#the president is... blegh

[malakhim]

diary (close friends story)

[rainbowgod666]

Even the gemini home entertainment ARG doesnt do this- THE COMPUTER IS HOOKED UP TO THE BIGGER-THAN-FUCKING-JUPITER ALIEN HIVEMIND SOMETHING.

By the old ones what and why the fuck

Scrolling my news feed today and the Algorithm has somehow decided I would be interested in the history of "computer-generated poetry". Don't care if it turned out to be a criticism of AI (unlikely, given the headline) but the very word turned my stomach.

"Computer-generated poetry." Jesus fuck how does your very soul not curdle.

[xnervouscircus]

i only made it about halfway through the rwrb movie before i had to concede it was every bit as cringey as i'd feared it would be and i genuinely couldn't handle any more of it

like even wayyyyyy way back when i first knew it was going to be a movie and we didn't have casting news or anything yet, i already figured that taking the emotional slowburn that plays out over 400 pages and cutting it down into a 90-120 minute movie was gonna. well. suck. i've recently accepted that i largely dislike movies bc everything happens too fast, especially wrt romance. and yep this boiled down alex & henry's relationship to warp speed montage moments before they are In Love and ughhhh it's just boring and bland and makes me wish i could hack am*zon and put a watermark over the whole movie that says "JUST READ THE FUCKING BOOK" (not that the book is like a+ but it's adorable and a lot of fun and it's a comfort book in a way the movie could never ever be a comfort movie)

THEY CUT JUNE ENTIRELY?? AND CUT OUT THE FACT THAT ALEX'S PARENTS ARE DIVORCED? IT'S A KING INSTEAD OF A QUEEN OF ENGLAND???? just. blegh. so many weird changes like that that i knew i should expect bc book-to-screen adaptions almost always have to be so inexplicably WEIRD but i still hate it all. i'm sure the latter two were changed to make it somehow more widely appealing?? or some dumb shit like that?? which uh. the kind of people who would watch a movie with explicit gay sex would not care that the president is a divorcee and the homophobic ruler of england is a woman. MOST OF US ALREADY READ THE BOOK. and literally why cut june out entirely. alex lost a whole sister. the fuck.

i also hated that they made alex's reasons for "hating" henry so one-note and petty, though i guess more-so i hated how short and trivial the whole cupboard talk was. like yeah the first meeting was awful and justifiable enough to hold a grudge, but that whole cupboard talk had been The Turning Point so shaving it down so much just made everything else about their relationship ring false and blah.

the politics were bland, the dialogue was bland, the acting was bland, i'm sorry everything was just. bleeeeeegh. i mean even the best bits of dialogue they kept from the book were ruined bc i'm sorry but i really do not at all like the actors they chose for alex and henry. the way they read the texts and emails was like they were high school bullies reading the gay kid's messages out loud to the class it all just sounded. mocking and cold and WEIRD.

i only made it to the part where alex comes out to his mom and i tried to be happy about the whole "the b isn't silent" thing but it was just another in a collection of dialogue that was all tired, overused lines. (though to be fair to the movie and critical of myself, that isn't the kind of line that makes it to mainstream much, if ever. it just still feels like a really lazy line. idk. i was just sick to death of the dialogue by that point so what should've been a nice line to hear just didn't land for me at all. all the political dialogue was so hackneyed i was just like "why do you all hate uma thurman so much" lol poor woman had nothing to work with with those lines)

another book that tragically does not survive the to-screen adaption. ah well. i think i will palate cleanse with some go2 before i pass out

[saratogaroadwrites]

For King and Country (64/122)

For King and Country | saratogaroad rating: T total wordcount:  280,466 characters: Evan Pettiwhisker Tildrum, Roland Crane, Aranella, Batu, Tani, Lofty, Leander Aristidies, Bracken Meadows relationships: Roland Crane & Evan Pettiwhisker Tildrum, Aranella & Evan Pettiwhisker Tildrum, Roland Crane & Aranella, Batu & Tani, Batu & Evan, Tani & Evan, Evan Pettiwhisker Tildrum & Lofty, Rolander other tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Mother-Son Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Place Slowly Becomes Home People Slowly Become Family, Found Family, For Want of A Nail warnings: none

Pulled from his world by mysterious powers, former president Roland Crane finds himself caught in the middle of a coup meant to take the life of the young King Evan Pettiwhisker Tildrum. Joining forces with Aranella, the pair of them set out to aid Evan in making his dream of a kingdom where everyone can live happily ever after a reality.

But the road to peace is a long and treacherous one and there is no promise of success in a world where darkness spreads ever thicker with each passing day. If they are to stand a chance, they must stand together, for king and for country.

(A retelling.)

=

“Blegh!” Tani exclaimed, ripping the makeshift mask off of her face and taking a heaving gasp for air. “We are never doing that again, do you hear me? Never!”

Roland couldn’t help but agree with her. Evan was caught up in the middle of a sneezing fit, too busy trying to breathe to give her anything but a miserable nod, and the others didn’t look much better. They had made landfall on the southern shore of Autumnia’s northern half just before dawn that morning, all of them glad to see solid land after a month at sea.

None of them, however, had been expecting to see the swamp of toxic green muck that had lay between their ship and Broadleaf proper. There had been no way around it, and only Batu’s quick thinking of cloth masks lined with some of the dried, unprepared Soreaway had let them pass through the poisonous cloud of gas and vapors the swamp had been emitting. Unfortunately, not even the fragrant herbal smell of the little plant had been enough to handle the stench. It clung to them like a pall, horribly acrid even to Roland’s nose. He couldn’t imagine Evan was handling it well.

Judging by how the boy was rubbing at his eyes with the heels of his palms, growling low and quiet, he was probably right.

“We’ll have to,” Evan rasped, causing Batu and Lofty to both groan. The Higgledies milling at Evan’s feet sagged at their waists and bent over. “We can’t just leave Ketch and his crew back there.”

“That’s—that isn’t—” Tani sputtered, then buried her face in her hands and groaned loudly. “Why did you have to start making sense, Evan?”

Evan laughed sheepishly. Shaking his head, Roland pulled off his mask as he looked around. From the outside, Broadleaf had towered over the dead and dry Sequoia Valley, the tallest thing for miles around. A tree made out of metal and glass, it creaked and groaned in the twilight winds. Up ahead, the gush of steam through pipes hissed at the edges of Roland’s hearing, the air only slightly cleaner than what they had just walked through. The acrid stench of poison was fading, replaced by the perhaps worsening smell of burnt oil and thick blackness of coal smog. A sneeze tickled at the back of Roland’s nose as the group headed for the stairs.

“What could have caused all of that,” Leander asked quietly; when Roland turned, the man’s eyes were back on the way they had come in. The Valley was turning brown and dark in the fading light of evening behind them. “Not just the swamp, but the damage to the land itself. Surely this isn’t sustainable.”

“It’s not,” Roland replied, turning away to cough. He waved off Leander’s concern, stuffing his mask into his arms band. “That green goop was industrial runoff of some kind, I think. A byproduct of science getting out of hand.” Too far out of hand, he thought. He’d only ever seen that color in Trevor’s cartoons before, an overdramatic rendering of…radiation.

Oh.

Roland shuddered. Tove crooned softly into his ear as he took a deep breath, shoving the thought into a box in the back of his mind. Now wasn’t the time to deal with that.

“It’s basically poisoning the land. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s done the same to the people, too.”

“Yes,” Leander said, his eyes narrowed pensively. “Though I will admit, I am surprised you are not one of them.” When Roland blinked, confused, Leander spread his hands. “You mentioned you were sensitive to Darkness. Do you not sense any here?”

Suddenly aware that there was no pressure building at the base of his skull, no one playing drums with his brain, Roland startled. He glanced sideways at Tove, but the little Higgledy looked back at him and shook his head. He wasn’t shielding Roland from anything now.

Just ahead of them, walking at Evan’s feet, Lofty went stiff.

“Ah, knickers,” he hissed. The three Higgledies that had been crowding around him had also gone stiff, and they all looked a little concerned. Evan glanced down at his Kingmaker.

“Lofty?” he asked, “What is it?”

“What I was afraid of, mun,” Lofty said, “There’s Dark here, but it ‘en’t Doloran’s muck. It’s…” He trailed off, looking at his hands. “…This 'en’t good.”

“Perhaps not,” Aranella said, “but if the Darkness here does not belong to Doloran, doesn’t that mean that he hasn’t gotten here yet?” She looked over the group, “Or established himself even if he is here? We might still be able to keep him from stealing President Vector’s Kingsbond.”

Evan pressed a hand to his heart, clearly relieved, but Roland wasn’t so sure. They had all seen Doloran appear and disappear in a wash of shadows. Even if this Darkness wasn’t his, what would stop him from taking advantage of it and just appearing the second that Vector was found wanting? Nothing much at all. It would actually be the smarter thing to do.

It would have been what Roland would have done, if he’d been the one stealing Kingsbonds.

He shuddered again.

“We must speak with President Vector,” Evan said; Roland jolted out of his thoughts as the boy continued, “And warn him. Before things can escalate any further. And—” Before he could finish, a massive sneeze ripped its way out of him. He floundered back a step, the Higgledies at his feet leaping out of the way with startled cries. Everyone stared at him, and then Tani put a hand to her mouth and laughed.

“Evan!” She giggled, “You have to be able to talk without sneezing first!”

“I know that!” Evan said, sniffling in a very undignified manner. Pulling a handkerchief from his arms band, he blew his nose before tucking it away. “L-let’s just head up and take a look around. See if we can’t figure out what’s going on here.”

It was as sound a plan as any. Their footsteps clanked on the stairs as they headed up a level, falling into their usual formation with practiced ease. This was the only thing that kept them from crashing into another when they all came to an unceremonious stop at the top of the stairs, looking around with wide eyes and dropped mouths.

Holy…, Roland thought.

Broadleaf was like something out of a science fiction book, all metal and glowing neon screens lit with green. Hissing steam burst out of open pipes in patterned regularity, clouding the humid air even further. Windows cut into the sides of what must have been the trunk of the tree allowed hazy light to pass through its hollowed out center, but the lights built into the sides of walls and houses built into the walls them selves lit more than the sun ever could. A massive flight of stairs curved up the side of the tree, leading so far up that Roland couldn’t see the top.

“The ‘eck is this place?!” Lofty burst out, bouncing up to Evan’s shoulder and looking this way and that. “’Ow can anybody live without the sun and the dirt and the wind?!”

Maybe they couldn’t. Maybe that was part of the problem here.

“They would be quite cranky, apparently,” Aranella said. Her footsteps made softer noises as she padded back over to the group from where she had slipped away unnoticed. She gestured back behind her as she said, “Those two men were talking about a protest taking place on the top level. An Anti-Vector protest.” She eyed Roland; he inclined his head at her unanswered question.

No happy people would protest their leader. The question thus became: why were they so unhappy? Batu snorted.

“Aye,” he rumbled, “I’d wager we’ll find our man up at that there protest. What say you, yer Majesty?”

Evan nodded.

“Everyone,” he said, looking back over the group, “Stay close, and be careful.” His hands clenched into fists at his sides. “I’m getting a bad feeling about this.”

He wasn’t the only one. But there was no time to listen to the bad feelings or twisting guts. At a hurried pace, the Delegation made their way up the stairs, a flimsy guard rail the only thing between them and a lengthy fall back down. Batu kept himself between the kids and the drop as they trotted up the stairs, a muffled roar of voices rising in volume the higher up they got. One of Evan’s ears twitched.

“…We’re not slaves?” he parroted quietly, head cocked. “What does that mean?”

“I’m not sure,” Roland said, steadying him with a hand on his shoulder. “But we’re about to find out.”

The top of the steps wasn’t far. From her spot at the front of the group, Aranella looked back. She met Roland’s eyes with a cautious frown; he nodded in return, and watched as she straightened out her shoulders. She crested the stairs first and came to such a halt that the rest of them nearly ran into her.

“Miss Nella—” Tani started, only to stop as she realized what was going on. Evan clapped his hands to his ears, staring at the crowd in front of them as they continued their chant.

”We’re not slaves, we’re not slaves!” echoed through the wide open space that was Broadleaf’s uppermost level, the sound bouncing off the blue glass that formed the under layer of leaves. The protesting crowd had gathered in front of a large building, probably the industrial hub of the city, and were hefting signs up over their shoulders. Roland squinted to see them through the constant motion.

”No rest, no work”,” Batu grumbled, “What in blazes are they on about?”

“Perhaps being made to work long hours without breaks?” Leander suggested pensively from his place in the huddle the Delegation had fallen into. “There are signs that say “No more overtime” as well.”

“They’re definitely overworked,” Roland said, scanning their faces. Nearly everyone in the crowd had bags under their eyes or were flagging, but no one seemed to be in any hurry to stop. “Look at them all. I haven’t seen people look this tired since we were still building housing back home.”

Desperate to be out of tents before the rains came, everyone had thrown themselves into the work. Even Evan had worked himself to exhaustion a few times, but they had all been tied together by the hope of a new nation. These people…they didn’t seem to have any of that hope.

“It isn’t just that,” Aranella said, holding Evan back with a hand on his shoulder. “They look angry. They’ve been pushed too far and now…”

And now they were one step away from a full blown riot. If something tipped this crowd over the edge, Roland thought, it would turn into a bloodbath.

“We should leave.” He said, and when Evan whirled around he stood his ground. “Things could get really ugly, really fast. We should find someplace safer to wait them out, come after Vector from another angle.”

“But—” Evan began, then stopped himself. One ear twitched backwards, then the other. He turned back around. “…What’s that sound?”

Everyone turned to follow his attention, and that was when they saw it. A massive door carved into the side of the tower was beginning to creak open, allowing a burst of chilled, fresh-smelling air to filter in and with it, the noise of rapidly spinning propellers. Evan clamped his hands over his ears again.

“What is that?!” He shouted to be heard over the racket. Just ahead of them, the crowd started yelling louder just to be heard. “Is that President Vector?!”

If it was, he had the worst sense of timing in the world, not to mention the worst sense of aesthetics. As the Delegation watched, a flying craft that looked to be a cross between the blimps and biplanes of bygone days in Roland’s world sailed into the open space…if the blimps and biplanes of bygone days had ever had solid gold faces welded to their fronts. Roland pulled a disgusted face as the noise of propellers died down, the ship hovering on some other form of power. It hung suspended in front of the crowd for a few tense seconds.

Then, all hell broke loose.

Without warning, a vibrant purple light began to glow from within the aircraft. Just below it, the air rippled. Sensing something was off, the protesting crowd began to go quiet. Roland narrowed his eyes.

“What’s…”

Lofty, hanging off of Evan’s shoulder, went stiff.

“Oh, no,” the little Kingmaker whispered, “Don’t tell me the blighter’s gonna—”

“He’s summoning his Kingmaker!” Leander shouted, but the warning came too late. The Delegation could only watch, stunned, as President Vector turned his Kingmaker on his people.

Roland had read about Bastion in Goldpaw’s library. The largest of the four known Kingmakers, he was almost turtle in shape, with four sturdy legs supporting a mountain of a body. President Vector had evidently upgraded his Kingmaker as well as his town, because the Bastion that rippled into view was clad in golden armor, the castle like structure on his back spewing steam into the already hot air. With an avalanche-like rumble, Bastion lifted a single massive paw above the crowd.

No one waited around to get stomped on. Terrified screaming split the air as the crowd scattered. Some ran into the building behind them, but most headed straight for the stairs. Faced with the wave of people headed their way, the Delegation moved quickly. Darting up the last few steps, they ducked into a nearby alcove, unable to do anything but watch as Broadleaf’s citizens ran for any cover they could find.

In the plaza, Bastion began to gather energy. The plaza crackled with sparks, the scent of burnt ozone filling the air.

“What’s he doing?” Tani yelped, clinging to Evan with both hands, “Is he actually attacking his own people!?”

“I think he is,” Aranella said, pulling the children back behind her. Roland didn’t bother telling her that wasn’t going to matter in a few seconds. He just took up position in front of her, Batu’s bulk hiding them from sight as best he could. “We need to get out of here!”

“Hey!” A voice called. The group turned to find a pink-haired woman hanging halfway out a doorway carved into the wall nearby. She gestured to them with one arm, eyes wide. “In here! His attacks can’t get through metal!”

There was no time for another plan or for asking questions. Without hesitating, the Delegation ran for the door. The kids and the Higgledies slipped in first, then Aranella and Leander, with Batu and Roland bringing up the rear. Once the last of them were through, the woman slammed the door shut.

With a hard clang, they were plunged into darkness.

[domithekingoffools]

Unhinged Class Quotes From 10th Grade

The amount of bullshit my class says is baffling, so I have compiled some funny/questionable quotes that I have heard from them

1. My asscheeks are eating my underwear -Makayla

Want me to pick it for you? -Max

2. School shooter vibes, I'm so quirky -Makayla

3. Sometimes I shit so hard I can't stand up -Max

4. You tell Ms.S I made a suicidal gesture and I'll tell your mom you like coochie -Max

5. You know, blorbo from your shows! -Domi

What shows am I watching???- Makayla

6. Serenity duck -Sam

Immediately throws hat violently at Serenity 

7. Pink hair and pronouns? Yeah, well, makayla's black -Unrecorded

8. That's the thing about legs, you can walk with them -Makayla 

9. Benjamin Franklin was a fat president -Elijah

10. Does she have plaques in her house that say breast and nothing else? -Sam

11. Blegh, he looks so ugly. WAIT! That's what we're trying to prevent! -Max

12. I feel like ranboo was a late bloomer-max

What????? -Domi

I feel like ranboo was a late bloomer -Max

Oh I thought you said leaf blower -Domi

13. It's sad bitch autumn -Max

Max, that's called seasonal depression -Domi

14. Skylar baby this candy corn looks like you! -Gracie

Deformed? -Skylar

Yeah! -Gracie

15. Preston, if you don't move, I am going to resize your asshole -Noah

16. Preciate it homedog -Nathan

17. Eyghhagh -Gracie

Youunghna -Elijah

Eeeeua-gracie

Aaafughhaeu -Elijah

*grudge noises* -Gracie

18. You've gained 200 pounds since the last time I saw you! -Austin

I didn't weigh 50 pounds when you left -Noah

19. At least I have a soul you ginger -Newton

20. My sister's hot as hell tho -Gracie

21. Back when I was skinny -Noah

YOU WERE SKINNY??? -Coach C

22. Because of the hookers -Serenity

23. I don't have xbox anymore! -Brody

I know! -Nathan

Dawson traded that bitch for a shotgun! -Brody

24. I didn't know that the boys who were gay in highschool had sex with other guys -Jayla

25. Think racist thoughts -Nathan

26. It's 9:11 make a wish -Unrecorded

27. I know that but the state of alabama says she can -Nathan

28. Sometimes I think we're the smart class, then jayla opens her mouth -Domi

29. I don't know what we were drawing, but all the sudden it became really buff -Domi

30. Imagine Adrian's hair as a loofa… something soft touching my balls… -Unrecorded 

31. Ms.H said she gonna put y'all in concentration camps if y'all don't sit down -Noah

32. Brody just declared independence and crushed everyone. HE WAS AMERICA -Unrecorded

33. Blegh I forgot pepsi tasted like that-serenity

Like what? -Makayla

Like pepsi -Serenity

34. No shove your fist in his mouth and grab his tongue -Adrian

35. What facts will you go with reeses and snickers, which will make you fatter? -Serentiy

36. This is like the ideologies of white girls nowadays -Nathan

37. The walk of sadness -Max

You mean the trail of tears??? -Makayla

38. Imma do shrooms cause they come from the earth! -John

39. If you can do it (one leg burpees) at 250(lbs), you can do them at 160! -Coach C

Noah's been doing them at- -Nathan

Noah, how much you weigh? -Coach C

About the same as you 250, 260 -Noah

I need to lose weight -Coach C

40. Just because I forgot the principle is dead doesn't mean anything -Makayla

41. You don't have boobies, you have mommy milkers -Makayla

42. I didn't know your cooch elongates -Makayla

43. I clearly won -Serenity, drawing a curved line

No, clearly I got 69 -Newton, drawings a 69

No, clearly I got 69 -Serenity, drawing a 69 over the previous one

Clearly I won I got 420 -Newton, drawing a 420

No I won I got 9/11 -Serenity

44. Whenever I drink monster, I play tetris like a god -Makayla

45. Context: uno, the most recent played card was a green 9

Max plays a green 6

It's not a 9! -Domi

Max takes it back

The card was green! -Serenity 

Max plays the card again

46. I need to lubricate my throat! -Makayla

47. I still need to use my Ls! -Max

Max your whole life is an L! -Domi

48. *Demon Voice™️* NO! NO! *Kiss* NO! GET OFF THE BED! NO! -Max

49. Oh, that? That's old steak mouth over there, you don't want to kiss him you'll get diabetes -Max

50. The children yearn for the mines Ms.S! -John

51. You wanna lick my stick? -Serenity 

Not really -Max

52. My mom didn't do drugs, she ate salami -Serenity 

53. I know you felt the rizz -Makayla

54. I rizzed you up too hard -Makayla

55. Bears have their tiddies out 24/7 -Makayla 

56. If I'm not being ravaged, I'm ravaging, you can't change my mind -Serenity

57. Fingers are fingers, unless you're missing one cause I'm not licking a stub -Serenity 

58. He's not girly pop, he's woman soda -Max

59. For the sake our beans, we can lie -Max

60. You're not wrong but the context is horrible -Makayla 

61. Together we form… MEGA FAGGOT -Makayla 

62. I can feel the wind on my left asscheek without you -Newton

63. It's a confusing math, but it's a math -Makayla 

64. Why is he shooting staples in his drink? -Nathan

I'm killing the bacteria in it -Landon

65. Was she a female? I just put she was female and caring -Unrecorded 

66. But I DO know, I've seen you naked -Serenity 

67. Somebody could hand landon green lint and he'd smoke it -Noah

68. I'm sorry you suck at minecraft, but it's probably because you're a helmet kid -Serenity 

69. You know your disability? You're white -Serenity 

70. White power -Landon

71. My body, my choice. Now put your own damn computer up -Max

72. That'd be pretty funny if we all got cancer -Jayla

73. Ava's gonna sit there and cry until she turns white -Landon

74. I want to put a finger in her cleavage -Serenity 

75. He aged like milk, nice and chunky -Serenity 

76. Oh my god you decapitated him! -Ej

That's why he needs CPR! -Ms.S

77. You're as mexican as I am black -Caycee

78. *puts a book that says atlas on Serenity's desk* Y'all want this? -Coach C

Atlantis? -Serenity 

79. Yeah… the kids sitting on the floor are the ones in honors -Cooper

80. The only thing I know in spanish is something racist -Nathan

81. I'm surprised Landon don't got extra small shorts to accentuate his… nevermind -Nathan

82. It's torn in both holes! -Serenity 

83. I don't care if his chin is 2 feet long, I love him -Max

84. Red, white, and blue baby, like your mom's coochie -Serenity 

85. Yeah, you'll just add another inch to that forehead -Serenity 

86. Makayla is dripping with moisture -Max

87. No, no, a 60 will still bring my grade up, so will a 67 -Landon

88. Is there any topic we can talk about that isn't Nyleah's life? -Ms.S

My grandma's casket! -Landon

89. Because I look terrible -Gracie

That's everyday honey -Ms.A

90. You can admit it if you read Danny Phantom mpreg -Max

91. Noah has a history of breaking seating arrangements in my classroom -Ms.M

It was one time! -Noah

92. Aren't we so pretty! I'm so white… -Ms.M

93. Sexually harassing someone is not rizz -Serenity

94. You know Noah got scared cause he started rubbing his stomach-Nathan

95. I don't think dollar taco monday ever existed -Nathan

96. I HAVE TESTOSTERONE!!! I'M A MAN!!! -Serenity 

97. No strawberry, drink your black milk like an sjw -Max

98. When I read fanfics I read angst, smut, and no comfort -Max

That's because you are a broken, broken man -Domi

99. You're going to be the Elvis of burping -Makayla

100. Makayla is dripping with moisture -Max

101. Just a little sprinkle of tism -Titus

102. Are you a god? -Serenity 

No, I'm a whore -Domi

103. She turned that chair into a furry -Domi

104. If I don't get my daily 2 hours of staring into the abyss, I'll break out in hives and… shit bullets or something, I don't know -Max

105. If someone gets scarred for life, that's their problem -Domi

106. You have jiggle physics -Makayla 

107. I'M A WOMAN! CAW CAW! -Serenity 

108. I'm sorry but I can't condone that, let's talk about something else -Sam

109. He's so ugly, I'd gag every time he wants to go down on me -Max

110. You can sip coffee on my lap -Makayla 

Only if I can drink it out of your mouth -Max

111. I don't think they're real cheese either, BUT AS AN AMERICAN -Max

112. Mount me like a deer -Makayla 

113. As a vagina person, I shouldn't have to work -Max

114. I poisoned his cup noodles -Max

In a bit (soon hopefully) I'll post stats (who had the most quotes in a teir list) and a top ten most cursed quotes!

[discflame]

and from a national security (blegh) perspective there was an entire chain of failures spawned by two specific CIA motherfuckers (Michael Scheuer and Alfreda Frances Bikowsky, who would go on to defend the gitmo torture program and become ardent trump supporters) had beef with the FBI and refused to pass on information about the hijackers being in the country, about bin Laden planning an attack, KNOWING that fact and actually getting it onto the president's daily briefing a month before September 11th, all because they were afraid of the FBI taking credit.

In the White House situation room, secretary of state condaleezza rice was told that bin Laden was hiding in Afghanistan and that the Afghan government was protecting him, and specifically directed her staff to find excuses to invade Iraq instead. she's the reason why we had the fucking fake wmd scare that people still believe to this day.

The director of the FBI team that was tracking bin Laden and had been for almost a decade, John O'Neal, was fired in August, 2001 because he kept getting stonewalled by the CIA, the new Bush administration refused to even consider the evidence they had, specifically because bush was too stupid to receive briefings on complicated issues (and the government was specifically told to keep things simple). O'Neal's next job was chief of security at the World Trade Center where he died evacuating people from Tower 2 from an attack he conceivably could've stopped if the government wasn't full of opportunist fucks.

read the looming tower.

i wish there was a way to be like "research the TRUTH about 9/11" without sounding insane, but the older i get the more i realize i wasnt misremembering and the memory of that day has become completely sanitized as an example of american heroism in the face of terrorist aggression and not one of the most horrific systematic failures and explicit moments of sociopathy resulting in a mass maiming/cancer/unidentified remains event.

an unfathomable amount of firefighters died because, despite being given a 21 minute warning that the building would collapse from a helicopter above specifically bc the NYPD hates the fire department

after the first tower had been hit, workers in tower 2 tried to flee and were told to go back to work by security guards and port authority

1000 remains are still unidenitfied

[thegc4life]

*in Dabi voice* That so? How sad, poor little WyvernSpirit. Hawks with prosthetic legs is a concept that has haunted me too. Maybe above the ankle, but below the knee? Amputation 😔 there I said it directly. Last page of chapter 267, doesn't Hawks' leg look kinda long and weirdly detatched 'cause of the angle and being hidden behind Tokoyami's hand?

    Anonymous said:

    Continuing. Common known fact: When Wyvern gets stuck on a concept they really fall down that rabbit hole hard. - Sincerely, the anon that placed helicopter sound effects over Keigo's feetsies. (Hint: Helicopters are chop-chopping :)

--00--

Okay. OKAY. You lot! ALL of you! Do you know what you have done to me?! I have thought about this, relentlessly! I have nit, I have picked, and I have formulated plans and you have given me horrible, horrible ideas! That I am implementing now because god damn it you’ve infected me with- with the chop-chopness! All of you! 

@stitchthepaleontologynerd I haven’t gotten to your ask yet, it’s coming up boy howdy, but you’re included in this! 

How dare! How daaarrreee!

Now you get to suffer with me! Look at what you’ve done! Look at it!

(For all you lovely doves *side-eyes the wrong-doers* that are not horrible influences, if you do not want any spoilers for Hawks-sensei do not read below the cut. It is a detailing of a trauma I was planning to use but is now so much bigger, so much WORSE, and will pop up in later chapters as the same flashback styles as I’ve had already. Warnings for verbal and emotional manipulation as well as threats of physical abuse. It’s sad. You’ve been warned.)

So...

Originally planned: We all know (unless our minds were tired and blended that one little speech bubble that showed up a total of one time) that Hawks was trained in negotiation tactics, verbal manipulation, and such. Head Canon wise, in the story I was going to have it that as he grew up Hawks could, technically, ask for anything he wanted and get it but he needed to make a compelling argument for why he should be allowed to have what he asked for (hint: he often failed these until he stopped asking for things that were ‘useless’). I was going to hint at this, here and there, to do that slow build horror that is so prevalent in the Hero Commission.

And then Chop-chop happened.

So. Now there is this.

Hawks keeps failing his negotiation training outside of training scenarios. His trainers and the President wanted him to keep asking for things so that he could learn how to manipulate and negotiate at the drop of a hat. But whenever he asked for things it was always ‘silly little things’ like going outside for a bit to fly, or to get something that actually tasted good instead of all gross food he was served for every meal, or to be able to take his Endeavour doll with him to training so that it could watch on and give him encouragement.

You know. Silly things.

He always failed these because he could not come up with a strong enough argument for why he should be allowed to do these things.

So they got... a little mean.

Longer training hours. He was always given the choice of not staying later than usual, so long as he could provide a ‘valid’ argument to his trainers why he didn’t need to work harder. ‘I managed that new aerial trick three times in a row with no mistakes’ he would say. ‘Yes, but you messed up the other one halfway through’ they would say. And he would tell them that it was new, of course he didn’t get it down right away. And they would say, ‘exactly, so we need to train more.’

Eventually, Hawks would get to the point where he would say ‘I need to be able to stretch my body in a certain way to make that move. I should go to my room and practice stretching like that. I will have it perfected next time.’

And they praise him for good thinking and say ‘yes, Hawks, that is a good idea’ and he gets all happy because Praise, and he goes from training with them... to training in his room as though he managed to convince them of anything.

He makes progress. He gets better at speaking, and manipulating, and redirecting. But not fast enough. Not good enough.

So they step it up a bit.

“Your feet’ they tell him. They are unnatural. They affect how you walk, how you stand, they look odd and lethal. He is supposed to be a comforting figure, he can’t be like that if he as talons that could rip off someone’s arm.

They’ll just have to go.

Hawks, understandably, freaks the fuck out. He doesn’t want to have his talons surgically removed. To have his feet braced and wrapped until they were re-formed into a ‘normal’ foot. To have anything they were telling him.

He argues with his trainers. Screams at them for the first time in the two years (because yes, he is still very young) he’s been here. He leaves without permission. Goes to his room. Screams and shakes and holds his Endeavour plush while praying the real thing will come save him.

In comes the President.

‘Hawks,’ she says, long after he has exhausted himself and is just staring blankly at the wall. ‘I heard what happened. You don’t want the surgery, do you?”

And of course he doesn’t, who would want that?

“I understand’ she says, and Hawks believes her because she always seems to understand more than he does but he doesn’t want her to this time because when she understands him she makes him understand her.

Which is exactly what she does.

She tells him why she thinks it is a good idea to get the surgery. While he is exhausted, empty, and numb she tells him all the horrible things in the world people see and how his feet might seem scary. She gives statements, but they seem... weak? They are less substantial than usual.

“The surgery will be next week,” she tells him and he breaks and he breaks and he breaks.

“Unless.”

Unless he can convince them otherwise. Unless he can negotiate. Manipulate. Make them see things his way.

“I want you to be happy, Hawks,’ she tells him, using the pads of her fingers to brush his hair out of his face before she goes and he leans into the warmth and wants, wants, wants. “If you think there is a different way, that there is something that should be done differently, all you have to do is tell us. You’re a smart boy. If you really think your feet are fine as they are, then there must be a reason they’re like that right? You just have to tell us what it is.”

So he tries.

Day one, he fails. They take x-rays of his feet for the doctors to look at while they prepare. ‘I’ll never walk the same’ isn’t a good enough reason when they have specialized physical therapists there to make sure that he will.

Day two, he fails. His handler tells him the time he was scheduled for. Early in the morning, right after he wakes up. “It will slow down my training,” isn’t good enough either. ‘you’re a fast learner’ is praise he always wanted before, and now all it is is a bullet in his lungs.

Day three, he fails. They use a practice dummy to help teach him how he is going to have to wrap his feet when everyone else is too busy to help him. “It’s going to hurt” and “I’m scared” are not the reasons of a hero. He’ll get over it.

Day four, he fails. No one brings it up that day. There is an entry on his calendar though. Circled. Blatant. He doesn’t argue that day. He doesn’t know what to say.

Day five, he fails. He asks his trainers if there is any way for him to use his feet, as they are, as a hero. They tell him they have never worked with avian based quirks before, how could they possibly know if his talons would be useful? He snapped at them, saying they did just fine telling him how to use his feathers when no one else in the world had the same quirk as he did. He had to do extra laps that day, until he was too tired to argue anymore.

Day six, the day before the surgery, the President comes to visit him again. He stayed up all night, even with how exhausted he had been, because this was his last chance.

“I can keep them covered,” he tells her. Tells the room. The faces that hold the decision in their hands. “I have to wear shoes outside anyway, it’s easy to keep them covered. They help me balance in ways most people can’t. It makes me a better fighter. If I run out of feathers, I will still have a weapon. A last resort. I can learn to walk normal. It will be easier to learn with feet I am used to then ones created for me. My toes are flexible and strong. If I train them I can use them in emergency situations to save more people. What if my arms are broken? My feathers gone? I can still use my feet to evacuate people.”

More, and more he talks. He tells them everything he can possibly think of that make his feet an advantage instead of an anomaly. He doesn't’ say ‘I like them’ or that he likes to curl his toes around the bottom bars of his bed when he has a nightmare. He doesn’t tell them that he likes the feeling of the tiles beneath his talons as they ‘click, click’ when he walks. He doesn’t tell them that they help him perch and that he’s afraid if they take them he won’t be able to do that anymore and he doesn’t know if he could handle losing that too.

His trainers look thoughtful. His handler is nodding.

The President smiles.

After everyone has left she gives him a hug. It’s small, and stiff, but he feels like crying.

“I am proud of you, Hawks,” she tells him. “Keep this up.”

And when they talk about his hands, he wins. When they talk about his staring he doesn’t... he doesn't win but he gets a compromise. A visor, to hide his eyes. When they talk about his sharp teeth, he almost loses but then he wins and the President smiles at him again. She doesn't’ hug him, that time, but he’s too old for that now so it’s okay.

When he’s sixteen, he knows he’s gotten really good at it. Because they try to take his Endeavour doll away. And it makes sense, because it’s- it’s a toy. Of course he doesn’t need it when he’s sixteen. He’s surprised they hadn’t tried to take it sooner. But he’d prepared for this, he knew his trainers and his handler well by then and he talked circles around them until they forgot what they asked in the first place. He got them refocused on training, on stats, on preparations and then he made sure it was always out of sight so they never brought it up again.

The President asked him, once, if he still had it. He shrugged, asked about how his results in his last combat simulation were, and she had looked so unimpressed that he knew she had known. But she hadn’t said anything. Because most of the time, if he managed to convince everyone else, she would let him keep something.

And he was grateful.

--00--

Look what you monsters have done. T-T I hope you’re happy! 

Seriously though, you guys just love giving me the angst thoughts. Like, dang. I love and hate it. I still love YOU of course, but I hate the evil thoughts you give me! Please continue! But don’t!

[wish-to-be-as-cool]

My MH headcanons

Today's Monster:

Clawdeen Wolf!

I headcanon her as aromantic bisexual

She likes flirting and can appreciate someone being drop dead goregeous

But actually being in a relationship with someone? blegh(thats how i see it as aroace i like romance and attractive people but i would never want to like actually do those rhings)

She's in Fear Squad, a back up track member(she vice cap of fear, leader of fashion club and with all her misadventures with the ghoul squad, she lost her perma spot but if someoen injured or something she'll sub in), president of Fashion/sewing club

She used to be the tallest ghoul in the group but was relegated to third with Frankie and Abbey coming along

She's not upset about it! (she is, a little, she gets that Abbey is tall cuz yknow Yeti!! Ya can't beat that! But Frankie too? Come on! She gets 'short vibes' from her so her being taller is unfair, like yeah she'd be taller then them when shes a full grown adult and in her wolf form but its the principle of it!!! She had to add inches to her heels to be the same height/taller than Frankie!!)

She wanted to be tall as a kid and she got her wish(i wanted to be tall as a kid but alas genetics said no :,) )

Her and Clawd are twins tho they dont look it

She likes painting her nails but will only ever paint her toenails gold or natural

Loves all the freaky fab hairstyles she van try out with how thick and fast her hair can grow

Doesnt like that she can't keep her short styles for long tho :/

[windcalling]

wei wuxian playlist | see the coffin jump

on spotify | twitter | ao3

vanderlyle crybaby geeks - the national | mowgli’s road - marina | featherweight - fleet foxes | gopher guts - aesop rock | thunder & lightning - brown bird | hail to whatever you found in the sunlight that surrounds you - rilo kiley | bright mouths - electric president | jumping coffin - aesop rock | rumors - josh ritter | his hands - blegh | rings - aesop rock | midday moon - astronautalis | we all die young - the decemberists | good grief - dessa | older and taller - regina spektor | enough to go by - vienna teng | bone of song - josh ritter | my love follows you where you go - lori mckenna 

track notes under the cut.

vanderlyle crybaby geeks - the national All the very best of us string ourselves up for love

mowgli’s road - marina Oh Lord, I have been told That I must take the unforsaken road (forsaken road)

featherweight - fleet foxes In all that war, I’d forgotten how many men might die for what I’d renounced I was staging life as a battleground No, I let that grasping fall

gopher guts - aesop rock Today I pulled three ghost crabs out of rock and sand Where the low tide showcased a promised land I told them, “You will grow to be something dynamic and impressive; you are patient, you are gallant, you are festive.” Then I let them go. Oh.

thunder & lightning - brown bird Cut down by the cruel and the crass fold Catch hell from the mighty and high Ain’t nowhere left for the good to go No truth in a world full of lies

hail to whatever you found in the sunlight that surrounds you - rilo kiley Hail to whatever you found in the sunlight that surrounds you Pretend all the good things are for you

bright mouths - electric president We are the thoughts that you were warned about We are the shadows in your basement When you say doomsday we say everything’s alright But it’s all the same

jumping coffin - aesop rock Some try to combat any kind of odd force tryna make contact, nah Let it in, let it in Let it in, let it in

rumors - josh ritter Hey, what the hell if it helps me I put a whip to the kick drum but the music’s never loud enough

his hands - blegh You’re too real for me You should got to something better I’ll give you to someone better I have friends that’ll be on earth for longer I have friends that won’t feel like monsters

rings - aesop rock They will chop you down just to count your rings Just to count your rings Just to count your rings

midday moon - astronautalis This is how they came to me, one at a time Pilgrims to my building on the cemetery grounds All they wanted was an answer and I could never let ‘em down I couldn’t promise them forever but I could buy a lot of time

we all die young - the decemberists we all die young!

good grief - dessa I’m willing to work for this Just show me where to dig And I’m ready to hurt for this I know exactly what this: good grief

older and taller - regina spektor I remembered you older and taller but you’re younger and smaller so who’s gonna call her and say  that you’re back again?

enough to go by - vienna teng I’m wanting your anger I only want to see if I can shake you out of sleep And bring you out under this flooded sky At any price

bone of song - josh ritter I am the only unquiet ghost that does not seek rest

my love follows you where you go - lori mckenna Up the steepest hill, a dark and crooked road My love follows you where you go

[prof-zimbrane]

Dib: Dad, why is Zim sitting beside you and holding your hand?

Prof. Membrane: Son, as you know, you have never had a second parental figure in your life and I seek to remedy that.

Dib: ...What?

Zim: What your Tallest is saying, Dib-stink, is that I, Zim, will become your future parental unit! Bask in amazement!! For soon you shall be related to the ALMIGHTY ZIM!!!!

Prof. Membrane: Yes son! I'm finally getting married! I'm sorry for not informing you earlier but Zim here proposed just before you came in.

Zim: It was the best proposal, that your puny brain can't even begin to imagine, ever!

Dib: But.. but you can't marry Zim! He's.. well, he's Zim! An evil alien!

Prof. Membrane: Son! I raised you better than that. I will not tolerate any xenophobia in this household! I know change is frightening and you have it in your mind that Zim is an alien but he's an admirable genius who can help me take care of you and Gaz.

Dib: Dad you didn't raise me up at all. And you never said you were dating anyone! Especially not Zim.

Zim: What's wrong Dib? Are you really mouthing your future father off? Professor Membrane and I are perfectly happy and in *blegh* dumb-love with each other.

Dib: Can you even feel love Zim? An invader sent here to INVADE Earth! What did you do to my Dad Zim?!

Zim: The only thing I did was seduce him with my superiority and amazing Zim-ness.

Prof. Membrane: We wooed each other with our discoveries about the empirical and rational world. Son, I wish you'd give him a chance. It would mean a lot to me.

Zim: Leave him be, love-pig. We still have a glorious wedding to plan! I want a platoon of Megadoomers and Earth's President-Man to start off our ceremony with destructive success and trumpets.

Prof. Membrane: What are these Megadoomers? Are they some form of technology?

Zim: Come bae!! I have to show them to you! OH! and we'll do our honeyed moons on planet Plim.

Prof. Membrane: As a man of science! Your gadgets always manage to fill me with intrigue. I'll be right behind you, my celestial lover.

Dib: Gaz! Why aren't you saying anything?

Gaz: That's because Zim bribed me to help him set up the proposal.

Dib: Why would you do that? He's Zim! He'll ruin our lives!

Gaz: But he'll be too busy smooching Dad to bother you or plan Earth's destruction if he's married.

Dib: He's using our Dad, Gaz!

Gaz: You should've seen Zim give himself a beating for liking "an inferior species, although less inferior than other members of the species, with Zim-levels of intellect and advantageous height," last week.

Dib: He really said that? Wait! That still doesn't matter! Zim is manipulating our dad and I've got to stop him!

Gaz: If Zim is our dad, he'll probably show you his alien tech and take us to space to meet aliens.

Dib: Oh, I didn't think of that...

Gaz: *whispers to herself* Zim better follow his promise of giving me the only copy of "Darker Souls IV" in existence or else...

[ain-t-bovvered]

15X12 Commentary

Bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

@smol-and-grumpy​​​​ (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon​​​​  (Kat)  

@waywardbaby​​  (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered  (Giulia)

Nat: welp i guess we'll start?

Giulia: Ye

Zee: I know we’re not ready but yes

Nat: count as usual?

Giulia: U r the only one ready snort

Zee: Shush I’m faking it

Nat: 3

Nat: 2

Nat: 1

Nat: go

Zee: The recap

Giulia: Already hate it

Giulia: ...kaia

Giulia: Ok but i loved dean shout there

Giulia: But i also don t give a fuck about kaia

Nat: i could make a list of people i don't give a fuck about

Giulia: Why the empty has a dick

Nat: earth 2

Giulia: Look how much-waisted air time

Nat: this better go somewhere

Zee: What is he on?

Giulia: Oh look das me every time a clerk looks too clingy

Zee: President Hillary Clinton

Giulia: Nice

Giulia: Radio shed ads look like mediaworld *winks in italian*

Zee: Can he shut up?

Giulia: Nerd

Giulia: Oh and another nerd

Nat: weird that on every earth people are still dumb as fuck

Giulia: The World

Zee: Oh no

Giulia: Yeah that looks my kinda world

Giulia: Aaah beard dean

Zee: Other toys

Nat: He can't even make a world that's gonna function

Giulia: I can get what I want from a hundred worlds

Giulia: What she said

God/ ME A DESTIEL SHIPPER ABOUT DESTIEL ENDGAME: Dean says I'm not gonna get the ending I want. And I don't know. Maybe... I...I mean, that shouldn't matter, right?  I've gotten what I want from hundred of Sams and Deans. I could get what I want from a hundred more. And I don't care.

Nat: you can see the green screen. I mean him standing before one

Giulia: Amazing

Zee: Clear the board

Giulia: Can he clean this one too. I think he’s already doing it

Nat: our world

Nat: how do you know. still, he doesn't take out the dumb

Zee: Vegan

Giulia: ...vegan lasagna *cringes in Italian*

Giulia: Because he feels for them. Between similars u no

Giulia: Aah veins

Zee: I still don’t like it

Giulia: Ah so we are actually where we left off. I can tell u where my head is

Zee: I can tell you where I want his head to be

Giulia: Ooooh nice

Giulia: Look at Jack hair tho

Giulia: BABE

Nat: "I HAVE SPEND TIME WITH HER" *wink wink nudge nudge*

Giulia: 50k

Giulia: Scythe kink

Nat: ouch

Zee: FOCUS

Giulia: Bottom Dean

Nat: on what? dildo scythe?

Giulia: Please comment and reblog

Giulia: Hey

Giulia: No OnE

Zee: Is jack chubbier?

Giulia: Don t talk to my son like this

Zee: Sam should stop doing that thing with his face

Nat: He's just older

Giulia: I can count his gray hair

Giulia: ...

Giulia: AAAAAAAAH beautiful

Zee: How domestic

Giulia: Babe

Zee: Look at that little smile

Giulia: SO CUTE

Giulia: thank you for a small bubble of happiness. That shook my soul a bit

Zee: They seem a little happy. I’m scared. Oh there it is

Giulia: That’s a fancy-ass whiskey bottle. I want it

Zee: Kaia came looking for the spear

Giulia: Cute where is cas

Zee: Babysitting

Giulia: Of course she kicks their asses

Giulia: I wanna choke him too

Nat: they can't even fight one small girl. they're getting old

Zee: Can he get any deeper?

Giulia: What she said

Zee: THE VOIVE I MEAN

Giulia: Oh come on HOW CONVENIENT

Giulia: they pulled a Mary Winchester

Zee: Snort

Nat: i don't know what to think about all this

Giulia: Oh looks it’s us after the coronavirus. Eating lizards

Nat: I mean

Giulia: I just watch

Nat: I would eat it 🤷🏻‍♀

Zee: Dean said not tasted kinda decent

Nat: do I have to

Zee: YES

Giulia: SNORT

Zee: SEE? Babysitting

Giulia: ...listen….How in the hell...War Strategist angel of the lord cas loses at force 4. Fuck off

Giulia: Always makeup on point

Giulia: Not Kaia not helping

Nat: oh I see jody had time for lash extensions

Giulia: She must not be in quarantine

Giulia: ...La piegatrice mondiale. What a horrible translation

Giulia: Oh dean has nice hair. I wanna pull it

Zee: This is going so well

Giulia: Look at cas hair

Nat: He always goes like "Cas-tee-el"

Giulia: Tee-el

Zee: Are you only looking at hair?

Giulia: Cas sounds so done

Zee: But so good

Giulia: WHAT A SOFT LOOK I HATE IT DON T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT

Giulia: A bit of a smokey eye on Kaia, What she used? Burned sticks? charcoal? Burned lizard’s tails?

Zee: Is it me or Jody looks older and Cas looks younger?

Nat: sorry but not Kaia can go fuck herself

Giulia: WHATEVER

Nat: so much airtime

Giulia: WASTED

Giulia: ...Shouldn’t he be strong af

Nat: I hate that the female's make up is always on point.

Zee: He’s gonna do something stupid

Giulia: Definition of a Winchester

Giulia: What a dad tone

Nat: I like Merl. Merl is me

Giulia: HEEEEY

Giulia: AHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Giulia: AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Nat: Winchester dumb

Zee: Winchester dumb

Giulia: what a mood

Nat: she's my fave character

Giulia: I love her

Nat: i want her in all the ep

Giulia: I stan her

Nat: give her more air time

Giulia: She’s the smartest in the room

Giulia: What a sassy reaper. Like my fav sassy demon

Giulia: I love how the Winchesters are there watching, being all: yup, that’s our dumb kid

Nat: Winchester stupid

Zee: They know she’s right

Giulia: DONT BORROW MY ANGEL LIKE A BATTERY

Zee: Dead angel walking

Nat: I seriously thought Cas holds out the cup he ejaculated in like in a sperm bank

Giulia: Can I unread this

Nat: No u can't, that's what happens when I’m in lockdown

Giulia: Look at that cutie with his cute backpack

Nat: boy scout dean

Zee: Sam’s smirk

Giulia: Babysitting again

Giulia: BS angel chivalry

Giulia: SHE’S SO DONE

Giulia: love it

Nat: she should have said "in your own time"

Giulia: Me and you have all eternity, they don’t

Giulia: ...wasting seconds of intense glares

Giulia: Oh look the gremlins again

Giulia: The last healthy Italians vs the infected ones

Giulia: Last Toilet paper’s rolls and dumb scared people

Nat: snorts

Zee: You’re on a roll

Giulia: Dean eyelashes are fluttering in the wind. Sam needs a hair elastic

Nat: I wish something else would flutter in the wind

Giulia: my fucks

Zee: Hey kid

Giulia: WHY ARE THEY HUGGING

Zee: It’s before corona

Nat: I thought they didn't like each other that much

Giulia: Exactly. They have like 0 relationship, I don’t understand

Nat: It's weird.

Nat: if she should hug someone it should be sam. but what do I know

Zee: Have y’all understood the point of all this? Cause I haven’t

Giulia: Literally none

Nat: I’m bothered by all the other things

Giulia: She had time to do her eyelashes

Nat: so we did literally waste an ep with getting Kaia back, like for real? I watched this?

Giulia: ...AH

Nat: you know the last season could have been so fucking good

Zee: Wtf?

Giulia: K

Nat: ah

Zee: She found out

Giulia: What a meme

Giulia: Billy: last season

The reaper: my joy

Giulia: Death is angry

Zee: I was busy In Italy

Giulia: Oh wow

Nat: Merl had one job

Giulia: The writers had one job

Nat: Billy is us because she has no patience in them wasting an ep freeing Kaia

Giulia: Then u killed me

Giulia: Smoulder time

Giulia: Aaaah a baby

Zee: What?

Nat: Meh

Giulia: Why

Nat: God's destruction is Jack

Giulia: Another meme

Giulia: Writers

Giulia: Us asking if season15 will be amazing

Nat: right

Giulia: Go watch the promo

Nat: is that a fiat

Giulia: That’s a 500, my old car snort

Nat: Are they gay antiques, dealers

Zee: Apart from the reaper everything else was pretty lame. We waited almost two months for that?

Giulia: We went through corona for that

Nat: they look like gay antique dealers. especially being outraged when Sam has to lose the man bun

Giulia: With their cardigans and shit

Giulia: We should all live together. Yikes. They gonna die

Nat: they would scream

Giulia: High pitched

Zee: Tf did I just watch ? Loved deans bracelets tho

Giulia: They’re Jensen’s . Probably

Giulia: Oh maybe they are sam and dean that grew up as men of letters

Zee: Gay men of letters

Giulia: Can they get hot and bothered by Castiel?

Zee: Maybe not both of them

Giulia: Nah Nah both

Zee: Will the angel be gay too?

Giulia: There will be no angel probably. Also, Angels are probably sexless so who cares.

Kat: Y’all finished?

Giulia: Yup

Zee: Yes

Kat: And?

Giulia: WHERE IS THE FLAVOUR

Zee: LLLAAAAMMMEEE

Nat: I wasted my time

Kat: Yeah. Who gives a flying fuck about Kaia. Literally no one

Giulia: guess they are tying the loose ends

Kat: No one has thought about her in 2 years, she was a dead end

Giulia: Idk what the point was

Kat: Idk to have Jack use his powers for some reason? Surely they could have found something better

Giulia: Idk man. Between this fucking virus and jib and life and this writing, I’m very much blegh. I mean I love my boys. But

Zee: Let’s just hope they give them a decent ending and not something so lame that it will ruin everything

Nat: You love them and you want the best for them. not half-assed writing

Giulia: Yeah

Nat: lol what show have you been watching the last season

Kat: Yeah. It’ll be ruined. I have no hope of anything else

Nat: I don't have much hope but also that will maybe make me feel better when it's not as bad as I think it will be

Zee: I know but I can’t let it drag me down

Giulia: Yup

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If you want to get tagged send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby​​ or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

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[darth-tella]

Struggling Through It

Thanks Nonnie and @sunniebelle​ for the prompts and for your patience in me actually finishing it!

The prompts were:

61: “I can tell you’re sicker than you’re saying.”( Which I somehow misremembered as “Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?” so... sorry. XD)

67. Having to be dragged back to bed.

I also made this Tentoo x Rose because sick Tentoo is fun to write for.

Also tagging in @doctorroseprompts​, as I usually forget to.

Read on AO3 

Tentoo x Rose All ages

Struggling Through It  

“I honestly cannot believe you sometimes.” Rose grumbled under her breath as she attempted to drag the Doctor towards the hotel lifts. It couldn’t have been easy in heels, especially with him suddenly feeling a bit weak and now having legs that didn’t want to work properly at that particular moment. Not to mention the fact he honestly felt like he was going to keel over at any time because this now rubbish human body decided it was time to be a right pain in the backside and suddenly act so very, well, human! And wasn’t that just wizard?

If that wasn't bad enough everyone in the room seemed to be too shocked at what just happened to even try and help her. Either that or they didn’t want to risk getting another expensive outfit ruined so they all more or less shuffled out of the way whilst whispering amongst themselves and sadly shaking their heads at them. Okay, that wasn’t exactly true; Jackie did come stomping over practically shrieking at the top of her lungs with Pete trailing not far behind, but Rose waved them off claiming that she would take care of the Doctor herself. Thankfully they backed off, but not without Jackie demanding updates from Rose and a comment along the lines of how the Doctor literally is a toddler. Okay, sure, this very human body of his was nearing two and a half years old, but that was not the point.

The Doctor could say nothing to Rose in his defence for what just happened in the ballroom. Not because he was truly guilty of anything, but because he was still breathing through this bout of intense nausea.

“All over the Canadian President too!” Rose continued her ranting as she awkwardly stepped out of her heels, shoved them into one of his hands where he fumbled them for a moment before getting a good grip on them, and resumed dragging him away barefooted, “Of all the people to barf on an' it had to be her, as if she wasn’t grumpy enough. We were relyin’ on her for approvin’ the construction of a new UNIT base in Toronto, in case you forgot." The Doctor absently noted how strong her accent got whenever she got upset. "We’re not even here an hour, and already you’re pissed! Don’t think I didn’t see you over at the bar with Jake and the boys.”

“I’m not drunk!” The Doctor finally broke through Rose’s ranting. Blimey she could really sound like her mother sometimes. A wave of dizziness overcame him once more and he had to lean into Rose a bit more to keep from doing a swan dive face first into the marble floor. Then his body decided to betray him again by means of a full-body shiver that was strong enough to make his teeth chatter and the feeling that even more of his stomach contents were threatening to escape him in the most undignified way possible. He took a deep breath before he continued, “Jake was getting me some warm lemon water since I’m still Time Lord enough to get drunk off ginger, which I still think is the stupidest thing ever. I mean why ging-- oh!” He dug his heels in as he was hit by a strong wave of nausea and Rose thankfully took the hint and stopped walking for a moment. He took a few deep breaths and the room eventually his stomach settled enough for him to keep walking.

“Believe me, the last thing I want to be now is drunk since my stomach is all… blegh.” Oh why, did he have to describe it like that? It was almost the exact disgusting noise he made involuntarily not two minutes before!

The lift chime dinged and the Doctor was pulled unceremoniously into it and Rose propped him up against the mirrored wall quite correctly assuming that he needed help remaining on his feet. At least the cool texture of the wall felt heavenly pressed up against his cheek. Rose stabbed at the buttons and a moment later the lift lurched upwards and the Doctor forced himself to swallow down the sick once again crawling up his oesophagus, although the mere thought of the action almost undid all his effort. But then he felt Rose’s hand rubbing up and down the length of his back. The small gesture sent pleasant tingles down his spine and it soothed him more than anything else at this point and he heard himself hum in appreciation.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?” Even though she still sounded upset, genuine concern replaced the harsh, accusatory tone in Rose’s voice. The Doctor shrugged his shoulder, then immediately regretted the movement.

“I didn’t feel so bad earlier, a bit off maybe but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. Just thought I perhaps ate something dodgy, although now I imagine I might just have the flu which is just wizard. My temperature does feel a couple degrees higher. Dunno where I'd even catch a flu from, aside from some dumbo not washing their hands properly and grabbing a doorknob or whatever." He heard Rose try and suppress a giggle at the small Donna-isms that crept into his speech every now and again. He sighed and continued, "And I didn’t want to disappoint you by not coming with you tonight. I mean I hate these things, all the pointless politics and other such nonsense, but I know you hate it too. I just thought we could maybe struggle through it together. Better with two right?” He cracked open an eye he didn’t even know he had closed and caught the soft look in Rose’s eyes and her smile in the mirror-polished walls.

“Well, we’re certainly struggling tonight.” She giggled as she wrapped his arm around her shoulders and gave him a little squeeze around his middle that he leaned into. The lift slowed to a stop and she more gently guided him out into the hallway. They were almost at their door when that dreaded, inevitable feeling took over him again. He heard Rose’s panicked gasp as she quickened her pace and once more dragged him along. Thankfully the Doctor still had the wherewithal to fish the sonic screwdriver out of his pocket and Rose was able to get the door to their room open and he was able to stumble into the loo just in the nick of time.

The Doctor hated this feeling, this strange detachment from his physical form as all the muscles in his gut, arms and throat contracted all at once. The pain increased exponentially once his stomach was well and truly empty, but his body still tried to purge itself. It was probably the most helpless he had ever felt in his entire life. After a few agonizing moments he slowly came back to himself. All his muscles finally unclenched themselves and he was finally able to move his face away from the bowl; but he was still sitting there gasping for breath. With a shaking hand, he reached up and flushed the toilet before he leaned back against the adjacent wall. Those small actions left him sweaty and exhausted. He barely registered Rose busying herself at the sink until she shut the faucet off and crouched in front of him with a damp flannel in her hand. Without any shred of hesitation or judgement she wiped his face clean then she got to work undoing his tie (something she rarely had the opportunity to do as he hardly wore them any more). He raised his eyebrow at her.

“Rose Tyler, are you undressing me?” The Doctor mustered up the energy for a smirk which Rose readily returned.

“Don’t get too excited, mister.” She giggled, slipping the strip of silk free and loosening the top buttons of his shirt. Another shiver rippled through him, whether it was from Rose carding her fingers through his sweaty hair, the fever that was beginning to cook his body from the inside out or both 

“Come on, let’s get you to bed. To sleep!” She emphasised the last word in response to his pout, although he honestly knew he didn’t have the energy to make good on his flirtations right now. Perhaps she would be amiable to a good cuddle at least? His heart sank at the thought. Rose was probably still expected at the party. The Canadian president probably expected an immediate apology; the country wasn’t so keen on doling out random ‘sorry’s even when things weren’t their fault in this universe. Besides he knew deep down he shouldn’t give her his germs. 

Rose stood up and the Doctor let himself be pulled up to his feet once more. He shuffled over to the sink and thoroughly brushed his teeth to rid himself of the foul taste still lingering in his mouth. Rose had left his side while he did so and when he stepped out of the loo, he saw that she had changed into the pyjamas she packed and was sitting on the edge of the bed presumably texting Jackie.

“You’re not going back to the party?” The Doctor asked. Rose shook her head and looked up from her phone.

“Well, you know I hate these parties and you didn’t want me to be alone. And I know you hate being tucked up in bed all by yourself. We’re already in each other’s orbit so much so I’m most likely gonna get your germs anyways, so I thought I’d keep you company. Besides Mum was able to smooth things over with the President and she’s reluctantly agreed to your idea of building the base under Lake Ontario. Although you have been ordered to stay at least two meters away from her when you’re in her presence from now on.” She smiled at him.

“Fine, that woman gives me the creeps anyway! But that’s not really a fair comparison you made,” He chuckled, slipping out of his suit jacket, “On the basis of the fact that you like being all tucked up in bed with me.”

“Usually, yes. But when I’m at risk of being puked on…” She trailed off and shot him a wry grin.

“Point made.” The Doctor sighed. He got as far as unbuttoning his shirt before he found he couldn’t keep his eyes open much longer and he just let himself collapse on the bed. It was only his top half that made it to the mattress, his legs dangled uselessly off the edge.

“Mum’s right, though.” Rose laughed as she stood up and started unlacing the Doctor’s trainers.

“‘Bout what?”

“You really are a toddler. Tony used to flop into bed like this almost every night.” The Doctor rolled over onto his back and half-heartedly glared at her. This didn’t deter Rose from stripping him down to his pants, grabbing his legs and folding him the rest of the way onto the bed before climbing in behind him. Any other night, he would have found those actions quite invigorating, but right now the fatigue was hitting him hard. Although his dreams of a cuddle might just be feasible seeing Rose was willing to share the bed with him. On force of habit, the Doctor started to roll over to face her, but she stopped him half way.

“Nope! You’re little spoon tonight!” She declared hugging him from behind to hopefully keep him facing away from her. “I also moved the bin to your side of the bed, just in case.”

“Thanks, love.” He sighed, burying himself deeper into his pillow as Rose threw the covers over them and turned the lights off. He really wanted to hold her in his arms, but he couldn’t argue against the practical side of this arrangement. Besides there was something so comforting in the way Rose was holding him and he was perfectly content in her arms. He felt her press a kiss to the top of his head as he allowed himself to drift to sleep.

Yes, life as a human came with its struggles, but as long as he had Rose beside him it was all worth it.

[whyeachstatesucks]

Today's Star:

Alaska

And if you're already saying Oh God No Not Her Again, CONGRATULATIONS! You guessed who I'm gonna talk about 😉

Flag score: 10/10 for using the big dipper

Where is Alaska? It's wayyyyyyyyyy over there, past Canada.

You might be thinking wow! That looks big. That's because it is! Here's Alaska compared to the contiguous 48 states:

Fun fact of the day: if you split Alaska in half and made two states, Al and Aska, Texas would still be the 3rd largest state.

Hate fact of the day: Alaska is where Sarah Palin comes from. Ohhhhh yes. I'm bringing her back. Because dear God. Why did a well-respected man like McCain meet her and decide "Yup, this is who I want to run with"?? Also as the first woman on a major party ticket, she gets to tour that around while also touting some of the most ridiculous bullshit I've ever seen.

Sarah Palin represents what frustrates me the most in American politics: bringing so-called Christian values into your politics so you can push your own beliefs onto others about abortion, creationism, and same-sex marriage. She supported the wildly racist birther movement against Obama, and she has been a vehement supporter of Trump. Blegh. Oh, and here's an article about it from NPR.

[valtsv]

no taste gang: ugh the new 2019 moomins animation is so UGLY like it’s a nice show and all but the animation style is... blegh 🤢

me (superb taste gang president):

[igot17]

Current mood

Tired of being treated like a foreigner in my home country :/

[jamiebongwater]

     The Telescreen was all over the place with this narrative today when I was at the gym. Apparently homies from the East Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren have been christened our new front runners by the Machine based on some new polling data, replacing retarded blegh dinosaur Joe Biden of Delaware. If this holds true and becomes the accepted narrative and the next iteration of our physical reality, I have to say I love it. I don’t know if you guys know this yet but I’m all in for Bernie Sanders and I think it’s important to be all in early because we have to run the right candidate. Which is clearly Bernie Sanders. Some people would probably call me sexist for not supporting sister Elizabeth Warren. I can’t stop them. I can only point out that it’s not my fault we live in a dumb, racist, sexist country and that gives her major electability issues, or that people will make way too much political hay out of the whole Native American thing or whatever. Some leftists might call me “not hardcore” for not supporting comrades Andrew Yang or Beto O’Rourke. There could be cases to be made for all of these, I guess. My case is this: we need to win this thing. For for fucking real this time.

     Use your fucking noodle, people: who in the field do Americans like, who already has a base, who could actually generate excitement enough to turn out young people to the polls but at the same time still be digestible to the people who traditionally go? Bernie goddamn Sanders, that’s who. On the heels of the Democratic Convention he was the most popular politician in the country according to national polling. If we (the Left) had ran him, he would have won. Without the DNC fucking it up for everyone by anointing Hilary, Bernie Sanders would have been President of the United States four years ago. The Rust Belt was dying for a chance to suck Bernie’s circumcised jewish cock in 2016. And they will do it all over again baby, just like it was the first time.

    Trump is now less popular than ever; he is down to his dumb ass little plurality of a base, now that everyone has had a chance to see what an idiot he is at some point or another. Bernie Sanders can do it for real this time. Bernie Sanders has the longest track record of being on the right side of History and all his policy positions are popular as fuck. Single-payer healthcare, for instance, has long shown support by a majority of Americans. Americans like no-bullshit candidates right now, and Bernie is it. 

     Maybe in a future America we can start running all kinds of fun, different socialist comrades with diverse personalities and interesting ideas. But right now we have a delicious Bernie burger in front of us that America is dying to eat. We just have to serve it up. The revolution starts with the Left serving America the fucking Bernie burger. Eat it, America! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE! BERNIE!                                You better give money to Bernie fucking Sanders

                                                                              Jamie Bongwater