#the silly man (he’s on drugs)

[critterishere]

A loving god wouldn’t let such a filthy creature exist.

[sallymew4]

kids when they hear that their dad is back in town VS. kids when theyre hanging out with a conman that accidentally stole their wallet once

im not even joking btw

bonus heres me being crazy about them in dms ^^^

[hellsquills]

You ever think Stan could somehow realize that Fiddleford was messing with his own brain out of experience?

Let me explain

In some AU in which Stan meets Fiddleford a little after the portal incident, I'm sure he was convinced that Fidds was doing some chemical stuff to his brain so he'd forget whatever he was trying to forget. Obviously he couldn't have known about a memory-erasing gun, but my best bet is that he thought Fidds was doing drugs. Not alcohol or weed, since those leave some nasty smell, but rather something like coke, heroin, or meth. I'm sure he's had a load of experience with drug-addicted people, and that's what makes sense in this situation.

HOWEVER, I like to think that he'd be sympathetic at first, since he knows drug use is very often a product of necessity. He tries to get Fidds to help him, but the man is adamant on not turning the portal back on. And Stan thinks "okay, this guy's a little messed up, he's probably had some shit happen to him, but I'll insist, I'll try to change his mind, maybe offer him a helping hand in return". The real problem arises when one day he visits Fidds for his regular "pleasepleaseplease help me with the portal" and Fidds just goes "what portal?"

From this point on, Stan panics. He needs this guy with his mind intact, and he's running out of time. The solution? He kidnaps him to keep him away from the "drugs" until he sobers up and remembers.

[aroace-and-has-a-mace]

y’all know that one video of an edited version of i/me/myself where they switched the second and fourth beats? i think that video is peak will wood fan culture, simply because it gave me my favorite line ever.

‘goyfriend birlfriend’

[blujayonthewing]

[guy who lives in lowkey constant fear of being flanderized and infantalized and flattened and misunderstood and not taken seriously as an entire human person with complex thoughts and feelings in real life] yeah I dunno why I feel so strongly and get so defensive about Fantasy Racism and fantasy-race stereotyping it's just a really big sticking point for me for some mysterious reason

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

i'm kind of amazed how most of the stardew marriage candidates just want you to be their manic pixie dream whatever by agreeing with everything they like and plying them with compliments or praise or whatever (which is fine but a bit. Much) but for shane his romance is just you being there for him while he figures his own shit out... dunno why i never wanted to romance him before he's so good

[quietwingsinthesky]

1 or 34 for the master pls thank u :333!!!!!!!

extremely funny to me how quickly this got away from me alsjfjfkskkdj. i started thinking too hard about okay but Who could bring the master to his knees. the doctor? hey wait remember that time ten had a god complex for a little bit. what if he got worse about that, actually. and then it just kept going-

This is not the Doctor whose arms he died in.

Oh, the face is the same, but the eyes are all wrong. Still ancient, as old as the Master is, but they’ve gone hard like bone. He doesn’t spare a glance around the room at the cowering scientists or the politician that wanted to use the Master, who gave him such easy access to a perfect plan before the Doctor landed his TARDIS on top of the machine and crushed it. Only to one human, the one assigned to hold the Master’s leash.

“Give him to me,” he says. The Master curls his fingers. A step closer, and he’ll let the Doctor taste lightning again.

His assigned guard all but throws the leash at the Doctor. (They’re all terrified. Something’s… wrong, there. Not a misplaced sympathy of his own — let them fear their betters — but it’s the Doctor, it’s how he ignores them, how he holds himself like. He looks every bit a Time Lord.) The Doctor catches it, turns it in his hand, and yanks. The Master feigns a stumble, energy surging through his skin and bones, rattling up dangerously until-

The Doctor pulls harder, knocking him off-balance and to his knees. He twists, but there’s a hand in his hair, painfully dragging his head back until his neck screams in pain. The pinprick of a needle is barely a whisper above it, but the sluggish cold that spreads from the injection spreads no matter how he struggles. The Doctor grips his hair tighter.

“There. You’re stabilized,” the Doctor notes. The Master pants, his limbs growing heavier. “And sedated. You have to be so difficult.” For the first time, the Doctor’s voice falters from the detached tone he’s taken so far. It’s harsh, as thick with accusation as with self-reproach, “I asked you to come with me.” The Master is having a hard time ordering his thoughts. They stretch too far for him to see the whole of them, his sense of time and of himself going numb.

“How?” he lands on, more important than any other question. The Doctor’s grip begins to loosen, letting his head sag forward. His body wants to follow. His vision of the floor he’s kneeling on blurs.

“You were living on borrowed time,” the Doctor says. “I have all of it to work with at my fingertips. When I saw you again…” There’s the absent trail of fingers through his hair. The Master recoils from it instinctively, though that sends him further down, barely holding himself up on his hands. The collar draws tight around his throat when he falls, forcing out a gasp, but it loosens again. “It only took a few decades. I’d have given more to you.” The Master lifts his hand, slowly, and forces it out in front of him. It’s humiliating to crawl, but his limbs can barely keep his weight. He barely moves himself forward a few inches before the collar is a hard barrier against his breath again, and this time, he doesn’t receive any slack. He has to scoot back towards the Doctor.

“You’re going to live,” the Doctor says, without mercy. He steps around the Master, the leash dragging along the floor with a mocking hiss.

“And the rest of you,” the Doctor’s voice grows louder. It becomes a proclamation, a warning. “I won’t hurt you. It’s a stupid and dangerous thing you were doing, but that’s… that’s what you love most, humans. Stupid, dangerous things.” Where’s the sickening fondness, the Master wonders. Where’s the disappointment, even, in his favorite pet species? All he can hear in the Doctor’s voice is carefully controlled anger. “I’m not going to hurt you for putting the whole world in danger,” he repeats, as though he’s reminding himself of that fact, and then, the Master can hear him smile. Regeneration after regeneration, and the Doctor always talks different when he’s smiling. “I don’t have to. If you ever try anything like this again, you won’t have existed in the first place to come up with the idea. I will take you out of this timeline.” He pauses. “Or maybe I’ll just make you kinder. Buy you a coffee on a bad day and change your life forever. You can exist, just not like this.”

He sounds powerful, and worse, he doesn’t sound scared of it. The Master uses the last of his strength to drag himself back up to his knees. The Doctor is surveying the room, memorizing faces, lost in thought about time to tamper with. The Master puts a hand around his own leash. He tries to pull.

All that does is get the Doctor’s attention.

His eyes. The Master is afraid of his eyes.

“Sorry,” the Doctor says, “I’m not going to carry you. You’ll have to crawl.” The Master is searching for anything familiar in him. And what there is, what little there is that he recognizes, is only because of how easily he could have seen it in a mirror instead. “If you pass out, I’ll drag you,” the Doctor offers like a compromise. He turns away from the Master, snaps his fingers, and the doors to the TARDIS burst open.

He takes the Master prisoner. He saves the world. They are both, after all, the Doctor’s alone to decide what to do with.

[whump prompt]

[noodleguys]

Aem posting moment ft. some friends' ocs :3

This is my pathetic man who gets high and only brings the mood down sometimes

He's always filthy and never really cleans up

He also has high intelligence but rolls low so often for those checks that it doesn't even matter (yet when it's time to be rolling for a stupid bit he ALWAYS hits a nat 20 for some reason)

Not to mention that there is an unfortunate series of events that have led people to believe that he is secretly hooking up with another man in the party named Rawdog

[agent-cupcake]

You should be a coomer about Raphael, he’s got like Ardyn rizz but worse. As my favorite Sad Old Man enjoyer I think he’d be right up your alley!

i know it is deeply disappointing but i literally cannot thirst for anyone else until i get over this dude

so pretty

after THAT, who is to say, i have the mental/creative consistency of warm cottage cheese and the emotional loyalty of a CW character. i'm holding out hope dawntrail will provide me a new toxic man but if not, all bets are off and i may have to look elsewhere SO the point is: maybe. we'll see

[queer-reader-07]

do y’all have those things you do with your parents that are so routine that you forget that it’s not “normal”?

because for me it’s definitely that my dad and i email each other memes. and not in a “my dad is technologically inept” way, my dad has an engineering degree and has worked in tech for over 3 decades. no it’s more of a “he’s TOO technologically literate to not email me memes” way.

he only has facebook on his computer, so instead of figuring out how to get the memes to his phone to text them to me, he saves the images and emails them to me. and i love it but i do oftentimes forget that getting emails with shitpost memes from your father isn’t exactly normal

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

Cannot believe Wyll's romance has me legitimately giggling & kicking myself feet

[gently-decaying-flowers]

sometimes it takes really really paying attention to the lyrics for a song to sink in for me

sometimes what the artist is saying makes me very sad

[pixelkip]

Aside garcello got the brainrot into HIGH fucking gear today

[maxthesillyy]

not to make two 10 pm random life is strange thoughts in a row but im just saying damon and frank were kinda gay

[hecksupremechips]

Actually cry so goddamn hard when I think about Shinjiro Aragaki healing and being loved and having to learn to be okay with himself and being taken care of

[edgarallanpoestan]

can you imagine being a new lovejoy enjoyer and not knowing why everyone says wilbur instead of will? can you imagine being a new lovejoy enjoyer and not knowing tommyinnit is in perfume? can you imagine being a new lovejoy enjoyer?