#the other two can't communicate for SHIT
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anxcietmus is the one braincell being passed around and nobody catching it
#say what you want about remus#the other two can't communicate for SHIT#they are toddlers on an emotional level#those are the facts#remus is marginally better#they are stupid your honor#ts remus#ts janus#ts virgil#virgil sanders#remus sanders#janus sanders#sanders sides#anxcietmus
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BNHA Fanfic idea that won't leave me alone:
All for one is Midoriya Hizashi, but...
Nobody knows. Like, literally, nobody knows. Inko never figured out his identity, and with him getting busier after Izuku's fifth birthday it looks like he left bc he's quirkless, so she never much cared for trying to find him and neither did Izuku. All pictures of him are banished into a box in her closet and haven't seen the light of day since Izuku was six or so, when they had a fight over the telephone over him wanting to fix Izuku.
AFO himself suffered obviously a lot of head trauma when fighting All Might, and this gave him partial amnesia. He has no or only very few memories of the decade or so prior to the battle, so he has none regarding his family that he meticulously kept from everyone else's awareness, including the Doctor's. He does see the monthly payment to Inko but assumes it's from a bribe or keeping a corrupt official in his pocket. Given that he can't recall whom it's to and immortality made him extremely wealthy, he doesn't cut it off, nor tries to follow it and make the memory loss obvious.
The only one who does know?
The ghost of Yoichi, who suddenly had another person he could haunt and went to see what's going on. Maybe throw in Nana too, if you want Inko to secretly be a Shimura.
Cue Yoichi fretting over his baby nephew the very moment Izuku gets OFA, up to and including giving him in-depth instructions on how to use the quirk and helping him manage it without harm to him while the other vestiges (minus Nana) are busy laughing their asses off.
#boku no hero acedamia#bnha#prompt#i haven’t seen a fic with this premise before and i want it#everyone is constantly two steps away from figuring it out but bc their communication skills are canonically shit they don't#yoichi has several heart attacks caused by Izuku doing reckless stuff#like confronting Stain and fighting Overhaul at full power with Eri on his back#he is consistently twenty seconds away from figuring out how to manifest simply so he can yell at the adults#another source of great amusement for the other vestiges: mother hen yoichi#though Nana is probably agreeing with him regardless of if Inko is her daughter#the vestiges see the Quirk Analysis and are suddenly very glad AFO can't remember Izuku and Inko#Yoichi deliberately went to haunt AFO for a while after the fight and learned of it#he does periodically check that he still can’t remember#especially after the times Izuku either interacts with the League/Shigaraki or makes the news#just in case#his nephew is his now#got the quirk and everything
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Just went to uni and instead of doing anything spent 3h agonising about ending my relationship. I'm sure this is good and normal
#it. idk I just don't really wanna be single rn and deal with all of that#and also I have silvester and first new year weekend plans hinging on this person and I kinda really don't want to find something else to do#but by god#I mean maybe my expectations are just too high as to how much I see my partner (doubtful)#or her lifestyle (has a shitton of things going on) and personality (not super communicative) are just not suited for polyamory#(and I have the same problems but I'm not the person who has two partners)#(and the fact that I can't really get a read whatsoever on her other partner is not helpful. like we vibe on occasion but mostly#I just do not get him at all)#but idk. like. we see each other like twice a week and those are like. during dance and for a pubquiz#and maybe going to the library#and it's just like to my expectations we are barely doing the bare minimum I need to have my emotional needs met#so whenever something falls through I am immediately devastated#but again I feel like 'I would like to see you outside of a social engagement with our friends at least once a week#and additionally also would like to sleep in the same bed as you at least once a week' are not high expectations whatsoever#and yet ....#when did we last have sex? Oh idk in october? maybe? I don't remember#which is that super important to me in a relationship? no. but like I don't think it's bc neither of us is interested#it's bc since then we have not managed to sleep in the same bed while neither of us was either on their period or extremely tired#and idk maybe I should write this to them instead of like. venting on tumblr. like this is also very much on me#but like#idk maybe it just also is a sign that maybe I don't care so much about this relationship. but also I feel like I still care more than her.#which isn't great#idk advice?#it's just. this current situation has me regularly having several hour breakdowns bc shit's not working out once again.#and that situation I really don't like
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Which is your favourite and least favourite harry potter book?
while i think Prisoner of Azkaban is the best on a technical level, my favorite is Goblet of Fire. because it's a fucking blockbuster. like, this is a book that is firing on all cylinders, trying to do a million billion things at once, and it executes the fuck out of basically everything. besides the fact that it dives deeper into character dynamics than any previous book (ron and harry! hermione and ron! hermione and krum! sirius and harry! ron and percy! etc!!), it's a massive expansion of the universe: it opens up whole new wizarding hemispheres, new countries, new cultures, TONS of new characters, the Quidditch World Cup, the Triwizard Tournament, the Ministry of Magic's bureaucratic politics, the Old Guard death eaters, and the beginning of the Order of the Phoenix. it gives us Fleur and Krum and Mad-Eye Moody and Cho and Cedric and Charlie Weasley, and the first taste of Snape's backstory, not to mention pensieves and mermaids and fucking dragons, like sorry, are you seeing this shit??
and then, finally, it gives us the beginning of the second wizarding war. it gives us the graveyard scene and Cedric Diggory's sacrifice, one of the best and most important moments in any book ever, because it's the whole story in a nutshell, and it's also the moment that the plot starts. Goblet is the crux of the entire series, and it nails almost everything. (the exception being the Moody plot twist, which... I did not love, but like: must a conclusion be "good"? is it not simply enough for a story to plow headfirst off the rails in a wildly entertaining direction, and then end? i think it is.)
so those are what I see as the Objective Goods of Goblet. my Subjective Goods are: i love a tournament arc, i love a GAME, i love a set of rules and rituals and ceremonies and opportunities to demonstrate character through contrasting behavior in response to pre-ordained challenges and rule sets. i love you Yule Ball, i love you prom arc, i love you dressing characters up in silly little outfits and making them take each other on dates, i love you teenage drama and misunderstandings and jealousy and teenybopper romantic subplots. i love you goblet of fire.
#least favorite is easily deathly hallows#i've bitched about it on here before but deathly hallows just misunderstands the story that it's ending#in a way that is almost unforgivable as the last note for a series#you can't just end your seven-book saga about the world-saving potential of love and community by having your protagonist#take off on his own with only two people and bitch at them for 200 pages#reject help at every opportunity refuse to tell any of his adoptive family shit#have a war happen 95% off-page and then end with a Big Damn Battle where your protagonist becomes a christ allegory#basically solidifying the idea that no actually this guy was just Super Special all along#and the community was nice but really it was All About This One Guy fighting This Other Guy! no politics no themes here folks!#andnowtheyallhavebabies BYE!!#like sorry. L denouement bro
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There's honestly... just so many people, just so so so so so many people in this world where I'm like... aren't you people tired of this fucking... you know, I was going to call them clowns but that's really disrespectful to clowns, these people could never get their face on an egg...
Anyway, aren't you tired of this childish jackass? Don't you just want to ignore them and never have to hear about them again? If we just ignored them they legitimately would go away... don't you want that?
And this applies to... just ungodly amounts of people, from jake paul to even elon musk (just... don't touch his shit, he'll run out of money eventually with how bad he is with it), to just... name an annoying famous person and you'll name someone I've literally forgotten right now that I could never have to hear about again if people would just ignore them (unless they committed crimes, investigators are welcome to pay attention while gathering a case)
Yet the answer's always "no, we're paying so much attention to them!" and I'm just like... why? Why would you watch jake paul box? I heard about that and was like "he's still doing that shit?", and yet I guess it made a lot of money yet again and it's just like... ignore him
These people could go away, and yet
#to be blunt this is also very very very much about trump#the best part of all if he'd lost is how I'd never have had to see or hear about his loser ass again#and you people couldn't even manage that (collective you; not you personally... unless you're Pennsylvanian basically)#like he's insufferable... unless you're a die hard fan of him you know he's just stupid and annoying#why would you want to hear a washed up reality star for four more fucking years?#we could ignore these people hard enough to make them go away#and yet I'll be stuck having to hear him say shit about Hannibal or whatever for four more years cause you couldn't do that#I'm so sick of it; I honestly am#jake paul could have been ignored into obscurity like a decade ago; and yet he's able to launch a scam with mr beast#like dear god... can't you people find something better to do than watch these people? ...like watch paint dry?#it's not just people; it's every live action disney remake; it's... it's just all of it... fucking ai#can't you people fucking ignore it? can't you just kinda boo when it shows up and then forget about it?#I get someone like elon is a toddler that needs an eye kept on him to make sure he's not breaking shit but like...#we could just not buy his cars... which... like... doesn't seem like a hard ask given how badly they're manufactured#again... weirdos on tumblr; I'm doubting you're to blame for most of this#but just like... could we just for the love of god let the stupid shit die out you losers?#I'm not even... I'm not even joking here; this isn't like a goof; this is a prescription#nfts die if literally everyone ignores them; live action remakes die if no one watches them; elon goes bankrupt if no one buys from him#(also gets really sad because he's a massive attention seeker; and that's pretty funny so bonus)#why do I still have to hear about jake paul other than like... 'he's been arrested for fraud' or something reasonable?#could have been done with him years ago... like maybe if you kept around one or two bad habits but... like the lootboxes couldn't go?#tune in; turn on; drop out... this part here; I'm asking you to do the drop out part#drop out of society and stop playing their bullshit games#pay attention; be engaged with the world and your community as best you can; and just stop... stop giving this shit oxygen#but again... if this isn't hitting the void it's probably hitting the choir... you're not an oaf on twitter sucking this stuff up#but fuck me... worry over tariffs and other shit aside; concrete quantifiable worries I can lay out I might add#for the people who act like it's just sky is falling mentality; nah... I can expressly say what and why I worry about come january#but all that aside... you couldn't have voted against him just... just to never hear his annoying ass again?#not saying harris would have been good or bad or anything else... I'm saying she would have been a fuck of a lot less annoying#and like... you gave elon a win too... the two most annoying people on the planet and ya couldn't just... not
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genunely sometimes do not know how to cope with the world being so cold and bureacratic and people who withold care and essential rights to people over arbitrary rules and money and
#i was a psych appointment the other day on telehealth#and my phone is old so it couldnt do the video call on there#and for some reason my laptop camera wasnt working#and the psychiatrist was like mmm yeah :/ ur cam's off so I cant do this appointment#and I was like ?? hm?#and she was like :/ yeah no this is a phone call not a video chat#and I was like ???? im still on ur portal we're chatting rn like what do you mean#and she was like ! sorry it's the insurance who insists on it#and i was like ?? how would the insurance know whether I was cams on or not#and shes like :/// yeah no cant lie to the insurance people sorry#like I've explained to you my technological limitations are very much tied to financial limitations#and you'd rather abide by made up insurance rules than talk to someone and provide them care they need#how am I not supposed to go feral#I can't go in public without someone getting crazy mad while driving or harassing me for being trans#like really and truly how am I supposed to navigate this world without losing my shit#and it's such a weird binary too of having many lovely people in my life and having community and people who love me and will help me#and like how can humans be so wonderful and kind and soft but also so cold and distant and unflinching#how do i recon with it all!!!!#and so so much frustration in my life just comes to problems that could easily be solved with money#like my dog keeps ripping up my trash bags and making messes every day for me to come home to#and if I had $50 for a locking trash can or like money to get her care while I was gone then this wouldnt happen#but I literally pay all my bills and have like $20 left over every pay cycle if im lucky#and I totally recognize like even this is heads and shoulders above what some people have and I am so grateful to have a car and an apartme#t#and to be able to properly care for my pets but like god damn#why am I spending all my waking hours and energy at a job when I don't even have any god damn money or financial security at the end of the#day#stupid academic voice and I have two masters#anyways#personal
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Me looking at Tumblr : Transfems and Transmascs at each other's throats and being vile to one another.
Me an AFAB nonbinary person who doesn't plan to transition who would be eradicated if I spoke my opinion :
#this person is a deviant#therefore any abuse is fine#discourse#i apologize for being a vague twitter but as a person who know those two people very vaguely i have Thoughts#unfortunatly i have to be a fucking centrist#but there is one side i do prefer because one side has deviated from the actual thing that matter to play the card like nooooooo#can we like not go back to early internet shit like this cant we actually have arguments instead#but i can't fully agree with the other side because of one thing so it's like#yeah man idk what to tell you all#btw i do think i do have a bit of priviledge#as someone who doesn't suffer a lot of gender dysphoria and its also why i don't feel like fully spreading my opinion (that and I doubt it#would be welcomed by either party understandably bc i'm some random bitch)#at least one positive thing is that this is a good way to build my own opinion on gender and misoginy in the trans community
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oh my god i just finished the dark forest finally. 7/10 i suppose, i went through the first half or so of the book being really annoyed by luo ji but also enjoying the chapters where he shows up because unfortunately he was entertaining. still don't understand the imaginary girlfriend thing, it just feels like he needs someone to protect from the world which like ??? ok sure i guess, it just rubs me the wrong way personally. for the second half and especially the end i became luo ji's number one defender it's fine. for the rest, holy crap—the droplet, the microcosm of the universe on those runaway ships, the wallfacer project, luo ji drawing from rey diaz's plan, the attitude of the world towards him, the entire theory... wow
#i dont even know my brain's exploding#i don't think it's an incredibly great plot per se but it's enough to keep me interested and the concepts are interesting and thats enough#again shi qiang the mandatory emotional support. i was so touched when he said goodbye to luo ji even tho it was just a false alarm#also dongfang yanxu (btw her name??? homophone for 'the east lives on'??) and those two other captains using just their eyes to#communicate just like zhuang yan imagined... ough and then all that destruction#三体#tbh was reminded of the trisolarians when zhang beihai started waxing on about the new morals the new humanity might have#make judgements without feeling and yet it killed him in the end#generally the moment luo ji wakes up and is almost killed 6 times (kind of funny tbh) shit literally just kept happening#also @ great depression 2. like the great ravine or smth? idk it felt close to cultural rev 2. greenpeace as a 人奸 organization💀💀💀💀💀💀#the aesthetics of trisolarians are great tho. first the droplet then the giant signaling device they send#so beautiful its something humans can't even imagine is a nice description. reminds me illogically of eschers art#王明军 the audiobook reader needs like 10 million awards actually. i feel like i didn't really think abt it when listening to book 1#but his voice and narration is really good he reads with feeling which is incredible for when i dont want to keep reading#my post#i was very touched at the end tho he really said i'll become an alcoholic#the wallfacer project and its tolls on the saviors of the world or something#also a surprising amount of christianity references i feel#idk tho#three body problem#main gripes were that the switching of perspectives bored me lol the three retired old grandpas were alright#but i was bored out of my mind at zhang beihai's pov before shit started going down sorry dude#it annoys me how grandpas + chang weisi and all those other people kind of just get written out but i suppose this is not the target f#for science fiction anyways??
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Okay after that comic I tagged you in yesterday. I can't stop thinking of Hades using a crow to see through it's eyes and check on Persephone. And her noticing his energy in it and just smiling and sitting in front of it doing what she was. Then kissing the crows little head to let him know she knew before slipping away in to the woods. And you cut to Hades literally just a happy giddy little puddle of joy in the underworld 😂. Though who could blame him knowing his has the heart of such a beautiful and powerful creature all to himself 😌.
Lmaooo this is cute af!! Oh Hades being his romantic self xD and agreed, the joy she brings him is unparalleled ~
and of course she'd know, she'd sense his energy anywhere - those rascals are just one being split into two c:
i think that's one of the reasons why i love them so much - as different as they may be, they also are very much alike; their views and priorities and that fire within is the same.... they are equals through and through.
#and also they bring out certain qualities in each other that they previously didn't realize were laying dormant. aaahhh those two#but yes i picture them communicating via whatever means necessary during those months apart#and perhaps Hades paying surprise secret visits to Persephone all thanks to that invisibility helmet he owns 😌#Demeter doesn't need to know shit lmao. they're so sneaky but it's because they can't stay away from each other :D#this really was adorable thank you for sharing dude!!! c:#asks
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I snapped today at work, and by snapped I mean I politely commented on a help desk ticket by summing up an mess of an (type of) issue that's come up for at least the fourth time in the 2+ months I've been managing user accounts, and asked the person responsible to fix it (himself for once) because last time I fixed his mess-up it took me two whole days to work out the details with at least four other colleagues from different departments and I really don't want to do it again. there's other shit that needs doing, I've been working 10+ hour days for most of this week already, so I need to cut down not add on more.
(good thing tho - at least we managed to fix the issue where the dataset of a newer employee got mixed up with another one of the same name and therefore wasn't able to apply for any of the access/accounts she needed. technically not entirely my area but it does impact us not being allowed to create an account for her so I figured I might as well track that issue down. took three days and at least three other people, but hey - it should all work out now. yay for that)
#been feeling anxious af ever since bc it's the first time I've been this firm in a reply and idk how they'll take it#there's underlying issues in inter-departmental communication that need fixing that cause these issues to happen again and again#but my boss is on parental leave and his substitute is sick not that she cares or is up for doing her job where communication is concerned#so there's no real sense in addressing that rn esp by me who's only been there since June. but it does frustrate me a lot#anyway. I'm sure I'll get over this too. but yeah.. ppl not thinking things through for the two mins it takes to create an account#or the twenty seconds it takes to check if one already exists before creating a new one#or the minute it takes to check if folks still have an active contract past their time working in your department before deleting an accoun#just jfc. put in a smidge of effort and five mins total and save the rest of us from spending half a day to fix your mistake#oh well. if I get a pissy response I'll just blame it on being new as an intern and being too motivated and idealistic I guess#god forbid I expect people to do their jobs thoroughly or with at least a singular thought..#anyway. I feel like I'm allowed to be grumpy abt this since we are the folks who end up having to fix this shit#and by we I mean pretty much mostly me at this point bc one colleague is sick atm. my boss barely has time for this and is on leave#and my other colleague only works half time so I'm the one who's been handling most of these over the past month or so#which.. is still insane considering how I'm a goddamn intern who shouldn't even have admin rights tbh#but without them I couldn't do anything at all lol so here I am. nice that they trust and believe in me I suppose#that's why I try to do my best. (who am I kidding that's always the case anyway)#but yeah. definitely a 50% staff support job and only 50% of the other important things that need doing rn it's more like 90/10#and it's funny how I still dread my two hours of hotline. but every time the line is too busy I still jump in#we are also only 6 people atm out of 10 and three of us are still in training. and one of the trained folks had to come back in mid time of#next week we'll likely be 4#depending on if our substitute boss lady is back.. not that I'd look forward to it. she's a mess and she's been horrible to deal with latel#sure. she's stressed. but she's either snapping at me when I ask abt shit I can't know yet or she's ignoring me. great basis for team work.#so honestly I'd rather she not return on Monday. esp not if she's gonna spread her germs everywhere#but now sleep. sorry for the rant. it's certainly been quite the month since I returned from my own wisdom tooth rated sick leave..#gotta be up again in 6.5 hrs so I can be at work at 6 to let the electrician in. I'm gonna sleep so hard over the weekend I stg#a day in the life of..
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one of my main takeaways from the er dlc is that the "adding difficulty settings would compromise our vision of the game" thing is just complete bullshit coming from the devs (not that that wasn't already obvious)
because they added that! the fragment level up system as implemented was not ideal and was actually there to make the gameplay harder rather than easier (as in getting all the fragments felt like it was tuned for the base difficulty and scaled up difficulty the less you got rather than letting some people have an easier time) but they did very much add a way to scale difficulty and there are plenty of ways they could expand off that system to let players make things easier if they chose to (no one is making you use those fragments buddy)
i don't think they're ever going to do that, but now they've kneecapped their own argument for doing so and just made the whole premise of it dumber
#it wouldn't fix some of the other issues going on with the way their gameplay has evolved#phase two of the final boss had even some of the most obnoxious from soft fanboys complaining#and it felt like the culmination of all the things they've been doing to make the games less fun for the sake of being 'hard'#but also issues like so many vfx you can't see your fckin screen and your frame rate goes to shit#the hair issue in the last fight#hitboxes reminiscent of ds2 (some of which they fixed)#relying so much more on reaction speed than on observation and learning#fights that really eff over specific builds in a game where not having a specialized build doesn't really fly#i loved a few of the bosses from the dlc#but some of the others really felt like they underscored everything that i hate about where the franchise has gone#ermp#mp#tried hard to keep this out of tags and searches lol#the community for these games is so awful#i do think from soft has run into a wall with their boss difficulty design#like i said above the ways they're trying to make bosses harder are kinda ass and it seems like they don't know how else to go#but want to promise fights that are harder every single release#and making bosses almost impossible to dodge and not give you openings for healing is kind of a dead end#so where do they go from there
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oh my god how do people finish this book loving the main characters I'm ready to throw hands with both of them constantly I don't care if Andrew keeps knives in his sleeves
#all for the game#genuinely i hate them#side characters are carrying this for me#neil needs to stfu like all the time babe stop pushing your unhealthy trauma response on others it's not your job to communicate for andrew#he's an adult he can tell his brother shit for himself#also you can't judge aaron for making an assumption based on the facts he had???#like andrew never communicates and they're all just supposed to fucking guess???#genuinely have to stop every three seconds to get pissed off but I am almost finished book two
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sometimes I truly genuinely forget nuance is dead on the internet and then I have to read people who should be on the same side argue about politics on the internet and I start wanting to bash my head into a wall.
#damien.txt#ohhh my god. rattling the bars of my cage. lesser of two evils is a real and true concept.#revolution and changing a fucking country and keeping marginalized people alive takes many different forms#and guess what! voting for the 'somewhat lesser right wing' president over the 'extremely right wing' president IS one of those forms!#change is not going to happen because you voted third party or didn't fucking vote. it is actively going to make things worse actually#truly i think half the people making these comments have no idea how the us government works.#revolutions and protests and community projects and other revolutionary activity i wont explicitly name here will change things. and we#should also be doing that. but we can't just sink into the idealism of those things and ignore the actions we can take around us in reality#and in our reality at this moment. truly. voting strategically to keep republicans out of office is critical.#do you know why the government has been particularly shit the past couple years? sure yeah biden is a shit president and that's part of it#but also. thinking back to 2017-2020. when trump appointed all those conservative right wing people#to positions that opened up. like the supreme court justices. and laws and things started to take a downturn?#whoa..... almost like.... we should prevent that from happening again..... like that was Bad or something......#im truly begging you to take a look at project 2025 and see if that's something you're willing to risk#'im still not voting for joe he supports genocide' cool i guess. hope you enjoy your moral superiority complex. let me know how you plan#to actually do anything about the genocide anyways.#politics
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Ancient Aliens may be my guitly pleasure, but sometimes, it gets too stupid to watch.
#how come people taking this same drug have the same symptoms from it#it must be because aliens are using it to communicate with us#definitelly not because the drug works on the brain a specific way that makes people see similar weird shit#how could they figure out to put lintels over the doorways you need calculus for that#must have been built by the aliens#definitelly not because you don't need to know the precise math of how it works to do it#or because the doorway would collapse under the weight of the material above it otherwise#they passed a lie detector test so they must be telling the truth#because lie detectors are not pretty much bullshit#also false memories are definitelly not a thing and people can't genuinely believe something that isn't actually true#hmm these two mythologies share a lot of similarities#must mean the mythologies are talking about real events#because these two civilisations were like a month of walking or a few week boat ride away from each other#there's no way they could have interracted that's too far away#lies drugs mental illnesses metaphors and embellishments are not a thing#everything said in mythology is 100% true accounts of misunderstood aliens#couldn't be anything else#'this person was a known drunk and drug user' 'they claimed to regularly fight demons' wow I wonder if that could be related in any way#so dumb#like sure a lot of historical mysteries could be solved if the right perspective was applied to them#but I highly doubt that 'college educated western white men' are an underrepresented perspective in historical research#which is like 99% of what they offer#'how could people do this without alien help' IDK do you need aliens to put your pants on for you in the morning?#zippers are such an advanced technology after all#sorry rant over
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Okay I am LEGIT convinced that Splatoon 3 is just out to make you miserable and finds pleasure in ur failure I LITERALLY HAD PERFECT RAINMAKER GAMES I WON 4 TIMES IN A ROW EASY but then I magically get put on teams that just LOSE and lose 3 times afterwards but I still got to the Rank Up Battle AND THEN LOST 3 TIMES IN A ROW BECAUSE IT LITERALLY PUT ME ON THE SAME TEAM I LOST WITH THREE TIMES EVEN THO I LEFT BECAUSE THE TEAM WAS NOT GOOD !!!!!
#LISTEN I like Splatoon and I'm fine with losing games EXCEPT WHEN THE TEAM FUCKING SUCKS AND JUST#DOESN'T EXIST !! LIKE WHENEVER I'M PUSHING FOWARD MY TEAM DOESN'T EXIST so I try and back off wait for them to come back#AND THEN TWO OF THEM DIE INSTANTLY and then instead of INKING OUR BASE SO THAT WE CAN PUSH BACK UP AFTER I KILL THEM ALL#THEY JUST GO OFF INTO FUCKIN NARNIA TO CHARGE THEIR SPECIAL WHEN THERE IS LITERALLY ENEMY INK IN OUR BASE#THAT THEY COULD USE TO CHARGE THEIR SPECIAL and then by the time they charge their special the whole enemy team is back#I try to push foward to kill them so we don't lose lead AND MY TEAM FALLS BACK INTO SPAWN LIKE THEY ARE AS FAR BACK AS CAN BE#THE ENEMY HASN'T EVEN GOTTEN THAT CLOSE YET BUT THEY REFUSE TO CLOSE THE SPACE !!!!!!#and ALWAYS whenever I have the Rainmaker my team never goes in front of me they just stand behind me cuz they're SCARED#and they RUN AWAY instead of PROTECT ME !!!!#oh man I could go on and on honestly like SoloQ is hell it's just actual hell bro#it didn't use to be THIS BAD but it is BAD now#like I was playing Rainmaker and I can carry really well in that mode but HOLY SHIT TOWER CONTROL LIKE DON'T EVEN BOTHER BRO#EVERYONE JUST RUNS AWAY FROM THE TOWER I DO NOT GET IT !!! the enemy is literally advancing to the next checkpoint and my team goes#TO THE COMPLETE OTHER SIDE SO THAT THEY CAN'T REACH THE TOWER and then DIE INSTANTLY#I don't know man I do NOT know#I played some Clam Blitz cuz Tower Control was THAT BAD BRO which tbf I actually like Clam Blitz it's just#hard to communicate with ur team in SoloQ so it's hard to tell when I try and make a push foward if my team will follow or not#which everyone was actually pretty good about it! I lost 3 outta the 4 games I played but I actually had FUN#well except for the first one cuz there was an annoying dude and I was playing a weapon I'm not very good at if I don't warm up first#the other 2 games I lost I know at least one we made an amazing push at the beginning but then we got Clam Blitz @ the end#if you know you know#and the game I won MAN that was an amazing game honestly such a cooperative team they were always there right behind me#and when I used my walls and special they all pushed forward and I was stalling the basket MAN it was fun#but like LITERALLY I'm fine with losing games as long as it was fun and everyone was y'know actually playing as a team#and also if the other team is just actually really good like I cannot fault my team for that we just got unlucky lmao#but MAN I just think the ranking system in Splatoon 3 is supperrr broken I have seen people in S+ and X rank who LITERALLY#not even joking they literally looked like they had just picked up the game that same day they were LEGIT playing like a noob#NO idea how they can manage their way up the ranks like that like how did that happen#anyway I just had to blow off some steam cuz I really really like playing Splatoon but it is just really really REALLY shit right now ngl#I want to keep playing cuz I know it can be super fun but it is really pissing me off a lot lately especially with the disconnection issues
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anyway spent a significant portion of therapy talking about a former publishing friend got to the end of my stories and my therapist stopped me and just went 'all of that was her projecting her own toxicity onto you, you get that right?'
me: n.o. i did. not get tha.t .
#no actually i just internalized all the fucking insane shit she said to me at the time#so.#hm#so. like. maybe it wasn't my fault that she got mad at me for not knowing that i was supposed to apparently console her constantly when#she literally never once communicated that to me. only got mad at me for! being my usual blunt self in conversations!#then got more mad at me for not realizing she was mad at me!#i can't play these games!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway she also called me drunk when we first met even though i told her i didn' like it god man she really WAS projecting#maYBE IT WASN'T MY FAULT THAT THE OTHER PERSON BECAME FUCKING UNHINGED EVERY TIME HER EDITOR HAD THE GALL TO BUY A BOOK#WHY WAS SHE LIKE THAT#anyway two years after the fact finally touchign that garbage fire apparently#i was going to apologize for my read mores not working but then i did this in the tags so. god. sorry. sorry. sorry.
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