#the pronouns and everything vary but THE LOOK? it's CONSISTENT

[sergle]

i don’t make the rules AT ALL, but if you mostly spend time in Gay People Spaces then you know about 28 ppl who look like this 

[catenary-chad]

Some of my Electra headcanons (exhaustively long LOL)

My mental image of Electra takes VERY heavily from irl US train context, which I largely explain here.  I very much tend to make Stex characters into reflections/parodies of real industries and politics vs some independent train society.  It’s more train Hetalia with the kid playing them acting as the government/railroad authorities.  I’m prone to sidelining or outright chucking canon out the window in favor of realism for a lot of things (especially since the real life thing is often more nuanced and interesting).  Which leads to many… almost hilariously contrarian preferences for them (though they aren’t that incompatible with canon portrayals). 

I’m actually not that consistant on how I picture many aspects of the character.  The variety of depictions in canon is part of their appeal.  But the following are things I tend to do consistantly

-I use they or he inconsistently between posts.  Honestly I see Electra as a pretty neutral character in my mind and I don’t see them as caring much about pronouns.  

-Electra was always a trial/exhibition unit and genuinely doesn’t remember life outside public scrutiny.  Basically a train child star.  Situation akin to Amtrak testing X995/X996 in the 70s or the X2000 and ICE 1 tours in the 90s.  Basically going around the country on publicity tours and trial runs (where possible- which isn’t many places beyond the Northeast Corridor).  They eventually go into regular service on the NEC and just become another one of their class, but tend to be its public “face”.

-The race depicted in canon is basically a trial of different engines.  Racing isn’t Electra’s main career (or anyone else’s), they’re just normal trains in their countries selected for the event.  Electra just works normal regional trains, downgrading to commuter trains later in life and maybe freight work depending on how sci-fi our timeline gets.  

-They have poor boundaries and social issues from not really being around other engines or working in normal situations early on.  They don’t tend to get into deep, attached relationships.  Ironically, they’re actually very outgoing (almost too bold a lot of the time) and VERY affectionate.  They endlessly crave being cuddled and held and pet, and once they feel safe around someone it goes from “please pet my head” to “you have free access to my butt now” in no time.  It generally fades with age, but they have a lot of weirdly childish tendencies (for better and worse) ala Michael Jackson for similar reasons to him. 

-Personality-wise, I tend to make Electra a lot warmer/hotter than most others.  A lot more outgoing, surprisingly approachable, and someone in constant motion, but also a lot stronger willed, pissier, erratic, and downright mean.  Mentally I always think of loud, fast, snarky northeastern transit/rail fans who shit talk EVERYTHING (but also secretly want it to get better).  Mainline electric trains in the US are just so synonymous with a string of big cities known for being loud, fast, and/or abrasive that I tend to mentally associate Electra with varying shades of their stereotypes.  

-I’m generally very sympathetic to Electra lashing out and throwing tantrums because well, they DO have a lot hanging on them and considering the pressure that would have been on them then and now, trying to look less like a backwards embarrassment to the Nationals and justify their existence to a government who could care less about them…. it’s a wonder they aren’t pelting the preservationbait choo choos with tourist railroad flyers, telling them how ugly and unglamorous the main line actually is now, and hijacking the show for an extended rant on who REALLY got wronged in US rail history.  They have their own feelings dismissed in favor of short-minded populist pleas and romantic sentiment time and time again and that can lead to them getting bottled up and exploding on people.  

-Electra actually becomes pretty reasonable to deal with when not stressed and agitated and people are working with, not against them.  They tend to be domineering and smug, but are a lot calmer and can be reasoned with if you actually have a rational conversation.  Physical touch or talking about non-transport interests are easy ways to soothe them.  They can be pretty fun to hang around if you’re like minded and can withstand their personality, they’ve seen and know a lot and can go on and on about things they care about. That and train gossip… they know so much damn train gossip from being in areas with so many connections from elsewhere and being physically in so many places.

-I lean heavily into them being a “stereotypical liberal” and being treated like one because I think it proves a lot of points about rail electrification politics in the US.  Others act like they’re whiny, entitled, and out of touch… but it’s something that really is practical, is popular almost everywhere else in the world, and USED to be pretty common in the US too.  People will make fun of them saying “civilized society is where you can walk out and buy nice rolls and pastries at any corner store!” and “we should do VAT and just pay employees to begin with instead of having tipping”.  I’m not very consistent on what basis I give them, but basically all of them are super European because there aren’t really any US-based companies making them later in the 20th century and uh, it shows.  

-Acts more like a urban transit fan than typical foamer, constantly going on about logistics, fictional subways for places like Cleveland, going on and on about the economic merit of electrifying lines, figuring out whether a Deep Level London Underground train would fit in one of Musk’s stupid car tunnels, and crying about the trolleys vs “omg big boy!”. They just do not care about the romance of steam engines or fallen flags or how luxurious 50s sleepers were, just screaming at the state of electrification and public transit in the US over the past 70+ years.  

-When compared to subways, they get REALLY offended… on behalf of the subway.  Electra is genuinely very defensive about being electric and standing with other electric trains in the US due to their history of government and corporate obstruction.  Even “low-class” public transport is closer aligned with their needs than anyone on the uncivilized unelectrified high iron out west.  They know there’s a high chance they get demoted to commuter service in New Jersey and aren’t above anything.  They’re not even hostile towards freight service- they know they’re bound to get drafted into it eventually and would be good at it, they just get pissed at how backwards the big Class I railroads are and how they perpetually get in the way of electrification and their fellow Amtrak comrades.  

-Bonus: yeah Electra will joking call anywhere not electrified “uncivilized” only half-jokingly.  Leading to hilarious declarations like calling Ohio and Texas “savage wastelands”and vigorously defending cities like Baltimore and Philadelphia.  I mean, they’re basically immobile in that 90% of the country so can you  really blame them?  

-Pretty much all trains probably hate cars to some degree but Electra REALLY hates cars.  Electra has probably been victimized by cars the most of the main cast, government investment in highways was one of the main dooms of electrification in the US, and highways were never expected to be profitable vs Amtrak.  Oh they HATE cars on every fucking level and think they are Moloch Incarnate.  Even comparing them to Moloch vs Satan is a very old anti-car messaging thing because they burn things and early car accidents disproportionately killed children.  Buses are on thin ice.  Planes are grudgingly accepted as a necessary evil but a more humanoid Electra wouldn’t fly unless there was no other option.  

-Make various whines, whimpers, chirps, hisses, screeches, and buzzes akin to actual electric trains.  They are not quiet and actually make a lot of distinctive noises.  Electra is one of those incessant hummers, which is cute at first but gets grating after a while (a lot of things about them are this way).  Their cooling fans are also fucking LOUD, especially when set in older periods.  I think most if not all the 80s-era engines I associate them with sound like vacuum cleaners.  I’m inconsistent on how cold tolerant they are, but they tend to be more vulnerable to overheating vs being too cold.  Traction motors make plenty of heat, ESPECIALLY with old dynamic brakes that basically are resistance heaters like space heaters.  

-It’s something I’m very vocal about but I have hilariously contrarian physical preferences for Electra vs… almost everyone else.  My mental default is that they’re short and very cute, but also unambiguously an adult.  MUCH denser and beefier than most picture, electric engines are not “fast but weak”, they tend to be compact and very powerful for their size (and often end up becoming mixed traffic later in life).  I wildly oscillate between Koffi Missah and 90s-era Mykal, who look wildly different other than the above two things but I love both of them visually for different reasons.  Koffi has that MJ/Prince look to him and cute boxy appearance that matches the irl AEM-7s used then.  Mykal has the soft face and curvier silhouette that resembles the generic image of more modern electric engines… even heavy freighters tend to be very smooth and “cute” vs American-style diesel ones.  There’s also the weird parallel between him having the kind of soft, smooth, flat features a ton of black guys have irl but are weirdly pretty rare in media, which matches how electric trains are everywhere but largely ignored by train media.  I tend to draw Electra the latter way more because it’s fun and I think the combo of “idealistic yet weirdly average” is super fitting.  

-“passenger geared” Electra looks more like the above, but can be “freight geared” and suddenly turn into uh, 2013-era Mykal. Not as fast but actually very capable on heavy freight service, especially on steep inclines (VERY common crossover for electric express locos irl).  Electra generally shifts more to freight service later in life.  

-Older Electra mellows out a lot and is much sweeter and gentler.  Smooth, handles the Freight like they’re all carrying eggs and fine china, very efficient and doesn’t move more than they really need to.  Still VERY firm when pushed by others, and pretty snippy and testy, but a lot calmer with a lot less pressure on them.

-Little visual things… I’m very consistent on Electra having deep brown/black eyes (though I’m equally fond of them being bigger and heavier lidded OR strongly almond shaped).  I see them as having basically no body hair and probably not much of any on their head either, not even eyebrows/eyelashes.  They actually wear falsies out of necessity and just like getting fancy with them.  Probably due to some nebulous autoimmune condition they keep under wraps.  

-Very in tune to electronic music (mostly favoring older 70s-80s era stuff), appreciates subtle differences between various synths and tones and has a very good sense of pitch.  Quickly falls into pretentious prog rock territory, they love their weird time signatures and microtonality and questionable concept albums.  But don’t you dare insult disco around them.  They might be disco’s biggest defender.  They think listening to “stupid meat and potatoes troglodyte rock” from the time is the real insult.  They also listen to a lot of weirder world music and like it the more authentic it is.  

-They downplay their interest and abilities in visual art but are genuinely really good at bold, graphic stuff and makeup. They genuinely enjoy a lot of modern abstract art most people hate and take even the most pretentious money laundering pieces at face value.  

-Electra’s kind of a snobby coastal urbanite but I tend to make them a lot more down to earth than most others.  The kind of trains they’d work on were decently nice but not really fancy (ESPECIALLY vs older passenger trains most other characters are associated with).  They’ve been weirdly sheltered due to their upbringing but are just too closely associated with regular regional and commuter trains to be fully out of touch.  They’re a lot more utilitarian in associations than steam excursions or whatever UP corporate/anachronistically pre-Amtrak passenger train Greaseball runs.  Yeah Electra assumes people know more about art or music history or public transport politics than they probably do, but they’re also the type who’ll explain that kind of stuff if you don’t and broadly support public education in general (because more educated people tend to vote for the kinds of politicians who help trains like them lol).  Kind of goes full circle where they’re seen as pretentious… but a lot of what they support is just the norm in Europe, even in countries that aren’t that rich.  

-I have a weird amount of eating-related headcanons despite them having no reason to.  So apply these to a more humanoid setting.  I think they go from noticeably hungry to weak and exhausted VERY quickly, but also get knocked out by overeating, so Electra eats smaller meals very frequently.  They also just have a sensitive stomach in general, it’s partly why they hate flying.  They have a lot of food intolerances and a system prone to upset.  Definitely lactose intolerant, doesn’t handle high fat well, probably has issues with legumes and specific vegetables and some random artificial ingredients.  Not terribly picky based on taste/texture but comes off as fussy because a lot of things will just genuinely make them sick.  It’s stuff that can be managed with home or over the counter remedies, it’s just really annoying to deal with. 

[plantislandpals]

★ || ASK BOX — OPEN

"Hello, is this thing on?—" "HIHELLOHI!!!!" "Woah, is that what humans look like?" "Um... H-hi?" "Sup!" "Well Howdy!"

Hello there traveller, it seems you've reached the home of the Plant Island Pals! Ask away! ("If you dare!")

((Plant Island Pals is an AU! Some events may differ from canon or happen in a different order))

★ || Rules

- Just don't be weird m'kay?

- Oh and also make sure to put who you're asking in the thing because I am big stupid

★ || Main Cast

((Under the cut because there's too many oopsie))

((Also since I didn't make that clear at the start, like in msm canon these guys are all Agender and use they/it pronouns))

★ Minervaa — Clamble, Plant Island

Easily recognised by their terrifyingly wide eyes and small pupils, Minervaa is notorious on Plant Island for being an absolute menace. They are an impulsive thrill seeker who seems to have no fear even in the most dangerous situations - good thing Bytee is around to make sure that they don't do anything too risky! They have a bit of a short fuse and can say mean things without meaning to but underneath all that they have a heart of gold and care deeply about the monsters in their life.

★ Bytee — Wubbox, Plant Island

In contrast with their adoptive younger sibling Minervaa, Bytee is cool, calm and collected. Ever since they were awakened by the monsters of Plant Island, they believe they owe them some kind of debt and tries to do everything they possibly can to help, with varying amounts of success. They usually don't like to do anything that would upset anyone, but sometimes they quietly encourage Minervaa's chaos.

★ Hayzel — Oaktapus, Plant Island

Hayzel and Minervaa might look completely different on paper, but these two best friends are more similar than you think. This laid-back monster is equally fearless, though they're less of a thrill seeker and more blissfully unaware of the danger around them. In fact, it seems the only monster in the entire multiverse who can make them angry is their sibling Morton. Recently, they've been trying to get Flurry to relax.

★ Flurry — Mammot, Plant Island

Flurry is a bit of a nervous wreck, well, more than a bit. The poor monster's tried every trick in the book to be more confident and assertive but nothing seems to work. If it wasn't for their friend group - consisting of Minervaa, Hayzel and Kat - they probably wouldn't leave the Castle at all. Somehow (probably from Glitch) they managed to get their paws on a book written by humans about ghosts, and now they're obsessed with the idea of finding one.

★ Kat — Rare T-Rox, Plant Island

Kat is the middle ground and mediator of their friend group: not as impulsive as Minervaa and Hayzel but not as anxious as Flurry. Though they offer advice when asked, it's common for them to just take a step back when the rest of the group starts doing something silly. It's not that they don't like the chaos; they'd just rather watch it than be a part of it. They think Wublins are, like, the coolest ever.

★ Morton — Toe Jammer, Plant Island

Morton is the annoying, smug, "I'm smarter than you and I know it" type, so it's surprising that Bytee of all monsters would form a friendship with them! Maybe they both like to think they're the only two intelligent monsters on the island. They always wear their sunglasses - even indoors or at night - and have dreams of making a found footage horror one day.

More characters may be added as the story develops!

★ || Secondary Characters

These characters won't appear as frequently, either because they don't interact with the main cast much or they aren't on Plant Island. (Also these guys don't have refs cuz I'm lazy)

★ Rosemariee — Furcorn, Whereabouts Unknown

An almost legendary figure on Plant Island, Rosemariee was a brave and friendly monster who never let their small size and weak body stop them from adventuring through the monster world. They have helped discover many new things, and is even rumoured to have been part of the original group of monsters that freed the Tribal Island Kayna! They haven't been seen in a long time, but Minervaa might have some stories to tell you about them.

[nightmarecountry]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN MEME.

NAME: currently we mostly go by Wilds on here, though I (the host) am uh... between names, ha. went through some shit this year that i'm pretty sure triggered a host change/a new host split SO.

PRONOUNS: they/them collectively. it/its too if we're friends i think. it's complicated. host also uses she/her and (rarely, these days) he/him but again... complicated...

MOST ACTIVE MUSES: i mean. the corinthian, obviously, but which Flavour of him i want to write really depends on the day... over on my multimuse it varies WILDLY and often just depends on if there's a particular plot point or theme i'm rotating in my head a bunch.

RP PET PEEVES: look if i get into that here someone's gonna snipe me from the rooftops or something for having an honest feeling in public. i don't like lack of communication (or the passive aggression that comes with it), people feeling entitled to my time/attention/replies, or anyone making me feel obligated to do anything ever tbh.

EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS: i've been RPing for like uhhh... 17-18 years at this point. jesus.

FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT: definitely angst. i like reading smut more than writing it (mostly because writing it gets stressful real fast), and i love fluff but it's gotta have substance to it. i feel like the secret fourth answer here is "depth".

PLOTS OR MEMES: hmm... it's sort of both. i honestly like ic asks most of all: not memes, but not threads either. i like having a sort of 'foundation' to work off of and going back and forth with it, but i can only really plot extensively with someone when i've gotten to know them well. i LOVE memes but i tend to need a lot of them because if you only send one there's a solid 80% chance i won't have an answer in mind KJNSDJKNSDF

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: medium i guess! i need to get comfortable doing short as hell replies again but i always worry people will take it as a lack of interest. i don't tend to do suuuper long replies because i have trouble remembering everything i've written lmfao

IDEAL TIME TO WRITE: somehow, 3-4am. i am rarely AWAKE during those hours right now but it's still just peak writing hours for me, probably due to lack of distractions.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S)?: baby i'm not even like myself. but in all seriousness, i feel like as a writer you're always gonna be putting bits and pieces of yourself into your characters - particularly for RP which is a much more uh, 'close contact' form of writing, i feel? i can separate myself very well from my characters when writing fic or other stories, but RP i feel requires you to step into their shoes a lot more often and more consistently... so yknow. anyway man i have DID you'd better believe there are pieces of lots of us in all of our characters. good luck guessing where they are (it isn't hard).

tagged by: @peacereflected but i also stole it from @ohsunshine because i'm in love with them both. hope this helps.

tagging: you. but also @spacereflected and @talentforlying and [spins a wheel] @pohlepen

[queer-starwars-bracket]

Queer Star Wars Characters (Round 1): General Bracket Match 35

SK-620 | Identity: non-binary (droid) | Media: Galactic Starcruiser

SK-620 is an astromech walk-around character in the ultimate LARPing experience sold as a luxury hotel known as the Galactic Starcruiser (set to be closed down). They are consistently referred to by cast members with they/them pronouns, although some merch (and most guests) use he/him pronouns. Secretly working for the Resistance, they are caught and captured by the First Order at the end of the first night. The main bulk of the Resistance mission during the second day, out in Galaxy’s Edge, for guests is finding things to help free SK from the restraining bolt, both because of the data they carry and for their own freedom. They are set free during the afternoon of the second day and hidden, making it the priority of the First Order to find them. Because of the improv aspect of the experience, specifics will vary. They’re a pretty standard good guy’s astromech, lacking the shear drive for chaos droids like R2 or Chopper have. If you’re a guest, you will packbond with it. So far, they’re the only non-binary character with merch.

Aytar | Identity: mlnb | Media: The High Republic Midnight Horizon

Aytar was a young acrobat for a traveling circus. He was so skilled it almost looked like he was Force sensitive. One day he met the Jedi padawan Kantam Sy when the circus visited the planet Endovar. Kantam became infatuated with Aytar, and the two began a whirlwind relationship. Kantam decided that they would leave the Order to be with Aytar, which was something the man wasn’t sure he wanted to happen. When Kantam did leave, Aytar felt terrible, not wanting the burden of Kantam having thrown away everything they ever known for him. Kantam realized they did this for themselves as they were confronted, allowing their whirlwind romance to continue. For a time, Kantam traveled with the circus, until one day they realized they wanted to explore the galaxy on their own terms.

[katyspersonal]

a 0 for izzy thank you very much

Dear GOD! I am better off not knowing how long ago I received this ask and I just happened to forget about it..

Alright, so asks are from this ( x ) meme, and number 0 stands for everything from the asks list, so this will be a long one and hiding under cut! But first I will note that past some point in her story, Izzy uses she/her and he/him interchangeably, so pronouns bouncing might occur. Also here is my recent ref of her face:

1) What would their social media page/activity be like

Hmmm, it is a complicated one, because Izzy is a rebel! The way she'd protest the nonsense in the internet might vary from exposing the scientifical/logical fallacy from the pages of people like Laurence (hello Simon's colleague!) to refusing to engage with the social media altogether since it is all only illusion of a struggle that accomplishes anything at all. Perhaps transition from the former to the latter as time goes by. However, while she's in the internet, she'd certainly troll the 'leaders' by asking rather provocative questions. "Hey, Ludwig, if your god is so benevolent, how comes they condone violence and g3nocide? ;)"

2) What animal they remind me of

She is a multitude, but my initial impression of her was a hyena for some reason... Maybe because back then she was solid in my head as a very dominant female beast. By now, her connection with the beasthood leads her to interchange with female and male (but not the same way as Marika and Radagon; in Izzy's case, that's explicitly the same person and the same name, just with biological sex slider being moved back and forth).

My recent impression of Izzy was the noodle dragon; not a real animal, of course, but what I ended up making his beast form appear like. That's as reptilian as Izzy gets though; otherwise he lived his life way more in tune of being canine/feline, with rare insect features.

3) My thoughts on their design/aesthetic alone

Bwahaha! Jokes on you, Izzy doesn't have canon appearance! xD But my first impression, in my head, was that of Izzy being an effeminate person with two braids held by silly ribbons, despite a large build that could rival Gratia's. Only that back then, I imagined her/him as a blonde, but I decided pale 'brown' hair worked better. I later learned that Izzy's name MUCH more likely is a variant of George (Jiří) that I kept checking over ( x ) ( x ) and realised is very palatable. Everything finally fell into place later; a person raised as a man and even given male name, that can now finally get in touch with the femininity she was denied! Something I feel slightly connected with, because I feel like my first stepdad corrupted my gender identity by wishing for a son and consistently trying to replace my hobbies and clothes with masculine ones (that I was very receptive of as a curious kid).

Either way, I do like how Izzy looks for now in my head. As a woman, she is very muscular and strong but with 'silly' feminine attributes like ribbons and flowers that feel almost absurd. As a man though... I don't even know, this is the only vibe I PHYSICALLY can think of:

4) Physical headcanons (sleeping habits, favourite food, all that)

Izzy tends to feel her body's needs very well and naturally gets craving for whatever elements she is lacking. Even before beasthood shenanigans, she had developed habit of listening to her body and trusting the (seemingly) irrational sensations that she doesn't remember having ever failed her. She learned to not think of it too hard. But, her diet had a LOT of berries, fruit, mushrooms and vegetables before falling for beasthood naturally shifted her cravings to more carnivorous ones. Izzy is a garbage cook though, eating almost everything as raw as it can be. That led her to having mushroom poisoning multiple times in her life, but she never ate any that was life-threatening; simply ones way better cooked.

Izzy is an extreme kind of a night owl - naturally leans towards going to bed in early morning and waking up during early evening. Naturally, social life didn't welcome it very well, so she always had problem with being irritable during the day and struggling to fall asleep during the night. Nights of the Hunt are quite natural and convenient for her.

The scars on her face have all existed before any funny hunting business and were earned by her upon wrestling with wild beasts. It is a person that would try to fight a bear with her bare hands, and there is no guarantee that the bear would win! But, she does have multiple traumas (mostly clawmarks) on her body. Her body is also rather muscular from a lot of power-lifting and fighting training. Also, she was informed that "eating onions will strengthen your teeth" and has been eating them regularly for as long as she could remember, and otherwise taking good care of her teeth, so they are all very strong and white.

5) Social headcanons (what do they think of their friends/allies if they have any, what are they looking for in relationship, what people tend to think about them...)

Izzy has a fault of pulling the 'overfamiliar rudeness' on the people she barely knows, that guaranteed her making some people uncomfortable from the very start. She has a very poor comprehension of social cues and boundaries, doesn't help that she is rather rude. Not because she tries to be mean, but rather because she is blunt and honest! And, well, what will your honesty be when most people around you are idiots? Right, it will be letting them know that they are idiots...

She is, however, opposite of my Archibald; whereas he is polite and distant with people but secretly thinks lowly of them, Izzy is rude and disrespectful with people but tends to be neutral towards them or even likes them. She doesn't seem why they'd get hostile or upset over rude by honest remarks - it is okay to be stupid! It is okay to cringe and fail! It is okay to be selfish! These are human things, and Izzy doesn't see anything wrong with exposing how much humans suck in general and have petty fights over it. Moreover, she invites anyone to insult and expose her back, she would not hold grudges as long as it is fair and accurate.

Izzy has no idea what to gain from relationship or what she wants of it, really. She experienced attraction to someone more than once, but she just doesn't know what to DO with it other than simply care about this person above everyone else, protect them above everyone else and cuddle+kiss them more than anyone else. She wondered whether something was wrong with her for not seeing difference between 'very strong and intimate friendship' and 'romance' that apparently everyone else gets; doesn't help that she experiences sexual attraction to pretty much everyone she starts to trust. She thinks that maybe 'normal' relationship is not for her and her true essence lays within strong and intimate bonds with 'allies' instead.

However, Izzy is the most attracted to the 'contrast' for the lack of better term. She most likes either strong people that could kick her ass, or small and frail people she'd have to protect.

On a more complicated note, Izzy does avoid having strong and lasting friendship bonds, because he is the type to show his love and devotion by tearing one's enemy apart in the most gory way possible. But what if this 'enemy' is someone who simply needs another perspective and guidance towards what they missed? Devotion blinds Izzy's reasoning, which is inconvenient because he is as much a smart person as he is a strong one; so, he tries to keep his friendships a little shallow.

Izzy loves picking up every 'psychological test' she is offered, even if the tester doesn't feel very qualified. Whether it is an offering to draw something and be interpreted according to it, or some charlatan offering to read her soul with the cards, Izzy liked things like this. It comes from deep yearning for people who try to understand her, as opposed to turning her into what they WANT her to be... Even if it might be a fake action.

6) Psychological headcanons (tastes, fears, talents, regrets, how they deal with anger, just anything that comes to mind on the topic)

Many people would expect Izzy to be somewhat stupid and irrational because of how she behaves in society and her temperament, but that can't be further from truth! Izzy is quite open-minded, curious, flexible and even immune to manipulation. Even something she holds the most sacred and dear - if it is objectively not valid, she is willing to know the ugly truth about it! This mindset led her to be an easy target for the influence of Fauna the Great One beast - aside of devotion to her loved ones, Izzy holds nothing sacred or unquestionable, so to be the first to question the importance of humanity itself was only natural. I think there is a great courage in being willing to question even the most solid dogmas, though.

Izzy does like dark green color and flower/butterflies aesthetic, which he later found weird, considering his spiritual connection to Fauna. He believes all along it was a bittersweet reminder that was brought by the fate itself - like how even wolves like Fauna howl at the moon. He could write a beautiful poetry about it.

Izzy is scared of insanity, although many people in his surrounding would've considered it ironic in their disdain to his eventual beliefs. But people like Logarius or Alfred would make him feel cold in fear and disbelief. Although committing to beasthood as the new future of the mortals in the end, Izzy is still acting rational in his own animalistic way; but it is people who act without reason, without even very primordial logic who make him feel threatened. He will always try to identify motivation and reasoning of the person, even as a beast, and if he fails to do so, fear will settle in his heart.

When Izzy was able to break ties with her small family and joined the hunters, she enjoyed it quite a lot. She felt as though she could finally be herself - unapologetically, freely. She had a period of admiring cute things like ribbons, frills, beads, glitter and flowers. However, her violent and hostile upbringing took over, and she was ready to be one of the most eager hunters very soon. Until... well, you know. She feels regretful about having never been able to tell her father what exactly she thought of him, however! The bastard died just when she built enough of a character, and she will carry unsaid grudges within herself for god knows how long!

It is hard to predict Izzy's behaviour under the weight of anger, since his anger can be both cold and wicked, or hot and dangerous. But it will be a dangerous, merciless ordeal in either way, so if someone incurred his wrath, they better ask forgiveness. Izzy is, however, extremely forgiving and understanding, since for him humans doing horrible actions is a natural result of their nature. It is not 'being bad' that is bad; it is 'being bad' in the WRONG way that is bad!

7) Ship(s) with them that I like or at least consider

Izzy x Afflicted Beggar: I think Izzy would be the first (and maybe the only) person to not fear Garlan's strange inherited 'second nature'. Encourage him as a special person, even. That Garlan would've appreciated a lot, having to fear himself his whole life and wondering whether he should off himself for the sake of everyone. I like to imagine Izzy training him to control his transformation into a beast and back and 'eating rationally', and allowing him to fight her with teeth and claws when beastly urges get too much. Garlan would've never been able to live down the emptiness in his heart if they really had something intimate going and then Izzy just disappeared, he'd feel like he'd lost his one true shot of real love forever.

Izzy x Ludwig: They are enemies, as tomb prospecting hunters that discovered the kinship with the antagonistic Great Ones who could never get along and their mutual hostility rules the world. They hate each other, but at the same time wish each other to "come to their senses" and join another's side. I sometimes have mental image of them crying together and yelling at each other - Izzy saying she doesn't want to see him turning into a mindless marionette of the corrupt Moon Presence, and Ludwig saying he doesn't want to see him becoming an abomination to what humanity entails. They are both unaware that their respective Great Ones are both puppeteers convincing them that the opposing side is the 'evil' one, but I think it'd be really bittersweet if they could see each other among all this madness. Never had a place in the canon, though.

Izzy x Valtr: Doomed ship, do not take as real ship in any way. Based on Izzy having "joined" the League because she realised that Valtr knows some secret about the very nature of humanity that she doesn't. But, during her stay, she might have tried to flirt with him.

Izzy x Maria: Izzy of course started off as an Old Hunter of Gehrman's type, not as a hunter of the type that started with Ludwig and the Healing Church. So, back then, Izzy, Gratia and Maria were the only hunters of the type. But Izzy would surprisingly develop much more affection towards Maria than towards some other Old Hunter, fascinated by her complexity, combination of strength and wits, combination of masculinity and femininity. It is both seeing a kindred spirit in Maria and still wanting to get to know what is unique about her that would fascinate Izzy. To think of it, I guess Izzy's attraction had place in 'official' timeline; but Maria was opposing beasthood like a normal hunter is supposed to, so it was doomed.

8) Made-up connections with other characters that weren't in the canon (friends, enemies, whatever)

Ludwig - Like I said, they ended up being marionettes of the antagonistic Great Ones. Well... Izzy is less so of a marionette; Fauna suggests freedom. But that still brought her to care about her beloathed. Izzy thinks he is a complete idiot, but not an idiot by his fault, and hopes to one day see him admitting corrupt and through and through unfair governance of the Moon Presence. She just sees he is not a bad man in the slightest, and simply got tempted by the goals and ideals that can never be fulfilled.

Laurence - Now, THIS man she doesn't pity or root for the same way as Ludwig. Izzy can grasp that Laurence is aware what game he is playing and what God he is making deals with. Therefore, she feels anger and disdain towards him, ready to hold him accountable for everything. Izzy thinks he is a goddamn idiot that never could listen for a good advice and can only be FORCED to act right.... well, she is right, I guess...

Micolash - Izzy positively doesn't understand the guy... Well, until he can see that Micolash, likewise, has a link with a Great One who knows things way beyond normal human realm and what's sacred or cursed for them. Izzy finds strange solidarity with him despite having a slight respectful fear towards him (seeing what he does with animals was enough). Although 'where there is no sea, is dwelling of beasts', Kos and Fauna are nonetheless the deities antagonistic to the order of the Moon Presence, even if in different ways. Izzy does value Micolash as his own person though, he thinks Micolash is a powerful and independent spirit that will shape history likewise... It is just that rather than feeling true allyship, they are connected only on the virtue of 'enemy of my enemy is my friend'. Micolash doesn't feel the same, though - he has a great disdain towards "beastly idiocy". However, Izzy he finds a great aid; a great guardian, even, so he is willing to tolerate him.

Archibald - Ah, yeeeeah, this one. It is not canon, despite how obvious connection of the two people studying Darkbeasts should be xD I just think they could find a lot in common, and even both meet in Yahar'gul as fellow people denying Healing Church's restrictions. Who would spit on every "sacred" rule just to continue the one thing TRULY sacred for them - the research. Archibald finds Izzy's ways a bit extreme though, believing that beasthood is a useful thing to conquer, rather than the answer for humanity's troubles. As result, they have debates often, and Izzy at times accuses him of being a 'coward' that is not willing to abandon the subtle comfort of civilisation for the true knowledge. They are still of very respectable opinion of each other nonetheless, and are true friends.

Fauna - At some point, Izzy was nearly banished to never return from the dungeons for her revolutionary opinions and questions. Healing Church feared the apostates, and feared that they'd sabotage their progress before they could find a way to make everything work. But she found her way in Loran ruins, and had heart and mind open enough to comprehend the message of freedom and true light Fauna was trying to deliver. Long slaughtered by the hero that first forged Holy Moonlight Sword, Fauna lived on only in spirit, and found comfort in being able to continue his ideas through Izzy. She was the only one able to hear his calling in a while and not reject it. Izzy respects Fauna greatly, and can see clearly that out of the two antagonistic Great Ones, not he was the bad guy; he was willing to bring humanity the light of bolt and fire that lets them seek their own way, as opposed to the light of stars and moon, that had its own way planned for every mortal. Fauna, however, sees himself as the 'true' God and as the one worthy to be above Flora and beyond; therefore, trusting him is a risky activity as well. Besides, Fauna suggests the law of survival of the fittest; although one has a freedom, they simply become food for the stronger ones if they are not strong enough to hold this freedom. Izzy simply happens to see more reasoning in his plans for humanity, though.

Henryk, Garlan and Zacharia - Garlan is my name for Afflicted Beggar, yeah! Zacharia is the father of both Henryk and Garlan, the NPC in Bloodborne that has 'Night of celebration!' voice line. Like I said before, Izzy would be the one to accept Garlan for who he is and to help him to train his transformation and impulses. But, she would also strike a great friendship with Zacharia! Henryk, though... Yeah, he always resented how tainted his family was, and thanked every god he believed in that he came out 'clean' from Loran lineage. But he hated himself for not being able to protect Valtr from her sneaky plan, and probably hates himself for it even in death.

Valtr - Izzy noticed he knew something that she didn't, watching him extracting something she could not see from the bodies of his fallen foes and laughing maniacally. So, she used all her actor/actress skills to act on his good side, so she was able to learn his unique rune and see his idea of humans' evil. It was a giant breakthrough for her comprehending the very nature of humanity, and instead of killing Vermin, Izzy started to study it. Albeit limited perspective, but Valtr's vision was good enough, and Izzy forever developed centipede tendrils and legs.

Yamamura - They only met when Izzy completed his transformation into a beast. The storm-bringing beast Izzy, who was a noodle dragon eager to spread will of Fauna across the world via his spark magic. Upon complete transformation, his goal was the faraway land. Izzy managed to place the seed of confusion and detraction in Yamamura's land, but he still killed many people and destroyed many villages. That Yamamura could not forgive, so he chased him for a long while, having harmed him bad enough to not be able to fly that fast and that long. Izzy still had his hunter hat attached to one of his horns; and when Yamamura finally killed him, offered Valtr's Whirligig Saw for it, he got Izzy's former hunter hat as a trophy. However, there was some work to be done, to remove the traces of former blue ribbon, and to patch up the hole from the horn. In the end, the two never knew each other beyond just a beast and just a future hunter, but Izzy did speak his final words, saying it was too late and Yamamura's village was to inevitably witness the truth...

9) Headcanons about their past

Like I said, Izzy was raised 'like a man', in a pretty violent and unforgiving environment. In a strange way, it was an act of protection, in a heavily sexist environment where a woman was an incubator to birth more warriors at least, a useless waste of resources to be killed at worst. Izzy grew in the mindset that 'one gender is more equal than another', that further influenced her life decisions, but in a different way; she wished to abolish such inequality.

Izzy was quickly driven to the Old Hunters faction, who encouraged: they did not care about one's preferences or upbringing. For them, one being able to kill was enough, regardless of the way they choose. This kind of autonomy was all Izzy really wanted - a place to be free at as herself, as long as she could KILL. That Izzy already was good at... However, she didn't quite buy how Hunters and Healing Church cooperated, and how many things they prohibited. She was asking too many questions, trying too weird tools... As result, she was sentenced to no less but to be forcibly held in the dungeons until she'd 'understand her behaviour'. When upon her return, they offered her peace, Izzy's answer was simple - "When you leave someone in the darkness, be careful to ensure they never learn to SEE in it!"

Izzy hit several violent conflicts with Laurence (basically the fire wizard) and Ludwig (basically the Moon paladin), over proposing the will of a certain deity. But, she brought the seed of the doubt upon enough of people. Some of them still search all over Loran in order to find the same enlightenment she found, such as Joseph.

She learned her father was dead through third parties, and was very devastated. She had a word with him, about falling for the corrupted and unfair order of his society and culture, about forcing her to grow in a certain way, about being a 'coward'. She always felt and will feel bitter towards him for not being as strong as her; because her style is to curse the whole world but stand for what is right... And her father was... well, not that. She considered asking Micolash for his necromancer magic multiple times, to bring her father back and have a word with him, too.

10) Content about them I'd like to see more of

LITERALLY ANYTHING. I honestly do not understand how came this character was only worthy of consideration in like... what? 2017-2018? And then forgotten into nothingness? Like... You all have a beast mom/dad/gender-neutral, and you just gloss over it? Feels weird for me xD We should collectively bring back the tradition of making a fully fleshed-out character out of Bloodborne's namedrop!

But yeah, that's it for this character! Thank you for asking, though! Blegh... I honestly have a design for Izzy's armour and stages as a character in my head, I really wish I could share them right here. But... yeah, alas, drawing a full on fanart will take some time.

[kaleido-write]

Chapter 6 part 1

Its pretty cute I really like the poses ! And rusty is pretty good at drawing plus size people !

Im hoping that for once the cover will actually make sense according to the rest of the comic tho cuz otherwise it would really suck that once again a cute cover is wasted on a chapter that doesn't fit it

OH gosh ok so we are either in a flashbacks or a nightmare to see once again the transwomans (I'll use she/her pronouns for them) here i kinda like the border that's cloudy maybe doing it even more to out emphasis that it's a dream would've been super interesting , maybe even going as far to erase some part to show she's not remembering things properly because she was shocked during that moment maybe even dissociated ect

Unfortunately rusty can't write trauma properly due to a lack of researches

I kinda like their synchronization it's pretty interesting and bring a good comedic effect to the whole scene (comedic as in relief not that it's funny )

Everything is very clear , wich doesn't indicate whether it's a dream or flashbacks, i don't know if the confusion is on purpose or not due to rusty highly varying level of writing , her lack of consistency is probably one of the biggest issues regarding leasebound so you never know what intentional and what's not and you're supposed to guess wich is very troubling , especially since a good chunk of the Canon and material that would be needed to understand the comic is written out of it like in the comments , a good chunk of readers will not search trough comments in order to understand everything perfectly as a writer its your responsibility your comic is readable for any kind of audience. Criticism is legitimate when you overcater to such a niche that nobody else can understand because you give information to your niche only that would be needed for the comic

OOPS inconsistency again , either both are supposed to have blacked out noses or none , but the fact that shanzey has it (spoiler for next panels) it's really unfortunate rusty forgot that , hopefully in next fix times where she just changes stuff around she'll fix that

Its interesting to have them be the bruised up ones , but at least we can safely assume now that it is a dream so yay? It's interesting to have Jaden be in the light while parniya and shanzey are showed in the dark , i don't know if it was intentionally but if it was its a good call to show that in that dream they represent something dark to Jaden perhaps insecurities

I dont really like her barely expressive face , usually when someone tell you something like that you feel something yk ? But again the efforts that rusty put in her comic is very inconsistent so eh 🤷‍♂️

What's that arm 😭😭

Honestly it feels weird people that have little to zero importance to her have such an important part in her dream , why isn't there emphasis on people that she deem as important? Because at most theses girls should've been in the background to show a certain distance between them and Jaden she isn't their friend nor anything except the hot butch they decided to simp on and sexualize

Its really badly written , a dream stemming from trauma won't be in that way , you don't get breathing room in theses nightmares because your brain is in alert and think its in danger . Having theses girls just go out of their own free will is completely ridiculous and proves that again rusty didn't do any researches , theses dreams are suffocating and painful , they're confusing , because the brain mix everything together.

Having the bruises drawn the same wat she draw anger is very confusing , she hasn't made anything to demonstrate a clear difference wich again is a sad lack of work around her character designing

Plus having Jaden have glittery eyes with no tears and her eyebrow raised makes her look hopeful wich she shouldn't be in front of ruth who's clearly mad at her

[brillianceofblue]

✨a CDD system figuring things out✨

wee little intro post for our system and the alters who post here

last updated: Nov 13, 2024

we are Bluebird, a CDD system

our system is neurodivergent and queer

bodily between 20-25 and afrolatine

this blog is our space to talk about system thoughts and find community

we are also a therian ('types vary by headmate) so we post about that sometimes :D

we're absolutely looking for people to talk to who are friendly toward systems and alterhumans, or are systems/alterhumans themselves!! that's why we're here lol (it's out first Tumblr blog) so please feel free to send asks or dms <3

most role definitions are used pretty loosely in our system lol

we're not fussed about what language you use for us. parts, headmates, alters, system, collective, whatever

our blog is a safe space for everything except bigotry and belligerence

our host is, in his words, 'the weirdest bitch alive', so more likely than not, you'll be accepted here. we're open minded <3

no specific DNI but if you're a dick you'll get blocked.

alter intros are below the cut <3

---

name/pronouns: Felix, all pronouns identity: human & bird/lizard/dragon/coatl therian role: frontstuck host

intro blurb: formerly clueless host now doing my darndest to recognize my system <3 I mean it when I say I'm the weirdest (meaning least mainstream) bitch alive. I'm a pagan, polyamorous therian. I love me some good-natured nonsense, but I have a low tolerance for malicious bullshit, so don't bring that here

---

name/pronouns: Myaila, she/her identity: vampire role: caretaker (decompression and self care)

intro blurb: yeah caretaker but in the loosest sense bc really I just enjoy chilling tf out but that's important for our function too lol, and I take care of the self care stuff <3 also kind of a loose introject of Marceline from Adventure Time but separated enough that it's more like I kin her and we look somewhat alike. I just vibe tbh but I'm vital to system function cuz I'm the only one with a consistent ability to chill (love y'all <3)

---

Name/pronouns: Sal, he/they Identity: Human Role: Protector

Intro blurb: The White Guy™. Protector, but in a caretaker way. Compulsive. MARINA stan. My drag name would be Zesty Primadonna. Usually stressed, sometimes funny.

---

Name/pronouns: Isakov, he/they Identity: Human

Personality TBD (I'm newly formed...) but I want to take part in this blog.

[lindsayrps]

taylor matthews

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: taylor michael matthews NICKNAME(S): tay PREFERRED NAME(S): taylor BIRTH DATE: march 5, 1992 AGE: 31 GENDER: cis male PRONOUNS: he/him ROMANTIC/SEXUAL ORIENTATION: heterosexual/romantic NATIONALITY: canadian ETHNICITY: white CURRENT LOCATION: raleigh, north carolina LIVING SITUATION: 3 bed house in the suburbs

BACKGROUND

BIRTH PLACE: halifax, nova scotia HOMETOWN: halifax, nova scotia PLACES LIVED: halifax, kamloops, minnesota, north carolina. SOCIAL CLASS: upper EDUCATION LEVEL: high school diploma, unfinished university degree FATHER: john matthews MOTHER: miriam matthews SIBLING(S): jasmine matthews (29) BIRTH ORDER: taylor, jasmine CHILDREN: hazel matthews, 5. PET(S): none (yet) OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES: n/a PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: his longest was with hazel's mom, however, she was early twenties when hazel was an unexpected surprise and willingly signed her parental rights away to taylor and they haven't heard from her since. taylor has no ill will towards her. ARRESTS: no PRISON TIME?: no

OCCUPATION & INCOME

PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME: defenseman for the carolina hurricanes SECONDARY SOURCE OF INCOME: - TERTIARY SOURCE(S) OF INCOME: - CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THEREOF): yes PAST JOB(S): - SPENDING HABITS: not frugal, not expensive, somewhere in the middle. MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION: tbd

SKILLS & ABILITIES

PHYSICAL STRENGTH: A OFFENSE: B- DEFENSE: A SPEED: A- INTELLIGENCE: B+ ACCURACY: B- AGILITY: B STAMINA: A TEAMWORK: A TALENTS: skating (questionable at times), being able to do hazel's hair and have it look good SHORTCOMINGS: off ice he's probably too nice, on ice he's a bit of a pest LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: english, french DRIVE?: yes JUMP START A CAR?: yes CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: yes RIDE A BICYCLE?: yes SWIM?: yes PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: no PLAY CHESS?: no BRAID HAIR?: yes TIE A TIE?: yes PICK A LOCK?: yes

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE & CHARACTERISTICS

FACE CLAIM: jean luc bilodeau EYE COLOR: brown HAIR COLOR: brown HAIR TYPE/STYLE: short, styled out of his face GLASSES/CONTACTS?: no DOMINANT HAND: right HEIGHT: 5'10 WEIGHT: 160 BUILD: athletic EXERCISE HABITS: consistent but varies week to week depending on the work situation SKIN TONE: tan but even TATTOOS: several on both arms with a larger quantity on his right arm PIERCINGS: none MARKS/SCARS: various knicks and cuts from a lifetime in hockey NOTABLE FEATURES: big brown cow eyes USUAL EXPRESSION: happy CLOTHING STYLE: work: full suits, trousers, polos, dress shoes, occasionally sneakers as they get closer to spring. gen: jeans, tshirts, sneakers, boots, anything durable. JEWELRY: simple chain necklace, pinky ring, middle finger ring. ALLERGIES: n/a DIET: everything in moderation PHYSICAL AILMENTS: n/a

PSYCHOLOGY

ENNEAGRAM TYPE: reformer MORAL ALIGNMENT: chaotic neutral TEMPERAMENT: sanguine ELEMENT: earth PRIMARY INTELLIGENCE TYPE: bodily kinesthetic MENTAL CONDITIONS/DISORDERS: n/a SOCIABILITY: high EMOTIONAL STABILITY: high OBSESSION(S): n/a COMPULSION(S): n/a PHOBIA(S): n/a ADDICTION(S): n/a DRUG USE: nno ALCOHOL USE: very occasionally PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: on the ice.........yes.

MANNERISMS

SPEECH STYLE: ACCENT: he will say he doesn't have one but he's very obviously from atlantic canada QUIRKS: n/a HOBBIES: anything his kid wants to do. HABITS: outside of his job he'd say he doesn't have any but he tapes his stick/ties his laces in specific ways every time. NERVOUS TICKS: n/a DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: winning the stanley cup, being a good dad to hazel FEARS: not being there enough for his daughter POSITIVE TRAITS: adventurous, gentle, loyal, passionate, polite NEGATIVE TRAITS: intense, competitive, critical, sarcastic, stubborn SENSE OF HUMOR: dry DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: on the ice if he has to yes

FAVORITES

ACTIVITY: anything with his kid ANIMAL: dog BEVERAGE: orange juice BOOK: CELEBRITY: n/a COLOR: blue DESIGNER: n/a FOOD: a good burger is where it's at FLOWER: n/a GEM: n/a HOLIDAY: christmas MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: car MOVIE: bob's burgers movie MUSICAL ARTIST: tragically hip QUOTE/SAYING: SCENERY: seascapes SCENT: fresh cut grass / petrichor / saltwater SPORT: hockey SPORTS TEAM: hurricanes obviously TELEVISION SHOW: friday night lights WEATHER: winter VACATION DESTINATION: somewhere tropical and warm

ATTITUDES

GREATEST DREAM: winning the cup GREATEST FEAR: something happening to hazel MOST AT EASE WHEN: honestly all the time except LEAST AT EASE WHEN: doing media WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN: anything bad happening to hazel BIGGEST REGRET: none really MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT: why live with embarrassment when nobody's going to remember it except you? BIGGEST SECRET: meh, he's kind of an open book TOP PRIORITIES: hazel / his job / family/friends / everything else

[shig-a-shig-ah]

I'm just wondering, if gender is fake, why to invent pronouns and identities? Aren't they are fake as well?

Short answer: because it's fun!

Longer answer under the cut because I am long-winded af about sociology in general and about gender in particular. I'm going to explain this assuming literally no background knowledge whatsoever, so please know if I over-explain anything, I'm not trying to be patronizing. Just accessible to anyone, regardless of how much exposure they've had to this stuff.

First off, we need to unpack what it means to say that gender is 'fake.' This doesn't mean that gender straight up doesn't exist--it simply means that gender is, at its essence, a made-up category. (Or, in fancy social science lingo, it's a social construct.) Essentially, this means that gender is a category that we as a society have agreed is meaningful, but that isn't really rooted in any biological/physical reality.

But sex is biological! you might say. We're a sexually dimorphic species! Males and females! Penises and vaginas! Etc., etc.! (I am speaking of the proverbial 'you' here, not necessarily of you in particular, anon.) There's this common sense narrative that we're all taught from a very young age that people can be divided into males and females, which is synonymous with men and women, and that there's something natural about these divisions.

The truth, though, is more complicated, and for a couple reasons. The first is that biological/physiological sex is not actually a neat binary. There's a lot of variation, and no matter what defining characteristic you want to use to determine sex--hormones, chromosomes, genitals--you're always going to get people who don't fit neatly into one box or another. (Intersex people exist, for starters.)

Now, some people challenge the utility of biological sex as a concept too--and here I literally just mean the categorization of the body into male, female, or intersex--but I personally don't take much issue with it. But it is important to know that sex isn’t the same as gender. If we think of sex as purely based on physiological characteristics, we can think of gender as all of the social meanings and expectations that have come to be associated physical sex. Men are aggressive, stoic, etc. Women are emotional, soft, whatever. But the thing is, none of these traits are exclusively innate to men/males or women/females--differences in behavior that emerge between men and women occur because they’re taught. We all start learning from a very young age that boys do this, and girls do that, and it becomes internalized enough that it starts to look natural, but it really isn't; it’s just become second-nature to us. And we know this is true partly because in terms of behavior/disposition, there’s as much variation among men and among women themselves as there is between men and women as distinct groups. Further, the supposed differences between men and women aren’t consistent across time and place--the norms for what men like or how they behave have differed depending on the historical period, and the traits that distinguish men and women vary from culture to culture. This wouldn’t happen if there was something biological about gendered behavior.

So, gender, then, is really rooted in identity (how we think and feel about ourselves) and performance (how we act/comport ourselves throughout the world). And these things are absolutely shaped by social forces (because we’re taught to act and think of ourselves in certain ways), but if you accept that gender is largely a construct imposed from without and then internalized, this opens up the possibility of other kinds of gender identity and gender performances.

Now, yeah, you could argue instead that we should simply do away with gender entirely. Let people look and act however they want without creating new labels or pronouns or any of that. And honestly, I think that's my ideal world. But the world that we actually live in genders everything. It's this overarching structure that shapes out interactions, permeates our institutions, and has a profound impact on our experiences. So many of our norms and our models for what life looks like are highly gendered, and as such, it's not really possible to move through our society without having some kind of relationship to masculinity and femininity, to manhood and womanhood, even if that relationship is rooted in a rejection of the constraints of those categories or (in my own personal case) a sort of failure or inability to adhere to said categories.

Creating room for 'new' gender identities creates language to articulate those relationships. (And, I do want to push back against the idea of these being new inventions a bit, because plenty of other cultures have had language and space for trans/nonbinary identities, and the rigid systems we have now are, in part, a consequence of colonialism, but that's a whole other thing.) And this desire to have language to express ourselves is just... a very human thing. We want to be able to describe our experiences and connect with people who share them. New identities and pronouns are way to do that. (Also want to note here that pronouns are not synonymous with gender identity; I know cis people who prefer they/them pronouns, and nonbinary people who were assigned female at birth who are fine with she/her pronouns. They're just one way to reflect gender identity.)

Which brings me back to: it's fun! There's a type of pleasure (in a nonsexual way) to be had in identifying a gender performance that feels right. And for some people this is along binary lines, but for others it isn't.

Speaking for myself, I didn't even come out as nonbinary until was 30, but I had a very ambivalent relationship towards womanhood up until then. And not just in a way where I didn't love the stereotypes associated with it (although, that too), but in a way where I was lowkey... bad at it. I started getting mistaken for a lesbian in the sixth grade and that's been a constant theme my whole life. And like, I am bisexual, but it took a very long time for it to click that people were really making that assumption based on my gender performance and not any real hints about my sexuality. I just wasn't quite feminine enough to pass, or something, and this was true even at times in my life where I looked more feminine.

And looking back on my life, I can literally pinpoint moments where I sort of... 'bought in' to elements of male socialization--to stoicism and to objectifying women and to many other things that my woman friends didn't that very much led to that more ambiguous gender performance. And none of this is to say that woman have to perform a particular type of femininity to be women--I certainly believe people can be gender nonconforming without being any kind of trans or nonbinary--but for me personally the result was that the 'woman' box just never felt right and I always felt sort of... confused about gender. About why it mattered or why I was supposed to pick or identify with something. Even as a bisexual person, my attitude is less 'women are hot! men are hot!' and more 'attractive people are attractive, beyond that who cares?' And the language of being nonbinary just really spoke to those feelings in a very real way, even if there's nothing innate about it. It gives me a way to express my experience as a particular type of gendered being in a highly gendered society that wouldn’t be covered by just saying ‘oh I’m a slightly masculine woman’ or something, because it’s a lot more complicated than that. 

[iclaimedtobethebetterbard]

stars in the sk(eyes)

Fandom: Sanders Sides Characters: Logan, Virgil, Roman, Remus, Janus, Patton Rating: Teen & up Relationships: Analogical, background Intrualiceit Warnings: Language, food, like 1 line that’s maybe suggestive but also said half-jokingly Word count: 5592

Read on AO3!

My writing masterpost

Starlight Universe masterpost

analogical week 2021 start - previous - here - next - masterpost

Summary: Logan has always loved stars. Virgil has always loved music. Maybe they can put those together with a little help from some friends.

Notes: Day 2 of Analogical Week 2021! @analogicalweek Takes place in my Starlight Universe, does not need context to read.  Patton, Janus, and Remus are all nonbinary folks who use he/they pronouns and masculine terms in this universe (but in the flashback scene, Janus is only using they/them); Roman, Logan, and Virgil are all men who use he/him. (I know absolutely nothing about music or concerts or anything, so please don't roast me too hard for any inaccuracies, lol.)

They were only opening the concert; the real attraction was a band from out of town with a midsize following, making a stop on their tour. Not that Virgil was complaining to have landed this gig. It would be the biggest performance his band—the band he, Janus, and the twins had formed a few years ago—had given, by a lot. And that was exciting. Sure, Virgil had absolutely spent hours stressing over how big it was, but he knew how to manage his anxiety, especially when it came to performances, and the anxiety didn’t stop the excitement.

“You’re going to do wonderfully,” Logan had told him earlier that day as he’d been getting dressed, passing his fingerless leather gloves and then holding his jacket for him to slide into. He’d spoken it with a simple, unassuming confidence, as if it were a given fact. It had been more comforting than Virgil thought Logan knew.

With the memory of his husband’s words carefully nestled against his heart, and the jacket Logan had helped him paint rainbow stripes on sitting on his shoulders, Virgil found it easier to let go of the anxiety. Some lingering tension remained as he paced backstage, running through lyrics in his head and triple checking that everyone knew the schedule, but it wasn’t as bad as usual. Most of it, if he was being honest with himself, wasn’t even about the performance—it was about the surprise the band had put together, the surprise Virgil had had to bite his tongue a couple of times to keep himself from thoughtlessly mentioning it to Logan, even though the surprise had been almost entirely his own idea and the others were just helping. But he’d successfully kept the secret, and now Logan was out in the audience, and Virgil was backstage, and there would be no more chances to spoil it.

But Logan was out in the audience, and Virgil was backstage, and the final round of jitters was setting in. And when Logan wasn’t there, Virgil’s jitters took the form of pestering the hell out of everyone in the room, to make sure everything was perfect.

He checked all the instruments, giving Janus’s keyboard a once-over without touching because he knew better by this point. Remus’s drumset was already on the stage—he was drumming with his fingers on the end of the fallout table in the corner—so there was nothing to do about that. Roman was actively tuning his guitar, so Virgil left that alone too and instead checked his bass, just in case it had gotten out of tune in the last thirty seconds.

All of the instruments were fine, great, even, and Remus and Roman were undeniably being productive; Janus, who’d been on their phone in the corner, had stepped out for just a moment, probably to get a drink of water or something.

Things were in order. Which was good. Great, even. But it gave Virgil nothing to do with his restless energy.

“Are we ready?” he asked, jiggling his leg and tracing the pattern of his fishnet tights through one of the large rips in his jeans.

Roman looked up. “Yes,” he said shortly. Roman’s nerves tended to take the form of a very short temper, which didn’t mix well with Virgil’s perfectionism.

“Yeah,” Remus agreed, running a hand through his dark green curls and straightening his denim jacket.

“We all know the order things go in?” Virgil followed up after a minute of tense silence.

“Mmhm,” Remus said easily. Remus, and Remus alone, somehow always managed to remain at ease and unbothered no matter what. Virgil didn’t know how they did it.

Virgil took stock of everyone’s outfits. He himself was wearing fishnet leggings that went all the way up past his waist. Over them he had ripped black skinny jean, and a black crop top splattered with white paint. On top of that, he wore his black denim jacket, which matched the ones the other three were wearing. Virgil’s had the rainbow pride flag painted on the front, all down the lapel area; the rest of the jacket was covered in patches. He checked his makeup, examining the black eyeshadow and lipstick in his phone’s camera; it looked fine. Perfect, even.

Roman was the neatest of the group, made to stand out as the lead singer. He wore the same high-heeled doc martens as the other three, but in white where theirs were all black. He had a tight white longsleeve shirt made of a shimmery material and a matching pair of white pants, and the black jacket contrasting nicely against it all. Roman’s jacket had the aromantic pride flag where Virgil had the rainbow, and the rest of his jacket was painted with red roses all at the ends of long, intricate, thorny stems. His eyeliner was sharp enough to cut, and his curly hair was piled up atop a black headband wrapped around his forehead like a crown.

Janus still wasn’t back, but he’d been on the neater end too, to counter Virgil and especially Remus’s scruffiness. Their outfit was sleek and all black save for a thin white belt around their waist. A black hat with a broad round brim framed their face like a dark halo. His jacket had nonbinary and pan stripes on the front, and thin white squiggly lines running up and down like warped pinstripes everywhere else. (Virgil knew where on the jacket one line ended in a tiny snake head, and where one trailed off into a tail, but you wouldn’t notice unless you knew to look.) They were wearing black lipstick to match Virgil, and winged eyeliner to match Roman, and contour that emphasized the sharpness of his cheekbones; definitely the heaviest makeup of the group.

Remus, sitting in the corner and making noises to themself, was a sharp contrast to his boyfriend Janus’s sleek elegance. His black jeans, splattered with white paint to match Virgil’s crop top, were ripped almost to shreds, open nearly entirely from mid-thigh down to his ankles, with only a few clinging strands of fabric keeping them anywhere in the realm of being pants. The tee they wore—black again, with his own name painted on it in large white letters��was also ripped full of holes, these ones much more deliberate; he’d slashed it carefully with an exacto knife, kneeling on the ground and focusing with their tongue stuck out slightly, until it was exactly how he wanted it and you could catch glimpses of their top surgery scars when they moved. His makeup consisted of dramatic green and black eyeshadow, and his jacket had the trans and polyamorous flags on it—he and Janus, who had nearly identical collections of pride flags between them, had split two and two which color schemes they wanted to use. The rest of Remus’s jacket consisted of a few jagged holes and some incredibly detailed paintings of green tentacles.

The instruments were fine. The costumes were fine. The makeup was fine. What else did that leave for Virgil to fret over as the final minutes ticked away?

“How about the blocking?” Virgil said. “We can go over it again if anyone—”

“I promise we know, Virge,” Roman snapped.

“Come on, kiddo, you know he’s just trying to help!” piped up Patton, Janus and Remus’s other boyfriend, who was suddenly somehow present and sitting in Janus’s lap, his pastel outfit completely out of place amidst the varying edgy styles everyone else in the room was sporting.

“How did you get back here?” Roman and Virgil demanded in unison. Virgil hadn’t even noticed Janus was back, let alone that he’d brought Patton, who was supposed to be in the audience with Logan until the performance was over.

“Oops,” Janus said, not sounding even a tiny bit remorseful as they played with Patton’s dark curls.

“Did you leave Logan alone?” Virgil demanded of Patton, hands on his hips.

“Only for a minute! He’s getting snacks, anyway,” Patton said, wrapping his arms around Janus’s neck. “We both know where our seats are, he’ll be fine.”

“You already have a partner backstage, stop being greedy,” Roman scolded Janus. “Patton, you know we need to focus right now, can you please not distract my horny bandmates until after the show?”

“You sound like Virgil, with all that worrywarting,” Remus commented, snickering.

“Take that back this instant!” Roman demanded as Virgil gave Remus double birds.

Remus only guffawed, looking incredibly amused.

“Seriously, though, uh, Patton, with all the love in my heart: get out,” Virgil said.

Patton wrinkled his nose, but pressed a warm smack of a kiss to Janus’s cheek and hopped to his feet.

“Do I get a kiss?” Remus asked, reaching his arms out hopefully.

“Makeup—” Roman began warningly.

“I haven’t got any on my mouth!” Remus said triumphantly. “Suck it, Jan.”

Janus smiled wryly, fingers rising to but not quite touching their black lipstick that Patton had avoided so carefully. “The prices I pay for beauty.”

Patton giggled, crossing to Remus, clasping both his hands, and leaning down to kiss him sweetly.

“Great, you’re very very cute together but now is not the time, Patton get out and stop distracting your boyfriends,” Roman said, shooing Patton towards the door.

Remus raised an eyebrow. “High strung much?”

“Not all of us possess your—your stupid coolheadedness powers, Remus!” Roman snapped.

Patton paused in the doorway and pointed at Roman, getting out his dad voice. “Hey. Be nice.” The finger moved to Virgil. “Be nice.” His eyes flicked to Remus, then Janus, and his voice shifted to a different tone, half flirty and half joking. “You two be good boys.”

“Oh my god oh my god oh my god, I said to stop being horny!” Roman shrieked, chasing a giggling Patton out of the room and down the hall. He returned moments later, Patton-less and fixing at his hair to make sure it wasn’t too messy. “We had better not have any more alloromantic bullshit from any of you until after the show is over!” he announced. “Okay?” He didn’t sound quite as annoyed as before.

“Homophobia,” Remus accused teasingly.

But instead of snapping back, Roman giggled. “Oh, shut up.”

The twins began joking back and forth, Janus making the occasional amused interjection.  Evidently Patton’s intrusion into the room, although technically unhelpful, had done wonders to break the tension, and Virgil reminded himself to thank Patton later.

Virgil’s phone buzzed with a text from Logan.

Logan: Patton found me, don’t worry. Logan: How are you doing?

Virgil: hahahahahaaaa i don’t wanna think abt it

Logan began typing, then the little bubble went away; a second later, the phone began to ring, Logan’s caller ID plain to see.

“Hi, babe,” Virgil greeted.

“Hello, dear. Would you like to walk me through your plan for the performance, to reassure yourself?”

Virgil let out a small sigh of relief. “Yes, please.”

“I am listening,” Logan assured him.

Virgil took a deep breath and launched into a detailed itinerary, knowing that Logan didn’t mind if he got a little too technical in his terminology because Logan was listening for Virgil’s sake.

“And then that’s about it,” Virgil wound down, carefully leaving off the final item from his explanation. It wouldn’t do to spoil the surprise now. “Oh, looks like we’re getting ready now, gotta go.”

“I love you,” Logan said quickly. “You’re going to do a wonderful job.”

Virgil let out a short laugh. “Thanks, L. Love you too.” He hung up, set his phone down on the table, and picked up his bass.

“You ready?” Roman asked, nudging Virgil with his elbow, as the group finally headed towards the stage.

Virgil sucked in a long breath. “Yeah. I think so. Are you?”

“Oh, you know it!” Roman grinned, a spring in his step. He paused after a second and glanced back to Virgil. “Sorry for being so wound up earlier.”

“It happens.” Virgil shrugged. “Right back at you.”

Roman nodded and put a hand on Virgil’s shoulder. “Hey. He’s going to love it. Just wait and see.”

Virgil looked away, half smiling. “I sure hope so.”

“He will, I know it!” Roman insisted as they climbed the steps onto the stage and emerged into what could practically have been the eye of a hurricane, for all the noise and light that surrounded the stage.

The sky above was fully dark; bright lights everywhere in the area contrasted against it. There was a decent crowd. The venue seemed almost full, as a matter of fact. The observation added a thrill of adrenaline to compliment the goosebumps from the chilly breeze across Virgil’s bare midriff.

Roman stepped forward and spread his arms wide right as the spotlights came up. “Hey, folks, thank you for being with us here tonight!” he said, his smile gleaming in the bright lights and his voice booming in the speakers. “We have some great hits lined up for you tonight! Let’s get it started, huh?”

Virgil waited a few seconds for the cheer of the crowd to peak. Janus began the melody on the keyboard; Virgil came in with his bass at exactly the same second Roman began to sing, and Remus picked up the beat on the drums on cue.

Virgil was quickly able to get lost in the music, all his focus on playing and providing backup vocals, leaving him with no more brain space for his anxiety. This was his favorite thing about music: its ability to keep him in the moment.

They played three songs. Two covers that always went over really well, and one song that the twins had written together about family that always left Roman just a little teary. Normally that would be their closing song.

But tonight was a little bit different.

Roman took a step back, nodding at Virgil; the pair of them traded places onstage, putting Virgil front and center.

“So,” Virgil said, the mic on his cheek picking up his words, “we were thinking we’d let you all be the first to hear our new song. Uh, I wrote this one. And normally Roman does our singing, because—well, you’ve heard his voice. But this song is kind of special. I wrote it for my husband. So. We thought I’d perform it tonight.”

As Janus began playing the melody, Virgil searched the front row of the crowd, squinting against the lights, until he found Logan, sitting next to Patton and gazing up at Virgil with shining eyes. “Lo, I love you so much, babe. More than every star you’ve ever shown me.” He took a deep breath and began to sing.

***

10 years earlier

Unknown Number: Hello. This is Janus. Logan’s roommate

Virgil: how’d u get this number?

Janus: I broke into Logan’s phone after you started dating and saved you to my contacts just in case

[read 3:43pm}

[3:46pm]

Virgil: i Virgil: wtf dude

Janus: Your boyfriend has been moping in his room all day, can you please come fix it? Janus: Roman is starting to mope too for no good reason, but he’s doing it in the living room and at this point it is starting to affect my quality of life

Virgil: yk i literally could not care less abt that part u asshole <3 Virgil: i’ll be over in 15 Virgil: is he ok?

Janus: He won’t talk to me, I don’t know what happened

Virgil: i’ll be over in 10

It was normally a 12-minute walk from the dorm Virgil was an RA in to Logan’s apartment just off campus, but Virgil could walk fast when he was anxious or alone, and in this case he was both. Even taking the time to grab a jacket, he still made it to the building in nine minutes flat.

Janus let Virgil into the apartment almost the second he knocked, relief plain to see on their face.

“You see?” Janus said over their shoulder in a scolding tone. “I had to resort to outside measures to deal with your bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit,” Roman whined from where he was slumped on the couch, scrolling aimlessly through Netflix on the TV.

“Oh? And what’s this?” Janus demanded, hands on their hips. They dramatically pushed the button to open the microwave door, revealing a limp burrito wrapped in a damp paper towel.

“Lunch,” Roman mumbled defensively.

“You hate microwave food, and it’s four in the afternoon!” Janus snapped.

“I am in a creative slump, Jan! Have some sympathy!”

“No! Get your whiny ass off the couch and stop ruining my afternoon!”

Virgil took a deep breath and pointedly walked in between the pair of them down the hall towards Logan’s room. Roman and Janus’s still-bickering voices faded into the background.

“Hey.” Virgil knocked on the door, which had a piece of printer paper taped to it with Logan’s name written on it in blue sharpie and a couple of stars, both scribbles and stickers, scattered around it. He waited, and when there was no reply, he added, “Are you okay, Lo?”

“I’m fine,” Logan said, in a voice that had obviously been crying.

“Can I come in?” Virgil asked.

“Okay.”

Virgil pushed open the door and stepped into the dim room, closing it behind him. The blinds were closed, and Logan was curled up under a mound of blankets.

“Hey, baby,” Virgil murmured, kicking off his shoes and climbing to sit on the bed beside Logan and stroke his hair. “What’s wrong?”

Logan made a muffled noise of misery into the mattress.

“What?” Virgil said after a moment.

Logan rolled over. “Teacher didn’t like my essay.”

Virgil chewed on the inside of his lip for a moment. “Okay, I promise I’m not making fun of you, but you do know that that is possibly the most stereotypically you thing you have ever said to me, right?”

Logan let out a little huff that was not quite a laugh. “I guess.” He was silent for a moment as Virgil continued to stroke his hair. “And I know it’s stupid. I still got a B+ and my overall grade in the class is fine and I know I’m a good writer and everything. But it sucks. I was really proud of it.”

“I’m sorry about that,” Virgil said, choosing to ignore the squirm in his gut that always happened when grades came up. It was so easy to compare or to worry about others comparing and then to worry about others getting upset over comparisons and—he dragged himself back to the present, forcibly setting the issue aside. “You’re allowed to feel upset,” he told Logan. “About anything that upsets you. Even if you wouldn’t choose it.”

Logan didn’t respond, but after a minute his hand snaked out from under the covers and grasped Virgil’s.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” Virgil asked, struck with the idea.

“Huh?”

“A walk. Get out of your head for a little bit and hang out. We can talk if you want, or just be together.”

Roman’s voice grew particularly loud outside, and Virgil picked out a teary, petulant, “I hate you!”

“Plus it’ll get you away from that energy,” he added wryly.

Logan drew in a breath and sat up. “Alright. Let’s do it.” He pulled out a denim jacket while Virgil put his shoes back on and retied the laces. They made their way out of the apartment, hand in hand.

Roman was on his feet now, releasing an angry tirade at Janus, hands clenched into fists and sounding on the verge of crying, the TV remote cast on the floor beside him. Janus was sitting on the kitchen counter with arms crossed and an intimidating glare on their face.

“Hey!” Virgil snapped, and Roman cut off abruptly. “Eat some food,” Virgil told him on a hunch. Sure, Roman could be a little immature at times, but this was on a whole different level, and a lack of food seemed like the simplest culprit.

Virgil looked over at Janus, to make it clear that they weren’t off the hook either. “We’re going out. You two better make up before we get back. Clear?”

“You can’t tell us what to do—” Roman began stubbornly.

“Janus literally called me in to fix all your problems, so yeah. I can. Also open your windows, it’s gloomy as fuck in here.” Virgil opened the door and held it for Logan, tossing one last glare over his shoulder at Roman, who looked dumbstruck, and Janus, who avoided eye contact.

Logan was quiet as the two of them walked down the stairs and exited the apartment building, hands in his pockets (one still clasping Virgil’s) and eyes on the toes of his slip-on shoes.

“Wanna talk?” Virgil asked.

Logan tilted his head to the side for a moment, his thinking face slipping over his features, and then shook his head.

Virgil nodded. “Okay.” He fished in his pocket for his earbuds and plugged them in. “Let me know if that changes, okay?” He received a small nod and turned on his go-to playlist—a 12-and-a-half-hour-long composition of all his favorite emo songs that he could loop without having to put any thought in.

The two of them wandered through the streets, hand in hand, music blaring in Virgil’s ears and Logan’s fingers soft and warm against his. They made their way towards downtown; their university was in a small city, and it was pretty walkable.

As they walked, weaving around and across different blocks, occasionally stopping to peek into particularly interesting shop windows, the tension in Logan’s shoulders slowly began to relax and his gaze migrated from the toes of his shoes upwards to take in the surrounding scenery. Virgil felt himself relaxing in turn. The subdued, almost sullen look on Logan’s face was beginning to shift back to his typical bright-eyed curiosity, which meant that while maybe not all was right with the world, a whole lot was right with the world.

As the sky began to darken, Logan’s pace quickened with sudden purpose—but he didn’t lead Virgil in the direction of the apartment. Instead, he headed in almost the exact opposite direction. Virgil was lost for a moment as to where they were going, until the park in the center of downtown came into view. Ah. That explained it. He was kind of glad; he didn’t feel ready for the quiet time they were spending together to be over.

A scent caught his attention as they entered the park, and he tugged gently at Logan’s arm, nodding towards the mediterranean food truck. A small smile answered him, and a nod, and the pair of them made their way over. They both ordered gyros—Virgil chicken, and Logan, who was trying out vegetarian food, falafel.

Fifteen minutes later, seated side by side on a park bench and finishing the last of their sandwiches, Logan cleared his throat. “Thank you.”

Virgil bumped his shoulder against his boyfriend’s. “Of course, babe.”

“I am feeling… better,” Logan said cautiously, as if he were testing out the words in his mouth to see if they felt true.

Virgil nodded. “Better is good.”

Logan nodded, eyes moving to the sky, which was now almost fully dark except for a streak of orange sunset leftover on the horizon. The stars were out, at least the brightest ones that could be seen even past the floodlights placed every so often across the park.

“You like space, and shit, right?” Virgil said, scooting closer to Logan and dragging his arm to wrap around Virgil as he rested his head on Logan’s shoulder. It was a bit of a rhetorical question, since he knew Logan had an astronomy minor and was the vice president of the astronomy club and had gone on no less than three eager rambles about space in the last month alone, but one could always do with a conversation opener.

Logan blinked and looked down at him. “I do.” You know this, his tone said, a little puzzled at the question.

“What star is that?” Virgil pointed at a particularly bright one, although he wasn’t paying nearly as much attention to the star as he was to Logan’s face.

Sure enough, Logan brightened, his eyes more interesting than any star. “Oh! That’s not a star at all—it’s actually Mercury!”

“Really?” Virgil asked, grinning and scooting closer.

Logan wrapped his arm a little more tightly around Virgil’s shoulders with an answering smile. “Yes, and it’s actually very fascinating…” And just like that, he was off, words spilling out of his mouth at a breakneck pace, gesturing eagerly with his free hand to emphasize his points.

Virgil listened, doing his best to follow along and asking a few questions whenever Logan started to wind down, but mostly just happy to watch his boyfriend’s lips as he excitedly infodumped, and his eyes, too, alight with delight, the frustration of the disappointing grade all but forgotten as he held Virgil and told him stories about the night sky.

It was nearly ten at night by the time they made their way back to Logan’s apartment, chatting back and forth in quiet voices and giggling. Logan broke off as he opened the door and got a look inside; he glanced over his shoulder at Virgil and put a finger to his lips.

Virgil hushed and followed him in, then saw what the need for quiet was: Janus and Roman were asleep on the sofa, Roman sprawled on his stomach on top of Janus with his limbs everywhere and his face buried in Janus’s chest, Janus with their arms wrapped around him and a throw pillow propping their head up and a worn copy of Crime and Punishment flopped over from where it had clearly been propped up on Roman’s back.

“Precious,” Virgil commented softly as Logan picked up the book, tucked a bookmark off the coffee table into it, and set it down with the tender care he seemed to reserve exclusively for books and Virgil.

Logan smiled. “They are, rather.” He looked down at his roommates. “Sometimes I wonder why I picked the two most dramatic people I know to live with.”

“Sometimes like this afternoon?” Virgil said with a chuckle.

Logan snorted. “Maybe. But then they do things like this, and I remember why I like them.”

Virgil noticed something on the tiny kitchen table. “Or this?” He pointed.

Logan came over to examine what Virgil had found. “Oh,” he breathed, a smile spreading across his face.

A plate of cookies sat on the table, together with a hastily handmade card.

“Sorry :( ❤️” it read in large, expressive cursive, and beneath it in smaller, neater handwriting, “I actually didn’t do anything wrong, but these are for you and I did the dishes, also you’re welcome for the date night.”

Logan laughed quietly, taking a cookie and offering the plate to Virgil, who accepted one cookie—they looked to be snickerdoodles. “Yes. Things exactly like this,” he said. He took a bite of the cookie and raised his eyebrows. “Not bad.”

Virgil grinned and leaned over to kiss him. “Not bad at all,” he agreed, pulling away.

“I literally gave you your own cookie,” Logan whispered, clearly trying not to laugh.

“Yeah, but it tastes better this way.” Virgil winked, mainly for Logan’s reaction—he pressed a hand to his mouth, stifling an amused smile that was still visible in his eyes. “I should go,” Virgil added, glancing at the time. It was Sunday tomorrow, so he didn’t need to worry about how late he was up, but he disliked walking home at night.

Logan nodded, taking another cookie and pressing it into his hand. “Text me when you get home?”

“I always do,” Virgil said, accepting the cookie and a goodnight kiss that still tasted just faintly of cinnamon and sugar.

And he did just that; he always felt a little awkward simply texting “I made it home,” or the like, so he usually tried to come up with interesting questions to send to Logan instead. Tonight, it was:

Virgil: hey Virgil: if u could pick one Thing u always wanted to do Virgil: and get a guarantee that u’d get a chance to do that thing no matter what Virgil: what would u pick?

Logan: Fascinating question! I would like the opportunity to name a star. Logan: I don’t imagine it will ever happen in real life, but I’ve always thought it would be… cool, for lack of a better word.

Virgil: ghfdkjghksdhj i will never be over ur love for space Virgil: u have a Brand and u stick to it

Logan: Well, a brand is important in life. :-) Logan: What about you? What would you pick?

Virgil: i think it’d be neat to be in a band Virgil: idk Virgil: like i don’t wanna be super famous or anything but like Virgil: being in a band would be neat Virgil: yk?

***

Ten years later, Virgil sang the last lines of his song looking right at his husband. “And I don’t even need to look to the skies/Because all of the stars are in your eyes.”

The noise around him didn’t fade away like in the movies; to the contrary, the cheering was so loud it was almost hard to focus. But Logan’s face was absolutely alight—Virgil couldn’t be sure at this distance, but he thought Logan might even be tearing up—and he was looking at Virgil like he was his whole world. Even with the bright lights and overwhelming sounds all around, it was easy to focus on Logan in the midst of it all, Logan pressing a hand to his mouth but smiling too wide for anything to hide it, Logan leaning into the side-hug that Patton—oh, and there was Patton, right beside him—was offering, but never taking his eyes off Virgil. Logan looked so happy, even though Virgil knew concerts weren’t really his favorite type of event, and Virgil was hit right in the chest with a renewed realization that Logan was Virgil’s whole world and damn, Virgil wanted to make sure everyone knew it.

But their time onstage was up, and the next few minutes were a bustle of packing equipment away and cleaning up the space they’d been allotted backstage, and it all went by in a bit of a blur, helped along by the remnants of Virgil’s performance mindset and slight overstimulation—though that was getting better now that he was offstage.

Virgil took a quick break, when the bulk of the urgent work was done, to just stand in the empty restroom and breathe for a moment, the noise of the other band who were now onstage thudding in the background so quietly he could hardly hear it. When he’d fully composed himself, feeling much calmer, he took a deep breath and headed back out.

On his way out, he ran into Roman, pushing a dolly with a box on it. “Oh, good, there you are,” he greeted Virgil. “Can you—oh, for crying out loud,” he broke off, looking ahead.

Following his gaze, Virgil snickered as he saw Remus, leaning against the wall with their hands clasped behind his head, grinning down at Patton, who was leaned forward, bracketing Remus with his arms, looking up at him and speaking, although Virgil couldn’t hear him from here.

“We still have work to do,” Roman said under his breath, but the exasperated gaze he leveled at the pair was altogether far too fond to have much real bite.

Virgil’s mind was on other matters; if Patton was here, that meant—

“Lolo!” Patton’s voice called brightly; he’d seen Roman and Virgil and stepped back from Remus, waving happily at the pair of them. “Virgil’s here!”

At the sound of Patton’s voice, Janus emerged from the room, a little further down the hall, that had served as the headquarters for the band. He bent to give the tiny man a kiss, then turned to Remus for another kiss.

Logan popped his head out just a moment behind Janus. “Virgil?” He brightened when he saw Virgil’s face, and stepped fully out into the hall. He hadn’t changed from his work outfit, still wearing a button down with the sleeves rolled up, a tie, and a pair of jeans, and a smile that he looked like he couldn’t wipe off his face.

He was still the handsomest man Virgil had ever seen.

Virgil looked to Roman. “Permission to get back on my alloromantic bullshit, captain?” he asked teasingly.

Roman rolled his eyes and swatted Virgil’s shoulder. “Go be cute,” he said benignly.

Virgil took off down the hallway to Logan, not quite running; Logan took a few steps to meet him, and Virgil caught him in a hug so eager he actually lifted the taller man off his feet for just a second.

Logan, half-laughing with surprise, grasped Virgil’s shoulders for balance as he regained his feet. “You wrote me a song?”

“Did you like it?” Virgil asked, holding him tightly.

“Virgil, I—” Logan seized Virgil’s face in his hands and kissed him.

Virgil wrapped his arms more firmly around his husband, kissing him back exuberantly and swaying slightly back and forth.

“It’s perfect,” Logan told him, breaking away only just far enough to speak. “You’re perfect.”

Virgil grinned, reaching up to run his fingers through Logan’s neat hair. “Careful, you’ll spoil me.”

“I don’t think I could ever do that,” Logan told him seriously. “It’s not spoiling if you deserve it.”

And really, what was Virgil supposed to do about that except kiss his husband again?

[th3atr3phant0m]

Gender

Perhaps Zim was just missing out on something, but he really didn’t understand why some of their peers treated DIb in the way that they did.

Of course, part of that could have to do with the fact that Zim hadn’t transferred into their school district until a few years ago and hadn’t known everyone there as they knew one another, but that didn’t make things any clearer, in his eyes.

Zim was no stranger to the cruelty of his fellow humans. He had learned a great deal about how people worked and the terror that came with them when he lived in the orphanage, so seeing people treat Dib like garbage wasn’t inherently strange but the way in which they did it certainly was.

Their peers almost constantly belittled Dib for his intense passion for the paranormal and extraterrestrial. Ever since he was a child, he had been incredibly interested in both of them, and that interest had only grown as he did. He put forth seemingly endless amounts of his time and energy into studying his passions. Honestly, Zim found it admirable. Unfortunately, though, many of their peers didn’t feel the same way, claiming that he was obsessed and insane. Considering how frequently Dib ranted about the paranormal and the intensity with which he did it, Zim could understand that, though.

What didn’t make sense to him were the strange things that they said to Dib in regard to his gender.

On more than one occasion, Zim had heard their fellow students refer to Dib as a girl or tell him that he looked or sounded feminine in some way or another. Zim couldn’t understand why. It was very clear to him and anyone who attended school with them that Dib was a guy. It wasn’t just the fact that he wore masculine or androgynous clothes- any idiot knew that clothes didn’t really mean anything- but the fact that Dib exclusively responded to male pronouns.  It was obvious that Dib wasn’t a girl and that he wasn’t comfortable with being addressed as such, so why did so many of their peers do so? Even people as ignorant as some of them were had to pick up on the fact that Dib was a man- or so Zim thought. Clearly, he was giving them far too much credit, though.

Sometimes, when Dib got irritated with others, they would make some idiotic comment about him being on his period or something along those lines. It always just worked to piss him off further, but it upset him in a completely different way than their comments about him being a freak did.

Despite the fact that Dib looked incredibly masculine, their peers would frequently tease him about how feminine he looked or acted, invalidating his masculinity almost as an easy insult to fall back on. It was clear that their words had more to do with getting a rise out of Dib than having any actual truth to it, but that didn’t make it any less nonsensical.

Zim had no clue why their peers made those comments towards Dib, nor why they upset him so much. The two of them were far from being friends- Zim would even say that they were enemies, in some ways- but he wasn’t cruel enough to stoop to that level. While he didn’t’ completely understand why that was a sore spot for him, he never harassed him about it like the others sometimes did. It felt wrong in several ways- not to mention the fact that it was a pathetic move.

Not understanding what it was that he was missing out on and wanting some answers, Zim decided to ask Dib about it.

~~~

Dib and Zim were not friends. They fought almost constantly, practically at war in several aspects. They always did everything in their power to beat the other at every turn, refusing to allow the other to have a single success without putting up a fight. They battled for the title of valedictorian, for the highest grade on each assignment, for the most clever and creative insults and comebacks to said insults, and for the best ideas. To the untrained eye, it seemed as though they hated one another with every fibre of their beings.

That didn’t mean that Dib didn’t pick up on things about the other, though. In fact, in many ways, it made him more attentive to changes in Zim than he was to changes in anyone else. Considering how much of his energy and attention Zim had, it only made sense for Dib to notice things.

They were small day-to-day changes, but, considering Dib’s own history, he couldn’t help but pick up on them.

Zim’s style, though very consistently inconsistent and a chaotic mix of anything and everything he liked- something that Dib couldn’t help but admire at least a little but- seemed to change near daily. One day, he would wear a button-down shirt with a clashing vest and the next day he would wear a dress with fishnet stockings underneath. Zim’s style seemed to vary between feminine, masculine, and androgynous regardless of whether he was wearing something formal or casual.

As someone who had gone through the festive experience of attempting to “subtly” switch between masculine and feminine while figuring out how to comfortably express his gender without getting harassed, Dib couldn’t help to liken it to his own experience. While Zim hadn’t gone to their school when Dib was first beginning to realize and attempt to express his gender, the practice of putting forth a lot of effort into presenting a certain gender for a few days before deciding that was too emotionally taxing and giving up for a few days was… familiar. While DIb couldn’t be certain that Zim was doing what Dib had been doing back then, it was incredibly similar, and he couldn’t help but liken the experiences to one another.

It wasn’t an incredibly strange thing- it wasn’t as though Zim acted or spoke any differently depending on the day- but it was something that had Dib curious. Was Zim transgender as well and struggling with coming out? Was he just experimenting with different styles? Was he just being the weird, chaotic person that he was by keeping his style and presentation up in the air?

Whatever it was, Dib wanted to know, but he didn’t exactly have the opportunity to ask.

That is, until Zim brought something up one day at lunch.

“Why is it that our peers sometimes refer to you as a girl?”

Dib nearly choked on the juice he was drinking, “What-?”

“Why is it that-”

“No, I heard you the first time,” Dib shook his head, clearing his throat. He really wasn’t expecting that question- especially so abruptly- and he didn’t really know how to answer it. “Because people are assholes?”

“Obviously,” Zim rolled his eyes disdainfully, though Dib had a feeling that was directed towards their peers rather than him, “Is there a specific reason, though?”

Zim hadn’t been going to school with them when Dib had still been presenting as female or even when he first came out as trans, but he still assumed that Zim just… knew . Considering everything that his peers did and said to him, he assumed that it was obvious that he wasn’t biologically male. According to them, he didn’t pass very well. Did Zim just not understand the concept of transphobia, or did he genuinely just… not know ? Neither seemed likely, all things considered.

Not completely trusting that Zim wasn’t just dicking with him, Dib narrowed his eyes slightly, “Because I’m trans.”

Zim blinked, seemingly taken aback, before some sort of realization began to dawn on him, “Oooh. So you are a trans woman? Then why does it bother you when-?”

“I- no,” Dib face-palmed, “I’m a transgender guy . I’m a man and they’re going out of their way to misgender me to piss me off.”

Zim’s expression changed completely, anger replacing the confusion, “What the fuck is wrong with people? That’s pathetic.”

Zim wasn’t naive- he knew just as well as Dib that people could be absolute assholes and that they didn’t always need to be provoked to do so. He wasn’t a stranger to harassment from their peers, either, and, considering the fact that they weren’t friends , Dib didn’t completely understand why Zim seemed to care. Regardless, it was nice that at least someone didn’t think what they were doing was okay.

Dib propped his chin up against the palm of his hand, “What about you?”

“Eh?”

“Do people ever go out of their way to do that shit to you when you wear dresses and stuff?”

“Misgender me, you mean?”

Dib nodded.

“Not the same way that they do with you.”

He raised an eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

“Well, when they call me “he” on my femme days, it’s not because they’re trying to be cruel. It’s usually when they actually call me the correct pronouns that they’re intentions are shit.”

“Femme days?” Dib echoed, thinking, “You’re gender-fluid?”

“Was that not obvious?”

“Was it not obvious that I was a trans dude?”

“No, actually.”

Dib blinked, “Really?”

“Yeah,” Zim tilted his head to the side, “You know that when people say those things to you, they’re just trying to upset you, right? None of it is true. You look like a normal guy- well, normal for you .”

Dib rolled his eyes at the insult, but he didn’t take it to heart- he never really did when Zim insulted him. At this point, they had lost their bite. He was more focused on the other things that Zim had said, “Thanks.”

Zim seemed to think for a moment before speaking again, “Do you think that I pass well?”

“Assuming I’m actually guessing which days are which for you? Yeah.” Dib leaned back in his seat, “You’re pretty androgynous already, so you can pull off any look, to be honest.” As much as Dib loathed the concept of complimenting his enemy, they were having a peaceful conversation for the first time in a while and Zim had shown him some kindness as well, so it didn’t feel too strange to say it.

Zim nodded but said nothing and they soon lapsed into a comfortable silence.

After everything that he heard from the others they went to school with, it was nice to hear from a few people that Dib looked like a guy. He couldn’t help but feel a little more comfortable now that he knew this about Zim- as though knowing made sharing his own truth with Zim slightly less vulnerable. Somehow, Zim understanding in his own way made it less awkward. It was nice to have someone in their school who understood- it was nice to have something in common with Zim.

~~~

A few weeks had passed since Dib and Zim had discussed their genders and nothing much had changed. One thing that Dib had noticed was that their peers began to mock and misgender Dib less than usual and it was obvious that this was no mere coincidence.

While it wasn’t obvious to Dib immediately, it soon became clear to him that Zim was actually defending him when people attempted to harass him about being trans.

Initially, Dib had no proof that this was actually happening. It was just a theory of his that Zim had been stepping in when the situations arose, but there were a few things that happened here and there and bits and pieces of conversations that he picked up that made him feel fairly confident that his suspicions were correct.

Dib’s hypothesis was finally confirmed weeks later in one of his classes.

Nothing too out of the ordinary happened. Jessica had gone out of her way to misgender Dib on more than one occasion in the past. Regardless of that, hearing her refer to him as a “she” in front of the entire class and being met with snickers from their peers made his stomach twist with anger and distaste. No matter how many times it had happened, it still hurt.

Dib had never been one to stay quiet about something important to him- hell, he had openly yelled about the paranormal in the middle of class several times when they were back in middle school- but before he could say anything, Zim cut in.

“It’s he , actually, and if you had more than half a brain cell, you would know that.”

Dib blinked, taken aback, and so did Jessica- though he was certain they had completely different reasons for doing so.

Jessica turned on Zim immediately, fixing him with a glare, “What did you just say?”

Zim leaned in and narrowed his eyes as well, not at all deterred by her attempted threat, “I said Dib is a he and, if you had-”

“I heard you the first time.”

“Oh, really? I couldn’t tell,” Zim tilted his head, “Your expression is so constantly vacant that it’s almost impossible to tell when anything actually gets through your thick skull.”

Just as Jessica’s boyfriend stood up from his seat to intervene- almost definitely violently- Ms. Bitters cut in, “That’s enough! Everyone sit down and be quiet.”

Both Jessica and her boyfriend shot Zim glares but did as told. Zim just smirked, satisfied with how things had turned out.

Dib couldn’t help but gape at the entire scene before him. Zim- his rival and archenemy- had just stood up for him publicly . While Dib had had a hunch that Zim had been trying to help somehow, he hadn’t expected to see such an open expression of it- especially not against one of the more popular and easily agitated people they went to school with. Dib was genuinely surprised.

When Zim caught his gaze, he gave Dib a pleased, somewhat smug grin- probably at least a little proud of himself for shocking Dib so genuinely. Dib could practically hear Zim teasing him about the “stupid look” on his face.

Dib rolled his eyes, trying to seem nonchalant. It was hard to pretend that what happened hadn’t been a big deal, though, when the warmth spreading through Dib’s chest was so pleasant and prominant.

~~~

Zim hadn’t expected Dib’s reaction to seeing him correct Jessica in front of their class, but he would be lying if he said that the look on Dib’s face didn’t make him happy. There was something about bringing Dib joy that made Zim feel good as well, regardless of their stance as foes… plus the stupid look on Dib’s face was perfect .

That wasn’t the only thing that Zim hadn’t anticipated coming out of the situation, though.

A few days after the incident with Jessica, Zim twisted in the correct combination for his locker to gather some of the books he would need for his next class. When he did so, though, he was met with something that hadn’t been there the previous day.

Sitting atop his other belongings was an envelope labelled with his name on the front. There was a small bulge in the package, showing that there was something more than just a note hidden within the crumpled paper.

Raising an eyebrow curiously, Zim picked up the envelope, books forgotten.

He peeled back the seal before shaking the contents out into his hands. The colourful beads that tumbled from the paper almost slipped through Zim’s fingers and clattered to the ground, but he managed to catch them to avoid that disaster. Alongside them was a small slip of paper.

Setting aside the note and the envelope, Zim unclenched his fist, revealing the beads so he could take a closer look at them.

They were not, in fact, loose beads. Instead, they were three different bracelets, each made of differently coloured glass and stone beads with a single silver bead on each of them. One bracelet was fuchsia and rose quartz with a silver space ship on it, another made of amethyst and violet stones with a single rocket bead, and the last a bright mix of chartreuse and emerald beads with an alien charm.

Zim blinked, holding them up to the light so he could get a better look at them. The glass beads shone pleasantly and the silver charms on each one shimmered happily. He couldn’t deny that they were beautifully crafted.

After a moment of examining and admiring them, Zim turned his attention back to the slip of paper that had accompanied the pieces of jewellery within the envelope.

Hey, Space Boy. I saw something online about some gender-fluid people wear different bracelets corresponding to what pronouns they want people to use for them on certain days and I thought these could be helpful for you. I wasn’t sure what colours to use, but you wear pink, purple, and green a lot, so I figured they would be a safe bet. If you want to use them, tell me which ones correspond to which pronouns or whatever so I get it right.

- D.M.

Zim couldn’t help but grin. He’d thought about doing something similar in the past, but hadn’t acted on it, not really anticipating anyone actually respecting it. This gift from Dib, though, proved that at least one person would and, as ridiculous as that seemed, it brightened Zim’s day.

Smile still playing across his lips, Zim slipped on the green bracelet before carefully tucking away the other two in the front pocket of his backpack, irritation briefly dissipating at the thought that someone did care.

The beautiful cover art for this story was draw by @sams-art-shit​!

I originally posted the fic here on Archive of Our Own. If you liked this, it’s part of a small series, so please check it out, if you’re interested!

[hyunsuks-beanie]

Hi hi! I've been stanning Stray Kids for a good while now and have switched bias like four times so I would love to see who you would pair me up with as a ship! :)

My pronouns are she/her and I'm 20 years old, a taurus!

Growing up I've always been an ambitious good student, very career-focused (the type to lock myself in my room to study instead of meeting up friends if a test is coming up lol) so I'm often attracted to people who are smart or passionate about what they do - someone with big dreams and works hard to get there. I do have large circle of friends as meeting new people and socializing come easy to me but deep down I enjoy smaller gatherings with super close friends much more (like a chill movie night rather than going to parties). I generally seem extroverted but I do have a social battery with its limit and sometimes I just need to be alone and recharge with a good book or a show.

I'm the person people go to for advice whether it's school work, job applications, or general life advice as I always seem to have everything together. However the truth is I actually get quite stressed and stuck sometimes but in those cases I prefer to just stay home and suffer through it alone until it is over. Someone who can make me laugh and allow myself to be vulnerable to them would be so ideal!

To people who I am less close with I come off as very chill and leaning towards the career-focused ambitious/competitive type but with close friends I am a bit of a crackhead and love to laugh! Most of my friend group consists of males as I have a tougher demeanour and wicked humour that gets along better with them but deep down I'm a big softie: I get easily emotional and will cry during sad movies or even cute videos of small animals oof. I'm also on the shorter side physically and am quite weak so someone who can make me feel safe and protected is really attractive to me.

I love love food and cooking/baking is a regular past time to me. I also love nature and hiking, binging Masterchef, and having deep conversations about the universe at 3AM. My energy levels can vary a LOT so someone who can match that would be great: like they'd be down to just stay home under blankets on some days but also go on all the scary rides with me at the amusement park /kayak until our arms fall off on others. I am quite a cuddle-bug and can be very touchy: my love language is definitely either cooking or gifting something small that the person loves or just sleeping next to them/cuddling. I would 100% support their dreams, listen to all their troubles, and mother them to death - make sure they're eating well, sleeping well, etc.

My dislikes: people who have no ambition, disloyalty, over-judgemental behaviour, people who look down at others or treat certain groups of people with no respect. Humility, kindness, and openness are HUGE musts for me.

So excited to hear your thoughts!! Stay safe and hope you have a wonderful week~~

-Cat

Hey there Cat!! First off, I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting😭😭I've just been mad busy these past 3 days.

But let's try and ship you with someone now, yeah? But first off, I'd LOVE to know who your bias and ex-biases in SKZ are hehe. I myself changed biases from Hyun to Chan, and even now, I have a HUGE soft spot for Felix and often end up being confused over whether or not he's actually my bias😅😅

Okay so, I know this may seem cliché, but I really think Chan would be the best fit for you if we're talking SKZ. Like you, he too seems to have his life together at first glance, but he often is too hard on himself bc he just wants to do what's best for him and for the group as a whole. He's the type to always know what to say to and what advice to give to people who are in need of help, but at the same time, he can be quite clueless when it comes to helping himself out. Not professionally of course, he knows what he's doing and what he wants to do. I'm talking emotionally, bc he often says his emotions are all over the place and he has trouble actually explaining them. So seeing you describe yourself, I think you are wise enough to help him vent out and get his shit together. And trust me when I say this, he'll do the same for you.

He's known as one of the social butterflies of the KPop industry, but at his roots, I see him as a person who'd much rather have a few closer and deeper ties than be known by everyone. And since you're the same, I believe you'll be able to become special enough for each other, and once he gets to level o connect with you, he won't let go. He's also the type to really be into anything when it comes to couple activities. If you wanna go outdoors, he'll be ready before you can say "go," but if you're in the mood to stay home and binge-watch cringy stuff, he'll be down for that too. He loves to eat, and being the helpful soul he is, he will try his best to help you cook if you decide to. Since you say you'll listen to his troubles, I feel that he will be able to let loose in front of you at last, something that he often doesn't do in front of the members bc he just wants to be their support.

Even your dislikes seem to match with his, and if you're looking for someone who's kind and humble, he really is gonna be your person.

Hope you like this, and hope you stay safe and have a great day!!💖💖

[mylittlegemlins]

STEVINEL IS NOT PEDOPHILE (AND IS BAD SAY IT)

Hello everyone 💖

Index:

introduction

inspiration

-pedophilia

- biological age

- mental age

- age of gems

-case spinel

-conclusion.

Today I finally got the inspiration from multiple publications stating that stevinel is in fact a pedophile ship and therefore we should not support it. Since I am a multishiper and I am very much in love with spinel I could not miss the opportunity to defend this ship to cloak and dagger.

Many of these comments I saw in the English fandom and the truth is that the debate did not seem to go anywhere like:

-is a pedophile ship one has 6000 and 17

-the gems are ageless.

[And I didn't really see that they would get anywhere, especially with a lot of immature people insulting most of the time and let's admit that comments from networks like Instagram or Twitter are not the best place to debate

Let's start by getting some concepts straight: Pedophilia :

Sexual attraction of an adult to a child of either sex. (google dictionary) This means that there must be a crush on a person who is (usually) considered an adult at 18 years of age or older and a minor who can be a baby from 5 years old to a puberty of about 14 years old, and between an adult + 20 years old and a teenager - 18 years old. Pedophilia does not occur among people who are at the same stage of life. Like two teenagers or two adults even if their ages seem far apart, see the case of two adults whose age difference is between 30 and 50 years.

Biological age

Biological age is marked by the number of years since your birth that your body and mind develop and change. We human beings have clear concepts of life stages, we know when childhood, adolescence, adulthood and old age begin. There are even approximate ages where one has to consider oneself an adult. Like 18 or 21 years old.

And a number of behaviors are expected depending on your age, for example if you've had a brother or a cousin and you've seen it since you were a baby you may have seen one of these little brochures of what a healthy child should do depending on his age. Mental age Mental age is measured by a person's intellect and knowledge, which may or may not coincide with biological age.

Since biological age is expected to coincide with mental age and healthy development is usually measured only by the time a person has lived. Now, how does this work for gems? According to the concepts of the series a gem is literally a stone with a physical form of light, like a hologram with mass, these share many characteristics of humans such as being able to think, feel emotions and imitate some actions that naturally do not need to do like eating and sleeping. In humans it is very easy to measure age only by the amount of time since birth, because they change, and as the pink diamond itself showed. Gems can change but they don't need to.

The gems society is characterized by having a defined and static role and if you don't comply with it you are dead. Let's start with the mental age: In the diamond society everything worked in a very simple way, if you were born and you had to be a mechanic, you will be one for the rest of your life, since you are born with the necessary knowledge to fulfill this role. You don't need to learn new things unless it is about mechanics since you will not dedicate yourself to anything else, you don't need to alter your physical form since you are not allowed to, you don't need to change since you must fulfill your work and nothing else.

Your mental age remains completely stagnant because it does not have the need to mature just to fulfill your work, the gems are born with the ability to speak, communicate and interpret ideas, as is the case of Ruby Leggy, who was born one day when he left for his first mission.

Biological age :

The same Pearl confirmed that the gems cannot be babies, nor to age, reason why the babys and the old age do not exist for the gems. To the being its body only a projection of light the form that can acquire is very varied and changes of radical way in some occasions, although the form that represents an adult woman, this form changes radically depending on the class of gems, lapis lazuli and pearl have a body formed of a young woman, the quartz gems have a much more muscular and robust body that is made much to a physical-culturalist man.

The clearest example of a male gem is Topaz, since anyone would think he was a man until the moment they heard his voice, and even though the rutile twins use the female pronouns have a masculine appearance.

Gems like Fluorite are represented as a much older woman, even though their components may all be young.

She speaks very slowly due to the amount of gems that have to process the information within her mind.

And gems like Padparadcha have a much younger and smaller appearance, like some girls, compared to Sapphire because of her behavior Not to mention gems that are literally rocks and walls that are impossible to classify. All of these exaggeratedly different shapes make people interpret gems with different ages based on their behavior and appearance.

amethyst is the example of a growing gem, perhaps the fact that it is defective has a lot to do with it, she crawls in her first seconds of life during the film and imitates everyone like an infant trying to form her personality from others, she had a much sweeter and smaller appearance in Greg and Rose's flashbacks, being carried by Perla and hiding behind Rose's lack, Rebecca confirms on a podcast that Rose was like a mother to amethyst, if the gems were adults without exception, why would an adult need a mother figure of another adult?

Her outfit accompanies her as she has comfortable clothes and a skirt, she behaves like a teenage big sister figure for Steven during the series by accompanying him, at the same time that he allows himself to mock and fight with him, having that love / hate relationship that many people with brothers can understand and as an adult when reaching the future.

Peridot is represented in a very childish way too, the people who ship stevidot did it because they saw a kid, suddenly she was the same size as Steven, she behaved childishly and Mr. Smile called her kid, so far it was only confirmed that It was from era 2, so it could be both 5000 and 5 years old.

Probably the gems need to get along as a team, if they have to coexist with many other gems, but in theory this does not go beyond a coexistence or friendship of work colleagues since dependence or romance leads to sentimentality, which for the mother planet is useless and even harmful. In short, from birth all their social and intellectual development is truncated and they cannot mature So for most gems on homeworld their mental age is almost the same from birth to destruction.

This was demonstrated with Peridot and lapis in the episode "The New Crystal Gems" Both are gems from the mother planet, one knew how to terraform planets and the other had extensive knowledge of engineering, however they fought over who was to blame for their failure using insults like "foolish" and comparing themselves with other people, a very childish behaviour. So much so that a human thousands of years younger had to correct them. Within the series we were unable to confirm if peridot and lapis had a team to socialize with. So it is likely that throughout their lives they have not had the need to socialize and live together, or even accept their mistakes. Peridot seemed like a child prodigy with so many scenes of childish behavior and her high knowledge of what she was assigned, while other gems like pink diamond were born as immature children and it took her millennia to reach maturity.

With the case of spinel it is completely different. In her introduction stanza she says "her cut is perfect and she is pink too, she will give you endless entertainment, your new spinel best friend" that and together with what later says pearl "she was the little pink diamond playmate". It gives us an idea of what spinel used to look like.

It even strikes me that pearl refers to her as "little playmate" giving the impression that some gems are considered bigger than others based on their rank/trade or size.

First, let's remember that Spinel is literally based on a cuddly toy that Rebecca loved but forgot in a garden and when she returned after a year her belly was black from the fading sun, the doll was in the same place but had already been permanently damaged. Rebecca wanted her character to feel old as "stuck in time" that's why she uses Ruben Hose style animation from the 30's and later in future she uses references to 90's video games to give the feeling that she grew up since she left the earth but she still keeps an old and animated essence.

Spinel is a gem that was born perfectly fine and flawless, besides being literally a living cartoon like a lonnytoon, was created only with knowledge of gameplay and fun to eternally entertain its owner, and that was all she cared about, making her best friend happy .

She was practically a child, all she cared about was playing and being happy with her best friend, something that a neuro-typical adult would not do. She spends most of the movie without leaving Steven's side, even when she sees that he is depressed she can't think of a way to comfort him and just tries to make him laugh, instead of asking him about the problem and trying to provide him with a solution. I can't help but think that she was playing the whole time, from her fight in her evil form and the time she was in her friendly form with the rest of the gems, since almost every battle consists of dodging the attacks as if she were playing tag, and using the gems as dolls or balls. He even says he doesn't want to play anymore when he's done with Steven 💔

And after being stuck in the garden doing nothing but waiting without moving, the phrase "stuck in time" becomes more literal since by doing absolutely nothing but thinking there is no change or maturity. It is not until after the trauma that she goes into a fit of thinking she has changed for the worse, but she was not thinking reasonably at that time. Her best friend left her and she wanted to kill a whole planet. What was she going to do after she succeeded? How would she get back to the mother planet where we had killed a new diamond?

After the film she goes on with her life with the diamonds, the series did not deepen much in her development so she seems to be better, even after her scars manifested in tears and dark circles she still maintains an energetic personality, excited and wanting to help even if it is with a stupid song. Spinel is certainly not close to looking like a mature adult for her 6000 years of age, like many other gems.

As for her physical form I am not 100% sure what age she is approaching as the designs of the gems are very varied and extravagant. She has an adorable and childish design, like a cuddly toy, her height is in fact almost the same as Steven's (17 years old) and she also has good hips in some scenes. I would say that her shape resembles that of a young girl.

Even people who are not very familiar with the series might classify her as a child or a teenager, but not as an adult. Because the logic of the human body and biological age cannot be applied to gemstones, this is the reason why many ships Stevenx gem are so popular, but adult human x Steven don't exist at all. Because they know that age only applies to humans.

I know I've focused a lot on Spinel but because of Steven being half human there's not much mystery.

His physical form literally fits his mental age. Let's also remember that Steven is not 14 anymore, he was 16 at the time of the movie and 17 in the middle of the Future series, there were many time jumps within this series and I think the longest one was right at the end, where it had been months since the collapse and since he started therapy, when he finally decided to move he could perfectly have been 18, which is the age to become independent, at least in the USA, he is not a child, he is starting his young adult stage, just 4 years old from the age Greg was when he fell in love with Rose.

Conclusion.

Even if he were 17, he can drive, he can move, he can be independent and choose his own path, he had just left the nest and that is called being a conscious adult. Besides the fact that the separation of 18 years is used only for consent to sexual relationships before the law, but in practice it is the approximate age at which a person should already mark his maturity, that you like ships with minors is not a justification for drawing nsfw with minor characters, and it is not intended to defend that in any way in this blog, ships like the conniverse can work without +18 content in the same way that stevinel can have content without +18.

The gems can have an age but it is not at all similar to that of humans, since by the circumstances you are can remain stagnant during millennia or change in few years, the same for their physical form since you are not able to acquire a form of baby or old people, and its body remains of the same size throughout all its life, except for cases like the one of Rose/Pink.

I know that there are many people who don't like stevinel because it is toxic or because there is conniverse and I won't say that it isn't because the blog is not about that.

I know some will say that "but they are adults, no matter how they look, act and be like children." Well, it does matter, since we are talking about immortal aliens who are not born, grow, reproduce, or die.

The cartoons do not always represent human beings realistically, much less immortal characters. In fantasy a child can have a highly developed body or a PhD, and an adult can transform into a child with time machines and grow twice.

The fact that Steven falls in love with a gem whose shape resembles that of his age is as healthy as Greg, who fell in love with a gem in a physical form similar to women of his age, Who should have the appearance and maturity of an elderly woman for her millions of years, but the fact that she acts and looks like an adult is what makes her an adult character. His cousin Andy confirmed that he has always liked big women, so he could have fallen in love with Rose 4 years earlier too.

Spinel does not have to exercise a power relationship over Steven, her dependence arises from the fear of being abandoned and not because she is jealous of her other friends, when she leaves with the diamonds, it is seen that she is not attached to them all the time. He gives himself the freedom to meet new people through the halls of the palace and leave the diamonds alone when requested, proving that he is capable of changing for the better just as Steven told him.

So the relationship could work if the right circumstances are given, such as in the AU where fans give themselves the freedom to invent scenarios where the spinel does not try to kill him, where Steven is of legal age, where both are human, etc. And so with many other ships that can go from toxic to healthy in a few fanfic chapters.

We must not forget that it is a caricature and that everyone can have fun shiping characters. Unfortunately this age argument has become a bad excuse to hate a shipp or the people behind it.

And it's wrong to say this because reducing such a strong theme to something childish, fictional and fantasy can be considered an offense to the victims that exist in real life, this myth has given rise to what real people who cannot enjoy their tastes and what others find a perfect excuse to be haters without measuring their words.

Both children and adults do not perceive an adult and a child in relationships involving immortal characters even after knowing the series, this was never the first thought of someone who saw the characters together, in fact it was 5 months from the release of the film before I found out that someone was calling the relationship "pedophilia".

Because they don't grow linearly like humans do. Unlike relationships between human characters of a more realistic appearance as happened with Danny PantomxVlad where they can see first sight who is the adult and who is the child.

What they can see with the naked eye is how well accepted it is to insult the likes of others, that it's okay to be made to feel bad for making the terrible mistake of liking a ship, and that you have the right to insult the likes of others. if they do the same with yours. Which is too present in the Steven Universe fandom.

So no, they are not protecting children from pedophilia in the SU fandom, they are harming real children at the cost of trying to protect a fictional young man, making them insecure of their tastes, giving them the tools necessary to hate someone to death, and making them accept that their tastes are terrible and they must swallow them even if they are not doing anything wrong.

Accusing innocent people of pedophiles, liking or promoting pedophilia is not something you can take so lightly, also it should be illegal if everyone can be a pedophile for simple and innocent things, the word loses its meaning and the subject is taken too lightly, reducing the severity of actual pedophilia and causing serios problems for people who ate wrongfully accused.

They both look good together to me and I can still enjoy comics and pictures of them together, and those who don't, live with it, and enjoy your favorite ship.

Well I really hope you liked this, I can't believe it's 14 thousand characters, remember that insulting comments will be deleted or blocked. Thank you so much for watching :3

[spaceacethespookypan]

Space Aces Overview

These are my OCs that I write about practically exclusively with side/minor characters ever so often.

This also my own art.

Aeson Enfield

Aec.

Non-binary, they/them pronouns.

Panromantic asexual.

Dyes their hair all the time.

Grumpy child.

Introvert.

Kind of quiet. Does talk. But mostly when spoken to or when they just can’t hold back their thoughts.

Artistic. If it were a college AU they’d be an arts major.

A very creative child.

Very intelligent.

Big nerd.

Kind of mean. And very sarcastic.

Not quite depressed but susceptible to it.

Very loyal.

Affectionate like a cat.

Comes off cold. Isn’t. Just doesn’t have intense emotional reactions most of the time.

Kind of tired a lot.

Not a chaotic person alone but pair them with just the right person and chaos will reign.

Very protective and possessive of Ace.

Confrontational. Will not hold back.

Eyebrow piercing (just the one eyebrow), ear piercings (4), lip piercing.

Hoodies or t-shirts. That’s the aesthetic.

Alistair Fawcett

Ace.

Cis male, he/him pronouns.

Pansexual.

Also dyes his hair all the time.

Happy child.

Extrovert.

Very talkative. Social butterfly.

STEM boy. A very techy, sciency boy. If it were a college AU he would be a biology major minoring in chemistry and physics.

Just a very smart boy in general.

Big nerd.

Passionate.

Very polite boy.

Super kind.

Insecure though. Low self-esteem.

Generally anxious (general anxiety disorder/social anxiety).

Very loyal to his loved ones.

Affectionate like a dog (metaphorically).

Level-headed under pressure.

Intense emotional expression.

Will fight back if you mess with his friends or Aec.

Eyebrow piercing (just the one eyebrow), ear piercings (4), lip piercing.

Hoodies or t-shirts. That’s the aesthetic.

Overview of how I write them

I write stand-alone AUs of these two.

I try to specify if two fics are in the same universe or not.

Will include but not limited to two side characters: Silas and Sylvie.

They are also dating. Both boys. They have their own story I won’t be posting here. (Unless . . . ?)

My Space Aces can vary in age depending on the setting but their standard age is 19.

These two OCs are like my vent OCs and so I’ve made them flexible to fit any sort of scenario that I want. That’s the reason if they come off as inconsistent in my writing. I don't wanna stress about "staying in character."

Everything is completely my own content and ideas unless I use prompts in which case the prompts aren’t mine but my take on them is.

I drew these characters myself and don’t have a consistent art style but this is what my Space Aces look like. I drew all these (and many more) at widely different times so that's why nothing looks the same but I hope you can see the identifying characteristics.

[ciceroprofacto]

Planning to Write #8

Step 8: Clean up your mess.

So. Editing. 

Because we’ve covered it in the portion about writing, I’m going to assume you paid attention to the descriptions, timeline, dialogue, and narration as you wrote. I’m going to focus in on the elements of content and structure that you’ll need to go in and tighten up. By this point, you shouldn’t need to make huge changes that send you back to the drawing board, but be prepared to make big cuts, and be prepared for it to take time because the whole idea of editing is- Nothing is perfect.

You should be ready to destroy everything you’ve created if you have the chance to make something better. When you’re editing, you’re gonna check everything you were planning to do and everything you actually did.

Mark Twain~ “I apologize for such a long letter - I didn't have time to write a short one.”

I suggest you read through twice. The first time for content, and the second time for structure.

1. Content

Three points that should build on each other progressively:

Flow- Does the plot still make sense? Does the story fit into it? 

Consistency- Does the plot mean what you planned it to? Is the story sympathetic (regardless of whether it’s relatable)? Do the themes ring true?

Coherence- Does it all come together to some clear meaning? Is it appealing to the right audience?

A good suggestion might be rewriting your timeline as you read to compare it to your plan- note any changes and see if they’re enhancing the story or not. 

2. Structure

1.  Know the rules. Know when to break them.

Back to the quote from last post- to break the rules of grammar, you have to know them. When I say break the rules, I mean- ensure that your use of language- and the places where you deliberately break grammatical rules are all linguistic choices that are unique and meaningful. That requires some expertise. We’re looking for functional grammar- so without getting too academic, some tips:

Verbs: it’s more important to know the forms of verbs than the functions of verbs. How to conjugate them correctly so you’re staying in the same tense and using the right plural or singular. How to use its active versus passive form, its participles, gerund, and imperative.

Noun: English doesn’t decline nouns, but I encourage you to learn what the concept means. There are a lot of positions and roles that nouns fulfill in a sentence and they’re very unique and important.

Adjectives and Adverbs: to be respected and used sparingly. There’s nothing worse than repetitive descriptions- get it right the first time. That being said, don’t be scared of these, I’m so sick of advice posts telling writers to cut all words that end in ‘ly’. If it adds something important to the verb or noun, use it.

Pronouns, Prepositions, Conjunctions, Interjections, Numerals, and Articles

Punctuation 

2.  Stronger not longer.

The goal is to slow the reader down. Make every word important so that the reader will feel obligated to read each one.

More action, less description. 

Stronger verbs replacing verb+adverb pairs.

Shorter, simpler words whenever you can.

Varying the length of your sentences and clauses.

Cutting scenes that aren’t necessary.

3. Saying what you mean.

Structure

if you used temporal jumps or broke the action in any way, does it accomplish what you need it to thematically? Is it punctuated in the text that makes it clear what’s happening. 

Do your chapters break at the right points?

Point of View

Is your narration accomplishing what you need it to? 

If you’re speaking in third- is the narration conveying the right tone? 

If you’re speaking in first- is the narration characterizing your narrator correctly? Are they speaking with an appropriate voice and using appropriate words?

Message

Is the Theme clear?

Do the implications of your scenes and the characters’ choices point to the right conclusions about your story’s message?

Is it morally-valuable or not? Is that important to you?

4. Getting it across.

Language

Reading level

Proper usage of homonyms.

Anachronisms 

Fantasy-language

Lingo vs. jargon vs. slang vs. colloquialism vs. vernacular.

Redundancy

Is it necessary?

Is it appropriate?

Is it well-employed?

Jenna Morici’s critique of writing quirks covers a lot of good stuff to consider for editing. Her whole channel is pretty good.