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pyroclastic727 · 4 years ago

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Is Amity autistic?

In the Owl House fandom, we hear a lot about how Luz is written to be ADHD. Now I would like to present the flipside: Amity is coded as autistic.

Here’s the breakdown.

Amity is touch-averse. “BuT aMiTy ToUcHeS LuZ aLL tHe TiMe” nice try. The key to autistic touch-aversion is only being okay with touch when she initiates it. And that totally matches up with Amity. See, Amity is really happy when she initiates touch with Luz. She’s also cool with it when Luz holds her hand after standing near her for enough time that Amity can predict an incoming touch. That’s because Amity consents to that touch and expects it.

But when other people touch her? She doesn’t take kindly to that. When Luz initially bumped into her at Covention, she snapped at her and degraded her. Even when she bumped into Luz in Enchanting Grom Fright, her initial instinct was to snap at Luz, since she didn’t expect to be touched. When Hooty touched Amity’s face without consent, she flipped out and beat him up. Not even Lilith beat Hooty up when he wrapped her up in his mucus-filled tube, but Amity gave Hooty the injuries we all wanted to see him with, because he breached her boundaries without her consent. Even as late as the last episode, Amity fell over when her face got close to Luz’s on the bleachers, because she didn’t expect it.

Amity stims. Okay, this one took me a while to catch, since most of the time, Amity is very controlled with her actions. This symptom isn’t very intense; her senses aren’t understimulated too often, and she really only does it when she’s really excited.

Mainly, when Luz offered to carry her. While she adorably scrambled for words, she also flapped her hands against her legs. At first I thought it was just a cute thing she did, but there’s more to it. She was so excited to be held by Luz that it showed up in her hands flapping...a common stim. With Amity feeling more comfortable around her new friends than the old ones, I wouldn’t be surprised to see more stimming in the future.

Amity always has The Mask as her expression. You know, the one with her eyes half-lidded, eyebrows raised, mouth slightly downturned. I also call it the Resting Blight Face, for...reasons.

At first I thought it was just a way to hide her true emotions, since her parents are assholes. But even though Luz makes her feel accepted, she keeps doing it. It’s more like...you know that feeling when you’re thinking really hard, or uncomfortable, or ashamed, or even just relaxed, and you can’t think of which expression to wear quickly enough, so you put on an unreadable one to tide people over? Apparently most people don’t do that, since allistic people tend to have expressions for those feelings, ones that arise naturally.

Another symptom of autism is having hard-to-read expressions, or being less expressive. In Amity’s case, it’s the fact that she doesn’t see a need to have an expression in calmer moments, so she just uses her usual expression.

Amity hyperfixates. This has several facets, so I’ll break this down.

She initially hyperfixated on school. And that’s how she became top student. Amity Blight is who you would mistake for a “gifted student.” But make no mistake...she is not gifted, and gifted is a bullshit label used to overexert people and force them to keep school as their special interest for their entire lives (and I may have a bit of a vendetta against it). Anyways, we already know she’s a perfectionist. My theory is that Amity originally was hyperfocused on school--the Abominations track, to be exact--and that’s part of how she got so good. Then, her focus shifted, but the school expected her to keep being top student. Cue the perfectionism; she was no longer able to focus on school like she wanted to, but everyone expected her to, so she got insecure about it.

She hyperfixates on Azura, just like Luz did. Yeah, she keeps it secret from the world, for most of the time. But she definitely likes Azura a lot. I mean, she started to reconsider her opinion on Luz when Luz offered her an Azura book. She destroyed her jock career because she tried to use an Azura move in real-life Grudgby. Her interest in Azura is long-lived, starting about the time that her interest in school would have expired (which would explain why she stayed closeted). And we can’t ignore the fact that she sees Azura in Luz and is definitely enjoying the parallels between herself and her fictional counterpart. (Which might not be a coincidence, but that’s an entirely different theory).

She hyperfixates on Luz. Yes, part of this is a crush. But a lot of us have watched Amity’s personality go from alpha bitch to cutest little bean in the Boiling Isles, all thanks to Luz’s influence. Lumity is not a rivals-to-lovers speedrun due to bad writing, it’s due to Amity hyperfixating. She’s already extremely introspective, going so far as to keep a diary where she analyzes and makes sense of herself. It’s not a stretch to say that she identified the faults that kept her from Luz and worked hard to change those off-screen.

Amity keeps a journal. To me, this seems like masking. You see, Amity is what people would consider to be high-functioning, since she can pass for allistic. But in order to do this, she has to put in significant effort on her part. See, when she does something that makes it so she doesn’t pass, she just sees it as a problem (since she probably doesn’t know about autism, and she passes well enough that she would totally be undiagnosed). Then she tries to fix the problem, in order to keep being perfect.

Amity has awkward body language. Thanks to the journal and other ways of masking, you don’t see this early on. But once she feels comfortable enough around Luz to let her guard down...she completely forgets boundaries. To review: in episodes 15-17, she throws herself at Luz, holds her formal rival’s hand for 24.71 seconds, blushes every time she sees Luz, and loudly declares her thirsty thoughts about Luz in uniform before literally running away. While some of this can be seen as normal gal pal things or crush things...you’d think a repressed wlw like Amity would try very hard not to touch Luz, so as to avoid being outed. Or at least she would do less of that stuff, so as to respect Luz’s boundaries the way she wants her boundaries to be respected. But that’s not the case, since she straight-up misses a lot of social cues. And since she feels comfortable around Luz, she doesn’t feel the pressure to be so paranoid about the cues, and can be her awkward self. From her point of view, she probably sees it as being freed from her parents’ judgment.

Amity takes things literally, sometimes. Now, this doesn’t happen all the time, since she isn’t heavily affected by this autistic trait. But when Luz says “I’m picking up what you’re putting down” and Amity says “I’m not putting down anything” and looks down...she not only missed the conclusion Luz drew from her words, but also assumed a literal meaning from her words. I can’t come up with many other instances of this, mostly because this doesn’t happen often. I would assume that Amity missed these a lot early on, and learned how to mask/identify them.

Amity is easily upset when things don’t go as planned. Let’s review these. In the library, she gets really mad at Luz when they end up stitched to a book, and it takes Luz’s sweet personality to get Amity to loosen up and laugh over it. When she goes to practice magic, and Luz steals her wand and uses it to get her siblings kidnapped, Amity locks Luz in a cage and assumes that she will get badly injured if she tries to fix the problems she caused. When Luz comes to her school, she panics and focus on how that doesn’t change anything. When she burns Willow’s mind, she appears absolutely terrified of being punished, flinching and bracing for impact when Luz finds her near the memories, constantly trying to distract Luz as they work together to save Willow, and hiding behind Luz when she confronts the Inner Willow. When Luz asks her to join her in Grudgby, Amity doesn’t initially agree, instead taking much more of the episode to come to terms with her involvement in it.

Amity likes predictability. She’s not attached to routines, but she does like being able to expect things. If she makes a plan for the day, she expects that day to adhere to that plan, and she doesn’t respond well when it changes. When Luz comes to her school, she focus on how that doesn’t change anything...not how that would ruin things or complicate things. Whenever she gets involved in Luz’s shenanigans, she either gets angry, scared, or takes a while to accept it. In a broader sense, she takes a while to accept that Luz and her shenanigans are a permanent fixture in her life--sixteen episodes, to be exact.

Finally, it would make for some excellent representation. An ADHD Dominican-American bisexual protagonist is pretty groundbreaking. But an ADHD Dominican-American bisexual protagonist girl who dates an autistic wlw witch girl from another dimension is exactly the kind of intersectional representation you’d expect to see from an unrestricted Owl House crew.

...Now, this might just be me hardcore projecting. I’m a little scared to post this because I don’t know how much of this is me reading into imaginary things, or trying to convince myself that Amity is like me. Feel free to debate/disprove me or support me in the comments.

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chemicalcarousel · 2 years ago

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is it normal for the host of a system to having attributed your headmates' behavior/thoughts/opinions/ect to yourself before you were made aware of your plurality?

and is it normal for other headmates to having confused themselves as being you, the host, in the past?

(gonna do a "keep reading" for the rest of it, since it became a long rant about my& struggle with our mental health)

ig it's because we just thought that was what being one person was idk we do be a lil stoopid lmao. like... i remember some episodes where levi was close to the front or fronting with me where we were well aware that there was a levi there (name and all), but we thought it was a delusion or we just brushed it off as if it never happened. then we identified as otherkin/fictionkin (since levi is an introject from a fictional source). levi thought he wasn't his own person and he still seems freaked out by the thought of existing and honestly i dont blame him since i find existing freaky too hxkfsfksxs

i thought one of the littles was me doing involuntary age regression as some sort of emotional flashback, but idk my therapist thinks she's a seperate part and ngl it makes more sense. she's much different, but probably based on young me and holds our trauma from that time. i'm personally emotionally distanced to the trauma mostly, but she's the one holding it. every therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist that have met her are extremely surprised how i change so drastically. and they have all commented on how im not in touch with my emotions when i describe my trauma very analytically. but then sometimes "i" start acting like a scared child. i cant control it in any way. i especially cant control my body language, my thoughts, my emotions, and my speech. and after the episode is over i definitely have emotional amnesia. it was a dissociated child part

also the child has a passive influence on me from positive triggers too and it's hard to control that. let's just say we have a lot of plushies lmao but idk they are very cute and the big ones are good for especially the littles to ground and soothe themselves. sometimes hugging one also helps when a little is upset inside of the body. we have a hard time reaching each other inside the headspace, it's like we are lost in an infinite void of darkness where we can sense each other faintly at times, but it's so hard to communicate. but i hugged a big, soft plushie once i felt a little crying and i kept repeating that we are safe and that she's not alone and that we love her. idk why the plushie hugging helped, but my theory is that she might have felt it through our body and hugging that plushie helps her. she didnt seem to be at the front at all, but idk maybe she could still feel it?? idk how this works, my therapist has been very hesitant to help us, even though she's the one who was like "yeah you are three different parts, i've observed them all" (havent told her about lee bc we are scared and he only fronts when we are alone and he can do some activities he likes)

TW // suicidal ideation mention

our therapist is a licenced psychiatrist and psychotherapist who is specialised in mood disorders (we have bipolar), so maybe that's why she's so bad at handling our case. she's like "it's hard to work with your trauma when you're either not in touch with it or you're triggered to the point of closing off from the world". bruh........ we're trying our best here, you're supposed to like.... know what to do. there's a reason that we are here, if we knew how to handle this we wouldn't need therapy wtf. sadly we barely have an income high enough to live off of since we aren't allowed to work yet due to our strong anxiety and s//cidal ideation. also we dont have the right disorders to get disability (only schizo-spec or bpd, denmark is so stupid istfg). hhh life is so hard and we are super split on having hope for the future or not

TW OVER // suicidal ideation mention

anyway, a question turned into a rant (yet again). ig it's because we literally have no one to talk to about this. sorry hhhhgggg

~ Sof (she/he/they)

#pluralgang #actuallyplural #actuallysystem #actuallymultiple #sysblr #pluralblr #headmates #host #system host #yo its sof #ours

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yn-x-animeboy · 4 years ago

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Jungkook x y/n (as a famous artist) Pt.6

pairing: reader x Jungkook

genre: fluff, romance, for entertainment purposes

BTS x Fem Reader

synopsis: You are a popular artist in America, pretty famous, loved and well-known by the general public (actually you were one of the top 10 artists in the world but you are pretty humble and naïve to realize your popularity), one day during one of your fan meets you talk about how much you love BTS, and not only how you wish to meet them and work with them but how Jungkook is one of your celebrity crushes. During the meet you fangirled with other ARMYs in the crowd; video clips of you fangirling and talking about BTS at your meet were posted and reposted all over social media. This obviously broke the internet because you were not only a famous singer but you also were always accepted and loved by ARMY and this made a lot of people happy. Suddenly it felt like everyone wanted you to meet the seven handsome and talented idols and collaborate, but you could only wish, you believed they didn't even know who you were...or so you thought

part 5 here ------------

PART 6- Is bunny mad?

Since that night Jungkook has been secretly sneaking away from his shared apartment with the other members to your apartment every night. After long days of working at the new studio with Sugar and RM, rehearsals and dance practices, meetings, and other business stuff, your favorite thing to do while being here so far has been coming home and anticipating the cute boy’s nightly visit.

He is a very shy boy even if he doesn’t seem it. His original plan always was to only put you to bed and then slip away and to his apartment to avoid any “morning inconveniences” for you, but he always ended up falling asleep after you on the couch.

YES on the couch that too he was to shy to suggest cuddling in your bed because he didn't want you to feel uncomfortable, and you were also too shy to suggest the same thing because you didn't want to give him the wrong idea, but after the both of you suffered the consequences of sleeping tightly in a small couch you awkwardly suggested your bed as the new cuddling location after a month of constant back pain, free falls from the couch to the floor and neck discomfort.

You have officially been working in Korea for two months now and you couldn't be happier. Hybe has taken such good care of you and your team; they have not even slightly neglected you, not once, they constantly worked hard to make you and your label grow. Hybe has new projects in sight for you in the near future; you also have been loving to work on your music and production in your new studio.

You have also been working with Suga and RM, (mostly Yoongi because both your specialties were producing music, and both of you liked bouncing off eachother’s ideas and styles. But RM’s writing style also inspired you a lot and worked with him often as well).

When Hybe announced that you would be merging into the company ARMYs and your fans were ecstatic, it overwhelmed you how amazing and supportive they were, it was as if they knew this was your next step and how this would benefit you.

And well let's be honest that is not the only thing your fans where yapping about; even though you haven't announced the fact that you have been living in Korea for a while now the fans still shipped you and Kookie HARD, and I mean it, they had fan theories, fan fictions, edits and even fake news of you and Jungkook constantly trending on social media; your shippers said things like:

“OMG finally we can have a BTS x y/n collaboration for sure, but hear me out, how about a LYNx Jungkook collaboration…. I MEAN- a love ballad with their beautiful voices ughhh please”,

“Does this mean they have become closer by working under the same company?”

“OMG this means Y/n has to travel to Korea at some point right? OMG can we get the reunion”, etc.

You also sometimes get negative comments from haters and Jungkook’s sasaeng fans though, but the good comments were always better.

Working in Korea was amazing but at the same time exhausting; you had to travel back and forth from time to time making you super Jet lagged. Plus you had to say goodbye to the boys every time; saying goodbye to the boys became easy after the second time you had to leave, but saying goodbye to Jungkook was always hard, even if you were leaving for only two days or even one, it always gave you two flashbacks to when you said goodbye the first time after meeting, and how horrible it felt to want to hug or kiss the other but couldn’t do that through the phone, or how disappointing it was to want to text/call the other at random times but couldn’t because of the time difference before you started working for Hybe.

----

You have been working with the guys for a collaboration since you arrived in Korea, literally since your first week here. You wanted this collaboration to be special and meaningful so instead of just working alongside Suga and RM you took it into your own hands to find ways to involve each and every member so that you could feel everyone’s participation on the track; you took time to listen and take notes on the guy’s suggestions, lyric ideas, and modifications they voiced for the track.

You finished recording the main thing a week ago, and you were currently sitting in Suga’s studio editing the track song and adding vocals to the song’s background, modifying the instrumental, adding or removing certain things etc. Normally when you produced you only worked with Suga during ‘work hours’ but today you both have been in the studio for hours and it’s getting late, but you two didn't want to leave, you seemed to be in the zone, you were working together as if you had a same brain today, so you decided to stay a little longer.

“Oi y/n I think if you harmonized with Jimin in this part and added some ad libs for this it would make it better” Suga said as he played Jimin’s part. “Okay let me play a little with the recording in the booth to see what I can come up with” You said as you got up and headed to the booth. You stepped in front of the mic and placed the thick headphones around your head; you signaled Yoongi to press play, when you heard Jimin’s beautiful voice singing part of the song’s hook through your headphone set you immediately started harmonizing with his voice, improvising and letting go.

Suga was always impressed at your natural talent and often found himself speechless at your work. In the first try, without previous practice you had sung exactly what he had envisioned for the part. “Y/n that was beautiful, good job, I LIKE IT!” You slightly blushed and continued recording background harmonies and ad libs for the track.

---

Jungkook normally texted you at around 8:30 after dinner to let you know he was on his way to your apartment so you would be ready to receive him but when he texted today he received no reply. He texted again at 9:00, then at 9:15 and 9:30. After no response he tried calling a couple times but to no avail, his calls kept going to voicemail.

He started getting nervous and paranoid, replaying the day to figure out what he did wrong to make you ignore him. “Jungkook I have to clean the floor, can you stop pacing back and forth until I am done please?” Hobi asked nicely, he was on clean up duty tonight and trying to mop the floor.

“Is everything okay Gukki? You have been calling and texting anxiously on your phone, walking in circles for almost 2 hours now” Jimin said from the couch.

“uuuuu is it your secret girlfriend JK?” Taehyung teased and looked at Jungkook with a playful look. Jungkook was surprised that three of his hyungs were even awake, they were normally in bed by now.

He tried to cover this blush by flipping Tae off and walking towards the door. “Yeah everything is fine Jimishi, I will go for a walk, I need to let my energy out.” His hyungs nodded and waved him off, they didn’t further question him because it was normal for him to be very energetic and need to get his hyperactivity out, they don't even question the time.

Technically he didn’t lie, he did go out for a walk, but he walked to your apartment; he had no plan in mind, but he was determined to make sure you were okay and fix whatever happened in case you were ignoring him. When he arrived at your apartment he rang the doorbell and waited for you, but you didn't answer, he rang again a couple of times without success.

He called your phone and pressed his ear to the door in hopes to hear your phone ring in the background but again to no avail.

He started panicking, where could you be, you didn't really know Korea too well to be walking by yourself or knowing where to go. And you also didn't really know anyone else that would invite you for a night-out in the city. “She would've told me if she was going out tho, she tells me every single detail in her life, even shares her weekly schedule with me..wtf, where are you y/n?” He tried to recall if you had told him something about leaving as he reread your texts from today; the last thing you had texted him was that you were there in the studio. “Her texts are normal, meaning she was not mad, she said she was in the studio but she would definitely be back by now, it’s almost 10...”

Jungkook slid down your apartment's door and sat on the floor. He called your phone again and finally it was answered.

“Hello? Y/n’s phone…” Jungook heard a male voice through the speaker, his heart dropped, but before he could react, the person on the other side spoke again “Jungkook y/n is busy right now, can you stop calling? she will call you back” Jungkkook recognized the voice to be his hyung’s, Suga.

----

Back in the studio you had been in the booth for a while now going back and forth though the track still adding layers of vocals and harmonies. You were unaware of the time or the fact that you had over 50 missed calls and messages from Jungkook because you left your phone on the desk next to Yoongi to avoid any disruptions or interferences while recording. So after your phone kept vibrating for the 50th time and Suga being the patient being he is he decided to pick up without telling you because:

a. he didn't want to distract your from your recording session and

b. he saw it was Jungkook through the caller ID, so he freely picked up and told his younger bro to stop and wait for you to call him back.

“Suga oppa, I think I am done for today, how about we continue tomorrow” You said getting out of the recording booth after yawning for the third time in a row now.

You also remembered you had to go back to your apartment for Jungkook’s nightly visits. “Yes, it’s actually getting really late, oh by the way you got a few missed calls while you were recording” Suga said as he stood up and picked up his bag.

You checked your phone and saw that it was almost 10:15 pm, and also noticed the 50 missed calls from jungkook. You wanted to call him back, but Suga was next to you and you didn't want him to hear you so you texted JK instead that you would be back in a bit.

-----

You rode back to the private apartment complex with Suga in the same car, talking about nonsense. Once you arrived he only walked you to the front of your building and then took his separate way.

You watched him walk to his building and once he was out of hearing range you called Jungkook.

You tapped your foot as the phone rang, and when the call was picked up you immediately spoke, “Hi kookie, I’m sorry, I-” you were interrupted by the voice on the other line,

“Where are you?” Jungkook spoke in a cold and annoyed tone.

“oh, um, I’m in my apartment” you answered.

“Why are you lying y/n? I’m outside your apartment” he said.

Shit you didn’t even know why you had lied, you could've said you were walking into the building, but no…

You ran to the stairs as fast as you could to save some time and get there faster than if you had taken the elevator.

When you arrived at your door there he was. Jungkook was sitting on the floor looking at you. He looked pissed, “Hi, how long have you been waiting for?” Jungkook didn’t respond, he just got up from the floor and walked past you towards the elevators,

“Hey, kookie? What’s wrong…” you pulled on the back of his shirt,

“I only waited here to make sure you were okay, and you seem like it, so I’m leaving now”, he said without even turning to look at you. Your heart dropped, he had never been this cold before, TWO YEARS and you had never been in an argument with him, panicking you stepped in front of him “Are you not staying tonight?”

Jungkook didn’t even look at you, he just shook his head from side to side and gently took your shoulders to put you to the side and left.

This was the first time since you arrived in Korea you would spend a night without him.

You stood outside your door waiting to see if he miraculously came back, but he didn’t, you texted him asking him what happened, you didn’t understand why he was acting like that, did you make him angry? Was it because of the missed calls? he didn’t answer.

It was now 10:30 at night and walking in your apartment made you uncomfortable, you wanted to be okay with JK so you decided to send one last text:

I want to talk, meet me outside your building.

As you stood outside his building, you feared he would ignore you and leave you alone outside. The private, high security apartment complex was silent, until, “Is everything okay ma’ am?” A sudden voice to your left asked, when you turned you recognized the young man as one of the patrolling security guards.

“Yes, I am just waiting for someone, I am meeting them out here” you replied sweetly, trying to hide the fact that you were anxious and on the verge of tears waiting for JK.

“Oh are you y/n? I am a big fan, I have been really enjoying your latest album” he said. “Really? Thank you so much for the support, what's your name?” you asked, you always try to make time for fans and ask their names.

“Jun-young is my name ma’ am, I’m sorry for asking but can I have a picture?” he asked shyly.

You nodded and posed for the selfie, the young guard took his phone in his left hand and stretching his arm almost at a 90º angle in front of him and he took his right hand and placed it on your back, you lifted a peace sign and smiled for the pic, listening for the click sound; right as he was about to take a second picture you felt yourself being pulled off him and away.

You looked over at the person pulling you away. They were wearing a big bucket hat that hid their face and an oversized hoodie, recognizing immediately.

Feeling safer after realizing it was Jungkook you looked back at the security guard and excused yourself, “I’m sorry Jun-young, it’s my cue to leave, see you around! fighting!”

The guard looked confused at first but quickly smiled and waved you off at your sweetness. Jungkook fist pulled you away frimley yet not aggressively, but once you said those words towards the fan his hold on you shifted to a more aggressive one.

You tried to pull away, “Ow! ow! Jungkook stop”, he immediately dropped your arm in fear he actually hurt you badly but still looked at you coldy.

“Why did you do that, what is wrong with you?” Jungkook was relieved he didn’t hurt you, after a few seconds of silence he spoke. “You asked me to come outside, you should do the talking.” His cold tone made you irritated, you missed his soft bunny voice.

“Why are you mad at me, talk to me! Why are you being so cold, what did I do?” You said as you tried to meet his eyes under the bucket hat.

Jungkook didn’t reply, he just stood there.

“If you don’t tell me what's wrong we can't solve anything Jeon Jungkook, I was working, I come back and you are mad at me”

He liked how the sound of his full name sounded when you said it, but at the same time he became irritated because you didn’t know why he was mad… “Y/n I called hundreds of times but you never picked up, and then when the line is finally picked up, instead of being you on the other line it is my hyung answering for you, telling me to stop calling… So you lied about working and then you lied about being in your apartment saying you were there when I had been waiting for you for hours! And then come out here to give you a chance to explain everything, and find you hugging another man? Calling him by his name and acting all friendly? since when do you have many male friends huh y/n? What were you doing with Suga so late anyway? Why dind’t you fucking answer your phone, and lie about where you where? So of course I’m mad y/n”

You were surprised at his sudden burst, you listened to everything he said, he wanted to keep talking but you interrupted him before he kept making false accusations.

“Okay Jungkook listen to me and listen to me well, No I did not lie to you when I said I was working, I was in the studio, WITH SUGA, because if you have forgotten I am still producing the collaboration song with him, and yes I normally don’t work till this ate but we were having a really good strike and we lost track of time WORKING ON THE SONG; the reason why I didn’t answer was because I was unaware my phone was ringing, I was in the recording booth when you rang my phone, so I didn’t see the missed calls until AFTER I finished recording, Suga told me I had a couple missed calls, he didn’t tell me he answered, I guess he answered my phone once he saw it was you in the caller ID because I left it next to him while I went inside the booth and probably after a while he got irritated and picked it up. I couldn’t call you as I left the studio because I WAS WITH SUGA, or did you want me to be all ‘oh yeah kookie see you tonight at my apartment’ in front of him huh?”

Jungkook looked at you with a blank expression on his face, he eventually spoke back “Okay thank you for explaining but still, you didn't answer your phone. How was I supposed to know where you were, how was I supposed to know you were working with sugar and not out with him? how was I supposed to know you lost track of time? huh? and what about the other guy and your lies”

What he said made sense but it still made you a little mad he was making an argument about a fan boy and the supposed lie, “Jungkook, Jesus, I didn't lie, I was waiting outside my building when I called you, I didn't know you where at my apartment that's why when you asked where I was I said AT MY FU*KING APARTMENT. Why would I lie to you about where I was, you are acting all jealous and possessive like a boyfriend and you haven’t even told me how you feel about me. Oh and btw that “other man” was a fanboy, he works here as a security guard, he asked me if I was okay and recognized me, I was not fondling a random man, I was taking a picture with him! Jesus, who do you think I am?

Jungkook’s once hardened expression softened a tiny bit but he continued, “HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT TOO-”

“EXACTLY JUNGKOOK, there was no way you could have known all this, but if you had only listened to me first, if you had TRUSTED ME, we wouldn't be here right now”

Jungkook knew you were right and he had overreacted, but still defended himself, “Well you say I act alll jelous and like a boyfriend, and that I have never told you how I feel, LOOK WHO IS TALKING, you haven’t told me how you feel either, of course I am going to act all jelous and protective y/n, I see the way people look at you, everytime you walk in the building staff members look at you up and down; my hyungs adore you and think you are the coolest most sweetest girl ever but also constantly coment on your beauty; when you walk around people look at you with desire and admiration and I can’t fucking control that; you constantly go viral on socialmedia because of your beauty, I see the comments of men calling you hot and making inaporoprate comments, I-”

Before he could continue you took your hand and put it on his cheek and spoke, interrupting him, “Jungkook I understand how you feel, I feel that sometimes when other artists talk about you, when other people ship you with another female idol, etc. But you do understand that you cannot blame me for that just like I can't blame you or be mad at you for my own jealousy… I wish you could trust me, like I do” you slipped your hand off as you said the last part.

Jungkook realized you were 100% right, “I trust you, but I just- I- …. How can I be 100% sure if you aren’t mine?” he blurted out with a little rose tint spreading on his cheeks.

You were surprised at first but quickly exhaled and lowered your head to see his eyes again under the bucket hat, “Jungkook, I like you... no, I love you kay? I have been unofficially and unconditionally by your side for two years now, and you don’t see that? hahaha, ohh bunny what am I going to do with you…” you said confidently.

“You love me?” Jungkook spoke surprised, his cute bunny voice made you grin.

“Yes dummy…You were my celebrity crush, I met you and immediately knew you were my person that I wanted you to be in my life and; I answered your calls and texts long distance for two years without missing a single one because i didn’t want to lose you, and yes of course Namjoon, Yoongi, Jin, Taehyung, Hobi and Jimin mean a lot to me too, I love them so much and love spending time with them, but I made you MY priority. I love your cute bunny smile, it never fails to make my stomach flutter; I love the way your eyes light up when you do something you love; I love the way you always make an effort to spend some alone time with me even if it is for a minute; I love the way you take care of me; I love how you wait for me to fall asleep before you fall asleep in case I have a nightmare and need your comforting; I love-” your were going to continue but were stopped by Jungkook taking your face in his hands squishing your cheeks a little.

“I- I love you too” you smiled as he leaned closer and gave you a sweet peck on your lips, he then looked back into your eyes ``Y/n I know it’s taken me some time, but, do you officially want to be my girlfriend?” He asked.

You couldn't have been happier, your knees went weak, your stomach fluttered, your heart felt like it was about to explode and Jungkook’s hand on your face tingled your skin. You smiled widely at him, Finally he had been honest with his feelings, but you understood he took his time because he was shy.

“Jungkook….” you dropped your smile, yes you were blushing and the happiest you have been in a while but still you never missed an opportunity to tease Jungkook.

“I…. I um-” Jungkooks face dropped and his once blushing cheeks went pale.

“Jungkook, I thought I was already your girl…. How do you explain our daily cuddles?” you teased smiling again. Jungkook’s once worried expression quickly changed as he let out a sigh of relief. “For f*ck’s sake y/n you scared me, do not do that ever again” he said dropping his hand from your face.

You jumped and wrapped your arms around his neck to avoid him leaving. “Aw is my wittle bunny mad?” you said with pouty lips. Jungkook couldn’t help but smile at you, he looked into your twinkling eyes and only thought about how he was truly in love with you.

“Just answer my question already stupid” he said as he stood with you wrapped around him and a small smirk on his face.

“Hahahaha of course I do, took you long enough bunny” you said with the widest most honest smile on your face. He immediately wrapped his hands around your torso and held you as tight as he could.

You both walked back to your apartment for your nightly cuddle session.

------

I’m so sorry again, I have been having some shitty couple weeks, I am mentally getting better.

I am okay now and ready to keep writing :), thank you for your patience, I won’t let you down. FIGHTING!!!

Hope you liked it, ilysm Xx

#jungkook #bts #bts jungkook #bts imagines #jungkook imagine #bts scenarios #jungkook scenarios #bangtan sonyeondan

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lovelivingmydreams · 4 years ago

Text

Paper Flowers: Assumptions

People make snap judgements all the time. About fictional characters as well as the people in their lives. It gets dangerous however when you assume your perception is the truth.

“Hello all you Fanders out there!” the voice over of DarkStarlight sounds through your speaker as the screen shows the title card of their series Fanders illustrated. The concept is simple enough. They talk about things from Thomas’ content or the fan community they liked while showing speeddraws based on it. It’s really fun to see.

“So a while ago I made this drawing based on the names we picked for the Prince’s nemesis.”

The image changes to a drawing of two versions of the character standing back to back. The dark, mischievious Marcus against a dark red background, and the awkward blushy Kevin against a lighter blue, the collors mixing to purple in the center.

“And the comments have been wild!” A blank canvas is shown as they start sketching.

“There were several theories about how these two boys could be one and the same.

The theory I want to draw today is a cute one. So CatPrincess suggested Marcus is an act Kevin puts up to help the prince. Kevin, according to her, is a staff member of the palace. And when the Prince got old enough to start looking for a princess, he needed an excuse, since he’s gay or just not really interested in romance. He never really was invested in any princesses in the vines after all. He’s had the most chemistry with males. Prince is gay confirmed.”

You chuckle. And shake your head. This fandom is wild. You just hope the characters can make a transition to youtube. It seems like Vine’s time is really coming to an end.

“Anyway, so whether the prince knows it or not CatPrincesss didn’t say, but Kevin ends up disguising himself as a villain so Prince can say he’s busy defending the realm and that he can’t pursue any Princesses until the villain is defeated. I really like the idea of Prince and Kevin having little inside jokes and grinning at each other secretly while Kevin tends to the family during dinner as they hear the king and queen complain about the villain. So. What do you think?”

And just like that the drawing is done. It’s Prince and a formally dressed Kevin glancing at each other with subtle smirks while behind them their silhouettes are crossing swords.

You like and share the video before checking in on tumblr, you still have some time to kill before dinner.

“I don’t see why we even bother still making vines every day. We’re finished, it’s over,” Virgil muttered as he paced the floor of the common area. He really hated being the barer of bad news, but no one was coming to terms with this simple fact.

“We have sworn to entertain the fanders, and it is not over until the fat lady sings,” Roman explained calmly from his spot, draped over the couch, pretending to be more interested in his notes for the ultimate storytime tour.

The announcement had taken the internet by storm and even Virgil was excited, though he never showed that to the others. He couldn’t leave his room for five days because he couldn’t stop ‘sparkling’ as Roman had come to call his excited look. Just in his head though, he was fairly sure Virgil wouldn’t appreciate it.

“What are we going to do after!?” Virgil insisted.

“We could look for a real job?” Logan suggested though he wasn’t very hopeful.

Virgil was nodding to himself, that was an option he supposed.

“We could make more scripted youtube video’s? People have been commenting they wished they could see more of our characters than six second skits?” Patton suggested.

“Brilliant idea Padre!” Roman exclaimed as he sat up and started skribling.

“We could make a series about the dad and teacher! Liam, Fiona and Gavin might like participating… Oh, and we could make marvelous stories about the prince… Idea!!!!”

He jumped up and made a gesture towards all of them. “We could make a series about us!” he declared proudly. “The fanders want to know more about Thomas, what better way to talk about that than by showing them who we are!?”

Patton was clapping excitedly while Logan and Virgil seemed apprehensive.

“Oh, that sounds so fun!!!” the fatherly side cheered.

“I don’t know,” Virgil objected. “It feels too exposed.”

“Indeed, we are a very personal part of Thomas. We should not be shown to the world so carelessly,” Logan agreed, mostly opposed to being displayed as a source of entertainment for others.

“We don’t have to go all in right away. Thomas can start with acting like our vine counterparts and see how the fanders react and if they like the idea we slowly but surely let our real selves shine through. Little steps,” Roman suggested.

Logan cocked his head. “That was, a very well thought out solution…” he admitted. It was odd. When had this started? Roman usually just spat out ideas and took any criticism as a personal offence. When did he start taking feedback into consideration?

Roman gasped and brought a hand to his heart in offence. “Don’t sound so surprised!” he huffed.

“I don’t know…” Virgil said slowly. The fanders liked his character… But that guy wasn’t literal anxiety.

Roman sighed dramatically. “Tell you what. I draft up some ideas. And after the tour we can revisit the subject. Vine won’t disappear overnight,” he reasoned.

Logan and Patton nodded in agreement. “Fine,” Virgil relented before pulling his hoodie over his head and stalking off.

Patton frowned. “He’s never happy is he?” he muttered sadly. Roman bit back his reaction. Patton was both wrong and right. This part of Virgil couldn’t be happy. But Roman knew of other parts that could be the happiest out of all of them. Happier than even Patton could ever hope being.

“Well who’s fault is that?” A voice drawled from the door opening. Roman automatically drew his sword while Patton and Logan reflexively moved to stand a little more behind him.

“Such a warm reception, I’m so touched,” Deceit said, hand on his heart, a sarcastic sting to his voice and a roll of his eyes.

"Well," Roman huffed as he put away his sword. "Maybe if you didn't apparate in dark corners for no good reason we wouldn't assume an attack was imminent. You are lucky you just missed anxiety, he might not have been able yo hold himself back." Realy what was that snake thinking?

"Thanks for the concern Roman, but other than you three, I know how to handle him."

Roman once more bit his tongue. Keeping his promise not to reveal their bond has never been so hard. This particular side was much more likely to catch him evading and omitting.

He rolled his eyes dramatically and crossed his arms in front of him. "Is there anything you needed Deceit?" Patton asked as he stepped forward laying a soothing hand on Roman's arm.

"Just checking in. And I must say I am not impressed. Morality I had hoped you'd put in a little more effort to make Anxiety comfortable up here. At this rate I might have to take him back with me." Roman could feel Patton cringe at that. That's it. Virgil's friend or not, Roman would not let him upset his family.

“Oh drop it scaleface. Empty threats will only go so far,” he said with a hand on his hip and a roll of his eye.

“Who says they’re empty?” Deceit drawled, studying his nails. “The whole reason Anxiety came up here was to reduce his stress, but if you all just keep making him unhappy, what is the point?” Deceit wondered calmly, though Roman could see there was a vague annoyed pull at his eyes. He clearly did not like being questioned.

“If he really was as unhappy as you imply, then why hasn’t he gone back to you and Remus who supposedly know how to ‘handle him’ so much better?” There was a mild flinch in Deceit’s posture, making Roman wondered if he accidently hit a nerve somehow.

“Just say what you came here for, Deceit. We all have other things to do.” Because deceit was rarely straightforward. Virgil hadn’t told him much about living down there, but that much he’d learned.

Janus just huffed and left.

“Charming as always!” Roman huffed as he combed his fingers through his hair.. He let out a sigh and dropped his hand before looking down at Patton.

“Are you alright Padre?” he wondered.

“I… Yes actually. Thank you Roman…” Roman wanted to bid the two bespectacled sides a good day and start writing on the new series and finish of his ideas for the tour, but the he noticed Patton was biting his lip nervously and so he waited.

“Do you really think… he’s not going to take Anxiety back is he?”

Roman smiled warmly down at Patton before turning to Logan. “Logan, could Thomas ‘forget about anxiety’ at this point?” he asked.

Logan cocked his head confused. “No, denying Anxiety is a part of Thomas, the way Thomas refused to acknowledge his presence in the past, is not possible. Deceit does not have the power to force such a change. Only if the three of us were to agree to it, could something like that be accomplished. And I do not intent to participate in such endeavor,” Logan stated. Patton relaxed at that.

“And I suppose I have gotten used to our war of wits. I shan’t permit him to leave until I reign victorious! Speaking of victory! I’m off writing a script so brilliant the fanders will demand more!”

And with that he finally did make his exit.

He returned to his room and immediately started on his projects. He was not sure what Deceit was trying to accomplish, but it would not deter him from his mission.

In the commons Logan has left as well and Patton his tidying up. Trying not to let Deceit’s words get to him… Who’s fault was it? His? Roman’s? Was there another thing he was missing?

At the border of the conscious mind Janus was beyond annoyed. It didn’t really matter. The idea of failure was planted, and if he knew the lights at all it’s that they would try harder to make Virgil feel comfortable, if only to prove him wrong. Virgil would not like that Janus had gotten involved, but he was worried. How couldn’t he be? Over the past few month’s Virgil had been acting off. Sure he was being more sociable, but after every interaction he was so rained he more or less disappeared. That was the only explanation Janus had for the times he’d visited to make sure he was alright and find the room empty. He hadn’t brought it up with Virgil, since doing so would most likely end up being more about him entering Virgil’s room without permission rather than an actual explanation.

And it didn’t really matter. Janus knew one thing with unwavering certainty.

If the lights didn’t get their act together, they might lose him.

Next: momceit

#sanders sides #ts sides #virgil sanders #roman sanders #prinxiety #paper flowers au

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zhansww · 4 years ago

Note

Hi. Thank you so much for replying. You gave me so much good information. I respect that you treat XZ and WY like people and not as fictional characters as I see so many people doing. I'm still reluctant to join this side of the fandom because from what I've seen so far, it's a mess. Tell me if I got this right: xfx= solo XZ fans who think WY and his team sabotaged XZ's career so he could be the top actor also hate cp fans because they support both XZ/WY. mtjj= solo WY fans.

Acknowledge that WY could be in love with XZ but think XZ doesn't care about him, hope WY moves on. They don't seem to like cp fans for not ruining XZ/WY's friendship? bjyx=cp fans. Some of them are supporters and, some of them are fetishizers. Want the solo fandoms to combine??? ( I still don't know what V/JK is) But is that the state of things?? Way more complicated than the CQL/MDZS fandom. I am enjoying your blog, your pinned post is the best introduction to the fandom imo. Are there any other analysis type blogs like yours that you could rec? Thank you. ( Sorry for the long ask)

oh my... smh your reluctance to join this part of the fandom makes you so endearing to me. If I wasn't as socially inept as I am, I'd ask you to be friends 🥺 Gonna put this all under a cut~

Let me start with the easiest thing to answer. V and Jk are two members from BTS whose relationship is shockingly real to me. I avoided writing their names or their cp name out cuz I didn't want my pinned post to show up in those searches. Unlike with ggdd, I never got the impression they'd be okay with speculations about them, though. So I don't ever feel the need to analyze or discuss about them. I just quietly believe in and support them.

You got xfx and mtjj right. Xfx is the official fan name for XZ's solo fans. Mtjj is not an official fan name, though, i.e. Yibo or his company never made it official, as far as I know. It stands for motojiejie which means motorcycle sisters, there's also mtgg = motorcycle brothers but you'll mostly see mtjj. Bxg is what ggdd's cp fans are called. It stands for BoXiaoGirls/Guys. It can also stand for baixiangguo which means "passion fruit". And there's a third meaning which I don't know but has something to do with turtles and which is why you're likely to see bxg refer to themselves as turtles. Bjyx is ggdd's main, fanmade cp name. It was coined back in April 2018, after XZ and WYB only just got confirmed as the actors who get to play WWX and LWJ. One of the rules in the bjyx supertopic on weibo is that you can't switch their "roles". And those were solely based on wang/xian but I suppose once fans realized that ggdd is actually real and their dynamic is vastly different from wang/xian, they came up with different cp names for different dynamics. There's also zsww and lsfy. (Sidenote; if I remember correctly, bjyx means “to make your special someone smile”. Zsww means “lord over a district/castle” and lsfy means “chain reaction”) And as far as I know, zsww fans are called little bandits and lsfy fans are called baby lotus. I apologize if me explaining this makes you feel weird in any way (cuz this fandom separation is dumb af) - I just wanna give you any info I have cuz you might come across some of this, at least. Anyway, the most common abbreviations you'll see; bxg = ggdd cp fans and bjyx = ggdd's cp name. There's also bjyxszd 博君一肖是真的 which means "bjyx is real" or bjyxszd 并肩于学山之巅 which means "side by side atop the snowy summit" and is a phrase that bxg use to hide the first phrase in plain sight, so to say.

I don't know what it's called but there's actually also a supertopic on weibo for XZ and WYB solo fans who believe that ggdd is real but are still only solo fans. So truthfully, you can't really generalize that. Some solo fans do believe in ggdd and are supportive but not necessarily openly. I (like to) think most solo fans are just dedicated to their idol and don't care about anything or anyone else and that's it. The rest, though... yeah, those are the obnoxious ones. Who made up ridiculous conspiracy theories about how Yibo and his company are responsible for what happened last February to gg. Or who make up theories about how XZ only got as successful as he is because he copied Yibo. They really want to believe that ggdd aren’t special to each other or that they even hate one another. So they come up with the dumbest bs to e.g. vilify XZ. Like, about a year ago, mtjj got mad at gg cuz they thought he, as dd's boyfriend, must have forced dd to sell one of his motorcycles. When Yibo uses kadian, they think he just does it to bait cp fans. But when XZ uses kadian, he's being the worst, most careless boyfriend and how tf could he put Yibo in danger like that. And yes, I've seen the same hateful mtjj spout such contradictory nonsense. It can be quite hilarious, ngl. I only follow decent solo stans so I truthfully don't know what the newest sh-t is that antis/solos have come up with.

When it comes to bxg... yes, there are a lot of supporters but also way too many who seem to be unable to separate ggdd from novel!wang/xian. They so badly want only bjyx - that dynamic - to be real that they constantly feel the need to "change reality" to make it happen by e.g. misgendering gg, drawing him smaller than dd and/or more feminine, making assumptions about him and his character that are simply untrue but fit their preferred dynamic so they keep spreading those assumptions. They way they view XZ is wrong and beyond disrespectful and yet, they call themselves fans. I genuinely hope you'll never even have to see any thing of the sort. I don't actually know anything about bxg, wanting to combine the solo fandoms xD I guess, ideally that would be desirable but I wonder if that's even possible.

Thank you so much for liking my pinned post... That and a lot of the posts that I linked in it are what I keep hoping may make more people believe in and support ggdd and it makes me so so glad that it could be of use to you! About recs, I could recommend you some twt accounts or on here, gif makers and fanartists that I like and follow but I don't follow any ggdd blogs that make a lot of text posts. And just to be clear, I don't make many text posts myself either. I stay away from rumors (unless they become more than that) and from stalker info and from all the reaching, too. You might find it interesting, I don't know, but me, I see no point, mulling over any and every minute connection between ggdd that may or may not even be real. It gets too invasive or ridiculous imo. I actually also stay away from all that recent behind the scenes footage of ggdd because I highly disapprove of the way it was acquired. I only comment on things about them that I consider reasonable and possibly noteworthy and that preferably come from the men themselves. And occasionally, I gush about how cute and perfect they are together. Sorry I can't be more helpful with this last question >.<

#ask #halobey

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oureuphoria · 5 years ago

Text

Liars, Humans and Werewolves, Oh My.

Synopsis: Your father (a werewolf) and your mother (a werewolf) were concerned about your friend-making skills so they made deal with Jungkook to befriend you (a human). He knew he shouldn’t have agreed, he knew from the moment he spoke with you that it would blow up in his face but he genuinely believed what you didn’t know couldn’t hurt you. It was a friendship founded on lies but to Jungkook it was the realest thing he knew. or “I don’t study fictional characters for fake friends, Y/N.”

Genre: fluff, angst, crack

Pairing: werewolf!jungkook X human!reader

Word count: 7.9K

Warnings: I don’t think there is any but lemme know if I’m wrong.

Note: Hiiiii!! Okay, so this oneshot was long overdue I am so sorry but I hope you enjoy. I’m not American and I’m not a werewolf so if any information is inaccurate I sincerely apologise. I proofread but there's a chance there might be some mistakes because I am a fool.

You approached your father as he was loading the car. “Why do we have to go?” You whined while also sluggishly lugging extremely large bags into the car to help him. “It’s a learning experience Y/N. Stop whining.” Your face fell at your his stern exclamation but the second he turned around you stuck your tongue out at him. “I just don’t understand the fundamentals of going to New York for 2-weeks just for a stupid party where you, mom and Miri have loads of fun while Henry and I suffer.” He ignored you as he closed the trunk and told you to get in. You were not making the car ride easy and your dad had to threaten to leave you on the side of the road to get you to stop complaining.

You were fully aware that werewolves were often stigmatised and misunderstood but you couldn’t help but panic a little when you were stuck in a room full of them. Sure, your fear was foolish since both humans and werewolves had been at peace for centuries but for some unrecognisable reason, all knowledge of the peaceful history left your mind the moment you entered the huge hall. Your dad was a human but turned before your mom gave birth to your eldest sister, Miri. She came out a werewolf, you and your younger brother Henry, however, didn’t. Although your sister was considered a full-blooded werewolf (and thanks to your mother an extremely prestigious werewolf at that), you and Henry were outcasts. It was uncommon for human-turned-werewolves to reproduce humans ‘lacking the wolf gene’ and being dragged to this party with your family just reminded you of the fact that you were in retrospect, a failure. At least you had your 14-year-old failure of a brother by your side.

While everyone coexisted in tranquillity, it was unorthodox for a human to know about werewolves unless they were a werewolf’s mate or in your rare case, a failed human child of two werewolves. You were sure you could never be any werewolf’s soulmate or anyone's soulmate for that matter, your heart was sworn to Netflix and 50 cats. The unorthodoxy of your situation meant that there was always an impenetrable tension between you and werewolves, one that made you extremely uncomfortable.

Despite all the weird stares and snarls that were hurled your way, your dad was optimistic. He always thought that being a human was great and that these parties were just simply learning curves that you needed to get past. “Henry, if you eat one more cupcake you’ll turn into one. Slow down!” He mocked you before shoving the other half of the cupcake in his mouth. You rolled your eyes and walked away to find him a napkin before you were kidnapped by your father. “Dad, what-“ “Y/N, say hi to the Jeons.” You didn’t really remember the Jeon family that much. All you knew was that your father and Jeon Songwook used to be super close. You also knew that when Songwook later married his beautiful wife, he had 2 children. Junghyun and Jungkook. Junghyun was the eldest and graduated with your sister, he was standing there clad in an expensive suit next to his girlfriend who’d you’d met at the last extravagant party. Jungkook was standing there also clad in an expensive suit with his eyes trained on your sister. You mustered the best smile you could though you were sick and tired of being the family’s pity show and tell story.

“Y/N, I’ve heard a lot about you, you’re the same age as Jungkook right?” You nodded subtly, unsure where this conversation was going. “I heard you got a perfect score on your SAT.” You saw Jungkook’s face morph into one of anger in the corner of your eye. “Dad-“ Before Jungkook could finish his father put his hand on your shoulder. “Walk with me, Y/N?” You looked at your father for help but he just shrugged. Your mother mouthing ‘don’t fuck this up’ at you as you walked past her. “Jungkook, he’s very athletically talented but he’s not the most academically inclined. He got into Princeton but purely on sports and I’m concerned that if he doesn’t get his grades up, he won’t have a back-up plan.” You nodded understandingly, he seemed like a genuinely nice man from what you could tell so you listened to him.

“What are you asking me to do, sir?” He chuckled at your worried eyes. “Just call me, Songwook, Songy if you want, that’s what your dad calls me.” You let out a small laugh, fighting back the urge to yawn. “I know that you’re going to Princeton too and I also know you’re taking a class in photography. Your dad showed me a couple of your photos, they really are beautiful.” Before you could even begin to thank him he continued. “My son is majoring in corporate law, like you, and I just thought it might be easier for him to start off if he had the support of someone as intelligent as you.” “Sir, I’m really not that smart-” He cut you off with a wave of his hand. “Nonsense, every parent in this room wishes they had a child as smart as you.” You laughed a little harder than last time. You wished that was true but you knew it was quite the opposite. Everyone here was just glad they weren’t raising two humans.

“So, do you want me to tutor him?” He nodded with a smile and you smiled back half-heartedly. You were already on bad terms with the werewolf society and now you were about to get on the bad side of the human one. Jungkook went to your high school but it was big and you never really talked to him. He was popular, naturally, and the attention that he generated was mostly from girls, also naturally. He was seen as untouchable though, he was nice, polite and a true charmer but he never stayed with a girl long enough to call her his. It felt weird to call him a fuck boy because he didn’t fit the image. He wasn’t reckless or cruel and he wasn’t a complete boneheaded idiot with a lack of morals. He was admirable, truly and from what you had known there was not a single person who hated him. You had a theory that he was emotionally unavailable because he was waiting for his mate but you never spent too long on it, you never really cared enough to.

Songwook walked you back to the cluster that was your merged families and once your family was alone you were bombarded with questions from your parents. “What did he say to you?” You gave them a pointed look to which they gave you a playful slap on the arm. “Hurry!” You took a deep breath creating suspense before ruining all their hopes in one sentence. “He just wanted me to tutor his son.” Your dad elbowed you slightly before letting out a long sigh. “We were worried he was going to ask you to marry Jungkook or something.” You started laughing uncontrollably before stopping abruptly. “What’s Miri doing with him, she knows he’s just into one night stands.” Your father shrugged before your mother interfered. “We warned her but your sister is old enough to make her own decisions.” You scoffed before turning to face them with crossed arms. “So, she can have sex with a guy that you know is going to leave after but I can’t buy a Nintendo Switch? She’s only 2 years and 7 months older than me!” Your parents just blinked at your outburst before they floated away to go impress another family.

You went to find Henry but he was nowhere to be seen and you literally searched everywhere. He was probably hiding in the men’s room on his phone watching Netflix but you couldn’t just go in there. You saw Jungkook leaning against a wall on his phone so you approached him without really thinking about what you were going to say. “Jungkook!” He looked up from his phone and gave you a tired smile. “This might be a little weird but do you think you can go into the men’s bathroom to see if my brother is in there?” He looked at you with widened eyes, he nodded slowly before making his way to the bathroom, you trailing behind him, he turned around and scratched his neck sheepishly. “Uh…what’s his name again? Sorry, I forgot.” You let out a laugh that you were trying to suppress before letting him know that his name was Henry.

Once Jungkook made it out, your brother next to him, you gave him a huge beaming smile. “Thank you!” He just nodded in return before making his way off to the bar. “Oh shit, you have a crush on Jungkook!” You turned around to look at your brother with a face of confusion. “What?” You gave him a good slap on the back of the head but he was undeterred. “You totally find him cute.” You rolled your eyes before putting your arm around his shoulder. “Everyone finds him cute. Now, I think I found a way to convince mom and dad to let us buy a Nintendo Switch.”

You had spent hours with Henry, even though he was 14, you were closer to him then you’d ever be to Miri. That wasn’t her fault though, it just turned out that way. “So, are you going to buy the new Resident Evil game?” You already knew where this was going. “Yeah, so that you can play the entire game before me.” He groaned at your stubbornness, refusing to let that one incident go. “How many times must I say I am sorry?” He was swinging your arm back and forth while exclaiming dramatically. Eventually, though, your parents came back and let you know it was time to go back to the hotel.

You were moving to New Jersey in 3 days and Henry did not like that. “Take me with you, I can fit inside your luggage if you make a little room.” Henry had been attached to your hip ever since this week had started. “I told you, I’ll kidnap you after I leave so it doesn’t seem suspicious.” He laughed, flopping down on the couch next to you. “I’m going to miss you. I don’t know how I’m supposed to survive as the only person of culture in this household” You furrowed your eyebrows at him. “Dad’s okay sometimes.” He gave you an all-knowing look and you sighed. “Okay so you’ll have to be the only person of culture for a bit but I’ll be back before you know it.”

Jungkook had avoided you the first week there. Whenever you tried to approach him he’d pretend he was busy or blatantly ignore you. You called your dad for help and he just said he’d talk to Songwook about it but it had been 2 days and he still made you feel like a plague-infested rat. You were in the library, reading over your schedule and trying to make sense of it. You were horribly bored but there was nothing better to do so you sat there and played games on your phone.

“You’re a snitch.” The voice scared you so much you threw your phone and lost at the game. “And you made me lose a chance at beating my high score!” You picked up your phone and looked up to be met with an angry Jungkook. “Yikes, who hurt you?” You went back to your phone but he snatched it out of your hand. “I don’t need your help.” You put your arms up to ‘surrender’ though you had no idea why he was so angry. “I didn’t know, your dad-” “My dad doesn’t care about my grades, just my reputation. You’d know all about damaging your parent's reputation though so no wonder he asked you.” You gulped, that was unexpected. “Gee, thanks.” You packed up whatever you had out on the table as quickly as you could and left. “Fuck…Y/N wait I didn’t mean that!” You heard him yell after you but you didn’t care, this was the one place where you thought you could escape it but your image followed you everywhere as long as a werewolf was there.

You rented an apartment alone, not wanting to deal with the havoc of dormitories or live with your sister and her chaos. You had saved up enough to maintain yourself for a while, doing small jobs at your dad's law firm sure helped but now you needed a real job. You weren’t too stressed about finding a job yet because you had some time and you were a master procrastinator. What really stressed you out was college. If anyone found out about your ‘background’ everyone would think that you bought your way in and that was the last thing you needed, all you had to do was avoid anyone you knew and remain unnoticed. Which would be hard considering your sister and Jungkook were around.

Thinking about Jungkook was starting to make you mad again so you got up and stretched, ready to unpack the few boxes that now contained your entire life. The apartment came furnished and you had already been up there to get the bulkier stuff settled with your family’s help so now you just had to sort through smaller things which you did with a frown. Once you were done, you expected to feel a sense of completion, excitement even, but you felt nothing. If anything you felt scared.

It was a Wednesday in your second week of college. You desperately hoped it would go better than your first week though you can’t think of a way for it to go any worse. But of course, the world is full of surprises. “Y/N!” You turned the other way when you saw Jungkook jogging towards you. You tried to walk with as much speed as you could muster but he was an athlete, you should’ve known better. “Y/N, I’m sorry, what I said was horrible.” He stopped in front of you while you looked at your feet. “It’s okay, I won’t snitch. I already forgot about it.” You tried to reason but he clearly didn’t believe you. “Why’d you turn around the other way then?” You stayed silent because you had no good excuse. “Let’s meet for lunch, my treat, I owe you.” You shook your head quickly. “I already ate lunch.” He looked at you weirdly before laughing. “Y/N it’s 8:30, I believe we call that breakfast.” Your face morphed into an embarrassed smile as you wished desperately for the ground to swallow you whole.

“So, you’re an alpha?!” Jungkook gestured for you to quieten down as while he looked around cautiously to see if anyone overheard. “No way, you totally don’t seem like an alpha.” He looked at you with an offended face which you just shook off. “Come on, alphas don’t run after people just to apologise, Jungkook.”

“Well, they can.” He retorted with just as much spite as you. “Evidently.” You looked him up and down while you said it and he flicked your forehead in response. You tried to take a bite of your burger but parts of it started slipping out. “I don’t know why they say Miri is the better sister, you clearly have so much class.” He said this while you were trying to eat your now deformed burger but you were not enjoying the scrutiny. “You’re so funny.” You replied mockingly which just made him laugh in return. “So, why the sudden change of heart? You used to look at me like I ran over your dog.” He winced at the memory before putting his fork down. “It was embarrassing, I never asked for help before and it was weird for me. Besides, I didn’t actually need help my dad was just paranoid.” You nodded understandingly because you sure did understand, you hated asking for help just as much as the next guy but you weren’t as well-rounded as Jungkook was, you definitely needed help in some areas.

��If I was a werewolf, I’d be an alpha, right?” Jungkook gave you one look before laughing obnoxiously, you put a hand on your heard feigning offence. “You’d be a beta.” You were now genuinely offended but pushed that back for the moment to provide room for your curiosity. “Why?” When he looked at you with a playful gaze you were prepared for a snarky comment. “Because people who want to be alphas are automatically betas. You don’t choose your role, your role chooses you.” You gave him a playful nudge into the wall as he was walking you home. “Okay Gandalf, when did you get so wise?” He laughed harder than he should’ve and you gave him a questioning look. “Who even is that?” Your eyes widened in shock. “Gandalf, Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit?” When he still looked at you with the same blank stare you shook your head disappointingly. “Only a nerd like you would reference something from Lord of the Rings.” You nudged him a little harder this time but he was more prepared. “Y/N, I really am sorry about what I said.” You waved him off. “Admit I’d make the best alpha and I’ll forgive you.” His eyes met yours in an annoyed glare but they still seemed so beautiful to you. You had to tell yourself to stop staring before it got awkward. Maybe Henry was right, maybe you did have a tiny crush on Jungkook, but in reality, who didn’t?

“You’re late.” You quickly sat down in front of him, 15 minutes after you’re appointed time. “I know, I’m sorry. The lecture ran over schedule.” He shook his head in fake disappointment and you sighed before playing along. “A wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to.” Jungkook looked at you blankly, blinking far too much in an attempt to make you realise how random your references were. “Gandalf, again.” He muttered ‘nerd’ under his breath and went back to his papers. You hit him with your pen. Despite his father’s word, Jungkook was doing well but you had to admit that he was trying a lot harder than he did in high school.

“Thanks for joining me, I didn’t want to study alone.” You peered over your shoulder to look at the group of girls that were staring at him and giggling. “Could’ve asked someone from your fan club.” When he looked up at you in confusion, you cocked your head to the side that they were on and he sighed heavily. “They do that to every guy, trust me.” You nodded your head with a teasing look which he didn’t find amusing but he didn’t say anything after and you grew worried. “Hey, do you mind covering for me for tomorrow’s 2pm class? I have a wolf thing I have to deal with, just tell the professor that I had a meeting with my coach.” You nodded hesitantly, concerned about what had been stressing him out so much but you didn’t press. It had been 2 weeks since your lunch with him and since then you’d found out a handful of things about Jungkook. He was a competitive swimmer, he had a fear of microwaves, he did not hook-up with your sister and he didn’t like sharing information about himself.

When Jungkook showed up the day after the 2pm class he had to miss, he looked horrible. He had a cut on his lip that was healing and scattered bruises on his face. With how fast werewolves healed, you assumed this was far better than what it had been last night. “You look like roadkill.” You wanted to ask what had happened and if he was okay, but you knew where that would have gone so you skipped the small talk. “Shit, really?” He seemed panicked about what you said which made you even more concerned, it was obvious you were kidding. “No, you look fine just a little beaten. Are you okay?” He didn’t face you so you grabbed his shoulder to make him though when you did you felt a bandage through his shirt. He winced at the contact and you pulled your hand off like it was a hot stove. “Sorry. Jungkook, what happened?” He turned to you and smiled, pulling you by the forearm to your morning class. “There was already a pack here and you can’t have two alphas so I had to fight him. But I won and I’m fine. Trust me, he looks even worse.” You laughed but it seemed half-hearted, you were glad he shared this much though, it was more than you hoped for.

“So, recap on the class. Professor lost his shit at Daniel because he kept swinging on the chair and fell. We discussed conflict of interest in workplaces so shit got gory and someone walked in drunk. Welcome to Ivy League, huh?” He chuckled but it seemed fake and you wondered if he was even listening. You didn’t press further, you thought he had done enough sharing for that day. “Anyways, I have my photography class now so I’m going to go.” He nodded absentmindedly and you walked away with a clouded mind and a heavy heart. You worry made you realise that you definitely liked Jungkook in a completely non-platonic way. You were royally screwed.

You had made a friend in your photography class, his name was Berlin and he approached you for help at first which you didn’t really mind, you needed friends anyway. He asked if you wanted to join him after class to take some pictures around the college to help him with his new DSLR. You agreed with a little hesitation, unsure of how he got into the class with that little knowledge about cameras but you didn’t think much of it, his parents were probably rich. He had a black eye too but he told you it was from his martial arts classes and you believed him because it seemed like a genuine excuse. You had explored almost every surface of the giant campus and surprisingly had a lot of fun, it was refreshing to find someone with the same hobby as you. You called it a day at around 6pm, your class having finished at 4pm. You said goodbye and went home, determined to eat the cereal you had been craving. After saying goodbye, you went home to your eerily quiet apartment, you missed Henry.

“So, how’s college going?” You were eating with your sister who had finally found time for you in her extremely busy schedule. “It’s fine, I hate Professor Golden though.” She laughed, almost choking on her food so you passed her the cup of water. “Thanks. I totally remember hating Professor Golden too, we all made jokes about his last name.” You laughed a little before returning to your food. A thick tension grew in the air, your talks with her were always silent and awkward. You had very little in common.

“I can’t believe my baby sister is already a college freshman.” She cooed at you and you couldn’t help but laugh. She was almost 3 years older but sometimes she made it feel like 13. “Any college guys you find cute?” Your brain stopped working for a moment and you were unsure if you should tell her. “Come on, you can tell me.” She tried to pry it out of you while you just nervously smiled, trying to avoid her questions. Eventually, you gave up because it wasn’t like her to give up on gossip. “I think I like Jungkook.” Her face dropped dramatically and it made you panic a little. “Miri, what’s wrong?” She held your hand and looked at you sympathetically. “Y/N, he’s a werewolf.” She said something that wasn’t new to you. You’d repeated this to yourself far too many times to count. “I know. I’m not expecting anything to happen, I didn’t even expect this to happen it just did. Besides, I’m not in love with him, I’ll get over it.” You felt judged under her stare but you knew she meant well, no matter how harshly she came off sometimes. “Well, he rejected my advances so I really don’t think he’d be interested in you. I’m sorry, Y/N.”

Miri said stupid things often. She lacked the emotional filter behind her words and offended people a lot. You grew thick skin thanks to her but this was where you drew the line. Your entire life you felt lesser than her and she promised you that she’d never do anything to make you feel that way and yet here she was, making you feel like you’ll never amount to her prestige. “Sorry, I need to get back I forgot I had a paper due by 5.” You left a $50 bill on the table and left before she could say anything else to potentially worsen the low blow she just gave you. You felt bad for walking away so abruptly, but you were not in the mood to argue with her, not again.

Unfortunately, your plans of moping on the couch all day were ruined when Jungkook had come over after hearing about the failure of a lunch with your sister, however, you spared him the details. “I bought a bag of junk food, McDonald’s and a whole pack of banana milk.” You smiled at him thankfully from your sad position on the couch which you were sure you were chemically bonded with now. “Did you get popcorn?” He was sorting through the bags before turning to you. “And risk dying via microwave? No thanks.” You laughed before getting up to join him. “Wait till I tell your pack that their alpha is scared of microwaves.” He gasped before clasping his heart dramatically. “You wouldn’t dare.” He started chuckling straight after, an adorable smile on his face.

You watched like 3 movies already and Jungkook was yet to feel sleepy, you, however, were seconds away from passing out. You were both on the couch, legs intermingled under the blanket, your head on his shoulder. It was your first time being this intimate with him and you hated how good it felt. “Jungkook, I’m sleepy.” You looked up at him and he smiled sweetly, forcing you to immediately look away. So, much for ‘getting over it’. “I’ll get going then.” He stood up to stretch, you following him. He grabbed his things off of your coffee table and walked to the door.

“Jungkook, wait!” He turned around as he watched you come towards the door with the pack of banana milk. He fought back a smile as you dropped it into his arms. “Take it, you like them more than I do now.” He chuckled as he watched your eyes intently. “Thank you.” You smiled back at him before realising he was staring at you. Your smile fell as you stared back. “What? Is there something on my face?” You moved your hand to go over your face and he shook his head through hushed laughter. “Goodnight, Y/N.” He had just opened the door when you called out his name and once he turned, you kissed him. He didn’t pull away, just stood there in shock, you first to pull away actually and a flood of regret came crashing into your head immediately after. “Jungkook, I’m so sorry-” Before you could finish he was out the door and you cursed yourself for your spontaneous impulses.

Jungkook had ignored what had happened miraculously, even during your apology he seemed unbothered. He probably felt bad for you but you were just glad he wasn’t mad or upset, besides, now you could truly focus on trying to get over him. You spent most of the day working on your study notes, trying to memorise stuff as best you could. By the time you stopped, it was already 8pm and you had skipped both lunch and dinner. You scavenged your fridge to look for something edible and settled on a pudding cup. College Y/N was doing great.

At around 9, you got a knock on your door which you cautiously went to answer, after seeing that it was Jungkook through the eyehole you opened the door to let him in, strangely, he was really angry. “What the fuck is this, Y/N?” He held out his phone of you to show a picture of you smiling, the sender being Berlin. “It’s a picture of me, how do you know Berlin? Are you friends?” Your lighthearted tone made Jungkook realise it wasn’t your fault that Berlin decided to get to you and that there was no way you could have known. “Y/N, Berlin is the alpha of the pack I took over, he’s messing with you to get to me.” You were mostly shocked but you also felt a little upset. You genuinely thought he was your friend. “I don’t want you anywhere near him, he’s dangerous.” You shook your head a little. “Sure he may be a little mad at you but we’re friends, I-” “I mean it, nowhere near him.” You held your hand out for him to pass his phone over so you could double-check that it was Berlin. You compared the number to the one on your phone to realise that it was indeed him. “You have his number already, fuck Y/N.” Your face hardened before you turned to him. “Sorry, I don’t have a ‘wolf’s intuition.’” You added air quotes for effect which he didn’t quite appreciate.

You noticed his wet hair and his gym bag. “Did you just finish training? Jungkook it’s nearly 10pm.” He shrugged, grabbing his phone back from you and crash landing onto your couch. You couldn’t help but wonder how he could look so beautiful all the time. Sure, you always knew that he was good-looking but it felt like you were looking at a completely different man than high-school-Jungkook. He had endearing eyes, they could look so wide at moments and so closeted in others. His lips were soft, perfectly contrasting his sharp jaw, complementing each other beautifully. He was incredibly alluring in so many ways and it was impossible to escape it, no matter how hard you tried.

Jungkook held onto his shoulder, seeming like he was trying to soothe it from pain. You got up from your seat across from him and moved to stand behind him, taking over his hands and rubbing his shoulder for him. “Fuck, you’re good at this.” You hummed in agreement before laughing jokingly. “I am, right? They should call me Dr Bones.” He leaned his head forward to give you more access, ignoring your joke. You could physically feel how tense his muscles were and it made you worry a lot. Jungkook was the type who could work himself to death, stare at his dead body and still claim that he didn’t work hard enough. “Stop, or I’ll fall asleep. Thank you though.” He got up and grabbed his bag from the floor and made his way to the door. He turned around right before he left. “Y/N. I mean it, stay away from Berlin.” You nodded but you weren’t sure how you were supposed to just start avoiding him without seeming suspicious, besides, he was your only photography friend.

“Hey, Y/N!” Berlin took the seat next to yours like he had been this past week, you didn’t say anything about it because you thought it would be fine but you did begin to regret it when he started whispering to you. “Why so quiet?” You gulped while playing with your camera bag. “I just didn’t get much sleep.” He nodded though you were sure he didn’t believe you. “Meet me behind this building after class. It’s important.” You probably shouldn’t have agreed and you probably shouldn’t have followed through with it but you did because you were an idiot. “You’ve been quiet. Jungkook told you, didn’t he?” You were playing with the sleeves of your jumper when you nodded, he sighed in return. “He took away my pack, my position, it seemed only right that I take something of his.” You gave him a pointed glare, staring at him without a wave of newfound anger.

“I’m a person if you haven’t realised. Not a pawn in your stupid scheme for vengeance. Whatever you have with Jungkook is between you and him, don’t drag me into this.” You were about to walk back but he stopped you, blocking your way with his arm. “Y/N, don’t make me hurt you. All I want is for you to tell Jungkook to back down from my pack.” You smiled with feigned innocence. “Why don’t you tell him? I thought alphas were supposed to be brave…or did Jungkook take your balls too?” Berlin pinned you against the wall, his hands around the collar of your jumper. “You don’t wanna fight me, Y/N.” You pushed his arms off of you, straightening out your clothes. “You’re right, I don’t but since you so gracefully shared with me your perspective, I feel like I have to.” He laughed mockingly before leaning down to stare directly at your face. “And how do you plan on beating a werewolf?” You smiled again, so sweetly it made Berlin sick. In all honesty, you were terrified. If he called on your bluff this would turn into a complete shit-show, you had no fighting experience, you were all bark and absolutely no bite.

“I’m going to fucking kill you.” Before you could decipher where the voice came from Berlin was leaning against the wall against you in pain after the fresh punch to his face from Jungkook. When Jungkook’s eyes locked with yours, he cocked his head to the side. “Go.” You would have protested but his face kind of scared you. You walked away, looking over your shoulder every few steps to make sure no one was dead.

“What the fuck were you thinking? Y/N has nothing to do with this.” “But she does, doesn’t she…?” Berlin started and Jungkook eyes narrowed. “She’s going to find out eventually and then she’ll hate you for not telling her.” Jungkook grabbed him by the collar while he was still against the wall. “If she finds out, it won’t be from you.” He let Berlin go roughly and glared at him before walking away. “She’s going to hate you, you know!” Berlin screamed but Jungkook continued walking away, unsure of how Berlin even found out about Jungkook’s secret.

“Stripes or no stripes?” Jungkook was making you choose between his endless collection of ties and you were so bored you started counting the dots on a polka-dotted one. “Y/N!” You snapped back into reality and faced him with a sheepish smile. “Sorry…no stripes, makes you look more mysterious.” He nodded before putting his stripped ties to the side. “Why are you so stressed about this dinner, anyway? It’s just my family and your family in some fancy restaurant talking about the same boring things over and over.” Jungkook desperately wanted to tell you what had changed but he couldn’t, not yet. “No reason, I just want to impress your parents.” You gave him a scrutinising look and he just avoided it. “Since when do you care about impressing anyone?” He sighed before snatching his polka-dot tie out of your hands. “Go get ready, we’re going to be late.”

“Take the next left…and the destination should be on your right.” You spoke while mocking the navigator which just made Jungkook stare at you weirdly. “I’m bad with directions, I live off of this thing.” You held up your phone to gesture to the navigation app before getting out of his car. “Do I look okay?” He asked nervously and you looked at him, he looked much better than okay. He was clad in slacks and a dress shirt, no tie to your distaste. You remembered arguing with him after he had chosen to not wear a tie after all your efforts. His hair was getting longer but you loved it, especially the way he had styled it that night, not to mention the fact that he had his sleeves rolled up and his top few buttons open. You stopped yourself from staring too long by nodding. “Do I look okay?” Your eyes morphed into offended ones when he winced. You scoffed out loud but he just laughed at your reaction. “I’m kidding, you look great nerd, now move it, we’re already 15 minutes late.” You rolled your eyes, mumbling as you walked in. “Maybe if you didn’t make me spend 40 minutes helping you choose a tie…” He elbowed you slightly, reaching the reception desk and asking about your reservation, once you had taken a seat everyone, including Henry, had their eyes on the two of you.

“Sorry, we’re late,” Jungkook commented, shaking your parent's hands as he sat down. “Wardrobe malfunction.” You joked as you secretly pointed at him. Everyone laughed a little and you were glad you had relieved some of the tension. You saw your brother the day before and boy did he have a lot to tell you, he seemed so excited about this dinner and you were still yet to know why. Now that you were here it seemed like everyone knew something you didn’t.

“How’s college going, made any friends?” Jungkook’s mother asked, directing it at you. You choked because of the sudden question and scoffed down half the glass of water. “College is fine, I haven’t really been focused on making friends.” She nodded, Songwook laughing before joining in. “I wish Jungkook was the same. He befriended half the entire campus on the first day!” Everyone laughed while Jungkook shook his head jokingly, your mom suddenly called your name. “Y/N, could you grab me another napkin dear, I already spilled wine on mine. Clumsy me!” She giggled but it seemed fake, you wondered why she didn’t just ask a waiter to do it. You stood up to grab one from the desk nonetheless.

The moment you left your mother leaned in. “Tell us, Jungkook, does she know?” He shook his head, his father joining in. “I’m glad you suggested we make Jungkook befriend her, otherwise we would have never found out.” “Found out what?” Your mom gasped when you were behind her, napkin in hand. The entire table was silent. “Wait...you forced Jungkook to befriend me? Do you think I’m that intolerable?” Jungkook rubbed his palms over his face, the inevitable was coming. “Y/N, we just know how you struggle with making friends and we thought it would be better to start you off with one,” Miri spoke this time with a tantalising tone.

“So the whole tutor thing, that was a part of this as well? That’s why you were so mad at me about telling my dad that you were ignoring me? Because you didn’t want to fake being my friend?” You directed the question at Jungkook that time and he tried to apologise but you stopped him. “This isn’t about my social skills, is it? You still pity me for being a human so you gave me a werewolf to make me feel better!” You were speaking in a hushed tone so you wouldn’t warrant any unwanted attention but internally all you wanted to do was scream. “Henry, did you know about this too?” When he didn’t reply you scoffed, throwing your hands up in defeat. “Y/N, darling, we-” Songwook had spoken this time but you were quick to cut him off. “Forget it. I’m leaving.” And with that, you grabbed your bag and left. “Y/N come back, I’m your ride.” Jungkook tried reasoning but you were still walking away, your pride clearly getting in the way of your rationality because walking 30 minutes in heels was not rational.

You stared at your sore feet in your Iron Man pyjamas as you cried to Spongebob, this wasn’t your proudest moment but you liked to think there were worse ways you could’ve handled the situation. Your family (Henry and your dad) kept blowing up your phone so you turned it off and sat not-so-peacefully on your weirdly comfortable couch. You heard a knock on the door and you didn’t open it, already knowing who was behind it. “Y/N, let me in please, I have your food.” The idea of opening the door to Jungkook seemed painful but you were also painfully hungry so you opened it anyway, snatching your food out of his hand. You tried to close the door but his foot jammed it and he pried it open with ease despite you using all your effort to keep it shut. You needed to start bulking.

After he got in, you gave up and went back to your couch where you wrapped the blanket back around you and continued watching TV, now with food in your hand. “Y/N, I’m sorry but you have to believe me, I genuinely wanted to be your friend ever since we had that first lunch together, I promise.” You didn’t reply, in fact, your reaction (more so the lack thereof) had him thinking he didn’t even say anything at all. He grabbed the remote from your table and turned off the TV. You gave him a fleeting glare but didn’t say anything else. “Y/N.” You didn’t react once again, eating your pasta with aggression. “Y/N, look at me.” He grabbed both of your shoulders so he could turn you to face him. “I mean it, I’m sorry about how it started but I promise I wanted to be your friend.” You put your foot down, your sadness overpowering your hunger. “Wanted is past tense, should I be worried?” You joked but the tear that slid down your face taunted you straight after. You wiped it quickly but before you knew it more were springing down. He moved his hand to softly wipe your tears away and let out a breath of relief when you didn’t flinch away.

“I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil. But these are so stop crying, nerd.” You darted your eyes up so quickly the blood rushed to your head. “Gandalf!” He smiled at how excited you were. “I don’t study fictional characters for fake friends, Y/N.” Your excitement fled a little but you smiled at him slightly. “There was a reason we had that dinner tonight.” Your smile fell and your face looked puzzled. “Why?” Jungkook took a deep breath before continuing. “If I tell you, you can’t get mad at me. I kept it from you because we all wanted to tell you tonight.” You nodded a little hesitantly, scared about what he was going to tell you.

“Y/N, remember that night you kissed me and I walked out?” You nodded, wincing at the memory. “That night, I found out you were my mate.” You inhaled so quickly you started choking. Jungkook pat your back though it seemed useless. Once your cough calmed down, you punched Jungkook on his arm harshly. “You asshole! I spent that entire night sulking because of you.” He laughed but your glare made him stop abruptly. He took both of your hands in his. “I panicked, I wasn’t expecting it to be you.” You thought he was disappointed so your smile turned into an apprehensive one. “Oh…” He grabbed your face by the chin and made you face him. “I wasn’t expecting it but I was so fucking glad it was.” You started feeling bashful under his gaze so you tried to avoid his eyes. “Is that why Berlin was so adamant on dragging me into your issue, did he know too? I let that bitch use my good camera!” Jungkook sighed at the memory of him but he nodded nonetheless. You jumped up from the couch quickly. “Wait, that means I can turn and then people can stop looking at me like I’m an alien!” Jungkook nodded, laughing at your random outburst. “Only if you want to though, you don’t have to decide that yet, we have time.”

He pulled you back to the couch, this time you landed on his lap. He wrapped his arm around your waist and you leaned your head on his chest. “You’re an ugly crier.” You sat up to frown at him but he just pulled you back to his chest. “I lied, it’s just because I never want to see you cry again.” You pinched his arm and he exclaimed loudly. “What was that for?” You laughed before cuddling into him again. “Insulting me for your selfish desires…wait I have pasta!” You sprung out of his lap to go back to eating your food, turning on the TV in the process and Jungkook wondered how he managed to get paired with someone quite as unique as you.

“I think you’re half-fish.” You said once you saw Jungkook after the swim meet. “If I was would you still love me?” You stopped walking to ponder before shaking your head. He cocked his eyebrow at you before you nodded in agreement with yourself. “I hate fish so, no. Unless you were like a merman, that would be hot. Wait but what if you turn into an actual fish then how-” He pulled you by the arm to continue walking to his car. “I was kidding, Y/N.” You were still stuck in thought. “Yes, but the premise is interesting.” He pinched your cheek in a surprise attack. “Remind me why I’m dating a nerd?” You shrugged before interlocking your hand with his. “Remind me why I’m dating a fish?” He gave you an unamused look which you instantly matched before laughing at him.

“Can I drive?” You asked, mustering the most convincing face you can create, already in the passenger seat. “No,” Jungkook replied sternly, hoping you’d let it go because his resolve was quick to disappear with you. “Please, I need to practice.” He frowned before whining childishly. “Y/N, this is a Mercedes Benz can’t you practice on a Toyota or something?” You rolled your eyes at his dramatic rejection but you came up with a better plan. “I don’t know anyone who drives a- wait, do you think your friend Hoseok would teach me? He drives a Toyota.” Jungkook gave you an annoyed look before begrudgingly exiting the car. You got out excitedly as you rushed to the driver's seat. “You’re evil, you know that?” He asked angrily and you nodded, giving him a kiss on the cheek which forced a smile out of him.

The second you started the engine he began tutting in disappointment. “What?” You turned to him annoyed but he just moved over you to grab the seatbelt, clasping it in place and giving you a kiss which you had to pull away from before it escalated. “I did that on purpose because I knew you would do it for me.” Jungkook just hummed in fake agreement but you paid it no mind. You always felt obnoxiously happy each time he kissed you and you were almost sure you’d never stop. “Jungkook?” He turned to expectantly before you gave him a beaming smile. “I love you, fish or human.” He turned away from you, annoyed at your random confession. “Just focus on the road, okay?” You nodded dutifully and about 5 minutes into your drive home, he randomly called your name. “What, did I turn 0.3 seconds too late?” You joked but he just stared at you.

“I love you too, nerd.”

#jungkook #jungkook imagines #jungkook fic #jungkook imagine #bts #bts fic #bts scenarios #bts imagines #werewolf jungkook #bangtan #bangtan fics #jungkook fics #bts fluff #bangtan fluff #bts angst #jungkook scenarios

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bisluthq · 4 years ago

Text

SS Tily does not lay claim to Lover; a thesis

I thought this would take me longer but y’all, I’m done with Part 2 of my Gaylor analyses. Unfortunately this chapter brings bad news for Tily nation. I honestly don’t think many of the songs on Lover are about that relationship. But I also think it’s not as simple as the mainstream Kaylor narrative would have us believe. Let’s dive into this, shall we?

First things first. I think it’s worth noting that many of the songs on this album are not about romantic relationships at all. Like it’s a bit of a marketing ploy to portray it as an album primarily about romantic love when so many songs explicitly aren’t about that feeling. In fact, there are more themes on Lover than on any of her earlier stuff - it’s something she expands on in folklore.

I Forgot That You Existed, The Man, The Archer (which I firmly believe is about her debating coming out), Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince (very obviously about the political situation generally and supported by the doccie title), London Boy, Soon You’ll Get Better, YNTCD, and ME! are all about explicitly different themes. Obviously there are a couple references within those (like ME! has that line about “I never leave well enough alone” which reappears on the 1, and The Archer mentions someone “staying” but I still think ME! is about self-love not romantic love and The Archer is about personal anxiety around identity). Fundamentally, they are not love songs.

I don’t think that’s really up for debate. The only one I can see anyone - say Toes or like hardcore Tily fans - debating is London Boy. Unfortunately for my Tily babes, I do think it’s satire that serves as a homage to Joe and the other British beards, and possibly riffs a teeny bit on her time with Lily. Contrary to some gold medalists in Kaylor mental gymnastics, I fully believe Tay does make reference to Joe in her lyrics (I’ve mentioned the fictional verse for Dress and the reference to “keeping him” in Ready for It). This really doesn’t have any of the hallmarks of Tily songs off of Rep. The British references in CIWYW, KOMH and Delicate are subtle and chilled and actually quite cute. London Boy is an onslaught of non-sequiturs about London, the UK and her beards. Also “stories from uni” fits both Joe and Tom H, but it doesn’t fit Lily who never went to university. All her Lily songs are about hiding out in private; London Boy is all about galavanting around town with “his” friends (Lily and Tay had the same friends though?) It’s simply not about the same person or the same relationship.

I do think there’s a chance it could be poking fun (lightly) at Lily/that period she spent in London because as I’ve already said I think Tay is not above shading ex-girlfriends and it seems like the kind of thing Karlie would’ve also found a bit funny. I think when she got back together with Karlie - which almost definitely happened - she would’ve 100% laughed about the “say you fancy me not fancy stuff” era. That would explain the recurrence of both Motown and queen imagery, which first appeared on KOMH. But where KOMH felt very genuine and authentic, this one is obviously meant to be funny.

Right. So. Now that we’ve established 8 songs are about other themes, let’s get the Kaylor songs sorted: Cruel Summer, Cornelia Street, DBATC, False God and Daylight are all undeniably about Karlie fucking Kloss. They all feature the images and tropes and hallmarks that pepper Karlie songs. They all have the same kinds of emotions. And they paint a pretty sad, troubling and complex picture.

Cruel Summer comes first and seems to mostly be about their first breakup, which she first referred to on DWOHT. We have Tay once again begging Karlie to stay and work it out and not being certain for sure about her feelings.

We say that we'll just screw it up in these trying times

We're not trying (Oh yeah, you're right, I want it)

I mean that’s super sad. Tay’s saying they discussed how they’ll fuck it all up, and she’s feeling like they’re not even trying to fix things. You also have that “I want it” which is interesting considering the “we” that preceded it. “We’re” not trying because only “I want it”. Ouch.

Killing me slow, out the window

I'm always waiting for you to be waiting below

Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

What doesn't kill me makes me want you more

And it's new, the shape of your body

It's blue, the feeling I've got

And it's ooh, whoa oh

It's a cruel summer

It's cool, that's what I tell 'em

No rules in breakable heaven

But ooh, whoa oh

It's a cruel summer

With you

Here we have “I’m always waiting for you” which yet again suggests Tay is the one who’s more invested. Then we have the shape of “your” body (which is a familiar concept from Dress), but the feeling it gives her here is blue here not gold - maybe that’s why the shape is new? In the past Karlie’s body made her feel golden but now it’s a bluer, sadder feeling. Blue starts recurring more frequently on these late era Kaylor songs. There’s a possible alternate reading, which is blue = Swiftgron (“my love had been frozen deep blue”). It’s a nice theory but it just doesn’t gel with the garden gate below. Also, while both relationships seem to have been colored by commitment issues, the premise of unrequitedness doesn’t really feature on the songs about Di. She asks Di to stay, tells her she’s thinking of her, and they’re “too in love to think straight” but Tay never says Karlie loves her back. Ever. It’s never expressly mutual.

I'm drunk in the back of the car

And I cried like a baby coming home from the bar (Oh)

Said, "I'm fine," but it wasn't true

I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you

And I snuck in through the garden gate

Every night that summer just to seal my fate (Oh)

And I scream, "For whatever it's worth

I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?"

He looks up, grinning like a devil

Look at that fourth line. It perfectly fits with the Kaylor narrative on Rep and it doesn’t fit the Tily songs at all. She wanted to keep that second relationship private and secret and hidden. And here she’s saying “I don’t want to keep secrets” - this is take two of “I don’t want you like a best friend”. Also the “for whatever it’s worth” reminds me of “here’s the truth” from End Game. It’s the kind of thing you’d say in the midst of a fight.

Then we have her screaming “I love you” and receiving no reply as usual beyond a devilish grin. The more I do these analyses the less I understand how or why Kaylor gets romanticized in the way it does, while Swiftgron gets bashed for toxicity. Like my girl Tay has a thing for chaotic lesbians with commitment issues and Kaylor seems like it was WILD.

Back to the lyrics, this time let’s look at Kaylor anthem Cornelia Street:

We were in the backseat

Drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar

"I rent a place on Cornelia Street"

I say casually in the car

We were a fresh page on the desk

Filling in the blanks as we go

As if the street lights pointed in an arrowhead

Leading us home

I find this whole song really interesting because it features one of Tay’s favorite ideas - glamorizing normal people things. It’s like the time with the “motel bar” in Getaway Car. Like she 100% was thrilled to be able to say “I’m renting this apartment” - never mind that it’s basically a whole ass house. I actually think the above verse is really beautiful. I know I give Kaylor a lot of shit but obviously there were beautiful moments and Tay had/has plenty of good memories.

And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name

And baby, I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

I mean frankly this verse above is super insecure in the standard Kaylor way. Tay’s saying she’s terrified of Karlie walking away and that she “hopes” she never loses her. The tone is sad, forlorn and a little desperate. I also think it’s interesting that she says she’d never walk Cornelia Street again, and that the city screams Karlie’s name and then on hoax she goes ahead and says she left a part of herself back in New York. It’s almost like her fears and anxieties did prove justified. Poor baby.

Windows flung right open, autumn air

Jacket 'round my shoulders is yours

We bless the rains on Cornelia Street

Memorize the creaks in the floor

Back when we were card sharks, playing games

I thought you were leading me on

I packed my bags, left Cornelia Street

Before you even knew I was gone

But then you called, showed your hand

I turned around before I hit the tunnel

Sat on the roof, you and I

Those first four lines seem to be about the good again, and I’m happy for them. I really do think they had good times. Those four lines make me think of parts of YAIL and the toast and weekends and stuff.

The rest of this verse though seems to be about the first split and subsequent reunion. “I thought you were leading me on” she says, and I “left Cornelia Street” presumably to go to London. But then Karlie called her back, “showed her hand” and Tay “turned around” before she reached the point of no return and they worked it out. “Sat on the roof, you and I” is similar in content to “up on the roof with a schoolgirl crush” but very different in tone. She’s not peppy here, she’s not positive. It’s a little bit tortured - and then it continues with “hoping it never ends”. The reappearance of the Tily imagery on Kaylor 2.0 songs makes sense to me, again, because discussing exes in the same social circle as you is just blatant lesbian culture. It makes complete sense that these two women are on Taylor’s mind. She has really really deep feelings for Karlie but she enjoyed the more simple and straightforward relationship she had with Lily.

DBATC is the Kaylor 1.0 breakup anthem:

Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts

Flashbacks waking me up

I get drunk, but it's not enough

'Cause the morning comes and you're not my baby

I look through the windows of this love

Even though we boarded them up

Chandelier's still flickering here

'Cause I can't pretend it's okay when it's not

It's death by a thousand cuts

We have her getting drunk to forget, trying to say “I’m fine” when it’s not true, and just generally missing Karlie.

I dress to kill my time, I take the long way home

I mean, this is Cornelia Street (“never walk here again”) and Dress all over again. It’s the two ideas from before but now on the other side, because they’re actually broken up.

And what once was ours is no one's now

I see you everywhere, the only thing we share

Is this small town

You said it was a great love, one for the ages

But if the story's over, why am I still writing pages?

“I see you everywhere” is very “this city screams your name” and I think “small town” is a metaphor for their social circle. The last two lines are just Tay being hung up on Karlie. She was writing pages in Cornelia Street as well, so this whole idea of telling a story with Karlie is another recurrent image.

My heart, my hips, my body, my love

Tryna find a part of me that you didn't touch

Gave up on me like I was a bad drug

Now I'm searching for signs in a haunted club

Our songs, our films, united, we stand

Our country, guess it was a lawless land

Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand

Paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans

My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust

Tryna find a part of me you didn't take up

Gave you so much, but it wasn't enough

But I'll be alright, it's just a thousand cuts

I mean this is the usual obsession, desperation and general pining Tay has for Karlie. We also have Karlie touching her briefly, which is something she has spoken about before and is really into. Paper-thin plans is probably about the plans to make it work? We have that image reparations later in hoax so I think it’s most likely about Karlie bailing on Tay’s PR game and doing her own thing and/or Karlie’s (accidental?) involvement in the masters heist.

Also, this whole song is very sad but it’s not on the level of desperation I would expect if Tay wasn’t rebounding hard and if they didn’t reunite. She’s pretty sad about how the whole thing went down but she does say she’ll “be alright” which is the opposite of “that’s the kind of heartbreak time could never mend”. I think she wrote this after the first breakup and Cornelia Street came later, after they were back together. That’s when she really went all in into this relationship. It still wasn’t enough.

False God is about their reunion:

We were crazy to think

Crazy to think that this could work

Remember how I said I'd die for you?

We were stupid to jump

In the ocean separating us

Remember how I'd fly to you?

We know Tay ran away to Europe after the mess of 2016 and here she jumps into the ocean separating them and flies back to Karlie. The idea of it being “crazy” that it could work is also a recurrent fear/anxiety she has with regards to Karlie. “I had a bad feeling,” remember?

And I can't talk to you when you're like this

Staring out the window like I'm not your favorite town

I'm New York City, I still do it for you, babe

They all warned us about times like this

They say the road gets hard and you get lost

When you're led by blind faith, blind faith

They’re figuring things out, and Tay is New York - Karlie’s favorite city. “I still do it for you” is an admission of affection, which rarely happens in Kaylor songs, but it’s so sexual that I don’t find it shocking or out of character.

But we might just get away with it

Religion's in your lips

Even if it's a false god

We'd still worship

We might just get away with it

The altar is my hips

Even if it's a false god

We'd still worship this love

I mean sex songs are just peak Kaylor and this is all just so so so gay and I don’t understand how hets can make it make srnse. “We might just get away with it” is the usual Kaylor anxiety by the way.

I know heaven's a thing

I go there when you touch me, honey

Hell is when I fight with you

But we can patch it up good

Make confessions and we're begging for forgiveness

Got the wine for you

And you can't talk to me when I'm like this

Daring you to leave me just so I can try and scare you

You're the West Village

You still do it for me, babe

They all warned us about times like this

They say the road gets hard and you get lost

When you're led by blind faith, blind faith

Standard Kaylor imagery with sensual touching, wine and New York and a direct reference to Karlie’s apartment. I think “make confessions and we’re begging for forgiveness” appears to refer to the reunion.

Daylight is a very beautiful love song for Karlie. The “golden”, the bodies intertwining, New York, and the depth of her emotions all fit the Kaylor story and narrative. I think she wrote this when they were back together. It’s also, as is common with the Kaylor songs, squarely from Tay’s perspective. She wrote it alone, and I think specifically for Karlie when they reunited. Very pretty, very nice. I mean they ended up breaking up and that was bound to happen in like every other song but when they were good Tay did create some gems and they were very happy. I love this song and I do like aspects of Kaylor’s time together.

Now we get onto the songs that don’t neatly fit Kaylor.

Afterglow could be a Kaylor song. But it could also be about the breakup with her rebound. It’s not only by Tay, so we’re looking for broad themes rather than specifics necessarily.

Hey, it's all me, in my head

I'm the one who burned us down

But it's not what I meant

Sorry that I hurt you

I don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this to you (Ooh)

I don't wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you (Ooh)

I need to say, hey, it's all me, just don't go

Meet me in the afterglow

I don’t know that this sounds like the Kaylor breakup we heard about. It’s a different premise to False God, DBATC and Cornelia Street. In all of those songs it was a mutual breakup/misunderstanding. “I can’t talk to you” and then “you can’t talk to me” in False God is a two-way communication issue. DBATC goes off at Karlie for taking up every part of her and “giving up on me”. Cornelia Street said Tay thought Karlie was “leading her on” but that was resolved. Then Afterglow goes and lays all the blame on Tay.

I lived like an island, punished you with silence

Went off like sirens, just crying

Why'd I have to break what I love so much?

It's on your face, don't walk away, I need to say

Hey, it's all me, in my head

I'm the one who burned us down

I mean this really does sound like it’s Tay fucking up badly. Not wanting to let the other person in, taking it out on them, hurting her lover.

It's so excruciating to see you low

Just wanna lift you up and not let you go

This ultraviolet morning light below

Tells me this love is worth the fight, oh

This really doesn’t sound like the Kaylor fear and stress. It sounds like the cerebral and emotional connection from Rep. “It’s so excruciating to see you low” seems tied up with the heart to hearts and conversations she was having in those secondary songs on Rep.

Tell me that you're still mine

Tell me that we'll be just fine

Even when I lose my mind

I need to say

Tell me that it's not my fault

Tell me that I'm all you want

Even when I break your heart

I need to say

This just seems like a very different plan for fixing things than the one outlined in the Kaylor songs (which is “let’s bone”). Also “I break your heart” is an anxiety that seems to parallel the burgeoning love in Delicate, KOMH and CIWYW. It doesn’t seem like a Kaylor fear because Tay is always the one who wants Karlie more. I believe this is mostly a Tily breakup song.

Then we get the three happy songs on the album: Lover, I Think He Knows and Paper Rings. It’s actually pretty intense that there are only three peppy, romantic songs on an album largely touted by Gaylors and Hetlors alike as being about a happy long term relationship.

You want my controversial explanation for these songs? They’re fictional. All three are extremely vague and lacking in any of the Karlie/other person imagery. They’re like New Year’s Day and some of the early stuff.

I Think He Knows is a very hetro song. It physically pains me to say that, it really does, but nothing about it seems gay to me. I guess “boyish look” is something you could say about some women but that’s really a reach. Also it’s just very much not a relatable lesbian emotion. I’ve never met a queer woman being like “yeah I think she KNOWS, you know?” about her girlfriend. “She’s so obsessed with me and boy I understand” would make no sense. Us sapphics are compulsive overthinkers. And that’s what comes across on all her songs about Karlie and about Di and even those Tily songs from Rep. That’s largely why Tay’s stuff is so damn gay.

Tay’s permanently anxious - even on her love songs, there’s a thread of anxiety running through it all. This song is missing any of that anxiety. This song also has so, so many male pronouns…. And “I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans” is an objectively weird thing to say about a relationship. It just doesn’t strike me as sapphic, and it definitely doesn’t strike me as being about Karlie lr Lily or Di. Also Nashville is 16th Avenue and I don’t know why any of the women would be associated with Nashville.

That Nashville reference makes me think that maybe the song is inspired by the music industry generally? If you go look at 16th Avenue by Lacy J. Dalton, there’s a clear narrative about the music industry. I think it’s possible that Tay’s song is referencing the love she feels for and from the music industry and her fans. That would tie into the architectural plans, being 17 (she often speaks about being stuck at that age because it’s when she got famous), and “he’s so obsessed with me” makes sense when you’re AOTD. Even the “attitude” line makes sense in this interpretation.

This bit:

Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh

We can follow the sparks, I'll drive

Lyrical smile, indigo eyes, hand on my thigh

We can follow the sparks, I'll drive

"So where we gonna go?"

I whisper in the dark

"Where we gonna go?"

I think he knows

Is a little harder to make sense of and seems like it could maybe be about Lily or at least inspired by her - there’s the car/driving theme from the secondary Rep relationship and Lily does have indigo eyes (they’re way bluer than Joe’s). So maybe she used images and diaries from that period to add to the story about Nashville? But overall this smugness just doesn’t strike me as very gay and in general the song doesn’t seem to be about any one woman in her history. Also “better lock it down or I won’t stick around” is so very hetro and like… untortured.

Paper Rings is not about Karlie but I also don’t think it’s about Lily.

The moon is high

Like your friends were the night that we first met

Went home and tried to stalk you on the internet

Now I've read all of the books beside your bed

The wine is cold

Like the shoulder that I gave you in the street

Cat and mouse for a month or two or three

Now I wake up in the night and watch you breathe

This is not about Karlie. We’ve heard repeatedly that they fell in love at first sight so “month or two or three” is kinda wild? Like they full on U-Hauled it with the Big Sur trip and Tay moving to New York and Karlie basically moving into her apartment. They were never cat and mouse? Also Karlie was a supermodel by the time they met one another so “trying to stalk you on the internet” seems a bit of an odd way to phrase it. There would’ve been plenty to find. They both had big reputations. Moreover, they had multiple mutual friends so “your friends” is also an odd turn of phrase. How does this verse fit any aspect of the Kaylor love story?

In the winter, in the icy outdoor pool

When you jumped in first, I went in too

I'm with you even if it makes me blue

Which takes me back

To the color that we painted your brother's wall

Honey, without all the exes, fights, and flaws

We wouldn't be standing here so tall, so

This is also very not Kaylor lol except for the tall part. The chilled out hanging out and swimming and wall painting sounds more like the songs about Tily on Rep.

I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings

Uh huh, that's right

Darling, you're the one I want, and

I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this

Uh huh, that's right

Darling, you're the one I want

In paper rings in picture frames in dirty dreams

Oh, you're the one I want

This seems like it could be Tily because of the “we went from friends to this” (Kaylor were never friends, and had no intention of being friends, they’ve literally only ever dated). But I’m not sure Tay ever wanted to marry Lily? That’s not what comes across in the other Tily songs.

I want to drive away with you

I want your complications too

I want your dreary Mondays

Wrap your arms around me, baby boy

The driving and the chilledness is similar to the Tily songs but I’m still not sold. It really doesn’t feel particularly authentic.

Also, I know I mostly do lyric analysis but I’d like to include this quote from Tay about the song: “This song talks about true love, and if you really find true love, you probably don't really care what the symbolism of that love is. Material things wouldn't matter to you anymore if you found someone that you just wanted to live your life with.” The quote is distinctly hypothetical. “You probably don’t really care” “wouldn’t” “if you found”....

My gut says this is based around positive romantic relationships she has had but is extrapolated to a rosy conclusion. One day, Tay’s gonna want to marry someone with paper rings. But for now it’s a fictional hypothetical. None of the details fit any of her relationships. It’s made up. That’s why it includes the “baby boy” line... because it’s fiction.

And now for the really hot take… Lover is equally made up, although she was - again - inspired by her real relationships.

We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January

This is our place, we make the rules

And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear

Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?

This is continuing the themes from New Year’s Day which always strikes me as a “what if” rather than an actual ode to one of the muses. That final line seems like it could be about Karlie but the absolute calmness with which she sings makes it seem like it’s not about her. The mysterious way is also a brand new image and considering how much she sings about Karlie you would’ve thought we’d have had that image at least once before?

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out and take me home

You're my, my, my, my

Lover

I mean this doesn’t sound like Kaylor. Part of the anxiety there is always about going places together and being seen. It does have bits that seem like Tily to me; “take me out and take me home” kind of reminds me of the “meet me in the back” and “can we always be this close” seems similar to “is it chill that you’re in my head?”

We could let our friends crash in the living room

This is our place, we make the call

And I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you

I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all

The first three lines could be about either Karlie or Lily although I don’t know if Tily had “their place”. Kaylor definitely did.

That last line… is kinda why I think this is mostly fiction. I mean we know it doesn’t make sense for Toe. We know that. And I know about the gymnastics to fit it as a Kaylor song. But the thing is, even if she wrote it around the time that they went away to Wyoming, why wouldn’t she update it when recording it? It literally doesn’t fit the Toe timeline so it can’t be that she wanted it for that. She could’ve made it vague. But no she says “three summers”. Where else have we heard about “three summers”?

September saw a month of tears

And thankin' God that you weren't here

To see me like that

But in a box beneath my bed

Is a letter that you never read

From three summers back

It's hard not to find it all a little bitter sweet

That’s from Tim McGraw.

She just likes that image. It recurs. It’s not about Karlie, and it’s not about Lily, and it’s obviously not about Joe. It’s just a pretty turn of phrase. She loves counting in summers and Cruel Summers and the summer in Betty/august…. It’s not something she associates with one person.

Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?

With every guitar string scar on my hand

I take this magnetic force of a man to be my

Lover

My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue

All's well that ends well to end up with you

Swear to be over-dramatic and true to my

Lover

This whole wedding bit doesn’t make sense for either Kaylor or Tily or Swiftgron. Like she’s constantly questioning Karlie’s commitment to her. And you want me to believe she’s singing vows? Lol no.

And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me

And at every table, I'll save you a seat

Lover

Very cute. Very non-specific. Not about any one partner.

So this supposed ode/serenade to Karlie doesn’t feature any of the images associated with her and doesn’t include any details that actively fit their relationship arc as described elsewhere except for jealousy and possibly love at first sight.

These three peppy love songs - which make up the minority of songs on the album - are about Taylor’s manifestations for the future. ITHK could be about the industry more generally. The other two are describing what she wants and what she pictures as ideal for a relationship.

So conclusions: a large chunk of the songs on Lover aren’t about romance. Many, many are about Karlie. Afterglow could be about Lily and some of the regrets Tay had about the split. Paper Rings, I Think He Knows and Lover aren’t about anyone in particular.

Last thought: I agree that It’s Nice To Have a Friend is about lesbians generally. But also possibly about Karlie, in which case the final verse is Karlie choosing the marriage with Josh and in that case the song is fucking devastating and heartbreaking. But tbh a lot about Kaylor is so it’s no surprise 🤷🏻‍♀️

---------------------------------------------------

As usual, I’m up to discuss this. Do you agree? Disagree? Let’s talk! xx

#tily nation where you at #tily #taylorswift #lyric analysis #lover #taylor swift #gaylor swift #kaylor #lover analysis

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patrick-hockstutter · 5 years ago

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If you decide to write bowers gang fan fiction again, could you do like a “bowers gang quarantine” basically what it be like being quarantined with them. I know it’s modern but like still

Y O we doin this right THE FUCK now. And I love the idea of doing this modern day! I actually got a modern Bowers Gang request ages ago that I always wanted to do but never got around to, so I’ll mix it in with this! (and maybe do it after this, who knows, quarantine got me feelin’ some type of way...)

Victor:

This boy is so easily stressed out that he’s in constant need of a soothing activity to keep his mind busy

So you immediately introduce him to the world of face masks and bubble baths

And it’s like this boy has t r a n s f o r m e d

He’s constantly just GLOWING

But he still needs to keep his brain busy, face mask on and ready to go

Victor is an Animal Crossing baby right now

If he goes anywhere, his turquoise switch lite is always in hand

Everything going on has got him so stressed out, so he focuses 100% on his island (which is fucking beautiful at this point)

He then convinces you to get the game and a coral switch lite, and you also get to the point where you can’t put it down

The two of you can be found laying in bed all day visiting each other's islands, filling up your museums, and paying off your loans to Nook

(wearing face masks)

When he’s not playing Animal Crossing, he’s channeling all his energy into his doodles

With some encouragement from you, he starts streaming his art on Twitch and surprisingly gets a pretty good following

You love seeing all the support he’s getting on social media but you juuuuuuust can’t help yourself...

So you post a picture of him laying in bed, playing Animal Crossing with a bright green face mask on and his hair pushed back on Instagram

He’s embarrassed at first, but it eventually gets turned into a relatable meme and he honestly is quite proud of that

It can now be seen as a custom emote for his Twitch subscribers

(and as your phone lock screen)

Belch:

Honestly couldn’t be happier to be on government mandated lockdown

(especially with you)

Belch is such a homebody so he is in complete bliss rn

The two of you spend most days snuggling, snacking, binging shows on Netflix and watching conspiracy theories on YouTube

Y’all watch so much tv at this point that you’ve actually moved the mattress into the living room and made it into a deluxe blanket fort

The two of you swore to start cooking more since you couldn’t go to restaurants anymore, but damn did Domino’s have some good ass coupons...

Long story short, you ordered pizzas more times than you’d care to admit

But whatever, self care, am I right???

Belch also used this time as an excuse to force you to learn about cars

He always said that if you were gonna drive one, you’d need to know how to fix it

You’d always figure out how to cute your way out of it, but not this time

There was n o e s c a p e

He taught you to change your tires, headlights, oil, brake pads, check all your fluids, the air filter, E V E R Y T H I N G

By the time Belch was done with you, you were basically ready to open up your own auto shop

But then it was straight back to the blanket fort

And although Belch was straight vibin’ in quarantine, god did he miss driving

So he would take you on these nice midnight drives

Sure, he would blast music as loud as he could, but it was so relaxing to look at the stars and the occasional deer that passed by

Henry:

Absolutely follows 0 of the rules at first

He’ll go to the grocery store if he damn well pleases whenever he damn well pleases

Even if he doesn’t need or want anything, the big ‘fuck you’ to government orders is enough for him

At first he just lounged around all day watching tv, but he finally started to get bored

So he started sneaking out of his house and into your bedroom despite the lockdown order

And as much as you wanted him with you, you refused to let him inside

You were a goody two shoes, what could you say? (but of course this is why Henry was drawn to you; he got off on tainting you any way he could)

So he persisted, but you could tell he was doing it mostly to be a jackass

Until one day he showed up looking like a lost puppy, so you caved

You were also a softie, what could you say?

Henry wouldn’t say it, but you knew the lockdown order had finally sunk in and he realized that he would have to be quarantined with his father

So you decided to be his safe haven (and his constant distraction)

You introduced him to your PS4 (he’d never had the luxury of having his own game system) and it opened up a whole new world for him

Games like Destiny and Red Dead Redemption really gave him an outlet and he especially loved that he could control what he did with his character in Red Dead

Which then led him to RPG games like Wolf Among Us and Until Dawn

The two of you would pull all nighters playing these games, constantly debating on which choice to make and how it would impact the story

And when you two weren’t playing games, the extra time quarantined together actually encouraged him to start opening up to you

So one minute the two of you might be swearing at a video game while the next you might be deep in conversation over a cozy cup of cocoa

Patrick:

You thought he was a nightmare before?

Well, I hope you’re prepared to handle him 24/7 for god knows how long

This boy is jumping off the fucking walls okay

And he can’t take it out on the Losers Club, so it has to come out somehow...

This motherfucker starts a prank channel on YouTube and decides that you are his target

Sometimes it’s as harmless as pretending he factory reset your iPhone

Sometimes it’s as infuriating as destroying your eyeshadow palettes and pressing sidewalk chalk into the pans

Sometimes it’s as terrifying as him chasing you around in a monster mask with a kitchen knife while you’re just trying to paint your damn nails

But no matter how pissed you get, he gives you that dumb stupid cute smirk you love to hate and kisses you, reminding you why you tolerate him in the first place

And as much as you think you can, you really can’t stay mad at him for long

Because when he isn’t devising more dubious schemes for internet views, he is alllllllll over you

Somehow being quarantined has amped up his testosterone an ungodly amount

And there’s only so much PornHub’s donated free subscriptions will take care of

But when all these fun and games finally come to a rest, Patrick is jumping off the walls in a completely different way

He has never had to be cooped up for so long, and his mental health disorders are really getting the best of him right now

It gets worse during the night, so you’ve started taking him out to stargaze to calm down

Afterwards, he finally starts to calm down and you actually get to spend some quality time with him

You’ve also found that puzzle games give him something to problem solve with rather than focus on his own labyrinth of a psyche

And in these moments the two of you can finally relax, listen to a creepy yet hilarious episode of Last Podcast On The Left, work on some sort of puzzle game, and enjoy some peace and fucking quiet for once

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just-the-mage · 4 years ago

Text

Review-Love Death + Robots (Pt 1. Episodes 1-4)

So here we are again. You, dear readers, and I, a mostly defunct tumblr page. I was thinking...I’ve written a few reviews on here before, and I’ve rather enjoyed myself to be honest. So until RP starts up again for me, I’m going to grab some popcorn and start reviewing some of the media I’ve been indulging in during this exceptionally fun pandemic we’ve all been saddled with (and are becoming increasingly more and more used to as time goes on). Here we go!

Spoilers incoming! I don’t like to discuss a show without going through it entirely-no stone unturned. You have been warned!

Love Death + Robots is a compilation series-each episode is self-contained content, based on what I have experienced thus far. The content varies wildly from cute and sweet to surreal, to horrific. For right now I’m going to stick with the first four episodes since they are fresh in my mind.

Episode 1: Three Robots

Three robots shows a short adventure shared by, you guessed it-Three robots exploring the crumbling remains of human society. It comes across as three tourists making their way through an area that they are completely unfamiliar with, attempting to define and understand elements of the environment as humans once did. Their analysis and attempts to understand not only human culture, but also basic human biology, were entertaining to say the least. Each robot has flair, character, and a their own take on humans and humanity. Over the course of the episode, the fall of mankind is referenced a few times, being initially explained as a mass extinction due to environmental disasters (global warming is probably a factor-one of the buildings has an entire ship sticking out of it). However, the twist ending throws that whole theory into question once the cat that has been accompanying the robots for the last leg of their journey reveals itself as capable of speech. And, interestingly enough...being in possession of opposable thumbs. It was certainly unexpected, and a bit odd-the cat (and its many, many brethren) manage to finish out the episode by convincing the robots that if the robots do not pet them, the cats may explode. I will say that the ending, though it was rather silly and fitting with the tone, felt like an out of place twist intended mostly to give a bit of closure to a story that had no real need to have an ending. It felt a little out-of-left field, at least to me.

This first episode, I think, is one that I could recommend to a much more general audience than almost all of the other content of the show. It’s whimsical and cute, despite inhabiting such a grim setting (and grim it is-post apocalyptic is not taken lightly here. There are plenty of corpses, some skeletal and some not quite so much. At least one of them appears to have died by suicide). I found it to be a nice addition and a good introduction to ease people into the tone of the show. Definitely give this one a watch, even if the ending sort of comes from nowhere.

Episode 2: Beyond the Aquila Rift

This episode was definitely a change of pace from the first. It begins as a high science fiction story starring a hunky, middle aged man and his two crewmates, making some sort of cargo run (?) through a wormhole of some kind, but promptly finding themselves in a completely different place from what they expected. Hunky space captain wakes up first, finding that he is greeted by an old friend (read: lover) of his, who explains that there was a navigation error that led them off course-way off course. They’re in a completely different area than they expected. The ship’s navigator wakes as well, swearing that there couldn’t have been an error in her calculations, but seems ill and is placed back in her future tech cryopod to rest. Space captain man then bangs it out with his ex-lover (Greta) in a scene that was almost definitely written by a man, and she reveals to him that she lied, and that him and his crew are actually hundreds of light-years further off course than they had thought they were, basically dashing any hopes that he could have of returning to his old life. The two then wake the navigator again, who immediately starts ranting that ‘Greta’ isn’t who she says she is. At this point, enough clues have been given that the captain catches up with the audience (it was all a simulation the whole time), and he confronts Greta, demanding that she reveal herself as she truly is. She does, after some prodding-and the captain finds himself in an infested husk of a ship, aged and haggard, obviously dying of starvation. Greta reveals herself as a lovely spider-beast, and the captain wakes up from his pod again-back in his comfortable illusion once more.

I love the premise of this one. Crazy aliens and shit like this is a huge draw for me-sci-fi horror is probably my favorite subgenre of horror when it’s done well. I would count this episode as doing it pretty well. They don’t go into much techno-babble, which I think is a pitfall for some sci-fi stories. The writers are well aware that we aren’t spending too long in this world, so we don’t need to know much about the rules under which it operates outside of ‘computer mistake your ship fly here.’ The twist ending didn’t end up being too much of a twist-in my opinion there were too many clues given throughout the episode to make it that much of a surprise that things weren’t as they seemed. The odds of this man meeting his ex-lover in the infinitesimal reaches of space just by chance were a bit too impossible to make it believable-and the navigator was far too convinced that her work couldn’t be incorrect. In the end, it was an expected twist, but still pretty jarring. Execution is pretty good overall though-and the sex scene is pretty decent as well, even if its strictly a dude-fantasy thing. Also, call me a sucker for cool looking beasties, but I adore the design on spider-Greta. That’s a lady right there for you.

Episode 3: Ice Age

The only live action episode I’ve seen so far-this one gives an *entirely* different tone than the majority of the other episodes in the series. Topher Grace and Mary Elizabeth Winstead happen upon a lost civilization that exists entirely within their refrigerator. They watch in awe as it develops incredibly quickly-hundreds of years passing within the civilization in roughly an hour or so of real time. What starts in the morning as a town in the viking ages eventually develops into a modern society, almost destroys itself with nukes, and then rebuilds from the ashes into a fully futuristic society that quickly ascends beyond physical form, appearing to disperse itself into the cosmos, no longer bound by such petty rules as the laws of physics. A disappointed Topher asks if they’ll return-to which he receives a sad ‘no’ from his partner. It seems all is lost, and the couple go to bed for the night-only to find that the cycle has restarted overnight, and they probably won’t be able to keep any frozen chicken in the freezer for quite some time.

This one is probably one of my favorites of the series so far. It’s fairly well acted, but the real beauty of the episode is getting to watch the mini-civilization develop itself in a glorious time lapse-the work that must’ve gone into it must have been monumental, to be honest. The final product certainly felt that way, in any case. What I also found fascinating was a specific scene in which the protagonists were abandoned in place of some of the tiny denizens of the lost civilization-which made me realize exactly how slow the ‘normal sized people’s’ actions must have looked to the diminutive people of this rapidly developing society. Reminiscent of the earth’s motion in relation to our own perception-and reinforcing the concept that to an individual, perception is everything.

Episode 4: Sonnie’s Edge

This episode opens with three people transporting mysterious cargo into a heavily guarded complex, quickly encountering and interacting with a ‘bigwig’ of sorts with a beautiful woman on his arm. Through context clues the audience is easily able to discover that the three (pictured above) are here for a fight-and that their cargo is their fighter, a living creature of obviously immense proportion. The bigwig asks the team to throw the fight, and they refuse, even after he offers a large amount of money. (It’s worth mentioning that during this scene, ‘Sonnie’, the leader and controller of the beast fighter, shares an EXTREMELY homosexual gaze with the bigwig’s beautiful lady friend. Don’t think I didn’t notice the setup, because I definitely noticed the payoff, even though it was rudely interrupted). Sonnie and her teammates enter the ring, setting up as it appears that she will be piloting her fighter in some way. Her opponent is also introduced, though he is hardly important in the story-imagine a cake of beef with a big sticker on him that says ‘mysogyny’ in bold print. What follows is one of the most brutal fight scenes I’ve seen in animation (this is just my personal opinion though). These creatures fucking tear each other to shreds, with Sonnie’s beast only just barely emerging as the victor, tearing the opposing fighter’s head clean from its body. The bigwig is obviously angry, as is Sonnie’s opponent, and Sonnie and her team retires to a hotel room of sorts, with the exception of Sonnie-who slips away into the room that houses her fighter, promptly encountering the beauty from earlier! (Payoff time)..and it gets gay. Fast. I love me some wlw content, and there’s some nice tension here, right up until the beauty stabs Sonnie through the head. Rude. The bigwig reveals himself, which was a bit of a surprise-the part of me that hadn’t seen much of this show yet was hoping for a fluffy little happy ending. It wasn’t to be though..after the beauty crushes Sonnie’s skull, the two promptly realize that ‘Sonnie’ wasn’t Sonnie at all-just some biotech. The *real* Sonnie...was the fighter, the whole time. Who promptly makes short work of both the beauty and the bigwig, (implied), in what I can only describe as the most satisfying moment in the series that I’ve seen thus far.

This was easily my favorite episode of the show, and has continued to be, and I assume will continue to be my favorite through the rest of the series. It’s not just because of the lesbian rep (my people!), or the misogynists getting fucking destroyed, but the strength of the reveal, the choreography of the fight scene, and the *power* of the protagonist. I love her. I love her sooo much. We are seamlessly introduced into the world, shown a woman who has been beaten, scarred, faced sexual abuse, and she remade herself into a being of pure power. She fought back, and *look how she fights back*. I cannot describe just how much of a cheer-worthy moment it was to watch the smug smile be summarily wiped from the face of the bigwig. I *love* seeing a villain who has full confidence in their victory suddenly realize that they don’t have the upper hand anymore...and that they are, in fact, absolutely screwed. This was one of those wonderful, wonderful moments, and I can think of nobody more deserving than this villain of being torn to shreds. This was an A+ episode for sure-100% recommend this one for anyone who can handle a bit of gore.

Thank you so much for reading! This is only part 1...more to come!

#ooc #not ffxiv #review #show review #tv show review #love death and robots #love #death #robots #animation #sonnie's edge #ice age #beyond the aquila rift #three robots #wlw #lesbian

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gooferdusted · 4 years ago

Note

hypothetically, if I were to write a fix-it/rewrite au fic, (thinking of starting at s5 but debating starting earlier) what are some storylines you’d take out/change, characters you’d save/kill, and specifically changes to sam’s character/arcs you’d like bc i need ideas

ok. ok. I'm gonna try to not go completely off the fucking rails while I write this up but I gotchu (also these r all just my own hot n spicy takes so like. pick what u like, it's all goodie goodie)

• no time passing differently in hell. literally four months is ~Enough!~ a year is enougghh!!!!!! like I get that they wanted to make hell this horrible unreachable thing but u can still like... get that across without having it be this unfathomable chunk of time out of a persons life. like sam was down there with TWO very pissed off angel's for 180 years??? how can he still speak english??? how does dean remember ANYTHING about his old life when mentally more than half of it was spent being endlessly tortured until he finally cracked??? its just.... Too Much...

• ON that note, I feel like later on they never rlly had sam and dean bond over the fact that like... they are genuinely the ONLY two people on earth who have survived actual hell. I mean we got that one off line from dean at some point but??

• no chuck as god. just a greasy greasy rat man getting insane stories projected into his brain. and on the topic of that.... I dont like the reflection of the real life fanbase in the spn universe??? they're pulp fiction novels, it should be all like 50 year old + ladies who picked them up at the local bargain bin, not b*cky r*sen

• I like... WANNA say smth abt s4..... bc I think the way that they handled things were a little out of character BUT I also think that was lind of the point??? like the angels and demons were manipulating them to say/do things they would normally never say/do to eachother to drive a big enough wedge between then that they would eventually say yes to being the vessels. like it hurts to watch sooo much but it did drive the plot forward in a very particular way that probably couldnt have happened otherwise. that being said, when the levee breaks makes me sad, and I dont want to see sam crying for his dead mother alone in a basement! cest la vie.

• sam and dean.... are Friends...,, why did we all forget that..... watch hell house and maybe I'll calm down.....

• PSYCHIC SAM!!!!!! you all know me. you know how I feel about psychic sam... robbed. s4 finale rlly had sam like "drinking that much demon blood has truly changed me forever..... theres no going back now...... 😔😔" like ok. ok. where are your superpowers. where are they.

• I wish some of the other special children had made it out :(( I really liked andy and ava (also sam finding other friend who are like him??? queer allegory??? spare queer allegory?????)

• I also dont think the roadhouse shouldve burned down!!! that shouldve been a Staple Location like Bobby's house. same w Missouri's, literally why did we only visit her once.

• ur sending an ask to my blog so I assume this is just a given for u but!!! we're takin away the misogyny. we're takin away the fetishization! anything that would be given the greenlight by joss whedon we are putting straight in the trash. <3

• this is mostly a thing in later seasons like. idk 9-15, but no ppl knowing who the winchesters are. they are NOBODIES. they pop up like little meerkats and fuck everything up beyond repair.

• also no fancy tech. no iphone 76z or whatever the fuck. sam has an ipod 1. the wheel is so stuck he can barely press play anymore. remember when he literally just tore off the top casing off his laptop and threw it away? more of that.

• no nice clothes. NO nice clothes we fuckin hate that. everything sam and dean own was purchased pre 1995 and dean is an expert at removing blood stains and sewing up jackets. dean will walk into a laundromat with a tide pen and just start goin for it like that scene in deadpool.

• tbh.... I feel like the issues in later seasons are really this massive horrible domino effect. like I could say heres how to fix s7-10 but the fact is if shit hadnt gone down lile it had in s7 s10 would be a different story entirely.

• I am gonna do it tho bc I suck <3

• s6: soulless sam was funney but did that really go anywhere? no. tbh I dont remember what happened w cas and I'm just not going to look it up. it's just not in the cards for tonight. dean w lisa.... ehh.... I've discussed this at wayy too much length w mushroom and we both agreed that dean would probably keep hunting to keep his mind off things and to try and honor sams sacrifice. I guess theres an argument to be made for the fact that it kind of was Sam's dying wish that dean just go fin her and live a normal life but... idk. purgatory was. . indeed a Concept..... that could have maybe gone somewhere if it didnt rapidly spiral into....

• s7!!! I mean. jesus christ. I know some people like this one but jesus christ. the way they literally couldnt commit to having sam have genuine mental health problems after centuries in hell or to just magically wipe them away..... bobby dying halfway thru.... charlie was a bright spot I suppose, but her intro is not my fave episode w her.... idk what the fuck happened w cas, I guess he was god. the leviathan designs were kinda neat but like oh my fucking god it wasnt worth it.

• s8: uh. rough start. idk why the turn tables so suddenly and dean's like "why didnt u look for me >:((" bc??? yall agreed not to???? at the VERY least they couldve had sam been like "I legitimately had no reason to think u werent dead and in heaven and tha wouldve been a little rude of me to pull u out of that." but we went for ~drama~ to make it spicy I guess. ouygh. bunkers there!!! that was cool!!! MoL is a cool concept!!! altho... it doesn kinda contradict the whole sam and dean are nobodies thing... idk. trials of hell was like... cool in theory but bad in practice unless they were planning on ending the show for realskies. and they did not.

• s9: uhh... hated gadreel! hated that shit! wish they had spun that whole storyline to be more "hey sam I noticed u were s*icidal should we maybe address that??" or even like.... I mean dean probably couldve just TOLD sam abt his plan, he had already convinced him to stay alive by that point??? there was no reason to lie!!! plus the betrayal of gadreel not being who he said he was wouldve been like. literally enough drama, we didnt need to fracture the team again. and cas was??? where exactly??? be was human for at least half of that season but hey didnt know what to do w him so they chucked him in a convenience store??? good lord.

• s10: got no suggestions for that one, just toss it

• s11: ok... shes cute.... we can forgive her.... the lore is shaky at best but the episodes SLAP and the characterization is *chefs kiss*. it's been a hot minute since I've seen it so if smth sucked I dont remember and I plan to keep it that way!!!!

• s12: n.. no. no mary. no mary unless we're doing it right. and I promise u doing it right was not poorly ripping off kingsman. couldve brought back bobby!!! if they desperately wanted some drama couldve brought back john!!! actually fuck that, no way

• s13-15: no thoughts, only jack kline <3

#holy fuck im so sorry <3 #shut up cereal #asks #long post #spn critical #hate tagging my posts as that bc i dont wanna b one of ~Those~ but i dont want ppl coming after me 4 this #theres probably like 100000 things i forgot!!! feel free to add ur own!!!!#there are some seasons i only ever watched once very very long ago....#and tbh classic spn is the freshest in my mind so im focusing on her #spn #supernatural

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miniwolfsbane · 4 years ago

Text

JWCC Sammy Gutierrez and body positivity

THIS IS VERY LONG! (I just have a lot of feelings!) Also, this is personal and doesn’t talk a lot about Sammy and is just one big rant.

Comment I wrote on the S2 preview “Also, shout out to the creators for making Sammy heavy, but it not effecting or having anything to do with her character. OR have her be obsessed with food. I'm sure other 90s kids remember the fat kid trope. Not doing fat logic, but we've come so far from the old days! As a woman who had that kind of body type growing up (had skinny friends, developed early, etc. it all was uncomfortable for many reasons. Long story.), it's amazing to see this kind of...semi-body positivity that's quiet and unspoken in a show aimed at everyone, including girls. If I had seen this character at 13, my mind would've been blown. Kudos!!”

I’m reeeally tired and getting to that point where I get emotional about stupid stuff. However, this isn’t that stupid...maybe?

We’ve reached a milestone, a kind of apex in American society, where being fat is no longer a running gag and it’s celebrated to be thick and/or a healthy weight. (Not to say skinny isn’t cool and it’s sure as heck better than carry 90+ pounds if it can be helped, but, as I said on Youtube, lots of 90s fat tropes were had, were they not? Every body type has their problems, blessings, and issues.) But, health is also a big issue and losing weight is too. I’m all for losing weight, but I also know what it was like growing up a fat kid, then a fat teenager in the 90s and 2000s when we didn’t have representation and people like Tocorra Jones, Melissa McCarthy, Ashley Graham and Rebel Wilson around to promote different body shapes and/or being a little heavy or curvy while still being healthy. (Melissa and Rebel have lost weight and I applaud them full circle!)

Anyway, It is downright uplifting to see Sammy in JWCC like this! Being “thicker” than her two female friends doesn’t slow her down or hinder her in anyway. She is not obsessed with food. She is not constantly eating. Likewise, she has an actual personality and an interesting secret and backstory. The fans seem to love her. She is not dressed immodestly and she doesn’t seem to have ANY negative opinions of her body type, for now. Likewise, in a fast paced show like this, no one is talking behind her back about her weight or eating habits (again, for now. This could change in upcoming seasons, we don’t know.) Come to that, she’s fairly intelligent and isn’t dumb. Like, how many times have we seen a fat, dumb person in a show. (I’m looking at you Chris Griffin and Cleveland Jr!) This could’ve gone SO SIDEWAYS in her character creation any number of ways and I’m just amazed it didn’t. However, this maybe is attributed to the show being an action show and not a comedy? In any case, I’m so glad girls of this generation can see it. I wish I’d had it at their age. (It’s probably because her VA is heavy, but heavier than how Sammy is portrayed, to my knowledge. I’ve only seen her years ago on Disney channel. Who cares why? It happened and I’m glad.) Please be assured, I’m NOT trying promote fat acceptance, just inclusivity, relatability, and representation.

Like I say all the time, I’m not super heavy. I never was. As I said in the comment, I developed early and had mostly skinny friends growing up. I remember being about 11 and hosting my first sleepover and someone pointing to my arms at my stretch marks, asking what they were. I wasn’t traumatized and they didn’t tease me, but I was a little (a lot?) self-conscious. Like, can we please get the idea out of our head that ONLY pregnant women get stretch marks?? (Cocoa butter companies, hello?!) They can happen to girls that grow tall fast or, like me, you can have them all freaking over because the puberty button in your brain got stuck. (LOL?) And calling them cute things like skin lightning doesn’t really help. My limbs and body still look weird.

I don’t remember seeing many characters shaped like me in shows as a kid or teenager. Unless maybe Simpsons characters with their pudgy bellies who may be some of the most average, realistic bodies in all of fiction, really. We can’t all be supermodels and body builders. Sailor Moon girls were all thin and leggy. None of the Magic School Bus kids were pudgy, all average and healthy (which is probably a good thing in a way. IDK. Representation is great, but so is promoting healthy eating and healthy shapes. Everything has their place.) Disney characters were mostly animals at the time, and I didn’t see Recess until Highschool or something at 3 am, and even then, there was only Mikey. Mikey was progressive, but he wasn’t female. Closest I got was Ariel’s (Little Mermaid) sister, Adella ( https://littlemermaid.fandom.com/wiki/Adella) and even then, she had no belly and never animated the same outside of the series with not much character development or anything.

Cassie from Animorphs might’ve been a close second, but, though she was my favorite female character as a kid (not anymore), it was hard to say “OMG, she’s shaped like me!” as it was a book series with few visual aides outside of covers, posters and some toys.

I remember seeing the singing group Cherish for a few seconds on TV once. A bunch of thick, busty, heavy black girls and I was SO EXCITED because for those few seconds on TV, there were girls that looked like me! Then some years later I found out a few of them lost weight and I was like bleh. (I didn’t follow their music or anything, not even sure how I saw them again.) Not that disapprove, health is essential, and I encourage people to lose weight for themselves, but it was nice having some representation. Except health needs to come first. It’s a two-edged sword if I ever saw one.

Don’t get me started on the sheer amount of girls with small/flat chests on TV. (No offense! See above about body types. Again, it’s about representation and seeing someone that looks like you that was not common in the 90s and early 2000s) I’m picky though. I wanted to see more representation, but the minute I saw it, I was not impressed or annoyed. To my better judgement, I saw a few episodes of something I won’t name with a curvy lead. I found her times dressing up as a man unconvincing and confusing because of her body shape. Other times I was, for lack of a better word, slightly appalled at her own size, even though she somewhat looked like me. I know, it makes no sense. Other times, I was mad at Lizzy Mcguire or another show for having skinny characters with A-cups while I was, er, way past training bras and smaller bras by 14/15 when the show was new.

Swearz, I developed (pun not intended!) this weird conspiracy theory that Disney execs have to look at the Star’s mom and other women in their family before casting a girl to make sure she stays thin/average chested for the shows entire run. Outside of one show, all shows in that era had the same thin girl body type. (And not much representation for different races for Disney back then, but that’s another debate for someone to better handle, not me.)

All that said, my shape was attributed to four things: Diet, genetics, lack of exercise and my mom’s cooking. Not sure how much I subscribe to the “genetics effect body fat theory”, but the “genetics effect body shape” is definitely a thing! And hormones in chicken. My family said all I ever wanted when I was little was McDonald’s chicken nuggets all the time, so I think that had some play in how I turned out. It’s probably too much to get into here, and no one cares about my sob story, so let’s move on.

Sammy is awesome and I hope to see more characters like her from other studios in the future. Every body type needs representation, but every body also deserves to be healthy and nourished.

EDIT: WARNING: THE VIDEO AND THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPHS TALK ABOUT ED AND CALORIE RESTRICTION!!

OMAHGAWWWD! I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING ROTTEN IN THE INDUSTRY, Y’ALL!! (Okay, that’s obvious, but you don’t really give it thought in your day to day life.)

The video gives a summary of Jenette McCurdy’s time on iCarly and the horrors she’d been going through in her younger years, which included an eating disorder and restricting calories to an (alleged) 900. Dear lord, that is sickening.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCE1x_chT34

Granted, I would take this with a small grain of salt as it’s from the internet, and undoubtedly, many actresses, probably more than we realize, have ED’s. If they would start encouraging them to be at healthy weights, things like this wouldn’t happen. Frick Nickelodeon and frick the acting industry!!

So, this was what I was trying to convey. Casting and producers need to find that middle ground. Don’t promote fact acceptance, but do not force your actors/actresses to be stick thin either. I could go on a huge tangent, but I don’t have the brain power right now. If you have an ED or know someone that does, I strongly encourage you to get help. I’ve been in tight spots like that (I knew of people or knew people), but getting REAL help from a doctor, professional, or someone with a good head on their shoulders is better than hiding it or keeping it secret. Ten years down the line, you’ll be thankful you did and not have regret. No one is perfect, but sometimes you have to fight harder to find a solution and someone that will actually listen to you and take your concerns to heart.

If I get negative comments, I’ll be deleting this and no one will be able to enjoy it. Think before you type and don’t be a jerk.

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cutegirlmayra · 4 years ago

Text

When your tired after a 16hr shift yesterday so you rant about Sonic and explain why aggressive writing vs. neutral writing helps with sharing ideas

Me and my online Sonic friend talking about Belle. (I’m skipping some dialogue throughout the chat, this was lazily put together lol)

WARNING: It’s long, and it’s a rant. So please note that I’m blatantly aware of how wrong my aggressive, sleep-deprived rant was and that I’m stating “DON’T PRESENT YOUR IDEAS LIKE THIS!” because this is not a healthy nor effective way of sharing ideas.

ALSO, ALL THE MENTIONS OF WHAT I BELIEVE MY FRIEND IS FEELING OR THINKING DURING MY RANT ARE ENTIRELY MY OPINON. If she tells me to delete something or change it I will without hesitation but I find it funny, as I look back, to insert what I think might be going on in her mind XD She might have been oblivious to me but I’ll get her thoughts and change anything if necessary.

It’s also how most trolls and antis and even some ‘not experienced writers’ write their ideas out, and it can be easily avoided by using Neutral Writing Methods. So this is a ‘don’t do this, but try this’ post. Enjoy my badly written, sleepy aggressive rant~<3 (Also, my friend gave me permission to share this lol)

Me: She could be for entertaining little kids. But we already have too many OCs, and they're not 'dying off' any time soon so...I smell a mini-series backup plan...and I don't like what that means for Sonic. And it is cute, sorry, my brain is off the hook right now, I'll keep things to myself cause you may not like what I'm predicting and I'm getting sad thinking about it ;-; so, want to be wrong.

(Friend mentioned “Tinker Bell” spin on name.)

That's precious, but can I get a link to the reference sheet plz? Reference sheets can tell a lot about a chara's functionality if you compare it to the 'needs' of the casts. it can help predict their role. I think she's meant to help but also entertain the kids, maybe planted with a secret. Her goal could be to come back to Mr. Tinker but Eggman abuses that and tricks her into a new robot. I got a weird theory about her but I'll just say that she's probably gonna go a bit dark. But be cute and make the audience go, "Aww, poor thing! She's a cinnamon roll" at first, wonder if they'll equip her with 'happy backstory, tragic ending' kinda thing to switch the usual 'tragic backstory happy ending' but I feel this is a tragic character meant to pull emotion out.

(Friend understands my concerns but mentions there hasn’t been a ‘Bad’ Oc for the comic)

No one sets out to create a 'bad character' especially professional writers like these guys. But what makes a character 'bad' is if you ruin or oversaturate their purposes. If she's a main character that over-shines others with too much story then the audience feels 'betrayed' because they want that screen time for the main casts to express themselves and shine through. That's just an example. When working with IPs like Sonic casts, you HAVE to remember the fanbase is expecting things Do you like my OCs? be honest lol Not from my prompts. There's a specific way to handle a OC that helps the main cast shine and reveals their characters more. AU Ocs help Canon Characters in many ways.

(Friend admits they have not seen my OCs in some of my fanfictions, they’ve only really read my prompts.)

Oh, well, some of my fanfictions have OCs, not Lavinya, she's just a mascot. My Sonic OC that retried XD Sorry, I'm misspelling a lot but I hope you don't mind, my spellcheck sucks and I've given up on it lol Oh, so you don't know Harmony, Ol'Wizzy, and Data?Or the Metal Series? Well, there are specific Ocs that my readers like and they express/compliment the canon characters to where even though they're a main character, they don't intervene with the Main Cast's goals. They actually help. Then everything I'm gonna say won't have much merit so I'll just focus on waiting to see if my predictions for Sonic IDW will come true, but I really hope they don't do what it looks like they strategically might be pulling... I hate SEGA marketing-

(The beginning of my aggressive rant, please note that I’m not thinking about my image and am writing tired and lazy. This is an example of how NOT to express your opinions in negative ways. It doesn’t influence good at all.)

Their ploys are outdated and frankly, do not work for their IPs market. They target the wrong age group, they have no idea how to organize themselves, and they don't have a leading 'elder' so to speak (just a professional among them) to make good calls. So you have young adults (not super professionals, this might be their first real company job) trying to target internet culture and failing their IPs. They're doing outdated Nintendo tactics that only worked for NINTENDO! Also some other companies that have DIED so why are you copying their marketing strats!? stop! lol

Friend: Did you study marketing because this entire convo kinda flew over my head in terms of understanding (This should have indicated to me that my words were coming off too factual and had too many ‘jargons’ going on. I was losing my ‘reader’ through my rant, but my tired brain would not cease!)

Sonic's trying to morph into something he's not and they're following outdated college course books and it's not gonna help... they're leading Sonic further down and the creators in japan have no power cause all the power is in the stock holders who are stupid money-hungry americans who have lost faith in American SEGA leading SEGA of Japan to move on to other things

Friend: mostly just got you don’t like the marketing (Huge red flag! This means my friend is starting to tune my info out, it’s because I’m presenting my ideas in a slightly aggressive writing style. There are trigger words here that lead an reader to start doubting you. This is why, in most of my answer posts, I make sure to write Neutral writing methods, but I’ll mention that more after my rant lol XP)

It's just bad. Lol I have a Frankenstein degree, (Now I’m justifying myself, which was caused by my aggressive approach. If I simply stated this in a more ‘neutral writing method’ then I wouldn’t have to worry about creditability claims because I’m not trying to sell my idea as the high authority on it.) which means I have knowledge on many different fields. I never took a fully -dedicated- 'marketing class' I took a lot of different communication classes that went to my overall major. One was directly about how you present, sell, and look at marketing tactics. So I have my fingers in many different fields, my major was "Creative Writing for Fiction and Film with an Emphasis in Video Production and a Cluster in Theatre Arts." So I can be on camera, off camera, post and pre production, creative table and actual filming. Does that make sense? (I’m not fully awake to realize what I’m writing, but it’s clear at this point I’m starting to wake up and realize I’m ranting and tossing my ideals of how to present ideas out the window, but let’s watch my follies and learn from them, shall we?) I have theories on what SEGA is going to do, and I have my worries because it's all outdated. It worked for older companies but those companies also targeted a varying audience, which SEGA refuses to see themselves as for a 'teenage audience' which is exactly why they boomed in the 90s. Their target audience is now 20s.

Friend: There are Kids who also like Sonic, even if they don’t play the games though. (Due to my aggressive tactics from not thinking clearly about, not just the what, but the HOW I’m writing, it has turned my friend into a ‘contrasting neutrality’ which is amazing by the way that she did this! She noticed my writing was turning aggressively ranting, and being my friend, didn’t want to be rude about what she was noticing. -I’m guessing lol- so instead, she took the commentary approach, which is to state the good as well. This is a terrible position to put your reader into, and you should make sure to always have good examples and good praise mixed in to contrast any opposing or aggressive statements you ever make. -though you should avoid aggressive writing at all times- Sadly, this does put the reader, in this case my friend, in a very vulnerable position. It leaves them open for attack... but thankfully, she’s a wonderful friend and had trust that I wouldn’t hurt her on her counter-follow-up.)

So instead of using their 40 to 50 year old charts, start with looking at early millennial trends and desires. They tried for 'angst' to 'adultify' Sonic but it busted because we are STICKLERS for animation. Because their story was so scrapped together and had no actual character depth, motivation, or even emotional growth to develop for future game lore, they went for the 'easy made game' (Easy baked oven quote lol that’s just mean XD) We loved the trailer, it was well made, but they threw their animators elsewhere and made the programmers (WHO BLANATLY ADMIT THEY DONT KNOW HOW TO DO STORY/GRAPHICS) and made them do things they aren't trained in. Those micro-head movements and mouths took them A LONG TIME to figure out.

(My friend is now agreeing with me several times through my rant. This is a tactic that is used as ‘avoidance’ but also for ‘appeasement’. She’s probably tuned out by now, but respects what I’m saying but is also incredulous at it as well. It’s fair, I’ve cornered her into my sleepy-time rant, and being the lovable woman that she is, she is simply waiting for me to realize my follies lolol I wish she would have told me but I think she knew I was beyond ‘logical reasoning’ at this point and was just letting me get it all out lolol What a good friend TDT)

Animation can't be learned that fast AND expect them to program a game AT THE SAME TIME. Sonic Forces was a 'split up SEGA' trying to get those who survived and said, "Yeah, I'll stay in this job." to do things that THEY AREN'T EVEN TRAINED IN. you put a game programmer on animation and some other stuff they didn't know what to do with and expect it be a top-notch seller.

Friend: (in more attempts to join in and be a ‘participant’ of the conversation I’m clearly dominating -MY ABSOLUTE BAD- she tried to engage normal conversation flow into the discussion again. At this point, she probably did notice I wasn’t my usual self, and just decided to play along and enjoy the ride lolol I’m just guessing this tho, but it’s a good chance to reflect on what ‘wrongs’ I was doing and what ‘rights’ she was doing during this situation ;)b) My big issue with SEGA is that they rush everything. A lot of things would’ve been better if they had the proper time.

That was resolved actually.

Friend: Oh? It was? (Although this looks like an encouragement, it’s actually just another avoidance tactic to help me ‘get the venting out’ but it’s clear she’s not fully onboard anymore. When you write to discuss, you have to leave room for other’s opinions to shine through as well. Healthy conversation doesn’t mean forcing the other person to comply to you. A lot of this is educated guess based on past research, she knows this, and it’s clear she’s got her own research. Please remember to never shoot someone down when they try to engage you in your conversations. But again, this is the ‘don’t do this’ and me upset at my tired self for not waking up fast enough to contemplate how I was coming across in my wordings. Let’s continue to investigate and dissect the train wreck, shall we?)

That was an issue a few years ago but SEGA is taking their time, it's just that they can't organize themselves and hire the right professionals. They have old tactics, they have rookies that aren't 'Fresh Blood with professionalism' like they need. They don't need an old fart who knows his stuff, they need a new guy who is dedicated and passionate about their company who will remain there, learn them in and out, and knows his stuff SPECIFICALLY for the things SEGA needs. You have to grow that. You have to hire a very talented and young spunky and fresh professional, have him work with you for 10-15 years, and start training others. But SEGA is already recognized as a 'established' company.

(Friend is still agreeing with me, but is aware of my way of presenting it isn’t “As nice as I usually present it” so she starts mentioning the symptoms of Japanese Work Culture. A wonderful, insightful point to mention! But let’s see how I butcher this as well...)

It's not Japan though! (Again, shutting her down. Tsk tsk, sleepy me. Wake up, you lazy bum.) They won't let Japan interfere! They're all really rude to japan actually. The guys in charge, anyway. We all respect the officials, but SEGA of America people just want results. They are just funders, they don't actually work the company.

Friend: So you blame them for everything? (She’s trying to help me see that my writing is coming off as ‘hate’ which is because of my aggressive writing follies I’m doing so bluntly. Let’s please all admire my friend’s patience as she lets me rant and kindly waits for me to realize how bad I’m handling my 16 hr shift from yesterday lolol)

Look, business is really unfair, and I get that, but if I have to rant (I’m starting to wake up more, oh goodie.) I'd say they really need to humble themselves and ask Japan to please take ownership again. They kicked out people due to a money crisis but they need a game that will be 'safe to secure money but get enough excited momentum to help us push on and continue.' which isn't Japan's strategy usually. Japan likes risks, they also like money too. They trust America too much (especially in the beginning) because America is a HUGE consumer. For the world in fact. But I think they sacrificed too much for the company (common in Japan) and trusted America too much in making decisions. The officials are too nice to say that America screwed them over because America wanted full control. Well guess what? They have too much control now and their product is sinking..

Friend: You’ve got a lot of fire about this topic. (After I completely disregarded reading her follows-ups and continued to rant, my unconditionally kind friend finally threw in the towel, realizing I was no where near my usually ‘present’ self and was probably just flopped back in her chair smiling at my idiocy of not understanding her kind and subtly hints.) Go ahead and rant it out. (BOOM! Obvious right!? I should have corrected myself but at this point, I was writing like wild fire with droopy, waking up eyes and didn’t even read it during my long paragraphs...)

Sonic won't ever fade away due to it's fans, but the company is struggling to figure itself out for YEARS now. I just worry what they plan to do next. But I have a theory that they are really putting the next game in Japan's hands, a lot of activity is happening in SEGA of Japan, and they're spending WAY MORE TIME on the next installment of Modern Sonic (or Classic, still unsure which one it is yet.) I really think they need a remake game to give them profit, then use that profit for their next big installment. But so far, I think they are working on a game BUT corona might have effected production so I'm sure they are working but I'm concerned if Corona helped manage 'time and quality' or is helping to ruin it...That I can't investigate yet :( I just wish for the best (I’M FINALLY WAKING UP FULLY AS I STOP AND REALIZE-) Sorry for my rant! My theory talk showed through and I don't usually like doing that so forgive me. I'm tired and that's why T-T

Friend: It’s cool we all need to rant sometimes. (My friend’s going to make it to Heaven TwT she’s so kind.)

(Then I profusely apologized a billion times cause I realize how badly this all went down. lol)

(But the terror hasn’t ended... she mentioned some youtube videos mentioning other opinions as well. -which I’m usually cautious of cause some of them can be fanon.-)

OHhhh did he mention the arcade crash??? the literal WORST event in SEGA history??? That's literally where they sank the titanic, SEGA has never recovered from selling off their stocks. (I’M BACK AT IT AGAIN. -facepalm-) Shareholders are everything now and it's the biggest loss ever. Also, the problem is that kids don't play the games, (Rereading my follies and wanting to answer but still only just waking up...) but SEGA can't figure out why they like the characters and can't seem to take the FREAKIN' TIME to learn their lore. (Overwhelming the conversation again.) My easy steps: Re-establish Sonic lore CANONLY AND CORRECTLY, Re-gather the Japanese Officials original plans and notes, guides and study art, Re-make some popular games with the most details on Animation, Fluidity of motion graphics, and with modern Technology incorporated into the game. Once that is accomplished, they will have enough money to then- Create a continuity. Only with a flowing story and relevant past lore can they start moving forward. Animation will target their audience, Story and character re-established arcs will bring nostalgia and new blood to the field of their games, and then Japan's influences will keep it authentic for the continuities so we don't have fandom mixing with canon NEARLY AS BADLY as before anymore. Ugh, it does matter their sales, but I literally bought a book on the history of SEGA, and read a really compelling history article about more then just the Console Wars... I know SEGA has survived literally the edge of extinction on multiple fronts, but someone needs to take charge of their Sonic branch, and it's... it's just too outdated. kk, sorry for the rant.

Friend: (After being multiple times ignored, even after my brief moment of clarity, is still an angel. Frustrated, maybe, but an angel.) And your steps sound really good. Also mostly just listen to his vids if you ever do. It’s ok we all need to rant. (THE WORLD DOESN’T DESERVE THIS GURL T-T)

I'm tired so my 'angry' is showing and it's not professional XD do you mind if I post my rant? lol Actually, no. (Realize how awfully I delivered my ideas, this is where I begin to see my errors and where the clarity comes into play. -we all have our off days lol- )

Friend: Go for it

I want to but it's too aggressive. I'm too lazy to rewrite it out so I'll just save that for another day XD You got a rare treat

Friend: (This is actually interesting and fascinating to her. But she realized then that I finally did see my error.) Concerned you’ll get aggressive responses back?

Honest opinion is sometimes too blunt and I need to be careful about that

Friend: I mean it’s always good to try and get most of the anger out so you seem more professional (Saint. Literally. A saint. She’s puts up with too much of my crap XD)

That, and also the war of 'But this is Cutegirlmayra? She's so sweet and constantly puts her answers in supportive, positive lights so that if SEGA were to see it, they would feel empowered to try it instead of threatened and throw it off as hate or something unprofessional.' I have an image too. I can't post something super aggressive or I'll lose trust. You're right.

Friend: I’m glad you put a lot of thought into everything you post

I apologize for it tho T-T I didn't mean to dominate with such opinions...lol I worry who I influence, you know?

Friend: Most people don’t and trust me they get into trouble cause of it. And yeah.

I don't want to create trolls or heated arguments. I want to teach people they can safely express an idea without using such awful communication. Exactly, it's professional fanism. lol Positive writing is what companies and their employees actually read. (I’m almost fully awake now lol, realizing my blunder and starting to explain why I was in the wrong. Good on me, pat on the back, admitting I was coming off as aggressive is the first step to changing and getting better lolol Also, I’m including her more, and I’m saying “You’re right.” and she’s going “And yeah.” which is a indicator that the conversation is slowly returning to an enjoyable and healthy one. ;w; happy endings lol) That's why I skip the aggressive stuff, even if it's passive, I write in a neutral setting so everyone feels safe to read, even someone who works at SEGA.

Friend: (Mentions some nintendo youtuber rant and also news as well, then says-) It was honestly very professional sounding and not rude. (MY HEART, YOU KNEW THAT WAS AN AGGRESSIVE RANT lololol So nice to me TDT)

Lol you had to have seen how slightly aggressive it was tho. (I’M CALLING YOUR BLUFF, BESTIE lol) You literally asked, "You blame America for it?" which is not always true but semi-true. They were way too prideful (Aggressive word) and haughty (Still aggressive terminology) about their success in other Japanese products that they wanted to completely change Sonic to their own wishes, pushing out Japan's creative "licenses" (I use this word loosely, and this gives a slightly aggressive feel but is also more dumbed down so it's more 'passionate' than just aggressive)

Friend: Yeah I saw it was slightly aggressive (Either is starting to realize it or at last admitting it now that I am fully aware of how I was coming across. I also used indicators to show what words were aggressive to help illustrate my point. This is showing I’m much more awake now :)b)

Gotta use those neutral tactics or no one will feel comfortable just reading your idea and instead, will constantly look for a place to intercept with aggression back, whether they agree or not, they're looking for ways to self-insert their aggression if you are also aggressive. I can't write something that doesn't somewhat support and uplift SEGA of America. Why? Because like I said, they literally have survived EVERYTHING and have stuck around. Without them, there wouldn't be an American branch and the money issue would have ended SEGA. Some might say, "But they've done so much harm than good! Why is the money thing such a thing to be praised for?" But it's huge, it's so big, it kinda does offset the wrongs. (Now I’m doing the healthy thing, doubling back and mentioning the good to try and recover. The damage may be done, but she did recommend some videos for me and was polite, so I’m just trying to smooth things over and leave on a ‘wrapped up’ conclusion. But... I should have just left it there in all honesty xD Some things you can’t double-back and correct lol) America is a great business-influenced mindset. None of us would be fans of Sonic without them.

(Friend continues to agree but realizes I may slip into ranting again. She just asks if I can watch the videos.)

America does have it's advantages in some fields and areas, but their biggest most redeeming quality is that they saved SEGA which gave us our biggest love and obsession: Sonic. Now, my usage in that writing was still off neutral, but combined with the slightly aggressive statements, made a GREAT contrast. It's still slightly praising

Friend: And they stopped Japan from giving him a human girlfriend right away.

Me: Exactly.

Friend: I will always thank them for that. (She’s still a sweetheart, working herself into the conversation so it stays healthy. lol Such amazing follow-ups too!)

So although I don't like what's happening, I'm also grateful... to a degree lol We need SEGA of America, which is why I think Japan just ignores them now lolol they know they owe them a lot.

(Friend mentions videos and as I go to save them to my ‘watch later’ sees that one of them is about Nintendo.)

Yeeeahhh I've noticed that Nintendo is starting to trail into 'cash grab' tactics and that's sickening (MORE AGGRESSIVE WORDING??? HAVE YOU NOT LEARNED YOUR LESSON CHILD?! It takes time to fully wake up lolol) cause before, I literally thought, "Nintendo can do no wrong" their marketing was ON POINT! but the stuff they said about Peach and now... I think new, unprofessional blood (like SEGA) has entered Nintendo and the older guys are either 'training' or 'retired to other ventures'. Nintendo is having it's own 'we used to not be prideful but now we're getting a little too pompous (Another aggressive wording... This can easily trigger people to comment with further aggression either against you or for you, but no aggression is the ideal. Which is continuing to show my lack of remaining conscious lol) about ourselves' and they're starting to act like Disney before their big crash. Disney also had 'limited time offers' with their VHS movies. Now, Nintendo is doing that. They'll make money, but at what cost? When you lose your costumer's trust...

Friend: And yeah the 35th Mario thing immediately reminded me of the Disney vault

Me: Yep. I'm worried for Nintendo. Don't get me wrong! Disney is really good with money grabs, but they... they also act high and mighty (More aggressive statements, wake up, darn it!!!) and their fanbase literally calls them 'an empire' so the fan-trust is gone. That makes you 'lame/outdated' and fans begin to look for 'what's cool?' instead.

(Friend is now re-realizing I’m ‘in and out’ so is trying to use a effective avoidance tactic by asking about different things to help my ranting fully stop.)

Sorry, I'm tired, I get on these rants and I don't mean too. (Trying to shake myself awake again.) I'm sorry.

So we returned to a healthy conversation, but I hope this interesting insight has revealed how to and what not to do about Aggressive Writing. Always stick to Neutral writing if you can, putting in a compelling counter-argument. In this aggressive writing demo, you saw that I tried to cover up my follies by saying counter-praise, but praise writing can be just as bad as aggressive writing. Passive writing can sometimes be annoying (aggressive word choice) too if you come off as disinterested or uncaring, which can still result in negative comments coming at you, or someone overly praising in their writings.

This has been all I’m showing you cause it’s kinda embarrassing ^^; but I hope it helps you in what ‘not to do’ while writing your ideas out :)b

Learn from my sleepy-time mistakes! lol

#cutegirlmayra #aggressive writing #what not to do #sonic #nintendo #marketing #sega #commentary #rant writing #an example to help teach #sonic the hedgehog #sonic idw #sonic comic #sonic rant

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hopesbarnes · 5 years ago

Text

Falling for a God

Summary: Everyone still thinks of Loki as the alien who ruined New York. But after getting to know him you realize he's far from that. But is this just harmless flirting or more than that?

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Warnings: Smut, 18+, Curse words, fluff, Loki is really cute in this

A/N: This is a repost of a one-shot originally posted to my AO3 page

The flirting has been going on for weeks now. You’re unsure if this is just a game or if the god wants you as much as you want him. It started when you were training one day.

You were sparring with Sam to work on your skills in the off chance your powers were impaired. For some reason, it was unusually hot in the training room. So naturally, you took off your top, thankful you put on one of your nicer sports bras this morning. It was one of those zipper front sports bras and it was slightly unzipped. However, it had been a push up one and maybe not the most appropriate one to wear in front of your teammates. But it was what was clean, and you felt confident in it.

Sam was looking at you, distracted by you taking your shirt off. You took this chance to knock him off balance and straddle him so that he was pinned. “Uh, I think that is enough for today Y/N, we’ll continue tomorrow” Sam managed to spit out as he scrambled to head towards his room.

You decided to go over to the treadmill that happened to be next to Loki rather than ending your session early.

“You nearly had that poor man panting, Y/N.” Loki snickered at you.

You looked at him confused and asked Loki what he meant.

“Are you that naive? How did you miss that he was clearly aroused?”

There was no way Sam was turned on by you, was there?

“Oh dear, you are that naive. What did you expect when you took your top off to show that off brassiere that quite wonderfully shows off your breasts. Then you straddled the man and had him beneath your thighs in a way we all dream of having you.” he says nonchalantly.

“I didn’t mean to do that, I- oh no” you mumble. What if he thought you liked him? “Uh Loki I should go shower, I’ll see you later,” you say as you head towards the showers to clear your head. It wasn’t until later you thought back to Loki’s words and how he admitted to wanting you on top of him.

A couple of days later you find yourself up late unable to sleep so you go out to the kitchen expecting it to be empty. But sitting at the counter is a shirtless Loki with a cup of tea and a Harry Potter book. You can’t help but giggle at this. When he sees you he magically changes the book to one of Asgard’s history but it is too late, you saw the book already.

“I- uh was just reading this book about history, I couldn’t sleep and this usually bores me enough that I can drift off.”

"Sure, whatever you say there, Wizard’” you laugh at his discomfort

“Okay, fine. I may have started this series and can’t go to sleep until I finish this book. I need to know who wins the tournament.” He mutters and drops the spell that turned the book into an Asgardian one.

So he was at book four then. “I’ve read them a few times and seen the movies more than that. It’s okay to fangirl a little Loki.” you smile.

“There are movies!?” he says way too excited and it causes your smile to get bigger. “Also who is ‘fangirl’?” It takes a few minutes to explain the concept of fandoms to Loki, and then to show him what fanfiction is. The rest of the night is spent with him telling you all of his theories and favorite parts of the books.

The next three nights you talk about Harry Potter and he tells you where he is in the series. The fourth night he finishes the series (you’ve learned that Loki reads really fast) and you guys discuss the ending. You make plans to start a movie marathon tomorrow after you promise to do it in his room where nobody else will find out his love of a mortal book series.

His room looks as you imagined, clean and very minimalistic. It’s decorated in dark black and green with one wall being taken up by bookcases. He has mostly books from other realms but you notice the last shelf is full of Earth books, mostly fictional novels. You spot the Twilight series and upon learning that he read the first one (he begrudgingly admits to liking it) you decide to watch those movies next.

Both of you settle into his bed and begin your marathon. You fall asleep during Prisoner of Azkaban and he pauses the movie and naps with you. It takes a couple of days to watch all of the movies as both of you fall asleep a few times. But you learn a lot about Loki and grow closer to him during this time.

A week later a couple of the Avengers decide to go out for the night, mostly looking for a reason to dress up and act like they aren’t protecting all of humanity. All the girls get ready in your room together.

“Nat can you do my makeup, I want to look hot,” you beg.

“Looking to impress someone?” Wanda teases and you stay uncharacteristically quiet.

“Oh my god, you are!” Natasha says shocked.

“Maybe, I don’t know!” You huff, “I’m not even sure how I feel yet. But he said something a few weeks ago and now I can not get the idea of mounting him like a horse out of my head.” you confess to your best friends.

They both stare at you, then start asking a million questions, who it was, what they said, and many more. Then they start to guess.

“Well, it can’t be Vision or Bruce unless there’s something we don’t know” Wanda points out.

You promise that it isn’t their boyfriends, that is definitely something you would not do.

“Not Bucky or Steve, those two barely take a moment to look at anything but each other. It’s not Tony is it?” Natasha asks as the two girls running through various team members to figure out your secret crush.

You laugh, “No definitely not Tony. Guys, I promise if it becomes something I will let you know, but for now, I just want to look good to see if they even were serious.”

You walk out of the room in a skin-tight black dress, black heels, and dark red lipstick to go with it. Noticing Loki isn’t dressed you go over to him,

“Not coming out Loki?” you ask.

“Midgard clubs aren’t really my scene darling,” he says still looking down at his book. He finally looks up at you and his eyes go wide.

“At second thought maybe I should see what this place is like,” he says while magically changing into black pants and a black button-down. You smile and go to leave.

“Hey Y/N, save me a dance would you?” he asks and you nod in response.

At the club, everyone is trying to get a picture or dance with the Avengers. Being a lesser-known member you are able to avoid this thankfully. An hour or two go by before you make your way from the dance floor to the bar. There you see Loki with a drink in his hand looking bored.

“No screaming fans wanting a picture with the almighty God of Mischief? you ask.

"It seems that once you kill people and try to take over their planet, they do not respond too kindly to you. No Midgard trusts me enough to come near me,” he says and you detect a bit of sorrow.

“Well I am from here and I trust you completely Loki. What happened before is in the past.” You assure him. “Well then I want a picture with you, it’s not every day you are around royalty, is it?” you tease and move to sit on his lap.

"Considering we live in the same tower I would say it is but if it pleases you then sure.” You take out your phone and take a few selfies with him and your heart flutters when he grabs your hips.

“I do believe I was promised a dance.”

“You were,” you say while standing and he grabs your hand and brings you to the dance floor.

The dancing started as innocently as it could in a crowded club, then he whispered in your ear.

“I never did compliment this dress, it truly is exquisite.”

You moved closer to him and continued to sway your hips along with the music. He grabbed your hips and guided them. Loki then begins to place small kisses along your neck making you moan and grow increasingly wetter.

“Baby, as much as I am enjoying this, we should leave now before I take you here in front of all these people,” he said into your ear.

In a haze, he took your hand and led you to where one of the Stark cars were. You quickly texted the girls letting them know you left and were okay. Loki couldn’t keep his hands off of you the entire ride back. He started by just rubbing your thigh but his hand kept moving higher up until it reached your underwear. You had to hold your tongue to keep yourself from moaning in front of the driver. He started to rub over your panties and you swear the look on his face was enough to make you cum. Unfortunately, you were already back at the tower and running towards his room like two horny teenagers.

As you entered his room he shut the door and pushed you against it. He pulled your dress up and knelt down between your legs.

“I apologize for leaving you hanging there Y/N,” he said before pulling your panties down and tossing them across the room. He licked a hot stripe up before flicking his tongue against your clit. You let out a moan that was far more high pitched than you wanted to. He continued to trace patterns with his tongue before pushing a finger into your hot core. It felt like heaven.

He pumped his finger a few times before adding another finger, then added a third and you felt the start of your high. When he sucked on your clit you felt your orgasm take over and you screamed his name. He continued to lick and lap up all of your juices before picking you up and walking you towards the bed.

“Wait, Loki.” you stopped him. “I don’t just want to fuck and be done, I want you.”

He looked startled, “Y/N I want that too, but are you sure. The parts of me you’re asking for are fucked up darling. I’ve hurt people before.” he said.

“Loki, I told you earlier, I trust you. You’re more than a villain. You get excited by books and cuddle when you sleep. You make me feel whole.” You confess. “But please, right now I need you to take me and show me a little bit of that dark side.”

He lunges towards you and kisses you fiercely. Why have you not done this before? He slips his tongue into your mouth and you moan into the kiss. When you finally need air and pull apart you feel dizzy.

He starts to kiss you again and you pull at his shirt not having enough concentration to tackle the buttons. Eventually, you tug hard enough to rip it off and hear the faint sound of buttons hitting the floor around you. Within seconds both of you are completely undressed and on the bed. His hands are all over you, from squeezing your thighs, to lightly touching your nipples he explores every inch of your body. You are doing the same thing, scratching his back, feeling his muscles that nobody else would know he has, and softly grinding against his cock while moaning loudly. His hands hold your hips hard enough that you know tomorrow you will have bruises. He flips you over so that you now are beneath him and starts teasing your entrance with his cock.

“Loki, please. I need you inside of me now. L-L-” you say but are cut off by him slowly entering you. He is by far the biggest you have ever had and the stretch feels amazing.

“By gods you are tight.” he moans. As soon as you get used to his size he starts to thrust out and back in leaving you speechless. Your eyes flutter closed but open when tweaks your nipples. “Be a good girl and leave your eyes open.” he pleads and you obey.

After a couple more thrusts he pulls out leaving you whimpering.

“Baby, I want you to ride me. I want you to use me for your own pleasure and cum on my cock. Think you can do that?” He says breathlessly.

You nod and climb on top of him before taking him all in one movement. You start to move up and down bouncing on his long thick cock. Loki makes these delicious groans the entire time, and you know he’s close when he starts bucking his hips up to meet your movements. He starts to play with your clit and you can feel your orgasm just out of reach.

“Come on baby, cum for me.” his words are enough for you to see stars and he shoots his load into you at the same time while yelling out your name. Once you’ve ridden out your high you collapse on his chest and he rubs circles on your back while kissing your forehead.

“That was by far the best sex of my life.” you manage to mumble sleepily. He chuckles and pulls out from you and moves so that you are next to him. He manages to tuck you both in with the comforter and you hear him tell FRIDAY to turn off the lights.

“Y/N, I think I love you,” he confesses and you smile.

“I think I may love you too Loki,” you reply before falling asleep in his arms.

In the morning you put on a robe and go to grab coffee for both you and the sleeping god in your bed. A few of the other Avengers are awake talking about last night. Before you can escape back to your room you see Loki enter the kitchen, dressed but missing his shirt.

Tony yells “Put a fucking shirt on man!”

Loki replies slyly, “I would have if Y/N didn’t rip it apart last night.”

The various Avengers all look at you with wide eyes.

“Wanda!” Nat yells, “You owe me, it was Loki, not Sam!”

You gasp at the fact that your best friends were betting on who you were trying to impress last night.

“You bet on me?!” you yell at them. They laugh but you ignore them and take the coffee cups and turn to leave with Loki hot on your tail, ready for another round.

#loki x reader #Loki Laufeyson #loki fanfic #loki smut #loki imagine #marvel smut #marvel fic #loki x y/n #marvel one shot #loki odinson

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ddaengyoonmin · 5 years ago

Text

Faerie Realm 14

Pairing: Ot7xReader; currently mainly Jungkook x reader with past Jimin x reader and um maybe some Taehyung x reader? 👀

Genre: fluff, angst, smut(In previous and later chapters)

Theme: Based kinda on sword art online a lot of similar ideas and themes kinda combining the idea of them trapped in the game, but the world is closer to ALFheim online

Warnings; fiction video game beast killing, (giant turtles it’s not graphic just mentioned) Taehyung gets himself in a predicament. There’s not too much in the way of warnings but let me know if I forgot something.

Word count: 4.4k

Taglist: (no one got back to me on if this taglist is still good or not so I’m just reposting it lol) : @taekookandyoongi @life-anime-food @i-like-puppy-mg @seesawsmin-flower @karissassirak @btsvisuals @vynia

A/n: um... don’t hate me?

Where floor two differed from floor one was its climate mostly it was hotter. The game had generated similar creatures and plants in most places that were similar to floor one, but everything was just slightly colored more in browns, tans, or warmer colors. You hadn’t really noticed a trend in the colors but when you think of it a lot of the creatures and plants from floor one were in blue tones, and silvers and deep green.

The layout of the map was also very similar. The main town was in a central location just like floor one’s town, and it was also just nicknamed a simple name, “Main 2” was what all of the players were calling it.

One area though was completely new and different than anything seen on floor one. Where the snowy ice capped mountains stood in floor one, now stood tall mountains with bright glowing red lava constantly flowing from their peaks.

No one had been able to get close enough to climb the mountains and see what was at the top yet. For some reason flying gets disabled once you hit the base of the volcanoes, and you have to climb. With the lava constantly pouring down the sides, it's impossible to make it up without dying. No one has even tried to risk it. But, the theory of some is that the portal to floor 3 sits inside the mouth of the center volcano. This theory was then further supported by the strange light that some had noticed would shine up from the taller central volcano at night. Most assumed it was always glowing; it was just so faint that you could only see it when night was at its darkest. Portal to floor 3 or not, something was up there, and with how hard it was to reach, it had to be good.

“When you get to level 30 you should pick the extra experience perk over the money when it gives you the option to select a milestone award.” Jungkook suggested to you. “It's not like we don’t already share anyways.”

“Are you sure?” You sat on the wooden bench, elbow on the table with your hand pressed against your face, staring at your screen, level 29 with your experience bar half way there.

When a player hit level 30 they got the option to choose between a giant sum of money, or a permanent perk for the rest of the game that would increase their experience gained from kills by 50%.

You did think the experience would be nice to have, leveling up quicker would certainly help you survive. Then again, so would the money. It was more than enough money for you to buy you and your whole team all new upgraded armour and equipment, and that would certainly help keep you alive as well.

Another new thing that level 30 unlocks is potions. You actually were relieved that the need for your class of fairy was lessened by that. Now that a lot of players were able to self heal no matter what class they were, you weren’t constantly hassled by strangers on the street to join their teams without healers.

Even more than that, it put your mind at ease that Jungkook now at level 32 can carry around potions with him wherever he goes.

You would still have the benefit of all potions you make having extra strong effects due to you being a water fairy. Hoseok had just reached level 30 this week and he’d discovered this perk in his player profile under his active permanent skills list.

“I took the experience, I think it's the smartest. I already make plenty of money kicking ass and being the best at this game.” Jungkook winked at you with that cocky smirk of his stuck to his lips. You never knew if you wanted to smack him or kiss him when he acted like that, it was a mixture of both.

The tavern that the two of you sat in was your regular hangout spot now with your team. Tonight though, it was just you and Jungkook. The girl behind the wooden counter serving beers in giant tin mugs was an NPC with giant breasts and a big smile named Flower, and you could hear her right now repeating a dialogue you’d heard a million times.

“Welcome to Muspell Tavern, what can I get for ya!”

“Hoseok took the money.” You commented. “If I took the money I can get you that dagger you wanted to commission?”

Jungkook shook his head. “No, I already have something in the works for that.”

This was the first you were hearing this. You made direct eye contact with him and cocked an eyebrow.

“Since when?”

“Since...For a bit alright. So go with the experience alright.” Jungkook insisted.

You gave a tiny sigh and nodded.

“It was a close decision anyways, but I’m sure you’re right.”

------------------------------

One of the great things about Faerie Realm was being able to cure your hangover with a simple press of a button.

Now, it wasn’t free, but 20 gold is still not the worst price for that throbbing in your head you woke up with that morning to clear up.

You tapped the sleeping Jungkook on his shoulder and when that didn’t work you resorted to putting your pointer finger on his nose and tapping a few times.

He scrunched up his face annoyed, but the expression was just so cute you couldn’t help but giggle.

“Time to wake up Kook. Clear your hangover and let's see what everyone is planning for the day. I hear Tae and Jin are up already.” You told him.

Jungkook nodded and sat up.

Your team had been able to put all of your camp items in your inventory and transfer your camp to a location you found in the woods on floor 2. So, you and Jungkook had continued to upgrade and build your small tent up to a two room tent with a divider for a bedroom and living room space.

You got up and left the tent, Jungkook wouldn’t mind if you didn’t wait for him, he might be a while waking up.

Taehyung and Jin were sitting on logs on either side of the fire pit, each with a wooden mug in their hands.

“Breakfast?” You asked, chuckling and pointing to the mug in Taehyung’s hand as you sat next to him, your shoulder slightly pressing against his arm now as you scooted to fit next to him comfortably on the log.

Taehyung didn’t reply for a second, like something had distracted him, he stared at you blankly.

“Earth to Tae?” You leaned into him pressed against him hoping to jostle him out of his strange state.

It worked and he shook his head slightly, chuckling and gripping his mug with both hands tightly, staring down into the liquid it contained as if it was some kind of puzzle to figure out.

“Just, bad sleep.” He mumbled.

“Ah.” You nodded your head up and down slowly, giving him a look that told him you weren’t buying that but you weren’t gonna press further.

Jin then spoke up from across the fire.

“Hey can you tell Jungkook that I can’t find that metal that comes from the giant turtles here on floor two? All of the red turtles here just drop meat, the green ones back on floor one always dropped shell parts so I think we’ll have to travel down there if he wants his dagger any time soon.”

You looked over at him, confused.

At that moment Jungkook had walked out from your tent.

“Jin! Damnit, that was a surprise.” Jungkook groaned.

“You’re surprising her with you getting a new dagger? Boyfriend of the year.” Jin scoffed playfully.

Jungkook laughed and punched Jin in the shoulder as he sat down next to him across from you. Smiling over at you and giving you a cute wink that no one else saw. Your cheeks warmed up and you felt your stomach start to flutter, it was such a small thing, but you still couldn’t help the wave of happiness that would flood over you when Jungkook would even just slightly flirt with you. No, you were sure that would never go away.

“Well. I guess she can know that, since you’ve spilled the beans already. But, you say anymore and I will kick you so hard you’ll be back on floor one.” Jungkook laughed.

“Noted.” Jin replied, feeling slightly embarrassed to have spilled a secret.

But, why was that a secret. Jungkook was collecting materials for his dagger with Jin...did that mean…

“Did one of you open up a blacksmithing skill line?” You gasped with your jaw feeling like it could fall to the ground.

You heard Taehyung gasp next to you as well, this must’ve also been news to him.

Jin stood up, his fox ears sticking straight up proudly on top of his head. He bowed to you and Taehyung with a big grin on his face.

“Guilty.” He chuckled, sitting back down after his dramatic display. “I figured it would come in handy if our group had our own weaponsmith so I asked around and did the quests needed to open up a blacksmithing and woodworking skill line. There's still one more skill line called Leatherworking that would be needed if I wanted to make certain outfits and armor. But, I think I can get there too!” He rambled on excitedly. “I figured my first big item should be for one of you guys, so I asked Jungkook if I could try and make that Shadow Dagger he’s been wanting.”

“That's amazing Jin!” You smiled, clapping your hands together. “Well that's settled then! We should all go to floor one today and get some shell parts!”

“Yeah? You’re fine with that?” Jungkook’s face lit up at your words.

You nodded “Yeah, It’ll be good for me to just do some grinding right now anyways with how close I am to level 30.”

The three boys nodded in agreement.

A sleepy Yoongi now wandered out from his tent with a messy haired Hoseok close behind.

Hoseok pressed a button on his screen and his hair snapped back to its well styled smooth blue normal look.

The two of them sat down at one of the other logs around the fire without a word, yawning in completely perfect synchronization causing the rest of your group to break out in laughter much to Yoongi and Hoseok’s confusion.

-------------------------

You got the whole team updated on the plan. A simple day of collecting shell parts and you’d all send Jin the materials.

You had managed to wander off and get separated from your group, you weren’t as worried about that anymore on floor one though, with your level the things in this woods would have a very hard time landing any kind of critical strike on you before your team could get to you.

The two turtles you’d just fought off were right by a beautiful little creek that you’d found.

‘I wouldn’t doubt that there are a lot of turtles up and down the creek, I should let the team know…’ you thought.

But for some reason, you hesitated on that.

It’d actually been a while since you did anything alone, without one of the boys with you, usually Jungkook or Hoseok.

So while it was extremely selfish you decided to venture down this creek alone.

There were a lot of blue and white flowering plants lining the once shallow creek, that was actually getting deeper and wider and seemed more to be almost a river now.

You fought many of the giant turtles on your way there, your experience bar now hovering so close to your level 30.

It had been about an hour of walking when you reached the place where all of the water in the creek had been flowing from.

A large waterfall poured down in a graceful veil from about 30 feet high up on a ledge, falling down into a beautiful pool of water, and in the center of the pool was a tiny little island. It was only a small six feet by four feet wide sandy little piece of land. But, sitting there was a beautiful silver chest, with a sparkling blue glow around it.

Without thinking you excitedly ran toward the water at the chest.

“y/n wait!” a voice yelled.

You spun around, your feet at the edge of the water almost about to step in.

Taheyung stood behind you, now reaching forward and grabbing your shoulder pulling you back.

“Doesn’t this seem like the type of thing that’s gonna trigger some kind of monster fight when you step foot in the water?” Taehyung asked you.

You looked around at the calm serene sight with the lovely chest just sitting out in the open for anyone to take. He's right, too good to be true.

“Your water attacks probably won't be very strong against it if it ends up being some type of water creature which i wouldn’t doubt. So I’ll attack it and you just keep me healed alright?”

Taehyung suggested.

You nodded in agreement. You couldn’t believe how stupid you’d almost just been, walking into a monster fight alone without a thought at the sight of something shiny.

The two of you stepped into the water together, just enough so you were up to your ankles.

That was all it took, Taehyung was right.

Only a few seconds after your feet touching the water a blindingly bright light shone up from the entire pool of water.

It was a white shimmering radiant light that seemed to have tints of all colors of the rainbow reflecting off when you looked at it the right way.

You and Taehyung looked at each other with the same confused expression.

The light which you could only now describe as somehow extremely...loud, shone like that for about 30 seconds before it toned itself down just enough so that you could now see standing in the center of the water, next to the chest, a figure.

"Don't be afraid Water Fairy, Sylph Fairy. Step forward and take the chest." A voice spoke out. You squinted your eyes and stared forward at the figure who you could now make out as a woman wearing a white dress. She had wings as well. You'd almost mistake her for another player if you didn't know better.

But, something was off about her.

"I don't trust it." You whispered to Taehyung, leaning in to him.

Taehyung nodded in agreement, staring at the Fairy in the center of the pond with a skeptical gaze.

"I think we may have to step forward more still though if we want to trigger the next part of this. Be prepared to heal both of us." Taehyung added in.

You took a deep breath in and waded further into the water, Taehyung following next to you.

The two of you were now past where you could stand in the water, and still nothing had happened. The figure was becoming more and more clear, a glowing beautiful blonde fairy dressed in white silk and adorned in gold jewelry.

Once you made it to the small island, dripping wet and slightly out of breath due to your lack of swimming skill, despite your class being inclined to it you'd never worked on that skill line much.

The small blonde fair stood in front of you smiling with a golden staff now in hand that you hadn't noticed before.

"Take this staff from my hand." Her voice boomed loud and commanding, it seemed as if it echoed throughout the whole floor, too large a voice for the tiny girl in front of you.

You and Taehyung exchanged looks of 'what do we do'

It seemed forever passed before Taehyung finally just stepped forward, arm outstretched and leaning forward towards the large and heavy staff tightly clutched in the girls hands.

Almost instantly a loud crack like thunder sent Taehyung flying back so fast that you couldn't register where he went.

He was gone...

Did he just...

No...

You gulped and felt your stomach tensing and your hands shaking.

You didn't see him anywhere, but you also didn't see the tell tale pixels floating up towards Faerie Realms sky that happened when a player...

"Take this staff from my hand." Her voice repeated exactly the same as before.

Did you have a choice? Should you run and get help? Could you?

If you tried, would the same thing happen that happened to Taehyung?

Most likely.

You needed a different strategy.

"I don't want the staff I just want my friend back." You spoke sternly at the girl in front of you.

"To get your friend back. You must take the staff." Her voice boomed out again.

You felt your heart start beating normally again, Taehyung was safe, it was possible to get him back.

That made the importance of doing this the right way even greater.

"How much?" You asked.

A strange thing happened, something you'd never seen this game do.

The NPC in front of you seemed to glitch. Blue pixels took her place for a split second and you heard the warbling crackle of her sound malfunctioning.

"H-H-H-How M-M-M-uch?" She stammered out.

"How much to just buy the staff from you? If that's what I need to get my friend back." You spoke, not too concerned with the games errors and more concerned with getting Taehyung back safely.

"One, One, One, One," She kept repeating.

"One coin?" You questioned, leaning forward to see if you were catching all of her words.

You went into your inventory and pulled out a single gold coin into a physical item so that you could try and hand it over.

You weren't going to feel bad about exploiting a glitch in a game that could actually cost you or your friends your lives.

The girl glitched once more and held out her hand. You placed the single gold coin in her palm and she closed her fingers around it, handing you the staff in exchange.

You looked around, waiting for Taehyung to appear, but he didn't.

Another loud thundering crack sounded out and the light returned, only for a few seconds.

When it was over the girl was gone, but the staff remained in your hand.

A notification bubble popped up on your screen.

'Acquired: Restoration Staff of the Blue Pool: Amplifies all healing abilities channeled through the staff'

Your eyes widened, it was perfect for you. It also had the benefit of being incredibly beautiful. It was heavy and seemed to be pure gold, smooth all the way down the handle with gold vines etched into the metal, leading up to a blossoming tulip like flower at the top.

Suddenly you snapped back into what was actually important here.

"Taehyung!" You screamed. He hadn't been returned...

"Y/n!" You heard a voice echo back after a few long seconds.

He was alive, you sighed out in relief. But, you couldn't see him. You spun around in circles a few times to see if you could tell where his voice was coming from.

"Tae!" You yelled again.

"Y/n! I think I'm behind the waterfall!" You heard him shout.

Without missing a beat, staff in hand you sprinted into the water towards the waterfall, swimming until you got to the tiny strip of land that sat to the side of the waterfall.

"Taehyung you're in there?" You tried to push your hand through the water, only to feel a sharp sting and hear the chime of your health bar taking a small hit.

It seemed that you couldn't just step through.

"I can't get in!" You whined.

"I can't get out either, I already tried walking through and using all my spells and weapons on it. It's useless." You could hear the desperation in his voice.

"Wait." You looked at the staff clutched in your hands. "The girl said the staff would help. This must make the water part or something..." You thought for a few moments. "Okay step back." You nodded to yourself, a small encouraging 'you can do this' as you pointed the flowering tip of your new staff at the water in front of you.

"Okay?" Taehyung, not knowing your plan, still listened on faith that you had a good idea in mind and stepped as far back in the cave as he could. It wasn't a big cave, about the size of an average bedroom. If your bedroom was a cold, dark, damp, rocky prison.

You used all of your power to try and shoot an attack from the staff.

Closing your eyes you braced yourself for whatever recoil might come with the attack. But, nothing more than a quiet fizzle and spark came from its tip.

Shit.

"Taehyung, you can come back, nothing happened." you groaned, now going into your inventory to check out the description of your staff to see if it had any helpful tips for using it on the waterfall.

"y/n...I-" Taehyung's voice cracked and he stopped himself, sighing and shaking his head.

"I'll get you out of there don't worry." You yelled to him.

You started reading through the staff's summary and noticed at the bottom a count down reading 52:43 and going down. Underneath it read 'Blue Pool Staff Ultimate Ability: "Moses" this move can part any unmovable water force with a recharge time of 1:00:00'

"Oh." you whispered. So the small fairy must've used the staff to part the water and emerge from behind the waterfall, you just hadn't seen her come out because of the light.

"Taehyung you're gonna be okay!" You giggled. "You just have to wait 50 minutes."

"Oh?" He yelled back excitedly. You could hear the relief coating his exclamation.

"Hey y/n?"

"Yeah?"

"You're gonna wait with me right?"

"Well I kind have to, I'm the one with the staff."

silence for a moment.

"Well you could leave and just come back."

"Me going off on my own didn't work out so well last time, I think the buddy system is a good plan." you chuckled.

"Y/n I love you."

You felt your stomach fall to the floor and a chill run through your spine.

No. He didn't just say that.

Not him. Not Jungkook's best friend. Not when you already struggle so much with...

No. Hearing this from Taehyung was not good. Because you might actually...

“Y/n?” Taehyung called out from behind the almost unreal blue veil of water separating the two of you.

“I’m still here…” You spoke quietly. Not quite sure how to respond to his confession. “I just don’t know what to say. Jungkook is…”

“I know.” He cut you off.

You couldn’t see him well, you wanted to just push through the water and run over to him, shake him, ask him why the hell he thought it was okay to say this to you now.

“I just thought you should know.”

"Do you want me to say something back to that? Taehyung what the hell." You felt tears now rolling down your face.

"I just...I'm tired of just thinking about it every day and not being able to say it. Jungkook is my best friend. I know. I'm an asshole for this. I know. But...I just can't help it."

Your knees were growing weak, you slowly sat yourself down cross legged on the flat stone ledge you'd been standing on.

"Taehyung. I can't say anything back. No matter how I feel. You know that." You spoke out so softly that you weren't sure if he'd even heard.

It was quiet for what felt like almost the whole remaining hour.

"I think I do want to know." Taehyung broke the silence.

"What?" You replied back dryly. You'd zoned out into thoughts of Jungkook leaving you if he ever found out that once again you were feeling like doing something unloyal.

"I want to know how you feel about me. I need to hear you say it. It's not fair to feel these things and not say they are real." The pain in his voice bleeding through the water between you.

"No." You whispered, digging your fingernails into the palm of your hand.

"Y/n..."

"Stop." You sobbed, your eyes clenched shut, trying and failing to make walls so the tears couldn't escape.

"I love you." He said once more.

At that moment a small ding sounded and a notification popped up that your staff had recharged.

"I'm letting you out now." you muttered, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand and standing up shakily.

You pointed the staff at the waterfall and a bright light came out from the tip.

The rushing water now seemed to have an almost invisible quality. You could see Taehyung standing on the other side, looking almost as much of a mess as you.

"I-" You managed to get out, but nothing more.

"Do you love me back." His voice cracked again on his last word.

You felt your lips trembling as they tried to let the words slip past them. You couldn't say it though, you didn't feel like you could.

How could you tell Jungkook's best friend that you'd always admired him from the moment you saw him? That when you fell asleep on his shoulder, you felt warm and comfortable? That sometimes, right before you'd drift off to sleep you'd imagine the feeling of your lips on his...

Before you could stop yourself you were leaning forward to do just that.

With no hesitation his hands reached around your waist to lay flat against your lower back and pull your close against him.

His lips were soft and gentle against your own moving slowly as if he was trying to drag the moment out as long as possible. You could hear him let out a small happy hum when one of your hands reached up to ruffle the hair on the back of his head gently.

This moment was good. This moment felt right.

So why was it so bad, and it felt so wrong.

You pulled back from Taehyung, your lips trembling again, you recoiled your hand away, as you should've done at first.

"This is a fucking brilliant trend you're getting into y/n." A familiar voice came from behind you.

Shit.

#jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #taehyung x reader #taehyung x you #bts x you #ot7 x teader #bts x reader #bts fluff #bts smut #bts angst #taehyung angst #jungkook angst #btswriterscollective #bts fanfction #faerie realm

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