#the second i come to an understanding that our relationship is difficult and will take time to repair

[ihaveverything]

Limitless manifesting for beginners

part I - the basic concepts

part II - states, techniques, change

part III - mental diet, sats

part IV - daily life, time

ʚ part V - resistance, faith, the ''real'' world

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ

Changing your life can happen faster than you ever possibly imagined, but you first have to understand the basics of who you are. This goes beyond the common saying of “you don’t manifest what you want, you manifest who you are” into a deeper spiritual truth about our existence as souls and a reality far greater than what we see now. Each of us has many probable lives, access to infinite probable realities, and is truly the sole creator for our individual reality.

“First of all, a soul is not something that you have. It is what you are.” – Seth Speaks: The Eternal Validity of the Soul

Resistance

To enter a state is not the most difficult thing. In fact, it should be rather effortless, until the factor of resistance and strain comes in. There is no benefit in affirming or visualizing against how you feel, because the latter will always be the victor. In fact, it only reinforces lack because of avoidance.

“There is a great difference between resisting evil and renouncing it. When you resist evil, you give it your attention; you continue to make it real. When you renounce evil, you take your attention from it and give your attention to what you want.” – Neville Goddard, The Power of Awareness

Since we live in a physical reality, we often identify with the part of us that is responsible for daily activities, and we barely give any thought to the unconscious portion of ourselves that is the basis for creating the experience around us. We rely on our senses to survive and allow the outside world to determine how we feel. However, the concept of us being more than a physical form has been discussed in both scientific and spiritual fields. As you have likely learned from Neville and / or Seth, our consciousness is far more than a production of the neurons in our brain. Our own physical form, which we have so strongly identified with, is just like a custom fitting glove that we are constantly creating to suit our needs. We are in the physical as Gods in training, learning how to use our thoughts to create our human experience. This gift is something we were born with, and although the Law is not common knowledge to most people in this world, the truth about reality and our identity is not hidden. It is displayed in each of our lives on a daily basis, with a perfect correlation between the states we’ve been entertaining and the events that occur.

“However, the understanding of the causes of your experience, and the knowledge that you are the sole creator of the contents of your life, both good and bad, not only make you a much keener observer of all phenomena, but through the awareness of the power of your consciousness, intensify your appreciation of the richness and grandeur of life.” – Neville Goddard, The Power of Awareness

Knowing this perspective of being a fragment of God, it is completely up to us to create anything we desire with our imagination. There are 3D circumstances that seem to hold us back, but if you really think about it, what’s more limitless? The 3D world or your imagination? And which comes first? The imagination. Sometimes we wish things were different, we hope this will change, we wonder if that can happen, but notice how none of these are a solid confidence in your experience now. You are the only one limiting yourself to your 3D circumstances. Breaking free of this mindset can be as simple as remembering who we truly are and what our purpose on Earth is. No one knows what your individual purpose for coming here is, but just as an example, let’s say it’s to learn how to create a long lasting relationship with someone you love because that was something you failed to do in the previous life. You chose this life and consented to your current circumstances as a second try, but when you surrender your mind to what you created in the first place, it’s really just disappointing yourself for a second time when you could’ve taken this opportunity to learn. Now that was just a probable situation, and it doesn’t apply to everyone, but if you accept a new view of life and allow yourself to feel connected to infinite possibilities, doesn’t that sound much easier and more powerful than feeling stranded in a 3D world?

“How many of you would want to limit your reality, your entire reality, to the experience you now know? You do this when you imagine that your present self is your entire personality, or insist that your identity be maintained unchanged through an endless eternity.” – Seth Speaks: The Eternal Validity of the Soul

“It is not that physical reality is false. It is that the physical picture is simply one of an infinite number of ways of perceiving the various guises through which consciousness expresses itself.” – Seth Speaks: The Eternal Validity of Soul

Manifesting is effortless because it’s a decision, not a chore. If you were asked to get from Paris to Tokyo without a plane, that’s gonna take a lot of effort. You were not asked to do so. The key points to making that mental decision effortless is understanding life from a creator’s eyes + playfully using your imagination beneficially + gentle reminders that creation is finished + repeatedly making the same choice for which reality you will experience without trying to change anything in the 3D. As the Seth quote above says, your physical reality is not fake, and it’s actually a misconception to believe so. The people you meet everyday are real human beings with the same feelings and consciousness you have. However, there are many different versions of what you can experience, so your goal is to select something new. Telling yourself that 4D is the only real world and 3D is fake can lead to delusion or inner conflict when everything around you seems so real (which it is), because it could cause a spiral. If your SP left you in this reality, it does not mean that they are a fake puppet who doesn’t have a mind of their own. All it means is that your circumstances are aligned with whatever states you were dominantly entertaining, but you can change that at any moment. People often get confused with how to view the 3D because it gives them the most resistance, which brings them closer to trying rather than effortless manifesting. Your experience is made of internal selections, choices, and decisions. Choosing something better for yourself should be as easy as second nature, because who doesn’t want a better life?

“You must begin to trust yourself sometime. I suggest you do it now. If you do not then you will forever be looking to others to prove your own merit to you, and you will never be satisfied. You will always be asking others what to do, and at the same time resenting those from whom you seek such aid.” – Seth, The Nature of Personal Reality

Everyone who reads Neville and Seth should have come to the realization that we are connected to God / source. There is absolutely no power outside of you that determines your reality, so there’s really no reason for us to trust anyone but ourselves. Seeking outside help for more knowledge is a good start, but ultimately experience and application is the breakthrough moment for most people’s understanding in the Law. Nothing beats the feeling of your first major manifestation coming into fruition and you start thinking what more you can do next. Sometimes the only thing that stops you from seeing manifestation as effortless is having one foot in and one foot out. If you take a step forward but keep looking back at where you were before, then you haven’t really bought the Pearl of Great Price like Neville says. No teacher, book, guide, or video can do the mental work for you. At the end of the day your biggest motivator will and should always be yourself, because you need the drive to change your life.

Faith

When considering the best way to manifest your desires, it’s important to recognize that if you were bound to the 3d limitations of this world, many fundamental concepts such as creation is finished, infinite versions of yourself and others, different probable realities, imagination is not fiction, etc wouldn’t exist. Having an intellectual understanding of these things is not the same as feeling an emotional connection. Since the Law of Assumption places faith in breaking free of limitations and opening our minds to endless possibilities, it would also be helpful to view ourselves from a different perspective.

When people spiral over circumstances or are feeling resistance when doing techniques or returning to the state of the wish fulfilled, it is often because they lack a sense of control. They may view the current situation as solid, or their beliefs are too deeply rooted so they can’t see how the things they put attention on aren’t actually objective facts about reality. They could also feel like they are at a disadvantage, or are unsure of what to do when met with undesirable events because they aren’t finding comfort or confidence in accepting that they are actually the sole creator of their reality.

“Do not judge after the appearances of a thing. In judging after appearances you forget that all things are possible. Hypnotized as they were to the reality of appearances they could not feel the naturalness of sanity. The only way for you to avoid such failures is to constantly bear in mind that your awareness is the Almighty, all-wise presence, who without help, effortlessly out-pictures that which you are aware of being. Be perfectly indifferent to the evidence of the senses, so that you may feel the naturalness of your desire–and your desire will be realized. Turn from appearances and feel the naturalness of perfect sanity and sanity will embody itself. Your desire is the solution of your problem. As the desire is realized, the problem is dissolved.” – Neville Goddard, I Know My Father

Essentially what Neville explains in his teachings is that it is beneficial to live life from “God mode”, or in other words, a perspective where you truly are the only cause for every external materialization in the 3d world. I understand that there are many religious people who also follow manifestation content, and their beliefs may not resonate with saying “I am God”, which is perfectly fine. Ultimately the goal of this perspective is not to claim power for vanity, but to gain confidence and understanding in knowing just because you are a human, it does not mean manifestation is a powerless being trying to do magic tricks to make a miracle happen. When we view the Law as an unbelievable or difficult promise, mental dieting becomes much harder because there is a belief that prevents us from seeing things as attainable, or even effortless and naturally promised to us. The “God mode” perspective is helpful because it allows us to feel more connected with infinite possibilities that easily dissolves doubts and fears surrounding circumstances. Think about it this way, would God worry about being blocked by their person? Would God worry about not passing a job interview or not having enough money? No of course not, so you shouldn’t worry either. What you can gain from the Law of Assumption is fulfillment of your dreams and desires, so aligning your perception of yourself with someone that is easily capable of getting such things will lift a weight off your shoulders.

When you are going about life attending to your daily commitments, it can be easy to forget this perspective, because certainly anyone would look at you weirdly if you claimed “I am God and you are too”, but if you treat this as a playful reminder and an internal understanding that benefits your manifestation, it won’t feel like you’re usurping power. If you are waiting in line at the store or cooking at home and your mind wanders to the unlovely things, observe how you’re viewing yourself. Are you surrendering to physical human senses, or are you taking control by confidently returning to this new perspective?

Resistance is often defined by the emotions and thoughts we have, but if you think about where they come from, the root is always a belief. All circumstances, no matter big or small, are no trouble if you start believing in things that allow you to feel more powerful. You cannot possibly feel upset over something when you know you are connected to God and things will change because you say so. View life from the eyes of God, and your circumstances will reflect that back to you eventually.

Additionally, faith is believing in the unseen. How do you know what is unseen and what is improbable? You need to test it out. People always want to rely on others for motivation and success, but your life is your life. You have full responsibility and control over it, and there’s no excuse for anyone to stop themselves from reaching success because they always want to hear about someone else’s story first. It does not do well to compare or to worry. All the answers you need are within you. Ask yourself before you ask someone else, and learn to give yourself the willpower you need. A leap of faith is not as complicated or scary as it seems. You will gain faith after you realize this works for me, I’ve done it and now I will do it again. Joy from seeing other people’s stories will never be the same as the feeling of winning on your own. It’s understandable to question the Law after a significant period of no results, but ask yourself this question, “Have I truly changed my beliefs?” If the answer is no, then there’s no reason to doubt the Law, because you haven’t met the condition under which your 3D will reflect your desire. If the answer is yes, then that means you believe with full conviction that you already have what you want. With that being the case, then you are someone new. Why would that new version of you question where your results are? The logic of the Law is that you won’t get hurt or disappointed from applying it. Success is inevitable, and if you’re applying it properly, then there’s no reason for you to feel negative anymore.

The ''real'' world

I’m sure many people have wondered at least once in their lifetime what the meaning of life is, why are humans here, and what happens after death. There are curious minds that think about this existential question frequently, and people who don’t care about spirituality and manifestation beyond achieving their own desires. And that’s perfectly fine. People hold different beliefs all around the world. From religious ones to scientific theories, there’s always been a central question of what is the true purpose of our existence. The Law of Assumption is closely tied to metaphysical concepts such as the multiverse theory, cognitive scientific conclusions that studies how the brain / mind alters and shapes our realities, psychological perspectives on emotions and their subjectivity, etc. Manifesting is not a baseless optimistic lifestyle, nor is it confirmation bias. The Seth Material has introduced an extensive and detailed collection of works that explain how we have come to this world to experience life as humans. We are learning and evolving, shaping our realities with our thoughts, beliefs, and expectations. Seth even dives into the afterlife to explain death, afterlife choices, and other planetary existences and communities. He explains our existence:

“I am telling you that you are not a cosmic bag of bones and flesh, thrown together through some mixture of chemicals and elements. I am telling you that your consciousness is not some fiery product, formed merely accidentally through the interworkings of chemical components.” – Seth Speaks: The Eternal Validity of the Soul

For the people who found this material intriguing, some may have come to the realization that the world is quite more complex than what we can perceive right now. It is not to say that spiritual findings and beliefs should take over our daily life and affect our ways of living by completely branching off into a secluded mindset that differs from any other normal social interactions we may have. From my perspective, it’s a proposal that may be beneficial to those who are feeling lost or powerless. To recognize and embrace life as an experiential game of choices rather than an unknown path of challenges is a way to understand effortless manifesting. The most limitless we can be is always within our imagination, because it’s truly a place of possibilities, freedom, and creativity, so enjoy it.

“Suffering is not good for the soul, unless it teaches you how to stop suffering. That is its purpose.” ― Seth Speaks: The Eternal Validity of the Soul

[k-hotchoisan]

mmmmmm been thinkin abt photographer!san right nd he is know for his boudoir photography but his latest client’s got him in a chokehold like god how is she so fuckin sexy nd he can’t focus at all bc fuck all he wants to do is fuck her senseless— HELP

Your wish is my command Angel! Thank you for being patient 😘

As always, enjoy 🩷

snap.

<Choi san x fem!reader>

Synopsis: encouraged by your friend, you give boudoir photography a try after recovering from a break up, you find yourself doing more than just be a model.

Genres/warnings: smut, boudoir photographer!San x model!reader, sexual tension, unprotected sex, cream pies, mention of oral

Taglist: @bro-atz @diamond-3 @mcarebearsstuff @choisansplushie @voicesinmyhead-rc @pre1ttyies

“Boudoir photography?” You reiterate. Your friend nods.

“A friend of a friend of a friend tried it recently and apparently she’s been full of confidence. Her boyfriend adores it too!” Your friend squeals.

You scrunch your eyebrows, wondering how semi-nude photos taken by a professional photographer in this niche would boost one’s confidence.

Your friend’s eyes dart to you again, and then your phone pings. You look at the link your friend sent you. It’s a referral code for a promotion. You turn to her, gaze still dripping with skepticism.

“Come on, just try it. You’re a lovely person and you deserve to see it for yourself! Boudoir photography might really help at not being constantly self critical.”

You weren’t an entirely insecure person, and you were sure of that. It’s just that, after the rough break up with your ex, and seeing them move on instantly (like two fuckin weeks) with a new partner, undoubtedly was a gut punch to your self esteem, while you were still stuck grieving over the lost relationship and wasted time.

You’ve heard of boudoir photography, but you’ve never actually understood the concept of it, considering that it was niche, and that you don’t really know the point of it. You glance down at the referral link before deciding to just fuck it and sign up.

San is working overtime again, meticulously editing and touching up the photos. It’s become a natural part of him to almost be a perfectionist, whether when on the ground taking photos of the model or the post editing process. But he never loses the sight of letting the women shine naturally through their photos. After all, in such a niche market, they picked him. Definitely, he has his mix of male boudoir models, but the women evidently take up a higher ratio. He understands that one of the most important aspects of boudoir photography is trust and comfort with his models, which has them coming back for more sessions, sometimes even with their partners.

Setting up his own business in such a niche market was difficult of course, and he’s grateful that he’s managed to make a name for himself. But sometimes he’s grateful that his good looks are an added bonus to drawing in his clients.

His email pings and it makes him pause his work. Maybe he should finish it tomorrow. San glances at the fresh email that sits in his inbox.

An appointment via referral.

He opens it, and looks through the client’s information. At the bottom box for comments, sits a short question.

[Just wondering, what should I expect for my appointment? Is there anything I should prepare?]

He takes a moment before he drafts a reply.

[Hey there! Nice to meet you. I’m Choi San, boudoir photographer of Woodie’s Studios. First of all, thank you for choosing our studio for your boudoir experience!

Regarding your question, come in with an open mind. For what to wear, you may bring a set of clothes/lingerie of whatever you feel confident in.

I don’t bite, I promise!]

He reads the reply a second time before he hits send. It’s not as if it’s the first time he’s gotten questions like these anyway. His train of concentration is broken, so he decides to call it a night.

You reach the opaque door of a clean-looking studio apartment. The sign has San’s studio name and logo imprinted on it, so you’re sure that you are at the right location.

You press the door bell and it chimes a lovely tune. There is a quiet pause, before the door handle clicks and the door itself pulls back. Before you stood a really, no, an insanely good looking, tall male. His glasses rest loosely on the bridge of his nose as his small eyes meet yours. His brunette hair is slightly messy. He wears an expression of confusion at first, but it turns into something unreadable. You think for a spilt second that he may have gotten the wrong client, but your rationale reminds you that you did send him photos of yourself so he’s able to recognise you. You blink once, then twice because you were starting to get lost at how handsome your photographer was.

“Choi San..?” you say, with a small tilt of your head.

Then it’s his turn to blink, and he snaps out of that small trance he seemed to be caught in for a few seconds. Then a smile tugs at the corner of his lips as he greets you.

“Hey! Y/n right? Sorry, was tryna recognise you. I promise I don’t usually take that long to process”, he chuckles, pulling the door wider as he ushers you in, reminding you to switch out your shoes for the apartment slippers.

The hallway San brings you down is brightly lit and spilt into a couple of sections which you assumed one of them would be the photo studio itself. A couple of posters of pin up girls hang on the walls, all of them beautiful and stunning.

He then stops at a glass door and pushes it, to what you assumed to be his office.

“Make yourself comfortable. I’ll get you a cup of tea. Any preferences?”, he gestures. You shake your head as you let yourself sink into the velvet couch, gingerly leaving your bag of clothing beside you. San gives a polite nod and excuses himself to the pantry.

And the moment the door shuts behind him, he tears his glasses off the bridge of his nose and hooks the branch onto his collar.

His hand is placed over his heart.

San has photographed many different women over the course of his career, some breathtakingly beautiful. But none has ever made his heart skip a beat and caused his words to be stuck at the back of his throat, not like you did. He doesn’t know what has gotten into him. It wasn’t like he didn’t know how you looked like—the pictures you sent served that purpose. Maybe it was the fact that he never expected you to look like that in real life, and for once, he almost doesn’t know how to react. His thoughts are all over the place as he paces into the pantry to prepare your tea. As he’s dipping the tea bag into the piping hot water, he begins feeling self conscious—was his hair too shrivelled? Did he smell bad? Was there something on his face? He tightens his grip on the mug and hastily makes his way back to his office.

San returns, with a smile on his face as he settles the cup onto the coffee table before you, and he joins you, seated on a velvet armchair across you.

“Take your time”, he reassures. “We can start after this, if you’re feeling comfortable, or we can just talk a little to ease your nerves.” It doesn’t take you much to think—you opt for the latter of course.

San laughs and nods. “I get that a lot, especially from first time female clients. It’s valid of course, having a male being your photographer for boudoir can sound off-putting. Perhaps looking at my portfolio might put you slightly at ease?” He reaches out for a large and thick leather-bound photo album. You let it rest on your lap as you receive it with a soft “thank you”, and flip the album open, and you’re instantly awestruck—San’s work spoke for himself. The models were diverse, both in nationalities and body shapes, all equally stunning and sensual in their own expressive ways. The only common denominator was the glint of genuine emotion and confidence reflected in their eyes.

You wonder to yourself—could you look and feel as confident as them? As you skim through the pictures, you feel yourself falling in love with the models as well—their genuine smiles when they do and the gazes they give.

When San catches himself staring at you being absorbed in admiring his portfolios, he feels his cheeks flush and he looks down, wondering what you think of it all.

“I see why you have so many clients. The pictures are gorgeous”, you say, shutting the photo album and handing it back to him. San flashes a sheepish smile and mutters a “thank you” loud enough for you to hear. The silence in the room remains a for awhile as you sip the tea, letting it calm your nerves. You don’t even know it but the person with actual jittery nerves was San himself, a feeling that he never expected to feel since the last time he did was when he started out this business three years ago.

“So… what’s the goal of being a boudoir model, if you don’t mind me asking? Like was it a long time thing you wanted to try or was it something spontaneous?” He asks to break the silence.

“I broke up with my ex recently”, you respond curtly, before taking another sip of the tea. Damn, this is some good ass tea. San blinks at your reply, unsure of what to make out of the bluntness. Before he attempts to reply, you continue, “and my friend sent me a referral to your studio, and I thought to myself, why not? I want to feel confident in my own skin. Also, I think it’s an interesting way of self exploration.” Your gaze meets his, and it’s his turn to look awestruck. You try to ignore the flutter in your chest when he laughs softly, when his smile reaches his eyes. It’s the way that he’s confident of his craft, and it’s making you warm up to him even more.

Your fingertips tap on the mug softly. Your gaze lands on the photobook once more.

“Does taking such risqué pictures affect you when you first started out?” You ask before taking another sip. San ponders about the question for awhile. He has people asking him that before, but for some reason, he wants to be slightly more transparent with you.

“I don’t see about my clients in a sexual way, even if they physically look appealing to me. In the end, self confidence and comfort always comes first, and I think that’s what I enjoy seeing in my clients when they become more comfortable in their own skin. People don’t understand how difficult it is to fully love yourself”, he replies.

That’s when you understand why San’s photography studio had so many recurring clients.

“Why boudoir? I think sensuality and intimacy is a form of art. It’s beautiful—watching people discover parts of themselves they never knew existed and falling in love. You don’t have to be conventionally attractive to be a boudoir model.

The money’s good, of course, but the satisfaction of watching my clients giving me feedback of them realising they deserve to love themselves more, or discovering other sides of themselves is nothing short of rewarding.”

By the time he’s done explaining, you feel a rush of confidence in yourself. It’s only been about ten minutes since the both of you just sat and talked, but you see that he definitely prioritises your comfort before he even begins the sessions. You ball your fingers into a fist, meeting San’s gaze with determination, telling him, “I think I’m ready.”

San’s eyes brighten up. “Great! You can use the bathroom to the left, and I’ll meet you at the photo studio just opposite the office.” He stands up, opening the door for you, and you bow slightly in courtesy as you head to the washroom to change. San’s heart beats faster, wondering what you’re gonna wear for the shoot.

San is fixing the sheets of the bed, then the studio lights at the perfect angle he wants it to be. His heart is still racing as he walks over to the tripod, glancing over at the door from time to time, awaiting for your arrival.

He perks up when he sees you walk in with a bathrobe on and he greets you cheerfully again, trying to hide his excitement.

You wave back with a smile, letting the environment of the photo studio sink in. The basic package for first timers consisted of a bed shoot, so it’s no surprise you see a bed in the middle of the room, covered in white. The bed looks comfy and you giggle to yourself, wondering if you’d end up falling asleep mid-shoot from how nice the bed looks.

“Anytime you’re ready”, San reminds you, carrying the tripod in one hand, his biceps flexing as he does, and it makes you blush slightly, which was ridiculous. Why are you swooning over your handsome photographer carrying the tripod with one arm? Suddenly you’re self conscious again, your fingers clutching against the black bathrobe. It was frustrating that you couldn’t pinpoint exactly what was making you nervous, but you weren’t about to back out.

San continues to adjust his camera on the tripod, and his gaze absentmindedly shifts towards you, and his breath gets stuck in his throat, watching you undress from the bathrobe, revealing a white button up over black lace lingerie. It’s not anything new, but for some reason he can’t seem to tear his eyes off you—the way the panties hugs your hips and the bra cups your breasts, the garter belt hugging your waist and the straps hanging past your panties. He watches you climb onto the bed, eyes shutting briefly as you sink into the mattress with a soft smile.

He’s not confident that he’s able to last through the shoot, not when you’re looking like that.

“Is it too cold here?” San asks, trying to divert his attention from his perverse thoughts. You pop up from the sheets, the collars of the shirt slipping past your shoulders, obviously too big for you. That does nothing to help him with his thoughts.

“No, I think the temperature’s okay. Shall we get started?” You ask, buttoning up your shirt, the white material pathetically sheer that San is able to see the black bra peeking through.

The sight of you in an oversized shirt on, with no pants, just your underwear on is like a meal for San’s eyes. He hides behind the camera to hide his flushing cheeks, only to face your body through the viewfinder, watching you preparing to pose as you position yourself at the end of the bed, turning your body slightly to the side with one leg up, your thighs in full view, with the sleeves of the shirt covering most of your fingers, and your gaze right into the camera lens.

San takes a deep breath. Forty five minutes. He can do this.

“Sure. Ready whenever you are, y/n.”

It turns out to be a very agonising forty five minutes. While the both of you were cracking jokes during the shoot, San finds himself getting more distracted when you gradually remove your shirt, and when your poses grow ever more risqué—at one point you remove your bra and fit your shirt over again, which definitely made San grow very restless when he’s unable to tear his eyes away from your bare chest.

Midway through the shoot, all that swarms his mind is wondering how your body would feel against his, how your bare skin would feel under his hands, what kind of faces you would make when you’re under him.

What kind of noises you would make for him when he fits his cock right into you. He wants to fuck you so hard that your mind goes blank—so good that you’ll never remember your ex.

San blinks, his finger still on the shutter button. He doesn’t know what washed over him, but what he does know is the taut feeling in his pants, and he internally heaves a sigh of relief that he decided to wear cargo pants. Nonetheless, he hopes that it isn’t obvious. Well, it shouldn’t be, as long as you don’t ask for close up shots.

“San! Could you come closer for my close ups?” You call out, letting the collar of your shirt fall off your shoulder once more, revealing your bare shoulders, and reminding him that you were still braless underneath the loose clothing article.

Fuck.

San forces a smile, unlatching his camera and trying to walk normally without letting his erection steal your attention.

He reaches to where you are, reminding himself to stay professional, but when he meets your playful gaze, all he wants to do is pin you down. Your eyes twinkle with allure as you prepare your next pose. You get it now—the confidence that slowly trickles into you after every photo taken. You’ve never realised that you had this side of yourself, not until now, and you love it.

The close up shots only spell another layer of doom for San—he adores the budding confidence that you exude, but it makes it even harder for him to hold back, watching you make sultry expressions and poses close up. Through the viewfinder, his eyes try to focus on taking the photo but he finds himself being entranced by your stare. He counts down, then taking a few shots, not missing the growing smile you had.

San puts his camera away, reaching forward to your face to remove a stray hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear, and his touch is warm on your face. It’s then you realise how physically close San is to you—you smell his cologne and it leaves your mind blank for a spilt second. He’s absorbed in fixing your hair, combing the strays off your face, the sound of his quiet breathing the only thing you hear. You look away, wondering if your heartbeat is loud enough for him to hear, and you hope it isn’t. San gives you a soft smile when his eyes finally meet yours.

He pulls back, preparing to take his camera for the next shot, but his leg gets tangled in the sheets.

Everything happens in a spilt second—his knee that shifts forward at first, pressing against the sheet that has unknowingly tangled around his other leg, then San trying to get up quickly with the tangled leg, realising a little too late by the time he falls right onto the bed.

Right onto you.

He almost squishes you. Almost. But he lands above you, supported by his elbows just in time before his body is in contact with yours.

Your heart races, way too quick for you to even process what just occurred. All knew you was:

One; San is right above you,

Two; his lips are hovering over yours,

Three; you feel something pressing against your pelvis.

And San stares down at you, his heart beating in his ears. He takes in the sight of you below him—eyes looking up at him through fluttered lashes, your heat radiating against his skin, your lips slightly parted in surprise.

As well as the strain in his pants when his eyes instinctively lower to your bare chest, your nipples peeking through your shirt, and that his little problem is just resting right on you.

“I’m sorry”, San whispers, breaking the silence that had hung between the both of you. “This usually doesn’t happen…”

You crack an amused smile. “Usually?”you reiterate teasingly. A tint of red flushes San’s cheeks and his clothed erection presses harder against your bare skin, and it makes you bite your lip.

“Fuck. I mean, this never happens. It’s just.. I’ve never felt this way about my boudoir models…”, he trails off. “I think you’re fucking stunning since you entered the studio, and I think you’re even more stunning now.”

Your heart flutters at his confession and this time, you feel yourself blush. A soft laugh escapes from the male above you when he sees you avoid eye contact from the shyness. His strings of rationale—yelling at him to stay professional—is snapping. He’s not lying. He’s never felt so attracted to any of his models before, until you, and now that he has you trapped under him, he doesn’t want to lose that chance.

“Should we end the session here?” San asks, with a quick glance at your pretty red lips.

Your fingers are playing with the dangling silver chain that he wears. He lets you, waiting for your response before he catches your gaze dances back to meet his again. Your hands shift to caress San’s jaw, and he takes it as a sign to make his move. You inhale softly as you feel his lips press onto yours, and it makes your head spin with glee. He tastes so heavenly, and your legs clench at the feeling that flutters between your thighs.

San slightly presses his body weight onto you, his erection only growing harder against your thigh. But it looks like he’s taking his time.

His fingertips warm your skin, and he lets them slip up your body, until he’s at your chest, barely covered by the sheer cotton material. His thumbs grazes against your nipples, and you gasp in between open mouthed kisses. You feel him smile, and he applies pressure, and the sensation goes right to your pussy.

He pulls back, watching your lip stick smudged, and your eyes dilate. You can’t help but feel entranced by San, and now you’re wondering how his face would look like when he falls apart.

And it makes you excited.

San lulls you back from your thoughts when you feel his lips suck softly against your neck, and now your fingers are playing with his soft locks of hair.

He’s slightly embarrassed at the way he’s growing even harder when he gingerly peels the white shirt away. His hands cup your bare tits, and he lowers himself to your left tit, giving it a couple of hungry licks and sucks, leaving your back arching and your mouth agape from how ticklish his tongue feels as he flicks your nipple. He doesn’t neglect the other nipple, giving it the same attention as he relishes in the way you fall apart for him. When he has his fun of sucking and making sure your nipples swell while you moan and tug his hair, he pulls away.

He sits up, pulls his shirt over his head and you’re left drooling at how chiseled his body looks. San unbuttons his pants and yanks it off, alongside his boxers, and you watch with awe as his cock springs out—hard and heavy against his abdomen. Your panties are tugged off you in no time, and you don’t miss the way his cock twitches when his eyes land on your slick covered cunt.

“You’re gonna be the death of me”, you hear him mutter before he collides his lips against yours once more. You squeal when you feel his fingers press onto your clit, giving it small rubs, watching and soaking your reactions—your whines and whimpers. There is a dull buzz in your mind every time your bundle of nerves get stimulated, and it builds up in your tummy.

“Oh god, you’re getting even wetter”, he sighs, his fingers completely soaked.

“It feels good. So good. Keep doing that”, you whisper, your fingers pressing against his arm. Your moans only grow louder as San picks up the speed on rubbing your clit, and it’s sending you over the edge way quicker than you wanted to.

San lowers himself to your head, and his husky voice vibrates in your ears.

“That’s it, keep coming undone. Let your mind shut off. You look so fucking beautiful like that.”

“San, San, fuck. I’m gonna cum. Oh fuck-“

Your eyes roll back as your orgasm washes over you, your body tensing as pleasure becomes the only thing you know. You barely catch onto the dirty things San is telling you, but you know he’s encouraging you to cum on his fingers like a good girl.

He makes sure he has your orgasm drawn out as long as possible, your mind completely blown out at that point. San sucks off your arousal on his fingers, before giving his cock a few pumps.

“You taste like heaven, babe. I’ll get a taste of that cunt soon, but right now, I really can’t wait”, San huffs, trying to keep himself composed as he slowly fucks his hand.

“San, hurry up, please. I need you, so fucking bad”, you whine, your fingers pulling your wet folds open for him.

His breathing goes heavy at your words. “Damn, the shoot really got you heated,” San teases.

“I can’t help it if my photographer makes me wet”, you reply with a playful smile.

Something seems to snap in San when he hears that—all he’s thinking about is wanting to drive his cock so deep into you that your mind completely blanks out.

So that’s what he does.

San lines up his cock to your entrance and pushes and inch in. His eyes dart to your face, licking the bottom of his lip when he watches your face contort into pleasure. His hands stroke your thighs as he pushes in a couple more inches, soaking in your broken moans as he stretches you out. He forces himself to stay composed despite the fact that you’re squeezing him with your warm and soft walls.

He manages to bury himself right to the hilt and he gasps at how perfectly fitted his cock is in you, an uncontrollable moan escaping his lips when he feels you convulse around his cock.

“San, you’re so big. I’m so filled”, you whimper through glazed eyes, his cock completely cutting off other senses as your thighs tremble. A smile tugs at his lips.

“I’m gonna fuck you now, pretty”, San tells you. Despite that, he waits for your green signal before he pulls out and drives his cock right into you.

Your mind switches off the moment his cock is fucking your pussy, because that’s all that matters. It’s so good. So fucking good.

His hands slither to your wrists, and has them pinned over your head as his cock pistons into you. You swear he’s driving you to be cock dumb by the end of this, but not like you fucking minded anyway.

“Look at you. Growing stupid over my cock already. So fucking adorable.”

You only nod in reply, biting your lip as his cock continues to render you speechless. Now San has completely flooded into the smallest crooks of your mind. San has his mind blank, his eyes darting from your fucked out expression to your bouncing tits.

Your cunt flutters once again and tears are pooling at the corner of eyes. The sounds of wet skin slapping echo around the studio.

“…wanna touch you”, you mutter. Despite the face that you loved that he was holding you down, you are feeling desperate to feel his skin as you dance on the fence of your orgasm. San releases your wrists, and he props himself better as he continues to pound into you, hitting the soft, spongy spot over and over again when he has your legs folded. When his pulls out, his cock is covered in a creamy mess. His head spins and his ego inflates at the thought him being the one who drove you to this point of mind blanking pleasure.

“No, no, I’m gonna cum again. So good. San!” His name leaving your lips as a whine. Your hands are gripping onto the loose unbuttoned sleeves of your shirt. His hands take yours and places them on his on his sides, and he groans at the way you’re clawing him.

“Shit. Fuck!” San curses when you cream on his cock even more on top of your walls hugging him tightly. You let go on his cock with a pleasured sob, legs twitching.

It’s not long before a long drawn out moan San releases as his warm cum completely floods your tight hole. He swears he wants to keep his cock tucked in your pussy because it feels that fucking good.

His face—oh, his fucking face when he orgasms. You barely recover from your second orgasm to watch San fall apart while he empties in your pussy, and it almost drives you to your third orgasm. Almost.

The both of you remain still for a moment, only breathing filling in the silence. Then, San slowly pulls out, watching the way his cum leaks out of your abused hole.

San pulls back, and he realises that he’s never seen a more beautiful sight—you, splayed out in nude, only covered by a measly white shirt that inevitably drives him crazy, with cum leaking out of your pretty hole while your body twitches against the white sheets.

He thinks that it’s a pity that his camera is out of reach, because it’s such a beautiful shot.

You glance at San with a shy smile as he hands you your panties. He hooks the your legs into the panties and pulls it up to your hips. You feel another load stain your panties while your thighs twitch.

San dresses himself quickly and extends his arm for you to take as he leads you off the bed. He knows he’s got extra work to wash the sheets but that’s the least of his worries.

What throws you off is when he pulls you into his arms and kisses your temple.

“I promise I’ve never done to any of my clients”, he reiterates.

“Unprofessional”, you tease, your hands sneaking up his shirt.

“Can’t fucking help it. I never knew fucking an Angel in my studio would be this exhilarating. It makes the thought of washing the bedsheets bearable”, he teases back, letting his fingers tangle in your hair.

Your mind goes completely blank when he tells you to wash out the loads in you, so he’ll fill you up once more when he brings you home, which earns him a slap on the chest. He gestures you to go change up, watching the way you remove your shirt to reveal your bare back, and he makes a mental note to start fucking you from behind.

And back at his place, he does. His eyes are hyper focused on the way your ass bounces on his cock. A loud slap reverberates in his room followed by a whimper.

He stills in you, spilling his load once more into your abused cunt as you cream all over him once again.

Then he has you wrapped up in his arms, peppering you with kisses as you’re teetering off your high.

“Stay over, won’t you?”, San requests, tucking a lock of hair behind your ears. You’re beginning to feel completely enamoured by the male. You nod as you melt into his arms.

San thinks it’s ridiculous how hard and fast he fell for you, but he’s confident that you’re his favourite model, ever.

[dreamwritesimagines]

The Eye of the Hurricane [32]- Back Alley

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback, you made my day! ❤️I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think! ❤️

Summary: Business partners don’t have to be friendly.

Word Count: 3100

Pairing: MobBoss!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Warnings: Violence, guns, crime, blood, explicit language, dysfunctional relationship, mentions of sex. This is an AU, friendly reminder that I don’t condone any of the actions depicted on this story and please read with care.

Series Masterlist

You were beginning to think that the divorce clause in your prenup was going to come in handy any day now.

Granted you and Bucky had a deal, and you did trust him to hold up his end of the deal but he hadn’t spoken to you, or spared you as much as a glance for almost a week now so you were slowly getting lost in your anxious thoughts.

It was one thing when you were giving him an attitude but him acting like you didn’t even exist?

That flat out made your chest ache.

“Here you go,” Clint’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts as he put the file in front of you and you looked up at him, then smiled slightly.

“Thank you.”

“Oh no, thank you,” he said with a huff of laughter. “Rhett is an asshole, I’m glad you’re taking over.”

“He’s not so bad,” you muttered, opening the file to skim the page, then let out a small laugh. “But yeah. I could’ve told you he would reject this even if I offered it to him.”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Not enough profit on his end,” you muttered, shuffling through the pages. “And he wants to see every plan you have, A to Z.”

Clint heaved a sigh, shaking his head.

“Well as I said, I’m glad you’re taking over,” he said and sat up straighter. “Nat will back you up, you know?”

You hummed, still focused on the page. “In the deal?”

“As the heir.”

That made your head snap up and you blinked at him in silence for a couple of seconds. He seemed almost entertained at your puzzlement as he leaned back on his seat behind his desk, and shrugged his shoulders.

“She talked to me too.”

You licked your lips. “And?”

“You won’t even try to feed me some bullshit about respecting your father’s chosen heir?”

“Depends,” you said. “Do you respect my father’s chosen heir?”

He let out a chuckle and held up his hands.

“He has done nothing to earn my respect,” he said. “I was willing to give him a chance—I did give him a chance and he fucked it up, as you know.”

You crossed your legs, keeping your gaze on him.

“Arthur is a legend in our line of work,” he said. “He’s the main reason why we have the truce now. That’s why I don’t understand how he made all the right choices up until the choice of heir because that…Y/N, that’s your right. I’m glad you’re making your move now.”

You pursed your lips.

“I’m not sure if it’ll be enough to make him reconsider.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he said. “You have Bucky in your corner, Steve and Sam and Nat as well, and I’m planning on supporting you the minute your name comes up.”

You weren’t so sure about Bucky being in your corner at the moment but you still smiled at him. “Thanks Clint.”

“So the only one left is…”

“Tony,” you said. “He doesn’t trust me.”

“He doesn’t trust Ian either.”

“No but he trusts my father,” you admitted. “He may not like Ian but he isn’t going to go against that decision.”

He hummed, drumming his fingertips on the desk.

“Nat and I will talk to him,” he said. “Let’s see if he changed his mind in the light of these recent developments. Just one question though.”

“Hm?”

“If your father doesn’t change his mind,” he said. “Will you take it from Ian anyway?”

That was a difficult question.

If it were Steve or Sam asking you this, you could answer it truthfully but you didn’t know Clint as well as you knew them. You had no idea if it was a bait, so whatever answer you gave him could change his opinion about backing you up, so you bit inside your cheek, deep in thought.

“I…” you trailed off. “I’m not going to start a war, but I’m not just going to lie back and take it if Ian does. I doubt anyone else would either.”

Clint nodded his head slowly.

“You two are always going to be a threat to each other, he knows that,” he muttered. “He’s an idiot, but not that much of an idiot.”

You shifted your weight on your seat, nibbling on your lip.

“Mm hm.”

“And you do realize that one of you will have to kill the other to get to the top?”

That made your jaw clench before you nodded your head, trying your hardest to ignore the churning in your stomach.

“Nat said the same thing.”

“Because she knows how it goes,” he said. “Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

You paused only for a moment, an image of you pulling the trigger flashing before your eyes before you smiled at him.

“Sure,” you said. “If it comes down to that, yeah. I’m ready.”

                                                 *

“I don’t understand what the problem is, your whole relationship with Bucky has been nothing but a fight so far,” Becca said as she handed you and Sarah your coffee cups. “I wouldn’t say it’s too big of a deal.”

“We’ve never had a fight like this though,” you muttered and turned to Sarah. “What do you think?”

Sarah shot you a sympathetic smile. “I don’t think it was the best call to hide Rhett from him until that meeting.”

You let out a whine, slipping a little in your seat. “I had a reason!”

“Which was?”

“I didn’t—I—” you stammered. “I didn’t want him to go behind my back and make that deal himself, obviously!”

Sarah and Becca exchanged glances before they turned to you.

“And you think Bucky,” Sarah started. “Bucky who’s been trying to push you to the top ever since you told him you wanted to be the heir would do that?”

“Yeah well, forgive me if I can’t trust mob bosses,” you muttered. “My dad said he wanted me to be the heir, and then what did he do? He took it away from me. I’m not going to let Bucky do that as well, that plan has been in motion for years now, I put in the effort—”

“Should I just text Bucky you have daddy issues and be done with this nonsense?” Becca asked and your jaw dropped.

“I do not have daddy issues!” you insisted. “Sarah, tell her!”

“Your picture comes up when I google daddy issues,” Sarah said with a shrug of her shoulders, making your jaw drop.

“Sarah!”

“I mean if we look at it from Bucky’s perspective, he does have a point in feeling betrayed.”

Your stomach did a painful flip and you took a deep breath, throwing your shoulders back.

“Well you are my best friends so we’re not looking at it from his perspective,” you told Becca, making her let out a small laugh, holding her hands up to gesture surrender while Sarah sipped her coffee.

“Does he at least know you and Rhett had a full on relationship?”

“Was it that bad?”

“It wasn’t good,” you sulked while you and Isla walked out of the building. “I swear if I fail the midterm…”

“You won’t fail,” she assured you and you let out a groan, but then stopped dead on your tracks when your eyes fell on Rhett who was leaning against his jet black car on the other side of the road. A smile curled your lips and you turned to Isla.

“Um—”

“Go ahead,” she said with a wink. “I have to find Bradley anyway.”

“Tell him I said hi!” you called out, already running to Rhett and you threw yourself into his arms, making him chuckle before he lifted you up to sit you down on the hood of the car, his lips claiming yours. You heaved a sigh when he pulled back, then smiled up at him brightly.

“Hi!” you said, your fingers brushing over his curly hair. “I thought you had a meeting!”

“The meeting finished early.”

You tilted your head, pulling your brows together.

“Oh you got rid of him?” you asked. “What was he, a mole?”

He gave you a reprimanding look. “Not in public, baby.”

You rolled your eyes at him, making him chuckle as he squeezed your thigh, still his other hand resting against the hood beside you, caging you in while you fixed your skirt.

“Do you have plans for tonight?”

Rhett hummed. “I have a plan that includes you and a bed, does that count?”

You let out a giggle, pecking him on the lips.

“There’s this party for the end of the midterms,” you said. “Do you want to come with me?”

“There’s no way I’m leaving you alone at a party,” he stated. “Sure thing, I can tag along.”

“Yay!”

“Before that though, have you—” he started but his phone started vibrating in his pocket. He pulled it out, and took it to his ear.

“Yeah?” he asked while you absentmindedly pulled his gun out of his waistband to check the magazine, humming a song to yourself. “Yeah, no, I had to cut the meeting short. Our usual guys are dealing with the clean up.”

You counted the bullets, then slid the magazine back to its place while Rhett stroked his thumb over your knee, coaxing another giggle out of you.

“Great, thanks,” he said and hung up, making you look up at him as he took the gun from you.

“You’re missing a bullet.”

“It’s inside a guy’s skull as we speak,” he muttered, leaning in to brush his lips against yours and you cupped his cheek, heaving a sigh when he pulled back.

“Have you eaten yet?”

“I had like three energy drinks,” you said as he tilted his head to shoot you a look. “What, it’s the midterms week!”

“Let’s have lunch in bed.”

“I don’t think that’s a thing, Rhett.”

“Should be a thing,” he mused, dragging his fingertips up your leg, making you swat at his hand.

“We’re in public!” you reminded him, making him chuckle. “Anyways, what are we eating then?”

“You’re eating whatever you want and I’m eating you out.”

You tried to ignore the fire spreading over your face as your jaw dropped.

“Very romantic—” you started but you were cut off when his phone started vibrating again, making him grit his teeth before answering.

“What, dickhead?” he snapped at whoever it was on the phone. “I’m with my girl, the fuck do you want?”

“Be nice!” you whispered to him and he shook his head slightly.

“Yeah Lucas, he knows,” he said. “I called him before I called the clean up guys. Can you handle your shit or should I come there and hold your hand?”

You raised your brows as he hung up the phone, then turned to you.

“Sorry about that baby.”

“No problem,” you said “So that was Lucas on the phone?”

“Mm hm,” he said. “He wants to know if my dad knows about how the meeting ended. Anyways, as I was saying—”

“You do realize he wants your position?”

That made him pause and he frowned. “What?”

“Lucas,” you said, leaning back on your palms. “He wants your position as the prince of Chicago and he will try to stab you in the back.”

His eyes searched yours before he scoffed a laugh.

“Lucas is as loyal as a dog,” he said. “What makes you think that?”

“He glares at you the way my cousin glares at me,” you pointed out. “Whenever you’re not looking.”

His frown deepened and he thought for a moment, then shook his head.

“Nah,” he brushed it off. “No way. As I said, loyal as a dog.”

“But Rhett, your position—”

“The only position I care about right now is the one I’ll put you in when we get to my place,” he muttered to your lips with a smirk, making you giggle before he stole a kiss. “Come on. We’re leaving.”

“It didn’t come up,” you muttered. “Besides, it isn’t as if we were serious.”

“You kind of were.”

“Debatable.”

“You need to tell him,” Sarah insisted, making you turn your cup in your palms just to distract yourself. “It’s better than Rhett telling him, no?”

“I guess,” you said. “I just don’t think he likes me nowadays.”

Becca rolled her eyes.

“You two need to start actually talking to each other.”

You huffed out a breath, then sipped your coffee.

“I mean we have the therapist appointment,” you said. “Which, I don’t even know if he will show up but…”

“You are feeding false information to the therapist,” Sarah reminded you as if trying to help you. “Try to talk to each other truthfully, maybe?”

You clicked your tongue, turning the cup between your palms.

“Yeah,” you murmured. “Can’t hurt to try I guess.”

                                         *

The therapist appointment was uncomfortable to say at the very least. Bucky kept quiet for the most of it despite Dr. Raynor’s efforts to include him in the conversation, and the answers he gave her were pretty curt, so it came as a no surprise when Dr. Raynor put her notebook aside.

“I’m sensing a tension?” she said, motioning between you two while Bucky bounced his leg, his gaze darting to the clock on the wall before returning to her.

“We’ve had a disagreement,” you said, making him grit his teeth.

“Y/N.”

“We’re in a therapy session and you haven’t talked to me for the last week,” you said. “Might as well.”

“You haven’t talked to each other for the last week?”

“I did try,” you defended yourself and Bucky crossed his arms, keeping his eyes on the table.

“Bucky?”

“I have nothing to say.”

“Don’t do that!” you insisted. “You’re angry at me for some reason—”

“For some reason?” he asked, his voice full of disbelief. “Are you serious right now?”

“What happened?” Dr. Raynor asked and you licked your lips, then sat up straighter.

“We’re going to make a deal with a business partner,” you said. “Bucky is angry because I know him.”

“No Y/N, I’m angry because despite us having a deal, you went behind my back.”

“I didn’t go behind your back,” you protested. “Not sharing every single detail with you isn’t going behind your back.”

“You knowingly kept me out of the loop and that’s not going behind my back?” he asked and you threw your hands up.

“Bucky—”

“Do you feel like Y/N betrayed your trust, Bucky?”

Your jaw dropped as you looked at Dr. Raynor. “Excuse me?”

“Yeah actually,” Bucky said. “We had a deal and it turns out she’s had all these plans that she didn’t let me know about. Including knowing the guy—which by the way, you never did tell me how you know him.”

Your heart skipped a nervous beat and you let out a breath. “I don’t think it’s the place for it.”

“I disagree, you were the one who started it,” Bucky said. “So? How?”

You bit inside your cheek, then cleared your throat, motioning vaguely. “We used to date.”

Bucky gawked at you for a couple of seconds in complete silence before a dry laugh climbed up his throat and he ran a hand over his face.

“You used to date,” he said, dragging the tip of his tongue over his lip. “Of course…”

“That’s not even relevant—”

“Oh it’s very relevant,” Bucky cut you off, glaring at you. “What he—he still loves you or something? That’s why he’ll say yes to the deal? Because he thinks he has a shot?”

“Wh—no!” you exclaimed. “Do you hear yourself right now? It’s completely irrelevant!”

“Says you.”

“In case it has escaped your notice, we’re married, dickhead!”

“Alright, let’s calm down,” Dr. Raynor said but neither of you spared her a look.

“How is it irrelevant that the guy you used to date happens to only want to talk to you or make a deal with you?”

“Because I made sure that he trusts me!”

“Yeah?” he provoked you. “And how did you do that?”

 “By being good at this fucking job, how do you think?” you snapped back but before Bucky could retort, Dr. Raynor cleared her throat.

“Let’s continue this conversation in our next appointment,” she said and Bucky scoffed, then stood up to walk out of the office. You smiled at Dr. Raynor, standing up as well.

“See you next week, Dr. Raynor,” you said and went after Bucky, only catching up with him when you stepped outside.

“Bucky!” you called out and he turned around to give you a quizzical look. You licked your lips and stepped closer to him, not even sparing a glance at the bodyguards waiting for him by his car.

“Do you mind?” you asked him, nodding at the nearest back alley and he looked like he would say no, but he still followed you there. You took a deep breath and crossed your arms, looking up at him.

“I was going to tell you about me and Rhett,” you said and he let out a dry chuckle.

“Yeah,” he said, putting his hands in his pockets. “Sure.”

“What, you don’t trust me?”

“I trust you as much as you trust me,” he pointed out, making you swallow thickly.

“Don’t be like that,” you muttered. “First you ignore me for a week and now—”

“I’m not ignoring you.”

Even you were aware of the petulant tone in your voice; “You’ve barely looked my way since the sit down!”

“I will talk to you when I have something to talk to you about.”

“If you’re expecting an apology—”

“Oh I know you better than that,” he cut you off. “Is that all or do you need anything else? I’m going to be late to my meeting.”

“Stop fucking treating me like one of those mob wives,” you growled and he shrugged his shoulders.

“I’m not,” he said. “I told you. I’m treating you like a business partner. That’s what you said you wanted, isn’t it?”

You gritted your teeth, glaring up at him in silence and he had the audacity to give you a dry smile.

“Great. See you at home.”

He walked away from you and soon you heard the car driving off. You let out a furious breath, then leaned back to the wall, closing your eyes for a moment before opening them again.

“Very well then,” you muttered to yourself and got your phone out of your pocket, then found the name in your contacts. Your heartbeat sped up as your finger hovered over the screen, but you took a deep breath, touched it and took the phone to your ear.

It only rang once.

“Finally,” the familiar drawl reached you. “I was beginning to think you wouldn’t call sweetheart.”

You could feel the smile curling your lips.

“Hi Rhett,” you said. “Do you have a moment?”

Chapter 33

[sunny44]

Co-parenting (Part 3)

Pairing: Carlos Sainz x ex!reader

Warnings: medical center, cuts…

Summary: Co-parenting is never easy but y/n never thought it would be so hard.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Max and I haven't been able to go on that date yet. The first time, he had to cancel because he had to go to Milton Keynes for a meeting, and the second time, I had to cancel because Maeve and I got sick and I didn't want to go and risk getting him sick too.

But after several weeks we finally managed to schedule a day, and it would be today. Maeve is going to spend the whole weekend with Carlos, which would be great because even if he hadn't, I would keep my promise to introduce them only if it was someone I knew would stay in my life longer.

But he was late, and I was getting nervous because I had asked Carlos to pick her up at seven because Max would come to pick me up at seven-thirty. And besides not wanting Carlos to see him, obviously, I didn't want Maeve to see him either.

I heard knocks on the door and ran there to see Carlos.

"I know, I know, I'm late and I'm sorry. I had to wait for the plumber to fix a pipe that was flooding my apartment and he was late, and then I got stuck in traffic, and..."

"It's okay, just hurry up." I shouted for Maeve to come quickly and handed him the backpacks.

"Why the rush and why are you all dressed up?"

At that moment, Max parked, and I panicked. He got out of the car and was smiling until he saw Carlos and stopped smiling.

"Why is he here?" I didn't know what to say. "Are you going out with him? Is that why you wanted me to leave quickly? So that I wouldn't see you going out with Verstappen?"

"It's not because of that."

"Then why?" I didn't say anything. "Answer my fucking question."

"I didn't want Maeve to see, okay? Because I stick to our agreements, she doesn't need to know that I'm going out with someone, and neither do you."

"But why him?"

"Because he invited me and I wanted to." He laughed. "Look, I don't have to give you any explanations. Focus on taking care of our daughter and I’ll deal with my live life ok?" At that moment, she appeared.

"Sorry, I couldn't find Mr. Bibbles." She said, hugging her stuffed rabbit. "Can we go Daddy?"

"Yes baby." He picked her up, and they went to the front, and luckily Max had returned to his car when Carlos passed with Maeve in his arms.

"I'm sorry; I didn't know he would be here."

"It's okay, he was supposed to arrive earlier but got delayed. Neither you nor he were supposed to see each other.”

“You didn’t want him to know that you were going out with me?”

“Carlos and I have an agreement about relationships and I didn’t want him nor Maeve to know about it right now.”

"What kind of agreement?"

“We don't introduce anyone to Maeve without the other being aware, and not with a short amount of time in the relationship, you know? We don't want to put someone in her life just for that person to leave without explanation."

"I understand."

"Our separation was amicable but also difficult; she was small and doesn't remember, but she doesn't quite understand why her friends at school have parents together and she's the only one who doesn't."

"It's okay, you don't need to explain to me." He says kindly. "I can imagine how difficult it is to raise a child, and I also understand what it's like to be the child of divorced parents; I know you're doing the best you can for her."

"Thank you."

"Well, shall we go to our date? They say the third time's the charm." I laughed and went inside to grab my purse and my phone, locked the house and went to his car.

...

The date was great; he made me laugh a lot, and I hadn't had that much fun in a long time.

I felt light, and I felt like I could be myself without being defined only as Carlos's ex or as a mother; I could be myself again.

"Just a minute." My phone started ringing, and I saw it was Carlos. "Hello?"

"I'm sorry; I took my eyes off her for 1 minute, and..." I immediately got up.

"What happened?"

"Maeve and I are at the hospital."

"Which hospital?" I grabbed my purse and started walking towards the exit, and Max came along.

…

“What happened?"

"She was on the couch with me watching a movie and she asked me for a juice box when I went to get it, she started jumping on the couch and when I heard a loud noise, I went back, and she had fallen and hit her head on the table." He spoke quickly. "I'm really sorry; I..."

"It's okay."

"It's not; she cut her head and had to get stitches. I'm a terrible father."

"Carlos, stop." He looked at me. "These things happen; kids jump on things, they fall, and they get hurt, so stop blaming yourself."

"I was just so scared, and..." I hugged him.

"It's okay, everything will be fine." He hugged me back and relaxed. "What did the doctor say?"

"That it wasn't anything serious and that I did the right thing by bringing her as soon as possible; it could have been worse if she had fallen asleep after hitting her head."

"Okay, let's go in." He went in, and I turned to Max. "I'm sorry for ruining our night."

"You didn't ruin anything; our night was perfect."

"Except when I switched back to mom mode."

"Your daughter got hurt, and you did what any worried mother would do."

"Thank you for bringing me here too."

"You're welcome." He smiled. "I would love to go out again. If you want, of course."

"I would love to. I'll send you a message, and we'll make plans."

"Perfect." He said goodbye, and I went into the room.

"Mommy." I went to her and kissed her forehead.

"Hi, sweetheart, how are you feeling?"

"My head hurts and I'm very sleepy." She gave a little smile and blinked her eyes very slowly.

"It's okay, you can sleep again." I pulled the blanket up to cover her more, and she closed her eyes and was soon asleep, and I sat next to him on the couch there.

"How was your date?"

"We don't need to talk about that."

"I know, it was just a question."

"Let's just focus on her well-being and forget about today." He agreed, and we fell into silence.

And that's how we spent the night at the hospital until we could leave the next morning.

Bonus scene!

“What a wonderful night”

Tag list: @ietss @lightdragonrayne @asplarklysoul @xoscar03 @smdrl @shobaes @evans-dejong @cocoxoxo69 @ggaslyp1 @bingewatche @loaves4me @justdreamersdream @alinacecee

Guys, the names with a line on top is because I couldn’t tag

[cherrieflavouredheadcanons]

I finally came up with a request! Would you be able to write "Octatrio (separate) teaching reader how to swim" (inspired by the fact that I can't swim after a whole swim class and my family trying to teach me). I understand that Floyd's character is a little difficult to write, so if you need me to, I can request something different!

I love the Octotrio, they are along with Vil (my beloved) my favourite characters! I hope you enjoy this headcanon, especially since it's my first time writing for twisted

Teaching you how to swim

Characters: Azul, Jade and Floyd Established relationships, Reader is gender neutral

Azul Ashengrotto

When he learned that you couldn’t swim he was shocked to be honest.

He had just informed you that his mother would love for you and him to visit her and her husband in the Coral Sea so they could finally meet you. He left out the fact that his mom called you ‘the person that has our Azul wrapped around their finger’ you did not need to know the power you have over him.

Now don’t get me wrong, Azul is fully aware that not every land dweller is able to swim, but he just assumed that you would be able to.

Azul, being Azul, quickly tried to overplay his shock with a proposal (sadly not a marriage one).

He would teach you how to swim, if you swore to never bring up any of the baby pictures of him his mother was bound to show you once you were visiting her. Especially to the twins

This incentive made you giggle, he may have gotten slightly better with accepting his past self, but he still had a few hiccups about it. But of course you agreed, after all you wanted to meet the woman who raised your boyfriend! (and also wanted to see his baby pictured since they were bound to be adorable)

Now before he teaches you how to swim, he is learning things himself, obviously learning how to swim is very different if you grew up in the sea as an Octo-mer or are a normal human.

Azul wants to be sure he can be the best teacher possible for you so he throws himself into research, which of course makes him a big target for teasing from the twins.

When it comes to actually teaching you how to swim, no matter how nervous you are he will be 100 times more nervous.

Much to your disappointment he refuses to be in his octopus form while he teaches you how to swim.

But despite that he is an amazing teacher, making sure you are safe and that you understand everything.

If he has to touch you to correct your form, he will ask politely if he can do so, all while blushing furiously and dying from embarrassment on the inside.

With him as a teacher you get the hang of swimming rather fast and don’t need that many lessons, once you are able to swim fully on your own he will praise you for being such a good student.

Jade Leech

Unlike Azul he wasn’t shocked that you couldn’t swim, it was a small surprise sure, but nothing that would throw him off.

You told him you couldn’t swim when he told you about his plans to take you on a date in the ocean to look at Marine fungi (I googled they actually exist cause I was unsure lol) and then to go to the restaurant Azul’s mom owned.

Jade was quiet for a second after you told him, just looking at you which was rather unnerving to say the least.

He stared at you like that for a moment before giving you a close eyed smile “Well, we can’t have that can’t we my love?” he had his hand on his chin as he said that, still smiling.

You were just confused, what did he mean by that and why was he smiling like that? Despite dating him for a while his close eyed smile still was unnerving sometimes.

“I will just have to teach you how to swim. I would not want to go see the Marine fungi alone or with anyone else, so this is the only option, don't you agree?”

You just nodded, still somewhat confused. And that is how you found yourself in a pool alone with Jade a few days later. Did you want to know how he managed to get the pool to be empty for just the two of you? No.

He is in his human form, but he would change into his eel form if you wanted him too, but you may or may not have to beg for it.

Jade is not as good a teacher as Azul but still solid. He did not do research on how to teach humans how to swim, he just somehow knows how to.

 Also unlike Azul he isn’t embarrassed if he has to touch you to correct your form or to help you, on the contrary he will make you embarrassed.

He has his typical smile on his face as he holds you, and whispers in your ear, nothing dirty, just whispers about your swimming like what you can do better or what you are doing good, but it is enough to embarrass you and make you flustered.

 It takes a bit longer than with Azul for you to learn how to swim, mostly due to him flustering you nearly any chance he has, but he is still an adequate teacher.

Floyd Leech

You barely had the time to tell him you can’t swim until it was nearly too late.

He had somehow gotten the idea to take you on  a surprise beach date and as soon as you were at the beach he pulled you along to the water, school uniform still on and everything.

You tried to stop him, but the tall eel was stronger than you so you had to yell out to him that you can’t swim just as your feet were about to touch the water.

Floyd stool still in his tracks, turning around looking confused but then smiling wide. “Whaat? Shrimpy can’t swim? But you are a shrimpy, how can that be?” 

You tried to explain to him that you simply never learned it but he interrupted you.

“Well I can’t have a shrimpy who can’t swim so Floydie is gonna have to teach you!” You gulped at how excited he sounded.

If it were up to him he would have just taught you how to swim right then and there at the beach but you convinced him that it would be better to do it in a pool…once you wore swimming clothes and not the school uniform, he agreed but only if he could squeeze you on the way back from the beach.

Unlike his brother, Floyd will be in his eel form the whole time while he teaches you how to swim, which makes it a bit harder for him to explain things to you since he doesn’t have legs, but he refuses to switch back.

He honestly doesn’t know what he is doing, he is just going with the vibes white teaching you and it somehow works.

Though be prepared that he will splash you with water, especially with his tail saying it is to imitate waves of the sea, but you know he is just being a little shit.

If you thought you wouldn’t get squeezed while trying to learn how to swim, you are severely mistaken, he will wrap his tail and his arms around you, squeezing you against his chest, if it were anyone else you’d probably be scared of going down in the water but you knew you could trust Floyd in that regard.

But he isn’t a complete asshole and will genuinely praise you for the progress you are making, since that means you two are one step closer to swimming in the sea together!

It will probably take the longest to learn how to swim when Floyd is the one teaching you, but it also is the most fun, since he doesn’t take things so seriously and just wants that the both of you amuse yourselves.

[a-lexia11]

Beyond the gap

Jenni hermoso x reader

Word count: 6k

Warning:angst,age gap

Summary: After moving to Mexico to play for Tigres Femenil, Y/N encounters Jenni, a 5'9" tattooed Spanish woman who is 11 years older than her.

Based on this request but for Jenni.

When I first arrived in Monterrey, everything felt different—new city, new culture, new team, new language.

I don’t mean to brag, but my Spanish is flawless. I’ve been practicing it daily ever since I found out about my upcoming transfer to Mexico.

Tigres UANL Feminil was a powerhouse in women’s football in Mexico, and being transferred here at 23 felt like a dream come true.

But as much as I tried to focus on the game, there was something—or rather, someone—that kept drawing my attention.

Jenni Hermoso.

She was hard to miss. At 5’9”, with tattoos covering her arms and a confidence that could turn heads, Jenni commanded attention wherever she went.

Her presence on the field was undeniable, but off the pitch, it was her cocky yet assured demeanor that left me in awe. Jenni was older—34—and had an aura of experience and self-assurance that I found incredibly attractive.

But it wasn’t just her physical presence; it was the way she carried herself, the way her eyes sparkled with a knowing glint, and how she effortlessly dominated every room she walked into.

Yet, there was also a wall around her, one that I quickly realized was going to be difficult to break through.

From the moment we met, there was a spark between us, a connection that felt impossible to ignore. But Jenni was careful, almost too careful.

She kept her distance, her teasing and playful remarks always followed by a subtle retreat, as if she was afraid of letting herself get too close.

I could see it—the way her eyes would linger on me just a second too long, the way she’d smile, then quickly look away as if catching herself in the act.

I wanted to understand why she was holding back. Maybe it was because of the 11-year age gap. I knew that she was aware of the potential backlash we’d face if we pursued anything beyond friendship—both from the team and the outside world.

Football was a tough world, and relationships like that, if they ever became public, would undoubtedly raise eyebrows.

Despite that, I couldn’t help but be drawn to her. How could I not be? Jenni was sweet, nice, and helpful, but there was an underlying fire in her that captivated me.

The more I got to know her, the more I found myself wanting to be close to her, to be the one who broke through her defenses.

——

It wasn’t long before I couldn’t take it anymore. We were sitting in the locker room after a training session, the air thick with exhaustion and the smell of sweat.

Jenni was across the room, casually chatting with a few of the girls, her laughter ringing out like music. I could barely concentrate on the conversation around me; my eyes kept drifting over to her.

Her smile, the way she playfully nudged one of the girls, the way she ran a hand through her dark hair—it all sent my heart racing.

She caught my eye and smirked, a teasing glint in her gaze that made my stomach flip. That was it. I had to make a move. It felt like the universe was giving me a push, telling me it was now or never.

“Jenni,” I called out as I walked over to her, my heart pounding in my chest. Without thinking, I took her large hand and led her to a more private space in the corner of the locker room.

Her hand was warm in mine, and the moment our skin touched, I felt a jolt of electricity shoot through me. She looked surprised, but she didn’t pull away.

“¿Qué pasa, Y/N?” she asked, her voice laced with curiosity and something else—something softer, more hesitant.

I took a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves. “¿Quieres cenar conmigo esta noche?” (Do you want to have dinner with me tonight?)

Her smile faltered for just a moment, and I saw a flicker of something—hesitation, maybe even fear—in her eyes.

But then she regained her composure, that cocky grin back in place. “¿Cena? ¿Solo nosotros dos?” she asked, raising an eyebrow, her voice playful but cautious. (Dinner? Just the two of us?)

“Sí, como amigas,” I added quickly, not wanting to scare her off. “Nada serio, solo una comida.” (Yes, as friends. Nothing serious, just a meal.)

She studied me for a long moment, and I could see the gears turning in her head. Finally, she nodded, her gaze softening. “Está bien. Como amigas.” (Alright. As friends.)

But even as she agreed, I could tell that Jenni was wary. There was something holding her back, a reluctance I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Was it the age difference? The fear of what others might think? Or was it something deeper, something more personal?

——

Dinner that night was better than I could have imagined. We went to a small restaurant in the heart of Monterrey, the kind of place that was dimly lit and intimate.

The warm glow of the candles cast a soft light on Jenni’s face, highlighting the sharp lines of her jaw and the intricate tattoos that adorned her arms. She was stunning, and I found it hard to tear my eyes away from her.

Jenni was in her element, charming the waitstaff and making me laugh with stories from her career.

She had this way of drawing people in, making them feel like they were the only person in the room. And tonight, I was the lucky one in her spotlight.

We were just two people enjoying each other’s company, and I could see that Jenni was relaxing, letting her guard down. She laughed easily, her eyes crinkling at the corners in that adorable way that made my heart skip a beat.

But then, as the evening wound down and we walked back to her car, that hesitation returned. I could feel the shift in her demeanor, a pulling back that I hadn’t noticed before.

She became quieter, more reserved, as if something was weighing heavily on her mind.

“Jenni,” I said softly, stopping her before she could unlock the car door. I reached out, gently placing a hand on her arm.

The contact was brief, but it was enough to send a shiver down my spine. “¿Qué pasa? Pareces distante.” (What’s going on? You seem distant.)

She sighed, her eyes scanning the empty street before finally settling on me. “Y/N, eres increíble,” she began, her voice sincere but tinged with something I couldn’t quite place. “Pero… no sé si esto es una buena idea.” (Y/N, you’re amazing, but… I don’t know if this is a good idea.)

I frowned, confused. “¿Por qué no?” (Why not?)

She hesitated, biting her lip before answering. “La diferencia de edad, el equipo, todo… No quiero que te lastimes.” (The age difference, the team, everything… I don’t want you to get hurt.)

I took a step closer, closing the distance between us. We were so close now that I could feel the warmth radiating from her body, the scent of her perfume mixing with the cool night air. “¿Y si soy más fuerte de lo que piensas?” I challenged, my voice firm. (What if I’m stronger than you think?)

Jenni looked at me, really looked at me, and I could see the internal struggle playing out in her mind. Her eyes searched mine, as if trying to gauge my sincerity, my determination.

She pulled me closer, one arm sliding around my waist, her fingers tracing slow, deliberate circles against my skin.

Her other hand found my cheek, and I leaned into her touch, feeling the heat between us intensify with every second.

Finally, she shook her head, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Eres fuerte, Y/N. Lo sé. Pero a veces… la vida es complicada.” (You are strong, Y/N. I know that. But sometimes… life is complicated.)

I reached out, gently touching her arm again. This time, I let my fingers trace the outline of one of her tattoos, feeling the warmth of her skin beneath my fingertips. “Lo sé. Pero vale la pena intentarlo, ¿no crees?” (I know. But it’s worth trying, don’t you think?)

She stared at me for a long moment, and I could see the walls slowly starting to crumble. “Tal vez,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. (Maybe.)

——

After that night, things between us began to change, but it was a slow process. Jenni was still hesitant, always careful not to get too close, even as the chemistry between us became undeniable.

She was strong and confident in so many ways, but when it came to us, she was always holding back.

It frustrated me. I wanted more—more of her, more of whatever this was. I wanted to be the one she turned to, the one she let her guard down around.

But I knew I had to be patient. Jenni wasn’t someone who would rush into anything, and if I pushed too hard, I risked losing her altogether.

We continued to see each other, going on dates that were always framed as “just friends” even though we both knew they were anything but.

Each time, Jenni seemed to relax a little more, but there was always that undercurrent of fear, that hesitation that held her back.

One evening, after a particularly good game, we found ourselves alone in the locker room. The team had gone out to celebrate, but Jenni and I had stayed behind, both too exhausted to do anything but sit in silence.

The room was quiet, save for the faint hum of the air conditioning and the distant sounds of celebration echoing from outside.

As I sat beside her, I could feel the tension between us, the unspoken words hanging in the air. Finally, I broke the silence.

“Jenni, ¿por qué sigues dudando?” I asked softly, my voice barely above a whisper. I reached out and gently placed my hand over hers. (Jenni, why do you keep hesitating?)

Her skin was cool to the touch, and the simple connection sent a rush of warmth through me. “¿Es por la edad? ¿O por lo que los demás puedan pensar?” (Is it because of the age difference? Or because of what others might think?)

She didn’t answer right away. Instead, she stared down at our hands, her thumb tracing small, absent-minded circles on the back of my hand.

Her expression was conflicted, a mixture of longing and fear. I could see the war waging inside her, the push and pull of desire and caution.

“Es complicado,” she finally whispered, her voice thick with emotion. (It’s complicated.)

I squeezed her hand gently, encouraging her to continue. “¿Qué es lo que te preocupa tanto?” I asked, my heart aching for her. (What are you so worried about?)

She sighed, leaning back against the cold metal of the locker behind her. For a moment, she closed her eyes, as if trying to gather her thoughts.

When she opened them again, they were filled with uncertainty. “Y/N, tú eres joven, y tienes toda una carrera por delante. No quiero ser la razón por la que las cosas se compliquen para ti. La prensa, los fanáticos, incluso el equipo… todos tendrán algo que decir si se enteran de esto.” (Y/N, you’re young, and you have your whole career ahead of you. I don’t want to be the reason things get complicated for you. The media, the fans, even the team… everyone will have something to say if they find out about this.)

I could see the pain in her eyes, the fear of what others might think, how they might judge us. It was a valid concern.

The football world wasn’t always kind to relationships that didn’t fit the mold, and with an age gap like ours, we’d be under even more scrutiny. But I didn’t care about any of that. All I cared about was her.

“Jenni,” I said firmly, shifting closer so that our knees touched. I tilted her chin up so that she was forced to look at me, to see the sincerity in my eyes. “Lo único que me importa eres tú. No me importa lo que la gente diga o piense. Si tú también lo sientes… si tú quieres esto, entonces eso es todo lo que importa.” (Jenni, the only thing that matters to me is you. I don’t care what people say or think. If you feel the same… if you want this, then that’s all that matters.)

She stared at me, her eyes wide and vulnerable. I could see the wheels turning in her head, the way she was processing my words, weighing the risks against her desires.

Then, slowly, she leaned forward, resting her forehead against mine. Her breath was warm against my skin, and for a moment, everything else faded away. It was just the two of us, in that quiet, dimly lit locker room, caught in the tension between hesitation and passion.

“I do want this,” she admitted in english, her voice trembling with emotion. “Pero tengo miedo. Miedo de lo que vendrá después, miedo de que nos hagan daño a los dos. Y también… tengo miedo de que esto no dure. Que en algún momento te des cuenta de que mereces algo mejor, alguien que no esté… atrapado en sus propios miedos.” (But I’m afraid. Afraid of what will come after, afraid that we’ll both get hurt. And also… I’m afraid that this won’t last. That at some point, you’ll realize you deserve something better, someone who isn’t… trapped in their own fears.)

Her words broke my heart. I could hear the doubt in her voice, the fear of being left behind, of not being enough. But to me, Jenni was more than enough.And I wanted her to know that.

“Jenni, mírame,” I said softly, cupping her face in my hands. Her eyes fluttered open, and I could see the unshed tears glistening in her lashes. “No voy a ir a ninguna parte. Estoy aquí, contigo, porque te quiero. Y eso no va a cambiar.” (Jenni, look at me. I’m not going anywhere. I’m here, with you, because I want you. And that’s not going to change.)

She paused, blinking as she processed what I had just said. Then, with deliberate slowness, she leaned in and softly pressed her lips to mine.

The kiss was gentle at first, a soft brush of lips that sent a wave of warmth through my entire body.

But as the seconds ticked by, it deepened, becoming more urgent, more desperate. It was as if all the pent-up emotions we had been holding back were finally spilling over, and neither of us could stop it.

Jenni’s hands found their way to my waist, and pulled me into her lap,her hands dangerously close to my butt.

I could feel the rapid beat of her heart against my chest, the way her fingers dug into my sides as if she was afraid to let go. I responded in kind, my hands tangling in her hair, pulling her closer, needing to feel her, to know that she was real.

When we finally broke apart, both of us were breathless, our foreheads pressed together as we tried to catch our breath.

Jenni’s eyes were bright, her lips slightly swollen from the intensity of the kiss. She looked at me with a mixture of awe and disbelief, as if she couldn’t quite believe what had just happened.

“Y/N,” she whispered, her voice hoarse with emotion. “¿Estás segura de esto?” (Are you sure about this?)

I nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips. “Nunca he estado más segura de nada en mi vida,” I replied, my voice steady. (I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.)

She let out a shaky laugh, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “Creo que me estás volviendo loca,” she murmured, but there was a hint of a smile in her voice. (I think you’re driving me crazy.)

“Eso es lo que hago mejor,” I teased, pressing another kiss to her lips, this one softer, more tender. (That’s what I do best.)

For a moment, we stayed like that, wrapped up in each other, letting the world outside fade away.

In that moment, nothing else mattered—just us, and the connection that had finally broken through the walls Jenni had so carefully built around herself.

——

Over the next few weeks, things between us intensified. The stolen glances during training sessions, the secret touches when no one was looking, the late-night texts that turned into whispered phone calls… it was like we were living in our own little bubble, and I reveled in every moment of it.

But as much as I loved the thrill of our secret romance, I knew that Jenni was still struggling.

She was careful—too careful. Whenever we were around the team, she would put up her walls again, acting as if nothing had changed between us. It was frustrating, but I understood. The age gap, the scrutiny… it weighed heavily on her.

One night, after a particularly grueling match, we found ourselves in my apartment. The team had won, and everyone was in high spirits, but Jenni had been quiet the entire evening.

I could tell something was bothering her, and I wanted to get to the bottom of it.

As we sat on the couch, the city lights of Monterrey twinkling outside the window, I turned to her. “Jenni, ¿qué pasa? Has estado distante toda la noche.” (Jenni, what’s going on? You’ve been distant all night.)

She sighed, running a hand through her hair. “Es solo… todo esto. Nosotros. A veces me siento abrumada, y no sé si estoy haciendo lo correcto.” (It’s just… all of this. Us. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed, and I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing.)

I frowned, my heart sinking. “¿Qué quieres decir?” (What do you mean?)

She looked at me, her eyes filled with uncertainty. “Quiero estar contigo, Y/N, de verdad. Pero tengo miedo de lo que pueda pasar si esto se vuelve público. La prensa, el equipo, mi familia… ¿y si no lo entienden? ¿Y si esto nos hace daño a los dos?” (I want to be with you, Y/N, I really do. But I’m afraid of what might happen if this becomes public. The media, the team, my family… what if they don’t understand? What if this hurts both of us?)

I could see the fear in her eyes, the way she was bracing herself for the worst. But I wasn’t going to let her face this alone.

“Jenni,” I said softly, reaching out to take her hand. I squeezed it gently, trying to reassure her. “Entiendo tus preocupaciones, y sé que no va a ser fácil. Pero no estoy dispuesta a perderte por miedo a lo que los demás piensen. Si esto es real para ti, como lo es para mí, entonces vale la pena luchar por ello.” (Jenni, I understand your concerns, and I know it won’t be easy. But I’m not willing to lose you because of fear of what others think. If this is real for you, like it is for me, then it’s worth fighting for.)

She stared at me for moment, her eyes filled with a mixture of fear and longing. I could see the internal battle she was fighting, torn between the desire to protect herself—and me—from the potential fallout, and the undeniable connection we shared.

It was as if she was standing on the edge of a precipice, unsure whether to take the leap or retreat to safety.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Jenni let out a shaky breath and nodded, her fingers tightening around mine. “Tienes razón,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “Vale la pena luchar por esto. No quiero vivir con miedo, y no quiero perder lo que tenemos.” (You’re right. This is worth fighting for. I don’t want to live in fear, and I don’t want to lose what we have.)

The relief that washed over me was overwhelming, and before I knew it, I was pulling her into my arms, holding her tightly as if I was afraid she might slip away.

I buried my face in the crook of her neck,and she kissed the crown of my head as she clung to me just as desperately.

In that moment, it felt like we had crossed a threshold—no more hiding, no more holding back. We were in this together, for better or for worse.

As we held each other, the tension that had been hanging between us for weeks slowly began to dissipate.

Jenni’s body relaxed against mine, and I could feel her heartbeat gradually steadying, syncing with my own. I whispered, “Vamos a estar bien, Jenni. Lo haremos juntos, y todo estará bien.” (We’re going to be okay, Jenni. We’ll do this together, and everything will be okay.)

She pulled back slightly, just enough to look down at me, her eyes searching mine for reassurance.

I could see the vulnerability in her gaze, the lingering doubts that still lingered, but there was also a new resolve, a determination that hadn’t been there before.

“¿Prometes?” she asked, her voice small and tentative. (Do you promise?)

I cupped her face in my hands, brushing my thumbs gently across her cheeks as I looked deep into her eyes. “Lo prometo,” I said firmly, my voice leaving no room for doubt. (I promise.)

Jenni’s lips curved into a small, tentative smile, and for the first time in what felt like ages, I saw a glimmer of hope in her eyes.

She leaned in slowly, her lips brushing against mine in a kiss that was both tender and passionate.

It was a kiss filled with all the unspoken promises and unexpressed emotions that had been building between us for so long, a kiss that spoke of new beginnings and the strength to face whatever challenges lay ahead.

As our lips moved together, the world outside seemed to fade away. It was just us, wrapped in each other’s arms, lost in the warmth and comfort of our connection.

My hands slipped from her face to around her shoulders , pulling her closer until there was no space left between us.

Jenni responded in kind, her arms around my waist, squeezing lightly as she deepened the kiss, her movements more confident, more certain.

When we finally broke apart, both of us were breathless, our foreheads resting together as we caught our breath.

Jenni’s eyes were shining, her lips slightly swollen from the intensity of our kiss. She looked at me with a mixture of love and determination, as if she had finally made peace with the decision we had both made.

“Te quiero, Y/N,” she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion. “Y voy a luchar por esto, por nosotros.” (I want you, Y/N. And I’m going to fight for this, for us.)

Hearing those words from her made my heart swell with happiness, and I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face. “Yo también te quiero, Jenni,” I replied softly, my voice filled with all the love I felt for her. “Y voy a estar a tu lado, pase lo que pase.” (I want you too, Jenni. And I’m going to be by your side, no matter what.)

——

The days that followed were a whirlwind of emotions, both exhilarating and nerve-wracking. With the decision to embrace our relationship came the inevitable challenges.

We knew that going public would bring scrutiny from all angles—our teammates, the media, and even our families. But now, for the first time, we were ready to face it together.

Jenni was still cautious, but she was no longer holding back. We started small, taking baby steps towards revealing our relationship to the world.

First, it was just small gestures—holding hands when we were out alone, stolen kisses in quiet corners of the training facility, and whispered words of love when no one was around.

It was a delicate dance, balancing our desire to be open with the need for privacy, but we were determined to find that balance.

One evening, we had finished certain activities and were lying naked in bed, I was on top of her. Her hands gently traveled up and down my back, occasionally drifting to give my butt a light squeeze that made me giggle. Each time, she would tenderly kiss my forehead.

Her skin was warm and soft under my touch, and I reveled in the intimacy of the moment. It was one of those rare moments when everything felt perfect, when the world outside our little bubble didn’t matter.

Jenni gazed at me with a gentle smile, her eyes brimming with affection as one of her hands tenderly brushed through my hair.“¿Qué estás pensando?” she asked quietly, her voice hushed in the dim light of the room. (What are you thinking?)

I smiled, my fingers continuing their lazy exploration of her skin. “Estoy pensando en lo afortunada que soy de tenerte aquí, conmigo,” I replied honestly, my heart swelling with love for her. (I’m thinking about how lucky I am to have you here, with me.)

Jenni’s smile widened, and she leaned in to press a soft kiss to my lips. “Yo soy la afortunada,” she murmured against my mouth, her voice filled with sincerity. (I’m the lucky one.)

We stayed like that for a while, wrapped up in each other, our kisses slow and languid, savoring the closeness we had found.

There was a tenderness in the way Jenni held me, her hands tracing gentle patterns on my back as if she couldn’t get enough of the contact.

I could feel the love radiating from her, the way she cherished every moment we spent together.

But even in those quiet moments, the reality of our situation was never far from our minds.

The age gap, the potential backlash from the media, and the reactions of our teammates and families loomed over us like a shadow. We knew that coming out publicly would be a risk, one that could change everything.

——

As we lay in bed after a particularly long day, Jenni voiced the concerns that had been weighing on her mind. “¿Crees que el equipo lo aceptará?” she asked quietly, her fingers absentmindedly tracing circles on my arm. (Do you think the team will accept it?)

I turned to face her, my eyes searching hers in the dim light. “No lo sé,” I admitted honestly. “Pero no creo que debamos escondernos. Si somos felices, eso es lo que debería importar, ¿no?” (I don’t know. But I don’t think we should hide. If we’re happy, that’s what should matter, right?)

Jenni nodded slowly, her expression thoughtful. “Tienes razón,” she said softly, her voice tinged with determination. “No quiero seguir escondiéndome. Si vamos a hacer esto, lo haremos juntos, sin miedo.” (You’re right. I don’t want to keep hiding. If we’re going to do this, we’ll do it together, without fear.)

Her words filled me with a renewed sense of hope, and I couldn’t help but smile as I leaned in to kiss her. “Juntas,” I whispered against her lips, my heart swelling with love for her. (Together.)

——

When we finally decided to tell our teammates, it was nerve-wracking. Jenni and I had been preparing for this moment for weeks, discussing how we would approach the conversation and anticipating their reactions.

We knew that some would be supportive, while others might be more hesitant, but we were ready to face it head-on.

One afternoon, after training, we gathered the team together in the locker room. The atmosphere was light, filled with the usual banter and laughter that came after a hard day’s work, but I could sense the tension in Jenni as she stood beside me, her hand gripping mine tightly.

“Chicas,” Jenni began, her voice steady but filled with emotion. The room fell silent as everyone turned to look at us, curiosity and concern etched on their faces. “Hay algo que Y/N y yo queremos compartir con ustedes.” (Girls, there’s something Y/N and I want to share with you.)

I could feel the weight of the moment pressing down on us, but I squeezed Jenni’s hand, offering her silent support. She took a deep breath, her gaze sweeping over our teammates before she continued.

“Y/N y yo… estamos juntas,” she said, her voice firm. (Y/N and I… we’re together.)

There was a brief pause, a moment of silence as everyone processed her words. Then, slowly, the reactions began to trickle in.

Some of the girls smiled, offering words of congratulations and support, while others looked more uncertain, their expressions unreadable.

But overall, the response was positive, and I could see the relief on Jenni’s face as the tension began to dissipate.

One of our teammates, who had always been close to both of us, stepped forward with a grin. “Bueno, ya era tiempo,” she teased, a playful glint in her eyes. “Pensé que iban a mantenerlo en secreto para siempre.” (Well, it was about time. I thought you were going to keep it a secret forever.)

Laughter rippled through the room, and I felt Jenni relax beside me, her grip on my hand loosening as the tension melted away. She chuckled softly, shaking her head. “No era nuestra intención, pero necesitábamos estar seguras de que estábamos listas,” she admitted, her voice lighter now. (It wasn’t our intention, but we needed to be sure we were ready.)

Another teammate stepped forward, her expression a mix of warmth and understanding. “Lo importante es que se tienen el uno al otro,” she said gently, her words resonating with sincerity. “Si son felices juntas, entonces eso es lo que importa. Y estamos aquí para apoyarlas.” (The important thing is that you have each other. If you’re happy together, then that’s what matters. And we’re here to support you.)

Jenni’s eyes glistened with unshed tears as she nodded, her voice thick with emotion when she replied. “Gracias, chicas. Eso significa mucho para nosotras.” (Thank you, girls. That means a lot to us.)

I couldn’t help but feel a surge of gratitude for our teammates. Despite the uncertainty and fear we had faced leading up to this moment, they had embraced us with open arms. It wasn’t just about acceptance—it was about being surrounded by people who genuinely cared for us, who wanted to see us happy.

As the conversation shifted back to more casual topics, I leaned in closer to Jenni, my hand still wrapped around hers.

She looked at me with a soft smile, the weight that had been pressing on her shoulders for so long finally lifting. I could see the relief in her eyes, the joy of finally being able to live openly and freely, without fear or hesitation.

“¿Te sientes mejor?” I asked softly, my thumb gently stroking the back of her hand. (Do you feel better?)

Jenni nodded, her smile widening as she leaned in to press a kiss to my forehead. “Mucho mejor,Hermosa” she murmured, her voice filled with affection. (Much better, beautiful)

——

The next hurdle we faced was dealing with the media, and we both knew it would be an entirely different challenge—a beast of its own. We were prepared, but not fully ready for what was to come.

It started with the fans. They began noticing subtle things, like the way we exchanged gentle touches or the lingering hugs on the field.

They picked up on how we always seemed to be together, spending every moment in each other’s company, and didn’t hesitate to share it on social media. Our connection was obvious to anyone paying attention.

We weren’t trying to hide anything. We were simply living our lives authentically, sharing pieces of it as any couple would.

But as our relationship became more visible, people started speculating. And with that speculation came criticism and hate, much of which revolved around the age gap between us.

People began to make unfair assumptions, calling Jenni weird or saying she was using me to relive her younger years. They’d throw out all kinds of accusations, but I didn’t let it get to me. These people weren’t part of our world—they didn’t see what I saw in Jenni, and they certainly didn’t understand the depth of our relationship.

Jenni didn’t let it affect her either. She was confident in us, in our bond, and in what we had built together. Her unwavering belief in our relationship made it easier for us to ignore the noise. We knew who we were to each other, and that’s what mattered most.

That’s why, despite the negativity, we decided to share a small glimpse of our relationship with the world. It wasn’t about proving anything to anyone; it was about celebrating the love and connection we had, regardless of what others thought.

The picture we had chosen was a candid shot of the two of us, taken by a teammate during one of our quieter moments.

We were sitting on a bench at the training ground, our heads close together, smiles on our faces as we looked at each other. It was a picture that radiated warmth and love, capturing the bond that had grown between us over time.

The caption was straightforward, no frills, no drama:

“Mi amor. ❤️”

Within minutes, the notifications started flooding in. Comments, likes, shares—it was overwhelming. Some were supportive, some were curious, and of course, there were those who were less than kind.

But through it all, Jenni and I held on to each other, refusing to let the negativity drown out the joy of finally being free to live our truth.

That night, as we lay in bed, the glow of our phones casting a soft light in the dark room, Jenni turned to me with a smile that made my heart skip a beat. “Lo hicimos,” she whispered, her voice filled with a mix of disbelief and happiness. (We did it.)

I nodded, leaning in to kiss her softly. “Sí, lo hicimos,” I replied, my voice equally soft. “Y ahora, no hay vuelta atrás.” (Yes, we did. And now, there’s no turning back.)

Jenni’s eyes sparkled with a newfound sense of freedom as she pulled me closer, our bodies fitting together perfectly under the covers. “No quiero volver atrás,” she murmured, her lips brushing against mine in a kiss that was filled with promise. (I don’t want to go back.)

We spent the night wrapped in each other’s arms, our kisses slow and unhurried, our touches gentle and loving.

There was a sense of peace that had settled over us, a quiet understanding that no matter what the future held, we would face it together.

As I traced the lines of Jenni’s tattoos, my fingers gliding over the inked patterns on her skin, I couldn’t help but marvel at how far we had come.

The fears and doubts that had once seemed so insurmountable now felt like distant memories, overshadowed by the strength of our love.

“Te amo, Jenni,” I whispered against her lips, my voice filled with all the emotions I felt for her. (I love you, Jenni.)

“Y yo te amo a ti, Y/N,” she replied softly, her voice trembling with emotion as she pressed a tender kiss to my forehead. (And I love you, Y/N.)

We fell asleep that night wrapped in each other’s warmth, the world outside our little bubble fading away as we held on to the love that had brought us together. There would be challenges ahead—there always were—but for now, in this moment, we were content.

And that was enough.

FIN

[aphrmoosun]

{Noa and the Beast}

Nomae: One shot

• Sipnosis.

Noa is the new leader of the clan, his responsibility was to his own. But an Echo enters their lives and they decide to kill her due to the ancient writings that defined her as dangerous. But when Noa has her in front of him, his world changes completely...

• Pair.

Noa and Mae

• Movie.

Kingdom of the planet of the apes {Half AU}

• Tags.

Nomae, interspecies relationship, interspecies sex, interspecies romance, yes it is a ship fic, smut, romancing, Beauty and the Beast, Half AU, Noa hunt Mae, but the Noa falls in love with Mae, Long One Shot, Writer isn't English Native Speaker, etc

• Other nomae fanfics.

You and Me

No words

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DO NOT COPY OR SHARE IT ELSEWHERE WITHOUT PERMISSION!

• Noa and the Beast [One Shot]

**First Act**

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The day was coming to an end. Noa was returning home with a successful hunt. He and his friends had managed to catch a pair of rabbits and a adult deer, earning them a warm welcome.

The situation was difficult for the village. Since his father had died, he and his mother were the only hope for their survival. They had to lead the rest to survive, and that was his duty as the new leader of the village.

"Well done, son," his mother said.

Noa sat down beside his mother, hugging her and offering her a piece of food, which she refused.

Their happiness was interrupted by some apes who arrived running and shouting.

"It's an Echo! We've seen one near here!"

Noa managed to understand what one of them was saying.

"Calm down," Noa said, standing up and addressing them. "It's probably just passing through. Echos usually move when it starts to get cold."

"This one is different. We've heard it talk! It was settling near the village."

Another ape spoke up, frightened.

"Don't worry, it won't hurt us."

"You don't understand. Echos are evil, the farther away from us, the better."

"If that means underground, even better."

"Yes!"

Many of the apes supported the idea of killing the Echo.

"We can't act impulsively. We need to think with a clear head."

Noa defended the idea of reaching a consensus.

"You're our leader. You must defend our home from those things!"

The ape began to feel the pressure from his village. Everyone wanted to see how the new leader would handle a dangerous situation.

"Fine! I'll take care of it myself." Noa didn't like the idea, but he said, "Tomorrow, I'll go to where you saw it and bring back proof that the Echo is no longer a problem."

Noa received a big ovation, but he couldn't take his eyes off his mother, who disapproved of his attitude.

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**Second Act**

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Anaya and Soona, Noa's best friends, were already ready to go after the Echo. They were determined to accompany their leader, not just as friends, but as family.

The plan was to approach the Echo on foot, without horses, so as not to scare it, and kill it with the arrows they used for hunting. But Noa had taken something else from the village - a remedy that they took when they felt pain, in case he couldn't bear the scene, he would give it to the Echo himself.

It would have been just another Echo, but the idea of being able to hear one talk for the first time had haunted him all night. What if he could talk to it? What if it could defend itself by talking? What set them apart from animals if they couldn't talk?

But his village needed him. They had never encountered an Echo like this before, and it was a danger to his people. It was written that way.

When they were far enough from the village, Noa turned to his friends, stopping them.

"I have to go alone from here."

"What? No, we're not going to leave you." Soona approached him, grabbing his hands.

"Soona, I have to do this alone. I'm the leader now, and I have to be responsible for my words and my responsibilities towards our people. And one of those responsibilities is taking care of you too."

"I don't care about your position. We also want to take care of you."

Anaya joined the two, and they ended up in a three-way hug.

"I'm sure I can handle this. But I need to do it alone." He finally convinced them.

Anaya and Soona walked away, and he began to walk forward. He didn't look back, it would be easier to fulfill his responsibility alone and as the leader he had to be.

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**Third Act**

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He could observe her easily. She didn't seem to have seen him, and she continued with her life as usual. She walked back and forth, going to and from the river near the home she had built.

She was very resourceful. With the help of stones, branches, sticks, and leaves, she had built a kind of settlement near the river. She had everything she needed to survive just a few steps away.

Noa couldn't help but analyze her. From her physical features to her delicate movements. What she seemed to be doing was cooking with leaves and fruits he couldn't recognize.

They had warned him that this Echo was not normal. If she could talk, it was already very different from the ones he had encountered before, but he had never imagined what he had in front of him. If it weren't for her small body, little hair, small eyes, small hands, small waist, the bulge on her chest, and small feet, he could have sworn he was looking at an ape.

But he had to push those thoughts out of his mind. He had come to kill her, and he had already wasted too much time analyzing her.

He raised his bow and placed the arrow right at the Echo's heart direction. His hands were shaking. It was the first time they had shaken like that. He had to admit, this wasn't a normal hunt. He wasn't going to kill her out of necessity, nor did he need her skin or any part of her body. He was going to kill her because he feared her. Not just him, but his people. And that had to be his thought, his people were waiting for him to bring back proof of the event.

His vision became blurry as his heart began to beat strongly, he couldn't look. He released the arrow without being able to see well where it was headed.

"Ah!"

He heard the Echo's despairing cry.

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**Fourth Act**

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Noa found himself in front of the Echo. His blurry vision and sweaty hands hadn't allowed him to hit his target. His main objective was the Echo's heart, but due to his nerves, the arrow had ended up hitting one of her sides.

She looked at him with open, frightened eyes, trembling while she held her side. She had pulled out the arrow and was trying to stop the bleeding.

Noa could have stood there, watching her die from bleeding, but he couldn't help but approach her and offer her a piece of cloth from his own arm to stop the bleeding.

The human looked at him doubtfully, taking the cloth.

"Why?"

He didn't know what to answer. Why had he attacked her? Why was he helping her? Because his heart was in constant struggle over what was right against his mind.

Echos had to be kept away. They wouldn't approach them, and they wouldn't live with them. Beyond the Valley was forbidden to cross because Echos were there.

The elders of his clan described them as monsters that killed each other, creatures that took everything around them and massacred it. Wild animals that would kill their own siblings for power.

But in front of Noa, he saw a smaller creature than him, harmless, and not having harmed them, alone, and with no signs of damage to nature around her. Not even signs of fires or dead animals.

Noa crouched down beside the human and covered her wound, helping her stop the bleeding.

"I don't know why. Neither do I."

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**Fifth Act**

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Noa had decided to move the unconscious Echo to the nest of leaves covered by a roof of branches. At least there, she would be comfortable and covered in case the sun bothered her or it rained. But he had to go back to the village, he had to go back to Anaya and Soona, because if he took too long, he was sure they would come to see what had happened to him, and that wouldn't be good.

He had to do it quickly. Kill the nearest animal he could find, so he would have something to feed the Echo when she woke up, but also use a significant part of it to show in his village, her heart.

A hare had been the sacrifice for his plan, he didn't have time to go for a bigger animal, and with the hare's heart, he was sure his village would calm down.

He took long strides, quickly, so as not to take too long. Right where he had left them, Anaya and Soona were waiting for him. They ran to hug him and looked at what he was carrying.

"Did you do it?" Soona asked, stepping back from the hug.

"Yes."

He was lying. He was lying to his friends for an Echo. But he didn't have another choice.

In the village, they received him as the leader he was. With hugs and praise towards him. He couldn't bear the weight on his chest. He was lying to everyone.

"Son, are you okay?" His mother was the only one who could feel something in him, and she didn't take long to approach him and ask questions.

"Yes, why wouldn't I be? We've gotten rid of that Echo! Isn't that right?"

"Because it's the first time you're acting like the leader of the clan." His mother hugged him. "I know it's hard, going against your ideals to follow the clan's ideals. No one asks if you're okay when you come back, they just receive you as the leader."

"I'm fine, mom."

She was the only one who could discover everything if she noticed his strange behavior. So he had to act normally... how was he supposed to act normally after supposedly killing an Echo that hadn't done anything to them?

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**Sixth Act**

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That same morning, Noa had gone back to where the Echo was. He expected to find her where he had left her, but he was surprised to see her standing, trembling, by the riverbank.

"Hey, you shouldn't be there."

She jumped back, trying to get away from him.

"It's okay, I'm here to help you."

"You're the one who hurt me."

Well, he couldn't deny that.

"I'm sorry. Please, let me help you."

"H-how can you apologize for something like that?"

She had started to breathe with difficulty, holding her wound.

"Sh, it's okay. We'll talk when you're cured."

Noa held her wound again, seeing how it was still humid, and proceeded to clean it, forcing her to lie down on the nest.

The ape had brought new bandages in case he needed to change them, so he proceeded to change them.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you."

"It's hard to believe. Did you think I was livestock or something?"

"No, my village is scared of you, and they wanted me to kill you."

"And, why didn't you?"

Noa continued to change the bandages, unable to look her in the eye.

"I don't know. I didn't want to kill you personally, without knowing you. But it's my duty as the leader."

That information silenced the human. She grabbed his hand with the one he was using to clean her.

"Well, as the leader, stop. You've done your duty, you've tried to kill me, give them that information, and I'll run away from here. That way, you can say I escaped."

Noa shook his head, turning his hand to hold hers.

"No, you're already dead to them."

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**Seventh Act**

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Noa had been going back and forth from the village to where Mae, the Echo, was for a week.

During the day, he took care of his leader duties, and at dawn, he would return to the human's nest, where he would cure her, feed her, and take care of her. In those moments, they would talk, forgetting about the ape's attempt to assassinate her. Mae had opened up completely to him.

A human who had lost her family recently and was trying to survive away from the rest of humans who had hurt her. He didn't understand how they had hurt her if she didn't have that physical aspect, only the wound he had inflicted on her. But she explained that the wounds those humans had inflicted on her were not visible on her body, but in her heart.

Noa felt like seeking out those humans and defending the human to make her feel better. But she told him she was already learning to forget them.

"The wound is much better."

He didn't like how she was healing so quickly. Mae would have to leave when she was fully cured, that had been their agreement, but he wasn't ready to say goodbye so soon.

"Yes, I can do things on my own now. You should rest more at night and not come to see me."

"I don't need to rest. I want to come see you."

"Noa..."

"What?"

The ape continued making the meal, actually watching how the fire was made.

"You know I've forgiven you. You don't have to keep feeling guilty. Forgive yourself too."

"I-I can't. I failed my village. But I also failed you. If only I had shot higher, you would be dead and I wouldn't have met you."

"But you're a good ape and didn't do it. If it had happened this way or that, it wouldn't exist anymore. The reality is that we've met."

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**Eighth Act**

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That day, his mother wouldn't leave his side. She observed him closely without speaking, but that made him even more nervous.

"What? What's going on?"

He stopped in front of her.

"Son, you can lie to the whole world, but not to your mother."

"What do you mean?"

"Your nighttime escapes, the lack of sales, your fatigue during the day. Tell me, son. Where do you escape to?"

"Nowhere, mom. Just... I go climbing alone to relax and sleep."

"Yesterday, you slept very late, the sun had already risen. And you started talking in your sleep."

Noa averted his gaze so she couldn't keep reading him like that.

"Your dreams mentioned Mae's name."

"Oh, nonsense. I don't know anyone by that name."

He turned around, trying to ignore his mother's comments so as not to get more nervous.

"Son, do you sneak out at night to see Mae? Is she the Echo you didn't kill?"

"Mother! I don't know what you're talking about!"

"I've known you since you came out of me. Small, hairy, and noisy. Since you were very young, you showed that you weren't like the rest of the apes. You were very analytical and more intelligent than most. Your father knew that you took twice as long to think things through, just like your grandfather."

"Mom..."

"That's why I knew when they asked you to fulfill this responsibility that you would take your time to think it through and not do it, because you're a fair son of mine."

"Mom, I couldn't kill her. She hadn't done anything to us and lived peacefully alone by the river. She didn't pose any danger like the elders make us believe."

"I know, son. I know you very well."

His mother hugged him, and he took refuge in her arms. Taking a weight off his shoulders since he wasn't the only one who knew about Mae's existence.

And not just the two of them anymore. One of the aoes in charge of the birds had overheard their conversation, hiding from mother and son.

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**Ninth Act**

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That morning, Noa found Mae packed and ready to leave, with her things in a backpack and the fire extinguished.

"Where are you going?"

"I have to leave now, Noa."

"What? No, why? You're still hurt. You can't leave yet."

"I'm not hurt anymore, Noa. You saved me."

"No, no, no, no."

Noa grabbed the girl's hands, trying to stop her.

"We knew this moment would come. I'm very grateful that you gave me the opportunity to meet you."

"No! It's the other way around. I tried to kill you and you forgave me, letting me into your life."

"That doesn't matter anymore, Noa."

"Yes, it does. I came here to kill you because I thought you were an animal, a monster, a beast. And I ended up realizing that the only beast here is me."

"Don't be so hard on yourself."

"I have to be. I can't forgive myself because if I do, I'll think I have a chance with you and it's not like that. I can't, n-no..."

Mae grabbed his cheeks, making him lean his forehead against hers, looking into his eyes.

"You're not a beast. You're my savior, but I have to leave so I don't cause you more problems."

Noa shook his head and leaned in to kiss the human, savoring the sweet taste of Mae's mouth.

They separated as they heard horses and apes cries.

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**Tenth Act**

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Noa was startled. The only apes near the river were from his village. And it couldn't be, they didn't have any nighttime exploration planned.

"What's going on?"

"I don't know."

He turned to the human, grabbing her cheeks to make her look at him.

"Don't worry, you hide. I'll go see what's happening."

Mae looked towards something behind the ape's back, and he turned to see what had caught her attention, finding his friends.

"Noa."

The two apes ran to hug him.

"You don't know what's going on in the village. Maximo told them about the Echo and they're all coming to kill her."

Anaya explained quickly, without taking a breath.

"How did you know?"

"Why didn't you tell us?"

Soona responded with another question.

"I couldn't. She was in danger."

"We're your friends! We would have helped." -Soona raised her voice.-

"It's okay, guys. We'll discuss this later. Now we have to help the Echo." -Anaya turned to Mae.

"You have to distract them while I help her escape." -Noa grabbed Mae's hand.

"No!" -Soona refused.- "You're the clan leader, you have to give them explanations after what they found out. You have to be consistent."

The ape couldn't refuse. His friend was right.

"Mae." -he turned to her, grabbing her shoulders.- "You're going with Soona and Anaya, they'll help you."

"I'm staying with you." -Soona gave him her back as he said goodbye.-

He couldn't make her change her mind, as the apes were approaching.

"Echo. It's better if you get on my back and I'll run." -Anaya offered her back to Mae, and she got on without taking her eyes off Noa.-

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**Eleventh Act**

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The group of apes arrived, finding Noa and Soona together. Both apes were standing side by side, bearing the gaze of the rest.

"Where is she?"

"We know, Noa. The Echo is still alive."

"We have to kill her before she attacks us."

"She's a demon."

Several apes spoke at once.

"Silence!" -Noa shouted, making them all quiet.- "She's not a demon! We're the ones who pursued her and tried to kill her without harming us."

"She'll do it, it's written."

"The elders say so."

"The elders are wrong!" -Noa shouted again.- "And the laws are wrong!"

"Noa, step aside!"

Several apes approached violently. He couldn't let his clan lose respect for their leader.

As the leader of the eagle clan and respectful of his clan's ancient tradition, he began to sing. He still hadn't joined with any bird. Due to his father's death, he had decided to wait out of respect for the previous leader. But now... it was the only solution he could think of to regain his clan's respect.

He continued singing, and no eagle came.

"It doesn't work like that!"

"What eagle would want to join you after you betrayed us?"

The apes' voices enraged him. His voice rose above theirs, and a large eagle with a strong presence landed on his arm.

When Noa looked up, he was surprised to see the eagle Sun, his father's eagle. Known as the strongestin its nest and stubborn like his father. Everyone feared and respected it.

_________________________________

**Twelfth Act**

_________________________________

Most of the apes kneeled before Noa, who stood proudly, looking at the eagle on his arm.

"It can't be, the eagle Sun has finally chosen its new master."

"It can't be, Noa, he's a traitor."

"Maximo, stop talking like that about the clan leader. He's already proven with actions that we should trust him."

One ape began to defend him, and most of them joined in. Noa knew he had regained his title as leader.

"We can't forgive his lie!"

That ape, Maximo, ran forward. Noa saw his intention to go after Noa and Anaya, so he stood in front of him, growling.

"You're not going to pass!" -he shouted, making Maximo take a few steps back.- "The Echo is my responsibility." -Noa began to address everyone.- "If anyone has a problem with her, they should come to me and I'll resolve it."

Maximo walked away with his head down.

The rest of the a apes roached to congratulate him on his union with Sol, and Soona stepped aside, observing him. In the end, it hadn't been necessary to help him; he was the clan leader, and she regretted having doubted it.

_________________________________

**Thirteenth Act**

_________________________________

The next morning, Noa met with Mae again. Anaya had told him the location where she had hidden her, in the cave where the three of them used to hide as children when they wanted to escape from their parents or play pranks.

Anaya had confided in Mae about the location, knowing how important it was to her friend Noa.

The ape and the human looked at each other intensely when they met. Mae was sitting on a rock, holding a piece of fruit, and had heard him enter. She was anxious to see him.

"Noa!" -she stood up, looking him up and down.- "Didn't they hurt you?"

"No, no, Mae." -Noa put his forehead against the human's, closing his eyes and breathing in her scent more closely.- "Y-you, are you okay?"

Mae let out a laugh.

"I'm fine. You faced your clan for... for me."

"Yes, for you. But I know that's not as scary as riding on Anaya's back and climbing up here with his rough scaling."

"Anaya took good care of me, you don't have to worry."

"I know."

Neither of them wanted to break the silence that followed. They hugged, feeling each other's skin so close. Mae's breath hit Noa's lips, and he couldn't resist anymore, leaning in to kiss her again, this time knowing every centimeter of her lips and mouth as he introduced his tongue.

"Noa."

Mae whispered the ape's name, and she pulled away, placing his lips on her cheek.

"You shouldn't kiss me like that. And I won't be able to leave if we keep doing this."

"Then don't leave. There's no need, no one wants you to leave. Come with me and live in my village, with my clan."

"No! Noa, I don't want to bring you more problems."

"You're not going to bring more problems." -Noa hugged her.- "Since I met you, you've brought nothing but joy and laughter and good thoughts to my life. You've made me happy, and I don't want to lose you."

"Okay."

Noa shouted happily, hugging the girl and lifting her up.

"You make me so happy, I love you!"

Mae looked into his eyes, unable to respond since she had lost her breath.

The human leaned in, kissing him again, this time with tenderness, and pulled away after a few seconds. As if her lips had given him strength and air to speak, she responded.

"I love you too."

_________________________________

**Final Act**

_________________________________

Mae moved in with them. The village had welcomed her with open arms when they saw her arrive with their leader.

Noa's mother received her literally in her arms, in a strong hug.

"Welcome."

The Echo, the beast everyone had feared, had found a place in everyone's heart. She had sought her place in the village and now fulfilled her responsibilities so that no one would ever have to take care of her again.

A certain leader wasn't very happy about it, since it meant they spent less time together, but he was happy seeing how everyone had learned to love her.

There was even a moment when he felt jealous of the attention she gave to the other apes.

Mae dedicated herself to healing and feeding the smaller or injured apes, or those who were lonely. This made her spend more time with others than with him. But he couldn't say anything, he had to fulfill his clan duties too.

At least he had the hope of ending the day and finding her in his nest again.

"Noa."

Mae sighed in his ear. Noa couldn't help but lie down next to the human and kiss her from her cheek to her neck. He had seen her sleeping already, but he missed her and needed to feel her in his arms.

He placed himself on top of her, lifting her clothes and pushing them aside. It wasn't the first time they had done it, but he had understood that those garments were important to cover the human's attributes. For the apes, it was rare to see those clothes, but Noa's ego grew when only he could see her like that.

Naked, trembling from his kisses and caresses, and so sensitive that she responded to every touch he gave her.

He introduced his virility, making her moan, making them both moan. His thrusts were quick and concise. That night, he needed to feel her with urgency. The desperation in his chest to make her reach climax and hear her scream his name.

"Noa!"

That scream and the contractions of the human's vagina around his penis made him come with a grunt.

"Mae, Mae."

He leaned on her, placing his elbows on both sides of Mae to avoid hurting her, and waited for his heart to calm down after coming.

"I love you."

He heard Mae.

"I love you too."

The ape responded before falling asleep next to her.

His life had taken a huge turn since the Echo, his Echo, had entered it. From believing he was going to kill a beast, to believing he had become one, to falling in love with an Echo. She had saved him from drowning in a life full of desperation and lies. She had entered his life to make the monsters that haunted him disappear. Mae was, is, and will be the love of his life forever.

________________________________

END.

[diamantar]

MARKS OF FIRE

→ Aemond Targaryen x fem!OC

✦ Synopsis: Between courtship and love, the truth about their scars comes to light.

✦ Warnings: Fluff / Mention of wounds and fights.

✦ Words: 1133

✦ Request: @sarcasticsweetlara

✦ Spanish Version: Marcas de Fuego

Walking through the hallways on the second floor of the Red Keep, a maid nodded politely to those she passed, lowering her gaze in respect when crossing people of higher status. With hands neatly folded in front and a straight posture, she maintained her formal demeanor until the crowd began to thin as she reached quieter, less populated areas. Glancing discreetly from side to side, she paused by a stone railing, quickly adjusting her hair when the breeze uncovered the scar that marked her face.

The bruised and shiny skin had been a source of gossip when she first entered the castle. Servants and nobles whispered—sometimes with distaste—about her unfortunate appearance. In truth, the scar had been with her since childhood, so long that she could barely remember a time without it. This made it difficult to relate when others pitied what they saw as the loss of her attractiveness. She wasn’t sure if she would have been considered beautiful without the burn, but the mark certainly hadn’t stopped one of the princes from pursuing her.

At first, interactions with the stern and intimidating Aemond Targaryen were filled with protocol and politeness, the maid barely keeping herself from trembling under his icy gaze. She was sure he silently judged her for having the audacity to wear her disfigurement so openly. Unlike him, who took great care to maintain an air of perfection from head to toe.

Over time, though, the distance between them lessened. Their conversations, initially brief and formal, grew longer and deeper. Walks in the garden and visits to places unfamiliar to her became frequent. Little by little, the physical distance between them shrank, their arms brushing against each other as they walked. Affection developed slowly, yet surely, and she did not hesitate when the prince eventually confessed his feelings for her.

Since then, their affections had deepened, with kisses following, and their relationship blossoming in ways she had never imagined, considering her initial hesitation.

"I'm sorry to have kept you waiting."

With a slight start, the young woman turned and smiled at the Targaryen she had been expecting. As usual, he was dressed in black leather, his hair half-tied back, with both hands clasped behind him.

"It's no problem; I’ve just arrived."

Aemond moved beside her, tentatively taking her wrist and slowly interlacing their fingers, a small smirk on his lips.

"How was your day?"

"Routine, nothing noteworthy," she shrugged. "You’re the highlight."

"Am I?" he asked, raising his only visible eyebrow.

"Of course. Did you have someone else in mind?" she replied, tilting her head playfully.

"Careful, my lady, or I might put you on Vhagar and take you somewhere only I can appreciate you," he teased with a smile.

She gasped, covering her mouth in feigned shock, well aware that his threats were part of their innocent game. She was about to respond when a sudden gust of wind hit them, causing her to hold her hair in place and cover most of her scarred skin.

"You don’t need to hide with me."

Surprised, she looked at him and lowered her hand, shrugging quickly as if it were no big deal.

"Force of habit."

Aemond hesitated, a small muscle near his mouth revealing his thoughts.

"I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable or intrude, but we’ve never discussed our scars."

"Given that we both bear them, the conversation is long overdue."

"Do you want to talk?"

After a moment, she nodded, acknowledging the mark as more significant than the story behind it.

"It was just an accident," she summarized. "At six years old, on a family hunting trip, I encountered one of my cousins. For reasons I don’t understand, we never got along, and on the third day, we fought near a campfire's remnants… I didn’t consider the danger of the hot coals, but I learned when I fell and my face touched them," she shook her head, trembling as the memory of the pain surfaced.

"I'm sorry you went through that," he said sincerely, gently brushing the edge of her burn. "I hope your cousin faced proper consequences. I can’t imagine letting someone go unpunished for hurting you."

Her smile returned as she leaned into his touch, appreciating how comfortable she felt with him now.

"My cousin received some beatings, and the shock left him speechless for five days… He never troubled me again."

"It might be harsh, but he deserved worse."

"It's in the past. Nowadays, we’re good friends. He sends letters and gifts regularly; we care for each other."

"Hm."

She laughed softly, taking both of his hands in hers and affectionately kissing his palm before focusing on him.

"And what about you, my prince?"

Aemond looked down, pressing his lips together in an attempt to hide his sudden anger.

"One of my nephews took my eye with a knife."

"Why?" she asked, frowning.

He smiled bitterly, his pale face reflecting the resentment of the memory.

Impressed by the range of emotions he displayed, she hesitated, unsure whether to give him space or try to soothe him. She chose to remain silent, listening as he spoke of Laena Velaryon, Vhagar, and how his relatives resorted to physical violence instead of just exchanging insults.

"You don’t need to feel sorry for me," he said, lifting his chin in a display of pride. "One day, I’ll have my vengeance."

"Have you held onto that resentment all this time?" she asked sadly, her eyes reflecting her concern.

"Would you forgive someone who…?" he began, ready to defend his desire for retribution, but stopped as he remembered her own experiences.

She tilted her head and released his hands to cradle his face, her thumb gently tracing the end of his scar.

"Your achievements and abilities are impressive; you’ve proven who you are. I wish you could move on and leave the past behind," she murmured, her voice tinged with defeat. "But I understand why it’s hard when everyone forces you to relive it just by looking at you."

Aemond took a deep breath, closing his eyes to calm himself before wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Especially when the one who hurt you still laughs at the jabs he used to throw when he lived here."

"That’s why I don’t judge your feelings. I know every case is different."

"But that doesn’t diminish your opinion."

"Thank you."

With the distant sound of servants passing by, they closed the distance between them, sharing a simple and reserved kiss. They were still getting to know each other, and both adhered strictly to the rules they were raised with, so their physical affection grew gradually as their loyalty deepened.

“Marked by fire and courted by a dragon… I will always be grateful for the fortune of finding you, my destiny.”

[multidimensionalguidance]

Where does your spouse come from? Part 2

This is the continuation of Part 1 where I've mentioned where the 7th house lord can move and how this can give us insights of the country where they might come from (if they are foreigners), and a lot of other details in regards to our romantic partnerships. I've already covered from Aries/1H to Virgo/6H, and will continue with the rest.

Remember to take a look at where your 7th house lord is moving. Where is the planet that rules that sign sitting, and what are other planetary aspects is it receiving as well. Is it in a friendly sign or not? Is the house beneficial or not?

Note: I use sidereal calculations, so for the most accurate results on this it would be preferred for calculations to be adjusted.

First of all, it is always good to start with intuitively choosing the countries you’ve always been curious or lured towards. Cultures you’d like to get to understand and explore! Click this link to look at the dates of independence or incorporation dates of those countries to see if it matches the lord of your 7th house.

Second, please pay EXTRA attention to this descriptions the most if your 7th house lord is in the 9th house or 12th house. Look for the planet or sign that resides there in order to get an even more accurate prediction.

Lastly, even if your 7th house lord falls in any other house, these descriptions will still aid you towards understanding your protentional romantic, business, or any other type of close relationships.

Libra/7H: Turkey, Poland, Amsterdam, Berlin, Panama, Antigua and Barbuda, and Austria all have Sun in Libra. These are some of the countries your spouse might be from or related to through family. They will be very social or at the very least aware of how social dynamics function. They care about their appearance and will feel uncomfortable not presenting themselves within their preferred aesthetics. They will enjoy art or be quite creative themselves, so do expect dates that revolve this sort of activities. Communicating with others in a non-conflictive way is a very big thing, and perhaps it is the way their environment encouraged them to be as well. They will be smooth talkers, and express themselves in a politically correct manner. You might meet them in a place that feels harmonious, in the sense of following a certain aesthetic. Other people might introduce them to you or they might be a small push required from others (or even you) to make them feel comfortable enough with approaching you full force. They could come from places that are pleasing visually, and where people enjoy fine arts. There's a sort of "poshness" to their surroundings that promotes elegance in general, so that will influence them as well. They will enjoy windy weathers and food that looks and taste good (emphasis on the first than the latter). They will have a very good appearance or at the very least maintain a "clean" look. Most of their features will be somewhat softer, and it will be noticeable in their gaze. They use their eyes to attract others, knowingly or not. They'll probably identify the wifey qualities within you quite fast, and will make it known the way they feel. If this house or planet is not heavily afflicted, then finding a business or marriage partner should not be too difficult to achieve at all.

Scorpio/8H: Lebanon, Thailand, Finland, Iceland, Albania, United Arab Emirates, Monaco, Kenya, and Barbados, could be one of the countries that your spouse might be from or enjoy a lot. They will have a secretive/reserved nature which makes them quite alluring. They will come from an environment that encouraged a lot of chaotic changes, and forced them to develop defensive mechanisms that relay on control tactics. Their weather could be as well quite changing in nature or experience many chaotic natural events. You will meet them in private places or within a small gathering. As simple as a small group of friends visiting a beach or river. It could also be after one or both of you just experienced really difficult situations. After some sort of transformation occurred where one or both had to mentally set themselves to heal/grow. You might engage in secret or very close conversations that will allow feelings to develop quickly and intensely. They might enjoy risky situations that drive adrenaline through the roof. Spicy food or heavily relied on meat/protein could be a big part of their diet. You and your partner are prone to being obsessive and desire to control each others feelings to a certain degree, just for the sake of creating a false sense of comfort. This connections will be karmic by nature and sometimes necessary for our growth, so be aware of the difficulties and learn when to let go for your own sake. They might have sharp features, a very intense gaze, and an aura that is felt by others. They are also more prone to having dark hair or eyes. There will also be material growth or a focus towards each others resources, but be mindful to not allow others to use you entirely for financial gains nor attempt to do the same yourself. All of your connections will naturally have darker and taboo themes sitting on the surface to be explored. You will enjoy or have some fixation for each others body, specifically the sexual zones. Chemistry is not the same as connection, so be mindful of that since not everyone is a fit for serious relationships simply because the sexual aspects are very positive.

Sagittarius/9H: UK, Haiti, Brunei, Bulgaria, Qatar, Cuba, Sudan, Slovenia, and Kazakhstan are some of the countries where they might be from or strongly feel connected to for some way. They are adventurous, restless, optimistic, funny, well cultured, and spiritual in some way. They might come from environments that are very traditionally tied to religion or spiritual institutions, temples, etc. They might be used to being perceived or surrounded by foreigners as well, which allows them to adapt easily to others and be familiar with different languages. You'll meet in an airport, temples, university or education areas, ceremonies (like a wedding), legal departments, at a bank, etc. They'll enjoy going to different places, be it doing sports, trying new cuisines, and overall just staying busy. You both will most likely travel together, or there might be some distance between the two of you at some point. This is a connection that will broaden your horizons and allow you both to evolve spiritually. Their appearance will be different from your native country, so they will definitely be a foreigner with looks that make them stand out. Expect them to be tall, possibly have green eyes and/or to be fit. They might love horses or learned how to ride horses when they were young. You might become more spiritual or devoted to a religion after meeting them or after marriage. Your partner/spouse will definitely be traditional, even if they have an open mind and avoid placing judgement on situations they are unfamiliar with. They will pay extra attention to your thighs and butt, so don't be surprise if they stare too hard or mention it directly. You are both going to push each other to achieve a higher awareness or consciousness. The laughs and jokes will also be plenty as well, and that will help a lot when dealing with any difficulties in the relationship, but just make sure to not sweep things under the rug.

Capricorn/10H: Buenos Aires, Singapore, Romania, New Zealand, Grenada, and Nauru might be some of the countries your partner/spouse might be from or have a connection with. They are responsible, career oriented, structured, service oriented, grounded, and the type to show their love by actions rather than words. They might come from environments that were rough or challenging to be around, in the sense that the weather or people could be harsh to deal with. People might think they're older than his actual age, and not necessarily due to appearance but the way they think, speak, move, and behave. They simply have a very mature personality and this is mainly because they had to grow up fast and their parents were probably very demanding or not as present as they should have. Expect them to be around people that have authority or coworkers. You might meet them in governmental institutions or spaces, abandoned places, a city hall, at work, at the chiropractors, and overall in any public space. They probably prefer to eat the same type of food with little variety, but they like high quality places that feel and look luxurious. Your connection will be karmic by nature and initially might feel too serious or difficult. Now, it does promise longevity and growth towards your career, profession, and status. Your partner/spouse will enjoy his work a lot and socializing with people as well, but despite the fame or notoriety they might have they'll enjoy being alone with you the most. They will be the type to externally seem very outgoing, yet actually prefer being introverted or away from the public, an this happens due to the excessive time that they invest in working with others. In terms of appearance, they might be medium in heigh, have a sharp gaze, strong legs, and brown/dark colored eyes. There's a good chance they'll be older than you, if not in age, then definitely in their way of thinking or seeing life. You might end up meeting their parents soon in the relationship as well. The both of you will have to put some necessary efforts to make the relationship work, as there will be challenges in the way. The relationship will be very public or known by others even if you both try to be lowkey about it, so be careful to not allow others to get in the way.

Aquarius/11H: Lithuania, Saint Lucia, Ghana, Dominican Republic, Wales, Estonia and Kuwait are some of the countries they might be from or associated to in some way. They'll be independent, creative, innovative, cunning, friendly yet introverted, and have many niche interest. Their environment might have random and unexpected weather changes, which fits their own nature as well. It's likely their surroundings taught them to be flexible, open minded, and comfortable with being themselves. They will be very experimental with their food, and might even have a bit of an odd yet interesting taste. Their preference in music will be *chef's kiss* so you'll be adding their playlist to your favorites and sharing music often. You might meet them through your friends, the internet, social media, networking circle, NGO's, charities, inside an airplane, at a tech facility, or at any big events. They'll be popular and probably well known by others, be it because of their impressive skills or simply for who they are. They are the type to be very close to their friends and alliances because thanks to them they are able to progress through life. You will learn the value of being part of a community and planning long term towards your future investments. You will both pursue your dreams and long term goals together. They might be the type to give you many gifts in all shapes and form. Surprising you and putting a smile on your face with their quirks will always be a goal for them. In terms of appearance they might look different, but not in a bad way, rather that there is something about them that makes them look like they do not belong to this world. One of the main themes of your relationships will be about independence and freedom. Your partner/spouse does not like to feel restricted or boxed in, so if you're the clingy type then the more negative aspects might show up with them pulling away or putting some distance. Communication is essential in all relationships, but with your partner it will be even more so. They will prefer you to be straight forward and blunt, even if it might seem rude, but do no worry because they are experts at listening, understanding, and finding a solution.

Pisces/12H: Hungary, Ireland, Iran, Greece, Denmark, and Pakistan are some of the countries that they might be related or connected to in some way. They'll be dreamy, artistic, inspirational, bubbly, and very physic. Their environment might have been uprooted in spiritual or religious beliefs, similarly to Sagittarius/9H, but the difference is that they are more likely to follow those traditions to such depths that it might lead them to "lose" themselves or develop escapist intentions behind it. They might have visited temples or churches growing up, so they are usually very accepting of others. In terms of the physical surroundings they might have grown around big sources of water (lakes, beaches, ponds, etc) or visited them often. If they are not allergic to any sea food, then they will eat it a lot. They enjoy their privacy and despite their ability to camouflage in different groups they will only confide the most in themselves or you. You might meet them a church, temple, a club, close to large bodies of water, foreign lands, hospital, asylum, or even places where they legally sell recreational dr*gs. There will be a sense of mystery or unknown in the relationship, where you or your partner feel as if you're unsure where the connection is leading which might be confusing. They might have a history of using substances or doing things that are not seen well by the law. You will feel like despite their past and background it is easy for you to look past it all and be very understanding with them. There's a need for being careful of not allowing the relationship to become a vicious cycle where you encourage each others bad habits, insecurities, etc. In terms of appearance, they will have eyes that almost look half asleep in some way and that makes them seem seductive in a way. They might be tall or medium height, fit or slender, have curly hair, and use glasses. You will both feel like the connection is fated or destined in some way. There might also be a distance between the two of you at some point, be it because you both live in different places, a loss in the relationship, meaning going separate ways to eventually get back together, or to stay separated. Either way, if there is no harsh affliction or malefices then despite everything you will both become very spiritual and psychic together. You will feel like communicating telepathically is very much real, and it will be common for you both to dream often of each other. This is the type of connection that you don't ever forget about and that teaches you a lot about the parts of yourself that you might not see. The connection will show you both the good, bad, and wonderful that exists within each other.

[cyb3rtarot]

A Peep Into the New Year: 2024 Pick a Pile

Disclaimer: Happy New Year! We’re looking at something to reflect on from the closed year, experiences you may have this year, and a theme for 2024. The experiences are not necessarily in chronological order! Tarot readings are not replacements for professional advice. I’m reading what I see and feel in the current energy, which can change. Your thoughts, energy, and actions are what creates destiny, not the reading!

pile 1⛧pile 2⛧pile 3 pile 4⛧pile 5⛧pile 6

🎆

Pile 1:

Something to Reflect On [Nine of Swords rx, Keeping Up]: hello pile one! You guys really struggled with mental health or neurodivergence last year or for a few years leading up to this year. You may have adopted a defeatist attitude or found it incredibly hard to progress in life. Day to day tasks to take care of yourself may have been difficult. Reflect on the ways you have faced this challenge, even when it seemed impossible. Some of this pile has overcome this. For example, if you had depression, you may no longer be depressed (or it’s not as severe). Others of you are still fighting, but you’ve still exerted a great effort to keep afloat and face anxieties. You should pat yourselves on the back for the ways you’ve advanced—the ways you’ve kept yourself alive even when it was hard. There is a forward momentum you’re carrying into the new year, and it was created with much effort.

A Peep into the New Year… 

You guys will be presented with something from the past, and you will have to choose whether to invest your energy into it. This could be people, past situations you never got closure on, environments, and especially habits. The main thing about this opportunity is that it seems like you guys’ first thought will be to jump back into it. Maybe it “feels” right so you don’t think about it much, or you’re so used to doing it that you just go right along with it the second you get the chance. This situation seems very interesting from your perspective; there’s a strong pull towards it. The cards are not really indicating that this is a definite good or bad thing, it seems neutral or like it can go either way. The card to especially focus on is “impulsiveness.” Regardless of whether this is good or bad, make sure to think about your actions before agreeing to anything (Tiwaz emphasizes making sound decisions). Reflect on ingrained habits and thought patterns that you feed into without a second thought. Impulsiveness can also refer to the nature of the situation; an opportunity may come out of nowhere. How we invest our energy determines who we are and how we grow. We are more likely to remain in old mindsets when we constantly give energy to what has already ended, and only you can decide what from your past belongs in the future. [Impulsiveness (Mars in Aries, 1st house), Curiouser and Curiouser, the World rx, Uncertainty rx, Tiwaz rune]

For some time , you may find yourself absorbed in spirituality or developing new beliefs (for many of you this has already started). This seems like a positive change, however it may take up a lot of your time. You may use your inner or spiritual world as an escape; many of you feel dependent or stifled in a situation. You are being encouraged to dream big (for physical reality too), and use this time to thoroughly plan for life and yourself. Make sure there is a balance between being absorbed in your inner world, and sometimes coming out of that shell to make your dreams real. At some point in this journey you may feel very restless, and that can prompt some of the impulsive behavior mentioned above. Don’t judge yourself for moving too “slowly” or having big dreams, but still make an honest effort towards balancing those dreams/beliefs with reality. You’re also encouraged to maintain balance in how this plays out in your relationships. Don’t despair if someone doesn’t understand you, but also don’t take someone’s word as gospel just because you feel an affinity with them. [Vision (Sun in Pisces, 12th house), Use Your Time Well rx, nine of pentacles sideways, Justice] 

There’s a lot of hope and knowledge surrounding you this year. You’ll be interested in making dreams reality and will want to pursue something new for yourself. I say “for yourself” as there’s an emphasis on this being centered around you. You may approach things with the best-case scenario in mind; this will serve you well. There’s opportunity to be recognized as an individual or for something you do, or this is a hope of yours. There may be interest in physically going somewhere to seize this opportunity (more so farther destinations or longer trips). You will be geared towards learning new things (especially in higher ed or a similar place), working towards recognition of your skills, or starting a personal project. If there are issues at home, I see you or your relatives remaining positive in the face of this adversity (this may also be a familial opportunity, or a family member might receive public attention). You may feel a little lost [in the sauce]. If you’ve delved into spirituality, you might feel disconnected or unsure of your new beliefs. This could be a period where you have to focus on your own ingenuity, wits, and can-do rather than giving it all to your belief system. This can also apply to family. There may be decreased communication with them, or someone moving away. However confusing, this is a more fortunate period of the year. [Optimism (Moon in Sagittarius, 9th house), the Moon, Nature Communication rx, Publicity (Jupiter in Leo, 5th house)]

Overall Theme for the New Year [the Empress, Defense (Mars in Taurus, 2nd house]: the year is going to put you in situations where you’ll have to sit in your confidence and inner security—or develop this—especially to hone impulse control. There are tangible blessings to experience, but you may find yourself being questioned or challenged by those around you, and you yourself may feel antsy to get what you want right away. Rely on your endurance and resilience to get through uncertainties or challenges as you go towards your goals. 

The Empress dons her armor with her few loyal knights by her side. Though she is under siege, she rides into battle smiling. Victory is obviously in her hand. After many bloody hours, the sun sets on the quieted field. The Empress stands tall on her hill, ever smiling, ever the empress, barely scathed. The sun glints off her helmet as it settles beneath the horizon.

Possible examples (but not limited to…): an ex contacting you or trying to rekindle, old friends wanting to hang out, going back to places you used to frequent, snooping on or investigating someone’s social media, someone from the past starting an argument or pettiness against you,  sudden travel opportunity (especially for school), living with parents or a partner, wanting to move out, pressure to get a job, spiritual scammers/predatory spiritual teachers, family strife, getting accepted into a program, publishing art or research, seeking a career in the arts/academia/spirituality, a new spiritual practice or a leap in pre-existing abilities (especially divination and clairvoyance), meditating frequently, interpreting dreams or lucid dreaming, family on the news, building your portfolio or resume

Extra Details: a change in sleep patterns (going both ways, some could be sleeping less due to increased energy and some of you are finally resting more after a period of poor sleep), mental hospitals, marine biology, Jupiter or Mars as a very prominent planet in the natal or 2023/24 solar return chart, bright colored eyes, high hopes, charm casting, spiritual businesses, loves cartoons or wants to be an animator, brothers, the Star may be a significant card for you or both 2023 + 2024 may be very healing years, moving to a coastal/lakeside area (or wanting to), 12th house profection yr

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Pile 2:

Something to Reflect On [Acquisition (Sun in Taurus, 2nd house), the Star]: hi pile two! You can reflect on how your relationship to the physical world has changed. It seems finances or another form of physical comfort was a big focus last year. You’ve either made big strides in these areas or you’ve done healing work on your mindset (for example, focusing on gratitude and optimism about what you have and want). This could refer to your body as well, if you’ve healed or learned better ways to cope with a condition. Or, it could refer to how you physically relate to others, in any kind of affectionate relationship. Now’s a time to see how changes in your outlook have granted you comfort and opportunity, and congratulate yourselves for any big gains. Many of you have sacrificed other parts of your life for this, and now it’s time to focus on how you can increase wellbeing in all areas instead of just the physical.

A Peep into the New Year…:

Some of the year will be particularly good for work or school. You will naturally excel in these or things will flow more smoothly. Especially if you have to pay attention to a lot of details, or if you provide a service to others. However, you may feel disconnected from your environment. For many of you, this refers to the natural environment, but it could also refer to the world or other environments you frequent. This will be a natural byproduct of whatever you’re pursuing at the time (school/work/etc). You could feel trapped or restless, possibly wanting to quit. If this is referring to the world at large, you may feel guilty or defeatist, like no humanitarian or environmental efforts you do will ever be enough. It’s important to take care of your mental health—much of this is from anxiety rather than reflecting the world around you. Bringing something natural into your home/workplace could be beneficial (plants, stones, seashells etc), as well as decorating with things from home if you feel homesick. You may enjoy gardening (especially veggies). Find parks or natural areas where you are, or spend time intentionally finding things you like about your surroundings. If you feel stuck at home rather than away from it, any small thing to change your scenery could help (going outside more, switching your lounging area, etc). Some of you may feel disappointed if you can’t make a long trip somewhere, but consider if a short trip is possible. If you feel humanitarian guilt, volunteering with an immediate, tangible effect can be encouraging (litter cleanup/soup kitchens etc). [Discrimination (Venus in Virgo, 6th house), Nature Communication rx, the Wheel of Fortune, Eight of Swords]

You guys are giving imposter syndrome. You may be in a learning environment where you feel like you don’t belong. You’ll go through the motions and try to adapt through every situation. You might feel like you have to keep your wits about you or always be prepared to say the “right” thing to keep up an image. This can make you feel out of control. But, you’re supposed to be learning; you’re not supposed to know everything. Allow yourself space to grow and make mistakes; don’t depend on someone else to give that or take it away. Feeling anxious or uneasy during a learning curve is natural and doesn't mean you’re a fraud or bad person. Most everyone experiences this. Establish a sense of inner security, or take time to remind yourself of things you’ve aced. For a lot of you, this may be about intimacy; you may feel nervous about navigating closeness with another. You may be more likely to notice everything you’re doing wrong or feel awkward about your performance in the relationship. Communicate with your partner! With the Influence card, your words may come across particularly sweet or sensical during this time, so don’t be afraid  to talk about how you feel (whether with a partner, coworkers, teachers, peers, etc). You can learn much from others. [Bluff (Jupiter in Gemini, 3rd house), the Emperor rx, Kenaz, Influence (Mercury in Libra, 7th house)]

Finally, I see this pile going through an extremely transformative period. This seems to not be from anything directly identifiable; you may not be able to place where this transformation started or what spurred it. This is likely an internal change (that’s not to say external ones won’t also occur, but the cards are pointing to your inner world). You might wake up one day and realize you’re very different, or that you’re changing but don’t know why. This transformation could be centered around your beliefs or self concept. For example, you may feel like you’re stepping into your power, or like you’ve remembered who you and the people around you are. For those that believe in past lives, you may remember a pattern that’s played out in other lives, or you may remember someone in this life has been with you in another. For many of you this could be influenced by a relationship, but mostly, this is about some change of power within you. The cards are neutral; this can play out in any way.  Because of the “manipulation” card, it’s important to make sure that others are not taking away your freedoms and that you’re maintaining a sense of authority over yourself. You may not notice a change at first, but that doesn’t mean you can’t take control of the transformation once you do see it. [Manipulation (Jupiter in Scorpio, 8th house), Choices rx, Eight of Wands sideways, Past Lives/(the Moon)]

Overall Theme for the New Year [Status (Jupiter in Taurus, 2nd house), ten of swords rx]: if last year was focused on material security then I see this continuing in the upcoming year. Either way, the year will bring attention to your physical world and the blessings it has to offer. You will not only be focused on security, but also be prompted to enjoy what you have already created, especially if you began projects, jobs, studies, or other ambitions last year. You may find more comfort in material things than usual, such as a lot of shopping or eating new foods (it may be easy to overindulge!). Many of you are on the younger side getting your first “real” or serious job, so this may be excitement caused by a stable source of income. There is recognition for what you tangibly contribute to your environment. You will be valued in the groups you’re in or will feel empowered to find such a space. If your job or studies involve a lot of verbal speaking (such as public speaking, pitching ideas), this in particular could be very beneficial or encouraged (this makes some of you anxious, it’s ok!). However, this extends to all forms of communication. If you are in a committed relationship, your partner may also experience similar blessings. Make sure to clearly communicate with them and keep an eye on power dynamics in the relationship. This year will prompt you to re-evaluate what you’ve carried from your past, though I feel this is the distant past. Like mindsets you started developing in childhood, but this can extend to past lives if you believe in them.

The monarchs stand on the balcony of their castle. On one side they can see a vast green hill rolling towards the woods. On the other side, their small but stunning kingdom. Their hearts swell, because they have built this kingdom with their own two hands. They have helped put the people’s homes together, they have farmed food themselves. It has not always been easy to safeguard a kingdom against the shifting forces of nature, but they’ve done it. Dawn illuminates the fruit of their labor.

Possible examples (but not limited to…): missing your hometown, living in an urban area/spending all day indoors and wishing to be in nature, troubles going back home (for example, wanting to go back but your family telling you to keep at it), living on your own for the first time (especially at a distance from family, some are wanting to study abroad), volunteering, mutual aid, community work, humanitarian jobs (non-profit?), crystals (some of you do a spiritual practice with crystals at night?), feeling uncertain about beliefs, working on a team or group project, relationship or work anxiety, a “frog in pot” situation (a situation that degrades so slowly that you don’t notice), recognition in school or work, changing your self beliefs & self concept, a change to self esteem, past life memories/spiritual work, working on relationship confidence, developing parts of yourself you’ve neglected (especially anything set aside while working on physical security), big life events that are outside your control but have a direct impact on you, career/academic advancement/promotion, internships, a work crush or relationship from a job (careful lol), or a relationship with someone you once worked with, visiting loved ones at work, nostalgia or deja-vu

Extra Details: basketball, football, STEM or business (for STEM i’m getting technology or tech-business), family home is two stories and/or on a property with a large yard/backyard, recognizing people from past lives, fairytale love, Mercury as a prominent planet in your profection year or solar return, a romantic or intimate relationship carrying over from this year to the next, manifestation/law of assumption, friend or partner who works as an artist, some of you like the little mermaid or mermaid stories (or you feel like Ariel), a partner in a noticeably higher position/financial status than you and may live with them (you guys in particular should pay attention to power dynamics)—yall please LEAVE if somebody “decides” you should not talk to or go out with your friends & family (even if those people are bothersome to you that’s YOUR decision to make)

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Pile 3:

Something to Reflect On [Investigate, Justice sideways]: hello pile three! You are being called to evaluate how you allocate your energy. Most of this pile puts a ton of energy into specific tasks to the point where they don’t have a lot left for themselves or other areas. Specifically, I am getting most of you may be taken advantage of by the people in your life, and that this isn’t something you readily notice. This varies per individual. People might ask a lot of favors from you, and because you think it’s your duty or obligation, you always fulfill them. Maybe this is a family member who expects you to always be there to do certain tasks no matter what you have going on (a lot of you seem to have a really stern guardian figure). This could be a partner who places a lot of emotional or domestic burdens on you. It could be a workplace. Whatever the situation, the main message here is to think about it, but then reflect on it again. I think a lot of you aren’t as critical of this behavior as you could be, which is why you have to really evaluate if the ways you spend energy are detrimental to other areas of life. As Justice is sideways, some of you are not necessarily in such a situation, but now is a good time for you to evaluate how balanced you really are. Either way, you are also being prompted to really think about what you’re going to do if adjustments are needed; don’t fly off the handle or impulsively react.

A very specific message is some of you may be victims of shady or criminal behavior (already happened). I’m not getting anything huge, but you’re asked to really find the facts of the situation and not blindly accept convenient stories. Some of you may live with others and may have noticed a lot of your items or money going missing? I don’t usually write out the phrases on the oracle cards, but yours says: “look closely, ask questions, think before acting.” Some of you may be part of ongoing investigations, in which case this is referring to that. 

A Peep into the New Year…: 

There is a mental transformation, almost an awakening of sorts. This will be a development of your inner guidance, intuition, or sense. You will be pushed to see that you can in fact trust yourself, and that you have enough wisdom (or the capacity to develop it) to navigate life with your own will. The imagery on the cards with your rune suggests an integration. I feel this part of your mind has always been present, however you may be the kind of person to frequently second guess yourself or to think your own ideas/advice inferior to others (or perhaps others have tried to mentally dominate you and replace your ideas with theirs). Whatever your situation, your inner “knowing” and wisdom will be coming forth to join your conscious decision-making skills. But, it seems you will mentally resist this, or that this period may be confusing to you. You may feel scatter-brained, anxious, or confused a lot (if this becomes very distressing then I encourage you to access any accessible mental health resources). Perhaps you feeling this way is actually what is going to trigger the transformation. You will need to give yourself a lot of grace to evolve your mind. You may try to logically find solutions to problems or continue using old thought patterns, but this period is going to push different ways of thinking you're not used to. For example, if you always try to make very rational choices, you may need to think creatively or factor in gut feelings to arrive at a good decision. You may find yourself being questioned by those close to you who don’t understand your thinking, and this may require diplomatic communication. Overall, your mental activities can guide you to a good place, but it’s a matter of trusting your own guidance—even if others belittle your ability to think for yourself. [Flattery (Venus in Gemini, 3rd house), Guidance, Dagaz, Queen of Swords rx]

I feel this experience is related to the above and for many it will co-occur; I also see a period where you have mental resistance up. The ideals, compromises, and decisions you have chosen to live with will be under a magnifying glass. Mental routine and comfort will be challenged as you re-evaluate what your beliefs are, especially about yourselves. What are your values, what can you endure to live a more fulfilling life? Some of you have a tendency to get or stay in situations where external forces (mainly people) have a lot of control over your life; codependency. If so, this energy is related to that, especially if this describes your family life. There’s a lot of stubborn or slow-moving energy here; many of you may try to dismiss the questions or changes that are knocking at your door. You may use the physical to distract you, like your daily routine or job. At the same time, if you aspire to change, you may have to defend yourself against others a lot. This could encourage that slow-moving energy, as you may feel tense if challenged by others. Overall, this is a time of endurance. Allow slow, steady adjustments to your mindset + reality as you determine who you are and what you want. [Resistance (Mercury in Taurus, 2nd house), Forget Who You Are rx, I Want to Be a Queen rx, seven of wands]

Lastly, I see you will eventually be called to act upon the ideas you have developed during your transformation—putting your plans into action. With Mercury in cardinal Earth paired with the knight of mind, there will be a drive and ambition to realize the reality you’ve been pining for. The energy here is that no matter what, you're committing to the course you’ve set, regardless of people or obstacles. This time period will pass judgment on what you've been contemplating for so long—the reality you have been imagining yourself in during the more stagnant parts of the year (and maybe last year as well?) While I do feel like most of this will be coming from your own willpower, with the major arcana, you may be presented with some kind of opportunity or circumstance that will further empower you. This may come after you take the first steps to move towards what you want. This could be about pursuing something in your career or material path, but I think it will extend into any part of your life that you've spent a ton of time thinking about. This period will remind you that dreams are not necessarily reality, yet they guide reality once you are ready to do something. If you did experience tense relationships with family or others throughout the year, I see you getting more of a handle on this and feeling more prepared to take on their challenging words (not that you have to keep going back and forth with these people). [Organization (Mercury in Capricorn, 10th house), Fighting, Judgement, two of wands rx]

Overall Theme for the New Year [Idealism (Sun in Aquarius, 11th house), the Hanged Man]: this year is about radical changes in perspective. Not only can you dare to dream, but you can also dare to make those dreams reality. Your mind is precious—protect and use it as much as possible. You may have had a complicated relationship with your desires & dreams in the past. Maybe others' pessimism affected you, and 2024 will prompt you to challenge limiting beliefs you’ve absorbed. This is a year where you realize that your hopes don’t have to detract from real life, they can be the seeds. Friends and community are especially significant in your 2024 energy.

A smile sits on the face of this philosopher, though this is not a title they chose for themselves. The symposium has hushed into suspicious and questioning tones, eyes on the philosopher who has not even said much at all. But what they have said, well, where do they get off? Their ideas are certainly not from here. They speak of a fantasy world where things are better than they are and the status quo is rudely disregarded. Where equality and fairness are true and not only words. The wise men furrow their brows and think, “foolish youth.” The philosopher explains nothing more; what is understood does not have to be explained. But, the seeds are sown. Quietly, in the hearts of the eternally foolish, the design of a better world is constructed.

Possible examples (but not limited to…): feeling called towards a job or interest but others around you not agreeing, feeling pulled towards many different directions, unsure of your “calling,” realizing something you want for yourself, changing your beliefs (especially about your role in the world, or about social expectations such as gender roles?), or a period where you’re interested in new beliefs but you try to deny this interest. Standing your ground, finding strategic ways to communicate with those around you (including ways to keep plans to yourself). At one point (or now) you may be wanting to escape or move far away, but later in the year you may actually lose interest in this or want to move somewhere that’s not as far. Career developments or planning, personal projects, applying to jobs or networking (part of this may feel discouraging or stagnant but don’t lose hope!), you may feel more connected to animals or nature this year (especially if you live in a wooded area), starting a business (especially with friends—crafts/handmade items? Or you might go to artists fairs & markets), working a “not as serious” or part-time job while you plan for a business/career, saving money

Extra Details: naivety, law enforcement or court case, some of you have info about a case you have not brought to the investigators? (I’m not giving legal advice here lol it just came to mind). Specific family member that’s very domineering (especially over you), though I am getting this is a pattern in your other relationships too (for some this person has no/almost no water placements in their natal chart? They could have very bright blue eyes). You may bite your tongue a LOT with this person but this is changing for many (possibly some arguments with them). Some of y’all really like peanut/nut butter 😭? Interest in the arts (or another field that’s not respected) that you’ve never seriously pursued, hiding your interest in artistic or “childish” things, coming from a conservative culture, the main one doing housework, having to be very observant of someone’s behavior to know the “right way” to talk to them so the conversation doesn’t go south? This pile has a way with words, like you naturally phrase things figuratively or poetically. “The time is now bitch, the time is now!! The war’s already started!!” Breaking Bad? Nature themed or inspired art. Mercury may be very important or aspected in the natal chart (possibly solar return as well to a lesser extent). 11th house may be prominent too

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Pile 4:

Something to Reflect On [the Tower, Queen of Pentacles]: hi pile 4! In this past year or the one before, something major shook up your life. Something shook your sense of security to the core. It challenged the notion of control, and you’ve had to rebuild it from the ground up. This feels like something that came out of nowhere, a life event that you know could happen to anyone but you either don’t expect it to happen to you when it does or it’s something you can’t plan for (like a sudden death/illness, breakup out of nowhere, houselessness/kicked out, I keep thinking you felt “dethroned”). As the Queen of Pentacles came after the tower and this pile had a very calming energy when I connected to you, you guys have started to or already come to terms with what happened. You’re picking up the pieces and getting back on your inner throne, though many of you are still dealing with the fallout of these circumstances. You guys should appreciate how far you’ve come in your inner world, or at least your amazing and impressive endurance. I don’t know why but there’s an emphasis on complimenting your endurance lol, the word “honorable” came to mind. This pile seems to have been through something incredibly hard (maybe on a physical level) that a lot of people would have folded under. Some of you had an opportunity to get out using shady means (like cheating or harming others, going against some kind of morals) and in the end you decided to stay by your integrity. This pile should really appreciate themselves, as you’re the one who has carried yourself through the tough storms.

A Peep into the New Year…:

At least one part of the year, if not the whole year, will feel jam-packed with a lot of different things happening. This is a blessed time where by your own willpower, abilities, and individuality, you’ll be able to receive something beautiful. I hear “convenience,” so, very convenient opportunities may come your way. Someone else could help arrange a blessing, or something could come into your life that makes it easier, but this is because of who you are as a person. This period may feel like a dream, like the Sun coming out after the clouds held it hostage. Things will happen that will help you to feel reconnected with life and the universe—your role in the scheme of things—and they may happen close together. This may be a little disorienting, so try incorporating some grounding practices into your life, or something that addresses feelings of disconnect (ex, meditation). I am also seeing a relationship focused on sensuality. This is new for most of you and may be with someone you already know. The relationship may begin with the help of someone else (maybe someone introduced you). This doesn’t seem to be the main event though; this relationship is one thing and the blessings I was talking about are another. Throughout everything, it’s highly emphasized to maintain your individuality. Either through the relationship or other things happening, you may feel the need to change yourself, or feel like a cog in the machine. The new developments could feel tiresome or too much for you. On a physical level, it may be a lot (especially if you have a job including manual labor/moving things). Not only do you need to take care of your body + needs, but also remember your uniqueness is needed. You’re not a spare part; you don’t need to be shaped to conform like others. Growing and changing is great, but the greatness comes from authenticity and the beauty of your specific path. Not from making yourself something you’re not. Alternatively, you may already be living like this and grow tired of it. [Fortune (Sun in Leo, 5th house), Existence, Such a Curious Dream rx, Romance (Venus in Taurus, 2nd house), Conditioning, Exhaustion]

Possibly related to the tiredness I mentioned, there may be a time where things seem totally out of your control—as if the wheel of life is turning and not waiting for you to catch up. There are bigger forces here, like institutions or other people that have control & importance over you. For example, higher education, local/state governments, the legal system. Something will stress you out, possibly news or the lack of agency you feel. This seems like a life pattern for this pile; it could trigger old feelings of lacking control. The unique qualities you have are what helps you move through these times, not what hinders you. The last card says “you will make it through this.” This period is bringing a cycle to the end (ten of swords was on the bottom of the deck); don’t catastrophize. The wheel of life is constantly turning, but you are also part of the wheel. I don’t know what it is about this pile but over and over your cards are pointing out how your individuality and the unique way your life has played out is your strength through all things (one of your cards says “there are not many like you!”). There may be a few things going on during this period that you have to juggle or prioritize over something you really wanted to do. A kind relationship with yourself is your foundation to face the world. The relationships around you will also be important, and may be one of the things making your life feel odd at this time (this news could be developments in a friend’s life). Maintaining bonds, internal and external, will create small blessings as you work towards peace. [Friendship (Moon in Cancer, 4th house), You Are Rare and Free, the Emperor rx, Shine Bright Like a Candle, Raidho rune]

Not every single oracle card referencing relationships I’m soo 😭. In fact, in every experience I read for you guys, something came out about relationships or loving someone. So obviously lol, companionships of all kinds are a large focus. This person (or people) will challenge you to close one of the constant cycles in your life—something regarding communication. Many of you have struggled to authentically communicate, possibly in regards to whatever it is about your individuality that keeps coming out. Maybe you tried to downplay or pretend in your relationships, and this has perpetuated a toxic loop (ex, if you are disabled, you may have downplayed the level of support you need). Your relationships will prompt you to be true, to see if you are up to the task of presenting yourself with all your lumps & bumps and saying, “here I am,” instead of, “don’t look at me.” They will also prompt you to rethink the role you play in healthy communication. You might have downplayed how you felt about others, like pretending to accept things you weren’t okay with. How this plays out will be different for everyone; maybe you will be with someone who understands you easily for once. It could be someone who understands you as long as you actually say something. Or, you may have to speak up for yourself and work through that struggle. Whatever the case, there’s an opportunity to grow through care & intimacy. You got another Sun card—the most fortuitous suite in the deck—so there’s a positive connotation to your bonds. With the Sun, Venus, and Moon all here (and the 2nd, 7th, and 9th house), I think these will be very compelling or fulfilling. You may interact a lot with someone who expands your worldview. But, even if someone is so close they feel telepathic, remember to still communicate and be conscious of cycles! [Acquisition (Sun in Taurus, 2nd house), Flirtation (Venus in Sagittarius, 9th house), Companionship (Moon in Libra, 7th house), Knight of Swords rx, the World]

Overall Theme for the New Year [Beyond Illusion, two of wands]: there's a strong emphasis on “dream-like” feelings this year. You may feel disoriented in the currents of life. You can either put your focus into the ever-changing external world and try to find your footing in those currents, or you can develop your stronghold in your inner world. By turning inward and looking at yourself without the outer noise, you can figure out what makes your soul feel good. You can learn more about yourself, what you’re capable of, and continue to develop security that cannot be washed away by what people say or do. When you only focus on the external, you focus on reacting. When you focus on the internal, you simply are, and you find the source of things.

A stray wanderer stands at the crossroads of themselves. To go left is to dream, where all the world resides. To go right is to wake up, to be with oneself, but not alone. Neither road promises soft steps nor uncalloused feet; a journey it will be either way. The wanderer is not hurried; all of eternity unfolds at the crossroads. They sit in the fork of the path and meditate.

Possible examples (but not limited to…): international travel, a tiring job (especially physically), shedding personas, increase in meditation, dreams, or spirituality, journaling/returning to journaling. A new lover, friends w/ benefits, or increased physical affection in a current relationship, someone giving you something or helping you to show appreciation, an arranged date, challenges to enjoying new things (ex, you travel but feel discouraged by how tiring it is due to health issues. So instead of telling those who want to be with you to go without you, maybe ask for a day of rest once you arrive). Going on hikes, camping, new activities in nature. Developments or news about something with the government or legal system (some kind of welfare, legal case? ), someone close moving away (especially for school), deciding to be friends instead of partners (this theme came out twice, you may flip flop between romance & friendship), very specific but someone you know may be worried about doing time or may get out of prison. Having to prioritize responsibility over a hobby or relationship, applying to school or for government assistance. Relationships that brings financial blessings or gifts, shedding old beliefs about relationships

Another very specific message: you may start or be in a relationship with a barista, bartender, or waiter. They may have an interesting relationship with money, like being very frugal or super generous. They may have a stocky build, very active (or you are and they contrast that). Even if they work with alcohol some do not drink at all. They may drink black coffee or tea instead. Some of them hoard.

Extra Details: living in a car, more life experience than other piles (age wise there are more people in their 30s+), house fire or having to escape your house in the past, partner suddenly kicked you out, living with parents, frosted flakes? Wanting children (or more) but unsure how this will work. Getting back on one’s feet, feeling excited or anticipating (especially about a job), health issues affecting work or that you got from work. You could think poetically/ metaphorically. A strong, solid, compelling energy when you embrace yourself. Don’t be flippant with birth control or protection even if you think you’re not fertile, especially with new, untested partners. Azealia Banks (212), Nicki Minaj. Strong Leo and fixed placement energy [at least in 2024], a person very in-tune with nature or who works with the environment (this could be you but seems more like someone you’ll get to know. Park ranger?) Wearing or using something special at work (an accommodation?). Disabilities, chronic illness/injuries (especially cerebral palsy or burns). Adult or spooky cartoons. Getting out of prison, probation, halfway house. The Lich (“I am the ceaseless wheel”), visual arts/making crafts (wanting to go to school for it; struggling to make time). Not completing or struggling in education, reading & speaking troubles (stutters?). Feeling perceived as uneducated or ineloquent, so you come up with unique ways to be understood. The way things go- beabadoobee (might remind you of your communication troubles).

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Pile 5:

Something to Reflect On [Endurance (Sun in Scorpio, 8th house), Resistance (Mercury in Taurus, 2nd house), Knight of Cups rx]: hi pile five! You guys really had to defend yourself last year? Or this is a trend in your life. Earlier in the year (or life) you expected and sought support from loved ones but in the end you had to protect yourself from those people, or you were in a struggle with them. Either because of incompatibility or underlying issues (mental, emotional, etc) you had to rescind your relationship with them, or they became an adversary to you. This could represent a breakup (any kind) or family relations, but one to two people in particular are getting highlighted (such as a love interest and also a parent figure). You should appreciate how you’ve shown up for yourself and survived—congratulate yourself for being strong even when you shouldn’t have had to be. Especially because this experience seemed to be very transformative or harsh. But, also analyze the ways this could've pushed you into a shell. There may be harmful habits you picked up in order to survive (especially in communication, for example being very defensive, closed off. You might struggle with snapping at people or feeling attacked). 

A specific message for some is you may have spent a lot of time pursuing someone who didn’t want you. You expected them to eventually come around if you kept at it? And you are called to reflect on different aspects of that, such as respect for your own time and others’ boundaries.

A Peep into the New Year…:

A portion of the year will be defined by communication or having a lot of ideas at once. This has to do with a conventional institution: school, jobs, marriage, religion, etc. You might be thinking of tons of different things you want to do but find it hard to settle on one or know what’s needed to accomplish your goals. There’s a lot of energy but not necessarily a lot of focus, more so planning, brainstorming, & communicating. These ideas might be centered on how you can be of service to the world, your life path, or how you can pursue a conventional route while putting your own spin on it. A specific message for some is you could want to pursue something that’ll help animals/the environment, or a humanitarian role (this could be anything from veganism to getting a non-profit job, etc). You may receive news about an engagement or marriage. If the institution does refer to religion, you could be very vocal about your beliefs at this time, but might get mixed responses. This may cause tension in the family or social circle. [Excitement (Mercury in Gemini, 3rd house), the Hierophant, Messages for a Rabbit, The Right Way rx]

Most likely related to the above, there’ll be a period where you decide to part ways with tradition. After much thinking, you may find something you thought you could pursue or endure is not for you—even though it’s what’s expected of you. This may be isolating, or you ‘ll feel weird compared to those around you. Or, you might spend more time with people who understand your decisions and self-expression—people who also broke away from tradition. This will be a sensitive time; you’ll be more in tune with your emotions and the emotions of others. Old feelings can surface, particularly of abandonment, loneliness, and disappointment. This could be very overwhelming, so take extra care of your mental and emotional health. You might grieve experiences you will no longer have now that you are committing to going a different way (example, you might feel left behind by friends who are going to college if you decide not to do that). Feel what you need to commit to your path. There could be a slight struggle in truly letting go of whatever this is, especially if it’s a belief system. Also allow yourself grace, patience, space, and empathy in getting used to changes. [Empathy (Moon in Pisces, 12th house), four of pentacles sideways, We’re All Mad Here, the Hierophant rx]

After dealing with others'/society’s expectations of you for so long, and even your own expectations of yourself, you may suddenly charge forth, revitalized. You will be empowered to make a life for yourself with your own two hands. Something about your body is significant; whatever path you decide on may include some kind of physical work (ex, hand-made art, modeling, physical labor etc, could also refer to moving & travel). If you are pregnant or get pregnant, this is in reference to your labor or last trimester. Shortly before this period you will feel you are carrying a burden that's not yours to carry. This can be others’ expectations, or it could refer to any duties you have been maintaining but don’t have your heart in. When you enter this time period, you may have a flare of indignation or feel upset that you've been living according to what others say and not your own truth. Hone this feeling into productivity. Example, if you feel angry that someone doesn’t believe in your art, make more art! You might also have a surge of confidence and stand up for yourself like never before, though be careful not to waste energy on those who refuse to understand. Whatever your case is, this will be a time to embrace your own truth and let go of those who seek to live through or control you. You will be setting out on your own in some way. You’ll break free of those ideas once believed to be your own, but now are clearly things others conditioned into you. You will seek freedom from the burden of not being yourself. [Birth (Venus in Cancer, 4th house), Enterprise (Jupiter in Aries, 1st house), Keep Your Temper rx, ]

Overall Theme for the New Year [Believe, Ostentation]: this year will challenge you to believe in yourself more. It’s not that this will get much easier. It’s your own constant effort showing that no matter what, you can rely on yourself. That your worth is far greater than what others think—you can accomplish what you set your mind to. Some of you may be afraid of following your own path due to material hardships. This is understandable, but whatever is giving you anxiety, know that building inner security is what enables people to make big leaps. Your emotions will be incredibly important guides for you this year. Learning to accept and maintain your emotional state will be part of what shows you your own unshakeable foundation. If you put in the work towards loving and supporting yourself, you will be flaunting (boasting even) self-confidence like never before.

The monarch rides through the streets of their kingdom, head held oh-so high. Is this the notorious royal descendant, are the rumors all true? Whispers and strange glances spread down the road like wildfire. Everyone wants a look—a taste—so they may judge this stranger themselves. They certainly have heard the terrible stories and fearful feats attributed to them, and if they know what’s good for them they’ll clear the air. But the monarch says nothing to anyone. Should they hold their head any higher, they will surely hurt their neck! There’s no need to explain anything, nor do they need to make a fancy show of themselves for the people’s opinion. Their crown is their confidence; it ripples around them like silk. The power in their gaze explains everything anyone needs to know.

Possible examples (but not limited to…): applying to universities or jobs, building a resume, changes in beliefs about your role in the world, environment, or ecosystem, changes in spiritual & religious beliefs that put you at odds with others, changes in diet, brainstorming careers or majors, taking a non-traditional route in school. Leaving a religion or similar system, standing up for yourself against loved ones, a new project/business/art form/career path, graduating, moving away or moving to another relative’s home, getting pregnant, if you are or get pregnant then you may be especially emotional during your second trimester, making a medical decision for yourself, cutting people off (especially toxic family), writing a lot (you may write letters or lots of notes too), growing out of a childhood belief, starting a job (especially part-time, or as a supplement to something else)

Extra Details: black holes, red hair or red as a common color in your style (also green), communion, wanting your suffering to be recognized, cheerleaders, high school students, spending time (especially Summer) in the countryside and by the ocean (sea creatures are significant. Some of you may want to go vegan/vegetarian but are struggling because you love seafood?), a relative (mostly female) who lives in a more rural area you can go stay with, really liking animated movies, especially animated fairy tales or the anime fairy tale? Might also like zombie media (shows etc) or feel like a zombie. Detail-oriented rather than big-picture focused, might tend to just say or blurt out whatever you want, Catholic stigmata?

🎆

Pile 6:

Something to Reflect On [ten of cups rx, the Emperor]: hi pile six! Last year there was a disappointment, loss, or ending with a loved one, or someone in your support system. This could be anything from a breakup, to a family death (found family?), or feeling a lack of fulfillment with those around you. You had to remain strong through this loss of connection and fill the void it left. You could’ve felt like you were drowning in the emotional turbulence you endured (literal drowning is significant to some). You could’ve also felt lonely and like you had to be strong for whoever was left. Even though this doesn’t make the disappointment or grief easier to bear, please appreciate how you show up for yourself and others. 

A Peep into the New Year…:

Possibly related to the above message, you’ll be shouldering a burden that’s not entirely yours to carry. There’s a situation that’ll be unfair or unbalanced, and this will take a toll on you. This could be a legal case, something law-related like a will, inheritance, contract, or something where stipulations are involved. Or, it could be something where you feel you’re getting the short end of the stick and having to take on a duty that’s hoisted on you. If you recently had a death in the family, this is likely related to the aftermath (a funeral or burial? I heard “bury”). Through ideas, communication, or ingenuity (it could be your own or someone else’s), balance will be restored to the situation. This will likely involve letting go of something you were making yourself do (I hear “promise,” you may have to rescind a promise that’s become toxic?). This felt very stifling and anxiety-inducing, but a good outcome is on the horizon. Your word may carry a lot of power in this situation, which may be why you ultimately get to decide if this carries on in your life or not. [Influence (Mercury in Libra, 7th house), Law is not Justice rx, the Burden, the Sun rx]

For a portion of the year, financial & material achievement will be of greater importance. More stability or success can come in. If you have a job or business, you may have positive developments if you put in effort. However, there’s something in your life that’s pulling on you, or there’s some kind of dependent relationship related to this material success. For example, building your savings by living with family. Or, there may be something that’s taking a lot of your attention and making it hard to focus on your success. However, it seems any situation that makes you feel dependent or dissatisfied during this period will encourage you to put even more energy into advancing. Despite stability or comfort, you’ll be focused on going your own way or working towards goals. You’ll seek to protect what’s important to you by putting more of yourself into it. If you have children, they could feel more dependent on you at this time, or you could feel more responsibility towards them. This can also refer to the relationship with your own family. Pregnancy may be more likely. No matter the case, this period will be one of renewal where you’re focused on building up for the future. You may be less inclined to share your plans with others, despite the attention you receive. [Riches (Saturn in Capricorn, 10th house), 9 of pentacles rx, the Chariot, Berkano rune]

Finally, there’s a part of the year where you need to safeguard your own interests. The message came out a bit choppy but I will try my best to convey it. For some or all of the year, you may experience a surge in confidence and a sense of knowing. This could be in general, or it could especially be confidence placed in a person. Either way, the message I got was “be careful once you’re confident.” There will be events placed along your year that will differentiate between confidence, impulsiveness, and arrogance, but when you feel very sure, all of them can seem the same. Make sure to always use your wisdom and not just confidence alone as your guide. Don’t think yourself above others, don’t be a braggart, and don’t make impulsive decisions because you think the consequences won’t happen. This could be a message about yourself, or it could relate to someone challenging something you hold dear. What I’m saying might sound silly because I don’t think you’re the type to be haughty, if anything this pile is understanding of reality based on your experiences. So that’s why I’m trying to convey that I think this is something you would normally never think about, things you might take for granted. This can include your trust in someone or something to do with your body? An inheritance, or something you receive(d) through family, including a home. You are being asked to put in an honest effort and cover your bases instead of bluffing through situations. Example, make sure your inner security is based on yourself and not on someone being there to give it to you. Make sure you pay attention to your body’s needs instead of assuming you’ll feel perfect. Especially if a genetic condition runs in your family, pay attention to that. There are two Saturn cards in this part of your reading. Put in the honest work, protect yourself, be patient and fair without impulsiveness, and you can sail through choppy waters. [Inheritance (Saturn in Scorpio, 8th house), King of Cups, Risk (Saturn in Aries, 1st house), Uncertainty rx]

Overall Theme for the New Year [Manage To Be Glad, Nauthiz rune]: create your own happiness; don’t allow external circumstances to dictate your entire wellbeing. This year is about life lessons and effort. Embrace these as part of everyone’s path—including yours—and you won’t struggle against the tide. Going down too-good-to-be-true shortcuts and overindulging in fantasy both come with consequences later. Be attentive to your needs and not just your wants. Most importantly, be aware that your actions create short and long-term effects; just ignoring the future does not undo the ripples of your decisions. Be mindful of how you treat yourself and the kind of reality you create for future you.

Witch—that’s what they call the one in the woods. Perhaps you’ll see them at their doorstep, dressed in all black, petting the cat in their arms (surely a familiar). Maybe you’ll see the candlelight burning into the late night when one is up to no good. But are they a witch? They are wise and avoid missteps by careful planning. To an outsider it’s magic, but to the witch it is only common sense.

Possible examples (but not limited to…): resolving funeral/end-of-life matters (for a recent death), resolving ongoing legal questions or troubles after feeling anxious, carefully reviewing contracts or agreements, choosing yourself or to withdraw some of the care you give to others, speaking up for yourself or finding your voice, needing a vacation, living with family, movement in the family home, wanting a different job or career, taking care of family or children—or being taken care of, making a leap towards a material goal, setting up plans or money for the future, being recognized at work or by peers, super specific message but you could go on a lot of walks (specifically late at night) with a close friend or partner, spending time in a different house than usual, close friendship or needing friends for emotional support, friends w/ benefits, pregnancy-related scares or other sudden news about one’s body, saturn return, finding out you didn’t really know someone, a pattern from the past replaying, receiving inheritance, someone challenging a relationship

[18+ only message] For any that do SW, be very mindful of your circle and clients, as well as who gets your pictures, as there may be some jealous or revengeful energy surrounding that. For others that don’t do SW but may send 18+ pics, the same applies. Take wise precautions regardless of who gets them.

Extra Details: the ocean, trauma regarding water (but still drawn to it at the same time?), Yellow by Coldplay, diamonds, crystals (especially yellow ones?), Poker Face by Lady Gaga, South America (especially the northern part of S America like Colombia), Roman Holiday? Law school or firm, body dysmorphia, inheritance from a father figure (could be a grandpa—very thick round glasses, bald on top with feathery white hair, tan, very thick silver mustache, wore long sleeve button up shirts a lot, smiles a lot, gave you money, liked coffee a lot?), Neville Goddard, blood disorders or inherited disorders, chromosomal? Saturn as a prominent planet in the natal chart, solar return, or profection year (could have also been prominent in the chart of whoever passed recently), being the responsible or older child

🎆

[mintmatcha]

thinking about how obi responds when he actually sees reader wearing his scales as earrings for the first time.

he thinks he's not good enough for her- so, to see her so casually and proudly wearing his scales around like that? feelings.

Obi slides a small box across the lacquered table. You had almost forgotten your request since the months had passed, but the memory is fresh i. your mind when he flips the lid and presents two polished scales, shining in the morning light.

"I'm sorry for the delay," he smiles, "I wanted you to have only the best."

His nose crunches as he talks, an extra wiggle that not usually there.

"I made sure they were for the same spot, so they'd be similar sizes." His voice is bright yet nervous as he clings onto the box, rounded claws out and digging into the velvet sides, "I'd you find any imperfections, let me know. I'd be happy to find a better shed-"

You slide your hands over his and ease the box from his grasp. The familiar glean catches the light and you can't help but smile; it does feel like you own a piece of him now- something you can hold forever.

"These are perfect," you say.

"You-" he swallows, "I'm sorry, my dear, you have to say you accept them. It's silly, I know, but it's tradition, so-"

"I accept, Obsidian." Agreeing doesn't fill you with butterflies the way it did with Adam. Instead, it fills you with a sense of bliss, a calmness you've never known, "I accept these and you and whatever comes with that."

"My fawn. I-" he stumbles over himself, trying to find words that just won't come. "Thank you. I promise to court you properly and truly."

You marvel at them for a moment longer, a hum on your voice. Courting: it's official.

"Don't feel obligated to display these," your partner says suddenly, "Our relationship is still strange to a lot of people - Men and Dragonborn alike. I don't want you to put yourself into an uncomfortable situation just for my benefit."

.

That night, it takes only a little work to string the scales into metal hoops. They hang slightly uneven, but you barely care; they catch the firelight so beautifully that you can't stop looking at yourself. Ego has never been your strong suit, but these make you feel gorgeous. Upon further inspection, they are scales from his nose; small and absolutely perfect ovals, you recognize the spot that you kiss every day.

You can barely sleep that night; you scramble to the door the second day the sun begins to crest, hoping to beat Obsidian downstairs, but instead you find him in the hall. The dragonborn is shirtless, towel in hand as he notices you.

"Is my fawn looking for a morning dalliance? I would be happy to -" Obi freezes midsentence, struck. You can't hide your smile; you erupt into giggles as you prance over to him, cupping your new jewelry in your palms.

"Do you like my earrings?"

Obsidian drops his towel to reach for you. The Draconic rolls off his tongue so quickly that you can't even try to keep up, the rolling peaks and clicks nonstop. The almond pupils of his eyes are blown out, wide and swallowing all light as he pulls you close against him. Kissing is a bit difficult for him, so he resorts to the traditional dragonborn act of bumping his snout into your neck. He pushes and kneads and nips, too overwhelmed to stop.

"Obi!" you whisper-yell, trying to avoiding waking the other Inn guests, "Obsidian! I can't understand you!"

He quiets then, but continues purring.

"I am so lucky to be yours, my dear," he whispers, "So, so, impossibly lucky."

[novembermorgon]

pls pls pls your grace i gotta know more about myrielle’s kind of lesbian situationship that you mentioned a while back 😭🙏

ohh yeah

so basically ...

myrielle comes to court at 12-13 and while she brings friends along with her from casterly rock, she also makes a few new ones - notably odessa dayne (who belongs to @/daenysdefender but i love to take her and play dolls with her and myrielle thanks chloe) who's betrothed to valarr . in sort of a sense of 'we're united in our fate of being married into the royal family' myrielle grows very attached to odessa sort of like a sister .

of course ... as two girls who spend basically every waking moment together, who center their futures and their betrothals and their lives around each other in some ways, things end up getting a little bit homoerotic . they share a bed as girls do and they share moments where things get more intimate than what's normal for a friendship between girls. share a look. and a kiss. they're married in spirit before either of them are married to any targ man. i think, in a way, myrielle feels protective of her in the ways a husband would- she treats her relationship to odessa almost like a marriage, wants to care for her and be with her in all the ways a husband would, wants some degree of comforting power over her, wants to experience what a man might with a woman - wants to understand aerion's treatment of her by sort of replicating a marriage with odessa.

our timeline is a little messed up here but odessa marries first albeit not super far apart from myrielle. i don't think being married to aerion makes myrielle grow much more distant from odessa, but there's definitely sort of a wedge planted between them even if very subtle. suddenly your best friend is centering her life and her joys and woes around a man, instead of you - suddenly you're all grown up and you can't spend your time on girlish games and some imagined strange love that you share.

just before ashford meadow odessa has a baby that she names baelor . after the best targ man ever BAELOR BREAKSPEAR! sorry. i think myrielle at that point has begun to envy her. she has a husband who treats her with respect and she has a child and she's been allowed to marry the guy who's 2nd in line to the throne instead of the second son of a fourth son . just inherently, any relationship between myrielle and other women are difficult- because she centers so much of her worth and her identity around the men she surrounds herself with. she needs to feel valuable in the ways she's expected to be, which ends up being through marriage and having kids - she spends her whole childhood dreaming of marrying up, of making her dad proud and making her house proud and in that sense odessa kind of gets everything she doesn't. and myrielle doesn't recognize that this isn't odessa's fault: realistically, who will she blame if not her?

buuuuut . ashford happens. myrielle is pregnant, aerion goes off to lys, and after the tourney + after spending a little mourning period with valarr over baelor odessa goes off to dorne to meet with her family and show off .. baelor ...2! ^_^ (the baby). because the great spring sickness hits a little bit after that, odessa stays in dorne and they don't meet for a good long while. i think myrielle goes to summerhall with her brothers + daeron and some bits of aerion's family because i imagine it's not quite as bad illness-wise as king's landing and it's close enough to sort of make a little quick escape to.

that distance between them i think really changes the dynamic a lot and much of it IS just because of myrielle. she has her babies and i think in a way she pits them against odessa's son almost immediately. wants maegor and aenys to be Number One Babies Forever!!!! and has great ambitions for them- which odessa and her son get in the way of very directly. so she ends up raising both of them to be more distant from baelor and insists on almost keeping them apart ...? which works for aenys because he's a mommas boy in the sense of will listen to every evil mean thing myrielle tells him, works less well for maegor because he loves friendship... <3

myrielle's relationship with odessa definitely becomes very strained after they meet again when they eventually return to king's landing. things never quite return to what they used to be, and as myrielle spends more time with and makes more of an effort with aerion she also struggles to make up with odessa (which is funny because she's the root cause of all their issues. never trust blonde women.)

it gets sort of nastier the more time passes. the targs begin to die and aerion + their sons end up higher in the succession, myrielle becomes more frantic about it, her & aerion & aenys spread rumors that baelor is a bastard, it's a little bit like the most hostile parts of the court drama in the dance of the dragon parts of f&b except instead of rumors written by court jesters and maesters it's all real LOL

i imagine it all sort of collapses. in time . families at odds and yuri split apart... well... it's bound to end up badly.... baelor and aenys would have the craziest beef in the training courtyard . that's all i have for you for now anon but hopefully more will come in time

[denial-permanente]

Hi there,

I’ve been a follower of your for quite a while and have to say I admire the dynamic you and Tom share, and the strength and closeness that your base relationship reflects.

I send this seeking your opinion, and I apologize if you’ve already answered this before.

I find myself in a precarious situation where I have, slowly, yet steadily and surely, become interested in chastity. For me, and I say this with as much honesty as one can, my interest in this isn’t fetishized as is more Domme focused. As in, I do not find myself interested in the idea because it gets me all hot and bothered (despite the fact that it does), but is more my desire to offer my Domme something I know I have not fully internalized and am fully comfortable with. Its beyond my comfort zone but that is where growth and magic take place. I will want yo say that my apprehension or anxiety are not because I don’t want to be thrown/throw myself into the deep end, but a nervousness about the realities and challenges of how it will play out if that makes sense? It’s sort of a ‘careful what you wish for’ kind of situation.

I am currently seeing a very special woman who is very much on the dominant side of things and we’ve talked about some aspects that our dynamic would involve. We have discussed orgasm control, and she has made it clear to me that this is an expectation she has of me, but chastity is yet to be discussed.

We have been nurturing a very beautiful connection in our relationship, but the thought of her potentially wanting me in chastity and wanting to wear my key on her neck for the world to see (even if fee pick up on it) makes me a little nervous. I feel like that would break me as a submissive, it would make me realize my place infinitely more deeply and would bring me into a state of submission that is beyond what Im used to or know what to expect from.

So I guess my question is: why do you think Im feeling this way and do you think I should override this nervous and just surrender to that desire of hers (as it comes up) fully? I know these are questions only I could answer but I appreciate your experience and take on this greatly.

Thank you in advance :)

Like a lot of men, you may be way overthinking all this. You're seeing a domme, you have chemistry, and things are going well. And instead of just enjoying all this you are worried that things will go... too well? 🙄

First of all, she may not even want to wear one of those ugly keys. I'm sorry... I know a lot of you men get all hot and bothered but we are not 14 years old here. Those keys are ugly and no woman wants to wear one especially if they are dressed up.

Second, she wants to control your orgasms. That is perfectly acceptable with or without a cage. By asking... demanding that she take control of your orgasms she makes sure that your desire is focused on her and not on your penis. I told my husband many years ago that I wanted all of the control over that and even in times when he was not caged he took that very seriously. To me it represented a huge commitment... and women love to see commitment from men.

I guess what I'm saying is to forget about the cage. That is... the cage is not to prevent orgasms, it is to prevent accidents and temptation... both yours and hers.

🔒Tom here. This is a point that gets overlooked a lot: cages do not prevent orgasms, they simply make them inconvenient. Long before my permanently locked status, I considered it a personal challenge to refrain from unauthorized orgasms. Once, my wife had me going for over 15 very difficult months, no cage. And it's true - women love their men to show commitment.

I also think that you're overthinking this. Orgasm control is a step, wearing a cage for her is another step. I understand that guys can have mixed emotions of love/hate/fear over orgasm control/denial, but instead of approaching it as something taken away from you, try looking at it as a sacrifice you are making for her.

[13as07]

Spitting Image #5

(Gaara Sabaku)

[Artwork is not mine! Credit to o3_kurisutarogubo]

Requested by: Myself

Word Count: 3,599

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

Gets heated toward the end :)

———————————————————————

     It feels like there are millions of eyes on me as I cut up Yoshiki's fruit to have with his breakfast. The three chefs of the kitchen along with my handmaid - Gou - all look at me like I've grown a second head. I've grown used to the looks over the past week. Apparently, no one in the palace ever does anything for themselves, besides me, I guess.

     "Darling?" Gaara calls again, pulling another annoyed sigh from me. "My darling, please acknowledge me."

"What is it that you need?" I grumble, continuing to chop up the fruit. Things were going well between us. Gaara was succeeding at giving me space and every night this week he has crawled into my bed to cuddle for a while... then this morning when he came to greet Yosh he asked me what season I'd like to have the wedding. Talk about knocking us back to square one.

"I wish to apologize."

     "What?" I asked, snapping my head towards him in a bit of disbelief.

     "I have been reading about relationships. It seems that my constant conversation about marriage is making you feel trapped, that is not what I'm trying to do. So, I would like to apologize."

     "Uh - okay?" I mutter, quickly blinking at the ginger standing next to me.

     "I am sorry for making you feel trapped. I would like you to know that you are free to come and go as you wish. You are free to do as you wish..."

     "But?" I ask, Gaara's gaping mouth and his flickery eyes giving away to the add-on he's struggling with.

     "But, my darling, with me being the Kazekage and us being... there are dangers to Yoshiki and you all over the Great Nations, including our nation and... I don't want you upset but I would like a guard to join you when you go out if Shinki and me are not coming along with you. I'm sorr - "

     "That's understandable," I cut him off, swiping the cut fruit off the cutting board and plumping it into a bowl. "I don't know anything about the village so even if a threat did rise I wouldn't have any chance, so that's not an unreasonable request."

     "Oh," he whispers, slowly blinking at me as the gears in his head shift. "I am glad that we agree."

     "Me too."

     Gaara stays put, the two of us watching as Yosh eats his scrambled egg and diced fruit. "Gaara?" I call after a couple of minutes.

     "My darling?"

     "I should apologize too," I murmur, turning my focus towards him.

     "What do you have to apologize for, my dear?"

     "I'm sorry I tried to hit you last week. I shouldn't take my anger out on you in the first place and I really shouldn't take it out on you like that. I'm sorry for making things difficult for you too. I wish I was ready to get married but... I'm just not there yet."

     "It's alright, darling. When you are ready, I will be here waiting," Gaara mutters, face scrunched up as his hand slowly moves forward. It lands on top of my head, softly patting me as his face unscrunches. "I would like to take you on a date tonight. I would also like to buy you a new outfit for our date but Shinki thinks you'll just buy it for yourself, so I already did. If you do not like it, I shall return it and find you something else."

     With that, Gaara kisses the top of Yoshiki's head before turning on his heels and disappearing from the kitchen.

     My eyes flicker back to our son who's having the time of his life squishing his egg into the plate of his high chair. "Yosh," I call, his head picking up and a huge smile crossing his face once he realizes I'm the one who called him. "Papa is going to take me on a date tonight. What do you think of that?"

     "Baabaa," his voice rings out, trying to say 'papa' like his older brother does.

     "Yes, Papa. Who am I? Am I mama?"

     "Baabaa," he repeats, smashing his fork into his dismembered egg.

     I smile at my boy, enjoying the sweet moment we're sharing. Gaara's talk of the future might terrify me but I can't wait to see the man our son will grow into.

———————————

     The yukata got me is beautiful and probably worth a pretty penny. Gou is tucked behind me, pinning the white material stamped with red flowers to my body. "Gou?"

"Yes, my last?"

"How much do you think my yukata cost?"

"I think Lord Fifth paid eighty-two hundred yen for it, I'm not sure though," she mumbles around the pins in her mouth.

"Oh," I mutter, looking over the outfit in the body mirror again. Gou has dolled me up and, my hair done with a matching pin through my locks. "Where's Gaara taking me?"

"I am not allowed to tell you, my lady. Direct orders from the Kazekage."

"Has Kankuro shown up yet?"

"Yes, my lady. Please stop worrying about Yoshiki and Shinki. They will be safe and cared for while you're out."

     "I can't do that," I mumble to myself, shifting when Gou accidentally likes me with a pin. I'd rather Kankuro watch the boys than anyone else in the village, but I'm still not too fond of the idea. I know Kankuro even less than I know Temari, and I was overly anxious about leaving my son with her.

     "What can't you do, my darling?" Gaara's voice rings out before his hands settle on my hips. They flutter a bit like he can't decide whether it's a good idea to be touching me or not.

     "Calm down," I mutter, settling my hands on top of his, keeping them in place. My eyes scan over his image in the mirror, taking in the matching yukata he's wearing.

     "Why can't you calm down?" Gaara asks, eyes flickering between us in the mirror and the wall of my bedroom.

     "I'm just nervous about leaving the boys home with your brother."

     "Do not take up your mind with worries. Kankuro would do anything for his nephews," he murmurs, trying a squeeze to my hips. When I don't tell him to stop, he squeezes me again... and again. "You look very nice, my dear. Are you ready to go?"

     "As ready as I'll ever be," I murmur, slowly pulling away from his touch. His face scrunches from my movements, what I think is sadness covering his face. "Where are you taking me?"

     "Tonight is the first day of the Prickly Pear harvest. A festival goes on every night of the harvest. We are going there, and then we will watch the stars as we wait for the fireworks."

     "Prickly pear?" I ask, a giggle slipping out. What a weird name for a crop.

     "Yes. They are pears that grow on a cactus. They have the same spikes as a cactus does, hence prickly pear."

      I hum in amusement, making my way out of the room with Gaara in tow. "I've never had a prickly pear."

     "We shall get you a prickly pear then," he mumbles, making me laugh again. 'Prickly pear' is a weird thing to hear Gaara say. "Come here, my dear. You are too far away from me," he grumbles, stepping forward quicker before his arm wraps around mine. "You need to stay close so you do not get hurt or lost during the festival."

     "Is that the only reason?" I tease, tightening my arm around his as I shift closer to his side.

     His eyes flicker to me before settling on our looped arms. "... yes," he whispers, head back on straight as he leads me down the hallway. "Perhaps not," he adds on, cheeks coated in a pale pink.

———————————

Gaara's eyes are locked on me as I enjoy the Prickly Pear Icy he bought me. It's not as exciting as I thought it would be. It tastes like a musk melon. "Do you like your treat?"

"It's good," I mumble around the popsicle. "I like the meat stuff on the stick you got me more though."

"Would you like more? We can go back to the booth," he rambles, head spinning as he looks for the meat-on-a-stick booth we were at a few moments ago.

"No, I'm good," I tell him, using the arm still looped through his to pull him closer. The attempt to calm Gaara works, he - mostly - settles down again. His eyes are still as sharp as a hawk, scanning the festivalgoers for any possible threats. "So, I don't know about you sandfolk, but in the Leaf, there's usual games and such to play too. Do you guys have that here?"

"Of course, what kind of festival would it be if we did not have games?" He grumbles, eyes flickering around the people that shift out of the way as we walk. "Is there a game you have in mind?"

"I don't remember what it's called, but you have these paper paddles and you try to catch a fish with them. If you win you get to take the fish home."

     "Kingyo Suku."

     "What?"

     "The game you are speaking of, it's called Kingyo Suku," Gaara explains before he lets out a soft sigh. "One moment dear," he groans, tugging me in front of him before his hands settle on my hips. The man-handling and added weight to my hips make my chest - and a little more than that - flutter. "Hello Matsuri," He greets the person bee-lining for us.

     "My lord," the girl greets back, bowing her head quickly before straightening up again. "And...?"

     "This is... she's my... this is consort Kazekage," Gaara finally pushes out, stumbling over his words a bit.

     The girl's eyes widen a bit, her smile wavering as she focuses on her village leader. "I didn't know you were married, Lord Fifth."

     "I'm... not," he mutters, using his hold on me to pull me against him. "She is... what is it that I can help you with, Matsuri?"

     "Oh! The word around the village is that you have a second son now," the girl's eyes flutter to me once the sentence is out, her jaw locking a bit before she turns back towards Gaara. "I was hoping to meet him."

     "I do, yes. He is not here with us. I am hoping to introduce him to the village on the last night of the festival. I wouldn't want to take the light away from the village farmers today, and I still need to talk to his mother about her thoughts on it," He answers, his hands jumping up to my arms when he says the word 'mother'. "Soon enough my son will be officially announced, as will his mother, so do not worry."

     "Oh great," the lady says, eyes stuck on me now. "What a... joy for the village. A new prince and our Kazekage has picked his consort."

     "It is quite the joy, yes. Now please excuse us, I promised my consort a festival game." With that, the woman bows again and Gaara quickly shifts us away from her. "My apologies, darling," he mutters once we're out of her earshot, sliding his arm back around mine.

     "What's a consort?" I ask, letting my eyes trail over the lanterns strung around the booths as I replay the interaction we just had. The girl was jealous of me, right? That's what that whole thing was, right? Or am I just reading into it? I think I'm reading into the situation too much.

     "It is the royal title of the monarch's... partner. Usually a wife, but you have made it clear you are not ready for that, so you shall be introduced to the village as my consort instead of my wife." Gaara nods his head in agreement with himself, another one of his ticks that I don't quite understand.

     "What's the deal with the girl that was talking to you?"

     "She was one of my students."

     "I think your student has a crush on you."

     He falls still, eyes sharp and locked on me. "Does that upset you? Do I need to fix it? How would I go about fixing an issue such as this?" Gaara races out, his sight more intense the longer he talks. "I do not wish for Matsuri to have a crush on me, I wish for you to have a crush on me. My darling - "

     I jump up a bit, plopping a kiss on his cheek before falling flat on my feet again, cutting off the panicked Kage. "Stop worrying, Gaara. I do have a crush on you and I don't care that Matsuri does. I was just curious."

     "Oh," he whispers, blinking in his slow 'I'm trying to figure this out' way. "That is good news."

     "Yes, it is," I mutter, curling my arms around his tighter, gluing us closer together. It's not a lie, I do like Gaara. He's grown on me over the past couple of months. He just has a tad of separation anxiety, terrible communication skills - as do I - and a small fear of abandonment, all of which we can work through. All of which scares me.

———————————

     My eyes are turned towards the sky, enjoying the colorful explosions decorating it. Gaara and I are laid out on a sand dune a ways out from the village. He laid out a blanket underneath us to attempt to keep the sand off of us. Sand has a mind of its own so, of course, it's not working, but the attempt is sweet.

     "Gaara?"

     "Dear?"

     "Do they have the fireworks every night of the festival or just tonight?"

     "Every night."

     Slowly I slide my hand across the blanket, in search of his hand. When my fingers bump into his, Gaara stiffens. Despite his reaction, I carefully intertwine our fingers together, his body relaxing once our hands are tied together. "Gaara?"

     "My darling?"

     "Do you think we can watch the fireworks again tomorrow?"

     "Whatever you wish for I will make happen."

     "You could have just said yes," I respond, stifling a laugh that threatens to spill out.

     Our words fall silent, only the sound of the popping fireworks filling the space between us. The sky continues to be temporally decorated, bright reds, blues, yellows, and everything in between coating the sky.

     Once the last sparkle of light falls from the sky, I turn my head towards Gaara, preparing to ask if he's ready to leave. When my sights settle on him, his eyes are already locked on me. I'm thankful for the darkness that hides the embarrassment crawling across my face. How long has he been looking at me? Why must he always be looking at me so tensely?

     "My darling?" I let a hum out, letting Gaara know I'm paying attention to whatever he's going to say. "I... wish to cuddle in bed with you tonight."

"You usually do, Gaar. That's fine by me."

"No, not like that. I... do not wish to leave. I want..." His head turns away from me, focusing on the stars stamped into the black backdrop of the night.

I turn my head too, enjoying the clear skies of the open desert. "Do you want to sleep in the same bed? Is that what you're trying to ask?"

"... yes. If you do not want me to, I will not. I know you said you do not want to share a room."

I turn on my side, our connected hands stabbing into me because of the position. "Gaara?" I call, rubbing my free hand over his chest.

My view of his eyes is cut off as he blinks repeatedly, his chest jumping quickly, and his body going tense again. I move forward more, our noses bumping because of how close to his face I am. "My darling dear?" He breathes out, the words shaky as he scans my face.

The combination of my nicknames makes me smile, my tongue poking out to run over my bottom lip as the thought of kissing Gaara crosses my mind. "Ya, you can sleep in my bed tonight," I murmur, more than kissing slowly starting to fill my mind.

"I can?"

"Yes, if you want to. Do you want to?"

Gaara's head nods quickly, his nose switching from bumping into mine to bumping into my cheek because of his movements. His eyes are blown out as they look at me, a nice difference from the usual slit shape they hold. "Please?"

I let out a strained sigh because of the single word, the thoughts of marriage and another baby not seeming so scary anymore. This is how I got pregnant the first time. Well, not exactly, same feelings and thoughts as that night though. "Okay," I whisper back, starting to pull away so I can stand up.

     The arm pressed under me jumps up, landing on my back and gently pushing me back into please. "Darling?"

     "Gaara?" I ask back, our eyes locked, his slightly twitching like he's not sure what to do.

     "Just sleeping, yes?"

     "Just sleeping," I echo, the smallest part of sanity pushing through the tension of the moment.

     "Can I at least have a kiss? It is customary to have a goodnight kiss at the end of a date, yes?"

     "Ya," I breathe out, Gaara's hand present on my back softly pushing me closer to his face.

     "Then I would like a kiss... then we can go home," he mutters, his lips brushing mine as he speaks, his chest bouncing with anxiety. "And just sleep."

     "And just sleep," I repeat, more for my benefit than his. If I say it enough maybe I'll believe.

     The hand on my back slowly snakes up my body, ending its slithering on the back of my neck. Gaara's touch is soft and slow as he closes the lack of distance between us.

     His lips are rough, bruised, and scabbed over. They taste like chamomile tea; apple-ly with a hint of honey. His hand gets rougher, pushing me against him more as he deepens our kiss. Gaara's tongue pokes out, teasing my lips apart. I give in, parting my lips a bit. His tongue slips in, toying with mine for a moment before he slowly pulls away from me. "Just... just sleep," he mutters, eyes hazy as he looks up at me.

     "Just sleep," I repeat for the third time tonight, slowly pulling our bodies apart.

———————————

     “This is not just sleep,” Gaara murmurs against my neck, his hands eagerly shoving the sleeves of my yukata down my shoulders, the material of it balling at my elbows. His lips travel down my neck, making quick work across my newly exposed skin.

“No, this is not just sleep,” I echo, my hands gripping the front of his clothing.

“We’re supposed to just sleep,” he continues to whisper, hands sliding across the door of the Hokage palace in search of the keyhole. “We should just sleep,” he adds, the sound of the key sliding into the lock filling the empty night air.

“Ya, we should… should just… sleep,” I whisper, tugging Gaara with me as the door swings open.

“Yes, of course. I have a busy day tomorrow,” he mumbles, the two of us stumbling down the hallway. His hands crawl across my body, tugging at my clothes, toying with the hems of it like he wants to slide his fingers under neither but isn’t sure whether he should or not. Our feet stumble just as much as Gaara’s hands, slowly moving us further down the hallway.

“I’m sure you do,” I scramble out, my hands falling to the front of my clothing, tugging on it to part the material covering my chest. “I… I’ll be up early for the boys, so… so we should go to sleep.”

“It would be better than fucking the hallway,” a deep voice rings out, cutting apart the tension growing between Gaara and me.

“Kankuro!” Gaara calls, his hands falling on top of mine, gripping them as he snaps my clothes shut again, effectively covering my bra. “How were the boys?” He grumbles, carefully fastening my yukata back in place.

“They were good, not as good as your night seems to be going,” Gaara’s younger brother chuckles out, finding his cock-blocking funny. “Yoshiki is fast asleep in his nursery, I just checked on him like five minutes ago. Shinki is asleep in his room, just checked on him too.”

“Thank you. Please see yourself out,” Gaara groans, his hands tightening and loosening around the material of my clothes.

More chuckles fall from the older man as he walks down the hallway, the sound of the door opening and clicking closed as he leaves.

“We… we should not just sleep,” Gaara mumbles, slowly tugging apart the front of my yukata again. His eyes scan my face as he does so, watching for my reaction.

“Oh ya? What should we do instead?”

Gaara’s mouth snaps open a few times, his answer stuck in his throat as his eyes jump from my face to my chest. “I should… should fulfill your… bedroom needs. Like last time I got to sleep in your bed. I would like… please?”

God damn it, at this rate, Gaara’s going to get his wish of having another kid before Yoshiki is four. “Whatever you wish for I will make happen,” I tease, repeating his words from earlier.

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[vividbloosom]

Drunk sorrow

Drunk!LeonKennedy x Female!Reader

Summary: Leon is drunk, longing for you.

Warning: mentions of alcohol

I broke up with Leon, my boyfriend of 3 years, a month ago because he barely had time for me due to his job. I thought it would be better that way. We wouldn't keep hurting each other...but the truth is this hurt more. I keep thinking about him, missing his smile, his touches, his voice...everything. I laid in my bed thinking about him...like every other night. My ringtone pulled me out from my thoughts, so I reached for my phone. Leon said the caller ID. I froze in my spot and frowned but picked it up. "Leon?" I said quietly. "Hey, are you y/n?" An unknown voice from the other line said and I furrowed my brows in confusion. "Um yeah, where is Leon ...is he okay?" I asked worried, what was going on. "I'm one of the employee at Angel Bar. I am calling you because Leon is very drunk, he kept saying your name and we're closing soon. Can you pick him up?" The employee said. "Be there in 15 minutes." I murmed getting out of my bed and put some clothes on. I quickly rush to my car, my heart pounding with a mix of concern and hesitation.

As I drive to the bar, memories flood my mind. The late nights waiting for him to come home, the missed anniversaries and birthdays, the constant feeling of being second to his job. It was a difficult decision to end our relationship, but I knew it would be better this way. When I arrive at Angel Bar, I park the car and take a deep breath, mentally preparing myself to face Leon again. I step inside, scanning the room until I spot him sitting at the bar, slouched over with a somber expression on his face. The bartender gives me a sympathetic look as I approach. "Thank you for coming," he says softly. "He's had quite a few drinks tonight." Approaching Leon cautiously, I place a hand on his shoulder, trying to rouse him gently. "Leon, it's me. I'm here to take you home," I say softly, my voice filled with a mix of concern and unresolved emotions.

Leon looks up at me, his eyes filled with a mixture of surprise and longing. "You came?" he asks, his voice slightly slurred. I nod, "Of course I came. You're still important to me, Leon, even after all this time." There's a part of me that wants to scold him, to ask why the fuck would he get drunk like this, but I push those thoughts aside for now. He looks remorseful, his eyes filled with regret. "I'm sorry, Y/N," he mumbles, his words slurred. "I messed up. I've been a terrible boyfriend, always prioritizing work over us."

I sigh, a mix of frustration and longing washing over me. "Yes, you were," I reply honestly. Leon's gaze drops, and he nods slowly. "I know I messed up, Y/N. I've been carrying the weight of that regret the entire month, I still fucking love you, and I want to be a better boyfriend for you." His voice cracks and he sobs. My heart aches at his words, the old feelings resurfacing. But I can't let myself be swayed so easily. "Leon, you are drunk. I don't wanna talk about this." I sigh and look away frowning. His eyes glisten with unshed tears as he reaches out to hold my hand. "I understand, Y/N...but please just give me another chance. I want to prove to you that I can be the partner you deserve." He pleads and sobs. "Lee, we will talk about this once you are sober, okay?" I reassure him and wipe his tears. "Come on, I'm gonna drive you home." I say and pull him up gently. "N-no...I don't wanna be alone." He sobs and grips me. "Please." He pleads and my heart is shattered. I sigh and smile sadly. "Okay..." We make our way out of the bar, Leon leaning on me for support. "Thank you..." He sobs as we walk to my car. I make sure his seatbelt is on and start driving to my home, a silence hangs heavy in the air, both of us lost in our own thoughts.

When we finally arrive, I help him inside, guiding him to the couch. He looks up at me, his eyes filled with regret. Sitting down beside him, I take a moment to gather my thoughts. "Leon, I can see that you're hurting, and I don't want you to keep carrying that pain. We both deserve happiness, but it has to be in a way that works for both of us." He nods, his expression filled with a mix of gratitude and longing. "I want to start working on myself, trying to find a better balance. I want to be a better partner, someone who can be there for you. But I can't do this without you." A frown covers his face, puffy eyes from crying. A part of me wants to believe his words, to give our relationship another chance. But I know that trust takes time to rebuild, and there are no guarantees. "Leon, but it's going to take more than just promises. We both need to put in the effort to make it work."

He looks at me, determination flickering in his eyes. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes, to prove to you that I can change. I love you, and I don't want to lose you completely." He says and I take a deep breath, contemplating his words. It's a risk, a leap of faith, but maybe, just maybe, we can find a way to make it work. "Go and take a shower...we can talk about this tomorrow, okay?" I ask and he nods getting up. "I will bring you a towel...and some clothes." I murm remembering I still have a pair of his sweatpants and a hoodie. He walks to the bathroom and I take the clothes, bringing them to him. Once he spots what I'm holding he grins. "I was searching for that..." He murms with a sheeplish smile. "Looks better on you anyway." He smiles like a dork making me chuckle and shake my head.

I leave the bathroom and walk to the kitchen, getting water and some pain killers for Leon tomorrow. After a few minutes Leon comes from the bathroom wearing the hoodie and sweatpants. My heart flutters at the sight of him, hair wet, messy and cheeks red from the warm water. "I can sleep on the couch...I made you enough trouble..." He says nervously and I just nod. "Um- Ill bring you some pillows and a duvet." I say and get up to the bedroom. I would love to have him in the bed next to me...but I can't do that. Bringing the stuff back to the living room, I prepare it for him as he sits and watches me. "Drink some water..." I nod towards the glass filled with water on the table and he hums in response reaching for it and drinking it. He lays on the couch, I cover him with the duvet. "Sleep now..." I say and stand up. "Thank you...I love you." He murms but I can see that he is half asleep. I sigh and bite my lip. "I love you too.." I mumble under my breath and go to my room to sleep.

I keep tossing in my bed, not able to sleep. Leon, Leon, Leon, Leon...Leon won't leave my mind. I hear noises from the living room...tossing and turning...then hear his voice. A nightmare. He's having a nightmare. I instantly make my way to the living room, flicking the light from my room so its not so dark. I spot his face, brows knitted together, sweat sliding on his forhead as he murms and cries from his sleep. I cup his cheeks gently. "Leon...hey, you are safe..." I whisper. "Don't hurt her...y/n..." He cries and i frown, shaking him a little. He opens his eyes and catches his breath. He then sees me and sighs relieved. "Hey, hey...it's okay, you are okay." I reasure him, pull him up and he stands up. "What are you-" He says between deeo breaths. "I'm not letting you sleep here..." I say and lead him to my room. He gets under the covers with me and I hold him in my arms. "I never want you to leave me..." He says quietly and hides his face in the crook of my neck. "I'm not leaving...I promise." I reasure him and kiss his head. He relaxes and soon we are both asleep holding each other.

[odysirena]

Atlantis (part 1)

prologue (must read) / series masterlist

pairing: neteyam x fem!metkayina!reader

series summary: with the death of quaritch, the sullys return to the forest. not wanting to make your mate part with his family for your sake, you decide to come with them. how will the return of his responsibilities as the future olo’eyktan affect your relationship? (4.5k)

It starts raining the moment you reach the forest and you welcome it like you would an old friend. You find your arms extending themselves, your eyes moving to look behind as you do to make sure you’re not obscuring Neteyam’s vision. 

What is an ocean but a multitude of drops? 

A microdose of home bidding you farewell.

Droplets living on your skin for a few seconds before they eventually have to leave, whispering a quiet goodbye and thank you for having me as gravity calls them down to the soil of pandora. 

They slip down your body and you can feel your skin clinging to them, begging them to stay just a little longer, to consume your body, to take your breath away like the ocean does.

You fly past the weeping cloud and a part of you cries with it as the last hint of water leaves your skin. 

“We’re almost there,” Neteyam tells you. 

The joy on his face is clear despite his attempt at masking it, a part of you wishes he didn’t try to suppress it just so he could mourn the loss of your home with you. 

“I can’t wait,” You wish you could say more. You wish you could offer him hand-picked words that have been assorted delicately to pluck hesitation away from his grip. 

But you can’t. Because a part of you is glad you have someone that wants to mourn with you despite, and your relationship is not built on half-truths. 

You know you’re there when you catch sight of the crowd gathered by their spirit tree. It will be yours too, eventually.

–

Jake announces their return a month before you have to leave Awa’atlu. He receives word back and is immediately promised to be given his position as the Olo’eyktan as soon as the family gets home, the Na’vi in position shoving power back into the hands of Jake the moment the opportunity presents itself, leaving no room for argument. 

Later, when it’s just the two of you sitting on a canoe, you ask Neteyam why Jake showed reluctance. He responds in laughter. 

“My father is arrogant,” he says. He assumes a thinking position before he corrects himself, “Was arrogant. He tries to practise humility for my mom,” he chuckles to himself as if he was watching a memory play out in front of him, “You should have seen his face when Norm told him. He tried to hide it but I’m pretty sure even Tuk could tell how happy he was.”

You mull over his words. Letting them sink in before you speak, “I thought his reasoning was safety,” you pause to observe his face, “of the clan and your family.”

“My father acted selfishly,” he pauses, catching your eye, shooting you a familiar question, do you want to carry this burden with me?

When you give him a gentle nod, he continues, “If anything, us leaving endangered the clan. They still had Spider, they still could have found the hideout. The only difference was our absence.” 

You take his hand in yours as he speaks, “But I try to understand. It is difficult for me to see reason because it is all I’ve known.”

He moves his gaze from the sea to you, “He is selfish for choosing safety over his duties when I had to sacrifice my childhood just to carry mine out.”

He breathes out. Letting your presence calm him down before he speaks again, “But I am glad he decided to act selfishly. Perhaps our family would not be in one piece if he didn’t. And,” he places your hand on his heart, “I would not have met you.”

You smile at his words. Replacing your hand with your head. The sound of his heart and the ocean around you is enough to lull anyone to sleep. 

But before you shut your eyes and succumb to comfort, you speak. 

“Perhaps a Toruk flapped its wings somewhere in the forest.”

The inside joke–born from his endearment for your fascination with fate–gets a laugh out of him, unable to resist the urge to see happiness bloom on his face, you get up from your place on his chest to watch. 

You look at him like you would look at the corals that live beneath you. The sight is familiar, yes, but it somehow manages to look more beautiful than it did the last time you caught a glimpse of it.

—

The first day back in the forest was hectic for the Sullys.

Not counting you. 

After the ceremony, Neteyam guides you to a hut separate from his family. His siblings join the two of you by his parents’ orders much to his irritation. 

“Bro, you seriously get all of this space to yourself? No fair!” Lo’ak exclaims, the excitement he radiates bouncing off the space, infecting everyone in his vicinity, forcing them to mirror the smile he has splattered across his face.

His teasing remarks directed at Neteyam brings a genuine laugh out of you, the sound catching Neteyam’s attention, saving Lo’ak from a gentle hit on the shoulder. 

Neteyam is the first person to be pulled away from your hut, ordered to attend some kind of briefing with his father. He leans in to kiss you and stops when he remembers his siblings’ presence in the room.

The sight of the three Sullys busying themselves has you laughing. Tuk is playing with your collection of shells. Kiri is observing the weaving pattern and Lo’ak. . . is covering his eyes with his hands like a child would.

“Can I look now?” he whines playfully. 

Neteyam rolls his eyes and steals a peck before he moves to leave, “Yes, you skxawng.”

When he leaves, the three siblings shoot you a look. 

“Am I gonna be an aunt?” The question asked by the 12-year-old has your mouth dropping to the ground.

“Lo’ak! What have you been telling her?” When you twist your body to point at him accusingly, he simply laughs and raises his hands in surrender.

“Bro, why do you always assume it’s me?” His reply has Kiri hissing in amusement, a smile etched on her face. 

You shoot him an unimpressed stare before you squat so you can match Tuk’s eye level, “You’re not gonna be an aunt, Tuk.” You ignore Lo’ak coughing out yet, “Don’t believe everything Lo’ak says, okay?”

“I give it one week.”

“LO’AK!” You and Kiri shout in unison. 

He laughs at your flabbergasted faces before he leaves to greet his avatar and human friends. 

The air gets noticeably mellower in his absence.

Tuk yawns, prompting you and Kiri to fix a temporary corner for her to rest in. 

Once Tuk is asleep on her corner, Kiri moves to lean on you, “I am glad I have him as my brother.”

You hum, encouraging her to continue. “Our family would have been consumed by the war if he didn’t keep that smile on his face despite everything.”

She looks up at you, “I am afraid I do not tell him enough.” You rub comforting circles on her back, waiting for her to move her gaze back to Tuk before you speak, “It is evident in your actions that you care.”

“But,” you glance down at her, “I am sure a verbal thanks would be well received.” 

Kiri smiles, satisfied with your answer. She sighs in contentment and her eyes to rest as silence is welcomed in the room.

You hear a rustle by the entrance and the sight of the Tsahik greets you. I see you, you gesture. She glances your way.

A beat.

Your breath stills and it is nothing like being engulfed by the ocean. Another beat passes and you think you finally understand what your siblings meant when they said phrases like our lungs burn. 

She gestures back after what feels like an eternity and you begin to understand why your siblings inhale that much oxygen back into their bodies after a dive. 

Her hand gestures towards Kiri, a silent order to wake the girl up as she was needed.

You coax the girl back to consciousness, shaking her shoulders lightly. When she doesn’t budge, you smile sheepishly at the tsahik, asking for a moment. “The human boy appears to be injured.”

Kiri groans, sitting up with her eyes still closed, “What did you do this time Spider?” She opens her eyes to roll them and turns to me with a look of betrayal when she sees her grandma opposite of her. 

You shrug, mouthing Tsahik orders, sorry. 

With Kiri leaving to help the Tsahik with the wounded and Tuk asleep, you are once again left in a room alone with your thoughts. 

You decide to busy yourself by unpacking your belongings. Since you had more time to prepare than they did before they left their home, the family–your family–offered to each carry a sack of your belongings for you. 

The sight of sacks filled to the brim with memories almost brings you to tears. Your friends and family from Awa’atlu insisted on claiming one sack to fill the moment you started packing. It almost pains you; the way you could tell exactly which sack contains the essence of your friends by the talon that’s poking out of the pile.  

It’s the talon that was used to ink you the first time. 

You swiftly pick it up. Burying the memories that are forcing themselves to be watched in a box as you do. A hollow promise to remember leaving your lips as you move it to a corner. 

Half of your stuff is unpacked when Neytiri enters in search of Tuk. Her face visibly softening at the sight of her youngest. 

She greets you with a hug and it places a smile on your face. 

“You have done well with this place,” She embraces you like she’s soothing you. Soothing your pain like it’s her own, like your pain is someone she’s well acquainted with.

She pulls away and briefly cradles your face in her hands before she moves to wake Tuk up from her corner. As she turns to leave, she looks at you again, “You are welcome to join me in the healers’ hut,” something shifts in her eyes, “if you want to?”

Neytiri asks the question like it is a statement. Like it’s something that’s been said before, like it’s a montage being played back, a tape being looped.

If you want to.

If you. want to. 

Want.

It’s a loaded question, one that’s been fired off before. 

Neytiri asks the question like it is a statement because in a way, it is. She knows the answer before the question is even muttered because she remembers the bullet wound that pierced her every time Jake asked if she wished to join him in the sea.

So when you shake your head and say, maybe next time, she smiles at you in understanding before she leaves.

When Neteyam returns a few hours later, he sees your back and a smile immediately makes its way to his face. He looks around, observing the lightly decorated space before he makes his presence known.

“I thought we were supposed to decorate our home together.” 

You laugh at the pout that makes its way to his face, guiding him to the sack of things you left untouched specifically for him. 

“Who says we still can’t?”

–

The days slip away from your fingers like water does. 

You’ve been living amongst the Omatikaya for two weeks now but you’re yet to climb a tree. 

Instead, your days are spent familiarising yourself with names and faces. Acquainting yourself with the healers, sitting in a corner accustoming yourself to materials they use to incorporate it in your weaving. Meeting the Avatars–Kiri’s mom–and the humans, letting Tuk drag you around to show you off to her friends.

There’s not much time for him to teach you their ways and you understand. 

Because war is exhausting. You aren’t part of raids like Neteyam is, but it still pains you to see even just a cut on his body. 

Lo’ak and Kiri nags you everyday to join them in the forest and you always reply with, No. 

Not because you’re unwilling to learn their ways, you simply wish to experience it with him by your side.

But your resolve gets chipped every day they nag. The dam’s wall cracking just a little bit every time they present you with reasons to join them. You need to see the woodsprites. You should see how many leaves I can fall on. Perhaps you’ll find more material to incorporate in your weaving.

The dam finally breaks when Tuk tells you all about the rivers, lakes, and waterfalls.

You’re not sure if it’s because it was Tuk that asked, or if it was the talk of varying bodies of water but you suddenly found yourself filled with an overwhelming desire to go despite his absence. 

Despite your desire, you still say no.

When you tell Tuk just that, she breaks off in a sprint. 

“Tuk– wait,” She slows down just enough for you to catch up, “Are you sure this is allowed? Are you not too young to visit the forest alone?”

She looks at you with a strange look, “But I am with you.”

“First of all, I told you no? Second, even if I did come, it would not make a difference. I am like a baby in the forest.”

She takes your words in and pouts when she realises they hold truth in them, she moves to open her mouth again but you beat her to it, “besides, neither of us have an ikran to fly, how are we supposed to visit the forest?”

You shoot her your signature I am speaking with reason smile and you’re about to get her to see your reasoning when she catches two figures behind you. 

“Lo’ak! Kiri! Come!”

Ah shit.

When the siblings approach the two of you and Tuk starts excitedly explaining her plan to get you to join them in the forest, you know you don’t have a way out.

That’s not true. You could always insist on staying, explain how you wish to go with Neteyam for your first trip instead.

So you say, “No.”

But it’s hollow. Anyone that knows you can tell that your resolve was worn off. That convincing you would be like child’s play.

Lo’ak carries Tuk in his arms like she’s still a child. You look away in an attempt to collect yourself and when you look back they’re all sporting similar pleading faces.

“It’ll only be an hour,” Lo’ak reasons.

Kiri nods, “We’ll be back before Neteyam notices.”

The implication hits you. The wave that’s been building up ever since you got here finally reaching your shore. But before you could properly mull over her words. Tuk tugs at your hand.

“C’mon! I know you miss the water.”

Tuk is a 12-year-old girl. She is not stronger than you are. So when she drags you to follow her siblings, you know that a part of you wants this to. That a part of you is allowing your body to get pulled. 

Your dam breaks and you can do nothing but follow the current.

—

“LO’AK YOU SKXAWNG,” You scream at his ear causing Lo’ak to make the ikran more unstable than it already is. 

“STOP SHOUTING YOU’RE MAKING IT WORSE.” He screams back. You can hear Tuk and Kiri laughing at your display but it’s difficult to appreciate the sound when your world is literally spinning.

Once you’re out the tunnel, he starts flying normally, “I told you. I don’t fly that bad. It was just the tunnel.” 

The words leave his mouth but they don’t reach you. The sight of the giant floating rocks reminding you too much of home. 

Kiri bumps Lo’ak’s ikran to get your attention. She ignores his whining but a smile still finds its way to her face, “Hey, you okay?” 

You’re not really sure how to properly convey your emotions without ruining the atmosphere. So Instead you ask a question.

“Is this why you guys spent so much time in the coves of the ancestors?”

Did the floating rocks also remind you a little too much of home?

You see Kiri smile at you, an answer ready to be spoken sitting on her lips.

But she never gets the chance to.

Because hundreds of ikrans come flocking from behind you before she even gets to open her mouth.

You hear Tuk cry out, the sound effectively shaking the two siblings out of their shock. They expertly steer their ikrans upwards, moving so they could fly above the flock. 

It’s a good lesson on perspective, you think.

One moment you feel like throwing up, the terror in your body making it go cold. 

Next, you’re staring at the picture it paints in wonder.

Colours bleeding from the body to their wings, creating patterns that are unique to each creature. 

They flap their wings and you catch yourself wondering if this was what led you to meet that beautiful boy two years ago.

“Shit,” The curse leaves Lo’ak’s mouth and it drags terror back in your body. 

You look between him and Kiri, the worried expression shared between the two doing nothing to help the chill that’s quickly making its way back to your body.

“What’s wrong?” 

They both steer their ikran to follow the flock, hiding behind the rocks as they do, “Sky people.”

It has your ears ringing. Creatures you’ve only heard of from stories told by humans and warriors in the clan. Sky people can’t navigate the hallelujah mountains, you remember Neteyam saying. 

“Why aren’t they attacking the ship? Don’t they usually attack?” The question comes from Tuk, the twelve-year-old safely tucked in her sister’s chest.

Kiri and Lo’ak share another look before speaking in unison, “Avatars.”

“We have to call this in.” Lo’ak says, reaching for the microphone on his throat as he does.

“Devil dog– I mean– Dad, do you copy?”

He hands you an in-ear while you all wait for a response.

“Lo’ak?”

“Yes. There’s an aircraft flying over the mountains. Over.”

“And it’s not getting attacked by the ikrans? Over.”

“No,” Lo’ak pauses, “We think it could be dreamwalkers.”

You point at the aircraft that’s now flying just a few feet below you. You catch a glimpse of something blue poking out and you gesture for the siblings to fly behind the rock completely.

“Shit. We’re sure it’s avatars. Over.”

“We? Who's we? Over.”

“Kiri, Tuk,” He pauses, looking over at you in a silent question. You nod against your mind’s orders. Your face scrunching when Lo’ak adds your name.

Regret takes root in your body when you hear Neteyam repeat your name through the radio. You hear the silent question in his voice, why did you leave? You try not to think about it. Pushing down the thoughts, saving them for later. 

When you return to the conversation, Lo’ak’s telling his father where he is.

You land on one of the floating rocks to wait for their parents’ arrival. The moment you do, Tuk bursts into tears as she comes sprinting to you. 

You let her cling onto your lower body, soothing her sobs my rubbing slow circles on her back. 

She turns to face her siblings, “Will the clan have to move again?”

The two share a look before they bend down to her level. 

Kiri pats down Tuk’s hair before she speaks, “Oh, Tuk. I’m sure everything will be alright.” 

Lo’ak nods, “And if it isn’t then we’ll just drive them away!” He ruffles her hair, “Like we always do, okay?” He shoots her a smile and it warms your heart when you see her mirror his expression.

A shout of your name brings the group’s attention back to the sky. Tuk immediately rushing from your side to the ikrans to greet her parents. 

You see Neteyam move towards you and you reach out to him. Regret and guilt resurfacing when he pulls you in an embrace.��

He cradles your face in his hands, “Are you alright yawne?” 

Worry takes over his features and you really can’t bear to see it so you bury your head on his chest, the rapid beating of his heart doing nothing but worsen the guilt.

“I’m alright now.”

You break away from each other and approach his parents.

“Go straight to the camp, is that clear?” Jake looks his children in the eyes as he speaks, “Your mother and I will handle this.”

Neteyam moves to speak, “But dad–” He goes silent at the pointed stare Jake gives him, “Make sure they all get home safe.”

–

You spent the journey back pondering over the right words to pick when you eventually have to answer his silent questions. 

I’m sorry. 

Would that be enough?

I can’t say no to Tuk.

Are you really going to result to blaming a child?

You arrive at camp and Neteyam pulls you to your hut, his siblings knowing better than to follow. 

“Why were you there?”

Anticipating a question doesn’t make an answer come to you easier. If anything, it makes it more difficult. You can’t just blurt out anything and blame it on the lack of time when you revisit the conversation in the future. 

You can’t blurt out just anything because you’ve thought of every possible response and you understand the insinuations tied whatever words leave your mouth.

“I’m sorry.”

Your gaze is pointed at the ground, unable to bring yourself to look at him, afraid of the emotions you could find if you do.

He sighs, his hands move to hold your face and you get to take a good look at his face.

“You are not mad,” You say slowly, your observations shocking you.

To your surprise, he lets out another laugh. “No yawne, I’m not mad at you. I was mad that you were put in a situation like that. I don’t want you hurt.”

You furrow your eyebrows at his statement, “You’re not mad that I was planning on going to the forest without you?”

He laughs at your question like the thought never even crossed his mind and it stings.

Perhaps the blame is on you for thinking you know him enough to predict his thoughts just because your souls happened to be intertwined. 

At the end of the day, two years is still nothing compared to the seventeen years spent getting moulded to be a warrior that prioritises protection.

When your body subconsciously inches back from his hold, the smile drops from his face.

“What’s wrong?”

He moves closer to you, “Are you hurt anywhere?”

His concern brings a small smile to your face. It makes you realise just how little you know this side of him. 

The notion of getting to know half your soul better should excite you, but right now it just makes you sad.

You’ve heard of stories from his siblings; throwing himself in between them and a weapon, mediating arguments with their dad by taking the blame– but you’ve never seen it for yourself.

Protectiveness is inked on him the same way the markings on your chest are.  

And somehow, you never took notice.

“Yawne, did you hurt yourself?”

You shake your head in response. Holding his hand as you collect your thoughts.

“I’m yet to set foot in the forest,” You watch as shock takes over his face, “I wanted my first breath of your home–my home–to be with you.”

The words sink in and you watch as regret made its presence known on his face. 

“I’m sorry. But I’ve been busy and–” He cuts himself off, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be making excuses.”

You tell him it’s okay and he insists that it’s not. 

The next thing you know, the two of you are sneaking out.

“Ma’teyam, while I do appreciate the gesture, are you sure we can’t wait till tomorrow?” You ask as he helps you up Yoki. 

“You would love the forest better at night. The plant life on the reef reminded me so much of home,” he hops on the ikran, sitting behind you, “I’m hoping it’ll have the same effect on you.”

–

When he lands Yoki by the lake and spots the huge smile on your face, he wishes he took you here sooner. 

You sprint towards the body of water, Neteyam nodding when you ask him, is it safe to swim? 

The sight of you swimming with a carefree smile on your face makes his heart ache. 

You were depriving yourself of this because of him.

Because you wanted to experience this with him. 

Neteyam jumps in the water. He twists his body, looking for you before he takes a deep breath to check underwater. 

The moment he does, you come emerging from his side, pulling at his feet with a smile on your face. You urge for him to follow you deeper into the water.

You are right, it does remind me of home, you sign. 

Neteyam watches as happiness blooms on your face at the sight of water life, his gaze staying on your face despite your finger pointing at something you found fascinating. 

Thank you, you sign. 

He shakes his head as he moves his hands, I wish I brought you here sooner. 

Air eventually leaves his body and he’s forced to tap you and gesture upwards for some assistance. 

When you two reach the surface you hit him lightly as he gasps for air, “You skxawng! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

He responds by splashing water on you. The smile on your face was worth having to suffer your retaliation. 

The carefree atmosphere brings him back to the reef. When all he had to do was hunt and carry his weight, when he didn’t have war plaguing his mind. 

He shakes the thought off, he was not raised to think like that. He shifts his focus to you, your eyes trained on the bioluminescent life around you, lips fixed to a smile. 

The sight of you staring at his home–yours, soon, he hopes–in wonder eases the weight of the guilt he wears every day. 

I’m sorry for dragging you to war.

I’m sorry for being selfish.

I’m sorry I can’t let the title promised to me go.

He doesn’t say it, afraid he’d make you realise he wasn’t worth it. Don’t think like that, he imagines you saying. The thought of you enough to ward the thoughts away temporarily. 

The light from the flower you’re holding hits your face perfectly and Neteyam feels the urge to kiss you so strongly that his body moves out of its own accord.

One moment you’re holding a flower between your hands. A beat passes and you find yourself holding his face as he pours unspoken words into the kiss, hoping his soul says what he can’t and that yours understands. 

Later, when the both of you are in the comfort of blankets, your back pressed against his, you tell him being with you reminds me of the ocean. When he asks why, you respond like it’s the simplest thing, you leave me breathless. 

Perhaps it is simple because it is the truth. He leaves you breathless and you are the air that keeps him from suffocating.

a/n: don't we all just love messy writing. . . if u got the cloud atlas quote ily! and as always! feedback and reblogs are appreciated! i'm genuinely having so much fun writing lol, hope you all have a good week! the next part is theee angst part … r we ready

taglist (open) : @luvlykrispy @nao-cchi