#the scene. the scene where her younger self is talking to her and it's framed as if the person talking is louis but then when they take-

[mollycabot]

Casey x sister reader

Messed with the wrong person

Y/N= your name Y/N/N= your nickname

A/N the Svu team deals with a lot of sexual assault case daily but what happens when a case they deal with that involves the victim in question is Ada Casey Novak younger sister. First law and order fan fiction hope you guys enjoy it. (Mentions of sexual assault and talks about being rape) and tiny mentioned of self harm not in great detail

It was just a other day on the job and Olivia and Elliot and the team where helping victims of sex crimes however a report came in of a breaking and entry into an apartment that is housed college students.

Olivia and Elliot went to the scene and was greeted with a girl covered in bruises and blood and naked leaning against the wall as the others where gathering evidence, Olivia went to talk to the girl Elliot gave her his jacket and Olivia warped her in a blanket as well to cover her up and to keep her warm.

“Hun can you please tell us your name and what happened?” Olivia asked the girl was in shock and confusion. “I don’t want to talk about and I don’t want my sister to find out.” The girl said scared.

Olivia then asked “who your sister sweetheart and this wasn’t your fault we going to find this guys and make sure he’s locked up for good” said Olivia.

The girl just sat there and said nothing Liv then went to carry the girl to the ambulance she looked to be no older then 20 at least feeling sorry for the girl she got int he ambulance and rode with her.

Once at the hospital the doctors checked her out and sent the rape kit off to the labs as Liv was taking her statement. “Hunny you need to tell me your name as this will make it easier for everyone.” Olivia said kindly and gently. The girl looked away from the detective. “My name is Y/N”. Said the girl and Olivia asked about her last name the girl took a breath and said, “it’s Y/N Novak.” Olivia stood shocked and look at the girl. Olivia then had to ask, “is your sister Ada Casey Novak?” Olivia asked the girl nodded and with that Olivia stepped outside the hospital room.

Olivia called Elliot who was back at the station.

“Hello Liv” Elliot said, “listen Elliot I got the girls name and last name and she Casey Novak younger sister and I know full well that Casey is going to go crazy we both know how much she loves her younger sister and wants to protect her at all costs and that this guy will be lucky if Casey hasn’t killed him.” Olivia said not knowing that Elliot phone was on speaker as he was busy writing up his report and not realising that Casey had heard the whole conversation the look of anger was an under statement.

“What the hell is this!” Casey shouted and Elliot look a taken back “what hospital” and what this guys name I want him getting the mix sentence he can get”. Casey shouted as she got her coat and head her way to the hospital.

Elliot phone Liv to let her know about the red head is on her way and is ready to kill someone,

As Olivia was stood outside the girls room Casey walked up and pushed Olivia against the wall. “Why the fuck did you not call me as soon as got the case!”casey demanded. “She didn’t want to give us her name at first and she was so badly beaten and shocked that she wasn’t in any frame of mine Casey you know how victims can be and I want to find this guy as much as you do but being angry isn’t going to help anyone.” Olivia said and with that Casey let go of the detective and walked into the room where she found her sister lying on the bed crying. Casey took a seat next to the bed and took her sister hand in hers.

“Y/N it’s ok your sister here and I’m going to make sure that no one hurts you ever again.” Casey said. The younger girl pulled herself up and try to give her sister a hug but hiss at the pain of her broken ribs Casey placed a gentle hand on her chest and gently pushed her down on the bed so she wouldn’t hurt herself more. “It’s ok Y/N I’m not leaving your side and can you tell who did this to you?” She ask.

Olivia came in with three cups of coffee Casey helped her sister sit up as Olivia handed everyone their cords and sat down.

“I don’t know there names but there where a group of boys who are in there final year of college the also very popular and went my ex and I broke off she went to tell them I was a lesbian and a piece of shit who is nothing but a worthless pile of trash and that I’m nothing compared to my sister and that I’m not a woman and that they will show me I’m a woman and then when I got home later in the evening I started working on my painting when I heard my door got broken and these two guys walked in and started trashing my place and destroyed my art works that I been working on and when I asked them to stop and leave the start to beat me up and one of them said well my lady it’s time to show you how an women is really use for and they started to rip my clothes off and I was fighting them so hard and shouting stop please stop they didn’t and then one of them stood over me with my lamp and bashed it over my head then I can’t remember anything after that”. Y/N said drink her coffee.

Olivia was shocked and Casey looked pissed and once the results of the kit came back it was positive for rape and that the where traces of semen but pregnancy and sexual transmitted diseases where negative. Which was a good thing meaning they have the evidence and that Y/N was going to be ok well as ok as she could be. Once Y/N was discharged from the hospital they all went back to the office and they started the case for this and Olivia and Elliot went to the college to start looking for the guys who did it.

While they where out Y/N was sat in Casey office with Casey. “Case can I borrow your clothes if you got some going spare and can I go take a shower?” Ask Y/N. “Sure Casey said want me to come with you and stand outside?” Casey said Y/N nodded and they headed straight for the showers. Casey was leaning against the sinks as Y/N was in the shower. “Y/N/N it’s been a while, I know this is hard and you might not feel clean but trust me all the dirt and stuff is long gone.” Casey said in a gentle tone knowing how the victims tend to be after an event like this. As Casey got no response she had a growing concern and she walked up to see her sister sat on the floor of the shower water pouring over her, her skin turning red from the hot water and her curled into herself with blood coming from her arms. Casey turned the shower off and warped her sister in a towel and picked her up and sat her on the sink given that Casey sister always struggled with mental health issues well before this event as her parents always saw her on the lower level and that she was a let down in not going down the same road as Casey.

But Y/N passion was for art and loved everything about art and Casey was always supportive. Once Y/N clam down Casey handed her the clothes and she jumped off the sink and went to the changing blocks and put the clothes on, once back in Casey office Casey took out the first aid kit and started to treat her sister arms.

After Elliot and Olivia caught the guys thank to Y/N’s roommate who installed CTV cameras in the living room of the apartment they where able to find the guys and got the attack on video with More then enough evidence of this they had definitely got the case In the bag.

At trial

Once in the courtroom everyone took there seats and Olivia and Y/N sat behind Y/N attackers and Casey after Casey showing all evidence and after Y/N give her statements the people decided the result of the trial and Y/N attackers where found guilty on all counts and where sentence to 20+ years in jail with out bail and Casey couldn’t be more happy to have got justice for her sister as the attackers where escorted out Casey turned and said you mess with the wrong person pal no one hurts my sister and gets away with it. Casey said angry at the men once court was over she meet up with Olivia and her sister.

Y/N ran and gave Casey a hug, “thank you so much case your are awesome at what you do and I appreciate everything you done for me right form when we where kids I love sister” Y/N said with genuine happiness Casey hugged back and said that she thankful for her sister and that she always here to protect her as she the light of Casey life. And her and Olivia and Y/N decided to got and get some food to celebrate the trail and that those attackers are away for a long time and will never hurt anyone again.

After that event Casey help her sister unroll herself form the course and help move her into her own apartment block not to far from Olivia and helped her move all her things and Y/N decided to carry on with her art life and Casey couldn’t be more proud of her and knowing she was close by and will never be far again Casey decided to stay over at her sisters for tonight as it had been an eventful day and eventful past couple of weeks.

[hina-has-no-life]

Dark Era: Dazai and Akutagawa

The Scene in Dark Era where Dazai shoots Akutagawa was abusive and messed up, but sadly justified on Dazai's end.

Now this may sound harsh but let's take a step back from the emotions the scene causes and look at it purely logical and analytical. (No I am not excusing the abuse Akutagawa went through. Dazai had no right to abuse him but this scene is more than abuse.)

What happens in this scene?

Per Dazai's orders as an Executive within the Port Mafia agents from Mimic were captured to be taken to Kouyou for interrogation, as is her department. Akutagawa then kills the hostages in retaliation for the casualties the Mafia suffered at the hands of Mimic. Dazai proceeds to punch and shoot Akutagawa.

In essence this is what happened: Akutagawa disregarded direct orders of his executive in front of multiple people and said executive. Plain and simple, this is insubordination.

We know, due to Stormbringer, that insubordination of the Boss and his executives (who essentially work as extensions of the Boss within the BSD Mafia) is a death sentence. It's at the same level as betrayal.

So, while messed up and abusive, Dazai's reaction can be classified as a mercy. Had it been another executive or Mori, Akutagawa would be dead. And no, you can not use that Chuuya cares for Akutagawa as an argument against Akutagawa dying here were it Chuuya. Chuuya's loyality is to the Mafia and Mori in a situation like this. We saw this at the end of the Guild Arc when Chuuya asked Mori what punishment Akutagawa should face for disregarding Mafia orders and going on to the Moby Dick. Since the moment in Dark Era is a similar case, it is safe to assume Chuuya would have asked Mori for the punishment and then delivered it.

Now here comes the much more interesting part about this scene I sadly do not see talked about. (If you find posts talking about it please send them my way!)

This scene shows us, in a very subtle way, how the dynamic between Akutagawa and Dazai works.

But how? Let's count it: - Akutagawa is very self assured in his insubordination. - Dazai gives him a chance to speak up about his reasoning, to defend himself and ask for forgiveness for his blatant insubordination. - Akutagawa in turn arrogantly doubles down on his decision. - Dazai punishes him.

While Dazai framed the moment at the end as a teaching moment with his comment about Akutagawas use of Rashomon, it is mostly a punishment. Yes there are 2 moments that can be seen as a teaching moment but what Dazai does is in fact nothing more than a punishment in his eyes.

(Giving Akutagawa the chance to think about his rash action was the first teaching moment btw)

Now the way the scene is handeled with it's framing tells us something interesting about the relationship between Dazai and Akutagawa.

Dazai actively favours Akutagawa with his treatment.

But how? It's a good question because the answer is very much hidden.

Both characters treat the situation as something usual. This in turn tells us that Akutagawa often commits insubordination against Dazai. And only Dazai, since Dazai takes him under his wing as his direct and only student. (This is made clear in the short where he actually recruits a younger Akutagawa) This means that Dazai does favour his student above other subordinates rather openly. We know he would not let this slide with other people under his command. The scene at the beginning of the Dark Era LN with Hirotsu shows this.

Akutagawa's reaction to being shot also tells us that this is the first time Dazai points a weapon at him. While not expecting, but accepting, the punch he did not expect to face a harsher punishment than this.

He is visibly surprised. But not just him.

In the Anime adaption (which is the best LN adaption in BSD) we see that even the other subordinates around them only become surprised when Dazai draws the gun and shoots Akutagawa.

Did Dazai think Akutagawa would survive being shot at? 100% yes. He even says as much after the fact.

(This is actually what makes teaching moment number 2, since he remarks that Akutagawa "finally" managed to protect himself with Rashomon. This tells us that they were actively training this and Akutagawa was failing at it for some time already.)

In short: - Akutagawa feels very much secure in his position at Dazai's side, despite the regular abuse. - Dazai favours Akutagawa openly enough within the PM that other subordinates are surprised when Akutagawa faces an openly harsh punishment. - Akutagawa, in committing insubordination, regulary disrespects Dazai as his superior and Dazai let's it slide. This is something that mirrors the relationship between Dazai and Mori, as Dazai does disrespect Mori in private and Mori let's this slide. (The biggest difference in this relationship mirror is that Dazai never disrespects Mori in front of other people.)

In my eyes (and I hope we learn more soon) this also shows that Dazai's abuse of Akutagawa has multiple reasons. - Dazai sees himself in Akutagawa. Dazai also hates himself and blames himself for shortcomings so he projects this onto Akutagawa, who he then abuses because of it. - A warped sense of care. In his own, very fucked up, way Dazai does care for Akutagawa. Is he good at showing it? Absolutely not. He wants Akutagawa to be stronger than Dazai himself is, he wants him to be better. So he favors him but also abuses him. - He favors Akutagawa so Akutagawa needs to get strong extremely fast to avoid a conflict within the ranks of the Mafia. - Dazai tries to get Akutagawa as strong as possible as fast as possible since Akutagawa effectively went from joining to third highest rank in 10 seconds and needs to prove himself in front of everyone else, not just Dazai's eyes. In this he ends up abusing Dazai because he himself is a child with a very limited understanding of teaching. What he does know, through Mori as his teacher, is that cruelty and abuse are effective teaching methods that work faster than proving patience and taking things slow.

(am I saying that Mori physically abused Dazai? No. But he, as shown in Beast and Fifteen, honestly answers to the questions his students ask him. It is entirely possible that he simply told Dazai different teaching methods and Dazai decided on the fastest one instead of the best and most effective.)

and thank you @sorcerersandskillusers for sending me the LN parts I mentioned above!! I didn't have the energy to look them up when I initially posted this and he did me the favor of getting them for me!

To summarize: The scene is a punishment for direct insubordination and shows us, the viewer, a deeper look into the relationship between Akutagawa and Dazai.

[audiblehush]

Listen, I’m on the “I’ll believe it when I see it” train with all these inconsistent S3 rumors because 1) LOL the fucking Sun, people, really?! and 2) “Well, the friend of my friend said… and they’re really reliable! Trust me!” 🙄

But even if it all ends up being true: I’ve already seen a handful of great posts talking about no, it’s NOT actually harming Colin’s character, thanks, and would make a lot of sense from what we know about where he’s at mentally so far - I’ll try not to rehash stuff they’ve already argued really well… and probably fail once i get going 😬

But I would also like to throw out that canonically… Book!Colin ALSO had experience prior to his relationship with Penelope?? Not to rakeish levels, but yeah, he had sexual encounters with women… That he then specifically mentions as meaning NOTHING once he compares it to what he has with Penelope because with her there is actual LOVE built over YEARS of INTIMACY.

And since Show!Colin is markedly younger than his book counterpart, it would make sense that this is something he is exploring, whether the initial choice is through coercion from his brother(s), or because he is curious, or… whatever he reason is?? It doesn’t matter??

He’s YOUNG. Being young means being curious about sex! It often means learning over time the difference between mere physicality vs intimacy. Learning about sex can be messy, confusing, wonderful, terrible, mediocre, not what you thought it’d be, etc etc etc.

Regardless of if we’re taking about Penelope OR Colin: Context is everything and WE. DON’T. HAVE. ANY. YET.

Penelope has her own coping mechanism for what she’s dealing with on her own throughout the show with LW; why is Colin any different, whether that’s drinking, tea, sex, etc? He’s clearly exploring different aspects of himself and finding what appeals or doesn’t appeal to him. And that’s normal!!

The IRONY of people claiming they’re furious at Colin treating women like sex toys… when that’s exactly how some people view Colin for Penelope. He is more than a prop for her! Their whole story is that they choose each other after years of self discovery and recognition of each others true selves… ALL of their past experiences included.

Even if the rumored second instance is true… 1) it would clearly be used as a way to prove that he’s miserable and NEEDS love and Pen and intimacy and 2) characters make mistakes... often ones they learn from. Pen has made her fair share of poor choices, too. Colin has and WILL make mistakes because that is what interesting, developing characters do, yet y’all act like he is unforgivable for being given his own plot scenes. He is NOT just there to have sex with Penelope!! He is a character outside of his romance with his own struggles to grapple with!

Also, please be real - this was SO NORMAL for men during this era, especially at his age! Why are MODERN DAY AUDIENCES acting so fucking scandalized?? One or two instances doesn’t even make him a real rake, ESPECIALLY if it’s being framed as him realizing it isn’t what he ultimately wants! Why are you even watching this show if something like this is so offensive to you?!

If all this ends up being accurate (which again, I doubt), I will admit I’ll probably be picky about how it’s handled… but I’ve always felt that way about this pairing in the short time I’ve been in the fandom.

But I NEED people to chill the fuck out until the season actually airs. You’re lambasting something you HAVEN’T EVEN SEEN YET.

[tua-five]

Season 2 Episode 8

Starting off strong..

I know for a fact I've said this before, but I really dislike the handler. I hate how she said that she and five have a "colorful history." Makes it worse that she winked after. No, thank you.

Okay, next in line, we have Reginald. And I noticed this before, but it deserves some actual recognition. Pogo drew a picture when he was just a little guy (and technically, he still is a little guy here). It was a picture of him and Grace and Reggie in a line holding hands, the classic kid drawing. And we know Reginald hates kids, but he loves Pogo and Grace and his wife, so he's not without compassion. Anyhoo. Reggie framed that picture and put it up on his shelf just outside his office. If he was truly cruel, he would have thrown it away. But he loves Pogo. Or maybe he just loves Grace, and Grace loves Pogo, so he did that. Either way, my point still stands.

Also, can we talk about Aidan's wonderful, quick, and flexible abilities? He wasn't actually supposed to do the scene where he lists off the 7 symptoms of paradox psychosis. He had to learn all of that in less than a day. I mean, memorizing all of that that fast is really impressive.

Okay, also. Luther stops Five from going straight to his older self. He says he should break the ice because he will scare himself. Because yeah. Seeing your dead "younger" brother smiling at you is better than your younger self...

I love how in true Diego fashion, he says, "I'm Deigo, I have a knife."

I love how the writers did a flashback to Five saying "[Viktor] is the bomb" and then Diego repeating it. It's a full circle moment. And then Diego says, "[Viktor] will always be the bomb." (I'm going to make a separate post about this whole thing because I have things to say about this, s3, and what we know of season 4).

The brain scene is so terrible. It's sad and gross. I mean, I get it. Eating the brain to remember. But still...

Also, let's talk about the sibling's responses. Ben says it's not her fault. She hit her head and can't remember anything. This shows how she views Ben, always sticking up for her and the nice one. Allison says she got overheated and wiped her mind clean, and I'm not exactly sure what that means or what she's trying to say by that, so if anyone has insight or anything. Luther says she's lazy and didn't study. I think that this does show how Luther would've acted as a kid. Trying to be number 1 and whatnot. It just makes sense for him. Now, Klaus says maybe she's been faking it all along. And I don't know what to make of it. I can't imagine Klaus being like that. I mean... maybe. Like, he says it half-heartedly or just because he doesn't have enough braincells, and when [Viktor] was younger, [he'd] interpret things like that as he means it. Reginald says that they're all wrong. That [he] just refuses to remember. And I do think this is in part true. And it also just makes sense that Reginald says that.

Frick guys. I'm not ready for tomorrow's episode. Not with Ben...

Today's gifs!

[btr-rewatch]

Big Time Rush Season 1, Episode 18: “Big Time Concert” (Part 3)

Highlights: 3/4 of Big Time Rush move on with their lives.

In my previous post, we'd just left off at the scene where Hawk and his assistant have made the decision to target James in their big "take down Rocque Records once and for all" plan.

Over at Rocque Records, Kelly informs Gustavo that since Griffin spent $2 million on the band, it'll take that same amount to get them back.

This scene brings back such memories of a younger me being so intrigued by Kelly's necklace because it looks like big pieces of Orbit chewing gum.

I just. I want to chew on that necklace, ok?

Kelly thinks she's figured out a way they can get that kind of money, and Gustavo is thrilled...until Kelly tells him he's got to sell his mansion.

Meanwhile, everyone is settling back in at the Knight house (minus James, who's out riding his tiny bike around and brooding). I like the touch of having the wall of family pictures that contain actual photos of the actors—I spot a handful of Kendall's headshots that I recognize. I especially like that there's the same photo twice.

Rather than seeing it as a funny mistake on the part of the set designer, I choose to believe either

Mama Knight likes that picture so much that she had to include it in two different frames

Or, alternatively, someone (maybe Katie or Carlos) decided at some point to pull a prank where they slowly start replacing every photo on the wall with that one single picture and see how long it takes before anyone notices.

Kendall asks Logan to go over where they are currently in their "Rebuild our Minnesota dreams schedule," and can I just say that the guys (minus James) have slipped back into their lives as nobodies in Minnesota seamlessly? Like, I know it was James's dream, and the whole reason they went was because Kendall's offer made it so James could have that shot at stardom, and Kendall never really wanted to be in a boyband, but still. They had so many opportunities in that short time, experienced so much, made friends, established romantic relationships, and saw how amazing that life can be. You'd think they'd all be mourning at least a little. Unless they're just in a different type of denial than James was.

Although, I suppose their response can make sense when you look at their individual personalities. Logan's pragmatic, so I'm sure it could have been easy for him to brush off their brief taste of stardom with self-assurances that it wasn't a sturdy, logical career to pursue anyway, and failure was much more likely than success in the long run.

Carlos is such a carefree, go-with-the-flow, high-on-life guy that he can find happiness anywhere. He rolls with the punches and just looks to the next exciting thing (ie. becoming a radioactive superhero. Love that for you, Los)

Kendall is a little trickier because he does kind of have an obsessive personality, and he's just as determined about things as James. I'm almost surprised he doesn't take the end of the band, his chance with Jo, and so on harder. But then there's the part of me that says there are other things at play that overpower whatever sadness Kendall might have, such as him seeing it as a chance to finally relax for a bit. He'd been working so hard to hold everything together in L.A., churning out pep talks and dealing with Gustavo and constant shenanigans. He can take a breath now. Also! While I don't think Kendall has necessarily had a difficult life overall (it's clear he's had a good, loving upbringing, has a nice house, etc) I don't think his life has been easy. He watched his parent's marriage fall apart when he was super young; his dad walked out, his mom has had to work her butt off to support him and Katie, and Kendall also has a job (I think the only one of the boys who does) to help bring in extra money. That kid knows that sometimes life throws you a curveball, and you've got to hold your head up and just keep going. No time for a pity party or wallowing in "what ifs."

So yeah, anyway...tangent over. My favorite part of this little scene is the look Kendall gives to Logan after he reads the first item off their list.

Look at him. There's so much love in that look. He's so proud of Logan going after his dreams. I love Kendall, and I love their friendship, and I love this stupid show.

And I need to briefly get off topic here solely to mention how much I've always liked Logan's accent. Love the way he says words. He turns the short "e" sound into short "i" in so many things. "Ten" becomes "tin," and "Kendall" becomes "Kindall." I also have a distinct memory of one episode where he manages to turn the two-syllable word "ruin" into the single-syllable word "roon." Always got a kick out of that.

With all this sidetracking, it is going to take me FOREVER to get through this episode. I am barely twenty minutes in.

After Super Carlos bursts into the room and announces they're going to start righting the wrongs they left behind when they moved to L.A., the guys go to apologize to Mrs. Magicowski. They promised to shovel her walkway if she let them use her car to get to the audition, then they ditched her and went to be a band, lol. I love Mrs. Magicowski; she's such a sweet old woman. I want to know more about the relationship the boys have with her. I imagine they took good care of her prior to leaving—checking in on her, shoveling, raking leaves, bringing her meals—and in return, she was like a grandma to all of them.

They look ridiculous, btw.

I mean, Kendall I can excuse, but Logan and Carlos look like they've just rung a doorbell and are waiting for candy on Halloween. Bunch of weirdos.

No, wait, you know what? This is exactly how they looked on Halloween night as kids, I guarantee it. Carlos as a superhero, Logan as a doctor, Kendall as a hockey player, and James like a rockstar. Speaking of James, what's he up to?

Oh.

Shake it off, Jamesy.

Also, the tiny bike still is very funny, but @day-dreams22, I'm pretty sure you're right that it's a BMX bike. After he gets hit, there's a shot where you can see the words "goose" on the bike, which means it's likely a Mongoose-brand BMX trick/stunt bike. And look at that hop off the curb. James Diamond, secret BMX stunt rider CONFIRMED.

Ok, you know what? I was aiming for 4 posts total for this episode, but it looks like it'll end up being 5 because I'm rambling so much during these. Hope no one minds having to split it into so many parts, but I worry if they're too long, they'll be difficult to read and get through. Anyway, I'm having a lot of fun being able to just go on about whatever, haha.

And James getting hit by a car seems like a fitting place to leave this episode. Hope he survives <3

[i-heart-hxh]

Whenever you can I'd really like to hear your thoughts about this and if you think it's accurate! ❤️ I absolutely adore your hxh meta and can't wait to hear more!!!

Hello! Thank you so much for the kind words, it means a lot to me! ❤️ These are fantastic observations and questions, as these traits are an important part of the basis of Gon's issues, and this tendency of his to rush into danger leads him into a lot of dark situations throughout the series. It's one of the most concerning aspects of his character.

His self-esteem issues are definitely at the root of this. Gon seems to have a fundamental belief that his life isn't worth much--hence why he tells Killua he's allowed to talk about dying, but Killua isn't. I think a big piece of this comes from the abandonment issues, as well as his issues with guilt (which I still need to write a post about). If even his own father won't stick around for him, what is he worth? And notice he frames Ging's choice in such a way where he doesn't assign blame to Ging--he believes that in a choice between him and being a Hunter, he must just be the inferior choice. Not a great basis for self-worth.

As much as he looks up to Kite, I don't think his encounter with Kite when he was younger helped--he was blamed directly for the mama foxbear's death and Kon becoming an orphan. And while I don't doubt at all that Mito loves him, I think Gon may see himself as a burden on her to a certain degree, and he tries to be as self-sufficient as possible as a result. (That's more of a headcanon of mine, but I do think the complex way their relationship is framed and Gon's behavior in the series supports this to a degree.)

Because he doesn't see his life as being worth much, he tries to take on everything alone, and he sees strength and power as a method to prove that he does have worth after all. If he can prove he's strong, maybe he isn't worthless after all! If he's strong, maybe he won't be a burden to others or unintentionally cause them harm (think about the mama foxbear, and ultimately Kite himself)! If he can become a Hunter and find Ging, maybe he can understand why Ging didn't stay with him, and he won't have to wonder why he left him behind any more!

I definitely think dangerous situations and escaping death give him a a sense that he is capable and worthy, plus it's a rush to him--a form of excitement and stimulation that he craves. Also, keep in mind that Gon grew up among nature, including many wild animals. While "survival of the fittest" is an oversimplification of how nature works, certainly at the same time, a weak animal is more likely to fall prey to a predator. So of course being strong is the more advantageous position to be in, and especially as a person who isn't sure of his worth or his place in the world.

I think he believes the stronger he becomes, the more dangerous situations he can escape, and the more strong enemies he can defeat, the more capable and worthy he'll feel. Because of how much his self-esteem then hinges on whether he's strong or not, things like Hisoka punching him and giving him his badge make Gon struggle to feel like he has value. The times we see Gon cry, like in his conversation with Kurapika in the airship about that moment with Hisoka, or in the scene after he couldn't win against Knuckle and couldn't go to NGL to rescue Kite, often relate directly to him not feeling strong enough.

Also yet again (back to my usual refrain), this is in fact another subversion of shounen expectations. Shounen protagonists tend to be energetic and feisty teen boys who throw themselves into dangerous situations easily, and in most shounen series this is a trait that's not treated with much weight--they can handle it, nothing truly bad generally happens to them as a result, this trait of theirs is treated as something brave and admirable and "cool."

But with Gon, Togashi does give it weight--others worry about him and comment on this trait of his, his recklessness has real costs for him that escalate over time (think about the results of Gon tailing Hisoka in the Hunter Exam, Gon vs Gido, the end of Greed Island, and of course CAA), and ultimately his disregard for his own worth and safety essentially leads him to throw away his own life. In Gon, it's not an admirable trait, but a concerning and tragic one, with deep roots in his psyche.

It's brilliant to me how many of Gon's traits all link together--his low self-esteem comes from his abandonment issues and leads to his recklessness, he has a selfish streak because he's young and still somewhat immature and grew up isolated, and his short-sightedness as a result of that manifests in his sense of morality not being fully developed. And yet even with all of that, he's still a sweet, cheerful, kind, smart, and encouraging boy. I absolutely love the complexity of his character and how, if you carefully analyze him, the way he is makes so much sense.

Thank you for asking!

[russian-spider]

I rewatched Richie and Tiff's scene from "fishes" today (the one they have in Donna's bedroom), after binging the show recently, and I realized I had overlooked something, because there was so much going on and it was exhausting. Something about Carmy. Richie and Tiff talk about him, how he made sprite for her, but instead of praising him, they just keep saying he's weird and why would you try to get him to date Claire when she's so nice. And even though I wish Richie had said something good about Carmy, I don't hold it against him because that's what their relationship was like then and we know how much he loves him. But I feel like, from the start, I had been taking Richie's side, in a way, because he was so funny and interesting to watch, he was this loser looking for a purpose and I could not not root for him. I was rooting for Carmy too, but when we met him he's already a big time chef, he's made it in the world, we know he's talented and successful and too good for the Beef. He's this man who Richie has known since forever that's younger than him but has achieved so much more and is now his boss, how can Richie not feel shitty about it? So, I watched the show hoping Richie would earn Carmy's respect, get some self-esteem back. But I think I got it wrong. I think he already had Carmy's respect, but Carmy didn't had his.

I believe that, when you grow up around someone, no matter how many years pass, you will always be who you were to them, and no matter how much you change, you will always regress a little when you're with them, back to that old dynamic. The Carmy we met is not the one Richie knows. His Carmy is shy and bad with people, lonely and artsy and different. He's Mikey's baby brother, always following him around and trying to get his attention. Always on the defensive, because they do give him a hard time (assholes). He's young, he's short, he's… weird (as if they're all so normal!) And Carmy's Richie is not this middle aged divorced man with nowhere to go. He's someone that became part of his family because Mikey of all people loved him so much. He was his best friend, his right hand man at the restaurant, always part of his stories. I believe when Carmy said "I always thought my brother was my best friend, except everybody thought he was their best friend" he was thinking of Richie specifically. How could he not be hurt by that? Richie had what Carmy wanted, and he could have simply hated him, but he saw his good qualities, the ones he was lacking ("he believes in you, he said you're good with people") He never rejected Richie the way he did Pete, for example. And it's different but it's the same because Pete's an outsider who became part of the family through (Natalie's) love, but they don't like him (which I think it's super unfair btw).

And what I didn't realize at first was that Carmy was also looking for Richie's approval, not just Mikey's. That's why when Richie judges him and calls him Donna in the finale it hurts him so much, not because how dares this loser lecture him, but because his opinion matters. He screams about how Richie is nothing without him and how much Richie needs him as a defense mechanism, because he's so afraid of not being needed by the people he loves and he needs Richie too (of course it makes him furious when Richie says it). Even in the first episode he's like "how fucking dope is that, cousin?" like did you see what I did? did you see how I brought all these clients to the restaurant? He insults him, but he listens to him, asks for his help, cares what he thinks. Meanwhile Richie scofs at Carmy's achievements, partly because they make him feel less than, and partly because this is Carmy, so how impressive can this really be? Just some pretentious shit he learned from people as pretentious and weird as him. Until "forks". Until he finds purpose in a place where Carmy is so respected that there's a picture of him framed. And later Richie tells him "I get it" and I thought 'how nice he finally understands what Carmy is trying to do and how they want the same thing now' but it's so much more than that. He finally gets the importance of what Carmy has done, how difficult it was, how amazing he is. For the first time he saw Carmy from the outside, not like the kid he knew but like we the audience see him, and understood. Maybe that helped with his self-esteem also, because having Carmy as his boss doesn't mean he's a loser, it means he works with the best.

Anyway, I hope at some point we get to see Richie defending Carmy when he hears someone talk shit about him, or just talk proudly about him to someone, maybe even to Tiff, to show his growth.

And I know Richie said "you're all I've got" and Carmy said nothing back and I felt so bad for Richie, but Carmy's just not used to that, he doesn't know how to react, because that is -was- not how they talk to each other. But he's trying so hard to not be shitty and to be there for the others while his mind is screaming at him that he's a failure and needs to give up joy if he wants to feel like he has value, because his self worth is so tied to his job that he'd choose it over love... Idk I think it's very important not only that Richie loves him, but that he values and respects him, because these are two very different things and Carmy isn't used to getting that from him. Mikey never told Carmy "good job" like he wanted so badly to hear, but Richie could.

[thetavolution]

Modern Day AU

I spent a moment to think what everyone would be up to in a modern day AU.

Astarion: He was pre-law when he got caught up with Cazador. It's less a vampire spawn situation and a more straightforward abuse situation. I think in the AU he was also much younger when Cazador found him. Once he breaks free of Cazador, he might go back into law. He'd end up in therapy and he'd probably have to take a step back to re-evaluate what he wants in life.

Gale: Of course he's a professor. With magic off the table in this particular AU, he'd probably teach as many subjects as they'd let him. Students would constantly have deja vu seeing him in so many classes. He'd be teaching somewhere like Cambridge or Oxford. The subjects that came to mind were English, History of Art, Linguistics, Philosophy, and for reasons I can't explain, German.

Shadowheart: Her ass would be in a cult. She was kidnapped into some kind of Gloriavale situation as a kid. She'd eventually get a taste of freedom and leave the cult for good, especially if a Tav comes her way. Then she'd write a tell-all book and do a lot of Ted Talks about it. As she got older, she'd become more reclusive. She'd write books from her little countryside house full of animals.

Halsin: Halsin would still be a tree-hugging hippy. He'd have an environmentalism related job, like wind turbine technician, environmental technician, or solar installer. (I imagine he'd want something very hands on.) He'd 100% be part of a nudist colony. He'd still be poly, and he'd be very choosey about who he lets into the polycule.

Lae'zel: She'd go to university where she'd be expanding her world. It would force her to unpack her unhealthy home life is. She was probably raised in a jingoistic family. After discovering the power of friendship and self-discovery, she'd make better choices for herself. She'd still be INCREDIBLY disciplined so I imagine she'd be an athlete. Either she'd do professional rugby or MMA. She might do pro wrestling. She wouldn't join the theatrics on purpose. They'd just tap into her natural persona for her character.

Karlach: She worked for Gortash before he made a name for himself in politics. I'm still trying to work out exactly what would happen to her. I imagine he framed her in this universe and she spent 10 years in prison instead of Avernus. Now she's out and wants revenge... but also would love to get her life back. Possibly she has a chronic illness that, if untreated, could kill her. It's not a 1-to-1 for her heart situation, but close.

Jaheira: She refuses to ever retire from her work. She's been a part of almost every humanitarian world org that'll have her, like The Peace Corps. She now runs her own organization that travels the world for humanitarian efforts. She's a widow and she's still the mother to several adopted children.

Wyll: He was on track to make his father proud. He was going to Oxford to study politics until he realized how much he hated it. His father is the mayor of a major city. I'm hesitant to say London because it feels too obvious. Instead, Wyll drops out to pursue humanitarian work. This is where his path crosses with Jaheira as he joins her organization. His father just doesn't get it and they're at odds over it.

Minthara: Military brat who grew up to join the British Military. In her off time, she's in the BDSM scene.

Orin: She is either running a true crime podcast or being talked about on one. Either that or she's a CEO of a drug company a la The Fall of the House of Usher (2023).

Gortash: This dude is running as a Tory and you know it. He left a huge trail of problematic behavior on his Twitter. He made an anonymous Reddit account to post relationship problems on, but everyone figured out it was him almost immediately.

Barcus: This poor man is so tired. He never found his "dream" and he's been going from job to job for decades. After he starts to stand up for himself, he opens an online store based on all his interests and thrives.

I might do more later, but this is all I could think of for now.

[vividstardustrevolution]

Haruka Sakurai - Eyes Analysis in MILGRAM

Alright, so let's start with Haruka and his two MVs - Weakness and All Knowing and All Agony.

Starting with Weakness, we see that the victim's face and the mom's face (and therefore their eyes) are blocked out. We can see the victim's expression, but not the mom's. This could be for a few reasons, but I don't think it's dehumanization here, because Haruka, as we all know, adores his mom, and he looks happy with the victim in the left picture.

A lot of people theorize that Haruka is autistic, and these scenes with the eyes plus the faces getting blocked out plus Haruka struggling with eye contact in Trial 1 is one of the many reasons why - autistic people can have a hard time making eye contact and reading people's facial expressions and such. As an autistic person myself, I can speak to my own experience that I personally find eye contact very uncomfortable, and I don't always look at other people's faces when I'm talking to them.

These eyes that keep showing up are symbolism for something. This is just my take on things, but I think these eyes represent both what Haruka wants (for someone to see him, for someone to notice him) and the negative looks and responses he's been getting from being himself and acting in a certain way.

Part of the reason why the faces are blocked out in those scenes with the mom and the girl might be because Haruka can't look these people in the eyes, can't look at their faces, can't read their expressions, but let's dig a little deeper, shall we? Because they're not the only ones who are eyeless in this MV.

Take a look at this scene near the end of Weakness. Haruka doesn't have eyes here, but he's the focus of this MV! What's going on?

Well, as I'll bring up in later posts, like Kotoko's and Mikoto's, there are some MVs where the prisoner involved doesn't have eyes in some scenes. In this scene, neither Haruka has eyes, and my take on why the eyes are gone is that Haruka's kinda unconsciously dehumanizing himself and his victim here. The little Haruka represents not only his younger self that his mom loved, but also the "right version" of him that he's implied exists in both in the lyrics of Weakness ("the right future unfairly chose the wrong me") and in one of his interrogation questions (he said "Everything. Every single thing is wrong." as an answer to one of the trial 2 interrogation questions - "What's the difference between you and someone else?" - according to this translation). We also know now that AKAA has come out that younger Haruka in this scene also represents Haruka's victim - the braid girl. He believes that he's worthless and not worth paying attention to until Muu comes along, and he tries to dehumanize and push down his victim in the same way, but in the end, he can't fully do that. He still sees himself as less than her. Why do I say that? Well, considering that even when he's been told he's in the right, he still thinks "[every] single thing is wrong" about him, some bits from the second trial VD that I only vaguely remember, and considering the lyrics of Weakness and AKAA go deep into self hatred and believing he's "a disappointment," "why was I born like this," "hopeless," and so on, I really don't think he thinks he's any better than his victim.

We sure do see a lot of eye close ups for Haruka, huh? He seems sad or distressed or depressed in a lot of them. There's not much light there, either, but there's enough to where he doesn't look like he's in despair. He's holding onto a little bit of hope that maybe things will be alright again.

Before we move on to AKAA, I just want to analyze one last frame.

Haruka looks angry in this one, and it's the only one where you can see his eyes when he looks angry. In fact, it's right before the scene where Haruka's eyes are missing. It's interesting because he's upside down here, his full expression is angry, not just his eyes, and he's looking at his younger self (who is his younger self, his idealized self, and his victim). He said in this interrogation question that he was envious of his victim, so what do we get from that plus this? Haruka seems to have lashed out at his victim for being what he wanted to be so desperately - the golden child who was loved.

Now, onto All Knowing and All Agony!

Haruka shows a lot of emotions with just his eyes (although his expressions help). For example, here he's looking up at us, curious, and then...

In these shots, we see Haruka being determined to do something. Eye close ups are gonna be a bit of a thing in this MV too.

There seems to be more light in Haruka's eyes in this MV. He has a purpose; he's not loosely sinking into water anymore. This comes through in the lyrics too - "Don't leave me" "I will make you love me again" "I will keep on killing to be a good boy" "I want to be your favorite next." I think this is partly because of the innocent verdict, and he's speaking to Es/us in some of these lines.

This is one of the only shots in AKAA where Haruka's eyes are blocked out, actually. He's dehumanizing himself less (even though he's not portrayed as just a normal person in AKAA; he's portrayed as animalistic, which bothers me, but that's a personal gripe), and it's possibly because of the innocent verdict. After all, we told him he was innocent and forgivable, so he probably took that to mean that he's not totally worthless and less than human, because...yeah, Haruka seems to struggle with that a bit.

One interesting thing that shifts from Weakness to All Knowing and All Agony (that also shifts between half and Cat, but that's for another post) is that someone who didn't have eyes in the first MV now has eyes - Haruka's mom.

She is clearly horrified and afraid in these shots, but Haruka doesn't seem to take her actions and reactions that way, judging by his expressions after she slaps him.

"She slapped me" turns into "she finally noticed me and acknowledged my existence" turns into "she loves/cares about me." Someone should really sit Haruka down and explain to him how affection is actually supposed to work, because it's not like that. But it is interesting how Haruka's eyes shift from having no light in them to being filled with tearful joy. I just want to give him a hug.

I really, *really* want to analyze this shot. They're trying to make little Haruka look like a monster here with the viewpoint and the way his mom looks scared, but if you look closely, little Haruka is (1) happy to be noticed and (2) just wants a hug. He is a child who wants love, but he's being portrayed as wild and scary here. So why would the animators go for this point of view, rather than a different, more balanced point of view? I'll leave that to y'all to determine.

I...think that's about it for my Haruka eye analysis? (Although some of it was more just me pointing things out, but whatever.) I hope y'all liked it! Next up will be either Kotoko's or Kazui's, whichever one I feel like doing first.

Thank you for reading!

[twosides--samecoin]

Hi!! Happy weekend! I’d love to hear about some of your ocs headcanons 🍬🌻💩 :]

Here's Jack and Olivia, 2/3 of Long Time Running's main cast - with a bonus heacanon unique to my Dogmeat! You can read the fic -> here <-

Jack Ward is my canon M!SoSu. He was a professional boxer and retired when he was conscripted for the Anchorage campaign and sent to FoB Juneau.

When Med-Tek failed, Jack pushed RJ on a vertibird destined for Vault 150 - a remote Canadian Vault that tested Duncan's illness on its residents. Two weeks later, Olivia Dallaire, my OC F!SoSu, stepped out of a vertibird and onto the hill overlooking Sanctuary and Boston. She'd be an Olympic judoka if there was still Olympics.

🍬On the topic of family: One of the themes in my fic is about the intersection and contrast between found family and adoption as well as miscommunication. Jack sees a younger version of himself in Olivia, but in a subversion of the failed-coach-training-his-actually-promising-protege trope, Jack had the title fight successes and Olivia really never will. All the same, he takes a shine to her. After meeting Father at the Institute, Jack let go of the idea of recovering his family. When he met Olivia, he felt like, "My god, this is the child Nora and I were supposed to have". Problem is, she's uh, a grown-ass 23 year-old woman. Who just immigrated to a different country and has her own trauma to unpack. And the sudden reemergence of his want to be a dad is moving faster than his ability to discuss being family with her. He faces serious role strain between his best friendship with RJ and the fatherhood he feels toward Olivia when he sees RJ differently as he begins to feel protective over her.

💩 Something ridiculous: My Dogmeat can break the fourth wall. The characters cannot hear him in the fic, but the reader can read his thoughts. One of my childhood fave movies is All Dogs Go To Heaven. The main dog is a German Shepherd, voiced by Burt Reynolds. This is how I hear him.

I was born in '94, so those 80's-90's "talking animal" genre movies were really formative for me. Anastasia, An American Tail - themes of lost family, adventure, immigration. Even RJ's story has strong Secrets of NIMH parallels. I'd reached a point where my fic felt self-serious, like it was so grounded in harsh reality and dumpster fire mental health that I forgot to have fun. Saluting Don Bluth by imagining Charlie B. Barkin and Anne-Marie the Orphan as Dogmeat and Olivia was me throwing my hands up and saying, "Fine! Fuck it! We can have fun!"

🌼 Happiness, how'd you get to be happiness: Lately, getting to know each other has been a source of happiness for both Jack and Olivia. Jack as the canon SoSu has all the problems we do when we play the game - wrangling several warring factions that all expect his presence; ignoring Father/the Institute; managing a small empire of settlements. Olivia as the SoSu of her own Vault is navigating immigration and being around people again. The heart-meltingest fluff I have published so far is father-daughter moments. Excerpt below the cut!

Long Time Running Chapter 13: Sabré Olvidar:

Jack glanced at Olivia’s marigold cable-knit sweater and jeans, rolled up at the cuffs. He realized most of her clothing from home that wasn’t her Vault suit was oversized and patched several times over. 

A deep flush of sadness erupted within. He coughed and returned to the topic of conversation. “Well, um.. What.. What do you think of the animals you let go?” 

“I just thank them for giving me a pretty view. I mean, just look at them.” She let go of their hug and stepped back. “If you look at it like this, the window makes them look like a painting.” 

She beamed at the radstag pair - four heads and too many legs. 

Jack obliged the request and stepped back. The window framed the radstags, trees and tall grasses well, like a living photograph. He appreciated the scene with the same intensity as a painting in a museum.  

He broke his gaze away and looked around at the cabin. “Well.. What brings us down here today, anyway?” he asked.

“I was thinking,” she turned away from the radstags. “Um, there wasn’t anyone here last time I visited, and there’s no one here now, and.. Y’know, it’s pretty close to town.. Does anyone own this place?” 

“Truth be told, Miss Olivia,” he replied. “I don’t think anyone’s taken interest in this cabin since the bombs fell. Doesn’t seem to me like anyone owns it.” 

She wrung her hands and shifted her weight as she looked around. “Um.. can I..” 

Jack awaited the question with patience and a smile. “Yes?”

“Can I have it? Please?” she pleaded.

His heart melted anew. Oh, Jesus, not that face, not that face. He decided to mess with her and put on an apprehensive tone. “I dunno.. It’s a big responsibility, being a homeowner..”

She hung on his every word with wide-eyed worry. 

“The cost for materials, the labor.. In this economy, too.. Ouch.” He grimaced, both to ham up the theatrics and to force his mouth away from a smile.

“I-I’ll work, I’ll get a job, I promise-” 

He could no longer keep up the act. “Oh, fine, sure. It’s yours!” 

Olivia gasped and threw her arms around Jack’s torso. Coffee spilled out of her mug with a graceful dive and landed on the floor with an audible splash.

“Thank you thank you thank you thank you- Oh, I have so much work to do-” she let go of Jack and listed the repairs. “I need a door and I have to clean the fireplace and I need to find new windows and-” 

Jack beamed as she bounced around the room. Her braid whipped through the air as she tallied up her needs. Getting to know his little bundle of contradictions was fun. 

“-nails and lumber and.. And that spot on the porch that’s sagging.. I have a lot to do if I want this ready for winter.” 

“Alright, then, that settles it,” he said. “Let’s get a move on.” 

“Where to?” she asked.

“Well, like you said, winter’s on the way. Let’s get building.” 

She smiled, somehow wider than her smile already was. “Yeah! Let’s do it!”

She ran out the door and jumped off the stairs instead of walking down. “Where can we go shopping for supplies?” she asked, turning back to him.

Jack followed and took the steps as normal. “We’ll see what we have in Sanctuary before we look elsewhere. I’ll have to get you a workbench down here.” 

Olivia hopped and skipped ahead. “My own workbench, I-” 

She wasn’t watching her step and nearly tripped. 

«Tabarnak!» she swore. Olivia threw her hands up in mock-offense. “Who put this root here, eh?” 

She laughed off the transgression, tucked the stem of the hubflower behind her ear and turned her pirate smile toward Sanctuary.

Jack Ward, ol’ 111 himself, was thoroughly charmed. Miss Olivia Dallaire contained multitudes. 

Sweet, funny, capable, sensitive. A reader, a fighter, an animal-lover and an occasional jokester who stopped to smell the roses.  

He remembered the leadup to Arturo’s last title fight, when he lived at the house with Jack and Nora. 

One night in the later stages of her pregnancy, Nora laid on the couch as Arturo and Jack sat on the floor surrounded by the pieces of a yet-to-be constructed crib.

Arturo lectured their unborn child on the syntax, phonetics and style guide of French Canadian cursing.

«Esti de câlice de tabarnak!» Arturo exclaimed. "That is what we say when the baby crib is hard to build! You better like it!"

Jack wiped a tear from his cheek as he followed Olivia to Sanctuary.

Arturo would have been so proud to be your uncle. So proud.

[digitaldavis]

Rough thoughts on the movie in no particular order now that I have a moment:

Going in with the heavy hitters 'cause I can't stop thinking about it but Lui's claims that he is the first person to ever partner with a Digimon are unsubstantiated and lack hard evidence - also, unless it was explained in Kizuna and Tri, I'm pretty sure Digimon Adventure contradicts this?? (I'll check into this when I have more time, don't @ me).

The implication that Ukkomon made all of the Digimon hostile towards one another so that the Digi-Destined would fight to defend themselves and therefore Lui is nonsense and even if there is nothing to directly contradict it in Adventure and 02, I'm gonna hard pass on that canon because it lends itself too much to the idea that all Digimon would just be wholesome and good if not for Ukkomon making them fight and that feels like it excuses the things that Devimon, Piedmon, MaloMyotismon, and the other villain Digimon did or removes their free will?

Also, have I mentioned what Lui said didn't make sense???? Lui might be closer to Tai's age so it's feasible he could have become digi-destined around the same time as Tai but DUDE, Owikawa and Cody's dad discovered the Digital World and Digimon when they were kids????? AND THAT WAS AGES BEFORE LUI WAS BORN. It just doesn't make sense unless this is some alternate universe where that didn't happen or Lui is a time traveler or something (which is possible they did time travel...)

Speaking of, I'm so interested in the implication that Lui went back in time and talked to his mom about his younger self and she seemed to snap out of it for a second, like, if that was a permanent change do you think he created another alternate reality in that instance?

Moving on though, Davis. DAVIS. Seeing him in the film cured my depression. His reaction to Lui's mom was so so so Davis and I felt so strongly about it and then Ken's immediate "we can't we could ruin our own future" response is exactly how I've always imagined a time-travel AU would go between them.

ALSO: DAVIS AND KEN. The flirting. Ken just straight up grabbing both of Davis hands. (He's so COMFORTABLE WITH HIMSELF NOW) Ken throwing himself off Paildramon after Davis. I'm LIVING. The little high five they did to congratulate themselves. Ken's remark that summoning Paildramon was a little much seconds after I was like "wow that's so gay and unnecessary". Both of them were just so on point in this film. Davis was upbeat and optimistic and just believes the best in people/digimon so hard and when his tendency to charge in got in the way Ken was there to mellow him out so he didn't do anything rash.

Yolei did feel kind of off for some reason in the film but that might have been because I was so excited for the film that I couldn't pay attention to everything that was happening. I was only able to see it once and I missed so many things I know it. I can't wait for it to be released physically so I can own it and just rewatch it a dozen times.

Speaking of Yolei, though, I cannot believe the film framed her like Uhura trying to come between Kirk and Spock (which is comically absurd btw). In nearly ever scene possible it's Davis, Yolei but slightly offset and then Ken beside Davis. Like the animators are desperate to push the Kenyako narrative, like, clearly they know about the Daiken feelings being very strong with fans but they were trying to visually remind us painfully hard that, hey, actually the pairing is Kenyako. But buddy did that feel forced and it's probably why Yolei felt off to me.

J U S T I C E F O R C O D Y. That's all.

THEY COULD HAVE LET ROBBIE DAYMOND DO A TERRIBLE TEXAN ACCENT!!! THEY SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST TRIED!!!!

Kari actually didn't have very many major lines in the film I felt like but I loved the little scenes of her at the beginning, actually, though, she was kind of just there next to T.K. the entire time because the film also framed them together so hard it's SO WEIRD THEY AREN'T CANON.

T.K. though. God he was just so T.K. in this film. The trauma of losing Patamon in Adventure and then whatever happened in Tri like. It was just the most T.K. thing to do and say when they were talking about what they had to do. But also, I loved whenever the cops showed up and Davis goes "WHAT, HOW DID THEY FIND US?" and T.K. was like "ARE YOU KIDDING!???? YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND SUMMONED A GIANT FLYING MONSTER!!!!"

Honestly, this movie was everything I ever wanted really. About three minutes before we went into the movie I was talking about ghost game with my friend and how I wished it hadn't been for kids because it had such great and frankly horrifying concepts and everything was just sunshine and rainbows for children and nothing bad ever really happened which was disappointing.

And then I watched The Beginning. This movie felt so much like coming home from the start because I felt like I knew these character's so well (I lost count of how many times I sat in the theater and said a thing, only to have one of the character's also say the thing a second later), and everything was so bright and nice and then it became an eldritch horror show.

Let me tell you, when I watched the trailer for the first time I said to my friend "dude what was with that trailer??? The music????? Why is it so sinister???" and, despite that, I still did not see the horror coming and neither did anyone else in the theater. Everyone and I do mean everyone went very still and quiet and tense the second the first hint of bad began. We were all so unprepared and it was very upsetting.

As I was leaving the theater, I heard a woman fighting with her husband over having brought their very little daughter to see the movie. The mom clearly thought it was a fun kids movie because it was animated and whoever is in charge of American films absolutely thinks all animated movies are for kids so it wasn't rated which is how the film industry always handles anime films.

They seem completely incapable of understanding that animation doesn't equal child friendly. Watching it, though, it's never been more clear that a Digimon movie was for older audiences than watching The Beginning. Like, this film was not for kids. This film was for us. The setting. The themes. The fact that 79% of the entire movie is exposition/dialogue...

When the little girl's dad asked her if she liked the film as it ended, he sounded strained and his wife was complaining that the film was going to give her nightmares and while his daughter said yes, she liked the film it was in a way that you could tell that no, she didn't really because she had no idea what was going on - it was bright and colorful and there were cute characters sometimes so that was probably fine but she couldn't have been older than six so it was probably very boring for her.

That is one of my few complaints about the film, actually. It was nearly all talking and exposition. I wish there had been more action. I wish it had been a little more light hearted and goofy at times. The eldritch horror/really messed up part of the movie felt like it went on forever but that might have just been my lack of prepardness for it. I was just so shocked even while my brain was like "yes, this is what we always wanted I AM LIVING" - also because I imagined that kind of awful, dark underbelly of the world of Digimon existing for the character's I already know and love.

Nothing is going to stop me from headcanoning that Davis reaction to Lui's mom being The Worst was so immediate and visceral because he's dealing with his own trauma from his mom's refusal to accept that he's trans, okay?

I didn't care a great deal for Lui and Ukkomon obviously disturbed me to no end - I know it wasn't Ukkomon's fault, they didn't know better but also it's fair to say that I was scarred for life about Lui's parents and the baseball bat scene and I would probably like Lui a lot more if his story weren't all conjecture and exposition. Also he was so negative (understandably) and was such a downer the entire film, honestly, thank god Davis and his endless queer energy was there to breakthrough to Lui and help him see the light of queerness friendship.

Anyway, did I mention Lui's claim that he's the first ever human to partner with a digimon doesn't make sense to me? I've thought about it a little more and, fine, maybe it's possible that Lui could be the first person to partner with a Digimon but the idea that everyone else became Digi-Destined because of him and Ukkomon still doesn't sit right. Oikawa didn't get a digimon until he was an adult and died and so even though he knew about Digi-World he technically didn't become Digi-Destined and the Digital World could have existed for ages before anyone partnered with a Digimon. Those things aren't mutually exclusive, I have to remind myself, but it just doesn't feel right to me and their claims being baseless seems more legit.

Okay, I'm done, that's it for my rough thoughts on the movie, I think. They probably won't get any clearer. I'm gonna use the film to further my Trans!Davis/Daiken headcanons for sure though.

One last thing though and it's that my friend said he hated Lui because Lui took away from the 02 kids and I had to remind him that Willis exists in Hurricane Touchdown and the majority of that film is Willis and Davis talking/fighting and the other kids just existing. It's not some wild new Digimon format to have a new Digi-Destined to center the plot around.

And speaking of the plot, a final thought is on the bit where their Digivices weren't relevant anymore. That isn't off-brand either actually. I don't like that they disappeared because I have an emotional attachment to them but I understand that the narrative was not needing to prove their bonds with their Digimon and therefore anyone can have strong bonds of real friendship with or without a Digivice aka being Digi-Destined - it also makes sense with the whole "we didn't need the tags and crests to Digivolve our Digimon because our real strength comes from within" narrative that the OG Digimon Adventure established. The Digivices and tags/crests were just tools to remind them of their bonds with one another.

Anyway, that's it. I'm shutting up. This post got so long I'm sorry but also if anyone wants to share their thoughts on the movie or my bad takes but in a fun way that's cool feel free. I'm always here to talk about Digimon and how this is gonna influence all my future headcanons things but seriously don't @ me out of malice. K THX

[stuffgoeswrong]

Hibike Euphonium season 3 episode 7

Broooo!!

Brilliant. This is easily my favorite episode so far. I love that Reina, Kumiko, and Shuuichi communicate in one shared notebook, first of all. It's so sweet and funny. Other things just, are making me emotional. Mamiko making up with her dad and just giving a gift to him that he enjoyed after the season 2 drama? Yay! And Kumiko and Hazuki going to the college event together really felt like this chapter in their lives is ending. I'm so proud they're growing up even though Kumiko still hasn't decided what she'll do (but we know where it's going at this point). Their conversation afterward was funny too. Plus! Natsuki and Yuuko visiting with snacks and just talking about how the year is going is so very realistic.

The thing that took me by surprise was Mayu Kuroe this episode. Something's clearly been off or hinted at with her even though she's so nice and respectable. I've been worried where it's going, but now we've seen she's very similar to middle school Kumiko, yet she's in Kumiko's same grade. It's haunting and unnerving for Kumiko to see what she used to be like: without passion and kind of without opinions. Mayu has such a ways to mature and grow from where she's at. She just wants to please everyone, which isn't a bad thing, but can be dangerous if she has no moral code. She seems to think less of herself than everyone around her because "no one would ever love someone who isn't" opinionated or whatever. She likes being around those people but doesn't think she's like them herself.

And they frame all this through Mayu's photography! Where you don't see the person taking the picture and often don't even think about them. We look at her pictures through her eyes, but lack the seeing through her heart. She likes taking pictures, but she's never in them. She doesn't have a reason she likes it, not that we can tell, but she'll need that if she's going to make a profession out of it. She's like a ghost or a shell right now even though she thinks highly of her musicianship and does have some preferences, she says. To hammer the point home, she asks what drink Tsubame likes most so she can just have that instead of guessing what she wants. I think I got chills, what a way to end that heavy scene.

But Kumiko, caring band President, invites her into a picture for once. Later, Mayu says it didn't develop properly when she's sharing photos with the group. Foreshadowing? Going forward, she might resist Kumiko's efforts to help her with whatever she might need. Kumiko's biggest challenge is again helping her younger self.

So yeah. I just needed a moment to analyze this episode cause it did something to me. A lot happened and a lot was done very well.

[sheryl-lee]

could you touch more on the nat antler queen clues pls? agree with your take so much on the finale and season so much!

sure! there's a lot of foreshadowing via cool hints/suggestive and vague lines/editing choices in the pilot that i've noticed so i'll talk about those primarily, but there are a fair amount scattered throughout the show as well (i'm planning on doing a rewatch soon so i may even edit this ask if i find any additional nods. and of course, if you notice anything that i've missed please let me know <3)

spoilers for yellowjackets under the cut:

the one shot in the pilot that's super striking and totally hits different for me after the s2 finale also happens to be the very FIRST scene we get of natalie as a character (discounting the brief flash of her younger self in the opening soccer game scene); it's during the present day timeline when she's still in rehab:

she's sitting cross-legged, meditating, surrounded by water and trees (aka wildnerness imagery). the framing and symbolism of this scene is completely altered once we know that nat is the antler queen in the 96 timeline (it also explains much of adult nat's behavior in 2x06-2x08, where she's leaned into the culty wilderness mentality. she's done this before, out of survival or some other dark impulse within her, and she's spent years clinging to another addiction - drugs and alcohol - and filled with guilt and remorse for feeling responsible for so much of what happened out there.)

oh and what color is adult natalie wearing in this scene? purple!

this scene cuts back and forth between pit girl getting bled out by who we presume to be shauna, while misty watches, in the 96 timeline:

much of the pilot follows this same pattern; every adult and young nat scene is followed by the pit girl scenes, and our very first glimpse of antler queen in the series - seemingly hinting that natalie is the one who will take on the leadership role in the past.

jumping back to the rehab scenes, at one point adult natalie says

"after they rescued us, i lost my purpose". this also has a totally different (and darker!) meaning once we know what we know by the end of season 2. similarly, there's a scene later in season 1 when adult taissa says to shauna that they "wouldn't even be here if it weren't for natalie". i (and many other viewers) initially took that to mean that natalie had a hand in getting the team rescued or helping them "wake up" from the cannibalistic wilderness cult behavior, but it actually means the opposite - nat surviving, allowing javi to die in the process, and becoming antler queen saved the group because it kept them alive (and continued to, up until when they were eventually rescued)

later on in the pilot, there's the scene of young natalie tripping and seemingly having a vision of misty watching her at the party (which we now know was ominously foreshadowing that 25 years later, misty would be the person to inadvertently kill her):

the scene immediately flashes back to the pit girl sequence, wherein the remaining survivors chow down on the human meat, and we get our very first antler queen appearance in the series:

the framing of young natalie sitting by a bonfire and antler queen in the center of a fire is yet another subtle indication that the two characters are one and the same.

not long after, we get another adult nat scene:

she says "i think it'll be good to reconnect with some old friends" and then we instantly jump back to the pit girl cannibalism scene, which now shows us what happened right before. misty serves the meat and we see antler queen again:

we then go back to the present day and see adult misty for the first time. she leaves the hospital and nat is shown watching her:

we cut back to the 96 timeline once more, where we see antler queen framed right behind misty:

so, knowing what we know now, the show's editing in the pilot episode and the particular focus on nat and misty serve to subtly hint to the audience that not only is nat antler queen, but misty is the person who winds up killing her, decades later in the present day timeline. it's a self fulfilling prophecy, a deal with the devil, an unpaid debt on nat's part (it chooses, you were always its favorite, it's not evil just hungry, we've been here for years), trauma that has frozen her in time and simultaneously paved the way for her life to end tragically because it (be it the wilderness, be it her metaphorical demons, be it her inner darkness) was not finished with her.

the signs were there all along that natalie was the symbol of this darkness within herself and the other girls - it was just a matter of paying attention and reminding yourself that none of these girls are innocent, nor were they incapable of violence even prior to the plane crash. the show's writing and characterization of natalie in both timelines is so rich and compelling that it was easy to overlook any and all signs that she was more sinister than we believed. but the reveal clearly showcases what the girls are capable of, and that while natalie may be faking her beliefs in the wilderness, she has become a personification of that symbology to the other girls (most notably misty) and does horrible things in the name of survival.

there are many other hints throughout the show but i might have to make a separate post because this got so long! but yeah, that's everything that i found and thought was really intriguing in the pilot alone. i can't wait to rewatch and re-examine the elements of the series now that this season has concluded!

[witchofthemidlands]

Thanks to a ✨depression haze✨ taking its sweet time to vamoosh from my mind i am only now able to form words about the Doctor Who trailer.

Fifteen has been in the grand total of the last quarter of The Giggle, The Church On Ruby Road & (2) trailers & he’s my second favourite Doctor of all time. I. Love. This. Version. Abolish UNIT's flooring king & leave the bill for your younger self <3 Every time I think of Fifteen, I think back to 2021 where me & my housemate were standing in the kitchen saying based on our mutual love for Eric Effiong that Ncuti Gatwa would be a good Doctor Who.

THE MUSIC 🎵 CHANGES🎵 honestly I went feral as soon as it started playing. For YEARS I have associated different Bowie songs with Twelve, Bill Potts & Danny Pink so I was screeching like a person deranged.

Will say though considering The Goblin Song, the musical notes around Ruby & the trip to The Beatles I wonder if music will play a core theme in this season? Little things like words on posters & names said aloud throughout the first RTD era turned out to be vital elements so I’m wondering if we’ll get something similar like that again.

VERY happy to see Cherry & Carla back. I always thought they would be seeing as RTD clearly loves his companions to have families & love that he’s returned to writing about & showing the importance of found/adoptive families like he did for The Sarah Jane Adventures 😊 did not get great vibes from the “I’m still her mum, I need to know she’ll be ok.” Line & the promise but again it’s RTD’s writing, he made it seem like Rose & Donna would be dead within their respective seasons & both of them are thriving with their respective versions of the Doctor.

THE SHOT OF HOLOGRAM!TEN/METATEN/FOURTEEN/FOURTENTH?!? love them, love him LOVE THEM but I hope it's just an image or someone flickering through & showing Fifteen pictures of his past selves like they’ve done in The Eleventh Hour, Nightmare In Silver, Twice Upon A Time, The Timeless Children etc & not a “Fifteen & Fourteen work on a UNIT mission together via holograms.” To me at least, it seems a little too soon to do another multi Doctor story especially when it’s only Fifteen’s first season.

THE CALLBACK TO MARTHA JONES & BILL POTTS WORRYING ABOUT STEPPING ON THE BUTTERFLY 😂🤩😂 me & my mum laughed so hard at this but at the same time, it’s adding to my theory that “doing the salt” at the edge of the universe IS responsible for myths/legends/theories actually happening in the Whoniverse now like the salt, the bi-regeneration, The Goblin King because in the song there’s a line that gave me this theory the “he’s not a myth, he’s an actual thing.” This will definitely be me reading too much into it but that’s just the conclusion I’ve come to.

I saw Indira Varma in (1) frame 😳 I had IMMEDIATE ✨gay thoughts✨ she is so beautiful 😍 BUT she started turning into a creature & I am not & never shall be a monsterfucker (even though admittedly the carrionites had me questioning things) but it will be a TEST OF STRENGTH.

There was what looked to be a flesh bowl & I immediately thought of The Gangers & seeing as Moffat’s emerging perhaps they’re making their return. After what happened with Bill Potts, Danny Pink & certain favourite characters of mine from my second favourite book in the entire world back in 2020 I am on the ✨fence✨ about The Return Of Moffat but he is ultimately incredible at writing a good horror story so if he does another one episode horror that’ll traumatise me for life & after, fair enough.

The alienvenom being in the corridor near made me yeet behind my sofa so I’m looking forward to seeing that story.

I’ve seen horror films I’ve gone through an ACTUAL HAUNTING & still nothing prepared me from how i nearly expired when i realised that THERE'S SOMETHING STANDING IN THE BACKGROUND IN TWO RUBY SCENES 😨

I’m gonna talk about ✨the scream✨ @ the Ruby of it all in another couple of posts.

Saw the Tardis console sparking: immediately wondered if there was any left over coffee in there 😅

I AM GOING TO LOSE IT WHEN I SEE ROSE NOBLE AGAIN 🥹 MY BEST GIRL IS COMING BACK 🥹 Lovely to see Mel! Hope this means more Classic Who companions will return at some stage (for the sake of how funny it would be unleash a NewNewWho Doctor on Jamie McCrimmon whilst the actor is still alive & willing to be part of the Whoniverse)

Fifteen saluting in his regency outfit (In the realm of fanfic in my head I am imagining Captain Jack Harkness being on the receiving end of that salute) but maybe it’ll be Jonathan Groffs new character? Whoever they are I hope him & The Doctor have enough gay activity between them that’ll make my family members who don’t like Fifteen when they “come across as gay” uncomfortable <3

The weathered Tardis near the sea reminds me of The Ghost Monument. I hope they make a figure/pop of the weathered Tardis, I need it for my collection 😅 I hope we get a The Ghost Monument mention just to annoy my family who still actively talk about how much they disliked 13’s era.

I am going to go a new level of feral in May, Fifteen ily so much 🥹

[denimbex1986]

'A few days after the marriage equality bill was passed, Andrew Haigh's 'All of Us Strangers' started making its rounds again on social media, since it arrived (just in time, one would say) in Greek theatres. The film, which was one of the last screenings at the "Premiere Nights" held at the IDEAL cinema, is now also being screened at Cinobo Opera and belongs to the fantasy romance genre . Between us, there is so much more.

I won't lie. When I found out it was a fantasy romance, I had no idea that I would end up with tears in my eyes and so emotionally charged. Haigh's magical realism beautifully embraces the central theme and opens up a huge conversation about queer identity. As Christos Politis (aka Christos doesn't live here anymore) said on LIFO's 'The Review' podcast: “I wanted to see a queer film but luckily I didn't just see a queer film. If I had to put it somewhere, I would definitely put it very high on the lists of the best queer films ever made […] Combined, it blew me to pieces.”

Same Christos, same 🥲

When the broken fire alarm goes off, Adam (Andrew Scott) , a lonely screenwriter, descends on the entrance of the apartment building. Looking up at the other apartments, he sees only one has light: Harry's (Paul Mescal) . He shows up drunk at his door and jokingly says "should I come in?", to which Adam replies "no" (seriously, who would throw a package at Paul Mescal?!). From there begins a strange, sad and bittersweet journey of self-discovery and exploration.

Everyone's performances (well, 4 people were all) had something unreal: You could understand everything from their eyes! With the feeling of loneliness overwhelming every frame of the film, Andrew Scott was the personification of a tragic character; the viewer knows everything, but the protagonist discovers it along the way. On the other hand, Paul Mescal brought an air of melancholy as Harry, portraying a young man both full of love and sadness.

' All of Us Strangers ' explores queer sexuality, both from the protagonists' conversations and from a parent's perspective. First spoiler: ours turns out to be little delulu as he sees the ghosts of his parents when he visits the house where he grew up. Based on this, he begins to reminisce about his childhood with the help of his parents, in the style: "Do you remember when...". We've all experienced it with our own parents and we've all stopped them from saying it. This movie, however, made me want to listen to it again.

One of the many conversations he decides to have with his parents (Claire Foy and Jamie Bell) is that of coming out . Being almost 50, Adam has relatively recently discovered and embraced this side of himself. So when he decides to talk to his parents, he does it piecemeal: first to his mother and then to his father. Somewhat stereotypically (although the percentages also speak), mothers tend to accept their child's "difference" more easily than fathers. The punch that this film has in store for us, however, is the immediate acceptance of the father.

In an incredibly touching scene, Jamie Bell apologizes to his cinematic son for not protecting him from bullying at school, culminating in a hug. But in the reflection of the mirror behind them, we see the father embracing a younger version of the son - when he needed him most.

Adam's conversation with his mother is a great parallel to the conversation with older generations. We see her fearing the outcry, talking about illness and lonely life, expressing prejudices that have been cultivated in the way of thinking of many older people. In other words, a man can be lonely, as long as he is straight. In this case, it's typical. But if someone is homosexual, then this is the cause of his loneliness.

The discussion in question:

Adam: “Men can get married. And the women."

Mom: "What, between them?"

Oh yes"

M: "Why?"

A: "What do you mean why?"

M: “Isn't it like you want it all to yourself? Do you want to get married and have children?'

A: “I don't know. It wasn't possible for so many years that I thought it wasn't worth trying to get married and have children."

That sentence hurt 🥲

Overall, the whole movie is a trip down memory lane. With every flashback of Adam, I find myself in my father's house, with all the beautiful memories. It is still a heartbreaking story that belongs to the spectrum of the fantastic, but it makes you feel very familiar. Perhaps one of the best films of '24.

PS: And a fan fact: The house where the scenes with Adam and his parents were filmed is actually the real house where the director of the movie grew up!

Tissues, sweet and good viewing 🥲'

[theanoninyouraskblog]

Ok. Ok. I have so many thoughts I dont think they're going to fit into the tags so I'm just going to try and write them plaintext and hope that makes them a little more coherent.

Just from the beginning we have the frame tinted green. It's the color of the city, the color that accompanies Jerry, nominally Poppy's color, the color of hostility. But I think this is the first time we haven't seen it exhibeted from the higher powers- Jerry- the city- the fear of the people- it's coming from Teflon as he's cold- exacting. He doesn't want Poppy to get any ideas. Meanwhile Muskat and Tink are in the same room but they're set outside of the frame- tinted in the colors of saftey- of love- pinks and oranges and they look so tender, Kat brushing out Tink's hair, undoing Tink's braid so she doesn't have to resemble Poppy anymore. You've just beautifully divided these caracters- drawn the lines of this scene so subtly we can feel the distance between these two interactions happening in the same room- AUGH Every time it gets me.

And the way both Tef and Kat are showing their love- Kat reaching out with gentle direct affection- and Tef going straight for the heart of the problem. And HELL Tink's hairdoo!!!! Sheooks adorable with that wilde mane- but also I was looking at her trying to figure out what she reminds me of and then it hit me. KAT! She looks like the younger versions of Kat we see and oooohhhh that hit me right in the heart, on the warpath and everything. Gosh tink's face- resolute- furious- wild and kat's little smile off to the side. And the absolute devistation on Poppy's face- immediately she's fallen back on the dehumanizing language- the language Jerry uses to adress Tink- but the look on her face, it's not a matter of disrespect, not a lack of care, Poppy means it when she says creature.

"She's my blood" What a gut punch of a line. The duality of self deprication- of self awarness- Poppy knows exactly what she is. She knows exactly what she's done. She knows she's been a monster- I can only imagine she's wondering what she would have become if she had half the motive Tink does. Her vision of the future- of Tink in glorious tactical gear- with a flame thrower and Poppy beaten and disarrayed as everything around her goes up inflames. And suddenly you have to be in the mind of the last child Poppy technically had claim over. Jerry isn't Poppy's kid- not by blood no- but Jerry was a test tube baby in Poppy's lab- at the heart of Poppy's experiments. The last "daughter" Poppy had ruined her- took her revenge and Poppy's eye stripped her of her science and her class and her power- continues to taunt her. How can se expect anything else from Tink? It's aweful, its wretched, I will never stop thinking about it.

It's so interesting to see Kat and Tef's conflicting opinions on Poppy. Kat's endlessly gracious, endlessly forgiving, even though by all rights it was him who was personally dealt the greatest harm, but its Tef who remembers the horror of it, Tef who bore witness to the way Poppy betrayed them, the way she hurt them both, the way she hurt the man he loves. Muskat no idealist, he understands that the world they live in isn't kind, he knows it could be better, but compared to Tef he's the picture of an optimist. And you can feel Tef's coldness, the harsh way he adresses Poppy, the way he talks about her, it's the way he defends them, by being as brutally realist as he can. I'm reminded of the comic where he's trying not to soften towards Tink because he knows she'll be used against them, the way that Muskat presses him to set that aside and allow himself the joy tink would bring to them regaurdless of the reason she was given to him. It's just- you have such a strong grasp of your characters and I feel endlessly for them. I love them, I am gripped by them.

Gosh Poppy looks wrecked. But she's looked wrecked since the beginning of this comic. Her suit was a mess, but now she's not just rumpled, she's dirty, she's drunk, she's collapsed. And again we return to the shades of green! A subtle thing this time- the city and its hostility is a much more blue green than tef's hostility earlier which perhaps speaks to the fact that even though he rightly hates Poppy, resents her, he understands she's not in a great position either, he's a measure gentler than he might be if he didn't understand. And now! Jerry! Ephegenia!

The way she towers over this scene both because Poppy is literally on the ground and also because sheholds all the powerbetween them- and she's got her makeup on too- she's got her mask on. She's impervious. Atop the world. Gloating- until suddenly she isn't. It's interesting that when Poppy lashes out verbally, cuts the shit and just tells her to fuck off the green tint across her drops for a moment- the inherent hostility the power she holds- disrupted- momentarily broken in shock before it settles back into place.

You used a phrase to describe Poppy once that I think is really fitting- endlessly chipper. She's been beaten, broken- lost an eye, lost her status, lost her science, her friends, but she never lets the facade fall, its obvious it bothers her, otherwise she wouldn't pursue that stuff so doggedly, but she never lets anyone see it bothers her. The closest we've ever gotten is the scene with her protesting the council's unfair treatment, she was furious then, and I think these are the only times we've really see the mask fall… completely at least, and we can certainly infer it happened after the pregancy- but hell, even when Jerry sprung on her that Tink is her kid she didn't let the devistation sit with her, she denies it. Gosh Poppy is so compelling, the things that have stakes to her, her personal moral compass, her own feelings towards her atrocities, she comes across as ruthlessly pragmatic. She'll do Anything it takes. But you get the sense that she doesn't sleep easily for it, though she'd like you to beleive it.

To some extent, she doesn't seem to regret a great deal of what she did, but it still weighs on her, and in this moment you really feel that she's truly letting herself face the weight of what she's done, and wallow in it. She wants Jerry to leave her alone, not because she blames Jerry, but because she blames herself, and doesn't want Jerry rubbing her face in it.

I am endlessly curious to know what Ephegenia expected, Poppy to lash out, placing blame on everyone else, perhaps physically, as Ephegenia clearly expects and wants the proof that the convicts are violent, she wanted rage, but I don't think she expected misery.

This is utterly spectacular. I am absolutely captivated by your ability to convey mood and tone, and your beautiful expression work, and as always I am obsessed with you characters. Their story is deeply compelling to me and I am ever excited to see the turns it will take next.

this is not the personality development ephegenia had had in mind with her last move.

more about these characters here^^