#the penny hoarder
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Is it still Frozensteel? Frozensteel Alter?
Also unspoken rizz from Whitley
#rwby#whitrose#ruby x whitley#ruby rose#whitley schnee#penny polendina#penny hoarder#penny x whitley#ruby x penny x whitley#nuts n dolts#ruby x penny
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Am cleaning the garage of some stuff that's been untouched since the move, and if mom ever says anything about me being messy and unorganized, I am totally pointing out the fact that I've found at *least* a dozen unmatched socks randomly in bins, some having paperwork from a decade ago in them.
#i admit to paper clutter#but at least i don't hemorrhage socks#every time i found another slightly different unmatched sock i had anoth wtf mom moment#among other things are cosmetics sweetener packets dozens of paperclips pennies and so many plastic hangars#look#i am a messy craft hoarder#but even i dont put such random shit all together#it is like a very confusing look into my moms brain#where the largest emtion is hide the signs of living guests are coming and now i forgot this box forever
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its all ads, btw. the first one is an ad for a car insurance partner; the second is an ad for a browser extension that tells you if Amazon is overcharging you. 3 is an ad for branded surveys, 4 is an ad for inbox dollars. 5 is an advertisement for a loan broker that goes after people with credit card debt. 6 is a company called national debt relief, once again for credit card/personal loan/medical debt. no 8 is one of those stupid apps that pays you for playing games.
this was literally all advertisements. i think if anyone ever sends me a penny hoarder article again as "advice" I should get to kill them
#me#i hate you penny hoarder i hate you i hate you i hate you#once again 'money advice for poor people' summed up as 'stop buying starbucks'#or in this case 'stop ordering on amazon and paying your credit card debt'???
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6.15.23
#1dalmatianeveryday#art#dalmatians spotted!#dalmatian#hoarder: purr#alter art#this id my brother sister his name is Perdita Pongo Pepper Patch Penny and he makes me clean my room#but we call it Purr#doghouse
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𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐄𝐑 , father charlie mayhew
MAKING A WOMAN OUTTA YOU.
𓈒 ˙ ꪆৎ ꣹ ۫ 𖨂 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 . .. . priest!charlie m. X non-believer!black!fem!reader || second person ( you, yours, you’re ) + lowercase intended.
+ synopsis. for such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of christ: and no marvel, for the devil himself is transformed into an angel of light: therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness, whose end shall be according to their works. - 2 corinthians 11:13-15
+ cw. grandma thinks reader is troubled and sexually active :: ‘G’ in ‘God’ is lowercased. use of ‘y/n’, brief mention of pregnancy and abortion, sacrilege / taboo, blasphemy, abuse of authority, feeding that fantasy / giving into obsession / scratching that itch , religious shame / guilt || pússy drunk father charlie, he’s so vocal — dirty talk, overstim, “angel” petname, choking, unprotected sex / charlie rejecting two condoms, multiple creampies, charlie & his standing positions.
+ nali’s notes; charlie mayhew & those blood red cowboy boots. writing gratuitous smut to breathe / did not expect to write this much. wordcount :: 6.2k+
+ to be played: family tree, ethel cain. || alternative: church, chase atlantic + numb, rihanna & eminem.
MAKING A WOMAN OUTTA YOU.
in two swift motions, you refolded the pamphlet and shoved it into the large pocket of your purse — letting the sleek paper crumble and tear. your grandmother norrice sat beside you, scanning through her copy of the same pamphlet and grinning softly. “you new adults are lucky,” the elder had said, removing her thin-wire, rectangular framed reading glasses, “it’s so good for young women to attend these type of things; to keep their hearts and minds pure. if i had such opportunity at your age, i would certainly have my life together.”
your relationship with the church had always been strained, and belief in god, at least the way your grandmother spoke about him, never came naturally to you.
annoyedly, “grandma . .. your life is fine.” norrice gave a small shake of her head and pushed her grandma-glasses back into place. “my life could be better. i would have done more,” she said in a wobbly voice. grandma norrice had fallen pregnant with your father at the young age of sixteen, and since her parents ( your greats ) were opposed to abortion, considering such action immoral, grandma norrice was forced to adult much quicker. “look. look. come look at this,” showing off the pamphlet, pointing a wrinkly finger over a bolded textbook — “start over. rededicate yourself as a virgin,” she read.
grandma norrice lowered the pamphlet into her lap. “isn’t that amazing?” you sighed deeply, swallowing down the hysterical laugh that almost left your throat. grandma norrice could feel the aggravation that seamed off of your body. “hey . ..” again, she pulled those thin-glasses off the bridge of her nose. she placed a cold hand onto your forearm and squeezed lovingly, “i’m only asking you for one. one session, hmm?”
and on: “you go in there and you listen. you show up for yourself, right?” grandma norrice reached and hooked a finger under your chin, tilting your head toward her. “you go in there and confess your defiance. you go in there and pledge yourself to be pure again in the eyes of the lord-“ there had been a misunderstanding between you and your grandmother norrice.
backstory: grandma norrice likes to keep her receipts. all of them. every last one. she had folders upon folders that divided her receipts by year and frequently shopped stores. she considers her an organizer, but she’s a hoarder . .. of paper. anyways, one day, way back when, she had read an advertisement in the town’s newspaper, that pretty much said: ‘good-day people of mississippi! make money off your receipts! one receipt for one penny!‘ the company had been active many years later, sending grandma norrice rolls and rolls of pretty brown pennies, but as the world aged and technology progressed — the company died.
and for some reason, even though she’s been told time and time again that that company had no longer been operating, she still collects and saves — waiting to reach her goal amount and cash in her receipts. she’s nearing a thousand receipts; it was like playing bingo and scratching lottery tickets for her. separating those receipts into their categories gave her joy.
and the short version of why you are here: as she was cleaning out a reusable shopping bag, she had seen a receipt. excited to store it where it belonged, her misty eyes scanned the slip of paper for a date. and though she found the date, she had also seen: CRYSTAL CONDOMS EXTRA VALUE , 4.99. a box of condoms was bought.
no, you weren’t sexually active . .. . but you were planning to be with this guy. and no, he wasn’t just any guy. you’ve been talking to him for a while now and he, surprisingly, has checked off every box in your ‘my type’ list. for the last four months it’s been cute dates and sweet hangouts, and after that makeout session last weekend, you were sure you were ready for it. you wanted to do it with him, badly. so bad that you started carrying two condoms in your purse, like a highschool kid, anticipating the next meet-up.
“-you must desire to re-purity.” you have not had sex yet. “you must desire to be clean.” hearing the low clacks of flat-heels, you turned from your grandmother with a low groan — the quick distraction needed. a woman, looking around your age, had been coming down the hall, giddy and with a greedy look in her blue eyes. her blonde hair, seeming freshly curled, had bounced up and down on her shoulders.
you let your eyes stroll downward; seeing the pamphlet. her copy a nice, pastel green color. a more recent edition. and then came another young woman, she too hurried down the hall with a copy of the pamphlet. “-you need guidance,” your grandmother norrice had still been speaking ( to herself ). “do not let your desires lead you astray.” and as more young women came filing down the hallway, she silenced herself.
“i believe that your time has come for a cleanse,” grandma norrice said, watching as the duos and trios of giggling, beautifully polished young women gathered at the large, double dark-oak doors. she patted your knee twice, telling you to hurry up and along. “i will be right here waiting for you, okay? right here. go on now, hurry in.”
the basement of the church was cold, even in the middle of summer. the pearly fluorescent lights gave the room an almost sterile feel, a stark contrast to the warmth of the sunday service that was held upstairs much earlier. the chairs were arranged in a tight circle, creating an intimacy that felt more like confinement. you made your way down the creaky staircase, stopping at the bottom landing and staring at the misguided women.
the air smelled like old books and faint incense, but none of it brought the comfort your grandmother said that the church would. if you turn back now, you could hide in the bathroom — since whoever was leading this thing wasn’t in yet . .. . but you would have to pass your grandmother to camp out in the bathroom.
you dropped your shoulders with a deep sigh.
you clutched the strap of your purse and eased into the light — careful and observant. you settled down in between two white women who were holding hand-held flip mirrors and fluffing their shiny hair. honey blonde and deep brunette. your gaze shifted then and your curious eyes landed on two other women; spanish women who were re-applying their gloss. the air was heavy, thick with an uncomfortable silence.
one session, your grandmother’s words echoed in your mind: “you need guidance. do not let your desires lead you astray.” maybe if you had had sex, this could be useful. if only she were here to see all of these women in their makeup and neat hairstyles and sitting so proper to show off what they have in the front — and as a slam sounded, the women jumped startled and readied themselves . .. . their heads bowed low in what looked like guilt or shame. fake guilt and fake shame.
“welcome back ladies . .. .” the priest, father charlie maydew, now stood in the center of the circle, his hands clasped in front of him like he was leading a sermon, but there was an edge to his presence that made your skin prickle. eerie, he was. “i applaud each of you for returning this afternoon. i applaud you for wanting better for yourself, and for trusting me to guide you through this process.” he was a tall man, with a face that was just on the edge of a smile, but never quite reaching for warmth.
his collar seemed to cling too tightly around his neck, and his eyes darted around the room, landing on each young woman, one by one; hungrily, before lingering on you for a beat longer than comfortable — his expression unreadable. but then, one corner of his lips tipped upward. the honey blonde at one side of you noticed and for a second, she considered tackling you. but she took a deep breath in and out. in and out.
“thank you for joining us this afternoon,” he said, his voice deep and smooth, his attention making you shrink slightly in your seat — wanting to disappear. father charlie fashioned a calming, slightly condescending grin on his face.
the other women turned to look at you, some with curiosity, some with attitude, but all with fake sympathy. “why don’t you introduce yourself?” his tone was warm, but something about it felt performative, rehearsed. the tall priest took two big steps back and gestured toward the center of the center.
you remained seated — shaking your head no. “i don’t plan on comin’ back, so . .. .” your fingers twisting in your lap, “i don’t think there’s a need to, y’know . .. . know me. know my name. why i’m here.” you finished with a shy chuckle. no one laughed with you. no one cracked a smile.
a bushy brow of his lifted a bit. he noted how sure of yourself you seemed after that statement. father charlie decided to try again: “please, come. introduce yourself.” all eyes were on you . .. . and you felt like a teenager again about to give a solo-project presentation. “i don’t . .. .” a scoff and another nervous chuckle. “there’s no reason for that. like i said, this is an in and out kind of thing for me.”
father charlie never had to ask twice. young women, such as those around him, moved whenever he needed something done. they moved as quick as possible, they never wanted him to lift a finger. any and every favor was complete without complaint or hesitation. though he never had to ask twice, for you, he’d give it a third go. “this is a safe environment. what is shared here will stay here. right in this circle. our small community.” as father charlie spoke, he stepped along said circle. the women smiled up at him as he passed, their hearts fluttering and their stomachs knotting.
when he landed, standing right before you, he held out his hand. “grab onto me . .. . and come forth.” his voice smooth, almost hypnotic. you felt the weight of the gazes from the other women — some surprised, their faces drawn in confusion and puzzlement. no one had ever hesitated to take father charlie’s hand. you could see the tension in their bodies, the way they sat stiffly, chests and shoulders leaned in, they were practically on the edge of their seats . .. . wondering if you’d keep denying the man or finally give into him.
but, they all swore that they’d rather be you right now; looking up at father charlie as he offered his beautiful hand.
“grab . .. . onto me.” fifth time.
you took a dekko at his hand — thinking.
and when your hand fell onto his, a collective sigh had gone up. father charlie clasped his other hand on top of yours and gave a pat; a pat that said: thank you, gorgeous.
you kept your hand in his as you took to your feet. father charlie’s palm felt nice in yours; surprisingly soft — he walked you to the circle’s center and released your hand, his fingers dragging against yours as he parted. “there is no need to be shy.”
you were annoyed.
“my name’s y/n, ‘nd, well . .. . i’m here ‘cause of my,” you cleared your throat, then trailed off abruptly, “my grandma.” the women stared amongst themselves for a second and then looked up at you again. you raised your chin softly, catching a glimpse of father charlie beyond you. not hovering, but towering perfectly. “it’s silly, really,” you had told the group, folding your arms over your chest protectively, “she does this thing . .. a-this weird thing, where she .. . like, keeps all of her receipts?”
you heard a soft hum come from behind your back. you wanted to look around, to look at father charlie, but you kept yourself from doing so. “it’s a long story . .. well, not exactly, no. it’s actually the shortest story in history, really-“ fast paced babbling. purely from the anxious energy that coursed and spun throughout your body. for some people, their brains lock up and they have trouble thinking of things to say. for you, being jittery filled your mind with thoughts, along with an urge to say them all. right now. as fast as you can. “-when she was much much younger and livin’ in mississippi, she was reading a newspaper . .. .”
and you rambled. and you rambled. and you rambled.
“‘nd she thinks that i’m having sex, which-“ you laughed at the thought, “-which i am not. i’m not.” directed to the women. “seriously, i’m not.” was directed to father charlie. “i’m here for no reason, honestly. i’ve been forced here on an assumption. a silly assumption. i’ve been carryin’ ‘round condoms, but that’s all-“ the embarrassing statement caught you off-guard.
with a hand, father charlie gestured toward your chair — clearly telling you to sit the fuck down. you hurried back. you dropped down and quickly kicked your purse underneath the seat; as if to hide the condoms that were already tucked in a zipper pocket.
“at least you’re having protective sex,” the brunette whispered over, not even facing you. you almost choked on nothing: “no, i’m not,” you answered too quickly. that didn’t sound right. “i-fuck. no, i’m not havin’ sex. but if i was, i would be protected,” you corrected. “that’s what makes this whole thing hilarious. i’m still a virgin.” the brunette looked at you. “then why are you here?” your shoulders slumped, “did . .. . did you not hear me?” you asked, pointing to the circle’s center. the brunette said no, “would you listen to yourself talk about your grandma collecting receipts? we all were falling asleep, sweetie. i was so tuned out, which never happens here.”
you shifted your weight a bit, turning your body toward her.
“wait, so why are you here, seriously?” she tilted her head.
you opened your mouth to speak and heard a finger-snap. “ladies . .. .” father charlie urged. he clasped his hands in front of him and continued, “you are here because of your struggle. each of you struggle. struggle with the desires of the flesh. desires that pull you away from god.“ he lifted a hand toward you, “she travels with condoms. can anyone tell me what that says about her?”
two arms had gone up and you so desperately wanted to leave.
father charlie called on tabitha, her loose waves pulled up into a high ponytail. her eyes sparkled. “it is clear that she is eager to engage in sexual intercourse with a man. it is on her mind and she is desperate for it. but if such dangerous thought continues to linger, she will eventually take action.”
you scoffed, “i am not ‘eager’ or ‘desperate’. i jus’ wan’a-“ father charlie raised a hand, shushing you from going any further. your lips shut, disappointedly. “that is correct, thank you, tabitha.” and she felt her bones rattled.
father charlie’s eyes slid back to you, his voice dropping into something softer, more personal. “these desires . .. these thoughts, like tabitha had stated, they are dangerous. but luckily, they can be controlled. with the right guidance.”
you felt the heat of his attention again, the way his words seemed to be directed specifically at you, though there were ten other women sitting in this circle. you lowered your gaze, trying to find comfort in your lap, but the room seemed to close in around you.
“lust,” he continued, stepping closer to where you sat, “is the most powerful weapon the devil has. it twists the human mind, makes you believe that these urges are natural.” father charlie had left the circle for a moment, their eyes following except yours. he had never left the circle before — he stuck there for every session. his hand rested on the back of your chair, and you froze. “but they are not. not one bit. they are sins. and we are here to free you from that temptation.”
“desires,” he said then, his voice dropping into a low murmur, “can be dangerous if left unchecked. they can consume you.“
a few of the women murmured, their voices barely audible. you remained silent, your heart thudding painfully in your chest. his fingers brushed against your shoulder, lightly, almost as if by accident, but you knew it wasn’t. the touch was deliberate, testing. father charlie leaned in more, pressing himself into the chair fully now. “god forgives,” his voice velvety, his hand lingering on your shoulder for a moment too long. “but only if you are truly willing to repent. to give yourself fully to him . .. .”
you stiffened, not sure if you were reacting to the feel of him or the fact that he was singling you out again.
you wanted to stand, to leave, but something kept you anchored to the chair. a combination of guilt, fear, and an unshakable sense that you should’ve never came.
father charlie moved away, continuing his slow pace around the group of beautiful women. he spoke about discipline, about submission to god’s will, about sin and repentance, but each word felt laced with something darker. something unspoken.
you glanced around the room, noticing the way the other women seemed to hang onto his every word, their eyes ogling and admiring how he carried himself. you weren’t sure what you expected from this session, but the way he spoke about desire — like it was something to be ashamed of — made you uncomfortable. sure, you had your own struggles, but was that really something that needed to be controlled like a disease?
this was something else entirely . .. . and it was confusing.
as the session dragged on, you realized that the shame you felt was from being here, in this room, where father charlie wielded his authority like a blade, cutting away at the parts of you that made you human.
at the end of the session, as the other women began to gather their things and shuffle toward the door, father charlie gestured for you to stay behind. you hesitated, but the weight of expectation pressed down on you, making it impossible to refuse.
you slung the strap over your shoulder and held the leather close, as if to comfort yourself.
and once the room was empty, he stepped to you, a smile creeping back onto his face. “thank you for sharing this afternoon. that was quite the story,” he said, his tone sickeningly sweet. “i know you said that this was a . .. . ‘one and done’, type of thing-“
you wanted to speak but nothing came out.
“but, i think we need to have a private conversation. just you and me. i can help you further. i would like to help you further, y/n.”
the bile rose in your throat, but all you could manage was a nod, the fear of what would happen if you said no silencing you. you quickly turned your back and left for the double doors.
you entered quietly, hoping not to draw attention, but the oak door creaked louder than you expected, making a few heads turn. you weren’t that late, just a few minutes, but it was enough to feel the shift in the room’s energy as you found an empty chair in the circle. the same chair you had been seated in last weekend. father charlie had made sure to leave it out.
“punctuality is important,” father charlie said smoothly, his voice breaking through the murmurs as he watched you take your seat. his smile was there, but it didn’t reach his eyes. you gave a quick nod of apology, shifting uncomfortably as you settled in, trying to brush off the feeling that all eyes were on you.
this time . .. . you were here by choice — you hadn’t told your grandmother norrice that father charlie had asked you to return. you knew that if you did, she’d throw a fit. she’d throw a damn superbowl party — it unsettled you, but at the same time, something pulled at you. maybe it was curiosity, or maybe it was the fact that you couldn’t stop thinking about how he had made you feel just by looking at you, as if he could see something in you that no one else could. whatever it was, it brought you back.
there was a distance between you and the women, a sense that you weren’t part of their world just yet. a sense that you were special, and far more important to father charlie.
“but, i am glad that you’ve decided to return.” you gave a small nod, your fingers tightening around the strap of your bag. “yeah, i . .. . i figured i’d give it another try,” you had said.
he nodded, as if he had expected nothing less. “good. very good.” father charlie smiled at you, but it wasn’t comforting. there was something behind it — something almost predatory in the way he seemed to hold his gaze on you, like he was sizing you up. then, he turned to address the group, but his words felt distant, again like they were just for show. you couldn’t focus on the session. your thoughts were too tangled, your mind too occupied with what he had said last time.
i think we need to have a private conversation.
“even if-when you don’t believe,” father charlie said, closing in behind your chair, his voice low enough that only you could hear, “god has a plan for you. you just have to let him in.”
you swallowed hard, fingers swiping along the smooth paint of your nails, unsure of what else to do. his hand found your shoulder for a second or three before he moved on, continuing his speech. the other women nodded along, their heads still bowed in what looked like submission.
as the session dragged on, you found yourself drifting in and out of the conversation, only half-listening. you weren’t here for the church, you weren’t here for god, you weren’t here for your grandmother, you weren’t here to be lectured about how your desires were dangerous if not properly controlled . .. . you were here for father charlie.
as the session wound down, the other women began to gather their things, exchanging quiet goodbyes. father charlie’s eyes followed them out, but he didn’t speak. he was waiting — waiting for them to leave, waiting for you. he caught your eye, giving you a knowing look. “stay . .. ?” he mouthed, the request felt more like a command.
tension.
when the last of the women finally left, the door closing softly behind her, the room seemed to shrink. the room felt different — charged. father charlie slowly walked over to where you sat, his presence looming larger now that it was just the two of you. his smile was still there, but it was different in this quiet space, more intense, more focused.
father charlie sat down in the chair right next to you. he scooted closer to you, grunting as he moved the chair with him — scraping it against the stone floor. his voice was soft, intimate. “i’m really glad you gave this another chance.” his dark eyes locked on yours with a strange intensity. “you know, sometimes the answers we are looking for are . .. . in places we wouldn’t expect.”
“like the basement of my grandmother’s church,” you had said mindlessly. father charlie gave you a gentle grin, showing you that he had been amused. barely. “yeah. exactly that. the basement of your grandmother’s church. but . .. . like i was saying-“ his hand brushed lightly against your arm, “-i think that you’re searching,” his voice a bit lower, like a secret was being shared. “-searching for something deeper, something that no one else can give you. i see it in you, the desire for connection.”
connection.
“i want to help you work through . .. . your urges.”
there was no mistaking it now — the way he said urges, the way his voice dipped, made it clear he wasn’t talking about faith or repentance anymore. “we all have them,” he murmured, his eyes scanning your face like he was looking for something, some sign of compliance or curiosity. “it happens.” his hand slid downward. just a little closer they went . .. . fingers grazing the back of your hand, subtle but deliberate. “i can guide you through it,” he whispered. “let me help you.”
your pulse quickened, a sense of alarm flooding through you, but there was also a need.
“you have to trust me. you have to let me in.”
“i don’t . .. know. i don’t think-“
father charlie’s smile deepened, his hand gently squeezing your forearm. “sometimes, we don’t know what we need until we find it. trust me. you’re here for a reason. god brought you back for a reason, right?”
his words hung in the air, heavy with a meaning that wasn’t lost on you.
“i don’t know,” you repeated yourself.
you tried to look away, but his hand reached out, his fingers lightly gripping your chin, forcing your gaze back to him — like he was trying to hold you in place, make you stay in this moment with him. “i know what you’ve been feeling. i know what’s pulling at you. you want to give in, yeah? to feel something . .. .”
“sometimes . .. . we’re not meant to fight it. sometimes, we’re meant to feed it.” he dropped his hand from your chin.
“but yesterday, you said . .. .”
he chuckled softly, but there was no humor in it, only a dark edge. “i know what you want. i know what your body wants, what it’s demanding from the world.” his hand moved, not to your arm this time, but to the small space between your shoulder blades. “and there’s nothing wrong with wanting and needing to feel pleasure. most times, we need personal attention to overcome and strive.
“i didn’t tell the others; but sometimes . .. . we have to allow ourselves to feel these things in order to rise above it. that’s how we control it.” his fingers slid down your back slowly. “desire can a gift — one that can bring two closer to the truth of who we are. allow me to help you feed it.”
. .. .
“are you going to let me help you now?”
. .. .
“yes.”
and he wasted no time bringing a hand up to grab the zip of your short-sleeved hoodie. he pulled down carefully, the plump cleavage of your breasts peeking. his other hand smoothed along your curly slicked back hair, “thank you,” he whispered.
and though you were prepared for something like this, the contraceptives in your purse went unused. when charlie had seen you flick it out — showing off the metallic dark green wrapper, the imprint of the condom bold — he refused, immediately: “no.” simple. flat and cold.
charlie plucked the packet from your perfectly-manicured fingers and tossed it across the floor, dark eyes boring into you. you looked at him as if he had lost his mind. just as you were about dig into the pocket for the other condom, charlie gripped your wrist; the pressure gentle but firm. “what do you mean ‘no’?” you asked — though you knew exactly what he meant.
“i have something real to give.” in other words, he would not be spilling his seed into some rubbery latex. there was no blocking him out. “i need you to feel everything. okay? you need to.” you couldn’t oppose him.
and here you were: holding onto his forearms. his arms had prodding veins for days. from his wrists to the tops of his large shoulders. he was so built, you weren’t at all expecting it. “. .. ready, angel?” you nodded down at him sweetly, hands sliding up to his flexed biceps. “wan’a be yours already. please ..” charlie had you right where he wanted you. there was something so nasty about the smirk that grew across his face, “god saved you for me . .. . wanted me to have you.”
“mm, think so?” came quiet and soft.
“know so,” charlie muttered, stroking himself messily. “i know so.” he reached down for you, carefully lining himself up with your heavenly entrance. “taste me.” his words are sweet, poison laced sugar. you kissed him, letting your eyes close as you did so.
and when he slipped inside, spongy and slimy, it was like his own personal hell. you were so much better than he could’ve imagined. charlie had gone completely silent, choking on air — like he was just punched in the gut. there’s no comparison, no feeling in the world . .. . he couldn’t form a single, coherent thought. you were gripping him just right, massaging his cock like you really were made to have him as your first. like he was made to stretch your hymen.
“fucking shhit,” charlie’s head gradually tossed itself back. he couldn’t keep his mouth shut, couldn’t keep the surprise out of his voice, couldn’t keep himself from hiccuping and mumbling your name and calling you ‘angel’. “f-fuck. fuck, fuck, hang’on, f-please . .. hang on.” charlie had to pause halfway, huffing out an overwhelmed breath. he’s drooling — he couldn’t quite fathom how amazing you felt on the inside.
you sighed, and sighed again as his nose brushed your throat, as he guided your hips — slowly and tediously, pulling you up and down. your jaw hung open desperately, toes curling with each vein he gradually dragged so rigidly along your walls. “i’ve got y-you . .. . i promise, angel. i’ve got’cha,” you were taking him so well despite the pain, making it harder to resist the urge to pound into you.
your cunt readily accepting the priest’s dick as it oozed against your insides and spreads the flame of desire.
he’s making your pussy his own; shaping your cunt, molding you into the perfect cocksleeve. pretty much carving his name into it. and he was trying his best. trying so hard to be as gentle and as slow as he could possibly be, fighting every bad thought that so tightly pulled and demanded he go deeper. charlie did well, swallowing those thoughts down . .. but it was tiring.
it was exhausting. so fucking exhausting, especially when your desperate cunt keeps sucking and swallowing him in deeper after each and every pass. charlie kissed and licked at your neck, blankly trying to distract himself — which gave nothing. your cunt would not let up. nothing would give. not like this. there was no way. there was nothing in this world strong enough to pull him away from you and your warm cunt.
charlie’s guiding your hips so slow that it was painful. he’s trying to make every thrust connect — he’s groaning and struggling to keep his dark eyes open. you're smothering his entire cock with nothing but your slippery slick, hearing the filthy clicks ring from in between your sweaty thighs — he’s so lost in the sounds of you.
you are secured to him; fingers tangled into his brunette hair, gripping strands and raking your nails along his scalp, eliciting a satisfying moan to slip past his pretty lips. you blinked away, only for a moment, and stared down at his glossy lips. covered in his spit, your toes are curling. your tummy is doing cartwheels — butterflies no longer butterflies but pterodactyls.
“y-you’re .. . .. ‘t’s so deep ..” charlie gave a gentle smile, one hand slipping up and caressing the curve of your back. “i know i am. i know. i can feel it too, angel.” your sleepy gaze remained on his smiling lips. you licked at your own, almost leaning in to capture his. “i can feel everything . .. .” and you felt fan-fucking-tastic. “everything.”
you bit back a smile.
charlie winced lowly, his thighs starting to rattle. “hurts to .. to keep goin’ this slow ..”
it felt like he was worshipping you — that you are the sacred body here, two bright candles flickering in the corner — he’s worshipping you, you’re sure of it, with tongue and teeth and cock. it’s messy, and he’s not shy, those lips that could stir a congregation with their sweetness, his golden tongue .. . “nngh-wait,” you pleaded softly. “w-wha’?”
clenching around him so tight you could feel the outline of his prominent veins, the sensitive spots along his shaft. charlie’s brows furrow in clean focus, letting out a sultry string of words, “i .. i can’t.” he's buried nose deep near the crook of your neck. “i’m sorry, angel. i can’t .. fuck, i can’t.” he softly rasped as deep brown locks of hair stick against his shiny skin. “takin’ everything in me . .. i’m tryin’, fuckk, i’m tryin’ for you-don’t wan’ it to hurt . .. .” you felt his throaty pants trail against your skin, “but i’ve gotta go harder.”
with a sheepish smile, you met his chocolate-eyed gaze, moaning a soft: “okay ..”
“y-yeah?”
your weak arms wrapped around his broad shoulders, the pads of your fingers almost rubbing against a fresh scar, “mhmm .. . do it, please.” the ghost of a smirk. charlie’s thick fingers clasped at your waist; the decorative beads printing mini dents into your brown skin. effortless, he lifted your hips and fixed himself — the feet of the chair loudly scratching the cold, stone floor. “you’re the best i’ve ever felt, angel .. . s’hot inside. s’soft.” that deep, silky whisper has your cunt quivering disgustingly. and he’s driving his hips up, fast, drilling himself into your body.
“so fuckin’ wet-“ one hand cupped the side of your face, bringing you in. you’re both panting, quick and short, breathing hot and heavy air into each other’s mouths. “pretty hole sucking me in so good . .. .” your teeth nipped at your plump lower lip, drinking him in. charlie’s hot fingers slipped underneath your waistbeads, toying with the jewellery. “so good, angel . ..”
the gel slicking back your naturally thick hair put up zero match against the heat of this basement. edges once neatly laid, were puffing up — stretched curls lifting out of place and shrinking.
“fuck-never wanna leave.” your heart continued to race at his obscene words. and you caressed his face, whispering about how good he was making you feel. he mewled at your validation, wanting to please, needing to be the best for you.
and he’s so loud, so hungry for more. with the way charlie’s long lashes flutter and his hooded eyes droop, he was so visibly pussy drunk. already nearing the edge and trying his best not to tip over. balancing on a uni-cycle on a string of the cheapest of cheap dental floss.
he could practically taste the pleasure on his tongue — release is coming quick and there was no preparing himself for it. not enough preparation in the world. the pointed tips of his ears burn with intense, searing heat.
“oh my-! oh god!”
“no-“ charlie cursed under his breath and snapped a hand over your throat, all five fingers digging into your brown skin — “-no. fuck no. you don’t call on god. you-you don’t call on him. don’t. he’s not makin’ you feel good. i am. you call on me,” he ordered, harshly. and all you can is nod and follow his direction. “call for me . .. . do it.” you’re practically speechless, nothing left from your lips yet, all that could be heard was the constant slap slap slap of slippery skin.
and his hand tightened around your neck. “come on, angel . .. say my name.” charlie’s muscled chest heaved up and down, hard. “fucking call on me.”
your hands latched onto his wrist — this new feeling, you couldn't quite describe it. it was tasty and he was peeling you apart, layer by layer. “do it. who’s makin’ you feel good? huh? who’s breakin’ you in half? .. . who’s splittin’ you the fuck open?”
“charlie!” all you can do is choke out a shrill. “you are!”
what happens next takes you by surprise — charlie locked his big burly arms under your thighs and stood up, keeping himself plugged in; nice and snug. the new position, standing, had charlie’s head spinning. he grunted loudly, and it’s a sexy guttural noise. your legs kicking and dangling in the air as he feeds your cunt inch by greedy inch, again and again. “charlie .. .” you whined, pulling at his hair.
“shiit,” and as if a switch had been flipped, hot sticky ribbons shoot right into you, spilling way into your sweet welcoming womb. you gasped, nails scratching into his large shoulders — and the feel of him letting go inside of you has you cumming as well. his panting is deep and animalistic. he held onto your shivering body tighter, his hips never faltering.
beefy arms lifting your sticky body up again, he’s back at it — pushing and eager to reach another one. “a-angel .. .” his entire body hot and heavy. “gonna fill you up again-i’ve gotta.” his brown eyes continued to grow hooded and low.
you were still trying to recover. still coming down from your first orgasm and just barely adjusting to the feel of having his previous load fucked even deeper. “‘m gonna cum again,” he warned softly — cream tearing down his trembly thighs. he’s silently babbling out more whispers and moans of your name. “givin’ you all of me .. .”
you’re flustered right away and wanting to kiss him, hungry to. but as your leaning in, the heels of your feet knocking into the back of his thighs hard, he hoists your legs over his shoulders without so much as a warning. you’re scared to fall, but he won’t let you. he promised you through shaky moans, rocking you up and down.
and you’re gonna pass out, eyes knocking in the back of your skull. your legs bobbing from the movement, you’re trapped against him — and it’s even hotter. even messier and you can’t squirm at all. charlie’s watching your face contort and scrunch and there goes his ego; shooting through the church’s roof and into space. you’re barely hanging onto his big arms and he’s feeling so good about himself. “i can’t-can’t anymore,” you cried to him.
“but you can, angel . .. .” charlie snapped. “keep takin’ it .. and let’s finish together, ‘kay?” and every time you touched down on him, you squeal —
— “charlie . ..” you cooed, voice cracking cutely. your voice made his cock twitch and from the inside, you felt it all . .. . and it felt so nice. so sweet and so insanely intimate. “ch-charlie, pleaseee.” sickly, your voice bounces along the holy walls of the church’s basement.
lips parting as he tried to find his voice: “cum with me, angel-do it,” he pleaded. charlie felt every little reaction and spasm. every cute gasp and cry and moan sent a thick rush through his aching body. and you’re cumming again, holding onto him as tight as you can, clawing at his biceps.
and that’s when he lets go. pumping in yet another hot, thick load of his cum — you almost gag at the re-fill. his grip weakened, but charlie doesn’t let you fall. he told you that he won’t, so he won’t. he’s shivering, feeling a wave crash down onto him as he’s caving into his high . .. .
if this is sin — this beautiful, divine feeling — then what is the point of it all?
#nali’s ᡣ𐭩#black reader#black writers#nicholas chavez x blackreader smut#grotesquerie#father charlie mayhew#charlie mayhew smut#charlie mayhew x blackreader smut#short story#lengthy#black women#nicholas chavez#nicholas chavez smut
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CW: Yandere Themes
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
Yandere!Alhaitham x Endangered Animal Hybrid!Reader...
It starts off innocently enough. After escaping a group of Treasure Hoarders looking to sell you off to whoever would pay the most, you find yourself lost in Gandharva Ville for several days until Tighnari finds you. Knowing that you're at risk of being poached due to your rarity, but also knowing that keeping you—a feral, dangerous, and intelligent being—in close proximity to Collei is a bad idea, the Forest Ranger writes to Alhaitham asking him to house you and keep an eye on you.
After several letters sent back and forth over the course of days, it only takes a little bit of begging on Tighnari's part to convince Alhaitham to look after you for a month. Soon enough, you're moving in and sulking around the confines of your new "home", a pout on your face at the fact that you can't escape. After all, for all your strength and agility, Alhaitham possesses a vision and a powerful intellect. You're outmatched.
Despite your attitude, Alhaitham pays you little mind. He makes sure you're fed, hydrated, and healthy, but rarely speaks more than one or two sentences at a time when talking to you. Over the days, the two of you warm up to one another a little, but nothing noticeable changes in the Scribe's demeanor.
Until he comes home one day to you sitting on a sofa, a book plucked from his personal collection spread on your lap. An Introductory Guide to Zoology, the title reads. After a moment, your ears perk up, registering the door creaking. In a flash, you turn to face him, shock painted bright red across your face.
For a few seconds, all you can hear is the battering ram that is your heartbeat smashing against your mind, chastising you for being so stupid. Now you'd be thrown out and defenseless, with plenty of dangerous people who'd jump at the chance to earn a pretty penny by pawning off a rare hybrid such as yourself.
"S-sorry," you say, shaky hands shutting the cover. But before you can, Alhaitham is quick to grab hold of the book, keeping it open.
He's so close to you, to the point where you can see the rise and fall of his chest, the sheen of sweat on his forehead from walking home in the warm weather, the pure intrigue in his eyes at this new discovery.
You intrigue him.
His eyes narrow slightly. "I didn't know you could read?" He glances at the text, discerning what exactly you're studying—if you are studying at all, that is.
You nod. "I learned when I was very young," you say, your own eyes slowly falling to the floor, willing this conversation to be over. Luckily, the divine seem to answer your prayer and Alhaitham simply shrugs and walks away.
Little do you know, the spark of curiosity he allowed you to see had already grown into a roaring fire, burning with the desire to know you. He could hardly call his interest rational, though he does his best to find justifications and act like he believes them.
The month flies by, and you continue to believe that all is well in the world. You've just begun looking through your few belongings, trying to decide what to keep and what to get rid of before you move out, when Alhaitham enters the doorway. "Tighnari told me that you plan to leave in less than a week."
Looking up from the knick-knacks you own, you turn to Alhaitham. "Yeah. I was planning to go back to Gandharva Ville and live there for a few months," you say, your attention beginning to shift back to your possessions. Conversations with Alhaitham mostly ended after one or two sentences, and you had no reason to believe that this conversation would be any different.
"About that." Alhaitham's voice breaks through your focus like glass. "There have been reports from the Matra of increased poaching in the areas around Gandharva Ville. I'm not forcing you to stay, and neither is Tighnari, but we won't be able to protect you there as well as we can here," he says.
You frown. You had been looking forward to leaving for so long now, tired of being cooped up inside Alhaitham's home with only brief walks outside—under the Acting Grand Sage's supervision, of course—to break up the boredom, only to learn that it would be dangerous to leave the city.
"I...I suppose if it's okay, I'd like to stay," you say after a moment of mental debate.
For a moment, you swear you can see the corners of Alhaitham's lips quirk upwards.
"I'll inform Tighnari of your decision as soon as possible." As per usual, after a moment of silence, Alhaitham walks away.
Time seems to fly by in increasingly rapid intervals. One week becomes two. Two weeks becomes four. Four weeks becomes eight, and so on and so forth. You slowly find yourself ensnared by Alhaitham's careful, subtle manipulation. Gandharva Ville really isn't overrun with poachers, but with how sheltered you are, you don't know that.
And week by week, day by day, you don't realize it but Alhaitham is slowly working to decode you. What about you fascinates him so deeply? As he studies you like he would one of his projects, he only finds himself falling deeper and deeper into obsession, an inescapable loop of positive feedback.
The realization comes to him one night, as dreams of you dance in his head as he sleeps. Your hand brushing against his for only a moment. The empty space on the other side of his bed filled by you, his arms holding you close every night. The tender press of your lips against his. The kind of love that transcends human nature. The kind of love that is divine.
Alhaitham is in love.
And now that he knows it, he can't let you go. Luckily for him though, you'll never escape. After all, he's already domesticated you. It's only a matter of time before you learn to love him, too.
#aaaaaa sorry if this isn't that good lol#i have been busy with classes#i will most likely come back to this and edit it tho! so yeah#yandere#yandere alhaitham#yandere genshin#alhaitham x reader#genshin x reader#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere drabble#yandere imagine#yandere genshin x reader#yandere genshin impact x reader#yandere genshin imagines#yandere genshin impact#yandere genshin x you#yandere genshin x gender neutral reader#yandere alhaitham x you#yandere alhaitham x reader#alhaitham#genshin alhaitham#alhaitham x you#alhaitham x y/n#genshin imagines#genshinimpact#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact#genshin x gender neutral reader#genshin x y/n
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Sleepy Afternoons
A/N: Teehee ngl I just wrote this as a period comfort fic indulgent for myself. I hope you nerds enjoy it as much as I liked writing it!
CW: AFAB reader on period, jokes of breeding, using a dragon as a heating pad, pretty much just fluff
WC:2000
Synopsis: A lazy Sunday, the perfect start to a week on your period where you'll be constantly pestered by your dragon boyfriend.
A dragon’s hoard in times long before consisted of fine jewels and immense mounds of gold, shiny objects as far as the eye could see. Whether it was stuffed in the depths of a cave or deep in the forest, a hoard barred spikes and “DO NOT ENTER” warnings; whether they were legible or not was never up to the righteous dragon’s responsibility.
Adventurers and bandits never heeded these signs of caution, getting stuck in the narrow holes meant for dragons to shimmy through or meeting their demise through puzzles and endless booby traps-- such monsters were thorough in keeping their treasure safe. Any item that caught the creatures attention could be found in their rich reservoirs, even if they were mere wave-smoothened stones from a lake, an old lover, or a prettily decked-out concubine that was too tempting not to take.
That however, was centuries ago. Dragons, like the rest of us, must conform to modern society, technology too powerful and people too abundant to go around flying and terrorizing just to get one’s hands on a pretty penny.
Your boyfriend, once a ravenous creature with a cave of glittering gems and fine craftsmanship-- that he may or may not have maimed many blacksmiths to steal-- now resided with you in too big of a bedroom. You had argued before buying the apartment; who would need this much space? But his hoarder tendencies clearly made up for the abundance in space. Gaming consoles, silvery granola bar wrappers, aluminum dollar store trinkets, books with glittery covers-- the floor was almost unseeable with his trash and treasure mixed together. He wasn’t necessarily dirty-- in fact every item had its own spot and preferred place, which is why it killed a piece of him any time you threw away something that should not be “decorating” your shared home.
Though as you practically took care of both of you, it was hard to keep up being the caregiver in the relationship. Especially, on your period. Sunday, what a perfect day, to realize you had a whole work week ahead of mood swings and lower abdominal pain, all mixed with the gory massacre you’d face every time you went to the bathroom. Your cramps didn’t usually come in this early of a start, but it seemed like nothing was going quite right today.
“T’s wrong, darlin’?” Your draconic, crusty-eyed boyfriend mumbled into your back. “Somethin’ hurting…?”
He had been asleep since noon, ignoring the stream of yellow shining down on him from between the cracks of the blinds. But with those poor eyes and slightly above average listening skills, he completely ignored the sun and heard your groans of pain as you curled into a ball. The aching in your lower tummy was like hellfire, crisp burning and somersaults of your organs unlike any other pain than usual. Nothing was helping, no cold rags or medicine, it was like your infinite headache and body pains were destined to consume you.
“C’mon baby answer me, I wanna help..” He pouted again.
“Just my stomach..” You downplayed, not sure if you could handle his frantic coddling if he realized you’re period started. The last time you made the mistake of doing so, you had pads stacked to the brim in your bathroom cabinets and tampons in your closets, the mass shoplifting endeavor of his creating even less space in your home. Well, atleast you were set for the next fifty-seven or so cycles.
“I just need to rest n’ I’ll be fine, soon…”
Another wave of pain came through, head ringing as soft nails raked up and down your sweating back.
‘When will this be over,’ you wondered.
Maybe that horrible breeding endeavor your boyfriend was always obsessed with was worth it if it meant you wouldn’t have to suffer through this for nine months. Yeah, just nine months of morning sickness and bloating and growing a whole dragon-human parasite inside of you. But hey… the making part wouldn’t be too bad, and atleast you would be crotch-pain free.
Man, now the pain was really talking through you.
“Yer period, right?” Your dragon wonders, scratching the back of his head. He’s more awake now, and you wish he was still passed out grabbing onto you, even through the sticky sweat from his body heat. “I’m sorry baby…I know it hurts. What’you want me to do?”
“How’d you even know..” You groan, almost annoyed at how keen he is. Next thing you’d know he’d be shoving some pretty pawn shop jewelry for you to hold to distract you from the pain.
“I don’t think.. You want to know. And well there’s the obvious, I noticed you changed the bed covers.”
Oh lord, was he talking about that split tongue-nose smell-ability ‘dragon thing’ again? Could your embarassment get any worse?
“Does that mean you’ve… EVERY TIME? Every time you knew?”
He sheepishly fell into the new sheets of warmth, those dark eyebrows lifted in innocence.
“Sometimes before you knew, I think.”
Officially, you wish your boyfriend was asleep again. Maybe you’d just strangle him to end this mind-numbing conversation.
“What can I do?” He repeated. “Get you more pads?”
“No.” You shut him down as soon as the words left his mouth.
“What then? A snack, more pillows? Now’s the time to be babied, you know. Unless you’d be okay with me coming to work with you--”
You groaned, partly to shut him up and to vocalize the squeezing, contracting inside of you.
His clawed fingers came to cradle your belly, right below your belly button on your pelvic muscle. He rubbed, just gently, back and forth with a slight pressure as your head buried into the sheets beneath you.
“Just this.. is fine..” You murmur, feeling hot, humid breath exhale against your neck, emerald green slits baring into your twisted expression. He was watching you, the way your body reacted, the little signals of discomfort.
You heard a slight flutter of his wings as they adjusted, his body fitting against yours like a puzzle piece; it was nice to be the small spoon again, rather than cradling your needy dragon lover like a cocoon as he so often desired.
The dragon slowly pushed a leg between your bunched knees that stuck together, getting easier access to your tummy. His palm was so warm, as the torso flushed behind you kept a reassuring prresence. You almost turned on your back to get his palm farther against your stomach, the slight pressure and warm temperature soothing the ache in your lower back and groin.
“You know… I could always breed ya, then you wouldn’t have to--”
“Don’t try to convince me right now.” you spat, turning into him as his hand worked magic, the other brushing hair off of your neck and cheek. “That’s not an option, especially right now.”
“Well, at the very least I can make you feel good. Might ease up some of the pain, yeah?” He laid back down to lean in closer.
You sighed; he clearly didn’t understand the discomfort and embarrassment that his oh-so keen intimacy would bring you right now. You loved the sentiment, and maybe you’d be up for it if you weren’t solely thinking about your physical misery, but you barely had the fortitude to look back toward him.
Your dragon buried his flared nose into the top of your head, lined against you like a perfectly shaped heat blanket.
“You wouldn’t even have to do anything.. I’ll do whatever makes ya feel better.” His other hand snakes beneath your hip against the bed mattress, pulling you back toward his body even closer, if possible. The warm, spiked fingers tapping alongside your pelvic bone made your skin spark, your lower stomach buzzing with numbed pain and a fullness that made you want to sleep for another week. “I don’t like seeing you like this.” He frowns. “Your face.. You look so, uncomfortable.”
“Wow, thanks.” You jab, feeling a heated tail slither up your knee, to your thigh. It almost flicked in apology. “Mm.. Just stay my heating pillow and I’ll be fine.”
“I can do that.” The confidence in his voice worries you, knowing he’ll do an unnecessary load of more than you asked for. Your fetal position was gently yanked free, a pounced creature on your back as you’re forced onto your stomach. “I’ll be the best spiky heating pad you’ve ever seen.”
The strong, scaled forearms of your draconic spouse come to wrap around your hips, a burning touch ringing from his skin, worming his way beneath your comfortable pajama pants and shirt, skin on skin as his body temperature rises to accommodate your desires. His forearms seem to ripple against you, fingers tickling your sides as his legs trap against your thighs from above, most if not every length of his body pulsating against yours like a live, scaly cocoon intent on making you his personal plush, and he your sweet, warm monster.
“Feel better baby…” He kissed at the nape of your neck, sandpapery forked tongue popping out to lick away your sweat. “It’ll be over soon.. I’ma make it all better.”
You leaned deeper into the stuffy mattress sheets, the pressure on your abdomen welcomly encouraged as you push as far as possible into his fiery hands.
“I’m betting on it.” You muffle into the pillows, squirming your hips against his his body, warm chest and carved quadriceps surrounding you. The slight pressure of his inner thighs against your hips was welcoming, his mounted position atop of you seemingly odd to an outsider-- but you didn’t care how weird it might’ve looked, as the calm of your gutted abdomen took over.
You yawned into the side of the pillow as you turned your head, lifting your hips just a little to soak in the heat radiating from behind you.
“Awe’d, so sleepy huh? Need a little nap?” the dragon behind you poked.
Who knew a murderous, millenium-old dragon would be sweet-talking you so gently-- just a few centuries ago he was murdering travelers for stumbling just a few steps too close to his prized hoard.
“But I just woke up.” You protest, upset at the sleepiness of the afternoon that was rubbing off from your draconic lover on you. “Got too much to do, can’t lay in bed all day..like you.”
You groan into the pillow as a wave of cramps hit you, only slightly set ajar by the gentle massaging of the skin above your pelvic bone.
“Hrmm.” Your boyfriend thinks, shoving his warmly snout against your neck. “I guess it’s unfortunate that I’m not going to be letting you go then. Not allowed to get up until you feel better.”
You laugh, taking one of your dragon’s toasty hands to your chest to hold onto.
“I’ll be here all week, then.”
It was here you felt the safest, the warmest, the most vulnerable and easily devourable-- well, thankfully dragon’s didn’t particularly have a taste for the flesh of humans. Shutting your eyes, you let the guttural ‘hrmm’s’ of your dragon lull you to thoughtlessness.
“If that’s what it takes..” He presses a deep kiss close to your forehead, relishing in the sweet scent of your hair. The huffs from his nose tickle the back of your ears, such petrichor warmth and humidity so reminiscent of past lazy mornings. “You’re not going anywhere, my diamond.”
#x reader#reader insert#writing#self insert#Terato#monsterfucker#monster lover#monster romance#monster boyfriend#monster fucker#monster fuqqer#monster x human#dragon#dragon x reader#draconic#dragon x human#afab reader#period comfort#comfort fic#monsters#monster fiction#monster fic#dragon fic#dragon fluff#fluff#fluff one shot
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sobbing finding out that good ol Bruce is a hoarder 😭 won’t kill his enemies, but crush em with a giant penny to take their shit
#nightwing#batman#batjokes#batkids#incorrect dc quotes#dc robin#dceu#dc rp#dc comcis#dcau#dc memes#dc batman#dp x dc#dc x dp#dc#dc fanart#dcmk#robin dc#batfam#batfam fanart#dick grayson#bruce wayne#jason todd#red robin#red hood#alfred pennyworth#batgirl#batbros#im gay#gay
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freminet never thought of himself as a valuable hostage, but here he is, ankles and wrists tied behind his back, covered in dust from being manhandled by treasure hoarders.
he sits at the edge of their campsite, guarded by two holding crossbows. a fire illuminates the half dozen shadows responsible for his capture, drunk from stolen alcohol and singing shanties off-key and off-rhythm. their crooked voices and indiscernible words echo through the air.
energy swirls around him, but without his vision, he can only observe them, can barely coalesce the cryo threads into anything tangible. they’d taken his claymore too, right after he was ambushed. only his mechanical penguin was left at the scene, so hopefully, someone would pick it up and bring attention to it.
hopefully, that someone would be one of his siblings. it seems unlikely, however, because they have a show tonight, and it's routine for freminet to wait for them at home. based on the moon’s angle, it should’ve passed the midpoint by now.
"what'll we do with him, boss?" an inquiry aimed in his direction snaps him out of his thoughts. the shadows face him. he keeps his head low, eyes hidden behind his bangs.
"a scrawny kid like him isn't gonna fetch a lot of money," another comments.
"don't let looks deceive ya. this kid is part of the royal court. they'll pay a pretty penny for him." their leader takes a swig from his silver flask and belches. the scent of alcohol surrounds them. "so don't rough him up that badly. if you bruise him, who's to say they won't toss him out?"
laughter rises after him. freminet closes his eyes to lessen the sting, but there's truth in such words. the royal court is often compared to a painting – it depicts a snapshot of bourgeoisie dressed in petticoats and silk hats, but the layers underneath are rough and muddled. only a trained eye can identify a replica from the original.
he only tolerates it because of it’s the only avenue that utilizes his oceanographic skills. without the court, he has nowhere else to go.
the men return to their drunken rambles. freminet closes his eyes, becomes enveloped by the energy around him. anemo threads weave a patchwork through the sky, and geo pulses beneath him. electro crystals spark further along the trail, wreathed by dendro. hydro runs as a smooth curtain just out of earshot, and aside from the treasure hoarders' fire, there is no other trace of pyro.
...but what is that spark of flame blazing through the trees?
"what's that?"
freminet's eyes snap open. cards are falling from the sky. he recognizes the card backs anywhere, all with his brother's cat motif.
a few of the treasure hoarders catch them to inspect. their brows are furrowed, eyes narrowed. "what are these supposed to be?"
"your demise."
such a voice sends a shiver down freminet's spine, low with malice. the cards explode into smoke and the campfire flares. a powerful gust of wind sends smog across the clearing. a shadow approaches him as the guards dash into the fray.
"big sis?"
lynette materializes with a finger to her lips. with a snap of her wrist, she produces a pocketknife to slice through his ropes. "are you hurt?"
he shakes his head. the barest smile touches her lips. "good. do you know where they put your vision?"
"no."
"okay. i'll find it. keep still."
ahead of them, chaos has broken out. flame-tipped arrows fly in all directions, embedding into the ground and nearby trees. the treasure hoarders retaliate, from elemental bombs, shovels, and crossbows. there are shouts, grunts, cries. his brother is relentless.
the ropes fall slack. freminet rubs his chaffed wrists and takes lynette's hand to pull himself up. she manifests her sword and raises a hand to dispel the smoke. the fire is snuffed out, but lyney remains illuminated by his pyro.
it isn't common for freminet to see him fight. he knows his brother is adept with a bow, but it's frightening to see the extent of it.
cards fly in the air, snatching the treasure hoarders’ attention. a split second is all lyney needs to kick down his enemies and disarm them. he knocks them unconscious with a blow to the head, avoids all attacks that come his way. his top hat never wavers, just like the fire in his eyes. the moon serves as his spotlight.
lynette takes the rope and starts binding the unconscious treasure hoarders together. as the last one crumples to the ground, lyney dusts his hands off. "the curtain has fallen over another failure. enjoy your time in the cell block."
"they can't hear you," lynette comments mildly.
"it's stage commentary, my dear." lyney dismisses his bow and turns to freminet, scrutinizing him under a watchful eye. "you're not hurt?"
"no."
"bruises? cuts? elemental exhaustion?"
he shakes his head. lynette calls out, "one of the hoarders took his vision."
"you mean this?" lyney snaps his fingers and produces a cryo vision in his palm. "your claymore is over there. best to take that back before the police does.”
freminet fumbles to catch his vision. he fastens it back to his pant leg, stiffening when a hand rests on his shoulder, followed by a low murmur. “i’m sorry this happened in the first place.”
“oh…it just happened. it couldn’t have been predicted.” freminet shakes him off, raising his arm to clutch the opposite elbow. “i thought…i thought you wouldn’t come since you had a show…”
"we canceled it. how could we perform knowing our little brother is in danger? no matter where you are, if you're in trouble, we'll come." lyney smiles at him. "promise."
once the criminals are bound together, the siblings depart, already sensing the police's arrival. freminet walks between his older siblings, flanked by either side. no matter what awaits them, he knows that they'll always have one another.
#genshin impact#text#flyingwargle original#drabble#genshin drabble#freminet#lyney#lynette#fontaine siblings#canon typical violence#i am unstoppable
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Magpie! Tokoyami x Keepsake hoarder! Reader
Tokoyami loves shiny things, whether it be coins, jewelry, or even rocks. Loves precious metals and vintage pieces. He regularly takes you on dates to vintage malls and picks out shiny things to give you and you keep everything he's ever given you. He also keeps a box of crystals, rocks, and shells under his bed that he finds outside and he gives you them between those dates.
Your favorite things he's given you have been a hay penny, a vintage cameo brooch with a broken pin, an old bronze jewelry box with a busted hinge, and half a iridescent clamshell he found on the beach during a class trip.
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300,000 pennies should do it. Which is an absurd number of coins but not that much money tbh.
We need to start minting because coins >>> paper money.
i hope this doesn’t ruin it for people who are into the money part of it..
i want to fill a bathtub with coins like scrooge mcduck at some point. i want to so bad
#this is based on a 60 gallon tub which google says is average#and weird penny hoarder on a forum says approximately 25000 pennies fit in a 5 gallon bucket
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The Little Prince Prompts Vol. 1 !
30 Sentences pulled from the 2015 movie " The Little Prince " by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry ! Adjust where needed !
" Why should anyone be frightened of a hat? "
" Grown-ups. They never understand anything by themselves. "
" I have always wanted to find someone to share my story with... "
" A real smile, sweetie. Show your teeth ! "
" What do you want to be when you grow up? "
" Is it too late for a Plan C? "
" We're not leaving anything to chance. "
" Where did you get the pennies? "
" What kind of a nut keeps an aeroplane, and actually starts it, in his backyard ?! "
" Wow. This is a pretty serious fire hazard. "
" As time goes by, some things just kind of stick to you. "
" I'm a hoarder. A bit of a hoarder. "
" He can't answer you... I keep meaning to sew him a mouth ! "
" I'm fine, this happens sometimes. "
" I was down here for three days. "
" That's why I always keep a bologna sandwich in my pocket. "
" I think I'm bologna intolerant. "
" It's going to be a clear night. The stars will be out soon. "
" For if you intervene too late... Catastrophe ! "
" I know you'll be miraculous. I know you will. "
" Forgive me, I'm still quite disheveled. "
" Of course I love you. If you're not aware of that, it's my fault. "
" Do you really admire me very much? "
" Do me this kindness and... Admire me just the same, please. "
" We're going to have to amputate them. "
" To me, you will be unique in all the world. "
" What is essential is invisible to the eye. "
" I thought I'd never find anyone who wanted to hear my story. "
" Well, everyone has to say goodbye sooner or later. "
" I know a great place where we can get free pancakes on your birthday ! "
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Not Arthurian—but in the process of transferring my entire films/shows collection to MEGA drive and could share it if there’s interest. I say this as there may be some crossover of interest here for you followers as a lot of it is fantasy, horror, history, and cartoons. It’s a lot of stuff that has inspired me as a creator so I want to keep track of it.
I have every Tolkien-universe film or show ever made including the old animated ones and the Soviet one all the way up to Rings of Power. I have every Sonic the Hedgehog tv show or film from Sonic Underground to the newish Sonic Prime show and second film awaiting the third. All The Addam’s Family from the black and white live action and the 90s films up to the new animated films, every Blair Witch project even the bad ones, biopics on Tolkien, Elton John, Freddie Mercury etc. lots of vampire films from classic Nosferatu to The Little Vampire and the Twilight Saga, all of Black Sails, Castlevania, Penny Dreadful, Willow the 80s movie and the 2022 show they deleted off Disney+, same with Dark Crystal both the 80s film and the 2019 show.
And in the spirit of Halloween, I’m currently grabbing both Hocus Pocus films, fun witch movies from the 90s like Practical Magic, and a variety of horror like The Craft and Saw and Nightmare on Elm Street. You get the idea.
I’m a digital hoarder, we know this, but might as well use up the space on MEGA drive I pay for and will never ever fill with Arthuriana there simply isn’t enough. If anyone wants this stuff just let me know, I got you.
#I <3 movies#this way you guys don’t have to torrent don’t worry about it just get it here one stop shop lol#my post
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I rescued a village of sentient coins from a hoarder goblin attack!
And you know what they say, a penny saved is a penny earned
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mini rambles #1
LISTEN I GOT COVID DON'T @ ME RN ALRIGHT.
okey cool back to me yapping as i continue to procrastinate Inazuma b/c FuCk InAzUmA
[ The Dainsleif Quest ]
Kaeya met Dainsleif here b/c he goes w/ Lumi just abt everywhere
yes i know they actually canonically meet later, dw abt it, i've already thought through e v e r y t h i n g
i'm just gonna say it. dainsleif doesn't help us as much as everyone says he does. he told us just as much abt our sibling as anyone else, the only difference is that he's actually met our sibling.
lumi has emotional turmoil abt 90% of the time whenever she hears abt her sibling, once again, being apart of the abyss order. it succ. why is this happening, bro
also the inverted statue was Fucking Terrifying(tm) to Lumi due to how she vibes w/ the world (and how i've h/c'd it so far), so yeah, that was a tummy twister right there.
[ Outside of Dainsleif Quest ]
while waiting for a Sign(tm) abt Inazuma, Lumi and Kaeya proceed to do the following:
solve a Ruin Guard problem in Liyue
somehow managed to keep Klee out of trouble for the most part in Mondstadt
run into and meet Mona (who found them both Particularly Interesting)
hang out a lot w/ Zhongli now that he's free to do things
discover that Third Round Knockout has discounts at 3pm b/c Zhongli likes to go there like every fuckin day. very nice.
meet Yun-Jin, Beidou, and Shenhe
fix the Jade Chamber
made a lot of pirate jokes abt Beidou (and Kaeya, on Lumi's part)
broke a mechanism in Liyue three times, much to Cloud Retainer's annoyance (don't ask)
became probably the most yapped abt duo in Liyue and Mondstadt combined (not for the reasons u'd think, they're known as "the Brats")
became well-known in Treasure Hoarder circles for a completely different reason from being "the Brats". if u mention the Traveler or her Mondstadt envoy around them, they either break out into a cold sweat and start shaking or they actively disappear. no one is sure why. Lumine and Kaeya do not elaborate.
have had to keep Paimon from breaking into the Golden House (four times, now).
obtained the Serenitea pot. Lumi couldn't figure out how to utilize it for a hot minute, which prompted a three day long journey into figuring out JUST what the fuck they needed to make a fucking bed.
[ Other Bits and Baubles I wanna Mention ]
Kaeya has had to keep Lumine from falling from like seven different scams. not b/c she's an idiot, but more b/c she likes to see how far the scammer is willing to go and tends to go overboard.
Lumine has become an insane penny pincher in a short amount of time. Kaeya is slightly intimidated by this; he's not sure how she keeps track of the Mora they get so meticulously--it's not like she's taking notes every time she collects a coin??? how the fuck does she know exactly where that 49 Mora came from????
Zhongli is often working at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor rn, giving the whole "normal dude" thing a try. He goes to Third Round Knockout every day at like 3pm (b/c they have discounts at that time and it's peak story telling time), and Lumi and Kaeya never miss a chance to sit in with him.
Paimon is a feral toddler who's OBSESSED w/ food. Lumine struggling to keep up w/ her demands but it's fine she's discovered the Frozen King Pig in Dragonspine. Also Xiangling sometimes stops by to cook for them now (Mondstadt was wild y'all).
Kaeya and Lumi work to build up their very tiny teapot abode during the small moments they have between adventuring and helping people out. It's ain't much but it's honest work.
#genshin headcanons#lumine genshin impact#kaeya genshin impact#zhongli genshin impact#brain worms#kaeya headcanons#lumine headcanons#zhongli headcanons#i am thinking abt them#and avoiding inazuma#and still recovering#fuck covid btw guys#but fr i love the early game vibes that come from Monds. and Liyue#like#think abt it#they've fought a dragon#and an old God#and shit's getting pretty real#but they've got each other#and shit hasn't hit the fan yet#and plus they really like their friends#and each other#and Zhongli b/c he's cute#they're hooligans#and i'm here for it#anyway#i'll try to stop stalling on Inazuma#but fuck u#i'm a procrastinator through and through#anyway i shall perish
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