#the opening note at least
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HMMM I’ve got a really weird pizza delivery
[Internal screaming]
#i have it on my hands now#it’s unopened#it had at least three owners before me#probably more!#But I will be the first one to finally open it and start using it as intended#listening to the smooth sounds of TF2 and screaming at the sky#- just as the cover note says#HELL YEEEAAAAAAAAHHHH#team fortress 2#tf2#vinyl records#vinyl aesthetic#game soundtrack
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Fuck it we ball, golden route were they all team up and rule over Fódlan together. Canon won’t let them be happy and alive together so I have to do it (+ soldier,poet,king reference since it’s literally them)
#dimitri and claude figure out that twsitd are behind all the bads things that have happened in their country and seek out eidie to kick ass#they propably dismantle the chruch or at least seperate the church from state while they’re at it lol#Hanneman cures edie of her crests so shes able to live a long life#or not idk i made two versions bc of that#together they open up fodlans boarders and start building relations with their neighboring countries#they form and alliens between their nations and become the high lords of fodlan#byleth is there#note to self: draw byleth next#yeah idk power of friendship or something#my mental health is relain to their well being#fuck edelgard and dimitri having to kill eachother#art#digital art#my art#fanart#digital illustration#fe3h#fire emblem 3 houses#fire emblem#fire emblem three houses#fe3h dimitri#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#fe3h edelgard#edelgard von fresberg#fe3h claude#claude von reigan#fe3h au#fe3h golden route au
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Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#About: Dead Apple. Watched this a while ago with a friend and it was a lot of fun!!!#If you're reading this: thank you so much for hanging out with me I had such a good time (ㅅ´ ˘ )♡#Next to general considerations: wow they were right that Bungou Stray Dogs movie sure can Bungou Stray Dogs#It's always nice to see the detailed animation and elaborate backgrounds of movies. The animation quality compared to the manga is–#definitely noticeable and it's nice to see. That said... I still like the season 2 art style more? And I'm speaking strictly of art style.#The s2 one looks more soft and smooth while the da one is so much more rough.#The plot is... Very bsd-esque I don't think there's anything to add.#In my opinion Kyouka's arc is the one that turned out best tbh. I really like her narrative development and personal growth in this movie.#I like the complexity of her state of mind. how full of contradiction she is. I especially appreciate the recurring small changes of–#expression that indicate how she thinks differently from Atsushi even if she doesn't voice them. The fight between her cynicism and her–#kind nature. It's all very interesting.#Atsushi's development is interesting too. Although all the open questions about his ability we still have kind of leave me frustrated#I don't feel very strongly about Akutagawa in this movie? I mean‚ he's there. The ss/kk scenes are always great and in character and a joy–#to witness no matter what they do. He just doesn't shine particularly? Or at least personally I dont find the “proving my strength against–#myself” narrative arc to be particularly interesting. Imo it was a lot better flashed out in the da stage play! With the complexity that–#the dialogues with Chuuya added to the character. Dazai attacking him. And especially Aktgw understanding that Rashomon wasn't testing Aktg#but rather only expressing that unstoppable rage that is also Aktgw's own. About that I checked out the play and I really liked it!!#I only watched highlights (aka: ss/kk and chuu/aku scenes) but there's some stuff I really like. I like the conflict between Aktgw and–#Chuuya and how Chuuya messes up with Aktgw at first maliciously and then amiably. It's interesting how Atsushi himself observes that Kyouka#and Akutagawa get along. And especially the sskk almost-handholding and Atsushi saying Akutagawa has a nice profile were cute akjdhbsawhjb#Next. Da really is shipping paradise (╥﹏╥) Sorry but... It is. oda/zai. daz/atsu. ss/kk. s/kk. fuku/mori. chuu/aku. It really has everythin#and the moments are so good!!!! What else. Wish we'd see more of Tsujimura. And Christie. And women in general tbh.#Also‚‚‚‚‚ Atsushi's tiger form in this movie is ATROCIOUS. I've said it before but it's crazy how a franchises that relies so heavily on–#fanservice came up with something this hideous. Man the movie overall was pretty but Atsushi sure wasn't. Firmly stand by the belief–#that only Akutagawa would find that form attractive.#Oh last note. honestly if we're ready to accept a movie where an antidote has effect AFTER the person has effectively died then we really–#can't complain about any kind of insanity the manga brings up#random rambles
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"why couldn't shuro have just been honest about what he felt with laios and falin it's not that hard" are you. are you White
#dungeon meshi#shuro#toshiro nakamoto#look you can hate him for other things but this is very clearly a case of cultures (& personalities influenced by these cultures) clashing#shuro is japanese/east asian-coded and laios is european white boy#i am not japanese but i also come from a collectivistic society#pakikisama is a filipino value both prized and abhorred#it relies heavily on being able to read social cues and prior knowledge of societal norms#shuro being from a different country/culture is important to his character#his repressed nature is meant to contrast with laios' open one like that's the point#they both had similar upbringings but different coping mechanisms#shuro explicitly admits that he's jealous of laios being able to live life sincerely#anyway the point is they were operating on different expectations entirely and neither had healthy enough communication skills#to hash things out before they got too bad#re his attraction to falin i personally believe he unfortunately mpdg-ed her#she represented something new & different. a fresh drink of water for his parched repressed self#alas not meant to be#i'll be honest the way ryoko kui handles both fantasy & regular racism in dm is more miss than hit for me#i don't doubt that a lot of the shuro hate is based off of marcille's pov of him#marcille famously racist 😭#characters' racist views don't often get (too) challenged#practically everyone is casually racist at some point#anyway. again if you're gonna hate shuro at least hate him for being complicit in human trafficking & slavery#he couldn't help falling for the wrong woman goddamn 😭#calemonsito notes#edit: upon further reflection i take back what i said about toshiro mpdg-ing falin!#i'm sorry toshiro 😭
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at least once a week during this b5 spiral i’ll have a realization of something that kicks me in the chest and i start a tumblr post like “do you every think about—” and then i stick it in drafts thinking no, i should write it as a fanfic so i can really share my pain with the group. and then i don’t write that, and think well, at least a better tumblr post, and then i don’t write that either and just stare into the abyss for two to thirty-six hours
#fyi this post was composed many more than 36 hours ago#about b5 thoughts that Are Killing Me Slowly#i have at least one for delenn and one for sinclair and one for sheridan and and and and#at a certain point i stopped even drafting these things i just open the notes app on my phone type three words and cry#babylon 5
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July 2018
maxiel, Daniel genderswap, pining, drunken hook-up alluded to
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Max wakes up slowly, feeling a girl cling to his side in the hotel bed. He can't remember Daniel and him inviting girls over to their shared room to unwind after Silverstone, but they did drink an inadvisable amount. Daniel had drank some noxiously sweet wine that some fan had gifted him. Idiotic, Max had thought. Max stuck to gin, a drink that normally doesn't leave him feeling this discombobulated. He feels wrecked, sore, and achy. He doesn't even feel ready to open his eyes.
The woman beside him stretches and sighs. "Rough night, eh, Maxy?" she says in a familiar Australian lit.
They both freeze.
Max sits up, slapping around the hotel lamp until he finds the switch. He stares wide-eyed at the woman lying beside him, her mass of dark curls against tan skin. Her wide, familiar eyes with that distinctive nose set between. Her hands are flung over her mouth, but Max can still see the right tattoos in the right places, only against different curves.
He glances down at perky, bare tits and soft, wide hips, and then back up in embarrassed shock.
"Daniel?"
"Yeah."
"You're a girl."
"So I've noticed."
Max gets up, starkly aware of his own nudity. He fumbles in the morning light for clothes, glancing at his reflection in the mirror as he pulls on a pair of sweatpants.
He's still quite himself, but the hickeys are new. He didn't know his face could feel this hot. He mentally feels memories from last night brush against his psyche in frustratingly fleeting snippets. Biting down on soft thighs. Warmth and tightness. Hard nipples in his mouth. God, he thinks, we finally did it and I can't fucking remember shit.
He looks back, seeing Daniel is gone. He panics and hustles to the bathroom where not-Daniel-but-still-Daniel stands and assess his body.
"Wow, kinda thought girl-me would have a bigger rack."
"You're taking this well."
"Well, obviously, we're dreaming."
"Hm."
Daniel twists in his spot, watching his reflection as he gives his ass a smack. Max is immediately hard.
"Daniel."
"Max," he echoes with faux shock. "Relax, this is, like, a seriously vivid dream. A horny one at that. I think we boned last night."
Max can't utter a word. He just watches as Daniel feels up his own body, smaller hands drifting over smooth skin. His nails skate along his thigh's tattoos, upwards to drift along fine hair between his legs. Max squirms and feels anything but asleep.
"So real," Daniel whispers.
"Can you maybe put something on?" Max begs. Daniel cocks an eyebrow and smirks. Max feels unnerved seeing his expressions in a feminine font. Daniel's refreshing confidence always made Max feel... too much. Like if he wasn't careful, he could spill over with it all. Watching Daniel now fondle his chest, pressing the small mounds together as he assessed himself in the mirror, Max felt ready to burst.
And they fucked. He turns and heads out to the hotel room.
Life is cruel and this dream sucks and he wishes he could remember.
"Hey, Max, hey," Daniel soothes, coming up behind him and blessedly covered in a hotel towel. "I seriously think this can't be real. Just like...what's that DiCaprio film?"
"Huh? Inception?"
"Yeah, that one. Just a really, really good...weird dream."
"Okay, then hit me." Max walks up to Daniel. He's not used to being this much taller. He feels dizzy again with need, wanting nothing more than to pin the older Aussie down on the bed. To hike his soft yet strong legs over his shoulders. Maybe it'd be fine if they did it again, since it maybe is an impossible dream and Daniel's not a boy right now. Not that it mattered normally. Max didn't care, he just wanted to feel him all over again.
"What?" Daniel smiles, eyebrows knit in confusion.
"In dreams, that's how you wake up. Like, a kick to jolt you awake, right?"
"Oh, right. Yeah, we should wake up."
Max leans closer and turns his cheek.
"I'm not smacking you, Max. Here," Daniel takes Max's hand in his. All Max wants was to knit their fingers together, to feel the way his palm is finally bigger than Daniel's. "We'll do it to ourselves, okay?"
Daniel places Max's hand against his own cheek. He watches the gorgeous woman in front of him mirrors him, hand raised gently, fingertips against the curls that fall so, so long down to the middle of Daniel's back. He'd look so good with hair like that even as a boy. Max thinks to tell him this and stops himself.
"On three, yeah?"
"Okay."
Daniel counts down, in that singsong voice that's his but not his pitch. Max tries to commit it to memory as he gives himself a just-too-painful slap.
And nothing changes. The only thing that changes is now Daniel panics.
"Holy fucking shit, Max."
"Daniel-"
"This is real."
"We'll fix this," Max tries as Daniel starts tearing apart the hotel room. Max glances at the clock on the nightstand while Daniel goes on a heated search for something. "We don't have to leave for the flight for two hours."
Christ. He pictures telling their team anything. Daniel can still race, of course, Max thinks. He'll just need a new suit that fits better. And some adjustments to the car's seat fit. And a good PR statement that, yes, something impossible happened overnight but no worries we'll be set for Hockenheim so don't worry about how this happened.
"This!" Daniel says, leaping up to Max and putting a small card in his hand. "This is why! Read it. It came with the wine that hot girl gave me."
Max rolls his eyes and reads it. He narrows his gaze. "A change, temporary, good for two? What's that mean?"
"Beats me, but read it again. Temporary." He sighs, letting his head knock back. Max stares at the line of hickeys down Daniel's thinner neck, too faint. "I do kinda miss my dick."
"How does it feel?" Max asks despite himself. "To be a girl?"
"Good, I guess." Does Daniel press his thighs together reflexively, Max wonders. He feels pent up and horny again. "Like, I don't mind it, but it'll be hell to buy a whole new wardrobe," he attempts to joke through shaky laughs.
"Maybe that note meant 'two' like in two times," Max says, voice quiet.
All he can hear for a moment is the whirl of the hotel aircon. He watches Daniel's feminine frame, his big eyes and wet lips.
"Can you remember any of it?" Daniel asks, voice barely registering above the whirl.
"Not much."
"And it kinda doesn't count, right? Because I'm not really me right now, so its okay? And you don't mind?"
It can count, Max wants to beg. It can. It can be okay after, too. It can be okay all the time.
"I don't mind. You're hot as a girl." The last three words feel too final. Daniel's shoulders fall as he nods.
"Yeah, a stunner, huh? So, well, we'll take her for one last ride."
Finally, Daniel walks up and pushes Max onto the hotel bed. Max's mind reels as Daniel lets the towel drop. Two breasts in Max's face as he feels thighs straddle his waist. His hands fly up to trace eager lines up Daniel's spine and rake gentle tracks back down with his nails. They both shudder.
"Last time, right?" Daniel says between kisses down Max's neck. Max feels his eyes water. It doesn't have to be. But he doesn't say anything. He flips Daniel over on the bed, body tenting over the smaller frame. And this time, he focuses. He wants to make Daniel feel good. He wants to come inside. He wants to etch every moment deep in his mind, so he'll remember every gasp, every touch, every sigh.
#maxiel#I love being bi! and yearning!#also an addendum but fiction is a nice way for me to kinda explore my own gender feelings#I won't get into it all here!! I just had a twelve hour office day!! so dead inside haha#but gender is of course far more nuanced than this silly fic dives into#idk its been on my mind as I mill about the office#the blorbo scenarios are overly simplistic thirst fodder#at least my fics here are!!#far from capturing all the complexities of the irl gender identity experience#especially since I feel pretty fluid about my own gender very 😵💫 and if I had it my way I'd just wake up tomorrow a cis guy but alas!#but idk I just wanted to note since trans issues are so important to me#and since I'm kinda new here in f1blr I wanted to be sure to say it!!#and for thirsting I am just down horrendous for Max and Daniel and fem!Max and fem!Daniel !!!#in my mind they are smooching hard and getting nasty as any gender and I'm just 😩✨ hehe#anyways!!#thank you for all the likes and kind tags y'all 🥺❤️✨ I appreciate it!!!#my busiest work week of the year is this week and its been a joy to peek in here ❤️🌅#but yeah just popping by before sleep to add this since I worry!! as evident hehe#but its fun to explore things in the world of fanfic and I'm building up to opening up more ❤️ slowly
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Not at all sat here thinking about how in dungeons (especially in the older Zelda games) you often need to be going here there and everywhere to complete each stage. Like, the switch to open the door in Room A might be all the way over in Room X, for example.
So what I'm getting at, is imagine the LU boys (looking specifically at Wars and Wild) going crazy trying to figure out how to open the locked door in one of their rooms, and it suddenly opens for seemingly no reason when in reality one of the other boys shot a switch in a separate part of the dungeon.
Unseen teamwork my beloved
#loz#linked universe#lu#i just think it will be very funny#thats part of why i loved the ds games so much cause like. taking notes on the map my beloved#normally i have what i call my dungeon notebook where i write down everything i think i might need later#but you cant tell me a dungeon with a four way split isnt going to crossover at least a little bit#or if its one of those only one door can be open at a time and each door is in a different section#or like the sky keep in sksw where you literally rearrange the entire dungeon to work for you#i dont think itll be that extreme but point is theres so much potential for hijinks and shenanigans
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note guy.... PLSSSS IMGGGG ONE CHANCE ONEEE CHANCEEEE im turning into those gojo fangirls for your ocs 😻😻⁉️
the best you'll get from him (guys thats his handwriting not mine my handwriting is far better than his!!!! definitely!!!)
#oc#oc art#UR IN MY ASKS SO MUCH#LMAO#i forget to answer...#not a single oc in the office is safe from you#not even the note guy#at least he's more open to it#doesn't shut it down immediately#still funny as hell the guy who doesn't even have a face and only speaks through notes can bring someone in
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notes on past and future link
#specifically for this au. i have slightly different feelings about canon bc i think PL is less of a hardass bc he doesnt Know what happens#calamity unwritten#calamity unwritten comic#loz#botw#hyrule warriors#hyrule warriors age of calamity#time travel au#zelda#link#loz link#digital art#art tag#comics#comic#and sillies#in case you were forgetting how much of a self indulgent au this is im introducing you to my 10 page essay on link's gender journey#Past link has been changed by the circumstances and the burden of knowledge. hes usually sillier around at least zelda but now he feels#like he has to be Extra Closed Off because of how open future link is. there will be more notes in the future i have a lot of thoughts that#i cant always cram into the comic. though its all in there Technically#in the subtext#ignore what time im posting this ill queue it for normal hours. later.
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seven sentence sunday
i just want loki and mobius getting high y'all that's it, so i'm gonna try real hard not to let this one die dfgjhsdfs 😩💚🧡
Mobius tips his head back to rest against the couch and releases a plume of smoke, billowing out of him like a chimney. Loki’s eyes drag over the agent’s neck up to his mouth, but his gaze ventures a little too far up, and their eyes meet. A slight twitch to the corner of Mobius’ mouth is Loki’s only indication that he had been caught in the act. “Okay, well, this is the herb that does that,” is all Mobius says. He takes another slow drag, but keeps his eyes on Loki this time, careful not to pull too hard causing a side burn. Loki remains still, holding Mobius' gaze as the man inhales, holds it for a second, and then exhales slowly. Mobius holds the joint out for Loki to take and chuckles at the god before him, wide-eyed and lips slightly parted.
#lokius#loki laufeyson#mobius m mobius#seven sentence sunday#mine: fic#this was still in my notes dfghjdfd#hopefully there's shotgunning that turns into making out#me saying hopefully as if i'm not the one writing the fucking thing#it was really that gamecube post that pushed me to at least open this one again lmfao#mobius high thoughts dgfhjsgdf#mobius is a certified stoner#no i will not be taking questions#i'm a lot more chill when it comes to loki like#it's convenient for the '''plot''' of this that loki has never done a weed#but loki has done every drug imaginable#for this he's a little lightweight though leave me alone
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I need to fucking CHILL, the final essay is SUBMITTED, it is DONE; I am DONE. Why has the relief not set in yet??
#I just have my CIT foundations final to take but I have till Friday and it's open note and stupid easy anyway#and then I need to submit that final code (which is perfect) and the stupid github link for the other class but I have till sunday for that#that english class was what was killing me I mean#I know it's gonna pass... in fact I'm p sure the final is going to be an A...#my shoulders still won't relax because I feel like I have more to do for that class but I DON'T#and I still have Christmas presents to wrap and Santa duties to tend to and akakjsdfhb I was actually excited for that because at least#it wouldn't be homework#ignore me
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Sketch dump! Since my handwriting isn't the best, I'm gonna transcribe what I've written under the cut :)
[Generation 1 iterators are the stocky initial proof of concept. There's only a handful of them, even fewer are still alive for the events of the game.
Gen 1's have very basic fashion. Long Robes and all that. NSH was the first to really personalize himself with a scarf. He was very proud.]
[Generation 2 are the most... abundant iterator model. Able to mechanically outpace the gen 1's, gen 2's were the start of the ancients' technological renaissance. Since there are so many of them, not all of them really care about staying in touch.
They take a lot of their fashion from the ancients. Some more than others.]
[Generation 3 were going to be the great new step foward technologically. As you can imagine the ancients disappearing gave them a lot of emotional issues.
Gen 3's tend to talk to other iterators the most, though they are... very easy to upset.
They base their fashion on their fellow iterators! They draw inspiration from those they are close to or idolize.
Chasing wind looks up to SOS but doesn't know her personally.]
[The next image is general design notes for myself when drawing iterator bodies, no big lore there.
The last image is how i imagine their suspension arms and umbilical attaches to their backs. How they connect through their clothing? I don't know and I don't feel like trying to figure it out. Also I drew Moon with her dress bc I think it's real cute :)]
#rain world#iterators#rw iterator#i dont feel like tagging every one of them. but just know! it's all the local group + sliver of straw#i get a lot of inspiration from daszombes and his iterator logs series!#i think it's real neat#but i also needed a way to draw them somewhat consistently - body wise at least? im never gonna draw their clothes the same way twice lmao#anyway enjoy! i might open up iterator requests soon so look out for that#jar art#jar notes
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WIP
It’s gonna be ten grillion years before I figure out a paneling format that I like for this and finish thumbnailing and drawing this so blarg have it for now ig
#trash rambles#sonic 06#sonic fanart#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#silver the hedgehog#rouge the bat#e 123 omega#amy rose#miles tails prower#knuckles the echidna#princess elise#princess elise the third#princess Elise of soleanna#Solaris#comic#sonic comic#sonic fan comic#wip#delete later#maybe idk#with how long this has been a wip (I think u can tell just from the style) there’s a chance I never finish this#opening comic for#the moth and the flame au#fun fact#this has actually been a wip since at least#*checks notes*#November 2022#I need to finish it so bad it would look so cool :(#trashcreatyre's art
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The hands holding yours are not clean either.
VegasPete + Hands || KinnPorsche (2022)
#Disclaimer: I have very complicated feelings about this show and this couple after everything that's happened over the past month#I actually started these in late december for a friends birthday but the colouring ended up so complicated I didnt get it done#and while I'm still untangling how I feel about the fandom and fan culture and the whole situation (tldr: bad sad parasocially betrayed lol#I was so proud of these for my 3rd ever gifset the absolutely insane amount of time I spent on the colouring and masking against shaky shot#like I genuinely had to keyframe adjust about 8 different overlapping layers frame-by-frame for at least 1 of these lol#and perhaps selfishly: I need to post bc I can't bring myself to work on new sets while this was staring back at me every time i opened PS#And I'm proud of it and it meant a lot and even though the shape of the fandom and friendships have changed its still worth something to me#anyway. enough rambling. on to the actual tags lol#VegasPete#kinnporche the series#vegas theerapanyakul#pete saengtham#asiandramasource#asianlgbtqdramas#lgbtedit#vegas kp#pete kp#idk idk idk I feel like this is my one last little love letter to these silly little characters that meant a lot to me#and to the friends that inspired it too#on a lighter note: the caption is an adapted taemin lyric and the colours were inspired by the criminal MV lmao#so like lol its not that deep :')#aaaand post.#bee.gif#kpts
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Finished the Seashells collection a couple of weeks ago, so I drew my girl who did it all possible.
#neopets#neotag#neoart#aisha#god i HATE RESTOCKING SDFG#I have fun memories now that weeks have passed and this drawing is kinda old and forgot to upload it#but my gods was it a nightmare on the last stretch HSHJS#i actually finished the shenkuu one too before i finished this drawing oOOPS;#anyways aishas are fun to draw just found out#unrelated how did the ogrin drawing got 250+ notes like what????? ?? ??#I wasn't even that proud of it#but to everyone that commented nice things i've read you all and have made 100% of the motivation i've been having lately hahaha#I should draw my neo characters more ofter but;;; hmmm...... I'm still working them outttttt#and i don't want to present cringe on the neotag HASJKDAS#at least not for now LMFAO#vin doods#to whoever is reading my tags by this point i'd love receiving requests in my inbox#I'm always in look for ideas#art trades as well!!#although i know no one here i'm still open for them ahaha#ok too much rambling
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Vessel coming straight for me with that “are you trying to live like everything is a lesson to be learned? Can you ever forgive yourself?”
#I’ve listened to DYWTYLM at least four times now#those opening notes itch such a good part of my brain#then the lyrics stab me in the heart#the dichotomy is just perfect#sleep token
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