#the researcher comic will be done first HOPEFULLY TODAY

[mari-lair]

Christ that pole was close

FOR REAL LOOK AT THIS!!

I ended up starting a wip for both aus, cause I am mesmerized by how many votes the fresh-out-of-the-oven researcher got, the creature is still stumbling in his creation and everyone is already clapping. And ngl the love does inspire me, i got a lot of ideas for R! Siffrin now.

[dukku-of-catempty]

Linking my translation of Red Candle's interview yesterday here, also typed out below. I didn't translate everything, but hopefully it's enough for fans to get a glimpse of their game dev process. Interview vod here.

Ninesols was delayed twice. As their first try at a metroidvania, they found out there's a lot more to be done. Their first game play video was actually an accident. Someone clicked the wrong button on the obs and it became a live stream.

For the interview today, we have 2 of the 6 co-founders of redcandlegames, Henry and Vincent/4wei, plus the game play designer Lighty and Art designer Pege/XiaoHe.

Game Dev Process

Back then Yi was a head shorter, pretty close to Hollow Knight. Devs call it the "Hollow Cat era". It took them 1-2 years to progress from Hollow Cat to 2D Sekiro.

Q: You've already set such a high bar for game play (hollow knight, sekiro), why did you have the same high standard for art and story as well?

Henry:(points at Vincent) this is all him. I said, just focus on the game play! Then he decided to throw in the story

Vincent: I didn't set it out to be so dialogue heavy. But simple gameplay doesn't keep gamers playing, they have to be invested in the world to want to play more.

Vincent: I wanted to save budget so I thought, comics, they're simple enough. Turned out they were costly too. Pege got the other end of that. She drew all the in-game comics.

Pege: Comic works in that you can get up close to the characters and see the details, their expressions.

Their initial inspo for the artstyle was Akira... really reaching for the heights of everything

On the designing process:

Vincent: pacing comes first, whether it's story, combat, or the gaming experience

About 35mins in: Lighty explains the initial concept of TaoPunk

Vincent come up with keywords and Pege designs the character. For example, Goumang was "princess, tsundere", Lady Ethereal was based on "Zhuangzi and the butterfly dream".

40min, Pege explains the character designing process

Pege had the hardest time designing JieQuan. Girls are easier.

Vincent: he's the typical straight macho dude

MCs: what do you mean straight? All I see is 🌈

Vincent wanted there to be a low point for the gamer, since the first 3 bosses were relatively easy. He drew inspiration from Bloodborne and MGS, and JieQuan was born as Yi's tormentor.

Pege's favorite character is Ji, based on his character design and gender.

Vincent: I said Ji can be a they, but Pege insisted on him being male.

MC: So we can actually see stuff under his skirt

Henry: Yi had to struggle to not get flashed during the fight

Lighty also likes Ji best, because of his character. He likes his views as an immortal.

Henry also likes Ji best, because of his combat pattern. Out of all the bosses, his combat pattern is the only one thats entirely original. He wanted to make a 3rd stage.

Since all the characters came from Vincent, he doesn't have a favorite, but is impressed by how popular some of them are. Lady Ethereal's fight was actually the least costly. The platforming was a budget choice. Including the jumpscare, Ethereal was the easiest stage to make.

Vincent: Even the bgm. For Lady Ethereal, I didn't need to tell the composer what I want, they finished it perfectly.

Henry: This is a collaboration where everyone provides their expertise, and Lady Ethereal is an example of us working extremely in sync.

They ran out of time and funds at the research center, and were not entirely satisfied with it even when the game launched.

Solarian was based on Middle Chinese. Old Chinese sounds close to Vietnamese and is too hard for the VAs to pronounce. Vincent thinks since the game is sci-fi in ancient times, a new language is needed for immersion.

Everyone's stressed at the end of the project: it's been five years, and the game hadn't been tested by the mass public, so they weren't sure how it'd be received

Solarian language and Voiceover

Vincent: in Taiwanese we have checked tones, libiodentals, we digged deeper into these traits and referenced Taiwanese/Hokkien, Hakka, Cantonese and Middle Chinese for the Solarian language. Our Solarian expert, Sheng-Han Lin worked on it for 3 months. He even wrote a program where it converts a word into Solarian automatically, complete with KK phonetic symbols.

Basic Solarian words/phrases:

(Making these up, tone numbers are mandarin)

Bi³ Suen² = big brother

Shuai² In³ = Hello Friend

Why⁴ Song⁴ = Stop right there

Uen Zai² Chok = got it (I think?)

Ket Do³ = thank you

Vincent: first thing I said to the VAs was "sorry". Even after the recording process they still weren't sure what they were saying 😂

Many thanks to our voice director Neven Chang. It's the VAs performance that convinced me that Solarian is an actual language.

The Solarian characters came out of the need for there to be inscriptions on the background architectures, but modern Chinese characters breaks the immersion, so the art team came up with the idea to use the CangJie input method.

Vincent: initially we wanted to use the oracle bone script, but it's too time consuming, we needed something systemized. We do have our own Solarian font tho.

Solarian font has been dicephered here

Fan made font

Q&A section!

First question: are there plans for future nine sols DLCs?

Vincent: we still have a lot of work, like console ports and adding more languages, plus the crowndfund reawards... so currently we're looking to finish these first.

Vincent: as you know, we are a bunch of overachievers, so if there is a DLC, there's no telling how long we'll work on it... but atleast for me, I do hope to tell more stories in this world. That's all I'll say for now.

Q: will there be merch?

A: Yes, all the crowdfund rewards will also be sold as merch, like the art book and physical game pack, but at a higher price. Not the figure though, they're already finished, to make more we'll go bankrupt.

Unless, there's a really high demand for it 👀

Q: were there any additional plot you had to cut due to lack of resources?

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*SPOILERS

.

.

.

.

A: Chien's boss fight, Ji's 3rd phase, Yi fighting himself in Eigong's soul sanctum, a TianHuo last boss, Abacus was supposed to be Yi from the past, Kanghui, the dragon... we cut a lot

Vincent: There are two plotlines I stood my ground on: the revenge plot, and the relationship between Yi and Heng.

We actually changed Shuanshuan's story a lot. Initially he was supposed to be super energetic and run around all of New Kunlun.

Q: there are a lot of ways the player can fight in #ninesols, were you worried about it being too hard?

A: Yes. It's very parry focused, so if you can't parry, you're dead. The Story Mode was made out of this fear. But from the response we've got so far, it seems to be ok.

Vincent: the real problem is gamers having false expectations. Souls fans get frustrated with the parrying and combat fans get frustrated with the dialouges. So we have to let the gamers know, this isn't hollow knight, isn't Sekiro, this is Nine Sols.

Q: what do the lyrics in the bgm mean?

A: they are all really simple. Like "heroes are forged in agony". For Fuxi and Nuwa, their keyword was "Peony Pavilion", opera related, so the composer incorporated 牧虎關 into their battle bgm.

All #ninesols boss music was composed by @/FFXX_sound. 4-5 of the songs were recomposed after betaing. The boss fight in plumblossom village wasn't supposed to be this hard, but the bgm was too fire, so the team adjusted it.

Vincent: the composer could choose whether to use Solarian or Mandarin lyrics. I was there during recording. We got a talented Taiwanese men's choir to sing for us. Four professional singers singing "Huh! Hah! Heroes are forged in agony!" It looked ridiculous.

For the ending song, redcandle wanted to connect to the international audience, and Collage fit that perfectly. Plus our fans kept recommending them to us. Communication was smooth, apparently Natsuko is a gamer and really liked us.

Taopunk was a mix of Eastern and Western cultures, so it was decided early on that there would be English lyrics in the ED.

There was an ARG on discord where fans can uncover the ED bit by bit.

There are also plans for future interactive games like that

Q: what are some challenges for the EN locoalizatuon?

A: It was pretty smooth, we had a lot of help from our discrod server, including JP proofreading. Both EN and JP TL was actually done in a month before release. We just posted our beta dialougues and everyone came to help us.

Lady Ethereal used to be FuDie, but it sounds terrible in English, so she was renamed.

KangHui used to be GongGong, but it's too confusing to non mandarin speakers.

Eigong too, she used to be Yigong, Yi as in change, but players may mistake her to be related to Yi.

Solarian society trivia:

-they are a matriarchal society

-the average age of death is 140

-cats are evolved from Solarians

They are working on more languages, all of them EU ones. MC asked if there are plans for SEA languages. They say that'll require ppl fluent in these languages, since the other TL are mostly done by community members/fans.

2-3days after release, their text file was hacked. It's a Google doc, Lighty went on there and found someone typing Italian text there, all correct dialougues. They kicked them out then emailed the Italian.

The Italian : I'm just a player, I just want to help.

They translated pages of text, the team was terrified. Security breach!

the Italian said thank you to the team for being patient with them, cause they did the same thing with other games and got severe responses.

RedCandle: thanks but please don't ever do it again.

Q: are you satisfied with the response from non CN speaking players?

A: Yes. Most of the reviews we got were English. It's our goal anyway, to break the culture barrier.

There are of course some surprises.

MC: you mean the furries?

A: the amount of fanart was unexpected

Vincent: I was also surprised by the response we got on reddit. We actually realized our goal, so I was pretty happy with that.

Q: any plans for a new game?

they've worked on nine sols for 5 years already, pretty drained right now, so (as a team) theres no new content planned yet

And here comes the funniest part lol (clip)

Q: any plans for a new game?

Vincent: Having ideas for a new game is one thing, but we still--

(Thunder claps)

Vincent: 😱 Did I say the wrong thing? I'm sorry! OK? We'll start working on it!

Discussing the ending...

Devs consider the true ending a good ending. Its ok if life has no meaning, having lived is enough and all that.

And ED is Collage's take on the ending.

I'll end the thread here, though there are 30mins more to go. Many thank to Wenlobong for hosting the interview, and Red Candle for making the game! Really hope #ninesols will get more recognition

[doodleyfish2]

Devotional Acts For My Deities 9/24/21

Apollo

Took a shower

Did my laundry

Took out my garage

Did my #research

Practiced with my 🅱️ass

Worked on a lab report...and kind of enjoyed it 👀

Hermes

Got over my nerves to message some peeps

Got my 10,000 steps

Looked up the word of the day

Watched some funny videos

Dionysus

Hung out with a friend

Filtered my first batch of crystals!

Shared some of my soda

Messaged those peeps to make plans for tomorrow

Ares

Since I have plans now, I needed to get some home work done today. I am procrastination 🤣 But I powered through and got it dooone and it feels so good!

Listened/sang to some music to make myself feel better

Deleted my comic on Webtoon because I don't like how I portrayed Ares. Now I know, I was very wrong 😅

I feel a little overwhelmed having so many deities around. It's hard hard focus on so many at a time. I really didn't want do add another one, but Ares has been around for a little bit and seems to be the next fella I'm working with 🤷‍♀️ I'll definitely be needing his help tomorrow because I'm seeing my ex (possibly 2? AH) for the first time in over a year 👀 I'm planning on doing some meditating before I go 👀👀👀

Photos

I filtered out my first batch of crystals! Only the two 4-Nitros have crystalized, so there's more more come...hopefully! The first picture is definitely more crystally. The second one is more of a powder. But look at thaaat, they're both PURPLE! I thought they'd turn out blue! I hope Dionysus likes them 😁

The batch I worked on today hella failed...my stuff didn't dissolve at all, so no reaction happened. That's because I was doing the reaction in water...which is what I did last time when it didn't work. I'll have to start over and dissolve them in ethanol. I had a feeling that would happen, but prof told me to do it in water. Oh well 🤷‍♀️ I got to leave early which was nice because I got a lot of stuff done at my dorm.

The word of the day brought to you by dictionary.com

Lol, butte is such a funny sounding word 🤣

[mostlycompetentwriter]

“Maze of Memories” - A Phobia Sequel

F/M Pairing: OC x Bang Chan

Word Count: 1.8K

Warnings: Some violence, and mentions of drugs and alcohol.

Genre: Mafia AU; Sequel

Summary: Chan hated that his underground world of women, drugs, and alcohol threatened his family’s safety and well-being. But after yet another close call, he realizes that he finally needs to leave the Mafia world for good.

A/N: Hopefully, I tied up everything nicely with this AU!

Chan was paranoid, but he tried not to let it show too much.

Throughout the past few weeks, he had started to receive threatening letters in the mail concerning his wife and children. Under most circumstances, Chan would retaliate and have Jisung and Changbin find the culprit responsible, but he was unusually scared about this particular case. And maybe it was because he was protecting more than himself.

“You’re thinking about something,” his wife remarked, and he glanced at her while brushing his fingers through his hair.

It hadn’t been cut since the letters started arriving.

“Stressed,” Chan offered in return, and he turned onto his side so that he could rest his hand atop his wife’s stomach. “How are you feeling today?”

“Today was good,” she replied, and Chan was glad because the recent pregnancy symptoms had started to take their toll. Especially since their two-year-old daughter was still unable to grasp the idea that her parents might divide their attention with a future sibling.

“I have a meeting later,” Chan said, and his words were slightly slurred as he buried himself closer to the source of his wife’s sweet scent.

“Jisung told me earlier,” his wife said, and Chan had almost forgotten about Jisung’s impromptu visit that morning. But he was a regular mainstay in the house because he loved Chan’s daughter and he often spoiled her with gifts.

“Make sure the doors are locked when I’m gone,” Chan said, and he could sense his wife’s tension. 

“Is there something wrong?”

“Nothing I can’t handle,” Chan said, and he kept a protective arm wrapped around his wife in an act of reassurance that he would follow through on since he had once made a promise to always keep them safe from harm.

It was late when Changbin and Jisung met him at one of the loudest clubs in the downtown area. 

Chan was already annoyed by the pounding bass music which he could hear all the way from the street. But he was even more perturbed by the fact that he was hear at a club instead of next to his wife in bed. “It shouldn’t take long,” Jisung said as if he could read his thoughts.

“Who is this guy again?” Chan asked, following Changbin’s lead as he navigated their group through the treacherous dance floor and even further to the back of the club.

“He’s harmless,” Jisung said, snatching a flute of champagne from a passing waitress as the three friends sat together at their assigned section. “But he sells cheap booze.”

“Did you bring the contract?” Chan asked, and he rolled his eyes when Jisung plopped an expensive leather suitcase onto the table with a smirk.

“I’ve got everything covered, boss,” Jisung said with a teasing tone. “Mr. Kim should be here any moment.”

“Like you had everything covered last time with the case files?” Changbin chuckled, and Jisung shot him a glare, but any potential argument was broken upon the outlandish entrance of a man who looked like he had walked straight out of a Batman comic.

He wore an expensive suit, but the purple pants did no favors with the moss-green button-up that covered his torso. “Mr. Bang Chan,” Mr. Kim said when he was closer to their group. “It’s an honor to meet you.’

“Likewise,” Chan said, determined to skip the polite greetings.

“I can see you’re not a man who wastes time,” Mr. Kim remarked, and he sat down next to Jisung who already held the contract in his hand.

“Everything is ready for you to sign, Mr. Kim.”

“Slow down, gentleman,” Mr. Kim said, and he took a sip of his drink as he perused the complex verbiage of the contract. “I remember a time when your organization was notorious for spending weeks getting to know a client.”

“Time shouldn’t be wasted,” Changbin remarked, and he exchanged a quick look with Chan to let him know that he also sensed something unusual with this man.

“Oh, I quite like that,” Mr. Kim said, and he looked at Changbin thoughtfully. “Tell me, Mr. Seo, what are your plans for this contract?”

Changbin frowned. “Didn’t Jisung already explain everything?”

“But I want to make sure that we’re all on the same page,” Mr. Kim explained. “I would hate for there to be some discrepancies.”

“Like what?” Chan asked, and he usually knew better than to fall into such an obvious trap.

“Well,” Mr. Kim started, “For example, I heard a rumor that the three of you were planning to sell the Miroh organization off to someone else. Something about needing to settle down in the future.”

Chan bristled at the comment because that wasn’t supposed to be common knowledge. “Nothing has been decided.”

“I think I should know about it,” Mr. Kim continued. “After all, I like to understand my business partner’s motivations.”

“Our motivations are simple,” Chan growled. “We sign contracts with the clubs in the areas to help our own fortunes. We use these clubs to help our contacts when they need a place to meet.”

“Of course,” Mr. Kim agreed. “But if you sold the organization, then there’s no telling who might purchase it next!”

“We would research all possibilities,” Changbin contributed. “We’ve invested a lot of time and resources into its success.”

“Notably,” Mr. Kim said. “However, I can’t help but wonder-”

“You don’t have to sign,” Chan interrupted. “There’s nothing that we could do to stop you.”

“Oh, I’m signing Mr. Bang because I need the money,” Mr. Kim said. “But I’m advising you not to sell the organization.”

“You have no right to advise me about anything,” Chan sneered, and Mr. Kim shook his head like he was disappointed with the answer.

“I guess you leave me no choice,” Mr. Kim said, and he nodded to one of his men who immediately started walking towards the bar.

“What’s he doing?” Changbin asked, and there was a cold tension settling over the three men.

“Just making a call,” Mr. Kim replied. “I’ll probably pay the consequences tonight, Mr. Bang. But you’ll suffer even more.”

“What do you mean?” Chan growled, and he was reaching out for the collar of Mr. Kim’s suit jacket, holding him close so that he could see the amusement in his opponent’s gaze.

“You should get home to your wife and child,” Mr. Kim sneered. “Before it’s too late.”

But Chan didn’t need another reason to stand up from the table and end the meeting, giving Mr. Kim one last lingering glare before he left Changbin to deal with the messy clean-up.

Afterward, Jisung and Chan were speeding down the road, making phone calls to reach as many of their men as possible in the short distance that it would take to arrive at Chan’s house.

But the first thing Chan had done was contact his wofe:

“Sweetheart,” Chan had whispered into the phone when she answered the phone. “Take Ella and hide inside the secret room in the basement. Don’t say a word, and wait for me to give you the all-clear signal, do you understand?”

“Yes,” she had replied, but it broke Chan’s heart to hear the pain and fear in her tone, especially when he had also inadvertently listened to his daughter questioning why she had to leave her room so late at night.

“Are you good, man?” Jisung asked him when he hung up the phone, but Chan was anything but controlled. “Take it easy,” Jisung warned him. “We’re almost there.”

Chan knew that Jisung was right, and there was nothing else Chan could do until they reconvened together outside of his house. But it was still driving him mad, testing the limits of his patience. 

“Countdown inside your head,” Chan whispered to himself, trying to keep a hold on his volatile emotions.

10.

9.

8.

7.

6.

5.

4-

“CHAN!” Jisung shouted, and Chan opened his eyes right before the impact with the other vehicle which sent them spiraling down the road.

“Shit!” Chan cursed, but he realized that the impact wasn’t meant to kill them - it was only a deterrence to prevent his arrival home.

Subsequently, he watched as Jisung took out his gun and aimed it at the men in the other vehicle, firing off three shots in rapid succession. “Felix and Minho are almost there,” Jisung said after the attack, and he evacuated the shattered remains of the car before coming around to help Chan out of the passenger’s seat. “Are you hurt?”

“Just sore,” Chan replied, stretching out his arms before reaching back for his own weapon. “Let’s run.”

Jisung nodded, and the two men cautiously made their way down the narrow road leading to Chan’s private estate. Even from a distance, he could see the lights on inside the bedrooms, and there were unfamiliar cars surrounding the building. It was enough to get his adrenaline racing, and Chan was resisting the instinct to run ahead and find his wife and daughter.

But the risk of blowing their cover was too great, and Chan forced himself to stay hidden behind Jisung as they walked onto the front porch. “Minho’s around back,” Jisung commented, narrowing his eyes as he listened to something coming in from his ear piece. “There’s two men in the kitchen.”

“Take care of them,” Chan said. “I’m going to the basement.”

Jisung agreed, and Chan reared back to kick down the door before he and Jisung were rushing inside the house. 

“Hands up!” Jisung screamed when he parted from Chan at the staircase, and Chan could hear gunshots ringing in his ears as he kept moving his feet, trying to get his eyes to adjust to the darkness.

There were no sounds coming from the bottom of the basement, and Chan tried to control his breathing as he knelt down to flip on a light switch. Immediately, there a shot from an opponent who was standing next to the backdoor, but Chan was low enough to dodge the attack before returning firing successfully.

And once the other man had collapsed to the floor, Chan wasn’t hesitant in the slightest to knock four times on the door to the secret room in a careful pattern that he had rehearsed with his wife and daughter. “Daddy!” he heard Ella screech just seconds before she was launching herself into his arms.

And he held her close with an impossible strength.

“Channie,” his wife added, wrapping her arms around her stomach as she left the room with tears rimming red circles around her eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” Chan whispered, and he opened his arms even wider for his wife, keeping his family close as they all cherished one another in the aftermath of an incident that could’ve been far worse.

It was enough for Chan to realize that he was done with the Mafia world, and he would sell the Miroh organization and do his best to distance himself from the drugs and alcohol. Instead, he would give his family a better life - one that they deserved where their safety would never be questioned, and where his daughter and future child could grow up without ever worrying about the need to look over their shoulders.

It had been his life for so long, but he was surprised at how easy it was to give up everything for the people who had completely and utterly captured his heart.

[popculturebuffet]

The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck: The Last of the Clan McDuck!  Review “It Was Worth THE Dime”

This is one of my faviorite comic book stories of all time. Given i’m a massive comics nerd, for both books and strips, that is the highest praise I can give this wonderful, epic, beautifully drawn and deeply emotoinal story. I first discovered it in the local library that had the second volume, and found the rest online at a now long dead fan site. And while it took me longer than I care to admit to really dig into Duck Comics, and even now i’ve only scratched the surface, I can say without a doubt this story is the reason I’m so deeply attached to Scrooge as a character, and that I was excited as  I was for Ducktales 2017. This comic showed me just what Scrooge McDuck should be at his core as a character, and showed me what a wonderful character that is. So with all that glowing praise as you can guess i’ve been wanting to cover this for years, and even considered though back when I was more primarily a comic book reviewer last year. Any time i’ve reviewed stuff before now, i’ve considered it, and with Scrooge’s Sisters Hortense and Matilda presumably and definitely debuting on Ducktales soon, and it’s about damn time, the timing could not be better or clearer to dig into this utter triumph.  But before we can take a look at the story itself we naturally have to take a look at the man behind it: Writer and Artist Don Rosa. Don Rosa is easily one of the best Duck Comics writer out there, seen by many as only second to his own faviorite duck comics writer and God of Ducks, Carl Barks. For those 1 of you who do not know, Barks was the man who created pretty much everything in the duck universe comics wise and a bit in animation too: He created Daisy, Scrooge, Gladstone, Magica, The Beagle Boys, The Junior Woodchucks, Gyro, Little Bulb, Glomgold, Rockerduck, and the list goes on. While he didn’t make EVERY duck, he made so many that it’d be impossible to imagine either version of Ducktales being possible without him.  So of course Rosa was a fan and while he took up the family buisness, he was also an artist and duck comics fanboy on the side. So when, even if it meant a paycut, the opportunity to actually write and draw them came up, he lept at it and thus became one of their publishers go to guys, even if said publisher published the stories overseas where the Duck Comics are far more popular and still going to this day, and ironically where most duck comics printed nowadays get their stories from. Rosa was known for his meticous historical research and gorgeous art that he took his time drawing to get just perfect and showed on the page. The man has easily some of hte best and most detailed duck art around and I still haven’t found a duck artist that can match him.. and if you have or found one close i’d genuinely love to see that. He is a genuinely talented, spirited guy who was sadly mistreated by disney and that, coupled with tragically failing eyesight, eventually ended his career. He’s still around and I genuinely hope to meet him some day as he still does conventions.  The man is not without fault: I don’t get his hatred of superhero comics, as while I get them overshadowing funnybooks and that around the time of his career they were in decline, but it’s just as unfair to write off Superhero comics as mindless.  garbage as it is for people to write off the Duck Comics as “only for kids” and I genuinely wish he’d see that and see how the medium has evolved so much since then. I also grumble a bit as his refusal to allow anything besides barks into his bubble, and having to be forced to include fethry on the family tree, but that’s more personal preference. I like using as much material as you got. IT’s why i’ve wanted to, and hopefully will eventually get around to, write a sonic fanfic using bits of all the various universes that for legal, ken penders being an absolute waste of a human being, and sega being stupid reasons can’t be used anymore. I like taking everything in a franchise and putting it in a blender and it’s why I love the reboot. But there’s nothing wrong with taking things as is, not stepping on toes canon wise, but still being awesome. We’re just diffrent people and that’s okay.  And a lot of his fanboy showing actually lead to REALLY good things: Goldie O’Gilt was a one off character, and while used ocasoinally overseas, didn’t really pick up as a character again until a combination of Ducktales 87 and Rosa’s work with her, as he always loved the character, and fleshing her out lead to her being used more, and gaining a sizeable fandom. He also gained the Cablleros an even bigger fandom by giving them two stories of their own, and fleshing them out a bit more.  And this very comic is the peak of that, taking EVERY mention of scrooge’s past from various backstories to set up adventures, every tiny scrap, and to his credit going to both Barks Himself and various other Barks Experts Rosa was friends with to check his work, especially difficult given he likey had to find these stories in issue or pullt hem from disney archives, and complied it into one long epic that not only uses all this info effortlessly, but spins a compelling story that gives us a clear vision of what Scrooge should be, how he became the man he is, and how he lost himself only to find himself again with the help of three precocious boys and a cynical 30 something duck. So taint all bad is what i’m saying.  As for how this got started, thankfully rosa himself provided the origin story for this project in the back of the volume of his works that contained the first 7 chapters of life and times, as well as detailed notes for every chapter. At the time Rosa was working for Egmont, the big european publisher who handles Disney’s much larger european comics market, hence why most of his stories appeared years earlier in Europe before debuting here. The american publisher at the time , and an old friend of his, called Rosa with an idea: A 12 issue Maxi-Series focusing on Scrooge’s history, since at the time they were all the rage.. and really even today mini series are still a viable market and many indie titles just have several minis instead of an ongoing. So it wasn’t a bad idea, Rosa just simply offered a tweak: He’d tell his publisher at Egmont about the idea, and let her get a crack team of writers and artists to do this proper, and thus Disney could publish it for free once it was done and for no extra cost. Rosa gave his publisher a fax detaling both the idea and the fact that it needed to be done right, given to the best person possible, and done with the greatest care. She agreed.. and naturally handed it to him, as he admits he hoped. She made the right call, a legend was born and here we are.  One last bit before the read more and before I get to the first story itself at last: Since barks wrote a lot of side stories that fit into the canon, I COULD slot them in between chapters, but have instead chosen to review the original 12 part story as was, and do the various side stories and two epilogues, the utterly fantastic “Dream of a Life Time”, easiliy one of my faviorite comics ever, and the also really great “Letter From Home”, which will likely on some level be the basis for the upcoming at the time of this review “Battle for Castle McDuck!”, after completing the story. In other words i’m probably going to be at this for years. so join me under the read more won’t you as I begin the journey of a thousand miles with a single step as we look at the humble start of a legend. 

We begin, after a fun short teaser with present Day scrooge saying his past is no one’s buisness only to get hit with an oh yeah?,  with a scrap book title for the issue, something I want to bring up since while I got that’s what it was what I never got, and  must’ve glanced over when I first read rosa’s notes when I got this copy, was that it isn’t SCROOGE’S scrap book, but his sister Matilda’s who dutifully and happily catologued her brother’s adventures. It’s a really sweet moment.. and something that will hit VERY hard when we reach Chapter 11. If you haven’t read this story or heard of it.. .that’s this story’s equilvent of “Last Crash of the Sunchaser” and clearly Frank and Matt drew from that story a bit for it, but we can get more into the parallels when we get there. A smaller but fun note is that Rosa had specific coin drawing templates, for different indentions and what not he used, and used them for the coins in these intro bits. Yes he admitted he has a problem and yes that’s damn impressive anyway. 

It’s Scrooge’s 10th birthday, and his father Fergus has taken him up to see the family land, Dismal Downs to tell him of the mighty Clan McDuck and show him the ancestral lands, graveyards and Castle. He admits to having taken this long because the Clan McDuck currently lives in Glasgow so it’s kind of a long trip just to show your son “Hey look at the decay and rot that’s our ancestral homeland”. The Clan is on hard times, as a bad shipping deal, the backbone of a rather good barks story and I wont’ be interjecting for every barks reference as it’d get rather tiring though for what it’s worth Rosa provided tons of detailed footnotes in the back of each Fantagraphics collection, so good on him. Speaking of which though they do include 10 pages of Mc Duck family history that was supposed to open this story.. until Rosa’s editor wisely pointed out the story isn’t about them but scrooge and having read his roug draft, yeah.. there’s a good gag here and there, as well as “Dirty” Dingus McDuck, scrooge’s Grandpa and the reason Dewey is cursed with that middle name. Why anyone thought Dingus was a good name is beyond me, nor why Donald thought that was a good middle name back in 2009 is again, beyond me. Good on Don though for getting that past the censors.  But yeah with no money they can’t buy the land back and they were scared off it years ago by a mystical ghost dog, the hound of the whiskervilles. There is treasure in the castle, Sir Quackly’s gold, but he accidently sealed himself into a wall while sealing his treasure in there. Their interrupted by the town assholes, the Whiskervilles who have been grazing sheep on the land and are naturally behind the hound, using the sound of it to scare off Fergus once they realize he’s a McDuck. Because apparently you can keep a Scooby Doo style hoax up for Centuries if you don’t have meddling kids around. Who knew.  Back in Glasgow, we meet the rest of Scrooge’s family: His Uncle Jake, his sisters Matilda and Hortense, and his mother Downy. Jake hasn’t really been mentioned at all in Ducktales and I know next to nothing about him, which given I share a name with the guy you’d THINK I would. I mean I know a decent amount about this Jake. 

But nothing about who the hell Jake McDuck is or why he lives with his brother and his family. Here, you guys watch the dancing Jake, i’m going to probably do that for hours after this review is done, i’m going to go sort this out.  Okay one google and finding the Scrooge Mcduck wiki page on him, Jake shows up here likely because he was referenced in the story “A Christmas For Shacktown” and apparently borrowed from Scrooge and never paid it back. Otherwise.. there’s not a lot about him and unlike the rest of Scrooge’s family he really dosen’t do much that I can remember. Except like 2017 Scrooge, he apparently has become extremely long lived, as Scrooge and Donald STILL think he’s alive in the 1950′s.. and likely is STILL alive in some form in the Don Rosa stories, given his take place after Barks and thus in the 40′s and 50′s where Barks stories were set. Hence why unlike the Reboot, Scrooge isn’t inexpecilbly over 210. But Jake McDuck sure as heck is. Maybe this highlander is a highlander.. you know the movie and tv show type. Maybe someone cut off his head. That’s what i’m going with.

This does bring me to another point about this story: While Barks gave all of scrooge’s family their names, it’s where Rosa got them after all, it’s Rosa who really made them into characters. Fergus as a loving father ashamed his family legacy has fallen and wanting his son to do better than him, Downy as an equally loving wife and mother, Matilda as his sweet and caring sister and later her brother’s moral center, and Hortense.. well here she’s just a babbling baby but her character will become clear and glorious as we go. She is adorable here though and we do get some great bits with her.  Getting back to the plot now i’ve made my points, Jake is riled up wanting to understandably kick the Whiskerville’s asses with Scrooge, who even as a sweet innocent ten year old still has the family temper already, agreeing.. but Downy gently shoots them out pointing that two middle aged-ish men and a 10-year old just aren’t enough to fight an army of them and while she doesn’t mention it the fight would just tire them out for work and accomplish nothing as while it is the McDuck’s land the combination of the hound and the lack of money to move back means it’s pointless. She also mentions their younger brother Pothole, who went to America. This will be important later. 

Scrooge storms off and Fergus laments, in a scene that’s more painful the more I think about it, how his clan has fallen, with he and his brother lamenting their chances at glory are long gone.. but Fergus has hope his son can do better, and for his son’s birthday makes him a shoeshine kit in the hopes of inspiring him to greatness. This scene still resonates since many of us are poor, struggling and not doing so good money wise. I’m sure many parents have doubts and regrets about not being able to do more for their kid.

 Not only that but the story carefully avoids the trap of Fergus accidently being abusive by you know, pinning his family’s future on one 10 year old. While yes he is asking a lot of Scrooge, to restore their family name.. it’s very clear he mostly just wants his son to do better than him. Even if Scrooge was just slightly more successful, Fergus would likely be happy with that. He’s not using the legacy as a “This what you must be” like say the Gems in steven universe did for Steven with Rose’s Legacy, the kind where it sort of suffocates you till youc an make it your own. He’s just saying “this is what you can be” He believes his child can be great and simply once him to reach his full potetial and is simply giving him a means to hopefully do so, a simple home made shoe shine kit. While Jake scoffs, the narration notes the idea isn’t worth a dime.. it’s worth THE dime. The dime that would set Scrooge’s destiny in motion. 

The next morning, Fergus goes to check up on his son and his new buisness but Scroogey’s having no luck and about ready to just quit, the poor child. Also Matilda is dragging her baby sister around like a doll and it’s entirely precious as it is funny. 

But as for those Dorty Boots, Matilda wonders why her dad dosen’t just tell Scrooge that Burt the Ditch Digger is coming. Fergus tells her to quite and then explains his plan: he’s sending Burt to scrooge, with an American dime Fergus and Matilda found, to teach his son a lesson: By giving him a hard days work, he’ll teach him what hard work truly means.. and by having Burt “cheat” him with the American dime, it’ll give him the motivation to keep going and to nto be as wide eyed and trusting. It’s a well meaning if harsh lesson, and the kind you’d expect from 1900′s parenting and fits the origin well: Scrooge still earned his first money square, as he still did work.. but his getting cheated being a lesson dosen’t diminish what it taught scrooge, and helps flesh out what I talked about above, Fergus knowing his son has great potential he just needs inspiration to reach it. And instead of just telling him that he does a con job but it’s the 1900′s. This orign, and Fergus’ part in it would be entirely untouched in Ducktales 2017, the first scrooge based adaptation since this comic came out, and I bless them for it. Frank even said this comic was used as a bible by the writers and while theirs clear deviations, and we’ll get to that, they were mainly done for good reason, and it’s very clear that while scrooge’s history is very VERY diffrent in the reboot, the core of his past is still there. 

So the plan is on and young scrooge spends half an hour killing himself to get Burt’s shoes clean before getting his dime.. and realizing he’s been had, makes this proud decleration that will be the bedrock of his entire life and character. 

Scrooge being naturally stubborn as you can see takes his cheats a leson: There will always be hard honest work, and he will be there to do it and he’ll be tougher and sharper than anyone trying to cheat him out of his pay. Fergus’ plan has the intended effect, and Scrooge having learned a hard lesson now has the drive and determination we know him for. As for why it gives it to him.. I had to think on it a bit but it makes sense: For some a setback like this would make them quit.. for Scrooge it’s just proof he CAN find customers, he CAN do this job, or any at his hardest and instead takes this as a lesson to be prepared ot out think and outfight anyone who dares cheat him again, and to not earn his money by being the kind of guy who cheats a kid out of an honest days pay, but as a good honest duck like his father and his father before him. =He will make his money square so he can be the kind of person this seeming stranger SHOULD have been. Granted we’ll see Scrooge doesn’t end up as the best person at times but .. we’ll get there.  So with the fire inside turned from a spark into the flame Scrooge soon got to work, and by the next panel we see he’s eventually worked his stand up from a small box given to him by his dad, to a three seater shoeshining bench, who he wipes all at once by stretching one of his mother’s girldes over a light pole, a detail I didn’t get the first time around but now love. Naturally being a good kind boy much like his Nephews, Scrooge always gave his proud father a portion of his earnings, if with a full receipt for tax purposes. Because he’s still scrooge after all. His dad wonders he did too good a job while Hortense glxbit’s in agreement. 

As the years go on, a now tween Scrooge is eventually able to save up for a horse cart, and starts selling Fire Wood up in the city. He eventually realizes Peat, an earthy subtance found in bogs I only know about because I had to look it up for this review, is more profitable and with some snappy marketing moves into selling Peat for the rich instead, also showing the young lad already has a grasp of how to sell to obnoxious rich people. 

But while his business is booming, our young hero can’t resist visiting his family’s ancestral home and longing for it, hoping one day to have it for himself and in a nice show of how despite his temper and tenacity forged over the last few years he’s still at hear the kind, sweet optimistic lad he was just a few pages ago, he decides to tidy up the Clan’s Cemetary while he’s here. 

Unfortunately as proof that Donald and Della’s terrible luck comes from both sides of the family the Whiskervilles are sub-glomgold levels of human beings.. or Dogfaces in this case, and are digging up the McDuck Clan’s graves to hunt for treasure. Scrooge tries to simply do the smart thing and flee, but the asshole brigade catch sight of him and mistkaing him for a peat burgalar chase after him.. and spend WAY too much time and energy chasing a teenage boy over some fucking bog grass you clearly aren’t selling yourselves. I mean spare a thought for how dumb this is: They could easily sell of of that peat to put up a fence or chop down some trees to get the material if their really that concerned about someone getting in the bog. Then again this isn the 1800 and 1900′s where the child death toll was simply “Yes”, so they likely thought whose gonna notice one more dead child on our property?

Scrooge heads toward the castle and is gestured in by a friendly mystery duck who gladly shows him around and can tell he’s a McDuck just by look, showing the castle is still in glorious condition as the whiskervilles are too spooked to go in, hence why they didn’t chase Scrooge inside. I’d say being afraid of ghosts but not murdering a child is weird but these are the same guys who thought murdering a child was plan A. We’re not dealing with a brain trust is what i’m saying.  So the mystery duck shows Scroogey around, showing off some colorful stories about his ancestors recycled from that scrapped prologue I mentioned. THe mystery man, who brushes off Scrooge thinking he’s a McDuck asks Scrooge what he’s doing to restore the family glory and while Scrooge points out he’s already working on it, Mystery Duck points out he’s still missing something: He has the drive and the dream, but peat and shoeshining, while getting him good money for his family, aren’t the thing you can build a fortune or a future off of. He then points out where Scrooge’s dime comes from: America.. and that gives the boy the idea to head to the states. As for what he could possibly DO there to start, the mystery guy mentions his uncle pothole. So Scrooge has the dream, the drive.. and now a plan: Go to america, work for his uncle on the riverboats, and work his way up from there till he finds his fortune and restores his family name.  But while his future is settled, the present is still an issue and Scrooge wants to teach the child murder club a lesson and thus borrows, though MM wisely points out it’s all his property a horse and some armor, and stuffs the armor with peat. As for what his plan is.. welllll

That.. is fucking awesome. And far from the last fucking awesome moment in this thing. It also shows off even as not quite a teen yet, Scrooge is still a badass already, and while he doesn’t have his trademark strength or fighting skills quite yet, his ingenuity is already there.. and that will always trump both. The Whiskervilles run away and into some quicksand and Scrooge vows to return one day as laird and reclaim his family land. But that’s a story for a few chapters down the line. As for who the mystery duck is, he’s naturally Sir Quackely himself, or rather his ghost, who was simply guiding Scrooge and didn’t give him the treasure as simply handing him the money wouldnn’t restore their family’s good name or continue their bloodline now would it? 

For now Scrooge returns to work for a bit before finding his way to America: A cattleboat to New Orleans looking for a Cabin Boy. And so Scrooge bids farewell to his family. His Dad, feeling bad he can’t even give his boy shilling, gives him the family pocketwatch with jake pitching in with the family gold dentures. While Scrooge naturally refuses to sell the watch, he does plan to sell the teeth as soon as possible for good reason. We then get some sweet goodbyes with him, his sisters (With hortense uttering her first words to everyone’s astonishment) and loving mother as he wonders just what awaits him in America. 

And there he stands on the bow of a ship, heading for a new land, in New Orleans he can be a new man. And we’ll see just what kind of man he becomes as this series continues. For now this is the end of a chapter but the beginning of a lifetime. 

Final Thoughts on Last of the Clan McDuck:

This story is excellent. While there are even better chapters to come, this one is still one of the most memorable and most joyous, showing just how Scrooge became what he is, where some of his values come from, others will be instilled along the way , and beginning to flesh out his family. We see Scrooge’s love of wealth comes from starting from the bottom, growing up with a family that barely had anything and badly needed everything, but was loving and instilled fine morals in him. We also see a Scrooge far removed from the bitter old man he is in present day, an optimistic naïve young lad who only wants best for his family. It’s a nice stark contrast to who he’ll become, good and bad, and a nice way to both compare him to Huey Dewey and Louie and break your heart as his own hardens before briefly turning black later on.  The art, as is standard for this series and Rosa, is breathtaking, and the story isn’t lacking in good jokes, their just downplayed so the story itself can take center stage. There’s nothing really more to say: it’s an excellent start to an even more excellent tale and stands proud among an already stellar story as one of it’s finest outings. 

NEXT RAINBOW: Scrooge goes down to the mighty Missipi to work on the riverboats and meets one of his signature Rogue’s for the first time in their first form, as well as Gyro’s dad.. or grandpa.. or possibly both I don’t know his family tree. Point is, tune in next time for some riverboat hyjinks.  Until then if you’d like to comission an episode of any animated show, especially ducktales and the various other duck related disney shows, or another Duck Comics story you really like from Rosa, Barks or whoever you want really, I take commissions for 5 dollars a review, with 5 dollars off your full order when you put in for more than one episode or issue. You can also follow me on patreon.com/popculturebuffet and for just two bucks a month get access to polls (which i’ll start once we have at least three patreons), and my exclusive discord server. And if you liked this review be sure to reblog it to show off. My self promotion done until next time: There’s always another rainbow. 

[oof-musicals]

Together, you and me//chapter 2

Part two! This one took a bit because I've been preparing for school stuff but here it is! I've never been to Vermont, it's only research. Of course, let me know if you want to be added to the tag list and here it is:]] it's also very dialogue-heavy and kinda rushed whoops.

Tag list (let me know if you'd like to be added): @tarantulas4davey, @racecrack-higgins

Race gets bored very easily and two people trying to sleep in the backseat in a car isn't the best idea. First stop: Vermont.

Aka: Albert loves Race in 1419 words.

Word count: 1419

Read on Ao3

**Please Reblog/Queue if you like**

If you told Anthony Higgins five years ago that he'd be traveling to all 50 states with his boyfriend, he'd probably tell you that'd be something he'd do. But when he thought about it, this was probably the most expensive risk he's taken in a while.

Also the longest.

He knew it was going to take a long time, sure, this wasn't England where it took five hours to get from coast to coast. They were going to spend a lot of time in the car. But it sounded easier to be in a car for days at a time in theory rather than in practice.

Vermont, luckily, was only around 5 and a half hours away from Manhattan. If they avoided making too many stops, they could make it there by eight-fifty.

It took Race until about four pm to start complaining.

"It's only been 30 minutes, you'll live," Albert rolled his eyes in response to Race’s whining. “You aren’t even the one driving.”

“Exactly Albie!” Race complained, crossing one of his legs over the other. “I have nothing to do.”

Albert stifled a groan and turned off the radio that had been playing 90s songs for the past half hour. "Okay, let's just, talk."

Race looked out the window. "I don't really know what to talk about."

"You're really annoying,"

"That's my job." Race winked.

“What about astronomy? Where are your star facts?” Albert suggested as he changed lanes. “Come on, I miss them.”

“Fine, you win.” Race groaned. “There are nine thousand and ninety-six stars visible to the naked eye in the entire sky. That’s a cool fact.”

“I thought you told me it was like a trillion before,” Albert questioned.

"That's galaxies," Race clarified, but decided to move on. "Uh, what else? Oh! Callisto, the pretty moon I showed you once is ninety-nine percent as big as Mercury is." He grabbed a notebook from his backpack, flipping through pages of detailed notes and mumbling softly. “The first supernova was recorded in 145 AD AND nearly 2000 years after that, the remains were still identified.”

The rest of the ride consisted of Race rambling on about astrology and Albert loving every second of it. He might have the whiniest boyfriend in the world, but oh did he love this idiot.

___________

As the car pulled into the rest stop 4 and a half hours later, Race let out a comically loud yawn.

"Tired, huh?" Albert joked, turning the gear into park and unbuckling his seatbelt.

"You might be the one driving, but that doesn't mean it's not exhausting to be in a car for 5 hours." Race remarked.

"You could drive.”

Race ignored him, unbuckling his seatbelt and grabbing sweatpants from the backseat. “Do you really think that is a good idea?”

“Absolutely not, actually.”

Ten minutes and a never-ending banter later, the two found themselves laying down in the backseat. Race on the edge, Albert with his back facing the seat. It wasn’t the most comfortable, but if they’re going to control their budget, they can’t spend every night in a hotel.

“And tomorrow, we can hopefully hike that Antone Mountian,” Albert rambled about their day tomorrow while Race hummed sleepily. “But now, you’re around one sentence away from passing out, so we can talk about it later.”

"Yeah,” Race yawned, giving Albert a kiss on the cheek. “Goodnight Albie."

"Goodnight, T."

"I love you."

Albert smiled, his stomach still did a flip every time Race uttered those three words. He doesn't really know why he felt like a giddy teenager, considering he's in his mid-twenties, but the words never failed to make him feel just, so lucky. "I love you too."

Albert stayed up a little bit after Race closed his eyes. Not that he had any trouble sleeping, he could practically fall asleep anywhere he wanted. Race didn’t have the same advantage, even at home, where he was probably the most comfortable, he had trouble falling and staying asleep. It was only going to be more challenging in the backseat of a sedan with half of the space being filled with an ungodly amount of snacks.

It was really hard to find a position comfortable for the both of them. They could've really done without the snacks but Race insisted. If there was one thing Race was, it was persistent.

This was going to be a long trip. But if Albert was with Race, he’d do it a thousand times.

_____

Turns out, two people sleeping in the back of a sedan is not a foolproof plan. They found that out the hard way. Well, Race found it out the hard way - Albert didn't find out until the morning.

"Wake up," Race poked Albert in the side, resulting in Albert only groaning and slowly opening his eyes. It couldn't have been past 8 am, the sun was still rising. Why in the world was he being woken up this early?

"What are you doing up? You've never woken up early in your life." He asked, pushing himself up into a sitting position.

"Fell off the seat," Race grumbled, taking a seat next to Albert, leaning his head on his boyfriend's shoulder. "I've been trying to fall back asleep since like… four am? The sun came up and you were taking too long to wake up."

"'m sorry," Albert yawned. It was way too early to be up for someone who had to spend the day hiking mountains, that's for sure. He was going to need some coffee. Coffee sounded real nice right now. "What time is it now?"

"What am I a clock? I don't know."

"You are rude when you're sleep-deprived." Albert grabbed his phone, checking the time before setting an alarm. "It's 7:15. I say, we go back to sleep for two hours and then start out the day."

"You're sleeping on the edge this time."

Albert ignored Race's comment, slipping his arm under the pillow propped up against the blankets, one of which he took and tossed over his eyes to avoid the sun.

__

Race hated hiking. If that's one thing he decided today, it's that.

When he thought about it, the trail wasn't that bad, it really wasn't. And the view was probably beautiful, but hiking sucked.

"Maybe this hiking thing was a mistake. My legs hurt."

"You're dramatic," Albert called from up ahead. "Come on track star, you got this!"

"You've never been hiking before," Race jogged up to Albert. "I'm surprised you aren't dying right now."

"We walk around New York every day." Albert rolled his eyes "You shouldn't be dying."

Race "I hate you. So much." He said, tripping and nearly slipping off the trail.

"Don't fall off the trail there, Tones." Albert grabbed Race's arm, pulling him up. "Heard mountain lions like blonde idiots."

"Duly noted." Race replied sarcastically. "Don't think there are any mountain lions in this area though, wouldn't they have already gotten to me?"

"You're right."

"Well!" Race wrapped his arm around Albert, "Guess you're stuck with me."

"Shit, guess that's the worst-case scenario for me."

Race rolled his eyes and stopped complaining for most of the hike. And he was right, the view was pretty - breathtaking even. The rolling hills and never-ending trees… this was definitely worth the hike. This was definitely worth the trip. For all Race complained, he was having a great time.

__

"So!" Albert started the car, "Vermont, what'd you think?"

"I mean, I'm looking forward to other places. South Dakota has Mount Rushmore - which, no matter how many times you say, is cooler than the photos, I'm sure of it. Vermont just has mountains," Race adjusted the air conditioning, "but I didn't have the worst time."

"Mount Rushmore is just like the photos though," Albert rolled his eyes. "And if you don't want to go to states just for mountains, you didn't have to agree to go to every state."

"Albie, we've been dating for six years, you think I was going to not take it seriously?"

"I guess you're right, T. But if you keep complaining I'm not taking you on a road trip again."

"Rude," Race pouted.

"Only love, baby."

“But, I did like it.” Race admitted. “For all my complaining, I’m having a great time.” He took Albert’s hand, “Not to get sappy or anything but, thank you for bringing me along on this trip.”

Albert didn’t even have to say ‘I love you’ at that moment, Race already could tell.

[opbackgrounds]

As many of you noticed, the other day I posted Part 1 in what has become a series on my thoughts on sexism in One Piece. If you are somehow seeing this post first, I would recommend clicking the link as I’ll be adding to the foundation I built there. 

I already had some pretty strong thoughts on this topic before receiving the original ask, but in the spirit of not wanting to sound like a douche academic integrity I decided to do a little cursory research into what other people meant when they said that One Piece is sexist. Here’s a collage of some of my favorite hot takes

As much as I’m...confused? Unsurprised yet somehow disappointed?...I don’t want to mock or belittle the people who feel this way. I think one of the most dangerous things in our modern internet age is that discussions only get surface deep before they devolve into shouting matches, and when the other side is vilified as ignorant or immoral or whatever it only serves to divide people into groups that grow evermore hostile to one another as the shouting matches get louder. It’s a short jump from your opinions are stupid and bad to you are stupid and bad for having them and I really don’t want to go there. 

Tl; dr: I don’t care if you disagree with anything I’m about to say, but if you send me harassing messages please know that I will laugh at you for presuming to think that I care.

Dropping the S Bomb

So first things first, a couple definitions. Sexism is prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination against a certain gender, in this case women. Chauvinism is excessive or prejudiced support for one's own cause, group, or sex. Misogyny is dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.

I start with definitions, because there are an astounding number of people who misuse these terms when making arguments. When talking about things like character design, Oda’s typical hour-glass figure is leaning into a stereotype that leads to the objectification of (fictional) women. An argument could be made that One Piece is sexist in that way. 

But it’s not that cut and dry, and I am always of the opinion that context matters. I argued in my previous post that there would be a wider variety of female character designs if there were more women, and the exaggerated aesthetic of the series lends itself to the exaggerated busts and butts typical of One Piece ladies. 

There’s an interview that came out around the time Strong World was released that I think is helpful when talking about this sort of thing. 

I approached it thinking that since I’m drawing for a boys’ comic magazine, then it’s my job to make sure they enjoy what they’re reading. When you actually do become a professional you’ll start getting fan letters and other things and you’ll soon find that the overwhelming majority of them are from girls. Boys just aren’t the type to pick up a pen. (laughs) They don’t have things like stationary or stamps and they don’t think about going through the ‘grueling task’ of writing someone just to say, “That was cool.” Boys are a life form that enjoy something but won’t bother to tell you that they actually do.

So I learned that girls will flood you with their opinions and when I took at step back and looked at the world of manga, I realized that there are a lot of people out there that made me think, “This [author] is really just going along with the girls’ opinions.” And ultimately, if you’re considering those opinions as the ‘needs of the customer’ when you write the story, you’re just left with a girl’s manga. (laughs) It’s like, if you do that, you’re only writing to entertain girls, and that’s just wrong.

Oda writes for his target demographic, pre-teen and teenage boys. He doesn’t seem to care much for the opinions of his female audience, which again could be perceived as sexist.

And to an extent maybe it is, but I also think it’s smart. You only have to look at the mess that is the new Star Wars trilogy to see what happens when a storyteller tries to appease a fan base. The end result is that everyone goes home from the theatre miserable. 

Humanity has been telling stories since time immemorial. They’re so ingrained into into the collective psyche that we have developed certain metanarriatives, types, and archetypes that have in turn been refined and distilled and applied to certain types of stories meant for certain types of people. The “rules” for telling a “boy’s story” are different than the “rules” for telling a “girl’s story”, just like I would not expect a romance to be told in the same way as one of Shonen Jump’s battle manga.

Incidentally, this is part of the reason why I think many romances in shonen fall flat. Stories best suited for fighting, camaraderie, coming of age, and growing into the best version of yourself are forced to try to include tropes and story beats that just don’t fit, and the end result is often just...bad.  

And, yes, these rules are arbitrary. They can and do change. Just look at shonen battle manga of the 80s vs the titles that were popular when One Piece started in the 90s vs what’s running today. The fact that Oda maintained an audience for over two decades while writing for a demographic that ages out every few years is nothing short of incredible. He clearly has a pulse on what his audience wants while maintaining a clear vision for the direction he wants One Piece to go.

Nor is this an individual effort. Oda works with his assistants and editors when it comes to making these decisions. It’s impossible to say how much he’s been influenced by these other voices, both in the past and now, even if he is ultimately the person responsible for what does and does not get put to paper.

What’s more, society changes. What is considered sexist now would not be thought of as such a generation ago. Our descendants will shake their heads at all the crazy, backward, terrible things we think are normative, and that’s not even taking into consideration differences in culture that not only exist between generations, but nations. America is going to have different ideas of what is and isn’t appropriate behavior than Japan, which undoubtably influences Oda’s sense of humor, which in turn influences the sorts of gags he puts into his comic.

I want to walk a fine line here, because I think there are objective standards that people should be held to regarding sexism while also acknowledging that getting people to agree to those standards are is impossible. If people truly feel as strongly about Oda’s character design and fan service as they make it seem online, then by all means comment on it. It’s not going to change Oda’s mind, but maybe with increased awareness the next generation of storytellers will be better. 

At the same time, I think that the indignant masses need to take a deep, hard look at what they’re calling sexism. Are you really going to claim, as I’ve seen, that all fan service is sexist? Are you really going to say that Robin and Nami are weak characters because they don’t get fights? Are you really going to say that Oda’s the most sexist mangaka out there, using, Fairy Tale as an example of female characters done right?

Because if you are, you’re setting yourself up to be thought as just as vapid and uniformed as those who are only reading for tits and ass. There are legitimate criticisms to be had, but just because you don’t like a thing doesn’t mean it’s bad storytelling. Just because Oda puts something out there that you don’t approve of doesn’t make it sexist. Audiences need to be better at thinking critically about the media they consume and learn to look past the sensationalism of click bait articles to truly explore the issues at hand. 

This is getting long again, so I think I’m going to split this into another post where I’ll dive into some specific examples within the series itself. Once again, thank you for your time. I promise I’ll wrap this up soon and move onto other, hopefully more positive, things.    

[incidentreport31]

Episode One: In the Middle of the Street TRANSCRIPT

[You can listen to the show wherever you get your podcasts.]

[Intro music players.]

ANNOUNCER:

Three-Eyed Frog Presents: Incident Report Number 31.

[Theme song fades to a stop.]

[click recorder on]

ARCHIVIST:

Test. Test. One, two, three. (mutters) Bloody hell, why does it smell like something died in here? Well, guess we can’t prove something didn’t, eh? The recorder seems to be working, at least.

My name is Val West. I’m the newly appointed head archivist at The [REDACTED] Institute, which documents people’s possible experiences with the supernatural for both emotional support purposes and to get recovery time off of work, school, et cetera if the trauma is deemed severe enough by their employers or other supervisory staff.[beat as they scoff] Supernatural doctor’s note, innit...

The Head of the Institute, Mr. Neil Banks, has asked me to record these accounts because, well, there actually isn’t really a good reason. [mutters] Didn’t spend eight years getting a masters in library sciences to read stories into a dusty tape recorder, but, we all have to get by.

I do, at least, have people to assist me: two researchers: Zach Zamuel-Imogen Baker, and Christine Lewis, along with, I’m told, a very well-respected psychologist: one [hesitant] Dr. Oliver Possum, who will be advising me on any cases where there is necessary psychological follow up. I haven’t actually met any of them yet, but hopefully they will be helpful.

I was also explicitly told not to look behind the bookshelf to my left, so I will be looking behind the bookshelf later today...right. Guess I should get started, then.

[Sound of papers tapped on desk to organize them]

ARCHIVIST:

[They clear their throat.] For the consideration of Ortolan Bunting Law Firm: Ayla Stephenson’s encounter with a house that did not exist and her subsequent request for thirty hours of paid time off. No date given. Fine by me. Not gonna lose sleep over improperly filled out paperwork. Well. Start? I suppose? Yes.

[ACCOUNT.]

I feel the need to start with this, so you fully understand what I’m trying to say. I have a feeling you’ll just dismiss my story otherwise. I’ve lived here going on ten years now. Moved here on the promise of a job from the same company that I still work for today: Ortolan Bunting Law Firm. I drive the same route to work every day. I mean, I looked up the quickest way on the map when I first moved to town, and hey, who am I to question that? If it works it works. No need to make something difficult when the map’ll just figure it for you that first day, right?

I guess I’m getting a bit off topic here, but my point is that I’ve been going the same way for a decade, which is to say that I know the route to and from work like the back of my hand. Sure, maybe I don’t pay attention to every detail every day, I mean after ten years, the drive is almost an unconscious thing-

ARCHIVIST:

(mutters) Not a great way to build up your story’s credibility but, I digress.

[ACCOUNT.]

-but I still know all the road’s quirks, even if they don’t stick out to me after all this time. I know that the first left turn light on the way lasts for about two seconds and if you’re more than two cars behind in line, you’ll have to wait a whole cycle to go. I know there’s a business center that, god knows why, has their logo done in comic sans just off to the right before I merge onto the highway. Once I’m on that freeway for about fifteen minutes, I can see this drive through coffee place on one of the adjacent streets. Every single morning the line’s backed up out to the street- you’d think there’d be a better way to do that, but that’s more of a personal gripe and certainly not the point. On my way back from work, I take a few side streets to avoid rush hour traffic on the main road- just the way the map recommended on my first day, of course, I’m not looking to get lost in the backroads. There’s a few old houses, sometimes I see elderly couples sitting out on their porches. Sometimes they wave and I do have the decency to wave back, though some of my colleagues might not believe you… I’m afraid I’ve been a bit put off by this whole experience and have been taking it out on some of my coworkers. All the more reason to give me the [THE ARCHIVIST sighs this last part out as they are once again pulled out of the story] time off that I so kindly requested.

ARCHIVIST:

That last line is crossed out. It appears that Ms. Stephenson was reluctant for her Firm to read that bit if this ever got back around to them. To be honest, the way that this is going, I’m not so sure that plea would have done anything for her, but I am, of course, to remain the impartial academic in my work here, so I suppose I’ll allow the defacing of Institute paperwork just this once, even if the scribbles are rather unprofessional.

[ACCOUNT.]

There're a few empty lots there too. I think at one point, the city wanted to buy them up and make a park, but I don’t think they ever got around to it. Really don’t think they will now. I’m getting ahead of myself. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’ve been going the same way day in and day out for ten years… I’d notice if something was different.

ARCHIVIST:

I’m assuming… that is the point of this report yes? [beat] Continuing on.

[ACCOUNT.]

Nothing that day was really any different, I’d say. Just drove to work, hit all the usual landmarks: waiting to turn at the light, glancing at the comic sans sign, thinking that that coffee shop is definitely obstructing traffic, the usual. Went to work, got through the day with… minor amounts of stress… I mean it’s legal work, it isn’t fun, but somebody’s gotta do it. Got off right at five, gathered up my things and left. I took my usual streets, not really minding anything, but I noticed no one was out on the porches. That’s not unusual, I know, people can be inconsistent, it’s not a big deal, but looking back? Maybe they knew something was off… I mean if I’d lived in that neighborhood I certainly would have.

[Eerie music begins playing.]

I always drive with the radio on, can’t stand being alone with my thoughts on a busy street where road rage can make its way into my thoughts. Guess I should’ve mentioned that earlier, huh? Either way it seems important that I say it’s part of my daily life. I do it every day, and I’ve never had a problem with reception in that area, so when the sound started to glitch out, I thought something was wrong with my car. It was frustrating, sure, but not a big deal, even if I don’t necessarily enjoy the sound of static more than the average person.

I went through the usual useless attempts to fix it, of course. Smacked it a few times, turned it off and on again, but nothing changed. In the end, I just turned it off as I kept driving. Figured my own thoughts were better than the white noise that faded in and out of my speaker at an unpredictable volume. Things were fine for a few minutes. I’d almost gotten to the end of the street when I realized something wasn’t quite right.

At first, I thought maybe the light was just reflecting into my eyes weird. Maybe I’d just seen something out of the corner of my eye that there was a fine explanation for. Because… I knew this road. And there had never been a house there before. I was sure of it. A whole house isn’t something that could go up in a night, but you know that, you aren’t an idiot.

[Record scratch, cutting the music off.]

ARCHIVIST:

[pretentious bastard] I’d certainly like to think so, yes.

[ACCOUNT.]

But there it was. It wasn’t right next to the other houses, a few lots down the road instead. Other than my knowledge that it wasn’t there before, though, it could have blended into the neighborhood without anyone noticing.All things considered, it was a pretty nice house. Sure, it was done up in that fancy Victorian style and therefore inherently a little unnerving, you know how those old places just seem a little haunted even if they’re perfectly put together?

Still, beyond that, it was fine. Not broken down in that sort of creepy ghost way that you see in movies, or anything. The paint was pretty well done, only a little aged from the sun, and all the wood on the wrap-around porch was together. I mean if I was building a murder house, I would’ve splintered the boards and peeled up the exterior wall a bit, something along those lines, you know? It looked like someone could have been living out of it. Totally normal.

I know what you’re thinking, that I got out and had a look, but I can’t say I did. As the sun was going down? While I was all of a sudden unsure of my own thoughts? Really? No way in hell. I’m not an idiot either. So I kept driving. As I passed by, I got this strange feeling… like I wasn’t alone on the street. I don’t know if I imagined it or not, but with how much I was already questioning what I knew, I wasn’t sure I wanted the answer, and I sped away, not wanting to stick around any longer than I had to. Now, when I got home, I went through stages of denial before realizing that, hey, it wasn’t my damn neighborhood, and therefore not actually a problem that I would have to deal with.

At least until I was driving back from work the next afternoon. Funny how that works… your problems don’t just disappear because you’ve chosen to ignore them. Although ignore is a strong word considering I spent all day at work worrying about whether or not I should trust myself and whether or not I would see the house again when I drove home… I could’ve gone another route, of course. Could’ve gone even one street over and left it at that.

But that isn’t how it works, is it? I was so unsure of my own thoughts that I’d rather put myself in a situation that seemed potentially harmful than not know if I was wrong or not. [beat] So I went down the same route, just like I’d been conditioned to for the last decade. Once again, the couples were inside. They had to know something was wrong, I mean I was able to realize the house shouldn’t have been there and I didn’t even live in the neighborhood. I slowed my car to a snail’s pace as I inspected all about the street that I could. Not really sure what I was looking for if I’m being honest, but when I got to the house, I’d convinced myself that, yes, in fact, it was as real as the rest of the places on the block.

I don’t think it was really a conscious decision when I stopped the car. I’d just been going so slow already and… well I’d reached my target, hadn’t I? I sat and gazed over the house for a few moments. Looking over the perfect condition it seemed to be in, to no avail. It seemed to be perfectly normal. Maybe… Maybe I was really just in my head about all of this. Was it really that hard to believe? I should’ve just left, stopped staring at this place. Sitting there wasn’t going to change the fact that it was there, whether or not I could really trust my mind.

But… then I saw the curtains in the front window move. I snapped my gaze over to where I’d seen the motion and there was a little boy staring at me through the glass. He looked off to something behind the curtain before looking back over and waving, grinning a gap toothed smile at me. I... Well I wasn’t quite sure what to do with that so… I waved back. What else was I supposed to do? In an instance, I became convinced that I’d really just made the whole thing up. If there really was someone inside and nothing untoward seemed to be going on, the kid had seemed perfectly happy after all, then it had to be a real house. And really, if it had been some big spooky master plan, then why would he have acknowledged me? I’ve been to the movie theatre. I know children in horror flicks can be creepy, but just straight up waving at me like I was just another neighbor and nothing was going on? Didn’t exactly set up the sinister mood that I figured would have come from the place.

And then a hand shot out and. The kid recoiled as it shut, looking disappointed that he’d been caught doing something it was evident he wasn't supposed to. And I snapped back into trusting myself and sticking with my gut. I didn’t like the look of that. At all. Unfortunately, my whole life, I’ve generally been prone to the third fear response rather than either of the useful ones: I freeze. This time was no different. I couldn’t bring myself to drive away.

[In the background, eerie music begins playing.]

I sat there in dead silence for what felt like hours with a vague feeling of unease hanging in the air when the door opened. A man stepped out, wearing this fine tailored suit that I’d seen clients wealthier than I would ever be wear into my office and carried himself with the confidence of a person that knows no one is going to cross them. Despite all that, his face was soft. Approachable. Kind, even. Seemed like the kind of guy that knew he had money, but was willing to help you if you’d just say thank you afterwards.

As he approached my car he called out to me: “Hello there!”

Nice and friendly. Even with the strangeness of a few moments ago and my lingering unease, I could hardly bring myself to believe that this man would do anything to me. Sure, I was still stuck to my seat in fear, but he seemed perfectly safe. Maybe that’s just what it’s like to be charismatic though, looking back. I wasn’t sure what to do at that point, but my pre-programmed social response got the better of me and I rolled down my window to meet him.

“Hi.” I said. Just a simple greeting until I could really figure out what was happening.

He put one hand on the top of my car and leaned down to meet my eyes. As he spoke, his smile never faded: “So… I take it… you can see this place?”

Well, I was so taken aback I wasn’t really sure what to say, so I just nodded. And the next thing he said, well… threw me a bit off. He stood up, brushed off his pants calmly, turned back to the house, began walking, and he just said-

[Record scratch, cutting the music off.]

ARCHIVIST:

Now there’s a profanity here that I will not repeat, but it seems Ayla’s statement finishes there.

[The Archivist sighs and shuffles their papers.]

ARCHIVIST:

There’s not much followup to be done here. Ayla gave us a street address, but didn’t actually tell us which house it was. [mutters] Perhaps she’s more of an idiot than she claims to be.

Regardless, upon investigating the street, nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary, though none of our staff were familiar enough with the area to tell which houses should and shouldn’t be there. In my personal opinion, this is a mere case of a poor attention span. I can’t blame Ayla, I suppose, but was it really worth coming here and telling a whole dramatic story over it?

[scoff] There are some other areas of this statement that leave room for questioning and research, such as the radio static and the house’s residents. For now, however, I will be filing this one under “Irrelevant” in my mind. End recording.

[Recorder clicks on.]

[Recorder clicks back on.]

[There’s footsteps as HR walks down the hall. They knock on the Archivist’s office door. Meanwhile, the Archivist can be heard moving something.]

HR:

[muffled] Uh, hello? I’ve got something for the Archivist.

ARCHIVIST:

Oh, uh, yes, of course. Just let me— [They curse as they are heard tripping over piles of statements.]

[A pause.]

HR:

...should I come back at a later time, or—?

[The door suddenly swings open.]

ARCHIVIST:

Right. Blimey. Sorry about that, mate. What’s all this, then?

HR:

Er, are you the head archivist?

ARCHIVIST:

That depends, who’s asking?

HR:

Your HR. I’m also an intern under Mr. Banks, which brings about a whole array of other useless titles, but for your purposes, I’m just HR. My name is Luca.

ARCHIVIST:

Oh! Lovely. Mr. Banks told me I’d be seeing you. Um, pleasure to meet you.

HR:

Thanks, you—wait, wh—?

ARCHIVIST:

[trying to change the subject] Say, why are you here, Luca? Any plans for after your internship? I mean, surely, you have a field of study, a career plan?

HR:

[slowly, growing increasingly confused] Oh, um, yeah. I, um—well, I started here—um, yeah, after my internship, I. Uh.

ARCHIVIST:

It’s alright if you don’t have a plan, y’know. Took me a while to figure all my stuff out, and, well, I got out alive, didn’t I?

HR:

No, it’s just—I know I have something, I just. Um. [desperately trying to change the subject] What are you doing in there, exactly?

ARCHIVIST:

[beat] Oh, just some housekeeping.

HR:

...and that required you to move an entire bookshelf?

[A long pause.]

ARCHIVIST:

Listen, I know what this looks like.

HR:

Doesn’t he have a weird thing about that?

ARCHIVIST:

[passionate] Which is exactly why I did it! I mean, they’re not the heaviest bookshelves in the world, so it’s certainly not a matter of safety.

HR:

[mutters] As if Mr. Banks has ever valued the life and safety of his employees.

[Both are heard walking back into the office towards where the bookshelf was.]

ARCHIVIST:

[cont.] Which means there must have been something weird about the bookshelf—and I was right. See, look, there’s like a weird...hole. Thing.

HR:

...I’m guessing that’s why Mr. Banks made me bring you a shovel?

ARCHIVIST:

Hm? Oh, right, the shovel. Kind of forgot I had asked for that.

HR:

How did you not notice I was carrying it when I came here?

ARCHIVIST:

You see, within the hole, there’s this big mound of dirt, and I have reason to believe that there’s something hidden beneath.

HR:

[They sniff, then, disgusted] Oh god, why does it smell like something died in there?

ARCHIVIST:

That’s what I’m trying to find out.

HR:

Look, can’t you just...I don’t know, leave it? Like, just put the bookshelf back, spray some air freshener, and then be done with it? I really don’t want to have to write this up.

ARCHIVIST:

You expect me to work under these conditions? Having a mysterious hole in my wall with no idea what’s lurking within?

HR:

Look, I just think this is a really stupid idea. If Mr. Banks finds out—

ARCHIVIST:

He’s not going to! You— [they huff a sigh.] Would you just hand me my shovel? I’m going in!

HR:

Whatever you say.

[HR hands the Archivist the shovel.]

ARCHIVIST:

Thank you.

[They are heard shoveling for some time, before the Archivist finally seems to hit something.]

HR:

Is...is that…?

ARCHIVIST:

My god.

HR:

That’s a dead body.

ARCHIVIST:

Appears to be. [beat.] Do you know who it is?

HR:

I mean, they’re sort of hard to recognize now.

ARCHIVIST:

Perhaps the previous archivist?

HR:

I dunno, I never knew them.

[A long pause.]

ARCHIVIST:

Right, then. Back to work. Mind helping me move this bookshelf?

HR:

(under their breath) God, I’m gonna have to write this up, aren’t I?

[Recorder clicks off.]

[Theme music plays.]

[CREDITS.]

Incident Report Number 31 is a podcast made by Three-Eyed Frog Presents. This episode, “In the Middle of the Street,” was written, directed, and produced by Val West and Luka Miller with sound design by Luka Miller. This episode featured Val West as the Archivist and Luka Miller as HR. Music is produced by Luka Miller. To keep up with the show and find transcripts, make sure to follow us on our Twitter at @IR31Pod and on tumblr at @IncidentReport31. To contact us with any questions or concerns, feel free to email us at incidentreport31@gmail.com. Thanks so much for listening!

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 270: Harry Potter Rules

Previously on BnHA: Present Mic punched Ujiko in the face! It was awesome. I’m thinking about getting a tattoo of it. Meanwhile Endeavor saved Mirko’s life by setting her on fire (reason #15 why I will never become a superhero), and Aizawa did some sexy Spider-Man poses for our viewing pleasure while fighting the rest of these Noumus which are still annoyingly refusing to die. Anyway but back to Present Mic, the undisputed MVP of this chapter. Because you see, in addition to the punching, he also used his Loud Voice attack (literally the actual attack name; Horikoshi will steal all of my jokes and leave me with nothing) to smash open Tomura’s Noumutank! Which I really thought was going to immediately lead to Everyone Dying, but apparently I was wrong! Anyways so yeah, right now Tomura’s just lying down all heart-stopped and not-breathing. Which seems very anticlimactic, BUT I JUST HAVE THE CRAZIEST FEELING that maybe, just maybe, the super powerful villain lad who just spent the last three arcs slowly upgrading his bad self just in time to wage war on the world as the story reaches its climax, might not actually be dead though.

Today on BnHA: DON’T MIND THAT OMINOUS ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND, IT’S NOTHING, IGNORE IT. Ahem. So first of all, as some of the bolder among us dared to speculate, Tomura is not, in fact, dead. He’s still very much kicking it with his nipple-less pecs and truffula tree hair, putzing around in his mental landscape filled with crumbled buildings and disembodied Theatrical Gesture Hands. For some reason he doesn’t have shoes or a shirt in his mental landscape, which was a very interesting choice on Horikoshi’s part, but we will speak no more of it. Anyway so to sum things up, Tomura’s family is all “TENKO WE LOVE YOU” and he’s all “oh hey” and then AFO fucking appears and he’s all “COME HERE MY BOY” which is exactly as creepy as you would expect, and for some fucking reason TOMURA ACTUALLY DOES COME HERE. And lol it turns out Ujiko gave him AFO. Like the quirk. Yes, that quirk. So long story short, Tomura is about to be possessed by AFO’s evil soul or some shit, and to put the cherry on top, fucking Deku out of fucking nowhere, MILES AWAY, is all “HE’S COMING.” Because of course he can sense it, because AFOFA IS REAL, AND FUCK ME THIS IS ALL HAPPENING TOO FAST, FUCK.

I know this chapter has been out since like 1pm, but I’m not getting to read it until 5 hours later because for once in my life I was trying to be responsible and actually get some work done on a Friday. I thought this might lead to less oh-god-I-still-have-to-get-that-done anxiety hovering over my weekend, but instead it just led to oh-god-I-have-to-get-the-chapter-recap-done anxiety hovering over my now! anyways so this might be a bit rushed lol

(ETA: yeah turns out this wasn’t exactly the kind of chapter you could just read quickly and get on with your life lmao. so, then!)

what a nice panel of Present Mic taking out the trash

you heard ‘em fellas. the doctor is secured. good job everyone we did it, manga over, congratulations. now to cut away to a two-page spread of Dark Shadow comically smothering Dabi’s flames with a giant stock pot lid, and that’ll be that! what a wonderful, extremely short and strangely underwhelming arc in which we haven’t even seen the actual main characters do anything yet. but I guess we don’t need them since the main bad guy is lying dead on the floor! everything is just so fucking dead and secured!! do you think if I keep repeating it enough Horikoshi will finally be like “okay geez I get it” and reveal his hand already

Mic is now ordering Ujiko to power down the Noumu, which again, I’m sure he will definitely do without a fuss since after all the good guys have clearly won the day

OH SHIT OH FUCK

rip X-Less. gonna just take a moment here to imprint your beautiful face onto my memory before it turns into a pile of ash. your face, I mean. not my memory. well my memory more or less already is a pile of ash but that’s neither here nor there ANYWAYS

:’)

what are these little sound effects. I think that’s supposed to be a buzzing noise?? anyways whatever it is PLEASE STOP IT, I AM NOT HAVING A NICE TIME SO STOP

ffff Horikoshi sure has done an excellent job of setting the mood in such a way that all of these panels of X-Less doing incredibly mild things are sending my stress levels through the roof. like is anyone else reading his lines more or less like “WELP, TIME FOR ME TO DIE, ANY SECOND NOW, WE’RE REALLY DOING THIS, THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING, HERE IT COMES”

(ETA: when is this poor sweet innocent man going to fucking die already.)

LET’S CUT BACK TO MIC ESCAPING THE IMMEDIATE VICINITY

I have the clearest mental image of Horikoshi standing by with a walkie talkie in one hand and one of those remote bomb detonation clicky switch thingies in the other, patiently waiting to receive the go-ahead once all of the important characters have gotten to safety

anyway so now Ujiko is talking again

no fear everyone this is just the beginning of his verbal noumu deactivation sequence. nothing to worry about. everything is fine

yes for some reason his code phrase to put all the noumus back to sleep involves going into rambling detail about his work researching quirk singularities and shit. it’s fine. it’s not a big deal. code phrases are just like that sometimes all right

just ignore the increasingly panicked look in Mic’s eye as he slowly realizes he was way too fucking keen to just leave the “dead” Tomura back there with his laser-eyed hero buddy. anyway so let’s continue learning all about the Quirk Illuminati or whatever the fuck

okay so... he faked his own death? 70 years ago, at age 50 or thereabouts? I mean, that’s interesting and all I guess. not saying I wouldn’t be thrilled to spend the rest of this chapter learning all about Ujiko’s boring evil life. I don’t need to say it because it’s implied on account of Ujiko sucks and is the worst. so yeah can we get a move on though

oh shit?!?

WHOSE NARRATION IS THAT IN THE BOXES TOMURA IS THAT YOU OH GOD OH GOD

also, comparing AFO’s smile to a buddha’s really sent an actual shudder of disgust down my spine for some reason lmao. I personally would have steered that comparison in a different area, maybe less to buddhas and more to Norman Bates from Psycho, but to each their own

oh shit wait up

okay but this is actually a pretty big revelation though, isn’t it? because it’s been hinted for a while now that AFO and Ujiko had some method of duplicating quirks (the fact that all the Noumu share the same regeneration quirk was the biggest clue, but there was also John-chan’s quirk, as well as Hood’s Muscular-esque quirk), but as far as I can recall, this is the first time we’ve had it confirmed. though to be fair I wasn’t joking when I said my memory really has been shit lately sob

anyway so for real though, can you really call it a BnHA chapter if you’re not spending a good chunk of it being hopelessly confused over the ownership of some ambiguous thought bubbles. WHO IS THIS. I do seriously feel like it’s Tomura, because he’s the wrathful one, but another hallmark of a typical BnHA chapter is me constantly questioning everything I know as I muddle my way through

(ETA: yeah I’m pretty sure it was him. still impressive how vague it is though! it could also potentially be Ujiko, Mic, or even Deku. hopefully Caleb’s translation on Sunday can shed some more light on this. though he wasn’t really helpful last time this happened lol.)

SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

didn’t... you just... say that “preservation” was your quirk?? what do you mean that you wanted it?? CAN YOU JUST FINISH YOUR SENTENCES LIKE A NORMAL PERSON

anyway so here’s a summary of this chapter thus far

present mic: okay goodbye forever x-less

x-less: what a strange thing to say! :) also is it just me or is this machine fucking staring at me

present mic: turn the noumu off please

ujiko: seventy years ago... society... singularity... he’d be 120 years old now...

??: [REPULSIVE FEELING EW WHO’S TOUCHING ME]

ujiko: all for one has the smile of an angel...

??: [SON OF A BITCH I’M SO FUCKING WRATHFUL]

ujiko: my quirk... preservation... the truth is... my quirk... preservation... the truth is... my quirk...

all caught up?? grand. also btw is anyone else super disturbed by the fact that Ujiko recognizes Mic as being “Kurogiri’s friend”, like holy shit though? how would he know that. I can’t think of any implications of this that aren’t super disturbing tbh

anyways back to -- LOL WHAT THE

Horikoshi Kouhei: [furiously scribbling notes to himself at 3am] BUT WHAT IF THE FOLDING CITY FROM “INCEPTION” HAD MORE GIANT HANDS

jesus christ. is this like some mental representation of what shit is currently like in Tomura’s mind? lots of crumbly destruction and traffic lights and the house his father built (isn’t it? I feel like it looks familiar), and SO MANY HANDS, HE JUST LOVES HIS HANDS

anyway so at this point it’s a coin toss whether or not anything in this fucking chapter is ever going to make any kind of fucking sense! but here I am voluntarily along for the ride while Gene Wilder sings that creepy boat song right in my ear!

DSFKLDSJ

ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN FLOATING IN A JAR FOR THREE MONTHS TBH. that is some luscious quarantine hair

SDFLKJSDLFKJSLKFDHLKSDJFLKJLKSDJL:FKJSDL:KJ

(ETA: that Tomura in the top left may be my new favorite panel. look at him. all he is is a nose and chin and ~*~HAIR~*~.)

HANAAAAAA AHHHHHH OH MY LORD OH MY LORD! OKAY I’M FINALLY PAYING ATTENTION NOW FOR REAL! NO MORE JOKES! EVERYBODY SHHHH!!!

FFFFFFFFFF

“LOOK AT ME I’M A MAIN CHARACTER I CAN HAVE STRANGE VISIONS AND TALK TO DEAD PEOPLE IN MY DREAMS, SOUND LIKE ANYBODY ELSE YOU KNOW?” TOMURA SHUT UP I DON’T HAVE TIME TO ANALYZE THIS SCENE THEMATICALLY RIGHT NOW I’M TOO BUSY BEING SAD ABOUT YOUR DEAD SISTER WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY CALCULATING THE ODDS OF THIS SOMEHOW BEING FORESHADOWING FOR HER NOT REALLY BEING DEAD. OH GOD, OH FUCK YOU GUYS, I’M FREAKING OUT

WHAT KIND OF YOUNGER BROTHER DOESN’T CALL HIS OLDER SISTER “NEECHAN” TOMURA WHAT KIND OF ANIME CHARACTER ARE YOU

AT THIS POINT HIS HAIR IS ITS OWN INDIVIDUAL CHARACTER WITH THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS WOW

HORIKOSHI PLEASE STOP SHAKING THIS CHAMPAGNE BOTTLE OF SIBLING FEELS SO VIGOROUSLY I AM SO TERRIBLY AFRAID OH GOD

“BY THE WAY TENKO I JUST HAVE TO SAY, YOUR MAN BOOBS ARE SERIOUSLY IMPRESSIVE AND YOU SHOULD BE VERY PROUD.” YES HANA I WAS JUST GOING TO SAY. HOW ASTUTE OF YOU TO POINT THAT OUT. BOY HAS BEEN HITTING THAT BOWFLEX

WTAF IS HIS HAIR THOUGH SERIOUSLY??!

IS IT JUST ME OR IS THIS DIALOGUE BUBBLE ACTUALLY COMING FROM THE HAIR ITSELF. TOMURA. TOMURA BLINK TWICE IF YOU ARE IN DANGER

SJJKJSKJSW

TENKO IT’S ME YOUR GIANT MOM I’M BEHIND YOU HONEY TURN AROUND AND LOOK HELLO HI I LOVE YOU DO YOU STILL WANT TO BE A HERO

ffff why is he so pretty all the time lately

you are very handsome with your billowy hair and ken doll abs, you. sure are having a lot of trippy visions for a dead guy too there

HEY!!!!

WHO SAID YOU WERE ALLOWED -- DO YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST -- ffffffffff I need to be alone with my thoughts for a few minutes fuck

okay well. but since it is getting late I guess we’ll just pack these feelings up real quick and put them inside a box and neatly label it “feelings I have about Tomura having a vision of his mom and immediately turning back into his innocent little boy self in said vision as soon as he sees her.” not too sure about the contents of this box yet but I will have to explore them thoroughly at a later date

oh hey it’s this asshole

“THAT WAS TWENTY YEARS AGO, DAD.” jesus Kotaro. get over it

and also guess what, if you go and get Tomura all riled up so he wakes up grumpy and disintegrates the first hapless guy he sees, I will hold you solely responsible for that poor man’s death. I’m just warning you now

oh my

I remember this conversation going a bit differently the last time, but hey

LOOOOOOL

HIGH FIVE. PUT ‘ER THERE

WHY WOULD YOU LOOK SO SURPRISED LOL DID YOU NOT JUST TURN TOWARDS HIM WITH A SINISTER MURDER FACE LIKE TWO SECONDS AGO. LIKE WTF DID YOU THINK WAS GONNA HAPPEN

OH NO OH SHIT

FUCK ME, GUESS IT WOULDN’T BE A DRAMATIC BNHA DREAM SEQUENCE IF THIS ASSHOLE DIDN’T MAKE AN APPEARANCE AT SOME POINT OR OTHER NOW WOULD IT

-- HOLY SHIT?!

RECORD SCRATCH, FREEZE FRAME??

holy shit. holy shit. holy shit. holy shit. holy shit. holy shit

holy shit. fuck

...okay so

is this implying that AFO has been Noumufied? but that doesn’t make any sense, does it? he already had multiple quirks. what other advantages could there be to him becoming a Noumu. well whatever I’m just typing out all of my thoughts real fast for the time being and I’ll try to make sense of them later

or is it because he sees Kurogiri as a father figure? and AFO also?

or is he using Kurogiri’s quirk????? IS HE SOMEHOW WARPING INTO TOMURA’S DREAMS

because that third one, to me, is what this panel most looks like? Tomura says he looks like Kuro, but he doesn’t though. Kuro has a very distinctive face which this is very much lacking. instead it looks to me much more like one of Kurogiri’s portals, with AFO’s buddhaesque smile sticking out. so yeah. I got nothin’. except, again, fuck

(ETA: yeah I obviously have more thoughts about this now, but we’ll get to those in a bit.)

...

.......

-- !!!!!!!!!!LKJLK!JLKJ

oh shit oh shit oh shit 

OH SHIT

NO BABY NO DON’T DO IT

GASP

THEY’RE TRYING TO SAVE HIM AHHHH

I HAVE LIKE TEN THOUSAND THOUGHTS IN MY BRAIN RIGHT NOW YET SOMEHOW MY MIND IS ALSO STRANGELY BLANK?? I DON’T EVEN KNOW?? I’LL JUST KEEP READING

KOTARO ARE YOU TRYING TO HELP HIM OR ARE YOU PULLING HIM TOWARD AFO??

OH HE’S PUSHING HIM BACK!! OH SHIT IT’S A WHOLE FAMILY EFFORT

THEY’RE TRYING TO SAVE HIM AFO IS GOING TO TAKE HIM OVER AND THEY’RE TRYING TO PROTECT HIM OH GOD OH JESUS

BABY TENKO EYES OH MY GOD HE LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE DEKU THAT I THOUGHT IT WAS DEKU FOR A MOMENT

NO TENKO!!!

FUCK -- DOES HE NOT CARE? HE ACTUALLY UNDERSTANDS WHAT’S ABOUT TO HAPPEN BUT HE DOESN’T CARE?? IS HE TRULY SO PROFOUNDLY MISERABLE THAT HE’D GO AHEAD AND ACCEPT THIS FATE WILLINGLY

NO SOUNDS. NO WORDS. YOU COULD HEAR A PIN DROP IN MY ROOM RIGHT NOW

except that I have the most incredible, chilling, disturbing, electrifying feeling that my mental soundtrack is about to start blaring AFO’s theme from the anime on full blast...!

LOOOOOL SOB OH FUCKK

THE MOST TERRIFYING, DRAMATIC KIP UP YOU’VE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE!! THIS IS IT, IT’S BEEN REAL FRIENDS, THIS IS WHERE WE DIE

-- ARE YOU REALLY, TRULY, GENUINELY SHITTING ME RIGHT NOW

NOW OF ALL TIMES IS WHEN WE FINALLY CUT TO THE TRIO, I’M CAN’T, I’M FUCK

AND THAT’S THE END AHHHHH

holy shit holy shit holy shit. wow

okay so. I don’t really have any sort of neat and tidy way to wrap up this hot mess of a recap lol. so, just... have a whole mess of all of my stupid whirling thoughts

those first four pages really did nothing to brace me at all lol

okay, so. here’s my understanding of all this, I guess. basically we’re going full Harry Potter rules here. AFO horcruxed his quirk, and from the looks of it, a piece of his soul (perhaps even the main piece) along with it. he then passed it on to Ujiko to implant into Tomura

horcrux!AFO then wakes up, and takes over Tomura. so then my understanding is that he’s going to be possessed by him. and I also got the impression that he’s fully aware of that, but just doesn’t care at this point. he knew his family was trying to warn him, but he didn’t care. and that look in his eyes when he disintegrated them just seemed so fucking resigned to me, though. jesus

but now the more interesting thing! so we can liken Tomura to the resurrected Voldemort from book 5 and onward, reborn after transferring his power into a new vessel. which would go a long way toward explaining how AFO was able to sense what was happening from all the way in Tartarus; because if we liken it to Voldemort and his horcruxes, it would mean that he still has a connection to them (similar to the connection between Voldemort’s mind and Harry’s)

but so now comes the really interesting thing -- what does this then imply about the connection between AFO and Deku? because you’ll recall that AFO alluded to a similar mental connection back when Deku first activated SIXQUIRKS. and now we have Deku somehow being magically aware of AFO’s sudden resurgent presence in this chapter. but why?? if the reason AFO and Tomura share a psychic link is because of a shared quirk, why would Deku also be experiencing the same link? the answer is, he wouldn’t -- unless he, too, had the same shared quirk

in other words, I think All for One for All is fucking confirmed you guys. I can’t think of any explanation for this other than that OFA is also a horcrux quirk. a little piece of AFO broken off and embedded in his brother, and then passed along through the generations. and now residing within Deku

anyway. so that’s a hell of a lot to ponder lol. I guess we can at least be grateful for the fact that we’re not waiting two weeks for chapter 271 like Hori originally planned. can you fucking imagine. what a fucking asshole lol

[theaspiringwanderess]

The West Coast Trail; A Vancouver Island Adventure Of A Lifetime

Packing: Food/Clothes/Essentials | Booking: Reservations/Transport | Research | Facts | My Story | Start | Days 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 | Chez Moniques | Nitinaht Crab Shack

The West Coast Trail is one of the most, if not the most, iconic Canadian west coast adventure a hiker could ask for. It is a 75km test of both physical and mental endurance in one of the most stunning environmental settings you have ever seen. Not everyone that sets out for this great journey completes it, but those that do have a tale to tell for a lifetime and a forever bond with those they meet along the way.

Having completed this epic trail twice now, my approach is to blend a little bit of old and new into a (hopefully) wondrous tail that offers context, wisdom and insight to the journey, while describing the magical things you will experience and the challenges you will face. I’ve also prepared additional posts for your reading pleasure on Packing: Food/Clothes/Essentials and Booking: Reservations/Transport. So please, grab a hot cup of tea, throw on those comfy pjs and sit back and enjoy the read. 

Handy References and Information Material

Every great hike starts with research, especially this one! If you haven't heard of it yet, look up the famed book Blisters and Bliss: A Trekker's Guide to the West Coast Trail by David Foster and Wayne Aitken. This awesomely 80′s comic styled guide adds a little light-hearted humour to a highly detailed account of the WCT which is revised roughly every couple years. It offers both trekking options (north to south AND south to north!) and gives you all the step by step nitty gritty deets in between including history, objects of interest, geological features and safety tips! I suggest taking it with you and read about the section ahead each night. Also, opt to keep it in a safe pack pocket, don’t put it in a plastic bag (I did this my first time and sadly lost my copy to the inescapable moisture and mold).

Check out the West Coast Trail Facebook Page! This page is not manned by Parks Canada. However, it is a great place to meet other hikers, find someone looking to ride share, ask questions and for advice, learn about recent developments and important information (washed out bridges, danger sections, wildlife sightings or concerns... even hear about annoyed hikers picking up others garbage...not kidding lol).

Oh! And there is also a Women’s West Coast Trail Page!

Parks Canada Website. Duh, right?! But you may not realize that Parks Canada has some handy info regarding what to pack (and what not to!), emergency items, wildlife warnings, necessary fees, maps, tide tables, tips and more to make your hike a happy one. Check out the Planning For WCT page here.

You'll also find online a plethora of websites, blogs and articles dedicated to WCT info, tips, advice, and more. I encourage you to read a few personal accounts to get a real life feel of what others experience. Here are some of my favourites (don’t let the names scare you!), plus a very cool and scholarly article from UofBC on the effects of colonial-style tourism in the area and on the local indigenous tribes written in 2020. Fascinating read.

Hike The WCT (website)

Walking the wild coast : territory, belonging, and tourism on the West Coast Trail (UofBC Open Collection)

Lost On The West Coast Trail

How Not To Die On The West Coast Trail

The Facts

The West Coast Trail is 75 km long. That's on the map and, best as I can figure, relatively "as the crow flies". It does not account for the extra steps, the ladders, the climbing, the crawling, the descending, etc, you get the picture. Both times I've gone my fitbit has read almost double or more the distance in 'real ground covered'. For example, when they say its 5km from the Gordon River Trail Head to Thrasher Cove, my fitbit in both cases recorded over 12 km when all was said and done. When they tell you it takes on average 5-6 hours to do that stretch, and you're only covering 1km or less an hour, this is why. You will chuckle in the orientation, as many have, and think, "ya, if you're a SNAIL!", but you will soon realize it’s about the terrain and that you're essentially doing double or more the physical effort to cross it. The same is true for nearly all the trail, even the "easy parts".

Safety First - the majority of accidents and injuries occur in the first 13 kms on the south side of the trail, from Gordon River at km 75, to Camper Bay at km 62. The trail accommodates just over 7500 people a year. Of that, Parks Canada evacuates roughly 80-100 injured persons annually and Nitinaht villagers have claimed to ferry out 100-200 additional hikers off the trail as well, due to injury, misery, etc. It won’t be a bear or cougar that takes you out, it’ll be the wilderness itself. A fall from a wet log or slimy stone is the most common culprit, and it may not even be the fall itself, but what you land on. Sharp rocks, jabbing sticks, etc all cause serious injury. And it always happens when you're TIRED. Don't push yourself. Take a break, have a snack, don't go farther in a day than your body can handle. Better to be a day late than waiting 24 hrs in the bush with no morphine and a broken leg for a boat ride that surely will be agonizing. Just sayin' here...

The WCT historically was maintained for shipwrecked mariners. Many have lost their lives along this trail. I don’t understand how it doesn’t have its own ghost story yet! It has an amazing history with lots of ship wreckage to see along the way if you time the tides right.

Lastly, the temperate rainforest that engulfs the WCT is not only stunning but globally very rare, encompassing less than 1% of ecosystems across the earth. Here you will see plants, trees and animals that may not exist anywhere else on our planet. The Sitka Spruce for example is among not only the tallest trees in the world, but also the oldest, some 700-1000 years old. This means they have seen North America as it was before European Settlers touched it. They are revered by many and highly sought after by loggers, which often leads to conflicts. Many extremely unique animals also reside in the WCT, like the islands' black bears which are actually larger than mainland black bears with massive skulls and only one unique colour phase. The island is also home to cougars, Victoria's famous mini-deer and sea-wolves, the only wolves in the world that have adapted to life on a coastline, they call the Pacific Coast home. With a completely unique diet of seafood they are genetically different from mainland wolves and have also been known to swim in the ocean for many kilometers.

My West Coast Trail Story

Now, before we begin, I'll preface this by saying, don't mistake me for a pro; I am simply someone who has made it off the WCT twice [relatively] safely and lived to share my tale. If you are looking for expert advice I'd say check out the Parks Canada website or the Blisters and Bliss book. But if you are looking for a heartwarming and informative, real life account of the experience, you've come to a great place.

I am now amongst a lucky few that have had the enormous privilege to have hiked the West Coast Trail not only once, but twice in my lifetime thus far. I say thus far because this trail has such a special place in my heart I expect at some point I will likely attempt it again. It changed my life and has had an everlasting impact on the lives of those around me. I learned a lot about myself and even more about those closest to me. What I am capable of, the importance of preparation and planning, the bonds you create with people you meet along the way and the love of those that support you going and take care of things while you're gone. I simply couldn’t have done this without the support of my amazing husband, friends, parents and sister and my wonderful sister in law whom we stayed with this time. But most importantly I missed the encouragement and support of my mother-in-law who lived on the island and sadly has passed since my first trip. She and her friends played such an instrumental role in my first journey with my sister, buying us foods, housing us, driving us, and just overall being so excited to see us off, I truly missed her this time but I know she was there with me in spirit.

In this way the West Coast Trail is a life-shaping experience like no other. You will learn much about yourself, be in awe and hopefully inspired by the incredible natural world around you and you will meet fellow Canadians and global trotters and, in turn, become a part of their WCT story. Let me be amongst the first to congratulate you on this epic endeavor and wish you the happiest, and safest, of journeys and hopefully I can send you off a bit more well prepared for the adventure.

First Timers VS Second Timers

My experience as a first time WCT hiker was extremely different from my second expedition in every way possible.

The first time I hiked the WCT I went with my youngest sister Jenna. We had both hiked and camped before but this was a new experience and everything was raw, a bit scary, amazing and beautiful all at once. I think it just hit us both like a ton of bricks when we landed at the base of that first ladder across the Gordon River. Although Sharon had talked to me for months, mentally preparing me for the hike, when Jenna and I both looked up at the rest of our start group scaling that first beast, looming up from the small beach landing, I know we both had the exact same thought, like, "oh shit, this is for real...".

Why the WCT? Sharon, my good friend and co-worker, had previously attempted it before turning me onto it. Due to an unfortunate incident with her hiking companion, they had to turn in the towel. She has since rocked it twice more and was an absolute wealth of information, support and the wisdom that only an experienced female hiker, mom and athlete can be. Much of what I am sharing with you today began with her. She continues to inspire me every day with her ferocity and determination and boundless want for adventure.

At the time of my first hike in 2016, my mother-in-law lived on Vancouver Island and she and her best friend Jill had kindly arranged for us to stay at another friend's cottage just outside Port Alberni. The friend and her husband fed us well and the beauty of the setting was unimaginable. But the anticipation of what lay ahead weighed heavily on both Jenna and I and neither of us barely slept a wink. The next morning we had our last hot shower and flush toilet experience for the next 7 days and the 4 of us set out for the Gordon River Trail Head.

We piled into Jill’s car the following morning. The ride was long, on gravel switch back logging roads, but the supportive company made the nervous anticipation bearable. I feel like I did not appreciate the ride as much as I should have at the time, but a few 5 am bus rides (and much experience) later, I certainly cherish the thought my mother-in-law and Jill had put into making the beginning special for us both.

Since then, I've booked my island hike transports with the West Coast Trail Express bus. The folks there are super helpful and the experience has always been a good one. In 2018, a WCT facebook group was created which has made connecting with others looking for ride shares and doing the trail much easier AND more informative! You can read about this page and other research options at the top of this post if you missed them ;)

When 2016 saw Jenna and I land at Gordon River's Information Station, I was greeted with an amazing surprise... Sharon and Jackie (another friend) had pre-purchased for me a WCT t-shirt. I cried, there were no words. When 2021 saw Krista and I land at Gordon River's Information Station, I was greeted with a sense of the familiarity of the adventure and vicariously enjoyed the wonder of someone else now experiencing the trail for the first time... READY?!.. and INHALE... can you smell it..? the Adventure?! It's like greeting an old friend again, for the first time.

It's Like Those Choose Your Own Adventure Books, Where You Pick Your Ending...

Remember those..? Maybe..? When Starting the WCT, you can plan to start at either entry point, Gordon River to the south or Pacheena Bay to the north, or now even halfway at Nitinaht. There are advantages to all, so it just depends what is most appealing to you. Most people do the trail within a 6-8 day time frame. This gives a good balance of time vs pack weight. I always try to plan for an extra emergency day, just in case. Things happen here... Long stays requires more provisions and a heavier pack. Shorter stays (in my personal opinion) are extremely challenging, unless you have done the trail before, are very skilled in lightweight packing and are an expert hiker. I still wouldn't recommend it. Plus, if you're going that fast, you're rushing by so much, what's the point? If you've paid and taken the time to be here, enjoy it! That being said, when Jenna and I did the trail we were treated to watching marathoner and athlete Jen Segger run it in one day. ONE DAY. She currently holds the women's record for WCT completion at 13 hrs 44mins (as posted here on her page under 2016). Of course she had no pack and support runners with her and a camera crew. But as she ran by us I think both our jaws dropped. It was like watching Super Woman run by you and you were just lucky if her sweat spayed you as she passed by. 

When you start out, keep in mind your pack is at it's heaviest. Starting at Pacheena Bay entry point means you'll be hiking the easiest parts of the trail first. You'll make excellent time here and cover the most distance over the shortest number of days. Although all areas of the trail offer exquisite and unique beauty, in my opinion the north end is the most magical. Maybe because by the time I reach it Im half delirious and most certainly exhausted so the easier hike is a much welcome break. Both times I've hiked the WCT I have opted to start at the southern trail head point known as Gordon River.

Starting at Gordon River means that you get through the most difficult terrain right at the beginning, when you're freshest, well rested and eager to set out. You also have the added benefit of anticipating the terrain getting easier (rather than harder). To me, this is the most logical approach and why I prefer this route and honestly, there is just something that seems slightly disillusioning about expecting something to get harder along the way. When Jenna and I first made it up that initial ladder we came across several groups finishing their hike. One in particular stuck out, a group of three female friends. We passed the first two who were happy and chatting and weirdly gave us a (mild) warning to disregard their companion, who was somewhere behind them. Ok... sure, we thought. Then along came the third girl... muttering, swearing under her breath, we contemplated what she might do to her companions if she caught up to them and we joked about how that likely was the end of that friendship. 2016 was a much busier year, pre-covid and all, and we met so many more people, Canadians, Germans, Chinese and Auzzies! 

2021 though is the year of the Canadians! If you happen to head out on the WCT this year, although you will still experience a wide range of people (Canada is an extraordinarily diverse nation!), rest assured most currently reside within Canada. Hello Homies! It was, however, a much more muted WCT experience than my past one. Although the Parks staff assured me they have had lots of people come through (I asked!), and the online bookings are sold out, it seemed so much quieter day to day. At the time Krista and I arrived, Parks staff were still only doing outdoor basic debriefing, prior to which we were expected to watch an online information video covering the basics. This was in stark contrast to the very in depth orientation Jenna and I had to attend back in 2016. 

Fellow Canadians, Tsk Tsk...

The biggest difference I noticed that could be as a result of the minimized debrief is the amount of garbage. There is NO garbage removal on the trail. Parks staff DO NOT haul garbage out (its a remote wilderness, do you really expect garbage men??). The WCT is accessible by foot (as in, you hike in... for 75 km) OR by boat, the latter being weather and safety dependant in extreme occasions (ie emergency evacuation). At each campsite we stayed, hikers THIS year (the trail was closed 2020) have left copious amounts of garbage. It’s in the bear bins, on the trail, the beach, in the outhouses... it’s EVERYWHERE. The worst by far was Camper Bay with stinking tuna cans and bags in every bear bin and Cribbs Creek, where the garbage pile extended to a massive bottle collection BEHIND the bear bin.

Why do sites have bear bins in the first place? Because human food and waste smells amazing to BEARS! So we lock it away to keep it, and us, safe. This does not mean a bear can’t smell it, it just means they can’t access it. Now, what happens when food rots and gets stinkier...? Of course it's more enticing. This draws bears, and other animals, to the campsite, which puts your safety, and the safety of each camper, at risk. I have to give Krista major kuudos here because that girl dug in deep, cleaned someone else's mess at each site we stopped at and even hauled out other people's stinky gross trash. Please give her a round of applause for thinking about you because she deserves it. And as Canadians, seriously, we can do better right??

Da' Debrief

Apologies, now that’s out, let's get on. During our debrief we learned some important key points.

2021 has seen unprecedented amounts of animal sightings and encounters. Primarily bear and cougar. There has also been more daytime sightings of wolves, which is considered extremely rare. With the trail closed in 2020, lack of human presence has caused a larger wildlife presence. Be aware, practice safety, travel in groups. Groups are also being asked to accommodate single hikers to reduce risk.

There is a lot of maintenance to be done that wasn't able to be accomplished in 2020 due to the pandemic. Be prepared for washed out boardwalks, bridges and rotten boards. There is also fewer Parks staff to help with this upkeep. Luckily, local members of indigenous tribes, called the Trail Guardians, historically help in a huge way with this and you may even run into them on the trail! We saw their team arrive in their new boat leaving Walbran and at Pacheena we spoke to a Parks staff who's uncle is on the team. It's a small world here.

Following the debrief, the Parks staff escort you to the Gordon River ferry. The fellow here takes you across and plops you down on the small sandy beach, gathers up any hikers waiting for a ride back and heads off on his way. And there you are, left to stare at a huge ladder, really, the first of many.

up, Up, UP You Go!

In 2016 Jenna and I patiently waited at the end of the line to be the last two up the ladder and I tackled the climb with my 50lb pack in tow (phew!). In 2021 Krista and I were the only two standing on the beach, me revelling in my 'barely there' 38lb pack. The trail was our oyster!

The trek from Gordon River to Thrasher Cove is the most challenging and physically demanding on the trail. We left on the 11:30 ferry and finally walked into Thrashers Cove at 5pm - Yes, it DOES take that long. You actually don't see many ladders, a few here and there, but best believe you are still climbing! You scramble up rock faces, you squeeze past trees, you choose your footing extremely carefully and all the while up, up, UP you GO! Even over rocks and hard ground the trail is fairly well worn and easy to follow... most of the time. A short while in you come to the first bridge over the first creek. I have stopped here both times to fill up water bottles, but beware, the scramble back up is more difficult than it looks this year due to the fallen trees. Mountain Goat level scuttling expertise is advised! Much further along, not far from Thrashers, you'll eventually comes across the famed Donkey Engine! This year you will find it to be directly in your path, where as in 2016 I’m quite sure we looked down on it somehow from a higher elevation. Either way, it’s epic and makes for an amazing photo op! To think that thing was hauled by beast and hand up that hill still blows my mind.

Along the way we met a very nice gentleman named Wilson who had intended to hike the WCT with his son. Unfortunately, due to a graduation re-scheduling mishap his son was unable to come, but Wilson decided to soldier on. He was incredibly happy, thoughtful and polite and asked if we minded if he tagged along as we hiked. He regaled us with tails of his trails, immigration to Canada, his wife and family and much more; he was a fascinating fellow! With the wildlife warnings this year, Parks staff request that no one hike alone, if you can, allow a solo hiker to tag along so everyone can stay safe. We graciously obliged and enjoyed his company and great conversation for a couple more days until we parted ways at Nitinaht comfort camping.

Thrasher's Cove is an amazing, but small, campsite. I recall vividly in 2016 the trail down to the beach being extremely treacherous, with steep and slippery embankments and so many ladders! By comparison our 2021 descent seemed like a cake-walk. Here I was, boasting to Krista the challenge that lay before her, but when we got there it was literally a quick hop and skip down. She found anything I said after that to be hard to believe and was convinced I was totally embellishing. It really made me realize how MUCH the trail changes and what dynamic metamorphosis must have occurred in 6 years! I also realized how hard Trail Guardians and Parks staff must work to maintain all this constantly worn out infrastructure. It must a BEAST. Be warned, if you arrive to Thrashers too late in the day it will be tough finding a spot. If this happens to you, check out the south side of the beach, sometimes there's a bit more space there. Ironically, I have set up my tent in the exact same spot both times, right in front of the tiny triangle cave around the rock wall on the south side of the beach. I have claimed this spot now.

Knock, Knock, It's The Ocean!

This is also where knowing how to read your tide tables is extremely important. While camping on the beach you must pitch your tent above the high tide line. The high tide line is where you can see the sand was last wet on the beach. It's not where the water is when you arrive. Look for the wet point on the sand and keep your tent a few good feet above that. When Jenna and I first arrived at Thrashers, I was confident in my tide table reading skills; being from Alberta, I took the time to learn how to read them in advance. But, during the orientation the Park staff had warned our group that our first night was due to be the highest high tide of the year - intimidating to a couple prairie girls! And, which is also a thing if you read up on the moon cycle! (Actually there is a lot of news this year on the effects of the moon's impending orbital wobble on tides, its a fascinating read if you're interested!). So, naturally a bit cautious and overly leery of the horror stories of campers waking up to soaked tents in the middle of the night, my poor sister was worried sick. Exhausted but too afraid to sleep, I promised her I'd stay up till high tide to make sure we were safe. She soon passed out and I settled in reading my book. But the surf was loud and near, a thundering, crashing rukus with each wave and about 2 hours in my sister jolted straight up in her sleeping bag, scaring the ba-geezus outta me crying out 'IS IT HERE?! IS THE OCEAN HERE YET?! ", big-eyed I just stared, then broke out laughing; I settled her back down, reassured her we were safe, now passed the time of concern, and wiggled down into my own sack to drift off. It's still an inside joke to this day and once in a while we chuckle to each other about the time the ocean came knocking.

2021 brought me its own surprise when at 4am I awoke to an unusual scratching noise against our tent next to my head. We had wrapped our rain covers around our [empty] backpacks and snugged them up against the tent to stay dry and save space. Apparently the local otter family found them fascinating and decided to check them out on their morning stroll. An alarm clock certainly fit for the WCT. 

It's A Beach Walk, Not A Cake Walk

Leaving Thrasher's Cove you have two options! You can take the beach route if you time the tides carefully OR you can take the inland route. In 2016 Jenna and I sojourned the inland route. Although the inland hike was pretty, if I'd found the trek down to Thrashers tough, the trek back up would've been classed insane. Sharon’s favourite saying is, what goes down must go up. In 2021 Krista and I timed the tide, leaving at 7:30am, to take the beach route. Although we'd planned to avoid what turned out to not be a bad climb, I'd really wanted to see the famous sea caves! The sea caves themselves were nothing short of AMAZING. There is just no other word. I was so in awe that in my mind they seem to take up almost 3 days of our trip, not just half an hour on the second day.

Although we'd planned to aim for Cullite Creek Campground day 2, we hit a major snag. As we traipsed along, well after the sea caves, we came to a rocky sea shelf that rose high out of the water. As you look up, you might catch a glimpse of some buoys, which commonly mark the beach access to the trail and campgrounds. Thinking this was our access back onto the trail, as you must go inland from here to Campers, we headed up along the higher shelf. We passed an unusual 'Danger' sign. We looked around, but could not identify anything that seemed out of the ordinary for where we were. We kept on. We came to a similar sign on the rock, but again, failed to see what was obviously dangerous. Wasps? Bear den? Surge Channel? There was no fallen bridge, no down ladder. Everything seemed ok. We reached the buoys, and Krista lifted her leg to step over a small trickle of a water... That's when it happened.

Danger on the Trail...

Before she could even complete her step, both feet flew out from beneath her and her whole body, pack and all, smashed onto the rock shelf. She began rocketing like a she was on a pro waterslide down the embankment towards a 9 foot drop into the water pool below. I had the wherewithal to shout out 'grab a rock!', and in the 3 seconds that seemed like 3 hours, I had the presence of mind to ponder how I might explain this to her mother back at home and 4 year old son if things went sideways... but with a 38lb pack on myself and being a few feet behind, there was no way I could move fast enough to do anything but yell.

Luckily, mid-slide, she managed to grab a handhold just long enough to stop and get some footing. Crisis averted, but the damage was done. Wearing shorts, she was sporting some nasty road rash on her cheek and arm, but most of the damage was buffered by the hoodie she'd had tied around her waist. She was bruised, but she was lucky.

Feeling pretty roughed up, we opted to stay at Camper Bay instead and rolled in about 1pm where we washed and treated her ailing buttocks and gave her some much needed pain meds. Along came a few more groups and we felt a bit less sheepish learning 2 of them had also had the exact same experience. Pride slightly less wounded, we made some new friends for the chatter and laid back and chilled for the afternoon. On your parks provided trail map, you will see a small note in red pointing to BA 'B' (beach access B) that warns about a dangerous slope just past the surge channels after Owen Point. It's not kidding.

If you stay at Camper Bay, it's a lovely and large campsite with lots of room for everyone. However, it has a habit of getting very windy, like all the time, and the only time it's not is when the sun goes down. If you're early enough, grab one of the sheltered tent spots in the woods/taller grass along the creek side. It also has a rep for early morning rain and fog. Something about the geography here seems to create its own micro-environment. If you walk out along the beach at low tide and cross the creek to the north, you'll see some neat tidal pools and caves in the rock wall. In the one with the small pool of water you might see a single lonely fish with the pool all to himself. I hope one day the tide washes him in friend.

Reminiscing...

Ironically, day 2 in 2016 was also the day I had a mishap of my own. Tired and worn down, toddling  after Jenna across a log bridge the width of my car, I misstepped. My feet were somehow gone and in a second I found myself sitting on my ass, straddling the log instead of walking on it. I peered down into the 6 foot drop below. Completely in disbelief I suddenly realized Jenna was yelling at me "Are you OK?!" ... Yes! I was! I was ok. Nothing was broken, hurt or otherwise. But it was a wake up call. If you are tired, take a break, don't push on or try to keep up with someone faster. Only hike as fast as your slowest hiker and be patient. Take a breath and remember, the goal is no one dies out here... hopefully.

Gone Are The Days Of Legendary Mud And Tilting Ladders That Make You Poop ... Just A Little

The few days that followed are a bit of a blur. There's so much to see and so little blog space to include it all! We left Campers Bay on a foggy, rain mist morning at about 10am. Since we had to take the inland trail there was no worry about racing the tide on this stretch. We chatted with the couple we met the night before (Mat and Lauren from Calgary!). Everyone was a bit tired that morning.

Although we saw some mud, with a historic heat wave just prior to our trip in 2021, the legendary mud pits that the WCT has typically been known for were non-existent. In 2016 Jenna and I spent most of our inland trail time figuring out how to cross mud-holes, watching where each other stepped and trying not to fall in up to our armpits (I kid you not). This time, there was no mud and if you disagree with me, go again after it rains. I dare you.

This is also the section where we saw the most ladders, most notably through Cullite Creek, which was sadly such a trickle there was no need for the cable car, we just rock hopped across (with ease). We saw some really cool art done along the trail by the Guardians in the new bridge and log cuttings, some even signed their names! Have you tried making a curve with a chainsaw? I was impressed.

This section also has a neat and unique stretch of boardwalk that goes through a fragile wetland. Sections of the boardwalk were out, it looks easy, don't let it fool you!

A brand-spank'in new suspension bridge calls Logan Creek home! In 2016 Jenna and I had to climb a harrowing series of crazy, half-tilted ladders to get to the bridge. I recall my favourite as being the third ladder in a tower, that was so amazingly on a 10 degree angle sideways, and scaling it with my 50lb backpack. It was all I could do not to roll off and meet a perilous end at the bottom of the gully. Today the beautiful new bridge almost disappointed with the ease it took to cross it. NO more ladder climbing, you just walk up the stairs and off you go!

We arrived in Walbran Campsite at 5:30, the creek is perfect for swimming if it’s warm enough. Several groups had a run-in here with a couple breaking the fire ban policy. People on the WCT take this seriously, keep in mind if you start a forest fire here, there’s no where to go and it puts the homes of indigenous peoples at severe risk too. We all simmered, had a tasty meal, chatted with our travel companions, explored the beach a bit and turned in for the night, thoroughly exhausted.

We spent the next two days going from Walbran Campsite to Cribbs and then to Tsuisiat Falls. Due to a problematic and confrontational cougar in 2021 there is no camping permitted along the trail between kilometer 34 to 38. So, naturally, your last stop prior to Nitinaht Narrows is Cribbs Creek.

The Stretch from Walbran to Cribbs is basically all beach walk. The beach is lovely, but don’t let 'beach walk' fool you. It’s just as challenging to walk in sand as it is through forest... and you thought it was going to be easier, didn’t you?! It's like walking through snow without snowshoes and being 30lbs heavier...what a Canadian thought. But! Fear Not! along this stretch is also the famed Chez Moniques burger stop and the Carmanah Lighthouse! The lighthouses are closed to the public this year due to covid, but it’s still a sight to behold as it beams brightly through the fog.

The Legend That Is Chez Moniques

In 2016 Jenna and I made a critical, but common, food planning error. We packed meals based on what we felt was healthy and would give us energy, without accounting for taste. In other words, we packed a lot of dry lentil-based meals that tasted awful and took forever to cook and I couldn't have forced down my throat if you had paid me. I love beans, but dried lentils on the trail... yech! You can read more about our cautionary tale in my food section, and if you're uncertain about foods to pack, it’s worth the read!

So, sufficed to say, that year we had the absolute pleasure of experiencing Chez Moniques in it's prime. It was incredible. Here we were, in the middle of nowhere, exhausted, starving (I was anyway lol), and run off our feet. And out of nowhere arose this mirage of a tent with burgers, fancy meals, peach ciders and more! My god it was intense. We kicked off our boots, stuffed our faces, chatted with Monique, the legend herself, and I protectively cradled the best Okanagan Cider that had ever touched my lips while we waited for the tide to recede. It was magical.

Sadly, between 2017-2018 both Monique and her husband tragically passed away. It was a blow felt around the world by all those who had passed through their doors and experienced their generosity. There is a lovely documentary attributed to their memory here. Today, in 2021, following a devastating 2020 with no business, Monique & Peter's grand-daughter, Katrina Knighton is trying to carry on the dream though the restaurant will be renamed as Nytom. We heard lots of chatter and some hikers did actually see her in person, but unfortunately there are some struggles, including keeping up supply levels, which they are walking in for 1.5 hours (!). We missed them this year, as did many hikers, and I was so sad Krista would not experience it. But! They are rumoured to have services most often morning and around 5pm. Katrina is also very active on the WCT Facebook page, so feel free to drop her a line there for more info!

We arrived in Cribbs Creek at about 2:30pm. It was the end of our Day 4 and what a campsite it was. Lovely soft sand under your toes and beautiful beach. There is nothing here for swimming but we had the most amazing sunset view on the rock shelf that night. Although it didn't rain while we were on the trail, this was the first time we'd seen the sun since we left Victoria.

The Magical Beauty Of Nitinaht And  The Crab Shack Of Your Dreams

We left Cribbs Creek about 9am and stuck to mostly inland trail. Other hikers going the opposite way had warned it was very overgrown but we honestly had no problems with it; it was a little underused, but keep in mind they hadn't seen the south side yet. We made excellent time and arrived in Nitinaht Narrows at 1:09pm. The journey is absolutely stunning. There is a new bridge over the creek at Dare Beach and the forest walk is lovely. The bridge over the Cheewhat River offers great views also. You cannot take water from the river itself but after the bridge there is a freshwater stream marked by a wooden sign if you need it and soon you will come across an old Cabin. When you arrive here, turn around and see the new and amazing Ditidaht home across the river. It has changed a bit, likely with the drought, but in 2016 Jenna and I referred to this stretch as "the place that Disney films are based on". Ivy clung all the way up the trees and just as you wrapped your head around that, the trail winds it's way through a silent coniferous forest where you could almost hear a pin drop, followed by a magical wetland lake with flowering lilly pads the size of your head. But none of this compares to Nitinaht Narrows.

As you walk along the trail, just a few short minutes past the lake, the path will turn from boardwalk to dirt and as you round the bend you will suddenly walk, with no warning, right into Nitinaht! It has caught me by surprise each time. We strolled down the walkways to the dock, left our packs safely on the bench and made our way to the Crab Shack. The blue-green waters of Nitinaht Narrows is something to behold. When you peer over the side of the wharf you see schools of small fish so thick you could almost surely touch them. When I dream of paradise, I dream of here.

Nitinaht Narrows was only recently made an 'official' entry and exit point by Parks Canada in 2014, you can read more about it here. But prior to this, older community members witnessed the inception and rise of the WCT as we know it today and watched it grow. Ferrying hikers across the narrows has become a task handed down from generation to generation. Connected to the ocean, it has tides about 10 minutes apart and historically, many years ago, hikers did drown trying to swim across before getting swept out to sea, naively misjudging the calm-looking waters. About 3 kms past the narrows, the Ditidaht band offers comfort camping options to those looking to settle and day hike the trail or in need of a break from the grind. This is marked with a sign and you will see it on the trail. The crab shack itself has also recently built new cabins as well which start from roughly $100/night (houses 4 bodies and you use your own sleeping bag) and goes up to ($200 and $300) where bedding is provided. They also offer tent platforms for a modest $30/night fee.

The Nitinaht Crab Shack is owned and operated by the Edgar family. They are kind, light-hearted, hospitable and will make you the best meal you have ever had. They work extremely hard and have a great sense of humour. A family member told me the previous day they had served a group of 20 lunch all at the same time! Hippie-Doug was their ring leader that day and he manned the ferry, that took us across the narrows to complete our journey, along with a sweet old chocolate lab you will see in many a hikers' photos. If you catch him at a slow moment he might share a joke and and story with you. But don't leave until you have warmed yourself thoroughly by the wood stove, had the best meal this side of Canada and picked up some treats for the road. The ferry finishes for the day at 4:30pm and then Hippie-Doug settles in for a much deserved break, a meal, and maybe a drink, so don't be late!

Tsu-Tsu-Tsusiat!

We left the warming comfort of the Nitinaht stove at about 3pm and headed on our way. We saw our new friend and traveling tag-along Wilson off at the Ditidaht Comfort Camping site and continued on, arriving at Tsusiat Falls by 6:30pm. You can't see the falls from the beach, but if you reach the hole in the wall at Tsusiat Point, you're just minutes away.

In 2016, the first 5 days of our hike Jenna and I had the most amazing weather. On our 5th day, after the crab shack, while the sun beamed a balmy 25+ C, we ditched our packs on a slope of sand with gentler waters between Nitinaht and Tsusiat Point and ran into the ocean up to our knees, jumping the waves and being astonished at their strength. We laid on the beach afterwards and soaked in the sun. When I think of my little sister, I often think of this carefree day and smile. Enjoy the journey as you go, or you’ll miss the best parts.

Tsusiat Falls is a popular campground. When we arrived the beach was packed. According to 2021 Parks regs, you can only stay one night here to minimize environmental impact. The beach was very different from what I remembered, but the falls were ever glorious. We threw on bathing suites and while Krista enjoyed the brief sun, I took a dip in the beckoning water.

The next morning, with Krista not feeling hot, I'd aimed to get up early and walk back to the Hole In The Wall with my Nikon DSLR camera. When we passed by the day before it was high tide and the Hole was under sea water. However, after a delay, Krista decided to come with me. We packed up, left our bags at Tsusiat and strolled back to the hole together, and a better decision it was. I’d watched a group ahead of us pass through an hour ago, but beneath their tracks you could make out a fresh set of cougar prints. Since low tide was at 10am that morning, that means the tracks were very recent and could only have been made since the water receded. Food for thought.

Darling Bears You Might Be Cute, But I Don't Want To Snuggle

The last 2 days on the WCT (or your first two, depending where you start) are the easiest to hike and where you make up the most ground. We'd intended to land at Darling River Campsite (approx km 14), which from Tsusiat (approx km 25) would make it about an 11 km day. Most of our fellow travellers whom we had become familiar with were aiming for Michigan Creek though, which would add 2 km to our 6th day, but save us that on our 7th and final day out. We decided to see what the day held and if we arrived at Darling early we might continue on. WELL.... what the day held was not entirely what we expected.

In 2016 Jenna and I walked the beach hike between Tsocowis Creek and Michigan Creek. It had started to rain the night before and by morning was a light, but steady, downpour. We donned our rain gear but by noon, and halfway through our distance, it was clear that Jenna's rain jacket was not waterproof. Though she had tested it prior to leaving, it turned out not to be up to WCT-level rain. As we continued on poor Jenna got wetter and wetter and by the time we reached Michigan, she was soaked through to the bone. Water pooled in her boots, and she shivered so hard she couldn't help me with the tent. Realizing this could get worse quickly, I popped the tent, got her changed and snugged into her sleeping bag ASAP. Then I worked on adding a tarp. When the shivering stopped we got a warm meal into her and passed our time taking turns winding up our emergency radio and trying to maintain the faint signal from a long forgotten US talk station till darkness fell. It poured the entire next day as well for a total of over 24 hours straight and our photos at the Pacheena lighthouse are in plastic emergency ponchos.

In 2021 Krista and I opted for the inland trail as we'd previously made better time this way. There is lots to see here, another Donkey Engine and a rusty old grader, and I absolutely love the Billy Goat Bridge. The trail threw us for a bit at Tsocowis Creek, there, phantom branch-offs seemed to lead off and abruptly stop. You have to go down the ladders to continue the inland trail portion (OR access the beach). However, just passed Orange Juice Creek, it was quite clear this section of trail was not well used recently... by people anyway. It was eerily dark, overgrown and passed by what looked like long lost abandoned campsites in caves along the rock wall. As we passed by we heard something stir in the dim light, knocking over an old cup, and we nervously quickened our pace. We began to see pile after pile of fresh bear scat, some so fresh that by the time we reached Darling we figured we must be just behind it. Making a lot of noise we made our way to the beach and relief washed over us as we recognized people half a km ahead... our fellow Albertans, Mat and Lauren! But when they stopped suddenly and started to back up we knew something wasn't right.

Just ahead of them on the beach was our bear. And big guy he was! They figured a lone male. They managed to scare him off and once we caught up the 4 of us made our way as a group to Michigan Creek just down the beach where we figured there was relative safety in numbers.

Bitter Sweet Goodbyes

Our last day from Michigan to the Information Station at Pacheena was a super short one. We were the last hikers to leave Michigan at 8am and among the first ones (ironically) to reach the Parks office at 11:01am. The path is very well maintained and an easy hike. You'll also see a lot of day hikers here, many with dogs. Along the way are some cool sights you won't want to miss, so don't be too quick to rush out. The abandoned dirt bike isn't going anywhere fast anymore, but be sure to check out the sea lion rock just passed km 10. You may even hear them from the trail! Just before the sea lions you'll also pass by the Pacheena Lighthouse. Again, due to covid, you cant access the grounds but you can totally snap a quick pic! The area has so much bear activity Parks Staff joke about running 'bear daycare' here so be vigilant. Two wonderfully enthusiastic young ladies we met along the way carried an amazing tune; Im sure they must've charmed away any "would be" encounters.

In 2016 there was no km 1 sign on the trail and in 2021 there was still no km 1 sign lol. Both times I raced past km 2 and then later wished I'd taken a pic with it. You'll want it as proof! We walked the very last km along the beach, where firm sand makes for easy going. There were bear sightings of a mother and cubs here just before we arrived. We missed them, but were lucky enough to get some great foot-print photos. The very last bench you'll see on the trail is emblazoned with the word 'PARKS'. We sat here for an eternal minute and took some photos. As we strolled towards the Information station I couldn't believe it was over again so quickly.

Looking back, even after time number two, it feels more like a dream. The first time I walked off the trail in 2016 I eagerly anticipated a hot shower, was thoroughly disappointed at finding I had no quarters for to pay for one and I spent the 5 hour bus ride home starving and trying to sleep on a roller coaster. Perhaps not such a glorious end, but I realized I had achieved something few people would in their life time and of that I was SO proud of Jenna and myself. We did it.

When I arrived back at work Sharon had the most glorious little bouquet of flowers for me and she glued tiny cut out flags of all the major trail milestones to skewer sticks throughout. It brought tears to my eyes.... she told me this, "for a while, you will think to yourself, I am NEVER going back to that EVER again. And then, slowly, you will forget all the bad parts and the thought will creep in... maybe, perhaps, I might try it again... and you will find yourself looking it up once more". And she was right, I did. And I am so glad I did... I might even do it again.

[cfosborns]

would you look at harold osborn roaming around the avenger’s tower! they’re supposedly harry and work with oscorp, identifying as a civilian. they are around here often, so i wonder what’s got them here today. it’s  been said that they’ve been acting off for one month, so maybe it has to do with the tower. lets just hope the new york times doesn’t have much to say about them in the future.

( @rewrittenintro questionnaire and about under the cut! )

statistics:

name: harold theopolis “harry” osborn age: 23 faceclaim: gavin leatherwood  alias: harry powers/skills: harry has no powers, but is pretty intelligent, currently getting a graduate degree in chemical engineering. he’s skilled in science, math, and law, but his skills are almost exclusively academic. he also has money alliance: none threat level (out of ten):  three - harry is intelligent and has influential power through his family name, but lacks the physical powers and/or tactical gear to be a true threat. he’s also currently still a civilian, meaning he hasn’t taken on his father’s mantle (in fact, he’s completely unaware of it, if it even exists yet) history file  (link wiki):  1, 2, 3 notable changes from 2012 to the timeline they were pulled from: his dad’s been acting really strange lately, putting strain on their relationship. harry’s not sure what’s going on or why his father is acting this way, but their constant tension is really putting a toll on harry. last memory before ending up in nyc, 2012: getting ready to sneak into his father’s office, trying to find out what he’s been hiding from him.

questionnaire:

How are you feeling? Physically and mentally. “Well, I woke up hungover, if that tells you anything,” Harry joked, resting his head in his hand. “But in general, pretty alright. Classes are tough, but I wouldn’t exactly expect anything less.”

Where are you living? The same place you lived in 2012, or displaced to a random apartment? Explain to the best of your ability. “I’m living in an apartment near school. My dad originally wanted me to stay home, but it’s not like we can’t afford a place of my own, you know? Besides, he’s busy with work, I’m busy with school. It’s not like we would have seen each other, anyway.” His last sentence contained an almost bitter note to it, but the way Harry folded his arms across his chest indicated he wasn’t going to delve any deeper than he already had.

What do YOU think we should do about the situation at hand? Try to go back home? The original mission of stopping Thanos? Rewrite the entire story? Harry blinked in surprise. “What do you want me to do about it? I don’t know! I’m not like Spider-Man or anything. My specialty’s in air pollution, not doomsday, so time travel isn’t exactly my forte. Stopping Thanos would be nice, though.

What will you DO about the situation at hand? “Again, what am I supposed to do about it?” he asked incredulously. “I don’t have that kind of equipment. Honestly, I’m gonna get a head start on the work that took me years to finish, and hopefully by the time the Avengers figure this out, we’ll return to a much less polluted New York.”

Is there anything that you think needs to be done? “I don’t know. The physics of time travel or whatever weird space-phenomenon did this is outside my wheelhouse. I don’t know the first thing about what happened, let alone what’s going on.”

If need be, would you be willing to team up with the government and SHEILD to recoup and help the situation at hand? Harry scoffed, averting his eyes from the conversation. “I’m not the right Osborn to be asking that question to.” His dad had plenty of hands in the pockets of government agents, but whether he would offer Oscorp’s help, Harry wasn’t sure.

What are your worries? That I’ll fail mom. That dad will keep pulling away, or that he’s doing something stupid. That he won’t accept my research. All of these thoughts flooded Harry’s mind at first, but he didn’t dare say them out loud. All he answered, with a low voice, was, “That things could get worse.”

What do you think are the pros about this situation? “I mean, if there is a bright side, it’s that I have the knowledge to get my research done sooner.” Harry finally smiled. “I know it sounds selfish, but the sooner I can get this right, the sooner we’re on our way to a New York not plagued by air pollution. Is that really so bad?”

Anything else? “Yeah, have you seen Peter? I think I left my keys at his place. Or, I hope I did, otherwise I’m screwed.”

about:

harry osborn is the only child of norman osborn, founder and ceo of oscorp, an industrial giant with fingers in just about every pie, from the medical field to up-and-coming technology. 

his mother, emily osborn, was an environmental lawyer, who harry looked up to for her strong convictions and her compassion. she died when he was thirteen from oshtoran syndrome, a rare genetic disease. harry worries he might have the same genes, and hopes they remain dormant.

had some acute lonely rich kid syndrome growing up, but this got better as time went on and he went to college aka got more autonomy

his mom is part of the reason he was inspired to pursue an advanced degree in chemical engineering. his current focus is on finding a way to decrease/eliminate air pollution in NYC

this is part of what’s been causing some strain on his relationship with his dad, who harry is realizing might not be on board with harry’s ideas (for selfish reasons)

is also interning at oscorp while he's in school (and being groomed to take over for his father)

harry is also unaware of his dad’s true intentions or identity (aka if norman is currently/becomes the green goblin, harry has no idea)

still wants to fix his relationship with his dad because he’s the only family he’s got (if anything happens to his family he Will Go Apeshit because he already lost his mom when he was young he can’t lose his dad too) 

has yet to realize he’s actually good at/big into revenge (a trait he got from his dad, but he’s yet to be in a situation where that’s really required on a dangerous scale)

doesn’t realize his blindness to the feelings of others (and thus his potential to hurt others depending) when he’s blinded by his own strong emotions

has yet to uncover his father’s identity, spider-man’s identity, or feel blindsided by both. there’s definitely potential to take on his father’s mantle, or maybe this time around, things will be different. but the apple never falls far from the tree...

ooc:

( this harry is pulled from a few different sources of media, mainly comics, the spider-man ps4 game, and the 00′s spider-man films. some creative liberties were taken since he isn’t an extremely fleshed-out character in the modern adaptation he’s in and he’s had many different arcs throughout the comics )

[ikesenlemonadestandstories]

Level 32

Oh my gosh I didn’t think I was going to ever finish this! My week has been insane! Hope you guys are all doing well, enjoy the update :)

Tagging: @loudartanimeeclipse, @ihavenotfallenyet

Master List Here

Happy Reading Honey Bees! <3

Level 32

It had been a productive couple of weeks, excited over the recent developments you took off for home, hoping Edo would be online. Your research was going well, but you’d managed to have an intelligent conversation with the super cute doctor at work, and you had to tell someone. Sure, Edo was one hundred percent not going to enjoy the gossip, but you were sure he’d listen or at least pretend to.

With your game console turned on, you put in an order for a pizza and made your way to the couch to get comfortable. Not even five minutes had gone by before you got a rush of notifications on your phone, all thanking you for signing up for the partner’s battle tournament that was happening tomorrow. Confused and concerned, you stared at your phone, wondering if there had been a glitch, or worse, someone you were trying to avoid has signed up and listed you as their partner without saying anything.

Crap.

You couldn’t log on faster, the moment the game loaded you dove into your game’s notifications looking for clues on who could have possibly signed you up. Then your controller vibrated off of your lap.

EdoPorcupine5661 → Hope you’re free tomorrow. If not we’ll find a time to destroy my meddling friends… Well that may solve one mystery ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → There’s more than one? Yes actually. First question ← WildCyt0m3try What meddling friend do I need to thank with a smack? ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → OneEyedDrag0n, turned around for five minutes… Sounds like a wonderfully chaotic friend you’ve got ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → That’s one way to put it. Next Question! What were you going to do if I wasn’t free???? ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → Forfeit? That would have been the only option….any other questions… What’s our plan? ← WildCyt0m3try

For the better part of three hours, you and Edo put together a strategy that would hopefully cover all your bases. Not that you could predict what every other player was going to do, but you had the advantage of understanding what the major contenders were going to do, which would hopefully give you both a leg up in the tournament. It wasn’t until you had logged off and were crawling into bed that you realized you’d been so concentrated on purchasing new equipment and salves, telling Edo about your week had utterly slipped your mind. Oh well, maybe you’d be able to slip it in tomorrow.

When your alarm went off the next morning, your first thoughts were those of confusion. You didn’t have to go into work, did you? Aggravated, you smacked at your phone until the noise stopped, and you rolled yourself right back over in bed. It wasn’t until your eyes were closed, and you were nearly asleep again that you remembered you had a tournament to attend. Thanking the gods you didn’t have to be anywhere physically, you shot out of bed and ran down the stairs to turn on your console. While you are waiting for the login screen to pop up, you scrounge around your kitchen, looking for anything that would suffice for a decent breakfast. Finally, settling on a comically tall glass of chocolate milk and a bowl of your favorite cereal, you settled onto the couch and readied for battle.

EdoPorcupine5661 → I was beginning to wonder if you’d show. IM NOT THAT LATE OMG! ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → Oversleep? Coffee? Boyfriend? First off, good morning to you too sunshine ← WildCyt0m3try Secondly, I’m not late, so even if I did oversleep we’re good ← WildCyt0m3try Third of all. I DON’T HAVE A BOYFRIEND. ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → So you asked, and he got mad and ditched? Has anyone ever told you how pessimistic you are? ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → All the time. What about it? As long as you know lol ← WildCyt0m3try I’ll have you know, he said he knew we weren’t exclusive. ← WildCyt0m3try Said with how long it took for me to agree even to date he knew better ← WildCyt0m3try Then proceed to decide how much free time I was going to have based on work commitments ← WildCyt0m3try I forgot my chill pills that day so yanno...haven’t spoken to him in a hot minute ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → sounds like you What’s that supposed to me? ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → That you didn’t deviate from my perceived opinions about your character That literally sounds worse… ← WildCty0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → It isn’t, I just complimented you Pffff, if you say so ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 →  I do. Now let’s get ready. Roger that best friend ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → Stop No, you deserved that ← WildCyt0m3try Also, I mean it <3 ← WildCyt0m3try Now let’s kick some digital ass! I want that prize!! ← WildCyt0m3try

The tournament bracket was released early that morning. Your first battle wasn’t until round three based on their tiering system, and for that, you were grateful. Sure Edo had already come up with a pretty solid plan, but it was nice to see who you could potentially be facing. Fortunately, you knew OneEyedDrag0n wasn’t participating today, so you didn’t have to worry about being surprised by a wayward ax again. The plan was to trick people into being overly confident for as long as possible since Bow Knight and a Pegasis Knight didn’t look like a problematic duo to overcome. That’s why this was going to be fun.

After hours of competition, it boiled down to the final round. You weren’t sure if you were excited or terrified of this. Everything had gone according to plan; you had managed to keep the extensive and unexpected arsenal of weapons and magic hidden just long enough to get you through the less challenging rounds. If everything went the way you had expected it to, the two would be facing off against Kenshin and Sasuke, a formidable duo.

EdoPorcupine5661 → Ready? I think so? ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → Not good enough, you’re either ready, or you’re not. I’m ready then ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → Good

When the controller vibrated, signaling the start of the battle, you sucked in a breath. Part of the tournament was about getting around the map and collecting specific items. Navigating the map was easy enough with Edo a mounted unit and yourself a flier, but you didn’t want to get too cocky. Sasuke had picked up the lockpicking skill in his previous class, meaning he’d take any treasure he could get to without fail or need for a key, and Kensin’s unit had enough brute strength if your dexterity faltered once you were a goner.

The idea was to split up and take any treasure in your immediate area, once those were in hand the both of you would mount a generally weak attack on Kenshin. Sasuke would hopefully round back after completing the collection mission, which is when Edo planned to break off and corner him—leaving you to deal with Kenshin by yourself until Edo could take out Sasuke. The entire plan hinged on Sasuke being sent to open all the treasure chests and Kenshin being too excited to fight either of you.

Fortunately, it seemed to be working. Your fingers furiously tapped at buttons, trying to will the game into cooperating with your skillful button mash. It didn’t have to be pretty right now; it just had to be a useful distraction. When Kenshin finally landed a hit, you sucked in a breath; quickly, you ran the scenario. You were stuck between healing yourself or bet on your stats and take another crack at Kenshin.

Decision made, you closed your eyes and held your breath, hoping your lance would activate its ability. You didn’t want to look, having decided you’d keep your eyes closed until the next turn you waited. It wasn’t until your phone started vibrating off the hook you thought to look around. Kenshin’s avatar was no longer visible on your screen, and the more you looked, the more you realized that nobody’s stats were available anymore.

Oh gods, had your wifi crashed in the middle of the tournament? Panic rose in your chest, but it was shut down quickly when WINNER flashed across the screen in bold. What? That couldn’t be, right?

EdoPorcupine5661 → Well done Thanks? I honestly don’t know what happened though ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → I hit him with a long-range bow skill, and you delivered a critical hit Oh, really? ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → Don’t believe me? Not really. ← WildCyt0m3try I’m convinced this is a fever dream ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → Who’s the pessimist now? Still you ← WildCyt0m3try It will always be you lol ← WildCty0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → Whatever EdoPorcupine5661 → Don’t forget to accept the prize money I wont ← WildCyt0m3try This was fun. It’s been a good week ← WildCyt0m3ty EdoPorcupine5661 → I guess it has EdoPorcupine5661 → I’m getting off now Same, enjoy your evening! ← WildCyt0m3try Eat something fun to celebrate :) ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → Sure EdoPorcupine5661 → you too I guess…. Awe, you do care!! ← WildCyt0m3try EdoPorcupine5661 → Whatever

[hispeculiartreasure]

All We’ve Got is Time - Chapter Seven | B.B.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

AU: If They’d Survived/Post-War/Window Washer!Bucky Barnes

Rating: Teen

Word count: 4,783

Chapter 7/24

Warnings: Strong language, bit of family tension

AN: Thank you for being so patient with the arrival of this chapter! The extra week gave me the time I needed to muddle through some research-heavy chapters so I can hopefully keep the ball rolling with my scheduling. This chapter was a big one for me since it involved weaving canon and my original thoughts in regards to Bucky’s family. Once I realized Bucky’s museum display in CA:TWS listed him as the eldest of four, I couldn’t stop this specific family dynamic from coming out. Sidenote, the use of Rebecca was inspired by the comics, I promise I am not that vain, haha. Hope you enjoy this week 💕

Chapter Six

‘All We’ve Got is Time’ Masterlist

Ice cold water finally dislodges the last vestiges of sleep from Bucky’s eyes. Patting his face with a hand towel, he avoids looking himself in the eye as he checks the mirror for any patches of hair he may have missed while shaving.

He’s been awake for several hours but had finally dragged himself to the bathroom once the sun had risen. Being a weekend the house should be quiet for another hour or so before he had to put his “family face” on. But the moment the bathroom door creaked open the scent of Canadian bacon wafting from the kitchen proves him wrong.

For a moment he dons a tight-lipped smile until he sees his mother’s familiar form in front of the stove. His shoulders instantly drop, his mouth moving into a genuine curl. She’s humming along to the small radio on the counter, an old Standard that takes Bucky back to moments just like this when he was two decades younger. Mother and son were often the first to rise on Saturdays, leaving a rare pocket of time to be shared just between them.

Winnifred Barnes had hardly changed since those days - besides the gray streaking her otherwise dark hair and a few extra lines around her eyes. Although years of raising four headstrong children and worrying about both a husband and son in battle - albeit different wars - would do that to anyone. She was the most gracious person he knew, forever keeping their door open to anyone who needed some love and a home-cooked meal.

He takes his place to the counter on her left, grabbing a freshly washed peach from a pile of them and bringing it to the cutting board.

“Good morning, James,” she warbles as she slides a pan into the oven.

“Morning, Ma.”

“Did you sleep okay, dear?”

He lifts a shoulder up and down in a small shrug before he grabs a knife to begin slicing. “About as well as usual. Ya know, it takes a real master to sneak through the house without me knowing.”

“Where do you think you got your covert skills? Your father is about as subtle as a gun.”

Bucky snickers. “You’ve got me there.” He slides the cut peach onto a platter before moving on to the next.

“You came in late last night. I trust you got your new friend home at a respectable hour?” she asks coyly between flips of her spatula.

“Ma-” he starts, a blush creeping up his neck.

“No explanation needed, you’re a grown man, but-”

“Don’t worry, you raised a gentleman. Escorted her to her door after dinner. Didn’t feel like taking the subway so I walked home.”

“I never thought otherwise. Oop, you missed some shaving cream.” Winnifred brings the corner of her apron up to swipe at Bucky’s ear before resting a palm to his cheek. “I’m enjoying seeing this handsome face of yours without all that facial hair. And seeing you smiling more often has been a treat as well. I trust this friend is the reason for both?”

“Maybe.” Bucky clears his throat as he grabs another peach. “I like her a lot,” he admits quietly.

“Had a feeling when you asked where I bought my flowers for the table you had to be at least a little taken with her.”

“She loved them, by the way. Thanks for your help.”

“Anytime, darling. I’m assuming you’ll see her again soon?” Kind eyes twinkle with a hint of hope.

“This afternoon, actually.” He gestures to a small carton of fruit. “Want me to slice the raspberries after these?”

“If you don’t mind. Then maybe get the coffee started?” she checks the grilling meat one last time before moving it to a plate, new cuts slipping into the pan moments later.

“Yes ma’am.”

They work side-by-side in silence for a while, humming tunes and bumping elbows every so often. These moments of peace were hard to come by in the house, but they both savored Saturday mornings cooking in tandem.

“If your father gets up, grab the paper and take a seat. Don’t want him getting onto you again. I can manage the meal by myself.”

“If he wants to say something about me doing ‘women’s work’ then he can. I don’t care. Someone had to help you with three other kids while he was in his study smoking cigars.”

“James,” his mother reprimands tenderly. “Despite his flaws, your father is a good man who has always made sure his family’s needs were met. Especially when you weren’t around. Oh!” she spins toward the oven. “My brioche!” Carefully she coaxes the pan of bread out of the oven and onto a cooling rack.

Bucky plates the last of the raspberries before moving to the coffee maker. “Well at least I’m around to contribute now. Being able to help with the bills and all.”

“We don’t really need your money, you realize that, right?”

“Whaddya mean? You said it was helpful.”

With one hand on her hip and the other resting on the counter, she turns to her son. “And it is, don’t get me wrong. But we are very comfortable. If you have an opportunity to be out and on your own, then I think you should take it. It’d be good for you. I think distance would be good for the relationship between you and your father as well.” Bucky hides his scowl behind a cough. “Besides, your youngest sister will be out soon, while Rebecca is looking into an apartment. . . we’ll need to downsize anyway. Promise me you won’t stay here for us?” A touch to his shoulder forces him to meet her eyes.

“Okay, I promise.”

A new, yet very familiar, voice enters the conversation. “What’re you promising this time, Buck?”

Bucky flashes a grin at his sister over his shoulder, “That you’ll pay our parents back for that vase you broke the summer of ‘29.”

If looks could kill Rebecca Barnes would have been a master assassin. She gives him a pinch to the arm before opening the refrigerator to bring out a bottle of milk. “I seem to remember you being left in charge that day, being the eldest and all.”

“Then you remember the absolute chaos of me trying to boss around three younger sisters.”

“Still, you were responsible for the household. A mistake Ma constantly repeated.” Becca smirks, hazel eyes shimmering with mirth.

Bucky would never admit outright that he had a favorite sibling. Having only two years’ distance in age was bound to draw them together as they grew older. Had it sparked many fights through their adolescence? Absolutely. But it was amazing what high school miseries could draw a brother and sister together. They’d spent last night on the back porch, Bucky telling her all about you over some booze he’d smuggled into the house. Becca was one of the few who didn’t treat him like a wounded animal after he’d gotten home from the war. They were able to slip back into their normal routine like they’d never missed a beat. She worried about him, but made sure to voice her concerns rather than watch him with a critical eye.

“C’mon, you have a big girl job now, you can afford to replace it.”

“Kids, that was over 15 years ago. Let it be.”

Becca mutters, “Jesus, we’re getting old.”

“Rebecca Louise!” Winnifred chortles in horror. “Watch your mouth.”

“Sorry,” she apologizes quickly, sharing an amused glance with her brother as he hands her a mug of coffee.

Another set of heels approaching the kitchen signals the next Barnes woman’s appearance.

“Good morning, Evie,” Bucky greets his youngest sister cheerily.

“It’s Evelyn, Bucky.” She fusses with the buttons on her dress before squinting in her brother’s direction. There was no questioning that she’d grown into a beautiful and intelligent young lady during his absence. The signature Barnes dark hair combined with creamy pale skin and bright blue eyes made for an arresting presence that commanded the attention of each room she walked into. Every time he looks at her he can’t help but see the 14-year-old he hugged goodbye before he left for England.

“I can’t call you Evie anymore? Why not?”

“It’s the name of a little girl, I’m almost done with high school now.”

“You’re still my kid sister,” he slid a cup of coffee her way as she sat down at the kitchen table.

“I’m not a kid anymore, Bucky.”

“So you’d be fine if I said you had to start calling me James now?”

Evelyn arches a brow. “If that’s what you wanted, yes.”

An elbow in the ribs from Becca interrupts his next statement before a knock on the front door sounds. “Come in!” all four of them shout toward the door.

“It’s me!” echoes the voice of the only Barnes child not currently living in their childhood home. Rose waddles into the kitchen, a hand resting on her protruding stomach. “Good morning, everyone.”

Each of them mutters their own greeting, ending with Winnifred kissing Rose’s cheek and rubbing her belly. “And good morning to my precious first grandbaby too.”

“Ma, you’ve got a good few months before you get to meet them.”

“It wouldn’t hurt for them to get used to the sound of their grandma’s voice, would it?” Rose giggles as she sits in her usual seat at the table.

“How ya feeling?” Bucky asks.

“Alright, I think. I can already tell this summer heat is going to be unbearable. Not looking forward to only getting bigger from here on out.”

With a warm smile and commiserating nod, Bucky brings the pot of coffee and platter of fruit to the middle of the dinette as Becca sets the table with plates and utensils. “Looks like the Barnes girls are all dressed up and rarin’ to go. What’s going on today?”

“Shopping trip! We need to find Evelyn a new dress for her graduation in a few weeks,” Rose gushes - unsurprising coming from the shopper of the family.

“Especially since Robert will be there,” Becca teases over the edge of her coffee cup. The three older women in the room titter mischievously while Evelyn blushes.

Bucky’s brow furrows as he grabs the plate of bacon from his mother before returning to his seat next to Becca. “Robert’s this boy you’ve been talking about, right?”

Evelyn rolls her eyes in his direction. “My boyfriend, yes.”

“Possible future husband too!” Rose squeals, even after receiving a gentle kick under the table.

The hair on the back of Bucky’s neck stands up. “Wait, what?”

Immediately Evelyn sits ramrod-straight, the clench in her jaw screaming defiance. “We’ve been dating almost a year, it’s not like he’s a stranger.”

“Yes, he had a very long talk with your father after dinner last week,” Winnifred confirms as she slices the loaf of bread into even pieces.

Bucky can’t completely choke down his scoff. “You’re just kids, way too young to be thinking about getting married.”

“You didn’t kick up a fuss when Rose was getting married right out of high school,” Evelyn takes the fruit from Becca before scooping a few pieces onto her own plate.

“For one, I was in the middle of Italy when Rose got hitched. And that’s because John was about to be shipped off to join me. S’different.” Bucky piles more bacon onto his plate than necessary, needing to keep his hands busy for fear that he might start wagging a finger at his baby sister.

“It’s totally normal for people to be marrying younger now. The war made us all feel like time’s running short. Who knows what can happen tomorrow. Why take the risk of not being together?”

Just as Winnifred shed her apron to join them at the table, George Barnes enters the room, presence tall and arresting. Everyone pauses to say their ‘good mornings’, receiving a nod and low grunt in return. Winnifred places a steaming mug in his hand before kissing his temple. He smiles small before unfolding the newspaper his wife had left by his plate. Once his glasses are in place he may as well be in another world. They all know better than to engage him in conversation before his first cup of joe.

“Ma, are you tryin’ to tell me you’d be okay with Evelyn getting married soon?”

“James, it’s not up to me. If Evelyn feels ready, we all have to respect that,” ever the peacemaker of the family, Winnifred takes her place at the opposite end of the table from her husband.

“How is he going to support you? Does he have any idea what kind of work he wants to go into? Are you prepared to look for a job if his isn’t enough for rent? ”

“Easy, Buck,” Becca says under her breath.

“Well, that’s not your problem to worry about, is it Bucky?” If Evelyn was attempting to hide the disdain in her voice, she was doing a terrible job. The patriarch of the family thunks his mug against the table before reaching for the pot to refill it.

“Dad, you have to admit that Evie getting hitched is a bad idea,” Bucky appeals to his father.

“Evelyn,” she grits out, cheeks pink.

“The way I see it, it’s one less mouth for me to feed. And as long as the boy has a good head on his shoulders and good intentions, I don’t see the harm.”

The youngest Barnes hums in satisfaction, serving Bucky with a wholly smug smile.

“You can’t be serious.” Bucky ignores another poke to the ribs from Becca.

“Well, James, by the time I was your age I was married with three children. By all accounts you’re the one who’s behind schedule with no prospects in sight.”

Bucky’s fist tightens around his fork. A kick to his ankle draws his attention to Becca, who subtly shakes her head; clearly trying to say, “Please not right now. It’s been a good morning.”

He huffs out a breath, thankful that his father’s eyes are still trained on the paper. “You may be surprised to know I’m not completely hopeless.”

Rose leans in and says slyly, “Now what does that mean?”

“Yes, James, what does that mean.” Bucky’s father has set the paper down, reading glasses dangling from his fingers.

Why did I open my fuckin’ mouth. “I, uh-I have been on a handful of dates with a girl.”

“Ooooh, the secret comes out,” Evelyn teases, overjoyed at the chance to turn the tables on Bucky.

Rose claps, “That’s great news! Who is she? Do we know her? Is it that friend of Becca’s I always wanted you to date?”

Becca’s side-eye confirms he’s already painted himself into a corner. His mother stays blessedly quiet, keeping her promise not to discuss you with his father.

Don’t panic. Give ‘em broad details, they don’t need to know everything. “She just moved to the city. I met her at work about a month ago. We got to know each other, had our first date last week.”

“What’s she like?” Rose questions around a mouthful of brioche.

“She’s sweet. Always had time to smile at me when we bumped into each other. But she’s also got a mind of her own.”

His father drains his mug again before setting Bucky with a hard gaze. “She’s not a working girl, is she?”

Bucky can feel Becca tense next to him, gaze staying fixed to her plate. “What if she is?” Bucky starts, outrage for both Becca and you on the tip of his tongue when Winnifred clears her throat.

There’s a warning in her gaze that does not translate to her sweet tone. “You should invite her over for dinner one Sunday night. I’d love to meet her.” The girls chime in their agreement, all three of them eager to see who finally caught their brother’s eye for the first time in years. “Speaking of Sunday dinner, will John be home in time to make it, Rose?”

Bucky took the shift in focus as an opportunity to take a breather while Rose prattles on about her husband’s government job and how his schedule was always changing. Thankfully the rest of the meal passes uneventfully, the girls gathering up the dishes to be washed promptly.

While the kitchen bustles to life, Bucky slips from the table to tie on his shoes before his father can make an attempt at conversation. He grabs a rusty toolbox from the floor next to the coat rack before popping back in to tell his family goodbye.

“Where you going?” Evelyn asks, a little too nosey for his taste.

“Steve’s.” Bucky gestures to case in his hand, “Gonna take his toolbox back.”

“Thank goodness,” Winnifred groans. “Hold on, let me pack him some biscuits and that strawberry jam he likes.” Obediently, Bucky waits as his precious mother tied up a handful of baked goods and a small jar of jam in a napkin.

“Bye, Ma,” he kisses her cheek. “Don’t hold dinner for me, I’ve got plans.”

“Going out with Steve and Peggy again?” Becca chimes in.

Becca knew full-well what his plans were. “No, I uh, have another date.”

Rose’s eyes grow as wide as the plate she’s washing. “With the same girl?”

Halfway out the front door Bucky hollers, “Uh-huh. You gals have fun shopping!”

“But Bucky-!” He hears as he firmly draws the door closed. He huffs out a sigh with a hand tugging at his hair before he starts on the familiar walk to Steve’s.

He berates himself for letting his father get under his skin enough that he let out the sweet secret of you. The last thing he wanted was his family nosing around his dating life before he was even sure of what this new relationship was.

It was too late now. He’d opened the door and an entire damn circus was charging through.

Letting his thoughts drift to happier things, Bucky reflects on last night’s date. You had looked exquisite in a maroon dress, lipstick the perfect matching shade. He’d picked out a simple diner for supper where you both admitted you felt much more comfortable. He kept his promise to share about his time serving in the military. Granted, he stuck to the most simple version, sparing you of the gritty details of blood, carnage, and capture.

You had been more merciful than he deserved. You read his cues well, changing the subject when he started getting emotional. Empathetic, kind - truly listening rather than waiting for your turn to talk. All he had to endure was a little teasing about Captain America being his closest friend. Even then, you were gentle. He’d walked you to your doorstep, lingering too long - trying to get his nerve up for a kiss. Disappointed in himself he settled for a peck to your cheek and hastily walked away, later commiserating with his sister over his jitters.

Before he knew it, Bucky was knocking on Steve’s door.

“‘Bout time you showed up,” Steve complains without a hint of malice as he opens the door of his apartment.

Bucky stands opposite of the blond, thoroughly unamused. “You’re the one who left your damn toolbox in our kitchen last week before up-and-disappearing for work. Well, you gonna stand there and let me freeze?”

“It’s almost May.”

“It’s the principle of the thing.”

Steve swings the door wide, waving Bucky in. “Thanks for bringing it back.”

“Ma’s been complaining about it being in the way for days, needed to get it out of the house.” Bucky sets the toolbox down in the living room next to a dilapidated dresser that was in desperate need of repairs.

“Sorry about that. How’s everything at home?”

“Alright. The girls are gearing up for Evelyn’s graduation. Dad is. . .Dad. By the way, Ma sent some biscuits for you.”

Steve smiles, peeking into the napkin before setting it down in the kitchen. “Strawberry jam, my favorite of hers.”

“Yeah, I’d say she knows you pretty well, ya moron.” Bucky grumbles, wiping a hand down his face. Steve notices he’s a little sluggish today, his walk more of a shuffle, the dark circles beneath his eyes more pronounced.

Steve knows he should mind his business.

But then again.

“Still sleeping on the couch?” Bucky nods. “Those cushions were uncomfortable when we were kids, I can’t imagine they’re better pushing 30.” Steve kneels by the box, rummaging to find the tools he needs.

“30 is almost a year away, I don’t wanna hear it.” Bucky takes up residence in an armchair close to where Steve begins to work.

Bucky likes Steve’s apartment. Forever army neat, Steve’s surroundings were kept meticulously tidy. The furniture was simple, utilitarian. He had what he needed and nothing more. The most ostentatious part of his home was the west wall of the living room that was completely taken up by bookcases. Floor to ceiling, left to right was all books. S framed wedding portrait of his parents hung next to the clock on the opposite wall, along with a snapshot of the Howlies and a photo of Steve and Bucky from their high school days. The home was in a good spot of Brooklyn, reminiscent of where they’d grown up; except much larger than what Steve had been accustomed to. Why he’d gotten a two-bedroom was beyond Bucky - Steve wasn’t exactly known for lavish spending. The SSR must pay Captain America well. If Bucky looked hard enough he could see hints of Peggy’s presence. The pillows on the couch, the tablecloth on the dining table, a rug set in the living room.

“The spare bedroom is still open, ya know. If the couch is killing your back.”

“I can’t afford rent right now.” Bucky pinches to bridge of his nose.

“You know that’s not a problem.”

“It’s a problem for me.”

“Stubborn ass,” Steve mutters under his breath.

Bucky only feels smug. “Says the pot.” He watches Steve wrestle a drawer out of the dresser before asking, “Where’d this thing come from, anyway?”

Steve exhales heavily. “Peggy saw it on a curb and thought it would go perfectly in my guest bedroom without considering why it was on the curb in the first place.”

“Why didn’t you tell her that? Why not her apartment?”

“I’ve gotta pick my battles.”

Bucky arches a brow. “Even when that lands you with a fucked up piece of furniture you’ve gotta fix?”

“Especially then,” Steve groans as he tugs another drawer free. The next time words are spoken is when Steve’s got his head in the interior of the dresser trying to discern why the drawers continued to jam. “You shaved.”

Bucky rolls his eyes. “You’re the fourth person to say that to me.”

With a shake of his head Steve emerges to grab a piece of sandpaper from the box. “Just different. Been a while. Can you give me a hand? Hold it still while I try to sand off this edge.”

He steadies the piece while Steve aggressively sandpapers one of the tracks. Resentfully Bucky mutters, “It hasn’t been that long.”

Steve pauses to look up at his friend. “Yeah it has.” Bucky grunts. “Don’t harumph me. You know I’m right.”

Quiet falls again as Steve works on, occasionally asking for Bucky’s help or thoughts.

This time Bucky breaks the silence. “I’ve been looking at other jobs. Trying to figure out what I wanna do when my GI benefits come through.”

“Oh yeah? What’re you thinking?” Steve’s moved the dresser to its side to address a crooked leg that set the whole thing off-balance. Bucky’s on the floor as well, back against the armchair waiting for further instructions.

“Maybe working on cars? Someone mentioned it to me and I think I might like it.”

“Huh, never heard you talk about that before.”

“It’s a new idea. One that has potential. Won’t be in an office, get to keep my hands busy. Be learnin’ something new.”

“Sounds almost perfect for you.”

“Could be. We’ll see. I’m gonna keep looking into it but it feels good to have some kind of direction to aim toward.”

Steve glances at Bucky with a glint in his eye. “You’re awfully chipper.” A beat. “Have anything to do with the girl?” Bucky says nothing. “Thought so. You gonna make me ask or are you going to volunteer?”

“I feel like you just asked.”

“Well you weren’t volunteering.”

Bucky leans forward, vaguely motioning to the bottom of the dresser. “I think this thing needs some more support, what if you added an extra beam here?”

“The date was that bad, huh?”

The misplaced sympathy finally forces the truth out of Bucky. “No. It was that good.”

Steve stills. “Seriously?”

“Yeah. We’ve actually been out a couple more times.”

Steve’s eyebrows fly up his forehead. “‘A couple times’? That date was a week ago and you’ve seen her again - several times - since?”

“Jesus, it’s not like I eloped, calm down.” Bucky can’t help prickling the tiniest bit.

“No, no, I. . .” he shuts his mouth, head bobbing. “That’s great, Buck. When’re you seeing her again?”

“In a few hours. She’s. . . the one who suggested cars. Gonna show me what she knows at a friend’s garage.”

“Where’d she learn about cars?”

Bucky can’t contain his smile. “Worked for Chevy during the war. Seems to know her stuff.”

“A mechanic? Sure could’ve used her when you stalled our jeep in Saarbrücken.”

“That was Morita and you know it. He’s always trying to fix things that aren’t broken. Speaking of idiots, thanks for telling DumDum about my date.”

“I--I, uh, what’re you talking about?”

“Don’t act dim, he called ahead at the restaurant and got us a special table.” Steve stutters several times in a futile effort to deny the accusation. “I thought better of you, flappin’ your lips like Old Ms. Johnson at the grocers.”

“I just-”

“What if that made her think I was some uppity snob?”

“Did it?”

“. . . no.”

“So no damage was done.”

“That’s not the point.”

“What is?”

“Just-” Bucky groans in frustration. “No one else needs to know unless it’s more than a date. Okay? I don’t want people thinking I’m chasing skirts and not taking life seriously.”

“I get it. I’m sorry. I’ll keep it to myself until you want people to know.”

“Thank you.” The small moment of tension dissolves and eases back into their familiar rhythm. Steve secures the leg correctly and the two of them set the dresser on its feet. Bucky hesitates then mentions quietly, “I did have a small. . . episode. . . that night. She didn’t treat me like I was nuts.”

“You okay?” Steve nonchalantly wipes dust and dirt from the surface but Bucky can feel the concern he’s trying to hide.

“It was a short one. But she got me out of there and let me be quiet for a sec before trying to distract me. Almost felt like she knew what I needed. Even my folks don’t know how to handle me when I get like that.”

“Seems to be someone worth hanging onto.” Steve slides the drawers back into the dresser one by one, running smooth on their tracks.

Responding with a hum Bucky crosses his arms. Again, he sees you stand up from the dinner table, eyes soft with kindness. He remembers how the click of your heels on the sidewalk gave him something steady to focus on while trying to dig himself out of bad memories.

“So when do I get to meet her?” Steve is all tease, looking to get a rise out of his friend. The last thing he expects is Bucky’s one word response:

“Soon.”

Bucky ignores Steve’s incredulous look. “Fuck, I thought you were going to say no. Didn’t think you were there yet.” He grabs one end of the dresser, nodding to the other end. “Help me move this?”

Huffing, Bucky complies, the pair lifting the piece together. “Why are you so fuckin’ worked up about this?”

Steve raises an eyebrow as he walks backwards down the hallway. “Because the last time I met someone you dated I was 5’6 and 110 pounds soaking wet.”

“We were both very different people then.”

“No shit, ace.”

They set the dresser down in the spare room opposite of the bed, making the space a little less sparse, slightly more homey.

Bucky sighs, looking down at his hands. “She’s a good one, Steve.”

“That’s not surprising. She’d have to be if you wanna keep her around.” Hands on his hips in satisfaction, Steve eyes the dresser. “Peggy’ll insist on meeting her too.”

“Yeah, pal, that’s what I’m worried about.”

Chapter Eight

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[aion-rsa]

Warrior Nuns Through TV History

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TV nunning is a broad church. Sometimes, it’s all gunfire, demon-dissolving punches and running through walls, as in Netflix’s latest comic book adaptation Warrior Nun. In that show, a mystical artifact gives a non-believing teen superpowers passed down the generations from holy sister to holy sister. Defeat the demons, protect the world, praise the Lord, and so on.

Other fictional TV nuns lead quieter, more cake-focused lives, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t also fighters. You might say that like superheroes, not all warrior nuns wear capes. You’d be wrong – nuns definitely wear capes. They’re called mantles and though roomy and practical, likely represent a significant time commitment with regard to ironing.

Warrior Nun‘s superpowered teen follows in the echoey footsteps of a whole conventful of fictional TV nuns remembered here – some good, some bad, some inordinately fond of biscuits, but all, in their own way, warriors.

Sister Mary Loquacious in Good Omens (2019)

Played by: Nina Sosanya

Allegiance: Satanic nuns of the Chattering Order of St Beryl

Warrior level: Novice

Weapon of choice: Infantilising baby talk of hoofikins and widdle demonic tails

Specialism: Biscuits with pink icing

Most likely to say: ‘Fancy me holding the Antichrist! Counting his little toesy-woesies!’

Getting into heaven? Absolutely not

Demon Crowley and angel Aziraphale may have been Good Omens’ major players, but Sister Mary Loquacious kicked off the whole mess by accidentally confusing the infant Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Prince of this World and Lord of Darkness with the human child of a couple from the Oxfordshire village of Tadfield. Easily done.

Sister Agatha in Dracula (2020)

Played by: Dolly Wells

Allegiance: The Army of the Faithful, St Mary’s Convent of Budapest

Warrior level: Intellectually? Top Tier. She’s Dracula’s ‘every nightmare at once: an educated woman in a crucifix’

Weapon of choice: Wooden stakes and double-barrel wit

Specialism: Scientific rigour and one-liners

Most likely to say: ‘A house of God is it? Well that’s good, we could do with a man about the place, eh sister?’

Getting into heaven? Ja, if she cared to grace it with her presence.

Unfazed, brave, funny and intellectually curious, Dutch-born Agatha put both her faith and folklore to the test when she took on Count Dracula, meticulously gathering research on his powers and learning the rules of the beast to try to use them against him. A true scientist and quite a woman.

Sister Michael in Derry Girls (2018)

Played by: Siobhan McSweeney

Allegiance: Our Lady Immaculate College/Rawhide

Warrior level: Untested in battle but doubtless lethal

Weapon of choice: Apathy, withering sarcasm and eye-rolls

Specialism: Judo (on Fridays)

Most likely to say: ‘Sweet suffering Jehovah’

Getting into heaven? I wouldn’t be the one to stop her.

You won’t find an ounce of sentiment beneath this wimple, Sister Michael’s dry disdain for the pupils at Our Lady Immaculate is expressed only through cutting remarks and declarations of boredom. Not a fan of priests, the French, love songs or… most things, she’s an authority figure for the Derry Girls. Every so often though, like when she turned a blind eye to Erin and co. distributing their banned lesbianism-focused edition of the school magazine, she’ll surprise you.

Sister Jane Ingalls in Orange is the New Black (2013)

Played by: Beth Fowler

Allegiance: Catholicism

Warrior level: Basically nil as she’s a committed pacifist, though she does punch Gloria in the mouth at one point for PR

Weapon of choice: Civil disobedience and the Good Book

Specialism: Activism

Most likely to say: ‘I was afraid nunning was going to be boring!’

Getting into heaven? Sure

As a young novice in the 1960s, Ingalls fell in with the bad nuns and got a taste for non-violent activism. A bunch of protests and a memoir later (full points for the title: Nun Shall Pass), and the church didn’t want anything to do with her, neglecting to cover her legal fees after she handcuffed herself to a nuclear facility, landing her in Litchfield.

Sister Harriet in Hunters (2019)

Played by: Kate Mulvany

Allegiance: Anti-Nazi, Pro-Quip

Warrior level: Top level. A highly capable operative.

Weapon of choice: Gun, blowtorch, you name it

Specialism: Threats of extreme violence delivered in the voice of a Downton Abbey marchioness.

Most likely to say: ‘I will set you aflame, child’

Getting into heaven? There’s some intrigue as to her real deal but she certainly seems to be on the right side of history.

This MI6 agent/Nazi-hunting nun from Amazon Prime’s Hunters is something of a Scary Poppins. She does an excellent line in death threats and action-movie quips. She’s deadly, has a shady backstory, speaks in a cut-glass English accent and is fond of biscuits. In other words: our kind of nun.

Matron Casp in Doctor Who ‘New Earth’ (2006)

Played by: Doña Croll

Allegiance: Sisters of Plenitude

Warrior level: Merciless eugenicist

Weapon of choice: Cat claws and science

Specialism: Incinerating conscious and begging-for-help human cloning experiments without a spark of fellow-feeling.

Most likely to say: ‘Who needs arms when we have claws’

Getting into heaven? Nah. Space prison more like.

The Sisters of Plenitude, healers on New Earth, may have called their work ‘the tender application of science’ but ‘the incredibly painful application of bastard cruelty’ better sums up their human cloning farm. This order takes a lifelong vow to help and mend, but clearly not to do no harm. And their hospital doesn’t even have a shop.

Abbess Hild in The Last Kingdom (2015-)

Played by: Eva Birthistle

Allegiance: Uhtred of Bebbanburg/the Lord

Warrior level: Advanced (but retired)

Weapon of choice: Dagger

Specialism: Throwing buckets of cold water on a sleeping Uhtred and sawing through the necks of dead Danes

Most likely to say: ‘I have killed, and I will kill again I’m sure, but hopefully not today’

Getting into heaven? Big yes.

Hild’s journey in The Last Kingdom took her from nun to warrior and back again. Rescued from attack by Uhtred, Leofric and Yseult, she swore to become a fighter and more-than earned the title. Eventually, her vocation called her back to the church, where she now remains as the Abbess with whom you don’t mess.

Sister Jude in American Horror Story: Asylum

Played by: Jessica Lange

Allegiance: Catholicism and the teachings of Monseigneur Timothy Howard

Warrior level: Complicated

Weapon of choice: Forced commitment to an insane asylum,

Specialism: Guilt

Most likely to say: ‘All monsters are human’

Getting into heaven? Bad things happened under her watch but she does try to atone

The head of Briarcliff, an institution for the criminally insane, Sister Jude is a complex character with a complicated trajectory. She mistreats, but is also also gravely mistreated.

Sister Monica Joan in Call the Midwife (2012-)

Played by: Judy Parfitt

Allegiance: Raymond Nonnatus, patron saint of childbirth

Warrior level: Yoda

Weapon of choice: Forceps and fey literary quotation

Specialism: Sniffing out and emptying hidden cake tins

Most likely to say: ‘My first responsibility is to ensure the consumption of this cake’

Getting into heaven? Hundo P

AKA the best Call The Midwife nun, and an OG resident of Nonnatus House ever since the BBC One series began. Owing to her advanced years and developing dementia, Sister Monica Joan is now retired from midwifery, but in her prime there wasn’t a birth canal in Poplar that hadn’t welcomed her up to the elbow. She’s highly educated and extremely well-read with an instinctive love of beauty, poetry, cake and Doctor Who, which makes her the patron saint of all our hearts.

Sister Sybil in Camelot (2011)

Played by: Sinéad Cusack

Allegiance: Shady but ultimately loyal to Morgan

Warrior level: Witch

Weapon of choice: Dark magicks

Specialism: Child sacrifice?

Getting into heaven? Nah.

When Uther Pendragon banished his daughter Morgan in Chris Chibnall’s 2011 Camelot, she was raised in a nunnery by a sister who was no stranger to the dark arts. When Morgan (played by Eva Green) returned to claim her birthright, Sister Sybil was the one whispering poison in her ear and teaching her how to channel her powers.

Sister Bertrille in The Flying Nun (1967)

Played by: Sally Field

Allegiance: El Convento San Tanco in San Juan

Warrior level: Negligible

Weapon of choice: Not so much a weapon, but her flight-enabling cornette was the big thing.

Specialism: As the title suggests, flight

Most likely to say: ‘When lift plus thrust is greater than load plus drag, anything can fly.’

Getting into heaven? Si señor.

A creation of Tere Ríos’ book The Fifteenth Pelican, Sister Bertrille was the fresh-faced nun-next-door whose cornette combined with the Puerto Rico coastal winds allowed her to fly in the 1960s TV series. According to Sally Field’s excellent memoir In Pieces, the whole experience was more drag than take-off.

Miss Clavel in Madeline (1988-2001)

Voiced by: Judith Orban & various

Allegiance: An old house in Paris/the Catholic church

Warrior level: more sentry than prize fighter

Weapon of choice: Education! (Read: day trips to the circus)

Specialism: Waking up in the middle of the night with a nagging sense that something’s off kilter with her young schoolgirl charges, then singing a song about it.

Most likely to say: ‘Vite, vite mes petits’

Getting into heaven? Mais oui

The headteacher at Madeline’s Parisian boarding school in the Ludwig Bemelmans’ books and their various TV and film adaptations, Miss Clavel is a kindly sort. She gives her young boarding school pupils warm moral instruction and generally manages to extract Madeline from the mouth of whatever tiger she’s crawled inside that week. Not ferocious, as warriors go, but kind and dependable.

Septa Unella in Game of Thrones (2015)

Played by: Hannah Waddingham

Allegiance: The Faith of the Seven

Warrior level: High Bastard

Weapon of choice: Wooden spoon and ignominy

Specialism: Torture and bell-ringing.  

Most likely to say: ‘Confess!’  

Getting into heaven? Not in one piece she won’t after what Cersei did to her

The Geneva Convention didn’t reach the Seven Kingdoms. If it had, then the supposedly holy Septa Unella wouldn’t have beaten Cersei Lannister with a water ladle and made her drink from the floor like a dog before parading her naked to jeering crowds around the city. Not a nun to mess with, unless you’re a Lannister.

Also-Nuns

Sister Assumpta in Father Ted (1995)

Sister Boniface in Father Brown (2013)

(Briefly) Olive in Pushing Daisies (2007)

Mother Superior in Avatar: The Last Airbender (2005)

Kassia the Byzantine nun in Vikings (2019)

Warrior Nun is available to stream now on Netflix.

The post Warrior Nuns Through TV History appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[popculturebuffet]

Jake Reviewcaps Stuff: X-Men Evolution: The X-Impulse

Two of the series most popular characters, and one of its’ more popular ships: Jean and Xavier try to lead kitty away from charming asshole Avalanche whose trying to use her for crimes, but have trouble due to having taken stupid pills before this episode. Meanwhile Kurt and Scotty follow Logan as he confronts Sabertooth for the first time and gets cars thrown at him. No really. Abusive Romance, Flying Cars, and probable Gilmore Girls refrences under the cut. 

So yeah i’m doing another one already. This pace MIGHT slow eventually, as I want to get through the show faster.. but this episode gave me a ton of material to work with so I wanted to strike while the iron was hot. So as I mentioned last time the show started with slowly shoveling characters in one at a time, giving each time for focus and to breathe a bit. So with Nightcrawler and Toad out of the way it’s time for Shadowcat and Avalanche.. who happen to be one of the biggest ships for this show.. and also one some don’t like. Me, i’ll form an opinon as I go as I don’t remmeber much of them together other than him trying to join the x-men in one episode, so we’ll see. For now it’s time for some X-Impulse. Wait isn’t impulse dc? Is there a marvel character named that too? 

Yup there is! Two in fact, but somehow one is x-men related. This is impulse a member of the Shiar imperial guard I entirely forgot about because there’s like 40 or 50 diffrent members and he’s not one of hte more promeinet ones. For those who’ve never heard of these guys there the elite superpowered muscle for the Shiar Empire, an intergalactic empire whose former empress Charles Xavier dated for a while after dethroning her brother and who serve either as allies to our heroes or people for them to beat up depending on if someone sane is in charge that day or not, and who often have members killed to show off some new baddy, hence why there’s been three impulses apparently.

 Their based on the less military, more heroic and more fleshed out if still hugely sized,  legion of superheros from dc, which Guard co-creator David Cockrum was one of the  most famous artists for and originally actually CREATED Nightcrawler as a legionnaire, but he was rejected for being too demonic and thankfully recycled into the rougish religious elf we know today. The Guard were as far as I can tell made as a wink and a nod toward that and a gentle jab at the competition and is far from the first or last time either side would make characters based on the other side. I also bring up the Shiar because despite being a sizeable part of the X-Men mythos in the comics.. they’ve BARELY been used outside them. Cartoon wise only the 90′s series used them, though to be fair....

Given Evolution had both hinted at exterterstials apparently, and was planning on doing the Phoenix Saga in season 5, so they MIGHT have used them eventually, but I somehow doubt it and WOlverine and the X-Men didn’t live long enoguh to even consider it. As for the movies they were considered too ungrounded for them and thus were basically exiled from appearing on film for 20 years. Now the Shi’ar aren’t perfect characters, the fact before he took the throne himself Gladiator would just obey whatever assshole took the reigns due to some misguided loyalty didn’t help, but they could be used intrestingly and the guard are at least intresting in a fight, so it is a shame they couldn’t be used till recently and hopefully with the fox merger the mcu will put them to use at some point. Also for those curious if they showed up in any other cartoons.. nope. According to wikipedia, their mentioned in Avengers; Earth’s Mighteist Heroes (Which will also be covered here some day) and Legion (probably too though also probably not episode by episode if I do), and show up in two of the video games, with Ultimate Alliance being the biggest role outside of the 90′s cartoon from the looks of it, having the well, alliance, head to shiar space to get the mkrann crystal and battle with the guard and deathbird. Anyway, i’ve spent enough time on this weird sidebar, let’s get on with the actual episode!  We open with a pretty good scene. We meet Kitty Pryde, your average teen whose having a weird flying nightmare.. emphasis on weird as it is a bit wonky, but the idea is fine enough.. as is the result where she finds herself having fallen to the basement and FELT it, her panicked parents coming down and Kitty only being able to sob about having fell, her mom putting it off to sleepwalking.. until her dad notices her pillow and blanket fused into the celing above, which only makes the poor girl more upset. It’s a good, tense scene and a reminder that wether your mutant powers are benign or not.. having them awaken can still be traumatic as hell, and uses this world NOT having them be a public concern well: Kitty has NO IDEA what’s happening to her, no one to turn to and is understandabily terrified. For all she knows her body is breaking down and she might not be tangible again, not an unresonable fear given her comics counterpart once ended up in that very situation due to taking some heavy damage in battle from an energy charged harpoon.. from a guy named harpoon because even Claremont had an off day with names sometimes. My point is it’s a very good scene. Naturally Charles notices from cerebro.. and with a weird computer thing that somehow fully researchs who she is because tha’ts not creepy, but It is somewhat understandable. Cue the credits.  We then get a REALLY pointless throwaway scene with Kurt, now having’ been at school for long enough to be late several times apparently, late again and running into Mystique, in her guise as principal before Scott thankfully rescues him. Why Mystique is confronting her son like this I dunno, but what I really don’t is why this scene is here at all. It could’ve easily been replaced with a throaway line about Charles only wanting to have one student miss midterms or not wanting to arouse too much suspcion with the facultiy by taking too many of the kids out of school. Instead we just get this scene to establish their home. And yes they could’ve just needed to fill out the episode.. but there’s plenty of ways, that i’ll mention later, this minute of screentime could’ve been used better and we really didn’t need a whole scene of them to set up that they’d be home for their subplot this episode.  Back in scene’s that actually matter, Kitty is trying to sneak off to school but her mom stops her, with her family apparently having agreed to keep her home but Kitty just wants some normalcy and her family won’t even talk about it, so her mom relucntantly agrees. I can’t blame Kitty: even if it’s a terrible idea to go to school while she has no idea what’s happening to her and can’t control it as far as she knows.. she’s also a scared kid whose body is changing in ways she can’t fully grasp, and unlike puberty, which mutation is a mild metaphor for, there’s no deep years of study on it or how it changes a body: she has no idea what’s going on and just wants to grasp onto SOMETHING normal while she’s clearly not. It’s some well done character stuff.  Meanwhile  Jean and Chuck are on their way to what i’m assuming is that same old place, sweet home Chicago since that’s where Kitty is from in the comics and they had to fly there anyway. Jean questions why her.. out of the three junior x-men so far she’s the least intresting. Charles explains he thinks she can reach Kitty which.. makes some sense. Jean is uber popular at school, easy to get along with and endlessly nice, so she’s a good choice. Another likely part of it, and why not scott, is scott’s powers: it’s a lot easier to sell her parents on powers doing good with someone who can lift objects versus someone whose constantly cursed to never open his eyes, and this way kurt has his buddy back home so he dosen’t feel lonely his first time without his new dad. Now granted I question why STORM didn’t come with them, as she seems like a good choice and it’d be a nice nod to her bond with kitty in the comics, but I suspect it was simply easier to just have two x-men to focus on. Maybe she was busy getting Evan for two episodes down the line...

So then we get.. Charles being really, REALLY dumb.. like out of character dumb. See in the comics when the X-Men came to recurit kitty, they all came in civlian clothes, though ironically Jean wasn’t with them for the initial meeting because even more ironically she, Scott and Kurt were split off into their own group to try and recruit Dazzler, and Charles was nice and polite about it and promoted the school as well. a school. Granted Kitty’s parents didn’t know about her phasing here and Emma Frost was also trying to recurit kitty for HER school for gifted youngsters.. but still, there’s NO reason for Charles not to use that sort of pitch to get into the door, especially since as we learn in the scene after this Kitty’s a straight A student, retaining her deep intelgence from the comics, so there’s an easy foot in the door before he drops the mutant part in. Instead he just casually mentions he tracked her that he’s diffrent and comes off really fucking creepy and naturally they say fuck no to that. LIke.. how do they know he’s not with the goverment or forming a teen militia or just a pedophile who happens to be a mutant.. they do not and their already scared. So chuck gets a well earned door to the face. And thus I get to introduce a new running gag: The Chuck, you Blockhead, Count,. Now granted the obvious name may be the xavier is a jerk count, which i’ll probably also do but that’s more for being an asshole, like he often is due to poor writing or currently pragmatisim in the comic. No no this is for when Chuck is just out an out an idiot. Plus I love a good Charlie Brown refence so Chuck,  You Blockhead Count: 2 It’s at 2 since we also have last episode where Toad showed up with his own uniform, and attacked kurt.. and Charles did nothing and questioned nothing about that. And now I mentioned that other count Xavier is Jerk Count: 1 The Scott thing is more in character but for having his test be.. have a grown woman chase a teenager with Lightning. Storm was involved too but I doubt she’ll be an asshole as much so she’s safe for now. So having throughly botched it Xavier decides to have them split up, gang: Xavier will go to social services to find out more about lance since he’s an orphan, while Jean will infiltrate the school. Now while watching this I questioned why no one in school at all questioned a random teenager they never met roaming the halls.. but odds are jean just used her telepathy to either make anyone who saw her think she belonged there or masked her self from them seeing her, the latter being a signiture move of both jean and her teen self brought to the present because complicated bollocks, so fair enough. I also thought charles was just fucking off but accoridng to the wiki he was at social services, so he avoids another count and was doing something useful, checking on lance before he tries to offer him a spot: both to make sure he’s a good fit after last week’s debacle and figure out the best course to legaly take the boy in if so, and if not knowing charles still find the kid a home anyway because even if he’s not x-man yet, he’s still a child in need asshole or not and Charles is a good man. Such a good man he had to be told 9 timelines ended in utter disaster and ruin for mutantkind for him to even humor breaking from his dream according to recent comics, and according to Moira’s notes STILL took a good 15 years in universe of attempted genoicdes , 1 actual genocide and his people being reduced to a nub to finally cave and even THEN he admits he still loves humanity and wants them to be better. While I did put up an xavier is a jerk count just now at his best Charles Xavier is a good if flawed man who, while prone to ocasionally making utterly terrible decisions, loves both humans and mutants and just wants peace in our time and only created the x-men to foster it.  Meanwhile back at the ranch her mansion, Logan.. senses sabertooth.. I mean even with Logan’s adept sense of smell, I question how he could smell him over the exaust of Sabertooth’s goofy metalic penis, aka his own motorcycle, but it IS part of his mutant powers. Either that or they just have a magic force bond like Rey and Kylo Ren in the sequel trilogy.. minus the sexual tension and forced face turn for the latter.. maybe just minus the forced face turn. So Logan prepares to go fight his rival, and suits up for the first time. and while it’s in a black void for.. some reason it looks REALLY badass and really gives gravatas to seeing wolverine in costume for the first time. And since he’s one of ONLY two looks to look at this episode, since Kitty and Lance don’t get their uniforms this episode, let’s talk about it. 

I fucking love it. Like Kurt’s it’s basically his comic’s costume but slightly modified.. but unlike Kurt it’s a diffrent costume than last time, going with his cool brown look that he wore for quite some time in the comics, though made a bit more orange. However it honestly STILL looks fantastic and I get wanting to go with a color that’s a bit more eyepopping in the more muted tones of Evolution. It just looks fantastic and i’ts nice to see a cartoon use an alternate costume for a character as their main look.   Logan passes a returning from school Scott and Kurt, who decide to follow him and after debating which car, Scott gestures them to his.. which is scott’s sports car from bot the previous series and the comics. Why a 17 year old has this, I can only assume because Chuck is a really good dad, really rich.. and likely knows having a bunch of teenagers around means if one of them DOSEN’T have hteir own car they’ll be borrowing his rolls royce all the time and this way he can have his nights after training free to smoke a blunt with logan while they watch the next generation and eat a pile of cheeseburgers the children dropped off while crusing around out of his lack of hair, you know why you give your teenager a car in the first place. 

Anyways while Kurt and Scott buddy up and go on an excellent adventure, with Kurt even bamfing inside and god I love this dynamic. So fucking adorable. But anyways while that’s going on, Kitty is at school being mocked by two alpha bitches for being sad despite her grades then is shoved in a locker. When then meet Lance, soon to be known as avalanche and the other mutant at school who decides to graffito tag the place.. in the laziest but somehow still coolest way possible by just taking his spray can and spraing one long streak along the lockers. Not as neat as doing an actual tag but it does more petty dumbfuckery faster so fair play to him.  Kitty begs him to let her out.. before her powers trigger again. She tries denying it when he comments on them being cool.. before he shows off his own, making the earth move under his feet, though not the sky tumbling down a tumbling down.. that’s Storm’s job. It shakes the lockers and Kitty rather than be impressed, runs like hell. But yeah, I get the feeling, even with him having evil plans for her right after.. that he does feel some attraction to her here. And as I made clear i’ts not shipping goggles.. the way he acts.. he’s elated to meet someone else with powers, to after likely being pinballed around foster care and treated like shit by his piers over it and then finding out he has a special power but is still seen as a weirdo even by his minons.. he’s elated. It’s what draws him to her: that for once he’s NOT alone, and there’s someone else to revel in the sheer power and joy he feels using his powers and even though she runs he vows he’s gonan rock her world.  Since we’re where a commerical break would be, I figure now’s a good time to talk about Lance. In the comics he had a diffrent name entirely, and avalanche was more of a one note villian who later became a retired bar owner. Here he takes bits, the long metal hair and love of his powers, from Rictor, a more heroic mutant in the comics who only started out doing crimes because he was forced to and quickly joined the original x-men’s class of mutants the x-terminators before joining the new mutants and later x-force. He’s also , as you probably know, one fo the x-men’s most prominent gay mutants, but while hinted at in comics made before this series was fully canonized years after, and like iceman who came out even later, there was no way of knowing that at the time, so it made since to use him as partial template here. It also makes sense not to use the rictor name as while it makes more sense given the earthquake motif, Avalanche is an actual villian.. and you know the obvious fact that Lance is white and Julio Richter.. is not.  Granted they COULD’VE made him latino, and used sunspot for spike to ballnce it out representation wise, but this was the early 2000′s and they cared about as much for repesentation as Jeph Loeb does. Hopefully Rictor gets an adpatation at some point outside of Logan, but I get why not here. 

On with the show. Kitty shows up late for track due to thing one and thing two, and has to run first and trips, while on the nearbye rooftops Lance and his two goons try to break into the administration building to get test answers. They don’t as Lance notices an alarm, and while one of his goons asks why he dosen’t just quake a hole in, Lance points out the obvious: If there’s obvious tampering they’ll just change the test answers.. and since he knows about kitty now, he has a better way and when questioned rather than explain her powers, he just shakes rattles and rolls. He also makes one of Kitty’s bullies trip but it only scares her further. I”m getting. serious heathers vibes here jesus.. I mean Lance isn’t nearly as bad as Jason Dean but still jesus. I need to listen to more of that musical good stuff. 

Kitty retreats from her admierer/stalker to teh autitorim, where Jean finds her.. given Jean again slipped in here without no o ne noticing and no one came after kitty , i’m thinking she use her telepathy to mask anyone from seeing Kitty come in and seeing Jean at all so she could talk in private. Granted Lance shows up right after, but odds are Jean didn’t notice him and thus didn’t think to shield him and probably isn’t up to Charles level where he can create a psychic blindspot in an entire crowd. Anyways Jean tries to comfort kitty who’s still angsting about her powers and again hard to blame her when the only other mutant she’s met is a budding psychopath whose idea of a romantic gesture is injuring one of her enmiies for her. Jean does try to calm her down, first showing she’s a mutant and admitting she was freaked out too when she got her powers.. and given most depcitions of jean getting her powers are far from plesant that tracks. She does however make the mistake of telling Kitty, already figuring this is some sort of trick and jean will throw a puppy across the room to also try and get in her pants or something, that she’s a telepath and Kitty screams at her to get out of her head. Jean truly is taking after her mentor in thef ucking up department. Lance then shows up as I mentioned earlier, and tells Jean to backoff and that’ she’s mine and you get it. Oh and as a side note Jean DOES admit to having read Kitty’s mind so she CAN read minds, and likely has gotten a surface level look of duncan’s thoughts which I feel go a little something like this mnus the actual context of when the song’s going on. 

Lance then finds kitty, whose changed into her regular outift and promises not to use his powers this time, admitting he too felt lost and scared, and wants to help her take control and help her.. and while it is partly for his own petty scheme.. I do genuinely think he means part of that, that he does genuinely wnat her and want someone like him by his side.. it’s just in his warped head doing crime and whatever he wants is the right thing to do, that control means using this power to knock down whoever’s in your way and TAKE what you deserve. 

Jean instead phones xavier and both agree that if lance fully gets his hooks in her they might never reach her and Xavier tells him to stay on her and that she can overcome lance as an obstacle.. and then bemoans that some obastacles are more annoying than others as the social services building has a large stone staircas,e a nice quip and they beat the ulitmate universe to that joke by a few years. 

Meanwhile our two best buds track Wolvie to a car park because fuck if I know why he decided to make his stand there. Probably because the writers had a cool action scene in mind as we’ll see, but it still comes off dumb though given how every other x-man has been acting this episode it tracks. Anyway Sabertooth strolls up on his demonic wang-shang-a-lang, 

Seriously I mocked it before but it bears repeating. While Wolvie has a normal looking, if still badass, bike Sabertooth’s.. looks like something Skeltor would ride after he man. It Looks like warlock is horribly stucki n the form of a motorcycle. It looks like the kind of bike on some random asshole the bikers from sons of anarchy would beat up forposing. It looks like he stole it from the biker mice from mars. It looks like the polution from it’s exaust alone is the reason big bird die. it looks like Creed just brought it off the joker and remonded it. It looks like something the battletoads bought and regretted. It looks like ghost rider’s first trike. it looks like Tooth lost his dick in a horrible acciden tand is compensating with theree metalic ones. It looks like something the BAND creed sold to victor creed here. It looks.. bad is what i’m saying.  As for his actual outfit.. it’s okay,b asically his movie outfit with osme of the skin missing. That look isn’t my faviorite of his but it works to sell him as a savage monster and fits good with the more tactical less comic booky looks of this shows costumes. 

Creed, the man not the band though  he does look like the lead singer of creed, charges at Logan who simply pops his wheel while tooth falls off the roof.. and then the most rediculous and awesome part of the episode starts.... right after Scott’s car gets hit with the bike because what else did he think was going to happen when the fighting started.  Sabertooth , who apparently has really good super strength in this universe, starts CHUCKING CARS UP THROUGH THE ROOF OF THE CAR PARK UP AT LOGAN. Points to the team while the setting for this fight is nonseical, it is WORTH IT for this, with great action as Logan dodges the cars bursting through the roof. it’s rediclous, over the top.. and UTTERLY spectacular and not just in a so bad it’s good way. Logan eventually slips through a car hole, a sentence i’d never thought i’d say mostly becasue that’s the moe syslack approved term for garages but it works well here too, and into the garage before sabertooth RAMS him with a car, ranting about it’s their “destiny” only one is left. Which seems like some weird “applying highlander logic to former goverment weapon mutants’ bollocks, but instead is foreshadowing for the end of the season. Nice touch. Scott and Kurt arrive, in uniform since even if he’s a bit more personably here, Scott still is no dummy, and they sucessfully save Logan, whose pissy about it because it was his buisness and all, but Kurt thinks he secretly loves them and Scott sarcastically agrees. Not a bad subplot and it makes up for a weird choice of battleground on logan’s cart iwth utter insanity. Fun stuff.  Back at not so fun stuff, Kitty finds lance outside the office and takes him up on his offer, and he admits they ARE outsiders, there is something wrong with them.. but instead of moping about it, they can do something about it and revel in it. It really ties into Lance as a character: He’s probably felt, due to being an oprhan and not having a stable home life likely buffeted around foster care and acting out as a result, that he really is an outsider and his powers not only proved it.. but finally gave him POWER over all the people that cast him out. The power to take what he wanted and return what he got. The power to move you. He finally had power and he was going to make them pay for making him feel like he had none and wants Kitty to join him. And for a moment it works, kitty joyfully breaking in with him and actually enjoying her powers for the first time. Meanwhile kitty’s parents showed up, Jean having called them and somehow got them to listen.. and this is what I meant by that one minute earlier. We COULD have built up Kitty’s parents guilt and fear by having Charles approach them again.. and with them panicked over her not returning from school, have him explain what happened and help her father see how wrong he’d been to hide from it or had her argue with her dad then storm out. Instead they just show up here for the first time in almost 20 minutes so we could get a filler scene of kurt being late. 

Anyways inside Lance steals the answers and Kitty is horrified to find out that “Gasp” the juvinele delinquent who hurt someone to impress her is doing BAD THINGS. Lance tries to change her grades but she refuses.. and then Jean and the Prydes show up, with Kitty’s dad admitting he was wrong, he shouldn’t of hid fro her power and shoudl’ve been a better parent.. better than her comics dad who got in bed with gangsters i’ll give him that. But Lance not wanting to loose his new sorta girlfriend knocks a bookcase on kitty and abusively tries to drag her with him.. while jean says if you go with him now, her powers will be a curse like she thought earlier... even though Kitty’s pretty terrified of lance right now and dosen’t actually want to go with him.  it comes off like this bit from final space played entirely seriously

So yeah apparently I need this too...: God Dammit Jean Count: 3 The other two are for the telepath thing earlier and the duncan thing last episode. And given the duncan thing is going to be going on till season 3 yeah i’ll need this. I’ll probably also need a WHAT DOES SHE SEE HIM HIM COUNT, but i’m playing that one by ear. But yeah kitty does the obvious and breaks it off and phases out and Lance takes it well.. by trying to destory the entire school.. my god this really is heathers! Did .. did lance kill some popular kids before this? I have questions. Jean struggles to hold things up and worries about kitty, who falls under some ruble but charles assures her to focus: She can do this.. and as we seen Chuck likely sensed kitty who phases out and reuintes with her parents before rescuing them all. Kitty realizes her powers are a gift after all and says the x-men have her best intrest and heart and Charles finally decides to have an actual discussion with the prydes which had he had one might’ve helped this episode go faster.  We then end on Lance, angry and hurt starring into the distance, when Mistque approaches in her principal disguise, saying there may be an opening for her and transforms ending with a great line “I have much to teach you, my avalanche”. Which ihs a better code name than Rictor when put like that credit where it’s do. And we’re out. Final Thoughts:  This one was a bit of a step down as you could tell: The main core of Lance and Kitty IS really strong, being a good way to breifly touch on toxic relationships. If this gets better in season 2 I have no idea but it’s a compelling dynamic here, with Kitty being terrified of her power while Lance loves his and both are what prop this episode up alongside the fun car park fight and great dynamic with Kurt and Scott. HOwever what drags the episode down is EVERYONE but Kitty and Lance, who act in character, and Scott and Kurt, who had no idea logan was going into combat and were just curious what their cool teacher was up to acts like a fucking moron: Logan, rather than pick a fighting ground where he has an advantage chooses one where sabertooth can easily use stealth and gives him an opening too as well as a garage full of weapons that nearly ends him, Xavier decides just randomly revealing he knows where they live wiill impress scared parents, Jean decides telling someone she’s in their head is a great idea, Kitty’s parents think not talking about the thing tht just happened will make it disappear, which is at least realistic if nothing else, and Sabertooth thought that was a valid choice for a motorcycle. The climax is good but feels unearned and overall this episode could've neen fantstic but is bogged down by bits of stupid, but is still enjoyable thanks to it’s emotional core. Next time, whenever that is, another popular charcter arrives as we go Rogue. Until then, follow for more reviews, like this if you enjoyed it, send asks iwth suggestions for more shows and episodes to cover and until then, stay safe and stay mutant and proud. 

[mythykl]

Toshinko?? In Aladdin au!??

*pure platonic stuff here~

Words?? prolly 1900+

*i altered the story plot a bit while keeping the roles same,, I hope you enjoy it ;)) @princeasimdiya12

...

'Is it seven in the morning already?' Midoriya wonders as he lies, curled up in the ragged blanket. Soon, this young boy straightens up once he hears knocking; since a few days he has been randomly hearing such knocks against the mirror, kept at the opposite end of his small house. Inko, his mother had told him not to mind it, but that was nearly impossible, considering how paranoid he can get.

"Oh sweetie, you are up?" Inko enters the room with a huge bucket in her hand; she had probably gone to get her son’s bath water ready.

"Mum, I told you, I can do it myself! You don't have to do this-" Izuku blurts out of concern. He knows how hard his mother is working for him, and still always holds a huge smile on her face. After the chores are done early in the morning, everyday she'd go to the town to sell and repair utensils, then return home just before midnight and prepare for the next day. He wants to do something for her too. Recently, his eyes have been lingering around at each shop in the town so he can buy her the best present. Thinking this, he holds his late father’s silver pendent to his chest and prays for some strength.

Today is Izuku's last day of school, from tomorrow his summer vacations are to commence.  Before leaving for school, he walks to his beloved mum, who is sitting in front of the mirror combing through her beautiful shiny long black hair, and declares, "Mum, by tomorrow I'll be helping you with chores.. an-and give you the best present ever on my tenth birthday, because- ah..." Well, Midoriya's birthday was barely a month away. What could this kid possibly give her?

She chuckles and shrugs, "Honey, I already have the best- bestttt thing ever in my life! And that's you! I'm grateful that you'll be helping me with chores, I hope you'll learn a lot from this little promise during your time off," and pulls him into a hug. 'I'm blessed to have you as my mum', Midoriya thinks to himself and leaves. Inko immediately stands up; as she is about to step out of the house, someone whispers from behind,,

"You know.. you have me. You can give him all the happiness in this world, since your wish is my command." She doesn’t flinch at the voice.

It was just last week, she happened to stumble across this beautiful lamp in her huge junk of utensils she had collected during her venture to the city. She was trapped in an overwhelming urge to bring it home. Cost for this masterpiece can be estimated more than her whole year's earnings. The aftermath of this had it all, the smoke, the dim fluorescent lights and eventually this genie out of nowhere. She was stunned.

The genie is a very large man, floating in air, with an equally muscular and well-defined physique. He has blond hair, swept backwards, with two distinct tufts that stick up above his head, leaning slightly to each side, which often casts a dark shadow over his face, hiding everything but his bright blue eyes. He called himself Toshi, the Genie of All Might. He even sang to her about how he can easily grant three of her wishes; though she was mesmerized by it, she refused his offer. On that day, before Izuku had arrived home, she hurriedly hide the lamp behind the old mirror in her house.

Presently; Inko just sighs at the recollection of all her encounters with this genie. She is well aware that the genie can’t let go of her family unless he grants her three wishes. Somehow, she never had greed for money; money doesn’t always bless you with satisfied. Her house was decent for two, and most importantly, her son and she were happy.

“Speaking of which-” the genie began, “Lady Midoriya, you’ve already used your first wish when you said that I can’t show myself to your son.”

“Oh dear! It wasn’t a wish-”

“But a command- which is also considered as a wish.” Genie says and laughs historically.

“I don’t really need anything right now,, Mr-?”

“Toshi, the Genie of all Might.”

“Yes.”

“But, if you refuse to ever ask for anything, as you’ve been doing since a week, I’ll be stuck like this for eternity. It’s not bad to dream but you also have to consider what’s realistic and where the opportunities lie, AND I’m HERE!”

Toshi’s words did hit Inko. He somehow sounds like a typical superhero in a  western comic book which Izuku talks so much  about.

Which reminds her of the conversation she had with Izuku while he was fast asleep.  It consisted more of mumbles, but something that really struck out to her was his wish to buy her a present. That’s when she decides on her second wish, just to safeguard her son.

In midst of strolling around and touching random utensils in the kitchen, Inko’s sharp tone catches the genie’s  attention. She says, “Well here’s my second wish. My son, Izuku, has a mission in his mind; I want you to help him accomplish it but not too easily; I want him to take efforts on his own and learn during his journey.”

Toshi, on the other hand, is shocked. How can she ask for such basic things while possesing a great power in her hands. He isn’t annoyed, but as well can’t wrap his head around her oblivious nature.

Anyways, with a smile, he snapped his fingers and vanishes after saying, “You’re wish is my command!” Well, she just stands there for a while and thinks that she hopefully did the right thing.

By evening, after a lot of research about the town and what young Midoriya can do to earn, Toshi finally came up with an idea. He bolted home and found Izuku, sitting on the floor, listing out things a soon-to-be ten year old can do to have some honest earning. Toshi somehow manages to keep that burlap sack, which he had brought with him, in izuku’s sight.

Izuku on the other hand is speechless, seeing this sack appear from nowhere; he suspects that the ghost has at last come to shove his petit body in it and certainly send to some demon; and that’s when a plan struck in midoriya’s head too. He immediately stands up, takes the sack and runs around in his town to carry out his little mission. Toshi is relieved that they both are on the same page!

Young midoriya runs towards the town ruins and construction sites. He knows that such burlap sacks are discarded at such places, he can probably pick them up and sell it back to the factories for minimum five coins a piece. That evening he found six intact sacs, and is also helped by Toshi, since a few appeared on the debris out of nowhere. Before ten in the night, he rushes to the factory and sells them. Izuku is now determined than ever, and continues this for the next two weeks during his vacation.

As July 15th, which is Midoriya’s birthday, approaches, Inko grows more anxious. Once when Izuku isn’t around, the genie takes the shot to ask Inko if she needs any help.

“Yes it is true that I haven’t bought my son a gift yet, but I won’t fail. I have to stay as determined as my son; I won’t get the same happiness if I-” and without completing the sentence, she fainted. Toshi just stayed still, helpless, ‘This stubborn woman’, he sighs.

But before he can do anything, Midoriya darts in with a huge grin on his face at first; the genie had to disappear. Without a thought, he runs to his mum, agitated. He knows she has been working too much lately, its only today that she has probably taken a day off but it can’t just heal her body magically! He took her to the bed to rest as he stayed by her side the whole time. They stay far away from the town where the doctors are; it has always been times like this when izuku wonders if he were rich, or at least have a magic carpet just like the rich merchants and nobles do.

The day has finally approached. Izuku wakes up to find his mother nowhere. ‘She probably had to go early’, he explains himself, but deep inside he is depressed, he hasn’t talked with Inko in a while too. With shaky hands, he pours his coins he earned out of the tin can to count. He still needed 30 coins more! Without having bath or even breakfast, this young fellow dashes outside to find burlap sacks.

By seven in the evening, he has only managed to get 15 coins.

“Should I give up already?” Midoriya asks himself, as he sits on the footpath, running out of breath.

Toshi, being with him since he tagged along, can’t see this family in agony anymore. Technically speaking, even young Midoriya can make a wish on his mother’s behalf, but will it be.. wrong? Inko was strict about the fact that Izuku should earn on his own and learn a lesson; but he has already learnt a lot hasn’t he?

‘No I can’t meddle, I can’t break my promise to Inko.’

Izuku is disappointed in himself and starts crying, “I wish- I wish I could find extra sacks for-” that’s it! He just wished for it! Without a thought, Toshi snaps his fingers.

Izuku feels a slight shift in the air, as if the space just got empty. The hair on his back instantly stands up as he looks around frantically, that’s when he spots.

There, against an old wall, near the dumping area for the locals, are three burlap sacks. He immediately takes them and runs to the factory to sell them.

Around eleven, he reaches home. The lights are switched on . He isn’t prepared enough to see his mother, angry at him, for staying out late; especially on his birthday.

He opens the front door and steps inside, to see his mother sitting in front of the mirror, by the dim lit lantern, looking down at something. It is difficult for him to comprehend, since to his surprise, her long black hair, which she loves so much, are gone, replaced by a short bob cut.

Inko jolts up from her sit. She knows what her son is thinking. She simply walks to him and hands over his father’s pendent, now attached with a Pear cut diamond in the center. She softly blushes and says, “Izu, I’ve been planning to gift you- something like- this since so long. You see, since the money wasn’t adding up to the full amount, I had to eventually cut my hair and sell it. I hope you don’t mind!”

But he is really shocked to utter anything. Inko couldn’t bear a silence quite this loud; she soon leads him to the table where she has arranged all the dishes she made and said, “Happy B’day son! I’m sorr-“

“I got something for you too mum.” He blandly interrupts and hands over his present nervously. Once she opens the box, she sees two big butterfly hairpins, studded with rubies. Tears start pouring down her cheeks.

“Izuku- these are amazing! My my! I know you worked hard to- Listen sweetie, my hair will eventually grow don’t worry and I’ll wear these-”

“Mom,”Izuku holds his mother as she cries, “it’s just a small token to the massive, gigantic sacrifices you make for me. Let-let’s have dinner, okay? And- and I loved your present too. I love you mother!”

The day ended very well.

Inko is confirmed by now that somehow, the genie has helped him. She is glad that her last remaining wish must have been used to strengthen her son’s will power. She will forever be grateful to Toshi for giving such a beautiful memory.

...

wow you made it! did you get bored? lol

damn it was one ass venture writing this, nevertheless- I enjoyed! I’ve always seen Inko as THE BEST MUM, i mean ik a lot of mums but this female tops the list. tbh tho i write lotta fanfic stuff, i’m not really into reading fanfic. there are only few 3 or 4 writers who always manage to surprise me with their quirk called BRAINS, so i read their stuff. a few suggestions in the comments pl??  

feel free to rant about my grammatical errors, i believe in improvement huhuh

*I also somewhat took a major reference from this short story called ‘a boy with a mission’ which was taught to me in school i guess?? ya just wanted to put that out*

alsooo, don’t expect me to write like +1269 words shit everytime, I’ll do it only for that requests which i find pretty interesting- no offence- challenges make me think outta the mf box. cool i gotta stop

hearts and kisses to all the strangers who liked / appreciated my silly pastime in their minds / commented / reblogged it

check out my previous blogs;))