#the only thing that's real is us

[hillarydiangelo]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42691899/chapters/107246025

Fic rec fairy

I will read!! I miss Peter and Sylar. Thank you so much ❤ Feel safe to message me if you'd like to chat about this, love for you

[duinoelegies]

something so crazy-making about unhealthy mentor-protegé relationships. we're foils, we're mirrors, we're the same person, we're a parent and a child, we're lovers, we're enemies, we'd be better off without each other, we'd kill and die for each other

[raticalshoez]

Was thinking of my post about dream teams and got really invested in whatever Unrequited Hate has going on

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[lurking-loaf]

It's essential to teach them color theory when they're young so they understand how to mix colors. How else will you get art that's good enough for the fridge?

Day 6 of DCA Promptober - hues plus bonus animation of Sun imitating the Mac's wait cursor aka the Spinning Beach Ball of Doom

[thefieryeclipse]

Deep down, below abilities and betrayals and heartbreaks and too many wrong choices, they were always more similar than anyone, even each other, ever knew <3

'The only thing that's real is us'

Two sides of the same coin.

[buttercupshands]

can you even call it a warm up if I'm going to bed without drawing anything big

and a sketch I made while sitting in the park today

[lazylittledragon]

one of my last fake skin practices before they set me loose on my own flesh >:))

i also did some beautiful stippling on the web but i forgot to take a photo so you just have to trust that i did it

[wyvernity]

been thinking about the sinnohtrio lately......plus misc other stuff

also, casual ko-fi drop!! get something in this sketchy style starting at $10 woop woop

[linkemaus]

Not to be that person, but if Kamala Harris were a white man with the exact same ideals, positions, and beliefs, it wouldn’t have even been a competition. Realising that the worst thing you can apparently be is a woman, is truly devastating.

[bunnieswithknives]

Alive Beetlejuice AU that I am rotating in my brain rn. He is so so bad at acting human, he doesn't even bother looking the part and he has no idea how much money is worth.

[unpretty]

my plan for next year is to put a star sticker on every day that i don't buy anything, in the hopes that this will encourage me to no longer run to the store for a single missing ingredient and then buy some treats as long as i'm there to make the trip worth it

[superkirbylover]

peppino and noise character studies

in this essay i will explain why i am the only one to understand these characters

[ryssbelle]

Take it away penny!

[proselles]

What I don't get is why news outlets and Netflix are trying to convince us that arcane was expensive to make. 250 million usd for both seasons they said, and obviously that's a lot of money, but they make the mistake of comparing it to big budget movies like Tangled. So you're telling me that I got an animated masterpiece that combines multiple different art styles fantastic voice acting and creative and passionate writing, that's 6-7 hours LONGER than major animated movies, and its the same fucking price?? And you're expecting me to agree with the corporations outlook, that it's too expensive? Yes, tangled is considered one of the most expensive animated movies, but arcane is like FOUR Tangleds. Many other 3D animated movies fall within the 160 million mark, but again, they're hours shorter than arcane was. I think the prices are comparable. I believe in saw someone (on reddit maybe?) divide the cost down to minutes of screen time for each show or movie and it becomes really obvious. I'm also pretty sure that many of these movie budgets do not include marketing in their overall expenses; arcane does.

This isnt even bringing live action tv shows into the equation; i dont think arcane even touches like the top thirty of those. And yet it's framed as such an expense!! Bitch its an incredibly successful tv show!! Ik Netflix is cheap as shit and has its own reputation to grapple with, but is the disdain for animation so much? Is it disdain for female lead action, for poc representation, for LGBT rep on screen? For the animation medium as a whole? I know the answer of course. But it's still very upsetting to acknowledge and think about.

Separately, arcane is absolutely crushing it. Ik act three is going to knock it out of the ballpark. Keep crushing corporate execs expectations please.

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Just wondering...do you think David thought-spoke privately with Visser Three in #48 and told him the Andalite Bandits were human and that's why he starts looking in #49? Because that's my headcanon

Oh man, I do NOT know what to make of #48, but I do like this take. If David dropped V3 that hint, and if V3 saw mecha-Rachel as a distorted but still human-looking morpher, I could get behind this.

And you're right that Visser Three is the barrier to figuring out the andalite bandits are human. As early as #4 the kids overhear Temrash 114 and Iniss 226 debating: "is Visser Three wrong? What if they're not Andalites at all?"/ ... "Visser Three wrong? Maybe. But I'm not the fool who's going to try and tell him." Heck, as early as #1 the yeerks are looking for "some kids who were shooting off fireworks in the construction site", and presumably they don't mean andalite kids. So like, clearly some of the controllers are at least open to the possibility of human morphers. The only thing stopping a full-scale human morpher search is Visser Three a) having TWO of the galaxy's biggest andalite supremacists in his brain, and b) having absolute power over the Earth invasion.

So I've always headcanoned that some technician controllers start looking for irrefutable proof of human morphers as early as Elfangor's death, and that it just takes them ~2.5 years to come up with something ironclad. Ax's presence may have slowed the process — he's obviously an andalite and not just someone in morph as Elfangor — and Tobias's ability to stay "in morph" for 2+ hours and to go directly from being "in morph" to a different morph almost certainly muddied the waters. But yeah, maybe it's not that the technicians finally persuaded Visser Three; maybe Crayak engineered it that way.