#the way that nobody is going to care lmfaooo

[astrxealis]

damn i never thought i'd get into stardew valley this much but here we are !! makes perfect sense tho

[southparktegreity]

gen. dating headcannons + short story [ SOUTH PARK X READER ]

[ kyle broflovski x reader ]

[ kenny mccormick x reader ]

[ leopold 'butters' stotch x reader ]

gender : neutral cws : minor nsfw (kennys part) ! requested : yes (@h3artilly ! thank you for the request pookie! I THOUGHT THE STAN SAID KENNY LMFAOOO dw ill write u a stan one too <3)

NOTICE : these characters are aged up, and intended to be 19/20+!

a/n : my requests are open !!! (please request if you have anything you’d like to see me write!)

kyle :

asked stan for advice while asking you out, though stan's advice was something along the lines of "good luck bud" since the chances are, kyle already knows what he needs to do - he just needs to gain the courage to actually do it. i feel like he'd ask you to study over at his house and then would attempt to make a move on you, while you guys are taking a break he'll throw his arm around you. i definitely think he'll be a bit stiff at first, but once you lean into him, he starts to relax.

for dates, i feel like he'd definitely be into studying with you, but i don't think he'd consider that a date - more like you're just motivation for him to keep going and vise versa. so i think realistically he'd take you on a date anywhere you wanted to go! i definitely think he's not a fan of movie dates though, since he wants to be watching and talking to you, not a movie. he would also totally take you to casabonita, and would specifically make sure cartman isn't there on the reservation sheet just so nobody could get in your guys way. he'd take you all over the resturant, showing you the little arcade area, (he is definitely going to try and show off his basketball skills on that one basketball game).

kyle is definitely a lot more possessive than i would've initially thought. i feel like he (unintentionally) probably is very territorial with you. if a guy hits on you i feel like he'll definitely come over and throw his arm around you, you know making casual small talk, but his face would be pretty red from anger so needless to say the other guy probably would take the hint. i also think he'd probably express his anger later in the night by 'marking' you (with hickies), again very territorial.

big spoon. i repeat. big spoon. aside from that though, he wants to softly kiss your face and your neck, his arms around your hips and facing you. he wants to worship you! of course, when he's upset or doesn't have the energy to be the big spoon he'd ask if you could do it for sure. i feel like he also loves little gentle kisses across his face. i can definitely imagine him loving the lipstick trend. he also probably loves it if you play with his hair (just as long as you don't mess it up too much).

i feel like he's definitely more into the sort of 'classic' pet names, think like "sweetheart" or "darling". i feel like he'd really like the more elegant ones. he'd want you to feel like the queen to his king, worshipping you all the way.

"Y/n, could you be the big spoon this time?" Kyle looked at you, then down away from you as if he was embarrassed by his emotions and his wants.

"Do you even have to ask?" You spoke with a genuine smile, adjusting yourself so you were above him, wrapping your arms around his waist as he turned over with you. You couldn't help but place a few kisses on his neck as he turned over, gently tickling him as it caused him to let out a laugh.

"Y/nnn... stop that darling it tickleess..." He spoke unserious, his voice seeping with little giggles.

✧─── 《☆》 ───✧

kenny :

once he recognized how he felt about you, i feel like he was probably nervous but straightforward. i get the impression kenny wouldn't want to beat around the bush or make you uncomfortable if you didn't know the way he was thinking about you. i think he'd probably pick some flowers for you, and get some advice from karen as to what he should say to make it seem like he really cares and isn't just flirting with you for fun.

he'll definitely do his best to work as hard as possible, taking overtime hours to treat you. he wants to take you out to a nice dinner, candlelit with spaghetti - all the works. however, upon realizing he doesn't have enough money to treat you out somewhere expensive - he goes ahead and asks his sister for advice. they both decide they'll work on making a nice homemade spaghetti, and karen will dress up as a fancy waiter to serve you. it'll be candle lit (mostly so you can't see how his house is in ruins) and they'll both do their best to make it a magical first date as you deserve !!!

kenny definitely gets jealous, especially knowing how guys are (from experience of course (he's the type of guy he'd be wary of)). he's definitely the type to throw his arm around you whenever some man is flirting with you, and he'll probably go as far to borderline make out with you in front of him if he isn't taking the hint. though he definitely wouldn't do all of this if you weren't into it, i think he just likes to make a bit of a show out of the guy who's hitting on you.

definitely prefers to be the larger spoon when spooning, but i think his favorite way of cuddling his probably putting his head on your chest, and his arms around your waist. his spooning style reminds me of that one clip of the guy saying "titty in hand, dick hard on the butt ..." or smth like that - could also totally see him trying to make a tiktok with you using that clip (regardless of gender) ;)

definitely calls you sickeningly sweet pet names as a joke to tease you, like "how's my cutie pie buttercup doing today?" with a cheeky smirk as you probably look back at him in annoyance since you guys are in public. i think he probably says it so much that it slowly becomes unironic and he seriously starts calling you that.

You could feel Kenny squirming around behind you, his phone in hand - trying to get all the right angles. You looked over your shoulder trying to see what he was doing.

"Ken, why are you moving around?"

Kenny looked at you, then proceeded to start playing an audio "how to spoon : titty in my hand, dick hard on butt, kiss ya neck".

"...If you wanted someone to teach you how to spoon, you should've just asked me." You spoke with a smile, before taking his free hand and putting it on your chest.

Kenny felt like he could melt in that moment, his hands melting into yours and his body practically turning into mush.

✧─── 《☆》 ───✧

butters :

he definitely asked kenny for help and advice. i feel like kenny would probably tell butters to just go for it! kenny would definitely help him pick out a nice outfit for when he asks you out, meanwhile butters is getting you a huge bouquet of flowers and some chocolates for you. he'd probably mention in there that he didn't want to go too crazy with everything but he really does want to give you the world. i also feel like cartman would probably get wind of this and tell butters to do a public confession, because cartman thinks you don't like butters. but the look on cartmans face when you tell butters you'd love to go out with him... priceless. but so is butters! he'd run up to you and give you a huge hug and tell you that he'll pick you up at 7 at your house.

i feel like butters would probably want to do a picnic date. he definitely came prepared with tons of food and all different types since he doesn't know which is your favorite. he'll stay with you and eventually walk you home - but he ended up not getting home fast enough and got grounded. in return you'd end up taking him to a hello kitty café! though only after his grounding. i can definitely imagine you and him doing super secret facetime dates when he's grounded where you guys play videogames or like a board game on call. he'd love it if you snuck in while he was grounded, but he's SO nervous about getting caught or having his parents be on bad terms with you so it definitely wouldn't be all the time.

i feel like if someone tried to hit on you he wouldn't really know what to do, but he also has enough trust in you to be able to handle them yourself. it's not that he doesn't care, but more like he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable by stepping in if you can handle it ! though if it ever got too far and you looked like you couldn't, he'd probably put on his big boy pants and tell the guy to get outta there !!

i get the impression he would want to be on the same level as you. i think he'd want to be able to look you in the eyes while cuddling - or doing anything for that matter. part of it is because he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable but also because he thinks your eyes are beautiful and wants to stare at your face. he'd most likely want to face you, and pull your waist towards him sliding his hand on your back. though he'd do it carefully and gently, treating you like a gentle flower that could move away anytime you wanted.

definitely calls you the most random and/or corniest pet names ever, think like "heya cutie-patootie-razarooie!". this definitely causes people to give you weird looks but i think it's part of his charm, and i'm sure you do too.

“Well heya there schnookums!” Your boyfriend Butters walks over to you just as the new kid was asking for your number. “Were ya in the middle of somethin’ with your pal here?” He spoke with a bit of envy leaking from his voice.

You shook your head, throwing an arm around Butters waist and looking back at the new kid. “Sorry.. I have to go on a date with my boyfriend.”

The new kid watched this go down, shrugging and walking away, leaving you and your boyfriend alone.

“Jee wizz, y/n. You’re really somethin’ else, you know that?” Butters placed a kiss on your forehead, moving some of your hair out of the way before taking the hand that was on his waist and holding it gently as you two walked off together.

✧─── 《☆》 ───✧

[heartscrypt]

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆.　 . • ☆ . ° *₊ ° . ☆.　 . • ☆ . °

"Getting into character for Halloween's fine and all. I just don't know why it has to involve me.."

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆.　 . • ☆ . ° *₊ ° . ☆.　 . • ☆ . °

dropping the halloween oc sr right after the endless halloween event ends LMFAOOO my timing is so bad.

anyways here's yumi shinomiya, my chapter 4 yuu, being forcibly dragged by ears and tail into halloween festivities. rip bozo. shes more distraught about having to wear a costume the entire time than the Hundreds Of Students Who Have Gone Missing. PRIORITIES, GIRL!

click here for more context on yumi!

voice lines under cut!

Summon = Getting into character for Halloween's fine and all. I just don't know why it has to involve me..

Groovy = Do I bite? Mm, don't push your luck. Once I've sunk my teeth into something, I won't let it go that easily.

Set Home = Woof, or, uh, something. Look, I'd put in more effort if I was, like, actually being paid to do this, but I'm not.

Home Idle 1 = Kalim insisted on the costume, and I'm not exactly in a position to refuse anything that's free. Well, it was Kalim who insisted, but Jamil helped me out with the henna-- he seems pretty used to this stuff.

Home Idle 2 = Grimmy said I don't make a good wolf, and I honestly don't care enough to prove him wrong-- hey, what do you mean, "it's because you're more like a cat than a dog" ?!? What do you mean by that?!?

Home Idle 3 = Halloween at Night Raven College is pretty different from my old school. For one, it seems to involve a lot less illegal-- wait, NDAs definitely don't apply when you're in another universe, right?

Home Login = Here's to a Halloween without any police sirens outside my window at 2 in the morning. Ahaha, just messing with you. It was actually 3 in the morning!

Home Idle Groovy = Trick or treat! Do whatever, I honestly don't mind which one I get as long as neither have any razor blades involved.

Home Tap 1 = Back home, I used to bark at creeps all the time, so howling at other students shouldn't feel any different.. but it's so much more humiliating...

Home Tap 2 = Ehh, it could always be worse than an ears and tail. I could be wearing... whatever the heck Octavinelle's wearing, ahaha! Oh man, if I grabbed one end of those unrolled toilet paper rolls they're wearing and pulled hard enough, I bet they'd spin out of their unraveled costumes like a top.

Home Tap 3 = You know, some people fantasize about romancing werewolves. My take on that is that all the fur they'd probably shed would be super unromantic, but nobody else likes to think about that part of the relationship.

Home Tap 4 = Remember to call Tsunotarou-- err, Malleus-- over here for the group photo. He gets sulky and prone to blowing stuff up if he's not included. You know, he's a lot like a poorly-adjusted teenage girl that way... hm? No, I didn't say anything..

Home Tap 5 = Was that your attempt at a jumpscare? Hah. It'll take a lot more than that to phase me. You, however... I could totally make you run screaming for your mommy if I tried.

Home Tap Groovy = You want to know what Halloween was like back in my world? You're gonna regret asking that.

[macabrecravings]

yes hello i heard you asked for harper propaganda so im coming to your rescue. i am assuming the gaslighting puts you off and I UNDERSTAND even for me it was an acquired taste but here are some of their charm points that i think people dont see at a glance

1. they love you. straight up they are infatuated with you. vrel has said that theyre kylar level obsessed they just happen to be more patient. vrel has also said that they for the most part dont treat other patients the way they treat pc and that they take every opportunity possible in their busy schedule to see them.

2. ik people see them as this insidious manipulator and yeah to some degree thats true but theyre such a fucking fail when you read between the lines. cums in their pants just from touching you. harper nobody is believing that having me kiss you is legitimate therapy and it doesnt help that youre LIKE 25 and do every medical/psychological profession under the sun what degree you have to have your staff hypnotized or something. blushes when you initiate anything. blushes when you have a big dick. virginity lines are shit like "say ahh" "please try to relax, im going to administer a suppository" "its time for your prostate exam" like ok buddy sure youre still trying to pretend to be professional while youre balls deep in my ass, just admit you have a roleplay kink

3. theyre so smug and its so fucking funny "nothing good on tv i take it" when you have your second pregnancy SHUT UP LMAO

4. their favoritism of pc is so blatant bc they dont give a flying fuck about ANYONE else. that scene where they have a random med student there to help examine you. the fact that theyve forgotten the students name,, who fucking cares theyre just there to feed harpers voyeurism kink now uh student. whatever your name is help me collect this cum out of pcs holes its for research i promise

ill spare you and stop myself here but ty for reading

omfg. asylumdweller themself coming to spread harper brainrot to me??? i’m honored….

Literally no better person to convince me than you LMFAOOO. WHEN YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT …… Okay yeah, yeah, the gears r turning I see the appeal now. 🤔

BAHAHAH. Harper, I’m sorry for not giving u a fair chance 😔 It’s my Whitney situation all over again … Hated them based off of the first ick I got. (Even though I clearly would enjoy their scenes and content if I didn’t judge a book by its cover PLSNDBDNF….)

Aw :( Love an obsessive, pathetic man. Fictional insidious manipulators are fun as fuck, look at my boy Cain <3 He’s the worst and I need him so carnally. Also, cringefail loser? I see… *nodding solemnly and taking notes*

“Nothing good on tv i take it?” IS FUNNY AS FUCK STOP IAIWJDNFBFN

THANK U FOR UR TIME AND EFFORT WRITING THIS!! /gen

i have much to think about ….

[purpurussy]

Saw you asking about ywgttn - it's probably above your pay grade yeah I thought it was a bit MH 101, it's probably helpful for someone who deals with anxiety or depression but not anything else. But I do think the tone of it is pretty good, personally I cannot fucking stand those trite saccharine "you deserve to be gentle with yourself!" type books, and ywgttn is very much in dans usual voice. like typical Dan "turns out making a joke out of your poor mental health is actually a terrible coping mechanism, don't do what I did!" Sort of voice. I do actually think he did a pretty good job with the tone, not making it too heavy or deep while also taking everything seriously. But yeah if you're experienced in dealing with poor mental health it's probably not something you'd find useful.

Because it's so clearly his voice I do remember thinking I wanted more of his personal anecdotes from it, but it makes more sense that it's not about him, tbh. Plus that would be quite personal. Theres some stuff about his life in there but not much that we as fans of his YouTube channel wouldn't have already learned.

I'm really glad people are sharing their thoughts on ywgttn! I was looking up reviews a while ago when I was trying to decide whether to buy the new paperback version, and I found a reddit thread where people had a very different opinion which put me off a bit, but it also seems from what I can tell that dnp reddit became a bit toxic a couple of years ago (someone in the comments on the post I found said that it had become a "dan hating zone" during the hiatus), so I think that might be why.

The reddit phannies had a big issue with the tone (calling it "condescending" mainly), and claimed that he was giving dangerous/unhealthy advice, although yeah I think this was due to a specific kind of mysterious brain rot which seemed to take over phan reddit a few years ago. I just found the thread again and someone claimed that he was telling his "13-17-year old audience" (which firstly is like. are the 13 year olds in the room with us now) to rely on sex/masturbation as an unhealthy coping mechanism. But I saw the page about sex/masturbation posted earlier today, and what he said was "doing something relaxing, for example having an orgasm and putting your phone away, can help you sleep better" which is like fair enough, I think a lot of people would agree. But this person seemed to think he said "hey kids, did you know that the ONLY way to achieve good mental health is by JORKIN THAT THANG 24/7" so yeah I decided I'm gonna take the reddit opinions with a big old grain of salt lmfaooo. Your assessment of the tone seems a lot more appealing.

Your last paragraph did get me wondering if there was a bit of a marketing dilemma with ywgttn. I assume they had a market segment in mind of people who are already fans and are familiar with Dan and his humor and vibes, and I wonder if it was tricky to strike a balance between appealing to phannies who want more comedy and juicy personal anecdotes from him, while at the same time also appealing to a wider audience who might not know anything about him (or care about his life/get his comedy like we do) and are genuinely reading it as a self-help book. There's a risk of appealing to nobody if you're trying to make something that appeals to everyone, but it seems like he pulled it off!

Sorry I yapped a bit here lmao. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I think I'll give it a go based on what you guys have said! (if nothing else I'm curious now, also someone said in the tags earlier today that it helps to parasocially listen to Dan specifically telling you to take care of your mental health, even if you've heard it before, and I think that might be the case for me too dshlsgkhlg)

[donniesbabygirl28]

heyyyy could u do hcs of what it would be like to be sodapop's twin sister and be part of the gang? (or something like that) :D

Of course! Sorry I took so long I slept in til 3 and I didn’t realize I had notifications lol.

One, let’s say that you and sodapop literally act just alike.

You two are each others main one and y’all don’t let nobody get in the way of your bond.

When you get jumped by socs sodapop is the first one to get to you before anyone else.

Yeah the others care about you but sodapop would go ape shit if you got hurt.

Your the only twin he has and he wouldn’t take any chances.

Yeah you two definitely fight sometimes over the dumbest shit.

“Go away soda! I’m trying to sleep!” “but I love youu!”

Expect Steve to flirt with you and soda shutting it down real quick.

“Hey y/n you look beautiful today.” “ay ay ay…back tf up.”

Anytime you bring a boyfriend around everyone is just looking him waiting for him to say the wrong thing so soda can rock his shit.

Two bit being your bestie apart from soda.

“Hey Minnie, watchu up to?”

Watching Mickey Mouse is a must.

Darry yelling at you two at 2 in the morning bc y’all were laughing and giggling when he has work in the morning. LMFAO

*y’all two laughing y’all’s asses off* “will you two shut the fuck up!!”

You two just laugh even more at that.

He wakes y’all up extra early before he goes to work for waking him up. (My dad did that to me and my sister 💀😭)

“Soda! That’s mine!” “It ain’t got your name on it!” *results in you chasing each other around the house*

You hide his DX shirts..because you can.

“Y/n have you seen my DX shirt?” “….no.”

PRANK WARS EVERYWHERE

Him randomly walking up from behind you and screaming in your ear.

Y’all only got in ONE ☝️ fist fight with each other when y’all were 5. You bat him in his shit and he never took another Barbie form you again. LMFAO.

He puts you before himself.

“Nah you eat first I’m not that hungry.”

If you got in a argument with someone in the gang he would take your side even if you were wrong.

“Y/ns got a point.” “What?! No she doesn’t!” “Yes she does.”

Annoying each other constantly.

“Your mad.” “shut up soda.” “oooo now your big mad.”

LMFAOOO I can see it.

Y’all hanging out in one of y’all’s rooms whenever ponyboy and Darry are going at it.

If Darry yells at soda you get mad. “Don’t you yell at him!” Same for soda.

But overall y’all two are inseparable. He defends you in stupid situations and serious situations. Y’all are each others happy place.

Love y’all hope y’all like it ❤️🤍 and I hope you have a great holiday.

[piplupod]

okay hang on i am dissecting this in my head still and also a little bit with a friend on discord lol. but I think where i'm getting tripped up is that I'm not understanding the harm in any of this. who is it hurting exactly?

if it's hurting lesbians by muddying the definition of lesbian, WHY is that hurting lesbians?

(im going to put this under a cut because idk if anyone actually cares about all of this LMAO but i'm just trying to figure it out and if someone wants to chime in then they can read this and get back to me fdsjkl)

,,, okay we have to take a step back here to look at the big picture, stay with me fdsjkl. so. the queer community, as a whole, to my understanding (feel free to correct me if i'm wrong), exists so that anyone who is not strictly cishet+perisex+allosexual/alloromantic can have a community where they are safe and accepted and loved for who they are, even when the wider world does not accept us. we are all fags and freaks to the queerphobes who want to see us dead, etc etc.

so... why is there an issue with a label being muddied a bit? why is this hurting people? are we really that different that we need to keep our individual labels pristine like that? <- genuine questions (also this only applies to the queer community, do not try to draw comparisons to other communities because I am not talking about those and I do not think comparisons work here, but I suppose if you have something then let 'er rip and I'll let you know if I think its comparative at all)

the people identifying as mspec lesbians or lesboys or whatever else are obviously not cishet - I feel like if they were they'd just... not be labelling themselves this way - so why is it such an issue that they find community here? why are we trying to tell them they are wrong to make the labels fit their individual internal experience (that nobody other than themselves can fully see and understand)?

also i'm only speaking on this one label right now, I don't know what to think about other labels because those have other considerations to take into account (but maybe i'm missing some for this topic, lmk if i am lol)

again! all these questions i am asking are genuine questions, i'm not just putting question marks at the end to try to sound all hoity toity or anything LMAO I am genuinely puzzling this out right now and will gladly hear people out if they have insight or thoughts or anything !!! i am only one person (well. technically speaking anyways LMFAOOO) with this one brain with its one set of life experiences, so I could easily be missing something or not thinking of something!!

[chryblossomjjk]

omg kiki!!! this is like mad random but I need ur help. I remember u posted ab ur hair journey and I’m rlly curious ab what u did to help it!!! I’m malaysian and I grew up with THICK and voluminous hair but since I started wearing a hijab like six yrs ago my hair starting thinning bc I stopped taking care of it 😞 do u have any tips or recs to help ??? I’m lowkey starting to lose my confidence (even tho nobody can see my hair rlly lmfaooo) and I miss having a lot of hair lol. ofc only share if ur comfy!!! I just rlly appreciated you for sharing ur story w us!!!

p.s I literally luv u sm, ur work is amazing and all around u just seem like such a lovely person ok bye thx ILY <3 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

omg hi friend! i completely get how you feel. hair is such a huge part of your identity and losing it is genuinely traumatic! im so sorry you’re dealing with this! i can definitely share what ive done but pls know that im not like a health professional or anything and all of this is anecdotal! 💗

so one of the reasons i lost a lot of hair was bc i have pcos. i started taking medicine which im sure has contributed to the regrowth. but it doesn’t sound like yours is hormonal so i think probably the other methods could work well for you!!

1. i started taking biotin 10000 mcg (this was not prescribed, i just got the supplement from amazon. ik its just a supplement but pls be careful n take all of my advice with a grain of salt ily 🥺)

2. i only wash my hair about once a week, which really helped with breakage. i have v thick coarse hair, like you, and washing it too frequently definitely leads to dryness and breakage. thas no no >:( i also don’t really brush it that often, but that’s partially bc i have type 3 hair and brushing it out makes me look like i got electrocuted lol. but either way, being v careful when u brush, like starting bottom to top, can also help w breakage!

3. before i wash it, i massage mielle rosemary mint hair oil all over my scalp and let it sit for three hours. rosemary is a dht blocker and helps with the circulation in ur scalp and stuff.

4. when i wash my hair, i use one of these lil things w my shampoo bc it also increases the circulation

5. every night i use a few drops of the ordinary hair serum on the areas where i lost the most like my temple area

i know a lot of people have had success with rogaine aswell. i havent tried it bc it could possibly make another symptom of pcos worse, but ive heard a lot of great things about it! could be worth looking into!

also diet is a huge one too.without going into too much detail, my diet also really contributed to hair loss. so eating enough is a big one and ik protein and healthy fats helps you grow stronger hair, so maybe trying to incorporate more of those could possibly help!! wishing you the best of luck! feel free to reach out to me if you ever want to talk more about it! i know how heartbreaking it is so im here if you need anything 💗

[crybabychim]

I'm sorry if you don't wanna talk about it, please feel free to ignore this ask. But I'm actually so annoyed at how people tried to go off at you and gaslight you when you recognized Lexi or whatever her name is. The blog DEACTIVATED lmao.

And the link to @dilfkoo now brings you to her new account. SO YES THAT IS HER. AND YES SHE WAS TRYING TO CONTACT YOU PRETENDING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE. Nasty. I wouldn't be surprised if she was also behind the anons getting mad at you for recognizing her 💀

She is so mentally unstable, it's not even funny???? I was side eyeing her the moment she posted on the tea blog while pretending to be besties with you. And like I said in my previous ask, she is dumb. The tea blog would rip her apart for posting a stalker fic. And now she has a problem someone else talked about her there. Karma lmao. 🤷‍♀️ Stay safe love

its either her or her friends, nobody random is dumb enough to come up with such idiocies. like why would you even do that lmfao. shes the only one who would call that "stalking" and saying im "obsessed" when shes fucking lurking on my account to convince me shes somebody else

lmfaooo no way, it does link to another account 😭 I have another blog to block!

going to the tea blog is fucking insane when she sounds absolutely ridiculous. she complains she gets harassed and bullied but shes herself a bully lmfaoo like she gotta grow up, shes clearly too stupid and sensitive for the internet idc what I say about her anymore im genuinely so fucking annoyed and tired of her antics

take care love x

[apologieslogan]

my opinons on the sides that nobody asked for:

Canon Logan: AMAZING. a little mean (which I love), and usually right even if the episode says he was wrong for the plot. I have not once disagreed with Logan about anything he has said. He should be listened to more bc in my opinion he is literally the most important side from an objective standpoint. i'm not gonna elaborate on that in this post but if y'all want me to I will

Fanon Logan: Hes great, a little more wild and feral than canon logan which is another thing I love. he has feelings but is allergic to them. can relate. sassy and done with everyone, epitome of "I don't have time for this shit, figure it out yourselves since you don't wanna listen." and I live for it bc I, too, am the logan of my friend group, believe it or not

Canon Patton: I like him. I don't love him, but I think his character plays a very important part in the development of literally every arc that we have seen bc of how much C!Thomas relies and leans on his morality for decision making. I disagree with Patton a lot but he's trying his best so he can live I guess

Fanon Patton: no. no no absolutely not. do not like him at all. specifically, I don't like how fanon patton (usually, not always) is depicted as someone who is always a victim and can never do any wrong. that's one of my least favorite characteristics in any character. it's not happening as much though, so i'm trying to warm up to him.

Canon Virgil: UGH I love him sm. sassy and a lil bit pessimistic. that's my type that's my type. perfect. I have only disagreed with him in the DWIT video and like,,,, pre acceptance. he passed the vibe check

Fanon Virgil: ehhhhhhhhhhh no??? kind of the same thing with patton, how he's always painted as a victim who can't do wrong. not my thing. not that I have a problem with people who do this!!! it's just not something I care for, I wanna be clear about that.

Canon Roman: i am very on the fence about him. do I like him???? I don't think so???? do i not like him???? I don't think so???? I feel like I know nothing about roman. a mystery. probably bc of the persona he puts on all the time. I think I COULD like roman if I knew more about him. so i'm gonna give him a pass.

Fanon Roman: oh yes honey there is flavor here. suave himbo??? we love to see it. he is doing his best and he is also very sweet but somehow stupid at the same time???? perfect. *chefs kiss* lemme go get me another fuckin plate bc it's so fuckin delicious

Canon Janus: BITCH!!!!! you already know I love him. finally some good fucking food. Him, Logan, and Remus are the only ones who be a lil,,,,,, spicy about the morals sometimes and I live for it. Janus is my favorite "fuck society, have a margarita and call in to work" character ever and I loveeeee him for it.

Fanon Janus: YALL DID HIM DIRTY IN THE BEGINNING I HATE IT HERE. y'all know what y'all did. y'all know. B U T, now????? yes I love him I love my lil creepy mysterious side character janus give me more

Canon Remus: YES BITCH YES BITC YES BITCH!!!!!!! he is DISGUSTING and BATSHIT and INSANE and I L O V E it. more remus characters in media, less of everything else. i'm also the remus of my friend group don't ask questions.

Fanon Remus: idk man I haven't seen too much of him. I have seen a fan art where he is drinking soap though so I love it. reminds me of the time I drank tea tree oil just bc I felt like it. we are one. 10/10

okay and here you have it!!!! a list of what I think of all the Sanders Sides characters even tho literally nobody asked!!! also I want to be clear that any critique I did of any character is MY opinion on them. i'm not attacking anyone if they think differently or anything like that, this is just one person and their feelings about them.

TL;DR: logan is great, patton is alright, virgil is good, roman is ????, janus is nice, and remus is stank nasty

[fairycosmos]

so i might be going crazy but i keep imagining all these scenarios where im like. hanging out w my friends or doing smth by myself and imagining how nice it would be to do it w them or have a convo w them, watch a movie, etc etc and im even laughing by myself in my room

and i dont have a lot of friends just like 2 ppl i talk to semiregularly but we havent gotten that many chances to hang out this year

anyways its very weird and obsessive because its not even like daydreaming about a crush yk but i do it so much that i dont finish my work. bestie i am losing it

hii noo i feel like that's so common TBH and not something you need to pick apart / crucify yourself for. i do with it ppl i've never even met 😭 full on smiling and laughing imagining stuff. like always 0.2 seconds away from talking out loud to nobody lmfaooo. it's where i get any semblance of feeling cared for LOL. if we're being real i think having a small group of friends + the isolation of the pandemic and just life in general has rendered a lot of ppl to feel quite alone and this just sounds like a side effect of that. sounds like you're looking for more intimacy and genuine emotional connection, which is literally like. the most human thing in the world im so serious. there's nothing weird about you just because you want that, even though i understand why you feel kind of odd about the way it's manifesting itself.

if it's getting to the point where it's getting in the way of you functioning normally on a day-to-day basis, it could be becoming a form of maladaptive daydreaming. here's an overview of it and a few basic ways to start work on coping with it in a more productive way if it's really making you feel guilty, uncomfortablce etc. but anyway like i said i don't think you're going mad and i don't think you should bully yourself over it at all. this probably means nothing to anyone LOL but i see ppl on tiktok talking about doing this exact thing alllllll the time like it really isn't that far beyond the realms of "normal" or whatever. but ultimately i think what's going to help the most in the long run is trying to foster more connections with ppl + take advantage of the ones you already have in any way that you can through vulnerability and consistent communication with those who love you.

both of those things are wayyy easier said than done and yk i recognize that there's very little opportunity to meet like-minded ppl these days, and recognizing that that's the case - that it's not you, it's your situation - can do a lot for your self esteem imo. but i hope you can find some sense of community eventually, even online or something. personally im one mental breakdown a way from picking up a sport or something just so i see other ppl outside of a work/getting drunk setting bc the loneliness is aliveee at this point and im tired of it. ig what i'm sayinggggg lol is that i totally hear you and understand where you're coming from, and i think a lot of us do, so no worries. im officially diagnosing you with NOT losing it and being so fun and cool. mwah x

[taylorkellyreporting]

i hope no one minds if i liveblog this bitch: once upon a time rewatch 🪝🦢

tallahassee time!!! imo this is the episode that starts cs on their journey

“thank you, m’lady.” *winks* oh i love him

“you could’ve asked me for the keys.” lmfaooo

as much as i dislike neal, his and emma’s dynamic before he betrays her is so damn hilarious. though nothing beats hers and killian’s

“a hook?” “heyyyy!” 😭

🗣 “I WAS HOPING IT’D BE YOU.”

sorry but if killian called me a good girl i’d do whatever he wanted. rip to emma but i’m different.

“don’t think i’m taking my eyes off of you for one minute.” “i would despair if you did.” God, i love them

“i like a challenge.” i bet he does

emma really upgraded in the men department

“sounds like he lives up to his name.” 🥺

the sexual tension when killian wraps emma’s hand…

“and then?“ “then we run like hell.” 😭

emma was so worried that killian got smashed by the giant which i find funny since she doesn’t like him

“it’s about bloody time.” lmfaooo

i wonder if cs was always supposed to end up together or if the chemistry between colin and jmo was so good that there was nowhere else to go?

i stand firm that neal did NOT need to send emma to jail in order for her to break that damn curse like i hate him and august for doing that to her

killian calling emma pet names oh i’m soft

“i heard it the other way.” “that’s because the victors get to tell the story.” well, he’s not wrong

emma betraying killian oh the tropes are so good

henry’s drinking coffee :(

that raggedy ass old man needs to stay away

snow and ruby are such a badass duo

“i know, nobody would believe it if you told them my lasagna’s frozen.” i love granny

poor gus gus ☹️

“i’m sort of an expert when it comes to rehabilitation.” lmaooo not really

ruby is such a ride or die

ruby’s friendship with snow and charming is something that can be so personal 🥺

oh i wish he killed that nasty old man

“i know what it’s like to lose your family.” “i didn’t lose my family today. i protected it.” y’all are so precious

“he said his name is henry.” oooh it’s getting good

lmao killian really tried to seduce cora 😭

why would henry go and tell regina about cora🤦🏻‍♀️

mulan is really out here acting like the only reason she cares that aurora’s hurt is because of phillip

“i like anything that masks the bitter taste of poison.” oh i love aurora so much

lmao killian is already so down bad for emma

“regina. that’s who we should blame.” exactly

“if there’s one thing i know about your grandparents…it’s that they always find each other.” oh i just know that killed her to admit gkgkfkdk

“you found me.” “you found me.” i love them sm 🥺

“you always find me, and i always find you.” FUCK

where’s mulan?

wait how did she get the compass if emma was up the entire time? 🤨

“the time for making deals is done. just as i am done with you.” for now 😏

no one:

my mom, about cora: she’s crazy.

something tells me that isn’t the way mulan ever wanted to tie aurora up

“normally, i prefer to do more enjoyable activities with a woman on her back.” FJGJFJDKS

🗣 “WHEN I JAB YOU WITH MY SWORD, YOU’LL FEEL IT.”

“good always defeats evil. you should know that more than anyone.” GET HA

“you did it.” “did you ever doubt i would?” 🥺🥺

EMMA MY POWERFUL BABY

the scene where mulan puts aurora’s heart back is so romantic how the FUCK were they not endgame?

regina’s all alone like she should be

“maybe one day they’ll even invite you to dinner.” fucking rumple 😭

HE’S HERE

I NEVER NOTICED THE SWAN

😭😭😭 emma’s horrified face fjgjfjdks

“it’s impressive that we can still provide her with a few traumatic memories at this stage of the game.” pls

if it were me, i would’ve let charming kill regina. rip to snow white but i’m different

“she died.” tell her how???

“tell me something, love, if a woman comes to you, begs you to take her away, is that really theft?” dkgjfjs exactly

“i know this ship like the back of my- well…you know.” 😭😭

totally forgot phillip was cursed as that beast

I FORGOT AB HOOK GETTING HIT BY A CAR 😭💀

“hey beautiful.” he’s such a flirt 😭

sorry but i really don’t care about victor or his brother

“again? you’re really into this, aren’t you?” lmfaooo

“is there another attachment you prefer?” I-

rumple what stiltskin???😭

i do not need to see two hags kissing

the two idiots 😭😭

i hate the person belle becomes after losing her memories

gold looked henry right in the eye when he said he’d kill all of them and you want me to feel sorry for that old bitch? absolutely fucking not

“wanna lose the other hand?” fkgjgjdk

“i’m watching you, pirate.” “yes, dwarf.” 😭😭

killian flirting with snow oh he’s really keeping it in the family 😭

damn he got charming good

woah the woman that james was hooking up with looks a lot like ruby

james and jack were such a nasty couple

“how terribly uncivilized.” pls

regina helping anton destroy the town which means he could kill everyone including charming even though she knows how much henry loves storybrook and his family oooh she’s so damn evil i hate her ass

gosh forgot that gold is henry’s grandfather wtf

“it’s a good thing we don’t have thanksgiving in our land because that would suck.” lmaooo

forgot ab gold wanting to kill henry for a second

one thing about this show, characters are gonna get punched in the face

“i’m gonna enjoy throwing his ass in jail.” 😭

that’s the second time emma got compared to regina PLS

“and what would you know about mothers?”

cora really killed snow’s mother on her birthday and then years later also killed johanna on that very day as well OHH SHE’S SUCH A NASTY HAG HER AND HER DAUGHTER

CORA MILLS YOU WILL NEVER BE CINDERELLA

sending a&e my therapy bill since they made me watch core and rumple kiss

“that is why i love you.” i just threw up a little bit

“you make me want to go back. back to the best version of me.” IN FRONT OF YOUR SON?????

regina putting that heart into cora does not make snow innocent i’m sorry. however i am very happy she got rid of that hag! regina should’ve been next!

MY LOVE WHO I LOST TOO SOON I MISS HIM

“when i put over easy on the menu, i was talking about the eggs!” GRANNY 😭😭

this filter is so ugly my gosh

so they were reliving the same day over and over until henry got the book and woke up? alright then.

YOU STAY AWAY FROM GRAHAM YOU HAG

doesn’t regina rip out her heart this season?

henry’s always reading their asses 😭

“he’s your son.” LMFAO

OH MY GOD I FORGOT THAT THE KID IS GREG

SNOW YOU STAY WITH ME

HUMAN!AUGUST YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS

“he has your spirit.” that boy has nothing of neal except his dna but it’s kind of tamara to say

i don’t care about lacey. honestly, truly, do not give a single fuck about her or rumple 🤷🏼‍♀️

THAT RAGGEDY ASS OLD MAN IS OUT HERE DREAMING ABOUT KILLY HENRY HE’S SICK

“he’s got my eyes, don’t you think?” 😭😭

“you always choose darkness.” pot, meet kettle.

charming: be the man she fell in love with.

rumple: instructions unclear, i killed someone.

“he’s much cooler as a kid.” lmfao

not rebooted??? pls

MY LOVE

“mate.” that’s only sexy when killian says it

MY PARENTS 🫂

how tf does rumple know about highlights? 😭

REGINA IS SUCH A MANIPULATIVE BITCH

ya’ll can’t say you love henry and then say you also love regina at the same time sorry

“maleficent. love you in earth tones.” lmfaooo

“oh hell no, i taught her that!” 😭😭

“you roped the kid into this?” there’s so much judgement in his tone fjgjfjdks

wendy 🥺

snow and charming not believing her about tamara being behind regina’s disappearance oh i’m sick

neal would’ve had a family with the darling’s if wendy would have just listened to him

woah completely forgot that they took the trigger

got so caught up in tamara and greg that i completely forgot that this hag wants to kill henry

I HATE IT HERE

“i am not your mate.” but eventually you’ll be his father in law

THAT’S HIS DAD

oh killian played them good lmao

but how did they get henry so quickly? wasn’t snow shielding him? wouldn’t she have felt him being taken from her? hmm.

and that’s the end of s2! forgive me if i got any quotes wrong, watching with my fam and they’re loud lmao

[thejolteonmastertjspoilers]

The Monoma Meta Nobody Asked For

I don’t remember who it was on Reddit that said it makes sense for Monoma to be one of the most empathetic characters in BNHA cuz of his Quirk, (his quirk allows him to walk in the shoes of other people in ways most will never be able to even if for 5 minutes at a time), but let’s talk about it for a minute.

Monoma is a character full of contradictions but there’s a method to the madness. 

Let’s take a real deep look at the manga shall we?

It’s pretty much canon that Monoma trash talks 1-A so much in-part b/c he cares that much... too much... about his own classmates.  It’s implicitly obvious based on the way he interacts with his classmates and phrases his rants at class 1-A. 

The fact that he’s obviously influenced by Vlad is just the cherry on top. 

He’s prideful of not just himself but also his friends.  Let’s break down the nuances there.

Ch196 above, Ch207 below.

Empathy

The kid has a way with words. 

The kid has a weirdly poetic way with words.

He goes out of his way to encourage or reassure his classmates in a deeply thoughtful manner at every given opportunity.

He hyped up Setsuna Tokage before her battle with Bakugo and we saw him grin in pride when Komori took down Tokoyami. 

Whenever Monoma does criticize his classmates, it’s always frank, honest, but constructive, with the intention to help them improve.  He’s even contrasted with his own teacher for being relatively more kind in the delivery of his criticism (see the next screenshot).  Given that Monoma’s shown to be strongly influenced by Vlad, this particular difference stands out.

You never see an anime/manga character get fancifully philosophical & genuinely helpful like this unless they are an adult, usually the MC’s mentor.  Monoma’s legit acting more like an anime mentor than any of Deku’s multiple mentors.  lmfaooo.

Realistically speaking, all of this, the philosophical speeches & level-headed advice, takes an incredible amount of emotional & mental labor.  The kid’s practically doing half of Vlad’s job for him.

It’s during the joint training arc we begin to see why his classmates put up with him and are on friendly terms despite how obnoxious & cheesy he can be & how often they need to keep him in check.

It’s clear even as far back as the sports festival that his classmates don’t actually hate him, despite the smacks & tough love they also just shake their heads with a smile on their face as they say “sorry about him,” cuz that’s just the way he is.  They love him anyways.

He’s an annoying little sh*t but he’s their annoying little sh*t.  Perhaps they even realize why he acts the way he does towards class 1-A, it’s because he cares too much.

Sketch translated by @aitaikimochi​

Putting Up An Act

I think there’s actually even more to it when it comes to his rowdy & brash behaviors. 

Monoma is empathetic because of how his Quirk works.  He needs to learn to use the Quirks of others in order to become a hero.  In doing so he logically needs to become privy to all the Quirk’s weaknesses, not just their strengths.  Not only does he need to become privy to these often deeply personal details of one’s lived life, he needs to experience them, even if for just five minutes at a time.  It’s natural, even necessary, for Monoma to become exceptionally close to his classmates.

But he’s only like that because of how his Quirk works.  It’s his naturally nurtured self.  His conscious self, though, is notably different.

What we see when Monoma says he and Shinsou need to do unheroic things to get by is not his naturally nurtured self, but is a conscious decision.

At some point in his life, Monoma came to the conclusion that being too kindhearted all the time will be weakness.  This is clearly implied, almost outright stated when we heard Monoma’s thoughts when faced with Deku’s Black Whip, “All of the hopes and dreams in my mind from when I was younger are gradually becoming these heavy burdens... like some sort of curse.”  I am 99.999% sure it’s Monoma’s thoughts being shown there because the speech pattern & context don’t match up to Shinsou or Midoriya at all.

Basically, Monoma is a little sh*t because he saw his own empathy as a weakness, and overcompensates for it.  He’s trained himself to be brash & mischievous, likely from a very young age given how consistently brash he is.  We can see a little bit of this when interacting with his class-B classmates as well.

It was @thyandrawrites​ who first noticed this in this post, but here we see Monoma scolding Kendou after losing the beauty contest, giving perhaps too much tough love & TetsuTetsu steps in to Kendou’s defense.

Given how Monoma during the Joint Training arc clearly said everything he did to motivate his friends to do better, this is likely not an isolated occurrence.  The dude cares way too goddamn much for anyone’s good.

Yet there’s something else up with the guy too, something else that contributes even more to his unhealthy obsession with the rivalry vs class-A.  The dude has some serious self-esteem issues but is too prideful to seek real help.

Self-doubt

The fact that he’s the only member of class-B who failed the midterm despite having an intelligence stat of 5/5 speaks for itself.

Him failing the academic exam would be a sign of serious issues going on under the surface in itself, him failing the practical means he probably failed b/c he couldn’t hold his own and his teammate had to pick up the slack.

Him failing b/c he held back his teammate would have hit very close to home since we now know he was told “You can’t be a hero if you can’t do anything yourself” since he was a kid.

Basically, yet another reason he continues to antagonize class-A is a textbook example of someone pushing their insecurities onto someone or something else.

For something often played off as comedic relief there’s a lot of layers as to why Monoma does what he does.

But wait, there’s f*cking more.  There’s actually a particular reason Monoma expresses his insecurities in this unhealthy manner, and that reason ties into what I’ve already begun to address about his empathy.

Another Act

I don’t think it’s accident that the first time we see him have a real heart-to-heart with someone is when he’s attempting to do it for the sake of someone else.  Even if it is in a clumsy manner that ends up annoying Shinsou, it’s the intent I’m interested in here.

We almost never see Monoma receive or accept praise or reassurance, he’s always the one giving it.  He always makes it a point to put himself in the position where he’s being the emotionally strong one. 

He got over class 1-A securing their victory exceptionally fast, ready to put on a strong face for Tokage and the rest of his class.

The few times we do see him genuinely depressed, he’s distancing himself from others.  

He’s afraid of holding others back not just as a hero, but emotionally as well.  His instinct to be emotionally strong for the people he cares about stems not just from his strong empathy and caring nature nature itself, but also from his pride, insecurities and conscious decision to do everything he can do.

This is why he’s too prideful to seek or accept real emotional help & ends up venting his emotions in unhealthy & destructive ways.

His many depictions as an actor of sorts was intentional.  He juggles many acts, he puts on an act of emotional strength for his classmates, and he puts on an act of cruelty to get by as a hero.  To antagonize people in an attempt to throw them off their game.  Sometimes... oftentimes even, he misapplies these charades & gets carried away.  Oftentimes he fails entirely, he’s trying to do some hella complex things for a kid.

Finally, His Pride

Let’s not kid ourselves here, the dude has a major superiority/inferiority complex.  He fails to see how needlessly cruel he’s being when saying class-A asked to be attacked by villains etc.

I’m willing to bet he’ll be in a phase denial for a while now that Class-B and Class-A have gotten more openly friendly in recent chapters.  But because he cares so much about his classmates he’ll likely eventually come around to adjusting to a new frenemy relationship with 1-A... with much difficulty when we take his pride, insecurities & self-righteous envy into account.

He’ll probably end up being Tsundere about everything to protect his ego and so Horikoshi can keep using him for comedic relief lol.  Even if he does realize a lot of what he’s done was f*ked up, he’s too brash of a prankster to ever go fully soft on them either.

TL;DR... Monoma is a piece of mf work.  Not surprising really.

[aizawaskittenwhore]

𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐭

pairing: cartel!shota aizawa x fem!reader

words: 2.4k

warnings: swearing, this will be a cartel!au, so mentions of c*ke and distribution...yeah lol, suggestive content towards the end of the chapter (vague description of a bj), angst, cheating, aizawa just ain’t shit in this story LMFAOOO

a/n: this is the third fucking time i’ve tried to post this so if it doesn’t work i’m gonna cry. but I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS ONE and i can’t wait for you all to see what i’ve got planned. so uh...strap yourselves in it’s about to get crazy. sorry ms joke </3

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞: 𝐂𝐨𝐜𝐚’ 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬

The salty, warm breeze from the ocean whipped its way through Shota’s onyx locks, tossing them around with a gentle force. Miami was gorgeous from the water, skyscrapers alight with the buzzing energy of the city, streets crawling with good food and even better looking women. Gorgeous full lips wrapped around martini glasses, criminally short dresses clinging to any skin it was given. He didn’t care much for the nightlife, opting to observe the partygoers from a distance.

He wasn’t here to socialize.

He was here to work.

His wrists draped over the edge of the rail that separated him and the water, a small portion of his weight against the cool metal. When Hizashi suggested that he get a yacht he nearly spat out his whiskey, face contorted in an expression of annoyance and disdain. Shota didn’t understand why someone would need such a flashy boat, it was merely a watercraft meant for travel and or fishing. This wasn’t the 1400’s where one’s worth was tied to the size of a man’s ship. Just another glorified pissing contest for rich people with too much money, and not enough couple’s therapy in the world that could keep them home for days at a time.

It’s not as if he was in any position to judge though, his pinky coming to rest just below the silver band that rarely inhabited his ring finger these days. He doesn’t entirely know what possessed him to wear it, whether it be the ever-crushing guilt from lying to his wife, or the text he’d received from Emi this morning that read:

“Make sure to bring me back a mojito! Don’t work yourself too hard, and remember how much I love you!💕”

If only she knew that these tri-monthly “Inter-Departmental Hero Conferences” were just fronts for selling a literal boat-load of cocaine.

Turns out, yachts were really good for that.

In the span of just five years, superhuman society was nearing it’s peak. Upon the graduation of all the students in the 1-A Hero Course, and Izuku Midoriya’s induction as the new Symbol of Peace; the world began to see an astronomical shift. Crime rates were the lowest they’d ever been, with Japan and the States sitting at 2 and 4.5 percent, respectively. Newly minted Pro Heroes roamed the streets, bringing security to those who needed it and striking fear into the hearts of those who were on the wrong side of the law.

But this utopia came at a price. With the sudden influx of fresh and talented pros, crime decreased exponentially, leaving little villain-based work for Heroes to get paid for. Hostage situations and evacuation efforts took backseat to helping older women across the street and assisting young children with their schoolwork. Soon enough, peace became a burden for those whose careers surrounded chaos.

Aizawa was no exception to this dilemma. Once Midoriya and his classmates graduated and obtained their Hero Licenses, he’d ended his tenure as an instructor at UA. He felt that he’d done his civic duty as a teacher and a Pro, and produced some of the finest Heroes the world would come to see. So he began to settle down. Surprisingly, he’d begun to tolerate Joke’s incessant laughter and boisterous personality, and soon fell in love with the eccentric woman. Between patrols and giving advice to aspiring Heroes at the community center, he and Emi explored all the the world had to offer; swapping out steel-toed combat boots for soft plush flip flops against hot sand. After three years he’d proposed, much to Emi’s delight (and Ashido’s upon hearing that Mr. Aizawa could actually tolerate another human being). The ceremony was small, and intimate. Shinsou serving as the ring bearer, and Eri as the flower girl. Mic even shed a few tears during the toast, though he’ll deny it if Kayama ever brings it up.

For a while, things were good. Life was good. Emi was glowing with the energy of a new life blossoming inside her, and Shota fantasized about meeting his little girl, counting all of her dainty fingers and toes, and doting on her for all to see.

Or at least it was, before agencies began to close. Paychecks got smaller and smaller. Heroes were struggling to find work and their pockets began to struggle along with them. With Emi on maternity leave, and Hero society coming to a standstill, things were looking grim. He needed to provide for his family, his wife, his children.

He needed a plan, and fast.

Luckily, Hizashi always did have good standing with everyone’s favorite Bird Boy. So he called in a few favors.

“Just for a couple months man! We stir up a little bit of noise, make a couple ripples and bam! Crime rate’s back up, and we get back to makin’ money. It’s temporary. Nobody will ever know, I’ll make sure of it. I got you.” Hizashi pleaded, an arm slung across Aizawa’s shoulders as he pensively gazed into his glass of amber liquid. He’d done some vigilante work here and there in his twenties but this....this was outright criminal. But what choice did he have?

Just a few months, he’d said. If only it’d worked out that way.

“I was getting worried you wouldn’t show, Eraser!” Zhu thundered, hands clapping joyously at the other man’s timeliness. “That’s some boat you got there, let me guess...the wife’s idea?” He queried, eyebrows waggling emphatically as Aizawa descended from the metal ladder and onto the wooden pier; eyes rolling into the back of his head at Zhu’s...excitable personality. The two had known each other for about two years or so, having gotten acquainted over the course of Shota’s many trips between Japan and the States, and sometimes South America. Zhu Kanaka was a man of the lower ranks, opting to use his easygoing disposition to negotiate deals for Takami “Lord of The Skies” Keigo, better known as Hawks. Standing at a solid 6 foot 4, with thick black locks that spiked into a point reminiscent of an onion, thick bushy brows and a set jaw, you’d think he wouldn’t hesitate to punt anyone like a football.

At least until he opened his mouth.

“As it turns out, Emi hates the damn thing. Makes her seasick. Hizashi talked me into getting the fuckin’ eyesore.” He intoned. His left hand palmed his slacks for the emergency pack of cigarettes he kept in his back pocket for when he was stressed during a deal, although he never really needed them anymore after Eri said she wanted him to quit. He still held on to them though, just in case. “The hell you waiting for? You know the deal man. Let’s see it.” He muttered, silently willing for Zhu to get on with it so he could get in a bed. Three and a half hours on a goddamned boat (that you didn’t even want to begin with) will do that to you.

“Someone looks like he needs a nap. Alright, I got ya. Count it, make sure it’s all there. I had Thing 1 and Thing 2 back there pack it, so you might wanna double check.” Zhu quipped, jerking a thumb towards the two young men currently engaged in a heated game of Rock, Paper, Scissors; the pair of them flushing upon receiving one of Aizawa’s infamous stares. Two thick black duffles were handed to his two bodyguards, the men immediately unzipping and checking the stacks, a mental tally steadily climbing higher and higher as they sifted through the cash.

“He’s good. Four hundred thousand in each bag. It’s all there, Eraser.” Sato affirmed, Toru nodding alongside the man. “Good. Go ahead and call Jamie, tell him to bring the car around. Zhu, I’ll send Sato and Toru to help your men unload our shipment. It’s a hefty one, so you’ll need the assistance.” Shota offered, shoulders visibly relaxing at the thought of getting some alone time in an empty hotel room.

“Yeah that’d be great, thanks! How long you in town for?”

“Until about 3pm tomorrow. I’ll be on my flight back to Kyushu then.” He states, right arm extending to clasp the other man’s hand in a firm grip. “You’re goin to that meeting the Big Man’s holding in a few days right?” Zhu queries. “Unfortunately, yes. Gonna miss my little girl’s first doctor’s appointment for this shit.”

“No way! She had the baby?!?!? Congratulations man! How’s it feel?” Zhu exclaims, eyes alight with joy for his friend’s new addition to the family. “Feels good. She had a smooth pregnancy, everything worked out fine. Hana’s beautiful, and healthy. I couldn’t be more proud.” Shota brags slightly, heart swelling at the thought of his little girl and how proud he was to know he’d helped in making someone so...ethereal. “Wow. Raising another kid, you flying out all the damn time, along with whatever else you got goin on?? No wonder you look like shit.”

Red eyes and floating hair caused Zhu to immediately retract his former statement.

“Aw I’m just joshin’ Eraser! But I hear ya. It’s a lotta’ sacrifices that go into this, but they’re who we do it for. All of it. Ya know?” Zhu amends, eyes shimmering with the reflection of the city lights off of the water.

Did he even know who... or what he was doing this for anymore?

Shota found himself asking that question more and more often as of late.

“...Right.”

“Anyway, you’re probably spent, so I’ll leave you to it. It was good seeing you man, send Emi my love!” Zhu shouted as he slowly walked towards the men unloading his boat. “Likewise. Tell Macie and the kids I said hello.” Aizawa responded dryly, body screaming for some kind of relief from this exhaustion.

“Will do! Oh, by the way! You might wanna bring some cooler clothes and sunscreen with your pale ass, I hear Guadalajara’s pretty sunny around this time of year! See you in a few days man!” The male laughed, throwing him a wave as he slowly disappeared into the darkness of the port. Massaging the bridge of his nose in irritation, Aizawa nodded in acknowledgement as Jamie pulled up alongside him; his hand reaching for the handle and dragging his siphoned body into the backseat.

Jamie could sense his employer’s weary expression, and didn’t make any attempts at conversation, merely opting to start making his way to the hotel while smooth jazz floated through the car. Forehead against the door of the towncar, Shota typed out a quick message to his wife:

“Alcohol is the last thing you need sweetheart, and I love you too. Got another meeting in a few days, mandatory. I’ll in be in Mexico, so I’ll miss Hana’s appointment. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to the two of you.”

Sent.

The message sat for a few seconds before Emi read and typed out a response:

“Aw, bummer! </3 Dont worry, work is much more important right now. I’ll be sure to take lots of pictures!”

“You don’t have to make it up to us, you caring is enough. Get some sleep old man, me and the girls love you. xoxo, Wifey 😘 ”

He didn’t deserve her.

He didn’t deserve any of them.

This he knew. And yet, it didn’t stop him from responding to the unknown number that texted his phone every time he happened to be in town.

“Same time and place? Desperately in the mood to play....My toys just aren’t as good as yours, Eraser. ;)”

His heart sank. A beat passes. Then two.

Calloused thumbs move fluidly across the screen. He’s done this far too many times.

“Be there in 10. You know the routine.”

And in retrospect...he would’ve been way better off just blowing off Guadalajara and going to Hana’s appointment.

Because while he wrapped her slick ponytail around his hand, as a head that wasn’t his wife’s dipped between his legs, he didn’t think this would be his last moment of peace. Shoved down the throat of a woman who’s name he had long forgotten, settling for calling her whatever pet name he felt like adorning her with, her hands clawing at the soft and sleek cotton of his trousers.

Aizawa never anticipated that this would be the last time he would be in a room without immediate reinforcements, and be content.

The last time someone he didn’t trust with his life knew his location, and he wasn’t terrified.

The last moments of peace in his world before it all went to hell.

Temecula, California;

1:36am

The office floor was barren. Dark, coffee stained carpet congealed with the bacteria of old and new; giving it a sad beige color from the creamy foam-like white it was when the building was built. Cubicles cluttered with miscellaneous paperwork from separate departments, all of it raining down from desk to desk like a fresh layer of snow on the first day of winter. Tired, weary hands typed at a computer with precision and accuracy, the warm glow from the screen illuminating the buttons on her blouse as she plowed through each document. Her body raged for a moment of rest, but she couldn’t give in. Not when so much was at stake, not when so much needed to be done in so little time.

After a few minutes, and approximately twelve sips of bittersweet lukewarm coffee, the fingers came to a halt. A sigh of relief was freed from her body as she pushed the enter button on the dusty, tan keyboard and began to pack up for the night. Since the computers were set on an activity timer, there was no need for her to physically shut it down. After 30 seconds of no visible movement, the screen flashed a message declaring that the activity would be suspended within the next 2 minutes if no motion was detected. Content with her work, she slung her work bag over her shoulder, and trudged towards the elevator, mentally clocking out for the night.

As the elevator slowly carried its passenger down, the computer continued its countdown before discontinuing its power, leaving the following words for nobody but its future recipient to read:

Drug Enforcement Agency Operative Travel Request:

Agent: L/N, F/N

Current Operation: Potential formation of a rising cartel under the leadership and or affiliation of Pro Heroes Hawks, Endeavor, and Eraserhead. Agent has been undercover for eight months and twenty-seven days.

Investigation Status: Active

Location of Travel: Guadalajara, Mexico

Reason for Request: Possible gathering of multiple Hero-Run plazas to discuss further movement. Will gather more intel and gain trust of suspects involved/acquire more resources for investigation.

Travel Request Status: Accepted.

[pluviophile-imagines]

so, i have had this ask open for 2 days now lol just waiting until i had the brainpower to properly say what I wanted to, and I know I am still gonna butcher it, but here we go:

I absolutely loved the rainy night piece.

I love rain, I love thunderstorms, poor Reader's worst nightmare in that fic is the perfect night for me, and I miss living on a 21st floor when those kind of storms are going on because you feel like you are right there, in the middle of them. And your writing took me back to those nights. It was beautiful (sorry Reader-chan, you were agonizing and I was enjoying the ambiance). Thank you ♥

and then there was Bakugo. Bakugo who is very busy but picks up the phone nonetheless. who is obviously still mean and tough, but not when the person he cares about is obviously in distress. So we get a glimpse of soft Bakugo, who is still rough around the edges in all the right ways, and says the most ridiculous shit while fully meaning it.

So yes, loved this so much. thank you for posting it. ♥

See I put this in the tags, but I'm the same! I mean my theme is literally abt rain so I think it doesn't come as a surprise that I personally rlly love rain & storms lol. But that fic was written just. absolutely randomly bc I was startled awake by a storm the very night i posted it (the storm made me have a bit of a nightmare, tho i dont remember what it was about just being v scared when i woke up)

and my dad was still up when it happened, so when I went out of my room to get some water in the kitchen, I also stopped by to tell him to go to bed lol. he was still working but he took a little break to make me some sleepytime tea (and I wrote that fic on my phone while waiting) and well. that was that. to be honest i dont even remember posting it, waking up the next morning to find a ton of notes on it was hilariously confusing bc I thought I'd saved it in my drafts LMFAOOO its a miracle there's no spelling/grammar issues.

Anyway, nobody rlly cares abt that little story, but it's sweet to me. i think it's cool that y'all are going crazy for it, i don't think i've ever had such a strong reaction to any of my work so quickly. i'm rlly happy you enjoyed it! bakugo's absolutely the kind of guy who'd literally do anything for his s/o; the fact that he's dating you is proof that he's absolutely head-over-heels imo, he doesn't exactly do anything in moderation and he's not gonna date anyone he's not totally smitten for.

[charged-wanderlust]

a beautiful hurricane, pt. 3 | jett slater x mc x remy chevalier

THIS... THIS IS ALMOST 3K WORDS LMFAOOO well. i hope that makes up for the wait SDFGJSDHDS warning for mild smut ahead!!! anyway thank you so much @mcira for commissioning me, it helps me greatly and was so fun to do! if anyone else wants me to write them something, my commission prices are here!

What you really end up doing, instead of talking to Remy, is first, talking to Nikolai.

It only felt right - nobody knew Remy like Nikolai did, you’re pretty sure they dated once upon a time but refuse to talk about it, and Nikolai working with all of you made his approval very significant to the matter at hand.

“You’re asking for my blessing… to ask out Remy?” He blinks, dazed and confused, an uncommon expression from the mastermind himself. “Why do I have a say in who he dates?”

“It’s less asking for permission and more like asking for advice,” you explain quickly, scratching awkwardly at the back of your neck. “We know Remy is the jealous type, that much is obvious. So we just wanna know what you think on the whole polyamory thing - would Remy try it? Do you know how he feels about.. about us?”

Nikolai scoffs, his signature smirk returning. “The real question is, who doesn’t know how he feels about you two?” His words make you and Jett flush parallel shades of red, but you let him continue. “Yes, he’s definitely in love with you both. And that’s precisely why he hasn’t done anything about it; he doesn’t think he deserves one partner, let alone two. Instead, he drags out this con as long as physically possible just so he can pretend to be your husband a little bit longer, pretend like he can have you before you inevitably end up with Jett.”

Jett strokes his chin in thought, gears turning in his brain. “That would also explain why he’s been a lot more forward with me lately, but only when MC isn’t around… wow, he really thinks it’s his last chance, huh?”

He nods. “Exactly. In his head, he’s not worthy of love and you two deserve each other and are perfect together. I don’t even think the thought of polyamory has even crossed his mind.”

“Well it should!” Jett protests, like it means anything to Nikolai. “We both wanna date him, and he wants both of us! What now?”

“What do you think?” Nikolai asks it like it’s the most obvious question in the world. “You ask him.”

-

It has to be dramatic, you’d decided. Something awe-inducing, something solid and concrete so he can’t argue - because if there’s one thing Remy Chevalier knows how to do, it’s argue. You work with the Poppy to get Remy out of the penthouse - Vivienne might have poisoned him just a little to get the job done - long enough to stuff his room with lilies of the valley, and you help Jett paint the border of Remy’s mirror with all the little things you can think of that have some semblance of importance to you.

Making sure to use easy-to-remove paints, the two of you get carried away, branching from the edges of his mirror onto the walls, painting sunsets shared and fireworks made and foods had together. You and Jett work in perfect tandem with each other, art connecting to make one big picture that almost looks like a time-lapse of all the time you’d spent with him; the sunset where Jett realised his love for Remy all those years ago fading into the ice cream shop you discovered Remy’s favourite flavour was vanilla, fading into the river you all boated down together and learned that Remy has a surprisingly sweet singing voice.

Jett keeps pausing in the middle of his paintings, though, and eventually it becomes enough to make you ask.

“Jett? At first I thought you were just thinking about the painting real hard, but you’re not even looking at it. What’s wrong?”

You thought he was starting to get insecure, but instead, he laughs. He laughs and it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard.

“Nothing’s wrong, love, I’m looking at you.”

“Oh.”

“You’re most attractive when you’re in your element like this, I think,” he explains, touching up the clouds on his side of the wall. “I just can’t help but think of how lucky I am.”

About an hour too early, the door flies open, and both of you whip around to find Remy in the doorway.

“Ah-ha I knew you guys were… up to… something…..” His voice trails off as he takes in the view before him, the flowers he’d only ever given those he’d loved, the paintings that he recognised the meanings of instantly, his own face in the mirror with a little crown painted atop his head- “What… what is all this? I thought it’d be another prank but… this… this is beautiful…”

You exchange a look with Jett, grinning from ear to ear, and gesture Remy to come sit on the bed with you.

“Oh-ho-ho, this is a really elaborate one is it? Let me guess. All of this for a really well-timed whoopee cushion?”

“How you wound me,” Jett sighs, bringing his hand to his forehead. “You really think that low of us?”

“I assure you, Remy,” you chip in, “I wouldn’t spend this much effort on a prank.”

“Then what else?”

Once again, you turn to Jett, who looks just as uncertain of what to say as you are. “Uh. Something important?”

Taking a deep breath, you figure you’re going to have to do the talking for the both of you.

“I’m gonna start talking, Remy, and I don’t want you to say shit till I say I’m finished. Okay?”

Remy is completely and utterly bewildered, but he nods slowly and sits on the bed, door shutting behind him as he observes the memories plastered all over his bedroom wall.

“We’re in love with you,” Jett blurts out, and it startles you so much you elbow him in the rib.

“What was that for?!”

“Ever heard of laying it on slowly?!”

“You’re… what?”

You sigh, gathering the courage to look Remy in the eyes as you talk. “Remy… over these past few months, working with you, getting to know you, the real you - the Remy underneath all those masks you wear to please people - I find I don’t want to stop being yours when the con ends. I-If you’ll have me, that is. And if you’ll have Jett, too.”

“It wasn’t the marriage con we did once that made me fall for you, actually,” Jett laughs, running a hand through his hair. “It was before that. That one kiss on the rooftop in Buenos Aires when the sun rose, when we didn’t go any further than that. All of a sudden it wasn’t about the sex anymore, or how good of a kisser you are - it was about you. Just you.”

“And before you butt in about me falling in love with you because you’re acting as my husband,” you interject, giving him a stern, knowing look that makes him shrink a little, “You’ve been teaching me all your tricks. I know when you’re being real or not. You can even test me.”

Something changes is Remy’s eyes when you say that, and he fixes them on yours.

“I love you.��

“That’s real.”

He smiles, but it’s the smile of a broken man, getting up to leave. “It’s not, ma cherie. You’re not as good as you think you are.”

“That’s also a lie!” He freezes, pinned under your glare, and you grab his hand, threading your fingers with his. Jett does the same with his other hand, face uncharacteristically solemn, and once again, Remy is speechless. “That’s what you want to believe, Remy, you’re lying to yourself more than anyone else. You think you’re getting in the way of us, you think you don’t deserve it but let me tell you, there’s a way. We can love you as much as we love each other - we do, and if you don’t wanna believe it that’s your own loss because we really, really care about you!”

The silence is is deafening enough to make your hands tremble.

“That- That’s all I have to say. Jett?”

“I’ve never been good with words,” Jett huffs, bringing Remy’s hand to his mouth and pressing a gentle kiss across the man’s knuckles. “But I can prove how I feel about you in any way you ask, Remy. Through touch, through action, hell, through painting-” he gestures at the colourful wall behind him in exasperation, “-it’s all for you. These are all memories-”

“The time we had brunch on a boat,” Remy cut in, gazing fondly at the river painted atop his mirror. “The time in Bruges we kissed to be inconspicuous… the time I brought you ice cream tasting…” His eyes landed on the flowers adorning the sides of his room. “The flowers I’d given you.”

His mouth opens and closes like he’s trying to speak underwater, but he’s ran out of air - ran out of words - so instead, he wraps an arm around each of you and pulls you in for a soul-crushing hug, burying his face in your shoulders. He doesn’t make a noise, but his body quivers, and you and Jett realise he’s crying at the same time.

“I-I love you both, too.” His voice is small, but not weary - it’s just for you and Jett only, not the ears in the walls. “I love you both so much it-it- it hurts and I didn’t know what to do with myself and I just-”

He sits back up, wiping the tears from his face and giving you a real smile this time, the smile you see in your sketchbook, your dreams, your future - “It’s just too good to be true, almost. Like there’s meant to be a catch.”

Jett cups Remy’s face, kissing him softly, briefly, but enough to send tingles down his spine.

“The catch is you’re going to have to deal with both of us and all the shenanigans that ensue.”

Remy returns the kiss, just as chaste but just as lovingly. “I guess I have my hands full, then.”

“You sure do!” You laugh, climbing into his lap, jokingly shoving Jett aside - to which he yelps, “hey!” - and bringing your face close to Remy’s. “My turn, Remy. You told me a real kiss could tear open the sky. Care to demonstrate?”

He doesn’t waste a moment. You feel his smirk against your lips before you see it, welcoming the blistering heat as he pulls you closer to him, chest to chest. Finally, finally, finally - you thread your fingers in his long, silky hair, just like you’ve imagined so long, and all the teasing was so worth it because he kisses you like he can’t live without it. Maybe he can’t, not now that he’s had a taste and it really does break open the sky; the whole galaxy and beyond.

Getting impatient, Jett moves behind you, knocking Remy back onto the mattress and pinning you between them. He doesn’t expect you to stop kissing Remy - he knows firsthand how addicting his kiss is - instead, he tosses your hair over one shoulder and places his lips upon your now exposed neck, light, not tentative but tantalizing.

“Jett…”

“Oh, don’t let me interrupt you two,” he purrs next to your ear, ghosting his lips across the shell. “I’m quite enjoying the show.”

“You tease,” Remy half-chuckles-half-rasps, reaching past you to grab Jett’s collar and yank him down into another searing kiss, only to bite his lip harsh enough to make him gasp, then pulling back to leave him hanging.

Jett licks his lips, eyes flashing at the unspoken challenge. “So how are we doing this, then?”

“We’ve danced this dance before, you and I,” Remy muses, tracing Jett’s jawline with the pad of his thumb, “We should let MC decide.”

“I’ve danced this dance with both of you,” Jett snickers, peeling off the two of you to start working the buckles of his suspenders, giving you a cheeky wink. “Maybe I should give you tips. For example…”

He rolls you off Remy, pinning your wrists above your head, “MC likes being manhandled a little bit. And she’s really sensitive right here-” He sucks at the soft skin above your collarbone and you let out a soft whine on instinct, embarrassment painted all over your face, but you don’t miss the way Remy’s eyes darken at the sound.

“Good to know… any other tips I should know?”

“Ah-ah-ah, it should be fair for both of you.”

This time, he cages Remy to the bed, and you watch with rapt attention as he hikes the other man’s shirt up, giving you a brilliant view of his toned muscles. Jett leans down and drags his teeth along his v-line, making his legs twitch beneath him.

“Ah- Jett, you’re a menace.”

“You love it.”

A disgruntled sigh is the only confirmation he gives, but the smile on his face says it all as he shrugs off his shirt entirely, throwing it somewhere else in the room. “I quite preferred MC on top of me, actually.”

“Mm, it is a good look on you,” Jett agrees, helping you out of your clothes with surprising calmness compared to his usual frenzied movements. Clearly, Remy brings out the side of him that likes to really savour it.

Remy can’t help but groan at the sight of you in all your glory, taking Jett’s advice from earlier and tugging you atop him impatiently - maybe Jett brought out the beast in Remy, too.

Emboldened by his eagerness, you grind down on him, and the low rumble you hear from him in response is music to your ears. “I didn’t know our Remy was so… vocal.”

“Oh, you haven’t heard him when he’s taking it-”

“If we have to bring that up, mon coeur, I think you have me beat.”

You giggle, magnetically drawn to his lips once more while your hands fumble with his belt; Jett helps you discard the remaining cloth in the way so you and Remy finally, finally come together - it’s electric. You feel the static buzz all the way down to your toes, and it’s so, so good.

“Think you can handle both of us, love?” Jett peppers your shoulder blades with kisses, and while just the thought makes you shudder - you nod, almost too enthusiastically.

“I want it.”

“Good girl.”

The addition of Jett fills the room the with a chorus of moans that you can barely tell who from who. They give you a minute to adjust - ever the gentlemen - and next thing you know is an all-encompassing pleasure that pulses through your whole body, and you swear you can see stars. You have to bite down on Remy’s shoulder to not alert the entire building of the debauchery going on in the room, but he just grips your hips harder, growling deep in his chest.

“Don’t hold back on me, ma reveuse. Let us hear you.”

Who are you to deny him?

Noise complaints be damned, you think - the Poppy had stayed in town for this very reason. With every movement from Remy and Jett, your mind goes blank, only able to focus on the two of them working in perfect harmony, their hips, their lips, their hands, their voices, just them, them, them.

“C-Christ, you’re incredible- you’re both incredible. I’m- I’m-”

Jett’s pace stutters, but Remy keeps going, absolutely voracious, and your highs all crash down at once. Your back arches, toes curl, and you don’t even recognise the sounds leaving your mouth, but your two boyfriends ride out the wave with you, muttering choked-up praise in your ear and hushed I love you’s until your soul finally returns to your body.

The three of you collapse on the bed, a tangle of limbs and sweat, and Jett has the audacity to laugh. Not even having the breath to reply, you just tilt your head at him, raising a brow in question.

“Hah- If I knew this was how it would’ve ended up, I would’ve asked you both out a lot sooner, fuck…”

You gave him a worn-out, lazy grin. “I don’t think I can feel my legs.”

Remy pecks your cheek affectionately, rolling out of bed to head for the bathroom. “I’ll get you a towel.”

“You did great, love,” Jett hums softly, stroking your hair rhythmically, gazing at you with entire galaxies behind his eyes. “Don’t worry. Between me and Remy, we can carry you everywhere until you can walk again.”

“I’d kiss that stupid smirk off your face if I had the energy,” you huff, crossing your arms. “You’re way too smug for your own good.”

“You love it.”

Remy returns with a damp towel, gently wiping you down with enough care to turn your limbs to jelly if they weren’t already bone-tired. “We do, unfortunately. What a shame.”

Jett weakly whacks him on the shoulder, and the three of you laugh together like the notes of a perfect chord. It’s hectic, all of you being together, but it’s perfect. Life never did stop being a hurricane, but with these two by your side, you know you can surrender to the harsh winds, letting it carry you along like a roller coaster - heart always thumping, eyes always shining.

You never knew a hurricane could be so beautiful.