#the show writers and actors know better
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Not gonna make fun or insult people who enjoy the thought of the most random ships in fandom- that is after all part of fandom fun- but…. You do realize that (aside from being kinda messed-up) the Galadriel x Halbrand/Sauron ship is, from a simple technical aspect, absolute impossible?
Sauron is a Maiar, an angelic being only second to the Powers/Valar (gods) and the only pairing of Elf-Maia was between elven king Thingol and the Maia Melian. And in order to even be with him, she had to bind her being to an permanent solid physical form- limiting with it not only her powers but also becoming as vulnerable as any elf.
Now can you imagine freaking Sauron giving up his near god-like powers for anyone? Not only that, but be willing to become physically vulnerable and with it having the risk of actually dying???!!!!!
#random thought of the day#but seriously#that ship has less success then the titanic surviving an iceberg#i am aware that this is just a fandom thing#the show writers and actors know better#in interviews morfydd already mentioned lovingly celeborn#nor did the show at any moment imply anything else than what is canon#i get it fandom is ment to be fun#but it’s also funny how ridiculous it can be#the rings of power#the silmarillion#tv shows#things I like
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Do you get the impression the live action is treating us like utter morons?? Like I thought that making it aimed at an older audience would open the doors for more subtle story telling, but no, they're just using monologues to tell us eveything! Like in the second episode Katara's like 'oh his power isn't that he's the avatar, it's that he ~connects~ to people'. Girl we're not idiots we can see that!! And the first episode with Aang's goddawful 'I don't want this responsibility' monologue
THIS, YES. The word that keeps coming to mind is definitely "subtlety". The show for literal children? Had it. The remake for adults? Not so much.
#This is literally Storytelling 101: Show Don't Tell#I'm sorry scriptwriters I know you were working before your union won minimal staffing in writers' rooms and decent pay and all that#but You Know What You Did#Also cgi artists plz unionize#A few more hours on Momo would have maybe taken him further out of the nightmare monkey puppet category#I know some people are reporting him as cute#But all I can see is a creature from the Magnus Archives#that thing is the skin of Momo being worn by something that doesn't quite move right underneath#And maybe it is looking for a better fit#Don't let it touch you adorable child actor Aang#avatar the last airbender#atla#natla#Anyone looking to block the live action posts I'll be tagging all of these with that natla tag going forward#But yeah not going to post about it much#I came I saw I deemed it not worth the hours of my life it asked#I can literally write a better Avatar AU than this#Anyway back to Toph beating up Blind Zuko!#*write write write"#(their big budget fanfic can't hurt me it can only introduce more fans to the original)
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can we bring back procedurals? or at least just proper shows like how TV used to be? 5 to 15 seasons, a generous amount of episodes per season, 45 minutes: the sweet spot between too long and too short, pilot episodes that are wildly different from the rest of the show, filler episodes that overall contribute nothing but are extremely fun because that is what god intended, random musical episode, crossovers, waiting an entire week in anticipation to see what happens next, like, this was the PEAK of television, where did we go wrong
#i would gladly pay for cable and cut streaming for this#better yet make procedurals on streaming#if you can make 5 seasons of a show over the span of literally 10 years on a budget that could take someone to space#you can make low budget procedurals with good plot and new actors because THAT IS WHAT THE MASSES WANT#the ratio of people rewatching older shows to watching the new ones are insane#shows releasing one episode per week is what kept it relevant that long#and shows used to have more je nais se quais yk#shows today feel soulless like cash grabs#not all of them ofc there are amazing shows that i am glad to have seen#but procedurals and proper tv dramas used to and continue to be a genre that never misses if done right#sure i like umbrella academy (season 3 and 4 are erased from my memory) but with the budget for that show#if you'd hired a bunch of new actors and one popular and respected actor that everyone knows#give some new writer a chance#make a procedural#throw in some angst and found family#a bit of subtext even#and released 20 episodes over the span of 20 weeks#tell me who wouldn't have loved it#i miss procedurals man#psych#white collar#the mentalist#house md#monk#law and order#criminal minds#i do know some of them still exist but the point is that this genre deserves so much more#good writers#better producers#the rookie is doing great
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Someone please write fan fiction and make a better ending for season 4 :) like I’m begging yall, please redeem whatever the f*ck was that!!!!
It needs redemption IMMEDIATELY, like this cannot be the finale. I’m in DENIAL, I refuse to believe it ended like that, NO! :) someone needs to make it better clearly they failed
I would do it but my writing skills are horrible, unless someone wants to cowrite with me (if you have more better writing skills than me cause mine sucks) cause I have so much ideas for a good season 4 finale so if anyone wants to help me out please dm me (or comment)! Cause I really want to write a better season 4, this deserves justice 😞✊🤧
#the umbrella academy#tua#who’s idea was this????#like I can’t believe they filmed that and thought that was a great idea#if I was an actor there I would be PISSED#I would not be on board#I would rant on social media#I would be enraged#this literally makes me want to write fanfic myself to fix this shit show#maybe I would (no I wouldn’t my writing is horrible?#!*) oops ? that was an accident ^#but if I did know how to write I would be writing right now and make it better#unless someone wants to help me edit it or idk co writers#allison hargreeves#klaus hargreeves#luther hargreeves#five hargreeves#diego hargreeves#viktor hargreeves#Lila#ben hargreeves#klave
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You ever think about how the majority of cishet men who either write or star in popular media whose fandoms go absolutely wild (being degenerates) in ways that influence not only international fandom media but even seep into traditional/budgeted/industry media probably don't realise just how much their characters specifically had to do with that, like even the ones that are vaguely aware of and uncomfortable with the way fandom ships them or whatever, they don't know, they don't know what they've done, they don't knowww
#this is my brain after taking psychic damage from strange aeons' new omegaverse video#also girl WTF DO YOU MEAN THERE WILL BE MORE OMEGAVERSE VIDEO AFTER THIS ONE WHAT DO YOU MEAANNNN#strange aeons#like do you think benedict cucumberbatch knows he is the reason there's omegaverse in east asian published media now???#what if he finds out#what would it do to his brain#would he even be able to fully comprehend it#will he and so many others die in blissful ignorance of the consequences of their actions#the true sexism of media is that cishet industry men don't need to take the psychic damage from their media sphere that I do#the true sexism of media is that steven moffat gets to look at the fandom girlies writing smut abt his shows#and misogynistly dismiss them as crazy perverts and bad women and make fun of them in said shows#while I have to sit here and take them seriously bc they are my fandom peers and I know women are people just like everyone else#and these crazy perverts are real life humans with brains a decent portion of whom are better writers than steven moffat#and get paid 0% of the £££ he does for it#how can we force A list actors and their relevant writers to watch strange aeons videos this is my question#how can we rob them of their innocence like the rest of us who've had to see their fans get up to shit
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No I mean the Avatar live action isn’t overall GOOD but it’s got its moments and it’s not good in interesting ways and I will certainly watch all 8 episodes
Plus I mean the Zuko and Iroh stuff is wonderful and on some level that’s kinda all I need
#TALES OF BA SING SE MUSICAL THEME REPRISE#GOT ME FUCKED UP!!!#the action and overall design is gorgeous#some of the actors are so good#and some are so very bad#how they’ve chopped up combined rearranged the events of the show is interesting#some of that works better than others#the script really is#phew#I never want to hear the word responsibility again#but alas it’s the only one this writers room knows
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sorry for the meme format that's apparently nearing a DECADE old but i unironically feel a shiver down my spine any time someone mentions buffy being rebooted
#i can SEE the fucking netflix machine stamping it into the LA winx club/wednesday mold and it makes me want to tear apart#a chain link fence with my teeth#i've watched too much bad tv recently and i don't know who to blame but it fucking sucks out here man#can we stop writing tv like it's a bad novel and/or a collection of Funny Tweets xd#there's no fucking SUBSTANCE these days it's just one nonsensical twitter draft after another#if there's a tiktok plot i will kms in front of the writer's room and forever change the trajectory of their bond. for better or worse idc#also if they cast an actor younger than me to play spike i'll- i'll- i'll oh boy you don't even KNOW how worked up i can get about#this imaginary scenario i just made up in my head#buffyposting#btvs#*specifying 'gen z' here because if the main thrust of your reboot pitch is that the show is the same but less universal i will eat you ali
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The only two who know how good omens season 3 will happen/end
#WE BETTER BE SUPPORTING THE WRITERS STRIKE FOR GOOD OMENS SEASON 3 PEOPLE#they know#good omens#neil gaiman#agnes nutter#make the phropices come true#support the show (if you can) and give large support of the writers and actors in strike#support the wga
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I know ppl couldn't care less about the humans in the cgi movies but Zoe and Dr. Rubin were both hilarious characters and the more i rewatch the movies the more i think about that.
#we all know Ian was the best human character simply bc David cross was great on it but i think these two are pretty funny!!#the idea of an adult woman hyping the chipmunks is so adorable and a great way to explain why Alvin nevergot expelled lmao#and zoe was simply hilarious! maybe because i find her out-of-reality personality too appealing#it's such a shame the writers of the cgi movies couldn't write Dave better bc while i don't hate him like other ppl#i do think he is one of the least interesting human characters in all the movies#i don't think it's the actor's fault they just didn't know what to do with his character besides being a strict dad for the chipmunks#but funny enough i do think dave from the cgi series is even more boring despite there are episodes focused on him#i love when he is all affectionate with his sons and the chipettes but he is so bland without that and sometimes way too strict#i still can't believe there is an episode focused on the chipmunks getting scared of Dave knowing they spilled milk#it just shows how many times he has get angry for the most simply things#it doesn't help AT ALL that the show has barely likeable human characters i mean i adore miss smith but i do get why ppl don't like her#miss croner is an amazing contrast to miss miller! but i do think they write her way too aggressive at times#officer dangus is the only character besides miss miller that i find decent without giving a 'but' in the middle#the classmates of the chipmunks.... Yeah we don't talk about them#i would like to go further with the humans characters of the 80's show but i still need to watch a LOT of episodes#but i would say that most of the episodic human characters of the 80's have been pretty nice so far#i loved the old lady that got a date with Alvin!! she was way too sweet with him and i love the way alvin learn his lesson at the end#also it has the best dave so far!! he is a lovely dad and he can be funny on his own way. i can tell he is just doing his best ahaha#aatc#alvin and the chipmunks
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Gonna have to pause and finish Cooking Crush when it's over because it's getting ridiculous with the jumpy storytelling, fluctuating characterizations, strange lack of chemistry, random dramatic scenes that fail to fully connect to previous plot or dialogue, and absolutely unacceptable treatment of glasses.
idk how a show with such a cute plot and some good actors that I've enjoyed before is managing to let me down so much.
#Cooking Crush#cooking crush the series#like I want to know what happens but I dont think I can take it on a weekly basis or much at all#Also the writer/director/actors idk but people on this show clearly dont wear glasses based on how they're treating them#RIP Neo because he did a similar character arc in The Eclipse only TE did it BETTER
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I love Pete so much. He's so underrated, and I know that I'll miss his character once he leaves the show.
He's an amazing friend. He may not have reacted the best way to Clark's initial confession, but he has grown so much from then, and he does so much to help Clark. He buries Kryptonite when Clark can't and helps him research and gets involved with the police for him. Clark literally calls him family!
And whenever Chloe gets upset, he comforts her with his words and his back rubs. Like, he's so caring and compassionate.
His humor and his brightness are so lovely. He's such a breath of fresh air on the show, and I'm so mad that he doesn't get more storylines and moments when he's such a compelling character. I really want the show to delve more into Pete (and his family because we really don't know that much about him), but I know that the writers won't.
Like, look at him. He's such a cutie.
#also I do like Chloe a lot but I infinitely prefer Clark's friendship with Pete over his friendship with her#probably because Chloe is always getting mad at Clark for something while Pete is almost always good with Clark#I heard that Pete left the show because the actor requested more storylines but wasn't getting them by the writers and it's such a travesty#he's a main character there's no reason he should be sidelined (although this is the early 2000s so we all know why he is 🙁)#I'm totally normal about this#I just think Pete deserves better (and my brother agrees with me despite only seeing clips here and there)#pete ross#smallville#gif is not mine#my post
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'Hannibal was queerbaiting because Hannibal and Will didn't kiss'
I am biting you I am biting you I am biting you
#i know i should know better than get 'hot takes' of people who read and watch shows with 0 comprehension but this just gets almost boring#A CHARACTER SAID HANNIBAL IS IN LOVE WITH WILL. AFTER WILL ASKED THE QUESTION HIMSELF#he dedicated him a corpse in a shape of a mangled heart as an expression of love#Hannibal himself suggested he's in love with Will in conversations with Bedelia#the writer and the actors have confirmed multiple times that its a love story#the fact that they showed that much on network television in 2015 when spn and bbc sherlock were busy dropping hints#and then making fun of people for reading into it#for the love of god learn what queerbaiting means#do you want hannibal to take will to baskin robbins or something? change his relationship status to “it's complicated” on facebook
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I know I've posted bingqiu actors au before but I'm having thoughts for another one..
Shen Yuan only occasionally acts in things he's interested in.. he'll be like "oh I like this book, they better not butcher it!" and then because his family is rich, he'll get a role. People who have never worked with him before hate him at first bc he's a nepotism baby, but then they see his passion and acting skills and go "Oh nvm, he's actually really good... he didn't have to audition like everyone else because he has connections, but if he had auditioned, we would have picked him regardless."
Then there's young binghe playing a minor character.. he's not an actor, nor does he want to be, but child labour laws say he can't get a regular job and he wants to help provide for his mom.. a 14 year old can't work at a fast food place, but movies do need real children to act in them, so that was the only option he had
Shen Yuan is 19 at this point and binghe ADORES him. He brings him food he made at home and shyly waits with bated breath for Yuan gege to say it's good. Shen Yuan helps him with his homework when neither of them are in a scene, and whenever binghe acts really well and the director praises him, he ignores everyone to run to shen yuan and ask if he did well.
When production nears its end binghe says he wants to keep working with Yuan ge!! Shen Yuan isn't working on any other projects though, and the ones he is working on won't hire Binghe.
Everyone is impressed enough with Binghe to help him stay in the industry though, and get him another minor role, then another, then a somewhat important role, then a co-lead... by the time he's in his early twenties, binghe is a household name, and shen yuan is "that actor most people will recognize but don't remember from where."
By the time they finally work together again it's like
Binghe: Yuan gege!!!! I'm so excited to work with you again!!!!
Shen Yuan: haha you remember me! I'm happy :)
Binghe, who borderline stalks shen yuan: haha yes of course I remember gege :))
Shen yuan still gives him head pats like when binghe was a kid and binghe still clings to him. One time shen Yuan gently pushes Binghe away after a tight hug that's gone on too long and says "okay okay that's enough" and binghe looks CRUSHED so shen yuan feels like the devil and pulls him back into a hug immediately
The movie comes out and it's very well received. Binghes acting was the best it's ever been (since he wanted to show off in front of Yuan gege) so people are very interested in seeing the behind the scenes footage
When it comes out people see binghe being OBSESSED with shen yuan. Whenever the two of them are in the same frame, binghe is looking at shen yuan with the softest most loving expression while shen yuan is yelling at the script writer about fan service. There's about 10 moments when Binghe comes up from behind and grabs shen yuans waist and sets his head down on shen yuans shoulder. When people see binghe saying "gege open wide, I made this just for you!" And hand feeding shen yuan they're like okay yeah there's no denying it anymore.
Then they find out this isn't their first time working together and find old bts footage of when binghe was 14 and following shen yuan around like a puppy with hearts in his eyes and they go holy fuck he's been obsessed with shen yuan for YEARS
The cast all go to an interview
Interviewer: people were surprised to see how close you two are!
Shen Yuan: well it's not our first time working together :)
Binghe: I've been waiting to work with Yuan ge again for all this time :D
Interviewer: aww! Now about rumors saying Luo Binghe is in love with shen Yuan...
Shen Yuan: obviously they're-
Binghe: true
Interviewer: ..... oh my
Shen Yuan: um...?
Binghe: Yuan ge is very well aware of my feelings, I was very obvious
*camera pans over to shen yuan where his face is red and his mouth is wide open in shock*
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astro obvs. & notes #1 - general
author’s note - this is for entertainment purposes only, none of this is fact. these are simply my own opinions!
- neptune 1H 🤝 pisces rising, noticing their eyes first. the water influence to these placements adds something that draws you in like a current, no pun intended. i used to work with a pisces rising, and she literally looked like a pretty fish (lmfao) big, shiny eyes. either of these placements can find it incredibly easy to appear sensual or seductive.
- speaking of water placements! i’ve also noticed pisces placements tend to take a lot of pictures around water. beaches, hot tubs, rivers.
- this can also be said for air signs (esp. libra) but with things they enjoy! i’m always seeing personal interest posts from libras, aquarians and geminis. music, video games, political causes, shows they’re watching, food, celebrities, etc. anything they like, they post. anything.
- i’ve never laughed harder than when i’m with people who have heavy gemini, capricorn, sagittarius and leo placements
- in my personal opinion and experience, capricorn risings are what people think scorpio rising is. i’ve only met one scorpio rising irl (that i know of) and she did not fit martian/plutonian ruling at all. celebrity examples ⬇️
kim hongjoong of ateez. the intimidation factor, the style, sex appeal, the interest in piercings/tattoos. he’s a capricorn rising, with his chart ruler, saturn, in the sign of aries so we see a lot of red/martian influence from him as well.
megan fox. she’s been a little fuckin weird ever since she dated mgk (that man makes me physically ill to look at much less read about) but! she had her bad bitch moments! being known primarily for her sex appeal + starring in jennifer’s body (a gothic treasure btw) i feel is very scorpio coded however she herself is a capricorn rising, with a sagittarius saturn in the 11h, more fire influence from her as well just like with hongjoong.
joan jett. THEE female guitarist of the 80s. her whole career was surrounded by sex, scandals, drugs, all the darker themes of rock n roll in general. she’s another fire ruled capricorn rising and a sagittarius saturn in the 11h like megan. her style and even her personality has an edge to it, much more fitting for scorpio/plutonian stereotypes rather the capricorn ones. imo.
- actors who’ve done major/recognizable roles in horror usually have a capricorn neptune. neptune is imagination and capricorn is ruled by the devil card in tarot. combine the two and you have quite literally = dark imagination. celebrity examples ⬇️
mia goth staring in the X series as the main face of the trilogy
bill skarsgard being the main face of the IT remake as pennywise
evan peters as tate langdon in AHS, he also played jeffery dahmer recently for netflix.
- capricorn actually shows up quite a bit in the horror genre, esp. gore and paranormal. both actors and writers.
- sagittarius too, oddly enough. a lot of well known faces of horror have major sagittarius placements/stelliums/jupiter dominance.
- underdeveloped cancer placements are more manipulative and two faced than geminis. i see so much gem slander on here, and don’t get me wrong, i love both cancer and gemini placements! however i’ve met and befriended quite a few of both, and cancers by far have been the common denominator in issues around them more than once. stirring the pot then turning around and playing the victim when people are frustrated, lying, playing both sides to better their own situation, and even playing people against each other. i’ve never seen such hateful behaviors from the geminis i know irl.
- aries men are much shyer compared to the women
- taurus women i’ve met irl get pregnant very easily. venus? good coochie? idk
- grand trines are some of the most beautiful people i’ve ever seen (a grand trine is when someone’s big 3, so sun/moon/rising, are in the same element but in all 3 different signs. ex: virgo sun, taurus moon, capricorn rising)
- queer individuals with pisces placements can pass as straight pretty easily if they wanted to. most of them are chameleons
- aries risings i’m so sorry for the household you had growing up. i see martian childhoods usually being the ones who dealt with screaming matches, toxic parents, poverty and underlying issues with siblings that last into adulthood
- i’m not surprised at all when libra placements tell me they’re in college for a general studies degree because they can’t figure out what they wanna do yet
- a lot of fan favorite female characters in video games are canonically cancers
- if you think your rising sign doesn’t suit you very well, try looking at whatever planet correlates with your gender identity. masculine: sun and mars, feminine: venus and moon. the houses and signs of these should help you out a little bit
- libra placements absolutely get favoritism at least once in their life, jobs/family dynamics especially
- sagittarius women usually have rough love lives, at least in the beginning. a lot of them try to save and help partners who don’t deserve it and they get hurt badly in the process. same goes with pisces women
- virgo venus is not that bad of a placement as stereotypes make it out to be. clean freaks? yes. perfectionists? usually, yes. loyal? yes. remember the small things? yes. romantic? no. at least not in a cheesy way. sensual? yes.
- lilith aspects to any of the big 3 is a bad bitch placement. honorable mention is venus/lilith aspects as well
- air signs like spicy food just as much as fire signs
- a lot of rappers have heavy mercurial placements (virgo and gemini) (3h and 6h)
- mc aspecting venus in anyway is usually the person who fools around with coworkers/may even cheat on a partner with someone they work with. most people with this placement have definitely had a partner at one point or another worried about someone they work with. may be the type to have a “work wife”/“work husband”
- 6h chiron is the person who’s life has been majorly impacted by their own or someone else’s health. disabilities, chronic illnesses, stds, limb amputation, skin grafts, etc.
- aries moon and mercury combo = bad potty mouth, cursing is an almost unbreakable habit
- speaking of aries! aries and aquarius placements together in any of these ➡️ moon, venus, mars, lilith, pluto ➡️ usually have a tendency to jump around from partner to partner very quickly, including falling back into exes. their thoughts and opinions on people and things change SO quickly that they usually are the kind of people who have rosters (unintentionally). they are upfront, they don’t lie or drag anyone along but they do seem to be restless when it comes to romance. even if they don’t physically date a lot, they may often THINK of it, their minds going a million miles a minute
- geminis do not get the rep they deserve for being freaks. not only does the sign traditionally rule the throat/lungs/hands/nervous system, (choking, breath play, hickies, hand fetish/fingering, blindfolding and sub/dom dynamics) but it’s also ruled by the lovers card in tarot 👁️👁️
- fixed signs 🤝 tattoos
- sagittarius/capricorn/pisces/libra placements usually have issues with religion/spirituality growing up. either they were forced into one as kids and they have an unhealthy relationship with their god now as an adult or they simply struggle to find something that feels true to them. this is just my experience but every single friend i’ve had who’s left the christian church, had an interest in paganism/buddhism, joined the satanic temple, grew up as strict catholics, etc, have had these placements. religion is a revolving door for them and it’s a common subject of struggle in their life
- women with pisces placements tend fall into unhealthy relationships very easily, especially if they’re heterosexual and dating men. they fall in love with the idea of love before the actual person presenting it. they are bossed around very easy and usually don’t like confrontation. honorable mentions for this as well: pisces stellium, cancer stellium/mercury/saturn, 7h saturn
- cheesy hallmark movies make me think of taurus/libra venus placements, 7h venus as well
- 5h cancer/moon/venus, cancer rising/moon dom, 5h/8h synastry aspects please be wary of accidental pregnancies! wrap it before you tap it cause y’all extra fertile 💀
- most well known streamers/youtubers have 10h stelliums, including their venus. a lot of them will end up dating another social media presence/someone who shares a platform/job with them
yay first post! pardon any spelling errors i’m proof reading this half asleep ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ
#astrology#astrology observations#aries#taurus#gemini#cancer#leo#virgo#libra#scorpio#sagittarius#capricorn#aqaurius#pisces#stellium#capricornneptune#10hstellium#7h saturn
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Something this show does incredibly well are the little moments Charles and Edwin share, without words, that sell the idea that they've been each other's Most Important Person for thirty years.
This little section of a scene takes all of probably six seconds.
Crystal has just taken her memories and is ready to rush off to London alone to sort out her issues. And what does she do? She digs up Edwin's attitude from early in the series, from before he knew or particularly liked her, and throws his words back at them.
And then it cuts to the boys, and they get this stunning little exchange that happens without a single word spoken.
Charles just gives Edwin this look. Like: there. You see? That's come back to bite us, hasn't it.
And Edwin gives him a smile, and a little nod, like: I'm leaving this to you, please take care of it.
And then he just turns and goes.
It is an absolutely brilliant moment, honestly. You can see how often they've done some version of this before – how often Edwin's abrasive attitude toward people he doesn't know very well has earned him exactly that look from Charles to remind him that his bedside manner could use work.
And there's something so incredibly familiar about the whole exchange. These characters are very aware of each other's strengths and weaknesses. They have grown to work and live together so seamlessly that they understand how and when to compensate for things their partner isn't as adept at handling. They both know that Charles has the better emotional intuition in this partnership; they both know it's his charisma that smooths the way with clients, because he's been doing it for thirty years.
It's such a tiny aside, but it packs so much into those couple of seconds. Any other show would have needed an entire scene to get across this much history and chemistry and been-there-for-you-for-decades affection and mutual support.
Not this one. Hats off to the writers and the actors for this little gem. What a good moment.
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Your colloquialisms are ruining the immersion (or, non-contemporary dialogue)
I am no expert here! Whenever I wrote historical fiction it was anachronistic historical fiction. This advice is from a reader’s perspective and from my experience writing high fantasy.
So what’s the deal with immersive dialogue? I’m going to ignore writing dialects and accents and so-called “old English” with the thee, thy, thou and such. Solely focusing here on the narrative telling me this isn’t set in present times, and yet the dialogue being painfully colloquial like present times.
This is coming from a book I had to read set in HRE times. In it, characters were spouting modern curse words, tacking on verbal tics and crutch words like “or something” and “um” and drawing out words like “daaaamn” and “nooooo”. Rip out the dialogue and toss it in a script with zero context and it would read like two high schoolers from 2009, not two adults from the Holy Roman Empire. Which is a problem, because it completely shattered the immersion. —
1. On so-called “formal writing”
Everybody knows that nixing contractions doesn’t do a damn thing to help your writing look more “formal”, it just looks robotic and stiff, right? We’ve gotten past this as a society? There’s a time and a place for replacing contractions with the full words, but not for every single sentence.
I swear this show keeps creeping into my writing advice but here we go. Transformers Prime. The context for Optimus’ dialogue has a lot to do with his aging voice actor, Peter Cullen, and the perception of the character over the decades from the corny 80s paragon hero everyman type leader to the grizzled and wizened old soul type leader. Optimus isn’t “one of the guys,” he’s old. Very old. He’s the dad of the group (one dad, his grumpy medic is the other dad).
So he gets lines like:
“I fear Megatron’s ambition is at its zenith.”
“But if his return is imminent as I fear, it could be a catastrophic.”
“I bore Skyquake no ill-will.”
He doesn’t curse like the other Autobots. His voice only raises in surprise, horror, or rage. He doesn’t go “um/ah/so/but/eh” and always thinks about what he’s going to say well before he says it. Despite him, Ratchet (the dad medic), and Megatron all being very old, Optimus is the only one who’s “proper” and collected and dignified with his lines. The writers didn’t achieve this simply by omitting contractions, he gets them where necessary and removes them when effective (e.g “We do not.” / “We don’t.”)
2. Thesaurus Rex
Continuing with the Optimus example, no other character in that show would use “zenith” unironically. Or “ill-will”. This doesn’t mean crack open and abuse a thesaurus but there’s a huge divide between:
“Megatron’s gone crazy and he’s going to implode soon” and “Megatron’s ambition is at its zenith”.
I can’ think of a better word to use than dignified, perhaps distinguished to describe his dialogue.
He doesn’t say “what?” when he’s confused, he pauses and says something like “please elaborate”.
This is both word choice and a syntax issue so if you’re struggling to fit a non-contemporary vibe for your work, pay attention to both.
3. When to abstain from cursing
There’s something very special about the dialogue in the Lord of the Rings movies: It’s PG-13 so they can’t curse, but if they had, it would have probably ruined the trilogy. These characters are able to yell in rage and anguish, spit vicious insults at their enemies, and stare down armies that are determined to kill them, all while never breaking the immersion.
Insults like:
“Late is the hour in which this conjurer chooses to appear.”
“Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth, you witless worm.”
“Your words are poison.”
And all three were said by or about Grima Wormtongue.
Characters aren’t dumbasses, they’re fools, with the exception of Gollum’s insults toward Sam, the “stupid, fat hobbit”.
Even devoid of name-calling, Denethor absolutely trounces his second son by asking (and I’m paraphrasing) “Is there any man here willing to do his lord’s bidding?” right after Faramir expresses some apprehension about a suicide charge with his remaining soldiers, completely ignoring him and implying that he’s not a real man.
LOTR is full of juicy lines beyond curse words, too. One of my absolute favorites is: “Dark have been my dreams of late” as opposed to “I’ve been having nightmares lately.”
Do you see?? It’s poetry. The motif of Shadow and Darkness as if they’re real, physical things, all the lines of poetry pulled straight from the books like Theoden’s “where is the horse and the rider” monologue just before Helm’s Deep.
It’s dignified.
—
This one was a bit harder to, ironically, put into words without doing a full-blown case study into either franchise’s ability to write dialogue and monologues. I didn’t even talk about Ratchet’s several monologues (one of which was done perfectly in the sound booth on the first take) because Jeffrey Combs has a voice like ambrosia.
TLDR: Immersion goes far beyond your vivid setting descriptors and the clothing or the names and languages. I mostly write fantasy and sci-fi and whenever I read or watch fantasy and sci-fi that isn’t meant to be a world different from our own, or about characters who don’t speak modern English, and they go off with modern slang, syntax, and verbal tics, it just feels sloppy and weak. Pay attention to the following:
Syntax
Modern slang and jargon
Filler words/verbal tics
Curse words/curses
Flat, unmotivated vocab
*All of the quotes were from memory because I watch both of these franchises way too often. So apologies if I got any wrong.
#writing#writing advice#writing resources#writing a book#writing tips#writing tools#writeblr#fantasy#sci fi#writing dialogue#immersion
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