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justreadingfics · 4 years ago

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It’s a Deal -Ch. 13

Chapter Summary: Old memories come back to you.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 3k

Warnings: angsty internal thoughts, no Bucky this chapter.

A/N: Here it is. I’m sorry I ended up not reblogging all the comments on last chapter before I post this one, but I’ve read and cherish them all, please don’t doubt that. Thank you, incredible Suz, @bucky-the-thigh-slayer you’re a Queen around here. The link to my masterlist, where you can find the other chapters, is on my description. Feedback is highly appreciated.

Tag list for this story is closed.

You bet that if you told anyone about the scene playing out in your apartment right now, people would scoff their asses off at your face: Saturday afternoon, your living room, the Leader of the Avengers Tech Team, the Director of SHIELD – probably the most powerful organization in the world- and one of the scariest, if not the scariest spy to ever walk on earth. All three of you sitting on your carpet, barefeet, wearing tops and tiny shorts due the heat brought by the bright sun slipping through your windows. A big bowl of popcorn in the center and innumerous chocolate bars everywhere.

Those afternoons with the three of you are a rare event. First, you had your relationship with Eddie to blame, but now it’s mainly due to your work schedules that almost never are in sync, but whenever there’s an opportunity, there you are.

Your phone's message alerts ringing together bursts into the conversation and the three of you grab your devices simultaneously. You were dreading to see what it was, sure it was something from work, but a huge smile widens in your lips at what you see on your screen.

“Jesus…” Nat says, while, laughing, you three turn the screens to one another, confirming you have received the same message. “Bucky’s a lost cause with that cat. That’s the millionth picture I received of her this week. And she’s always doing something extremely exciting like… sleeping.” She rolls her eyes.

“But we have to admit that little asshole is kinda cute,” Sharon comments looking back at her screen and the picture of the, indeed, sleeping cat.

“She is, right?” You agree, with a huge smile on your face. You and Alpine may have had a somewhat rough start, but you can’t help but admit she’s an adorable little jerk who’s just very protective of her human.

“By the way,” Natasha smirks at you, putting her phone back on her pocket, “I had no idea that was what he meant when he said he would romance the shit out of you.”

“It suits perfectly, though,” Sharon comments, shaking her head and laughing with her.

“It does. Shame on me, I should’ve known better.” Nat agrees.

“He said that?” You ask with peaked interest you try to disguise in the quietness of your tone while you bite the corner of your lips.

The curiosity in the information doesn’t go unnoticed by them, who just snicker at each other. You decide to ignore that.

“The dude is smitten, Y/N, wake the fuck up.” Natasha not so gently throws a popcorn right on your face.

“Hey,” you whine.

“And so is she, giving that little dreamy look on her face. Wake the fuck up indeed.” Sharon sides with Nat with a huff.

“I’ve created two monsters…” Nat comments like you weren’t even in the room, referring to the fact she is the one who brought you two together.

“It’s not like that…” You barge in their little interaction, catching their attention, before folding your legs up and holding your knees, “I mean… yeah, of course… I can’t help having feelings for Bucky, I mean… he’s…” you pause, searching for the right words to describe him, “He’s Bucky.” You shrug… a small smile curling your lips, “He’s Bucky…” you repeat with a sigh while your gaze wanders away…

It’s just you don’t really need anything else to justify why it’s so inevitable to grow feelings for him and your friends catch on to what you mean, because when you look back at them, they both have stupid and dreamily little looks at you… ones that don’t fit to a couple of spies.

You clear your throat, letting your initial line of thoughts come back to you, “But it’s not that simple… There’s…’ you falter.

“There’s what?” Nat insists, in a kind way.

But “Who” was the more proper pronoun.

“Eddie…” You whisper.

“Argh…” Sharon groans, tilting her face to her side before, looking back at you, “What about Eddie?”

It was just yesterday that you had your little “encounter” with Bucky. You know it was no coincidence he was there, the little shit must’ve tracked you down… but you couldn’t make yourself care about that when it was so amazing… incredible… Not only the fact that he went down on you in such a shameless way and gave you a mind-blowing orgasm, like he always does. It was also the way he spoke to you…his attitude… not really imposing himself… encouraging you to have fun with your friends… no sign of jealousy. It made you feel special and free and… loved. Really loved for who you are and not for who you make yourself to be to please and that is a tremendously powerful feeling.

Still… you have mixed feelings about it all and Eddie is the reason. Being there with him felt familiar and comfortable, but, in some way different… better than before. It makes you think that he really is engaged into finding not just a way back to you, but also a way to make your relationship work and it certainly weighs over your heart.

You tell your friends all of that.

“Did Eddie notice anything?” Nat asks, reaching over for some popcorn.

“I don’t know,” you answer, “He wasn’t at the table when I returned, but he came back shortly, my friends were still talking about it, but we changed to subject once we saw him. The girls didn’t comment anything again, and he acted normal… I guess he didn’t.” You shrug, starting to bite on your nails.

There’s an annoying little feeling rising in you since the night before and, thinking over it, you recognize it as guilt. Guilt for doing that with Bucky while Eddie was there in Club, guilt for not being bothered by Bucky’s presence, while, at least initially, you were bothered by Eddie’s, guilty for enjoying that Bucky was the one who actively made a move when Eddie didn’t, for missing him more than you missed Eddie, for feeling more positively about his change of mind than Eddie’s, for wanting Bucky more…

Guilt because you know you’re falling for him. For Bucky. And there’s little you can do to stop it.

“What is it?” Sharon asks, tightening her lips and nodding at where you’re chewing your nails.

You promptly stop, bringing your hands to around your knees again, “I guess I wasn’t expecting either of them there.” You decide not to share your most recent thoughts with them.

“You know why both of them were there. It was definitely not a coincidence.” Nat reminds you.

“I know… but it's ok, they were polite...” You brush it off but add, quickly, fighting back a smile at the memories that flashes in your mind, “In their own way.”

“Polite? Even when Bucky had his face up your pussy?” Sharon teases, not letting that one go, and making you give in and let out a laugh while you hide your face with your hands for a moment.

“I was pretty excited to find out he was there, actually,” you admit and their faces light up, which you assume is prompted by your own expression. “It was a thrilling sensation… I can’t quite explain.”

“He really is in love with you…Bucky…” Nat tightens her lips and tilts her head.

You sigh, looking back at her, “I know…” You admit.

They both keep waiting for you to say something else but you don’t know what you could say. No… as a matter of fact, you do. You’re just not ready to put your thoughts out in the world. At first, you had your doubts if what Bucky was feeling was really that deep… but now… something has changed. You believe him. You really do. And you know you’re falling for him, too, but…

Eddie was the one you wanted for so long… you’ve made so many plans with him… Long term plans. You used to see yourself growing old with him and that’s an image that still somehow haunts your feelings. And now… the fact that guilt surrounds the feelings arising for Bucky inside you makes you feel like a cheater. You didn’t feel that when it was just sex, but now you do. And you’re damn scared.

What if you surrender to your feelings now and go to Bucky and then comes a day you’ll realize that you were wrong and Eddie will still be the one you really want? You wanted him for so long… can that really have changed? How can one let go of that feeling, that certainty of being right for each other, without being afraid of doing the wrong thing? And if that happens, if you do the wrong thing now, you will eventually hurt Bucky and that’s definitely the last thing you want.

That’s fucked up and you know it. But it’s what you’re feeling.

You keep it to yourself, though.

~~~

It’s a few hours after the girls left your place, you take a refreshing and long bath and are about to put on a movie to relax a bit more for the rest of the evening. Maybe that way you can put your thoughts and feelings in order.

That duality of emotions is crushing your mind. You wanted some time alone and you had that… now, you can’t help the feeling that you need to come to a decision, a conclusion of some sort, you just can’t keep pushing it further. For better or for worse. Or you will lose your mind soon.

A comfort movie is in order for all the thinking you need to do, so you set “The Prisoner of Azkaban” on your TV before you head to the kitchen. You’re still pretty full of all the junk food the three of you made a feast of the whole afternoon, so you decide to prepare just an old recipe of peach iced tea your mom has taught you. Perfect for the hot weather, too.

You’ve just added the ice in the jar when your intercom rings. You frown wondering who could that be and check your phone for any missed calls or messages, finding none before answering the intercom.

“Yeah? Oh… no, yeah, sure, come up.” You press the button to let him in. Your heart beats just slightly faster, wondering what could he possibly be doing there.

“Hi,” he greets, once you open the door after he pressed the ringer.

“Hi,” you answer, and without even thinking, just keep staring at him, blocking his way into your apartment while he stands at your door, holding a big box in his hands.

“Can I come in?” He asks, when you say nothing else.

“Oh, yeah, of course, sorry.” You step aside, allowing Eddie to walk into your living room with a tight smile on his lips.

“Please,” you gesture towards your sofa and he nods, walking with you over there, “I was about to pour me some iced tea, would you like some?” You offer, tentativeness still present in your tone, while the big box secured in his hands grasps your attention for a second.

“Your mom’s recipe?” He asks, his whole face lightening up as he takes his seat.

You chuckle and nod.

“Oh, hell yeah, then.”

You take just a little longer than you actually need to fix the tea for the two of you in the kitchen. For some reason, his presence, after the night before, what you did with Bucky and after you coming to terms that you are, indeed, growing feelings for the other guy… it just unsettles you.

After taking a deep breath or two, you come back to the living room. Some small conversation ensues while you take a seat by his side and you two drink from the tea you’ve just prepared.

“Ahm…What’s that?” At some point you give in to the curiosity and nod towards the box now on your center table.

He smiles, before placing his cup on your table and taking the box in his hands. He shifts on the sofa, making room for placing it on one of the cushions between the two of you. “I was taking a look at it at home earlier, it just… I couldn’t help myself… and decided to come by to show you.”

When he opens the lid, placing it aside, you take in the contents, which makes your heart beat a bit funny at the surprise. You recognize pictures of the two of you, letters, a few souvenirs… All of them represent a memory of your relationship.

“Oh…” you say. You know all that stuff had been stashed in some place, but you never knew he had taken them with him once he moved out.

“Yeah…” Eddie brushes the back of his neck, peering at you from beneath his lashes, “I guess I really wasn’t that confident about my decision when I left…” he shrugs, looking down at the box again, “I just couldn’t leave it behind.”

You give him a tightened and brief smile, before placing your teacup on the table and starting to fumble through the items inside the box. You let out a breathy laugh when you find a picture of the day you two have met… he had founded a study group on advanced software creating techniques and you were the only one to show up.

“Oh my God…” you laugh.

“Yeah… what a couple of nerds,” Eddie chuckles, looking at the picture.

He helps you through the shuffling when you go through some more pictures from college, his family, your family… the day you two closed the deal to buy the apartment… the letter you received when you were both accepted in the Avengers tech team…

You feel the tears gathering in your eyes before they start silently rolling down your cheeks… It’s a weird sensation, it’s like meeting with an old part of yourself, an old friend. One that has never really left, but you almost don’t recognize anymore… leading to a nostalgic and longing feeling.

They’re all good memories stashed on that box… of course… you guess no one is really keen to proposedly keep a souvenir from the bad ones… but that’s not on what your focus lays right now. Your attention is caught by a particular thing from the box. A small gasp escapes your lungs at the sight.

You look up at Eddie, whose eyes have been intensely trained on you, before you grab the object in your hands.

It’s a scrapbook you two have made through college years. While you silently and carefully go through the pages your life passes in front of your eyes. Movie and concert tickets… more pictures… a few drawings… software ideas you had together… little notes you’ve written to each other… and then, on the very last couple of pages, there they are.

You remember them. The day you two decided to write a letter to each other, telling how you wanted your future to be.

You roam your fingers through the frayed papers… you don’t have to read them again to know what’s there. You remember. Without knowing, in the end you two had written the exact same thing in both letters… among other small stuff, you two wrote you wanted a kick ass job, live in the city in an apartment of your own… and stay together forever.

Your watery gaze follows when Eddie slides down to the floor and kneels before you, taking your hands in his, “I meant every word then and I still do,” he says, softly, staring deeply into your eyes, “I can’t see my future without you… I just can’t.” He shakes his head, before it drops.

You see how his lips twist before he looks up at you again, with a saddened look on his face, “I know how that guy makes you feel…”

Your body freezes just as your heart does and you feel the precise moment when it splits in two. That heavy sensation comes back to your chest when the image of Bucky pops into your mind and suddenly there are two lives running before your eyes. One there, with Eddie, with everything you've ever dreamed of… the other running straight into Bucky's arms and leaving all of that behind.

And you know there's only one right for you.

You're brought back to reality by the sound of Eddie's voice.

“I- I know about what happened last night, I, ahm, I’ve heard the girls…” he stammers but holds his hold on your hands when you shift on your seat and he senses your discomfort. “No… it’s ok. “I know it’s new… it’s exciting…” he continues, nodding and hastily licking his lips, “And you deserve to explore that. You do… it’s ok.” He puts on a small smile, “But I want you to know that I’m here. I’m waiting for you. I’m waiting for us… for our future. No matter how long it takes. How much fun you need to have with that guy before you realize what I already know.” He smiles wider, “Because I know you and I are it. We’ve always been it.”

You’re frowning while looking down at him. His words making their way into your senses.

You free one hand of his secured hold to reach over and cup his smiling face.

He leans into your touch.

You make a decision.

#Bucky Barnes x Reader #Bucky x Reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #it´s a deal #it's a deal ch. 13

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queenismyprimejive · 5 years ago

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This storm too shall pass – 80s Roger Taylor x Fem! Reader – Part 2

Synopsis: After a huge fight with Roger, reader contemplates whether her relationship with Roger has any success at all. For her sake it has to, because the secret she’s been keeping from him will surely change the future for both of them. Luckily, Freddie is there to bring some calm after the storm.

W/C:2,076

Perspective: You-perspective, reader-insert, use of Y/N. I plan on putting this in each of my future fics, just because I tend to switch between the two perspectives in writing.

Warnings: Nothing really serious. Some swearwords mentions of implied pregnancy. Overall fluff, drama, angst, the usual.

A/N: None.

Tagging:

@joeneslee

@hodgepodge-of-rog

@ceres27

@queen-paladin

@march-of-all-queens

@jennyggggrrr

@rhapsodyrecs

“Pregnant….. are you sure?”, Freddie asked slowly as he watched me pacing around his living room, trying to make sense of the situation.

You looked at Freddie in exasperation. “No Fred I’m not at all sure, why else would I say I think I’m pregnant?”, I fired back, not caring at all how frustrated I sounded.

“So that is why you didn’t want Roger smoking in the house”, Freddie concluded, not at all fazed by my small outburst.

You stopped pacing around and focussed your attention on Freddie, letting out small breaths of air in an attempt to calm yourself down. You nodded slowly as you plopped back onto the couch.

“For how long have you felt like this?”

You stayed quiet for a few minutes because you weren't sure if you had to tell Fred everything in detail.

“You know you can tell me anything…. right love”, Freddie said, as if he sensed my hesitation to open up to him, “I’m not grossed out by the female body”.

You raised an eyebrow at him and promptly burst out laughing.

“I’m not grossed out by pregnant women”, Freddie clarified as he laughed along with me. “Come on, shoot”.

“Well, I guess I felt it a couple of weeks ago. My period comes fairly regularly, it changes by one or two days….. but when it stayed off for almost two weeks I was beginning to worry. Plus, everything feels different Fred, more sensitive I mean, and I feel queasy in the morning…. All the signs are there Fred”, you continued on.

All the while Fred remained silent, intently listening to your story.

“Fred…. I’m scared”, you said with watery eyes.

“Oh darling”, Freddie said sympathetically as he enveloped you in a tight hug, “everything is gonna be fine you’ll see. Why didn’t you tell Roger why you were struggling with this?”

“Because….”, you sniffled, “If I told him I suspected I was pregnant, and I turned out not be, he’d be disappointed in me, and if I turned out to be pregnant and he didn’t want the child I’d lose him anyways”.

“Don’t think so little of yourself Y/N”, Freddie tutted, “the man worships the ground you walk on, better yet, if the opportunity would arise, he’d probably commit murder for you, and knowing Roger, he’d actually be capable of doing so”.

You chuckled as you wiped a few stray tears away with your sleeve, “yeah that’s probably true”.

“And”, Freddie continued, “he’d want nothing more than to start a family, he told me so himself”.

“Really?”, you were a little surprise you heard him say that, since Roger never explicitly told you so himself.

Freddie nodded in confirmation, “Really love, and what if you really turned out to be pregnant Y/N, how would you feel about that?”

You lovingly placed a hand on your still flat belly, “I’d want nothing more than to start a family with Roger, I just…. I just don’t know what to do”.

“That’s what I’m here for darling, don’t you worry about a think, so here what’s we’ll do”.

You breathed a sigh of relief; Freddie always had a way with words, words that could always calm you down.

“First, I’ll have someone pick up some pregnancy tests for you, just to be sure. Then in the morning we’ll make an appointment with your doctor, and in the meantime I’ll call the guys to see if they can locate that stubborn, hot-headed boyfriend of yours, how does that sound?”

“That sounds good Fred, thank you….. for everything”

He dismissed your words of gratitude with a wave of his hand. “Nonsense darling, Roger is my friend and so are you, it’s the very least I could do”.

You felt a fresh wave of tears coming up, but this time they were tears of gratitude.

“Be right back darling”.

“Freddie?”, you asked softly as he was halfway through the door.

“Yes darling?”

“Can I stay here tonight?”

Of course, you can Y/N, you can stay here any time”.

As Freddie left the room you gazed down at your belly and smiled softly to yourself. For the first time this whole ordeal started, you finally felt everything going in the right direction.

Less than an hour later you found yourself sitting on the couch again with Freddie, with three different pregnancy tests in front the two of you on the coffee table. You were relatively calm at first but now, in anticipation of the result, you couldn’t keep your nervous jitters to yourself anymore. You glanced sideways at Freddie and caught his gaze filled with barely concealed amusement.

He glanced at the clock on the wall. “I think it is time to look darling”.

You let out a deep breath you didn’t know you were holding in, but you couldn’t get yourself to look at the tests in front of you, because if you did, it would all become real and you weren’t sure if you were ready for that.

“You look for me Fred, I can’t…. I can’t look, you do it”.

All right darling, want me to tell you if they’re positive or not?”

“You can tell me anything as long as I don’t have to look at them”.

You turned your head away and waited anxiously until Fred had taken a look at the test.

When he didn’t immediately say anything, you were beginning to worry if there was something wrong, and you shifted uncomfortably in your seat.

“Well darling”, Freddie spoke up, “I believe congratulations are in order.”

“What?”, you exclaimed as you looked up from your lap at Fred, who at this point looked like he couldn’t contain himself.

Well, look for yourself darling”, he grinned and placed the three tests in the palm of your hand. You tried to summon up all the courage before looking at the tests you were holding firmly in your hand. And indeed, Fred was right, on all three tests you could see two noticeably clear lines.

“I’m pregnant”, you whispered softly, mostly to yourself. The reality of it all had yet to sink in. Your lip was wobbling a little and different emotions were swirling through your mind, however, happiness prevailed.

“I’m pregnant Fred”, you said again, smiling, but this time you couldn't hold back the tears of joy. You looked up at him and he was also grinning widely, but you saw he too was sporting a few tears in the corners of his eyes.

“Congratulations darling, I am so happy for you”, he exclaimed and once again he enveloped you in a tight hug.

Thanks Fred”, you whispered into his chest as you hugged him back.

Moments later he pulled away, saw your tears, and wiped them away with his thumb. “But are you happy darling?”.

You nodded. “Yes Fred, I’m happy, it just needs to sink in….. that’s all”.

“So, do you still want to go to the doctor’s office tomorrow? I mean it’s quite positive already but….”

“Yeah I still gonna go to get a check-up, just to be absolutely sure, you know?’

“Of course, darling, I’ll go with you”, he said as he softly squeezed your hand.

Distantly, you heard a phone ring, but you payed no attention to it. Freddie however jumped up at the sound. “That might be Brian or John calling about Roger’s whereabouts. I have to take this call, be right back”.

As Freddie left the room once more you slowly sagged back into the couch. The argument you had with Roger earlier this evening had been forgotten, and the sadness over that argument had made place for something else, nerves and excitement from how you were going to tell Roger about your pregnancy, and whether he’d accept it.

You were pulled from your thoughts by Freddie re-entering the room. He looked slightly out of breath. “Well…. that was Brian”, he started, “thankfully Roger is fairly predictable, so they found him in one of his to-go-to clubs,. He was drunk and high on something else than adrenaline so they’ve taken him home so he cannot do anything stupid in the meantime, and they’ll try and sober him up as quickly as possible.”

‘Well that’s something at least….”, you started.

“No worries love”, Freddie said, “Brian and John have more than enough experience in sobering Roger up, you just get some rest and we’ll talk about it all tomorrow, you’ll see, it will all turn out fine”.

The next morning you found yourself in the examination room of the doctor’s office, anxiously awaiting your results. You had convinced Freddie not to come into the doctor’s office with you, figuring he would draw a little too much attention to himself, so instead he remained in the car with Jim until you were ready to go home, back to Roger.

The doctor re-entering the room pulled you away from your musings.

“Well congratulations miss Y/N L/N, you most certainly are pregnant I’d say about 7 or 8 weeks right now, do you wish to see the ultrasound?”

You nodded vigorously and he gave you the black and white picture and showed you where exactly too look; you could barely contain your happiness at this point.

“So, is everything ok doc?”, you asked.

“Well there isn’t much to see at this point, but everything is looking good so far. I do suggest you to be careful as there still is a higher rate of miscarriage in the early stages of pregnancy. I suggest another check-up in about a month but for now you are good to go”.

Clutching your purse which held the ultrasound pictures, you felt your nerves spike up as Jim turned into your street and parked the car a little further down the street from Roger’s and yours place.

Freddie turned around in his seat and grasped your hand in his.

“Are you going to be ok Y/N? If you need anything don’t hesitate to call all right?”

“I won’t Fred thank you, and thank you too Jim, I know I haven’t exactly been kind you these days”.

“Don’t worry about it Y/N”, he said, “I’m only glad I could be of help”.

As you watched them drive away you made the way towards your front door. You took one final breath of air before you turned the key in the lock.

When you first opened the door you heard nothing, but then you heard the shuffling of footsteps coming from the living room, and a while later the figure of a man you knew very well appeared in the doorway.

His hare was still wet from the shower, so he looked relatively freshened up, however, his bloodshot blue eyes and the bags beneath them betrayed what he had gotten up to last night.

“Y/N”, he breathed out; he looked positively relieved.

You smiled softly at him. “Hey Rog”.

You weren’t sure what to say next, but when you looked up at Roger and caught him looking away, he didn’t know what to say either.

“Listen Y/N, love, I’m sorry about last night I….”

“Don’t worry Rog, you’re forgiven, but we do need to talk”.

When you noticed the fear in his eyes you thought he assumed you were breaking up with him so in order to erase that thought from his mind you closed the distance between the two of you and carefully grabbed his hand in yours, and for a moment you revelled in how good it felt to be close to him again.

“I’m not breaking up with you Rog, don’t worry, but I do have something important to tell you”.

Visibly relieved he carefully tucked a stray lock of hair behind your ear. “What then love?”

“You might want to sit down for this Rog”, you said as you led him towards your living room.

As you sat down on the couch opposite of Roger he grasped your hands in his and rubbed slow circles on the back of your hand with his thumb. Your heart pounded in your throat, you were nervous, so nervous, but you had to get it out of your system.

“What’s wrong love?”, Roger asked, and you looked up at him, his blue eyes filled with worry.

“Nothing’s wrong Rog, I’m just a little scared.”

“Scared about what?”

“About how you’re gonna react.”

“React? To what?”, he looked confused.

You swallowed the lump in your throat. It really was now or never.

“Rog…. I’m pregnant.”

#roger taylor #roger taylor x reader #femke writes things #part 2 #angst #80s roger

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samclownchester · 4 years ago

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Supernatural Rewatch 04x14

Sex and Violence

(Next Episode | Masterlist | Previous Episode)

Ah yes, the Siren episode where Dean has a male Siren :0 surely this is proof that he is attracted to men!?!!?

*deep sigh*

Listen, I think Dean is bisexual, I really do, however I hate when people point to this episode as proof of that because it is clearly doing something very different, and subversive in its own way. If you see him as being sexually attracted to Nick then … I mean, I guess. Whatever. Everyone has their own interpretations. But Sirens are not necessarily sexual beings, that’s what they’ve been painted as by a lot of media, but they are just supposed to lure you in with your greatest desire. What this episode tells us is that, as much as Dean likes sex, it’s not his greatest desire. Or, on another level, romantic love is not as important to him as platonic love is.

The idea this episode plays with is that the most important person in the world to you doesn’t need to be a romantic/sexual partner, which I think is GROUNDBREAKING.

It establishes early on in the episode that the siren doesn’t differentiate between different kinds of devotion. The one guy’s mom wasn’t a romantic threat to the Siren, but she was the most important person in that guy’s life, and so she became the Siren’s target.

“But Ray,” you say “the siren didn’t try to give that guy a new mother figure. It was still establishing a romantic/sexual connection with him! So why would it try to imitate the brotherly bond with Sam instead of just drawing Dean in with sex/romance?”

And the answer is: because Dean wouldn’t have responded to that. The guy who killed his mom surely loved his mom, but he probably still had a desire for romantic connection, hoping to get married and have his own family someday or something like that. I don’t think Dean has that. Sure, he wanted Cassie to understand him, and he has dreams of settling down with Lisa and Ben (and I’m not saying he has no romantic attraction to those women but you can also attribute that to amatonormativity) but at the end of the day what matters to Dean is connections that parallel his relationships with his father and his brother.

SAM You poisoned him.

MUNROE No. I gave him what he needed. And it wasn't some bitch in a G-string. It was you. A little brother that looked up to him, that he could trust. And now he loves me. He'd do anything for me. And I gotta tell you, Sam, that kind of devotion? I mean, watching someone kill for you? It's the best feeling in the world.

The Siren makes it clear that what it wants from its victims is not romance or sex, it’s devotion. It wants people to kill for it. That’s what it considers “love.” It saw that Dean was more likely to kill out of a brotherly devotion rather than a romantic connection, so that was the angle it went for with him. Dean would never prioritize a romantic relationship over his brother, he just wouldn’t.

And the thing about Nick is that … he’s not a carbon copy of Sam, instead he is everything Sam has never been, accentuating the things Dean wants that Sam lacks. He bonds with Dean over cars and music, two things that Sam has never really had an interest in, and, crucially, he doesn’t push for Dean to explain himself; he easily trusts his plan, and we know Sam has always pushed to understand the why behind everything they do.

DEAN It's kinda hard to explain, but I have my reasons and they're good ones, so you're just gunna have to trust me on 'em.

MUNROE Yeah. OK. I guess.

DEAN Thank you. That's actually nice to hear.

And, especially because Dean has already been feeling distrustful toward Sam, he falls for it.

This reminds me of in 3x01 when Dean is cornered by Lust, one of the seven deadly sins, and she isn’t able to have any affect on him. Like, we all know that Dean likes sex, but when it comes down to it, when he faces monsters who literally prey on people based on their sexual desires ... it doesn’t work on him. Lust got her head dunked in holy water and the Siren had to find a work around.

The Sam/Cara subplot is obviously supposed to be a red herring, to make us think we know who the Siren is, but is also tells us a couple of interesting things about Sam and how his attitude toward relationships has changed.

First of all, we know he’s back in contact with Ruby, but we can also assume that after 4x04 they had some sort of break-up and we don’t know what their dynamic is currently like. There is also the possibility that they’re not/never were exclusive but given how monogamous Sam is I find that hard to believe. But who knows? That being said, he doesn’t seem to have any qualms about having a one-night stand with Cara.

DEAN You gonna say goodbye to Cara?

SAM Nah, not interested.

DEAN Really? Why not?

SAM What's the point?

DEAN Well, look at you. Love 'em and leave 'em.

Remember in season 3 when Sam said that he was going to become more like Dean? Remember last episode when Sam said he needed to “grow up”?

So, what I think is going on here is that Sam thinks he’s setting aside his kinda “childish” desire for relationships to last. Obviously, this isn’t actually a childish thing to want, but our society kinda paints one-night stands as like … I don’t know a masculine and mature thing to do? And Sam feels like he needs to become this … tough, masculine, unsentimental person. (You know, go against that gentle nature of his). (also the demon blood is affecting him.) Additionally, this ties in to the idea that building connections isn’t worth it in their life. It’s something he pushed back against in Season 1, but Sam has started to learn that making any kind of relationship last is basically impossible in their lives, and he has stopped trying.

Now, the only reason the Siren had any luck turning the brothers on each other was that there were already issues arising between them.

Dean’s issues with Sam

Dean covertly finds out that Sam has been calling Ruby and lying to him about it. He pretends to have not heard Sam’s phone call and gives him an opportunity to just tell him who he was calling, but instead Sam lies, and Dean hates being lied to.

DEAN Well, I don't know when it happened. Maybe when I was in hell. Maybe when I was staring right at you. But the Sam I knew, he's gone. … And it's not the demon blood or the psychic crap. It's the little stuff. The lies. The secrets.

As a type 8, betrayal is a very difficult thing for him, and he responds pretty extremely. But it’s not just the betrayal, he also feels like his little brother has fundamentally changed. And he’s … not wrong? Sam is changing, he is a very different person than the faithful, sentimental, nerd that we met in season 1. Dean is scared of those changes.

Sam’s Issues with Dean

Sam has always hated being controlled. He didn’t like being ordered around by John and now he has Dean breathing down his neck and disapproving of everything he does.

SAM So I need your say-so to make a phone call?

I do understand why Dean is angry that Sam is hiding from him that he is talking to Ruby, but also Dean has a tendency to hate the idea of Sam having a life outside of the two of them and that’s not cool. I’ll probably talk more about this later.

SAM OK, fine. You know why I didn't tell you about Ruby, and how we're hunting down Lilith? Because you're too weak to go after her, Dean. You're holding me back. I'm a better hunter than you are. Stronger, smarter. I can take out demons you're too scared to go near. … You're too busy sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Whining about all the souls you tortured in hell. Boo hoo. … You're not standing in my way anymore.

Hey, remember in Season 3 when Dean said “you’re stronger than I am” to Sam? Remember how I said that was gonna come back later?

Obviously later in the episode Sam claims this was just the Siren talking but ... we all know this was coming from somewhere. But it’s something Sam, in his normal state, would never say. (Like, taking that dig at Dean for his guilt about Hell?? Man, that’s cold.) But on some level it’s things Sam really believes. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was something Ruby had told him though … But anyway, this episode shows us that, somewhere inside Sam considers Dean a burden, and feels like he’d be more successful without him. This obviously doesn’t outweigh the love that Sam has for Dean, but especially at this point in his journey, when he’s all messed up by Ruby and Demon Blood, they’re thoughts he’s been entertaining.

W*nc*st shippers DO NOT interact

#anyway I'm still confused because Dean was getting pretty chill with Ruby in 4x10 #so why is he so against her now?#probably just because Sam is acting shady #:/#Supernatural #Rewatch #Supernatural Rewatch #04x14 #4x14 #Sex and Violence #THE IDEA THAT BROTHERLY LOVE IS EQUALLY IMPORTANT TO ROMANTIC LOVE IS ACTUALLY SOMETHING WE NEED MORE OF IN OUR SOCIETY #Dean Winchester #Sam Winchester #Siren #Cara

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oh-theatre · 5 years ago

Text

Objection!: Chapter 20

Chapter title: To Thine Own Self

A/n: TALK ABOUT A BAD CHAPTER AM I RIGHT FELLAS...EYYYYYY. Anyway its Virgils birthday so i wanted to get this chapter out earlier!! Because my boi!! its his birthday!! Im love him!! Im very sorry to how bad this chapter is, its funny cause it basically contains nothing of substance. All I know is that Virgil is a flirty man, anyway enjoy some trash!!

First | Previous | Next

words: 3221

summary: Its Virgils birthday!

pairings: Eventual logicality, prinxiety, platonic demus, romantic remile

warnings: Murder mention, child murder, Law and Courtroom, swearing, blood, hospital, crime scene, murder, gun mention, guns, swearing, abuse, graphic descriptions, alcohol, blood mention

Ao3 Link

“Lo?” Patton shakes the lawyer softly, his coat tickling his face softly. Logan startles awake, his glasses falling carefully upon his lopsided face.

“E! Equals Mc scared!” He exclaims, Virgil groans from across the room toppling over to where Remy snores. “What time is it” Logan murmurs, sitting up as he adjusts his glasses. The knot tightens as Patton watched Logan adapt to the morning. His face flustered as the lawyer looked his way. “Oh, good morning Patton” Logan greets.

“Hi” He barely squeaks, he shakes himself out before extending his hand to Logan. Once their fingers connect, a quick warmth spreads over them, their bubble returns locking them safely away from the world. Soon Remy snores himself awake, pop! Patton watches as the bubble crumbles around them. “W-what happened here?” He questions, turning away from Logan.

“The case!” Virgil remembers “Patton! We have something to show you!” He rushes, swiftly taking Patton's hand unbeknownst to the quiet panic that flows over Patton. The relief when Virgil releases him is almost too much, its silly he knows but its a reflex. “Ok, we stayed up all night working on this” He shows Patton the board

“It was all a lie?” Patton reads, his soft eyes tracing the plethora of evidence. “What does that mean?” He inquires, the others turn to each other not sure how to respond. “You all need sleep” Patton decides, he adjusts his scarf making his way towards the door.

“Pat, come on” Logan begs, the lawyer turns cocking his head. “This has to mean something, I believe you ok?” Logan states Patton swallows. “George is innocent”

You'd think after months of fighting tooth and nail, Patton would gleam at those words. But as his eyes fell upon Logans, his entire body felt exhausted, defeated from the battle. Should he never emerge victorious he had already lost, lost something so special, nothing else compared.

“Maybe, but it doesn't matter now” Patton laments “Nothing we can do” He watches the board, a heavyweight places itself upon his chest. Pushing deeply as it constricts his every movement. He sees the others want to say more, after all, they had spent all night, sloppily theorizing. However, the doors opened as two small pairs of feet ran towards him.

“Papa!” Valerie cries jumping into her father's arms. Patton embraces her freely, preparing as Remus joins him, allowing himself to sit in Patton's other arm. After a brief shriek of laughter and moment of kisses, Patton smiles at Emile.

“Thank you so much for taking them last night” Patton gestures, wanting to never let this moment end. The dream he’d held for so long, sometimes he wondered how it ever became a reality. How he, out of all people, was blessed with children.

“Liam?” Patton calls listening as the door squeaked open, a piercing yet familiar sound. After a pause with no response, the lawyer stood from his desk, feeling lightheaded during this dark hour. He pushes through the house, stumbling blindly, a quick fear as rustles happen. He shakes his head allowing a quick smile to spread across his face. “Nothing to fear, I'm safe” He lies

“Cupcake?” A voice from out of the empty dark calls out, Patton really hated the nickname. Oh, how selfish that was. A sweet nickname, a sweet person and Patton hated it.

“Over here” He replies, his hands searching the wall finally reaching the lights. Allowing them to flicker awake. “Hi” He smiles softly, Liam grunts practically tripping over himself as he reaches the couch. Patton leans over, kissing his forehead carefully, adjusting his partner's hair.

“Beer” Liam requests, paying no mind to the kind gesture Patton performs. He could smell the alcohol practically wafting off of Liam, but it was late and he didn't have the energy to...run if need be. Once he returns with his opener, he sits. “What?” Liam mutters as Patton watches him expectantly.

“I was wondering if you had any more time to think...about what I asked you?” Patton began slow, making sure to keep his words simple. Liam huffs, rolling his tired eyes.

“You think you can raise children?” Liam mocks, Patton looks to the window, something comforting about the way the stars twinkled. It reminded him of someone, he couldn't pin it. He smiles again, a facade arises.

“I do, and I think you can too” Patton hopes, more convincing himself really.

“Then you are a fool and really naive if you think that pursuing this is a good thing” Liam finishes, the beer emptied before Patton can process his words. He tumbles as he makes his way mumbling angry to the room. A practically shattered Patton remains, the softest of tears fall from his eyes.

“Patton?” Logan waves gently in front of his face. The lawyer blinks before the lights come back on behind his eyes. He shakes slightly adjusting to his surroundings, shooting a quick look to his children.

“Sorry, must've spaced out!” He smiles shaky, nervous laughter practically pouring from him. “I'm really sorry but I have to go” he announces, the twin's yawn, leaning safely into their father. They loved Emile, they loved all of their dad's friends, but no place, no home, no person would ever feel as safe as Patton. Before he goes, Patton spins on his heel to face Virgil. “Hey, don't forget, my house this Thursday, birthday dinner” He reminds, Virgil bites down a smirk but nods

“You know it” He nods, almost excited at the prospect of some normalcy to return to his life. For almost the entire time he and Patton knew one another, Virgil would spend his birthday evenings at Patton's house. The lawyer would cook an extravagant meal full of the detectives' favorite foods, he would give him gifts and shower him with praises. It didn't change once the kids arrived, it simply improved. No matter what happened during the day, that was set. Breakfast with Roman, lunch with Logan perhaps. A quick ‘Happy Birthday Virge’ from either sure, but Patton's house, seven pm sharp? That was set in stone, and should they grow old, and expand their families far and wide. Virgil knew...it would always be like that.

~~~

“And...done!” Roman cheers to himself, the rough tips of his fingers simply begging for a break. He marvels at his creation, nodding satisfied as he places the gift delicately in his drawer. Making sure its kept safe and hidden until Thursday.

“Judge Reial?” A rasped knock at the door beckons Roman's attention. His gaze falls upon a man waiting at his arch. He stands smiling as the man approaches. “I'm judge James McCoy” He greets, shaking his extended hand. A firm yet soft touch, a quick shiver as they part both sitting once more. “It's an honor to meet you” James admits, Roman feels his face arise. The heat spreading quickly, surely this was a joke?

“Likewise?” He tries, James chuckles. A deep boom, so smooth it moved across Roman pleasantly.

“Apologies, I just transferred here. I've read about your work...I mean you're incredible in court.” Roman had to wonder if he had the wrong person, he was just...himself. “I was requested to come here for a case, then I was offered a job and I wasn't going to miss the opportunity to work with you” He gushes, Romans blush only grows.

“That's so sweet thank you” Roman finds his bearings, a coy smile upon his face. “I mean, I get it all the time” He jokes, mission successful as yet another smile and laugh falls from James’s mouth. “Surely you didn't just move out here for me?”

“Don't flatter yourself” James teases, a smirk upon his face. Roman bites his lip stifling a laugh. “No I mean, I was iffy about taking the job but then my partner….he broke up with me so...new start ya know?” James explains, a raw honesty to his words. Roman nods, trying not to get excited at the developments as they unfold.

“Would you like to have lunch?” Roman blurts, a new sparkle in his eyes. James purses his lips “Thought we could maybe get to know each other” He proposes, Jame wants to hide his smile but his lips have their own mind.

“I'd love nothing more” James agrees, he collects his things at the ring of his phone standing as he goes. “It has been an absolute pleasure” He extends his hand once more, once again tickling Roman with possibility. “Lunch” He finalizes

“Lunch” Roman swoons, his back melting into the chair once more. He can feel his feet tap below him, dancing as the ideas sing throughout his mind.

“Hey Ro” Patton smiles through the door, Roman ushers him in. “You look giddy, what's up?” An uncertain expression befalls the lawyer, Roman shrugs into a shimmy.

“I just met someone” Roman marvels, realizing just how weird his insides felt. It felt like he had reverted ten years, a shiny new judge, he was dumb and easy to trick. He tripped over himself to be seen, and now here he was. People wanted to meet him, to see him. And for what? He wasn't some here, he wasn't this outstanding citizen. He sent people to jail, to spend the rest of their lives suffering.

“Bad people Ro” Virgil would take his hand, their words in whispers as Damian snuggled against them snoring softly. Roman wouldn't dare meet his eyes, fear of falling apart under their caring honesty. They weren't pools of dark mystery, they were swirling clouds of determination and ambition. Virgil's eyes radiated all he conquered, Roman loved them.

“What if they weren't bad? What if I made a mistake” He fears, the words only rising in panic. Virgil cups his face, his gentle hands tracing Romans almost perfect features. “What if I'm just like...him?” Roman dreads even the idea, but he knew it was always there. Forcing its way through the blockade. Virgil leans forward, taking Roman's lips on his own, knowing full well the judge would melt into the gesture. That for just this moment he would feel loved.

“You're not your father Roman, you never will be” Virgil assures, digging the point as far as he can. “Just this conversation, your concerns now, prove that. You care” He identifies, Roman wants to cry, but because for once in his life, he believes that maybe just maybe he really isn't. That all of his efforts and work, paid off. He is not his father.

Roman should feel sad, he misses Virgil so much. His stomach tug as even the slightest thing causes him to reminisce. But he's not, he loves Damian and he...cares for Virgil. Knowing that he's safe means the world. And something just cleared for him when Virgil uttered the words. As though he finally understood. He was...almost free. Should Virgil ever want to pursue him again or not, Roman would…

“Be ok” Roman mumbles, Patton stops his rocking of the stroller, the twins remain sleeping. “I'll be ok” He gleams. Patton forces a smile, nodding proudly of his friend. I wonder what that's like.

“That's good Ro, I'm proud of you” Patton squeezes his hand, his gaze returning to his source of joy. The twins sprawled across the stroller, sleeping carefully, cuddled with their respective stuffed toys.

“I...have a date!” He tilts his head, uneasy smile “Kind of?” He questions, Patton laughs.

“Oh?” He wonders, biting his lips as Virgil's name appears in his head.

“He's a judge, he just transferred here, he's cute and we are having lunch together” Roman finishes, drumming the desk lightly. “Guess too fast is my middle name!” He jokes, Patton swallows as his own words trail his mind, the crushing look Logan gave him replaying like an old station.

“Light and breezy” Patton nods slowly.

“Light and breezy!” Roman sings, feeling genuine, deep-rooted happiness. Unaware of the fragile demeanor of the lawyer across from him, as his world threatens to crumble, the regrets of everything he's ever done in his mind. The desperation as his heart aches to him, calling out to Logan, the phrase ‘miss so much’ we an understatement. He yearned for something he left of his own will, what an absolute...idiot he was.

Don't get emotional Patton

~~~

“I will be there soon Pat...yeah I love you too” Virgil chuckles, stuffing the phone into his pocket as he pushes through the door into the precinct. The still quiet of the building causing unease in the detective so used to the bustling bounces of the room. He turns into the room fully expecting to have the frozen solitude to himself, alas as the lights flicker on he releases a soft gasp. “Roman?” He whispers. The judge stands idle by Virgil's desk, a small amber box alight in his hands.

“Hey” He smiles, the exhaustion under his eyes visible.

“What are you...what are you doing here?” Virgil questions, their voices remain ever so soft.

“Happy birthday” He rushes, skipping a few steps. Virgil's eyes widen as he nods, taking a step forward. Roman looks enchanting under the dim lights, his aura blazing passion.

“You remembered?” He's not sure why he questions it every time, Roman has never forgotten his birthday. He's never had a reason to assume someone, especially his friends would forget, and yet he lives in fear.

“Of course” Roman laughs so sweetly, it barely makes a sound “December nineteenth, you were born at exactly six forty four pm. You didn't cry at first so your mom was pretty worried, but it turns out you were just a little shy” He chuckles, neither understand why there are tears making their way down the men's cheeks. “You were a pretty light baby. Your favorite birthday was your sixteenth when your mom took you to a concert for the first time, but your sixth comes pretty close after you got to tag along with your dad on a case” Roman recites, the absolute adoration flooding his eyes. “You always spend your evenings with Patton, no matter what.” Roman moves closer, allowing the distance between them to circulate warmth.

“What are you doing?” Virgil hopes, maybe a little too much that he gets closer.

“I have a gift…” Roman's eyes move towards Virgil's lips “For you” He states, carefully he lifts it placing it in the detective's palm. “I know its small but uh...happy birthday Virge,” He says, overwhelming conviction. Virgil carefully undoes the ribbon, the paper falling with it. Virgil sucks in, his breath falling short. A small cloud, with lighting coming out of it, sits at the bottom of the box. “It's a worry stone, carved like a storm cloud”

“Because I'm your storm cloud?” Virgil groans, a knowing smirk. Roman laughs nodding sweetly.

“Because you are my storm cloud” Roman leans in stopping himself, he knows he's going to regret his next move but he takes his waist and locks their lips. Virgil allows it to happen, his arms snaking their way around Roman's neck.

“What was that?” Virgil questions, not entirely opposed to the idea, his arms remaining.

“Think of it as a breakup kiss, and a birthday present” He shrugs, Virgil chuckles shakily. “I have a proposition,” He says removing his arms, taking hold of Virgil's hands.

“Oh do tell” Virgil plays with Romans fingers in his own.

“You say we’re moving too fast then let's start again. From the top, Virge you're basically my best friend” Roman can't keep still, Virgil feels the warmth spread as he stays safe in his arms. “I'm not gonna let that slip away, and I'm not gonna let Damian slip away. Come on, I know you miss me” Roman teases, Virgil pouts stretching Romans arms behind him, he leans in planting a kiss on Roman.

“Maybe just a lil bit” Virgil states, Roman, shakes his head still smiling.

“Virge...I'm serious” Roman begs, Virgil nods allowing him to continue. “I wanna do this right, please” He requests, Virgil has no qualms.

“Yes of course” He purses his lips feeling Romans phone buzz, he smirks coyly, removing it from his back pocket. Roman barely puts up a fight. “Oh? Who's James?” Virgil wonders, Roman rolls his eyes “Come on best friend, whos the dude, I bet-” Roman leans in kissing him

“We can start tomorrow” Roman tries to grab his phone back but Virgil lifts above his head shaking it. He takes it scrolling through the previous texts giggling after each one, a contagious joy spread from the two. And before the hour strikes seven, it's just them in their delighted aura.

~~~

“I think alcohol might have been a bad idea” Roman jokes, Logan grunts sitting down as he simply takes another sip of his drink. “Come on Lo, we should head home” Roman suggests, feeling the high of Virgil's lips upon his own drain away

“Im...going to propose to Patton” Logan decides, he flops on the couch, the music quiets as the people around him continue. Roman guffaws, a bellowed laugh.

“Yeah, alright Logan. I think you have to be dating first” Roman takes a calm sip of his drink, observing the world around him. Logan

“I'm not kidding Roman” Logan sits up, adjusting his glasses “I've known him for ten years. I practically know everything about him” Logan shrugs “I know he takes his coffee with cream and two sugars, a hint of cinnamon. I know that his favorite color is the rainbow because it changes every day. I know today its violet for Virgil's birthday. I know that he checks on the twins at least three times before going to bed himself. I know that there are only two people who can touch him without causing him to flinch. I know that when he balls his fists he digs his nails so deep into his skin he draws blood.” Roman doesn't want to listen anymore, his heart hurts as he watches Logan defeated

“Logan you do-”

“I know that turtlenecks provide him some sense of comfort as they wrap in warm coziness. I also know he used to use them to hide scars” Logan takes a shattered breath “I know that when he kisses me my heart beats a million times faster…” Logan rubs his forehead frustrated “I know that he can never have his eyes or hands away from the twins. And I know that...that” He pauses sucking in his huffed tears

“Logan? What?” Roman wants more

“I just like him so much” Logan moans, sprawling across Roman. “I wanna give him butterfly kisses” He pouts, Roman laughs stroking the lawyers head gently. “Do you know what those are? With the eyes?” His pout only furthers, as tears well in his eyes. He clutches to the pillow, his glasses drooping.

“I know bud, I know” He whispers carefully, not wishing to ruin the night further. Its funny, Roman had only seen Logan like this once before, and it was also about Patton. It's almost ironic in a way.

“Mm, my phone is buzzing” Logan mumbles, his arm making grabby towards the device. Roman takes it for him, asking him to put in his code. “What's happening?” He mutters into the couch pillow. Roman reads, the grin slowly disappearing.

Logan, please help

Patton was being vague, and Roman couldn't handle that

107 notes · View notes

justhereforseverus · 5 years ago

Text

A Rose by any Other Name Would Smell as Sweet

Miserable_toad

Chapter 13: But break, my heart; for I must hold my tongue.

Summary:

Hogwarts is busy and you don't see Severus as much as you want to. But one cold night an opportunity arises. In addition, Severus has found the perpetrator of the classroom-destruction and he's not happy about it. Remus and you are also looking forward to the Yule Ball.

Notes:

Ok, that took a while. Sorry for the delay! Originally, I wanted to include the Yule Ball scene in that chapter, too but decided against it in the end. I didn't want to rush writing that very important day in the lives of Severus and the reader ;D

I still feel very awkward writing kissing scenes and stuff. But I hope it's not too cringy.

Thank you so much for reading and your kudos! Comments always appreciated <3

The next weeks went away in a blur. There was so much work and it wasn’t exactly helping that Dumbledore had left for a business trip for three weeks. The consequence of that was that Severus and Minerva split the headmaster’s work among them. Thus, me and Severus only saw each other at the drama sessions and occasionally for lunch or dinner in our private quarters. I missed him dearly and hoped that we would see us more often again in the near future.

One day, the ghosts added additional drama into the mix. They’ve managed to break through a water line while having a secret party. We all awoke with half of our classrooms under water. Despite our magical abilities, it still took the whole day to clean up the mess and put everything in order. I returned to my quarters late, exhausted and with a nasty headache. However, insomnia decided to disrupt my need for rest and I just shuffled around uselessly on my bed. I put on my coat and went outside for a walk but it was cloudy and rather cold. Winter had made its arrival quickly and I dare say that autumn was way too short to be enjoyed. The weather only made me more depressed, so I returned inside. In that moment, I saw Severus coming out of the great hall and decided to say hello.

“Hey, Severus.” – I uttered still freezing. Maybe I can catch him for a bit longer than an hour or so this time. Severus looked elegant and handsome as always but his eyes looked tired. Despite his ever-going desire to always look cool and controlled it seemed like the last weeks of additional work had taken its toll on him, too.

His eyebrow rose when he saw me and he asked: “Still awake?”

I smiled, “Yes, but I could ask you the same question.”

“Well, Filch was bothering me with some rebelling students in the great hall.” He sighed, looked back and continued: “But it seems like our caretaker cannot tell the difference between a lost bird and human beings.” After he shifted his gaze back at me, his forehead furrowed: “You look like you’re freezing. Were you outside?”

“Yes. I couldn’t sleep but I guess the season of pleasant night-walks is over. Now, I need a fire to turn to.” – I told him, pulling my coat closer together.

Severus mouth curved into a cheeky smile when he offered me the following: “May I suggest the one in my quarters? It would be my pleasure.”

“Yes, absolutely!” – I beamed.

He looked around. We were alone and most of the students have either returned to their quarters or common rooms. He took my hand and led me to his quarters down in the Slytherin dungeons. Even though he was willing to show affections openly in London, we both somehow agreed, without talking about it, to keep it low at Hogwarts. I also didn’t feel brave enough to directly talk about it. I always dreaded being the one asking the ‘What are we?’ question. Many men have accused me of being clingy, holding naïve expectations and I hated the patronising tone in their voices. With Severus, I just followed with what worked now. I didn’t want to ruin anything. I was scared despite his assurances in the beginning that if he loved again it would only be in a serious relationship.

When we arrived at his quarters, he prepared tea and put the fire on in the fireplace with a quick spell.

“Waaaaarmm” I only uttered while taking a seat in front of the fire.

He scoffed with his signature sarcasm: “Excellent conclusion, Professor. Fire is indeed warm. Some might even argue it’s ‘hot’.” I laughed. But two can play that game, so I replied: “Wow, that��s outrageous! This is science going too far!”

He chuckled and sat next to me. I snuggled into his arm and he held me tight. This felt wonderful, just like coming home. I missed him so dearly during the last couple of weeks. By the looks of it, Severus seemed to feel the same. He was beaming, smiling and petting me softly on my shoulders and arms. It was so cosy and warm. After a while I told him: “I never thought I’d spend my evenings like this at Hogwarts. I could get used to it. Maybe I’ll even enjoy winter like that.”

“Not fan of snow and Christmas?” – he asked curiously.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong I LOVE Christmas but the cold and the dark and everything.. not so much. It’s depressing really. I like the spooky tones of autumn and Halloween but winter is.. heavy and frustrating somehow.” Thinking to myself, I often dreaded that seasonal depression also exists among wizards without a cure. In the end, I rather enjoyed a good and fine summer day than a day of heavy winter numbness. But to each his own.

He nodded. “I see your point. For me, it’s not much of a difference really. At least in winter, many students stay indoors and refrain from walking illegally on the grounds after dark. Either way…I agree, I certainly could enjoy winter.. like this.” He closed his eyes and leaned his head on mine. He seemed relaxed and happy and that meant everything to me. We talked a bit about the last weeks and how he wished Dumbledore would return soon. Apparently, Minerva is rather annoyed with the whole affair as she didn’t think his trip was necessary. After we had done enough ranting about our day, I was longing to ask something different.

“Severus?”

“Yes?”

“A while ago, you mentioned you had one or two ‘unpleasant experiences’. Would you… like to talk to me about it? I just.. I want to get to know you better and it seemed like it was important to you.”

He was quiet at first and looked up in deep thought. Then he said: “It’s difficult… for me to talk about these events. You might have noticed I’m what people call a ‘buttoned-up’ person. But don’t think I don’t want to share these memories with you. I do. Maybe I just need more time. I’m sorry.”

I took his hand and said: “It’s fine! Really. I respect and understand that. Do you want me to tell you anything we haven’t talked about before?”

He said in a cautious tone: “You mentioned your last relationship..”

“Yes right…” I pondered about how to tell the boring story. “It’s not much to say, really. He always had to have the upper hand. He looked down on me and my passions, my interests, my concerns. In the end, he showed a complete disinterest in my life. I should’ve taken this as a sign to leave but I stayed because.. well we’ve been together for so long. It can’t end that way, can it? He made me feel like I was annoying, clingy, selfish and I believed him. I thought, something must have been wrong with me. I needed to improve. But even my improvement was not enough, which basically was me trying to become his ‘perfect girl’; always doing what he wants, listening to all his problems while staying quite on mine, being attentive and subservient. Yet, after he yelled at me in public calling me an ‘ungrateful bitch’ …I left. I couldn’t take it anymore. I know I was dumb to let all of that happen but…. I’m a very loyal person, forgiving and forgetting and all that. I’ve learned my lesson but I still have his voice in my head. The one telling me everything I do is wrong. I know it’s stupid but..I don’t know..”

Severus had listened attentively and with concern. He turned towards me and put his hand on my cheek: “It’s not. Stop putting yourself down. When you live with this for years it’s ingrained in you. He abused you emotionally and this leaves scares which take years to heal. The first step is certainly not putting yourself even lower than he did. You didn’t do this to yourself it was him.” I was close to tears after hearing this. I moved closer to Severus and kissed him. I didn’t know what to say nor how to say it but I knew I wanted to feel him. To thank him with my affections for understanding and not judging. He put his arms around me and held me close. Neither of us committed to let go of the other.

Our bliss was broken by a loud bang of the clock that signified it was indeed very late now. Slowly, the exhaustion of earlier crept back into my bones. But I didn’t want to leave, yet. I asked: “Severus, I know it’s late but somehow I don’t want to go. Can I… stay with you, here? Not for like.. necessarily having sex.. now. I’m really tired but I want to just stay with you.”

He studied my face for a while with a rather puzzling expression but then said: “I don’t want you to go either.” I went to my quarters to get some pyjamas and brush my teeth and stuff. I changed in his bathroom because it still felt awkward to change in front of him (bit silly, I know) and then went to his bedroom, which had its door wide open now. His bedroom consisted of a big double-bed with velvet green beddings, some dark-wood bookshelves and a huge dark closet. On a bedside table laid some books in a pile and a big Slytherin tapestry had been put on the wall. Severus was sitting unexpectedly shy on the bed in black long cotton pyjamas. He had tied his long hair into a ponytail. I sat next to him and gave him a tight hug. He then put his hand on my waist and after a while we started kissing again. When I lied down on my back, he leaned over me and put his elbows on each side of my torso. We kissed for a while further and I could feel the heat running up between my legs. Yet, I didn’t want to sleep with him for now and I felt like neither did he. I just enjoyed feeling him so closely, so intimately in his most private room. I ran my hands up his chest and put it underneath his shirt to feel his skin. I could feel his muscles and chest hair underneath. He was warm and his skin so soft. I felt his chest rising more rapidly and him breathing faster. He moved away from my face and started kissing my neck. When he was touching a rather sensitive spot there, I couldn’t help but moan. Getting the drift, he continued kissing me there until I laughed heartily. He leaned back and looked at me happily. We just smiled at each other for a while then he rolled to the side and held me close; then said “I highly enjoy this but we probably should catch some sleep.”

“I agree… to both. Though I don’t know if I can sleep with the amount of adrenaline you give to me.”

He chuckled before kissing me again. I turned to the right and he spooned me, kissing my back and wishing me a good night. But one last question came to my mind: “Sev, would you like to go with me to the Yule Ball? You know.. as a date together?” As I couldn’t really see him, I was quite nervous to hear no reply for some seconds. Finally, he said: “I’ve never had a date for that event. I’d be delighted to.” I beamed “Thank you, good Night, Sev” I uttered before we both feel into a peaceful sleep.

I had to schedule some more rehearsal dates this week as usual as we got closer and closer to the holidays and our final performance. We’ve been through the entire play and the students have become so much better. However, some things still needed additionally instructions and we needed more time. Sadly, that also meant that Severus couldn’t attend some of the additional rehearsals because Dumbledore was expected to come back next week the earliest. I missed his presence behind me and his occasional commenting on how to improve certain scenes.

At the moment, our leading role, played by a young Hufflepuff boy, struggled with Hamlet’s angry solitude after he promised his uncle and his mother to stay in Denmark. He didn’t understand why Hamlet wasn’t more open in direct confrontation with his uncle instead of holding his tongue. Despite him being deep in mourning, he let the king scold him about his unmanly grief. I hope I could make him understand what the reasons were and that it’s always difficult to criticise people with immense power.

On Friday evening, I received a letter from Severus telling me to come to his classroom as soon as I could. I was worried and rushed there immediately. When I entered the classroom, Severus stood leaning onto his desk looking quite troubled. He just said: “I know who it was.”

It took some time for me to get what he meant. He meant the person who destroyed my classroom. It didn’t seem like good news though…

“Who?”

“Draco Malfoy. And you can conclude yourself whose boy that is.”

“fuck…”

“Yes, indeed. I had my suspicions but no proof. However, during my potions class today, he bragged to his classmates that he’d plan another attack. Or maybe he wanted me to know and looked for my approval. I’ve talked to him and made the opposite clear. I don’t think he will go through with that particularly pathetic plan but.. there’s not much I can do.” He sighed heavily.. “I’ve talked to Lucius just now but I can’t go as harsh as I want to. I gave him detention that he likely won’t attend because Lucius will find some excuse or other to slither his way out as before. I’ve taken house points but that isn’t important to him. Lucius power as school benefactor is too big. And Albus is as uncooperative as always. He thinks it’s not worth the trouble if he hasn’t killed anyone. His absence right now doesn’t make it any better.”

I shook my head and was shocked. I didn’t think our headmaster would push that aside so easily nor protect certain students in that way. I told Severus that Dumbledore had always supported me but I reckoned even Hogwarts needed money from those kind of benefactors.

Severus retorted harshly: “It’s not even that. It’s also the connections. Lucius is a master in manipulating everyone to his favour. The minister thinks highly of him. He respects me to a certain degree but because I’ve changed over the years and he stayed very much the same his goodwill towards me has decreased. He also finally catches the drift that he can’t manipulate me. I’ve seen through his tricks. Lucius is terribly predictably even when he thinks he is so clever. But..” and here he clenched his hands digging his nails into the desk “We can’t shut him down. We can’t throw him out of the parent’s counsel. We can’t punish his son too harshly because he’ll twist it into a conspiracy and damage our reputation with the state. Albus knows this, everyone knows this and thus we must comply. It’s the same old story and I’m so.. sick.. of.. IT.” He looked away from me and I could feel his frustration and anger despite his utmost control. I stepped closer to him but was taken back by a stern “Don’t.”

What to do now? I sincerely just wanted to hug him and somehow comfort him and said: “Severus, I can see you’re angry and frustrated. So am I. But we will just go on. We’ll prove them wrong. And now that we know who it was we can both outsmart this boy and his following. It’ll be ok. You’re everything but powerless.”

He scoffed without looking up: “That’s what you seem to believe despite it all?”

“Yes, and it’s true.”

“I can’t get him off the school. I can’t get anyone off here. No bully and swine that roams these halls will be punished. I can give detention or take house points but what does it really change for those who have power? Nothing! I’m older. I’m the teacher and yet I can’t change a goddamn thing and so many people are just looking away and.. I..” And here something made him stop his tracks and he uttered: “Please. Leave me alone for a while.”

“No.” I thought to myself that I couldn't leave him like this.

He looked surprised at my refusal and chuckled in a sad way: “I’m not asking.”

“And I’m not your student nor your slave, Severus. You are angry, rightfully so and it’s ok to show this. I want to get to know you more and I want to share the feelings you feel. It’s fine with me. You don’t have to pretend. You’re not weak in showing emotions and expressing them. You don’t need to be in control all the time. Just let me get close to you. Let’s scream and shout and be angry together and then we’ll find a solution. You are not alone anymore. I won’t look away. I’m here, please!” – and I started sobbing because I didn’t want him to feel like he can’t do these things. I didn’t want him to feel powerless or alone or useless. He is the most wonderful person and I wanted to give him and myself hope.

Severus still didn’t look at me, his long hair hid his face. I stepped towards him and hugged him tight, kissed him softly on his cheeks. I was ready to be pushed away but that didn’t happen. I felt him shaking. After a while, he put his arms around me, regaining his composure a bit, hugging me tightly. He continued to hide his face by hugging me and that was ok. I’ve never seen him that vulnerable before. He always seemed to know better, to be prepared. But here he let himself be unreasonable. And that meant the world to me.

After a while, he let go of the hug and faced me again after adjusting his hair. He looked tired, his face was wet so he might have been crying just like me. But there was a kind and loving smile on his face. He kissed me lovingly and then just whispered:“Thank you.”

We talked after this and agreed we’d continued rehearsing and preparing the play. In addition to our current security plans, we might hire some of the prefects of other houses to stand guard as they were more keen on standing up to Slytherin. Also, we talked about how we could punish Malfoy’s boy without drawing attention to us. Nothing too harsh of course. Yet, we both can definitely outsmart him. Severus seemed to have regained his usual composure, his snarkiness and sarcasm. I think all this brought us closer together and I felt like he trusted me more.

Finally, Dumbledore returned and Severus was discharged of his additional administrational tasks. It was also the week of the Yule Ball and everyone was busy thinking about dresses and dates. It’s a weird that the ball is named after Yule but takes place much earlier than the actual Yule time. No one knew why it simply wasn’t renamed. Traditions be like that.

The evening before the ball, Remus and I met up to show off our outfits and catch up on the latest gossip. He stood in front of me with a very fine and elegant brown Victorian suit, which he wore with a silk dark yellow cravat. The colour combination worked well on him though I personally wouldn’t have chosen something like that for myself. I nodded in approval and told him: “What a fine gentleman we have here! You look exquisitely handsome. Sirius will be pleased to have you as a dance partner.” Remus bowed jokingly and replied: “Thank you, thank you! Yes, he’s one lucky guy indeed. But come one, now it’s your turn!” I went into the bathroom to change into my chosen dress. It was a long, slim dress made of dark-blue silk with star constellations stitched upon it. I had a fitting blue jacket in case it gets too cold. I also wore a golden necklace with a (fake) diamond star pendant and a simple golden bracelet. What can I say? I just like stars and it’s quite fitting with the Ravenclaw theme, too. I put my hair into a chignon and put my pearl (once again fake, I’m poor) earrings in. When I came out to model for Remus he just gasped and exclaimed: “OMG our little Ravenclaw star! You look very beautiful! Severus is a lucky man.”

I turned around playfully a couple of times more and then said: “I sure hope so…. Maybe he’ll gets discouraged though when I mess up the first dance with him..”

Remus jokingly threw a lose grape in my direction: “Oh shut it! We’ve practiced so much this week. You’ll be fine! Believe me! Just look him lovingly in the eyes and he’ll forget about everything anyway.” He winked and refilled my glass of champagne. We talked for some hours more, guessing everyone’s date and exchanging stories about our classes being obsessed of finding the right partner. Remus was glad Minerva decided to give all houses dancing lessons as Severus and Flitwick continued to ignore the pleas of their students to teach them more about it. I had to admit, I was very nervous and excited for the next day..

#pro snape #severus snape #snape x reader #ao3 #fanfiction

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chubbyooo · 5 years ago

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The Road to Redemption - A Blurred Lines Spinoff Chapter 6 - Looking Past Grief

last chap that's gonna be chill vibes just sayin :PPP

Kavaraa finishes her lightsaber and an opportunity arises

It had been a couple weeks but Kavaraa had finally got all the parts together for her new saber, she hadn’t heard from Theron in that time and was starting to worry but understood they had to be scarce. Master Syo had limited parts but she’d managed to pick out some nice parts she thought would make a good hilt, it was much more ornamental than her least hilt which she was excited about.

She laid the parts across the workbench and placed the black crystal in between them, she was a little nervous she hadn’t wielded a lightsaber since she fought Vaylin, the vision of losing so badly still fresh in her brain she didn’t know if she was ready. But Master Yuon believed in her and she trusted her Kavaraa closed her eyes and focussed on each of the parts, she calmed her mind thinking of the order and all that she’d done and what she was doing this for. She thought of how far Arcann had come and the strides they’d taken and then she thought of Theron she knew he’d be ok he’d promised, she took a deep breath as the parts came together and slotted into place.

She opened her eyes and saw the saberstaff floating in front of her, she took it and turned it on, the black blade shot out a quiet hum echoing in the workshop illuminated in a faint pink light. She spun it around in a quick flourish, feeling natural in her hand and smiled she had to admit she had missed this, she was about to turn it off when she heard someone open the door.

Arcann walked in and was startled trying to hide something he was holding “Master K-Kavaraa I-I didn’t realise you were in here” he tried to hide it behind him but wasn’t very good at it

Kavaraa frowned at him “yeah I was building myself a new lightsaber” she gestured to it “do you like it?” she held it out she had to admit she was quite proud

Arcann nodded “yes it’s quite pretty, I think it represents you very well” he smiled still holding something behind his back

Kavaraa raised her eyebrow “so Arcann are you going to tell me what’s behind your back” Arcann’s eyes widened but he quickly conceded knowing he couldn’t hide it

He took a set of armour out from behind him “Busted, I guess I can give it to you now though I was planning on waiting until I was ready” he showed the armour set it looked much like the knight of Zakuul’s armour only in Kavaraa’s colours “I wanted to make you something to thank you for all your help and I noticed you didn’t have any armour and I didn’t want you getting hurt so I made you some armour, do you like the colour?” Kavaraa’s mouth hung open she’d never gotten a gift like this

She smiled taking it “I love it Arcann thank you so much” she put it on over her jumpsuit “wow it fits like a glove” Arcann nodded smiling before Kavaraa pulled him into a tight hug “thanks so much Arcann” Arcann was completely surprised

He fidgeted awkwardly “uh ah um thanks you’re welcome” Kavaraa continued to hug him as he struggled “I felt like I had to repay you for all you’ve done” Kavaraa let him go with a smile

Kavaraa beamed at him “thanks Arcann this is very sweet” she cocked her head “how are you feeling about going back” Arcann took a deep sigh

He looked at her “I… I’m prepared to do it, I’m not better by any means but Master Syo has taught me how to let go of my grief when it surfaces, I will be able to help” Kavaraa smiled she was proud of how far he’d come

Kavaraa put a hand on his shoulder “I’ll be right here don’t worry you can count on me, I just hope you can get through to Nox” Arcann nodded folding his arms

He frowned “that is going to be tough but I think she’ll come around with the right pushing” Kavaraa nodded and was about to respond when Theron’s comm lit up

Kavaraa gasped quickly answering “Theron is that you I haven’t spoken to you in weeks is everything ok???” she was more frantic than she realised

Theron responded “I’m really sorry about that I couldn’t communicate with the rest of the galaxy, it’s a long story but the long and short of it is we got the gravestone back and dealt with SCORPIO” that was a long story she didn’t know where to begin

Arcann spoke up “and my sister I sensed her in conflict?” Kavaraa frowned he hadn’t told her that

Kavaraa clarified “oh yeah Theron, Arcann is here” Kavaraa realised this would be damming if they were traced but it was a little late for that

Theron sighed “right well yes she’s fine she escaped back to the throne while the Commander dealt with SCORPIO” Kavaraa assumed that meant death knowing Nox

Kavaraa breathed a sigh of relief “SCORPIO was the brains behind Vaylin’s operation without her she’s likely to slip up” she hoped anyway

Theron chuckled “that’s exactly right and well we’re taking advantage of that as Vaylin is throwing a party at Zakuul and we’re going to infiltrate it and try to corner her” Kavaraa’s eyes widened this could be it “and I was thinking we wouldn’t mind a little backup in the form of Arcann” Arcann looked to Kavaraa for her opinion

Arcann held his chin “I could but I’m not quite sure if I’m ready what do you think” Kavaraa nodded with a smile

She responded “He’s doing much better I think he could handle it and I would say helping the Alliance corner Vaylin is just about the most convincing thing you can do” Arcann nodded definitely agreeing with that

Theron seemed to agree too “Yes that’s one of the reasons I called, I will say I don’t think the commander would be able to accept you both at once so Kavaraa I’m sorry but we may need to wait on you” Kavaraa breathed a sigh of relief she was about to suggest the same

Kavaraa agreed “oh absolutely I was gonna say the same thing” she was glad they were on the same wavelength and she didn’t have to fight Vaylin

Theron seemed satisfied “Ok great I’ll send you the coordinates and time and look after yourselves, both of you” Kavaraa smiled as the comm shut off

Kavaraa turned to Arcann “are you sure you’re ready for this?” Arcann took a long deep breath

He nodded “yes I think so, I can’t keep living in isolation if I am truly to forgive myself I must return to the real world” Kavaraa smiled she was proud of how far he’d come but was a little worried still “and this plan your boyfriend has come up with sounds like a good idea using Vaylin’s ego against her” Kavaraa went turquoise did everyone think they were dating?

Kavaraa shook her head “Arcann he’s not my boyfriend we’re just friends nothing like that has happened I mean I don’t even know if he’d like it” Arcann frowned at her

He took a second “sorry I just assumed because the way you talk about him, how you worry and your closeness I do apologize” Kavaraa looked away embarrassed even emotionally stunted Arcann realised she liked Theron was she that obvious. Arcann continued “Anyway I believe I’m ready to face my sister I’ll give her a chance to stop this… but I understand that with the power she has it’s unlikely we can sway her” Arcann looked away sad

Kavaraa put a hand on his shoulder “are you ready for that eventuality” Arcann looked down not making eye contact for a second

He nodded “I have to be, I’m as much to blame as everyone else I’ll try my best to but that’s all I can do” Kavaraa comforted him, she personally didn’t know what she’d do about Vaylin she was still so scared by her so it was hard to think rationally

Kavaraa took his hand “come on if we’re leaving we have to say goodbye to Master Syo” she led him to Master Syo’s house where he was making tea

He looked over and smiled “ah Kavaraa, Arcann care to join me for tea” Kavaraa would never pass up an opportunity like that

She nodded “sure but we’ve actually come to talk to you” Master Syo raised his eyebrow “Arcann is needed to help with the fight against the eternal empire so this may be goodbye for now” Master Syo nodded his smile not wavering

He sipped his tea “I’m glad he feels ready to go back out, I must say even though I was clambering for you to leave when you got here I’ll miss the both of you” Kavaraa smiled she felt much better now that she came here

Arcann took his tea “I’ll miss you too Master Syo you’ve taught me so much I owe you a lot” Master Syo shook his head dismissing the comment

He lightly laughed “no no you don’t owe me anything I’m merely making up for my past mistakes we really helped each other” Kavaraa sipped her tea that was probably true

Kavaraa smiled at him warmly “I’ll miss you Master Syo you’ll always be one of my greatest teachers I owe you a lot, I hope when this is all over I can see you again” Master Syo seemed touched by the words while still sipping the tea quietly

Master Syo smiled “that would be nice I think I’d like that” they all sat in silence for a few more seconds

Kavaraa broke the silence “I guess we should get going thanks for everything Master Syo” he nodded as they left the chamber and headed back towards their ship, she wasn’t quite sure how this mission would go but it could be the start of saving the alliance and the commander...

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batskulldrag · 5 years ago

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Phoenix by Fallout Boy

here’s chapter fourteen, sorry for dropping off the grid

Trigger warnings for anxiety attacks and panic attacks. As well as abuse mentions

Also innacurate representation of a court of law. I pieced this together from all my research. But it’s probably wrong

Chapter Fourteen: Burn from the Hamilton soundtrack

Patton buttoned the last button on his suit jacket. The deafening silence was not helping his nerves. He glanced over to Logan who was pacing dazedly from one side of their room to the other.

“I haven’t worn this since my last job interview.” Patton added to the void. “I’m surprised it still fits. I’ve had a lot of cookies since then.”

“What?” Logan stopped walking and looked over as if he had been snapped out of a trance.

“I was just trying to joke.” Patton dismissed it. “Are you ok?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’re stimming.”

“My pacing has nothing to do with Asperger’s.” Logan said quickly and unconvincingly.

“I’m scared too.” Patton looked at his shoes. “Not only does Payton have a lawyer, but he is one!”

“So? He can’t alter reality.” Logan shrugged. “And we have all the evidence. We can stop him from so much as looking at a picture of Virgil ever again.”

“I guess.”

“And I know.” Logan walked over and untied Patton’s tie. “Who taught you how to tie a tie?”

“I never learned how. I was busy and my hands were tied.” Patton smiled.

“I’ll let you have that one.” Logan sighed, retying the tie.

They were interrupted by Virgil screaming. They both sprinted over to him, and Patton burst inside.

Virgil was on the floor beside his bed staring at his arms in horror. Both arms, his face and neck were pink and covered with hives.

“I’ve been nuked!” Virgil yelled in dismay.

“It’s ok.” Patton said more out of instinct than optimism as he ran to Virgil’s side. “It’s probably nothing.”

“Virgil, do the hives itch?” Logan asked, kneeling across from him.

“Yeah?” Virgil replied, confused. “What are they? Am I gonna die?”

“If I had to guess I’d say they were stress induced.” Logan felt his forehead.

“I can’t show up to court looking like this!” Virgil gestured at himself. “They’ll assume stuff!”

“What will they assume?” Logan asked seriously.

“I don’t know! They’ll assume that I’m too stressed out here or something.”

“It’s ok sweetie.” Patton cooed, stroking his hair. “They’re not gonna jump to conclusions.”

“He’s right.” Logan continued. “The only assumption they are going to make is that a young man, who was diagnosed with severe anxiety, is having a reaction to the stress involved in testifying in court.”

“How can you be so sure?” Patton could feel Virgil’s heart pounding.

“I can’t. And I’m not asking you to trust the court, I’m asking you to trust us. We’re not going to let Payton get his hands on you ever again.”

“Sure, but there are limits to what you can actually do about this.” Virgil’s breaths started getting shorter.

“And everything is in our favor.”

“He’s going to deny everything, he’s going to lie about you! He’s not just going to let this slide!”

“I know.” Logan pushed Virgil’s bangs back. “But he’s already been outed as a liar. And no one is going to believe his hearsay arguments so easily. Maybe people are inclined to believe the adult, but nobody believes the liar.”

“But we don’t know what he has up his sleeves.”

“Prison tattoos probably.” Patton chimed in bitterly.

“Payton had better have the infinity gauntlet under there if he wants to win.” Roman said from the doorway.

“How long have you been there?” Logan turned around suddenly

“I heard Virgil scream too.” Roman rolled his eyes. “I just didn’t have anything to add until now.”

“We’re going to find out that you’re just a ghost that haunts this place, aren’t we?” Virgil added.

“That’s the spirit.” Patton impulsively took the opportunity for a dad joke.

“Virgil.” Roman ignored Patton. “I have plenty of make up if you wish to cover up those irritants.”

“No.” Logan interrupted. “Make up would worsen the irritation.”

“I have baby lotion.” Patton smoothed Virgil’s hair back.

“Why?” Virgil looked dismayed.

# # #

“Boop.” Patton enunciated as he smudged a bit of lotion on Virgil’s nose.

Virgil didn’t seem too impressed with that. He just sighed and looked at his arms.

“Ok, Virgil, drink this and then I’ll give you one of your pills.” Logan added, placing a mug of warm milk in front of him.

“What’s this supposed to do?” Virgil asked skeptically.

“It’s supposed to settle your stomach and relax you.” Logan felt his forehead. “Given your history of throwing up when you’re stressed, I don’t want you eating anything heavy. But you shouldn’t be taking your tranquilizers on an empty stomach. And milk, especially warm milk is known to have calming properties.”

“Do you think I need one of the sedatives?” Virgil added, taking a sip of the milk.

“You did kinda break out because of stress, Kiddo.” Patton set the lotion down. “And you’re doing a pretty scary thing today.”

Virgil rested his head on the table and Patton started petting his hair.

“You can still change your mind at any time.” Logan added, putting a hand on Virgil’s shoulder. “You don’t have to do this.”

“I can’t just duck out at the last minute.” Virgil mumbled.

“Quack.” Patton added, looking down at his anxious little baby hopefully.

Virgil didn’t even crack a smile.

“I’m gonna do this even if it’s the last thing I ever do.” Virgil sat up with determination.

“Ok.” Patton wrapped his arms around him. “But you don’t have to. Ok? You don’t need to do anything that will make you uncomfortable.”

“I know.”

“Do you wanna take your bear with you? Or your hoodie? You know, to make you more comfortable.”

“I don’t need a security blanket.” Virgil looked disgusted at the thought. “Can you imagine? If Payton saw me walk up to the stand with a fricking teddy bear, he’d drop his bullshit and start reaming me out right there. I don’t wanna see that.”

“He’d lose the case in an instant though.” Roman added. “It is normally considered bad form to abuse your child in the middle of a custody battle.”

“That’s a valid point.” Logan somehow agreed with Roman. “Payton is completely incapable of hurting you anymore. His hands are tied.”

“Metaphorically?” Virgil looked up at him.

“No, they had him in hand cuffs last time I saw him.”

Virgil laughed at the idea.

“Ok, Kiddo.” Patton kissed him on the forehead. “You go get dressed. And I promise that everything is gonna be ok from now on.”

“How can you be sure?”

“I just can.”

# # #

The courtroom looked exactly like every court room from TV. Patton looked into the gallery and saw several strangers. Roman veered off from them and sat in the gallery as well. He shot them a thumbs up.

“Why are there a bunch of people here?” He quickly whispered to Logan as they sat down at their weird table.

“Most trials are open to the public.” Logan explained. “People can just walk in and sit down.”

“Why would you want to do that?”

“I don’t know. Trials are open to the public barring a specific order from the judge. It’s in accordance with the sixth amendment, a fair and public trial.”

“I don’t know any of those words.” Virgil shuddered from between them.

Logan silently checked Virgil’s pulse and felt his forehead.

“Am I gonna live?” Virgil said flatly.

“Very funny.” Logan sighed. “In half an hour you can have another pill. If you feel like you’re going to have an attack tell one of us.”

“And if you feel like you need to take a break, just say so and we’ll tell the judge.” Patton rubbed his shoulder.

“And deny the spectators such an epic show?” Virgil sneered.

“Never mind them.” Patton shushed.

Virgil dropped his annoyed expression and stared across the room in numb horror. Despite his rash his face went pale and he started panting and wheezing.

“He’s here.” Virgil squeaked.

“Shh,” Patton wrapped himself around Virgil like a shield, making sure to block his line of sight. “It’s ok, he can’t hurt you. Don’t look at him. Just don’t look. He can’t do anything.”

Logan made eye contact with Payton and stared back at him with a blank face. Payton’s empty eyes were no match for the cold stoicism that Logan wore so well. This mere lawyer had no clue how to intimidate him, nor anyone else that realized that he had no power over them. Payton didn’t look away though, he had a lot of arrogance for a man with no real control, no real power, no permanent impact. Foolish sociopath.

“All arise.” The bailiff ended their staring contest. “The honorable Jack Douglass Presiding.”

Patton continued to insinuate himself between Payton and Virgil as they all stood to attention. Familial attachment was flaking off of his conscience like an old sunburn. The idea that Payton didn’t want to be his friend started to harden him rather than hurt anymore. All that he really felt was the determination to make sure that no one threatened his baby ever again. And if Payton thought he was going to sit over there and shoot death glares at an innocent kid, then he needed to get used to disappointment and fast.

“Thank you, bailiff.” The judge snapped him back into the room. “You may be seated.”

The crowd sat down on command. It was kind of impressive.

“Mr. Pent.” The Judge looked at Janus “Yesterday I asked you if you were really going through with this. I’m going to ask again.”

“The defendant is insistent on having this out in court your honor.” Janus answered professionally.

“Is this correct?” The judge looked at Payton and his lawyer.

“It is your honor.” The lawyer answered.

“Alright,” The judge replied. “Proceed with your case. Why do believe Mr. Foster to be an unfit parent?”

“We have documented evidence of both physical and emotional abuse as well as neglect.” Janus pulled out a folder.

“Interesting.” The judge looked at Payton. “Mr. Foster, how do you respond to these allegations?”

“The claims against me are completely fabricated.” Payton said coldly. “I have never laid a hand on my son, nor have I abused him emotionally.”

“Why would your brother make up something like this?” The judge countered.

“I assure you. I have no idea.”

“Let’s see your evidence.” The judge, his honor? Turned back to them.

“I have with me a portion of the fire chief’s report from Mr. Foster’s home.” Janus read. “It states that Virgil’s bedroom had no door, which caused the fire to spread to his room much quicker than normal, and that his window was nailed shut.”

“Mr. Pent,” His honor looked annoyed. “Do you have children?”

“I do not your honor.”

“Did you have a window when you were a teenager?”

“Yes, your honor.” Janus was somehow playing this straight.

“Mr. Foster,” His honor turned to him.

“Yes sir, I mean your honor?”

“Since staying with you, has Virgil had access to a functional window?”

“Yes, your honor.” Patton shook, he had no idea what was happening.

“How about a door, does he have a door?”

“Yes. Your honor.”

“Mr. Pent, how about you? Did you have a door when you were a teenager?”

“Yes, your honor.”

“Mr. Foster,” The judge turned. “When you were Virgil’s age, did you have a functional window?”

“Yes, your honor.” Payton seemed confused as well.

“How about a door?”

“Yes, your honor.”

“Why is it that your son has neither of those things?”

“Virgil was in the habit of bringing friends over uninvited and sneaking out at night, I removed the door and sealed the window to prevent this.”

None of the three had it in them to be surprised by this anymore. They barely had it in them to be disappointed.

“Firstly, taking off the door won’t prevent any of that.” His honor retorted. “Secondly, he nearly died in a fire because you nailed his window shut. You’re either abusive or stupid.”

“Your honor.” Payton’s lawyer added. “Neither of these examples indicate abuse, making the evidence irrelevant.”

“That is fair, he could just be stupid.” His honor nodded. “Unfortunately, that kind of ignorant endangerment is still grounds to call him an unfit parent.”

Patton saw Payton’s eye twitch, it must have been killing him that his current defense was ‘please, I’m very stupid’.

“Mr. Pent,” Judge Douglass turned to Janus “Give me something more relevant to your case.”

“Here we have documented images of the bruises Virgil sustained, and several hospital records detailing various injuries.” Janus held out the folder and the bailiff took it to the judge.

The judge looked over the documents quietly and stoically.

“Virgil,” His honor looked up. “You’re planning to testify as a witness, correct?”

“Yes…Your honor.” Virgil grabbed Patton’s hand.

“Ok, why don’t you come on up?”

“Yes sir. I mean your honor.” Virgil stood up and looked at Patton desperately.

“It’s ok, just don’t look at him.” Patton whispered, rubbing Virgil’s hand.

The bailiff took Virgil up to the box and they swore him in. The poor baby was visibly shaking.

“So, Virgil.” Judge Douglass was surprisingly gentle. “I’m going to start by asking you why your window was nailed shut.”

“Payton, my dad, told me he didn’t trust me to not sneak out.” Virgil said frankly. “So, he nailed the window shut. The door was a different thing entirely.”

“Well, what was the door about?”

“He found a journal that I was keeping for a class when I was about eight.” Virgil tensely rubbed his arm. “And he got mad at me for keeping things from him while also telling my teacher things that were none of their business.”

“If I may, your honor.” Payton’s lawyer added. “This is not relevant, nor does it prove abuse.”

“I disagree,” Janus argued. “It is important we know why Payton felt that there were aspects of their home life that were meant to be hidden.”

“In that case, maybe we should ask what secrets Virgil was willing to share with his teacher and not his father.” Payton’s lawyer countered.

“Absolutely.” Jan agreed. “Virgil, what exactly were you writing about?”

“I was eight.” Virgil looked around uncomfortably. “I mostly just drew pictures. I had maybe two passages about how my dad made fun of me whenever I wet the bed. and the rest was dedicated to talking about the Goosebumps series. I wasn’t allowed to read them, so I always figured that was why Payton was mad at me.”

“Taking the door off is kind of an extreme reaction.” Judge Douglass stated blankly.

“Excuse me, your honor.” Patton added timidly.

“Yes, Mr. Foster?”

“How would Payton know what Virgil was writing about unless he read the journal?”

“We’re just wasting time with this.” Payton interrupted. “Nothing I’ve been accused of so far is child abuse, in fact I admitted to removing the door. Because Virgil and I were having some trust issues, with just cause. And none of that is illegal.”

Payton made direct eye contact with Virgil while he was talking, and much to everyone’s surprise Virgil stared right back at him.

“Alright.” His honor stared at all of them. “Let’s move on to the allegations of physical abuse.”

Virgil bit his nails and pulled at his tie.

“Let’s start with how Virgil managed to get a perfect belt buckle mark on his back.” His honor’s eyes scalded anyone who looked directly into them.

“A question I have been wanting answers to as well.” Payton glared at Virgil.

“You mean to tell me that you don’t know how that got there?” His honor almost seemed to laugh at Payton.

“I can only speculate that Virgil bruised himself to frame me for abuse or that my brother put those marks there to further his own agenda.”

“And what agenda is that?” His honor spat.

“Since last month Patton has started a campaign to discredit me, starting by accusing me of lying about my past. I have no doubt that once he learned my son was in the hospital, he decided that the best way to ruin me was to accuse me of abuse.”

“Why?” The judge asked leadingly.

“I have no idea why. Perhaps because I managed to make something of myself while he’s still living in the house we grew up in.”

“You’re a member of the one profession that everyone hates.” Judge Douglass retorted. “You know what everyone told me about going to law school? They said don’t. As far as I’m concerned you made a mistake by pursuing law. Maybe other people are impressed, but I’m not.”

Payton looked like someone had slapped him.

“And the bruise in question was a month old when Mr. Foster was given physical custody of Virgil.” Janus pointed out. “At that time Virgil had no contact with anyone without his father knowing about it. In fact, by Mr. Foster’s own admittance Virgil had no secrets from him and no way of doing anything without his knowledge.”

“With all due respect, your honor.” Payton’s lawyer commented. “This only clears Mr. Foster from having caused that bruise. Virgil could have very well done it himself or received it at school.”

“Virgil,” The judge went gentle again. “Can you explain how you got this bruise?”

“Don’t bother asking him, we know what he’s going to say.” Payton snapped.

“When I want to hear from you, I’ll call you.” Judge Douglass pointed the little hammer at him. “Virgil, answer whenever you feel ready.”

Virgil looked as if he were about to be hit by a train. He shook his head and blinked repeatedly.

“Payton and I were arguing, and he grabbed one of my belts off a chair or something…” Virgil inhaled sharply through his teeth. “And he hit me with it.”

“Did he do that a lot?”

Virgil gagged and slumped back into his seat, breathing hard.

“May I have some water?” Virgil whispered.

“Of course.” Judge Douglass said gently. “Bailiff, could you bring him some water?”

“Your honor,” Payton interrupted. “With all due respect, you’re not really going to humor him, are you?”

“I’m interested in what you mean by humoring him.” Judge Douglass looked down at him.

“Humoring him in his so called ‘anxiety attacks’. He only uses them as an excuse, and now he’s using it as a pity ploy.”

“I’m really not.” Virgil panted, looking like he was going to faint.

The bailiff brought Virgil a bottle of water. He fumbled opening it. Patton started to stand up only for Logan to pull him back down.

“Are you feeling better?” Judge Douglass addressed Virgil.

Virgil nodded.

“Mr. Foster. The older Mr. Foster.” The judge turned again. “Virgil has been diagnosed with severe anxiety by two doctors and is suspected to have PTSD. The fact that you deny this is concerning.”

“Your honor, this disorder is merely him being overly dramatic.”

“Doctors would disagree.”

“Of course, they would, their entire business is based on humoring these people so they can take advantage. No doctor benefits from Virgil acting his age instead of behaving like a toddler.”

“Virgil.” The judge ignored Payton. “Did your father hit you often?”

“Not very often.” Virgil inhaled sharply. “Just when he lost his temper. Like if I argued with him or if I got bad grades. He, he, uh. He normally just grabbed my wrists. And kind of, squeezed them really hard. Sometimes he dug his nails in, but he didn’t like to leave marks on a body part that couldn’t be covered up that easy.”

Patton quietly rubbed his own wrist, phantom pains returning.

“Do you have a clear recollection of when the hitting started?”

“Payton started hitting me when I was around ten.” Virgil squeezed the bottle, crackling the plastic. “I don’t really remember why he started. I just remember that he slapped me one time. And then he never stopped.”

“What do you say, Mr. Foster?”

“I maintain my innocence.” Payton said harshly. “Even if you they can prove that Virgil was injured, they cannot prove that I was the one who injured him. Which I was not.”

“Virgil says differently.” The judge countered.

“Virgil is thirteen! He’s a child, and most likely has been coerced into testifying against me.”

“That so?”

“Yes.”

“Really, because so far, he not only says you hit him, but is saying why you thought it was ok to hit him all those times. The only case that is falling apart here is yours.”

A cold silence hung over them.

“Mr. Pent, please continue.” His honor sighed.

“Certainly, your honor.” Janus didn’t blink. “I would like to call the court’s attention an event on the fifteenth of August that led to Virgil being hospitalized. The official claim was that he fell down the stairs, but his injuries suggest repeated blows, inconsistent with a fall. There is also the fact that the defendant claimed at the time that Virgil was morphine intolerant, while recent tests proved that Virgil has no such allergy.”

“Mr. Foster, would you care to explain that?” Judge Douglass asked.

“The official reports say that Virgil fell down the stairs because he fell down the stairs.” Payton insisted. “His doctors didn’t feel the need to interrogate me at the time. Which is telling of this case’s validity.”

“And Virgil,” Judge Douglass asked softly. “What do you say happened?”

Virgil inhaled tensely and closed his eyes quickly. Tears leaked out.

“I got held back in school.” Virgil exhaled. “Payton yelled at me the whole ride home. When we got inside, he slapped me. And… and… he just started hitting me. I don’t remember much, but I do know he threw me down the stairs.”

Virgil wiped away tears with a shaking hand.

“Ok, why don’t you go back and sit with your uncles?” Judge Douglass said gently.

The bailiff brought Virgil back to them and Patton instantly took him into his arms.

“Now, as to Virgil’s supposed morphine allergy?” The judge asked.

“I may have suggested the allergy in error.” Payton said. “I thought he was intolerant because both me and his mother are.”

“Medical records from your family disagree.” Janus argued. “Your mother received a good deal of morphine while she was ill. Patton was on several morphine related opioids after an accident that ruined his teeth. And you yourself received morphine during a surgery. Not only that but, Hazel Drake, Virgil’s mother, has no such allergy listed either. Records also show that Virgil had never been tested for this intolerance prior to his so-called fall down the stairs. So, you would truly have no way of knowing if he had an allergy or not.”

Payton had nothing to say. Patton and Logan breathed a sigh of relief. Virgil looked at them nervously. He was chewing on his sleeve. They each took one of his hands.

“Virgil has also been diagnosed with both severe anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder since his stay in the hospital.” Janus continued, looking like a cobra about to strike. “So, I would like to call Dr. Emile Picani to the stand.”

Dr. Picani walked professionally to the stand and was sworn in.

“Dr. Picani, what was your diagnosis of Virgil Foster?” Janus asked coolly.

“Virgil is suffering from severe anxiety due to an extremely stressful home life and post-traumatic stress disorder resulting from physical and emotional abuse.” Emile began. “Over the course of our sessions I learned that Virgil had been wetting the bed throughout his entire childhood and up until now.”

Payton scoffed; it was clear that he didn’t think anyone would hear him. But all eyes turned in his direction.

“A very telling sign of emotional abuse.” Emile continued, ignoring Payton. “Virgil also reported daily panic or anxiety attacks, night terrors and a complete loss of appetite. The fact that he hadn’t been eating was obvious when he was admitted because he was roughly twenty pounds underweight.”

“Did Virgil mention any instances of abuse in any session?” Janus led.

“He told me that if he would wet the bed, his father would mock him severely. He also mentioned one instance, which we talked about earlier, when he tried to defend himself to his father and was hit with a belt.”

“Objection, Your Honor.” Payton’s lawyer stood up. “Dr. Picani is only repeating something he heard during this trial. There is no proof that Virgil told him this in therapy.”

“Overruled.” His Honor retorted. “The evidence that Virgil is suffering mentally still remains.”

“Your Honor.” Payton’s lawyer continued. “Virgil’s bed wetting could be a result of being rehomed after the arrest of his father.”

“We already established that it had been happening for a long time before that.” Janus said smoothly.

Janus moved gracefully, almost as if he was slithering.

“In that case.” Payton’s lawyer argued. “it could be the result of a learning disability or a ploy for attention.”

“Dr. Picani,” Janus looked back to the stand waving a gloved hand. “What such disabilities would cause bed wetting at this late an age?”

Virgil looked down and covered his face with his hands. Patton noticed that his ears were turning red.

“It’s ok, Honey.” Patton whispered, petting him tenderly. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“Any disability that would cause bed wetting for this long would be apparent in other aspects.” Emile answers. “Low functioning autism, severe Down Syndrome or Locked-In Syndrome to name a few. Virgil clearly has none of these. And the bed wetting gets worse when he’s stressed out. I can guarantee that it’s not an attention ploy because prior to receiving therapy Virgil was avoiding fluids altogether so he wouldn’t wet the bed. This led to him being severely dehydrated when he was admitted.”

“Anything else?” Judge Douglass asked the room.

“Yes, Your Honor.” Payton’s lawyer continued. “Dr. Picani only has Virgil’s word that he had been having panic attacks or anxiety attacks regularly. The same goes with the night terrors.”

“Virgil nearly had a panic attack while he was testifying.” His Honor said deadpan. “And showed clear signs of having an anxiety disorder. As for the night terrors…”

He turned to Patton and Logan.

“Mr. Foster, Mr. Berry, has Virgil had any night terrors since staying with you?”

“Yes, your honor.” Logan nodded calmly. “He has had both night terrors and nightmares almost regularly. Both those and the bed wetting have decreased with anti-anxiety medicine, therapy and a less stressful environment.”

“Objection.” Payton argued. “We only have their word that Virgil has had such episodes. And there is serious doubt as to Mr. Berry’s credibility.”

“Why is that?” The judge asked.

“He is on the Autistic spectrum.”

“Mr. Pent, have you presented all the facts for your case against the defendant?” Judge Douglass looked to Janus.

“I have evidence to suggest neglect.” Janus added, coldly. “But I’ll make it quick.”

“Do it then.”

“Virgil was diagnosed with Strep throat when he was admitted. He had a severe case, due to not seeing a doctor about it. As Virgil’s guardian, Payton Foster would be responsible for taking him to a doctor, but it was revealed that Virgil had dealt with the illness for ten days. Virgil was also twenty pounds underweight. His father would have noticed this but did nothing. We also know that Mr. Foster, the defendant, denied his son pain killers based on an assumption of an allergy that he had never been tested for. There is also Virgil’s window being nailed shut and the fact that Mr. Foster, the defendant, had no smoke detectors in his home. Which led to Virgil’s nearly being killed in a fire. We also established that Virgil had a bedwetting problem that his father never sought medical advice for, and potentially mocked him for. Even if you doubt abuse, you cannot deny that gross negligence was at play.”

“Alright.” His Honor nodded. “Mr. Foster, you may present your case.”

#logicality #romile #parentalmoxieity #parental logicality #platoniclamp #pattonsanders #logansanders #romansanders #emilepicani #janussanders #sympathiticjanus #humanau #famILY

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prettylittleheartfilia · 5 years ago

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Day 2: Mischief

Word Count: 2,056

Rating: T (?)

Ninth period. The last one of the day, and the one Lucy hated the most. Well, hate is a strong word. However, it certainly wasn’t fun having to sit next to your year-long crush who didn’t even know about your existence.

It was her fault, really. If only she would’ve talked to him. It really wasn’t that hard. All she needed to do was turn her head to the right and introduce herself. Hi, I’m Lucy Heartfilia. Nice to meet you! And then they would talk and discover just how much they have in common, and they would fall in love and get married. See? Easy.

Except… he was the Natsu Dragneel. She could never go up to him and start a casual conversation! He was one of the cool kids. The type that everyone knew and everyone liked. The class clown. The jock. The hot guy. Everything Lucy was not.

Albeit she had a decent amount of friends, she was known as shy, and quiet. The type that people would go to for “help” on the test. The teacher’s pet. The bookworm. She didn’t believe someone as gregarious and confident as Natsu could ever be interested in someone as boring as her.

Which is why she was so shocked when she felt him put his hand on her shoulder to gain her attention.

“Hey.” He whispered. Lucy was speechless. She tried to play it cool, but was pretty sure she was failing. He had never talked to her in the entirety of the school year, unless they had to do a lab together. And even then, their conversations were short and strictly about the assignment. “Isn’t it stupid that we still have to do labs in the last week of school?”

Lucy chuckled nervously. “I guess.”

“My friend Gray told me they aren’t doing anything in Ms. Strauss’ class.” Gray Fullbuster. Natsu’s… best friend? Truthfully, Lucy wasn’t sure. They were always together but they always seemed to be yelling insults at each other. Juvia, one of her best friends, constantly tried, but failed, to flirt with him. Lucy admired her determination, and wished she had a bit of it herself. “But we had to be stuck with Mr. Dreyar” Natsu murmured. He and Mr. Dreyar were not the best of friends. Natsu was the class clown, always getting in trouble and never taking anything seriously. At least, those were Mr. Dreyar’s words, ones he repeated almost every day.

“Call it senioritis, but I don’t want to be here, and I have a way of getting us out of here. If you want to, of course.” He finished.

Lucy didn’t know how to respond. She was never one to cause problems. If anything, Mr. Dreyar always trusted her to solve the problems other students would cause. But, Natsu Dragneel wanted to skip class with her. When will an opportunity like this ever arise again?

“Ok.” She let out a shuddering breath. “What do you have in mind?”

He smirked mischievously. “Pass me that test tube.” He pointed to one of the test tubes standing on the test tube rack on her side of the desk.

“But that’s—”

“I know what it is. Just trust me, ‘kay?” And how could Lucy refuse when he looked at her with those dark green eyes and that cute little smirk? “Before I do the honors…” Natsu pinched Lucy’s nose to prepare her for what was to come, and Lucy hesitantly did the same to him, her cheeks painted with a dust of pink.

With his one available hand, he poured the contents of the test tube in the flask. It only took about two seconds before the chemical reacted with the substance already in the flask, instantly rising up and flooding the science classroom with an overwhelmingly bad odor.

Everyone started running out of the class, coughing and covering their noses with their lab coats, including Mr. Dreyar, who ran out of the class with his face cringed in disgust. The culprits weren’t far behind; Natsu grabbed Lucy’s hand and ran with her out of the classroom. Perhaps she was being delirious because of the smell, but she could swear she felt a spark the moment his hand came in contact with hers.

Everyone ran out to the end of the hallway, as far away from their classroom as possible, and once her adrenaline had died down, Lucy couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Natsu was startled by the sound, but soon after he accompanied her.

“That was the most exciting thing I think I’ve ever done… and all I did was hand you a test tube!”

“Really? You’re such a goody two shoes, I might need to corrupt you a little bit.” He winked teasingly, and Lucy felt her entire face heat up.

“You.” Their little bubble of joy was bursted by the growling of their teacher. “Natsu Dragneel. I can’t say I didn’t expect this from you, but Lucy?”

The aforementioned let her head fall forward in shame.

“Lucy didn’t have anything to do with this. I’m the one to blame.” Lucy looked up with wide eyes, taken aback by Natsu’s declaration. She would be lying if she said it didn’t make little butterflies flutter in her stomach.

“No. I helped him, Mr. Dreyar. I’m sorry.” Natsu opened his mouth, about to protest, but was interrupted by the blonde. “I’m ready to take responsibility for my actions.”

The young teacher looked at them sternly. “Very well. If both of you are so willing to take the blame, then I hope you won’t mind coming back after school to clean up the science lab.”

“But today is the wrestling team party. I can’t miss that! Can we just get detention tomorrow?” Whined Natsu.

“You should’ve thought of that before stinking up my working space. I’ll see you both at three.” With that, Mr. Dreyar headed downstairs, probably to discuss the matter at hand with the principal, who also happened to be his grandfather.

“I’m sorry, Lucy.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ve never gotten detention before, I wonder what it’s like.” If she was being honest, the idea of spending the afternoon alone with Natsu didn’t seem like such a bad thing.

****

“Here are your utensils.” Mr. Dreyar put down two buckets full of water, and handed each of them a toothbrush.

“Toothbrushes? You expect us to clean all of this with toothbrushes!? Is that even legal?”

“And I better be able to see my reflection on the floor after you’re done. I’ll be in the class next door with Ms. Strauss if you need anything.”

“This is child abuse!” Yelled Natsu as the chemistry teacher headed out.

“I’m sorry, Lucy. If you want you can go and I’ll take care of this.” He turned to the blonde with an apologetic smile.

“No! Really, Natsu, don’t worry about it. This could be… fun.” She stated sheepishly.

Natsu showed her a lopsided grin. Just like that, they started working, scrubbing all the desks and windows with the toothbrushes. After a few minutes of silence where Lucy tried to build up the courage to start a conversation, she heard music from the other side of the room, where Natsu was cleaning one of the windows.

“I love that song.” Lucy said before she could stop herself.

“Me too. I’m actually trying to learn it on the guitar.”

“Really? I didn’t know you played guitar… or that you liked 5 Seconds Of Summer.” She smirked.

“I like Amnesia, and a couple other songs I’ve heard.” He scratched the back of his neck, as if embarrassed to admit he liked the band. “And yes, I play the guitar. You would know if you actually talked to me.”

The comment was meant to be a lighthearted joke, but Lucy frowned, unbeknownst to Natsu. It was true. If only Lucy wouldn’t have been so wrapped up in her own head, she would’ve gotten to know her crush better— be friends with him at least. Now, they’re three days away from graduation and this is the first time they had actually talked.

They cleaned in silence for a few minutes, listening to Natsu’s playlist until an ad interrupted the music.

“This is boring.” Natsu drawled, startling Lucy slightly. “Can we take a break?”

“We’ve only been cleaning for like twenty minutes.” The girl smiled. It amused her how energetic Natsu was.

“Still.” He shrugged. “Let’s play a game or somethin’.”

“What game?”

“I don’t know…” He pondered for a few seconds, before an imaginary lightbulb turned on above his head. “What about truth or dare?”

“I don’t know… I don’t really like that game.”

“C’mon, Luce! Live a little! I promise I won’t make you do anything that could get you in trouble.”

Lucy was surprised by the nickname, but she didn’t mind. After thinking about it for a bit and looking at his cute little face she sighed. “Fine.” It was just a game of truth or dare with her year-long crush. Alone. No big deal.

Natsu grinned from ear to ear and Lucy thought she might melt for a second.

***

“Truth or dare?” Natsu grumbled from the corner of the classroom. Lucy had dared him to sit still in that corner for three rounds, which was almost impossible for someone as rambunctious as him. The game had gone on for way longer than anticipated, and they were getting more and more comfortable with each other as time went on.

“Truth.”

“Who’s your crush?” Lucy could swear she saw a dust of pink on his cheeks as he asked the question. A color that was more than likely also covering her face at the moment.

“No one.”

“Really? No one at all?”

“Nope.” Lucy was a bad liar, she knew it, but she still tried her best to hide her true feelings. “Truth or dare?” She added before he could question her any further.

“Considering I can’t do any dares while I’m sitting here: truth.”

She already knew what she wanted to ask. In fact, she had wondered about this for a very long time. It’s now or never, Lucy thought as she exhaled.

“Same question for you… do you like someone?” Lucy looked down while answering the question, scared of the answer.

“I do.” At this, Lucy looked up, trying to conceal her disappointment. “I think you know her. She’s short, blonde, really pretty, like gorgeous. She’s kind of weird, though. I mean, we’ve been lab partners for the whole year and she’s never even said ‘hi’ to me unless I say it first. But she’s very smart, and I like how she blushes at every little thing.” Natsu grinned, and Lucy blushed. “She also has big brown eyes. They’re pretty. Like her. She’s really pretty. Did I say that already?”

The blonde kept looking at the floor with wide eyes. Could it be that all this time, Natsu actually liked her too? It seemed impossible but, it was true. She couldn’t look up. She felt as if she looked up, she would see a mischievous glint in his eyes or something that would give away the fact that he was only joking, messing with her and with her feelings. But… Natsu wouldn’t do that. As much of a trouble maker as he was, Natsu was kind, and cared about other people. She knew it in her heart. So, Lucy looked up. She saw Natsu looking down at the floor, his face almost matching the color of his hair, with an expression of… disappointment? Fear? Regret? All of the above?

“Really?” Lucy let out in a tone that was barely above a whisper.

Natsu flinched, as if he had forgotten where he was for a moment. He looked at his lab partner and smiled softly. “Yeah. Figured I’d tell you before graduation.”

“I… I like you too.” Her face felt as if it was burning. Natsu’s smile widened as he looked into her eyes. “We should finish up.”

The pink-haired boy’s smile instantly fell.

“I forgot we had to finish cleaning.” He groaned.

“You got us into this mess with your mischief, mister. Assume the consequences.” Said the blonde with a firm voice, though her smirk gave away the fact she was only teasing.

Natsu grinned lopsidedly. “And I don’t regret any of it.”

#nalufluffweek2019 #nalufluffweek #fairy tail #nalu #lucy heartfilia #natsu dragneel #my writing

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randomfandomimagine · 5 years ago

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Homecoming (Alphonse x Reader)

Characters: Alphonse Elric, Edward Elric, Winry Rockbell, Lust, Greed Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist Categories: Gender Neutral Reader, Human Al Warnings: Mild spoilers Word Count: 4k words Requested by anon: OK I JUST HAD AN IDEA FOR AN IMAGINE FOR THE ELRIC BROTHERS. So, for the imagine, reader is sent to spy on the Elric brothers by Father and eventually has to assassinate them. But reader doesn’t want to. They soon develop a friendship and reader is at a crossroads when they meet Father // Requested by anon: Yesss imagines are open! Imagine for Al (FMA) surprising his s/o when he got his body back and his s/o takes care of him and even bakes him something since they are a baker? Notes: It’s been really long since I last watched/read Fullmetal Alchemist, so I apologize if the plot if a bit messy. Also, the Alphonse ship part is very very subtle.

Remember that requests for oneshots are currently closed!!

I noticed them, the two brothers, they were staring at me. The short one’s gold eyes focused on me, but then they looked ahead and he passed me by. The other one, however, kept staring. I couldn’t see his eyes because of the armor, but I noticed his walking got slower and he tilted his head to the side slightly.

Waiting for the right moment, I carefully looked around me. I didn’t want to arise too much suspicion. It was about to happen any moment, and I had to be ready. I had a mission.

Interrupting my focused thoughts, a figure jumped up and blocked the brother’s path, a tall and slim figure that I knew very well. Her long fingernails then became a weapon as they stretched out to the two. They were quick to act, however, nimbly moving out of the way and ready to retaliate.

I jumped in between them, though, drawing my sword out and swiftly swinging it to break her extended fingernails that turned into blades. Lust cried out in pain but didn’t retract. The two brothers continued their defense, with the blond one with the ponytail briefly staring at me as he passed by.

“Be careful!” The one with the armor took me by the arm. “It’s dangerous!”

I squirmed in his grasp when he tried to push me back for my own safety. Finally managing to set myself free from his gloved hand, I spun my sword around in preparation.

“Don’t worry, I got this” With that, I ran to help the short one again.

Injuring Lust with my weapon, she fell to her knees. She glared at me, then looking back to the other one, and surrendered. She slowly held her hands up, eyeing me caerfully. Neither of us moved until she started to walk away, still eyeing us with contempt.

I stood there, breathing heavily from the battle. Lust and I exchanged a glance of rapport, and she didn’t look back again.

“Hey” The short one finally acknowledged me. “Good job”

I tiredly smiled at him, saving my sword back on its sheath.

“Wow” The other’s voice echoed inside his armor. “I didn’t know you were so good, thanks for helping us!”

“Yeah, thanks” The one with the ponytail held his hand out for me. “I’m Edward”

“Y/N” I introduced myself, giving his hand a firm shake.

“I’m his brother Alphonse” The other said, shaking my hand as well.

I looked up to meet with Alphonse’s tall stature, then glancing back to Edward.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you both” Even if maintaining my usual neutral voice, I tried to sound polite and kind.

“Why don’t you come with us?” Alphonse suggested happily. “We were about to grab something to eat!”

“I don’t know” I casually shrugged my shoulders. “I’m not really…”

“Yeah, sure” Edward tilted his head at me. “Consider it a thank you for helping us”

“Exactly!” Alphonse excitedly grabbed my hand. “Come on!”

With a reluctant sigh and a soft smile, I allowed him to take me with them. I had to suppress the urge to smirk in satisfaction. The plan was working perfectly so far.

After several weeks, I had earned their trust. We had gone through many things together, including accompanying them on their journey and helping them as much as I could and even visiting their hometown in Resembool.

The more time I spent with them, the less I wanted to carry on with the plan. Ed was short-tempered and hermetic, but worked hard to do the right thing and protect his loved ones. And Al was innocent and too friendly, but his warmth and kindness were unique. I grew especially close with him.

It came to a point where I refused to do them any harm. They had welcomed me, treating me as a friend, looking after me and caring for my safety and wellbeing. And even though I had many opportunities to accomplish my mission once and for all I just… couldn’t. Not only couldn’t, but didn’t want to.

My mind was burning with thoughts as we left the Rockbell’s home. They were the closest Edward and Alphonse had to a family, and they had spoken about a lot. That included their purpose, and Ed’s automail, and Al’s armor. Upon learning about their stories, I felt even more sympathy for all of them. For the sacrifice they had made, for their journey and their goal, for their capacity to love and selflessness. And I admired them for it.

“Bye!” Winry waved her hand at us from the balcony. “Come back soon!”

“Thanks for having me” I waved back at her, who smiled in return.

“You too, Y/N!” Pinako said, positioning herself next to Winry.

“Yeah!” The girl exclaimed so I could hear her with our increasing distance. “We had a lot of fun!”

“Yeah, yeah” Edward pulled at my arm, making me smile in spite of myself. “Let’s get going”

“I knew they would like you” Alphonse told me, his voice dripping with kindness as usual.

With a last wave to the Rockbells, I accommodated my slow pace to their quicker one. It felt a bit sad to leave them behind and abandoning that comforting feeling of home they had introduced me to. But then again, Edward and Alphonse were like another home, wherever we were.

“I’m really sorry about that, by the way” I had the need to say, explaining myself after their attentive stares. “About… you know… all of it”

“Oh” Edward’s expression darkened a bit, and he closed his metallic fist. “Never mind”

Noticing it was a subject he was not willing to talk about, I mentally told myself not to bring it up again, but knowing about it gave me a whole new perspective. The old me arose for a moment, saying that it could be a weakness I should take advantage of. But the new me, the one that had grown fond of them, replied that I shouldn’t. That I wouldn’t.

“It must be especially hard for you” I whispered to Alphonse, even if it was strange talking to him now knowing the truth behind his empty armor.

I had tried to keep my voice low, but I heard Edward sighing at my words.

“It’s okay!” Alphonse said, seemingly carefree. “When I get my body back, I’ll eat all the foods, I keep them on a list! Especially apple pie, I can’t wait!”

I noticed Edward walking ahead of us, hanging his head low. I didn’t comment on it.

“I‘ll look out for more delicious foods for your list” I nudged Alphonse, even with his empty armor. “Especially desserts, since you like them so much”

“Thank you, Y/N!” He replied. “Your company is helping us a lot”

“Don’t mention it” I replied, feeling a certain guilt eating me alive from the inside.

I considered telling them everything, confessing the truth about the actual reason behind our first meeting. But how could I? Edward would definitely hate me, and even Alphonse would be mad at me. And I wouldn’t blame them. So although I wanted to open up about it, I knew that I never could. I just wasn’t brave enough.

We continued walking in silence, prepared to carry on our adventure. To keep on searching for a way to return Ed’s arm and leg and Al’s body.

Living with Father used to be horrible. It was sad, dark and oppressing. I was always scared, fearing that he might abandon me and that I would be alone again. Frightened that I might disappoint him and in his anger he would lash out at me. Aware of his conditioning and manipulation, I put up with it because it was all I ever had. I only ever had him.

All that seemed to be in another life, as travelling with the Elric brothers was the complete opposite. We laughed, we chatted, we looked after each other. We joked and had fun, but also worked together. We were together, I was not inferior to them. Perhaps only inferior in alchemy knowledge, but not in self-worth.

However, almost as though he sensed my happiness and was ironically envious of it, Father intervened. During our voyage to Rush Valley, taking advantage that we were alone and vulnerable, he appeared. Or rather, one of his puppets, just like I had been.

This time it was Greed. He stood there, tall and arrogant as always.

“What…?” I stopped myself in time, before confessing I even knew him.

“There you are, Y/N” I felt the blood escape my face when he spoke.

“Wait...” Edward muttered in awe. “You know each other?”

I frowned, not capable of looking at them. Instead I stared at Greed.

“Father sent me, you were taking too long” He said in exasperation. I could picture Father’s eyes glistening with fury as he commanded him. “When were you going to finish your task?”

“Task?” Alphonse turned to me, tilting his head in confusion.

“I knew it” Edward pointed an accusatory finger at me. “I knew it! I knew it was too good to be true!”

“No” I choked out, feeling tears welling up in my eyes at the look of absolute disgust that he dedicated me. That look caused a pang in my chest. “Please, Ed, you have to listen to me”

“Why haven’t you killed them yet?!” Greed continued, completely ignoring my crippling heartache. “Do it now!! Rid me of this nuisance!!”

“No!! I won’t!!” I pulled out my sword, ready to use it against him.

“You dare defy him?” He was about to attack, but a wall suddenly erected before me.

I instantly looked over to Ed, whose hands rested against the ground. His alchemy provided us with some safety for now.

“Y/N…” Alphonse’s soft voice said behind us. “How could you?”

“It’s not like that, I… I really care about you…” My sobs interrupted me before I even realized they had taken over. “I would have never hurt you… You’re my family now, you… You are the only people that have ever looked after me. They were the only thing I had before I knew you, but they never cared about me and… When we met, I…I realized I could never hurt you…”

“You lied to us” Edward was frowning, still looking at me like that. Like an enemy, like the traitor I was.

The wall that surrounded us and kept us safe began shaking. Greed was about to tear it down and expose us. I refused to be vulnerable and afraid anymore. After knowing love, I refused to go back to that. I preferred being alone to being miserable with them.

“I’m sorry” Tears were now rolling down my cheeks as I looked from one brother to the other. It felt strange, letting my emotions out after holding them in for so long. “I’m really, really sorry”

Just at the wall collapsed, I jumped and sunk my sword into Greed’s chest. He gasped in surprise, and so did the Elric brothers behind me. Greed didn’t think twice to strike back, as I felt a sudden sharp pain in my stomach.

I grit my teeth and ignored it, reminding myself of his weak spot. I could just rip the stone out from him and give it to them, to help them. But they wouldn’t take it if they knew how it was created.

Edward pushed me as he went forward and attacked Greed. I felt Alphonse’s hand on my back, keeping me from stumbling, but he retrieved it soon.

“Al, I…” I stuttered, but he only looked away. There wasn’t a need to any facial expression to read the sorrow in his countenance.

“Get the hell out of here!” Edward yelled at me over his shoulder, not interrupting the duel. “I don’t want to see you ever again!”

“But I want to help!” I tightened my grip on the sword. “I can help you, tell you how to-“

“No!” Was his response, refusing to say anything else.

I hated myself for what I had done. For lying to them, for not telling them the truth, for not doing something! Maybe I could have warned them. Maybe I could have confessed everything in a healthy way. But I had been too scared, and now was too late.

Turning to Alphonse, I dedicated him a last pleading look. He refused to meet with my eyes. I understood. I didn’t deserve their forgiveness.

With tears still streaming down my face, I told myself to move. My body didn’t obey. It just stood there. Something told me that if I left, it would be the last time I saw them.

Mildly injured and deadly hurt, I faltered in the spot. They weren’t paying attention to me anymore, too involved in the battle to mind me. I preferred that to Alphonse’s stunned silence upon my betrayal. And I especially preferred it to Edward’s hurt look of contempt.

I clutched my wound and forced myself to take a step forward. Another followed, and another, until I distanced myself a little. The noise of the battle died down as the distance grew. I forbid myself from looking back.

It couldn’t have been more than a week, but those days felt like an eternity. I journeyed endlessly, moved only by guilt and remorse. The only two people that ever cared about me felt betrayed, and I didn’t blame them. The very inception of our friendship was based on a lie, on a ruse to fulfill a mission, an elaborated plan to end up killing them. But how could I go through with it? Even if it meant angering Father, even if it implied earning his hatred and contempt.

After so many hours trapped in my own head, alone with my terrible thoughts, I found myself in a familiar place. Resembool. While my tortured mind went over all the awful emotions I felt, my feet acted on their own accord. They were moved by my heart, who guided me to the only other place I could ever call home. The only other place where I was accepted, with the only other people that had ever cared for me. Truly cared for me, unlike my old family.

“W-Winry?!” I shouted out as I made it to the house. “Hello?”

I looked down to my wound, grimacing at the sight. I had covered it with an improvised bandage, but blood was seeping through it. The days of travel hadn’t helped either.

My legs began feeling shaky and heavy, I couldn’t tell if it was because of the exhaustion of the blood loss. I dragged my feet as I almost made it to the door.

Just then, I noticed something with the corner of my eye. Up in the balcony appeared a blond head looking down at me.

“Y/N?!” Winry exclaimed, running to meet with me. Soon after, she dashed outside the main door. “You’re hurt!!”

“I’m okay…”

“What happened?!”

“I… I did something terrible…”

“But… Ed and Al!! Are they okay?!”

“Yeah, they should be. They’re better off without me”

Winry frowned in concern, wrapping an arm around me to help support my weight. I knew she had a lot of questions, and I was willing to answer them.

But she insisted on treating my wound first.

It seemed like I had become bound to the bed of the guest room. I didn’t have the energy to stand from it other than to eat or go to the bathroom.

Pinako and Winry had been far too kind with me. Even after I told them with happened with the homunculi and Father, they allowed me to stay with them. Winry was reluctant at first, saying I was a traitor, but Pinako insisted even if I wanted to leave and not take advantage of their kindness. But Winry eventually forgave me. She probably heard me crying myself to sleep every night and noticing how I punished myself with the overwhelming guilt.

Learning from my mistakes, I had adressed it and apologized to her. Winry was mad at me, but she said that I had gotten hurt defending them after all. That I had changed my mind and decided not to hurt them but protect them instead. That was the only reason she was able to look me in the eye.

As time passed by, the tension slowly dissapeared. I had tried to leave many times, feeling unworthy of that home, but Pinako and Winry welcomed me. They forgave me and accepted me, knowing how much I had suffered. I did all I could to give back for everything they had done for me.

One day I jumped up, startled, when Winry screamed out downstairs. I stopped reading the alchemy book I was holding and paused, trying to hear something. There was a lot of movement in the house, and I thought I heard the Elric brothers’ names. Moved by a hunch, I stick my head out the window and gasped at the sight. A familiar figure with long blond hair was walking towards the house, accompanied by someone I had never seen. But judging by the similarities with the other person, I had a very approximate idea of who it was.

“Edward and Alphonse!” Without thinking twice, I ran down the stairs and opened the door just as Winry was receiving Edward.

I suddenly froze at the door when their eyes fell over me, realizing I wasn’t exactly welcome amongst them. Winry had been clear about her opinion of me when I first arrived, and by the glare Edward was giving me, I could tell he was still resentful.

I looked down in shame, thinking about going back into the house and isolating myself like I had been doing for so long now. Only Pinako had been somewhat kind towards me seeing as I had nowhere else to go. And she was still a little wary despite it all.

“Y/N” Alphonse mumbled my name in a way that made my heart skip a beat. He said it with excitement, like he had missed me, like he was genuinely glad to see me.

The sound of his voice stirred something within me. Overall, it was the fact that it wasn’t echoed inside an empty armor. It had a human body to accompany it now. And I had missed him, I didnt’ realize how much until he was there.

I smiled up at him, cautious, and he reciprocated the gesture. Then he did something I would have never expected he’d do, because I didn’t think I deserve such kind treatment. But Alphonse opened his arms, inviting me to hug him.

I didn’t think twice, I didn’t lose my chance. I ran towards him and we collided in a tight tender hug. I buried my face in his shoulder and held him tight, fascinated by the physical feeling of his body for the first time since I knew him. There was no empty armor anymore, he got his body back. There was flesh and bone now.

“I’m sorry, Alphonse…” I sobbed, feeling terrible for what I put them through, for what I did to them, for ruining our friendship by betraying their trust even if I didn’t have a choice. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t really want to do any of it, but…”

“It’s okay” His soft voice interrupted me as his gentle hands rested over my back. Every single gesture, every time our bodies somehow got in contact, it was so tender and warm. “That doesn’t matter now”

I couldn’t help but to cry a little, feeling equally repentant for what I did and emotional because he had forgiven me. He lovingly squeezed me against him, bringing me a wonderful feeling of belonging.

“Y/N…” There was the sound of my name again, this time spoken with apathy and even contempt. A mere acknowledgment of my presence, which was more that I could ask for.

Alphonse and I slowly broke away and I looked over to Edward, who glared at me still. Winry was by his side, giving me a not as harsh but definitely wary glance.

“Hello, Edward” I dedicated him my best smile, but he seemed unimpressed.

Right after, he walked away with Winry, the both of them chatting as they came into the house.

“Your brother hates me” I mumbled to Alphonse, sighing in resignation.

“Give him time” He chuckled a little. “He’s a little pigheaded, but he’ll come around”

I took a good look at Alphonse and realized he looked very thin and tired. After his body was locked away for so long, I could tell it had been neglected. I felt the impulse to look after him to make up for everything. And anyway, I wanted to look after him, I was fond of him after all.

“You’re more or less like I had imagined” I said with a sheepish chuckle as I headed back towards the house. He followed, taking his time.

“Really?” Alphonse smiled wider, allowing me to link my arm with his and let him lean his weight over me. After so long being an empty armor, a body was probably a heavy burden until he got used to it again.

“Yeah, but you look very thin and… honestly, exhausted” I admitted, worriedly looking at him. His cheeks were sunken and there were bags under his eyes.

“I’ll be okay” He brushed it off with a simple shrug, even if his smile grew tired, like he was actually letting his outside to reflect the inside for the first time .

“I’ll look after you until you get better” I said happily, deciding to add something in case I had overdone myself. “If you want me to, of course”

“I could use some rest”

“I’ll spoil you a lot”

“How?”

“Well… helping you however I can and… baking for you!”

“You bake?”

“I learned since we were apart, I can make a lot of things from your list!”

“I would love that”

Just then, we walked into the house to meet with Edward, Winry and Pinako. The three of them turned to us when we did. Pinako seemed endeared that I was so willing to look after Alphonse, and so was Winry. Edward had this expression, like he hadn’t noticed he should have helped his brother walk into the house but was glad that I did. Almost like he was considering giving me a second chance seeing as I cared so much about his brother. Almost.

“I’m hungry, actually” Alphonse muttered to avoid the embarrassing moment.

“I’ll bake you something right away! How about apple pie?” I remembered that was a part of his list, he had been looking forward to eat it.

“That sounds delicious” He nodded, earning a smile from me.

Excited, I held his hand and took him into the kitchen with me, then helping him sit down in the chair so he could rest after the long journey.

“Do you want some apple pie too?” I shouted to the hall, my heart beating in anticipation.

“Okay” Replied Winry and Pinako.

“Edward?” I tried again, hopeful that I could eventually earn his forgiveness.

“No…” He sounded doubtful, and after a brief pause he corrected himself. “Maybe”

“Coming right up!” Feeling renewed and with a newly found energy, I quickly picked up the apron and put it over my torso.

I smiled at Alphonse as I gathered the ingredients necessary to bake the pie. He smiled back in a gesture filled with love and fondness.

Tag list: @overpowered-insanity / @dancewaterdance02 // If you want to be added or taken off the tag list for these fandoms or characters, let me know!!

#imagine #oneshot #text imagine #fullmetal alchemist #fullmetal alchemist imagine #fullmetal alchemist oneshot #fma #fma imagine #fma oneshot #edward elric #alphonse elric #winry rockbell #pinako rockbell #lust #greed #reader insert #requested

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gg-astrology · 6 years ago

Note

Similar to the kai and chanyeol ideal post can you do one for baekhyun?

Hey there!! ❤️❤️ I can do an outline for you?? It’s not an ideal type thing (and the chanyeol/kai one wasnt either ;;) but I hope this is what you want ❤️

[EXO Byun Baekhyun Brief Outline]

note: ‘brief outline’ is different from ‘overviews’ but I hope its enjoyable anyways ;;

Alrighty next up is Byun Baekhyun!

I’m so excited I saw his Aries/Taurus and I already love it

Taurus Sun | Gemini Moon | Aries Mercury | Taurus Venus | Aries Mars

God where do we even start with this one skjnsknsknk

First let’s note the squares happening here (Mars is at 0′)

Moon/Mars square– that Gemini Moon it’s immediately noticeable when he has a certain animated nature about him. When the charger (Moon) is plugged into the outlet (Mars) – it’s kinda like if there’s too much electricity/power going into the charger that it overheat/fries up (square).

Here’s the thing, having an aspect at all is a good thing. It doesn’t just talk about bad stuff its the placement interacting with one another. Moon/Mars people are often low-key competitive, wants to win, animated and expressive speakers. Especially with these placements, these people can often be fast/talkative communicators who may adapt well to becoming leaders in certain regards or even information relayers.

The one thing to look out for is that they may project a tougher image than who they are – in certain instances their feelings may be hurt, but can cover it up with humour/make light of it (Gemini/Aries) as well as dolling it out– but then regretfully not being able to take it back/receive as well as they give.

See as much as they ‘wear their hearts on their sleeves’ sometimes with the way they talk (serious or in a fun/joking manner) their expressiveness also means that they are much more sensitive and emotional than they appear as well. Certain things (balancing) can hurt them, but they may not let that vulnerabilities shows and instead ‘put up a front’ sometimes.

With Aries in particular, their way of speaking may not bode well for everyone. Yes, he has Taurusean placements to balance that out. But in a manner of how he expresses (mercury/mars) the way he comes across can sometimes be blunt, straight-forward, objective or harsh to those who may be looking for more sympathy/diplomacy.

Considering this Gemini Moon/Aries Mars aspects– in order to cope with feedback regarding sometimes being harsh, he can often brush it off by overthinking the situation sometimes and keeping it in with himself until he can express/explain it outwards (talking TO people not conversing WITH people)

Anyways that’s something to consider. Next is his Taurus Sun square Aquarius Saturn at a 2′ orb. Immensely stubborn, that ‘tough skin’ persona again. May have known/learnt how to ‘hold his ground’ (essentially) from challenges in his life and may have faced some kind of alienation somewhere in there as well.

Because the ‘ego’ (Sun) is built up to be ‘resilient’ against challenges/circumstances— he is both progressive (Aquarius) and traditional/conservative (Taurus) he manages himself through ‘persistence’ and ‘understanding’ why something is the way it is (and arguing why it shouldn’t be) – may often sympathize with the underdogs. And can often come across as someone who’s restrictive (authoritative) controlling in order to ‘nurture’ others.

Reputation and making it by being ‘true’ to himself is a big deal– being generally accepted by the conservatives as well as the youth/progressives is something that’s personally fundamental to him.

Certain ‘fears’ (Saturn) in regards to criticism, how people view him, fitting in in some cases– can be prominent. For those who ‘wants’ something (ambitious) but also fear ‘losing themselves/the consequences that comes with that’ – understanding that you can sometimes try to ‘discipline’ yourself too harshly, or criticize your own self too much that it becomes self-decrepitation instead of constructive progression.

Try not to rotate into thinking ‘if i didn’t do anything to deserve that/silver spoon fed to me, then it’s not a ‘true’ win’ – because that in itself can be an unhealthy coping mechanism.

Basically, there’s a lot of pride here and strength that comes with facing challenges. He’s won them by resilience and patience, a lot of hard-work put in to ‘back up’ all his successes. But with that comes with dependency on criticism, and judgement that he thinks is ‘good’ because it ‘disicplines/keeps him humble’ in some way. If it doesn’t come from others– then it comes from himself.

And this kind of mentality can often push someone into being close-minded, fearful of progression and also yearning/angst over wanting to ‘deserve’ things but needing/wishing to ‘accomplish’ them on their own efforts somehow.

You don’t need to push yourself down or think you need to ‘deserve’ something– most things you DO deserve, but it’s a matter of how you handle opportunities and conduct yourself into being ‘gracious’ or all that jazz after wards that’s holding you back.

If you have the same problem: consider that sometimes you can be harsh on yourself without no need to be, or think you should deny something because you may be scared of ‘not knowing’ (certainty) your own behaviour/method/how to be gracious without justifying your own actions/thoughts/opportunities.

If you find yourself saying “I shouldn’t” when you should do something, or say something, or ‘deserve’ something (talking yourself down from it) then perhaps consider how your Saturn is influencing your Sun. In some parts, you are most likely guilty or regretful and this is the core factor that stops you from pursuing something. Learn how to NOT be guilty or stand up without slouching, it can be a valuable lesson in how you treat yourself and a posture change for you!

Another thing that can be noted is that Sun/Saturn person may resort to sarcasm or humour in order to make light of a situation. Baekhyun may be cautious in this regard– got me once shame on me, got me twice even more shame on me. Ideally, he may restrict himself in order to be cautious. But at the same time, may abhor certain disciplinarian/”injustice” that he had faced and would not want that on other people (thus why the ‘underdog’ part also Aquarius Saturn)

This is reinforced with Sun/Pluto opposition (Taurus/Scorpio) especially with a Scorpio in rx. There’s a strong desire and ambition for things, a humbleness within Taurus but also clearly they know when they should be ‘rewarded’ and not pushed too much (the bull after all) Scorpio Pluto brings a competitive spirit, challenging, a need for transformation not only for the self but for others/socially as well.

In regards to how it affects the person (internally) it can cause inner tension and accumulation of stress to build up, negative thoughts (obsessive/depressive) can be a hard experience to steer away from. In order to cope and manage it better– the individual with Sun/Pluto aspects will have to learn how to utilize these inner strength (resilience, charisma, self-empowered) in order to heal and dispel negativity outwards in order to find balance internally as well.

Through learning how to efficiently work and bring changes externally, they may also curb their fears internally. But in this regard, if they seek to control too much of others/environment/things that are happening, it can negatively impact the internal as well. So knowing ‘when’ and ‘how’ to use it is crucial.

Personal accomplishments should be self-accepted instead of dismissed/looked at in a view that it ‘could be better’ – in a way, dissatisfaction with the ‘self’ (Sun) is common under the cold stare of Pluto. If the individual hides too much of themselves away (lock things up until they feel they could ‘express’) they would end up hiding/fearing people’s reaction to ‘who’ they are (sensitive to criticism/external circumstances)

Thus when you can’t control external comments (what people say about you) you try to compensate by controlling what your actions are, what you can say/do – and ends up re-working the self over and over again until it becomes an obsessive and possibly unhealthy cycle instead.

The key to getting out of this loop is self-acceptance and self-love. He is a sensitive person perhaps more against criticism (guarding against it) but he’ll also need to show certain development (no matter how slow it is) in order to get ‘out of the cycle’ as well.

Steps in learning how to listen to others, how to open up, how to seek support that is good for him emotionally (nurturing in a kind/patient way) will help the Taurus/Scorpio native alot. As it could stop self-destructive mindset and behaviours that may arise as well.

Phew ;; sorry for all the heavy talk I just wanted to get this out of the way first. Let’s move onto other things?

Okay positive things!

First of all he does have a prominent Mercury/Saturn sextile, with Mercury being in Aries Baekhyun is someone who is often very adept at being direct/straightforward. In a way, we may not often see him pulling the strings at cohesively piecing members thoughts together. The quality of Aries (fire/cardinal) is often used in a way that’s pulling things together. Someone can add an adjective, someone contributes a noun. Baekhyun pulls these together and make it streamlined and cohesive as a sentence.

In a way, it’s similar to ‘organizing’ the structure in the group– but at the same time, it’s very decisive and affirmative to be around because he notices when someone may be feeling some type of way/down and makes sure to re-confirm that they’re ok with the decision (or if otherwise, make sure to get their ‘story straight’ so they’re on the same page as well)

You don’t HAVE to be a leader to have leader-like qualities, or traits that inherently makes you able to assimilate different types of people together and your self-expression (Mercury) is appreciated by others. He has a distinct colour– strong voice, innocence charm (child sign) but can switch between enthusiastic and serious in a way that’s disciplined and mannered.

Mercury/Saturn aspects complements this– Aquarius Saturn and Aries Mercury makes for someone who is somewhat self-disciplined, or if he’s an authority figure (a hyung to others) he gives wise and good advice. With Aquarius in Saturn it’s highly likely he’d like to hear stories from other people– experiences and challenges, and mold that into something that makes the individual stronger/overcome their challenges. He has his Mercury square to Uranus/Neptune (Capricorn) which can sometimes aggravate his Aries Mercury a little— hot tempered, impatience, act before thinking and then retrospectively going ‘okay so maybe not’ but very sure and stubborn in his decision (huge pride – Aries/Capricorn)

His Sun however is trine to Uranus and Neptune (Taurus/Capricorn) – which says a lot about his sense of inspiration, pride, muses. In regards to the shaping/molding that his Sun has faced (ego/self) – unexpected excitement or opportunity for a job (Capricorn Uranus) as well as muses/complementary elements that could possibly elevate his vision without having to be cautious about everything (dispelling some of that Sun/Pluto energy in this context) is helpful.

There’s a strong sense of inner creativity, self-made/self-molded, in terms of his art form Taurus placements (especially his) may seek to find what’s ‘intuitively right’ for them. Rather than being made up, they seek the organic essence of who they are and how they can express that ‘naturalism’ forward in their craft. The ‘self-pride’ is carried through when they are able to express a certain aptitude they have forward in their ‘own way’.

Moon in Gemini is such a prominent thing in a chart full of Aries/Taurus. It’s a refreshing breath of fresh air because these people are so charming, witty and has a youthful/buoyancy to them that you just can’t deny. Combined with his Aries outlets (Mercury/Mars) it makes for a combination of someone who inspires others (Gemini moon - Aries Mercury/Mars) motivate/uplift others and is essentially a ‘mood-maker’ in a way in the group.

They can however, also be moody or switch their behaviour sometimes. Often you’ll find Gemini Moons being individuals who would rather deal with things by themselves, and once they’ve figured it out they ‘let it out’ to others kinda like writing it all down on paper and being done with it. They aren’t looking for advice, or a conversation about the subject– but rather they’re expressing their opinion/thoughts and that’s that on that.

In another area – combining this Taurus Sun/Gemini Moon together can make for a person who neglects their emotional sphere. Sure they have qualities in them that ARE emotional (or acknowledged about that) but there’s a certain denseness that Taurus has to their own internal self ( the deeper-rooted problem they should acknowledge) and Gemini Moon makes it almost impossible for you to get a word in with helping them deal with their own problem (acknowledging the Taurus– because then the Gemini Moon doesn’t want to converse no matter how chatty it gets, it just wants to rant, dump and go. It may be polite and offer you a chance, but most likely you’ll just get them impatient/moody and flippant on you again)

So there’s this thing where he 1) is sensitive, but not completely self-aware (which can cause oopsies in situations) 2) highly independent and super stubborn, has to figure it out himself and would not listen to others while they say it out to him and 3) may take things personally sometimes but won’t admit it. And is defensive as a mechanism (both Taurus and Aries are defensive sign. Yes, defensive because they ‘react’ to things but may sometimes have a hard time explaining ‘reasons’ or communicating about it at a deeper level)

Complicated or heavier emotions within themselves or with others can be something that they’ll learn how to deal with. Most likely, as a reflection. The more they experience and ‘learn’ how to deal with their deeper psyche/emotions themselves, the more they’ll see the complexity of it in others/be able to help. But this is a completely self-dependent person who has a lot of goals, drive, motivation – and will need to figure that out on their own.

I said this will be positive so we’re going to talk about Moon/Jupiter sextile – his emotions are usually well-received by the public, often coming across as charismatic, chatty, open-friendly towards others which attracts people to him like a light source. This complements his challenger quality to stick up for the underdogs, but also his Sun/Uranus-Neptune aspect that makes him personally popular with others– in this case, on a personal/emotional level as well.

It’s not like he’s OVERTLY emotional just that people feel comfortable around him. He can read the atmosphere and use it to adjust/make others feel more accepted. In a way, his honesty and open-communication style in handling/dealing with interpersonal relationship is relieving and amazing for others– which contributes to his overall popularity as well.

Taurus Venusian are gifted honestly, with Taurus being domicile in Venus the individual who is also a Taurus Sun is well-liked, loved, nurturing and adored. It’s mostly to do with how ‘homey’ they feel sometimes, but more so than that it’s their natural gift in being able to accept and make people feel ‘safer’ when they’re with them.

Naturally protective, but also a distinctive easy-going vibe that can sometimes edge on the deeper, more profound bond of trust/loyalty. There’s no doubt that Baekhyun is someone who holds these deep bonds/connections very prominently in his relationships. And he himself isn’t one to sever a bond unless there really is no ‘up’ from there anymore (fixed/earth)

He may even have a harder time ‘letting go’ of certain things because of it. But y know what let’s talk about Venusian Beauty in Taurus first.

Creation and self-expression is one of the same, it’s a continuation of the ‘self’ created from the ‘core’ and then carried on into how they ‘create’ other things around them like little babies afterwards. I always think of Aphrodite walking up from the seafoam and then forming little pearls to give it back into the world?

The nature of Taurus Venus isn’t explicitly sexy or electrifying– it’s sensual and physical, comforting, alluring but also protective. A nurturing kind of love. In a way, you can depend on them if you need somewhere to rest/lie on. They require a sense of trust and routine in order to manifest outwards and bloom into a flower. Kinda like if you’re gardening, you need to make sure the soil/ground and environment is right, before you can see it prosper into the flower you want it to be (takes time)

There’s an element of ‘certainty’ to the way he expresses himself– either in his vocal stability, his promises to the fans, his inner sense of self-worth or integrity. You can trust him because these Taurusean bind their love into their efforts, and work/push hard in order to make it personal/meaningful towards those things/people they care for.

In a way of self-expression, they can be persuaded/find immense joy in comfortability and stability of what they’ve earned. Staying at home, organizing things (Gemini Moon) going out (Aries Mars) either way– the bed and place of comfort, the food and the quality that comes with it is much more important than the quantity they get to do these things.

I hope that makes sense?? Like it’s quality over quantity here for these Taurus– even when their Gemini Moon (moods/subconscious) screams anxiety at them to do more, work more, do much much more. The energy of Taurus pulls it back and keeps it fixed. Would much rather get something out that is to their standard/expectations than below it– which can tie into the Sun/Pluto stuff but we’ve already talked about that.

Besides this, his Venus/Jupiter is trine as well – this makes for someone who is deliberate, careful and often dedicated to the details. Can sometimes be hard on himself, but he tries to make the best effort in giving out to people.

Perhaps charity work or even showing good character. There’s a sense of fairness and humble-natured, being able to put his effort into working for something he may not even get paid for (in a show of good will) and also generosity in the meaninful way he can give (expressing this out because let’s face it he can sometimes be awkward with showing it in different ways)

Physicality and tactile quality of Taurus– especially in regards to Jupiter in Virgo should also be noted. Paying attention to details, providing rapport/support for others, being in someone’s corner. They’re understated, but important. And these are the qualities that makes people trust him.

So then we have Aries in Mars. Great position, fantastic especially considering how he can sometimes pent up a lot of stuff and may need a little straight-forward talking to occasionally. In regards to stress-accumulation and building, he doesn’t hold it in.

Okay so maybe he does, but most likely he’ll have to express it in some ways and it’ll be done and over with. In a way– if he had anymore fixed placements this would’ve been too much self-reproach. Having an Aries in Mars really helps with positive, future-forward thinking.

It can drive his Taurus a bit mad if he refuses to acknowledge/prefers to do this in order to procrastinate from his inner rooted problems sometimes, but essentially if he does balance it out and spend time getting to complement the side that wants space, predictability, time (Taurus) and the side that’s telling him to go go do things (Gemini/Aries) he’ll learn the lessons of how to help these things out as well.

All of these placements are pointing right down to this Aries in Mars needing directness, straight-forwardness. If you’re indecisive or wish-washy, beating around the bush he can sometimes get frustrated with not understanding you (frustration at himself, lashing out on you) – he means well, but he also means to simplify, teach, and move on.

With so much Venusian and Martian energy in a person you can somewhat see how he’s a proud, strong and independent character. Deeply loyal although deeply independent. Can sometimes keep things to himself, yet amazing at nurturing others (protective/guarding).

He’s a lot more authoritative than we give him credit for, pulling the strings behind or in front of the stage. He’s self-dependent, but also moved to help, motivate, and inspire/give a hand to others when they need a little personal push themselves.

Emotional wise, he may need more time to figure it out. Yes, he’s tactile and caring. Loves deeply and takes his vows seriously, but at the same time his own internal emotions and how he expresses that outwards will also need time. Time to develop, time to grow, time to figure things out by himself for himself. But he can do it!

Alrighty that’s it for baekhyun! ;; 🧡 I didn’t expect it to come out like this but here we are!! 🧡🧡 I hope there were some things that is understandable and you view it with compassion 🧡🧡 A lot of people grow and mature as they age, and the same with baekhyun– I’m sure he’s grown to be a lot more mature and figured (or is continuing to figure since it’s a never-ending thing with Gemini) things out now, better than before, anyways 🧡🧡🧡

#anon #asks #exo astrology #baekhyun astrology #byun baekhyun #exo baekhyun #baekhyun exo #exo #kpop astrology

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kirinda-ondo · 6 years ago

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Rant/tell me about Cobalt and why u love him so much??

Ok so this is probably going to get very long, and very, very cheesy, and I hope y’all are ready for this.

Cobalt is a very special character to me and is absolutely my favorite character of all time, from anything in the history of ever. It doesn’t matter what other fandom I’m hyperfixated on or what character I’m saying is my son at the moment, if you bring him up at any time, in any context I will be there.

So you’re probably wondering how I got here.

Once upon a time, it was 2009 and I was a young weeaboo, constantly absorbing everything anime or manga I could. I had just come out from the Astro Boy movie, and I immediately wanted to watch the source material. I’d already seen a bit of it on adult swim when they were running an Astro Boy marathon, but I had to go to bed at 11:30 then so I didn’t get to see much. So this time, I went to youtube and I found all the (dubbed) episodes of the 60s series. (Sadly you can’t find them all there anymore and it’s a crying shame).

I basically marathoned them, but over in the sidebar where the recommendations were, I kept seeing the thumbnail for part 2 or 3 (this was back when youtube only let you post 10 minute videos and you had to watch anime in 3 parts) of the episode “Brother Jetto.” You could plainly see him, and so it was clear this was supposed to be Astro’s brother. I thought it was neat that Astro even had a brother, as I’d only known about Uran before. I wanted to know more, but I promised myself I wouldn’t skip ahead. Though it was very tempting at times, I stuck to my guns and watched all 83 episodes up to that point.

However, it was not actually love at first sight. When I finally got to this episode 84, I wasn’t really impressed. “Wow, he’s kind of annoying, what’s the point?” I had thought like a fool, but I was still willing to accept him as part of the canon, as I figured I’d be seeing a lot more of him now that he had been introduced. After all, that’s what they did with Uran! But then…. that pretty much didn’t happen at all, which I thought was kind of weird. After all, why introduce a new sibling if he’s not going to show up again?

But then I got to the episode “A Deep, Deep Secret” about 6 episodes later, and I found myself a little relieved that he wasn’t completely canned. Upon watching that episode, I’d found that he’d started to grow on me a bit, but he still wasn’t my favorite. However, the trend of him being gone for several episodes only to show up once in a blue moon continued until I’d run out of episodes. I moved on to the 80s series next (and then the 2003 series) having learned that Cobalt had been replaced by Atlas as Astro’s brother. While I enjoyed those series (the 80s one a bit moreso than the 2003 one), I found myself kind of missing Astro’s dingus brother that had barely seemed to get a chance. After marathoning all the series (at the time), I started doing some googling and found out he had a slightly better run in the undubbed Japanese episodes (which was also how I discovered AB-O! Hi fandom!) and I’d learned a lot more about him. But the most important thing I’d learned was that I was in fact very emotionally invested in this character now and I was in deep.

Mind you at this time the undubbed Japanese episodes were nearly impossible to find without purchasing the complete DVD set and a player that could play them (on account of the fact that the set was region locked from western DVD players) so for years I sat wondering more about what those Japanese episodes were like, as the forums only had plot summaries with a handful of screencaps to go off of. Nowadays you can watch all the undubbed (and sadly unsubbed) episodes here but 13 year old me did not have the knowledge to do foreign language googling at the time.

But still, my Cobalt-loving heart wanted more, so I scoured the English speaking internet for whatever I could find, official or fanmade. Official content was virtually nonexistent, and the amount of fanmade content, I could count on one hand. The general fan consensus at the time seemed to be “Who the hell is Cobalt” or “Eh, whatever,” which was a far cry from how it is now. But being horribly deprived back then, I did the only thing I could: I combed through the dub for every episode he was in, coming up with a whopping total of…..four (well technically five but in that one he’s literally only in the last five seconds with no animation or lines), and I watched them religiously. I could pretty much quote Cobalt’s debut episode by heart. (For the record I can no longer do this to the extent I used to, but should the opportunity arise, I can still quote large chunks of it).

As I did this and learned more about him in my desperate googling, I started developing jokes for what would become my first silly comics, for which I am known in this fandom for. The art and writing for these was….. painful, to say the least, so I don’t even like to think about it, but as I’d already had a decently sized following from drawing silly (read: bad) Sonic comics, they caught on decently well, and I’d even managed to drag my friend and son down with me into Cobalt Hell™. Together, we made a group for Cobalt fans on deviantart (which is still up, but I no longer run it, as I deactivated the account that modded it without transferring ownership, so now it’s likely a wild west hellscape that I’m a little scared to look at).

This seemed to help do the trick though, as Cobalt fans were slowly coming out of the woodwork and appreciating this good boy. On and off I’d spread my yelling about Cobalt (and my silly drawings) to different platforms like the Astro Boy forums and tumblr, and even as I got into different things, after awhile, things kinda grew without me. Now I’m not gonna be out here claiming I built this city myself with my own two hands, as a lot of people got dragged into this hell of their own accord, but I do like to think my, umm….passion at least helped generate some interest, and I can’t help but be proud of how far this fandom has come from “Who the hell is Cobalt” to “Look at this good boy, I love him” and literally all the other Cobalt fans I’ve met have been the coolest people (in general, not just because of their good taste).

I think what really changed my life though was when AprilSeven, a mod on the Astro Boy forum and also probably the original Cobalt fan, as she’d seen the 60s version back when it was originally airing, finally got a hold of the undubbed Japanese episodes, and graciously allowed me and a few of the other big-name Cobalt fans get in on that action, and boy howdy, the screenshots and plot summaries really did not do these episodes justice (at least in terms of Cobalt content). My understanding of him as a character expanded like tenfold, and my appreciation of him expanded even more than that.

…Which brings me into a nice segue in which I shift more into just exactly why I like Cobalt so much. Yes, there’s more. I warned y'all, this was gonna be a Pandora’s Box that could not be closed once it was opened.

I honestly just find him a joy to watch. A lot of what made him grow on me was just how funny he is. I’m a sucker for comic relief characters in general, and he has a personality that lends itself to comedy. In the anime version, he’s literally introduced right out the gate as being kind of a dingus. He’s naive, he’s way too trusting of obviously suspicious people, he’s easily confused, he’s easily distracted, he’s a klutz, and he just… regularly destroys the laws of physics and/or the fourth wall just because. Sometimes he also gets weird ideas in his head to do things that could have been done a completely different, easier way and weirdly enough, it actually kind of winds up working? It’s so fun to watch him approach problems because he’s just… so far out there sometimes.

But beyond being absolutely weird and hilarious, he’s just a really sweet kid. He doesn’t like to fight, he wants to make friends with everyone and everything, he will drop literally anything he’s doing, no matter how important it is, to help someone in need, he’s good with babies and small children and puppies (sometimes), he would fight (and sacrifice himself) for his family, and just means well even if he tends to bungle things up and make them worse sometimes. Honestly, and this is gonna sound dumb, but he helped me be a better person. I used to be an absolute asshole when I was younger, but once I’d gotten into Cobalt Hell™, I was like “I wanna be that sweet and good (but with a better sense of stranger danger)” and I made that effort and did that shit.

That being said though, he’s not perfect, and I wouldn’t want him to be. His flaws, though they kind of give him the short end of the stick in life, are a lot of why I find him so endearing. All the naivety and confusion and general lack of coordination I mentioned before aside, he’s honestly just really relatable. He’ll say jokes so bad that Uran wants to punch him, he’ll opt out of the plot because he doesn’t want to get out of bed, he’ll fight with his siblings over silly petty things, he’ll get frustrated if he tries something and it doesn’t go his way, he’ll absolutely partake in his siblings’ mischief (if not start it sometimes), and just so much more. He just feels like a kid you would know (or maybe a kid that you were at one point) and I really appreciate that about him.

Unfortunately, the canon was not kind to Cobalt, and I think a lot of that comes from Osamu Tezuka just… not knowing what to do with him after making him? Like in the manga, he was just kind of created as a really rushed contingency plan because they thought Astro was missing. Sure, he was taken in as part of the family afterward, but not many appearances later, he was killed off in a firey explosion… Until Tezuka decided to change his mind and let him live in the end. His grave’s still there though. He gets to see it. I know it’s a framing device to explain the circumstances of Cobalt’s retconned death but it’s kind of fucked up to let a boy see his own grave..

Even being brought back, Cobalt didn’t get to do very much. He’d get some good scenes with Uran, but a lot of the time, he was sort of just relegated to filling up space in the background, provided he actually survived til the end of the chapter. When he wasn’t getting forgotten by the plot and thusly zapped out of existence, he would wind up sacrificing himself in some way that wouldn’t allow him to continue to take part in the plot anymore (be it parts, energy, etc.) The most painfully egregious example of this is in the chapter “Youth Gas.” Astro and Cobalt are convinced to fight each other to the “death.” They’re not really dead, but Ochanomizu says they are and can’t be repaired. At first, there’s mourning for “two of the world’s greatest robots,” but then we see a funeral service in which only Astro’s body is shown and his parents are only mourning him, completely forgetting Cobalt exists. He’s never seen again for the rest of the chapter. Now I would assume this is just a writing mistake, but it really does make it look like Cobalt’s own parents wouldn’t even bat an eye if he died, so there’s that.

The anime isn’t quite as horrible, and it is kind enough to give Cobalt a more prominent role once he finally shows up (even getting a handful of focus episodes!), but he doesn’t go unscathed either. In this version, he has the misfortune of being created by Dr. Umataro “Father of the Year” Tenma before Astro was made and was scrapped because, to quote dub!Ochan, “his electronic brain wasn’t as perfect as Dr. [Tenma] wanted.” (read: he thought Cobalt was a dumbass). Cobalt is eventually found and brought into the family, but because he still winds up not being relevant to the plot a lot of the time, he is once again zapped out of the existence and looks like a victim of child neglect. As a result, he gets left out of family vacations and holidays, even in favor of Chi-tan, who is usually even higher on the scale of irrelevant Astro Boy characters. Unlike Astro, Cobalt doesn’t have any consistent friends to even remotely justify what he could possibly be doing offscreen by himself, so it just kind of implies a very sad and lonely existence in-universe.

And of course, the final, meta blow that literally every fan of Cobalt is still despairing about to this day: basically being yeeted out of the canon. After the 60s series, he disappeared off the face of the earth until 2015 when some lovely soul decided to bring him back for Peeping Life TV: Season 1?? (The question marks are part of the title). He’d be referenced again a couple years later in Atom: The Beginning, and will be here for the game Eshigami no Kizuna sometime in 2019 as a… moe anime girl. That’s a little weird, but I’m hoping these sorts of weird appearances will mean a trend toward putting him back in the canon (and hopefully being treated better).

It just hurts my heart to see such a good character get treated like this by canon. He deserves way better and it just seems really clear to me that Tezuka didn’t really know what to do with him. I feel like he has a lot of potential as a character, though. Regardless of what origin you pick for him, Cobalt is essentially existing as a worse version of Astro. I feel like you could have some good character development regarding how he would feel about himself in relation to Astro in sort of a parallel to how Astro might feel about himself in relation to Tobio, the person he was based off of. You could go some neat places with these sort of questions about identity and expectations, I think. Or if you want to just do something funny because your character arcs are getting too real now, you can just let Cobalt do some silly shit. He’s a versatile character!

I’ve done all this rambling and now I’m not really sure how to wrap all this up, so umm

Cobalt is a good boy and deserves better, please hire me Tezuka Productions, and thank you for coming to my TED Talk

#cobalt collection #kateh rambles #i feel like there's probably more i could have rambled about believe it or not but this is already so long.......

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alexiela73 · 7 years ago

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Ah! I have longed to ask you something for so long I love your work (inspired me to make my own writing blog as well). Is it ok if I ask something along the lines of Reaper finding out his s/o is a big theatre nerd and does a few play productions in their spare time? Also the reason for them not telling him was because they were too nervous on what he would think of them. Pretty please and thank you :)

It makes me so happy that my blog was capable of something like that. I’ll be sure to take a peek at your blog when I have a free moment. I bet its amazing! And yes, I absolutely can. My play choice is due to my current obsession

Tonight was the night of one of the largest performances you’d ever had the honor of being selected for. Beyond the curtains, you could hear the murmurs of the crowd as people took their seats and talked among each other. Everything backstage was like a race, with everyone trying to make sure every last detail was finished.

Right now you were in the dressing rooms with some of the actors, proud of yourself for playing in this small production of Hamilton. Of course, no one could do Hamilton like the original play actors, but after getting permission by the lead man himself, your small town had put this together.

And really hadn’t expected how many people in and outside of town wanted to see it. This was meant to be a charity play to help raise funds for the school you’d graduated from, where they were suffering from a lack of resources. Thus, the community had come together with the brilliant idea to hold a play and charity dinner.

It turns out, many people were eager to help the school out. So now the rows of chairs were full, and there were still people leaning against the walls, watching the hidden stage with anticipation.

Taking a deep breath, you double checked your clothes to see that every button was done and everything was where it should be. You were so excited, as you were to play Elizabeth Schuyler, one of the leads. It was an honor and you were just so ecstatic…and so nervous.

Ever since you were little, you had always wanted to be in the theatre. During school, drama class had been the only thing you truly lived for. And when you’d graduated, you’d been blessed with all these opportunities to continue this passion of yours. And you just…wanted tonight to be perfect for everyone.

It would be perfect for you, you thought with a sigh, if your boyfriend were here too… Immediately you had to shake the thought from your head, simply because of how absurd it sounded.

Gabriel Reyes, the man you’d dated almost a year now, had no idea that you were likely one of the biggest theatre nerds alive. He had no clue that while he was working, you’d be practicing for plays or teaching a theatre class for children under the age of thirteen. And he had no idea…that you were here tonight, possibly performing one of the most important plays of your life.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to tell him. And of course, Gabriel always seemed to support you in everything you did. But this…Gabriel was a mature man who took on a lot of responsibilities, ones that involved the lives of others. This, in comparison, was insignificant.

And then, what if he did know? What would he think of you, of your abilities and all this time that you put into something so small? Would he judge you, say that its a waste of time?

You didn’t want to believe he would, but you weren’t willing to let the opportunity arise where you might have to choose between the love of your life and your life-long passion. Because if you did…it would be him. It would always be him.

“Everyone get ready!” Yelled one of the volunteers. “Five minute count down,” he said, heading off and talking over a mic he was wearing.

The butterflies in your stomach were aching up again and you tried to take deep breaths, to focus on all the practice you’d been doing as of late. The lines went through your head, again and again. The cues, the light, everything you could possibly think of.

“Focus,” you whisper, its not much longer before the play begins.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first half of the performance went amazingly. There had been one or two minor hiccups where an actor had either frozen up for a moment or had forgotten a line, but the audience had only cheered them on and supported the people acting.

Somehow you’d managed to do your part without troubles. There was a moment where you’d thought you would cry, where the pressure of all those eyes on you had nearly held you in place…and then, the words had flowed from your mouth with an easy confidence.

It had been like a dream, where the crowds had disappeared like smoke and it was just you and the rest of the actors, practicing like usual. Just the way you’d pictured it had helped you to forget those watching, relax and really give it your all.

With the curtains closed, you went back to the dressing room and sat with a heavy thump. One or two others came in and out, though many of the actors were too busy high fiving and talking excitedly out with the production team about how incredibly the first part had been.

Not you though, you thought with a small laugh, as you gulped down some water. You needed a breather, to calm that racing heart of yours.

“You were amazing,” said a voice suddenly, causing you to jolt and leap to your feet and face the door. “Who would have known you could act so well? Certainly not me, since I’ve never been invited to one of your plays.”

For a moment you didn’t know what to say as you stared at the man standing in the door, his arms crossed and one eyebrow lifted. Gabriel was handsome, like always, and you wondered for a moment if this was some kind of hallucination caused by the stress from the play.

It took you a moment, as he stepped further into the room, before you opened your mouth. “How…I…How did you know I’d be here?” you asked after a moment, staring at him.

“You left your notes at home on the bed. I assume you had been practicing before you left and forgot to tuck it away, as usual,” he said calmly.

Oh damn…that note book of yours help all your lines, all your parts from every play you’d played in the last three years. The book was very full, and like a fool you’d left it out where he could see it.

“Why would you hide this from me?” Gabriel asked softly when you said nothing, stuck in place. “I thought people who dated were suppose to be honest with each other.”

Finally you seemed to regain your voice. “They are!” you cried, cheeks flushed hot with shame. “I just….I don’t know. I thought you’d think it was stupid, and then…I don’t know, reject me? Find it ridiculous, and the fact that I love it so much?”

As much as worry of rejection told you that it had been the right thing to hide it, in reality your mind know that it had been stupid. Honesty was the best policy and you knew that....but you’d just been so scared.

There was silence in the room, and you stared at the ground, positive he would walk away from you. It had been silly to hide this from him.

After a moment, you heard footsteps and a shadow fell over you. A gentle hand cupped your chin and lifted your face, forcing you to look up at him as he studied you. “....You make a good Eliza,” he said finally. “She was an strong and beautiful woman, just like you. I can’t wait to see the rest.”

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. “You...you’ll stay?” you asked with a small voice, staring up at him and he took your hand, squeezing it gently.

“Of course i’m going to stay. Baby, when you enjoy something this much, when it makes you this happy...it can’t be ridiculous, especially not to me. You could love clowns and if they made you this happy, then I’d be all for it,” he said, grinning when you shuddered and shook your head quickly.

Taking your chin once more, he lowered his head and brushed the sweetest of kisses across your lips. “The point is, sweetheart, that anything you care this much for is important to me. I want to support you, with all quirks and flaws and passions. Sure, I’m not a big theatre buff. But you are, and I only wish I could have seen all your other performances,” he said seriously, thumb brushing over your bottom lip.

You couldn’t help the tears that began to well in your eyes when he said that to you. It figures, the fact that you’d blown your fears out of proportion. Yet Gabriel was as supportive and caring as he always was, and the fact that you’d forgotten that for this long was sad.

“Thank you so much,” you whispered, hugging him tightly and he cradled you close, amused by your poofy skirt.

After a moment he pulled back, holding you an arms length away. “Now, go out there and give it your all. You have the voice of an angel, and baby, that is no lie,” he said with a wink before pecking your cheek and heading out to find his seat again.

Knowing he was out there, rooting for you....it gave you all the confidence you needed to perform the last half of the play without a worry. There was no hesitation, no second thoughts....just an unending joy from doing what you loved for the man you loved.

#Reaper #Reaper x Reader #Reaper Overwatch #Gabriel Reyes #Overwatch #Overwatch Stories #Overwatch Writing #Overwatch Imagines #Overwatch x Reader

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mariamuses · 7 years ago

Text

What I’ve Been Looking For

This is for @highladyfxyre who loves Mor above everything else. Also @queen-archeron who’s on temporary leave, so when she comes there’s a cute surprise waiting for her. Is anyone else out there Mor trash? Yeah, me too.

Happy Tuesday everybody! I just nailed a test and got inspired, but don’t expect it to happen too often. I mean the nailing tests part, obviously

Read it on AO3!

Summary: Mor needs a break from her perfect family so she takes a walk through Velaris, only for an opportunity for radical change in her life to arise.

Mor was walking through the Rainbow, just having come out for a walk after a family lunch. It was always nice seeing everyone, the kids, their friends having finally found happiness. And after everything that had happened in the war, she couldn’t be more glad for it.

The thing was, she didn’t feel like she was getting any of that ‘magic’ for herself.

Sure, she wasn’t dead, but everyone had gotten a happy ending. Nesta and Cassian, Feyre and Rhys, Elain and Az...

Mor deserved it too. Or at least, so she thought.

She had gotten out of there because it was too much. It happened sometimes and when it did, she knew she had to take a walk and think some things through.

That’s exactly what she was doing when a shrilling scream pulled her out of her reverie. It was high pitched and seemed to be a child’s.

She turned her head frantically, searching for the origin of it. Finally she located it coming from a little building on the side of the road. She headed straight for the door and burst into what seemed to be the only room of that house. In it she saw a healer, marked by her grey uniform, taking care of a woman who was lying on a matress on the floor. Beside that woman there was a little girl, with deep brown hair and shining amber eyes, barely four years of age. The girl was shaking the woman on the makeshift bed, and tears were streaming down her precious, big round eyes.

Now that Mor was closer, she could make out what the kid was saying.

“MOMMY! MOMMY WAKE UP! MOMMY, PLEASE, WAKE UP!”

Inmediately, Mor went to her side, pried her from what seemed to be her mother and after a lot of fighting, picked her up, enveloping the girl in her arms and soothing her with a gentle voice.

“Shhhhhhh, sweetie. Shhhhh. We need to let the healer do her job okay? Shhhhh. She’s doing what she can to bring your mommy back yeah?”

Even through those words, the baby didn’t stop crying so Mor started swaying a bit and looked around the room.

Now that the kid was with her, and not in any danger, she allowed herself to watch her surroundings.

The rooom was indeed the only one in the house, and it had spaces. There was a tiny kitchen with only a burner on it and a sink. No food on it either. Next to it was a bathroom that consisted of a toilet and a sink, which made her wonder how they washed themselves. The question was answered a glance later, when she found the couch with a homemade, thin, weathered blanket and beside it a bucket.

Carefully, she took a look on the sobbing child in her arms and examined her more closely. Just as she had noticed around the house, the girl wasn’t well kept either. She looked malnourished, the collarbone protruding from her very old and big shirt; as well as greasy and undone, messy hair, dirty nails and hollowed out eyes.

Mor started wondering what type of person could let a child live like this, and how could everyone have missed this.

Again, she was pulled out of her head when the healer stepped away from the mum, looking at her and shaking her head while she took the blanket and threw it on top of the now dead woman.

Then, she approached her, curtsying to the Morrigan.

“My lady” she bowed.

“Don’t. Just Mor, please. What’s your name? What happened?”

“I’m Iris. Neighbours heard the little girl screaming and called for me. When I came the woman was barely concious and I got to work but it was too late. I’m not even sure what killed her.”

At those words the little kid started crying even louder, but this time, Mor set her down, put her hands on the very thin arms and stared at her.

“Sweetie, what happened to your mommy?” she asked softly.

“MOOOOOMMYYYYYY!”

“Baby, we know, but we need you to tell us everything. Okay, we’ll start easy. What’s your name?”

“A.. A-Annie” cried the girl.

“Okay, Annie. Where are you from? Have you lived here all your life?”

“N-no. We moved he-here a few days ago... from the Hewn City”

At that Mor’s eyes widened, but quickly recovered her composure and turned to reasure the kid.

“That’s good. It’s nicer here, isn’t it.”

Looking into her eyes Annie nodded.

“Ok, now. I know it hurts, but can you tell me what happened to your mum?”

“She ate something bad. We didn’t have food when we scaped and we’d found this abandoned building so we moved in. But yesterday was the day that everyone from the Court of Nightmares could visit and mommy was scared that if they saw us they’ll force us to go back so we hid here all day. But we got so hungry, mummy stole fruit from the bad guys. We didn’t eat it until this morning, when she had a bite and then started coughing and spitting and then she fell to the floor and...” she got out through her sobbing. At the end though, she resumed it.

Mor promptly picked her up again, hugged her hard and started rocking her.

The healer took a look around the room and found the discarded, bitten fruit.

It was general knowledge that everything coming from the court visiting was spoiled or poisoned, but the mom probably had gotten desperate, hadn’t know and had tried a bite before her daughter, only for it to kill her.

When the healer finished inspecting the apple, she looked up and spoke.

“It is indeed poisoned. Ash wood dust, inyected into the core, making it look like a perfect piece.”

Silence was the only thing that followed.

Mor headed for the door, and only when she was out did she dare ask.

“What are we going to do with the kid?”

Iris critically glanced at the creature in Mor’s arms and concluded.

“I would like to do a check-up on her, because she’s probably going to need vitamins and some pills to pull her out of her malnutrition state, not just a healthy diet. Besides that... I don’t really know. No orphans have ever appeared in Velaris, so there’s no set path for this. I suppose that we’ll have to take it out to the High Lord.”

“Don’t. Can I adopt her?” she looked down to the little girl, who had stopped crying somewhere in the middle of their conversation and was now fast asleep, the events of the day having worn her down. “Look, I know that your going to say that it’s not your decision to make. But I’m healthy, I have the means to take care of her and I actually want to. Isn’t that worth something?”

The healer looked dubiously at her, then slowly nodded.

“It is worth something, but the High Lord is the one who has to agree on this.”

“I know, I know. And I’ll tell him. I guess, what I’m asking is, don’t tell him that this girl needs a family. Tell him that I want this girl to be my family.”

“Okay. But if the High Lord is the problem, I have a better idea” said Iris, smirking.

After that, they had gone to Mor’s bedroom, Annie still fast asleep, and with no other impediments, they got to work.

Iris completed the examination without waking her once, and told Mor exactly what to buy for the girl.

Right then, Feyre was called in. When the situation was explained, she agreed to sign whatever papers were necessary to make Mor’s new dream family happen; and even took a turn holding Annie.

Not too long afterwards, the kid woke up and was explained and informed of everything that was going to happen, if she wanted. After a little more crying, she sobered up and spoke.

“So, you want to be my new mummy?”

“Yeah, I do. With all my heart. And I’m going to take such good care of you: I’m going to buy you dresses, do your hair, introduce you to some friends and family, and most important, I’m going to love you as if you were my own.” got out Mor, silver lining her eyes.

“But I want my old mummy”

“And she will always be your mum. But she’s gone now and you get to have two mommies, maybe even three one day” she said, giving a side look to the healer who had made it all possible, and who she was starting to look with different eyes.

The kid looked down into her lap, then quickly up.

“Okay. But you have to promise me something.”

“What is it?”

“You can’t die too.”

“I promise I’ll do anything in my power not to.”

That seemed to be enough because she then proceeded to jum into her arms and buried her head into her new mum’s neck. Then, started speaking again.

“Morrigan? Can I-?

“Hey, hey, none of that. If I’m going to be your mum then you at least have to call me Mor. I know that you won’t like to call me mum for a while and that’s okay. But, only my enemies call me Morrigan.” interrupted Mor, shaking the girl a little.

“Okay. Mor?”

“Yeah sweetie?”

“Can I meet your family? I wanna get all the meetings over today.”

At that, everyone in the room bursted out laughing.

That same night, lying in bed with her new daughter in her arms, fast asleep, Mor thought how the day had developed. Her running out at lunch, meeting Annie, meeting Iris, who had given her her address so they could go out sometime, and obviously, check on Annie periodically; the baby agreeing to her, her meeting all the family, Rhys crying because she had finally found the happy ending she deserved...

But most of all, the rightness of it all.

There, lying in her bed, with Annie’s breathing breaking the silence, she felt complete, as if a piece of her that was missing had been brought back.

And she was happy.

#the superwoman tag #mor #my work #morrigan

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