#the roast is real

[ne-cocoa]

Monkey + bull = ???

Just a lil silly thing :3

[rayandgay]

bestie behavior

[gale-force-storm]

I feel like most of the Wyll x Gale/Bladeweave content I see focuses on "Look at these two charming gentlemen! Lovely fancy lads <3" and like yes, totally, but also. Also.

These two would be such a sassy, bitchy, passive-aggressive couple

Gale "I won't take this lying down. That seems more your style" Dekarios and Wyll "I was wrong about you. You aren't actually insufferably randy. You're just insufferable" Ravenguard?

Gale "I'd wish you a bright future, but as you cannot escape your own company that would be a futile gesture" Dekarios and Wyll "I used to think first love was unsurpassable but you're much more tolerable now that you've found your second" Ravenguard?

These two would go to a ball, take a few turns around the dancefloor, have a lovely evening, and then spend the entire trip home living their best Statler and Waldorf lives just roasting everyone who annoyed them

And gods help you if you manage to genuinely piss off both of them. Forget swords and spells, they'd eviscerate you with their words alone

They may not be as openly catty as Astarion, but their gentlemanly demeanor just means when they roast someone they do it ~eloquently~, and I for one love that for them

[kayadrake123]

Intervention

Dick: Tim, something important has come to our attention.

Jason: Yeah, and we really need to speak to you about it.

Tim: What are you guys even talking about ?

Y/N: This is an intervention. You, Timothy Jackson Drake, are addicted to solving cases. It’s unhealthy.

Tim: No I’m not.

Jason: Yes the fuck you are.

Damian: You are addicted to solving cases the same way Y/N is addicted to flavoured air.

Y/N: wait, what-

Duke: Exactly, that’s why this is so serious. We don’t want you ending up like Y/N.

Y/N: Ending up like- hold on a second-

Jason: Do you see how many friends they have? Zero. We are the only friends they have.

Y/N: That’s not true I have friends. Look, I think we’re going off topic here. Tim, you need-

Dick: Who?

Y/N: …what?

Tim: Who are your friends? Name them.

Y/N: Well…there’s-

Tim: Don’t say me.

Y/N: Shit.

Damian: You see what can happen to you if you allow your addictions to take over your life? It makes you weak.

Jason, nodding his head: Like Y/N.

Tim: Shit, yeah I need to stop. I can’t be like Y/N.

Y/N: Okay stop. Is this what you all think of me? That I’m an addict?

Batboys: *nod their heads yes*

Duke: And that you’re weak.

Y/N: Okay fuck all of you bitches, I hope you fall out of a window. *walks away*

Tim: Love you!

[etirabys]

I don't have a near-age sibling but some social feedback seems ideally delivered via indelicate roasting by a near-age sibling when you are in your teens. It feels easier to take "you don't shower and that's why no one likes you" from a sibling than parent or friend. Easier to deliver as a sibling, too

your parent gently saying "you should shower more" – ignore it. what do they know about the realities of your existence...

your friend says it (also nicely) – mortifying and weird, much likelier you'll take it to heart but you'll visibly feel terrible about it for a long time, which they didn't want, and now they're even more reluctant to say things to you (or anyone really)

it doesn't get fixed so your future first partner has to say it – god. might as well die

your annoying sibling – "fuck off" + slink off to shower a few hours later

[jesncin]

Thank goodness white martian and green martian live together in harmony in your comic. Not the stupid unbelievable thing about how green martian oppressed white martian treat them like second class citizen not perfect allegory of racism

Does green and white martian ever married to each other

Green and white martians can't become life partners. They're two different categories of martians (average martians vs cosmic martian). Since Mars itself creates white martians, there isn't an inherit need for white martians to have to procreate or have romantic relationships. A few white martians do make romantic connections with each other though.

and if they do you should!! Run immediately!!

[corpusdiem-seizethedead]

Husk: How was your day?

Angel: Good.

Husk: Really?

Angel: Don't make me lie twice.

[trentarnolds]

Jurgen Klopp + LFC 08.10.2015 - 19.05.24? The time I spent with you was a miracle in my life

[magnusbae]

"I'm.. better at hiding it" screaming, gagging, collapsing— Obi-Wan is this a joke to you— is tHIS A JOKE—?! Anakin looks fully baffled too, not believing Obi-Wan and thinking he's joking but also for a moment there he seems like he's about to ask him, are you serious? And frankly. Isn't it the entire conflict of those two? I'm better at hiding it. If only you weren't so good at this Obi-Wan, perhaps you wouldn't earn that infinite sadness you had predicted for yourself. i'll perish now.

[guess-i-do-art]

Draw Izzy Hands :3

✨💅sChMoL💅✨

Before you say anything like “ohhh stede should have been Ed or Lucius” yes that occurred to me, but Stede is the king of passive aggression plus I really wanted to draw him in his cursed red suit 🫶

[rewritingcanon]

stop making fics where scorpius and al have friends and are popular in school. they’re literally loser boyfriends bro their only friends be each other wdym they have other people they’re chatting to on a consistent basis??? the only other people they talk to thats not each other are the blood relatives and even that pushes it

[anna-scribbles]

regained my 12 year old swag(read an entire new percy jackson book in one sitting)

[traumxrei-archive]

【 stepping toe to toe with you 】

prompt #2: They were dancing together but all of a sudden it’s a slow song and now they were both standing here, awkwardly staring at each other (ft. jade leech, trey clover, ace trappola)

gn! prefect (you/yours), drabbles, word count: 860 words

a/n: hello it is so late i wanna sleep but i was also determined to post this today. so here we are. if there are spelling mistakes forgive me everyone, but i hope you enjoy :D

Jade Leech

Jade was never one for dancing, per se, but a very enthusiastic Prefect looking at him with puppy eyes was a good enough incentive as any.

"C'mon Jade-senpai," You said, tugging him to the middle of the hall. "They don't have parties like this everyday." And you were right, parties seldom happened in Mostro Lounge. But he was Jade Leech after all. He could indulge in you for a few minutes of mindless dancing.

That was until the music drastically shifted into a slow song. Jade froze. He swore that he saw Floyd standing near the sound booth with a smug smile on his face.

"Do you know how to ballroom dance, senpai?"

"Regrettably, I do not," Jade said shortly.

"Well, do you want to try?" With such an expectant smile on your face, how was Jade to refuse?

It wasn't long before Jade was flushing down his neck after stepping on your feet for the nth time.

"For someone who moves elegantly, your coordination is terrible," You teased and Jade was mentally preparing to roast Floyd on a spit.

"If you'd like to dance, Floyd would be happy to accompany you," Jade reasoned quickly. "He is more than competent dancer—."

"Senpai~" You drew out the last syllable, tugging till he was chest-to-chest with you. "It's you that I want to dance with, okay?"

And Jade shut up at that. His hand squeezed yours as he clumsily continued to blunder through the steps. Maybe dancing wasn't so bad, especially if it was with you.

Trey Clover

Trey had never been the one to listen to music in the kitchen, but you were. That was exactly why he was getting tugged along with you in a clumsy sort of dance. You laughed when he narrowly avoided bumping into a counter.

"Wow, senpai, where'd you learn those moves?" You asked, the teasing light on your tongue. He flushed lightly at the words, before grabbing your arm and pulling you into a spin.

"Give a guy a break," Trey mumbled, eyeing the clock. "I'm trying not to burn the cake."

"If it burns, then can I eat it?"

He sighed as you tugged him into another spin, "I spoil you too much."

That was when the music shuffled into a soft, orchestral tune. He froze in his spot, his hand lamely limp in yours are he looked everywhere but at you.

That was when you let go, bowing deeply, "Ahem, may I have this dance, Sir Clover?"

Trey took one look at the grin on your face and placed his hand in yours, "I hope you know how to lead, because I'm not well-versed in ballroom dancing."

You laughed, bright and colorful, "All you gotta do is hold on to me, alright, senpai?"

"Alright," Trey's reply was almost automatic, his heart fluttering. "I'll make sure never to let go." It sounded like a promise. And it was. It was a promise he was intent on keeping, after all.

Ace Trappola

Ace was having the time of his life. There was a smirk on his face as he entwined his fingers with yours, leading you through the crowd.

"Ace Trappola! We're– We just left all the others behind!" You scolded over the noise of the crowd.

"Oops, my bad," Ace said, clearly not feeling bad at all. "Those boring losers didn't even want to dance."

Your brows furrowed, "Those 'boring losers' are gonna end up getting kidnapp—"

"Relax," Ace drawled, pulling you into a spin. "Have some faith in Jack, will ya? 'Sides, it'd be a crime not to dance, Prefect." You looked two seconds from hitting him with a tirade of insults but he watched as your shoulders slumped.

Hook. Line. Sinker.

Ace hummed the familiar tune, watching as you finally started loosening up. That was when he heard a voice booming over the speakers, "Alright folks, we got a request from Trappola Sucks to put on a slow song! Hope you enjoy it, Trappola Sucks!"

The song shifted to a slower one and you all but laughed, "Fifty thaumarks that it was Epel and Deuce."

"This is so not funny," Ace muttered, but he still pulled you closer. All the others around you had paired up, and he would be damned if a stranger came to take you away.

"May I have this dance, Mr. Trappola Sucks?" You asked, and he couldn't help but fondly roll his eyes.

His heart almost jumped up to his throat when he noticed just how close you were to him. Sevens, his palms were sweating.

You huffed out another laugh as you let your head fall on his shoulder, "Where'd all that bravado go? Don't tell me you've finally fallen for my charm?"

Ace pouted and before he could process what he was about to say, he blurted, "So what if I did? Are you gonna do anything about it?"

You hummed, squeezing his palm, "I would take you on a date?" And now Ace wasn't sure who was being swept off their feet. He was sure he confessed, but the way you took initiative made him speechless.

"Is that a yes, Trappola?"

"Fuck you. Of course it's a yes."

thank you so much for reading ! if you liked my work, go and check out my other writings in the masterlist <3

[shesmore-shoebill]

Chanse texting Angela that he's subtweeting her so she has to wake up RIGHT NOW...... That's True Friends Baybee..... thats the kind of friendship representation i crave on my screen....

[marsuro]

They’re making roasted chestnuts

(And eating them)

[misspoetree]

[9/24]

❄❄ kp + text post advent calendar ❄❄