#the ramblings of a mad man seeing connections where there probably aren’t any

[stuck-in-jelly]

Im ready to be clowned on in a couple of days but Corvus’s uniforms and scarf resembling The Orphan Queen, The Orphan Queen being the one to kill Aaravos’s Mortal Form,

The hook of Corvus’s bloodied weapon hanging over Aaravos’s name in the title sequence,

The Novablade featured in the poster being in Ezran’s hands,

Corvus being protective of Ezran and even praising the young king for not giving into violence,

The idea of Corvus taking the blade from Ezran and the burden with it

Please wonderstorm, spare Corvus scraps

[ginanosakka]

I’ll Always Love You

Masterlist

Let It Go | Next

“Mom?” Ryu whimpered the moment he heard your voice, tears coming down his face like an uncontrollable waterfall.

Katsuki stepped to the side knowing this wasn’t his moment, and you kneeled down to meet your son’s eyes in the doorway of his father’s massive home that gave you chills despite only giving it one glance. You smiled gently at Ryu as you caressed his cheek, giving him a moment to let all his emotions out before you comforted him. After all, you were his mother, and whether he really did hate you or not won’t stop you from being the best damn mom there is.

“I’m sorry, mom,” Ryu sobbed with his eyes shut tightly and fist clenched at his sides. “I’m supposed to be a hero like dad and I hurt you. . I was just so mad.�� He did his best to explain, and having already been where he was at a much older age, you understood.

“I was wrong for not telling you when there was a chance you could meet him, and one day I’ll tell you why I couldn’t. . but I need you to believe me when I say you aren’t ready yet. You can hate me all you want for now, but just know I’ll always love you no matter how you feel about me, okay?” You smiled, taking your hands off his face so he could wipe it with his sleeve and give you the smile that you had grown accustom to seeing every single day.

“Don’t worry, even if dad is some cool hero, you’ll always be better!”

“Eh?! What did you say, you little-“ You looked up sharply, daring him to call your precious boy out of his name. “Whatever,” he huffed and turned his head like a child.

“Y/N?”

You stood up and looked past Katsuki to his living area where a familiar redhead sat wide eyed looking at you, and you gave him a polite smile. Kirishima was one of those ones who wasn’t persuaded by your dad’s money to befriend you, but he treated you kindly back in the day when you ended up around him through Mina or Katsuki. He looked great now, especially still in his hero costume that exposed his entire torso, and you were glad to see that he was alive and well as a hero.

Kirishima was floored, on the other hand, remembering you being a pretty girl back in high school, but you were a grown woman now. He couldn’t figure out if it was bearing a child that turned you into something fiercely gorgeous, or how well you dressed your body even in casual clothing to make you look like you belonged on the cover of every magazine. It wasn’t hard to see how his friend had become so domesticated in the span of a few days when you looked like that, and the way you talked definitely wasn’t dimming your light.

“Hello Kirishima, or should I call you Mr. Riot?” You joked, and Eiji nearly combusted.

“C-Call me whatever you like,” he stuttered out with a blush spreading across his cheeks.

Katsuki’s blood pressure sky rocketed as he watched you two interact — he didn’t know whether it was because you treated him like an enemy, or the fact that you had hooked his best friend — and he growled before snatching you by the wrist. His touch wasn’t aggressive, which is why you didn’t immediately attack him, but you were still very uncomfortable with contact with him. Still, you would let it slide for the sake of peace now.

“I need to talk to you,” Katsuki said with his red eyes staring deep into your soul like he was trying to predict what you would do. “That freeloader can watch Ryu while we talk, he’s good with kids.” He persuaded you using Ryu’s safety, and after receiving an accepting nod from your son, you nodded in compliance yourself.

He lead you into a room you assumed was his, and you gently pried his fingers off your wrist. “Alright, let’s really talk this time.” You said, mentally preparing yourself for what he had to say.

“I want to apologize”.

“. . What?” You blinked several times in shock at the words that came out of his mouth.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he snapped but composed himself with a sigh. “I’m sorry. . for everything. I didn’t realize how bad you probably had it, and I know you weren’t ready to tell Ryu about me yet. . but I want to be in yo- his life .” Katsuki said, silently cursing himself for letting his apology run off into something that could piss you off.

He was surprised to see that you weren’t giving him that same defensive attitude you had been — to be fair, that was his own fault — looking like you were seriously considering what he was saying. You had to really think about how Katsuki would do in his life, because it wasn’t like he was an everyday civilian like you were. His life was in danger at all times and that danger could easily transfer to your son if the press caught wind. As strong as your boy was, you didn’t want to think about a villain trying to use your baby as leverage.

Neither of you talked about it, but the press already had your face on magazines and online articles after that one restaurant incident and you were completely aware of it. They’d never be able to recover who you were though, as most of that information was buried well enough by your father to keep you from having any connection to him that they’d end up in jail for trying. All the information they could find was about your rehabilitation company that was faceless to the press since you didn’t want them hounding you when you lived in a small and accessible home with Ryu.

“Can you honestly tell me you can keep him safe after those press monkeys attack?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest and looking at him expectantly.

A malicious smile came on his face, “If anyone even looks at him I’ll blow their asses to Hell!”

“Good. You’ll have to tell me when you have days off to come pick him, and I’ll make a list of things you need to know in case of an emergency. I’ll work on it when I have time at work tomorrow. Anyways, thank you for watching-“

“Wait,” Katsuki cut off your rambling about the changes you’d have to make. “Mina told me what happened with your idiot of a father, so you take care of Ryu on your own?” He questioned and you shrugged in response.

“Yeah, why?”

“. . If you’re having trouble with money you can stay with me so you don’t have to live in that small-“ The realization of where he was going clicked in your head at the mention of your house, and your mouth fell into a small ‘o’ for a moment.

“You think I’m living there because that’s all I can afford,” you said matter-of-factly, but you didn’t feel offended. “Dynamight, I have enough money to live next door to you. . In several different countries. It’s just that I don’t like all this open space with no one but Ryu and me. . . . It feels lonely and unnecessary.” You explained your situation, and his brow furrowed.

“You used to live in a mansion.”

“Exactly,” you responded. “Speaking of your home, I have to leave. Who knows what Ryu could get into when you haven’t child proofed this place,” you laughed lightly to yourself.

Katsuki would never admit it, but he really preferred to hear you laughing over yelling at him.

You walked back into the living room where Kirishima was. . doing push ups with Ryu on his back. The boy sat cross legged on the exposed back of Kiri as he went up and down with a mischevious grin on his face, and Kirishima looked so focused you would think he had just been challenged to a life or death battle. You didn’t know whether you were impressed with your son’s ability to persuade people, or frightened by how much devious intent he could hide behind that cute face.

‘I’ve created a monster,’ you internally laughed nervously.

“Ryu, it’s time to go. Say bye to uncle Kirishima and your dad.” You instructed going to stand by the door with your keys in hand.

“Uncle Kirishima.” You watched as the red haired man collapsed on the floor with tears in his eyes, “that’s so manly!”

‘. . . The fuck is so manly about that? How is he still even friends with a psycho murder machine when he lives by the code of manliness?’ You thought, rubbing your temple gently.

Katsuki walked out just in time for Ryu to jump off Kirishima’s back and wave at them both, “bye uncle Kiri! Bye dad!” He cheered and ran to your side.

“I’ll see you later, kid. Be nice to your mom, alright?” Katsuki said gruffly, but he didn’t meet your curious eyes that stared at him after his last request.

“Hope I’ll see you soon, little man!” Kirishima said after he composed himself, and you nodded at them both in a silent goodbye.

When you left, Kirishima found himself watching as Katsuki as he sat back down on the couch leaning forward with his arms on his legs, staring at his hands with a lost look in his eyes. Kirishima knew that look, it was how he felt when he thought he wasn’t good enough to be a hero; the look you get when the things you care about aren’t there or attainable. Katsuki was so out of it that he hadn’t even though to kick him out yet like he usually did after a short while.

“Bakubro, I don’t know a lot about this , but I can tell you that a man would do whatever it takes to chase his dreams,” Kirishima said as he stood and clapped a hand on his blonde friend’s shoulder. “Don’t let something good get away from you.”

Taglist <3 : @fandomgirllover @cloudsgathering @that-bipolar-renegade-romantic @jazzylove @that-chick212 @bonbonthedragon @misssugarless @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @bakugous-bakahoe @pinkykookie17 @animexholic @arielting @samkysnks @simpforeveryone @damnirina @fireworkemoji102 @deneuves @tsumuuumiyaaaa @ladybeautiful18 @vintage-teddyxo @regalmigraine @samvmgh @iamagalaxy @officialtrashbusiness @xwackk @videogameboiwhowins @marajillana @ellasdilemma @plutoneu @saucey-kneecapzz42020 @thestarsanctuary @dewdropwifu @star-light-imagines @kritiiiii @bakugosbottombitch @the2ndl @candybabey @simply-not-the-same @sam-i-am-1025 @mes-bisous @eternallyvenus @peppytine @chaelysian

[elizabeethan]

Spaces Between Us Chapter 13: You & I

The hardships of real life separated them six years ago, and Emma has been struggling to put that fact behind her ever since. But then, only after she’s convinced herself that she’s moved on and that her new life is enough, Killian Jones comes back.

A Captain Swan Modern AU

Complete

As my grandma used to say,"theyah." (she meant "there" and she would brush her hands together, but she had a very heavy a Maine accent) 

Thank you to everyone who read this, and to everyone who commented, left kudos, liked it, reblogged it, sent flails.... you're the best!!

Thank you, as usual, to my beta and friend @the-darkdragonfly​, and to @donteattheappleshook​ and @xhookswenchx​ for listening to my ramblings and helping me figure out the plot to this <3

Read the Rest

Read on Ao3

Read my Other Stuff

~~~~

His warm fingers tickle her awake, dancing delicately over the skin of her waist and making her giggle before she hisses at the bright sunlight stinging her eyes. “It’s too early for all that.” 

 “No it isn’t,” he argues, kissing a hot trail down her neck until his lips reach her breast. She swears she was wearing a shirt when she went to bed… “We’ve got to get up soon anyway.” 

 “Then why are you initiating what you're initiating?” 

 “I can be quick.” 

 She snorts, reaching her fingers into his thick hair and letting out an appreciative sound as he flicks his tongue over her nipple. “I’m sure you can.” 

 “Let me do my work in peace, please,” he chastises playfully as he drags his mouth down her stomach, tucking his fingers into the hem of her underwear and tugging them down her thighs. 

 “If you insist,” she sighs, letting her head fall back against the pillow and grounding herself as she scratches her fingers against his scalp. 

He certainly does take his work seriously, succeeding in his promise to be quick and getting her ready for him in just a matter of minutes. She pulls on his hair a bit harder and he lifts his head, looking up at her with shiny lips and a glint in his eyes before he wipes his chin and crawls up her body slowly, peppering kisses along the way. “Already?” he asks when he reaches her ear, and she giggles. 

 “You promised to be quick, I thought you’d be pleased to know that you delivered.” 

 “Oh, I’m very pleased. If there’s one thing parenthood has taught me, it's how to get my lady love off in a jiffy.” 

 “Shut up,” she laughs, though the sound is cut off quickly when he plunges himself into her, nearly to the hilt before he pulls back out and slides in again, slowly this time. She groans in appreciation for the way he stretches her, hitting everywhere just right as he sets a steady pace. 

 “I love you,” he whispers against the shell of her ear, tracing his tongue over the sensitive skin just below. “So much.”

 “I love you, too,” she whispers back breathlessly, then with a moan, “don’t stop.” 

 “You like it like this?” he asks, biting her skin and pushing into her at just the right angle. 

 She whimpers and nods, her nails clawing at his back. She’s so close already, his mouth bringing her halfway there before they’d even started, and when he reaches his fingers between them where she needs him the most, she cries out again. 

 “There,” she begs, her legs shaking as she holds him in place. “Oh, fuck, right there.” 

 When he whispers, “come for me,” with his tone commanding and gentle, there's little she can do but obey him. 

 He’s heavy on top of her, her chest heaving beneath him, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. She loves being here with him more than just about anything. The way he kisses her cheek over and over while they catch their breath makes her heart flutter more. 

 “You don’t actually have to go, right?” she asks jokingly as she runs her fingers up and down his back. “You’re actually just going to work? Won’t Will be mad if you miss a day, Mr. Mechanic?”

 With a laugh and another kiss to her cheek at the charming nickname she gave him when his friend hired him to work in his garage, he answers, “I bloody well better go. I promised Ruby I’d be there and I certainly don't want to be on her bad side.” She giggles, though he continues, “and I want to watch that bastard get exactly what he deserves.” 

 She nods, letting out a long, steady breath. Walsh’s trial is today, and while Killian isn’t allowed to testify because of his relationship with the victim-- her-- Ruby has a lot to say about that evening. At first, there was talk of Killian being unfit to serve and having made irresponsible choices because of his emotional connection with Emma. But after Ruby’s accounts of that night and the body camera footage, it was clear that he acted as appropriately as he ever has. Walsh shot first, and the sheriff responded using non-lethal force. And besides, Killian left the force on his own accord, anyway. 

 At first, she was almost angry that he’d lived. Part of her wanted the surgeons to let him die; another part of her wanted Killian to have taken a better shot. But he was shot himself, so the fact that he got him in the shoulder was pretty damn good. Plus, Walsh will never be able to fully use his arm again. 

 And… he’s probably going to jail for a long time. Which would be cool, considering the amount of times he’s been beaten up already.

 “There’s too much going on in there,” he murmurs, kissing her temple. “Tell me what you’re thinking?” 

 With a shrug, she says, “just thinking about what happened. It’s been a long eight months.” 

 He hums. “Aye, it has. Hasn’t been so bad, though.” 

 “No,” she agrees softly. “But I’ll be glad when this whole trial thing is over. Maybe we can finally leave this place.” 

 “Are you implying that you aren’t a fan of my apartment?” he asks through feigned offence. “I find it to be quite quaint.” 

 “Oh, it’s quaint,” she giggles. “I just feel bad making Henry sleep in a closet.” 

 “It’s not a closet! I pay extra for two bedrooms!”

 With a soft smile, she cups his cheek in her palm and says, “I’m sorry, my love, but that is a walk-in closet.” 

 He rolls his eyes, then rolls off of her and offers her his hand to hoist her off the bed. “Soon we can get him a nice big bedroom, promise. Once the trial’s over, there’s nothing holding us here.” 

 It’s true. While they haven’t fully talked about where they’ll end up when all is said and done, Walsh signed the divorce papers from his cell a few weeks ago. And with the pre-nup null and void, Emma took her half of his fortune and donated it to an organization that supports victims of domestic violence and their children. 

 “Henry’s appointment is at ten, right?” 

 “Yeah,” she nods. Starting him up with Archie has been a blessing. Emma had a lot of fears that he would handle the transitions with difficulty, but with Dr. Hopper’s help, he’s been well adjusted, and she couldn’t be prouder. 

 They struggled with how to tell him about his father, but she never wants to lie to him. They moved out of their old house with haste, grabbing everything they could as quickly as possible so that Emma wouldn’t have to be there for a second longer than she had to. And while Henry was confused, he didn’t seem overly upset. He enjoyed living with the sheriff for a few days, even creating a comfortable nook for Abby, before they sat him down and told him everything. 

 When Emma told her son that the man who’s been in his life all along isn’t actually his father, she thought he would be upset. In reality, though, he simply shrugged and asked if Killian’s house had macaroni and cheese. 

 When Emma told her son who his real father is, a few days after they moved in with him for both safety and stability, he cheered and gave Killian the biggest hug she’s ever seen him give anyone. 

 She still can’t think about that day without crying. 

 “So Sherrie is actually my dad?” 

 Emma nods. “Yes, baby. I’m sorry that this is so confusing.” 

 He ignores her sentiment and asks, “and I can call him daddy?” 

 “You can call him anything you want.” 

 Turning towards Killian, he asks again, “can I call you daddy?” 

 The look on his face is so heartbreaking that Emma’s tears flow freely. Killian looks up at his son, meeting his eyes with glassy ones, and nods. “I’d love that.” 

 “Have you got one as well?” he asks, shaking her from her memories as she wipes away a rogue tear.

 “Wednesday. You’re okay to watch Henry in the morning, right?” 

 “It’s not exactly babysitting, Swan,” he reminds her gently, and she grins at the name he uses and the fact that it’s finally her name again. 

 “I know, but…” 

 “Go and see Ingrid on Wednesday, love. I’m glad you’re still finding it beneficial to talk with her.” 

 Honestly, finding a therapist who happens to have experience working with victims of domestic violence in this small town was a surprise to Emma, but she’s found her work with Ingrid to be invaluable. While she’s known all along that what happened wasn’t her fault, and that she shouldn’t feel guilty about what she and her son went through for all those years, it’s been helpful to hear that from a professional as well. Ingrid reminded her that, while the physical abuse happened only near the end of their relationship, Emma was being emotionally abused the entire time she knew Walsh. She was trapped from the moment she met him, little by little being gaslighted until she believed that she would have nothing if she left him. As hard as it was for her to see how toxic he was at first, it was even harder to imagine leaving when she thought he had so much power over her.

 The guilt that came with finding out she put herself and her child through that for nothing was unmatched. Her feelings and thoughts about herself as a mother, about how she failed to protect her son, are something she’s been battling for months and will likely never be able to fully let go of. Finding out that Killian is Henry’s father gave her the freedom to leave, but it also gave her the most traumatic experience of her life and brought endless feelings of self-hatred, and that’s something she’s been working on coming to terms with, slowly but surely. 

 “Alright,” she agrees, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips as she walks past him towards the bathroom. 

 “I’ll go give him his nebulizer while you get ready.” 

 Stopping short in her path to the shower, she turns to him and smiles. “I love you.” 

 Returning her smile with his own, he says, “I love you, too, Swan.” 

 In eight months, he’s become more of a father than Walsh was Henry’s entire life. 

 ~~~~

 As he watches Walsh being escorted into the courtroom, donning his orange jumpsuit and shackles, Killian is reminded of the last time he saw the man who almost took everything from him. It was months ago, once he was finally transferred to the Storybrooke Sheriff’s Department’s jail cell. He was still clearly favoring his left arm, his right shoulder completely out of commission as a result of Killian’s rather good shot, and he felt a sick sense of accomplishment seeing the monster struggling to get comfortable on the firm cot with the sling wrapped around him. 

 “Need something?” he’d asked, although he wasn’t too chuffed to give the bastard anything that would take away his obvious malaise. 

 He scoffed and responded, “yeah, my pain meds would be nice. Are you always in the business of torture?”

 “Aye,” Killian responded without thinking, then he stood up and walked to Walsh’s cell, keys in hand. “I suppose I am. But I really only focus on torturing the absolute most wretched inmates. Like you.” 

 Walsh shook his head and laughed, but Killian didn’t miss the look of fear in his eyes as he inserted the key and swung the cell door open, shutting it behind him. “Talk about protect and serve.” 

 Killian hummed in response and nodded as well as he moved to stand over Walsh’s cot, staring down into his eyes with anger, the strength of which he won’t ever feel again. “The fact is, mate, I couldn’t care less about my duties as the sheriff. Not when the safety and happiness of my son and the woman I love are on the line.” Walsh laughed once more and rolled his eyes, so Killian moved quickly to thrust his open hand down upon his neck, pressing just hard enough to make the animal’s eye pop from his head. “You threatened them. You tried to kill her. You neglected the child you thought was yours for his entire life. You are garbage; a waste of oxygen. Trust me when I tell you that I will do everything in my power to ensure that you never live to see the light of day. You will never take a breath outside of a barbed wire fence. You will never eat anything but the slop they feed you. You will never experience pleasure for as long as you live. And I promise you, you will live for decades in an iron cage, right where you belong.” 

 He was quiet for a moment as his cheeks started to turn red and his eyes grew wider, before he finally gruffed, “I can’t breathe.” 

 “Perfect,” Killian responded. “Then you know exactly how she felt. Count yourself lucky that I’m not going to try and shoot you again.” 

 He released his forceful grip, shoving Walsh down onto the cot as he took in a forceful breath, before he turned and locked the cell, walking back to his desk and collecting his things. When his shift ended, Killian Jones walked out of the Storybrooke Sheriff’s Department precinct for the final time. 

 ~~~~

 Henry’s birthday is definitely cause for celebration. He’s turning six. It’s the first time Killian will be able to celebrate his son’s birthday. He’s finally with his Emma, with nothing stopping them from being happy together. There’s a lot for his family to be happy about. 

 “Daddy!” Henry calls as he sprints at full speed towards his father. “Daddy, can I have cake yet?” 

 “No, not yet. You haven’t even touched your lunch. And don’t let your mother see you running wild like that.”

 His more intensive therapies have been working as well as they can, but they know they have to be careful to avoid another serious attack-- one that might not end as well as the last had. Killian only just became a part of his son’s life. He doesn’t intend to lose him. 

 “But it’s my birthday,” he complains, rolling his eyes and giving him a look that could rival his mother’s. 

 “Your birthday isn’t until Monday.”

 “Well, it’s my tarty.” 

 “Your party.” 

 “I think I wanna ask mommy.” 

 Killian chuckles. “If mommy doesn’t tell you to wait until after lunch, I’ll give you five dollars.” 

 His eyes light up and widen immediately, cloudy gray perfectly complimenting the black pupils as he turns from him and runs straight for the door. He watches from the deck as Henry begs and pleads with his mother, giving her his best bambi eyes, before he sees her nod, the lad jumping for joy and shrinking excitedly. He runs towards the sliding door and pounds his fists against it, shouting through the glass, “you owe me five dollars!”

 With a sigh, Killian brushes past his son, ruffling his hair just a bit, before he wraps both arms around Emma’s waist, pulling her in for a hug from behind. “You really got me there, Swan.” 

 “Did I?” she asks. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

 She leans back into his chest, turning her head so that she can press a soft kiss to his jaw. “No? Are you telling me our son didn’t inform you of my poorly-made offer?” 

 With a giggle, she answers, “of course he did. That’s what you get for trying to negotiate with our six year old.” 

 He squeezes her a bit tighter, reveling in their loneliness in the kitchen. “He’s still five,” he reminds her, content to never let him grow up.

 “Yes,” she hums. “And what a big difference the two days will make.” 

 He pushes his lips against her cheek and says, “I’m afraid he’s getting too old. We’ll have to return him soon.” 

 “And what,” she laughs, “trade him in for a newer model?” 

 “Aye, that’s the price of fatherhood most men aren’t willing to pay. But I’m not like those other men.” 

 She doesn’t need to be facing him for him to know that she rolls her eyes. “You are absolutely ridiculous.” 

 “--ly in love with you,” he corrects. She does spin around now, turning to face him and burying her face in his neck as her arms hold him in her iron grip. “What is it?” he whispers into her hair more seriously. 

 “Nothing,” she responds softly. “I’m just… happy. It still surprises me sometimes. That we’re here and celebrating our son’s birthday together; that nothing’s stopping us.” 

 “Aye, love, me too,” he agrees, running his hands up and down along the contours of her spine. “I wouldn’t trade it for the world.” 

 “You won’t ever have to,” she reminds him with a smile as she pulls away just enough to look at him. “We won.” 

 He grins down at her, running his thumb along her cheek as he holds her jaw with his palm. With her ex-husband being found guilty on all charges, his life sentence without the possibility for parole means they’ll never be apart again. “Yes, my love,” he says, leaning down to kiss her chastely. “Let’s simply avoid the scorned husbands and attempts on both of our lives in the future, aye?”

 She agrees with a nod. “Yes, that sounds like a good plan. Fucking idiot got exactly what he deserved, though.” 

 He laughs and says, “as eloquently put as always. I couldn’t agree more.” 

 As it turns out, the prosecution lawyer was very experienced and was able to use Walsh’s statements of intent to kill his wife, as well as the loaded gun pointed directly at her and at the sheriff, to prove two counts of attempted second degree murder, plus assault with a deadly weapon, plus domestic violence, plus election fraud, plus embezzelment. Suffice it to say, Walsh won’t be seeing much daylight for quite some time. 

 Of course, the honorable man in Killian almost thought that sending his mistress’s husband to jail for life as a means to be with her was taking the cheap way out, but he got over those feelings very quickly. It’s not about Killian being with Emma, after all. Not really. 

 As their son laughs raucously on the swing set with his cousin, he sees exactly what it’s about. 

 “I suppose we should do the cake,” Emma finally sighs, lifting her head 

 “I suppose,” he concedes, squeezing her tighter in his hold and pressing a kiss to her temple. 

 ~~~~

 The afternoon rolls into evening, everyone finding a lawn chair or chaise lounge to relax in as David starts a fire and Mary Margaret prepares for an outdoor movie. Honestly, Killian’s son is spoiled with the grandeur of his sixth birthday party, with the giant white screen and the projector displaying The Good Dinosaur for all the children to enjoy. 

 Emma sighs happily as she leans back against Killian’s chest, taking his wrists in her hands and pulling his arms around her middle. She feels warm against him as the fire heats her skin and her sweatshirt, and he can’t get enough of the feeling of the weight of her body pressed to his own. 

 “I love you,” she finally whispers into the dark as the movie starts, the sounds enough to drown out her voice so that only Killian can hear.

 “I love you, too,” he agrees softly, sentimentally, squeezing her just a bit tighter. “More than just about anything.” 

 “Just about?” 

 He hums out a laugh and nods. “I’m afraid I love our son just a tiny bit more than you. That’s normal, right?” 

 “Yes,” she agrees softly, turning to face him and pressing a kiss to his neck. “I’m afraid I love our kids more than you, too.” 

 He smiles and laughs lightly against her, returning her soft kiss with one of his own as he sighs and looks on at their son happily enjoying his special day. “Wait,” he says as it finally dawns on him; the specific wording she chose and the coy smile she dons through a giggle. “Kids?” 

 She hums in agreement, nodding against his chest and pulling his arms tighter around herself until his palm is pressed to her stomach. “I found out this morning.” 

 “Emma,” he breathes, unable to comprehend her meaning. 

 “I was thinking if it’s a boy, we could name him after your brother. At least his middle name. Thoughts?” 

 “Emma,” he tries again, separating his arms and pulling away only far enough to help her turn towards him. “Are you…” 

 “Shh,” she insists, pressing her finger to his lips and grinning at him and she turns to face him head on. Then she whispers, “it’s a secret. I’m pregnant.” 

 He can’t breathe, a shocked sound coming out of his mouth as he leans towards her and captures her lips in his. She grins against him, holding onto the neck of his sweatshirt to pull him impossibly closer to herself. “You’re sure?” 

 “I’ll call the doctor on Monday to make an appointment, but I took three tests. All positive.” 

 “Fuck,” he breathes almost silently, trying hard not to alert those around them of their shift in mood but finding it near impossible. “Fuck, I love you. I thought…” 

 She shakes her head, cradling the back of his neck in her hands as she answers his silent question. “I probably never would’ve been ready,” she explains. They’ve talked about it in passing, and she’s insisted that her last pregnancy was difficult and that she’s still recovering from the trauma she’s endured and is therefore unable to consider the possibility of having another child. “If I had a say, I probably would’ve kept putting it off,” she whispers. “But… surprise.” She shrugs and grins at him.

 He kisses her, because he can think of no other way to express his feelings towards her than to show her what she means to him. There are no words to tell her exactly what she’s given him, not just now, but every second he’s known her. No words, except, “marry me.” 

 She giggles breathlessly, the air escaping her lips hitting the tip of his nose as she gasps, “what?” 

 With a grin, he responds more seriously, “marry me. Please.” He clears his throat and tries again. “Emma Swan-- love of my life, mother of my children-- will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” 

 “You’re serious?” she breathes softly, careful not to alert the other parents present of the sudden shift between them. “You know I just got divorced, like, two months ago.” 

 “Aye, but I should've asked you to marry me seven years ago. The divorce is merely semantics.” 

 She laughs breathlessly again, disbelievingly, and nods her head before pulling him close to her. “Yes,” she whispers against him before pressing a passionate, if not also chaste, kiss to his lips. He can tell that she wants to deepen it, perhaps she wants to take him inside and show him how excited she is, but they're at their son’s birthday party and they have to keep things G-Rated. PG; nothing higher. “Yes,” she says again. Then once more, “yes, I’ll marry you.” 

 Andrew Liam Jones was born seven months later. He was monitored closely throughout Emma’s pregnancy to ensure proper development of his lungs, and when he was born, he screamed like a banshee to alert his parents of his healthy arrival. He weighed seven pounds, three ounces, and was twenty-one inches long. His big brother, newly renamed Henry David Jones following an amendment to his birth certificate, refused to leave the baby’s side until he fell asleep, needing to be carried out of the maternity suite by his uncle while his parents took in the bliss and terror of having a new life to care for. 

 Emma and Killian were married two months after the arrival of their second child, the small ceremony taking place on the secluded, rocky beach in Storybrooke, Maine. At first, Killian wanted to remove his family from the hellish town that nearly stole his life away from him, but she disagreed. This was where they were reunited. This was where they found each other again. This was where she found herself again. It’s where her children were born and raised. So, when she finds a beautiful, blue victorian style home on the outskirts of town and cries at how perfect it is for their family, at how close she would be to her sister, they place an offer. And they win. 

 They won when they found each other again and they know that they will never lose at anything ever again so long as they have each other. 

~~~~

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Tagging: @courtorderedcake @kmomof4 @stahlop @klynn-stormz @laschatzi @emelizabeth88 @lfh1226-linda @kday426 @elisethewritingbeast @timeless-love-story @captain-emmajones @gingerpolyglot @ebcaver @ilovemesomekillianjones @teamhook @superchocovian @itsfabianadocarmo @tiganasummertree @gingerchangeling @jrob64 @onceratheart18 @xhookswenchx @winterbaby89 @swampmedusa @ultraluckycatnd @dancingnancyy @love-with-you-i-have-everything @shireness-says @snowbellewells​ @hollyethecurious @ouatpost @daxx04 @the-darkdragonfly @donteattheappleshook​ @therooksshiningknight @eeteeaytay​ @xsajx​ @itsfridaysomewhere​ @alexa-fangirl-forever​ @jonesfandomfanatic​ @wefoundloveunderthelight​ @qualitycoffeethings​ @rapunzelsghosts​ @spaceconveyor

[meadow-roses]

aske time :) for the writing asks: A1, A2, A10, A12, A14, your choice of anything in B, C8 ( :^) ), C11, D6

A1: Introduce the characters from one of your current WIPs in one or two sentences each. 

Okay let's gooo,,, I'll do The Keepers cause I haven't talked about that one as much. These aren't gonna be the best descriptions but whatever 

Ketsler: Quirky, fun-loving, everyone's weird grandpa, but also the most powerful person to have ever lived. He's old- so very, very old- and he's seen so much over all the centuries he has been protecting the worlds from Chaos, but he still makes an effort to slow down and appreciate the little things around him, because he knows better than most how fleeting life is.

Skylar: Skylar is from a world where faerie circles are real and witches turn people into frogs and trolls live in great, big castles and are slain by talking cats, a world where there's too much adventure to stay in one place, too many people to meet, and too many monsters to slay to stop running. He may be only a human (ooo mystery!!) but he is proficient in Wind magic and carries around a good bit of rune stones he and his pet dragon have found along his adventures. 

Felix: Felix is just a normal human from a small town after the earth becomes united under one world power. He wasn't born with superpowers like most soldiers are, but he was still skilled enough to join a special force working behind enemy lines when the rebellion made its move to free the planet from the tyranny that built this dystopian reality. 

Betty: A very sweet young lady, she's from a planet that was colonized by humans centuries ago. She may seem naive, but Betty can read anyone like a book and uses her gift to help those who are lost find themselves again. 

There's more characters but I'll just stick with those main ones cause I really struggle with descriptions xD

A2: Who's your favorite character to write and why?

Probably Joden? I haven't written most of my characters, but I looove writing his dialogue. He also makes me think so I can keep him clever lol

A10: What’s your character development process like? (As in how you develop them, not necessarily their development in-story)

I roleplay them! The more developed they are, the more I've acted as them. It really gets me inside their head to try and think like how they think, and that results in me being more equipped to "discover" why they are like that. 

A12: What kind of internal conflict does your character go through (want versus need, personality complexes or strong personality flaws/”fatal flaw” kinda thing)? How does this affect them?

It really varies depending on the character? For example Joden has this need to always have a plan, always be in control, and a breaking moment for him comes in when he finally just,,, doesn't know what to do. He's in over his head and the only thing he can do is trust Jacer to do what he can- knowing Jacer doesn't have things under control. 

So that's an example of a flaw that the character gets to overcome, but there also characters whose flaws are part of who they are. Skylar wouldn't be Skylar if he weren't stubborn. Ketsler wouldn't be Ketsler if he weren't arrogant. They never grow out of these flaws, they just learn to control them. Or I guess not be controlled by the flaw. 

This is actually something I think I struggle with for my characters, giving them those visable flaws. I see other people's characters that start out "bad" and grow into heroes, but it kinda seems like all my characters start out as heroes. 😅 I mean, they have flaws, but in comparison to other people's characters they feel really bland in that aspect. Idk

A14: Ramble about your characters. Anything special you like about them? Random little details you’ve added that you enjoy? 

Uh,,, I don't even know where to start I just love all of them for so many various reasons. Joden is just a clever little genius but he still can be so naive. He just has simple pleasures and it's not hard to make him laugh or smile and practically impossible to discourage him. He starts off just,,, wanting his old life back and then he sees what the world is like outside his little bubble and the bubble pops. He sees the atrocities for what they are and to be able to settle down again, he has to fix it. He can't just smile and do as he's told, he can't let the bad guys win. It I just his mother and wife and son he's fighting for, it's the entire wood and the idea of being actually, truly, free.

Jacer is so savvy, he knows what to do and what to say to get into and out of any situation, but at the same time he's just clueless when it comes to genuine connection. He's a princeling who's really never had a friend and now he's saving the world with Joden who only knows how to make genuine connections. Why does he have to keep hugging me??  

And Twylla who's ready to fight anything so she can get her clever idiot husband back? 

Adric who's just doing his best to be a good leader but everything keeps going wrong. He wasn't born to be a king, he wasn't born to lead an army, he always had his big brother to help him do these things and he's gone- he's gone and he's not coming back he messed up again so bad and yet here he is with everyone looking to him for answers and he doesn't know what to tell them. But he's got his friends, and he's got a good heart, and he genuinely cares and they're going to figure it out.

Skylar just keeps running forward and he never looks back at the past he just jumps from one adventure to another stopping the monsters and saving the day. He's got Gigi what more does he need? 

Felix is just,,, he's just such a nice guy. Over and over he stepped into the gap because someone's gotta fly that fighter, someone's got to fire that gun, someone's got to stabilize the bomb, someone's going to lose their life to ensure the victory, why shouldn't it be him? But he never actually dies, somehow he always survives and lives to fight the next day, and the next day and the next day, and then they win the war- the world is free. And even though he's been through so much he still hasn't lost that kindness, that love for all life that makes him himself. He still falls in love and starts a family and has his own beloved children… and even when he loses them he still doesn't become cynical. He still stands in the gap and is the one to fire the gun, to hold the hand of the one who's mourning, to scoop up the orphan child and carry them home. He fights, so others don't have to. Father to the fatherless and hero for all. Also he puts up with Skylar's time traveling craziness lol

And Ketsler? Unlike everyone else he never chose to be a hero. What are you supposed to do when you're a four year old boy and everyone tells you you're the hero they've been waiting for, praying for, you have to save them. It wasn't at all his choice to be born with the power of the universe running through his veins. To hold the Inness in his hands and bend reality to his will. But he didn't run away. He never hid from his destiny. He took the world onto his shoulders and never set it down. Only once- and he's never going to do it again. Never going to ask someone to fill in his role for him, it is his burden to bear… Except not anymore. Despite being multi-millenniums old, all that time didn't dull his appreciation for the little things. A baby's smile, sunshine through the leaves, the change of the seasons. The union of two souls in marriage, or the colors of the sunset streaking a foreign sky. He still sees these things, loves these things, fights for these things. Cause it's the little things he's fighting for, not just the big things. The precious moments and precious lives that make up the worlds. One of his apprentices asked him once, he'd been fighting for so long, when was it going to end? It's not his job to strike the final blow, to end the suffering and bloodshed, just to help. He saves the world, so that he can save it again. 

I have… several more characters I'd love to ramble about but that answer's gotten pretty long so I'll cut it off there. XD

B3: Do you have any plot twists? No need to describe them, just think about what kind of reaction you want from your readers. 

Oh I was just talking to August about this the other day. XD There is one plot twist in the Keeper's story I'm reeaaally looking forward to hehe I want to make people confused and then really mad when the whole thing is stretched out. >:) 

C8: Does magic exist in your world? Who can use it? How does it work?

It really depends on which WIP, but in general I like to keep magic restricted with rules. Joden's story and the Keeper's story are in the same universe (along with ThRoG) and follows that magic system. It's too complicated to go in depth here, but "magic" exists in another plane of existence, and things in the material world have varying levels of connection with it. It's kinda the energy that holds all worlds together and sustains life. The magic realm- the Inness is not a place where physical matter should exist, only spirits can walk there. 

Wizards are creatures that stand with one foot in the physical realm and the other in the Inness. Tevlar is destroying the world basically by turning it inside out- pulling the Inness out.

C11: Have you developed historical figures? How do you develop them? How in-depth do you go?

Oh yes. I am a complete history nerd so if any world EXISTS it has history, and history only happens because people. 

Sometimes it's a thought through process of "somebody needs to go here" and sometimes it's an npc from a time travel rp that took on more importance than I originally intended. 

It really varies how in depth it will go? Sometimes it's just a name to fill a spot and other times it's like, man I could write a whole book about this guy!

One historical figure would be Ares of the Pegasus. He was a powerful warrior that won a bunch of wars and united the different pegasus clans under his leadership and became the first king. He's really famous and people like naming their kids after him in a kinda superstitious hope they'll grow into attributes of his character. Ares is the male form of the name, Aris is for girls. It's like, the most common Pegasian name. XD

D6: Are there any writing styles that inspire you?

Probably the first writing style I wanted to emulate was Tolkien's, but I also really liked Andrew Peterson's? Tolkien is so dramatic, and Peterson isn't heavy on location descriptions, so I'm kinda aiming for in between I guess. 

[fuchsiagrasshopper]

Chase the Sun

Author’s Note: This is a request I answered for @akusen-kutou, and I hope it turned out as close to what you imagined!

Vikings Masterlist

Pairing: Modern Floki x Reader

Word Count: 2774

Warnings: Language

Floki was feeling old. In fact, it was something Ivar and Hvitserk had said to him earlier during lunch. He cherished the moments spent in the company of the sons of his old friend, and the ribbing shared among them. But that afternoon had been different. The taunts he had received had lingered in a manner most unexpected, like an uninvited guest.

"You boys are starting to look old. You better hurry up and marry soon, or all the good ones will be gone," He teased Ragnar's two sons across the table from him.

"Take a look in the mirror, old man. We're not the ones who are actually…" Ivar paused with a smirk. 

"Old," Hvitserk supplied around a mouthful of spaghetti. 

Laughter erupted at the table as they tucked in.

At the time he hadn't thought much of it, but something unpleasant had remained with him when he thought about his age and where he was in this moment of his life. 

Since Helga's passing in an automobile accident five years ago, he had remained a widower. The first year he had been lost in his grief and had thrown himself into his work. Then one became two, and the idea of finding someone new had been put upon him. His loved ones were only showing their concern, so he tried not to hold it against them, but the idea of anyone else in his life that wasn't Helga was strange. It would have felt like replacing her.

More years had passed, and in that time he had forgotten about being alone and had come to accept it. He embraced tragedy with a quiet aloofness. It never bothered him before, or maybe he had just refused to let it. Helga would be mad that he turned reclusive once again. It was how she found him when they first fell in love, and she had managed her way into his heart while also coaxing him out into the open. Floki knew himself to be bizarre, and maybe even crazy, but he would never apologize or try to change how he was. If others didn't understand him, then he would simply remove himself from their company. It seemed he had slipped back into that old habit.

The night was cold as he walked the streets. The last bits of autumn were clinging to hold on as winter chased close behind. Lights and wreaths were being hung on storefronts as the holiday season began, and sales were flashed in big numbers to lure in the early shopper. Christmas used to be Floki's favorite time of the year, only because it was Helga's. He would construct all sorts of decorations around their home, to the point where it looked like clutter, just to see her smile. Last year he hadn't even bothered with a tree.

He rounded the corner of the block, coming close to the park. It was where he liked to frequent when he had thoughts that he couldn't silence. The stars were more visible when standing under the shade of the trees, away from the streetlights. Floki believed in the divine, a being that was something greater than himself. He wouldn't call it God, and he never attended church, but he felt a deep connection to unseen forces. It gave him hope that Helga was still out there and that the soul was eternal. Their separation was only a temporary thing, something he would have to navigate alone.

"Floki!"

He startled at his name being called and had not realized he had stumbled so far into the park. Retracting from the bush, he stumbled out onto an empty pathway. Just ahead was a wooden bench, and a small lamp that's pale glow pierced the dark of the small pocket of the park he was in. He strained his ears, holding his breath as he tried to listen to the unfamiliar voice.

"Floki, come back here."

He frowned at the command. Should he answer? Who would even know he was there? The voice wasn't ringing any bells. He stepped further onto the path when a large creature came bounding down towards him. Swallowing back a gasp, Floki was pounced on by a lummox of a German Shepherd.

"You're a big one," He managed to say as he pushed back on the snout of the beast that was preoccupied with digging his nose into Floki's coat. A handsome specimen and he was quick to forget his annoyance at being caught off guard as he knelt down to stroke the dog behind the collar. "What are you doing out here, huh?"

"Floki!" He heard the unfamiliar voice call out again in distress. 

"Right here," He replied without thought, caught up in his new wild friend. Floki had an appreciation for all living things, and he might have suggested opening a zoo to Helga once or twice. It was a good thing she always refused. 

"Oh thank goodness," The voice said, coming from the same direction that the shepherd had sprung out of. He now had a face to go with the voice, and it was one he couldn't recall. Had they ever met before?

"There you are," You said, coming closer to the dog whose attention leaped back onto you from Floki. The shepherd showered you with excited licks across the face as you crouched down. You were laughing from the affection, and Floki felt a sudden disappointment at the loss of his new furry friend. "Thank you for finding him. We've been trying off-leash, but it's not going so well."

"Oh, it was no trouble. He found me," Floki replied as he stood away, feeling awkward and neglected now that the dog had you back.

You clipped a red leash back onto the leather collar while the shepherd observed you with blind trust. His tongue rolled out of the side of his mouth when you gave him a brisk scratch on the chin. "So what now, Floki?"

Floki frowned. There you went again, and he was certain this time that he hadn't let slip his name. "What do you mean?"

You looked back at him with confusion. "I'm not sure I understand," You said.

Floki did. The realization struck swift as lightning as he looked down at the dog and then back to you. An airy giggle set out from his lips before he could contain it, and he was glad for it. It truly was a funny coincidence. 

"Floki," He said pointing to himself, and then at the dog. "Floki."

Your face bloomed into a delighted smile. "That's your name?"

"Yes. I thought we'd met once, and I had forgotten you, but you were searching for this one the whole time," He explained with much relief. 

"You know, he got the name completely by mistake. I had meant to call him Loki, but when the license arrived in the mail, it said Floki. And actually both the F and L were capitalized, so the clerk must have hit the F accidentally," You explained in a rushed ramble. "Sorry, you probably didn't want to hear all of that."

"No, no. I've never met another namesake before, and one with a connection to the Nordic Gods. Loki would have suited well, he does seem to be giving you trouble."

You smiled while Dog-Floki began to scout the area of the park. "Oh yes, since day one. He's a rescue, and actually, we were out celebrating. It's been a year since I brought him home."

"Congratulations. I should leave you two to it then," He said, bouncing from one foot to the other. "Goodnight."

"Wait a minute," You said, and the hint of desperation in your voice stopped Floki in his path. "Did you...did you want to grab a coffee or a tea?"

Floki blinked, and he might have forgotten how to breathe. No one had asked him to do anything like that in years, except for any of Ragnar's sons. But a woman no less, he was startled and a tad fearful at the meaning. He realized a long stretch of silence had passed without him giving you an answer, and you began to grow embarrassed. 

"Nevermind, forget I said anything. That was weird of me, I mean we only just met, and you thought I knew your name." You suddenly shut your mouth while pinching the bridge of your nose. "Listen to me rambling. I just, I didn't want to come across as desperate, but I've lived here for two years and I still don't really have a circle of friends to speak of. After my first year, I adopted this guy and then another year has passed and I'm no different."

By now Dog-Floki had returned to your side, staring up at you as if to try and calm your frayed nerves. Floki understood the loneliness you were feeling, even though your circumstances differed from his.

"I don't like coffee," He spoke up and you looked positively stricken. "But I like peppermint tea."

"Really?" You breathed out a hopeful sigh and began to lead the dog by his leash. "Because there's a place close to here that also makes a latte I like."

"Yes," Floki replied, not knowing what else to say. He didn't want to come across as too enthusiastic, but your excitement was contagious. 

You signal for him to follow, and he shuffled after to catch up. As he kept pace beside you, Floki couldn't help but observe you closer. He guessed that you were maybe only a few years younger than him. Still youthful, but with enough wisdom in your eyes and smile lines on your face that gave away to the years you had weathered. When you caught him looking in your peripheral,  he looked away with an embarrassed flush at being caught. 

"What is it?" You prodded.

"Nothing," Floki replied, covering his nervousness with a cough. "You aren't from here you said. Where did you move from?"

"Akureyri. My family is still there, but I came here to work."

"What do you do?"

"I'm a recreational therapist. I work with seniors in transition facilities."

Hearing that you worked with seniors made him think back to the 'old' comment again. You must be good at your job, however, as Floki couldn't recall having a fun, free night like this in months. Maybe Ivar and Hvitserk were right. His thinking process caused him to let slip another giggle, and you shot him a curious look.

"Well, what do you do, Floki? I feel like I've been talking too much about myself, and I hate to do that."

"I'm a contractor. Since I can remember, I've always been building things. Instead of growing out of that phase, I turned it into a career," He said with a shrug. "It's nothing impressive really, but I get to be creative. That's all I've ever wanted."

Dog-Floki came around between you both and nudged at Floki's hand until he fit his snout into his palm. Floki heeded the animal's need for attention, petting him back with soft strokes on the head. 

"So you're creative, and are good with animals," You said, admiring the affection he was showering on your dog. "Do you have any pets...or children?"

Floki hummed. "No pets, no. My friend's sons are certainly rowdy enough to qualify as animals, and I think of them as my nephews. But no children for me."

His description had you chuckling. "I know how that is. I have nieces and nephews of my own. I hope they think of me as their cool aunt and not the wacky one whose gifts they exchange."

You seemed perfectly not wacky to him. The back and forth conversation continued between you, and Floki found himself giving shorter answers just so he could hear you talk more about yourself. He had forgotten what it was like to meet someone new, and the weightless feeling it caused in his gut. 

The main street was a little busier than when Floki had left it, and the air had grown cooler as the night advanced. You pointed ahead to the shop coming up on your right, and you picked up a grin.

"There, Bliss Bakery. They've become a staple in my diet since moving here. I don't mind the extra calories though, it gives me an excuse to take Floki on runs."

Just as Floki was about to open his mouth and reply, someone called out across the street. 

"Floki."

Dog-Floki's ears perked up, but this time the voice was familiar and Floki knew it was for him.

"I think those men are calling on you," You said while calming your excited dog.

"A lot of that going around tonight," Floki said as he cringed at the sight of Ivar and Hvitserk making their way over. "Here comes some of those animals I told you about."

You watched the young men approaching with curiosity as they bumbled together, laughing as they went. Floki could tell by the volume of their voices that they had been drinking. Hopefully, they hadn't left their good manners at the bar.

"Hey, you old bastard. What are you up to?" Ivar called.

Floki flinched. So much for his hopes of them having a semblance of decency. 

"And who's that with you?" Hvitserk asked, squinting even as they moved closer.

Floki had his mouth opened, about to answer when you chimed in.

"Hi, I'm (Y/N). A new friend of Floki's," You said, sticking your hand out to Hvitserk. "You must be the animals he told me about."

Ivar adjusted on his crutches while tossing Floki a funny look. "What have you been saying about us?"

"The truth," Floki said with a shrug. "I had to convince your father not to take you all to the pound more than once."

There was an eruption of laughter, but Floki wasn't fooled. He could see both Ivar and Hvitserk eyeing you with interest and he could only fret over what they were thinking. 

"So, where did you two meet?" Ivar prodded.

"Yeah," Hvitserk added. "I didn't know you had friends Floki…no offense."

"We met in the park back that way," You said, pointing on your tip-toes. "It was about a half-hour ago."

"Of course it was," Ivar muttered.

"We have the same name," Floki interjected, gesturing to the dog who was preoccupied with the two newcomers.

"You and the dog? No kidding," Hvitserk said as he petted the shepherd.

Floki nodded. "So, what are you two doing here?"

"We met some girls for drinks. Figured it was time. We didn't want to--what was it you said--get old?" Ivar smirked while avoiding the cold nose of the dog who was trying to bury his snout against his leg. "We should get going and let you two get back to your evening."

"Right. It was nice meeting you (Y/N). Maybe we'll get to talk more next time," Hvitserk said with a wave. 

You nodded. "I hope so."

Floki turned to you, surprised with how your confident answer provided him with reassurance. His nephews hadn't scared you away, and better still they seemed to accept your sudden intrusion in his life. He wasn't sure what he had done to earn you as a new friend in his life, but forces at work must have been smiling down on him.

"You'd really put up with seeing them again?" He asked, feeling his brow furrow. 

"Sure, they seem perfectly rowdy but without having to crate train," You breathed with a laugh and Floki joined you. "Here, you take Floki. I'll get our drinks to-go."

You passed him the leash before he even had a chance to reach for his wallet. "Let me pay."

"No, my treat this time. I'll let you get the next one." You pulled on the door of the bakery but halted a moment before stepping inside. "And I'll get us some palmiers. They're my favorite," You said before disappearing inside.

Floki smiled at you through the window. "Mine too," He murmured.

Dog-Floki sat down on the sidewalk by his feet and let out a sharp bark as he gazed up at the sky. Floki followed his line of sight,  and it was as if all the clouds had parted to make way for the stars. He couldn’t remember the city sky ever being so clear. When a particular star began to flicker and twinkle, he took it as a sign that from this night until the end of his days, he would no longer be alone. She was still out there and had brought you to him. 

"Thank you, Helga."

[hiccanna-tidbits]

Do you maybe have some headcanons or Au or something for Moana x Merida? I really like that ship! 🤗and I like your moodboards with moanida! ^^

Anon I need you to know I am literally crying TEARS OF JOY because I have FINALLY received an Ask on this humble little blog and I am OVERJOYED

Yes, I would love to talk about Moanida!!!

I’ve got a few AUs I kinda play around with for them--might make moodboards of them one of these days! A couple I really like are a Mermaid AU and a Selkie AU, probably with Moana as the mermaid/selkie because of her ocean connection??? But I really like the idea of Selkie!Merida too, since it would go so nicely with selkies in Scottish folklore and all that. Either way it solves the geographical issue because they can just swim to each other!!! Also yes, these gay girls crossing literal oceans for each other is absolutely the hill I’m going to die on. I’m also a fan of a sort of Mythology/Goddess AU where like Moana is an ocean goddess and Merida is a volcano goddess of sorts akin to Te Ka with cool lava hair and scary volcanic rock skin and only Moana’s soothing ocean waters can calm her eruptive (heh, get it?) rage. And this also means FORBIDDEN SAPPHIC LOVE FORBIDDEN SAPPHIC LOVE FORBIDDEN SAPPHIC LOVE

Also MOANIDA HEADCANONS YESSSS

I thought up some just for you <3 Some are more general and some are more specific AU-focused so I tried to sort them by AU but there’s probably gonna be some overlap.

General ~Merida is THE most overprotective girlfriend. Like she knows Moana’s independent and can take care of herself, but she absolutely will not tolerate slander of or threats to her girlfriend of any kind. If Merida were to meet Maui at any period in the timeline where he and Moana weren’t really cool yet and he was still being kind of a dick to Moana, Merida would try to fight a literal demigod. She doesn’t give a single fuck. ~Once Merida hears about the Tamatoa Incident, she wants to fight every crab she sees. She also develops a taste for crabcakes and crab rangoons because she starts eating lots of crabmeat solely out of spite. Moana finds this endlessly amusing. ~Moana definitely has the braincell between them. She’s constantly having to hold Mer back and talk her down from starting shit. Merida would unleash the Rage of a Thousand Suns upon her enemies if given half the chance. ~Merida is very physically active and loves working out--she would work out twice a day if given the chance. She’s just really about those exercise endorphins. Moana makes her fresh tropical fruit bowls and tropical fruit smoothies for after her workouts. Merida adores these and eventually she absolutely refuses to drink any smoothies not made by her girlfriend. ~They’re both lowkey caffeine addicts. Merida usually loathes getting up early (unless it’s to work out or go riding with Angus) and will snap at anyone and everyone until she’s had coffee. Moana knows how to get her hands on these really amazing-tasting, obscure types of Polynesian coffee, so she hooks them up with The Good Stuff. After tasting the coffee Moana gets, Merida honestly never wants any other B-tier type of coffee again. ~They love to go sailing in Moana’s boat. In a modern AU where the boat has a motor, Merida likes to make them go really fast for the adrenaline rush and the feeling of wind in her hair. It kinda freaks Moana out to go that fast, but it’s honestly worth it for the look of absolute elation on Merida’s face, and the way she laughs and cheers the whole time. ~Sometimes they like to go out on more calm, tranquil night sails. Once they’re a ways out, they just lie on the deck and stargaze. Moana points out all the constellations to Merida and rambles about how to navigate with them. Merida just turns and watches her with this super-smitten look the entire time. ~Moana teaches Merida some Maori. She teachers her how to say “I love you,” and, at Merida’s request, how to swear. ~Sometimes Moana calls Merida Maori words Mer doesn’t understand. Merida gets mad because she thinks Moana’s insulting her. It turns out she’s just calling Merida a bunch of super sappy Maori pet names. ~Sometimes Merida and Moana just like to talk shit about people who are pissing them off IN Maori, so they don’t understand. ~Whenever Merida absolutely goes OFF on someone for saying something homophobic or sexist or whatever, Moana just stands back and crosses her arms and smirks, and says “Thaaaat’s my girl!” It absolutely never fails to make Merida blush like a madwoman and start blubbering like an idiot and lose her original point completely. ~When they fight, they are SO stubborn, petty, and dramatic about it that they can stay mad at each other for DAYS. For really bad fights, they usually end up needing a mediator (in a RotBTD+ AU, I imagine this would be Rapunzel, Anna, or Hiccup). ~Angus and Pua are best friends. No, I will not be accepting criticism at this time. They get into lots of hijinks and shenanigans, and sometimes they sneak out together and Pua likes to ride around on Angus’s back. When Pua and Angus go missing, Mer and Mo just kind of sigh like “Oh, they’re out adventuring again, aren’t they?” ~Angus also always protects Pua so he never has to be scared of adventuring again!!! Pua still remembers his and Moana’s disastrous first sailing attempt, and Angus makes sure little Pua never gets into danger like that again. ~Hamish, Harris, and Hubert ship it SO hard! Moana turns out to be really good with kids, and has even been known to assist with the boys’ mischief from time to time. They definitely think Moana’s a good person to keep their sister’s chaos in check while not being TOO much of a boring wet blanket stifling her fun. ~Sina absolutely ADORES Merida and basically adopts her and treats her like a second daughter. After hearing Merida doesn’t have the best relationship with her own mom and feels like her mom doesn’t try to understand her or respect that she’s different from her, Sina gets like...SUPER angry and and starts doting on Merida to an almost annoying extent. She never wants Merida to have to feel forced into being someone she’s not, since she saw that with Moana and how much it absolutely KILLED her to be kept away from the ocean. ~Tui is leery of Merida at first, mainly because she seems like she’s going to be a bad influence on his daughter. However, he eventually comes around to her once he sees how much she loves his daughter, and they bond over both being ridiculously overprotective of Moana. ~Fergus also adores Moana, and basically knew Merida was gay from the jump--them dating is 0% a surprise to him. He’s honestly just glad that his daughter has someone more rational and down-to-earth to prevent her from doing anything TOO stupid. ~Elinor meanwhile, traditionalist that she is, is NOT about this whole lesbian thing and would probably be pretty homophobic...at least at first (steaming hot take, I know, she’s just got tradition so far up her ass I don’t know if she’d EVER be okay with her daughter choosing not only to forego marriage to man COMPLETELY--not just delay it--but marry a woman instead, who she couldn’t produce an heir with. Also sorry but I do not like her and probably will not portray her particularly favorably in my HCs sorry not sorry lmao) Maybe she comes around, maybe she doesn’t. I’ll leave that up to your imagination. Although I am not an Elinor fan so I think you already know my take XD ~Moana is grey-asexual grey-aromantic, so she CAN be sexually and romantically interested in people, it’s just...very rare. Merida is basically the only person she’s ever wanted to legit date. Maybe she likes boys too, but she wouldn’t know--she hasn’t found any she’s into thus far. Merida, meanwhile, has always been a raging lesbian, and has had lots of crushes on girls over the years (in an AU where she has the opportunity to, anyhow--ARE there even any girls her age in Dunbroch??? XD). When her parents would read storybooks to her as a kid, she’d always finding herself getting doe-eyed over the “fair maidens” rather than the fearless, ripped warriors who saved them from danger.  No crush ever hit her quite as hard as Moana did, though. But Merida knows for a damn fact she isn’t into men--90% of the time she can’t stand them and their antics, and the only men she’s ever really felt any kind of affection for are ones in her family or ones who remind her of one or more of her family members. ~Moana makes Merida flower crowns. Merida grumbles endlessly about how “girly” they are, so Moana hunts down some black flowers to make one with so it’ll look a bit more badass and intimidating. Merida absolutely LOVES it and wears it everywhere. ~Merida teaches Moana how to horseback ride and how to shoot a bow and arrow. She’s pretty not great at either at first, but Merida is incredibly patient with her. This shocks everyone around them, because since when is Merida patient with anyone? ~Merida also teaches Moana swordplay, and they LOVE to spar with each other. Agressive flirting during sparring sessions is very commonplace. If anyone attacks either Dunbroch or Motunui, Merida and Moana are a force to be reckoned with. ~Likewise, Moana teaches Merida how to sail and some kinda basic naval combat skills (i.e. how to shoot that harpoon gun or whatever it was she used to fight the kikimora off). ~They don’t have sex that often because neither of them has that high of a sex drive, but when they do, Merida tops if a strap-on is used. ~Moana is the kind of person who just kinda sings songs to herself as she goes about her daily routine and her chores. Merida loves to listen in because she thinks Moana has the prettiest singing voice on earth. That doesn’t stop her from teasing Moana about “singing all the got dam time,” though. ~Literally ALWAYS cuddling and kissing when they’re watching something together or just doing any kinda idle activity at home together. These girls cannot keep their hands off of each other. They hold hands in public pretty much everywhere they go, and Merida yells at anyone who makes a fuss about it.

Modern AU ~They meet while Merida is studying abroad in Tahiti. Maybe because Maui (who’s Moana’s cousin or older brother or something) has a tattoo parlor, and of COURSE Merida goes in to get some edgy bow and arrow tattoo to piss her mom off. Or maybe Merida is just snorkeling in one of the coves on one of her days off, and she runs into Moana and they just Vibe. ~I also like the idea of them meeting at a bar/nightclub type place in Papeete--like maybe Maui owns the nightclub because he just likes to party like that, and he lets his little sis Moana poke around in there because he’s lowkey a terrible influence XD And maybe one night Moana’s bartending to make a little extra cash and Merida comes in and gets really drunk on like a huge Sex on the Beach or something and starts really clumsily hitting on Moana and Moana gets SUCH a kick out of it. Merida can’t remember much of the flirting the next day, but she and Moana still become fast friends. ~Merida is constantly ditching class to sneak off and go see Moana. Her grades are plummeting. ~When the semester abroad is over, they promise to keep in touch over the internet--although Moana also wants to write letters because she loves the idea of having a pen pal. Merida teases her mercilessly for being so “old-fashioned” but also doesn’t have the heart to say no. ~They end up confessing they like each other over internet chat. Merida damn well knows she’s gay and has for a while now, but she’s terrified of telling Moana she’s into her because she’s really scared Moana’s straight. So when Moana is the one who ends up confessing to Merida, Merida has literally never been happier in her entire life. ~Once Merida graduates, they decide to just say “fuck it” and move to some big seaside city together (for some reason I really like the idea of them living in Los Angeles???). Merida needs to get away from her overbearing mom and Moana just really wants to see more of the world besides the South Pacific, so away they go! ~BROADWAY MUSICAL NERDS BROADWAY MUSICAL NERDS BROADWAY MUSICAL NERDS! They both fucking LOVE musicals, especially those with sapphic undertones (Wicked, anyone?), and will loudly and obnoxiously sing along to the soundtracks, much to the chagrin of all their neighbors. They’re also pretty big theater fans in general--especially Merida, always rather the dramatic type. ~At some point they save up and go to see Wicked on Broadway together. The trip ends up being one of their all-time favorites, and their fridge is covered in goofy, dumb selfies of them in New York. ~Moana goes to every SINGLE one of Merida’s archery tournaments, and every single game of any other sport she plays. Literally no one cheers more boisterously or enthusiastically than Moana does. Whenever Merida hits a bullseye or scores a goal, Moana grins and nudges the people next to her (even if they’re complete fucking strangers) and goes “That’s my girlfriend!!!” ~Merida is a goddamn punk, and is always walking around in spiked jackets, combat boots, and basically any other clothing that says “don’t fuck with me.” She tried to start a punk rock band once, but it ended up falling through because no one would sponsor Merida’s angry screamo songs about smashing the patriarchy. Moana still went to all of their tiny-ass, tacky concerts though, for the few months they were “touring” the city. ~Merida taught herself how to play electric guitar because she thinks it’s Edgy and Cool. Moana really likes to dance, and knows a fair number of traditional Polynesian dances and has even taught a class or two. Merida learns how to play some traditional Polynesian music on the electric guitar so she can play while Moana dances. The combination of hard rock-esque shredding and a very mellow island dance looks extremely bizarre to anyone watching, but the girls absolutely do not care.

@takaraphoenix I said I’d tag you in Moanida content I made and I am a woman of my word!!! Enjoy!!!

Please y’all, send me more asks about my ships!!! I love to talk about them!!!

[dlamp-dictator]

Allen X Rambles about Chapter 7

“I hope Episode 7 is focused on only 2 or three characters with little distraction... Amiya maybe finding out that Ch’en is slowly becoming Infected and helping her come to terms with that. Ch’en revealing her past to Amiya and the two connecting over losing so many close to them due to Oripathy. The two standing up to the political corruption of Lungmen, shoulder to shoulder, as women that refuse to see another life lost due to the indifference of a city’s politics.”

-Allen X, October 2nd, 2020, Rambling about Chapter 6

Man... I’m starting to believe it when they say Arknight’s story mode is longer than the Harry Potter series. Things are getting crazy in Chapter 7 and crazy-long to in terms of length. This chapter really had me on the edge of my seat as I read through it and as I played through because 7-16 and 7-18 were a bitch to get through that require some of the most precise timing I’ve seen in this game yet. That aside, I enjoyed a lot what I read and experienced.

And I wanted to talk about it a bit.

But first, as always, a synopsis.

Coming off the heels of Frostnova’s death and the realization of Wei Yenwu’s purging of the Lungmen slums, tensions are high and trust has been fractured between Rhodes Island and Lungmen. However, in the midst of Ch’en hot temper and Amiya’s cool head, Reunion is plans to send the Russian Ursusian   city of Chernobog on a collision course with Hong Kong Lungmen, giving Ursus a cause to make war against Lungmen and its great region of Tawain China Yen. However, through some rather amazing political maneuvering and passionate words by Wei Yenwu’s wife Fumizuki, Rhodes Island agrees to mobilize in order to save Lungmen, the Infected, and the beloved daughter of Lungmen, Ch’en. But beyond Chernobog lies Patriot, Reunions greatest commander next to Talulah herself, who’s rage toward his daughter’s death is only matched by his disciplined mind and even more disciplined soldiers. It’s a fight to the center of the Chernobog to save as many lives as possible, even at the cost of this great general’s life.

An Addendum to 7-18

So between my venting about 7-18 when I talked about some fun Arknight’s lore a handful of people wanted to give me some advice on how to conquer that stage. Admittedly that venting was said out of anger and was much more acidic in tone than my usual essays and opinion pieces. I have since beaten that stage and I can give some of my thoughts on this advice. Some of it was helpful... some of it.

“AmIyA cAn TaNk PaTrIoT’s SpEaR tOsS!”

This is technically true and I was technically wrong. When Amiya’s S3 is active she gained increased Max HP and can in fact survive with a sliver of health. However, Amiya’s S3 takes quite a long time to charge even with her talent, and unless someone is actively blocking Patriot her can honestly spam his spear through for how long it takes Amiya to get prepped for her S3. This is more of an issue of Amiya’s balancing than with the game, but I’ll talk about that later.

“jUsT sTaLl PaTrIoT tO kEeP hIm FrOm UsInG tHe SpEaR tOsS!”

This would be pretty viable advice if Patriot didn’t one-shot my units. Yes, defenders like Cuora, Nian, Hoshigumi, and even tankier vanguards like Zima and Siege can tank at least one hit from Patriot without dying, meaning a squad of healers can just focus-fire on them while they do chip damage to Patriot and stall him out. However, Patriot’s phase 2 has him do constant damage to nearby units with his aura ability, so if he can get lucky enough, he take someone down to a sliver and let his poison damage finish off your staller before they get a chance to be healed. That strategy needs luck and some damn smart unit placement. Neither of which I honestly have.

“uSe SpEcTeR aNd DeBuFfErS!”

Again, this is also a pretty good strategy. Specter’s S2 makes her immortal for a limited time and pairing that with healers like Breeze and Celycon who reduce stun damage isn’t a bad idea. Characters that ignore or lower defense like Pramanix, Shamare, and Meteor are also good. This doesn’t work for me however since I only have Pram and the other debuffers are way too underleveled and not on my priority at the moment, and E2-ing units this late in the game just to take out one boss feels like madness.

“f12 CaN dOdGe ThE sPeAr ToSs!”

F12, W, Jessica, and FEater have a dodge chance. Their dodges are not guarantees. Yes, Patriot will target the ranged operator furthest from him and there are range tiles pretty close to his spawn point for that purpose. However, some of those operators have some pretty damn expensive DP costs and waste that on a chance to survive isn’t worth.And feeding Patriot ranged units that take over 30 seconds to redeploy is a waste of DP in general. And those either dodge chances aren’t viable. Them surviving isn’t a strategy, it’s a fluke, and you can’t depend on flukes in auto-deployment.

“Allen, you’re being kind of an asshole to what’s actually sound advice.”

Yes, I am. 

I don’t care. 

7-18 does things to a person, man. That stage breaks people. I lost sanity IRL just doing that stage or 20 times with a guide... dear lord this stage.

Anyway, moving on.

Story Notes

My, this story sure was thick, wasn’t it? It’s been while since I’ve been on a ride that wild. And this time around I don’t have any small issues to bring up. All the characters felt in character without breaking my suspension of disbelief. There weren’t multiple character arcs going on at once. And I even tolerated Kal’tsit berating the Doctor for reasons beyond his understand since she wasn’t discussing too many things that were above my head as the player.

No... I only have big issues. 

But before that, I wanted to hit on some actual important notes that were very good and smartly written.

Rosmontis and Child Soldiers

This was probably the biggest takeaway for me. I know the Arknights community likes to poke a lot of fun about the child soldier thing and how Kal’tsit is harboring slave children, but... man, it makes so much since now.

These kids aren’t just kids, they’re all infected people with some rather scary abilities. Popukar has a history of mental instability coupled with monstrous strength. Ifrit has powers she can just barely keep under control and could set Rhodes Island ablaze at any point. Frostleaf and GreyThroat are deeply traumatized from their past. The Ursus Self Government are full of kids with hatred, resentment, and fear of both the world and themselves. The list goes on, but the fact is that these kids all either have abilities that would be a danger to themselves and others if they aren’t trained, or have emotional hang-ups that might very well have them lash out at innocent people if not put on a leash. Wouldn’t it be better to at least give them some training and let them hack and blast away at the actual bad guys? Wouldn’t it be better to at least make them a weapon for some kind of greater good? And would anyone else really treat these broken, powerful children as anything but weapons and warriors anyway?

I know this is about chapter 7, but I remember in Children of Ursus Rosa asked Zima why she fought, and Zima casually answered that she just liked fighting. It’d be far better to have someone with that mindset working for an organization like Rhodes Island than ending up in Ursus’s fold and blindly hacking at something she shouldn’t. 

And I think it’s important to remind everyone that Amiya is the head of Rhodes Island and not Kal’tsit. She’s a big part of the organization, but it’s the bunny in charge. And the bunny that is herself close to a living nuke and is also has empathetic superpowers understands this probably better than anyone else, which is why she okays it. 

Patriot and Reunion

As much as I despise, and I do mean despise, how cagey this series can be with it’s portrayal of Reunion’s morality I can understand why a lot of its members can see the group as being just. Patriot is a warrior of such renown and praise, and Talulah has so much charisma and power that I can see the group overlooking characters like Mephisto and W when the other two do so much for their members and general people. The Guerillas under Patriot behave like soldiers. They don’t rampage, loot, pillage, or harm everyone in sight, only those that halt, stagnant, and harm the infect. Talulah has a charisma about her and attracts people, and seems to come from some sort of royal/noble line to match. And while Faust wasn’t mentioned much in this chapter, he was a soldier that started at the bottom, worked his way to the top, and made sure to play by rules that kept his moral high ground. Mephisto seems to be the only outliner here for some baffling reason.

But... there are some major issues with this story. I hint at them every time I talk about Arknights’ story, but I’ll go into depth here. And I’ll present these two issues I have in the form of a two question:

Who is the Doctor?

I don’t mean this the sense of the story, but what is his function as a character? Is he a self-insert for the player, or his own character to be explored and examined?

And either answer, to me, is wrong. 

The Doctor Isn’t a Self-Insert

It’s straight up impossible for the Doctor to be a self-insert character. Most self-inserts are blank enough to let us place our own personality onto them and the situations their in the choices they make are meant to be more or less choices we’d make or at least a general audience could make barring some specifics. Their personalities tend to be blank or at least bland to let us, the players, live through them and project our personalities onto them.

The Doctor isn’t this. 

There are too many moment where our choices are clearly pointing to one conclusion and most choices, though varied, give a clear idea that the Doctor is someone that care about the operators’ wellbeing deeply and hates seeing them used, abused, or manipulated. They are strategist and commander, but they have enough humanity to not see people as tools. They are passionate when they see other operators and especially Amiya in harms way and tries to come up with strategies to minimize lost and causalities. Awhile we, the player, feel the same in this regard the Doctor has dialogue that feels more conversational and toward specific directions than what a player would likely want and gives us some bits and piece about what they’re actually like. 

The Doctor hates Kal’tsit and wants little to do with her, only tolerating her presence as much as she is with the Doctor. The Doctor is a bit of a bleeding heart that doesn’t fully grasp that they are constantly in a warzone despite their strategic competency. The Doctor has an extremely weird diet and eating style, devouring live animals and ingesting foods that would probably need to be probably mixed and brewed before consumption. The Doctor still sees Amiya as a child despite her mature nature. 

The list goes on, but there’s enough there for me to say the Doctor is more like Hakuno Kishinami of the Fate/Extra series, a character that seems like a self-insert but has a number of traits and character tics that keep them from fulfill that role. However Fate/Extra, for all I have against it, makes Hakuno work by giving them their own internal thoughts outside of the player’s actions that explain their dialogue choices and actions outside of the player’s control. The Doctor doesn’t, so them being a self-insert feels really weak and irritating when the dots stop connecting.

But despite this...

The Doctor Isn’t Their Own Character

Too much of what the Doctor does is passive. For a clear as their personality is, at least to me, they don’t have much agency in the plot. Not enough for me to call them their own character at least. They commander the battlefield, but they don’t have a place on it. They don’t have much reason to interact with characters like Patriot and Talulah unless its on the metaphorical and literal chessboard we’re playing on. 

Every time the Doctor says something that advances the plot in some way I feel like it could be said by another character and work better. Amiya trying talk down Patriot and explain that Frostnova fought bravely did not need the Doctor’s interjections, especially when Patriot shoots them down in the same manner. In chapter 6, being trap with Frostnova would had worked much better with Amiya since that chapter was giving them parallels anyway. The only thing that really works is the Doctor trying to call out Kal’tsit for her treatment of Rosmontis as a soldier despite her age, as that’s only something that someone who didn’t have the full context could do. 

But... Jessica, Frostleaf, Frostnova, Melantha and several other Operators are young teenagers and even children. Specter and Lappland are clearly just as mentally damaged and still going into battles. The Doctor knows the kinds of people that fight for Rhodes Island, so isn’t this just another young fighter like Popukar and Suzuran? Hell, in chapter 6 we canonically had Beagle and Fang in a stage where they had to fight and tank Faust, why is the Doctor so surprised that someone like Rosmontis exist and works for Rhodes Island?

See? 

See how trying to give this character separation from being a self-insert and actively slot them in the active story does more harm than good? 

I think games like Girls Frontline and Honkai Impact 3rd do this better, where the player character is clearly more behind the scenes and is only a passing influence, if any.

But that leads me to my next question, which is...

Who is Amiya?

Amiya falls into the trope of being a cute anime girl with a mysterious past and dangerous powers. More accurately, she has a mysterious past and powers to the player, but everyone in Amiya’s inner circle seems to have a clue about it. I don’t mind this being a mystery, but... when our main character’s plot revolves around things the player doesn’t know, it’s curious at best, and infuriating at worse. 

Folks, I’m not someone that looks to theory-crafting. I’m not someone that reads every scrap of dialogue in this game to find out more about its lore. The lore, to me, is just fun and interesting. I honestly do not have the time and energy to spend on making theories and predictions that could be wrong and a waste of mental energy. However, with all this stuff about the King of Fiends just feels like a waste of time, or at least a last minute addition to something I could had been added properly in Chapter 8.

A lot of it feels like you had to know about the Darknight Memoir side story to really get a feel for what’s going on. The Sarkaz civil war, Theresa, W’s role back when Rhodes Island was Babel, a lot of things that don’t come up in the main storyline. Especially with that bombshell about the Doctor maybe killing Theresa. 

I don’t like it when a story expects me to have read the spinoff to understand the mainline story. This is why I don’t like the Dragon Age series and I’m really getting annoyed with Arknights right now.

This bombshell of the King of Fiends also kind of sours a bit of Amiya’s character as this young child who rose through the ranks of Rhodes Island as a charismatic leader being able to steel optimism with the reality of war to forge ahead as a proper leader through her abilities as both a commander and an empath. Instead it’s beginning to come across that her skills as a leader comes from something more supernatural, or at least something more forced than "small child is a good leader and can lead an army,” which is surprisingly more believable and nuanced given how seriously the series takes Amiya’s character. 

That said, I recognize this criticism is more my wish of what was rather than an issue of what is. I completely understand that essentially wishing for my own fanfic and limited fan theories to come true isn’t a sound criticism, but it's a criticism I have regardless.

But moving on, there’s one more issue that bugs me.

W’s Importance

I’ll keep this brief since I already discussed my bigger issues of the story and this is an admittedly small portion of the story:

W wasn’t utilized much in this story despite being a main feature of it in the promotional material. She has a pretty lengthy intro, disappears from the story for most of it, then reappears at the last bits of chapter 7 to make mean looks at Kal’tsit and the Doctor before being literally shoved offscreen again. I’ve already discussed my issues with the Doctor’s agency so I won’t bother here.

W’s banner should had been during Darknight Memoir, it just makes more sense given she was the feature character of it and her high physical damage would had been a goodsend among all the arts-resistant Sarkaz units of that series of chokepoint-heavy maps, similar to Weedy’s inclusion her is helpful as a lot of these maps could use a good pusher, especially 7-16.

Speaking of, Weedy, the other operator on this limited banner, has no presence in the story at all. Need I remind you in the last limited banner Aak and Hung at least had cameo-esque appearances in the Ancient Forge event. Weedy’s inclusion feels like an afterthought because they didn’t want the limited 6-Star to have a good chance to be pulled for the whales.

Anyway, I believe those are all the big issues I had with this story, so...

In the Future

As I always tend to say, I don’t like the idea of trying to fix something that has already been made and has already passed. It’s too late to change the past, but I see nothing wrong with asking for things to happen in the future as a way of giving feedback. 

To that end, I still have hope that Chapter 8 will have a focus on Amiya and Ch’en tackling Talulah together. From my understanding of some spoilers this is more or less what is going to happen. I also hope that we’ll have a more detailed idea on this whole King of Fiends thing is about. As much as I personally don’t care for it, it’s already be discussed in the story so I at least hope we get the full idea on what’s going on with that plotline. 

I also hope the Doctor either plays less a role or becomes their own character outright away from any player influence. Us speaking through a character that already has a personality feels weird to me and I’d rather not have it at all.

Anyway, that’s it for me folks. Next time... maybe I’ll talk about anime or something, who knows.

[just-things-things]

Star wars ones pls

OK OK, FIRST OFF, THANK YOU FOR THE ASK, I LOVE YOU. SECONDLY, I KNOW ITD BEEN A COUPLE DAYS, BUT I LEGIT JUST MADE AN ENTIRE AU ON THIS, PLOTTED IT, AND WROTE THE FIRST CHAPTER.

And yes, I'm lacking sleep. Anywho, I have this great idea, so thank you. I was debating posting the entire plotline, cause it's a lot and I don't want to spoil anything if I actually ever write the fanfic. So, I decided I could give you the Prolouge to the story and we'll see how it goes? And if you want to hear other Star Wars ideas or aren't satisfied, just lemme know!

(This is unedited btw, so sorry)

_____

Three years prior, Tony wouldn’t have imagined being on any other planet than Tatooine. His father would have been training him to take over his place in their small, weapons manufacturing business. He would have been selling said weapons to the Empire, never expecting to fight his own buyers. But, when his mother and father were murdered and he travelled to save a princess with an old ally, he strangely became the last known Jedi in the galaxy.

 Afterwards, on a quest to train the next generation of Padawans, he encountered the horrific tragedy his future would hold. At twenty-two years old, Tony didn't believe he would have to come up with a way to destroy his mentee's dreams. To take everything the kid cherished and kill it.

He pitied the younger boy, Quentin Beck had been a tremendous Padawan with a caring, huge heart and a motivation to help everyone. Unfortunately, his desire to free others led him to strive for the powers of a god. Beck wanted to be worshipped, for others to see how great he was, how powerful he was.

And it was true, the younger was powerful and a phenomenal fighter. These certain traits had led Tony to think Quentin was the chosen one, someone who would bring balance to the force, who would continue to fight the dark side.

But soon Tony found himself desperately trying to save his friend. To keep him away from the dark side, something he was rather familiar fighting against. Now, he finds himself waiting to confront Beck alongside Pepper and May.

Their plan was to revoke his Jedi training and confiscate his newest lightsaber. That boy loved his saber, had created himself and tracked down his own kyber crystal. Quentin had been so proud of it, especially when he claimed a strange color shade of deep purple.

Instead of training, Beck would continue his role as a pilot until deemed necessary. Tony never would have taken away Quentin’s training permanently. He just wanted Beck to find his place. To discover himself and find his true meaning other than being power-hungry.  He would need to learn the value of fighting for the good of the people, over his own needs.

Waiting in the small hut of their Rebel commander post, he fidgeted with his own lightsaber, the silver coating of the handle feeling unnaturally cold. He had a bad feeling about this. 

Before he had a chance to voice his concerns, Quentin came barreling into the room, face slightly flushed, probably from running the training course, but, nonetheless, his smile was bright and wide - capable of spreading light across the galaxy. Tony wished his goals were the same It would make things so much easier.

The younger glanced at the three adults, his grin dissipating at their grim expressions, "Steve said you requested to see me?" Quentin leaned forward minutely, watching as May turned towards Tony, no one answered, "Master?" 

"Take a seat," Tony started, watching as Quentin slowly slid into the chair on the opposite side of the table, his facial expressions morphing into confusion and concern.

"What's wrong? Is it a mission? I’m ready, I can go, my ship's already prepared. I'll just need to get the droid in and then-" 

Tony raised his hand, silencing the young man’s rambling, "It's alright, no mission," he smiled, "And hopefully not for a while, don't know if these bones can take anymore." Quentin had never been alone on mission. He was ready, Tony knew that, but Beck often doubted his abilities, or sometimes he got too cocky. It worried him. If his Padawan got hurt on his accords, Tony would never forgive himself.

Beck quirked a smile as Pepper continued, "We want to talk to you about something Natasha found, something in the east woods?" 

Tony noticed immediately when Beck's walls went up, noticed his eyes darken and statue stiffen, when Mysterio came out, "What was she doing in the east woods? No one's supposed to be back there." 

Pepper rested a comforting hand on Tony's knee, "We could ask the same thing, Q. What were you doing back there?"

"I wasn't-"

"Kid, it’s fine, we know. You're safe here, just tell us what's going on-" The boy abruptly stood, shoving the chair backwards towards the ground, the loud crash startling the others. 

Tony tightened his hand around his saber, ready to protect his friends at any means necessary. Beck glanced down, eyes widening at his discovery. Master Stark continued, his voice stern, this was in no means anymore a game, "Why are you practicing the dark side of the force?" 

"I'm not!"

"Quentin! Stop!"

"I'm not! I'm helping everybody! You're just," a pause, "You're just mad because I'm helping people and they like me!" Tears brimmed the boy's eyes. 

Tony felt himself shake his head, staring Quentin down, trying to stay calm, "We're going to take your saber for now-"

"No! You can't!" Quentin stole his lightsaber from where it was strapped on his belt, holding it tight enough where his knuckles turned white. 

May stood, "Quentin, stop, we just want to help you, please, let us help you!" She was pleading with him; they were all in an anxious fit now. Over them all, May seemed to have the strongest bond with Beck, sometimes considering him her own.  

"No! You want to take this away from me! I'm helping people! I'm what they need! They need me!" He was desperate for them to understand.

Tony stood, "Beck, we need-" 

“No!” The boy lit his saber, the room took a slight purplish glow and highlighted his Padawan’s eyes. Tony watched him and for a split second, saw fear flood the younger's blue eyes.

“Fear leads to anger.”

Tony force grabbed the lightsaber, a yell of protest coming from his Padawan- No. This wasn’t his Padawan anymore, this was Mysterio, the being who would kill an eighteen-year-old kid, who would kill his friend.

Beck’s eyes turned angry, frantically trying to pull his saber back, but Tony was stronger than him, more collected than him.

“Anger leads to hatred.”

The next moments happened too quickly, Mysterio brought the building down on them and rushed from the room. Tony remembered hitting the ground, grabbing for Pepper to follow him. His head was throbbing as he heard screams and worried yelling.

Other Rebel members tried to pull them from the rubble, prying the wood and fabrics from their bodies.

With others assisting Pepper and May, he hurriedly looked for Quentin, catching him running for the ships. Tony went to chase him, falling as he found his leg stuck between two stones, his vision blockaded by various black dots clouding the edges of his eyes.

Mysterio jumped into the cockpit of an X-Wing and in the small moment he looked back, their eyesight connected. Quentin was scared. Tony just wanted to help him.

“Hatred leads to suffering.”

Tony didn't call for him, didn't try to stop him as the boy started the ship and flew off.  

He was wrong, Quentin was not the chosen one- No, he would be the one to cause the need of a chosen one. Quentin wouldn't bring balance; he would break it. 

Tony had wanted to help him. He failed. He failed as a mentor, as a master. 

He failed,

And now the galaxy was doomed.

_____

Uh, so that's chaotic..... Anyways, maybe there will b more another day, I don't know if you can tell, but I'm super excited by this idea. Maybe instead I'll just post the plot and someone else can write it? What do y'all think?

Thanks for the ask, the box is always open! @unprofessional-zombie

[oskea93]

Why Can’t I (1)

Warning: Language. 

HEY GUYS!  SO- I know I told you guys a few weeks ago that I felt like writing a Duff McKagan fanfic. At the time, I wasn’t sure where I was gonna go with it, often writing ideas down and then realizing they kind of suck. I honestly almost gave up writing this story because it wasn’t going the way I hoped it to go...UNTIL! I don’t know if any of you guys have ever seen the movie Cocktail with Tom Cruise, (it’s amazing, you should def check it out) but I was watching it and the idea came to me. If you have seen Cocktail, then you know it’s kind of cheesy in a way, I promise this will not be a cheesy story! It’s going to have elements of the movie, not focusing on the whole movie itself. I’m sorry if that didn’t make sense. I’m not sure it makes sense myself. I’m actually kind of nervous to be putting this out there because I have found and read some amazing Duff stories and I just hope my story can reach to their level of awesomeness. I am still going to be writing Keep it to Yourself (my baby for right now) and i’m going to be working on this story as well. If you read Thinking of You, my first Nikki story, you may have noticed that I haven’t updated that in a while. That story is actually on hold for right now until I figure out what i’m gonna do to it. I don’t want to give it up but i’m having hard time writing anything for it right now. I’ll stop rambling now and end this long ass post!  IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TAGGED, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! ALSO, IF YOU ACTUALLY ENJOYED THIS STORY, PLEASE LET ME KNOW AS WELL :) 

“Jamaica, here we come!”

I watched as my best friend exclaimed loudly, causing those around us to stop and stare. “Why aren’t you celebrating with me?” Bryn asked, reclaiming her seat next to me. “We’ve been waiting for how long for this trip and you’re sitting here like a bump on a log?” I rolled my eyes. Don’t get me wrong, I was very excited to be going to a tropical paradise. New York was in the middle of a cold snap, snow falling almost every day. I couldn’t wait to dig my feet in the warm sand and have the sun shine all over my body. Even though this was a dream trip, the thought of what I would be coming back to had me on edge. I guess I should explain a few things before we get too in-depth.

First off, I just want to say that I love and respect my parents. I know they want nothing but the best for me BUT their opinions are not always wanted or even needed. My father is the main culprit when it comes to sharing his opinion on how his family should be ran. He pushed my sister and I to be the best of the best, and that also included our taste in men. He wanted Devin and I to marry men that belonged to successful families, themselves having to be successful as well in their own right. He would often take it upon himself to pick out guys he thought suit us best, convincing us to go on dates with them to see where the relationship goes. For Devin, she got a husband out of it. As for me, I got a headache from being so annoyed by these guys. Each guy my father introduced me to was a complete and total dick. Self-centered, womanizing, egotistical dicks! I eventually told my dad that enough was enough. I was losing brain cells and my patience was dwindling with each date I had.

I guess you could say my dad listened… For a total of 3 weeks. Before I knew what was happening, a guy was being pushed into my office with my father trailing close behind. He introduced himself as Luke Reynolds. He was the son of one of my father’s friends, a very prominent businessman in the area. Luke was born with a silver spoon in his mouth but didn’t show it like the others did. He was somewhat down to earth but I could sense a bit of entitlement in his mannerisms. He knew he was good looking, which he was, and knew that he could get any girl he wanted. At the time, I guess you could say I was desperate. I had been on multiple dates that my father set me up on and they were all shit. Even though I told myself that my dating days were over, I decided to give this guy one last chance. If this didn’t work out then I was going to drop everything and join the convent. To my surprise, the date went amazing. We had so much in common and I slowly started falling for the guy. We dated for a little over a year before he popped the question. At the time, I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. He was my person. He was the type of guy my parents approved of. He was an all-out catch. Without thinking, I told him yes and the wedding planning began.

As the wedding got closer and closer, my feelings for Luke started to change. I went from wanting to be around him all the time to not even caring if I saw him for a couple of days. Just the things he said would annoy me. Finally, Bryn took notice and suggested a girls trip to get away from the craziness of wedding planning and my sudden annoyance to my future husband. She had worked it out where we would spend a week or two on a tropical island, away from Luke, away from my parents, and away from anything that had to do with the wedding. At first, I tried to tell her that it wasn’t a good idea. I didn’t feel like flying or even leaving my apartment building at the time. I was just so burnt out, deciding that I didn’t want to have any more human interaction. Of course, Brynn couldn’t take no for an answer and I guess you could say the rest is history.

“You know I’m excited.” I replied, a reassuring smile adorned my face. She looked at me for a second, probably knowing that I was lying to her. She didn’t say anything else and neither did I.

“Ladies and gentleman, I am happy to announce that flight 4673 to Montego Bay, Jamaica is now boarding at Gate 4. Please have boarding passes ready and available.” …
_________________________________________________________________ “Oh my gosh!” 


Bryn squealed as she took in the scenery of the island. “I feel like I’ve died and gone to Heaven.” I placed my things down on the bed, my body falling next to my suitcase. 

“We almost did.” I muttered. The flight from Miami to Jamaica was horrendous. The turbulence was awful and it didn’t help matters that Bryn was freaking out the whole time. I’m pretty sure my arm is bruised from how hard she was holding onto it. She was even making the people around us uncomfortable.

“Don’t be such a negative nelly, Lauren!” She exclaimed, throwing herself next to me. We laid in silence for a few seconds. “You’re gonna go out and have fun, right?” I turned my head, my eyes connecting with hers. I nodded my head. “Promise me.” Her voice decreasing an octave. “You need to have fun or else I’m gonna be very mad.” I couldn’t help but start laughing at her seriousness.

I took her hand in mine, “I promise that I will go out there and have the time of my life.” I watched as her eyes studied me. “You pinky swear?” She asked, sticking out her right pinky. I immediately wrapped my pinky finger around hers. “I pinky swear.” Bryn Coleman was the person I trusted most in life. I trusted her more than my parents and sister combined. Bryn was always there when I needed her, even if it was 3am and I needed advice on what shampoo to use. Yeah, there were times when I wanted to choke her to death, but she was my person. She was my best friend. She was my pinky swear partner.

“What do you say we go out to one of those clubs tonight?” She removed herself from the bed. “I heard from this girl I work with that they get pretty wild.”

“Sure.” I replied, my gaze going back to the ceiling above me. I wasn’t really into the whole night club scene but I wasn’t gonna let Bryn go by herself, especially in a place like Jamaica! Maybe I needed to take Bryn’s advice and stop being a negative nelly. This vacation was planned on my behalf. I needed to get the stick out of my ass and have some fun. Who knows, this could be the last time I have an adventure like this…

“Come dance with me!”

Bryn had her hands reached out to me, an annoyed look on her face. As soon as we walked through the club doors, Bryn made her way onto the dance floor and started dancing with those around her. I was never big on dancing so I decided to take a seat at the bar and order myself a drink. I made sure to keep my eyes on her while I sipped on my drink. “Lauren!” She yelled my name, causing those around me to stop and look. I could feel my face get red with embarrassment, sending daggers in Bryn’s direction.

I took one last drink before getting up and following a now ecstatic Bryn to the dance floor. The place was packed with people, some with the spouses and others dancing with strangers. The reggae music filled the hot, stuffy air. I held onto Bryn’s hand as she led us to the front of the stage. Once up front, Bryn’s hips started swaying to the beat of the music. I soon followed suit, slowly getting into the club’s vibe. We must have danced for almost an hour before Bryn announced she had to use the restroom. I took this as my opportunity to sit down and get a drink as I waited. I made my way back to the bar, ordering myself another beer. Before I could hand the bartender, he shook his head, refusing to take the money. “Already paid for.” He stated, pointing toward the end of the bar. I looked to where his finger was pointing, seeing three guys leaning against the bar, drinking their own drinks. Two were blonde, the other had a head full of chocolate curls.

I watched as they looked out at the crowd, talking and laughing at times. The one guy must have felt my stare as his head turned and his eyes connected with mine. I quickly looked away, acting like I was looking in the other direction. I could feel my face heat up in embarrassment as I kicked myself for staring too long, getting caught right in the act.

“How’s your beer?” I jumped in surprise as a man’s voice sounded in my ear. I quickly turned around, seeing the guy who had caught me staring. “Woah-” He started to laugh. “I didn’t mean to scare you; Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” I muttered out, taking a drink of the beer. I couldn’t help but check the guy out. First off, he was incredibly tall! He was almost as tall as Luke, maybe an inch or two shorter. His bleach blond hair resting nicely on his tan, tattooed shoulders. His all black ensemble made him stick out like a sore thumb among the other patrons. “You wanna another drink?” He took the empty seat next to me. I watched as he flagged down the bartender, signaling to order two more beers.

“You bought the beer?” I questioned. “How’d you know I even liked beer?” I turned my body to face his, my knee accidentally brushing against his. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes, placing one in his mouth. He motioned for me to take one. I put my hand up, declining the offer. “I saw you drinking one earlier. Figured you needed another one after dancing the night away.” He said nonchalantly.

“Are you stalking me?” I asked. His head turning, our eyes connecting once again. His green eyes held a hint of mischief and wonder. I couldn’t help but start smirking. “Who are you?” He pulled his cigarette out of his mouth, blowing out the smoke he’d been harboring.

“Duff, Duff McKagan.” He placed his hand out for me to shake. I could feel my smirk growing larger. “What’s yours?” He questioned, his lips forming into a smirk. I debated on telling him my real name. I had no idea who this guy was. I was far away from home. What if I told him and he turns out to be a stalking murderer? “Molly.” I lied. “Molly Jones.” I shook his hand. His hand felt rough and callused. The smirk stayed on his face as he shook my hand. I don’t know if he could tell I was lying of not but he was going with it for now. “So, Molly-”He began. “What brings you to Jamaica?”

Before I could answer the question, Bryn came busting through the crowd. “Lauren!” She giggled once she reached me. “Lauren, I thought you left me or something.” She wined, grabbing onto my neck and holding me. I looked over a Duff, giving him an apologetic smile. “The bathroom here is so groady. There were people doing lines of coke off the nasty sink, I thought I was back in Brooklyn or something.” The smile that was on Duff’s face only grew as he nursed his drink and smoked his cigarette. Bryn soon let go of my neck, her head turning to face where Duff was sitting.

“You’re in my seat”! She yelled toward him. “That’s my seat, mister!” Duff turned to look at her. “Bryn, chill out.” I muttered. I was a bit embarrassed by the way she was acting. She went to the bathroom completely fine and now she was making a show of things. “He’s in my seat, Lauren.” She cried out. “Get him out of my seat.” She slumped her body against mine, almost knocking me off the bar stool. It was as if she went from being a 23-year-old woman to a three-year-old child.

“I can leave if that’s what she wants.” Duff spoke up. I quickly shook my head no, telling him to stay put. “We’re actually gonna leave.” I stumbled out of the chair, keeping a strong hold on my now high friend. “You need some help?” He quickly stood up, taking Bryn’s elbow in his grasp.

“Get your hands off me, guy!” Bryn exclaimed. She jerked her elbow out of Duff’s hand, turning to me and wrapping her arms back around my neck. “I’m sorry.” I mouthed to him. He gave me a smile and nodded. “Thanks again for the beer.”

“Sure thing.” I was starting to feel bad for lying to him. “Maybe I’ll see you around or something.”

I nodded my head the best I could, “Maybe you will.” I could feel Bryn’s grip on my neck grow tighter. “Let me get her back to the hotel before she makes a bigger ass of herself.” Duff and I said our goodbyes before I dragged Bryn out of the club.

Once outside, I set Bryn down on the bench and hailed for a taxi. “He was kind of cute.” Bryn muttered. I looked over at her, confusion written on my face. “The guy in there, the blonde guy.” She was talking about Duff. “You were totally into him.”

“Was not.” I quickly defended. “I was just talking to him.”

Bryn let out a laugh. “Lauren, you are a terrible liar.”  

I rolled my eyes, turning back to the road to see where the damn taxi cab was. I don’t know what Bryn was talking about. There was no way I was into Duff. I didn’t even know the guy! He was just a guy that bought me a drink at the bar. That’s it and that’s all it will ever be...

[mittensmorgul]

What do you think about Samwena now? Do you think they can still be endgame?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The TNT loop has brought me up through 12.21 today, and it’s wild what new canon can do to recontextualize the past.

I’m putting this under a cut, so that saileen shippers won’t have to subject themselves to my rambling about Eileen and Sam in a way I know they’ll dislike... but I’m tired of feeling like I can’t talk about canon how I see it on my own blog.

Back when these episodes originally aired, with the week to week meta cycle in between, a lot of context was left up to us and never explicitly clarified in canon. Many of us were just thrilled at the notion that Sam had made one (1) friend that he seemed as close with as Dean did, if not closer. We were all ready to read way more into their interactions than was actually there, because Sam just gets so few of these sorts of personal relationships, at all, with anyone.

Things have been provided with clarification now in s15-- like the previous nature of Sam’s relationship with Eileen, and Sam’s repeated insistence to Dean’s teasing that they’re “not like that.” Which seems to be urging me to go back and reexamine everything from the past connected to her without the erroneous assumption that they already had a romantic relationship going offscreen. And let me tell you, that puts an entirely different spin on Eileen’s prior purpose in the narrative. As a parallel for Mary. Which is why I suppose I’ve been finding so many weird Mary parallels for her since her resurrection (starting with the fact that the spell that brought her back was designed to resurrect Mary instead and going right on through all the BMoL Free Will Erasure brainwashing plot literally in the episode where Eileen was murdered by Hellhound).

Lady Bevell: Well, not about this illusion of you that you hold on to. The perfect life. Loving husband and kids. But it never really was perfect, was it? All those secrets you kept from your beloved John – that you were a hunter. That you invited Azazel to visit when he spared John's life.Mary: How do you-Lady Bevell: I have sources, Mary. Everywhere. After you died, your beloved John was a man slowly going mad, searching for revenge. What? Your boys didn't tell you? The drunken rages? The weeks of abandonment? Child abuse, really. It's no wonder they're... damaged. So... enough with the fairy tale. We are returning you to a more pure version of yourself – Mary Campbell, natural born killer.

The “illusion” of the perfect life, the illusion of Free Will, in essence (especially now that we know Chuck was also behind the whole BMoL narrative). Not to mention that in this episode, Toni will later heavily imply that Mary was in fact the one who killed Eileen (even if it wasn’t true... Sam and Dean STILL don’t know who actually killed Eileen). I mean, the fact they found Mary in the process of attempting to murder Jody Mills probably sealed the belief that at the very least, it COULD’VE been Mary who’d done the deed. Even Mary wouldn’t know for sure if she had, because brainwashed:

SAM: Why you spying on us? Oh, and what do you know about Eileen Leahy?TONI: Who?DEAN: Did you – did – did your people, did they kill her?TONI: Probably. Rule of thumb – if you think we killed someone, then we probably did. Speaking of, you do realize that by attacking me, you invite the retribution of the entire British Men of Letters? Investigation, no trial. Just punishment and ruin. Possibly at the hands of Mary Winchester.DEAN: The hell is that supposed to mean?TONI: Your mother – she's our permanent guest.SAM: She's your prisoner? Why?TONI: Prisoner? Who said anything about prisoner? No, Mary's joined the team. Even has her own super secret decoder ring.SAM: You're lying.TONI: You're right. There is no ring. Oh, boys and their mums. See, you see her as Mummy. We see her as one of our best killers.

Sam’s main drive during s12 was doing whatever he could to desperately create any sort of relationship with Mary that he could (even willingly working with people who’d TORTURED him), and this is what haunted him into s13, as well, after destroying the BMoL to save Mary, and then almost immediately losing her again to the AU.

Do I think that Sam is considering the possibility of a real relationship with Eileen? Probably, yeah, after Dean’s prodding, especially. But Dean was fundamentally misunderstanding the nature of Sam’s “agreement” with Eileen there. It wasn’t about a romantic arrangement.

Because they aren’t like that.

Eileen propositioned Sam in 15.07 (in the name of doing something “fun”), yes, but I still can’t see Sam’s reaction there as anything but surprise and consternation. He seems almost relieved that Cas showed up when he did to interrupt what would otherwise have been an uncomfortable and probably embarrassing talk.

When Dean asked about Eileen in 15.08, it felt to me like Sam’s comment about them having an agreement was directly about the opening scene... where Sam had secretly followed her out on a hunt, and then nearly getting himself killed both by Eileen AND the vampire, all because he didn’t trust her to handle it or ask for help if she needed it.

Their agreement gets further contextualization via Sue’s comment to Eileen, taunting her about having to “get permission” to come out and help her on a hunt. Because that’s exactly what she had to do. That was the nature of her agreement with Sam-- that she wouldn’t just leave without at least leaving a note (Sam’s exact words to her in that opening scene... “You could’ve left a note.”)

DEAN: Yeah. Eileen did good, right? Getting us back from hell. She doing okay?SAM: Yeah. I guess.DEAN: You guess?SAM: If she needs something from me, she'll tell me. We have an agreement.

It felt like Sam was telling Dean that he didn’t know how Eileen was, because part of their agreement was that Sam... not pester her over this sort of thing. Sam seemed... disappointed over the whole situation. Dean immediately turned this into a relationship thing, though, leaving Sam slightly confused, but probably considering the option, at least.

DEAN: You have an agreement? That's adorable. Look, man, I didn't want to say anything, okay, 'cause I was kind of in... in a bad place, and, uh, yeah, I didn't want to jinx it or whatever, but, you know, I tried the family thing, right?SAM: Yeah, me too. And that's not for us.DEAN: No, not really. But I'm just saying if it was to work, Eileen, you know, she gets it. She gets us. She gets the life. She's hot.SAM: Dean. I mean, I'm not even...DEAN: Look, all I'm saying is you... you could do worse, okay? And she could certainly do better. Like, so much better. I'm happy for you, Sammy.

If only Dean hadn’t framed it as essentially “settling” for someone just because they conveniently ticked off the most basic “someone in the life” box.

And if only this hadn’t come two scenes after Sam found Rowena, dead, in Hell. And literally flinching at the change that he saw in her. Almost as if Dean was trying to give Sam the “it’s not so bad. You couldn’t save Rowena, but at least you have a backup romantic interest, since you can’t resurrect Rowena and make everything okay with her, because you already used Rowena’s own spell to resurrect Eileen...” It felt like a weirdly hearty consolation speech in that context.

And if this hadn’t felt like more of a comment on DEAN’S recent mental turnaround after his experiences in 15.07, and his tentative hope that things between him and Cas aren’t completely kaput, that Cas hadn’t completely written him off, after Rowena’s little Marriage Counselling session with them (again, two scenes earlier).

Now is this to say that Sam’s emotional investment in a relationship with Eileen can’t change going forward? Absolutely not! He might really, truly invest himself in a relationship with her!

I’m extremely interested to see what happens in 15.09, because I think that episode will hopefully give us so many of the answers we’ve been waiting for. Not necessarily about endgame love interests, but about Chuck’s involvement in the first half of the season’s unfolding drama. And I think Rowena will have a continuing part to play after that point.

Does that mean I think Sam’s emotional investment in a potential relationship with Rowena can’t be rekindled? We’ll have to wait and see, but as it stood after 15.08, Sam, at least, seemed to be shaken by the change that had come over her after her sacrifice.

SAM: Rowena, I...ROWENA: Samuel, please. You killing me was one of the best things that ever happened. Yes, there are things I miss about being alive. Flesh-on-flesh sex. Amazon doesn't deliver here... yet. But, lads, I'm queen. My subjects revere me. Well, fear me, which is better. I should have died a long time ago. Samuel, be a dear.SAM: Yeah.

This has to be like a knife to him, you know? He’d been so invested in her redemption, as the Fated Agent of her final demise. And for Sam, who knows what she feared and who she loved (but Sam doesn’t know he’s on that list, she told him flat out he wasn’t right before she told him to kill her), she represents his current biggest failure, you know? He capitulated to Destiny, because he had no other choice. And that is still the worst thing anyone on the show can possibly say.

THIS was the final straw that drove Dean to anger with Cas, too. Rowena’s death was the direct result of Cas’s choice to kill Belphegor rather than let him complete his spell. It’s all interconnected, and it’s all painful, and it’s all a direct result of Chuck’s breaking the story the way he did in 14.20.

So make of this what you will, but I’m tired of not talking about these far bigger themes to avoid upsetting shippers who want saileen to be endgame. We’re not there yet, and until we are, I want to talk about all of this in a nonjudgmental way, because I think it’s all interesting, not because I have some shipping agenda.

I know I have more to say about all of this, but this is a good start, at least.

[early-sxnsets]

We Are Far Too Young and Clever

Archive Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20327977/chapters/48197671

Chapter 1/6 of We Are Far Too Young And Clever

Word Count: 3,068

Summary: Youtube's a buzzing, content-creating platform, where people from all walks of life can create and share. Simon Snow and Baz Pitch are on a rise at two very different angle, but by the coincidence of shared people, they clash and come together at all the right (and wrong) times.

~~~~~~~~~~

SIMON

I don’t really remember how it started.

Well, that’s a lie. I remember starting it. I remember setting up my mobile, using a mirror to make sure it was at the right angle (using random little things like Penny’s tiny bottles of face cleansers and such to keep it propped, despite them continuously slipping). I remember it being half past 3 in the morning on a Thursday right before a final. I wasn’t studying. I can’t study--I can’t make myself study, I should say. Never could. And, I remember laying out craft scissors, glitter glue tubes, googly eyes, and finding old class notes to go to town on.

I remember the build up.

I remember the upload, and I remember thinking nothing of it.

But I don’t remember the rise.

More to this, I don’t really know why anyone really watches my videos. I think it’s sort of dumb to watch a man now climbing further into his mid-to-late twenties sitting on his living room floor, working in a ranging the state of his soberness from completey dry to beyond wrecked, and doing shitty primary school crafts.

But then again, I’m the man making them, so I guess I’m not particularly the one to judge on this front.

Part of me still really doesn’t connect the popularity with myself--like it’s been Penny’s doing. Which, she says, might be partially true. She already had a decent enough following, but I’m on a completely different genre. She does educative videos, and she stays popular because they’re on current events topics (defines hot topics, explains what a certain celebrity is in trouble for, yada yada). I call her the cliffnotes of the ever-rolling social media 15 minutes of fame. She asks me if I’ve ever needed to read a book with cliffnotes, and I didn’t have much defense besides “You know, I was an English minor.” (“For the first year, yeah.” “Still, had a year of it.”)

But for me? I don’t do anything new or appealing.

I think I might be a handsome face (which, in all honesty, would be a nice brag, if I could actually maintain a relationship). Or maybe it’s because I can get a bit funny, especially when I’m plastered. And there’s never really any instructions when I do these things. I have a Pinterest board, a google search option, and a flow of craft store gift cards at my disposal to make shit work.

Or, maybe, I’m just entertaining.

I’m not really confident on that front, but I’ll take what I can get.

I don’t mind it much. People seem to like the videos, and I never mind making them. Brilliant distraction, and surprisingly decent income (especially since crafts require products, so sponsors are easy to get for videos, and I never feel really guilty because I’d have to get shit to use anyway).

Penny gets on my arse about my sleep schedule, though.

“Why can’t you do special editions of Simon’s Arts ‘N Crafts in the morning?” She asks, or more complains, hovering over the kitchen bar with a mug between her hands and her flannel pyjama bottoms on. It’s nearing 1 in the morning now, and I’m just cracking open my second beer. (Don’t actually like them, but they’re tolerable.)

“Aesthetic, Penn.” I cringe after a thick gulp, squeezing my eyes tight. Shit tastes like a gym sock. “Premise of it all to put up a video that looks like a bloke who hasn’t properly slept in 10 years on his floor trying to build a shitty flower crown.”

She’s been a bit fed up with it for a little while, and I can see her point. Insomniatic tendencies aren’t something you particularly want to profit off of, but it pays the bills (and gives me something better to do than stare at my ceiling and try to count sheep into the thousands).

I hear her huff, my back turning to grab my mobile off the counter as I try to chug back a few more gulps.

Thumbing through notifs, I see a post alert for Baz Pitch. Something on Twitter--commenting on the flawed mentality of what socialistic systems are seen as vs what they are, or some other poshly worded bullshit about something that only really matters if you’re taking a secondary school course on politics.

Or if you’re Penny, I guess.

“You’re looking at Baz’s shit again,” she mumbles over her mug, sipping slowly as I glare back.

“What?”

“You get this look on your face--that one where your brows come together and makes you look constipated.”

“Yes, and? What about it?”

She smirks. “Well, you only ever get that when you’re looking at something Baz posted.

I pull my brows together when I look away, just for emphasis, and slip my mobile into my pocket. “Not only,” I counter, going for another pointed sip and holding back a cringe as I point at her, going on. “And it’s only because he’s full of himself. I don’t need, nor do I want to hear his halfhearted ramblings on something that he won’t have any affect on.”

“Then why do you have him on post-notifs?”

I try to look offended, but I just stare, mouth hanging open. “Maybe I like to keep a keen eye on him.”

She hums, unsatisfied.

“Excuse me for wanting to keep track of the man I’ve got an ongoing tiff with.”

“Ongoing tiff? Is that what you’re calling it now?”

I shrug, ignoring that with another shitty gulp.

“Look, Simon, just talk to the bloke. He’s a smart guy, if you give him a second of your time and attention beyond a twitter feud over some dumb shite like his family upbringing.”

“He’s rich, Penn! Guy’s a hypocrite.”

“Maybe,” she gives me a halfhearted shrug, leaning more over the counter. “You’re just mad that he’s got more following on his personal Twitter than you do on your proper Instagram.”

“Of course not.” She’s right, but I won’t dare admit it.

I’ll never admit to being jealous of Basilton fucking Pitch--some bloody political page gone pretty boy vlogging. His main work is only relevant because he talks about shit that’s within the dizzying political-sphere, nothing of which is something I really like to think about (I vote for whoever Penny describes as the best, then hope some other prick doesn’t throw us deeper into the cesspool that is this Brexit nightmare).

But he has his vlogging channel. A popular one, at that. Talks about what he’s reading, where he’s traveling. Skincare routine. Mindless bullshit, that I’ve forced myself to sit through just so I have a proper excuse to go off complaining about him.

Never seen the bloke break a proper smile, though. Not even in fan pictures. He smirks, and he’s got a barking, bitter laugh, but I’ve never heard anything that relates “Joyous” and “Basilton” in a similar sentence.

It’s a wonder he and Penn interact amicably.

She scoffs at me, sipping her tea slowly as my shoulders slump, beer can held tight enough in my hand that it’s denting in at my fingers. I should probably let go of it.

“Are you gonna help me set up?” I ask, deflating from the conversation and trying to distract with a new one.

“If you need help.”

“Need? No. Want? Yeah.”

She rolls her eyes, settling the mug down onto our countertop anyway before turning to start dragging the lights out of the side closet while I polish off my drink and head to grab my camera and tripod.

I’ve gotten better at this over the years. Swapped majors from social work to media studies, then minored in advertising, once the channel had hit 1k subscribers. Hadn’t quit my dayjob at the cafe until I hit 100k, but the steady rise since hasn’t been bad to us. Penny’s got a decent income, too, and she still decides to work in the school’s library as she’s working on her PhD in Sociology.

The flat’s a better one than the one we’d started in. We’ve even got a guest bedroom (screams disposable income). And, well, nicer equipment. A real sense of seriousness and maturity while we work.

Well, mostly.

I’m speaking as the grown man with a metal cabinet full of crafts supplies.

Business man with craft supplies.

Makes me sound more professional than “Newly 27 year old Youtuber who does nothing of serious impact, other than hoping to make others smile while throwing together terribly made, barely functioning crafts.”

I make my way back into the living room after setting up the camera and wandering back off, arms full of supplies as Penny starts setting up cameras, glancing over her shoulder. “What’d you choose tonight?”

I look down, then plop myself onto the floor and spread out my shit. “Uhh,” I say, shifting through. “I was thinking a beer can ghost.”

“Beer can ghost?”

I nod, holding up the gauze and glue. “As a Happy Halloween episode.”

“It’s not even October yet, Si.”

I shrug. “September’s close enough.” I grin, going off to grab my empty beer can and sprawling back out onto the floor. “Want to join in?”

“I think I’ll take a rain check for this episode, thank you.” She smiles teasingly, brushing past and messing my hair a bit as I’m settling myself onto the hardwood floor. I don’t take it harshly; I never take her harshly. I don’t think I’ve got the room to take it harshly, given I don’t seriously have anyone else in my life besides her (at least on a consistent basis).

“Suit yourself!” I call back, watching her disappear into her bedroom while shutting the door behind herself.

Before going at it, I take and post a quick Instagram picture at the layout in front of me, adding Halloween-themed emojis (so everyone knows I’m serious about wanting to get festive) as the caption.

I sigh and clear up my space, glancing around to make sure the area looks clean-enough, then get up to press start. It takes a second to make my way back and get myself properly situated on the floor, exhaling quietly and collecting my thoughts before shooting my head up and grinning at the camera angled a few feet away and slightly above eyeline with me.

“Hey everyone! Welcome back to Simon’s Arts ‘N Crafts!”

BAZ

I don’t understand the hype of Simon Snow.

I never truly have. He feels like he’s the sort of mindless bloke to pull out a guitar at uni and unironically start playing Wonderwall.

Allow me to rephrase; I don’t understand the hype of Simon Snow’s channel.

Snow himself, on the other hand, is a different story.

Cheerful smile, rosey cheeks. Curls that stick out at all angles (you’d think he’d try to style them properly, given he’s got the time and money now, but he doesn’t; he looks as disheveled as the day his channel began). Snow’s an utter mess just trying to occupy himself while avoiding other aspects of life, and somehow, for reasons I can’t chalk up to anything but his glittering disposition, he’s popular.

Not too popular, no. A couple million popular. Sponsored by major chains popular, due to the spike in young hobbyists trying to “Unleash their inner child” following his lead. But, of course, he donates huge portions to schools, giving them arts supplies and, for some saintly reason, gives to orphanages too.

I wonder at times if there’s anything deeper than just a handsome public face and overly generous donor. And, usually, I try to doubt there is, but I can’t quite ignore the occasional sign that Simon Snow may be a saint, and I fucking hate him for it.

I hate him for a number of reasons, starting with “He hates me”, and ending with “He’s gorgeous, and he hates me”.

I scroll down my Instagram feed, then refresh, immediately getting his post as a priority (I feel as though I’d be damned if anyone knew how often I go to simply look at him, or try to snoop through his older pictures to put the pieces together). It’s not much; his lap, which is a pair of grey joggers (Chris, I bet he looks fit in them), mismatched athletic socks, and a pile of half pulled-apart gauze, supplies for paper mache, an emptied beer can, and a sponge brush laying on a disposable plastic tarp. It’s simply captioned with a set of emojis that are definitely a few weeks too early.

baz.pitch Can’t count a calendar, Snow? Not surprised.

I stare at the comment for a brief moment, jaw clenching and swallowing back the strange, twinge that comes with our either interaction as quickly as it appears before trying to scroll and avoid any further thoughts on the matter.

It isn’t much longer before a notification drops down, hanging over the top of my screen.

(baz.pitch) buncespeaking: Are you still awake, or sleep-commenting?

I snort and tap onto it, letting the direct messaging screen load up.

baz.pitch: I am awake

baz.pitch: Is there something you want, Bunce?

Penelope Bunce and I interact far more than I’d originally thought we would. At first, when she first reached out, I’d assumed we’d quarrel, given her general harshness brought through her Twitter account, but I soon learned that she and I have a good bit in common. Personal views align, and she’s got a devilishly sharp sense of humour on her (not that I’d ever tell her, of course). Never thought I’d consider her not only an ally, but a friend in this harsh digital age, but I’ve found solace in her conversations.

That, and she teases Snow for me more than I could ever repay her for.

When I say tease, it isn’t quite the taunting I find myself regularly drawn into, but rather the simple name drop can be enough to get him to squirm in place (I know; I’ve seen it through live streams). I’ve never found it in myself to say any of my opinions on Snow to her, but given her intellect, I’d assumed she knows far more about my views of him than what Snow knows himself.

Which, at times, scares me. Nobody should know any vulnerability about me, unless I know equally as much incriminating information on them.

But so far, I haven’t had much a reason to worry.

(baz.pitch) buncespeaking: Do you know when you’ll find yourself in London again?

Interesting question.

Intentionally? Who the fuck knows.

As of recent, my life has consisted of no proper flat (which has begrudgingly left me living in my family’s manor, avoiding a permanent residence) while I hop about the island, then once a month, I spend a week in some various part of Europe. I just see it as trying to squeeze the most out of my life as a pitiful bachelor, but some others (Snow) consider this as me being a privileged arsehole and not wanting to commit to a proper life. (For the record, I regularly donate to LGBTQ+ nonprofits, but you don’t see me flaunting it in my personal work.)

Whatever. He probably hasn’t gotten snogged in the back of a Porsche in Venice during late spring.

Although, admittedly, that wasn’t very fulfilling.

Those trips never quite are.

And, sadly, neither are the men. All looking somewhat of a similar face; square jawed, wide-nosed. Long necks, wide shoulders, and curly hair that I love to tug and hold back.

But none of them are ever named Simon, and none of them hit quite the spot that this damned yearning has held.

Which is, I suppose, why I’m rarely ever in London. I’m not sure what I’d do with myself in London, unless I’m there with a purpose. I feel like I might go off the rails and try to actually find Snow without the guidance of some other party. I’d be a walking disaster.

baz.pitch: Depends on why you’re asking

(baz.pitch) buncespeaking: Well, a couple of reasons.

(baz.pitch) buncespeaking: Which all ultimately have the same suggested outcome of us collaborating on a video, and I’m not particularly set on getting myself out to Hampshire to sit in your frankly terrifying mansion.

(baz.pitch) buncespeaking: Plus, you can put me out of my misery and finally speak to Simon in person, for once. He’s driving me mad, and at this point, I’d pay for you to just put him to silence in person, for once.

As tempting as it seems, a small part of me worries that Bunce is believing that I’d sock Snow instead of snog him (maybe both are possible, but assaulting someone on their own property is risky at best).

I stare at my screen for a good, long pause, worrying at my lip as her typing pop-up ceases. It’s hard to not leap at opportunities I really wish to take--to just hold my dignity to somewhat of a respectable point.

But Snow crashes any barriers of my real rigidity.

He has for well over a few years now--ever since we were introduced digitally.

I’ve found myself watching his videos, over and over again, and trying to imagine how we’d play about. I like to wonder whatever happened to that pretty girlfriend of his (I’m aware they broke up, but he’s certainly too private to share the rest).

It’s been years since I first heard about Snow, and since then, I can’t quite get him off my mind.

It’s quite dizzying, trying to get Snow off my thoughts. I try to occupy--I try to fulfill. I try to find my way through life without some dull half-rivalry, full-teasing he and I share through out linked lives, but it’s like a drug. Draws me in, making me wish I had more of a good thing while trying to ignore that the good thing isn’t quite good for me, but rather simply a shocking want, prickling under my skin and bringing me back for more.

In all the things I do to occupy myself--to occupy the life I’ve been trying to lead (without success)--Snow’s been my favorite distraction. And I might just have to break through this and meet him, for once.

baz.pitch: Give me a time and a place and I’ll fit you into my schedule

[brycecortez]

After Prison Break | Rhodez

when: june 29th, 2020

where: the red door, the beach house

trigger warnings: mentions of prison, mentions of the foster care system, mentions of prostitution

nb: after amber-jade came back from visiting her father in prison, she immediately finds her way to the bar. and as if it was fate, bryce finds her and saves her from what could’ve very much lead to a dangerous and bad situation. bryce makes sure she gets home safely and stays the night with her, especially after she confides in him about what really happened to her in new york after ollie left the group home.

@amberjade-rhodes

Amber had gotten back from Connecticut a few hours ago and after assuring Ollie that she would be fine, she headed straight to The Red Door to drink until she forgot about her prison visit. By the time she had downed her fifth or sixth drink, the guy sitting next to her had started to get a little too friendly but she certainly didn’t have her wits about her; at least not to her usual standards. As he rested his hand on her thigh, she half heartedly tried to push him away but the alcohol coursing through her system and her complete exhaustion from the last couple of days made the gesture rather ineffective. Dimly, she was aware that she had gotten herself into a bad situation but with her brain shutting down, she couldn’t exactly plan for her usual escape route.

Bryce had been out drinking with some of the guys from the football field, going to a different bar that wasn't Mars Bar, one that was a bit more classier than the typical college bar. He had been a few drinks in when he recognized a familiar redhead, one he could recognize from anywhere - right across the bar. It was evident that the girl was drunk, and Bryce's stomach immediately turned as he spotted another male trying to take advantage. Excusing himself for the rest of the night before walking over to the girl. "Amber-Jade?" he asked, basically announcing himself as he stepped up to the redhead. "You can go now, I got it from here. I'll make sure she gets home safe." he spoke to the other male, his eyes growing dark with anger as his voice made it very evident he knew the others intentions were. "Hey, beautiful girl. Let's get you home, yeah?" he offered out his hand for the other to take, giving her a small smile."

Amber smiled widely when Bryce approached her, not having realized that he was also in the bar tonight and happy to see him. "Bryce! It's so good to see you, I think this guy is trying to get me to take him home, which is ridiculous because I can't even remember where I live right now", Amber laughed, rolling her eyes at the strange man sitting beside her; as if he was just a foolish idiot as opposed to someone that was trying to take advantage of her current state. "You remember where I live? What a hero! Just don't tell Ollie that I was here, okay? We just got back from seeing my father and I promised him that I was fine so he's going to flip if he realizes that I dropped my bags at home and then came to the nearest bar", she rambled as she took Bryce's hand.

Bryce's eyes darted back and forth between Amber and the other male. His gaze was cold, but not towards her. He didn't even want to begin to think about what could've happened to her if he hadn't been there; the thought sickened him, and for some reason he felt the need to go into protective mode. He broke his gaze when he felt the redhead taking his hand, his eyes officially looking down at the female. "I don't think I could possibly keep any more lies from Ollie. I'm already in deep shit with him and Lola as it is." he said with a soft chuckle. With his hand in hers, he stood her up, dropping her hand just so he could use both of his to hold onto her in case if he needed to steady her. "Let's get you home, babe. There's too many people here anyways."

After Bryce’s arrival and insistence that he would be the one taking her home, the man that had been sitting next to her quickly scarpered; leaving her alone with Bryce. “She’s not mad at you, you know that right? Lola, I mean. She didn’t give me all the details because that’s between the two of you but she appreciated the closure and just misses her best friend”, she said honestly, the alcohol loosening her tongue enough to try and give Bryce some sort of peace of mind. “Can you please at least downplay it? He’ll feel so guilty for just leaving me at the beach house, even though I promised I was fine, and I don’t want him to feel guilty. He’s one of the best people I know”, she rambled. She pouted slightly when he took his hand back but it was probably for the best as it helped stabilise her when she wobbled on her feet. “You’re a regular knight in shining whatever; let’s go home, you valiant hero”.

Bryce had been lost in his own thoughts for a brief moment. He just didn't understand how he could grown to adore someone this quickly. Hearing her speak about Lola immediately snapped him out of his thoughts. "W-what?" he said in a stutter, reorienting himself for a quick moment before responding once more. "Lola's never mad at me, at least not as much as she has the right to be. I know that we're okay, it's Ollie that I'm worried about." he simply stated, shrugging it off right then and there. He didn't really want to talk about it, especially when the other had been drunk off her ass. "Yeah, he's pretty great. Could've came out a lot worse, that's for damn sure." he simply stated, giving the redhead a small smile. It was obvious that she was close to the other male, and that she obviously adored the hell out of him. "I'm far from being a knight in shining...whatever." he laughed. "Are you going to be okay to walk, or should I carry you to the car?"

Amber worried that she had misspoken based on his stuttering response but he gathered himself just a second later. "She's a pretty forgiving person, which is surprising after everything that she's been through. I'm certainly not that forgiving", Amber admitted. "Have you tried talking to Ollie? He may need a little time but I've heard the way he talks about you, you're someone important to him", she added. "We don't need to talk about this, though. I just wanted to make sure that you weren't worried u-unnecessarily", she explained, stumbling slightly over the big word. "We were in care together, he got a second chance and I didn't. The couple of years after he moved away and I stayed in that group home really fucked me up, more than I was already fucked up. I'm glad that he got that chance but sometimes I wonder why I wasn't as lucky". She was truly lacking a verbal filter right now, as evidenced by everything she was telling him. "You're definitely a knight right now, it's pretty hot. I can walk but now that I know you're capable of carrying me, we'll be trying that in the future".

"Neither am I. She's pretty remarkable. They both are." Bryce stated, thinking out loud. "Not yet, I don't know how to face him. It's crazy because part of me is kind of envious of him. We were both the fucked up football players in high school, the guys that simply just fucked around and got in trouble. He was always a good person, but he was fucked up. And then he came here, and he grew and he got better. I guess a part of me is envious of that because I'm still stuck in that fucked up phase." he confided, although he immediately felt vulnerable and shook his head. "Why am I even talking about this with you? You're drunk off your ass right now." he teased lightly, laughing softly to show that there had been no heat behind his words; his laughter followed by another small chuckle in response to how cute he found her slight stutter to be. "He talked about you a lot, you know. He never said a name, but he always referred to the one girl from the group home that made life worth living, the one that saved him. Don't tell him I told you this, but he once told me years ago that if never left the group home you probably would've been the person he ended up with...but I'm hoping you're way too drunk to remember this entire conversation." It seemed as though he was also lacking a verbal filter that evening, although he didn't have anything he could blame it on. Again, he only hoped that she wouldn't remember much of this conversation. "You just let me know, babe, I will carry you whenever and wherever." Once he was confident that she was stable and able to walk, Bryce grabbed her head and led the redhead out of the bar and towards the uber that had been waiting outside, one that he sneakily requested on his phone as she was talking. He gave the uber driver a quick hello as he opened up the door, allowing Amber-Jade to get into the car before he did.

“I still think it’s crazy that we’re all so closely connected and have ended up here at the same time. It’s like six degrees of separation with the four of us, almost like we were destined to be in each other’s lives”, Amber shared her thoughts with her. “I get that, I’m pretty envious of him too. He still thinks he’s fucked up but honestly, he’s grown so much and he’s got such a bright future ahead of him. Sometimes I worry that I’ve only gotten worse since he was last in my life and I really don’t want to screw him up again”, she confided in Bryce, genuinely feeling like he understood her. “This will probably make me sound crazy but one of the reasons why I feel drawn to you is because you aren’t perfect... I get this feeling that I could tell you anything and you’d understand and you wouldn’t judge me”. She laughed at his next comment, playfully nudging him. “Maybe it feels safer to tell me because I’m drunk. I’m also pretty damn good at keeping secrets, which means that I’ll never tell another living soul anything that you just said”. Her cheeks flushed slightly when Bryce spoke more about her relationship with Ollie. “He was the first person that I ever loved. I’ve never told anyone that before. Sometimes I wish that we had given things a shot but most of the time I’m relieved that we didn’t. I think I would have destroyed him. I certainly wouldn’t have made him as happy as he is with Lola. I probably would have sabotaged it all and lost him as a friend. I think.... I think it’s safer that I’m just a “what if” in his life rather than a relationship that we tried and failed”, she tried her best to explain. “I’m definitely going to make you carry me to the bedroom next time we fool around” she laughed, leaning slightly into him as they made their way over to the Uber. She said hi to the driver as she got in, smiling warmly at Bryce when he joined her in the backseat.

“It’s actually really nice to think about, but also crazy to know just how small this world is. There could’ve easily been a universe where Ollie and Lola first, and you and I met first. But I’m kinda liking how everything played out...but I’m also pretty shocked we have resorted to having some crazy foursome.” Bryce spoke, the last part of his statement only coming out half-jokingly. “Amber-Jade, I’ve seen the way that man looks at you. It’s obvious that he absolutely adores you, in a friendly way obviously. You not being in his life is what can ruin him.” He assured. It was actually nice knowing that both Amber and Ollie had someone in their life who was practically family, each other. “Judgement free zone here. I may be fucked up, but I’d like to think I’m a decent listener.” He said half-jokingly, his smile growing as he spoke to the redhead. The male nodded his head as the other spoke about being Ollie’s what if, and in that moment he could totally relate. “I get it. It’s the same with me and Lola, honestly. I was completely in love with that girl, but I would’ve destroyed her if I ever took that step with her. Some people just aren’t meant to be, but those two are. I’m already picking out gifts for their wedding.” Again, Bryce laughed softly at his own comment. It was nice having someone like Amber to talk to, someone he could genuinely relate with on a more personally level, making their conversations far from being the typical superficial ones. He laughed along with her at her comment, making a mental note to literally sweep her off of her feet the next time he was with her, a time where she would probably be least expecting it. Getting into the uber, Bryce immediately leaned over and put on the girls seatbelt; he always hated and was always untrusting of Uber’s. He engaged in small talk with the driver as they made their way across town and before he knew it, the driver had been pulling up in front of the beach house. Luckily Rebekah’s car wasn’t in the driveway, meaning that she hadn’t been home. Thanking the driver, he leaned over and pressed the button to release Amber’s seatbelt before stepping out of the car, offering his hands to her when it was her turn to get out. “Time to get you to bed.” He chuckled softly as the driver pulled away.

"It really is crazy, we've all had such an impact on each other's lives but we didn't all meet until we ended up at MU at the same time. It sounds like the plot of a TV show, actually... although if it was a TV show, you and I would have definitely met in NYC and it would end with that crazy foursome", Amber-Jade laughed. "Thank you for saying that, it means a lot to me. I just... I feel like a bad friend sometimes. He's so guilty at having left me alone in that group home even though it was the right thing for him to do and I hate seeing that guilt. I... I've kept things to myself, things that I really should have told him, because I don't want to make him feel more guilty", she explained, feeling like Bryce would understand. "What's the most fucked up thing that you've done?" she asked softly. It sounded like she was prying for information but honestly, she was subtly feeling him out; trying to determine whether she could finally open up to someone about the worst things that she had ever done before those secrets ate her alive. "We were an important chapter for both of them but not the last chapter and that's okay. I've already called dibs on being Ollie's best man, though, so you'll need to find a different position in either the bridal party or groomsmen", she grinned. She smiled softly when he leaned over and buckled up her seatbelt, touched by the gesture, and just listened as Bryce and the Uber driver made small talk. It didn't take long for them to reach the beach house, Bryce undoing her seatbelt and helping her out of the car. "Spoken like a true knight in shining whatever".

Bryce simply just laughed at her interpretation of what seemed to be such a small world. "The world has a very weird way of sorting things out, that's for damn sure. Can't complain though, lead me to you after all." He said, his smile still remaining as he spoke to the redhead. "Between you and I, I think Ollie felt lonely in his foster home. His foster parents are amazing people, don't get me wrong - but I think they bit off more than they could chew. He was seventeen when he got there and was the oldest out of six kids, so he didn't get much attention - I think that's he acted so fucking much. We were literally each other's worst influences." Bryce couldn't help but to chuckle at the distant memory, suddenly missing his friend like crazy. "Listen, I'm not going to pressure you into telling him something you don't want to tell him, but I can tell you first hand that he's the guy you can call in a crisis. He carries a lot of guilt and basically the whole world on his shoulders, but he's damn good in a crisis, and he's loyal. I should fucking hate him for what he did to my sister, but I can't because when it came down to it, he was there for her more than me and my entire family was when it really mattered. I'm sure he's holding on to secrets that he's never told you, or anyone, so he'll understand if you decide to not tell him. And honestly, some things are better to be kept a secret than to be spoken out loud." he explained, completely understanding where she was coming from. Bryce also held onto things that even his greatest, most trustworthy friends didn't even know. He grew silent at her question, truly debating what he should say, or if he should say anything at all. Taking a moment to think about it, he sighed before speaking. "I don't think you want to know that." He easily assumed, his sentence coming out as a mere warning that he wasn't the best person around - far from it actually. "Damn, I can't believe you literally just ripped that title away from me. I didn't even know I had to fight for it! But you would look hot in a tux, so I guess I won't complain too much." He chuckled. He smiled at her comment before playfully rolling her eyes at her, knowing she was very much too drunk if she had viewed him so highly. Bryce leaned forward to grab the keys from her hand, taking her hand into his free one and leading her into the house, through the house, and into her room. He sat her down on the bed before kneeling onto the floor, beginning to take off her shoes and planning on helping her strip the rest of her clothing if needed so she can get comfortable.

"It's cute that you think that meeting me was good luck, I'll check in with you again in a few months and see if you still feel that way", Amber-Jade joked. "I always hoped that the foster home would be better than the group home, that's all I wanted for him. We were always just a number in that place and after he left, it just got worse because I lost the person that helped to keep me sane. I hate knowing that he was lonely in his foster home but I'm glad that he had you, even if the two of you were a destructive combination". Knowing that Ollie had people in his life after her, people that looked after him, was a comforting thought. "This isn't a current crisis, though. This is about what happened after he moved away from the group home and I can't tell him that, not when he already feels so guilty about leaving me alone in that place. He'll never forgive himself if he knows everything that happened. I know that he's a good guy, that he's loyal and good in a crisis, which is why I refuse to tell him. I don't want to be the person that breaks him", she murmured, trusting that Bryce understood what she meant. "If it makes you feel better, I'm pretty damn confident that I have you beat in that department. The most fucked up thing I've ever done, the thing that I won't even tell Ollie? I was selling myself in NYC. I was sleeping in homeless shelters, shoplifting just so that I could eat, and going home with random people so that I'd have a roof over my head for the night. I had no money to my name, no GED, no prospects at all so one night, I decided to charge for the pleasure of my company rather than just giving it out for free". Her voice was emotionless as she spoke, bracing herself for his judgement or rejection. "Play your cards right and maybe you'll be able to sleep with the best man at the reception", she flirted, winking at him. As she sat down on the bed and Bryce started to help her undress, she looked at him with adoring eyes. "Can you... are you staying the night? It would be nice to have the company. I just got back from seeing my father in prison and it's the first time I've seen him since he killed my mom so I don't really want to be alone".

“And you’re completely in denial if you think that I’m joking. You know just for that, I’m going to say meeting you was the greatest luck I could’ve possibly had in a few months, whether it’s true or not.” Bryce laughed, his stubborn nature completely coming out in that very moment. “Yeah, he’s told me some of the shit that would go down in those homes. I’m sorry if you also went through some crap while being in the group home.” His words were sincere as he spoke. Although his parents didn’t pay much attention to him and Allison (at least not as much as their three older siblings), and despite that they were completely emotionally abusive to the two, Bryce couldn’t really complain as things could’ve very much been worse. At least he had a roof over his head every night, and didn’t have to worry about where he was getting his next meal from, at least not like Ollie and Amber-Jade had to. “I get it. I’m the same with my sister. Love the girl to death, and trust her more than I trust anyone, but there’s just some shit I just can’t tell her. I don’t think you’d break him, but also he can surprise me at times. You tell whoever you want to tell, I’m sure he’ll understand either way, and what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” He said with a shrug, completely seeing where she had been coming from, especially because he felt the same way with his little sister. Although his facial expression had remained neutral, his heart had practically dropped to the pit of his stomach as she spoke about what had to remain unspoken between her and Ollie — her selling herself. He didn’t know what to say, especially because he knew that this was partially the liquor taking over, her intoxicated state making her so open to him, despite the fact that the two still barely knew each other. He wanted to talk about it further, but knew this wasn't the time. It would just have to wait until the morning when she was sober, and when they were both able to take things a bit more seriously. Still, he didn’t want to just not say anything. “Part of me wants to say that you should tell Ollie, but another part of me says that Ollie would somehow turn into a FBI agent and hunt those mother fuckers down...but shit. I’m sorry you had to go through that, babe. Are you doing better now? Now that you’re here?” He asked in a cautious tone, not really used to this whole being there for someone thing. He typically didn’t talk about heavy things like this with the women he slept with; Lola being the only exception, and now her. “Ooh, dirty wedding sex. How soon do you think I can get Ollie to propose?” Bryce laughed softly. He looked up at the redhead as he tossed her shoes to the side, giving her a shy smile. “It’s adorable that you think I’m leaving you alone when you’re this drunk. I can stay in the spare bedroom, if you want.”

"Even if meeting me was the greatest luck you could have experienced, I'm not going to believe you now. There's always a part of me that will think that you're lying just to win", Amber retorted, childishly poking her tongue out at him. "The group home was a surprise for Ollie because he had loving parents before he was taken into care. My parents were drug addicts; my father was abusive; and I was neglected from a very young age. The group home sucked but it wasn't a huge change for me", she said softly, a somber expression on her face as she actually engaged in an honest and open manner with him. "I'm glad that you get it because most people don't, most people think that someone can't be your best friend if you don't tell them literally every little thing that you've been through. If you don't talk to your sister, who do you talk to?" she asked softly, hoping that he had someone to confide in so that his secrets didn't eat him alive. "I told you that I'd have you beat in the fucked up department", she laughed bitterly. He hadn't recoiled but Amber-Jade had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that he would maybe start to pull away over the next few weeks; subtly and discreetly until it was like they had barely known each other to begin with. She wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt but life had proven to her that people didn't stay; no matter how badly she wanted them too. "I don't think that I'm ever going to tell Ollie, he'll never forgive himself for leaving me behind if he learns that". She sighed softly when he asked how she was doing now. "Lola lets me live here rent free so that helps; and my scholarship pays for the majority of my tuition. I work three jobs and that's almost enough to survive on; especially if I stick tightly to my budget and don't splurge too much. It's hard but I'm surviving so I don't need to resort to those methods", she assured him. "I've already put money on it, I think he'll be proposing by the end of this year", she said confidently. "Can you sleep here, with me? I'll keep my hands to myself but I just really can't be alone right now. I promise that I'm not trying to blur any lines, I know that we're just screwing around despite my stupid little crush on you but I could really use a friend right now".

"Then you're just going to have to believe me now when I tell you that I'm pretty damn lucky to meet someone who gets it, who gets me." Despite the fact that he had been joking around and laughing, Bryce was completely serious. "I'm sorry you had a rough upbringing and that your parents basically fucking suck. You know, everyone always thinks that my siblings and I had this amazing upbringing because my dad was a very famous hotshot lawyer, mom is a physician. They're the picture perfect couple with the picture perfect kids -- another lawyer, a doctor, a ceo, an airman, and a nurse. We looked great at business parties, but what people really didn't see was the verbal and emotional abuse that went on. Nobody saw how hard my dad was on us, especially Allison. It was a toxic household, and although it was full, it felt empty." He confided, thinking that if the girl had been confiding in him about her life, the least he could do was tell her a bit about his own upbringing. "No one." Bryce stated simply when asked who does he talk to that's not Allison. He was being honest, if he wasn't talking to Allison, he didn't really talk to anyone. He was a master at keeping things to himself, at internalizing everything; so much so, it was basically his normal. "Do you really want to keep something like that from him though? I have my own fucked up shit, but I don't tell anyone because that's just the way I do things. It's not healthy, but that's just the soldier in me, I know how to stand tall on my own. I get that you don't want to make him feel bad, but Amber-Jade he's going to feel bad either way because he didn't want to leave you. I would feel bad too if I left the one person I love just to hear that they struggled a lot. Anyone would feel bad when it comes to their loved ones, that's just the overly protective side of us." He was attempting to be the least bit rational in that moment, thinking the other could very much use some words of wisdom, even if it had made him look like a hypocrite in that very moment. "I'm glad you're doing better, but we should probably talk about this more in the morning...when you're sober." He said in a soft tone, giving her a shy smile to show that he wasn't just trying to drop the conversation. "Yikes, do you think they're ready for that?" He asked, being slightly stung by the possible fact of his best friend and the girl he was still in love with getting engaged so soon. Looking up at Amber-Jade, he smiled. He tossed her shoes to the side, before standing up and making his way towards her wardrobe in order to look for some clothes for her to change in. Grabbing what looked to be an oversized t-shirt, he walked back over to her. Bryce couldn't fight the stupid smile on his face as she basically admitted that she had a crush on him. Hearing the words only caused him to place his hands on either side of her body, bending down just to kiss her softly. "God, you're so fucking cute. I just can't resist you." He said with a soft chuckle before pulling off her shirt, just to replace it with the clean shirt he just got. "I'll sleep with you tonight. Whatever you need, I'm here."

Amber looked at him for a few seconds, trying to gauge whether or not he was serious, before she smiled softly. "Fine, I believe you right now. It'll be harder to convince me in a few months time, though". The reason why Amber-Jade was so quick to believe him was because she felt the exact same way -- it felt refreshing to be around Bryce because he just got her, no matter what fucked up thing she said or how messy her life was. "I never really bought that whole "picture perfect" ideal because most of the people I've met who have come from that background have made it clear that it's fucking awful. I'm really sorry that you and Allison both went through that. People tend to focus on physical abuse like it's the only thing that can damage a child but the verbal and emotional damage is just as scarring", she acknowledged, feeling empathy for both of the siblings and their experiences. "I would tell you to start talking to someone but that would make me a hypocrite considering I do the same thing. If you ever need someone to talk to, though, you know where to find me", she said simply, not wanting to push him into something that he wasn't ready for. "I don't like keeping secrets from him but I think it's necessary. I was going to tell him one night but before I could even get to that part of the story, I saw the expression on his face. He looked gutted at just the mentions of the homeless shelters, of stealing food to survive, of going home with people just so that I'd have a warm bed to sleep in. I had planned to tell him about the rest of it but after seeing that look on his face, I just couldn't. I... I told him that I came close to making that decision to sell myself but that I had met Lola just in time and he looked so fucking relieved. I can't take that relief from him, he doesn't deserve any more hardship in his life. I may not be a soldier like you but I can stand tall on my own too", she explained, trusting that he would understand. "If you want to talk about it more tomorrow, we can. If you want to pretend like I never told you because it's too much, too deep, I'll understand that too". She wanted to give Bryce the out if he needed it; she had put a lot on his plate tonight and didn't want to force him to talk about it further if he didn't want to. "I don't think that day is too far off, sorry. I know it's hard to see someone that you love with someone else", she said quietly, feeling bad for having hurt him by making that off-handed remark about Lola and Ollie. "I'm definitely going to regret telling you about this dumb crush in the morning, I swore that I would take that secret to my grave because I didn't want to get rejected", she admitted, a sheepish expression on his face as he took off her shirt and helped her change into a more comfortable one to sleep in. "Thank you for tonight, Bryce. It really means a lot to me", she said genuinely as she moved to get into bed, pulling down the covers so that he could get into bed beside her once he was ready.

Laughing, Bryce wrapped an arm around her shoulder and brought Amber in close, pressing her lips against her forehead. He had known that there was something about the other that he just resonated with, but he wasn't able to put his finger on it until that very moment. They were both fucked up, in their own ways. She wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, or the type to find the silver lining in everything. She was realistic, and as fucked up as it sounds, he was glad she could relate to him in some way. "And I'm sorry you went through what you did. Looks like we're both train wrecks." He stated only half-jokingly, chuckling softly in order to lighten up the mood. "If there's one thing I've learned over the past six years, it's that therapy isn't for everyone. I don't care what anyone says, saying that therapy is for everyone is complete bullshit. I just do better when I don't talk about things, it's a bit backwards, but I guess that's just how I function." He shrugged. "Sooo, you lied to him? Now I'm beginning to question this whole best friend thing." Bryce gave the other a sheepish smile, knowing that this was very much beginning to turn into a messy situation. It wasn't as though he would ever tell the other male; he wouldn't break Amber's confidence like that, and it wasn't as though the two men were talking in that moment. "Listen, I'm not going to pressure you to talk to him if you really believe that he won't be able to it. Just - Just don't let this eat you alive. You have someone who loves you, who really loves you and who'd probably go to the end of the earth for you. I know what that's like because I have a sister who can be a bit over protective, that's family. He's your family. But like you said, best friends don't have to know everything...but if you ever needed to talk to him about something, I know Ollie well enough to know that he'll put any personal feelings aside if needed. Remember that." Despite the fact that the two men weren't on the best of terms, Bryce still wanted to speak on behalf of Ollie. He had always found himself admiring and idolizing the other male due to his resilience and the way he was always able to get past all of the hardships. "It's not too much, trust me. I'm not trying to dismiss anything, but I don't know if you've noticed, but you're really drunk right now." The last part of his statement came out with a laugh, smiling at how just freaking adorable she was in this very moment. This smile and laugh immediately diminished when hearing that there was a high chance that Ollie will be proposing, and that even Amber thought that the day was quickly off. He would be lying if he said that he wasn't hurt and even a bit annoyed with himself, but he would never admit that or show it. "I'm fine." He said in a neutral tone, shrugging his shoulders as his facial expression grew hard and emotionless. "Well, would you regret it if I told you that stupid little crush may be reciprocated? And that I happen to really adore you?" Bryce spoke softly, kissing her once more before helping her get changed. He took off her pants so that she wasn't confined in her jeans, although with her state of intoxication, she probably wouldn't have even noticed. Keeping his clothes on, he took off his shoes before getting into bed next to her, opening his arms so that he could hold her if that's what she wanted. "I need you to promise me something..." He began, finding himself not being able to go to sleep as he really wasn't able to drop the sudden news of her past. "You call me or Ollie if you ever need anything, okay? I don't care what time it is, or how much you need...you come to me. Whether you need one dollar or one hundred, you call and we'll figure that shit out together if you don't want all of my money. I don't want you going back to that place...I don't want you to ever feel as though you ever have to resort to selling yourself to some sleazy guy with a micro penis just because you need to pay off a bill. I know I can speak for both me and Ollie when I say that you're not alone anymore. You have two people, maybe even more, ready whenever you need us. And if you don't want to talk to anyone else about it, then I need you to at least promise that you'll talk to me. I don't care what time, I don't care what's going on, and I don't care if it's years from now and we're not even speaking -- you come find me. Promise me that."

Amber smiled fondly when he wrapped his arm around her and pressed his lips against her forehead. She was trying her best to pretend that her stupid little crush on Bryce didn't exist, not wanting to put her heart on the line and inevitably get crushed; or to scare him away when he realized that her feelings weren't completely platonic. Most of the time, it was easy enough to pretend that nothing had changed at her end but during soft moments like this, when her entire world narrowed to the feeling of his lips on her skin, she knew that she was well and truly fucked. "This is going to sound fucked up, like I'm glad that you're a mess like me, but I promise that's not what I mean. I am genuinely sorry that you went through all that crazy shit but I think the reason why I find it so easy to be around you is because you get it. You get me", she said softly. "Trust me, I wasn't preaching therapy", she laughed. "Lola had to drag me kicking and screaming to a grief support group, I'm definitely not telling anyone to go to therapy. I more meant a trusted person in your life, someone to go to if you can't talk to Allison", she clarified. "I know, I'm the worst friend in the world", she groaned, burying her head in her hands. "I promise that I'm not letting it eat me alive. I did some fucked up things, things I'm not proud of, but I did it to survive because life dealt me a truly shitty hand. I wish that I hadn't had to resort to sex work and it's definitely not something that I'm proud of considering you're the first person that I've ever told about it but I did what I needed to do. You know Ollie better than almost anyone else... do you think that it's information that he'd want to know or do you think it's information that will eat away at him?" she questioned. "Like I said, it's not eating away at me but if it will eat away at him, I'll stand by my decision to take that information to my grave". Ollie's wellbeing meant the world to her and she refused to destroy him just to make herself feel better by being honest. "I'm a little drunk", she corrected even though Bryce was right; she just didn't want to admit how badly her prison visit had fucked with her head. "It's okay if you aren't fine. I wasn't really fine when I came to MU and realized that he was in a happily committed relationship. I think I always held onto a little bit of hope that he might end up with me but that's not the way that life worked out and that's okay. I'd rather he be happy, even if it's with someone other than me". This was just yet another thing that they had in common. "I'd only regret it if you didn't mean it, if it's just something that you were saying because I'm drunk and pretty wrecked right now", she told him, finding herself desperately hoping that it was true; that it wasn't just a line that he was throwing out to make her feel better. She didn't hesitate before moving into his arms, her head resting on his chest like this was routine for them; something that they had done a hundred times before and would do a hundred times ago. She looked up at him when he asked her to make a promise, trying to gauge whether or not he was serious. "I promise", she said softly. She found that she actually meant it, that despite years of being fiercely independent and standing on her own two feet, she was willing to put her faith in this man; to trust him with her darkest secrets and come to him if things ever got rough again.

Bryce knew that it was beginning to happen again. He was beginning to fall for yet another girl that was nearly as fucked up as he was. The last time he felt this instant connection with someone, the last time he truly blurred the lines with someone was Lola - after his late girlfriend died. He knew that he should be running for the hills, or at least setting firmer boundaries, but he found himself truly not being able to resist Amber-Jade. From the moment they met, he's found her to be breathtaking, vibrant, and had that fire in her soul that he was always a sucker for. It was only a matter of time before the lines between the two were completely blurred, kind of how they were with Lola at one point; in which the two were together, but not together - this weird limbo in which no one could really pin point what was going on. "No, I completely get it. I feel the same way, just didn't want to say it out loud because it sounds fucked." He laughed, thankful that the two were on the same page when it came to the topic. "Good, because my parents have been trying since my girlfriend died. Pretty sure they were even considering shock therapy and one of those creep Christian camps at one point. But who's your person if you don't talk to Ollie?" He asked curiously, trying to remain open minded about not being so closed off. Bryce took a moment to really think about her question, and to put himself into Ollie's mind; trying to figure out what the other male would probably say if he were in this position. "I think he would tell you that he'd love you no matter what you tell him. At the end of the day he would just want you to be okay, just like he wants everyone to be okay. It's your dirty laundry, so at the end of the day who you tell and don't tell is up to you." He said in a soft tone, giving her a sheepish smile after. It was a difficult situation, but it wasn't any of his business. "I'm fine, Amber-Jade." Bryce said once again, putting up that wall. He didn't want to talk about his relationship with Lola, his strained friendship with someone he considered to be a brother, and the fact that he was even having the feelings he was currently having in that very moment. He shook his head, essentially snapping himself out of whatever was going on in his head. He then focused his attention back onto the redhead. Chuckling at her comment, he leaned back in and kissed her, this time the kissing lingering for a bit longer than normal. "Do you think I didn't mean it?" He asked as he pulled away, his lips just barely grazing over hers. He kissed the top of her head as the other made their way closer to his body. Bryce found himself holding onto her as if she was suddenly going to vanish. But in all honesty, he just didn't want to let go, not after she had opened up to him about something so dark. The moment felt vulnerable, intimate, and yet so perfect. "Thank you...I care about you, Amber-Jade. Like, I really fucking care about you."

Amber had no intention of developing feelings for anyone at MU but without her even realizing it, Bryce had managed to work his way under her skin. She was capable of separating sex from emotions as it was something that she had practiced for years now, never allowing herself to become emotionally attached to anyone that she was sleeping with, yet he was quickly proving to be the exception to that rule. It was both exhilarating and terrifying. "It really is fucked but I'm glad that you feel it too... if I was the only one, I'd know that I need professional hope", Amber joked, laughing along with him. She didn't flinch when he told her about his girlfriend dying; the two of them truly taking everything in stride when it came to the revelations in their friendship. She knew what it was like to tell someone something personal, only for them to have a dramatic or judgemental reaction; it just caused you to shut down further and she never wanted to be responsible for that, especially not when she cared about him so much already. "I'm glad your parents didn't get their way, shock therapy and creepy Christian camps are a terrible way to deal with grief. Besides, I happen to like you the way you are; without shock therapy fucking up your brain or that creepy camp converting you to organized religion". She didn't say that she was sorry for his loss because it really didn't help anything but she took his hand, softly running her thumb over his skin; wordlessly conveying that she was here for him. "I know that it doesn't seem like it but Ollie's still my person. I tell him everything else, I just can't bring myself to talk about the... the sex work. I guess that kind of makes you one of my people too, considering you're the only person I've ever told about that". She nodded her head slightly at his opinion on how Ollie would likely react to that news. "I'll think about telling him, I'm just not ready for that yet", she said after considering his response for a few seconds. "I know that you're fine. I'm just saying that it's okay not to be fine sometimes, I'm a living example of that". She wasn't going to push him to talk about Lola and Ollie, essentially dropping the topic there. She kissed him back, a fond smile on her face when he pulled away. "No one has ever meant it before. I've never meant it before. I've only really had romantic feelings for two people in my life and I wasn't exactly telling them how I felt; or pursuing a relationship with them", she explained. "It's terrifying but I really fucking care about you too. I didn't mean for it to happen, you just got under my skin without me even realizing it".

Bryce laughed at Amber’s soft joke. It was crazy how the two were so much alike — it was probably why they got along so well. He hadn’t even realized that he had mention Jess, someone he still held very near and dear to his heart. The man never really talked about her to anyone, the only people who really knew about her being his siblings, and Ollie. Lola and Avery knew about her, but even then he tried to steer away from that conversation. And yet, he had just blurted it out as if it was nothing, blurting out the one thing that made him weak in the knees. It was probably a good thing that Amber didn’t really respond to that part of his statement, because knowing him he would’ve very much began freaking out, and reverting back to his old ways. “Damn, imagine if I really did go to Christian camp...holy shit. I probably wouldn’t be as good in bed as I am.” He laughed softly. When she took his hand, he immediately brought their hands up to his lips, kissing hers softly before lowering them. “Hey, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. It’s your business, and your friendship. I just happen to be the person who knows both of you, but no judgement here.” He assured. Bryce let out a sigh as the other went on to say that it was okay if he wasn’t fine. In all honesty, he was far from fine in that moment. Although the two had been joking about the couple getting married, he didn’t actually think it was being brought into consideration. He knew that Ollie loved Lola, but he also loved Allison, from what his concern was. Bryce never would’ve expected Ollie to really consider spending the rest of his life with one person, and in that moment he felt as though a huge bomb had been dropped; and that another bomb would soon be dropped if Amber was right and a proposal was in the works. Still, he refused to speak about it further, and he had been really fighting to not just put Amber to bed and head to the bar just to fuck his feelings away using some random girl. But he couldn’t just leave her here, not when she was this intoxicated. “I just don’t believe that. I bet you have your fair share of admirers, they’re probably just out in hiding somewhere.” He said with a smile. “You’re talking to the guy who’s infamous for not talking about his feelings. I’ve only had romantic feelings for three girls, two of them I constantly ran away from as soon as those said feelings were talked about.” Once again, he laughed. Although, he did end up shaking his head in mere disappointment, as his running had resulted in breaking both Lola’s and Avery’s heart continuously. “Same goes you. I don’t know what it is about you, but I just can’t seem to stay away.” He said in a quiet voice. Still holding her in his arms, he brought one hand up to her face, his thumb gently stroking her cheek before tilting her head up. He leaned down slightly to press a gentle kiss onto her lips. “You should get some rest, babe. You’re really going to be feeling this tomorrow.”

Amber could instinctively tell that she had made the right decision by not focusing on the comment about his deceased girlfriend, having a strong feeling that it would have caused Bryce to immediately put his walls back up. "Honestly, I think you would be kinkier if you had gone to Christian camp. You would have all this built up energy and when you finally got a chance to unleash that, it would have been wild", Amber-Jade told him, laughing along with him. "I know that you aren't judging me, I guess I just wanted your feedback about what you thought was the right thing to do because you do know both of us and I trust your judgement", she explained. She really regretted having made that joking comment about Lola and Ollie potentially getting engaged soon because even though she believed that it was true, it had clearly bothered Bryce; even if he was refusing to let on. She decided to drop the topic, though, not wanting to push any further as she was worried that it would upset him further and affect the relationship that she and Bryce had been building. "If they're hiding, they're doing a very good job of it", she said, laughing off his comment as she really didn't believe it. "You literally sound like me right now. I literally never told the first person that I had feelings for them and when it came to the second person, I basically dropped out of high school and never talked to them again after I realized that there was potential there. I had other shit going on at the time that also contributed to the decision to drop out of high school but honestly, it was a fucked up thing for me to do and she definitely deserved better". Bryce's relationship history didn't scare her off as that would have been incredibly hypocritical considering her own past relationships. "I don't want you to stay away, I'm pretty infatuated with you", she said softly, smiling fondly when he gently kissed her lips. "Promise that you'll stay?" she asked a little nervously as she got into bed, knowing that he was right and that she should start sleeping it off.

"I don't think I would even have survived a place like that. Either that, or I would've lowkey been corrupting all the girls there." Bryce said with a soft laugh. "I think you should just follow whatever your gut is telling you to do. Don't make your decision based off what I'm saying." He said with a soft smile. He personally thought Ollie should know, considering that if there was anyone who could've possibly said the right thing in this very moment, it was him. But he also understood where Amber was coming from. Ollie had always been notorious for holding the entire world on his shoulders, as he always wanted to save every one, and yet always simultaneously put himself on the back burner. He was certainly glad that the other dropped the topic that was Lola and Oliver. This was something he wasn't ready to talk about; and quite frankly, he was still in the process of fully and truly getting over the girl. "Or maybe you just haven't realized who's pining after you from a far. So let me make it a bit more clear. Consider me one of your admirers." The two had already admitted their crushes for one another, so he didn't see what the big deal was of making this comment. "Feelings fucking suck. That shit gets a bit too complicated for me. It's always been easier to just run away than to ruin something that's already so good with feelings." He ranted for just a brief moment. Bryce was glad that he had someone to relate to, especially about this. In that moment, he was convinced that the reason why he was so drawn to the redhead was because of the fact that the two were the same in some ways. He continued to hold her, his hand gently running up and down her back as she laid in his arms. Although this was supposed to be him comforting her, he found a bit of serenity from the gesture. He could hold her forever, and a part of him actually wanted to do so. "I'll be here when you wake up. Promise." He assured, keeping his voice in a mere whisper as the two laid in the dark, the only sounds filling the air being those of their voices and their subtle breathing.

"I definitely think that you would have been corrupting everyone, you would have been the sexual awakening for a lot of girls", Amber-Jade teased. "My gut instinct is almost always to keep things hidden, I'm not exactly a fan of talking about my feelings or difficult topics", she admitted. She knew that it wasn't exactly healthy but she had been raised to never really talk about things, no matter how bad they got. It was hard to shake that habit, even though she was older and somewhat wiser these days. She wasn't just worried about how Ollie would react to this new information; but how hard it would be for her to initiate that conversation with him. "We'll see if you still admire me in the morning. Maybe it's just something that you're saying to make me feel better about my confession because you think that I won't remember tomorrow", she joked; although honestly, there was a small part of her that worried that might actually be the case. "Can we promise to try not to do that with each other? I know that we'll probably both be tempted to run at some point because it's easier and familiar but I don't want you to be another person that I leave behind", she admitted. She wasn't usually so honest with people but she felt comfortable around Bryce and it was certainly easier to make such disclosures when they were lying together in the dark. "Thank you for tonight", she said softly, shifting her position slightly so that she could press her lips gently against his.

Bryce chuckled at the comment and shook his head, finding the theoretical scenario to be rather absurd, but also something that he would manage to do. “I would’ve gotten kicked out in at least two weeks. And I’m sure they’d throw holy water on me to make sure I don’t burn.” He joked back, continuing to laugh at the thought. “You know what? I can’t even say anything about that because then I would be the biggest hypocrite. Sometimes it’s just better to remain quiet. Avoids all of the feelings and difficulty of things.” He immediately agreed with her. Bryce wasn’t going to force her to do anything she didn’t want to do; so if she wanted to keep this personal and to herself, he wasn’t going to judge. He had no right to judge. “It’ll fucking suck if you don’t remember this tomorrow, because I don’t think I can admit all of this again.” He chuckled. He really was fond of Amber, and admired her entirely. “I’ll promise to try...although I really don’t want to run away from you. You already mean a whole lot to me, Amber-Jade.” His voice was soft as he spoke, and he could feel himself becoming more and more vulnerable as the seconds continued to pass. Bryce immediately brought his hand up to her cheek as she leaned up and placed her lips against his, cupping it gently as he deepened the kiss just for a quick moment. “I’m just glad you’re safe. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

"Getting kicked out of one of those schools is basically rock bottom, Bryce. They think that they can save everyone, what does that say about you if you would have gotten kicked out in two weeks?" Amber-Jade teasingly questioned, winking at him to let him know that she was just joking. "Life really fucked us up, huh?" It was rather selfish but she was a little relieved to know that she wasn't the only person that bottled things up and avoided talking feelings, even though it was one of the unhealthiest ways to live. "I didn't drink enough to be blackout drunk, I'm going to remember this in the morning", she assured him. Honestly, it was half-assurance and half-warning; letting him know that she would still remember the nature of his feelings in the morning. "I promise to try, too. I don't want you to be just another part of my past, a giant 'what if?'" she admitted. She said nothing further, instead just smiling warmly at him when he promised that he would be there in the morning; those words making her feel safe enough to drift off to sleep.

"Me getting kicked out would make me legendary." Bryce stated simply, laughing before dropping the topic. He really just wanted the girl to get some rest, although he did really enjoyed talking to her. Tonight had been a weird night for him. What started off with him just getting a few drinks at the local bar, only ended with him not only saving Amber from something that could've ended badly, bringing her home to safety, expressing that he was basically pining over her, and was now holding her in bed as if it was a routine thing for them to do. To say that it had been a whirlwind of emotions even for him, and he was actually sober. He simply nodded as she mentioned that she didn't want him to be one of her what ifs, nonverbally agreeing with her. He pressed a kiss on the top of her head before leaning over slightly to turn off the last light on, officially leaving them in the dark. It wasn't long before he also drifted off to a deep slumber, and in the morning she would wake up to a nice breakfast in bed.

[aviewfromtheclouds25]

Tell me your other theories on his return. I’m intrigued if you say it all fits together.

What’s you feelings on a reunion in the future? How would it happen?

Oh don’t be intrigued haha! That was really just in terms of the Luke aspect (because he has to have a bigger purpose, because otherwise his introduction and role in this storyline is such an utterly perplexing choice even for the current state of ED) and the timeframe, in that I expect Luke to have some knowledge which he’ll reveal eventually - not any time soon, because Aaron needs to spiral (and breakdown please) and he can’t even start that until he stops suppressing his feelings and distracting himself with Cain’s drama etc (all the while Vic and Luke will be progressing I imagine) - and this could help to change Robert’s sentence from murder to manslaughter, or even the original GBH with intent, and therefore shorten his sentence. So with time served, Robert could be out a fair bit sooner (how much, I don’t know) than the 14 years he was given… Which just helps me reaffirm to myself that half the reason they gave Robert the longer sentence in the first place (aside from the plot of tearing him away from Aaron obviously) is because ED are prepared to wait a few years to see if Ryan wants to return. With the potential of being able to change the charge and sentence, it means their options are relatively open for the time being to see how things develop both on and off screen. (If I’m wrong, just let me stay here please.)

I don’t have any fully-fledged theories yet, it’s a bit too soon for that! All I have at the mo are vague thoughts which aren’t that exciting… I’ve seen quite a bit of talk about “affair 2.0” but I have to admit I’m personally not interested in seeing that. Because 1) The drama and angst and intensity of the original affair just could never be emulated again, even by the very same and always amazing Ryan and Danny! 2) How would nobody pick up on it this time? 3) The whole point of everything that happened in 2017 and the creation of “Robron 2.0” was that their marriage has been built on far more solid foundations than those forged during their affair, and I would hate for all the progress they made together to be taken backwards. 4) It is madness to me that anyone could even contemplate that if Aaron is with another dude (if ahem), that he wouldn’t just drop him as quick as Alex the incompetent doc in that club. Regardless of whether he was prepared to take Robert back or not, if the love of his life has returned, I just don’t see any potential new guy sticking around. (Unless there’s a plot.) (I also say all of this in the hope that no new guy becomes serious or long-term.)

I’d like the reunion 3.0 to be dramatic and angsty, but at the same time I want it to be true to Robron and where they were in their life together before they were torn apart. I don’t know that I can really form any theories on what I expect to happen so soon after Robert’s gone (I love that he’s been gone a week and all we can all talk about is when he comes back haha), but I can offer you a vision of what I personally would quite like..? :P

So I have no clue on the timescale - I guess that depends on Ryan! :P I always thought Vic would be the natural choice (for the show, not me haha) to bring Robert home, but then @nooneelsecomesclose17’s post put the image of Jimmy greeting Robert outside that prison in my head and now I can’t unsee it (nor would I want to, it’s genius). So I’ve decided to tie that image to a long-held dream of mine…

So in this dream Aaron will have signed the divorce papers once he’s finished spiralling because we need wedding 3.0 obviously, but in his heart he still won’t have given up on being reunited with Robert some day. So I’d like him to spend much of the time Robert’s locked up doing things which remind him of Robert and help him feel closer to him - things like ripping people off, scamming them and trying to get his hands on Home Farm. Because my old dream which I think I’ve covered before (although probably just in my tags haha) was for Robron and the Kings to own Home Farm together; for it to become the hub of Home James once more, for the sheer comedy of having these two power couples and their chaotic families getting under each others’ feet, making it more relevant to the rest of the village than the house on the hill with its panto villains, and for it to actually become a home. So in terms of this new dream, I would have Aaron and Jimmy team up on this endeavour - and they’re actually the only ones left from that original portacabin quartet! So Aaron because he needs a goal and a focus and if it’s one in which he feels more connected to Robert then even better, and Jimmy because Nicola is always going to be up for improving their lot. I also quite like the idea of Aaron being able to do what Robert never could, and I have no idea who will be at Home Farm x amount of years down the line but if it was still the Tates (although could we at least get rid of Kim + co. and bring back Joe instead?) then I would be delighted to see the Kings take it all from them once more! :P

So I would have Aaron and Jimmy very close to achieving their goal by the time Robert is about to be released. And because Robert still hasn’t had any contact with his family and is nervous about how they’ll feel towards him, who does he contact? Jimmy! And Jimmy of course is a great oaf and would immediately let it slip to Aaron. And regardless of what’s passed, I think Aaron would have some understanding and empathy of how daunting and overwhelming it would be for Robert to return to the village after so long of complete isolation, from the world and from the people who are his world… So he and Jimmy would hatch a plan…

Cue Jimmy driving Robert back to the village, chewing his ear off or “pecking his head”, when they suddenly happen to “break down” in the lay-by… Robert would get out of the car to get away from Jimmy’s incessant talking and because it’s obviously a small confined space, but then he would realise where they actually were and become overwhelmed by that too - and since this is my dream world, they would treat us to another little montage of memories to come full circle from that too! :P Meanwhile, Jimmy would be “phoning for a mechanic” before joining Robert outside because he might be an oaf, but he cares… And then much quicker than it should be, Aaron of course turns up. So then he would step out of the car and we would get the delightful combination of intense Robron eye contact and a very obviously awkward Jimmy… And because it’s still my favourite thing, I would like a wordless embrace with alllll the emotions similar to when Aaron was released. At which point Jimmy would clumsily make himself scarce and drive off (in the vehicle which very obviously had not broken down, bless).

So then we’d be left with an awkward, tense Robron because neither of them know what happens next, only how good it feels to be even breathing the same air again… Perhaps at this stage Aaron would be in some kind of relationship (because he tried to convince himself he had to “move on” and because I might be able to accept it for a few weeks if I have the guarantee that Robert’s on his way home already :P), so we’d obviously get a conversation with a lot of callbacks and then Aaron would just dump that chestnut in there and we’d get something along the lines of; R: So why are you still here? A: You know. [But Robert doesn’t respond. Unsure of what Aaron is saying, he waits.] A: Because I love you, that’s why. I never stopped. And they can both be emotional, not knowing the next step, so Aaron could fill the silence with some quip about also needing to give Robert a lift home now Jimmy’s gone which Rob, bless him, wouldn’t even have noticed. And then Robert and I would both be left pondering what exactly Aaron means by “home”. But on the journey home, Robert will find his watch in the car (yeah, I’m really going with that old theme and sentiment of the cars here!)…

Beyond that I would have Aaron finish with this new dude and then for him to have a proper conversation with Robert about where they stand, once Robert’s started adjusting to the outside world again. And in this conversation we’d see that they’ve both been hardened by everything that’s happened since Robert went away, that Robert in particular has some issues he needs to work through before they even contemplate what the future might look like for them, but I’d want Aaron to tell Robert that line “I’ll wait for you. ‘Til you’re ready.“  And then I’d like them to embark on friendship…3.0?…with Aaron being supportive to Robert and helping him through the process of adjusting back into normality after x years of total isolation on that island. (The phrase "no man is an island” would definitely come into play with all of this, especially with Robert having cut all lines of communication.) And gradually they’d grow closer, and I’d be reliving the good old days of “It’s going to happen soon! It has to happen soon!” :P Meanwhile, Aaron and Jimmy would have one last big job to do to have the means to get Home Farm and naturally Aaron would have told Robert all about the scheme. So Robert would want in on this last stretch but Aaron would put his foot down, reminding Robert that if it all went wrong he’d end up back inside. But if Aaron’s getting mixed up with dodgy people and risking his life, there is absolutely no way Robert is going to listen to that of course. So he gets involved and the two of them help Jimmy escape before they themselves get stuck in some life-and-death situation and acknowledge that they absolutely cannot live without each other ever again. They both live, the dodgy people either get carted off to jail or die by their own ends (I have no specifics on the deadly situation, you know), and we get settled for wedding 3.0 and years more of Robron…

This is a ramble which serves absolutely no purpose except to distract me from the current Robert-less situation, so if you actually committed to reading all of this, I’m sorry haha!

[gaycrouton]

Yours

Words of Lust 25/27 [Mulder and Scully are a little too loyal when it comes to defending each other.] Haha, I’m reposting my older fics here in order, so I apologize for how many “coming to each other’s defense” fics in a row there have been, but I have a feeling you all aren’t mad. Lol eitherway,

Yours : (pronoun) that which belongs to you.

Scully was late. Not by five minutes, not by half an hour, Dana Katherine Scully was running almost two hours late. He had gone from preparing witty remarks to outright worrying when the first hour passed. He had tried calling her cell phone, only to go to voicemail, and when he tried calling her landline, he got the answering machine. The same results happened when he called the second time, and the third. Even though it was unlikely, maybe she took a day off and he just forgot. Yeah right.

He figured if she decided not to come in today, she would have at least called Skinner. He knew the man wouldn’t go against Scully’s wishes if she hadn’t wanted him to know, but the whole situation was just odd and he was willing to try anything. This was just so out of character for her. The phone rang for a second until Skinner’s assistant picked up, “Office of A.D Skinner, how may I help you?”

“Hey Arlene, this is Fox Mulder. Is Skinner available? I just need to ask him something,” he asked, checking his watch for the hundredth time.

“I’m afraid Skinner’s in a disciplinary meeting. May I take a message?”

Mulder sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “No, no, I was just trying to find Scully, tha-” he was cut off as soon as the name left his mouth.

“Oh, um,” she hesitated, continuing in a hushed voice, “Scully’s in the disciplinary meeting too.”

His eyes shot up in surprise. It’s not like Scully hadn’t been in disciplinary meetings before, but usually he was always the one being disciplined. Did he do something wrong recently and they were talking about it? No- Scully would have given him a heads up. “What’s the disciplinary meeting about?”

“It’s about the incident that happened this morning,” she said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Incident?” he repeated.

Arlene’s quick responses came to a halt and the phone went silent for a moment, “...you don’t know?”

“Know what?” he pried. He was a heavy mix of confused and nervous.

“Ummm. Oh, no, Mulder? Are you there? Oh no, bad connection,” she rambled before hanging up. Mulder sat there and listened to the dial tone as he contemplated his next move. If history repeats itself, she was likely getting reamed out because of him, so it only made sense that he should be allowed to barge in on whatever meeting they were having.

He grabbed his jacket and jogged to the elevator, eager to find out what this incident was. During the whole journey from the basement to Skinner’s office, he felt more eyes on him than he was used to. Being gawked at and talked about was second nature to him, but it was like people had given up even trying to hide it. When he was a few feet away from Skinner’s door, he saw a group of men actually gesturing to him and laughing. Having enough, he walked up to them and deadpanned, “Is something funny?”

All the men jokingly put their hands up in mock defense, “Oh, nothing Spooky. We didn’t mean to offend you. Please don’t sic your bitch on us.”

Mulder had no idea what they were implying, but, if he had to guess, the ‘bitch’ they were referring to was Scully. “Excuse me?” he seethed.

“Hey, we just don't want to end up like Agent Thomas.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Mulder spat.

As one of the men opened their mouth to speak, the door to Skinner’s office burst open and Scully came rushing out. “Hey Mrs. Spooky, your boyfriend’s here to collect you,” one of the men taunted, earning some high fives from the other. Mulder advanced on them, ready to pick a fight when Skinner interrupted.

“That’s enough!” he shouted. “As far as I’m aware all of you are being paid to do your job, which sure as hell doesn’t entail loitering in the hallway outside my office.” The men scattered while Mulder jogged down the hall to catch up with Scully.

“Hey, is everything okay?” he reached out to touch her shoulder, but she shrugged off his hand as soon as it touched her without even turning around, raising her hand to signal him to stop.

“Mulder, I’m sorry. Not now,” she sighed in exasperation, continuing to rush down the hallway. Mulder just stopped in his tracks, unsure what to do. He couldn’t tell if he was being kept in the dark, responsible for something, or a mixture of all three.

He ran a hand over the back of his neck when he heard Skinner’s voice call out to him, “Mulder, I want to see you in my office now.” Jesus Christ this was a hell of a day and he still had no idea what was going on.

He walked back down the hall into Skinner’s waiting room, ignoring Arlene’s prying gaze. As he was about to enter Skinner’s office, he almost ran right into the man coming out. He stopped and took in the man’s appearance. He recognized Agent Thomas, but he had an already forming black eye and a wicked nosebleed, it honestly might be broken from the look of it.

Did Scully do this? Scully wasn’t the type to lash out at people, so Mulder started thinking of all the reasons she might have done this. Every possible scenario resulted in this man hurting her in some way and her lashing out in self-defense. Scully was as non-violent as they came, she was only violent under stress. Mulder’s blood started to boil at the thought. He took a step forward, invading Thomas’ personal space to growl in a low voice, “What did you do to her?”

“I didn’t do anything to that bitch! Look at my face,” he yelled. I swear to god, the next person to call her a bitch is getting hit.

“You probably deserved it,” Mulder replied.

“Is everyone in this building on an adrenaline rush today? Agent Thomas, get the hell out. Agent Mulder, come in and shut the door.” Skinner’s voice balked out from in the room.

The men exchanged glares, but did as asked. When the door shut, Mulder stalked over to Skinner’s desk and plopped into a chair. “Can you tell me what the hell’s going on?”

He noticed in this moment just how stressed out Skinner was. He let out a slow breath and ran his hands down his face, as if trying to wipe the exhaustion off. “Before you start, I just want you to know I didn’t want to do this, but there’s irrefutable evidence and it would look like favoritism if I didn’t follow through.” Mulder already didn’t like where this was going and beckoned for him to continue. “Agent Scully’s been suspended for two days as a disciplinary punishment.”

Mulder felt his jaw drop to the floor. Scully, Miss by-the-book, suspended? “W-was it because she apparently punched that guy? Knowing Scully, he would have had it coming,” he proclaimed in shock.

“He did deserve it, but it doesn’t change the fact that Scully punched a non-threatening, fellow agent,” Skinner replied. Mulder could tell Skinner was not enjoying this at all. He’s always had a soft spot for her which is why Mulder was so confused by all this.

“Non-threatening? Why, because he said so and Scully didn’t have any battle wounds? His face is your irrefutable evidence? You know as well as I do, Scully hides any weakness. What if that guy was harassing her? He’s twice her size, what if he was pinning her or cornering her against a wall? She’s a female in a male dominated field, she wouldn’t want that to get out. People would jus-” he was going to continue but Skinner started waving her hands.

“Mulder, I appreciate this and agree with you, but that’s not my evidence. We have her attacking him on tape. He was standing two feet away from her,” Skinner sighed.

“That still doesn’t mean anything. He could have been threatening her.”

“There’s audio to the footage. He wasn’t threatening her.” Skinner was clearly uncomfortable with where the conversation was headed, and Mulder’s confusion was just continuing to grow.

“Well then, what was so bad that she lashed out. You know, Scully’s not like that. It had to have been bad.” He watched Skinner roll his chair to adjust the VCR.

“That’s actually why I called you in,” he said over his shoulder. “I would have just called to tell you if I just suspended her. It’s not my place to explain agent’s disciplinary punishments to their partners, regardless of how close they are,” The last part was said with the same suggestive intonation that their partnership always seemed to warrant. “This situation just so happened to involve you, and I know you’d find out eventually.” Skinner pressed play before Mulder could ask any more questions and Mulder’s eyes were drawn to the black and white security footage.

The footage was from a second floor hallway, where Scully’s actual, completely ignored, office was. She mentioned yesterday evening that she had a pencil sharpener in there that she could bring down since he broke theirs. She was getting out her keys when a voice called out, “Hey, Mrs. Spooky!” Even from the footage, Scully’s eye roll was visible as she turned to look at Agent Thomas, who was walking down the hall with a bunch of other agents, some of which were the loiterers from before.

“Agent Scully or Doctor Scully, those are your two options, Agent Thomas,” she snapped. God, he was happy she never used that tone on him.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend. So, why do we get the honor of your presence this morning? Did Mulder let you off your leash?” Mulder felt the veins in his forehead pop out a bit from the man’s condescending tone.

“Excuse me?” she seethed, forgetting about unlocking her door to fully engage with him.

“Oh come on, you both are attached at the hip, and I’m sure more places than that,” he laughed crudely, amusing all but one of the people around him.

“We’re partners, and I don’t appreciate your lewdness.” Her lips were pursed and her eyes were narrowed, Mulder knew that was a bad sign, but apparently the men on the tape were too stupid to pick up on the signal.

“That’s a lot of dedication between partners, if ya know what I mean,” he egged on.

“No, I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean.”

“I lost my puppy when I was twelve, I think maybe Chupacabra ate him. Do you wanna waste your life trying to help me track him down?” Mulder’s stomach plummeted at the implications of the man’s words. He didn’t know if it was a coincidence, or if he was referencing Samantha. He saw Skinner shift in his seat and glance at Mulder as Scully had the same thought.

“I’m not going to talk to you if you’re going to be disrespectful, to me or Agent Mulder,” Scully threatened. On the video, you could clearly see Scully clenching her fists at her sides. Being the man wasn’t hit yet, he knew it must get worse.

“I’m just concerned for your safety, you’re just such a pretty little thing,” he defended with mock sincerity as his eyes roamed her body.

“I don’t need your concern.” In all seven years of working with Scully, she had never sounded so done with him as she did to Agent Thomas right now.

“I wouldn’t be so sure. He only kept his sister safe for what, eight years? You’re going to be approaching that soon won’t you? After all, how many months in total do you think you’ve been missing since st-” Scully just took a few steps forward and, naive to her ferocity, the men didn’t perceive her as a threat. Not even when she cocked her fist back and punched him hard in the face. Mulder didn’t need to question if his nose was broken anymore, the crack was audible on the tape.

It didn’t stop there, Scully angled her head up as he held a hand to his nose and she growled, “If I ever hear you mention his sister, or if I ever hear you talk about him like that again, you will regret it.” Never in his entire life had Mulder seen Scully as feral as in this clip. While he was embarrassed at the man’s words, he was overwhelmed by her fierce demonstration of loyalty.

“You fucking bitch,” the man cried. He let go of his nose for one second to strike her across the collarbone, the impact sending her body crashing into the wall. Mulder’s blood was racing at the sight, afraid of how far this was going to go, but the footage showed passerbys intervening immediately.

Skinner stopped the tape and swiveled his chair back to Mulder, anticipating a loud reaction. “Sir, he was obviously badgering her!”

“It bothers me, Mulder. Don’t think it doesn’t, but I can’t let her off simply because I like her. I could get in serious trouble. Look, he was being antagonizing, but she was the one who instigated violence, she also threatened him, and caused real physical damage. He wanted something worse, but I reamed him out and she got off with two days suspension with pay. I’m going to keep it off her record, it’s more for show. In actuality, it’s just a forced vacation in disguise,” Skinner explained.

Mulder nodded, accepting what was being said even if it still bothered him. “What about him? He shoved her against the wall.”

“Three days without pay and I told him he’d be severely reprimanded if he continued to speak derogatorily about his peers. Apparently, a few of them were messing around with the I.T. guys and were going through agent files, yours was one of the ones opened. That’s why he knew-that’s why he was so detailed. I just didn’t want you to think-” he started rambling. Mulder had always respected Skinner, but this was just solidifying it. He always had their backs and he was always looking out for them.

Mulder interrupted him as he struggled to find footing on sensitive ground. “Thank you, sir. I really appreciate all you did.”

Skinner nodded at his words, replying softly, “Don’t mention it.” He snapped back into his professional persona as quickly as he had fallen out of it, speaking back at a loud volume, “I’m serious, don’t mention it. This day was a headache to say the least. The sooner I can forget it, the better.”

Mulder smiled appreciatively and got up from his chair. As his hand reached the knob he turned back around, “Sir?” Skinner looked up in acknowledgement, “How did Scully take all this?” The memory of her apologizing and dismissing him came back, and his worry along with it.

“She seemed upset. Not at the punishment, that she accepted like the professional she is. I honestly think she was upset that this was being made such a big deal and that there wouldn’t be a way to hide it from you.” Skinner replied as he sorted through files on his desk.

Mulder nodded and left the room without another word. Initially he assumed it was because Scully was embarrassed she lost her temper, but it quickly dawned on him that she was probably upset that he’d end up hearing and believing Agent Thomas’ words.

Speak of the devil.

As Mulder left the office area, he ran into the man in question. “Then out of nowhere, the bitch went hysterical-” Mulder didn’t hear the rest. He didn’t need to. He closed the distance between them, extending his hand back at the same time before landing a solid punch to Agent Thomas’ face, landing on, what used to be, his good side. He wasn’t lying about punching the next person to call her a bitch.

Instead of the loud jeers and aggression he was expecting, everyone was dead silent, except for the resonance of the impact and the dips of blood falling on the floor. The stillness made Skinner’s voice behind him all the more alarming. “Agent Mulder, my office now. ”

He followed behind without any regrets dampening his stride, the sounds of disgruntled men not nearly as loud as his powerful footsteps hitting the linoleum. He closed the door he had opened not only two minutes ago and attempted a joke, “Well, I didn’t mention it, per se.”

Skinner looked at him, slight amusement hiding behind the mask of authority. “Two days suspension, with pay, but don’t think you both can go around punching people and get a vacation out of it. This is a one time situation, you picked the right person to punch and you needed the vacation time anyway. Honestly you cleared up my schedule this week, I was going to have to meet with you both about your expiring vacation time and I needed to reprimand him for his behavior.” Mulder just stood in shock at the light slap on the wrist he just got which prompted Skinner to continue. “Enjoy yourself, both of you deserve to have time off. Do whatever it is that you guys do together and come back with the boxing gloves off.”

When Skinner mentioned them spending time together, he had that same suggestive tone in his voice everyone got when they mentioned Scully and his relationship; prompting a reaction to a question with an unsatisfying answer. Mulder chose to pretend like he didn’t hear it, and just appreciated the man’s kindness. “Thank you, seriously.”

Skinner half smirked at him before muttering, “Get out of here. I mean it this time, I don’t wanna see you for the next two days.”

Taking his advice, Mulder left, grabbed some files out of the office, and drive home. It took him longer than normal though because he was constantly debating on whether or not to go to Scully’s. He assumed she was probably there, but with every idea he had that prompted him to go, there was another that directed him back home. He was afraid that she was upset she, yet again, put her career on the line for him, but he knew she’d tell him she was responsible for her own choices and not to think about it like that. He was worried she was mad at herself and would be mad at him by association, she was rarely mad at him so it made him uncomfortable when she was. He didn’t know what to do, so he just pulled up to his apartment after driving in the rain for a few hours.

He decided he’d give her a few more hours of peace before calling her, so he went to the bathroom, changed into a t-shirt and running shorts, and sat down on the couch to watch some TV. The bright red lights below it flashed 5:45pm, about the time he got home on a normal work day, he noted with slight dejection. This two day suspension really took away from the only time he actually got to spend with Scully.

As soon as he reached for the remote, a hurried knock rapt on his door. He stood up and walked over, only to see a tuft of red peeking through the peephole. He opened the door and was met with a soaking wet Scully in her exercise clothes. She looked as surprised to see him as he must have to her. “Oh, I didn’t know if you’d be home yet.”

He quickly ushered her inside and ran to the bathroom to get towels while calling out to her, “Scully, you’re drenched, did you walk here?”

He bounded down the hallway to see her still standing where he left her, looking like a drowned rat, a cute drowned rat, but a drowned rat nonetheless. There was a small puddle growing around her feet and droplets were falling from the ends of her hair. “No, I was going for a run to clear my mind and I wanted to swing by.” She didn’t say anything as he unfolded the towel and wrapped it around her, engulfing her in the worn terrycloth. He rubbed down her arms and her hair through the towel as she just stood there. Her face was set in determination and Mulder was curious what she was stewing about.

“What were you trying to clear it of?” he asked, as he moved to the kitchen to make them some coffee, happy when he heard her feet padding behind him.

“Did Skinner tell you why I wasn’t at the office today?” she asked.

“Yeah, he showed me,” he replied, letting the coffee maker brew behind him.

She put her head in her hands before looking back up at him with a flustered, contrite expression, one he’d never seen her wear before, “Mulder, I am so sorry.”

He exhaled a laugh with no humor behind it and asked, “W-why? Scully, you have no reason to-”

“Yes, Mulder I do. I feel like I embarrassed you,” she interrupted. Her voice quivered a little bit and he realized she was genuinely upset by this.

“I don’t understand how you could even think that,” he reassured, moving a bit closer to her.

“I shouldn’t have reacted that way. Now everyone’s talking about it and I know you’re private as far as that information is concerned and now I’m afraid I’ve caused you more harm than good. I just got so angry when I heard them talking about you like that, about stuff they know nothing about. I just spend so much time with you that it irritates me to hear people question how great of an agent you are, and-” he cut her off by cupping her face in his hands and making her take a second to look at him and breathe.

When he could tell she was focused on him, he spoke slowly, “Scully, what you did for me today was one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. I’m not being hyperbolic either. No one has ever stood up for me like that. Please don’t beat yourself up over something that meant the world to me,” he implored.

She smiled lightly, seeming to accept his words as she looked away, darting her eyes to the coffee that was ready as a way to break the air of pleasant tension they always seemed to unintentionally create and avoid with much-too practiced ease. He took the queue and let her go, moving to pour their cups. It dawned on him that he hadn’t yet told her about his suspension, and he decided he might as well confess along with her. “It’s actually funny, I was thinking of calling you to apologize because I was afraid I had embarrassed you,” he laughed as he passed the mug to her.

“Why?” she repeated with her eyebrow cocked.

“I took a note from your book on how to handle those that talk ill of my partner.”

She paused a moment, just staring at him and deciphering his meaning. He didn’t miss the upward quirk of her lip before she asked, “Who did you hit?”

“Agent Thomas,” he replied as she took a drink from her mug.

Her eyes widened and she let out a surprised laugh, “Agent Thomas? What did he say now?”

“I think he was retelling the story of what you did.”

She blushed a bit at the reminder of her actions, but didn’t reveal anything beyond that. “You think?”

He chuckled shyly as he watched her rub the towel over her head again to try and dry her hair more. “Well, I didn’t really hear anything beyond him calling you a bitch.”

An incredulous laugh escaped her lip as she exclaimed, “You hit him just because he called me a bitch?”

“Of course I did,” he shrugged.

“Mulder, if you punched everyone at that building who’s called me a bitch, your fist would break,” she explained with slight self-deprecation.

“I know a good doctor,” he quipped with a wink, pleased with the smile it elicited.

She rolled her eyes playfully and moved to sit down on the couch, placing her towel under her. He followed her and sat next to her, taking in her damp form. As of late, she’d hung out over at his place more than just occasionally. He now got to see her in more than just business casual clothes or a rare pyjama, he finally was getting to see what leisure-Scully looked like. However, this was the first time he’d ever seen something like this. She obviously had been going on a run and was wearing her exercise clothes which consisted of running tights and a tight tank top. He didn’t mean to stare, but from the two pebbles on her chest, she wasn’t wearing a bra. Her face was slightly flushed from her excursion and the remaining wetness of her hair would drip onto her skin and trail down until they disappeared into the valley of her chest. She looked gorgeous.

He was happy that she could just come into his apartment nowadays and act like she was at home. She even kept some food at his place for when they had movie marathons because she claimed he ate ‘nothing but junk.’ They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments before she set down her mug to softly say, “Thank you, Mulder. I really appreciate you defending me. It’s-sweet, and I’ve never really had someone do that for me before.”

Mulder looked over at her and noticed she looked almost shy. They were so close on the couch that he was able to nudge her with his elbow to make her look at him. “I’m the one who should be thanking you. Defending my honor and my sister in the middle of the Hoover Building, punching a man twice your size, and then threatening him. Gotta say, it was as moving as it was hot.” He mentally slapped himself for not being able to have a serious moment without throwing in a flippant comment or joke, but she smiled at him and then it didn’t matter anymore

“What can I say? I guess I’m a little territorial,” she laughed. He loved the idea that she was as territorial and protective of him as he was her. He took a chance and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her in a side hug and pressing a kiss to her temple. He pulled his head back and turned it, only to feel her press a kiss to his cheek.

He turned to look at her and saw nervous excitement and anxiety in her eyes. Neither of them had really pulled back and, looking face to face, they were only a few inches apart. His arm was still around her and their sides were flush. Her eyes kept boring into his, as if silently asking if this was going to be the night they went farther as he sat there thinking the same thing. He caught her eyes flitting down to his lips, and she unconsciously licked her bottom lip. His heart was hammering in his chest, but he figured it was inevitable at this point.

He leaned closer, gaining confidence when he felt her moving closer to him as well, and he pressed his mouth to hers. The sensations of actually having Scully kiss him were indescribable. He always knew it would be great, but he should have suspected Scully would be as efficient at this as she was in every other aspect of her life. To say she was a good kisser didn’t do it justice. Scully bared her soul with her lips. She was so passionate and loving. Her lips were tender and soft under his own.

Their tongues ran over each others like two friends meeting up after years apart. One hand entangled in her wet hair and the other wrapped around her waist in an attempt to pull her closer to him. Scully, as always, helped him more than he could have hoped for, and she swung one leg over him so she was straddling him.

In his wildest dreams, he never would have expected to have Scully sitting on his lap straddling him. He also never would have anticipated the subtle way she knew how to kill him with a movement of her hips. God, there's nothing this woman couldn’t do. He ran his hands up her back and he couldn’t help but smile, inevitably breaking the kiss. “What?” she panted through kiss-swollen lips. Her dilated eyes looking at him with curiosity.

“You’re still soaking wet,” he panted back, moving his hands to her hips and doing an appreciative sweep of her torso with his eyes.

Then Scully shocked him for what felt like the fiftieth time today. A seductive smile graced her lips and she purred, “You have no idea,” and leaned her crotch so it was flush on his erection. He groaned as his head lolled back in pleasure. He could feel how hot she was through her pants and it was painfully arousing.

She utilized the moment to reach down to grab the hem of his shirt, humorously imprinted with the wet silhouette of her body, yanking it over his head. He quickly helped her, discarding the shirt to someplace that didn’t matter to him at this moment because all he could focus on was Scully ripping off her own shirt. Her areolas were a beautiful pink color and her nipples were standing at attention, like he had noticed earlier. She was still looking at him from her perch with wanton desire, but shy insecurity was threatening to peak through.

He quickly dispelled her worries by telling her the same sentence that ran through his mind and dreams on a daily basis, “You are so breathtakingly beautiful.” She smiled, revealing more pearly white teeth then he could ever remember seeing before, and he almost felt bad that he immediately covered it with a kiss, he just couldn’t help it.

The sensation of her bare breasts and torso against his own made his skin feel like it was on fire. He moved his lips off hers and kissed a trail down her neck, then her breastbone before lavishing her breasts with affection. He flicked his tongue back and forth across the nubs, eliciting small gasps and little moans from her. After intermittently doing this for a few minutes, she was squirming on his lap and had to pull him away. She got up and, much to his delirious happiness, removed her pants, underwear, and socks in one swift movement.

Dana Scully is standing naked in front of me, Dana Scully is standing naked in front of me, Dana Scully is standing naked in front of me.

He felt like his brain had short circuited, only vaguely paying attention to the fact he was disrobing his running shorts so he could match her. When his shorts were off he noticed her hungry eyes devouring every inch of his body, appreciation all over her features. It sent another shot of arousal straight through him. Even through the haze of lust, his crippling self-doubt still nagged at the back of his mind, forcing him to ask, “Scully, I just want to make sure you’re okay with this. I don’t want you to regret this.”

It must not have come out as confident as he wanted, because a comforting smile lifted one side of her lips and she stepped closer to him, cradling his jaw with her hands. “Mulder, I’m more than okay. I think you know how long we’ve been waiting for this.” He smiled at her words and she pushed him down on the same couch they had spent so many nights yearning for each other on.

She straddled him once more and the scent of her arousal wafted to him and he swore he could get drunk from the smell. He watched her as she took the utmost care and dedication to lining them up, her lashes fluttering against her cheeks as she looked down to guide him. His breath was taken away as her piercing blue eyes flitted to his as she eased herself down his shaft.

Her mouth opened as she gasped lightly. His fists were clutching the leather of the sofa, resisting the urge to plunge deep inside her. He wanted her to get accustomed to his girth and length without hurting her. After a moment, they were completely joined and he was hilt deep. She kissed him on the mouth sweetly for such an erotic moment, and they savored this moment that would be a landmark in their relationship; they were finally joined as one.

She put her hands on his shoulders and started rocking against him strongly, her breasts bouncing in his face, much to his added pleasure. She felt exquisite. She was clutching onto him with a tight grip and she was lewdly wet. He couldn’t help but feel a surge of pride knowing that he was the cause of it. Scully oozed sexuality and wore it like a second skin, watching her was more arousing than anything he’d ever seen before. Sweat was starting to bead at her hairline and her face was flushed while contorted into pure pleasure.

His hands gripped her waist to help her momentum as he thrust into her. When he slid a little on the couch she gasped and in a strangled voice whispered, “Ah, right there, right there.” He continued with a purpose and enjoyed hearing her moans become a bit more constant. He moved one hand to where they joined and circled her throbbing clit. She started thrusting herself down on him harder and harder as she started chasing her orgasm. After a particularly hard thrust, she gasped and threw her head back, screaming his name in ecstacy. He watched as she spasmed against him and he kept flicking his finger back and forth until a shaky hand reached down to grab his wrist. She was smiling at him and placed a wet kiss to his mouth before she giggled into it.

He moved her so that her back was on the couch and he was over her, resuming their previous actions. Thank god for women’s non-existent refractory period because Scully was meeting him with equal vigor, wrapping her arms around him, fingernails scraping on his back.

“I’ve wanted you for so long, Scully,” he grunted, barely coherent through the pleasure.

“I’m yours,” she moaned. Her words went straight to his cock and with each thrust he couldn’t help but chant mine, she’s mine, Scully wants me. He felt his balls tighten, but he wanted to get her off again before he did. He leaned up so he was sitting on his calves, reclined back, and he grabbed the undersides of her thighs and dragged her on top of him, raising her hips and hitting her at a perfect angle.

Her head burrowed into the couch and her hands raised to the arm of the couch to desperately cling on. He gyrated a bit to brush more against her clit and it was a success, her back arched and she cried his name like god’s once more. The visual of her and the sound of her voice send him into an overdrive, and with a few more thrusts, he was cumming deep inside her pulsating walls.

Without slipping out of her, he switched them so that he was laying on his back and she was laying on top of him. They were both breathing heavily and she was idly playing with his chest hair, occasionally kissing his chest. “That was incredible,” she sighed in contentment. After a moment she pivoted so her chin was resting on his chest and asked, “Did you get suspended too?” He nodded and she laid back down smiling.

“Now we have two whole days for repeat performances, just like Skinner implied to me as I left,” he joked.

She laughed for a second before realizing the last part, “Wait, Skinner said what?”

[lostinsantacarla]

Part two (I can’t take complete credit for this. I threw an idea at my writing partner and she ran with it, creating this part of the chapter that’s simply amazing and completely Paul)

1981

He woke up later than usual. His lady friend, one of his many friends with benefits, or in last night's case, "Make me your bitch, Paul!" had long since left for work, but not before providing him with money on the end table so he could buy some beer and cigarettes. However, he decided that using the money to score some high-quality weed from his favorite dealer sounded better.

Sure, the guy was a hunchback, walked with a lead foot, had one bug-eye, and smelled like garbage, but out of all the shady people Paul had bought pot from over the years, this guy had never steered him wrong. It was too bad the old fart was hardly around. For someone who hobbled about as he did, he was fast with his transactions and as soon as the exchange was finished, he was off like a thief in the night. Lucky for Paul, word on the street was that the weirdo was out and about tonight.

Sweet Mary Jane, here I come! His inner monologue announced as he threw on a pair of denim pants, that is, after he found them behind the bushes outside the apartment complex. He had had to run out buck naked, marathon sprinting, to retrieve them without being spotted. Talk about a wild romp of sex for his pants to get thrown out the window like that.

His look was further completed with a band shirt, seeing as one could never go wrong with Led Zeppelin, and black high tops. Then in the bathroom, in front of the mirror, he spent a good amount of time teasing his hair until it resembled a lion's mane; big, wild, and unkempt.

The girls loved his style and always gave compliments about how he looked like a rock star. His hair and his bigger than life personality had opened many doors of opportunity, which in turn led to free food, booze, and sex. He was exuberant and free spirited. Nothing and nobody could hold him back.

Once he was fixed up, the rock star was out the door with the money and made his way down the block. It was a quiet night and the sun had long since set in the horizon. The streets were lined with rundown apartment buildings and small houses, but visibility was somewhat poor since many of the streetlights had long since burned out, or were flickering their last light as he strolled beneath them. He could hear some of the bulbs buzzing and glanced up to see a couple of moths high above, fluttering around one of the dying lights. Needless to say, this part of the neighborhood wasn't the greatest, but it was an even thirty miles from Santa Carla, where the beaches and amusement park roared with life at all hours of the day and night. That was his destination, though he never complained about where he stayed in the moment, because it was a free roof over his head. It wasn't like his childhood home had been anything remotely close to resembling paradise either, but those were painful memories, pushed deep into the back of his mind. Occasionally they would pop up here and there, rearing their ugly heads, considering he was human after all.

He ventured off the main road and resorted to crossing through some dilapidated backyards, as it was a lot quicker to travel. These homes, while much smaller and closer in connection than the ones he'd passed earlier, were also abandoned with windows boarded up and walls marred with graffiti. He kept both hands in his pockets, one of which had a hold over a switchblade. It served as good protection, considering he was aware of the few guys he'd pissed off by sleeping with their girlfriends and then bragged about it later while high, and or drunk. They'd all wanted to beat the shit out of him, and they weren't shy about threatening out in the open. Fortunately, he was always one step ahead of them and like his favorite dealer, made sure never to stay in the same place for very long. Keeping off the main roads would ensure prying eyes weren't watching him.

Eventually he found himself headed towards the more industrial part of the town in search of the weirdo, where the lighting became scarce and dark alleys closed in on him. It was like he was wandering through a maze of brick walls and wooden fences, with garbage cans and discarded cargo boxes choking the walkways. Not a great place to get jumped, so he kept a steady pace and made sure to keep his eyes open.

As he prepared to go around a corner that led down a narrow channel of a one-way street, a high pitched, fearful sounding, "NO!" made him stop dead in his tracks. Instantly, he flattened against a set of steel bars over a foreign doorway, and peered around the corner with his mouth slightly parted in concern.

Just a few feet away, under the light of an abandoned two story building, he spotted a little blonde girl, probably no older than four years old, bawling her eyes out. Her cheeks were red and stained with tears. A middle-aged man with disheveled gray hair pulled back in a sloppy ponytail and wearing a white lab coat towered over the girl. He looked about ready to devour her like a hungry beast. His face was twisted and strained and he reached out to grab her with gnarled, crooked fingers. He barked at her, telling her that if she didn't stop crying any second, he was going to belt her.

"What the...?" Paul muttered under his breath. "hell is this?"

Suddenly the man had a firm grip over the back of the pink overalls the child wore, and was ready to hoist her off the ground. The kid was jerked back, and she let out a painful scream.

Normally, Paul wouldn't have given two shits about other people's problems. Aside from his drug buddies and faceless gal pals, he wasn't close enough with anyone to where he'd stick his neck out for them in a matter of life or death. The only person he looked out for at that point in time was numero uno. Yet the sight of a small, defenseless child about to be harmed by another adult brought one of those painful memories to the surface, no longer buried deep in his sub-consciousness. It reminded him all too much of his past, and of the many nights he'd been beaten black and blue by his step-dad with no one around to help him. Not even his mother, who knew what was happening, would dare lift a finger. Every time it happened, she looked the other way, afraid to interfere—not because she would get hit, but because she would lose the man's attention and he'd end up leaving her. The only way Paul was able to escape the nightmare was by staying out night after night, and only going home when he absolutely needed to. Before he turned sixteen, they kicked him out permanently after learning he had sold all his mother's precious jewelry, including her wedding ring, for quick cash. He was given the boot and ultimately his freedom.

"Fuck that," Paul hissed through clenched teeth as he sprang into action. No one had been there for him, but that didn't mean he couldn't help another little tike out. He bolted away from his hiding spot, and approached the stranger, using his arm to shove the older guy up against the wall. That in turn allowed him to yank the girl away from the weirdo's grasp, and set her down on her feet. She stumbled backwards and continued crying, but Paul ignored her as he became transfixed with the creep in front of him.

"What were you planning on doing with such a small fry, huh?" he asked, his blue eyes full of rage, yet at the same time he was somewhat... grinning? Yes, he was smiling. He liked frightening this asshole. "You don't look like nobody who would care about her. She sure as hell doesn't seem to like you."

"That is NONE of your business," the man hissed as he pushed Paul's arm away from him. "She will be property of—"

"Wrong answer!" Paul exclaimed as he stepped back, drew his switch blade, and stepped forward once more, shoving the tip dangerously close to the man's throat. "The kid wouldn't be screaming like that if she belonged to you or anybody associated with you. And 'property' you say? That ain't gonna be sitting right with the police now, is it?"

The last thing Paul wanted to do was go to the police. He'd already had more than a few run-ins with them for public intoxication, lewd behavior, and disturbing the peace. Assault and possession of a deadly weapon was not something he wanted to add to his record. Still, he wasn't about to let some asshole get away with hurting a defenseless kid. He wasn't that jaded.

The man's eyes bugged out at the sight of the weapon and he swallowed nervously, buying the bluff. He held up his hands, already breaking out into a cold sweat, and started stammering.

"A-A-All right. All right. Just… let me go. Let me go, please. I don't see why they need… need her so much anyhow. S-She doesn't look like anything special to me. I-I could always find another job at my age! I shouldn't be... be treated like this! No job is worth risking my life for!"

They? Paul raised a brow over his ramblings, but a couple things stood out to him. What kind of job was this creep into where the requirements involved wanting their employees to kidnap children? Was it some kind of secret sweat shop in China? Whatever. He moved back and closed the switch blade before sliding it back in his pocket, his eyes never wavering from the man in front of him. The girl had calmed down and was no longer crying, but squatting on the ground, her body pressed up against the building. She was whimpering and hiccupping with her back facing them. Other than looking terrified, she didn't appear hurt, much to Paul's relief.

"Now," Paul said with an upbeat expression, even though his tone betrayed the look, as it was dark and menacing. He slapped the man roughly across the chest with the back of his hand. "You aren't gonna rat on me to the police, are you? Let's face it, I know I'm a punk, but you don't look all too 'normal' yourself, bud. What's a mad scientist doing going after little girls? You some kinda pervert?"

"I am not!" the man blurted out, completely unnerved at this point. His hands trembled, and he swallowed the lump in his throat. "I don't like that sort of thing at all! And no! Can't get the police involved! I was just doing my job… I..."

In a blind panic, he was finally pushed away from Paul and broke free. Fearful for his life, his footsteps echoed across the alley until he disappeared, and silence once again took over.

Now Paul turned to the kid. He wasn't used to dealing with little ones, but he was still determined to make sure this one wasn't getting hurt by the likes of that jerk, or anyone else who could easily break her jaw. He was by no means a saint, but even he had his own code of ethics and morals.

Scratching at the faint stubble on his cheeks, he slowly approached her and carefully picked her up. She was small and weighed very little, and he couldn't help but think about his baby half-brother, as she was probably around the same age as him.

Ah, hell, stop thinking about any of that, he chided inward. You're on your own, Paulie boy. You've been on your own for a long ass time.

By the time he and the girl emerged out into the open, he saw how dark the skies had grown. He didn't wear a watch, but he noticed a small clock tower located on an island in the middle of an intersection that read the time. Not even two hours had passed since he left his friend's pad. There, in that part of town, the street lights were better maintained (as in, they worked), and not only that, but there were people walking around. Businesses were also open and operating, which meant it was a hell of a lot safer than the alleys.

He was surprised at how well behaved and quiet the girl was after saving her. She didn't even know him, but already showed trust in him as if she could read him. Either that or she was just scared out of her wits. The trust factor became more apparent, however, when she leaned against his chest. She was content, sucking her thumb while her eyelids drooped. The problem for Paul was that he wasn't sure where to go from there, so he sat down on the curb and gently placed her down beside him.

He tipped his chin and stared at his shoes, noticing a hole was starting to form near the toe, but the small girl didn't want to detach herself from his side, and ended up resting her small frame against his arm.

Crap, he'd suddenly become an unofficial babysitter for her.

Long as she isn't wailing like she was, I can deal with this, I think.

He rested his arms across his knees and cracked his knuckles as he stared across the street at nothing while his thoughts rolled around. What did that perv say about her being property? Total sicko. People got their rocks off in the nastiest ways. Just hope I didn't miss my dealer by playing hero...

"Serenity? Oh my god, there she is! Serenity!"

Glancing in the direction of the frantic voice, Paul spotted a desperate looking elderly couple hurrying over to where the two of them sat. Their eyes were not focused on him but what was next to him: the kid. No, not kid, Serenity.

Serenity was her name.

Pffft. As if he would retain that information for much longer after he killed his brain cells with some prime weed. Question was, were they just more weirdos coming after her? Just decked out in clever disguises rather than the mad scientist get up? What was so special about her anyway?

Fortunately, unlike with the first guy, Serenity did respond positively to the sound of the elderly female's voice by calling out, "Grandma...!"

She rubbed her eyes with her tiny fists and yawned.

Paul figured he would be tired too after getting kidnapped and harassed by some douchebag, if he were her age.

Not wanting to startle her any more, he collected her into his arms and got to his feet. By that point, the couple was upon them and the woman's arms were outstretched. With a shrug, he automatically surrendered Serenity over to her.

About damn time, he thought as the grandmother cradled Serenity close to her chest and kissed her face affectionately. Serenity responded by cuddling closer to her relative, but she did offer Paul one last look, as if silently wondering if he'd still be around later.

"Thank you so much," the elderly man said as he stood alongside his wife, looking very tired but relieved. The dude was sweating. He had to have been running around like a chicken with its head cut off looking for his granddaughter. He held out a thin hand for Paul to shake. "We don't know how we can ever repay you! We were about to call the police!"

Paul snorted and shoved both of his hands inside his pockets. "Keep a better eye on short stuff there," he admonished rather rudely. "Lil' missy may not be so lucky next time."

Without waiting for a response, he took off in the opposite direction, determined to get back to his own personal affairs. If he ended up meeting with his dealer, soon enough he'd be so damn high that he wouldn't have any memories of playing the hero in the first place.

Little Serenity was young enough to where she wouldn't remember almost being kidnapped. She'd be back to watching Sesame Street and Mister Rogers.

Sides, it's not like I'll ever see her again…

(If you’d like to check out her back story for Paul, you can find it here.)

[thunder-birb]

The 5 times Tamaki accidentally confessed to Mirio and the one time he didn’t have to

Mini Series Part III

3.

I clutch the white envelope tightly in my hands, trying to think of anything else, but the red UA wax seal beckoning me to rip the thing open and see what it says. Mirio and I promised we would open it together, but Mirio also told his dad he would wait until he comes home from work. So, here I am pacing back and forth in my room, trying to hold on to the part of me that is refusing to freak out.

But let’s be honest, I’m never really good at that and after countless of hours practicing in my room, Mirio’s room, Mirio’s living room, the park, Mirio dad’s room, the gym after school and even at the Ramen stall- you get my point, the pressure just builds up that even my regular breathing exercises aren’t working anymore. So, I throw the envelope on the floor and crash face first on my bed. I stay there not trying to think of anything at all, but okay maybe just one thing--memory of my parents taking my oneechan, Mirio and I to a butterfly sanctuary.

My sister was actually the one who loved them to death--well that was until I saw them, as they fluttered about and chased the patches of sunlight that reflected from the diamond shaped glass of the translucent ceiling above us. It was spellbinding to watch how they lifted off a flower’s petals and spread their wings for take off. Their wings looked unreal and moved with a grace of elegance that I wished I had an ounce of.

It was unlike any time I visited conservatories or zoos with my family and the best part was when one of them even stopped to rest on my shoulder. It was black and purple and had yellow dots aligned at the edge of its wings. I only realized it was  sitting on me because Mirio happily snapped a picture on his phone and saved it as my profile photo.

The little one stayed with me for half of our journey around the glass house until it decided to plop for a minute on Mirio’s hair probably thought it was some variation of the sunlight like a couple of the butterflies did and then, it went on its merry way up the various flowers that encircled the stone pathways.

I also took a couple of shots on my phone and one of favorites was when a bunch of the butterflies hovered around Mirio and my sister as they merrily spun around them. It was blurry and out of focus, but that smile was there and I wish we were there now, so--

The affable sound of a seasoned guitarist plucking note after note to announce the arrival of the sun resonates in my room and my phone lights up from my computer desk. I let the first verse play out somehow finding solace in the soothing familiarity of the song and then, slowly make my way over there.

It’s crazy because just a minute ago, I was dying to know what the letter would say, but now that I am actually about to open it, I can’t imagine reading what it says inside. The unbearable wait has turned on me and now I don’t want to know at all. Yet, I pick up the call anyway because Mirio’s smiling face with the amiable butterflies is on my phone screen and I really need to talk to someone before I drive myself insane, favorably him.

“Oh good you answered! I was starting to worry and thought all the waiting around was gonna drive you mad…no offense” he adds careful and I almost laugh because he totally guessed that right.

“Too late, but now that you’re calling I actually don’t want to know and have decided to just live in my room until I die” l lean back on my black desk chair and tilt my head up to stare off at my glow in the dark solar system set plastered across my ceiling. Mirio thinks it will help distract me when I can’t sleep at night.

“Tamaki~” Mirio has this teasing way of calling my name, which I have no idea where it comes from or why he suddenly uses it, but it disarms me right away and I groan at him because I can never properly speak afterwards. “We made a promise and I would never let you rot in your room when you could be going to hero class with me” Mirio replies in such a way that I can picture him winking at me, all cool and sanguine because he���s just never been a downbeat kind of guy.

“Do I have to?” I cringe at how small my voice comes out, but even after all these years of knowing me, Mirio never sees it as a weakness. He thinks I’m brave for always speaking my mind when I’m with him, disregarding the fact that he’s really the valiant one for doing so in front of everyone.

“Well technically no. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. And I can wait. I don’t think I could cross this milestone without you” he replies back and honestly what do you even say to that? It’s not that he is intentionally manipulating me to open the letter because Mirio is not an unscrupulous sort. Far from it actually because he genuinely means every nice damn word he says and it’s absolutely maddening. But is also why everyone likes him.

“No, you’re right. I would never even have the guts to go after my goal of becoming a hero if you weren’t there believing in me every step of the way, so yeah. I guess I’m as ready as I’ll ever be” I say with my right hand clutching my shirt right above my heart, feeling it beat wild with resolution.

“And there you go proving just how fearless you truly are! Tamaki you’re courageous in your own way and let’s get to ripping this envelope up before you change your mind!” he laughs and I chuckle along with him because he’s right again. My bravery definitely has a time limit.

“Alright. Countdown?” I prepare myself and grab the envelope on the floor, shaking a little as I bend to retrieve it. I stand up, but then plop back down on the floor, deciding no matter what the letter says, it’s best to be on the floor already, then fall on my face from shock.

“You know it!” Mirio replies and I can picture him punching the air for emphasis.

“3-   2-   1-   GO!!!” We sort of scream and so does every cell in my body. I rest my phone in between my cheek and shoulder, while I tear the envelope open and nervously take out a gray circular device inside.

The thing lights up as soon as I place it on the floor and a holographic screen appears in front of me. Principal Nezu pops up with a friendly wave, paws moving left to right. My eyes travel to his projection and the green blackboard in the background.

“Hello Amajiki, Tamaki-san. As I am aware of your anxiety, I wanted to get straight to the point and congratulate you on being accepted into UA. If you look behind me we have listed your points during the Practical Exam as well as the Written Exam. You have demonstrated--” he continues to say more and even starts playing a video of my performance, but I could not hear anything past: You have been accepted into UA.

                                                        I GOT IN

                                                 I GOT IN TO UA

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH” Mirio joyously yells on the phone and I readily scream with him. “TAMAKI YOU DID IT! Man I’m so proud of you! Principal Nezu is still showing me videos, so I started listening to what he was saying to you instead, but wait-- he’s about to---Ohmygod. OHMYGOD WE’RE GOING TO UA TOGETHER TAMAKI WE’RE GONNA BE HEROES!” he rambles even louder as I hear Principal Nezu congratulate him on the other end of the line.

Then, I hear his dad yelling with us and a loud smack, followed by more screaming and an “Oh crap Dad! My phone!” I want to laugh because I’m sure Mirio’s dad has tried picking him up again, forgetting how big Mirio has gotten and they’re probably sprawled out on the floor while his phone takes a fall. But I’m so overwhelmed with my own feelings that the wet tears continuously slide across my face and goes all the way down to my hoodie. All the tension living like a parasite in my heart spills out, leaving me bare and finally free.

           I actually made it! Me. Nervous energy Tamaki... This is crazy!

It does not take long before my sister comes into my room and sees me on the floor with my face wet from tears and the phone still pressed against my cheeks. Mirio and his dad are blasting party music on the other line and I can’t find it in me to separate from their buzzing energy just yet. She hurries by my side, probably worried, but she spots the letter from UA and the holograph of Principal Nezu.

So, she grabs the circular device knowing I won’t be able to speak no matter what the result and presses the middle button for it to play all over again. It starts with Principal Nezu greeting me  and then he segways into congratulating me for my admission to UA high school. She freezes upon hearing the news, turns her head at me, eyes wide with realization and soon enough she too, is screaming and hugging me so tight it is the only thing stopping me from floating away in a happy daze.

“TAMAKI!! YOU GOT IN!!” she screams into my ear and the phone that’s keeping me connected to Mirio and his dad, eyes welling up with tears. We all continue to yell because I don’t think we know any other way to react to such good news. They’ve seen us, day after day; with me eating and manifesting as many features as I can at the same time and Mirio with all his bruises from getting his face, arms, fingers, legs, chest and various body parts stuck in walls, doors, and windows of every kind. Every failure is another push to work harder and finally we have earned our first step.

“This calls for a celebration! I am calling your parents!” Mirio’s dad yells into the phone and my sister replies for me because yeah I still can’t form proper words.

                                                        🐙🐙🐙

After more frantic screaming and tight hugging, my mother calls all of my close living relatives and proceeds to plan a party with Mirio’s dad. It’s supposed to be a “small impromptu gathering” with my family and Mirio’s family, but that doesn’t stop it from being completely embarrassing and usually I would want no part of it. Yet, having the validation that my dream is an actually possibility even with someone as anxious and meticulous as me, just feels too good that I could hardly care.

My sister hands me a flower crown she’s made for me as a surprise with a purple paper butterfly in the middle. I start crying all over again because she’s really too nice sometimes, even though I just fidget and worry all the time. I hug her in gratitude and she messes up my hair in return, while calling me a crybaby. I hug her even tighter in retaliation and help my parents prepare the table, while she pushes me away to order a bunch of food.

In exactly 45 minutes, my obachan and ojichan come over to the house, followed by my aunts, uncles and cousins. The house is so full of people, I can’t imagine Mirio’s family fitting in somehow. But that is where I am wrong because Mirio’s dad and uncles come through the door with a large cake filled with sparkling candles, bottles of sake and all accompanied by their exuberant and excessively loud singing voices making the whole place light up like the Christmas markets in the city.

The Togata’s are like the happiest people you’ll ever meet. Just picture a bunch of Mirio’s entering a room each with a big smile on their faces and a skip in their step. They give off this brightness unlike I’ve ever seen before and each room is now booming with Mirio’s rich laughter and that captivating gleam in their button eyes.

It’s almost too much for me, so I keep my hoodie on and try not to be in a room with more than one of them, despite how they all approach me and trap me in the Togata’s infamous bear hugs.

I just want to be stuck with the actual Mirio Togata, but he’s being congratulated, picked up (without much success) and kissed by his family and mine. So, it’s been really hard to talk to him alone.

My sister also hands him a flower crown with a cut out paper Sun on it and he envelopes her in a bear hug shocker to show his gratitude. She laughs, looking so tiny in Mirio’s arms and now my little cousins hovering around them want to be picked up too. Mirio chuckles at the small hands tugging at his pant leg and proceeds to pick every single one of them up. I swear my family members are suckers for the Togata’s. There’s just something about them that’s hard not to like.

Then, things get more loud as the food finally arrives. Mirio’s dad keeps handing Mirio and I shots of sake to celebrate, which is only happening in the first place because my mom is not in the room and it’s really hard to say no to Mirio’s dad. I’m also sure it has something to do with the shots he has been sliding my otosaan’s way and how it’s making him forego his trademark austere nature and start singing a song to my mom, who is actually my uncle next to him.

“To our boys! After all their hard work and endless training sessions, they’ve finally made it one step closer to their dreams! Let this be an inspiration to all of us to never give up and go beyond! Say it with me now- PLUS” Mirio’s dad raises his glass, beaming like he did when Mirio could fully phase through a wall; so proud and like nothing could be greater than watching his son live out his dreams.

“ULTRA!” we all scream and I realize then that this is just as much about our family as it is about us. So, I take the shots less suspiciously, even though by the 3rd one, I feel a sudden rush of heat on my face, my back and my ears. It’s a weird sensation, especially since it’s not caused by my overthinking. It’s also making me slightly drowsy and lighter? I don’t know, I just feel like I could probably handle another shot or two and woah does takoyaki always look so-- round???

One of my cousins call out my name and I get up before my limbs are ready, so I stumble a little bit and then a lot. But, I somehow get up the third time, the second time was a mistake, give my uncles a couple of hi-fives because one is nearly not enough and all without tripping over myself, which is a feat that feels so great, I just have to go tell my mom in the kitchen.

However, the way to the kitchen seems a lot further than I remember, but if I can make it this far in life, then I sure as hell can walk to the kitchen; is what I thought at first, but man the way there feels like I’m on a suspension bridge with my mischievous cousins jumping at the far end. I also don’t quite remember why I’m walking this way anymore, so I take a quick detour to my room, which is so much closer.

I open the door to my room, take in the darkness, except for the stars glowing above and smile, realizing this must be what I wanted all along. I make long strides to reach my bed, bumping into a couple of things along the way and just as I am about to get there, I slip on my blanket, which is somehow on my bedroom floor.

The crash is loud and I have to shake my head a couple of times to stop the dizzying waves messing with my inner ear. I press my right hand on my forehead, slowly regaining the rational part of my brain back and use my left hand to push hard against the floor, hoping to pull myself up. But, the ground feels odd and warmer than it usually is, so I open my eyes and realize that there’s actually a person there, covered in my blanket.

I blink my eyes open and close a couple of times to make sure I’m not making any of this up and surely enough, I’m right. There is a human huddled under my blanket on my bedroom floor. I slowly drag the blanket down, curious to know who could it be when I see a familiar face covered in messy blonde hair, completely dead to the conscious world.

“Mi--” He turns over to my side before I could finish and grabs a handful of my blanket. Once he finishes fully covering his chest, he stays completely still and then, begins to snore lightly. His face is flushed in a deep red, all the way down to his neck and even his ears. I can feel the heat he is radiating and somehow that brings the color back to my face, too. I crouch lower, moving my face closer to his and watch his long hair fall into place, concealing most of his left cheek and eyes.

It takes all of my control not to poke him and ask why he’s on my floor when there’s a bed right next to us or move his hair out of his face. But, he looks so peaceful and settled in, and it just seems wrong to steal the bits of sleep he can finally have after our rigorous training. Not only did we have physical exercises, but also long study sessions, which he finds hard to concentrate on.

“So...Whatcha doing over there?” I spin my head towards the door and there stands my sister with a vexatious smirk growing bigger by the second that screams evil intent and could probably cause my demise.

My face reddens and I hurriedly jerk away from Mirio, scared that my sister will comment on how close I was to his face. “Not---nothing” I muster staring hard at my fingers and pray that she will be nice and not make any ridiculous observations.

“Maji? Because it looks like you’re about to eat a snack the way you’re eyeing Togata down there. I mean who can resist those muscles, amiright? It’s like they grew overnight!” she giggles, winking at me and I crumble.

“What-- NO I-- SHUT UP! Mirio’s my friend and--” I struggle to say something cohesive and not air out the panic ensuing in my mind, but it’s evident that I’m freaking the hell out.

“Okay, okay-- Easy there. Just teasing” she comes forward, looking a little concerned- “You might wanna wipe off that drool on your face if you’re gonna convince me otherwise” she sits on my desk chair, turning it around to face me and breaks into another laughing fit, as I reflexively move my hand up.

She’s snickering louder now and I fake like I am reaching for my hoodie, so I can cover my face. Judging by the way she is still laughing at me, she clearly doesn’t buy it and I sit there feeling so stupid and small in my own room running away from a party that is actually for me. I should’ve just went to the kitchen like I initially planned. Why did I come here?!

Then, to make matters worse, the door burst open and I’m beginning to question how I could possibly hear this and not my sister come in. Mirio’s dad walks through, footsteps loud and determined and I immediately see the obvious difference between them. She’s evil and up to no good, while he’s concerned and--

“Oh heyyyyy, there they are! And woah Mirio’s passed out isn’t he?” his dad approaches us, crouches down on the floor and ruffles his son’s hair out of his face with a fond smile. “I shouldn’t have sneaked him a few drinks before getting here, but I’m just so happy for him you know?” he continues to pat Mirio’s head, settling in the spot I was in earlier before my sister decided to kill me with her words.

“He’s like- the best thing I have going for me and---oh god! Here comes the dad tears” he laughs sounding just like Mirio.

“Sorry I’m such a sap” he apologizes as his eyes well up even more and the tears start falling on his cheeks. He sniffles loud and unconcerned, then he pulls the blanket up to Mirio’s chin. “Wake him up in 10 mins okay? I think we should start heading out before I get properly hammered too” he looks at Mirio one last time before he turns and gives me a hug, too.

“So proud of you both” his eyes are still watery and he ruffles my hair, before getting up, smiling at my sister and then closing the door.

I make a move to stand up, but my sister has other plans and directs the desk chair even closer towards me. She smirks again and I know she’s going to ruin that sweet moment just by the glint in her eyes. “Yeah Tamaki, wake him up in 10 minutes after you finish tracing his muscles with your fingertips” she teases and that’s it. I cannot be blamed for this. I manifest my arms into tentacles from the takoyaki I ate earlier and lift my sister off the chair.

She screams in terror, swinging her arms and legs around that I start to lose my anger a little bit and kind of second guess this. They’re going to hear us and come in here. Then, they’re going to think she did something to me, which is why I’m torturing her. After that, they’ll start asking us questions and I really don’t want to have to explain why.

In the midst of her yelling to be free and my consciousness spiraling into a black hole of terrorizing confusing emotions, I feel the blanket hover over my feet.

“Hey guys---” Mirio slurs as he slowly opens his eyes and looks at my sister up in the air and then at me. “Am I dreaming or is your sister floating in the air? I didn’t know she had two quirks” Mirio scratches his head and tries getting up, but his knees wobble and he falls.

Without even thinking about it, my left arm-tentacles reflexively lets go of my sister and tries to catch Mirio before he hits the floor. I have a strong hold on both, but Mirio weighs nothing like my sister, so I put her down near my bed and swing my right arm-tentacles over to Mirio to keep him up.

I move my foot back to get some space between us, but trip on the freaking blanket I forgot is still there and we go down. My sister tries to save us, but it’s too late and I plummet on the floor butt first. I groan, turning on my side, so my butt isn’t pressed against the floor and curse this descend to hell. Why does something bad always happens?

I open my eyes to glare hard at my sister, finding it easy to blame her for my pain, but then big warm arms are quick to wrap around the small of my back and pull me to an even wider and cozier chest.

I freeze, mind blank and heart pounding so hard against Miro’s. I slowly look up and Mirio has the most confused look on his face like he doesn’t understand how I even got there when he is the one who pulled me in. Wrinkles are forming on his forehead; a look he only has when he’s thinking really hard, which is rare and I want to make it go away, but my body is too busy buzzing with electricity to function.

“Tamaki--” his eyes widen and I gulp forgetting my sister is still in the room and now has more ammunition to torture me with for the rest of my life. “Did you know your eyes are purple-- like a really deep purple?” he smiles like he just discovered something monumental and not a fact everyone already knows. Great. He’s still being victimized by alcohol then--what with the number of drinks his dad probably gave him before the party and then after I wouldn’t be-

“Wooooshhhh~~~ woooooshhhh~~~~” He starts playing with my hair while making those sound effects as he goes. He’s getting really carried away and my hair’s becoming more tangled up like it isn’t a mess to begin with and I groan in perpetual suffering.

“Haha! Dude your hair is so messy! You should use a comb more often” he laughs like it’s not his fault it’s in this state and my sister giggles in the background. Mirio doesn’t seem to hear her and lifts my head up, so we’re at eye level. He inspects his work further, turning my head to the left and then to the right.

“Yup, it's definitely like the bird’s nest we found at the school yard that one time” he adds and then tucks my head against the crevice of his neck, while chirping like a freaking bird. Drunk Mirio is a mess.

“Mi--Mirio please let me go” I struggle against his arms, fighting for escape. “Mirio I can’t breathe like this” I try again since his hold is only tightening, the more I try to break free.

Mirio finally loosens his embrace and I make the mistake of looking at him because now his eyes are blown wide and lips pouting into a very dejected “kicked-puppy” look. “Do you not like me anymore Tamaki? Am I too lame to be your friend, now that you got in to UA?” he asks, frown creasing deeper, which makes no sense at all since he got in too, but KOs all my ability to breathe anyway.

“Yeah Tamaki, are we not cool enough for you?” my sister chimes in and I just want to jump over there and kick her in the shin, but I can kick her any time. Mirio’s fears though have to be addressed now, even in his drunken state.

“Mirio, no that’s not--”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to hang out with me. I wouldn’t want to hinder your progress. You’re doing so well with manifesting and handling your nerves these days that I couldn’t be prouder! Meanwhile, I can’t even phase through things for long and I take so much time too! Anyone can just strike at me and bam, I’d be done for!” he laughs, but it sounds so sad and resolute that I want to kick my own shin for making him say those things or think any of that stuff is close to the truth.

“Mirio listen to me-” I grab his face and dammit his eyes are so despondent, but I gulp down my nerves and forge on.

“You’re amazing! No one I know works harder than you do and deserves to be a hero! You don’t just help others out, but you also inspire them to keep fighting! You’re the brightest star of all Mirio, that’s why you got in to UA, or why everyone likes to hang around you or why I--- why I-- um-- you’re my--- I mean you’re the sun! You light up the world” I barely make it out and panic as soon as I finish because I know Mirio is probably too drunk to notice my slip up, but my sister surely will. And she’s definitely going to make my life miserable, especially since I lifted her off the chair.

I shut my eyes, shaking from embarrassment and slowly ease myself away from him. So, I can run away and hide in the bathroom forever.

“Tamaki, you’re way too nice to me I swear! But thank you man! You’re such a good friend” Mirio hugs me tighter before I can evade him, rubbing the tip of his nose against mine and my sister is now rolling on the floor laughing like a mad woman. Man, I should’ve kicked her when I could’ve. I try to manifest my leg to retaliate, but nothing happens and the door bursts open again. Doesn’t anyone know how to knock anymore?!

“Tamaki, is Mirio awake? His dad-” my aunt pauses as she comes in, and then my mom hurries past her, leaving the door wide open.

“It’s fine now.” Mirio yells, voice suddenly very deep, which turns all of the attention towards us not that it already isn’t.

“Why you ask? Because I. AM. HEREEE!” Mirio declares as he rises from the floor, raising me up like a freaking sacrificial offering with a big smile on his goofy face. And that’s all it takes for my mom, aunt and sister to howl with laughter.

                                                      Mirio, why

This eventually catches everyone’s attention, mostly because my door is wide open and the fact that my sister and aunt are smacking the floor from laughing too hard. So naturally, everybody else starts peaking in and soon they, too double up with laughter at how drunk Mirio is.

Then, my cousin has the brilliant idea of taking out his phone and starts taking pictures of us with me still up in the air completely mortified because; for one Mirio is drunk and we might fall afreakinggain and also this may be the worst moment of my entire existence. And now there is evidence for the whole family to bring up at any inconvenient time. Awesome.

Mirio’s dad joins in too. Both in taking photos and being in the photos, as he raises his arms next to Mirio screaming “Plus Ultra.” I bury my head deep into my hoodie and slip down from Mirio’s arms when the fatigue has finally caught up to him. I quickly descend to the floor and make a mad dash to the bathroom, locking myself in and refusing to come out. Small gathering they said. It will be a nice time they said. This is the absolute worst.

Part 1 2 of 5

Part 3 is uppp! Pardon the monstrosity that is this chapter hence the read more break off, especially compared to the humble beginnings that is the first chappie. I honestly don’t know what happened. This could even be a stand alone one shot... and I have a feeling the rest might be more or less long like this one, so yay us? Also, there might be errors here and there, but I was starting to get impatient and will scrupulously edit it again later. Thanks once again and I hope you hold out for the other 3 chapters coming up soon~