#the spouses being ride or die because if not them then how else will they survive their bridgertons

[sea-owl]

Please, please have Portia call of a sort of war council with Penelope's besties who are all ticked.

But also imagine Michael being ticked because Colin also deprived him of the potential for a huge party for Penelope. Marriage means weddings and weddings mean booze! But no, Colin had to take that from him and Penelope! 'Enjoy being sober' he thinks as he pours Portia a nice glass of wine.

Michael (hearing that Penelope is getting married): A wedding, I love a wedding! Drinks all around!

Katie: Michael there is no wedding, Colin already married Penelope technically

Michael (gasps): You mean he married Penelope without throwing her a huge bash in her honor?! Oh someone is about to get real sober.

Dear Anon I love this so much and have been laughing about it for the past ten minutes so thank you.

For quick reference, apples have been thought of as a love/seduction fruit in the past. I have heard they were used as a marriage proposal and proposal of sex also sweethearts, giving them as a declaration of love. Now I'm not so sure how completely true this is but it's a fun little trivia.

I'm imagining after Portia's declaration that she heads back to Mary's. There, Kate has already gathered Portia's other daughters, Edwina, Simon, Michael, and Sophie. She tried to get Phillip, but he said he'll be back after he did an urgent errand.

"I heard our Penny is getting married?" Michael asked as soon as he was through the door. "Did Phillip finally toss an apple her way? Oh, they'll make such smart babies! We must celebrate with drinks!"

"Michael, there won't be a wedding," Kate said.

Michael pouted. "Why not? I know they're both introverts, but they wouldn't deny me finally being able to pull out the wedding wine for one of us!"

"I didn't even know Penelope was courting much less to someone serious enough for marriage," Simon said. "Especially since she's been missing for long."

Sophie nodded. "Are those two things related? Is it someone Lady Portia does not approve of?"

Felicity snorted and then got up to pace the room. Philippa squeezed her younger sister's hand while Prudence looked like she ate a lemon.

"Penelope was not courting anyone," Prudence explained. "According to what Felicity told us, Penelope's new husband got permission from Penelope's and Felicity's sire Lord Featherington."

Simon, Michael, Sophie, and Edwina all gave confused looks. Wasn't Lord Featherington practically nonexistent in his daughters' lives?

"So wait how is she getting married with no wedding?" Michael asked.

"That Bridgerton boy stole her," Portia spat from the doorway. "The Dowager High Queen and the High King confirmed it. And they deny bringing her home, claiming the marriage to be legal."

"Oh, Portia," Mary said, hugging her friend.

Portia went over her talk with Violet and Anthony and her declaration to not grow a single thing until Penelope was returned.

The group of friends were just shocked. The Bridgertons don't like anybody, they don't talk to anybody. So why steal Penelope away?

Prudence, Philippa, and Felicity all joined their mother on her strike and refused to use their nature magic.

Simon, Kate, Michael, and Sophie all wrote their own declarations to cease their jobs until their friend was safely returned.

Kate grinned her evil smile. "If that fool of a king thought I was annoying before he has seen nothing yet."

"I was tired of going on quests anyway," Sophie shrugged.

"I can take the time to work on some new designs," Simon said.

Michael snickered. "Enjoy sobriety."

During the negotiations for the 6 month deal, Michael sneaks in an agreement that Colin must throw a huge wedding. He's gonna make Penelope wedding wine damn it. She gave him a new fruit to use, and it's an aphrodisiac!

[theoccultz]

How will your future spouse pursue you ?

Ok you guys the series is finally here

All of my pacs are queer friendly

Since not everyone wants to get married , you could read for your s/o as well

Pics and dividers not mine , credits to their rightful owners @/saradika

Apologies for any mistakes

Let me know which pile you picked and don't be afraid to express your thoughts (:

Pile l . Pile ll. Pile lll.

🫀 Pile l.

For this series if you have any topic suggestion let me know I'll include it

>>> | Queen of swords , 4of wands , 5 of cups |

This person is gonna be competitive for your attention , they dont fall in love easily and when they do its ride or die , they are your typical bad boy stereotype that you see in the movies , they are someone who knows they are the best in the room this person's self esteem & self concept is amazing, their confidence speak for itself, they are someone who has seen a lot of things in life and their way of getting to you is very simple and straightforward, maybe in the past people weren't as actively pursuing you as you would love them too but this person is not like this , they are on your face they know they want you and they're gonna be sincere & upfront about it , this person is generally very quiet and people have a lot of ridiculous assumptions about them like they're a player etc etc but best believe me they're really not what others think of him , this person is hot asf , you could be a very stubborn person who takes decision carefully about their life and this will stress them out n,ot in a way to deceit anyone but they know they have to prove everyone wrong so that you see them truly for who they are awww:(

Anyways this person is very masculine in nature , they are gonna act as a mentor and a caregiver, you want this ? I got it , you need this ? Its on me ....and you're like wtf i can do that myself but its just their way to make you feel special , this person does not do that for everyone if they are doing 50% for you then they are gonna do 20% for their friends its like they value your connection a lot and they don't want you to feel like you're just like everyone else in their life , this person is gonna defend you in every situation be it with their family or friends they dont give a shit , this person is also very keen on you they notice everything about you , how you care for people what you like to wear so their another hobby will be gift giving they are very thoughtful and they'd love to make you smile . The four of wands with the five of cups rx is very much i don't want to see them sad , i don't want them to doubt our connection, i want to put efforts for them , i want to do SO much that this person never feel less about themselves, i feel like being with this person , one of the best things about them ...that you're gonna like is they are deadly whatever they do its 100% efforts they dont like to tease their partner even in a slightest way because they know words can stick with a person forever so they're very mindful ,people can envy this the most about you guys its like no one can say anything bad abt my partner if you're gonna be passive then i might play this game as well , they could have a scorpio mercury or virgo so whatever they say is gonna hurt the other person because scorpions and virgos are known for their details , they study people very deeply , whatever they say hold meaning.

This person is definately that cold hearted girl/ guy or you are because i'm picking up on this black cat energy from you and cats do not chose their owners instantly neither do they love everyone. I Also picked up on a very rockstar appearance like long hairs , leather jacket, ripped jeans , its so cool , they remind me of early 2000's era

How will they pursue you : competitively , your friends post you every week ?? ...i'm gonna post you everyday its that kind of person lol , the back of the deck I usually take that as an overall energy is ace of pentacle which is a very stable and set energy in its own so whatever they do , they do it to achieve victory , to be recognised, to show you that they are the shit (;

Channelled song :

Thank you for reading!!

🫀Pile ll .

For this series if you have any topic suggestion let me know I'll include it

| 10 of cups , strength, four of swords |

Ok so this is our cool guy /girl lmao

Even though they will be putting in efforts to pursue you , you shouldn't know that they are doing that , i feel like they will be pursuing you from the get go like this person on a random monday evening will just accept i have feelings for this person and i want them , now this person will try to make it seem like its all a coincidence, this could be a leo mercury or gemini they try to entertain people with their words but their words hold honesty which people cant always catch so they will try to make you feel comfortable like you should feel happy in their presence and it will satisfy them and they will replay this in their mind at night like oh this person laughed at my joke they touched me i made them happy and it brings a smile on their face , they might say or do things which will make you laugh take a scenario like OH ...and you're like what happened and this person is like deja vu darling i think we belong together the universe knows and its so cheesy but its also so cute , they like to break this barrier between you guys , this person will be friendly towards you , they will flirt with you , they're also very spontaneous and a little bit tricky they love to play with you , lets say you guys have a dinner plan and you're excited you're dressed up you have already reached the venue but they will purposefully show up late and when you text them they're like WHAT...? We had plans ? but they are just joking they are alrdy at the venue waiting for you to see them , they might even joke with you like oh i have 5 kids to feed ofcourse i'm late & its a very playfully banter , you play along like YOU match their freak ... its ridiculous you wanna be mad at them but you can't but i understand your feelings pile 2 and i validate 🙂‍↔️✋🏽

I really think this person is gonna steal your parents love like 😭✋🏽they are the favourite child now , this person has a tendency to play cool like they dont wanna give in first..... they want you to give in first its kind of a cute ego idk , let's take a scenario they say "love you " and you're like where's my " I LOVE YOU " and they're like yes "I LOVE YOU TOO" so petty 😭 they have this natural ability to piss you off , this is the type of person when someone would ask you guys ..."so who confessed first ??...they're gonna jump in like ofcourse it was them , they were crazy about me like you dont know i had to give in but its not true its the opposite. So as you can already guess their ass ? Dramatic ...but you cant say they are dramatic because they are gonna be MORE dramatic about it .

How will they pursue you ? With fear because i feel like they will mask their desire to make you theirs with humour you could start off as friends or colleagues so they cant be very open about their feelings because they feel like you are not focused on love and you might reject them so it's their little cute tactics to get to your heart yeah but they are gonna be very anxious about it they could even suffer from inferiority complex.

Channelled song:

Thank you for reading!!

🫀Pile lll.

For this series if you have any topic suggestion let me know I'll include it

• 3ofcoins, wheel of fortune rx , seven of swords rx •

This person will absolutely be focused on providing comfort to you whether it be emotional or sexual , they love to do things with you they love to hang out with you , they creatively express themselves, they are someone who's gonna listen to your rants they are gonna embrace every flaw & every good thing about you , you are gonna feel exposed in their presence there's something about this person knowing you more than you know them , they really love to spend time with you , i'm seeing this person pushing you towards better goals like your life is gonna improve being with them ,this person will be very happy for your success, they are gonna put you on pedestal they think you are more lovable than them and you deserve more than them and i can confidently say they'll always love you more than you love them its very sweet but also sad , they have insecurities yet they are here trying to soothe your heart, they are gonna apologise first its like they dont wanna lose you they know how to keep a connection you wouldn't need to worry this is a connection where you can let yourself just be you aint gonna walk on eggshells, they are mature , i feel like this person cannot express themselves through words so they prefer to write to you , take you to places with them , praise you infornt of others , make you something, i feel like this persons love is comforting and sweet , you are their equal and they want you to feel like that.

This person will definately engage more in your life , they are gonna be supportive towards you like a best friend, they will overgive to you , they can even say stuff like ...." as long as i'm here i'm gonna be there for you ".....they will hold your hand while you walk they will listen to your problems, they will embrace your silly nature , take you out , spend time with you " i'm getting this line you came and the other one is like you called " it went viral on tiktok i think its from a movie but yeah the energy is very much sweet

Oh you guys this is so sweet , you guys dont speak the same language? They're gonna learn for you we have that kind of person here , you know when they are in love they get hearty eyes it shows on their face and in their behaviour, those sneaky eye contacts , those blush when you are mentioned, the sincerity in their words ,its all there .

How they're gonna pursue you ? Its very passionate and being Passionate does not mean always having hots for each other and that is exactly how they will make you feel , you feel this wholeness i'm having a hard time describing it...its so divine...you know just so grateful and lucky to have a connection like this in this day n age , Yeah 😭this is sooooooo damnnn cuteee i'm scared of this person's energy its very intense , i mean your partner is into worshipping & if you like this then this is definitely your pile (:

Channelled song:

Thanks for reading!!

[ploppymeep]

I drew him but it kinda sucks, I will have to practice more at drawing him,

Anyway I just find him interesting and anything you want to say about him I would be happy with, I just want to examine him under a microscope he is that kind of character to me

IJUST. ACTUALLY SCREAMED IRL92):;)&::&$:/:7 YOU DREWW HIM SOOOOO FUCKINGFFFR CUTE i’m gunna cry ohmy goodness

since you drew him in the western au outfit i suppose ill give a little context for that max specifically!! ok so, maxy is (obviously) a trans man in every different au, and in this one he was the only daughter of a wealthy family that owned a large ranch. in the beginning before the horrors [which i’ll get to in a second] he starts kind of like every other max he’s just kind of an annoying spoiled brat who really only cares for himself and is just generally an asshole. the only person he really likes is his personal butler eden [@\tacticalvulva ‘s oc] who he grew up with. their relationship is kind of like, if eden was assigned to do something else for the day like run errand or something and one of the other butlers was supposed to tend to max for the day he’d be like “NO i want EDEN where is HE? hes the only one that knows how to do things RIGHT” cause hes very particular and also a brat [+ the autissmm… his routine]

anyways, because his parents “had no son” they set up max in an arranged marriage with Richard [ @/grfld101 ‘s oc] max was, well, furious when he found out and had a melt down. he thought it was unfair and was mortified by the idea of having to just be someone’s wife for the rest of his life. a big reason why this freaked him out asside from obvious reasons is that max has a very big complex surrounding control, he likes having everything and everyone around him EXACTLY how he likes it and the thought of losing any form of control/ having to sort of have his life dictated by someone else [EX: Parents, a husband] makes him want to die.

anyways fast forward to him actually meeting richard, he fucking HATES this guys guts automatically and is genuinely just incredibly rude towards him/ doesn’t give him the light of day, and will even order eden to do stupid shit like poor a bucket of water on him. anyways this goes on for awhile and one day max and rich are told to go on like a leisurely horse ride together to “get to know your future spouse” or whatever and he is NOT pleased. after maybe 20 minutes of silence he would say something along the lines of this in a very haughty voice,“you know im only out here because my PARENTS forced me to. if it were up to me i wouldn’t even be within one mile of you” really annoying turns up his nose. anyways long story short while they’re out in the woods he accidentally falls off his horse into a river/stream and is like AAAAA so rich goes down to help, and max who is incredibly embarrassed, instinctively shoved richard into the water aswell. this ends up with them like tousling but then they start laughing and just throwing water at eachother and shit. they have a “we have to dry our clothes” moment and so they end up sitting out in the woods for awhile, and after a bit of silence i imagine him being like “yknow ive always been jealous” “jealous?” “of men. you get to do whatever you want go out be free and take charge and i get to be, a wife.” and voz said richard would say something along the lines of, “ I never really saw you as a wife. generally, i mean. Not as wife material, just i don’t see that life for you”

LONG STORY SHORT after that max actually starts to develop feelings for him. rich already had sort of a budding crush on max before that but max entirely disliked rich before this encounter. along the way they DO fall in love and richard, knowing that if they stayed that their parents, (especially richard’s parents) would never allow max to live the life he wants he asks max to elope with him and gifts him his pearl earrings as sort of his own form of engagement. max agrees and both of them are sort of giddy with excitement/ anticipation the night they planned to run, but that was cut short by them being caught. they’re forcibly pulled apart and max watxhes as richard gets his eye slashed, but he’s dragged away before he can see what happens. in his mind they have killed richard. has soon as he can he runs hysterically crying to find eden screaming his name and he BEGS him to help him escape to anywhere that isn’t here. his one chance at genuine happiness and the love of his life lost in the same instant he is more distressed and traumatized than he has ever been in his entire life. eden, who would do anything for him, instantly agrees and gathers all the necessary things to get out of there on horseback as soon as possible.

on the first night they managed to find an in to sleep in Eden vows to never leave max’s side for as long as he lives. they already had a sort of codependent relationship before this but it becomes much more like, extreme(?) after this point. (there’s also the matter of eden’s unrequited love for max but i wont explain all that here…). max for the first few months has sort of extreme mood swings of being catatonic and then hysterically crying the next night until eventually it sort of simmers into his constantly pissed off/ on edge ticking time bomb default current state. at some point not to long into their escape eden ends up having to kill someone for max. and max, who on top of already being kinda fucked in the head now has experienced the huge trauma of the night of the slash+ escape, instead of being distraught at this he just kind of, laughs. it has to do with his weird thing with control/ coping, he sees how kind of easy it is to just, take someone’s life and the rush kind of goes to his head a bit. not saying he becomes kind of a serial killer but i’m saying he becomes kind of a serial killer.

years later he confides in eden that he’s TIRED AND BORED of being a vagabond and he wants to MAKE something of himself. there’s a period of time we haven’t really cooked on here in which he transitions [clothes hairstyle starts going my maximillion] and ends up becoming the evil ass mayor of a town. he gets a sort of high from being in control of the lives of all these little townspeople it’s like a fucked up dollhouse to him

THERES MORE TO IT BUT. IM GUNNA STOP THERE CAUSE THIS ENDED UP WAY LONGER THAN I INTENDED I hope this makes sense i didn’t proofread

also a lot of the things i’ve mentioned here are things i drew and posted with no context so if you wanna go back and look at them with some more context you can now .., yayy

also special bonus information, max’s voice claims are

pre transition/Western au: Blackarachnia beast wars

post transition: kuzco

LOL

[umhuhwellthen]

Uhhhh

Usagi Yojimbo

Fake Marriage AU:

Tomoe Ame x Usagi x Mariko x Kenichi

LISTEN LISTEN HEAR ME OUT OKAY

You know how that one advisor/vassal bastard whatever-his-name-is that convinced Noriyuki to marry off Mariko(lords could pick out spouses for their samurai)

What if...some staff in the court heard this plot and alerted Tomoe Ame before the fucker could bring it up to Noriyuki

And she's like fuck the only way I can think to get out of any arranged marriage is by being married but who can I...

Like always our boy Miya popping up at either the worst or best times possible

Now I don't know what logical loops Tomoe Ame goes through for asking Usagi plus his childhood friends to marry her but even though I don't know the why I know the what and how so let's get this AU rolling

She asks Usagi to take her with to visit his hometown for...reasons, yeah... And when they get there she goes dogeza(because girl is desperate and knows that lil shit gunning for her position will not only do a shit job as Noriyuki's right hand but definitely has the vibes of turncoat for self-preservation and so she needs this marriage) asking them to marry her

And they're like um, who are you asking????

Because the way they're positioned it looks like she's proposing to Kenichi, who is y'know married to Mariko(i wanted this to be pre-marriage but then i remembered Jotaro so sacrifices must be made for best boi)

And she doubles down "the three of you, a polyandrous marriage."

"WHAT!?"-childhood friends gang

Then she explains how it's to prevent a plot to weaken her lords court etc etc maybe some other stuff too to convince Kenichi and Mariko(Usagi is always down to help his friends, he's lied to shogunate spies and cops to protect himself or his buddies, ride or die)

A (reluctant) agreement is made and they do the wedding

Now it's basically

Mariko: Bi-crisis ⁄⁠(⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠•⁠⁄×⁄⁠•⁠⁄⁠ ⁠⁄⁠)⁠⁄ women...hot?????(living out her teenage fantasy)

Kenichi: Bi-crisis(Demisexual) (⁠‘///◉⌓⁠◉⁠///’) people outside of Mariko... hot?????USAGI HOT????? [Mariko was the only person he had ever had romantic or sexual attraction too so he assumed she was the only one for him, turns out if she hadn't been his first crush and thus birthing a rivalry with Usagi he would've developed a crush on him too, his type is strong sense of duty and good with a sword]

Usagi: Outwardly= worried about Tomoe's situation and how long this good thing will last before it's snatched away like all the things he's ever loved. (⁠・⁠–⁠・⁠;) Inwardly=YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!!! every secret desire and teenage fantasy is coming alive. \(⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)/ (huh, so I did have a crush on Kenichi back then...)

Tomoe: ya girl is STRESSED. Having to deal with political scheming, making sure her charade isn't found out, making sure that box she locked up her feelings for Usagi with stays buried deep, AND whatever blossoming feelings she has for his childhood friends because Oh No They're Hot (what is in the water for them all to turn out like this)

Jotaro is out here living his best life, finally getting the two dads he wanted PLUS a cool new mom?? SIGN HIM THE FUCK UP!!!

In summation: Tomoe Ame is living in drama/action/romance anime while everyone else is in a romance/comedy/slice of life anime

Endgame is polycule and Tomoe Ame being confused over how things ended up like this

Tomoe Ame tops them

EDIT: Tomoe's type is cringefail losers, the boys are for obvious reasons but you better believe I'm counting Mariko as one, look at the whole Jotaro reveal situation and say she made no cringefail moves

It's fine now tho, Jotaro gets his two cakes in the end with bonus free desert (does this metaphor even work)

Deberían decir gracias a @ranarenee por la inspiración indirecta para esto

Specifically this Art

[eulcgizeme]

eulcgizeme's plot brain rot

heyo weyo, listed below are just some plots i'm desperate to do so if you're interested, pls give this a like and i will come bother you. (: all of these can be for m/m or m/f pairings! heavily influenced from listening to ttpd for last four days

A. "even if it's handcuffed, i'm leaving here with you" for two former bonnie and clyde-esque characters who essentially out grew each other until they rekindle a little flame that gets them back on their ride or die bullshit, but one of them is insistent that the past is in the past (except maybe when someone's hand is down someone's pants oops). this would most likely be for eden [callum turner fc] since it's close to his backstory but watered down lol but could be someone else, possibly lyp adler [mike faist fc].

B. high school sweethearts remarried after they realized they were, in fact, far too young to have gotten married. it was messy, it was bitter, and fast forward they're remarried but unhappy bc they keep looking for the other in everything they do. an affair ensues and is it possible they've really grown up and come back to each other, or are they just as immature as they were back then? (possibly for andy rhodes, or knightley rhodes [josh o'connor or mike faist fcs])

C. based on the prophecy by miss taylor, where a promise to get married to their best friend if they're still single by x time and even though they're down for it, they're realizing maybe it's not the world against them but that they're not ready to belong to someone. fluff, comfort, and a bitter angst to not understanding why the person you've always loved suddenly doesn't want to be yours. (100% would have to be a new muse on my end but im ready)

D. muse a confesses to muse b that their spouse is cheating on them and ends a marriage. but instead of being hailed a savior, muse b holds it against muse a. add a little fortnight inspo and muse b could have lived right behind muse a, and muse a's marriage was the shit one while muse b lived happily until this revelation. muse a's marriage finally fixes itself and now muse b has to watch from their backyard their ex-best friend have the life muse a ruined by saying outloud the affair everyone but muse b saw. once again throwing my rhodes-burton family at this plot.

E. "like a tattooed golden retriever" about a young male model (i have a logan lerman fc in mind for this) taken in by someone else in the fashion industry who needs their next big break and is desperate. essentially plucks him off the street for his look to clean him up with little regard or what happens to him in the industry until they become emotionally attached and responsible for him.

F. two exes who broke up because muse a (who i'm thinking i might throw my callie adler [anya taylor joy fc] at for this! she does have a regular au lol but can be kept supernatural if ya want) was a mess tho muse b denies that it's a direct result of how they handled the relationship... and fast forward to muse a fixing themselves to spite muse b and everything they said about them.

G. and then a twist on the concept above ^ where muse a decides they're going to fix muse b to spite everyone around them. i can fix him (no really i can) as everyone insists they're no good. yeah, it's the song. and what of it?

H. begging for a plot based on the lines "it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden" and "sparkling summer" and "you deserve prison but you'll never get time, you'll slide into inboxes and slip through the bar." i had more for this but this whole post has been sitting in my drafts for two days and i want it out there, but if you're a sucker for smallest man who ever lived i will give you my all on deets for this.

I. unrelated to ttpd, but some more plots for callie and lyp adler as theyre supernatural au muses and lyp indirectly/accidentally did use his soul as payment for more power and didn't take into consideration that as a twin he is a soul split in two and also sold callie's soul.

just putting it out there that aside from mike faist/callum turner, i have some muse ideas for tom holland, barry keoghan, josh o'connor, david corenswet, jonathan bailey. i prefer writing male characters but i do have a couple of gals that might work for some of these if needed! (:

[belechoseyou]

Mars and Venus Surprised by Vulcan, (Alexandre Charles Guillemot, ca. 1827)

On Marriage

Throughout history, Marriage has often been separated from Romance, with the former being an arrangement for primarily economic benefit, and the latter, an indulgence of youth and secrecy which wilts soon after its embrace. Lovers who were fortunate enough to marry each other often found their great wish to be a curse which turned their fire toward bitter strife. I needn't recount in detail how women have especially suffered in bondage to the marital institution nor the religious justifications for their oppression. It is commonly known. Marriage has been perverted by men since the myth of Adam, who blamed his wife and God for his own treachery. The inability of their forefather to control himself in the awesome presence of feminine power was passed on to men collectively as a pathological fear of womankind. For this reason they dominate. And this domination, in which the man seeks to always be above the woman lest he fall, has corrupted romance and marriage.

I am no misogamist, however. Marriage, in its truest sense, is the exaltation of both the sexes-- produced through the man's willingness to fall entirely, pledging his heart to his beloved whom he looks up at. Foregoing ego fears, his fall is an occasion to ascend to true manhood in confident service of his love. The woman of true virtue is positioned in high regard, securing for herself the strength and fealty of the man, and granting him insurmountable bliss and happiness through her generous affection. She multiplies whatever the man gives like a fruit bearing tree one waters. Herein lies the source of the greatest creative power which generates life itself and is the very foundation of the human race.

The Forgotten Feminine The most beautiful and unparalleld love poetry is produced during times in which women are more visible and empowered in their societies. Courtly love was developed by poets who looked up at rulers of their hearts-- their patronesses. They submitted themselves, and were inspired by the divine to express in mere words their ineffable enchantment. This is because the woman is the one who captivates. We are the muses of the erotic- the ones gifted by the Lord with talent for controlling the ebb and flow of hearts. Like Venus birthed from the sea, the feminine is deep, mysterious, and sublime. Romance is our craft-- and the blood of men is the sea we arouse as the moon moves the tides. This power has been forgotten, buried under layers of lies which have been used to control women. They breed shame, fear of defilement, pervasive neuroticism, "ride or die" mentality, "pick me" behaviour, and the like. Women flock to podcasts in which "manosphere" charlatans tell them for hours how little they are worth, and how replaceable they are. It is a man's world, in their eyes, and a woman who refuses to settle for less than she can and deserves to get is considered delusional, gold-digging, ran-through, and more. Women are treated as fruits which expire in their mid-30s, who must rush to secure a man or else they will be leftovers-- unwanted and disgraced. Our fertility is ignorantly perceived only through childbirth-- supporting the narratives of our decreasing value over time. The irony in all of this is that as they degrade us incessantly on their dubious podcasts they prove their obsession with us, and our importance within their lives. It is unsurprising once we remember the fear of a female power which eats away at their diseased psyches. They fear to fall, and resent any lack of reciprocity they feel owed. Unhappily, many women now find themselves treated loathsomely like Eve, humiliated like Aphrodite was by her less than noble spouse, or slandered like Lilith. In view of the foregoing, The Bath House in the spirit of Chaucer's witty Wife of Bath, is dedicated to encouraging and nurturing the power of women, particularly in heterosexual relationships. Drawing on tales in classical myths, religious texts, historical icons, and contemporary case studies, we will examine the lessons which provide needed guidance for successful mastery of the feminine force.

[ivesambrose]

【 ��� ⚘ ✧ ❞ 】 ᴘᴏᴠ : ʏᴏᴜ + ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟᴏᴠᴇ 【 ❝ ⚘ ✧ ❞ 】

1. 2. 3.

Could be your future spouse / partner / whatever term you're comfortable with.

These are channeled visions and words an essence that's meant to be yours should you claim.

Take a deep breath, pick the picture that feels like a distant memory to you and scroll below for the messages 🤎

To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at jovescorpioreadings@gmail.com with your name and query 🌙

Picture 1 (ice hearts in coffee)

"you soothe me. God, you soothe me."

There are knots in your chest from emotions that weighed heavy. Like salt water filling up your lungs. You're quick to assume the worst. You've been told, "be understanding, have empathy. Be realistic." and you've gone with it. The flow. Till you realized you're not a parrot.

People come and go, but they courted you.

"my family, you're my family too. I found you." they say, bringing you your favourite beverage. They spent time on making it. Opened up YouTube, learnt proper presentation and poured it in the cutest glass.

"family can be you, me and mini us or you, me and a couple of fur balls it starts with you and me though babe."

You pull each other's sorrow away.

The sorrow that comes from the guilt of letting yourself go through circumstances in the past that you didn't deserve. The sorrow from people that took so much out of you that you barely had any empathy left. The wound you had to keep teaching yourself to stop touching.

They say nobody completes someone else. But being around them makes feeling complete by yourself easier.

Picture 2 (book in daylight)

The love here feels like the lyrics,

Strawberries, cherries and an angel's kiss in spring

My summer wine is really made from all these things

One of you is sensitive and gentle the other one tends to physically tire themselves for a goal or to prove a point. Overtime these qualities mesh together and became a trait for the both of you.

Like a warm hand on a chest when you're having anxiety and a kiss between the brows when you're on the verge of breaking.

It's not just being touched, it's like being held. Finally, being held strongly in a way that allows you to be less self conscious.

The relationship will have admirers and gossipers alike. Mostly because of the textbook romance others crave but y'all have with a peppering of luxury and a lovely backyard or more than one apartment.

You've learnt patience, tenderness and just how meaningful and impactful the way a lover's voice can be to one's soul.

Picture 3 (Teddy bear)

"I wasn't expecting to feel anything..."

"but you make me feel everything. Every little thing."

"I wanna bite my tounge and say, so do you."

One of you is what we call a tsundere the other has admirers plenty, both of you are intimidating and charming and caring in your own way. Either of you felt other was out of league, one of you is extremely hard to impress given their warmth and vulnerability was used against them repeatedly.

Neither of you backed down from the other.

Both of you were determined to win

Enemies to friends (maybe even mentor) to lovers? Seems about it.

"it's us against the world then, so be it."

"I told you, you're my ride or die."

For once,

It feels like having a friend that knows just the right things to say because they chose to listen, to understand, to feel and then speak.

The love is just not in their words even though I believe both of you are rather poetic. It's in the acts service and actions that you put towards one another.

[missmeganlee]

YR Characters Enneagram Types: Simon

Type 2: The Giver

If you don't know what Enneagram is here's an article that explains it better than I could, but it's basically another personality test. Everything I mention will be based off of that same website.

Key personality traits of type 2:

warm smile and eyes

approachable, radiates kindness

vocal volunteer or activist

excellent team player

caring and gentle

nurturing and patient

smooth, flowing movements

Type 2 In Depth:

Givers are highly empathetic and caring individuals who put others' needs above their own. They have intuitive abilities to anticipate the emotional gaps of others and support them.

They find great joy in being available and are seen as a source of encouragement or a shoulder to cry on. Through thick and thin, they’re the ride-or-die companion and friend.

Givers are motivated by their desire to gain approval from other people, often through indirect methods. Twos have an unconscious ulterior motive in their acts of kindness, and often assume others are the same.

I think we can all agree that Simon's love language is words of affirmation

An unhealthy Two may look like a person who is selfless in a superficial way. Or someone who supports and gives to others at the expense of harming themselves or another person, such as by enabling an addict.

Holy shit if this isn't Simon's entire relationship with Mickie (and Wilhelm to an extent)

As children, Twos often grow up in environments where they feel like their basic emotional needs are not met. So they learn how to adapt to others’ expectations early on and repress their own desires in an effort to support other people.

Oh my baby Simon growing up with Mickie

Healthy Type Twos are able to serve others while also meeting their own needs. They also know how to love and accept themselves as they are, and rely less on approval from other people.

Core Values of The Giver:

A strong sense of meaning, acknowledgment from loved ones, and emotional intimacy with others are Givers’ grounding principles.

Altruism holds a strong place in their hearts and they readily go out of their way to volunteer their time and energy to bring others up.

Kindness and reciprocity are the guiding values for their decisions. To improve someone else’s life or mood is immeasurably better than helping themselves.

The shared experience of spending quality time with a loved one is among the best feelings in the world to Type Twos.

Type 2s in Relationships:

Enneagram Type Twos truly elevate and focus on romantic relationships - they love to give their huge hearts to someone special. Because of this, finding a partner is so important to them, as is gaining approval. Twos are intuitive and can actively “read” the people around them, aligning with their perceived moods and preferences in order to maximize the possibility of connection. However, sometimes they go to great lengths to give to others through helpfulness in order to get their own needs met.

Twos bring positive and often bubbly energy to important situations, such as when a partner is grieving a personal loss with work or extended family, and will work hard to please their partner. However, sometimes the partner doesn’t want or require the help of the Two, so they find themselves unappreciated, unnoticed, or unwanted.

Emotionally, Twos have trouble moving from this posture, even when their spouse or others have tried to set a loving boundary. This is often because they fear rejection and may have faced abandonment issues growing up.

In addition, Twos frequently repress their own anger, sadness, anxiety or hurt feelings to please others. However, when their feelings are hidden, they come out in ways that can feel manipulative, prideful and controlling to those around them, even if on the surface the Two maintains a happy facade. This overcompensating behavior can mask depression and create marriage struggles. This happens when, instead of balance and self care, a Two turns toward hedonism or self-inflation to get their needs met or puts on a false generosity.

[buglife]

Bend and Not Break - Ch 5: Epilogue - Hands Down

Read here on AO3 :3

As much as Quirrel enjoyed having a ‘break’, it was starting to get on his nerves.

Ever since he woke up from his pseudo coma two weeks ago, he had been doing nothing but lie in bed and get doted on every single second of the day. He understood why, he had inadvertently scared his family and friends after the assassination attempt and they were still worried. It was a close call, and Ghost especially was more protective than usual because of it. Even when the Knights cleared the doctors on duty, they had been reluctant to let any of them near him. He had to reassure his love that doctors tend to know what they are doing and to let them do their jobs. After getting actual doctors involved, he started to feel better. They at least weren’t like his mother, having bugs spy on him to make sure he stayed in bed. She was serious about her threat and he didn't dare test her.

He was also rather surprised to get an entire sack of mail just for him. All of them were well wishes from various citizens, happy to learn that he’ll be okay. He quickly realized that it would be impossible to personally reply to them all, so he got some retainers to write some thank you notes in return. His mother raised him to be polite, after all, and he was touched by the letter. He resolved to keep them as soon as he could figure out where to put them all.

He felt awful. For a while it hurt to breathe and move. Apparently, the poison affected his nerves and the constant spasms had caused some damage. The high fever did not help much either, and it took several days before he could function without pain medication. He had decided after everything was said and done, to never see soup again as long as he lived. He had consumed enough soup to last an entire lifetime, and if Ghost brought him one more bowl of soup he would throw said bowl out the nearest window. Ghost promised not bring any more soup...only to bring him a bisque for dinner that night.

Sometimes he thought that his mother has had an adverse affect on his spouse.

Thankfully, there wasn’t going to be any permanent damage from the poisoning. He would still be tired and weak for a while as his body worked to repair itself, but he wasn’t in danger anymore. The bed rest however, he wasn’t too fond of, not when there was so much to do still. Sure...he slept a lot...but it was the principle of the matter. He was perfectly able to sit up in bed and catch up on paperwork, but he wasn’t even allowed to do that.

How miserable it is, to be on a mandatory vacation, especially for a bug that was used to just...getting up and doing things.

The only good thing about it was that Ghost would carry him to their personal hot spring in the bathroom and they could spend some time together. Being so busy, they often only saw each other briefly through the day and only had an hour or so before bed before exhaustion claimed them both. It was nice to be able to just relax together, listening to random gossip and updating the various running betting pools. So far, Quirrel had 100 Geo riding on Lurien showing up to court high next time they arranged a meeting together. Ghost bet that he wouldn’t, but Quirrel knows Lurien and Lurien deals with social anxiety by removing social anxiety entirely. It was good to laugh again after such a tense week. Eventually, Ghost started taking up duties again while Quirrel’s health continued to improve.

There came the matter of the prisoners left alive, but Quirrel needed to talk to someone first before he made a decision.

Once he was cleared to walk around again, he and his spouse headed to one of the royal suites. Once doctors were cleared, Poppy the scorpion had been moved from protective custody in the dungeon up to a much nicer room to recover in. From what Quirrel understood from both Xena’s reports and Ghost’s commentary, Poppy was an innocent victim in all this. Venomous bugs tended to get quite a bit of discrimination despite how hard they worked to turn public opinion around. Times were changing for sure, one of the archive researchers, a bee-fly, had recently became engaged to her tarantula girlfriend. It was slow going, however, and he wanted to be sure that Poppy would be alright in the end.

He paused outside her door and knocked. “Remember dear, to be gentle with her. It’s probably going to be intimidating to meet with both rulers at once.”

Ghost nodded. “I’ll behave.”

“You better.” Quirrel smirked.

“Hello! Come in!” Came a the voice on the other side of the door. Ghost took the knob, turning it and opening the door for the both to step inside.

The scorpion was sitting in bed, looking much better than what Xena had first described. The softer parts of her chitin was returning to a healthy golden brown and much of her bandages have been removed. Her damaged eye had started to heal, and besides the odd crack or two in her shell, there wasn’t much visible indication of her harrowing ordeal. From was understood, she still needed plenty of rest and food, but she was well enough to finally go home with an escort from Deepnest.

She was clearly only expecting a doctor or someone else other than a royal, because as soon as she spotted the two kings her eyes widened and she started twitching.

“Oh! Oh I am so sorry!” She clasped her many hands together, eyes darting about as she wondered if she should bow or curtsy or anything else other than just sitting in bed. Quirrel held up a hand before she could work herself into a panic attack.

“It’s alright. We’re just here to check up on you.”

She tilted her head. “Really? Um…” She nervously fiddled her pincers together. “I’m... I’m sorry that this all happened. I never wanted to hurt any bugs, I swear!”

“You aren’t in trouble. We know this wasn’t your fault. You seem like a sweet bug, I’m sorry you had to go through all this.” Quirrel said kindly, taking a seat next to one side of the bed. Ghost took the other side and chirped in encouragement.

“We just want to make sure you will be okay, before my sister comes to help you back home.” Ghost signed each word slowly to make sure Poppy could see it with her bad eye. They patted one of her hands, attempting to show a bit of comfort without completely freaking her out.

“Thank you.” She sounded relieved, most likely she thought she was about to get thrown in the dungeon for her unwilling part in this. “It was really nice of you to give me this room until I felt better.”

“To be honest, you deserved at least something nice after all of that. We aren’t even your rulers and yet you refused to work willingly with the conspirators.”

“You weren’t even a warrior, you are a flower bug. It takes immense courage to stand up for what is right even in the face of pain and fear.”

The scorpion blushed blue from the praise, looking like she wanted to duck under the covers and hide, but didn’t out of social politeness. “Um...thanks...your majesties.” She squeaked, deciding instead to hide her face in her pincers for a moment. She was clearly not used to such comments.

Quirrel sighed, thinking of the best way to word the question he wanted to ask. “I apologize for having to bring up what you went through...but there is something we’d like to know, if you would be so kind to answer. We still have some of the conspirators in the dungeon, including the ring leader. If you had a choice, what would you do with them?”

“You mean...like...keeping them in jail or executing them?” She twiddled her claws in thought.

Ghost nodded. “Yes. Technically it would be up to us because of the treason and attempted regicide. But you were also hurt and you are not one of our citizens, and Deepnest deserves an opinion too. We would just like to know your thoughts.”

“Well...um...I don’t...I don’t want more bugs to die.” She shrank a little into herself as she collected her thoughts. “I mean, my momma always said that you can’t um…learn a lesson if you’re dead, ya know? Maybe they could still learn to be good bugs if someone taught them how, if that’s okay…”

Quirrel smiled. “Those are certainly wise words. We’ll take that into consideration when we make a final decision together.”

“We’ll leave you be for now, your escort will be here to collect you once we are done with our meeting. Is there anything else you need before then?” Ghost tilted their head in a smile, echoing their husband.

“No, you all have been so nice! Thank you so much!” She beamed. “I can’t wait to go home and check on my flowers!”

“Good, who knows, we might drop In to say hello sometime.” Quirrel laughed, leaning in closer to mock whisper. “Don’t tell anyone this, but Ghost’s sibling, Hollow, loves flowers. Their room is practically a jungle.”

“Hollow the Kind? Oh! Oh yes we get some really rare and pretty flowers! I’ll save a few for when you drop by!” Clearly this was the route to go, because now Poppy was vibrating in excitement. Her eyes sparkled, now more busy thinking about flowers than being nervous. “If their room is as big as this one, they might like some Strongylodon macrobotrys! Cypripedioideae might also be nice, there’s enough humidity for those!” She started muttering under her breath, scientific names and common names blending together as she thought aloud.

“Don’t worry, once you are situated and back in business, we’ll come take a look.” Quirrel put a stop to her rambling for now. “I’m afraid we must leave for now, but do send a letter to the palace once you are open again.”

“Thanks! I will!” She was practically shining in joy. Both Ghost and Quirrel gave her a polite little bow, and then left her on her own. She was alone within moments, with nothing to do now but to wait for her escort to take her home again.

She started to vibrate again. Inspiration was coming to her, and she cannot be stopped!

She wondered if she could get a hold of a Amorphophallus titanum, something told her that it was a flower that the royal family would get a kick out of for sure.

---

Hornet sat, awaiting her siblings and adopted brother within the meeting room. Two weavers sat with her, one on either side. She wished she could be here for a friendly visit, she honestly did miss her siblings. Alas, the work of a princess is never finished, and she did not envy her mother, the queen, in any way shape or form. Sure her mother commanded respect and power, but the sheer amount of shit she had to put up with in a day makes Hornet grateful that it’ll be a long time before she has to pick up the crown. She thankfully just had this one matter to finish and then she could go home and hide away from other bugs for a while.

Unfortunately, she was stuck with Tiso, who kept making faces at her when he thought she wasn’t looking.

“Tiso, if you keep doing that, I will pull that tongue right out of your mouth.” She hissed, but her words weren’t completely full of malice. She fingered the needle in her hands, the urge to stab rising.

“Sorry, I’m already in a committed relationship.” He replied, grinning widely. “I don’t think my girls would like that.”

“I would stab you in the head, but I think I would miss your brain from how small it is.”

“Why do you have to be so mean, Hornet.” Tiso fake pouted. “I happen to have a nice brain...I think.”

“Because someone in this family has to be the mean one, and I take on that position with pride.” She bared her own fangs at the ant. She had more fangs than a spider ought to have for sure. Tiso however, had no fucks to give and thus wasn't intimidated at all.

Before Tiso could antagonize her further, the door to the room opened and in strolled the two rulers of Hallownest. Ghost made a beeline to Hornet, swiftly grabbing her up in a hug and purring loudly. “Sister!”

The weavers sighed, now used to all this. At first they freaked the fuck out when the eldritch god of a king picking up their crown princess and hugged her. Even more when they first heard the weird voice in their heads that belonged to said king. Now, it was routine.

“Hello, Ghost.” Hornet wheezed, getting thoroughly smooshed. With practiced ease, she wiggled herself out of their grip and dropped gracefully to the floor. She turned to regard the pillbug approaching her. “Hello Quirrel, I’m glad to see that you aren’t dead. I would have been quite disappointing in you if you died without my sibling’s express permission.”

He laughed and gave her a quick hug. “As if a little poison alone would kill me.”

“You’re a tougher bug than what I gave credit for.” She stepped back once the pleasantries were out of the way. “It boons well not only for my sibling, but for relations between our kingdoms.”

“You just say that because your mother loves watching you kick my ass up and down the village.” Quirrel sighed and took a seat at the table.

“She does enjoy seeing Deepnest having an equal and honorable relationship with the current diarchy.” She smoothly said, all but confirming Quirrel’s statement as she sat down as well. “It’s much easier to come to a mutual understanding when one honors the traditions and customs of the kingdom they are visiting. Only a bug willing to back up their words through conviction is worthy of mother’s time of day.”

“Yeah, but Herrah also gives us cookies after you beat us up. I didn’t know that was part of Deepnest’s honorable traditions.” Ghost added, sitting next to Quirrel and giving him a quick nuzzle.

“Of course it is!” Hornet snorted, tilting her head to the side and adding some amusement to her voice. “Only the worthy get cookies.”

“Am I worthy enough to get a cookie?” Tiso piped up.

“No.” She hissed.

“Mean.” He retorted, going back to guarding the door with a sigh.

“I believe we should get down to the nature of this meeting,” Quirrel finally cut in, arranging the quill and papers on the table. “Not only are you here to retrieve your citizen, but also to represent your mother in the discussions about the prisoners responsible for her harm.”

“Yes.” She cleared her throat, going into princess mode. “Under current Deepnest law, via our new treaty, citizens from Hallownest that commit crimes in Deepnest are to be extradited to Deepnest for punishment, and vise versa.”

“Well that makes things easier for sure.” Quirrel scribbled on a spare piece of paper. “We have prisoners directly responsible for the abduction and torture of your citizen. I believe Herrah already came to a decision on what is to become of them?”

“Yes. Ghost sent the letter a week ago, it gave mother plenty of time to think.” Hornet reached into her cloak, pulling out a letter written on spider silk. She slid it across the table for both Ghost and Quirrel. “She formally requests that the prisoners be transported to our dungeon, where they will be judged and tried by our people.”

“It will be done.” Ghost looked to Tiso and nodded. “Can you run that order down to the dungeons?”

“Sure, Squib.” Tiso saluted, and then was gone.

Hornet looked at Ghost with a frown after the ant departed. “You shouldn’t let him keep calling you ‘squib’ and the like, you are his king and he should respect you enough to use your title, even if you adopted him.”

“Can’t.” They just shrugged in response. “Big brother rights. It’s law.”

“I’m afraid that it’s true.” Quirrel nodded solemnly. “Especially since you let Hollow call you...what was it now? Their ‘Special Spooder Sister?' I’m guessing we should tell them to add a ‘Princess’ to that as well.”

“It’s okay love, clearly she wants to be referred to her proper title, Princess Angey Spooder. I apologize for not using it earlier, dear sister.”

“Next time we have an event, we will alert the guards to announce you with your proper title, Princess Precious Paws. Please excuse our ignorance.”

“OKAY, I GET IT.” She threw up her hands in frustration. “I’ll shut up about the nicknames!”

Both diarchs struggled to contain their laughter and were quickly losing. Quirrel was the first to crack, and quickly dragged Ghost down with him as they laughed.

The weaver guards looked at Hornet, who only returned a sigh and a head shake. “Yes yes, I exist to provide amusement to the both of you. Are we done here?”

Ghost snorted and wiped their eyes, reining in the lingering giggles. “Yeah, just be sure you are here next weekend for Sibling Day.”

“As if I would miss Hollow’s cooking.” She replied with a curt nod of her head. “Now, I will collect my wayward citizen and return to Deepnest. On behalf of Queen Herrah, Deepnest thanks you for your cooperation and care in regards of one of our own.”

“Hallownest is more than happy to work with Deepnest on whatever they need.” Ghost sat up straight and bowed their head, acting the part of a reining diarch. They tilted their head back up slightly, a hint of mayhem within as they looked directly at Hornet. “I will be sure to write a letter to Herrah, thanking her for allowing her most esteemed and beloved daughter to visit us, her Highness Princess Stabby Spider.”

It took all of Hornet’s grace and self control to NOT start a diplomatic incident. But boy...did she want to.

---

Quirrel looked over the crowd, spouse standing beside him as he once again found himself on a podium. Bugs were crowded in the streets and hanging off the buildings, all looking at him as he spoke. It was the same speech he had written what seemed like ages ago, but it seems like this time he’d be allowed to finish it. Any ounce of nervousness was squashed by a cool hand in his, squeezing once in a while to remind him that his spouse was there. It was very welcome, as he felt the constant urge to look to the rooftops of the buildings around them, ready to dodge in case another crossbow bolt came his way.

There were certainly more guards than usual, but it was understandable. He highly doubted another assassination attempt would be possible with how many guards were out and about. Most of the citizens didn’t seem to mind, watching and listening with smiles as he continued to prattle on. He didn’t feel like standing here all day, he had plans.

“And so we formally declare that the Hallownest Memorial Greenhouse is now open to the public! Feel free to inside and have a look! Thank you all for coming today, and we hope you all enjoy it!”

Finally, it was done. Ghost leaned against him as they watched the citizens filter into the multi-story greenhouse. They seemed to be having a good time, and they obviously didn’t need the two rulers to keep hanging around if not needed anymore.

“You know what,” Came the whisper of Ghost’s voice in Quirrel’s head. “Since we are done here...why don’t we do something?”

“Like what, dear?” Quirrel stretched, working out the kinks from standing up for so long.

“We could do something...spicy.” There was a devilish edge to their tone, a hand reaching around to squeeze his side. “We don’t have anything we have to do, we got plenty of time to...experiment a little.”

The pillbug couldn’t help but shiver a little, flashing a grin. “Oh ho...feeling adventurous today, are we?”

“I am.” Ghost reached down to scoop up their husband, not caring on who was watching the amount of tooth-rotting romance going down. “Let’s not waste any time, I’ve been wanting to do this with you for ages.”

Quirrel grinned, this was going to be fun.

---

“Ghost! Don’t rub your eyes after handling the peppers!”

A sharp echoing noise of pain leaked through the closed door and drifted into the hallways, stopping a pair of retainers in their tracks. They stood still for a moment, listening, unsure if they were going to be needed. They could hear one of their kings talking and the other apparently flailing around and knocking things over.

“Why the hell did you buy Dragon’s Breath peppers then? They are supposed to burn!”

A few dishes shattered and there came a slosh of water.

“Love! Stop! I’ll rinse out your- WAIT, BE CAREFUL WITH THE STOVE-”

A bright flash of yellow illuminated the bottom crack of the door and smoke began to drift from under it. There came quite a bit of commotion at that, and they could hear the occupants inside run about and knocking even more things over.

One retainer looked to the other. “What the hell is going on?”

“They are trying to cook.” Replied the other. “I don’t think it’s going well.”

“What gave you that idea?” The first sarcastically snarked, watching the smoke get a little thicker.

The second sighed. “Wait here, I’ll go get the fire extinguishers.”

[The End]

-------

The end :D Thanks for being patient, my now fiancé was visiting and I didn't get much time to write! Now I'm back on track.

Chapter title comes from this song which is so romantic and sweet and it makes me think of two people genuinely in love and all the silliness it entails. These two especially, being NERDS.

What happened to the ones involved with the assassination plot that didn't get sent to Deepnest? They are down in the waterways, hand scrubbing that all clean. No mops, just good ol' buckets and sponges. Poppy did say that just killing someone means that they will never learn the lesson they needed, so both Ghost and Quirrel took that into consideration and put their asses to work to better the kingdom. Maybe after a few decades the lesson will be fully learned >)

ALSO if you are cooking with hot peppers, be sure not to touch your eyes, mouth, or nose, or it will BURN.

[talisidekick]

To frame this better: I got asked rather rudely "if you had to choose to save one, who would you choose; your girlfriend or your spouse?" What I heard was "if you were forced to be monogamous, who would you keep?".

Imagine how fucked up it would be to ask a gay man who he'd choose to marry if he was forced to be straight. Or a lesbian. Or someone who's bisexual with a same sex partner. Or asking a transgender person, like me, what I'd do if I was forced to be cisgender.

How bigoted is that question now that you have perspective?

My answer is "fuck you". If I was forced to be straight, forced to be cisgender, forced to be monogamous? I have been forced. I stared over a running hot bath with a knife in my hands and contemplated my options. I chose "ride or die". I chose to say "you better kill me because the answer to: 'If you're forced to be something you're not?' is 'I hope the person, spirit, fey creature, god, goddess, or otherwise eldritch or devine being has made peace with dying like I have, because my answer is 'No.'." and I stand by that to this day. It's engraved in my mind.

So I don't care that you dated someone who didn't tell you they were poly and involved with someone else and didn't make sure you were okay with that. They cheated you. They suck. Why is that experience being painted on me? Why are we all being treated like we're all the same as the worst example you could find? I didn't do that. I don't cheat people. What you're doing is the same thing bigots do with gay, lesbian, bi, or trans people; find one example of a terrible and aweful person and act like everyone who has a similar sexual and/or gender identity is just like them. It's harmful stereotyping.

You're allowed a preference. Just stop acting like all poly people are just worse people than you or just like the person who hurt you. We're not manipulative and abusive monsters. We're people who live and love different.

One day you guys are going to have to realize that the ick you feel about polyamorous people is just bigotry. Its the same ick homophobes get when looking at gay people. It's just a snap judgment revulsion to people who are different from you. No it does not matter if you've had bad experiences with unicorn hunters or shitty swingers. The fact that you judge an entire type of relationship for the bad experiences you've had with individuals is a part of the problem here

[onlyhereforangst]

WWR

i mean i only had three weeks to get it done so naturally i’m finishing it three days before the next ep airs, would you expect anything less?

Ok we start off hot with a subtly jealous Nick scene and I love it. Ellie is like stunned that such a thing even exists “a covid crush” because lets be honest, she probably has no eyes for anyone else at this point - even if it’s been a YEAR (well 10ish months) a whole ass YEAR since the jail cell scene and can I just tell you I am mad about that. Why they do us dirty and skip a whole dang year?? Why can’t we quick flash forward every couple of months?? I mean I know it has felt like an entire year has gone by in a week, RIP 2020 no one will miss you, but like I wanted to see it 😩 and I better get at least some kind of explanation for whatever the F has gone down between these two from “well what are we gonna to about that as we stand 5 inches apart” to now. I demand this explanation. 

Anyways, back on track here - Nick is jealllllllous BUT different kind of jealous for this man because for once he’s not all dark and broody about it. He’s over here willingly, *willingly* bringing up said jealousy aaaand he’s smiling about it (!!!) because despite them still not being together (where’s the Gibbs’ headslap when you actually need it amiright) he’s not worried about this crush. He knows her feelings and his so it’s like yeah I’m a little jealous but also I’m gooood, I got this one in the bag 😏 (also can I just say I need Ellie to show him he does not in fact ‘have this in the bag’ if he’s gonna act like a little shit and push her away). 

This whole thing about babysitting and not wanting to take care of other living beings is very very very interesting considering they both loved taking care of Charlie (Cody, I blame this on pregnancy brain thank you @thekeyboardninja) in the end AND EVEN TALKED ABOUT PARENTING EVENTUALLY. So like, where did we backtrack??? Excuse me who allowed you to do such things. I’m feeling like they likely backtracked (this was s16 after all) because once again, the dust settled after their super close vulnerable moment and they went and hid behind those stupid walls they both have and somehow convinced themselves that being alone was better for them. IT’S A LIE YALL IT’S A LIE. You being together and taking care of each other is exactly what you need and it’ll be perfect and amazing and just DO IT ALREADY 😭

The team moment with Jimmy is so 🥺 and throughout the episode. I’m not going to touch on that stuff much because this is ellick focused but also because I truly do not need to sob again (even if I called Breena dying from covid like months ago and knew exactly what was coming with all of it but you know, I still cry, it’s fine, I’m fine). 

Ellie knowing Gibbs uses a weighted blanket and Nick doubting her is just comical to me 😂 mini side note before we get into how they have a thiiiiiing and it’s called always getting dibs on the elevator in tandem for months and McGee HOW CAN YOU NOT TELL. These two are so in sync even if they are still spectacularly failing at talking this out & taking that next step. Also months of Gibbs riding down the elevator with just those two…….the third wheeling must be slowly killing the old dude, give him a break you two. 

Tell me why these two have the exact same stance in the bullpen- could you be more obvious?? You rubbing off on each other. And then the walking up to the barbershop scene I caaaan’t. Ellie is SO flirty. Like so flirty. Who is this new Ellie and why do I love her so much. But Nick gives it right back too and her little giggle with shoulder shrug is just perfect. She’s fiiiiinally letting herself *feel* more and let it be out in the open and it’s just so great. I love seeing this character development for her 🥺 walls coming down, being more forward with her flirting and feelings and it’s all I’ve ever needed. Also we’re gonna take a small detour into Nick’s pants I mean the notebook he casually stashes in the front of his jeans like it doesn’t make a person look RIGHT. THERE. Don’t ask me why it’s hot, I don’t know the answers to the universe, it just is. We knoooooow Ellie is loving it’s location there, she wouldn’t mind flirtatiously taking it out at the next stop to “check” where they needed to go. You know, just helping a partner out- don’t worry Nick she’s got it handled 😏😏🔥🔥 Ok back from our detour, when Nick asks if she’s got him and she answers so quickly and almost with the undercurrent of “of course I do how is that even a question I’ll protect you until the day I die” (yes this is what she says), I love. 

Ok since when does Nick like puzzles and how does Ellie know this??? He was most certainly NOT a puzzle kind of guy when he first joined the team so are you telling me that maybe Ellie and her nerdiness (come on there’s no way she doesn’t love puzzles) got Nick into puzzles??? Also also also does everyone remember that time in covid lockdown where literally everyone and their mother did five thousand puzzles because we couldn’t leave our houses? Soooooo is this a nod to Ellie & Nick spending some time together doing puzzles (at presumably Ellie’s apartment because she’d be the one to have said puzzles) and turns out Nick loves them even more than she did???? Is this what you’re making me read in between the lines NCIS? Because I am most certainly ok with this. 

Ooooooooh-kay this 8pm thing for Nick. SO many possibilities. It’s been confirmed it wasn’t Ellie (which I won’t lie was my immediate wish) via Steven Binder on twitter (which I also won’t lie, my angst heart loves it’s something else). My take is it’s something (not another girl though) personal- I would *love* if it was therapy or some type of personal development thing. I think he realizes over the past year he has involuntarily retreated emotionally from Ellie even if outwardly it doesn’t show (no personal space and continued flirting). I think he *knows* he’s doing it emotionally and yet can’t figure out how to stop himself from doing it- like on the outside of his body watching him make a dumb mistake but unable to change a damn thing. SO I feel like whatever this 8pm thing is will play into that. It’ll somehow be related to Nick diving deeper into himself and trying to get more in touch with the parts of himself he loves to ignore/hide/push down. That could be therapy, a self-help class, getting in touch with family (but I don’t think he would feel the need to get secretive about this. i mean he already brought up Lucia to this dude, why would he all of a sudden be ashamed of a dinner/meeting with his mom or dad or something? i just don’t buy that). But anyways back to the point- it’s something Nick feels the need to hide in shame because that’s how he’s been conditioned as an undercover agent who feels the need to be tough and strong for everyone and being vulnerable is WAY too scary (helloooooo enneagram 8 nice to meet you I’m also an enneagram 8 Nick isn’t it fun). 

I don’t know why them talking so casually on the phone, while Nick is getting ready for the day no less is so damn pleasing to me. The simple domesticity of it all because it’s totally something one would do with their spouse is just 🥰🥰 And then their little freaking smiles can THEY NOT. Ellie you like glazed donuts?? Is this some kind of hint? Innuendo? Just a glaringly obvious chance to flirt and you don’t give a rat’s ass you’re in the middle of the bullpen with Gibbs’ listening to your conversation so you’ll take that chance anyways because you’re head over heels for this guy? Either way Nick’s little smirk oof. I think he takes it as all three of those things and he’s *perfectly* ok with it. UNTIL until, there’s always an until with you Nicholas god damn. Ellie nervously asking about NIck’s apartment 🥺 she may be head over heels but she’s still a little shy and unsure. She thought that jail cell moment would break things through for them and yet she’s- not to quote Taylor swift or anything because why on earth would I do that- right where you left her. WHY NICHOLAS WHY. Since we know Ellie has seen and is very familiar with the inner workings of Nick’s apartment come 16x10, I presume he moved, and it sounds like recently. From the looks of this new place it’s niiiiice. For someone who doesn’t like a lot of things (see s14 when he joins team I don’t remember the exact ep sorry) - he sure managed to settle into that apartment quite nicely. It’s furnished well, it’s homey for DC. And if he’s moved into it since after the jail cell, letting Ellie in is likely a big step in his eyes. But we know this has got to be a weird shift for Ellie. Seemingly so comfortable in each others’ spaces and now she hasn’t even been invited over?? Yeah you smell something fishy girl just like I do. Even if Nick has a cute ass smirk at the end of his little charade to hang up the phone. Wipe that smirk off your face sir you owe us I mean Ellie an explanation and a visit to your apartment. SHE WANTS TO BE YOUR HOUSEGUEST. SHE WANTS TO BE IN YOUR HOUSE. SHE WANTS TO BE IN YOUR PANTS WHILE IN THAT HOUSE. JUST LET HER ALREADY. Ok I’m done, moving on. 

Ok the guys opening the doors dramatically to let the one (1) woman on the team make a super badASS entrance is just 🔥🔥🔥 yes love it. 

Excuse me why does Ellie feel the need to completely turn her body from the rest of the team/bullpen to be 100% faced on Nick. Body language don’t lie bitch I see you. And Nick stealing a glance at Ellie before having to answer McGee’s question about roommates…..interesting, very interesting sir. You thinking about how she’s going to react to some rando being in your apartment AND staying the night before she has?? You thinking about making her a permanent roommate?? But of course he turns to quick humor for a hot sec because this is Nick and then shockingly, like actually shockingly (is this that personal development, soul-searching, deep dive into emotional wonderland rubbing off on him??? Is it working is this foreshadowing???) he goes and gets deep on ‘em. And McGee calls him on it and I love it, I really think this is some foreshadowing here. I think we’re seeing some of the work Nick is doing on himself, getting himself ready for as serious as a relationship as he knows it’ll be with Ellie, paying off. He’s thinking about ~*emotional*~ consequences to actions and OOF yes. The growth, I live for the fucking growth. “It’s not easy to get through the tough transitions on your own” you say as you literally tried to do that for actual YEARS until you met this team. Until you met Ellie. Until you realized that emotional fallout was a real thing and you my friend are a terrible victim to it. Because guess what- exhibit A is right here about to ask you to dinner and you gonna turn her down. You quite literally tried to get through a tough transition (re: Ellie’s kidnapping & the two bombs) by yourself. That dust settled and you immediately emotionally retreated, not physically- emotionally. You went back to what you always knew, the lone wolf on your own, endure the tough transition. And yes you’ve been doing some work on yourself, but now- now you realize it. You can’t do work on yourself alone. You can’t go through this shit alone. You need your support system- your person. But that thought truly terrifies you. You’ve realized it but are you ready to act on it? Not quite yet. You might be close, but you still can’t bring yourself to be honest with her yet. When Ellie nervously asks Nick if he wants to grab a bite you can feel her start to (it’s probably been there quite a while but she’s tried to ignore the feeling of him emotionally shutting her out and pushing her away but the houseguest thing brought it back full force) really worry about where they stood. She won’t completely admit it to herself because she knows what was said in the jail cell wasn’t a lie or a dramatization for either of them, but that worry that’s been creeping in like a vine is taking hold. Nick saying “there’s something I need to take care of” hmmmmm I feel like this is SO vague. And probably purposely done so by the writers but I just - if it was solely him bringing the dude back to his daughter’s why wouldn’t he just tell Ellie that? What would be the harm in her knowing this? She’s aware you’ve bonded so why would he not just say that? I feel like there was definitely something else he thought he would go do after it. With all the talk of tough transitions and then his obviously pre-made plans to drop this guy off, I just feel like there was some other task he had planned before McGee called him. And him discussing the reset button (I’ll get to this) just kind of solidifies that for me. He’d been doing a LOT of reflection that day and he had something more major planned, I just wish I knew what 😩 Ok back to Ellie’s response, she’s honestly shocked and a little confused at his ominously vague answer. And I’d wager a tiny bit of hurt is in that expression too. All those vines of worry taking hold? Yeah, that’s why. They even just tightened and made her speechless for a second. The emotional withdrawal she feared was being confirmed in front of her very eyes. Because (at least on our screens) the last time Nick turned down a bite to eat with her? Oh yeah, he was dating fucking Elena. (Once again, I don’t think he’s got another girl but y’all this is the parallel Ellie could easily draw seeing as it was only a few months ago, supposedly.) And he even looks almost guilty about turning her down, like he knows it’s probably hurting her (and their relationship) but he can’t help it. He hates that he’s doing it and the words coming from his mouth (good lord it’s like the end of 17x07 with overprotective/you’re like a sister to me all over again) but he can’t stop it. And then my heart breaks for Ellie when she tries to put on a brave, strong face that claims she isn’t bothered by his rejection yet we all knoooooow 😭😭😭 He gives her a small little “night” and she’s just standing there wondering where the hell she went wrong with this, how she read them all wrong. 

Ahhhhh the glorious reset button, ya love to see it. When he claims he has the opposite problem you can see his faraway look in his eye. You know *exactly* what, or better yet who, he’s thinking about in that moment. He knows he has to stop avoiding his emotional growth with Ellie. He knows he has to stop hitting the reset button the second things between them get real. And I think he’s known this for a while now but is finally, finally coming to grips with taking real steps forward. Taking steps to embrace the vulnerability he’s terrified of. Finally putting that reset button away 🥺

Ellie knowing Nick has one tie is just another swoon moment. Yes I could get dirty with that (see my tags on previous gifsets for proof) but like, also this is so real of them? They know so damn much about each other it’s insane. She may not have even been in his apartment yet but she knows he owns one tie. Like- come on. Nick you think you’re emotionally distant from this woman but my god it’s the opposite. You two are so intertwined you don’t even realize it as you chuckle and try once again to avoid thinking about that reset button. And then Jimmy goes and reads that letter and I sob. Yes I sobbed. Like I said not getting into this part because my pregnancy hormones can’t handle this (I’m barely rewatching this part with audio ok). But Jimmy’s words voiced over a shot of ellick…take my heart why don’t you. “To hear a laugh, and know that your life would change for ever” like come ON. First, Jimmy you slay me and second, all I can picture is Ellie chuckling with Nick in the bullpen showing him the clicker settings and Nick loving it. Nick your life would be changed forever in that moment I hope you knew. Ellie, pulling her arm around Nick’s for strength, support, I just-. Despite the turmoil she’s been going through, the doubts and the worry that’s crept in- she still feels it. She still feels love for this man and knows her life was changed forever when she met him. No matter how long she tried to deny it, she knows. And that little piece of her that desperately clings to Nick getting his head out of his ass and opening up emotionally to her, that piece decides to break that sliver of personal space and lean on him for support. She needs to touch him- the man who she can’t picture losing like Jimmy lost Breena. She needs to feel him still there, even if he hasn’t completely realized his life changed forever because of her- she has. Gripping his arm for the comfort it gives in knowing he’s still by her side, his hand brushing hers as an involuntary “I’ve got you” (even a reset button pusher like Nick can’t help his reflexes). The gravity of the fragility of life weighing heavily on them both, they hold each other. They’ve got each other. And good god is that poetry we just need them to actually fucking TALK ABOUT IT 😩😭

I don’t know if I even have side notes but I do appreciate NCIS paying homage to the utter grief this pandemic has been. Jimmy being the one to lose a loved one was quite honestly the perfect scenario to me. It shows just how cruel this pandemic has been, ripping even the most optimistic, happy people down to their knees in grief. It’s something that shouldn’t be glossed over and I do hope they continue to have this arc of struggling with grief throughout the season. I think it is so relatable and refreshing to see played out legitimately on the screen. I don’t want happy, go-lucky stale content. I want something real and something tangible. Yes I love my mindless entertainment, but it’s also nice to see *real* drama on a TV drama. At least, that’s my opinion 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’d apologize but isn’t that why you’re reading this to begin with? 😘😘

[curious-menace]

Arkham Scarecrow SFW Alphabet

im really enjoying writing arkham scarecrow. maybe ill do something similar to my random riddler headcanons posts with some scarecrows

long post under the cut

 A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Uhhh, the short answer is no. Jonathan is almost wholly incapable of what most people would term “affection”. His idea of loving is not using you for his experiments, only giving you small doses to build up your immunity( not that that will stop him from enjoying watching you panic). Jonathan leans heavily on gifts and words of affirmation as his language of love ( assuming he can even feel that emotion). He calls you  “my dear”  and “my darling” or once “my pumpkin” if he had too much to drink. 

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Jonathan would make a good friend if he could ever be wrangled into admitting it. He’s a complete bastard, but he's a loyal bastard. He always goes above and beyond for his friends but it's always in a “aw shit. My favorite idiot needs help AGAIN?!” begrudging , kind of way. You probably met in university/college and if you've stuck with him this long he’d be hard to get rid of.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He never asks for cuddles and is pretty touch adversed as a rule. Sometimes though, He simply plonks himself in your space and expects you to know what he wants. Usually it's gentle backrubs/strokes like you would with a child. Sometimes he just wants your warmth to sooth his aching body. He’s heavier than he was in Arkham asylum but still very underweight so you shouldn't have too much trouble moving him into a comfortable position.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Absolutely not. I'm not convinced this man owns more than his books and the burlap sack on his back ,never mind a home. He has plans to take the cloudburst on tour, to go cross country and then across the world spreading fear. That would be a little difficult if he had gotham mortgage sending him nasty emails every other day about missed payments. While he can cook and clean, I doubt you'd want to eat anything he made. Ignoring his filthy hands, he's probably laced it with fear toxin or a lethal amount of hot sauce.

His homemade cleaning chemicals are pretty stellar mind you. They can get blood, piss or tears out of anything. 

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Scarecrow really is a ride or die kinda guy. If you've wormed your way into his life then he’s going to do literally everything and anything to keep you in it. He’s not above making you dependent on him for safety just to keep you around longer. He’s not a total monster to the people he cares about mind you. If you really didn't want to be with him, he’d let you go….eventually.

I'm not sure he fully understands the concept of a “breakup”on his end. He gets that you don't see eachother anymore but I don't think he quite grasps that it's not because one party is dead. There's a 99% chance he’ll use you for his fear toxin experiments as a way of kicking you to the kerb. If you wake up in a ditch with a text that says “we’re through” you should consider yourself lucky. 

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

I canon arkham scarecrow as having been engaged at one point in his life, possibly around the time of origins. I can imagine his partner gave him a “me or the fear toxin” ultimatum which has led to the man you know now. Despite how he looks, how he speaks and acts, he’s still open to the idea of a partner. He’s a loyal man who can't stand backstabbers, he’d appreciate someone like a spouse/husband/wife to have his back. If he decided he wanted to get married he’d propose almost immediately. It might be more of a business or thesis type proposal with lots of talking rather than flowers and wine and you're likely to be married as soon as you said yes. 

He has a tiny pumpkin ring saved for the occasion. Something like this (image credit https://www.banggood.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He’s gentle, in a creepy way unsurprisingly. He was a little stronger than the average man before the incident with croc, all that cardio and fighting with batman made him a skinny legend amongst the rogues for how well he could fight. Now? He couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag. Mostly he's calm and soft, especially when you wouldn't expect him to be.  He can still be an emotionally manipulative person but chances are good you're smart enough to see right through him. Calling him on his bs is actually a good way to endear yourself to him. He likes a challenge and he loves it when people think they can outsmart him.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Hmm. yes and no. Scarecrow is severely touch adversed, but...It's not like with Riddler; Edward is on the autism spectrum and genuinely gets overstimulated by a lot of physical contact, he doesn't usually enjoy it unless under specific circumstances. Scarecrow WANTS to be hugged and held on occasion, but the mere thought of someone in his personal bubble sends his hackles up. 

When he first woke up after the asylum, he clung to you like a lampent. Scarecrow gives and recieves hugs like someone who needs them to breath.Your warmth soothes the aching pain when even drugs couldn't . By the time of Arkham Knight he’s grown cold and distant. His hugs are few and far between and unusually half hearted even when he initiates them. Maybe he’s just preoccupied with batman.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

I doubt he’d ever say the words ``i love you” but he’s absolutely going to quote love poetry at you, recite lines from his favorite literature  “shall i compare you to a summer's day” and all that. That’s far better than a simple “i love you” right?

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Jonathan is sort of one note when it comes to expressing frustration. Coffee machine not working? Melt it down into fear toxin vials. Line at the grocery store? Gas everyone out of his way. He doesnt get mad, he gets even. He’s not a super jealous person, he’s probably the most secure in himself out of all the rogues in Gotham bar Selina and ivy. But when something does hit his jealousy bone just right? LORD HE IS TERRIBLE. 

Unless you were the instigator, you are 100% safe but the poor soul who made the mistake of flirting with you will never see the light of day again.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He can't really kiss to be honest. He lacks a lot of lip tissue and tongue dexterity for deep smooching. He’s quite happy to give you little pecks on the cheek but anywhere else will get sloppy and he's not a fan of that. Jonathan has actually started to bump you with his head like a cat in lieu of kisses. Rare as it is, when he wants kisses he has a tendency to nuzzle into the crook of your neck or rest his head on your shoulder. He likes to be kissed on the cheek , forehead and top of his head. Most other places are covered in scars and lack the sensitivity to enjoy it.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He likes to scare kids. It's not as malicious as it is with adults, he just likes to yell boo at them, smiling as they scream and giggle and run away. It's probably the most innocent he’ll act around other people. He still doesnt like them per say but he’ll tolerate them in small doses. 

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Scarecrow , like most rogues, is not a morning person. He doesn't sleep well and he is hella grumpy when he first wakes up. Expect to watch him shuffle around his hideout like a zombie, still wearing a quilt and his dressing gown as he complains about everything from the weather to the loud creaking of the floorboards. You should present him with food and coffee and then retreat to a safe distance until he’s fully awake, otherwise he’s liable to turn on his grumpy old man routine on you. If he's feeling particularly sore or needy, he’ll ask you to help change his bandages and dressings .

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

It really depends on what he feels like in the moment. Sometimes he’ll leave you at home while he goes out to cause general mischief, sometimes he’ll bring you along as a look out. Sometimes it's a low-key night at the hideout reading and sometimes it's a caffeine fueled frenzie of experimentation and lab work with you as his trusty lab assistant.  He doesn't sleep well at night, the aches keep him up. If he were ever to actually go to bed he might find that you make a great pillow.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

As much as he resents people having the upperhand with information, it's hard not for people to see his past. His scars are so easily visible, inside and out. He doesn't talk about his past unless prompted. But if you do he’ll quite happily answer all your questions; he’s not afraid of discussing it. 

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Jonathan is a very patient man, not just when it comes to revenge.It takes quite a lot to make him fly off the handle and he cools off again quickly. That's not to say he doesn't hold a grudge like he’s being paid for it, only that it's more of a simmering anger rather than a boiling one.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He remembers most things about you, he has an excellent memory. But that being said he never lets on that he knows these things. He likes to hear you talk about the things that interest you, even if you've told him about it before. Watching you wax lyrical about your chosen subject makes him feel close to you. 

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

I don't know if it's a favorite or even a positive memory but when he first woke up from surgery after croc you were lying beside him. He was understandably confused, maybe even afraid, but seeing you there brought him great comfort. He didn't know what was happening because of all the meds, but as long as you were with him he was confident things would work out for him.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He means well, you should always keep that in mind  before you snap at him. He brought you to the arkham knights HQ to protect you from his plans, he’s given you micro doses of fear toxin to build your resistance and by the time of arkham knight you can hardly move for the amount of guards he has following you around. He’s overbearing bordering on controlling but I think it's because he simply can't admit the thought of losing you scares him, even just a little. You aren't a rogue, you don't know Batman like they do. He just needs to keep you safe from batman, from the police and from the ugly world outside.

Given how weak he’s been viewed practically all his life, I believe he’d resent the accusation he needed protecting. deep in his mind he knows no one man is an island. He appreciates little helps even if he won't say it. He doesn't need protection per say but If nothing else, after being injected with his new toxin, he's going to need someone who’s corpus mentis in his corner for court and medical proceedings.  

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

His idea of a perfect date is you two working on your respective projects in comfortable silence, maybe a trip to the museum if he feels like the exercise. Obviously that suits some people down to the ground, myself included, but he gets that it's not for everyone. He’s probably ok with you planning the activities provided you warn him beforehand. 

Given everything he’s been planning for batman, things like important dates and even everyday tasks have a tendency to get lost in the fray. He's not doing it on purpose, He’s glad to celebrate these things with you if you remind him, He's just got his priorities in a funny order.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He shuffles his feet when he walks and is one of those people who always has conversations in doorways. You can never be sure he isn't aware of these habits and is doing them on purpose. He also used to smoke quite heavily but has since given it up due to his throat and lung issues.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

It's sort of a mixed bag with him. On the one hand he knows he’s ugly, that's the point. You're MEANT to be scared looking at him, he’s leaning into it. But on the other hand his “look” is a carefully maintained visage; if it slips it might lose the intended effect. He might not be as scary to look at or worse, people might look at him in pity. It's not ordinary vanity or narcissism but yes, he is concerned with maintaining the way he looks 

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

The concept of feeling whole is somewhat lost on him; He’s clearly missing a few screws even in his most lucid moments. That said even in the depths of madness brought on by his toxin, he still notices your absence. Still incredibly distressed In his cell in blackgate, he can often be heard crying out to you for comfort  but is lacking the wherewithal to understand why you're not there. 

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Given that he has pretty extensive facial injuries, eating is pretty difficult for him. He used to really enjoy bagels and cubanos from gothams many deli’s. His favorite was a kosher deli in The Cauldron, before Joker ruined it. They’ve since rebuilt and while he can't eat many solids anymore , he still enjoys their matzo soup and smoothies. 

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Like most of the rogues, he absolutely can't stand bullies.He also can't stand physically aggressive people; if you're going to even TRY and intimidate him maybe you could use your words like someone with more than 2 brain cells to rub together, rare as that is in gotham. Back when he was a psychiatrist he hated people who were chronically late. Not his patients, most of the time it wasn't their fault  due to executive dysfunction or traffic, but people who kept HIM back and made HIM late were the bane of his existence. 

Z = Zzz (What are their sleep habits?)

Crane is a back sleeper who snores because of his damaged septum.He knows he makes a noise akin to a flip flop in a lawn mower but there is literally nothing he can do about it besides sleep on his stomach. He squirms around a lot in his sleep so even if he starts on his stomach, he’ll be on his back snoring like a dead horse in no time. The only thing that could keep him frontwise is if he were to sleep on you and have you hold him in place. 

[smallheathgangsters]

Promises | J.S.

A/N: Hey loves! I finished up another request, that I hope you all enjoy! You can see it as a little Valentine’s Day present! ❤️ Also, thank you for 100+ followers already! I appreciate your support so much!!

Request: “Could you do 7.     “What the bloody hell were you thinking?!” With John? 😊” by @high-functioning-sociopath8

Pairing: John Shelby x Reader

AU: Martha and Esme both don’t exist

Word Count: 3112

Type: fluff

--------------------------------------------------------------

You and John had been together since before the war and after he came back, psychologically scarred but alive, you two decided it was time to finally get married. There was not a point in life where John hadn’t been with you. Of course, during the war he wasn’t physically there, but you knew you were thinking of each other every day. He was your ride or die, the person you trusted with your whole life. That also meant that you had been very close to his family from a young age and they treated you as one of their own.

When the Shelby company started growing more and more and becoming very powerful in Birmingham, you started working for them. But while most of the other woman in the company were hired to take care of tasks in the shop itself, Tommy preferred you taking part in responsibilities outside of it. Especially when having a woman with him was beneficial. He knew you were able to handle dangerous situations and that you weren’t afraid of getting your hands dirty. And being a part of the Shelby family for such a long time, he knew he could always confide in you. There would never be a risk of you betraying them, particularly since you were married to his brother, who you loved dearly and would take a bullet for anytime without hesitation.

The only problem with you helping Tommy with the dirty work was that John hated it. He despised his older sibling for risking your safety and your life for the business, knowing very well that you were his purpose in life and that he would never continue working for the company if something ever happened to you. Every time you went on a mission with Tommy, John would be at home, pacing around in the house and not being able to concentrate on anything else than you returning to him in one piece.

Since the death of Grace a few months ago, he had been even more nervous when you were away from him. He would often speak to Tommy about not being happy with the situation, but in the end he knew it had been your own decision to help with business outside of the office and that you would never let yourself be told what to do by anyone, not even your husband. You were a stubborn young woman and even though it made him frustrated at times he couldn’t help but be proud of you, having your own opinions and standing your ground. And Tommy always reminded him of that whenever he would burst into his office after the two of you returned from a risky trip, barely escaping death.

Even though John tried very hard to accept the way things were, he was struggling. And that had been the reason to why you had decided to keep the new task Tommy had given you the other day to yourself.

“As I have already told you before, I have business with the Russians,” Tommy said, walking around his desk and sitting down in his chair. “And they’re hosting a dinner that I want you to accompany me to.”

“How many people will attend this dinner?” you asked, placing your hands on one of the chairs opposite his desk and leaning against it.

Tommy shook his head, indicating that he didn’t know. “Although I’m guessing it’s a larger event. It didn’t sound as if it had much to do with our business.”

“Then why even bother going?” you questioned. Tommy lit himself a cigarette. “Because it’s always a good idea to make a statement by showing your face.”

You smirked. “And I’m the accessory?”

“If you want to call yourself that,” Tommy chuckled. “There’s no need for John to worry about you. All you’ll have to do is eat the food they serve and make small talk with the guests.”

You nodded, pushing yourself away from the chair and standing upright. “Though, I’m still not telling him.”

Tommy raised his eyebrows at you, letting his cigarette hang in between his fingers. The smoke curled itself around them and slowly rose to the ceiling. “How come?”

“I just don’t want to risk a heated discussion and consequently not being able to fully concentrate on my task when I need to,” you answered, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I’m certain that eating and talking doesn’t need that much concentration,” Tommy commented, chuckling quietly, “but do what you think is best. I just don’t want John standing in my office first thing in the morning after the dinner.”

You refrained from laughing and just nodded, smiling at Tommy. “Me neither.”

“Then we understand each other,” he said, taking a last puff from his cigarette and then putting it out. “I’m picking you up at six on Friday, wear something expensive. Or at least expensive-looking.”

 ***

 “Dinner with friends?” John asked, frowning. You could feel him not fully believing your lie.

You grabbed your purse and headed to the door. “Yes, with Julie and Anne.”

“Wearing that?” he interrogated, following you.

You spun around and gave him taunting look. “John, dear, am I not allowed to treat myself once in a while? I hope you don’t forget that I earn my own money and because of that, dinner at a fancy restaurant shouldn’t be off limits.”

He sighed. “I’m sorry, you’re right.”

Then he grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you to his chest. “I love you.”

“I love you too, John,” you said and gave him a long kiss. Just before he became carried away by your affectionate gesture, you pulled away. “Don’t wait for me, I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

“Okay.”

Then he watched you open the door and leave the house. You turned right, walking down the street in your clicking high heels. Then you made another right turn into a darker alley where you spotted Tommy’s car waiting for you.

You opened up the door to the passenger side and hopped in. “Good evening, Tommy.”

“John’s going to be furious if he finds out,” Tommy greeted you. You rolled your eyes and looked over to him. “Shut up.”

After about an hour drive Tommy’s car rolled up in a huge driveway of a beautiful mansion. You could already hear band music playing inside and people laughing and chatting.

“Here we are,” Tommy announced and got out of the car, only to open up the door on your side for you, like the gentleman he was.

The cobble stones on the ground made it hard for you to walk on them in your heels. When Tommy noticed, he offered you to hold on to his arm until you reached the front door. There were two doormen guarding the entrance and when you approached them, they initially moved to block it.  

Tommy stopped in front of them and gave them a surprised look. “Gentlemen, I believe Duke Romanov will not be pleased to hear that you’ve refused entry to Thomas Shelby.”

Straight away, the doormen stepped to the side, mumbling an inaudible apology.

The inside of the mansion was marvellous. You would even dare to say even more gorgeous than Tommy’s home. “When will John and I finally move into a house like this?” you breathed, admiring the paintings on the wall.

“After you’ve helped me deal with this Russian business, maybe, Y/N,” Tommy whispered to you, leading you through the crowd in a winding motion.

Only a few minutes after arriving, Tommy told you he had to go and talk to Duke Romanov and his spouse before dinner was served. So, you decided to roam around the party and maybe even make some acquaintances that could be useful for business in the future. You walked over to the bar and ordered gin. While the bartender prepared your drink, you turned around, leaned against the counter and scanned your eyes over the guests.

“Are you Thomas Shelby’s new girl?”

You whipped your head around to a pretty brunette standing next to you and sipping on a glass of champagne. She had expensive-looking jewellery in her hair and was wearing a long, beige dress with a delicate white pattern on it. The think accent in her English made you assume that she belonged to the Russians.

“Excuse me?”

You gave her a confused look.

She smiled at you in a patronising way. “It’s not that you’re not pretty … not at all … but I do think he got over Grace alarmingly fast.”

Your mouth dropped open, offended by her statement.

“I’m sorry, was that an insult?” she said, a mocking tone in her voice. You tried to not let yourself be flustered by this mysterious woman. “The only person you insulted with your words is Thomas Shelby himself.”

“So, you’re not fucking?” she teased. You snorted, looking away from her, back to the crowd of people in the giant hall. “The only man I’m fucking is his brother, John.”

You heard her giggle. “Oh, you’re a Shelby then?”

“I am. And if you don’t stop talking shit about my family, I’ll cut your throat,” you hissed, grabbing the gin the bartender had placed next to you while the two of you were talking.

“Nobody’s going to cut anyone’s throat,” you heard a deep voice say just after the last syllable had left your lips. Tommy.

You pressed your lips together, annoyed by him interfering in your conversation. Tommy laid a hand on the upper part of your back and made you face the unfamiliar woman. “Duchess Tatiana Petrovna, this is Y/N Shelby.”

“How wonderful to meet you,” she sneered, holding out a hand to you, but you refused to take it. A wry laugh escaped her mouth. “How polite.”

Tommy let go of your back and placed a cigarette between his lips. “Miss Petrovna, I believe we’ll be seeing each other again when the meal is served. In the meantime, please excuse me and my company.”

Tommy gently grabbed you by your arm and pulled you away from the lady, leading you to a hallway next to the hall, where it was a lot less noisy. “Look, Y/N, I know you don’t like me or any of us being worried about you, but you need to be careful around those people.”

“I’ll be fine–“ you tried to say, but Tommy’s sudden outburst interrupted you.

“No!”

You winced, immediately closing your mouth shut. You could see Tommy running his hand over his face, trying to find the correct words to say.

“Sorry– Y/N, I– I’m sorry but– No …”

You wrapped your arms around your body and looked down at the wooden floor, knowing exactly what was going through his head. “Tommy … I know you don’t like talking about it, but I can see that this is about Grace. And I understand. I’ll be careful from now on.”

He sighed, it clearly being very hard for him to think about his deceased wife. “I just don’t want anything happening to you. Or to anyone of my family. I know you can handle yourself, but they are dangerous, trust me.”

You nodded.

“But I need to continue this business,” he explained. “And because of that, I need you to pull yourself together and not start a fight with any of the Russians. You’ll be doing enough fighting with John boy when he finds out where you were tonight.”

His last sentence made you chuckle. “Okay, I promise. I’ll be on my best behaviour.”

Then the two of you joined the party in the hall again and only a few minutes after followed all the other guests into the dining hall to spend a rather uneventful rest of the evening there.

 ***

 Tommy parked his car outside your house. You thought it wouldn’t be a problem, because the lights in your house had all been turned off, indicating that John had already gone to sleep.

“See you tomorrow, Tommy. Sleep well, if you can.”

He gave you a weak, but friendly smile. “You too.”

You slipped out of the passenger side and walked thought the front yard. When you reached the front door, you pushed down the handle and stepped into the pleasant silence of your home. You breathed out contently, kicked off your painful heels and hung up your coat on the hanger.

You decided to make yourself a cup of tea to wind down from the evening before heading to bed and walked through the hallway to the kitchen. You filled up the kettle with water, turned on the stove and placed the kettle on it. A sigh escaped your lips and you turned around to lean against the kitchen counter until the water was boiling. You wanted to close your eyes for a second, but just before letting your eyelids shut, you noticed a dark figure in the living room. You gasped loudly, surprised. “John?”

“You lied to me, Y/N.”

John was sitting in the armchair in the back corner of your living room. His voice didn’t sound angry at all, more disappointed than anything.

You sighed again, this time deeper and longer. So, John hadn’t gone to bed yet. He had been waiting for you to return to be able to confront you with him knowing the truth. Or at least that he knew you hadn’t gone out with your friends.

“I saw Tommy’s car outside,” John said, almost inaudible.

“Look–“

“Why did you feel the need to lie to me?” he asked and sounded actually heartbroken by the fact that you hadn’t told him the truth.

“John …” you said, “I’m sorry …”

Seeing him so sad made your heart ache. And it was true, you really were sorry. You had just very much hoped that you didn’t have to keep on discussing your type of work with your husband. And once again, you found yourself in the same situation.

John pushed himself up from the armchair and shuffled over to you. The closer he got to the kitchen, where a warm light was turned on, the better you could see his face. And his blue eyes that were so much darker than usual. “And where exactly did Tommy take you?”

Even though it sounded as if he was questioning your relationship with Tommy, amongst other things, his question didn’t have anything to do with that.

“A dinner,” you mumbled.

“Where?” he asked expectantly, raising his eyebrows at you. You chewed your lip and looked down at your hands. This whole conversation made you unbelievably uncomfortable. On the one hand, you hated how John wouldn’t stop getting involved in your business. On the other hand, you felt so bad for having the urge to lie to him. You’d been together for forever and there was no reason for you to go behind his back, especially since he’d been there for you almost every day of your life. He’d even saved your life once, when you overestimated yourself and thought you were able to handle the situation on your own. He may have been angry at you in that moment, but you knew it had only been out of love for you.

“The Russians.”

You could hear John hiss. “Fuck!”

“John, please–“ you tried to beg, but he suddenly exploded.

“What the bloody hell were you thinking?!” he yelled, taking a few more steps forward, so that he was now standing only inches away from you. “Y/N, those are fucking dangerous people! I don’t want you involved in Tommy’s shady deals he has going on with them! Not even Arthur and I know what exactly he’s planning!”

He was very angry. But you could sense that it wasn’t anger directed at you. He was angry at Tommy. But in particular at the fact that without knowing the details of Tommy’s plans, he would never be able to help you if something went wrong.

He cupped your cheeks, almost a little aggressively and looked deep into your eyes. “Please, Y/N! Don’t you understand how worried I am for you? I can’t bear the thought of losing you, I’m nothing without you!”

His words made you feel even worse about your actions. You never meant to hurt John. He was such a sweet and caring husband who deserved nothing but your love and affection. John may worry a little too much about you than you liked, but he only ever meant well.

“I’m sorry, John,” you sobbed, having tears piling behind your eyes. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

He caressed your cheek with his thumb, not breaking the deep connection your eyes had. “I know, love. I know. Just please promise me, that you’ll be honest with me from now on. No more lies, no more hiding missions and work from me. Please.”

His pleading was desperate. Before you could answer him, you had to kiss him. His expression made you feel so incredibly guilty, that you just couldn’t hold yourself back. You leaned into him, pulling his face closer to yours and let your lips connect with his. You noticed him melt into your kiss, despite him still waiting for a response.

“I promise, John,” you finally told him and gave him a quick peck as a way of confirming what you just said. “But you need to promise me something as well, in return.”

“And what is that?” he murmured, brushing his lips over your forehead and then pulling you into a warm hug.

“I need you to stop trying to keep me from doing the job I love. I know it’s dangerous, I’m not stupid. But I wouldn’t be happy with anything else and you know it,” you said. John stopped placing sweet little kisses all over your face and went back to looking deeply into your eyes.

“Although, I do think that it’ll be better for me to stay out of the Russian business, at least for now,” you added, giving him a smile. He let himself get affected by your happiness and smiled back. “What made you decide that?”

You shrugged cheekily. “Let’s say, I don’t think I’m going to be best friends with the Russians. At least the Duchess wasn’t too impressed by me.”

He chuckled and gave you another long kiss. “Let me get you to bed, love. I’ll bring you your tea upstairs. It’s getting awfully late and I’m sure Tommy’s expecting you in his office early tomorrow morning.”

You rolled your eyes. “Seven o’clock sharp. Please don’t remind me of it.”

He laughed and then gracefully picked you, carrying you upstairs.

[lady-plantagenet]

What are your thoughts on Jaime x Cersei, Jaime x Brienne, Tyrion x Tysha, George x Isabel, and Henry VIII x Anne Boleyn? (Sorry for the long list!)

Glad to see someone else feeling charitable and letting me vent my unsolicited opinions 😂. Saved the George x Isabel for the last cause I’m sure it will be the longest lmao!

Asked Via: Send me a ship and I'll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it: https://lady-plantagenet.tumblr.com/post/627331607624302592/send-me-a-ship-and-ill-give-you-my-brutally

Jaime x Cersei: Despite it’s fundamental flaws, it is... titillating to read. The idea of people falling in love with their own other-gender counterpart is twisted yet so intriguing. I must confess that I am not as disgusted by incest as most people, so bear that in mind. The thing is, Cersei is definitely a narcissist with a lot of internalised misogyny and this ship just feels so justified to her character.

The issue is, and as the books go on, it becomes quickly clear that Jaime’s love is not as deep and as his appearance changes, and they no longer look identical Cersei’s own mental image, Cersei’s love also wanes and then you’re hit with how shallow it was. So I ship these two... but I also don’t because they’re toxic? Honestly, book-wise I am intrigued to see what will happen, if they end up together... or they don’t... either way I’m sure it will be quite a ride. You see, I’m not emotionally invested.

Jaime x Brienne: Oh the Sapphires... Obviously anyone who cares for Jaime’s wellbeing would want him to end up with Brienne as opposed to Cersei. I read this interesting theory recently on how these two don’t actually love each other but confuse their strong platonic feelings of affection for romance. You see, that’s also an interesting take as both characters are quite bereft off opposite gender friendships.

However, I strongly ship them romantically as well, Book!Brienne (hey show as well!) is truly admirable because based on her choice in men e.g. Renly, you can see how she had still not given up on her maidenly fantasies and I just love her for that, because true love isn’t something to which only pretty women are entitled. She in many ways represents salvation for him as she being a true knight in spite of her gender, can veer him back into the path of chivalry. He is most chivalrous around her, I mean, not only because her good conduct influences but also because he performs some of the most knightly deeds by cause of her e.g. rescuing her from the bear pit. I like this ship, it’s a good trope subversion.

Tyrion x Tysha: I find this one of the more heartbreaking ships of ASOIAF, because to me it represents Tyrion’s loss of innocence.

She is a haunting figure because of how small remnants of her memory were enough to pull Tyrion into the toxic relationship he had with Shae e.g. she too hard dark hair and there was music around when he met her. Its one of those weird (as @omgellendean put it in her brutally honest ask tag answer - a character who consists of only a name), but unlike Ashara Dayne, she is not idealised and given this over-the-top tragic story. So this elusive Tysha is an entity by what she symbolises: foregone youth and a sweetness that has no place in the ASOIAF universe.

Henry VIII x Anne Boleyn: As I said in my last ask. I cannot tolerate the romanticisation of infidelity, and that is especially when the male’s spouse is a wonderful woman fit for him and has done nothing wrong. I don’t have strong feelings against Anne Boleyn herself, as I prefer to see her as ‘Anne the Educated and Sophisticated Reformer’ as opposed to ‘Anne the Seductress’. Ugh let me just say... rule of thumb for whether it’s a good pair: Do thousands have to die for your selfish desire to be together? Yes? Then probably not meant to be. Just a thought.

I think Anne knew her own mind and I like to think her strong beliefs influenced her decision to breach this marriage (no I didn’t think she was her father’s pawn gah I’m sick of that term), but they were ultimately unsuited in everything and it was a passion brought about by Henry’s caprice. My heart breaks when I think on how Anne could have been happily married to Henry Percy. I’m also tried of this whole ‘master manipulator of men’s hearts’ reputation Anne is getting. You do realise refusing to be a mistress was not being a tease as much as it was just being a conventionally virtuous woman..? The girl knew her worth.

George x Isabel: Oh god. I promise to not start writing an essay. As weird as it is to ship dead people, they are my OTP, the main characters of my main historyfanfic, and frankly the most unsung couple of TWOTR. The fact that there are no records of letters or any particularly over-the-top romantic gestures by either of them, just intrigues me more because it was very much a relationship defined in subtle deeds. If you peruse the more academic TWOTR literature you can see all the fine but conclusive evidences of a devoted relationship: He posthumously enrolled her in a guild when he stayed there with his children (months after she died), he was buried together with her and her ancestors not his, how during 1470 he sent her to Exeter for her safekeeping while her mother and sister remained at Warwick and when a siege broke out he (and his father-in-law) immediately rode south to lift it and the amount of expenses and care he put into her funeral. Not to mention, the hassle it took for them to get married: years of trying to get a dispensation underneath the king’s nose culminating in them having to cross the channel.

The thing is, it had a lot of politics behind it and to be honest I don’t find that less romantic. It was one right for both of them: for the wealthiest heiress in England and the handsome younger brother and heir of King Edward - truly no one else would do for any of them. One of the things that grabs me is the medievalness of it all, how they were bound together by what was essentially a plan to reverse the country’s inevitable transition out of ‘bastard feudalism’. You also get a sense of how this marriage despite the ultimate failure of its purpose (to make George King) brought George the chance to establish himself as a major magnate through his wife’s lands which ultimately became his main source of power as opposed to his royal status. The relative peace that ensued after 1472 shows that his status as Warwick’s political heir (as Christine Carpenter put it) did something to placate the disapointment of not becoming king. So the way I see it, Isabel’s death took from him any of the satisfaction and peace she brought with her lands and persona as he once again reverted to his old (even more than before) reckless self. Not to mention the people he executed after her death in his grief believe in her to have been poisoned (most historians believe that’s unlikely).

Aside from that, in a society where pretty much everyone strayed (even Anthony Woodville had a bastard daughter), it is quite heart-warming how the man known for his treachery, happened to be one of the only ones loyal to his wife: no bastards or women were ever linked to his name not even in rumour. As for Isabel, she is quite a shadowy figure but you get the sense she was intelligent because of the care her father took in preparing her as his heir, because of her wealth you get this sense of majesty and significance about her. The two times we can deduce anything about her personality is a true supporter of her husband: once, when deciding to treat with the Yorks behind her father’s back to reconcile George to them, second, remaining steadfast to George when he tried to squirrel her sister Anne out of her inheritance. Based on the homage she paid to her ancestors, she seems proud of her ancestry so it’s quite intriguing to think why she made the aforementioned two choices, endangering her father and sister in favour of her husband. And oh god I’m rambling, I can say even more if you can believe it but I shall stop. Overall, one might think I’m wishful thinking but frankly Anne and Richard are touted as star-crossed lovers all the time and with even littler evidence to support it (not that I don’t ship them, I do). I might be subjective, but the story of George and Isabel’s life is just so compelling...

[hughiecampbelle]

Novelty Pt. Two (Thomas Shelby Oneshot)

Character/s: Tommy, Shelby family mention

Word Count: 1,606

Requested: @captivatedbycillianmurphy @parochialism

Inspired By: @parochialism

Tag List: @dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt

A/N: First, if you're going to give anyone credit for the plot, we should all thank @parochialism :) Thank you my love!!! Your idea was so lovely and I felt so stuck about what to write, your reply was so incredibly helpful and I couldn't have written part two without you!!! Second, I really like writing parts to fics! I'm not sure I'd be able to write more than just two parts, but I thought the same when it came to this! Third, this is the longest thing I've ever written and idk, I'm really proud!!! I'm proud of how it turned out! I haven't been able to say that in a while, but I think I needed a lil break from mini-fics to get back into the swing of writing. Feedback is always appreciated my loves! 💜💖💜

~ FIC MASTERLIST PART ONE. / PART TWO. ~

PART ONE.

A curse, the greatest loss of them all, to see young love die.

He could have burned them, used them as an ash tray, put his cigarettes out on them one by one until it held the whole pack. He could have thrown them away, tearing them apart, shredded to pieces. But he didn't. Instead the divorce papers sat there, lifeless, collecting dust in the corner of his desk. Other papers, books, things of more importance stacked on top. Neglected, just like your marriage. Didn't matter, not really, it sent the same message all the same, no use in trying. No one could divorce a Shelby. Tommy never would have agreed despite the lack of love he felt for you, and no lawyer dare let you set foot through their doors with a last name that dangerous. If you'd known all those years ago this is where you'd be, sitting, waiting for him to react through the thin walls of the office, bracing for the worst, you never would have said yes on those fucking tracks.

He knew how you felt regardless of those papers. It was clear the space between you was growing, opening a pit you wished, you hoped, you'd fall into one day. Two lives lived separate, coming together only when neccesary. Grew up, apart, wanting different things. A man of power, he cared more about the toy soldiers he sent out, doing his dirty work for him, than the spouse he left at home each night, rotting alone in the bed they used to share. Greedy, angry, hungry. This was his life, his business, you were nothing more than a tiny, mangled piece of the puzzle. Meant to speak when spoken to, appear on his arm with a smile and only good things to say, put on a good act when there were eyes watching. When there weren't, he didn't give your actions much thought. You weren't even sure you existed out of his line of sight.

You came to family meetings. Not to nod and smile, the family knew just how you felt about one another, but because you had every right to be there, same as the rest. Your feelings for Thomas didn't bleed out towards the rest. Greeting Pol, Arthur, John, Michael, even Finn with a kiss on the cheek, a kind word, a lighthearted quip towards their brother or cousin. Sweet as ever, complimenting you quietly. You were their small reminder of the world before the war. A lifelong friend before an in-law. Someone to cherish, to protect. Regardless of what your husband felt for you, they still loved you. You sat with them instead, an us vs. them. None of you afraid to call him out, to stare in those deep blues and question him, his authority. He needed that, to be knocked down, challenged, learn that the world would not bow or smile per his beck and call.

You didn't work for him, or any of them. This wasn't your place. He wanted to be the provider, for you to wait long hours for him and him only, but you wanted your own freedom, your own worth. Found a shop. Used your maiden name. They all knew, but no one dare say a thing. Hired you on the spot, your boys visiting often per his request. Checking up, making sure you behaved. It wasn't much, but it was yours, and that was enough. Quiet, without him. A place of escape, to fill your own time with. No guns, no bodies, it was safe here. He knew his place, not to set foot. You had your own territory. This was yours. Untouchable, sacred. Tommy still knew his place sometimes.

You thought about leaving, disappearing, packing your bags, showing him you meant what you said. And you had, a few times, caught yourself on a train ride to nowhere, but you always came back, wasting the day, frustrated with yourself. You weren't only leaving him. They were your family, too. Your nieces and nephews, brothers and sisters, your friends, people you cared for and who cared for you. It was your home, too. The same place you grew up, a place you never really wanted to stay too far from. It was yours, not just his. He'd find you unpacking, shoving the suitcase in the closet, knowing what you did today, why his men couldn't find you working. There were a lot of things you gave up becoming a Shelby, a lot, but your home would not be one of them.

No one defied him the way you could. There was an art to it all, a dance. Though he wanted to be the one in power, you always lead. Slamming a bowl in the sink, a drawer shut, a door or simply stomping your foot. A reminder that you made noise, that you were to be heard. Rage pickled under your skin, burning your eyes, sharpening your words. Nothing touched him. He was just as ruthless, uncaring, slicing you to shreds with the things he said. You knew one another better than you knew yourselves. All his soft spots, weaknesses, fears, they sat on the tip of your tongue, ready to pull the trigger. Broken bits strewn across the floor, neither of you picking it up. It was no shock to the rest of the world that the Shelby's were unhappy. The way the help spoke, you weren't surprised. Left to pick up the pieces, the two of you unable to look at one another, word spread quick.

There were others. Other bodies he spent the night with, other smiles he charmed, buying drinks for, other hands he kissed. It was easy for him to find a companion. Strangers threw themselves at him, falling for the same eyes you did. Those lipstick stains were not your shade, nor were the scratches on his back by your nails. He gave up hiding it, and you gave up caring. You stopped looking for one another for that kind of comfort. He wasn't the only guilty one. Trips to London, where no one had to know who you are, where no one needed to. Dressed up just for them, needy for attention, a touch, to be wanted. No feelings, no names, no strings, just mindless, naked fun. You never let yourself get too close, too attached. They'd face a fate worse than death. The animosity meant you and them were safe. He never asked where you were, what you were up to, as long as you were home by Sunday.

Sometimes, though, those stars would shine through when he looked at you, the barriers crumbling, the walls falling. He'd carry to the car, bring you home when you drank too much at the bar. Tuck you in under the covers and apologize softly, sorry for the man he's become, sorry for the life you live, sorry you're stuck with him, this new him. After particularly bad fights he'd sigh, convinced you were asleep, apologizing for the things he said, wishing he'd been able to take them back. He apologized a lot when he thought no one was listening, when he could drop this angry facade, revealing just how tired he truly was. Laying beside you, over the blankets, his tie loose, jacket long gone, he'd apologize for all the things wrong in the world, wrong in the marriage. Apologize for taking your youth, stealing so many years from you, for never giving you the family you always wanted, the husband you always wanted, the one he promised to be in a past life. Sorry for this, and that, and everything else. . . .

It didn't fix anything, it didn't make you love him the way you used to, it didn't make him the man he used to be. There were still fights, nights you spent floors away from one another, in beds that weren't your own, in booths trying to drink your problems into oblivion when you hated the very sight of him. It didn't prevent you from staying with Esme and John, taking the couch at Pols, even disappearing back home with your side when that house felt too haunted. It didn't fix a goddamn thing, and it never could, but it humanized him, a corpse he'd been carrying around since he stepped off that train.

It wasn't hate. You never hated him as a person. You hated the words he said, and the things he did, but there would always be peaks and hints of the boy you first fell for. You were mourning in your own ways, bitter, crying for a loss no one else could see or feel. For the people you always pictured yourselves being, the houses you'd have, the life you'd live, the children you always wanted to have. Never would you raise on this environment, not now. Mourning your lost youth, your own broken heart. It was a marriage of grief, a graveyard of wedding vows, made up of dead promises. This was never like anything the two of you expected, and that was something to grieve for. It wasn't easy watching happy engagements turn into a lifetime of unconditional love. It wasn't fair. Faces younger than your own had been still happy to this day, their hair white,terth gone. Til death would they part, you guessed. . . .

When your request was denied by the very man who promised to do whatever it was to make you happy was the day you realized, no matter what you did in this lifetime, your own grave would still have the name Shelby carved into it.

[toogayforthistoday]

This AU is FANTASTIC I would love to read about Hero! Gabe and Dabi's meeting and relationship 👀 🐉💖

OOF! Prepare yourself for a wall of text because HOO BOI!!

So I haven’t quite worked out how exactly they would meet, but chances are it would be while doing various Hero Work, deciding they work well together, and not saying no to working together more in the future.

As for their relationship... Well... This is why I got mad about the whole thing yesterday.

Faking dating.

Well, fake marriage, but you know what I mean!

I have to give credit where credit is due, and @nikkzships helped me come up with most of this.

So the Todoroki’s are invited to a wedding, and Enji and Rei, being worried parents, are trying to set up Touya with a date for the wedding, when Touya panics and tells them he’s already married.

And the reason they didn’t know was because they had eloped, due to the fact that ‘they were just... so in love! And they couldn’t wait!’

Rei tells him to send the invite to his ‘wife’, and she can’t wait to meet them.

Once they’re out of sight, Touya immediately calls Gabe, begging for their help cause he fucked up!

Gabe, having been low-key crushing on Touya for a while, agrees to help him out, but Hitsohi and Eri have to come as well, because Inko was busy. Both were heavily bribed to treat Touya as a father figure, or in Hitoshi’s case, an older brother figure he tolerated because he was ‘married to his Mom’.

They didn’t get a chance to practice being a loving couple before getting thrown straight into the fire, as Enji and Rei ambushed them at the airport. Gabe and Touya, being as quick witted as they are, linked hands and cozied up to each other, all smiles to his parents. Internally though, there was a war going on. An inner dialog screaming ‘Oh dear sweet lord I am holding their hand. If I die now, I will die happy’, as well as an almost overwhelming sense of ‘this feels right’.

Once at the hotel, Hitoshi and Eri get a room on their own, and Touya and Gabe get a room on their own, but we get to the next trope!

Bed sharing!

Touya: Uh oh. Why's there only one bed?

Gabe, sarcastic as all hell: Well gee, Touya, maybe it's cause they think we're married! I wonder whose fault that is?

Touya, guilty: I panicked! ...I said I was sorry.

Gabe, a sucker for his pouty face: ...Alright, I forgive you. But only cause you’re cute.

Touya, thrown: ...You think I'm cute?

Gabe, now panicking: I think you're a pain in the ass.

Anyways, they get to the resort the wedding is being held at, it’s a beach wedding, so all the necessary rich beach themed shenanigans happen. Boat rides, bonfires on the beach at sunset, dancing!

Fucking crab legs! Those shell crackers are hard to use if you’ve never done the whole crab thing before (I speak from experience 😔) so of course Touya acts the doting husband and helps his spouse. And Gabe short circuts a little.

And here’s where Hitoshi catches on that maybe this whole ‘fake dating thing’ isn’t just for show. At least for his mom.

So, he goes to talk to Shoto. They’re classmates, they’re friends, their brother and mother are putting on a very convincing act right now. Hitoshi asks Shoto about his view on Touya’s reactions.

Turns out, Touya’s been talking to his siblings about Gabe, and how he feels about them.

So they, and Eri, because she’s noticed too, team up to get them together, properly. They use Hitoshi and Eri’s room as a base of operations, and employ Natsuo and Fuyumi to help as well, especially since they are the best at distracting Enji and Rei, and don’t need them finding out Touya lied to them.

Eventually, the kids all drag Gabe into their room for an intervention, because this is getting ridiculous.

Gabe: "....Why do I need an intervention?"

Hitoshi and Eri: "Mom. You've had a crush on your co-worker for months."

Gabe, panicking: "I have not-!"

Eri: "You get that goofy smile every time you hold his hand."

Shoto: "You freeze every time you've seen him in a suit."

Hitoshi: "Your face looked like Shoto's hair when you two had to dance."

Gabe: ...

The kids: ...

Natsuo and Fuyumi walk through the door: "Are we late for the intervention?"

Gabe: "Is there anyone else in on this plan??"

Hitoshi: "Izuku, but his plans kick in if we make it back home."

Gabe: "UGH! Fine... I-*sighs* I like Touya. We done now?"

Team Dabianette: "NOPE!"

And that’s all I’ve got right now!

~ Gabe