#the other one was too much of a block of text

[silverhand]

Pretty much.

And as an aside, there's no need to flounce. There's no need to call them on their racism. You can just cut them off.

Unfollow. Block. Don't return calls or texts.

In situations where you are absolutely obligated for whatever reason, do the bare minimum and remember the maxim: If it sucks, hit the bricks.

With the holidays coming, if you know the situation will be intolerable: Darn, transportation issues. Water problem at home & have to wait for the emergency repair. I was so looking forward to coming, but I feel awful all of a sudden and one of my coworkers went home with COVID last week. Lie. Preferably with no detail so you don't have to remember much.

I read something years ago that the biggest problem with online communities (like Facebook specifically) is that we're not meant to maintain connections with other parts of our lives. My personal experience of this was suddenly reconnecting with a single person I know casually from high school and then getting a dozen new friend requests from names I recognized. A week later it hit me, "Right, you were all assholes in high school, too, weren't you?" Block and move on.

The corollary to that is to build the networks you need where you are.

[acevid]

DRDT AU

This AU is taking the characters and swapping their backstory with another character’s. Some characters don’t have a really clear backstory yet, as it is only chapter three, so I will be attempting to fill in the dots. Though fair warning some backstories will contain less than others, due to how much we know about each character is different. Meaning, not everything here is exactly canon, but instead interpretation and slight tweaking in order to make it more interesting or enjoyable. Their personality may or may not change based on these as well. Additionally, their original backstory may end up merging with the person their backstory is supposed to swap with. (Also, feel free to come into my ask-box with questions or comments about the AU. I love seeing people’s thoughts! :D) Fair warning this post is around 4k words long, so uh, big block of text, haha.

Teruko -> Min: Teruko’s orphanage was never in a really good condition compared to other orphanages. The workers tried their best to care for the children, and yet they simply didn’t have enough funds to truly be able to provide for all of the orphans. Of course, that was when the Spurling Foundation came into the picture. They said that they’d fund the orphanage, if they got to pick one kid to take. And so, the orphanage was funded and Teruko was separated from her older brother. They then proceeded to have her live in a small apartment, connected to the company. She got an education (homeschooling), along with food and housing, but she was always scared about her living situation. She never knew what they wanted her for, and she didn’t know whether the company would let her live there another day. She was helpless at the hands of the Spurling Foundation, and unable to do anything about it. Never was she able to be a real child, and now..she’s apparently apart of Hope’s Peak Academy? Something tells her that this wasn’t an accident.

Xander -> David: Xander had been relied on quite a bit. It seemed that since he was a child, he was somebody that exuded the energy of somebody trustworthy. He never really understood that, and for some time he felt a little bitter at being pushed into this role. But as he slowly eased into the role, he realized just how unfair the world was. Why was it that grades apparently mattered so much? Why was it that people had double standards? It annoyed Xander to no end. And so he absorbed this role. He tried evolving into somebody that would embody the very concept of helping. Xander wanted to be somebody that could help morph the world into a better place. He started breaking rules, for the sole purpose of helping. Many people tried to rally him in, to reform him to fit their standards under the pretense of helping him. But he never accepted. At least, that was until his only older sibling offered to guide him to being more organized so that he could get more done. If it was anybody else, he would have declined, however this was his older sibling! So he happily accepted, and it was good for a while. However, soon they got slightly more controlling, trying to reel him in too much. Xander was conflicted with this, unsure of what to do about it. He still continued his activist work, but something about it was different, more guarded. It was at the height of uncomfort when Xander got the offer to attend Hope’s Peak Academy as the Ultimate Rebel. He was put off by this title, but accepted. He would be able to change the world soon enough, even if he was somewhat lacking at the moment.

Min -> Veronika: Min was quite the hopeless child. She didn’t harbor any particular love for herself, and at times felt somewhat detached from figures she was supposed to feel love for. It wasn’t as if she didn’t appreciate them, but sometimes she felt as though her own feelings were somewhat muted in places they weren’t supposed to be. But of course, it had to become worse. When Min was around thirteen, that was when the urges would start. The urge to bang her head against her desk, to pour scalding water on her arm–it was all very overwhelming. Min hated it, she didn’t like being like this. She didn’t want these things on her mind–she just wanted to be somebody normal. She threw herself into her studies, attempting to keep her mind off of these horrid thoughts. Because if she was always focused, maybe the voices would be quiet. And it worked. Min became an extraordinary student, and she felt the thoughts drift away when her concentration was high. She ended up putting so much into her education that her teacher in high school even told her that she should take the test made to create Ultimate Students. And so, Min did so. To her surprise, she even got in. Without hesitation, she accepted, and became known as the Ultimate Student. No longer would she let her impulsive thoughts control her–she would be a normal girl. 

Arei -> Levi: Arei had three younger siblings, all equally annoying. But still, Arei had to protect them. After all, they had only one shitty mother who was too drunk to actually care for them. And so Arei had to step up, to be the ‘mother’ of the house if their actual mother wouldn’t do it for them. And yet her care wasn’t enough. She was a child too, she wasn’t supposed to be caring for three people and herself. Sometimes she even had to help her mother when she felt rather emotional under the influence. It was something that she detested. Arei had gotten into underage drinking as well, to make things easier for herself. She hated the emotions swirling inside of her–she just wanted her mind fuzzy so that she couldn’t truly think. That was only when her thoughts got really bad though. She still tried to care for her younger siblings, practically her children despite the age gap not being too terribly big between all four of them. But one day, Arei was trying to make dinner when their mother had stumbled home. This normally wasn’t a problem, except their mother was rather aggressive that night. Arei tried to yell at her, to get her to lay down, but she wasn’t listening. Arei was unsure of what to do, panic rising within her as her mother’s temper only started to rise. Grabbing the knife she was using to chop vegetables, she then stabbed her. And after that, she just continued as if she was using her mother’s body as stress relief. Only when her mother hit the floor was when she realized what she was doing. Arei dropped the knife on the floor, eyes widening. She..she murdered someone? There was no way somebody with that many stab wounds could survive. She was already somewhat known for her bowling. If word got out..her and her siblings would be in terrible trouble. But to her surprise, workers from Hope’s Peak Academy came to her and told her that they wouldn’t get in trouble if she just honed her talent and came to Hope’s Peak Academy as the Ultimate Bowler when she was of age. They would stay in their home, with just the four of them. Arei was shocked, but accepted. She didn’t want to go to jail, and she didn’t want her siblings to be alone. If all Arei had to do was to go to some shitty school, then she would take that opportunity. 

Ace -> Nico: Ace always felt suffocated within his own home. He was an only child, so his parents' attention was constantly on him. That, and the fact that they pressured him into becoming a jockey. He hated horses, and expressed this rather vehemently, but they didn’t seem to care that he was scared. In fact, anything regarding his likes and dislikes–anything about himself really, was denied. It was as if his parents wanted a shell of a child, and Ace didn’t know how to feel about that. They clearly didn’t want a daughter like Ace–but instead somebody who was kind and perfect and everything that he was not. The worst was when he expressed wanting to be a boy–no, not just wanting to be a boy, that he was a boy. They had yelled and denied, and Ace never felt so stuck. He cut his own hair to be shorter. He couldn’t make it a boy’s cut, but he cut it as short as he could without his parents getting angry. He tried acting more like a boy, attempting to deepen his voice and get by wearing boy’s clothing. But he never found anyone who supported him. Instead he got rocks kicked at him and called slurs. Was he just..weird? Was this not a normal thought process..? If him being a boy caused this..then he wasn’t sure what to do. He hated being a girl with a passion, but nobody saw him as a real boy. Gone was the child who would kick and cry, instead covered with a wall of shyness. Because if he spoke too much or about the wrong things, he would get ridiculed. It was better to just shut up and deal with it, even if at every moment he was scared for his own life. He had dealt with jockeying, and now he was going to Hope’s Peak Academy as the Ultimate Jockey. He hated it, but there was nothing he could do to escape his fate.

Nico -> Arturo: Nico had always been the soft-spoken sibling. They had an older brother, a measly year older than him. While Nico struggled to speak with people, their brother made connections easily. They often felt somewhat jealous. But, animals were easier to tend to. (And the somewhat funny part was that their brother was horrible with animals.) With animals, they didn’t have to deal with strange human customs. But even if Nico was horrible with people, their brother still made the time to hang out with them. They didn’t understand why he was so kind. Still, he supported them endlessly. Maybe that was why they let him drag them around, and maybe that was why it was him that they confided in about their troubles having to do with their gender identity instead of their parents. And yet, their brother was endlessly supportive about it, telling Nico to always be proud of their identity and to never let anyone stomp all over them. Nico was somewhat flustered, but attempted to agree. And they tried. They really tried. It was terribly hard though. The peak of their struggles however was when they asked their brother to pick something up from the pet store. It took four hours until Nico knew what became of their brother. A car crash. Nico was horrified, and didn’t even get to the hospital in time in order to hear their brother’s final words. Nico was grief-stricken. The one person who seemed to love them, without any ulterior motives or out of any obligation, was now gone. But Nico remembered his words, and they were going to follow them. They still disliked people, hated them even, but Nico got by. They helped people with their animals, and they corrected people when they used he/him for them. They were going to take their brother’s words to heart, because it would be disrespectful to ignore his words to them. Eventually, Hope’s Peak Academy recognized them, and invited them to be the Ultimate Pet Therapist. It was a job Nico loved..and so they accepted, taking on the title.

David -> Charles: Mostly, it was David’s older sister, Diana, who had taken care of him. Their parents were busy a lot, and when they weren’t, Diana still felt as though she had to take responsibility over him. A lot of the time, Diana was somewhat overbearing, doing a lot of things for him (which is why he doesn’t really know how to cook his own food, besides simple things.) It wasn’t as if Diana was the perfect older sibling. She sometimes took up smoking in order to cope. When Diana ended up suddenly dying, David’s mind couldn’t process it. His older sister–the one that had taken care of him. In order to protect David, his mind erased any moment with Diana ever, and even her entire existence. Diana Chiem was no longer somebody in David’s life. He started his career in motivational speaking, because something about it felt familiar. He hated it, finding it hypocritical of him to do such a thing, but maybe if he kept doing it then he’d find out what exactly about it feels so familiar, like a word on the tip of his tongue that he couldn’t quite say yet. (Though, honestly, he was this close to quitting. He hated his job. With a passion.)

Charles -> J: Charles and his older brother of a couple years were both the children of a famous couple. Elliot was better with publicity stunts played by their parents, but Charles preferred being in the background rather than the spotlight. But of course, Charles was forced to interact with exhausting paparazzi. He often got embarrassed at the amount of attention, but ..he knew that it wasn’t real. He was just another face in the crowd, a side accessory to make his parents look better. So he decided to study the sciences. He wanted to bury himself in studying so that he wouldn’t have to face the cameras. Elliot, being the person that he was, supported Charles wholeheartedly even if he had wanted to follow in the footsteps of their parents. Charles was endlessly thankful for Elliot’s understanding, since their mother was a little less understanding. Their father seemed a little on the fence about it, but accepted Charles doing this. And so, his work paid off. The public forgot the name of Charles Cuevas, and Hope’s Peak Academy sought him out to be the Ultimate Chemist. He accepted, prepared to step away from the publicity of a job such as his parents’.

Levi -> Xander: Younger siblings, a father, and a mother. Levi attempted to be a good son, and a good older brother, mostly out of obligation rather than true affection. But he supposed some part of him was codependent on them, so that he could have something to do with his life. Everything else wasn’t truly needed, so having something that Levi would have to do–that was grounding. His family was nice to him, encouraging him to follow in his dreams. Levi didn’t have any dreams to follow, but he simply smiled and nodded. Once whilst Levi was out on a school trip, his family had gotten into a horrible accident. It must’ve been horrible to die in such a way. And yet Levi couldn’t feel any emotions bubbling up to the surface. There were no tears, and there was no grief. His life felt emptier, though this could just be fixed by being more helpful to other people, to trying to become a better person. Not that he had a want for it, but simply a need to have to do something like he had once done for his family. Sometime after his family’s death, he had gotten in fashion and..a new Ultimate Personal Stylist was born.

Hu -> Rose: Hu’s family was never exactly super rich. Coming to a different country for an opportunity hadn’t seemed to work out for them. Hu wanted to help, she desperately wanted to make a difference for them, and yet it seemed that it was practically impossible for her. There was only one time in which it felt as if she didn’t have any worries hanging over her head, which was whenever she was playing music. The zither was her passion. Even if she could play other things, playing the zither was just simply more calming to her. And with this love, came an idea. Hu started playing on the streets, wanting to gather any extra money that she could for her parents. And people saw her–and she knew that she was great. Eventually, XF-Ture sought her out, saying that she was great. They would even work with her in order to release her music, which could gather even more money for her parents, but only on the condition that none of the music she produced would be her own. She agreed, only to make sure that her family wasn’t anywhere near poor, because she loved them so much that she wanted to be able to help them in any way that she could. And so she produced, and so Hope’s Peak Academy reached out to her to become the Ultimate Zither Player. And so, that is what she became. Her music..she wished it was hers, but in the end she wanted to be able to help out her parents even more. And so that was the way things went.

Veronika -> Eden: Veronika was a ‘normal’ girl. She talked with her classmates, hung out with them, and did her best to be regular. Even if she wasn’t–even if she liked horror a little too much. She was happy with how her life was. But then she ended up kissing her best friend. And that apparently was disgusting–her pure love for her best friend, that she’s known for so long. Apparently that was ‘wrong’. And Veronika didn’t get it–she didn’t get why love was something to be feared. She loved her best friend, and she loved horror. So she decided that she would cloak herself in her love. She would dive deeper into her love of horror, sharing it freely.  

Eden -> Ace: Eden was apart of a large family, having nine siblings along with two parents. Being in the middle, she didn’t exactly gain as much attention from her parents as some of her other siblings. As such, she was able to do what she wanted. Despite her parents having money, she still worked a number of small miscellaneous jobs in order to get a little bit of cash in order to have some money to herself along with something to do for herself. The most life-changing for her, however, was an old man running a small antique shop. Her job was to fix and clean some items, and she had learned of her love for clockmaking. Eden had learned that she was quite good at it, and that she really liked it as well. She felt herself brighten, that same youthful optimism from her youth shining back to the surface. The man realized this as well, and offered her a permanent job instead of simply a part-time job over the weekends. Overwhelmed with emotion, Eden accepted and took on her job with him with even more enthusiasm than before. She had a love now. Even if she wasn’t sure if this love would be permanent, even if she didn’t know whether she’d have to let go of this, she was happy. And eventually, Hope’s Peak Academy ended up noticing her talent, offering her a spot within their walls. Eden joyfully accepted, happy with her new talent. She felt happy, as if for once her life would actually amount to something.

Arturo -> Hu: Arturo had a younger sister that he mostly had to take care of due to his parents not understanding her struggles with social anxiety. That piled on with the fact that he was studying to be a plastic surgeon was overwhelming to him. Often, negative thoughts would cloud his mind, even going as far to even push him to attempt (thrice). But when Felicity ended up committing (successfully) when Arturo was sixteen, when she was around twelve, that sort of opened his eyes. He started to force himself to look forward in life, to actually go through with his studying and practice to being a plastic surgeon. Not just a plastic surgeon, the Ultimate Plastic Surgeon. Because he wanted to live both himself and Felicity. He needed to get better in order to honour her life, because it was lost so quickly. Arturo ended up gaining an unhealthy mindset about those unattractive due to his talent and how much he dedicated himself to this Ultimate of his. He does, however, find himself acting a little better towards those reminding him somewhat of Felicity. Sometimes these acts get a little unhealthy, wanting to save somebody the way that he couldn’t save his younger sister. Arturo is very much aware that this behaviour isn’t very good for him, though he doesn’t possess much care about that. 

J -> Teruko: J’s parents were apart of a scandal which caused them to get jail time when she was around thirteen. Before that, they were simple actors who mostly got somewhat small roles. J, not wanting to go to a foster home, took Ryan and tried couch-hopping with acquaintances of their parents. Eventually, one of them suggested that they take Ryan and J onto the set, because they weren’t comfortable with leaving the children alone. Ryan and J accepted, and one of the backstage people let Ryan and J play around with effects when they weren’t filming. They saw that J was really good, and Ryan was pretty decent. And so what was just another couch-hopping became a true home, in which J and Ryan became sort of ‘apprentices’. Eventually, J got so good that she got the Ultimate of Effects Artist. For once, she had a permanent home–and now she had to leave in order to go to Hope’s Peak Academy. But, she needed to take this opportunity, so that she could take Ryan and provide for him, so that they could have a real stable home. 

Whit -> Arei: Whit’s father had never been truly there, always on business trips and such. In his household instead were his two other brothers, twins, along with his mother. Whit loved his mother dearly, even going to the lengths to dye his hair to make it look more like her. But one day, whilst their father was actually home, surprisingly, she had gotten into a car crash. Of course, everyone was grief-stricken, especially when they heard the news of her passing, but Whit especially. The twins usually stayed close to each other, while his father tended to close in on himself. This left Whit alone to grieve. His father was in bad shape, stopping the business trips and yet never really getting closer to his children. As he entered high school, he still felt terrible. His older brothers seemed to use the coping mechanism of acting as if they were better than anyone else. Them and Whit’s relationship went from the sweet younger sibling and slightly mischievous older brothers into something that was more akin to bully and victim. At first it was just small teasing that got on Whit’s nerves, but it quickly spiraled into terrible things. His grief for his mother ended up morphing into anger at his siblings, and that they would do something so cruel to get over her. Somehow, his breaking point wasn’t when they had forcefully cut his hair or made a fool of him in front of his whole class. No, the breaking point was when they stole his hair dye, and the money he saved up to make sure he could get new dye when it ran out. He snapped at them, because that was what kept him looking like his mother. After him snapping, the twins became even more malicious. So..Whit did what he had to do, to make sure that he would never see them again. While his mother was alive, he was naive and wanted the best for everyone. But now he saw something such as that was pointless. So he curled his lips up into a smirk and donned his new Ultimate Matchmaker talent. Maybe he was acting a little like his older brothers when he teased others relentlessly , but Whit was better than that. After all, he was just trying to survive in this cruel world like everyone else.

Rose -> Whit: Rose loves her family. There is so much love inside of her for her two siblings, and for her mothers. Rose always thought that Holly, one of her mothers, in particular, was really pretty. Even with dried tears and an expression of terror, Rose still thought she looked gorgeous. It pained Rose to think about, but the look of her corpse stained her dreams. She drew, in order to pretend that their first mother was still there. Because despite her picture perfect memory, she didn’t want to believe in what she saw. She used art to cope, in order to pretend for just a second that she was still alive and that there wasn’t an obvious crack in their family dynamic. And with the loss of a parental figure came a loss of income. They were starting to struggle, being a family of four. Rose started her illegal talent, wanting to be able to do something for the family that she loved so much. And it worked for a while. What surprised Rose the most though was Hope’s Peak Academy sending her an invitation to come to the school if she stopped doing her illegal arts. And so, she accepted. Because if she graduated Hope’s Peak Academy, then she could go work somewhere meaningful–where her pay would be high. She’d be able to provide. 

[neteyamssock]

Not so bad, after all.

╰┈➤ PART VI.

pairing: agedup!Neteyam x Fem!Metkayina!Reader

summary: when neteyam and you met each other for the first time, they were overwhelmed with feelings they have never felt before.

word count: 2.5k

tags: violence, fighting, crying... (idk what else, please tell me if I left something out!)

a/n: unedited! rough draft straight from gdocs. i promise i'll revise this series once i finish it huhu. feedbacks is very much appreciated! thank you very much 😘💜

text divider credits to @/enchanthings

masterlist

part v | part vii (end)

It was one bright morning when you visited Ronal’s marui, seeking her out. Although the older woman was surprised that you were actively seeking her, she didn’t think too much about it and let you in. The tsahik and olo-eyktan’s marui is the largest marui in awa’atlu, the most intricate and grand, with decorations that represents the couple’s authority in the clan. You roamed your eyes inside and remembered how aonung would often say that once the two of you mated, he’d build one bigger than his parents’ marui.

Your stomach flipped at the thought. You know he doesn’t love you, but unlike you, he’s ready to settle if it means his parents would be happy.

“Why look for me, girl? Is there a bottleneck in your learning?” She beckoned you to sit in front of her, busying herself with her weaving. You didn’t fail to notice the changes in her stomach. The babe in her womb is growing, and its beginning to show in her body.

Noticing your gaze, a small smile graced her lips fleetingly before returning to her usual stoic expression. Caressing her stomach, she good-naturedly said. “You’re also going to experience pregnancy when you mate with my son. So it is good that you’re taking observations.”

You felt your throat getting blocked as you fidgeted, feeling of dread overturning your previous calm thoughts. When you didn’t respond as optimistic as she expected, Ronal’s eyes narrowed. “Why show such a look? Are you perhaps against the idea of getting pregnant right after mating? That’s fine. Both you and aonung are still young—”

“It’s not because of that, Tsahik…” you forced yourself to speak up, afraid of meeting her gaze. You saw her finally put down what she was weaving and looked at you with a scrutinizing gaze. You can feel her sharps dissecting you, trying to see through you.

“Then what? Speak up. Perhaps I could give you some solutions for whatever’s bothering you. This must be the reason you sought me out, am I right?”

You bite on your lip so hard it hurts. Your hand was clenched tight, you wanted to flee. Your resolve is crumbling bit by bit. It’s no secret that you are afraid of the Tsahik. You knew her ability, and knew what she could do. For a moment you considered backing out, but Neteyam’s face appeared in your mind, reminding you what you must do.

And you must do it now. Now, or never.

You never wanted to mate with Aonung. From the moment you learned how to think, you just saw him as a brother. It never once crossed your mind that you’d mate with him, even when your grandfather arranged you with him. Instead of facing the truth, you pretended the arrangement wasn’t real and cowardly hoped everyone would change their mind. Everyone seemed content with it, it was only you who cannot accept it.

“...I came here to express my desire to break my arrangement with Aon—”

“PREPOSTEROUS!” 

BANG!

A small stone jar broke into several pieces in front of you. One grazed your cheek, causing it to bleed. It stings, but perhaps the pain in your heart was a lot stronger. You closed your eyes when Ronal pulled you to stand up roughly.

“What are you saying now, child?! Have you lost your mind?! You cannot easily dismiss an arrangement you worked hard for so many years!”

Before you can even reply, she pushes you roughly, making you stumble a few steps back. You can no longer control your tears as the Olo-eyktan, Aonung, and Tsireya came charging in the marui.

“What is causing all these commotions, Tsahik?” With a loud thunderous voice, the olo-eyktan questioned. At this moment, everyone noticed the commotion and was watching with confused eyes. Aonung and Tsireya were looking at you and Ronal back and forth, trying to decipher what could have led to these confrontations. You cannot look them in the eye, feeling ashamed.

Ronal sneered and pointed at you, voice shrill as she said. “This foolish girl wants to break her arrangement with Aonung! An arrangement approved by great mother Eywa!”

You can hear gasps and murmurs of your clansmen, looking at you with unapproving eyes. You almost wanted to laugh. Eywa’s will? No. The great mother would not be so cruel. You are also her child, she would not force you in a loveless arrangement, would she?

In your peripherals you can see Aonung bowing his head, clenching his hands into fist. You cannot see the expression he’s making, but you know he’s furious. At you, maybe. Tsireya was trying her best to not cry, looking at you with a sympathetic gaze. It makes you feel better, giving you air to breathe. You avoided her gaze and looked back at Ronal and Tonowari with defiant eyes, even more resolute in your decision.

“Is this true, ____?” Tonowari’s jaw tightened, his gaze held disappointment and disapproval.

“Yes, Olo-eyktan. That is true.” You were surprised at how calm your voice is, the conviction in it so palpable as if you have finally found your voice after all those years of being mute.

Tonowari closed his eyes, trying to control his temper while Ronal got even more furious. “Girl, it would do you well to remember that it was your grandfather who begged us for this arrangement! How ridiculous of you to throw all that away for your nonsensical whims!”

You understand Ronal’s anger. Of course she’d be furious, all those years of preparing you to be the next Tsahik would be put to waste, and she’d start all over again. But you’re done with always thinking about others. Of putting everyone’s happiness before yours. At least at this moment, you want to be selfish. You want to choose yourself, even if it means hurting others and yourself in the process.

“Indeed, it was my grandfather who begged for this arrangement. All he wants is to make me happy, but I am not happy, Tsahik. I have finally gained confidence to say that this is not the path for me, and Eywa can bear witness. All those years I remained silent, but I can no longer do that. Not when—”

“It’s Neteyam, isn’t it? You wanted to break the arrangement because you have fallen for an outsider!”

You froze, staring wide-eyed at Aonung as he did the worst thing he could ever do in this situation. Bringing up Neteyam. You knew things would get far more complicated once Neteyam got caught in the issue. All this time you’re treading carefully, hoping not to get Neteyam involved, but Aonung just has to ruin it for you.

“That’s not—” 

“I’ll kill him!” Aonung ruthlessly pushed Tsireya away when she tried stopping him. As you were about to run after him, Tonwari pinned you at your place with just his gaze. You could only shoot Tsireya a begging look before standing back in place. Tsireya shot you a small supportive smile before running after aonung.

“You have fallen for the Sully boy? Don’t try to lie, child. I have watched you grow up, like you’re my own child. So you must tell us the truth.”

“ABSURD! I knew taking in that fam—”

“Tsahik you must calm down, you are with a child.”

Ronal scoffed, turning around in anger. She refused to look at you. Perhaps too disappointed to even spare you a glance. 

You have no choice but to admit it. “Yes. I wish to be with Neteyam, but it is not the only reason why I want to dismiss the arrangement. I do not see Aonung as anything more than a brother. It would be unfair for Aonung if I force myself into this arrangement without my heart in it.”

“My son is will be an excellent man, I'm sure you'll learn to adore him when he becomes a man. You—”

“My decision is final. Begging the Olo-eyktan and Tsahik to consider my plea.”

Tonowari regarded you with a searching gaze. He had always known you as silent, reserved, and obedient. Someone who would immediately follow orders in silence. At this moment, he’s seeing you in a new light. Seeing your determination and sincerity, he waved his hand. “Are you certain of this, _____? Once you let go, you can never get it back.”

You smiled, appreciating Tonowari’s care for you, but you don’t want to go back. Not when freedom is near, almost within your grasp. “I am certain, Olo-eyktan. I will stand by my choice until the end.”

Ronal sneered at your words, glancing at Tonowari, telling him to wake you up from your delusions, but Tonowari avoided her gaze. Instead, he said to you, “I’ll give you an answer soon, but you must tell your grandfather of your plan yourself.”

“Tonowari!” Ronal shrieked, but Tonowari only motioned you to leave as he said. “Leave us, I’ll talk to the Tsahik.”

So you did. With your heart singing in joy, you ran towards Neteyam’s marui, only for your excitement to turn into horror as you saw Aonung being held back by others and Neteyam standing in front of him with bleeding lips.

“You!” Aonung’s furious shout immediately caught everyone’s attention. He was heaving, anger so palpable that everyone quickly backed away from him, afraid of attracting his ire.

Neteyam was standing in front of their marui when he saw Aonung charging at him with a furious expression. His eyes narrowed and was about to ask what’s his problem when Aonung approached him and...

SMACK!

“Woah woah woah! What are you doing?!?”

Jake immediately pulled Neteyam behind his back as Neteyam’s ears buzzed, cheek and the corner of his lips stinging. Aonung had slapped him hard enough for his head to turn. Hearing the commotion, Neytiri, Kiri, Lo’ak and Tuk had also emerged from the marui, standing behind Jake and Neteyam with sharp eyes. Seeing Neteyam’s bloodied lips, Neytiri hissed at Aonung. 

“You fish  lips! How dare you hurt my brother!” Lo’ak angrily shouted, planning to teach Aonung another lesson when Neteyam pulled him back. Although unwilling, Lo’ak shook his head and glared at Aonung as he stepped back. 

Neteyam gave his mother a glance, telling her he’s fine and he can handle it. Although worried, Neytiri took a step back and took Kiri and Tuk’s hand into hers,  allowing Jake and Neteyam to take control of the situation. 

It is clear to Neteyam what that slap meant. The reason why Aonung is so mad at him, as if ready to murder him any second. It was your face that appeared in Neteyam’s mind, your promise to him in your secret place. He closed his eyes and let out a laugh, joy filling his heart instead of anger. The pain in his cheek faded. It’s all worth it, because Aonung’s presence here only means you have made your move and fulfilled your promise to him. 

Neteyam’s laughter seems to provoke Aonung as he begins cursing, trying to hit Neteyam. Jake on the other hand looked at his oldest son, incredulous. Did he just laugh after getting slapped?

“This is between me and your son, Toruk Makto! He must fight me!”

“Dad, let me handle this. This is something I must do.”

Jake’s jaw tightened, when Neteyam motioned for him to step back, he hesitated. Neteyam had to urge him again before he stepped away, still worried about Neteyam. 

Neteyam stood face to face with Aonung, chin held high as he regarded that other man, not afraid to meet his furious eyes. “Let’s talk, brother.”

“I am not your brother!” Aonung hissed as he delivered another slap, but Neteyam dodged it easily. Seeing him unscathed, Aonung launched another hit but Tsireya had also arrived, pulling Aonung back with all her strength. “Aonung, stop! You must not resort to violence!”

“Let go sister! I must teach this kurkung a lesson!”

Tsireya cried out when Aonung accidentally elbowed her. Lo’ak seeing his girl being hurt, almost went forward again, but was glared at by his mother. Seeing Tsireya struggling, their clansmen finally regained their senses and held the flailing metkayina successor. Aonung hissed angrily at his captors, regretting that he lost focus a moment for hurting his beloved sister.

Finally held down, Aonung was no longer flailing as hard as before, but was still glaring daggers at Neteyam. The latter merely wiped his lips with his hand, not caring about the sting, seemingly in cloud nine.

“Tell us boy, what is the reason for your anger? What did my son do to get such a reaction from you?” Neytiri’s ears were pinned back, tail swishing side by side. She's displeased that her son got hurt when they didn't even have a clear idea of what warranted that slap. 

Aonung huffed, pointing at Neteyam with a vicious snarl. “He stole my mate! He stole ______ from me!”

Silence. For a moment, the breeze and the waves are the only noises that can be heard, before everyone breaks into a myriad of reactions. Jake closed his eyes as he groaned, feeling a headache coming. Neytiri merely sighed, having been aware of her son’s relations with you. Kiri muttered up a few “what the fuck”, Lo’ak nudging his brother with a triumphant grin, and Tuk who looked a bit confused.

Neteyam cleared his throat. “Aonung, calm down and listen to me. She’s not your mate yet. You haven’t made tsaheylu before Eywa. She also told me that you do not desire each other, and are merely fulfilling your duties to the clan. Now that she wants to dismiss the arrangement, you must respect her ideas. Whether it's me, or any other man, you must allow her to choose.”

Aonung sneered,  shaking his head as he started laughing uncontrollably. Tears began falling from his eyes as he stared at the sky. Whispering he said, “What does she even know about what I feel for her? She knows nothing! You hear me? She knows nothing!”

At this moment, Neteyam’s chest tightened. A sense of foreboding from the depths of his mind. His doubts that he tried to deny began surfacing again. “What do you mean by that?”

Before Aonung could say anything, you came running towards Neteyam’s side, shaking as you examined him all over. When you saw the bruise on his face, the tears you have been trying to control fell freely. Pain eroded your heart as traced his wounds with your fingers.

Seeing you, the panic in Neteyam's heart settled. He held you close in relief as he said, “I’m fine, ocean girl. Do not cry, for it makes me want to cry too. Shush, I’m fine.”

Looking at his solemn eyes, you nodded and took a deep breath. You wiped your tears and turned towards Aonung. He wasn’t looking at you, tears still falling from his eyes. It hurts you to see him like this, for Aonung has never shed tears all his life. You hurt him. You betrayed his trust, broke the promise the two of you made. 

But it must be done.

Walking towards him, you took his hands and held them tightly. It made him look at you, but you cannot read his eyes. “Aonung, I know what I did is something that cannot be easily forgiven. I threw all the grace that you and your family had given me, but I know in my heart that I do not regret what I did, and will never regret it for the rest of my life. I just want you to understand.”

He stared at you for a long while, taking in your features. You looked at him with pleading eyes, hoping he’d understand where you are coming from. 

“You’re so selfish, ______.”

“I’m sorry, Aonung. I truly am.”

“I do not need your apologies, _______. A broken trust cannot be mended by simple apologies.”

Wrenching his hands from your grasp, he pushed everyone away, not once does he ever look back. You stared at his back and sobbed as Neteyam took you in his arms silently, warm hands cupping your face as he wiped your tears with his thumbs.

“Hush now, ocean girl. We're still far from being done. You still have to face my family.” He teased, smiling at you as he pressed a kiss on your forehead. 

“Shut up, skxawng. I’m having a moment and you ruined it.”

Laughing, he shrugged. “I can’t just watch a pretty girl cry y’know? Makes me want to cry too.”

A/N: screaming crying punching kicking— ahhhhh last chapter remaining! this series has a lot of holes i have to mend after i finish the last chapter. but it's a rough draft so it's expected. anyways, feedback is very much appreciated! thank you very much, mwah!

[kazoosandfannypacks]

summary: ezra bridger has been following online microcelebrity spectre_pheonix for years. although her online identity is shrouded in mystery, he may be closer to her than he realizes. word count: 7309 (7974 counting alt text)  co-authorship note: the video game sequences featured in this fic were written by my co-author, shadow-ninja-13, who also helped me figure out a few plot things and what video games to include where. he's also my teenage brother, known by some on this site as skyguy, and he's the coolest kid on the planet!a/n: After so, so, so much time working on this fic and talking it up IT'S FINALLY FINISHED!!! Shoutout to my tumblr follows for helping me out with a couple ideas in this fic! Some of this fic is told in embedded images. I have added alt text, so it should be accessible via screenreader as well. I can probably make a pdf copy of a full plaintext version of the story available if anyone needs it! taglist: @laughingphoenixleader@accidental-spice@kanerallels  @piraterefrigerator @jedi-nurse@dootchster  @lucasbridger@redroverrider  @light-umbra   @commander-tech  @jedimandalorian@notanodinarygirl  {if you’d like to be added to or removed from my Sabezra taglist, let me know!}

also on ao3!

need a player 2?

 No, that definitely sounded insincere.

 Ezra backspaced the message he'd typed into the livestream chat, then typed something else.

 Duh. Too obvious. Try again.

 Perfect.

 Ezra hit the send button and waited for a response. It was very rare that spectre_pheonix responded to any of the hundreds of thousands of comments she'd get on her streams, but that didn't stop Ezra from hoping.

 Ezra watched as the player found the Warthog, and perfectly drove, splattering the Aliens that got in her way. Nearby there was a small opening, he watched the player take the truck through, by driving on the stone wall. If she flipped, it’d be all over. If not, she’d be more awesome than usual. The landing was about to happen, the anxiety was building,  and then… a hand got in between him and the phone, blocking his view entirely.

 "Hey," Ezra said, pulling his headphone off of one ear so he could yell at his roommate, whose hand covered his phone.

 "Hey yourself," Jai said, "we gotta get going; we're gonna be late."

 Ezra hadn't looked at a clock since the stream had started, which was apparently three hours ago. Somehow it was already fifteen minutes before the dining hall stopped serving dinner, and it was at least a ten minute walk down that way.

 "Shoot," Ezra sprang to his feet, "I must've lost track of time again."

 "Because you were watching that gamer girl?" Jai asked, leaning on the doorframe.

 "Maybe," Ezra said, as he reached for the nearest matching pair of shoes he could stuff his feet into.

 "What's so interesting about watching someone game, anyways?" Jai asked.

 "I think it's about loyalty now more than anything," Ezra said, "I've been watching her stream since before she became popular. It just wouldn't be right if I didn't watch her gaming sessions, especially when it's a game I love. Besides, she just has this way about her. She's so cool, so collected, so…."

 "....hot?" Jai attempted to finish for him with a smile.

 "I wouldn't know," Ezra said, "she's very good about keeping her personal life personal. I've never seen her face. No one has."

 "So she's a mystery girl."

 "She's just like any other celebrity," Ezra defended.

 "So you mean she'd be way out of your league even if you knew who she was?" Jai asked.

 "More like I haven't even considered it," Ezra said, "I'm one of millions of fans."

 "Isn't her follower count only…"

 "Enough talking," Ezra said, pulling Jai out the door of their dorm room, "I heard a rumor it's pizza night in the dining hall."

 And with that, both boys were off on a new quest: Obtain Pizza.

💜.🎮.🧡

 "I wonder how they'd react if they knew who was in the room with them," Sabine thought, sitting alone with her sketchbook in a corner of her college's student center.

 Across the room, a group of boys were having a heated discussion over their game of Smash Bros. She didn't try to eavesdrop, but she'd always been aware of the world around her, and definitely heard the words "spectre" "phoenix" and "most influential gamer of our generation." 

 "You must be trippin'," one of them said, "her 'let's plays' are nothing more than a halfhearted follower grab."

 "Oh, like you'd know," another said, "your youtube channel has, what, seventeen followers? Oh, and you just came in last place, again."

 Sabine looked back up at their game to see that the fourth-place gamer had been playing as Bowser, then watched Diddy Kong deal a crippling blow on Captain Falcon.

 Then, she glanced at the players, all of them laughing and roasting each other. One wore a t-shirt that said "official spectre spectator," and another had a hat on backwards with spectre_pheonix's logo on it. Sabine would recognize that merch anywhere— after all, she was the one who designed it— as merch for her own shop, and she couldn't say she was disappointed by how much praise its wearers spoke of her with.

 "If only they knew who I was," Sabine thought, but she quickly reminded herself she was glad they didn't. Though she was thankful for her followers and their merch money paying her tuition, she wasn't prepared to have toxic dudebros hounding her everywhere she went. And once word got out at college that she was spectre_pheonix, there would go any sense of normalcy she had. Besides, if word about it slipped back home to her parents, she'd be deeper trouble than she already was.

 So before she could do something regrettable and talk to them, she packed up her stuff and moved to a different study spot.

💜.🎮.🧡

    The Flood surrounded her. In an unexpected turn of events, the creepiest enemy in the entire Halo saga had been introduced. She fired her assault rifle at the hoards of Flood crawling on the ground. The salvo was effective, but costly. She had forty rounds plus one full clip, but that wouldn’t be enough. As she walked the character up some stairs, she found allies, and promptly borrowed their ammo. At the end of the swamp, she encountered the monitor, and watched the cutscene at the end of 343 Guilty Spark.

  "Sorry guys, gotta stop the stream for the night," Sabine said, "it's well past midnight here, and I've got an eight a.m. class."

 She watched the comment section flare up with responses. 

💜.🎮.🧡

 Ezra stumbled into class a couple minutes late, but he was sure his professor would understand. It wasn't his fault that spectre_pheonix had been streaming late last night, right? As long as he quietly slipped into the back of the classroom, no one would notice anyways.

 "Mr. Bridger," Professor Syndulla called to him as he tried in vain to hide his late entry, "so glad you've decided to join us this morning."

 Ezra turned around and tried to hide his guilty expression.

 "Of course, ma'am," Ezra said, with a dramatic salute, "I'd never miss out on one of my favorite teacher's classes."

 "Flattery gets you nowhere in my class," the professor said, "take a seat, and we'll continue."

 "Yes ma'am," Ezra said. He took a seat as close to the back of the room as he could and pulled out his laptop to take notes.

 Ezra tried his best to pay attention, but the lack of sleep was getting the better of him as Professor Syndulla's lesson dragged on.

 "Maybe I could get dad to sit in on class and take notes for me sometime," Ezra thought, "he could listen to her talk for hours."

 It was, admittedly, a little weird that his adoptive father was dating his psychology professor, but at least her letter of recommendation helped him get into this school— on the condition that he "applied himself diligently to his studies" and didn't "discredit her influence by trying to coast on it" and all that other stuff they'd told him when she'd suggested he attend Atollon Alliance University.

 "But I'm definitely not 'diligently applying myself' if I fall asleep in class," Ezra thought, the notes document before him blurring before his eyes, "and I need to do something to stay awake."

 So, he turned to the one thing he'd never be able to sleep through— one of the many videos in his "watch later" tab on youtube. After double checking to make sure his laptop's sound was off and muted— you could never be too careful— he clicked a video titled "spectre_pehonix's top FIFTY EPIC saves!!!" and watched along as he listened to Professor Syndulla's lesson, finding that all that boring stuff about psychology was a lot more interesting when he also had spectre_phonix’s abilities with some grenades against Wraiths, Hunters, and Banshees to focus on.

💜.🎮.🧡

 Class wasn't the only time Ezra used gaming videos to focus. He'd never been one for focusing on one task at a time, and usually found that if he sat down to study, he'd end up pulling out his phone and watching videos on YouTube anyways, and that it was better in the long run to start out with some gaming recap video in the background— except on days when spectre_pheonix was streaming during his study sessions, of course, and he'd watch it live, streaming Twitch in one window on his computer and whatever essay he was nearing the deadline on in the other.

 Today, for example, he had her stream of Halo in the background of a rousing essay of the themes and morals of The Octopus.

 The clock was ticking. 4:23 seconds left to go. The clock only counted down. She drove the Warthog through the groups of retreating Aliens and Flood. 4:07 seconds left to go by this point. She was told to stop, but she knew that that evac point wouldn’t help her. She’d played before, and she knew that the evacuation Pelican was shot down. She kept on driving. At max speed she used an odd floor detailing as a ramp, and jumped a whole group. The stress and tension of the final level made normal players stressed, but not Sabine. 2:25 left on the clock. The point was only about one kilometer away. She kept going, and going, and going. Nothing could stop her now. 1:22 left on the clock, she was within one kilometer away. She would make it! Unless she flipped by mistake. :44 seconds and counting! She saw the Pelican, and started running. She could take the Warthog no farther. She jumped in the Pelican at the last second. Barely beating Halo: Combat Evolved.

 "It's like my teacher always says," spectre_pheonix said, "when things are at their worst, I feel like I'm at my best."

 Ezra had only been half focusing, but this statement warranted his full attention. It wasn't as though the statement was profound or original— in fact, he'd heard it before. Abandoning his book report for the moment, Ezra expanded the Twitch tab across his whole screen, and ran it back ten seconds, thinking maybe his brain was playing some cruel trick on him.

 "When things are at their worst, I feel like I'm at my best."

 "That's exactly what Professor Syndulla said in psych class today." Ezra thought, "Is spectre_pheonix in my psychology class? Does she go to Attalon Alliance University too? No, that's crazy. Isn't it?"

 His thoughts soon became a cluttered and jumbled mess, so he pulled out a notebook, flipped to random blank page, and after forty-seven minutes had constructed a list that looked something like this:

 His results were inconclusive, but he suddenly remembered the book report due in less than an hour, and the two-thousand seventy-three words short he was from the word count.

 💜.🎮.🧡

 The last decade or so had gone pretty much exactly as Hera had planned. After realizing how important it was to her to help guide young people to their place in the world, she'd set her sights on a philosophy PHD so she could teach at Attalon Alliance University. She'd graduated with honors, and soon began teaching, and it was just as fulfilling as she'd planned it would be.

 But what she hadn't considered in her plans was falling in love. When she was in college, she'd been too focused on her studies, and later on her duties as an RA in her dorm, to even consider pursuing a relationship, and by then, well, she figured there weren't a lot of single men in their late twenties interested in dating philosophy professors, so she poured herself into her work instead, and building good connections with her students as much as she could.

 But, apparently, she hadn't been entirely correct in her assessment of her prospects. There was, apparently, at least one single man in his late twenties interested in dating philosophy professors— a man by the name of Kanan Jarrus, one who'd figured there weren't a lot of single women in their late twenties interested in dating the kind of guy who'd adopted an eight year old at the age of twenty-one and now had a sixteen year-old son who spent most of his time either playing video games or watching other people play them.

 Hera had met Kanan in a chance run-in at a Wisconsin cheese festival, and though there was no denying the spark between them, it took a couple more chance run-ins before she'd agreed to a date. Their relationship progressed slowly, with Hera's career and Kanan's delicate balance of providing for and raising his son, but they'd had more time to see each other over the past year, since his son had enrolled at Attalon Alliance University.

 "Morning, Professor Syndulla," Ezra grinned, walking into class one morning.

 Though all of Hera's students may as well have been her children, she had a special fondness for that one— and took extra caution to make sure she didn't give him special treatment. Though he hadn't fathered Ezra, Kanan's influence on his life was evident through his actions. Ezra shared a lot of mannerisms with his dad, including an answer or an excuse always at the ready, and a charming smile he seemed to think would absolve himself of guilt. However, there were a lot of qualities they didn't share, and one of them was Ezra's propensity to be late.

 It was this propensity for lateness that made Hera do a double-take. Class wouldn't start for another five minutes, and Ezra was here, in class, early.

 "Good morning, Mr. Bridger," Hera said, "is there any particular reason you've shown up on time this morning?"

 "Maybe I'm finally taking this whole 'education' thing seriously?" Ezra suggested.

 "Mhmm," Hera nodded, "and maybe a certain gamer wasn't streaming last night."

 "Well, there's that too," Ezra rolled his eyes and headed for his usual seat, towards the back of the classroom.

 She watched as the rest of the students made their way into the classroom, and another one caught her attention, and not just because of her brightly colored hair.

 "Miss Wren," Hera said, "I enjoyed reading your paper last night."

 "Thanks, Professor Syndulla."

 That was the entirety of their interaction, but Hera could tell by the smile on her student's face that she had taken it to heart. One time during Sabine Wren's first semester, Professor Syndulla had complimented something she said in class, and from the expression on her face, Hera could tell that kind of positive affirmation was foreign to Sabine— and she made it her personal mission to make sure it wasn't foreign to her anymore. Though their conversations rarely went further than a compliment on the student's hard work and a thank you for the professor, Hera could tell that Sabine appreciated it, in her own way.

💜.🎮.🧡

 Ezra had had his own reasons for coming into class on time, and not just to improve his education. He hadn't abandoned his spectre search (or "wild ghost chase," as Jai had called it when Ezra explained it to him,) and his biggest evidence pointed to this class. Maybe if he actually showed up on time, he could get to know his classmates well enough to find out if one of them was her. Instead of listening to her in his headphones as their professor taught, he listened for her in his classroom as their professor took the students' questions, which didn't increase his focus on the lesson at all, but it did give him something to do in class other than watch YouTube recaps and pretend to be taking notes, so it was a nice change of pace.

 After class, he hung around a little longer than normal, standing by one of the classroom doorways to see what he could overhear.

 When only a few students remained in the classroom, Professor Syndulla approached him.

 "Alright, Bridger," she said, "what's your angle?"

 "Angle?" Ezra asked, "why do you assume I have 'an angle?'"

 "You came to class five minutes early, and instead of making a break for the door as soon as possible, you're hanging around after class is dismissed. Pardon me for being suspicious."

 Ezra didn't respond.

 "If there's ever anything you want to talk about, I'm here," she said.

 "Look, it's nothing," Ezra said, "don't worry about it."

 Ezra decided to turn heel and leave before his dad's girlfriend started psychoanalyzing him again.

 What Ezra hadn't counted on was someone else walking through the doorway at the same time, and him running into her.

 "Watch where you're going," she grumbled, as a textbook and a few notebooks fell out of her arms.

 Ezra had seen this kind of scene in movies before, so he figured he may as well pick up the textbooks for her.

 "I'm so sorry," he said, crouching down and grabbing the books off the floor, "I didn't…"

 She sighed. "It's alright."

 Her voice almost seemed familiar— no, it did seem familiar.

 "Here you go," Ezra said, getting up and handing her the books, "I, uh…."

 He stumbled over his words, because not only did he recognize her voice as one of his favorites in the world, but when he looked up at her face, he saw rich brown eyes, and hair the same color as spectre_pheonix's logo.

 "You're good," she smiled as she took the books from him.

 "I, uh," he scratched his neck, "I like your hair."

 "Nice shirt," she said, and winked as she walked away.

 He looked back at her as she left, then back down at his shirt— his favorite shirt he'd ever gotten from his favorite streamer's online shop. 

💜.🎮.🧡

 Even when Sabine got back to her dorm room after class, the boy who'd bumped into her after class was still on her mind. There wasn't anything exceptional about him, but there was some kind of awe that sparkled across his blue eyes that almost made her feel special.

 So, as soon as she got back to her dorm room, weird as it sounded, she decided to draw him— not his whole face, just those eyes that had been fixed on her, tucked between a shaggy crop of hair, and those mysterious scars underneath. It wasn't abnormal for her to draw inspiration from people she'd seen around campus like that.

 She also could tell that he must've been a longtime fan of hers. She hadn't sold the "spectre spectator" shirt on her merch site for a couple years, but he had one, and he wore it proudly. She tried to remind herself that there was no way he could've known it was her; she'd been so careful not to leave a trace of her real self online.

 Still, as she saw the awe on this fanboy's face, she wondered if that's how all her followers would respond to seeing her. Her follower count was just a number, but she wondered if that number was all awestruck and loyal followers like that one.

 So, once she finished the sketch, she went to her Twitch profile. Six-hundred, seven-thousand and eighty-three followers. Six-hundred, seven-thousand and eighty-three people, people just like the one she met today, who appreciated her with an awestruck wonder.

 She scrolled through the list of names, and noticed one near the top of the list— spectre_6, whose username she'd seen in the comments of many of her videos over the years. The notification said they were streaming Terraria, and, out of curiosity, she pulled up the stream and decided to check it out.

💜.🎮.🧡

 It wasn't very often that Ezra found himself with free time. When he wasn't watching spectre_pheonix's livestreams, or doing homework, or attempting to do both at the same time, he was usually sleeping or hanging out with his friends.

 However, today after class, he found himself with free time enough to do a little digging, and add a new page to his conspiracy:

 It seemed like a good enough list for now, so he decided that, since spectre_pheonix wasn't streaming right now, he may as well pull up Terraria and do a little streaming of his own.

 He was crawling through the pink blocks of his dungeon. Wielding his trusty Horseman’s Blade, he walked through the rough stones of this monster-ridden dungeon. He jumped down a shaft, relying on his jet pack to keep him from dying on the ground. He used the melee/range sword to promptly cut down a nearby Necromancer. He kept running through, and quickly slew several Blue Armored Bones.

 Ezra heard the blip of activity in his comment section, and glanced at the sidebar on his screen. It wasn't unheard of for him to get comments on his streams, but it also wasn't very common either.

 He glanced at the comment, then did a double take and a triple take. The color of the name was familiar. The username was familiar. There was a checkmark next to her name to show he was following her.

 Ezra's heart skipped several beats, like when your teacher calls on you in class, but in a good way, like when you're prepared for it— but he wasn't prepared for this at all, no matter how much he'd dreamed it would happen.

 Spectre_pheonix had commented on one of his livestreams.

 "OH MY GOSH!" he yelled into the mic, not noticing The Paladin behind him until it was too late. Quite frankly, he didn't care that his “Incompetence was put on display by Paladin’s Hammer” because at least being dead gave him a chance to respond to her comment.

 He tried to get back into his game, but couldn't focus, especially when she responded.

 She didn't reply to that, and he wondered if she was still even watching. Rather than just check in a normal way, he instead blurted, "spectre_pheonix, if you're still watching, wanna do a collab sometime?"

 He was mentally kicking himself in the shins for asking such a foolish question, but was excited when he saw a reply in the comments section:

💜.🎮.🧡

 The past week had pretty much been the best week of Ezra's life. Spectre_pheonix rarely collabed with anyone, but the past week they'd joined in together for Minecraft, LEGO Star Wars: The Clone Wars, and Dust: An Elysian Tale, the latter of which, being single player, was just spectre_pheonix playing and spectre_6 giving commentary. Not only was this a dream come true, but it also boosted his meager follower count, and Jai had even stopped picking on him for his fantasy fanboying, instead jokingly referring to Ezra's collabs as "the closest thing he'd ever get to a date." Ezra didn't care.

 He'd also been on the lookout more and more for that girl he'd run into, Sabine. Whether or not Sabine was spectre_pheonix, he had yet to decide on, but that didn't change the fact that she was still a pretty girl who'd smiled at him at least once, which definitely kept her in the forefront of Ezra's mind.

💜.🎮.🧡

 Sabine rarely shared any information about herself online, but it was hard to plan collab information via Twitch, so she'd exchanged discord handles with spectre_6. Admittedly, he would've been as great a gamer as she was, if maybe he'd had a little more practice playing instead of just spectating. Still, collabs with him were enjoyable, and his sense of humor turned even Dark Souls into a hilarious adventure.

 As she took notes on Professor Syndulla's class on her laptop, she kept discord open in a separate tab.

 "Miss Wren?" Professor Syndulla asked, "is there something humorous about my lesson on how having traumatic experiences as a child inhibit our ability to make connections in the future?"

 "No, ma'am," Sabine said. She hadn't realized how much of a mistake it would be to message spectre_6 in class until now. Usually, the people she'd chat with in class didn't have nearly as great a sense of humor as he did. Surely that was the only reason his conversations had her giggling in the middle of psych class.

💜.🎮.🧡

 Ezra had done just enough research in class to find out everything he needed to know about Sabine. He'd positioned himself where he could see her, notice the deep gray of discord in the side corner of her computer next to the class notes. She typed in response to his messages. She laughed in response to his messages. When the teacher called her out for giggling in class, the same thing apparently happened to spectre_pheonix. She closed discord and payed attention in class at the same time spectre_pheonic did.

 Ezra was convinced now more than ever: spectre_pheonix's real name was Sabine Wren, and she'd been in his psychology class this whole time.

 She was a very private person, and someone finding out who she was definitely wasn't on her radar with how careful she'd been about personal details, so he knew if he brought it up, he'd have to breach the subject very, very carefully.

💜.🎮.🧡

 "I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!"

 Sabine looked up from her notebook with a start, intending to stick around after class so she could apologize to Professor Syndulla, not so that some random peer could slam his hands on her desk and yell ungrounded accusations at her.

 But to her surprise, and in some ways her delight, the student she saw in front of her was the boy she'd bumped into last week, with the same soft blue eyes, the same dark, shaggy hair, and the same purple and orange shirt she'd once sold on her shop.

 "What do you mean?" Sabine asked, beginning to pack up her things in an attempt to make a hasty exit.

 His voice lowered. "I know you're spectre_pheonix."

 She tried to keep a cool head, not to show her abject terror. She knew of a lot of bad things that had happened to celebrities when a crazed fan found them, and couldn't let this one know the truth.

 "Who?" she asked, "I'm sorry, I, I don't know what you're talking about."

 "I think you do," he said.

 "What makes you so sure?" she asked, trying to stall just a moment as she quickly slung her backpack over her shoulder and turned to leave.

 "Because I'm spectre_6."

 She stopped dead in her tracks and turned back to look at him, sizing it all up in her mind. He'd clearly been a longtime fan of hers, just like spectre_6 had. Now that she thought about it, his voice sounded familiar, too. He'd also mentioned sitting in class, right when she was, and that the same thing had happened in his class that happened to her.

 Still, she needed confirmation.

 "What?"

 "You started laughing in class today because of my joke about tax evasion," he said, "and then decided to 'sign off and lock in' so you could keep your grades up. Last night after you finished your collab with me, I messaged you a gif of Master Chief saluting and saying "goodnight," and you called me a total dork— that was a high honor, by the way. And then the day before that…"

 "Okay, okay," she said, a little quieter, afraid of the few students still in the room overhearing, "I'm convinced. But how did you find out it was me?"

 "You quoted Professor Syndulla in your stream a week and a half ago," he said, "and then you complimented my shirt last week, the same shirt I'm wearing now— and yes, I have washed it between then and now— and your hair matches your logo, and, I was watching you today in class— not, like, watching you, watching you. Like, not in a stalker way— oh kriff, am I a stalker? I am so sorry, that's really creepy now that I think about it. Anyways while I was hopefully maybe definitely not stalking you, I noticed that you reacted to every message I sent spectre_pheonix, and my suspicions were confirmed."

 And Sabine's suspicions were confirmed when she heard him ramble, the same way spectre_6 always did when he was nervous in-game.

 "Nice deduction, spectre_6," she said, feeling so much more comfortable now that she knew that this stranger was a friend she'd already met.

 "Call me Ezra," he said, extending a hand to her, "Ezra Bridger."

 "Sabine," she said, taking his hand and shaking it, "it's nice to finally meet you."

 "You have no idea," he said.

💜.🎮.🧡

 Being roommates with Ezra Bridger meant you had to be prepared for anything. Walking into the dorm room and thinking you're alone only to find your roommate under his desk, watching vines, and claiming both those things were for "emotional support." Listening to the most insane rumors and conspiracy theories about your teachers and classmates. Helping hide that stupid orange cat he'd smuggled in. Waking up at 2am to the beeping of a microwave and the smell of pizza rolls. All of this came with the territory, and Jai was professional in handling the insane force of nature that was Ezra Bridger.

 But none of it could prepare him for what he saw when he walked into his dorm room one day after lunch and found Ezra cleaning. For someone whose laundry was piled higher than his loft bed, and who acted like he'd never seen a bottle of windex in his life, Ezra sure seemed to have purpose as he rushed around the room, putting away clean clothes while also tidying up the cluttered pile of papers and funko pops that he claimed were hiding a desk.

 "May I ask what the occasion is?" Jai asked.

 Ezra didn't even turn to look at him as his tornado of tidiness swept across the dorm room.

 "Surprise."

 "Surprise what?" Jai asked, "like, 'you can't tell me' surprise, or 'you wanted to surprise me by cleaning our room' surprise or 'your dad is coming for a surprise visit' surprise?"

 "The first one," Ezra said.

 "I'm not even gonna ask," Jai said.

 "Good," Ezra said, "because you wouldn't believe me."

 There were a lot of things Ezra could do that were unbelievable, but he was pretty sure just cleaning up the room was enough to suspend his standard of disbelief.

 Jai sat down at his own desk and pulled out his laptop, figuring he may as well work on his history homework while he waited for the inevitable Bridger surprise.

 About ten minutes later, Jai thought he heard a knock on the door, followed by Ezra yelling out "I'M COMING!" and bolting for the door, picking up the last bits of trash off the floor on his way.

 Jai watched his roommate fumble to open the door with the trash still in his hand, then toss it into a corner where it wouldn't be seen and pull the door open.

 "Sabine," Ezra said, "come on in."

 "Alright," a girl's voice said.

 A girl?

 Ezra Bridger had never talked to a girl in person in all their time at Attalon Alliance University, so naturally Jai was surprised when a beautiful girl followed Ezra into their dorm room.

 "Oh, Sabine," Ezra said, "this is my roommate, Jai."

 "Nice to meet you," Sabine said, with a smile.

 "Pardon the disbelief on my face," Jai said, "I didn't know Ezra even knew how to talk to girls who weren't on his computer."

 Ezra looked a touch embarrassed, but his new friend spoke up for him, with half a giggle.

 "We met through his computer," Sabine said, "he may have mentioned me. Spectre_pheonix?"

 "You mean the Wild Ghost Chase wasn't just another ungrounded conspiracy theory?" Jai asked.

 "Wild Ghost Chase?"

 "It's called The Spectre Search," Ezra defended, "and yes, as I predicted, spectre_pheonix is, in fact, another student in my psych class."

 "I came over to do a collab in person today," she said, "it's a lot better than trying to voice chat over Ezra's grainy mic setup."

 "Hey!" Ezra said.

 "She's got a point," Jai said, "and I guess my prediction was right too."

 "What prediction?" Ezra asked.

 "I told you if you ever met her she'd be way out of your league."

 "Hey!" Ezra said again. "Don't you have a history report due?"

 "Relax, I'm just messing with you," Jai said, "besides, this one's an easy A."

 And with that, he turned back to his computer and let Ezra and Sabine have the illusion of privacy for their first in-person edition of "the closest thing Ezra would ever get to a date." Jai put on his headphones and went to his favorite research material: opening Spotify and resuming where he'd last left off in Hamilton: An All American Musical.

💜.🎮.🧡

 It wasn't uncommon after that for them to stream in Ezra's dorm room, or in Sabine's when Jai was busy with homework he couldn't risk interruption in. This time was one of those days, because, as Jai cited, "Lin Manuel Miranda didn't write us a musical about algebra," so Ezra found himself on the floor in her room, leaning his back against her bed, while she sat on her bed, her legs dangling off the side next to him.

 While they waited to connect on their college's laggy internet, Ezra filled the silence.

 "So, how do you think you'll do on that psych test next week?"

 "Not too bad, I hope," Sabine said, "you?"

 "I just hope dad has room on the fridge for another D-," Ezra said.

 "Maybe I can put in a good word with the professor for you," Sabine said, a bit of a laugh in her tone. "She and I have a fairly good rapport."

 "If only you knew," Ezra thought.

 "Unfortunately, this is one area where I think I do have you beat," Ezra said.

 "Are you crazy?" Sabine asked, leaning over the edge of the bed so she could see if his expression was sarcastic, "she's clearly got it out for you. I've never seen her go so hard on any student."

 "And why do you think that is?" Ezra asked.

 "Because you don't apply yourself in any of your classes and she thinks you're wasting potential?"

 "Well, yeah," Ezra said, "but I'm not the only one who does that, and she singles me out anyways."

 "And why do you suppose that is?"

 Ezra sighed. Professor Syndulla had never mentioned having a boyfriend, at least, not in any of the classes Ezra had been in, and if she had, no one besides Jai would've known it was Ezra's dad. It was a touchy subject for him, so he didn't bring it up much.

 But somehow he could tell Sabine would understand.

 "She's dating my dad," Ezra said.

 "She— what?"

 This wasn't normal information for students to know about their teachers, so he understood her confusion.

 "How do you think I even got into this school, what, with my grades?" Ezra asked, "if not for her glowing letter of recommendation, I wouldn't even be here right now."

 "So your dad is dating your professor so you can get into college?"

 "What, no?" Ezra said, "They've been together for years, and I wasn't even thinking about college until long after they met. But dad always thought college would be good for me, and Professor Syndulla offered to help me get in and found me some scholarships."

 "So our psych professor is hard on you because she's dating your dad?"

 "Yeah, lots of psychology to unpack there." Ezra said.

 "How do you feel about it all?"

 Ezra paused. He hadn't answered that one honestly in a while, not even when his dad asked him last saturday.

 "Do you really wanna know?" Ezra asked.

 Sabine slid down off her mattress and sat down next to him, and her presence was already familiar enough to inspire honesty.

 "Yeah," she said.

 "It's weird," Ezra said, "I guess I never really grasped the idea of having a mom again."

 After a moment of silence, Sabine asked another question. "Can I ask what happened to your mom?" 

 "The same thing that happened to my dad," Ezra said, "my real dad that is— I mean, my birth dad. I don't wanna say Kanan's not my real dad. He raised me for more than half my life, anyways, after my parents went on a missions' trip and never came back."

 "Oh."

 "It's alright," Ezra said, not letting her waste time on awkward sympathy. "No, no it's not, and to be honest it really sucks, but there's nothing any of us could've done to stop it. And Kanan, he was always there for me, even before my parents left."

 Sabine didn't answer, but it felt nice to talk to her about it anyways, so he hoped she didn't mind that he continued.

 "They're getting married," he said.

 "What?"

 "Professor Syndulla and my dad," Ezra said. "Well, she doesn't know it yet, and maybe she'll say no again, but I don't think so. Dad's proposing at dinner on Friday."

 Sabine nodded again, clearly trying to process everything he'd said.

 "I'm sorry," Ezra said, "I didn't mean to make this a pity party."

 "Don't be," Sabine said, "this is what friends are for."

 "Friends?" Ezra thought, with a smile. Two months ago he'd been her fan, and she hadn't even known he existed. And now they were friends? He could get used to this.

 "But just so we're clear," Sabine said, "I don't pity you."

 "What?"

 "You have a dad who thinks the world of you," Sabine said, "and I'd kill to have a mom like Professor Syndulla."

 "Why?" Ezra asked.

 "Because I know what it's like to have a mom who's not like her," Sabine said, "a mom who's not proud of you. A mom who doesn't compliment the sketches you draw in the margins of your notes. A mom whose biggest dream is for you to drop out of your art major so you can join the family business instead."

 "I, I'm sorry," Ezra said.

 "I don't need your sympathies either," Sabine said.

 "You're getting them anyways," Ezra said, "do you want to talk at all?" "What's there to say?" Sabine said, "that family business always came before family? That even my own brother thought it was more fun to game with his friends than his sister? That my parents wouldn't give a single dime for my tuition, and if it wasn't for my merch money and some massive scholarships I wouldn't even be here?" 

 Ezra put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her, trying to find the words to say. Someone whose whole persona was built on a mask of online secrecy had just shared something so personal with him, and he didn't know what to say.

 "Do you wanna come to dinner on Sunday?"

 "What?" Sabine asked, apparently shocked out of her despair.

 "I always go to my dad's for a family dinner on Sunday afternoon after church. Professor Syndulla does too. We're probably gonna be celebrating the engagement, and then she's gonna beat us in our weekly game of Ticket to Ride. It's incredibly boring, but if you wanna join us anyways…"

 "I'll be there," Sabine said with a smile.

 And instead of returning to her normal seat, she stayed next to Ezra as they remembered why they were there in the first place and began their game together.

💜.🎮.🧡

 Sunday ended up being one of the most enjoyable days Sabine had had in a long time. She ended up tagging along with Ezra that morning when he went to church, so he wouldn't have to drive back to the school to pick her up. It was a new experience for her, but he didn't seem to mind. Afterwards, they went back to Ezra's dad's house— Ezra's house, technically— for a family dinner, along with Professor Syndulla, who was absolutely beaming as she showed off her engagement ring. Another one of Kanan's family friends, whom Ezra referred to as "Uncle Zeb," was there as well, along with the professor's cat, Chopper, who couldn't be trusted to stay at home alone for a whole afternoon without destroying the place. The game of Ticket to Ride that came out after dinner only had enough pieces for four players, but Ezra and Sabine teamed up so everyone could play— and even with their combined mental resources, they were still no match for Professor Syndulla.

 As they drove back to school, Sabine reminded herself why Ezra had done this. Not a single person at that dinner was related to each other— and yet, they were family— and Ezra wanted Sabine to be part of it too. 

 Maybe this "friendship" thing wasn't so bad after all.

💜.🎮.🧡

 Spectre_pheonix and spectre_6 had been doing collaborative streams for most of the past month. Her fans really enjoyed his commentary on her skills, often leaving comments about how well her dry wit complimented his whimsical sense of humor, and how well they worked together. Both of them gained more followers because of it, which Ezra thought was almost impossible, because how could there have been people on Twitch who weren't already following her?

 "You ever read the comment section?" Ezra asked one day as they were playing Minecraft.

 "Not often. Why?" 

 "Look at these," Ezra said, then read a few of them out loud.

 "That last one is true, at least," Sabine said, and it would've been harsh if he hadn't seen the twinkle in her warm brown eyes.

 "That last one was my roommate," Ezra said, glaring across the room at Jai, who smiled innocently. 

 "Oh, but this one isn't," Ezra said, reading off the latest comment:

 He smiled at Sabine.

 "That's a great question," Ezra said, into the mic so the commenter could hear. "Hey, spectre_pheonix, wanna go out on Friday?"

 Sabine looked at him and smiled. "Sounds like a date," she said.

 "Great," Ezra said, then turned back to his mic, unable to hold back an enormous grin as he said, "Yes, yes we are."

 💜.🎮.🧡

 By all accounts, it should've been weird for them to go out on a date instead of just hanging out and playing video games. It should've been weird when Ezra showed up at Sabine's door, wearing a nice button down shirt instead of her merch, holding a bouquet of purple and orange roses instead of his custom gaming controller. It should've been weird as they sat down to eat something nicer than dining hall pizza or a bag of doritos that ended up half-strewn across the dorm room floor as they blasted away at each other in Halo. It should've been weird when Ezra put on a playlist in the car of the cringiest but most endearing love songs she'd ever heard, and even more so when they found themselves singing along, and it should've been weird when Ezra put his arm around her during the movie and she leaned in closer, and it should've been weird when they walked out of the theater and he put his coat over her bare shoulders without her even needing to tell him she was cold. It should've been weird when, instead of ending the evening with, "so, Terraria tomorrow?" it ended with a couple "I had a great time"s and a delicate first kiss.

 It should've been weird, but it wasn't. It wasn't weird at all that they had more in common than their love of video games. It wasn't weird at all that conversations with him came naturally and being in his presence felt like breathing. It wasn't weird at all that, as soon as she was alone, Sabine found herself leaning back against her dorm room door and sighing dramatically like the heroine of a cheesy romcom.

 It wasn't weird at all. In fact, it was perfect.

[seashoreshell]

He's finally here

[redysetdare]

Some of you will see a character that is actively repulsed by romance/sex and heavily non-partner coded (sometimes they even actively just say that they do not want a relationship!) and y'all will still respond with "But aros/aces can still date and have sex!!" like okay bud it'd be so much easier for you to say you don't respect repulsed and non-partnering aros and aces. stop beating around the bush trying to pretend to be oh so supportive when you obviously feel uncomfortable about our existence even in fiction.

[kingkatsuki]

Mother Mitsuki, who despite Masaru’s pleas, is way too invested in Bakugou and your relationship.

[hauntingblue]

We got koby today.... tashigi could cut the hand like zoro did in dressrosa but we got koby today....

[mechanicalbowtye]

read the scratch upd8. little too close to home

[digitaldiseas3]

i’m still kinda working on it but getting over my antisocial habits is literally improving my life so fucking much

[armoralor]

my favourite irony of the current shipping discussion is the folks who allege WolfWren enjoyers sent “threats” to people who enjoy cishet ships (I have asked for ANY examples or usernames of anyone doing this multiple times), have also been calling for Filoni to suffer & die if he doesn’t make their ship canon. but don’t forget, it’s definitely the sapphics and queers who like WolfWren that are the problem

[knightlycrow]

working on some naruto fanart and i just want to say i love sakura so much i almost threw hands with a coworker for calling her annoying the other day. i think she (and a lot of the female characters lbr) was done so dirty and thank god for fandom in that regard. huge fan of stuff that fleshes out the girls.

[kalloway]

I don't know him that well personally, but I WOULD take a bullet (an arrow? I guess, in this context?) for Anri of Astora

He gives me SUCH soft boy vibes, I just wanna protect him at all costs despite him being in a literal suit of armour already

[lilgynt]

okayyyyyyyyyy got lost for 3 plus hours with half a tank of gas trying to find the closet rest stop to my work with shitty directions printed at the libaryyyyy staying with a friend tonight and then probably heading home to be talked into moving back tomorrow but aha i am the devil 

[meejijis]

"Why are all SK fans proshippers" Silence fetus

[floral-hex]

health whining

Dilemma: breathing trouble. Still. For weeks. Another bad night where I’m afraid to go to sleep.

Options, if I go somewhere:

ER. No copay. Can go right now. Will most definitely feel shitty for presumably wasting their time and will probably be told to see ENT (ENT appointment in almost 2 weeks but issue is affecting me NOW).

Urgent care. There is a copay. I’ll have to wait 2 more hours. If equipment is needed (I dunno, endoscopy scopes. Who knows), they most definitely won’t have it. Will also probably tell me to go see ENT.