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#tbh i just want someone to leech body heat from and give me head scritches and go to the zoo with me i am a creature of simple needs
cucheallaigh ยท 5 years
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Am I Actually Interested In Dating Anyone Or Am I Just Lonely And Bored: The Recurring Aro Ace Dilemma
#personal#aromantic#asexuality#ace spectrum#i never really got into the dating scene because i was worried about accidentally leading someone on and hurting their feelings#the whole thing has always just seemed stressful and complicated and easier to avoid#but every once in a blue moon i consider it#because i do want a close relationship and commitment doesn't really put me off it's just i have zero interest in kissing and sex is eh#and those things are so intrinsically tied with romance that i've never really had the chance to figure out if i'm okay with romantic shit#because every person who's had romantic feelings for me has also wanted to fuck me and so the mere concept makes me viscerally uncomfortable#like 'on the verge of having a oanic attack and legging it and faking my death to avoid them' uncomfortable#which isn't very conducive to figuring out my own feelings towards anyone ever because i have such a horribly negative association#of people gaslighting me over the subject and trying to coerce me into giving something i can't give#romance is just Tainted for me and with acephobia/ace erasure still being such a big issue it feels like a very difficult thing to broach#to say nothing of being nonbinary on top of that#that makes it even more awkward and uncomfortable to navigate because people who tend to be attracted to me see me as something i'm not#having real deep thoughts this evening#tbh i just want someone to leech body heat from and give me head scritches and go to the zoo with me i am a creature of simple needs
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