#the only time this trope bothers me is when one guilts the other/is friends for only that reason/sabotages the others's relationships

[genshin-scenarios]

ignite - lyney x reader

Summary: friends to enemies to lovers! ‘My enemy lost their memories and I couldn’t help but lie about our relationship’ trope

You used to work with the twins until you were betrayed by them (Lyney and Lynette had to be loyal to their mission). Things have been tense since, but now that you’ve gotten into an accident and woke up with amnesia… What are they going to do?

Wordcount: 1700+

Content note: mentions of Reader getting badly injured, but not explicitly described! Lyney used to have a budding crush on you before your fallout.

Adopt a Wanderer Fanbook: Digital Store

After the betrayal that sowed your hatred towards them, Lyney had tried to reach out three times. 

Once, on the streets, where you briskly walked away. He sees you hiding a limp. Guilt eats up at him, remembering the way he and Lynette had to abandon the scene once they’d fulfilled their objective. They were still too young to even consider bending the rules of their mission, especially when turning their backs on you wasn’t meant to happen at all. They tried to give you a signal, but you noticed their retreat too late.

Next, when he sent you an invitation to their magic show. You didn’t bother showing up. He still wonders if you kept his letter after all this time.

Finally, when he showed up at your door. Lyney promised his sister this would be his last try. 

It hurts more because he sees your expression and knows their betrayal struck you deeper than you cared to admit. The three of you had gone on many missions before when your organisation collaborated with the Fatui. You were friends, and bonds forged under life-threatening situations weaved deep.

So did Lyney’s attachment once he opened himself up. You stuck out your neck for both him and Lynette many times, and they also get used to returning the favour. 

The three of you could’ve maintained a deadly alliance, if only you were still friends to this day.

Lyney’s apology reaches your ears. You listen, watch his body language, and move to open the door and gesture for him to leave.

“...You remind me a lot of your Father, now.” You’d said, avoiding his gaze. “I wish you and Lynette the best.”

The shadow of other circumstances cling to you, but it’s not his place to ask.

It’s unfortunate that Lyney has a bleeding heart and never let the memory of you go. In the past his feelings hadn’t fully bloomed yet, but certainly there was something budding whenever you fought battles together and had late-night dinners. You were both too busy trying to survive, but you were always his what if; what if you’d stayed close? What if that mission never went awry?

What if your circumstances were different?

So, when you finally run into each other again after two years, Lyney sees you at one of their missions and his heart stops beating. Because the underwater cave is collapsing and you’re not close enough to the exit to escape. And the next thing he knows his body moves to pull you out of the wreckage: 

Not fast enough to get you out unscathed, but fast enough to save your life. You have a head injury but you’re still breathing. He and Lynette bring you back to the House of Hearth to get treated. His sister is the one to suggest bringing you back; Lyney is too distressed and neither of your organisations are very legal. You live the same lives from different parts of shadow.

However, soon after you wake up in the infirmary, the twins realise very quickly that you’re missing memories.

You don’t remember them, nor things about yourself.

It’s a bigger loss than either of them are willing to admit. Lynette glances at her brother—who in a split second goes from blank-faced and shocked into a smiling, kind magician. 

He speaks to you like he would an injured child, but Lynette isn’t sure if this was to soothe you or himself, at this point. 

“You were caught up in an accident, but you’re safe now.” Lyney says, kneeling down next to your bed. You’re still lying on your back, hesitating to move once you feel the bandages around your head. 

“I remember a cave, and rocks falling…” You frown. “What was I doing in that kind of place?”

“Well, you’ve always been quite an adventurer.” Lynette raises her brow silently as Lyney spins a lie. “Me and my sister Lynette were in your travelling party. But since you got injured, we brought you to our home to get treated.”

“...I see.” You mutter, looking around. When you spot Lynette standing a bit behind her brother, you give her an unsure smile. “This is a safe place, right?”

Yes. But your un-amnesiac self might not agree. “Yes.” Lynette answers, before looking at Lyney. “My brother was a mess when you wouldn’t wake up. We’re both glad you’re fine.”

“Lynette!”

“Thank you for looking after me.” You hold back a chuckle. “I’m afraid I can’t remember much, but you’re both clearly very close.”

“You can stay here as long as you need to recover.” Lyney promises, before the twins excuse themselves to get you some food.

-

As the days pass and your memories show no sign of improvement, Lyney’s resolve starts to crumble. It’s been so long since you looked at him or his family with warmth.

Before, it was hidden behind a straight posture as you leaned against the wall, observing the younger children while they played. He’d admired you quietly from the sidelines, thinking it held a certain charm when paired with your combative prowess. 

Now that the shield you put between yourself and the world is gone, and Lyney is getting much too attached every time you look up from a book you’re reading, innocently curious and trusting. ‘What’s up?’ You might ask. And Lyney would make small talk or tell you stories about the house.

But once he runs out of stories, how much longer before your sharp mind catches on? And will Lyney get away with this betrayal of trust again, without meeting your blades?

“This isn’t a magic trick, Lyney. You’re going to get the both of you hurt.”

“That’s only if they recover their memories. And if they do grow enough reasons to hate me, that means I did a great job of nursing them to health.”

“They never hated us, before.” Lynette frowns.

“But they never would’ve treated us so warmly again, either.”

Lyney spends his free time researching you; catching up on the two years of your fallout. What your habits were, and how you’re seen by others—so that he has a better idea of how to prompt the return of your memories. 

Sitting down to tell you stories about yourself has become part of Lyney’s routine. He fabricates some details, but keeps facts intact. And when you ask Lyney how he knows so much about you, he spins a white lie of saying you’re close friends.

“This is you, isn’t it?”

Lyney’s heart drops when he sees an image of himself on the newspaper, but relief washes in once he realises it’s just about his previous show.

Not the scandal about him and Lynette being part of the Fatui.

Laughing sheepishly in an attempt to cover up the racing of his heart, Lyney accepts the paper from your hands and traces his gaze over the headlines. “Looks like our newest trick was quite successful.”

“You never told me how popular you are. I didn’t think I was friends with a celebrity.” You joke. To be honest, your main impression of Lyney has been from around the house—he’s reliable and dotes on his siblings, always willing to perform a trick or two to entertain them. 

Lyney’s heart twinges. “It’s only my job,” he says, but the simple joy he feels from your praise is dangerous. This is you, but you’re incomplete. Without memories. And he should never wish that you’d stay like this, in a state where you’d give him a little smile at the end of a long talk that he’s grown weak to. Or gotten closer to his younger siblings, or even built a music box with Freminet who’s no less than shy; and even if this feels like his what ifs are all coming true, Lyney is crushed by the knowledge that it could collapse at any minute. “I’m just glad if my performances can bring smiles to the crowd.”

It’s not just your lowered guard that’s different, but the fact that Lyney’s never seen you freed from your responsibilities. And within this sphere, he feels a tiny bit of escapism himself.

“Lyney, I know you said we were friends, but…” Your brows furrow. “Was that really all we were?”

Lyney freezes. “What do you mean?”

“I mean… Lynette always looks at us a certain way when we’re talking. And the children tell me we were particularly close.” You take a deep breath. “I guess what I mean to ask is: were we ever… involved?”

Lyney’s face has turned a bright red.

“I— You don’t have to answer if it’s too awkward!” You try to salvage. “It’s a stupid question, forget about it.”

“No no, it’s not stupid at all!” He exclaims, quickly turning towards the first-aid kit he’s put on the table to distract himself. His hands remember how to work, so it’s only his brain that’s scrambled. “I mean, we were definitely… Um.” Lyney, think! “We were close.” He finishes lamely. “But I would be lying if I said I never considered you special to me.”

While Lyney changes your bandages, you press your lips together and study his body language. You can tell that he sometimes omits things in conversation, and while you also know that he’s busy, Lyney’s been staying with you for longer times these days. Having heavier conversations, letting his smiles border on something doting—but you can’t let yourself fall into this lulling dynamic until you have some clarification of what you two are.

Ever since you’ve woken up, you’ve felt like you were in a warm, sunlight-tinted world within the comforts of the House of Hearth. You vaguely know of this place’s past, but something is missing from your memory. And you’re terrified at the idea that once you step outside, you’ll learn that none of this little world was actually real.

“What if I told you we were lovers?”

That snaps you back to reality.

“What?” You echo in surprise. But when Lyney’s lilac gaze meets yours, you’re surprised by how determined they look. Like a soldier taking a stand. 

But only Lyney knows that this decision will make or break things in the future. Despite that, he reaches out for the chance to live through his what if for just a little longer. 

When he reaches out to entwine your fingers, you don’t pull away. He knows deep down that he’d still try to help you regain your memories, even if that means things might end in flames.

[blank468]

Describe Bakugo’s development in short words

If you were to ask me how would I describe Bakugo’s development in short words, it would come across as being boring and predictable. Let’s start with the fact that despite being a secondary character, Bakugo has no real purpose/contribution in the main story line. His involvement with Deku and OFA doesn’t amount to anything other than mindless yelling, guilt tripping, and just him treating it as a competition to try and surpass Deku when he unlocks his other quirks. The only reason he’s involved in a lot of what’s going on is because of his popularity. He started gaining popularity when he won the Sports festival and because everyone like the stereotypical angry rival trope. He can be replaced by literally any other character and nothing would change.

It’s basically a pattern whenever Bakugo is involved with something.

- Bakugo will treat others beneath him and continue to call the extras.

- Whatever is going in the story if it’s a fight between the villains or something school related, he’ll treat it as a competition.

- He’ll either verbally attack Deku and everyone around them or get physical to get what he wants.

- Deku won’t see this as an issue and continue to gush over Bakugo about how he’s a good friend and the idea of him being the symbol of victory

-Anyone that calls out his horrible behavior will do a complete 180 and talk about how whatever he said either makes sense or to give some baseless excuse about how he changed

- Aizawa, All Might and or anyone in UA will make some claim about how his some kind of an inspiration for 1A and Bakugo is trying harder than everyone else(completely ignoring all of 1A’s accomplishments and improvements throughout their first year)

- After winning or coming out on top whatever Bakugo will take his win for granted and will act like it doesn’t mean anything while acting aggressive when someone compliments him

- What ever punishment or consequences he gets(not matter how fatal is) will be minor and the story will find to way to have him come out at top without any struggle

- The story will have characters feel bad, guilty for Bakugo for something so minuscule and or try to punish them in a similar manner like Bakugo (A recent example of the story punishing characters because of Bakugo’s actions is in the Card OVA. I didn’t bother watching it because I knew it was just a product plug for training cards but from what I viewed from other people’s discussions, the match between Deku and Bakugo ends with a tie. Apparently Bakugo threw another hissy fit and not only destroyed the card game but blew up the dorm with everyone inside. Instead of punishing Bakugo for destroying public property and potentially injuring his classmates, Aizawa decides to punish all of Class 1A and ban them from playing any other games in the dorm.)

I know everyone has their own interpretation on how they feel about Bakugo and that’s perfectly fine. I don’t have problem if you like him, but Bakugo is written as if everything he did or stood for never mattered. Izuku, Class 1A , UA and by extension Horikoshi, wants the audience to believe that all the positive aspects about his character somehow outweigh the negatives and we’re supposed to accept that Bakugo has fully grown while at the same time instantly forgiving him for being a spiteful and petty bully. No matter what happens to him, he’ll still come out on top as if what he went through wasn’t consequential or lethal. He’s constantly giving wins and random asspulls to favor him despite either doing the bare minimum of his supposed development or not doing anything at all. Bakugo in the eyes of others will always be seen as the true MVP and is the one that always has to win. He’s nothing but a pet under the care of his creator who will go out of his way to make every other character look bad and pathetic than they already are; including the main protagonist.

[dontbotherwiththepronunciation]

I'm following the shipping anthropology like it's my paid job ofc but was there anything interesting about gen preferences ? Iirc exacty if there was a question about it/what it was like but I'm curious if anyone shared

Sorry for the last response! I went over the answers many times already and one of my regrets is not digging deeper into general non-romantic dynamic preferences so I am sorry I will have to disappoint you when it comes to it since I was too short-sighted. Here are the stats for Greyjoy dynamics, some comments on Robb and Theon as friends and a few general comments on possible friendships. Character studies type of gen fanwork sadly wasn't mentioned.

Extremely surprised by Theon & Euron being more interesting than Theon & Balon to the common fandom.

Many throbb people and also less Theon-centric people who answered the survey also spoke of Theon and Robb as friends or friends to lovers which I found interesting because this wasn't the case with other ships that are are based on somewhat positive interactions/emotions, like show! theonsa or theyne (who I don't consider his friends either).

i picked theon/robb mostly because that's been his healthiest relationship during his life but i generally don't engage with shipping content besides occasionally seeing fan art. i enjoy the dynamic of childhood friends turned lovers as well as like maybe them bonding over their mistakes in the afterlife. i like to think robb would forgive theon eventually, he doesn't seem the type to give up on his loved ones. -

Very close tie between Theonsa and Throbb for me. I enjoy a dark twist on the childhood friends trope, I like the potential for exploring Theons trauma from being a hostage vs his genuine love for Robb and Sansa

I don't feel strongly about it, I don't think Theon and Robb would ever say or do anything explicitly romantic/sexual "in canon", but I get that it can be fun to explore it. I like to explore how their friendship developed, how they grew so close, and the crushing guilt, regret and trauma of the betrayal

I live for TheonxRobb fics but mostly the ones about the war time, the angst about betraying Robb or his family, reactions to the red wedding, angsty flashbacks to their childhood and so on. it's the childhood friends to lovers to enemies to tragedy that does it for me. but when I'm in mood I can get super into fluffy fics of the two, since Robb isnt really a pov character there's much more leeway for the writer, I can read I fic about them and not be bothered if Robb is ooc (hard to be out of character when you are not much of a character lol) because I'm not familiar with inner thoughts and all that, theres more freedom for imagination.

I find Theon/Robb interesting because the themes of friendship/brotherhood/betrayal are really interesting to me. Theon's guilt, mania, depression and his complex relationship to the Starks are best shown through the Throbb (ew name lol) dynamic. I also think it's hilarious. Mordern AU throbb is insane..

I wish he was in AGOT a little more! Like I don't think we get a full conversation between Theon and Robb besides when Robb yells at Theon, which sucks because they are basically best friends.

I feel like Robb was Theon's only friend in Winterfell for a long time. Like he was the only person the idiot could sorta trust

Catra from she ra! Redemption and identity and sexy bad boy stuff again. Childhood friends to lovers. Enemy/rival of the childhood friend/lover. Most of the characters in Yellowjackets. (Jackie is Robb).

I just ignore things that bug me. I don't like calling him reek. I don't think he was "right to betray the Starks" or that he didn't betray them. I think he did betray them despite being a ward, or at the very least he betrayed robb who was his friend. Theon says as much, what he did was wrong and it supposed to be wrong.

Others

let him have other friends in modern aus, the whole botley family is right here.

Back to the iron islands support group thing we came up with. I would really love it if Wex, Falia, Jeyne & Theon would become friends (and maybe it develops into something else with one of them, maybe it doesn't). Not found family, he has a family, but friends! Good friends who treat him right and don't look down on him. He had friends in Winterfell and he had friends in the Iron Islands! He is not unloveable or unloved but life has made it very difficult for him to keep those friendships or for those friendships to even be healthy and these three people have gone through similar situations in their life and could find some happiness and carelessness in each others company.

I need to know who his dead or grown into strangers friends were. Was Botley one of them? Was that the reason he looked down on him and Qarl later on? Was Baelor one of them? grrm why add that extremely relatable line and not expand on it?!? You know me, I know you. Killing ourselves over this.

[ssaalexblake]

i literally just walked out of the room and didn’t bother watching any of the shaw parts bc they clearly telegraphed he was a bag of dicks with the annika thing and the benefit of Not Really Watching is the lack of guilt at walking out whenever i want. That there was a name on the main cast list i didn’t know troubles me deeply because it had to have been him :((((((((((((((((((((((( 

other than that, I was entertained. Eye rolled epically a few times, but was expecting more of that tbh and i expect the theme will continue on into later episodes when more of them show up. 

however the cgi on the academy thing was Amazing and objectively very cool as an idea if, you know, horrifying. 

Commander Seven is hot, but that goes without speaking. 

seven asking permission to talk freely, getting it and loudly exclaiming she’ll shove picard out of an airlock if he doesn’t tell her what’s going on, only for will to call her on talking to an admiral like that and her to say ‘no, i talk to my Friends!!! like that’ like telling ur friends ur gonna space them is perfectly on the level. 

i love her

Raffi my love :((((((((((( i gave them the benefit of the doubt and assumed it was a ruse and was correct, but damn remember when starfleet was all ‘we have a councillor as a member of the senior staff’ bc they need that energy Back, she’s not doing great and it’s fucked up. 

rude of beverly to to misplace a kid and then go get another one immediately in the bargain bin. Would love to know how he got a different accent to her, but i’m also thinking about romulus that doesn’t have spring cleaning but Does have an Ireland, so yeah

side note; i would die for Laris 

“shut up Will” had me cackling, and this show is lucky that one of my fave tropes is older people doing actiony things and being badass about it But then complaining about their poor knees. 

i’m still furious at the absolute blind irony of calling this The Next Generation like they didn’t just actively fuck the next gen for the older one, but at least this is just Annoying me and isn’t objectively offensive like Some Shows I Could Name.

tho if he’s the kid of Anybody we know i quit. I might cave to peer pressure and not quit. but to be clear, if that happens i quit in spirit if nothing else. He can be the kid of that ghost bev was friends with. cough. 

[iamagodjkimcatholicicantsaythat]

My favorite relationship trope (and I mean irl just as much as fictionally) will forever be friends to lovers (not that I want to marry my friends XD ). I just think there is something beautiful about the building of friendship along side the blossoming of romantic feelings. 

There should be more than romantic love in a marriage...without friendship...I just don’t think a relationship is as likely to last. When people start with friendship, they create a bond of trust. Sure, maybe that takes time, but the pay off for when it finally becomes romantic * chef’s kiss *

Further, I have liked a few men and it has usually started as friendship. Sure, nothing came from them. But hey, at least I have some good friends that came out of it! Like it’s a win either way.

[jungkook97]

why didn’t you wait for me? ;; jjk

pairing + characters: jungkook x female reader, taehyung and hobi word count: 10k ⭐️  rating: 17+ (for cursing mostly)

genre/warnings: childhood best friends turned strangers to enemies (!) to lovers, non idol!au, ANGST ANGST ANGST, the classic “jungkook was a nerd turned hot fuckboy” trope, some fighting and very loud confessions and lots of guilt and misunderstandings like oh my god poor jungkook :(

summary: y/n attends a wedding in hawaii with her old high school buddy taehyung for a much needed reunion. little did she realize that the last person she wanted to see would end up attending.

notes: read @taegularities’ stars behind waves and i felt very inspired! there’s no smut in this bc i suck at writing it so read that instead if you want them to fawk. 😗

© jungkook97 2022. do not repost or modify. please ask for permission to translate.

All you can do is glare at your best friend at this point. 

“Damn, it’s been a minute huh, Taehyung?” he greeted your best friend with a neck-breaking embrace. You gritted your teeth together with your arms crossed tightly, unwilling to stand up to say hello to one of the unexpected plus ones to this dinner date. 

You should’ve known, really. After all, one of your guys’ high school friends was getting married this weekend on the picturesque but tourist trap of an island Oahu and it was only a matter of time that your least favorite person would end up being here too. 

At least, Jeon Jungkook wasn’t your least favorite person forever. He was, at one point, something to you. 

Not anymore.

Taehyung licked his lips nervously as he slowly let go of one of his former water polo mates, laughing nervously while you cleared your throat loudly and obnoxiously as possible. 

You stood up slowly, completely ignoring Jungkook to give Hoseok, the other plus one, a big bear hug. You could feel his dark eyes boring into your back, but you didn’t care. You almost wanted him to be bothered. After all, he was the asshole, not you.

“Ah, it’s been a year or two for us, huh?” Hoseok beamed his infectious smile at you. He had a baby blue bucket hat on with a white tee, cargo shorts, and of course, his trusted mini shoulder bag adorned with all kinds of bright colors and toys. It fit the Hawaiian vibe, which is unsurprising due to his fashionista status.

Jung Hoseok, the popular street dancer senior who took you to prom when nobody wanted to go with you, was elated to see you, as you had been catching up with him for years after graduation. In fact, you still kept up with everybody in that little crew that Taehyung was a part of, seeing them from time to time in fun little dinners and weekend getaways. It was always a joy to see Bangtan in pairs and trios, but even then, you didn’t see a certain someone in these hangouts. Actually, Jungkook was the only one you haven’t seen since your senior year of undergrad and for a good reason.

“It has,” you grinned widely, rubbing his shoulders as he gripped you tightly, patting you on the back. “It’s so nice to see you as always,” you emphasized the last word, making sure Jungkook heard you loud and clear. Unsurprisingly, he did, prompting him to smack his lips and hands together.

“Why don’t we sit down and catch up, yeah?” he suggested, trying to meet eyes with you as you pulled away from Hoseok and turned toward his direction. 

“Yeah,” you said nonchalantly, your right hand reaching for the chair to sit right down, unwilling to give what the man wanted. You could sense Jungkook stiffening up for a millisecond before brushing it off, sitting right in front of you because of course he would. Three years of radio silence or even a small cameo in your life and now he wanted to be front and center so you can notice him.

You sat directly next to Taehyung, who heaved a sigh at the sight of you two still not speaking to one another. Grabbing the cooled apothecary glass bottle from the table, he began pouring the sparkling water amongst the group evenly.

“Look, I know you guys aren’t really on the best of terms per se—” 

“‘Best of terms’ is a very mild way of saying it,” you interrupted, taking your filled glass immediately to your lips, finally meeting eyes with him. 

There he was, sitting there staring at you back. He mostly grew out of his baby features from the last time you saw him, developing an incredibly sharp jawline and his nose no longer a prominent feature of his face. He gathered a few piercings since you last saw each other, and his black tee draped over his broad shoulders just enough to make him look much larger than before. A singular silver dog tag necklace dangled from his neck as he pulled his right arm up to rub his neck, revealing an entire tattoo sleeve that probably took weeks to complete.

Frankly, the man looked like he quite literally leaned into his fuckboy image much to your dismay. You still remembered that big doe-eyed little kid from years ago who couldn’t say a single word to pretty women without stumbling his words and would play Overwatch for hours, wearing the oversized white tee, blue jeans and Timberlands combo for months on end. He was a big dork from what you remember growing up, and the full 180 of an image was giving you whiplash and major disappointment. 

It only took one semester in undergrad and a dare from Jimin for him to join a fraternity when he grew up fast, dressed fashionably and started to gain a body count quickly. To this day, you still hated Jimin for that, despite him being your favorite party friend all during your college years and into young adulthood. It wasn’t that you wanted Jungkook to stay an innocent baby forever, but shit, did you really have to completely lose him to the frat boy club? It was like losing a parent. 

It wasn’t entirely Jimin’s fault though. After all, he wasn’t the one who abandoned you at your lowest point in your life.

Was it petty for you to be angry at him for this long? Perhaps. However, Jungkook didn’t help his case. It wasn’t just that he wasn’t there one time for you, he completely disappeared from your life with no explanation. Rather than spending late nights talking to Jungkook about your struggles of finding a job post graduation or healing from your four-year whirlwind of a committed relationship turned engagement turned absolute shit, you found solace in Taehyung instead. 

Rather, he was too busy with his new lifestyle, going to endless raves and getting shit-faced drunk with absolute strangers every spring break even after graduation. He became a much different person, an empty shell of who he was before. It irked you awfully knowing that, as you could never comprehend why anybody having that bright of a future just waste their time getting blasted and forgetting the entire world around them. It was selfish and immature, something you never thought would end up describing Jungkook in his early twenties. 

The only times you got updates on Jungkook was through the Bangtan men during your trips with them as they spoke about him in amusing anecdotes. You found out about his first big boy job, his first serious partner and eventual breakup, and a bunch of other milestones that you weren’t a part of.

Like it really mattered to you. He wasn’t there for your milestones either. Not that you had many besides graduation and a retracted marriage proposal. 

And so the four of you ate with not much fanfare or drama, exchanging funny stories with each other that had happened in the past year. You two didn’t say many words to one another, only acknowledging each other’s presence by a hum and a nod, directing your guys’ attention to Taehyung and Hoseok. You could still feel Jungkook’s eyes gazing at you from time to time to check your reactions to certain things. He was testing the waters, wary of when to speak, say something to you or even address anything for that matter.

As everyone departed from the cafe, Jungkook pulled his black raven hair back to put on his Louis Vuitton shades, extruding an effortless coolness to him. You rolled your eyes at it, following him. In a predictable chain of events, he slowed down his walking pace to match yours, walking side to side as Hoseok and Taehyung were a full ten steps ahead of you two. 

After a while, he finally broke the silence.

“You seem better these days.”

You scoffed. 

“Yeah, I had to figure that out without you, remember?”

Jungkook groaned, putting his hands on his hips as you two finally reached the grandiose hotel lobby.

“Are you really going to hold that over me forever? It’s been three years.”

“It’s not just three regular years, Kook,” you leaned in to push the elevator button. “My ex-fianceé cheated on me, got kicked out from my own place and lost a shit ton of friends, you being one of them.” 

You crossed your arms once more, looking up towards your former childhood best friend. He had pulled his sunglasses off and folded them on his collar, his expression dark and reminiscing on those lost three years. He stepped into the elevator with you after. It was empty with only the two of you in it. It was a long ride up as Taehyung booked the second biggest suite for the week. 

“I was busy,” he said simply. Those three simple words were incredibly loaded, harboring a kind of energy you couldn’t quite place. Anger? Resentment? Bitterness? You couldn’t make it make sense for you. 

You laughed mockingly. Busy? Wasting your life away is being busy?

“Yeah, weren’t we all? You weren’t the only one juggling everything, you know. Like…” Should you say it? “Like, you weren’t there. You were too busy screwing the whole campus and the entire Caribbean to care.”

You were getting heated, breathing more shallow with every word you spoke. Jungkook’s tongue poked against his cheek in annoyance as he leaned against the railing of the elevator. His wary but friendly demeanor was gone, replaced with the asshole you last remembered. 

“I wasn’t fucking everyone,” he defended himself. “I was networking.”

“Is that what you fuckboys call it nowadays?” 

“Stop before you start saying shit you’re going to regret,” Jungkook threatened. 

With the distant humming of the island elevator music, you continued. You didn’t care. You had to say your piece.

“You really think you’re hot shit,” you cursed with a resentful smile on your face. The three years were cycling in your mind at rapid speed, compounded by your strong emotions about the matter. “You joined one fraternity over a dare, wore some hypebeast clothes, fucked a lot of bitches and somehow, that got you out here thinking you’re the fucking man. Well newsflash: you’re not. You’re not shit, Jungkook. You don’t even give a shit about your own friends going through shit.”

He closed his eyes, grinding his teeth.

“Stop. Now,” he growled.

You stood right in front of him, eyes leveled with his closed ones. His eyes were shaking inside from all the anger. Good, you thought. You wanted him to feel as angry as you have been for the past few years. 

“What would you be if Jimin didn’t dare you that night? Where the fuck would you be now, Kook?”

He laughed bitterly, opening his eyes slowly to see yours. You could see the venom coming out of them and he was absolutely sick of you. 

“You know what it sounds like?”

You pursed your lips. 

“What?”

“It sounds like you’re jealous that I was fucking everybody but you.”

Ding.

“Fuck you, Jungkook.”

You left the elevator immediately, dizzy from the heated conversation. You couldn’t believe the words that came out of the fucker’s mouth. It was expected though, after all he has become a version of those e-boys you two used to make fun of. He made a promise he would never be like that no matter how much he glowed up.

What a bunch of shit that was.

“Can we leave the two of you alone for 3 seconds without you guys looking like you want to kill each other?” Taehyung exasperatedly exclaimed as the both of you arrived at the suite. It was up to Taehyung’s taste with dark oak wood finishes all throughout the unit, complete with a full kitchen and a spacious living room fit for at least ten people comfortably. 

With the wind blowing through the lightly sheer white curtains, you walked past your best friend in contempt to go towards the balcony for some fresh air.

All you wanted was some time off. It was a rough time at your job as you were struggling to make the stupid metrics the company was giving you, and were desperately anticipating this Hawaii trip for weeks. Just as you thought the vacation was going to be perfect, the person you grew to resent so deeply would appear in your life again. It was as if you couldn’t catch a break and the endless cycle of bullshit just continued on like some sick joke. 

As you look at the beautiful sunset unfolding in front of you being enveloped in all shades of purple, orange and pink, you close your eyes with some tears on the creases of them. You exhaled deeply to relieve the pent up energy, your sore and tense muscles relaxing. You deserved this more than anybody else on this trip and you knew it in your heart. No one was going to prevent you from having a good time, not even Jeon Jungkook and his stupid fuckboy face.

“It sounds like you’re jealous that I was fucking everybody but you.”

Those words continued to echo in your mind for the next few days as the four of you made a mark through the whole island, eating and partying your way through. There was joy and laughter for the most part, but there was still a lot of stonewalling and ignoring from both parties, only acknowledging each other when it was necessary. You half expected Jungkook to apologize for his extremely incorrect assessment, but he didn’t bring it up to you or anybody for that matter. It was as if it never happened. Typical of a fuckboy. 

You were successfully pretending Jungkook didn’t exist for the most part, spending more time with the other two and leaving him in the dust. Jungkook did the same, occasionally disappearing for thirty minutes on your guys’ night outs. All of you assumed he was probably working his tongue, fingers and his dick in someone, local or visiting. You caught a couple of glimpses of him sleazily dancing with someone else or buying someone a drink, only hastily looking away and chugging yet another mai tai to forget about it. 

You could sworn though, Jungkook seemed to enjoy it, almost digging his words in your skull through his actions with a glance he gave whenever you caught so much as him flirting with someone you knew he would be railing minutes after. It was a mild annoyance to say the least. If there was one thing you two had in common, it was being extremely petty. 

It wasn’t that you thought Jungkook was unfuckable. He wasn’t ugly by any means; he was that kid in your guys’ friend group who was more of a late bloomer. You knew he was going to grow into his features eventually, growing taller and wider as he worked out regularly. And when he began to give a fuck about his body and looks, he was at his most dangerous at that point, only for you to already be deeply involved in your ex-fianceé at the time. Perhaps it was impeccable timing that you were taken because God only knows what would’ve happened if you two were still close and very much single. 

Was there tension between the both of you? Of course. Neither of you wanted to admit it, especially after he joined the college’s water polo team after you joked that he could never rebrand himself as a jock. After all, he was still playing MapleStory and watching Marvel movies like it’s his religion. How can he possibly scrub all of that away so easily?

It ended up working for him of course, as it does with everything Jungkook does. He was the golden maknae, just capable of anything he set his mind to. It was all the more frustrating that he took his brains and talent into the gutter by his senior year of undergrad, partying his life away with people who didn’t end up caring for him. It was only recently when he returned back to Bangtan, also trying to make up for lost time. 

The boys forgave him with open arms of course. You, on the other hand, couldn’t be on the same page. 

A change of scenery had to happen and soon enough, Hoseok suggested a light hike. Since the hotel was by the shore, you guys figured to go on a little walk for some scenic photos for Instagram and to bask in nature. 

Of course, it was ill-timed as you were extremely hungover and dehydrated from the night before, body aching from God knows what. It was high noon when it happened when you started to slow down compared to the others’ brisk walks down the perfectly easy paved trail, feeling unbearably hot. You knew it was 100% you when it wasn’t that bad earlier as the humidity caught up to you. Beads formed into light drips of sweat on your face as you found yourself heaving, feeling light. It wasn’t looking too good, your vision was blurry.

“Hey.”

You felt a tight grip around your waist as you looked up dazed looking at a broad shouldered silhouette of a man. You knew who it was immediately, pushing him away with little strength you had left.

“No, leave me the fuck alone, Kook,” you urged, your legs starting to feel like pudding. You would rather pass out at this point than have Jungkook help you in any capacity, but your body was giving out, leaning against his built frame.

“You’re going to pass out,” he sighed, grabbing onto you tighter, his biceps rock solid against your waist, pushing you toward a nearby bench to sit down. “Did you not bring any water?”

“Hoseok said it wasn’t a super long trail,” you said meekly as Jungkook pulled a portable fan out and held it by your face. The cool air comforted you almost immediately as he pushed the fan into your hand before pulling out his stainless steel tumbler and uncapping it, offering you a swig of his water. “Ew no, I don’t know where that’s been.”

Jungkook sighed deeply, pushing the top of the tumbler toward your lips.

“Stop being stubborn and drink.”

You obliged, taking three full gulps. He cupped his hand underneath your chin to catch the excess water while steadying the flow of iced water down your mouth with his other hand. When you were done, he patted the excess water he caught on your forehead to cool you down more before patting and massaging your back to help you breathe. 

It was nice. You two gazed into each other’s eyes once again and you could see the worry etched in his furrowed eyebrows, his lips sulking. You couldn’t help but to feel a pit in your stomach at his genuineness, something you haven’t really seen in a while coming from him. It was as if the old Jungkook was still lingering in there somewhere, still caring. His touch was hesitant and awkward, as if he wasn’t sure how to touch you. He didn’t want to come off too strong or have you miscode his actions. It was the most intimate you two had ever been in a while, and it wasn’t laced with any sexual intentions, a stark contrast to what you were seeing and hearing him to do other women in the past few years.

“Better?”

His tongue was dancing along with his lip ring when you patted his back to indicate you felt better. He nodded, pulling you up with one arm slowly, not letting go. 

“Let me carry you back,” he suggested, turning his back against you and bending back, his arms extended behind his back and beckoning for you to hop on. Without much arguing, you climbed on, your arms tightly wrapped around his neck as he grabbed your thighs tightly, pushing you up and straightening himself out. You were too tired to argue at this point, and desperately just wanted to go home. 

With your head against the top of his shoulder blades, he took you home without much conversation, humming quietly to himself as onlookers passed by and gushed at his charitable deed. You cringed a bit at the glimpses of other women enamored by him, almost regretting the choice you just made. It was inescapable how much women just love Jungkook, and how easy they just fall for his looks and charisma. If only they saw his pimpled face at seventeen, yelling at a computer screen when his team lost on Overwatch—

Stop it. Jungkook grew up. Why can’t you just admit that to yourself? He wasn’t that kid anymore, he had grown into a very attractive twenty something. 

I just can’t. 

Maybe I was jealous.

It didn’t take long before you dozed off on his back, only realizing it when you finally woke up in your bed, sheets spread out underneath you. With the fan whirring softly in the background, you groaned and stretched out your whole back, cracking every inch of the way. With your eyes focusing, you slowly got up to sit, realizing that there was someone else in the room.

There Jungkook was, manspreading on the lone eggshell colored barrel chair feet away from you underneath a blanket. He had put some of your clothes on the side for him to sit down, apparently to monitor your wellbeing, but ended up dozing off into a light nap. Your heart skipped a beat at the sight of him, but you pushed that down so deep somewhere else, pushing yourself off the bed to see anybody else was still around, just anyone. It didn’t take long for you to realize the two of you alone, and after checking your phone, Taehyung and Hoseok were already off to dinner somewhere else without extending the invite to either of you.

It felt like a setup. Perhaps they devised this plan to leave you two alone for you to make up, but this also opened some avenues you didn’t want to explore, especially knowing the track record of Jungkook being alone with any woman. It wasn’t that you didn’t feel safe around him, but if there was anything that was consistent in your life right now, it was the fact that anything could very much happen.

“You feel better?” 

Jungkook’s voice echoed in the empty space that was the living room. You turned around, sheepishly grabbing your own arm to comfort yourself from the sheer panic that you were spending an awful amount of time alone with him. 

“Yeah. Just hungry though.”

His slippers skidded through the floor as he entered the room, wearing yet another dark oversized tee and matching shorts. You could feel your heart pounding in your throat as you two met each other’s gazes. His was a lot softer compared to when you two last spoke, his walls had disintegrated and his presence felt very familiar to you once again, like specks of old Jungkook was peeking through. 

The caring, soft-spoken and attentive side of him was ringing in your head for the past ten minutes, your brain trying to make sense of it all. This whole time you thought that side of him was long gone and had been replaced with someone else completely but alas, he was right in front of you, just older. 

You missed him. You missed that Jungkook deeply.

Before you could say something stupid, he opened his mouth. 

“You wanna eat at that buffet downstairs?”

You nodded.

“Yeah, why not?”

You were unraveling. It was definitely a result of the combination of the quiet sexual tension between the two of you all week and the whiplash of the Jungkook you once knew making a reappearance that you feeling a certain type of way. You found your eyes lingering too long at his back while waiting in line for some steak at the meat station. He seemed rather oblivious by you checking him out fully, fully fixated on the spread of meat before him. 

You could still feel his back against your cheeks and how formidable his neck felt with your arms slung around his neck. The absolute comfort you felt, the security of knowing he was very capable of taking you home safe and sound. It didn’t fully hit you at the time, but you realized how much you missed him, the real him. 

After stealing a few more glances from across the table, you finally saw a moment to finally speak your piece after the events from earlier today. 

“Um, hope this doesn’t sound weird in any way, but I just want to thank you for taking me home earlier. That was very sweet of you.”

Jungkook looked up from his mountainous plate food, cheeks filled with meat. He stopped in mid chew, his big brown doe eyes looking back at you in surprise. He was absolutely adorable.

“Mmm, of course,” he mumbled his words before drowning the contents down with some wine. Clearing his throat, he looked down and continued picking at his food with a fork. “I couldn’t leave you there, Taehyung would quite literally kill me.”

You smiled, first time in his presence in a while.

“Yeah, he really would.” 

His lips formed into a small soft grin as well, stabbing a cherry tomato right in the middle before gobbling it up. 

The two of you kept eating, grabbing more plates of food. Eventually, conversation soon sparked up, and you found yourself finally speaking to him normally just like old times. It felt as if time didn’t pass at all and the negative feelings surrounding the both of you existed in a different alternative universe. It wasn’t that you actively forgot, but you realized that being petty wasn’t going to get anywhere at this point. It was clear you two had moved on and no longer wanted to keep it up anymore.

After your third drink and a few more laughs, it grew a bit quiet. As Jungkook finished the remaining pieces of his dessert, he put his small spoon down as it clinked against the ceramic bowl. Pensive, his mind was thinking about something for a while based on your observation, and you knew it was on the tip of his tongue. 

He sat up, straightening his back before saying his piece as well.

“I know we haven’t been kind to each other this whole trip and I just wanna say…I’m really sorry for what I said earlier. I was being incredibly immature, and I regretted saying that.”

Your tongue swirled inside your mouth at his sudden apology as your fork clashed against your own plate after it got loose from your hand. This whole time you felt that Jungkook was being firm in his words and was convincing you that he was right, but in actuality he was remorseful the whole time. 

If he wasn’t enjoying rubbing his sexual activeness in front of you, then what was actually happening then?

You gulped at the thought, replaying all of those moments in your mind. Surely, everyone assumed Jungkook’s disappearances were hookups for him and you assumed this based on the couple of times you caught him flirting with someone. Weirdly enough, he wasn’t fully attentive towards the girl in question in both instances, always catching you watching him as he stared at you back, seemingly…melancholic. Like he wanted to be somewhere else. With someone else. 

Was that someone else you? 

You shook away those thoughts. There was no way he was pining for you this entire time. If he did, he would’ve said something when you were engaged for two years to who you thought was the love of your life. You two were just childhood close friends and nothing more. 

“It’s okay, Kook,” you finally answered after some time, not realizing you were this deep in thought. “I’m sorry for saying all of that too. Like yeah I was hurt, but I’m not gonna be mad at you for spreading your wings, you know?” 

The past was the past. It was clear to you in the past few hours that Jungkook may look different and have a complete 180 of a lifestyle now, there were still parts of Jungkook you remembered and cherished within him (although it took a while for that guy to come out). Perhaps he was lost during those three years like you were, trying to understand and grasp the world as much as possible with his young adult hands. Now that his life was less chaotic, he can regain some of that old him back, just like you have been healing from your own traumas the past three years through this trip.

“Yeah…” was all Jungkook could say, leaning back against the cooled leather booth with his arm sprawled across it. He was thinking about something once again, eyes dark. You could feel it hovering over you, and perhaps that was what Jungkook wanted to do as well. 

Or at least, you were hoping that he felt that way. 

After stacking the plates up, you two went back to the suite, making light conversation here and there. The gap between the two of you was decreasing as you touched shoulders with him, not being bothered about it one bit. 

“See, I told you they’d make up,” Hoseok quipped to Taehyung with a big fat grin on his face, amused as you came into the living room with Jungkook trailing behind.

You laughed a bit, cheeks flushing a light pink. 

“Spoiler alert: we are capable of forgiving.” 

“It took a while,” Jungkook piped up, plopping against the big sectional next to you. He looked small against it and a part of you ached to sit next to him as his eyes beckoned you to do so. “Anyway, what are we doing right now?”

“Drinking,” Taehyung said simply, giving Jungkook a glass immediately. “We are exposing ourselves tonight.”

You froze. You participated in this game for quite some time now everytime you were with the Bangtan boys and have witnessed and told all kinds of wild confessions and stories. Normally you would be more than happy to join, but in lieu of your recent feelings blooming rapidly for your childhood best friend, you would rather not partake in such activity.

“Uh…” you trailed off, mind scrambling to come up with an excuse. Taehyung raised his eyebrow in enjoyment, taking a sip of wine before crossing his legs graciously like a prince of sorts. 

“You’re not joining us?” he hummed, chuckling to himself. He knew you better than everyone else: if you weren’t participating, it’s because you were hiding something. 

“No, I’m tired. You know, from heat exhaustion and whatnot,” you lied.

Hoseok snickered, leaning on Taehyung to whisper something to him. You squinted your eyes. 

This was deliberate. Very deliberate. They knew something. 

After a while, they separated, both nodding to each other. Hoseok waved you away, leaning against the chair. 

“Fine, have a good sleep.”

It wasn’t a good sleep. In fact, you spent the last two hours just staring at the ceiling, brain just going through all kinds of emotions at a million miles per hour. It felt nonstop and endless as you plopped yourself up, sighing into the dark abyss. Your vacation was ending and you weren’t looking forward to going back to reality. 

It didn’t help that it was humid and hot at 2AM, and you were extremely dehydrated once more. Sliding on some slippers, you made your trek toward the kitchen. 

As expected, the boys were still in the living room conversing. There were at least 3 empty wine bottles now, with the fourth one being poured by Jungkook himself. You sauntered into the kitchen, your hands reaching for a cup on the top cabinet before slinking toward the cooled stainless steel fridge. As the water light tinged a light blue while water was being dispersed, your ears caught a bit of the topic in question. 

“Yah, I didn’t realize that my love life is that sad,” Taehyung laughed acridly. “Like, am I really incapable of keeping someone interested?”

You snorted to yourself, knowing the answer. Taehyung was the worst at commitment out of all of them. 

“I can’t speak for you buddy,” Hoseok smacked his lips together. “You kind of messed up with Jennie. Now she’s back with that guy now, huh?”

“Don’t remind me of it please.” 

All three of them laughed heartily. 

You began downing the water, turning around toward them. Jungkook’s body was facing you, although you were sure he couldn’t see you from the very faint glow of the countertops. He was incredibly drunk and stretched out on the sectional, scrolling through his phone as Taehyung and Hoseok were in their own worlds sitting on the floor. 

“Yah, Jungkook,” Hoseok beckoned. 

“What?”

“Have you ever been in love before? I feel like you haven’t.”

Your heart started to thump wildly in your own chest as you did your best not to choke from the water. They would ask this question when you’re present. 

“Ay, I have,” Jungkook defended himself, not looking up from his phone. 

“Really?” Hoseok nudged the youngest’s leg, very interested. “How many times?”

Jungkook looked up, but rather than looking at Hoseok, he looked directly at you. 

“Once.”

You cleared your throat, eyes immediately down toward the sink as you washed the cup furiously before putting it on the washing rack. The other two looked over as well, realizing you were awake the whole time. Before any of them could speak, you were already back in your room, deep in your sheets as you muffled your screams. 

There was no way. You’re simply imagining things. 

“Once.” 

“Ay wake up girl, the wedding is in a few hours!” Hoseok’s sing-song voice chimed through the air as he pulled the curtains wide open. Your brain was frazzled as he started to shake you playfully awake, the room filled with his infectious laughter. 

You felt weird. Surely, you were well rested after the events from yesterday, but you could’ve sworn something happened last night that you couldn’t place what it was. Your dream consisted of a snapshot of the week thus far but convoluted, and you found yourself unsure. One of the dreams you had was Jungkook confessing he was in love with you to Hoseok and Taehyung, but for some reason, that felt extremely vivid to you. 

You slowly got up and began your morning routine as a whiff of toasted bread, bacon, and eggs filled the air. Hoseok was making his infamous toast for everybody, humming an unknown but catchy tune as he did so. 

“Morning my dear,” he said sweetly as you made your way to the kitchen. The glass you left last night disappeared, meaning that memory you had last night was fabricated. You exhaled deeply, relieved before taking a seat on the kitchen island.

Taehyung came out from his quarters shortly after, his brown permed hair still in disarray as he yawned loudly and stretched his body out for everyone to see.

“Man, we drank so much last night,” he commented, pointing to the five empty wine bottles perched on the counter. “What time did we sleep last night?”

“Don’t know,” Hoseok chimed, plopping the scrambled eggs neatly on one of the plates of buttered toast before handing him an opened jar of blueberry jam. “Jungkookie drank the most too and he’s still not awake yet.”

You look toward the direction of Taehyung and Jungkook’s room to see it still half ajar. Loud snoring was emitting from the room itself, indicating the youngest was dead asleep. 

“I’ll go wake him up,” you piped up, slipping off of the chair and making your way toward the room. Pushing the door back, you saw Jungkook’s head popping out from sheets as he continued to snore loudly into the AM hours. 

Slowly making your way to the bed, you sat on the edge of the bed, leaning in to start lightly shaking him awake.

“Kook, wake up.”

He stopped mid-snore, breathing sharply before beginning to pull the sheets off of—

Jungkook was naked. Very naked. 

You stood up immediately, your eyes widened at the realization that he was starting to peel off the sheets below his shoulders, exposing his upper chiseled body. He was murmuring complete nonsense in his sleep as his eyes were circling around in its sockets, waking up. You found yourself panicking, heat rising to your face as he began pushing the sheets even lower. 

No. Not today. 

Before you would see more, you turned around quickly and shut the door aggressively, making a beeline towards the kitchen island again. 

Hoseok noticed your change in demeanor immediately as your butt slammed on the chair cushion, your eyes glued to the plate in front of you. 

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Y-yeah,” you blatantly lied, picking up a fork and not looking at Hoseok or anybody for that matter. Pushing your fork into the toast in one hand and cutting up the toast in another, you were doing your best to keep it together and not replaying Jungkook’s buff chest in your mind or a flash of his well defined abs or whatever else you saw in a split second. Hell, you were sure you saw more, but you were too stunned to speak. Why you forgot that Jungkook slept naked was beyond you. You knew this about him and walked into that completely oblivious about it.

It didn’t take long for Jungkook to find clothes, wearing a fresh set of pajamas, this time a dark green see-through one out of all choices. He sat down next to you with a delivery of Hope Toast from Hoseok himself right away. 

“Morning,” Jungkook greeted with the most groggiest voice, eyes blinking several times in the attempt to stay awake. He seemed oblivious to the interaction you two had earlier, unaware that you saw 80% of his bare body. 

“Look at you being a total rockstar,” Hoseok complimented, in awe of his cool pajamas. 

You, on the other hand, were not having a great time. His tattoo sleeve was all the way up to the top of his shoulders, peeking through in great detail through the holes. Your brain was able to delete the holes altogether, seeing the full picture in 4K. You could see his little black boxers underneath in the corner of your eye, tightly wrapped around his massive thighs. 

If you weren’t noticing his body before, you were extremely distracted by it by now. The silence wasn’t helping either. 

“I’m going to make some juice,” you broke the silence and got up, trying to not look Jungkook in the eye. Pulling the juicer from the pantry and the fruits from the fridge. “Who wants some?”

“Me,” Hoseok and Jungkook replied at the same time. 

You began cutting up the fruits and began loading into the machine. With whatever energy you had left over, you began pushing the stick down the chamber and the frustration you had toward Jungkook. With every push, you were attempting to erase all the pent up tension away to no avail, still remembering his glances and genuine attentiveness and kindness and—

There was a bit of resistance, no, a lot of resistance. Your eyebrows knitted together as you pulled the stick up and looked inside. The orange slices you had cut up were lodged deeply in there, caught right in the middle of the dividers. You groaned, trying to fish out the contents with a nearby utensil before pathetically pushing the stick down one more in an effort to clear it.

After a few moments of struggling, you heard someone moving from their seat and heading toward you to assist you.

“Thank—”

Jungkook’s arms popped up from either side of you as both of his hands grabbed the top of yours holding the stick. He was incredibly close to you, his sturdy and buff body pressed up against yours as he grunted repeatedly in your left ear to push the contents down for you. You felt every hot breath of his, as you struggled to find your own. It felt like you two were in an embrace as your brain went to space yet again, not even catching a single break from quite literally five minutes earlier.

The slices gave way and broke apart with his strength alone as you found yourself flushing madly at the amount of contact Jungkook was initiating without warning. He must know what he was doing, otherwise it didn’t compute for you. It was one thing you saw him grow confident in making moves, but another to actually experience it yourself. 

No wonder girls fell at his feet now. Jungkook is incredibly dangerous. 

The whirring of the juicer droned on as you two finished the last few slices, generating more than enough juice for the three of you. You shut the machine off while he took the stick from you to clean it immediately. You turned around to see Taehyung and Hoseok whispering amongst each other before separating a millisecond after, pretending it didn’t happen, looking in opposite directions.

Shut up.

It didn’t take long for you guys to get ready for the wedding. Well, at least for Taehyung and Hoseok anyway. Taehyung had to leave immediately after he finished his breakfast to be a part of the groomsmen (in which he reluctantly said yes for, as he hated being a part of anything that required actual work) and Hoseok had to set up the audio equipment for music. It left you and Jungkook alone again for most of the day from the ceremony itself to even sitting together at the reception. It was an open reception by the beach filled with candlelights and leis everywhere, making it a very typical but beautiful island destination wedding. 

You wore a simple YSL black dress with a heart print on it as Jungkook wore a very casual black leopard print suit. It would be a lie to say that he didn’t steal the show away, gathering a great deal of interest amongst the wedding guests. 

As the night progressed after the usual wedding moments passed, you found yourself downing a few drinks and there (open bars were great!), grooving along in your seat and eating what was left of the wedding cake that was served an hour ago. Jungkook was beaming and cheering his former water polo mates on, occasionally hollering and hooting whenever someone busted into a head spin or other ‘90s dance moves they were too young to partake in at the time of popularity. You laughed and egged them on as well, leaning against your chair as Hoseok finished up his set with Beyoncé’s “BREAK MY SOUL”. 

In the middle of it, you felt a tap against your shoulders. Looking up, you realize Jungkook was gesturing to you to come with him to dance. You smiled warmly, grabbing his hand as he navigated through the guests to the dance floor. He had taken off his jacket at this point, his white satin shirt billowing in the cool breeze as his sleeves were pushed up to his elbows to alleviate the heat. Hoseok was right; he really was a rockstar.

Just as you two began to groove along with the music, the audio was cut off unexpectedly, followed by major mic feedback that irritated the guests. 

“Ah, sorry,” Taehyung stumbled on the stage, his hand extended in apology as the other was gripping the mic rather tightly. He changed out of his formal wear for a lighter blue Hawaiian shirt and white pants, adorning 4 different leis that were put on him throughout the night and it was clear he was incredibly drunk. Not realizing he was yelling, he continued, “SORRY, I just want to dedicate this song to my man Wooshik who not only is my favorite guy in the fucking world but…” 

He exhaled, sniffling a bit.

“...you deserve a happy life and a happy wife. Congrats man.” 

Taehyung gestured to Hoseok to start the music and so he did.

The lights began to dimmer as Taehyung began his rendition of “Unchained Melody” as his deep voice echoed throughout the beach landscape. The guests who were formerly getting wild were paired up almost instantaneously, grabbing their partners to slow dance. 

You stood there in horror as Jungkook chuckled to himself, his hands on his hips.

“He would do this, that bastard,” he cursed to himself, his ears turning incredibly red. You flushed as well, not really sure of what to do. 

“We can sit back down,” you suggested, already starting to turn back towards your seat, but Jungkook grabbed your hand, pulling you toward him. He wrapped his arms around your waist as you instinctively rested your arms around his neck, mind just dizzy. 

“No, let’s dance anyway. Fuck Taehyung,” he chuckled, swinging the both of you ever so slowly to the beat. 

As the song progressed and Taehyung began to croon through the high notes to much fanfare, you found yourself slow-dancing with your childhood best friend, turned enemy, turned friends again against the backdrop of one of the most beautiful places in the entire world. As the string lights began to flicker on slowly for the ambiance, you could see the warmth in Jungkook’s eyes reflecting on the light. 

It felt like you two were teenagers again, not knowing anything else besides school and pop culture. He was your first slow dance at your middle school prom, and you could remember him and his braces grinning at you with excitement. This time, he was older, his smile was more reserved, soft and gentle as he always was with you. All the memories of you two together for the past week started to come together as you wished you had more time to spend with him, more time to laugh with each other instead of the last 48 hours. Three years felt like eternity, but this past week felt even longer than that.

“You look beautiful tonight,” Jungkook said breathlessly. Your heart skipped a beat once more. You? Beautiful? He was perfect. 

“You too,” you replied, making sure he felt the same.

He leaned closer to you and gripped you tighter. His eyes suddenly turned dark as his smile fell a bit. You looked at him with confusion, unable to piece it together. 

All the words he wanted to say were forming in his brain as it began spilling out once more.

“I’m sorry.” 

Sorry?

“I’m sorry for abandoning you…for…” he stopped for a moment, clearing his throat a bit, breath seeping in alcohol. “...for leaving you to deal with that fallout, that heartache by yourself. I was so selfish back then and I’m so sorry.” 

As Taehyung reached the highest notes, Jungkook started shaking a bit and not from the cold. He had more to say. Your stomach was bubbling with acid as you felt your throat tighten, feeling a bit sick. The drinks were catching up to you, and it was compounded by the weight of emotions you were feeling up until this point. It was being validated, but you had a sickening feeling where it was going.

🎶 And time goes by so slowly,

And time can do so much 🎶 

“You’re right. I thought I was the man, the top of the world. I thought maybe, just maybe, I would find myself, like I can change everything about me or something. And then I realized…” 

🎶 Are you still mine? 🎶

“...I realized that I just needed you.”

You felt incredibly nauseous at this point and as Taehyung kneeled to the ground behind you next to the groom and his new bride with a crowd cheering him on, you felt the need to throw up and it was definitely not on the dance floor. 

Before you knew it, Jungkook was leaning in closer to you, closing his eyes. Unfortunately, you couldn’t take it anymore. 

🎶 I need your love 🎶

You unwrapped your arms off of Jungkook’s neck and turned around immediately, eyes looking toward the nearest exit. You could feel Jungkook’s grip loosening fast as you left the dance floor almost immediately and to the outskirts of the reception. You knelt down and unloading the bile that was pushing up your throat for the past five minutes onto the clear white sand. Tears formed in your eyes as you began wiping away the fluids from your face as you continued to cough and spit toward the ground. 

The world was shifting underneath you as you stumbled back up slowly, hearing faint clapping ringing in your ears. Your mind was also swirling in the same fashion, unable to digest what just happened. 

Here you were, on the last night of your trip, slow dancing with your childhood best friend only for him to dump you a boatload of intense human emotions. Sure, you forgave him for saying those words and perhaps for the lost time, but this whole thing of him realizing his fuckboy era was a distraction from him actually missing you. You wondered if this was a huge game to him or if he was being serious. If he had feelings this whole time, why was he slipping in the middle of the night every night for the past week in the arms of other girls? Why didn’t he say anything at all while you were with your ex? You didn’t have the patience anymore to be played, and truly, Jungkook was driving you insane. 

It didn’t take long for him to find you kneeled over by the sand staring at your vomit as he called for you, asking if you were okay. He knelt down too, putting his hand on your back. You had enough. 

You finally mustered up the courage to say it.

“What…what the fuck is wrong with you?” 

“What?” 

You turned toward him, standing back up. 

“What is wrong with you? Like, what is your end goal here?”

Jungkook followed suit, his eyes flickered from your question. 

“I don’t have one.”

You grinned bitterly. 

“You…you spent the past three years disappearing off the face of the planet ‘exploring yourself’ and now you’re telling me you were actually lost and confused? And…” you stepped closer to him. “And you needed me? Needed me for fucking what?”

You scoffed, extending your arms out in frustration and confusion. Jungkook on the other hand, was making himself smaller, his hands tucked away in his pockets as he was searching for an answer himself.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know.”

“No, I do know,” Jungkook corrected himself, inhaling sharply, his eyes everywhere else but you. He groaned in frustration, his shoulders lifting up into a shrug. “I don’t know, what the hell do you want me to say? That I fucking missed you? That I…” he swallowed, crossing his arms, “...that I wasted my early twenties away to forget you? Is that what you want me to say?”

He exhaled sharply, his eyes closing ever so slowly out of frustration. You were stunned, trying to defend yourself. 

“Well no, but—”

“But what?” he rebutted. “You think I’m this huge fuckboy with no morals or whatever, but honestly, do you wanna know where I went for the past week? I wasn’t fucking anybody, you know. I was outside at every bar we went to, angry at the fact that you spent the past week ignoring me like I was nothing to you. Like, was I really nothing to you this whole time?” 

“You…” Jungkook grimaced, biting his bottom lip. “You said you were okay with me spreading my wings, but you had no idea what I was going through, how much I longed to be with you instead of seeing you with that asshole. You wanted me to be there for you when you two finally broke it off, but fuck, I couldn’t. I had to get away and forget everything, forget about you.”

You were eerily quiet, unable to say anything. Although you chalked up his downward spiral and your engagement happening at the same time to be a pure coincidence of you two going in very different life paths, it didn’t occur to you that your engagement was the catalyst for everything else. It made sense to you.

Jungkook’s voice was trembling. 

“You know, I wasn’t even formally invited to this wedding. Taehyung asked me about being his plus one and I said no. It wasn’t until he mentioned you were coming, I finally decided to go because…I guess, I wanted to be able to tell you all of this, for you to finally take me seriously.”

You got very tense, already about to see what was going to happen. 

“Kook—” you began to interject. 

“I’m in love with you, okay?” he put his hands up in defeat. “It’s really just that. Maybe you didn’t see it before, but I always have. I just got lost in between trying to forget that I did. Can you really blame me for that?”

He started laughing indignantly, tears forming in his eyes. He knelt down soon after, hands buried in his face. He was unraveling in front of you, more vulnerable than he has ever been. You always thought Jungkook’s heart hardened after his misadventures for the past few years, but the man still wore his heart on his sleeve as he always did, still sobbing his eyes out as if it was his first heartbreak ever in his life. You wondered how long he must have felt this way, how much pain he must’ve felt when you first told him you loved that ex of yours. Self medication was never a good look on anybody, and he was the worst when it came to drinking until he forgot even before things spiraled out of control.

This whole time you felt that your worst years of your life were purposely missed by your childhood best friend, but in reality, he was suffering at the same time in a much different way. If only you knew then rather than harboring so much resentment toward him for the past three years. You accused him of being a terrible friend, but truly, you weren’t there for him either. Instead, you casted his phase as him wasting his life away. 

“Jungkook…” you called out his name softly, leaning down to his level to touch the top of his head gently, rubbing it. “I’m so sorry I didn’t see how much you were hurting yourself. I should’ve been there for you…”

It didn’t matter anymore. You couldn’t make up for the lost time and the words and actions that could’ve been said or done. If anything, you didn’t deserve him, and yet, he still wanted to be with you. Why, you wondered. 

He continued to sob loudly, hiccuping from time to time in attempts to catch his breath. Fully leaning onto you, he embraced you as you two fell into each other, not saying much. 

There were too many emotions still swirling in the air, and you didn’t want him to say more things that ached your heart more and more. The more you thought about it, the more you wanted to blame yourself for not seeing what was right in front of you the whole time. Even the words “I’m sorry” weren't cutting it anymore. You didn’t know how else to make him less hurt than just resurfacing your buried feelings for him, but even then, it wasn’t fair for him. He had years on you while you went and loved another man completely. 

Absolute silence fell between the two of you as he lifted his head up finally to meet your eyes again. He was in a lot of pain, and you couldn’t stand seeing more of it. You wanted it to go away, and you wanted him to forget all of it.

And so you leaned in and your lips touched his ever so lightly. He didn’t take long before he pushed his lips deeper into yours, sealing a deep and passionate kiss between the two of you. Your lips dance in between his as his mouth opens for you, taking you all in. You found yourself taking a light gasp before following along with the rhythm, your hands cupping the sides of his face. His arms enveloped your whole body, holding tightly as if he wasn’t going to let go anytime soon. For minutes you two were just like that, deeply exploring each other for the first time, one of the potential many times after. 

As you two slowly retracted from each other, he let go with his lips pursed together in a soft pout, his eyes still swirling in its sockets. You could tell his mind was pulling in so many different directions like yours, having a hard time fully grasping the weight of what happened. There wasn’t really much to say, and with everything unfolded the way it did, it was best to just let the moment sink in for the night and figure out what was next later. 

It didn’t take long before both of you realized that the reception had been over a while ago as there weren’t that many guests remaining and the clean up crew had arrived. You pulled yourself back up with Jungkook doing the same as well, wiping his knees clean of the specks of sand stubbornly still attached to his designer pants. 

Silently, the two of you started walking back toward the car with Hoseok and Taehyung present, faces spelling massive worry.

“Where the hell were you guys?” Taehyung interrogated, enveloping you in a towel as Hoseok gave Jungkook’s jacket back to him. “We’ve been calling you for the past fifteen minutes.”

He was right. You opened your phone to see a flurry of messages and missed phone calls from the two.

“Sorry…” was all you could muster at that point. Your mind was clearly elsewhere and you were in need of a shower and a nice warm bed. “We uh…had a bit of a serious private conversation, that’s all.” 

That was all you could really say without divulging more before pulling yourself up into the van with Jungkook following suit, seated closely next to you. The other two immediately took notice of your guys’ sudden closeness, but rather than teasing the two of you about it, stayed quiet.

“Yeah,” he agreed blankly, also not giving much away. “It was much needed.”

You two exchanged glances at each other, having so much to say but not enough time to say it. Surely, it was the beginning of a next chapter together, and frankly, both of you weren’t sure if any of you were ready for it. But truthfully, truly, who really is? 

“Well, you guys sure looked rather cozy with each other tonight,” Taehyung quipped from the passengers’ seat with the sun visor mirror fully open and on as the van took off, leaving the shore behind. He was allegedly checking out the current status of his face, but you could tell he was monitoring the two of you in the back being way too comfortable with each other. 

Jungkook couldn’t help but to return a silent smirk to himself, looking outside to the city lights. Instinctively, he grabbed your hand, intertwining his tattooed fingers with yours without much thought. 

“Of course. We’re an item now, didn’t you know?” 

- end - 

[afatallovesong]

you!!! write!!! so!!! well!!!!! I've come back to your writing 3 times today just because it's SO GOOD. pretty please could you do another anything of luke? ngl I'm an absolute sucker for a friends/bffs to lovers trope so that would be fantastic if you could write another. sending big waves of love your way!!!!! x

Thank you so much for your kind words, I'm honestly so grateful to anyone who reads, likes, reblogs or even requests and whatever else you do on this site. I hope you continue to enjoy my posts, thank you for being here.

Okay now for the good stuff! Soooo, I decided this was going to be a 2-part piece because I also received another Luke request and there wasn't much of a prompt with it. I also just wrote way too much for this concept, so it needed a good chop in two. Oops.

ANYWAY... I will go back and edit in the link to part 2 here when it's done. I hope you enjoy your half first though :)

Not Yours

A Luke Hemmings one shot (except not really)

18+, Smut, NSFW

Part 1, Part 2

Word Count: 6871

“It’s not that big of a deal, you caught me in a compromising position, we can move on now.” He’s not even blinking an eye; he’s not doing much of anything actually. Maybe it’s his years of keeping his lip tight for the sake of the band, never letting a secret spill for the gossip that would entail. He’d been working on his poker face for over 10 years, and you were ashamed to say it was working on you. You couldn’t see a single glimmer of guilt cross his chiselled features and it’s not like he should be ashamed of his sexuality, he was entitled to it as much as anyone. That wasn’t what irked you. What was bothering you, however, was that you just noticed the small smile that crept onto his lips whenever you stared at them for too long.

“Are you fucking kidding me? I caught my best friend with his dick down some poor girl’s throat.” You stood up from the chair to emphasise your frustration, how very not okay you were with the events of the previous night. You hadn’t set up a schedule for the room share, you hadn’t enforced any rules at all to prevent things like this from happening. You honestly hadn’t felt like you’d needed to. You were sharing a room with him over a long weekend. Just 3 nights and 4 days. You were actually dumb enough to think that booking a room with one 1 bed would finally be what bought you closer together, smashing the boundaries between the two of you that normal circumstances never could. You’d never anticipated those same boundaries being broken quite like this.

The image of him sat right on the edge, rutting his hips up into her mouth. You couldn’t forget it. Nor the hand he had gripping her jaw whilst simultaneously gripping the sheets on your side of the bed too. Just rubbing the material back and forth between his thumbs like a comfort blanket. He didn’t even look at her while she took him, no. His head had fallen back, face positioned towards the ceiling. His eyes clasped shut, lips barely puffing out air. He looked lost in her touch but not enough to vocalise a damn word. He was silent. Just chasing that high without any means of an end. It was unsettling. His jugular was so bare too. His Adams apple gulping down the air you failed to see him take in. Maybe he’d stolen it from you since the sight was so frustratingly breath-taking.

“You make it sound like I forced her.” His confidence wavered but only for a second, his hands fiddling with the rings on his fingers, sliding them back and forth as he fought his case and you instantly felt regretful for the way you’d phrased it. “I didn’t mean it like that.” You held your hand out steady to reassure him. You really didn’t, he wasn’t like that. Even in his hardest partying days you don’t think he could have forced anyone. One look into the salted ocean of his eyes and you’d be willing to do just about anything to stay a while, take a swim, dive in, and surround yourself in the clearness. Only because you wanted to, no other reason.

“I’m sorry. I just-.” You go to sit down beside him on the bed but think better of it. You hadn’t slept in it at all. Another reminder as to how he couldn’t convince someone to do something they hadn’t wanted to. You’d actually wanted to drop your clothes and slot beside him as if nothing had ever happened. When he’d held your hand and almost begged you to stay you nearly broke to pieces and crumbled beside him like the remnants of a midnight snack before bed. You just didn’t want to share the same bed he’d used with her. Even if that meant opting for the sofa that night and then Ashton’s bed the night after. “They’ve been cleaned you know.” He refers to the hygiene of the bedsheets beneath him. He sighs before standing up to let you sink down into the sheets in replacement of him, you now felt less ill thinking about touching them with your own palms. Even if they hadn’t been cleaned daily, did you really think he was that much of animal that he’d followed through after you witnessed him? The sheets were as pristine and unused as they were when you arrived.

“It was just a shock.” It was a shock to you to slot your key card in the door, stumbling through, shedding your boots from your ankles as you trickled in from the hotel bar. You’d held them in your hands as you walked the short hallway past the reasonably sized bathroom, towards the bedroom. You dropped them with a double thud when your eyes fell to the girl on her knees. It was a shock for a lot of reasons. 1, it meant you couldn’t move for a while, feet cemented in place, creating your own personal hell as you watched the scene play out in front of you. 2, it meant you had to announce yourself somehow or make a heady escape, but you’d doubted you were quite sober enough to retreat without making a single sound anyhow. 3, because of the impending doom of your friendship with both Luke and the others because they came as a packaged deal, nothing more and nothing less. 4, as it was only fitting to have quadruple the trauma. It meant that it hurt like hell cause you wanted nothing more than to be that girl you were referring to. To be the one taking him instead of witnessing him giving himself to someone else. That was the biggest shock. You hated that you still desperately wished it had been you.

“Can we just please forget this?” He fucked up the moment he attempted to get his kicks from someone else and it didn’t take a genius to know why. His hand wasn’t enough, the hands of the girls he chased, who also chased him, weren’t enough. Hell, maybe he was asexual or something, maybe sexual gratification just wasn’t it for him, could never fix his little problem though he’d like to argue it was actually far from little but for the sake of punishing himself further, sure, a “little “problem. But then he let his mind wander to you. If he just pictured you, imagined you, like he did that night, that night when he closed his eyes and thought of you so hard, he thought he’d summoned you there himself when he opened his eyes to the sight of you stood in the doorway. The only thing that was wrong with the scenario was that it wasn’t just a fantasy of his, you wouldn’t push her out the way and finish the job for her. You were there and you were horrified at what you’d seen. He didn’t think he’d ever have it in him to get hard again. It was what he deserved after all.

“I can take the couch tonight.” He threw his phone down onto it to show he’d claimed it for the evening. “You’re too tall for it, even I had to curl up and I’m at least 4 inches shorter. Take the bed, I’ll see about getting my own room. Maybe reception have had a cancellation or something.” You felt too guilty to ask Ashton for the second night in a row. He needed a good night’s rest more than anyone after the shows he’d played. He insisted that he hadn’t minded, that he quite enjoyed not being alone, but you couldn’t impose, especially when you felt how much he tossed, turned, and had to hold himself back from rolling into your side accidentally. Even his subconscious knew he needed the space.

“Then I’ll sleep on the floor or something.” He’s already grabbing the couch cushions, throwing them down on the lush carpet, ignoring most of what you’d just said. “Luke you really don’t have to.” He’d mess up his back if he stayed down there, you weren’t going to let that happen. “Just take the bed.” You grab his wrist to prevent any further preparations he could make. For a moment you thought you felt a static shock from the contact, you block the memory and release him. “You’re cute when you’re bossy.” He attempts a smirk; however premature it may be. “That why you test me so much?” You take over, grabbing the pillows from your side of the mattress to assemble with the others at the foot of the bed. Luke bites his tongue when he wants to say more. He instead walks towards the wardrobe vaguely remembering the sight of spare pillows and a few top sheets in case of a colder night. “Thank you.” You smile as you take them from him.

“That’s not so bad.” You clap your hands together, proud of the little bed you’d made. The couch cushions forming a makeshift mattress, the one blanket draped over as a sheet. The pillows both spare and from the bed were lay around to catch your body if you tossed and turned in the night which you definitely would be doing, you always did when you felt stressed, today was no different. The last blanket was there to cover you as a makeshift duvet. It looked like the beginnings of an excellent fort, not so much a comfortable night’s sleep but it was the best you could do in your newly found confinement. “That’s the worst arrangement I’ve ever seen.” You scowl at him, and he ignores it. He’s kneeling down, shifting the pillows already before halting his movements, retreating from the carpet as quickly as he’d crouched there in the first place. “I’ll be back in like 5 minutes.”

You stand there knowing exactly where he’s gone. He ran to the next room; you hear his heavy fists on the door through the wall. You roll your eyes at the way he runs to his friends for help at every turn. I guess they were more like brothers at this stage, but it didn’t make it any less adorable, and moderately annoying if you were being brutal, and you were. He couldn’t just solve a problem by himself, never had to. He needed the nurturing, the second, third and fourth opinions. The council of his band. Maybe that’s why it was so hard to sweep this fallout under the mat. He was trying to fix it independently without turning to them. He wasn’t even asking you if there was anything he could do, even if you wouldn’t have helped him to figure it out, he never asked you anyway. That’s all you really wanted too, to be the one he could go to, for anything, not entirely without judgement but closely enough. Before you thought about it any longer, he was back with more sheets and more pillows, nearly tripping over the fabric and his own feet to transport them to you.

You took some of the load from him immediately and he smiled at you genuinely for the first time that day. He felt like he’d earned the right to show you some more kindness and he was taking the opportunity gladly. “Okay so what’s the plan then?” You let him lead you, shaking your shoulders out, ready to out yourself to work as if this was such a strenuous task. “Okay so-“ You spent a little while pacing back and forth over the space before moving ultimately decided to deconstruct and set up camp elsewhere. The extent of the collected materials proving too large for the designated area at the end of the bed. Instead, you’d incorporated the sofa into his design, altering the original structure completely. You’d taken the sheet he’d wrangled from Michael’s linen closet, placed it over the couch and tucked it behind where it met the wall to keep it in place. You’d then draped the opposite end over the two chairs that were once beneath the desk and dressing table the hotel provided creating a roof-like effect.

Luke then moved beneath the newly erected structure, layering the pillows with some blankets to create a cushiony base large enough to be considered a twin sized bed (the best Luke could manage with the space). All before adding the couch cushions now covered in fresh sheets as a headrest for more pillows to build on top. He’d even managed to enhance the practicality of the fort so that there were a couple of free plug sockets for you to access to charge your phone and other items while you lay inside. He’d clearly had too much experience working with hotel resources when he was living in them from week to week. You felt both sad at the thought of him having to entertain himself that way but also a little jealous of the idea that he might not have been as lonely as you pictured him. You may not be the only girl he’d built a fort for. You weren’t the only girl he’d chosen to do a lot of things with. You might have been the only girl he’d really cared for though; you just didn’t really know that yet and that was hard enough. All that your new home was missing was another blanket and it didn’t surprise you when he leapt up again to scrounge one from someone else, after already bleeding them dry. You had to be a little impressed with his efforts at an apology, he’d tried so hard for you.

When he came back, he sank to his knees at the base of your little palace, sweat gathering on his brow, breath exhaling and inhaling rapidly enough that you’d thought he might pass out. “Where did you steal that one from?” Judging by the flustered look of him, he’d ran home and back. “Nearly killed housekeeping when I just about wheezed my request.” Your hand flew to your mouth to cover the snort that released itself. He’d never been happier to hear such a dorky sound shoot out of your nose. It may have been embarrassing for you, but for him it was the sweetest sound. He didn’t have a weird fetish or anything, he just knew that you had to be comfortable or really, thoroughly enjoying yourself, to let a sound like that out without wincing in shame afterwards. It meant you were relaxed with him; your walls had rained down against the ground and you weren’t fighting with him or your urge to stay composed any longer. When your tearful eyes met his, tearful with happiness and rib-aching laughter over sadness by the way, he wanted to kiss you.

You wanted to kiss him too. You didn’t. You just thanked him instead. “You might have a future in decorating Mr Hemmings.” You shuffle back under the fortress, lying yourself back, testing the comfort of the bed he’d made. You beckon him in with your finger and he gladly complies, joining you with just enough space between you to settle your hands down without them touching. “Only kid’s rooms though.” You add. “I think this is the dream house for any age.” He argues and you disagree. “For about a week until you start to get claustrophobic.” He couldn’t deny you there. He was already starting to feel it, he could have sworn it was bigger than this.

He sits himself up, looking back down towards you before sending himself out. “Well, I hope you enjoy your new home.” He shuffles on his bottom to get himself to the singular exit. He doesn’t make it very far when your soft hand traps his wrist against the cushions they still lie on. “You don’t have to go yet.” He argues. “Technically I’m not going anywhere, same room and all.” You roll your eyes; you finally show him some normality and he chose to annoy you. “Lie back down.” He doesn’t dare to escape you now. “Yes ma’am.”

He lays himself down, heart suddenly hammering when he notices you’re hand still holding onto him. He smiles to himself uncontrollably the longer it stays there, your thumb starting to stroke over his skin anxiously, further confirming that you were touching him on purpose, that it wasn’t just the accidental impulse it started out to be. “You can hold my hand you know.” His mouth feels drier than the Sahara as he says it. Probably because he had no business suggesting anything for you to do. “I don’t know where it’s been.” You couldn’t resist the dig, even if it actually churned your stomach to let it slip. It still stirred anxiety within you, the thought of him actually being with someone else. “Hilarious.” He scolds before his breath catches, your hand gently prying his fingers open to let yours slip between them like flowing silk.

“I was working up to it.” You admit, turning your head to face the side of his. He felt your gaze, but he didn’t meet it. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to hide his excitement if he did. He opted for the sheet above instead, soft, simple, and pure. Pure enough to absorb his expressions and not reflect them but conceal them instead. “Luke, I think I was jealous.” You drop the bomb on him, exploding the neutral scenario he’d created for you so painstakingly hard. He shoots to sit up, nearly deconstructing the damn thing he spent so long building in apology to you. “Well, you didn’t have to react quite like that.” You retract your hands, pulling them over your lower tummy prodding at the butterflies to quieten them down as you do damage control. “I know it's bad okay, you don’t have to say anything. I already know.” It’s a good thing you let him know because he didn’t think he had it in him to utter a single word right now. His body was short circuiting before your eyes. Jealous. Jealous of him, jealous of her, jealous of what exactly?

“I think- “You cut yourself off, to start again. “I guess I- “No, not quite right again. Maybe you should just throw caution to the wind, you’d done enough pussyfooting around.

Throw. Caution. To. The. Fucking. Wind.

“I booked a single bedded room Luke, what the fuck did you think that meant?” You didn’t think it would come out quite so aggressively, but you weren’t about to take anything back now. His wires were finally uncrossing, his head clearing, he was fully functional once more and recognising his colossal idiocy. “I’m a fucking idiot.” He doesn’t even move. He’s facing forward, palms flat against the blanket, shoulders slumped as the words sink in. “You think? I mean come on, did you think we were gonna top and tails it?” You laugh as you even mention it. “It used to be my favourite trope actually, only one bed, but I guess I see the flaws in it now.” He’s shaking his head to react to your words. “I’m so dumb.” You snort. Yeah, you said that already, you think. This time he doesn’t find your laughter so adorable, this time he hates the sound because it’s just you mocking him and although he thoroughly deserved it, he wanted, no, needed, you to shut the fuck up.

He turned himself around, sitting on his knees, facing you with all the confidence he had left. “Tell me I have another shot.” He’s looking at you and you’re looking away and he’d lift your chin to bring your attention in his direction, but he doesn’t dare overstep physically since his words were doing quite enough of that already. “Tell me I can have another chance.” You can hear his heart pounding in his chest. Good. “Or what?” He’s so close to just slamming your back down and shutting you up in every way he could. “Or I take the not-so-subtle hint,” he nearly winces as he nods towards the bed he’d stupidly ignored before finishing his sentence, “and I don’t ask again.” You know he’s not moved an inch, but it feels like his drifting from you. “I want you to ask again.” He’s about to scream with excitement. “Ask me Luke- “He’s leaning forward carefully, making no real effort to close any gap, just meeting you in the middle, the rest of the distance was yours to close. “Do I have another chance?” You’re not saying a damn thing back and the silence is deadly. “Or do I have to take it from you?” Your eyes meet his briefly before rolling back at the intensity of his words.

His hands float towards your hips, shuffling your body closer to him. You feel as though you weigh nothing at all when he lifts you with such ease. “Need your permission.” His forehead is almost leaning into yours but he’s too frightened to touch you more than he already had just in case you disappeared the moment he stepped it up a notch. Your permission is granted by a kiss to his neck. His eyes fly shut when your lips caress his skin. He never expected any of this, you both knew that he’d made it abundantly clear, but he certainly never would have thought you’d kiss his throat before you so much as pecked him on the lip. It felt like more of a punishment than anything else he’d gone through with you. Luke craved you. He’d sell his soul for a real kiss from you, in his mind he already had done because in what world did he deserve your lips trailing down his chest? The buttons of his shirt flying open without his realisation because he’s so lost in thought deciphering if he’d been imagining the whole ordeal. “Shit, Luke you’re solid.” He’s coming to his senses, his hips rocking up into your hand. The second he opened his eyes he nearly creamed his pants seeing your eyes go wide, lips wet with your salivating at the sight of his fat cock begging to be released from the confinement of his jeans.

You rub over the hardened lump with a morbid curiosity for how long it would take to get him begging you for more. You also can’t help but wonder how easy it was for his previous endeavour to get him like that. He’s pressing his crotch into your hand, his teeth nearly piercing his bottom lip as he melts under your lacklustre touch. He knows he could cum from it but that didn’t mean he couldn’t aspire for more; it wasn’t nearly enough when he knew what you could be offering him. He wants to beg you, but the hoarseness of his dry throat has him whimpering and whining gruffly instead. “I wanna see what the hype is about.” You breathe as you unbutton his jeans, the zipper falling down by itself, your brow arching in surprise. “Jeans too tight?” He curses as he’s nearly freed. Your fingers immediately prod at a peculiar wet patch in the fabric of his underwear and for a moment he wonders why the fuck you’d ever think to touch him like that until he opens his eyes to view for himself.

He’d leaked a substantial amount of precum into the grey cotton of his pants and you didn’t have to be a genius to spot it and know exactly why it was there. “Fucking kill me now.” He threw his head back, hands covering his face before you could spot the redness of his cheeks. “It’s flattering Lu, nothing to be ashamed of.” Your eyes are transfixed on the area, unfazed. “Need to get these off you.” You tug at the waistband of his jeans, wiggling it as much as you could by yourself. You pout when you can’t quite manage it. Luke peaks at you through the gaps he’d made between his fingers. His hips lifted before he even thought about it. Your pout fades, lips parting to gasp instead as not only the denim but the material beneath had slid down to his mid-thigh, leaving him completely exposed to you for the first time.

This time you have to catch your jaw, closing your mouth before you really do dribble at the size of him. His tip is blushing red, leaking with arousal so vastly, its pooling onto his stomach. He’s thicker than you thought he’d be. You knew he felt fat in your hand, but you assumed the fabric assisted the image but no, it was all him. His cock was so thick you’d never be able to take it all at once, not without training anyway. He wonders what’s going on in your beautiful little mind as you stare down at him, not moving a muscle. “Baby please.” Before he could whine much more, you outstretched your tongue to lick the liquid silver he’d left against the soft flesh of his tummy. You vibrate a moan against him at the sweet taste of him and his cock doesn’t just twitch, it practically leaps at vision of you. You’ve shocked him speechless. He starts to wonder if you intentionally avoided the places he needs you the most or if it’s all your own sick little game of revenge.

His hips lift from the floor once more and you use both hands to force him back down before you assault his pretty tip with kisses and kitten licks. You knew they did nothing but frustrate him, barely stimulating him enough to please him, but you were just getting started on this little love letter of yours. You wanted to show him all you had, let him forget anyone else who ever dared to try and compete. You licked over the sensitive little slit at the centre of his tip and he gripped the sheets so hard his knuckles turned white and cracked from the pressure. He needed to remember how helpless you’d made him feel just then, like he could have finished instantly into your mouth.

You hummed an unidentifiable tune as you sucked the first inch of him into your mouth, moaning as an unexpected squirt of liquid shot onto your tongue, more of his early arousal. You never thought you’d ever get him this good. Not before you even took him whole. His body was practically coming alive under your touch, he’d have nothing left to give and you hadn’t even gotten halfway down his length yet. “Oh fuck.” He’s groaning desperately as you retreat from him. You remove all touch, letting his cock slap back against his stomach. He’s never felt so exposed in his life, and it was exhilarating for him. He was completely at your disposal. But you don’t leave him like that for long, even if you’d wanted to. You were about ready to hump the pillow strategically placed beneath you, you were that turned on by the idea of tasting him.

You spat in your hand and gripped the base of his cock before dragging the wetness over him, slowly mixing it with the lubricant he’d already provided. “You’re so hot.” He’s putty in your hands. You smile, not towards him, just down at his cock as you drag your hand firmly over him. You hope to create a torturous pace, nowhere near fast enough to get a release but just enough to keep his hips stuttering, tip leaking and him close to begging for your lips. You were concerned to take him whole and thankfully with your hand wrapped around him, you may not have to. Even if that were difficult for you to accept when you’d needed him so bad. You’d never felt a hunger like this before. You’d never wanted anything in your mouth as much as his cock and there was no point denying either of your urges, this was your chance.

You were so greedy as you took him in your mouth this time. Your hands fisting tightly around him, tongue slurping up his juices as you inched your way down him. “So, fucking greedy for me, fuck baby.” You dare to glance up through your lashes to see him leaning against his elbows, watching you with his jaw slack, tongue swiping over his bottom lip. The moment your eyes meet, he swears he can’t take it anymore and he pushes your head down over him. You let out a strangled moan and he panics at the sound vibrating against him, now terrified he’d hurt you, gearing himself up to pull you back where you were. You fight his hands, surprising him yet another time that evening. You force your lips down until they reach the hand you coated his base with, and he hits the back of your throat with a grunt.

The noise Luke made could be compared with one he’d release if he were punched in the chest, sounding both winded and in pain. You suck hard on as much of him as you can before pulling back and throwing yourself down again. “Shit, just like that, oh fuck, use that tongue.” He’s gripping your hair tightly in one hand and fighting himself strongly to avoid pushing you down again with the other. Instead, he tugged on your locks as a form of encouragement, and it had your stomach doing somersaults.

The noise of you slurping, choking, and gagging around him was a symphony of pleasure and he’d half the mind to record it and keep it forever if he could but he couldn’t fucking move from you if he tried. If he left you for even a millisecond, he’d never forgive himself. He was finally, exactly where he needed to be, tightly packed into your hot little mouth, his new place to call home and what a glorious home it was turning out to be. He belonged there.

Scratch everything, he previously thought about never being satisfied in bed. He’d never felt more wrong in his entire life. He would eat his words as you ate him, gulping down whatever he could give you. His cock had never been harder, never been so happy. There wasn’t a better way for him to describe it when you sucked on him like that. He had to fight himself to keep his eyes open, to remain here with you, knowing that you were everything he’d been waiting for.

You looked so gorgeous taking him too. He wanted this image tattooed on his eyelids. He felt like his cock might burst when you started rocking your own hips while you inched back and forth over him. You’d loved his cock so much you couldn’t prevent yourself from getting off over it. Right in front of him, you humped your hot little cunt into the sheets as a desperate attempt to release the growing tension between your legs. “If you don’t keep your hips still, I’m gonna cum down your throat, do you hear me?” You furrow your brows, turning your attention to his face. He’s sweating, its dripping down his cheeks so nicely you almost mistook them for tears. You can’t help but be shy about his accusations. You didn’t intend to do anything. You instinctively chased a feeling against your will and if it was anyone’s fault it was his. You were aching for him to fill something more than your mouth. No matter how good he felt pressing against the walls of your throat, no room left to breathe or utter a sound, you wanted his size elsewhere.

You continued to take him, this time consciously stilling your hips but huffing every now and then when you felt the urge to move. You may have swivelled a little, but you’d hoped he’d be kind enough to let it go amiss. You weren’t that lucky. Luke’s hands leave your hair, and you were whining without the feeling of him coaxing you on until you simply couldn’t whine anymore. His hands had slinked down to the column of your throat, linking beneath where the two of you were already connected. He applied a pressure to the edges, blindly but cautiously trying not to harm you or block your air way completely. He clamped down little by little until not a peep was heard from your perfect mouth and he used your silence to pull you down until your nose was meeting his pelvis, till he felt his own cock pulsating down your throat whilst in his hands. He let out the heaviest pants as you tried to gag around him. That’s when it hit you.

When you saw this gaping mouth, his usually light eyes darkened like the night sky, his cheeks burning hot like a furnace. You came without a single touch, a slither of friction, not even a weak attempt at conversation. As if he was in your mind, knowing what had just happened to you through some unbreakable bond, he released you from him, hands shifting to pat your head, smooth his fingers through your hair and settle you down from this insane high of yours. You choke out a moan and your head crashes against his torso. You’d never known yourself to come undone like that. You were a giver and always had been. It was no secret to you or anyone you’d fucked, just how soaked the act got you but to cum from that alone. To finish with his cock filling your mouth. You felt your cunt continually spasming.

“What the fuck?” You question yourself breathlessly, ashamed of yourself for letting your guard slip like that. It was Luke who was meant to cum first, not you. It was him who needed to know just what he’d been missing. Your body had betrayed you. It was mortifying. You hid your face to escape the mockery you knew would be coming. You were so prepared for it, so distracted from the original task at hand, you’d stopped touching him all together. If he weren’t so ridiculously in love with you, he’d be telling you to get back to it. He was so on edge it wouldn’t take more than a couple flicks of your wrist to finish him anyway. Because that, that was the most incredible thing he’d ever witnessed.

You were hiding away from him, shying away as if it were something he’d judge you for. If anything, he was blessed by it. You’d literally wanted his cock down your throat so badly you couldn’t stop yourself from finishing when you felt it there. You had fucking ruined him. He would never look at you the same way again. He’d think of this moment, the bulge in your throat when you couldn’t contain him, the tears staining your cheeks from the fullness, the hand wrapped around him tight like a vice because you had to just touch him with more than just your mouth. He adored you so much you’d never, ever understand just how much.

Luke nudges you gently, hand slipping under your chin, lifting you up, the rest of your body deciding to go with it. Your red and puffy eyes meet his pathetically. “Gotta let me take you baby.” You find yourself nodding, even if you didn’t really know what he meant. He had been taking you. He’d had your mind, body, and soul, what more could there be? “Gotta get these clothes off for me.” His hands stroke over your shoulders, still coated in a t-shirt now dampened with sweat. You nod lazily before reaching for the hem to grip onto and lift. “Wait.” He pushes his forehead against yours, hands preventing yours from following his instruction. “Can I kiss you?” You stare dumbfounded. You’d done a lot more than kiss him now and yet he still had to ask. “Taste like you though.” You mutter. “Think I can live with that.”

His kiss breathes life back into your aching form. You feel like you can straighten your back again, sit tall, sit confidently without gripping his thighs for support. Luke kisses you slowly, not slow in a disappointing manner, not too vanilla to take away from the passion of the moment. It’s just pleasantly slow, soft, and serene. His lips feel nice. You decide you quite like the plumpness of his bottom lip in comparison with the sharpness of his top. You sink into his mouth, hand cupping his cheek as you glide your own over his.

His hands wander to your waist, grabbing a handful of flesh before fleeing further south. Your tongue licks a stripe over his bottom lip which he takes as a sign to part them. You slip your tongue into the warm cavern of his mouth, and he tastes himself with a whimper. His palms smack down on your ass hard enough to echo it like the sound of a cracking whip. The erotic sounds of your tongues dancing with each other should put you off but it just doesn’t. The wetness is invited, the warmth is accepted, the sensation had your hips rolling again and God there must be something wrong with you. You couldn’t fill your void with enough of him. He just smiled into your kiss because he’d felt exactly the same way.

“Gotta- “he tugs your shirt, “take- “lifting it clumsily above your hips between kisses, “your- “you start to feel the coolness of the exposure as it climbs higher, “these- “it’s becoming an unbearable taunt, “fucking clothes off.” He pulls back to watch you discard the material as fast as you could so you can throw yourself into his lap. He’s halfway through removing the remainder of his jeans when you start to remember the rest of you is also still clothed.

You both fumble to remove your trousers and any other barriers separating you from each other. You don’t have a single drop of energy left to allow yourself to feel self-conscious when his eyes wrack over your body. It’s hard to feel anything other than perfect when his top responses are to wrap his own hand around his cock and suck his bottom lip between his teeth. “You’re so pretty Luke.” You sigh and he whines, gripping himself just that little bit tighter at the tone of innocence in your voice. “Yeah?” You nod in confirmation before flicking his hand away, replacing it with your own. He fucks up into your hand unabashedly, too swept away to care, too comfortable with you to reconsider the impulse.

“Need you to touch me.” You mewl, swiping your thumb over the throbbing head of him similarly to how you did it with your tongue before. “Where baby?” He knows exactly where. “Touch you where?” He needs to hear it; he’s vibrating just considering it. “You know where.” You match him. “No, no, gotta tell me.” You slow your movements, hand loosening around his cock causing his smile to falter. “Where do you need me?” You curse him. “You fucking know where.” You glare at him before you lie yourself down, arms crossing over your bare chest, sick of how ridiculously needy you were that you would put up with this childishness for the sake of another orgasm.

“How can I know I’m right if you don’t tell me?” His fingers have moved to your hip as he lay on his side, watching you closely, walking his fingers over your scorching hot skin. “Playing games now baby?” You pout towards him in a final attempt to win him over. You could just kill him for giving you as much of a fight as you did him. The two of you too stubborn for your own good.

“Where do you want me?” He asks again, voice shifting, dripping with a power that had you weak. “Same place I’ve always wanted you.” You soften your tone to reel him in and for a moment he believes he’ll never win this fight. Then you speak again. “My pussy, need you inside me, please Lu, please baby, waited so long.” You plead for your life. His cock is actually hurting it’s so fucking tight and hard right now. “Your pussy?” He offers as a question, and you hardly notice it until he speaks again.

His hand slips between your legs, swiping his index finger through the hot, sticky mess made between your thighs. “You think this is yours?” He continues to pry. “It’s not yours babe.” You open your mouth to ask what he’s alluding to, but he silences you, slipping a finger into your hot cunt, you clamping down on him immediately. “Not yours baby, your pussy’s fucking mine.” The noise you made was unholy but the look he gave you even more so. “See,” he coos, “you know it too, bucking up into my hand like that, such a good girl for me.” Unsurprisingly to you, that simple term of endearment, that affectionate little name, is the straw that broke the camel’s back. Any morsel of self-respect you’d ever had left was fucking desecrated. “Spread your legs for me angel.”

[moonctzeny]

Baby

au+trope+prompt game: college!au Jaehyun + fake dating + it’s just so hard not to fall in love with you

pairing: jung jaehyun x fem!reader x asshole!yuta

other members as background characters: yuta, mark, johnny, jungwoo

genre: angst, smut

word count: 9,124

warnings: abusive relationship, toxic behaviour

summary: “When Yuta breaks your heart for the millionth time, you meet Jaehyun, freshly broken up and looking for revenge. You decide to start fake dating to get back on your exes, but your plan takes an unexpected turn. You fall in love.”

a/n: I really don’t like putting yuta in a negative light like that it’s just for the fic’s sake! also I literally used the name Naeun as Jaehyun’s ex because I think it’s SUCH a pretty name, NO correlation whatsoever to any korean celebrity named naeun!

_____________________________________

You knew it was wrong.

Looking through your boyfriend’s, Yuta’s, phone while he took a shower, was the arguably the tackiest thing you have ever done.

He was always distant lately, only seeming to make time for a booty call, and at first, you blamed your hectic schedule. Your major was demanding, to say the least, so when Yuta suggested that you replace your dates with some “quality time” at his dorm, you had no objections. You didn’t know that he also meant ignoring your calls, canceling on you at the last minute to meet up with his frat brothers, and keeping your relationship strictly between four walls and two naked bodies.

The thought of him meaning more to you than you meant for him ate you away. It creeped in your mind while you heard the water running from your shower, and lead your fingertips to tap in the password of his phone.

Opening his messaging app, you recognize his best friends’ icons in a group chat consisting of his frat members. You scrolled up, ignoring the latest massages regarding a party that the frat would be throwing in two weeks. You started to feel guilty, not exactly sure what you were looking for, when you saw your name at the screen.

m0rklee[00:10]: @yutassanhyung, i saw your girl today at the supermarket! why didn’t you tell her about the party next Sunday?

you[00:12]: what girl lol  

m0rklee[00:13]: y/n?? i thought you guys were together?

you[00:12]: nahh

fairyteil[00:15]: eyy @yutassan if you’re done with her i know a couple guys who wanna hit it too

you[00:16]: be my guest haha

you[00:16]: don’t get me wrong she was bad when we met but shit is getting kinda stale

tenoutoften[00:17]: aren’t you on your way to her place lol

you[00:17]: hey hey pussy is pussy

Was that all you were to him? Pussy?

Yuta called you special, he called you yours. He didn’t like it when you were talking to other guys. He ripped your lingerie set because he didn’t want anyone else to ever see you in it but him. And then he dared to go around and call you a fling?

You heard the water stop running and knew you didn’t have much time until you had to face him, the thought alone making you sick.

You didn’t bother to lock his phone again, leaving the chat that made you so upset open. Grabbing your keys and a jacket, you left your place and hoped that Yuta would get the message and get the fuck out of there before you came back.

Your legs walked on their own accord, your memory leading you to the only place where you knew you’d find any sort of comfort. When Johnny opened his door, tears were already streaming down your face. He took the open tequila bottle you were holding and pulled you in for a hug. He smelled like weed and beer, and after hearing the “Is that the pizzas?”, you realized that your best friend wasn’t alone.

You quickly wiped your cheeks and fixed your sex hair that Yuta messed up, trying your best to look presentable. Johnny put a hand on your back and lead you to his living room. Jungwoo, your and Johnny’s friend from high school, was sprawled out on the couch, a little disappointed after seeing that you were, in fact, not the pizzas. Next to him, drowning in a bean bag, was Jaehyun. You didn’t really know him very well other than the fact that he took the same major as Johnny, so you felt a little insecure looking as messy as you did right now. His eyes were red, just like the other men’s, but you could swear his eyelashes looked a little damp.

Jungwoo’s words were muffled by the barbecue chips he was munching away.

“Yoo y/n, I didn’t know you were coming!”

You placed the tequila bottle on the table,

“Yeah, Woo, figured you wanted something to drink”

“Move” Johnny murmured to him, but he only stretched and sighed dramatically, shoving a handful of chips in his mouth.

“I don’t need a drink I need food. I’m hungry and I got the munchies”

Johnny grabbed his ankle and with impressive ease, dragged Jungwoo to the floor. The taller man sat on the couch, on the side next to Jaehyun and you followed his lead, letting a grumpy Jungwoo lean his head on your knees. Taking the lit joint from Jaehyun’s fingers, Johnny turned his attention back on you.

“So tell me chica” he said and took a hit, “who do I have to beat up?”

“Yuta”, you grumbled, “I’m ghosting this motherfucker”

You felt the vibrations on your lap when Jungwoo started talking.

“What did he do this time? Didn’t I tell you not to get involved with stupid frat boys?”

You started petting his hair, the softness comforting under your fingers.

“Apparently I’m not ‘bad’ enough for him anymore” you replied, throwing air quotes and rolling your eyes.

“Whaaaaat” Johnny drew out with a cough after taking a particularly deep inhale from the blunt, “you’re like the baddest bitch I know. Even now, that you’re all puffy from crying and smell like his dick”

You hit his shoulder, almost dropping the joint he was passing to Jungwoo, embarrassed that he would say something like that in front of Jaehyun, an almost stranger to you.

“I don’t know, man” Jungwoo started, and you could hear the smile on his face, “when girls cry it’s kinda hot”

You were contemplating how many hairs of his you should rip out of his scalp when the telecom rang, assumably by the pizza delivery man.

“Saved by the bell”, Jungwoo muttered to himself and got up quickly to open the door. While the youngest paid for the pizzas, Johnny held your hand, a bit guilty for his words earlier. He had a mischievous smirk and kept shifting his gaze between you and Jaehyun, who had been sitting in silence ever since you got here, occasionally smiling at your friends’ teasing.

“Fuck Yuta, man. You should find a nice guy to treat you well and fuck you even better y’know?” he started, and patted his buddy roughly on the back, “Like Jae over here”

Your eyes widened and you instinctively glanced at Jaehyun, ears a deep red and a matching shocked look on his face.

You cleared your throat, “No offense, but, like, aren’t you practically married to this girl-uhhh what’s her name again? Naeun?”

To someone who wasn’t listening to your conversation, it must have seemed like you tased him, or brought up a painful childhood memory, or asked him if he’d be willing to lick a lemon after washing his teeth. He looked away from you, and turned his attention to his nails, ripping a cuticle off in deep concentration. His voice was so quiet when he finally spoke, that you barely heard him. “I broke up with her, actually.. Like, three hours ago”

Guilt washed over you in an instant, not knowing that you scratched a wound so fresh. You wanted to apologize and even ask if you should leave the three alone, when Jungwoo grabbed the Tequila bottle and crashed on the couch clumsily between you and Johnny.

“Fuck love!”, he yelled, “let’s get wasted”

_______________________________________

You stared at the empty José Cuervo bottle rising up and down Johnny’s chest with every one of his snores. He was laid out on his couch, his tall height taking up all of its entirety, leaving Jungwoo passed out on the floor. Jaehyun followed your eyes and smiled at Johnny’s sleeping face, mouth open and tongue spilling out.

After the 4th shot, you found out that Jae was a pretty decent guy. He let you rant about Yuta while your friends were busy trying to see who could eat a large pizza by himself the fastest. You told him all about how you never went on dates anymore, how you looked through his phone after having sex, and the text conversation you found earlier tonight. He listened carefully, without judgment, and after smoking some more of Johnny’s staff, he opened up to you about his relationship with Naeun.

Or rather, how he found her fucking his roommate on his own bed.

You always thought of these two as what they call a ‘power couple’. Valedictorian meets basketball all-star, they graduate and have beautiful babies, while all the rest of us mortals can do is admire from afar. You would have never guessed the toxicity, constant cheating and manipulation that Jaehyun was recounting. You bonded over stories about cancelled dates, emotional distancing and feeling like you’re always the one giving but never receiving. If you were being honest, you would have never expected such emotional depth from a college point guard. He drew you in with his gentleness, and you noticed how different he was from Yuta, who engulfed you with his intensity. You also hated how even now, you were still thinking of him.

Just then, you got his third message for the night:

asshole [03:35]:come on baby don’t ignore mee, me and the guys were just messing around

you [03:36]:stop texting me

you [03:38]:we’re done

You locked your phone, upset and angry, and felt Jaehyun sigh.

“I know I’m falling for her stupid games, but I just want to get back at her y’know? Show her what she’s missing, that type of thing”

You knew exactly what he was talking about. During the past hours, you weighted all the possible ways you could make Yuta regret ever taking you for granted.

He was so charming that he could get laid with anyone he wanted (and probably did, even when you were ‘dating’), but even after what he said to Taeil, you knew that he hated the thought of anyone else fucking you. He wanted your body to be his, without having to deal with the commitment that came with that privilege.

You thought about fucking one of his frat buddies, but that would get you from being called ‘Yuta’s girl’ to ‘ΘΨΩ’s cumslut’, and your self esteem couldn’t take that blow.

Jaehyun’s deep voice interrupted your train of thoughts.

“Maybe Johnny’s right”

“Huh? ”

“You should date me”

You blinked at him twice, not knowing what to reply when you saw him wave his hands frantically in front of his face.

“Fake date me! I mean, you should fake date me. Sorry, the weed’s got me a little fucked up”

At first, the idea seemed crazy. Yes, it would make Yuta furious that you were supposedly fucking one of the hottest guys on campus. Yes, Naeun would get mad that she didn’t have Jaehyun’s constant attention that she so craved anymore. Yes, you two might have revealed your deepest insecurities, opened up your hearts to each other all while sharing a bottle of alcohol, but you had never hanged out together without Johnny being present. You had barely hanged out together, period. But wouldn’t that make it even more believable? Two of Johnny’s best friends break up at the same time, meet up at his house and inevitably end up together. You didn’t share the same major, so you wouldn’t have to put up the act too much at college. And with social media, making a fake relationship believable was easier than ever.

asshole [03:42]: fuck you. you think you can find someone better than me?

Drunk and lacking logic, you agreed on the plan, and gave him your number. You had just finished creating the contact on his phone when he suddenly got up and rushed to the bathroom, facing the consequences of the tequila and weed combo.

You passed out on Johnny’s bean bag and when you woke up on Sunday afternoon, Jaehyun was gone.

———————————————————

You didn’t expect him to text you on Monday, thinking that it was intoxication that gave him the idea of fake dating and made it look brilliant. So when he gave you the address to his dorm, to further discuss your ‘operation’ you were surprised, but determined to succeed.

The plan was simple. You would start tagging each other on your instagram stories, to show people that you were spending time alone. He agreed to pick you up from your lecture on Wednesday, your classes coinciding on neighboring buildings. And for you final act, he’d come with you as your plus one for the frat’s party next Sunday. Mark was nice enough to invite you, after Yuta ‘forgot’ to do it instead, and Naeun, being Taeil’s sister, wouldn’t miss it for the world. It was the perfect opportunity to flaunt your new relationship, all while being on the opponent’s part of the field.

You started off innocently enough. After you and Jaehyun finished brainstorming ideas about the ‘operation’ as he insisted on calling it, he suggested you stay for a movie and some Chinese food. His dorm was cozy, a little messy, maybe, but it fitted his boyish charm. He had a nice collection of vinyls, stating that his favorite one was I. by Cigarettes After Sex. You were a bit taken aback by his love for dreampop and rnb, but the more you got to know him, the more it seemed to fit him nicely. On the wall next to his bed hung a display full of all of his sport trophies. He was known for his basketball skills, but you also saw medals for soccer, track, volleyball. Amongst them all was an English certificate and a spelling bee award. You wondered if he ever felt pressure trying to be so perfect all the time.

The movie was terrible, but Jaehyun managed to entertain you by making silly jokes throughout and mocking the actors’ bad acting. It was the first time you ever saw him crack a joke like that and be willing to contort his handsome features. So much better than the dream boy image he was feigning for everyone, but you didn’t know him well enough to tell him. The movie was halfway done when he picked up his phone and opened a camera app through his Instagram.

“Shouldn’t we take a story? Since we’re together anyways?”

You nodded and scooted closer to him. He was a bit hesitant as he positioned the camera to capture your legs that were touching, a scene from the movie playing in the background. It was a cute picture but nothing indicated that the two of you were more than friends. You pressed the X at the top of the screen to discard the picture, and placed his hand on top of your thigh. You turned around just in time to witness his ears turning into a fuschia pink.

“Is that okay?”

He nodded and regained his cool, taking the picture and tagging you with a red heart next to your username.

A couple hours after leaving his place you texted him, asking if Naeun had replied to his story. He said that unfortunately, the only person who batted an eye was Johnny, replying with a “ 👀 👀 👀 “ .

———————————————————

You met up again the next day, at your apartment this time.

He looked nervous being in a place so foreign to him yet so personal to you, so you decided to turn the lights down to help him relax, insisting that you weren’t trying to seduce him or anything. He laughed at your joke but still looked tense, and you thought that maybe he needed some liquid courage to open up.

“Hey Jae. Want a drink?”

It took him 3 beers to finally loosen up and show you his dimpled grin again. You were sitting on the floor, facing each other and feeling comfortable in the ambience of the room. A Spotify playlist was playing in the background so it would fill up the awkward silence but wouldn’t distract you from your conversation.

“Wait wait wait. So you sleep without a pillowcase?”

“Yeah, didn’t you notice it when you came to my place yesterday?”

“I thought you forgot to do your laundry!”

His laugh was resonating and deep and manly. It made his eyes disappear and his face light up, not that it didn’t anyway - the guy could easily be a skin care ambassador, and you made a mental note to ask him about his moisturizer later.

You followed his gaze to one of your walls. Pictures were filling it up, memories of yourself and your siblings, of your friends from home that you missed, of Johnny and Jungwoo. You felt a little insecure then, comparing them to Jaehyun’s countless medals and awards.

“I’m not good at sports like you, so I have nothing else to hang on my wall”, you laughed awkwardly but he shook his head.

“No, I’m actually jealous of you. Everyone always seems to want to be around you”

“Except Yuta”

“Yuta’s an idiot, then. You are way out of his league anyways.”

You felt yourself turning into a blushing mess and looked for a way to break the awkward silence that followed his comment.

“Wanna share another one?” you asked him, shaking the empty beer bottle on your hand and he nodded. You started getting up when you felt him put a hand on your shoulder and pick up the bottles you had finished up from the table himself. He rinsed them off and put them away to the recycling bag next to your sink, the domesticity of the action making you melt. You watched as he stood on his tiptoes to reach a lager from the top drawer of your fridge, revealing a defined set of abs and two cute dimples on his lower back. You ripped your eyes away immediately, like you were caught doing something illegal, and he walked back to his spot next to you. As soon as he sat down, he groaned and threw his head back.

“The bottle opener was on the kitchen counter. I forgot to bring it”

Without saying a word, you took the beer from his hand and placed the cap in your mouth. It was a party trick that your older brother had taught you when you were 15. After finding a stable indentation on your teeth, you manipulate the rough edges of the cap and pop the beer open. You return the glass bottle to Jaehyun, who’s looking at you incredulously.

“Fuck me, that was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen”, he breaths out and you feel your whole face burning up. You opened and closed your mouth a couple times, trying to register that someone like him thought you were hot, when you felt your phone vibrating, saving you from further embarrassing yourself.

Johnny’s picture lit up on the screen and you mentally prepared yourself for the following conversation. You and Jaehyun decided against telling anyone about your relationship being fake. It’s not that your best friend wasn’t reliable, but if you told Johnny you had to tell Jungwoo, and Jungwoo doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut to save his life.

“John, what’s up”

“Eyy chica what took you so long?”

You looked at Jaehyun who had leaned back against the pillow of your couch and sipped on the beer you would share.

“Yeah sorry I was a little busy”

“Busy.. with Jaehyun?”

You tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, but you were still trying to recover from the previous incident.

“Yeah, he’s here”

“Ohh I see, little y/n can’t get enough of Jae’s slam dunks.. I bet he’s teaching you the bank shot, the opening tip, the double dribble, the fast break, the palming.. he sure is great for a rebound-”

You interrupted him, growing tired of his nonstop basketball innuendos.

“Why did you call me Johnny?”

“Damn, sorry, I just wanted to ask you what you wanted for your birthday”

Shit, you forgot about that.

“Just get me whatever, I don’t care, you know how much I hate celebrating anyways. I’ll get the cake myself, so no surprises”

Jaehyun lifted his brows and waited patiently for your call to end before asking:

“What are we celebrating?”

“It’s my birthday on Friday. I’m going to invite a couple people over and Johnny’s already stressing over it. Don’t worry, though, you don’t have to come”

“How can your boyfriend not come to your birthday party?”

You laugh bitterly.

“Well, it’s not like Yuta came last year. To any of my parties for that matter”

“Well, he must have made up to you somehow? Got you a very special gift or something?”

“If you count eating me out as a gift then yes. It was very rare indeed.”

You took the beer from him and took a sip yourself. You noticed he had his eyes glued on his phone, his expression gloomy.

“Is everything okay?”

He snapped out of it at the sound of your voice and turned his phone screen towards you.

It was Naeun, or rather a post on her instagram account. She had her tongue out in the picture, hugging two guys that were unfamiliar to you. You read the caption.

“One day the loser will realize that the diamond he thinks he’s playing with is actually a rock”

Jaehyun mumbled an apology. I guess he thought that you’d be a bit offended being called a ‘rock’ but you were actually feeling satisfied. Your fake relationship had managed to get her attention, and for Jaehyun’s sake, you wanted to rub it in her face even more.

You opened your camera app and placed your phone on the table next to you. He figured what you wanted to do so he sat up straighter and motioned to his lap. You’d normally be a bit hesitant to sit on him if it wasn’t for the two beers and your determination, that had fired up again due to Naeun’s words. Leaning back a bit, you set up the self-timer and he put his hands on your hips to stabilize you.

You had agreed on turning up the boldness of your pics, so you placed your hands on his neck, right under his jawline. He snaked his hands upwards and wrapped them around your waist, bringing you even closer. His eyes were glossy from the alcohol and he looked at you with an impressive calmness, considering the intimacy of your position. It seemed like he was waiting for something, the ticking of the timer urging you to take things a bit further and he nodded, as if giving you permission. You leaned in, and pressed your lips on the corner of his mouth, like you couldn’t decide on kissing his dimple or his lips.

After hearing the click you climbed down from his lap, and prayed that the photo came out in focus. Your heart couldn’t handle another retake. From the angle of the camera, it seemed like you were a couple in love, sharing a sweet kiss on the lips. You added a cute caption and tagged him, so he could repost it later on his own account.

It hadn’t been 5 minutes before your phone lit up.

yutassan replied to your story: what the fuck?

You smiled triumphantly and showed the message to Jaehyun, who laughed at Yuta’s reaction. He gave you an excuse about some forgotten homework and how it was late and he has to go.

“Remember, I’ll pick you up tomorrow from class, so wait for me”

After he left, you thought about your almost kiss and the dimples of his back for way too long.

——————————————————

You exited the classroom with a growing headache. The lesson today seemed extra boring, and all you could think about was that you had to convince Johnny that it really took just three days for Jaehyun and you to officially start dating.

As promised, the pair waited for you at the end of the hallway, your best friend looking at the two of you expectantly. Jaehyun was a good actor, you thought, as he approached you before you got to reach them, meeting you halfway.

“Hey baby”, he smiled at you, the nickname turning your legs into jelly. He wrapped one arm around your shoulder, and kissed your cheek sweetly, making Johnny coo at the two of you.

“I can’t believe that I hadn’t thought about pairing the two of you together earlier”

He must have thought that the awkward body language and the silence that fell was a sign from you and Jae to leave you alone. He excused himself, saying something about “letting the young lovers swim in the pool of their love”, or something along those lines.

The two of you walked together, following the road to your next class that was just a few buildings away.

“So how has class, baby

You rolled your eyes at the insistent nickname, “you know that Johnny left us, like, 5 minutes ago, right?”

“Let me enjoy itttt”, he whined, “Naeun never let me call her anything like that”

“Why is that?”

He looked at his feet moving and frowned in thought.

“She said I was embarrassing her in front of her friends. I think she just didn’t want other guys to know that we were together”

You felt a pang of sadness and you realized that it always followed any conversation you two had about his and Naeun’s relationship.

“Well then if you call me baby, I can will you honey. Or sugarplum. Or pumpkin pie. Or-“

It was startling how fast Jaehyun pressed you up against the wall. In just a moment, he had put his hands on your waist, burying his face in your hair. You shivered when you felt his breath as he spoke against your neck.

“Yuta’s watching us”

All you could do was stay frozen in place, and listen with wide eyes.

“Huh?”

He chuckled at your response, but he replied patiently.

“Yuta? Your ex? He’s right over there. Figured we should give him a show”

And with that, he kissed you. Everything was happening so fast, that you could barely comprehend that Jaehyun, that was a stranger in the past weekend, was now making out with you at the hall, for everyone to see.

And that included Yuta.

You opened your eyes in the kiss and searched for him, spotting him with his frat buddies. His eyes were piercing through the two of you, and you saw Mark holding him back by the shoulder. The look on his face was priceless.

Jaehyun pulled back and you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Thank you”, you whispered, “but I need one more favor”

“Anything baby”

“Slap my ass as we walk away”

Sure enough, Jaehyun took your hand and you continue your walk, momentarily stopping to make eye contact with Yuta and give you a little spank. It was something your ex loved doing on the rare occasion you two met up outside of your dorms, no matter how public the setting. You heard Mark yelling something at his ‘Yuta hyung’ and that’s when you thought, your plan just might work.

———————————————————

You didn’t see Jaehyun until your birthday. It was just a small get together, but your place was starting to get a bit crowded as time went by. Johnny had been suffocating you with hugs ever since he got there, reminiscing the time you met as teenagers and calling you an old lady. Jungwoo on the other hand couldn’t stop asking about Jaehyun. You kept making excuses about how he didn’t feel so good today and might not make it. You didn’t expect him to come, of course. Just because you had agreed on fake dating, it didn’t mean that he had any obligation to be present in all your social events. The loving message he left on your Facebook wall was enough to fulfill the purpose of your current relationship.

That is why, when you heard a knock on your door, the last thing you thought you’d see was Jaehyun holding a dozen of red roses.

“Happy birthday baby!”, he exclaimed and gave you a kiss on your cheek,

“I asked Johnny about your favorite flowers, hope we got it right”

Feeling speechless, you took the roses from his hands and inhaled their sweet scent. You were dumbfounded that he actually came, and even brought you a present. You thanked him for coming, and he repeated the same thing he said back at your place, “how could your boyfriend miss your birthday?”

And even you were fooled, momentarily, when he held you by the waist later that night and sang you happy birthday. You blew your candles and all you could wish for was a love like the one Jaehyun was faking for you. He helped you clean up, and was more than willing to socialize with all of your friends. You admired how well he fitted in your social circle, already friends with Johnny and Jungwoo, yet so nice that even people he met for the first time came to love him.

You were sitting on one of your dining chairs, your two best friends already passed out on your couch. They had brought two bottles of vodka and your favorite tequila, but you weren’t in the mood to drink. You couldn’t help but remember the time when you practically begged Yuta to be there on your special day and he still missed it. You were scared that if you got a little drunk you would text him, or worse, call him, his sweet talk bringing you back to him all over again.

The only sounds resonating through your apartment were Jungwoo’s light snoring and a chill Spotify playlist playing from your laptop. A familiar tune came on, and you recognized it being ‘Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby’ by Cigarettes After Sex. You immediately looked at Jaehyun, the only conscious person still at the party other than you. He threw his head back and sighed contently at the sound of his favorite song. You saw him get up and walk over to you, reaching his hand out.

“Will the birthday girl spare me a dance?”

You slow danced in the middle of your living room, ending the night in the sweetest note. Jaehyun always felt so stable, so safe. You wondered how he got himself tangled up in that mess of a relationship with Naeun. Maybe it was the way he treated people with such kindness, void of any prejudice. Maybe he was a little bit like you, and didn’t think he deserved much.

“She’s crazy” you mumble against his chest, his confused hum making you feel the vibration on your face.

“Naeun. She’s crazy for ever cheating on someone like you. You’re perfect”

“I have my flaws”

You thought about how competitive he got when you played beer pong earlier, how his ears get red when he gets embarrassed, how he shows his dimpled smile in apology when he’s late. His love for drinking and how it makes him more honest, his trust in people that must have gotten him hurt many, many times. You liked them all, you loved them all.

“It’s just so hard for someone not to fall in love with you”

———————————————————

And that’s how the days went by with Jaehyun. You met up almost every day, in restaurants for a nice dinner, or hanging out in each other’s dorm. It was so much fun getting to spend time with him, that you sometimes forgot to make your meetup public on social media. You helped him with his math homework, and he helped you dye your hair. You even went to his basketball game, and he dedicated one of his goals to you, following every teen movie cliche.

You felt a little sad how it was all falling to an end. The plan was successful, for the most part. Naeun had asked Jaehyun to meet up later tonight, talk things through. You wished he wouldn’t go back to her, but you knew you had no real say in his love life. Yuta saw that he didn’t own you, that there were people like Jaehyun that were willing to give you what your ex had promised you, but wasn’t able to give. Well, not really, you reminded yourself. Jaehyun was faking it. You shouldn’t let yourself get lost in the fairytale, even if the past two weeks were some of the best of your life. He had proposed that you claim that the reason for your upcoming ‘breakup’ was differences in character, but you decided to stay friends. You were happy that at least, in the midst of all this mess, you met someone like him.

It was Saturday, a day before the frat party. You had invited him over, celebrate the end of your relationship with some pizza and a movie.

The movie was boring, but Jaehyun made you laugh. It reminded you of the first time the two of you met up alone. You had gotten comfy on your couch, sharing popcorn when you noticed. A huge bruise was peeking out from Jaehyun’s tank top, the dark color contrasting against his porcelain skin.

“What the hell?!” you exclaimed and scooted closer to him. You rushed your hands on his chest, your fingers pushing the fabric aside to examine the bruise. You found even more bruises scattered around it, accompanied with scratches that stretched longer than his top could.

“It was from the game the other day”, he tried to excuse, but you weren’t buying it.

“Jae, I was there. You played basketball, not WWE. Now who did this to you?”

He sighed and fidgeted with a loose string on his jeans, clearly uncomfortable.

“When I caught Naeun with my roommate, and broke up with her, she didn’t take it very well”

You kept staring at him, urging him to continue.

“She started calling me names, saying that she’s the best I’ll ever have. That I’m worthless without her, just a social climber trying to mooch off of her popularity”

He motioned on his torso, “When I kicked her out of my place, this happened”

“Is that the first time she acted violent?”

He shook his head. “Pretty much every time she didn’t get her way”

“Jae”, you started, placing your hands on top of his “this is abuse. Have you ever talked to anyone about it?”

“It’s- it’s nothing. It’s embarrassing”

“No it’s not! Abuse is not exclusive to any gender! Guys get affected by it too!”

“It’s embarrassing because I know I can physically stop her but I don’t”

His eyes were starting to water, the sight was heartbreaking. “I sit there frozen and just take it”

“Why?”

“Because part of me believes her. That I’m hopeless without someone like her, dictating what I can and cannot do. I don’t need a shrink to tell me that it’s sick. I have these bruises to remind me”

You were starting to get angry. Angry at that bitch for hurting him, angry at Jaehyun who puts up with it, angry at you, for not seeing past the obvious like everyone else.

“I’m not letting you go see her tonight”

He laughs at you, putting up an invisible barrier between you.

“Not letting me? Wake up y/n! We’re not a real couple, remember? We’re just faking it to satisfy our selfish needs. This whole thing is pointless”

He stormed to the door and you tried to stop him, but he was too riled up for that.

“You’re going to forget about me as soon as this whole circus is over, just like everyone else”

“How can you accuse me like that when you haven’t even let me be a part of your life for real?”

“Because now you’ve met me. Me. With all my ugly, all my fucking bruises. Is it still so hard not to fall in love with me?”

With that, he closed your door with a bang, not even letting you answer that yes, it was impossible not to fall in love with Jung Jaehyun.

———————————————————

History seemed to repeat itself, as you got a text from him the next morning, that you didn’t expect.

jaehyunnie: let’s meet outside of the frat at 10:30, i’ll bring the booze.

And that’s what you did, showing up with your shortest skirt, spotting Jaehyun sitting a few meters from the frat’s entrance. He was laying against the wall, his eyes red, and he gave you the same smile he always did when he saw you, as if your fight yesterday never happened.

“Hey baby” he said and pulled you in for a hug. You couldn’t resist the invitation, and felt yourself melting in his embrace. He smelled like weed and shower gel.

It was nice, how he proclaimed your truce, but you still had to get something off your chest.

“Listen, Jae, about last night, you were right. This whole thing is pointless. We can go home, if you want”

“No baby”, he started and pulled away just enough to look at you. His eyes were droopy but glancing back at you with such care as he moved a strand of hair out of your face, “we’re here to have fun”

You wondered why he was still willing to come to the party with you as your boyfriend. Maybe he wanted to do you one last favor with Yuta, or maybe he wasn’t done indulging in Naeun’s petty games. You looked at his forearms, noticing a few scratches that weren’t there yesterday.

“I’m guessing you and Naeun didn’t make up last night”

He shook his head, and rubbed his hands on your back, keeping your temper down.

“Did you get in a fight?”

“Something like that”

You didn’t know what came over you. It was anger and protectiveness, possessiveness even. You laced your fingers in his locks, letting his head rest against the wall. If Naeun wanted you to speak in her language, then so be it.

You started kissing his neck, on that part on the side that is tender and sensitive. You heard passerbys whistling at the two of you, seemingly getting it on in public. Your licks and sucks weren’t meant for pleasure though, you had a goal and that was to leave a bruise. A statement for Naeun.

You walked in the building hand in hand and followed Jae to the kitchen, where he poured you a drink out of the bottle he brought along. Looking around, you sensed a couple familiar faces staring back at you from the crowd. Taeyong from class, Mark and Ten, and last but not least, Naeun. You downed the drink in one shot and lead Jaehyun to the dance floor.

He put his hands on your hips, and swayed you at the sound of some club song you weren’t familiar with. You ground your ass against him and he hissed, keeping you close against him. A little voice in your head was screaming how this isn’t real, to him this is all pretend, but you ignored it. You wanted her to think that he was yours, that she couldn’t hurt him anymore.

“Why are you doing this to me y/n? Yuta’s not even around”

Jae turned you around, and you put your hands on his shoulders. He looked absolutely breathtaking tonight. You searched his face for a flaw, yet couldn’t find any. You wouldn’t change a single thing on him.

“She’s here” you said venomously.

He buried his face in your neck, inhaling the smell of your hair and trying to ground himself from his high. “I don’t give a fuck about Naeun”

He kissed your ear and your mind fogged up even more.

“She didn’t ask me to meet up yesterday, I did. I wanted to tell her that she and I were done, for good. I thought she wouldn’t be here tonight, but I guess she changed her mind”

What?

“Then why are you here? And why did you let me give you that big ass hickey?”

He stopped nibbling on your ear, and whispered to it instead.

“I’d never miss up on a chance to feel yours”

The bodies dancing next to you, the liquer you had downed a few minutes ago and Jaehyun’s words were getting too much to handle. You felt suffocated, unable to distinguish where reality ended and pretending began with you two.

“Jae, I need a moment, excuse me”

Releasing yourself from his grasp, you made your way to the kitchen. There wasn’t any fresh air, but there was plenty of booze. You poured yourself a shot and as you downed it, you felt another liquid trickling down your top.

You looked up to find out who managed to make this night even worse for you, only to come across the last person you needed to see tonight. Yuta.

“Shit I’m sorry”, he muttered and you avoided eye contact, thinking you’d manage to get away without him realizing it was you. Luck wasn’t on your side tonight.

“Well well well. Long time no see.”

Confidence was dripping from his smile, to his stance, to the way he looked at you. He had dyed his hair your favorite color, his white locks begging to be tugged and played with. To top it all off, he smelled good, so, so good. He smelled dangerous. Comfortable.

You immediately realized that you didn’t have the self control needed to resist him. Turning on your heel, you started to get the hell out of there when he held your wrist, keeping you in place.

“Wait, I’m sorry, you can’t stay like this, you’ll catch a cold”

“Since when are you worried about me?”

“C’mon y/n, please. Come upstairs, I’ll give you a clean shirt. No funny business, I promise”

You hated yourself for this, but you followed him upstairs to his room, like a pray falling right into the hunter’s trap. He closed the door behind him, muting the loud music and you sat on his bed that you were so familiar with. Looking through his closet, he passed you one of his t-shirts, and turned around to let you change with some privacy. It was comical how chivalrous he was acting, considering the unspeakable things you’ve done in here.

“Not like you’ll see something you haven’t seen already”, you murmured and he chuckled, raising his hands.

“Hey, I’m a gentleman. It’s my fault, after all. I have a habit of getting you wet.”

Blushing at his comment, you quickly changed into the clean shirt and felt the bed dip next to you. You thanked him under your breath and started getting up, when you felt him hold you back once again.

“Stay, just a moment. I’ve missed you”

“What do you want?”

“You, baby”

Yuta was the one who said it, but you swore you felt Jaehyun’s voice reverberating through the nickname. Suddenly, it felt like there was no air for you to breathe.

“That’s not happening, Yuta. I’m with Jaehyun now”

He scoffed, “Jaehyun? Naeun’s puppy? Come on now, we both know you can do better than that”

“Don’t talk about him like that”, you bite back, but he doesn’t budge.

“What kind of boyfriend leaves his girl alone in a party like this?” He grips your chin, making you stare at him face to face, impossibly close. “Look at you. Every single guy in this party wants to fuck you. You expect me to be ok with this?”

Yuta lets his other hand glide on your knee, moving up to your thigh slowly. He smiled at how easy it was to focus on him.

“Do you remember how I made you feel? How I reminded you that you’re mine? You were moaning so loud, Mark thought you’d pass out. You loved it.”

You wanted to scream, tell him that this was the past you, that you couldn’t take going back to him once again and get your heart broken one more time, but you felt helpless around him. The warm feeling was only temporary, it would soon evaporate when you face the fact that to him, you are nothing but a play toy, a possession.

And that’s when Jaehyun barged in through the door. His eyes moved frantically from Yuta’s hands on your thighs, to his band tee you wore, to your discarded top on the floor. He quickly turned red, the color spreading from his neck to his face, then landing on his ears.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing with my girlfriend?”

You instantly got up, following his thought sequence.

“It’s not what it looks like! He spilled his drink on me and gave me a clean shirt and..and..”

“And you decided to sit on his lap to thank him?”, he mocked you and Yuta laughed.

“Calm down, dude. I didn’t make her do anything. Besides, it’s not the first time y/n found her way over here after some disappointing dick”

Jaehyun grabbed him by the collar and pulled him up from the bed, forcing him to stand and face him. You moved between the two, trying to stop the catastrophe that was about to happen. Jae might have more muscle power than Yuta, but if the whole frat ganged up on him he would have to leave this place in a stretcher.

“Jaehyun please, let’s just go. Baby, please”

The nickname was the only thing that brought him out of his rage and made him listen to you. He let go of Yuta and took your hand, dragging you out of the room.

You were two hallways down when you pulled away, forcing him to stop.

“Why did you have to get so mad?”

“Why the fuck did you go back to him?”

“I didn’t! It was just.. so hard for me to tell him no”

You felt your eyes water with how pathetic you sounded. Jaehyun rubbed his hands over his face, groaning in frustration.

“Don’t you understand how much it fucking hurts? To see you with that guy that treats you like shit when I’m right here, willing to give you everything? When I’m in love with you?”

You couldn’t process what he said because in a moment, his mouth was on yours. The kiss was so different than the one you shared at the hallway of your campus. It was passionate, it was rough, and this time, he monopolized your attention. His lips were determined to bruise into yours, leaving you breathless and causing your back to fall against a wall. It was crowded around you, eyes prying into your intimate moment but to you, the only person around was Jaehyun.

“You smell like him”, he growled, sucking on the tender spot under your ear, “makes me wanna fuck his scent off of you”

That was all you needed to hear. You led him to the frat’s guest room, knowing that Taeil always kept a spare key in the lamp next to the door. Unlocking the door seemed like a tour de force with Jaehyun leaving open mouthed kisses on your neck, but you finally managed to stumble inside. You locked the door behind you, continuing your heated kiss, hands roaming around each other’s body.

He was taller than you, so when you felt him grab your ass with such eagerness, you almost lifted off the ground. You palmed him through his jeans, the roughness of his hard on making your panties stick from wetness just a bit more.

“I want to taste you” you managed through kisses, but he just unzipped your skirt as a response, pulling it to the floor in one hasty move. Petting your clit through your underwear, a shiver ran down your spine, spreading goosebumps all over your arms and legs.

“I don’t think I have the patience for that”

He walked you backwards towards the guest bed, taking his pants and shirt off along the way. You sat on the edge of it and admired his godly proportions, when you took notice of the bruises and scratches that led to your fight on Saturday. Suddenly feeling the need to slow down, you started leaving kisses over each and every one of them. You wanted him to trust you, give in to you completely. He had his flaws just like he said, but you wanted all of him. And you wanted him now.

“I need you, now”, you voiced your thoughts and helped him take off his boxers, revealing his hard cock. He was thick and decently long, making your mouth water and your pussy clench.

Towering on top of you, he removed your panties that were embarrassingly damp at this point, and by his smirk, you knew he noticed.

Jaehyun bent your legs next to your torso, making you expose all of you. He licked his lips as he dove into your lower ones, muttering praises about your “pretty pussy”, turning you impossibly wet.

Jung Jaehyun never disappoints, you thought, because the moment you felt the first lap over your sensitive bud, you got a taste of heaven. He alternated between licking and sucking over the spot that turned you into putty against him. You were already unbearably turned on at this point, and the changing pace of his tongue made you lose your mind.

Your pants and moans only seemed to urge him on, and after a few minutes of his careful treatment you felt yourself getting close. He must have sensed it, because when you grabbed the bedpost in an effort to stop shaking, he stood on his knees, and reached for a condom in his wallet.

You didn’t have time to complain about the denial of your orgasm, and started taking Yuta’s shirt off, when he grabbed your hands and placed them back on their previous position on the headboard.

“Don’t”, he said sternly as he lined himself up your entrance, “I want to fuck you in his shirt”

There was no time to think about whether his request was healthy or not, because when you felt him stretch you out, the only thing on your mind was him and his dick.

You let out a deep moan and he took it as a sign to screw himself deeper inside you. Your pussy gushed uncontrollably, filling the room with the lewd sounds of skin slapping against skin. You unlaced your fingers and ran them down his back, ghosting them over the dimples that had affected you so much.

Jaehyun lowered himself, letting his chest touch yours, and you could feel his abs contracting over the fabric of Yuta’s shirt.

“I bet he’s never eaten you out like that, yeah?”

“N-no, never, ahh”

He sat up again, putting your legs over his shoulders and lifted your butt off the mattress, gripping your hips to steady himself before continuing his incredible pace.

“You’re mine, aren’t you baby? Mine to give you everything.”

The position felt divine. He was hitting it incredibly deep, reaching the spot that had you moaning so loud you were thankful for the unbearably loud music of the party. You were sure his fingers would leave a mark over your hipbones but you didn’t care, the pain only accentuating the warm feeling in your belly.

“J-Jae don’t stop - fuck don’t stop I’m gonna cum”

He leaned over, grabbing your face that was contorting in pleasure.

“Look at me when you cum for me”, he demanded, and when you rolled your eyes behind your head, letting go, he let out his first moan for the night.

He kissed your lips sweetly, helping you ride out your high.

“You’re so beautiful, my baby. So, so beautiful”, he praised and you submitted fully to him. He turned your body around, positioning you in all fours, and you wondered where the gentle boy you met at Johnny’s house went. His dick buried in you once again, spreading your juices around and the sensitivity of your previous orgasm made you aware of every single inch.

“So fucking tight”

Jaehyun didn’t go easy on you. He saw how much you liked it, how you were pushing your ass against his cock. He pounded in and out of you with the intention of fucking your thoughts out, and that’s just what he did. When the feeling got too much, and making any sort of noise seemed like a feat, you felt him push your hair back, and start biting on your neck, most definitely leaving a mark.

“I’m gonna cum. Fuck, I’m gonna cum”, he muttered, his voice wavering and you felt him release in the condom inside you.

It took a while for the both of you to regain your breaths. Jaehyun’s chest was heaving up and down as you rest your head on top of it, not brave enough to break the silence.

“I’m sorry”, he finally said and started petting your hair lovingly.

“About what?”

The bed was foreign and small but you both stayed still, wanting to bask a little more in the peacefulness of the moment.

“About getting so possessive, and saying all these things out of jealousy. I acted just like him..”

You kissed his left peck, listening to his heart that was starting to beat in a faster pace.

“Jaehyun, you’re nothing like Yuta. I get how you felt, I feel the same way when I think about you with Naeun”

He took your hand that was resting on his abs and planted a kiss on your palm. Your heart did a flip and you were pressed so close together, he sure must have felt it.

“I should have told you about her sooner. About the fights and how I let her go because of you. I was in denial about my feelings for you because-“

He stopped mid sentence, wary of the way his words would come off to you. Jaehyun was a proud man, but he opened up his heart tonight, admitting he was in love with you. He had already exposed so much of himself that you gave him the time he needed to organize his thoughts.

“Because I was insecure. That you would never like someone like me. That Naeun was right. That you were only interested in playing pretend with me and didn’t mean any of the things you said, and I let myself get carried away in a lie”

You and Jaehyun were two lost souls, trying to break free from the constraints your insecurities built up for you. You didn’t have to succumb to your masochistic tendencies anymore, wasting your time in heartless lovers because now you found him and he found you. Both unable to see any value in themselves, but more that willing to treasure the other. And that was enough for you.

“I’d be honored to be loved by someone like you. Baby.”

[funtarou]

Bully || Angst End || Suna x Reader

Bully! Suna Rintarou x Extremely Timid! Reader headcanons, part 2

Me questioning why people like this bullying trope. Are ya'll okay? Do ya'll need a hug?

So the popular demand is fluff ending. Idk what do people expect from a fluff ending after Suna has been acting so mean 🤔

Am gonna make two ending. But this one is the angst one. I'm gonna post the fluff continuation another time because I don't like making this post too long and making people wait too long✋

Story Warning: Comfort/Hurt ig, angst, mentioned past action of bullying, Suna kinda mean and dense, crybaby/nervous reader, curse words, small violence session, a lousy attempt at a quick redemption of a bully idk lol

Writing Warning: Like always, my English and Grammar aren't the best, sometimes I Made spelling mistakes, and I didn't proof-read my stuff enough Times to spot the autocorrect my keyboard put without me realizing it.

Read Part 1 Here

After a few more days of arguing with his ego and his heart, Suna decides to apologize. Even if you don't accept his apology, atleast he'll make some percentage of the guilt calmed down because he atleast attempt to say sorry.

His original plan that he cooked in his mind was simply walking up to you when you're alone and say sorry, before walking away again.

Well, that was the original plan.

He attempted that plan once, but when he's only a few more steps away from you, his legs feels like it turned to jello and his heart started to beat faster. He asumes it was the sudden pump of adrenaline from his guilt. But that uncomfortable feeling made him repulsively act on habbit and before he knew it, his hand was already pushing the back of your head down. Like he usually does when he passed by you in the hallways.

Your head was pushed down rather roughly and you almost fall from the sudden impact. When you looked up, you're meet with the person who you were glad stop bothering for awhile, until now that is.

When he realized what he had done, he quickly pulled back his hand and stared down at your figure, your head still hangs low in a pathetic attempt to hide yourself from him.

He was about to say something when one of your friend appeared and Excuse you from him before dragging you out of his sight.

Conclusion, he somehow became pathetic at self-control when being around you.

It pissed him off, and Made him remember why he hates when you're around. You always Made his blood boils and heart beat faster than before, and the feeling just went up to his face sometimes, making it look slightly redder. It's anger, it's hate, atleast that's what he's been telling himself. Because what else could the feeling be other than that. The only other times he feels like that is after practice or doing something that took his breath away, like sport.

That doesn't mean he's backing down from his own decision on apologizing one way or another. And now he started to take what Atsumu once said more seriously

"Where ya headin, Suna?"

Atsumu asked, seeing as Suna didn't cross the road like he usually do when going home after practice. Instead Suna continues to follow the twins as they turned a corner at the side walk. Ginjima was with them a moment ago until he stopped at a bus station.

"I'm just going to that store near your neightbourhood. Need to buy some stuff."

Suna nonchalantly answers, not even looking straight at the two brothers walking in front of him. His eyes are more focused on his phone and in the stuff he wrote in the notepad app.

"What could a Suna Rintarou buy in a gift and bakery store?"

Atsumu said half-teasingly with a chuckle, but inside he was actually curious and wanted to know the answer. Osamu was the same, waiting for answer even though he's not looking.

"a gift and a cake or something, whatever they sell there."

At first the twins just hummed in reply to the answer. And a moment of silence engulfed the three of them as they continues walking. It didn't took long till they reached the twins house and part ways, Suna still continuing his walk.

It took till the twins closed their doors before they proceed what Suna answered. And it took them another second to come bursting out of their house and running after Suna. When the middle blocker is in arms reach, the two immidiately cling to him, stopping his steps and almost making the three fall flat on the ground.

"WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING TO DO WITH A GIFT, HUH, SUNA?!"

"IT'S NOT ANYWHERE NEAR MOTHER'S DAY OR FATHER'S DAY AND IT IS SURE NOT CHRISTMAS OR ANYTHIN!"

Suna wish he had kept his mouth shut.

The twins ended up tagging Along in Suna's Shopping journey.

For the most part, Atsumu and Osamu were just window shopping, while Suna is seriously looking at the gifts and it's prize tags while measuring the amount of money he has left.

At the end, Suna decided to buy a pair of earings that's decorated with baby blue fake gems. Not the most expensive gift, but hey, he's still in Highschool and only given allowence once a month from his parents. Along with that, he also buys some chocolate truffles that came with a saying a card. Obviously he's planning to write "I'm sorry" or something in it.

The twins keep bombarding him with annoying questions Along the way back to each other's home. Most content of the questions are just Why did he buy those and for who he bought it. Luckily he could dodge most of the questions by answering vaguely Ir just repeatedly saying "it's whatever" or "non of your business".

Even tho he already got the gifts, he still needs a few days to Made up his mind and control himself. Trying so hard everytime to stop himself from doing something bad to you. It's a habbit at this point to bother you, you know? It's been one of his things everyday without a miss before he decided he wanna apologize. But he really tries okay. He's been talking to his mirror and rehearsing the stuffs he's gonna say, to the point his mom thinks he's gone coo coo.

At some point he thoughs this nervous and guilt-drowned feelings is too much. He's even acting like a lovesick teenager who wanted to confess to their crush but has little to no courage to. It's weird, he's trying to apologize and stop teasing you, not trying to get you to date him. Atleast that's what he said to himself.

Finally, he had found that courage inside of him to face and (try to) talk to you nicely. He feels like he's in a more fresher mood and state, and everything has been going smoothly since he woke up today. He didn't oversleept, the breakfast was his favorite food, the walk to school was calming, the weather is also very friendly, No homework due today and his lunch for once was homemade by his mom. Maybe this good morning vibe Will help him.

He waited till lunch break to go and search for you, drag you to somewhere more quiet and apologize with the gift. He already has the blue print in his mind of how the scenario might go. And he's even ready to vanish from your existence if you refuse his apology.

Lunch break finally arrives. But something didn't go as planned.

"Where are ya goin' Suna?"

Atsumu voice stopped him from going down the stairs, to the first grade's floor.

"... I have business with someone."

Suna answered a little bit hesitant. He only glanced slightly at Atsumu before averting his gaze back down to the staircase. But when he did look back at the staircase, surprisingly Osamu appeared walking up the stairs towards him.

"with who, Suna?"

Osamu asked, his monotone voice somehow sounding more intentionally intimidating than usual.

"Wha- Osamu when did you get there-- And it's non of you two idiot's business okay."

Suna tries to passed by Osamu to walk down the stairs, attempting to just ignore the twins. It's probably just one of their teasings or jokes again.

What he didn't expect though, was Osamu suddenly grabbing his shirt colar and slamming him againts the nearby wall in the middle of the staircase. It took him off-guard and made him cought from the sudden impact that travels through his body. His reflexes Made him gripped Osamu's hands that are still holding him by his colar. Even though Suna is taller than the quiet twin, but the view of Osamu's glare at him from up top wasn't anything pleasant. And for once, Suna's on edge.

"Answer, Suna."

Osamu's voice sounded like when he and Atsumu was in a fight, but more angry than annoyed.

"I- tsk, fine! I was going to see (Y/n), okay? Let me go, man."

Suna grunted, trying to shove Osamu away from him, only to be stopped when Atsumu's the one pushing him back againts the wall by his shoulder.

"And what? Steal her stuff again? Scribble every nasty sylables ya know on her books? Trip her down on her face? What other "jokes" are ya plannin to give her now, huh?!"

Atsumu yelled, the tone of anger clear in his loud voice. His voice also attracted passing students' attention and some stopped to circle around the staircase where the three is having a tense moment.

"-- What are you talking about, Atsumu?"

Suna tries to play it cool, act as if he doesn't know what the twins are talking about. He gave the two his own glare, but that doesn't hide the way his eyebrows curved in a confused manner. How did the two suddenly know? Did you finally decided to snitch on him after he has given you days of break from his rude presence?

"Don't play dumb on us, Suna. Damn, yer one sneaky fucker to be hidin' yer nasty bullying on (Y/n) from us. From everyone in the team. Last time ya trip her and Made her nose and knee bleeds, what now? Push her down the stairs?!"

Atsumu taunts at Suna with a low chuckle, but the smirk he has right now is anything but playful.

"Thank God her friend finally stood up for her and told us about ya. What did ya do all this time, huh?! She was so scared to admit it when we ask her... We even need to search through her room for evidences for some of your nasty acts. Why did she even try to cover up a shitstain like you."

Ah, so that's how. Her friend snitched on him. Damn if only he knew the bitch that blew his cover off. And he was so close from closing and hiding the problem forever with you without outside factors bothering. What a bad timing, he should've done it faster and yet his stupid ego just needs to get in the way.

"Yer lucky she doesn't want us to told on ya to the teachers and her parents. But get this, Suna..."

Osamu finally spoke up again, loosening his grip on Suna's shirt, only to throw a Swift punch across the taller male's face. Suna's head hit the wall behind him, before his body slides down the wall. It took him a few seconds to get his eyes focused again, the impact behind his head from the wall making his head rather disoriented. Osamu is shorter than him, but he was always the physically stronger twins.

"... Don't ever go near her again. Don't ever talk, don't even breath the same air as her. Or you'll pay the same weight as the one you've put her through."

Osamu continues, cracking his knuckles before stepping back for his twin to step in front of Suna. Atsumu didn't say anything as he grabbed Suna's colar once again and threw another punch across the untouched part of his face.

"We're being merciful here, Suna. One punch from each. And just so you know, your position Will be on edge in the team if we decided to tell coach or Kita-san about your attitude."

Atsumu coldly says, letting go of Suna to let his body slump back down. The twins didn't threw him another glance as they went down the stairs, passing through the students crowding the place. No one dares to speak a word to the twins, not when they look this pissed off.

It stings. His face stings and his chest stings. His head feels like it's ringing, and at this point he doesn't know if it's because of the punches or because of hummiliations. People are still just staring at him. Suna Rintarou, who was known to be intimidating to others, who was known for his nonchalant face and scary glare. Now that same Suna Rintarou is sitting in the middle of the staircase, two bruises on his face, feeling hummiliated by the crowds watching.

But there's another sting in his chest beside embarrassement. He cant quiet get what it is. It appears everytime he reply how Osamu warn him from ever going near you. It appears when he imagined being another stranger in your story, a bully that you forgot as time goes by. He though he already try to imagined this kind of thing, he though he was ready to actually be another nobody in your life after he apologize. So why does his eyes feels like it burns after someone else Made it clear to him that he Will not be associated with you in any other way after this.

The hand that was gripping the gift he was going to give you tightens. The gift bag crumbled behind his back, where he had try to hide it from anyone to see ever since he exit his classroom. He's not sure if the treats inside is okay anymore. And he could careless if the earings were still in one piece, or if the earings' box is okay. He wouldn't be able to give it to you anyways. Not with what the twins had say.

A few seconds passed by and a teacher arrived to break down the crowd. The teacher asked of Suna's condition and details of the previous commotion, but Suna were just giving her vague explanation and a "it's not a big deal" excuse. She didn't seem to commentate much, and just excused Suna to go to the infirmary to check on the bruises on his face. It weren't noticeable to him at first, but there are small blood on the side of his lips, where it probably got injured from that punch either Osamu or Atsumu gave.

He walks passed by the students who was watching the scenery before in silence. His head hangs low and he didn't bother to hide the crumbled up bag in his hand anymore. Not like anyone would care, they're too focus on his Messy looking self.

With all his luck going downhill the moment lunch break starts, he wasn't expecting to bumped in to you as he turned a corner. You looked up at him, already stammering your apology. But you stopped midways when you realized, 1) it's Suna and 2) his face looked beat up, two prominent bruises on his face and a faded blood stain on his lips. As if you forgot the person in front of you was your bully, you stood closer to examine his face, worriedness clear on your face and voice.

"Suna-senpai, W-what happened? It looks p-pretty bad. D-did Tsumu and Samu--"

"It's non of your fucking business, bitch."

Suna cuts you off, Made you go silent in the middle of your nervous sentences. Your hand that was going up to touch his face stopped mid-way, as you noticed his glare.

This was a perfect chance. A perfect chance to apologize quietly while no one is around, while the twins aren't around. He could've easily said sorry and hand you the bag while running off somewhere else. And he just blew it by saying more mean things to you. He though he practiced enough to keep his nasty sylables shut. Guess the twins' warning still has him on edge, turning on his fight and flight mode even in the calming presence of you.

...

Calming?

"B-but Suna-senpai--!"

"God you're so annoying. Cant you just leave me alone so those two idiots Will be fucking happy. Now fuck off!-"

It somehow hurts now, saying these words. He spent so much time thinking how he's gonna dissappear from your story' after he apologize and close the case between you two. He spent so much time thinking what you would've wanted in his head, how you'd love it once he dissappear. But he forgot to think much of the aching feelings he has, the so called "annoying" feelings that appears when you're around. The annoying yet sometimes comforting feeling.

He walked passed by your Frozen figure, trying to ignore the hurt and shocked expression you gave him after he yelled.

Even if he does realize what his weird feelings meant now, what differences does that make? He still has been a complete jerk to you. There are no sweet memories he gave. There are no comfort that you could find in him at this point. And the twins had already told him not to be involved with you in any way anymore. Even if he shouts "I actually love you" now, it won't change anything. He'll still be another random face in your story, clubmates with your childhood friends, someone you once try to avoid, a senior whom bullied you because he likes you but finally left you alone.

'God cant I turn back Time and forget ever saying hi to her.'

A/N: Gonn work on how to make a fluff ending from this point of the story now

For ya'll who just want the angst, ya'll can stop here ✌️

[rattyoakenbitch]

❝𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞❞ ─ 𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨

hey, it's not like you ever tried to stay . .

❥ content ; gn reader, angst, dark themes, yandere themes, toxic relationship

❥ warnings ; sxlf hxrm & mxtilation, swearing, verbal abuse, manipulation, slight nxdity lol

❥ synopsis ; all you wanted was his attention. and by the gods, you were going to get his attention by any means.

❥ a/n ; first mello fic (: i've been wanting to write something dark for a while and ig i finally got the opportunity lol. i thought i got out of my death note stage but i'm back, so please don't be afraid to send requests or ask to be added to my nonexistent taglist! alsoo while this oneshot does include s/h, i am in no way glorifying or romanticizing it!!! but i do tend to write angsty and dark fics. again, this is a work of fiction and i don't intend for anyone to take this too seriously and let this influence them.

The loud crash of a glass echoed throughout the room as a vase went flying through the air and collided with the wall, just a few feet from where you were standing.

You didn't flinch. Didn't scream. Didn't cry. Didn't react. You were used to Mello's fits of rage by now, months into your relationship. If you could even call it that, at this point.

You knew Mello wouldn't dare lay a finger on you; if he did, he'd cut off his own hands and have live with the guilt forever, knowing he brought you harm. Which is why you didn't react.

However, he didn't seem to have a problem when it was only verbal.

"I don't fucking get you!" Mello spat harshly and continued to rant, "Why did you think that was okay?! Did you once consider how I felt?! I was worried sick that some asshole hurt you but you come back a day later and tell me you were at some boy's house!"

You only scoff, leaning against the wall in a relaxed manner, eyeing the remaining shards of the vase carefully. Just like Mello, you were incredibly stubborn.

"Answer me, Y/N!"

"Okay, Mihael," you state cooly, using Mello's legal name and causing him to listen more intently. "First of all, I don't know what you expected me to do when you invited your weird mafia 'friends' over while I was trying to sleep. Second, he's not 'some boy', his name is Y/F/N and he's one of a few people I can trust. I don't know what you think of me."

"You could've gotten a hotel room, that's what!"

"With what money, Mihael?! What fucking money? You forced me to quit my job and then practically lock me up in this hell hole that I can't even call 'home' anymore!"

Mello huffed. "Pfft, you should be grateful. I've kept you safe all this time, away from the dangers of the world. You're alive because of me. Me. You're mine."

"Yeah, some fucking life, right?"

"I provide for you, I protect you from the monsters out in the world, but you still decide to go and whore yourself out to your little 'friend'," Mello sneered, his sharp voice dripping with venom.

You stared at your boyfriend in disbelief. All words, all arguments and nasty retorts expiring on your lips.

"I.." You start, but laugh pitifully. "I don't even know what you're saying. I don't know if you even know what you're saying. Honestly, Mello, just when I thought you couldn't surprise me anymore, you start spewing complete and utter bullshit out of your mouth." Mello's silence only egged you on. "It's no wonder Near always came in first place." Aaand there it was. You snapped.

If looks could kill, you'd be dead. Mello's eyes widened in anger at the mention of Near, reminding him of his inferiority.

In a completely different situation where he wasn't on the receiving end, Mello would be smiling proudly, listening to your clever retorts and comebacks. You've always been as stubborn and hot headed as him, and he really liked that about you, fuck that "opposites attract" bullshit. (I ACC LOVE THAT TROPE LOL IM SORRY) However, considering you were both extremely toxic people, it was far from entertaining when it was you who got in a fight with the other.

You didn't stop, though. If he was gonna play that who-could-be-more-toxic game, you weren't gonna back down.

"I don't know if it was the explosion or you've really always been that stupid, but you need to get the fuck over yourself and stop throwing tantrums when you find out that I have a life, too, and I have friends. Friends who actually give a damn."

You stare down each other in silence, a heavy tension hanging in the air. Still, after a few moments, Mello didn't make any effort to speak or react, other than walking out of the room.

Days, weeks went by. Mello hasn't spoken a word to you. Hasn't even looked in your direction when you passed each other or walked into the same room. You didn't exist anymore, and it worried you.

Mello was never like this. Within a few days or even hours after an argument, you would easily kiss and make up. Had you gone too far this time?

Besides the fact that Mello was intentionally giving you the cold shoulder, he was also busy with work, and was out of the house from midnight to early afternoon. During that time, you would stay at home and carry out your every day mundane tasks and chores.

Even now, you didn't seek comfort in your family or friends. You were either busy keeping the house clean, sleeping, or entertaining yourself on social media. But it was all a sad attempt to keep your mind occupied on anything else other than Mello.

And one day like any other where Mello was out doing whatever the hell mafia dudes do, you snapped. You decided you were sick of the silent treatment.

If Mello was gonna play dirty and ignore you, you were gonna give him something to react to.

Mello came home some time after sunset. Kicking off his boots as he walked in the front door, he immediately knew something was off. It was quiet - too quiet. Despite the fact that you were practically taking some sort of forced break after the argument, you acted the same. You went about your day and didn't bother acting shy or timid around Mello. You still hummed earworm pop songs to yourself or put on a podcast to fill the tense air. But now there was nothing. Just Mello, the walls, and the silence.

Mello cautiously walked around the house and searched for any signs of you, fearing the worst.

As he frantically looked around, he stopped abruptly at the sight of blood smeared onto the hallway wall.

Blood.

His heartbeat began to thump loudly in his ears.

Then he noticed more blood. And more, smeared up on the wall, and eventually a trail picked up. He followed the bloody trail as it lead him through the hallway and stopped outside of your shared bedroom that he hasn't been inside for weeks.

Mello shakily inhaled and braced himself for whatever gruesome scene he would walk into.

He reached for the doorknob, twisting it and letting himself in.

Soon as he did, he ceased all motions, his breath caught in his throat as he tried to process what his eyes were showing him.

There, you sat on the bed, nothing on but your underwear and one of Mello's shirts. On one hand, you loosely held a pocket knife. On the other, you had your sleeve rolled up, your inner arm facing Mello's direction.

Your doe eyes looked up from the floor and met Mello's panicked ones. He was finally looking at you again. Despite the gorey setting and the stinging in your arm, you smiled. You were real to him again.

Multiple cuts oozed blood and trickled down your arm, onto your now dirtied clothes and the once satin white sheets below you.

As Mello got closer, silently freaking out, he could now see that these weren't just cuts - you carved out words. Sentences, onto your arm.

Among the many bloody 'I love you's' and pleads, one word stuck out to him.

It was his name.

He felt sick. Distraught. Guilty. Afraid.

"Y/N," he choked out shakily.

His gaze trailed up your arm, your body, and fixated onto your seemingly innocent face. Your face was rested and gentle, your eyes still staring up at him with adoration and desperation. If it weren't for the blood that painted your whole body and surroundings red, he would have found comfort in your presence.

"I did this.." You ran your fingers along your fresh wounds, not once wincing or drawing back in discomfort. "For you."

You continued, a sick sweetness in your voice. "Jus' wanted to show you how much I love you.. You've been leaving me so lonely, Mello." You frowned. "It was only a matter of time before I had to do something. And now you're finally here.. And you won't leave me again."

[blrush]

Rec List Request

A personalised list for @jammy-boy 🥰 could be of interest to others, so enjoy!

Basic requirements: - just finished and loved SOTUS - is Arthur/Merlin trash - loves a twist or reversal of classic “power-dynamic” - loves angst with happy ending ______________________________

Theory of Love

Film student Third (Gun) has been secretly in love with his best friend Khai (Off) for three years, but Khai is straight, a massive player, and a total arsehole if we’re being honest. This starts painful, but then they start playing around with tropes and expectations and then it changes POV which just HITS so hard and completely changes your whole perception. You know the movie Flipped? It references that, and then does the flip - so good.

Knowing the level of pining, pain and angst that you love (plus your background in film studies) I feel like this is required viewing. Get out the tissues. But also, it’s still really funny and cute/dumb (cause gmmtv) and the production was excellent. Also, Off/Gun are PEAK natural chemistry and Gun is such an incredible actor that watching him cry or yell at someone is still preferable to other actors being happy.

Watch on YouTube HERE

He’s Coming To Me

Precious baby boi Singto plays Med, a ghost, who is is stuck in limbo for 20 years - until he meets a boy who can see him, Thun (my baby boi Ohm) who promises to help him figure out his unfinished business and cross over. And then they were roommates! And then they start falling in love and it’s ANGSTY because they know Med will have to leave one day. Ouch, my heart.

You will enjoy the mixture of domestic fluff and tragic angst in this. But don’t worry it has a happy ending (kind of, I think, from memory haha). Also, you will enjoy the fact that they can’t touch (cause, ghost) which is *chefs kiss* except for moments of heightened emotions when Thun’s powers become strong enough that he can touch Med (FUCK YES, THIS TROPE IS EVERYTHING)

After much whining from fans, they put it up on Youtube haha so watch HERE. 

Until We Meet Again

ANNGST. RE.IN.CAR.NA.TION. ANGST. What else do you need to know?!?! Reincarnated soulmates trope?!!? HELLO!?!?  It’s so beautiful. I’m still not over it. And yes it has a happy ending, it starts super sad, then ends up super fluffy and the romantic fluffy moments oh god it’s so romantic. I know you love like soft domestic food sharing etc - this show is ALL about the cooking.

The casting, the characterisation, the acting, the story, the music, even the friendship group and the side-couple, it’s perfection *chefs kiss* PERFECTION

Watch on youtube HERE

A Tale of A Thousand Stars

After the lovely volunteer teacher Torfun dies (RIP poor torfun) in a tragic accident, her heart is transplanted into selfish pretty rich boy Tian (played by the beautiful Mix). After learning of her selfless character, he feels guilt and shame for living (the angst is very real) and makes it his mission to complete her life’s wishes and follow in her footsteps. 

As the new village volunteer teacher, he then falls in love with the very handsome and very shirtless chief Phupha (Earth), who lives to protect the trees, we stan an environmental man. Angst, fluff, complications, and many miscommunications ensue. I was tearing my hair out by the end of this show. Yes, it has a happy ending (eventually). Earth x Mix was a pairing we did not know we even wanted or needed until this show happened and now I cry every time I see a picture of them together. Every single time Phupha looks at Tian in this show I literally tear up. HE LOVES HIM SO MUUUUUCHHH *crying again*

Watch on youtube HERE

I Told Sunset About You

Childhood best-friends, turned enemies (for stupid kid reasons), to lovers. This is ANGSTY but so fucking beautiful it’s ridiculous. I wouldn’t even class this as “BL” because it doesn’t have any of the standard tropes, and there’s no silly sound-effects or innuendo jokes. This is like genuine lgbt+ indie-film realness. You can honestly just watch it for the cinematography and the music. The AESTHETIC of this show is what truly makes it special. The symbolism, the colours, this show said CINEMA. And the sexual tension is absolutely WILD. You will live for the angst (with a happy ending). And no, do not bother watching season 2, it’s perfect as a stand-alone mini-series. (I’m still upset).

Watch HERE 

and now for some stand-out non-Thai series...

Where Your Eyes Linger

Korea has gotten on the BL train, and has now made a whole bunch of viki mini-series that are all cute but this one is right up your alley. This is VERY merthur. It’s literally servant/master, bodyguard/prince trope. But, I thought the characterisation was nicely thought out and wasn’t what I was expecting. The tension is palpable, the angst is juicy, and the soft kdrama vibes are cheesy and wonderful. Angst with a happy ending (of course).

Watch on VIKI

HIStory 3: Trapped

So the Taiwanese HIStory series has been around forever, and I love the whole series (History 2: Crossing The Line is my all time fav). But for youuuu, I think the most appropriate is Trapped. Police detective single-mindedly obsessed with a gang leader? Yes please. But whatever power-dynamic expectations you would have of a police/criminal couple are twisted and warped immediately! This series is so endearing, it’s mostly comedy/action, and whilst it has plenty of angst, mostly it’s just CUTE as fuck. Also the side couple are adorable too!

The whole History series is on Viki now yay!

The Untamed

Look, I KNOW 50 episodes of plot-heavy chinese historical fantasy is a lot. But there’s a reason this show was soooo popular. It only took me like 3 attempts and a whole ass “guide” pdf to figure out what the fuck was happening in the first ep cause its non-linear. But, if you are in the right mood (ie; sick, or in lockdown) and need something to get completely LOST in for like a week, then watch this haha. I know you couldn’t make it through Guardian, but maybe this one will hit the spot.

This has all the angsty character tropes you live for. And cause it’s censored, there’s no actual romance, so instead it’s just the best kind of UST, character driven, emotional soulmate angst. To summarise: Wei Wuxian is; adopted, a trouble-maker, impetuous, head-strong, fun-loving, has a martyr complex and wants to save everyone. Meanwhile, Lan Zhan is; lawful good to a fault, stoic, shy, and has a martyr complex about saving Wei Wuxian and Wei Wuxian ONLY. Now throw them into the middle of supernatural / political turmoil and see what happens. Well I’ll tell you what happens, Wei Wuxian becomes the “villain”, gets killed, and Lan Zhan spends 16 years looking for him. FUCKING KILL ME OKAY. (No, that’s not a spoiler it happens in the first episode haha)

Do NOT watch on Netflix the subs are trash. Watch on Youtube or Viki

 ~ ~ ~

This list may seem long but I was VERY reserved in my selection okay you have no idea how tiny this tip of the iceberg is 😂

Also, knowing your love of no-touching, tension, and angst. I would also briefly draw your attention so School 2013 in my bromance list which is the single most angsty show about friendship ever made.

Enjoy!

[differenceonlyyoucanmake]

12 Dancing Princesses Thoughts/ Headcanons/ Assorted Stuff that Came to Me in a Dream

I’m kind of tired, so this may be incomplete. I wanted to put it out there, though. My dreams have mostly been from Courtney’s perspective, not an omniscient one. Because of this, there may be some gaps.

Ashlyn:

- Deserved so much better

- It actually makes me upset. I woke up from one of my 12dp dreams in TEARS because she deserved so much better.

- After Isabella passed, Ashlyn took on the role of being a maternal presence to her sisters. She did this extremely well, but it’s also heartbreaking how she pushed herself to grow up.

- Randolph was not a capable father during the lowest periods of his grief, and Ashlyn definitely had to compensate for this.

- Randolph... could have been kinder to her, especially after the queen died. He couldn’t look Ashlyn in the eyes. She reminded him too much of his late wife.

- Isabella wanted Ashlyn to inherit her belongings and position, but Randolph had his own favorites (I promise I don’t think he was an evil person, but he could have done better).

- I think Ashlyn would identify as bisexual.

- She knew several instruments, but was most attached to the flute. Her most treasured memories involved Isabella giving her flute lessons.

- She was expected to be the mature one all the time, so she repressed a lot of her own frustrations in favor of caring for others.

- She was closest to Blair and Courtney.

- She was a little soft spoken, and one of the most “ladylike”; Ashlyn was one of the sisters who struggled least with Rowena’s lessons.

- The younger sisters had a hard time remembering that she was a person capable of all sorts of feelings. They expected parental behavior from her, and got really confused when she expressed negative emotions.

- Some of the sisters assumed Ashlyn didn’t care for sweets, because she would offer hers to the others whenever they got any. In reality, she thought this was kind behavior. She showed sacrifice in several, seemingly inconsequential, ways.

- Despite seeming so mature, she always felt as if she stopped growing up after her mother passed.

- As the sisters grew up, Ashlyn really struggled with finding her purpose. She didn’t get the power her mother promised her. She put her own ideas and prospects aside to care for her sisters. She ended up floating from kingdom to kingdom, with varying success in several different courts. She eventually came  to live with the other eldest sisters.

- Despite being (in my view) cheated out of her kingdom, Ashlyn seldom expressed frustration or resentment. She adopted the attitude of a retired noble early in life, spending a lot of time on composing music and serene hobbies.

Blair

- horse.... horses..... sleeping in the stables...... with the horses

- I’m kidding! Mostly!

- Blair was bold and opinionated. She also loved witty conversation and comedy.

- What else did she love? Horses.

- She would sneak out all the time to ride.

- Her favorite horse was black and very tall.

- She was closest to Ashlyn and Courtney.

- Blair was sick in childhood.

- Though the older sisters were known for being more refined and elegant, Blair pushed this notion plenty.

- She loved adventure.

- All of the sisters missed the golden pavilion, but Blair struggled with this a lot.

- She didn’t have as many problems with Randolph, but sometimes she would CAUSE problems on purpose (mostly defending Ashlyn and calling out his favoritism).

- She turned her own estate later in life into a close replica of the pavilion. The grounds were massive.

- She was intelligent, but struggled with many academic tasks. If she needed to read something that was challenging, she would often hand it to Courtney for help. She would only have motivation to read if it was about subjects she loved.

- This is ironic, because she later came to be a published writer. I believe these were short works, similar to pamphlets.

- Blair enjoyed throwing and attending large balls and gatherings. She was still chasing the thrill of the magical visits she’d make with her sisters.

- Blair was considered extremely beautiful, and drew admirers wherever she went. She accumulated many pieces of ruby jewelry this way.

- She also liked wearing capes and cloaks.

Courtney

- Generally shy, Courtney made an exception when she stood up for Ashlyn.

- Courtney longed to travel, and books provided her with a form of escapism until she was able to.

- She had a health scare after the events of the movie, and this somehow tarnished her standing in society??

- She wasn’t straight, probably a lesbian.

- She was well read on political matters and the history of their kingdom, and would often be the first one to noticed Randolph’s incompetence in certain areas.

- She was a young teen when she first started rewriting her father’s treaties in her spare time. She learned after the first time not to bring her drafts to him.

- When Ashlyn and Blair left home, she grew closer with Fallon. Both had a streak of wanderlust, and gravitated towards the romantic.

- Courtney published poetry under a pseudonym starting at a young age. This probably helped her somewhat. As she grew up, her poems grew in notoriety, and many debated who their true writer was. A significant portion focused on love between women and feeling trapped.

- I think she had been to Apollonia (Antonio’s kingdom in Island Princess) several times, and knew both Luciana and Antonio from an early age. I think this was the case for many of the older sisters.

- After their mother died, the girls traveled less, and met less new people. Courtney was bothered by this.

- She was generally thought of as calm and quiet, but she felt emotions deeply ( even if she didn’t always express them).

Delia

- Athletic and spunky

- Delia enjoyed more structured sports.

- She was prone to sunburns.

- Delia was enamored with the sun and light. She would hang prisms next to her windows to watch the light refract.

- She was closest with her twin, Edeline. They enjoyed playing croquet together and (though it was usually harmless) gossiping.

- Delia had a temper. She would deal with guilt afterwards if she lashed out at someone.

- Her emotional regulation issues came to light after her mother died.

- Delia dealt with a lot of guilt in general. She didn’t feel as put-together as her older sisters, or as carefree as the younger ones. She felt guilty for not fitting in, and expressed feeling like an inconvenience to those around her.

- Outsiders thought she was dim-witted, and she internalized this.

- Delia often had a problem of interrupting people or speaking loudly, so it was advised that she stay quiet when visitors came. This really hurt her self esteem, since she was always happy to make new friends.

- Rowena had offended her when she was a young girl, and Delia never forgot this.

- Delia liked birds, and hummingbirds fascinated her.

- She had to learn to accept herself later in life. 

- She discovered people who appreciated her for who she was, and finally left her inhibitions behind. 

- After that, she became known for her charisma and charm.

Edeline:

- Edeline shared a lot of interests with her twin, such as sports and outdoor activities.

- She enjoyed making others laugh.

- Once Genevieve married Derek, Edeline took it as her cue to BULLY that poor man.

- Seriously, it probably warded off suitors for her other sisters.

- It was usually in good fun, though.

- Edeline disliked rules and structure.

- She was closest with Delia.

- She often stood up for her twin.

- Edeline had a good ear for gossip, and had her own methods of fact checking stories she’d heard.

- Something happened with her at Genevieve’s wedding?? Maybe she broke something??

- Edeline traveled some, but found her way back home eventually.

- She DESPISED Rowena. None of the sisters liked her, but Edeline couldn’t stand her from the beginning.

- Edeline would have loved to know about the concept of roast humor.

- She liked to have sleepover-like setups in their bedroom. She would build forts and encourage the others to come tell ghost stories. When the memories of her mother came to her, she felt the need to DO something, even if the action wasn’t necessarily related.

- She became known for her humor.

Fallon

- Fallon was pretty much independent, until she and Courtney bonded.

- Fallon always wanted pets, and was jealous that only Genevieve was allowed to have one (besides....bugs and the horses, who were kept outside).

- She would try to befriend wild animals, and nursed some injured animals back to health.

- I don’t think Fallon was straight.

- Fallon was sensitive, and had a hard time dealing with Rowena’s harsh treatment.

- Fallon had nightmares, and would often go to her older sisters for comfort.

- She enjoyed the company of others. She would spend time with servants and other people considered to be below her station.

- Fallon played the harp.

- She loved the softer aspects of life. 

- She devoted time to charitable causes.

- I just know that she did that classic princess trope of posing as a commoner. That’s such a her thing to do.

- She gained a reputation for being eccentrically kind. She had a large family of animals, who she took EXCELLENT care of.

Genevieve

- You may have noticed that the older sisters were generally closer with each other. Well, Genevieve wasn’t, and she made it that way.

- She.... liked to act like she was in charge. She often undermined Ashlyn’s efforts.

- She was Randolph’s favorite.

- Genevieve got along better with the younger sisters, especially Lacey.

- She probably did have leadership skills, but a lot of them came from acting like she did.

- Like I’ve implied above, she got a lot of power after she married, instead of Ashlyn.

- Derek wasn’t a bad person, but he was a COBBLER. How did she get more political power by marrying a COBBLER?

- She butted heads with Blair and Courtney quite often after the events of the movie.

- Basically, she had Main Character Disease dsfghjk

- She traveled less than the other older sisters.

- Admittedly, she wasn’t a poor leader.

- I have a feeling she adopted a lot of children later in life.

- She and Derek had a pretty long transitional period after they married, meaning they spent more time really figuring out who they were as a couple rather than jumping into their duties right away.

- Genevieve kind of symbolized the cutoff for the sisters who had lots of solid memories about their mother and those who didn’t.

- She was one of the best dancers out of the sisters.

- She was brave and self-assured.

- She knew what she wanted, and she would get it.

- After Twyla, she got some other cats. They were mostly orange and/or long haired.

- She never quite shook her habit of being late.

Hadley

- Hadley was closest to their twin, Isla.

- As Hadley grew up, they became more comfortable being gender nonconforming. They may have been trans, but I don’t remember.

- Hadley enjoyed fencing.

- Stilts were Hadley’s first love, and led to appreciation for other daring activities.

- Hadley also loved the ocean. Many of their adventures involved being at sea. They spent years sailing longside their twin on a ship Genevieve gifted them.

- Rumors swirled that they were a pirate. Though these weren’t true, Hadley didn’t mind.

- Hadley was energetic and intuitive.

- Hadley was an athletic risk-taker. They enjoyed acrobatics and other feats of the human body.

- Hadley became known for their adventurous exploits and fencing prowess.

- Though Hadley initially idolized Genevieve, she eventually sided with Ashlyn and the other older sisters once she learned the whole story.

- Hadley stayed with the older sisters after whatever scary thing happened with Courtney.

- Hadley mentored people, and may have been a teacher.

- She really missed the times when all of their sisters got along.

- There were rumors that Hadley was affiliated with darker forces, when in reality Hadley was one of the most well-adjusted.

Isla

- Isla was closest to Hadley.

- Isla liked adventure, but she was less daring than Hadley.

- Isla stayed our of most business involving the older sisters, preferring to spend time with her twin.

- She loved swimming.

- Isla had a collection of maps.

- She was known for being easy going. 

- She sometimes had to bring Hadley down from an idea that seemed too dangerous.

- Isla was the voice of reason in some situations.

- She never lost her passion for dance, and learned new styles through their travels.

- Isla had pet birds.

- She was admired for her grace and acrobatic talent.

- Isla enjoyed circus-like acts.

- She was more bothered by the pirate rumors than Hadley.

- Isla enjoyed researching magic, and trying to find a way back to the magic pavilion. 

- Isla was non-confrontational.

- She tried many forms of artistic expression, from writing to painting.

- Isla was loyal to Hadley, and would be there for her twin no matter what.

Janessa

- Janessa maintained her love of insects.

- Since they were so young when it happened, none of the triplets remember details of the magic pavilion. If their sisters weren’t there to confirm their memories, they would have thought it was a dream.

- Janessa grew up to be very interested in science.

- Janessa found the proper way to care for insects, and took pride in how well she did it.

- She was prone to worrying.

- She often lamented the fact that she was so young when they visited the pavilion.

- Janessa was considered obedient and passive.

- Janessa heard how much she looked like her mother (though not as much as Ashlyn). She had mixed feelings about this, because she couldn’t really remember what her mother looked like.

- Janessa was closest to Kathleen.

- She became close with Edeline and Delia when she got older.

- Janessa knew she wasn’t Randolph’s favorite, and took this personally. She tried, especially in her youth, to gain his approval.

- She also knew that Genevieve preferred Lacey, even though all the triplets looked up to Genevieve.

- Janessa balanced her love for science with her royal duties, and used what power she had to provide exposure and resources to research institutes.

Kathleen

- Kathleen was creative and unconventional.

- She was closest with Janessa, and became close with Isla later in life.

- Kathleen was known for her paintings.

- She started out painting things like landscapes, then moved into less traditional subjects.

- Her royal portraits were renowned in particular. They captured royalty doing activities that were important to them, or in significant fantasy settings.

- She painted portraits of her siblings and father. These became their favorites. She captured: a relaxed Ashlyn writing music, Blair on horseback in mid-air, Courtney in her library, Delia in the sunlight, Edeline in a fantastical outdoor scene, Fallon with her animals, Genevieve dancing, Hadley fencing, Isla swimming, Janessa surrounded by flying insects in the sky, and Lacey at work.

- Though she tried many times, Kathleen was not satisfied with her attempts of painting her mother. She felt like she was simply copying pre-existing portraits.

- The only painting of her mother she was somewhat pleased with was one of Queen Isabella walking away, her back to the viewer as she walked into a golden pavilion.

- Kathleen tried to paint the magic pavilion, and these painting had a fuzzy, dream-like quality.

- Her art gained a significant following.

Lacey

- She was Randolph’s second favorite.

-Lacey was unshakably loyal to Genevieve. She didn’t understand why the older sisters were upset about her being given power and land.

- Lacey struggled with illness as a child. She was inspired by the healing water at the pavilion to study medicine.

- Lacey struggled with muscle strength and coordination well into adulthood.

- Despite this, she continued dancing.

- She looked very similar to Randolph’s relatives.

- She felt the need to defend Genevieve, and would often challenge her older sisters because of this.

- Although Ashlyn never challenged her, Lacey harbored resentment towards her. She blamed Ashlyn for the fact that Genevieve’s approval wasn’t universal.

- Lacey was interested in scientifically based medicine, as well as magical remedies.

- Lacey was always closest with Genevieve, and lived with her for a long time.

- Lacey idolized Genevieve and Derek’s relationship, often heralding it as the pinnacle of romance.

- She searched for a way back to the magical world, believing it contained the key to eternal youth and immortality.

- Lacey didn’t care for travel as much as some of her sisters, but she usually enjoyed when she did leave her own kingdom.

- She grew up to be Genevieve’s closest adviser, and an accomplished healer.

Canon Noncompliant Things

- The sisters left the pavilion by dancing in birth order. Although Derek did leave by dancing with Genevieve, they weren’t responsible for leaving in the first place. Once again, Ashlyn doesn’t get the credit she deserves dfghjk

- Genevieve had an actual wedding, not whatever that was that was shown at the end of the movie. It was smaller than a lot of royal weddings (because Derek didn’t have many connections or people to invite), but it was a serious affair. 

[alfredosauce50]

would you be down to do 2p china hc’s? im very curious on how you characterize him!

I’m down! I’m guessing you figured I had my own interpretation of the guy after I answered an ask saying I’d write for him. I really like 2p! China as a character, but I have to say, I haven’t properly written for him before. Nevertheless, I’ll give you my thoughts on him as a person!

2p! China Headcanons

Zao’s appearance doesn’t give away much of his personality. He’s got a bit of a baby face, and he has a sociable and pleasant demeanor for the most part. So if you didn’t know him well enough to see past those traits, you would be surprised at how shady he can be.

Appearance

Like his 1p counterpart, his dark brown hair goes past his shoulders and is tied back in a low ponytail. It’s pretty thin too, so it stays flat against his back. But that’s what makes it look so good. He isn’t the tallest guy out there, as he stands around 170cm or 5′7″. Doesn’t mean you can easily take him out in a fight, though. He’s quite slender, but he’s muscular and knows a few martial arts to boot.

He has a lot of tattoos, and he doesn’t try to hide them. He has dragons curling down his arms, as well as Chinese characters etched into his back. Most of the time, he wears traditional clothing, such as a sleeveless Tang suit, so his arms are exposed. It’s almost as if the colors black and red were made for him. And he knows it. So unless he’s having a bad day where he’ll go for a simple T-shirt, he likes to dress to impress. Not that he even needs to try.

He’s devilishly attractive, and the way he talks gets girls flocking to him.

Personality

Zao is very easy-going and open-minded. He’ll talk about anything with anyone. Everything is fascinating in a way, and nothing seems to faze him either. So he’s the type to question the most trivial things in life--or list drugs as casually as you would your favorite candy bars. It’s also difficult to shock him, or anger him. When life deals him a bad hand, or springs up inconveniences, he’ll go with the flow because that’s life. So unless something involves the person he likes, he keeps himself pretty level-headed.

With his willingness to talk about anything, comes his brutal honesty and bluntness. So sometimes, he’ll find himself offending people even if he never meant to. If he does this to women, they’ll slap him before storming off, leaving him in confusion at what he did wrong. But if he does this to men, he’ll have to be quick on his feet to escape a potential fight. Unlike a few other 2ps, he has a good temperament so he avoids violence, but he’ll resort to it if he absolutely has to.

Despite the careers he’s depicted to have, like being a drug-dealer, something in adult entertainment, night-life, or anything illegal, he has strong fraternal instincts. If somebody embodied the “big brother” trope, it would be him. He cares a lot for his younger siblings, and they look up to him as a role model. But he’ll always tell them, “Do as I say, not as I do!” As comfortable as he is in his own skin, his own identity, he wouldn’t want them taking after him.

He’s very flirtatious, and a huge tease. How he shows he likes you is through making you blush, or embarrassed. He’ll call you pet names. Shower you with compliments. Refer to you as if you and him are already an item. If you bumped into him at a grocery store, he’ll help you shop, then say, “So, is that all we need? I can’t wait for dinner tonight.” Zao is also unapologetically dirty-minded. He’s all about dirty jokes, conversations, and gestures. The bigger reaction he gets, the more addicting they are.

He doesn’t have any qualifications, not even a high school diploma, but he’s street-smart to make up for it. That’s how he makes so many connections and hustles his way up to the top in shady businesses. If you need something, anything, legal or illegal, expensive or cheap, you can ask him, and 99% of the time, he’ll say, “I know a guy.” If he likes you, all he wants in return is something perverted. A kiss, maybe. Or maybe your underwear.

Interests

He loves anything cute, and he doesn’t hide it. Sanrio is a must--he keeps a collection of their plushies, most of them being Hello Kitty, but he also likes other characters such as Cinnamoroll and Pompompurin. Sometimes, he can get a bit obsessive over whatever sells fast. So if he has to, he’ll stay up and keep refreshing the page selling whatever he has his eyes on. If he’s infamous for his connections that let him get pretty much anything he wants, surely he can get his hands on the limited-edition Hello Kitty-themed towel, right!? He isn’t against having other kinds of merchandise either, like household items, but he keeps it lowkey for functionality.

In his house, you’ll find a lot of imports from East-Asian countries. Not only is he used to using them when he was back in China, they’re better than what you can find in America. Or at least, in his opinion. This includes cosmetics, snacks, alcohol, and decorations.

Although he doesn’t have a lot of time to, he enjoys watching anime. That’s why he makes sure to get through the most popular and mainstream ones first.

Zao likes to keep connected with his culture. He doesn’t care to assimilate, and being ‘different’ doesn’t bother him at all--he thinks it’s what gives him a unique personality and background. Since he doesn’t have a lot of friends to speak Mandarin with, he’ll look for his neighbors who can, and strike up a conversation every now and then. As well as that, he’ll give his siblings red pockets for Chinese New Year so they can spend it on food, videogames or whatever they want.

He can’t cook for shit. Even then, he has strong opinions on food, especially Chinese. While he enjoys westernised take out like Panda express, he wishes people would stop assuming Chinese cuisine is just dumplings, fried rice, noodles and yum cha. They’re B-tier at best. For a country with that rich and long a history, there’s so much more to indulge in. Too bad he can’t make anything if he tried.

Psychology + romance

Zao is used to being a second choice. His cheerfulness and bluntness make other people think he’s creepy or weird, so he can’t quite wrap his head around somebody liking him to that degree--or getting particularly close to him. At least, emotionally. There are a lot of girls who want him for one-night stands. But this doesn’t stop him from flirting with someone he genuinely likes, even if he doesn’t expect anything in return. It’s fun because they get flustered, after all. But when they start returning the same energy, get persistent, or even make him suspect that they like him back, he will get nervous. He’s used to being the chaser, not the other way around. So if the tables turn and things start getting real, he will back away.

As confident as he is with his image, it’s difficult for him to get intimate with somebody romantically. He’s open, but can’t be vulnerable. He’d rather keep things casual, so when he really falls for someone, he’ll be conflicted between keeping things the way they are, or pursuing them.

Eventually, these feelings will deepen to the point being just friends becomes suffocating. That’s when Zao loses his cool and gets frustrated. It could happen due to a build-up of his emotions, or an event that makes him explode from jealousy. He’ll get desperate after so long of not doing anything and make it very clear he wants you. “Just date me already!”

When he finally gets together with you, prepare to be coddled. He’ll want to help you with anything the best way he can, and go to extreme lengths to do so. Nothing seems extreme when it’s for somebody he cares so much about. While he never holds it against you--how much he does for you--he may or may not guilt trip you into giving him more affection. But only subtly. Instead of him kissing you, he'll loiter around your presence until you kiss him. And when you do, he’ll smile like an idiot.

He never makes it explicit when he wants to take you out on a date. Zao will just ask you if you’re free, and take you out for the night. He doesn’t see a point in labelling it as a ‘date’, because he doesn’t just see quality time with you through a romantic and sexual lens. He values the friendship aspect of it as well, and you really appreciate him for it.

Zao loves to cuddle. He doesn’t hug you much throughout the day, but when you’re at home and about to sleep, he will hug you, a lot. He won’t let go while he talks to you, and will only loosen his coils when you fall asleep.

Acknowledgements

I was mainly inspired by the 2p! China in the story, “Dragon District”, written by xYourHero. So props to them. The fandom’s perception of him has definitely deepened because of it, and it’s great seeing underrated 2ps finally getting the attention they deserve! I’m one of the people who’s had my characterization of Zao take after hers, so I’ll also be crediting her for my headcanons.

You can find the story on DeviantArt, Archive of our own and Wattpad. I adored that fic back in the day. Such good memories. I wasn’t even writing back when I was reading it. Any who, let’s get right into it. I’ve divided the headcanons into subcategories, appearance, personality, interests, and psychology + romance.

(Look at this fanart is by Amphany on DeviantArt. It was drawn for xYourHero. I’m gonna put it here for reference. https://www.deviantart.com/amphany/art/Dragon-smoke-548426383)

[queen0fm0nsterz]

*Slides a 5 dollar bill* So what are some of your ideas for those Little Nightmares fics?

OH BOY ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO KNOW.

Weeeell, I have various idea that I'm writing down all at the same time. I'll list the various AUs here.

The Gang! AU

Ok no this isn't some sort of Criminal AU, I literally didn't know what to name it JSKDKS

Anyway, I'm actually writing this along with a friend of mine. It's based on a rp we had and it's quite long. We're writing one chapter each, I'm currently finishing chapter five. It kinda follows the story of Little Nightmares 2, but at the same time is canon divergent. Does that make sense?

We added two of our kid OCs to travel with Mono and Six!

Their names are Zip and Emerald respectively, from left to right! Zip was made by my friend while Emerald is my kid. The art was done by me!

They're not the only OCs we made for this story; we also have five glitch kids, a couple of bullies and a patient from the Hospital.

Since it's long, we decided to split it into three parts. The first part takes place in the Pale City, the second part in the Maw and the third in a location made up by us that we're still crafting.

The good news: Mono doesn't get dropped and Runaway Kid is alive!

The bad news: everything else literally every single thing

It's gonna have a good ending, though. It's the least we can do after everything we put these kids through😭

Restaurant Maw! AU

Just the monsters of LN put in a modern setting! Not only that, it's Maw employees centric!

Basically in this AU the Maw is a very well-known restaurant and hotel, in a very similar fashion to the bathouse in Spirited Away. The Lady is obviously the boss, the Ferryman becomes the driver of the Maw's personal bus, Roger is the keeper, Bellhop is still a bellhop and also the maître d'hotel (aka the guy who makes sure the guests are comfortable etc.), the Chefs are still the Chefs - their names are Bruce and Bernard! And lastly, the Nomes are a bunch of waiters, bellhops and cooks.

Things are going very well for eveyone until one day the Chefs go outside for a smoking break and they find a baby in a box. They take her in and keep her hidden for a couple of days before the Lady invitably finds out.

She decides to let them keep her with the condition that they raise her on their own and take care of all of her needs wihout bothering her - which of course doesn't happen at all and eventually all the employees in the Maw grow attached to baby Sawako nicknamed Six.

This one has all my favorite tropes: slice of life, found family, and I'm hoping to achieve comedy (which is very complicated for me because I have a very dramatic style).

Plus the Chefs are italian because I'm italian and I claimed them, so if you want to see one of them teach the Lady how to swear in italian you came in the right place.

RCG and the Pretender Live! AU

And they lived! I started writing this immediately after I finished VLN but I was blinded by pain so it's a little messy. I have to edit it.

But basically the point is: they survived! But are stuck on land. The first to wake up is RCG, who I named Valeria, and she spots the Pretender a few feet from her and realizes that somehow they both managed to float ashore. Luckily for her, the Nest is now very far away, although they can still see it from the distance.

At first she wants to leave the Pretender there, but then decides to bring her along, tying her hands behind her back first. And so begins the girls voyage in the big wide world, trying to survive and becoming besties in the process.

Im debating wheter I want the Pretender to develop a little crush on RCG or not. Mhhhh. I'll let you guys know.

Mono Jumps in Time! AU

THIS ONE WAS INSPIRED BY THIS ADORABLE FANART BY @kelpermoosee !! Go check them out their art is adorable!!! This is also a Mono centric AU!

So basically! When Six is kidnapped by the Thin Man and Mono goes to save her, his high distress and strong, swirling emotions lead him to not only travel from a place to the next, but to also accidentally go back in time.

He jumps out from a TV but, surprise surprise, he's not in the Pale City anymore. He's landed right in front of the Pretender, who immediately takes a liking to him and wants him to be her new friend. Mono is extremely confused and at first and doesn't realize what happened, so obviously he tries to go back to the Pale City, but then he sees a girl in a yellow raincoat and immediately assumes she's Six.

He assumes that's where the Thin Man brought her, so he tries to run after her, but he's costantly hindered by either the Pretender or her staff. Will he ever get to "Six" and realize that he jumped in time? I'll decide, because this story is still under construction.

Six Forgets! AU

You know that quote from the comics?

"What's the last thing you remember? Tell me. If you don't tell us, you're sure to forget altogether."

Beautiful. And also what prompted me to come up with this AU.

Some things to clarify: the Eye is a collective conciousness that feeds off from negative emotions, the Thin Man lives but can't leave the Pale City, and The Lady is a grown up Six. The Maw kids from the comics are here! Plus a few OCs of mine.

And lastly: Six couldn't handle the guilt from dropping Mono and repressed all memories involving him altogheter, so she completely forgot about him.

Six gets on the Maw, but this time instead of waking up in a suitcase, she's brought to Roger adn the other children by the Ferryman. There, she befriends a few children but no one gets closer to her than the Runaway Kid. They both want to be free and plan an escape together.

In the meantime, Mono is still trapped in the Signal Tower, but he's convinced that Six let him slip by accident and that she'll come back for him. (The Eye is very frustated with him bc they be planning on feeding on his sadness and rage and then he has the audacity to be hopeful? The nerve!) That's until he gets a glimpse of his best friend and this unknown child through one of the TVs on the Maw, joking and playing with each other, and she confesses to this... no one, really, that he's the best friend she's ever had.

As you can imagine, Mono goes feral. The Eye couldn't be happier.

Chaos ensues! We got a lot of angst, violence, Monster!Mono and also some wholesome moments. Also out of context spoiler: RK and Six lead a revolution.

The Lost Ones

This one is just a bunch of quick drabbles that talk about the glitching remains. They all deserved better.

Hunter and Veronica

I was not gonna miss the occasion of writing simp hunter. Take it or leave it.

Based on my Hunter theory!

My beautiful terrible disaster of a man works on the Maw as a chef, but no one really knows why since he's not good at it. Fortunately, the vast majority of the Guests is just too hungry to care and the current Lady, a woman with a scarecrow mask, doesn't want to fire him. A few Guests have complains, though; for example, a Teacher who seemingly never blinks and a very massive Doctor, whom he befriends.

One day, a filming crew gets on the Maw and the Lady informs her staff that they will be staying for a while to film a commercial-documentary of the restaurant, which will bring more and more Guests. With the crew came a famous, very talented chef named Veronica who has her own extremely successful cooking show, who offers to help the current chef as a thank you for letting them stay without having to pay.

Initially the Hunter is not too happy about this. In his eyes he doesn't need the help, but they start getting closer and closer with time.

This will probably be wholesome but end in a very bad, tragic way. I'd say I'm sorry but I'm not lol

✓✓✓

And that's it for now. I have some other things planned with my monster OCs (btw y'all wanna see them?), but this is the whole thing. It may be updated in the future since I always seem to get more and more ideas!

[this-is-moony-lovegood]

Nat’s Plan (Part 1/2)

Summary: When a recon mission in Lagos goes sideways, Sam and Bucky have to find a creative way to slip away from terrorist agents without causing another international incident. To do so, Bucky suggests they use one of Natasha’s old plans that helped her and Steve dodge HYDRA agents back in 2014. In other words, I can’t help my obsessive need to write about the kiss-to-hide-in-plain-sight trope for Sambucky.

Word Count: 2.9k

Link to AO3

Lagos, Nigeria - 2024

The last time Sam Wilson was in Lagos, was eight years ago in 2016. He, Steve, Nat, and Wanda were on a mission to get a bioweapon out of the hands of Brock Rumlow and his merry gang of ex-Hydra agents which should have been successful. Technically, it was successful - minus the international incident that ensued when Steve didn’t clock a bomb vest and Wanda accidentally blew up a building trying to stop the blast. Maybe semi-successful was a more appropriate word.

Regardless of Sam’s interpretation of the events, the US government and SWORD took extra time and care to warn Sam, Torres, and specifically Bucky Barnes that this trip to Lagos was meant to be incident-free. No super suits, no guns, no knives, no weapons of any kind unless absolutely necessary.

After everything with John Walker over the past few months, Sam thought it was a good idea for Captain America to not go in guns blazing. Yes, they were trying to stop a new terrorist cell, but if Sam could use this trip to gather intel that would help stop them without exposing the Nigerian people to even more threats, then that would appease the government and his conscience.

For the most part, everything had been going swimmingly. No one had recognized them, they were working incredibly well as a team, and had easily slipped inside the terrorist HQ due to Torres’ ease of hacking into the security cameras, and Bucky’s innate ability to knock people unconscious with ease. Bucky and Sam had even managed to make it through the mission without bickering (at least, not more than the usual acceptable amount).

See, everything was great. Was being the keyword, because, after five minutes of trying to hack the cell’s computer to retrieve the data they needed on their upcoming attacks, Bucky got a little too impatient and accidentally tripped an alarm.

Sam groaned and threw his head back, “You’ve got to be shitting me. You’re the ex-assassin, aren't you supposed to be the stealthy one?”

“An ex-assassin with a metal arm who used to not give a fuck about who saw him coming. I didn’t have to be stealthy as the Winter Soldier, Sam. I just took what I had to and killed anyone who got in my way.” Bucky replied, ripping the flash drive out of the PC the second the last file transferred over. Sam sighed, watching the wave of guilt washing over the soldier’s features.

“Don’t start.” He added, holding up a hand to shush the former PTSD support group leader. “This is not the time for a therapy session.”

Lying, Sam began, “I wasn’t gonna-”

“Yeah, you were. Now, let’s get outta here.” Bucky said, motioning for Sam to follow him over the door.

“Hold on, Cap, let me get the wings, and your suit. I’ll be there ASAP.” Joaquín called over their coms. Sam could hear a rustling in the background like he was tripping over items as he rushed for the wings. Sam knew he had been itching to use them but now was not the time.

“No, stay where you are.” Sam insisted, physically holding his hands out as if he could touch Joaquín. “No suits, no wings, we can handle this.”

“Are you sure about that? ‘Cause according to these cams I hacked, you two are severely outnumbered.”

“He’s got a point, Samuel,” Bucky said, reaching for his gun he had tucked in the back of his jeans. Sam reached out, holding onto Bucky’s right wrist. 

“No guns.” Sam’s eyes darted to Bucky’s metal hand inching towards his knife holster, “Or knives. Not yet.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, “then what’s the plan, Cap? Cause you know I hate to admit that the kid is right.”

“A kid that outranks you.” Annoyance flashed across Bucky’s face at Joaquín’s quip, and before he could snap back Sam immediately stepped in by saying, “Alright, Torres use those cameras and find us a route out of this building. If we get out of here first, then we can go from there.”

“On it.” Sam could hear the rapid clicking of keys against Torres’ keyboard, before he said, “Head down that hallway and take the first door on your left.”

With Joaquin’s directions, they two made their way out of the building, only having to fight a few agents (which the partners easily took care of without weapons), but unfortunately, they weren’t the only ones with access to the cameras. More agents were hot on their tails as they burst out one of the side doors. Sam and Bucky took off running, cutting through side streets until they slipped into the crowd at the marketplace.

“We’ve gotta blend in,” Bucky said, immediately stripping off his jacket as they walked, and dumping it on the back of a chair outside a small food stand. Sam couldn’t help but admire the way his flesh and metal arms flexed as the super-soldier revealed that black t-shirt that hugged his chest and biceps in the best possible way. He quickly swallowed, before averting his eyes ahead, only to catch Bucky swipe a pair of sunglasses off a merchant table.

“Woah, what are you doing?” Sam said, gripping Bucky’s army to stop him in his tracks. “You can’t just steal shit, Buck.”

“Now is not the time to lecture,” Bucky said, looking over his shoulder, to see a few agents following them, eyes scanning rapidly scanning the crowd. “We need to hide in plain sight. Dressing like the locals is our best shot to do that.”

“Find another way, besides stealing,” Sam said, taking off his black baseball cap and quickly setting it on a kid’s head that ran while chasing after his friend.

“Fine, hand me your wallet,” Bucky said, extending his metal hand. Sam rolled his eyes before stopping briefly and begrudgingly gave his wallet to the super-soldier. “Good, now take off your jacket.” Without hesitation, the captain slid out of his jacket and tossed it over to Bucky.

Sam watched as Bucky quickly ducked over to an open clothing stall, and greeted a local merchant woman in Yoruba, a smirk spreading across his face as he pointed at a few clothing items and then pointed in Sam’s direction. The woman smiled brightly looking back and forth between the two of them as Bucky handed over a few bills from the wallet along with Sam’s jacket for a short-sleeve button-up shirt with a blue geometric print, a Nigerian football polo, and two brightly colored baseball caps. Bucky said something else quickly, causing the woman to giggle while she placed one of the caps on his head and pinched his cheek.

The entire exchange probably lasted no more than thirty seconds, but Sam couldn’t help but be enthralled in the moment. First, Bucky knew Yoruba? How many languages did he learn as the Winter Soldier? Second, what exactly did he say to that woman to get her light up like a Christmas tree? What did Bucky tell her about him?

“What did you say to her?” Sam asked as Bucky approached quickly.

“I’ll tell you later,” Bucky replied, tossing the polo in Sam’s direction and placing a blue and pink cap on his own head. “Put that on.”

As they continued weaving their way through the crowd, Sam slipped the polo on over his t-shirt. The shirt was a bit snug, hugging his chest tightly. What the hell had Bucky bought him? “Looking good, Samuel,” Bucky said, giving him a once over with a glint in his eyes and a smirk playing on the corners of his mouth. He then threw the button-up over his own short-sleeve shirt (which he didn’t bother to button) and set the other cap on Sam’s head backward. “There you go, now you look like a real local.”

“You know that was one of my favorite jackets that you gave away.”

“Don’t like the shirt I just bought you? I think it suits you. Shows off all those shield throwing muscles.”

“You mean the shirt I just bought me?”

“Semantics.”

“Where are you guys?” Joaquín’s voice called over their earpieces once more.

“Blending in.” Bucky’s smile faded, as he responded. “I count six agents trying to track us. What does the bird say?”

“Redwing,” Torres began, and Bucky could sense the sass rolling off his tongue, “shows six behind you, and six approaching from the front.”

Immediately Bucky stopped them in their tracks and scanned the crowd ahead of them. Sure enough, he could make out six familiarly dressed agents scanning the crowd for them. “Fuck.” Bucky cursed, “Come on.” Before Sam could react, Bucky had grabbed his hand and pulled them into a small alley between two buildings. He had been hoping they could sneak through onto another side street, but no, the alley was a dead-end into another building. “Damnit.” Bucky dropped Sam’s hand, and Sam nearly sighed at the loss of contact.

Bucky groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose, “I think it’s time for guns, Sam.”

“Do you see how many people there are out there? They will all be caught in the crossfire. Do you really want that?” Of course, Bucky didn’t want that. Sam knew - hell was there for - the nightmares Bucky experienced because of people becoming collateral damage for the Winter Soldier. He’d been there to talk Bucky through the aftermath of them when he was willing to talk and fix a cup of coffee or hot tea when he wasn’t. The pain and guilt in his eyes for something he had no control over… that look alone hurt Sam, he couldn’t even imagine how much it hurt Bucky. No, he would not allow Bucky to feel that pain any more than he already was - you know, on top of not harming the civilians. “We need an alternative plan.”

“They’ll be approaching you in about forty-five seconds, Cap. What’s the plan?”

“I have an idea,” Bucky said, looking up at Sam, a look of uncertainty across his face. “Steve told me once about one of Natasha’s plans that they used years back to slip away from Rumlow and the rest of HYDRA’s agents. It could work.”

“One of Nat’s plans? Hell, it’s got to be good. What is it?”

“Don’t know if you’ll be up for it.”

“Buck, we’ve got twelve bullets and a metal arm between the two of us, and I - and the US government - would like to avoid using any of them if possible. If Nat’s plan doesn’t require using those, I’m down. Does it?”

“No guns, no weapons of any kind actually.”

“Alright, then I’m up for it. What’s the plan?”

“Not a lot of time to explain. Really going to just have to show you.”

“Well, go on with it then.”

“Thirty seconds.”

“Do you trust me?” Bucky asked, a question directed only to Sam, sincerity in his eyes. 

Do you trust me? What kind of bullshit question is that? Sam thought. Of course, he trusted Bucky. They’d been going on missions together for months since they stopped the flag smashers and they’ve had each other’s sixes constantly since then. He'd welcomed Bucky into his home to be around his family - and practically live there. Sam Wilson trusted Bucky Barnes with his life, with his family’s lives. No questions about it. Attraction (or deep-seated feelings) aside, how could Bucky not know that by now?

“We don’t have time for this, Buck.” Sam protested, peeking around the corner of the alley to look for the approaching agents.

“I need an answer, Sam.”

“Fifteen seconds, whatever you’re going to do, hurry it up!”

Groaning, Sam said, “Fine, yes, I trust you. Now, will you just-“ Before Sam could finish scolding him, Bucky had swiftly pushed the captain back against the brick wall, and covered his lips with his own. 

Bucky had his metal hand securely on Sam’s hip, while his flesh had cupped Sam’s left cheek simultaneously holding him in place and pulling him as close to the soldier as possible. To say Sam was surprised was an understatement, but it only took him a few seconds to just let go and relax under Bucky’s touch. Bucky’s lips were wet and warm, and moved effortlessly against Sam’s. Sam wasn’t sure what compelled the super soldier to do this, but at that moment Sam didn’t care. This mission at hand and the approaching agents faded from his thoughts as he melted into the kiss he had secretly been waiting for.

Bucky’s tongue swiped across Sam’s lower lip, asking for entrance, which Sam immediately obliged, letting him deepen their kiss. As he did so, Sam roughly fisted the collar of Bucky's new button-down, tugging him forward as he tried to eliminate any distance between the two. Bucky’s flesh hand ghosted down Sam’s neck, then his left arm, and his side, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake before it settled under the hem of Sam’s shirt, before settling on his lower back. The touch sent a shiver up Sam’s spine and he let out a small moan, which Bucky easily swallowed with another kiss.

Sam couldn’t remember the last time that he had been kissed like this - so passionate, yet so gentle. In an attempt to make it a little less so, Sam let go of Bucky’s collar and snaked his hands up to the base of Bucky’s neck, and buried his hands as deeply as he could in his short dark locks, giving them a tug. The moan that followed this action, was much louder than Sam’s, and almost resembled a growl. Damn, Sam loved that sound and knew he’d do anything to make Bucky elicit that sound again, and again.

Bucky responded by kissing Sam harder than before, and pushing himself closer to him, settling his body into between Sam’s legs, as he moved to deepen the kiss once more. He gripped Sam’s hips so hard he was sure they were going to bruise, but Sam loved every second of it.

He didn’t know how long they had been like this - seconds, minutes, hours - it didn’t matter. Time had stopped the moment their lips touched, and everything else around them had faded, which is exactly why Bucky had to be the first to pull away - because Sam wouldn’t have dreamed of it.

Bucky had disconnected their lips, but both of his hands lightly rested on Sam’s hips. “Sam,” he breathed, his words barely coming out above a whisper before he swallowed hard.

Sam loosened his grip on the Sergeant’s shirt but still rested his hands against his chest. “What... was... that?” He asked, a bit dazed. He was breathing heavily and his hooded eyes lingering on Bucky’s pink, slightly swollen lips.

After a moment, Bucky responded, “Public displays of affection make people uncomfortable.” Sam hummed in response, but only because he couldn’t string any other words together. All he was thinking about was that uncomfortable was not the word that he would use to describe what just happened at all. “When I kissed you the agents only looked for a second before turning away and going right past us.” 

When did Bucky have time to look for some damn agents during that fucking unbelievable kiss (more like a make-out session if you asked Sam)? “They did?”

“Yeah.” Sam needed a minute to let the words sink in. The kiss was just a part of a plan. Nat’s plan. A kiss as a distraction/cover. Of fucking course that was a Romanoff plan. A damn good plan, but he couldn’t help but feel the sting of thinking that the kiss - that fucking amazing kiss - was supposed to be… strategic. 

For weeks he had been battling over this lingering feeling of wanting something more with Bucky than just a partnership… until this moment of crushing realization, it felt like they had possibly moved to the next step.

Then again, if it was just strategic, why was Bucky still so close to him? He hadn’t made any attempt to move away, still holding Sam against the wall - albeit, without the arousing force he had minutes before.

“Do you think they’re all gone?” Sam asked, loosening his grip just enough for his hand to rest on the sides of Bucky’s neck.

“Probably.”

“But not for certain?” Sam questioned, rubbing his thumbs along Bucky’s strong, stubble-covered jawline, and down his throat. His fingers grazed over Bucky’s pulse point, and he could easily feel the artery pounding beneath the surface.

“Would probably need some more recon to confirm that.”

“Well until then, better to be safe than sorry, right?” Sam dared, doing anything he could to get Bucky’s lips back on his. From the way, the soldier’s heart was racing Sam could only hope that maybe, just maybe, Bucky would want to kiss him again, too.

“Right,” Bucky breathed, and without hesitation, leaned forward once again to kiss Sam, only to be interrupted a minute later, by Torres’ voice in their coms calling for their attention. 

“Cap, Sarge.” This time, when Bucky pulled away he dropped his hands and took a few steps back, instantly putting a few feet between the two partners. The captain silently cursed Joaquin and his incredibly terrible timing. “I’ve got eyes on them, they’re headed back to base. You should be in the clear.”

“Okay, good,” Bucky said, a little too quickly for Sam’s liking. “We should be back at the safehouse in 20 minutes. Gotta run an alternate route just in case we’re being followed.”

“Got it,” Torres said, signing off. 

Bucky quickly removed the earpiece before shoving it deep into his pocket. He looked around the corner, scanning the crowd before motioning for Sam to follow. “Come on, it’s hot as fuck out here, and I need a shower.”

Yeah, me too. A fucking cold one, Sam thought.

[awkwxrdapple]

Sometimes - Javier Peña x Reader

“Sometimes, just sometimes, well alright maybe all of the time.” - Sometimes by Gerry Cinnamon (x)

Word Count: 2.5k 

Warnings: mentions of injury

A/N: What you have to know is that I am a sucker for “there was only one bed” style tropes. It’s just fluff and sleep related angst. With no back story, it just is what it is. This came to me while I was in the middle of my chem midterm so enjoy :) I’ve set it up for a second part I think, so we will see how it goes haha.

“Forgive me for asking, but are you ok?”

Javi exhaled smoke slowly. You weren’t expecting an honest answer, or any answer at all. You just had to ask. Watching him sit, slumped, on your sofa was worrying. The man looked exhausted. You were used to having him lounge lazily on your couch whenever he came round, but this time it was different. Before, he still had an air of confidence around him, whereas now he looked like he was ready to drop any minute.

After a few seconds of no reply you changed your question. 

“Are you sleeping?” 

“No.” 

The short, blunt answer startled you as you were still expecting to get nothing back from him. You were happy he was with you now, that he had come to your apartment. Something was clearly bothering him, and maybe a stranger wouldn’t have been able to tell, but luckily for Javi, you weren’t a stranger. Far from it. 

“Do you try to sleep?” It was a stupid question, but one you needed to ask. You knew his habits, he could spend all night out in a bar or a brothel to avoid sleep if he wanted to. The latter being one that brought a nasty taste to your mouth. 

“Not any more.” As you had expected. 

“Javi, you need to try.” Your voice was soft. 

“I have tried.”

“Try again then.” 

The lights of the buildings of Bogotá were bright against the inky blackness of the night sky. Your curtains were still open showing the proof that it was late. You had been sitting in each other's company for a while.

Javi saw you looking up at the window, and instantly felt guilt at keeping you up too. Just because he wasn’t planning on sleeping tonight, doesn’t mean that he has to stop you too. 

“I should go Y/N.” 

Bringing your attention back to Javi, he seemed to look even worse than he did a few minutes ago. There was no way you were going to let him out of your apartment to go and do God knows what until tomorrow morning when he would start the self-destructive cycle all over again. 

“No, I want you to stay. Please.” 

“Why? You need to go to sleep and I’m keeping you up.” Javi removed himself from your sofa and took steps towards your door. 

“Javi, look at me.” He did stop and brought his gaze to yours. “Would you sleep if you stayed here?”

Your question threw him slightly. It was something he had never considered as to him, that would be a huge imposition on you. But now you were the one to mention it, maybe it would work. He had nothing to lose in the sleep department. He either would, or he wouldn’t. Yet, he also had a lot else to lose. Staying here, in your apartment, knowing you were lying peacefully only a room away, had so many domestic connotations. That was a reason he had never considered staying at yours ever, because could he put himself through that? The magnetic pull he felt around you would be ever harder to resist if he said yes. 

As soon as he let himself slip just once, it would be harder the next time. And then all his worries of keeping you safe and out of his complicated, dangerous life would manifest into reality.

“You can sleep in my room and I will have the sofa. I really don’t mind.” 

Your eyes were pleading him to stay. 

“Thank you. But I can’t. But thank you.” 

Trying not to look at you again, Javi left your apartment before you could try any harder to convince him to stay. 

+  +  +

The next time Javi knocked on your apartment door, it was much later in the evening. You had even been lying in bed for the past half an hour reading. The knocking on your door had startled you considering the hour.

“Javi, what-” 

“Can I take you up on your offer?” He was leaning against the door frame in a way to hold himself up. His body language screamed of fatigue. You wondered how his day had gone. Had he been on a stakeout? Had it been dangerous? 

“What offer?” You were confused for a moment. 

“Sleep… here.” It almost pained him to admit he wanted the comfort and safety of your apartment. 

Your eyes widened when you finally realised what “offer” he was referring to and opened your door further to let him in. 

“I don’t want to bother you at all.” Javi started, wandering over to your couch. “You won’t even know I’m here, apart from the fact I’ll be on your couch.” He let himself fall heavily down onto the cushions. 

“Javi it’s fine don’t worry. You can have my bed if you want and I’ll sleep out here.” You walked to the linen cupboard to reach down a spare pillow and blanket.

Even before he entered your apartment he knew you would say this, and he had planned what he would say in return. There was no way he was going to have you give up your own bed. He was the one imposing on you. 

He hadn’t even consciously realised he was at your door until you had opened it to reveal you wearing pyjama shorts and a tank top. You found it hard to sleep sometimes in the Colombian heat. The amount of skin on show surprised Javi, making him even more aware of your presence. The thrill of the idea of running his hands over every part of your exposed skin was intoxicating. If he wasn’t so utterly exhausted he may have done. Soft. That’s the first word that came to mind upon seeing you in cozy clothing. 

“No, I’m fine here, honestly.” At least Javi had the strength to fight you on this. 

You considered him for a moment, weighing up your points for a good counter argument, but he had already made himself comfortable. Instead, you just handed him the pillow and blanket. 

“Thank you, hermosa.” Javi drawled lazily shoving the pillow underneath his dark hair. 

The nickname didn’t go unnoticed. Your Spanish was good enough to know what he had called you. You wanted to revel in it, allow yourself a small bit of joy that he used that word to address you. Until you remembered that you probably weren’t the first, or last, girl to be called that by Javier Peña. 

“Goodnight Javi.” You saw he had already closed his eyes. And for the first time in weeks you could finally describe him as peaceful. You were going to ask him about his day at work, to try and work out what had finally made him come to you, but by doing so now you would only disturb his peace. 

+   +   +

You woke suddenly, and surprised yourself by the blackness of your room. It still wasn’t morning yet. Your phone read 4:32. 

Remembering Javi was in your apartment, you had the urge to see if he was actually asleep. Was being here actually giving him any respite against his insomnia? 

Trying not to make any noise, you crept to your bedroom door and opened it as quietly as possible. From here you could see his figure lying still on the sofa. A thin sliver of light from in between the drawn curtains shed a small amount of light into the main room. You could tell from the slow and rhythmic rise and fall of his chest that he was in fact, asleep. 

Smiling to yourself you closed the door again and retreated back into the darkness.

+   +   +

Javi sleeping on your couch sometimes became routine very quickly. 

You had got used to leaving the pillow and blanket there every evening, as more often than not he would turn up to use it. You liked it, it was nice knowing where he was, and even nicer to know that when he needed someone, he came to you. 

When you offered him your spare key he was incredibly reluctant to take it. You wanted him to have it so he could come and go as he pleased at night. You knew staying at his own apartment wasn’t working for him, so you wanted to give him freedom in another safe space. 

Eventually, he did accept the key, and sometimes he did use it. Whether that be to leave and come back at night for something, or to let himself in if you had gone out for the evening. You would come back to find him passed out in your living room, the curtains still open giving the tranquil scene an urban backdrop. You would creep around him and close them silently, before retiring to your own bed. 

Amazingly, you found your sleep had improved too. Although some nights you were more aware of the man in your apartment with you. Knowing he was in the other room was soothing, but at the same time maddening. The fact that you were too good friends meant you could never offer your own bed to him, with you still in it. No matter how much you wanted to. So you just were content with knowing that you were helping a friend. Javi had started to look better even from the first night he had spent at yours, something that only got better with time. 

One night was very different though. 

You had just finished eating dinner at the little breakfast bar in your kitchen when Javi practically stumbled into your apartment. At first you thought he was drunk, but then it became apparent that something else ailed him. There was a horrible purple bruise on the side of his face. 

“Javi!” As soon as you saw him you ran towards him and helped him to sit down. 

“I’m fine, it’s fine.” 

“Well it’s obviously not.”

You cautiously brought the tips of your fingers to the afflicted skin. He winced as you touched it - just as you thought. It wasn’t fine. 

“What happened?” Your voice was almost a whisper. You knew what he did for a job, you knew it was dangerous, but only now were you seeing that with your own eyes. In all the time you’d known Javi, you had seen him get into a few scrapes but nothing as bad as this. The bruise covered from next to his right eye all the way down his cheek. 

“One of Escobar’s sicarios had a gun, which ran out of ammo, so he used it in another way.” 

You were still inspecting the damage. There was no obvious swelling so icing it wouldn’t do anything now. Rest is what he needed. 

“Please tell me you managed to get a few punches in too.”

“Unluckily for him, my gun was working perfectly.”

“Ah…” You wondered how the other guy managed to get so close.

Javi turned to look you dead in the eye. Your face was already so close to his and the close proximity almost winded you. You had always been fascinated by his dark brown eyes. You hadn’t known anyone to have eyes as dark but still so lovely to look at, because they were so warm, and comforting. Yet, there was something else that was there too. Something that may be considered wary or even haunted. What had Javi witnessed as part of his job? 

Neither of you had said anything for a few moments, however neither of you had made a move to shift away from each other.  

“Has work been a lot like this recently?” He could still hear your whisper even though you could barely hear yourself. 

“Yeah it’s been… difficult lately.” 

“You are so brave and strong though Javi.” He winced at your words. “I hope you don’t mind me saying that.” 

“I don’t, not from you. You’re just wrong.” 

“No I’m not. You are, even if you don’t believe it.” You allowed your words to be flooded with determination. You hated that he thought this way about himself. 

Javi leant forwards and instinctively put his head in his hands. He winced again at the contact. The affection you felt for him in that moment was overwhelming. 

“Does it hurt a lot?”

“Not really, I feel more dizzy than anything.”

“You need to go to the hospital.”

“No I don’t. Cause for one, this was an unauthorised stakeout.”

“Javi.” 

“Y/N please, just let me rest.” 

Putting everything else aside and prioritising Javi’s well-being you found yourself saying, “Come and lie down on my bed.” The couch was no place for someone injured. 

You briefly saw a flash of worry cross his face. Was the thought of lying on your bed so bad? 

You helped him up and he leant on you on the way into your bedroom. He kicked off his shoes at the door and you allowed him to lie on his back. 

“You know you shouldn’t be left alone.” 

“I know, that’s why I came here, because I know you would watch out for me.” 

You were now lying on your side next to him, and upon hearing that you felt a blush creep into your cheeks. You would always watch out for him. You were glad he knew that. 

“You should rest.” You moved to get up but a strong arm caught your arm. 

“Stay please.” 

“I was only going to get the blanket to sleep on the floor in here.”

“No I mean, stay here. Please.” His hand was still wrapped around your forearm. 

“Ok.” You agreed, and settled back onto the bed, bringing the sheets up over the both of you. 

“Goodnight Javi.” You said softly, for what felt like the millionth time recently. That in itself was soothing. 

“Goodnight Y/N.” 

Every cell in your body was on fire as you could feel his body heat radiating through your bed. You wanted to reach out and have some physical contact with him. Nevertheless, you knew he needed rest, and you were only friends, so there were boundaries. You rolled over to give him space and willed yourself to sleep. 

+   +   +

The first thing you thought when you woke up was how warm you were. Not an uncomfortable heat, just nice warmth. 

Javi’s arm was around you. 

Sometime through the night he had moved so his chest was up against your back. The muscles of his arm were strong and solid. You wondered if he had moved consciously, or unconsciously. You couldn’t decide which was better. He was definitely still asleep though, as the rhythm of his breathing was even and shallow. 

You, consciously, snuggled back into his embrace, and could feel yourself dozing off again until you were startled by movements from him. Javi’s arm tightened around you even more and he moved so his face was nestled into your neck, you could feel his nose lightly touching your skin. 

You couldn’t help but grin. You thought about all the times he had slept in your apartment but not in your room with you - it was a waste. You’d both been missing out on this. Maybe in Colombia this was the closest feeling to home you both of you would get. 

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