#The hand is probably Lucius or Pete pointing

[guess-i-do-art]

Draw Izzy Hands :3

✨💅sChMoL💅✨

Before you say anything like “ohhh stede should have been Ed or Lucius” yes that occurred to me, but Stede is the king of passive aggression plus I really wanted to draw him in his cursed red suit 🫶

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Had a hankerin' to see Ed get pampered and fussed over by the crew, so wrote this little scene. Bon appétit, get loved nerd

--

It happened, Ed thought, because he still wasn’t used to going without the gloves.

He’d been helping the crew run the rigging, and he’d assumed he’d be fine, estimating based on having some sort of cover on his hands, and he’d fucked up and wound up with a rope burn down his palm.

He grit his teeth and put up with it, only allowing himself to gingerly shake his hand and examine the injury once the job was done. “Shitfuck,” he mumbled to himself as he looked at the blood pooling in his palm.

“What’s that? Rope burn?” Frenchie looked at Ed’s hand over his shoulder, and then waved his hand to get Roach’s attention. “Oy! We’ve got a rope burn!”

Ed jumped a mile at a hand on his arm, and turned to see Archie pointing him to go sit down on the railing.

“No, no, that’s not-” Ed cleared his throat, instinctually stuffing his injured hand in his pocket. “It’s just a rope burn.”

“Yeah, and Jim got a rope burn last week, and they let us take care of them,” Archie said. “You think you’re tougher than them? You wanna say that to their face?”

“Guess not.” Ed allowed himself to be steered towards the railing, and his face burned when the crew gathered around to gawk at his injured hand. Olu winced sympathetically, and Pete tried to pretend he’d seen worse even as he turned a bit green.

“Might need to amputate it,” Pete said.

“Fuck no!” Ed hid his hand behind his back. “It’s barely bleeding, man.”

“Your loss,” Pete shrugged. “I could make you a really cool wooden hand. Probably cooler than Spanish Jackie’s, even.”

“I swear to God, babe,” Lucius hissed, “you’ve got to stop telling people we need to cut their limbs off.”

“Who’s got the rope burn?” That was Roach, pushing through the crowd with a bowl of water in hand and a roll of bandages tucked beneath his elbow. Ed’s face went all hot but Roach didn’t even say a fucking thing, didn’t even question that Ed deserved to be sitting there getting fussed over. “Yowch, that’s a good one. Might need to amputate.”

Ed barely had enough time to gawk open-mouthed at him, considering making a run for it, before Roach laughed playfully.

“You should’ve seen your face,” he chuckled as he held out a hand, waiting for Ed to offer his injured hand up for examination.

Ed gritted his teeth as Roach cleaned the burn with a wet cloth, accompanied by the crew hissing sympathetically.

“Why,” Ed started, before he got a little overwhelmed by everyone continuing to fuss over him like he was a sick kitten and went back to staring sheepishly at the ground.

“Because no one deserves to just sit around and be in pain when we could help,” Olu said, as if that made the most sense in the world. “Why wouldn’t we help? There’s no need for you to just go off and bleed alone somewhere.”

“I mean…” Ed watched as Roach wrapped his hand in a neat bandage. “That’s just life though, isn’t it?”

Archie grinned at him. “Not our life.”

“We’d do the same for any of us,” Frenchie told him reasonably. “Besides, we don’t want you to die, man. Who’d tell the best ghost stories then?”

“And who’d let us know when there’s a storm coming?” Olu added.

Fang smiled at him. “And who would help me fish?”

When Stede stepped out on deck to see what the commotion was about, it was to everyone still standing around Ed, reminding him how he should be sure not to get the dressing on his hand wet, or pick up anything too heavy with that hand, and to be careful to keep it clean. “What’s going on here?”

“Oh, hey, Cap,” Roach said. “Ed got a rope burn.”

Ed kind of lamely held out his injured hand, which still seemed comically disproportionate to the big deal everyone was making out of it. “It’s just a rope burn.”

“Ah.” Stede smiled at Ed’s befuddled expression. “And he’s getting the same treatment Jim got when they got a rope burn last week, I take it?”

Ed ran a finger over the bandages on his hand, only half-listening as they started in with embellishing the story (by the time they finished, Ed had apparently pushed through despite the burn for twenty full minutes, and if you looked, half the rigging was blood-stained). It actually felt a little nice to be fussed over, he thought. He could get used to it.

[collinrobinsonsglasses]

Hello there!!

Really adore your "Too Soft to be a Pirate" work!! It's beyond incredible! I can't thank you for such a lovely piece!

Saw your requests are open, so here's my silly little thought:

Izzy Hands x Reader. Mutual pining. Fluff.

Besides being a certified badass, Reader is also a skilled artist. Stede, ever the enjoyer of art, buys the necessary supplies. Here come the portraits, landscapes and so on.

During some moment of quiet on the ship, Izzy is looking for the Reader and finds them in one of the somewhat secluded rooms of the Revenge, making a portrait of Mr. Hands himself.

They talk their pining through as a crew. Maybe even kiss about it lol.

Thank you for you works once again <3

Thank you for all the kind words @imchloefuckingprice-blog <3 I wrote the first part of this in Lucius's point of view, because he's the best when two people don't know how to express their feelings. I hope this was what you were looking for.

Izzy Hands x Reader (GN)

Masterlist

A Brush of Fate

Lucius prided himself on his keen observational skills. After all, he had recognized Stede and Ed’s feelings for each other long before they did. Now, his perceptive gaze focused on the unmistakable connection between you and Izzy. One night, while Lucius sketched and you painted, you opened up to him about your feelings for Izzy. Despite Lucius reassurances, you remained unsure about Izzy reciprocating your emotions. You insisted to Lucius that Izzy was still caught up in his feelings for Blackbeard. However, Lucius saw Izzy’s lingering gaze directed toward you from across the deck, noting his subtle attentiveness as he went out of his way to help you with tasks around the ship.

The more Lucius thought about the relationship between you and Izzy, the more it seemed to fall into place. Your undeniable skill with a sword and adept sailing skills meant you never pissed Izzy off like the other members of Bonnet’s crew. You were a certified badass and your artistic talents formed a quick bond between you and Lucius. You were Lucius’s favorite person on board, second only to Black Pete. Lucius believed Izzy would have to be an idiot not to have feelings for you. However, in Lucius’s opinion, Izzy frequently displayed behaviors that bordered on idiocy. 

“What are you working on today, babes?” Lucius inquired with a smirk as he entered the former ballroom, closing the door behind him. Lucius already knew the answer, observing a subtle shade of red flash across your face. 

In response, you turned the easel to face him and the doorway. Lucius gazed upon the beautiful portrait of Izzy hands before him, experiencing a pang of pity for its painter. 

As a thought crossed Lucius’s mind, he burst into laughter. “I can’t imagine what Stede would say if he knew you were using the paint supplies he bought you to create that. I feel like he would have a conniption.” 

After laying eyes on one of your small paintings, Stede had purchased supplies for you, hoping you would help replace the artworks lost on The Revenge during the era of the kraken. He confided in both you and Lucius, expressing his desire to make the ship feel like home once again. He wanted things to get back to normal and to help Edward feel comfortable. 

“I made those for Stede,” you remarked, and Lucius followed your finger to two paintings leaning against the ship wall to dry. One depicted The Revenge, and Lucius couldn’t help but marvel at the delicate details of the ship, rolling his eyes at your undeniable talent. The other showcased Ed, dressing in his exquisite purple attire from the night of the fancy party. You even included the tiny purple bows adorning his beard. 

“He’ll actually love those,” Lucius huffed, surprised to find no sarcastic comment to direct at the paintings. Playfully, he rested his chin on your shoulder from behind as you both admired the portrait of Izzy. “Now, who will this portrait go to?” Lucius teased. 

“No one. I’ll probably paint over it once I’m done.” 

“Why are you painting it then?” Lucius asked, disappointment evident in his tone. The portrait was beautiful, and he hoped you would give it to Izzy, finally admitting your true feelings. 

“I thought that if I painted Izzy, his face would get out of my head,” you replied quietly, and Lucius couldn’t help but hear the vulnerability in your voice. 

Lucius empathized with that line of thinking, but in a slightly different way. He recalled how he had sketched Blackbeard’s face for weeks, only to be snapped out of it by Black Pete. “I get that,” Lucius replied, pursing his lips and scrunching his face, before lifting his sketchbook to reveal one of the many drawings of Blackbeard. 

He observed the relief that washed over your face at being understood, forming a smile at the drawings. “Flower Blackbeard was my favorite,” you chuckled.

“Maybe…” Lucius lingered, playfully bumping his hip into yours. “You should give Izzy the painting, and that’ll get him out of your head” he suggested with a mischievous glint in his eye. 

You responded with a sarcastic laugh, accompanied by a roll of your eyes. Lucius dropped his playful expression, reciprocating with a roll of his eyes. Deep down, he just wanted you to be happy. Over the past few weeks, Izzy had grown on him, and while he may not have thought Izzy deserved you, it was clear that he was always occupying your thoughts. 

“I’ll leave you to moping and painting then,” Lucius said, patting your shoulder before heading out of the ballroom with a clear objective in mind. 

He found Izzy in the hallway leading to the captain’s quarters, gazing at one of your new paintings Stede had just hung up. This sight caused Lucius to smirk; he knew he was right about how Izzy felt about you. Determined to push you two together, he decided he would do everything he could to make it happen. Lucius was tired of seeing you unhappy when all that seemed necessary was to talk it through. 

“Pretty good, right?” Lucius slid into the spot next to Izzy, crossing his arms and directing his gaze at the painting. The painting depicted a simple sunset over the water, yet it radiated a quiet beauty. 

Izzy only replied with a grunt, clearly annoyed that Lucius had caught him staring at your painting. 

“I didn’t know you were such a lover of art, Iggy,” Lucius continued, attempting to poke at him further. “You and Stede must have so much to discuss.” 

“What the fuck do you want, twatty?” Izzy snapped in response. 

“There’s a leak in the ballroom,” Despite his usual quick-witted nature, he knew this lie lacked conviction. 

“Why the fuck is that my problem?” Izzy grumbled. 

“Blackbeard told me to tell you, so you could fix it.” Lucius’s arms involuntarily squeezed more tightly across his chest as he lied, but he tried to relax once he noticed. 

“Well… you told me, so fuck off.” 

“Oh, absolutely,” Lucius quickly retreated from the conversation, hoping his lie was convincing enough to get Izzy to go where he needed him. Lucius perched himself on one of the mast tops, carefully watching the direction Izzy departed. When he noticed Izzy heading toward the ballroom, Lucius bit his lip with anticipation. 

⚓⚓⚓⚓⚓⚓⚓⚓⚓

Izzy slowly wandered down the hallway, heading towards the ballroom, frustrated at being the one who always had to fix the ship’s problems. He was even more annoyed by Lucius teasing him about you. He couldn’t help but stare at your painting. It was beautiful, just like you. If it was so obvious to Lucius how Izzy felt about you, then you must be aware of it too. Perhaps it was some inside joke between the two of you. Izzy had held feelings for you for quite some time now, witnessing how you found beauty in the small details that most people would overlook. Your ability to turn the mundane into lovely paintings had captivated him, and with each stroke of your brush, his admiration for you grew. 

Feeling discouraged, Izzy had almost decided to give up on his feelings for you when he opened the door to the ballroom and found you immersed in painting. He was taken aback for a moment, not realizing that this was where you created your art, and then confused about why Lucius had sent him here. There were no visible leaks in sight. That’s when he saw a portrait of himself staring back at him. His jaw dropped as he tried to understand the meaning behind the painting. 

“Fuck off, Lucius,” he heard you say as you continued to paint, not turning towards the sound of the door opening. Izzy contemplated whether he should leave, feeling like he had interrupted a private moment. However, in his moment of indecision, you turned around to face him. Izzy observed your eyes widen in surprise, followed by your cheeks blushing a deep shade of scarlet. “You’re not Lucius,” you whispered quietly, regaining your composure. 

Izzy tried to rack his brain, attempting to find a reason why you would be painting him, but he couldn’t come up with a single explanation. A moment of silence stretched between you both as you stared at each other, waiting for the other to speak. Izzy glanced over at the two other paintings in the room. “Are these for Bonnet?” he questioned, gesturing towards all the paintings. 

“Those two are. This one is just something I’m doing for fun,” you replied, and Izzy sensed the nervousness in your demeanor as you spoke. 

“Why?” Izzy inquired. 

“I feel like you have a face that’s worth being painted,” you whispered. 

Izzy didn’t know how to respond to your words; they seemed sincere, but this whole scenario didn’t make sense to him. Why did Lucius send him here? Taking a moment to examine you, he noticed you were in an old, oversized shirt covered in paint. As he gazed at your face, he observed a bit of paint smeared across your nose. He wasn’t sure what information he was trying to glean, but he also enjoyed just looking at you. 

Realizing he had been staring at you for too long without a response, Izzy quickly found his words. “Lucius told me there was a leak in this room.” 

Izzy watched your face contort from one of nervousness to annoyance. 

“Of course he did,” you snapped. Izzy observed as you dropped the paintbrush onto a nearby stoll where your paint sat, glancing towards the door as if you were going to find Lucius yourself to teach him a lesson. “There’s no leak, Izzy.” 

Finally, the pieces snapped together in Izzy’s mind. Lucius’s teasing remark and him sending Izzy to find you painting a picture of him–it was all part of a big joke, and he realized he was the butt of it. Izzy felt anger rising within him. He never expected you to treat him like this, and the revelation left him feeling both hurt and surprised. 

“Oh, I see. You and Mr. Spriggs are joking around and wasting my time,” Izzy spat as he began to turn towards the door to leave. 

“Wait, Iz.” Izzy felt your light grip on his arm, pausing at your touch. “Lucius knows how I feel about you, so I think this was his way of forcing me to tell you. I’m not trying to waste your time or play a joke on you.” 

“How do you feel about me?” Izzy whispered quickly. He felt his demeanor instantly soften and turned back towards you. 

“I like you, Israel Hands,” you said steadily, your big eyes gazing into his, seeming to search for any sort of reaction. 

When he gave none, you grabbed Izzy’s hand, leading him towards the painting, gesturing to your work as you spoke. “On the outside, ruggedly handsome, worn by the sea, tough but your eyes… There’s a gentleness you can see in your eyes. The way they soften when you talk about something you love, the subtle warmth they hold when you smile. I like you because I see a complexity in you, Izzy– a blend of strength and tenderness that intrigues me.” 

Izzy turned towards you, prompting you to face him. His fingers reached up to gently trace the paint on your nose. You closed your eyes at his touch, opening them to meet his gaze once his hand fell from your face. “Paint?” you asked in a soft whisper. 

“I like how you look… even with paint on your face. Especially with paint on your face.” Izzy confessed, his tone tender. “I like you.” 

Izzy gazed down, captivated, as a sweet smile stretched across your face. His eyes lingered on your lips, attempting to memorize their shape and color. A silent anticipation filled the space between you, Izzy pondering the sensation of your lips against his, the curiosity and desire swirling within him. You closed the gap between you, your lips meeting his in a tender kiss. The connection was soft and sweet. Time seemed to stand still as your lips gently explored the contours of Izzy’s. 

“I fucking knew it,” Lucius’s voice rang out from the hallway in delight. 

Izzy immediately let go of you, worried about your reaction to Lucius seeing you with him. You only replied with a giggle, shutting the door quickly. “Fuck off, Lucius,” you sang playfully. 

As your arms warped around Izzy, pulling him in for another kiss, he heard Lucius’s annoyed voice through the door. “I feel like I deserve a thank you, at least.” 

For the first time, Izzy was thankful to Mr. Spriggs for sticking his nose into everyone’s business. Thanks to him, he was getting to hold you in his arms, instead of just having to admire you from afar. You had told Izzy he had a face worth painting, but in Izzy’s mind, you yourself were a work of art.

[veeagainsttheday]

Ed, Killing, and the Kraken in Our Flag Means Death S1 and S2

This meta contains a whole heckuva a lot of spoilers for Our Flag Means Death seasons 1 and 2. Thanks to @petrichorca who gave it a read through and left some helpful comments!

When we first get to know Ed in s1e4, the episode concludes with him telling his first mate, Izzy Hands, about his plans to murder Stede Bonnet and steal his identity so Ed can retire from piracy. Ed and Izzy discuss the plan in a casual manner, like this act isn't shocking or deviant from previous conversations and schemes Ed and Izzy have had before. This is consistent with how other characters, especially Black Pete, have described Blackbeard in previous episodes (‘when Blackbeard kills man, woman, or child…’). While Black Pete is (probably) lying, Buttons was with him until the flip. 

As the song ‘The Empty Boat’ by Caetano Veloso plays, Izzy tells Ed, 'You've still got it' and Ed says, 'I know,' turning away to face the empty deck. Only the audience witnesses his true facial expression - the Blackbeard mask falling, a kind of dead-eyed exhaustion (echoed by the lyrics of the song) taking its place. 

In s1e5, we see Ed threaten violence against the French captain, but he doesn't actually hurt the man himself. We also see him act as if he's about to go kill the French partygoers before Stede steps in and 'handles it'. At this point I think we the audience would, if asked, have said that Ed seems to have a casual attitude towards killing that you would expect from 'the legendary Blackbeard'. He's scary ('next one goes through your fucking eyeball') and almost cartoonishly violent ('skin him. And use the snail fork'). So we the audience maybe make some assumptions about where the show stands on violent killing - not only that Blackbeard is familiar with it, but that it's a commonplace act for him.

Then we come to a pivotal moment. In s1e6, Izzy pushes back on Ed for not killing Stede, there’s the conversation about doggy heaven, and Ed promises Izzy that he’ll be the one to do the killing. We see Ed hyping himself up (‘You’re a killer bro. So kill.’) and then holding his knife while standing next to Stede behind the curtain in the captain’s cabin. They’re interrupted by Lucius cutting off his finger. Ed doesn’t go through with it; the moment passes as Stede exits the curtain to announce the entrance of the Kraken. 

At this point, I as an audience member fully believed that Ed couldn’t kill Stede because of his feelings for him. I wasn’t yet sure what those feelings were, but I knew that Ed had a deep affection for Stede, and for a moment I believed that was all that was holding him back. Then, of course, we see Ed have a PTSD/panic attack trigger from the Kraken fuckery that sends him into Stede’s bathtub, hiding underneath Stede’s robe, where he and Stede have what I believe is the most intimate moment of the entire first season (a reading supported by s2e3). Ed tells Stede, ‘The Kraken didn’t kill my dad. I did.’ We are shown the flashbacks to the way Ed’s father abused him and his mother, and the Kraken story he told on deck earlier is shown again with the figure of the beast in the water replaced by himself, as a young teen, on the dock. 

Then Ed tells Stede, ‘If I’m being honest, I haven’t killed another man since.’ Stede tries to comfort him by reminding him how much he loves a good maim, but Ed is still preoccupied with how the fact that he killed his abusive father as a child means that he’s not a good person, and that this is why he doesn’t have any friends, aka, isn’t loveable. Stede tells him, ‘I’m your friend,’ in essence, To me, you are loveable, and Ed reacts by saying, ‘No,’ and banging his head against the tub.

The next important point happens in s1e8, when Jack invites himself to breakfast and regales Stede (very deliberately, as he’s trying to push Stede and Ed apart) with the tale of Ed setting a ship alight and killing many people. (Also note - the show’s first mention of Hornigold! ‘He treated us like dogs! Worse than dogs!’ and ‘Ground us down into nothing!’) While Jack emphasises the horror and brutality of what Ed did, Ed’s demeanour completely changes - ‘No, Stede doesn’t want to hear about that.’ Jack obviously doesn’t listen to Ed; Stede’s face passes from horrified listening to Jack to squinting at Ed like, ‘Is this - true?’ Ed looks thoroughly guilty as the story continues and Stede asks him, clearly doing his best to preserve Ed’s secret in front of Jack, ‘I thought you’d, uh, given up the killing?’ Ed surges forward in his seat and, not making eye contact with Stede, says, ‘Yeah, well, technically the fire killed those guys. Not me.’ The camera then cuts to Jack looking at Stede with a bit of an incredulous expression as if he’s both gauging Stede’s reaction to the entire thing and thinking, ‘Wow BB’s in deep here if he’s making up some weird story about not being the one who lit that fire.’  

I don’t think the show intends for us to believe that Ed was consciously lying to Stede in the bathtub scene in s1e6. Instead, we see the complex way that Ed - who is shown to be both brilliant and possessed of an internal monologue that just cannot shut up - has constructed mental barriers to protect himself from the trauma of killing while still achieving the highest possible status in a very violent profession and existing in a world marred by colonial violence perpetrated specifically against people like him. 

S1e9 shows Ed continuing to posture to everyone but Stede as Blackbeard, seasoned killer (for example, telling Chauncey that he barely remembers killing Nigel because he’s ‘a real “life is cheap” kinda guy’). At the Academy and briefly after, in the beginning of s1e10, Ed seems set to have given up killing and violence for real, but Izzy’s threats in the cabin in s1e10 send Ed reeling back to the Kraken persona he assumed when he killed his dad. The season concludes with him pushing Lucius off the ship and Krakening up to sail, rob, and raise hell forever - but the final shot shows Ed crying alone in his cabin, his Kraken makeup streaking down his face. It’s heartbreaking, but it’s one of my favourite scenes from a character perspective. Imagine if the season had ended with Ed fully transformed into the Kraken, rather than clearly miserable and heartbroken under his mask? 

Season 2 begins with Ed trying to set a record for most consecutive raids, working his crew to death under brutal and traumatic conditions. His list of crimes on his wanted poster certainly suggests a lot of violence and killing, yet the show is careful to show us Ed himself only seeming to kill one person - firing a gun into a man’s back during a raid - and if you look closely, you’ll see that the man was already dying with a dagger through his body. It feels vital to me that the only direct ‘killing’ action we see Ed taking is shooting a man who we presume he can justify as having been already on his way to death. 

In s2e1 and s2e2, Ed can’t kill Izzy, though he does try desperately to get Frenchie to do it for him. He can’t even kill himself, trying to get Izzy to do it instead. When he thinks Izzy has committed suicide with the gun he gave him, he says, ‘I loved you, best I could,’ as if any love Ed could give would by its nature not be good enough. 

Ed wakes in s2e3 in the care of his old captain, Hornigold; of course, he’s really in the gravy basket and Hornigold is serving as a Jacob Marley-esque psychopomp. They key to Ed realising that he’s really [Buttons voice] ‘down in the old gravy basket’ is the conversation that concludes his attempts to be Jeff the Innkeeper. Hornigold tells Ed that he’s not good with people - after all, he did strangle his father. Ed reacts first with disbelief then cold fury, saying he never told anyone that; Hornigold reminds him that he told one person and Ed flashes back to telling Stede in the bathtub in s1e6; then Hornigold reminds him that the one person he told left him, and we see Ed crying under his Kraken makeup at the end of s1e10. Later, when Ed (finally, even Calico Jack would have had it sooner) realises that Hornigold represents himself, he says that he’s unloveable. Here’s the crux of it - he believes that he is fundamentally unloveable because he killed his father, because he is the Kraken, the monstrous beast capable of lethal violence. That’s why Stede left, his brain is telling him even as he’s dying. 

Then Stede actually proves him wrong by returning, saving him from death, and telling him that he ‘love[s] everything about [him]’ in rapid succession. Whether or not Ed fully accepts this information, we do see him very quickly, yes, melt back into Stede’s arms. Which brings us to s2e6, and Stede’s killing of Ned Low. 

Quick digression into killing and Stede: Stede accidentally kills a man in s1e1, is haunted by his ghost in s1e2. He’s so haunted by dead Nigel that he spends a lot of s1e2 asking first Oluwande and Jim for advice on being a ‘mur-der-er’, and then asking Black Pete how his former employer, Blackbeard (!!!) handled killing. (How Pete says, ‘When Blackbeard kills man, woman, or child-’ lives in my head at all times, Matt Maher with the line deliveries of all time.) Finally in s1e2, during his court-mandated therapy with the tribal elder, Stede admits that he doesn’t feel bad about killing Nigel - he was a horrible person even when he was a child! Stede's guilt is coming from somewhere else. We see this again in s1e9, when Stede says it is time for him to face the consequences for what he’s done - it might seem like he means for killing Nigel, since that’s why he’s about to face the firing squad, but we know that Stede’s guilt is about abandoning his family (the people he’s hurt!). Similarly, when Stede kills Ned in s2e6, he seems to get over it very quickly. Ned is clearly a bad guy, and although the act of killing him was traumatic for Stede (much like the act of killing Nigel), Stede presumably reconciles it by knowing that he was protecting Ed and his crew (and avenging Calypso’s birthday). Stede as a character is shown to have a tremendous amount of natural resilience. We later see him immolate a guy and dispatch a number of British soldiers without hesitation. Stede is also one of the two main protagonists of the show, and his attitude towards killing seems to reflect the attitude of the show itself - killing colonisers and torturers to protect your loved ones is ok, actually. 

(Side note but I found this idea about how zero tolerance policies actually hurt victims very informative on the topic of why it's ok that Stede killed his childhood bully; I got that link from this very interesting post where several people are in conversation about how Ed is not Izzy's abuser.)

Back to Ed in s2e6. He asks Stede not to kill Ned; when Stede does anyway, Ed is visibly saddened and ignores Izzy telling him to give Stede a moment; instead he goes immediately to check in on Stede in his cabin. He knocks on the door and in that soft voice that he only ever uses with Stede, he starts to say, ‘Hey. You okay? Look, I was a wreck after my first kill as well.’ Then he pauses, before rambling, ‘I mean, well, it was my dad, so there's that,’ which feels like a little moment of self-reflection. Like. Yeah. Ed. Baby. You might be super fucked up about the act of killing because the first guy you killed was your dad, when you were a literal child! Also, Ed has never been to (as far as we know) court-mandated tribal elder therapy, so of course his decision to kill his father fucked Ed up for decades! Also as a very clever friend pointed out, we don’t know anything about what the consequences of that were for Ed - how did his mother react, is that why he ran away to sea, etc.

There's another important thing here that the audience knows, but that Ed has never told Stede (or, we have to assume, anyone) which is that the catalyst for Ed becoming the Kraken to kill his father was abuse. The audience is shown through his panic-attack-induced flashback that Ed's father physically and verbally abused his mother and presumably him too. All Ed has ever said to Stede or anyone about it, as far as we know, was his joke to the crew during scary story hour that his dad was a dick. Stede can probably infer roughly why Ed killed his dad, but he doesn't know the details, and he loves everything about Ed anyway, and now Ed knows that Stede does too. 

So Ed and Stede have sex, and as many metas have pointed out (like this one!), it's so meaningful that Ed feels safe enough to give up his Blackbeard/Kraken identity the very next morning. He attempts to get Stede to see that it might be nice to not be pirates anymore due to the high chance of death but Stede manages to completely misread it and laughs it off. (To be fair to Stede, they're both horrible at communicating and Ed is not saying what he wants in any direct manner.) Ed proceeds to have his big beautiful brain start to spiral out of control as Jackie points out how popular Stede is becoming as a pirate; Ed panics, tells Stede he doesn’t even know who he is, and leaves to become a fisherman before he can get left (again!). 

As Ed rows away from his failed career as a fisherman in s2e8, his boss Pop-Pop (who he has managed to recreate a fucked up father-son dynamic with that like so many things in his show is played for laughs but has pretty dark undertones) yells after him, 'If you were ever good at anything, go and do that, you bum.' Ed rows back into the port of the Republic of Pirates and sees the destruction Prince Ricky has wrought upon the pirate community. Ed's first thought is, Stede, and then he imagines Stede calling for help before straight up murdering two British soldiers. He remembers Pop-Pop's words and says, 'Have it your way,' before diving into the sea, retrieving his leather, putting it on underwater, and emerging from the waves fully dressed. It's fantastically hot and the exact level of drama I expect from this man. The Kraken musical cue is playing as it happens. 

We now see Ed murdering British soldiers in the coolest ways possible, demonstrating his skill at fighting in hand to hand combat. One way to read him taking Pop-Pop's advice is that this is what he's good at - killing and violence. 

But you know what Ed’s even better at? Protecting the people he loves. His mother, himself, and Stede. Each time Ed becomes the Kraken, he fulfils that. He protects his mother from his father, himself from Izzy after being warned that ‘[Edward] better watch his fucking step’, and Stede from the invading colonisers who want to destroy their freedom. But something has changed the third time he does it - this time, he can tell Stede that he loves him and he doesn't mean it as a tainted thing, but something that he knows Stede will treasure. He's both loveable and capable of loving. He always has been, of course, but now he knows it. The Kraken, the part of him that is capable of killing, was always a defence mechanism for Ed, but the third time he understands it and himself enough to know that it doesn’t make him a monster. 

[deskgirl]

Fandom: Our Flag Means Death Rating: General Main Characters: Wee John, Izzy Hands Setting: Post-season 2, "nobody dies/everybody lives" timeline

For the Izzy and Crew Event, a slice of life piece. I'm posting this here for now, but I'll upload to AO3 eventually.

Excerpt:

“What the fuck’s a leisure activity?” the man asked, growing more confused and frustrated.

“Stuff you like doing. Like having fancy drinks and blowing stuff up just for fun and telling people to fuck off when they’re wasting your time.” Wee John paused for emphasis, holding his drink aloft. “So fuck off.”

~

Sharing a Drink

~

A rum bottle flew across the crowded bar and shattered. Someone flung a chair in response. The gift of a thrown chair was clearly not appreciated as it was returned with equal force. A pistol went off, smoke pluming up from a third table totally uninvolved in the dispute but clearly annoyed by the disturbance. Rather than settling things, though, this only encouraged more thrown objects in more directions, a fair number of them sharp and pointy. This was generally ignored by everyone else in the bar as they were too busy getting drunk or cheating at cards.

Standard fare for a “den of iniquity,” as Stede liked to call these pirate-friendly dives. Or was it den of antiquity? Something like that. This particular den of inebriety had become the crew’s new favorite tavern until Jackie could get herself reestablished. In a lot of places, the beer was shit, but the bar here served decent stuff, barely watered down at all. The atmosphere was kind of bougie, but the prices weren’t bad and you hardly ever had to step over a dead body on your way to the outhouse. 

Wee John relaxed on a bench seat tucked against the wall, resting his back as he guarded the drinks the crew had left with him before scattering to the wind. John’s corner table provided a nice vantage point to watch the doors and his friends as they got up to their usual shenanigans. 

Frenchie and the Swede were doing something by the dice tables that would probably get them kicked out before the night was over, Jim was coaching a nervously laughing Oluwande through a game of darts against Archie and Zheng, and he thought he saw Lucius and Black Pete necking in the shadows by the coat rack. Zheng’s scary aunt had been here a minute ago, but John saw her slip out through the kitchen and knew better than to ask questions. 

“Whoa, look at you!” 

Wee John glanced sidelong at the man who’d staggered up to his table. He was about average as far as pirates went: a smattering of piercings, tasteful battle scar here and there, bit of gunpowder under the nails, short beard that needed a proper trim and oil, and a dusty leather jacket over what was probably the only shirt the man had to his name.

The unwanted visitor was also clearly deep in his cups, judging by his gaping expression and faint swaying. 

“Yer a big bastard,” the man continued. 

“That so?” Wee John asked as if it were news to him.

The other man paused, perplexed. “Yeah, mate.”

“You should see my brother. There’s a reason everyone calls me Wee John,” Wee John said, going back to sipping his drink. It was a fancy little thing in a narrow glass, orangey pink with a curl of grapefruit peel on top. He’d been feeling fancy when they all came in here riding high on their last raid, and nothing said fancy like a garnish. 

“I bet,” the other pirate laughed, dropping his hands to the table heavily. The crew’s drinks rattled and sloshed. “Let’s see what you can do, yeah? Arm wrestle, what’cha say?”

“No thanks. It’s my day off.”

“Your what?”

“My day off,” Wee John explained. “It’s like a mini vacation.”

“What’s a vacation?” 

“It’s a day when you don’t work. You’re supposed to do leisure activities.”

“What the fuck’s a leisure activity?” the man asked, growing more confused and frustrated.

“Stuff you like doing. Like having fancy drinks and blowing stuff up just for fun and telling people to fuck off when they’re wasting your time.” Wee John paused for emphasis, holding his drink aloft. “So fuck off.”

“You–!” The other man reared back, teeth bared, then lunged at Wee John. John distantly hoped that he’d come around the table instead of vaulting it. It’d be a real dick move if he knocked over everyone’s drinks. 

Suddenly the man went very still, his body hunched forward, arms out and shoulders stiff, all of his forward momentum halted by the feather-light touch of a blade at his throat. 

“I know you’re not fucking with my crew,” a familiar voice rasped from behind the drunk man. Izzy Hands stepped to the side and tilted his head so the unfortunate bastard could have a better look at who’d gotten the jump on him.

The drunk pirate’s eyes widened comically. “You’re…”

Izzy let the man flounder for a moment, clearly enjoying the recognition. “I am.” He eyed the other man up and down, taking his time, then sucked his teeth as if disappointed. God but he was a dramatic little shit. Wee John found it rather endearing now that it was being directed at someone else. 

“I didn’t know he was with you, Mr. Hands, I swear,” the man said. He still hadn’t moved and neither had Izzy’s knife. 

“That’s unfortunate,” Izzy said with a dash of fake sympathy. There was a long pause where John had the satisfaction of watching a fat drop of sweat roll down the man’s temple and into his beard. Then Izzy sniffed and slowly drew the blade away. “Luckily for you, I’m in an unusually good mood. Now, take my man Mr. Feeney’s advice and fuck off before I change my mind.” When the man continued to stand there, he made a shooing gesture with his knife.

As if an invisible cord had been cut, the man backpedaled wildly, bumped into someone behind him who spilled their beer and started swearing, then spun and ran off.

Izzy held himself tall for a moment longer before slowly deflating, leaning his hip against the table for support. Wee John recognized the signs of fatigue. The little man had pushed himself hard yesterday during the raid. Probably made himself sore the same as Wee John had with his back. 

“Hey,” Wee John called. When Izzy looked over, he patted the spot on the bench to his left.

Izzy hesitated before carefully shifting his weight and coming around the table. He startled when Wee John took hold of his elbow but didn’t protest the help as he eased himself down onto the bench. 

“Drink?” Wee John asked.

“You offering?” 

Wee John waved a hand at the table. “Crew’s offering.”

Izzy snorted softly as he perused the selection of abandoned drinks. After a bit of thought, he went for the half-tankard of ale. 

“Whose is this?” Izzy asked idly. He gave it a sniff before tipping it back to take a drink, not waiting for Wee John’s reply first.

“Archie’s,” Wee John said. “You know, I coulda handled that guy.”

“I know,” Izzy reassured as he wiped at the corners of his mouth with his thumb. “But like you said, it’s your day off. You’re not getting paid to work off the books so don’t bother.”

“That how you’re gonna play it?” Wee John gave his shoulder a squeeze. “You could just admit you like us, you stubborn little fucker.”

“I could also just jump in the bay.” 

Wee John chuckled. 

“Anyways, don’t act like I’ve done you any real favor.” Izzy gestured with his newly acquired tankard. 

When Wee John looked, he could see the drunk bastard who’d run off now sat at a table near the door and speaking heatedly to another man. He looked somewhat better kempt, with a long, red coat and dark hair tied at the nape of his neck. He was flanked by two bruisers who seemed intent on the conversation as well. 

“That’ll be his captain,” Wee John guessed. “They’re gonna jump us when we leave the bar.”

Izzy hummed in agreement.

“Should we tell the others? Leave out the back?”

Izzy eyed what was left in the tankard before throwing it back. He let out a satisfied sigh. “No need to ruin the crew’s fun. What’s a vacation without a bit of bloodshed?” 

“I don’t think you know what a vacation is.”

“Nope,” Izzy agreed. “Now pass me that drink with the lime wedge in it.”

[larphis]

My overtly dramatic but realistic prediction for the OFMD S2 pearl necklace:

After Stede and Ed make up, their freshly reestablished bond is (understandbly so) very fragile because Ed still carries a lot of the hurt from that night on the beach with him.

Stede, seeing how horribly he hurt the man that he loves, decides to come up with a plan and tells Ed that the crew and him will do some “lame robbery” to earn some money back and that Ed should just stay in the cabin because it wouldn’t excite him anyways and he should better use that time to rest and to get some energy back.

In reality Stede drags the crew into a fancy jewlery store and asks them for help to pick out something fancy because of Ed’s love for fine things.

The crew being absolutely done (because let’s be real “picking out apology jewlery for your captain’s boyfriend who left you out to die” really wasn’t part of the job description) just points at all kinds of stuff in hopes of going back to the ship as soon as possible.

However, Stede - being the extra person he is - feels like nothing is good enough for his beloved until he sees the pearl necklace and his eyes light up.

The crew looks very sceptical and asks their captain if he is sure that that is really something that Edward, Blackbeard, would like; but Stede is 100% convinced (“It’s perfect”).

So they steal the necklace (“I am sorry gentlemen, I wish I could pay you for your services but I’m doing this in the name of love!”) and head back to the ship.

When Stede arrives, Edward is already standing on deck and skeptically but curiously comes up to see what they gathered from the “lame robbery” - Izzy is right by his side and looks as pissed as ever.

While the crew already prepares to be thrown of the ship a second time, Stede hides the necklace behind his back and starts with a speech that probably goes something like:

“Ed, I know how much I’ve hurt you but I wanted you to know that I am so thankful to have been given a second chance by you and that I really don’t take any of this for granted.

And to honor that, I, with the help of the crew, picked out this fine piece of jewlery to remind you of the fact that you are worthy of beautiful things and how much I really meant it when I told you that I loved you”

Edward very slowly takes the pearl necklace out of Stede’s hands and looks at it with an unreadable expression - which in turn makes Izzy grin with pride:

“You are such a miserable creature, Bonnet. Did you really think that you could make someone like Blackbeard, the most cruel pirate to have ever lived, forgive you by gifting him a woman’s necklace?!”

“I love it”

“Exactly! He- WHAT?!”

Ed’s eyes are watery and still focused on the necklace as he quietly repeats himself:

“I love it”, he says, hesitates, but then walks up to Stede and kisses him on the cheek, “thank you” he adds and starts blushing.

(“Most cruel pirate to have ever lived” repeats Black Pete meanwhile under his breath with an obvious eyeroll, which earns him an elbow from Lucius)

Stede finally feels the tension leave his body and manages to shyly reply “no, thank you” with a smile that mirrors Ed’s.

Izzy only manages to hiss “I’m too old for this shit” as he turns on his heel and walks off.

But Ed honored the symbol of their renewed love and never went anywhere without the necklace again.

[dragon-kazansky]

Spirit of the sea

Izzy Hands x Reader (GN)

SEASON 2 CONTENT AHEAD!!!

Blackbeard rules the sea. Despite wanting his captain back, Izzy realises his mistake. Protecting the crew is his concern. Protecting you is his life mission. Stede's return brings hope, but there's a lot of work to be done before this crew becomes a family.

{Masterlist}

{Previous Chapter} - {Next Chapter}

Warnings: Spoilers. Izzy's depression spiral. No real unicorns were harmed in the making of Izzy's new leg. Things get a little steamy at the end.

Chapter Thirteen - Loving touch

♡♡♡

Stede had gathered the crew, minus Izzy, to talk to them all. Turns out Ed woke up. You swore under your breath when you heard that. No way is that man going to be happy with any of you.

"What happened to your face?" Pete asked Stede who was standing to a bruise on his cheek.

"Bet Blackbeard did that, didn't he?" Wee John asks.

"It was an accident. Okay? I think Ed just sat up too quickly," Stede says.

"That's what they all say," Roach states.

"As you know, he's gone through quite the ordeal and he does need to regain his strength," Stede explains.

"Yeah. He'll probably get around to killing you after he's rested," Jim says, looking Stede in the eye.

"Yeah, I'd say it's a pretty obvious mistake letting him get strong again," Lucius points out. You nod.

"Kick him off the ship already!" Jim yells.

"We just don't banish people, do we?" Stede says. "That's not us. Let's give him some time, perhaps to rebound a bit."

"Medically speaking, the man can't speak, and his brain is maybe couscous." Roach points out. "Also, gonna need that steak back. It's dinner."

"Right. Yes, aye."

"Maybe we should put it to the vote," Fang suggests.

"Do we have to do this now?" Stede asks.

The crew start yelling.

♡♡♡

Stede got his answers from the crew, that much was clear enough. As you head out, Stede catches up to you.

"You were awfully quiet in there."

"Don't get me wrong. I agree with them, Ed has to go."

Stede's expression falls.

"I know you like him, but that man... he did things. He hurt people like I've never seen before. He hurt Izzy..."

"Ah yes, Izzy. How is he?" Stede asks.

"He's been better."

"Where is he anyway? I didn't see him in there."

"Drinking probably. He, uh, he's stopped talking to me at the moment. He won't talk to anyone."

Stede frowns again. "He's stopped talking to you?"

"I think it's the constant drinking... It's making him... upset. Like, more than before."

"I see..."

You shrug lightly and sigh. "Look, I'm not looking for sympathy. You're the captain, sort this out."

You walk off. Stede watches you go, his heart feeling heavy. Maybe he could have a word with Izzy for you.

♡♡♡

You sit on deck with the wooden sparrow in your hands. After everything that happened it had survived. Izzy had kept it in his cabin. You had found it when you had gone in there to find him. Izzy was nowhere to be seen, but the sparrow was sitting on his desk. There was a slight chip in the wood, right on the wing, but for the most part it looked good.

You sigh as you run your finger carefully over it's little head. Did Izzy even notice it was gone? Probably not.

"The atmosphere around here sucks," Lucius sighs, sitting down next to you. You notice the cigarette between his fingers, but you don't ask. "What's that?" He nods toward the wooden bird.

"Marietta."

"Marietta?" He looks at you with a funny expression.

"That's what I called it. It was a gift for Izzy from me. I dropped the first one in the sea while I was angry at him... so I remade her." You hold the sparrow up. "She's a little beaten, but still in nest condition."

"You carved him a bird?"

"Look, I can't draw like you can. I can't make sew like Frenchie, or knit like Wee John. I can, however, whittle."

Lucius smiles a little. "I like it."

A moment of silence passes while you play with the bird in your hands a little more.

"So, you and Izzy?"

"So, you and Pete?" You reply, sarcastically.

"We're fine," he says defensively. "What's going on with your boyfriend?"

You raise your eyes to Lucius. "Blackbeard abused him. Punished him. Took his leg. He's a little upset at the moment. Rightfully so."

Lucius stands up a little defensively. "We've all been through shit," he says.

You narrow your eyes at him. "I'm not saying you haven't. We thought you were dead!"

"Well, I wasn't." He puts out his cigarette. "I've suffered too and it's all his fault!" He points to where Blackbeard is tied up on the deck.

"He's fucked everyone over, Lucius. Just need Stede to get his ass in gear and do something about it."

Lucius sighs. "Do you think anything will ever go back to how it was?"

"No," you admit honestly. "But I do believe things can get better. In time."

Lucius says nothing. He glares at Blackbeard and then leaves. You sigh and return to holding the bird, caressing it again gently.

"Oh, Izzy..."

♡♡♡

Stede found Izzy at the front of the ship. He was leaning on some of the rope rigging, his wooden leg propped up on the railing. In his other hand was a bottle of rum, of which he was drinking merrily.

He looked a mess.

Stede offered him a smile as he joined him, ignoring the look Izzy was throwing his way. He means over and notices the unicorn is missing it's head.

"He's seen better days, hasn't he?" Stede asks in a lighthearted manner.

"At least he's still got both legs!" Izzy yells.

"Yes!" Stede joins in. "He can't hear you, he's go no head. You've got a head, though, which you should look after."

Izzy down his rum. Stede sighs.

"What do you want, Bonnet?" Izzy asks, not really in the mood for conversation.

"Well, here's the thing. The crew, they're in a bit of a deadlock over the whole banishment of Ed thing and I just thought, seeing as, well, you were the one who kept his body aboard, maybe you should weigh in. You've already murdered him once. Seems like a pretty good payback." He chuckles softly. "So, what do you think?"

"My vote?" Izzy leans in a little closer to Stede. "A rotten let's got to come off."

"Right. Just to confirm, was that a nay or yay on the banishment?"

Izzy just drinks some more.

"Right... I suppose I just mention that our Spirit of the sea is worried about you. You've stopped talking to them apparently..."

Izzy says nothing.

"Don't push them out, Izzy."

Izzy just drinks from his bottle again. Stede sighs and takes his leave.

♡♡♡

"So! We, the crew of The Revenge, have voted and we've chosen banishment, unfortunately." Frenchie states, announcing the result. "So, yeah. Effective immediately. Your complimentary dinghy awaits you portside. Now leave, please."

"Fuck off," Ed hisses, walking past him. You watch him closely.

"Alright, rude."

"Fuck you," Ed laughs softly, walking past Olu.

"First time I've been on this side of a walk of shame," Wee John comments.

"Way to make this awkward, bruh," Archie says.

"Shitty sailing with you." Jim chimes in.

"You're making it really hard to look up to you, man," Pete sighs.

"Hey, made you this sandwich for the trip," Roach says, holding it out to him. Ed slaps it out of his hand and Stede catches it

"You don't want your sammie?" Stede looks sad.

Ed slaps it out of Stede's hand and it hits Lucius in the face. You have to cover your mouth to stop from laughing. Lucius bites back his laughter too. It really isn't a funny moment, throwing someone off the ship, but at least you can find something to laugh about, you supposed.

"Ed, say something at least."

Ed turns his head and looks at Stede.

"You're not a fuckin' mermaid."

You knit your brows together in confusion by that statement. Stede looked equally confused.

"What?"

Ed climbs off the ship and into the dinghy. Stede looks down and watches him, you and Lucius part with the rest if the crew, not hanging about to watch any longer.

Ed was gone. That was that.

♡♡♡

"Is it me or does the energy around here seem off?" Wee John asked.

"By 'the energy,' do we mean him?" Roach nods over to Lucius who was smiling and freaking out a little. "Or him?" He gestures over to where Izzy is still standing at the front of the ship yelling at the unicorn.

"Well, mythical creature?" Izzy yells. You sigh as you watch him from where you stand. He still wasn't talking to you much. "Anything to say to yourself? Fuck you!"

"Or them?" Roach asks, looking at Jim, Archie, Frenchie, and Fang scrubbing the deck of any "possible" bloodstains left over from where Edward had bled out.

"Do you still see blood?"

"Yeah. We'll get it. Just keep scrubbing."

"They're lookin' this way." Fang says.

You tune out the rest of their conversation to watch your stupid drunk pirate curse at the unicorn some more. If only you could talk to him. He would surely listen to you.

It was breaking your heart to see him fall apart like this. Izzy hadn't held you since you got back onto The Revenge. He was shutting you out, suffering on his own.

You hated it.

You try not to let the tears fall as you walk away, letting Izzy do whatever the fuck he wanted.

♡♡♡

Olu had invited you to join the crew for a surprise. Jim had speculated they were planning to kill you all off for being disturbed after sailing with Blackbeard. You thought it was a bit of a stretch, but you wouldn't put it last them either.

You were all guided below deck where the surprise was.

"You gotta close your 'cause it's a surprise." Olu says.

No one does that, everyone sceptical. Frenchie leads you all behind Olu. You find Pete and Wee John waiting.

"Ta da!"

Wee John moves to reveal the surprise.

The crew all jump and startle, hiding the knives they were all carrying behind their backs incase of an attack.

"Fuck!" Lucius sighs, jumpy enough already.

"Guys, it's called a pine-ata." Pete says.

"Yeah. So, you just pull this string and then--" Olu tries to explain.

"And then you hit it with a stick!" Pete demonstrates.

Everyone is triggered. PTSD from the storm, from Blackbeard.

"Time for blindfolding." Wee John tries.

"Stay the fuck sway from me!" Jim yells.

"You won't want to stay the fuck away from this came!" Roach says, brining the cake in.

You feel your stomach churn at the sight of it. It looks like the wedding cake...

"God's sake, take it away!" Fang screams.

You all draw your weapons. Yeah, even you. This is too much, too soon. This how it ends up at a stand off.

"One-half of this room has some serious emotional damage," Jim explains, holding Wee John in a choke hold. "And it's not us."

"Well, it's not us!" Wee John says back.

You have your knife pointing at Olu.

"Right, so, is everybody else's arms and various limbs getting tired?" Frenchie asks.

"Alright, look, look, look, look. I think there's actually an easier way to resolve this." Olu days, eyeing your knife. "Yes? Right. So you all think that we're plottin' against you?"

"Yeah," you nod.

"Which, in hindsight, maybe was inaccurate." Frenchie says. "I don't know, you tell me."

"Okay. So, can we all agree to just not jump the other crew and solve this as fuckin' adults?" Olu asks.

"You're saying this is like a space that is safe?" Jim asks him.

"Yeah, babe." Olu looks at them.

"I love that."

"A safe space."

"Yeah, okay."

You all lower your knives. You take a deep breath. Nearly lost your cool there.

"A lot has gone unsaid," Roach speaks. "I think now is a great time to discuss lingering issues."

"Yeah, yeah, absolutely." Archie nods. "Can we talk about the fucked-up sleeping arrangements?"

"Excuse me, do you even have a name, new guy?" Wee John asks her.

"Yeah, fuck you is her name." Jim starts, drawing their knife again.

"Hey, stupid name for a person," Roach draw his knife on Jim.

"You know my name is Archie," she point her weapon at Roach.

Everyone draws their weapons again. You sigh and point your knife at Olu again, but he doesn't sense any actual malice from you.

The sound of something thudding against the floor draws everyone's attention to the door. You turn and your heart skips a beat at the sight of Izzy. Two wooden legs at his feet.

"There! It's done!" He yells. "Maybe next time he'll think twice about not doing his fucking--" Izzy's peg leg breaks from under him as he raises his crutch and he falls harshly to the ground.

You gasp and drop your knife, hurrying over to him. He shrugs you off.

"Get off me! Fuck off!"

You sit there on your knees as he rolls over and starts crawling down the hall. Your heart breaks watching him.

"Leave me alone! I'm already gone." He mutters. He starts repeating a phrase over and over again. "You're born alone, you die alone. You're born alone, you die alone."

You can feel tears building up again. God, only Izzy could ever make you cry so much.

"Yeah, he's definitely more disturbed than any of us," Lucius says, watching Izzy go.

You try to hide your teary eyes as you get up and leave.

♡♡♡

You're sat up on deck with yours curled up wiping away the tears that were falling. If only you could get that stupid man to talk to you. You just wound to heal his internal wounds, and soothe his external wounds.

You don't hear the door open, but you do hear footsteps coming over. You turn your face away, but you know it's Fang who is now sitting beside you. He has one of the unicorn legs in his hand.

"You okay?" He asks softly. Fang was a soothing presence.

"Spectacular," you mutter.

He look down at the wooden leg and then back at you.

"We, uh, we had an idea for Izzy."

You wipe your eyes again. "Yeah?"

"We're gonna make him a new leg. You wanna help? It would sure mean a lot if you gave it to him after." Fang smiles.

"You want me to help?"

"I think Izzy would like that, don't you?"

You shrug quietly. "I don't know. He's not exactly talking to me right now."

"Aw, listen. He still loves you. He's just hurting, but maybe we can help. Let's do something good for him."

Fang offers you a small smile.

You find yourself smiling back. You reach over and take the leg from him. "Okay. Let me see what we can do."

Less than 30 minutes later the leg is being constructed, the crew are gathered to help. Fang constructs the leg into a strong, comfortable, and practical leg. Lucius had got some gold paint to add something that little bit extra.

You smile as you paint the leg.

"The gold was a gold touch."

Lucius smiles, happy he could help.

You leave the leg to dry and then Fang returns to your side with it. You sigh as you take it, looking it over.

"We sure it will do?" You ask.

"Its been measured and made just for Izzy. It will more than do. Oh don't forget the note." Fang holds out the parchment.

You take the leg and take the note.

"Right..."

"Just leave it outside his door if he doesn't want to talk. I can assure you he'll talk to you again soon."

You nod and make your way to Izzy's cabin.

♡♡♡

As you approach Izzy's door, you don't hear much. It's almost too quiet for your liking. You hover outside the door, the leg in hand. That's when you hear his voice. He's talking to someone.

"And you? What's your excuse?" You hear him say. You lean a little closer to listen, worried about him. "I mean, what even are you?"

You knock on the door hoping he'll answer.

"Fuck off." You hear him shout. You knock again firmly. "Fuck off!" He yells again.

You sigh. Telling him it was you probably wouldn't make a difference. You prop the leg up but the door, tucking the note and Marietta, Izzy's carved sparrow that you still had, into it.

You knock again and hurry away, disappearing down the hall.

"You are harassing a cripple! Fucking twats!" Izzy yells, no longer realising the person has gone from behind his door. He limps his way over and opens it, looking down the hall.

He sees no one.

His gaze drops down to the item waiting for him. He sees the note and the bird. He reads the note first, all emotion clogging up in his throat.

Those little shits.

He cries. Izzy covers his mouth as tears overwhelm him. He looks up down the hall, trying not to break down.

"Fucking cocksuckers."

He sees the sparrow and picks it up. It's then he realises you had been the one knocking. His finger close around the bird and the tears fall freely.

Shit. He's been really shit to you.

Izzy hold the sparrow against his chest and takes a few deep breaths. He grabs the leg and hobbles back inside his room.

♡♡♡

It's the early hours of the morning.

Izzy stands on deck with his new leg on. It's a good fit. Made really well. His hair is slicked back against his scalp, out of his face. His face is a little cleaner. No rum in sight.

In one hand he's clutching the ring he wears under his clothes, hanging from a string of twine. He smiles as he looks down at it.

In his other hand is the note. His eyes drift over to the words written on it. His heart feels full.

'For the new unicorn.'

Izzy smiles.

With the dawn of a new day comes a new Izzy. A healing Izzy.

He's going to be okay.

No. He'll be more than okay.

He just needs to talk to you first.

♡♡♡

The sun hasn't even risen yet when Izzy wakes you. You've been sleeping with the rest of the crew since Izzy stopped talking to you, so he had to be quiet when waking you. You're startled awake by something hitting your face again and again.

You wake up to find little balls of paper being thrown at you. You look up to see Izzy waving you over. You look at him confused. He wasn't talking to you befkre, and now he wants to?

That's when you notice the leg and your heart begins to race.

You climb out of bed and make your way out of the room, not waking a single person. You follow Izzy into his cabin and enter cautiously. He looks tidier, cleaner, more content.

"Izzy?"

He stands there and looks at you. There are several emotions flickering in his eyes, but he finds his words in no time.

"Thank you."

You stand there awkwardly. "I didn't do anything."

Izzy inhales loud enough for you to hear as he looks down at his leg, his hand resting over his thigh. "You did this."

"It was the crew's idea."

Izzy holds up the sparrow. "I noticed it was gone, but there was only one place it could be."

You nod your head softly.

Izzy puts the sparrow down and walks over to you, closing the distance between you both. You find your heart rate picking up as you look into those beautiful eyes of him.

"I love you," he whispers.

Just like that he's reaching out and kissing you. You're in his arms again. You return his kiss, having missed his lips. Having missed him. You reach out and take hold of him.

The kiss is hot, passionate, desperate. It's significance lies with the fact that you two spend all your time wanting each other, but when you're hurting, you don't reach out for one another.

You remove his scarf, taking the ring around it and carefully placing it down. It belonged to his mother and you know he would definitely curse you if you lost it. You begin to undress him, and he, you.

Clothes land on the floor. The soft thud of his wooden foot taps lightly on the floor as he moves you over to his bed.

Doing this right after the emotional rollercoaster you both has been through probably wasn't the best idea, but this time no one could stop you both, and this was long overdue.

You push Izzy down on the bed and take care of him, admiring him. You notice the other ring around his neck. You had seen it before, but it's origins you hadn't known. He was wearing it last time you did this too.

Still, your mind was focused on other things.

Safe to say, both of you are going to be a little late getting up tomorrow.

♡♡♡

@grippleback-galaxy - @askmarinaandothers - @godlikegallagher - @for-fuck-sake-im-alive - @whiskeyswriting - @lxsm2 - @bloody-bunni666 - @the-chocoholic-writer - @bugbugboy - @callmemana - @the-shenny-of-azkaban - @cool-ontherun-world - @outer-space-beech - @ahewi24 - @grace585 - @innertimemachinegirl - @dmitrytherat - @emilynissangtr -

[brigdh]

I was thinking more about how Stede doesn't really have an arc this season (see my previous criticism here), and I've decided that what I would have loved to see was Stede actively attempting to court Ed.

Now, we did get a little of this in the first few episodes: Stede's letters in 2x01 are great, I love his attempting to track Ed down via a crime-map in 2x02, and of course the "I'll never leave you. I'll never leave again" speech at the end of 2x03 is fantastic. But once Stede and Ed are both in the same location and conscious, there's really nothing. Stede just hangs around, waiting for Ed to figure himself out, or take the lead, or something, I don't know, but Stede's certainly doesn't take any action to progress their relationship himself. He's such a static character in the second half of S2.

But! Imagine instead the arc where Stede is actively trying to romance Ed! I don't need him to be good at it; it's probably a better character arc if he isn't, in fact. Maybe he comes on way too strong at first and this is why Ed asks him to slow down, until Ed can figure out what he's doing about his own guilt/violence/identity/daddy issues (maybe Ed can actually figure out something about his guilt/violence/identity/daddy issues). Maybe Stede's entire conception of romance comes from poetry and novels and it hits a hard skid when he tries it out in reality. Maybe there are cultural clashes between how pirates approach one another and how the landed upper class does it. The exact way Stede fails doesn't really matter, because the point is that Stede is trying something, and fucking it up, and trying again, and growing as he does so, learning more about what the relationship between him and Ed needs and who they are as people.

This also could have been a really interesting arc for Stede internally. Throw in a couple of flashbacks to Stede courting Mary, to make a parallel between how he acted then and how he's acting now with Ed. If it's beyond the budget to fly Claudia O'Doherty to New Zealand or she's busy or something, give Stede a random other lady or two he approached as a young man – ones who obviously refused to accept his hand. Excellent! Now there's even more weight to him getting it right this time with Ed, when he's never managed to get someone to like him before! Or give young Stede an intense friendship with another young man that went wrong, and back then he didn't understand, but now he can look back and be like, 'oh I guess that wasn't as platonic as I thought'. (Personally, this would be my favorite option, but I know Jenkins & co said they didn't want to write a coming-out story, so maybe they'd have been less interested in this one. Fine, but I want it! 🥳 ) I think you could do this without taking up a lot of screentime – I doubt all the scenes we got of Ed's childhood add up to five minutes in total, but we got plenty of information from those three glimpses.

It would also make sense for Stede to discuss the issue with the crew, which gives the show a chance to flesh out their role a little more, another thing the season could have used. If he asks Lucius, what Lucius responds and how he reacts could help to develop the Lucius/Pete relationship. Similarly, if Stede turned to Olu or Jim, we could have heard more about Jim/Archie or Olu/Zheng or any combination of the four. Or any of the crew! What kind of relationship advice does Frenchie give? Roach? This also could have intersected with Ed's redemption arc nicely: which are the crew are willing to put aside their anger at Ed to help Stede (and them doing so would give more credence to Izzy's speech about them being family and loving Ed at the end)? Who isn't willing, and tries to deliberately sabotage their relationship for revenge, and how do Stede and/or Ed react to that?

Overall, I think such an arc could have fit the show's themes of masculinity and toxicity really well. There's so much about dating and pick-up lines and romance that reflects on gender – there are expectations of who should be aggressive vs receptive, flowery vs crude, prudish vs too fast, gifts as a sign of love vs gifts as obligation... it's endless. Obviously the season wouldn't have time to explore all these angles, but I list them as a sign of how many directions they could have taken this topic in. Ultimately it all comes down to: Who does Stede want to be as a partner? And who does Ed want him to be? And that would be so strong as a direction to go in, even if we didn't get final answers to the questions! At least they would be asking them.

But instead we got a vision of a mermaid and never explored who Stede is in reality. :(

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

The Best Revenge Is Dressing Well: The Izzy Hands vs Lucius Spriggs B-Plot

i have been seeing. some Takes™ (derogatory). about this storyline. about this b-plot in e5. specifically, about how this storyline starts. i have seen people saying that lucius was slacking off. i have seen people saying that lucius is the one to escalates things in that first conversation with izzy. i have seen people saying that lucius deserved to get singled out.

i'm here to say that all those takes are wrong. and in case some of y'all haven't rewatched this scene in a while, i'm gonna do a line-by-line breakdown of that scene to explain why

But First, Let Me Set The Scene

in episode four, the crew is literally being held hostage by blackbeard. which means that blackbeard is in charge of everyone. which means that as blackbeard's first mate, izzy is also charge. in this scene specifically, where izzy is yelling at them for eating, the whole crew of the Revenge all straighten up and lower their heads when he enters the galley. their body language shows that they know they're supposed to be listening to him (not that they actually listen, mind you. but they know they're supposed to).

the thing that a lot of people seem to miss, though, is that by the end of the episode, the situation has changed. in episode five, the crew is not being held hostage by blackbeard.

they're getting job training from blackbeard.

this is different from being held hostage by blackbeard. technically, if you think about it, this situation makes blackbeard and his crew their guests. very honorable guests, of course! it's still blackbeard, obviously the crew don't want to do anything to piss him off. but he's not exactly in charge of everyone the way he was when they were his hostages.

(yes, i know that ed is planning to kill stede, which probably doesn't bode well for stede's crew. but they don't know that, and ed isn't going to act like that. he's just gonna give his masterclass in piracy lessons like nothing's wrong)

what i'm saying is that going into episode five, izzy is no longer in charge of giving the crew of the Revenge orders.

there's another piece to this, though. because presumably everything in this episode takes place over the same day. ed teaches them some pirate skills as they raid the french ship, then after the raid frenchie shows them the invitation to the fancy party that he found on that same french ship, then stede, ed, olu, and frenchie all go to the party, leaving everyone else back on the Revenge.

here's what i want to point out: ed and stede are most likely not around for any of the subplot with izzy and lucius this episode. when ed says they're going to the party, the very next scene is the one i'm going to dive into shortly, the one where lucius and pete get caught hooking up. and the scene right after that is ed, stede, frenchie, and olu all boarding the french party ship. we get four minutes of french party ship before cutting back to our b-plot, where lucius is getting lowered down the side of the ship to scrape off barnacles. if ed and stede are still on the ship when izzy finds lucius and pete, they’re probably busy getting ready for the party.

so, just a recap of the situation before i get into the scene that sets up this episode's b-plot:

blackbeard and his crew are guests on stede's ship

earlier in the morning, ed's crew ran a successful raid as a demonstration for stede's and his crew

after the raid, ed decides he's going to go to a fancy party with stede and two of stede's crew members

and here are some things that we can infer from these facts:

the Revenge isn't going to be sailing around anywhere, since they need to be nearby to pick up ed and the others after the party

the ship is well-stocked after the raid that morning

there's not actually anything that urgently needs doing. both of the captains are off the ship. for everyone left back on the Revenge, it looks like they have some nice downtime.

Breaking Down The "Ooh, Daddy" Scene

(indistinct chatter) (shushing) LUCIUS (whispers): Shut the-- Shut up. PETE: I'm, I'm trying to be quiet. LUCIUS: You good? PETE: I'm good.

so, the captains are getting ready for the party. lucius and pete were both present at the raid this morning. and they're hooking up in the galley while wee john takes a nap a few feet away.

"wow," you might be thinking, "i can't believe they would have sex in a public space like that! especially when they're at their job!"

consider this: they also live here. and aside from stede, olu, and jim, nobody on the ship has a room to themselves. if two crew members want to blow off some steam after a productive morning of attending Blackbeard's Pirate Masterclass, they don't have a room with a lock. there's not a ton of privacy. so they found a corner and tried to keep it down (and it really does seem like they probably tried to stay quiet while they were going at it).

another thing that's worth noticing is that pete and lucius are very clearly finishing up. they're standing up and straightening their clothes. and this is when izzy is walking into the room. he probably just walked in when they were finishing up just as a coincidence, but i've seen people suggest that he might've heard them earlier from outside and waited for them to be done. since i can't prove that this didn't happen, i'll be looking at this scene from both angles.

anyway. lucius and pete, having just finished hooking up, stand up and go to rejoin the rest of the crew. lucius turns around and sees this:

izzy, leaning against the door and staring at him intently as he sips a tin of Unidentified Beverage. and then we have this little interaction:

WEE JOHN: Oh, be a dear, and make me one of those, would ya? IZZY: No, shut up.

...during which Izzy only breaks eye contact for a few seconds. Idk how to make gifs so I'm just gonna describe it for you: Izzy begins to take a long sip from his drink and Wee John shifts, wakes up, and sees Izzy drinking something as Izzy's eyes are trained on Lucius, not moving. Wee John says, "Oh, be a dear, and make me one of those, would ya?" as Izzy drinks, eyes still trained on Lucius. Izzy lowers his drink and says, "No, shut up," and only as he gets to the word "up" does he turn his head to glare at Wee John. After a beat he looks back towards Lucius, and Wee John lays back down.

IZZY: Get back to work now, all of ya.

now, he says "all of ya," but he specifically is looking at lucius and pete when he says this. he's addressing wee john, sure, but john's not the one he's making eye contact with. this feels significant to me.

PETE: we are working... we just took stock of the rations LUCIUS: of the rations, yeah, and it turns out we are… (knocks) good. PETE: very good, actually.

interestingly enough, it's pete, not lucius, who first tries to make an excuse. lucius doesn't say anything at first, just adjusts his outfit, making eye contact with izzy as he does so. he agrees with pete's story, making a silly face and knocking on the barrel behind him, and his delivery is less hesitant, less "coming up with a halfhearted excuse in the middle of speaking" than pete. lucius only looks away from izzy when pete flirts very obviously, saying "very good, actually" in a tone and giving lucius's body a once-over. and i didn't get a screenshot of it, but lucius very quickly looks away (somewhere towards wee john's direction) with wide eyes and a shrug.

now. i know i said at the beginning that "all those takes are wrong," but i do actually know that interpretations are subjective. there are other ways to read these few seconds, but i would actually pin pete as the one being more insubordinate up to this point. he's the one who makes the very bad excuse despite how obvious it was what they were doing, and he's the one who blatantly flirts right in front of izzy.

WEE JOHN: Yeah, we all heard you. LUCIUS: Yeah, we love an audience.

so, as if there were any doubt, wee john confirms yet again that lucius and pete were just hooking up in the corner. both pete and wee john have acknowledged that fact more openly than lucius has. pete by openly flirting and giving lucius a whole once-over, wee john by basically just saying "yeah, you guys were pretty loud just now."

and lucius snaps back to wee john sarcastically, because of course he does. he's a sarcastic gay.

IZZY: Oh, I see. You think you're cute?

this is weird to me. this is incredibly weird to me.

the only thing lucius had said before the "we love an audience" bit was just going along with the lie that pete came up with. he didn't start off trying to make excuses, and he definitely wasn't doing anything to flaunt how cute he is. even his "we love an audience" isn't delivered cutely, he says it sarcastically like he's annoyed.

and yet, izzy puts down his mug and walks towards lucius. he delivers his "you think you're cute?" to lucius and only lucius. by absolutely no means is lucius the only one in the room who was "slacking off." pete was hooking up. wee john is asleep in a corner. nobody is working. but lucius gives one snarky line and izzy is already targeting lucius specifically. and lucius's snarky line wasn't even directed at izzy!!! he was talking to wee john!!!!

in my opinion, izzy singling lucius out at this point in the conversation is what started escalating things. suddenly, instead of izzy speaking to "all of ya," he is only talking to lucius. and for the fucking life of me, i cannot understand why that is.

(i mean, i can, but only from a perspective that is not flattering to izzy)

LUCIUS: Actually, I think I'm just so-so, but I've decided to carry myself like I'm cute. PETE: (laughs) Worked on me. IZZY: (chuckles) Ooh.

another iconic line from lucius spriggs, everyone.

this is the first time lucius directs anything that could reasonably considered snark towards izzy. and he says this line in a very joking way, smiling, and it gets pete to laugh (and flirt openly, again).

and then izzy laughs. and at first, lucius and pete keep smiling, like they're all laughing together.

IZZY: (forced giggling)

i genuinely feel like up until this point, the vibe in this room was very playful. wee john had asked izzy for a favor and just shrugged and gone back to sleep when told to shut up. pete halfheartedly lied and wholeheartedly flirted with lucius after being told to get back to work. lucius made a little quip about being so-so but having confidence, and when izzy started laughing along, lucius at first acted like izzy was being genuine.

like. i feel like izzy had a chance here to not try and throw his weight around and tell people what to do. he could've laughed it off and walked away, let wee john keep napping and let pete and lucius go do whatever they were gonna go do. but he didn't. maybe he felt like these three were being disrespectful, maybe he thought there were urgent tasks that needed to be done, or maybe he just likes telling people what to do. i dont know.

what i do know (despite how badly i wish i could forget) is what izzy does next:

IZZY: Ooh, ooh, Daddy. Daddy.

yeah.

he also. doesn't look away from lucius. once he starts saying daddy.

there are. two things that i think this could be about.

the first is if izzy, like us, only caught the tail end of lucius and pete hooking up. that means he's just saying this with no prompting. and the only reason i can think of for him moaning and saying "daddy" is because he thinks that's what lucius and pete's sex sounded like (and the way this came after lucius's "i carry myself like i'm cute!" and the way he made eye contact with lucius the whole time makes me feel like this is what he assumes lucius specifically sounds like during sex). and like, based on how he weirdly chose to single out lucius with his "you think you're cute?" line, this is not a nice imitation of lucius and pete. he's mocking them.

which, if i were pete and lucius, would make me feel very uncomfortable and violated.

the second possibility is if this izzy actually heard all of pete and lucius hooking up, and this was something he heard them actually say. which was not an option i thought of, but i saw someone else saying that this was izzy knowingly imitating the sounds of lucius and pete's sex, instead of just assuming he's imitating those sounds.

and if i were pete and lucius, this would make me feel even more uncomfortable and violated!!! there's no fucking privacy on this ship unless you're jim, olu, or stede, so there's zero doubt in my mind that everyone's kinks get aired out like dirty laundry. but someone making fun of those kinks is something else entirely!!!

either way, izzy makes everyone in the room uncomfortable.

idk, watching this scene, it looks like lucius is vaguely afraid. at the very least, he's uncomfortable and weirded out.

and i've realized that i've run out of images i can add to this post so the rest is just gonna be typed out:

IZZY: Your lot days of lyin' around doing fuck-all, it's through. You're all getting specific duties.

izzy shrugs off the awkwardness, looks at lucius for a moment, then shifts his gaze to pete and delivers his first sentence above. as he does so, he points his finger at lucius and pete, waving it between the two of them. when he gets to "you're all getting specific duties" he raises his voice and turns away, towards wee john's direction but not fully looking at him entirely.

LUCIUS: No thanks, Iggy. I only take orders from my Captain.

and now, twenty-nine images later, we get to where lucius "escalates" this conversation. frankly, i think the conversation was escalated when izzy said to lucius, "you think you're cute?" and it was definitely escalated even more by the "ooh, daddy" bit. lucius now feels very uncomfortable, and he lashes out.

remember: izzy is a guest. he's blackbeard's first mate, and blackbeard has chosen to stay on the ship as a guest and give the crew pirate lessons. like, i'm literally just going to link an old post i made about this line, because from lucius's perspective his bitchiness is so fucking warranted.

IZZY: My name is Mr. Hands, First Mate Hands, or God, as far as you're concerned. And I've got just the job for you... bitch. Follow me. LUCIUS: Yep, absolutely.

now, the thing with izzy is that he's not very creative and he's very bad at adapting to change or to new, unfamiliar situations. and ed sticking around a ship full of mediocre pirates to give them "job training" while secretly planning to murder their boss and steal his identity, which probably means most of these other pirates are gonna get killed or left for dead somewhere, is probably not a familiar situation for izzy. for him, the "uszh" is capturing ships in battle, making the crew repair the damage, and then executing the crew. so he's not used to a several days of job training with crews of weird misfit pirates.

so from izzy's perspective, i kinda get it. usually when he's hanging out on another ship like this, it's a literal invasion. he's used to barking orders at people and telling them what to do. he's used to hitting the backs of their heads when they're eating and he's used to telling people to get back to work. he's not used to taking other crews on raids like they're job shadowing him, and he's not used to being left behind on some other ship while his boss goes off to a fancy party with the captain of the ship he's stuck on.

i kinda get why his instinct here is "i'm fucking in charge here, who said they could have sex in their down time? why are they having fun, don't they know that blackbeard is planning to kill them all?" he's used to just bossing around the crews of ships they've taken over, not hanging out with them for a week.

i also think he specifically gets so nasty here and screams "bitch" in lucius's face because he tried to make fun of lucius and pete with the "ooh daddy" thing and ended up embarrassing himself. so when lucius called him iggy (justified, imo), izzy escalated that shit even further, stepping into lucius's space and practically spitting in his face when he called him a bitch. in his mind, he just embarrassed himself in front of some shitty pirates who are gonna die soon and don't even know it, and he wants to re-assert his dominance here. because god fucking damn it, he's in charge here. they don't know that technically it's still an invasion, but izzy doesn't know how to interact with a crew outside of that situation.

IZZY: Come on.

yeah and then we get izzy walking away without giving any specific duties to pete and wee john, just lucius. and lucius stays behind for a minute to talk to pete, then izzy screams "NOW" with a level of rage that feels really disproportionate to me, and then lucius runs after him and the scene ends.

maybe izzy was going to give “specific duties” to all three of them before lucius called him iggy. i don’t know. but we never see that happen, we only see izzy continue to seek out lucius for punishing tasks. the showrunners chose not to follow up on what pete and wee john did after the “ooh daddy” scene. and like, come up with whatever reasons you want for why that is. but izzy was already singling lucius out even before lucius finally snapped and “talked back” to izzy

In Conclusion

to recap:

in this episode, blackbeard is acting as a guest on the Revenge. he is giving them job training, but he is not functioning as their captor anymore

now that they're guests, izzy is no longer in charge of telling stede's crew what to do outside of "pirate lessons"

at the beginning of the episode they raid a french ship, which means they're all stocked up on supplies

stede and ed (aka the captains) are going to a party, leaving the rest of the crew with some down time

izzy does not know how to deal with down time on a ship that he has technically invaded and is technically still holding hostage, but he can't let them know he's holding them hostage

izzy especially does not know what to do with down time when his captain isn't there. he's in charge with no supervision. nobody is around to tell him to chill out

lucius and pete do not have a private place on the revenge to have sex during their down time

pete is the one to try and come up with an excuse for what they were doing

pete is the one to openly flirt with lucius in front of izzy

when izzy first singles lucius out, both pete and wee john have been more flippant about the sex than lucius

izzy's "ooh daddy" was an attempt to mock lucius, and it made everyone in the room incredibly uncomfortable

calling izzy "iggy" and being rude after the "ooh daddy” thing was incredibly valid from lucius's perspective

we do not see izzy give pete or wee john any tasks

and one more thing about this plotline that doesn't come up in this scene but is very important to understanding the situation:

nothing izzy makes lucius do actually needs to get done.

you don't need to know shit about boats to know this

all you need to know is that lucius doesn’t do any of what izzy told him to do, and we never see anyone else do any of what izzy tries to get him to do, and there are never repercussions for that.

the ship doesn't fall apart. they sail with no problem. everything with the boat is fine.

izzy was just bossing people around because that's all he knows how to do. and he singled lucius out specifically, for reasons i don't feel like arguing about right now.

and just to back myself up, that this is not about izzy making stede's lazy stupid crew do basic chores that need to get done and they're all bad pirates for slacking off, i present to you one of the screenshots from the DMs with alex sherman:

the sentence that gets cut off at the beginning is “These were supposed to show that Izzy is power-hungry but also just not that good with power.”

[somethings-coming-up]

STEDDYHANDS - SICK!IZZY FANFIC

Note: I really wasn't planning on just more OFMD fics and wanted to work on some OC stuff, but oops. TW: contains vomiting and a lot of language. Also there might be spelling errors, I typed this on Google Docs and it was being a little shit. I also work a graveyard office job and wrote this at like 4am so theres that too.

“I don't need the fucking tea. Leave me the fuck alone.” Izzy swatted away the herbal tea Roach had prepared for him and if looks could kill, the whole crew would have been slaughtered by now. 

Only Fang, who had known him the longest of them besides Blackbeard, had the courage to protest. He looked dejected and worried but stayed in his place beside Frenchie and Roach, his courage not strong enough to approach a fiesty Izzy. “Please let us help you? Please, Izzy? It's just… we already lost Ivan. I don't-” Fang looked down at his feet, but everyone knew what he wanted to say. I don't want to lose you too. 

It was barely noticeable, but Izzy’s expression softened--just a bit. “Fang, it's just a little fever. I ain't gonna die from it.” He looked off to the side, a slight snarl on his face. “But if it means that much to you, I'll drink the fucking tea.” Not so kindly, Izzy took the tea from Roach’s hand, taking a swig. He grimaced. “What the fuck is that?” he demanded.

“Medicine,” Roach explained like it was obvious. “For the fever and cough.”

“Thought you said it was fucking tea,” Izzy growled.

“The medicine is in the tea,” Fang told him. “You know, to help it go down.”

Izzy at this point, had enough of the gawking. There were eight pairs of eyes on him and that was eight too many. Just moments ago, Izzy had walked out of his quarters onto the deck, later than he usually did in the morning, and apparently his appearance gave him away that he felt like shit. Fang had approached him first, as Izzy leaned against the railing for support, which caught the attention of Lucius and Black Pete, and then Jim, Olu, Wee John, Frenchie, and Roach. Fang had done most of the mother henning, checking his forehead for a fever and apparently in the half-second he managed to make contact before Izzy swatted him away he was able to tell he felt warm. Izzy called bullshit, but it prompted Roach to bring back “tea” for him, and for everyone else to stand there like useless idiots just staring at him. “Okay, all of you, fuck off,” he demanded, but his sore throat prevented him from sounding as mean as he wanted to. He coughed wetly turning away from the crew and covering his mouth with his hand. He had to use the railing for support with his other. He felt a hand on his back and he didn’t care whose it was, he didn’t want it. He shrugged off the hand, stepping away from the offensive touch. “Leave me the fuck alone,” he said once he regained his breath. He turned around. It had been Lucius’ hand and it made him glare even more. 

“Is he always this mean when he's sick?” Lucius asked Fang. Like Izzy wasn't standing right fucking there. Izzy didn't say anything, but spit over the side of the rail. 

“Won't be long before he threatens to kill us all,” Fang answered. He turned his attention back to Izzy. He put his hand on his back and pat it lightly making Izzy glare at him. “But it's alright, Boss. We know you don't mean it. Gods, you just feel like hell, don't you? Probably didn't get too much sleep neither, aye?” 

Izzy ignored him, wordlessly handing him the cup of tea so he could fold his arms on the railing and rest his head on them. He didn't have the energy to brush off Fang at this point, and it was starting to become apparent it wouldn't make a difference. They couldn't care less he didn't want to be stared at or touched. This was a punishment. They were punishing him for being an asshole all this time and he supposed he deserved it. Either that, or his fever actually killed him last night and this was Hell. Izzy groaned at the thought. He didn't want to spend eternity with these losers, that would be miserable. Especially with them touching him and looking at him with pity. When Izzy’s stomach rolled, he blamed them. Their pity was literally making him fucking sick to his stomach. It wasn’t the fact that he had a sensitive stomach that acted up whenever he caught literally anything. Nope, it was them. He groaned again, and Fang’s hand continued to rub up and down his back.

“Stomach actin’ up, Boss?” Fang asked him. “His stomach always bothers him when he’s sick.” Izzy still had his head buried in his arms, but he could only imagine Fang addressed the crew with that statement, which was not appreciated in the slightest.

“Izzy the Spewer,” Lucius commented, but not in a mocking tone. It was more matter-of-fact, like the dumbass was proud he could put a simple two-and-two together. Izzy wanted to stab him. He did have his sword, and he could probably get him with it without even having to lift his head. Then again, his boss would probably be mad because it would upset his stupid boyfriend.

“Shut the fuck up,” Izzy said, but it didn’t come out as strong as he wanted to. Turns out, talking made his stomach feel worse, and he almost gagged at the end of his command. Almost. Shit, he really was going to puke in front of these idiots. He couldn’t do that, that would ruin whatever reputation he might have left. He took a few deep breaths, willing for his stomach to cooperate with him just this once.

“What are we all gathered ‘round here for?” No. Not him. Anyone but him. As if his stomach was just as repulsed by the sound of Stede Bonnet approaching, Izzy at that very second lifted his head, leaned over the side of the railing and puked up a mouthful of tea and water. He coughed and closed his eyes, pretending like the entire crew wasn’t there. He tried to go to his happy place, but that was impossible when he knew Stede Bonnet was right behind him. There’s no happy place in Hell, Izzy reminded himself. His stomach unfortunately wasn’t through with him either. He gagged unproductively twice, but the third retch brought up another mouthful of vomit. He wished he could do this a little quieter, spare him some of his dignity, but this was the way his stomach always was when it was upset--if it wanted something out, it would get it out, no matter how hard Izzy often had to work for it.

“Oh my,” he heard Stede say, and at this point Izzy just accepted that it would be easier to throw himself over the side of the ship than to kill them all. “Well this is no good.”

“What a stupid fucking-” Izzy’s comment was cut off by a dry heave that had him gripping the side of the ship tightly. He spit. “-thing to say.”

“Izzy’s sick,” Fang said, and Izzy wanted to roll his eyes. Stede was an idiot, but even an idiot could come to that conclusion themselves.

“Got a pretty bad fever,” Roach added.

“And it sounds like he’s drowning in his own fucking mucus,” Jim said.

“Looked like shit since first thing this morning,” was Lucius’ unhelpful contribution to the conversation.

“Oh, that won’t do at all,” Stede said, adding a soft tsk tsk tsk that made Izzy groan again. He didn’t want to be mothered by Bonnet. He would rather drown. He would rather be hanged. He would even rather lose his other leg. He heard the sound of heels clacking on the deck, and Izzy put his head in his arms again so he wouldn’t have to see Bonnet so much out of his peripheral vision as he approached him. He felt another hand on his back, joining Fang’s and this really was a punishment. Izzy suddenly wanted to apologize to all of them for being an asshole all the time. That they could do literally anything else to him that they wanted for payback, but not this. This was just… cruel. They were all hovering around him like worried twats, concern in their voices, pity in their eyes, and Izzy wanted to beg them to just let him walk the plank instead. His eyes welled up with tears, and he blamed it on his sinuses, his sore stomach, or literally everything else that wasn’t the whole crew focusing on him like this.

“Alright everyone,” Steve announced to the crew. “You all have jobs to do, your captain will take it from here. I’m sure Izzy doesn’t want an audience right now.”

Izzy heard the crew start to shuffle away, even Fang’s hand left his back. But Stede’s was still there, much to his displeasure. He wasn't sure what was worse--one Stede or the entire rest of the crew. It was a toss up, really. His stomach jolted again and he lifted his head up to spit over the side of the ship. Stede apparently took this as an invitation to do an assessment of his own. Stede pressed the back of his hand against his forehead, and then his cheek. The only reason Izzy didn't shove him away was because he was preoccupied with swallowing back dry heaves, and any motion wasn't going to help with that. 

“You do feel quite warm, Izzy,” Stede said. What a fucking genius. “Do you want me to get Ed?” 

Even the mention of the idea had Izzy retch up another mouthful of bile. Stede's hand moved to his waist, and he began stroking Izzy's side up and down, close to his belly. “No,” he wheezed once he started to get control over his body again. “I want you to fuck off. And Edward doesn't need to be bothered with this. I'm just gonna sleep this off in my own quarters if your highness is alright with that.” His stomach was finally calming down, but his chest rattled. He coughed harshly again and spat out pink-tinged phlegm over the side of the ship. 

Stede patted him on the back as he coughed. He let out a small sound of surprise when Izzy coughed up whatever was drowning his chest. “Oh, that doesn't look good at all.” Stede sounded genuinely concerned, and it pissed off Izzy even more. “Ed should know about this, he'd be rather upset if I didn't tell him you were so ill. But besides that, I would be much more comfortable if you slept somewhere where we can keep an eye on you.”

Izzy’s breath rattled as he retorted with a soft, “fuck off.” His chest didn’t just ache anymore, it burned. He put a hand to it and rubbed it. The fit had made him feel light-headed as well and he tightened his grip on the ship. His mouth tasted like metal, and he tried to push away thoughts of exactly what that meant. It was slowly dawning on him how ill he really was and he tried to supress the anxiety he felt. There was too much going on in his fevered, muddled brain and he swayed to the side, his grip loosening.

“I got you,” Stede said calmly. His tone had changed. He didn’t sound as arrogant or posh as he usually did. Izzy didn’t like it. “Shit, I’m gonna need some help here, Izzy. Okay?”

Izzy didn’t know what Stede was asking. Was he warning him that he’d have to get the others involved again? Was he asking him to help? If it was the latter, Stede was out of luck. Izzy was using what little strength he had left to keep himself from collapsing on the deck entirely. Then he heard Stede call out. He didn’t hear who he was calling out to. Then he couldn’t hear anything at all. His vision was swimming, his legs gave out completely, and the last thing he was even a little aware of was being slowly lowered to the floor. Then there was nothing.

*****************************

Izzy heard a moan. That was the first thing he was aware of again. The second thing he was aware of, was that it came from him. It was such a pitiful noise and he hated himself. He always hated himself a little, but he hated himself even more now for being so weak.

“Iz? Hey, Iz? Mate, you with me?”

Izzy opened his mouth to speak, but the words wouldn’t come out. He cleared his throat and licked his lips before trying again. “Piss off,” he rasped. He didn’t know who he was saying it to, but it meant it all the same.

“Yeah, that’s you, alright.” Izzy did know that voice. He knew that voice better than any voice. He opened his eyes slowly, his vision blurred at first so he blinked a few times. Surely enough, Ed was leaning over him, and much to Izzy’s disgust, his brown eyes were full of concern. “Passed out on deck, you stupid fuck.” There was no malice or critcism in Ed’s voice, just concerned. Izzy felt ashamed all the same. “Why do you do that, Iz? Why do you push yourself like that every time?”

“I dunno,” Izzy answered with a weak shrug, closing his eyes again. He didn’t have the energy to psychoanalyze himself and really contemplate his obsessive need to feel in control at all times and never display weakness in front of others. His shitty childhood? His desire to please Blackbeard at all times? Pick one.

Ed sighed. “Scared the hell out of me, mate. I was in here when I heard Stede yell for me. Thought someone had been thrown overboard, he sounded so panicked. Then I come out and see you on the bloody floor.”

It occurred to me Stede didn’t know where here was. He opened his eyes again and surveyed the room. He took note of how soft the surface was beneath him. The stupid books. He felt nauseous again. “Why am I in the captain’s cabin?” he asked. “I have a fucking room.”

“Oh, darling, I think you need eyes on you right now.” Stede fucking Bonnet’s voice sounded from off to the side. Before he could sit up to glare at him, Stede moved and stood before him beside Ed next to the bed. Izzy wanted to kill that man, and he had a better reason now too, seeing as he was the only one to actually witness him fainting like a fucking pansy.

“Don’t darling me,” Izzy growled. “And I don’t need eyes on me. Fuck off.”

“Iz,” Ed began softly, but there was a trace of warning in his tone. “You blacked out a day ago. It’s not been pretty since. Been in and out the whole time, but I don’t think you were really with us.”

A day ago? It felt like just a few hours. And he had no recollection of being in at all. He sniffed pridefully. “Whatever, you could’ve let me do that on my own.”

Stede’s face turned into a slight grimace. “You needed help coughing up some… stuff. Roach says there is fluid built up in your lungs. He also said you don’t go from perfectly fine to this state overnight. Have you been feeling ill?”

Izzy had felt like shit the last couple of days, and planned on keeping it to himself but he supposed that was out the window now. “Puked last night--or I guess the night before. Thought maybe it was just the sea. Throat hurt a bit, and I guess-” he stopped himself. “Why am I even explaining myself to you? It’s not your fucking business.”

“Well, you made it my business when you collapsed on my deck,” Stede countered.

Izzy snarled and started to try to sit himself up. It was hard. “Fine. Drop me off on a fucking island or some shit, and I’ll do it there. If that’s what it takes for you people to leave me the fuck alone.”

He felt a gentle hand in his hair. It was Stede’s. He was about to push it off of him, when Stede’s hand brushed his sweaty hair back from his face and then gently caressed down his cheek. His thumb stroked his temple back and forth softly. Izzy felt a bit of the tension fade away, and he relaxed into the bed. “Just calm down,” Stede said calmly. “I know you have to be feeling dreadful right now, so just relax for once in your life. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, but goodness, I don’t know why you’re making this so hard for everyone--most of all yourself.”

Izzy didn’t have a retort. Stede’s hand felt nice. He would never say that out loud, but he didn’t protest either or push him off, which he supposed is why Stede continued. He didn’t always hate Stede. Sometimes Stede was the only one who was nice to him. He thought back to when he was spiraling after Blackbeard shot him and he lost his leg. He had been emotionally drowning at the front of the ship, on his own, and the only person who checked on him was Stede. Izzy hand’t been nice about it, so maybe, just maybe, he didn’t have to act like such a bitch now. There was still this feeling deep down, an insecure stubbornnes--a defensiveness. One that always protected him--had his entire life. He tried to ignore it, but he couldn’t, and it’s what kept him from leaning into Stede’s touch or admitting that it was kind of nice to not be on his own right now.

“There you go, mate,” Ed said as he pat his leg. “I know this isn’t easy for you, but you’re doing a good job.”

Was he? Izzy still couldn’t let himself feel completely at ease. A small part of him wanted to run to the door and lock himself in his room by himself. Not that he’d be able to manage that in his current state, anyway. He sighed and closed his eyes again. “I don’t know why it’s so hard either,” he whispered. He never thought he’d admit something like that out loud and blamed it on his fever.

Stede kept stroking his hair. “You don’t owe us an explanation,” Stede repeated. “But it’s good you said something. Maybe that’s something we can work on, alright?”

Izzy just nodded. He kind of felt like he was going to cry, but hell would freeze over before he did that in front of Stede. Stede would probably just rub his back and stroke his head and tell him to let it out and that it was all going to be okay. Fucking disgusting. “Alright,” he said instead.

Stede smile and pulled his hand away, much to Izzy’s displeasure. He frowned, and Stede must’ve noticed. “Just give me a moment,” he said softly. Stede moved around the bed to the other side and slid in, lifting the blanket so he could get under the covers with Izzy. Izzy turned to glare at him, but instead he was met with Stede’s obnoxious, arrogant, knowing smile. “Come here,” he said, tone leaving no room for argument. He opened his arms and Izzy couldn’t believe this was happening.

“I really am in Hell,” he muttered to himself. He scooted closer to Stede, but still left a gap between them. It’s not that he was opposed to the idea, he just didn’t want Ed and Stede to know he wasn’t opposed to the idea. Stede got the hint, fucking mind reader, and closed the space between them. He wrapped his arms around Izzy and Izzy’s head sort of just naturally snuggled underneath his chin. It just fit there comfortably.

Stede began to stroke his hair again. “You gave me quite the fright yesterday. Well, not just me.”

“Yeah, yeah, Ed already guilt-tripped me about scaring the shit out of him.”

“Whole crew, mate,” Ed slipped into the bed too, on the other side of him. “They all told us to tell you to feel better. They were going to have Lucius write a get well card and all sign it but-”

“But they’re illiterate twats?” Izzy sniffed, trying to sound indifferent. “But that’s nice, I ‘spose. Thought that counts, and all that.”

Stede kissed the top of his head. “We’ll tell them thanks for you.”

“I didn’t fucking say that,” Izzy protested.

“We’ll tell them anyway,” Ed said. “But get some more rest, Iz. We’ll be here, alright? You’re not alone.”

Not alone, Izzy thought. The idea didn’t make him feel so anxious anymore. It made him feel… safe. He nuzzled into Stede’s neck because it was right there, so he might as well. He ignored the little “aww” that escaped Stede. Pushing your luck, Bonnet. He felt Ed’s arm wrap around his back and he closed his eyes. He didn’t know what it was going to be like once he was better, but he decided he would enjoy this for now. It was probably he most content he had ever felt.

[nicnacsnonsense]

The more I rewatch the first episode of OFMD, the less convinced I am that anyone besides Pete and maybe Roach actually wanted to commit mutiny (which, tbc is not the same thing as saying they were against the idea). Right off the bat, as Pete is trying to gear everyone up for mutiny, everyone seems to be largely ignoring him at first in favor of focusing on making their flags. But even once the conversation gets going, I just don’t get the vibe that this a group of people eager to see Stede dead. Running down the list:

Buttons: Obviously against

Oluwande: Obviously against

Pete: Obviously pro

Roach: Is probably pro? He does raise his hand when Pete is asking who’s with him, but he’s seems hesitant about it. Hard to say if that’s because he’s uncertain about committing mutiny, or if he’s just reluctant to *say* that he wants to commit mutiny.

Wee John: Votes pro mutiny, but is clearly primarily interested in setting things on fire. So in his case I would say it’s not that he wants commit a mutiny so much as he wants to commit arson and is not opposed to a mutiny as a way to make that happen.

Jim: Unclear, as they never say anything or give any indication one way or the other, though I’m inclined to think they’d just side with whatever Olu wanted to do.

The Swede: Totally unclear. He never expresses his opinion on the matter one way or the other. Him pointing out that Lucius reads may be him trying to shoot down Olu’s suggestion, but it could also just be a statement of fact. I ultimately land on probably doesn’t actively want to commit mutiny or he would have more obviously expressed support for the idea, but isn’t against it either.

Lucius: This is where we start to get into a deeper analysis territory and there’s a lot more interpretation going on. Lucius also votes pro, and he definitely seems to find Stede annoying, but at the same time Lucius character does not seem to be one of someone who would prefer to serve on a more traditional violent and bloodthirsty pirate ship. We know from episode 9 and the whole “strong reader/writer” thing that Lucius is willing to throw his lot in with a side he does not like to protect himself if need be, and also crucial here is that Lucius does not see the preceding conversation or the lackluster support that Pete is getting. It’s very possible that Lucius thought everyone else was more in favor of the mutiny than they actually were, and so also pretended to be more gungho about it than he actually was in order to make sure he didn’t get lumped in with Stede and caught in the fall out.

Frenchie: He doesn’t actually express an opinion one way or the other either, but I get the feeling he’s actually anti-mutiny (if for no other reason than he knows a cushy gig when he sees one), but just not strongly enough to voice that when he’s not sure where majority opinion is going to land. Because we do see a lot of little shows of support for Stede from Frenchie, “maybe Captain’s trying a new type of slow pirating” in particular is the first time anyone in the entire show defends Stede, and also when Pete is trying to rule everyone up into a mutiny, Frenchie’s comment is “mutiny or no, we’re going to need a scary flag.”

[dimity-lawn]

Did Izzy know why Ed wanted Lucius?

Izzy seems off in this scene, which is only fair, considering all that’s happened. He’s only one man, and he’s trying to juggle the fine dining tableware, tureens and all: managing a crew that hates him (their loyalty is always to one or both co-captains, but never to Izzy himself), running a ship (because Ed’s in no state to act as captain), manipulating Ed, and whatever other problems have arisen (the British navy, his unstable relationship with Ed under new stress from his betrayal and Stede’s presumed abandonment, &c.). Under such circumstances, it’s no surprise that Izzy’s “off his rhythm”.

But think of Izzy’s day to day life. He most likely managed the crew for Blackbeard somewhat frequently (if Ed’s been down, particularly easily distracted, or similar), he’s the one that Blackbeard would outsource “the big job” to, and, until Stede came along, he was the only person that knew Blackbeard well enough to even attempt to ride the roller coaster that was Ed’s Mental Health (even if he was having a negative impact). He acted as Ed’s task manager through years of ups, downs, and presumably there were other shipwrecks like the kraken incident. He’s survived years of fighting as Blackbeard’s Right Hand Man, fought the Spanish Navy, did business with the British Navy AND King George I by extension, and actually managed to get a pardon for Blackbeard.

No. Izzy’s too experienced to be this thrown off by such a thing. So why is he behaving so strangely?

Perhaps because Ed wanted Lucius. Of course we know that Ed wanted someone that knew how to write (limiting it to Lucius and Jim) so that someone could “jot down some lyrics”, but was Izzy aware of this? He knew that Lucius was the scribe aboard the Revenge (“shall I summon the boy to take notes?”), but consider the situation from Izzy’s point of view:

Izzy clearly hated Stede from the very beginning, and this hatred of Stede increased as Stede and Ed’s relationship progressed

After the night that Ed taught Stede some new sword fighting moves, Izzy misunderstood the relationship between Ed and Stede

Izzy believes that Stede “did something to my boss’s brain”, so at great personal risk, he made a deal with the British Navy (and King George I by extension) in order to “save” Ed by sending the British after Stede and getting a pardon for Ed

Then Ed decides to stay with Stede, even though it would mean going to war for the king

Izzy takes control of Izzy’s Revenge (aka the Revenge), but the crew mutinies and nearly kills him

Beardless and heartbroken, Ed shows up and saves Izzy at the last moment

by asking for TEA in his cabin

Ed’s so unwell that he won’t even leave the cabin

Ed may not have specified that he wanted Lucius to write down lyrics in order to try to get over Stede

Izzy knows that wants to be alone with Lucius

Izzy remembers when Lucius and Pete “took rations”

that Lucius drew Fang in the altogether

And this scene: IZZY: You're gonna swab the deck… twice. Then patch the mainsail, oil and rewick the cannons, then stack the munitions, and by the time you've done all that, I'll have several more chores for you. LUCIUS: And what if I don't? You're not my captain. IZZY: I could spill all your beans. You've been a proper little seductress, haven't you? Black Pete, Fang. Who else is there? LUCIUS: Hey, Pete? PETE: Yeah, love? LUCIUS: I drew Fang naked. PETE: (laughs) Nice. He's drawn most of us. LUCIUS; See? We don't own each other. Dizzy Izzy. Or is it… Izzy the Spewer? It'd be a shame if the entire crew learned about that nickname, wouldn't it? IZZY: Go now. LUCIUS: Have you ever been sketched?

Izzy probably thinks that there’s something going on between Ed and Lucius

He’d finally gotten rid of Stede and now things were worse, to the point that Ed won’t even leave the cabin, and now there’s (not) something going on between Ed and Lucius

———————————————————————

Now, all of the above I had written somewhere on my phone before we even knew the release date for season 2, and though Stede and Izzy now seem to be working together (at least to some extent), I still think that there could have been a misunderstanding on Izzy’s part in that scene.

[quietwings-fics]

shed your fears, your tears, your pride

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Fandom: Our Flag Means Death Ship: Gen (with minor stede/ed & pete/lucius, + implications of future stede/ed/izzy) Additional Tags: Israel Hands Lives, Post-Season/Series 02, Fix-It, Near Death Experiences, Families of Choice, Minor Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet, Minor Black Pete/Lucius Spriggs, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Israel Hands-centric, Pre-Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet/Israel Hands, Injury Recovery, Angst and Humor, Canon Disabled Character Wordcount: 1602 Summary:

Israel Hands is okay with dying. That doesn’t mean he should.

Izzy closes his eyes on the deck of the the Revenge, and he doesn’t expect to open them again.

So, it’s a bit of a shock when he does. There’s light unapologetically beating at his eyelids, turning his vision to dark red instead of black. He turns away from it, but can’t escape, only lay his cheek against something too soft. He scowls at it.

This must be Hell, then. Hell smells like Stede Bonnet. Figures.

He rolls his head the other way and slowly raises his heavy eyelids. There’s crud sticking to his eyelashes. He blinks a few times trying to knock it off. He groans as he takes in the world around him. Hell even *looks* like Bonnet’s cabin because his torture is never-ending, even in death. The devil is probably a blond, cheerful twat.

He tries to raise a hand to wipe his eyes off, but it comes up sluggishly and the movement sends pain radiating through his abdomen. He struggles to drag it up anyway, ignoring how much it hurts, until another hand falls on top of his own and lowers it back to the bed. “Could you stop doing that? You sound like a zombie.” Izzy growls in the back of his throat, but there’s a familiar weight behind the touch that stills him. He peers down at it as his vision sharpens to pick out the details of a spider tattoo.

“You aren’t supposed to be here,” he tells Ed.

“That’s rude. You were dying in my arms. You want me to wait outside and hope you’ll get better? What if you’d stopped breathing in the middle of the night, and I wasn’t-“ Izzy rolls his head to the side. Ed looks exhausted, even as he slows down and swallows. He pats Izzy’s wrist before drawing his hand away. Izzy strangles the tiny noise that wants to crawl out of his throat when he can’t feel Ed’s skin against his anymore.

“You’re supposed to be alive.” This is supposed to be Izzy’s afterlife. Who gave Ed the right to gatecrash? (Besides Izzy himself, in every way, for years and years.)

“I am.” Ed makes a sound that gets close to a laugh, pulls the crinkles around his eyes up the right way but doesn’t quite have the breath behind it to last. “And so are you. Not that you didn’t fight it, you… Izzy.” Izzy squints at him.

“I bled out,” he spits. Ed shrugs.

“You have a lot of blood.”

“I was shot.”

“Who hasn’t been? They got you on the left, no harm- A little harm done. Nothing unsalvageable.”

“I gave you a speech!” Izzy’s near shouting now, though Ed isn’t getting any louder to match him. His throat stings from at least a few days' disuse. It hurts getting the air in his lungs, but he struggles through anyway.

“And it was all very moving, mate, but you didn’t have to die to make a point,” Ed says. Izzy exhales painfully and lays flat back against the pillows again. His bullet wound is twinging. It nearly covers up the smell of the sheets, but there’s still that impossible to escape reminder of Bonnet lingering around. If Izzy could swat it out of the air, he would, but Ed’s right about one thing. Lifting his arm was a bad idea. Moving at all makes things worse.

“You didn’t need me anymore. I was ready to go.” Hell would be easier, he decides, than having to live, to see Ed’s face crumple when he says that before he can pick it up again.

“Who cares if I need you?” Izzy cares.

“The crew-“

“You’re part of the crew.” That shuts him up. He wants to say that he isn’t. He shouldn’t be. He belongs on the fringes, understanding they have something together that he can never be a part of, not really, but being willing to die to protect it for them. Not for himself. Just for them to have something good.

He’d been pretending that was still true since he’d sung for them. That was meant to be it, a moment in that warm glow for one last song before he was supposed to go back to his kennel.

“You know, what you said-“

“Please, don’t,” Izzy says miserably.

“Too late. Should have bled out faster if you didn’t want to have this conversation.”

“Believe me, I tried,” Izzy mutters.

“I’m glad you didn’t,” Ed says. “You would have died thinking this was all your fault, that you… made me into Blackbeard.”

“Didn’t I?”

“I fed you your own toes, Iz.” Ed grimaces. “The point is, Blackbeard was a two person operation. We made him, and we killed him together, sort of.” Ed reaches out, and Izzy watches his hand approach warily. His fingers brush the scar on Izzy’s forehead, a gentle back and forth along the first of two reminders that death won’t be getting its hands on Izzy any time soon. It still aches a little, like the pins and needles from where the leg he lost was, like he's sure he's going to feel in his gut for the rest of his life every time he moves a little too fast. But they're all only scars, or will be, and scars can be survived, outlived until they fade, not forgotten but quieter.

Ed’s still touching it when Bonnet tries to sneak in, poorly. He’s having a little difficulty between the creaking floorboards and the wooden leg he’s carrying. The hoof knocks against the doorway. Izzy glares at him, but he’s a little too tired for it to have the sting he wants behind it. It’s more like a greeting at this point, anyway. Some men shake hands, and some men look at each other like they’d try for murder at the first opportunity despite all evidence to the contrary.

Does he owe his life to Stede Bonnet now?

No. Absolutely not. He can’t go on like this.

“Um, hi,” Bonnet says. The hoof knocks into the wall again as he turns a little. “He’s awake. Good.”

“Fuck off, Bonnet,” Izzy says and hates with every fiber of his being that it sounds even a little bit endeared. He gives Bonnet a growl for good measure.

“Don’t mind him. Bark’s worse than his bite,” Ed says. He brushes his thumb over Izzy’s scar one last time before he turns to face his… What are they now? Still co-captains? Ed ran off, but he’s back now and Bonnet always leaves a spot empty beside him for his boyfriend. Ed smiles, and it isn’t even directed at Izzy but he still feels warm under its presence. He obviously lost more blood than they thought, not enough to go to his brain and keep him thinking straight. “You finished?”

“Well, we finished. A little scrub and touch-up from every part of the crew, and it’s good as new.” Bonnet presents the leg. It’s shinier than it was before. Polished.

“You bled all over your leg,” Ed confides in Izzy. “Totally ruined the paint job. I suggested we melt down some treasure, cover it in real gold, but apparently, that would be too heavy.”

“I need to use it to walk,” Izzy deadpans.

“I’m aware of that,” Ed says, with the voice of someone who definitely forgot that the leg had a practical use when he got caught up trying to decorate it. “I just wanted you to have something nice when you woke up.” Bonnet is approaching the bed. His bed. Fuck, they laid him up in- Did they even wash the sheets? Air them out a little? Izzy’s trying not to think about any of that.

The leg makes a clunk as Bonnet sets it down and takes a seat next to Ed. They both stare at him expectantly.

It makes Izzy uncomfortable.

“What?” he demands.

“Do you feel okay? Feverish? Any-“

“Fuck off, Bonnet.” Still with that awful charmed note in his voice. Someone make him stop sounding like that.

Stede laughs. Izzy turns his head back to the window in protest.

He can hear the waves rolling against the ship. He can hear footsteps thudding through wood far above their heads. He can, mostly, hear Stede talking now, and he just knows that if he looks back over at the two of them, Ed’s going to be wearing the most sickening, besotted expression Izzy has ever seen on anyone’s face.

And he’s going to have to live with that.

It’s… it’s not a terrible prospect, on the other side of a gut wound that didn’t take.

“-and we can finally go through with the wedding. The two of them have been driving us up the wall with the tiny details the longer we had to wait for you to-“ Stede is saying.

“Wedding?” Izzy interrupts.

“Of Lucius and Black Pete,” Stede says. “You didn’t think we’d go through with it without you?”

Ed coughs. He whispers, very badly because Izzy can hear him, he’s right there, to Stede, “I think he probably did.” Stede makes a noise a little like air escaping from a broken accordion.

“Don’t tell me you need me to walk someone down the aisle,” Izzy says.

“Actually, Lucius did-“ Stede starts up again, and he begins laying out everything about the wedding they’ve been planning while Izzy was unconscious.

Izzy can’t turn around to face them now. He’s got to get his damn face to stop smiling without him telling it to.

Cunts, all of them.

The kind Izzy would die for.

The kind that won’t let him.

[adzeisval]

Vigil

Sequel to Stranded and Emergency. Part one here. Part two here.

Lucius was exhausted. He sat in the shade and tried to eat and drink what Pete was handing to him and he really really wanted to take a nap but he was too worried. Ed had carried Izzy into the galley as fast as he could but Lucius wasn’t sure if anything could be done.

A while later they’d all heard Izzy cry out in pain. 

Everyone was quiet, they were all just sitting and waiting. Lucius didn’t want to hear Izzy cry in pain again. That wasn’t really what he was listening for though. If Izzy didn’t make it there Ed would probably cry loud enough for them all to hear. It made Lucius want to cry thinking about it. 

Finally Roach came out and Lucius held his breath. 

“Izzy’s alive, right now he’s stable, but he has a fight ahead of him,” Roach said. 

Lucius sighed in relief, “Can I see him?” 

“If you’re quiet, he needs to rest. Are you alright Lucius?” 

“I’m fine. Tired, but fine.” 

“Get some rest, then you can come see Izzy,” Roach said. Lucius wasn’t sure if he would be able to sleep, but knowing Izzy was doing well, and having Pete and Fang fuss over him he fell asleep and slept all evening and all night. 

Roach kept his word and let Lucius see Izzy in the morning. Izzy was lying slightly on his side cocooned in pillows and blankets. He looked so small, so fragile, curled up like that. He was still pale and his breathing was still labored but he didn’t look as close to death as when Lucius had last seen him.

Ed was sitting with Izzy, and looked like he had been there all night. 

“Is there anything I can do?” Lucius asked. 

“I don’t want to leave him just yet but when I do, we’re going to need someone to watch Izzy. You could help with that.”

“I will. I know Jim wants to help as well. We all do.” 

“I’m glad. I know he can be a pain in the ass,” Ed said, “And thank you, for comforting him on the island. I’m glad he wasn’t alone.” 

“I’m glad he made it.”

For the next month the entire crew focused on helping Izzy recover. They all took watches to make sure someone was with him at all times. 

The most critical time was just after the tube came out, but Izzy’s lung didn’t collapse again. Whatever injury caused the bleeding seemed to resolve itself. They were able to move Izzy to his room. 

Lucius sat beside Izzy’s bed. Izzy’s breathing was much less labored but it was still clear it hurt him. Izzy was fighting fever and infection. Lucius changed the cloth on his forehead several times. When Izzy would wake Lucius would try to get him to drink. Roach had provided a strong broth and fruit juice to help Izzy keep his strength up.

It still seemed so uncertain. 

“Was there something in particular?” Roach asked when Lucius voiced his concern. 

“No. I just thought it wouldn’t take so long. He still looks so weak. Still looks like he could die.” 

Roach sighed, “He could Lucius. I don’t think he will, I think he’ll pull through but in reality we still could lose him.” 

There was a night a week later where it seemed like Izzy might pass. His fever burned hot, his breathing seemed more labored again, and no one could wake him. Ed stayed by his side through the night. Lucius didn’t get much sleep. Jim was pacing around the ship in the dark. 

Izzy made it through the night. His fever broke a day later. Izzy got better every day. Izzy got to the point where he didn’t need someone with him all the time, but the crew still took shifts checking in on him. 

About a month after the incident Lucius went to Izzy’s room with breakfast and found Izzy up and dressed. 

“Morning Spriggs,” he said. 

“Izzy, it’s so good to see you up and about.” 

“Not sure how long I’ll be up, but I need to get out of this fucking room.” 

“I can imagine.” 

Izzy looked at him a moment, “Thank you Lucius. I’ll thank the rest of the crew as well. I…I didn’t think any of you would…” Izzy swallowed hard, tears coming to his eyes. 

“Care about you? We do Izzy. We might not get along all the time but No one wants you to die.” 

Izzy sighed, “You’re all gonna make me fucking cry.” 

“Probably,” Lucius said. 

“Just no fucking hugs. Don’t need to break any more ribs.” 

Lucius smiled, “No hugs. For now.” 

[izzy-b-hands]

"I think we just need to extinguish the lighthouse," Olu says gently. "So if either of you could...just blow out the flame?"

"I shouldn't have left," Stede takes a hold of Ed's hands.

"You didn't really," Ed shrugs. "I mean, physically you very much did, but...those loose ends from back home might have fucked things up for us. I mean people not knowing one hundred percent if you were dead or not, by the way, I'm not trying to call your kids and ex wife 'loose ends'-"

"It doesn't matter," Stede interrupts. "Things are cleaned up, and we-"

"Badminton's ship is still far enough off to run them straight into the rocks," Buttons interjects from the precarious crew huddle a few feet away. "If you snuff out the light now at least!"

"I don't think they're listening," Olu sighs. "Does anyone think they could climb past them to the light?"

A few hands hesitantly rise.

"Without falling off the lighthouse in the process."

Most of the hands go down.

Except Izzy and Jim.

"Absolutely not," Olu says. "Jim, I love you, so no. I'm not watching you fall to your death here!"

"What about watching me fall to my death elsewhere, later?" Jim asks.

"This is serious!" Olu says. "But sure. Only if I get to fall with you."

"This is almost as bad as the captains," Pete grumbles. "I'll do it!"

"It's a win win if I do it," Izzy notes. "For you all. I'll probably fall and Badminton will dash himself into the rocks. What more could you ask for?"

"You gotta fucking stop," Frenchie scoffs. "We are, at this point, in agreement with each other and all on the same team. No one has actively threatened you in at least a week. Chill."

There's a pause, and an unspoken pondering from everyone that had been marooned. What exactly had Frenchie and Izzy gone through during that time?

"Right," Izzy clears his throat awkwardly. "Sorry."

"How did you do that?" Olu asks. "Frenchie, how-"

"We bonded," Jim interrupts. "What? Don't any of you fucking look at me like that! It was...okay."

"Then it sort of turned into fun," Frenchie adds. "Aside from Ed...having a not so great time."

Izzy nods. "Did you guys know we all sing? All three of us."

Pete blinks. "I'm not against whatever is happening here, but...look, can we just kill this guy?"

"Nah," Lucius pushes by him. "Hey, if everyone could let me by, just. Scooch a little without falling off aaaand thank you!"

Further down the lighthouse top, Stede's shirt goes fluttering down to the ground.

"Oh," Olu watches it fly. "I think we missed them making u-cock is out. Okay. Well. Lucius, have you got this?"

"In more ways than one," Lucius replies. "First, I fucked Badminton Number 5. Please don't tell him I call him that; he has no idea. He's planning to run them into the rocks no matter what, so actually! We can let these two fuck up here-"

A moan interrupts him.

"Like that, yeah," Lucius continues. "Though I'd recommend going just down to the level below at least. You can't fall off anything there."

He turns and prods a bit of Stede. "Hey. I meant it. You can't fuck if you fall off of this thing."

There's an awkward rush down, to give the captains privacy, then an absolutely horrifying crack and crash of a ship on sharp rocks.

Lucius claps his hands together and grins. "Today is going even better than I'd hoped."

[offthefieldsmau]

⚽ 2.165

“It’s past eleven, you couldn’t have texted?” Lucius was certainly still up. 

Ed toweled off his hair from the post-workout shower and rolled his eyes, “Do you know how many Rings of Power there are?”

“What is this, a pop quiz?” Lucius sighed, “No, I don’t.”

“Stede does.” Ed sunk onto his bed, “He fucking did the math to figure out how many years Sauron had The Ring. He can probably recite the goddamn inscription perfectly—”

“And I bet that’s all very sexy to you.” This bitch, “The point, Edward.”

“The point is that this is his world, man. To start reading it again with his friends, only to find out it wasn’t genuine fucking hurts,” he didn’t have to tell Lucius this, but Ed needed to defend the integrity of the work!

It had nothing to do with Stede. Obviously.

“And when said friends don’t reach out to carry on reading the work you love— fuck,” Ed snapped himself out of rambling, “all I’m trying to say is that this is his fuckin’ turf, yeah? You can’t go on reading without him.”

Lucius held silence in a tight fist for far too long. Ed finally heard a sniffle on the other end of the line.

“Aw, man, I didn’t—” Ed wiped a hand down the front of his face, “Lucius, mate, don’t cry. It’s fine—” The ceiling fan above him spun casually, but the atmosphere of their phone call was anything but.

“Ed, it’s not,” some rustling on the other end of the line, “he isn’t returning my texts, or Pete’s, or— fuck, anyone’s!” He made a sound of minor anguish, “We— we didn’t just hurt him, we fucked up! Me, of all people—”

“Hey,” Ed kept his voice gentle, “however it went down, it’s nothing that can’t be fixed. I think…” Ed sighed, realizing what he was about to do, “I think I have an idea.” “Oh thank god.” The exasperation leaving Lucius’ system at the sigh of relief made Ed smile.