#the piping was the part that had me fucked up so many things went wrong

[effervescent-fool]

i had like 3 full-blown meltdowns making those boy do I hate baking

[tianasficrecs168]

Venom fanfic recs

A black dot • means it's a one-shot

A heart ♡ means it's focused on Sexy times (it's pure filth PWP, or like, a plot focused on getting to the porn part lol)

Wildehack: “Intra-personal negotiation” (Eddie/Venom) • How fucked is that, that a compromise that ended with eating raw shark liver under the Golden Gate Bridge in the dead of night is probably the most interpersonally mature he’s ever been? Intra-personally, Venom corrects, not really paying attention.

Arahir: “Wrapped around your finger” (Eddie/Venom) • Venom goes about love in every wrong way he knows how. Thank god for late night television. “Me. They invited me for dinner,” Eddie insists, trying again to make his hair look some specific way in the mirror. He’s given up and started over three times. It’s a double date. Like on that show. “What—what are you watching that there are double dates? Jesus. I should cancel cable. Make you read a book instead.” No!

Impertinence: “Something Like A Pipe Bomb” (Venom/Eddie) Eddie already had enough problems, what with being a busy reporter with an alien parasite, when he caught one of his neighbors holding a fridge above her head. Now he has twice as many problems, including a kid who won't stop treating him like the big brother she never had and a moody alien parasite. Or: you can totally secretly pine while sharing a brain with someone else, as Venom and Eddie are both determined to prove.

Pepperfield: “That blessed arrangement” (Venom/Eddie) • That’s us, Eddie, Venom says suddenly, with a bizarre amount of intensity. We’re like these two fools. Eddie squints at the screen for a second before he understands. “What, married?” Venom is well aware that they live in a romantic comedy. Eddie isn’t, but he’ll get the picture eventually.

Dezemberzarin: “The no dating policy” (Venom/Eddie) • a two-shot series What’s the point? Eddie glances around to the other people hurrying along the sidewalk, lowers his voice until he’s muttering into the collar of his jacket. “I like sex! I want to have sex again in the future, so you’ll have to find a way to deal with it.” If you say so.

xzombiexkittenx: “Nice to Taste” (Venom/Eddie) • Eddie doesn’t do well when he thinks the symbiote died in the fire. He doesn’t tell Dan that suicide is the reason he’s in this mess in the first place. He didn’t go to the Golden Gate Bridge to throw Anne’s engagement ring into the water, he went there to throw himself but got distracted by Dr. Skirth’s messages and justice against Drake instead.

Tuesday: “Terms of Endearment” (Venom/Eddie) • In which there are accidental pet names, Eddie leaning into being in love with an alien symbiote, and an ill-advised kidnapping. — The first time Eddie called Venom dear, it was automatic. They were shopping, and Eddie bypassed the freezer section to pick up some chocolate first. Venom said, "Don't forget the tater tots." Eddie, well-trained by more than one serious relationship in his life, said, "Yes, dear."

Ottergirl: “Heartthrob” (Venom/Eddie) ♡ • He feels encompassing when Eddie says that, he feels like there's no end to him. All that affection in Eddie's voice and the knowing, knowing he wants to be with Venom, wants to belong to Venom. Eddie calls Venom by a pet name, and Venom likes it. Maybe a little too much.

MercurialTenacity: - “Nightlife” (Venom/Eddie) ♡  • Eddie is soft when he sleeps. During the day he’s wound taut, one thing or another always running through his head and keeping tension in his muscles, but when he’s asleep - oh yes, when he’s asleep his defenses melt away. All the hard edges smooth out, his body goes all loose and pliant, and his mind mellows into the background. Venom loves when Eddie sleeps, and he does it for hours at a time. Sometimes even eight or nine. Nine whole hours, and Venom has its host’s warm body right there to explore.

Redredribbons: “Storms” (Venom/Eddie) • The Symbiote struggles to understand human habits and biorhythms. Especially Eddie's, when his own brain seems intent on sabotaging him.

Stereobone: “No Idea That You’re in Deep” (Venom/Eddie) ♡  • If the last eight months have shown Eddie anything, it's that foresight is not his strong suit.

Surveycorpsjean: - “Lovesick Baby” (Venom/Eddie) Eddie spent his whole life alone in his head. Now he’s not sure he could ever go back. Sometimes, you want things you shouldn't.

[rogue-durin-16]

HEAD-TO-HEAD (part III.½/?)

Summary: Joe thought she was pretty. Had he just said that, things might have been different for them. Maybe they wouldn't have gone head-to-head at each other for three years like it was a contest.

Pairing: Joseph Liebgott x Reader

Genre: angst splattered with fluff/rivals to lovers

Tags:

Head-to-head: @derersketnoget @ladystardustfromarss

Band Of Brothers: @fernando-jpg @chubbypotatoepie @tvserie-s-world @clumsy-wonderland @lordndsaviorwinters

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa @comfort-reads

Warnings: language (if anything lmao)

A/N: happy new year or new year's eve or whatever the fuck. Here's another part of this multipart because I just can't work with scheduled posting no matter how hard I try. Enjoy this teeny tiny continuation before I move this along hopefully to the RMS Samaria <3

Head-to-head masterlist

Band Of Brothers masterlist

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

The night before our first jump felt heavier than it should have. Everyone was on edge to some extent —how could they not be? When we were about to jump out of a plane—, but it was late night and most had found a way to keep their mind busy.

'Most' didn't include me.

I had checked my gear so many times I would probably be able to recite the parachute assembly manual in my sleep. My fingers twitched over the canopy, smoothing it out again even though it was already flawless. It wasn’t nerves—I told myself that. Just preparation.

That’s when I noticed Joe coming into my peripheral vision to stand beside me, his presence as casual as ever. His hand ran over my canopy like he had any business touching it.

"Didn’t think I’d live to see you overthinking something."

I swatted his hand away without looking up.

"I'm not overthinking. I’m just... making sure."

He snorted, clearly unconvinced.

"Anyone ever tell you you’re a bit of a control freak?"

"Do you always gotta get your two cents in?"

Joe smirked, completely unfazed by my glare.

"C’mon, Y/n. I’m just saying. This is what? The third time you went over it?"

Before I could answer, Skip's voice piped up from the far side of the room.

"I think she's going on five now."

I spun around to glare at him instead. "Who asked you? For fuck's sake." I mumbled the last part, returning to the useless task at hand.

"Like I said." Joe, of course, wasn't ready to drop it. "Control freak."

"Can you shut up?"

"Not really."

With a huff, I turned back to my chute, offering him nothing but feigned indifference and loud silence.

Since the near-fight we had seen ourselves involved in a couple of weeks prior, I hadn't been able to stop thinking about Malarkey's words —'what's gonna happen when we're out there? We're supposed to be a team.'—. He wasn't wrong, and neither was Toye. We would get someone killed.

Liebgott and I had, undoubtedly, become an issue to the company's efficiency, and that was a luxury we couldn't afford in war. Basic training? Barely, but getting into spats for every stupid thing and pushing each other to our limits for the hell of it wouldn't cut it once we had to get the job done.

So, instead of snapping as easy as breathing just to have the last word, I had been making use of the silent treatment when I felt the arguments firing up between the two of us.

Needless to say, he wasn't exactly a fan of me not pushing back immediately.

"What, you mad at me now?"

"Shocking, isn't it?" I didn’t even bother sparing him a look.

"Okay, listen." He shifted closer, leaning slightly against the table with his head turned in my direction. "It’s gonna deploy alright. Your biggest problem's probably gonna be the landing."

I halted my motions when he finally managed to catch my notice. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Joe shrugged. "You just suck at it."

There was a beat of silence in which I found myself gawking at the man standing by my side.

"And you suck at reassuring people."

He grinned like he was enjoying every second of this. "Oh, so you are overthinking."

"I’m not overthinking." My hands busied themselves with the gear, eyes fixed on their movements as I whispered, "I'm just afraid of heights."

Joe's snickering earned him a swift smack on his arm that made him freeze for half a second.

"Wait, you serious?" I didn't miss the way his eyes searched for the truth in mine. "Holy shit, you're serious."

"You better keep whatever comment you’re about to make to yourself," I warned with a menacing index pointing at him. "unless you want my boot up your ass."

Hesitation flashed across him for an instant, as if he was pondering how good of an idea it would be to opt for the teasing.

He observed the fairly quiet room and, without a word, he pushed himself off the table and did a half turn to face my canopy.

His fingers returned to the fabric, only that this time he actually decided to do something useful and began to carefully fold it.

"It's alright." His attention was trained on his actions instead of on me while we moved in synchronicity. "Everyone’s a little freaked out about it."

I glanced at him sideways, skeptical. "You sure look at ease."

"I am." He clicked his tongue, tilting his head to the side as a response to my observation. "Maybe tomorrow I won’t be. Maybe I’ll shit my pants in the plane, who knows."

I snorted before I could stop myself, and, when I looked up to gauge his reaction, I caught his eyes sneaking a look at me through his lashes, sporting a lopsided smirk on his parted lips.

We finished prepping my equipment in silence to everyone's surprise and, when everything was done, he pulled it away from my grasp without much complaining from me.

"You're good." There was some sort of finality in the statement that, for whatever reason, put me at ease. "Control freak and all."

"Keep running your mouth, Liebgott, and someone will have to scrape you off the drop zone tomorrow." I yanked back the gear to carry it to my bunk, throwing the last words over my shoulder as a warning, although there wasn't any real bite to them.

His steps caught up with me right when I reached my bed. "Oh, I'm terrified." He mocked, leaning on from behind just for an instant before walking past me to reach his own bunk.

I scorned, shaking my head and proceeded to tuck myself in.

Sleep found me faster than I expected and, in the morning, I couldn't help but wonder if Joe had anything to do with it.

[chubbycelebs]

The Factory of Fatties (Part 2)

Following the exciting fattening of Sam, the group proceeded down a new corridor still as dark and inconspicuous as the first one. They then reach a large round door, about 10 feet high. "This is the fruit section of my factory. I have a lot of fruity sweets and we need as many berries as we can get. And from those berries we need the juice." The round door then opened and revealed a large room filled with pipes and machinery. The pipes were filled with different coloured liquids; blue, purple, red, green, orange etc. "This is my juice concentration room." The group slowly started to walk into the room, looking around the juice filled room. "Here is where we take the juice from the juicing room and concentrate it to get the most flavour out of it possible. It makes all my fruity sweets taste so juicy." The group was looking around the room watching the juice in the pipes fly over their heads. It smelt amazing in there, so sweet and fruity. "Now boys there's some taps around the room to taste the juice so go and have a taste of these fruit juices. They really are amazing."

Henry and Charlie went off to the apple pipe and found the tap over there. They both had mouthfuls of apples juice and was blown away by the flavour. "Oh Jesus Christ this is amazing" Henry said as Wonka walked up to these two. Charlie went in for another mouthful when Wonka put a hand on his shoulder.

"I wouldn't go crazy drinking these juices my boy. They are incredibly concentrated. They can fill you up with juice in seconds and we don't want another fat boy on our hands now do we?" Wonka said patting Charlie's exposed lower belly which was already full of sweets from the last room.

Over on the other side of the room, Will and Matt were by the blueberry tap. Matt had a mouthful and was blown away by the flavour. "Will come here you got to have some of this." Will had a mouthful and couldn't believe how juicy it was. "I bet you can't drink straight from the tap for a minute straight Will" Matt said daringly to his buddy. The competitive nature of Will took over him.

"Oh yeah? Just watch and weep" and with that Will put his lips to the tap and turned it on. He was gulping the juice being filled up with the sweet blueberry juice. It was the best thing he'd ever tasted in his life. Matt was watching his friend and saw that it was approaching a minute and he was going to lose the bet. He also saw how the juice filled Will's belly and he needed to see his grow bigger so he went over to the tap and held it down. Will looked at his friend panicked now. He was slapping him to try and get him off the tap so he could breathe. Matt was just laughing at him watching his big bulky friend get bloated off blueberry juice. Will then hit Matt in the balls and Matt stumbled back and Will fell to the ground gasping for air. "What the fuck did you do that for dickhead!?"

"It's just funny innit. Plus you won the bet big boy" Matt said giving him a tap on his belly. Will didn't look happy at all and was angry at Matt for doing that but he was pleased he won the bet. However this momentary joy turned to worry when he saw Matt's face of confusion when looking at him.

"What's wrong?" Will asked, now worried.

"Your face Will... it's turning like blue..." Will's nose was a bright blue colour and this began to spread across his cheeks and forehead making its way down his chin and neck.

"What do you mean?" Will said now more panicked looking down at his body. He saw his arms and hands turn a deep blue colour now. He pulled off his hoodie and shirt and he saw that his soft belly and big pecs had also turned blue. "What have you done to me Matt?" Will now said with anger rather than panic.

Just then a rumble came from his soft belly. It even shook the fat that was already sitting on his blue gut. Will then felt a filling sensation, his stomach became so full and it wasn't stopping. He could see his belly begin to expand outwards, filling him up round pushing the waist line of his joggers down. The filling sensation then seemed to spread. He turned around and saw his ass inflate with juice, his thighs and arms following now getting bigger and bigger. His once slightly loose joggers now were skin tight across his thickening body. Will then felt his dick and balls fill up making him go hard. He became aroused by his filling body and his dick pressed hard against his tight joggers. It began to leak juice soaking his already stained trousers. His body was now filling up faster and faster. His round belly and chest growing further and further out requiring him to move his legs further apart and his arms to move to the side. His neck became engulfed into his massive double chin and his face rounded out now filling his cheeks with juice. His joggers couldn't contain his fat lower body and they split apart into shreds on the floor. His thin underwear left nothing to the imagination as they were soaked by his leaking arse and dick. He was getting so big and round now that his groin hit the floor making the blueberry boy moan loudly. He kept filling further and further upwards now. Already round he just grew bigger and bigger wobbling back and fourth. His large balls filled with so much juice and his pulsating dick oozing so much juice. He was about 10 foot tall by the time he stopped growing. He was so round and big and filled with juice. With one more pulse of juice his boxers ripped apart and his dick hit the floor causing him to moan once again.

Matt was stood speechless. He looked up at his huge friend and couldn't believe it. Matt was so horny right now, his own dick pulsating and leaking his own liquid. He was so excited seeing his friend get so big. Matt took off his top and went up to his friend and felt his round belly. It was slightly soft meaning he was perfectly ripe. He pressed his body against his belly feeling the juicy skin against his own. "What are you doin?" Will mumbled above him confused by his friends actions. Matt didn't reply straight away instead looking over at Wills big soaking wet cock. Matt put his hands on it followed by Wills moans.

"Are you horny big boy?" Matt asked as he started to rub his friends juicy member. He was answered with just muffled moans which was the only answer Matt needed. Matt began to stroke his friend's cock faster and fast. He stripped fully naked, exposing just how horny and hard he also was, and began rubbing up against it, his juice covering his body. Matt could feel his friend get closer and closer to climax. Matt became very excited and put his lips around the tip of his friend's cock sucking him off. Will couldn't hold it any longer and moaned loudly as he let out the biggest load he'd ever done before. Matt gulped down his friend's sweet juice every last drop which filled his belly. It was so much even his own toned stomach began to resemble a round belly.

"What is all that- oh jesus christ..." Wonka and the other two boys had ran round the corner to see what all that noise was. They were met with the sight of two naked blue boys. One round and 10 feet tall leaking juice from his nipples cock and arse hole and the other a bloated boy displaying his hard dick to the group whilst covered head to toe and his friends juice.

"We didn't know the juice would do this and he just drank loads and then this happened and yeah" Matt tried to explain. The rest of the group were just shocked by this sight.

"That doesn't explain why you're naked and covered in his juice, boy" Wonka said already knowing the answer.

"I couldn't help it Wonka. He was so horny and so big I just had to-" Matt was cut off by the sound of gurgling coming from his own bloated gut.

"Yes well I'm afraid you follow the same fate as your berry boyfriend here then. Probably best you stripped down then it makes this process much more comfortable." Just then, as it did with Will, Matt's belly lunged forward. All presence of muscles were gone. His belly jiggled as it rounded out and the rest of his body filled with sweet blueberry juice. Wonka went over to one of his workers as Charlie and Henry looked on in shock as the once very fit and attractive Matt blew up into a fat round blueberry. "Could I have two of you roll these fat boys down to the juicing room please." Wonka then looked back at Matt, who was now getting taller and taller whilst also getting rounder and rounder. He showed no sign of stopping any time soon, soon matching Will's height and then some. "Actually we might need more than two workers."

Four workers marched up to the two large berry boys and began to roll them towards the large round doors they entered. Matt had gotten so big that he could barely squeeze through the door. He got stuck and four other workers had to come and push him through. "Who's the fat hog now" Will said mockingly even tho he also struggled to fit through the same doors. The two boys got rolled to the juicing room and was promptly squeezed. However they couldn't squeeze all the juice out of them leaving both of the boys still looking like 300lbs fat blue men still naked left exposed for everyone to laugh at. Wonka went to visit them with the other boys once they had finished being squeezed.

"Well boys, look at the state of you. I'm afraid there's no way to reverse this. You two will be stuck being jiggly blueberry boys for life now as you couldn't help being competitive and keeping it in your pants." Matt looked down embarrassed by what he had done. "You two will have to stay here in the factory. We will find you a room together where you two can enjoy each other's company more privately." The two boys looked at each other and smiled. They were happy to be together now. There was always some sexual tension between these two so they were happy to freely explore there new bodies together. "As for the two boys remaining, shall we carry on the tour?" Wonka then marched out of the juicing room followed by Henry and Charlie as Will and Matt both started making out with each other, exploring their new fat blueberry bodies.

Heres part 2 to my series. Please let me know i you guys are enjoying this series so far. Im really enjoying writing it and already cant wait to write the next part. Thank you!

[smytherines]

What we have as canon for Spies Are Forever is sparse. It's a spy comedy parody musical, it's ambiguous because that's all they have room for, leading to a lot of different readings that all have their arguments for or against. None of those are "correct" they're just interpretations.

So, keeping that in mind, we know Owen Carvour for around 10 minutes before the banana incident. A few minutes of that is him pretending to be another person, so I'll set that aside for now. Here are things Owen does in A1P1 in order of how I remember them:

Saves captured boyfriend from goon

Shoots goon in knees

Beats up a lot of goons

Reassures Curt's boss that the mission will be completed successfully, gets mildly insulted by a jealous Curt

Pushes Curt out of the way to shoot an armed guard that was aiming at him

Mildly chastises Curt for drinking on the job

Takes one swig after being teased and makes a face

Mildly chastises Curt for leaving a banana peel on the staircase

Agrees to four minutes on the timer

Attempts to re-lock the safety barricades to limit the explosion (I think?)

Gets cornered by goons

Building starts to explode, he finds out Curt set the timers for 3 minutes, they run

Slips, "dies"

Building explodes on him

The first part is the most ambiguous- when he's pretending to be a goon and Curt is being tortured. My personal read on it is that either Owen was already there for his own spy-related reasons and rescued Curt, or he somehow found out that Curt had been captured and went on a rescue mission. He does tell the goon to crush Curt's testicles, but I dunno immediately before that the goon tries to break Curt's fingers and gets his own fingers broken instead, so it feels like Owen is reasonably confident in Curt's ability to take care of himself? The worst thing that happens to Curt is that he gets tickled.

I do love the thought of Owen finding out Curt has been captured and packing a feather just in case he gets a chance to fuck with him. They don't establish who brought the explosives I don't think, but given that Barb doesn't say "use the explosives you already have" and that Owen spends so much time setting them, it was probably Owen?

Here's a list of things Agent Curt Mega does in A1P1:

Admittedly cool spy guy shit (breaking fingers, whatever was supposed to have happened with the pipe- its unclear to me)

Gets spotted by guard who hits the alarm

Talks to boss

gets annoyed that his boss likes Owen better, drinks, makes fun of Owen

Beats up goons

Eats a banana, leaves peel on stairs

Didn't wear rocket shoes because they didn't match his outfit

Ignores Barb explaining how the camera works to take the pictures they need

Suggests blowing the whole facility instead

Convinces Owen to try to beat their record of 6 minutes (Owen says to set for 4, I think)

Sets the timer for 3 minutes

Tells Owen they don't have time to do the safety barricade thing

Building starts to explode, tells Owen he lied, he set the timer for 3 minutes and they need to run

Tries to reach Owen when he falls, fails

Runs away before building explodes

What I'm saying here is that my read on A1P1 is that Curt sucks. Owen comes across as a decent enough guy, he comes off as a guy who cares about his partner and is looking out for him, and Curt is kinda the bad influence on him. Curt comes across as jealous and petty and egotistical, which is interesting because in so many pre-canon fanfics Curt is the pure precious babygirl and Owen is already a monster. I'm not saying it's wrong, I've read and enjoyed a lot of those stories and theories. It's just very interesting to me to see how the post-banana and pre-banana versions of Owen and Curt are sort of meshed together in a lot of fan imagination? I don't see it that way, but that's totally fine.

I wrote everything but this paragraph before the Mega bastards lore dropped. I already made a big big post about that, and it does sort of change my perception of Curt in some ways, but just on a basic level this is where I'm at

[buckysgrace]

Fifty Two

Dancing in the Dark Masterlist

“So,” Cindy leaned against the counter to stall Kim’s movements, “You and Billy then?” She raised her eyebrows, her eyes narrowing as Kim nearly ran into her with an opened bag of icing. She stalled, taken aback. 

“Huh?” She blinked as she rapidly glanced around, but Billy was too busy scrubbing one of the dishes to pay much attention to what she was doing. She huffed, blowing the loose hair from her face. She had a hard time keeping her hairnet on anymore. 

“He told me you two are together.” Cindy replied as she pressed her glossed lips together. Kim felt her eyes widen, her cheeks burning as she stammered for an answer. She was taken aback, unsure of how to answer as Cindy’s calculating eyes dug into her. 

“Oh,” She shot a look over her shoulder, her face still burning as she desperately wished Billy would’ve given her some sort of warning, “Yes.” She replied, knowing that there was no reason to hide their relationship from someone like Cindy. It wasn’t any of her business in the first place. 

“That’s kind of fucked up, you know that right?” Cindy wrinkled her features together in disgust, taking a step back as if she might catch something from Kim. Kim took a deep breath before she went on her way, deciding that Cindy’s comments weren’t worth her time at all. 

She walked back to where she was piping out red roses, feeling quite proud of how they had turned out. She’d felt a lot better once her infection had cleared up, especially in her mouth. It no longer hurt her to eat and snack on sweets. That was the important part to her. 

“Is there something I can help you with?” Kim sighed deeply once she noticed that Cindy had followed her back to her station. She turned towards her, having no desire to discuss this further. Cindy merely shrugged. 

“I’m just trying to figure out why he’d want to be with you.” Cindy replied as she dragged her eyes over Kim’s body, still looking as disgusted as earlier. Kim didn’t feel any shame this time, didn’t feel any hurt. 

“He says he really likes my mouth,” Kim spit out, embarrassed at her own words, “I don’t know. We’re happy together though.” She mumbled as she began to work on the flower again. She briefly wondered if she’d be able to learn how to crochet flowers into her yarn work. 

“For now.” Cindy said smugly, looking a little triumphant as she leaned against the counter. Kim watched as Cindy winced, looking irritated as she began to rub the red frosting from her arm. Kim felt her lips forming into a smile, watching as it only smeared deeper. 

“I’m sorry you feel that way,” Kim replied a second later, “I’m happy with him, so your comments really don’t bother me.” She said blissfully, feeling a little proud for not caring what someone thought. She glanced towards Billy, wondering if he would be proud of her when he found out. 

“It’s weird,” Cindy kept talking as she began to use a paper towel to rub it off of her arm, “I mean, what do your parents say?” She asked, blinking rapidly like she was trying to process it all. Kim looked at her, unsure of why she was asking so many questions. 

“I don’t care what they say,” Kim said at last, fully knowing that Cindy didn’t even know the full story, “I love him.” She stated, feeling like that was more than enough to end the conversation. Cindy furrowed her eyebrows together. 

“That’s kinda fucked up,” Cindy replied, “But you are an odd thing. Congrats I guess.” Kim stopped for a moment, trying to process being called odd. She blinked a second later. 

“You’re congratulating me?” She asked hesitantly, sure that she had heard Cindy wrong. Kim took a step back, a little intimidated by the way Cindy turned towards her again. 

“Should I not?” Cindy raised an eyebrow, “Billy is a total catch.” She said with a laugh, stating the truth before she turned to head back to the station that she called her own. Kim stalled, feeling a bit of whiplash from how the conversation had gone. 

“What was that about?” Billy appeared after, one eyebrow raised as he rested a hand against Kim’s waist. She made a face towards him, feeling like it wasn’t a coincidence that he appeared once Cindy had left. 

“She called me an odd thing,” Kim said softly as she pressed her fingertips together, “And then congratulated me for getting with you.” She replied, feeling like she was growing even more confused as she thought of the conversation once again. 

“She’s fucking weird,” Billy mumbled as he shook his head, “Do you want to get lunch together?” He asked, his smile soft and sweet as he looked at her. She liked how he’d tucked his hair up into the net. It was messy, a bit disheveled but he still looked handsome. 

“Can we?” She looked at him confused, thinking about how they hadn’t done that before. She wasn’t even sure if they were allowed to leave at the same time. She thought that it would be nice to get lunch together, if they were allowed to do so. 

“If we take our lunches together we can,” He laughed as he looked at her, “Where do you want to go?” He reached down to link their fingers together, making a spark of electricity travel up her arm. She squeezed their fingers together, no longer feeling shy about someone seeing them. 

“You pick,” She said softly, “You pick out good places.” She told him truthfully, feeling like he had a better relationship with food than she did. She was glad he was making her try new things, even if she didn’t like them quite as well. 

“Yeah?” He smiled as he began to pull his apron free from his waist, “You ready then?” He asked her, watching the way she began to scramble to clean her area up. She smiled sheepishly, not meaning to leave it in such a mess. 

“We can go right now?” She questioned him, watching the way he nodded his head to answer, “Okay then.” She giggled in excitement, feeling a little bit better as she began to untie her apron. It was covered in different frosting colors today from how badly her hands had been shaking. 

Kim followed him further into the back of the restaurant. He gave Rosemary a quick goodbye, stating that they would be back in thirty minutes before he tugged the door open for Kim. She stepped out, pulling her sweater a little tighter to her as a cool breeze washed over them. 

“Here,” He grinned as he pulled her hair net off of her head, “There you go.” He smiled at the way her hair fell about, all messy and static. He gently toyed with it for a moment, getting it to rest neatly on top of her head again. 

“I forgot about it,” She laughed softly, “Oops.” She smiled towards him, watching the way his blue eyes glimmered like calm waves during the summer. His skin was warm and golden, giving her all the heat she needed as she nestled her way against his side. 

“You looked cute,” He reasoned with a smile, “I figured you didn’t mean to leave it on.” He added softly as he guided her across the street. She hadn’t spent much time exploring what was nearby, but was in no way surprised that he was aware of it all. 

They took a left, then walked another street over before taking a right. She looked around the whole time, ensuring that he had some idea of where they were going. She didn’t want to end up lost. That would be embarrassing. 

“Ramen?” She looked towards him after reading the sign outside of the door, “That’s what you wanted?” She asked curiously, only able to think of the cheap packets that Susan would occasionally get. 

“It’s good,” He grinned as he held onto her waist, “You like noodles.” He said as he nudged his hip against hers. She flushed a little bit, her cheek burning as he reached over to kiss the side of her head. It was quick and small, but still made her heart hammer roughly inside of her chest.  

“I didn’t say it was bad,” She chewed on her bottom lip as she looked over the menu outside of the restaurant, “What do you like?” She asked him, admiring the way the sun melted off against his back. It gave the illusion that he was glowing. 

“I’ve never eaten here before,” He admitted, “I thought we could try it together.” He squeezed at her hip, making a smile burst free on her lips as she nodded her head in agreement. She liked that idea. 

It wasn’t busy inside, thankfully. They were able to get a table near a window, allowing Kim to occasionally watch the people outside as they waited for their drinks to come back. She’d decided on a Coke, while Billy decided on a sweet tea. 

“I think I want the chicken one,” She pointed out as she looked at it, “It sounds good.” She said as she looked it over. She’d get it without mushrooms, however. She still didn't care for them. 

“It does,” Billy agreed, “I might get the pork with the vegetables.” He pointed out, making her look down at the menu to read all of the different things that were included in it. She reached for her Coke as the waitress brought it over, then looked towards Billy as he repeated their order back. 

“Gross,” Kim said after as she wrinkled her nose up playfully, “I figured you’d get that.” She giggled a second later, quite proud of the way she’d read him. He sent her an amused look as he leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms comfortably. 

“Mhm,” He grinned as he turned his attention towards her, “Sounds like you and Cindy are becoming close.” He teased as he flickered his eyes up to meet her eyes. She raised her eyebrows high on her forehead, knowing that was far from the truth. Cindy was still not a fan and neither was Kim. 

“Oh please,” Kim laughed, “She basically said you’d end up leaving me.” She shook her head, still thinking that Cindy’s response was funny. She wondered if Cindy would ever get over Billy, or if this was just something she’d have to deal with for a long time. 

“Not true,” Billy replied quickly, “And not for her. Her breath stinks.” He pointed out, making Kim’s eyes widen at his claim. She tugged on her hair, sending a kind smile to the waitress as she dropped off their food. She felt her cheeks burning a little bit, sure that the other girl had overheard his part of the conversation. 

“Billy,” Kim giggled softly, “I can’t believe you said that.” She replied as she moved her bowl around, watching the way the steam rolled off of the brown broth. The chicken was sliced and positioned towards the top of the bowl, with a hard boiled egg resting on the other side. 

“Why not?” He chuckled, “It’s true.” She stabbed at her egg cautiously, giving him a knowing grin before she bit into it. She closed her eyes for a moment, sure that it was not right for an egg to taste that good. 

“Can I have your egg?” She asked him seriously, no longer caring about what Cindy thought. She just wanted to focus on eating, to focus on being around Billy. It felt like they’d finally been able to come over the hill they’d been struggling up. 

“Sure,” He said, “But you’re scrubbing your teeth before I kiss you again.” He wrinkled his nose as he watched her, clearly disgusted with the way she enjoyed it. 

It took her a few attempts but finally she was able to stab her fork into his egg and bring it over to her bowl. He wrinkled his features as he watched her bring it up to her lips, the broth from the bowl drizzling down the side of the white egg as she slowly bit into it.

“It’s good,” She told him seriously as she chewed it, “Really good.” She hid back a laugh, unable to hide her amusement at the distasteful look on his features. He shook his head as he scooped up a roll of noodles away from where his egg had been. 

“Disgusting.” He told her gruffly, making a face as he blew on the scalding noodles. He was gentle as he brought it up to his mouth, taking a large bite as she continued to nibble on the eggs. 

“Have you tried them recently?” She asked him seriously, wondering if he just needed to give them another chance. He knitted his eyebrows together as he brushed his thumb against the corner of his mouth to wipe away some of the excess juice. 

“No thanks.” He responded as he shook his head. She smiled as she waved it in front of him, enjoying the way his features crinkled up as she continued to tease him. 

“I mean,” She drew out slowly, “You always tease me about not eating things, yet here I am, eating something that you won’t touch.” She smirked, watching the way his features knitted up in competition. 

“Is that how you want to play this?” He laughed as he reached towards her fork, “Fine.” He said, moving his fingers like he was going to grab a hold of her fork. 

“No,” She protested as she shoved the rest of the egg into her mouth, “This is mine.” Her words came out muffled as she spoke and she winced at how scolding the broth was as she chewed down the egg. She feared the inside of her mouth may be burnt after. 

“You’re a mess,” He laughed as he shook his head, “I think we should do something for spring break. Just you and I.” He said a second later, glancing back down at his bowl as he swirled some more noodles onto his fork. 

“Oh?” She smiled brightly as she listened to him, “What do you have planned?” She asked curiously, following his same movements with her own fork. She blew on it for a second, then quickly took a bite. 

“I’m struggling with that part,” He laughed softly, “A lot of parties happen during that time.” He brought up slowly, looking a little frustrated at the thought. She felt her shoulders sag a little bit, sure that he could be doing something fun with Tommy if it wasn’t for her issue with alcohol. 

“Oh,” She paused for a moment, “I’m sorry.” She told him truthfully, sure that he would’ve had something really fun planned. He tilted his head, watching her curiously for a moment before he spoke up again. 

“It’s not your fault,” Billy shook his head, “I don’t want to be the one to do anything stupid.” He chuckled a second later, smiling as he brushed his fingertips against hers. She wiggled her fingers a little closer to him, enjoying the way their fingers fit together. 

“You haven’t,” She smiled as she looked at him, “How much longer do they have to drug test you?” She asked him softly, hoping that he was almost out of the clear. It also made her a little wary. She didn’t want Billy to fall into another stump again. She didn’t want that for either of them.

“A few more months,” Billy sighed softly, “I guess it’s not that bad.” He shrugged his shoulders as he bit down on a mushroom. She thought about it for a moment, glad that he was at least feeling a little better over the whole ordeal. 

“You’re doing well,” Kim told him softly, “I’m really proud of you.” She smiled at him, watching the way his curls brushed against his shoulders as a breeze from the open door slid inside the room. 

“I’m proud of you too,” He said as he pressed their fingertips together, “We can figure something else out to do then.” He tapped his fingertips against her open palm for a moment, making her think for a while. 

“Even going to the beach is fun,” She paused for a moment, “Maybe we can go horseback riding?” She suggested in excitement, thinking that it might be fun to see some farm animals again. She’d really like to pet some more cows, if at all possible. 

“You really want to learn?” Billy looked at her in amusement, his eyebrows knitting together as she sent him a sheepish smile. She didn’t think there was anything wrong with wanting to learn. Horses were cute. 

“I have the greatest teacher across from me.” She teased him, giggling at the way he rolled his eyes in disagreement. She watched as he reached across the table and stole a piece of chicken from her bowl. 

“Right,” He snickered, “What are you going to do about prom?” He questioned her, his dark eyebrows raised in confusion. She paused, realizing she hadn’t thought that far ahead yet. She supposed she wouldn’t get one now that she wasn’t in school, but that was okay. She had him and that was all that mattered. 

“I guess I won’t get one,” She shrugged her shoulders softly, “I’ve danced with you. That’s good enough.” She teased him as she tilted her head, watching the way his eyes turned inquisitive. She really didn’t mind missing out. It was just a dance. 

“You’ll get to go to prom,” He said as he furrowed his eyebrows together, “Have you looked at dresses?” He asked with a raised eyebrow. She felt her cheeks flush as she remembered he’d peeked into her wedding journal. She hoped he didn’t think it was too girlish. 

“No,” She told him with a laugh, “It’s months away. I think I would’ve wanted something pink.” She said truthfully, deep in thought as she brushed her thumb down against her bottom lip. She liked the dresses with the big shoulders, but she also liked when they looked a little older. 

“Of course,” He smiled, “No surprises there. We’re going to go to prom together.” He stated, nodding his head sternly so she couldn’t come up with an excuse. She raised her eyebrows. 

“What?” She giggled, “Is that how you’re asking me?” She smiled as she watched the way his cheeks flushed for a moment, like he just now realized how it sounded. 

“That’s the best you get,” He grinned as he looked at her, making her feel all warm and tingly on the inside, “I bet mom would like to go dress shopping with you.” He pointed out. She nodded her head softly as she brushed her thumb throughout her bowl, thinking softly to herself. 

“That would be fun,” Kim responded shyly, “I wish mom could be here. And Max.” She said a second later, feeling like it might be nice to have their opinions. She felt like if this was to be her only prom dress, she at least had to put some effort into it. 

“Max would hate looking for prom dresses.” Billy laughed in response, looking at Kim incredulous for a moment. She thought about it, knowing that he was very right. 

“You’re right,” Kim laughed, “But I like to think that she’d do it for me.” 

/////////////////////////////

New Years rolled around a few days after, leaving Kim more and more excited as Rosemary gathered more ingredients for their little party she was setting up. Kim couldn’t even remember celebrating much for New Years. She was sure that she’d never been able to stay up that late before recently anyways. 

“Sparkling cider and grapes,” Rosemary proclaimed as she passed them both a cup full of liquid and grapes, “So good.” She said excitedly, munching on her own grapes once Kim took her set. She looking down at the green grapes, glad that she had gone with those. 

“Mhm,” Billy mumbled, “Much better than champagne.” He said sarcastically as he brought his cup up to his lips. She shot him a look before she walked around the couch again, shaking her head. Kim still felt bad sometimes, knowing that Billy really missed having his beers whenever he wanted. 

“It is good,” Kim said softly as she sipped on it, “I like it.” She snacked on a few more to keep her hands from shaking. She hated how it came and went. She had been fine earlier, but it was like her body reacted whenever she thought of alcohol. She was sure it had to be in her mind. 

“It’s full of sugar,” Billy replied a second later, “So not really surprising.” He teased her, nudging her shoulder softly. Pearl jumped up suddenly, her eyes wide and tail fluffy as she stared at the two of them for a second before she darted off the cushions and raced down the hallway. Russell shrieked a second later, likely getting attacked after leaving the bathroom once again. 

“You’re funny,” She laughed, shaking her head as she watched Pearl race back towards the kitchen as Russell came tumbling after her, “You don’t like it?” She asked him curiously as she took another drink, sure that she’d be able to finish his if he didn’t want it. 

“It’s alright,” He wrinkled his nose, looking like he was going to suggest something before he stopped himself, “Just not my favorite. That’s it.” He shrugged his shoulders, busying himself from saying anything else as he shoved a few grapes in his mouth. 

“What’s your favorite New Year's memory?” She asked him instead, crossing one leg over the other as she turned to face him. She’d felt fairly lucky with her hair this evening. She’d gotten it curled and poofy in the right manner this time. She had a bit of silver sparkle on her eyes and the red lipstick that Billy had gotten her for her birthday. 

She really didn’t have any fancy dresses, or at least not any that she’d wear around Rosemary or Sam. She thought about her pink one, thinking that it had been some time since she’d put it on. She decided against it, not wanting Sam to get offended over what she was wearing.

She decided on a jean skirt instead and a pair of black tights with little sparkles on them. Her sweater was white with blue snowflakes stitched through it. She thought that it looked cute enough, at least for staying in. 

“Uh,” Billy paused for a moment, “I don’t really remember. I don’t think I have one.” He wrinkled his eyebrows together as he thought, moving his hand behind the couch for a moment. She watched him curiously, enjoying how his eyes twinkled. 

“Really?” She asked him softly, although she wasn’t that surprised. Holidays around Neil had always been tough. He seemed to try to0 hard, but Kim realized now it was more to punish Billy than anything. He gave special treatment to her and Max. it wasn’t fair. 

“I think I was too little if we did celebrate it,” Billy paused as he took another drink from his cup, “I spent too much of it drunk at parties to really remember.” He said finally as he brushed his fingers through his hair. He licked his lips a second later, then shook his head before he took another drink from his sparkling cider. Sometimes she wondered if he was pretending to be drinking something else as well. 

“Oh,” Kim nodded her head softly, “I don’t think I remember one either.” She said at last. Susan usually worked as she would get paid double and Sam always seemed to be gone. Neil hadn’t ever let them stay up that late either. She supposed they were in the same boat there. 

“I guess this will be good for us,” Billy grinned as he leaned over to kiss her cheek, “We can make our own memories.” He added softly, pausing for just a moment to brush his nose against hers. She giggled at the sensation. 

“Cute,” She smiled as she looked at him, “I’d really like that.” She replied as she wiggled her way a little closer to him, enjoying the warmth from his body. She wondered how he could stay so hot all the time. Even now, her fingertips felt cold to the touch. 

They were quiet for a moment as she turned her attention back to whatever was playing on the TV. Russell was rambling to Sam and Rosemary in the kitchen about his new love of snowboarding. He’d never actually been snowboarding before, but he was convinced that he was a born natural. Kim believed in him all the same. 

“Kim,” He chewed on his bottom lip as he thought for a moment. She turned towards him, tilting her head as she noticed the way his expression tightened, “The drugs that I took before, I found them in your moms stuff.” He replied, making her eyes widen at his revelation. She thought about it for a moment, trying to make sense of everything. 

“What?” She asked him, her throat a little dry as she knitted her eyebrows together. Susan had a drinking problem, but she didn’t do drugs. She paused, sure that he must’ve mistaken the drugs. They had to be Eddie’s. 

“In Susan’s bag,” He paused as he brushed his fingers across the couch cushion, “Or Wayne’s. I don’t know. It was in their stuff though.” He mumbled underneath his breath, drawing his eyes up slowly as he met her eyes. She stared at him for a moment as she felt her heart beating roughly inside of her chest at his words. 

“Why wouldn’t you say something before?” She asked him seriously, feeling a little panicked as she thought about Max being there alone with the other three. She didn’t want to think the worst of them, but she also feared what Max might be getting exposed to. 

“I didn’t want to make your relationship more tense than it already is.” Billy replied softly as he flickered his eyes over her features. She breathed in deeply, bringing her finger up to chew on it for a moment as she thought about the situation Max might be in. Max hadn’t mentioned anything bad in any of their phone calls, but she also wasn’t one to just admit to that. 

“She’s there with Max,” Kim said worriedly, “I wouldn’t have let her go if I knew that.” She said quickly, beginning to feel guilty all over again. He reached over and gripped her knee, giving her a soft and reassuring squeeze. 

“I don’t know if she was taking it,” He said lightly, pausing before he continued his thought, “Maybe she was hoping someone would relapse.” He told her, his blue eyes soft and calm as she held onto his gaze. She was confused. 

“She didn’t know about what happened to you.” She said softly, knitting her eyebrows together in confusion. There was no way that Susan would’ve known about any of Billy’s drug issues. 

“I don’t think it had anything to do with me.” Billy said at last, leaving Kim searching for an answer for a moment. She paused as she glanced over her shoulder, looking at the way Sam was explaining something to Russell. She felt her lips part, her heart ache just a little bit. She didn’t want to believe that Susan could do such a thing, but she also knew how her mom was. But to her knowledge, Sam had never touched drugs before. Just alcohol. 

“Oh,” Kim breathed out softly, “I see. You don’t think she was taking it then?” She asked worriedly as she toyed with her fingers, a little stressed about the whole ordeal. She didn’t know what to think now. Her parent’s relationship was such a mess. 

“I don’t know,” Billy told her truthfully, “I just wanted to let you know.” He mused softly, looking concerned as he brushed his fingers against the side of her hair. She wished she could believe him, but she felt like she already had her answer. 

“Do you think she did that to my dad before?” She whispered underneath his breath, fearful for what his answer would be. She felt guilty even asking it, like she was assuming the worst of her mother. 

“No,” He said after a second thought, “I don’t think she would’ve done that when you guys were struggling. I don’t know if she really did this on purpose.” He nodded his head gently, pulling his lips into the warmest smile as she felt herself exhaling in response. He made her feel better, even when she felt like her emotions were being torn about. 

“Right,” Kim nodded her head softly, “I guess that makes sense. What do I do about it?” She asked him seriously, though she figured he’d be just as lost as she was. There was no easy way to go about this situation. Speaking to Susan anymore was almost too draining anyways. It was still tense. 

“I don’t think there’s anything you can do about it,” He mumbled as he linked their fingers together, “I just thought you deserved to know.” He brought her hand up to his mouth, smiling before he peppered kisses across her knuckles.

She smiled at him, trying to ignore the way her heart was slowly unclenching inside of her chest. She took in a shaky breath, trying to remind herself that it could be a problem for later. For tomorrow. She just wanted to be happy with him right now. She’d inquire a little more from Max; just to ensure that everything really was fine. 

“Try this,” Rosemary grinned as she brought over two plates, “A different recipe.” She said as she held out a piece of dessert. Kim inspected it, thinking that it looked to be a piece of cake with powdered sugar on top. 

“What is it?” Billy asked curiously as he poked his fork into it, already preparing to take a bite before he fully knew what it was. Kim held it up to her nose, taking a gentle sniff to ensure that it really was powdered sugar. 

“Vasilopita,” Rosemary said in excitement as she nudged Sam, “Tell them about it.” She said joyfully as she held onto his arm. She bounced a little, tugging onto him and nearly toppling his glasses off of his face. 

“You bake a coin in it,” Sam replied softly as he held onto Rosemary, “Whomever finds it is said to have good luck for the next year. Old tradition.” He shrugged his shoulders casually, but Kim looked at him curiously. She’d never heard that before. 

“That’s neat,” Kim said as she poked her fork through her dessert, “Why a gold coin?” She asked suddenly, a little intrigued on why there would be money baked into a dessert. 

“From St. Basil the Great,” Sam said softly as he bit into his dessert, “He redistributed his wealth by baking gold coins into bread, then gave them to the residents of the city.” He explained, grinning at the way Russell dramatically fell back onto the couch as if he was bored. He wiggled about, his long hair dangling onto the floor. Kim watched from the corner of her eye as Pearl’s butt went into the air and she stared at the loose strands. 

“Why didn’t he just give them the money?” Billy questioned as he scrunched his nose up, “Why bake it into bread?” He looked baffled, like it was a silly thing to do. Kim pursed her lips together before she took a bite, realizing that it tasted more like bread than cake. Still, it was good. Sweet. 

“I don’t know,” Sam replied as he shrugged his shoulders, “I guess he just thought he was doing a good deed.” He said as he continued to eat, sending Rosemary a sly wink as she continued to stare at him. Russell gagged.

Pearl pounced then, throwing her little paws up into the air before she attached Russell’s hair. He yelped, trying to pull away as she roped her claws through his thick strands. She rolled onto her side, her tail fluffed as she repeatedly kicked her back feet into the side of Russell’s head.

“Hey,” Kim laughed as she picked her up, grinning at the way Pearl went limp in her arms, “That wasn’t very nice.” She smiled as she squished her face against Pearl’s. Russell whined as he sat up, rubbing the side of his head.

“She’s a demon,” He said quickly, watching Pearl in disdain, “She bullies me.” He said seriously. Kim chewed on her bottom lip, supposing it was true in some way. She also thought it was partially Russell’s fault for the way he’d play with Pearl in a similar manner. They enjoyed to roughhouse. 

“Fuck,” Billy grumbled as he pulled a quarter from his mouth, “You really had to bake money into it?” He bought his spare hand up to his jaw, rolling it around like he was afraid he’d broken a tooth. Kim made a sympathetic face, sure that it had hurt his tooth. 

“That’s the tradition!” Rosemary grinned, “Great! You’re going to have good luck!” She clapped her hands together, sending him a cheery smile as Billy grumbled in response. 

“Go, Billy!” Kim grinned as she plopped back down next to him with Pearl, “At least it was one of us.” She giggled, including herself into his celebration. Pearl stretched out, wiggling until she was free. She situated herself on Billy’s lap next, staring at him until he finally gave in and let her rest across his lap. 

“Damn,” Russell mumbled despite Rosemary’s protest, “I wanted the good luck.” He replied, pouting out his bottom lip. 

“Here,” Billy mumbled as he tossed the quarter in Russell’s direction. Russell stared for just a second too long and the quarter bounced off of his head , “You can have it. It almost took my tooth out.” He replied as he rubbed at his jaw, while Russell rubbed at his head and whined about being picked on. 

“I did warn you that it was in there.” Rosemary pointed out, smiling sweetly as she continued to eat her dessert. Kim nodded her head softly, but was glad that Billy didn’t end up swallowing it. 

“She really did.” Sam said with a nod of his head, agreeing with her as everyone settled back into their spots. Kim glanced at where Pearl was resting against Billy, then smiled as her soft purrs reached Kim’s ears. 

“Does anyone have any resolutions?” Rosemary asked a few minutes later, her legs crossed as she ignored the pile of dirty dishes that had gathered on the coffee table in front of them. Kim glanced towards Billy, realizing he was staring at the pile of dishes. 

“We already started ours,” Billy grumbled, “So no.” He chewed on his bottom lip, looking like he was seconds from knocking Pearl off and scrubbing the dishes clean himself. 

“I think I have one,” Sam said at last, “I want to finish my degree in geology. I think that would be nice.” He replied, smiling nicely in response. 

“That would be fun,” Kim told him softly, “You’re really good at it anyways.” She told him truthfully, wishing she could fully understand the way he and Max enjoyed collecting rocks. She hoped that Max wasn’t being too cold to him. 

“I want to grow taller,” Russell said at last, “I want to be taller than everyone.” He said proudly as he crossed his arms. Kim already figured that he’d be taller than her and Billy soon. He just had to grow past Sam’s height. 

“I want to be shorter.” She said in response, still feeling awkward at how lanky she seemed in comparison to other girls. Cindy was a similar height, but she had a certain confidence about it that Kim lacked.

“No you don’t,” Billy interjected, “I like your height.” He said as he nudged her leg, looking almost offended by her words. She felt her face growing warm. 

“Oh,” Kim giggled, “I want to get better at crocheting then.” She said at last, feeling that was a better answer than her previous one. Rosemary thought for a moment.

“I think I have everything I need here,” She said softly, “Although, I would like to take a jazzercise class.” She said thoughtfully, wrinkling her eyebrows together before she nodded her head. 

She snuggled up to Billy the rest of the night, watching the hours drag by as she struggled to keep her eyes open. She kept blinking, her head lolling against Billy’s shoulder as she felt herself slowly falling to sleep. 

“I’m tired,” She mumbled as Billy shifted her again, trying to get a rise out of her again, “Maybe we should have a little nap.” She replied as she pulled her feet onto his lap as she moved her face into the crook of his neck. 

“It’s not even midnight yet.” Billy laughed, poking at her sides to try and jolt her awake. Sam and Rosemary were already passed out on the couch, the sound of them snoring making a nice melody for Kim’s sleepy ears. 

“All they do is shoot off fireworks,” She whined softly, “So what?” She pouted as linked their fingers together, feeling like a nice long nap sounded a lot better. 

“You’re staying up,” He teased her, “Don’t even think about falling asleep.” He replied as he tickled at her sides, making her giggle in response. She stretched her arms out above her head as a loud yawn took over, swaying the amusement she’d briefly felt. 

“But I’m so tired,” She whined, “And you’re so warm and the couch is soft.” A squeal left her mouth as he tickled at her sides a little harder, before he wrapped his arms underneath the back of her thighs and against her back. 

“Let’s fix that then.” He grinned mischievously as he lifted her into the air, making her shriek as she gripped a hold of him. He shook her lightly, grinning down at her as he carried her to the kitchen. 

“Where are we going?” She asked him worriedly, suddenly fearing that he may try and dunk her into cold water. She gripped him a little tighter, not wanting to feel her body erupt into a shivery cold. 

“Outside.” He said briefly, keeping his features stoic as he pulled the door open with his free hand. She gasped, squealing loudly at the feeling of the wind hitting her body. 

“It’s cold out!” She protested, her eyes wide as the cold breeze hit her. She shivered instantly, almost wondering if being dunked into the tub would’ve been better.

“It’ll wake you up,” He grinned mischievously, “It’ll be just for a minute.” He chuckled as he held her, his features warm despite the chilly breeze. She snuggled a little closer to him, trying to soak up his warmth. 

“Goodness,” She shivered in his arms, “It’s freezing.” She told him seriously, feeling like she was well alert and awake now. He grinned as he looked down at her. 

“At least it’s not snowing.” He added, making her smile in agreement as she moved her arm underneath his hair so she wouldn’t accidentally pull on it. He slowly began to shift her in his arms. 

“Oh you’re right,” She laughed as he slowly set her down, “Do you know how to ski?” She asked him curiously, keeping his arms up so she could wiggle underneath his warm embrace. 

“No,” He grinned as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ears, “Do you want to learn with me?” He teased her, making her wrinkle her eyebrows together as she thought about it. There was no way she’d be able to ski. She’d end up breaking something, she was sure of it. Or toppling off the slope. 

“I would not be any good.” She told him seriously, squinting her nose up as she continued to think of all the horrible ways she might die from skiing.

“But we could learn together,” He grinned, “Do you want to go to the mountains for spring break?” He asked as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders. He rubbed at her upper back softly, giving her a sense of warmth as she brushed her cold nose against the side of his neck. 

“Maybe,” She laughed as she pushed her hands into the back of his pockets, “You’re so warm. It would be so cold there.” She told him seriously, grinning at the way he jolted as she squeezed at his flesh. 

“I know a way to keep us warm.” He smirked softly as he tilted his face down to look at her better. She grinned, having an idea of what he was talking about. It was tempting. 

“Mhm,” She smiled, “I’m sure you do.” She replied as she buried herself into the crook of his neck again, trying to get her nose warmed. She kissed his skin softly, glad that her infections had finally cleared up. 

“What are you two doing out here?” Russell shouted as he pulled the door open roughly, looking a little disappointed at the way neither of them jumped apart. Kim raised her eyebrows as she turned towards him, her hands still glued to Billy’s ass. 

“Warming my hands.” She said simply, giggling as she clung to him. Billy chuckled as he kissed her head, both of them watching as Russell wrinkled his features up in annoyance. 

“Weird,” Russell said, “There’s this thing called gloves. Maybe you should knit some.” He wrinkled up his features, looking a little bit like the solution was simple before he walked back inside. Kim gaped as she removed her hands from Billy’s pockets. 

“I crochet,” Kim stammered out, “It’s different.” She shouted after him, but he was too far away to pay her any attention. Billy smacked the side of her thigh, smirking softly before he dragged her back inside. 

Once it hit eleven it wasn’t too hard to stay awake, at least for the extra hour. She ended up covering Sam and Rosemary with a blanket, watching the way they continued to slumber. Kim was slightly jealous, wishing that she could sleep that hard. 

She sat crisscrossed with Billy, Pearl resting lazily between them as they listened to the music playing over the radio. She bashfully worked on her crocheting as Russell talked Billy’s ear off about the newest video game that he’d recently beat. 

They lingered near the kitchen, closest to the radio as the countdown began. They shouted out the numbers at the same time, Kim and Russell being the loudest as they eagerly jerked Billy’s hands up and down in the air. He was smiling stiffly, though his eyes were draped in excitement. 

“Happy New Years!” Kim shouted at the same time with Billy as she loosely held her arms around his shoulders. She grinned, laughing before he pressed their lips together in a frenzy. She kissed him deeply, sliding her tongue against his bottom lip as Russell gagged and ran away. 

Billy cupped her face gently, dragging his thumbs across the curve of her face as he kissed her sweetly. He dragged his lips against hers, inhaling the taste of her as she kissed him just as eagerly. 

“Happy New Years,” Billy smiled softly as he pulled away, then leaned forward to kiss the tip of her nose, “I’m glad I have you.” He mumbled as he brushed his fingers against the base of her neck. She smiled in return, feeling her heart hammering at his words. She felt the same way. 

“Hey,” Russell approached cautiously, “This got mixed up with my letters.” He said, looking a little sheepish as he held it out to Billy. Kim tilted her head in confusion, watching the way Russell pushed it out towards him. 

“Did you read it?” Billy wrinkled his eyebrows together, looking a little playful as Russell looked at him with wide eyes. 

“No,” Russell flushed, “I thought about it but I stopped. That’s why it’s a little torn.” He explained quickly, looking like he might get in trouble. He bounced on the tips of his toes, looking at the paper curiously as Billy turned it over. He fell silent. 

“Whose it from?” Kim asked curiously as she leaned over his shoulder, only to stall softly, “Oh.” She replied as she read the name, faltering for a moment. She supposed she shouldn’t be surprised. He’d try to contact him one way or another. 

Billy said nothing as he opened the letter. He didn’t tug it away either, rather he tilted it in a way that Kim could easily read with him if she wanted to. She glanced towards him, feeling a little worried at how tight his features became. 

The handwriting on the letter was sloppier than usual, making Kim wonder if it was rushed. She didn’t want to think that Neil actually had something wrong with his health to make his letter so messy. She actually couldn’t make out most of what it said from this angle, but the messy letters certainly didn’t help. 

“What does it say?” She asked, squinting at the words as she did her best to try and figure out what was being said. It didn’t make sense to her. Not at all. 

“He’s requested a transfer,” He replied softly, “He’s coming here.”

[pettyrevenge-base]

My brother ransacked my room. I cost him a job, prevented him from sleeping, and jacked up his phone bill.

New account for anonymity sake. Let's set the scene. It's 2010, I had just turned 18 and spent a long summer week away from home enjoying my new freedom to come and go from my parent's house as I pleased. During the week I crashed at friends' houses, went camping with other friends, video games, and all the cigarettes and tobacco products and snacks me and my friends could afford.

My meth addicted brother (27), I'll be referring to him as Mack, who thought he was going to make it big in the music scene because of of all the different drugs he was willing to do. He thought being on acid made him play as well as Jimi Hendrix because Hendrix did acid. This is relevant because in one of his many drug induced rampages, Mack was convinced his USB microphone was in my room. So Mack knocks on the door while I'm away, convinces my dad that he was recording in my room and left it in there. It was never in there. He was never there. My dad was so wrapped around Mack's manipulative finger that he never questioned anything he did. I kept careful inventory of my room because my parents and siblings would steal from me all the time and try to use my bedroom as a storage room for all sorts of things. Thinking back, his excuse was likely just to steal from me like the rest of my family did.

Mack goes into my room, tosses the place like out of movie scene during one of his notorious benders. He flips the mattress. Empties out every dresser drawer onto the floor. Nothing was left the way I had left it. After all was said and done I had to spend 3 days cleaning and reorganizing my room because of how badly this tweaker destroyed everything of mine. Things were broken, clothes everywhere, bins and boxes dumped on the floor. It was like a tornado had rampaged through a trailer park in Iowa. My dad had heard all of this going on and did nothing.

I showed my dad the mess. Dad just shrugs at me and says "He's in his 20s, what do you expect me to do?" "How about fucking stop his strung out ass from tossing the place? How about at least calling him to have him clean up his mess?" I replied. He practically ignored me and before walking off says "He was looking for his microphone and you need to just deal with it." Going to my mom was no different. Mom was so terrorized by him that she wanted no part of anything involving him because she felt unsafe. I can't blame her. He became aggressive when challenged on anything he did wrong.

Realizing nothing was going to be done by my parents and this was no matter to call the police over since Dad let him in the house, I did exactly what my dad said and dealt with it. I tried to be 'diplomatic' at first and asked him to come clean up my room. He laughs, makes fun of me, then says "I needed my microphone." I asked if he found it, I know he didn't because I knew where it was. Over in my dad's garage. He never answered. I scooped up the microphone to hide it even better. Stuffed into the rafters of an old shed on the outskirts of the property, inside of a large PVC pipe stacked up with other pipes. It's where he went to smoke his meth sometimes so I knew he wouldn't be looking for it there due to the paranoia of being caught by any of us. I gave Mack one final warning text to 'Clean it up or else'. He again made fun of me, "Crybaby bitch! How difficult is it to clean your own room? You're just a lazy piece of shit!" The last one really torqued me because he was a thief and did everything he could to get out of work.

Later that night I decided to do my best Tom Petty impression.

I leave my parents' house to sit around a campfire at a friend's house. I waited until I left because then Mack couldn't find me, neither could my dad. I knew my dad was going to simp for him and defend him yet again. I waited until Mack would've been nice and comfortable at home. I lit my first cigarette of the night and promised myself that nothing would stop my ensuing plan until I smoked the whole pack. I had recently learned how to SMS bomb. At the time, you could add the same contact into your SMS app multiple times for a group chat. I believe it was up to 30 on the phone I had. For every 1 SMS/MMS I sent him, he received 30 in total. I spent hours sending messages to Mack. If I had a cigarette in my mouth, I was text bombing him. I spent from 9pm until 4 am sending Mack thousands upon of thousands of text and picture messages. I have now dropped a Hiroshima sized text bomb on the fancy Blackberry he was so proud of buying a week or two before this.

For anyone wondering, it was simply a copy and pasted text that said "This stops when my room is clean" and a picture of the mess he had made. I alternated back and fourth. This took very little effort and left him inundated with notifications every 1-3 seconds. This effectively DDoSed his phone into oblivion. It was locked up tighter than New York subway car. He could not call, text, or even open anything on his phone other than my text messages.

Dad starts frantically calling me around 1am. I ignored it. Then my mom calls me and leaves a voicemail for me to call him. Worried it's an emergency, I call dad back. Dad picks up the phone, screaming at me "His phone is locked up and he can't use it! You need to stop this RIGHT FUCKING NOW!" I replied "He needs to go and clean up the mess he made of my room RIGHT FUCKING NOW or just deal with it like I have to." The argument continues for a while longer, the entire time he's defending Mack tooth and nail. Eventually I broke it to my dad that there was nothing I could do to stop the flow of messages and notifications. He hung up and never brought it up again.

After the smoke had cleared (pun intended) I found out Mack had his Blackberry locked up for 10 days. He wasn't able to respond to a job offer and wasn't smart enough to leave an alternate contact means. The job went to someone else by the time Mack was able to return their call. He was still going to be stuck at the job he loathed for a while longer. His phone plan had a monthly SMS/MMS and data limit that I absolutely destroyed. The month's bill was over $300, I wanna say closer to $400. His live in girlfriend was also pissed because they had to leave the phone on and plugged into a charger to let it process the messages from my mass messaging campaign the night before. The notifications made the phone unusable and they were stuck listening to the notification sounds for those 10 days. They tried stuffing it inside of a blanket but the phone would get too hot and they were worried it would start on fire. On the counter, plugged in to an outlet it sat. Keeping them awake and annoyed constantly.

Another 2 months roll past, I finally decided he could have his microphone back... Kind of. I took it out of hiding and stuffed it in his keyboard box that was also stored at my parent's house. He found it there not too long after and never even apologized for what he did, not that I ever expected him to. He even bragged about finally finding it. He never went into my room again without my permission out of fear of his phone being locked up again.

TLDR; Bro ransacked my room looking for his microphone that wasn't there. I sent him literally thousands of text messages that made his phone unusable. I cost him a job, 10ish days of sleep lost to constant notifications, hundreds of dollars on his phone bill, and a terrible home life with his GF because of all of that. I also hid his precious microphone for an additional 2 months before giving it back.

Source: reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge

[mariana-oconnor]

The Red-Headed League Pt 2

until the comical side of the affair so completely overtopped every other consideration that we both burst out into a roar of laughter.

Professional people being professional. Mmhm. You'd think a doctor would be better at keeping a straight face, I'm pretty sure humans have been sticking inappropriate things in inappropriate places since time immemorial. But these two are giggling like school boys. A lovely image, but I'd be a bit mad if they did it to me. I can't blame Mr Wilson for being mad at them.

Finally, I went to the landlord, who is an accountant living on the ground-floor, and I asked him if he could tell me what had become of the Red-headed League. He said that he had never heard of any such body. Then I asked him who Mr Duncan Ross was. He answered that the name was new to him.

Surprising no one at all. I said it in my comments about the first part, but I love how this whole scam has been echoed in heist shows/films right up to modern day. Acquire offices under false pretences, create hype around fake business, use office to make business look legit, pack up shop and leave an empty office behind and no one with any clue what the mark is talking about.

"I went home to Saxe-Coburg Square, and I took the advice of my assistant. But he could not help me in any way. He could only say that if I waited I should hear by post.

I mean, honestly, for someone who is supposedly unassociated with the league in question, that's more than he should be able to say. A more normal response would be 'That's fucking weird, boss. I think it might be a scam.' But clearly Victor is entirely trustworthy, so I shouldn't question him. Totally trustworthy.

On the contrary, you are, as I understand, richer by some 30 pounds, to say nothing of the minute knowledge which you have gained on every subject which comes under the letter A.

I expect that pub quizzes weren't around in 1890, but if they were, Mr Wilson would be an excellent addition to your team.

The internet tells me pub quizzes only date back to the 70s. Which seems late, as I swear my Mum's dad and brothers used to go religiously to their local league when she was young, but maybe I got the timeline on that wrong.

Further investigation has found me to be correct as the very league my family used to frequent is apparently referenced in an article from the early 60s. In fact it quotes someone who absolutely must have known my grandad and might even be in the picture of the quiz team on top of our bookcase.

This tangent has been brought to you by my love of trivia... Pun intended.

Back to the 1890s

"Why did you pick him?"

"Because he was handy and would come cheap."

"At half-wages, in fact."

"Yes."

A lesson that stands to this day: if something seems impossibly good value, it probably is. And if someone is willing to work for less than they're worth, one of you is the bad guy.

"As a rule," said Holmes, "the more bizarre a thing is the less mysterious it proves to be. It is your commonplace, featureless crimes which are really puzzling, just as a commonplace face is the most difficult to identify. But I must be prompt over this matter."

This reads like a contradiction, but I'm pretty sure it's true. It's the weird things that make crimes stand out and lead to the people committing them. The crimes that are completely run of the mill, like house burglaries, are one of a thousand almost identical crimes. But if a juggling clown robbed a shoe shop and rode off on a unicycle, that would cut down the suspects drastically.

"To smoke," he answered. "It is quite a three pipe problem, and I beg that you won't speak to me for fifty minutes."

Infamous line is infamous. All problems may be measured by how many pipes it takes to solve them. The standard SI unit of mysteriousness, I believe.

"Sarasate plays at the St. James's Hall this afternoon," he remarked. "What do you think, Watson? Could your patients spare you for a few hours?"

"I have nothing to do to-day. My practice is never very absorbing."

Let's hope no one has stuck a candlestick anywhere unmentionable... But seriously, you can just ditch your patients for the day? And I complain about waiting times for the NHS!

Watson is just: 'My bff asked me to play hooky. Lol. Byeee!' and these people are paying him.

"Smart fellow, that," observed Holmes as we walked away. "He is, in my judgment. the fourth smartest man in London, and for daring I am not sure that he has not a claim to be third. I have known something of him before."

Holmes, the man is a terrible con artist. He's the most suspicious and he was so obvious it was embarrassing. And you're putting him right behind you in the list? (I assume Mycroft is number 1)

I guess that being intelligent doesn't mean you have to be good at conning people, but really, he's terrible at it. He couldn't have been more obviously involved if he had a sandwich board on saying 'The red-headed league is a con. Ask me how!'

I know Mr Wilson didn't work it out, but literally everyone else did. I bet that 14 year old child labour maid Mr Wilson hires knows he's a con man and just doesn't care because she's not paid enough to.

"Not him."

"What then?"

"The knees of his trousers."

I have been on this website too long, because my mind absolutely went into the gutter here. Which, incidentally, was also one of the places I thought of his knees being.

"Let us now explore the parts which lie behind it."

Is it a bank? Please be a bank. I honestly can't remember. But I want it to be a bank. Just for that good, old-fashioned bank robbery shenanigans. Although I will accept jewellery shop.

"There is Mortimer's, the tobacconist, the little newspaper shop, the Coburg branch of the City and Suburban Bank, the Vegetarian Restaurant, and McFarlane's carriage-building depot."

Oh yeah. Got to love a bank robbery. Classic.

This has been copied so many times in media it's difficult to tell whether contemporary audiences would have been as able to work it out as modern readers. But it's a classic for a reason.

Also worth noticing that there's a Vegetarian restaurant in London in 1890. You'd have been hard pressed to find a vegetarian restaurant in most parts of England in 1990, so that's ahead of its time.

My friend was an enthusiastic musician, being himself not only a very capable performer but a composer of no ordinary merit. All the afternoon he sat in the stalls wrapped in the most perfect happiness, gently waving his long, thin fingers in time to the music, while his gently smiling face and his languid, dreamy eyes were as unlike those of Holmes, the sleuth-hound, Holmes the relentless, keen-witted, ready-handed criminal agent, as it was possible to conceive.

Watson's crush is showing again. 😆

This description keeps going in a further totally heterosexual way. Look, I'm not saying straight guys can't appreciate their bff's 'languid, dreamy eyes', but when directly compared to his descriptions of other characters... This is exceptionally effusive is all I'm saying.

And, I say, Doctor, there may be some little danger, so kindly put your army revolver in your pocket.

Must. Not. Make. Joke.

[paddockbunny]

I just have to have a rant right now.

It was a family members birthday today so we went to a family lunch. I was sat there minding my own business (letting the louder family members take over) when one of them mentioned something about Copenhagen and I pepped up and said I was actually thinking about going on a solo trip there and wanted to ask what they thought of it etc. When out of the blue my aunt pipes up and goes “SOLO TRIP? WHY? DO YOU NOT HAVE ANY FRIENDS?” So loudly everyone turned to look at me.

I held it together but I’ve literally been crying since I left at 3 and not because I was completely humiliated but because I’ve been thinking about it constantly for the past few months and the stark harshness of her words have truly upset me beyond describable words.

It’s true. I don’t have a lot of friends. I have 3 or 4 friends in general but none I would term “close friends” and I’ve not had a “best friend” since I was 7. It’s not because I’m not sociable, I love interacting with people (I couldn’t do any of the jobs I’ve had/currently have if I didn’t like speaking to people), I can talk to anyone from any background and creed, but I struggle actually making and keeping friends because I was bullied from the age of 11 to 21 - and even beyond that if you include workplace bullying - so feel like I’m a hindrance, unwelcome, a spare part and always in the way. The thing is, even without the PTSD from being bullied for so many years I do prefer my own company. I’m happy at home and enjoy my own space possibly more than a lot of my peers (so much so the thought of Uni halls gave me anxiety attacks before I went to Uni that I found a flat by myself and worked two jobs to afford it because finance wasn’t enough in a ridiculously expensive city.) I’m incredibly independent and don’t need “chummed” anywhere to do anything. I go to the movies alone, take myself for lunch, shop, travel all completely autonomously. So when my aunt said that this afternoon it wasn’t the fact she exclaimed “SOLO TRIP” so loudly that everyone stopped talking that upset me - and truthfully it wasn’t even the humiliation of her screech of; “do you not have any friends” that garnered a smattering of subtle laughter that did either - it was the fact that she made something that I had taken as one of my biggest strengths away from me in 5 short seconds.

I was instantly reminded of all the times I cried myself to sleep as a teenager wondering why no one liked me, why I had to try twice as hard to fit in as everyone else and why I had to be the one that was the target for childish immature disdain for no other reason than existing. It triggered thoughts (from only last month) that I wasn’t “right” to be friends with and even closer ones from this week as to why I wasn’t invited along to something this weekend. It also triggered that feeling of “what’s wrong with me?” that I know a lot of people who have gone through childhood bullying carry with them and trying to pinpoint exactly what it is that I needed to “fix” about myself for people to want to be around me.

As much as my aunts words and reaction stung what probably hurt more was that my mother said nothing. She stayed silent. She didn’t even give me a reassuring “it’s ok, she’s a fucking idiot, I’ll talk to her later” glance. She sat there and pretended not to chuckle even though she knows what I’ve gone through in the past. She just wrote it off and brushed it under the carpet with ease and nonchalance. No doubt thinking her usual bullshit line; “you’re old enough to defend yourself, you don’t need me to do it - but watch how you retort and how you come across because everything you’ll come out with will piss me off and make me angry as no matter now gently you do it you always sound so defensive” as she usually does.

So seconds later while I sat uncomfortable and on edge - everyone now glaring at me like I was the first great white shark in captivity waiting with baited breath for my answer - I just shrugged and stated; “I do, but none of my friends have any money ergo no people to go on holidays with.” Now, while this is semi true (thank-you very much cost of living crisis, fuck you!) it isn’t the case for a few of my friends….they just don’t want to spend that much time with me and honestly, I get that because I would probably not want to spend that much time with them either (because, funnily enough, I like my own company.) And that’s before we even consider the fact that not everyone likes the same things. My idea of a holiday and my friends ideas of holidays differ wildly and that is perfectly ok. One friend likes Ibiza, nightclubs with very little clothing and sleeping all day partying all night. And that suits her. One actually likes travelling but solely stays in hostels, flies by the seat of her pants, always ends up with some medical injury or illness and doesn’t plan a single thing. Again that suits her. And one goes to the exact same location, exact same hotel, exact same two weeks of the year and would never think of leaving the resort to see anything other than the beach or the pool. And that, absolutely suits her. I like culture. I love a museum and attraction (think The Met in NY and The Colosseum in Rome). I love eating local food and seeing how things are made like wine, olive oil, chocolate that come from that country or region. I like taking a guided tour, I like talking to local people, I like asking for recommendations and experiencing the culture and history of wherever I am. That’s just me and I realise that might not suit everyone and not be the idea some people have as a holiday so I don’t ask people to go with me. What I guess my aunt finds so sad is that the person I usually go with that was the person who installed all of that travel intrigue in my was in fact my own mother - the one who stayed silent when this all came up, the one I’ve got a trip coming up with this coming week, the one who laughed as I was made feel small and didn’t defend me.

Overall, I do want friends that would travel with me - actually, I just want friends in general to be honest - but I can’t seem to make and retain friends who even really like me very much, let alone enough to take a trip with me. And I’ve always told myself I’m happier like that but now being so triggered, maybe not. I’ve always thought I’m independent because I find it easier, I don’t need anyone else, The only person I have is myself, I have to rely on me and me alone and I always thought the lack of dependency was something I should be grateful for.

But today has made me realise that being alone and flying solo, is now something to hurt someone with and independence can be used as a weapon.

[sister-hawk]

sometimes for people to learn, you have to let them stumble and do things awkwardly and sometimes even fail. failure is a powerful teacher. if it isn’t something critically important, you have to trust them to figure it out, even if they make a few minor and relatively harmless mistakes along the way. they will learn from them and they will be better for it. as a teacher you are there to provide them with a safety net if things go wrong. you are not there to provide an on-rails experience.

this is something my mother just cannot understand. she is sometimes insufferable to cook with because she simply must hang over my shoulder, watch everything i’m doing, and constantly pipe in with “suggestions” for how to do things differently. i have tried countless times to explain this to her and by god this woman is as stubborn as a fucking mule. she cannot will herself to let go of the reigns and just let me do it myself.

i’ll ask her a question about how to do something, and instead of simply telling me, she will compulsively move to do it herself. i have gone through multiple cycles of “what do i do? no don’t do it yourself just tell me. no don’t use your hands i just want to know what to do. please just tell me in words,” in a single instance, multiple times. she can’t. she simply can’t.

and it maybe wouldn’t be such an issue if it weren’t for the fact that i need time to process the information i am taking in. i am autistic. i can’t help it. this is how my brain works. i must intake the information, process it through visualization, and then develop muscle memory so that i will actually hold onto any of it. but my processing is so slow that it can’t keep up with just being guided and directed to do the thing by someone else. i don’t learn nearly as well if i’m just following along, even less so when there are distractions like a kitchen counter covered in ingredients, stuff all over my hands, her constantly pushing into my physical space. you may have shown me the what but my brain hasn’t had time to process the why. and the why is critically important to the way i think and remember information.

i believe this is just one small piece of the puzzle of why i am like this. why i have such a difficulty finding independence, because she micro-manages so badly that any time i start to stumble, she swoops in to do it herself or correct me. if i make a small and ultimately inconsequential blunder, i don’t need her to swoop in and fix it immediately. i need time to observe and process and create those pathways in my brain to understand what went wrong, why it went wrong, and how to not do that again. this is a normal part of learning, and she denies me that opportunity.

i do not blame her for not knowing this intuitively. i can communicate my needs. what does frustrate me is how many times i’ve tried to explain this and how obvious my discomfort with her methods is, and how little effort she makes to actually change anything about her behavior. how little effort she makes in understanding my unique needs as an autistic person.

[space-cops]

my latest weird little fucked up dream because I had to post it somewhere with more than a paltry 200-something character limit

i wasnt the person in the dream but it was first person pov. I HAVE TO SET THE SCENE BECAUSE IT'S RATHER EXTENSIVE??? there were five of us living in the same house. it was a great big, very old victorian style-ish home with many, many floors. i don't remember how many but we didn't use the higher floors. everyone in the house was vaguely together in some sort of relationship? i think?? the bonds were definitely more than friends in some cases but it was really vague idk. on the bottom floor (b), two people lived there and they had lived there the longest. the two people who lived in the bottom floor mostly kept to themselves and we all were okay with this. they weren't mean or anything they were just sort of anxious and liked their space. i was closer to one of them than the other, but they were still very standoffish despite this and i was chill w it. they had lots of books and decorated the area in very soft, pale colours. there was a piano and i remember being told it was never played. it was very open and had lots of natural light. i knew in the dream i spent many evenings there reading with them and having dinner. the next floor up (1) lived a young man who used a wheelchair. he had the entire floor to himself but spent most of the time in his room, which was a typical sort of gamer-y room. several screens, dark but clean, lots of different forms of media. he was quiet and sweet, and i noticed he would watch me more often than the others. i knew in the dream setting we spent lots of weekends playing games together. the next floor (2) was where i lived. it just. was a house. i don't remember how it was decroated specifically but there was a particular hallway with a window at the end. it had a radiator beneath it. the bathroom was located on the left, and my room was on the right. the walls were sage green and the floors were a dark natural wood. i cooked a lot for everyone in the house and was always bringing food to everyone. i did not spend a lot of time on my floor. i seemed to be everywhere but my floor and I do not know why. the 2 floor ups (4) lived a woman who played the piano and sang and it was the softest purest sound i'd ever heard. i remember waiting at the open window at the end of my hall to hear her play in the morning. i used to bring her fresh fruit from the farmer's market in town, but the dream never left the house? if that makes sense. I do not know what was on the third floor. I did not go to the third floor. Nobody went to the third floor.

The house was beginning to fall apart. I knew it was starting to fall apart. We were having problems with the water periodically, and i was keeping up with fixing it myself but it would always act up again in a week or so. I noticed a slightly raised part of the floor by my radiator, just a small corner by the pipe leading into it. the problem was duly noted and would be fixed later. I went down to the bottom floor to visit the two people there. One of them had died. They died in the night. Their body was laid down on the floor and the other person was curled up next to them, and i remember begging for them to get up, to let me call the police, to let me do something. They were not speaking, they just stayed next to their housemate, staring at them. I remember thinking that they were dying too, and there was nothing i could do. I was told to leave, and hesitantly did. On my way out, I noticed part of their floor was buckling near the plumbing. "Oh, this is worse than it was last week." I went upstairs to the next floor. He was packing everything up. "There's water, somehow. I'm making sure everything is packed in case something goes wrong. Can you help me?" I helped him, packing everything up neatly except for a handful of things he wanted to risk for his own ease and entertainment in the meantime. I remember sitting on the edge of his bed, facing a window, which was open for the first time and he said "You never sit there. Are you okay?" and I shrugged and told him I was okay. He said "You look so different in the light." I laughed it off. As I was leaving I noticed some of his pipes were actively leaking and thought, I have to go downstairs to turn the water off right now, but for some reason I did not. I went to my floor to start making everyone dinner, and that's when my pipes started leaking. I noticed it by the window first. Water was coming out from under the bathroom door but I couldn't open it to see how or why. I couldn't open my bedroom door to start moving anything Important up onto the bed. The water had to be going down into the floors beneath mine and instead of worrying about my stuff, I started worrying about everyone else. I went down to f1 and started bringing his stuff up to the third floor, knowing that the problem was the worst on f2. it took hours, but I got it done. The wood flooring was buckling so badly I had to carry him and his wheelchair out and i brought him up to the third floor. He was worried about staying there, but I assured him it was okay. "You care so much." I went down to the bottom floor. It was full of water but it was so clear and it was so bright down there that I couldn't see anything. I kept calling out to the person down there and I wasn't getting an answer. I tried walking through the water but I could barely move in it. I remember begging for them to come out, to come find me, to let me help them, and they still wouldn't answer. I managed to get to the water supply and turned it off, but I had to go back upstairs. It was very cold, and I remember the combination of how bright it was versus the bitter cold made me uncomfortable in like. a non physical way. the vibe was really scary. The woman on f4 did not answer me, and she wouldn't open the door. She kept singing and playing but wouldn't come out to help. None of the lights were on on her floor, but I never noticed any damage either. The problem only reached my floor. I got f1 set up on f3 and once everything was set up, we started talking about our housemates on the bottom floor. "We have to leave them there. They are gone. Please don't go back." but I knew I had to go back. I kept seeing them laying on the floor together and I had to help. "You cannot go back down there until there is no water. You can die." And I did not go back. I called someone to help with the water and they came out a day later. As it usually goes with dream logic this was fixed in like a week. Everything completely back to normal. At the end of the week, I stopped listening to my housemate and went down to the bottom floor. The repair people didn't say anything about the people living there but at this point I knew that where they lived was separated from the utilities, so to speak, so they probably never ran into any of them. They never asked what was in the other rooms down there. I opened the door and I don't? Remember what exactly I saw at first? But there was almost nothing in there. It was empty, and cold, but so bright. The piano was gone. The furniture was covered in this white? stuff? I remember thinking it was a fungus or something? And eventually I entered the part of their floor where I had found them last and the two of them were still there, on the floor, with their blanket. I rushed over and the housemate that refused to let me help was staring, open eyed at the ceiling. I thought they were dead. Half their face was covered with the blanket. Suddenly they blinked, looked back at me, and started sobbing. I fell on my knees and pulled them from the blanket into my arms and they were soaking wet. "You came back for me. You came back even though he told you not to. You still love me? Are you mad at me? I couldn't leave, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you." And the way my heart hurt, the way my entire person was in this horrible physical pain from the amount of emotions I felt holding my housemate was what exactly how i woke up feeling and I literally never ever ever want to feel that way ever again :)

[trashcanmoose]

Continuing from last time, here's more of my commentary on my Animorphs re-read! We're on book one right now.

Of course, a SPOILER WARNING for anyone who hasn't read the series.

Let's get into it.

Book One: The Invasion (Chapters 6-14)

I don't know what came over me right then. I had been so afraid. So terrified. But it was like something just snapped in my head. I couldn't just hide and watch, I couldn't. "You filthy - " I jumped to my feet. I snatched up a piece of rusted iron pipe from the ground and started to climb over that wall. I guess I just went crazy or something. It had to be craziness, because there was no way that I, alone, armed with a piece of pipe, was going to accomplish anything. The Andalite's silent cry made me hesitate. I felt Marco's hands grabbing at my shirt and pulling me back. Tobias and Marco held me down. Rachel put her hand over my mouth. I was trying to scream, or curse, or something. "Shut up, you idiot!" Marco hissed. "You're just going to get us all killed." "Jake, don't." Cassie put her hand on my cheek. "He doesn't want you to die for him. Don't you realize? He's dying for us." I shoved Marco and Tobias away angrily. But I was in control of myself again.

Okay, so it's a long part to be highlighting but this whole section makes me actually feel like I can relate to Jake on something, which I feel like won’t happen super often in this series from what I can remember, but I could be wrong. The anger of seeing something terrible happening that you can't stop? That's exactly what's going on here.

Then we have this, which felt necessary to share:

At the very end, he cried out. His cry of despair was in our heads. His cry will always be in our heads.

Okay, when I said last time I wasn’t going to highlight anything specific from Elfangor’s death? This. This I’m highlighting because it’s a major starting point in the Animorphs’ PTSD development and it would actually be really terrifying in real life.

And just a little more of Elfangor’s death, as a treat.

Okay not really a treat, more of a punishment I suppose:

The Taxxon-Controllers rushed forward and crowded around Visser Three. They seemed to be stretching up toward him, and then I saw why - a piece of the Andalite fell from the Visser's jaws and the nearest Taxxon greedily gobbled it up.

A second instance of Andalite-eating in the series already. That was fast.

Ready for something else that really gets my attention?

I heard a sound that was strange because it was so normal. It was laughter. Human laughter. The humans . . . the Human-Controllers - because that's what they were - were laughing, like they were at some kind of a show.

I know they’re human-controllers, so it’s the Yeerks making them laugh, but it still feels just as fucked up, and for some reason more fucked-up than the Hork-Bajir-controller laughter. There will be so many substantially more fucked-up things in this series though, and I think I’m ready.

Now for some slightly more random notes:

She slowed down just a little and began yelling and waving her arms. "Come on, come on, you - " And then she said some words I didn't realize Rachel even knew.

Rachel got that fancy swearing going on.

And on the topic of language:

Even in my panic it surprised me. They were talking some mix of their own alien language and ours. "Ghafrash fit nahar! I get! I kill!"

I want a Hork-Bajir-to-English dictionary, please. Can this be my next Duolingo language?

The two Hork-Bajir were coming after us, bounding like some devil kangaroos.

I just love this imagery. It’s hilarious to me for some reason.

Then we get back into some more serious stuff:

"Just save the head," the human told the Hork-Bajir. "Bring that to me and we can identify it."

This would be so damn petrifying to hear, especially when you know they’re talking about you.

Then we jump to later, after the construction site, at Jake's house. Jake and Tobias are there.

He was glowing. I swear, he was glowing. Not like he was radioactive or anything, I don't mean that. It's just that his eyes were shining bright, and his face was one big grin, and he seemed to be tingling with energy, bouncing like he couldn't standstill.

I love happy Tobias, and I hate how rare I know that becomes. 

He nodded his cat head up and down. Very weird to see, I can tell you - a cat nodding yes in a thoughtful, normal way.

The thought of seeing this is just really entertaining to me.

He just looked at me with those deep, troubled eyes - eyes I can now see only in my memory.

Ahhh! HOW did I never catch this foreshadowing before?

"Jake, listen to me," Tobias said. "It's just what happened to me when I morphed into a cat. The dog brain is part of your brain now. You have to deal with it."  <But . . . there's a dog in MY yard.> "That's Homer, Jake. You are Jake. You're just in a body copied from Homer's DNA. That's the real Homer out there. You put him out there. Focus. You are Jake. Jake."

A dog in MY yard. Early stages of learning to control the morphs are kind of hilarious.

"Bad dog," Tom said to me. "You keep quiet. Bad dog." And then he left. I was devastated. I wasn't a bad dog. Not really. I was just barking because some other dog was in MY yard. Bad dog? I was a bad dog? No, I wanted to be a good dog. I crept into the corner, utterly miserable. Tobias knelt down and patted my head. When he scratched me behind the ears, I felt a little better.

Jake’s reaction to being scolded as a dog is actually somewhat precious. Not sure why.

But as I was sitting there watching him munch toast, I just had this feeling. This feeling that said No, this has to be a secret. Even from Tom.

Why does this HURT??

A thing that was part horse and part Cassie smiled at us with big horse teeth and said, "Hey, kids."

Petrifying. Certainly nowhere near the worst of what I’ll read in this series, I know, but it would be petrifying to see.

"Let's take a vote," Rachel said. "I vote we try to live long enough to get driver's licenses," Marco said. "I vote we do what the Andalite said - fight," Tobias said. "You've never even been in a fight," Marco sneered. "You can't handle the punks at school. Suddenly now you want to kick butt on that Visser Three freakazoid?" Tobias said nothing, but a blush spread up his neck. "I vote with Tobias," Rachel said, giving Marco a dirty look.

This is the start of me being mad at Marco frequently, isn’t it?

Marco looked at me. "Jake. He's one of them."  "What?" "Tom. Tom is one of them. Your brother is a Controller." I swung my fist and caught Marco in the side of the head.  He jumped back and I swung again. But Marco was quick. He dodged my second swing, and I slipped and went down. Marco snatched the bedspread off my bed, threw it over me to tangle up my arms, and sat on me.  "Jake, quit acting like a stupid jerk," he said.  I was trying to grab him, but he had me pretty good. "Take that back!" I yelled.

Ahhhh! Not only can I 100% picture this scene; but this gives me all sorts of feelings. Marco’s intuition is on point but like, I’d probably be like Jake on this, which is to say, angry and in denial. It’d be a pretty hard hit to hear that someone you care about is the enemy.

"That was the coolest thing I've ever done in my life," Tobias said. His whole face was glowing. "I was riding the thermals." "What's a thermal?" I asked. "That's when there's warm air rising up from the ground. It forms this cushion under your wings. You can just float up there. Like a mile up! You just surf the thermals. You guys have got to do it! It is the best thing ever."

Oh, you asked Tobias about thermals? You’re about to LEARN.

Tobias's eyes darkened. "It's terrible when birds have to be locked up in cages. They should be free."  "Yeah, free the birds," Marco commented sarcastically. "I'll get the bumper stickers printed up."

If I had a car, I’d want this bumper sticker for Animorphs reasons.

"Suddenly the wimp is a hero," Marco sneered.

Marco is an asshole, plain and simple. I would’ve punched him by now.

This time Tobias didn't blush. "Maybe I just found something worth fighting for, Marco."

I want to give Tobias a hug.

"It's not exactly some video game, is it?" Marco said. "This is reality. You don't know anything about reality, Jake. Nothing bad has ever really happened to you. You have this perfect family. Like I used to have." His voice cracked a little. He never talked about his mom's death.

Okay yes, Marco is an asshole, but I still feel bad for him sometimes.

At that moment, something weird happened. I was looking at Tom, and he was smiling at me. But then his face kind of twitched. His head started to pull to one side, like he was trying to shake his head only he couldn't quite do it. For just a split second there was a look in his eyes - scared or . . . or something. He was looking right at me, and it was like some different person, some scared person, was looking out of those same eyes. Then he was back to normal. Or what looked like normal.

Ahhhh too many emotions! Tom has always been one of my favorite characters and I get all too many feelings reading this.

"It could have been anyone," Tom said. "But it might be the one who's my brother, Jake. I know he goes through the construction site sometimes. That's why I brought him here tonight. So we could either make him ours . . . or kill him."

Yikes. Okay, that's part two of book one! Sorry to take so long to write up the commentary. I'll try to be a little quicker with the next part! The next part should be chapters 15 through the end.

I plan to start a re-read of the Animorphs series for the first time in about 10 years. Since I’m sure there are plenty of things I won’t remember, I’ll be sharing my thoughts here. Wish me luck.

[specialgrades]

“mortal beauty.” kars.

kars x bottom!male reader

summary: the irony of the perfect being becoming infatuated with a mere human, right? sunlight makes it hard to court, and taking them in the dead of night is so much more fun.

wc: 918

warnings: non-con turned dubcon, kidnapping, size difference, audience, threesome mentions, cumflation, belly bulge, no prep

a/n: lowkey wish i was space so jojo could’ve launched kars into me OOPSIE DAISY

infatuated.

the best term kars could use to describe how he felt about you. a mere mortal, a weakling compared to him. then how in the world did he end up here?

you were on your knees before him, head down. a couple of strange looking men stole you away from your quaint little apartment in northern venice and brought you here. bound and on display for their master.

kars thought you looked divine. your bare skin almost glistening in the moonlight, stripped of everything but your underwear that left very little to the imagination. a meal ready to be devoured.

“he's quite a beaut, ain't he.” one of the many sickly looking men piped up, staring at you. “master kars picks well.” some more whispers were drowned out by your heartbeat in your ears. kars was having none of it.

“enough!” he shouted, the peanut gallery silencing on queue. he sighed as he used his foot to force your head up; his red eyes burning into yours. he could see the fear in them and shivered at the thought.

“my men aren't wrong, you are quite the number little one.” he kept your head up as he spoke. “what a shame they'll never get a taste of what you have to offer.” his foot thrusted into your throat, knocking you back. in your fit to regain your breathing you barely registered the statue of david looming over you.

he wasted no time. you barely even caught your breath before he picked you up and sat back down on his “throne”. your blurry vision made it hard to focus on him as he tore your remaining clothing away from your body. 

unlucky for you, kars had no intention of prepping your unused hole. he'd been watching you for so long, wondering how a mere mortal could be so captivating. dreamt of how you might look taking the perfect cock. he knew you were a virgin, he could smell it. he almost didn't want to ruin that sickeningly sweet scent; but the anger at the idea of someone else robbing you of your innocence was too strong. 

your pleas to be let go fell on deaf ears. your body shook as you sobbed; kars ignoring this as his ran his hands all over your body. you were so tiny, so fragile. like a little porcelain doll. his hands smoothed over your skin, a weak attempt to soothe your nerves. you could feel his cock pressing against your thigh and shivered. surely he wasn't intending on fucking you, right?

whatever god or goddess you prayed to didn't listen as kars lifted you up to free himself. your eyes widened and your body went stiff as you felt his cock rest against your ass. 

huge couldn't even begin to describe kars in any aspect. you were positive he'd kill you with that thing. you started begging him not to, repeating over and over that it would never fit. kars chuckled.

“i'll make it fit.”

with that he pushed the head into you. your cries of pain were music to his ears, though part of him wished it was of pleasure. in due time he thought. with one hand he guided you further down on his cock. your little hand trying to push his broad chest away was almost comical. 

when he eventually bottomed out your sobs reached their peak. “i told you didn't i? i made it fit.” his gaze fell to the bulge in your tummy, which he used the hand that wasn't holding you down to caress. both wamu and asidisi never took him like that; nor did any of the others he ripped innocence from. it was intoxicating.

“you feel that, little one?” he asked, pressing against the bulge. your whimpers answered for you. “perfect hole for the perfect cock.” he muttered, lifting your hips up. you had a second to catch your breath before he began using you like a fleshlight. 

your cries rang throughout the hideout. certain that peasant boy you would smile at could hear you taking all kars had for you. you kept trying to push away from kars, complaining that it's too much! he know it was a lie, your cock was leaking all over the two of you. you loved this, he could see it and feel it.

your cries began to mix with moans. you didn't want to be taken advantage of like this, but it felt so good! you could feel his cock rearranging your insides and consistently rubbing against your prostate. if he could, he'd get you all round and pregnant with the perfect being’s offspring.

your moans grew in pitch as he kept moving you up and down his cock. kars smirked, using the hand previously pressing on your stomach to tease your cock. his large hand engulfed the whole thing. he chuckled darkly at your attempts for more friction. he only had to jerk his hand once and he had you cumming all over his hand.

you kept whining as he kept using your body to his pleasure. your blurry vision watched him lift his cum covered hand before licking at it. he groaned. of course you tasted sweet and pure. he could feel that your cum was going to be his favourite treat from then on.

“‘s too much, please~ ah!” you begged. “we're not done until i say so, pretty thing.” his movements quickened and fear bubbled up. he was going to kill you with his cock.

his stamina was incredible. you came another four times before he finally let go. you felt your stomach bulge with his cum. he finally pulled out of your abused hole, dropping you on the ground before him. your legs continued to shake as cum leaked from you. you only had a moment of reprieve.

“wamu. asidisi. it's your turn with him.”

[seriouslysnape]

Miscommunication (pt.2)

James Potter x Remus Lupin x Sirius Black x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Language. Poly! relationship. 

A/N: Part 1 is here!

Word Count: 3,376

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”

It had been three weeks since you had stormed out of the boys’ dorm in a scurry of anger. It had also been three weeks since you had touched, talked to, or even spared Sirius a passing glance. As far as you were concerned, he didn’t even exist. Despite your dramatic exit, Sirius was confident that you’d crack soon enough and come running back to him, begging for forgiveness. But the more time that passed, the more that he was beginning to realize that might not be the case.

In a general sense, life continued on as it always had. You walked through the Hogwarts’ corridors with the three Gryffindors, laughing at James’ jokes and blushing red under Remus’ kisses. You gave all your love and time to James and Remus, not offering Sirius a drop of your attention. 

He tried to ignore it. He tried to brush it off like it didn’t bother him and like it didn’t make a difference whether you were with him or not. His attempts to drown you out the way you had been drowning him out were successful at first, but it only took about a week for him to realize how much this was killing him.

In the mornings, you woke James or Remus up (depending on whose bed you slept in the night before) with bubbly kisses and sweet giggles, something that you had always done for all three of the boys’ wake up calls. Sirius had gone almost 23 days (but not like he was COUNTING or anything) since he had any kind of interaction with you.

No cuddles.

No hugs.

No kisses.

Nothing.

The whole situation put James and Remus into a bit of an awkward position. You were on great terms with the two of them, considering they hadn’t insulted you and invalidated your feelings right in your face. This was a difficult challenge to tackle, because they felt guilty for continuing to love up on you when Sirius wasn’t getting his usual share. This was a rather particular arrangement that had taken lots of trial and error to make the right adjustments. Now that the balance had been thrown off, the whole thing didn’t feel right.

James and Remus had both tried to convince you to talk things out with Sirius. They knew that deep down this wasn’t what you wanted, and things couldn’t go on like this forever. James and Remus knew Sirius better than anybody. They were fully aware that Sirius was regretting what he had done and was kicking himself for it...even if Sirius wouldn’t show it or admit to it. 

Sirius was beginning to lose precious sleep over this. He tossed and turned in his bed that had grown so lonely without you. His arms felt so empty not being wrapped around you, holding you snugly to his body. Suddenly, he didn’t have anyone to help him with his Potions homework or someone to remind him about his Transfiguration exam coming up. He didn’t have the girl that completed the complex puzzle that was Sirius Black. He felt so unfinished without you.

He missed you.

But his pride was winning out.

“How’s the brat today?” Sirius questioned dryly, not even looking up from his Herbology textbook in his lap.

“Sirius.” Remus and James echoed, clearly displeased at Sirius’ cold name for you.

Over the last three weeks, Sirius would ask about you when you weren’t around and he was alone with the boys. He would ask how you were doing, but what he really wanted to know was if you had said anything about him or given any indications that you were close to giving in. James and Remus were growing impatient with Sirius. They had tried to step back, allowing both yourself and Sirius to have time to allow your fog of frustration to air out. They had hoped that Sirius would come around to realize that he had been wrong in all kinds of ways, and you both could work it out on your own.

Between stepping all over your feelings like they were a sidewalk and calling you a bitch for being rightfully upset, Sirius had one too many strikeouts on his record.

“What? If she’s going to act like a child, then I’ll treat her like one.” Sirius growled.

James crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back in the chair that he was sitting in by the common room’s fireplace. Remus watched the two of them from over the rim of his cup that contained his favorite hot tea. 

“She’s hurt, Sirius. You hurt her,” James snarled, eyebrows furrowed in agitation, “I don’t blame her for not wanting to talk to you.”

“Did you not hear the things she said to me? She was totally out of line.” Sirius argued, his demeanor going rigid and his defensive mode kicking into high gear.

“Because you pushed her too hard,” Remus cut in, “She has every right to be upset.”

Sirius was shocked that they were taking your side over his. You were never allowed to speak to any of them the way you had talked to Sirius that day. You weren’t allowed to talk back, get an attitude, touch yourself without permission, as well as other rules that had been established early on in the relationship. They all took the rules very seriously, and the fact that James and Remus were brushing it off was mind boggling to Sirius.

“I didn’t push her at all. She caught an attitude with me.” Sirius remarked tossing his textbook aside.

“Because you don’t always treat her the way you should,” Remus snapped, “All she wanted was for you to listen and talk to her.” 

“Do I not already do enough for her? I walk her to class, I let her sleep with me, not to mention that I fuck her pretty much whenever she wants,” Sirius pointed out, “And now I’m still not doing enough?”

James shook his head, sighing harshly. He was disappointed that he still wasn’t getting it. 

“She’s our girl, Padfoot. She responds so well to Moony and me because she knows how much we love her,” James explained, “You’ve got to start treating her like you love her.”

Sirius’ hardened features went light at what James was saying. He looked between his two best friends, who were sharing matching expressions of urgency. Sirius felt a sickening feeling creeping into his stomach that he could feel all the way up into his throat. Had you gone this whole time thinking that he didn’t love you like the other two did?

“But...I do love her.” Sirius spoke, almost in a whisper.

James and Remus looked at one another briefly, a bit relieved that he was maybe starting to see clearly now.

“She doesn’t know that. You’re going to lose her for good if you don’t change some things, Pads.” Remus added once he saw that Sirius was beginning to have a serious breakthrough moment.

That surely got Sirius’ attention. That wasn’t something he wanted at all. It made his heart hurt even to think about possibly never being with you again. He had to fix this, no matter what he had to do or say.

He just hoped that it wasn’t too late.

The remorse and the contrition that he was feeling that had been building up in him over the last three weeks was finally seeping through the cracks of the surface. It was like a fire that just kept spreading and spreading until the only thing he could see were the hot, orange flames and black smoke that would suffocate him if he breathed in too hard. It was like a switch had flipped. He couldn’t stand it anymore. He didn’t care about his pride or his image or his dignity. 

He just wanted you back.

So, the boys began to devise a plan. Sirius admitted that he didn’t know how to even begin apologizing to you. He wasn’t great with apologies, considering that even the word ‘sorry’ probably had only fallen from his mouth only a couple of times in his life. This was going to take some calculation and planning to get it right. 

You had been doing a bang up job of ensuring that you weren’t ever alone with Sirius. You made sure that either James or Remus was by your side whenever you were in Sirius’ presence, to avoid being forced to speak to him. Remus and James were confident that they could get you two in a room alone together. That was the easy part. The hard part would fall to Sirius, which came down to the actual apology.

James and Remus knew you’d be suspicious if Sirius apologized first. You’d likely only think he was apologizing because he was touch starved and wanted sex, not because he cared about you and was terrified of losing you. In their eyes though, as long as he was honest and didn’t lose his cool, you’d be able to see his real intentions.

Remus had told you to meet him in their dorm, and that no one would be there until later in the day. That seemed pretty normal to you, so you didn’t even give it a second thought. The dorm was empty when you arrived, prompting you to slip out of your uniform and into one of Remus’ sweaters all while getting comfortable on his bed. Shortly after you were settled, the three boys congregated just outside the door, whispering in their semi-circle formation.

“You got this, mate. Just be normal and be honest,” James instructed, “I guarantee you that she’s missing you just as much.”

Sirius was nervous. Not because he didn’t know what to say or what to do, but because he had half convinced himself that you had already decided he wasn’t worth your time anymore. He couldn’t live with himself if he was the reason you had left him.

“We’ll be out here just in case you need us,” Remus piped up, “It’s gonna be fine, Pads.”

James and Remus gave Sirius reassuring grins as Sirius took a deep breath before turning the knob of the door. He entered the small dorm room, his heart fluttering when he saw you sitting on Remus’ mattress. Your head snapped up, your face full of delightful expectation for Remus, but it faded just as fast as it came when you saw it was Sirius. He definitely noticed, but tried not to take it to heart. Your eyes were locked in with his, and you could already tell something was up.

“Hey.” Sirius said plainly, and in a bit of a squeak.

“Hi.” You replied.

He was honestly surprised that you actually gave him an answer. He thought you might’ve ignored him completely. The joyous relief that he felt from you actually talking to him was almost enough to send him to his knees, pleading for you to give him another chance. 

His gaze did shift to the book that was placed next to you. It was your Herbology textbook, the same one that Sirius had been studying from earlier that day.

“Studying for Herbology?” Sirius asked, but obviously that wasn’t what he wanted to talk about.

“Yeah,” You answered, unsure of what exactly was happening, “I was just waiting for Remus.”

Sirius nodded, avoiding the sting that burned in his chest at the reminder that he hadn’t truly seen you in almost a month. You looked so comfortable in the large sweater and the blanket that was draped over your lap. Your hair was slightly messy from the breeze outside that you had walked through to get here. Your skin was glowing from the warmth of their room and the sudden interaction you were having with Sirius.

You looked perfect to him.

He knew he needed to say something now. He needed to kick start this conversation before things got awkward and weird. Although, he never minded silence as long as he had you to occupy his every thought. All the things that he had planned to say were abruptly wiped from his mind. He was going out on a limb here, totally about to wing this. He just had to go for it.

“Can I sit?” He questioned, referring to the slight open space next to you.

You nodded hesitantly, shifting over so he could have a little more room. He sat down just about a foot in front of you, both of you turning to face each other. James and Remus were just outside the door, their ears pressed up against the door to be sure they didn’t miss anything.

Sirius looked at you for a few moments, taking in your curious, attentive behavior. He took a breath, and spoke again, but it came out as more of a ramble.

“Baby, I know I’ve hurt your feelings. I didn’t want or mean to hurt your feelings, but sometimes I just say stupid shit and then I’m too proud to admit that I said something stupid and...” He trailed off when he realized that so far he wasn’t saying anything that you didn’t already know. 

This was yet another reminder that Sirius wasn’t a great talker. But he wanted to let you know the things that you didn’t already know. He wanted you to know that he was truly sorry. He was sorry for ever making you feel like you weren’t worth anything to him. 

He wanted you to know that you were his world.

“I miss you,” He began again, preparing for any possible reaction from you,  “I’m sorry for everything I said. I’m sorry that I hurt you...I never, ever wanted to do that.”

Your silence wasn’t because you weren’t believing what he was saying or because you didn’t want to listen. You were silent because you were floored that this was happening. Never in a million years did you think that you’d be sitting here listening to a real, heartfelt apology from Sirius Black. The thought of you leaving him had really scared him, and you could see it.

“I know I’m different from Moony and Prongs. They’re a bit better at this than I am,” He admitted, “But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”

Truth be told, you weren’t really mad at Sirius anymore. You could never stay angry at him. Your whole avoid-Sirius-at-all-costs routine hadn’t exactly been a walk in the park for you either. There were several times where you were tempted to just let it go and forget about it. But now you were glad that you hadn’t done that, because you would’ve lost this opportunity to understand one another a little better.

“All I had wanted that day was to talk to you. I like talking to you,” You explained, “I just get frustrated when you don’t want to listen and the only thing you can think about is fucking me.”

Sirius sighed, his eyes diverting to his hands that were fiddling with the edge of the blanket in your lap. He had known that the other two boys were right, but hearing it come from you made him feel even more guilty.

“I know. I guess I’m just not good at talking. It’s not that I didn’t want to, it’s just...not what I’m good at. I’m sorry that I made you feel like you weren’t important,” Sirius confessed, “But I do love you. And I don’t want to go another day without you.”

Another silence filled the room, one that had Sirius’ heart pounding in his chest. He felt like his entire life was on the line. Like, his entire fate was resting on whatever you were going to say or do next. You had every right to get up and walk out and never speak to him again. He knew he had crossed so many lines so many times that it was a wonder you were still here. He just hoped that you’d give him another chance. He hoped that he deserved another chance.

You were starstruck. You were completely touched and moved by what he had said. Maybe it wasn’t the most flawless apology ever. Maybe it was a little rough around the edges with a couple of hiccups. But deep down it was true, honest, and pure. 

Just like the Sirius Black that you had come to love.

He didn’t have anything else to say, and he hoped that what he had said was enough. Your warm hand came to his face, his head lulling into your palm when you brought his worried eyes to look at you once more. 

“I love you. I promise you don’t have to go without me anymore.” You smiled, accepting his apology and offering your forgiveness.

All color returned to Sirius’ face, his shoulders relaxing and his chest releasing a bated breath. You captured his lips into a needy kiss, one that was nothing short of long awaited. Sirius’ hands came to the side of your neck, his blood pumping in his ears. He had missed this. 

He had missed you.

He was even more thrilled when you crawled over into his lap, his hands guiding your legs around him as he refused to let you go from his lips. Although, when the other two boys came bursting in, your hot make out session was forced to a halt. They came in as if they had no idea what was going on, fake surprised expressions plastered on their faces.

“Well, hello there.” James chided with a smirk.

“Did we miss something?” Remus asked.

You and Sirius only laughed, as the four of you crammed together on Remus’ bed. Sirius continued to pepper kisses wherever he could while you craned your head to look at James as he spoke.

“So, I guess the two of you got things worked out?” James acquired. 

“We sure did.” You smiled, giggling when Sirius’ kisses brushed against a particularly sensitive spot on your neck.

Your lips found his again, Sirius leaning you back onto the mattress and keeping secured there. When your breathing began to get heavy and your noises became a little hungrier, James and Remus announced their exit.

“Well, I suppose Prongs and I will leave you to it.” Remus winked.

Sirius broke the kiss only to respond, but that didn’t stop you from leaning upwards to suck on his pulse point, not even phased by what Remus had said.

“You two aren’t going to stick around?” Sirius wondered, groaning as your hips rolled into his quickly hardening dick through his pants.

James shrugged.

“We’ll let it slide this time,” He said triumphantly, ushering Remus out the door, “Besides, the two of you have some catching up to do.”

Sirius let out a guttural laugh as he took a moment to look down at you. You looked so beautiful sprawled out underneath him; your lips swollen from the kissing and your eyes blown with lustful expectation. He knew he’d never be able to take you for granted again.

“My pretty girl...” He mewled, “I love you. A million times over I’ll tell you that I love you.”

“I love you, Siri,” You hummed, swiping a loose piece of hair from his forehead, “Now make me cum the way I know you know how to.”

Sirius chuckled lowly at your boldness, his pupils dilating at the flush of arousal that sent through him. You knew better than to tell him how to run his show, but he knew this was a special occasion, so he didn’t mind taking an order or two. 

“Well, now, what happened to ‘sex doesn’t fix everything’?” Sirius joked.

“It doesn’t, but we already fixed what needed to be fixed by talking,” You smiled, “Now we just both get something we want.”

Sirius laughed out loud, continuing his shower of kisses and swiping your skirt off in one swift move, your body squirming with anticipation. He felt confident that things would be better now. He was more than thankful that he had another shot at this. He was happy he had you back, and the four of you could go back to normal.

And now things would be even better than before.

***

Tags: @justadreamyhufflepuff​��@satellitespidey​ @blackpinkdolan​ @gubleryum​ @gxtitobxby​ @risingtripletaurus​​

[mypoisonedvine]

𝗥𝗘𝗘𝗗𝗨𝗞𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡 || dark!jan (the edukators/die fetten Jahre sind vorbei) x reader

𝗦𝗨𝗠𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗬 | in scoping out his next target, jan hadn't realised that you wouldn't be joining your family on their next vacation; in choosing to stay home, you hadn't realised what you were in for.

𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗗 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗧 | 4.3k

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 | smut (noncon, with fingering and penetrative sex), innocence kink, virginity loss/first time, brief exhibitionism, degradation, daddy kink, spitting (in mouth and on pussy), breaking and entering/home invasion, touch of misogyny kink, slight objectification kink (petnames like babydoll/dolly being 99% of this), slight bleeding (from sex specifically), death mention (no threats, just the fear of threats if that makes sense?)

𝗔/𝗡 | you don't need to have seen the movie to understand this fic, as long as you know that jan and his friends break into rich people's houses as part of their anti-capitalist rebellion. note that the vast majority of dialogue is written in english for simplicity, but that these conversations would actually take place fully in german.

this is a DARK fic, if you hit 'keep reading' I don't wanna hear you upset about content listed clearly in the warnings section

It’s probably normal to hear a bump in the night, to wake up and be a little freaked out, but to ultimately just stay in bed and not do anything about it. At first you were sure you were sure it was nothing, though your gut told you otherwise; then, as you heard more and more you spent quite some time convincing yourself that it was just pipes creaking or the foundation settling. But the thing about pipes and foundations is they don’t speak German.

“Hier entlang, hier entlang,” someone whispered, and footsteps shifted all along the lower floor.

Maybe you were still asleep, and this was just a strange dream, a terrifying dream. You pulled the blanket up over your head and prayed to wake up, but the denial turned to terror when you heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

You jumped out of bed, but it was too late to go out your bedroom door— you could hear them walking and whispering outside. Your bathroom had a small window, but even if you managed to fit through it you’d be on the second story with no way to ropel down. Maybe in your mind you could be some daring adventurer with the perfect plan to escape, or with the skills to defend yourself with something random you could grab, but you knew better than to really think you could do anything but hide.

As the footsteps and voices got louder, your eyes frantically searched the room and finally landed on the large upright dresser— maybe it was a little obvious, but it had a handy little feature that made it lock from the inside. It had come in handy for a decade of hide-and-seek, and now it would hopefully serve you one last time.

With not a second to spare, you ran over and grabbed the golden handles, swinging the doors open but being careful to shut them quietly after you’d stepped inside and made room for yourself among the coats and dresses. You searched for the lock in the pitch darkness, only able to find it because it was right above the keyhole that glowed from the dim light outside. Just as you turned the knob and heard the metal lock slide inside the wooden door, you heard your bedroom door open.

Someone walked around your room briefly, you even heard them pick something up and set it down— probably your bedside lamp, based on where it was coming from, but you obviously couldn’t be sure and frankly didn’t care that much. Footsteps approached the dresser and you saw the keyhole light up as a flashlight passed over it.

“Let’s take all the clothes and put them in the fireplace,” a voice in the room announced. “We won’t actually light the fireplace, but it sends a message.”

You covered your mouth with your hand to try to keep quiet when the doors shook briefly from an attempt to open them.

“Fuck, it’s locked.”

“Here, you go on to the next room, I’ll pick it,” a second voice decided, and you heard more footsteps as someone else approached the armoire. “Look how fancy the dresser is, they’ve probably got furs in here too— god knows people living in a house like this can’t miss an opportunity to destroy the environment.”

You heard something jiggle inside the keyhole, a clicking noise that went on for just a few moments before you heard the metal slide inside the wood again and the doors slowly opened.

A man, dressed in black and holding a flashlight in his gloved hands, stared at you from behind a mask that left only his brown eyes visible. You both stood still, staring at each other, until he did exactly the last thing you expected: he lifted the mask up to his forehead and showed you his face.

He was a lot younger than you would’ve expected, though he had the scruffy beard of a guy trying to look older; his teeth were slightly crooked when he smiled at you, and when he raised a brow while he gave you a quick look-over, you noticed the way they almost connected in the middle.

Under his gaze, you suddenly felt very aware of how little your lacy, baby pink nightgown protected you from the chilling night air.

"Well, what's this?" he asked coyly as he watched you shiver. "Guess these capitalist pigs left one of their little piglets behind." He put on a cooing sort of voice as he addressed you directly: "Did mummy and daddy leave you all alone while they went on holiday?"

He stepped closer even as you tried to shrink away, examining you carefully.

“Get out of there, silly, what are you hiding for? I’m not gonna hurt you,” he assured, not that you found it especially comforting. When you didn’t step out of your own accord, he grabbed your arm and roughly yanked you forward; he slammed the dresser doors behind you, and you whimpered in fear as he pinned you down against them by each arm. "Shh, hey, don't worry— I'm here to take care of you, you can call me daddy instead until your heartless banker father gets back. Go ahead, tell me what's wrong."

"I—"

"Ah ah," he tutted with a mix of bemusement and disappointment, "I already told you how to address me."

You shuddered but finally responded, "Daddy, I'm scared."

He gave you a demeaning little pout, but you continued.

"Some men broke in and I'm alone and… and I don't know if they want to hurt me."

"No, baby, they don't want to hurt you," he promised with a gentle smile, but it turned horrifically sinister as he leaned in to add with a whisper: "but we will if we have to."

You swallowed thickly, your gut twisting when you felt him breathe out against your neck.

"So you're gonna be a good girl, right?"

You nodded quickly, turning away when he leaned in closer, looking down at you with darkened eyes and running the fingers of his black gloves over the neckline of your pyjamas.

“You were just waiting for me, huh? All tucked in in your cute little nightgown, dressed up like a doll,” he grinned. “I bet you want daddy to play with you, hm?”

He laughed cruelly when you shook your head, fighting harder to get away again as he squeezed your arms tight enough to leave marks where his fingers had been.

“Wanna play, little dolly?” he continued, pressing his body into yours and roughly shoving his leg between your thighs. “I know you do… c'mon and give me a kiss," he requested.

“N-no,” you stammered, but he grabbed your jaw in his gloved hand and forced you to look ahead, slamming his lips onto yours and ignoring your muffled protests. When he pinched your side you gasped instinctively, and he shoved his tongue inside your mouth roughly— but that only lasted for a moment, before you found renewed strength and managed to shove him back. It wasn’t far enough to free yourself, but enough to get a break from the oppressive kiss.

“Aw, don’t be mean,” he pouted, wiping his mouth with the back of his gloved hand. “You said you’d be good for me, remember?”

“Just stop, please,” you whined, gasping before you could stop yourself when he rubbed his thigh up against you— hitting right on your clit which throbbed in spite of everything. Somehow the fear made you more sensitive, or at least something had because you’d never felt quite like this before.

“See? You’re all worked up,” he explained, “I’m gonna help you.”

This time when he leaned in he started to kiss and suck at your neck instead, starting right beneath your ear and moving down slowly until his tongue laved over the crook where your shoulder began. As much as you hated it, it made arousal pulse between your legs where his thigh continued to push hard on you.

When he moved even closer, you could feel his erection against your hip; you didn’t even realise that you’d let out a gasp until you felt him smile against your neck. “Oh, babydoll… you want daddy’s cock inside you, I can tell.”

“N-no, I don’t— just stop,” you begged.

“If only it were so easy, to just ask someone to stop,” he mused. “You know how many times we asked people like your father to stop before they fucked us? You know how far that gets us? You don’t just get to ask nicely, you have to fight for it…”

He chuckled as you writhed in his embrace.

“But you’re too weak to fight, poor thing.”

"Please, I'm not a part of whatever you’re talking about,” you tried to explain, “I don't know much about what Papa does at work—"

"That's your problem, baby, you're blissfully ignorant! Not all of us have that luxury. But the good news is, I'm here to educate you." He pushed up even closer to you, speaking lowly right into your ear with rage starting to bubble up in his voice. "Your father is a piece of scum who feeds on the working class and then robs them blind. You live like this, unquestioningly, and the rest of Germany suffers. Stuck-up bitch like you wouldn't even notice me if you saw me on the street, would you? Wouldn't even give me the time of day, but now you're at my mercy. That’s what you people need to learn: that you’re not gonna be on top forever.”

Suddenly you felt his hand cup your sex through your nightgown, and you choked on your gasp. “No—!” you started to shout, but his right hand covered your mouth as the left hastily pulled your pyjamas up and reached under them.

“Stop fucking squirming,” he grunted as he reached between your kicking legs and slid quickly up your thigh. “Mm, bet you’re hiding a pretty little cunt under this nightgown— hold still, baby, you’re gonna like this.”

Finally maneuvring his way into your panties, he abruptly shoved two gloved fingers inside of you, watching closely as you scrunched your face up tight in discomfort. He thrusted and twisted them around for a bit, carelessly stretching you open as you tried desperately to squirm away; it stung a bit, and the leather of the gloves was cool and awkwardly firm against your walls. For some reason, when he dropped his free hand from your face, you didn’t try to scream again— maybe because you knew no one who cared could hear you— and you just panted heavily instead.

As quickly as he’d pushed them in he pulled them out, bringing the glove up to his mouth to take it off with his teeth with a little growl before rubbing his bare hand over your pussy again. You whimpered when he slid his fingers inside you again, this time feeling the texture of his skin as he curled the pads of his fingers right against your spot. “Yeah?” he mumbled his taunt around the leather between his teeth before spitting the glove out onto the floor. “Fuck, so warm… you’re so wet already, dolly, has nobody been giving this pussy any attention?”

He stopped moving his fingers inside you to pull out and give your clit a few slaps, licking his lips when you cried out from the sharp sensation.

“Huh?” he reminded you to answer when you never gave a response.

“N-no,” you shook your head, finally, and he smiled like he was proud of himself.

“Yeah? You’re not a virgin, are you?”

You only looked down at the floor, blinking a few times as you focused on the teal carpet, and heard him laugh darkly.

“Oh, dolly, I might break you,” he warned roughly as he pushed your gown up to your waist, ignoring your sobbed pleas for him to stop. “We don’t usually take anything from the people we visit, but if I take your virginity maybe your people will finally get the message.”

“Please— you don’t have to do that,” you stammered, rushing through whatever you could think of to make him change his mind, “I won’t tell anyone you were here. You can have whatever you want, if I call them they can send you money—”

“You aren’t even fucking listening to me, we don’t want your expensive bullshit and we don’t want your dirty fucking money!” he corrected sternly, clutching your sleeves tighter and shaking you slightly with the intensity of his movements. “We just want you to be afraid, because the revolution is coming.”

But you were afraid of something much more imminent than a revolution.

“Get on the fucking bed,” he demanded, though you couldn’t do much else considering he was already roughly tossing you onto it, climbing on top of you and pinning you down when you started to crawl back instinctively. With his legs resting on yours and keeping you (somewhat) still, he only needed one hand to grab your shoulders while the other rushed to open his jeans.

Your eyes got a little wide when you saw his cock— before that, it was almost like some part of you didn’t really think he’d go through with his, but now you could see clearly that he was hard and ready… and big enough to make you question how that thing was even supposed to fit inside you.

He tore through your panties like they were paper; he lifted and spread your legs as he sat between them and, much to your humiliation, just stared down at your pussy for a moment. You’d never felt so exposed and it made you feel worse than ever. “Knew you’d have a pretty cunt,” he announced smugly, “can’t wait to see it all stretched out and covered in my come— I’m gonna ruin you, babydoll.”

You weakly struggled as he held your hips down with one hand and haphazardly stroked his cock a few times with the other, rubbing himself over your opening before pulling his hips back to spit right onto your clit. After spreading the improvised lubrication around with his head for a moment, he pushed down on it with his thumb to line up with your hole and, without any further warning, slid inside in one motion.

You bit down on your lip hard, and even that wasn’t enough to distract you from the sting; it felt like he was ripping you open, not to mention going so deep that you could feel him in your stomach.

He groaned loudly, head falling back for a moment as he started to thrust into you. “Fuck, I can tell you’re a virgin— it must be hurting you, huh?”

But the question was a bit redundant, since tears had already begun to stream down your temples and your fingers were clutching tightly onto the sheets beneath you; if they were any less expensive, they probably would’ve ripped.

“Maybe a little pain will be good for you,” he decided with a smirk, “I think a spoiled brat like you has been spared the rod a few too many times.”

It was definitely more than a ‘little’ pain, and it only seemed to sting more each time he pulled back and pushed in again— he wasn’t going very fast, yet, so that was one thing you could almost be thankful for. That said, he wasn’t very gentle either.

He hastily reached up under your nightgown to grope your breasts, quickly moving from one to the other as he squeezed them just a bit too hard. “You like how daddy plays with your tits, don’t you?” he grunted. “Say, ‘yes daddy.’”

“Y-yes, daddy,” you mumbled awkwardly; maybe being embarrassed to say that was superfluous considering everything else happening right now, but your face got warmer regardless.

A whimper almost caught in your throat when he pinched your hardened nipples, but it broke through when he seemingly-randomly gave a spank to your inner thigh.

He looked down at where your bodies were joined, where he was stretching you out with steady pumps of his cock that filled you to the brim, before reaching up to quickly pull his black sweater off over his head— a t-shirt underneath came off with it as his chest was exposed. He wasn’t unreasonably pale but he clearly wasn’t the type to get a ton of sun, and he had a thin scattering of dirty-blonde hair over some of it. It was sort of embarrassing, now, seeing how thin he was and yet he was still so much stronger than you.

"You're getting so wet, babydoll, look— you're making a mess on these expensive sheets," he grinned. And he wasn't lying; the sting of the stretch had slowly faded, replaced with a friction you actually couldn't help but enjoy. Each time he moved, he seemed to slide right over a spot that made you tighten up your legs so they wouldn't shake.

But, apparently, there was still plenty left that he could do to hurt you.

You cried out, so louder it echoed across the room, when he suddenly thrust into you hard and deep, hitting the very end of you as your body involuntarily jolted— he clapped his hand down over your mouth instantly, muffling your cries to near-silence as he set a punishingly fast pace out of nowhere. You couldn’t turn your head when you heard your bedroom door open, but you could glance to the side and see another burglar appear in the doorway, staring forward at the scene in front of him.

A new sense of shame burned inside you for being seen in such a way; oddly, it came with guilt, too, as if you were doing something wrong yourself, when really it was just something wrong being done to you. The man on top of you didn’t seem to feel much of either, though: he didn’t even slow down.

"Dude, what the fuck are you doing?" the other man asked his partner, face still hidden but his voice a mixture of bewildered and disgusted. "This isn't how we roll."

"Fuck off, I'm almost done," your attacker scoffed. You tried to use the distraction to fight him again— you swung your arms to try to scratch his face or push him away, but without even hesitating he simply stopped covering your mouth to pin your wrists at either side of your head.

"Is this really what you think the revolution is about?" the man in the door sneered. "Or does that even matter to you when you think you might get some ass? Jesus, I always knew you were a creep but this is…" he trailed off.

"Maybe you should take a turn with her, might fix your attitude," the man on top of you suggested. "She's real tight— trust me, you'll feel better."

"I promise that raping that girl isn't gonna make me feel better, Jan," he frowned.

"Fine, then just go so I can finish and I'll meet you guys in the yard," Jan— apparently that was his name— instructed.

"Don't go," you begged the man in the door, seeing the concern on his face— you could tell he wanted to stop Jan, maybe if you asked him to, he would.

"Shut up, bitch," Jan growled, correcting you with a slap to the face.

The man in the doorway just shook his head and sighed, stepping back into the hall and shutting the door behind him. You cried harder, more sure than ever that Jan was right when he said you were at his mercy; and he didn’t seem to have much.

He fucked you rough and fast, recklessly chasing his own pleasure with no regard for yours. Unfortunately, that didn’t mean that you didn’t feel any pleasure, though… it was building, in fact, sort of like when you touched yourself but so much stronger, and deeper, and threatening to overflow at any moment. “Oh fuck, you’re close,” he noticed with a tilted grin, “you love it so fucking much, huh? Wanna cream on daddy’s cock?”

You shook your head but he slapped you again, spinning your face to the side as he held both your wrists above your head in one hand and gripped your jaw with the other.

“Stop lying,” he growled, “I can feel it, I can feel your cunt getting tighter… you’re gonna come so fucking hard for me, aren’t you, babydoll? God, what a nasty fucking whore you are…”

He held your face to look straight ahead, up at where he hovered above you and bared his teeth in a snarl, before forcing your mouth open and spitting into it. You grimaced and tried even harder to squirm away but he quickly clamped his hand down over your nose and mouth so you couldn’t try to spit it back out again.

“C’mon, swallow it,” he instructed roughly, voice a bit strained from the force it took to hold you down. You could hardly breathe with his hand this way, and when you tilted your head back to try to get away from it, you accidentally swallowed his spit with a disgusted, muffled grunt. “There you go, good girl,” he purred as he watched your throat bob a bit involuntarily, “that’s it, I know you wanna come— say it! Say ‘daddy I wanna come.’”

He let go of your mouth and slapped you again before you even had a chance to hesitate. “D-daddy,” you whined, “I… I—”

“It’s not that fucking hard,” he hissed, “just say it, you dumb fucking slut!”

One more slap was apparently all you needed to just choke it out: “I wanna come, daddy!” you cried, back starting to arch as the pressure of holding back your release became too much to bear.

“Then fucking come,” he demanded, “come for me, baby, right fucking now.”

You tried to hold out just a moment longer, just to spite him, just so you wouldn’t obey him so easily… but it only took one rough thrust right into the end of you to make it all spill over. You came with a sob, shaking and jerking beneath him for a moment before a warmth spread through you; it started right where he filled you and spread everywhere until your mind was all foggy and your fingers started to go numb— or maybe that was just because of him pinning you down at the wrists.

Much to your disgust, you could hear how wet you had become with every stroke inside you, a sickening squelching noise that made him laugh as your face tingled with numbness and burned with shame all at once. “Oh fuck, that’s it,” he praised, “naughty little dolly, making a mess on daddy’s cock with that dirty fucking cunt of yours… I’m gonna cover it in my come, are you ready, baby? Ask daddy to come on your pussy, don’t make me hit you again.”

“Daddy, please,” you mumbled quietly, “come on my pussy…”

“I can’t hear you, babydoll, you need to speak up,” he mocked.

And you were just so exhausted and overwhelmed and his thrusts inside your sensitive walls were starting to get painful again— that was why you really meant it when you sobbed through your begging: “Please, daddy, come on my pussy!”

With one more panted moan he pulled out and only had to give his cock one blur of a stroke before white, warm come began to paint over your sore opening, your swollen clit, your bruised inner thighs. “Fuuucckkk…” he groaned under his breath as he watched himself coat you, and you caught a tinge of pink from your blood on his cock and hand as he slowed down to a stop. "Sheiße," he sighed, letting go of your wrists to sit up and close his eyes for a moment before looking down again at where you were limp and splayed out on your bed beneath him. “See? I’m getting reckless, I really shouldn’t be leaving evidence…”

Even without that, you knew his name and face, but apparently he was focusing on the copious amounts of DNA he’d just left on you.

“I suppose it won’t be a problem, because you’re not going to tell anyone,” he posited, leaning down slightly to hover over you as you swallowed around the rock that had suddenly formed in your throat. “You know how I know you won’t?”

You weakly shook your head, already terrified to imagine what the answer to that question was going to be. Of course, your first assumption was that he was going to kill you, or threaten to do so if you involved the police. He knew where you lived, he could threaten your family, too: the thought made your skin crawl as he leaned down further to whisper right against your ear as you instinctively turned your face away from him.

“Because if you tell someone that I raped you,” he finally continued, “then you’ll also have to tell them that you liked it.”

Speaking right against your ear, it took him no effort at all to stick his tongue out and lick you right on it, making you squeal with fear and disgust.

He quickly hopped off the bed and recollected himself, stuffing his softening and blood-stained cock back into his pants before gathering his discarded clothes from the floor. "Your folks won't be home for two more nights, right? I should come visit you again," he winked when he spared a glance at you. “Now get some rest, baby, you deserve it. Don’t worry, I’ll lock the front door behind me when we leave… wouldn’t want anybody unsavory getting in, now would we?”

[queen-haq]

Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 9

Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 9

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Rating: R for language.

Words: ~2000 words.

Summary: You’ve been sleeping with Billy Russo for a few months now. Knowing his aversion to emotional commitments, you’re satisfied with your clandestine arrangement until you catch him having dinner with Dinah Madani one night. Then it finally dawns on you. It’s not that he doesn’t want to commit, he just doesn’t want to commit to *you*.

Billy may think he knows you, but he has no idea what he’s just lost...

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5   Part 6   Part 7   Part 8

Part 9

The smile on your face was stiff and insincere as Marcus Boyd walked you back to your car. As much as you loathed the asshole, you needed him and that meant paying him a personal visit in his home in Connecticut. He was a very successful defense lawyer, on his way to becoming a managing partner in a prestigious New York law firm in a few years. Because of his career, he had access to many seedy characters which is what you were here to leverage. You needed an unregistered gun, and he had connections who could provide you one. If that meant putting up with him for an hour, you were willing to do it.

“Y/N,” he said with a slick smile, standing next to you as you unlocked your car door. “It was wonderful to see you again.”

“No, it wasn’t,” you replied. “It never is. But we do what we have to, right?”

His eyes narrowed, shifting to something menacing. “I forgot how tactless you can be.”

You gave him a mocking smile. “Here’s hoping you won’t have to see me again soon.”

“Next time you need something, don’t come to me,” he warned.

“Same goes for you.” You leveled him with a cold look. “When can I expect a call?”

“A few days.”

“Fine.” You got into your car and shut the door, feeling relieved at no longer being around the slimy bastard.

Marcus was someone you met at college in your first year. He was a rich entitled sophomore, about to flunk out. You were good at hacking into things, and had managed to get your hands on a few exams Marcus desperately needed to pass. That was the beginning of your partnership with him. You helped him graduate and he paid you a lot of money in return. Thanks to him and his friends, you were able to get your degree with minimal student loans. Although the two of you despised each other, the threat of mutual destruction meant you trusted him to keep your search for a registered gun to himself and he trusted you not to spill his secrets.

You started driving back into the city, your mind focused on the road ahead when your phone pinged. You glanced down. An unknown number was calling you. If it was like the other anonymous calls you received, they would call you a fucking bitch as soon as you picked up and hang up on you. You had no doubt that it was Adam calling, considering the calls started after he was released, which only proved how unhinged he was. A smarter man would have been on his best behaviour when out on bail but he was so filled with rage he didn’t even bother to temper his actions. You had already reached out to the prosecutor and informed them of the calls, but you doubted it would lead to anything. Most likely Adam was using disposable phones, which meant there was no direct proof he was the one making the calls. You were scared, of course you were, which was why you’d reached out to Marcus even though you didn’t like the prick. It’s not like you could rely on Trevor, the bodyguard Roger had assigned to keep you safe. He was lazy and not very bright, and even if he was good at what he did Valiant wouldn’t be paying for your protection indefinitely. All of that meant you had to take this matter into your own hands. It wasn’t going to be easy, but it was the only way for you to feel safe again.

Your thoughts turned to Billy, something you actively tried to avoid, but there wasn’t anything else to distract your mind away from him. It had been a week since you blocked him, and as much as you hated to admit it, you missed him. He’d been a part of your life for almost a year and you really enjoyed his company before things got messy between you two. If you hadn’t developed feelings for him and then caught him on a date with Dinah Madani, you guys would probably still be sleeping together – but you did, and seeing him with someone like her made it crystal clear his lack of feelings for you. The truth hurt like hell, but you’d get over it. You were a realist after all. You knew he was out of your league and there was nothing you could do to make Billy want you.

The speaker on your car piped up with a message notification. It was a text from Davina, reminding you of the girls night out planned for tomorrow night. It was a mutual friend’s birthday and the plan was for all of you to go to a new club that recently opened. You were looking forward to it, mostly as it would keep your mind off Adam but also because you were hoping to go out and meet someone new. No doubt Billy had already found someone else to fill your spot on his weekly rotation but you weren’t built like him and needed time to process your lingering feelings. You still weren’t over him, but you were ready to move on.

Now you just needed to get back home and come up with a reason as to how you lost your bodyguard in case Roger asked. Somehow, though, you doubted Trevor would willingly tell Roger about you disappearing for a few hours so you weren’t too worried. No one knew about your connection with Marcus and you intended to keep it that way.

***

The next evening you, Davina, and a few others were at Pravda, a new club downtown, to celebrate your friend Kiran’s birthday. You were wearing a low-cut black jumpsuit paired with silver stilettos, while your lips were painted maroon. Choosing to keep focus on the lips, you had ensured the rest of your make-up was light and dewy which went well with your straightened hair. It had taken a lot of double-sided tape to make sure your breasts were in check in your outfit but it was worth the effort. You felt like a proper goddess tonight, surrounded by your beautiful friends at a private table in the VIP lounge.

An hour later you were buzzed, giggling and laughing as you and a few others headed back to the private booth from the dance floor. After dancing up a storm, you guys were all parched and desperate for a drink. Davina was holding your hand as she led you through the crowds but you knew something was wrong when she stopped unexpectedly. You thought you heard her swear but you couldn’t be sure due to the loud music.

“What’s-” The words died in your mouth when you realized what Davina was staring at. Billy fucking Russo, sitting at your table, chatting it up with Kiran who was sitting next to him. The moment you saw them, you felt red-hot anger flood over you. While Kiran was a good friend, she wasn’t someone you confided in. She had no idea you’d been sleeping with Billy so you didn’t blame her for flirting with him. But Billy, god you hated him! There was no way his showing up at the same club as you was a co-incidence, which meant he was purposely here to flirt with your friends. To hurt you.

“Want to leave?” Davina asked, looking at you with concern.

“No, it’s fine,” you replied in a clipped tone.

“Are you sure?”

“He’s here because he wants to piss me off.”

“I thought you said he was cool about the break-up.”

You shrugged your shoulders. “Thought he was.”

“Doesn’t seem like it.”

You didn’t answer, instead taking the lead to walk past her. You returned to your seat across from where he and Kiran were sitting. Davina came to sit beside you. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach as his molten eyes trailed down to your breasts, lingering on you. Dressed in a simple grey t-shirt, designer no doubt, and a pair of black trousers and open leather jacket, he looked absolutely beautiful with his perfectly styled hair and trimmed beard.

“Hey guys, this is Billy,” Kiran greeted, eyeing him appreciatively. “He ordered us more champagne. Isn’t that so nice of him?”

On the table in front of you was an expensive bottle, chilling in ice. You quirked your eyebrow. Apparently Billy was in the mood to splurge on your friends. “That’s nice of him,” you remarked noncommittally.

“Billy, this is Davina and Y/N,” Kiran said.

His eyes were locked with yours, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Oh, I know Y/N very well.”

Kiran turned to look at you. “You do?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “Through work.”

Billy leaned forward, his smoldering gaze holding you hostage. “Y/N and I are very good friends.”

“Acquaintances,” you corrected.

As if sensing the tension in the air, Kiran pulled away from Billy. Meanwhile, he picked up the bottle of champagne and started pouring the liquid in the empty glasses in front of him. “You’re giving Kiran the wrong idea about us, Y/N. She might think you don’t like me very much.”

“She’d be right,” you snarked, ignoring the glass of champagne he held out for you.

“I’ll take that,” Davina replied, snatching the glass from his hands.

Your friends were suddenly talking all at once but all you could focus on was Billy’s heated gaze on you. With every second that passed his eyes on you seemed to grow more wanton and lustful, and desire coursed through your blood at how he looked at you. You wanted him so badly you cold feel yourself getting wet, and you realized you needed to get out of there right away.

“I’m going to get a drink,” you whispered in Davina’s ear, making sure Billy didn’t hear you.

“Want me to come with you?”

“No. I’ll be fine.” You stood up quickly and made your way out of there, keenly aware of Billy’s eyes boring into your back.

Few minutes later you were sitting at one of the corner bar downstairs. This floor had a different ambience than the club upstairs, which you appreciated. The music wasn’t as loud and you found yourself enjoying the lounge vibe. It wasn’t long before someone crept up next to you at the bar and you turned to find a familiar face smiling back at you.

His name was Avi and you’d run into him a few times at the conferences you’d gone to. Broad-shouldered and husky, you’d always found him attractive in an adorable way.

“You just look…” he gave you a shy smile. “Wow.”

Seeing his reaction to you, you smiled. “Thank you.”

“I’ve always wanted to approach you but I didn’t want to come across as a creep, you know?” he explained. “You can also be very intimidating.”

That made you laugh. “I doubt that.”

As Avi and you continued to talk, you couldn’t help but enjoy how he was gawking at you. You didn’t fit society’s mould for what was considered beautiful, so all of your past flings were a result of the guys getting to know you and finding you hot because of your personality. It was rare when a guy you were attracted to was also into you right away but that seemed to be the case with Avi. You didn’t have to charm or work for him to find you hot. Instead, he was genuinely enamored with how you looked which was refreshing.

His phone rang with a text notification. Scanning through the message, he flashed you an apologetic glance. “Shit. I have to go.”

Disappointed, you pouted your lips. “That’s too bad.”

“Would you want to go out sometime?” he asked shyly.

“I’d like that.” You reached for your phone and scrolled through to the contacts app to add his name before handing the phone to him. “Add your number.”

After you said your goodbyes, you ordered your third gin and tonic and were enjoying your drink at the bar when someone grazed up against you. Seated on a high bar stool, you were expecting Davina to have come looking for you. Instead, you found Billy sidling up to you. He looked pissed off and angrier than you’d ever seen him.  

“Give me your phone,” he barked.

“Go to hell.”

Unexpectedly he gripped your stool and pulled you closer, throwing you off so you were forced to hold on to him for regain your balance. He perched his foot up on the bottom ledge of the stool, closing you in fully. “Unblock me now.”

‘Go fuck yourself.”

His dark eyes seemed to suddenly grow even darker, more monster than human. “Who was that guy you were talking to?”

“My future boyfriend.”

Billy’s lips curved into a sneer. “Not if he knows what’s good for him.”

“Why don’t you go back to flirting with my friend and leave me the fuck alone?”

“She was flirting. I wasn’t.”

“I don’t care. Go sleep with whoever you want, and I’ll do the same.”

Billy simply stared at you for a beat, his jaw clenched. “You’re not fucking anyone else.”

Sitting up straight, you leveled him with a hostile look. “I just met someone who was nice, sweet, and really fucking cute. And he wasn’t an asshole like you. Trust me, I will fuck him. I might even suck him off here tonight if he plays his cards right. And there isn’t a single thing you can do to stop that.”

He dipped his head towards you, leaning in closer so you were the only one who could hear him. His voice may have been flat, but his words were laced with cold fury when he spoke next. “If he touches you, he’s dead. I’ll start with his hands. I’ll break his fingers one by one for daring to touch you. Next I’ll cut off his dick, his balls, other parts of him slowly, carefully, so he feels every inch of the excruciating pain I’ll put him through. I’ll fill him with adrenaline so he doesn’t pass out from the pain. I’ll gouge out his eyes last because he needs to see that I’m the one who turned him into a mutilated lump of flesh. And then maybe, if I’m feeling nice, I might slit his throat to end his suffering.” His eyes never leaving yours, he reached for your drink at the bar and chugged it.

“You’re a fucking psychopath,” you said, your throat suddenly parched. Your heart was beating rapidly, your stomach coiled into knots. Fear should have flooded over you -  it didn’t. Instead, you were aroused.

“No one takes what’s mine.”

“I’m not your fucking possession. You don’t own me.” You closed your eyes, taking deep breaths as your emotions – and the walls – started to all swirl together. Like always, just when you thought he might have cared enough to admit he was jealous, he showed his true colours. Billy’s anger had nothing to do with his feelings for you. Rather, it was about his ego. Shit. You felt dizzy, the drinks had started to hit you. “Why don’t you go bother Dinah and her new man? Didn’t you say she was seeing someone else? Go pull your psychopath routine on them.”

He tucked his finger under your chin, lifting your face up to meet his gaze again. The emotions in his eyes played havoc with your senses as he pressed in closer, so close you could feel his warm breath on your skin.

“I don’t care who Dinah dates or fucks.”

The air was thick with tension.  It felt as if there was no one else in the bar but you and Billy, his one hand under your chin, the other pressed against the small of your back. You felt heady and light-headed with anticipation and desire, but you were also angry. Angry that you still wanted him, that he wouldn’t give you space to get over him. “Why can’t you leave me alone?”

His fingers gripped the side of your face, and you exhaled a sharp breath when he grazed your forehead with his. Temples touching, his eyes held you transfixed in place.  “Because you’re mine.” The possessiveness in his voice was unsettling, but it was the way he was staring at you – as if he could see right through to your core – that made your stomach flip-flop. “Mine.” His thumb swiped along your bottom lip, as if marking you as his. “And I’m yours.”

Billy was a player, an asshole, and there was comfort in that because it meant you knew where you stood with him, but now he was defying expectations, crossing the boundaries you’d carefully set for yourself, and you weren’t ready for that. None of that mattered, however, because you were suddenly feeling really, really sick.  “I have to go,” you mumbled. The room was spinning as you tried to jump off the chair but your knees almost gave way. Billy was there to catch you in his arms, holding you up.

“Woah, you okay?”

You pushed him off and ran.

Part 10

A/N - As always, thank you for the support, the feedback, the likes/reblogs, and the asks. I’m stoked to keep writing this because of you guys. Please let me know your thoughts on the chapter!

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