#the point when youve read a story and a half and you think you know everything

[yume-fanfare]

people who think hajime still hates wearing dresses and feminity and such are here

[estrella-zoe39]

i love dumping random shit onto my tumblr anyway weird discussion of the most random fandoms combined go! mostly discuses love as core themes of stories.

i think my favourite pieces of media are those that just dont make sense if you dont view them as a love story. i came across this discovery as i was watching code geass ep 17 when lulu goes insane when he realises the one thing thats in his way is also the person he trusts completely. there is no other genuine explanation other than love for the reasoning of his reaction in that scene. with shirley he had this mellow yet sorrowful reaction when he realised he couldnt be with her anymore. not saying there wasnt a part of him that didnt love her but with suzaku? he goes berserk. whatever he felt couldnt have happened if he didnt love suzaku.

other good examples of this are frieren, orv, and house. there are more my brain is just kinda fried rn and i think these three are good examples of like. varying levels of how explicit the message is. (theyre all obvious af tho)

ill start with frieren because i think if youve even like. heard about it youll know but himmel and frierens relationship really is the core of like the entire story. a boy who loved too soon and a girl who loved too late. frieren just isnt. frieren when you take that away. frieren at its like core is about love you cant just remove that because then the story wouldnt be the same it probably wouldnt even exist!!! and im sure everyone knows this its just surprising how frieren isnt officially a romance manga considering its entire premise

another example is orv which is a bit harder to know if youve only read the webtoon. orvs story just wouldnt exist if hsy didnt love kdj. if she didnt write yjh and then kdj wouldve died, plain and simple. and if kdj didnt love the story back then he wouldve also died. hsy, yjh, and kdj at their core are their love for each other. hsy spent 12 years writing a book everyday just for kdj to keep on living and in kaizenix she waited 50 years for him. yjh spent the entirety of orv learning how to love from kdj, through fighting alongside him, through protecting him, through seeing him die, even when he learned he wasnt real he still believed him, and in the end yjh was the one who let kdj be known in every universe. his mission was something that he only could brave through if he loved kdj. and he did. speaking of kdj, i think its very obvious to everyone but his self-sacrificial nature is due to him only knowing that as a love language. something else is how without kdjs love, orv also just wouldnt exist. if his love for twsa, for the chars, for STORIES, didnt exist, he wouldnt be alive. if he didnt keep on molding twsa, to be alongside every yjh and co, to suggest new plot points, he wouldve never came to love it.

onto my last example, house. now i think you gotta be a very specific type of person to catch them (its called not being homophobic) but man are house and wilson like. house the show itself. their love defines the show, from the first scene to the last. he only took that first case which started everything because of wilson. half of his stupid antics are because of wilson. his love starts and ends at wilson because he knows wilson will be the one person who will always be there consistently for him. because no matter what happens, like house getting sent to trial by tritter, or house failing to save amber, they will be together, whether they want to or not. so when wilson is diagnosed with cancer, he breaks. the one person who he thought would always be there for him. isnt. in fact, he'll die first. and so, he does everything. he listens to wilsons stupid fucking ideas because he needs wilson to be there for him, he needs wilson at his grave, not him at wilsons. thats why he gives everything to wilson, his vicodin, his attention, and even his life. the only reason he dies is so he can be with wilson. none of this actions can be done without love in them, absolutely none. i think my favourite quote of them is "if house chops down a tree, and wilson isnt around to hear it, did it really fall?" it just sums up their stupid, needy, insane, and romantic dynamic so much.

all of these pieces of media need love in them to be them, so i hope ive loved them more than they could ever want, despite some of their flaws 🩷🩷🩷

[thatneoncrisis]

oh captain my captain, I've read maybe ten TLT fics in all my time here so I'm not necessarily familiar with the common fandom takes. If you haven't already, would you mind elaborating on them? I'd like to know more about the history that prompted you to write your latest fic. please and thank you, I'm still reeling from the update today and I think I need to hear like. all of your thoughts ever about writing it

GUH. christ. idk its like a lot of things, its a year and a half of fucking around on ao3 and getting annoyed in a way i am only susceptible to because im fucking Online. if i get too specific it starts calling people out by name which i want to avoid so keeping it super broad:

the way gideon is written wrt being a trans butch of color

connected to that point like, the insane amount of rizz she has. god its so funny. to me

the way fics have like an interesting premise but run at a breakneck pace to get to the kissing and then it just ends. nooo the world was so cool go back nooooooo

how a lot of stories do this thing where they want ianthe to be a shitty ex girlfriend/half hearted love interest but they cant commit to her being genuinely awful or treat her like a person with feelings so it accidentally reads like her worst crime was being uncommunicative and bad at sex and unfunny, because the audience is already primed to hate her so were just like yeah this tracks

the sixth mommying harrow to an unbearable degree, like they treat her the way they treated nona in canon, this also extends to them wingmanning her

the like. paradox of wanting genuine conflict between harrow and gideon but also retaining their close banter. this is a hard thing to do if theyre like MEETING in a fic for the first time. theres rarely a reason for them to hate each other with such intensity and thus it fizzles out like immediately. i didnt even really bother with this i just did an immediate inexplicable closeness that is then undercut when harrow snaps out of it by going back to how she generally is

wrt harrows relationship with her faith this is less something im upset about and more something i rarely seen done in a way that interests me as an individual. shes catholic Ish, it doesnt really matter re her day to day outside of her childhood or maybe her job, she might pray sometimes or allude to long since conquered internalized homophobia

and in a similar vein like the very. Correct way people talk. its all very precise terminology to describe their sexuality or gender or a diagnosis they got and are actively working on. nobody is a faggot or transsexual or a girlboy or a thing they dont have a word for but know exists

again im saying this as often as i can. if youve done any of this cool. genuinely. keep doing it i cant stop you. its more about how often i see it just compound in on itself over and over, its the vast majority of fics that do at least one of these things. its a personal problem about wanting more from something that doesnt want to be more, and i cant make it more, because its not mine and wasnt made for me

[bareee]

are you planning to ship your tav with any of the companions? youve mentioned that the main 6 he would considsr too young but halsin or someone along those lines? i think the mutual stability in their characters would soften each others edges in a very sweet way but if you plan to keep your tav single i think their friendship would be extremely interesting too! will minthara get killed or added to the party? im so excited to see how all the characters resolve their arcs and how the creche and moonrise and everything else goes :D your art is so gorgeous too!!! the way you draw all of the characters is just so good <333 you really catch all the aspects of them that make people adore this game and thats such an amazing skill to have!!! i hope you have a good whatever it is when you read this!!!!!

Imma try keepin this short…but I doubt it’s gonna be XD

1. ‘Ppreciate ya~ happy ya enjoy my mess XD even though Im always over in the corner muttering about my poor consistency that drives me crazy

2. I’ve said this many times I’m pretty sure as replies to comments lost in the void somewhere, Through the 2 full playthroughs I’ve done, I didnt care to romance cause I couldn’t help but cringe myself even at the gale and Astarion stuff I couldn’t get away from. Im not good at romancy stuff movin so quickly like the game puts ya through,so I was dyin. And ‘in game wise’ Mark is like how Jaheria is, I’ve found thats the best way to put it. He’s gone through enough for himself to handle already at this point in his background story, and the best way to describe it is he’s just tired. Maybe in post game he’ll warm up, I think Imma leave that up to all yal and yer votin’ honestly. I’ve thought about it for a bit now and yal’s choices in Mark’s story I give you directing who he grows close to works well for me as I warm up to these goofballs, course as I said It’d still be more post game when he relaxes with stuff like that depending on what path yal put him on.

3. Kinda related to #2, Half of the main six are too young, not all. Gale is i think literally Mark’s age if not close and if I ignore elves and their age weirdness, Astarion and Shadowheart are fine. If/when the vote options open Mark up more to someone, Wyll,Karlach, and Laezel will never be more than family/kids to him. Nu….

4.We’ll get to Halsin���. I know I say that a lot when he comes up, but ughhh…. I will say I agree him and Mark have a lot they share and can grow together, but the horny side of Halsin drove me insane in the game and really made it where it was hard to talk to him cause the niceness felt so….uggghhh…. I’ll get to it,I’ll get to it, I’m gettin around that part of Halsin that loves to be constantly shoved in front… but aghhhh. Jaheria’s my favorite outta the side peeps obviously XD and Minsc is fun

5. Spoiler, I’m letting yal decide on if Minthara stays around! Wooooo, we’ll get thereeee XD And if yal choose to keep her alive it wont mean other peeps leave like the game does, we’ll see how that goessss. Halsin and wyll and whoever else will stay around of course, Wyll’s adorable and yal ain’t takin em away from me. In my playthroughs I could never go her route officially, never will. Little baby tieflings too cute, I refuse…

Think that’s all of it, woooooo I did ittttt! Hope I make senseeeeee yaaaay

[desertsfic]

im probably about to get very fucking personal, and you have every right to delete this now, now, now and never think about it or me, ever again, but i needed to get it out of me or i was going to choke on it.

i recently discovered your fanfic Metempsychosis buried in the rubble of some (really good) fucking piece of fanart. it barely had a hundred likes (absolute fucking crime, gorgeous artwork) but it was enough of an anglerfish to draw me in and— I'll be blatantly honest, i have no idea how much about mental illness you have first hand experience with but i'm going to guess youre painfully familiar with it because reading it was like watching someone put the inside of my head on a platter and i finally got to point to things and go "how did you explain that"

the way you formatted the paragraphs was so well done i got beyond excited to read, for what is probably the first and only time in my life, a story that was written the way my train of thought tends to be. the cadence, the way it abruptly shifts but you can still keep track of it but when you start losing track its ok, its ok, its ok, its fine, its whatever, its just a fucking— fuck, and, fuck, and fuck— and then it switches off into the next day, the next hour, yesterday and then its 5pm forever.

you encapsulate the phenomenon of cptsd so starkly its insane, i cannot stress enough how much people rarely depict my own personal experiences with cptsd this accurately. it resonated profoundly . what's genius about the way you set this fic up is that when you meet him, its dirk, yeah, of course, its dirk, and then you get to the chapter where Diedrich meets Dirk in a dream bubble for the very first (coherent) time and you write this young dream bubble Dirk so absolutely in character that youre suddenly flooded with all the memory and weight of what young, canon dirk, is truly like and the abysmal weight (of) realization, that the "dirk" youve been reading the pov from, is so fucking isolated its suffocating.

your use of color is jarring and it fits so well with disrupting the flow of the story just enough that it clicks in the back of your head like shards of glass, but youre so invested in the story its impossible to be truly pulled out of it, because its You, Its always been You— oh god and Jade?

bark bark bark, ok! ! just nail — man you nailed EVERYONE on the head but wrote them jussstttt off enough that it unsettles you but the unsettling sensation is so small compared to everything else you cant even feel it until something happens— Dave

you wrote dave. so well.

dude, im telling you, i finished his first rambly bullshit paragraph you introduced to the fic and i teared up so hard i almost cried . i cannot explain to you how perfectly you have encapsulated his nervous energy, his endearing petulance, the soft murmurs that betray what he's thinking even when he's saying something else. you got his grin to his smile to his smirks down to a T and it makes me so emotional i want to punch a fuckin hole in my wall for being unable to capture it in my art the way you capture it in words. i dont think you truly understand your ability to express Imagery in Words.

I have spent an ungodly amount of time and energy and whatever else bullshit there is to spend on observing and drinking books, arts, media, fanfic, music, theatre, anything, anything, anything at-fucking-all that involves story and prying loose from it ( every god damn thing i have ever touched) Meaning and Emotions and a god damn fucking collection of shambled personalities that mumble out half memorized lines of their source material, god— even people are experiences to me, i meet someone in the street for three seconds, have an interaction and i remember them for decades but ill forget something "important" because ?.?.fuckifiknowwhy anyways, every human person is an experience to me, and that experience, it counts as a story in my eyes, and i need you to know with my heart and soul and every fucking fiber of my *gestures to all of me* shit fuck whatever the fuck is happening right here is so unbelievably god damn fucking impressed with what you have written.

i have read, renowned authors whose stories pale in comparison to the absolute fucking gold you just puked into every crevice of the subtext

i do not know how to bind books, but if i ever get permission from you, i am binding this into a fucking book because it reached inside me and fuckinf grabbed my soul and shook it everywhere and screamed "hey! hey look! they put your experiences into Words and you can Understand them."

so thank you.

thank you for writing this. thank you for sharing this, with the world. thank you for letting it stay. i havent finished it, i just finished reading chapter 10 but it was eating me up inside. my friends express a lot that im a lot more— that i experience emotions on a level most people do not, so id very timidly like to add i do not know how this (me) is going to sound and maybe it sounds crazy but. man.

if none of this makes sense just please, please, if youre going to take anything away from this its that You Have Had An Impact In My Life. you have changed me.

and maybe you delete this, maybe you never see this, maybe this gets lost to time forever and ok, ok ok yeah yeahyeah thats cool, whatever, but.

your story did ultimately reach me in a way that stupid fucking kudos button never could express.

so thank you. and know ill never be able to write enough but that if i could id sculpt everything you put into my head.

Ft: art piece i dont think ill ever finish but that you inspired

Hi there! I've been saving this one because it's so long and so personal I wasn't sure if it was appropriate to post!

But it meant so much to me, and I wanted you to know I saw it and read it (and of course showed my closest friends as well haha hope that's okay).

It is super exciting (and flattering) that you felt like the writing style mirrored your thought process! I think second person is so personal, perhaps only second to first person (any pun not intended), and I like it because in a way it definitely lends itself to a writing style based on the narrator/pov. I don't know how well I explained or even how well I wrote that but! Yeah :) thank you!

But seriously, this ask has been sitting here for me to look at for too long, and I wanted you to know that it is perhaps one of the longest, kindest things anyone has ever said about metempsychosis, and that means so much to me!

I know you've long since posted the finished artwork, but it made me so happy the first time I saw it, practically breathless even! To see a little bit of inspiration for the world I've tried cobbling together through words.

So thank YOU, seriously, for being so willing to be open and raw with me. It has meant a lot during this quiet year, and I hope I'm not too late letting you know all this!

[verdantglow]

so is it safe to assume that you're going to be going through each of the seasons chronologically then? and exploring how each of their relationships form and change over time? or are you going to pick a set point that is the "current" times and make references back to older series and stunts?

also out of curiousity, whos pov(s) do you watch? im always interested in learning this stuff

also also i think seer of void is perfect for Sc(h)ott and i think heir of rage works really well for Joel. im trying so hard to think of any other classes that would work for him and im just... coming up short. maybe page? because i can see him inciting rage in others and growing stronger as time passes with it. but i dunno. youve thrown me back into my homestuck phase that i thought i had gotten out of years ago and thus have forgotten too much :')

So that’s a bit of tricky question. The campaigns happen in the chronological order of the seasons, but I honestly haven’t settled on what is ‘now.’ Tbh, I’m kinda treating this AU as a playground for all my crossover relevant headcanons & plot bunnies. I’m not planning on making one cohesive fic for this AU. My hope is to do an assortment of art, comics, & fics (& maybe animations?; gods I’d love to do mini animations/“flashes” for this & would like to try to, if I can get my brain to sit still long enough). Each piece will be a different chunk of the story, a significant event or plot line that I feel like examining, rather than there being a linear story. Kinda like a selection of vignettes rather than a novel.

Granted, I’m not married to this idea yet. It’d be a nice way to do things in that it’d allow me to follow my inspirations rather than be stuck in a timeline. But at the same time, I’m not sure how that’ll read/look. I might just start at Secret Life or after Secret Life & do everything else as flashbacks. But it’ll definitely be around the Secret Life time if I do decide to do some linearity because Gem is bae & I desperately need her at least somewhat prominent. (& she joins up with the others between sometime before Limited Life & before Secret Life. Haven’t nailed that quite down either, but she wasn’t part of the group from the get go, like the others. (Everyone was somehow linked to each other from before/around the 3rd Life campaign, even if they didn’t join the VLARP until Last Life.))

Tbh, I haven’t comprehensively watched most of the Traffic seasons. I started watching mcyt when Limited Life was happening, but couldn’t maintain focus at the time. (Probably because I was watching Grian’s viewpoint of EVERY SINGLE SEASON AT THE SAME TIME, dear god what is wrong with me lol.) So until recently, I’d only seen the first half of all of Grian’s seasons. I finally finished his 3rd Life the other day (in one sitting mind you; wild experience) as well as Martyn’s 3rd Life.

When Secret Life rolled around, I was more invested & wound up watching Grian, Mumbo, Gem, Joel, Scar, Lizzie, Martyn, Jimmy, & some of Etho & Cleo.

Right now I’ve got Jimmy & Tango’s 3rd Life, Joel’s Last Life, & Etho’s Double Life going on a rotation. I think that’s all I’m currently watching? I’m kinda crawling through those as I’ve got an absolutely massive list of Hermits I’m watching at the moment. Other POVs I’ve got earmarked for watching at some point: Impulse 3L, Lizzie, Martyn, & Pearl LL, Joel, BigB, & Pearl DL, & I haven’t even started figuring out who I’m gonna watch for LimL.

I’m so flattered this AU is getting you back to Homestuck! You know, I hadn’t seriously thought about it in… six? seven? years, until I had the thought that Scar & Grian made sense as fucked up moirails & I suddenly had an AU to be fascinated by lol. Like. I haven’t even been observing the high holidays for a few years, & now I’m doing in depth research on Lore so I can work on this AU. Funny how life works that way, a new special interest resurrecting an old one.

[autisticethanmorgan]

How I would continue mbav in comic form

disney, teletoon, fresh tv, whoever the fuck owns the rights to this, please let me have them

LONG ASS POST WARNING

we are past the days of any further mbav television content, but you know what has a much lower production cost and would fill a specific niche? a comic/graphic novel continuation >:) Teen rating because pretty much anyone who was the target audience of mbav when it was airing is late teen or older and I want the characters actions to have more consequence, basically i want to injure my protagonists

I would pick up a month or two after the lucifractor explosion, establish the new status quo, we cant really do a continuation if they all died so Ill settle for injury and property damage, including putting out main man Ethan in a half magic/half head trauma induced coma! this is kind of a cheap story beat but i cant help it I love a coma and its a good opportunity for both sarah and benny to get a little bit darker and have some interesting character development, with the most important difference being that sarah basically gets through it and refuses to compromise her morals whereas benny is very lost without ethan being his moral compass and becomes more and more reckless with magic, eventually leading to him attempting a very risky spell to wake ethan up which does work but basically has sarah and his grandma like 'wtf is wrong with you'

meanwhile erica and rory are fucking around in the states bc this would be a very fun B plot for a while before they return, if youve read the comic crowded im thinking of that kind of vibe

so anyway ethan is back up and running now and everyone is kind of trying to get back to normal but its really hard and theres a lot of residual magic causing problems and making bennys magic more powerful, and its giving ethan basically constant migranes and really vague visions and horrifying dreams and all that good 'plauged with visions' stuff.

sarah and ethan have not gone on any more dates at this point so theyre not dating but they do have this kind of romantic aspect of their relationship and they basically havent talked about it since the explosion, kind of a silent understanding of like 'i love you and i dont really care that its platonic or romantic but i just understand whats happening in a way almost no one else can and Im here for you even if now just isnt the time for us'

benny is continuing to get more reckless and kind of vengeful with his magic use, testing his limits, using magic to get back and the people making snide comments in the halls, especially after ethan comes back to school, when your best friend is in a coma for two months you get kind of defensive about it I guess. If you’re not a bethan truther I’m sorry but Ethan can have two intense friendships that border on romantic, both of which are societally non conventional/acceptable. In fact he has to. It is so good narratively. but anyway at some point there is a particularly bad incident benny gets more vindictive than ever before and hurts this guy pretty badly till ethan is yelling at him to stop

at this point ethan and sarah and grandma are like 'uhhh benny is getting kinda intense' but they dont even know the half of it because secretly he learning magic that isnt in his book, researching on his own and making stuff up. the magic itself wants him to be getting stronger, its not like sentient but it does have kind of a self preservation instinct? like a power begets power type thing that magic users can very easily be driven mad by their own magic if theyre not careful or dont have another magic user telling them to touch grass.

i think benny can have unexamined mental repercussions due to his parents having either left him or died. as a treat. so when he get magic and suddenly he can control things he couldnt before yknow who can blame him for getting kind of lost, i personally would become insane. I havent really though about the specific of him devolving and mentally deteriorating. I dont want him to be too evil yknow? bc we will be letting him get redeemed latr bc im a sucker for that.

at this point erica and rory return from their wacky adventures bc this is no time for a silly b plot. and they are like huh benny got kind of weird and different and ethan is like haha no hes fine

he is not fine

he is actually sneaking out of town to meet another magic user who is basically like 'i will act like a father figure to gain your trust' and benny is like 'epic!' yknow because he. becuase. because he has no dad :D. he gets exposed to magic that grandma doesnt do and is both scared and impressed and this other magic user is like 'she doesnt want you to learn this >:| she doesnt want you to reach your fullest potential' and benny is like 'hmm idk about that' but they keep talking until this guy is like 'arent you tired of being nice?dont you just wanna go apeshit?' but benny is still like 'hmmm my really close boy best friend probably wouldnt like that' but its too late. its already in motion.

benny gets more evil. he is causing problems in whitechapel and does not seem to care. benny be like 'thought acquired: if i control everything and destroy the things i dont like then everything will be good and i can protect my friends forever. i see no moral problems with this' more development into evil, dont ask me the details i dont know.

bennys evil girl summer culminates in some kind of fight where ethan enters his mind bc yeah obviosly thats where this has been going, idk if ive just spent to long thinking about jean grey and scott summers but this is the most interesting thing ever. i want to see ethan walking through bennys memories end of life is strange style and realizing that all of his most important memories are of them together, times that theyve comforted or protected each other and it ends with a memory of from just before they met sarah. that memory fades out and ethan is standing on the street in front of his house, so he goes up to his room and benny is there but this time its really him and not just a memory version of him and benny is like 'i dont know how it got to be like this, this isnt what i wanted, how do i fix this?' and ethan is like 'i havent given up on you, you can still come back and we can try to make it right' and they hug and they come back to reality and benny basically breaks down sobbing yeah i <3 sad boys. he has a lot of regrets. ( i have written a lot of this scene bc i am insane and obsessed)

by the next morning hes left town. only leaving a note saying he needs to go away and clear the magic out of his head. hes reversed as much of the magic he did as he could, and left ethan with a spell leaving the words 'semper reveniam ad te' on his arm that will disappear when they see each other again or if benny dies.

[trainingdummyrabbit]

Hey, I know you're a Projmoon fan, I guess I'm curious because I'm at an impasse on what to do rn, did you play through the entirety of Lobotomy Corporation, did you just skip it entirely for Ruina, or did you read a summary/watch a cutscene compilation or let's play/something else? And what would you recommend as an approach? I've tried playing through Lobcorp but it's just extremely tedious and I'm considering skipping it to get to something I think I'll like more (Ruina)

oh!! ok my answer is a little bit complicated tbh; bc i havent. played any of the series at all. WAHAHA

what i personally did was um. attempt to watch an incomplete lobcorp lp ==> couple months radio silence ==> watched one (1) day of gameplay from a friend (for one boss fight specifically) ==> got recc'd summaries i slowly watched thru ==> couple months radio silence. ==> watched someone else's (actually complete) lp ==> (rabbit hole'd) summaries again.

um. dont do that. JSNBGKHDBK

im not gonna act like i Know how t tackle a series like this (since it took me like 4 circles around to Actually Commit to it (and also im kind of. new. here)) BUT from my personal opinion of the series and how it carries itself, i CAN recc at least Some order of something.

TRY to play Lobcorp! which i can kinda see is already done on your end. its something i Super want to try but absolutely know i wont finish SKJFNKDJF;; the main draw of PLAYING lobcorp is the struggle. it Sucks! its Long and Tedious and the game HATES you... and that's the point! it's plot relevant. it's an experience i didnt get to feel, but can so painfully just Understand by merit of watching someone else do it, only skipping about occasionally. tl;dr: the game loop is Telling A Story, Dragging You In-- THAT is the draw in insisting folks play it. it genuinely makes the... everything... hit that much harder. Once youve given it your best, dont feel ashamed to look for someone who's Done It! (i hear a lot of folks havent completed lobcorp themselves, so ✌) DONT UM . SKIP IT COMPLETELY THOUGH ruina is literally a Direct Sequel to it. i think it does a good enough job at introducing the setting on its own, but i am GRABBING YOU this shit will hit fucking DIFFERENT if you Understand. also its a lovely game worth looking at and appreciating bc GOD what a fucking experience those last few days are. i do not cry that easily to stuff like this but OUGH. AUGH. H

Wonderlab??? its a webcomic thats heavily reccommended you read through, but due to um. circumstances . it doesnt seem t be feasible atm. however, there IS a synopsis up thats pretty darn good! wonderlab, iirc, isn't directly plot relevant, but DOES introduce certain important concepts for ruina. however, it's not Mandatory, as ruina Also explains these things. as far as i know, its just a fun lil kickass story in the universe taking place between series you can look at if you want :)

Play Ruina! or watch, i guess. again, i watched an lp and it kicked the shit out of me emotionally (affectionate) so honestly do what you will here, i suppose.

honestly though, these are both super fucking long-ass and ridiculously heavy games so you're probably gonna be here a while. it took me like two weeks of committed watch time t look into Properly, and that was even when i started skipping straight to cutscenes at the latter half. embrace that! i cant stop you, but id heavily reccommend at the very least watching through the gameplay loop for a good chunk of the time-- giving the story that space really hammers home the... Everything. heavily heavily recc letting it Have that space.

for ruina specifically though, definitely at least watch through the beginning and ending legs of every fight-- and at least a solid chunk of every boss fight. if you're intent on skipping round gameplay loops like i did, imean. watch the boss fights watch the boss fights these fuckers do NOT play around. i cannot applaud these games' soundtracks enough and i wont say anything but trust me trust me trust me.

ANYWAY. here's the stuff that was recc'd to me, personally! if you wanna give watching through the series a go! :]

Lobcorp LP: [x] (Commentated+Completed! I couldn't find any no-commentary ones that were finished, but honestly for its gameplay loop it Helps. Blind on his end, but he does genuinely really like the series so i give it a thumbs up ✌) Ruina LP: [x] (Same guy :] also completed!) Lobcorp SUMMARY: [x] (Brief, but a good opener+summary!) Wonderlab SUMMARY: [x] (It Sure Is Wonderlab!!) Ruina SUMMARY: [x] [x] (Actually incomplete, but goes pretty well in depth and is easy to watch+absorb.) Alt SUMMARY: [x] (Consists of both parts of the duology! I haven't actually watched it in a while so i don't exactly remember much t say about it, but it sure is on my list!)

[bookshop]

i recently came across defining draco malfoy (in case you dont remember, its a piece from 2004 on livejournal written for idol-reflection i believe). and can i just say, this is probably my favorite hp essay? i read a lot of hp essays, and love a lot of them (some more now as im desperately searching the internet for the ‘fandom resources’ linked at the bottom, because some of the links are broken).

anyway, you might not see this because it doesnt seem like youve been active in a bit, or maybe youre just not at all interested in harry potter and don’t really care (or maybe youre the wrong person, and are currently Very Confused). but, do you agree with everything you said in your essay, in retrospect? is there anything you would change, given the chance to re-do it? thx <3

Haha, this is actually pretty wild because a) i am the right person and b) i've just in the last 3 weeks kinda fallen into one of those periodic H/D fanfic rereading binges I go into once every 6 or 7 years, so your timing is great.

Back in my HP fandom heyday I also read a lot of HP essays, so i'm really very flattered to get this comment. My essay (which is also on AO3, currently locked to users) was written before book 6, and while for obvious painful reasons i haven't reread it lately and won't be rereading it, i still remember the feeling of reading it for the first time, almost breathless at how much of the fandom's ideas on Draco were being validated through that book. Rereading the essay now, I was spot-on pointing out that "Draco’s biggest moments in the books are all defined by a lack of action," considering his climactic moment is his inability to kill Dumbledore.

It's clear, too, that I gave JKR far more credit for wanting to deconstruct her own established ideas about Slytherin than she deserved; I like many fans was hugely let down by her lack of real engagement in book 7 with the portrayal of Slytherin as the blanket catch-all house for Evil Children, and of course the way she treated Draco in the end was part of that. I still think it's utterly laughable, if not contemptible, that she began the story stating that all four houses needed to unite, and then ended up with every single Slytherin walking out to join Voldemort, lolol fuck her. 😂 I think, for me, that was the single biggest cop-out (among many) in the final book, because she did so much in book 6 to complicate Draco's identity and give him the possibility of redemption only to half-assedly throw it away in book 7, forget about him and every other Slytherin Harry's age, and revert to using him for plot expediencies. Just hugely disappointing.

i'm sure i probably wrote some gushing triumphant meta about draco on my LJ after book 6 came out. In retrospect, i'm not really fond of my general reaction to book 7 — it was posted very soon after i'd finished reading it, and i was running on the fumes of fannish enthusiasm. but i had been yelling for years at that point about JKR's maltreatment of Slytherin, so it occupied a lot of my attention in that review. It still does, honestly; i see Rowling's complete disinterest in deconstructing Slytherin's ideology and place within the rest of the wizarding world — her continuing to frame the entire house as a bunch of racist, power-hungry supremacists, while also still allowing all of the racists to resume their place in society after the war is over as though nothing much had changed — as a huge rosetta stone for what we now know is her larger pernicious position of centrist ambivalence. She was ultimately fine with Draco and his entire house being bigots, because in her ultimate worldview, a little bit of bigotry in the world is inevitable and ineradicable. Why bother trying? Why bother freeing the house elves? Why bother finding one non-racist Slytherin, much less, idk, opening Slytherin to Muggleborns who aren't shamefully hiding their identities? Why bother tearing down and rebuilding when you can just sloppily pave over and call it reformation and change?

Ugh, idk why I'm even bothering trying to explicate the mind of a disgusting bigot. Go read lettered's By the Grace instead of Harry Potter:

“Of course,” Bickford went on, “we will replant.”

“No,” said Kavika, “we won’t. If that tree was a symbol of this institution, does not the fact that a person was trapped inside of it for a millennia suggest that something is deeply troubled within the institution itself? The tree should not be replanted; the rot of it should be remembered and honoured.”

“Reveal will happen soon, and everything will change anyway.” Bickford’s voice was plaintive. “Can we not have just one thing remain the same?”

“No,” said Harry. “Kavika is right. And you’re right as well, Mister Bickford. Everything is changing.”

[poptod]

Headcanons for Ahkmenrah with a major stoner s/o?

notes: u dont know the demon within me youve unleashed. i had a physical spasm when i read this request.

+

- You work at the museum as a janitor. Not a great job, but it pays, and you only have to have three roommates instead of your original five.

- Of course it's easiest to clean during the day, when everything's unlocked and all that

– But of your own will, you decided to clean at night. The museum director said nothing about it

– (even though it was secretly so you could smoke on the premises without getting caught)

– of course. of Course when you're so stoned you can barely move, you hear noises inside the museum.

– first you think it's just the security guard, but that's way more than just one person's footsteps, and you know larry doesn't have any friends

– you quietly make your way back inside, the back of your throat burning since you didn't bring a water bottle (which you really should've)

– Obviously you think you're hallucinating.

– You run to the bathroom to compose yourself, sobering up and splashing your face with water. you then confront larry, who's having a drinking contest with one of the exhibits, and all is explained with a perfectly innocent explanation

– from then on you keep your smoking sessions more below the radar.

– also, from then on, you talked with historical figures who were supposed to be dead for hundreds of years but were reanimated through the power of ancient, archaic magic

– also fun

– but actually. Sacagawea? Christopher Columbus? yours to know. and torture. should you want to. colonel custer certainly earns some of your ire.

– you do make an effort to flirt with one of the exhibits though

– theres this really cute boy

– and he just gets so flustered by everything you say. its actually hilarious but also very sweet

– if you ever touch him, he gets all blushy and stutters his way through half-thought out sentences

– one evening you don't get much of a chance to freshen up after you smoke outside. ahk comes out of the museum, finds you, and you barely have time to squish the roach beneath your heel before he's standing in front of you

– he talks to you as usual, rambling slightly about his feelings like usual until he takes a deep breath and notices something in the air

– it's not that he can't know about your smoking habits. it's just. he's a pharaoh. you're not sure how well he's going to understand the concept of getting high

- "Do you smell that?"

- "... smell what?"

- "Burning... something. It smells familiar. Like an herb."

- your eyes widened and in a split second you remembered being a young stoner, looking up the history of marijuana to better understand the laws around it (turns out its mostly racism but whatever)

- egyptians had weed. it was found on mummies.

- for the life of you, you can't remember what they used it for though

- "You might be smelling my joint," you say very quietly.

- "Your what?"

- "Joint. It's something you smoke."

- "Like a pipe?"

- "... something like that," you say. "I'll bring one tomorrow."

- tomorrow comes and you stay true to your word

– when you light it up, puffing until smoke runs in and out of your lungs -

- the prince watches you with wide eyes, his golden clothes reflecting the dismal lighting of the streetlamps.

- "I know what that is!" he says suddenly, nearly jumping with excitement. "shemshemet!"

- it takes a second but you get him to explain what he means. turns out he's right – that's what his language calls weed. shemshemet. and he looks fucking delighted when he finds out.

- "Why are you smiling like that?" You ask, but his smile has you instinctively laughing

- "I smoked this all the time with one of my friends, back in Egypt. Let me!"

- he reaches for the joint, you put your hand over his face, pushing him back as you laugh

- "Careful with it!" you warn him. "Smoking this is a little different than your pipes."

- he coughs. a lot.

- you educate him on how a rolled joint works, and in the end you're both incredibly high from practicing so much. it makes an interesting story for when you go back inside looking blazed as you feel

- eventually it gets to the point that you realize he knows perfectly well how to smoke, he's pretending like he doesn't.

- he's just trying to get you to move closer to him. when you help him, you touch him, instructing him how to hold it so it doesn't burn him, how to inhale and how to use his lips

- This'll shut him up, you think

- "If you're really having this much trouble with it, I'll shotgun you," you say with an 'exasperated' sigh

- "What's that?"

- oh, he's so cute when he doesn't know what the hell's going on

- you take a long drag, set the joint aside, grab the back of his head and pull him in.

- since you can't speak proper, your hand moves to his face, thumb prying at his lips till he opens his mouth

- there you hook your thumb into his jaw, pushing on his tongue and pulling him forward till your lips just barely meet and you can blow the smoke into his mouth

- his knees physically buckle. you have to catch him from falling and nearly none of the smoke actually makes it into his lungs but you're laughing way too hard to care

- he's really just adorable, isn't he?

- "You are welcome to do that any time," he says.

- "If that's the reaction I get, I most certainly fucking will."

[cartoonemotion]

i was a bit confused by other people’s confusion as to why chuck started acting a lot more humbled and, honestly, a bit more soft spoken and nice after his face-turn, and this post poses basically all the things i was thinking about the reasons as to why, BUT ! am i still going to make a sprawling post talking abt how i think its all these reasons kind of interlocking ? Absolutely I Am

anyhoo. as i saw some point out again in the tag chuck is a kind of "might makes right" kind of guy-- but it's not just the strength that makes chuck so fervently loyal to him, it's his (percieved) guts and determination to take what he wants and needs, and we kind of see chuck trying to emulate that quality. he tries literally everything he can think of to get the great leader to come down and do his cool great leader stuff; getting literally severed in half and captured overall doesn't stop him, he goes above and beyond any generic grunt alien by not only getting the leader down here, but by destroying the morale of the hero ! (that line he says that everyone thinks theyre the hero in their own story is interesting, though. might return to that separately some day)

that being said, i think also it's interesting that when the great leader turned out to be a coward, chuck still tried to cling (somewhat literally !) to his faith in the great leader and his sort of place in his grunt alien status. i think it's when the great leader kicks him off of the platform and leaves him for what one might assume to be dead is when chuck really starts having everything sink in for him; bc the other thing chuck really seems to like/want is validation, from those he looks up to specifically. he thinks the great leader will reward him, yes, but it seems like even more than physical reward, he wants praise. he wants his great leader to see him as special, and maybe for the others of his ilk to idealize him similarly to the way he idolizes their leader-- i think it’s fair to assume chuck and his peers werent afforded much in the way of individuality.. i cant provide screencaps bc netflix hates me, but in the scene where his leader shows up, he goes from “it’s me, chuck” to “er-- well, i’m the one who called you...” when the ol’ GL gives him something of a withering look for providing a name... and he specifically says “i don’t wanna be stuck chuck anymore” to him before his leader kicks him off and leaves him for dead ! the text... * chef’s kiss * Delicious

so, seeing as chuck kind of polarizes-- the GL and his army are all abandoning cowards, while The Kid (who saved him, that’s likely still fresh in his mind too) turned out to be more true to the idealizes chuck was prizing in his leader this whole time. i think his next logical leap is to try to think, well, where does kid exactly get his bravery and determination from ? we as the audience get to figure that there’s a couple of different contributors to this, but with the time that chuck’s spent with kid, he knows kid adheres very strongly to the idea of your classic comic book superhero (even if the kid’s understanding of what makes a hero is also a bit misinformed, but, if youre reading this youve already seen the show, you know how kid grows. thats a different post). and we know hes also been reading quite a few comics, so he knows what their idea of a hero (and a heroic subordinate) are: brave, confident, charismatic, magnanimous... in a word, nice !

also, chuck brings up that speaking english without his little doohickey is painful for him.. whether he meant physically painful or in more of a sense of his pride, both seem equally likely to me, but ! the point still stands ! it’s hard to do the kind of long, pithy comebacks and verbal take-downs hes been trading with people if speaking hurts him. and while he did say the pain was one he would endure for the sake of the kid, at the end of the day, saying the nice thing is 9 out of 10 times a whole lot shorter than the mean thing

with these last 2 points though, i think chuck-- while actually committed to being reformed and a good guy now !-- has a lot to learn about what’s actually the spirit of good-guy-ness vs the form. he still has little hints i feel like (his little cry of “you disrespect Kid Cosmic !!!!” felt very reminiscent of the way he talked about his old leader i feel like, and when he, oh yeah, SHOT A TRUCK. WITH A REAL GUN. LOVE THAT THEY LET YOU GET AWAY WITH THAT ONE, CRAIG AND CO) that shows a lot of his “niceness” now is emulation vs actual true understanding of how to be nice. i’d hope we’ll see him learn the actual difference and better ways to grow and be a good person onscreen, but also since s2 will take place 6 months after the final confrontation of s1, it might not happen..

maybe we’ll get allusions to it though ! in either case i would love to see chuck having to learn to actually mind his manners around people who aren’t the kid, or really the other Local Heroes.. i feel like papa g and rosa would both be great for him to have those interactions/lessons (papa g has that vibe and was actually one of the first to be willing to take a chance on chuck, and rosa is 4. you met a 4 year old ? Yeah) regardless ! chuck :]

[spockandawe]

What are your favorite chinese webnovels? What are some of the differences youve noticed between cnovels and other types of novels?

That second question is really, REALLY interesting, and I really want to answer it well, and I am REALLY sure I’m going to do a bad job of answering it, so let me just noodle about that first question for a minute while I try to think XD

I went through some of my TOP-top favorite novels in more detail yesterday, but generally speaking, mxtx and meatbun are both at the top of the pack. They’re really good at writing compelling main characters and balancing piles of angst with plenty of humor and pulling everything together into a very satisfying ending (which is something I don’t alwaysssss see, even in some of the novels I really like). After them, The Disabled Tyrant’s Pet Palm Fish (transmigration, ancient chinese prince falls in love with pet fish) and Golden Stage (ancient chinese gay arranged marriage between bitter enemies(?)) are two novels that I love a lot, which both have very cute romances and go a bit lighter on the main character suffering front, and which I broadly recommend to anyone who’s interested in the genre. They didn’t end stick the landing QUITE as hard as an svsss or tgcf, but they still were very nice.

Then, let me see. I’m trying to remember which books I’ve read in the last year, and am doing a terrible job, haha. I will say that a book I enjoyed for like... eighty percent of it and then the ending let me down terribly was The Dreamer In The Spring Boudoir (modern day career woman transmigrates into barely-fantasy ancient china novel as the disliked primary wife of a nobleman), which is also the only straight webnovel I’ve read so far. The main character and romance were delightful, but that ending... haha, wow, I felt betrayed. But I did like the first half very much!! I’m idly contemplating a deliberately-partial reread. Then I’m currently like two chapters away from catching up with the current translation of The Wife Is First (ancient chinese prince lives out time travel fixit fic, determined to treat his spouse better this time around). I’m also catching up on Heroic Death System (transmigration, across MANY universes, where the goal is to die heroically in each one, and also maybeeeee to find his boyfriend in each one. this shit gets fucking bananas. in one of them, he emotionally seduces his boyfriend while he’s a dolphin. in another one, he’s a sentient mushroom. i’m in the middle of a section titled ‘I Am An Evil Pen’. yes, like a writing utensil type of pen. this is the weirdest book I’ve read so far). Oh, and Thousand Autumns (righteous sect leader gets sabotaged and loses a fight, wakes up blind and amnesiac, demonic sect leader is like ‘lol i bet i can turn him evil’ and accidentally catches feelings along the way).

What else... I’m keeping up with (but behind on) some others. First, there’s How To Survive As A Villain (modern terminally ill CEO transmigrates into stallion novel, wakes up as villain, accidentally seduces hero). Then, we’ve got Transmigrating Into The Body Of The Heartthrob’s Cannon Fodder Childhood Friend (only modern webnovel I’ve read, young man transmigrates into beginning of gratuitous whump book, back in high school, and is determined to protect the protagonist from all the canonical suffering). Then there’s Pulling Together A Villain Reformation Strategy (guy transmigrates into story as the hero’s childhood friend who will eventually become his enemy and get killed, successfully acts out his part and dies, completely fails to realize he’s broken his friend’s heart in the process... and then wakes up in another character’s body). And then there’s The Villain’s White Lotus Halo (a transmigrator keeps bouncing from universe to universe as a cannon fodder villain, who gets like half a line before being killed. he tries to purchase an upgrade package so he can be a COOL villain instead, but accidentally gets sold a ‘white lotus halo’ package instead, so that no matter what he does, everyone is just DEEPLY moved by his appearance and is positive he did nothing wrong). All of those are EXTREMELY delightful. You may notice a running transmigration theme, which....... yeah, I think there are a TON of delightful stories in the webnovel scene that deal with this genre, which seem so rare in English language media.

Which makes a good transition point to what’s different about the cnovel scene! I’ve seen hardly any transmigration stories in English, and I’ve got a couple go-to examples for when I’m trying to explain it, but like. Only a couple. Which is such a shame! Like, there’s the default idea of ‘I was reading this book and then I woke up inside the book!!’ but it’s clearly such an established genre that people are playing with it in all kinds of interesting ways, like in The Villain’s White Lotus Halo or Heroic Death System setups. It’s kind of wild to me, because it seems like such a gimme for a nice easy story structure? Whatever kind of world you want to present, there’s no need to introduce it to the reader from the ground up, or find a good way to hook them in. Either the main character read the book in question and can explain the premise and why we should care in pov, or the main character is new to the universe too, and trying to find their own footing. I enjoy it a lot! I’ve sampled transmigration books that didn’t grab me, but I’ve sampled way more that did. 

And then, the one semi-technical answer I thought of to this question was the way that these novels tend to handle pov. It’s not a hard-and-fast rule that regular novels are restricted to one pov, or that pov can only change at hard breaks in the story, but if I saw a bog-standard american novel glide from pov to pov the way these novels regularly do, I would tend to wonder if it was sloppiness or a mistake, or I would grump to myself about how I don’t like omniscient third person pov. And I still don’t know exactly what I think about this, or why it’s different in here, but I’m pretty sure I like it a lot, especially for stories where the romance tends to play a large part :V 

I used to read a lot of Books About Writing, and read plenty of stuff about why you don’t DO this, but.... I like it! In dtppf, Jing-wang can’t talk, and when Li Yu is a fish, he can’t talk, and drifting from one of their perspectives to the other gives me lots of useful information about how they’re both feeling. Could that be conveyed through restricted pov? Maybe! But I’m typesetting the svsss extras right now, and I’m in the bing-ge vs bing-mei section, and we get a few brief flashes of bing-ge’s thoughts, and it’s so NICE. It’s information I would not have otherwise received, because Shen Qingqiu sure wasn’t going to notice it. But early in the story, that pov was withheld from me, which also made sense (or hua cheng’s pov was withheld from me FOREVER, which makes me so sad ;u;). There don’t seem to be any hard and fast rules, which makes me really nervous about writing fic and trying to match the style, but I do like it a lot! 

And I’m definitely not able to articulate this in the way that I would like to, or speak with any real authority (I’m not that widely read in the cnovel scene, and i’m not very genre-adventurous in english), but there’s something about the role that the romances play in these stories that’s different from what I’m used to expecting, and it’s VERY tasty to me. I only rarely read romance novels, because I’m not often interested in the romance as a primary plot driver, but the romances in these books play a more substantial role than I’m used to expecting. And I’m into it! It’s a balance closer to what I’d expect from, like, a shippy longform fanfic. Which covers a lot of ground and is NOT a precise measure, but there’s more emotional weight given to the romance than I would expect, but without the romance carrying ALL of the emotional weight, and it strikes a perfect balance for me in a way I’m not used to encountering. Now, some of this could definitely be due to me not finding the right authors, or right subgenres, or whatever. But in the genres I inhabit, it’s a subtle difference, but one I find compelling.

Oh, one last thing. The cultural differences, duh :P I’m only familiar with things like, say, ancient chinese court etiquette through a lens of fan-translated novels like these, and I didn’t grow up steeped in the culture in a way I’m used to the trappings of something like medieval european courts. But there’s a distinct flavor to the social dynamics of these novels, from the formal levels down to the casual, and I know it’s super intricate and detailed and that authors play with differing degrees of historical accuracy vs fictional fun, and I wish I was better equipped to speak to the nature of any of this. But I find it really compelling! I recognize that it’s only new to ME because I didn’t seek out chinese media before now. And, the point that I originally wanted to get to before I got super distracted: the flirting. The flirting and teasing are a very different flavor from what I would expect in most english language media, and I love it, even if I can’t speak to how much of that is purely cultural, and how much of it is like... the conventions of How Fiction Is Written varying by culture, if that makes sense. I adore seeing what flirting and affection and indulgence and attentiveness look like in different settings, and these books, with their heavy romantic focus, absolutely deliver.

[sarah-writes-marvel]

Oxygen: Avengers x gn! reader

S.S.: Heya... its been a while. This is another fic kinda based on personal life stuff but I hope you like it still! 

--Little back story, Ive got a congenital heart defect and if I push my self too far this is kind of what happens. :)

Warnings: mentions bruises and cuts, difficulty breathing, other than that its just fluff!

Word count:1,589

Y/F/M: your favorite movie

MASTERLIST ============================

“Alright! Good job team. Another success.” Tony celebrated walking through the helipad entrance of the compound.

“We still took a heavy hit out there tho.” Clint argued massaging his newly wrapped wrist.

“But we’re still alive,” Tony said turning and walking backwards, “I’d say that kinda evens out the bad.”

Clint rolled his eyes at Tony’s slightly faulty logic before the team entered into the common area of the building. Tony immediately took a seat at the bar pouring a drink while everyone else just stood for a minute.

“Well, I don't know about you guys but I'm tired and in dire need of a shower.” you broke the silence, catching their attention.

“I second that,” Nat agreed. “And then maybe some pizza and a movie.”

Various words of approval echoed in the common room.

“Man, I was thinking about throwing a banger of a party!” Tony whined, with a sly smirk, which was returned with cold stares from each of the members. “Jeez, I was kidding.” he mumbled into his glass.

“I’m gonna go shower. I suggest you boys do the same. It's starting to smell.” Nat teased as she made her way to the elevator. Protests and grumbles came from the men standing there.

“She’s not wrong.” you whispered under your breath as you followed her into the elevator.

“I heard that!” Steve yelled out as Clint threw a throw pillow (how ironic) towards the elevator door, hitting the metal before it reached you and Nat.

After a fit of giggling at the attempt, you both leaned against the walls of the elevator, opposite sides of each other, trying your best to filter out the images of the mission running through our heads. 

“Hey, you alright?” her voice attracted your attention as you peaked open your closed eyes.

“Ya, I’m ok. I know that missions don't always end how we want but there's not much we can do.” you sent her a reassuring smile.

“I’m glad you realize that but I was asking more about how you're feeling. Your lips have a very subtle purple hue to them and you're just kinda pale.”

“Oh. I mean I don't feel completely awful. My chest kinda hurts but it's kind of a normal thing for me I guess. Maybe a little out of breath. And a headache.” as you continued to list off my symptoms it seemed more apparent, like the sudden lightheadedness, and the constricting feeling of taking in a breath.

“Do you need to go to the med bay?” She asked on full alert.

“No Nat. I'll be fine. It kinda comes with heart issues. I just need to rest.”

“You’re sure?” she looked at you sceptically, as if you would lie to a perfectly trained assassin who can pick up on any micromovement made.

“Positive.” As soon as you seemed to calm her down from her motherly attentiveness the elevator doors opened to our floor. You quickly gave her a smile and turned to my room while she turned towards hers.

As soon as you were in the safety of your room you striped your tactical gear, doing your best to keep an even breath as it began to feel like the material was constricting your body. With one last solid tug you freed yourself from the clothing leaving you only in underwear.

The reflection in the mirror wasn’t terrible… Maybe that was an understatement. Your lips did in fact have the not so lovely purple tinge to them, your skin looked almost as white as paper besides the bruises and cuts. The burning feeling in your chest and the headache just kind of added to the pain. 

You shook off the slight shock at the reflection, turning on the shower before stripping and stepping under the steaming water, washing away the grim that had apparently become one with your skin.

Despite it being relaxing, the shower did little to help the chest pain that burned through your chest, nor the continuous feeling of not having enough air in your lungs. So as soon as you stepped out of the shower and back into the room you found the little oximeter device and placed it onto your finger waiting for a number to pop up on the small screen.

‘80% oxygen level’ Well that's not good.

“Mx., should I call for a medic to assist you?” Jarvis’ voice echoed through the room causing the number representing your heart rate to spike.

“Uh- no, no it's alright Jarvis. I’m fine, thank you.” you reassured the A.I., pulling the device from your finger.

“Very well.” 

You pulled on an oversized shirt that just happened to have landed into your laundry one day and a pair of thin comfortable pants before moving to your closet.

“Man, I’m gonna regret this.” you opened the door revealing the several oxygen tanks hiding under the clothes that hung in your closet. They were there only for emergencies and no one else knew about them except Bruce, who you had sworn to secrecy which he thoroughly disagreed with.

You chose one of the half sized tanks and the shoulder bag that carried it, slinging it onto your back and adjusting the fit. You carefully wrapped the plastic cannula over your ears before taking the plastic wrench piece and opening the flow of the tank settling at a fairly quick air flow. Almost immediately you began to feel the benefits of the small amount of oxygen entering your lungs, breathing a sigh of relief.

You quickly slipped on your slippers before returning downstiar which you figured everyone had returned too by now. You followed the sound of voices and wrappers crinkling in the kitchen, walking into the group there intimately discussing the best type of popcorn. But as soon as Tony caught sight of you standing in the doorway the conversation halted.

“What's with the getup?” he motioned to you.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t know whose shirt it was, it was just in my clean laundry a few days ago.” you said, avoiding the obvious object in question. You looked up to see Nat giving me a pointed look and a deadpan from Tony.

“I meant the tube, and the backpack.”

“It's my new jetpack. You like it?” you smirked childishly at him as he rolled his eyes.

“Y/N. What's with the pack?” Steve commanded, obviously over the jokes.

“Sorry. I just needed a hit of oxygen. Nothing to get your undies in a twist.” you replied quietly. “What movie are we watching?” you asked, grabbing a slice of pizza from one of the various boxes that sat on the counter.

“Why do you need oxygen? Are you ill? Do you need new lungs?” Thor questioned passing over your previous one.

“Do you need your vitals checked?” Bruce suggested.

“How about we just take you to medical and have them look over you quick.” Clint suggested before stuffing the last of his pizza crust into his face.

“Stop!” you demanded, quieting the group. “I’m just fine. I checked my own vitals. I don't need new lungs and I'm not ill. I don't need medical treatment. What I need is just a relaxing night.” you stated.

“Are you sure? It wouldn't be a bad idea to-” Steve started before you cut him off.

“I'm sure. I’ve lived with this my whole life. I know what I need to do. Obviously if the out of breath feeling and the dizziness are constant then yes I’ll let one of you know that I need medical attention. Until then I just need some oxygen and RnR. Can we do that please?” 

“Fine, for now. But if you still feel crappy after the movie you're going down to medical. No questions.” Tony compromised.

“Alright. I'll try not to faint on you guys until then.” you smiled, which immediately faded when no one laughed. “Im kidding.”

“Well, Miss Comedian, what movie are we watching?” Nat asked as she poured herself a glass of water.

“Y/F/M?” you offered, getting nods and sounds of approval. Steve's eyebrows crinked in confusion.

“What's that?”

“You’ll love it, capsicle. Covers everything from the last thousand years.” Tony smirked, grabbing a box of pizza and leaving the kitchen.

Steve glanced at you before looking at everyone else who just smiled and followed Tony. Eventually he got up and walked over to you.

“Hop on.” he said, crouching in front of you. So of course you followed orders, adjusting the tank on your back before climbing onto his.

“Man if I get service like this I should wear my oxygen tanks outside of my room more often.” you smile as he carries me to the living room.

“Wait? You’ve felt the need to wear oxygen before and you didn’t tell us?” his grip under my legs tightened a little.

“Oh wow, they already got the movie set up!” you said, trying to wiggle from his grasp.

“Y/N.”

“Yes, I have just because I know that this would've been the reaction. Im sorry. Next time I feel like this I’ll let you know.”

“Good.” with that he let you down, sitting next to you on the couch once youve settled down. You carefully maneuvered yourself so that your head laid in Steve's lap while your legs were across Thor while the movie played.

It was nice to be worried about every once in a while despite the overbearing motherly attitudes of most of the male teammates, but what can you do?

========================

S.S: Hope you liked it! Again I realize its kind of a case sensitive fic but I havent seen alot of fics with physically disabled characters. Thanks for reading!!

[jade-of-mourning]

theformat wrote, "im floating with the birds im talking to the weeds look what youve done to me"

in which i spontaneously take several hours to translate nate’s awfully punctuated commentary on dog problems into Comprehensive English Words. partially so i can write my stupid essay on it for fun. but yes here you go, 4.2k words from a 2006 livejournal archive that i managed to snatch out of two saves. here’s a link if you want to read it from the source, but i’ll have you know it’s a nightmare. early 2000′s nate ruess learn how to type properly challenge.

theformat wrote,

[@ 2006-5-18 18:44:00]

"im floating with the birds im talking to the weeds look what youve done to me"

Hi,

Sitting on my couch, watching ESPN. Damn, it’s good to be home. Things have been pretty crazy the last 6 months. As a lot of you know, we were dropped by our label — we went and recorded a new record, labels became interested, [and] we decided to release it ourselves. We went on tour, and now I’m [...] home for the next week: my first week off in six months. What do I do? 

Well, my roommate and I got memberships to the YMCA down the street from our house. It’s an amazing place. Downtown Phoenix is pretty much an amazing place. It’s not like the rest of the state — speaking of which, I’m declaring war on Scottsdale, it’s the opposite of Downtown Phoenix.

Anyways, so I wake up at 9am every morning. I don’t know what it is, really — I’ve been a "pro" musician for about 3 years now, [and] we are supposed to wake up at 11 or 12. I know some dudes that wake up at 1, but no; since I’ve been home the last few days, I’ve been going to bed at 1 and waking up at 9. My roommate has a job, [so] I think it has to do with that. 

See, there are 3 showers total in our house. I have the big bedroom, so I have the big shower, [and] since I’ve been off on tour and recording, he has gotten used to the nice shower in my room (Which is fine — anyone that’s gotten close to me knows I’m not too fond of showers, so it’s not like I use it that much). So every morning around 8:45, I wake up to my door opening and my roommate going through my room to use the shower. 

You know what it’s like when you’re half asleep but you want to act like you’re awake so as not to freak someone out with all the crazy babble, but you just end up saying all the same crazy babble? I do that every morning. I turn and look at him and try to act like I wasn’t just dreaming about tootsie rolls and parrots that shatter like glass. "Hey [Roommate's Name], that was some game last night" [is what usually] comes out of my mouth — something to that extent — and I think he feels sorry for me, but continues to walk right into my bathroom, and use the shower. 

At this point, I’m awake. I usually have to pee, and I have to then use his restroom. It’s a terrible swap, and it always ends with me wide awake on my front porch (har har) smoking a cigarette and wondering how the hell I’m gonna fall back asleep when the air conditioning is broken. Ah, what a wonderful life at home, [but] that’s the weird thing — I love it. Now we wake up and we go to the [YMCA]. We run, we play basketball, we jump in the pool, we play pool basketball, we get yelled at for dunking the ball. We don’t use soap before we go into the sauna, and the night usually ends with a poker tournament. This is the life I love to live when I’m away from the road. It too is the opposite of Scottsdale. It’s who I am, [and] it’s pretty much who I’ve become.

See, for the last 23 years, it’s been about the highs and the lows for me. I’ve got an addictive personality, [so] I stay away from a lot of things because of this; however, when I find things, I get generally excited. I go crazy. It’s all I think about and all I do for the next howeverlong. For the first 23 years, it was either talking non-stop or locking myself in my room. It’s either great or terrible; not good or bad. Dog Problems changed that.

Initially, Dog Problems was supposed to be that — the original concept of Dog Problems was to be 2 sides of music, the first half taking over where Interventions [+ Lullabies] had left off: "We'll be together in the morning…"

We weren’t, in fact. We were over before Interventions was even released. We were over two weeks after it was recorded, [and] I spent the next 2 years feeling terrible. We got back together… we broke up… we got dogs… we broke up… we got back together and got dogs…

I was still miserable, but I wanted Dog Problems to get me through everything. I wanted it to help me, not anyone else — just me. The first side was supposed to be me down in the dumps [and] everything that went down: how the two of us were dealing with it differently, [and] the second half was supposed to be a realization.

The first inkling of realization was a day [when] we were on tour. We were all laughing about something I’m sure Marko or Adam said. Here I was supposed to be depressed, but the fact that I can spend all of my days in different states with my best friends, all of us doing what we love — that was major! Then my mom called… I’ve got my parents! My friends! What else could I possibly need?

At that point, I felt as if a relationship in a Michael Bolton sort of way didn’t mean anything. It was the people you surrounded yourself with — those were the people that made the difference, and that was going to be side two. I was convinced that when I just closed my eyes and thought about the wonderful people around me, I was going to be great. Not good, [but] great.

I didn’t get that far, no. I got back into the relationship. 

I was sure it was going to work. At that point, life would be perfect, and we all want perfection right? [But] things went right back to far from perfect. Things went to terrible. I couldn’t stop feeling sorry for myself, but I had a concept. At that point, I figured that even by singing and recording these positive songs I was going to feel better, so Sam showed me what was then just a short acoustic guitar version of Snails.

This was it. This was my first chance to prove to myself that life can be beautiful. The thing is, I had never been more miserable. I remember writing the lyrics to Snails: my roommate was at work, I was on the bed, on my night stand was a giant bottle of booze, and somewhere off in California she wasn’t calling me back on a Friday night. So I went to work, listened [to it] over and over. I wanted to get it right; I wanted to be positive. I passed out, then I woke up the next morning [with a] big headache (P.S. drinking is not really that cool; it’s cool when you condemn it for the first 22 years of your life, then it becomes not cool, then it becomes ok when you moderate yourself) and I started writing everything positive I could think of. [...] Snails was, in Sam’s mind, supposed to be a 2 minute kid’s song, [but] I wrote so much that there was no going back. I thought that was it — Snails solved all of my problems.

It didn’t get that far either. Nothing could shake the depression, [and] I really started to worry about myself. Here I want to feel great, but I only feel terrible, [and] a few months later it got really really bad. I had to go to my parents house that night, I didn’t want to be at my house. I wanted to feel like a kid.

It’s funny how we always want to be adults when we're younger. We want to drive cars, we want to have girlfriends. I still didn’t consider myself an adult — all I wanted was to come home, be tucked in, know that everything was going to be alright. I woke up the next day [and found out] she met someone new. I’ve got to figure myself out…

In the meantime, we've got 4 songs we are recording over at our friend Aaron’s house (he is an amazing producer and [...] musician, and his house and his roommates have gotten me through a lot of tough times. They’re some of the only people I know who would rather spend their Saturdays getting dinner and watching a movie instead of going to a party. I like that). All of this turmoil in my relationship was going on at the time, and I was trying to write side two [but] I couldn’t. There was more fuel to side one. These songs have to be done, so I wrote about what I knew, and at that point I knew how to feel terrible.

So much for side two. Dog Problems is going to be one giant mess of depression and "look what you’ve done to me".

Atlantic got those four songs, as well as a few others. They were not psyched, to say the least, but some people at the label actually cared about it enough to say "go record". So we were able to pick our producer, we met with a few people, talked to a few more. Things were looking up. Dog Problems was going to happen. 

I remember meeting Steve McDonald at his house — Sam and I were excited to be [there] because we knew his wife Anna would probably be there. Anna was the lead singer/songwriter for a band we used to obsess about called "That Dog", her brother was one of the ten drummers in the world that I actually liked, so Steve couldn't be so bad. And he wanted to produce our record, so he had to be pretty cool! 

He was just that, and more. Sam and I were eating every word that came out of his mouth. He had stories; he was young, hip, energetic, and yet very all knowing. We saw someone that was going to let us do whatever we wanted to do, and in the meantime he was going to make us laugh and make sure we didn't lose our minds. From that point on, I knew there was someone I could always trust. I made a friend pretty quick.

Things were moving forward. Steve McDonald was to be the producer. I hated Los Angeles so there was no way in hell I was going to record there, [so] we decided Palm Springs would be perfect. Weird, but perfect. I had a phone conversation with Steve that night and we were finalizing everything. I was going to call Atlantic in the morning and let them know just how everything was going to work, [but] I didn't get that far.

I was sleeping in a blowup bed at the house when my phone rang. I didn’t wake up and answer like it was my roommate and he was coming into my room to use my shower, [because] this call felt different. Right away, I was awake.

It was our manager: "You’ve been dropped." 

When I heard that, the first thought going through my mind wasn’t "Oh man...how are we going to be famous now and make boat loads of money?" It was more like "fuck...but Dog Problems. We were supposed to go make Dog Problems."

The thing is, Atlantic wasn’t into Dog Problems. They were into whatever it was they thought we were. Never had The First Single made more sense — what was supposed to be a song about getting the band started and doing something with it had actually turned into a song about how stuck we were in the labels eyes because of the song. I was past that; we're proud of something we wrote when we were 19 and 20, but when I think of music, I think of progression. 

I think of all of the wonderful records I had been introduced to when I had nothing to do riding in a van. I think of all of the new influences, all the instruments, all of the "How did they do that?" And I think of how much it gets me through everything.

Music has been the consecutive[ly] great[est] thing in my life. It’s been that one thing, and with Dog Problems, it wasn’t about "I want everyone to sing along because I can write a catchy song." It was about feeling. It was paying tribute to all of the bands that we obsessively listened to. It was for Harry Nilsson and Van Dyke Parks, it was for Jellyfish and XTC. It was our way of saying thanks for making our lives better, whether it be lyrically or musically. It was never about being something, being told something, and sticking to something. It was an adventure, for the artist and for the listener.

[And] they didn't get that. They wanted the old record, the old songs, just with different words and a few different chords here and there. They didn’t care about Snails or Dog problems [or] what it meant to write those songs. They knew it wasn't going to be huge; the guitars were not big enough (if big guitars are your thing that’s fine, it’s just not really our thing right now); it wasn’t going to be competitive, and so they dropped us. And rightfully so: we weren’t going to change, and obviously the major label business is never going to change, [so] now it comes down to who goes down first. And we weren’t ready to go down.

Sam and I had conversations about it, whether the business end of things have been fucking with us so much that we'll never be sane enough to just enjoy it. We thought about getting out — it wasn’t [be]cause we hated each other, or the songs; it was because we hated the business.

Steve called to let us know that he was still onboard, label or not, [and] we let him know we were still on board. We were going to make this record, [and] I was going to feel great! But the record was going to cost something. How could we afford it? 

We were lucky that we had a management company like Nettwerk. Not only are they the most forward-thinking music business people around, [but] they’re also (for the most part) Canadian. Oh, and they care a shit load about the music we make. They could have waited for the ship to sink, but they told us they would pay for the record if need be. Fortunately, we were able to get money for getting dropped — Atlantic actually paid us to leave, so we could afford the recording ourselves. The only stipulation was that it had to be done quicker, and when you want something quick, you have to go to the "right here, right now" capitol of the world: Los Angeles. I was a little irked at the thought at first, then Steve said it was his personal goal to make LA a wonderful city for me. Like I said, I would jump off a cliff if Steve said it was the best way to get coffee, but I wasn’t jumping off of cliffs. I was too excited to make Dog Problems, [so] LA it was.

Sam and I moved to the "Silver Palace" in Silverlake California in the middle of December. We found an amazing studio in Burbank, California and an amazing engineer in Ken Sluiter, and our goal was to just do everything free from a record label and someone constantly messing up the recording process by saying things like "that’s not high octave enough". The only pressure we had at all was from our manager saying "You have a tour you accepted in March, [so] get it done by then.” Other than that, it was me, Sam, Steve, and Ken working 13 hours a day for 6 days a week.

It became our lives we were putting so much of ourselves into. Everyone that worked and played on the record was the same way when they were there contributing. I would leave the studio at 2 in the morning and wake up at 10 to be at the studio by 11. There was no free time — the four of us were so invested in this. We all bought into the concept. 

In the meantime, things outside of the studio were getting interesting. We had a lot of labels calling and constantly asking about it. During one week of recording, I remember at least 3 different label people coming down to the studio. Our minds weren’t made up as to what we were doing with the record once it was recorded — all we wanted to do was finish it — but we kept our options open and let people sit in the big chair and listen to what we had been working on. The response was overwhelmingly positive, but we didn’t really think about it too much beyond the compliments we were receiving. Sam and I got used to LA — I was 10 minutes away from where I had been the previous summer when I was back "on" in my “on and off" relationship. I was ten minutes from her, she was calling every day, I was singing about it… but how was it not getting to me? Why did I not care?

My phone was off. I woke up in Silverlake one morning and started wondering why for the last month I had a smile on my face. Sure, I was down at times, but the thing that had been bringing me down for 3 years was now the last thing on my mind. Apparently, it had been that way for awhile. Something that took 3 years to get over… I was finally just okay with it. No big realization — just the fact that things happen. People make mistakes. And I came out of it alright. I was good; not great… I was good, and that felt good.

I wasn’t looking for great anymore. I was okay. The last song on Dog Problems is all about that. Here, this record was supposed to be the downs, and the ups, and it ended with the middle: the realization that I don’t need to be talking; I don’t need to be locked in my room — I need to enjoy what’s going on around me. And if things go wrong, they go wrong. There’s always tomorrow.

Dog Problems means so much to me in so many different ways. I’ve never been more proud of anything in my life. I cried so many times during the making of the record. All the money I had spent on therapy, and all I had to do was go make a record, realize that I’m alright, and realize that I made something that I’ll forever be proud of.

Shit… the record was supposed to be about how California can change you for the worse, [but] it played a huge part in doing the opposite!

So as we were putting the finishing touches on the record (all our friends came in and recorded! A ton of people we admired came and worked on the record! All of their responses were so positive that it's hard not to get an ego about it. These are the people I worship. They’re the ones I wanted to pay tribute to, and they think we've made something unique and special. It’s like Michael Jordan telling you that you have a nice jump shot (no more sports references… I swear I’m done)) and we started to think about what we were going to do with it. How we were going to release it. Labels were getting pretty into it, and we knew we would have to make a decision soon.

After much debate and discussion, we decided that the record was something we had made completely on our own, so why not release it completely on our own? Nettwerk was going to take care of the distribution so it would have a major label distro. It would be inside all of the Best Buys; what more did we want? We didn’t want a big fat check — we did that last time. It made us miserable, and nothing came out of it. Barely anyone at the labels helped us, we weren’t making music videos, our songs weren’t on the radio, so why would we take their criticism? After all, everything that we’ve done — any success we’ve had is from being real people who make music. From showing up to play, from 3 years on the road. 

On Interventions [+ Lullabies], there might have been an Elektra logo on the back of the record, but it ended right there. We were the ones SHOWING people who we were. I wouldn’t have it any other way — no one knows us better than ourselves, so why not release it ourselves? To me, it’s not only a testament to the hard work we put into the band (Mike, Don, Marko, Toco, everyone else involved in putting these songs to life — you guys are the best thing we have. It’s pretty special when your best friends are some of the most talented musicians), but I really feel like the people who come to our shows are such good people that they don’t give a fuck what label it’s on.

They are there because we are doing something positive, and because we care about them as much as they care about us. So for the time being we've said "fuck the middleman": we're the only people we can blame at this point. I’m so tired of even talking about major labels and the split and everything like this. The music is the only thing I care about. Dog Problems is the only thing I care about, so why let someone else ruin it?

The Vanity Label was born.

The record got finished. We had no time to rehearse, and we had to go right back out to tour. Our first show before the Motion City Soundtrack tour was in Nashville — I remember the last time we were in Nashville, there were about ten kids. Reuben’s accomplice kept asking them why they hate whales, so we figured why not go there and get some of the rust out of the way. After all, we haven't toured in a year so there should be like 3 kids there; we can mess up if need be.

Unfortunately, we were not allowed to mess up. On a Sunday night in Nashville, with Ted Leo playing across the street (I <3 Ted), our first headlining show outside of Arizona in almost a year was over sold out. What the fuck happened? 

We thought we were going to have to play for another 3 years just to get back to where we were when we left, and yet it’s sold out on a Sunday night? It didn’t end there either — the whole tour went like that… night after night ("nite after nite?"). I couldn't believe it. As if having Dog Problems wasn’t enough, now we have people showing their support in the most positive way: coming to the shows, being there from the only thing they knew before. Those two months were such good months. It was the last thing I expected. Thanks so much to all the bands that played with us, and thanks so much for everyone that came to the shows and sang along. We'll be back in July.

In the meantime, things were going great on the Vanity Label front. Business actually felt natural. We are shooting a video with the directors we had always dreamed of doing a video with (it won’t be serious...no pouty face). There were magazines like AP and online magazines like AP taking notice, supporting the whole idea and concept. We actually took press photos. I’ve never been through any of this before, it’s exciting. I don’t think it’s going to change who we are, not one bit, but it’s still exciting to see people who can help out actually help out.

So where does that leave me now? Sitting on my bed. I’ve rambled for hours, the air still doesn't work, and I’ve been told that Dog Problems (something that isn't supposed to come out till July) has been leaked. Not the best news when you just got out of the pool, but it happens. I freaked out at first — I thought I was going to lock myself in my room. After all, this is something that we spent over two years making. It’s something that you have to take the time… listen to in headphones… play loud… listen to in order of the tracks… the artwork… Sam did the best artwork he has ever done. The packaging is something we paid extra for because Sam’s concept was so brilliant, and now… it’s leaked on the internet? I was locking my door, then our manager called.

"Hello?" 

"We're releasing it on the website today." 

"Wow."

So, here goes. You’ve read enough. I shouldn’t have to go on about it anymore, but I will say, if you wanna wait for the full hard copy release then do so. It’s July 11 — we are gonna be touring right after that — but if you want to get it now,.please do it by purchasing it right here. We released it, it’s our money, it’s our little baby — you should take the time to listen to it all the way through, free of distraction. You should turn the songs into your own. It’s an adventure, and it’s something that we put everything we have into; and if anyone deserves it first, it’s you guys who have been here with us all along.

Without further ado...

"Dog Problems"

- Nate

[ikusayu-no-hana]

kahakugeki thoughts dump part 2

kokin says he cant bring himself to even think of hurting jizou, and kasen points out that that itself is kindness. kokin says he feels that it is naivete rather than kindness, and kasen disagrees, saying the kindness he has known is different. and it IS different, because to not hurt someone you treasure is a form of love kasen has never seen.

gracia pretty much calls kasen "the devil" thats going to decide her fate...yknow who else she calls an oni? her husband. fitting, really.

of course kasen cant kill the person his former master loved. ever since he decided that he has to be the one to do the deed, both as a sword of tadaoki and the team leader, he'd been wavering so much. because a part of him loves gracia as well.

and when he finally does, he's nearly half crying as jizou sobs in the corner. thats his breaking point: he cant rationalize or understand what he's feeling, so he does the only thing he knows. he slashes his left arm, self harming himself, saying that he's still "far away from being elegant". those two things are all kasen has: violence and elegance. he clings onto those.

shishiou's nue analogy really struck me. around the start of the play he says humans' hearts are like a nue, made up of so many different emotions. by the end though, after killing the christian daimyos, he says that the hearts they (touken danshi) were given were like nues as well. because even though the humans they killed werent "human" per se, they still had that desperate need to live, which is what caused this history alteration in the first place, and killing them was the same as killing innocent humans for the sn of simply wanting to live. so ofcourse they all feel a little uneasy in their hearts.

also i love how he assured the head daimyo (forgot his name sry) that surely a god exists, since he had heard his jicchan say so. it was a small but a very human thing.

chougis arc in this was mainly reconnaissance and killing kuroda yoshitaka, but im glad we were able to see a side to him that wasnt centred around manba. altho him kokin n jizou were all government swords, its jarring to see how differently they respond to situations. kokin and jizou very decidedly display human emotion, while chougi is willing to do lit anything to accomplish the mission, even killing jizou if necessary.

(ik the time loop is a big part of this sute but im not going there, for simplicity's sake. just gonna focus on characters)

to wrap it up, this sute was chock full of (mainly) kasen angst. im just..incredibly mind blown at how much of a heavy storyline was written out for this, how carefully and meticulously it was written with indirect reference to past sutes. i think this story was inevitable too, because kasen's kiwame has gracia's family crest (kikkyou) in place of the usual peony, but that is never elaborated anywhere in the game. the fact that sute took that up is something im really really thankful for, and they went above and beyond in doing justice to each character in it.

did i mention kasen and nikkari and kotegiri and jizou cry during curtain call? i definitely couldnt hold my tears back at that time,,,,they all really love tkrb and sute, you could see it in their eyes and hear it in their voices, and i instantly died. hahhaa.

if youve read this far congrats have a lil cookie 🍪 <3

[thereindeerlady]

I've got modern day college au Zukka Headcannons that NONE of you asked for but here you go!

Everybody seems to agree that Sokka would be an Engineer major but y'all, Sokka isnt just an engineer guy. Hes a true Jack of All Trades who would most definitely be a double major kid. I think he'd have Engineering as one major and maybe a minor in special effects. I mean how many times did he help create special effects to trick other people into thinking somebody was bending fire or earth or whatever? At least 2. And thats enough for me 😂 Genuinely, Sokka would be that Engineering/Special Effects kid with a 2nd minor in like software design. I dunno. Hes too smart for his own good.

Zuko however; everybody says he would be an english major. And I mean i see it i guess? But nah. This boy would definitely have a major in Business/Law something or other, and i feel like he would have a minor or second major in communications.

Zuko would most definitely teach martial arts classes to kids on weekends. This is not up for debate.

Sokka is the kind of guy who everybody would know. Whether his campus is big or small, everybody has had an interaction with Sokka. Its almost like he can sense when somebody close by is too stressed or emotional bc he gravitates towards them and cheers them up.

Sokka has been known to randomly show up at your dorm door in a onesie and a basket of cookies if he notices youve been spending too much time in the library.

However nobody has ever seen him set foot in the library on a weekday so no one is really sure HOW he knows.

I dont make the rules but Zuko was most definitely a theater kid in high school. Sokka was theater tech even though hes actually a really good actor. He just enjoyed teching more.

Zuko had a private education at a high end school until his last two years of high school when he went to live with his uncle and went to a public school. He loved to read a lot and actually studied many many plays in his private school and found out he enjoyed acting in his junior and senior year.

This of course also means that Zuko can sing :)))

Sokka can too and hes good at it but nobody has ever really heard him sing bc its one of those things hes private about.

Sokka was a public school kid 100% and he was The Mother Hen™ that kids would flock to in the halls and at lunch. He was the one everyone felt comfortable talking to about anything. This also means he knew almost every closeted and out gay kid in school.

Back on the subject of private school Zuko, he was always one of those Rich, Untouchable kids with bad boy vibes. When he joined public school, everyone there realized he was just a really awkward kid who had a 6 year edgelord faze.

Did i mention the high school Zuko goes to is the same one the gaang attended?

When they all end up at the same university, Sokka and Zuko actually agree to room together bc they become really good friends in high school.

Zuko didnt come out to Sokka until they were sophomores in college to which Sokka replied, "Dont be mad but i already knew"

Sokka has been proudly out for years at that point but he still comes out again to Zuko.

Junior year, they get an apartment. They both actually take turns cooking because, as it turns out, they're both really good cooks.

Neither of them can drive very well tho 👀

In terms of nationality, i kinda see Zuko as Asian and Sokka as more of native/islander or a little bit of hispanic influence even? Definitely something with a lot of tribal heritage. Maybe Mayan and Hawaiian or smth? I dunno, I havent done enough research on that part yet.

The SIGNIFICANCE though is cooking. They both kinda share their authentic cooking and recipes and teach each other. So between them they come up with these blended culture foods

Yall i forgot the word culture for a whole 5 minutes there

Sokka being the strategist he is gets along very well with Uncle Iroh whenever he and Zuko go to visit their families. They both practically live at Iroh and Sokka's family's home. Iroh and Sokka spend a LOT of time playing Pai Sho and chess and other board games whereas Zuko has lots of fun discussing literature and whatnot with Sokkas fam

About that: Zuko is the cuddliest little shit. He and Sokka have been cuddling and constantly physically affectionate for almost as long as theyve known each other.

Junior year of college is actually when they go on their first date. Sokka is of course naturally flirty so when Zuko finally notices (or is told) that Sokka doesnt flirt with anyone the way he does with Zuko, the wonderful conversation goes as:

"Wait are you flirting with me? For real?"

"Have been for 4 and a half years but thanks for noticing"

Sokka genuinely has liked this cute intelligent dumbass for 4 and a half years. Zuko almost cries when Sokka tells him that

Thats when Zuko finally tells him the whole story of why he's living with his uncle.

Zuko was so touch starved and so used to not being loved and chosen first that Sokka's constant unconditional love just overwhelmed him.

This has been Zukka College Au headcanons with Lydia, thank you for coming to my tedtalk