc etc.

Now here comes the longwinded part- three whole paragraphs, if you can stand it.

DISCLAIMER!!!

This character is heavily inspired by Roy from the animated youtube series by Sr Pelo, "Spooky Month"- in fact, this character is much less 'inspired' than a direct alternate universe, where Roy grows up with the mercenaries instead. Roy's character covers some dark topics such as abuse, and in no way will it be grotesquely shown in this account- though I may vaguely hint towards it, for which there will be the #tw tag for each topic that may be triggering to some. If you feel like you may be upset at minor references to abuse, neglect, death, and violence, I will tag it correctly so you can enjoy this blog anyways, if you wish. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy this blog! (Don't worry- Roy will get his happy ending. He has a lot of people who love him. <3)

DISCLAIMER!!! is over :)

Tags:

#roleplay - Mercenaries & TF2 OCs are more than welcome! #rascal answers - The star of the show! Ask away! #mod answers - in case you have some questions for me! :) #randomtalks - want to say something that isn't a roleplay or an ask? #tw abuse mention / #tw neglect mention / #tw violence mention (*) / #tw death mention (**) * This includes violence in the games terms (Shooting, stabbing, burning, medical malpractice) ** This includes death in the games terms (Backstabs, headshots, etc- and how they can respawn after death)

#modpost - I'll use this when I need to post OOC.

Social Medias:

Twitter Bluesky

Profile picture is a commission I had done by jestersmassacre on twitter! They're a very talented artist and I hope you'll check them out <3

[thefloatingstone]

I've potentially convinced a Discord server I'm in to do a watch party of Utena. As a professional Utena enjoyer, could you give me a list of all of the TWs that Utena entails? I know about a few, but I haven't watched the entire series myself, and I'd rather they be informed about what they're stepping into. 🙏

oh oof. OK! This may spoil certain things but I also understand the concern.

First, importantly, the show is PG13 so remember that nothing I am about to list is shown GRAPHICALLY on screen. You're never going to see detailed nudity (They're all barbie dolls) or sexual acts in detail. But the situations are IN the show and although some things are told through symbolism and metaphor... a lot of it is not.

I don't want this list to make you feel you shouldn't watch it, because almost every fucked up thing in the show is treated as being as fucked up as it is and does NOT paint these things as good or cool. As well, because the show uses metaphor and symbolism a lot, (as well as being aimed at teenaged girls) these topics are never graphic or presented as violence or in a "horror" way. It treats these subject as serious and mature, not as shock value or trying to upset the audience. This isn't Midori or anything.

So this is more if people would like to avoid certain topics COMPLETELY. But if they're not super triggered by the topic itself, they should be ok to watch the show as it portrays these things carefully and with consideration.

Also all of these triggers are plot important and tied directly to the narrative, and are not just there to be there. They all impact the story in a major way.

Also reminder what the show looks like

OK! So here's the list;

Trigger warnings for

A character throws a kitten into a river where it drowns (not graphic. Just very sad)

Flashing lights

incest between siblings (not shown in a positive light)

The characters are 14 despite not looking like it. So also sexual relations between an adult and several of the underage characters (it's fucked up and presented as fucked up)

Grooming ^ (once again fucked up and presented as fucked up)

Suicide attempt

suicide ideation

Terminal illness

High school bullying between girls

the character Anthy has multiple moments in the show where she is slapped by someone including some of the male characters

emotional and mental manipulation

The show is about "Gender is a construct. Tear it apart" so there are moments of deliberate misgendering and a LOT of misogyny from some of the worse people in the show

blood free stabbing

Parental death and grief is a large plot point

And finally; Nanami turns into a cow

I think that's everything. If anyone remembers a major trigger that needs to be added let me know.

[kirnet]

🔥 :D

DING DING you are the winner of my blue submarine no 6 rant!!

For context: blue sub no 6 is a 4 part OVA from the nineties about a post apocalyptic world that was intentionally flooded by an evil scientist, leaving the vast majority of humanity dead and the rest living the best they can on the water. It kind of sucks? I am now obsessed with it. No one will know what the fuck I’m talking about.

Because there is only this OVA and an untranslated manga from 1967 that I can’t track down, another 5 part manga from the 90s that i dont think was translated either, and two untranslated video games, I am forced to scrounge the bottom of the barrel from fucking reddit for any sort of discussion. The following is my response to those overwhelmingly negative reactions.

All of the characters get criticized as shallow, which to some degree I can agree with because it is a short series (about 2 hours) with a lot of characters, but I think a lot of it is just a blatant refusal to engage with them in any meaningful way. Hayami isn’t a jaded asshole just bc his friend died, he’s a jaded asshole bc his trigger happy impulses directly led to his friend’s death! Because he’s actually a super sensitive and compassionate man as shown in the series even when he doesn’t want to be!! He’s an addict who has to self medicate to ease the pain because he cares SO MUCH. And a lot of blue sub’s characterization and world building is subtle, not a lot is really told to you. It has these beautiful moments of silence that just show you character and worldbuilding, which people hate bc I guess it confuses them? Did they pay attention?? And yes a lot of the other characters dont really get a lot of depth, but they still feel like real people in the little moments you get with them. It feels like a fleshed out world with real dynamics and real people that you were just dropped in the middle of, which many won’t like, but I think its better than spoonfeeding you every bit of information.

People also shit on the ending, which I get it is actually not an ending. It’s a very open ended end with really no conclusion. I think that fits with the uncertainty of humanity going forward in this world. There’s also a lot of criticism of the villain, who unfortunately is the the weakest part of the show when he should be the strongest, but I think a lot of this is bc of the above reasons. He’s an ecofascist who thinks that there were too many people on earth so he sped up global warming and flooded the majority of the world. Idk, maybe that hits closer to home now than it did in the 90s, but real communities are threatened by the sea and there are very real perpetrators of climate violence. His motivation is weak and kind of non existent- which is a fault of the story, but also like. what actual reason is there to justify something like this other than he was a rich powerful guy who could? Again, maybe it’s just because I’m looking at it in a very modern lens and reading too much into it (I surely am), but there’s a reason it doesn’t really bother me.

I’m gonna stop here before I explode. I dont think i can in good conscience really recommend it to anyone? but if someone does watch please tell me please

[eternally6pm]

I think I am going a little mad 

from thinking too long about how Takumi is quite possibly depressed, 

and Mikoto’s death has triggered a very severe exacerbation of it. 

His family love him, but his older sister and brother aren’t the greatest at handling someone quite so sensitive (they were never shown how, and likely subconsciously recognise it from a distance as lack of discipline, impatience, weakness)

and Sakura is his best bet at finding emotional support, but he’s her older brother - he cannot bring himself to burden her with anything. 

Contrary to what some of his dialogue would have you believe, Takumi is profoundly thoughtful - in fact, he may suffer a little from overthinking, and tends to drive himself into mental corners, self-defeating cycles of hope, denial, regret.

Meanwhile Camilla is also more than just some ridiculous armour, a sister complex and a yandere tendency. 

There is a melancholy to her that feels like a deeply embedded sort of mourning for the childhood that she was denied, 

alongside an unhealthy helping of Venting with Violence. 

I find her violent in many ways: violently affectionate, violently sensual, violently physical. 

To an extent, I think this to be a sort of mirror of Takumi’s behaviour. Both of them are brash, but while 

Takumi is deliberately alienating, Camilla is determinedly possessive. 

Takumi lashes out, while Camilla attempts to nurture, 

and both do this in response to the traumas they carry with them, but also as an attempt at absolution, and if you’re still with me somehow I have another 45 minutes of straight up stream of consciousness about how this makes them perfect for one another in their similarities and complementary ways, but also sometimes horribly toxic in their inability to cope with the extreme emotions they are saddled with but have never been given the security to properly

[littleslavediary]

8/20/2024

This is an old story I'm retroactively posting to my new tumbler blog. **Disclaimer: This story includes details about extreme domestic violence, if you are triggered by such content do not read it:**

My husband and I were sitting on the couch watching Youtube as usual. We got into some sort of argument and I started to hear a few voices in my head, especially Lilian an "imaginary" alien Dominatrix that often infiltrates my mind and commands me to do or say things.

I don't ever tell anyone about the voices I hear, but if I did I wouldn't admit how real and organic they are to me. To me this alien is a very real being telepathically communicating with me. I sat with my face in my hands on the couch.

He asked me, "What are you thinking about? What's wrong?"

For a long time I sat in dramatic silence, overwhelmed by Lilian and other voices in my head chanting insults at me, and not sure how I could possibly explain it to him. I didn't want to tell him.

Finally I blurted out, "I'm hearing voices."

I didn't expect him to become angry but he did.

"What? What do you mean?" He asked, I didn't reply.

"I don't believe you." He started, "Why haven't you mentioned it before?"

"I have told you I am Schizo. And I was on heavy medication against my will for years. I wasn't hearing the voices so I didn't mention it to you, I thought it was in the past."

"You know Schizophrenia is a a very particular thing. This sounds made up. And honestly I'm offended because I've known real Schizophrenics before and you don't know what they go through. This doesn't sound real at all."

By these statements I was perplexed and overwhelmed. He knows I have been hospitalized against my will more than ten times. He knows I was tortured (almost to death) in jail during one of my first psychotic episodes at the tender age of 22. I didn't expect him to react in disbelief. I wasn't at all prepared for this.

I asked him, "Haven't you heard about the Hearing Voices Network before? All sorts of people hear voices and--"

He interrupted me, "Why would you lie about something like this? You know it really breaks my trust. Honestly, it makes me regret marrying you. Do you want a divorce? Do you want me to drive you to the airport right now?"

"I'm not lying." I whispered, my voice meek and shaking.

Suddenly he exploded toward me on the couch, slapping me as hard as he could across the face, backwards and forwards at least six times. For the first time ever, I started to cry uncontrollably in front of him.

The strikes were so hard I heard loud ringing in my ears and my brain started to throb from bouncing against my skull so hard.

None of my tears slowed him down. He grabbed the red, burning and stinging flesh on my face. I looked into his amber brown eyes, which were filled with such rage and hostility.

"Are you going to keep lying to me?" he asked, squeezing his nails into my cheeks.

"I'm not lying," I wailed, tears and snot copiously falling down my burning skin and over his big rough hands.

He released me, "Then what do they say?"

Exhausted from the crying and panic attack I claimed it was too embarrassing to say. But they were like imaginary friends from my childhood that I couldn't get rid of.

"So they are Tulpas?" He asked, finally this mutual language from our spiritual discord server roots brought so much instant understanding to the conversation, and we talked for a while about Tulpas and calmed down.

I suppose this is one of the cultural differences between the West and the East. I am in the Middle East now and people are very different here. I am not used to being held to religious standards. The next day I woke up and remembered the interaction with fondness. It had felt good to cry that hard and his after care was good too. The voices are also less disturbing to me now and I feel better.

He has never shown remorse for responding this way and I have never expected him too. Yes, it's not perfect. It was dangerous and unpredictable, which is what I love the most about Daddy. So some people might think of this as a horror story, but to me it is just another chapter in my fairy tale.

[smoothmovesbaby]

indie rp blog for benny, from fallout: new vegas and all roads, written by grunk. 21+ only, please. anyone following under the age of 21 will be blocked.

carrd. graphics credit.

my name is grunk, pronouns are he/him, and i'm 30 years old. if you think you recognize me from around 2016 or so, yes, that was probably me.

NO MINORS. i'll block anyone under 21 who follows. it's just for my own comfort. i'll also block anyone with harry potter muses and/or verses.

i will not follow: minors, those without any kind of rules or info readily available, bigots of any kind (including but not limited to TERFs, racists, anti-semites, ableists, and homophobes), those with inaccessible blogs, and people with generally nasty vibes and attitudes. i'm all about peace and love. i'm also duplicate friendly.

i'm selective and private, meaning i'll only interact with people i'm in a mutual following with. it might take me a while to follow back.

i don't jive with reply length requirements. i can write a couple of sentences or several long paragraphs, it just depends on what's needed for the reply. i don't expect length to be matched, but i do expect effort to be matched.

i can be slow. if patience with replies isn't your strong suit, we may not be suited to write together. i'm pretty chill about most things, so you can take all the time in the world to get back to me, ic or ooc.

please don't write me passive starters. i will not respond to them. if you're not sure what to write, it's all good. you can come talk to me to figure it out, or just don't do it at all. i won't be bothered either way.

i'm very much a fan of fallout. that said, i'm not shy about how much i dislike bethesda's fallout games. if that bothers you, please don't follow me. i love the show and don't really have anything negative to say about it. i do play 76 regularly (ask for my psn if we've gotten to know each other) but i still think it's a terrible fallout game.

feel free to send me all the memes you want. i may not respond to them because i tend to just not do them, but don't take that as a sign that i don't like you or don't want to write with you.

i'm cool doing pre-established relationships, but DM me first so we can make sure we're on the same page. * related to this, for anyone writing a black widow courier: don't assume that your character has or will sleep with my benny. this is case by case, regardless of what happened in your play through. that said, he probably will. just talk to me about it first. **also related, i'm not here to play out any power-fantasies with your courier. you can do that in the game. i'm not saying your courier can't hate benny or be cruel to him, (he deserves it), or make him look bad (he does this on his own really well, though), but if your only goal for rping with me is to "own" him and make your courier look cool, i am not the one. i also don't want to do any first meetings with couriers unless you have ideas that lie outside the box.

i'm open to shipping, but benny is pretty evil and extremely selfish, so don't expect any domestic fluffy romance to happen. don't try to force a ship with me.

there will be mature content consistent to what's shown in the fallout series. most potentially triggering content will be tagged, but i won't tag mentions or descriptions of violence, death, or gore, given how heavily present they are in the series. i will tag all images.

header, pinned, and promo images made by babs. i highly recommend her.

[ghostfaey]

La sparizione - chapter twelve

Summary: Plagued by the ghosts of her past, Riona has hidden away for centuries. That is until the call for help of a certain seer finds her and begs her to save her brother. Not knowing how her life will change, she finds her way to Volterra, directly in front of the leaders of the Volturi.

Trigger Warning: Violence, SA, blood, Death of Children, Murder, just some nasty things

<<<chapter eleven chapter thirteen>>>

"May I ask why you were in the training room anyway? It is no place for you to stay.", Aro asks and I know he is trying to hold back his anger. He does not want to lash out on me and ruin all the trust he has gained throughout the past couple of weeks. 

I was lucky enough to find him alone, without his brothers. Well, I was mostly lucky to find him without Caius because I know he would have overreacted without even knowing the full story.

"Well it was you and your brothers who gave the order for Felix to take over Jane and Alecs job, after you asked for them to be assisting in the trial.", I explain. "But I did not want Felix to neglect the training with the new recruits so I offered to stay there with him. All I wanted was to not be a bother for once."

Aro stops the pacing at once. Taking a deep sight he turns towards me.

"Cara, you are not a bother to anyone. I don't understand why you would even think so." His eyes search for mine and as they met his gaze softens. "Oh but I am. You and your brothers, you feel the need to protect me at all times and I understand that it is because you do not fully trust me yet to not run away. But wasting some of your most talented guards on me?" Aros eyes widen and he takes a step towards me, his hands naturally reaching out but falling the minute he notices. I notice his clenched fists and I want to take his hands into mine and keep them close. Laying gentle kisses upon the pale skin. 

"You really think the reason we do not want you unattended is because we do not trust you?", he asks with a gentle voice, his eyebrows furrowed as he studies me. I try to see through his act, I try to distinguish false from truth. 

"Cara, you have shown us how easy it is for you to vanish right under our very eyes. The only think we can do is to hope that somehow you find your stay with us enjoyable enough to not leave us. To hope that what we do and say is enough for you. We cannot make you stay even if we wished to. The guards are for your protection and your entertainment. Because even in our castle we cannot guarantee your safety, especially if you are alone."

Is he sincere? Aro is manipulative, a master of the spoken word. You may never know if what he says is true or if he is simply twisting words to his liking. But then again would he do that with me? Would he risk losing everything he worked so hard for? Would the bond even allow that? I am sure lying to me would hurt him in a way. 

I look at his hands, stiff against his body, trying hard to fight against the urge of touching me. 

"You think there are immortals who will see through my gift?", I ask, my voice low. "Some that would want to hurt you?"

Aros lips pull into a gentle smile but he seems frustrated with me. 

"You have met the young Isabella, have you not? We can be glad she does not pose a danger to us. Yet."

Of course. Isabella, Edwards human lover. She saw right through my act. Surely if she posesses of a gift like that while still being human, then there surely must be immortal beings with the same or even more powerful talent like her. 

"I admitt, I must have forgotten about her.", I say. Aro sights.

"So I take it you understand then why we want you protected even when we cannot be with you, yes?", he asks and I nod. 

Believing his words is harder than I thought, my mind still running in circles. If protecting me is their wish then my question is why. I want to believe that it is out of liking, out of appreciation, maybe even out of love. But the voice in my head lets me know that the only reason why they want me here is because of the bond. There is nothing else that keeps their interest. And I again do not know what is fake and not, if the relationship we have is in any way true.

Aro has turned around, returning to his desk and letting his hand glide against the polished woodenframe to distract himself in some form. 

"So we come to an understanding that the guards remain." His tone making it seem more like a statement than a question. "And I will take Felix of your guarding list permanently."

My eyes shoot up and I look at Aro in disbelief. He can't be serious. 

"Why?" One simple question but the anger in Aros eyes returns and if it wouldn't be for me knowing I am not in danger then I would almost be scared by the fire in them. 

"Do not ask foolish questions, Riona. You know exactly why I have to do this.", he hisses. How strange to see the collected leader of the Volturi in this state. Normally he is good when it comes to hiding his true feelings but not know. Now I do not even need to try to see what is really going on. I can feel it even. The slow and painful burn in my heart. I must say that I did not think that a simple thing like that would make him so angry. A simple touch that did not even hold on for more than a minute.

"Aro,", I speak, my voice soft to not anger him any further. "It was just a touch. Nothing happend. You know that." 

He groans and I step back surprised. Why is he acting like that? Why does this bother him so much. I would have expected as much from Caius but not from him.

"Just a touch? When it has been this that you have kept from me in those weeks you've been here!", he hisses and I'm taken aback by his sudden outburst. My words getting stuck in my throat.

"Since weeks I have to watch my brothers getting closer to you, touching you, hugging you, feeling your skin against theirs. Now you give what I have been craving for to a mere guard, someone who is not suppose to be nearly as close to you as me."

His explanation makes me understand what I have done to him in the last couple of weeks and my heart hurts for him. I did not mean to treat him different than his brothers. I simply wanted to protect myself. I never meant to make him feel the way he does now. Truly, to be in his presence does make me feel uncomfortable in a certain way but it has nothing to do with him or the way he holds himself near me. It is simply his gift. A gift that I can simply escape from by not being near him. 

"I am deeply sorry Aro, I never meant to make it seem like I'd prefer your brothers presence over yours.", I say and take a step towards him, my body and mind yearning to be closer to him and comfort him. He looks up at me, his temper settling with the release of an unneeded breath.

I am trying to find the right words without giving away too much, without letting him know why I so desperately try to hide my thoughts and memories from him.

"It is not that I do not want to be with you like I am with them.", I start explaining. "It is just that I remember too much. I remember things I so desperetely want to forget. But thousands of years have not made my memories foggy, they're still clear as day." 

My body begins to shake as pictures of blood and death and fire and monsters in the shape of humans flash in front of my eyes. I blink rapidly, wanting them to vanish. 

"They haunt me, day and night, like nightmares I cannot awake from. I do so much want them to be gone, to leave them behind, I fear that if I let you see inside my mind I will bring those memories with me and then I can never forget them. I have never shared them because I want them to die with me." 

To reveal this to Aro hurts me more than I would have though. Spending eternity by yourself, hiding away, it does not give you many chances to talk about your trauma. There have been moments where I though I would trust someone enough to share with them my past. But when the memories flashed before my eyes I never was able to speak. The sudden fear and panic overcame me everytime. As if I was back in the moment.

He looks at me in wonder but there is concern in his eyes, deep sorrow and the step that he takes towards me makes my walls crumble as venoumous tears threatend to spill. This time it is me who reaches out to him with shaking hands.

"Cara mia, smettila di tormentari.", he whispers. "Let me help you carry this burden. You do not have to show me everything, take them from me right after but do share them with me."

Again I catch myself questioning if he truly cares for me or if he simply lures me in so he can finally lay his hands upon my skin, let his mind merge with mine and see what I saw.

But then maybe he is right. I have been carrying this weight with me for many thousand years. Sharing what has been plaguing me with someone could ease the pain. And Aro is perfect for this matter. He can see right inside my mind, no word has to come over my lips. He will know everything with a simple touch.

And there is always the possibility to take away what he had learned. Isn't it worth a try? Besides, my body yearns for him, for his touch, his comfort, his smell enveloping me, his arms holding me safely. Or maybe it is not just my body, but more my entirety. Everything in me pulls me towards him and it hurts to fight against it. 

I need him. Just like I need his brothers. There is nothing that I can do to change that as much as I want to. If I even want to change it.  

A smile lays itself on my lips. My feet move against the marble floor and before I even realize my hands, that have been shakily reaching for his, instead cup his face. Laying themself against his cold cheeks, a slight shiver running through me as I make contact with his skin. 

His eyes widen. He lays his hands softly unto mine, so soft I can almost not feel them. 

"Then take them away, Aro. Take them from me." I am not sure if he can still hear me as his eyes glaze over and I feel a slight prickle in the back of my head. 

In his trance his hands leave mine and instead they find their way around my waist as they pull me against him. I place one of my hands upon his chest, my head safely tucked under his chin and I let myself feel at peace. My senses are surrounded by him. Everything I see and feel and smell, it is all him.

It is easy to tell when he reaches the memories I have been hiding, avoiding and trying to get rid of. He tenses up and pulls me even closer, as if he wants to absorb me into him. I would let him.

A tight feeling in my chest tells me what exactly Aro is feeling and when a soft gasp leaves his lips and fingers try to dig into my skin I know it is done. 

It does take some time before his posture relaxes and I can tell he is back with me. 

Slender fingers brush patterns against my back, to comfort me or to distract himself I do not know.

I feel strange, empty, as if I have given something away from me. As if I have lost something I would not miss.

It feels new, differents and oh so strange.

But through all that I can still feel Aros arms around me and somehow I feel at home.

[cosmicangel888]

Go Beyond - that is the way ~ 5D Earth

We are meant in the most profound joyful excitement to take every aspect of our life on earth & transcend it in pure alignment of our hearts, oneness, peace jump off from there

We are not meant to remain stagnant at any level in anything

We are evolutionary beings; light is this way

The Master Jesus, was not a religion-we created that around His essence, message, energy in our earth, all life; we wrote stories meaning around His offering;

Purposeful yes, but ready for renewal & upliftment; there is far more He used divine sound, mudra's beyond any rule, definitions will never squash the eternal growth and wisdoms that is the Masters, angelics, God, Mother, Father - all is One

The Holy Jesus, used mudra's, sounds, the pure alignment of God within , this is healing; purity of heart & God connection; it is profound and will bring you to your knees and alter your life, body, reality in a moments breath - this is God - God is not a religion of old ways and corrupt actions and rules of subjugation - better than, less than, control and ego pastors of guilt and shame;

We are beyond such - we are divine and all life is sacred; and all is equal and measured such in the Heavens - this is our new earth - so be in all masters of life - I write with the fire of the Heavens, the love of the Mother and the will of the Holy Father - I am that messenger of all blue crystals in hope and promise of a loving graceful earth - humanity of respect and bowing at all feet of the life breathed of the Divine - we have lost such importance of life - ©

We are new

Make this thy will of respect and valour of thyself and pure heart - all will be shown, The Mastery of Jesus - He was a divine being of many realms; the Pleiades, Sirian, Lyran as a Healer, He was alchemic perfection of DF/DM and soft and gentle in His step - He was of the honour of all life - where in which life grew at His feet - the sweetness of God is this way; there would not be life without the bearer of Divine Feminine the will of the Father and the peace of the planet in waiting - all is such - we are to be the embodiment of such - if you choose - all is choice, ©

Rejoice in the uplifting of humanity and liberation of love, light, oneness, sacredness of spirit singing through you for more life - or not

Do we idolize the entertainers that bid against one another to be more popular, or ones that bring human suffering to greater stillness, peace, recognition, balance, what do we idolize; the first statement should be love of oneness within

This is our lesson - we are now awakening - what is your remembrance

All is purposeful - judge not - simply be in love within -

Crime, Violence, death and disease is not necessary - all is the spark of the divine - heavenly and true - should you see it, allow it, surrender into IT

Heal thy triggers, wounds, so they do not become anothers ©

There are celestials aliens - watch what happens next - Divine feminine will lead the way of liberation in creative expression that will allow for the depths of suppressed purging and subjugation of limitations of all ages - these are sacred truths and we are so ready for it

God has blessed me for such delivery and all is a secret and all is what God, the Mother and the Father - of whom all that had suppressed and pressed down upon me, the word will be lifted, the love will be shone on all life, life upon life, life between life

A single note is eternal - it never ceases to exist - it is the living song of Spirit, all matter is spirit - so too you -

Blessings be of oneness and peace for all Creation - love is

Joanna

#ascension

#enlightenment

#awakening

#christconsciousness

#Arcturus

#ChristConsciousness

#Soul

#destiny

#healinghumanity

#God

#consciousness

#healingourchildren

#healingearth

#Gaia

#peace

#unity

#healingDivinefeminine

#healingDivinemasculine

JoannaCosmicAngel@yahoo.com

Donations are always appreciated * Awaken to Oneness ~~~~~

Donations and sacred offerings, please see our

PayPal link here; paypal.me/JoannaLRoss

[yoongsisbae]

Spring Day Still with You | JJK

You ran away from the cold and Jungkook ran with you, warming each other’s hearts. But within the cycle of life, there is death, and as spring blooms, the blood still lays soaked in the dirt. You ran and they chased.

hybrid!Jungkook x reader. fantasy AU

Hey reader, I am back with another story! I know I usually update sooner, so much stuff has happened in my life to “slow me down”, but hopefully this makes up for it! Anyways, enjoy this unofficial official sequel to Not a Creature was Stirring aka Y/N and JK being fluffy and cute and then taking on his bros like the ultimate power couple :D

Warnings: horror elements, blood, gore, violence, monsters, unwanted kisses/scenting, smut, knotting u.u, breeding kink, exhibitionism, predator/prey, “catch me”

Word Count: 15k

-🌑-

Jungkook doesn’t remember how he became a beast. 

But he remembers when he first became human.

It was in Spring, when he reached twenty years of age. 

One morning he woke up without fur, terrified of his new weakened body. He wandered his forest, lost and confused. He never had a family, he never had anyone who taught him what he was. 

A lone wolf. 

Jungkook grew up not knowing anything other than loneliness, hungry nights without any kills and mornings waking up in a panic, running away from animals and humans alike, not understanding how powerful he truly was. He spent evenings hiding, jittery, scared. Even though he was only a pup, his form resembled a large wild wolf, a predator. 

Jungkook’s kind were meant to dominate the land, hunt animal kind and human kind and prey on everything in between. Jungkook didn’t know, he knew of nothing except survival.

Jungkook grew and became monstrous. He didn’t have to hide anymore, he didn’t have to run, and no longer went hungry at night. But inside, his loneliness ate him alive instead. 

His kind were not meant to exist alone, even though Jungkook did not remember what happened to make him an outcast, he knew deep down how abnormal it was for him to be without a pack, without a family.

By chance he found others like him. 

At least, that’s what he believed... 

At his weakest moment, wandering aimlessly, wishing for a better existence or perhaps no existence at all, he became human. 

It was something that happened to all of his kind eventually, but he was never taught that, never shown how to utilize his powers, and Jungkook was once again terrified and alone and small. 

Jungkook was found by a young boy out hunting with his father. It was actually their luck that they did not stumble upon Jungkook in his beast form, for both Jungkook and the pair of men. 

And finally Jungkook learned something...

When the old man rushed to his side, took off his hunting coat and gave it to Jungkook, when the boy helped him to his feet and Jungkook walked on two legs for the first time, and they took him back to their home, he learned about living life as a young human man. 

He was shy, Jungkook did not understand how to live like a human, barely understanding how to live like a beast. But they gave him kindness. 

Kindness, he also learned, was always punished in the end.

Jungkook was never taught the mechanics of his transformation, he thought this new body was what he was always meant to become, had given him a way to finally not be alone. He stayed human for days, months, years…he did not understand what he truly was. 

He learned their language, their customs, he helped the father who in his old age was slowing down; he became friends with the son, and finally had a home. Jungkook slowly let down his walls.

Eating fresh caught fish at a table with kind strangers who treated him like one of their own, Jungkook smiled and felt a sense of peace wash over him, a happiness now that he was not alone.  

It was the calmness, an acceptance within him, that triggered his second transformation.

It was a calmness before a terrible storm.

When that father and son first stumbled upon Jungkook, scared and wandering alone in the woods, they were not the only ones who had found him.

But unlike a man, a predator hid in the shadows, stalked its target, unseen and unheard, always learning, always observing. Because a predator knew when to strike at the perfect moment.

So when Jungkook, unable to control himself, transformed, it was an instantaneous reaction so quick he will never know who attacked first.

Was it him, with his senses so heightened once again, his instincts to end the looming danger so strong that overtook all of his reason?

Or was it the father and son, so fearful of his beastly form, their once kind eyes now looking upon him with contention? Jungkook doesn’t know, but he has always blamed himself nonetheless.

The home he had found was destroyed in a flash of fur and bloodshed, the people he grew to care for turned on him before he could grasp what he had done. And Jungkook, broken again, transformed back to human and believed he was alone once more, now by his own blood-stained hands. 

Standing in destruction, he found a truth within himself that he was more than a scared animal or a weak human, he realized that he was a monster.

With their blood dripping from his hair, his hands, staining his skin and the rancid metal taste of what used to be kindness covering his lips, he hated what he was.

He cried, devastated at what happened, wishing he too laid in a pile of bones and limbs with them. And then overcome, he felt his arms and legs stretch and break and reform again.

He howled.

He thought he was alone. 

But they had been watching him all this time. Waiting.

And they pounced. 

A group of men circled him, and even though he could have torn them to shreds, he curled into himself, tried to lick away the blood tangled in his fur and whined and wretched. 

He did not understand his own power, but they did. 

They saw how massive and eclipsing he was, they saw his potential even in his patheticness. How useful he could be to them one day. 

The leader walked forward, and did something Jungkook never expected to witness. He transformed too, instantly becoming a beast just like him. His eyes red and glowing, pierced into Jungkook with an understanding, that Jungkook did not have to give up just yet. His fangs pulled at Jungkook’s nape, ordering him to move. Jungkook whimpered, then howled. And to his surprise, he was met with six other howls. 

The men were gone, it was now only a den of beasts.

So they took him back into the woods. And because Jungkook had nowhere else to go, he went.

And he learned more, he learned what it was to be beastly.

That was nearly eighty years ago.

-🌖-

“Ow!”

Jungkook frowns, “Nothing happened.”

“Was something supposed to happen?” You rub your shoulder, huffing. You sit with Jungkook on the steps of your cabin. 

He’s cute in the way he looks at you, eyes wide and inquisitive. “I thought it might trigger your transformation, getting hurt.”

You roll your eyes, your irises already dulled back to your natural color. You pull your legs into your body, leaning your chin on your knees, and look toward the landscape, bright and sunny, inches of white snow slowly melting in the sunlight. 

‘Last night....what happened last night,’ you wonder.

There are deep scratches etched into the wood of the cabin walls from yesterday’s fight. The wind’s howls still echoed inside of you.

Another howling, terrifying; a growling, echoed in your thoughts too.

A twig snapped you out of your spiraling thoughts. Everything was now calm and peaceful. Everything except you. Jungkook stares at you, knees knocking into your own.

‘What happened?!’ You tried to piece it together, but it was lost. You only had a series of memories that barely made sense, that felt like a dream, or what more adequately could be described as nightmarish.

Red eyes staring right into yours, a wet slimy snout so close to you, long sharp fangs barely missing your skin, snowflakes that seemed like they stood still in the air as you moved, and a desire inside you to...kill-

You can’t stay here anymore! And Jungkook? He can’t stay here, no, you won’t leave him, but can you really leave this place...together? Should you?

How are you going to explain Jungkook to your friends and family? And there was another question piecing itself inside you. What were you going to do about the undeniable energy coursing through your body, the buzzing warmth from within you that you can’t comprehend, the freezing air that feels refreshing on your skin... 

“Explain what happened again. What do you mean I was still human?”

Jungkook wishes he had answers to give you, the one who could give him answers he couldn’t risk asking. “You still looked human. Your hair was longer,” he plays with your finger tips, examining each nail, “and your nails and teeth were sharper, but you still looked like you.”

His large eyes stare at you, remembering, awe-like, “You were fast, faster than all of us. You really don’t remember anything?”

You felt dizzy. Your head wasn't spinning, you weren't off balance, it felt like the lightheadedness you get after singing, too much air, too much light, too much, it was all too much. “No...I-I’m sorry-” you stand up, turning away.

Jungkook pulls you back and into a kiss, surprising you, his strong arms wrapping around you, his smell engulfing you. Has he always smelled so enticing?

Jungkook pulls away, perplexed. “No, that didn’t work either,” he hums. 

You pout, his kiss had silenced your worries until he reminded you once more. “We need to leave, before they come back,” you say resolutely. “We can’t stay here.”

“Okay, are you sure?”

“I...Yes.” You take a deep calming breath. “Yes, I can’t stay here, Jungkook. I have to go back,” you say, sad and weary.

Jungkook stands with you, his hand grasping onto yours. “Okay. Let’s go.”

You can’t help but smile. And he smiles too.

-

You pace through the cabin one last time, making sure nothing was left behind, steps heavy on the cabin floor as you walk quicker than usual. “We’ll have to find our own way back to the ranger’s post.” Jungkook nods, trepidation clear on his features, yet he was willing to do what you asked. 

You massage your temples while looking over your luggage, belongings that remind you there was a world waiting for you past this cabin and these woods. A job you had to get back to, relationships you had to mend, a life you had to pick up the pieces of to keep moving forward. 

But you didn’t want to leave. Everything feels so inconsequential now. You catch Jungkook’s beautiful brown eyes following you around and you feel scared to leave the security of the cabin that had become such a safe haven to you both in such a short amount of time.

“What if it happens again and I can’t remember again?” You whisper, shuddering at the thought.

Jungkook looks just as confused and conflicted as you feel inside. He reaches for you, holding you close. “I’ll be there with you.”

-🌖-

“What’s that?”

“Electric Teapot.”

“What’s this?”

“A rice cooker.” You lean against Jungkook’s back, wrapping your arms around his lean torso. “Any other questions?”

He lifts his arm so your head peeks under it. “How are you feeling?”

“The same,” you shrug, “maybe hungrier,” you laugh. “Want me to show you how to use that?” You point to your microwave. 

Jungkook looks at the appliance and scrunches his nose in disapproval. “No.” 

You giggle, pulling him through your home. The journey back to the ranger’s post went smoothly. Jungkook transformed one last time and took you to the edge of the woods. Racing through the woods his senses were on high alert, but there was no left trace of his pack. However, Jungkook couldn’t get rid of the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that you both were still in terrible danger.

But your smile reassured him. 

Jungkook was calmed by the way you looked wistfully towards the woods that were full of horrors, laughing with the new ranger on duty while giving him back the keys to the cabin. You spun the silver house keyring around your pointer finger listening as the ranger told you the best roads to take back towards the city, only vaguely aware of how the silver coating now itched your skin the longer you played with the keys.

Then the car ride back to your place left Jungkook overstrung, jumpy. The city’s mechanics were a jarring contrast, everything sounded louder after staying in the wilderness, even to you. Jungkook stayed on edge until you both entered your apartment. 

It’s not as if Jungkook hasn’t visited the city before. However, years of advancing technology made the woods a more ideal hunting ground for his kind. It was a blessing and a curse. Jungkook stayed in the woods, growing more isolated, for what could have been a lifetime in human years. Jungkook could barely recognize the city as it was now. But there were reminders, street names prattled by a monotone navigation voice that stirred unpleasant memories inside him.

Memories like...

-🌒-

“Can’t we go home now?”

“Our Jungkook always has such a soft spot for humans.” The second youngest of the pack, Taehyung puts drapes his arm around Jungkook’s neck, squeezing him into a painful headlock.

“It will be okay Jungkook, we’ll be quick,” his brother, Jimin whispers, smiling.

“Speak for yourself,” Taehyung grunts.

“But the screaming is so annoying,” Jimin whines. Jungkook feels like screaming.

The oldest members of the pack were getting closer, each with an unsuspecting human or two clinging to their bodies, laughing drunkedly as they led the way to Jungkook and the others.

Before Jungkook could attempt to dissuade them again, Taehyung and Jimin had already transformed, bounding towards the large group. Jungkook reluctantly transformed and followed, keeping a lookout, but really hoping to ward away others out of harm’s path.

The humans screamed and the members they had befriended lead them down another alley, pretending to help, a deadly trick.

They escaped right into a dead end. And then, when they believed things could not get any worse, the men’s mood shifted, and so did their bodies.

-

It was like this in the beginning. When Jungkook was taught the extent of his powers from his pack, they would go into the city to prowl. He was taught how to lure in prey another way. And Jungkook reluctantly learned how to approach humans and make friends so his pack could feast.

Like most things they asked of him, he answered with a kind of quiet resistance, many times he refused to partake and his personality became quite...unalluring.

He was rude, mean, and hateful to humans. Yet, it wasn’t because he hated them. He did it to spare them, he could not have human friends, and he could not find friendship amongst his pack who found him odd and difficult to teach. It caused the pack to bully Jungkook for fighting against their ways, tearing him down and belittling him, until one day, on Christmas Eve, he decided he had enough...

-🌖-

You check your phone, no new messages from your mysterious host. You left a voice message, trying to stay light in your inquiries to her, but perhaps you need to be more direct, you think. Still, how are you going to convince a stranger to help you when it could put her in danger as well? 

You call again, leaving another voice message. “Hello! It’s me again...your cabin was lovely, I felt very safe. I was, well, hoping you could give me some tips on how to properly make my own home feel just as secure-” You frown, how direct is too direct? “-from you know, um, unwanted visitors…please call me back.” 

You hang up, hoping for a good response to your awkward plea. “What do you think?” You look at the magnets littered on your fridge, pulling down old photos that left an unpleasant taste in your mouth, your eyes stopping on the number to your favorite take out place, “Take out tonight?” you ask Jungkook.

“Um, ‘take’…‘out’?”

It’s not like you had a ton of expendable cash to feed and take care of another living being, but watching Jungkook devour your favorite dishes, humming in happiness as he tries the greasy take out food, made you think maybe this arrangement could work out somehow for the best.

You hadn’t expected another man in your life so soon, but you realized, trying not to laugh as Jungkook took his time cleaning the bones of his fried chicken, he was not quite all man…

You smiled, and then wondered what that meant for you, looking down at your short nails that Jungkook claimed became as sharp as talons.

“Eat,” he holds out a piece of chicken which you gratefully take. He looks towards the window, “We’re high up, that’s good.”

“Yeah?”

He nods, grabbing another piece of chicken and speaking in between bites. “It makes it harder to track a scent.”

You feel fear wash down your spine, cold and unpleasant. “Do you think they will? They’d come to the city for us? All this way?”

All those years, Jungkook never tried to leave the woods on his own, so he did not know. But he understood the pack’s dynamics, you had wounded them, and if they survived he knew they would not take a loss without retaliation. And he knew they would stop at nothing to establish their dominance again.

Jungkook moves to your window, cracking it open. He could smell so many things, but nothing out of the ordinary for a city. “If they come,” he breathes out, “I’ll be ready for them this time. I’ll be better, I’ll protect you no matter what.”

You watch the city lights twinkle and bury your head in his chest, hugging him close, making a silent promise to yourself to protect him too.

-🌘- 

You felt snow beneath your bare feet, the coldness was only a mild bother.

In fact, you felt warm.

The woods surrounding you were familiar, the dead branches spreading out in patterns you recognized. You stayed quiet and listened, and if you concentrated hard enough you could hear the wings of a large bird flying overhead, gliding from one branch to another, you could hear the small steps of a bunny rabbit moving on the ground, you could hear steady breathing in the distance. 

You saw a wolf. 

It was not intimidatingly large like Jungkook, it did not look terrifying and monstrous like the man in the fur coat, or wild and threatening like the wolves that chased you. 

It was a calm wolf with dark long fur. Its eyes watched you, studied you. 

The wolf’s eyes were not a menacing shade of red like the beasts’ eyes that haunted you still. No. It’s eyes stared into yours, a familiar shade that made you think of only one thing as the wolf moved closer to you, mere inches from your face, so close you could see your own reflection in its similar eyes, your eyes staring back like a mirror in its orbs. Your hand reached for your cheek in reflex, pulling on your bottom eyelid. Your eyes…

Your eyes.

It was your eyes.

“Y/n!” 

Jungkook shook you, waking you up. You clung to him, surprised. “You…you were crying in your sleep,” he says worriedly. 

You catch your breath, feeling the sting in your eyes from your mounting tears. “I’m sorry, sorry, I’m okay.” you reassure him, and yourself, cuddling back into his embrace.

“Are you sure?” he whispers, burying his nose in your neck out of habit. “I am here, you can talk to me. You don’t have to go through this alone,” he says softly, remembering all the moments when he wished he could hear someone utter those words. No, he won’t let what happened to him happen to you too.

You run your fingers through his hair, untangling the ends, your chin resting against his forehead. “I feel it inside me…this other thing. How do I stop something like that?” Your voice shakes as you try to make sense of your dream. “How do you?”

“It took me a while to control it,” he winces.

“How do you? ‘Control’ it?”

Jungkook pauses, thinking of his pack.

They would transform in front of him quickly and fluidly, utilizing whatever form benefited them in the moment. It took him a long while, to not let his emotions dictate his outside form, and eventually he felt comfortable enough to switch between forms, learning to follow their lead if only so Jungkook wouldn’t be left behind...

“I shouldn’t have used that word. You don’t control it, you accept it. I can transform easily because I know this is me,” he looks down at his hand, intertwined in yours, “And my other form...” he trails off, quieting screams that still shrill in his memory, “is who I am too,” he swallows.

But for you, if that beast hadn’t attacked you, you wouldn’t be going through this…this nightmare. This isn’t you.

You nod anyway, kissing his forehead to not only calm him, but your own worries as well.

“I have a couple more days of vacation,” you yawn. “I can show you around. We can buy you some clothes.”

Jungkook pulls the ends of your hoodie down, “I like wearing your clothes, they smell nice.”

You laugh and yawn. “We can get you clothes that fit you better. I need new clothes too, it’s going to warm up soon, I already feel so hot,” you huff, adjusting the collar of your night shirt. 

Jungkook’s reaction does not go unnoticed by you, the way he licks his lips absentmindedly, eyeing your revealed skin, his grip on your body tightening.

“Jungkook…”

“Yes?” He leans on his elbow, looking down at you. His eyes were curious, cautious, but his chest was heavy on yours. His presence over you left your stomach hungry-

You felt that hunger drop through your body, spread down your legs as you felt yourself heat up for an entirely different reason.

You try to focus on something other than his warmth.

“Is this okay for you? Being here in the city?” You push his hair behind his ear so you can stare into his eyes. Jungkook nods, but you press him. “Are you going to be okay? Everything here is so…tight, packed. You were free in the woods.” Even the cabin felt less confining than your apartment. Would he even be able to transform here? 

Jungkook shakes his head no, a small smile curling over his lips, “I wasn’t free. Not until I met you.”

You interlace your fingers with his. “You might have to stay just human until I can find some place better, is that okay?” You were thinking of leaving this place anyways, there were too many old memories here, traces of your ex that stuck to the walls of your home.

“I like being human,” Jungkook shrugs, lying his head back down on your shoulder. “I want to be human, with you.” Jungkook’s preference was one of the reasons his packmates would torment him, how could he prefer such a weaker form?

“I want to be with you too,” you hum, melding into Jungkook’s embrace. “I love you,” you whisper, knowing Jungkook could hear you loud and clear. It was undeniable how much you wanted him near you, how you wished you had met him sooner, before your heart was broken and guarded, maybe then you wouldn’t feel so fearful of your future together.

Jungkook smiled and moved himself closer…and as you were both already pressed up against each other, closer meant his body over yours, legs tangled, his head buried into the crook of your neck .

Now that Jungkook had already given himself to you, it was hard to stop himself when you were right there, in nothing but a t-shirt, so beautiful under him.

He wanted all his senses filled with just you.

He breathed in deep. He wanted to drown in the sweet scent of your love, feel your skin against every inch of his, listen to your soft sighs, your breathing escalating as he licked across your neck.

He wanted to study your features, your body, memorize your unique and intoxicating taste as he explored your mouth with his tongue.

He wanted to tell you the same, he wanted to make you his mate, and hold you forever. 

But he was still too shy and unsure of himself. He doubted he even deserved such a happy ending to his life when so much wickedness lived inside of him. 

But with you under him, even if he couldn’t tell you what he desired, his instincts to claim you in that moment took over. You were always so responsive from his touch, so inviting, and he craved your sweetness.

Your mouth widened and your legs opened, acting like a perfect mate, he thought. Your lust hit him in waves, each hit stronger than the last, encouraging him on. It made his desire to have you all consuming.

You gasp as Jungkook rips your shirt open. Oh, you’re definitely going to need more clothes.

It was hard to be annoyed over clothes when Jungkook had himself pressed so tightly against you, his mouth kissing you with such unrestrained passion it made your head spin.

You both rushed to have him inside of you, you were so wound up and ready to release all the tension and anxiety you felt.

“So warm,” Jungkook moaned, buried deep inside you. His hips jerk forward, pushing you up the bed. “So soft.” He loved the softness of your body when he bent your legs forward, spread your thighs open, his fingers digging into your supple skin. With the curves of your body molding into his, all he could think about was how perfect you were for him, his perfect mate.

You don’t think you’ll ever get quite used to this full feeling, or the way Jungkook makes love to you so fervently. Even on your best days with your past lover, it was never like this. What you felt in Jungkook’s embrace was primal.

Your bodies collided together like you were meant to stay connected as one. The pleasure you felt was blinding, bright as the light of two stars crashing together and creating something so brilliant there was nothing else. And for you, there was only Jungkook consuming your thoughts and overriding your senses, driving you higher into the cosmos.

“Yes, yes, yes!” your cries of pleasure only made Jungkook thrust faster, harder into your heat. The way you tightened and he expanded felt so intensely satisfying you both unraveled into a mixture of grunts and growls, until you came around him shaking, his own following quickly after, hips stuttering and filling you up.

You clenched around him in sensitivity as he swelled even more inside you. “Fuck, I’m not used to this,” you shuddered, laughing breathlessly.

“Sorry,” Jungkook nipped at your lips, rolling over so you laid over him, nestled to his chest. You listened to his erratic heartbeat as your own breathing slowed. “My kind mate like this.”

“‘Mate’…” you smile against his chest at the way he describes the act. “Is that what we’re doing, mating? Are you trying to get me pregnant, Jungkook?” you tease cheekily. You were on birth control, so you weren’t particularly worried, but giggled at Jungkook’s flushed face and flustered expression.

Jungkook bites his lips as your fingers draw circles into his chest. You should be tired after coming, but the way his dick was still hard and thick inside you hadn’t helped to lessen your appetite to have him. The twitch of his cock felt so good still, the fullness of his cum inside you felt obscenely arousing. You swiveled your hips against his, making you both moan.

“If you wanted to…” The thought of you pregnant with his child had his body feverish. He licked his lips, calming himself before he took you all over again. He could smell you weren’t yet in heat, but that did not stop his fantasies from running wild.

“Is that what you want?” you ask, licking your lips. 

Jungkook shifts inside you again, barely holding himself together.

Could he have this; his deepest desires, with you?

He nods quickly. You run your thumb across his jawline. You hadn’t really thought about children with your ex-boyfriend, especially at the end of your relationship when the sex was barely existent. When you looked down at Jungkook, who looked so reverently up at you, who you’ve known for only a sliver of time...somehow the idea of a future family seemed more…real than it’s ever been.

“Let’s work on getting you some new clothes first,” you smile. “Then we can talk about that–hey! O-Oh–” you laugh, your giggles turning into a series of moans as Jungkook pulls you into a kiss, pressing his hips up.

---

You giggle as Jungkook carries eight bags full of new clothes and groceries. He looks around the open market, head spinning in all directions at the sight and sounds and smells. You looked at a table with jewelry displayed. There were already Valentine’s Day sales, but even with the marked down price it was still out of your price range. You frown, “Ready to go home?” Jungkook nods, bags in tow.

“Just set everything on the table, what do you think of stew tonight? I have a new recipe I want to try!” you clasp your hands together excitedly, pulling off your coat and rolling up your sleeves. Jungkook was already dressed in one of his new outfits, a tight sheer turtleneck that made his muscles stand out.

You reached for the ends of his sleeves, rolling them to his forearms. Jungkook stared down at you, smirking at the way your body was already starting to heat up. 

“Here, for you.”

“Jungkook, where did you get that?!” You grab the bracelet from his hand, astonished.

“Err you wanted it, didn’t you? You were staring at it back at the-”

“But you can’t just take it! That’s stealing!” You turn the shiny piece dangling in your grasp, admiring it despite your worries.

Jungkook frowns, “I’m s-sorry, that’s what we used to do when we came into the city.”

“You and your, um, brothers?” you ask. Jungkook nods. “You can’t…there’s CCTV, you’ll get caught,” you warn. Jungkook bites his bottom lip, he very much doubted he would get caught, but he nodded in agreement nonetheless.

“It’s beautiful…” you murmur, “but not worth getting in trouble.” You still put it around your wrist, Jungkook helps you clasp the ends when you struggle, concentrating on the tiny piece with a furrowed brow that makes you giggle.

“Thank you, Jungkook…but don’t do it again, please.” Jungkook nods, surprised when you pull him into a hug, and then pull his head down for a kiss. If you react this way, he will just have to find a way to get you jewelry without stealing, he thinks, already wanting to do it again.

“We need to cook!” you laugh when he licks and nibbles the column of your neck.

A knock draws both your attention away.

Who could be knocking so late at night? It couldn’t be your family or friends, they would have called you ahead of time.

And suddenly you felt like you were back in the woods, fear washing over you as you walked cautiously closer to the door, peering through the peephole.

No…

‘Stay there,’ you motion to Jungkook anxiously, who looks back at you like he wants to do anything but that.

You unlock the door and open it. “What are you doing here?”

“Y/n, hey. I heard you were back from your trip. How was your Christmas?”

Your ex stands awkwardly at your door. ‘It was supposed to be our trip,’ you think, annoyed. “Yeah,” you clear your throat. “It was good. Did you need something?”

He looks lost, confused at your demeanor. You frown, crossing your arms over your chest. What did he expect from you? you think, to beg him to take you back? “I, um, wanted to get some things I left...”

“Okay, stay here-”

“Let me help you, I wanted to talk-”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” You block his way in as he advances, holding the door firmly.

“Come on, you’re really going to make me wait out here in the cold?”

You look down at your shoulder, the place where your ex had his hand placed over. You were not happy about the flood of emotions that entered your system, it was already hard enough to see his face, hear his voice, but then he had to go and touch you in some quazi-comforting gesture that made your blood boil and your heart ache. You couldn’t stop the shaking in your voice after that, “...after what you did…yes.” You flinch backward, shaking his hand off.

“I’m sorry, y/n, I’m so sorry. Please believe me-”

“I’ll never trust a word you say ever again!”

“Y/n, are you okay?” A hand landed on your shoulder again, gripping it hard, pressing into the muscle to relax your tense body.

Jungkook stood at your back protectively, crossing his arms, chest puffed out trying to look intimidating, and you guess he did to others who did not know him like you did.

You were grateful for his presence. “I’m fine,” you mumble looking over your shoulder, “Let me go get your stuff,” you address your ex. 

“Uh-” Jungkook moves forward, hiding you from his view. “H-Hey.”

Jungkook glares, lips tightly shut, leaving a heavy awkward silence in the air.

Your ex stands stiffly at your door until you come back with a box of his old clothes and toiletries. “Here you go.”

He looks between you and Jungkook. “Is this a friend?” You could tell he was uncomfortable with even that idea, his demeanor completely caught off guard by Jungkook’s presence.

You were allowed to move on, he’s the one who cheated on you! The days after you caught him in the act, leading up to Christmas, were some of the worst days of your life. You haven’t forgotten or forgiven him. Your ex had made you feel worthless, stomping on your feelings like you were dirt under his shoe, he made you think no one could love you again...

“No,” you say, “this is my boyfriend.”

You guess you could call Jungkook that. Your bond was a bit more complicated, even if neither of you really made things official until this moment.

“What, your ‘boyfriend?’” he said, tone unpleasant.

“Yes,” Jungkook glares, daring him to challenge him, placing his hand protectively around your waist. “I’m hers.”

You have unwittingly become leader of your own little pack. It was definitely a complicated bond.

-🌕-

It happened during the next full moon.

You woke up drenched in sweat, your muscles locked, your skin felt like it was on fire.

You were in too much pain to speak, you trembled and whimpered instead. Jungkook pulled your body out of bed, carrying you to your shower, holding you tightly as water cascaded down your bodies, steam filling the bath even though the water was cold. 

Your eyes were a glowing shade of red as you shook in Jungkook’s arms and looked up at him pleading for help. The more you fought against what was happening, the more pain you felt. Your long nails dug into his arm, drawing blood as you gritted your teeth.

“I’m here, I’m here, I’ll protect you” Jungkook whispered soothingly, but he did not really know how to help you. Until you began screaming, resisting with everything inside you, and all he could do to quiet you was to press his lips to yours, softening your cries.

You woke up on your living room floor, furniture pushed to the walls and Jungkook’s large wolf body encircled around you, with only a foggy memory of the night before.

-🌗-

“Hello! Thank you for returning my call.”

Jungkook sits cross legged on your couch, now pushed to the wall, as you pace around the living room. After that terrifying night you left a lengthy voice massage for the cabin’s owner, desperate for help.

Jungkook watches you move back and forth and wishes he could calm your nerves. He felt useless, like a burden, a horrible mate, no, a boyfriend, Jungkook reminded himself.

“Heh, did I say werewolf?” you pace to the left, “Wait are those real? Oh, of course, that makes sense...” you pace to the right, “Yes...um, I did say that, didn’t I? Well, he was human when I brought him inside, I wouldn’t just let a wolf inside your cabin-” you stop in the center, sending Jungkook a worried smile, “Yes. Right. I-I just really need your help!” Jungkook shifts forward on the couch encouraging you to keep going. “Your cabin had um, some kind of, protection magic? Right?” Jungkook watches as you listen to her answer, shaking your head in frustration. “I’ll pay you! I will pay you, if you help me.”

“Oh…” You take a seat on the couch. Jungkook listens as you explain what happened on Christmas Day in more detail and the days following, his head in your lap, enjoying when you scratch his scalp. You slump into the cushions, pouting. “Yes, I know you said not to go outside at night, but-”

You play with the strands of Jungkook’s hair as you listen silently. “Is there a way to protect my home too?” you ask, so pleadingly Jungkook wraps his arms around your waist wishing you did not have to go through this.

“He’s not!” you yell. “Oh, I was not–I see…yes.”

Suddenly, your exasperated expression turns into one of excitement. You jump up from the couch, looking for a paper and pen. “Yes yes! Okay.” Jungkook looks over your shoulder thinking, ‘What is Wolfsbane?’

“Thank you!”

-🌓-

This counted as spring cleaning right? you think as you finish boxing the last items left in your bedroom. “Jungkook!”

“Yeah?” he seemingly appears out of nowhere, peaking into the room.

“Can you tape this up?” you ask, standing up and brushing the dust off your pants.

Jungkook nods, tape gun already in hand. His helpfulness is cute and endearing, and his lack of shirt and tight ripped pants made him irresistible. You run to the kitchen to make sure your sexy boyfriend doesn’t distract you any more than he already has.

But Jungkook, for all his intimidating good looks, acts like a lost puppy, following after you straight away. “Let me help.” He reaches over you, pulling the last of the dishes from the top shelves of your cabinets.

He smells good. Even after hours of moving boxes, he smells so good.

“Hey,” his hushed voice drops two octaves, looking down at you. He could always tell when you were distracted...aroused.

“Two more hours until the movers get here,” you remind him. You were relieved you found a nice place to move into, it was bigger and cheaper due to its location near a college, and there was even a park in walking distance.

Jungkook licks his lips, “Two more hours?” he repeats, moving closer to you.

“We haven’t finished packing,” you remind him, sensing his intentions.

Your hand against his bare chest for space is not helping, only decreasing your reluctance. “Two hours is plenty of time,” he surprises you by picking you up, dropping you on the counter.

“We should focus on–oh–the–ah-”

You really couldn’t focus on anything other than Jungkook’s mouth leaving love bites across your chest, his lips and teeth dragging down your skin, lowering his head until he was nipping at your stomach.

He teased you, pulling away your clothes until you were naked and willing to waste time with him. Your enthusiasm always riled Jungkook up, made him animalistic, until he was pushing you down onto the only carpet left unrolled, mounting you and thrusting into you hard and deep as you squirmed under his strong hold, getting wetter and tighter as he quickened his paced until he was feral, unhinged thrusts fucking into you as deep as he could reach.

“Please-”

“Please what?” he growled into your ear, spilling all his filthy thoughts out, “Give it to you harder? Fill your womb up with my seed?”

“Yes-”

“You would look so good–ah-full with my pups. Would you like that?” He laid his weight over you, rolling his hips to reach every part inside you.

“Fill me up,” you moan, “I want your babies.”

Jungkook’s cock swelled, pumping you full of his cum. You could feel rivers of his release against your walls, sticky and wet, with no place to go with his cock plugged inside you.

You laid gasping and twitching under him, covered in sweat, filled to the brim.

“Want more?” he grunts, holding your body down. You nod eagerly.

-

Knock knock knock.

You and Jungkook look up surprised, locked together and naked, thinking of a good excuse for the movers.

-🌕-

Three times it’s happened, and though it's gotten easier for Jungkook, it never gets easier for you.

Walking the aisles of the convenience store late at night kept your mind off the things in your life you couldn’t control. Like random spontaneous transformations, the looming threat of monsters after you, or reoccurring night terrors that left you with even more unanswered questions.

You sneaked away while Jungkook was sleeping, hoping that a surprise dinner date would do as an apology for the night before.

Even if Jungkook did not act like you had done anything wrong, this morning you saw the fresh scars that covered his shoulders and reached his neck. It killed you inside to see the marks, evidence of what you had done...it terrified you.

“Can’t go wrong with noodles,” you sigh, adding a variety of flavors for Jungkook to try. ‘Hmmm, what else would he like?’ You should probably get him some meat too, you think, grabbing various cuts. You weren’t a big meat eater before, but even just smelling the raw beef had your mouth watering. You shiver, pushing those kind of thoughts out of your mind. 

You notice a huge display of strawberries, your favorite fruit, juicy and red, abundant in the spring season, so you grab some for Jungkook to try.

Maybe you should take him to a strawberry farm! The idea of Jungkook curiously roaming around a field of the red fruit, carefully choosing the ripest berries, makes you smile. You’ve noticed just how gentle Jungkook acts despite his massive size.

You add ‘strawberry picking,’ to the mental list of things you want Jungkook to experience. ‘Oh, Jungkook.’ You wanted to let him rest, give him some space since the only time you’ve been apart from each other is when you went in to work, but you’re starting to miss him already. How silly, you think.

While in your thoughts you hadn’t noticed the man next to you, but you smelled him, a familiar scent...if you didn’t know better you might have mistaken that smell for your stubborn boyfriend.

As though he recognized the moment you finally noticed his presence, he cleared this throat, “Excuse me, can you help me?”

You turn around, catching light brown eyes. The stranger offers you a large bright smile, it makes you feel safe...warm.

With his sharp jaw, high cheekbones, and long brown hair, he is very handsome, intimidatingly so. “O-Oh, what did you need help with?” You look over to the basket he is carrying, filled with alcohol. 

“Well,” he laughs shyly, “I’m new to the area, looking for some place to take my brothers, do you know any good nightclubs around here?”

“Oh, I just moved here too,” you smile, “There is a University close by! I bet there are clubs and bars around there.” You pull out your phone and open your navigation app, searching for the University. The man moves closer, looking over your shoulder while you toggle the map to magnify the area.

You glance to your side, where the man peers over your shoulder, eyes concentrating on your phone. His presence feels familiar and you can’t help but think of Jungkook.

This man reminds you of Jungkook. It’s a crazy thought. A scary thought.

His eyes dart up quick to meet yours, so fast you almost flinch, feeling embarrassed you were caught staring. But he just smiles wide, crescent eyes shining.

You quickly navigate your phone, pushing those ridiculous thoughts away, it has been months already and nothing has happened.

“Oh here, there’s a street full of bars. This one club has four and a half stars. He tilts his head closer to you, hair brushing along your cheekbone. Too close. You step to the side, closer to the strawberries, mindlessly running your fingers along the cases and picking out another box out of nervousness.

“Can you text me that address?” he asks, “If you don’t mind!” he adds quickly.

“Oh? Okay.” You fumble with your cell, “Yeah, sure.”

“You smell nice, what is that scent?” His fingertips graze the edges of your hair making you tilt your head away.

“Um, coconut, maybe?” you laugh nervously.

“Coconut? I will have to try that,” he smiles.

His phone dings after he finishes typing his number in, an old flip phone style you haven’t seen in years. The loose sleeveless shirt he wore left his lean muscles out on display. He catches you staring, smiling, “Well, nice meeting you, um…” he waits patiently for you to finish his sentence.

“Y/n.” you smile awkwardly.

“Hoseok. Maybe we’ll see each other around then? I will introduce you to my brothers.” He gives you a bright smile, tongue in between his teeth.

“Yeah, maybe.” You smile politely.

You steered your cart to check out, looking over your shoulder one last time, curiosity getting the better of you, watching him saunter away, alcohol and berries now in his cart.

Wait.

Why do you have only have one case?

---

As you unload your bags of groceries on the kitchen counter a sleepy Jungkook presses himself to your back, “Where did you go?”

“To get dinner. I thought we could make something from scratch,” you muse, “pasta with meat sauce?”

You turn and your smile slowly drops at Jungkook’s expression. “Jungkook....”

His grip around your waist tightens as his head lowers to your shoulder.

“It hurts,” you wince, pulling away.

“Why do you smell like that? Where did you go?!”

“Just to the store! That’s all,” you say, confused.

“Did you meet someone?!” He yanks your shirt closer, stretching the fabric.

“No! I mean, y-yes, there was-” 

“You let him touch you!?”

He looks furious, his chest rising and falling rapidly, anger radiating off of him. Jungkook could smell his scent running along the column of your neck. It made him see red.

“No!” you yell. “He wanted my help-”

Jungkook groans, turning away. He makes sure the front door is locked out of habit, even though a small lock wouldn’t truly stop them from entering. He runs to the window, using his senses to search for the same scent on you.

Had you been followed? Jungkook was sure of it, they knew exactly where you were and that you were alone. How long have they known?

“Jungkook, what’s happening?”

They're here.

“His name was Hoseok,” Jungkook says solemnly, looking over his shoulder to you.

“Y-Yes,” you swallow. “He said he was looking for a bar for his...brothers. But he was n-nice! Fuck, I should have kno–he even reminded me of you.”

“I’M NOT LIKE HIM.”

Your heart drops to the pit of your stomach in that moment, chest hurting from the weight of his words. “Just take a deep breathe, before something happens-”

“BEFORE WHAT HAPPENS?” Jungkook roars, “Before I turn into a monster?!”

You shake your head no, your hands reaching on either side of his face. You could feel his body shaking in anger against your palms. “No, I did not mean it that way, you’re not like them, Jungkook, you’re not.”

You rest your forehead against his until his breathing calms down. You did not know how to explain all the reasons why you loved him, and simply said, “I love you.”

His mood changes, leaning into your palm. “I’m sorry, I can’t stand it, the thought of any of them touching you...hurting you...” he takes in a shaky inhale, “I love you too.”

-🌖-

“Touch right there,” you point, taking a deep breath, “and it will call him.” You hand Jungkook your phone. “Ready?”

He nods and you hold hands while the line rings three times. A taunting voice you don’t recognize answers.

“Am I speaking to y/n…or Jungkook?”

“Stop, whatever you are planning, stop it. I’m warning you,” Jungkook growls.

“You know we can’t do that. Where ever you go, we’ll be there. We’re family, aren’t we? You can’t leave family behind.” The voice laughs and Jungkook grinds his teeth.

“He doesn’t want to live with you anymore, can’t you see that?” you interject.

“Doesn’t want to? We all do things we don’t want to. Do you think I want to be in this infested town? Entertaining the likes of you?” The voice’s sweet mocking tone turns dark and threatening so quickly it makes the bile in your stomach rise.

“Jimin, don’t speak to her like that!”

“Ooh, I’ve never seen our Jungkook so possessive,” another deeper voice speaks up.

“Over a human,” another one scoffs quietly in the background.

“He always had a soft spot for them.”

“But does she know, what he’s done to her kind?”

“Did you tell her, Jungkookie?”

There were too many voices, all speaking one after the other, until silence left everyone including you waiting for his answer.

You spoke up instead when Jungkook could no longer keep his eyes locked with yours, looking down shamefully. “Whatever he’s done in the past, it doesn't matter! Especially when it’s been under your influence!”

The group’s mocking laughter rings through your phone’s speaker. “What a loyal pet.”

It was another voice, one that hadn't spoken yet, one you recognize, one that haunted your nightmares still.

The man in the fur coat, the one who attacked you, spoke last. Everyone else stopped talking, showing respect to their leader.

“How are you feeling, by the way? It was a full moon last night, wasn’t it?” he says in a chilling mocking tone.

He tuts, “What are you going to do, Jungkook? You’re lost without us. You’re nothing. Acting like a human, it’s pathetic. Even she’s stronger than you now-”

“That’s not true.” you grit. 

“Pet, you know it is my blood inside you, not Jungkook’s. I’m inside you,” he laughs. You hang up, not wanting to hear anymore.

“They know where we live,” Jungkook says solemnly.

“It’s okay, we have all the things Miss Manyo gave us. They will work,” you reassure Jungkook. “You’ve gotten stronger too,” you whisper encouragingly, “They don’t know about that...”

-

“Is there a way to protect my home too?” you ask, desperately hoping for good news.

“You’ve already let a beast inside,” Miss Manyo says thoughtfully. “We would need another kind of spell-”

“He’s not!” you yell.

“He? Huh? I was talking about you, dear,” she says softly.

“Oh, I was not–”

“You have a beast inside you. It will have to be a different spell, I will have to search for one,” she sighs. “It will cost extra,” she says cheekily, trying to lighten the mood.

“I see…” you whisper, embarrassed you misunderstood her.

“You said ‘he,’ before, he’s there with you now, yes? The hmm wolf boy you found.”

“Yes,” you swallow.

“Okay, that will make things difficult, but not impossible! Here, I'm going to give you a list of items to ward off those pesky wolves while I see what I can do, just warn your friend to keep his distance, you might feel the affects as well because of your...condition, write these down...ready?”

Suddenly, your exasperated expression turns into one of excitement. You jump up from the couch, looking for a paper and pen. “Yes yes! Okay.” You scribble down a list of items while Jungkook looks over your shoulder.

“I used to vacation in the summer at that cabin when I was a little girl” she says wistfully, “I’m all too familiar with the legends of those woods,” she sighs. “That spell was cast long ago, but I might be able to recreate it...I can’t make any promises,” she warns wearily, “but I will try my best. The wards cast are old and powerful. Unlike things in this world, magic only gets stronger with age...like me,” she laughs.

“Thank you!”

---

“Jungkook, you have to let me go to work, if they were going to attack me like that, don’t you think they would have done it by now?”

The poor shapeshifter had made you late to work for the third time this week.

“They showed themselves, its only a matter of time before they try to hurt you! Please, take one of your ‘sickness days’, or let me come with you again! I will hide better!”

You sigh. You and Jungkook couldn’t live in fear for the rest of your life. You won’t!

“Or-” Your eyes widen, excitedly. “We could catch them first! We have everything we need now. Jungkook...are they the type to make a scene?”

-

“Oh my! Well well, so this is what they look like without all the fur.”

Miss Manyo circles Jungkook, enthralled. “You definitely have taken my advice on strengthening your human form,” she pinches a shell-shocked Jungkook’s cheek. “Right? Hasn’t he?” she whispers in your direction.

“Well, yes,” you tilt your head thinking, “but he has always looked like that.”

“Dear, I completely understand you now.”

“Heh heh, t-that’s not why-Oh! Are those-”

You notice two necklaces in her hands. “This one,” she holds up the silver chain with a green gem attached, “will protect the space as long as the wearer is inside, it was the best I could do at such short notice, sorry dear.” You nod. Right now you were happy for anything. Holding the silver necklace doesn’t hurt, only tickles your skin, but you can imagine how it might get uncomfortable the longer you wear it.

You’ll endure.

“What is the other necklace for?”

“This one,” she holds up a gold necklace with a red gem attached. “Is for him! That is, if he wants it,” she smiles.

“For me?” Jungkook’s eyes go wide in surprise and Miss Manyo sighs wistfully, completely enamored.

“Err what does it do?” you ask.

The old witch laughs quite deviously.

-🌗-

“This is beautiful,” you sigh, “Don’t you think?” You and Jungkook walk down the street after eating lunch at a new café. There is an entire block spanning with flower stand after flower stand of all colors. “Should we get some?”

“What do you do with them?”

“You look at them, I guess?” you laugh.

“But they are cut,” he flops the bouquet upside down, and thin tiny petals go flying, “They are going to die.” you send an apologetic look to the seller, pulling out your wallet to pay for the bouquet. Jungkook holds a bouquet up to his nose...and sneezes.

“Well, yeah, but we’re all going to die eventually, aren’t we? What’s important is appreciating the beauty of the moment,” you smile, hugging his side, grabbing the beautiful bouquet and admiring the flowers, “like being here with you.”

Jungkook kisses your cheek softly. “Next time can we get a bouquet with roots?”

You laugh, “Yes, definitely.”

-

“Not in public, Jungkook,” you shoo Jungkook away. Your boyfriend has become very touchy as of late. You did not think it was even possible for Jungkook, who always found a way to wrap himself around you.

You did not mind, but having his hands all over you while waiting in line for dessert pastries might be ruining the appetites of those around you! You laugh, moving away embarrassed. Jungkook kisses you one last time, standing stoic with his arm over your shoulder.

You couldn’t help but feel proud to have such a doting boyfriend, someone as kind and protective as him. It was you, who cuddled into his embrace this time, too happy to have him in your life.

By the time you chose your pastries, a strawberry cheesecake petit gateau for you and a meat and cheese croissant for Jungkook, it started to rain.

The sun was still shinning despite the rain, and instead of running for cover, Jungkook grabbed your hand and led you to a place you passed by on you search for the café.

“W-Where are we going?” you ask confusedly.

“I want to show you something! It only happens when it rains,” he says excitedly.

So you follow Jungkook in the rain, without an umbrella, without a second thought.

“When it rained like this, I would go to the lake in the woods, and watch the raindrops jump back up, look look!” he smiles, looking at the small pond, admiring the rain hitting the surface.

“It was calming,” he sighs, smiling to himself, unbothered by the raindrops falling down onto his clothes. “The others would sit with me and watch sometimes. We wouldn’t talk, just listen to the rain...drink...be happy...” he says smiling.

“Do you miss them?”

Jungkook stays quiet for a very long time. You sit next to him, throwing your head back and letting the raindrops sprinkle your face for the first time since you were a child. You listened to the rain, the steady pattern was soothing, Jungkook was right.

Jungkook thinks about the rare moments where he would play with the pack, laughing.

“No.” Those moments were nothing compared to every day sacrificing his humanity to please the pack, to make his leader happy.

Jungkook did not want to go back into the woods.

Jungkook wanted to live with you.

He wanted to be a better man. He wanted to be a man.

You notice Jungkook’s somber shift in mood. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have mentioned them.” You push the wet strands of hair out of Jungkook’s eyes.

“It’s okay, I’m happy, this is more fun. This is what I wanted,” he smiles, kissing your worries away.

Maybe it was because he always did it to you, or maybe you wanted him closer; you buried your head against the crook of his neck, holding him tightly, kissing the rain off his neck.

Jungkook closes his eyes, listens to the water and your steady heartbeat. A slow warmth starts in his throat, spreading down to his chest, vibrating in pit of his stomach. He loved every touch, caress, and kiss you gave him, but this...made him wild.

The rain showers down harder, clouds covering the sun. The plastic bag that held your pastry box was safe from the rain, your clothes however, were not spared. The spring dress you wore clung to all your curves, garnering all of Jungkook’s attention.

He picks you up abruptly, surprising you, arms wrapped under your thighs, pushing your short dress even higher up your widened thighs.

Your lips find his mouth, tasting his soft wet lips, and he deepens the kiss until you were breathless.

The rain tickles your exposed skin.

Jungkook held you like you weighed nothing, energized by his desperate need for you. He licked into your mouth, tongue pressing over yours in a performance of passion and dominance that left you panting and jittery with adrenaline and lust.

“Let’s go home,” you offer, wanting more.

“Why? No one is around.”

That was true, the rain was strong enough now that no one else dared to stay outside.

You pant, his growing hardness pressing between your legs affecting you more and more.

You give in. “O-Over there,” you look over to the treeline which would provide you with a little more cover from the rain and intruding eyes.

Jungkook looks around, the tiny park is empty and he can’t wait. He wants to take you here, out in the open.

The embarkment was perfect to lie your body against, pound you into the earth. Oh he wants to, desires so badly to claim you, lie your body on the grass and fuck you full of his cum.

You wiggle in his embrace until he drops you. You try to concentrate while his arms go under your dress, yanking you possessively closer. “Let’s go over t-there,” you moan as he fervently kisses your neck, sucking your soft skin and marking it.

“Oh f-fuck...w-wait!” You grab his cheeks, pushing his head away, so you can steady yourself.

There was an animalistic need in his eyes that made your body tingle all over. “Y/n, please,” he begs as he tries to nip at your lips again. His please was such a desperate low pleading murmur you felt your body surge.

“Catch me,” you kiss his lips playfully, before turning and running towards the treeline.

You bounced away, dress clinging thin to your assets. Jungkook felt his dick swell, an urge overtaking his body at the thought of capturing you in his arms, like an itch he always wanted to scratch, a filthy desire to claim you in the most animalistic way. Jungkook never gave in to that side of him, but his desires were too strong, his composure strung too thin, snapping all of his restraints.

He let you have what you wanted, a chase to a more secluded location, because he got to have what he wanted, you.

So sweet and soft you felt, your pretty voice whimpering such lewdness when he caught you, lifting you up in his arms. He held you against a tree, your legs back around his torso, and your inviting wet pussy stretching over his cock.

Jungkook did not hold back, ravaging your body, and you, too filled with pleasure did not mind his passionate digging touches. You grip the muscles of his back, adrenaline pumping through your veins, gasping into his mouth for more.

You'll take Jungkook in his sweet boyish charm and wild passion, you want all of him, just as he is.

-🌖-

“You look...”

“Yes?” you twirl in your light purple tulle dress.

“...cold,” Jungkook bites his lip, blushing.

“What!” you laugh. You admit the tulle skirt is cut in a way that shows off most of your legs, but this spring has been so hot!

“People will see,” Jungkook pouts.

“See what?”

“Your body,” he says. He hugs you close, gliding his mouth over every exposed bit of skin he sees.

“You’re the only eyes I care about,” you whisper breathlessly, unable to hide the way his ministrations affects you.

“Let’s stay home,” he says smirking wickedly, affected by your growing arousal.

“No!” you laugh. “C’mon,” you say, pushing your handsy boyfriend towards the door, “It’s tonight, we have to stop acting like prey and start acting like...monster hunters!” you wink, pulling on your white lacy gloves, picking up an array of silver utensils and pocketing them in your purse, the far cheaper option to the old century silver daggers Miss Manyo suggested.

---

“Do you want to dance?”

Jungkook grabs your waist, yanking you to his side, practically growling under his breath.

The stranger holds up his hands in surrender, “Sorry, sorry,” moving quickly away.

You sigh, wrapping your arms around you jealous partner’s neck. “Do you want to dance?” you ask Jungkook. “Do you smell them here?” you whisper.

Jungkook could barely think with the music so loud. He currently smelled a lot of things, unpleasant things at that; the rancid smell of alcohol everywhere, body order, vomit. He hated this part of the hunt his brothers would engage in. It was so hard to concentrate when there were so many loud noises and flashing lights. But he thinks, he feels, they are here, somewhere.

“How am I supposed to concentrate now?” he murmurs against your hair. You roll your hips into him again, laughing.

“Dance with me, ” you give him a teasing look and pull him on the dance floor. “You’re so stiff, relax!” you smile, pressing your body close to his “C’mon, we can’t be afraid,” you tease. You pull Jungkook to you, guiding his body with yours, until he breaks into a small smile.

You tried your best to relax him, letting Jungkook spin you and pull you back into his embrace, keeping your own worries to yourself.

You peered over his shoulder as you danced together, watchful, scrutinizing each dark corner, each sharp noise, ready.

“They’re here.” Jungkook whispers. You nod against his chest, scanning the dance floor.

You felt eyes watching you.

It felt like the forest all over again, except this time, dancing bodies instead of trees stood as obstacles between you and the beasts, and this time, you were not going to run away.

Instead, you held Jungkook’s hand and moved your way through the crowd where you were sure you saw a glimpse of those eyes that haunted your dreams.

“Looks like we meet again, y/n.” Hoseok walks right into your path, knocking into you. You stumble back into Jungkook.

Hoseok only moves closer, sandwiching you between them on the crowded dance floor. “Yes, that’s how it looks,” you swallow.

Hoseok sends you a deceptive smile. “Calm down Jungkook, enjoy the night,” Hoseok warns, looking to the man behind you.

Jungkook can smell them, see their movements out of the corners of his eyes. Three other bodies move closer, his brothers moving in at all angles.

You felt it too, looking over your shoulder just in time to see two men knock into Jungkook on both sides, hands yanking him back. Hoseok moves too, finding your abandoned wrists and pulling you into a dance.

“You, I can see being foolish enough to come here and challenge us, but how did you convince our Jungkook?”

Hoseok expected you to be emanating fear, but you were calm and collected. Jungkook, usually impulsive and tempered, was holding back as well. Well, as best he could, his anger on the brink of exploding.

“What makes you think that? We just felt like dancing.”

“Ahh, and the fact that this is the place you suggested means nothing?”

“Have you been coming here every night waiting for us like a dog waiting for its master? Sounds miserable,” you jab.

“Oh, it wasn’t so bad,” Hoseok mimics your detached attitude rather than taking the bait. “This is the best bar in town, so many young men and women here, all just so eager and willing, they don’t even put up a fight,” his arms wrap around you suffocatingly tight.

Jimin yanks Jungkook’s shoulder back as he tries to move towards you. There's a rumble in Jungkook’s chest, a swirling pit of rage and jealousy watching Hoseok's hands travel over your dress, disappearing under your tulle skirt to lay his hands on your skin.

“Don’t do it, or it will only get worse for her,” Namjoon warns, pressed against Jungkook's other side, surveying the dancing crowd.

Hoseok drops his head down, smelling your neck. “But you, you have something up your sleeves, don’t you? Please tell me you do, we’ve all been aching for another fight.”

“So you can lose again?”

Hoseok laughs against your skin. You’re covered in Jungkook’s scent, Jungkook had made sure of that every night and every morning, but your perspiration from the heat of the club let your own smell come through just enough for Hoseok’s liking. Hoseok took the opportunity to lick your neck, tasting your sweat on his tongue.

You shudder in his embrace, this felt wrong and menacing and nothing like Jungkook's sweet acts of scenting you. “There’s only four of you tonight? Where are the others?” ‘Where is that man who wore the fur coat?’ you think.

“Oh, they are here, enjoying the show,” Hoseok smirks.

“Take me to him then, the one who did this,” you nod down to your shoulder, where the smallest tiniest scar still remains of your bite.

Hoseok laughs, hands roaming your body again. “To our Seokjin? Sure, I owe you an introduction, right? Just one last thing-”

You tried to catch Jungkook's eyes as Hoseok traps you in his embrace, kissing you. You saw him, three men surrounding him and another moving suspiciously closer. You trusted that he could handle himself, even with such unfair numbers, just as you hoped he trusted you as well and did not lash out in anger.

Jungkook’s blood boiled. It was the angriest the pack had ever seen him. Jungkook cracks his knuckles as he watches Hoseok continue to do as he please, moving you further and further away from him. “Hey,” A voice speaks out to him from behind. “Why are you wearing gloves?” Taehyung asks.

Jungkook moves like lightning; like a bolt of energy trapped in glass, ricocheting off in every angle, that was how the furious shapeshifter behaved.

Luckily, his pack mates made themselves conveniently close. Close enough for Jungkook to hit them in the face with a small purple enchanted flower, a bag of poisonous wolfsbane holding a confusion spell from his admiring new witch friend.

Yoongi, who was close by, stepped back, but Jungkook who had been training his human body all this time, was now just too strong and fast for him.

-

You finally manage to shove Hoseok off of you as he pushes you into a corner. You fall against the velvet seating, your shoulder knocking into the one you had been looking for.

Seokjin isn't wearing a fur coat anymore, he’s in a white suite, jacket opened and shirt barely buttoned, showing off his strong wide build.

The crowd of dancing bodies and loud music provided them with the perfect cover, or perhaps everyone was too drunk and apathetic to care about their violent movements.

“I could kill you right now.” Seokjin says, fingers wrapped around your neck. “Remember when I told you, you would beg me for death?” He studies your features up close, smiling at your struggle.

Your fingers dig into his forearm as you try to inhale fruitlessly. He brings you closer to him, your face merely inches away from him, “Interesting.”

Seokjin could see the cool blue club lights reflected back into your eyes, but even under the lightning he could see a familiar shade of red in your irises. His ego believed it was because of him, you were now part him after all.

Hoseok cranes his neck over the crowd, “Something is wrong.” He turns to leave, nodding for approval from Seokjin who nods back.

You smirk despite being seconds away from unconsciousness.

Seokjin is intrigued. He abruptly lets go and you gasp in air, coughing, rubbing your neck. “You’ve missed one small tiny detail in your plan, pet.”

“Yeah?” you cough.

Seokjin grabs your chin painfully tight, turning your head to the exact spot Jungkook was. He looked determined, weaving through the crowd to get to the pair of you.

“You wanted to get me alone, but what if that was what I also wanted, to finally have you all to myself?”

You swallow, looking out of the corner of your eye to look one last time at Jungkook.

“Oh, he’s so close.” Seokjin’s arm snake around your waist, holding you tight. “Right there,” he taunts.

The pulsing bass felt like a ticking clock, you felt it hit you with each beat, like a row of dominoes, toppling over, closer and closer to destroying everything. And Jungkook was on the path to destruction.

Or was he?

Seokjin watches the youngest pack member disappear back into the crowd.

“I have a confession,” you look over your shoulder. Seokjin still sees red, a burning confidence in your gaze, “You’re not that scary in your human form to be honest.”

“Is that right?” Seokjin smirks, his arm now digging into your side painfully. “Our kind do have a certain look to us in this form that makes it easier to lure in prey.” He leans close to your ear, keeping his eyes on the crowd. “But I’ll tell you a secret too...I know you visited our little witch friend,” he says smiling.

“Afraid then?” you whisper.

Seokjin laughs, “Oh I like this version of you.” He grabs the hand that held your wristlet, making sure you could not pull out what was in your purse. “You should be thanking me, don’t you think? I could teach you, just like I taught Jungkook, how to make the most of your...situation. Just pledge the rest of your life to me and I’ll be willing to spare it, how does that sound?”

But the confident woman you are now was not because of him, nor this courageousness you felt. The strength you felt inside of you was reinforced not by pain or fear, it was all love, it was all Jungkook.

You might have melted down Jungkook’s walls when you were stuck together for the winter, but Jungkook warmed your broken heart, made you feel cherished and loved again.

Jungkook was the reason you fought so hard, was the reason you nurtured this new side of you. Every time you let her in, you thought of Jungkook, and you felt safe...

-🌑-

“There’s legends that talk about what happened to you, but who really knows what is fact or fiction.” She shakes her head, “I only know the spells passed down from my family and my coven.”

“So there is nothing I can do to control it?” you ask, disheartened.

“Well now I didn’t say that...”

-

Jungkook sits still as he watches your resting figure on the ground. He pulls out slivers of grass nervously while he waits.

Miss Manyo stirs some old dried red flower petals in a large jar of water, reciting an incantation.

“What’s that?” Jungkook blinks, smelling the strong fragrance from his distance. You wanted to open your eyes, but she was insistent you keep them closed.

“Moon water from the last blood moon.”

“What are you going to do with it?”

“You ask a lot of questions, dear. You’re lucky you’re cute,” she teases. “I'm going to do this,” and Miss Manyo throws the entire contents of the water jar in your face.

“What the hell?!” You sit up, coughing out water, but you don’t see Miss Manyo anymore, or Jungkook. You don’t see anyone, because you’re not lying in green grass anymore. Your face and hair is no longer wet, but there's a chill in the air. The warmth of spring is gone, and so are you.

This familiar place is freezing, and yet when your finger tips drag along the winter snow on the ground, you aren’t cold. You breathe out a puff of smoke.

A twig cracks.

And the wind howls.

What are you suppose to do? Why did she bring you back here?

You stand up. Everything is quiet and snow falls steadily around you.

It's too quiet, the hairs on the back of you neck stand up, so you hurriedly stand up.

Another branch breaks.

You turn around suddenly, moving before you even realized what you were doing.

You see it, so far away yet so recognizable against the winter white.

And for those few moments, it feels like time stops still.

You have to make a choice.

You decide to run.

And the dark wolf, sensing your decision too, sprints forward, its paws kicking up white dust.

You take a hurried step backward.

Solid footing, to push you forward.

---

“Never,” you grit out. “I came here for answers. What did you do to me?!” You try to yank your arm out of Seokjin's grasp with all your might, yet you barely move in his grasp. “What has been happening to me?”

Seokjin thinks for a moment, looking away from you to look over the crowd again, like he’s buying time, but time’s up, you’ve bought it all up.

Screams of terror fill the club, there’s a crash, and another, and another.

A roar louder than the bass boosted music, louder than the screams and noises of the club, louder than anything you’ve ever heard erupts.

And a huge wolf appears from the crowd with a struggling man in its mouth.

“Sorry, Jungkook told me how you hated making a scene,” you smirk. You try to pull away from Seokjin, but he's stronger, lifting you off your feet as the crowd panics.

A group of drinkers knock into you both as they hurriedly try to get away from the enormous beast. You and the furious pack leader fall to the ground and it distracts Seokjin just enough...

You jump to your feet, quickly opening your purse before Seokjin reaches for you again. His nails dig into your scalp as you try to get away, pulling you back by the hair.

“Do you know what you have done? You have endangered us all,” Seokjin sneers, yanking you back harder.

“If you stay human, you’ll be fine,” you mock, “that is, if Jungkook doesn’t get to you first.” In that moment Jungkook whips his head, growling, throwing a bleeding Hoseok into the air.

You scream, “JUNGKOOK,” before Seokjin covers your mouth. Jungkook in his wolf form pounces over tables and bar stools to get to you.

Seokjin recoils his hands away, yelling in pain.

“Is that a...spoon?” he balks.

“Yep,” you hold it up happily. You throw it at his head, pushing through the escaping crowd. Seokjin chases right after you.

With every knock against your shoulder, you have to reorient yourself, losing precious distance. You see flashes of white moving closer and closer, Seokjin shoving to the ground anyone who dares to run into him.

“Jungkook!” you scream, running towards the farthest exit instead, where terrified drinkers disperse as Jungkook’s large wolf body course corrects. “Jungkoo-”

“Y/n!” Jungkook crashes into you, pulling you through the exit doors.

“Hold on!” you stumble, “I can’t run like this,” you pant, pulling off your heels.

“I told you to wear boots!” Jungkook and you start running again.

“I would have looked silly! No one wears hiking boots to a club, they would have noticed too,” you try to yell as you run. “This way!” You and Jungkook run towards the university. There’s tons of students around this area, they wouldn’t-

One shrill scream makes you turn your head, only to catch three large wolves barreling down the sidewalk.

“How long was that spell supposed to last?”

“I don’t know! I have more-”

“Your should have thrown the whole bag at them-”

Jungkook looks behind him. The wolves are catching up fast. “Should I-”

“No! Don’t transform. Follow me!”

There’s a park by the university, a pretty spacious piece of green land sandwiched between high-rises, with a few trails that veer off the lighted pathway, making a perfect hideaway.

“Go!” Jungkook tells you to hide.

“No, you go-”

“I stay. We have to keep our distance, I’ll find you,” Jungkook pulls you into a crushing kiss, and you relent, sprinting away.

Seokjin said he wanted you all to himself, but that was a lie. No, the pack leader doesn’t want you apart, he wants you and Jungkook together, so Jungkook has to watch, so you hold back.

-🌑-

And Miss Manyo throws the entire contents of the water jar in your face.

You sit up, gasping for breath, coughing up water.

“You did it.”

“No dear, you did. though you’ll still have to pay me,” she winks.

“Y/n?” Jungkook holds your hand, gripping it tightly to ground you.

You wipe the water off your face. Jungkook catches your eyes, holding your face to make sure he saw correctly-

You smile, falling into his arms.

---

“There you are.”

You catch your breath, leaning against a tree. “And who are you?”

An auburn haired man you noticed was one of the men holding back Jungkook steps out of the shadows. His body was beaten up, his hair wild, cuts and scratches across his face.

“Jungkook really beat you up.”

“You’re quite the nuisance,” he licks his lips, red eyes glowing in the moonlight.

You caught another pair of red eyes from a silver haired man, moving languidly in the shadows, his eyes glowing in the blackness of the night. One more, there should be at least one more, you think.

You expected it to be Seokjin, the leader, but you see blonde hair instead, frowning. It’s okay, it doesn’t matter, you have faith that Jungkook can handle himself.

“You don’t have to do this, you don’t have to follow Seokjin.” You push off the tree’s trunk, moving into the open space. The group encircles you.

“But we want to see for ourselves what makes our Jungkook so-”

“-Possessive.”

“-Why is he keeping you?”

“-Why won’t he share?”

“-Show us that trick of yours.”

“-What makes you so special?”

They spoke together, dizzying you with words.

It was easy for a woman in this situation to fall victim to men, but you had the kind of power that made them hesitate, waiting for you to move first.

“Haven’t you ever felt someone love you?”

Met with silence you can only softly laugh. “I guess not...that makes me sad for you. If you survive tonight, you should try...”

The trio stares daggers into you, red eyes glowing, their menacing presence piercing through you.

You heave a low sigh, looking up towards the waning moon, thinking of Jungkook.

You guess now, you looked the same kind of menacing, though you did not feel it.

Under the moonlight you just felt...

Serene.

And ready.

---

You watch Jungkook curl weights in your living room, your laundry only half folded, his heavy grunting and muscles flexing proving to be too much of a welcome distraction. He has taken the witch’s advice wholeheartedly, training his already strong body.

“Can you help me?” he asks, wiping off his face with a towel.

You blink, “Y-Yeah, what did you want me to...”

Jungkook lays on his stomach, “Come here,” he says as he moves in a push up position. “Now concentrate,” he laughs as you settle over him, your arms holding tightly around his chest. “You’re already being...distracting,” he grunts, smiling.

You can’t help but giggle, impressed by his effortless pace. You were having too much fun, cuddling against Jungkook’s muscular back as he lifted himself and you up and down.

“Do you think that, um, after we do this,” Jungkook grunts, “after we stop them, you think Miss Manyo will be able to turn me into a human?” Jungkook asks you.

“Oh, I-I don’t know, I can ask her if there is a spell like that?” you hesitate. “Is that what you really want?”

Jungkook lifts you up and back down, “Yes.”

You hum, “Jungkook...You don’t have to change yourself, I love you just how you are.”

Jungkook stays silent, his mind already made up. Up and down you go. “Okay, if it makes you happy, I just want you to believe in yourself, I believe in you.”

“I love you.” He grunts, moving faster and you giggle, hugging him close.

---

Jungkook can no longer see you or hear you. Good, you’re far away now. He transforms.

Three wolves find him. Hoseok, whose human form took the worst of Jungkook’s attack, growls louder, his wolf form bleeding profusely, staining the grass underneath his paws red.

Their leader is fuming, barking and spitting, ready to show the youngest why the others bow their heads to him instead, why no one challenges him, what a lovesick fool the youngest was being. Even on that fateful night, if you hadn't interfered, Jungkook would have been beaten, broken, had submitted as he should.

And tonight, you’re not going to interfere this time.

He sent Namjoon and Yoongi to deal with you. The oldest and stronger members of the pack. He would have sent Hoseok, but due to his injury the second youngest, Taehyung volunteered. With still two more nights before the full moon, Seokjin was confident those three could handle you.

The leader barks obscenities, ‘Foolish traitor.’ Lunging forward, his teeth sinking into Jungkook’s body as he starts his attack. Jungkook bites back, and Hoseok and Jimin attack, the loyal wolves tearing into his body. Jungkook whips his head around, catching Jimin’s nape, flinging the wolf away, using the advantage of his massive size.

It was a test of not only strength, but endurance. How much pain could Jungkook endure, how many attacks could his body withstand. It was vicious how they bombarded Jungkook with attack after attack, showed him no mercy for his betrayal.

Hoseok fell first, his injuries overtaking him. Jimin fell next, and it was only the leader and Jungkook left standing, their fur soaked in blood. Most of it Jungkook’s blood.

Jungkook transformed back into a human, panting, doubled over and still on all fours, fallen to his knees. “Give up, this is your last chance,” he pants, weak and tired, issuing a very unconvincing threat.

The beast bares his teeth, stalking closer.

The beast’s mouth unhinges.

Jungkook digs his hands into the ground, grinding his teeth, pain overwhelming him.

Seokjin aims his fangs at Jungkook’s head.

Finding what he dropped earlier, Jungkook pulls out a small silver instrument from the earth. It was not sharp, it was not deadly. It was a tool humans used not for killing or even hunting.

Jungkook stabs the prongs of a tiny silver fork right into the roof his leader’s open mouth.

And then takes a butter knife, stabbing the beast’s open wound.

Seokjin howls.

Taking the opportunity, Jungkook runs to find you, abandoning his wounded leader.

---

You run, searching for Jungkook. You could smell him close, your senses so heightened you could smell his scent mixed with a revoltingly overwhelming amount of blood. You ran faster, tracking his scent, worried for him, clawing through branch and even through trunks until you crashed into a body.

Fingers wrapped around your throat, blood dripping over his hands and onto your neck. “Now, you die,” Seokjin says. He looks delirious, maddened.

You nails pierce into the leader’s forearms as you growl back.

Seokjin roars, taking the knife still lodged in his shoulder, yanking it out. The handle burns his palm, but he doesn’t let go, too full of rage to care, pressing it against your chest, using all his weight.

You’re stronger.

You knock him backward, pouncing on him instead.

“Have you ever killed anyone, pet?” he grunts, wheezing in laughter. “But Jungkook on the other hand, he could tell you all about that.”

“Stop, you’ve lost, give up.”

“Kill me now because I’ll never stop,” he hisses. “but you’re making a mistake. Do you enjoy your life locked up in that building? To go work in a different building, aren’t you bored? Doesn’t it feel suffocating? You could roam the world with us, powerful, unstoppable.” Seokjin looks up at you smirking. Plus, where you went, Jungkook would follow, he was certain of that.

Seokjin is right, and he’ll never stop. You lessen your hold on the leader, leaning away. “Y/n, get away from him!” You look up, seeing Jungkook run towards you.

“I’m sorry, Jungkook.”

Seokjin smiles wickedly at Jungkook, sitting up with you in his lap. “I’m sorry,” you repeat. Jungkook will forgive you.

It was supposed to be for him.

“What did you put on me?”

You move away quickly as Seokjin struggles to pull the necklace off.

But the spell has already been cast, it can’t be removed. The red gem glows.

Jungkook rushes towards your side, helping you to your feet. “I’m sorry, I know you wanted the necklace for yourself.”

---

“What does it do?” you ask.

The old witch laughs quite deviously. “It gives the wearer the ability to trap his beast. It’s what you wanted, right dear?”

---

Seokjin stands up, wincing in pain, his legs weak and stiff. He yanks on the gold chain, inspecting the gem.

“What did you do?!” Two red eyes look back at him in the swirling gem, an echo of a howl resounds in Seokjin’s soul. “You think this will hold me forever!?” he growls in disbelief.

“You better learn how to defend yourself in your human form, Seokjin,” Jungkook says, leaning against you for support.

“Or do you believe your brothers will still obey a weak human?” you say, holding tightly onto Jungkook.

Barking at his back, five beaten and broken beasts pace around. Seokjin couldn’t understand them, gritting his teeth, searching for power he did not possess anymore.

They were without a leader, they were hurt, and they were angry he led them down this path.

Jungkook looks at the remaining wolves. “Does anyone still want to fight us?”

You hold hands, united, a stronger pack than they ever were.

-🌘-

Jungkook sneezes. You giggle. 

You and Jungkook are having a picnic, enjoying the park in the daytime together. He pounces on you, hugging you close, rolling across your picnic blanket.

“Is he going to stay there all day?” You tilt your head back, looking far, far...far into the distance, eyes zoning onto the very spot an inconspicuous (yet very conspicuous to yours and Jungkook’s senses) human man hides behind a tree’s trunk.

Seokjin peeks his head out, and noticing your attention in his direction, he quickly hides again.

“Probably?” Jungkook says, kissing your cheek. He nips at your neck, his full attention back onto you.

You look up at the sky, sighing softly. You could still see the large skyscrapers of the city still around you. You close your eyes, enjoying Jungkook’s sweet attention, smiling.

Seokjin was right about one thing, you did not feel like the city was for you anymore.

---

Let me know what you think, can you guess who leads the wolves now? :P What do you want to see in part three for summer?

[redfirerai]

It’s only been 5 episodes and the iwtv fandom is already a shithole.

First off, the fifth episode SHOULD have had a trigger warning; I agree on that fact. This is not to say that the writers poorly wrote this episode/ made Lestate OOC because, after having watched the episode, I honestly don’t find it surprising that show Lestat would do something like this. It makes sense; he only loved Claudia because Claudia is both loveable and an extension of Louis. Lestat has shown an incredibly large capacity for violence and cruelty. He is not a good person. He is not a hero and he only cares about being Louis’ top priority. But some of you are acting like it wasn’t jarring to watch. As much as I love Hannibal, this is an extremely different situation from the finale of season 2. Louis and Lestat were in a relationship. They were functionally MARRIED. They were never perfect, but this was never even hinted as happening. He’s not had any previous slips with harming Louis or Claudia so people have every right to be shocked.

Second of all, some of you people are acting like Louis and Lestat are equally abusive towards each other, and that is 100% false and reeks of racism. Every moment that Louis rejected or hurt Lestat was always in reaction to Lestat. He was recently human and his current disposition as a fledgling comes with all of his humanly attachments. He cares about his family. His brother died which permanently destroyed his relationship with his mother. His sister became alienated. He was being targeted from every angle for being a black, gay man who dared to move up the social ladder. It’s like half of you blanked out for most of episode two/three until you heard the words “this is why you’ll always be alone,” leave Louis’ mouth. At the very moment he needed humanity and support from the one person he was risking everything for, he was met with complete apathy to his struggles. Not only does Lestat completely misunderstand Louis’ core—the very foundation and set of rules that form his values—he want Louis in a way that is not possible. Louis is a monogamous man that craves family structure—louis is fundamentally a different creature. And that’s okay. That is the story and I’m fully on board to be entranced by its beauty and suffering. But getting mad on behalf of Lestat? Justifying literally any of his actions towards Louis is fucking insane. If he wasn’t conventionally attractive or white, this wouldn’t even be a topic of conversation. You can like him—I absolutely love TV show Lestat for being this unhinged, devoted, and brutal. But don’t fucking twist the canonical story of the TV show to justify the Lestat you head-cannoned in your brain. People do this; this is very real behaviour. Love-bombing and isolating is part of toxic relationships. Many abusers seem like perfectly loving people until things don’t go their way. Seeing only the sacrifices Lestat made for Louis is ignoring the time, context, and attachments Louis had to his human life. I am not saying Louis is an angel, but he definitely is not the abuser in the relationship

Lastly, Claudia’s implied SA is completely unnecessary to the story and her journey as a character. There was no need to do this to her; she could have arrived at the world being a cruel place without this.

On a side note, I don’t have qualms with her character writing but I do see what people are saying about how she didn’t need to see Louis being half beat to death to want to k*ll Lestat. That is probably the only criticism I agree with when it comes to the writing of that scene. I would have loved to see her and Lestat be at eachother’s throats because that was already implied. And Louis, as a father, is justified in choosing Claudia over Lestat, especially when there’s enough abuse already. Again, I don’t think the scene at the end of season 5 was bad/OOC per se, but I don’t think it was completely necessary.

[sktsmiyasimp]

Representation of Male Trauma in the Hunger Games: Gale

CW: general violence from canon events, abandonment issues

Ok so it turns out I actually cannot shut up about this series so here’s another post about the depiction of trauma in the male characters in THG.

Something I really love about the series is again how SC plays with gender. From their upbringing to their traumas to their coping mechanisms, a lot of the male characters suffer wounds we often see in female characters and vice versa, whether it’s abandonment, parental wounds, various types of abuse, and trauma from relying on poor coping skills. Given that these stereotypes don’t hold IRL, it makes these depictions even more important to see and analyze. I dove into Peeta’s childhood trauma in my last THG post, so for this series I think I’ll focus on Gale, Finnick, and Haymitch, but I am happy to make another Peeta post too :))

Gale’s Love, Loss, and Loneliness:

I like to rag on Gale for fun on tiktok since I was a diehard Peeta fan when I first read the series (11 year old me definitely wished I had my personal baker boy!). However, I do genuinely believe he’s a good character, and a lot of the slander he faces regarding his relationship with Katniss is a direct reflection of his trauma growing up. This post focuses on how his abandonment issues lead to a violent grasping of control.

We learn early on that Gale lost his father at 14 in the same explosion that killed Katniss’s father. Additionally, while Hazelle is a much more involved parent than Mrs Everdeen is post-explosion, Gale still has to take on a lot in order to feed his family of five.

So not only does Gale have to grow up too fast, he also finds that he doesn’t have a lot of people he can rely on, emotionally or literally. He has his mother, but no male figure to look up to for guidance or advice. He also has his siblings, but when you have to raise your siblings like they’re your own kids, it often feels inappropriate to confide in them. Gale is, essentially, alone.

Then Gale finds Katniss in the woods. To Gale, Katniss is the one person he can rely on to both fully understand losing a father/growing up too quickly AND help feed his family. As shown throughout the series, they trust one another in ways they don’t trust anyone else. They make each other feel physically and emotionally safe to be themselves. They are, in fact, each other’s woods to escape in.

So, when Gale loses Katniss in the 74th games, he obviously feels distraught, especially when she doesn’t entirely come back to him despite surviving. The part of Katniss that felt safe and exclusively his died in the arena. Once again, Gale is alone.

Now, this part is where I like to kind of rag on him given that Katniss isn’t a possession. And really, if your best friend had to kiss someone else to survive a totalitarian regime’s death trap, then telling them about how upset you are about not being able to kiss them too seems insensitive and problematic.

But again, Gale has no adult father figure to help him navigate romance. He has never had much time or energy for anyone else. And in a world where his life could so easily be upended by an explosion or illness or reaping, Katniss was someone consistently in his life, someone who always showed up for him, someone with whom he could truly be himself. So, much like basically everyone in D12 (besides Katniss herself) thought, he kind of assumed that Katniss would be around forever. And when she suddenly wasn’t, well…it’s easy to see how this abandonment wound got triggered. And while saying “I had to do that, at least once” after kissing her traumatized and emotionally confused ass was rather selfish, Gale has never been allowed to be selfish in his life. Ultimately, an 18 year old with a shaky support system is not going to make the best decisions, communicate well, or cope perfectly every time. So his reaction, while unlikeable, makes sense.

Another thing I want to touch on with Gale is his plan with the bombs, both with the Nut and in the Capitol. People like to boil it down to “Gale murdered prim lmao,” and “Gale’s a war criminal,” and while Katniss will never be able to separate Gale from that act, it’s definitely more nuanced than the memes.

We see Gale’s plans become more and more sinister throughout Mockingjay (he’d definitely become a victor had he ever been reaped). While I obviously do not condone any of those plans, it’s hard not to empathize with him. The capitol repeatedly ripped up anything Gale saw as stable and happy. And again, without extensive support and lots of therapy, it makes sense that a fiery 18 year old who’s life has repeatedly been ruined emotionally would want revenge. For once in his life, Gale has control over what happens. His voice matters; he has a place amongst Coin’s elite forces and strategists, and he’s surrounded by likeminded people who have losses and angers just as large as his own. Unlike when he was just ranting to Katniss alone in the woods, he has an army full of people just like himself. Gale is no longer alone.

Additionally, he has some form of Katniss again…which is good in that he has his best friend around, but bad in that he also lives with the constant reminder of who she is now vs who she was before, and the person who did this to her—and who did this to him—is in closer reach than ever before.

The main issue lay in the fact that not only did most people (even Katniss) fail to direct that energy towards the correct target, but the higher ups that DID give Gale that sense of power and control actively encouraged these unmerciful plans. It really places Coin right on Snow’s level even before we learn of her plans for the new games, killing off the victors, or extinguishing Katniss’s spirit. The ways in which she manipulated the young, the emotionally vulnerable, and the angry really hinted at her villainy all along, and Gale and Katniss’s relationship was unfortunately a casualty. Of course, we never really know what may have been, and of course Gale’s anger and fire probably would have led to their downfall anyway. But Coin using Gale’s trauma to her advantage definitely turned a potential into a reality.

TL;DR:

Gale’s weak support system, repeated abandonment, and lack of control made his character painfully realistic. While some of his actions certainly made him unlikable and ruined his relationship with Katniss, I think he deserves some slack given his circumstances.

Edit: while I call Gale’s support system weak, I don’t mean that his mother/Katniss/other family don’t care for him. It’s just that a support system isn’t really a strong system if there are only one or two people that you can only partially rely on.

[indigoelegy]

usamaru furuya is underappreciated by people talking about lgbt manga and i’m here to change that

hi! if you like manga which merely contains LGBTQ+ characters going about their day and are treated with the humanity and sensitivity they deserve, then these are the recs for you. usamaru furuya himself has never expressed being lgbt at any point, however he does have a very nuanced and personal understanding of lgbt issues, so take that one as you will….. I’ll be including works that are only partially translated into English in this list as well as unfortunately, not many of his works have been localised in full, and even less officially. (Please note! I am a cis lesbian and Furuya’s work deals pretty exclusively with mtf trans people and mlm relationships and sentiments, neither of which are things I have direct lived experience with - however, based on my general experiences as an lgbt person and especially as somebody who reads a whole lot of lgbt manga, I feel he handles these subjects well. your experience may be different and that is totally fine, and I apologise if I ever word anything incorrectly in this post, but I just wanted to put this out there bc Furuya is my favourite mangaka 💕)

PLEASE keep in mind that due to the nature of some of these manga, they aren’t for everyone. I will do my best to list trigger warnings where applicable.

Litchi Hikari Club & Bokura no Hikari Club

**PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS ONE ESPECIALLY IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART.**

TWs: animal harm, depictions of underage sexual activity (not pornographic, and used for a purpose), a lot of gore and violence, death, sexual assault, child sexual abuse (both implied and shown. it’s only shown once but it is very upsetting so please tread very carefully), Nazi imagery and references, and use of the rising sun flag.

What’s in there?: MLM ‘couple’ (not a healthy one, mind you), and a trans girl.

If you aren’t familiar with this manga, I won’t be able to describe the plot in a way that’s meaningful to you - but one thing I promise is that despite the laundry list of tws and the incredibly shocking imagery used in this manga, all of it is used for a purpose. The reading order is Litchi first, and then Bokura (the prequel) afterwards. This manga has points to make on several topics, the most prevalent of which I can only describe as authority and corruption, the effects of extreme poverty and neglect on the young people who experience it, and the search for love and purpose (as well as the consequences that can come from not being properly prepared for or understanding of sexual relationships). The trans character is an example of the phrase ‘coding is canon’ - while she never outright turns to the camera and expresses her transness, it’s very much there. Overall, if you can stomach it, this is a fascinating series, and I can’t do it justice by simply describing it. But once again, please be warned that this is overall an extremely dark and depressing read and is by no means a light, fun read with cute LGBT representation. The representation is there but it’s underpinned by an incredibly dark backdrop and the main relationship, be warned, is not a healthy or positive one. A very good starting point to get a feel for this series is the 2016 live action movie! It isn’t perfect on account of some things not perfectly translating into film and some cuts they had to make for time, but it removes an unnecessary and triggering scene altogether, making it a good place to put your feelers out.

Litchi Hikari Club is a read for when you feel prepared to explore the depressing darkness of humanity left to run amok - but it’s a wonderful and rich read nonetheless. Please take care when reading this one though and heed the trigger warnings given.

Genkaku Picasso

TWs: honestly this is a very light read, so I struggle to think of any, but the most prominent one that springs to mind is death and grief - it’s very prevalent in the story. There are some jokes centred around a fujoshi character, but there is no actual fetishisation of MLM in there.

What’s in there?: A trans woman! (Fully, 100% canon. It says so directly in the text.)

Genkaku Picasso is a very light read compared to Litchi (anything is a light read compared to Litchi), and it explores a myriad of issues that Furuya explained as ‘real worries experienced by me and my peers’ in their teen years - the main character has struggles with grief which underpin the entire story, it explores the difficulties and anxieties that come with first relationships, and it also explores gender dysphoria. This isn’t necessarily the most realistic depiction of how coming out in a Japanese highschool would go - but as I understand, some people prefer stories which suspend the reality of something like that for a while. If you’re looking for a light read which takes place in a world where acceptance is the norm, then this manga is for you!

Teiichi no Kuni

**This work is not fully translated, and the information I’m giving is based on the first 19.5 chapters, as well as some offhand translation work done by my friend Mari.** (love you mari also she’s one of the admins on our blog @ litchilalitchi which you should definitely check out if you happen to like litchi hikari club 😇)

TWs: Suicide attempt, a few uses of slurs, and a lot of usages of the rising sun flag. I believe there may also be an implication of sexual assault at one point. Some homophobia and transphobia is touched on in chapters yet to be translated.

What’s in here?: More than one (potentially) gender nonconforming characters, and a whole bunch of extremely MLM feelings. None of the relationships in this manga are 100% canon or explicit (except for one, I think), this is more akin to the way something like Kakegurui is (without the fetishisation).

Teiichi no Kuni is an absolute riot won’t lie. I love this manga. This isn’t so much serious LGBT rep or anything as described above - but it is fun to read and watch these people dance around each other fruitily. Since this is only 1/3 translated (19.5/57 chapters) it’s difficult for me to really comment at this stage what the overwhelming message or themes are supposed to be. This is in the same sort of realm as Genkaku Picasso where homophobia doesn’t exist (although homophobia/transphobia, as well as potentially compulsory heterosexuality, are touched upon in some chapters that are yet to be translated in a storyline with one of the GNC characters). This was very fun to read bc it is so completely outrageous that’s all. No notes. There’s also a movie but I haven’t seen that so I can’t comment there.

Amane†Gymnasium

**There is only a single translated chapter of this work. This is once again based on my own observations as somebody who owns this manga (but who cannot read Japanese) and Mari’s help and dedication)**

TWs: Suicide, sexual assault/coercion, bullying

What’s in here?: MLM little guys, and an intersex character that is described unfortunately using the H-word (Furuya makes the distinction between this term and the actual condition of intersex, and that word is used for a reason).

I don’t want to talk too much about this manga as I don’t know when it will be translated, but if it is at any point in the future (wink nudge) then this can be a guide. Amane Gymnasium deals with some very real and personal but uniquely represented themes about writing cringe fiction to cope with having difficult circumstances, and the main character’s journey of overcoming her past.

Other Notable Mentions

- ‘Indigo Elegy’ (Chapter 7 of the anthology Happiness): Two main characters in that are pretty gay. It has themes about art and imagination, and working in harmony with another person. No notes! (PLEASE do not read the rest of happiness as some of it is almost purely eroguro nonsense and I can’t recommend it) (my blog is named after it!)

- The Music of Marie: not LGBT in the slightest actually, but it does present, for one scene, a society which has alternative gender norms in a way which treats them as completely normal. This manga is from 2001 so I would say that’s pretty cool.

Overall, it is pretty difficult for me to describe the very understanding vibe that Usamaru Furuya’s works have, and I would recommend reading them for yourself - but please take heed of the trigger warnings, and please be aware that some of his work (especially the early stuff) is eroguro and very shocking and graphic. In my opinion, Genkaku Picasso is an excellent starting point to what I mean when I say his style is very touching and human. Furuya is my favourite mangaka but I barely ever see his works mentioned when people are talking about non-yaoi/yuri LGBT manga.

[atlas-of-galaxies]

pls explain how ur choosing which entities to give to which yttd characters i am listening

i love u thank u for indulging me

I'm gonna go ahead and put this under the cut tho cuz it's about to get Very long and Very spoilery

Sara as the Desolation

right out of the gate is one of my favorite assignments!! Sara has proven many times that she (understandably) is willing to use others to keep herself and the ones she cares about alive. the moment with Anzu being sacrificed over Gin in the Coffin Russian Roulette is an obvious example, but she's shown her selfishness many times throughout the game, such as her scramble to find enough tokens to dump her Sacrifice onto someone else, and her subsequent reaction when she suddenly realizes she's free of it. it's one of my favorite parts of her character.

Desolation is also a lot about loss of potential; Joe's death weighs heavy over her, and she feels nothing but guilt and responsibility for the fact he died so young. not to mention her own role in the Death Game as the supposed 15.5% player; her own potential for cruelty is held over her head by both Shin and Midori, and Keiji's pressure over her to become a leader undoubtedly adds to the expectations she's already crumbling under. she's being pulled every which way, and I really do hope she has her moment of catharsis in 3-2.

... speaking of ... she has quite a similar story to Agnes Montague, doesn't she? :) and I'll admit this next bit is just coincidence, but the Desolation is always antagonistic with the Web, out of all other entities. and the Web in my silly little assignments is, well ...

Shin as the Web

okay, I'll admit I have a very specific idea for Shin, but hear me out. one of my favorite little worldbuilding details in TMA is utilized with Mike Crew: the idea of devoting yourself to one entity to escape another.

Shin is, quite bluntly, the Stranger's ideal target: he mistrusts others, he is terrified of kindness as a mask for evil intentions, and its whole thing is the perversion of identity and self. I think that his First Trial would serve as the culminating realization of his utter hopelessness and inability to trust those who may mean his downfall - however, instead of plainly falling victim to the Stranger, he turns to the coping mechanisms that Midori taught him.

he turns to the Web. he takes that same fear of manipulation he learned from Midori, weaponizing it and doing everything in his power to turn the Game to his favor. granted, he's not nearly as good at it as Midori was, but he certainly puts on a good show, and the Spider is nothing if not dramatic.

Keiji as the Slaughter

another favorite of mine. :) one mistake, one slip in judgement, one hasty pull of the trigger, and Keiji is suddenly haunted for life. he was tricked into violence, sure, but that doesn't mean he isn't still responsible for it, and he's terrified of that part of himself that killed his idol. who's to say it won't happen again? will the next person he hurts be less innocent than his idol? does that make it better?

I think he also has a little bit of Fear Soup Syndrome going on; his fear is very much Slaughter-based, but it manifests in a Spiral-esque fashion, hence the hallucinations. Keiji's absolute lack of trust in himself is also very rooted in the Spiral. Sara, too, but to a less intense degree.

speaking of,

Joe as the Spiral

what else would fit the guy who had to deceive others to try to survive but the embodiment of deceit? even in the single chapter we know him for, Joe has multiple moments where he shows a lack of faith in himself or his beliefs. honestly, he's really only exceptionally strong in his stances where Sara is concerned, hence his one man show in the first Main Game. even if he had somehow managed to survive, though, the guilt I have no doubt he'd foster over tricking the others would weigh heavy on his shoulders. what kind of guy would let 9 people die for his sake? no one worth trusting, that's for sure.

and, of course, then there's the easy part of the assignment: Hallucination Joe! not much to explain there.

Reko as the Stranger

here's an easy one: she literally gets Not!Themed. she doesn't die, sure (at least in one route), but she gets swapped out with a fake that can't quite get Reko down right. the fake is even a doll, for hell's sake. reko was the blueprint (i'm joking i'm 90% sure not!sasha was introduced years before)

barring the elephant in the room, though, her regular self still fits the bill; she's a performer at heart, and her distaste at being manipulated into specific roles and boxes could definitely align with the Stranger's dealings with identity. hell, even her dealings with Alice lend themselves to the Stranger, as she finds his supposed actions utterly incomprehensible. how did she ever trust someone who has the potential to take a life?

Alice as the End

everyday I think about the fact that Alice doesn't even remember the actual act that put him in prison. his entire life becomes tarnished and defined by this singular event that he cannot even recall; I can only assume that his brain moved to fill in the horrifying gaps and concoct his own version of events from what he's gathered in court proceedings.

he parallels Keiji very nicely in this regard, so I could see Slaughter working for him, too. but the thing that strikes me is that Alice's punishment becomes his entire existence, while Keiji's strife is over the fact he isn't punished. Alice isn't even allowed to forget his role in the Death Game; he's constantly in his prisoner's uniform, and his occupation is listened as a Murderer (I'm sure that's more Midori being petty than anything else but it still counts).

the final nail in the coffin is the fact that death is the thing that keeps Reko and Alice from reconciling, which is really the one thing Alice wanted to do before he dies.

Nao as the Corruption

I love assigning characters as the Corruption because it's almost always for one of the less-utilized aspects of it: toxic love. and Nao, through no fault of her own, fits the bill quite well. whether it's her maddened grief that inadvertently endangers Gin and gets manipulated into attacking Shin, or the fact that she is responsible for the only canon ending we have so far at the price of the lives of 6 people, Nao is almost always put into a situation where sympathizing with her means harming others.

she seems to have issues with boundaries too, as evidenced in her rapidly warming up to Sara, a total stranger, and some. um. choice scenes in YTTS. she gets attached hard and fast to others, even if those others happen to be an AI of her dead professor ... I forget if any characters call it out as such, but I doubt such coping is exactly healthy.

I feel like I'm absolutely dragging Nao thru the mud rn and I feel BAD cuz I adore her, but she's a wonderfully complex character who, despite her understandable situation, is capable of doing some very bad things. she's fascinating and I miss her deeply.

Kai as the Hunt

as an extension of the organization that has been tracking and studying the participants for years before the Death Game, Kai fits quite neatly into the Hunt. his role as the hunter ("stalking" Sara, protecting the Chidouins, keeping track of other participants) suddenly being flipped into being prey (being put into the Death Game, receiving the Sage) is classic Hunt behavior.

hell, he's even an assassin who doesn't like to kill! people engage in the Hunt for the chase, not the end result.

okay this is already long enough so I'll save the last four for once I finish their pieces, but I will say that I didn't repeat entities anywhere so. do with that information what you will

[forgiveness-in-the-misery]

Toki’s Psychological State Through the Seasons

Toki is by far for me personally the most interesting member of Dethklok; I know to some degree he’s deemed as a potentially over hyped character by fans and even the show itself, but there’s countless reasons why people cling onto that character, and they’re good reasons. Even if said reasons just come down to “I think he’s neat.” that’s valid.

For me I am so fascinated with his character development, personality, and the varied chunks of background information we get about him throughout the series. A big part of this character is that when you look at him in season one compared to season four he is very different or at least he appears to be much different. Season one does establish that Toki does have a childish personality, his bedroom looks more like a room for a kid than one for a guy in his 20s. Season one establishes those basic facts about him that do heavily carry out through the show, but also increase as the show goes on.

Toki goes from immature but not overly immature to....a complete fucking wreck by the finale of season four (before Doomstar) and the reason for it is simple; it’s trauma.

Toki starts to act differently in season one after the Dethfamily episode; he spends practically that entire episode in a catatonic state, his parents always looming nearby like figures of danger and doom. After this we do get to him being bitter about being seen as immature and seen as the kid of the band (despite the fact he was barely 16 when he joined Dethklok) and when a charity informs him that a dying girl wants to meet him he turns into a complete prick. He finally comes out of that when he sees a video the kid made of herself singing a song about death and hatred, with that scene we see a small flashback of Toki’s childhood; him about the little girl’s age standing out in the snow staring up at his parents looking confused and a moment later he’s being smacked across the face. 

We could already gather beforehand when we found out he came from a very devout religious sect outside of Lillehammer that his childhood was sketchy, plus how he locked up when around his parents, but seeing the flashback of him being hit as a little boy.....Answers the obvious question of “did they beat him?”

Season one is the least eventful of the seasons. Season two is when shit begins changing drastically.

Season two Toki receives a call to inform him that his father has cancer and is on his death bed, the family and the church wants him to return to Norway to see his father. He acts completely fine about this initially, the phone conversation and the way he announces his father’s terminal illness to the band is as if somebody just asked to borrow his car. When it gets close to time to actually go and when they are in Norway it’s different though; he becomes anxious and clearly uncomfortable, in Norway he stays in town mostly, stalling around places he went to as a kid and a teenager before he ran off to America. 

He does handle his father’s dying well once he finally convinces himself to go inside his house and see him then follow through with his father’s dying request to carry him up to his old childhood home (which goes wrong because his friend’s are dicks.) 

I am not going to go into personal detail at all and my situation was nothing like Toki’s (it’s incredibly rare to hear situations like that anymore), but Toki handling his father’s passing freakishly well kind of was a red flag for me, because I know from my own experiences that when you find out something complicated like a terminal illness or the death of your abusive parent theres’ a chance you may respond way too calmly to it, and then later down the line days or months or years later something will trigger a big reaction to it. Which is what happens.

After handling his dad’s death well we get the most iconic scene involving Toki at that point and honestly still the most iconic; he beats a man to death with his bare hands. The thing that triggers this is a hallucinated image of a rabbit, an animal he associates both with his father and his childhood, the image of it triggers him to fly into an insanely feral blind rage taking it out on a guy who had been annoying him all night. Toki has always throughout the entire series shown signs of being a tad violent, but never THAT bad. Sure he shot down a plane and had accidentally caused a death or twenty (the whole band is, it’s part of the sacrifices to the Gods deal) but we had never seen him before or after that moment beat somebody to death. That is new and it came from a place of pent up....shit. Shit he never worked through and even after that continued to not work through.

Because after this we lead into him worsening further; he begins drinking. A lot. The band consist of dudes with addiction issues, mainly alcohol, but Toki never seemed to drink quite as much as them until after he went feral on that straight edge guy. 

Toki deals with his childhood trauma in several ways:

He drinks. A lot.

He focuses on fantasy and daydreams to keep himself from focusing on his past.

He spends a lot of time with Dr. Rockso who takes advantage of his kindness often, he also spends gross amounts of money bailing his clown buddy out of jail. Constantly.

He occasionally gets violent, but never to the point of manslaughter.

Seasons three and four are when we get fully introduced to Toki acting like a kid more than a guy in his 20s and it makes sense. Toki didn’t have a childhood; we learn that his parents essentially made him into a slave at a young age having him do pointless “chores” like sweeping snow during a storm, carrying stacks of wood much too heavy for a small child, etc. and when he failed to work quickly enough or failed a task they punished him. They punished him by locking him in a shed, they punished him by chaining him up like an animal, they punished him by smacking him, by beating him with a bull whip, and worst of all (who knew it could get worse) they would force him to stay for long periods of times in a deep hole dug into the ground. A hole where he hid a clown doll made of twigs and straw, the only friend he had as a little kid.

From all that we can gather through the show he didn’t exactly have a social life of any kind until his teens, the older he became the braver I think he became, and that was responded to with worse violence from his parents. I think the statement in season one about a vision of father killing son wasn’t totally off, I think if Toki had never run away from Norway that his father would have murdered him. I think his parents knew somehow that he isn’t entirely human, they knew he was something else, and I do think his parents had plans to kill him before he could become “too powerful”. 

That aside though.....Once we the audience as well as his friends find out far more details about his horrifying childhood Toki changes. A lot. He’d already been immature and a tad bit off but he regresses further after that, more prone to depression and outbursts, clinginess, and a need to feel like he’s loved by pretty much anybody.

This is a dude who is about my age that came to the horrid realization that any person or animal he loves will die because that’s his “gift”, the gift of death. He works his ass off to repress and rationalize a brutally nightmarish childhood, and the guys he’s in a band with who he loves and sees as his family....are dicks. We know that when he joined Dethklok before they got famous that they were all close, but when they began becoming popular and became immensely wealthy the others became more focused on self indulgence and power, less focused on this still a child who desperately just wanted a family.

I think a key factor with Toki being the way he is comes down to the band’s “no caring” rule. A rule that only existed because of Magnus. Toki is the baby in a group of people who have known each other for a good while, people who came to an agreement to not give a shit about each other for a reason they never explained to him because it’s too painful for them to think about. I think he always tried to live by that rule of not caring, he tried to bury all the shit wrong with himself the best that he could but he was never good at it. It’s also clear they all care about each other and they definitely care about Toki; Nathan and Skwisgaar often being the most protective of him. 

In season four aka the season where the show becomes less of a comedy and more of a drama with stunning animation. Toki is immensely more immature and awkward, he’s clingy with the band especially where Skwisgaar is regarded. Near the end of season four he’s completely fucked up; he splits his time between Rockso (his comfort object) and Magnus (a father figure to replace Nathan) in the dinner episode which has so much going on in it. So much. Toki is at his lowest point in the series; he shows up late, drunk as fucking hell, shirtless, and covered in bruises and cuts. Rockso is with him and when Charles tries to tell him Rockso shouldn’t be there Toki goes into a full fucking anxiety attack until Charles tells him it’s fine to have the clown there. Toki’s heavily dependent on Rockso by that point; his found family is quickly falling to shit. God knows what kind of shit Magnus might have been feeding him about the band at that point. 

Toki’s entire thing from day one/the pilot of the series is that he just wants a family. When he feels like he doesn’t belong in the one that he found and was taken in by he searches for family in other places, when he can’t handle the memories of his childhood he spirals hard. I understand that the guys didn’t really know how to handle it after they heard about Toki’s childhood so I can’t fault them completely for just.....shoving him off onto Rockso after that, but I still think they should have tried to be there for him more so, more directly. I think an outlet that isn’t a drug addled clown might have helped him in some way, I think if when he’d been a teenager if one of them had found out about his upbringing and just pointed out “that isn’t okay, at all.” then things might have panned out differently. 

Mental regression isn’t uncommon when it comes down to victims of trauma caused by extreme abuse. Especially considering his trauma all occurred basically from the get go; he was a child slave, the closest I would guess he ever got to having a childhood when he was a kid was seeing other kids childhoods. Going into town and seeing kids playing, sneaking into birthday parties just to be around other kids his age, etc. and he definitely was childish as a teenager, but I think he tried to bury that side of himself when his bandmates started teasing him or pointing out how unmetal it all is.....But then a douche bag journalist brought his parents to America, a little girl died, his abusive father died horribly (as he should) in front of him, he beat a man to death (allegedly), etc. 

He spent a lot of years away from all the trauma and the death and the bull shit then suddenly it started piling on top of him again and his escapism was fantasy, clinging onto a junkie clown, partaking in childish hobbies.....because why not? 

Each member of the band suffered some messed up shit when they were kids and it shows in different ways, this is Toki’s way of dealing with it....or not. I’m not entirely sure what his psychological state would be post Doomstar; the way he bounces back from immense trauma makes me think that he would be okay given some time and that’s a safe assumption to make, especially now that his bandmates/family will be there for him the way he needs them to be.

I want to tag @theidiotwiththepaintedface who hopefully will enjoy this painfully long deep dive into a character’s psychology lol.