#the other side of the coin is... do i just write this/start putting something like this together.....

[variousqueerthings]

does anyone have recs to texts that relate to aromantic and/or asexual theory and philosophy?

everything i find/see is more "validation" or "personal testimony" and while those texts are important, they're not what im looking for.

i want to place aspec ideas of various kinds into political and cultural contexts and make arguments for their implementation as something that should influence how we think about our bodies in relationship to other bodies.

things like redefining what "relationship" means, analyses of queerplatonic, kink, community-building outside of nuclear family structures, critiques of love as first principle -- also referencing histories and placing these ideas alongside lesbian, bi, trans, gay communities (like for example "the golden orchid society")

obviously the aromantic manifesto does a bunch of heavy lifting on this front and is wonderfully challenging/in-your-face, but is there more? do we have texts like "gender outlaws"?

[writella]

Screwed Up and Brilliant

Synopsis: Negan is ready for you. Daryl isn’t; and maybe he’ll never be. Negan makes that clear to you tonight.

Details: Negan Smith x fem!reader, Daryl Dixon x fem!reader (mentioned), Negan is a bad guy but there is nuance— at least I hope I accomplished doing so, angst, guilt, forbidden love, probably super stereotypical, reader at the Sanctuary, moral dilemma reader (but you got to understand, they’re both so fine!!), I feel like I need more cws but I can’t think of them and of course, smut, 18+: consensual, unprotected, vague dacryphilia, soft? dom!Negan, lite daddy kink, fingerings, riding, and basically just Negan blowing your brains out… but not in the walker way— the good way, the way we like. Amen.

A/N: Could you believe I started writing this in October or something? This is my first time writing Negan and I’m scared I may not have gotten it right so definitely feel free to give notes! This is set during season 7/8, I’m picturing Negan at the end of 8 and later seasons but there’s something about him older that gives me heart eyes everywhere, but whatever you prefer makes me happy. Anyway, from my heart, and maybe somewhere a little lower, to yours; with love from writella. ♡

You’re screwed up and brilliant, look like a million-dollar man; so why is my heart broke?

—— LDR, Million Dollar Man

The space was clean; minimal. The kind that let out no secrets of the owner that inhabited its insides. And of course there were the little things that let out some slight details: the ashtray on the nightstand— a smoking habit; a ring, a metal chain, another of black rope— an unsuspected, albeit small, interest in jewelry; the bottom nightstand closed by a lock—mysterious and cautious, though that was to be expected. It was only reasonable he’d have something he wanted hide. But other than that, Negan’s bedroom was quite unreadable; almost purposefully mundane.

There was a fireplace, a window at the corner, and a bed at the center. It had a dark, brass, rusted headboard that leaned against the wall. Two pillows at either side. The sheets were white, and the large blanket was of fur, a tan or medium brown, it was thick and heavy. Probably unnecessary for the approaching spring heat, but it adored the bed end well; matching the other bronze, or brown, wooden and darker aspects of the room. Even the light from the small fire, though you could see clearly, made everything mildly dim— the Sanctuary wasn’t known for its brightness after all.

And truly, nothing in this bedroom, or in this fortress of a place could be described as anything close to bright. Unless you counted the sun outside in the courtyard, or the largest fireplace that blazed in the main hall, or Negan’s piercing, priceless smile— so pristinely white, so wide it almost looked painful to perform. There was an eeriness to it as well. That was at the forefront, and everyone saw it. With the way he maintained their cleanliness, it was something that could look so pure, so put-together on any other; but on him, its power could scare you into worthlessness. It’s the one he used when he told someone what to do even if they hated it; it’s the one he used when killing someone’s best friend.

It’s also the one he used on the first day he ever spoke to you. The first time that truly mattered, really.

It was during Negan’s first supply gathering at Alexandria.

You still remember it well.

Your faces filled with desolation, but chins held high; you were strong— good at hiding the pain, the fear— only straight, pokered eyes and mouths allowed as everyone silently agreed with you. You had told Negan that Maggie was dead.

The Widow, he had coined her. The wife of your good friend that he killed— so generous a man was Glenn, even when he wasn’t trying to be. And she’s your friend too, brave Maggie. That’s the one he wanted, but as far as he knew, she was gone.

Thank God, you thought, Thank God, yes, indeed, until—

Negan’s eyes glazed over your frame for just a moment too long.

You weren’t speaking anymore. You kept it short enough. He should have turned his attention back to Rick but he didn’t.

Where there was sly roguery in Negan’s eyes, anxiety weld in the looks of all others: Rick’s throat tensed and tightened uneasily, sweat trailing down his curls and onto his forehead; Rosita’s jaw clenched with bitterness, brows furrowing under her green khaki cap with anger; and then there was Gabriel: his eyes turned from solemnity and pretend peacefulness to wide bewilderment. The plan you two exchanged had worked: you would tell Negan of Maggie’s passing, as per your idea, and Gabriel would swiftly solidified your lie by saying he was the one who officiated the short funeral. But then, another problem arose; one where he could be nothing else but helpless in aiding you. What was he, or anyone to do? It was easy to help Maggie, she was more than twenty miles away. But you, you were here. Right in front of him.

“Wait a minute…” Negan’s pointer shakes lightly by his temple, his mind turning curiously. “You.” He said, shooting his finger in the direction of your chest.

His smile, mischievous as ever, only grew wider as a moment passed and he made his realization: “You’re the one with that- tight- grip!” He balled his raised hand into a fist as he said it. A slight snicker came after, proud of his entendre. “My men were tryna put Daryl in the trunk and you latched onto his foot like it was your dying- act- which—” you attempt to lessen the startle in your eyes at his upward hitch in tone, “—it most certainly could have been.”

Negan comes closer now, his face nearing your own, “But you know better now, right?”

Obviously, you did not.

Or you would have stayed home, not given him the chance to remember you as he said he would after your nails could no longer claw into Daryl’s ankle. He was thrashing too much and Negan’s men pushed you away; they were too strong together against the two of you. They kicked dirt in your face for it, held a gun to your head until Negan told them to stop. His point was made with your two friends he had killed, no need for another— especially not one who amused him like you had just done.

‘DAYUM. She is surprisingly strong!’ He had yelled, ignoring the weeping faces of you and the group kneeling in a line on the ground; sweat, blood, and tears dripping everywhere. ‘And I do like ‘em loyal…’ He had given you a once over while telling his men, ‘Hands off, gentlemen,’ and before returning his attention back to Rick, he added, ‘I’ll keep my eye on you.’

And he did.

You made an impression.

Now you’ll pay.

Rick should have told you why he wanted you to stay with Judith. He remembered what Negan said too. He remembered what Negan said to everyone. He couldn’t forget. But maybe it didn’t matter. It was only the start of Negan’s day here. Maybe he would have found you anyway.

Rick would feel it was all his fault nonetheless, but all you could think about is how truly, it was your own, and no one’s at all.

The sun allows glints of wickedness to sparkle in the whites of Negan’s teeth as he continues imparts his demand, “From now on, don’t stop me when I’m giving an order, okay?” It’s like you can hear him underlining his words just with his darkened voice. Turning his waist, he extends his hand to everyone as he finishes, “And that goes for all of you.”

You force your face to remain leveled as he meets your eyes again, that cheshire look returning directly toward you. He curls his head to the side, whispering near your profile, “So… you’re his girl, huh?”

Your mouth becomes slightly agape. You don’t even realize it before you can try to close it. He asked the question of aversion, or at least that’s what you assumed it was to Daryl.

You knew it was just his way, that speaking about things like this might have not been his strong suit. Besides, there were more things to worry about almost all the time, but it still hurt to know that when asked, the only complete and honest answer there could be was no.

Your eyes trail down slowly, desperate to avoid his, and Daryl’s face— a few feet away from you— turning to the side, looking at nothing. He could not hear what was being asked, but maybe Rick did, Rosita and Gabriel too. It was unclear, but their eyes prodded with more tension, more worry, Daryl could register that, and even more so, he could not stand Negan’s face that close to yours; he was probably trying to make an advance on you, scare you, or both. He pretends not to care, but ultimately it’s useless. Negan detects your expression and turns to look at Daryl’s; he notices both failing attempts at impassivity.

“Oh,” he muses, voice returning to its normal volume, “or not, my bad…. I guess that does make more sense though.” He speaks louder now, casually, like he’s a close friend consoling you about your boy troubles, “I personally haven’t been able to hold a conversation with the guy either, and I’m just tryna be friends.”

Daryl was right. Negan was weaseling his way in. He snarls because of it.

Only Dwight hears this and sends him a warning glare.

You feel the sweat beading from your hairline to the nape of your neck. The danger felt from Negan’s presence was as thick as the sun’s heat that shone directly on the cemetery grove. It’s hard to look up and especially to look at him directly for that long as if he truly was the fire in the sky, so you look down again.

Negan pats your shoulder sympathetically, his hand then going to hold up your chin, his thumb tracing your jaw softly.

It makes Daryl’s arms twitch and his stance jerks forward, but he’s pushed back, Dwight beating him on the chest. It’s only once but you can hear it, everyone heard it.

It only makes Negan’s grin become more sly because— there it is— a reaction; an answer. It makes what he’s about to do that much more sweet: “Fuck, darlin’. I’m sorry. Idiot,” he tisks. Then more quietly he adds, “I’m not one though.”

This time it’s for sure: Rick caught that, and Rosita too. They give each other an alarming look as Negan continues to trail over your dispirited form, like a wilted flower. His hand lowers back down to your shoulder, then trails to your arm, to the elbow, and then off of you entirely.

Despite the feeling of Lucille under his grasp telling him he shouldn’t, Rick urges himself to speak before Negan says what they all know is coming. “Negan,” he starts, swallowing the slight shake in his voice, “would you like to see the pantry—”

“Did I ask you to speak, Rick?” Negan states, his frame still positioned in front of you. “I’m thinkin’ here… I’m thinkin’… particularly, that you should come with me.”

Daryl makes a sound that you couldn’t hear, for Dwight was already barking a “Shut up,” at him. Only the swat he gives to Daryl’s shoulder is what is once again heard by all.

You almost choke on your gasp, but you hold it in. Only letting out the faintest sound as you ask, “What?”

“You heard me,” he plainly says. “I mean, what do you even do here anyway?”

You almost felt embarrassed to answer.

“No, I’m askin’. Seriously. Does Rick actually utilize you?”

As you begin, your voice is still quiet, “I… I work in the garden, with the produce… I help tutor the kids… I go on runs, gather supplies. I cook. Help with weapons maintenance, I—” you stop, realizing your grocery list of jobs probably sounds pathetic to him, you’re like a chore boy, “— I do a lot. But everyone does.”

“Hm,” Negan responds, playing with his nails nonchalantly. Your thoughts come to fruition with his next words, “So you’re just everyone’s helper?”

He noticed the sad offense emanating from your eyes, so he raised his hands, “And those are important things to do, I mean it. It must mean you know quite a bit from everyone, that’s smart, and there’s no trouble in it. But… I saw you. I think you can do more.”

“How?” You can still only gasp out your words. “I’m not Maggie. And she’s not here.”

“No.” He brings up one finger, “But you’re clever,” you look at him confused as he brings up his middle finger to join the first, “and quick on your feet, that I now know.” A third and fourth finger comes up, “You’re strong, you’re loyal— things I’ve stated before.” Then the fifth he says with a smug smile, “And you’re a looker, I must admit.” He moves his hand to one side of his mouth, pretending to secretly tell you, “But that’s just a plus,” he winks. “And more importantly, it seems to me that just like most people in Prick’s community, you are undervalued and not paid attention to whereas I see potential.” He says it all so simply, he truly believes he’s offering you so much better that he finally ends by saying: “Hm. Yeah. I think you’ll be much better off with me.”

And so, with no true goodbyes said, in a van you went after Negan’s visit was done. A different one from Daryl’s, of course. Taken away from the first home you had in ages.

Before the trunk door closed, Negan gave you parting words: “You see?” He had said, “I told you I’d remember you, didn’t I?”

The words rang in your ears for the entire ride as they still do now, even more or less than two months later as you sit in his room.

Your heartbeat started to rise little by little as time went on and he hadn’t arrived. With the window allowing you to escape into thought, you were left to think about the last couple of days, and specifically, the last time you were in here:

You were sitting with him on his bed. You had asked if you could talk about anything other than the world you two lived in now, and surprisingly, he obliged. It was nice. Sometime later, he had finally opened that locked drawer.

You heard him suck his teeth, what he was getting seemed lost, which allowed you to take a closer peek inside.

There was a picture of a woman. The first wife? The only real one? You couldn’t tell and you wouldn’t ask, it would have been too much. You didn’t even get a good look at the woman anyway— part of her face was covered and he was fast. But he saw your eyes, so you decided to take note of the books you caught a glimpse of, pretending it was the only thing you saw. You try to think of something to say… It did make sense he was a reader, at least even mildly if that was all it was. The way he describes his ideals, his persuasiveness, his diction— it impressed you, even if you disagreed with a lot of it. It was almost ironic that the only cover you saw was of a dictionary, the more valuable ones probably hidden under. “Is that where you get all your big boy words from?” You asked.

“Some of them,” he joked back, composing himself.

It was strange to almost catch him off guard. It was so unlike him to allow it, but what happened next felt even more surprising.

Whatever he got from the drawer was enclosed in his hand. He put the free one on top of the other as he started, “Now… I don’t want you thinking I’m growing soft on you. I just thought you deserve it because—” and then his voice fades. Even Negan, the ever curse-filled wordsmith, was finding it hard to describe in any other way that he was pleased with something as absurd as you not trying to escape anymore. He knew you would probably think that was the only reason for a gift, but then he opted for something that even you couldn’t help but know was equally true, “You don’t seem to proactively hate me anymore. You’re here. I appreciate it, so I wanted to,” he says sincerely. “That’s all.”

Negan opened his hand, resting the piece in your palm— it was a locket; lovely and rusted floral engravings all over it.

You felt sad that you thought it was beautiful, and even worse for knowing the reasons why he was giving it to you. No wonder his voice had faltered.

You remember the soft shock and awe on your face, how you said thank you and how your face felt so hot when you said it, how he asked you to turn, and how you looked at him from behind you after he put the piece on. He was so close and it felt like he was coming closer. You don’t remember if that part was real, but you can see it so clearly that it must have been. Unfortunately, the only thing you remember for certain is that knock at the door that sent Negan away to handle whatever was going on downstairs.

Had you almost let him kiss you? Would you have liked it? Are you the most deplorable person for even thinking that while Daryl was somewhere else locked up at the time?

“I see they delivered my message.”

You return from your daze, your startle leaving as soon as it comes.

It was just him. There Negan finally was.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to just come in. The door was unlocked.”

“I knew the meeting was gonna go longer than expected; thought you might as well make yourself comfortable.” He gestures to you, “which I see you did, and no—“ you were getting up from his bed, “it’s fine.” Negan sets Lucille near the door. He walks over to you, sitting down on the edge of his bed as well. There is a bit of distance between you two.

“You know, I came back the other day,” he informs, “I was actually going to talk to you last night, but then I heard you tried to leave. Again.” His eyebrows furrow, “We still on that?” He asks. “Thought we had a breakthrough the other night.”

“But after Carl—“

“—Carl,” he interjects, “came here all by his badass self, and for that, I did not lay even my pinky fuckin’ finger on him.” His hand goes to his chest, “I even took him home like a gentleman. And after I got here and found out they put you in a cell without supper, I had you back in your bed before midnight yesterday, so I’d say I’m doing pretty well.”

“Seriously?” Your incredulity is hidden under the softness of your voice as you say it, but it’s cracking.

“As a heart attack. It’s your ex-people who don’t listen. At least I was nice this time.”

You sigh heavily, docility officially fading. You shake your head with a slight chuckle, “That’s hard to believe. Especially if you were gone for most of the day. I know what that means. You had whatever the fuck your version of fun is.”

He grits his teeth, holding his words back. You’ve gotten a little too comfortable with the back talk, and you especially shouldn’t be saying anything after the night you had yesterday, but he allows it.

This time.

Of course, he didn’t like you leaving, but he rather that it was Daryl who escaped than you. And based on the bruises: one on the side of your head, one high on your shoulder— he imagines you might have gotten pushed against a wall— and the light ones that littered in a couple of spots on both your arms— he could tell his men must have been rough with you as they brought you back. He didn’t like that; therefore, he lets you quip. Someone would be getting their own bruises for it some time later anyway. He would take your smartass mouth out on them to cover for it.

“Maybe,” he finally says. “Nothing was undeserved though.”

You breathe in, the back and forth was no use. “What happened yesterday?” You asked, losing the sarcasm. Your eyes peered into his for honesty, hoping to skip the sly replies and get to the truth. “Just tell me what happened at home.”

Home. You knew better than to use that word. In fact, you have just stopped using that word. He let out an exasperated laugh, but skipped the lecture. “You want the truth? Or just the SparkNotes?”

You roll your eyes lightly. You probably don’t even notice you did it. Despite the situation being discussed, it makes Negan’s head turn endearingly— your tone of voice, the things you say, the way you react to him… you still don’t realize how fresh you’ve gotten with him, how comfortable. But he sees it.

“Alright. Well, Spencer’s gone.” He reveals offhandedly, replying to your silence.

Your eyes do not widen, you know what gone means. You simply nod and try to not think about how the now-cleaned bat most likely looked before.

“And don’t tell me that you care,” he says, pretending to interject to your continuing silence. “You gotta know he was a small dick nepo-prick, right?”

You bite the inside of your lip, shaking your head slightly. You won’t give in to a cheap joke even if it was pretty accurate, so he beckons you by name, “C’mon, that was funny.”

Still, you give him nothing.

He sighs; taking off his leather; and sits near you on the bed, his hands cupping the ledge. “Thought we were finally over this quiet thing.”

“A lot has happened this week.”

“Like…” he prodes. He would only talk about it if you brought it up.

Your eyes shut tightly before opening again. You didn’t want to say it, but you had to. “You know what. Daryl.”

He states the fact plainly, “Daryl left you.”

“Are you kidding me?” Your voice is fierce now. You can’t believe it. You won’t. “He’s not that kind of person and this isn’t an easy place to get out of— I obviously know that— he wouldn’t.”

“Oh, I know,” he jeers, “but he did and he didn’t bring you with him. Even though you were found trying to find his cell. That’s some real idiotic bullshit right there, isn’t it? From both of you.”

You glared at him hotly, you wouldn’t give it up, but unfortunately you had no rebuttal. Both of you would just continue on with the same argument, the conversation going nowhere. And not because either side knew they were completely right; in truth, neither of you actually knew what happened the other day. But in this regard, you felt there was no other choice: you believed in Daryl fully.

Because he wouldn’t.

He couldn’t.

Right?

You continue shaking your head, trying to find something to say in retaliation as you feel your sureness withering. Separating you two was the smartest tactic. You now have nothing to hold onto. “He wouldn’t,” you repeat pathetically, “I don’t believe you.” Unfortunately it’s not quite enough, so he continues with a rant you know all too well.

“You don’t believe me?” He cups the ends of the bed more tightly, positioning himself closer to you. “When I’m the one who gave you the safest roof? Secure food, clean water, access to all these pretty dresses, which, I know you’ve become accustomed to—” and here it comes— “I saved you!”

Saviors and their “saving,” you sneered at it. What bullshit. “You didn’t save me.”

“But I gave you someone to talk to… Huh?” He taunts, waiting for your response but nothing comes. He uses it to his advantage, “You’re quiet cause you know it’s true.”

But you know something too. He says it before you can.

“Or fuck, maybe I just gave myself someone to talk to.”

You pretend you can’t hear the earnesty in it. “Stop,” you scoff. “Don’t treat me like I’m special. I was the second choice.”

“I think with my dick sometimes. You’re the only choice.”

You start to shake your head, your face is flushed; scared, hot, and a little bit of something else that you refuse to let out. Then the tears come— the room feels so big and you two are so close and there are so many feelings you’re trying to push down. “It doesn’t matter,” you say wearily, “You took me. And you took him. You hurt him, I saw his face.” Your voice begins to tremble, almost in unison with the tears that peak out on your eyelids. “And that outfit you put him in. He didn’t even look me in the eye.”

“Stop,” he warns.

“You didn’t even let me see him.”

“He doesn’t notice you.”

“You don’t know us.”

“I know you.”

“You don’t know him.”

“I know you’re not happy… What about the other night?”

You ignore him, shaking your head: “You hurt my friends.”

“What about the other night?” He persists, his voice slowly growing louder. “What about every time I let you sit in on my meetings? What about how you have your own room? What about how I actually talk to you?”

“You let him get hurt—” the tears start to fall, there is a quiver in your voice but you still match his near shout, “And you almost killed Carl—”

“Shut up.”

“And you killed Abraham—”

He warns you by name.

“And Glenn! Maggie’s husband—”

“SHUT. UP.”

“The baby won’t have a father, Negan!”

His voice is low and grim as he demands you to “Stop. Now.” Negan grabs the sides of your neck as he says his next line, it comes out brisk and harsh and heavy like his touch as his hand wraps around your neck. “I knew you lied to me.”

Your voice is hushed, feeling his lightly pressed thumbs on the front of your throat as you speak shakily, “I’ve never lied to you.”

“Maybe not since you’ve been here, but did you hear yourself right now?” He pauses, allowing you a second to let it sink in. “You just fucking proved it.”

Your eyes widen at the realization. The baby, you had said. Fuck.

“See? Told you, you were smart.”

And he did. Brave Maggie. Clever you. That was his reason number one.

“You have to get why.”

His voice remains eerily calm. “I do.”

Another tear falls and his thumb presses its pad under your eye, spreading a tear on your face as the next one comes down.

“Negan…” you say. It’s a mix of a warning and a plea but you can’t tell for what, both fear and fire mix together because of his proximity. His touch and stare was dangerous, you wouldn’t be surprised if he was pleased he caught your slip up, thrilled to see you cry, but there was also something about it— his touch, his eyes— that was equally intoxicating. There was something more tender there as well, something you didn’t want to turn away from, he wasn’t as rough as you thought. Nonetheless, your answer to these conflicting feelings are ones of neglect, you stay your course. “You’re a bad person,” you tell him.

“Please,” he whispers back, “just stop.”

His eyes glaze over your features with an intent look you’ve only seen once before, it was that other night in fact. It’s almost gentle, but maybe it’s just pity, so you don’t let it stop you. “But you are.”

“Stop,” he pleads, then it’s hushed, “just stop…” he says, “just stop.” Then he starts coming closer. “Tell me to stop.”

And you know you should get up.

You should, you should, you should, you know it but— you don’t.

You breathe into it.

His lips latch onto yours; your heads tilt; you lock perfectly.

Everything after happens fast, the instantaneous mess of it all: he waited and waited, and of course he would. He was waiting for you to see it, to feel it. He thought the other night was the breakthrough, but no, it was tonight, it was how you didn’t back away just now.

His hand goes lower on your leg, nearing your knees so he can get under your dress, trailing up your thigh, reaching the inner side that’s pressed up to the other one.

His hand on your neck brings you in closer, traveling up to under your chin and jaw, holding you so tight, but so sweetly. All you felt was surprise. He slips his tongue in, it's deep and intense. He brings a velvet warmth that you’d never expect from him. It was paradoxical; a fiery heaven of a feeling.

He starts rubbing your clit over your panties, kissing his way up to your ear as he does so to ask, “When’s the last time someone’s fucked you?”

Your lips are parted, but you cannot speak, so he continues.

“Daryl never did, did he?” He asks in a muffle, continuing to kiss and kiss. “Who was before him?”

Again, no verbal response, but your breath does hitch at his touches. He continues to draw circles, your wetness now slowly dampening the material, making it easier for his finger to place itself between your folds, so he dips his hand under the band. That and his whispering makes you feel a kind of spark that shoots all the way down to where his fingers are touching. The first press of his thumb without any material in between forces a sudden heat to rise that instantly causes a flush of liquid to slip down your hole, it feels messier than it actually is until his fingers go lower spreading it everywhere. You were much wetter than you thought, and you can’t help how good it feels, how easily you’re responding to it.

Negan calls your name, holding in every cocky reply he wanted to give about how wet you are— he needed an answer to his question first. So he looks you in the face, making sure he has your full attention, “You’re fuckin’ with me, right?” His words are meant more genuinely than his tone implies. “Not at all during any of this?”

You shake your head small and slowly. No.

He laughs pitifully, he doesn’t mean it rudely, but he just can’t help it. A touch-starved baby at the mercy of his fingertips? “Well, god-damn.”

He felt like a rich man.

He begins to kiss your lips again, now pumping his fingers into you. Your walls tighten. It’s only two, but they’re his. It’s new and exciting. His kiss makes you lean into the bed, the force of his head and tongue going deeper into your mouth guiding you to lay flat as his fingers still play.

“I hope you know how fucking soaked you are,” he finally says. “You need it so bad that it feels this damn good with me only touching you like this?” You can’t help the way your body jerks up and he can’t help but be smug about it. “Can’t say I’m surprised.”

Your eyes grow vicious at his grin, you almost want to hit him, but you can’t. All you can do is suppress your moan into a quiet whine. He’s so magnetic— his touch feels forbidden but so right; his voice so alluring; and his midas touch pulls you deeper and deeper into a trance, you might as well be turning into gold. Other than the involuntary reactions your body makes as his fingers continue going into your hole, now slowly going in and out as his eye gloss over your body in your favorite dress that you wore the most, you’re left paralyzed; subjected to following his lead. Wherever he wanted to go next, you’d let him.

He takes his fingers from inside of you and you look up quickly. You made sure not to whine at the loss of contact but your eyes couldn’t hide your dismay. All he did was smile and quickly lick away the wetness.

“Just takin’ this off,” he tells you as his hands cross over to the ends of his white t-shirt, slipping it off and onto the ground, one of those small rope chains hitting his chin as he does so.

It was only his shirt but you’re struck by him: to see more of his ever present sun-kissed skin felt almost godly. He was pretty lean, not too lanky like his stature, but not too broad either. Light curves of muscles adorned his chest and shoulders and arms. His chest and abdomen were slightly hairy, a tattoo placed on the upper right side and you finally saw the other tattoos placed on his upper arms more clearly. They looked nice on him. He was so handsome. You felt more wetness peeking out from down below. He looked so big above you.

“Like what you see, beautiful?” That typical snark still laced his voice, but there was a genuinity to it as well. He wanted you to like what you saw; to like him.

His words make your face hot, eyes casting off to the side. It was easier to talk to him when you were mad at him, when it was about home, even just small talk about the Sanctuary; this felt… different. Just like the other night.

You had almost already forgotten that his charm worked this way too; in a kinder way— when his eyes are wide, when his smile is soft, when he calls you sweet names without the irreverent, quip-filled pretenses.

It made you have all the words on the tip your tongue: how handsome and sexy you could say he is, how much you liked his tattoos, even all the greys that littered his hair and beard l, or how, if you had to admit it, you liked that dumb shit-eating grin of his, but all you can do is lightly smile, a quiet laugh escaping your lips at your bashfulness. You finally nod. “Yes,” you say, rolling your eyes, “maybe.”

He starts undoing his belt with a laugh of his own, “Oh I know you’re a fuckin liar if you think I’m a maybe.”

As his pants drop to the floor he takes each hand and places them over your shoulders on the bed to ask, “May I take off the lady’s dress?”

Your eyes widened, your open mouth only letting out a sweet, surprised, and whispered, “Huh?”

“What? Didn’t expect me to be a gentleman?”

You try to compose yourself, calm the fire you feel all throughout your body, and pretend you haven’t already given in completely right when he kissed you. “I just didn’t expect it would be all this slow.”

He laughs inwardly, glad to see the personality he came to know come back after all that happened these past two days. “Just give me a moment,” he jokes back. “You think I’m gonna waste seeing the reaction of you watching my cock spring out just so I can shove it in fast? ” He comes closer, his voice lowers now, “Believe it or not, I don’t think you’re just some doll or a fuck-piece.” The groundedness of his voice is something you’ve never heard before. “I’m pretty sure I’ve already stated that I see you. And truly, I think you’re damn gorgeous.”

Your eyes are stars. How can you even react? He thinks you’re gorgeous and you’re taken aback. “Thank you,” is all you can quietly say.

“You’re welcome.” He responds with eyes that have never looked so honest, so soft. You get lost in them and he has to pull you back, returning to his question, “May I?”

You nod, quick and excitedly, “You can take it off, Negan.”

He grabs your hands and stands you up. You look up at his face and his fingers move to the ends of your dress, pulling it over your head.

The tips of his fingers trace your chest and stomach lightly, delicately touching your skin as if it’s porcelain. He grabs your waist and travels up to take off your bra, then pushes down your wet underwear.

Negan’s cock stirs at the sight, you’re so pretty and so ready for him. “And I didn’t even need to see it to know I was right.” Just like he said, you’re gorgeous.

Negan pushes down his boxers. Cock springing up. Big and veiny with a red tip. He was itching to get inside of you.

And there you were, eyes and mouth open wide, scared and excited all at once. You were intimidated but surprisingly not scared if it would fit or not. You would let him do anything to get himself inside of you, even if it hurt.

“There it is,” he says, pleased with your reaction. He comes closer to your ear now, pushing you down by the hips against the bed once more. “And trust me, if you like that, you won’t fucking believe how I’ll feel inside of you. Just wait.”

“I…” He wanted to make you feel good, you’re almost speechless. “I’m ready.”

“Good.” He says, and then he places himself above you, admiring your glistening folds as he spreads your legs. He already lines himself up, he could look at you forever but he is in no desire to wait any longer. He pushes in. It’s a bit fast, a tight fit, it must have hurt you, but he’s too excited, he can’t help it. He lets out a hum and then a groan at the feeling of your walls enclosing him, and he hears you gasp at his size. He starts to pump into you immediately.

His face hovers over yours. His eyes study your features and he realizes he’s never been this close. Of course he hasn’t, he’s never fucked you, made love to you. He’s just now noticing the way your eyelashes curl, what birthmarks adorn your upper body or not, and how many earrings you may have, but most importantly, he’s noticing the way you react to him: the way your eyebrows might scrunch, or what elicits more pants and squirmings, the way your lips tug tightly against each other or open into ovals and circles depending on what he does, how he thrusts, where he touches, how he moves.

It all makes him slowly speed up. He can’t take it anymore. He kisses your neck and jaw— some kisses sweet, then others that are rough and he begins to pump and pump. Faster and faster.

“Oh,” you choke out before moaning, “ah.”

He continues, loving every facial expression you make until he finally speaks. “Alright. I gave you a break— now tell me how it feels?”

All you can do is whine incoherently.

“Excuse me?” He says more sternly. You know what he wants.

“Negan,” you whine again.

He stops. “Yes?” He asks all too knowingly. “Gonna use your words and tell me how it feels?”

You sigh, taking the hand placed on your hip and moving up toward the ends of your stomach, all the way up to your left breast. You let his hand rest there, feeling the heat and your quickened heartbeat radiating from the area. “You… you feel so good.” Your eyes are watery, “Amazing.”

You got him there, and he almost can’t help but start hammering it in, but then he remembers… he doesn’t have to help it. He could do whatever he wanted, so he does. He squeezes your breast, grinning wildly as he gives you one hard thrust. “Damn right,” he tells you, hearing your yelp before pounding fast.

You had always been quiet but he never quite saw you at a loss for words as you are now. Your mouth is completely open, your eyes threatening to roll back further, making sounds he’s sure you’ve never heard from yourself before. Have you even had it this fast? This big? This great? He knows it couldn’t be. And he’s the one who gets to show you. His eyes gloss over you with pride at the thought.

He grabs your chin to get you to look at him, “Who’s fucking you this good?”

You moan. You weren’t used to this. Your eyes roll back completely as he pounds into you with eye contact.

It makes him groan loudly, his jerks into you, letting out his own moan from the sight. “Oh fuck, baby. Don’t play with me.”

You give in, force yourself to speak, you can’t let this end. “You, Negan!”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes!” It’s so hard to speak, it comes out so pathetically.

“Who's making you feel like no one else?”

“You, Negan, it’s you!” Your moan turns into a pant, “It’s you, only you.”

He comes closer, his nose touches yours. His movements slow, but they don’t stop. He’s rocking into you now. “Only me?”

You don’t even think, “Who else? It's only you.”

His teeth sparkle, “Only me.”

“Only you, daddy.”

He laughs cockily, “So Daddy’s making you feel this good?”

“Yes, daddy. So good.”

You feel the groan he makes travel right to your clit, making it throb.

He kisses you, the corners of your lips to your cheek and neck and collarbones and back up again.

He restarts his pumping into you but his head remains close to yours. You decide to wrap one of your arms around his neck, pulling his hair, and the other hand travels down his back, holding him close.

Negan breathes you in, his head near the crux of your neck, hearing every little sweet sound you make that he’s never heard before. It all drives him wild, but then his eyes open. A question comes out that surprises you both: “Am I ruining your life right now?” He quietly asks.

“That doesn’t matter,” you say, breathing heavily from his touches, your eyes are still closed.

“I think it does.”

“You make me feel like no one ever has…” The bliss you feel from his current soft strokes and touches making it hard to speak, your voice is so light. “At least I got to experience it.” You open your eyes now, fingers tracing the cross drawn into his arm, “At least I got to see the real you.”

Your eyes say more than your words do. There’s a yearning and a sadness, an answer to what feels right in this moment, but an insight that there are doubts that could creep up later the more that you think about it.

“Just keep going,” you tell him, “I want to see you.”

You want to see him, you do see him. His head connects with yours again, and you moan into each other's mouths as he keeps pumping. Your legs come up to his hips and you’re not afraid to be loud anymore, to tell him how good it feels, how much you like him.

He takes your hands and places them over your head, crossing his fingers with your. It’s so pure, so lovely even when he’s going so hard down below. You hear your breaths heavy and your bodies slapping and the bed shaking.

You think about his skin, and his scratchy beard against yours, and the way you hate how he can make you smile by making the most ridiculous and raunchy jokes, and the way you love his voice, the way you can’t help but to like the way he cares for you.

“Negan,” you say weakly.

“Yes,” he responds intently.

“I’m gonna come,” you tell him. “I think I can.”

“Come for me,” he encourages, moving one of his hands down to rub your clit. “C’mon.”

“I’m gonna come,” you repeat, edging yourself on. Bucking up at his thrusts and his fingers.

“You can do it. Be a good girl. Do it for me.”

You swear the fireplace blazes louder and bigger, lighting up the whole room as you yell out, moaning once more as you orgasm.

Negan finally breaths out after, holding in for so long, and comes after you. His hands place themselves flat on the bed and he pushes in fast, riding out the high.

He scoops you up immediately, holding you in his arms. He doesn’t want to let go.

You two stay there for a moment until you look up. His hand caresses your face, “What is it?”

“I…” you were embarrassed to admit that you weren’t ready for it to all be over yet. “Can I ride you?”

A wiley smile appears on his face. He has to admit, he’s a little shocked you’re ready to go again, but he’d never turn it down. “Well, of course you can, babygirl.”

He flips you over, completely ready, but instantly, you become hesitant, almost overwhelmed. He was the world, not you, yet you were now above him. All the allowance to touch him anywhere you want at your disposal.

He puts his hands under his head, arms flexing. An ever wide smile present as he waits for you to begin. “You asked for it. Don’t get shy on me now.”

Your eyes grow excited again, deciding not to hold back, and you start to rock against him. You place you hands on his chest, feeling him up, touching his biceps, hands going over his tattoos— you could stare at them, at him, for hours. You honestly think you’d lick his whole body if he’d let you. And of course he probably would. To feel big and proud and irresistible while you look like a little desperate freak? You wouldn’t even have to ask him twice. Thinking about it and about how full his cock is making you feel, stretching and reaching all the right places, makes you moan and whine. You bucked your hips wildly, humming and giving him “mmms” because of how yummy it feels. You could do this forever.

“Ah- uh- Negan,” you moan and your stomach caves as you whine again and you hurl forward, continuing to rock but your pace is faltering. It’s becoming too hard and Negan can tell so he takes you by the hips, helping you move. First continuing to let your grind and then pushing you up and down his shaft so you can bounce on him. You push yourself up again, hand on his chest, pushing against it and you bounce along with his help. This was fun. You try to go faster and faster. It felt like being a kid on a playground.

“Open your eyes,” he demands. “Look at who you’re fucking, sweetheart.”

So you do, and moan at the sight of him, “Ohmygod,” you say. “You’re so handsome, Negan.”

He's so proud of you. Enjoying your actions, enjoying your noises. He groans as he sees your breast bounce and it makes you squeeze against him.

“Good girl,” he coos, “finally listening when you’re spoken to, about to make yourself come on daddy’s cock again.”

He starts to rub your clit again and you continue to bounce. It almost hurts because of how overstimulated you’ve become but you don’t tell him to stop. Your hands come to reach the headboard, helping you bounce harder. He tells you again how much of a good girl you are, how he loves that you’re not stopping, then he tells you how dirty and desperate you are for wanting him again after he already made you come. But he’s obsessed. This is all he’s ever wanted since the day he brought you here. His hands trail up from your hips to your waist and breast and back down again. There is nothing more he wants than to fuck you or for you fuck him.

You look down. You both notice your necklace still wrapped around your neck, almost nearing between your breasts, bouncing along with all of you. It reminds you of why you're here, why he gave it to you. It makes you have the realization he had… Was he ruining your life? Were you ruining your own? But how could you be when it all feels this good? It was completely screwed up, but everything felt so magnificently brilliant. His touch is everything, his voice is everything, his body is everything. It makes your hips stutter, it makes you moan, and at last, it makes you come again. You ride your high, going and going and going until you fall into his chest. His hands come to hold you tight thereafter.

Unthinkable bliss is all that is felt for a long moment… then… your head turns to the window. You remember what is out there and what isn’t in here.

A tear falls down your cheek and he realizes what’s happening when it falls onto his shoulder.

It hurts him now. To see you cry. It’s not fun anymore. You feel it, yes. You see what he saw, it’s true. But you aren’t really his wife. You’re nothing that is his at all. You both know that as well.

It takes you a long time to speak, you have to force yourself, but you do. “You have to let me go now.” You say it sternly but there is a sadness to it; a small part of you wants to not mean it even though you completely do, even though you do wish to stay here, to be enveloped by his embrace— you simply cannot forget.

“Mm,” he shakes his head, remaining leveled, “you know too much.”

“I barely know anything,” you say. “And not that anything I do know matters. Knowing the way around the Sanctuary isn’t going to help anyone when I know there is no way we could actually get in…. And what’s more important anyway is that I’m not changing my mind and you’re not either.”

“I’m not.”

“And I can’t. I wouldn’t. And they’re not going to. Never…. And if some of them die…” A whimper almost leaves you but you manage to swallow it, “I have to be by their side, Negan. I can’t only hear about it. I… I can’t see it next to you.”

His lips are pressed firm, his jaw is fixed and tight, almost like he’s grinding down on his teeth. The breath he takes through his nose could be a heavy sigh if he opened his mouth, but he doesn’t. He keeps it all in.

You words and their weight hang in the air for a moment before he finally speaks: “One of my guys that watches the armory doors has a shift that ends at 6:00 am… but at 5:50 I’m going to come up to him and tell him he gets off 10 minutes early that day, that I’ll wait for the next person to come.” He lets his words hang in the air for a moment, your confusion spirals before he keeps going. “It’ll be fucking weird, but he’ll look dumb as shit if he questions me, so he won’t. Then when he’s out of sight, I’ll leave. The next person is coming right at 6. That’s all you get. 10 minutes. A little less really.”

Your eyes round slowly as the stun continues to sink in. He’s… letting you leave.

“You take one gun and one knife. Just one. Don’t make it noticeable. I’m going to check. Then you go out of the back door that’s inside.” He didn’t have to tell you the way. “It should be easy, I know you’ve tried it before.”

You look down, taking in all he says, but then he turns you face to meet his, “If anyone sees you, I’m gonna have to make a show of it when they bring you back. Not what I want. But if I get there before you get out, maybe 5:58, just cause I’m an asshole, just to see you one last time… And if I do, I’m gonna turn you around and you’re stayin’. Fair?”

You nod. It’s small and light. You don’t question any of it, you can’t. “8 minutes.” You respond.

“8 minutes.” His voice is neutral, but underneath there was a tinge of solemnity to it. “8 minutes,” he says under his breath.

“What about now?”

“Now?” He asks. He didn’t think about it. He assumed you would want to go after this, after you got what you wanted. “Well,” he turns to his nightstand, “right now it’s half past 10.” He stares at you for a moment, you can’t tell what he’s thinking. This whole moment has felt so quiet, both eerie and gentle. You still weren’t used to the latter from him, even after what just happened. “You can go if you want. Sleep in your bed for one more night, or…” he stops, “You can stay with me, if you’d like.” His sigh is short and whispered but you both hear it, you feel its weight. “It’s your choice.”

You stare at each other for a moment. Your eyes trail all of his face and the arm that is still holding your own, adorned with all the tattoos and skin you had just fallen for. You wanted to study them and hold onto him forever. And his eyes: they said so much— there were so many little inflections, ones that you had finally read, and so many others you’ve yet to decipher. You desired to know him, but you had to go, so all you decided to do was to hold him. For now, you chose to stay, and hoped that your embrace would transfer the fact that the only reason it would be hard to leave is because of him and only him. You would remember this forever. “8 hours till 8.”

“8 hours till 8, kid.”

You close your eyes tight and nuzzle into his chest, A peace you had never known in the Sanctuary finally subsumed you. You feel free to finally tell him, “Thank you. I really do miss home.”

Home. There it is again. There was no malice in the way you said it, but there was still a pang from your melancholy words that made his heart throb. You missed home. And as peaceful as you looked, and as safely as you held onto him, your words reaffirmed that home was not here and it was not with him— no matter how you looked, and no matter the fact that you were allowing him to hold you for the night, to call you his. In the end, you were not.

He had to finally accept it.

“8 hours till 8,” are your last words until you finally drift to sleep. This would be your last and most tranquil night here. To you, it felt right, almost harmonious, albeit sad. This is how it was and how it was meant to be. You needed it.

But to him, it’s shattering. He doesn’t repeat the phrase back this time because, for once, he has nothing to say. The fire glow of the night has now withered into darkness.

You won.

He lost.

But both your hearts broke.

[iamzer0]

May u do yandere thanos with pregnant reader (same story like 333 and 222 but thanos didn’t know she was pregnant. And reader broke up with him on text because he was so possesive and she moved blocked him on all socials and yeah then in the game they meet again)

Hii ofc!(you know what’s crazy this is like one of my first times writing romantic Yandere i hope I don’t let you down)

Yᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ Tʜᴀɴᴏs ᴡ��ᴛʜ Pʀᴇɢɴᴀɴᴛ Rᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

A/n: I really hope u like this one!

Now to provide some background on how you ended up stuck with the worst ex boyfriend you’ve ever had.

You and Thanos were a thing, and honestly the reason he was the worst ex ever was simply because of his possessive behavior.

Any time you went out together he kept you firmly planted by his side.

He wouldn’t let you even breathe the same air as another guy.

Anytime you were on your phone for longer than 20 mins he would snatch it saying “what guy are you texting?”.

He was very insecure and always thought that if he gave you the chance to leave you would immediately get with someone else behind his back.

He was always on something, when he was on ‘stuff’ he would be very bipolar.

Yelling at you then hugging you from behind saying he loved you and asking for a kiss.

It was just toxic so when you found you were pregnant, you knew that your baby couldn’t grow up in such an environment.

You ran away from him, with the little money you had.

You see Thanos convinced you to put all your money into MG coin and long story short you lost everything.

You were on your own, sleeping in your car, begging for food.

Then one of your friends snitched to him about your pregnancy.

He used several fake numbers just to try and contact you, he tried every tactic in the book just to hunt you down.

It was hell.

So when you were given the opportunity to enter this game thing for money you jumped at the chance to give you and your baby a new life.

You woke up in a hard bed in new clothes it was a bit unsettling but in the end would be worth it… you hoped..

Thats when you spotted the one person you vowed to never ever see again.

Thanos.

Your heart was in your stomach, to say you were terrified was an understatement.

You were frozen, unable to move.

Then he spotted you.

He ran over to you pushing people out of the way.

He grabbed your hands, inspecting your face. He then hugged you practically jumping in you.

He had a legit death grip.

You snapped back into reality realizing the gravity of this situation.

“L-let me go… you’re hurting me!” You screamed as a last ditch effort to force him off of you.

He let you go ignoring the puzzled looks from others.

He put his hands on your belly, speed asking you various questions.

Such as “why did you leave?, why didn’t you answer my calls?, where have you been?, how’s 𝗼𝘂𝗿 baby?,” and the list goes on.

You immediately regretted even entering the games.

During red light green light he made you stand right next to him.

When the first person died, he popped a pill and started trying to drag you across the field with him. Laughing at the ones who died.

It was insanity.

You started full of sobbing as you reached the finish line.

Being back with Thanos was more terrible than before, to say he freaked you out was an understatement.

After the first game he was surprisingly very kind to you.

He hugged you close rubbing your belly while muttering an half hearted apology.

You knew that this was another mood swing, a side effect of the drugs.

Now that Thanos was unfortunately back by your side you had to readjust to his controlling ways.

He would obviously try and make you pick O saying that the more money the better.

He would ramble on about y’all’s lives together when y’all were out of the games.

Despite him almost always being in some drug induced haze he was very aggressive to others when they tried to help you.

He would goes as far as to threaten the guys that got to close to you.

For example in the game mingle he had been holding your hand tightly so you would be by him the entire game.

But as the robotic voice called out “3” someone literally snatched you from him.

After that round he started trying to fight the poor fool that took you from him for less than 5 mins.

He was always holding on to you tightly, scared that if he even blinked you would be gone in an instant.

A/n: I hope u all liked this one sorry I haven’t been active for a little bit I promise to try and upload daily. Love you all so so much bye bye╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

[meyobe]

Pretty privilege…. No MC privilege pt.2

Satan

Mc can always expect him to take their side no matter what.

Mc was the first person to see past his angry and treat him like a person.

He is forever imbedded to them.

No matter how criminal the crime.

Mc was the one to start a fight? Well why was the other person fighting back?

Mc broke an expensive vase? If it’s so expensive why it is out, where anyone can reach it?

Mc started a fire in the kitchen? Devildom ingredients can be dangerous for human use-age.

He will most likely find a way to flip Mc problem on the person who accused them.

He his mind you do no wrong.

But not to be mistaken, he knows Mc is reckless but guidance is key! (He thinks)

Asmo

He will put Mc comfort over his.

He’s spent millennials admiring himself and put himself over other by default.

Mc showed him that his soul is more blinding then any gold or highlighter he puts on.

Mc has showed him a new way of viewing life.

Mc looks uncomfortable sitting on the floor during movie night? Just take his seat… matter a fact his kicking his brother off so you can have space.

Mc is tired of wearing their heels? He’ll switch shoes with you.

Mc is carrying a lot of bags that look heavy? He’ll carry them himself no matter how ugly he thinks it is.

He is letting go of his persona of being perfect because Mc taught him your flaws make you unique.

Buttt old habits die hard but Mc just has to look at him and he knows to settle down.

Beel

Mc can use him as a stress reliever( not that way ^_^)

He is the strongest brother( without and magic or demon forms) he works out and knows it can take stress away.

Mc showed him it’s not enough to be strong physically, but mentally.

Mc and beel are two side of the same coin.

He never wants Mc to hold what their really thinking or feeling back.

Mc’s had a really bad day? Are we going to the gym or on a run?

Mc is refaced with a bad memory? Does Mc need to yell he will listen? Or does Mc want to punch someone or something? He is right there.

Mc feels the need to let out some energy? Does Mc want to practice with him and his team?

He knows that sometimes people need to get violent to relive their stress.

Nothing that Mc May do can hurt him. So go crazy >_<

He thinks Mc is the strongest person he will ever meet.

He strive to be just like them.

Belphie

Mc can expect him to make an effort.

He’s had lots of time to dwell on his past mistakes and understand where he went wrong.

He will spend an eternity trying to make things right.

He wants Mc to know he’s trying his hardest for them.

He’s trying to living up to the honor them Mc gives him.

Mc has been feeling stressed? Flowers and a gift basket are at their door with a note that has the letter “B” on it.

Mc has to go to a meeting but also need to do my chores? He’ll make sure they’re done before Mc is back.

Mc and Belphie got Into a fight? He’s still texting them “ Goodnight, I love you “ because he knows how easily you can be taken away.

All his life his been deemed lazy or useless. It never bother him until Mc.

He is becoming the best version of hisself because he wants to be the demon whose worthy of a pact with Mc.

A/n/: should I write this for the dateables?!?!

I should also mention that I love writing so feel free to request!!

A new post about volleyball will be up soon!

Ty all!❤️

Pt.3 is up!!

[keelt9]

Paper 1

Masterlist

The first time Max saw her, she was sitting with her legs crossed in front of an old clockmaker's workshop writing in red paper as the snow kept falling slowly all over the small town. 

Max’s family had the tradition of going to Benasque, in Spain, every Christmas and New Year, keeping far away from the busy world of racing and enjoying some time with family.

“What are you doing?” Max approaches the girl who didn’t bother to lift her eyes from her paper as she writes like her lifes depends on it.

“Writing.” Max bluffs rolling his eyes, but he insisted.

“Kinda obvious, what are you writing?” He tilted his head trying to read whatever she’s writing. 

This time the girl with a red beanie lifted her face, rubbing her hands trying to get rid of the cold. “A Christmas wish.”

“For?” Max couldn't avoided, she had something that triggered his curiosity. 

“For?!” Like Max just asked the most terrorist question, the girl sits properly and points to the big Santa Claus in front of the clockmaker's workshop, next to a red mailbox. “Kind of obvious too.” 

“Really?” Max looked at her like he was observing the most outrageous person. “He’s n…”

The girl stood flooding his paper and got his pen on her big red cape. “Are you a Grinch or something like that?”

Max laughs purely following the girl who carefully walked waiting for the cars stopped to cross the street. “It’s an old clockmaker's workshop with an old mailbox, what makes you think that could even work?”

The girl opened the mailbox where, to his surprise, had a considerable amount of papers and letters, the girl looked at him with a self-sufficient smile.

“You’re kind of sourpuss for having what 6 year olds, maybe 7?” Max opened his mouth in total disbelief, who the hell was this girl.

“6 and half.” The girl nods, walking back to the bench unconsciously making space for him to sit.

Max sat next to her. “Now what?” 

The girl laid back her head with a smile but didn’t look at him. “Well, I like to sit here and watch, from time to time you find interesting people who actually believe in Christmas magic.”

“I don’t say I don’t believe, it’s just I have my reserves.” Max stretches his neck and relaxes his body. “Let’s see if you have the right.”

For 4 hours they waited outside as they were covered in white and their faces turned red, spoke about every little thing like they were friends of life, and one more time the mysterious girl confirmed her theory. They saw little kids walking along their parents, teenagers who observed side to side of the street fearing someone could catch them doing something wrong, adults that simply stood longer like if closing the mailbox means as prayer and old people that after came across the street and gave them a small candy or coins for they bought something nice for these holidays.

When the few sunlights started to disappear, the girl stood and waved her hand to the other side of the street. 

“Well, Mr. Grinch, it's been a pleasure, I have a lot of fun.” Max felt overwhelmed but happy. “Thanks for joining me.” 

The girl extended her hand which Max gladly accepted and shook. “Oh my God! You’re freezing, you forgot your gloves or something?”

Max didn't forget them, it’s part of his training, resist the cold temperatures, hoping in a few years all these things bring thousands of joys for him and his family.

His lack of response made the little girl narrow her eyes but let it pass. “Put it on the fire as soon as you get home.”

Max chuckled. “Thanks, little elf.” He pointed to his beanie and her red black boots. 

The girl laughs purely nodding her head. “Same time tomorrow?”

“Count me in.” Max walks away but he notices he doesn’t have a name. “What's your name?!” He screamed as the girl kept walking backwards.

“I’ll tell you later!” 

As the years passed, that’s how Max spent every last two weeks of December, before parting ways the 2nd of January, walking around the small town, eating candies and spending hours in front of an old clockmaker's workshop; loving the company of a little girl with a red beanie and black boots. 

Their name never comes and honestly they never needed it. 

The year Max finally joined Red Bull he could barely wait for Christmas holidays to begin, he had big news to share.

But Christmas wasn't nice all the time, that year knowing he could turn in the main driver of Red Bull, his father strictly denied him to move far away from Milton Keynes, he must be there.

Max obedient waited at least for the 23rd of December hopping his father could change his mind, still he hasn't, so in a last attempted he asked to his sister Victoria, that please, at least she went there before New Years Eve searched in front of the old clockmaker's workshop for a girl with a red beanie and black boots, and told her he would go next year.

“Max, how would I know I found the right girl?” Victoria asked as they said goodbye in the airport.

Max shook his head and hugged his sister. “Please, just tell her to wait a little bit.”

The pleading eyes of his brother was all Victoria needed to agree and looked at the Christmas girl.

Unfortunately she didn’t get her goal, her mother and her flight connection delay a couple of hours by the time they arrived to Benasque, it was the first hour of the 4rd of January, even when Victoria went to the old clockmaker's workshop the owner told her the girl came like every year and go, last night.

“A little defeated, she waited for his little friend.” The owner said taking the red mailbox of the entrance. 

Victoria left her number in case the girl came but the owner was cleared, like the snow, she and her family only came that three weeks every year.

The next year Max started to make his own powerful path, fearing he could miss an important moment, he started to write all the special moments in a red notebook, he didn't want to miss any little detail for sharing with his little elf. 

The next year with a victory between his hands, and the support of his mother Max went to Benasque,  just maybe his elf could be already there. 

Until the day before Christmas she didn’t appear in any of the places they used to go. 

The old man came outside of the clockmaker's workshop with a cup of hot chocolate and gave it to him. “It’s weird for me too.”

Max took a sip seeing the marshmallow floating. “She came like always?” 

The old man smiles and nods softly like he could picture the scene of last year, a teenager girl coming in the last hours of Christmas eve with a folded blue paper for leaving in the mailbox.

“She waited a little bit longer that night.” Max felt his heart squeeze. “She waited for a last minute Christmas miracle.”

Max saw the mailbox and took a piece of paper from his notebook, leaving the cup next to him. “Do you have a plan in mind, young boy?”

Max smiled, writing as fast as he could. “Helping the big guy with a miracle.”

Max didn’t notice but the old man has a proud smile and the certainty that this bound is for life. 

With a folded piece of paper Max crossed the street, opened the mailbox and put his wish and understood why the adults years ago closed the lid carefully, fearing that their wish would not come true.

His first championship came and the little elf didn’t, like every year he waited for hours every day as he kept writing in his second notebook, but she didn’t come, and every Christmas Eve he left his same wish on the mailbox.

When his third Championship came he walked the street covered in snow with a backpack, now with 4 notebooks in it. 

However this time, the old man reached him before he even got to see the bench. 

“She’s here!” The old man's face is bright beside the cold wind. 

Max opened his eyes ready to run but he was stopped. “Wait boy. I heard from the woman at the bookstore that she was already here but she hasn’t come…”

“Thanks.” Max didn’t let him finish; he grabbed his arm before running to the bookstore three blocks away.

The woman repeated the same words, she was there, bought a book and left, without saying another word.

Max's blood froze but he had to ask. “Did she look sick?”

“Oh no, she is beautiful and healthy as always, the red cape is switched for a navy blue coat but stunning as always.” The woman smiles remembering how the small girl turned into this beautiful woman. 

“Did she have a ri…” The woman smiles tenderly at Max and grabs his frozen hand.

“Any man or ring with her, boy, she just seems anxious.” Max breaths out feeling his chest doesn’t hurt.

He tried to think where she could be but for years, they spent all their holidays around the town, she could be anywhere.

Following his ritual he took a piece of paper from his notebook with his wish and left it in the mailbox, just this time in the next morning, in the mailbox a blue piece of paper appeared.

“Take it.” The old man said take it out and give it to him. “Maybe it’s your miracle.”

Max with shaking hands and holding carefully, he unfolded the paper.

<Merry Chrisymas Mr. Freeze hands!>

She was there, she definitely was there.

“Are you nuts?!” Daniel said almost choking with his dinner.

Max has a plan in mind, using all his resources for having his wish come true.

“It’s just a few words in the air.” Max rest importance cleaning the corner of his mouth. “Besides it’s on the SIM, isn’t  harmful.”

Daniel rolls his eyes. “Harmful? No, but come on Max! Everything you said in a blink will be on X, instagram, facebook, and other platforms.”

“Exactly! More diffusion, more reach.” Daniel shakes his head knowing trying to change his friend's mind, even if it is useless.

“You already talked with your team? Redline team.” Max didn’t answer, just kept eating. “MAX!”

Max laughs. “I’m planning to do it tonight!”

His team agreed with the strong belief that Max won't get it, not because they didn't want it, just because he's trying to find an old friend with any name and just barely any information that could be used to find someone.

“Ok Max, your turn.” Crane mentioned preparing the next race.

Max feels nervous, he giggles before speaking. “I would love to get some help from all of you.”

The chat immediately went crazy saying they would be glad to help.

“I lost contact with an old friend, so I was hoping you can help me to find that person one more time.” The chat lights on asking for the name or country. “Well, keeping things private I’m only going to tell you, I’m helping Santa Claus just this year.”

Max reads the comment that it’s like finding a fish in the ocean, impossible. “We used to spend Christmas together, in front of an old clockmaker's workshop.” That’s useful information, Crane laughs reading the comment. “So, can you please tell; little elf, I’m giving a hand to the big guy with red costume.”

The moment quickly goes viral, all the people are moved by the fact a triple world wide champion lost an old friend and he’s trying to find it for Christmas. It's so tender.

What wasn't tender was how the season is going, the first races all point to another brilliant season for the team until it isn’t.

Max constant researcher is paused everytime, and by the middle of the year the only useful information he gets is that the team is using this research to make more people know about it. 

But Barcelona took him by surprise.

With another win Max is fully focused on celebrating until before leaving the paddock one of the girls in charge of liaison, runs to get him before he goes.

“MAX!” The girl looks like she's seeing a ghost, pale and with wide open eyes. “You must see this.”

She gives him what a plain sight looks like and an old photo, he takes it as they keep walking until the car.

Finally inside he takes his time, or that's what he planned to do until he notices he doesn't have to, he recognises the girl in the photo.

Standing in front of a big Christmas tree as another girl hugs her looking at the camera, the other girl older and taller, wearing a white cape and black boots is laughing; his little elf is standing there with that beautiful smile, her red cape, black boots and rosy cheeks.

“Where is she?” Max asks, grabbing the seat ready to open the door and go wherever she tells him she is.

“That’s the problem.” She moves her head indicating they're ready to go. “I don’t think she’s here.”

“What?” Max looks through the window in panic as the car keeps moving. 

The girl gives him a piece of paper, as a number on it. “The girl who gave me the photo is the older one, she said the girl in red is her little sister but…” Max notices the hesitation on his teammate.

“But…” The girl turns around to see him in the back seat, as she narrows her eyes, Max is going crazy every second.

“Well, she isn’t that confident you’re looking for her sister at the right moment.” Max didn’t mean to explode, however it’s hard to control his emotions. 

“What the fuck?!” He takes his cap rubbing his face in his hands. “Sorry, sorry, I just… What else did she tell you?”

“Call her, both of you need to talk.” 

Max's mind surrounds for endless questions. Where is she? Did she know he’s looking for her? How is she? Why isn't it the right moment? What the hell has to do her sister in all this? 

Arriving at his hotel room before going to celebrate he dialed the number, concreting a meeting tomorrow in the morning at his hotel. 

“This isn’t true!” Daniel screams so Max could hear him among all the noise. “Come on Max! You’re not that foolish to believe this.”

“It’s the only coherent clue I had!” Max takes a sip of his drink.

“Or maybe it’s the sign for you to give up.” Max looks at him with cold eyes. “It’s been 6 months Max, let’s be real we’re not in a movie.”

Lando finds them on the table. “Are you planning to stay here so I can bring you a cup of tea or have fun?”

Next morning Max wakes up earlier than usual, his mind full and confused with Daniel words and the photo in his hands, when the hour they meet approaches he walks more than 10 times to the door and back to his bed. 

Slowly he remembers when she turned 10 years old, and arrived before him. By the time he got to the bench she had in her lap a cheesecake.

“What is this?” Max pointed as she smiled, taking out a candle making space between them to put the cake. 

“It’s my birthday, well… it was, but I’m making my own wish come true.” She carefully put the candle in the middle of it.

“Weirdo.” Max smiles at the ways she is so excited. “Wishes don't tell unless you don’t want to make it real.”

“Reason why I’m making it real, duh.” The girl lights the candle carefully as crosses her hands, closing her eyes. 

Max immediately starts to sing a happy birthday song softly observing how her smile grows bigger, when it ends the girl blows her candle.

“Now, what was your wish?” Max asked, grabbing the spoon the girl gave him. 

“Spending my birthday with my best friend.” Max froze in the moment a spoon stuck on the small cheesecake and a girl eating like she just said the most casual thing of the world.

Max smiles softly seeing the photo one more time, fuck everybody, he’s follow his little elf steps, making his own wish true.

[stayteezdreams]

Peppermint Kiss

Plot: When you take the advice of Minghao's friends to force him to look at your friendship differently, you accidentally initiate a game of cat and mouse.

Pairing: Xu Minghao | The8 x Gn!Reader (Friends to Lovers)

Warnings: Stalking mentioned once as a passive joke.

A/n's: I hate this, I hate this, I hate this. I honestly had no ideas going into this, just a very vague idea of wanting to use mistletoe and peppermint. So this is what came from that lol I did end up rewriting the entire second half because I didn't like the first version and was getting major writers block. So, I hope you like this, I'm not sure I do. I couldn't get it out in a way I wanted. Thats what I get for not coming up with an actual plot before I had to write it.

Words: ~2.8k

You and Minghao had a thing, not a situation-ship, as there was nothing actually going on between you. But there was definitely something there. What it might become and when, you had no idea.

He flirted, you flirted back, he was snarky, you were snarky back, someone insulted you, he insulted them tenfold. When you were hurt or alone, he was there. When he was angry or upset, he came to you to find peace.

You were two different sides to the same coin, two different locks on the same door. Always close, but never more.

It was obvious to you that you had feelings for Minghao, but you kept them to yourself. Because it was also obvious that Minghao didn't know how he felt about you.

If he thought about it for longer than a few moments he might put it together, but would he? You wouldn't hold your breath.

He didn't think relationships were an important part of his life. And he already had you by his side, why change that? Even if that change came with perks, like dates, cuddling, kissing, se- well, you know, perks.

When you brought up your thoughts to Jun and Wonwoo, Minghao's closest friends, they told you to make him think about it.

"What? Like confess? Or confront him?"

They shook their heads in unison, "No, no, no. That would just make him panic and ruin it in the moment. No, make him think he's losing you."

"Losing me?"

"Yeah. I mean, honestly at this point I'm surprised he hasn't" Wonwoo said. "I see how much it hurts you the longer this goes on Y/n."

You pouted at this, and Jun gently smacked your arm, "Stop hanging around him so much. Put space between you to make him see what he is blind to up close."

You nodded along with him, "I guess I could stop hanging out with him. Though won't the other guys notice too. I mean, we usually all hang out together."

"We'll tell them."

"Tell them! No, no-"

Wonwoo put his hand up to stop you, "They already know how you feel. And they know Minghao is an idiot for not seeing it and not making a move yet."

"They all know. Great." You sighed as you threw yourself back onto Wonwoo's bed.

He sighed softly, "Is there a reason we're having this conversation in my room?"

Throwing his own pillow at him, you sat up, "Okay, so, I'll distance myself. We had plans to go see a movie tomorrow, should I cancel?"

They nodded and you let out a sigh, "Isn't this a bit mean though-"

"Just do it!"

"Okay okay, damn." You gave in, having no other options at this point.

And that was how this game of cat and mouse started, and honestly, you weren't sure how it was going to end.

You cancelled on Minghao, he was fine. You cancelled again, he was annoyed but got over it. You cancelled a third time, and he finally started to pay more attention.

It seemed that he would only see you when the others were around, and even then, you kept your distance from him. Avoided being alone with him, sat around the others so there was no space to him next to you. At first, he thought you were hiding something from him, but then he realized, you were just not hanging out with him.

Fine.

He wasn't sure what was going on, and you weren't gonna tell him. If you didn't want to hang out with him, he'd make you.

Going to get food with Joshua and Dokyeom? What a coincidence, he showed up too!

Hanging out with another friend group at the mall? "Hey Y/n, who’s that guy staring at you from across the store?"

You didn't think avoiding Minghao would cause him to stalk you out of vengeance, but it was what you were dealing with now.

"What am I supposed to do now?" You whined, once again messing up Wonwoo's bed as you flailed dramatically.

"I knew he would react, but not like this. He really is attached to you."

"But not in the way they want." Jun noted slyly, and you kicked him in the shin, earning a halfhearted 'Ow' in response.

"Maybe we should add in some jealousy." Jun suggested and you frowned.

"How?"

"Go on a date."

"Huh?!" You and Wonwoo looked at Jun as if he had three eyes.

"Oookay, then tell him you have a date and see what that does."

You grimaced, "What if he wants details? What am I supposed to do, make someone up? The only guys I know are you-"

"What about Jeonghan's friend that asked you out a few weeks ago?"

"Who- Oh." You had forgotten about him.

Hyungwon, he was handsome, seemed nice too. You ended up meeting at a get together and he asked you out afterwards.

You thought about it for a moment before you shook your head. "No, Hyungwon's too nice to use him like that."

Jun sighed, "You're right." He sat forward a bit, "Okay how about this then. We have a party or something and invite Hyungwon and some other guy friends and hope that one or some of them flirt with you. That should be enough to make Minghao jealous."

You shared a look with Wonwoo who shrugged. You let out a soft sigh, "Okay, I guess."

You nervously sat in the corner of the couch, in between Mingyu and Hyungwon. After rejecting Hyungwon before, you really didn't expect him to speak to you again, but here he was.

He was nice, and very handsome, but he was not Minghao. You were having a casual conversation with him and Mingyu, unaware of the eyes staring daggers into Hyungwon from across the room.

'He's too close'

Minghao sipped at his drink as he stared at the man in annoyance.

He had heard from Jun a few days prior, that Hyungwon had asked you out once already, and you rejected him. But that obviously didn't deter him.

And when Jun told him Hyungwon agreed to come this time, he followed it up with a comment he knew would get Minghao's brain turning, in hopefully the right direction.

"Who knows, maybe Y/n will say yes this time."

That comment, that one comment, made Minghao realize a lot of things he should have had a long time ago.

No one was good enough for you, not even him, but he sure as hell wouldn't allow you to be with anyone but him. Because you were his person. Why hadn't he realized it before?

It was the reason he was so torn up about you avoiding him, about you choosing to not be around him. It was why he became so unhinged in his determination to follow you around. Not having you in his life drove him crazy.

He never had any interest in dating, because he already had you, he didn't need someone else. He didn't go on dates because the two of you went out together enough already. And hanging out with you felt so different than when he was with one of the guys. With you it felt...special. It already felt like dating, he just hadn’t made that connection.

The idea of you being with someone that wasn't him unsettled him. But was he too late?

The way you smiled at Hyungwon made him afraid he was. Would you ever see him as anything other than your best friend? Did you already? Was that why you were avoiding him?

"Careful, you might burn a hole in something staring that hard."

Mingho looked over at Jun who appeared at his side. Looking at you and Hyungwon, Jun repressed a smirk.

"Why don't you go interrupt if you're so upset they are hanging out?

"What?"

Jun rolled his eyes, "Come on, it’s not I can't tell you're jealous. It's pretty obvious actually."

Minghao sighed before he spoke under his breath, just loud enough for Jun to hear, "Why didn't I realize sooner?" He had been kicking himself for days now.

Jun shrugged, "Because part of you didn't want to ruin what you had. So, you blinded yourself to what was obvious. Including the fact that Y/n has felt the same all this time. The only difference is, they accepted their feelings."

Minghao turned towards Jun with a wide gaze and the man chuckled. "You were so blind you couldn't see that Y/n was waiting for you. But you took too long."

"I- they-" Jun just nodded and Minghao let out a shaky sigh as he looked back over at you, his heart pounding heavily in his chest.

Jun leaned in a bit to whisper hopefully the final encouraging words. "Better do something now before you're too late again."

Minghao felt his chest clench when you laughed at something Hyungwon said as you now sat alone with him, Mingyu having disappeared.

He swallowed as he set his drink aside, leaving Jun by himself as he made his way over to you, determination filling him.

Jun smiled brightly at the sight, before locking eyes with Wonwoo nearby who nodded at him and gave him a subtle thumbs up.

Looking over as you felt someone sit beside you, your heart leapt when you came face to face with Minghao.

He was staring at you with a faint smile before he looked over at Hyungwon. You could tell he was annoyed, and that alone gave you butterflies.

Hyungwon greeted him but received only a nod in reply. You cleared your throat, "You've met before, right?"

"Only briefly" Hyungwon said as he gave Minghao an awkward smile, feeling the tension coming from him immediately.

Minghao struck up a conversation with Hyungwon, his tone slow, as he pried into Hyungwon's life to make him uncomfortable. You were constantly giving him a side-eyed look, but he was ignoring you.

Hyungwon could clearly see Minghao was jealous, and from your reactions, he could tell Minghao was the reason you rejected him. So, he smiled and answered Minghao's questions, mostly to kill his boredom, but also for a little fun.

Feeling uncomfortable in your own skin as you sat between an interrogating Minghao, and an unphased Hyungwon, you grabbed a candy cane from the table and began unwrapping it, needed to do something with your hands to help relax your anxieties.

Minghao spared a look at you as you started sucking nervously on the candy cane. He clenched his fist as something in him seemed to stir. He really was affected by you in a way he hadn't noticed before.

When you removed the candy cane from your mouth to say something to Hyungwon, he took it from your hand. You looked over at him to see him put the candy cane in his own mouth as he spoke to Hyungwon uncaringly.

You blinked a few times in shock. Minghao was always sensitive about sharing germs, he never even liked to share a straw with Jun.

Your eyes caught on movement behind Minghao's head, and you tore your eyes away from Minghao to see Wonwoo waving you over.

"Uhm- excuse me, I'm being summoned."

Minghao didn't look away from Hyungwon as you left, glaring as Hyungwon watched you leave a little too carefully.

"What are your intentions with Y/n?" He asked as soon as you were gone.

Hyungwon let out a soft laugh. "I don't have any. Y/n already rejected me, and I assume it's because of you."

"I didn't make them reject you, if that's what you mean."

"It’s not." He cleared his throat as he stood up, "I'm gonna head home now, I would ask you to say goodbye to Y/n for me, but I know you won’t."

Minghao let out a soft scoff as he left. Looking at the candy cane he took from you, he smirked as he realized just how comfortable with you, he was.

"What’s up?" You asked Wonwoo as you approached him.

He gestured to Minghao and Hyungwon, "I can feel the tension from over here, what is happening?"

"I don't even know. They're having a normal conversation but it's like standing in between two angry dogs."

Wonwoo chuckled at this, "Well, it looks like one finally backed down."

Looking back, you saw Hyungwon leaving, and you felt a bit of relief washing over you. As much as you had hoped your interaction with him would make Minghao jealous, you didn't want him to be too affected by Minghao's silent venom.

As Chan called Wonwoo over, you were left by yourself again.

Minghao suddenly looked back and caught your eye. He smiled softly before he stood up. You watched has he walked over to you and leaned down to whisper, "I need to talk to you."

Popping the candy cane in his mouth again, he walked past you and up the stairs. Swallowing nervously, you followed after a few moments, following him out onto the upstairs balcony.

You were smacked with a gust of cold air as soon as you walked out. Minghao noticed and slipped off his jacket before placing it over your shoulders.

"What about you?"

He shook his head, "I'm fine."

The two of you leaned on the balcony railing for a moment before Minghao spoke. "Do you like Hyungwon?"

You felt your heart skip as you shook your head. "No."

"Do you like me?"

Your breath caught as you looked over at him. He turned his head and met your eyes; he had a soft smile on his face. "Because I like you."

You forgot how to breathe as you stared at each other for a few moments. His gaze was soft as he spoke again, "I didn't really realize it until I thought I was losing you. But that was the point, right? To make me see it?"

Minghao had figured out enough from Jun's intervention, and the fact that you, he and Wonwoo had been sneaking off to talk a lot recently. They liked to intervene, and you were always too scared to do things on your own.

"You knew?"

He smiled softly, "I do now."

You let out a soft laugh, "I really wasn't sure how this was gonna go."

He turned towards you as he tossed the candy cane onto the nearby table, "I should thank you really." You gave him a perplexed look and he continued. "I don't know if I ever would have allowed myself to see it. I was so afraid of losing you that I was blind to the fact you were the one waiting for me."

Reaching out, he gently squeezed your cheek, making you frown. He grinned. "Did I hurt you? Making you wait so long?"

You thought for a second as you admitted honestly, "A couple of times."

His gaze turned sad as he let out a deep breath as he pulled you into a hug. "I'm sorry."

You rested your head on his shoulder as you took a deep breath. "I forgive you."

He smiled as he cupped the back of your head, "Thank you. Let me take you on a date to make up for it." He pulled away and smiled brightly at you, "A real date. A first date."

You bit the inside of your lip as you nodded happily. "Deal."

As another cold gust of wind blew past, Minghao shivered as he gently pulled your arm, "Let’s go inside."

Following him with a soft giggle, you made your way back inside but stopped with a grunt as you ran into Minghao's back.

"What?" You grumbled as you rubbed your nose, looking to see why Minghao had stopped suddenly.

Seeing him looking up at something, your eyes followed his gaze to see mistletoe hanging from the balcony door.

You frowned. "Was that there before?"

Minghao let out a soft scoff, "Considering I just saw Jun and Joshua run back down the stairs as we came back in, I'm going to say no."

You let out a soft laugh as you shook your head, "Meddlers."

He turned towards you with a grin, before he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you suddenly to his chest. You met his eyes with a stunned look, and he just grinned down at you.

"I can forgive it this time."

Leaning in slowly, your eyes remained locked, noses brushing, and then lips, before he kissed you. Your hand gently gripped the collar of his shirt as he pulled you in closer, deepening the kiss.

You smiled into his lips and felt him do the same as his hand intertwined through your hair, refusing to break the kiss.

You felt warm and giddy as you returned his kiss, only one thought entering through the euphoric fog. 'He tastes like peppermint'

xx End xx

Ugh, I do not like how this came out overall, though I am happy with the ending.

((Taglist Form))

12 Days of Christmas Taglist: @multi-fandommaniac, @mbruben-stein

General Taglist: @charmsprout, @brattybunfornct, @bahng-chrizz, @otakutrash669,

@tinyelfperson, @pinievsev, @teenyfinds, @everythingboutkpop,

@shymexican, @stillwjk-channie-lixie, @alexxavicry

Seventeen Taglist: @ye0nvibezzn, @dancinglikebutterflywings

Minghao: @lieutenantn

[ssentimentals]

joshua + halloween prompt

creature: siren

note: look at me, as always being late to the party :D open ending here cause i'm incapable of writing angst and i made sirens capable of transforming into humans for plot. enjoy!

'they change their appereance. it's a myth that sirens exist only in the deep deep oceans.'

joshua blinks, shaking himself out of the stupor. evening in unfamiliar tavern turned into a horror story night and at first he didn't even listen to what old woman was saying, but then he got pulled in by the story just like all other random travelers. her soothing voice paired with a horrifically gore story about siren who lured in all kinds of innocent men and women had everyone under some spell; joshua's head feels a bit dizzy like he's tipsy even when he only had a one glass of ale.

'they eat your soul,' woman finishes in a spooky whisper. 'and the worst part is that you'll give it to them willingly'.

shiver runs up and down joshua's spine and he bristles at the cold wind from open windows. he stares at the storyteller, who collects her small payment from kind strangers, counting her coins - joshua searches his pockets to give her some change as well. it was entertaining even if he feels a bit unsettled, like something is pulling at the pit of his stomach. he finds some coins to spare and opens his mouth to call for the old woman, when someone slides up at the seat next to him.

'hello, stranger.'

joshua traveled east and west, south and north, but he's never seen someone as beautiful as you. part of him wants to pinch himself to see if you're real and not a figment of his imagination; the aura you give off is too majestic and out of this world. he stares and stares, knows it's rude but he can't help it - your beauty pulls him in like a vice. 'hi,' he breathes out, gaining back his ability to speak.

you smile and lean closer, gesturing towards his glass of ale. 'is it good?' joshua nods. 'can i try it?'

'uh.' it's not like this is a weird request but he's never met bold women and during his travels he rarely met women at all; joshua fears his social skills are somewhere in the dirt now. 'yeah-yeah, sure.'

every move of yours is gracious and for joshua everything happens in slow motion: the way you lean in, how you take his glass in your hands, how you tip it and never close your eyes, maintaining eye contact with him as you take a sip. it sends big enough sparks to start a fire in his chest; joshua holds his breath while you put the glass back, licking your lips in the way that cannot be considered innocent at all.

'sweet.' you conclude, never once looking away from him.

ale is not sweet. ale is generally bitter and this one here is not even good, but joshua's mind fails to register that. in fact, his mind fails to register anything apart from your big eyes that draw him in, refuse to let him go. without thinking, he pushes his glass in your direction with: 'you can have it'.

joshua is usually smoother than this, that's the thing. usually it's him who has other girls blushing and stuttering over their words, eating up from his palm. he's handsome and he knows it, uses it sometimes for his advantage. but right now he's the one scrambling, trying desperately to come up with anything to make you stay. 'is there anything else you want? i can get you something to eat, what do you want?'

joshua knows the answer before it even leaves your lips: 'you.'

he feels it then. when you are this close - when did you even manage to get this close? - he can feel something. it's hard to pinpoint what exactly, but it is something. something that makes hair on his arms stand up and goosebumps awaken. something that dulls ringing alarms in his mind that scream at him to sharpen his attention, to maybe get away, to-

'don't fight it,' you whisper, rising your hand to gently caress side of his face. 'what a pretty boy you are. why are you fighting?'

joshua doesn't know. he's not very aware that he's fighting but even if he's been unconsciously fighting something, all the willpower leaves him, when your other hand snakes up his thigh. god, you are unreal. a goddess sent to him from above, a gift from-

'hell.' suddenly old woman's voice rings in his ears and he turns sharply, looking at the storyteller who now stands right next to him. 'go back to where you came from.'

pointed nails dig into his thigh painfully and joshua hisses at both this and how your grip on his face tightens. he doesn't see how your face confronts into a grimace but he catches dangerous glint in your eyes, when you turn to the other woman. 'leave,' you say but it sounds like an order. 'it's too late now.'

when older woman turns to joshua, he sees so much regret and despair in her eyes that it almost triggers panic in him. he almost sits up straighter, almost takes her hand. almost reaches out to ask what's wrong. almost, because before he can do any of that, you turn his head to your side, leaning so close that he can feel your breath on his face. 'come with me,' you whisper, looking right into his soul. 'i'll sing for you, my dear.' your hands find their way into his hair. 'i'll make you happy, i'll make you mine. don't you want to be mine, hm?'

your nails scratch just slightly but your grip on his hair tightens when you make him turn to the right, away from the old woman. joshua is hypnotized, lets you treat him like a ragdoll, almost moans when your tongue traces his jawline. god, yes. yes, yes, yes. he's saying it out loud and he has no idea, needing more of this, needing anything you can give him, willing to beg for it. he closes his eyes in a bliss and doesn't see how your smile turns predatory and how your eyes gleam with bright blue for a second before turning back to black. he doesn't see how you turn back to the old woman, whispering something to her in a language that no one knows. he doesn't see, he only feels and he feels like he's floating, when your lips are on his neck and jaw, when your nails dig painfully into his shoulders.

'pretty boy,' you whisper again and there's something raw in your voice, something he hasn't heard before. 'all mine, yes?'

'yes,' joshua confirms, following you as a puppy when you lead him from the bar.

his mind tingles with questions but when he thinks of them his head only starts hurting. you coo at him, all lovingly, walking in hurried steps closer to the shore. 'what did i tell you, hm? don't fight it.'

right, don't fight it. joshua nods dumbly, lets himself be whisked away. he looks into your beautiful eyes, when you start singing. he looks into your beautiful eyes, when you pull him into the water. he looks into your beautiful eyes, when your face and skin slowly start to change. he looks into your beautiful eyes, when water reaches his chin. he looks into your beautiful eyes, when your entire face distorts, turns white and blue. he looks into your beautiful eyes, when water enters his lungs. he looks into your beautiful eyes, when they turn blue. your beautiful eyes are the last thing he sees, when sea takes him under.

a/n: so. ugh i hate spooky stuff, i don't think that can even count as 'spooky' but oh well. this one is for @rwithkali and i know it's not what you meant but it is halloween, so sirens as monster creatures it is! - nini

my other seventeen works are here

my formula 1 works are here

[aemondapologistfrfr]

Era of Kings

vampire!viserys iii x vampire!twin!sister!reader

Summary: Viserys thinks he’s found an answer to win him the Iron Throne. He takes you across Essos to an unlikely city to find what he seeks. 

Warnings: 18+ viserys iii has dialogue and when that man opens his mouth 🫣, threats, blood, death(not mc), time skips, bathing, loss of virginity, oral(f), p in v

Authors Note: mans gets put in his place fr 🤗 literally asked my friend to give me a hotd man to write a vampire ff thinking he was going to tell me maegor but instead we got viserys iii - we still may get a vampire!maegor too like idk just something about him bathing in the blood of his enemies while drinking a chalice of blood 🧎🏼‍♀️ n e ways it’s halloween time and i wanted a vampire ff so this is what i got for rn :) 

Word Count: 7.5k idk sry

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I clench my jaw shut as I’m tugged out of the red door as he seals Dany inside. I hate that he’s having us leave her behind while we travel across Essos. I tried to ask him many times if we could just bring her with and his only response was to not anger him. I left her whatever coin I had left and promised her I would return. I’ve always tried to protect her from our brother but when he gets in his moods no one is safe. 

“Viserys-“ 

“I’ll hear no more of Dany on this trip.” he cuts me off waving his hand. He lifts me up onto a large black stallion and takes his place behind me, trapping me between his arms. “If I do hear another word, I’ll throw you off this horse and leave you.” he whispers in my ear. 

“Must you always be so mean, brother?” I murmur. 

“You know I would never.” his voice is unusually soft. “You’re to be my wife soon and rule over the seven kingdoms with me.” his words make my heart beat faster. He’s talked about wedding me for years and he says after he gets what he’s seeking he’ll have me after. 

“You’ve been saying that for-“ 

“Do you think I will not rule? Do you think I will not be king?” his voice is back to having its bite. 

“I know you will rule.” I keep my voice docile as I nod my head. I don’t know what we’re traveling to seek but I know it will change everything. 

“I wish Dany could understand like you do.” he sighs brushing my hair back. 

“She’s just a child, Viserys.” he pulls my hair at my words.

“Then she should heed my words.” I simply nod my head knowing fighting with him will get me nowhere.

“I’m surprised you didn’t ask for a larger company to attend to us on our travels.” I hum trying not to think about the sun beating against my face. The only other companions we have are two white mares carrying packs with supplies. 

“Illyrio said that I need to prove myself on this journey or I won’t be able to have what I seek.” he starts to slowly braid my hair allowing my neck to feel the soft breeze. He’ll never let anyone see this side of him. Not even our younger sister. He’s always so harsh and strict. 

“Do you wish for me to braid your hair as well?” I turn back to look at him and he shakes his head. 

“No, sweet sister. I’ll be fine.” he places a kiss on the back of my neck and we keep looking at the endless sea of grasses and sand.

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First Week of Travel

There’s been no reprieve of shade or even a breeze in the past two days. My thighs are aching from the constant riding and the sheer fabric of my dress is sticking to my skin. Viserys only allows us to stop at night for a couple of hours before we’re back on the horse. I don’t know if it’s heat sickness but I think I can see a city on the horizon and I will do anything to get us to stop there. 

“My brother,” my voice is scratchy and dry from the heat. “My king, please.” I turn to Viserys. “Please can we stop in the city. Just for the night.” I hear him sigh from behind me. “Please Viserys, please.” if I had more water in my body I would surely be crying at this point. 

“Hush now, there’s no need to get so worked up. We have to get more supplies and we can stay for one night. That’s it.” he rubs my back in an attempt to soothe me but all it does is make me hotter. 

“Thank you.” my voice cracks as the city starts to come closer to us. The sands know how to play mind games. The city which should’ve only been thirty minutes away was actually three hours of travel. My legs have been screaming at me and the moment Viserys helps me off the horse I collapse to the ground. 

“Get up. People are staring and you’re embarrassing me.” he hauls me up by my arm and I lean on him for support. “Gods must I do everything for you?” he grits out through his teeth. 

“I’m sorry.” I look up to him with defeated eyes. He leads us and our horses to the nearest inn and ties them up outside before starting towards the door with a remark of saying he should tie me up outside with them. At this point any place I can lay down will be like the soft embrace of our mother. He gets us a room and brings us up the stairs before pushing the old wooden door open. 

“Then go lay down while I go get us supplies.” I know I should go with him but my legs won’t allow it. I collapse on the bed and I hear him scoff as he sets some bags down. “I don’t even know why I brought you with.” he slams the door behind him and I pay no mind to his hurtful words. I sit up on the bed long enough to remove my dress from my still heated skin and collapse back onto the bed and allow sleep to take me for however long Viserys will allow. 

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“Wake up.” I jolt awake by Viserys’ harsh tone. “You couldn’t even unpack a bit before you just went to bed? While you slept I was out collecting supplies for us.” I wipe my eyes trying to wake up but my body is begging to lay back down. “Are you even listening?” he storms over to me on the bed. 

“I’m sorry, Viserys. I’m just so tired.” my eyes are focused on the cup of water in his hands. 

“Is this what you want?” he taunts shaking the cup in front of me and I look up to him pleading. 

“Please,” my voice cracks as I reach out for the cup. 

“What have you done to deserve this? Hm?” he tilts my chin up to him. 

“My king,” using his preferred title has always softened him. “Please, I beg.” my chest heaves just wanting a sip. 

“What kind of king would I be if I didn’t give my queen what she wanted?” his smile is serpentine as he puts the cup into my outstretched hands. “After you’re done, put your dress back on. It’s indecent, anyone could walk in.” he looks around the grungy room unimpressed. “Men here would just take you and not care about your protests and I won’t have a sullied bride.” I ignore his words and drink the water down. 

I nod my head at him and set the empty cup on the rickety table. I pull the sheer fabric back over my body and start to walk over to the bags he left. I don’t see why I must unpack if we’re leaving on the morrow but I’m not interested in facing his wrath. He watches me set out a fresh pair of clothes for him to change into in the morning and I begin to try and make the room to his liking as he sits on a chair and watches me. I look around and let out a small sigh that I’ve done all I could and make my way back to the bed. I fall back wishing the fabric wasn’t again sticking to my skin but I don’t want to anger him. 

“What are you so upset about now?” he shakes his head watching me as he sets out bread and cheese. 

“I’m so hot, Viserys.” I turn on my side to look at him. 

“We are the blood of the dragon. The heat shouldn’t bother you.” his eyes linger on my body before looking at my eyes. “Do you just want to flaunt yourself in front of me, is that it?” his lilac eyes darken as a smirk forms on his lips. 

“No, I would never.” I shake my head sitting up. “I didn’t mean-“ 

“Enough,” he waves his hand at me. “Come eat and then we’ll go to bed. We’re leaving at first light.” I sulk out of the bed and come sit at the small table with him. We eat in silence and pretend we don’t hear each other's stomachs roaring. The bread and cheese are quickly gone and he’s pulling me to the bed and I’m thankful for the reprieve of sleep. 

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Third Week of Travel 

The insides of my thighs hurt so terribly I cry myself to sleep most nights. Viserys turns his back to me under the stars and I try to cover my mouth so he doesn’t hear me. I dread the sunrise everyday. When the sun rises so does his temper as he sets me back on the horse and ignores my pleas of us taking another day of rest. 

“If you keep up this crying I’ll have you walk behind the horses.” he turns my head to look at him. “You think your legs hurt now sister, it can be so much worse.” a muffled sob leaves my lips and he stops the horse. He dismounts and holds his hands out for me. 

“Viserys, please.” I shake my head trying to steady my voice. 

“Get off. Now.” he pulls me down and I fall into his arms. 

“I’ll be quiet.” I look up to him pleading. “I’m sorry, Viserys. Please.” I jut my lip out and hold on to his arms. 

“Go get the blanket. We will rest for the rest of the day.” I pull him into a hug and he pulls my arms off. “Go before I change my mind.” 

“Thank you, my king.” I place a kiss on his cheek. I run and grab the supplies off our mares and he begins to erect our makeshift tent. It’s small and flimsy but it shades us from the sun. I crawl into the shade and spread our blanket down. I lay back on it and sigh with a smile. 

“And I’m sure you want for water and food and to take your dress off..” he trails off, tossing a skin of water and some dried meat into the tent. He crawls in through the flaps and starts to lift off my dress. I lay back once I’m bare and freed from the sticky fabric. “You’re absolutely indecent.” his fingers dance up my side making me squirm. 

“I’m sorry.” my words breathy. 

“Are you?” he leans over and brings the water skin to my lips. His moods change so quickly and as of late it’s been even worse. I just let them run their course and hope for the best. The water trickles down my neck and he chuckles, setting the water skin aside. He brings the meat to my mouth and begins to feed me and I chew slowly watching him. “Do you like when your king dotes on you?” he brings another piece of meat to my lips and I nod. 

“I do. Thank you, my king.” I hum looking up at him. 

“Shall I fan you off? You’re still so flushed.” he smirks as his fingers trail across my heated skin. 

“Viserys,” I whine squirming under his touch. 

“You tempt me every night.” his words low as his eyes devour my body. “In the middle of the night you press yourself against me.” he hovers above me. “You let out the softest whimpers and pleas.” he groans as his hand brushes under my breast.

“I’m sorry, I’ll try to be quiet.” my chest heaves as his fingers continue to dance along my skin. His hand engulfs my breast and his deft fingers roll my nipple pulling a whine from me. 

“You can’t even be quiet when you’re awake.” his voice taunting as he continues to pinch and tease my hardened peak. He releases my nipple and trails down my navel and I shut my thighs quickly. “Not yet, sweet sister.” he hums rolling off of me. “Get some rest. I want to be back on the road before dawn.” he grabs the water and meat for himself and starts to eat while I drift off. 

I turn my back to him and shut my eyes dreaming of our feather bed back in Pentos. The abundance of food and water we had. The servants who would fan us off or let us sit in a chilled pool when we got too hot. I try not to think of Dany or I'll get too sad. I’m thankful she’s not with us because this is no easy journey and our guide is no easy companion. 

“How long until we’re there?” I sigh, keeping my eyes closed. 

“If you don’t keep making us stop every other day then we can be there by the end of the week.” his words clipped. 

“I’m sorry.” I mumble before cuddling more into the blanket. 

“I’m sure you’ll have us stop again anyways.” I can feel his eyes on my back as I keep it turned to him. His words are harsh but his touch is soft and he gently kneads his fingers into my muscles. “Go to sleep.” he hums as he continues to massage me as I drift off. 

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Arrival in Valyria 

I look upon the ruined city of our ancestors and gape. I would give anything to have seen this in all its glory before the doom. I’ve heard all sorts of stories of why no one can travel here but Viserys has uncovered the truth for us. As we make our way to the heart of the city I start to see things out of the corner of my eye and turn my head quickly. 

“Stop jumping so much.” he scolds and I mutter out an apology. I crane my neck looking at the crumbling stone in complete awe of the architecture. I hear fast approaching steps and turn my head but no one is there. “What did I say?” he whispers into my ear and my spine goes straight as we approach the building. I can feel eyes watching us but make no attempt to try and find the owner of those eyes. He jumps off the horse and helps me down. We walk up the ruined steps hand in hand and as we go to push open the doors they groan open on their own. Viserys looks in and doesn’t see anyone and turns to me. 

“How strange.” he shrugs, pulling me along with him.  

“Viserys, I’m scared.” I whisper looking up at the great ceiling. 

“There's no need to be afraid, child.” my spine straightens at the voice in high valyrian. 

“Show yourself and bring to me what is owed to me.” Viserys’ voice echoes throughout the hall. 

“Viserys-“

“What is owed to you?” the voice laughs. “Tell me your name.” it demands. 

“Viserys, third of his name, rightful-“ 

“No, not you. Her.” I see a silhouette whisk in front of the giant stone hearth. I offer my name barely above a whisper. 

“Never mind her. I’m the one who has traveled all this way for you. She is merely here for my pleasure.” he walks up to the ghostly woman in front of the flame. 

“Viserys, wait.” he grabs my hand and pulls me along with him. 

 “Both of you kneel.” I kneel down on the stone that licks through the fabric of my dress. I keep my head down and steal glances at Viserys who is squinting trying to figure out who stands before us. “Are you ready?” I see the bare feet in front of us and I go completely still. 

“Oh yes,” I see Viserys tilt his head up and I look over to him in horror. 

“The era of kings has passed, we now enter the era of queens.” the voice caresses my ears and before I know it she breaks a vial over my mouth and its contents spill down my throat. 

“What have you done?” Viserys shouts into the now empty hall. The person before us has disappeared and I feel.. I feel. I can’t explain it. “Get up.” Viserys drags me up from the floor and looks at me. 

“Come to me, my child.” I jump as the voice speaks directly into my mind. 

“He won’t let me.” I shake my head as Viserys looks at me like I’ve gone mad and maybe I have.

“You’re faster than he is now. Run up the stairs and come through the third door on your left.” she instructs me. 

“I don’t want him to be harmed in my absence.” the voice chuckles in my mind and goes silent. I open my mouth to say something to Viserys but the smell of him floods my senses and I feel my gums splitting open. 

“Come upstairs or you’ll be the one to harm your brother.” I feel the tears start to pour over my face as my mind races. 

“Viserys, I’m so scared.” I step back from him as he stares at me in a trance. “Viserys?” he just stares at me so I dash up the stairs. I shake my head trying to figure out how I got to this door so quickly. It creaks open and I look inside before entering. 

“You’re safe, my child.” the voice doesn’t offer me any semblance of comfort but I’m thankful it’s out loud and not in my head. “Ask the questions floating around your head.” the woman comes out of the shadows. 

“Am I going to die?” she brushes her silver hair over her shoulders as she chuckles and I’m rendered speechless at her beauty. 

“You will never have to fear death again.” she hums lounging across a chaise. 

“What happened to my teeth?” she chuckles and points to the mirror. I’m in front of the cloudy glass the next second. I open my mouth as gasp when I see the two fangs jutting out of my gum line. I look over my features and see that they’re more defined and prominent. I turn back to her and she’s smiling. “I’m..” I grab my throat. 

“Mm, I almost forgot.” she claps her hands twice and another like her comes out with a young man in tow. “Have a taste.” she gestures to the man and the other person lingers by the door watching. 

“How?” I look at the woman with worry. She’s next to the stunned boy and tilting his head to the side bearing his neck. She nods to me as her fangs press out and she sinks them into his neck. She releases him just as fast as she bit him and gestures for me to come. 

“You can kill him if you wish. You don’t have to stop.” I’m taken aback by her words but I ignore them unlike my thirst. I press my teeth into his sink and the second his blood hits my tongue I’m lost. The boy goes limp in my arms as I continue to drain him. I pull back panting heavily as I watch him collapse to the ground. “Feeling better?” she smiles at me. 

“Who are you?” I ask tilting my head. 

“No one of importance.” she waves me off. “Ask your other questions so we can return to your brother.” Viserys. He completely slipped my mind. 

“I didn’t want this. My brother did.” I shake my head stepping back from her suddenly too aware of the blood dripping down my neck. “Can I share this gift with him and my sister?” I look to her hopeful. 

“You can, but I’d suggest making your brother prove himself first.” she hums with a slight frown. “All he needs is your blood and for you to will it so.” I'm relieved that there’s a way for me to keep them safe and with me forever. 

“So we can’t die?” I watch her walk over to me. 

“You can, but no one knows how.” she links her arm with mine and we begin to walk down the hall. As we descend the steps it’s like I’m in a brand new hall as I take in all the detail I missed before. I sigh in relief when I spot Viserys in the same spot I left him, unharmed. 

“There’s another gift that you received. It’s mainly used in the common tongue to help settle your meal, but can be used whenever you deem fit.” she smiles wickedly. “Come, Viserys.” he walks over to us as we get off the last step. 

“You speak the common tongue?” I furrow my brows. 

“Of course, child.” she laughs, throwing her head back. “But we’re in our homeland, why would we speak the tongue of those lesser than us?” 

“Can this other gift be used on people like us?” I tilt my head. 

“Only by the person who made you.” my anxiety spikes at her words. “Worry not. I never leave this place and have no intention to do so or use it against you.” she offers me the first reassuring smile I’ve had in years. “It takes a little more strength to get it across but you can.” she nods at my brother before us.

“Did you make him stay down here? Why is he like this?” his silence is deafening. I’m waiting for him to yell, to throw something, or to drag me out of here. 

“I did. Try to undo it.” she smiles while watching me. 

“Break free of her words brother.” he has the same look on his face and I frown. 

“Try again.” she nods at me. 

“Viserys, please hear me.” my voice threatens to break. “Break free of her words.” I plead and his face instantly crumples. 

“How dare you take what is mine?” his eyes narrow on me. 

“I didn’t.” I shake my head stepping back. The woman next to me watches us with an amused expression. 

“After all I’ve done for you?” he slowly starts to walk towards me and I stay where I am finally realizing I have the upper hand. 

“And I have done a lot for you.” he offers me a wicked smile. 

“Is that so?” he tilts his head studying me. 

“I’ll be around,” the woman sighs as if she’s bored. “There’s some more food for you out in the back stables.” she offers me a nod and disappears. 

“How does it feel then?” he stalks around me and I feel his gaze on every inch of me. 

“Intense, overwhelming, freeing,” I shake my head trying to pick the most prominent emotion. “Powerful.” I nod. 

“Will you change me, sweet sister?” he stands in front of me once more and I purse my lips studying him. 

“We can discuss it.” I reply feigning a yawn. “For now I’d like to rest. It’s been a long journey.” I start down a hall and hear him trailing behind me. 

“You want to rest here?” he looks at the castle that is slowly being reclaimed by the elements. 

“I’m sure there’s a feather bed that’s not in use.” I crack open the first set of doors and find the kitchen. I shut the doors with a groan. “Do you know of the being that I am?” I glance over my shoulder at Viserys. 

“I know everything there is to know.” I hear his heartbeat accelerate and scrunch my brows. 

“Liar.” I fully turn toward him. I study his face as his heart races. I glance at his neck listening to his blood flow. 

“Don’t look at me like that.” his voice wavers and I think this might be the first time I’ve seen him frightened. 

“Not even just a taste?” my nose is against his neck before his next breath. I should be embarrassed at being so crass but I can’t help it. The smell of him and how fast his heart is beating pull me in. 

“Let’s go find you a bed.” he nods at me pulling out of my reach. “I could even go fetch some of your food.” he offers and I smile revealing my fangs. 

“I would like that very much.” I hum and turn to continue on my search. Viserys finds me suitable chambers with a large dusty featherbed that he’s been spending the past ten minutes cleaning off for me. I look around and see that everything has been left untouched since it was abandoned. I make my way over to the window to look upon the bones of the once great city that have been left. 

“I wish to try something.” I hum and turn to him. 

“What?” he stands up quickly. 

“Come here.” he walks over to me instantly and his brows furrow. “Back to the bed.” I lift my chin and watch him walk back. 

“What is this?” his anger makes a slight breakthrough. 

“Come back over here.” I softly smile. 

“Enough of this.” he says through his teeth. “I will-“ 

“Kneel.” he goes to his knees before me. 

“Sister.” his tone is bold for his position. I dip down and cup his cheeks and look him in the eyes. 

“I want you to know that even if I do change you I will still be able to do that, because I made you. You will never hold that kind of power over me again.” his heart skips. 

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One Week Later

I was thankful to see that our horses were well cared for and are ready to make the journey. She was kind enough to have a covered carriage repaired for us and has our horses linked up to it. I gathered more information from our host and she told me I will always be welcome back. She was kind enough to offer me a couple skins of blood until I could make it to the next city. I watch as Viserys packs our bags and supplies. Once he’s done he helps me in and closes the door behind himself and sits with his back to me as he holds the reins and the carriage jumps into action. 

“Are you nervous to leave?” he turns back to me as we trail through the city. 

“No. I want to see what it’s like out there now.” I feel such a sense of safety knowing I’m no longer the prey.

“Do you think you’ll change me?” I watch his hands tighten on the reins. 

“We can discuss it on the road.” I smile to myself hearing him groan. Leaving the city is completely different than I thought it would be. “I’m thankful we have shade on the journey back.” I sigh lounging back in the seat watching as we pass through the last of the stone gates.

“Let me know when you need to stop and refill your skins.” he looks over his shoulder. 

“Do you think I look different, brother?” he hooks the reins to the carriage and turns to me with a smile. 

“What do you mean?” he tilts his head letting his eyes trail over me the same as they always have. 

“Do you think Dany will be able to tell?” I nibble on my lip. 

“If she does, we can just blame it on the journey.” he reaches across and cups my cheek. “Sister you were beautiful before but now.. Gods.” his voice soft as he shakes his head. 

“Viserys..” I watch him study every inch of me. 

“That woman was right saying we were in the era of queens.” his eyes find mine. “Everyone who sees you will bow to you.” I have no idea what’s gotten into him. Maybe he’s genuinely scared of me now or is just doing everything he can to make me want to change him. 

“You’re never this soft with me.” I search his eyes. 

“Do not start with that.” he waves me off. “I was always the kindest to you.” a laugh bubbles out of my mouth at his words. 

“On the journey here you threatened me at least ten times a day.” he winces as my voice raises. 

“I will make up for it. I promise.” he nods his head. 

“Trust that you will.” I hum and settle back into my seat. 

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First Week of Travel

I smile as our carriage comes to a stop outside a cities walls. I slowly stretch out as Viserys starts to take some of our bags out. He opens the door for me and offers me his hand as I step out. He’s been uncharacteristically polite over the past week and I know it’s because he wants me to change him sooner rather than later. I like the idea of making him wait but I’m selfish enough to want to look at his beauty forever. 

“Your friend didn’t happen to give you any coin, did she?” he whispers in my ear and I chuckle. 

“We won’t need coin anymore.” I pull him in the direction of a nice inn. As we step through the front door we’re greeted by smells of hot food and ale. I walk us up to the innkeeper and offer him a simpering smile. 

“What are you doing?” I brush off Viserys words. 

“We require the best room you have. Along with a hot meal and clean water to bathe.” the innkeeper looks us up and down and clears his throat. 

“And how are you paying for this?” his voice weathered from too many years. 

“We are your honored guests for the night. We won’t be paying for anything.” I keep my voice steady hoping this will work or we’re going to be kicked out of this city. 

“Of course.” the man nods his head and calls a small child over. “Take them to the room at the top of the stairs and see to it that all their needs are met.” the boy furrows his brows. 

“Aren’t you staying in that room already?” the child tilts his head. 

“Not tonight. Freshen up the room for our honored guests.” he smiles at me and Viserys. 

“Thank you.” I hum. 

“No, thank you.” he offers us to sit at a table and dine while our room is prepared. I pick at the food on the plate and push it around so it looks like I’m eating but I’m looking around trying to find an unsuspecting victim. 

“Your room is ready and the bath is currently being filled.” the boy comes up to our table glancing at me. He escorts us to our room and comes back a moment later with soaps and oils for the bath and disappears. I look around at the small room and I’m just thankful it’s clean. 

“Do you wish for me to bathe you?” Viserys asks from the bed. 

“I will never tire of you doting on me.” I sigh as I start to untie my dress. 

“Allow me.” he comes behind me and slowly pulls the strings undone. His heartbeat is steady as his fingers trail across my skin. As the dress pools at my feet I can hear his uneven breath. 

“Do I still tempt you?” I turn and face him with a smile and watch as his eyes travel over every inch of my body. 

“Very much.” he swallows as his eyes linger at my breasts. “My queen.” his eyes snap up to mine and I study him. 

“Mm, I quite like the sound of that.” I hum, turning and walking to the bath. I dip in the steaming water and let out a moan as it engulfs me. I watch with low lids as he walks o e froth the soaps and oils. He stops to grab a cloth before kneeling beside the tub. He adds in the floral smelling soaps and oils and I relax further back into the tub. 

“May I?” I nod watching him wet the cloth. He starts with one of my arms and his touch is gentle and unhurried. I let my eyes close as he starts on my other arm. He prompts me to sit up and starts to wash my hair. I let out soft sighs as his works the soap into my hair before letting the warm water wash it out. His fingers linger on my skin and I smile to myself at his tantalizing touch. 

“I wish to get out now.” I rise and look down at him still on the floor. His gaze is hungry as he stays on the floor looking up at me. I step out of the tub and stand in front of him. He reaches out for my dripping body and I step back with a smirk. Ever since I was changed I’ve had this new sense of confidence and an insatiable desire. “Will you help me dress?” he nods quickly before rushing to the bed to retrieve my dress. 

“Do you wish to go find food?” he helps me lift my dress up and begins to tie it. 

“Unless you’re offering yourself?” his heartbeat quickens as he stills. 

“Could you eat without killing me?” I can hear the slight shake in his voice as he finishes tying my dress.

“I could. You could be my personal source for the rest of our journey.” my fangs split through my gums at the thought. “You smell divine, Viserys.” I turn to him.

“Try it.” he nods at me. I walk over to him as slow as my hunger will allow and I inhale deeply at his neck. I trail my tongue across his skin and I feel my fangs throb in anticipation. I slowly sink my teeth into him and we groan in unison. As his blood flows down my throat I hold him closer. The taste of him is overwhelming. I have to coax myself to let go of him and lap against the marks. “Was that okay?” he pants looking me over still in his arms.

“Perfect.” I lick my lips and watch his eyes darken. “I want my dress off, I'm hot.” I look up at him and he glances at my lips. He makes quick work of my dress and he brings me to the bed. 

“I’ll find something I can use to fan you off.” he starts to walk away but I grab his wrist. 

“Lay with me?” I tilt my head pulling him back over to the bed.

“I want to- I need to touch you.” his eyes search mine and I raise an eyebrow at him. 

“What happened to not wanting a sullied bride?” his nostrils flare at my words.

“You’re to be my bride. My queen.” I chuckle at his words. They help me remember that I’m still making him prove himself after everything. 

“Mm, never mind.” I wave him off. “Go find something to fan me off with.” I crawl into the bed and lay back. I hear his slight scoff as he rummages around until there’s silence, followed by a cool breeze. A shiver trails through my body and I rub my hands against my chest and I hear his heart race. “It’s gotten chilly.” I graze my fingers against my nipples and squirm. My legs squeeze shut as he looks down at me. 

“Do you want me to stop?” his voice low as he watches me. 

“No.” I shake my head as I let my hands trail down my torso. “Viserys,” I whine as my hand dips lower until his fingers wrap around my wrist. 

“Enough. Go to bed.” he tosses a blanket over me and slips into bed next to me fully clothed. 

ততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততত

One Week Away From Pentos

We lay out under the stars and I listen to his steady heartbeat. I turn to him and admire his beauty in the pale moonlight. We still have stopped at a couple cities so I could fill my skins. He’s been eager to offer himself to me but with the high temperatures I don’t want to risk him as my only source. Tonight all I can think about is how sweet he tastes. 

“Viserys,” I hum rolling over onto his chest.

“Yes, my sweet sister?” he smirks at me as his fingers dance up the skin of my back. 

“Can I have a taste?” I scoot up his body to rest my mouth near his neck. 

“Of course,” he tilts his neck and holds my waist. 

“Viserys?” I murmur against his skin. 

“Hm?” he helps me settle more comfortably atop him. 

“Why do you sleep fully clothed?” he chuckles at my question. 

“Do you wish to see me?” I hear the smile in his tone. 

“I do.” I purse my lips sitting up. I start to lift off his tunic while he looks at me in amusement. I unlace his trousers and yank them down his legs and take in his lean form. “Mm, you are quite handsome.. well endowed.” I tilt my head as my eyes roam over his body. 

“And what would you know of that?” he props himself up on his elbows. 

“Talk among the ladies and staff is quite scandalous, brother.” I chuckle crawling back on top of him. “I’d still like my taste.” I lick against his neck and he pulls my body flush against his. 

“Quit teasing,” he growls, digging his fingers into me. 

“You are in no position to make demands.” I sink my teeth into his neck and he jerks his hips into me. I press myself closer against him as my tongue lashes against his neck. I pull off of him letting my tongue trail against his skin. I press soft kisses across his throat as he holds me tightly. I lean back and look down at him. We’re both breathing heavily and he searches my eyes before pulling me back down against him. 

“You are divine.” his words and eyes are filled with devotion as his hands travel up my sides. 

“Let me change you and wed you at the same time.” he furrows his brow. “We have dragon glass in one of our bags.” I push off of him and walk over to the carriage. I come back with the small blade and see him sitting up. I sit across from him and offer him the blade. 

“There’s no maester or witness.” his words hushed. 

“We’ll know.” I nod my head. He presses the blade against his lip and his palm before handing it to me. I mimic his movements and clasp our hands together. We repeat the vows and he presses his lips to mine. I taste our blood mix and it sends my senses into a frenzy. 

“Change and stay with me. Forever.” I don’t know if the words flooded from my mouth or directly into his mind but I felt the shift. His hands dig into me harder. I feel his fangs scrap against my lips as blood smears across our face. Our hands roam across each other leaving trails of pink from our cuts. 

“Can I taste you?” his voice strained as he waits at my neck. I nod and a moan tears through me when he sinks his teeth in. I shutter in his arms as he gently lays me down. He hovers above me still lapping at my neck. He rolls his hips into me and small gasps spill from my lips at the friction. 

“Viserys,” I whine as he stays attached to my neck. His hand slides between my thighs as I gasp as he drags a finger up my slit. He finally lifts his head up and I see my blood dripping down his chin. His lips crash to mine while his fingers continue to brush against my wetness. 

“Shh shh,” he shushes against my lips as he swirls his fingers around my bud. “Let me take care of you.” he kisses back down my neck. “My queen.” he kisses across my chest. His soft words and touches have me squirming in his arms. 

“Viserys, please,” I whine as he kisses across my chest. 

“Mm, what are you begging for? What did those scandalous talks tell you to beg for?” he taunts sliding his fingers down to circle my core. 

“A kiss between my thighs.” my cheeks flush as he grins. 

“Then that’s what you shall have.” he snakes down my body and I look down at him between my legs. He places a soft kiss against my bud and looks up to me. “Like that?” I shake my head. 

“More.” I furrow my brows. His lips encase my bud as his tongue starts to swirl against it and I gasp and whine above him. He holds my legs open as his tongue lashes against me. “Yes, I-“ my stomach tightens as my fingers dig into the blanket. His tongue moves even faster and I begin to roll my hips against him. “Vis-“ my voice breaks as I burst across his face. He continues to lick at me as my hips jerk against him. 

“Can I try something else?” his fingers slide through my wetness brush against my sensitive bud. 

“Yes.” I nod my head watching him with pleasure filled eyes. He dips a single finger into me and I let out quick gasps as he pumps. I quickly get used to the intrusion but it doesn’t stop my squeak when he presses a second long finger into me. “Viserys,” I cry out as he starts a slow rhythm. My hips roll into his hand as he continues to push his fingers into me. 

“Gods you are so wet.” he groans, starting to move his fingers faster. Moans pour from my mouth as he curls his fingers and I try to squeeze my thighs shut. “Does that feel good?” he chuckles, leaning down to whisper against my neck. I nod my head as I chase my approaching high. His teeth sink into me and I combust around his fingers chanting his name. “The sounds you make are so beautiful, my wife.” he hums, pressing his lips against my neck, removing his fingers. 

“Please,” I whine as he moves its tip through my wetness. I tremble as he presses against my bud before coating himself in my pleasure. He slowly presses into me watching my face. With every inch I think it’s the last but he keeps filling me. “Viserys,” my voice a breathy plea. His hips finally rest flush against mine as he stills inside of me. 

“Hold still.” his fingers dig into my hips to stop my squirming. I start to relax around him and he starts to move. My breath is stolen from me as his pace quickens. He wraps my legs around his waist and I raise my hips to meet his. He leans down and our lips clash as our tongues push against one another. We take and give pleasure to one another and right as I feel myself about to explode I sink my teeth into his neck and my eyes roll to the back of my head. He fills me as my name falls from his lips before he collapses next to me on the blanket. 

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Back in Pentos

When we walk back through the red door Dany is sitting on the couch with the same bright smile so remembered. When she sees us she runs over to us and pulls us into a hug. I was so nervous she would notice we were different than before. She eyes Viserys skeptically as his attitude and demeanor are much more different than before. 

“What has gotten into you?” Dany looks up at Viserys as he places a kiss on her head. 

“Your sister and I finally wed over our journey.” he smiles at me. Dany looks to me alarmed but I give her a reassuring nod. We’ve decided to tell her of our marriage but we don’t wish to tell her about eternity yet. She’s only ten and we want to protect her for as long as we can before offering her to pause in time as a child. 

“I’ve found a way to keep us all safe.” I pull her into my embrace. “When you’re older I’ll explain everything but for now just know that you are safe. Your brother and I will protect you.” I hum and she hugs me tighter. 

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masterlist 🔌 

every time i want to write a chill one shot it’s not chill

in a vampire mood rn so im so down to write more actual hotd men as vamps just lmk fr pls

taglist ✍️ 

@clarityisnofun @gabriella-aesthetic @callsignwidow @llynx7 @violetiss3lfish @ka1afbr @akiko-oo @papichulo120627 @lizzylovebooks280501 @thatgirl101blog @ 1-fuzzy-squirrels @arya-brooke @ashovertheriver r @zanygot7straykidsbonk @hueanhdang @malfoycassimalfoy @april-notthemonth69 @anaviieiraaa @p45510n4f4shi0n @neocockthotology @thereaderwitch @hardkiddonut @faenyra @hiimava11 @daintylittlesunflower @primroseluna @fiction-fanfic-reader @povofjustme @multilover19 @alexxavicry @cedstars @fuckalrighty @mrsmunson-harrington

[angelflms]

Okay, so I have been thinking so much about this (I have been talking aloud to myself for like ten minutes bc I've invested myself wayyy too deep into this), but I think I know why Miguel bothers me so much despite being my favorite character.

The writers suck.

Now, I know I don't have screenwriting credibility and I'm merely just a girl and I know that perhaps they can't cram all of this shit into the show and make room for literally everyone else, BUT I think the reason why so many people don't like Miguel as a character is because he doesn't have much of a character to work with. So whenever he does something that shows character (the Mexico storyline, the Stanford storyline), no one feels bad for him. I think that maybe if he had definitive arcs for each season, while weaving it better into Robby's arcs (since they're foils and tethered to each other), he would actually be likeable. So I wanted to show you what I feel like I would do to write Miguel's post school fight arc. Feel free to tell me your opinions. (buckle up, this is a long one)

S3a

similar to what we see

but we actually get to be more into Miguel's mental response to the aftermath

I dont' think they went enough into his feelings with everything and that everything went a bit too fast (for Miguel) during the season.

perhaps they could've gone deeper into his PTSD, similar to what they did with Sam.

but instead it preventing him from going to school, it prevented him from doing karate all together.

it was clear early on that karate and Johnny slowly became all that Miguel cared about.

Johnny was sending mixed signals and Kresse's entry into CK was conflicting as their ideals were different.

Johnny made it clear that CK's mottos are a way of life, so Miguel was moving the exact way one would in karate irl.

Karate was his life. And it nearly ended it as well.

I don't believe Miguel would immediately still want to be so gung-ho about joining karate again after nearly dying from it.

Johnny would lose Miguel's trust and would fight for it back. He already lost Robby. He can't lose Miggy too.

Miguel doesn't want to be around him for now, despite feeling bad for pushing him away

S3b

When finding out he was paralyzed, it hurt to find out, but at the same time, with his conflicited feelings about karate, he would feel a bit relieved.

I like to think that when the surgery worked, everyone was happy but Miguel because now people are going to expect him to want to go back to doing karate.

Eventually he and Johnny have a heart to heart and make up, though he's still a little bit hesitant on trusting him

he does reluctantly join Eagle Fang and he tries to make an effort to train again and get past his fear

Though things still feel like what it was like at CK, which isn't something Miguel is enjoying

Plus him being the only shot they have for the All Valley is putting presure on him, mainly due to Johnny

The scene where he tries to kick but fails happens

He falls and flashbacks of the school fight happen

He gives up and says he isn't doing karate anymore

That is until the finale fight when CK comes in and fights the EF/MD kids and Kyler beats him up

he remembers why he started karate in the first place and starts fighting again

He chooses to do karate again

S4

Again similar to what we see (Johnny and Carmen, the intro to Kenny, etc)

I think he still feels weird about being back in the world of karate and latches onto Daniel more as a sensei now with the conjoint dojos situation (he's a lot softer on him knowing his situation)

Which pisses Johnny off and makes him jealous (he just misses his kid ya know?)

He tries to make an effort with Miguel but he grows more distant after hearing Daniel's side of the events during TKK

This season could heavily parallel s2 with Kiaz as they're on the opposite sides of the coin now with Robby being with CK and Miguel learning more Miyagi-Do techniques

This could also bring more tension with Lawrusso because of how they're both treating and training him and how Johnny thinks Daniel is taking Miguel away from him

(maybe a fight scene about this idk)

Perhaps Miguel starts feeling bad about pushing Johnny away as he very much still cares about him and sees him trying

Daniel does talk to Miguel about how Johnny does care about him and how he's beaten up about everything and how he wishes he could change everything

This will make the whole "I love you" "I love you, too Robby" scene a lot worse

Miguel feels lost again

The sprain he gets during the All Valley was the final straw for him as he has a panic attack and in a heap of emotions, he leaves for Mexico, not just to find his dad, but to genuinely run away from everything

Also throughout this season, I really wanted to see more of Robby being guilty for what he did during the fight but pushing it away until he sees what Kenny does to Anthony and realizing that history is already about to repeat itself

Also also we do see Miguel talk about collage but brings up that he wants to become a PT (did I take this from someone who reblogged my other rant, yes) and probably want to go Boston University (they have a PT degree program)

S5

Same as we see for the most part

I was hoping Miguel would bring up the whole "I love you" situation but he never did and I wonder why

I wish we saw bits of the car ride home from Mexico and the awkwardness between the boys (there's a good ao3 fic that does this pretty decently)

Perhaps Robby can tell that something is off with Miguel though and tries to spark conversation but the latter refuses to talk to the former because of the school fight

I think the break up should still happen

Both because with everything going on with him, the breakup would just be another stab in the chest, but also because that fucking scene was so good!! Like idk if Mary and Xolo get their flowers for that scene but I'ma need them to get their flowers for that scene

Now he's just this ball of emotions

Johnny still wants to push for the boys to be close since he's caring for both of them now (and ofc the baby) so like in the actual s5, he still tries to get them to talk

Now I would've preferred a heart to heart reconciliation (similar to samtory s6) but since the dudebros would think that's too soft and this is a fighting show, the balcony scene would be fine

Though I do think in a later scene, Kiaz should have a more emotional talk with each other

Miguel just talks about how hard it has been since the school fight and how everything keeps on changing and everything gets a lot for him

Robby tells him that he gets it and confesses how guilty he feels for being the one to put him in the hospital

And then I feel like the rest of s5 can go the way it did

i don't know. maybe this is too convoluted but I do think that the lack of characterization and constant mischaracterization of miguel diaz is due how poorly the writers went about him post s3a imo. i think they could've done something great with him in a way people felt for robby you know? they always randomly bring things up as a way to say "hey he has trauma too" but it's always at the most inopportune times and it always comes off half-assed instead. i love miguel so much because of his happy-go-lucky energy but he has so much wasted potential which is wild to say when he's the main character.

[ihopesocomic]

You said that I Hope So is not a "My Pride but better", it's an original story of yours. Fair. I don't disagree. But do you really think you're SUCH a better writer than tribble? 😭 Because every time someone PMs you in a way that isn't negative, you start to completely shit on it, and compare it to how you decided to do it differently in your own story and how it's so much better. Hold on there. I just think artists/writers should be careful when they worship and praise their own works too much while shitting on others works that often were born from a similar idea. But I'm not hating, it's just funny tho.

It's not about us "thinking we're SUCH better writers than Tribble", it's more that's your interpretation of what we're saying. I'm willing to bet that if we didn't have this comic, the argument would be more along the lines of 'well, I'd like to see you do better!' instead. This is just the flip side of the coin, I feel.

I say this because you seem to have this idea that she and her writing are untouchable to criticism vs. something like Warrior Cats, (which is where a lot of MP's narrative structure is inspired from), which even the self-admitted fans can find fault in. Still doesn't mean they can't find the potential in those books and make their own AUs or w/e without also suggesting they're better writers than the Erins. (Either way, certain expectations come with being a professional writer.)

Even without the badly-handled topics, her show just isn't written well. Dialogue is clunky and non-conversational, things get mentioned but never get followed through on, character motivations are all over the place. We have a whole three hour video talking about this if you'd care to watch it. But there are other things that I feel make Tribble an objectively bad writer. This isn't us "shitting on her". These are just fundamental factors that go against How to be a Good Writer 101:

Tribble never listened to criticism and she used serious issues as entertainment value. No one can argue that even highly-rated writers can produce incredibly sloppy work when 1) they feel they don't have to listen to criticism and 2) they feel they don't have to do proper research with a topic they want to cover in their work while knowing next to nothing about it.

As well as being a professional in her field, Tribble also had resources at her disposal that most indie creators cannot access. She had an editor and beta script readers helping her. In short, she had plenty of opportunities and guidance to stop and look back on what she had produced and make improvements. She did not and, what's more: she put on a show of doing so via asking for criticism but not taking it on board.

We know this because I tried to give her advice on several occasions, only to be shot down. For example, Tribble was very much aware of some of the underlying issues within the show (i.e. how bad it looked that Hover allowed Nothing to be assaulted by Quickmane in Episode 5 with zero reaction) because we brought it to her attention, she proceeded to not take our suggestions on how to improve things on board for one reason or another.

And I don't think I need to go into how it feels very backhanded that an able-bodied creator is producing a "pro-disability" show and yet refused to take on criticism by disabled viewers. (I would say that thinking so highly of oneself to the point where advice goes ignored even when asked for does not a good writer make.)

I also don't know if you're under the impression that we're tearing into some hobbyist's passion project but that's not what this is. My Pride was a professional production, made by a team and it had a budget of around 140-150k CAD, which was funded by Canadian taxpayers. We've had to repeatedly point this out because Tribble has failed to gone out of her way to make this clear. Presumably so people like you feel bad for her.

So, I'm sorry but it's perfectly fair game to criticise MP and how Tribble went about producing it. She had plenty of opportunities to improve what many deemed to be shortcomings. She did not. She thought she knew better, even better than those who have experienced the actual oppression she sought to depict in an edgy, disrespectful manner.

And that's why we feel she's bad writer. Her fans are free to disagree with us, but I've yet to come across any real argument outside of 'y'all r just mean!', even though we've been courteous enough to not get personal when criticizing her as a writer/director.

Our writing isn't perfect. We've always consistently made that clear. We have had several instances throughout the process of making this comic where readers have made good points that we have brought on to improve the writing. Hell, I've discovered things I didn't even know about my own conditions via some of the readers of this comic. The overreaching lesson is that you should listen to your readers, because they just want you to produce a better narrative. Unfortunately, I feel Tribble did not feel the same way about her audience, and I'm also getting the same vibes from you, anon. Purely by your notion that criticism of a show or not scolding our fans when they say they have a preference like the MP fans do = "shitting on MP". Which is fine but I'm going to have to say I disagree. It's not mean or problematic for me or any of my disabled readers to have strong opinions about a show that misappropriates our oppression.

Or that I think my writing is amazing when it's more that I'm improving what I personally feel needs to be improved. Such as how the disabled are always depicted in mainstream media. And I'll continue to do so. You can come at me with the reductive gatekeeping that is that I - as a disabled person - do not have the right to have an opinion on an able-bodied creator writing ableism badly and how it can be improved all you want, but I think that's ultimately more of a commentary on you than me. c: - RJ

[captainlunaxmen]

All For the Cameras

Chapter 11

Finnick Odair x fem!reader

Chapter 11 ladies and gentlemen!🥳

I'm sorry for keeping you waiting so much, but with my life right now, it's hard to find any good time to put my mind into writing.

Chapter summary: time to deal with the aftereffects of Capitol's imprisonment.

Chapter warning: mention of being raped, description of torture, panic attack, Finnick being a sweetie pie.

Tag list

@guacam011y @justtrying2getby @idontevenknow1359 @alexandra-001 @bambikitten @maggiecc @redh00dsbf @haneybunny @1-800-styles @sisiking99 @merromimo @yourdailymemedelivery @regsg18 @gordorio @bambikitten @gracieeleanorr @shev3nom @honethatty12 @savingprivatecass @erindiggory @martahabla @sterredem @aawdrea @wpdarlingpan @strawberry--fawn @barbarathewanderer @ih8books @a-mysterious-potato @mayonesavegana @celinaiscrying @katherinejess @meri-soni-meri-tamanna @abaker74 @syd649 @meikoo @secretsicanthideanymore @p1stachi @laylasshiftingtonight @yourmumstoy @s0urw00lf @kermits-bitch @littleshadow17

@piya-re @ivymyers @potao-o @wqstedyouths @kaceyh24 @miniatureblazellama @lillell4670 @11jaz @f1blogs @ooddiieesblog

I'm sorry if I can't tag everyone😔🥺

Masterlist

Finnick's Pov

Finnick is back at making knots, he need to keep his hands busy. Katniss and him are waiting for any news in his room.

"She's the reason we got ready on time." Katniss suddenly says.

"Uh?"

"Coin told me that Peeta confirmed her fears, but Y/n's message got her to be ready." She explains.

"Yeah? What did she say?" Finnick can't help but ask.

"Quick. Hide. Attack." She replies, "she had to choose her words carefully, but she managed."

"She's smart." Finnick wipes away a tear, "always been. I just hope they're okay."

"Me too." She whispers softly.

They stay in silence, waiting and waiting.

Finnick fears they're been sitting here for ages now. Thankfully, the door opens and Haymitch's head appears.

"They're back."

They on they feet in no time, running to the hospital side of the building.

As they enter the room they immediately hear Johanna screaming and snapping at the nurses and doctors.

"Johanna.." Kantiss gasps.

Her head is shaved and she looks like she's not been eating for weeks.

As Katniss sees and runs to Gale, Haymitch and Finnick follows her, Boggs being close.

"Where's Y/n?" Finnick can't help himself.

"She's resting." He answers.

"Why?!" Finnick's panicking hands holds the knot, "did something happen... is she okay?"

"It's not serious... but she was bleeding when we got to them." Boggs reassures him.

"What..?"

"Calm down." Haymitch puts a hand on his shoulder, "can we see her?"

"Of course, she's in the room next to Peeta's." Boggs makes way and they follow him.

They enter, quietly not to wake her up in case she's resting.

"Miss L/n?" Boggs calls.

"Please..." her broken voice almost brings tears in Finnick's eyes, "stop it..."

"It's alright, you're safe.." Boggs reassures her, he signals Finnick and Haymitch to stop where they are, "I promise, you are safe now. And... There's someone here for you."

"I'm... stop...pl.. please."

"What did they do to her?" Finnick broken voice comes out in a whisper, Haymitch hardly hears it.

"She's safe now. Let's focus on that, okay?" Haymitch puts a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Y/n... I'm colonel Boggs, district 13's head of security. You're in 13." Boggs tries again, "you are safe."

"It's not real, it's not real, it's not real..." she keeps repeating, using her hands as a shield to cover her face.

"I'm not sure, now's the best time. Whatever they did to her, I think it's-" Boggs starts to explain.

"Y/n..?" Finnick can't stop her name coming out of his mouth, he watches her stopping her movement. If before she was rocking back and forth covering her face, now she's as still as a rock. "Y/n... it's me."

The other two watch the scene carefully, silently.

Their eyes fixed on her next move. She slowly move her hands down, hesitantly. Her eyes carefully raise to look up at him, only to fill up with tears once they're set fully on him.

"No... don't... please." She cowers back, shaking her head.

"I'm here, my love." Finnick instinctively rushes to her, when she flinches he stops, raising his hands up, "I promise."

"Oh no..." she sobs, "they caught you too..."

"No... no, my love." He's fully crying now.

"It's all my fault, it's all my fault, it's... all my fault... it's all...." she keeps whispering.

"Love..." Finnick tries again, but she's almost deaf to his voice. He looks at Haymitch for support, but finds him completely powerless.

"Y/n... it's alright." Haymitch moves to come closer, but a loud noise from the room next to hers catches their attention.

"What's going on?" Haymitch asks, Boggs immediately rushes out, "I'll be right back."

Finnick goes back at looking at Y/n, her small figure breaks his heart into millions of pieces. He searches into her for a glimpse of the fighter he knows, he notices it... he notices her hand blindly moving on the mattress towards him, he doesn't think she's completely aware of it.

He takes a deep breath and reaches out to touch her hand. Once their hands touch she retreats her hand and her eyes shoot back to him in less than a second. They stare into each other's eyes, Finnick stays as still as he can, afraid that any movement could make her run or disappear. After a long, never ending moment she reaches again for his hand.

"Is that... are you..." she takes shaky breaths looking at any part of his face, "you're real..?"

"I am..." he nods, trying again to hold her hand, she lets him, "I'm real, I'm here... and we're in district 13."

"13..?" She gaps, "really?"

"Really, my love." He nods, bringing her hand to his lips to kiss the back of it, "we're really here."

"Are..." she tries to fight her broken voice, "are you sure?"

"Very." He nods again, "you're not in the Capitol anymore. You're with me."

"I'm sorry... I'm afraid I'll ask you that too many times."

"You can ask me as much as you need to," Finnick tells her softly, "and I'll answer each time."

She starts to sob, and brings a hand to cover her mouth, Finnick can see her relieved smile and can finally feel some calmness after so long.

"Oh my god..." she lets out an incredulous laugh, but it ends quickly when they hear a knock on the door.

"Can we come in?"

"It's Haymitch." Finnick tells her.

"Haymitch's here?"

"Yes, we're all here, I promise. Katniss, Beetee, Plutarch. Safe." Finnick explains, "can he come in? Is that okay?"

When she nods Finnick calls for Haymitch to enter.

"Hey, princess." Haymitch greets as he enters the room, "how do you feel?"

"I... I think I'm... not in danger..." she answers on a soft voice.

"Well, we take what we can get." Haymitch smiles.

"What... happened?" She asks motioning to the room.

"I..." Haymitch's hesitant, he looks at Finnick for support, but Y/n's voice regain his attention.

"I can take it, Haymitch." She smiles, tiredly.

Finnick too smiles, happy to see her regaining her fight.

"Peeta attacked Katniss."

"What?" Finnick asks, alarmed and confused.

"We don't know why..." Haymitch shakes his head, "it doesn't make sense."

"Where is he now?" She asks, pulling her hand back to herself.

"Sedated."

Y/n nods, understanding. When she starts fidgeting again, Finnick gently takes her hands.

"It's okay." He whispers softly.

"I can see the gears in your head working, L/n, what is it?" Haymitch asks.

"Uh...it does make sense." She simply says, "it makes so much sense."

"What do you mean?"

"I..."

A knock interrupts her, and Plutarch's head comes into view.

"May I?" He asks, and opens the door once he got a nod, "how are you feeling?"

"Can I not get asked that question for the next... 10 years?" She weakly chuckle and Finnick squeeze her hands.

"Of course." Plutarch smiles reassuringly, "may I introduce you to someone?"

"I... guess."

"Do you think this is the right time?" Finnick asks, getting protective.

"We're heading towards a war, mr Odair, we can't afford such thing as right time." He states before opening the door again, letting President Coin in.

Y/n sits up straight, getting a pang of pain, Finnick's immediately checking on her, but gets dismissed almost immediately.

"Easy, miss L/n. I'm president Coin, I came here to thank you personally." President Coin smiles. "If it weren't for your hidden messages, we would've never been ready on time for the attack. You helped save lots of lives."

"I... it was really the least I could do, ma'am." Y/n casts her eyes down, at her hands in Finnick's.

"You risked your life. Without knowing for sure if we even could get those messages, we owe you." President Coin continues, "Thank you."

Y/n and Coin look at each other, Y/n still looks like she thinks herself not deserving a thank you.

"You're welcome." She nods, grateful.

"Whatever you need, I'd be honoured to be of assistance." The president adds.

"Thank you... especially for rescuing us."

"Sorry, to interrupt this moment, but we were hoping you could give us some more information." Plutarch chimes in.

"She just got here, coul-" Finnick starts, but her hand squeezing his stops him.

"It's okay." She whispers to him, then referring to everyone, "I might have some... clarification on what's going on with Peeta..."

They all listen carefully at what Y/n is explaining.

Finnick notices her wincing a little when she talks about Peeta's treatment. He wants to ask more, but he decides to give her more time.

He owes her.

Y/n's Pov

The first hours here in 13 have been... surreal, to say the least.

I still find it hard to believe this, I'm so afraid everything will turn out to be just another illusion created by the Capitol to torture me. Sometimes I can't even look at Finnick... touching his hands is a comfort... most of the time, but seeing him is simply too difficult now. He keeps talking to me, to keep me grounded, I think, keeping the nightmares away at least when I'm awake. I try to keep a brave face, though I fear he sees right through it sometimes.

"You don't have to, if you don't feel good." He tells me as we follow Boggs to Katniss' hospiral room.

"It's okay. I promise." I say, looking straight ahead.

"You don't have to be so brave all the time." He grabs my hand, to reassure me. I squeeze it back and take mine back almost immediately.

"Here." Boggs opens a door for us.

"Thank you." I say entering and as soon as I see Katniss I rush to her.

I'm so glad to see Prim there too. Knowing her mother and sister are safe are a relief.

I see her trying to speak, but Prim stops her.

"It's okay... I-I'm sorry." I tell her sitting next to her, seeing her confused expression I add, "I.."

"She thinks it's her fault." Finnick explains, "one of the many gifts from the Capitol."

I unconsciously flinch at that, the guilt eating me every moment of the day, I try to rationalise it, think that it can't be all my fault... but I can't stop it.

Katniss puts her hand on mine, to comfort me, so I look at her with a sad smile.

"Good, you're already here." Plutarch walks in, followed by Beetee and Gale too, "we can start with the explanations."

"Yes, uh... what they did to Peeta is called, they call it, hijacking." I start, fidgeting with my hands once again, "I think they started doing... it to him as soon as they got us... uh...it's about using fear to change the person's perception."

"They enhance it with tracker jacker venom." Beetee adds. "You were stung your first games, remember?"

Katniss blink once, which makes me assume is yes.

"Exactly... uh..." I take a deep breath, "the venom sort of helps the subject dissociate... then they use shocks and beating to torture them... then all that fear and anger is reassociate with something else, person, memory... place..." I try to not let my broken voice show.

"They can change his memories of Katniss?" Prim asks me.

"Yes, if she was once his friend, now he's been tortured to see her as the enemy." I say.

"But why?" Gale asks, I look at him, he looks like he doesn't believe any of what I said, or he's just really confused.

"They turned him into a weapon, Katniss." Haymitch says, "to kill you."

"That's too easy, Haymitch..." I scoff out a laugh, "nothing is easy at the Capitol."

I notice Gale rolling his eyes, but saying nothing. I can sense he doesn't trust me.

"But you can reverse it." Prim guesses.

"The fear is the most difficult thing to overcome. We're hardwired to remember fear best." Beetee explain and I nod, sadly.

"It's new terrain," Plutarch chimes in, "but we've put together a team. I'm optimistic."

"Yeah... optimism won't do it this time." I scoff again.

"If any of this is true." Gale mutters and my head snaps to his direction.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Finnick asks, annoyed.

"What everyone here thinks." Gale answers, just as annoyed.

"Which is, mr Hawthorne?" I ask, as cold as I've ever been.

"As if you can't figure it out." He replies, jaw clenching with annoyance.

"Enlighten me." I challenge, Gale looks around and sighs deeply.

Everyone is either confused or frustrated by Gale's comment. Finnick and Haymitch particularly mad.

"You're Capitol's Princess. That says it all." He finally speaks again.

"Care to elaborate?" Haymitch asks, I don't think I've ever seen him this mad.

"What guarantees she's telling the truth? Or that she's not just a spy?" Gale asks.

"You think Peeta's actually mad at Katniss?" Prim's soft voice asks.

"You saw what he said on TV." Is Gale's answer which makes me actually laugh. The others looks at me confused while Gale's still angry.

"What?" I ask, "wasn't that a joke? Oh sorry."

"Do you think we're joking here?" Gale snaps again.

"Oh fuck off, will you?" I almost shout, standing up, "let me fucking guess, you're one of the people who believed Katniss and Peeta were actually in love in their first games? Despite knowing her, nonetheless." I ask and when he says nothing I go on, "you think yourself so smart, so above the 'lies' the Capitol tells everyone, but you're not. You're really not. They fooled you." I laugh again, frustration finally getting out.

He stays silent, answering my question.

"I think you should go, mr Hawthorne." Plutarch says.

"No, no, let him stay, let him stay." I rush out, "do you want to know what was actually happening?" He says nothing, "Hell. Hell was happening."

"Sure.." he says unconvinced.

"Yeah... of course you believe all the bullshit about the Princess, don't you?" I say, a bit calmer, shaking my head disappointed. "Did you know I had a brother?" I notice with the corner of my eyes Finnick lowering his head, he's one of the few who knows. "Did you?" I stress.

"No." Gale firmly says.

"That's because he was killed, right in front of me, because I dared to say no. Then Snow threatened to kill everyone else I care about if I refused again, and by that time I befriended almost all the mentors and victors. He got leverage. But that's still nothing, you all lost people because of the Capitol, nothing special right?" I see him swallowing nervously, "I bet you think the Victors' lives are a piece of cake. No. Once you win, you're a prisoner. If the Capitol find you attractive enough, you're sold." I look at Finnick, he nods reassuringly, "you either get sold or you're family pays. And the downside of being Capitol's sweet princess is people finding you just as attractive. So I was sold too. That's how I met Cal. His father paid for me, and I couldn't say no. I couldn't say no to anything he wanted to do. Anything." My voice starts to break. "He lived this as a love story, so engraved in his delusion that he felt this as a personal betrayal. He was the one torturing me every time."

"Y/n..." Finnick calls me softly, but I shake my head.

"Do you want to know what Peeta has been through there?" I look at Gale with tears in my eyes, " because I know... I was there, at every session, each noise, each silence, each... scream... I heard it all, not even my own pain could suppress it."

"I.." Gale starts, but I'm not having it.

"You what? You're sorry? You're sorry that they made me live fake memories? That they made me live memories where... where... "I blow out some air, tears making it hard to breath, Finnick comes beside me to comfort me, but I can't be near him, not right now, right now everything I've kept to myselfis coming out "they made me live a memory where all the people I've ever cared about blamed me, for all of this. Everything is my fault, I know, but hearing them all screaming at me...no. Then they made me believe I was being... I was... shit!" I scream, taking a deep breath, "they made me believe he was raping me... when actually it was Cal all the time... and of course he didn't stop there, I mean he didn't need to wait for the sessions.. when he was in the mood I was in a cell, where he could always find me... the day you arrived he... was just in time to... mark me" I lift my shirt to show Cal's name on my lower stomach, engraved,I take another deep and shaky breath as I lower the shirt back down, "so you see... the Capitol hurts your mind, it doesn't stop at your body. Too. Fucking. Easy." Venom clear in my voice, I turn to look at Haymitch wiping away my tears, his eyes are wet too, my voice gets softer, "they.. uh... they didn't turn him into a weapon to kill her, at least that's not their main reason... they want to destabilise her. Now if you'll excuse me."

I walk out.

I walk faster to the hospital room they assigned me, but I can't find it, I haven't got through chance to get my head around the labyrinth this place is. My breath is getting heavy and I need to be alone, but I don't know where to go.

"Miss L/n!" Someone calls, I turn around seeing Boggs jogging to get to me.

"I'm sorry... I... I just needed a moment." I tell him breathlessly.

"It's okay, come." He leads me to my room and sits me on the bed. "Match my breathing, okay?"

I nod and try to follow his breathing. In, hold it, and out. He uses his hand to emphasise the breathing, and to give me something to look at and focus on. Once I can breath normally again I look at him.

"Thank you."

"You might not agree, but we're the one who should thank you." He says and I shake my head, "I'm not one to soften things up, I'm not just being nice to you. I meant what I said."

"I... it's just..."

"The Capitol fucks you up?" He asks.

"Yes..." I lower my eyes, "I'm sorry."

"I can promise you, there's no one here you have to apologise to." He assures me.

"I just didn't mean to snap like that and throw everything that happened out like that."

"It would've been worse if you didn't." He explains, "bottling all that inside, won't do you any good. So anytime you feel like snapping, do it. Call me if you need to."

"Thanks."

"I stopped Odair from coming himself, I had a feeling he wouldn't do you any good at the moment." He tells me.

"Yeah, no... you were right..."I mutter, softly, I want to say more but I just take a breath.

"Okay, here's what we can do. You can tell me what you're clearly holding back, and I can just listen without saying anything. Or we can just breath." He suggests.

I look at him once more, and seeing his genuine offer to help I nod my head and after a long deep breath I start to explain.

"They use electricity and shocks to make you docile... numb. Then they project all around you images of people, places, then a voice narrate what they want you to live. It's like they put you to sleep and makes you dream of whatever they want... only the pain is real and you can't escape it by waking up." I sigh, "they used Finnick most of the time... having him blaming me, hurting me. I... I can't even look at him..."

"But you do know that's not real." He states.

"Yeah, I've lived in the Capitol all my life... I know their ways, long before they caught me I was preparing myself." I say, going back at fidgeting, "but I guess I was underestimating it."

"I don't think you did." Boggs tells me, "You know that what they showed you is not real. You're already halfway out of this."

"I don't know..." I shake my head.

"Plutarch and Haymitch told us a lot about you." He sits in front of me, "said your brain was one of a kind. Your strategies, ideas and suggestions are always on point."

"I think they were exaggerating..."

"I've know those two for merely weeks and the one thing I gathered is they don't praise just anyone. They meant what they said about you." He firmly explains, I sigh, looking away from him, "I understand you still have the lingering guilt in your head, you try to rationalise it, but you can't shake it off. But that doesn't make it real, okay?" I nod, "first step: say it out loud."

"I don't think I'm ready for it yet." I sadly smile.

"It's okay." He nods, not showing any disappointment, "also.. what you said to Gale... I was waiting for someone to put him in his place."

I laugh and he does too.

"Glad I could've been of assistance." I chuckle.

"Want me to call Odair or Haymitch?" He asks.

"I... no, thank you, but I need to be alone... for a bit more.." I answer.

"It's alright." He stands and walk to the door, "if you need anything, don't hesitate."

"Thank you." I nod. He does too and exits the room.

I stand up and walk to the glass cupboard close to the bed. I look at my fade reflection and lift my shirt up, looking properly for the first time at Cal's work on me. They gave me stitches, it will probably leave a scar. I sigh, lowering my shirt once again and I go to lay on the bed again.

Flashes of what happened at the Capitol make their way into my brain, I close my eyes and cover my ears to prevent them from getting out. I start to have troubles breathing, I sit up straight, a hand on my chest to control my heartbeat. Tears forming in my eyes. I try to remind myself that I'm not there anymore, I'm not a prisoner anymore.

"It's not real, it's not real, it's not real." I keeo whispering to myself.

Dread fills my veins when I hear a knock on the door.

"Y/n?" Finnick careful voice reaches my ears, "are you okay? I won't come in, just... say something."

I try to take a very deep breath and walk to the door, not opening it, but I hold my hand to touch it.

"I'm okay." I weakly say.

"Would it be okay if I stayed out here?" He gently asks.

"You... you don't have to." I tell him, "I' sure you have things to do."

"None more important than you." He states, "I'll just sit here, if you need something, knock." He lets out a soft chuckle.

"Finnick..." I start.

"You know I'm stubborn. There's no use in arguing."

I hear him sitting down.

"I'm okay, Finnick." I try one more time.

"I know." He replies, "this is just a great spot to sit and rest actually."

He makes me chuckle a little and I decide to sit down against the door too, we would be back to back if it weren't for the door between us.

"It is quite comfortable, I have to agree." I say.

"See? Best spot in the whole district." He laughs.

We sit in silence, a comfortable silence.

Every now and then I'm sure I heard Haymitch's voice trying to get him to go to lay down on a proper bed and Finnick would always answer that he's more than comfortable like this.

He spent all night out of my room, checking on me every now and then.

Tomorrow I'll get checked again, any sort of injuries they haven't detected, or help me get my mind to work better again.

I need to fix my mind, I want to stop these thoughts, I want to... I need to.

[thequietkid-moonie]

Sayori, Monika, Tamaki Suoh, Sunny, Hero, Shouko Nishimiya, how do react when the reader says theys are the love of your life?

Reader calls them the love of their life

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Sayori, Monika, Tamaki, Sunny, Hero, Shouko ]

[ Doki Doki Literature Club ] [ Ouran High School Host Club ] [ Omori ] [ A silent voice ]

Any time i fall in love with a new character i call them the love of my life, i had say it so many times that that if i had a coin for every time I've said it right now i'd be rich

Sayori

It doesn't take long for Sayori to take a liking on people and become pretty clingy and affectionate, but to fully trust them as to show her real self it actually tooks a long time, so even when she openly shows her love sometimes is more motivated for the anxiety

However, whenever you show her affection and love is something special for her, even the small gestures is a little reminder that you actually care and appreciate her, specially if is after she finally open up to you more with her problems

Even when she is clingy Sayori can be pretty shy, specially to express her love directly with words, so it take a lot from her to say that she loves you even when she is completely sure of her feelings, and if you say it to her she gets wrapped in a overwhelming feel of love

When you tell her that she is the love of your life Sayori stops whatever she is doing for the shock but even so she isn't able to see you at the face, she tries to but is scare to see in your face a mocking expression, somehow she manage to slowly see a glimse of you, it doesn't matter if you seem shy or confident, even a small and sweet smile is enough for her to win the courage she needs to fully see you in the face, at least for a moment

She tries really hard to say something, or even do something but in her mind are racing a lot of different thoughts, between the anxiety and the overwhelming feeling of love, at the end she will just throw herself into your arms before start crying, she even clings to you as if his life depends on it

The thing is that Sayori tend to doubt herself and be overwhelmed for the fear, she even is a pleseant person but you telling her that she is the love of your life gives her a big sense of security as well a feeling of love, that is why she started crying but she will apologize for it later

Sayori grows a little more clingy and affectionate afterwards since that beautiful feeling still wander her chest and she wants to make you feel that way too, she may even try to write you something about it (but since she normally just write about the feelings she can't speak of it will be a little difficult for her)

If you do it as a way to confess your feelings for her her reaction won't be too different, it would be pretty overwhelming for her and she will end up crying in your arms, but in this case she will be more hesitant even asking you if you actually mean what you had say

Monika

Even when Monika seems and act confidence deep down she is a little insecure and perfeccionist, so even when she doesn't have much troubles with expressing her love she wonder if she is "doing it right"

Although she isn't too estrict when it comes to you (or at least tries no to), she just bask in whatever show of affection and love you give to her, small or big gestures she apreciate them nonetheless, also there are moments where she put others before her a little so your affection comfort her

Love is a really beautiful and special word for Monika, she kinda has a big expective of what is love and she is willing to work in making that ilusion come true, mainly for her perfeccionism, but she tries to don't let that side of her affect you or your relasionship. Whenever you express you love for her it fills her with excitment

Even when Monika seems more serious and mature she loves romantic stuff, and even when she finds cheesy stuff a little overstated she still like it, so when you call her the love of your life her heart skip a beat, she looks at you wondering if this isn't just a dream while slowly gets flustered and flattered

Monika knows she loves you with all her being and she can even dare to say that you are all she wanted, but even she didn't thought that you would think so dearly of her, but those simple words show her that you love her a lot too (maybe even with the same intensity), and since she isn't exactly shy she won't have much troubles to say something so cute and special back, although she isn't satisfied with her own answer so she will be thinking for a while in a way to show how much she loves you too

And for a long time the only memory of you saying those words make her feel like in heaven for how much you love her, always bringing a smile and a tiny blush to her cheeks, also it may or may not lead her to be more confidence and start to be more affectionate and teasing

Although if you had say it to confess your feelings her reaction won't be as calm as if you two were already in a relationship, Monika is sure that she loves you and she had tried to read you to try to find out if you feel the same, but you coming and saying such cheesy stuff out of the blue really had taked her by surprise (specially if you aren't usually open or affectionate)

Tamaki Suoh

Tamaki isn't shy at all, he is always so open with his love and isn't afraid to tell anyone how much he loves you (well, not until he finally realice his feelings for you), he could be pretty dramatic with his affection but he always do it from the bottom of his heart

Also, even when he is open with his love whenever you are affectionate towards him it makes him feel all flustered and fuzzy, even the small gestures are special to him and bring happines to his day, to all his life (or that is what he always says)

Tamaki never has problem to directly say that he loves you, although he prefers to express it in other ways, with a lot of affection, besides he doesn't want to admit it but he is pretty shy when it comes to say it (specially when he had just realice his feelings for you). If and when you say it to him he gets a little more serious but is still fuzzy and can't stop giggling

Although, saying that he is the love of your life is different, is more direct but still express a lot of love, also an expression like that is more likely to heard it from him and is probably that he had even already thought of it, but hearing it from you is surprising

It totally surprise him and there are chances for him to ask you to repeat yourself in case he missheard you, but that doesn't mean he doesn't like it in fact he loves that you love him and appreciate him so much to even consider him the love of your life, and not even in a egoist way, is just that before founding the club he is used to be alone and with all his problems with his family he wasn't too apreciate either so knowing that you love him as much as he loves you it melt his heart

His reaction could be either really dramatic, exploding with excitment and love but saying that that that title suits you better because you are the the love of his life, or more serious but still with a sweet smile in his face hugging you and giving you sweet kisses, even expressing that he loves you a lot too

Although if you do it to confess he won't be able to react in a calm manner, he is shocked but slowly get incredibly flustered, he barely will be able to answer you properly

Sunny

Sunny doesn't really think much of himself but he doesn't have much troubles with it neither, just when he compare himself to others, still that doesn't influence in his love for you

Also, he doesn't show his love by words he is more of actions (like getting more clingy to you), although whenever you show affection to him, either by words or actions, it flustered him and he even gets a little shy, even when you two are already dating it still flustered him

Love is a word with a lot of weight and even when Sunny is sure that he is in love with you he has a lot of troubles to say it and anytime he heards you say it to him he feels like the rest of the world disappears, flattered for how even just a simple word hold and inmense feeling

But saying that he is the love of your life is an expression with even more intensity, the world is big and your life haven't even reached the half and still you call him the love of your life, the inmense love he is feeling practically shoot him down, his heart is racing, his cheeks are burning and his mind is a complete mess

Don't expect a proper answer because Sunny won't be able to say it back, heck he isn't able to even formulate a response, even if he tries to he can't, is probably that he end up hidding, either hide his face in with his hands or in your arms. Also, he will be like this for a while and even when he manage to calm down a little the blush of his cheeks aren't going to go away for a long time, as well the fuzzy feeling that fill his chest (it may even stay like that for some days)

Also you could notice that Sunny grows a little more clingy and affectionate but shy too after what you had say, is just that he feels so loved and appreciate that he can't describe it, he wants to make you feel so loved too but he still has troubles to put it in words

Although, if you had say it in a way to confess your feelings is even more shocking for him because it would be the first time you express so much directly to him (even if you are already affectionate)

Hero

Hero isn't really shy nor insecure so he doesn't has much troubles to express his love for you, still he isn't going everywhere screaming his love, he doesn't see a point on doing it, you knowing that he loves you is enough for him

He doesn't have any problem with showing his love by words and actions, he isn't shy, although when you show your love for him it flustered him a a little (it depends in what you do too)

He has no problem with saying that he loves you directly, but he prefers to not to rush himself, if he is going to say it he wants to be 100% sure he is in love with you, as well whenever you directly express that you love him he tries to say it back or correspond it (still a little flustered)

Even so the moment that you tell him that he is the love of your life he is truly surprised, say that you love him is something but calling him the love of your life is even deeper, with even more weight, just by hearing you is pretty surprised and immediatly look at you at the face, like trying to comfirm that you had say what he had hear

It take him a moment to fully process what you had said but when he does he gets all flustered and flattered, his cheeks quickly get covered by the blush and a big smile, he may not be able to say the same for how flustered he is but he tries to say something equivalent, and even if he doesn't manage to say something he will make sure to do something that will express how much he loves you

He will be blushy and with a fuzzy feeling in his chest for a while, as well and unable to stop smiling, your words defenitively make his day way better and he won't be able to stop thinking on it for the rest of the day, and even so he still remember it sometimes the next days and always make him feel all flustered again

However, if you had done it to confess your feelings for him he will be even more shocked, because even if you were already affectionate saying that he is the love of your life is still saying much, in that case he will be even more flustered

Shouko Nishimiya

Shouko is really shy and even insecure, so she has a lot of troubles to express her love for you, when she does it she mainly does it with small and discreet gestures, but little by little she start to win more confidence and tries to be more open with her affection

Also, it goes the same when it comes to accept your affectionate, she is shy and that bring her some troubles to accept your gestures of love, specially when she feels like a bother

Shouko express her love by discreet ways because she can't show it directly, her shyness and anxiety stop her from doing it, as well when you directly say that you love her she gets really flustered and doesn't know how to respond nor even what to do

The moment you tell her that she is the love of your life she is completely in shock, this is saying even more than when you express that you love her, and that already is really significant, but this holds even more importance and love, she immediatly looks at you surprise and still fearing that you are just trying to mess with her, but once she understand that you actually mean it Shouko even start crying, she is just feeling so much that is overwhelming, but is for sure that it isn't for sadness (she will apologize later for doing it though)

Shouko feels like her only existance is a bother for others but you calling her the love of your life is like saying to her that you are happy that she exist and she doesn't know how to react to that, but is sure that she feels really happy and loved

She will never forget what you had say to her, even when she fears that you didn't mean it or even scold herself for be so excited for it she can't help but hold the memory close to her heart and she remember it anytime she feels bad about herself. Also, just as she feels really loved just by you saying it she wants to do something in return, she actually feels like she has to, that is only fair, so she will try to come up with a plan to thank you for making her so happy

However if you had say it in a way to confess your feelings for her Shouko will be even more shocked and hesitant to accept that what you had say is for real, she feels anxious and fear that this is too good to be real, but at the end she will at least accept it and when she does it she will start crying too

[cha-melodius]

Top Five Favorite Things To Write

I'm going to slowly try to catch up on tag games and asks from the last... however long ago lol, now that I'm back from a work/vacation trip. I was tagged by @justabigoldnerd and @pippinoftheshire sometime last week I think, the game is self-explanatory. I did have to think about this one, and I chose to go more on the specific side of things for most of these.

Feelings realizations/love confessions under dire circumstances. I feel like these are two sides of the same coin. Dire peril making someone realize how much they care about someone is my shit, and I love a good anguished love confession. Even better, make it while someone is dying. 😂

Antagonistic flirty banter. I could just put 'banter' here, because I do love to write it in all it's forms, but I especially love the flirty antagonism that comes when two people are clearly attracted to each other but desperately fighting it.

Action sequences (most of the time). This is one I think I'm good at writing, and I do enjoy writing them the majority of the time. Sometimes I get one where I have to just get through it. The action sequences in Body and Soul(mate) were supremely fun to write.

Mutual pining/'not actually unrequited love'. I love when they're both quietly pining but they (or circumstances) won't let themselves have what they both so desperately want.

Tender wound care. God, the 'gently taking care of the other's wound' is my crack. The vulnerability. The suppressed feelings fighting their way to the surface. The putting of hands on bare skin. Caretaking in general I love, but especially this sub-category.

[honorable mention bc I started looking through my fics and couldn't not include this one] Food as a metaphor for love. There's something about one character cooking for the other that is just the absolute best. Especially (almost exclusively, tbh), before they get together, and all those bottled up feelings have to come out somehow.

Tagging some folks under the cut, but also leaving an open tag if you see this and want to play!

@kiwiana-writes, @orchidscript, @loki-is-my-kink-awakening @cricketnationrise, @leaves-of-laurelin

@rmd-writes, @welcometololaland, @three-drink-amy, @14carrotghoul, @firenati0n

@eusuntgratie, @sparklepocalypse, @blueeyedgrlwrites, @getmehighonmagic, @porcelainmortal

@iboatedhere, @indestructibleheart, @myheartalivewrites. @ninzied, @wordsofhoneydew

@onthewaytosomewhere, @suseagull04, @faketrex, @lilythesilly, @thesleepyskipper

@mirilyawrites, @bitbybitwrites, @anincompletelist, @read-and-write-, @happiness-of-the-pursuit

[technically-a-kiwi]

Universally pathetic part 2 (🌌true cosmic AU🌌)

Previous part

The chef's quest was almost over

After traveling throughout 100 234 998 universes, he was more than sure Maurice is the being who's always the same in every universe, observing oh so many versions of his brother, the chef didn't bother to read into all of his brother's versions heart, it didn't make much sense he thought... But at least the host couldn't say anything like "yeah but maybe you missed something by simply reading his mind woag " or something to that extent... It was a slower but safer move.

Some of them had a job, some lived alone, some were anthropomorphic fishes...

So far, each and every single Maurice met the chef's expectations, being a pathetic jerk. The chef even made a mental checklist, with the fundamental traits he saw in his brother:

always unsatisfied with what he has

always rude towards others

huge gamble addict

Maurice will NEVER consider becoming a better person

And there it was, the 100 234 999th universe, can’t wait to put the host in his place thought the chef.

Finally reaching the earth, looking for his last task...

"There !" The chef exclaims, spotting the location of his brother's house.

"Hum, looks like this appearance is-a one of the most common of them all... That's-a nice I guess..." He says as he inspects his brother while he's asleep.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Maurice's alarm went off, waking him up "huuuh... God... Damn it..." He punchs his alarm, shutting it down.

" Hum-um, alarm goes off at-a 5:10, punching it to shut it-a down, so far that's exactly how every other one behaved"

Maurice gets up, dresses up and goes straight to work...

" So far so good, not-a taking a breakfast and forgetting-a to lock the door, exactly as intended " says the chef, writing that down.

As he walked, Maurice sunk into his thoughts... " Stupid schedule... Stupid job... Stupid legs that can't take me further than a meter before hurting... "

Ah-AH ! About time he showed this side of himself, the never grateful grumpy man! The chef's expression shifted into a mischievous grin... The pieces were coming together, he just knew he's right, he just knows his brother universal nature.

The day continued, Maurice finally reached the trash factory, the chef following him close behind.

And so Maurice started his work, sorting recyclable material from garbage bags. " How can people be so dumb... Even if you write down on the packaging it's recyclable they'll still throw it in the garbage... It's as if everyone's blind..." He thought as he sighs out of boredom.

"Hum... Can't really count-a that as-a rude..." Though the chef

One of his co-workers addresses him " Hey Mauricino ! You got some coins by any chance? I need to buy my lunch and lost my wallet!"

" Do I look like an ATM machine to you ?" He says in a frown

" huh..."

" Leave me alone, there are better things to spend my money on, and you're not one of them" he turns back into his work

His co-worker goes away "wow... Rude..." He says flabbergasted

The chef is delighted " Rude towards others, I knew it ! Get-a ready to taste defeat-a Noise" another trait checked on the list. The chef shines bright colors as he imagines the host face when he'll shred his point into pieces.

The day went on... Untill 10pm Maurice was at work... Finally it's over, he gets to the exit and takes his check. 50 bucks... Truly a pathetic salary he thought, but that's the best he could find close to his home that hires people with no diploma...

Maurice went on his way home, the chef still following him close behind.

Suddenly, he passes by a small casino, he hesitates for some time, he just wants to go home... But... Maybe this time... He'll hit the Jackpot... He finally succumbs to the temptation. To the chef's delight, another thing off the checklist! Victory has never been so close!

GATCHING GATCHING GATCHING

nothing...

GATCHING GATCHING GATCHING

nothing...

GATCHING GATCHING GATCHING

10 dollars

GATCHING GATCHING GATCHING

nothing...

GATCHING GATCHING GATCHING

nothing...

GATCHING GATCHING GATCHING

still nothing...

Maurice wasted all his paycheck... Again...

After some time, Maurice came back home.

It was past midnight, he ate a plate of undercooked spaghetti and went to bed.

" sucks at cooking and-a goes to bed without-a brushing his teeth... And... Oh... OH MIO DIO THAT'S IT !" The chef exclaims as he realizes his quest is finally done, he busts out in colors and stars in joy ! Warping space time around him as he celebrates his victory!

The distortion was strong enough to tangle his presence with reality, making him visible to the mortal eye and making his voice audible.

His celebration suddenly woke Maurice up, screaming in shock as he looks at what he thinks is a ghost

" WHAT THE- WHO ARE YOU, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM ?!"

The chef stops his celebration, his colors going dull, he didn't notice he was visible, he slowly turns, harboring a shocked face

"huuuuuuh..."

Maurice is completely paralyzed, this... Being... Didn't look real at all... A bright colored humanoid creature ? What was in his meal, gasoline?

The chef looked stunned for a second... But, oh yes, he will rub his victory all over this pathetic jerk's face, he's expression shifts into a wicked smile

" Well, if you want-a to know, I am Peppino Spaghetti. Cosmic chef and ALSO THE GUY WHO JUST-A PROVED YOUR-A THROUGHOUT EVERY POSSIBILITIES IN EXISTENCE NOTHING-A MORE THAN A PATHETIC LITTLE SHIT !" He exclaims as he smiles mischievously at Maurice's face

" wait... Peppino... Spaghetti?" Maurice says while pondering... " Oooooh no, are you one of my weird ancestors cursing me because I didn't want to be a pizza chef ?!" Says Maurice, his shock turning into anger

The chef looks weirded out " What ? No... I'm-a not your ancestor, and I'm-a nothing like a ghost, I'm a cosmic chef ! A cosmic entity !"

" a cosmic what ?" He responds, looking somewhat confused " and what was that about me being a little shit ?!" He says very angered

" Ah, glad-a you mention it ! To make it simple, I watched your behavior and-a how you interact with the world, and turns out you behaved EXACTLY as I imagined! You are ungrateful, unkind, desperate, self destructive and MOST IMPORTANTLY you NEVER question yourself OR try to be better! "

" ... " Maurice looks shocked... He's trying to find a response, but the words can't escape his mouth

The chef feels his brother's emotions... A strong mix of anger and misery, he just wants to insult him with every curse words there is, and yet sadness prevents it from any to get away

" Huh... Sorry amico, I didn't-a mean to make-a you cry, but that's-a just the truth, I'm describing what I-a saw today!" Says the chef, wondering if he didn't went a little to hard on him...

" ... I... *Sigh* okay..." Maurice just lies down in his bed again, just hoping this weird cosmic thing leaves...

The chef looks completely weirded out... He expected a stronger reaction from his brother... It was... New...

This new behavior intrigued him more than anything... Maurice holding some kind of remorse? He's got to know more !

Something triggering the cosmic chef's curiosity?! How could that be ? Nonetheless he's willing to see the end of this story and understand what makes this universe's Maurice so special, until then...

===TO BE CONTINUED==>

[mdhwrites]

how do you feel about disability rep in the owl house? Anyway it could've been done better? Cause as someone who is neurodivergent (autism) I felt like Luz's arc had unfortunate implications ('shes literally neurodivergent and a Minor' type vibes and mixed in with the whole fantasy vs reality themes and it came off as telling neurodivergent people to reject reality or like we wouldn't be hindered in the slightest by our disabilities in xyz worlds- which feels gross) but I could be reading into this too much. I also don't like how Hunter lost his 'disability' yeah you can compare it to getting a pacemaker or a mobility aid with his problem not being fixed but made better but that 'pacemaker' came at the cost of his best friend and his whole possession situation felt gratuitous to me. I'm really interested in seeing how Hunter could've been done better if you have any ideas

So I am going to try to be as calm and kind on this subject as I can. I feel like I've let a lot of heat come into my blogs lately that I try not to because I've been in distress. I am actually, legally disabled after all. It is the vast majority of my income, not helped by how randomly my brain will just break and I will have no way to get it to work again. I'm on the brink of another who knows how long run of my brain no longer functioning and am clawing to try and keep it together so I can do SOMETHING besides just ramble in these blogs. So I can keep writing or streaming rather than vanish. So this topic is important to me to put it extremely mildly.

To talk about this with The Owl House we kind of have to talk about each angle it takes on this subject one at a time. Eda and Hunter are two sides of the coin for this representation after all. I know you bring up Luz and yes, nuerodivergence can be disabling but if we want to talk about disability, I don't think Luz is actually a part of the conversation. If she is, it's for the theoretical representation of depression in S3 when she is at her worst as a character. People like to claim trauma and depression for why it's okay that she's constantly lying, or why she tries to abandon an entire world despite admitting it's her fault it's in trouble. She is her absolute worse self in that time and... If that is the rep we get for mental illness, I'll wait another five years. I don't want someone who is entirely apathetic to others and makes excuses for their actions to be the one who represents me, not when I hear that shit from assholes on the news too much already.

We'll start positive and head down from there. Eda actually starts out great. With regular medication and self care, she is able to live a fairly normal life. I have admittedly criticized in the past that there is no cure for the curse, that Eda is a slowly ticking time bomb who only through death will not end up harming all of those around her eventually, but I actually want to rescind that. As a dramatization of the anxiety that especially mental disability brings about of that day when everything breaks, even if it never comes, it works. It's within the confines of the fantasy genre and isn't demonized but sympathized that she has to work so hard to hold this back. But she can and she stands strong despite it, stronger than most in her situation in a way that is inspirational.

Then we get our first slip up with her at the end of S1. In order to find reprieve, to come back from the edge... She shares her disability. Her peace of mind, her ability to be a human being, comes at the cost of another person. I say slip up though because one could argue it's dramatization of the communal help that many disabled people need. I worked as a Home Care Aid at one point for someone in a wheelchair. My own family helps me because I am a complete mess of a person. I do my best to be able to function entirely on my own but when you are literally incapable of being a functional human being... Yeah, help is good. Do I like how high of a cost it comes for Lilith? Not really, nor the fact that she becomes disabled in the same way because some people do think disability and mental illness is contagious but I'm willing to let it slide for the sake of dramatization.

Affearances genuinely course corrects to show the small ways in which Eda deals with her illness not just with medication but also understanding of it. Her need to stay calm, the ways she tries to center herself, all so the medication is more of a stabilizer and last resort. That is genuinely good.

Then... A point I'm torn on. In the episode itself, I do not mind the formation of Harpy Eda. The process of coming to not just deal with but accept your disability is big and hard and you can come out the other side feeling like a new person. One could even see the Harpy form like that and even the deals we make with our disability to let ourselves do more like in Eclipse Lake. I'll even retract old heat I gave this for implying your disability can be a superpower because it fits within the genres of fantasy. I will even admit part of this kindness comes from writing this myself and realizing that it's just more fun and exciting to let the disability have upsides to it rather than treat it as purely debilitating.

No, my bigger issue comes from the fact that it is the end of it as a disability. Eda is essentially cured besides some lip service and if they were going to go that route, they should have just said it. In the finale, she loses to the curse in a deeper way than we have EVER seen before... And then freed from it like it's just a snap of her fingers. Harpy Eda is literally just a super form, not her having to genuinely deal with the illness, especially as it just becomes the way she fights. I do approve of the idea of showing that you CAN get better from this stuff, some people do, but it makes me wish they'd just said that. Just admitted that her coming to accept it was the final step. Would that have been realistic? No but I've showcased how many times already how much this rep relies on dramatization? Give us the feel good ending of Eda having mastered it, explicitly, instead of just letting it be up in the air and used for cheap drama in the finale. That makes the whole thing feel almost exploitative because if I lose it like Eda lost it in the finale... I can't just turn that off. I get to be terrified and shaken and have that day firmly implanted into my mind for the rest of my life. For the show, it was shock value instead and I'm not okay with that.

Speaking of things I'm not okay with, let's talk about the other side of this coin: Hunter. Now remember that I was willing to give grace to some elements... Except now they're reinforced by a second character sometimes and that makes it a lot harder to shrug off. We'll get there when we get to Flapjack though.

No, where I actually want to start with for him isn't even that he has a disability, it's actually with Willow. She tries to make it out like being a late bloomer is the same as NEVER being able to do this. Like telling a paraplegic person you understand their pain because you had a cast once. I've had someone go "Yeah, it's hard for me to get out of bed too but I always manage it," while trying to motivate me to just power through anxiety that was LITERALLY CHOKING ME and I wanted to punch them in the face. And this is the start of your ROMANCE PLOT. The core thing that tells the audience that these two are going to get close and get together.

In one scene, it becomes SUPER clear that there is no one on this writing team that actually understands what the fuck it means to be disabled. The nice portion of the blog is over.

Okay, let's actually pull back. I will give Hunter this: In his early scenes, he genuinely comes across as someone who has adapted to his physical disability and the limitations of it. His staff is his aid device and he makes up for lack of magic with increased athleticism. He is by all means, the most dextrous person we see in the entire show and genuinely, the show never takes that away from him. It's also just really easy to forget because the show doesn't exactly give a lot of chances for it to shine, not while it's mostly shitting on him or having the trained soldier lose to others, if he even seems much more physically capable than those around him at all.

But hey, how about first that aid device! We do recognize Luz takes his crutch, right? Like his staff is what takes away his handicap versus the rest of the Isles. That helps him overcome the limitations of his physical disability and an entire episode has the main character steal it from him and blackmail him with it. He is mildly annoyed about this for the entire episode, almost like not having the way that helps him feel normal doesn't mean much to him. It'd be like if in Affearances, Eda didn't get mad at her mom for taking her elixir because her elixir is the equivalent to Hunter's staff. Gwyndolen is demonized for this action while we're supposed to be on Luz's side because Hunter is a bad man who will do bad things if allowed his staff back. That... That isn't okay to me.

Btw, this isn't even the only time this happens in the show. Belos asks Luz to call him Philip. She calls him Belos. The show is really all for just being entirely disrespectful to someone's identity and personhood so long as you are morally better than them. What the fuck?

For the rest of S2, there's a really, REALLY bad flaw with having Huntlow be his ship. EVERY single one of Willow's episodes to some extent features how being a late bloomer, having struggled/struggling with magic, makes her feel like an outcast. That despite the fact that really she just wasn't great at this skill, she gets a lot of dramatic weight to this. Hunter... Doesn't. His disability is almost entirely ignored to prioritize the fact that he's a Grimmwalker or his relationship with Belos. It is just not a part of his character despite the girl he is blushing at explicitly making it clear that this society ABSOLUTELY looks down on Hunter. That not having magic makes you be less than anyone else. Hell, we get more of this from EDA AND LILITH in the first episode of S2 than we ever get from Hunter. The prejudice they are treated with and their struggles to deal with it while Hunter is at best all subtext.

This admittedly starts getting into how this show fucking hates men and how they are almost all at some point a joke, villain or both in their time. So... Yeah, Hunter not being given respect for his disability while the women are is hardly surprising.

The big thing that shatters EVERYTHING is of course Flapjack's sacrifice. You remember how I had to kind of work around how to make Eda making someone else disabled okay? Well now we have a second time where a disabled character is 'cured' to some extent of their disability... By the suffering of someone close to them. This time with literal death.

One of the worst prejudices that disabled people, of any sort but especially mentally disabled/ill people, have to face is that we are burdens and menaces to society. That we are more prone to hurting people than regularly abled people. That there is a price to having us around that everyone would not have to pay otherwise. If there is one thing you CANNOT do with your disability allegory, it is to make the disability cost someone else their life, figuratively or literally, unless you REALLY plan to examine what the fuck that means. TOH does both, once with Flapjack and once with Lilith respectively.

In order to be 'normal', it literally costs Hunter the life of his best friend. In order to be saved from the extremes of her illness, Eda cripples her sister. What the fuck are you supposed to take away from that? And there is no way to square this with it just being a fantastical representation of something. It's not just making the consequences of disability more extreme or reflecting the shared burden that can sometimes be our existence and our need for support. Being cured should be joyous. Instead, it's melancholic, not for the grief of your existence inherently changing, Hunter is meant to purely celebrate that he now has magic, but because it came at extreme cost to other people.

In that one moment, paired with Lilith, I can't approve of TOH as disabled representation. There is no way for me to ever square it, just like how Luz using depression as an excuse to be the worst version of herself makes me not okay with her as nuerodivergent representation. Not when it doesn't explore this stuff and even tries to celebrate and say this is correct, since Luz is never criticized for her awful behavior during her angst arc and Hunter is made out to be better without his disability, no matter the cost.

I am fine if you don't want to show clean or nice representation of these things. Not all disabled people are nice. Not all nuerodivergent people are functional. There is a wide spectrum to our experiences but to take the worst elements of your representation and give them the most narrative weight is BAD. Even Eda suffers from this. Her taking care of herself is mostly in passing. Way more weight is given to Eda not being able to take care of herself. To how missing her medication by even an hour makes her a danger to everyone around her, or even susceptible to manipulation like when King uses her transforming 80% into the Owl Beast. Suddenly, the fact that she manages her condition like many disabled people do feels really overshadowed by the constant reminders, and literal showings, of the danger she poses to those she cares about most. The cost of allowing us to continue to participate in society, the damage we do to others, the harm that comes from a bad day from us, is so much harder to ignore when those are the elements that your work decides to focus on. It especially sucks because it hardly focuses on the pain and incapability of the condition, just the danger. It's all about what it will do to others and not the agony it inflicts on the person who has it.

TOH is bad with almost all of its themes and attempts to be progressive and this is no different. See you next tale.

======+++++======

I am going to assume that it's the same person who sent me essentially a variation of this ask like five times. If you are that worried about me responding, the Discord is where you will get a MUCH faster response, especially since I am kind of trying to pull back from TOH criticism. It has been genuinely kind of nice to talk about other things recently.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[ordinaryschmuck]

Full Family AU Part 26

Marilyn stood off to the side of the examination table as Camila looked over her "dog." It took her up to an hour to give him a full check-up, listening to his heart, checking his eye-sight, and feeling up his fur.

"His head feels weirdly solid," Camila noted. "Like his skull is on the outside?"

"Well, clearly it's not," Marilyn told her, looking impatient as she started tapping her foot and clutching at her chest. She then pulled out a flask from her hair and popped it open to take a swig out of it.

"I don't think you should be drinking in a vet clinic," Camila scolded.

"Relax, Doc," Marilyn said with a wave of her hand. "If this was mama's night juice, she'd be saving it in something classier than this old thing. And trust me, you'd want me to drink this stuff. I'm a monster if I don't."

"Okay..." Camila picked up her clipboard and started write up her diagnosis.

"Any good news, Doc?" Marilyn asked before taking another swig.

"Well, he appears to be healthy," Camila told her. "His coat's not matted, he's in good physical health, and, most important of all...he's the goodest, good boy I've ever seen!"

She cooed, giving the dog little scratches under his chin and making him gleefully "Weh."

"Aw...The bark's unlike anything I've heard of, though," Camila said in a more serious tone. "That and how weird his head feels makes me a little concerned. I'd recommend going to see David from across the hall and make an appointment for some x-rays. Get the full details of what's wrong with him."

"Woah, woah, woah, no need for x-rays," Marilyn said as she put the flask back in her hair. "I just want to make sure he doesn't have fleas or rabies or anything else that's bad or nasty. Wouldn't want to put this little cutie down, right?"

"Absolutely not, no," Camila agreed, giving the pup some more chin scratches. "Still, while he doesn't show signs for those things, I'm concerned about how he--"

"Stow the concern, lady. I'm already paying for this little guy's medical exam, not for whatever an x-ray costs. Speaking of..." Marilyn dug into her hair again and pulled out a coin purse. "How much do I owe ya?"

"Tanya will bill you up front, but, Ms. Rosenstien, if you want a good, long life for...uh...What's his name?"

"I've just been calling him King."

"King!" yapped the little dog, making Camila look at him with the widest eyes.

"Did he just--"

"You're imagining things," Marilyn said quickly while yoinking King by the scruff of his neck to bring him close, to then holding him in a nicer, more protective way.

"Uh..." Camila shook her head free from the shock. "Well, if you want King to live a good, long life, you need to make sure he's really okay. Like, a hundred percent certain, and all."

"You said he's fine?"

"Well, yes, but--"

"Then that's certain enough for me," Marilyn decided. She carefully walked past Camila and headed right for the door. "I appreciate the concern, Doc, but I don't need it."

"Okay, but I still strongly suggest that--"

"GAH!" Just as Marilyn opened the door, she revealed that Vee was standing at the other end of it, her expression unreadable again as she looked right up at Marilyn.

"Vee?!" Camila exclaimed. "I told you to wait in the break room!"

Vee said nothing. She only stared in a way that left Camila concerned. For more than one reason.

"Vee?"

"Is this kid always like this?" Marilyn asked out of concern for her own safety.

"No, never. In fact, I'm surprised that she's not so...skittish with you."

"Well, I'm the one who's skittish here!" Marilyn slowly and carefully stepped around Vee, clutching King tight. "I don't know about you, but she looks about ready to--"

"I know what you are..." Vee said, now making Camila extra concerned.

"What does that mean?" she asked.

"Heck if I know!" Marilyn yelled, though the panic in her voice sounded like it was for something else other than Vee's ominous aura. "That's a question to ask yer creepy kid! As for me, I'm taking my baby out of here!"

She turned and ran off, Vee not looking away.

"Vee...? Vee!"

"Huh?" Vee looked back to Camila, finally out of her daze.

"What was that all about?" Camila asked, trying her best to keep her voice even. "You scared off that lady."

"Oh, s-sorry..." Vee looked down in shame and started playing with her fingers. "It's just that she...She..."

"She what?"

"...She smells like magic," Vee said quietly. And with that sentence, Camila's concern now turned into confusion.

Or was it a mix of both?

Yes, it was a mix of both.

Regardless of her emotions, she went over to Vee and knelt down to meet her at her level. "What do you mean by smells like magic?"

Vee focused on her fingers, not wanting to meet Camila's eyes. "I...I think she's--"

"Camila!" Tanya ran into the examination room with a huff.

"We're in the middle of something, Tanya," Camila told her.

"I can see that, but that woman? Marilyn? She just booked it out the door without paying!"

"She dined and dashed us?!"

"She dined and dashed us!"

Camila groaned. "Vee, we're going to have to talk about this later. Just go back to the break room and, please, stay there."

"Okay..." Vee said, her voice cracking and tears forming. "I'm sorry..."

"It's alright, bebé." Camila ruffled her hair. "Just a stressful day at work is all. I'll be much better when I drag that 'Marilyn' by the hair and force her to pay her bill."

She got up and followed Tanya out of the examination room, trusting Vee to find her way back. But Vee still stood there for a full minute before sobbing a gentle sob.

"Why are you like this...?" she asked herself.