#the way im talking about this sounds way more serious than it actually is lmao

[blasphemousclaw]

i had to straight up stop watching his elden ring videos cuz id just keep stopping like "thats not true. thats been debunked. theres no support for that. thats your conjecture presented as fact" just all the time. not going to invoke a certain eternally youthful lil bug god but the fact vaati keeps deliberately saying certain tree soldiers are mind controlled into blowing themselves up *when their armor description says the exact opposite* just to provide support for a certain bazonk reference was one of the last straws for me.

ALSO HE JUST SAYS RYKARDS A REDHEAD!!!! DO YOU SEE ANY HAIR ON THAT SNAKE VAATI??? CUZ I DONT. what we SHOULD be theorizing about is radahns reaction when morgott pounced on him chimpanzee style when he attacked leyndell

godddd its literally so obnoxious like he just makes assumptions that are either unprovable or provably untrue 😭 either way it’s misinformation… like if you��re making an assumption based on your own conjecture you should be open about what sources of information you’re basing your conjecture on. you can’t just present it like a true statement

“three children were born each with radagon’s red hair” rykard having red hair is an assumption that is not provable. you could point to the gelmir knight helm description (“its red feathers symbolize rykard’s pedigree as lord radagon’s son”) as evidence for why you believe that to be the case and make an argument, but then you also have to account for the fact that he literally does not have red hair in any portrait we have of him. the video this statement is from is presented like a grand cinematic narrative, so of course he goes with the romantic image of radagon and rennala’s three redheaded children complete with art and music and dramatic narration. that doesn’t automatically make it true though

[lightbulb-warning]

i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself

[weebsinstash]

Ok but fuck the people who mentioned abo stuff and omega Miguel to me specifically because I'm over here trying to think of-of- of other ideas that have some meat in them and now I'm just thinking about him becoming absolutely baby crazy in the freaky primal way only omegaverse shit can provide

-normal ass Reader meeting ABO people in the Spider Society and you have no idea what the actual hell any of them are talking about half the time but wouldn't it suck if you still felt some sort of effects from them and affected them too. But. Alpha Miguel obviously 🤌 somehow you make him purr however briefly bc he'd probably get embarrassed and be a dork but you just hear that motor kick in and it's like '👀 oh yall ain't HUMAN human? Idk that's kinda scary but... hot too'. Next thing you know you're finding out about Alphas having knots and you're having inappropriate thoughts about your boss. Also, what if scenting isn't just rubbing necks and such, what if it could be done from smaller touches too, so, suddenly you're sitting there "oh was he scenting me when he touched me on the shoulder" and you may or may not remember how people would often be nervous or avoid you on those days, or be polite but servile, one could day non-threatening, no competition

Alpha Miguel hearing you don't want kids like "I can fix them uwu". One day you realize "oh is he like, courting me" and you're confronted with the terrifying mortality of "holy shit does he want to date/have babies, idk if im ready for something that serious 😳" and also just, him having all these biological advantages over you like he eventually figures out how to tell your emotions by your scent and things like that, you hug the wrong person and suddenly he's in a foul mood and "wanting to speak to them" because their scent transferred onto you

-normal Miguel finding out about an Omega Reader and "no, I'm just studying them for science though--" *suddenly has terabytes of notes about you, your biological aspects, info from your home dimension about Omegas, plenty of personally written 'research notes'* he's just utterly obsessed and fascinated. He learns you're just basically a guaranteed baby machine amd suddenly he's astral projecting himself into another reality, man reads a factoid on how Omega typically have 3 or even more babies and he's sitting there thinking about the two of you with four daughters. Maaaaybe one son but, he loves the idea of all girls, he's just baby crazy for a daughter specifically and he's like "but wait, I could have multiple". But papi, four quinces sounds expensive lmao, lucky he's got that CEO money

-But of course, I'm growing especially fonder of female Alpha Reader and Omega Miguel and like. You're both kind of socially awkward and feel 'out of place', and being atrracted to each other is weird because you both lowkey hate yourselves and aren't sure how you two would work out. What does it mean for you to be an Alpha? Isn't he more dominant than you? Should he... act more submsisive towards you, like, you're both so confused and not sure how to act and also kind of being social recluses. One day you have your whole aha moment where you realize it's kind of a perspective thing and suddenly you cant thinking about him holding a chunky little newborn or having a tea party with his daughters and how, oh wouldn't he be so cute with a baby on his hip

Alpha Reader "I want to see him holding my babies and i wanna love n support him" vs Omega Miguel "I want to cuddle and kiss her while she carries our babies and protect her and love her 🥰" like fjfjff the nuance is THERE

-then there's the juicy idea or "alpha Miguel from a dimension without really any Omegas meeting an Omega Reader for the first time" and he's just kind of head over heels for you (and so is everyone else really). He starts realizing how powerful your "abilities" are when one day you're called into his office to see him throwing things around and shouting about "another hole in the multiverse" and Peter B is like silently begging for you to try and calm him down and you just. Panic and hug him! And you're hugging him and he can get a whiff of your scent and you hit him with the boo boo eyes "It'll be ok, please don't be so stressed 🥺 I'm sure we can figure something out. You're strong, you'll get through this"

Peter B and Jess just like exchanging knowing glances as you get him to settle into a chair and he's still grumbling and irritated but like significantly calmer now and you're just rubbing his shoulders and offering to get him a coffee and giving him a little pep talk amd being very, you know, gentle and nurturing :) totally disarms him and calms him right down, he goes from a red faced screaming mess to purring in a chair as you force idle chit chat about "are you hungry? When did you eat last? Or sleep?" And suddenly he's imagining being at the breakfast table with you and the pups he can easily see you two having together and from then on, Peter B knows to keep you nearby at all times to help calm the big bad Alpha down next time he's about to get an ulcer from stress

[blitzyn]

payback

venti x m!reader

request : none

Synopsis: You thought that stealing the Anemo God's gnosis from him was going to be easy.

second part

a/n -> i accidentally slammed my fingertip against two pieces of wood it hurts so much omg -- but onto the actual fic. this is my first time writing noncon so if anything is inaccurate please let me know. and just a quick warning, i have no idea how to write venti because hes not my favorite character nor do i have him and i prefer writing more serious characters so i made this mainly to challenge myself. do not expect more venti fics in the future. im sorry if this is absolute dogshit lmao. i also dont condone non-con in real life, this is just a work of fiction

wc -> 3.3k

cw -> non-con, forced orgasm, anal sex, public sex, thigh-fucking, fighting, cum and spit as lube, harbinger reader, ooc venti :(, i believe in big dick venti argue with the wall, size difference, reader is taller than him but is the bottom lol, not beta read

Venti mindlessly hummed to himself, leaning his back against the rough wood of the large oak tree that stood proudly in Windrise. He had a relatively long day performing at Angel's Share, but, as much as he loved doing so, he wanted to spend some time by himself.

The tree he laid on was his favorite spot to relax in. The leaves created a comforting rustle within the soft breeze alongside the cheerful birdsong to invent a new symphony he enjoyed. He found that not one was the same, no matter how similar they sounded. It was akin to snowflakes fluttering down the sky during the wintry months; seemingly identical but always different.

It took him a moment or two to realize that the birds suddenly stopped chirping. He sat up curiously to look for them when he felt slightly uneasy. Like he was about to be —

"Woah!" he exclaimed as he jumped off of the tree branch. He was unable to discern what attacked him. The perpetrator was fast. But he was able to figure out that they used Electro as crackles of electricity lingered around the wood for a moment longer.

He was mid-air when they attacked again, sending large hands of the same purple electricity to each side of his body. He quickly created a ball of Anemo large enough for him to step on, jumping off of it just as the hands made contact with each other. They disappeared almost instantly.

He finally landed on his feet, head swiveling this way and that to find his attacker. He tensed and summoned his bow when he finally spotted them leisurely walking along the path to the tree and his statue.

"So you're Barbatos, huh?" you thoughtfully hummed. "I have to say, I'm a little surprised. I expected you to look... less outlandish."

"You say that but your outfit sings of blatant hypocrisy," he studied you. You walked elegantly, as if you had done this countless times before. You were dressed in uniquely formal clothing — like you were attending an important gala.

"Maybe so, but I'm not the god here, now am I?" you said. "I've heard of archons changing their appearances to better fit in with their people as citizens, but yours is quite disappointing."

You looked at his statue then back at him. "The entire city doesn't recognize you despite the painfully obvious signs in front of them. They're just plain stupid."

"Do not talk to my people that way as if yours aren't widely disliked-" he furrowed his brows before adding a title. "-Harbinger."

"If you are referring to the Fatui as 'my people', then you are sorely mistaken," you raised a brow. "I couldn't care less about them."

He sighed. "My apologies. I thought you would've at least found some solace with them since you've been exiled from your last one."

"They did not exile me," you corrected. "I did it on my own accord."

"Really."

You rolled your eyes with an annoyed exhale. "No matter. There is little use in arguing with one such as you."

He watched as dark purple hands covered your eyes. Electro crackled up to your wrists as you swiftly swung your arms together. The same hands from before appeared instantaneously to repeat your movements. They would've crushed him if he was anyone else, but he was able to dodge them just in time.

He quickly retaliated, but found that his regular arrows were unable to penetrate through your electricity. To be able to destroy them in such a way made him realize that you were at least ranked 5th. The sheer power of your Electro was capable of completely disintegrating his arrows and the ground when it made contact — it was obvious what it would've done to someone who didn't have either yours or Venti's fighting prowess.

One hand focused on your defense while the other attacked him with blinding speed.

He began to create his arrows with Anemo, the tips of his fingers glowing his signature teal as he forged them on the spot. Bits of electricity was swirled from your hand as it mixed in with his wind, though it lasted only for a second.

He jumped when the hand swiped at him from the side. He stopped his descent with an orb of Anemo, noticing the slightest hesitation in your movements as he did so. His eyes widened in intrigue. You were fighting him blind.

He jumped on several more platforms before he found himself directly above you, this time creating three arrows at one time. The whistle of the projectiles piercing the air alerted you instantly, your defensive hand shielding your body as the offensive one shot straight at him.

Venti was forced back onto the ground just as the large hole within your hand regenerated. He smiled to himself. Your speed and reaction time alone was a force to be reckoned with. He was going to have to put in a bit of effort, after all.

He drew his bow and ran up to you, ignoring the attacking hand to shoot his arrow at point-blank range. Although the hands covered the majority of your face, you seemed visibly surprised with his action. You quickly recovered to just barely dodge and replace one of your hands with a sword of pure Electro, swinging hard and fast enough to create an arc of electricity that carved a deep line into the ground.

You momentarily paused when a sharp, stinging pain erupted on your face. Your finger gently pressed onto a cut on your cheek, wincing as you realized that most of the pain was intensified by the swirl of Anemo and Electro. You frowned.

You recreated your offensive hand to begin your attacks once again, increasing your speed just the slightest bit. To an outsider, it would seem as if everything was a blur between the two of you. You raised your arms above your head and swung them down, your hands following suit. He used a strong arrow of Anemo to make a hole big enough for him to jump through.

He stood on a platform and recreated his attack from before, only this time, he forged far more arrows than before and shot them at you. As predicted, your defensive hand protected you from most of them before you realized that they were causing numerous holes.

You managed to dodge a few of them, but you were ultimately unable to keep up, forcing you to draw your blade once more. You slashed at the sky, destroying the remaining arrows with yet another arc. You heard a rustling to your right, and your stomach dropped.

You swung your sword as fast as you could, but alas, you were no true match for a god. He shot an arrow through your blade, rendering it completely useless. Before you were able to do anything, he twisted his body to roundhouse kick you.

You gasped for air, losing focus of your hands as they disintegrated. The ones on your face crumbled and revealed your eyes as they were met with Venti's. He had an arrow held up to your neck as he straddled you, pressing a hand on your shoulder to keep you down for good.

"I win," he grinned at your scowling expression.

"Hey!" he dragged the arrow against your skin for a second when you tried to summon the hands again. You kissed your teeth in annoyance.

"You're good, I'll give you that," he said. "But it was never enough to beat me."

"Just kill me already," you rolled your eyes. You seemed very relaxed despite your words.

"Kill you?" he parroted. "I'm not going to kill you."

You were very confused. You had just attacked him out of nowhere and now he's willing to spare you?

"But I'm not going to let you free without compensation."

"What are you going to do, then?" you questioned, warily watching as he slid down your body a bit to rest on your crotch.

Oh.

"I think you know."

Discomfort settled in your chest. "But first, I want to know something. Why did you attack me?"

"Why do you think a Harbinger would willingly fight a god?" you answered his question with one of your own. But he wanted to hear you say it.

"I dunno. There could be a multitude of reasons."

Your eyebrows furrowed. "I need your Gnosis."

He tilted his head. "Why do you need my Gnosis?"

"I do not question Her Majesty's requests."

"So... you don't know?"

You didn't answer him this time. But he didn't need your words now that he knows why you're here.

With a hum, he adjusted himself to kneel beside you as his fingers dipped below the waistband of your pants. He pulled them off and tossed them to the side, your underwear following close behind. He gazed at your bare legs as he undid his corset and tugged his shorts off.

You refused to see his dick, but the quiet, wet noises he emitted told you that he must have spat on it. His hands moved your thighs so they squeezed together as he began to push his dick between them. He sighed in content, relishing in the pleasurable sensation your plush flesh offered him.

He began with a steady pace that increased in speed after every thrust of his hips. You were quiet in discomfort, letting him do as he pleased if it meant you would leave faster. Besides, you still had a chance to take his Gnosis — all you had to do was not fuck it up.

You could feel the front of his thighs pressing against your ass as his cock rubbed against you. It was slimy with his saliva and warm and you absolutely hated it. It took a lot to keep yourself from outwardly cringing, but it seemed as if your efforts were for naught as he quickly noticed your disgust.

"What? Can't a Harbinger handle this?" he teased, slightly leaning over your knees.

"Not with perverts like you."

"Oh, woe is me!" he exclaimed. "But you must fulfill your end of the bargain. I do hope you understand."

"Bargain? What bargain?!" you shouted, accidentally tensing your thighs - much to his pleasure. He let out a moan-mixed giggle, forcing you to relax again

His face was flushed red as his cock hardened. You gently jolted up and down as his thrusts increased in fervor, your skin slick with saliva and pre-cum. His noises grew louder as he inched closer and closer to his orgasm, nails digging into your flesh.

He tossed his head back and moaned shamelessly as his cum spurted across your stomach. He fucked your thighs for a few moments longer before he let go of them, sighing contentedly.

You released a quiet scoff and sat up.

"We're not done, yet," Venti forced you back down, scooping his cum off the fabric of your shirt before most of it seeped through. He jerked himself off for a brief second before prying your legs open.

You looked at him in concern, eyes drifting downwards. You tried to close your legs at the size of his cock. He was big. Bigger than you thought for someone of his short stature.

You flinched when he spat a thick glob of saliva on your hole.

"Wait—wait. I can give you Mora instead." you attempted to entice him with a suggestion.

"Tempting offer," he didn't seem interested.

"Then what do you want?"

He looked up. "Why are you so nervous? Surely, you're not a virgin, are you?"

You chewed on the inside of your cheek. "No."

"Really? You sure are acting like one."

"I just haven't done... this..." you trailed off.

"I suppose it's to be expected," he hummed. "A Harbinger like you doesn't seem like the type to be on the bottom."

You swallowed hard.

"But don't worry. I'll make this memorable."

He used a hand to guide his cock to your entrance, forcing his way inside with a groan. You tensed, attempting to bite down your pained cry by gritting your teeth. You tried to kick him away, but he simply took hold of your ankle and pushed your leg to your chest.

It felt like he was splitting you apart with each agonizing inch. He intently stared at you, watching your face as it morphed from nervousness to fear then to distressed and pained. You struggled to free your legs from his grasp, but your efforts were futile as he tightened his grip enough to numb the spots he held.

You tried to use your Vision, your wrists crackling with electricity. Venti quickly reacted and shoved the rest of his dick inside you. You cried out, losing focus of your power. A burning sensation emanated from your hole that was given little time to settle as the god began to thrust.

He set a fervent pace, uncaring of your agonized grunts and whimpers. The pain was dizzying. It mixed in with the strain he placed on your leg to push it close to your torso. The slight fold of your body put enough pressure on your chest to limit some of your breathing, which was an increasing worry since he fucked you hard enough to force the air out of your lungs.

Despite his small body, he was capable of easily towering over you. As the burn finally faded away, you were able to recognize shocks of anger coursing through your body at the sight of his cerise-tinted cheeks and small smile. His mouth was slightly ajar to release moans and pleasured sighs, and you longed to shove your sword down his throat.

Your anger was amplified as the tip of his cock began to press up against your prostate, the undertones of shame ever present. You bit your lip hard enough to draw blood in order to conceal your noises, but your slowly hardening cock relayed more than enough information to him.

His turquoise eyes squinted as his smile grew.

"Look at you," he placed a leg on his shoulder. "You're — ah — enjoying this."

"No I'm n–not." Your breathy voice was a complete contrast to your words.

"There's no point in resisting it any longer," he wrapped a hand around your cock to begin stroking it. He fanned the flame of ecstasy within your abdomen, spreading the heat throughout your body. The sudden tighten of your hole had Venti faltering, his hips jolting forward arrhythmically as he came with a loud moan.

You could feel his cock throbbing, prompting you to start uncomfortably squirming in place. Well, as much as you could. The two of you sat in silence until he let go of your ankle and leaned forward to tuck a hand underneath your back to move you close to him. In a swift movement, he lifted you both up from the floor.

Surprised, you wrapped your legs around his waist as he walked towards his statue. You only realized he took you there when the cold stone permeated through your shirt, looking up instinctively. You grit your teeth. Was he provoking you? Rubbing in the fact that you lost your battle?

Your eyes were met with his cheeky grin, which slowly washed away into something more focused as he started to thrust again. You were a bit surprised, but you suppose you shouldn't underestimate a god's stamina. Even then, over-sensitivity should begin to settle in, now. This could be your chance.

He kept up the fervent pace from before, though this time, the new angle allowed him to brush up against your prostate with better accuracy. You knew he wasn't trying to make you feel good, so you muffled your noises with your hand in fruitless resistance.

Skin slapping and Venti's shameless moans echoed throughout the vast plains. You felt almost unbearably hot with the closeness of your bodies and you began to wish you were granted a Cryo Vision to cool yourself off. But he wouldn't allow the use of anything, so you guess it wouldn't make much of a difference either way.

You let out a startled yelp when his hand wrapped around your throbbing cock, jerking you off in time with his thrusts. A sensation akin to electricity ran up and down your spine. You noticed that he began to whimper a lot more frequently, and with the way he slowly lost the rhythm in his thrusts, you knew he was close again.

And you were too — as much as you hated to admit it. You could feel the heat in your stomach amplify with each passing second.

"You're so tight," his voice sounded a bit strained. "You're about to — ah — cum, aren't you?"

"You're," you paused with a quiet curse. "delusional."

"Don't lie to yourself," is all he said before he sped up his hand, forcing ragged pants and soft moans you couldn't hide behind your palm. As if taken over by the haze of lust, you buried your face within his hat, tightened your legs around his waist, and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

With nothing to conceal your moans, they mixed in with Venti's in an erotic symphony. You tensed and arched your back as the pool of arousal in your abdomen amplified until it completely washed over you. Your cock spurted cum over both of you as he continued to jerk you off until he was satisfied.

Luckily, it didn't take too long for him to finally orgasm for the third time. A bit of his cum spilled out of your hole despite his dick still inside you.

His eyes were tightly shut, overcome with bliss and ecstasy. You were able to recognize the opportunity he accidentally gave you. Ignoring the slight burn he forced on your dick as he continued to stroke you, you reeled your free arm back as much as you could before jabbing it straight in his chest.

There was a bright teal light that shone where you plunged your hand. Everything felt airy — and a little strange — until you managed to find something solid. Quickly grabbing it, you removed your hand. Weakened, he was unable to hold the both of you up.

You forced your legs down as soon as you felt his grip on you falter, watching him fall to the ground. He was visibly surprised as he stared at you with wide eyes full of disbelief and a bit of anger.

Not wasting any more time, you enveloped yourself with electricity, retrieved your missing clothes, and left.

—•—

You sighed in exhaustion after finally finding a safe place to rest. Leaning against a large tree, you put your underwear and pants back on. You grimaced hard as more of his cum began to leak out of your hole, skin crawling in disgust. But you would need to endure it until you found a suitable body of water or got back to Snezhnaya. Out of both of them, you preferred the former.

You looked at the god's Gnosis in wonder. It was small and you turned it around to fully examine it. It was mainly teal but had silver designs and what seemed to be a crown. It reminded you of a chess piece.

Sighing yet again, you tucked it in a pocket and began making your way to the spot that was going to transport you back to Snezhnaya.

Despite knowing there was nobody to watch you and Venti, there was an anchor of shame weighing in your chest. No matter. You just need to make sure nobody knew of what had transpired in Windrise.

Besides, you would gladly shave off bits of your dignity and pride if it meant pleasing Her Majesty. Especially after she had taken you in many years ago.

Trying to will away the shame, you repeated a phrase in your mind.

Anything for the Tsaritsa.

cross-posted on ao3

[gyubasevin]

kim jiwoong nsfw a-z

pairing; reader x jiwoong, i tried to keep everything as gender neutral as i could think <3

rating; 18+!!! minors dni i will hunt u down and block u so hard

genre; smut, maybe a little fluff???

notes; not really proofread, also might make this a series for zb1 legal line?? idk the jiwoong brain rot is real bad for me rn so here i am. (ha get it) also sorry if my grammar or wtv is horrendous im not the smartest im just here to entertain LMAO

a = aftercare: what are they like after sex?

100% showering you in love after sex, jiwoong would refuse to leave your side until he was positive you were okay after talking to you to calm you down. even when he finally did leave it was only to go run the two of you a bath and get something to clean the both of you up.

b = body part: their favorite body part on their body and their s/o?

on him he loves his voice, he always knows exactly what to say and how to say it, its a h u g e flex of his and it takes every bone in his body to not let everyone know just how turned on he can get you from talking alone.

on you he loves your collarbone/neck area?? one of his favorite ways to pass time is running his lips along your skin, loving these places so much bc of how sensitive they are on you.

c = cum: anything to do with cum

most ppl would assume he loves seeing you covered in his cum most and while he does, there's nothing more he loves than HIMSELF actually being covered in YOUR cum. he adores the physical evidence of how good he makes you feel, whether that's you giving him a facial or creaming all over his cock he loves it more than he could ever say.

d = dirty secret: what’s a dirty secret that they have?

he secretly has a thing for spit i think, he often imagines spitting in your mouth or how much he loves the way you drool when taking him in your mouth, adoring the fucked out look on your face that comes with it, he thinks its so cute.

e = experience: how experienced are they?

he is definitely not inexperienced, i imagine he has only done anything with his close lovers and not being really one for hooking up at all. he might just be okay at first but once he gets to know your body, you will wish he hadn't. ;)

f = favorite position: what’s their favorite position?

100% missionary, he loves being bent over top of you with his face in your neck, listening to how perfect you sound in his ear. ofc knowing how crazy it drives him all you can manage to moan out are the sweetest praises for him, how he's the only one who can make you feel so good, how he stretches you out so perfectly, like his cock was made just for you. its your favorite too, so obsessed with him everything down to the way his sweat drips down on your skin drives you insane, your senses being overwhelmed by just him. (i know im down bad.)

g = goofy: are they humorous in the moment?

it can start out a bit goofy at times, but i think once actually getting into it jiwoong isn't ever really goofy unless trying something new you're worried about he might act less serious so you know its still just him, for the most part though no.

h = hair: are they well kept down there?

he keeps things trimmed and tidy but not completely bald

i = intimacy: what are they like during the moment, romance wise?

jiwoong is the s w e e t e s t during sex, making you feel good makes him feel good and he mostly there for you pleasure rather than his own. he sees sex as a very intimate thing and he loves just being there in the moment just the two of you, never letting you forget just how much he loves you.

j = jack off: how do they masturbate?

i don't see him masturbating too often, only if for some reason the two of you can't see each other for awhile. otherwise he figures why do it himself when he has a perfectly good partner who's more than willing to help him out!!!

k = kink: do they have any kinks?

praise kink - both giving and receiving praise can make him cum in seconds flat pleasepleaseplease praise him

voyeurism - he doesn't like to share but sometimes when he is alone he gets off to the thought of someone else watching just how well he destroys you, OR the idea of making you watch him touch himself, squirming in your seat cause you want to touch him so badly :(

l - location: where do they like to do it?

jiwoong is a simple man, he enjoys doing it in the bed 99.9% of the time, although he does like to do it in the shower sometimes if he's really feeling frisky.

m = motivation: what gets them turned on?

i imagine jiwoong gets turned on s o easily, if you even give him a certain look he is suddenly all bricked up and he can't keep his hands off of you, he's not shy to let you know when he needs a hand. his #1 turn on is when you crawl to straddle his lap, he loves when you take control even if its only a little bit.

n = no: what would they say no to?

definitely not into any bodily fluids other than cum from either of you, spit is good but that's about it. he also isn't into anything that would hurt you too bad even if you ask for it he would just kiss your lips and sweetly suggest something less intense i think

o = oral: how are they when it comes to oral sex?

he is definitely not bad with his mouth, but for sure more skilled in the hand department. his head alone is good ofc, but he knows how to work you just right with his fingers and mouth combined he will have you finishing on his tongue in minutes if that.

p = pace: are they slow and sensual or fast and rough?

he is a good middle ground tbh, its not TOO slow but its sensual and slow enough that you can both enjoy the intimacy of the moment rather than fucking into you like a wild animal (which he could also do if you beg him nice enough!!!)

q = quickie: what do they think about quickies?

not super into quickies, would rather just tease you all day long and make you wait until you get home since he knew he himself is fine until then. that way he can really take his time with you and on top of that he gets to listen to you beg for him alllll day long, its a win win for him.

r = risk: are they willing to go the extra mile?

the only big risk jiwoong is willing to take is being caught, like he loves to fuck you in the dorms right when he knows other members are on their way back or something but when it comes to pain for either one of you he is VERY hesitant, he sees sex as a way to feel good so he is more into praise and body worship, things like that.

s = stamina: how long do they last? how many rounds can they go?

jiwoong is the type to make himself last a loooong time and make you personally finish multiple times, rather than go multiple rounds he prefers to tire you out then finish :)

t = toys: do they own any toys? do they use it on themselves or their s/o?

he probably has a wand vibrator for you whenever he REALLY wants to tease you but he doesn't use it super super often, then FOR SURE like a pocket pussy of some kind for when he's alone, he l o v e s to send you videos of him using it when you're apart for awhile just to really mess with you.

u = unfair: do they like to tease?

tease is practically his middle name, he hardly will touch you unless you're already begging him first.

v = volume: how loud are they? what sounds do they make?

hes not afraid to make noise at all but really he is just a groaner, especially when he cums he loves to cover you in kisses and groan in your ear, unless you flip roles for the night and its you fucking and teasing him ohohoh he will whimper for you until the sun starts to rise.

w = wild card: a random headcanon for the character

tbh im too lazy to do this one rn... when i find some kind of motivation ill just post a one shot or something I GOT U!!!!!

x = x-ray: what’s going on under that clothing?

jiwoong is just average length and girth i feel like, 100% circumcised also you cannot convince me otherwise.

y = yearning: how high is their sex drive?

veeeery high, he could easily fuck every single day if you wanted to, he doesn't initiate it very much because if he did then it would probably just be overwhelming for you.

z = zzz: how fast do they fall asleep after?

he makes sure you are well taken care of before he falls asleep, so normally he will be up for at least half an hour afterwards, sometimes more if you just had an intense session.

[lindszeppelin]

I am the anon who sent you the long message, I am also a dude , Im of a rare breed in the fanbase , dont seem like there is alot of us here and thats ok lol I have sent you something before actually about how when men know we know. And I will say that over and over again. Seems like alot of the anons you get seem to be from people who are losing faith in that and think whatever Miss Gerber has with Austin is real. A man knows when he found his wife, not to get all preachy and sound like a religious crazy person but there is legit a whole bible verse in the book of Proverbs about it. I am 31, still young but old enough to know , especially as a married man myself when a guy has found his wife, he isnt hiding that shit. When i proposed to my wife we were on vacation and I legit facetimed my friends when she was in the shower and told them the news, up there squealing like a woman excited as hell LMAO. Austin is someone who wears his heart on his sleeve, if he saw that life with Kaia we would know it will show. So all that privacy BS is exactly that.....BS....like he dodges questions about her all the time and Kaia does the same, i personally have never seen celebs go that far to do that, even the ones who wanna be private. They still talk about each other. I think these shippers as I stated see themselves in Kaia,so when things are said about their relationship and lacking chemistry they take it as you saying about them and Austin...anyways I will stop ranting here but i wanted this to known and to give your blog a guy perspective

aaah welcome back in! nice to have you here. the fandom truly needs bit more guys in the fandom to balance out lol. and i think there are, but us women are a lot more vocal about it i'd say lol. and to each their own, it's so cool to have you here.

but i thank you once again for brining in the much needed male perspective on this situation. and coming from a man that is married and is Austin's age, that seriously should be everything that we need to heed your words.

i think a lot this discourse stems from the fact that the super young girls in this fandom closer to kaia's age clearly are showing that they haven't been in a serious relationship, or they don't have a lot of life experience. because a man should love his woman entirely and not be afraid to show it or talk about it. if a man hides his girl in any way then he's not happy with her. austin moves with kaia like a man that is not taking her serious. plus he knows she is too young for anything serious anyway. and when a guy TRULY thinks he has found his future wife, he won't waste time. i know this from personal family and friend experiences. i come from a parental background where my mom and dad got engaged after only 6 months of dating and they are still together 30+ years later. i know someone else where after only a week their man proposed and they are still together. like...it is what it is. a man can be just as emotional, clingy, and lovey-dovey to his woman than the woman is to him. ladies reading...if your guy doesn't act like the sun doesn't rise and set with you then he is not the one and he won't ever be. and that's okay. go find yourself a person that leaves no question as to their feelings for you. if you have to guess or question then, as the famous movie goes, he's just not that into you.

and you mentioned a verse in proverbs. i'm not necessarily a religious fanatic, however i am spiritual and i won't turn my nose up at acknowledging that stuff. . so if you would like to share the verse then go for it.

but once again, thank you so much for your insightful input!!

[taegimood]

(edit: pls send me requests omg give me something legit to write about 💀🙏🏼 help)

ok literally no one asked for this but i’ve been asking my moots these questions, so i figured i might as well answer them myself too lol

which member's type do you think you'd be?

which member is closest to your type (bias or not)?

which member do you think you'd be closest with platonically?

which member do you think you'd be the least close with?

1: i think i’d be closest to yeonjun’s type, at least visually.. my primary fashion is grungy street style so i think we have a lot in common style-wise and would vibe hard tbh :3 (but personality-wise..? idk i haven’t thought that far ahead lmao what do you guys think?? would any of them like me o_o)

2: oh man.. this is hard cuz visually i don’t really have one set type, i’m attracted to several different vibes.. but yeonjun cuz of the fashion and fox features, and soobin because ??? look at him ?? kdrama first love coded, periodt. (but they’re all so stunning that if i saw any of them on the street without knowing who they were i’d definitely want their numbers and also their [redacted])

personality-wise… RAHHHH why are these questions so hard i literally suck at making decisions- i’m the one that made these questions too ffs- ok sometimes yeonjun makes me want to shove my hand into his face and PUSH (lovingly. respectfully.) because he’s so Frat Bro Coded sometimes LMAOO 😭 so i think soobin or beomgyu. gyu is INSANE but i think we’d have so much fun together and he can be soft and serious when the time calls for it. i rlly want someone i can be goofy as hell with and gyu def fits the bill. and soobin……. oh, my sweet soobin……. dream man…. he’s so 💖💕💝💘💗 ……. (not me clowning matcha for being biased for gyu in her response while soobin is living rent free in every single one of my answers 🤡) soobin is the Actual Love Of My Life™ and i think we could fit well together in so many ways but 3 things that DEPRESSINGLY make me wonder if we’d work:

i’m also an introvert so i need someone more extroverted than i am to get me out of my shell 😖 biggest one is he said he doesn’t lead in the relationship and lets the girl make all the decisions (i prefer a guy who leads and wants to make decisions together) and he loves physical touch but only when he’s the one giving it 🤨 IM SUCH A TOUCHY CLINGY BITCH SOOBIN PLS LET ME HOLD YOU-

3: this post is so fckn long for no reason why am i such a verbal processor this one is ALSO hard cuz not to sound like a pick-me but i feel like i could be pretty good friends w any of them?? 😭 maybe gyu ??? i’m an introvert so he definitely might get too overwhelming for me at times but i also become a crackhead when i’m with friends i can be myself with who share my humor, so i think when i’m in the right headspace gyu and i could just go crazy together and be goofy asf lol. we could also game together and i could run him into the ground in victory 🫶🏼

but ok yeonjun and i would be such bros together plus he knows what it’s like to live in america so there’s that and fashion to bond over… i could be total gym buddies with taehyun and we’d bounce that dry humor off of each other… just like soobin and kai, i’m a huge anime and video game nerd (could do show and tell w kai and all our plushies too 🫶🏼) so i could game and binge anime for hours and be totally content especially if i’m bonding over it w someone else o_o SOOOOO i feel like i could be friends with all of them but as for besties? not me wanting to pick soobin again i don’t know 😀

minji do you literally know anything

4: honestly i think taehyun :((( i just think i have the least amount of things in common with him, that’s all !!! no other reason i still love him sm although i’m also a singer actually (fun fact) so i think we could do such pretty covers together 🥺

anyway this is LONG AS ALL HELL for literally no reason other than the fact that i talk too much lmao so here are the answers that no one asked for 😍

[vettelcore]

partly happy and very relieved that I don't have to worry about him anymore but also it's just like. i don't understand why he's pushing me away like this but still asking me to be around, i highly highly doubt even he knows tbh

he says he doesn't want to hurt me or make me angry by asking to be alone for a while, and I'm not angry about that, i completely understand it and I'm more than fine giving him that space if he needs it because his whole life is close to being turned upside down for the worse and i get why he's overwhelmed and doesn't have the time to worry about me and not hurting me for being distant

what makes me so fucking angry and truly hurt me is the whole "i don't know if i want to call you my girlfriend" after half a fucking year of exclusive dating and acting like a normal fucking couple and trusting me with things you really wouldn't tell someone who you can't see yourself being around for a long time

it's funny because this is exactly what i was afraid of in the beginning, i remember a conversation we had before we started dating and he was telling me about his love life and how he had never dated anyone for longer than a couple of months, so i asked him "how come?? are you afraid of commitment lol" and he was like noooo i just don't think I've clicked with anyone enough for that

in my mind i was like yeah lmao if we ever start dating he's so gonna be the guy who leads me on for months, just to tell me "actually i can't have a serious relationship now lol sorry hope you're not mad" when i start suggesting that perhaps it's time i meet your mum bc it's the only way we can see each other more often

and if anyone is reading this you're probably wondering so why the fuck did you ignore your intuition and kept going out with him? fair enough very good question idk because im a fucking retard and because we clicked in so well, so easily and so fast that i truly thought it'd be different

i never felt like this with anyone, it always takes me so long to get comfortable around people and not get anxiety when they talk to me or ask me to hang out, and the fact that i never had that feeling around him... that always put any doubts i had about dating him at bay

"yeah you're right everything was perfect between us and we completely understand each other, have a lot fun together and had so much chemistry everyone around us joked about us getting together before we even had a proper conversation but hmmmm yeah idk girlfriend is a scary word tho"

it literally just sounds like you want the liberty to go out and fuck whoever you want without having to worry about that person in the slightest, and that you never cared that much about me even though you really, really didn't act like it

and im saying all of this but another part of me thinks that it'll get better, when things settle down and he doesn't have to worry about what the fuck is gonna happen to him and where he's gonna live after his mother dies, he'll text me and ask to get together again, because things were going so well before his mum got sick again that he's probably just acting like this now bc he can't think clearly and everything is overwhelming him

maybe im an idiot for telling him i can't bring myself to drop him fully, because i really wouldn't be comfortable with myself if i did it knowing what he's going through, I'd feel like a horrible person, i care(d?) too much about him to do that, even if he says he just wants to isolate from everyone and be on his own, that's not healthy, i understand why he wants that, but it's the worst he can do ffs

tldr: don't date manchildren and trust your intuition, you're gonna be right 99,9% of the times

[nickiemoot]

doesnt susies japanese bio say she's eliminating savages.

okay. first of all, before i start rambling, if this is referring to the "susie has never done anything wrong" post, that was clearly a joke. obviously she's done bad shit. she's a flawed character. she falls under the "redeemed villain" category like many kirby characters. don't get me started on the importance of a nuanced approach with flawed characters and the overall unfair treatment of female characters. if this isn't what you were going for, i apologize. you happened to stumble on a thing i have Opinions about lmao.

anyway. i don't speak japanese and i have to solely rely on other people's translations. so this is a lot of speculation on my part.

i think you're referring to the quote from star allies. i had to go to the wiki to find it, here's a copy and paste:

Her Dream Friend description states that she intends to bring back the company her father built. In the Japanese version, direct quotes from her are given: 「科学の力で 家族だんらん、幸せな くらしを ごていきょう…」("Through the power of science, I offer family harmony and a happy life...") and 「そんな理念の もと、ヤバンなヤツは くじょ、いたしますわ！」 ("I will exterminate the uncivilized!")

now i have no idea what the subtle connotations of the word that was translated to "uncivilized" is. i don't know japanese. i know that the word you used, "savages", has really serious connotations in english because of actual real life history. the haltmann company is definitely meant to be more or less "destructive western capitalism" in theme. but does this word in japanese mean the same thing as the highly specific and deeply racist english word? i don't know. the wiki translated it as "uncivilized". does that make a difference? i don't know.

here's my take: she is a person who was raised to believe she was superior to everyone. her father is rich and powerful and her people are very technologically advanced. she was probably spoiled as a child. her time in AD was no doubt very shocking and traumatizing, and when she came back there was no happy reunion because her father didn't recognize her. her response was... not healthy! she focused on revenge and didn't question shit! not until the star dream incident did she actually start questioning what she believed, how she viewed the world, the consequences of her actions, etc. obviously she wasn't immediately fixed and is now flawless! she has so much baggage to unpack! unlearning things is really hard, and unlearning whole worldviews taught to you since childhood is extremely difficult. this is a real thing, it's possible to unlearn prejudice irl but it's a long process that takes constant conscious effort. but i think she is trying.

plus, i highly suspect that the way that quote is written is meant to convey her way of speaking. "exterminate the uncivilized" is susie-speak for "defeat the enemies". the word "exterminate" is just scifi talk meant to make her sound robotic. and sure, the way she considers anyone not on her side as uncivilized is. problematic. but again, she's unlearning a lifetime of bias. if anything, it would bother me immensely if she was suddenly redeemed and perfect with no lasting effects! that doesn't happen!

anyway, im not gonna get into it because that's a whole 'nother goddamn essay i could write, but consider: kirby is full of redeemed villain characters including ones who are not really good guys at all (marx, dark meta knight, hell even taranza and magolor are questionable) AND YET the only one who gets judged like this is susie, the female ex-villain. female characters are always scrutinized more than male characters in the same fandom. why is that? think about it.

[autocann1bal]

part four of my playlist analysis!!

part 1 &lt;- part 2 &lt;- part 3 <- back into the soup we dive

somewhere only we know - keane lockwood takes them to a special spot and they have a nice picnic on a hill and cuddle on a picnic blanket <3 we're ignoring how sad the song actually is <33.

brooklyn baby - lana del rey oh please lockwood is so brooklyn baby by lana del rey you cant tell me hes not hes a posh little london boy and lucy's a girl who grew up in a rural town in the north theyre so brooklyn baby.

sunsetz - cigarettes after sex we're ignoring the sexual aspect of this song entirely <3 anyway theyre wandering around a park just before the sunset, just being silly and cute <333. like real people do - hozier look i know we've had plenty of locklyle sleepy morning and sleepy nights but this one is DIFFERENT OK. they wake up in lockwoods bed after a rough night of panic attacks from both of them, they fell asleep in eachothers arms. lucy tries to get up without disturbing him and he, still asleep, holds her tighter and kisses her forehead. she stays till he wakes up and they kiss <333 domesticity my beloved. its called: freefall - rainbow kitten surprise george and lucy talking methinks. it just feels like a serious conversation between them. my kind of woman - mac demarco lockwood just heart-eyes-ing at lucy while she files papers in the basement or smth idk just lockwood pathetic simp mode, as usual <33. i was all over her - salvia palth lmao lockwood hopeless simp time but sad edition. the way he looks at her, like shes all hes ever wanted, all he ever will want, but the knowledge that she may never be his. this gets even worse after she starts helping him with his panic attacks, he feels like hes using her. francis forever - mitski lockwood, alone in his room, every night after lucy left. he cant get her out of his head and hes to afraid to ask george for help, for fear george will tell him to suck it up and move on (which of course would never happen). those where some rough nights for lockwood. the beer - kimya dawson lucy breakdown song (real) (not clickbait) (im definitely not writing this instead of my essay waht are you talking about) i want you - mitski lucy, longing for lockwood more than anything, but shes so deathly afraid that holly is replacing her. diet mountain dew - lana del rey ok it doesnt. really fit their dynamic i dont think but it just sounds so right ykwim? good looking - suki waterhouse hes her good looking boy!!! this song is so them just read the lyrics <33. 4 morant - doja cat erm. uhm. haha. i mean. yea. erm. so. hee hee. lockwood vibes. harness your hopes - b-side - pavement that whole 'hold me just like the morning paper' line is so simp-y lockwood <3333. dirty night clowns - chris garneau different. vibe from the last song uhhh. do i have to explain. move me - half.alive THEY ARE SO HALF.ALIVE I CANT EXPLAIN IT ITS JUST THEM. i mean the literal first line of this song is 'i never told, you never asked' which is quite literally them in episode 6 so. i wanna be yours - arctic monkeys just lockwood being a simp again and who can blame him lucy is so <333. britrock - mccafferty uh oh more mccafferty time. this song is just so lucy i dont know why it just is im sorry. im not sorry. after dark - mr. kitty sad vibes. theyre both in the dark just lying together in lockwoods bed. not even talking just together. thinking. ill call you mine - girl in red do i have a personal vendetta against this song?? yes. will it stop me from using it for Them TM?? absolutely not. cute domestic roadtrip vibes fight me. i want to be with you - chloe moriondo this one is self explanatory. bedroom ghost - flower face oops different vibe. lucy shower breakdown? no, lockwood shower breakdown :sunglasses:. privately owned spiral galaxy - crywank (specifically the lovejoy cover tho) mmm lockwood thinking alone in his room song methinks. christ alright, part 5 ig im so sorry this is so long i feel so bad dfhgfkjg

[m1ckeyb3rry]

No because I thought his LN was on crack or something especially when he had like his osha awakening moment like they fully wrote out all the details of him posing with the galaxy in the background surrounded by all the planets and the literal LETTERS floating above his head like???? Yeah I mean if I were an Aryu stan I would’ve taken more time to read but I also couldn’t get past the fact that he was so appalled by his lack of musical talent that he fr was sick in bed for three days BRO it was so goofy it kinda makes me wonder what he would’ve been like if he hadn’t been bullied though :(

I- THERES NO WAY??? THE GRIND IS TOO INTENSE OMG???? Glad you’re alive now though oh god allergies really suck

And no seriously like people think that writing is the only thing you’ll have going on like sorry bro your fav writes have lives?? Also considering the length of your fics generally you’d think they’d realize that it’s kinda insane for you to update so quickly??? And I’m ngl I was really impressed that you were churning out so many pieces in such a short period of time especially since they were all at the very least 6k or something like….

IM SO EXCITED ugh baby Karasu truly is too cute the epinagi panels make me wanna just squish his cheeks!!! But I have full faith in you your different fic verses always keep it unique even if some things might be similar (like fwtkac and freaky Friday) like I remember you saying they had some similar aspects too but they didn’t feel repetitive in the slightest so!!

Vibe checking is so real like I’m not about to make people think that I’m like THOSE anime enjoyers yk….its okay we’ve got you o7 bllk chatter sessions ftw>>>

Freak loser Rin confirmed guys….yeah I did feel a bit bad for Sae LMAO but erm yeah what an interesting kid Rin was…..The fact that they don’t have eyes sent me I saw someone post somewhere saying that Rin and Sae must be adopted because they have long lashes but their parents don’t even have eyes LMFAOOOO

PLEASE KANESHIRO GET KARASU AND YUKIMIYA IN THERE!!! Honestly I’m lowk conflicted about post nel arc on one hand I’m really excited because I wanna see everyone together again but on the other hand I’m like…how much more of bllk do we still have…..I need my content!! Dw we add the slice of life filler episode into the manifestation circle…it will happen! Wait I’m also kinda curious about how the nel offers work? I’ve seen people all over talking about how after this they’ll like split and go to their respective countries from which they selected in nel to go join clubs and whatnot and I’m like uhhh that doesn’t sound like getting the gang back together!!!!

BAROUU>> I hope more people stop with the red flag Barou trend now because this man is such green flag material….okay and um maybe we actually just have prophetic abilities I was being so unserious when I said that LMAOOOO soooo trust slice of life episode tabieitaken comeback soon!!!

-Karasu anon

HELP the way they described the letters and everything omg i was cackling…it felt like they were trying to give a serious backstory to a very unserious character which gave it a general cracky vibe 😭 and the lack of musical talent causing him to throw up was unreal like what even

HAHAHA the grind is always with me fr 😈🙏🏻 this was a while ago like circa 2021 so it’s been a bit 😫 unfortunately i do have a peanut allergy it’s like my debuff 😢

THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYINGGG bro i had written over a 100k words for that fic in like a month that’s legitimately longer than most published novels 😭 i feel like when i’m inspired i’m a very prolific writer (eg i’ve written probably close to 150k words for bllk since may??) but the downside is if i’m not into smth you’re not getting anything out of me for it

OKAY YAY i’m glad it doesn’t come off across as too similar…i do think part of it stems from me just being the one writing it so i notice even the smallest similarities even though they wouldn’t really bother a reader necessarily?? at least i hope they wouldn’t 😓 and yessss squishy cheeks baby karasu that’s exactly the vibe he’s supposed to have he’s such a cutie i want to eat him

fr i need to differentiate myself…like yes i watch anime and write fanfiction and am a LITTLE not normal abt certain characters but i still shower and have friends/hobbies and touch grass 😔

HELP omg idk what the deal w the itoshi parents being so mysterious is…like is it meant to represent how sae was the only family rin cared abt?? because that’s lowkey crazy if that’s the case 😭 freak loser rin we’ve known it from the start 😩 need the world to get on our wavelength

ooh it might be how it is irl where like players play for their respective clubs but then for the world cup they come back and represent their national teams!! so we’ll have an arc or so of them learning how to play pro football, introducing more players so that the stakes for u20 wc are higher (because there’ll be established dynamics with other international players) and then everyone gets back together to play for japan in the wc

YES FREE BAROU FROM THE RED FLAG ALLEGATIONS PRONTO HE IS TRULY THE OPPOSITE!! and FRR we are bllk oracles or smth…seeing karasu yukimiya and kunigami relevance in the future of pxg vs bm 🧿🕯️

[heartfelttry]

this is the excerpt i mentioned in My Thepandaredd's OC Notes about my hc of Bill The Professional Henchman's surname being "Bail" and my OC (Kaycie Harjo, they/them, who eventually works as an apprentice to Alfred Pennyworth since he is already p fucking elderly and you cannot convince me he is the only staff-person in the manor) ragging on him about how fake of surname that sounds like

this is not the finished form of the scene. it is just me having written down this scene a few weeks ago (out of fear my chronic memory loss would eat it) and am now just gonna copy-paste it. this is a first rough-draft. excuse any/all mispellings, im dyslexic and, to the best of my memory-loss-riddled recollection, i do not think this isn't edited in the slightest

optional context for scene:

Bill betrayed Kaycie's trust, hurt their feelings, that kind of thing (no spoilers). he finally got them to come see him at a Big Belly Burger, his suggestion of "neutral territory". he came early, bought them food. Kaycie stormed in, sat down with crossed arms, refused his food, and went all "Talk." / "...That's ruder than a Pinkie Pie like you usually gets." / "You said you wanted to talk, Bill, so fucking talk." and this is Bill's big apology gesture of good faith bc he misses his friend to get back on their good side: letting Kaycie know his fucking surname (so stupid lmao)

also, they became best friends over quite a bit of time, it's not a speedy affair. i'm torn on one of two possible ways they became friends (and then best friends). doesn't matter for the following out-of-context scene; i just wanted it known i do have plans. also, i feel compelled to mention that i do see Bill as older than Kaycie by quite some years. picture "Ted Lasso"'s Keely and Rebecca kind of age-gap friendship ("intergenerational" is the better term than "age-gap", probably, but it isn't as funny to me lol). but maybe i'll change that (i definitely will if Bill is supposed to be closer to the older Bat-kids age, like Kaycie is. i currently see Bill as at least 12+ years older than Dick Grayson but some-odd years younger than Bruce Wayne's age)

also, if thepandaredd ever reads this: i do apologize if i have characterized Bill incorrectly. again, first draft version of writing the character, still learning about him, i digress

Kaycie made a face at Bill's phone-screen, where the big secret he was holding up was a simple singular sentence, newly written and about to be newly deleted in his phone's notes. "Wait... your last-name is Bail?" They crossed their arms. "So, like your name is 'Bill Bail'? Are you fucking kidding me? That, like, almost rhymes. And is it really like, bail money, where you pronounce that like 'bailed on the job once the Bats arrived'-kind-of-'bail'?" Kaycie's face scrunched up at Bill's cagy nod. "No." They stopped being quiet. "No, you had to have picked this, this has to be a fake name, absolutely not."

Bill waved upset shushing sounds at them. ("Oh, you did not just shush me, Billie.") "Not so fucking loud." He hissed, equally as failing to be subtle now. "Are you done? Or do you have more bullshit to get out of your fucking system?"

"I just think if you were going to lie to me, you know, Hench and Henchman are real last-names, your fake-name could at least be kind of funny. Or convincing. No parent would ever pick Bill Bail for their kid's name."

"Actually, my parents named me William Bail, fuck you very much."

Kaycie paused. "You're serious."

"I opened up to you."

"Wow." They said, deadpanned. "I can see why this is such a vulnerable topic for you."

"I'm a henchman," He leaned in, pointing at them, whispering as he looked suspicously around at the Big Belly Burger's other customers. "I'm not supposed to tell anybody my fucking name."

"Can't be hard with a name like that," Kaycie rolled their lips together. "Everyone will think you're lying as soon as you say it."

"I can't risk giving the villains or other goons my goddamn family tree of fucking weaknesses."

"Right, right, right." They were beginning to fucking giggle at him as they reached all the way over the table to steal his fries— fries he got them that they had claimed they didn't even want back when they were mad at him. "Because the Joker and Punchline totally look through a person's Facebook when wanting to manipulate them."

"Ugh." Bill fell back into the red and yellow, sparkly booth. These fucking seats smelled like mustard. Gross. "Shut up."

"Sorry," They smiled, "I meant Two-Face and Instagram."

"Will you fucking stop?"

"The Riddler and Twitter."

"Don't make me regret telling you."

"How does that work by the way?" Kaycie talked while eating and Bill just watched them. "Not telling anybody you work with your name, but then there's the Goonion and all its paperwork? Also, like, your phone contacts would do you in too, right? Just yoink, bam, weaknesses."

Bill waited for some dad-joke punchline to somehow enter the dialogue. But none came. His muscles untensed. "The villains and shit get our ID numbers and bar-codes if they want to re-hire us, along with a list of what we approve to be called by them. And most henchmen in the Goonion keep their personal phones at home, locked up while they're on the job, and keep a burner at work."

"But you don't." Kaycie pointed a fry at him like one would a finger. I know you.

Bill squirmed a bit. "I don't," He relented. "I memorize my people's phone-numbers so I'm not leaving a list of my vulnerabilities in a handheld box like a fucking moron, and I have a bot auto-delete my texts after 2 hours if I'm not deleting them myself. Plus, there's some black market apps to scramble who I'm calling, so I don't have to worry about them finding my call-log, like a VPN kind of. Because of course the black market has its own fucking app-store by now." Remembering the legalities of court-rooms and eavesdroppers and people the G.C.P.D. wire, he added, "Allegedly. I wouldn't know. I would check if there was such an app-store if I hypothetically needed to do hench-work. Which I don't." He leaned in close to them again, his voice hushed as he pushed Kaycie all "his" fries. "They don't even fucking know my name is William, y'know, I'm waiting for you to be fucking grateful."

"Mmhmm." Kaycie pushed the fries back to be mid-way between them to share before taking another small handful. "Yes, I do feel incredibly special knowing your parents didn't think through your nickname-plus-surname combo before finalizing your birth-certificate. This must have been hard for you to admit."

"I'll have you know that I happen to like my name."

Disbelief made Kaycie freeze mid-bite. "Do you really?"

"Yes." A pause. "Mostly."

Kaycie resumed eating. "I'm just skeptical because you sure do say 'It's Bill, just Bill' a lot."

"I just explained why I do that!" 

"Have I hit your limit on fondly mocking you?"

Bill sighed, pinching his nose-bridge. "Almost."

"Good, because I now need to know if your parents' names are also dumb." [*]

"And, just like that, my limit has been suddenly fucking hit." He sagged back as he turned his head away with crossed arms, much like a preteen sibling stubbornly would. "I'm not answering that today, try again never."

"Fine." Kaycie pouted before hesitating shyly. "...I am touched though. Just so you know." They pushed the fries closer to him. Eat.

"Yeah?" He ate a couple of fries, mostly so Kaycie themself would feel free to eat more.

"Mmhm." Kaycie did take more. Predictable. "Which is weird. I never thought there was intimacy in knowing a person's last-name before. I am glad I know it." They pointed at him sternly. "I better not read it in any obituary sections of upcoming newspapers. No becoming collateral damage, not allowed."

"Yeah." He looked down, rubbing his knuckles. "I... hope you don't die anytime soon, too."

"D'aww, Billie! You're such a softie."

"Wha-?" Bill jolted up. "Am not! Besides, you said it first!"

"But not as sweet and mushy as you did! You don't want me to die! That's so cute."

"Ugh." Bill sank back into the plastic-y booth and tipped the bill of his hat down, the way some old men do before a nap or some idiots do to hide their face from someone searching for them. "You're hitting on my stupid sap limit too, y'know."

"You love me, and I love you," They leaned their face close to the table to meet his eyes to spite him, "And we now both know each other's names, and we're besties!"

"Hey!" He whispered harshly, though Kaycie just quietly scoffed at him and how Bill's shoulders were hunched up to his ears as he moved his hat back up so his eyes could better look side to side. The pair was at a Big Belly Burger in broad daylight, not some villain-only speakeasy. "Not so loud." And just because he knew he couldn't deny the "love" bit without making Kaycie just as mad at Bill as they were before they got here, he said: "And we are not fucking 'besties'."

"Right, right, right. We are," Kaycie puffed out their chest and spoke in a deep 'man' voice, "'Best friends'." And then relaxed, smug about purposefully missing his point. They don't notice how Bill's face changes for a moment. "Afterall, your street cred is in dire need of protection and that is the manly way to say the thing."

Bill snorted, softening his shoulders yet tightening his fist, as he nodded his chin up. "Fuck yeah, it is."

Kaycie broke at that, cackling happily, which made Bill start keel over with some soft chuckles too. His concern for anyone staring dissolved a bit, at least for a while.

Because there was an underlying sadness to Bill's from the moment his face changed, the type of dejection people usually only have when they're so happy with their dog or cat that they make themselves sad over the intrusive reminder that their lifetimes don't match up enough for things to be like this forever. Bill's firmness that they were definitely not "besties", the point behind it being for Kaycie to not accidentally make themself a target, fell away to the realization that he might not have many chances to affirm that. The fact that he does value them so highly. That they are close. He might die. He might have to hide, disappear, never come back or get back in contact. 

Or, worse, someone might realize Bill has some new, local, walking, talking blackmail material and go after Kaycie. It was more likely people would realize Kaycie has some level of importance to the Wayne Manor due to their job, and use Kaycie to those ends, sure. But Bill wasn't a stranger to refusing to cross certain lines, picking and choosing his battles, and nonetheless making higher-ups very mad about it; or, hell, even going head to head with another henchman who maybe just was particularly petty and dangerous enough. Any of them might look around for a person as a way to control Bill. And if they get to Kaycie, it will work. Kaycie could get hurt or die because of Bill himself, directly. 

Because there was no way both of them would live to be wrinkly old fucks, no way Bill would ever be anything but the "torn away from us too soon" type, despite Kaycie's past insistences of them someday arguing over bingo and what time the movie downtown was showing. Bill would be so fucking lucky if he had another five, ten years of being this close to someone. He'd be so downright grateful if he could even have a guarantee on another three-odd months.

He was usually better at avoiding this kind of thing, at keeping friendly but never bonding. Something was going to give. An anvil-sized shoe will drop fucking soon.

And, with that kind of sobering thought: a little indulgement against the inevitable tragedy Kaycie Harjo would wreck onto his heart was simple. Kaycie always let him know they loved their best friend; he just wanted to let them know it was mutual, as much as he could let himself tell them anyway.

In that moment, it felt really good to not be scared or scary. Addictive, even.

---

[*] : i dont have hc names for Bill's parents, but a lady married into the Bail family-name being called "Monet Bail" (that's one of my bff's middle names! she was given it bc her dad wanted her to "get that money 'moneehh'", i kid you not, it was almost her first name because her dad liked that joke so much) with her husband nicknamed "Skipper" would be funny puns. but i truly think Bill's parents probably have unfunny, benign names. nonetheless, this is what Kaycie will assume his parents are called until told proven otherwise

● i also feel a bit inclined to mention Kaycie Harjo is based off of my labels (bc i never see a fictional character fully match all of me, and i am hungry for representation) but their personality is different than mine (for instance: im shy, jumpy, and overthinking to the point of arguable paranoia) (which i do love self-inserts btw, Kaycie is just not one of those). but yeah, i just have never seen another Indigenous American character who looks like me (i'm pale, short, and have short-hair, bc apparently hair on my neck is a sensory-overload for my peanut brain) that is a two-spirited feminine they/them in media; and in addition to all that, is one that is not powerful. at least, Kaycie's eventual peak "power level" is p equal to Alfred "He is just a British veteran guy with a gun and some damn fine aim for his age, innit?" Pennyworth's peak (his peak as a butler, not when he was an active soldier)— where, despite their lack of power/prowess yet is still valuable to everyone; again, despite the vast amounts of ways Kaycie cannot contribute to the team and is actually a burden to them, Kaycie is still considered valuable (wow, it's almost like my disabled ambulatory-wheelchair-user ass who cannot do a lot of "productive" physical shit is projecting, that's wild). so like. there's Kaycie basic info for you. surprise, it is v similar to mine, i wonder why lol

[kiwiorcore]

sorry this is sent wayy after i said i would lmao i got really busy and this fic deserves as good of a mini-analysis as i can give 🫶🏽🫶🏽 i’ll try and keep it as short as possible

all of the little details about kiwi’s past hurt so much ahh he really has moved about way too much </3 (side note arkadiusz reca reminds me a little of kiwi’s childhood friend from an interview i watched… he maybe has a type)

i love the way both arkadiusz and tomi are kiwi’s lifeline when it comes to not understanding the language it’s cute mirroring

‘Jakub allows himself to grow attached to the people around him. He allows himself to become comfortable. He allows himself to fall in love.’ being followed by ‘It was foolish to allow himself to get comfortable here. It was foolish to let himself grow attached as if he could ever stay.’ absolutely killed me oh my god

“I packed your bag for you. Why did you have a jam doughnut in your bag?” - LOVE these small references i appreciated every single one so much

‘Jakub is taken off in favour of Tomi.’ i know this literally happened in the game but the wording of ‘in favour for’ with the way kiwi’s told he’s (probably) going while tomi gets to stay </3 

the banter between them was elite you are so good at writing realistic dialogue btw 🫶🏽🫶🏽

‘He’s switched to English now.’ - this is weirdly accurate?? usually i see people switch to english for serious matters it feels more detached in a way.

the whole ‘argument’ scene felt very in character to me - kiwi prefering to talk things out first whereas tomi wanting to reason with himself first before talking makes a lot of sense

“You came back.” “Why wouldn’t I?” - screamed cried ruined me

“Even if you do get transferred,” Tomi says softly. “Why should that stop me from loving you right now?” followed by ‘The sound of distant fireworks rings in the new year.’ feels like a revelation idk it really shows the beginning of kiwi’s new mindset

‘Football is change and Jakub is no longer afraid of it.’ - BEAUTIFUL ending

i could write more but this is already looking to be wayy too long i’m so sorry lol but i genuinely loved it!! your writing has a certain style that i particularly like to read so reading something of yours is always a gift 🫶🏽🫶🏽 hope you have a good day!!

anon please there are tears running down my face omg

im honestly shocked kiwi seems so okay with all the moving about because i would definitely not be ok if i had to move around as much as he does

from the second i saw arkadiusz name mentioned in the long read i was like 'there's so much potential here.' i feel like it's my job to introduce new ships to the kiwi nation now lol

im glad you like the dialogue and stuff because i think that took me longest to write because would they actually say that?? i think i rewrote that banter bit like 3 times because it just sounded off to me

‘He’s switched to English now.’ - this is weirdly accurate?? usually i see people switch to english for serious matters it feels more detached in a way.

i feel like italian for them is more intimate than english. even though they could probably express their thoughts better in italian, tomi still switches to english because italian feels too special

one thing about me is that i love love love symbolism like i was thinking about this fic just before the fulham game then i realised i could set it on new years eve and my brain snapped it up

anon don't ever apologise because this made my day seriously i love you

[roseriot2191]

Entry 3/Grandma Talk Seshs

instead of going to the 2nd concert venue, i ended up going to my grandma's. she needed help taking some stuff over to value village, and i offered to stop by and use my car since it has a big trunk. afterward, we just talked about stuff. she asked about my ex, and i shot the question down immediately. i just said that we weren't talking. i hated that lmao. i didn't tell anyone in my family about my ex when we were dating, and after we broke up except my grandma. im not out to anyone explicitly, but i dont hide my queerness either. it's definitely a dont ask, dont tell type of situation. anyways, we talked about my grandpa, who i live with. they got divorced 20 some years ago, but they're still good friends. while talking about her and my grandpa, i realized that i relate to a lot of their problems and stuff, but not in a way that i feel more connected and could seek reassurance in my own situation. i think the main barrier that i put up is due to our age gap. one of the topics she started with was how she had a sort of date tonight but wasn't going to go. i thought she should've but didn't try to convince her to go. she was saying that she's starting to really come to terms with her loneliness and being alone in general at 61. im glad that she's coming to terms with her situation, but as guilty and awful as it sounds, i can't let myself end up like her. she wasted so much time on raising my cousin, which i won't get into, but the way she cut people out of her life to do so. and also another thought i had is im sort of scared that i won't come to accept my own loneliness until im old and even more insignificant. lately, due to social get togethers and situations, i thought that i honestly do a lot better when im by myself, and i really do. im more focused on myself and working towards my goals. but im not truly happy by myself. so i find friends and recently tried to date. now im tired of my friends. not in a way that i'd discard them, but i feel like we just aren't good for each other now. and dating didn't go well. like my grandma said tonight "if you put me in a room with 300 people, ill always pick the one thats more damaged than i am and tear myself apart while i try so hard to help and be the best (worse) version i am for that person" and i really see how my family, my mom, my aunt, my uncles, and me. i hate that. why can't i be different and break away from this curse. this tragedy. to love people with everything and to receive nothing. to feel unlovable as a result. anyways, so basically, i know and understand that others can't complete myself, but i can't seem to complete myself either. and i just have to come to terms with it? this is just how it is? that's sucky and shitty. but im 17, so what do i know. time will be the deciding factor, i guess.

we also talked about school and moving. i cant wait to move and be on my own. but again i keep thinking about how lonely that'll feel. its whatever though. she asked if i still wanted to move to portland for school. i told her that i would just move to portland and lie about going to school. she asked why portland then? if youre going to lie about going to the school then you could lie about where you're moving to. i could. i honesty could. i would too. im suppose to move in with my 2 friends but neither of them, though they're serious about moving together, put no effort in finding jobs, saving or discussing the actual factors that go into moving together. we have about two years before we'd move so i know there plenty of time for them to figure it out but i over think everything and feel like i have less time than in actuality. again im 17 and i should know i have so much time to figure this stuff out but i really dont feel like i do.

i'll make another post again later tonight, probably, with a lighter and fun topic, hopefully. talk to you again soon.

[87435678753256732]

manifestations + new stuff

what will be happening this year:

will start grad school (3 years)

possibly moving out?

I had talked to my mother about moving out about a year ago. It was just contemplation. What she said to me was nicer than what I imagined it would be. basically, she stated that she would support me, as she knows that I would eventually move on with my own life. this was way better than what I thought it would be. I had internalized the guilt of a first gen daughter, and assumed that I would get hit with a guilt trip. Now that grad School will start in august, I have been starting to actually look into it. the guilt mostly came from how my mother would pay rent. who would cover my portion? I did remember that she told me one of her friends was interested, so maybe she still is? I brainstormed and rehearsed what I would say for the entire day basically. if I said ONE wrong thing, she would easily twist that and use it against me.

The conversation I had with her was tough, but I wasn't attacked which was nice. basically said that if I wanted to do that, I have 30 days to do it and I would have to figure out my own bills that I go half with her. I was taken a back, especially because i didn't state a definite day that I would leave. im hoping it is just a test, lmao? I would have to figure out 1. rent 2. cell phone bill 3. car insurance 4. internet 5. light (utilities) + other expenses like food. I am going half on our car insurance, so that'll be interesting to figure out. it feels like she wants to completely cut me off, which I understand if that is what independence looks like, but it is a very hard transition. my sister will start college soon, so hopefully she can get a job and help my mom with rent + the additional person that will rent my room which I assume will be her friend that was interested.

as for myself, im kind of winging it. I would like it to either be by work, or by school. I should be able to find a decent deal in oc, but lb def has cheaper prices. if I go to lb, I will be leaving oc which I don't think im ready for? my boyfriend has been having issues with his roommate, mostly bc of their differences in lifestyles. based off what he told me, I think his friend may be autistic, which makes it difficult for him to communicate and adapt to change. I feel a bit bad bc it was me coming over that caused this. my bf feels bad bc they've been friends for so long, and he's not sure if he has ruined their friendship. I tried to comfort him and went over how to present his feelings to his roommate, without making it sound like a guilt trip. his roommate said he needs to leave asap, but is open to paying his part until the lease ends (oct) which is interesting. the rate that they are paying is what a 1b1b is going for, which is wild? if his roommate does leave, the possibility of us living together increases. I would feel more comfortable living with him than with new people. it seems very fast, I am aware of that, but I really do love him and don't have a bad gut feeling about this. I still haven't told my mom that I am contemplating living with him, mostly bc I do not want her to see him as a bad person, bc she easily splits. when we had the conversation, she did not bring him up which was a little surprising. there could also be the possibility that she likes him compared to my past partners. I will talk to him about this later today, and what my plan is. im not exactly sure how serious my mom was when she told me she wanted me to have it figured out by may (two weeks?), but she could also be testing to see if im as capable of being an adult as id like to think I am. welp!

income wise, im doing pretty well. I make 25/hr FT, around 4000. my partner makes around the same as well. he's currently doing a certificate program that could bump up his income once he has the certificate and takes advantage of the career center program available for folks in tech classes. based off the stuff he's doing, income will most likely go up (tech related), especially in OC where there's so many companies looking. remote work is also a possibility. I would def not be contemplating moving if we both worked service jobs. but I should be good as rates go up. what im not too sure about is my moms income. she works two jobs, and brings in around 2500/mo. my sister could pitch in around 500 if she gets a job. the roommate (prob her friend, Bee) will prob be looking at 1-1.5k. making it 1k mom, 500 sister, 1.5k roommate. so looks like it should work out? I was also thinking abut my dog as well. initially, we got her for me as an ESA, but she has become super close with my mom and probably likes her the most. so she'll most likely stay here.

im very excited to see what my next steps will be. it will be hard, esp adjusting after being with my mom for so long. but its okay, life goes on and I guess my start will be in 2023.

easter went good! I spent Sunday with I and his family. there was a good chunk of them, around 10-15??? they were all very nice and welcoming! this was his hispanic side, which he basically grew up with. his aunt liked that I spoke Spanish, and they probably liked that I was latino and visibly brown as well LOL. my bf was trying to enjoy the event, but it was hard when he was just thinking about his friendship in the back of his head. I got home early that night bc he was feeling tired, which I understood. it was cool to finally be around a lot of cool people/family. my family is small, and with my moms personality disorder, she always has beef with them so we have NEVER had a gathering that I can remember (23 years? lol) mostly because of her pride and individualistic selfishness. I understand why she would think that way. to her. she's closer with her sisters in Mexico, but due to her status, she cannot see then unless she gets documentation or if she just decides to go back. we have had the convo before, and she has said that her hopes are to go back to Mexico and live in the home that she was been putting money in for the past two decades. ive been aware of this, especially when many of my own clients born in Mexico that have shared that their end goal is to be in Mexico bc they don't want to pass away here. I don't think that will be any time soon. maybe once my sister goes her own way. anyway, thats it for now. I will practice some manifestation bc tiktok astrologers are saying its important

[haikyuuthots]

Hi I really enjoyed you tik tok prank head canon! Is there any way you can make a head canon where the reader calls them bro prank lol. Like how would they react. Can you do Atsumu, Suna, Bokuto and Ushijima please!!!! Thank you 😽

Calling him “bro” prank

Characters: Miya Atsumu, Suna Rintaro, Bokuto Koutarou and Ushijima Wakatoshi

Warnings: none I think

Scenario: how the boys would react if you tried the calling them bro prank on them haha

A/n; thanks for requesting!!! I had a lot of fun writing this one, I hope you enjoy it 😌💕

——————————————————————

Miya Atsumu

You always referred to Atsumu as babe, baby or love

So when you saw this prank on Tik tok you wanted to see how he would react

You were both sitting in the living room of your shared apartment

He was watching a volleyball game on the tv while you were writing an essay on your laptop

He was going crazy talking about a serve one of his favorite teams just did

“Woooo babe did ya see that crazy serve?!??”

You thought this might be a good time to pull the prank off

“Mmm no i didn’t can you go back so I can see it?”

He rewinds the video and you watch intently as he shows excitement all over again

“Bro!! That was so cool” you say as casual as possible

Atsumu’s entire demeanor changes, and the look of excitement he had seconds ago completely fades

“What did ya just call me?” His face filled with confusion

“Huh when?” You try your best not to laugh out loud, he looks completely lost lmao

“Literally 3 seconds ago, you called me bro.”

“I did?” You’re doing your best to play it off

“Yes you did! I hate it I’m not your bro. ” He’s slightly pouting

You slightly chuckle “aw come on bro don’t be like that.”

He looks towards you with a disgusted face, he is evidently unsatisfied with your choice of words

“Y/n stop dont call me that I’m baby and nothing else I will actually ignore you if you call me that again.” He actually looks a bit upset

But you still wanna tease him a bit more

“Fine I’m sorry.,,” you briefly laugh and pause for a second “...bro”

“That’s it I’m ignoring ya til ya act right.”

He gets up and begins to walk away

You’re full blown laughing now “baby baby wait.” You say as you reach out to stop him

His ears slightly perk up at the mention of his regular nickname

Still laughing you talk “it’s a prank. I’m just messing with you. I saw it on Tik Tok

He looks down out you, in disbelief, his frown quickly changing into a smile

Soon after he starts laughing with you

“Chaotic duo*

“That was actually kinda mean babe, I was like wtf why is she calling me her brother”

You start laughing even more “ wtf did you actually think I would call you bro? Never. you’re baby.”

He leans in closer to you and gently grabs you by the waist kissing you softly on the lips “better be.”

You kiss him back and wrap your arms around his neck, he softly picks you up causing you to wrap your legs around his torso as he continues to kiss you

Pulling away briefly he speaks again “but seriously don’t ever call me bro again I hate it”

“I won’t” you answer smiling up at him.

Suna Rintaro

You usually don’t try to pull pranks on him because he normally never falls for them

But after watching so many of these on tik tok and watching the reactions you were curious to try it out yourself

You’re casually sitting on your boyfriends lap while you’re both on your phones watching short videos

A few time passes by when Suna breaks the silence between you two

“Hey babe you hungry?”

You thought this was the perfect time to call him bro

“Nah bro I’m good” you say sounding as normal as possible

Suna drops his phone and gently shifts you from his lap making you look towards him

You ignore him and continue to look down at your phone lol

He doesn’t say anything at first, leaving an awkward silence for a few seconds

Still staring in disbelief he breaks the silence again “pause that and look at me real quick.”

You do as he says and you look up at him innocently acting like nothing is wrong

“What’s up?” You innocently reply

His grip tightens around you waist a bit “did you.. really just call me that?”

“What are you talking about?” You’re trying your best to keep a straight face

“You just called me bro.” He’s pouting

You honestly can’t believe he fell for it hahahaha

“Oh. Yeah I did. Does that bother you?” You’re just trying to rile him up at this point lmao

He scowls at your reply, gently pushing you off of his lap so he can look at you better “yes that bothers me, I’m not out here calling you dude or anything because you’re my girlfriend.”

You can’t help but laugh at his expression. Completely satisfied at the fact he actually reacted to your little prank

Suna is beyond confused “why are you laughing? I’m serious please don’t call me bro.”

“Baby” you gently leans towards his chest as you continue to laugh “I’m totally joking, it’s a prank I saw on tik tok.”

He cracks a small smile before he speaks again “this is the dumbest prank ever.”

You’re still laughing “yeah? But you were hella pressed so it worked.”

He rolls his eyes at your teasing “yeah yeah you got me.”

Still smiling you sit on his lap again and hug him tightly placing small kisses on his face to lighten up his mood

“I promise I would never call you bro and mean it.”

He smiles into your kisses, tightening his grip around your body while he kisses you gently on the lips

“I’m glad you wouldn’t cause I’m your boyfriend.”

“I know baby.” You respond leaning in once again, to close the gap between your lips.

Bokuto Koutarou

You have not called bokuto by his name since you started dating

It’s always a baby, babe or bub

So when you were on tik tok and saw a girl prank her boyfriend by calling him bro you wanted to try it out yourself on your boyfriend.

You and bokuto were tangled in each other’s arms watching a movie together.

The movie was a suspenseful, drama and the scene that was playing had a lot of blood

As you wince at the gore, you quickly decide this is where you’re gonna do the prank lol

“Aww bro look at all that blood.” You say, with a hint of disgust in your voice

Bokutos grip around you loosens, and he quickly goes to look for the remote to pause the tv

He’s looking towards you, with a very large frown on his face

You slightly chuckle “what’s wrong you don’t like the gore?”

“No it’s not that.” He answers still frowning

“Then what is it?” You respond pretending to not know why he’s really upset

“It’s just..... are you mad at me or something?”

You give him a confused look “why would I be mad at you?”

“I don’t know but you always call me babe, or something but just now... you called me bro.”

You’re doing your best to hold back your laughter “bro you sound crazy.”

Now Bokuto is pouting even more than before “aw did you just bro me again?” He dramatically buries his face in his hands “im sorry i made you mad but can you please go back to calling me baby?”

You can’t keep the joke going any further, Bokutos distressed figure is actually making you feel bad

“Baby” you coo as you remove his hands from his face “I’m just kidding, it’s a prank.”

You start laughing out more as you watch Bokuto relax into your touch

He instantly joins in to laugh with you

“Oh my god I can’t believe you got me.”

“I honestly didn’t even think you would notice”

“How could I not, you called me bro!” He replies still laughing a bit

“Why would you think I was mad though?” You question, still chuckling

“Why else would you call me such a terrible name? The only reason I could think of is if you were upset with me.”

You briefly laugh as you lean in to kiss bokuto softly on the lips, he reciprocates right away tightening his hold around your waist

Pulling away from the kiss bokuto speaks again, “do me favor and never call me bro again? I really hated it.”

You lovingly look at your boyfriends face “ oh I promise I won’t, I hated it too.”

He chuckles at your reply as he leans in to kiss you once again

Ushijima Wakatoshi

Ushijima was used to you calling him Toshi or love.

In fact he only ever responded to you when you called him one or the other

One time you called him by his last name and the man deadass unintentionally ignored you

That being said this man is still very stoic and hardly ever shows any reactions

So when you saw this prank you weren’t sure if he would react, the most you were expecting was to be ignored lol

You and Ushijima were out in the store buying some groceries

You were thinking of a good time to causally call him bro and you finally decided to do it when you were at the vegetable aisle

Picking up a giant broccoli you look over to Ushijima, quickly grabbing his attention

“Bro look at this broccoli it’s huge!” You say enthusiastically

Ushijima is staring at you with a blank stare, almost trying to understand the words that just came out of your mouth

“Helllo????” You say waving your hand in front of his face

Ushijima gently grabs your hands and lowers it

Still holding on, he asks in the most serious tone “what did you just call me?”

You’re holding back a smile trying your best to be as serious as you can

“Oh just now??? I said bro”

“Why would you call me that?” He’s looking at you with a confused face

“Because we’re close, people who are close always casually call each other bro”

“But y/n we”re dating.”

“Sooooo??” You say still trying your best not to burst out laughing

“People who are dating don’t call each other bro they call each other cute pet names”

“But you don’t call me any pet names?”

“Babe. I call you babe, that’s a pet name.”

“Well I want you to call me bro.” At this point you’re about to break, this conversation is so funny to you.

“I’m not gonna call you bro. And I don’t want you calling me bro either, I hate that.”

“Come on bro don’t be like that.” You teasingly say letting out a small chuckle

Ushijima once again stares at you, this time he’s evidently unamused

“I won’t respond to you if you keep calling me that.” He says as he begins to walk away

You’re full blown laughing as you run to stop Ushijima from walking away any further

“Toshi wait” you say holding onto his shirt

Ushijima turns around to look at you, still very confused

“I’m totally joking, I would never call you bro. It’s a prank I saw in tik tok.”

Ushijima cracks a soft smile, looking down at you as you laugh

“Thank god, I was so confused by that entire conversation.”

“I could tell, you’ve never looked more lost.”

He gently grabs you to hold you as you guys begin to walk again

“Alright let’s go, we need to finish shopping.”

“Okay love.”

He smiles as he hears the common pet name. That what he loved hearing you call him.