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imagine-you · 3 days ago
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Think I Only Want You Under My Mistletoe [Logan/Reader]
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Summary: In which you need a fake date to your parent's Christmas party, Logan volunteers, and you realize that maybe your unrequited crush isn't so unrequited after all. May include: Fake Dating, Real Feelings, Meddlesome Friends, Terrible Parents, and Mistletoe. Word Count: 5.5k Author's Notes: Part of my In Another Life, Perhaps 'verse. In which they're stuck in a Hallmark Movie Universe??? Either way, Merry Christmas, y'all! 🎄
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"Ugh," you groaned, letting your face fall into your hands. You figured it was better than hitting your head against the table in the hopes that your situation would suddenly change.  
"What's wrong?" Ororo asked, studying you across the break room table.  
“My whole life,” you grumbled, knowing you were being childish, but glad that none of your students were around to see it.  
You had managed to get a brief moment of respite from the teenagers roaming the halls of the X-Mansion by retreating to the makeshift teacher's lounge located in a room tucked away near the kitchen. All of you had worked to make it your own space.  
Hank had lugged in a refrigerator and at some point a microwave had shown up on someone's repurposed nightstand. Charles had offered to pay for whatever the staff might have wanted, but all of you seemed to want to fill the room with personal touches and effects. So, someone had dragged in an old table that must have been stored in the attic and other people stole desk chairs from unoccupied rooms. Over time, a coffeemaker had been added along with a small cabinet full of snacks. There were also photos along the wall, candid and professional shots of the staff.  
Your favorite was a group shot where most of you were making a goofy face. Your eyes were always drawn to Remy doing bunny ears behind Logan’s head and Logan in the middle of snarling at Remy to cut it out, but there was just the tiniest bit of a grin peeking at the edges of Logan’s mouth.  
He swore he hated you all, but you knew better. He was part of the family and there was a reason he had stuck around despite his own protests.  
The lounge was one of your favorite places to be and it was even better when you were joined by your fellow teachers and friends. It was a bonus perk knowing that none of the kids were allowed. You loved teaching and you loved all the bright, young students taking up residence in the mansion, but it was nice to get a break from time to time.  
 Especially when you needed a safe place to vent your frustrations about every wrong turn your life seemed to take.  
“No, really, what’s wrong?” Ororo asked again.  
"My parents," you sighed, sliding the invitation you received earlier that morning across the table so she could read it.  
"What's the big deal, sugar?" Rogue wondered, leaning over Ororo’s shoulder so she could read the paper as well. "Sounds like a good time." 
"Every year, it's always the same," you explained, reaching out to grab the invitation when Ororo handed it back. "My parents invite me to their Christmas party and I go because I love them, but I end up having a miserable time." 
"If it's so miserable, why bother going?" Logan asked from where he was leaning up against the table that held the coffeemaker and microwave. He was sipping a beer and looked relaxed in a white t-shirt and grey sweatpants. You had a fleeting thought that Logan looked really good and you hoped Charles or Jean hadn't managed to catch that.  
Charles had only grown more meddlesome in his old age and you certainly didn’t need him trying to set you up with Logan. And Logan had been infatuated with Jean for as long as you had known him. You really didn’t cherish the idea of her knowing she had something you desperately wanted.  
"It's complicated," you tried, but rolled your eyes when Logan simply arched a brow at you, unimpressed with your attempt at deflection. "My parents aren't so fond of mutants," you finally conceded, unsurprised at Logan's snort and shake of his head.  
"I might be missing something here, but you're a mutant, aren't you?" Remy asked as he dropped down into the chair at Rogue's side. He let his arm stretch across the back of her chair and you noticed the way she leaned into him, careful not to let her skin brush against him.  
You hadn't noticed Remy enter the room, since you had been so focused on Logan. You shrugged your shoulders, staring morosely at the rest of your sandwich. "Yeah," you sighed, meeting Remy's gaze. "They love me. They do," you insisted at Remy's incredulous look. "But they want me to be normal. I only see them a couple times a year, since I'm usually here with the X-Men, and every year at Christmas, without fail, I show up without a date like an idiot. And then my parents try to set me up with some normal human guy as if that will make me somehow more acceptable to them." 
"That sure sounds a lot like conditional love, sugar," Rogue mused, quirking an eyebrow at you. "Why don't you just skip out on the party this year? Save yourself the hassle?" 
"Because as much as they've royally fucked me up with all their anti-mutant bullshit, I still love them. I can't help it. So, if I have to suffer through another year of trying to ward off some random jackass' advances while my parents stand there smiling as if they can't see how uncomfortable I am? Then I'll deal with the torture if I can make them happy for a few minutes." 
Silence invaded the room and you suddenly got the sense that every person in the room was staring at you. You didn't realize until you said it out loud just how fucked up your situation with your parents really was, but you were so deep into it that you didn't know if you'd ever be able to claw your way free.  
"Well," Ororo started, leaning forward across the table and placing a hand on your arm, as if trying to offer you comfort. "If you want them to stop meddling, then show up with a date. Break the cycle." 
"But that's the problem," you protested, crossing your arms over your chest. "I'm not dating anyone, so I don't have a date." 
"Well, it's not like it's got to be a real one, darling. Why I'm sure Remy would love to go with you. Your parents will sure get a kick out of him," Rogue offered, reaching out to settle a gloved hand on Remy's shoulder.  
Remy offered you a smirk before holding out his hand with his palm turned up. You furrowed your brow as you rested your hand in his and laughed when he pulled your hand close and kissed it.  
"It would be my pleasure," he vowed with a wink.  
You glanced from Remy to Rogue and then back again, realizing they were completely serious. You knew your parents would flip when they met Remy. He was charming, but chaotic, and sure to piss your parents off. If his red, glowing eyes didn't give away that he was a mutant, then you were sure it would only be a matter of time before he blew something up.  
Maybe it wouldn't be so bad showing up with a date. Remy was your friend and you knew that he would do whatever it took to make sure you weren't cornered by some asshole who had been misled by your parents into thinking you were on the market. You felt safe with Remy and maybe for once you might actually enjoy one of your parent's Christmas parties.  
 "Alright," you decided, nodding your head as you drew you hand back. "Yeah, that sounds like--" 
"I'll do it," Logan interrupted, startling you.  
You had completely forgotten he was practically standing right behind you. You turned in your chair to look at him. You were surprised to see him studying you, expression intent.  
"What?" You blurted, sure that you had misheard Logan.  
"I'll be your date," Logan offered before casually raising his beer and taking a sip, as if he hadn't sent your heart into a frenzy.  
"You don't have to," you assured him, not sure how you would be able to handle Logan as a date to your parent's Christmas party. It wasn't that you didn't want to go with Logan, because you absolutely did. The problem was that you had had a pathetic crush on him the moment you first laid eyes on him, but Logan was notoriously head over heels for Jean. 
 Even though she was married to Scott, you had heard time and again from practically every person on the X-Men that Logan had been in love with her from the first moment he met her. So, you wouldn't be able to handle a fake date with Logan, because you would spend the whole time desperately wishing that it was real.  
"I want to," Logan insisted, finally standing up out of his slouch against the table that had been converted into a coffee bar. He rolled his shoulders, like he was preparing for a fight, and you wondered why he was being so adamant about being your date.  
"That's sweet of you, Logan, but Remy already offered, and--," you tried before you were cut off by Logan again.  
"I'll do it," Logan stressed, a hint of a growl in his voice as he stared down Remy like he was challenging him to something.  
You glanced from Logan to Remy to Logan again.  
"What the hell is going on," you muttered, shooting a bewildered look at Ororo and Rogue to see if they were as confused as you were.  
Rogue looked amused and Ororo was watching Logan with an arched brow. But neither one seemed to be questioning the events that were playing out before them.  
After what seemed like hours of intense eye contact between the two, Remy finally held up his hands in surrender. He shot you a wink, ignoring Logan's grunt of protest.  
"I'm sure our Logan will do a fine job playing your paramour," Remy added, reaching out to run his fingers along your arm. "But if it doesn't work out, you know where to find me." 
Logan grumbled something under his breath before he strode over. He snatched the invitation off the table, succeeding in separating you and Remy, before he skimmed over the page.  
"How long will it take to get there?" Logan asked, glancing down at you.  
"It's about a three-hour drive from here," you told him, trying not to focus too much on the fact that Logan was so close to you that you could feel the heat radiating off his body. The fabric of his sweatpants was dangerously close to brushing against your arm and you had to force yourself to stay absolutely still, because you weren't even sure what you would do if you allowed yourself to move.  
"Be ready to leave by four tomorrow, then," Logan ordered before he placed his empty bottle of beer on the table between you and Remy and left the room.  
You stared at the door for a moment before finally turning your gaze on the three people patiently waiting for you to break free of your stupor.  
"What the hell just happened?" You wondered, still trying to catch up.  
"What happened," Remy started, leaning back in his seat and placing his arm along the back of Rogue's chair again, "my beautiful, clueless friend, is that Ororo here owes me twenty dollars." 
"What," you muttered, watching helplessly as Ororo handed Remy the money she evidently owed him.  
"It was only a matter of time," Remy continued, tucking the money away in his pocket. "Logan's wanted you for years." 
You scoffed, ready to deny it, but shut up at Ororo's eye roll.  
"I thought he would never make a move, but Remy had far more faith in Logan than I did." 
"A move? What move? There wasn't a move," you insisted.  
"Swooping in and stealing you away from a fake date with my Remy? That was a move," Rogue assured you, grinning at you. "It was only a matter of time. Everyone knows about Logan's feelings except for you."   
"There are no feelings, because he's been pining for Jean for years," you reminded them. You stood up, grabbing the invitation off the table, and fixed them all with a determined look. "You're all wrong, you know that? Nothing's going to happen between Logan and me," you told them before leaving the room.  
You clutched the paper in your hands and tried to ignore the fact that you really, really wanted something to happen between you and Logan.  
The next afternoon, you were nearly done getting dressed when someone knocked on your door. You glanced at the clock, realizing it was nearly four, and rushed to pull on your jacket as you walked to the door.  
You opened the door and stood, stunned, at the sight of Logan dressed in a dark t-shirt, jeans, and a leather jacket. This was as close to dressed up as Logan got and you didn't get why he was going to all the effort just for you or your mutant-hating parents.  
"Did you shave?" You blurted, noting that his usual scruff was a little more contained than usual.  
Logan shrugged his shoulders, stepping to the side and gesturing for you to lead the way. You narrowed your eyes at him as you passed him, making for the front door of the mansion. Logan reached out and stopped you with a hand on your elbow, steering you towards the garage instead.  
"Are we taking your bike?" Temperatures were quickly dropping outside and you didn't exactly want to freeze your ass off even if you would be pressed up against Logan.  
"Nope," Logan answered, not bothering to clarify until he was standing right beside Scott's car.  
"Are we stealing Summers' car?"  
Logan held up the keys, flashing you a quick grin. "Asked for permission this time," he informed you before rounding the car and pulling open the passenger side door. He stood there, watching you expectantly, before you finally forced yourself to move.  
"Thanks," you told him, gifting him with a smile, before settling into the passenger seat.  
Logan gently closed the door for you before moving towards the driver's side. It wasn't long before he was pulling the car out of the garage as you put your parent's address into the navigation system. Christmas music faintly played, filling the silence between you, and you kept shooting nervous looks over at Logan. His shoulders were tense and his hands periodically clenched the steering wheel tight. You couldn’t tell if he was regretting his decision or feeling just as anxious as you were.  
The silence began to feel excruciatingly awkward, but you didn't know how to fill it. You spent so long staring resolutely out the window that you didn't even notice when you began to drift off, your head lolling back against the headrest as your eyes closed.  
"Y/N," Logan called, his hand on your shoulder cautiously shaking you awake.  
"What?" You grumbled, reluctantly opening your eyes and squinting over at him.  
Logan looked enraptured, a soft smile on his face as he studied you.  
"We're here," he told you, prompting you to look out the windshield to the sight of your parent's home. Logan had parked the car in the long, winding driveway. There were already several cars parked along the side of it, which only made the driveway seem longer. "So, your family's loaded, huh?" 
"Yeah," you groaned with a grimace. "Why do you think they keep trying to marry me off to all their rich friend's sons? They want their legacy to continue or whatever bullshit goes on in their heads." 
"Damn," Logan sighed, shaking his head. "Good thing you won't have to worry about that this year, huh?"  
You nodded your head, finally making yourself look at Logan again. You reached out, tentative, and placed your hand on his arm. "Logan?" 
"Yeah?" He asked, staring down at your hand before turning slightly in his seat to face you.  
"Thanks," you said, pulling your hand away when you realized you had been touching him for way too long to be normal. "For doing this," you clarified, ignoring the way your cheeks flushed at his attention. "You really didn't have to, you know." 
Logan stared at you for one drawn-out intense moment and you fought the urge to look away. You inanely felt like you were in a predator's sights, which was stupid because Logan would never hurt you, but you still felt like you were being hunted. 
"Yeah, I did," he finally responded, his gaze lingering on you before he glanced away.  
Before you could question him, Logan got out of the car. You stared at the closed driver's side door for a moment before you took a deep breath and opened the passenger door. Logan met you just as you were getting out and he closed the car door for you.   
He held out his arm and you linked yours with his as you headed up towards the house. You had to stop yourself from swaying into Logan's side. There was a feeling rising within you that you weren't sure how to contain. It was anticipation and longing and fear, because if you fucked this up, then what would you do? It would be awkward living and working in the same place as Logan and you hated the idea of avoiding him all to save yourself some dignity.  
Before you were ready, you were standing on your parent's doorstep, hesitant to announce your arrival.  
"What's wrong?" Logan asked, nudging you in the side with his elbow.  
"We can leave," you blurted, avoiding his gaze. "We can leave and just skip this year and they never have to know I was here." 
Logan sighed before unhooking his arm from yours and wrapping it around your shoulders. "I've got you," he promised. "Now ring the damn doorbell." 
"That was almost sweet," you muttered, grinning at Logan's snort of amusement.  
You reluctantly reached out to ring the doorbell, wincing at the chime you had heard throughout all your childhood. It meant you were home and not where you really belonged at the X-Mansion. You were still debating the merits of just making a run for it when the door opened and you were met with the sight of your mother.  
She looked genuinely happy to see you, which was really one of the only things that was keeping you rooted to the spot. But then she realized you weren't alone and she turned her attention towards Logan. The warmth in her smile faded into something more polite and suited for company.  
"Oh, you brought a friend," your mom observed, the corners of her mouth turning down in disapproval.  
"I brought a date," you corrected her, trying not to startle when Logan dropped his hold on your shoulders and instead grabbed your hand. Feeling Logan lace his fingers through yours felt like the greatest thing ever and you hated that he was only doing it for show.  
"And who is this?" Your mom asked, already dismissive of Logan despite knowing nothing about him.  
She knew one thing, you thought, doing your best not to scowl at your mom. She hadn't picked Logan for you, so of course he wasn't good enough.  
"Logan, ma'am," he introduced with a nod of his head.  
"And how do you know my daughter, Logan?" Your mom interrogated, staring him down as if she could make him disappear if she concentrated hard enough.  
It was then you realized your mom was refusing to move until she got her answers. Your mom hated being perceived as rude and you knew she must really not want Logan there if she wasn't even going to pretend to welcome him.  
"Y/N and I work together and--" Logan cut himself off and shot you a wary look. You shook your head, letting him know not to tack on that you practically lived together as well. "We work together," he settled on with a small shrug of his shoulders.  
"Are you one of those?" Your mom asked, gesturing briefly towards you.  
You felt Logan tense up at your side and knew that trouble was fast approaching. Logan smiled at your mom, practically baring his teeth, and cocked his head to the side. "A mutant?" He supplied, practically not blinking as he met your mom's unimpressed stare with one of his own. "You could say that, sure," he added with a dangerous smirk that sent warning bells ringing in your head.  
You tightened your hold on Logan's hand, lending him your own brand of moral support while also hoping to shut him up. "Mom, it's cold out here," you hinted, quirking an eyebrow at her. “Maybe you should invite us in.” 
"Right," she muttered before stepping aside. "Why don't you and your...date," she practically sneered, "come in?" 
"Thanks," Logan told your mom, offering her a wide, unsettling smile. "Your hospitality is appreciated." 
You had never really seen Logan like this before. Maybe once or twice when he was in the same room as Scott and Jean and he wanted to get under Scott's skin. But this was somehow different and terrifying and just a bit thrilling.  
Logan was doing his damnedest to stand up for you while also pretending to respect your mom. You could tell your mom was disappointed in you, but you didn't even care. You found yourself wishing that bringing Logan as your date was real, but you would take what you could get. You would just have to enjoy Logan's attention for as long as you had it. 
Logan urged you forward with a hand on the small of your back and then helped you shrug out of your coat. “You weren’t kidding,” he muttered under his breath, sounding irritated. “You’ve put up with this shit your whole life?” 
“Yeah,” you answered, knowing it was starting to look really pathetic on your part.  
Your mom had retreated into the living room. You could see her talking to your dad and she pointed towards you and Logan. Your dad scowled before schooling his expression into something more neutral.  
"Shit," you hissed, before grabbing Logan's arm. "Let's go somewhere else," you suggested.  
"I go where you go," Logan promised, letting you lead him towards the dining room where you knew you would find a buffet-style spread of food.  
At the very least, this was something your parents always got right. Logan looked exhilarated as he piled a plate with all kinds of food, ranging from strips of steak to scalloped potatoes to slices of honey glazed ham.  
“Now this is a spread,” he approved, taking a bite of stuffed mushroom.  
“Eat up,” you told him, grinning at him. “You’ve earned it.” 
After eating and then drifting from room to room in a bid to avoid your parents, you realized that Logan was intent on keeping his word. He stayed right there at your side, letting you introduce him to your parent's friends and their kids with a smile on his face and a hand on the small of your back. 
You were beginning to feel flustered having Logan in your space, so you retreated to the one place you knew you could drop the facade for just a little bit and gain a tiny bit of your sanity back.   
You ended up hanging out with the children that had been left in a room near the back of the house. You had always hated being a kid at your parent's parties, because it meant you were stuck in a room with other kids and basically ignored for the rest of the night. But now, as an adult, it was the only true refuge to be found at your parent’s house during a party. 
You ended up entertaining them with your powers. You helped some float using your forcefields and you turned invisible and let them try to find you. All the while, Logan stood at the entryway of the room, watching you with a fond little smile that set off a fluttering in the pit of your stomach.  
After half an hour of Logan's undivided attention, you decided to give yourself a break. You planned on staying with the kids, so you doubted your parents would even find you. The plan was foolproof and would give you the time to calm your racing heart.  
"Hey, would you mind getting me a drink?" You asked Logan, glancing up at him from where you were crouched on the floor and letting Mrs. Hudson's granddaughter draw what you thought might be a unicorn on your arm.  
Logan nodded his head, pushing off the doorframe he had been leaning against. He looked so fond and you couldn’t take it anymore. 
"Any preferences?" 
"Surprise me," you told him with a grin, feeling just the slightest bit bold and playful.  
“You got it.” Logan winked before leaving the room, doing nothing to help you feel any more in control of the situation.  
"Are you and Mr. Logan getting married?" Mrs. Hudson's granddaughter asked you, adding what you assumed was blood beneath the unicorn's hooves. Either that, or she had run out of green for grass and was making do with what she had on hand.  
"Mr. Logan doesn't like me like that," you told her, obediently turning your arm over when she tapped it and shook a blue marker at you.  
"Yes, he does," she answered, as if it was that simple. She started shading in a sky and you hoped it would be easy to wash off later.  
"Well, isn't that adorable," someone drawled from the doorway.  
"Fuck," you breathed, instantly recognizing the voice.  
"That's an uh-oh word," Mrs. Hudson's granddaughter reprimanded you.  
"Sorry," you told her, patting her on the shoulder before standing up. You reluctantly turned to see your ex standing there. "What're you doing here?" 
"Your parents invited me," Timothy told you, studying you. "God, you look great." 
"Shit," you groaned, realizing that Timothy had been the person they were going to try to set you up with this year.  
"That's another uh-oh word," Mrs. Hudson's granddaughter informed you with a disapproving frown.  
"Right," you agreed before walking towards Timothy. "Maybe in front of the children isn't the best place for this conversation."  
You brushed past Timothy, hating that you were in the same room as him, much less signing yourself up for a confrontation. You had been convinced for three years that Timothy was the one until he told you that he would rather adopt children than risk you passing on any of your 'mutant genes' to them. It had crushed you, realizing that Timothy didn't fully love you at all, and you had packed up all your things and joined the X-Men.  
If anything, it should have made your parents hate Timothy for driving you away. Instead, they seemed to think he was the one who got away for you and you would never do any better.  
You stopped in the entryway of an empty guest room and turned to face him.  
"Look, I don't know what my parents told you, but I'm here with a date. I'm taken, alright? I don't want to get back together." 
"Oh, come on," Timothy said, moving forward until he was in your space. "There's no date. You don’t have to lie to me to make me want you more. I want you. I always have. And now we're here and there's a really good reason why I should kiss you right now," he continued with a quick glance up.  
You tried not to wince as you also took a chance and looked up at the frame of the doorway. "Mistletoe," you observed, hating that you had the worst luck. "It wasn't on purpose." 
"I already told you that you don't have to lie to me," Timothy claimed before bringing a hand up and cupping your cheek. "I'm all yours, babe. Just say the word." 
"Leave," Logan growled, approaching the pair of you from down the hallway. He had two wine glasses in his hands which he quickly set down on a table displaying family photos.  
"Who the fuck are you?" Timothy asked, barely even budging from his spot in front of you.  
"My date," you helpfully informed him just as Logan unsheathed his claws.  
"What the--" Timothy started just as you pushed him away with a forcefield. He went stumbling back, shooting you a look of betrayal. "You swore you'd never use that against me." 
"When we dated, sure," you reminded him. "But we're not together anymore. And we never will be again," you stressed, hoping he would get the message.  
When Logan kept coming towards the two of you, not bothering to put away his claws, Timothy's eyes widened.  
"Move it, bub," Logan snarled, looking like he was moments away from sinking his claws into Timothy. 
"Okay, okay, I get it, whatever. Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry," he rambled, practically scrambling to get away from you and Logan.  
You watched him scurry away, a grin tugging at your lips. "That was great," you exclaimed, turning back towards Logan. You nearly jumped when you realized that Logan was now standing right in front of you.  
He packed the claws away and reached up to frame your face in his hands.  
"What are you doing?" You whispered, your heart suddenly pounding so hard you were sure Logan would be able to hear it going crazy.  
"There's mistletoe," Logan reminded you, his voice soft and intimate. 
"We don't have to," you assured him. "I mean, it's just a dumb tradition, right? It's--" 
"What I want," Logan finished for you, expression intent and serious. His thumb gently swept along your jaw and you didn't even have time to process the fact that Logan wanted to kiss you before his lips were pressed against yours.  
Your brain went haywire trying to figure out what to do. You brought your hands up, unsure where they should land, before you settled them on Logan's shoulders. You were worried you would fuck the moment up by not responding, so you poured all your feelings into the kiss. You had wanted Logan for so long and if this was the only kiss you got from him, then you wanted it to be something you remembered for years to come.  
Logan's touch remained gentle, but his kiss was searching and all-consuming. You nipped lightly at his lips, testing for a reaction, and shivered when Logan moaned and reeled you in closer.  
By the time you pulled away, you felt like Logan had thoroughly claimed you. You nearly couldn't catch your breath, torn between giddy anticipation and fear that this was all about to come crashing down around you.  
You met Logan's eyes, unsure of what you would find there. You froze for a moment, sure that you were wrong, but you let yourself take the time to really look at him. You couldn’t afford to mess this up. There was way too much at stake. 
Logan was watching you like you were the only thing in the whole world. He was looking at you with affection and want and something that looked a lot like love to you. It was exactly what Remy, Rogue, and Ororo had claimed Logan had been doing all along.  
"I've really got to thank Remy," you muttered, realizing that he had been right that Logan had been making a move by agreeing to be your fake date. Except, Logan did have real feelings for you, but you were the only one who hadn't been able to see it.  
"What?" Logan growled, his grip briefly tightening on you. "You're really thinking about Remy right now? After what just happened, he’s what’s on your mind?"  
You shook your head, smiling at Logan. Logan had absolutely no reason to be jealous, because even if he might not be aware of it, there was no one who could ever compete with him. No one else had ever made you feel the way Logan made you feel. You felt like there was a warmth taking root in your chest and it was lighting you up inside. It was all Logan. His touch, his kiss, and his affection had you feeling invincible.  
As long as you had him, you truly could do anything. Including deal with your parents and their intolerance and shitty choice of suitors for you.  
Logan had volunteered to be your date and had spent a whole evening putting up with your parents and their snooty, prejudiced friends all for you. Logan had run off your ex and then kissed you like he wanted nothing more than to keep doing that for the rest of his life. Logan wanted you just as much as you wanted him and you felt like you were on top of the world.  
You didn't care that this had started out as fake, because now it was real and there was really only one thing you wanted to do now that you knew you had Logan.  
"You've got nothing to worry about. You're all I want," you assured him before reeling him back in for another kiss underneath the mistletoe.  
It wasn’t exactly the Christmas you had expected to have, but it was turning out to be the only one worth celebrating. 
Logan was truly the best gift you had ever received. 
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demon-country · 3 days ago
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To be fair, Stolas has only spent a couple of minutes on screen with them at all, and none of those cases made a lot of sense for him to say their names. His "you littler ones" comment was condescending as all fuck, but there's no one who'd have said their names in that scene as opposed to something like "you guys", since he was taking to them not about them. With Moxxie in Seeing Stars, I think a lot of people would just say "what's his phone number" when they could point to the person in question, so that's not really indicative of anything?
Also, that's patently untrue that Blitz is the only imp that Stolas cares, or more accurately has cared about (since it seems at this point that the only two people he cares about at all on a personal level are Blitz and Octavia). He seemed to have had a great relationship with his butler as a child, and there's no way a kid as lonely and desperate for love and validation as he was wouldn't have tried to seek it from his staff, who were his caretakers and literally the only people he was around for the most part. How close they'd actually be willing to let him get is unknown, but he still undoubtedly would have wanted to have relationships with them. It didn't stop him from having the racism/classism get drilled into him later on, of course, but it likely is the reason that Stolas thinks of them as real people who have lives worth just as much as his own, as opposed to most other royals we've seen.
Plus, he doesn't actually need to care about them to know their names. Blitz himself said that Stolas called him to ask about his day and interacted on social media often enough for it to be noteworthy, and it can't have usually led to something sexual or else Blitz would have said so, since he was talking about how Stolas only wants him for sex. The only way Stolas could have gone approximately a year and a half without learning any of their names is if he deliberately ignored and forgot them every single time Blitz mentioned them in their conversations or when Blitz posted about them on his social media account, which there's no way Blitz wouldn't do that often, seeing as they're a huge part of his everyday life and literally the only other people in his social circle. Stolas also wants to be in a relationship with Blitz and has for a long time now, so it'd be extremely strange for him to not even know the names of the people who would come with that, because there's no way he doesn't know by this point that they're Blitz's found family.
Idk, those just seem like pretty bad faith readings of those scenarios, which I'm sure wasn't your intent, but it really doesn't make a ton of sense to assume that when we only have a very, very tiny sample size of his interactions with anyone - including Blitz and Octavia, despite it now being close to two years since Blitz and Stolas first reconnected - and there's enough evidence to the contrary to make it implausible.
(Also, hopefully this doesn't come off as antagonistic in any way, because that's really not my intent. I'm mostly just confused because this is a take I really don't understand at all, and am extremely long-winded pretty much all the time.)
Does Stolas deserve to lose everything?
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The answer is a simple: No! Of course not!
What happened to Stolas in Mastermind was horrible, he essentially lost everything he ever knew in a very cruel and unusual way, and the real kicker is the fact that the punishment is rather light in comparison to the punishment Blitz would have gotten if he hadn't stepped in.
But why did it happen? Simple.
It happened for the sake of Stolas' future character development.
It didn't happen to "punish" Stolas when the man really only has the best of intentions.
Surprise! Surprise!
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I want to highlight this specific statement Apology Tour's description states: Stolas still not being quite self aware enough at times.
Stolas genuinely does not know what is wrong between them, he genuinely can not understand the issues
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If there is one thing Stolas has always wanted to know, it's the why...
Why is Blitz so guarded with me? Why does Blitz accuse me of looking down on him? Why does Blitz always mention my Princely status when talking about our relationship?
And here's the thing, even if Blitz were to sit Stolas down calmly and explain the why, Stolas will never get it. He will never understand it.
Stolas will never understand the struggles Blitz went through and still goes through just by living as an imp.
Blitz is an asshole, but you can't say he isn't determined.
When Blitz wants something so fucking bad, he'll get it, it doesn't matter who he needs to steal from, who he needs to fuck, who he needs to kill, lie, and cheat with... He's going to get it.
Blitz wants to be his own boss, he doesn't want to be like any other imp who works for someone else, so he'll do whatever it takes to make that dream a reality.
And the thing is Stolas wants to do better and understand Blitz's point of view... he states it time and time again.
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Unless it's me And no matter what in this world I could give It's not enough To get through the walls you've conjured up to live
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But maybe it's all on me For missin' every sign and every glance And every turn
Maybe there's somethin' here for us to glean For you to teach, and me to try to learn
~~~
The sad part is that Stolas is just going to have to learn it the hard way because where's the fun in just giving Stolas a book to read...
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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 18 hours ago
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How do you feel about aromantic idia
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As a headcanon? I love (jokingly) bullying Idia for being a socially awkward and sexually repressed otaku, but personally I also like the idea of him being aromantic. He doesn't like attention focused on him and generally seems to prefer fictional characters (ie his waifus/j) to interacting with real people. However, I think it goes deeper than just that. There's many lines in his Suitor Suit card that hint at Idia being repulsed by romance (even if you remove the context of him being kidnapped and forced to wed a ghost):
"There's no reasoning with people who lose their minds over every little infatuation. Like, just keep your head down and focus on school!" (He prioritizes other things, such as school and dismisses things like crushes.)
"I could never swear my eternal love. There's no such thing, and I'm nothing if not honest." (Here, he denies the existence of "eternal love".)
"Love is just chemicals in your brain. And people call that fate? They're all nuts, if you ask me." (He describes the feeling of love in a cold, scientific manner when this isn't something most people would think that deeply about.)
"Don't leave me. Stay with me forever. ...Oof, these emo lines are killing me. I'm gonna steer clear of proposals for the rest of my life." (He makes fun of typical romantic lines and then outright states he doesn't ever want to propose to anyone.)
"Do whatever you want with me. Just get it over with!" (Idia conveys distress and wanting to quickly be done with the kiss/general romantic circumstances.)
"If you want to talk romance, I'm your guy. I'm familiar with all the popular fan ships in video games and manga. You might even call me an expert." (He diverts the topic of real-life romances to his hobbies; aromantics, contrary to popular belief, can still enjoy romantic media without being attracted to or having limited attraction to real people themselves.)
Beyond his Suitor Suit lines, Idia has expressed upset at romantic love being viewed differently than platonic love. In 6-76, during his post-OB flashback, Idia shows off Ortho to Styx researchers, who are appalled by what he has done. "Wait... You built your late brother?! But that's wrong, Mr. Shroud!" they tell him. To that, Idia says, "So it's romantic when a hero rescues his ladylove from the Underworld, but when I do the same for my brother it's wrong?" He's frustrated that the story about Hercules diving into the Underworld to save Megara is praised, but him going that same extreme distance to revive his loved one--an act of platonic love--is denounced.
Idia is also consistently a character that has been shown to enjoy optimization and efficiency. He doesn't like anything that overcomplicates what can easily be done or made easier by machines. For someone like him, who was raised in isolation and has to bear the guilt of potentially dooming a future partner to the Shroud family curse, I think he'd just say "fuck it" at some point and decide it's ultimately not worth that hassle. It could read like a justification for him if others ask why he never looked into finding a spouse, S/O, etc. Like he'd tell them it isn't worth his time or something to get them off his back.
Of course, this is just my personal headcanon and you're free to agree or disagree with me on it! (I support all you Idia yumes and shippers out there 😉) Let's remember that we're all here to have fun and to not take these things too seriously.
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theunsinkableship1 · 22 hours ago
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DENIAL IS NOT A RIVER IN LUKOLALAND
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⚠️DISCLAIMER: This is Lukolaland only. Skip if you don't believe.
Denial is a river in LUKOLALAND?
This has to be a joke, right? Some responses that I have received on my latest posts on TT and Tumblr leave me perplexed. Let me make something clear: I’m not here to convince anyone of anything. You have the right to believe whatever you want, that’s your prerogative. However, this is a Lukola space. It’s a space that exists to celebrate their connection, to nurture it from afar, because it shines brightly and is uniquely beautiful.
I don’t know them personally. I can only judge from what I’ve seen and heard, and I fully acknowledge that my perception is biased. My interpretations come from the way I read into their actions, their words, and their patterns. What I share here isn’t fact, it’s speculation based on observation. The only thing I know for sure is that I don’t know what’s really going on.
First and foremost, they are colleagues and FRIENDS. They’ve said that multiple times, and I believe them. For those who doubt their friendship, I don’t know what to tell you. That’s the foundation here. If you don’t even believe in their bond as friends, this probably isn’t the space for you.
But here’s where it gets complicated: they’re not just platonic friends. You may have missed it, but the signs are there, publicly available. You just need to pay attention. I’m not talking about outlandish theories; I’m talking about what’s right there if you’re willing to see it.
I believe they’re in love with each other. As for their current situation? I’m not certain. But the level of plausible deniability in their story doesn’t make sense to me. Maybe it does to you, but for someone who thinks in layers, patterns, double entendres, and undertones, someone who loves words and has studied communication and PR, this whole narrative is anything but straightforward.
Leaving this much space for misinterpretation is a choice. If they wanted to shut this down entirely, they could’ve done so with clarity and finality. It’s not that they can’t make themselves understood without being misconstrued, they absolutely can. But they haven’t.
It’s wise to keep a level of doubt, it maintains objectivity and prevents overreach. However, when coincidences stack up and patterns emerge, it becomes increasingly unlikely that they’re all mere misunderstandings or products of plausible deniability.
The more coincidences there are, the less likely they are to be unrelated.
On their own, one or two could easily be explained away, “just friends,” “PR,” or “fans reading too much into it.”
When similar themes arise repeatedly over months or years (e.g., their timing, shared themes, subtle nods to one another), the likelihood of them being mere coincidence diminishes.
The concept of plausible deniability hinges on actions that could be explained in multiple ways. However, the more layers of ambiguity and deniability built into their interactions, the more intentional it feels.
The subtleties of their public dynamic suggest a shared awareness of fan interpretations. They know how their actions are perceived. To repeatedly engage in behaviors that could be "misunderstood" suggests either: a) Intentional messaging within safe boundaries. b) A significant lack of care, which doesn’t align with how thoughtful and calculated they seem to be.
Take Nicola’s recent Times interview as an example. She could have ended all speculation right there,
“A lot of people really want me to marry Luke,” she says with a laugh. “We have this gorgeous friendship. We have such a love for one another and this experience that I’ll never have with someone else again. Isn’t it gorgeous that a man and woman can have that sort of relationship with one another?”
but she didn’t. Why? There must be a reason. And no, it’s not just PR. PR campaigns don’t operate on layers of plausible deniability that stretch across years, interweave with personal moments, and rely on such specific timing.
Isn’t it strange that for two people who have been so close, their social interactions have significantly decreased compared to before? Over the past two years, especially after the world tour, they appeared to have solidified a deep friendship. If the intent is to disengage fans from the idea that they might be secretly in love, wouldn’t it be wiser to interact more naturally and perhaps even acknowledge each other’s perceived partners?
From a strategic perspective, a like, a follow, or a simple interaction on social media could have gone a long way in dismantling the Lukola narrative. Such actions would feel natural for close friends, especially ones under public scrutiny. Their reluctance to adopt this approach only adds to the curiosity. Why not lean into a strategy that would be less detrimental and more effective at quelling speculation?
Perhaps they are more active on private social media accounts, but publicly, the absence of these gestures stands out. If the goal truly is to clarify their relationship and put fan theories to rest, this perceived distance feels counterproductive. The choice to refrain from such actions, at least for now, is, at the very least, curious. Could it be that there’s a reason they haven’t done so yet?
Both Luke and Nicola have had ample opportunities to firmly address and deny the Lukola narrative. While they’ve made passing comments about being friends, these have lacked the clarity and directness that would fully quash the speculation. Why leave the door ajar if they truly wanted to shut it?
Their reduced interactions seem to have coincided with the conclusion of the promotional period for Bridgerton. During promotions, they were actively engaging with each other and the fandom, fostering the image of a close bond. The sudden change afterward could indicate a deliberate decision to recalibrate public perceptions of their relationship.
The decrease in public interactions after the “papgate” could be their way of managing fallout from the incident, yet it raises questions: Why would two close friends need to distance themselves so noticeably? It suggests a calculated retreat to reduce speculation. However, this strategy seems counterproductive, as the abruptness of the change has drawn more attention. A gradual shift, paired with natural acknowledgments of their respective supposed personal lives, might have been more effective.
It’s possible they’re still VERY close privately but have chosen to limit their public interactions to avoid misinterpretation, or for privacy reasons. If so, this deliberate choice to create distance publicly could point to a deeper connection they’re trying to shield.
This brings us back to patterns. If you observe their public interactions, their timing, their word choices, the double meanings, they’re not random. These coincidences pile up to the point where it’s hard to believe they’re all meaningless. Their bond transcends the boundaries of PR, platonic friendship, or even ordinary relationships.
If you reason in layers, you’ll see it too. The amount of room they leave for interpretation is extraordinary. It’s not just about what they say, it’s about what they don’t say. It’s about the undertones, the pauses, the way they navigate questions, and even the things they choose to share (or not share) on social media. All of this seems to be deliberate. The picture is larger and more intricate than it seems on the surface.
For example: Am I truly supposed to believe that Nicola, who has a higher degree in English and a major grasp of language, would post a Scrabble board with so many elements that could be interpreted through a Lukola lens purely by coincidence? Yes, she’s an avid player of word games, but let’s examine the board itself. It reflects competent but not advanced gameplay, logical and adhering to Scrabble rules, yes, but lacking the level of complexity, strategy, and nuanced word choice you’d expect from someone of her linguistic caliber or from a player displaying their skill.
For me, this was never just about showing off her love of Scrabble. It felt intentional, like an intended message rather than a casual post. If the goal was simply to share her hobbies or an aesthetic moment, she could’ve easily posted a picture of herself playing Scrabble, perhaps with a pint of Guinness in hand. Or she could’ve showcased a more advanced board to reflect her skills or creativity. Instead, she chose this specific board with these specific words, words that align so conveniently with a narrative many of us have come to associate with Lukola.
And let’s not forget her self-awareness. Why would someone who knows how deeply her posts are analyzed by fans continue to share things that are repeatedly misconstrued? If she didn’t want the association, why add layers of ambiguity, such as the now infamous “the very demure, very mindful” quote? What was the reason?
Just two days ago, she posted a photo in her best of 2024 the phrase "if you know, you know." Let’s be honest, how many Lukola edits have we seen that riff of "when you know, you know"? If this wasn’t related to that, what exactly was the point of the “random” quote?  Is it public knowledge or is it something only some know? Nicola is anything but random on social media. She’s chronically online, she’s clever, and she’s incredibly aware of the narratives circulating around her.
These patterns, Scrabble boards, cryptic quotes, wordplay, and selective ambiguity, don’t feel accidental. They feel curated. For someone so skilled with words and communication, there’s intention behind these choices. If it were just for fun, she could have chosen countless other ways to express herself that wouldn’t leave so much room for interpretation. But she didn’t. And for me, that’s speaks volumes.
I’m mainly talking about Nicola here because there’s simply more material to analyze, her posts, interviews, and public interactions offer more clues and layers to unpack. However, Luke’s activity, or rather, his noticeable lack of activity, is equally intriguing and worth examining.
Luke has always been more reserved on social media compared to Nicola, but his recent silence or carefully curated posts stand out. He’s not just absent; he’s selectively absent. There’s a difference between being inactive and deliberately staying under the radar. For someone who previously shared glimpses of his personal life and participated more openly in fandom engagement, his current approach feels intentional.
When he does post, the content often seems neutral, leaning into professional promotion or generic life updates. Yet, the timing or lack of acknowledgment of certain things, whether related to Nicola or even his supposed personal relationships, leaves room for speculation. It’s almost as if he’s consciously avoiding feeding into narratives while simultaneously not shutting them down.
For instance, why hasn’t he addressed certain rumors head-on, as he has done in the past with other relationships? Luke has historically been upfront about his. It’s a choice.
Considering that Luke has been involved in other projects and worked with other co-stars since the end of the Bridgerton world tour, the ratio of content related to Nicola remains strikingly high. Among the limited glimpses he does share, Nicola accounts for the largest percentage of reposts and interactions. What’s even more telling is that the majority of this content is Lukola-focused, centered on his dynamic with Nicola as individuals, rather than strictly Polin-related, which would be tied to their characters and professional pairing. Yes, she is his MAIN co-star within the Bridgerton universe, but this level of engagement is noteworthy.
This isn’t to say he doesn’t appreciate or acknowledge his other co-stars; it’s just that the weight of attention, however subtle, consistently gravitates toward Nicola. Whether it’s the choice of what he reposts or the absence of comparable attention toward other colleagues, the pattern emerges loud and clear.
If we analyze this through a lens of probability and statistics, the numbers paint an even more intriguing picture. Let’s say Luke has worked with five to seven notable co-stars in other projects and in Bridgerton, if he has been tagged in or had the opportunity to engage with 100 pieces of social media content since the world tour. If Nicola accounts for, say, 60% of the interactions and reposts, despite being one of many co-stars, it defies the expectation of a more even distribution.
For context, if he were equally invested in all professional relationships, the engagement with Nicola might hover closer to 15-20%, proportional to the size of his broader network. The fact that this number is so much higher, let’s conservatively estimate at least three to four times greater raises questions. Is this simply because of their shared Bridgerton fame? Perhaps. But then why focus on individual Lukola moments, bypassing more neutral or inclusive Polin or broader cast content?
From a mathematical standpoint, the odds of this being purely coincidental diminish significantly when you layer in the context:
Nicola has the highest percentage of reposts across Luke's social media activity.
The type of content intimate, personal, or Lukola-specific reflects a curated choice, not random selection.
Even in a professional context, where Polin content would be the obvious promotional focus, the Lukola-centric moments shine through.
Given the numbers and probabilities, it seems less likely that this pattern is accidental or merely reflective of professional obligations. Instead, it suggests an intentionality that aligns with the depth and uniqueness of their connection.
Promotion for Bridgerton Season 3 has come to a halt, creating a quiet period where we can observe and compare how Luke approaches the promotion of his other projects.it could highlight how unique his dynamic with Nicola truly is.
The nature of the content he shares for other projects will be equally telling
By comparing these promotional efforts both in terms of frequency and tone to the patterns established during the Bridgerton promotional cycle, we could gain insight into whether his approach to Nicola was truly unique or simply part of his broader professional routine.
When coincidences pile up, their probability of being just coincidences shrinks dramatically. A single instance might be random, but repeated instances with similar themes, timing, and emotional undertones suggest a deeper meaning. While maintaining doubt is reasonable, the sheer volume of these moments suggests that there’s more at play than mere misunderstanding. It’s not about overreaching, it’s about acknowledging that where there’s consistent smoke, there’s likely some fire. What type of fire is there currently? I’m not sure. Are you? Probably an Eternal flame.
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gaywarcriminals · 14 hours ago
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YQY getting hit with truth serum so he has to confess The Secret to SJ is definitely a thing, because jesus fucking christ ANYTHING to make that man talk, but I think the potential for an even larger audience is fantastic.
A scenario like SQQ's trial. Things are dug up. Other things are implied or even fabricated. YQY is on trial. He's presented with some kind of truth serum. He refuses to take it until it's clarified that it won't compel him to speak, just prevent him from lying. He takes it.
They were lying. It absolutely does compel him to answer any questions asked of him. And the results are completely unhinged.
The Xuan Su thing doesn't even come up. It doesn't need to. In an attempt to paint him as scheming and ambitious, he's asked why he became sect leader.
"So I can give Xiao Jiu whatever he wants."
The assembled crowd: ?????
Is this Xiao Jiu a....mistreess? A son? What the hell. Questioning continues, and Yue Qingyuan's insanity is put on full display.
"What if 'Xiao Jiu' wanted to be the sect leader?"
"I would make him the sect leader."
"Surely the other peak lords of Cang Qiong would object. What would you do, then?"
"Whatever I had to."
Whatever they were originally asking about gets seriously derailed as they realize that this guy, arguably the most powerful cultivator in the world, is singularly obsessed with a person he calls 'Xiao Jiu.' Why did he seek power? Xiao Jiu. What is his ultimate goal? Xiao Jiu.
It's also starting to seem like maybe Xiao Jiu isn't exactly a willing participant.
"What does Xiao Jiu ask you for?"
"To leave him alone."
Okay. So his attentions are unwanted. Yikes.
Further questioning reveals that this mysterious person seems to hate Yue Qingyuan, but is regularly subject to his attentions anyway.
The one question he won't answer is 'who is Xiao Jiu.' He's bleeding from the mouth and eyes, but he just shakes his head or says, "He told me not to call him that."
In the audience, no one noticed Shen Qingqiu's total bluescreen, because honestly? All of the peak lords are feeling pretty lost for words right now.
I dunno, I just think it's specifically interesting to a) have a public reveal that this man is a lunatic, and b) have SQQ find out the depths of YQY's devotion without being able to get the answer he wants most.
This would drive SJ absolutely insane. On the one hand he’s happy that YQY isn’t spilling every little detail of their past for these vultures to pick through, on the other hands where the fuck is this coming from??? What sense do these answers make in the mouth of the man who abandoned him? If it was anyone else saying these things he’d be wildly uncomfortable, but this is just confusing (if he were to really sit with his feelings, he might realize that any immediate sense of revolution was swept away by a long-dormant sense of possessiveness). He intends to grab YQY and shake him as soon as YQY stops giving the OPM grounds to charge him with stalking or harassment or something, and YQY will just give him guilty eyes because he things SJ is mad about every he said on the stand 😔. Actually scratch that for qijiu’s benefit the potion should still be in effect, so the moment they’re behind doors SJ can furiously ask why, if YQY doesn’t despise him, he saw fit to abandon him back then and every day since their reunion. YQY can try to hold himself back from speaking to the point of coughing up blood again, which only enrages SJ further, and eventually YQY is forced to speak his explanation through his rough and bloodied throat. SJ is have every single emotion today and has a 50/50 chance of learning what YQY’s blood tastes like (for normal kissing reasons. Normaler than usual).
On a different note, I felt palatable anxiety reading the first part of the ask because I thought you were going to say that YQY confessed about Xuan Su in public, his greatest weakness and a questionable/unnatural feat of cultivation that he could well be criticized for. I legit think that if that happened SJ would consider killing everyone else in the room to stop the secret from getting out— he doesn’t have time to process all the complicated emotions from what YQY just told him, he only knows that’s it’s intolerable for YQY to be this vulnerable in front of people SJ distrusts or despises.
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vaguely-concerned · 2 days ago
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so for obvious reasons, rye is not generally all that popular with most of the senior watchers. however. I think there is a certain type of younger watcher to whom he is The ultimate hot badboy icon and fantasy. (we're talking about a group of extreme indoor kid goth nerds who've barely been outside. it doesn't take a lot ot achieve bad boy status in this context and the only thing in this world that lasts forever is a bad reputation in a small insular group like the watchers.) it's SO funny because rye thinks of himself as such a disappointing fuckup of a son of the grand necropolis. and meanwhile there are novices kicking their feet and giggling as they're like
'Ingellvar is so cool. no one knows where he's from he was found down here as a baby. mysterious orphan appeal. he could be a secret dalish prince or something for all we know. (*annoyed extra nerd watcher novice voice*: umm actually the dalish don't have princes, merrivar?? read a real book sometime maybe???) he's a rebel. he doesn't care what the senior watchers think no time for politics he just gets the job done. (*small sad rye voice* I care a lot what the senior watchers think actually. a pathetic amount, in fact. it just rarely seems like it helps anything at all) I heard he graduated almost top of his class even though he spent all his time as a student partying up in the city and having a torrid affair with the son of a noble family. sometimes in his spare time he wears a cool punk leather jacket but like the fantasy version of that. he has tattoos apparently but no one's seen them for years. yuh-uh it's true too, I know someone who knows someone he dated once. they say he saw a knife fight once. like, in a bar brawl, with living people. all that, and he's even sneakily emotionally unavailable. *starry-eyed sigh* what a dreamboat'.
needless to say this only grows worse with the events of the game, after he takes out the formless one and rumours start to spread that he maybe killed a god or something too???? and this being nevarra, more importantly he's out there killing dragons with his sworn companions?? like a fucking fairytale prince but with that devil-may-care rebellious streak???? he's the safely unavailable first crush at a distance of many a young watcher. now imagine the reaction when he shows up home for the first time in a year after the war of the banners accompanied by The one true bad boy fantasy to rule them all: literally the sad brooding crown prince of the crows of antiva in leather pants who has WINGS and a dark tortured side of his nature that he has to constantly battle against for the sake of those he loves.
(the perception vs. reality situation for both of these characterizations is. so unspeakably hilarious needless to say. consider how much of the above lucanis characterization is accurate to the person he actually is and then you've basically found the level of distortion lens being applied to rye as well. is most of it technically true? sure. 'technically' is having to do a whole world of heavy lifting there tho fhdfska)
what I'm really saying here is that there is a subsection of this group that's been ferociously writing rye/lucanis rpf from the moment they were seen trotting down into the necropolis depths together (other pairings within the lighthouse gang as a whole, caught in tantalizing glimpses as they visit the necropolis, of course having their own devotees), and when this fandom subgroup eventually discover they were right it's with all the insane glee of a sixteen year old fanfic writer on wattpad (is that still where the kids are these days. idk i'm getting old folks) finding out that their dark mafia prince AU is basically true. varric might be gone but the legacy of friendfiction lives on after him. the king of thedas rpf being the shoulders of titans that young watchers are standing on to write fevered WILDLY inaccurate depictions of the private life of two of the most low-key domestic quietly devoted and undramatic people on the continent, one of them being varric's own poor little meow meow slash mentee, is something that can actually be so personal. rye does not end up terribly famous in the end considering the shit he manages to get done in this game, and he thanks his lucky stars for it. but to a tight-knit community of mourn watch fic writers he is blorbo from my apocalypse. it's all I could have wished for him.
(funniest possible outcome of all this: myrna gets so fucking tired of trying to understand what the novices are being so tittery about that she asks rye 'watcher ingellvar with the realization that this is a long shot and the admission that vorgoth and I have exhausted all other avenues of investigation: do you possess secret insight about what an 'x reader' is. and also 'ship war'. your name seems to come up in this context a surprising amount'. 9000000 points of incoming psychic damage about to hit the fan.)
#all the bellara/rye shippers devastated at rookanis reveal of course. (no basis in anything whatsoever rye and bellara? no vibes)#rye did date the spoiled youngest son of a noble house for a while in his twenties and it was Pretty Bad! not great times#*rye voice* you know I think I like this spin on 'I was a barely functioning alcoholic in an awful toxic relationship#helplessly watching my life fall apart even as I was the one actively tearing it to pieces' a lot better too#can I borrow it. my self delusions could use a fresh shine#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#lucanis dellamorte#rookanis#rook x lucanis#this idea came to me perfectly formed while out on a walk and I ugly laughed to myself the whole way home#again rye doesn't even feel like an oc he's just a guy who exists in thedas and his life is a farce#my only regret is that varric can't be around to laugh hysterically at this. he deserves to know what a mark he left in the world#he was many things to many people. friend. ex (level of divorce not always congruent with actual state of having been married). storyteller#occasional unwelcome tagalong. viscount of kirkwall for nearly a decade (oh yeah!). literary icon. merchant prince#friendly neighbourhood gangster and mother hen to the most contentrated group of disaster bisexuals on the planet#lover. hater. committed centrist (affectionate and derogatory). hawke's forever guy (deep queerplatonic intent)#but first foremost and always king and patron saint of the rpf writers of thedas. rest in peace bff of all time you did great
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the-thieves-gambit · 5 hours ago
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"No.” She scoffed but with a smile. “ I get not recently but what about in high school? College? You're going to tell me you never dated and fallen in love before? Never had to do the meeting of parents or had to the what are your intensions with my child, talk?" While she had never had done these personally herself there were plenty she had to pretend through. It wasn't as if she was trying to fish some sort of sordid affair from him, it was just her trying to know more about the man he loved.
At his story though she looked at his hand. She had pretended a lot of things to get out of various situations but stabbing herself with a utensil never crossed her mind before. "That seems rather extreme." The next words that came from him though, had her hazel eyes gleam with tears, adoration. Love. There was never going to be enough words, gestures, anything in the world that could ever say how much she loved him. So for now, she settled on a small kiss, leaning over and placed it on his cheek.
"You got that all wrong," her tone serious as she settled her head on his shoulder. "I have no idea who Elizabeth Bordeaux is or could be. It sounds all wrong." Watching more people come and go. She had never thought about marriage, even considered it a part of her future one day, but here she was. Like a school girl thinking about her having the same last name as her crush. Though they might not marry, the reason for this trip was at the forefront of him. There was no one else she would ever do this with, consider doing this with. Releasing a small sigh she spoke again. "Elizabeth Sóley Bordeaux, now that one rolls off the tongue a bit better. If I do say so myself."
Sitting up, she shook her head, it was no surprise that she was excited and ready to read the new novel in her possession now. The distractions that Wally provided though, were very tempting and she did enjoy them. "That sounds highly unlikely." Raised eyebrow. "What if I wanted you on your worst behavior?" It was a tease, not like they could do much on the plane full of people anyway.
"Ghost adventures?!" Elizabeth despised that man. Having accidentally seen an episode when she was channel surfing once, she absolutely hated him. Could see past the facade the man put up about being able to channel the other side or other beings. "That fake wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a marmennill, selkie or a mermaid! Anyway," a slight roll of her eyes. "On the island elves are believed to go home from home offering gifts but if you accept them, it causes madness. So its best not to. So technically they are all dicky."
The thought of them going to the museum had her smiling like a fool. "The musuem gets some thing wagging. We can go as long as you don't feel...," she thought over the right word to say but could only giggle when she continued. "Inadequate after, we can consider it. Men don't tend to like to see how they size up to others. There's also lots of museums and we can always go back to see them all."
Hearing another overhead call for another flight boarding, she nudging his shoulder playfully. "Is that us?" She was slightly anxious, ready to embark on this adventure to find that 'right moment.'
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"Yes," without hesitation he answered. Then he chuckled not because she said something funny, just because he hadn't realized she didn't know he didn't really get this far in the dating scene before. "Don't laugh but I didn't really get too far in the dating scene. If you want the truth I didn't date. Not like I had a chance. Karina made sure to keep me busy at work so social life like that, never really happened. I was always best on my own and bringing in a relationship where I had to explain being a hundred different people at one time. Not many would understand that. Meli made me go on one date when I was twenty three. It was lunch at a tiki shop. She was so boring I literally stabbed my hand with a spork to get out of it. Meeting parents deal never did that before. Ma knew that I wasn't easy to impress so to speak so having to hear about you made her realize you weren't just someone. She knew you spoke to me in more than just words." He smiled and that let her know he understood the nervous aspect. "Maybe not in dating but I do understand the nerves. The want to be liked for who you are. Putting your best foot forward is terrifying. I understand where you're coming from but I also know that beautiful albeit bruised heart of yours and have seen how much love and care you put into getting to know people and really try to shed what you had known all your life. And that my darling, is one of your best qualities. Not letting the shit you went through harden you as a person now." He grabbed her hand and kissed her palm and smiled at her.
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"Not really if you're asked. It's like I'm willingly giving you my last name." Though he knew her teasing ways he couldn't help but be funny and answer truthfully. "Elizabeth Bordeaux. Watch out fancy pants. Mnm rolls off the tongue there don't you think?" His grin was soft as his eyes twinkled at the mere prospect of her taking his last name and being married to her.
He raised his eyebrows being surprisingly intrigued by this book. "You can't wait to read it now can you?" The amusement danced in his tone of voice as he kept rubbing her knuckles. "You gotta tell me how it ends though. I promise to behave and let you read it on our flight without or mild interruptions."
He offered up a mhmm for to continue. A part of him wondered what it was that her father wasn't lying about. "Okay, that I learned or saw in that episode of ghost adventures." Was he a fan? No but he was also sometimes in need of a distraction rummaging through paperwork at his desk. "Imagine being trapped in their world. What if you get a dicky one and every word they say it just makes you more trapped." He followed her movement and nodded. "I wouldn't feed my curiosity if I didn't ask about witchcraft on the island.' His heart made a dance at the sound of her laughter and stared at her like she was a gleaming star shining right back at him. Then he heard her and started to laugh making his eyes crinkle at the sides. "Impressive huh? Is this your way of saying we are heading down there first? Feel like we gotta see this ever growing impressive collection that has got tongues wagging."
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klitzy-please · 21 hours ago
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Missing, But Not In Action
Leon Kennedy x Choir teacher! Reader
SFW; fluff: angst; not thoroughly proof read
Author’s Note: Haiii! Klitzy here! I’m so sorry if this seems a bit chopped, I’ve been busy and only had certain times to work on it! I hope y’all enjoy, and please put what y’all’s thoughts (and prayers) in the comments if comfortable enough to do so!
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You pace back and forth, just waiting. You keep calling the DSO, but they keep telling you the same thing. ‘We have this under control, Y/N.’
You don’t believe them, you can’t believe them. If they had this under control, he’d be in your arms, kissing your face off before work, he’d be there helping you with breakfast as you brushed your hair and teeth. He’d just be there.
You tried calling his cell, but you still got that same result.
‘Hey, it's Leon, leave a message.’
Oh, how you hate his job.
You checked the clock, reading 6:30. Shit. If you stayed in that living room, you’d be even more late for work if you mopped in your living room any longer. You grab your bag and hurriedly rush out to your car, keys jingling as you trot hurriedly.
Getting into the metal box, you start the ignition and speed out of that driveway. You and Leon were lucky enough to find this cute little Victorian era house that had about an acre of land around it that served as your yard. The two of you wanted children, hell, you wanted to put. Anything in that yard. He even got you a puppy on your first anniversary of dating. The house was close enough to your job and it was basically out of your dreams. Your whole life was almost actually. Beautiful house, a hot and loving husband, a job you can’t get enough of, everything was perfect, other than what your husband does. for work.
You couldn’t help but think about what he was doing, you knew that if Leon got enough booze in him, he’d drunkenly cry about it to you, but right now, he wasn’t home. He wasn’t in your arms and he wasn’t drunk off of the new bottle of Jamison’s you bought initially for yourself.
Your train of thought was fought off by your phone ringing. It was hunnigan.
You pick up the phone hesitantly. “H-hunnigan..? Why are you calling me? Did something happen?” Your breath hitched in fear and anticipation.
You could hear her sigh “We found him… or at least a sign of him. I could be wrong, but it seems that we should be able to get connected to him soon.” Hunnigan swallowed hard. She was also a bit uneasy about this, but for different reasons.
“Well I don’t know if that’s a good thing… he should’ve been home by now.” Your eyes dart around as you park your car in the “teacher of the year’ spot. “Wait.. how do you know it's actually him?”
“Well, we don’t truly know. But what we do know is that it's in the area that he was sent to…” Hunnigan swallowed hard. “Look, I’m not supposed to say anything, but it’s Leon we are talking about. The mission was a domestic one. Ergo, he’s still in the states… We might be able to get something out of that…”
“You’re actually serious, right? Please tell me you are.” Your lips start to bleed from all of the nervous biting you’ve been doing.
“Yes, I am… I’ll get back to you once I have more information…” Hunnigan clears her throat. “How did you know it was me calling?”
You relax a bit. “I’ve been calling the DSO so much, they just gave me your personal number… I could ask you the same actually.”
Hunnigan chuckled. “Well, I looked through Leon’s emergency files… you were listed as the spouse there. Also, I’m not going to ask why they gave you my personal…”
“Noted… hey, I’ll get back to you later. Please tell me what all you can. I really can’t spend another night not knowing if he’s safe or not.” You tried to stable yourself and swallowed your tears to your best abilities.
The two of you bid your farewells and then hang up. Now, all you have to do is go clock in, check your mailbox, answer emails and get all of your music sheets organized for the 6 periods you teach in a day.
You sit down in your empty classroom in silence. You don’t even want to check your emails, your eyes dart to the pictures of Leon that sat on your desk that was encased in a cute metal frame. It was one of the first dates you ever had with him. You were looking for some vinyls to add to your collection and funny enough, Leon was in that same exact music store looking for some cds for his new (and soon to be totaled) car.
You can’t help but gain a bitter-sweet smile on your face.
Before you knew it, the bell had rung. It was homeroom day… yay.
The bell rang long and a group of kids started to pile in just as always. You sat down at the piano like you’ve done the past a decade you’ve been teaching here.
A tall, blonde kid walks into the class, eyeing you. He’s a junior if you are correct. He’s in your 6th period.
“Mrs. Kennedy?” The kid asks you.
Your mouth opens and then closes. “Uhm.. What's up ,sport?” You ask awkwardly.
He gives you a look before handing you a piece of paper. It’s a permission slip. You nod your head at him and he takes a seat in his respective spot. you can’t help but look at it, to be fair you forgot the kid’s name. It was something that sounded familiar enough.
You read the paper to see the kid’s name. Leo Kents.
L.K..
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‘L—Le—Leon-n-n!’ Leon’s comm rang as he tried to go somewhere with service. There was an outbreak in rural appalachia. Close enough for him to get home in 3 hours or sped fast enough. He grabbed the thing and proceeded to bang it on his thigh.
“Hunnigan?!” Leon yelps.
“Oh thank g——————safe.” Hunnigan beeped through.
Leon’s brows furrowed. “What? I… I can’t understand what you are saying…. Ah hell, the job’s done… I’m going home.” Leon put the device in his pocket after turning it off, he needed to get a car…
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It was about 12 in the afternoon and your lunch would be finished in about half an hour. All you could do was stare at your phone. You knew that they’d find him. Hunnigan promised! Right? I mean she told you that they found a sign, so the possibilities are endless.
You sighed exasperatedly as someone knocked on your door. You looked up to see a head pooping up to look through your window. As you stood to see who it was, a second head of hair popped in the window also, at that point, all you could do was chicken to yourself.
“What is it? Shouldn’t you be at lunch or something?” You lean against the door frame looking at the girls expectantly.
The girl first spoke. “We came to tell you our song choices for S/E. You told us that you’d get back to us by December, and here we are.”
Your eyebrows raised as you nodded your head. “I did say that, didn’t I? So, why is it that y'all came to me instead of vice versa?” The two girls blushed at the question which was more of a statement than anything.
“Well, we wanted to go over the ideas. We have many but we mainly have two to show you.” You boy finally piped up. The girl gave you a nod, agreeing.
You sigh and move out of the way so they could come in until it was time for their next class or however long it took them to go over the songs with you.
You start to read the music sheets that they provided you, all you could do was look at them in shock.
“Seriously? I understand ‘As the snow begins to fall”, but ‘When I am laid in earth’?’ You blinked at them in surprise.
The boy chuckled, almost like he knew you’d say that. It was a very odd mix of two songs with two very different voice ranges.
You sighed and shook your head. “If that’s what makes you happy.”
You put down the sheets into your fabric covered lap. All you could do was give these kids a weak smile. At this point, you just wanted them out of your room. You didn’t have to deal with these two and their jokes for another two periods and all you wanted was just a break.
The pair looked at you with looks of triumph and satisfaction. They finally bid their adues and went out of your classroom.
The second they walked out, You ran to your cell to check for any more calls. None.
You bit your bottom lip hard. When in the hell would she call you back?
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“Baby cakes?!” Leon practically screeched as he ran into the house. Stupidly, he came from the back door. Somehow, he found a ride that’d take him to the gas station closest to your place.
He rummaged through each and every room he could, looking for you. All he could do was yell and scream out your name. He needed to find the love of his life. His world.
The only thing that stopped him was the sound of Hunnigan tapping back in.
“Hunnigan?” Leon barked.
“Leon?! Where are you?! Did the assignment go through well?” Hunnigan shot questions at him quicker than an auctioneer could even talk. This, of course, made the infamous agent chuckle.
“I’m back home… I was looking for Y/N. And yes, it was completed. Once I get to my wife, I’ll be in shortly to put in the documents… though I think back up could easily finish that.”
Hunnigan gave him a glaring look through the screen. “Well they are only there for clean up. You, on the other hand, are the person who was sent in to get the information needed and take out whoever was wanted. But I’m sure your wife and the safety of the country must come first. I bet our boss would just love that!” She quipped, making Leon sour.
“Well, I bet she’s pulling her hair out of her head at the moment… It’s only for a few minutes, she at least deserves that much. And besides, she doesn’t answer her phone at work often.” Leon tried to reason.
Hunnigan leaned back into her chair, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Well one of those few times must’ve been today. I talked to her.”
Leon’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?! Is she okay?”
“Leon… She’s more worried than anything. You haven’t been home. I think she’s a bit desperate.” Hunnigan chuckled. “Hell, she is desperate. She got whoever to give her my personal cell!”
Leon laughed at the mention of your sudden desperation.
“Look, I’ll just put in that you are en route to the main office.” Hunnigan started clicking away at her keyboard.
Leon smiled, relieved that he could at least do this. It was almost rewarding.
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You reread the score in front of you, making sure to play it just right this time. The students sat there quietly, some murmuring about the sudden and rare fatigue, others, zoned out, reading over their own sheets of music.
Your eyes closed as you sighed out of your nose. ‘You got this’, you told yourself.
your fingers played around on the keys, re-warming them up. You hit the starting notes, the time signature being pentatonic and a 3/2. Suddenly, the rhythm came to an abrupt stop. The students looked up at you as you waited for their expected gazes.
“Open to the beginning of the song, but go to the last measure.” You chirped as you brushed the bangs of your hair to the side, studying the way your hands rest on the piano. As if you were programmed, your fingers fell onto the keys, playing the melody of the music.
Your playing almost took you away from reality, from the aching pain of a very long period of not seeing your husband, from the aching pain that your life just loves to inflict. The sound of the piano brought you to a bit of peace as you ended at a different measure. You look at the children, who were closing their folders and putting them up. All you could do was give them a small smile. It was just about the end of the period.
You stayed. Silent as you watched them get up to the sound of the bell as if they were robots, moving to commands. You silently waved goodbye as they curtly walked out, one-by-one.
The second the last kid walked out, your face dropped. You turned back around, you sighed as your head fell into your hands. No call from hunnigan, no Leon, nothing.
“Why did I get myself into..?” You silently mumbled.
You shot up as you looked at the ceiling. You sniffed, holding back your tears. You had students coming in at any minute. You couldn’t just let them see you like this, they didn’t need to see you fret.
You sat there on the bench, basking in the loneliness that you didn’t know would be interrupted sooner than you were hoping for.
There was a knock on the wooden door frame, making you jump.
You quickly scrambled to your feet, flattening out your skirt and fixing your sweater. You twirled around with a hopefully convincing smile plastered on your face.
You opened your mouth, trying to cover up what you were just doing, as though it would paint you a good excuse. Let’s just hope they weren’t there for long.
“Hey! How can I-” your smile faltered as you stared at the taller, tired being in front of you. “Oh my god…”
Suddenly, your eyes filled with tears, threatening to ruin your perfect makeup.
Leon smiled as he hoisted himself off of the frame, making his way towards you.
“My sweet girl, oh how I’ve missed your ass!” He opened up his arms, just as he always did.
You sauntered towards him, grabbing him and pulling him into a tight embrace.
“I… I thought you were dead? You left me!” You choked on your sobs out of relief, anger, and sorrow.
Leon felt his heart cave. He really did make you worry your head off, he really did put you through that.
He chuckled out of relief. “Well I’m here now, ain’t I? It’s okay, I’m here, I’m safe. We both are together.”
You know that he was right, but the feeling of him not being there lingered. You prayed that it was real, that he was actually holding you and not just some dream.
But this was no dream, he was actually here in your arms. Now, you could go back to your usual routine of drinking coffee on the back porch and watching old westerns as you ate breakfast on the weekends. Just for this little bit, your life would be normal. You knew to hold onto this little bit. Because soon enough, your Scottie would be gone again.
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simplyghosting · 2 years ago
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Helping out a friend with some family legal problems and they sent me some of the text exchanges for documentation and my immediate reaction to reading what my friend said was
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xcziel · 5 months ago
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has anybody else thought about how jk could easily manage sofia's parts of slow dance or is it just me?
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#jikook#bts#everybody is working to insert jk in who where i just don't see it (other than the seven parallels)#and not talking much about what i see as WAY more obvious nods most especially in rebirth#like jm sings about wanting to be worthy of someone - maybe someone who just became a huge SOLO global popstar?#and mentions 'real love' - what was the name of that chapter in the bangtan book again?#and the feminine pronouns not present it's just the nebulous 'you' that in jimin songs often stands in for 'army'#(and one very specific 'fan' who has said he is ALSO army)#it's the 'i wanna be with you'#the answer for jk's 'i am still' with its unspoken additional 'still with you' layer#and then we get slow dance and we're back to the nebulous 'you' - on an island he-#oh wait what was that about a pair that traveled to an island? and filmed some stuff there that we'll see soon? hm#the reason this set me off though is the lines about 'cancelling my plans' to live to 'the tempo of our favorite song'#the falling deep into lines etc etc#because we know what happens when those two get together - they lose track of time everything else fades away#it's why they haven't done lives. why 'you and me' are 'up all night' why jm knows that as soon as jk is around#his self-discipline will crack and he'll fall into the pattern he tried to head off by separating from jk while making face#and we *know* jimin wrote on this song#frankly if he *hadn't* gotten a female feature everybody would be JUMPING on this song as a jikook anthem#the inclusion of sofia works perfectly - like hammering the pin back in a grenade#but i was reading those lines and thinking how high she went and going who else could sing this ...?#huh. who do we know of who can sing *anything*? and who has a range that can hit and blend with jimin's perfectly?#so. i dunno. y'all do your delulu the way that works for you and i will do my delulu my way lol#personally i think the eyes in the mv look like a screenshot from the love wins all mv but that's only me#i think the parallels with seven work more#and speaking of parallels (there are so many) i think this album was built to ensure jm is on equal footing with a certain someone#it's the commerciality of it - as though jm was like we will be together in this as well#when he seems not to be super interested in global domination but still 'special' enough to be on the same level with his love
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triptychgrip · 7 hours ago
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Weighing in with a LONG reblog, because I feel very strongly about this and ask in good faith for folks to at least read to the very end before leaping to fire off any angry replies/blocking, etc.
I’ll start off by sharing this anonymous message (8 screenshots) that I sent to thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai a few months back, in response to a poll they had made inquiring as to why their followers continued to follow them.
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As you can see, I used the term ‘off-putting’ to describe the tone of some of their posts, but I could have probably used less watered-down language. @arom-antix : I liked how you framed this particular sentence in your post, and want to focus on the latter part of it: “But when you claim to be an academic and also put down the rest of the fandom for not being on your level..."
It's that latter point -- putting down the rest of the fandom for not being on your level -- that I should have articulated better in my anon message, especially because @thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai : you have made MULTIPLE posts over the last year sharing frustrations that engagement on your meta posts/your content in general (like chapter reblogs for your novelization fanfic) has been lower than you’d like.
I would argue that your condescending tone and outward show of superiority could be a big reason for your drops in engagement. The latter is particularly irritating, because in your pinned post, you urge others to be kind, asserting that you have less confidence than Yuuri.
Speaking personally, I used to really look forward to reading your novelization fanfic -- anyone who looks at the comments section will see multiple examples where I've praised your writing and artistry. But your behavior on Tumblr is what led to my dropping your fic.
Before I go further, I’ll address what I think is the elephant in the room, at least from my own vantage point: I think we have ALL seen the advisory messages on Tumblr that say something to the effect of: "let's allow people to treat their blogs like a personal diary (i.e. as a place to vent with quick takes that are not perfectly worded/thought out) if they want to, and not act like everything has to be an expertly crafted, articulate encapsulation of their thoughts."
Now, I am fully on-board with extending that grace to people: how you use your own blog is your own business, and if you want to go on short or long rants about your opinions on fandom -- or anything else -- that's your prerogative.
However, you can’t have your cake and eat it, too, to use a cliche. thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai, if you are TRULY interested in understanding why your followers may not interact with your content in the ways you want — as opposed to crafting posts that paint yourself as a victim of ostracization, when you, yourself, have displayed very unwelcoming, divisive behavior — then you may need to consider this fact: your followers read everything.
Not just your most carefully crafted posts, but ALSO your personal rants. It might not seem fair for the latter to affect one's engagement levels with regards to the former, but this is just the reality of how things are on the internet/on this particular hellsite.
Getting back to my anon message, thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai replied to me shortly after, with an ask for clarification -- essentially, they said they were disturbed if this was how they were coming across and asked for more detail on why I had developed the impression that in order to engage with their content, that my engagement needed to meet the level of canon-compliance.
If I'd had the energy to craft a response (I won't go into the reasons for why I never ended up doing so, as it's a bit too personal), here's what I would have said:
1) Even if the fandom posts you think are most egregiously based on vibes/speculation claim to be canon-compliant, your bitterness towards their popularity comes across like entitlement. Especially, as 1) as I shared in my anon message, there may not be agreement on what canon compliance means, and 2) because a like or reblog on Tumblr doesn't even necessarily equate to: "I agree with EVERYTHING OP has laid out here, 100%".
In fact, I rarely think a like/reblog means that.
Sometimes, a like or reblog just means that someone finds an idea interesting and/or worth considering for their own content creation and/or just fun to ideate around.
2) of COURSE you are allowed to feel frustrated if your posts that you spend hours and hours working on don't do as well as you hope they will, and of course you are even allowed to post about those feelings, but if you go beyond "hey, this feels really shitty and I wish my numbers looked different" to "why is it that so many garbage takes that are devoid of any substance do so much better than my own?"...well, people will not be so gracious around the latter.
3) further, the same people who respect your work may start to feel like they can’t engage with you because, who knows? Maybe something they’ve contributed to fandom is the kind of content you seem to have such an issue with. I know I have definitely wondered about this, especially as I am currently working on a multi chapter fic that takes place during canon.
The very last thing I'll say is that I have been wanting to address the topic of acephobia allegations but have simply not had the energy to cobble together my thoughts exhaustively (yet).
All I'll say -- for now -- is that I myself am demisexual and can see a strong case to be made for why Yuuri is asexual (I write him as demi in my own fanfic and have even reblogged thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai's meta posts on the topic), however, I don't believe that this opinion makes it acceptable for me to label anyone as acephobic if they don't share it. Or, for me to claim that someone lacks media literacy if they don't share it.
I will save my full thoughts on this topic for a separate post (maybe? we'll see...it would take a long, long time to write, I think), but the one thing I'll say here is that I have seen the claim that people's headcanons around Yuuri's sexuality will inform the content that they want to read about. While of course I agree that this is true, I have seen this extend out to the following concern that I don't know holds water: that unless we all ascribe to the "Yuuri is ace" view, that content that touches upon it will get overlooked/be undervalued.
Frankly, I think this idea ascribes a rigidity to fanfic readers that simply isn't there.
I think we are all capable of reading and enjoying content that doesn't fit our own headcanons, even if these headcanons are "big" topics (and I do think Yuuri's sexuality is a big topic, simply because of how prominent a theme eros/the topic of sexual desirability is in canon. As a little teaser for the crux of my argument for why Yuuri could be both allo and ace, I'd posit that how sexually desirable someone finds themself (i.e. how capable they believe they are of seduction) is related to, but is ultimately distinct from their own capacity to experience sexual attraction).
Lastly, I want to make it clear that I think there is a place in the Yuri!!! on Ice fandom for EVERYONE, even people whose behavior I don't particularly love; the glimpse we get of each others' online personas is just a fraction of what comprises our personalities and interests, and I don't believe in the idea of shaming people to the point of "cancellation" (i.e. to the point where they think there is no future for them to keep contributing/sharing their love of fandom...especially in a fandom like Yuri!!! on Ice that has probably lost lots of people after IceAdo's cancellation!). This is particularly true if they are willing to be introspective around how they have acted.
Oh and lastly (for real this time), thank you both @arom-antix and @blonndiec for speaking so openly about this. I appreciate the courage it likely took to do so.
Hey, just wanted to reach out to say that I found you pointing out and calling this person was really great and you shouldn't have apologized. It was incredibly true what you said, and to be honest it seems out of touch with the reality of a great deal of the japanese fandom, the nuances and their culture. Also, it was as you pointed out, extreme and may I say rude. I want to mention too that the way it was written, as if entitled of the knowledge and the 'explanation' made it all worse in context of the 'fucked up'. The original poster always gets away by using the 'well-written academic'' statement of their 'metas' as an excuse to do or say and make everyone else agree and if not, uses victim narrative and discourses exactly selecting wording for people to agree on it or feel bad.
I don't know if they tagging you in the way they did made you reblog and apologizing/backing up, but no one thought bad about you pointing it out. On the contrary, a lot of people had been bullied and discriminated by this person when they called them out/disagreed going onto lenghts of sending their friends to harass people, and the other persons can't even defend themselves because they are effectively blocked. To quite a few people in the fandom has been done, even accusing them as 'acephobes' (when they're not) or even Nazis by spreading lies. So yeah, I just wanted to say that. I think you were right to call them out publicly.
Thank you very much for this ask. To be completely honest I agree with everything you said here and don't actually feel bad about pointing anything out. I mainly apologised because I didn't want any potentially poor phrasing from my side to cause unnecessary hostility and because I myself have gripes with this person's behaviour but didn't want to cause a scene.
My honest opinion is that they have a serious issue with taking accountability for their own mistakes and highly overestimate their own intellect. If you're reading this, @thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai, sorry if I seem harsh, but it's true. I saw your post lamenting how you're the only academic meta writer / fan in the fandom and I didn't interact then because I honestly do not care enough to start that drama but with the information Blonndiec has just given me, I think it's necessary that someone calls you out.
You're not an academic. You're not beyond the mental capabilities of other fans. You're actually incredibly childish in your metas and analyses and I am not kidding when I say that I was halfheartedly writing essays more academic than every analysis I've seen from you when I was barely a teenager. I don't know how old you are and I frankly don't care. You're not as clever as you think you are.
Also, don't think I didn't notice that you didn't reblog my correction (link here to my correction and here to their "response" for those who didn't see that exchange) of your post so that you could control what your followers saw of the exchange. You're the opposite of an academic. You control information to tailor the narrative, you don't cite your sources properly if at all, you don't format your posts in anything close to how an academic analysis would be, you make unbased claims, you reference posts and canon material without in any way indicating where that information is from, you reference your own (equally unacademic) metas and your conclusions from them without indicating what post it's from or that it's your own theory this new one is based on and instead present it as a common fact, and I could go on and on and on. Your posts are also riddled with logical fallacies and you talk in absolutes and opinions when there's no canon basis to claim such things. I'm sorry, but that's not academic in the slightest.
To be clear, you don't have to be an academic to post on the Internet. You don't have to be anything at all. You could up front be a genuine idiot with no remorse and that's fine. But when you claim to be an academic and also put down the rest of the fandom for not being on your level, you have to be able to back that up. It'd still make you sound like a prick but at least your arrogance would have a basis. It currently does not.
I haven't personally seen the discussions that Blonndiec is referencing and I'm not going to claim anything definitive (because that would be unacademic of me, take notes) but if what they're saying is true and did happen as described, which I have empirical, if anecdotal, evidence to believe could very well be (a friend of mine has personally been blocked by you after they criticised you without actually mentioning your name which I of course can't prove is the reason for the block but the timing is awfully convenient), you should know that you should be ashamed of yourself.
If there's context missing, feel free to enlighten me and call out any incorrect accusations. You have every right to defend yourself. However, I encourage you to cite your sources since you're such an academic. If you don't, then it's just your word against Blonndiec and anyone else who might comment's word and that doesn't prove anything. Don't misunderstand, acephobia and nazi rhetoric should absolutely be called out but only if it's actually happening. False accusations can ruin lives. I hope you know that.
I'm not a fan of calling people out publicly and, again, thank you for this ask, Blonndiec. But considering many of the issues I've personally seen and those I've been informed of by second hand sources were posted publically, I don't really feel bad about calling this out. I could do a full breakdown of just the insulting "academic" comments alone and how there's no academia to be found in said academic metas and, Samurai, if you give me reason to, I will show exactly what I mean point by point (and academically just to give you an example of even low level academia).
If you respond to this, do it in a reblog. That's what a real academic would do. If I'm wrong and you can prove it, you'd have no reason to not show my post in your rebuttal. If I'm right, you'd have every reason to be upfront about your mistakes and how you intend to rectify them. There's nothing wrong with being wrong but there's a lot wrong with refusing to admit to it in a way that lets others peer review you (academic thing, look it up) and come to their own conclusions about the situation. That's what you did when you just @'ed me instead of reblogging my response. A true academic wouldn't hide a peer review. You'd know that if you were one.
I swing in many academic spaces and yet that doesn't make me any kind of expert and I don't claim to be one because I'm not. But since you want to be one so badly, reblog this with a response and show us all how smart you are. I'm dying to know what your academic take on this is.
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frobby · 6 months ago
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i love madoka magica however i dont think we as a fandom talk enough about how tragic madoka herself is. probably because the narrative itself steers you away from thinking about her personally. shes not a character shes a desire that homura has, shes a force of good, shes homura's foil. but those are all madoka's narrative roles but madoka herself as a person is not really looked at because we are viewing this world from an unreliable narrator(homura) who only sees madoka as those things. The best thing homura could have done for madoka was give up on her, to let her go. because every time we go back in time the image of madoka is distorted, she loses more of herself every regression of homura's as she tries harder and harder to save her. We don't even know what madoka originally wished for to become a magical girl in the original timeline. and she actually acts quite differently than the madoka we meet. shes a lot more honest and caring and bold. by the time homura's has reached the actual anime madoka has been reduced by the sands of time to a figment of herself. she has no wants or desires of her own beyond wanting to do good and help her friends and when all her humanity is stripped away is when she finally acends to godhood because thats all thats left of her. an ideal and a faith in her. madoka kaname died a long time ago and all that is left is her ghost.
#of course homura doesnt care anymore because she cant go back she can only go forward cuz if she gives up she killed madoka for nothing#she could have left her pass away with dignity but now shes a ghost stuck in a web of time and the only thing she can do is keep trying#to save her#i feel like inately homura knows this but she doesnt want to admit to herself thats shes the real one who killed madoka kaname#this is a very charitable reading of homura#homura died too but its a clear moment because homura is our narrator#homura akemi will never come back madoka kaname will never come back#but life goes on anyway for homura#heres my truth#i loved rebellion but im actually a bigger fan of the original anime's ending so im glad it seems like red ribbon homu is coming back#i thought that ending was a lot more hopeful and beautiful and rebellion was kind of a downer but i always accepted they were parallel#and seems im right based on posters#for walpurgis#madoka uses one of my favorite literary devices which is the underuse of a character#i dont know whats it called but i love it when they dont outright develop a character usually to signal an upholding of the status quo#i already explained how madoka is not shown as a character but they do this in princess tutu too with mytho#mytho is a character from a book hes not real in the way that the others are and therefore cant actually change like the others can#hes always the focus of others and never the one thinking of others#i mean yeah he spends like the whole anime thinking about tutu but thats PART of his book its not him as a person#anyway ive been talking too much but i wanna bring up my favorite subtle use of this in takopi's original sin#the boy#idk his name rn lmao#hes straight up not present for the bulk of the manga and hes legit just absent from the ending scene despite being one point of a triangle#at first that weirded me out like??? he doesnt get closure???#but the reason was he didnt need it#the focus and moral is that those girls were 'weird' unable to be normal (because of trauma) and their closure was theyre at least together#but he doesnt need that because hes already normal hes the status quo a benchmark for the reader for the reader to judge the characters off#and the characters to judge eachother off of#anyway anyway sorry this has been so long#i had to get all of that out of me
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tanicus-caesareth · 8 months ago
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guarana drama, damage control
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icewindandboringhorror · 2 months ago
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Recent ones of these even though they all look the same lol.. forcing myself to document progress..
#I can average like 2500 words a day for a while and then something gets in the way and I don't write for a week or something#which then sort of erases my previous Doing Good At Keeping Up With It lol.. but... alas#Still moving slowly forward...#There's a 'community board' place in game where you can go to look at a few things and some of whats there is little 'odd jobs' the player#can do for a little extra coin (since you can buy items in the game/might need coin).#Thhough of course since it's just interactive fiction/visual novel it's not like... actual minigames or something. Just like..#mini stories of your character going places and doing stuff and having some interactions with the other places in the world#Like for example since modern refrigerators don't exist in this world one of the odd jobs you can do is help with doing ice deliveries#or there's one odd job where you assist a guy recharging the city's main bell tower/time keeping place by helping him go around and replace#the iriminel crystals (kind of like magical batteries - stones that are able to store energy that way and be used to fuel passive#enchantments). or one where you help food prep for the cooks at a nearby automat. etc. etc.#Just little short things to get a better glimpse of how the wider city is outside of just interacting with the main characters. plus earn#a tiny bit of coin. Though because they're so short there's not really branching paths or anything much for choices beyond#usually an optional dialogye menu where you can talk to the person you're working with and ask them personal#or work related questions if inclined to do so. It'd be cool if they were more in depth but.......erugh...#I have so much writing left to do already lol.. Also since it's really just to get money I could have just had them#all be like a single sentence of 'you go here and you do this all day then you come home. + 15 coins. yaay' and thats all#So maybe it's a middle ground to elaborate upon them at all. Just enough extra details to maybe be a little interesting#like ''ooh my character is in a little cart riding through the misty morning forest on their way to deliver ice'' . but also not so much#that it takes away time from like... the literal actual main game lol#ANYWAY. That's what all these are. There are like 10 optional little world exploring/job things you can do. and each I guess seem to be#about 2.500 words ish. That's including the optional chatting menus though. but still. reasonable for a little side thing I guess.#I got finished with one character's quests and stuff so I decided to take a break to work on some of the other little things like the Odd#Jobs and the 8 characters you can find around the world to have short conversations with that aren't actual main characters either. etc.#Then I shall return back to the Main Actual Things. ... augh...... still so much to do...#Which I could also just cut everything extra out but... idk.. since it's mostly all text I feel the need to give more options to flesh out#the actual setting somehow. Since in a 3D game you can walk around and explore the world and stuff. And of course there#are pictures. but it would take me infinitely longer to do detailed art of so much of the entire city youre in or etc. So i guess my versio#of still having some amount of ''exploration'' is just.. set up optional paths where more of the world can at least be Described.#You can't actually walk through a 3d orchard. or an elaborate bell tower. or an elven shrine. But you can Read About being in them LOL
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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#i was looking through old photos today. they where from wjen i was like 1 and it made me so sad#bc my mum would have been like only a year or 2 older then i am now and she looked so young#and now she has an abdomen full of tumors and blistered hands and feet. theyre prob gonna hsve to remove her bladder#but shes still very pragmatic abt it. but she grew up in a house where no one really cared about her feelings so she made them small#and now her mother calls and doesn't ask how her grandkids are doing and doesn't ask how her daughter is doing. im cursed with terrible#grandparents on both sides but i resent my mothers mother worse. though my dad said i probably wouldnt have survived his upbringing#and hes right. my nana has like zero empathy and cant cook for shit. idk how my parents r so normal but the fact i had a good upbringing is#probably the only reason im still here. and thats the other thing that made me sad abt the old pics. just looking at this little baby with a#fucked up head and thinking: in 25 years that kid is gonna b so broken down their not gonns kno what to do or how to fix it. idk whats wrong#with me. ive always been some stage of miserable but i used to b able to get things done. and now i cant seem to force functionality#and it sucks. bc im home now and i still feel like im cringing around this open wound in my chest. but whatever#as of today ive started taking ab1lify. hopefully it helps in the long term but in the short term it triggers my 0cd. which is not fun#its so frustrating. whatever. i also found out my eyes used to not work together. not enough to have a lazy eye but it was hard for me to#read and apparently my eyes were tracking at like double the speed of a normal person. wtf is wrong with my brain? also also my mum was like#yea i never would have guessed bip0lar but we thought it was something. autism i could see 100% but yea didnt see that coming. ao i guess#i brehave like a bit of an oddball. ans my nana would bother my dad to try to make me participate in church and my dad was like no. she#clearly don't wanna b here lol. ay. they did the best they could which i appreciate#unrelated
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rollercoasterwords · 2 years ago
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sorry but. i truly do not understand the "ai is stealing" stance when it comes to fanfiction like. am i missing something is ai like....copying and pasting or is it just. reading a bunch of fanfiction and then writing something that is based off/inspired by/drawn from it. feel like i keep seeing people getting very upset abt like. chatgpt fics bc ai is "stealing" but i don't understand how it's functionally different from like. a human reading a bunch of fanfic and then. writing something inspired or influenced by what they've read. creation doesn't happen in a void and all fanfiction is derivative art anyway but i thought we were all on board w that....like i thought using the Derivative Art Website means u think derivative art can be worthwhile and valuable so....confused abt how this logic plays out.
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