#the way she talks about our other friend who hasnt done anything wrong is so fucked up

[leynaeithnea]

Hi :)

here is a lil ask to use whenever you're ready to go insane about love in paradise ( go nuts with your analysis!!! Make it a thousand pages essay!!! Or half a sentence, anything you want love<3 )

YeS YES YES YES THANK YOU AAAH here you go seven pages/3600 words essay :>

TW, for SA/Sxcide mention/discussion, you know the deal with the song

29. Love In Paradise

THE DIVE INTO THE SOUND SCAPE WITH THE CHOIR, the melody, and the clicking clock??? SO GOOD

“Old friend” FRIEND Aaaah U FINIALLY ADMIT IT

“It′s been 10 years since I last saw you” YOU DIDNT CHECK ON HIM IN 10 YEARS GIRL

“Remember me, I am the infamous, Odysseus!, Oh, woah-oh, woah-oh” This was the last time she saw him, its been 10 years, she quick minded him right after that, and HASNT SEEN HIM SINCE--- i love how it is sped up and you can visualize her literally diving through his memories in a timelapse

“Let’s see where you′ve been” FINIALLY, but also thE VOCAL PERFORMANCE (this is me like 90% of this saga, im obssessed)

I LOVE the soundscape of the flashbacks, the way that sounds with a mild echo like in big room? just...in his mind?? IDK how to call it but ITS SO GOOD

“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer” - the first thing that went wrong “Ruthlessness is mercy upon oursel-” BIG THING THAT WENT WRONG

“One wrong move and you’re done for

Anything I-” close call

“Song of past romance I see the” smart way to recall the underworld saga AND bring up the sirens, followed by

“We won’t take more suffering from you”, the way that ody embraced his monster

“Drown in your sorrow and fears” -that didnt go well very long, also, timelaps is slowing down, we’re getting closer to the events that answer where he spent the last years

“Captain? - I have to see her - But we′ll die -I know”, the last moments before he disappeared, making him suffer terribly again at the hands of her father >:)

“Odysseus... where did you go?” she sounds so worrieddddd, her voice tho, pls mother dearest

THE MUSIC, is so coool the island vibes? the dodo do do dodo, the birds and the shore and the....instrument whos name i forgot the tip-tap thing is soo comfy vibesssss, beach island holiday vibes!!

“Morning, sleepyhead, You′ve been resting for a while, I swore that you were dead when you washed up on my isle”.......i need...visuals......i need the most angsty visuals i can get of this, please, i need to see him wash up, more dead then alive and then unconscious for who knows how long, with his stab wound, the concussion from Eurys punch, whatever wounds he got from the lighting hitting his ship AND almost drowning, getting taking care of by her until he wakes up again...

“Did you know you talk in your sleep? Tell me though, who’s Penelope?” ........is she hoping that he’ll say his sister or was she just trying to make small talk?

“She′s my wife”, he sounds so tired/distanced from the situation, her reminding him instantly of the one thing he’s holding on to, maybe remembering what just happened, he needs to go back...

HER SILENCE AFTER THAT IS SO TELLINGS SEGGSEIGS THE ANIMATIC WAS HILARIOUS, i love gigi

and then the “anyways!” WHAT DO YOU MEAN “ANYWAYS” SHE IS HIS LOVE HIS LIGHT HIS REASON YOU DONT ANYWAYS PENELOPE ahem, im vibing so hard to this tho

“I’ve got all you could want here, all you could need here” sounds nice, i would 100% fall under her spell, her voice is beatiful

“Just you and me, my dear, my love for life” uh oh where is this going, huh?? huh???? >:) Ma’am, this is not yours

“Soon, into bed we′ll climb and spend our time” DONT U FUCKING DARE TOUCH HIM HES BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH HES THE ONLY FAITHFUL MAN IN ANCIENT GREECE LET HIM BEEEEEEEEE

“I’m not your man-” THE JUST A MAN REPHRASING? EXCUSE ME???? this is going so differently compared to Circes there are other ways, he has no interest in her, all he wants is to go back home, hes sacrificed the rest of his crew for that, he. needs. to go. home. (the delivery tho omg so good)

“I′m what you want here, I’m what you need here, Just you and me, my love in paradise, Now ‘til the end of time” he does not need you, he does not want you, this is not paradise for him, get the fuq away from my baby girl odysseus, i know youre lonely on your little island, i know zeus did you wrong, BUT THAT DOES NOT GIVE YOU ANY RIGHT TO TAKE CLAIM TO ODYSSEUS; HE IS NOT YOUR MAN

“From here on out, you′re mine, all mine” possissive much, fuck off >:) also thats what he greets him with? thats....not...no. he’s been through so much, he fought in a war he never wanted to go to for ten years, he used a wooden horse to finially end the war because he just needed to go back home, he had to kill a child to choose his family, they were safe on their way home when his best friend got killed, then they almost made it home, but the bag was opened, most of his crew died, his men got turned into pigs and he got another round of the gods playing games with him (see: hermes telling Ody not to refuse circe in homers odyssey when she wants to take him to bed, so he doesnt, he cant refuse the demands of gods), once they finially leave their island with his men back as humans, they have to go through the underworld where EVERY loss he had (which are more than he knew) comes back to haunt him, he learns his family is in danger, theres blood in his palace, all his mercy is harming him, so he embraces the thing he never wanted to be - a monster - and when the sirens come, he kills them, but he has to go further than that, the only way to get home is to sacrifice six of his men, so he does, six more men to haunt his dreams, if thats the price he has to pay he will, but his men turn on him, his trusted brother in law, not only opened the windbag, now he also starts a mutiny, the men he tried to bring home so badly betray him, stab him, bind him to a statue and he can do nothing but watch as they kill the cattle, his doom is sealed, zeus shows up and tells him to either choose himself, or his crew, hes a broken man, how much more has he to go through before he can go home? but he has to home to his family, so he chooses, his last decision he has to make, and he sinks into the ocean, thinking maybe, he can finally close his eyes, he needs to go home but he is so tired of suffering he would welcome an end of it...but then he wakes up, on this peaceful island, with a woman next to him, who suddenly puts claim on him, she wants him IN HER BED??? He needs to go home. he’s alive, he survived zeus and poseidon and aelus and circe and the underoworld and the war and-...he became the monster, he knows what to do, just another face in his nightmares to get home

“Hell no, I could kill you where you stand” he just has to be the monster

“I′m no pet, I’m a married man” HE HAS TO HIGHLIGHT THAT HE IS MARRIED TO HER AH, the fact that he feels like she sees him as a pet? picked up like a stray dog and kept as a pet....he is not that, i also love his electric guitar is in the background together with the ticking clock of the time dive

“Oh handsome, you may try, But last I checked, goddesses can′t die” she doesnt feel threatened by him at all, because she is a goddess, how could a mortal man refuse her? he cant, even if he tries, he has no choice (but also, i hate jorge for dropping this line, just before godgames, ITS LEAVING US NOT KNOWIng WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED THERE)

THEN THE DROP IN THE MUSIC AH its becoming so imposing and threatening AND ITS SO COOL

“Goddess?” terrified, here they go again, another goddess, he is powerless against these forces, it cant be, he needs to get home, how can his luck be so bad?

“You’re adorable” SHE DOES SEE HIM LIKE A PET, HE CALLS HIM CUTE; HE DOESNT FEEL ANY THREAT FROM HIM; HES A GODDESS HES JUST A MAN AH

“Bow down now to the immortal Calypso” CALYPSO YOU BITCH LEAVE MY MAN ALONE; but liek The fuQing audacity? to ask him to bow down? you just told him hes the love of your life and now you ask him to bow down???? THE POWER IMBALANce is so stRONG IN THIS ONE I CANT EVEN

“Here to entertain” entertain who? mh?? YOURSELF? with your new “pet”? NO shut up

“But fear not, I bring no pain” Calpyso, come a bit closer so i can punch you, youre KEPEign him on YOUR ISLAND; THE LACK OF ACTion IS WHATS goNNA KILL HIM; NOT YOU HURTING HIM PHYSICALLY; YOU TORTURE HIM IN the WORST WAYS emotionALLY SO GET AWAYYYYYYYYYY FROM PENELOPES MAN

“Cause we′ve got, All we could want here, All we could need here”, the way she keeps approaching him, dancing around him and trying to get close, while he keeps backing away and trying to get away From her is killing me, they have everything they need to survive yes, which means he does not have to do any work, he has NOTHING to distract him from you, all he can do is do what you tell him to because youre a goddess and he’s at your mercy and SUFFER sitting with his own thoughts and all his regret and shame and pain and trauma and yearing to go back home

“Under my spell, we’re stuck in paradise” fuck you. this is not paradise, this is hell :) :) :) RELEASE HIM

“No one can come or go, my island stays unknown” this, might very well be the worst moment for Ody so far, after EVERYTHING he’s been through. He choose his crew to die, it was supposed to be the last decision, it was supposed to be the climatic event before the end, all the expectations and tensions that rose in him getting set so high but instead..... nothing happens, he gets stuck in “paradise”, no monsters to fight,its not violent, theres no external threads to his life, things should be good, and happy and peaceful. its anti-climatic, and stifling because he has no way to release all this tension, its just stagnation, and all this tension getting internalized, it might very well be worse than having something you can fight against, but Calypso is a goddess, he cant harm her, her spell keeps him stuck on the island, he is powerless. His goal, his reason, his hope impossibly out of reach, all in the hand of this goddess, who doesn’t take no as an answer

“no, no” i love how Jorge wrote another “suffering” thing again, where the last syllable of one speaker gets picked up by the other “unknown” “no” becoming “Unknowno,no” its SO GOOD, but also the implications???? the last time we had this a siren wanted to seduce him and lure him into the water, now its a goddess wanting to lure him into loving and staying with her, again, he tries to find excuses and fend her off, his argumentation is a lot weaker than with the sirens though, he doesnt have a way out, all he can do is refuse and pray she listens, also CALYPSO BITCH THERES NO CLEARER WAY HE COULDVE SAID “NO”; LEAVE HIM BE; HE SAID NO FUCKING ACCEPT THAT HE DOES NOT CONSENT

“I don′t belong here”, he doesnt, time passes, he has to tell himself that this isnt where he’s meant to be, he needs to go, he has to leave.

“There’s something wrong here”, how many times do you think he almost gave in? how many times do you think she was lured in by her spell only to shake the spell off again because he kept feeling that something was wrong, never really falling under her spell, never staying under it for long, because its wrong, this isnt where he needs to be, he needs to get home because his family is waiting at home, theyre in danger.

“I won’t be drawn to love in paradise, not ′til the end of time, there is no way” she just has nothing on penelope. and he will never be interested in calypso as seductive as she tries to be, circe failed, calyspo fails even worse (i love these vocal performances man, theyre SO GOOD)

“You′re mine, all mine” Annnnnd she doesnt take no as answer again, shes so possessive I HATE it, how she drowns out Odys “theres no way - youre mine, all mine” she drowns out and swallows up his voice, ignores him, his voice goes unheard...

and we go back to the clock ticking of the time dive of athena

“Seven years, she’s kept you trapped, out of your control, time can take a heavy toll” SEVEN. YEARS. sagnation for SEVEN YEARS. THIS IS TERRIBlE, Athena sounds so sad...and concerned, from what she’s seen, but just...imagine that, he fought in troy for 10 years, now odys been stuck on this island for almost just as long, and before that he had EVERYTHING ELSE happen to him, feeling powerless against outside forces for YEARS, it weights down in him, all he can do is internalize it, because there is no monster he can fight, but himself. and...we can hear the danger motif in the choir.....because...he’s become a danger to himself....

the soundscape shifts again, we go back into a memory, its raining and windy, at the beach

“Odysseus?”, she geninuely sounds concerened, what could make her concerned i wonder....

“All I hear are screams”,...he...he’s broken, a callback to the underworld, he sounds defeated, hopeless, dissociative

“Ody”...Ody......you dare call him ody? you may have known each other for seven years but you DID NOT treat him right, you have no RIGHT to call him that, the last person who called him Ody was Eurylochus before he signed their doom.

“Get away from the ledge”....hes.....on his last rope, its been seven years since he sacrificed his last crew, ten years since he lost polites, eight since he lost most of his crew, twenty years since he last saw his family, she wants to keep him at the island for eternity, he cant leave, theres no way out, so now he’s here, on the cliffs edge staring out into the deepths below, knowing that Poseidon is still out to get him, but behind him is a Goddess that made him suffer just as bad, if not worse, rly is there any way to escape?

“You don′t know what I’ve gone through, You don′t know what I’ve sacrificed, every comrade I long knew, every friend, I saw them die”, its been more than seven years, and they still haunt his every waking and sleeping hour. he sacrificed everything to get back home, and yet it was not enough, now hes stuck here, and all sacrfices were for nothing, and he has nothing to distract him, when the goddess doesnt want his attention, he just....sits at the beach replaying their deaths over and over in his mind. [One translation of the scenes in Homers Odyseey: She found him sitting on the shore, his eyes as ever wet with tears, life’s sweetness ebbing from him in longing for his home, since the Nymph no longer pleased him. He was forced to sleep with her in the hollow cave at night, as she wished though he did not, but by day he sat among rocks or sand, tormenting himself with tears, groans and anguish, gazing with wet eyes at the restless sea] just....for SEVEN years? good gods, homer really said “how much trauma can we fit into this one man”

“And all I hear are screams” .....and all he hears are their screams

“(It will be fine dear)”, it wont, fuck off, not as long as you keep him trapped

“Come back inside, dear” ..............i...come back inside? to do what? remind him that hes stuck with you? force him to-............my rage is endless.

“Love of my life, come back to paradise” HE DOESNT LOVE YOU; STOP CALLING HIM THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, THIS IS STILL NOT PARADISE; DONT::::TRY TO ....BEWITCH HIM, YOU SELFISH BIch

“Let me close my eyes”, hes...so....sooo..so tired. he just wants to close his eyes..and..not open them anymore, doesnt he? He sang to the infant “to close your eyes to spare yourself the view”, he wants to do the same, hes so so tired.....

“I know your life′s been hard”, you have no idea

“I’ll stay inside your heart”,....did you just......did...you really just......use the words his mother said to him in the underworld? ...............

“All I hear are screams!” hes having flashbacks, the ghosts of his past keep haunting him, and shes making it so, so mcuh worse

“(I love you my dear) I love our time here

Life would be so much worse If you had died” YOUR LIFE, the worst part is, she doesnt say this because Ody deserves better, she says this because if he was gone, she would be alone again, and she just wants to have him, own him, have him be hers

“(Just let me close my eyes)”, she doesnt...let him close his eyes, he spents the nights in her bed against his will, and the days, crying at the beach, and when he sleeps he must be haunted by nightmares......theres no rest ever really.

“Please stay from away from harm, Stay in my open arms.......................she..just....made it so so much worse, ALSO JORGE; JORGE WHEN I CATCH YOU JORGE HOW DARE YOU HOW DARE YOU SLAP OPEN ARMS AT US AGAIN WILL POLITES NEVER STOP HAUNTING THE NARRATIVE, Calyspo rly threw “Ody”, “stay inside your heart” and “open arms” at him consecutively, while he was already deep down the trenches.and now......

“(All I hear are-)” what he hears is....

“This life is amazing when you greet it with open arms, Whatever we face, we’ll be fine if we′re leading from the heart, No matter the place, we can light up the world here′s how to start Greet the world with open arms, greet the world with open”

Polites, all his opens, and promises, and he cant live up to it, he tried, he tries so HARD to greet the world with open arms, but he cant, but ruthlessness did not help him either, he misses polites, he was the last person he had at sea who TRULY cared for him, hes having a flashback, PTSD so badly as he is standing at the edge of the cliff, i can just see him falling to his knees, crying and then...

“How much longer till your luck runs out? How much longer till the show goes south? How much longer till we all fall down?”, he hears eurys warning, how much longer till his liuck runs out? his luck has run out, for years now, and hes still stuck, everything has turned bad, the show went south, they all fell down and yet.....

“Waiting..waaiting” his mom....said shed stay inside his heart, he took too long, its been twenty years since he left home, how many other people are waiting for him while is stuck on the island? all these voices are just...inside his head all the time and cant shake them off.

“ooohooooh...ohhh” THE VOCAL PERFORMANCE JORGE- JORGE-... hes just screaming, trying to drown out the voices in his head as he’s breaking down....he wants to let go, he cant let go, he needs to get back home, his family is in danger, theres no one who could help him, the only one, who might have been able to do something, his ally, left him ten years ago, when he defied her, but she is a goddess, if she has any mercy left...maybe...jsut maybe...she could help him...but she wouldnt really listen to him would she? how often has he prayed to her in those years? or has he refused to call out for her in fear of facing more rejection? but...he cant do this any longer, this is ...the very last thing he can do....and so he calls out for her.

“Athena!”, praying that what has been broken can be amended. at least with her.

“He needs my help” and his cry gets heard......athena voice breaks, when she sees how far her friend has fallen.

.....and she decides to do something about it

Oh boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, I was worried about this song, how Jorge would choose to tackle the whole situation with calypso, while sticking to his “sfw” rule, AND I DID NOT GET DISAPPOINTeD QUITe on the cONtrary IM OBSSESED WITH IT

also the way polites is in one ear, Eury in the other and his mother all around him? the two sides that Ody had back then, polites more positive, and eury as more devil and both are gone and then his mother is just ALL AROUND HIM

typing this up took a couple of days, but if you will excuse me, imma go cry in a corner now

[suffercerebral]

: )

[blxetsi]

do you write for zeke? if so could you please do some boyfriend!zeke (modern au) hcs? thanks🥺

tysm for requesting !!!

modern zeke jaeger dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

zeke jaeger x gn!reader

- biggest tease ever.

- i think you two wouldve started off as friends to lovers yk 😌✨

- v funny v teasing will make fun of you no matter what

- but its all lighthearted and you can genuinely tell hes joking and doesnt mean what he says

- hes a coffee person. all the way.

- almost always seen with a coffee in his hand

- after you keep stealing sips of whatever hes got he finally just caves in and will bring you your own drink whenever he sees you

- if you dont drink coffee, but prefer a sugary drink or something he'll tease you about it

- hes a very relaxed person and doesnt get jealous, hes not someone that will go balistic and get angry when you hug a friend he doesnt know or whatever

- also would be really cool with your exes if youre cool with them, like "oh yeah i remember you telling me abt them, congrats on your engagement btw" just a very civil man

- if he does have insecurities about your relationship he just kind of, wont say anything ???

- not that he doesnt want to he just doesnt know how to bring it up

- bae pls learn how to talk abt your feelings 😁👍

- anyways after a little bit youll notice somethings wrong, but he'll try and act "strong" bc thats what he thinks hes supposed to be for you

- baby no u can be vulnerable its okay 😐🤚

- he finally lets everything go and has a really long and progressive conversation with you about everything, and you guys work it all out !

- you assure him its okay to be honest and that hes always welcome to talk to you about how hes feeling and his heart just swells

- im also a firm believer in that zeke genuinely doesnt care what you look like, if he finds you cool he finds you cool, he dgaf

- poc ?? he loves you. plus sized ?? he loves you.

- if you even THINK of being like "lol im insecure" hes shutting it down and talking abt how beautiful he finds you

- hes also someone that likes to push you out of your comfort zone, but in baby steps ?? like hes not going to force you to do something when you say "zeke im genuinely not comfortable with this" but if youre very shy he'll try and help you kind of,, not be as shy (hopefully this makes sense 😁👍)

- also loves to cook with you.

- his favourite types of dates are just when you two go to each others' homes and just cook dinner together ?? maybe drink some wine while you chop vegetables and work together (if you drink obv, if you dont he wont drink either even if you say its okay)

- he thinks it makes the food taste better because "it was made with our love" yeah ok ig 🙄🙏

- his family is really cool !! his dads a doctor and his step moms a social worker, and theyre really nice people !! his younger brother is in college but after a while he grows to love you like a sibling

- his mom lives a couple hours away, so he only gets to see her during holidays, but shes a very kind woman who owns an art shop !

- hes a very family oriented man, and really likes that you like his family and vice versa, he thinks its really important that his s/o and family get along

- when hes with you he sees himself being with you for the long run, im talking marriage and kids (if thats what you want) but definitely marriage

- if you two had different friend groups i think it would be hard for either of you to kind of fit in with each others friends, but after a while you two get the hang of it and it gets easier to see them !!

- is the kind of guy who'll wake you up with kisses on your cheek 🤩

- also likes to spoon you or have your head on his chest. will NOT be the baby spoon no matter what.

- also the kind of guy who dramatically stretches and yawns in the morning

- likes it when you hold his hand, even if you guys are just sitting together on the couch watching something, its so simple and subtle but it makes him really happy

- if you have an office at home that you work in a lot, he'll come and check on you when it gets late. will just rub and pat your head and ask what youre working on, and ask if youll be done soon

- if youre stressing on something that needs to be done THAT NIGHT he understands and will just leave you to it

- when you come to bed late it wakes him up but hes glad it does bc then he can pull you into his arms 😌✨

- zeke has very warm hands, to the point where sometimes theyre sweaty and clammy, so when you have a stomach ache or cramps he has no problem just laying down behind you and rubbing your stomach where it hurts

- if you have a weird interest or hobby he wont discourage it as long as its not hurting you or anybody else, he'll try and get into it to but if he cant no harm done, he'll respect it and you

- i think he would have some acne scars on his cheeks from highschool (puberty am i right 🙄😤⁉️) and thats one of the reasons why he has a beard, just to make it hard to see

- its mostly bc hes cool though, and although he started growing it out BECAUSE he found the scarring weird, as hes gotten older he just doest care anymore

- if you think he looks hot clean shaven he'll do it for u, and he loves the compliments you give him

- zeke is the kind of guy that will flip through the tabloid magazines at checkout

- "babe did you know that jennifer lawrence has a dark secret ??" "i- i did not 😁"

- also the kind of guy that will laugh if he sees kids falling in public

- if he was a father he'd help his kid up obviously, but would do it while giggling the whole time

- has dad handwriting (u know what im talking about)

- everytime he calls his brother he answers with "hey asshole" ??? brotherly love 🙈✨

- is very into horror films, but ONLY good ones

- so like hereditary, midsommar, and black swan are some ones he loves

- the kind of guy that has captain crunch for breakfast every morning

- theres this guy at the law firm he works at that he has a "rivalry" of sorts with, his names levi and from what youve been told hes actually very intimidating ??

- loves to read and will read to you if you ask, would have you in between his legs with your back to his chest on the bed, and he'd have one hand in yours and the other holding whatever book you choose

- zeke needs to be in complete darkness to sleep but needs to have a room as bright as possible to be productive. so every morning after he stretches and gets out of bed hes immediately opening his curtains and letting light into the room because "its the only way he'll actually get ready"

- if he was ever to pop the question he'd do it alone at a very mundane time, just like "wow this is the moment" and ask you to marry him. doesnt matter if he has a ring or not, hes ready, and he realizes this, and he finds the beauty in just doing something so simple with you. hes content and happy, and you make him see life in things he hasnt before, and hes ready for the commitment that comes with marriage, and hes in love with you.

hope u all enjoyed 🤩🤩🤩 asks r open so request if ud like !!! okay love u all stay safe 🤩

[kaz11283]

Of Course I'm Here

Characters: Come on you know by now how this goes (Loki x you) (Team x you, platonic)

Warnings: None. And really if you ever see anything that I might need to able as a warning please let me know... I'm the person who forgets there are people out there that get offened by the word F*** if that is an exapmle of anything.

Summary: Mid battle and the avengers keep looking for an answer as to why the God of Lies hasnt showed up yet. Of course you have no idea but at least he proves them all wrong.

ANNOUNCEMENT TIME: hey guys Im back, I know it hasnt been long but I also know I havent been posting every single day like I was, i got into a weird little funk where I didnt want to do anything, I was just feeling completly drained, and I felt bad because I have my little and I didnt even want to play with her because I have just been so TIRED, but I'm feeling better. Work has been kicking my ass here lately and ive been working over 50 hours a week so ive literally been coming in, eatting / feeding the little, getting us ready for bed, and crashing as soon as she falls asleep. But im here now. I will probably be more active on weekends than during the week because I have more time to spend working on stuff but I will be posting also during the week just not daily. At least until after state comes. Thank you so much for the reblogs, likes, comments, follows, and messages please keep them coming! If you would like to be tagged please ask or message, and requests are open. Love you guys so much! 💚💚💚💚💚

Loki Masterlist

~~~~~

"Y/N, BACK UP I NEED BACK UP! EYES IN THE SKY!" Tony yelled from above, you and Clint stood back to back on a roof top shooting as many bad guys as you could. Clint took aim at another carrier, shooting at the engine causing the entire thing to blow up raining debris and hot metal around you.

"Damnit Clint! Farther away make sure they are farther away!" You yelled popping him on the head with an arrow before aiming it at the thing that was chasing Tony.

"Where is lover boy at? You.sent him the location right?" Nat asked into the com.

"Yes I sent him the location, no I dont know where hes at." You mocked.

"Did you send him the right location?" Sam asked.

"One time, one dam-"

"Language!" Steve chimed in causing everyone to groan. Gun shots where ringing all around you and you could here metal on metal paired with Hulk screams coming from another building over.

"Language." You mocked muting your com son that no one but Clint heard you. "I am a 26 year old woman, I think I'm old enough to cuss if I want." You drew back your bow and sent another arrow flying into another goon that had Nat trapped aginst a wall. She shot you a thumbs up before running off. You hit unmute on your com.

"Jesus, 26? Baby, you sure you don't need to be at a babysitter instead of on a building killing things?" He laughed.

"Dont worry Hawk, when we get done here I've already booked you a nice nursing home to be put into." You put your bow around you and stood on the edge of the building. "I need a better view." You looked round, the top of a taller building caught you eye. "There Hawk, we can cover a better radius from up there, get closer to the action."

"DOES ANYONE KNOW WHEN THE GODS ARE GOING TO BE HERE? WE NEED MORE HELP WERE GETTING TIRED AND OUT NUMBERED!" Tony came over the coms screaming.

"How do we get up there? Or do I even wanna know?" Hawk came to examin where you were talking about.

"Im jumping, you cant tell me that someone wont catch me." You shrug.

"GODS WHERE ARE TH- Y/N DONT YOU DARE JUMP!" Tony stopped and hovered right were you was standing.

"Then take us over there. We need higher ground, we cant cover everyone from down here." You crossed your arms.

"Where are the gods at y/n?" He asked again

"I. Dont. Know. Jesus you guys act like I'm suppose to be there keeper!" A simultaneous you are came from everone through the com causing you to roll your eyes. "Hes gonna be here I swear it! Now take me to the building or I jump. 1.....2....-" Tony grabbed you by the collar of your jacket and flew you to the building.

God these things were everywhere and you were starting to run out of arrows. After shooting another ship and causing it to blow you heard what was unmistakably pounding on the roof top door leading to where you currently was at.

"I have some univited guests about to join my party. Anyone available for some assistance?" You yanked out the two emerald green and silver daggars that your boyfriend had given you not long after you had started dating after throwing your bow around you.

"Buy some time kid, I'm on ground level right now but I can try to get up there as fast as possible." Bucky called over the com.

"Buy some time? Ok. I can do this. I work better from afar but a little hand to hand never hurt anyone, just easier to get stabbed this way." The first of the things busted through the door running straight at you. You jerked out of the way missing his staff by just a few inches. Quickly turning you flipped the dagger like Loki had showed you and stabbed him in his side causing him to fall to the ground before the next one tried to impale you.

"I have two daggers and they have freaking staffs! Back up! WHERE THE HELL AR-" you were interupted by static in the air and a bright light. The bitfrost had just opened up leaving to gods standing in front of you and taking out the remainder ofnthe bad guys. "HES HERE! I TOLD YOU GUYS THEY WERE COMING AND THEY'RE HERE." You pulled two extra coms from you pocket and gave them to Thor and Loki.

"Always a pleasure to battle beside you Lady y/n." Thor smiled takkng the com and putting it in his ear before taking off again.

Loki sauntered over to you and put his arm around you waist, you put the com in his ear as he rolled his eyes. He leaned down and gave you a quick kiss.

"You got a new outfit." You smiled at him. God the way he looked in his battle clothe always did something to you, the horned helment was a plus.

"You like it." He smirked down at you pulling you closer.

"Your wearing your horns to." You reached up and brushed a peice if hair behind his ear.

"STOP. STOP NOW. WE CAN HEAR EVERYTHING AND ITS GROSS." Tony yelled causing you both to roll your eyes.

"Quick run down, bad guys everywhere, no end in sight, and I'm out of arrows pretty sure Hawk is too." Loki waved his hand over your quiver making more arrows appear.

"I see you had to use your daggers. I am sorry for not being here. Are you hurt anywhere?" He asked stepping away from you to examin you.

"Small cut on the side, nothing I havent dealt with before, Ill be fine. You go make sure Hawk is fully stocked up and help the others. I got a birds eye view of you right here." I leaned in kissing him one more time before smiling at him and pushing him away. He kissed his two finger before placimg them over his heart and you did the same, "always." You both said before he disappered.

You could hear Thor laughing at the chaos going on and Steve trying to direct the god of thunder on what to do. You had learned earlier to just let him do his own thing and he would be fine. Tony was still trying to micromanage everything when you heard Loki mumble something in an old language and his com cut out. You had figured it wouldnt have stayed on to long though but at least you had tried. It had calmed down up on your end so you decided to finally go back down to where Clint was at shooting an arrow with heavy duty rope you glided back down next to him to watch what was going on.

"Hello, earth to y/n." He snapped his fingers in front of your face. You had been to busy staring at Loki and that damn helmet. "I dont even understand why were friends." He rolled his eyes propping up on the ledge watching as the rest of the team secured the last of the bad guys.

"Because we both shoot arrows, because we are both the best in the team, or because we both know we are the best looking one on the team so we have to stick together." You laughed jumping up so you could sit on the ledge.

"The birds can come out of their nest now." Bucky called over the coms causing you both to sigh.

When you and Clint had reached the bottom you walked over to Thor theowing your arms around the big goof ball.

"You are amazing during battle as always." He beemed patting you on the shoulder.

"As always? Thor youve only fought with her twice." Steve said beside you.

"I had a week off. Went to Asguard, spent time with the boys. Someone had to keep them in line." You shrugged like it was no big deal.

"She was amazing!" Thor went on telling the story of the fight you had all gotten into.

"Mothers been asking about you by the way dear. Wants to know if you've decided to come stay for a while." Loki leaned down and whispered in your ear.

"I think I'm leaning toward a yes. I can't stand being away from you, you had been gone forever this time." You reached for his hand as you both walked to the quinjet.

"I was making arrangements to have our room redone. I figured you would come with me." He gave you a knowing smirk as he reached up to take off his helmet.

"Leave the horns on. I have a suprise for you when we get home." You pulled his hand away from his head and smacked his butt.

"You are a little minx." He laughed chasing you into the jet while the rest of the team groaned and rolled their eyes.

"Even if you wasnt moving i would be kicking your ass out! I am so sick of the PDA between you two." Tony hollared after you.

"Leave them alone Tony, they are courting. Im just glad my brother is happy and not trying to stab me." Thor clapped Tony on the back.

~~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@high-functioning-lokipath

[brelione]

Rivers (The Best Boys)

Warnings:Car crashes,mentions of sex,blood.

Im sorry in advance.This shit might hurt.

Series Masterlist

Rafe glanced over to you, obviously knowing what this was about.He gulped and nodded, agreeing to go outside to speak to Topper.You tapped your fingers on the table anxiously as they walked outside of the house and slammed the slider door behind them. 

“What do you think thats about?”Kelce asked, setting down his burger.Shit.This was it, Topper was gonna find out what you and Rafe did.It was bad enough that they knew about the kiss but this was even worse.

And it didnt help that you told Topper that you didnt like Rafe like that.Now all you felt was guilt.Guilt for hooking up with Rafe,guilt from even talking to Topper about your problems when you knew that it would probably put stress on him.Now you were screwed,head in your hands.

“You guys did things while we were gone?You kissed her last week, you gave her a hickey tonight.Whats gonna happen next week?Are you gonna get her pregnant?Do you even care about what’s happening in her life?Do you even fucking care about her at all or is she just another one of your toys that you use for sex and then just ditch?Do you not care that we all made a deal?Do you even realize what youve done?”Topper had tried his best not to yell.

Rafe stared at the blonde, eyes wide. “Dont even say that I dont fucking care about her!You’re the one that went along and dated Sarah and wouldnt shut up about it to (Y/N)!I would never-I would fucking never.You dont even know what we did!We didnt even do anything-she was freaking the hell out earlier, punching herself and hitting thins.She probably smacked herself on something before I showed up but no.You didnt even think of that possibility your mind just went straight to me fucking her.Do you know why?Its because you’re jealous.You’ve always been jealous of Kelce and I and we’re fucking tired of it.”Rafe glared, waiting for Topper to throw a punch.

He didn't though,simply staring at Rafe. “You guys didn't do anything?”Topper asked.Rafe nodded, the action barely visible in the dark.This is exactly what Kelce had feared.He was always right about most things.You even accused him of being a prophet once. 

“What time is it?”Topper yawned,sitting up on the couch.You shrugged,reaching for your phone and looking between the tired boys. “What time do you guys think it is?”You asked,turning on your phone and checking for yourself. “Umm....I dunno....like 9.”Rafe shrugged.You looked over to Topper,waiting for his answer. “I think its eight.”He answered,still half asleep. “Im gonna bet its 11:47.”Kelce replied,waiting for you to confirm.You glared at him. “Fuck you,propet.”You grumbled.

“But you still kissed her.You knew what you were doing and you did it right after we all made that deal.Do you just not care anymore?”Topper asked, still angry.Rafe stood there, not knowing what the correct response would be. “Right, alright.Im gonna go home, you guys have fun.”Topper went back in the house,slamming the slider door shut behind him.

Rafe opened the door, following him inside and praying to whatever god that would listen that his friend wouldnt throw a fit.Topper simply grabbed his phone, taking another sip of his soda. “Im going home.I’ll see you tomorrow.”He went to rush past you, making your heart drop.

No hug,no forehead kiss and no explanation.Something was seriously wrong. Even when he was in a bad mood he would still give you a hug and peck your forehead before he left.

“Topper-you didnt finish your food!We didnt finish the movie either!”You exclaimed,making him stop near the door and turn around. “I know, I know.I just think I should go home now, i’ll see you tomorrow.”He opened the door, about to leave when you stopped him again.

 “Text me when you get home!”You shouted to him, seeing him nod quickly before closing the door behind him, getting into his car and driving off.You looked up at Rafe, the boy still standing by the slider door in a silent shock.

 “What happened?”Kelce asked, looking between you and Rafe hoping for an explanation for Topper’s sudden exit.You couldn't say anything, too afraid of what would come out,instead just resting your head in your hands.

Rafe gulped, trying to figure out what to say.He didn't understand why he should have to hold his feelings back because of Topper’s feelings.It wasn't fair to you or him. “Did I miss something?”Kelce asked, still not understanding.

Rafe shrugged,sitting back down next to you at the table,looking at the empty chair that Topper had been sitting in a couple moments ago. “I don't know.Were you guys arguing about something?”You asked Rafe,turning to face him in the chair.He shifted nervously, looking away from you.That little nervous action gave you the exact answer you needed.

 “Alright, lets just sleep it off and enjoy our night.It doesn't have to be ruined because Topper decided to go home,okay?”Kelce asked,eating a chicken nugget.You nodded, feeling uneasy.Topper never did this.He always hugged you before he left, he wouldnt just walk out like that.You created a new note in your phone, typing something and showing it to Rafe. 

Does he know what we did?

He read the message,quickly shaking his head. “Hey,what are you guys doing?”Kelce asked,leaning across the table in attempts of seeing the phone screen.You quickly placed your phone down,looking up at your confused friend. “Nothing,Kelce.Don't worry about it.”You told him,bouncing your leg up and down.

Something was very wrong.You didnt know why you felt so sick all of a sudden or why you were shaking,snapping out of your thoughts when Rafe reached his hand across,his hand on your leg to get it to stop bouncing. “Lets take our food and finish it in the living room while we watch the movie.”Kelce suggested, already standing up.

Topper drove down the street,approaching the bridge that made him so nervous.There were two bridges on the island,the one that separated Figure Eight from The Cut and the one that was built right over a quickly flowing river that lead from one mainroad to another.

It was the quickest way for Topper to get home from your house, it wasnt his favorite way because it always cause him to be anxious but it was quicker than the twenty minute alternative path.The bridge was old and was a popular spot for drug deals and couples that were looking to write their initials somewhere.

It had been built sometime back in the sixties before the river started to rise and the current became strong.He drove slowly,his heart pounding quick.He wished that he had taken the other way but it was far too late to leave now,already half way down the bridge.

He must’ve been shaking more than he realized,everything happening quick as he lost control of the steering wheel,sending himself right through the rusting metal bars of the bridge.

Time slowed down as the car fell from the structure,hitting the cold,quick moving water.He was forced forward as the front of the car hit a large rock,smacking his head off the steering wheel,the seatbelt locking a moment after.The cold water was filling the car quick,the whole vehicle submerged,Topper trapped by his seatbelt,unconscious.

“Topper hasnt texted me.”You frowned,checking you phone for the upteenth time within that half hour.Kelce’s eyebrows furrowed,leaning his head against your shoulder. “Im sure he’s fine,maybe he’s just tired and fell asleep when he got home or something.”That was probably a very logical explanation to a normal person but to you it seemed absolutely ridiculous.

Topper would always text you when he got home.Rafe nodded,agreeing with Kelce. “I wouldnt worry to much,its Topper.What’s the worst thing that could’ve happened?”Rafe asked,none of you paying attention to the movie.

Pennywise killing and manipulating people definitely was not helping with the situation. “Im serious.I think I should call him.”You mumbled,pressing the call icon,holding the phone to your ear.No answer. “He didnt answer, something has to be wrong.”You insisted.

Kelce took out his own phone, deciding that maybe Topper was just ignoring you and Rafe for now.His thoughts were proved wrong when Topper ignored him too. “Yeah, hes probably just asleep.”Kelce put his phone away, pulling you close to him in attempts to calm you down. “Should we go to his house?”You asked,looking over at Rafe.

He decided to just pause the movie, figuring this would be a long conversation. “He’s asleep, (Y/N).If we go there we’ll have to throw rocks at his window so he’ll wake up, its not like any of us can drive there.”He reminded you.You shrugged, feeling Kelce’s hand grip yours,his thumb rubbing circles. “Do you think he’s mad at me?”You asked, hoping that that wasnt the case.

Rafe shook his head, throwing the thought of that out the window. “He has no reason to be.He might be mad at me-he’s definitely mad at me but he’ll be over it by tomorrow.He’ll probably call in the morning, it’ll be fine.”Rafe forced a smile on his face.

You just had to hope he was right, leaning into Kelce,your arms around his torso.You noticed a look of jealousy on Rafe’s face, understanding why but choosing to ignore it.The way Kelce was shaped made him very easy to hug and cuddle with,his sweatshirt smelling like McDonalds and cologne. 

“Lets watch something that’s not scary.”Kelce grabbed the tv remote,exiting out of the movie before either you or Rafe could fight him. “I vote that we watch Victorious.”You looked up at Kelce as he flipped through different options.He looked over to Rafe, silently asking for his opinion.

Rafe gave him a nod,watching as Kelce’s fingers twirled your hair,grazing over your temple and cheek as he pushed it past your shoulder,beginning to braid it.The first episode of Victorious was playing.You were sure by now that you had seen the entirety of the show at least twenty times.

You had listened to the soundtrack even more than that, Kelce being the one who insisted that you listen to it. “What time are you guys leaving tomorrow?”You asked,eyes glued to the tv.Kelce sighed, not wanting to think about the fact that he had to spend the whole day with three of his cousins. 

“Maybe like….10.”Kelce answered, knowing that you probably wouldnt be awake at that time.You looked over to Rafe,waiting for his answer. “I dunno….I should probably be there early so Ward isnt waiting for me at the door.He’s gonna be up my ass all day.”He had seen all the texts from both Ward and Rose on his phone.

They were furious.It didnt really matter though, the worst they would do is yell at him.They couldnt really ground him, he was an adult anyways. “Sorry.”You muttered.Rafe grinned,shaking his head. “Dont worry about it,that party was stupid anyways.I swear to god I thought there was gonna be a fight between Mavis and Eleanor.”He chuckled,earning a smile from Kelce.

 “Imagine that, the two of them just hitting each other with their canes.What would they fight about?Like,how dare you take my pie recipe and claim it as yours you old rat!”Kelce tried to sound old,his voice squeaky like he had a bad cold.

You laughed,messing up the braids Kelce was trying to do in your hair. “Or like, my grandson is prettier than yours and they have the same father!”He continued,glad he could make you laugh when you had been so stressed.Your eyes widened,sitting up. 

“Wait,do their grandsons actually have the same dad or are you fucking with me?”You asked, unable to tell if he was joking or not.Kelce shrugged. “I mean, Im just saying that they look similar.Rafe,stop laughing and listen.Im just saying ive never seen Owen’s dad in the same room with Joshua’s dad.Have you?”He asked, his tone becoming serious.

You thought back to all the parties and events you had been forced to go to,trying to think if you had ever noticed either of the boys.They were two years younger than you and your boys meaning that you had never really had to pay attention to them at all, always caught up trying to beat Topper in virtual cup pong.It was one of the few virtual games that he was actually good at.

“You know,I dont think I have.”You admitted, giving into his theory.Rafe rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “There’s no way, doesnt Joshua’s dad live with him?”He asked, trying his best to remember.Kelce bit the inside of his cheek, about to answer when you spoke up. “He could be living a double life!People do that sometimes.”You reminded him.Kelce shrugged, trying to think of more ways to prove his theory.

Topper’s eyes opened again when the water was up to his knees.All he could see was black,his legs feeling numb from the cold,his left arm hurting like it had never hurt before.He cursed,trying to unbuckle his seatbelt but to no avail,the material digging into his neck and the car swaying from the tough current.

He reached for his phone that had ended up in the cupholder, only then noticing the blood coming from his sore arm.He chose to ignore it,dialing 911 as fast as he could,tears streaming down his face.If only he had taken the other way home.

 “911,whats the emergency?”A feminine voice asked,hearing his shallow breaths from the other end of the phone. “My car- I drove into Crescent River-The water is in my car.”His voice sounded like he was drunk,probably because he had bit through the tip of his tongue when he crashed. “What’s your name?”The woman asked, sending everyone to the river to search for the car.

 “Topper-please tell Rafe that im sorry!Tell (Y/N) that I love her!Please-fuck im gonna die.”He began sobbing, knowing that he’d never see you or Rafe or Kelce ever again.He wouldnt be able to apologize for all the dumb shit he had done over the years.

He was going to die because he and Rafe got into an argument about you.He couldve laughed.It was funny how the universe worked. “Topper, you’re gonna be just fine.Help is on the way.Can you break the window?”The dispatch asked.Topper tried to move,everything blurry.The rush of water filling the car was loud,the cold liquid now up to his chest.

 “Somethings wrong with the seatbelt!Im stuck-I cant move.I cant fucking move and the water is so cold and I cant move….god please just tell my friends that im sorry.”He cried, lifting his head up so he was staring at the ceiling of the car,getting as much air as he could before the car would be completely full. 

“Topper, you can tell them yourself.Help is on the way, please stay on the call.”She waited for Topper to say something else, for any sign that he hadnt drowned only to hear the sound of static before the call cut out.

“Are you guys tired yet?”You asked the boys,pulling a blanket up to your chest,still in Kelce’s lap. “No, im not going to bed until this dumbass admits that he’s wrong.”Kelce insisted, annoyed by Rafe. “Im just saying the I never saw JFK’s son when he was younger and Matt Dillon in the same room.”Rafe repeated it for the third time,still not being helpful.

 “Because they werent friends!”You shouted at him, Rafe flicking your forehead. “You cant be friends with yourself!Now listen.13 bloodlines of the illuminati,right?Right.So they discover time travel so JFK’s son assassinates his dad because he couldnt support his passion for acting,right?So then he goes back in time in a different time line to become an actor and change his name to Matt Dillon.Its just like Spiderverse!”Rafe exclaimed, trying to get you guys to believe him.

You shook your head,looking back up to the tv. “Rafe, did you even pay attention to Spiderverse?”You asked, making him finally shut up. “Wait, I want to watch conspiracy theories now.”Kelce mumbled,his fingertips now tapping against your hip.You handed him the remote, letting him put on top ten craziest conspiracy theories.

When the ambulances,cop cars, fire trucks and rescue trucks showed up Topper had been without air for nearly two minutes.The lights of his car were dim but they were luckily able to spot it,sending the divers down.They were in full gear,helmet and radio included.

There were two divers,seeing that the glass had given out and smashed,some of the glass causing small cuts over Toppers body.The were able to get the car door open,cutting off the seatbelt,telling Schoope through the radio that they had gotten him,fire fighters waiting for them to bring his body up,handing him into the arms of the fire captain who then got him onto a stretcher,letting the EMT’s take him.His arm was bent in all sorts of ways,a large cut at his hairline,blood still flowing from his mouth.

“You guys believe in the moon landing, right?”You asked,moving in Kelce’s lap so you could see both him and Rafe.Kelce was hesitant to answer, not knowing what to think after watching that last theory.Rafe bit the inside of his cheek, making you groan.

 “Really?”You asked, checking the time to see that it was already two in the morning. “Hey, im gonna go upstairs to sleep.Will you guys stay in the guest rooms?”You asked,sitting up with the blanket around your shoulders, cold despite the fact that you were wearing Topper’s hoodie.

 “Why?”Kelce asked, letting out a loud,dramatic yawn. “Because the door is right there and so is the window...at least in the other rooms it’ll take longer for them to kill us.”You explained, grabbing your phone off the table.

 “Alright, im setting alarms for 8,8:30,9 and 9:30.”Kelce announced,setting them in his clock app.You sighed,knowing that his alarms would probably wake you up as well. “For why?”You asked,already at the end of the staircase. “So I can make you guys breakfast.”He answered in a tone that made you feel dumb, almost like the answer was so obvious.

 “You dont have to.”You replied, knowing that that wouldnt change anything.He shrugged,not really caring.Rafe turned off the tv,standing up and stretching out his limbs,almost touching the ceiling.You laid down in your bed after saying goodnight to them, your eyes wandering to the closet,to the window,to under the bed.

The fact that somebody had probably been in your room without you even knowing freaked you out.You turned on the flashlight on your phone,keeping it on as you scrolled through tik tok.That was probably an even worse idea since your entire for you page consisted of serial killer facts because of you liking too many Criminal Minds videos.

Eventually you decided to just go and sit in the bathroom,just so you could be anywhere else but your bedroom.You sat on the toilet,checking if Topper had been active on Snapchat,Instagram or Tumblr.Nothing.That was very unlike him even if he had been tired and fallen asleep as soon as he got home.

After twenty minutes of sitting on your toilet you decided that you couldnt go back to your bedroom.It was too creepy.So here you were,tiptoeing across the floor of your own house to one of the guest rooms at the end of the hall,knowing that’s where Rafe was.

You let out a soft sigh,carefully opening the door. “Rafe.”You called out to him softly.You could barely make out his figure on the bed,arms and legs spread out like a starfish.You sighed,deciding not to bother him.

You used your flashlight as you made your way down the hall,opening Kelce’s door. “Hey,Kelce.”You whispered,seeing him move,eventually sitting up and squinting,trying to figure out what was going on.

 “(Y/N)?”He asked,trying to make sure that you were you and not some imposter.You let out a quiet sigh of relief,entering the room and closing the door behind you. “Hi.”You answered,sitting at the end of the bed. “Are you okay?”He asked,turning on his own flashlight,flipping his phone so the screen was against the mattress,the small light making it so he could see you.

 “Yeah,cant sleep in my room.Can I sleep in here?”You asked.He tried to hide how happy he was,nodding. “Yeah,yeah thats fine.”he patted the spot next to him,grinning as you slid under the covers,your arm falling over his torso,head against his back as you closed your eyes.He eventually turned on his side so he could face you and you could get more comfortable,holding him like a koala,your head resting on his shoulder.

You couldnt remember anything after that which meant that you had fallen asleep clinging to your friend.You woke up when Kelce got off the bed,leaving a frown on your face. “Go back to sleep.”He whispered to you.

When they got Topper ot the hospital they were still trying to find out how bad his injuries were.He was still knocked out,eyes twitching every few moments as he was rushed down the hall and into surgery to fix his mangled arm,removing the glass that had been lodged deep inside his leg.They were glad to find that none of his injuries were fatal despite him being technically dead for 15 seconds when they had first got him out of the river.

It was determined that he had a pretty nasty concussion that would take a good couple of months until it was completely healed.The surgeon had to stitch the long cut on his hairline shut,bringing it forward ever so slightly.They had noticed his medical records,calling his mother to tell her about the horrible accident. 

“Is the car okay?”She had asked,making the nurse who had called frown and tell her no,the car was definitely not okay. “Unfortunately im in California so I cant be there.Maybe just give his little girlfriend a call.”She suggested carelessly,not even bothering to ask about the condition her son was in.

Something about the way she said it sounded like she was disgusted by the idea of you.Almost like a child talking about vegetables.The nurse had asked for the number of his girlfriend,his mother reading off yours that she had stashed in her phone just in case of emergency.

When you woke up you were warm and comfortable,seeing two texts.One was from Kelce to let you know that he had left and that eggs and bacon were on the stove.The other was from Rafe telling you that he had left and got home safely.

He probably only texted you that because he had seen how worried you were when Topper hadnt.You checked your snapchat notifications,seeing that you had lost your 785 day streak with him.That really made you upset,knowing that it would take two years to get it to that point again.

You sent out your streaks,getting up with a loud yawn,stumbling as you made your way downstairs and into the kitchen,a shiver running up your spine from the cold tile.A glass plate sat on the stove,a layer of tinfoil covering it.

You peeled off the foil,placing the plate in the microwave when your phone rang.Your heartbeat picked up,hoping that it was Topper calling to tell you that he was sorry for nto calling you last night and that he was perfectly fine,frowning when you saw that it was an unknown number.

 “Hello?”You asked,hoping that it wasnt gonna be ghost face on the other end. “Um...is this Topper Thornton’s girlfriend?”the voice asked.You frowned,looking around your kitchen.You had no idea who it could be or why they would think your were Topper’s girlfriend but you decided to go with it anyways,saying yes.

There was a pause before the woman spoke again. “Im sorry to inform you but your boyfriend drove into Crescent River last night.He’s got an awful concussion and a severely broken arm as well as 12 stitches.He’s currently at Kildare Hospital if you’d like to come see him.”The woman explained.

And just then everything was over.You were always terrified of getting a call like this.That Rafe had overdosed at a party or that Kelce had been hit with a golf club to the head.But you never thought it would happen.

You felt like you couldnt breath,your hand gripping the phone so hard that you thought it might crack.You didnt know how you would get to the hospital.Rafe was at home and would take too long to get to your house,Kelce was at his cousin’s house on the complete opposite side of the island.

You knew what you had to do,grabbing your keys that had stayed in the junk drawer for the past two years,a layer of dust covering the metal.You rushed out of your house with nothing but your keys and phone,not bothering to slip on pants or even grab your bag,going into your garage in a rush.

You couldnt even remember turning on the car engine,speeding out of your driveway and leaving a trail of black marks,driving straight to the hospital.The car smelt like stale doritos for a reason that you couldnt understand.

The last time you had used this car or even drove was back when you were seventeen and nearly passed out while you were driving,too scared to try it again.It didnt matter now,your foot not leaving the gas pedal,hands gripping the steering wheel so hard that your fingers hurt,pulling into a random parking spot at the hospital,not even checking your parking job.

You held your phone and your keys in the same hand,sprinting and nearly getting hit by another car in the process,gasping for air when you reached the front desk. “I-I need to see Topper Thornton.”You spoke quickly,almost coughing.

The nurse’s eyes widened,realizing that you were the girl she had spoken to on the phone. “(Y/N)?”She asked,wanting to be sure before she told you what was important.You nodded,wanting this to be over so she’d tell you what room you needed to go to. 

“He said on the 911 call that he wanted you to know that he loved you and that he wanted Rafe to know thay he was sorry,I thought you should know.He’s up in room 234,2nd floor just two doors down.”She told you,a sympathetic look in her eyes.

You didnt think too much about it,running up the staircases because taking the elevator would waste time.You glanced at the rooms,trying to remember if she had said if the room was on the left or on the right.You found the room after a few seconds,preparing yourself before opening the door.

The lights were dim,the tv off.And then there was Topper,looking like he was dead.His left arm was put in a cast from his mid bicep to his hand,bent so the it was at a ninety degree angle and wresting on his stomach.

A few pieces of hair had fallen over the dark blue stitches that kept his skull from being visible,his eyes closed.An oxygen tube settled at his nose,multiple IV’s in his right arm,the heart monitor keeping a steady beat.

You were grateful for that,watching the lines move up and down,memorizing the sound of the beeping.You sent Rafe and Kelce text messages,telling them what had happened,deciding to keep the words that Topper had said to the dispatch to yourself for now.

After a long twenty minutes of sitting there a nurse came in,surprised to see you. “He should be waking up soon.Are you his spouse?”She asked,writing down something on a clipboard.You nodded,still keeping up with the lie figuring that it was the only way you’d be allowed to stay in the room with him.

 “Alright,he should wake up any moment,hun.”She smiled at you before leaving the room,closing the door quietly behind her.You rolled your eyes,figuring that she had spoken that sentence five other times today and that she didnt actually care about you or Topper.

You found yourself scooting your seat closer to the hospital bed,running your fingertips along the palm of his good arm.His eyes slowly opened,shutting again for a moment,slowly adjusting.

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[arhvste]

TSUKISHIMA KEI - IMPOSSIBLE AND INSUFFERABLE PART 2

part 1

here it is the moment you’ve all been waiting for, hara getting relentlessly bullied part two of impossible and insufferable

i had fun with this guys and you’ll be able to tell later on in part 3 when our precious little hara gets taken down a few pegs also disclaimer i’m not a sadist but it’s obvious i enjoyed violating hara because it’s what he deserves periodt 😌💅🏽✨

THIS HASNT BEEN PROOF READ YET I APOLOGISE FOR ANY ERRORS I’LL FIX THEM TOMORROW PART 3 IS BEING UPLOADED IN A FEW MINUTES!!

It had been a whole week since the messy break up between yourself and Tsukishima and somehow everyone knew about it. This confused you slightly as you hadn't said anything and you knew your now ex wasn’t the type to start gossip so you just assumed people had figured it out themselves.

Hara was closer to now more than ever. He was there for you from the fight you had with Tsukishima to the present time. At first you were skeptical of keeping him around, after all he was technically the cause of your breakup, regardless you felt needy and wanted some kind of support system.

You did your best to act like you were over it. There was no way in hell you were going to let anyone see that the breakup had hurt you deeply. Especially not Tsukishima. You had mixed emotions about the middle blocker. You were angry at him for cutting you with his cold and harsh words, but having thought over the situation practically everyday, you could see where his frustration had grown causing you to feel a slight sympathy for the boy. You absolutely were not going to apologize though. Why should you? Tsukishima had made it clear whatever was between you was done and he wanted nothing to do with you anymore.

That's what he had tried to convince the both of you to believe anyway.

Forcing a fake smile on your face, you would go about your day avoiding your ex and the rest of the boys volleyball team as much as possible. You wouldn’t call yourself a stealth master, but you did mentally praise yourself for not having any run-ins with the boys on the volleyball team. You just knew you’d feel a wash of guilt if any of them were to approach you and that's the last thing anyone wants when they’re trying to move on.

-

Taking Daichi’s advice was something Tsukishima wasn’t sure if he regretted or not. On one hand, he had finally confronted the pent up emotions he had for so long and he had finally seen your reaction towards them. That was also something that was a con in his eyes though too. Yes, he had received responses from you but in all honesty they weren’t ones that he wanted.

Ideally he wanted you to curb stomp Hara the bastard right there and then but to his disgust you had stood up for the boy. Where the hell did this Hara even come from? Tsukishima hadn’t heard of him until Y/N started hanging around him. Sure he wasn’t one to care and remember little things about every student but he is an observant individual who had a rough idea of who people were and where they belonged. And Hara did not belong with you.

Because the situation had turned out the way it had, Tsukishima did his best to “get a grip” like Kageyama had complained he hadn’t been doing recently. Nobody on the team dared ask Tsukishima any invading or personal questions. They had learned by now to let him keep it to himself and let him do his own thing. Yamaguchi was an exception of course. The two had been friends throughout their childhood so of course Yamaguchi felt the need to ask his friend if he was okay and offer his support at least once. Tsukishima thanked him and stated he was fine and gave no other details to his childhood sidekick.

Tsukishima’s performance had been improving so the team could only assume that when the blonde megane said he was fine he meant it so nobody could complain. Daichi made sure to keep a close eye on him though. Sure his playing was beginning to reach the standard he would usually play at, the captain knew better than to ignore the fact that no sane person could magically heal over a heated break up overnight.

-

It had now been 5 weeks since the famous break up and Hara had made it clear he wanted to be more than friends with you. You didn’t accept. You also didn’t reject either. You felt like it was too early to get into another relationship right now as you knew you had yet to completely heal from your last no matter how fast you tried to. Times a healer after all.

Hara understood. He said he did. You took his word for it and he continued to be there for you just like before.

It wasn’t like you disliked Hara, in fact you were fond of him, but you still loved Tsukishima and you regretted not telling him when he had questioned it before. It didn’t feel right to jump ship just yet.

People noticed you and Hara spending a lot of time together and had taken it upon themselves to assume you were a couple. Rumours spread like wildfire to your dismay and you insisted to others that you were still in fact single and not ready for a relationship.

The thoughts of these rumours getting around to Tsukishima scared you more than you thought it would. If he were to hear about them, it would only prove the point he had made about you using boys as test subjects. He knew that you weren’t actually like that, it was a vile comment spat out in the heat of the moment, but you knew if these false assumptions were to reach the ears of your ex, he would consider his spiteful comments to be a reality more than an empty insult.

The rumours did in fact reach Tsukishima’s ears and unhappy wasn’t a strong enough word. It had been over a month so why was he pissed? To him a month still seemed like a short time. He knew you weren’t the type of girl to jump from boy to boy so when he accused you of doing just that his insult didn’t actually hold any weight to it but you had apparently just proved him wrong. And if there’s one thing the middle blocker can’t stand more than irritating people, it's being wrong.

After the news reached him Tsukishima began to slip into faults at practice again and this didn’t go unnoticed by Daichi who was still keeping a close eye on him. Not wanting to try and force him to open up, Daichi decided to keep Tsukishima again after one practice.

Once everyone had left, the third year took Tsukishima to come and sit down on the bench where their first pep talk leading up to the fight had happened.

“Listen, you’re a valuable player and a good all-rounder, I am concerned for you still though. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Tsukishima sighed and looked at Daichi with a blank face.

“If you’re referring to L/N, I can assure you I’m fine. She’s out of my life now she isn't of concern to me anymore. She’s not a distraction to me and most certainly isn’t something I can say I particularly care about.”

Daichi sighed and knew this conversation wasn’t going to get very far.

“If you insist. Just make sure you get lots of rest okay? We have a practice match against Date Tech coming up soon and I like to show off the teammate who blocked one of Ushijima-sans famous attacks.”

Tsukishima offered a slight small smile of gratitude towards his captain and bid him goodbye shortly after.

Daichi still wasn’t satisfied with what Tsukishima was telling him. He knew he did still care for you, he could tell by the sudden lack of focus and a slight rise in snarkiness when rumours about Y/N and Hara came up.

Sighing to himself, Daichi knew he only had one more option he could think of left. The absolute last resort. Pulling out his phone, the captain sighed again in defeat as he messaged the only ones he knew Tsukishima might listen to. They had changed the blonde’s opinion before surely they could do it again.

“Hey, it’s Sawamura, I need a favour.”

“Oya?”

-

part 3

[irameii]

HEATHER:||: ERIC

Warnings:|| one sided love

Summary: I wish I was her....

A laugh rings throughout the air. One so familiar, you cant help but smiling automatically at the sound. His presence, one that illuminates wherever he goes. Slowly turning around, there he is ,your best friend.

There it is , a smile, a gesture so simple yet it causes a million butterflies to flutter within you and causes your mind to go fuzzy. Its like he doesn't know his own charm or the control he has over you, but no one knows. No one knows the feelings you carry within.

(Idkh these pov thingys work yet sorryy)

Eric: y/n!!!!!!. Eric yells as he jogs closer, and grabs y/n's shoulder y/n: yes Eric?* deep breath* Eric: did you do the homework for math class? * Breathe* y/n: Yeah I did.I actually finished it before class ended yesterday. Eric: you're gonna let me see it right??? *heart beating gets louder* Take a step back Y/n : nope. You should've done it. *starts walking down the hall* Thinking he's wandered off you let out a deep sigh... Knowing if you let him beg enough youd cave in and you knew better. He would never learn this way.and soon enough you could see yourself falling farther and farther into his grasp over time and he didnt even know it. You let out one more sigh before turning around to see Kevin , who cant help but look at you concerned. Kevin: whats wrong y/n?

.. You avoid eye contact. Kevin is one of those people. Someone who can tell when someones upset. He can read you well. So you knew you had to leave quickly. Y/n: I didnt get much sleep last night. So I'm feeling quite off today, its nothing serious. *nervous laughter*

He seems to kind of believe it since he just nods his head as if he can see it apparent on your face.. But something feels off, like he's pretending to believe you for your sake but you just excuse yourself and head towards the bathroom.Totally unaware he hasnt stopped looking your way since turning around as he nods to himself again as if comfirming somthing to himself before turing to head to his own class.

Y/n Pov

*splash*

*in a quiet voice* 'Whats wrong with me..'.. Its like the moment I look at him I cant help it. My heart begins to race, my stomach ends up feeling funny like there are millions of butterflies, and I get nervous and run away each time he gets closer... *Looks back at self in mirror* only if he knew...

(5 min later.)

*sigh* *walks towards math*

Other POV

You sit down before class begins , and there it is again , his laughter, but this time its different. You cant help but turn around to see whats caused the change in his voice, and its like your throat gets caught. Her. The girl he always is talking to you about.It seems like he was finally able to build the courage to talk to her. The one he wants to take to the movies to see his favorite movies with. The one he wants to show his safe places to . The one who keeps him up at night. The one he wants to wear matching clothes with. The one he wants to spend his holidays with. Her. Its her. Guess he didn't need the homework anymore afterall.

You quickly turn back around , trying to keep your emotions in. You feel yourself go colder with each sound. A tightening feeling in your chest builds everytime you hear them laughing . You sigh and breathe in slowly , praying the class ends quickly .

The moment class ended you jolt up quckly and grab your things and head towards your locker for the next class.

Y/n Pov

*sigh* *grabs snack for break*

Eric:y/n!!!

I dont respond.

Eric:y/n? Whats wrong .*looks concerned*

There he goes again.

Nothing Eric i say. He looks in disbelief. Knowing theres something off.

Eric: hmmm.You sure sure?. Hmm Well lets go with the rest of the guys. They are waiting for us for sure. *wraps arm around shoulder*

It was like a sudden new reflex. I didnt mean to. But jerking away from him seemed like the only thing that my body felt like I should do...

The look of surprise on his face made me feel embarrassed I reacted that way. And as soon as it looked like he was going to ask me what was wrong again I speed down the hall.

And there I meet the rest of the guys , thankfully.

New: thank goodness you're here. Look help me out. Changmin keeps saying this chucky doll here is cute... Come get him .

I cant help but laugh. I take a seat next to Sangyeons right side while Juyeon is on my left.

Juyeon looks towards me as i sit and smiles that crescent moon kind of smile. Of course i return it .

Y/n: I dont know about chucky being cute. But his bride is quite a beauty tho.

New:..... You... You two are something else with your horror movies... Like... You know what, forget it. *laughs in defeat.*

Y/n: *dramatic gasps* my oh my you say that like WE'RE the weird ones.🙄👀

Sunwoo and Q: periodt👀👏

Eric finally arrives.

Eric: Guys!! Guess what?

Sunwoo: you did your math homework for once?

Eric:.... Mm well Uh no, i didnt

Sangyeon: you didnt ask y/n for the answers this time?

Eric: no i did, but she said no. I got it from. H/n (her name)

Hyunjae: so thats what it is. You spoke to her?

*breathe*

Eric: yes and guys, like, I think I've maybe got a chance.

There he goes again... Her. Its all her. JUST her...

Jacob: so did you ask her out?

Eric: yeah I did. I invited her to our movie night tonight. I was gonna ask you guys if you guys were cool with it beforehand but I didnt think I would must the courage to.

Juyeon: anything for you to get the girl. We got you

New: IF he gets her. She just doesnt know the headache she's in for.

Sangyeon: Guess all that practice on y/n was worth it.

Practice...

Thats all I was....

He says it smiling towards me , not knowing the hurt his words have just caused subconsciously but I cant smile. Not even a forced one. I just pretend I didnt heard him.

Eric: yeah she told me she actually thought I was dating y/n but of course I could never. We're like siblings.

Ouch...

New: true...

Q: I dont even think eric is y/n's type anyways

I make eye contact with someone who seems to have been watching my every move.

Kevin...

He looks like he is observing everything... From my reactions to my responses.After another 3 seconds he looks away.Not saying a word either.

Everyones laughing. Everyones congratulating him.

Younghoon:y/n?

Everyone turns to face me.oh .

Y/n: hm?

I was too lost in thought. I spaced out.

Sangyeon: What time are you coming by?

Y/n: for what?

Sunwoo: for the movie. We gotta all be Eric's wingman here. He needs all the help we can offer.

Oh.. She will be there too? Can I handle it? Yes? No? No I cant handle it

Y/n: Uh i cant . I have something that just came up. I just remembered.

I lied. And sure enough. I was seen through.

Eric: like what?

Y/n: something

Q: really? What is it? Maybe we can help you out so you can come by and hang out.

Something is snapping within me. I need to leave.

Y/n: no thanks. You guys have fun.

I get up before they give me a response. I cant be around them . not until i get over these feelings. But its harder than i thought. But i dont want to take it out on them either so I should try.

Everytime We'd see each other after that. It was HER. It was either him with her or about her.

Everytime in class, itd be HER.

Every text , HER.

And the guys went along with it.

And everytime , itd hurt. A punch to the heart. And a bit tighter it would feel each time.

And the constant reminder that its just HER and will always be HER..

only if he knew.. I wish I was her.... its like the way he'd talk about her was like he was telling you the reason for his existence, the way his eyes shined when hed see her and then theyd soften when she'd smile at him,the smile he'd have when hed describe her or simply talk about her and trust me he was always proud to, or the way he tried to contain his happiness when she'd come around to speak to him just showed me all i needed to know.

He loved her. She made him happy . Thats all that mattered.

I felt one of those sad smiles form. Because though he was happy . I was not. I dont want to be reminded its not me constantly..so with thaat thought. I call it quits. Until I no longer feel this feeling. I'll distance myself so I can let go properly and move on with time.

I suddenly stopped responding to the gc messages. Slowly started to decline to hang out. But it seems it wasn't a big deal though. She was there eveytime instead.She became apart of everything they did. And with that I started to spend all my time in the library as a way to naturally distance myself. The guys were worried at first. But once i told them I needed perfect scores to get into my dream college, they decided me spending most of my time in the library for it was alright. It was for my other "dream college" so I should put it first they said. For my future they said.And then they also suddenly stopped asking me to hang out.It didnt take long.They also suddenly stopped directing messages towards me in the gc. Personal messages as well. Slowly one by one. We stopped having things to talk about ,like we've become strangers with time.. Now to just glances every now and then, that was all. Other than that, we became just like strangers. Strangers with memories....

Suddenly..

Kevin: y/n...

*Distant laughter*

I turn to look at Kevin.Sensing he had something to say but it wouldnt come out. He looks towards the table and I follow his gaze towards the table full of boys with her in it. I can only smile. I smile when they errupt with laughter at something new and sunwoo said. Happy they're happy. And with that I turn back to Kevin.

I can only smile at Kevin. No words. Just a smile.

The look on his face says he has something to say still present.

For the past 6 months. He would have that same look on his face when I'd walk past him. But hes never actually stopped me.

Kevin: y/n...

And just like that . Suddenly I'm wrapped in a warmth I didnt think I missed. And it's like it went quiet..and the sound of sniffling fills my ears , and his hold gets tighter. Oh Kevin..

THE END.

Authors note: Maybe I can male a Pt2? This one turned out bad tbh .

I did not edit this but i will later onnnn thank youuuuuu

[kikiyakno]

TEXTS: Kian & Jaesang

Date → Sunday July 10, 2021 ( 1 AM )

Mentioned  →  Jae’s crush, Kang Nova, Seong Sunwoo, Brandon Kelly

Synopsis  → After a big question, the boys have late night heart-to-heart sesh between best friends.

Feat. → @yijaesang

Kian — 12:49 AM

hyung?

can I ask you a question?

you don't have to answer if it makes you sad

Jae — 12:57 AM

you can ask me anything u know that

Kian

are you sure? 👀

Jae

(unsent) I'm already sad what's the difference

duh now hit me with it

Kian

What does it feel like?

to be n love...and stuff...

momo said you were in love...

Jae

I'm in the worst kind of love

and I still wouldn't trade it

love isn't what they always told us

we're kind of led to believe we're supposed to feel like we can't live without that person

but the truth is, we can feel like we can live without them if we have to but that it's not like it would kill us, it would just...our life would feel half

think about it like this

we're surviving without woo and we're existing still sure but, there's a piece that isn't connected into place, isn't there? That's a real love

I'm probably not the best to ask since I'm in love with someone who doesn't even want to speak to me or know me. But I guess I still know a bit from how I feel

Why?

Kian

I really like someone...

but I'm afraid to call it love...since I've never felt it before

Jae

yes you have and you'd know it when you felt it, trust me

compare it in part to how you feel about woo and me. The three of us are all each other's person before anyone else

but since it's the first time you really have to look at it

it's easy to think it's something it's not or that it's deeper than it'll end up being

and you have to ask why you're afraid to say it

Kian

because I don't want to be wrong...

I wasn't wrong about you guys.

Jae

and you KNEW you weren't wrong about us right?

Kian

well you used to talk about me a lot...

but susu kept me around.

and i wanted to be your friend

Jae

I was a foreign kid trying to survive around people who didn't speak my language, i disliked anyone who spoke English

I disliked anyone regardless let's be real

but you still knew didn't you

Kian

I hoped you give me a chance.

So all those other kids would stop picking on me...

So maybe yes.

Jae

damn you just wanted my mean mug to be used to your advantage 😂

there's no way to really be sure sometimes but I think you feeling afraid that you might be wrong is something to heavily take into consideration

if you felt it truly, you wouldn't think you're wrong

Kian

WELL AT THE TIME YA. I WON'T LIE. PEOPLE DIDN'T MESS WITH YOU.

oh...okay...i see....

well what if I think it's everything I wanted!

And i'm just paranoid over nothing.

Jae

that could very well be the case

but

momo said I'M in love

Kian

yeah...

she asked about you cos she’s been worried

Jae

no I mean

if momo hasnt said you are, are you

Kian

wh...

Oohhh....

Jae

has momo asked who you're in love with?

Kian

😥 no...

she hasn’t said anything about who I’ve been going out with

i just figured she's busy

Jae

that woman knows things that happen in her SLEEP, she's never too busy

so I'm guessing you're talking about Brandon?

Kian

is it all the gossip that made you guess?

Jae

nova told me she saw you two even before GG

if anything, there's clues on GG that point to some reasons that maybe you do really need to make sure

you know I dont put much stock in GG but also going off my own experience with Brandon...

you really gotta be sure because as someone who knows you, I don't see it. I know the kind of person you are and I know how he is

Kian

he’s...

he’s not what everyone thinks.

but I know...I know what he did wasn’t cool.

Jae

if people think of you as something, you have had the capability to be that person that's the thing. People will say I'm a mean cold asshole and you'd punch them but you know i can be

I feel like you don't know the half of stuff he's done to be honest but it's not my place to tell you after you've started feeling this way because it'll look bad on me

Kian

I still appreciate the honesty...I understand.

He makes me laugh a lot...and happy!

He calls me beautiful. And intelligent. I feel like it after he says it sometimes.

And we talk about going on adventures! All around the world...he said he wants to see all his favorite places with me...so we can make new memories together.

it feels like a dream whenever he speaks to me…

Jae

let me ask you something

has he ever asked where YOU want to go or is it just HIS favorite places?

has he mentioned any of your stuff from la playa or pride? have you mentioned his?

you don't find it a bit funny that you start hanging out with him and someone starts shading taking care of someone better than their so called best friends?

you are all those things, kian. you're all those words of validation but what actions has he done?

does Momo have a brandon special?

talk is talk, but it's the actions you need to fall for. or you'll just be left with words

Kian

we had a picnic... he cooked for us and it was kind of awful, but it was the thought!

we had a sleepover one day. That was nice...

he hasn’t talked about la Playa or pride... I haven’t brought it up much either.

I’m listening to you I promise.

It’s just...making me think is all.

Jae

did you congratulate him for either of his "sets*?

Kian

no…

Jae

positive about that?

Kian

😰

Maybe…

Jae

did you forget or are you trying to lie

Kian

...

Yes👀

Jae

yes you did say stuff?

Kian

yes I did say things!

Jae

and did he say anything to you?

did you know it wasn't me who had ft brandon kelly on all the advertisement

and it wasn't me who made him take a photo backstage and never uploaded it

I had to agree to the whole thing just so he'd stop tagging me in cat things and sending his weird ass "fans" after me with edits after i kept telling him I hate it and that it pisses me off

you mentioned his "victories" and he couldn't say a word about yours? nothing at all?

we are on the RADIO kian

we shocked the entire COMMUNITY and nothing from the guy whos trying to woo you or whatever? that's a huge red flag kian. I bet he talked all about minjoons though didn't he?

Kian

he hasn’t...or Didnt.

Jae

i bet you total strangers have

Kian

talked about minjoon’s?

Jae

said something to you about yours

Kian

Oh! Well!

Does my follower influx count?

Jae

I guess. And I'm sure people around SM have mentioned it

that's not even a friend, kian. thats someone who just wants your attention on them

Kian

Maybe...maybe I’m just someone who’s giving him a chance. And it’s okay if that’s what it is.

I understand why you would think that. I do. I promise.

And I’m not mad at you, don’t worry. I’m glad that you’re so honest with me. I always want you to be.

[unsent] even if I disagree

Jae

it's not okay if your potential first time loving someone is wasted on you though

at least one person in my life isn't, what a relief

I just want you to be happy and I just want to be around to be there for you and make sure you don't get blinded by flashy offers and pretty words because you deserve more than anyone in the world ya kno?

take it from me...you don't want to be where I am right now

Kian

I’m sorry, Jaesang...

I mean that you are where you are now.

At least going to Seoul was still fun right?!

And flying in a private plane!

Jae

if it weren't for the good memories with you, I think a huge part of me would wish we hadn't gone

ended up costing me another person close to me but that's nothing new lately is it?

but you and I had fun and that matters more

Kian

Lets go out!

I hate you talking like this.

Jae

on the holy night of Sunday??? What would momo say 😱😱😱🤯 

I'm down to go out though

we can do whatever you want

Kian

SHE’LL UNDERSTAND

we’re gonna go food truck hoppin 😤

Jae

I'm starving so that's perfect

want me to come pick you up or are we taking the scooter?

Kian

SCOOTER

ILL BRING YOUR HELMET

Jae

careful you'll make my heart flutter

Kian

I can drop u off at the hospital if u need that

Jae

I hope you drop your taco

Kian

I CAN JUST FLING YOU

Jae

and what do you do when I die

Kian

take ur Jean jackets 😗

Jae

would you miss me when you wear them?

Kian

do cars have tires Jaesang

[peacedolantwins]

Pain and Embarrassment pt 3

part of my family series

part 1

part 2

It had been 3 months since Ethan decided to ruin not only your relationship, but also the relationship he had with his kids. You had hardly spoken to him since you went out to California to be with your family. You had only called a few times to let him know that you would be back in time for the kids to start school in the fall.

There was so much he wanted to tell you, apologize for, but each time he tried either he couldnt find the words or you hung up before he got the chance to say anything. He had hardly talked to his kids these past months. Skylar and Connor wanted nothing to do with him. He expected as much from Connor, but Sky not wanting to talk to him hurt more than he thought it would. Everyone was handling this differently and coping the best they could.

The little girl who was his whole world from the moment she was born didnt want to talk to her dad. The one man she thought would never hurt her, the one she thought she could trust with her whole heart and would always be there was the one who just did the most damage. She couldnt understand how Ethan could have done something like this to not only you but to her family. The girl Ethan cheated with was only a few years older than she was and she couldnt help but think about all the times she had been to his office and had conversations with this woman. She felt like she had a part to play in this for not seeing it.

Connor not wanting to talk to him hurt in a different way than the rest. Ethan knew he could try and patch up his relationship with the other kids but it felt like there was nothing left to try and fix with Connor. He was gone all the time overseas, he had limited communication and he only came home once in a blue moon. There was no way he could try and sit down with his son unless Connor allowed it and he severely doubted that was going to happen anytime soon. Ethan knew that you were Connors whole world, you could do no wrong in his eyes and he practically worshiped the ground you walked on and while the other kids would tease him about being a mamas boy, Ethan was proud his son was so protective of you. However, this is when it seems to have backfired on him because as soon as he lost you he should have known he’d lose his son too.

Alex and Riley were understandably upset with him. They spoke to him a few times just to call and check in and let Ethan know they were okay. While they havent forgiven him, they wanted to try and move on. He was their dad, and while that doesnt give him a pass for what he did, they love him.

Noah, always looking up to Connor, followed in his big brothers steps and decided he didnt want to talk to Ethan at all. The only times Ethan managed to get Noah on the phone was when you forced him to because while Ethan hurt you, you werent going to cut him off from his own children as much as you might have wanted to. The few conversations he had with his son were short and to the point. Simple answers, he wouldnt talk about anything and Noah always kept the calls under five minutes, almost as if he had a timer running in the background and the dial tone was the alarm that let Ethan know his time was up.

Elise was the only one who would talk to him. She knew something was wrong, she knew he cheated but she didnt completely understand it and what it meant. She knew you were upset with Ethan but she only saw it as another fight that the two of you had and that you would all be okay once everyone said sorry. She missed her dad. She told you as much and she asked when you would be going back home.

And then there was you. You were trying to figure out what all of this meant for you. The relationship you had with Ethan was ruined, you knew that much for sure. But were you going to go back to New Jersey? Still live with the man who cheated on you in your own house? In your own bed? Part of you wanted to try and fix this, if not for you then for your kids. But was this something that could be fixed? You didnt think this was.

At first you were hurt when you found out. Why would your husband do this? Why would he go out and cheat repeatedly while you were home and suspected nothing? Was it something that you did that drove him to this other woman? Was it because you lost the baby? It was something that you two had argued about before and according to Ethan, the timeline matched up.

But the more you thought about it, while you were still hurt, you were angry now. None of this was your fault. You were not responsible for your cheating husband under any circumstances. He made his own choices freely and that wasnt on you. He was the one who messed up and ruined what you two had. Once you had realized all of this you were finally able to start moving on.

You still wanted answers from Ethan, but the answers wouldnt change anything. Your marriage was over, but hearing his explanation would help give you the closure you needed.  

It was now August and the kids would be starting school in a few weeks so it was time to head back to Jersey. The twins had decided to do online school, not wanting to deal with their classmates and you respected that choice. You felt they were old enough to make that choice for themselves. You had asked Noah if he wanted to do the same but he was very much against it because that meant he would be home more often with Ethan and he would much rather deal with kids at school then spend more time with his cheating father. Lizzy however was excited to go back to school because that meant she got to see her friends again and spend time with her dad who she hasnt seen all summer.

You had already talked to Grayson about picking you up from the airport and taking the kids with him for a few hours. You wanted to be able to talk to Ethan alone first without the kids being there in case things got heated between you two. They didnt need to listen to the possible yelling. And Grayson was more than happy to get to spend some time with his niece and nephew.  He dropped you off with all the luggage back at the house you shared with Ethan and left with the kids.

You took a breath and dragged the bags up the porch and into the house and left them by the stairs. The kids could use unpacking as an excuse not to talk to Ethan if they wanted to. You were debating about where to take your things when Ethan came in from the living room.

“Hey,” he said hesitantly.

“Hi,” you didnt know what else to say.

“I, uh, I moved to one of the guest rooms so you can take our room,” Ethan rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“No, I’ll take one of the rooms.” There was no way you were willingly sleeping in the same bed he had sex with that girl in. He made his bed, now he can lay in it. Literally.

Ethan seemed to have come to the same realization and simply nodded.

“You cut your hair,” he motioned to your hair that was now just above your shoulders.

“Yeah, heard you had a thing for girls with long hair,” you replied and pushed your hair back behind your ear, not seeing him flinch at your words. Your long hair had reminded you of the girl with waist long hair he cheated with and you cut yours as soon as you could.

“Y/n,” you could see the pain in his eyes at your remark. Good. He had no right to be the one who hurt.  

“What?” What was there to say?

“Are we seriously going to start this now?” He has gone from apologetic to now annoyed.

“I’m not starting anything, you did that when you couldn’t keep it in your pants,” you pointed out.

“Y/n, I’m sorry okay? I’m sorry I cheated, it was a mistake.”

“A mistake? Ethan, a mistake is putting a red shirt with the white clothes. A mistake is forgetting to pick up something from the store.  A mistake is something you can forgive. A mistake is an accident. You don’t accidentally have sex with someone over and over again. You did that knowing what the consequences would be and you did it anyway! You don’t get to stand there and tell me this was a mistake!” You were shouting at this point but you didn’t care.

“You know the sad thing is that maybe, just maybe, I could have forgiven the first time. Maybe it would have been something we could fix. But this? This is so broken there’s nothing left to fix.”

“No, no, we can work through this. We can, I don’t know, go to counseling or something, but Y/n please,” he wasn’t going to let this end. He couldn’t.

“I want a divorce.” You said simply and took out the folder of documents that had to be signed.

“Y/n,” he said quietly.

“Please don’t fight me on this. After what you put me through it’s the least you can give me. Don’t make this harder than it has to be. We don’t need to waste money on lawyers. Sign it and we can move on.” You held out the folder to him.

“I’m not going to sign that,” he took a step back from the offending papers.

“Ethan please.”

“No.”

“Why not? Ethan this marriage is over. There’s nothing left here, not after this. You clearly didn’t care about us when you decided to cheat on me so just sign the damn papers!” You shoved the folder to his chest only for it to fall to the ground when he failed to catch it.

“No! Because once I sign this that means we’re done. That means that you’re gone and I’ll have nothing left! I’ll lose you completely and call me selfish but I don’t want that! I want to fix this Y/n, please.” Ethan looked close to tears at this point. He knew he fucked up but he didn’t think you would bring up divorce this soon and he definitely wasn’t expecting you to have the papers with you as soon as you came home.

“Well I don’t! Would you forgive me if I had an affair? If I slept with someone I worked with over and over again? If I went public about it before I told you? If I brought this person into our bed for over a year?”

Silence.

“I didn’t think so. And I wouldn’t expect you to forgive something like that. So please don’t ask the same of me.” You pleaded with him.

“You expect me not to fight for my family? Y/n, you and the kids are my whole world. And I’m so sorry that I fucked it all up. But if you think I’m going to just let you walk out of my life without a fight you’re wrong.”

You let out a deep breath and walked over to the couch closest to you and sat down. Ethan moved to sit across from you, still leaving the folder on the floor. A small part of you wondered if his mistress sat on this same couch that your kids would spend hours on or if he kept her limited to your bed.

“Ethan I’m tired. I’m so fucking tired. I’m not gonna change my mind on this so please don’t drag it out longer than it needs to be. I appreciate that you want to fight for this relationship but it’s useless. I’m sorry but I am not going to sit here and let you think there’s a chance of forgetting what happened because there’s not.” Why give him a flicker of hope when there was none?

“So what? You’re just gonna go? Take the kids with you? They’re my kids too.” If Ethan couldn’t fight for you anymore there wasn’t a chance in hell he wasn’t going to fight for his children.

“I never said I was leaving. Or that I was going to take them. Despite all of this, I don’t want to split up this family. The kids don’t deserve that and as their mother it’s my job to take care of them regardless of what happened and how I feel. They come first. Always.” You could be civil with Ethan but things were never going to be the same.

“I would still live here, in another room obviously. Think of it as having a roommate who you just happen to be raising children with.”

“You’ve thought it through havent you?” You could see the defeat starting to take over his features.

“I have.” You nodded. “We’ve all been through enough. We don’t need more change. And if this is something we can’t live with, we cross that bridge when we get to it and figure out what to do then. I don’t want to split up this family if I don’t have to, but Ethan I need you to sign the papers. I can’t let myself be legally bound to you after all of this. I just can’t.”

Ethan seemed to accept this. He didn’t look thrilled about it but he seemed to understand.

“I still want a lawyer to go over it before I sign it,” he said it so quietly you almost didn’t hear him.

“Of course. Thank you,” you were glad he was agreeing to it.

You got up to go into one of the guest rooms that would now be yours when you heard him call your name.

“Y/n?”

“Hm?” You stopped and turned.

“Are we ever going to be okay?” He looked up at you from where he still sat on the couch.

Would you? You hadn’t really thought that far ahead about the situation.

“Honestly? I don’t know. I hope we can eventually, for what it’s worth. But it’s going to take time.”

Ethan simply nodded at your response.

You grabbed your luggage from where you left it at the stairs and dragged it off to your new room. Everything might still be broken but that’s all it is. Broken. It can be fixed over time but the scars and cracks will always be there. Only time will make this whole thing fade away.

@pgm-dolan @dolandolll @dolanshellyes @mysecretsaremydemons @mmmmmgd @ethandolxns @dolantwinsfavss@knee-deep-in-feels @godlydolans @dolanstwintuesday  @sarcasm-at-its-finest2444 @fandomsfeministsandothershit @graydolan12 @ilsolee @inlovewithethandolan @someonedoingnothing @vintagebitttch @sunshinedolantwins @chonisberonica @ardordolan @ethantasy @wasabisama331 @graysavant @atlas-of-a-human-soul @wolfpuppii009 @livexdolan if you wanna be added/want me to stop tagging you just let me know

also pls comment/like/reblog it makes me feel better about myself and gives the validation i desperately crave thank you 

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-08-23

More homestuuuuuck

I’m a little tired today so I don’t expect much intelligent analysis out of myself, but if anything classpecty happens I doubt I’ll be able to help myself regardless.

oh, always

(EDITS: added note on horn colors, link to ask on potential Blood powers reference)

> CHAPTER 12. Really Convoluted Metaphorical Horseshit

cuuute

In the bowels of a different ship, at a moment in time that is not pinpointable in either direction from the previous interaction, another Dave raps quietly to himself.

another dave raps quietly to himself.  i am glad that phrase exists it brings me joy

(LATER EDIT: A friend on Discord pointed out that throughout this entire update, Karkat's horns are #FF0000 red. They were normal candy-corn colors in previous glimpses at the ship crew, though they used a dark single-color shortcut typical of old Homestuck at one point... but THIS time it stays STARK red even when we zoom in close later. Is this just artistic liberty? Did Karkat color his horns for fashion? Does this happen to red-bloods like the Sufferer after a certain age? Just how much time has actually passed, here? We might have to wait for the commentary for this one.)

KARKAT: I WAS SAYING I THOUGHT WE MIGHT GO, I DUNNO, ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE ENTIRE SHIP WHILE THE CLOTHES WERE WASHING. KARKAT: SEEING AS THIS DECREPIT MACHINE WE WERE SO BLESSEDLY PROVIDED WITH MAKES A WHIRRING SOUND SO PANCHAFINGLY ARHYTHMIC THAT IT THREATENS TO ERADICATE THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF TEMPO FROM THE UNIVERSE.

Karkat really has chilled out hasnt he?  like this is surprisingly level for him, and that fact is hilarious.

KARKAT: AND YET SOMEHOW BASICALLY ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE WE STARTED THE LOAD IS THAT YOU’VE BEEN USING IT AS A FUCKED UP BEAT TO WHISPER TO YOURSELF ABOUT FLOWERS TO.

oh gosh that’s why he’s rapping

> ==>

DAVE: kanaya was telling me this kids story the other day about this dude who didnt cherish a flower enough until it peaced out to do flower stuff idk its not pertinent to the story DAVE: except the flower was a person DAVE: because it was a metaphor

Oh right, coming back to the Little Prince stuff I was too lazy to metaphor-deep-dive into, and literally asking the same questions we were asking about who the Little Prince’s story applies to mapped here if anyone at all, like Dirk and such, or what biases were in the retelling of it and the way Kanaya phrased it.  So now we’re practically mocking it by deep diving it here, hence the last page’s “DAVE: i was just thinking through some really convoluted metaphorical horseshit”, which means we’re both about to further explore AND shit all over the existence of this story metaphor until it doesn’t mean anything and most of the meaning we drew from it earlier is made a joke~

well, not “we”, cause I was too lazy, so... y’all

DAVE: anyway what goes down in the story is that once the flower lady is out of the picture DAVE: the main character goes around making all these connections between her and everything else in the universe until every damn thing feels like a symbol for how much he fucked up and how much he will never see her again KARKAT: THIS SEEMS PRETTY FUCKING INTENSE FOR A KID'S STORY DAVE: yea thats pretty much what i said

Oh holy shit.  That’s yet another way to put it.  Are we doing a whole moral takedown of the Light aspect today?  cause it sounds like we’re taking a dump on the Light aspect and RoboRose getting too obsessed and immersed in it, which would be excellent

DAVE: but i guess its not so much what the story was technically textually about but more like the version of it kanaya internalized and then told me when we were talkin about how she misses rose

exactly

DAVE: so like now im taking the story she told me she was projecting her feelings onto and projecting my feelings on top of that

yes absolutely, you just rephrased it a different way with that exact same bias

DAVE: this is just one big game of emotional projection telephone so feel free to go paraphrase it to roxy later and make it about whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing

perfect. i need an emoji for that Italian thing for when you pinch your thumb and forefinger together and kiss it

ah this’ll do:

its like the expression “choice” but in nonverbal form

[...] whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing KARKAT: YOUR ABILITY TO GET TO THE POINT DAVE: gotem DAVE: anyway you’re not gonna have to miss that skill of mine for long DAVE: get ready for this shit because i am about to slap you with the point so hard youll fall ass first into the washer DAVE: just scrambling around in there getting all sudsy DAVE: but your brain is gonna be so blasted from the mindfreak of a point im about to make that there wont be anything left to clean

Anytime dave is told to get to the point he is contractually obligated to spend at least 20 seconds talking about how he’ll get to the point in a way that is not getting to the point

DAVE: so its genuinely cool that kanaya can go around creating meaning that may or may not be actually present in every little thing DAVE: connecting every feeling she has to the idea of her wife existing out there DAVE: so i told her she should keep that shit up DAVE: but im having the opposite issue where im struggling to find anything to be that kind of tether because every single thing i could possibly consider about what it is were doing just reminds me of yet another thing to be afraid about

Great examples of Light being good and bad!  Attaching strands of connective meaning to everything.  --though, in Dave’s case AND Kanaya’s case you could argue it’s both bad in terms of effects.  That it’s great for Kanaya to care, but that she should be able to divest herself and live on her own terms without idealizing Rose literally everywhere she looks, personal growth which would be useful in helping bring Rose back to her in the first place.  The struggle they’re looking forward to is largely philosophical, not just physical, and until Rosebot acknowledges that she was wrong it’s not over.

DAVE: everything fuckin sucks huge cosmic donkey sack and im terrified KARKAT: OK, SO I FEEL LIKE YOU SKIPPED A COUPLE NECESSARY STEPS IN YOUR POINT CLARIFICATION PROCESS.

Pretty sure Dave was on the same page as most Epilogue and start-of-HS2 readers.  This situation is pretty bleak to dump our heroes into, no matter how much we believe will be resolved in the long run.

DAVE: ok but were you going with sweet or savory please give me that much at least KARKAT: YEAH IT WAS GOING TO BE SUNDAE-BASED. DAVE: nice KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: DO YOU WANNA WATCH MORE GBBO AFTER THIS? DAVE: absolutely

--ah, Great British Bake-Off, can’t say I’ve indulged

do they still have that?? did they save it from old Earth?  or did they go where unflooded Britain used to be and say hey, new show reboot

KARKAT: GREAT. ANYWAY, LIKE I WAS SAYING, FOR THE LOVE OF SWEET HUMAN CHRIST, PLEASE BACK UP TO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU’RE ACTUALLY SCARED OF. KARKAT: ALSO COME HERE, IDIOT.

That last line is like, exactly as fucking sweet and awesome as we imagined their relationship to be.  :)

> ==>

OH MY GOD THAT’S ADORABLE

DAVE: ok yeah this is a better position to unleash all my inner fears n anxieties from

indisputably.

DAVE: those times its like my mouth was saying words about the situation wherein our friends are AWOL and maybe dead but my brain wasnt fully letting me experience the emotion that goes along with them DAVE: man its like i cant even start genuinely thinking about how afraid i actually am for rose and john without my brain flippin its wad and whiting out DAVE: like haha fuck i hope theyre ok DAVE: now i better make a fuckin joke before i succumb to the gaping mouth of despair waiting for me to fall in it as soon as i look down and acknowledge that its there ogling how juicy my ass looks as it trembles with terror

I really hope that the writers of HS2 know full well that this feeling? the one Dave is describing here? is what many of us who got way overinvested in the well-being of Homestuck’s surviving characters felt reading the Epilogues and Homestuck^2.  So I really hope they’re working through it in a way that will result in a preponderance of GOOD THINGS happening and hope-filled situations.  Cause that “can’t even think about X” feeling is too familiar, and if they understand it as well as it LOOKS like they’re getting to, I’d really like them to give us a helping hand healing.

I think that’s what they’re going for?  Seems hopeful for me to think so, but they HAVE been doing better as HS2 has been going forward, from an emotional standpoint anyway; definitely better than the Epilogues.  And I’ve worked through some of that stuff with the help of that, because it’s MUCH easier nowadays to think about Homestuck without my gut clenching.

DAVE: i guess im just fucked up about how to worry about dirk and be angry at him at the same time DAVE: because if i get as unholy pissed at him as i sometimes wanna be i also gotta admit to myself that maybe i coulda done something different there

Mhmm, Karkat’s potentially a pretty good person to speak with here since he’s done so much work trying not to feel responsible for everything that’s ever gone wrong.

DAVE: also like DAVE: and this by the way adds a whole other layer of guilt on there that i dont really know how to fuckin reckon with but DAVE: even with all the shit hes pulled and the fact that we are more or less heading toward having to take him down DAVE: whatever that is gonna mean and whether or not he planned it like that DAVE: i just DAVE: me and him had come so far with each other and it was really cool for a while to have him and i DAVE: ugh DAVE: i dont WANT to hate him

Yeah, Dirk and Jane’s heel-turns were really shitty for anyone who was a fan of them in the fanbase, as well.

KARKAT: WELL THEN QUIT FUCKING PICKING AT THE SEAM ON MY SHORTS AND SPIT IT OUT. THEY'RE BARELY HANGING ON TO THE DEFINITION OF "SHORTS" AS IT IS.

That is an adorably real boyfriend-laying-in-boyfriend’s-lap thing to do

DAVE: the part i mentioned before about how we really have no goddamn clue how long this trip is even gonna take DAVE: i cant help but feel like its barely getting revved up DAVE: and for me and roxy and jade and callie and kan thats normal shit at best and boring at worst but we all have our immortality to thank for that DAVE: we can just dick around in space for near-eternity waiting to catch up to our friends who may or may not be our enemies now and itll be fine DAVE: i mean no itll be categorically miserable DAVE: but well survive it KARKAT: HOLD THE FUCK ON. DAVE: but you KARKAT: DAVE. DAVE: no lemme say this

Oh god damnit.  Karkat’s limited lifespan.  As if we hadn’t ALREADY covered a nauseatingly extensive gamut of disheartening topics of conversation.  We really have to confront every shred of misery in their past, present and future one after the other after the other in the Epilogues and HS2, don’t we?  >:(

I guess it had to be discussed, though.

DAVE: we dont talk about it much and i got shit to say about it DAVE: its not like i never thought about how youre mortal before but i just thought wed be able to figure it out before it mattered DAVE: come up with some kind of plan DAVE: i was just distracted being happy with you i fucking guess and so i didnt think up a way to fix it DAVE: and now thanks to dirk we have to work it out right the fuck now DAVE: because i cant spend this trip just sitting around watching you get old and die

Jesus.  I mean, WE know(?) that it’s not gonna be THAT many years, but THEY don’t know that.

Unless it really IS going to be that many years and HS2 is going to shamelessly take a fucking sledgehammer to our feelings for no goddamn good reason.  Which it won’t!  Right???  >:T

> ==>

Dishwasher ding

> Dave: Grapple with the clean, soggy consequences of the passage of time.

Hey, don’t make it a metaphor here. --though, fuck.  I suppose we are dealing with everyones dirty laundry.  God damnit.  SURE, deal with it all story but then GET IT OUT OF THE WAY AND PUT SOME SERIOUS FUN AND LAUGHS IN HERE so we don’t feel like we’re wading through an entire garbage dump!!!  *click*

Karkat’s eyebrows-only mouthless frown is really cute.

> ==>

okay Karkat explain the nope you’re lodging

> ==>

*put*

> ==>

*foot*

> ==>

DAVE: ok go on

I mean I at least appreciate the time investment in adorable boyfriends.  That’s definitely something of SOME good value they’re giving us in exchange for this misery

> ==>

That Karkat image makes me wanna do that red-shaky-gif-thing with it

KARKAT: IT'S NOT LIKE I'M NEW TO THE PARTICULAR MOOBEAST WRANGLING EVENT OF SOMEONE I PREVIOUSLY LOVED BRUTALLY TURNING ON ME AND LEAVING ME TO TRY AND CRAM MY FEELINGS ABOUT THE SITUATION BACK TOGETHER ALL ON MY OWN.

True

KARKAT: HE DID THAT ON HIS OWN. AND WE MADE THE CHOICE TO GO AFTER HIM ON OUR OWN.

Yes, and you’ll possibly convince him more of that over time, though not in this short conversation

KARKAT: I WAS FOLLOWING YOUR LITTLE TRAIL OF COOKIE CRUMB FEARS UNTIL IT LEAD TO THE BIG SNACK FINALE OF WORRY ABOUT MY FRAGILE MORTAL MEATSACK. KARKAT: IF I HAVE SOMEHOW NOT BEEN CLEAR ABOUT THIS WITH YOU YET, LET ME GO AHEAD AND RECTIFY THE SITUATION RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. KARKAT: HANGING OUT WITH YOU ON THIS LONG TRIP TO WHO THE SHITTING FUCK KNOWS WHERE IS QUITE LITERALLY THE HAPPIEST I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY ENTIRE MEAGER EXISTENCE. KARKAT: I'M SO ABSOLUTELY BLISSED THE FUCK OUT OF MY MIND TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT YOUR STUPID IMMORTALLY SMOOTH HUMAN FACE SKIN EVERY DAY AND NOT HAVE A COMPLEX ABOUT IT.

D’AWWW

And with that darkly angry expression too, that’s PERFECT

I mean it’s true.  What exactly would they be doing DIFFERENTLY on Earth C other than enjoying each other like this?  It’s pretty fucking great.

...hm.  Isn’t this journey-not-the-destination stuff pretty Breathy?  Karkat’s proving more balanced by the moment.

KARKAT: AND I'LL BE STRAIGHT WITH YOU. IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN EXPERIENCING SOME COMPLICATED GUILT, MYSELF. KARKAT: THE FACT THAT I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE JUST FUCKING CHILLAXING AND BEING IN LOVE IN SPACE IS A CLEARLY INCONGRUOUS WITH THE REASON I'M ACTUALLY HERE CHILLAXING TO BEGIN WITH, AND I'M NOT LETTING MYSELF FORGET THAT, EITHER.

Pff.  He feels guilty for ENJOYING IT so much.  <3

KARKAT: BUT I RESENT THE IMPLICATION THAT MY HAPPINESS IS REGISTERING FOR YOU AS YOU HAVING TO JUST "SIT AROUND AND WATCH ME GET OLD," BECAUSE I KNOW YOU KNOW IT'S MORE THAN THAT.

I’m glad Karkat knows that DAVE knows somewhere in him that it’s more than that, because yeah, if Karkat thought he DIDN’T know that at some level that’d be a reason to take MUCH MORE SERIOUS offense.

KARKAT: LIKE, JESUS, DAVE. YOU KNOW I'M AFRAID FOR YOU, TOO, RIGHT? KARKAT: OR DID YOU FORGET THE WHOLE HEROIC DEATH THING? KARKAT: I WORRY ABOUT LOSING YOU FAIRLY FUCKING REGULARLY.

Hah!!!  Point taken.  Karkat must view Dave as practically more fragile than HIM.

KARKAT: ONE: WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA THAT I REFUSE TO NOT ENJOY THIS SHIT WHEN I FINALLY FUCKING GET IT, NO MATTER HOW LONG IT MAY OR MAY NOT LAST. KARKAT: TWO: IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE DOING NOTHING. WE’RE MOVING. WE’RE WORKING. WE’RE HEADED SPECIFICALLY TO A PLACE WHERE WE WILL UNDOUBTLEDLY ENDURE YET MORE FUCKING HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA. KARKAT: AND THREE: WE'RE DOING THAT BECAUSE WE HAVE FRIENDS WHO WE CARE ABOUT THAT NEED US. THAT IS OUR FOCUS, HERE. NOT OUR FEAR. IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WE HAVE TO SAVE. KARKAT: SO DON'T FUCKING WORRY ABOUT ME, DAVE. I'M FINE.

Okay, this is great and wholesome.  I am now retroactively GLAD that this topic got brought up.  :)

> ==>

Dave is still afraid. There is a part of him that will always be, he thinks. He has accepted this about himself. There is another feeling coursing through him too, though. It’s something he's felt before, though never quite so intensely. He looks up at Karkat and understands, viscerally, the simple power his words have. They pump through Dave’s own body, alive and warm and true.

He wonders if Karkat realizes it, or if he’s just, as always, saying what he feels as he feels it. Dave doesn’t attempt to dissect it further. There will be time for that later.

Every really loving moment like this is sort of undercut by the fact that it’s also, in some senses, part of alt!Calliope’s narration and, by extension, her fanfiction.

EDIT 2: There's also either a hint to potential Blood powers or even an explicit Blood power use here that I didn't recognize. I'm leaning towards it's-laying-the-groundwork-for-future-use-of-Blood-powers-but-isnt-magical-in-this-case.

> ==>

Smooooch!

That was nice.  Still gonna wait on doing any commentary til next time or a Bonus update or two, cause I’m beat.  See y’all next time!

[artsynimbus]

hello! and welcome to my tedtalk about how racism is rwby is godawful/godawfully executed :)

inb4 if this subject makes you uncomfortable, don’t read, move on to lighter posts----

anyway M&K and their ‘Racism’ in RWBY disgusts me- not to full on rant.. but I just find it funny how even in 2020 its very much a fact that racism is alive and well but also a very foreign concept to people who genuinely have never experienced an inkling of it in their lives.. these same people though love the idea/thought that being ‘aware’ of what the word means and how its overall construct is bad, is kudos enough for them to walk around with a fake woke badge hence the title..

Miles and Kerry dance around the subject of racism and drop sprinkles of it in the form of Blakes cat ears lowering when someone doesn't like her for being a faunus or the reoccuring old man with the bald head/busted hairline putting up a sign that says ‘no faunus allowed’.. thats it. The real damaging stuff that ends in black coded characters being abused, tortured or murdered via this very real construct in this fantasy world- ignored, never shown, told or roughly implied.. Also M&K had a whole character whos hatred of humans was born from this construct, branded on his whole face- but rather than get anything from that- they switch up his character from a menacing villain with a vague goal ( like cinder and roman) and hate for humans to an emotionally broken fuckboy pissed off that his ego was bruised by a girl who left his side.. and then to top it off they kill him.

Yeah all of that , while making sure the construct of racism is alive and well, and our main (human/whitecoded) characters who aren’t affected by it at all, move on and do fuck all- ignoring/aiding the problem that has been introduced since V1, addressed by only blackcoded characters, and solved by no one.. What is the overall message people are supposed to take from that? Suppress, write/kill off characters who have been affected by racism if they’re being ‘mean’ about it but keep the construct around cause why not- and our ‘heroes’ dont have to give a shit about it cause, it doesn’t affect them so why bother??? what a goofy mess and a grim overall image of the world of remnant and how similar it is to parts of the real world... but im not surprised the writers have a weird interest in fetishizing lesbians so i wouldn’t be shocked if they have a weird fixation getting off at the idea of oppressed people suffering just cause it mirrors real life.

but going back to our heroes and main characters who arent faunus.. Are these the heroes im supposed to like?? all of them doing nothing to address or even attempt to change a system that affects their faunus friends?? one of them is matter of factly related to one fo the main sources of the problem that plagues the faunus, but she hasn’t done anything about it right? Nah can’t have her do anything to aid that, cause then how will she and her family continue reap the benefits from this obviously terrible construct that allow black coded characters to suffer and her family to prosper? (Not gonna lie her growth is nice but why isn’t she doing anything about her family's dust company profiting off illegal faunus labor? Why hasnt that been addressed since v1? No ones talking about it anymore so its magically gone now??)

M&K: oH bUt ShE sPoKe Up AnD dEfEnDeD bLaKe WhEn PeOpLe WeRe BeINg MeAn To HeR!

yEs tHaNkS To tHiS, ThE RaCiSm iN YoUr eMoTiOnAlLy mAnIpUlAtIvE AnD MoRaLlY BaNkRuPt sHoW Is gOnE. hooray.

but whatever right, its not a big deal cause you hear about the suffering but don’t see it, that must mean its not important right? Yeah that message is just gonna fly over the heads of the people who seriously don’t get it cause the concept of racism is so foreign to them because again they’ve never been affected in any type of way by any form of said racism.

but yeah whatever, your only racist radical character was a mean scumbag and ppl didnt’ like him anyway, so lets get rid of him, oh and that character with the beautiful melanin and tiger ears, yeah lets kill her too cause while she wasn’t as terrible as the former we can’t have any faction leader exist that hates our human/whitecoded happy go lucky heroes or race of people, even though the story establishes half of them being super fucked up and the implication of our heroes silence on the subject of racism aids faunus oppression, but yes expanding further lets have our prominent character hailing from a company that benefits off this shit literally do nothing and address nothing all of the time she is at home and around her father--all the while lets keep dangling people being mean to the cute cat girl and call it racism and never find any means to solve it- that probs won’t trigger the fans that have experienced anything but this diet form of microaggression and beyond right?.. fuck our feelings right?

but no ones ready for that conversation- its okay for certain characters to get revenge but not others- its okay to forgive certain characters for their misdeeds, misgivings and misinformation but not others, its okay for certain characters to be straight up manipulative and evil, but not others- and the cherry on top of this fucked up parfait is being mean to cute faunus girls is perceived as a great way to present racism to fans who still don’t get it or care :D This just exposes how the writers do not know a damn thing about the subject they keep reminding you exists in almost every volume that they won’t remove or have white coded characters fight against... the only thing you’ll get is a bunch of sad sympathetic faces to the racism and microaggressions aimed at blake,and weiss being the main one saying “hey thats wrong youre rude.” What an ally.. forget anything i said prior to how her character could’ve dismantled 1 large part of faunus suffering, this right here is that good shit! Right?... but again, no ones ready for that convo.

Miles and Kerry are actual trashcans which makes sense as to how they’re garbage writers lul. anyway this has been my tedtalk. :)

[tslasvegas]

Episode 3: “UGH just rename Luxor to Loser” - Xavier

Well... that takes care of the Timmy problem... Love Timmy... Just didn’t know how our dynamic would be cus he was runner-up to the last survivor game I played which I won. Hm... Well...

That went well. There's nothing like a live video tribal to get people together. and stephen didn't react too badly. but i know now he won't work with me moving forward

I’m sorry I’m terrible at confessionals... So things are going well, I think we have a decent tribe but it is too soon to tell. I’m not a huge fan of creative challenges, at least from my previous game, I guess we will see how that goes. Most of the guys seem nice, still trying to feel everyone out.`

A 4-2 vote off is interesting. Someone is on the bottom for sure. Also, this next challenge is a creative challenge and when I do these solo I usually do really well. Hopefully I can channel that energy into a win for us here because two tribes are going to tribal. We’ll be down to 17 after this, so I’m not sure if we’d go into a tribe swap yet? Maybe 2 tribes of 8 with one person sitting out? 

Oh hot dang, two tribes are going to tribal next time. Probably going to be us :( now it is time to make alliance chats!

....five seconds later

I suspect that after this double vote out that there will be a tribe swap. I hope I end up with Mo and Jaiden at least.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/17NPxKO_TKgqjNqsaWlbmlL0jgU36Aygi/view?usp=drivesdk

I really like this challenge. I feel confident about it but at the same time nervous that 2 tribes will be going to tribal. I really hope my tribe wins this one since I still don't know how the tribe feels about me. Wish me luck guys!

My tribe is not going to win this immunity challenge. Our nightclub is due just hours away and we have little nothing done. I am going to have to scramble soon.....I did nothing to help my tribe with the challenge, so if it is me that goes, I would understand 

....five seconds later

Honestly, I want to keep Jaiden and Mo around because I feel closer with them than anyone else. I want to keep Kailyn around because she seems to make time for challenges. Everyone else I am okay with going home, Ben hasn't really done anything soooooo maybe him? Oof

If we lose, then it's 2/3rds my fault and 1/3 Stephen. We better not be on the chopping block if we do lose. This is a two person Tribe as of now. Bobby Jon and Stephenie.

...five seconds later

UGH just rename Luxor to Loser

Second we lose Ben finally responded to my pm’s..... hm..... alright....

Y’all rlly won with a PowerPoint SKDJDJSKLALALL

Some of these guys have an excuse for not giving input into the challenge. Some do not. If I go home because some americans could be bothered doing some base level discussion, ill be annoyed. If I go home because a tribe threw a challenge because they thought id be an easy vote, ill be pissed.

All that hard work that went into this challenge really paid off! We scored the best and don’t have to attend tribal!! Which is absolutely exciting! Andrew told me he wanted to work together which is rad. Livingston and I want to work together which is radder. And Joey and i want to work together which is raddest. I haven’t spoken too much with Jeff lately even though we talked quite a bit early on. Pat and I speak occasionally. Stephanie and I didn’t really speak at all until recently but we’ve gotten into a good groove the last few days. I’m feeling pretty good about this game so far. I hope there’s no tribal swap or anything right away.

So when I get my chip total I'm gonna update Keegan. He is currently at a soap making class but I want him to know I am serious about working with him in this game and I think this is a good gesture. - keegan has let me know he has 4 chips and is willing to pool them over to me when we have enough so that we can unlock the store. I let him know I am okay with doing the same thing to him, whichever. But yes this is looking HOT for me. - "what's in the store?" | all i can really assume is advantages. we need 10 chips to unlock it. This is very similar to the Unnamed Season but the betting cap gives us more control. At this point, I don't think anyone can mathematically unlock without pooling chips. Keegan and I just need 1 more chip between us. Let's just hope we aren't separated by a swap or some shit. I am hoping for a bit more time on this amazing tribe to get that set up so I have a good idea of what the store holds.

Some of these guys have an excuse for not giving input into the challenge. Some do not. If I go home because some americans could be bothered doing some base level discussion, ill be annoyed. If I go home because a tribe threw a challenge because they thought id be an easy vote, ill be pissed.

We lost again!?!?!?!?!??! I am so surprised? Nah I'm kidding, but I don't care. I don't blame our team for losing because 3/5 of us were panicking because our president could be a cheetoh. I'm voting Stephen tonight, I hope the others follow suit. It SHOULD be simple, but 9 hours is a long time for Survivor; and if he knows it's him then might run around and create some chaos - which would be funny.

Rachael (love her she’s probably who I’m closest with along with DeNara and Kailyn) is not being subtle about the fact that she either has a pre-existing friendship with Ben or is currently aligned with Ben. Because Ben, from my knowledge has not been social with anyone, nor has he been super active and in our alliance chat with Kailyn, Rachael seems uncomfortable with the fact that Ben is said to be the vote and is saying she would prefer someone else to go. But like c’mon you can’t deny he hasn’t been social, and even if I had a friendship with somebody before a game, if they aren’t active I’m voting them out. Also I lied to my tribe a couple times this round because I’m lazy.

UGH. We LOST the challenge!!! And it wasn't even close *grumbles angrily* But it's okay. I'm gonna have to work my pussy out to this entire tribe to make them keep me around! I feel pretty good about this, I believe the target is leaning towards Ben but we'll have to wait and see. I don't think it's possible rn but I'm hoping for a swap soon so I can feel a little more re-energized in this game because my tribe has been super quiet lately... I think people will try to move the vote around so I'm going to use my current lack of employment as an opportunity to make myself stay alive on this tribe lmao

These guys are being super boring and either Jake is dumber than i thought, or shadier than i gave him credit for. Xavier might be trying to play me but regardless its doubtful ill stay. John seems to have the most chance of winning out of these four as hes not overplaying. Kevin hasnt spoken to me since the colin vote and it pisses me off that I might be going home after being one of two people that worked on the challenge when kevin was taken off the chopping block immediately for playing jeopardy. i hate this tribe.

....five seconds later

Johns out, Jake too by the sound of it. Time for plan B, which never works but might as well try. Fake idol time.

Oof well the uhh, “obvious friend group” has picked their target and it just so happens to be the only person I’ve made an actual alliance with :/ Poor DeNara. I really didn’t want to have to vote her off this early if I didn’t have to and then the worst part is she didn’t even hear it from me. Nobody is even mentioning game right now and Rachael is acting legitimately surprised to me when I came to her saying “okay this is an easier vote than I thought”.. even tho Ben claimed he had already talked to her..?? Idk man I must’ve done something wrong along the way but these people LEGITIMATELY don’t talk to me. My instant reaction is leaning towards being bitter but bitterness doesn’t really get me anywhere :/ I feel kinda.. out of it rn emotionally just because of everything else I have going on so if I seem more reserved tonight at tribal than usual, that’s why. I just hope that I’m not still stuck on that damn mountain rolling my dumbass rock back up only to get knocked back down again. I’m remaining optimistic for the future.. let’s keep winning some challenges mmkay

Okay good news, I shouldn't be leaving. But that being said DeNara, you have goT TO PULL. YOURSELF. TOGETHER. She's packing her bags and from my knowledge she's going to be fine tonight. Hopefully it'll be Ben who's going but DeNara giving up like this isn't helPING. 

....five seconds later

Also I am in two alliances which is cool I guess.

Oops....... and now I'm controlling this vote I think :) It feels good. I don't know what my plan is !! I'm lying to everyone. I basically put myself in a position to be the 4th person in both votes and I love it so much. I keep telling ppl I'm an emotional mess and I think I'll milk that because SOMEONE is going to get betrayed tonight... love that for me. Rachael, Nik, and Ben want to vote out DeNara Mo, Kailyn, and DeNara want to vote out Ben And tbh I would prefer Rachael or Nik!! Since neither of those things are happening I guess it's up to me to decide which way I wanna swing... I hate/love myself for this. I think there are good cases for both people to leave, because I think that getting rid of DeNara strengthens bonds I never had with Rachael and co. while getting rid of Ben just makes me their enemy. Honestly I am starting to lean towards getting rid of DeNara for that sole purpose alone. It'll be messy for sure. Ben provides NOTHING to the game right now and I hate the fact that he announced in his intro that he's just here to backstab people... but villains don't win unless they're sitting next to another villain. He's the goat to me and Rachael right now, but pretty homos like me always win xx I might regret this decision down the road but HOPEFULLY whichever side I take will pay me back in protection down the line. I think I have the charm to smooth shit over w Kailyn and Mo but its up for determination. I think that I have the finesse to beat Rachael in a vote, too, but I don't want to put her back up against the wall just yet..... ;) Anyways... I hope this isn't my last confessional. I wasn't having fun until I found my place. Let's get it on.

It is me or Ben tonight. Guess we will find out who...

[familyagrestefanblog]

In continuity Behavior and Details of the Sentimonster and what we can take from it + The effect of Cataclysm

Has anyone noticed yet that the two Sentimonster we have seen up to date (Hawkmoths in "Mayura" and Baby Augusts in "Miraculer") show a very particular Behavior pattern which helps us to better understand these creatures? It actually kinda blew my mind when I noticed it, let me show you! :D

But let me warn you, this got long ^^

I'll start with Augusts Lollipop Sentimonster because it has more screen time. 

Same as always with Hawkmoth, Mayura sends out one of her corrupted feather after she spots the upset Baby August. In context of this episode, one has to remeber that this Sentimonsters attack actual purpose was to set Chloe up for getting akumatized, so going for the Baby here (even though its morally wrong as hell) was not a bad move at all.

(Behold the Lollipop-monster, that my medicine influenced 2 am gif making self lovingly called “Lollipopulus Giganticus”, the diabetis brother of Mothitus Giganticus but we will get to that later)

The design. is. on point! The “akumatized” (do we really not have a name for this yet??) person is a baby who hasnt developed any complex thoughts and hasnt quite adopted the weird human need to completely humanoid monsters yet. The Baby is simple minded = The Sentimonster has a simplistic design without actual features or anything. August just has a HUGE desire for Lollipops so thats what the monster is. Some big ass Lollipops. Love it. 10/10, would lick again

Also take note how the Sentimonster stands here. It appears right in front of the Baby and even though it has no features like a face or anything we can still adumbrate from the camera-angle and the placement of the head and the lower arms that it faces away from August. Like a protector ready to defend. Remember that the Peacocks power is to summon a protector for someone and the following moments will give us more insight on how these protectors behave in a special occation.

Right after the Lollipop monster appears as his protector we see this. August is so delighted to see gigantic Lollipops that his pacifier (is this how you call it in english? I only get weird words as results when I look it up) falls out of his mouth and thats the catalyst moment for the monsters behavior!

Cuz the feather is in the pacifier and in my theory the feather-akumatized object is how the feather-akumatized Person can control their protector. Which of course they should be able to. The Akuma victims are also free to use their powers to their own will and imo it would make very little sense to give someone a protector but only the (maybe very busy) miraculous holder has control over it. So I think as long as the feather-akumatized person is in possesion of the feather-object they alongside Mayura are the masters (with Mayura, as the miraculous holder, still having the upper hand like Hawkmoth being able to “dicipline” his free will Champions through pain (Which btw makes actually alot of sense even if or ESPECIALLY if the Miraculos are meant to be used for good. You dont wanna have a champion running around refusing orders/ or using their powers for a bad purpose without a way to keep them in check just in case. I think Mayura will have something like this too. That whoever right now posesses the feather-object can be “diciplint” by her for misusing the protector. But I digress)

But the thing is, August looses his pacifier the moment the monster appears, so the only one in control over it is Mayura at the moment but she...doesnt, the whole time. She just lets the monster do whatever on autopilot (Which makes sense concidering that the Sentimonster is only there for the sake of assembling the heros again and upsetting Chloe. Why commanding and controlling the monster when its not needed for the plan? Natalie saves her energie whICH IS PROBABLY A GOOD IDEA SINCE USING THE PEACOCK IS KILLING HER)

What? What I mean with on autopilot? Oh let me show you, its awesome!

Cuz the moment that August, the person the Lollipop PROTECTOR is supposed to PROTECT, looses his control over his Sentimonster it knows that its little human master has no way to command it in the needed ways to protect himself from danger anymore. And since the Peacock isnt giving it other commands the Monster follows its instinct

And what is this instinct?

This!

Right the moment its human master looses the control object, it turns around to check how and why this happened. Here it happened by sheer accident. August doesnt understand that its important that he keeps his pacifier but under normal circumstances the human master loosing the feather object would mean that they were attacked, hurt or otherwise in danger

And thats exactly what the Sentimonster is thinking, when it sees August being taken away by his mother. Because in the next shot with it

We see. it chasing. after. THE BABY! Oh my god kudos to you SentiSweety, you go protect your “kidnapped” little master!

This is such an awesome trait these Sentimonsters seem to have that the moment they fear their humans are in fundamental danger without being able to protect themselves with their help, their priority number 1 is chasing after them to save them. It makes so much sense that they would have this instinct but somehow it still blew my mind when i noticed it! :D

Okay next and last important Lollipopulus moment (I think i’ll keep that name. My loyal Diabetes son deserves a name and fight me on this however you want, but he looks like a “Lollipopulus” kind of guy to me. Look at that jaw-line, it demands an “ulus” ending”)

The Sentimonster isnt just attacking LB and CN for the heck of it. We know that it thinks its master got kidnapped and is in danger, so when it sees our heros here getting ready to fight IT, of course it would think that they are “bad” too. Probably for an Sentimonster whoever is against it and the master-to-protect will be seen as “allied evil” by it, especially in autopilot modus.

Also. When you fear your protégé is in mortal danger so you wanna save them at all cost and then someone attacks YOU, you fight back. HARD. Because when the attackers hinder or even defeat you, noone is there to save and protect your protégé. And for an Sentimonster, save and protecting their masters is their entire purose of existing. So yes, Lollipopulus here wont hesitate a second to fight LB and CN just so it can get to August.

Though I might add, that I still think Sentimonsters are resonable creatures when used by or for a good person. They only want the best for their masters. So lets say Mayura would have featherrupted Augusts mother instead but she still had lost the control-object. So while running away with August (and the Sentimonster running after her in autopilot) she had met one of her 3 men and they ended up cowerig somewhere trying to protect each other and the baby. When the monster had arrived and had seen that the unkown man is protecting her and that SHE is protecting HIM too, the Sentimonster wouldnt have done anything to the man. Obviously the man is no danger to its master and the master trusts the man.

When the master has the control-object this is even easier because then you can simply tell the monster that your friends, familie or whatever arent enemies. Then they will be under the Sentimonsters protection too. Of course this works the other way around too and is probably how the Sentimonsters will be used for evil. Give them an akuma victim as master and they can be one hell of a threat trying to protect them.

So coming back to the situation in the gif. I think if LB and CN had calmly talked to the Sentimonster, asking if its looking for its protégé and if they can help, the Lollipop monster would not have attacked at all. Like I said, the Monsters just want the best for their masters and to protect them. The way I see it, when a Sentimonster is on autopilot it decides for itself who's friend and who's foe. This could lead to interesting development in future because right now team miraculous still sees most everything very black-and-white, as seen above, they inmediadly went to attack when it probably wasn't needed at all. The fact that Chat Noirs family are literally the bad guys is gonna help alot to open up the grey area between black and white but smaller things like this, trying to understand and becoming allies with Sentimonster could also add another layer to their growth as well

Though Mayura was still in the picture here so she totally would have commanded the monster to attack the heros. Still you get my point.

Okay let's go over to Hawkmoths Sentimonster before I'll continue endlessly

With this one I'll kinda skip the beginning, I'll just go quickly over the most important factors and then focus more on the new and interesting stuff.

With Hawkmoth we saw that Mayura does the same as he does. She sends out something corrupted, it finds an object, she telepathically communicates with the person and we get MOTHITUS GIGANTICUS

Before I start let me quickly point out that just like Augusts Sentimonster the butterfly appears right before Hawkmoth, facing his foes and ready to defend its master. The behavior pattern is there and will mostly likely be continued is most of the Sentimonster cases.

Alright lets talk about the design!

When you concider that Mothitus’ purpose was to be the “teaser” Sentimonster and to gently be our introduction for Mayuras powers and for the bigger and grander Sentimonsters to come then this is one great design. Its obviously something we havent seen yet but it isnt completely out there either so that we dont understand at all what going on anymore literally 20 seconds before the end of the fight. That would have been a bad style choice for a (maybe) never returning Monster, so they definitly did the right thing with this butterfly.

The design in general is really gorgeous in my opinien. Look at the little details! The wings, the tail, the head! I also like that designers were able to create a model that can be both a butterfly and a moth at the same time. Yes they are simular, but they still look different enough that they totally could have created a model which just would have looked like either a butterfly OR a moth. They made it work with both and thats awesome!

Even if I know that Mothitus doesnt exactly count as a legit Sentimonster (since its practically more used as an lore and future teaser than an actual enemy) I still find the parallels between Hawkmoth and his butterfly monster and August and his Lollipop monster very interesting. Like I said above, August Lollipop monster was gigantic but simplistic in design since August is just a simple minded baby with a huge desire for Lollipops. Key words gigantic but simple. Hawkmoths Sentimonster on the other hand is alot smaller but much richer in detail because of his adult (and designer) mind. Beside that Gabriel also focused alot more on the monsters function than August (what a surprise I know). The butterflys wind are so strong that they can blow away all the heros and untangle Ladybugs yoyo net. Also with its wings and smaller body it would be able to quickly hunt the heros no problem. The Lollipop monster on the other hand was only good for crashing its Lolli arms into buildings, beside that it had no other useful qualities. Also It was too large to effectivly chase after the “kidnapped” August, not exactly well thought out August up your Monster game please.

In shorter Hawkmoth created a useful protector and August...well, his lollipop fever dream. Babies will be babies

Okay lets start with what is new though (or better said, what different this time).

For one the fact that August lost his control object but Hawkmoth never had it on him in the first place. This actually doesnt make a lot of difference in the Sentimonsters behavior, just that lollipopulus checked on his master what hapened that August lost his object and if he is in danger and Mothitus already knew that his Master was in grave danger and didnt had to check to know.

Then “Mayura” gave us the comfirmation straight away that Natalie can snap the Sentimonsters away like that

Also this shows us that Mayura is willing to strategically stop the Sentimonsters when she sees no use in them anymore. That is very different from Hawkmoth! She seems to really be here only to get results, not to make a show or take some kind of sadistic pleasure out of this or whatever. This move alone makes her seem like a scarily competent and level headed supervillain and honestly, its still one of my favorite things Mayura has done til now. Just this little snap speaks VOLUMES about her! :D

And then the BIGGEST difference is that after accepting the featherruption August was happy and healthy whereas Hawkmoth became weak and hurt.

Before “Miraculer” came out this is what I thought was what would normally happen to the featherrupted people. That because of the peacocks brokeness the people who Mayura powers up get hurt along side her (cuz before his featherruption Gabriel was completely fine) but, no, August is perfectly fine. This means there are two options here

That something happenes in “Reflektdoll” which makes Mayuras powers useable again so that the akuma victims wont get weakened from her giving them back-up (which is possible in my opinien, I could see this happening)

That something was different about this featherruption that normally wouldnt be the case. And I might have an idea even if I dont know if its really something the show would do. Would be totally awesome though if this were legit!

Okay, the one detail that DEFINITELY is different here from at least 90% of all the future featherruptions is that Hawkmoths control-object was CATACLYSMED!

To understand why I think the control-object being cataclysmed beforehand would have such an effect I need to clearify that even though I’m saying that Hawkmoth and Mayura “corrupt” their butterflies/akumas, feathers and the victims, its frankly nowhere true at all. I just like saying it like that. What they do is basically just filling the butterflies/feathers with power and let them find a fitting person so they can 1. build the connection between them and the chosen and 2. then manipulate the chosen people so they join them. There is no corruption going on here. Neither do they break or control either the butterflies/feathers nor the people themselves. They power up, thats what they do.

The cats power of destruction on the other hand is a whole different story here.

I’m planning on doing a whole post just about this at some point in future with alot more details, thoughts and ideas but I’ll try to do my best to explained it here without putting you guys through another 5000+ words of wildly digressing. (Me now 4 hours later: Yeah no I did it again, It got long xD)

Basically my point is that the Ladybug is capable of purifying the akumas and the feathers. “Purifying” IS the right word to use here because something doesnt have to be explicitly “corrupted” to be purifyied. As I said, Hawkmoth and Mayura power up, that means even if they dont corrupt them they still change the nature of the feather/butterfly and that is what the Ladybug reverses. So Ladybugs purifying (and the Miraculous Ladybug for that matter) is basically her taking back the changes other people did to something. Thats whats happening every episode and thats why shes the one again dealing with the feathers. She reverses what has been changed, no other power does that.

Back to Chat Noir

The show has explicitly told us that the Cat and the Ladybug are the most powerful miraculous in existence and that fact still stands even if Chat noir right now can not and doesnt WANT to use his powers or explore them to their limits in the current situation (speak, that they try to spread hope and safty in terror attacks which wreck the city almost on a daily basis. Not exactly the right time or space to use and try out new ways of using the boundless power of destruction). I dont think I have to explain that this is not how the situation will be forever, of course Adrien will actually use his powers to their limits later, the show forshadowed that to hell and back by now and “Chat Blanc” will VISUALLY introduce us to what CN actal powers look like (I'M SO EXCITED!!!) the same way they did it with queen bee/wasp (im not the only one who made the connection that they use the power up of the akumatization to show us or at least forshadow the Miraculouses future actual powers right? RIGHT???

Anyway, I DIGRESS

The Cat and the Ladybug are equals and since they are also Yin and Yang for each other it also means that not only do they as individuals and the nature of their miraculouses complete each other, their powers too complete the circle.

So when Ladybug can purify (again, meaning that she reverses every damage and everything that other people do to something) the Cat should be able to corrupt everything.

To keep this paragraph shorter (I will go into so much more detail in the post for this topic oh my god) lets just explain this with the example from the Heros day. The Cats destruction and “corruption” is showing itself here with something Chat Noir is doing all the time: He isnt completely pullverizing the akuma-object to dust, hes rather damaging and weakening it to the point were it cant be used for its original purpose anymore and is easily breakable/aleady falling apart. (This seems to be the default affect of Cataclysm) In this case it is Hawkmoths weapon, which is his cane/sword.

In my theory when Chat Noir uses Cataclysm on something he not only does the above, he also inflicts the still existing object with some kind of...lets call it a virus. Now you may ask yourself “Why? Why should destroying something so hard that it looses basically every usage it had + infecting it with an destructive virus but NOT actually destroying it out of existence be the default state of cataclysmed objects? Shouldnt the power of pure destruction rather basically wipe everything touched out of existence?”

And that is were we were wrong! And I am saying “we” because its almost 4am here and I just fucking noticed this and went back on my laptop oh my GOD I’m excited again! :D

The default of Cataclysm isnt “destroying it out of existence” because that is not what “Destruction” is. That is “Annihilation”! Destruction and annihilation are two very different concepts that shouldnt be mixed up but everybody is doing it because of how we use the word “destruction/destroy” in our daily vocabulary. That is why probably almost everybody of us at least once asked themselves why Chats cataclysm is portrayed so “oddly” in the show. “He’s not really destroying it, hes just fucking it up!” And thats exactly what hes doing because thats exactly what his power is! He’s destroying it so fucking hard that the cataclysmed object loosed every usage it could have. He’s not messing like Roi Singe either, the object is completely fucking worthless now! 100%. But what hes NOT doing is taking it out of existence because THAT is Annihiliation. Not the concept of his power. The only time you will see annihilation instead of destruction is when it concernes BODYS (Like Chats cataclysm death in “Catalyst” because by god they really can not show messed up human bodies slowly dying on the show. Only exception)

Now working with the actual “destruction” concept and not with the wrongly used “annihilation” one, the destructive “virus” in the destroyed object seems alot more plausible. Because when Chat Noir uses the power of pure destruction on something, really every usage it could possibly have needs to be effected by it and THAT also includes the possibility of it being used as an out of reach object for Akumatizations or featherruptions for example. Without the “Virus” Hawkmoths cane still would have had a consequence free use there but WITH the virus spreading through it the featherruption got corrupted by Chats destruction and hurt and weakened Hawkmoth so much that a limping Gabriel collapsed around somewhere still nearby and had to detransform out of exhaustion. And frankly, Mayura only powered up the cane for a really short amount of time. Imagine how Gabriel would have ended up if this had gone longer. He probably wouldnt have been able to recover so quickly afterwards

Alright guys this is really everything I have for this, let me know what you think ^^ And @letsescapismlife I hope i could partly show you why I love Miraculous so much. Dont get me wrong, I still have some other posts in work for your request but just the theorizing the whole night through and getting excited at 4am because you just noticed something, is one of the biggest joys I get out of this show ^^

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

PROMPT GAME #1

Totally unedited and I have to cut the storyline a little short, because well, its supposed to be a drabble. Ahahah ❤ and I decided to combine all promts you requested into one.

"Seriously Jeon? You have fucked everyone else and now you are finding girls in my home?" Y/N sighed and walked passed the shirtless male, grinnibg with his mouth full of cereal. Her cereal, in her house, using her bowl.

"Not my fault your roomate is hot," he winks, totally shameless about the fact that he and her so called roomate keep the whole house, specifically her, since shes the only other person in there anyway, awake all night, with their disgusting activities. Endless activities. "Cereal?"

Y/N rolled her eyes and grab the half eaten bowl and throw in the sink.

"No thanks, and thanks for offering, since that is my cereal in the first place. Now that you have disgraced this house, would you please get out so I can comfort my roomate when she realizes what an asshole you are and what a mistake she made?"

"Aww, come on Y/N why so grumpy? Someone not getting any?" Jungkook smirk, slipping on his shirt, thank god. He might be an asshole, but hes an asshole with a bod! And its hard to be snarky with his hard pecs staring back at her.

"Ive been getting plenty on my own, thanks," Y/N rolles her eyes again. "And I rather be dead than being with you in the same bed Jeon,"

"Oh come on Y/N, I know you wish I want you. Hey, maybe I do. Wanna gove it a try?" He winks, taunting her.

"Just get the fuck out Jeon," Y/N open the door and crossed her arms, waiting for Jungkook to walk himself out.

"Okay, okay, no need to be so hostile," he laughs and walks out. "See you babe. Just call me if you change your mind, I'll make time for you," he laughs before the door slammed at his back.

The rivalry between Y/N and Jungkook started so long ago that even Y/N cant remember how it even started or if its even relevant anymore. But what she knows is that she hates that fuckboy's guts. Walking around like he owbs the damn campus. Well, maybe it started whe Jungkook pull her braids at the playground when they were 5 or maybe it didnt. It doesnt matter anyway. What natters is that Y/N hates him.

Whole heartedly.

/////

"Ouch!" Y/N turns around as her hand hit a solid rock. A rock that makes a sound. Wait, what rock?

Theres an intruder in her bed!

Y/N freaks out and immediately sits up, a massive headache attacking her head like sharp needles before she takes in her surrounding.

This is not my room.

And I am definitely not alone.

Not just not alone... Y/N turns her head slowly and nervously to the side and screamed out when she sees Jungkook rubbing his head, evidence of being hit by her hand earlier, naked, only with a blanket covering his bottom half.

"What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Geez woman, stop shouting. Its like too early for this," Jungkook rubs his eyes and yawns, totally unbothered by the fact that they are in bed together and naked.

"Get out! What are you doing in my bed?! What did you do to me?" Y/n starts hitting him.

"Yah! Stop it!" Jungkook catches her hands and hold it tight. "First of all, this is my bed. So the question you should ask is, what are you doing in my bed?" Jungkook smirked. "And second, you dont remember?"

"Remember what? What did you do to me?! I couldnt have done this on my own free will! Never!"

"Oh sweetheart, think it long and hard and maybe you will remember," he grins and lays back on the headboard, totally relax.

Y//N scrunched her nose, trying to remember, and slowly everything came back to her.

"I cant believe I missed the dateline for my Math project!" Y/N wailed to her friend. "Im so stressed oit. Urghhh!"

"Then I have good news my friend. Theres a party happening tonight, and I heard its gonna be big. Everyone is invited,"

"Then I'm in!"

"Wow, you are really stressed out. Nerdy Y/N saying yes to a party without hesitation? Amazing,"

/////

"Wow, never seen you at a party before," Jungkook grins towards Y/N as he sits on the kitchen counter of the packed house, a bottle of beer in his hand. "This is usually my forte,"

"Pissed off Jeon. Why are you everywhere," Y/N slurred, losing balance and almost fell if Jungkook didnt catch her.

"And definitely never seen you this drunk before," Jungkook helped to steady her. "Actually, I have never ever seen you drink, at all. Are you alone? Who did you come with?" Jungkook looked around, concerned etched on his face. "Lets just sober you up a little then I'll send you home okay?"

Jungkook held her shoulders and bring her upstairs, to his room. Its such luck that the party is being held at his frat house. His room is off limits to everyone, but this is an emergencu. Hes not going to leave Y/N downstairs to be taken advantage by all the guys at the party. He knows the guys. He is one of them. But he will never let anything happen to Y/N.

Not Y/N.

"Just lie down here. Ill take some water for you okay?" Jungkook places her on his bed, covering her with a blanket.

"Nooo, dont go," Y/N pulls him, making him fall on her and giggles. "Wow, you are so handsome," she traces his face with her fingers.

"You are definitely drunk Y/N," he laughs, he hinself a little tipsy.

"No, I am not. Hey Jeon... Why do I hate you again?" Y/N stares into his eyes, not letting her grip on him go.

"I-I dont know.." Jungkook whispered. He knows its wrong. Y/N is definitely drunk, and he himself is intoxicated. And they hate each other, dont they? Atleast thats what Y/N been telling him, but Jungkook hasnt been hating her for the longest time already. Its actually quite the opposite.

"Jungkook?"

"Y/N?"

And as Y/N pulls his face, connecting their lips together, the rest of the night is history.

/////

"Fucking. Hell..."

"So I take it you remember?" Jungkook grins.

"I was drunk! You took advantage of me!" Y/N screamed making Jungkook laughed. So dramatic.

"Me?! You are the one who make the first move! You took advantage of me! Besides, its not so bad. I made you feel good," he winks. "We both kinda win here,"

"Urghhh, shut up!" Y/N quickly stands up and collect her clothes which is strewn all over the room, hastily putting it on, all the while mumbling like crazy. "Not a word of this to anyone! Oh God, I cant believe this happened! I an serious Jeon, no word to anyone!"

Jungkook laugh and made a swear sign with his hand.

"I swear. I wont tell anyone. Although are you sure? I know you want to gloat on how good I made you feel," he laughs more.

"Shut the fuck up! Urghhhh," she threw a pillow to his head, missing him by an inch, making him laugh more as Y/N scurried away.

"Thanks for the night!"

"Fuck off!" Y/N screamed out and slammed the door, leaving Jungkook still laughing on the bed, mumbling to himself, smiling.

You are such a pain in my ass, it actually hurts to fucking love you Y/N. If only you knew how I feel.

/////

Eversince that fateful morning, it seems like Jungkook is everywhere. She cant seems to shake him away. Grinning, waving, annoying her...

Y/N never told anyone about that night of course. She doesnt want to be knows as another one of Jungkook's girls, or his latest victim. Jungkook is someone she despise and thats the extend of their relationship. And she would like to keep it that way.

But fate of course have another plan and her science teacher partnered her up with Jungkook, as part of the mentor - protege program hes trying. A good student oartnered up woth a less performing on, in hopes it could help each other. Worse, after weeks ignoring him and asking him to do his own thing, the class is assigned with a project, something Y/N could never run from. And that is how she is in the library, sitting beside a grinning Jungkook.

"We are finishing this project as fast as we can and thats it,"

"Oh come on Y/N. Cant we atleast be friends?" Jungkook grins, teasing her. "Afterall, you have seen me nak-"

"Shut up!" Y/N quickly covers his mouth. "What are you trying to do? Telling everyone we hooked up? It was a drunken mistake okay!"

Jungkook laughs and mumble to himself. So cute.

"What?"

"Nothing. I didnt say anything," he smiles and shrugs.

"Look Jungkook, I'm serious okay? This marks are important to me. Lets just do thia properly and be serious about it. I will divide the work load so we can do it on our own time and we can meet uo eve-"

Y/N was cut off when his lips landed on her and he grins.

"What the hell did you just do?!" Y/M hissed, looking around to see if anybody noticed. "Didnt I tell you just now? You cant just go around kissing people! I mean, I know you are a manwhore but thats not how the rest of the human world works! Stop being a-"

Another kiss.

"Jeon Jungkook!"

"I only kissed you because you were talking too much," he smile, bunny teeth showing, chin olaces in the palm of his hand that is laced together, looking at her.

"I-uh..."

"See, it works. You are finally speechless," Jungkook smile got wider. "Lets get to work shall we?"

/////

The project did bring Jungkook and Y/N closer together. They can be now considered somewhat... friends?

"So.. do you still hate me?" Jungkook asks as they are having coffee together after submitting their final project.

"Well.. hate is a strong word Jeon," Y/N smile. "And I think I am getting used to you. But I still dont like you," she giggled.

"Well, I'll take that," Jungkook smile. "Uh.. hey.. do you want to go to the dance with me?" His voice laced with nervousness.

Y/N was surprised by his question. Is Jungkook asking her out?

"I-I mean, as friends? To celebrate our new friendship?"

"Whatt? Does the great Jeon Jungkook has no date for the dance?" She laughs.

"Hey, I spend all my time doing this project with you. I got your nerd aura all over me okay," Jungkook smile. "So will you?"

"Yeah," Y/N smiles. "Yeah, why not,"

/////

"Hey Minji, I have to meet up with my professor, kts a last minute thing. If Jungkook came can you tell him to wait? Please?" Y/N shouted to her roomate as she rushed to the door.

"Jungkook? Wait, you are going to the dance with Jungkook?" Minji raised an eyebrow.

"Y-yeah. He asked me. Wait, you are okay with that right? You said hes only a one night stand right?" Y/N stopped in her tracks.

"Of course. It was a mutual understanding. Im only surprised because I didnt know you two still hang out. And he never brings a date to a dance. And dont you hate him or something?" Minji questioned, hands crossed on her chest.

"Well, lets just say hes changed," Y/N smiles. "My phone is out of battery but I'll be back in a jiffy. Let Jungkook know ok? Thanks, love you!" Y/N waves off and went out.

Lets just see if Jungkook truly changed Y/N-ah. A fuckboy will forever be a fuckboy. And if you think a nerd like you can chabge him instead of someone like me, you are dead wrong. Minji smirks.

/////

"Oh hi Kookie, what are you doing here?" Minji gave him a sultry smile as she opened the door to see Jungkook looking dashing in a tuxedo, flowers in hand. He even get Y/N her favorite. How tentative. Minji rolled her eyes.

"Im here to pick up Y/N. For the dance?" Jungkook smile.

"Oh no," Minji puts a hand on her chest, brows furrowing in sadness. "I am sorry to hear that, but Y/N left,"

"Left? But I'm her date?"

"Kookie, I am so sorry. I dont know how to say this. But she was so happy she managed to tricked you. She said its some kind of revenge and that you are stupid to believe she would actually be friends let alone go to the dance with you?"

"W-what? N-no. Y/N couldnt... could she?" Jungkook's face pained as the clutch on the flowers loosen and drop to the floor.

"I am so sorry..." Minji carressed his face. "But hey.." he pulls him to the sofa and scoot closer. "I can make you feel better and forget about her,"

/////

Y/N almost ran home. Shes ao excited and she needs to get ready, to look good for Jungkook. She dont know why she have to, but she just wanted to. And shes late.

She happily pushed open her door, a wide smile on her face, which immediately dissapear once she is greeted with the image of Jungkook being balls deep inside her roommate, on the couch... in the middle of the fucking living room. He cant even find the decency to take ger to the room atleast? Knowing she lives here too?

"W-what?"

"Y/N?" Jungkook was shocked and immediately pull out, scouring for his boxers and slipped it on.

"What the hell?! You cant even wait for a few minutes without fucking anyone?!"

"You bailed! I thought you left. And what do you care? Arent I just some kind of revenge?" Jungkook smirked.

"What are you talking about?! Bail?!I was meeting my professor! I told Minji this. To tell you! And what revenge?!"

"Wait, what?" Realization suddenly hits him as he turns to face Minji who is smirking. "You lied? You bitch!"

"Hey, dont be mad at me. If you can just keep it in your pants this wont happen," she shrugs. "Y/N, I am just trying to show you that fuckboys will never change. Just one lie and hes already fucking someone else! How can you be wih him?"

"Shut the fuck up you lying manipularive bitch!" Jungkook yelled at her, trying to control his temper. But he knows Minji is not important right now. Y/N is. "Y/N listen to me, I can explain. Minji.. she said-"

"It doesnt matter Jungkook. Minji is right. Just one lie from her is all it needed for you to start sleeping with someone else?"

"Y/N, no. Its not like that. I was hurt. I was-"

"Save it Jeon," Jungkook stopped at the nickname. It felt so cold. He took a step forward, lurching for her arm but Y/N pull back immediately.

"Stop. Fucking. Touch. Me!" Y/N yelled. "Minji is right. Fuckboy never changed, get out Jeon,"

"Y/N-"

"Why should I care anyway right, we are just friends," Y/N angrily wipe her tears. "Maybe not even friends," she stormed off into the room, slamming the door, leaving Jungkook to pick up the pieces of broken heart.

/////

"Go away!"

"I am going to annoy you, follow you around until you talk to me. Until you forgive me. I dont care what it takes, or who knows how desperate I am!" Jungkook followed her around like a pupoy around campus for a whole three months now. Never once did he gives up. Y/N has finally had enough. The whole campus heard about how Jeon Jungkook, the campus player is now whipped and chasing some nerd. Y/N cant already tolerate the endless flowers, chocolates, gifts, texts and phonecalls that he sent everyday, but following her around, all day and all night? For three whole month? Its too much.

"Why wont you give up?! We were not even friends to begin with!"

"I am never giving you up. Ever!"

"Seriously. Why?! The fuck, why?!" Y/N has reached her limit, screaming in the middle of campus to the campus player, not caring to maintain her cool anymore.

"Fine, you wanna know so bad? Its because I fucking love you L/N Y/N! I have love you for so many years eventhough you hated me! And now that I have the chance to be in your life I am not gonna let some manipulating bitch ruined it for me! I want you and I am not gonna stop until I get you!" Jungkook's chest heaved from his confession. "Got your answer now?"

"N-no," Y/N shakes her head, eyes searching his. "It cant be. We hated each other!"

"I dont. I never did. I dont even know why you hate me? Ia it because I pulled your braids when we were 5?" Jungkook smiles. "That just means I like you Y/N. And I have never stopped since,"

"B-but all the girls you have been with? You are the campus player!"

"Its only to get you attention," he bunny grins. "I gor your attention when I slept with your roommate and I have stopped ever since Y/N. Please, believe me. I love you,"

"B-but-"

"Please Y/N," Jungkook kneeled down and hold her hands, in the middle of the busy campus. "I wont stop until you say yes. I will follow you. I will tell you everyday I love you. I will call you, text you, I wi-"

Y/N cuts him off by pulling him up, grinning, tears in her eyes.

"Serioualy Jeon, you are so annoying,just kiss me already," she grins, hands holding the back of his neck, making Jungkook smile with his bunny grin, love in his eyes.

"With pleaseure my love,"

[michaelreaderreblog]

My Truemate pt19

>> Catch up here << 

********************************************************************************

Word Count:2,409

Sam and Sarah walk in from their date, you look to them and see how happy they are.

All that lingers the thought about Dick Roman and his business partners that are abiding by their time to scoop you and Castiel away from your families and mates.

“I have an idea. Why dont I call Benny and his wife to come over and we can have a little get together. I dont think we have had a proper party for the newly bonded mates” Dean says while he gets up and walks into the kitchen to place the call.

“Yes. Now that we have everyone here, we can finally do that” you say as you get up from the couch and quickly bake up a cake before Benny and his wife stop by the house well you hope they would.

“Lets get take out while we are at it” Dean yells from the kitchen

“I’ll order something” you reply while picking up the phone and place an order of food.

“I’ll pay for it” Michael says while looking to you and Sam

“You dont have to” you say while getting off the phone

“I want to. A gift from Castiel and I” Michael says waving you off.

“Yes, since I didnt get a gift for the lovely couple” Castiel says looking between Sam and Sarah

“Why thank you, Michael and Castiel. The gift is thoughtful” Sarah says as a smile spreads on her face for the kind gift.

“We need to call uncle Bobby” you say while Dean and Sam go completely quiet

“And we need to Call Charlie, I mean they would love to meet everyone here” you add in while Sam has a smile on his face at the mentions of old friends back in Sioux Falls.

“Along with Jody and Alex” you continue adding on the list of people that need to come for a visit as soon as possible because they are basically family.

“Whose Charlie, Jody and Alex?” Castiel asks looking between you and Dean.

“Charlie is a good friend of ours and who happens to be Y/n’s personal private physician while she went into her heats. We didnt want to tip off the Government and risk loosing her. So we did everything under the table” Dean says while getting off the phone with Benny.

“Benny says he will come by in about an hour and will be bringing some food” Dean adds.

“Wow more food” you say while looking to Dean

Dean has no problems with more food. Either way he is still going to have one hell of a time eating all the good food. Not only Dean but Michael as well.

“Jody and Alex are good friends too. Alex is Jody's adopted daughter after she found her in one of Jody's jail cells. Jody is the sheriff back in Sioux Falls and Alex is a wayward who always got into trouble until Jody stepped up and adopted her” Sam tells the story behind Jody and Alex

“That is the most heart felt story I have ever heard. I dont think I have heard of anyone doing that for anyone” Sarah says while walking into the kitchen from the upper level of the house.

“Yeah we have good people back in Sioux Falls and y/n you are right we need to call them and invite them over. So you call huh?” Dean says while passing you the phone while you are mixing the cake mix into the bowl.

“Fine, here you mix and bake the cake” you tell Dean as you take the phone from him and hand the mixer and the bowl to him.

You dial Bobby's number first and on the second ring is when he picked up the phone.

“Well its about time you idjits call and tell me how things are going” he says as soon as he picks up the phone.

Hearing Bobby’s voice for the first time in months is what brought tears to your eyes. You compose the sob that wants to be released.

“I miss you to uncle Bobby” you tell him once he is done ranting.

“At least you still know my name baby girl. How are ya?” he asks in a cheery tone

“I have been better now” you tell him honestly

“What do you mean better now?” he asks with panic

“Dean found his mate” you say rather quickly because you didnt want to give him a heart attack over the phone.

“Dean what? Really? Your brother Dean Winchester?” he asks in disbelief

“Yes the Dean Winchester. I know its crazy right” you look to Dean who is basically glaring at you now and Castiel looks to you with his head tilted to the side.

“Sam is mated too and officially bonded” you tell him from asking how you have been.

“Well its about time he has moved on, seen that kid go through so much hurt” Bobby says as his voice changes from shocked to pleasant and hurt.

“Thats what I thought to when he came home from the city and with a added benefit to extending the family” you tell him while looking to Sam and Sarah.

“About this feeling better, what do you mean by saying that? Is everything alright? Need me to come out there?” he asks rather suddenly.

“Actually yes, it would be nice to have you out here and meet our mates” you tell him but the end comes out quietly.

Bobby goes silent for sometime and you pull away the phone and look to it.

“Whats wrong?” Dean asks after he places the cake in the oven.

“I think I lost uncle Bobby” you tell him almost hanging up on Bobby until you heard him.

“Im still here, I just couldnt believe when you said ‘our mates’. Did you find a mate as well?” he asks while his voice comes out to shaky.

“Yes, I did” you tell him as you smile and tears begin to form.

“Is he everything you could ask for?” he asks in a sincere voice

“Yes” you simply answer trying to contain yourself from crying.

“Well then thats all I ask for in him treating my niece with all the respect in the world.” he says very fondly.

“About everything else, we will tell you all about it. When are you able to come here?” you ask in hopes he would say soon.

“Well I can make flight arrangements right now” he simply answers.

“Good. Please hurry” you tell him in a small voice that sounded battered and fearful at the same time.

“Baby girl you are breaking my heart, are you sure everything is alright?” he asks

“Just please hurry” you tell him in a whisper like tone

“Alright, I will call you right back when Im done making the flight plans alright?” he asks

“Ok, Bobby?” you say before hanging up

“Yes?” he asks quietly.

“I love and miss you so much” you tell him while wiping away the tears

“I love and miss you too baby girl. I will call right back when Im done” he says and thats when the call goes dead.

You stay leaned against the wall and press the button to end the call and a tear falls while you let out a soft sob. Dean walks into the kitchen to check on the cake and sees you tearing up. He rushes to you and pulls you close to him.

“Hey whats wrong?” he asks at top of your head.

“Please dont let anything happen to me or Cas ok? Just promise me you will protect us” you plead with him and reek up the kitchen in fear.

Michael runs into the kitchen because he could faintly feel the fear you are giving off.

For either of you to feel each others emotions is when the bond needed to be complete by comsumating and thats when the both of you could feel what each of you are feeling.

Dean didnt realize how strong you and Michaels bond is. Even when it hasnt been completed. He is beginning to realize that your bond with Michael is the ultimate type where once completed then it will not be broken.

From the beginning of time, when mates were first brought together by scent. When the right one came along, their bond would be so strong, no one can ever come between the two. The claiming bite cannot be reversed if the two mates ever fall out of wed lock. But that hardly ever happens.

“Whats wrong?” Michael asks walking towards you and Dean

“Im just scared and worried that something is going to happen and I just need reassurance that Im going to be safe along with Cas” you honestly tell Michael as you pull away from Dean.

Before Dean or Michael could say anything is when the phone rang and Sam picked it up.

Dean grabbed the phone from Sam while he looked over to everyone and said it was Bobby.

He talked with him most of the hour while Benny and his wife Andrea came by the house to celebrate the completed bond between Sam and Sarah.

“Well this has been fun and the cake was really good.” Andrea says after she takes a sip from her cup of tea.

“Thanks, it was our moms recipe and we still use it. We also use her icing recipe as well” Dean replies looking to Benny and Andrea

“The cake was delicious. Soft and melts in your mouth, love the recipe. You can tell it was made with love, its all baking and cooking should be” Andrea says while looking to Dean

“That recipe has been in the family for many generations and Im happy it was passed down to me” you say while finishing the rest of your cake

“You know, people would love this. How about sampling a few cakes at the diner?” Benny asks in hopes you or either of your brothers would agree.

Dean and Sam look to you right away. They couldnt agree with anything unless you agree first.

Your brothers always gave you that choice first when it came to family recipes or anything in general.

That also went for job offers that were offered to your brothers. They always needed your approval first before they gave their answers. Or applying for a job or opening a new business.

“Sure, just as long as I am the one baking those cakes” you answer while looking to your brothers.

“We always gave her that choice first, didnt matter what it was. We always needed her approval first for just about everything” Sam says while smiling to you.

“Thats because shes the lady of the house. A lady knows what is best for her the men she loves and cares for” Andrea says while smiling to you and your brothers.

“Since she is the first Omega of our family, she will remain the head of the family” Sarah says while placing her hands on yours.

“We both are, well the three of us are” you correct yourself since Castiel will be the third.

“Already forgetting about me?” Castiel asks in a sarcastic tone

Everyone in the living room burts into laughter

“No one can ever forget about you Castiel” Michael says looking to his brother.

Everyone goes silent, all that lingers is happiness, sadness, worry and fear.

“Look I know you have been feeling uneasy about the Roman thing and how he has gotten into the brothel business. I just want you to know that we arent going to let anything happen to you or Castiel. I know how sudden this sounds but we think its better if you consumate your bond with Michael and Dean with Castiel. That way it will be a lot safer for the both of you.” Sam says at the table while Dean looks to Castiel and everyone else nods in agreement.

You and Michael look to each other and you can feel he is worried to.

“I think you're right Sam. I am not saying this because I want to be kept safe and away from Roman but I agree because the scent is screaming at me.” You honestly tell everyone and you look to Dean who is trying hard to let go of you.

“Dean, I know you have raised me most of my life but I think this is a good time to let me go and be mated” you look to Dean and Sam is beginning to get teary eyed while Sarah has a hold on him.

“I know, I told myself that one day you will find a mate and that would be the day that I let you go. I didnt think that today would be the day and I think its time to let you go” Dean says while Sarah and Andrea begin to tear up at the moment thats right in front of them.

“Are you sure? I mean I dont want to pressure you into anything that you dont want to do and if you need time than I can give you that. Just by spending time with you means the world to me” Michael says before you could answer anything.

“Michael I think its time for me as well. I am ready to be with the one I truely belong to and truely love” Castiel says while everyone looks to him.

“Castiel” is all Michael could say before he gets teary eyed as well because its the same with him and letting go of his baby brother.

“No, he is right. It is time. I have been waiting long enough and ever since I scented you thats all I could think of. Michael I am ready” you tell him and agree with Castiel

Your brothers look to each other and didnt know what to say to each other. They hoped your mate would ask Bobby for his blessing since he was like a father to you and he always thought of you as his baby girl.

“Dean, do I have your blessing to claim y/n as my mate?” Michael asks looking to Dean because as the oldest between the three of you siblings would be the perfect person to ask since your father was no longer living.

Although no Alpha ever asks for permission any more but Michael and his family always lived by that tradition.

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

HIStory’s ranked (no one asked, but here i go)

so i was sittin here, talkin to myself about the HIStory series’ and was like ‘hey, i should rank them’ (which i’ve seen a few other people do, but mines a lot more rambling than there’s because i can’t shut up lol) 

so here’s my views lol (ordered from worst to best, imo):

6) My Hero (HIStory1) -

probably universally acknowledged as the worst episode, and i’d be inclined to agree with the masses on this lol... not only is the tone and humour of this series so weird and disjointed, but the entire story line literally makes no sense lol?? it’s unclear who the audience should be rooting for (especially as it goes out of it’s way to paint our protagonist as really unlikable lol, not to mention the love interest is the dullest character ever conceived like ???), as well as this the ending feels completely unrelated and bizarre... 

i think this concept /could/ have worked if the guy the woman was inhabiting (which sounds weird without context, but like she’s dead lol) was somehow also inside his head? or if she got to see his memories or whatever & tries to adjust her personality to match the guy’s, causing love interest!dude to fall in love with the guy... (like i could go into more detail, i basically hav an entire au written in my head lol, but yh...)... that way, her letting go of him in the end would feel so much more well set up? especially if she was generally more understanding and likeable.. 

i think overall this series just fails in telling a decent story lol... & the cringe is even beyond what i can handle lol

5) Obsessed (HIStory1) -

people might be surprised to see this one so low down, especially since i know a lot of people really love this series (& if u do, no hate to u btw, ur allowed to like whatever u want idc), but i realllllly don’t like this series... like at all ...

the plot is weird anyway, which isnt inherently a bad thing, but then u add on the really bad couple and it’s just...... bad lol... like everything about their relationship is built on lies and deceit, and even more so than that it’s built on a lack of mutual respect and fundamental trust for each other! tall guy (i don’t know names soz) feigns memory loss in order to get closer to short guy (btw, the scenes with them being domestic were really sweet, & i firmly believe this could have been an alright series for the actors if the story line wasn’t so bad), short guy’s whole existence in that universe was a lie lol (like i know there’s no easy way to tell someone ‘lol well i’m technically from the future’ but still), then there’s the whole resolution at the end & it’s just so ??? frustrating lol!

nothing bugs me more than seeing conflict in relationships (on screen or irl) that could be solved simply by TALKING TO EACH OTHER GODDAMNIT & isnt lol... my other issue with this series is the fact tall guy 100% forced himself upon short guy in the tent & like we’re just supposed to accept it cos ?? he’s saying no and pushing away but actually he wants it because he loves tall guy ?? like fuck no i’m not accepting that lol! 

basically, bad & bizarre story & characters, & gross tropes just makes this hard for me to watch and enjoy lol... i think, like in my hero, this could’ve done with being a different story altogether lol... (maybe tall guy actually did lose his memory & he falls for short guy all on his own with no predatory intentions?? idk something like that)

4) Right or Wrong (HIStory2)

this one & my number 3 are very much tied tbh, but this one is just slightly lower just because i’m not as big into the couple as i know a lot of people are... & it’s not necessarily the age gap, cos i dont actually mind age gaps in pairings (just as long as the younger one isnt a minor, obv... and also i think any gap that’s 30+ years is a bit weird lol..).. i think my big problem with this is i dont really see why younger guy (again, i have no idea of any of these characters’ names lol) would fall for the older guy? like the older guy is obvs going thru some issues, and hasnt been taking care of himself or his kid properly because of them, but like we dont rly see a lot of why he’s a great guy? like we get the sense young guy is attracted to him, but like love is more than just thinkin they’re hot lol... idk lol this might just be me tbh i just couldnt see why he’d be interested lol

i did like the whole family side though, and showing how a man who was previously with a woman can still end up with a guy (bisexualityyyyy (or some variation of that thereupon)) is something you dont always see in media, so i thought that was pretty cool! (even if the ex-wife thing was kinda lame lol...) 

i think overall i see what this series was going for, and that it actually did an alright job in some parts... the biggest problem is that it’s kinda just forgettable lol... maybe that’s why people like obsessed so much lol? maybe it was a train wreck but ohh boy at least u wont forget it in a hurry lol!

3) Stay Away From Me (HIStory1) -

i’m a bit torn about this one, cos there are parts of it i actually really like (them going from rivals/enemies to being good friends to being more), and other parts i really didnt (the stereotypical squealing yaoi fangirl friend)... & tbh, i kinda wish this had just been a show about the budding friendship between the 2 guys... it almost feels too forced to me that they’re made to ‘fall in love’ when i actually think them both becoming less selfish and learning to respect each other as step brothers & friends is actually already a really great story (& i know that it doesnt fit with the whole ‘HIStory’ thing, but stories of platonic brotherhood/’bromance’ are just as important as gay representation... isnt a /substitute/ for representation, don’t get me wrong, but it’s always so beautiful to see decently portrayed non-toxic friendships between guys... ok this is a rant for another day tho shhh)

i think maybe why i like this one more than the other HIStory1′s is because kinda nothing happens lol... it’s not overly complex with weird unexplained magic things happening, it’s just a simple story lol... is it still tropey as hell? of course lol! but i think the ‘realism’ of the world really helps, and i def think this was incorporated more into HIStory 2, which i’m really glad about...

overall, this is a relatively harmless series & is actually quite sweet at times... the kiss is awkward as fuck tho (there, i said it lol...)... it suffers the same forgetability as right or wrong tho... 

2) Crossing the Line (/Boundary Crossing) (HIStory2) -

ok, so here’s a series i 100% love & totally agree with the hype around lol! i hav no interest in volleyball (or any sports tbh), but the way this show handles the friendships and dynamics between the characters is really well done, especially for a series that’s only 8 episodes long! i also really love that none of the characters really fall into any stereotypes (which is a great improvement from HIStory1 i can tell u lol), and are given the space to actually have some growth & nuance at times?! 

(nuance? in MY HIStory series?? it’s more likely than you think!)

the main couple have really amazing chemistry, and the way they get together doesnt feel too out of place or that it’s going to fast, it just sorta flows really nicely... even the side couple are pretty well done (though i wasnt that big into them on my first watch, just cos the whole overbearing older brother thing was kinda annoying... i liked them more as the series went on tho...)

i kinda dont have any major complaints? which is bizarre cos i always hav complaints about things lol... maybe my complaint would be that they all look way too old and attractive to be whatever teenage age they’re supposed to be lol... (but tbh that doesnt take anything away from the story so i’ll forgive them lol...)... i think maybe i wouldnt consider it my favourite because the story line didnt grab me like the number 1... but i really cant fault it in terms of what it delivers lol, legit such a well put together series!

1) Trapped (HIStory3) -

lol i think anyone who’s been following me for the past few months aren’t in the slightest bit surprised this is my number one... i just love it too much lol!

from the incredibly well written and well acted characters, to the interesting and engaging (even if a bit ridiculous) plot, to the beautifully told romance , it really has it all doesn’t it!!! & i think even if this wasnt an enemies to lovers thing (aka one of the most godtier of all fanfic tropes), there’s so many things going for this series that make it worth watching! i have a few complains about editing choices and a few bad trope plot points which were just unnecessary (plus the fact we missed out on a lot of background info on some major characters lol...), but like despite everything this series rly struck a chord with me deep down in my soul lol

i could go waaay more into detail (and maybe i will one day lol... tho not rn, i’m v tired), but the gist of the matter is: i really love trapped lol

(conclusion)

Even though i’ve complained quite a bit here, i am so grateful for the HIStory series’ for bringing really interesting, and a little mad, stories with gay characters and story lines, with a big emphasis on happy endings! there are so many lgbt stories/characters in things that end up dying or just have bad endings, which just sends this horrible message that lgbt people aren’t worthy of having happy endings, which is completely untrue! 

So i look forward to future HIStory’s, even if some of them are gonna be bad (& maybe none will live up to the trapped!shaped bullet firmly lodged in my heart lol)

fin~