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Last week I sent out 200 postcards to progressive voters in North Carolina through the Postcards to Swing States initiative by the Progressive Turnout Project.
It was fun! And easy!
They sent me 200 blank postcards, a list of names and addresses, and a page of instructions including 3 prewritten messages I could use.
I just had to write and address the postcards, get stamps, and stick them in the mailbox.
10/10 would do it again.
#the perfect way to participate#I just can't. do door to door or phone calls#not capable of that at this point in my life#this program is probably meant to be done as a group considering the minimum number of postcards is 200 lmao#but I did it by myself just fine#in four days no less. even though I had about two months ..........#I dropped these in the mailbox and then immediately realized that I would not be getting any follow up 😩#well. hope it did something. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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SL Rag spoilers below
just another Haein ramble post don mind me.
Look man I love Haein as much as the next person but I feel like, even with the new content of her coming out (from SL Rag to Arise to the anime) she's still lacking in something of her character. And, as I began to look more into her I kinda saw that the main culprit of her characterization is that: She is perfect.
Too perfect, I mean she holds no flaws or anything that can set her aside from the rest (and no being an s rank and female doesn't automatically make her different), and even if she does she doesnt hold them to the extent that other characters might have them, or she just has the same thoughts as anyone else. Her personality as well never clashes with the other hunters or is too different, especially from Jinwoo-- and okay yeah that's expected bc trophy wife trope and all that– and in a sense I think this might derive from the fact that everyone wants her to still be stuck into this mold of ��perfect wife + perfect mother” that doesn't have the same level of flaws as the rest.
She wants a comfortable life, like Jinwoo, she trains constantly, like Chiyeol, she is not burdened by trauma unlike Juhee who leaves the story or Jinah who actively tries to stop his brother at one point from entering dungeons (and stopping the MC? Clashing due to real life precautions and worries? And expanding on that? No sir we don't do that). She is strong but not too strong to be a threat (in their first meeting maybe but then Jinwoo just levels up in the castle and then bam stronger than her again) just like… yeah everyone else lol. She fights Jinwoo at one point but it's not due to some difference in thinking or to stop him from something, rather Haein just wants to spend time with him. And yeah despite wanting a comfortable life, or so told so far, she is still placed in the spotlight during her idol years, and has to deal with the most supernatural shit going on in her life constantly. She might be strong but she is still a damsel in distress, and her olympic background… I mean it's there.
I like the implication that she might have been stressed about appearing perfect during her idol life, especially pressured to do great by the adults around her just as she was pressured to be a maintainer of peace when she was an S rank (friend’s death and all), but that… doesn't get anywhere, and I admit Haein hinted to being stressed was only in the date scene with Jinwoo, the rest was expanded by Arise and Rag, still, still its not treated as anything else except ‘oh she is so camery shy’ and ‘oh she just wants a normal life being a normal wife’ (mind you Jinwoo is there as well but he even he doesn't see a problem with that except for when the cameras are pointed at him to which he just makes all the photos look black) and not, idk, dwell on the amount of pressure she would have been faced in since she was a child, the failure of not meeting those expectations in her past life and wishing to meet them when she was given the chance to become an s rank hunter, or how all of that constant training might have affected her life and social ties with other children who werent as talented as her. Or maybe how Haein has had to constantly keep people at a distance due to her nose problems, plus her almost never appearing in the news (so it was said during her hunter years, bc she had signed a contract with Jongin for this to not happen i think) leading everyone to not get to know her as well as the rest of the other hunters who were practically seen as celebrities.
No? None of that? Not even tackling the fact that olympic athletes tend to suffer from burnout, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, or how traumatic the double dungeon must have been since it was the first time Haein, an S rank, had ever come so close to dying (as far as we know in the og sl), and it cant be backed away with saying ‘oh that would be too complex for the story!’ when we’ve seen Haein trying to challenge her fears against Beru during the Ahjin guild arc.
It's also not needed for her to be so overly complex either, I was listing examples out of the many routes in which her story could be fleshed out more. She can have a small healing moment to herself or slowly unwrap the tolls of pressure she’s been under, and that would be enough, because tbh, she does deserve some time to breathe, as a character, as herself. For the most part she’s never alone, in every scene we see other she either is with someone (mostly a guy) or thinking about someone (90% Jinwoo), so seeing her outside of anyone’s interaction, seeing her go on about her daily life or her daily struggles, or seeing how Haein fixes her own situations without the reliance on others, that I think, would be more needed than ‘just more Haein scenes’
Arise has one scene which I like, her talking with Chiyeol after his double dungeon incident. Both characters definitely needed something like that in my part, 1) because it highlights Chiyeols maturity over the certain years he has been as a hunter, and 2) because it emphasizes Haein’s relationship with her teacher and how she’s not only learning to be skilled but also the pain that comes with losing your comrades afterwards.
And in Rag, though I find it way too absurd to the point that its funny that Haein has managed to protect an entire village, on her own, for the past 5 years, with daggers, in her 40s, no experience whatsoever in a fight unless it was also transferred alongside her memories, and also had no qualms in protecting the race of beasts that had once pose such a level of danger Jinwoo himself rewinded time itself— I do like her interactions with Sirka, and it posses such an interesting dynamic to see considering she is one of the few humans who has managed to maintain a connection and lived alongside intelligent magic beasts like he elves (Suho being the other which is… interesting actually when you think about it considering Jinwoo is somewhat yes and not on the list).
Again, she is so interesting in her own right, but the thing is that we never see her act alone or be solely in the spotlight, and don't get me wrong, this also goes from the other characters too. But with her I feel like too much of what she could be or experienced is brushed off too quickly or not given enough time to expand.
So anyways, I will like to see where she might go off from here foward, especially in rag, and the anime.
#Haein they could never make me hate you more than I already hated you in the past lol.#oof this post just brought back my anxiety over whenever or not Haein had been a willing participant in marrying jinwoo#cuz on one hand yah she loves him with all his heart in both timelines and jinwoo is perfect man TM so he would never do something bad to#her or hurt her#but on the other#if you had been in love with your normal. albeit mysterious friend since you were 13 only to find out years later that he was actually an#eldrich god with unphantomable powers that wrapped literal space and time. and had come from a different future and#met you in your past life where you were once a supercool hunter (but not now) would you or would you not be even a LITTLE bit scared of#what he might do you to you if you suddendly rejected him or angered him in the slightest?#and also we have to grasp the fact that she has never known Jinwoo the same way the reader has.#'oh but her powers came back after the kiss!' buddy.... solo leveling is filled with so many implications and not enough answers#solo leveling#cha haein#on the constant struggle of '''I like Haein as she is and as she is being presented in all forms of SL media!!''' and#'''I need to see her be a mess just once'''#solo leveling ragnarok#solo leveling ragnarok spoilers#solo leveling arise spoilers
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the fact that nerubians have really poor eyesight and rely entirely on smell to tell non-nerubian entities apart is rly neat and goes a long way to explaining how players are able to traipse around the city of threads w/o instantly being mobbed. most spiders IRL have pretty poor eyesight and use a combo of touch, taste, and smell to find their way around the world, w jumping spiders and to a lesser extent ogre-faced spiders being exceptions.
it also doubly makes sense bc they live underground w nothing in the way of overwhelming bright lights. there's no need for them to have eyesight on the level of surface-dwelling sapients
w how ascended are specifically noted to not only be unable to emit pheromones consistently, if at all, but can't even really sense them at all anymore, i wouldn't be surprised if one of the "boons" given to ascended is that they have much better eyesight.
not THAT much better obv bc then they'd immediately aggro from much farther away than they actually do in-game, but enough that if you get close they can tell you're not supposed to be there
#im like. 99% sure that ogre-faced and assassin spiders specifically were used as references when designing nerubians#the way their faces/heads are structured is way too similar to deinopidae to be a coincidence#and ofc assassin spiders were referenced for the 'neck'#the divide between ascended and trueborn is rly fascinating also#ascended being pushed as this perfected form but then being unable to actually participate in their own culture#the ascended you talk to during the puppeteer questline being very haughty and seeing themselves as 'better' almost coming across as like#a defense mechanism to protect their own hurt feelings over the fact that they've become this alien 'other'#in spite of how ansurek pushes their 'perfection'
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i like bad special effects. meaning not just old and outdated (which in a lot of cases were actually groundbreaking for their time, but i digress) but also low-budget or rushed or just kinda corny and poorly executed. i think it adds charm where a lot of more polished productions are lacking.
#i don't think this is a particularly hot take on this website#i think a lot of us here also appreciate special effects that are either outdated but were brilliant at the time#or are just flat-out bad by any standard but still enjoyable in a campy way#but like. when the untamed was popular on here i saw a lot of people saying like 'just ignore the bad special effects lol'#when personally i ADORED the special effects in that show#up to and including the shitty animatronic dog lmao#i think they really added something to the atmosphere and the melodrama of it all#and slicker special effects would've made it a worse show.#feels a bit more like you're watching a stage play if you can peek around the curtain in this way#which is very fitting for the sort of show it is! it's very theatrical and dramatic and everything is a big fucking deal!#and you have to make the active choice to suspend your disbelief and get invested#in the idea that this flagrantly fake dog puppet is scary#it's sort of like i'm being asked to collaborate in the story i guess?#if the sfx isn't perfect then my conscious participation is necessary to make it land#so the overall result feels more personal and meaningful because i had to commit to it
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also uh im kind of not thinking about it much because its insane. but if everything goes right (and i mean a considerable amount of things that probably wont go as planned) but if they DO... i will have a major surgery in like two weeks
#vertical sleeve gastrectomy to be exact insert nerd emoji here#i might document a lot of whats going on with it and even take some videos honestly#not to share here other than some oversharing text posts about probably constipation LMAO#but like no one shares whats it like to be mentally ill and go thru vsg and like the process and not many people as young as me get it#feels weird calling myself young on the chronically 13 year old website#but anyone that does post about it posts for like a year and then falls off the face of the earth#genuinely there are so many youtubers that start talking about this stuff#then you find their channel three years deserted and its like man.#i sure hope this means you found better ways to spend your time#and like okay time to get sappy and corny as hell in the notes so go ahead and skip this part idk who even reads my notes hello#but basically everyones that gets this shit is like you gotta find your why#and most of them have kids or like a husband or plans to travel the world or do better at their job#and none of those things really apply to me#i kind of have the perfect storm for being fat#i dont do anything work wise that encourages any kind of movement#im chronically afraid of planes and i cant afford that shit anyways rn#also not very good at romance LOL and never want kids and my entire family is also fat barring my brother#thats not to absolve myself of any of the blame for this shit either like i know i put myself in this situation#i just think like wow my life is pretty much perfect for staying fat but i DONT WANT THAT#I want the highlight of my week to be more than eating takeout man#i want to live life instead of meal to meal to something better#idk what yet maybe jewelery piece to jewelery piece#i could do some serious kandi making while im down for the count#but i dunno man my therapist tells me that in order to feel like a person and not get tired of life i have to do people things and#participate in life yknow?#and its hard to do things like go to the gym talk to people explore fashion styles when i have this overloomingness of being fat#so i guess that could be my why? like i want to experience more of life#i want to be able to walk in a mall and look at all the stores. i want to walk in a mall period. cause it fucking hurts the way i am now#thats all to say the actual “why” that i have is Goddamn it i want to be able to jump from a swing#and not break my fucking ankles
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you ever had a class with that one person who's always sleeping, not paying attention, never in class but they are still somehow passing with (almost) flying colors? teacher calls on them while they sleep in class to have a 'gotcha' moment?? but they still answer the question flawlessly???
thats him.
#puyo puyo#puyo klug#puyo lidelle#puyo amitie#puyo sig#now i just gotta do raffina to complete the fever gang!#pretty simple design since i figured he'd value comfort over being prim now#but!! he still has a (technically) perfect record in school! even homework! he is still a very proud student after all#klug is still a klugsten#tho his participation grade is //wiggles hand//#also its been forever since i tried the puyo/20th/quest style i forgot how to do it#oh but not to reduce Sig to just sleeping! i know he's more than that#its just i was trying to make klug laid back but still basically smart#and was reminded of a type of kid back in class (i was said kid in elem school)#(after elem school? couldnt be me i got so lost lol)#anyway i thought it would be funny#and i gave Lidelle klugs smartass-ness but in a more fake it till you make it way#she challenges klug cause he seemed like easy pickings but he Was Not(tm)
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WHY DID NOONE TELL ME MERMAY WAS TOMORROW I HAVE NOTHING PLANNED
#im gna be LATE!!!!!!!!!#2024 the year of Fandom Event Participation#cmon i atleast want to do like. a day#this is the perfect time to break out the old merfolk au i planned for alenoah week first encounter#no way im doing every day but still i wanna do One#kjwrites#kijorambles
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i ended up having a like. 30 minute conversation with some of those "freedom convoy" people. was at the bus stop. they were wearing trump hats. i ended up roped into the conversation because i was so taken aback at seeing one in public i was just. staring at it. ive never felt more depressed about someone elses life and beliefs than when i talked to them.
#they fucking. tokd me about the litterboxes in schools for kids identifying as cats and i had to#break it to them that that wasnt true and explained that. also explained. what its like yo be autistic. how i find it joyful#and also discussed how they believe trump has been spoken to by god and chosen to lead and how they arent christians or catholics like they#used to be but instead talk directly to him and have him inside them#and also apparently how 15 minute cities in china are used to keep people imprisoned where they are#and we arent a democracy anymore. which was so funny considering. they are participating for a party#running in the election#i gave them my perspective on being transgender and gay and watched them have like. 3 or 4 ''are we the baddies'' moments#explained what puberty blockers actually do. that surgery is paid out of peoples own pockets. that we literally only have#one doctor who can perform these surgeries and hes abt to retire#and at the end of the convo they were like ''youre so pleasant. youre really smart young lady'' and i was like ''ty? i just. read a lot'#god i hope they learned. something. or i changed some opinion. they seemed to have a more positive view of autistic people at least#i just like. fuck dude. these fuckin right wing grifters are ruining these peoples lives.#the lady has been unemployeed since covid cos she got sucked into this antivax stuff and now theyre both financially unstable#perfect targets for tamaki and the freedoms people who were known for squeezing money out of people through bogus religious stuff#those two have been twisted into just. hateful and scared and are saying the most. insane shit and they dont even realize it.#and the worst part of it was the amount of young people there. so many people my age just deluded into this nonsense.#and kids JESUS CHRIST so many kids holding signs about ''protecting the kiwi way of life'' like bro every single thing#you are getting upset about an imported culture war. you arent threatened by this shit.#youve latched onto american culture war stuff because youre insecure in your whiteness and existence in a colonial country#its so fucking evil.
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all of the previously untranslated "dear society" suddenly got uploaded to mangakakalot a couple weeks ago out of no where so yes i DID read it and yes i DID cry doing so. several times in fact. i really liked it.
#(these tags contain spoilers)#a lot of the visuals were genuinely so cool too#like the way metaphorical immediacy was used to symbolize emotions was just perfect#i especially loved this one scene in the early chapters where hanakos telling kanesho who she likes#and is drawn as if shes stabbing him in the chest#and there isnt a cut back to ''reality'' for it- its fully depicted as if thats whats going on even though the audience clearly#just a metaphor#sometimes it was literally what was going on top of being a metaphor though. like when he just like#casually took out his old school uniform and burned it in some random ladys fire#the timeskip was also funny bc he was so ''damn. i hate society but i participate in it. curious.''#also i like how hanako wasnt the wife foreshadowed at the start#like his initial crush on here was obvs pretty dependent but not in an unusual way for young teens lol#but it shows that that doesnt really matter passed highschool. like he said himself his world grew#i also really liked mizuho he was just a really cool guy#i fully expected him to be a bait and switch douchebag but he really wasnt. he was just cool and supportive#even when he got dumped! like#kanesho apologizing bc he likes girls and cant force himself to be in a relationship w a guy#(and mizuho at the time interpreters this to mean hes a lesbian)#his response is just. you have nothing to apologize for....#ALSO a big fan of kino he was just such a great mentor for kanesho#obviously w different experiences like kino says. hes a gay man and kanesho is a trans guy so its different#but theres overlap and solidarity. they were both unfairly ostracized at school and kino was such a great support bc hes BEEN THERE#when he graduates and leaves his uniform for kanesho w the note ''now its your turn''#dude. unreal. screaming crying throwuing up#loved the school nurse too she was just so supportive and nice. thank you school nurse for being cool. sorry i forgor your name
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the day that fandom realizes that pointing out writing choices, the negative effects those choices have on other characters, and the less-than-kind actions of a character, aren't a personal attack on you, a call to arms for everyone to hate this character, or even a hate post in and of itself is the day that we will finally know at least a crumb of Peace in these e-streets 🤦♂️
#we can point out tht the narrative has made it so tht a) will brought forth his self-fulfilling prophecy b) mike comes off like an ass even#when he's right and c) that el has been powerless for some actions in the story and an active participant for others#you won't explode and die from acknowledging every part of the story presented to you not just the ones that paint your fave in a kind#light lol. and acknowledging ur fave's wrongs or actions doesn't make u a hater#nor does it make this character bad evil mean or irredeemable#good characters (in my opinion) are nuanced and capable of good and bad and the in-between#the byIer fandom is such a culture shock for me the way tht it can be so like . rigid n sanitized n set in its own way sometimes abt#certain things. n tht isnt unique to us obviously but im used to being in fandoms where the 'ugly' is embraced#and here it's like NOPE 🙅♂️ NO NUANCE NO GRAY AREA EVERYONE IS PERFECT KIND GOOD N FAULTLESS 100% OF THE TIME N EVERYTHING#IN THE STORY IS EQUAL AND THE SAME AND THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE IN ANYTHING EVER N UR A SCUMBAG IF U POINT TO THE CANON SCENES#THAT SAY OTHERWISE 🔨🔫⛔️🚫👎🔇🚮🗑#like ..... ok then. ... i gues. .s...#makes me wonder how u can appreciate the show in earnest if ur not acknowledging wht it shows u but ok . .. .
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the mortifying ordeal of today being a potluck day.
#purrs#delete later#it’s been 3.5 years since i last was at one and somehow it’s exactly as miserable as it was before if not worse. also why am i being fucking#guilt tripped into doing this and participating in it. im fucking 24 years old. i should get to choose how to spend my time. i should not be#a prop to make my mom look good for running the perfect vegan family. like it sounds like a cartoon but i don’t fucking care about being#vegan and i never did. i just got scared into it and i fucking resent being a prop put on display and unable to do what i want because i#have all this shit in my head about what’s healthy and what’s not and what will make my mom and her community ashamed of me. i fucking hate#these potlucks i hate having to be fake nice to the people who go to them who are so annoying and revolting and i hate being fucking TWENTY#FOUR and forced into doing things i don’t want to do because im afraid of my mom and afraid of myself. my weekends are precious. my choices#are precious. i am not a child anymore. i do not exist to make her look good or feel better about herself. my thoughts and choices are my#own and i own them. i do not want to have anything to do with this and i never did. people are going to get all in my face and im going to h#have to act like a kid again and make myself small and it’s so EMBARRASSING i am an adult!!!!!! im a late bloomer but im an adult. and i get#to choose my life and i get to rebel if i want to. but im not brave enough and we have to go in an hour 30. fucking hellllll#like the fact that my family hosts these. and it’s seen as a FAMILY thing when it’s just my mom. 💀💀💀💀 like please let me have my own life a#and interests and spend my time the way i want to. lol#food#ask to tag
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My algebra professor regularly makes typos in her notes that make problems impossible to solve, but I can't really hold it against her because in direct violation of university policy she's letting me skip all the lectures and take all the exams and quizzes unsupervised in a hallway after work hours
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i think more general music classes should include punk rock / metal as a genre
#ari opinion hour#tbh incinerate by the garages would be pretty damn close to perfect for this compositionally#(it would be EXTREMELY easy to teach kids (part of) the gang vox and have them participate that way)#(and itd also be fantastic for a response activity both movement based and otherwise)#BUT in practice i dont think id ever use it just bc theres a swear word in it (shit) which is a HUGE no for the age groups itd work best fo#maybe i could use it? id just have to stay away from the name and if rain wanted credit for using it in my lesson plan i wouldnt do it then#just cause if its traceable to parents.... 😬😬😬😬#but like i wouldnt use the end i dont think bc like i COULD have kids scream but itd be REALLY hard to rein them back in after that lol#and thats the part with the swear word so#it could work potentially?#have kids move around the room how the music sounds to them and have them do the 'whoa-oh's and the 'yeah?!'s#idk though!#teaching tag
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diary entry bc it got long
you know, not to be dramatic but im kind of emotional about not finding gifs of that movie readily available but finding a TON of posts about how Andrew was so good in it/filmographies of him/screencaps of him in this when he didn't win an Oscar for this and Jessica did. Like I know how this site works I know search sucks and this is already out of date so idk what the perception was when it came out or what we were all watching at the time, and i know how the world works you know, idk what I expected. But i guess because the first time i heard of this story was already in a frame of, this is what they did to Tammy Faye, this is how they treated her and then this is what he did and this is how they treated him, i already came into the movie knowing she's special to me, like her story is what i wanted to hear and that's what i got but a lot of other people i guess never wanted to hear her story in the first place. It's just kinda ironic, just kinda sad because of course it would repeat itself in one way or another.
#like of course you didn't want to hear about her#what was i thinking#just seeing the movie as a product and as just a milestone in their careers is so sobering#of course it's not a perfect movie i especially resented the lack of participation of her kids and the way we hear Jessica Hahn's name i#think twice? at most? she and Tammy's kids i feel deserve better ofc but many things can be true at once and i just#don't know. im not appreciating this parallel is all#i hope many people continue watching this movie and getting her story and not just. performances#although#im missing the documentary i think I'll watch it tomorrow. maybe tomorrow ill think the movie's shit in comparison. well see#diary entry
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'Locklands' was an interesting conclusion to this fantasy trilogy, but also just not a heist novel in the same way the first two were - this is more of a thriller about magical transhumanism and family trauma, which is fun, but also I was hoping for it to somehow give us 'one last big score' in a way that this didn't. (Also, I was kind of disappointed in the epilogue, in the way that is more about my problems with failures of transhumanism than anything to do with fantasy or heists…) Anway, really can't recommend starting here because so much of this is about wrapping up plots and paying off revelations from the earlier books, but if you like fantasy heists, 'logical' and interlocking magics, or canonical lesbians going through it, 'Foundryside' is a good book, and it'll get you here eventually. :)
#books#reading#reviews in brief#Locklands#Robert Jackson Bennett#look hive-minds made from human participants don't work like that#they can't be 'just like people except broader' for the whole book#until you need them to make the unitary and utopian choice inexplicably at the conclusion#also I still can't believe that the big reveal _wasn't_ 'it was a video game all along!'#because there were so many things pointing that way#it would make perfect sense of the arbitrary logic of the magic#ah well
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Honest to god. Honest To God. I might start writing for them again. Thought about the way Emil died and got nailed in the face w an au idea
#i hate writing/posting on mobile ao3#but atp. atp. i already have the goatkeeper wip#i stand in my rarepair room and watch behind the glass as andrew kreiss gets tugged this way and that#i think goatkeeper is interesting when you read jeffrey as 315#manipulative and despising 315#because it would make sense! it would#his hatred for humanity makes perfect sense!#and his hatred for exploitation makes perfect sense!#he had to participate in it and chose to let his animals kill rather than do that again#meanwhile andrew chose to continuw exploiting the dead#and 315 does know what andrew did at lutz/laz so. ykno.#it makes their dynamic very interesting and very toxic in a way i like#i like pulling the rug out from under him. show him hes undeserving of love even when it is tailored for him#as 315 does. love in a way tailored explicitly for him#because 315 is using him#but i do. i do#also miss Andrew as someones object of real extreme affection. emildrew come back to me#please come back to me
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