#the top was the worst by far

[forkpigeon3146]

saw a pretty outfit and had to draw my dnd character in it (or atleast an outfit inspired by it lol)

colours may look a little different if you dont use the nightlight option on your device but yeah!! (closeups and ref below cut :3)

and the ref! (creds to whoever this is, i got this screenshot off of a tiktok video about a month ago when i started this so im not too sure who they are, but a very gorgeous person and outfit !!)

[occidentaltourist]

bbc: Some sweet #Silvacre content for your FYP ❤️

[exdeputysonso]

Brad Dourif as The Dark One | The Boneyard Collection (2008)

[mokutone]

your art makes me wanna start testosterone

i can't read tone well, so this is either an incredibly touching ask, or an extremely funny one, and in the absence of confirmation: both!

i'm in a chatty mood, so i'll share some thoughts about testosterone and my art.

i liked being on testosterone a lot. i had an IM injection every two weeks (on tuesdays!) and because that's a sizeable dose every 14 days that slowly disperses, it can cause some mood fluctuations (every other friday i would have a crisis about not feeling like the world had a place for me in it) but even those were far more manageable than the ones that would come with my previous and current monthly hormone cycle (every month i spend a solid week thinking the world will never have a place for me in it)

It gave me a patchy little bit of scruff on my chin and a whispy mustache under my nose that still struggles on, despite adversity!

It redistributed my fat a little bit, but that's long since gone back to pre-T shape.

it lowered my voice! that hasn't changed :^)! even if i never go back on t, that won't change. it was the thing i most wanted, and its the one i'm most grateful for. Pre-T, I didn't speak much. I'm getting better and better at talking and getting more and more comfortable communicating with people because of it.

having been off t now for 3 years, i don't pass anymore—not as a cis man, or a cis woman, certainly not as anything approximating straight. if people look at me and see anything, i'd hazard a guess that they see me as A Queer (the noun—for all it's complicated connotations).

i'm not surprised that my art might make somebody want to start testosterone! a lot of my art was made out of the aching grief that came with being kicked off of testosterone, and how neatly that loss of autonomy over my own body knits in with yamato's loss of autonomy over his own.

how my body started doing things i disliked, how i didn't have the support necessary to access the healthcare i needed—how my inability to give myself what i needed made me feel as though i were trapped inside of myself and abandoned (by both myself and the world at large)

when i write comics about yamato as a trans man, i don't take away his testosterone, because that hits a little too close to home for me. for Ninja War Town Reasons, he has plenty of access to all the HRT he could ever need and nobody questions his need for it—instead, i project my own horrors onto the way Danzō defined his identity for him as a child, the way that Kabuto and Obito dehumanize him as an adult in their war efforts, and reduce him to the thing his body holds (the Mokuton). I give him a kneejerk compulsion to dehumanize himself (out of a feeling that he has a duty to his community to do so) and I give him a slow-growing resistance to that impulse (which comes out of a feeling that the people he loves would frown upon seeing him reduce himself like that)

it's dysphoria! it's not gender dysphoria, but it's a loss of self, and a need to reclaim it. it's a war between the hollow shell of a thing he thinks he has to be, and the vibrant and messy person beneath it that he is. it's a desperate need to say "this is who i am—only i can say it"

I enjoyed HRT a lot. it was a really useful tool in helping me feel like my body was my own, that i didn't have to fight it, that we were the same entity. It's not the only tool, but it was a really good one, and one day I hope to use it again.

(as for the being off of it—it's unpleasant, but i'm enduring! being somebody who now doesn't really pass as anything has put me in a weird and interesting position, where I'm constantly having to declare myself to people, because nobody knows what to make of me on any front. they don't know if i'm a man, a woman, nonbinary, nor even what age i am (Augh!!!!) it forces me to be brave and vulnerable more than I'm comfortable with—if I tell somebody I'm a man, there's no way that they will believe I'm cis, but I'm not about to recloset myself—and I don't think I could at this point anyway.)

(there's something fascinating about the position i find myself in, and while i'd leap back on t the moment that an opportunity presented itself to do so, i do feel like i'm experiencing something interesting and important in this weird zone i find myself in)

[pharaohbean]

college starts in 1.5hrs and ive already been screwed over by them

for context: the specific way i am doing college atm (its not officially college long story) is that the government/state/whatever pays for everything in my classes except science/language lab fees. this includes textbooks—however, they only pay for the cheapest option. so you have NO idea if you’ll get physical or digital. thats fine by me, i can work with both.

so, lo and behold, i go to find my two textbooks for today (both digital)— and yeah, no, not there.

WHAT HAS HAPPENED IS THAT:

The book they said they’d sent me for one class not only isn’t where they said it would be, but it straight up ISNT THE TEXTBOOK FOR THE CLASS. the textbook for this class is free online, which is also funny to me bc this teacher doesn’t allow electronics in the classroom. like buddy did you expect us to memorize the book wtf

The OTHER textbook they said they’d pay the subscription for for the semester (YES THE BOOK IS LOCKED BEHIND A SUBSCRIPTION THIS IS A CALCULUS CLASS.) is, in fact, not paid for. I have it, but it’s on a 2 week free trial. And you’re thinking, “Zerro, just pay for it!” ITS A HUNDRED AND THIRTY DOLLARS ARE YOU NUTS?! NOT WHEN THEYRE SUPPOSED TO PAY THAT!

So NOW, I have to figure out how they’re supposed to pay for the latter textbook (because the former is straight up wrong anyways) while also just straight up not knowing how these classes even WORK (the calc class… has discussion forums required. What The F—) and yeah college is going GREAT.

[arielluva]

so funny seeing a post on instagram thats about a sentence that would cause an argument in the monster high fandom and 90% of the comments are just people saying g3 sucks. like. guys. that is NOT an uncommon opinion, especially not on instagram. most monster high content i see on there has people hating on g3. so many people agree with you.

[nomairuins]

i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is

[moe-broey]

Being an Alfonse enjoyer is SO fucking funny bc one minute you're thinking "Shit this guy can actually be scary if you fucking think about it like he's so fucked up actually" and the next he's. Being dragged along by his little sister and her antics AND he's being a good sport about it. Like he clearly doesn't want to be here but he's not gonna complain. He's going to put his heart into it actually. Because Sharena is putting her whole heart into it!!!! And well. There has to be two of them (retainers). Duh. Obviously.

[morsking]

you'd think you'd never see something TV stupid like some idiot pretending to be a cop trying to barge into your living space in real life well guess what happened to me yesterday. lol.

[compacflt]

i'm so curious: what's your favorite thing you've written? something that makes you nod and go, "yeah, that's it right there. i did that." just the best combination of words you've ever churned out in your personal opinion. it makes you proud just Thinking about it. could be a sentence, a paragraph, etc.

very cute ask anon, thank you. im going to assume for your benefit that you mean specifically my icemav writing—obviously I write outside of top gun and am very proud of that stuff but it wouldn’t make sense out of context.

There’s a lot of more recent stuff that I’m extremely extremely proud of on a technical level, but I’m prouder of this paragraph below on a deeper more existential level.

This paragraph was one of the first parts of WWGATTAI i ever wrote—august 12, i think, well before I had fully realized the characters’ voices or their attitudes towards life/each other; I only had about 5k written of what is now a 300k+ project (at the time of writing this paragraph i wanted it to be 10k max) and had no real outline, didn’t know who or what I was dealing with, hadnt seen TGM in two months, had done no research (so it’s not at all politically/militarily accurate or anything, why the FUCK is ice going to fucking GUAM)—and STILL this wound up being my favorite paragraph in the entire fucking series. not to suck my own dick or anything. I’m STILL so proud of this paragraph, 9 months and 275k+ words later, even though i Absolutely Would Not write it this way now.

[etapereine]

.

[mirananananan]

little life update/rant below :)

i feel like i've been so inactive lately which makes me big sad, but when i say i have not had the time, i'm being so serious. yesterday i literally woke up, went into work an hour early, stayed after for almost 2 hours, went home, made dinner, and immediately sat down to work on a grad school assignment and then had to work for another hour before i went to bed. then i woke up this morning and did it all again. it just feels like that's how my days look more and more recently, and it's been really hard tbh. it's demoralizing and just sad to work all day and still wake up the next day wishing i had done more, still with a mile long to do list, and knowing that it's just going to keep being this way for at least the next couple weeks.

anyways all of this is to say that i'm just both really grateful for and sorry to all my mutuals who have continued to tag me in things and stuff in the past couple weeks :) it may sound weird or dumb, but if i'm being honest i have SERIOUS fandom fomo right now, and, even though i haven't really had time recently, it's been nice to not feel like lost in the shuffle or forgotten (i told u it was going to sound weird).

being on tumblr/in fandom has truly been the most incredible escape and been such a stress relief and source of happiness for me. i'm still very much here, just lurking and liking more because i'm conserving brain bandwidth as much as possible during the week!!!!

[flamagenitus]

Spent a half hour typing a speech about studying in the tags of a post 👍 I'm a normal person who's had a normal time in the academic system

[hikeyzz]

hit my highest recorded heart rate tonight let's goooooo (i just walked up stairs and nearly reached my max heart rate that's .... not good)

[xehabaldr]

Drinking the hard kind of copium juice mixed with pure wish fullfilment hoping we'll see all the Dark Road kids in Quadratum and everyone will be able to travel between it and the original KH-verse in the end, with extra fun of Xehanort and Eraqus having the memories of their lived out lifes but as if they're remembered through the lens of someone else. It probably doesn't make much sense but I don't care because I want to see them happy damnit.

And I think it'd be very funny. Like the awkward tension of teenager Xehanort hanging around all these people his asshole adult self has traumatised while he technically ranks among the people traumatised. Imagine living out another life knowing how terrible you can end up. Ventus, Terra, and Aqua coping with a teenage version of their master hanging around who'd really like to have a better relationship with them this time. Riku and Baldr being weird darkness-wielding buddies. New kiddos for the rest of the cast to become friends with (I think Vor and Kairi could be great pals, fearing change together : ]).

i've been thinking about dr characters in quadratum for months. years even. they would be perfecttttt for the "i died but now i'm here" situation quadratum has going on. i'm not personally that invested in seeing eraqus again but nomura's art of yx in quadratum has me on that hopium plus I feel like there are a couple really strong other candidates from the khdr cast. vidar in particular I think is a character who might actually have a chance. baldr is like, obviously I have to hope that baldr will be there (but i doubt he actually will be). I would kill to see 3d renders of the dr characters in ANY situation though honestly. i will take a flashback, i will take a lore recap, i will take anything

[gibbearish]

btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest