#the vibe was off
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*boop*
#im alive#ive just been super busy with my job amd trying to get myself stable#ive been writing again too#i scrapped the in progress chapter i was working on before July#the vibe was off#slowly crafting a new chapter#dont know if its gonna move the story forward or just be a self indulgent chapter yet#we'll see
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She just sat contented in the comfy chair as I built this up around her
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I call this installation “The Cat of Amontillado.”
#cats#cat#my cat#the cask of amontillado#the cat of amontillado#she’s just vibing in her walled-off chamber#Willow#not trek#sorry for the non-trek cat pics but in my defense she is the specialest little baby
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Odysseus: "Mercy? Mercy!? My mercy has long since drowned, it died to bring me home, and as long as you're around, my family's fate is left unknown-"
Odysseus 15 minutes later: "Penelope would you still love me if I was a worm?🥺👉🏻👈🏻"
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"Anything caught your eye?"
#ngl balor really grew on me somehow#can't wait for his other heart events - I need to know more#matched the composition with my march drawing cus I might wanna do a series with the marriage candidates#already strayed off by adding a cast shadow LOL#idk it really fitted the whole vibe#rambling#fields of mistria#fom balor#o0kawaii0o
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I think something a lot of other people can relate to is the way that you get so conditioned to discomfort that you stop registering it.
I remember sitting at the table with my family, eating dinner as a child. I’d try to eat, because of course I was hungry. But sometimes the flavor or texture was so repugnant that it moved into a category of Not Food.
“Two more bites before you can leave the table.”
“I can’t,” I’d say, trying to explain the impossibility.
But because I was a child they heard, “I won’t,” and made me sit at the table. I’d sit in dull agonized silence, bored and hungry for hours until bedtime when they’d give up. I’d hate myself for not eating and my parents for forcing me to sit there. The few forcefeeding moments ended in vomit.
They’d say, “If you don’t eat this you can’t eat a snack later,” and I moved past trying to communicate my discomfort into accepting that I’d just be hungry.
That state of affairs didn’t last, because my parents realized nothing could force me to eat so they catered to my palate, worrying they’d starve me. But the message stuck. If you can’t do anything about a situation, just accept the suffering.
A few years later my mother called me off the playground to ask, “Are you limping?”
I shrugged. My feet had hurt for a long time, but that was just the way things were now. My mom pulled my socks and shoes off and gasped. The soles of my feet were covered in huge painful planters warts.
“Why didn’t you say anything?!” She demanded but I could only shrug at her. I’d learned a long time ago that saying things about my discomfort didn’t matter, so now I had no words. Sometimes things hurt and sometimes they don’t. I simply accepted and did my best.
Now as an adult trying to learn to improve my own conditions can be hard. If I make food that I can’t eat I’ll force myself to sit at the counter still, full of guilt and self loathing, trying to will myself to eat it.
At first I needed my betrothed to gently take it away to present me with something I could eat. Now on my own I can usually admit that it’s not happening before too long and get something else, but I still feel guilty.
Laying in bed at night waiting for my betrothed to finish getting ready I let out a huge sigh of relief when they turned the lights off.
“Why didn’t you turn them off if they bothered you?” they asked the first time it happened.
“I didn’t even know it was bothering me until it was gone.”
Assessing my physical state now to see if I can improve it is something I’m still relearning but I’m relieved to finally have the space and support to do it.
#ramblies#autism#as an afab kid I didn’t get diagnosed but given my poor social skills and general vibes it’s astonishing I wasn’t#I didn’t learn to implement social masking until way later#also those warts too months to get rid of cause they were too big to burn off#they had to be scraped down slowly after baths#vomiting
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Just stumbled across the Pokémon teams I made with my partner for all 10 of the strawhat pirates. Took like 3 hours and several bottles of wine. maybe I’ll draw them when I have the time?
#genuinely so fucking fun especially since he’s super into Pokémon and proper team building I was choosing off vibes alone#chatter
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"jason is a knockoff watered down percy" NO hear me out, jason actually parallels annabeth immensely, sharing SO many similarities with her personality, not percy, in this essay I will-
edit: my full analysis is out now! here
#just adding that I think jason and annabeth are similar BUT they are SEPARATE characters with separate personalities ❗❗#and i don't think jason is anyone's knockoff!! so don't misunderstand me guys!#trust me ik how it feels like to have jason getting mischaracterized so I would never do that!#when I read about jason the first time I'm like wow he's gentler but similar to annabeth chase wow he could be her twin#they are both genuinely interested in learning stuff. they both mansplain and geek. they are both misunderstood as conceding when they do#they love getting involved in debates and discussions. they both have designed temples assigned to them by the gods themselves#they are both seen as 'scary and intimidating' when they're just softies who need love. they are both overthinkers with too many plans#they are both soft for ppl w silly humor. they both kinda give off an untrustworthy vibe at first bc they know too much info#they are both also pretty suspicious and don't trust immediately. they both love architecture. they both have a 'cold icy' stare#also they're both TALL#I could keep going on and on for ages actually#pjo#pjo fandom#percy jackson#jason grace#pjo series#pjo hoo toa#pjo hoo#annabeth chase
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it’s a joke, or is it?
#2014 tumblr girl#2025#moodboard#bring back 2014#the virgin suicides#this is what makes us girls#the vibe i bring to the function#this is a girlblog#girlblogging#girl interrupted#manic pixie dream girl#girl interupted syndrome#girlhood#female rage#female hysteria#female manipulator#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#girl blogger#femcel#lana del rey#lizzy grant#angelic#coquette#bambi girl#2014 grunge#lisa rowe#emma roberts#american horror story#model off duty#girl problems
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can't believe that skeleman has turned on us, and Halloween Prom is tomorrow.
(what a top-tier UM...we are about to be just totally obliterated in the absolute silliest way. what possible use could this power have outside of bringing us to the brink of utter holiday disaster.)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#unique magic posters#this was so unforseeable!#i hope malleus gets pumpkinified immediately and sebek has to carry him around on a little velvet cushion#i hope jade puts his plant knowledge to good use by being extremely judgy about the firmness of everyone's rind#i hope that everyone is still wearing their silly little hats as pumpkins#(i know they won't. but if we don't have hope we have nothing.)#and i'm still feeling like oogie's gotta show up later and menace jamil just by existing#perhaps we'll have to team up against him with the scullsman or something 👀#also just to get it out before being proven entirely wrong#my theory is still that he's from the past and we gotta teach him about the True Meaning of Halloween (aka candy and funtimes)#so he can go back to his own time and become the founder of modern-day candy and funtimes halloween or something#bootstrap paradox be damned#i could be entirely off-base but that's what i'm thinking right now#idk he just has the vibe of an old-timey boy to me#he's had the great misfortune of being born before there were hot topics where he could meet other jack skellington fanatics#too late for the black plague too early for the black parade 😔
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I know I'm a broken record at this point about how functionally useless editing software has become since AI integration (read: corrections are now being suggested based on user input, not actual grammar rules), but there's nothing quite like a piece of writing software flagging something you've written as an error, and then when you click on it, it can't tell you what the error is.
Just that it thinks something is wrong.
It's like the writing equivalent of the "you better watch out!" meme.
Watch our for what? Nobody knows, but you better watch out!
#this time it's Word's native editor flagging Vlad's name as incorrect#not that it's spelled wrong#just that it's 'incorrect'#how is it incorrect?#it cannot tell me#the vibes are apparently just off#the vibes are wrong#but that's not stopping Word from yelling about it
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rip "we drowned in a bathtub." "all three of you?" scene. gone but not forgotten.
#THEY SHOULD HAVE KEPT THAT IN IT MADE THEM FEEL MORE LIKE KIDS WHO HAD THOUGHT NOTHING THROUGH AND WERE DOING THINGS OFF OF THE VIBES#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#pjo#pjo disney#pjo tv series#pjo tv#pjo tv show#pjo tv adaptation
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Oh, baby, have you seen Amy tonight? 🔪
#terrifier art the clown#terrifier movie#art the clown#art#artists on tumblr#please don't ask me to explain why there is a britney song lol. it just the vibe#scene. he seeking for a girl name Amy. just wanna go to the party she gon' go. can't get her off his brain.#yes that's the story write that down 🚬🚬🚬#miss drawing this fucker in his jester fit . it's fun
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Mike and FNAF into the pit Jeff are the same guy…
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#fnaf movie#mike schmidt#fnaf jeff#abby schmidt#fnaf oswald#into the pit#They are the same guy your honour#same genre of man you gotta believe me#WHEN I first drew Jeff people immediately compared him to Mike#I SORTA GET IT TOO#they might not look IDENTICAL or anything#but the VIBES the AURA is the same between them#big soaking wet cat energy coming off of em#Mike probably wouldn’t see the resemblance#but the kids can definitely clock it#they know they match 🙏🏾
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Fake, facsimile, forgery.
#jentry chau vs the underworld#jentry chau vs the underworld spoilers#jentry chau#jcvtu#kit#HEEHEE. I LIKE THIS SHOW#willow draws#put a surprising amount of effort into the pose symbolism on this one#his human form is ashamed and tries to hide his true form's face. but this makes him unable to see the soul he already has#his true form cradles his human form like it's the only thing that matters#which sorta gives off the vibe that they're scared of the soul. of what it would mean to have it and face the same rejection#that misery sorta spinning itself around into a twisted sense of single-minded self-preservation#because at least if what's wrong with him is something external it's something that can be 'fixed' etc etc#um haha anyways what were we talking about?
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I'm absolutely losing my mind seeing "We need to not treat men and masculinity as inherently evil and worthy of hatred, and not fall back into biological and gender essentialism because that hurts everyone, including trans women" being misinterpreted as "Women need to stop oppressing men", "I think trans women are actually men" or "You specifically who have trauma around men need to get over it because men are the real victims". It's so willfully disingenuous. It makes me sick how willing people are to read in bad faith, especially how willing other trans women are to suddenly start harassing and dogpiling another trans woman.
I am a trans woman too, I understand what it's like to feel unsafe, but it helps no one this cynical attitude that crops up every time someone suggests being kind to men in our lives. "You could save a man you know from falling down the alt-right pipeline" is not the same as "It's your fault that men murder you". "There are people who could be on our side if we don't meet them with immediate hostility" is not the same as "You need to shut up and stop criticizing power structures for the sake of your oppressors' feelings" (I promise there are a lot of people who can be taught about their complicity in oppression without immediately shutting down but you need to work with them). This kind of attitude isn't somehow more informed or correct. It's just lashing out to avoid considering one's own agency.
Making a better, safer world for ourselves requires all kinds of work, but it's always work. It's hard to try to reach out to people who could very realistically harm us, it's work that not all of us can afford to or are able to do and that's fine because we're all just trying to survive. But some of you would rather condescend, tear each other down, and make more enemies before even considering it a possibility.
#Don't expect anymore discourse posts from me I left that life behind long time ago#I don't like to engage in discourse and I do apologize but man#“biological essentialism is bad” is not a new take#Fuck off with calling it “vibes-based” politics#absolutely rotten#If I have to see “haha nooo your so sexy don't reblog the x post” one more time I'm gonna vomit because it's always the most rancid people#whose politics revolve around being as bitter as possible and refusing to do anything#couching a refusal to do anything in leftist language and ideology#More to the point I feel like too many people interpret “you can do something to make things better” as “it's your fault things are so shit#shark rambles
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