#the stresses of being asexual in the dating scene

[katkitpaddywick]

(trying out a tumblr vent, don't mind me)

[ettawritesnstudies]

Aspec prompts part 2

because I can't find something like this and so I guess I have to make it myself. This is meant for characters on the aromantic or asexual spectrums (grey-ace, demi-ace, romance-favorable, etc.) who are in relationships but doesn't erase that part of their identity

Watching TV together and the ace one ruthlessly mocks the bad romance subplots or analyzes why the compelling ones work so well, their S/O mentally takes notes

The ace one cringing at kissing or sex scenes in movies or TV shows, their S/O gives them the remote so they can skip it. (They get a kiss for being so considerate) (jokes are made about double standards)

The extended family finds out the avowed spinster/bachelor cousin finally got a s/o and the gossip chain lights on fire. If this comes out at a family gathering, someone might faint. Interrogations ensue. Pictures are demanded to know if this person really exists.

People make comments about looks and whether or not s/o is attractive and they get incredibly defensive "no they're the most gorgeous person in the world how dare you" while also being befuddled because "the looks aren't the point they're beautiful because they're a lovely human being why are you all so shallow?"

S/o gets a new haircut or tries on a new outfit (or for an angsty version, gets some new scar or illness or something that makes them self conscious about their appearance) and asks ace partner how they look, ace responds with some combination of genuine aesthetic advice, flustered approval, or "you always look lovely to me" because the trappings don't change anything about their emotional connection.

Going from one "level" of intimacy (hand holding to hugging to kissing etc.) can take a LONG time. Like, "they were friends for three years before dating" and "they've been dating for over a year before they have their first kiss" long time. The slow burn to end all slow burns.

Allo S/O never pushing for physical intimacy, genuinely (but pleasantly) surprised if grey-ace or demi-ace partner is into it because it was never expected. Grey-ace partner is just as surprised as they are.

Ex: after dating for a year+ the grey-ace partner gets caught staring and gets all flustered, less because they got caught (they are dating after all) bit more because they were staring and it feels weird but nice but awkward but nice

S/O must meet the seal of approval from friends/siblings/trusted mentors, their advice is invaluable but also comes with a healthy degree of heckling.

Non physical forms of affection, you already know these but double down on them:

Quality time: dropping everything to meet each other for lunch, scheduling weekly date nights, parallel activities and sharing ideas, watching their favorite TV shows or reading their favorite books to share the fandom experience. Inflicting absolutely terrible memes at each other.

Gifts: getting trinkets while on vacation, memes at 1am, painstakingly hand making something for a birthday or anniversary, "I got you a coffee because you're stressed, I have your order memorized"

Acts of service: doing dishes or other cleaning for each other on bad days, researching solutions to problems, getting groceries, taking care of admin adulty bullshit so their partner can have a moment to relax.

Giving each other space for their projects. "I know you barely have any free time to work on this Thing you care a lot about so I'm going to make sure no one disturbs you today"

Words: leaving poetry or little notes around the house, praising each other for their accomplishments, "do you want me to kill [nemesis, asshole professor, etc.] for you?"

[narabea06]

Tell me your Nina headcanons silly person

Or tell my HC on anyone you want to!^^

You. YOU. I like you. /p

Nina the Killer Headcanons

TW: Abuse, Manipulation, Death, Toxic Relationships, Meltdowns/Breakdowns, Murder, Implied Ableism

Nina is polyamorous, biromantic asexual, transfem nonbinary, and goes by they/she/it/neon.

She is currently in a polyamorous relationship with Jane and Mary and loves both of them with all her heart.

She had severe mommy issues, but had a great relationship with her brother and dad. Her dad died while in the military in a plane accident when she was 12.

She was in a friend group with Jeff, Jane, Jesse, Mary, Liu, Clockwork, Lyra, and Toby pre-incident. Now she's still close friends with Jane, Jesse, Mary, and Liu, and now that she's reunited with Toby, they are attached at the hip. Jeff and her are currently at odds with each other, and she hasn’t reunited with Clockwork or Lyra yet.

Jeff was able to manipulate her so easily because at the time, she was already at her limit with her mother, as well as accidentally isolating herself due to so many of her friends going missing/dying (namely Clockwork, Toby, and Lyra). Nina is still upset at Jeff, but wrongly blames herself for getting manipulated.

She was a band kid, and was in the wind ensemble. She also did color guard for a few years.

She is an absolute scene kid.

Her, Toby, and BEN are very close friends and hang out a lot, and see each other practically as siblings. She hates to admit it, but BEN severely reminds her of Chris. BEN knows and tries to ignore it. Still hurts though, especially since BEN is scared the only reason Nina hangs out with him is because she misses her brother.

Nina grew up in a Mexican household and fluently spoke both Spanish and English. She ended up teaching Jane and Jeff some Spanish as well, and is currently trying to teach Toby.

Their mother was named Michelle, and her dad was named Tomas.

She and Clockwork dated in highschool. They had a very healthy relationship but they broke up from Natalie being too scared of commitment and the idea of their relationship being long term. They broke up on good terms, though Nina still had some feelings on her end after the break up.

They are stubborn as hell, and hate accepting help from others, even if it's for something small. This is due to growing up being told to figure out everything on her own and being unconsciously taught to never ask or accept help because she was considered "useless" if she couldn't figure out how to take care of herself.

She listens to a lot of different artists, but one of her favorites is Melanie Martinez. Her favorite song is EVIL. Nina also listens to Penelope Scott, Insane Clown Posse, and 6arelyhuman religiously.

They have generalized anxiety despite being an extrovert, as well as consistent panic attacks caused by stress. She is also prone to sensory meltdowns that Mary often needs to calm her down from.

She was a true crime listener growing up, and would often hyperfixate on it a lot. Nowadays though, she can’t get herself to listen to it anymore due to her sometimes running into her name on there and immediately having to shut it off.

Clockwork and her never reunited, so as far as Nina knows she’s dead.

Her comfort food is either a blue raspberry gas station slushie or sour gummy worms.

Her dad and her shared a birthday, and when she was young, he would often take them out to a cheap gas station and buy them a bunch of snacks and candy, and they would drive around town together until midnight.

She trolls people on the internet sometimes, and loves messing with random people and sometimes will get BEN to hack social media accounts of people she hates.

They have AuDHD. Michelle, her mother, couldn't afford to keep her in therapy for any longer a couple months after her dad’s death, so she never got properly diagnosed. This lead to many teachers in Nina's life not having a lot of faith in her and not trusting her when it came to her symptoms.

Ngl, these are just the tip of the iceberg of my Nina hcs, but I only had so much space bc Tumblr wouldn't let me post the full list for some reason-

Part 2!!

[ask-the-no-killing-game-au]

Ooh, what a fun idea of for an au!! Starting simple, what’s the cast’s gender/ pronouns and sexualities?

(ooc) Here's all of them, plus a little fun fact about each person :D

Ace: He/Him, transmasc & gay

He still has the secret he has canonically, however because it's a much more positive environment in this AU, people close to him are helping to recover.

Arturo: He/They, transmasc & bisexual

Unlike canon, he has quite long hair. He's not the type to style it usually.. but Veronika is, so whenever they're together, he ends up with a random new hairstyle.

Arei: She/They, feminine presenting genderfluid & lesbian

Despite the lack of killing game, the scene in the infirmary between her and Eden still happened, just for a different reason. Because she doesn't die, she's able to improve herself into a much better person.. and yes, she's best friends with Eden.

Can't say their name, but the ultimate chemist: Tells people he/him, but secretly finds she/her or they/them more comfortable. Questioning their identity, she's actually transfem but they've not figured that out yet. (Whit thinks he knows.)

They see Nico as a sibling, and they see her the same way. Because she doesn't have her older brother (who they remember in this au), and Nico's family hated them, they kind of became unofficial siblings to support each other. Hu is a bit like the mom.

David: Any pronouns, transfem & nonbinary

Even though there's no trials, she still had the scene from the chapter 2 trial, just not in that environment. He wasn't manipulating people as there was no reason for him to there, but it turns out she has very bad mental health. Hu and Xander help her a lot, and even Arei sometimes, as he never manipulated her.

Eden: She/Her, transfem & lesbian

Eden always likes to hold events between everyone, especially the female cast, as she's a little scared of the men after Arturo still got mad and threatened her (in a different situation). In this au, they even managed to successfully make the cake, and after a talk with Whit about the subject, she's secretly excited to start inviting the ultimate chemist to her events.

Hu: She/Her, female & bisexual

Now that she's not under as much stress, Hu still likes to act as a parent to others. She's always there when people need help (but finds it very difficult to trust others sometimes). Also, multiple people from the cast deal with age regression*, so she loves to be there for them too.

* Xander, David, Teruko, the ultimate chemist, J, and Nico.

J: They/He, transmasc nonbinary & bisexual

After their identity was accidentally revealed (outside of the secret motive) and they realised how much they hate their birth name and being a girl, they came out as nonbinary & transmasc. Arei and Eden love trying to help in every way possible, even deliberately not inviting them to Eden's events.

Levi: Any pronouns, bigender, genderfluid & bisexual

Levi was always familiar with showing other people clothes, but during this au, they took up the hobby of making their own clothes. They looked a little silly at first, but overtime she became really good at it. She made something for everyone in the cast.

Min: She/Her, female & lesbian

Min is currently dating Teruko after she realised she experienced more than just friendship with her. Because they're in the academy they can't go out on dates, however they will watch movies, bake things, and often sleep in the same room.

Nico: They/Them, nonbinary, bi & asexual. Not particularly interested in a relationship but can experience romantic attraction. (They haven't canonically discovered neopronouns but they would love any themed around animals especially cats if they found out they existed.)

They carry a plush toy cat everywhere with them, even to simple events like lunch. They're canonically autistic in this au and it's comforting to them. Because of this they also experience other things related to it such as stimming and meltdowns, but with a bit of education to those unaware, it was happily accepted.

Rose: She/Her, transfem & lesbian

When Rose signed up to spend her life at Hope's Peak Academy as it was better than the outside world for her (that applies to everyone here !!), it meant she could break the contract that meant she couldn't have any of her own art. Now that she can call it all her own, she loves painting with Nico, and they're very close friends.

Teruko: She/Her, female & unlabelled sexuality

Despite the fact that she still has her bad luck, a lot of things have been put in place to try and assist her, and she's living a much happier life within the academy than she ever could've outside. Also, because there's no killing, she's best friends with Xander.

Veronika: She/They, transfem & pansexual

Just like Nico, Veronika is also canonically autistic (though she has low support needs, Nico has medium). She's very different to Nico, though, and both of them hate when they're seen as similar just because of their disabilities. Despite this, because they both end up spending so much time with Hu, she also sees them as a bit like family (though nowhere near as much as the ultimate chemist).

Whit: He/They, transmasc & bisexual

He's canonically dating the ultimate chemist, and after realising they aren't comfortable with their identity, he's the one helping them.

Xander: Any pronouns, genderfluid & bisexual

Because there's no killing game, he remembers his past in detail. She finds the difficult to deal with, but David is there to help them.

This took forever to type, so I hope these facts are interesting !!

[roseofhybrids]

The best way I've found to describe being aroace goes a bit like this.

Let's take a straight man for example. He's attracted to women, but not other men. No matter how handsome or kind, no matter how well he gets along with another guy, he simply isn't attracted to a guy like how he is with ladies. No matter what your sexuality is, straight, gay, bi, pan, you simply are not attracted to your family members. No matter how hot your parent or sibling is, you just simply don't have those kinds of feelings for them because they're a close relative.

For me, it's like that but with everyone. No matter how beautiful, or how well we get along, those feelings of romantic and sexual attraction simply DO NOT occur. Be it some wires in my brain not connecting or just some mutation in my mind, whatever the cause, I just don't experience those feelings. That's just how it is, c'est la vie.

Many can try to find a reason why they don't occur, find a mental switch that if flipped would make me be able to feel that way about another person. Personally, I don't see the point in doing anything about it.

Say they created some pill that would turn me from ace to allo. I probably wouldn't bother taking it. Not because "Oh not if I'm not ace I'll just be straight and I can't have that." (and the price this hypothetical drug would have in the US of A aside). I wouldn't bother because I don't see the point in doing so.

One night, before I knew what asexuality was, I can remember laying in bed thinking it over. I thought to myself, "Well, I don't like guys... but I don't like girls either... So, I guess I'm straight but just won't ever date anyone." It wasn't till my final year of high school that I realized the flaw in that logic.

It took the better part of a year to put two and two together. Learning the word asexual didn't make me ace, it just gave me a word to describe a concept I already knew. Heck, I can distinctly recall learning the word and finding the definition very relatable. But my thought wasn't "Oh, so that's what I am" no, my first thought "neat, good for them." It wasn't until health class when I started to think about it more. I learned that the age of consent is 16 in Ohio and was confused. I thought to myself, "what's the point of it being less than 18? We're all still kids, why would anyone want to sex?" Upon later hearing my classmates talk about sex and being in relationships that it started to click that I was the odd one out. The age of consent of 16 because teens have those feelings for each other. Yet I was a teen and I didn't. It was only then that the pieces feel into place.

In a way, it was the same as when I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. My therapist telling me that I have SAD (GAD now) didn't give me a mental disorder. It just gave me an explanation about something that was already happening. Why other people weren't scared into silence when meeting strangers. Why other people didn't have random panic attacks in the middle of class. Why others didn't get so stressed about being late for work that they give themselves 30 minutes to do a 10-minute commute.

Why does all that happen to you? Because you have generalized anxiety. Why you've never wanted a boyfriend? Why you get uncomfortable during movie sex scenes? Why it's never occurred to you that other high schoolers are horny? Because you're aroace. That's just how the dice fell, that's just how it be sometimes.

So, what would be the point in trying to change it? People can come up with X and Y reasons why I have to, and I have a counterpoint to all of them. But none of them matter in the face of one thing:

As I am now, I am happy and content with my sexuality. It's my life to live, and I'm happy to live it as an ace of spades.

[splatbandcanons]

High Tide Era headcanons:

Nishida:

Okay,so I headcanon him as being originally from 'Sea Atoll' (or like the Splatoon equivalent of Seattle) and grew up close to the grunge music scene

Just like the absolute sweetest guy, like ye,this is the guitarist to bring home to meet your parents

He is self taught and worked three part time jobs to buy his first guitar

Parents love him, kids love him, girl urchins with not a lot of dating experience love him...he's just a lovable little bastard man

Self deprecating humor is his coping mechanism

Gets stressed out way too easily

Out of the three of them,he is by far the one who cries the most (except for Taka when he gets broken up with)

Only drinks iced coffee but Kuze is slowly selling him on herbal tea

Kuze:

funky fresh asexual weed uncle

Went to fashion design classes and freelance designs costumes for other bands

Has a baritone singing voice

Opera enjoyer

Herbal tea aficionado

he high key worries about his band brothers and checks up on them often

He can cook really well and often cooks extra to give to Taka and Nishida because he knows that without his intervention those two would continue to forget mealtimes

Doesn't drink,but enjoys the ambience of bars

Played competitive chess in highschool

Taka:

Once let his intrusive thoughts win and spontaneously pierced his own ears

He won't admit it,but he has a major sweet tooth

never grew out of the child prodigy mind set, and you can tell, he's kind of a dick

Took ballet classes when he was younger

Smells like either axe body spray or Bulgari green

This boy has so many student loans

One look and you know for a fact this boy owned a fedora back in the day

The Bi panic is strong with this one

He's a major flirt and hopeless romantic

Bad at boyfriending

[cynicaldom]

I’m starting to explore sex & sexuality with another person (longtime lurker here but always did solo stuff) and we’ve been experimenting. I’m still figuring out whether I’m on the dom/sub side. Some aspects of dominating & control really turn me on... but outside of that, I don’t have a lot of desire to lead. I have a strong fantasy to be blindfolded and tied, let her be in charge, and give up a lot of control. I find much more attraction to being submissive, free, and being hers. (I’m also asexual so I think that’s part of why “leading” is difficult for me — I don’t have a ton of instinctual desires to guide me and fall back on. It’s genuinely scary being in charge bc I feel rudderless.)

At the same time, outside of the bedroom, I am a natural leader. I ask questions and listen well; to my anxious friends, I am the stable rock in the storm of anxiety; people ask me for advice and listen to it (sometimes too much, it’s frightening sometimes). I’m even at my best when I get to plan dates and romantic activities; I am decisive and form plans, and people seem to enjoy and trust me when I lead them.

All of this to say that, across all of the blogs I follow here, all of them display an archetype that I feel like I am hopelessly unable to fit. I want to be able to help & support my partner by being a leader, except when it comed to sex I want someone who will take charge and free me from the decisions, planning, etc. I can’t be the only person like this, but I feel like it’s rare and I’ll be unlikely to find someone who matches me in this way.

I hope you see this bc you & Amy have great content and I respect your thoughtful writings / posts on here! Cheers.

@amysubmits is on tumblr much more than I am so I asked her to chime in, but she ended up saying everything I would. I want to emphasize try not to stress fitting into an archetype. Nobody fits anywhere perfectly, and more often than not worrying about something like that just makes things worse. The rest is from Amy:

I definitely agree with you that here on Tumblr (and probably in other D/s or kink communities as well) about people who take the same “role” inside and outside of the bedroom (or play). But of course that isn’t how all people are. It’s certainly possible to be a sub during play but to be a dom otherwise. As far as how easy or hard it might be to find a partner who has needs that alignment, I really can’t guess how likely or unlikely that is? I think finding the right match is tough for almost everyone, but I’m sure there are people out there who would enjoy topping/domming in the bedroom but who are subs or ‘followers’ otherwise. You mentioned that a few aspects of dominating or control excite you as well - so depending on how significant those interests are, you might be able to find a good match with someone who likes to switch in the bedroom but you could be their Dom in the lifestyle sense?

It’s also common for people to enjoy power exchange during sex or scenes but to not have any agreed-upon power exchange dynamic outside of play. So if you like to lead but don’t necessarily need or want full spectrum D/s as far as rules or protocols or so on, you could have your playtime where you sub and then the rest of your relationship could just be based on your natural personality, so you’d be able to lead in the ways you naturally are inclined to, but not have a formal/intentional D/s agreement outside of play as long as your partner doesn’t need or want that. 

It’s easy to feel like the norm in D/s is to look at a few different categories that exist and smush yourself into one of the options. But in reality, a lot of people don’t fit perfectly in the popular categories. Even for those of us who have a bedroom role and a lifestyle role that do fit fairly well into a category, we may not fit into other kink categories perfectly such as cg/l or m/s or whatever. I like to advocate for customizing your relationship based on what you and your partner need and want when it comes to rules or titles and other things…but I think the same applies for your whole relationship, really. I hope you’re able to find someone who has needs and wants that are well aligned with yours! :) 

[kitkatt0430]

F and G?

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

"Oh, really? So you all didn't manipulate me into being the one who convinced Master Ansem to make that special lab for running experiments on hearts? I wanted so badly to prove I was one of you, that I could be taken seriously despite my age and you all… you used and lied to me. Every single one of you. Because Xehanort had us all so caught up in his cult of personality that you told a child that his guardian… his only remaining family had abandoned him. And that it was my fault for helping hide our experiments from him. You made me think he'd gone mad and I was to blame. I knew our experiments were wrong, but you were the adults. I followed your examples because I thought I could trust you to do the right thing, to protect me. I shouldn't have needed protecting from you!"

Part of Ienzo going off at Aeleus in Hearts in a Void

The full scene is that Aeleus started teasing Ienzo about his 'girlfriend', who was a friend who'd read into Ienzo's friendliness the wrong way since Ienzo is aromantic and instead of accepting she'd made a mistake and staying friends with him is now giving him the cold shoulder. It's sort of a 'straw the broke the camel's back' moment. Ienzo hasn't been feeling respected by Aeleus or Dilan as a coworker already and he's been stressed over realizing he isn't interested in romantic relationships and the way he was treated as a child was very manipulative and abusive - something Aeleus and Dilan were a big part of. And they never really apologized for any of it.

It was really cathartic to write, really. When I was first figuring out that I'm aromantic, my sister wasn't taking my refusal to sign up for online dating seriously - she never signed me up without my permission, but only because my brother-in-law convinced her that'd be a bad idea. Thank goodness for him, really. In retrospect my parents didn't really realize I was telling them I was queer when I came out to them the first time around. And my dad has a tendency to treat verbal arguments like he's won if I tear up - guess who stress cries easily?

Writing a character confronting someone who'd wronged him and wasn't listening when repeatedly corrected was something I really needed to write out. And while things have improved for me over the years - my sister is now a big supporter despite our differences and my parents actually understand that me being aromantic and asexual are my queer identities now (though dad's still a dick when we argue about something - he doesn't like to be told he's wrong and absolutely moves goalposts mid argument, multiple times, if it means 'winning'). I think the feelings I got onto the page for that fic are still with me and have influenced other fics as well. But there was just something particularly special about writing for Ienzo in that fic that I come back to when I'm struggling with my family over something.

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

So I usually write start to finish. But not always, which would frustrate me a lot before I started treating my ideas as something that could stretch across a series of fics. That way I can write a single fic, start to finish, but in terms of its placement within the larger story, maybe it's way down in the timeline and the next fic I write could be at an earlier point. I still mostly tend to write the separate fics within a series in chronological order, but I'm a lot more comfortable writing things out of order than I used to. It doesn't lock me up or frustrate me which has definitely shown itself in how much I write and post these days.

Send me an ask about my writing :D

[greyzoneeeeee]

Intro

I felt inspired by Pride Month, and occasionally throughout the year I get curious about #asexuality on tumblr, so I'm writing some stuff. :)

I've known I'm asexual for quite a while now. I'm a Cis Woman in my early 30's, but probably discovered the term "asexual" when I was....18-19 maybe? I don't reeeeally remember how I found out about that word but it was a very underwhelming moment haha. It wouldn't surprise me if I discovered it through tumblr though. I remember seeing the word, reading about it and being all "Oh that's me! wowww, well there you go", went about my day, and now here we are lol.

I've been incredibly lucky with the timeline of my sexuality. I did obviously grow up in a world where the default was straight, LGBTQIA+/LGBT I don't recall ever hearing or seeing. So when there were questions like "What does your ideal man look like", "What would be the perfect wedding" etc, I could answer those. I never had much thought or feeling behind it, but they weren't really hard to answer. I think that's also another benefit of being a naturally quiet/shy/introverted kid growing up; you're not really as involved in conversations. I was able to grow up with almost no hounding about who I like, why aren't I dating, do I have a boyfriend, etc. Also romantic and sexual conversations were quite...minimal? I wasn't ignorant to the fact that it all existed, but I wasn't in social circles where it was frequent conversation either? It allowed me to live in a very quiet bubble, so quiet that I never actually felt different from others and never got upset that I didn't have a crush or whatever. I kinda just assumed it wasn't my time yet, it'll happen eventually, and I kept thinking that until I found the word asexual haha.

On the flip side it made it a bit more difficult for me to resonate with #asexuality on tumblr. For the most part the posts I saw were about feeling like an outcast/different from everyone else, having trouble explaining asexuality to people, all sorts of things. All of which are incredibly valid, and I'm lucky to have lived a basically stress-free asexual life so far. Me who lived in my bubble for so long, who isn't "out" to anyone, means I don't ~feel~ asexual cause I've never felt....different. Or just different enough to care. Over the years I discovered more ribs under the asexual umbrella, and some of them I've thought "oh yeah I think that explains me more", but then I'm also never quite sure either lol, so I just stick with the broad term asexual. s*x mentioning below.

In regards to sex I think I float between positive-neutral-repulsed lol. Maybe it's because we grow up so exposed to sex being part of an intimate relationship, so in works of fiction I can look forward to that. Especially when it's the first time for a couple. Most of the time I stay in neutral in regards to myself, and then here and there float towards repulsed. Funny ole brain. I have noticed over the years that I can get exposure fatigue? to it. I can enjoy written sex scenes in fiction but if it's happening often in the book I get sick of reading about it. The same thing happens with TV shows, so you can imagine Bridgerton gets a lot of random skipping ahead from me hah. Also I find p*rn far too graphic so I don't watch it. I think I like the silhouette of it from afar? So basically movie/tv/book romance sex.

Attractions musings are next.

[whimsicaldragonette]

ARC Review: Never Been Kissed by Timothy Janovsky

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Publication Date: May 3, 2022

Synopsis:

Dear (never-been-quite-over-you) Crush, It's been a few years since we were together, but I can't stop thinking about the time we almost... Wren Roland has never been kissed, but he wants that movie-perfect ending more than anything. Feeling nostalgic on the eve of his birthday, he sends emails to all the boys he (ahem) loved before he came out. Morning brings the inevitable Oh God What Did I Do?, but he brushes that panic aside. Why stress about it? None of his could-have-beens are actually going to read the emails, much less respond. Right? Enter Derick Haverford, Wren's #1 pre-coming-out-crush and his drive-in theater's new social media intern. Everyone claims he's coasting on cinematic good looks and his father's connections, but Wren has always known there's much more to Derick than meets the eye. Too bad he doesn't feel the same way about the infamous almost-kiss that once rocked Wren's world. Whatever. Wren's no longer a closeted teenager; he can survive this. But as their hazy summer becomes consumed with a special project that may just save the struggling drive-in for good, Wren and Derick are drawn ever-closer...and maybe, finally, Wren's dream of a perfect-kiss-before-the-credits is within reach. A feel-good summer LGBTQIA+ New Adult RomCom, perfect for fans of Red White & Royal Blue, Boyfriend Material, and What If It's Us.

My Rating: ★★★★★

*My Review below the cut.

My Review:

This was suuuuuuper cute. Wren does come across as very young at first, but as the story settled into its groove I felt like his reactions and thought processes were actually very accurate for a 22-year old. He starts the novel fairly immature and at loose ends, but through the course of the story he gains confidence in himself. This is helped along by his managerial position at Wiley's Drive-in (where he has to find the line between working with his friends and being responsible for his friends' mistakes), his blossoming friendship with reclusive former film star and director Alice Walker, and his rekindled friendship and burgeoning relationship with his high-school crush Derick.

What begins as a terrible drunk decision - sending emails to all his former crushes and almost-kisses - ends up with a real chance at happiness.

Wren's friends are adorably quirky - sometimes a little too much so - and sweet. Reading the scenes of them together took me back to my college friendships. Derick is a bit of a mystery for pretty much the entire book and I think it could have benefited from some Derick POV chapters. The mystery does add drama and move the plot along in places, however, so I can understand why the author chose to do it this way. I also really appreciated how many of the characters were LGBT+ and how matter-of-fact it all was. There was a little bit of drama between Derick and his family but it wasn't too much and didn't detract from the sense of queer joy that develops throughout the book.

I listened to the audiobook version of this and really like the way the narrator chose to read it. His voices for all the characters were easy to tell apart and fit the characters very well.

I was fully invested in the story from beginning to end, and came away with a lot of nostalgia and also a real appreciation for how the author handled the story.

Also! It was SO nice to see demisexual rep in this story! Ace rep of any kind is hard to come by in fiction, and demisexual rep even more so. It was also explained really well without taking the reader out of the story and really fit Wren's character and experiences. As someone who is demi, I really appreciated the rep. It made me feel that much more connected to the story and more sympathetic to Wren. Especially when he decides that "queer" is how he's going to identify, with the knowledge that he's also gay and demisexual. It was very relatable. Society doesn't know how to handle asexuality for some strange reason, and it can feel very alienating.

The best parts of the story, hands down, were the scenes with Alice Kelly, reclusive film star and brilliant director - and cantankerous old lady. She really came to life in my imagination and quickly became my favorite character. The way Wren approached his friendship with her, slowly drawing her out while making sure she is always comfortable with what is happening, was wonderful to see.

I loved her story that was slowly revealed even more than Wren's and Derick's tbh. I would definitely read a book about her life. I'm glad she became such an important character and her story interwoven so thoroughly with Wren's and Wiley's Drive-in.

*Thanks to NetGalley and Sourcebooks Casablanca for providing an e-arc for review.

[cucheallaigh]

Am I Actually Interested In Dating Anyone Or Am I Just Lonely And Bored: The Recurring Aro Ace Dilemma

[curseofaphrodite]

I put the ace in Space Boy

asexual! Regulus Black x Reader

Summary: headcanons and scenes. Had this idea for a while so here it is!  Warnings: mentions of sex, very fluffy and cheesy.

Requested by my own asexual self.

‣ Regulus had mentioned that he’s asexual when the two of you first started dating. You didn’t mind it all, but he hadn’t talked much about it since then.

‣ After an year of dating, the both of you still had boundaries, but he felt stressed because it was the part of a relationship where all the other couples seemed to have sex, sex and more sex. 

‣ You never made any kind of hint that you wanted something more but since it’s been so long after he said he was asexual, he thought you might have forgotten about it altogether. 

‣  He’s nervous. He want to mention it again. He knows he had no reason to. You were very happy the way things were, and so was he. But he had to mention it again, right? Things were getting serious and even if you gave up your sex life, you could never have biological kids. 

‣ Needless to say, our boy Regulus was nervous. What if you break up with him? He knew you probably won’t, but the words what if existed just to taunt us.

‣  He doesn’t know how to start the conversation so one day he just comes to your place, gives you a bunch of flowers, looks at you straight in the eyes, and bestie, you thought he was going to propose or something.

‣ But instead he says (and very seriously, might I add), “I put the ace in space boy.”

‣  You tried not to laugh at how anxious he looked. Emphasis on tried.

“I know that already, Reg. You love space and you’re ace.” “You remember it?” He felt himself relaxing. “Why would I forget?” “Remember when you forgot to turn off the oven, black smoke filled the house, and I almost died—” “ONE TIME! THAT WAS ONE TIME SIX MONTHS AGO. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LET THAT GO!” “When you leave the baking to me.” He said, grinning.

‣  Did I not mention he loves baking? Well, he does. It’s his favorite pastime. He loves the way you’d smile when he brings you new cakes and pastries. He always smells of cinnamon and vanilla, both of which he uses a lot on his dishes. ‣  Anyways, now that he finally knows you remember he’s asexual, a huge weight lifts off his chest. He keeps saying he’s sorry that he can’t be with you in every way possible, but you firmly looks at him and says that sex doesn’t have to be everything. You loved him for him and he loved you for you. You did not want to have kids anytime soon and if you do, adoption is always an option!

“Adopting, hmm, that does sound good,” he said, already imagining little kids running around the house. “Oi, don’t start working on the adoption papers now! It was just an plan, I don’t want kids right this moment!” You said sternly. “Okay, but imagine adopting two babies! We can name one after your dead relative or something-” “We’ll name one Nicholas.” “Seriously? You’d name our kid after your fictional boyfriend?” “Fine, what about Cal?” He’s silent, looking at you like you just did a tap dance. “What?” you asked, alarmed. “Are we seriously thinking of baby names now?” He laughed.  “Just names! No babies!” You said sharply, but it did feel good to talk about it. You made a mental note to start looking at adoption agencies online. 

‣  From then on, he’s more carefree around you. He brings you flowers every few days, each of them unique and different. 

‣  He loves visiting the art museum with you! He knows a lot about art history, so he goes on about each piece and when he’s done he’ll remind you that even if all of the paintings are beautiful, none of them could even come close to your radiance.

‣ You’ll accuse him of being sappy but let’s be real, you love it.

‣  He’s just precious 🥺 He always kisses you on your hand, and when you’re overworking yourself, he’ll pick you up from behind and carry you away to the bedroom. You’ll kick and push and try to go back to your work, but he’ll demand you stay there while he gets you something to drink. (Just not coffee, because he wants you to sleep)

‣  When he’s the one that’s tired, you’ll call his name in an exasperated tone and he’ll give up whatever he’s doing, and drag himself back to bed. You’ll probably be reading some book and he’ll place a pillow over your lap and fall right into sleep.

‣  You’ll brush your fingers through his soft hair every few seconds, and when you’re done reading, you’ll slide to his side without waking him up, and sleep while hugging him. 

‣  For some, forever seemed like a scary word. But the both of you cherished it, because it was what you said to each other. Forever, just the two of you. And it was a promise you intended to keep.

[shinpredicts]

Pick a BTS Member Reading - Surprise Reading

You pick a BTS member from this group photo and then you will get a surprise reading.

How to do this reading:

1. Close your eyes and get into a relaxed mode.

2. Do not pick your bias. Clear your mind and simply pick a member from the picture below that you think will give you your answer.

Remember, this is a general reading so take what resonates and leave what doesn't behind.

Going from left to right:

#1 - Min Yoongi/Suga

#2 - Jeon Jungkook

#3 - Kim Namjoon/RM

#4 - Jung Hoseok/J-Hope

#5 - Kim Taehyung/V

#6 - Kim Seokjin/Jin

#7 - Park Jimin

1. Suga/Min Yoongi

Love will be quite challenging for you. You will have long periods where you are single or you will feel that every time you get into the dating scene/a relationship, there'll be a lot of drama and chaos. You will often feel that it's easier to be by yourself.

Intimacy will also be tough for you or you may want to have an excess amount of intimacy. You may be asexual or have a sex addiction. It's likely that you either have a tough time with people touching you, you've been deeply hurt in the pat related to love, or you keep wanting to satiate your sexual desires.

It's more likely that this life time, you will have to learn to love yourself and to be comfortable with being alone. It's more likely that you will not marry this lifetime. You may have chances of getting into a long-term relationship, but it is more likely that you will stay single when you are older.

For this life, it is more about learning to accept yourself and love yourself. It is more about focusing on yourself rather than on others.

2. Jeon Jungkook

Finances will be a very tough part for you this life. Money can come easily, but it can also go very easily, or you can find it overall just very difficult to save money. Many times people will be after your money or you just have to spend it unexpectedly like to pay for repairs and some fine. Often the money you lend to others won't be returned.

You will also tend to be more generous with money and overspend, or you will be very frugal yet somehow lose money too. A lot of times you don't have much luck with money. Inheritances are unlikely to happen and even if they do, they come at big cost somehow like fighting with siblings or relatives in court. If you happen to win the lottery, it's harder for you to keep the money; things just happen that lead you to being in debt.

You can also have a habit of stress shopping or stress buying. You probably don't have very good saving habits. For the ones that do save a lot, when you invest, it's very hard for you to earn a lot of profit for the long term. Somehow investments or businesses go wrong for you.

This lifetime is for you to understand that even with money issues, you can still be happy and still survive. Money is not everything.

3. Kim Namjoon/RM

Your mental health is an area where you will struggle with a lot. You will likely get depressed or anxious easily. It's likely that you've suffered a lot during your childhood. You've been exposed to situations that have caused a lot of trauma.

You will find it often hard to connect with others and others can be very judgmental towards you. Often you are subject to criticism and racism. You will often feel like a victim. You tend to think pessimistically.

This lifetime is for you to cope with your mental health struggles and to heal from the trauma. It's a time for you to see light when you feel there's only darkness.

4. Jung Hoseok/J-Hope

Friendships will be a very tough area for you. You will find that it's very hard for you to make friends or be friends with people who actually care about you and treat you well. Often your friends are only there to use you or trick you.

You will often get hurt by your friends. They can betray you easily or see you as an easy target for fun. You tend to trust others too easily. You also tend to believe in whatever your friends say. Your friends are often very charming and are good liars.

It's also difficult for you to maintain friendships or gain new friends. You can have a hard time opening up to others over time and trusting others over time. You also tend to be shyer and are not the type to interact with others first. You can be quite lonely at school or at work etc.

This lifetime is for you to learn how to understand others better and to know who is actually there for you and who is just there to use you. You've also likely hurt a lot of people in your past lives so they are more likely to want revenge on you this life.

5. Kim Taehyung/V

You are prone to experiencing weird things around you or accidents. You can go through freak accidents like being hit by lightning, attacked by a bear, etc. You can also go through paranormal experiences or feel that you've been hurt by some unknown being.

It can be very hard for you to fall asleep at night. You often dream a lot or have a lot of nightmares. You will also be drawn to the occult. You might do spells or curses etc. You like knowing about the unknown.

For this life, you will need to learn that some things can't be controlled by you. You need to accept your fate and no matter how you change things, things will be set how it should be. Delays are only delays.

6. Kim Seokjin/Jin

You will often feel trapped this life and feel like you are living a secret/double life. You can be hiding your fantasies from others. You can be hiding your hobbies too from others. You can possibly hide your sexuality too from others. You can be hiding some dark family secret from others. You likely have many secrets that you don't want others to know about and will take to your grave.

You will often be attracted to a lot of desires that are perceived as "dark" or "negative" by others. They can be sexual fantasies or fetishes that can be frowned upon by the majority. You can also have "weird" quirks or pet peeves that people just don't get.

This lifetime is for you to accept yourself and to stop worrying about what others think about you. It's a time for you to learn to be free and to be confident in yourself.

7. Park Jimin

You likely have a lot of issues with your family. Family is a very difficult area for you. You can have very toxic parent(s) or relatives or siblings. It's possible that you've experienced living with very manipulative family members. You can feel bullied by family members. Family members often discipline you, judge you, negatively criticize you, or use you.

You will find that many family members are only there to get money from you or seek some use from you. They'll want a lot of favors from you in the name of "family". They can also disrupt your love life and friendships.

You can have parents who want to control your life fully like you feel you can't do what you want for your career. You can't marry who you wish like you're forced to an arranged marriage. Your parents can also use you to live out their dreams.

It's also possible that one or several of your family members are sick or get sick and you have to look after them a lot. Taking care of them will be very tiring for you mentally and also financially.

It's also possible that once you marry, your extended family can cause issues for you too. If they live with you, you can feel very stressed out and be controlled by them.

This life, you will need to learn how to manage family relationships and realize when it is time to cut out family. It's also time for you to forgive and move on.

[clearsky]

My Top Comfort Characters/Kins and My Main HCs For Them

(Note, not all my kins/comfort characters are on here, just the ones I have more than 5 hcs for)

CW: Korekiyo Shinguji (DRV3), Himiko Yumeno (DRV3), Shinsou Hitoshi (BNHA), Kyoko Kirigiri (THH), Tsuyu Asui (BNHA), Entrapta (Spop), Ibuki Mioda (SDR2), Celestia Ludenberg (THH), Funtime Foxy (FNAF), Peril (WOF)

Korekiyo Shinguji (DRV3)

Nonbinary

He/They pronouns

Autistic

Chains and loose accessories are for stimming

Likes the feeling of silk and cotton

Can't stand the feeling of anything rough or bumpy

He likes collecting small trinkets and the bones of small mammals

Can't stand anything salty. He'll eat it but he certainly won't enjoy it

Dating Rantaro

Can flirt, but only if he doesn't try

Petnames are a hell yea

Gets sunburnt really easily

Group dates with Celesnaegiri and Ikuzono

Can't cook for s h i t

Had a scene kid phase in middle school

Went to the same middle school as Celeste and Maki

Knew them when Celeste went through her "I'm not like other girls" phase and Maki was a Band Kid™

Himiko Yumeno (DRV3)

Female

She/Her pronouns

Lesbian

Can force herself to fall asleep within seconds regardless of where she is

100% forces herself to fall asleep when she doesn't wanna listen/talk to someone

Himiko/Angie/Tenko relationship. I'm calling them the Traffic Light Trio

She likes taking naps in the forest

She prefers enclosed/tight spaces more than open ones

Has several hundred stress balls and squishies laying around

She overheats easy

Shinsou Hitoshi (BNHA)

Questioning his gender, but goes by any pronouns

Knows he's Asexual, at least

Has no clue what his romantic orientation is though

The kind of person to carry treats in his pocket just in case he runs into a cat

Will stop to pet literally every cat he comes across

Great at reading people

Doesn't talk unless it's 100% needed

Hangs with Tokoyami, Jirou, and Denki most often

Aizawa has 100% unofficially adopted him

Fosters kittens

Not a big fan of physical touch

He is 100% in the bakusquad. Anyone who says he's in the Dekusquad is a c o w a r d

He and Tsuyu vibe

Knows a bunch of random facts

Dark humour? Dark humour

*skates backwards into his therapist's room slowly sipping from an absurdly huge cup of coffee* Candice you're not gonna BELIEVE the shit I just went through

In case I forgot to mention it, he skates

Kyoko Kirigiri (THH)

Mtf

She/Her

Bi with female preference

Burns go up to her shoulders/collarbone/chest

Prefers to just listen as opposed to saying anything

Knows a ton of random trivia about everyone else in her class

She keeps a notebook she fills with all the trivia

Doesn't celebrate her birthday. She just doesn't see the point of it

Doesn't hate sugar/sweets, but if given the choice she would choose literally everything else

Cuts her own hair

A cat person

Permanent dark circles

T-Tall 😳

Like,,, 6'1 at LEAST

Only person taller than her is Yasuhiro (6'3)

Canon no longer exist

Ahahaha healthy life habits? What are those?

Can't handle horror games

She's the kind of person you'd go to if you needed to rant but didn't want any advice

Polyamourous yo

Celeste/Kyoko/Makoto

She's a dom yall are just scared to admit it

Tsuyu Asui (BNHA)

They go by They/Them

Lesbian

They and Ochaco are dating

They like to hang with Shinsou

Which mainly just means the two sitting in one of their dorms in near total silence doing whatever

Can speak English and French as well as Japanese

Learned English from cartoons

Picked up French bc they thought it'd be fun

Prefers to stay neutral in the whole Bakusquad / Dekusquad thing

They're invited to all outings/events by/for both squads

They like puns

They're a dumbass but willingly, and for fun

Like "someone says they like dark humour and they'll turn off the lights before telling a joke" kind dumbass for fun

Great at poker

Likes Disney Movies

Very touchy once you get close enough

Not in a sexual way, just likes physical contact

Especially fond of piggyback rides and cuddles

Extreme fear of needles

Entrapta (She-Ra)

She/Her or It/Its

Doesn't bother trying to figure out whether she's cis, trans, nonbinary, or what

Was AMAB though

Short as fuck (4'7)

Strong as fuck though

Cuddle game strong

Physical touch is a fuck yes

Cuddles

Piggyback rides

Hugs

Anything where she's touching someone is wonderful in her book

As long as she's the one that initiates it

Anyone else touching her without her permission makes her freak

Prefers being high up

Makes it harder for anyone to sneak up on her

An ace at video games

When it comes to sexuality she just says she's Questioning

Ibuki Mioda (SDR2)

Any pronouns + Pup/Pupself + It/Its

No idea what their gender is otherwise

Biromantic Asexual

Just likes sexual jokes

Gets distracted easily

Has severe hearing problems

She's plays her instruments as loud as possible, with the amp right next to her, without ANY ear protection

It's caused some damage

She talks so loud bc she has no idea how loud is considered acceptable

Wears hearings aids most of the time

Several piercings and tattoos

Likes hearing things jingle

She has a bracelet with a few bells hanging from it

She'll shake it whenever she's bored

LOVES hair accessories

Ribbons are a particular favourite

Occasionally she'll hang little charms from her hair "horns"

The kind of person who never takes any pills/medicine bc she keeps forgetting she has to

Frequently uses emojis

Skates everywhere but she isn't very good at it

She keeps crashing into everything

Has broken every bone in her body at least 3 times

Most of which was bc she keeps trying to kick in doors and skating down the stairs

Celestia Ludenberg (THH)

Nonbinary

Any pronouns, mainly goes by She/They

Bi, 70:30

Collects mini hand sanitizers and can tabs

Has single handedly gotten Mario Kart, Mario Party, Monopoly, Uno, and Clue banned a grand total of 17 times (and counting)

The kind of person to purposefully target someone regardless of what game was being played

Favourite victim is Byakuya (bc he gets so upset about it and she finds that hilarious)

Mains Waluigi

Celeste/Kyoko/Makoto

Has several banned Twitter accounts bc whenever she's bored she'll start discourse on purpose

Hangs with Korekiyo, Ibuki, Byakuya, Yasuhiro, and Leon most often

It's a weird friend group but everyone's sorta gotten used to it

She and Byakuya gamble together occasionally

She tries to avoid it bc he'll willingly blow his entire fortune in an attempt to beat her

Autustic

Can't stand the feeling of water

Mainly bc she can't swim for shit

Horror movies? Hates them

Gets flustered super easily

Taka is her twin brother

Kotoko, Kokichi, and Gundham are their half siblings (Same father)

Peko and Toko are their cousins

She sucks ass at go fish

Fuck canon she's 4'11 now

C h u b b y

Freckles

Once she gets comfortable enough with herself she dyes her hair in the peekaboo style

Either black and red or black and blonde

Haven't decided yet

I'll be doing Celesnaegiri hcs as a seperate post but I just feel it's important for you to know that she expresses her affection verbally and is a very touchy person

Went to middle school with Maki and Korekiyo

Has horrible eyesight

She wears contacts most of the time but she always puts off buying more

After the 5th or so time she ended up blindly stumbling around a week after her contacts ran out Kyoko convinced her to buy glasses as well

Religious accessories yo

Like chokers and dangly earrings with crosses and pentagrams and shit

Likes wearing wacky earrings

Can run and do all sorts of tricks in heels

She and Mukuro are exes yo

Keeps her hair short so it's easier to manage

Hair never gets longer than her shoulders if she can help it

She seems like the kind of person who'd keep her bangs grown past her eyes regardless of how frustrating or inconvenient it is

She's a sub yall just don't wanna admit it

Funtime Foxy (FNAF)

I'm going on the record to say this

Funtime Foxy is genderfluid and that is that

Goes by Funtime

Any pronouns, They/Them most commonly

Plays music (keyboard and guitar mainly)

They and Funtime Freddy (Freds) mainly play with the kids

Freds mainly tells stories with Bonbon while Funtime more so plays one-on-one

Has nicknames for everyone

Circus Baby - Ringleader

Ballora - Bells

Funtime Freddy - Partner

Bon Bon - Bun

Peril (WOF)

I like both Nonbinary She/They Peril and Mtf She/Her Peril

They're both such good concepts

She's a lesbian, Harold

She only had a crush on Clay bc he was pretty much everything she was supposed to like in a guy

Gimme a moment while I force all my mental disorders onto this poor child

Autistic, Anxiety (Social anxiety, mainly, but she has most types), Adhd, PTSD

I'd like to reiterate yet again that She's a lesbian

Sunny and Glory were her gay awakening

Peril in Book 1: Damn, Sunny and Glory sure are pretty. Anyone would be lucky to date them. Clay would probably go for them over me. He would be stupid if he didn't. I myself would willingly date them over someone like me. They're just so pretty :(

Peril waking up in a cold sweat in the middle of arc 2: WAIT-

Rarepair alert but Peril/Sora

Peril meeting Sora: "Hmmm She's attractive. I would love to date her. Too bad I'm straight and in love with her brother lmao :P"

Peril, a mere month later, waiting for Ruby to leave Jade Mountain, pacing in her cave, running face first into a wall: WAIT-

I remember reading this one amazing story where Sora taught Peril to read/write and Peril found out she set off the bomb and comforted her/convinced her her run so that's canon now

Btw if anyone can remember what that story was called/what platform it was on and could tell me I'd appreciate it very much

I'd even be willing to draw a character of your's or make you an icon or something

I usually don't accept requests bc I get burnt out easy but this is a special case

She runs into Sora again sometime between the beginning of TOP and the end

I like to imagine she just goes wandering around

Anyway she confesses like a mere few minutes after running into her again bc Peril is just subtle like that

The actual confession takes 15 minutes and the entire time Sora is just sitting here like "👁👄👁 sure"

Bam Peril/Sora

Peril plans to keep it a secret for a little while longer but she spends 3 seconds around Clay and pretty much blurts it out

Clay, who wasn't even aware that Peril was a lesbian, is just "👁👄👁"

I wanna say Clay doesn't know what a lesbian is but in my canon Sunny is a lesbian so Starflight has already told him

Anyway he's super supportive

From that point Peril is sorta open about her sexuality?

Like, she gives Clay permission to tell the rest of the D.O.D bc she isn't about to risk being in front of them when they hear the news

(When Sunny starts actively seeking her out as a hang out buddy and Tsunami, Glory, and Starflight appear to tolerate her presence just a bit more afterwards she pretends she isn't confused by the change)

She's pink, white, and blue bc I said so

If you look at a certain angle in the right lighting her eyes, mouth, fire, and under her scales all look purple

But her fire is normally white and blue bc I said so

Also she pale as fuck bc in my canon their fire just sorta burns their colour away

You know how you leave something outside for too long and it gets sunbleached? Where it gets all washed out?

Like that but more extreme

By the age of 10-12 firescale dragons are just white with pale eyes

That's right not even the eyes are safe

Ram horns :P

I'm also fond of Peril/Sunny

Or maybe Peril/Sora/Sunny

But Peril/Sora is the main thing

On the topic of that bringing in my hc that if one sib in a sib group is fire resistant all of them are

She,,, She can change her scale colour

But only slightly and only if her emotions are strong enough

Bc I don't give a fuck about Darkstalker's scroll we were robbed of hybrid Peril

Unfortunately all of Peril's emotions are strong

Rainwing ruff along her head and neck

It's like a hood

It's mainly smoothed to her sides but when she's startled it flares out

RAINWING PUPILS

Y'all will know what those look like as soon as I get off my ass :P

She,,, She can mimic bird cries

Hates the summer

She has more than enough body heat already and the outside is just hot enough to add on and make her feel sick

She can somewhat control her heat but most of the time it's based on her emotions

It can go from standing-in-the-middle-of-a-burning-building-cant-see-your-nose-smoke-is-so-thick heat (Strong emotion) to Hey-thats-a-nice-cozy-campfire heat (Calm/"weak" emotion/Sleeping)

I'm just gonna make a different post with all my Peril hcs cuz there isnt enough room for all of them here

[absentcaryatid]

Angel’s Dilemma

An ATEEZ Mingi, Yunho, and Reader Polyfidelitous Triad fanfic by AbsentCaryatid

This takes place in the JC Saga world sometime between chapter 12 and the epilogue and right after Falling For Yunho. 2.9K words

The reader, Mingi, and Yunho are all dating each other and despite opening with a stressful scene this is mostly domestic fluff and an outdoor adventure about the characters and their developing relationship. Lots of relationship happiness is present.

Content note: polyamory, choking, fictional threat and murder mention, asexual reader

~

You had been dating Yunho for a few weeks now and things were going well. Today had been an interesting development in your relationship as you tried something new as a couple. He was hesitant but you were adamant it was something you wanted to do. “It is okay, I am not fragile. You can be rougher with me. I can take it.” Yunho looked unconvinced but at your nod he grabbed you by the shoulders spinning you around then pinned you against the wall. At the sound of a thunk his demeanor changed immediately and you saw his eyes go wide. “I’m fine, keep going, you are doing great,” you whispered before resuming your play.

He looked relieved then his features became harsh again. “Look, I don’t know what you think you saw but you won’t live to tell anybody about it.” He brought up his forearm to your neck and began applying pressure, lips approaching yours. You smiled as if you were enjoying it and he continued. Despite his strength, the effort was visible on his face. Even as it increased your smile remained intact as he looked on in confusion. In a reversal of expectations he began to pant, bowed over with the effort then finally giving up he released you.

“No harm can come to me,” you informed Yunho as he looked up questioningly. “I told you before, I am your guardian angel.”

“Am I done yet?” Everyone turned to Mingi who had spoken from the floor. Breaking character because you found the outburst terribly funny, you had to face the wall to hide your reaction.

“No you are still dead and stop making our girlfriend laugh. I thought you said being laid out like that felt good for your back.” Yunho could not be mad at his boyfriend when everyone knew he was the least skilled actor among the group, even to play a body. They had tried running through the murder scene the angel witnesses at the beginning of the story but Mingi’s attempts to die at the hands of Yunho playing a gangster were far too unbelievable to be anything more than comedy. Mingi was just too honest to be good at lying, even the pretending required of being an actor, and nobody wanted to see him change that very lovable trait.

“Cut,” Wooyoung called as he stopped recording with Yunho’s phone. “Bravo!”

Yunho scanned your face looking for signs of a concussion. “Let me get you an ice pack,” he offered with a worried frown.

“Don’t worry, I am good,” you promised.

“But you hit the wall so hard, we all heard it,” Wooyoung’s concern was evident.

“I do not know what happened. I could never manhandle anyone, even to act, and yet you were flung from my grasp.” Yunho looked physically pained believing he had hurt you.

“Acting,” you grinned. “I propelled myself and then you heard my foot hitting the baseboard. Neat trick, huh?”

Yunho breathed a sigh of relief. “Well despite your assurances that scared the life out of me. My heart stopped to think I’d injured you. I appreciate you being willing to rehearse with me but to keep both of us safe I’m going to stop. When I go over the action scenes with the stunt double for the drama ‘Angel’s Dilemma’ she will have some tips to do this safely.”

“I understand,” you said while putting a hand on his arm comfortingly, “I don’t want you worried.” Jongho and Yeosang clapped as you gave an extravagant bow and you joined them on the dorm couch. “I am still so confused people see that scene as romantic tension building. He was choking her. That works on somebody?”

Smiling at your innocence Yunho explained, “The manga ‘Angel’s Dilemma’ is very popular. Everybody likes the storyline of the guardian angel who did not want to protect the bad guy so she turned him good.”

Hongjoong piped up from the chair nearby. “Your gangster character sounds pretty tough, Yunho. I am very impressed at your acting skills to be picked for the drama when everybody knows you are such a sweetheart.” Looking Yunho over he added, “You are a total cream puff in behavior and appearance. Maybe Jongho can teach you how to look more menacing,” he suggested.

You looked to the youngest member with an assessing eye, “I can’t see you as threatening either Jongho, well most of the time.”

Instantly slipping into a character Jongho asked with an icy voice, “Do you really think I am not intimidating?” He turned a steady gaze on you and you backtracked quickly under the intensity while a chill ran through your body.

“Okay, I take that back.” You rubbed your arms to bring heat back to your limbs. “Still, you have range. You need to be in one of those cozy bake shop mysteries.”

Smiling warmly again he asked, “What are they?”

“Oh it is a whole series by a Korean-British author where Mr. Baker has to solve crimes linked to his customers. You might have heard of their rhyming titles- Mrs. Duffin Bought a Muffin, Mr. Muller Has a Cruller.” Jongho nodded in recognition after your description. He had seen large displays for the British mysteries in the airport shops when touring.

Yeosang said, “My sister loves the book series and was telling me all about them. The translations are pretty popular with the women in her neighborhood of all ages. They would love seeing you in the role as the Korean born Mr. Baker, Jongho. You look charming in comfy sweaters and that is his signature style.”

You promised to ask around to discover if the production you had heard rumors of was ready to begin casting. Jongho really did seem to suit the part with his charisma and romantic ballad image. It would not hurt to have him promoted that way when his active dating life kept taking his idol image in another direction.

Intending to go online for more information about the books Yeosang held aloft his phone displaying the newest photo of Jongho and two gorgeous women from a celebrity news website he had received a notification from. “I thought Wooyoung knew a million people but you may have him beat. You have dated some of the biggest names in K-pop in our age range, like you are some kind of sex god getting all these women interested in you.”

Rather than answer Jongho deflected, “It is not my personality?”

You looked at him. “Of course we like you but how would they get to know you like we do in such a short period of time?” Jongho would only smile because he had secrets to keep and they were not his own.

Work for the day now complete Yunho suggested a familiar movie but you were the only one to take him up on the offer. Topically enough Jongho had yet another date to get ready for and the others drifted away to a variety of tasks or relaxation. Even Mingi gave his two partners time alone to continue deepening the recent bond. Snuggling up to Yunho you reflected on how well the shift from friendship to dating was going. Yunho noted there had been little change in some ways. “I was already getting some of the benefits of a relationship when you would let me join in the things you did for Mingi.”

“Well it was so easy to double what I was doing when making up a foot soak for him, you both are so hard on your feet. Besides, Mingi would sit better for the treatment with you at his side to talk to.”

“Nevertheless, it is not something you had to do. I felt so cared for by your inclusion.”

“I’m glad.” Your attention returned to the film as you nestled against his side on the well-used couch. Mingi passed by taking dinner orders. He was making sandwiches again, just like when he “cooked” the meal for your first date with Yunho. After writing down your preferences he kissed Yunho’s lips then your head before leaving to survey the other members. “I love you so much,” you called out to him and his response was an eager grin then a kiss blown back for each of you.

With your approval Yunho paused the television to talk. “Until you two were dating I never knew what a fantasy of being with an ace could look like. Once it was right in front of me my crush flared up again, stronger than ever. Seeing the way he is besotted with you showed me how happy and full your relationship is.”

“All the touching we do features prominently but also a lot of time together and hearing ‘I love you.’”

“It means so much when I hear that from Mingi too.” He took your hand as his face shone with gratitude. “Thank you for being understanding when he wanted to date me as well.”

“I think we are both able to appreciate the gift of being polyamorous now. Thank you for giving me the space to come to you in my own time.” Leaning into his shoulder you put a hand on his thigh and sat together just happy to be side by side like you used to. The years sharing less affection were not lost ones because the distance had been necessary at the time but you were both glad they were long over. “I have missed hugging you so so much, and our conversations too.”

“It feels good to be wanted for traits other than my body.”

“Hey,” Mingi yelled from down the hall, “I love your personality too!”

Yunho grinned and said “I know. This was others in the past.”

Changing topics you let your date this evening know you were looking into getting an apartment in their building. “Keep an eye out if a single one is available, will you?”

A sly look crossed his face. “Already on it in several ways.” Yunho’s enthusiasm impressed you. You were about to thank him but were interrupted by a loud saxophone coming from nearby. “Yeosang,” he explained in a booming voice that was still difficult to hear over the instrument unaccountably being played in the dorm rather than a far better suited soundproofed practice room at KQ. “Come see,” he said turning the TV off and waving you after him. “He is getting pretty good, sort of. Better than when he started at least.” Nearing the bedroom Yunho began to stomp as he walked and you looked at him questioningly.

“So light on your feet when dancing, why the noise here all of a sudden?”

“On the nose,” he crowed which left you bewildered.

Wearing earplugs you wished you had too, Yeosang proudly showed you a simple tune he had learned that was best described as loud more than musical. He asked Yunho if Mingi had gotten his drum set request approved. "His tootling on the recorder can only do so much.”

“Drums? Mingi?” Your eyes narrowed. “What is going on, guys?”

Catching Seonghwa walking by Yunho raised his hand to get the attention of their senior but before he could say a word Seonghwa responded. “Flat out no, I am not going to take up the trombone, please stop asking me to join in your plot to make the man right below your room move out. I get that his yelling on the phone late into the night bothers you but I do not think retaliating is the answer even if I have been enjoying San’s high-decibel nightly raves in your bedroom.”

“Aha. I get it now. You are ‘helping’ things along in my favor. Why do I think you would suddenly become perfect angels as upstairs neighbors should I rent that room next?”

Seonghwa was moved by this additional information. You two did not interact as much as some of the other members but he still felt very warmly toward you and considered you one of the team in your own way, or at least part of the wider KQ Entertainment family now that your work as their chicken delivery girl had turned into a job with your CEO uncle’s company. “If you lived nearer would that put an end to your sleepovers on the couch? I would miss those after late nights of movies and talking.”

“We could keep those up, I enjoy them too.” It had not escaped your notice how parental Seonghwa was looking after you those nights. You looked forward to his early morning rounds when he would pull the slipped blanket back on to you and your stuffed animal along for the visit. It seemed like you were always too tired to move enough to grab it from the floor but awake enough to feel the absence of the secure weight. After a few sleepovers you realized Seonghwa did not need to be walking through the living room at that hour since a bathroom was off his bedroom and he was not getting a snack. The whole point was to check on you leaving you feeling warm in multiple ways and cared for. You were not about to give that attention up even if you ended up living only one floor below their dorm.

“Okay, I am in then,” Seonghwa decided. “Where do I get a trombone from anyway? Perhaps I could also suggest Hongjoong discover the joys of tuba arrangements for our songs.”  

Weeks went by quickly in frequent dates at the ATEEZ dorm around the team’s busy schedule. Privacy was important to Yunho but also simple time spent together at home was what you craved the most from a relationship anyway. As a rare outdoor adventure on the next break between comebacks he decided to schedule a hot springs trip for your little poly group.

The pleasant but lengthy walk was capped by stripping off in the secluded scenic area far from the discovery of most hikers. On other visits the this part of the day usually meant Mingi sandwiched between his lovers as you took in the breathtaking view. In a new twist you eased into the hot water and sat beside Yunho snuggling up against your dear friend and now regular dating partner. A further novelty was asking if it was okay to kiss his shoulder.

“This is new and most welcome. Are you asking for a change in our relationship?” He glowed at your nod.

“I am inexperienced at polyamory but I know I want assurances that any other partners you have are okay with me becoming your girlfriend.”

Thrilled by the words he had longed to hear, he turned to Mingi and went along with your playful request. “You have known for some time that there is someone who I have had a crush on for years. To my great pleasure she's is interested in me romantically now but wants me to check in with you. What do you think? Do you need time to consider it?” The men, your men, grinned.

Mingi put on a thoughtful look. “Well, knowing her as long as I have, and being my girlfriend and all, from close knowledge I can say I think you two are a good match. Go for it if you want.”

“This is real right? I did not fall asleep reading fanfiction about us sharing a girlfriend again?”

Shaking his head at the memory Mingi affirmed, “Yes, this is real you goof. But don’t keep her waiting for your answer.”

“This better not be a dream or I am going to be so upset.” Beaming, Yunho returned his attention to you. “My other partner has no objections to you adding to my happiness.”

“Good.” Wanting to temper his expectations you added, “An update in status really won’t change anything between us physically I don’t think. I am still asexual, it is just a newfound romantic interest in you. Very little will be be different from our dating other than adding the title girlfriend. Maybe joining you in the shower deliberately would be fun though. I could return the favor from years back and help you wash your hair.”

“The change in your heart might not be physical but getting to call you my girlfriend means everything to me. You know how long I have liked you. Loved you, really. May I say that now?”

You smiled with a strong nod of agreement.

“I love you!” He whooped. “I love both of you,” he added taking a hand from each partner. “As close as we have been while having Mingi as our boyfriend in common this means so much more.” A tear of happiness began to slip down his cheek and Mingi would have moved to brush it away but he knew this moment belonged to you. He watched as you lovingly wiped it while holding Yunho’s face then laughing together realizing your wet hands more than undid the gesture. Things would be different for the three of you from this point on but in a good way you would be discovering together.

~

On to Date With A Princess

Masterlist

[anxiouslyfred]

Aro Eyes

Summary: Virgil has noticed that since his eyes started changing colour to match his soulmates hair, it’s rotated between the colours of the Aro flag. It’s helped him figure out that he’s aro too, but there first meeting isn’t so simple.

/\/\

When Virgil was younger he had loved and loathed all the stories of soulmates meeting and immediately getting married, having a romance everyone was meant to dream of. Nowadays he just hated it, and the pressure everyone put on having a romantic relationship with your soulmate.

All of that was purely because his soulmate whomever they were, wherever they might be, was almost definitely aromantic and he didn't want to change that at all. Facing the questions and pressures of society was still an intimidating prospect for whenever Virgil met them though.

His eyes had been regularly changing colours to match his soulmates hair for years, ever swapping from green to grey to black with an ever remaining circle of white in them. What else was Virgil to believe than that they were aro? 

It had taken a while for Virgil to move from realising his soulmate seemed to be aro, to figuring out that he didn't mind that much because he was also aromantic and only really wanted a friend in his life partner, nothing beyond that currently. Part of him wished he could be so confident in what label to use for his sexual attraction since despite the purple, black and grey flag being very much his style, asexual didn't fit comfortably at all.

Today though he had to focus on costume and props to the current production in the theatre he worked at. There had been mentions of a few of the cast getting their hair dyed, either for the show or for personal choice, so Virgil was keeping an eye out, just in case there was someone with emerald green hair that matched his eyes today. He'd never decided if the white would be a shaved bald patch or if his soulmate might have a white streak permanently in their hair.

He was not expecting to have one of the visiting actors storm over and glare down at him while he was rearranging the props for the opening night. “Can I help you?” Virgil asked when they seemed content to start a staring contest.

“I'm Remus, he/him. You're Virgil the backstage expert and my soulmate. So when's our first date?” Individually Remus's words would have made sense for Virgil to hear, but all together? He was currently reeling from what had just been said.

“Nope, do not like that idea at all.” He shook his head, already backing away once the mention of a date registered to his mind, before waving up at his eyes. “Hang on, You're aro too. What do you mean, date?”

Remus blinked at the move, but shrugged, “Oooh! You're Aro? Cool, what chaos should we cause to stick it to the romance obsessed fools?”

“None!” Virgil exclaimed, completely lost over where the conversation could go next. Remus might be his soulmate but following his thoughts was a roller-coaster. “Are you just skipping over the fact that literally all signs I've had since our teenage years says you're aro too? Including the emerald green hair you currently sport?”

Glancing up to his white fringe as much as he could, Remus snorted a little, shaking his head. “I just like green. Parentals keep insisting that I can't keep it green for evens so the black and grey are my favourite alternatives. I've never connected it to the flags but now you've mentioned it.... FANTASTIC!! I've been supporting the identity of my soulmate my entire life despite only just meeting them! Am I the best soulmate ever or what?!” The yelling startled Virgil when it began, enough to get him hiding a little when stares where turned around to him.

“You're definitely the 'Or What' in that question.” He hissed out, trying to shove Remus into a seat and hopefully shut him up.

Remus just jumped away from him again, hands going either side of his mouth and yelling again. “HA! BEAT THAT ROMAN!! I'm the better soulmate and better brother too!”

“Who the hell are you trying to yell at? Sit down, shut up and zip it!” This time Virgil didn't give him the chance to get away, gripping Remus's shoulder's tightly while pushing him face first into some old scenery curtains. “If you're going to make this big a scene then you're going from helping me learn my identity when we never met to just stressing me out completely in person.” That hiss actually had enough of the fight melt out of Remus that Virgil let him go again.

For a few moments Remus remained leaning where he'd been pushed while Virgil took a couple of deep breaths to calm down.

“Sorry, do I have to keep sniffing these curtains cause they're damp and my nose is cold?” The mumble came eventually.

“I'll make a note to suggest the ceiling and roof is checked. Get out of it.” Virgil sighed, nudging the others shoulder. “Are we calming down now?”

“I guess, sorry I got over excited.” Remus pouted at him. “I just wanted to make sure you know you're important. To be good and not upset you.”

Virgil frowned, glancing at him over the choice of words. “Nice attempt, possibly a bit to loud for me. How about we try coming up with something extreme but quiet? Noise sets off my anxiety when it's unpredictable.”

“Painting? We could do painting together, and I could show you all the monsters and aliens I've tried designing for different climates that could happen in the universe.” Remus perked up a little, already thinking up ideas if Virgil understood the bouncing that was beginning.

“Sounds good, Remus. Bring some paints in and we can try doing that between shows and when you aren't on stage.” They shared a grin with that agreement made.

This week of shows would probably change a lot now they'd met and Virgil for once was excited to see what came next.