#the trauma is FOLLOWING him.
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I think an underrated angle on 2x05 is something that either Jacob or Assad said in some interview somewhere, which is that in that episode Louis is addicted to heroin. Thats why he has that whole stash of drugs that he gives to Daniel, that's why he gives Daniel the drugs even though he's already got him alone. He didn't just use those 128 boys for sex he was using them to get high. Bring them home, get them to shoot up, and then drain them to get that secondhand high.
It clarifies something that's always confused me about that scene, which is why Armand saves Daniel the first time. He wouldn't save Daniel as a person, he clearly knows Daniel needs to die, but he's not seeing Daniel as a person there. Daniel is just a substance. He rips him away from Louis to stop him from using.
And i think that adds a whole other layer to the fight he and Armand have to think that this is Louis on a bender, with Armand cleaning up after him because he's not stable enough to. Louis in the bed for a week isn't just healing from the burns, he's going through withdrawal. Him at the table with Daniel giving him the "bright young reporter" speech is probably the first time he's been sober in months.
It adds another layer to Armand's desperation, that Louis has been running from both Armand and himself in this way, and of course Armand wants to erase that memory. Of course he wants to pretend that that fight never happened. Not just to protect himself but in a way to protect Louis from having said those things. When he describes the fight to Louis afterwards, he says "you said the worst things you've ever said to me." And he doesn't really know how to forgive Louis for that so he just wants to bury this rock-bottom moment and move on like it never happened. After all, Louis was high, he didn't really mean it, but if he remembers then maybe he might think that he had a point. Better to wipe the whole experience away.
#imagine youre in an eternal spite marriage with your ex who you're in love with because he's in love with your other ex#who youre also in love with#and your spitehusband who hates you turns to drugs to cope with the traumatic death of his daughter (which you caused but who's counting)#and you just follow him around cleaning up his messes and propping him up and keeping him alive#because despite everything you do love him#and you find him mid bender and he's told his life story to a reporter and he didn't even mention you#and you're just trying to protect him from himself so he doesn't pass out in a pool of blood on the floor#and he tells you that you're a burden#that youre the thing thats killing him#that 10 hours with a stranger made him feel more alive than your whole relationship#and he says that youre BORING#that all your trauma and grief and fear made you UNINTERESTING#yeah id do some saw trap shit too#blorboposting#benni proof#interview with the vampire#loumand#iwtv
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sorry
#to all the people followed me not knowing what resident evil is#im sorry but the guy u guys think has a happy ending where everyone loves him dies 3 times#like actually#he dies on 3 different occasions#and all his loved ones betray his trust#then he dies permenatly and is trapped in a purgatory full of his traumas and the people who previously tried to kill him
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Curly not immediately punishing Jimmy for assaulting Anya is something I don’t think a lot of people are viewing in the complex context for Curly as the superior to both of them and closest confidante they had.
Like I am in no way saying he didn’t under react or fail Anya by not being harsh or direct with Jimmy but it really is the case that he really couldn’t. Imagine being stuck in such a confined space with very little areas to genuinely hold someone if they commit a crime. It’s not like this was an event that occurred before they departed or that they have easy communication with The Pony Express to ask for how to proceed when something like this arises. Not to mention, Jimmy’s relative power in relation to Anya as the co-pilot and second in command, he has the knowledge and access to do something to her had Curly directly punished him in this setting.
They were also Curly’s friends. It’s not just the case of him mediating something between his subordinates but people he is personally invested in don’t want to see spiral further in Anya’s case while also not wanting believe his friend go that bad in Jimmy’s actions. They were both suicidal and Curly putting Jimmy’s stability first is both out of bias but also the fact he’s aware at some level Jimmy is a danger to himself and others if not constantly placated. Combined with the fact he was in denial or just not piecing together what Anya said it’s hard to say what he buying time for and what he had treat as urgent. This isn’t even saying he doesn’t care about Anya but he’s not going jump to the worst conclusions about his friends even if part of him acknowledges the evidence saying so. It’s a complicated thing but he’s still human and needed to process it on top of trying to keep a ship that already took on a lot of water from further sinking, metaphorically.
I just personally think that while Curly failed Anya, it was a scenario where there wasn’t much he could do to the best thing by her safely and like Jimmy, we are underestimating what a good leader would do in a very fragile and tense situation like he was in. By the time he may have been ready and had a plan, things were much too late.
#like in my one Anya still respected Curly after he didn’t punish Jimmy so I assume he still respected her or reassured her he’d do something#it just was never enough because sadly Jimmy just needed to be removed from the ship and that’s not possible#cause no matter what Jimmy was going to do something stupid to fix it and Curly had to be thinking of a way to avoid that but also trying to#play the subjective role of friend and objective role of captain with two of the people he is currently closest with#not to mention how he’s a big picture guy and it’s not an excuse but those little detail and subtle behaviors are probably lost if the big#picture looks fine still and he admits he’d drive himself crazy trying to look for it#like weirdly Curlys character is only seen through the people he tried to protect and we judge him on his failures but we don’t get too much#on his insights directly as Jimmy is unreliable and he tries hard to be gentle with Anya#personal note is I don’t think Curly underplaying Anya’s trauma is a guy code protecting my bud thing but more a flaw in his personal#character in where he just wants everything and everyone to be ok in the end and taking responsibility that isn’t his to bare like he can’t#make up for what Jimmy did but he tried and that’s the problem really cause he’s just used to actually fixing it for him and it’s the case#this is the one thing he really couldn’t like I think he’s a good guy but he’s trapped in his and a bunch of other peoples worse moments#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#jimmy mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse Anya#mouthwashing spoilers#rape tw#suicide tw#also last thought is how he like also was being emotionally drained by Jimmy constantly like Anya and his relationship with Jimmy parallel#each other in such a way that both him and Anya warily follow the words of the others abuser because they fear the physical or emotional#repercussions if they don’t like her not being able to really tell curly what happened and then curly not being able to do the same and how#jimmy assaults and dehumanizes both when they are no longer a service to him like god they are more adjacent than Jimmy and Curly like Curly#messed up in a already messy pile Jimmy mad it into a dumpster fire in a landfill they are not the same
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Something that’s always missing whenever people talk about Lyanna and the Kingsguard at the Tower of Joy is that these things should always circle back to Jon Snow. He’s our main character here. Rhaegar and Lyanna, as well as the Kingsguard, are all dead. They were dead before this story began. This tiny section of text is meant to give color to Jon — who is alive, and whose story is currently unfolding. The events at the Tower of Joy, told entirely through Ned’s fever dream for a reason, essentially serve as one thing: fantasy protagonist myth building 101. Three wise men, a legendary magical sword, some of the greatest knights of an era, a dying queen lady, the end of an age, a dead prince, a dead king, and then here comes a soon to be completely orphaned prince whose life hangs on the balance and whose survival depends on the compassion of one lord and his wizard friend. GRRM is literally retelling King Arthur’s backstory through Jon. This whole thing is one giant literary allusion to Uther and Igraine and the boy king Arthur, to Lancelot and his Joyous Guard, to Guinevere, and to tragic romances. It reads as an ode to Arthurian fantasy and is meant to backdrop the main protagonist’s fantastical origins. The Kingsguard are there to play into that. Their presence at the Tower, in that moment, was never about Lyanna; not solely, anyway. Their presence is tied to Rhaegar’s last surviving male child, and the language used suggests that they had chosen their king, for better or worse. Any discussion surrounding the Kingsguard’s presence at the Tower that focuses on anyone but Jon completely misses the point imo.
#idk yall im just a lil annoyed rn lmaooo#I feel like there are a lot of readings and arguments that have nothing to do with the actual purpose of the text#just people straight up ignoring what’s already in the text and then imposing their own reading#like ned’s fever dream speaks to his trauma fr but like a big main takeaway is:#oh the kg literally have a million other places to be and a million other things to do so why are they here in particular?#why have they remained here of all places??#oh they are doing their duty as they see it….which is to guard the king…..who is now baby jon like?????#it’s almost spelled out for us in the text why do yall have to create new cannon about evil kingsguard following evil rhaegar??#asoiaf#jon snow#lyanna stark#the tower of joy#valyrianscrolls#“the kingsguard were evil for keeping lya from her brother!111”#hmmmm neddard i agot — lyanna was scared shitless until ned made his promises#I wonder why she’d be scared? I wonder if anything happened recently to rhaegar’s children to make her scared?#no she was definitely scared of the kingsguard there 🙃#I do want to say too that this is a world where brother and sister go to war (dance of the dragons)#or brother vs brother (stannis vs renly) among other examples of familial conflicts#ned fought and won a war for robert whose rule was solidified in the targ heirs’ blood#him being lya’s brother at that moment doesn’t mean shit
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whenever i say that a character needs therapy and healing before they start a relationship, people jump at my throat and assume that i'm saying that people with mental health issues shouldn't date at all or that they're not deserving of love.
folks. i have bipolar type 2. i'm also a psychology major. trust me when i say that i never said people with mental health issues shouldn't date at all.
i just think that it's a lot healthier to get into a committed relationship once you've started therapy and/or medication. no one is stopping you from getting into a relationship before that, but there is a higher chance of the relationship turning unhealthy and/or complicated. not just for your partner but for yourself as well.
and there are other relationships that people can and should focus on. i would never recommend an individual completely isolate themselves because they're mentally ill. that's the opposite of effective, it will only worsen your mental health.
romantic relationships aren't the only form of love. and when a person focuses solely on their romantic relationship, pushing aside their familial and platonic relationships, there's a higher chance of the person becoming overly dependent on their partner, which can again be unhealthy.
and keep in mind, my criticism is also more from a fictional perspective. stories that ignore a character's trauma and just give them a romantic partner aren't trying to tell you that people with mental health issues deserve love too, they're trying to brush the character's trauma under the rug and hoping that you won't notice.
a lot of these writers seem to genuinely think that romance will “cure” a character, and that's such a harmful mindset because it discourages people from seeking professional help. it's the same logic as thinking that birthing a child will solve relationship problems between a couple - that's just not how it works.
and in cases like catra, it's even worse because catra is not just dating anyone, she's dating the same person she has abused since childhood. this is destructive for both of them, not just adora. we have to realize that toxicity often stems from some kind of trauma (though not always) and it's not ableist to say that an abuser shouldn't be dating their victim.
one good example of a relationship involving a victim of trauma, in my opinion, is steven and connie from steven universe.
steven universe future focuses entirely on steven's deteriorating mental health, caused by all the trauma he endured in the original series. but in the end, after experiencing a mental breakdown, he actually seeks professional help before beginning to date connie.
it must also be mentioned that their relationship had great development since their friendship was already quite healthy and mutually supportive, and connie has been with steven through all his highs and lows. and so, it doesn't feel like this relationship came out of nowhere, just so that steven gets a happy ending.
it's a satisfying conclusion to both of their arcs and even better because they're allowed to stay away from each other and pursue their own goals while still being in a relationship, meaning that there won't be the risk of them becoming codependent.
this is all that i'm asking writers do with their characters with mental health issues/trauma. you can give them a romantic partner, just make sure you address their personal problems too, instead of brushing them under the rug.
#i need to highlight that steven proposing to connie before all this was a sign of him slowly becoming too dependent on her#and the story acknowledges this and tells us that it's wrong#apart from the fact that they're both teenagers and not the age for marriage#the story makes it clear that this relationship will NOT end well if steven follows connie wherever she goes#it will just turn into garnet 2.0 where ruby and sapphire were codependent for the longest time before realizing how unhealthy it was#media critique#media criticism#media critical#media discourse#spop salt#toh salt#arcane salt#steven universe#steven universe future#stevonnie#connverse#tw mental health#tw mental illness#tw trauma
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the world's least normal trio of ambition protagonists
#putting them all together like this really highlights how much of a weird little freak the scoundrel is. lol#i do have a design in mind for unmasked lark but it's way funnier to keep the bird skull on him for now. he's just a little guy 0^0#i swear one day my BaL protagonist will follow normal victorian clothing conventions. mostly. give or take a healthy dose of apocyan#yin art#fallen london#the scoundrel is actually so real. i too go uwu 💕 when thinking of the minecraft bat sprite#anyway. meet lark!!! isnt he normal!!!!!!!!#he is (alas) blonde but that's okay. there's still time to put him through enough trauma to make him pull a caeru and involuntarily fix that
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Honestly, of all the companions, I think if you wanted to take your SS down a gritty, horror route in the sense that they're kind of an evil bastard, Danse is the easiest person to completely fuck up because his morals are entirely dependent on who he respects. Preston would never compromise his values. Nick wouldn't. All the other companions are so stalwart in their views that it would take some MEGA fucked shit to get them to change, and most of them, they wouldn't just roll over.
Danse absolutely would as long as you lined your goals close enough to his, earned his trust and admiration, got some authority or emotional leverage, and then started the veer-off slowly. If SS was a smooth talker who liked people insecure and codependent on them, Danse would be hanging off their leg. This is all post BB but even prior, he's not as rigid in his values as he wants to be. Danse seeks community and justice, he wants to be a good person and do right. If he's told that means eradicating mutants and that he'll have family while doing so—see what I mean? All it would take is one person who climbs farther than he ever could on that righteous ladder, who is then kind enough to spare him—and then icy enough to use that guilt and gratitude as bargaining, likely without Danse even realizing it.
What I'm saying is that Danse could easily be the victim of a psychological thriller and have his brain chopped and screwed in ways previously unknown to man
#this is about 10 minutes before my bedtime so forgive anything exaggerated#i am not interested in logic#i am thinking of danse being trained to kneel and roll over and doing so without question#because being a good boy is the only good thing about him (he is being emotionally abused and manipulated)#(ss is using his trauma and insecurity as a leash and drags him around making him commit atrocities)#(because he feels so obligated to them and they know what theyre doing and he doenst. so he follows their lead)
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found my first ever tango art the other day and it made me a little nostalgic ;-;
#this is following the trend of showing ocs before and after the trauma. but there is no trauma here just me making tango more pink#i was drawing him pale as a damn ghost. sorry tango of the past#the drawing on the left is referenced from my first ever ranchers art with all the colours picked directly from it#and that first ever thing was made in june 2022#and here i am. still ranchers obsessed now#juno.art#tangotek#tangotek fanart#trafficblr#traffic series
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more doujin-inspired ranson doodles (the spicy half this is up on my sideblog btw and also here 👀)
#ive been having so many Thoughts about them and the ways that randy would force benson to confront trauma like he did for him#is it so wrong if i think randy likes it rough and benson cant handle it sometimes??#anyway happy new year- and if u Do wanna see my spicy stuff u should follow there bc i probs wont be putting it in any main tags#the passenger#the passenger fanart#the passenger 2023#benson x randy#randy bradley#benson the passenger#ranson#olly art
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"When's the last time you missed, Barbara?"
Batman: Three Jokers (2020)
Written by Geoff Johns, art by Jason Fabok and Brad Anderson
#when i tell you i was GAGGED#jason is such a bitch i love him#i said i was gonna post this yesterday but i was too busy but what i've said in the other post i made about this was#three jokers was shit but it's genuinely one of my favorite pieces of writing involving jason and his trauma and how he copes#especially versus barbara and how SHE copes with everything that happened#(then it all webt down the drain with the kiss and everything that followed but my point still stands)#batman: three jokers#red hood#jason todd#robin ii#barbara gordon#batgirl#oracle#joker#batman#batfam
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okay ill bite why do u hate kaoru sakuraba sidem aside from the fact that they went from hokuto as a main blue to downgrade to kaoru. to make it less awkward that I’m asking abt sidem on ur osomatsu side blog, what sidem idols would u assign to each matsu ?
i think sideM should collab w osomatsu-san and put them all in Beit so they can all get JOBS!!!!!!
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anyways i hate kaoru from idolmaster sideM. i need all my osomatsu-san side blog followers to know that i hate this man. "i need a lot of money fast to pursue an extremely niche medical research track, which is why i quit my stable and high paying job as a surgeon to become an idol while having no soft skills, physical strength or stamina, or interest in getting along with people" are you Stupid??
he's not even using his idol clout to spread awareness of the rare disease he's trying to cure (like SEM does) so it can secure funding, he sees it 100% as a job and refuses to have fun, he is actively unpleasant and uncooperative in every interaction with his coworkers because he's trying to "rise to the top". it seems like the only thing he has going for him are his looks and that he kind of liked to sing when he was a kid. why not become a model at that point when you have the personality of a wet tree trunk. or better yet why not STAY A FUCKING DOCTOR!!!!!
also, i don't like meganes, so write that down.
#context for oomfiematsus: idolmaster sideM's gimmick is that all the idols were other things before becoming idols#Beit is the unit whose gimmick is that all their members have part time jobs (baito)#others are like. lawyer -> idol; pilot -> idol; pianist -> idol; rakugoka -> idol; etc#finding out the backstories/previous lives of these idols is like the main appeal of this branch#a lot of times it's like trauma and stuff that causes them to switch careers. like there's a pair of twins who were former soccer pros#but one suffers a career-ending injury and it's sad. and theyre like well we were pretty good at PR and stuff though so let's be idols#(the other twin follows him because yknow twinsies <3 cant be apart)#and this guy is in the main unit so you meet him and he's just a fucking dick the whole time and he just seems to fucking hate being an ido#so the whole time youre like what's this guy's deal#(note i experienced this through the anime cuz all the games are EOS lol)#and then like 3/4ths into the anime in you finally get his backstory#and it's that his sister died of a very rare disease so he needs money to fund research to find the cure but no one will fund it#but instead of staying a doctor he decides the best way to do this is to BECOME AN IDOL?!!!?!?#like sure i bet the top idols do make more than an average surgeon? but it's like do you want a .01% chance to make a $2 million salary#or an 100% chance to make a $300k salary BECAUSE YOURE ALREADY A SURGEON!!!!#and it'd be another thing if he was like. kinda having fun with it. kinda being jovial#like there's literally another guy in the teacher unit who became an idol for the exact same reason (heard it was lucrative)#but then after he finds out being an idol actually isnt all that much cash#so he just decides to have fun being an idol instead!!!!#this guy NEVER GETS THERE. he's always a SERIOUS RUDE STICK IN THE MUD who is NEVER FUN TO BE AROUND BECAUSE HE'S LIKE#I'm Here For Work. I'm Here To Be The Best Idol. I Don't Want To Make Friends#LIKE GET REEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL DUDE YOUR COWORKERS ARE 10 YEAR OLDS IN ANIMAL COSTUMES AND 30 YEAR OLD MEN IN PINK TIGHTS.#anyways everyone likes him i guess he's supposed to be the “cold guy eventually opens his heart” kind of guy but he has always just come of#as very annoying to me. and also DUMB AS FUCK i cannot stress enough how STUPID OF A CAREER CHOICE THIS WAS#so i cant take him seriously when they try to play him up as this cool all-knowing guy when he's the STUPIDEST PERSON AT THIS COMPANY#INCLUDING THE 9 YEAR OLDS
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Happy EDS awareness month!
I'm a webcomic artist with EDS. be aware.
EDS affects many parts of my life. I have chronic fatigue, chronic pain, and I need to use a cane! I often find myself ruminating on themes of chronic illness in my work, whether or not I am intending to include them.
I already can't paint anymore, it hurts my hands too much... Anything that requires small details or precise motions will hurt me for days. I have a lot of grief around it. But working digitally allows me to still create!
I animate, I illustrate, I get to tell my stories. I have to go slow, take huge breaks (often against my will) and recover slowly. But, working in this space allows me the grace to do this.
So, I just wanted to share a bit of my experience with my audience, and say thank you for reading my work and supporting me! It means the world to me, and I hope maybe someone in my audience feels a little more seen through me sharing this. It causes me pain, but I love myself; and that includes my disability.
#I thought about putting my comic patreon and kofi links on here but it felt wrong#I really want this post to just be for my audience!#just so you can feel a little seen and just learn a little more about me#I am NOT inviting invasive questions#this is NOT opening the door to discussion on ways it affects my life#this is me sharing a limited glimpse into a part of my personal life#the real pain that this has caused me is shit like my bfs mom telling him to break up with me over it#and people calling me slurs and whatever#I mean obviously the pain itself too but#yeah.#I dont want to talk about that trauma to my thousands of followers in a way they can reblog it and share it around#so#this is all just for you guys#I love you!#thank you for being here#it's the only reason I'm able to create#is because of the support people give me.#well. I mean actually cause of the support webtoon is giving me tbh#I do NOT make enough to quit yet#but the support from my audience keeps me going and makes all the shittiness of my job worth it#it reminds me that creating stories is worth it all#the physical and emotional pain!#so thank you for keeping me motivated and going
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dave who learned imitation as a survival method....... dave getting into turntables and music mixing bc thats the one thing he can do with his bro without getting stressed out, getting into swords and ‘cool guy’ things bc when he acts like his bro and impresses him he gets hurt less, learning to act dry and emotionally disconnected from john bc john is well liked among his friends (and he likes john, too), learning to psychoanalyze by imitating rose because rose will back off if he manages to pick at one of HER sore spots for once....... dave realizing he doesnt want to be that person anymore on the meteor but not having any other method of becoming well-liked. dave imitating romcom protagonists to get karkat’s attention, becoming more and more grumpy and animated and dramatic bc of all the time he’s spent around karkat, dave’s dry humor getting more and more developed as he spends more time with rose and kanaya. dave who has a crisis (at least in another timeline) because at age sixteen he’s standing in his childhood bedroom and surrounded by interests he hasn’t pursued in years and sobbing because he doesn’t know who he is without trying to make someone like him. he doesn’t know which interests, if any, were ones he would have had if he’d grown up with a guardian that didn’t hate him, if the world hadn’t ended and if he wasn’t one of the sole survivors dedicating his childhood to creating a new universe, if he’d just been a normal kid.
dave, age sixteen, who has no idea who he is or what he wants from life.
(https://www.homestuck.com/story/6306)
#it me#homestuck#dave strider#davekat#to an extent lol#that page--and like four or five following it--make me ugly cry ngl#its like. sixteen year olds have this whole thing about not knowing who they are or what they wanna do ANYWAY#but its much much worse for dave bc of all the trauma#its soooo hard to write him in aus bc like!!!! he's so traumatized in canon!!!#he might have been totally different if hed gotten a happy childhood!!!!!#frankly even the difference between game over timeline and retcon timeline dave is SHOCKING#game over dave is still soo clearly guarded and tense; retcon dave isnt exactly RELAXED but he seems a lot happier#enough that its a stark difference when he finally talks to dirk while still having that convo feel v similar to much earlier dave convos#anyway. love him........
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So... "The Importance of Being Earnest" is getting 5 stars reviews and I'm so proud of our boy right now...
And I've just discovered the Cineplex that's 3km from home will be playing it on February 20th and you can already start buying tickets!
Now, I know what I'll be doing on February 20th! It's going to be a very gay, fun, and colorful evening!
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#Hugh Skinner#The Importance of Being Earnest#Get yourself a man that looks at you the way#Ncuti Gatwa#looks at Hugh in that play...#Especially in the picture where he's holding his pink trail for him...#The only actor that#Joey Batey#said was able to make his#Jaskier#laugh when he was auditioning as#Radovid#Hugh can really take you to emotional extremes can't he?#He'll go from pure silly lighthearted comedy to downright heartwrenching trauma#My Posts#Not my pictures nor review please follow link for source
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Thinking about Sam and how central autonomy and violation is to his character. How many times and ways he had his choice taken away throughout the series. All the things we don’t know about his time with Lucifer, but are also so heavily implied that we do.
Imagining he eventually gets out of The Life and becomes a victim’s advocate. He ultimately decides not to try and pursue law school at this stage in his life—it’s been so long and so much has changed—but finishes his bachelor’s and pursues a master’s in social work. He never expected to end up here: the boy with the demon blood, no longer living out some doomed and twisted fate, helping people. He’s passionate about representing those made most vulnerable and unsafe in their own skin, supporting others as they come out the other side survivors, lending the compassion he’s always struggled to have for himself. Every time he listens to someone else’s story, helps connect them to resources, advocates for their case, he heals a little bit too.
#just thinking my little thoughts#sam winchester#supernatural#bodily autonomy#tw sa implied#cw sa implied#idk the best way to tag this?? just vague passing thoughts but I don’t want to trigger anyone so#sam posting#i just think it would be a fitting job for him#one of many great options#but i think he would find this fulfilling. and depending on why you think he was pre-law it would give him similar space to represent people#even if not in a court room#though who knows what type of law he planned to practice#I really think the show dropped the ball on exploring this particular facet of Sam’s trauma#they kept hitting the nail on the head with the autonomy theme and it *being the trauma*#but not enough follow through on Sam’s emotional damage���️ aside from tasty morsels here and there#sammy#<- for my own tagging system
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no i dont think i will stop thinking about benji from hfwu .. benji whos father his number 1 supporter was shot in front of him at the beginning of the book his blood splattered on his face buried under his nails forever ingrained into the ridges of his fingerprints benji who loved so fiercely it was dangerous so much so that he forgave the boy who hurt him so quickly and it cost him almost everything BEEENJIII who felt different for so long and who ended up associating that feeling with being monstrous after he was injected with seraph BENJI. who just wanted to be a boy that loved boys. who was only a teen when the world fell apart and chained him down, benji who had religion and trauma whispering in his ear bite your tongue and do as you are told for He will never forgive you if you follow your heart — benji who was never even sure who He was, if heaven and hell and everything his life revolved around for so long even existed ..
i love him
#hfwu#benji woodside#benji hfwu#hell followed with us#lgbtq#rant#silly thoughts#religious trauma#him!!#i love breaking down his character actually#cannot wait for AJW’s next book!#more fanart comin soon ..
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