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#the way I'd be SO DONE with everything
sharpsuite · 4 months
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Just thinking about how it's basically established that if you've been to the Borderlands, any near life or death situations seems to send you right back to the Borderlands, or at least a version of it. It's really the "Martha I'm coming home- IM BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN" meme
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crimeronan · 3 months
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ultimately i think the appeal of daniel and armand to me is that it's very much a typical dark romance storyline where the heroine is kidnapped and tortured by an evil monster but using her wits she manages to seduce him and make him emotionally vulnerable to her, because she is More Special and More Clever than all of his other victims, and because of this she enjoys a level of dangerous favor and protection from him, except in This version of the dark romance it's two toxic old men who both have the worst fucking personalities imaginable. who truly just fucking suck beyond measure. like no pun intended, they are Garbage, one is the actual literal immortal devil and the other is just kind of a deadbeat with no moral compass, neither of them is willing to work on himself and neither of them has ANY reason to want to rail the other as bad as they do.
and yet. There They Are,
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mayasaura · 1 year
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Actually. Looking at the chronology. The last time Gideon and Harrow talked alone before the pool scene, Gideon accused Harrow of being a jealous creep for telling her to stay away from Dulcinea.
A whole lot of stupifying things happened in between, but really, it wouldn't be surprising if her first panicked reaction to Harrow disrobing was to think Harrow was making a move on her. Relationship definitely hurtling toward something.
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hermemescabin · 5 months
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Annabeth forgave her dad, let it go
A person reconciling with a neglectful and/or abuse parent in real life is a very personal choice that you have the right to make for yourself.
A character who grew up in an abusive and/or neglectful house in fiction, only to have this neglect invalidated by the author, is a totally different matter. Personally I never felt that Rick gave me enough reason to believe Frederick is redeemed. Also he's fictional and my opinion won't hurt him. I just don't like him.
At the end of the day we're all going to interpret these things differently and I welcome you to disagree if you feel like it.
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bacchuschucklefuck · 5 months
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this whole thing being abt rage is also really interesting. I feel like it comes up so much in fiction as a motive because it's the one emotion that's unifyingly restless while everything else can be petrifying, and just personally nothing hits like impotent rage for me, esp. with teen characters, esp. with characters whose rage is stoked by Someone Else to further that Someone Else's cause. like you'll have done all that in a bout of passion and when you're done you look around you and nothing has changed. those sentiments don't get quelled by being satisfied. righteousness withdrawal is a horrible thing to intentionally drag someone into, least of all just some kids.
#I think Ive brought my personal experience into this whole thing lol but yeah just.#the ratgrinders read so much like radicalization to me. or you know just. high control group recruitment#and I've seen that one time brennan brought up uhhh conservatism? and where people come from with that#that quote of his thats like. before youre a fascist youre a bully. like extreme sentiments take root on specific soils#and that's like a higher level than what we're talking abt here lmao it's fake fantasy high school role playing#but yeah just like. the simultaneous understanding of the grift working on these kids bc they already think a certain way#and also the other part that is no matter what the way that they think is not. conducive to them being happy#like yeah a nasty person is nasty to be around! but that also means they're often isolated#which makes them even easier prey for people who want to use them#fhjy coming out in The Current Climate makes that connection so apparent too lol like#me hearing abt the rage god: oh so like twitter#for the record of course I Dont Know if this is a read that's intended by the show#but it maps well onto my experience with radicalization/decentralized cult#Ive just. been thinking abt the rat grinders in those terms ever since I made the connection#like. you're accomplished and high level and such. is this sustainable? have you done anything For Yourself#or has everything you've done so far been coerced out of you by someone else's sweettalking#anyways if I can run porter cliffbreaker over with a car I would. and I'd reverse on him too#truly thats the highschool trauma as well as the grown man with niblings talking lmao#nothing gets me more mad than a shitty teacher#not art
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naivety · 24 days
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okay i need feedback from the autism mentall illness website um. this is going to read like an AITA post. brother vs half-sister (who are currently my dependents do to their own individual disabilities + ptsd/depression) spat i will skim the details on but i'm worried my sister will discount my take since i'm not autistic myself so. am i crazy to call it ableist to look at an autistic person (23) who is clearly going through it dealing w long term depression, a world that doesn't give a shit abt him, unemployment, very self-isolated and burnt out barely leaving his room because the world is an ableist dumpster fire with zero opportunities for him, and then bring up childhood abuse he's suffered and his diagnosis as reasonable factors on top of this to worry he'll [checks notes] abuse my cat just to hurt me or even worse have a breakdown and kill me and his other sibling in a violent episode, a train of thought i probably wouldn't even be having were he not [checks notes] mad at me for the first time in my life?
like i don't have any other read on this kind of fear-based characterization other than ableism. like those are very real things in his life but she never points out any current violent behavior, of which there are none, only the one (1) instance of him lashing out when he was like 14 and Officially Diagnosed Low Empathy she thinks is a concern and Hateful Looks toward her since he stopped getting along with her, that's it. i tried explaining to her why i, someone who's lived w him his entire life, can vouch for how unlikely he is to do anything like that, especially when it's again not based on anything he's actually currently doing except for isolating in a way that is much more indicative of him potentially being a danger to himself than anyone else, and being cold towards her specifically, and i thought she had let it go, but when i brought it up off-hand in a conversation tangentially related, she continued to defend and justify her Concern about the potential directions his behavior could lead to because [checks notes] other people in similar situations have lashed out and killed their entire families according to. true crime books or videos she's watched on youtube as far as i'm aware. ignoring the fact that her and i have had the same or Worse childhood abuse and have acted similarly isolated in the past, or for her literally just as currently as him, and she's not expressed any worry past or present about either of us doing anything like that, in my opinion obviously because i haven't cut her off due to our differences like he decided to. like am i big sibling biased because this is pissing me off so bad.
#j.txt#autism#ableism#very sorry to hang all my dirty laundry like this but she is absolutely the type of person to not take accusations of ableism seriously#due to being disabled/traumatized herself and i. feel like she thinks just because she's fixated on and consumed so much about like#mental disorders and illness and whatever she thinks she's an expert on it#enough to like. non-gendered equivalent mansplain peoples' own traumas and disorders to them lol which she has done to me as well#my brother actually last i checked felt like his diagnosis wasn't even accurate#but to me knowing our mom was v ableist antivax about her understanding of autism and a very neurotypical definition of it#it makes sense if the criterias or definitions don't feel accurate to him#idk. IDK#um. if this gets no engagement i'll delete it rather quick probably i just#don't wanna talk out of my ass when i'm not even autistic yk#i'm very aware i can be biased about him vs her because i actually grew up w him and he's younger than us but like#i havent heard him use her own diagnosis and childhood trauma and ugly moments in this way to justify his bad faith characterizations of he#so it's very much. just something she's doing. if my brother started doin it too i'd have the same conversation but he hasn't which i think#is u.m Telling <3#like She's the one actually complaining about how he assumes the worst of her in everything she does now and it makes her feel awful#meanwhile she. probably doesn't say any of this to Him but boy has she talked about it with me!#if it's not obvious we are all very mentally ill trapped in a house 2gether trying to save up to move so we can get away from each other lo
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treasure-goblin · 5 months
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malaierba · 3 months
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Been thinking, there's an issue with how creators and readers often approach the theme of "coming back wrong", since so much of the emphasis ends up being put in the "they came back part". Especially on the readers' side, the idea that someone would do whatever it takes to bring you back is parsed as romantic and devoted, which it can be, but it overlooks a big element of the concept.
Coming back wrong, or even just performing forbidden rituals etc in general, for it to be impactful needs to place a big AND constant focus on the in-universe equivalents of Do Not Resuscitate & bodily autonomy when one can't consent.
It's not just the coming back. It's that you don't know what type of body, what type of mind you're coming back to. It's the dysphoria, if it can exist (and it should), and the expectation that you'll be okay with whatever was done to your inert body when you couldn't decide over it. You're back, you're alive, surely you can get over the circumstances under which it happened, be thankful.
You don't even need to get abstract with "the inherent feeling of wrongness that comes from being brought back from death", most humans can't relate to that, it's vague to the point where it isn't real stakes. It's just a non-issue mentioned to give a fake sense of stakes.
But if you take inspiration on DNR, from people whose lifestyle was changed radically from being saved from a situation where they may have preferred to be allowed to pass on. Like, say:
You come back, and you gotta learn to use your body from zero, and you'll be reliant on others forever. Or you come back and you look so different you feel disconnected from yourself, and every waking moment is uncomfortable. Or you come back, and too much time has passed, you feel like the life you were meant to live got away from you. Or you come back, and what was done to your changes you so fundamentally you end up isolated even if it's no one's intention. Or the ones that brought you back didn't do it selfishly but out of entitlement to your life.
The wrongness needs to be acknowledged often to the point of tediousness, only then would the spectator get a real sense of "okay, I see now why that'd be an issue, and why many would hate it".
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overly-verbose · 4 months
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A whole lot of the next Part is literally just;
Everyone else's brains: *the entirety of the Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney OST intensifies*
Meanwhile, SIkuna's brain: *the Wii theme song (occasionally interrupted by falling_metal_pipe_sound.mp3) starts playing*
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bookshelf-in-progress · 8 months
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Number of stories I would like to write: Many.
Number of stories I find myself able to write: Zero.
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jasontoddenthusiastt · 7 months
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It is not classist that Jason, a vigilante in a *family of vigilantes*, is violent like the rest | just | because he comes from a poor family
What's (more likely) classist is writers thinking he needs to be taught right vs wrong from Bruce and co and that he consequently makes snap judgments out of some childish grudge-fueled rebellion which makes him dangerous the way a toddler holding a knife is dangerous
#that dumb godzilla vs kong beast wrld issue is a prime example of what I'm talking abt#but I can't even say that's | classism | per se#cause it's also just a product of writers not liking him solely for being in opposition to their bbyg bruce#kelseethe#when will people get it in their heads that shooting someone isn’t “more" violent#than cracking their skulls on cement or ripping their bodies to shreds “but keeping them alive”#things the other bats do pretty regularly and with quite a bit of pride too#it will never not be weird that people see Jason remorselessly poisoning a child trafficker who did it for EXTRA cash#or shooting+killing a dude who was deliberately poisoning his young kid and wife with a drug similar to street fentanyl#and think he should have his edges rounded out#people who say Jason can afford to be “less violent”#are accidentally “Jason should kill less sob sob urban legends is good” schmucks#which is kinda more pathetic than being his anti like at least they *know* what they're saying#even if he was more rageful like in rh gotham war instead of cold/detached like in utrh I'd have that any day#over cheer Jason's “sob sob bad people dying still has consequences I don't really know how to cope with so rubber bullets see” nonsense#ever since his appearance in batman 408. everything Jason has done#he did knowing exactly why he was doing it and what the consequence(s) would be#he believes the extent of “harm” a person causes is always their choice#and he doesn't do more for the sake of revelling in the pain he causes the way bruce does#but whatever he does do he never tries to sugarcoat or downplay which makes it all the more agreeable#and he certainly doesn’t convince himself he does it out of love or compassion or some other mushy horeseshit#like sorry you're of feeble mind but I'm not a wuss and I think it's very logical and cool lol
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recent lounging babey images
#he's so floppy recently and I hope it's just the heat. I think wamr weather makes everyone floppy and loungy#a beauntifulle boye...#cats#STILL working on posting some drafts. finishing new poll adventure.. other things... It's just hard with the weather and other things going#on. I've had a few more doctors appointments and other things to do recently that have to be done in a time limit#so I hvae to use my extremely limited energy working on that instead of doing the things I'd really rather do. :T#Main focuses though are keeping up better with doing and posting costumes + sculptures as main creative things. at least finishing the#main poll adventure story. Reworking the game I kind of abandoned for a few years. keeping up with game videos and a few other side things.#Especially the game though. I've been in a really worldbuildy mood recently. I just wish that was easier to manifest into something. I've#now put the worldbuilding slideshow reading video on pause for a while because it's SOOO long to do#and I think I should prioritize making games and stuff instead. but still other things. IT's just kind of like.. I have a whole world and#everything very built and planned out but now.. what do I do with it? what's the best way to share that? factual slideshows just going over#the information like a dictionary? make it into a game? write short stories? do art attached to the world? etc. etc. ?? There are so many#potential avenues I end up kind of flip flopping between them a lot because none really seem more beneficial than the others and they all#seem equally enjoyable and also equally hard so. It's like?? I guess just do what the hell ever and hope I made the right choice in terms o#cost benefit and reward for my time lol. ANYWAY.. Also why I'm in my 'trying to make friends' era still because I think having other creat#ive friends can help you find direction like.. people will meet each other and then go 'hey lol just for fun lets start a project together!#and then like 5 years later it's genuinely become something. etc. having other people to help weed out ideas and start small creative teams#together and etc. I feel is a very beneficial part of networking or whatever but also I have the social capacity of a stale bread roll and#am also inherently unrelatable to seemingly a majority of people due to my hermit wizard swag (detachment from general society and hyper#focus on fantasy worlds in my head gjhghj) so trying to meet people as a grown adult with social issues is Very easy and fun (it is not)#even very basic things like my core communication style is so incompatible with a lot of people it's like.. hhhh... People in this modern#age have GOT to stop being afraid of phone calls and/or text that is longer than 6 paragraphs. Work with me here. I WANT to talk to you. bu#I do not know what your emojis mean and it's physically impossible for me to type less than 85 sentences. please.. hhjgjgb#AAANYWAY!! I am working on things when I can given the circumstances (SUMMER).. hopefully some costume pictures and stuff soon. :'3#I've not forgotten about my art and etc. - as usual I just am bad at social media and also functioning if it's above 65F lol
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famewolf · 1 month
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for so long all I wanted to do was die but now that I'm older, all I worry about is dying too soon. too soon to experience all the things I didn't give myself time for when I was young. I don't want to spend these years overthinking what time I have left
#[static]#wild how the brain shifts#i want to live i want to experience everything i can and i never thought i'd make it this long#my brain has done a 180 and it's always on the back of my mind (and sometimes the front) that i could die in the blink of an eye#im not scared of death but i am scared of not having lived#my ptsd/ocd combo has been pummeling me lately and i feel like im sometimes at a breakthrough where ive figured out a way-#-to stop being scared ... to just allow myself to live without the what ifs.#i do it in practice but the reality is that no matter how nonchallant and down to earth I appear in real life-#-my brain is picking apart the resolve i've carefully put together for myself#it's like constantly picking at a wound that's begun to heal and i cant get myself to stop#it's Exhausting having to continuously catch ones self from falling further back down the hole your younger self dug#im finally living as the person i always wanted to be and nothing can take that from me even if it were to all come crashing down tomorrow#but im still not used to the stability so that's why my brain does what it does best#what's three or four years of stability to decades of being in fight or flight ... it will take time and it's hard work#but i know with time it will be worth it and i wont remember the dread in the back of my skull every time i experience happiness#i'll just remember the days as they were ... and they are wonderful#just needed to vent for a moment! mental health is such a surly thing
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ra-vio · 5 months
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semester is almost over. im dying
#my oc#rune#mori#i have a project due tomorrow and its finally scared me back into drawing#even though i should be working on this project but im SO SO SO TIRED#i went on an outing like 2 weeks ago the same week that i walked everywhere cause i was desperately#trying to get my taxes done but thats a different story but the point is i was walking a lot and i went on an outing where i stood all day#and then i had to go to class the very next day thinking i was fine but i wasnt.#and that same day after i walked across the city because i absolutely had to pick a thing up. i think the same week i met up with my mom#a couple of times but i was walking the whole way there. my point is that for 2 weeks straight i have been rigorously walking everywhere#and on my feet all the time with little breaks in between and my feet fucking hurt man#i need this semester to be OVER i need to sleep for a MONTH#but i cant because i have to scrape together SOME of this project and finals are next week#this class this project is for fucking sucks. all semester ive been teetering the line between pass and fail#and its not even my fucking fault. im so burnt out so i dont want to do this project. but i might fail if i dont#i need to at least demo it but i have like. one thing done and i dunno what to tell my TA about i#how do i tell my TA and prof that everything is too much for me so i absolutely could work on this project#my laptop is broken so im afraid to use it. the server kept going down last month so i was afraid to use that#so many stupid little things keep piling up and i'd sound really weird trying to explain why i cant do my work#because my desk is on the floor and it makes me really sad so no i cant do my hw. my fave candy has red40 in it so i had to stop eating it#but now i cant do my work because i was using it to help me focus on my hw. LIFE SUCKS BRO#anyway whatever happens. i cant wait to play video games again
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lususnatura · 3 months
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alright, but one of blamore's hobbies is sculpture-making and so he HAS made numerous smaller ones over the years, but the one he's making right now is this statue of artemis (whom is the greek goddess of the hunt, the wilderness, and wild animals which is EXACTLY why it chose to make a sculpture representing her) is something it aims to be a little bit shorter than himself — so i guess you could say it is sort of a big project?¿ yeah LMAO and if blamore isn't gardening, then it'll usually be working on it.
now, so far, he's only got the bust done all the way to the shoulders as of now + it's mixed media so it's made mostly of wood, BUT it's also got some other elements like wire and some random things that you might not normally think of mixing into a sculpture in it. though man's doesn't just show anyone his progress on it because he usually wants thing's to be 'done' before he does... and that is to say that, if it does happen to show this sculpture to you, then you are officially one of its friends (':
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tittyinfinity · 2 months
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No seroquel means no sleep for me I guess. I've been trying for hours
#decided if im gonna be awake i may as well do something other than wallow in thoughts that cause me anxiety#just super fucked up that i went from believing i could no longer feel romantic attraction#to suddenly being flooded with feelings#and like he didn't even confess romantic feelings for me he just said hed be down to fuck sometime#usually id just be like yeah that's fine i don't usually catch feelings#so it's fucking me up that im having romantic feelings towards someone who probably doesnt feel that way#and it's fucking me up that i caught feelings from being TOLD he'd like to fuck we haven't even done that#sigh i can't pretend like those feelings weren't already there and just extremely repressed....#kept having so many dreams about being in love w him... I'd do everything i could to shake the feeling off#it comes down to insecurities#feeling like i make too many mistakes to be with someone as good as him#the fear that I'll stress him out#one of the most amazing people I've ever met. he has respected my boundaries for years#and i guess those boundaries were only firmly in place bc i knew deep down it would spark something#honestly i felt a huge spark hours before he even told me#whenever he came up behind me and hugged me on the neck#his lips accidentally brushed against my neck and i swooned#we haven't talked since that night but he said he wants to have a conversation about it when he's not busy#he has two jobs#his 2nd one lasting til 1am#but yeah thinking about what he might say is making me nervous#like what if he suddenly decides that it IS too risky#i don't think ill be able to kick these feelings#at least i let him know head on that i might fall in love w him if we pursue anything else#but we haven't even pursued shit!! and i feel this way already!!#i guess not ''in love'' but the crush is hard-fucking-core#the kind of crush i havent had since meeting my ex 7 years ago...#i forgot what the feeling was like. and it's.... so strong#.bdo
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