#the only thing that made Six of Crows not an A+ for me were the moments of idk YA Smarminess

[stormears]

I just read the 5ish page prologue to "Ninth House" by Leigh Bardugo and I already feel that she is a genius wordsmith writing swordswoman and I can't fuckin believe I let this book sit on my shelf for months. I just picked it up at a Home Goods and ignored it bc I'm STUPID

[takamimami]

Heaven in Hiding

Pairing: Keigo Takami x fem!reader (use of Y/N)

This one-shot was inspired by a fan art drawing I saw on TikTok by x.4haru and also some KadeArt pics - The NightHawks brainrot is so real. (Kadeart inspo: here, here, & here :3)

CW: SMUT; praise kink, orgasm delay/denial, cum play, choking, 'Sir' kink, dacryphilia, degradation kink, slight consensual non-consent, brat taming 0_o, yakuza/gang affiliations, references to drugs --- word count: 10.9k

🔞NSFW; MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS KEEP IT MOVING🔞

Summary: Enigma (e•nig•ma) A person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand. Your night out goes just as you wanted it to, but not with the person you’d expected.

The wind had a bitter bite to it as it blew your jacket open, sending a brisk chill through your whole body. The rain had picked up a bit, causing you to pick up your walking pace as well. Easier said than done, however, given that the black stilettos you chose to wear tonight were nearly six inches high and the matching bodycon dress was threatening to ride up your thigh and expose your ass. You cursed yourself for your attire choice at this moment, knowing that it was your tipsy and single brain that told you to dress this way. It didn't help that the only free parking was nearly a block away from your destination. 

"Let's go to Camelot," they said.

"It will be fun," they said.

"We can meet some 'lookers'," they said. 

Well, you were still hoping that the last part would be true. It had been a hot minute since you had seen any sort of action, and being that you just got off your period, you were hoping to be humping something other than your pillow tonight. 

You shook your head at your impure thoughts keeping your head down to not ruin the makeup that adorned your face. You noticed a few black feathers strewn on the ground in front of an alleyway, most likely from crows that frequented the busy alleys. As you neared your destination you felt eyes on you, and you nervously scanned the area to make sure you were in the right place. You were relieved to see the entrance to the club just up ahead, indicated to you by the big lit-up pillars with "CAMELOT" written on each one. There was a line of people stretched down the sidewalk, but luckily your friend had connections with the owner and got you on the VIP list, claiming it was your "birthday". You walked past the waiting crowd, a few catcalls and whistles faintly heard over the sound of the city accompanied by the bass you assumed was coming from inside the club. You ignored them and rolled your eyes as you made your way up to the bouncers, one of which was holding a clipboard and a flashlight. 

"You on the list?"

You nodded your head and gave him your name, as well as fetched your ID out of your wallet and handed that over to him. 

"Ah, the 'birthday girl'," he said, waving his air quotations so you could see them. You blushed slightly before he continued, "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me."

You thanked him as he lifted the barrier so you could enter the club, the upbeat music blaring in your ears as soon as you opened the door.

The inside of the club was dimly lit, with colored lights leading your way down the dark hallway towards the much brighter bar. Once you got down the end of the hallway you scanned the bar area for your friends, praying you weren't the first person there. The entire area was furnished in brown leather, with comfortable-looking booths and lavishly cushioned seats replacing the typical bar stools you'd expect to see at a club. All of the walls were lined with mirrors, causing the flashing lights from the dance floor to bounce vibrantly throughout the entire venue. The dance floor was as crowded as ever, which made sense given it was a Saturday night. You recognized the song blaring over the speakers as one from the K-Pop group BTS. Dynamite, was it?

Your thoughts were abruptly interrupted by an average height man bumping into you, causing you to stumble a bit. He quickly turned around to look your way, nearly spilling the whiskey in his cup as he did so. You could smell the liquor on his breath, indicating he was probably a couple of glasses in so far.

"Hey there, sexy thang! My apologies!" His voice was somehow louder than the blaring music in the background. You could hardly recognize him at first, but you couldn't mistake the long blonde hair. It was relaxed and back in a loose hanging bun, as opposed to his usual spiked updo. Hizashi Yamada, a well-known DJ in the area, was most likely here for a gig.

He brought his orange glasses down to the brim of his nose as he looked you up and down, "So what brings a hot chick like you out alone on a night like this?"

You nearly giggled at how corny he sounded hitting on you, "I- I'm here with some friends to celebrate my uh, birthday."

He noticed your increased awkwardness and scanned the room before leaning in to speak in a bit of a hushed tone, "Don't worry sweet cheeks, I'm not hitting on you. My partner over there would beat my ass if I was," he motioned over to a tall black-haired man standing at the bar, ordering a drink. His hair was pulled back in a half-up, half down 'do. The bartender handed him a couple of drinks and he turned in our direction, giving Hizashi a glare as he saw us looking in his direction. 

"Well, that's my queue to go, don't wanna keep the hubby waiting," he nudged you in the side, a laugh escaping his lips. "Oh, and happy birthday!"

Just as quickly as he appeared, he disappeared in the crowd in the direction of his partner. You smiled to yourself as you turned in the opposite direction of him, scanning the crowd for any familiar faces. Giving up, you made your way over to the bar, pulling your phone out as you made your way there. To your surprise, you had two unread messages from your best friend.

Hey, I’m running a little late! Traffic is absolute shit. You there yet?

Should be there in 10. Order me a shot of Patrón, kay?

As you were reading the second message, a third one came through.

Parking now! See you soon, hot stuff!

You smiled and replied with a simple 'Yay!' and several dancing emojis before sliding your phone back into your jacket pocket. You made it to the bar and quickly ordered a shot of your favorite liquor, needing something to ease the slight headache forming at the base of your neck. As you waited for your drink you turned around, surveying the venue a little more. There was a group of women in the booth nearest you, all of which looked to be in their early 20's. A few were posing for pictures together, and others were making goo-goo eyes at some men across the bar from them, making you chuckle to yourself a little bit. The booth directly next to them was full of men in dark suits, all sipping dark liquor and looking around, almost suspiciously. You quickly averted your eyes over to a man in his late 20's/early 30's using his water manipulation quirk to impress some girls by pouring their drinks without using his hands.

Your people-watching was abruptly cut short by a pair of golden eyes staring at you from the entrance of the club. You watched as he emerged from the darkness of the hallway, his gaze never leaving you. It took you a moment to realize that a pair of prominent black wings adorned his back, almost as majestic looking as they were sinister. He ruffled them out slightly as he shimmied his jacket off his shoulders, the bouncer to his rear grabbing it for him and removing it, and carefully maneuvering around his wings. The red button-up shirt he wore was a good contrast to the black vest and dress pants he wore, everything fitted perfectly to his toned build. He bit the index finger of his glove and slid it off, then grabbed it and did the same with the other hand, the slightly seductive action intrigued you. Something about him had your body frozen in place. You let a seductive smirk curl up on your lips, and almost immediately he did the same. 

You finally broke the intense staring game as you heard the bartender return with your shot glass. You turned around quickly and thanked them, grabbing the glass and swirling it around, staring at the liquid inside. Giving yourself a slight pep talk, you started a silent count down before tipping your head back and taking down the liquid, savoring the burn in the back of your throat.

As you sat the drink back down on the counter a masculine scent filled your nose and a smooth voice rang in your ears.

"Always nice to see a girl who can handle her liquor." 

The chuckle that rang through the air made the hairs on your arms stand up, and you pivoted on your heels only to come face to face with your long distant admirer.

"Oh c'mon, I meant that as a compliment," he joked, the cockiness in his tone about as obvious as the wings on his back. You could tell why, however, the man standing next to you was nothing short of attractive. His golden locks were all but organized, but the messiness of it seemed deliberate and added to his edge. His chiseled face matched his physique, and the tattoos painted on his forearms added to his edgy demeanor. His face was riddled in piercings, a black stud nose ring and a hooped eyebrow piercing added a harsh contrast to his smooth skin. 

"Take a photo, princess. It will last you longer."

Your cheeks went flush as you quickly averted your eyes back to the bartender, reaching out to order another shot.

Just as you opened your mouth to order, the man beside you grabbed your hand, and that's when you noticed the knuckle tattoos reading "NIGHT" peeking out from under the gunmetal rings on his fingers. You gazed down at the other hand to see the same font on those knuckles, this one reading “HAWKS”.

"We'll take two shots of Yamazaki, neat." 

You rolled your eyes, laughing at the audacity of the man now holding your hand. He looked at you inquisitively, before raising your hand to his mouth and running your knuckles over his lips lightly a few times before placing a chaste kiss on them. Something about his aura intrigued you, although all the signs pointed to that being a bad thing. You swallowed that feeling into your gut to ignore it, pulling your hand away and placing it on the bar.

"So, tell me, princess, what brings you to my neck of the woods on this wonderful night?"

You raised an eyebrow to him teasingly, " Your neck of the woods?"

The menacing smirk that curled up onto his lips indicated your unintentional teasing was working, much to your surprise. Just as he leaned forward to offer a rebuttal, a shrill squeal came from behind him, startling you both.

“Y/N!!!! Happy Birthday!”

You recognized the high-pitched voice immediately, seeing as it belonged to none other than your best friend. You rolled your eyes while simultaneously flashing her a smile. 

“You’re so full of shit,” you giggled, pulling them in for a warm hug. As you did, you noticed your new acquaintance had taken a few steps back, still eyeing you as a predator does its prey.

As you pulled away from the embrace you turned to the bartender, realizing you had forgotten to order a shot of Patrón as requested. When you did, you were as shocked as ever to hear your best friend strike up a conversation with your admirer like they were old friends.

“You just couldn’t wait to introduce yourself, could ya?”

The comment caused you to snap your head back in their direction, both of their eyes turning to you as you did.

“You know how I get around beautiful women,” he mumbled, earning him a slap on the arm in return.

She playfully shoved him before moving closer to you, “Even though you’ve clearly met, I’ll introduce you anyway. (Y/N), this is my cousin Kei-”

The conversation was abruptly interrupted by your hand being grabbed and you being pulled away quickly.

“My name is Enigma, princess. You’ll wanna remember that for later tonight.” 

The sly smirk on his face was almost too much for you to handle as a chuckle escaped your lips. You weren’t sure what was more comical, the nickname, or his comment.  Before you could offer a witty comeback, your best friend grabbed your arm and pulled you back over to them.

“Yeah, yeah, Enigma. We got some dancing to do,” they giggled as they threw back their awaiting shot and pulled you to the dance floor. You followed their lead and took down your awaiting whiskey shot and rushed to the dance floor, leaving Enigma alone at the bar, the menacing look returning to his eyes as you walked away.

“So what’s the deal with your cousin?”

After making your way to the middle of the dance floor, your best friend turned around and smiled at you.

“Why, you think he’s hot?”

You weren’t sure if your face was hot from embarrassment or the drinks, but before you could reply they nudged your shoulder playfully.

“I’m just messing with you. His dad is my mom’s brother. He’s a cocky little shit, but he’s good people. He’s always been there for me since we were kids. He’s also always been our grandfather’s favorite, so I rarely get to see him since he joined the family business.”

You nodded, a little more interested, “How come you’ve never talked about him before?”

“He and my grandfather are very private people. They don’t come around too often, especially now that my grandfather’s health has declined a bit.”

You nodded, and just as you were about to reply, your favorite Megan Thee Stallion song began blaring over the speakers, so you opted to start dancing instead.

The next hour or so was a blur for you, feeling the two shots you took back to back working their way through your system. You couldn’t shake the feeling of having eyes on you at all times, but every time you scanned the room for Enigma, you couldn’t find him. 

You shook off the feeling once again and continued dancing, not sure who your best friend had gone off with. You felt a body come up behind you and introduce themselves, the music blaring so loud you couldn’t even make it out. You smiled and tried introducing yourself as well before turning around and swaying your hips to the rhythm of the song playing. 

Everything was fine for a moment, but then the gentle hand on your hip turned into two hands gripping your ass, and you began to feel uncomfortable. You tried to pull away from the stranger, but instead, they pulled you back into them aggressively, grinding their groin roughly on you. You were ready to throw an elbow in their direction and curse them out before a flash of black clouded your vision and you felt yourself finally get the separation you desired. 

“Hey man, I don’t think the lady wants you dry-humping her on the dance floor.”

You recognized the voice from earlier. Enigma stood before you, his hand firmly gripping your forearm, keeping you separated from the man who was groping you moments ago. 

The man looked between the two of you a few times before leaning into Enigma, a challenging expression written all over his face.

“And just who are you to decide that?”

Instead of retaliating, you saw Enigma fluff out his left-wing and motion down at his waistband. You saw the man's eyes move from Enigma’s face to the waistband, his eyes widening slightly before meeting Enigma’s eyes again. 

Someone who must’ve been a friend of his came up behind him and patted him on the shoulder, clearly witnessing what had transpired so far. You thought you heard him tell the groper it wasn’t worth the trouble, but before you had the chance to process it you saw an unknown dark-colored drink come flying in your direction. You weren’t sure if you saw everything clearly, but he seemed to also be reaching for what you assumed was the gun on Enigma’s hip.

A commotion ensued as Enigma pulled you into him, wrapping his left wing around you to shield you. You peeked out from behind it to see two bodyguards grab the man you had been dancing with and drag him off the dance floor and out a door that was in the opposite direction of the exit.

Turning to face you, Enigma scanned you up and down, inspecting you for any injury.

“Are you alright, princess?”

You don’t know how or why, but a wave of calm washed over you as he held you close, the pet name he sang sending the butterflies in your stomach into a frenzy.

“Yeah, it’s just a drink, I’m not that fragile,” you retorted, almost feeling half bad for your involuntary sarcasm.

He only reacted with a warm smile as he ushered you off the dance floor, “Come with me, let’s get you cleaned up.” 

You followed him back behind the DJ booth and into a doorway, you could barely tell was there, the only indication of it being there was the door handle and the ‘Authorized Personnel’ sign. He held the door open for you before leading you down a hallway and up some stairs, his gentle hand never leaving yours. You were grateful for his help, as the mixture of the alcohol and these heels did not make it an easy staircase to scale.

“Watch your foot on the top step, it’s a little higher than the others,” he instructed as he stood at the top of the staircase, watching you intently to assure you made it up alright. He then opened another door for you, this time leading into a dim-lit lounge.

“Thank you,” your voice almost came out in a whisper, taking in your surroundings as you entered the new room. Cigar smoke and marijuana immediately filled your nose, the smell actually more pleasant than you’d expected. 

You felt Enigma’s hand fall from yours only to rest on your hip as he led you further into the room. You passed a few gentlemen dressed similarly to Enigma, only most of them wore black from head to toe. None of them even so much as offered you a glance as the two of you made your way over to a booth near the corner of the room. As you sat down you noticed the entire wall to your left was a one-way mirror, making it so that you could see the entire dance floor from just above the DJ booth. 

Enigma whistled to one of the men behind the small bar, asking him for a towel.

“Sure thing, Boss.” 

He quickly dipped behind the bar and popped up with a towel, tossing it to Enigma, who then turned around to face you. Much to your surprise, he went down onto his knee and grabbed your foot, cleaning off your shoes and the drink that had splashed down your leg. He then handed the towel to you as he stood up so you could finish drying yourself off. 

“Good thing I wore black tonight,” you joked, laughing off the events that just unfolded. You tilted your head to look up at Enigma, a semi-concerned look still plastered on his face. 

You stood up, the liquid courage still running its course through your body. You leaned in slightly, placing a subtle peck in his cheek, catching him off guard.

You didn’t say anything, just watched his expression as a smirk curled upon his lips. When he didn’t reply, you offered up your explanation.

“Your reward for saving me back there,” you admitted shyly. You weren’t normally this forward with a complete stranger, however, something about him made you feel at ease.

“Well, I hope there’s more where that came from,” his voice came out just above a whisper, the octave of his voice lower than it was previously.

You smirked at him before looking away, gazing out at the crowd down below. “People watching must be really easy from up here,” you muttered, turning your head back to glare at Enigma. In response he let out a low chuckle, raising his hands and shaking his head.

“It does have its perks, I’ll admit.”

You shake your head in response, not caring enough to take that conversation any further.

“So, what did my cousin tell you about me?”

Your cheeks immediately flared up, but you maintained your eye contact with him. 

“They told me you’re good people, and that you’ve always been there for them when they needed you.”

He nodded and moved his gaze to the floor, “Yeah, they’re right about the last part.”

You tilted your head, “Are you saying you’re not good people?”

He kept his gaze on the floor a moment as if he was pondering his reply. Then he lifted his head enough to make eye contact with you, changing the tone in his voice to a more serious one.

“Depends who you ask.” 

The two of you kept your eye contact for a brief moment before a voice interrupted it, calling Enigma over to the other side of the room. He shifted his weight a bit as if he was going to walk away, but he turned his head back around to you before he did so.

“I’ll be right back, princess. Duty calls,” he sang the ending of his statement, adding that you should order the two of you some drinks for when he returned.

You nodded and made your way over to the little bar, the bartender busy cleaning glasses with his back turned to you. You cleared your throat and ordered two shots of Yamazaki, just as Enigma had for you downstairs. You figured that was the safest bet, given you had no clue what liquor he preferred.

“The Boss’ favorite, smart girl,” the bartender joked with you, “So how’d you end up as the Boss’ date?”

You laughed to yourself, wondering the same thing. “Your guess is as good as mine.”

The slender, blonde man behind the counter looked up at you, his eyes scanning you up and down a few times before snickering.

“Heard you’re friends with the Boss’ cousin, Kami’s granddaughter. It’d be nice to see you around here more.” 

The smile on his face was genuine, making you show off one of your own. 

“Who’s Kami,” you inquired, “If you don’t mind me asking.”

He looked up and scanned the room before looking back at you, leaning in slightly before answering. 

“The big Boss, Enigma’s grandfather. He’s the owner of this club, Enigma just started taking over for him ever since his health’s gone downhill,” he answered, setting the drinks down on the counter in front of you.

You recalled the conversation you had with your best friend regarding that. You were about to inquire further on how he knew about you when a door on the opposite side of the room shutting grabbed your attention. 

Enigma, along with three hefty-looking men, walked back into the room, grimacing looks on all of their faces. He removed his gloves in the same fashion he did the first time you laid eyes on him, but this time he wasn’t looking in your direction. He scanned the room before his eyes landed on you, his face immediately softening.

Something about the vibe in the room had shifted, and you could tell there was something you weren’t in the loop on, but you didn’t have the gut to ask about it. Not yet, anyway.

Enigma made his way over to you, discarding his gloves on a nearby table as he walked. As he got to the bar, he grabbed your hand tenderly and brought your knuckles to his lips for another chaste kiss. 

“What did I miss?”

You smirked and grabbed the drink from the countertop, sipping it lightly as he cocked an eyebrow in response.

“We were talking about you,” you replied slyly, bringing the glass back up to your lips. 

Enigma’s eyebrow cocked even further, “That so? Well, I guess if I’m gonna have a wingman, I’d prefer it be you, Yagi.”

You saw a proud smile curl up on the bartender’s face as he extended his hand in Enigma’s direction, offering him a joint. Enigma grabbed the joint and stuck it between his lips as you watched, the swift motions he made mesmerizing you. Once he lit the spliff he took a hard drag before handing it back to Yagi behind the bar. He let the smoke escape his lips and sucked it up into his nostrils before turning his head away from you and exhaling. After taking a hit himself Yagi extended his hand to you, though you respectfully declined, not wanting to mix your vices. 

Enigma looped his arm back around your waist and pulled you back in the direction of the booth. The two of you sat across from each other, as if in a business meeting. You talked for what felt like hours about anything and everything, your childhood, parents, favorite restaurants, and everything in between. The occasional interruption occurred, but it never lasted for more than a few moments. 

You learned he was an only child, his mother was abusive and his father was often in trouble with the law, so he was mostly raised by his grandfather. You also learned he had dreamt of being a hero, but that learning the truth about one of his idols changed his entire outlook on life. You also found out that he was born with red wings, but an encounter with an old friend left him with burns on 75% of his body and nearly burnt them off, causing them to grow back black in color. 

“Honestly, I kinda like it more,” he admitted, the two of you now onto your third drink since coming up to the lounge. You were cursing yourself for doing so, knowing if you tried to stand on your own right now you surely wouldn’t be able to walk straight.

“It's getting late, I should probably get back to your cousin,” you started, noticing the time.

Enigma placed a hand over yours, attempting to reassure you. 

“She left about an hour ago, found some guy to take home with her,” he chuckled, noticing a worried expression on your face. “Don’t worry, we checked him out before they left.”

You weren’t sure what that meant, but the liquor in your system allowed you to shake it off easier than you usually would. You could tell you were getting tired, and it must have been obvious because Enigma offered to have you driven home so you made it home safely. 

You agreed, handing over your keys and letting him know where you were parked. He handed them over to a tall man in a dark grey suit, who quickly disappeared down the hall towards the exit.

“Do you mind if I show you something first?”

The question, as innocent as it was, ignited a fire deep in your core, sending the butterflies in your stomach into a frenzy. You nodded and gladly took his hand, your knees a bit wobbly as you stood.

He led you down a hallway to an elevator, one that requires a passcode for entry. He entered it quickly and the doors opened, the lights inside illuminating the entire hallway. Enigma wrapped an arm around your waist and helped you into the elevator, noticing that you were a little less steady than you had been at the beginning of the night. 

The two of you rode the elevator all the way up past the 29th floor, the penthouse button lighting up as you reached your destination. You stepped out of the elevator into a lavish suite, the sight before you was overwhelming. Dark hardwood floors and structures contrasted beautifully with the white amenities and furniture. Before you had time to fully admire everything, you were whisked away towards the back wall of the suite, which was actually floor-to-ceiling windows. With the flick of a switch, the curtains covering the windows swung open, revealing a walk-out patio with an infinity pool and a gorgeous recreational space. You were speechless as Enigma opened the door to the patio and led you out into the chilly night. You clutched at his forearm as the two of you made your way out to the ledge, looking over the city. 

“Are you scared of heights?” He looked down at you smiling, noticing you clutching his arm tighter the closer you got to the ledge. 

“Only when I’m drunk,” you replied, snorting slightly as you let out a laugh at your own poor joke.

The city below you was as busy as ever, even though it was getting close to the early morning hours at this point. All the lights made it seem just as bright as if the sun was out, but the dark Shibuya skyline added a layer of beauty to it all. 

“Sometimes when life gets crazy I like to just sit out here and gather my thoughts. It’s my little escape,” he started, your eyes still fixated on the busy city below. The wind picked up slightly, a gust blowing open your jacket slightly. You felt Enigma wrap his wing around you as it did, blocking you from the cool breeze.

You found your gaze slowly shifting to the man holding you, admiring his features even closer than you had earlier. You noticed what looked like a few faded scars on his cheek, and you also noticed that he had a plethora of ear piercings on both ears.

Enigma turned his head to meet your gaze, the two of your staring at each other for what felt like an eternity. After a few moments of waiting for him to make a move, you let out a gentle laugh before whispering a request.

“If you’re gonna kiss me, you should probably do it before my ride gets here.”

Within a split second of you finishing your last word his lips were on you, a warm and somehow familiar feeling washing over you. The kiss was simple at first, a gentle lip-lock with a slight tilt of the head on your part to deepen it. Things quickly picked up, however, and it wasn’t long before his tongue and teeth were nipping at your bottom lip, begging for entrance. You parted your lips ever so slightly, granting it to him gladly. The taste of liquor on his tongue accompanied by the masculine scent coming from his clothes was driving all of your senses wild and you knew it was obvious. Your tongues continued to battle over dominance as he leaned down slightly to grab at the back of your things and lift you off the ground. You wrapped your legs around his waist tightly, feeling your stiletto heels fall to the floor. You took advantage of the fact that you were now looking down on him slightly to take control of the kiss, sucking and biting at his bottom lip before continuing to dance your tongue around his.

It only took a moment for the two of you to be back inside the loft, causing you to cast away your jacket as you felt your body temperature increasing by the second. You felt Enigma stop moving momentarily when suddenly he let go of you completely, dropping you down onto the couch. Between the sensation causing your stomach to drop and the heated makeout session taking place, you were completely out of breath. You relaxed down into the cushions to catch your breath momentarily as you watched Enigma unbuttoning his vest and shirt, exposing his toned torso. You admired the tattoos scattered across his chest, some leading to his back and neck, none of which you cared to make out at this point. The only ones you could distinguish were the wings on his forearms, which were reminiscent of his own. 

You were pulled from your daydream by a hand grabbing hold of your chin, lifting your lips back to his. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down onto you, his arms coming down on either side of you to not crush you underneath him. Once he got his balance back he lifted his hands to explore your body, tracing every curve lightly with them.

You weren’t ready for it, but he abruptly pulled away from you, causing you to whimper from the loss of contact. He looked you deep in the eyes, his eyelids hanging lower than they had previously.

“Now, i-I think it’s quite obvious here that I want to fuck t-the absolute shit out of you,” he stuttered, still trying to steady his breathing. “But, as any true gentlemen would, I must make sure that you want the same, princess.”

His bluntness caught you only slightly off guard, mostly because you thought it was obvious that you were both in the same mindset. Again, however, the liquid courage in your system egged you on a bit more than you were used to, so instead of a simple nod you propped yourself up on your knees and pushed him down onto his back. The look of curiosity mixed with arousal on his face only egged you on even more.

“Well, you see, I had actually planned on fucking your brains out instead,” you whispered in his ear seductively, trying your best not to slur your words. You leaned back to gauge his reaction, to which he raised his hands and placed them behind his head, granting you full access to do as you pleased.

“Be my guest, your highness.”

You wasted no time in undoing his pants, requiring a little help with his belt as it proved to be much more of a challenge than you expected. The briefs were the next battle. As you pulled the waistband of them down you couldn’t help but shiver with anticipation as his erection sprung out of them enthusiastically, slapping up against his lower abdomen. You shifted your gaze up to meet his, his eyelids heavy and his proud smirk driving you absolutely wild.

Determined not to make a fool of yourself, you quickly took him in your mouth, forcing a hiss out of his lips. You focused on the area just behind the head of his cock where the head meets the base, running your tongue over it several times before bobbing your head down, taking most of him in your mouth. You pumped the base of his cock with your hand, rotating your wrist in rhythm with your head bobs. You peeked up at your lover every couple of moments to gauge his enjoyment, the furrow of his brow and his lip sucked in between his teeth giving you the assurance you needed. Every couple of bobs you would take as much of him in your mouth as you could before slowly moving your way back up to the tip, increasing your suction the closer to his head you got. The slight ‘pop’ of the suction breaking echoed through the room, and the second time you did this it elicited a throaty moan from the man before you. The third and final time you performed this act you made sure to maintain eye contact the entire way through, and by the time you reached the head of his cock his eyes had rolled back and he covered his face with his hand, mumbling profanities into his palm.

His cock fell from your mouth, and as you reached out to grab it again Enigma grabbed your chin roughly, pulling you up for a quick sloppy kiss before spinning you around, your ass now in his face and your face back in his crotch. 

“I can’t let you have all the fun,” he mumbled, lifting your dress and nipping lightly at your right ass cheek. You shivered with anticipation as he hooked his finger around the waistband of your lace thong, pulling it down just enough to give him access to your core.

You felt him hesitate momentarily, causing your anxiety to spike. You felt a sudden pressure on the top of your head, which you realized was his hand, urging you to finish what you had started. You reached out and took him in your mouth again, bobbing your head slowly. After a few moans escaped his lips you felt him place a gentle kiss on your labia, catching you off guard. After doing so a few more times you felt him run his tongue along your slit before using it to part your folds. Simultaneous moans escaped both of your lips, vibrating through each other’s respective cores and amplifying the pleasure you felt. Reaching around he hooked his arms tightly around your waist, pulling you closer to him as to allow himself deeper access. He skillfully maneuvered his way to your clit and circled it a few times, eliciting a throaty moan from you. You found it harder and harder to focus on your task at hand as he took your sensitive bud in between his teeth, rolling it around gently before continuing to dance his tongue over it. You relied heavily on your hands to compensate for your lack of concentration, pumping the base of his cock as he continued his assault on your core. You rolled your hips back into his face slightly, losing yourself to the feeling of his tongue. You felt Enigma’s moan vibrate through you as you run your tongue down the base of his cock, causing it to twitch in your hand. You took the head of his cock in your mouth, teasing it with your tongue before feeling pressure at the back of your head. You realized it was Enigma’s hand once again, his eagerness showing as he pressed your head down while slowly lifting his hips, forcing you to take all of him in your mouth.

Between his skillful tongue dancing circles around your clit and his moans sending vibrations through your whole core, you felt a tingling sense of euphoria creeping up in the pit of your stomach. Your moans were muffled by his dick at the back of your throat, which only earned you more moans in return. You threw your head back in ecstasy as your orgasm reared its head, slowly creeping up until you couldn’t contain it anymore.

“E-Enigma I-... fuck. I’m-” you were a moaning mess as you felt your hips begin to shake, your orgasm ripping through your body as your cries of profanities polluted the air in the room. You tried to continue pumping his cock, however as you did his moans only intensified your arousal. Enigma only seemed to be focused on heightening your pleasure as he locked your hips in place, keeping you steady as you rode out the final waves of your orgasm.

Your heartbeat had never felt so harsh as you rested your head on his abdomen, closing your eyes and focusing on leveling out your breathing. You felt Enigma place a gentle kiss on your labia before shimmying out from underneath you, leaving you breathless on the couch. 

Your stomach dropped as you were suddenly lifted into the air, coming face to face with your lover for the night. The proud smirk on his face set your cheeks on fire, a quiet giggle all that you could manage as a reply. You felt him pull you up further and grab ahold of your ass firmly before turning and slowly walking towards the back of the suite.

“I think that’s a point for me,” he hummed into your ear. He grabbed the lobe of your ear between his teeth and nibbled down on it playfully, a proud chuckle escaping his lips.

You remembered your declaration you recited moments ago, accepting the challenge yet again. You wiggled away from his grasp and hopped down from his arms, pushing him aggressively back down onto the couch. The look on his face was an arousing combination of shock and excitement, and it only made you want him even more. 

You made quick work of straddling him, leaning forward, and kissing him aggressively. He moaned into your mouth as you gripped his cock again, feeling the precum oozing from the tip in your palm. You smirked as you looked into his eyes seductively, lining him up with your entrance. You felt his cold hands reach around and grip your ass again, and as he did you let go of his cock and grabbed both of his hands. You held both of them together at the wrist with one hand before realigning his cock with the other and ever so slowly sliding down onto it.

Your simultaneous moans filled the air as you took him a little over halfway before stopping, bringing your hips back up to allow yourself time to adjust to him. The second time you took him all the way down, a throaty moan erupting from him below you. Your smirk only grew larger as you repeated the action, clamping down on him tightly and grinding your crotch on his as he hissed a few curses under his breath.

“Fuck, (Y/N), he groaned, “You’re so tight, princess.”

Adjusting your position slightly you switched so that your feet were firmly on the ground before increasing your pace, gripping his wrists tighter as the pleasure washed over you. 

Enigma’s head was thrown back and he was watching you with lust-filled eyes, his eyelids hanging low. You leaned down and connected your lips softly and then ever so lightly stuck out your tongue and licked his upper lip, following a trail up to the tip of his nose. You increased your speed, even more, the sound of your skin slapping filling the air. 

Enigma’s moans slowly started to become a little whiny, his enjoyment evident on his face. You ignored the growing heat in the pit of your stomach as you watched him intently, determined to even the score. You released your vice grip on his wrists and gripped the back of the couch, grinding your hips onto him harder. 

“Fuuuuuucking shit,” he hissed. A few more profanities left his lips as he reached down aggressively before slapping your left ass cheek harshly, earning a whimper from you. He traced his fingers up to your hips before gripping them tightly, leaning back a bit and rocking his hips up into you. 

“That’s it, princess, ride that dick for me,” he moaned, teetering on the edge of his climax. You heard the strain in his voice and leaned forward slightly so you were closer to his face, looking into his lust-filled eyes as you muttered your response.

“Cum for me,” you commanded, not once breaking eye contact. You dipped your head down and sucked down on his jaw, leaving little love bites down his neck as he came undone below you.

“(Y/N),” he groaned, accompanied by a thick moan. You felt his hips buck up into you as he gripped your hips even harder, pulling you down onto him with force. You felt his warmth fill you up as you continued to bounce on his cock, the angle of his hips brushing it against your g-spot effortlessly. You bottled the desire to get off for the time being as you watched Enigma’s orgasm wash over him, the look of euphoria on his face giving you a sense of accomplishment. You slowed your movements, listening to the string of curses and profanities that left his lips until you came to a complete stop. His cheeks were flush and his eyes remained closed, his head tilted back in exhaustion. You cursed your own depleted stamina as you watched his chest rise and fall while simultaneously trying to steady your own breath. You tried to stand, but your legs were too shaky to support yourself, so you stayed put.

He peeked out from under his disheveled hair, meeting your eyes and laughing to himself before averting his eyes to the ceiling.

“Well, princess… I guess that makes us even,” he said exasperated, his breathing still unsteady.

You nodded and leaned forward, placing a sweet kiss on his lips as he tucked his hands under your bottom, lifting you up once again. He shakily stood still for a moment as he regained his balance, before turning and walking in the direction he had tried to go earlier. 

You nuzzled your face into his neck as you reached the small spiral staircase, which led to the lower level of the suite, which was actually just a large bedroom. You noticed there was an entirely separate living space on the other side of the large glass partition dividing the room, but you couldn’t see much more since the room was dark aside from the light peaking in the window. As you reached the bed you felt Enigma’s grip loosen, letting you slide down from his grasp but leaving his arms around you until he was sure you had your footing. 

“You’re tired,” his voice came out just above a whisper. Your exhaustion was clearly evident as you pouted, slightly disappointed that your antics were being halted for the evening.

“Don’t worry princess, there’s always tomorrow,” he said as both of you reacted to a sound that could be heard coming from the upper level. What sounded like a buzzer could be heard faintly, causing Enigma to grab a pair of boxers from the nearby closet and throwing them on along with a button-up shirt. 

“Stay here, I’ll be back,” he commanded. Your brows furrowed up in confusion, to which Enigma placed a reassuring peck on your forehead.

“It’s probably your ride,” he joked, making you giggle in response. You watched as he scaled the staircase quickly, skipping a step with each stride. Once he was gone you dipped into the massive walk-in closet, searching for something more comfortable to slip into. After only being able to find dress shirts and button-ups, you stumbled upon a sweatshirt tucked away in a drawer and threw it on, discarding your dress and bra on the ground. You also tossed on a pair of his boxers and pranced back towards the bed, crawling under the soft duvet and sinking into the mattress. 

It wasn’t long before you heard his footsteps coming back down the staircase, only this time he was fully clothed. You gave him a puzzled look, to which he replied with a sheepish grin. 

“I’ve got some business to attend to downstairs, princess. I’ll only be gone a little while,” he said quickly, not giving you time to protest. You realized he had your phone in his hand, which he must have grabbed from your jacket pocket. He faced it towards you, signaling for you to enter your passcode. 

You hesitated for a moment, before giving in and entering it in. He quickly turned the phone back to himself, entering a phone number and saving it before handing the phone back to you.

“You’ll be more than safe up here, it's the most protected place in the whole building,” he said jokingly, though you knew he was being honest. “I’ll be back before you even realize I’m gone. If you need anything, just call that number.”

You nodded your head, albeit him feeling the need to tell you that made you slightly more uneasy. Not wanting to be nosey you swallowed the curiosity, setting your phone on the end table before settling back into the bed. You heard his footsteps getting further and further away, leaving you alone with your thoughts as you slowly drifted to sleep.

~~~

You awoke suddenly to disgruntled voices coming from the level above you. You rolled over and grabbed at your head, a sudden ache pulsating through your skull. You laid still momentarily until the pain resided, trying your best to listen in to the conversation being held in the room above. Unable to hear anything, you crawled out of bed and slowly scaled the staircase to the upper level. As you approached the doorway, the voices grew quieter before completely stopping as you entered the room.

Your confusion only grew stronger as you stood there awkwardly, not sure what to do or say. You first locked eyes with an older man, clearly in his 60’s at least, who was standing on the opposite side of the kitchen island as Enigma. He quickly averted his eyes after not recognizing you, not seeming to have a care as to who you are or why you were there. You then met Enigma’s gaze, his eyes soft as they looked over you. You noticed he had a cut on his cheekbone, which was being held shut with a thin strip of tape, and underneath it, you could see a bruise starting to form. His hair and clothes were all awry as if he had been a part of an altercation of some sort. He also had a spliff between his teeth, the marijuana smoke still lingering in the air.

So many questions came flooding in as you watched Enigma make his way over to you but you couldn’t get any out, choking on your own words. He placed another chaste kiss on your forehead as he reached you, wrapping his arm around your waist gently. You looked to him to offer some sort of explanation, but it was the old man who was the first to speak.

“I just wanted to be sure you were alright, and now that I see that you are I will be on my way,” he stated. Enigma turned to him, still holding you by his side.

“Thanks, old man, but you really shouldn’t have come all the way down here just for this.”

The old man smirked, mockingly waving his hand, “Oh, please. You know me better than that. Now, it would appear that you have company to attend to,” he said, motioning in your direction as he headed towards the door. Once he was gone you turned your attention back to Enigma, who was staring down at you with adoring eyes.

“Well, this is one hell of a way to end a first date, huh?”

You laughed at his question, shaking your head as you walked back towards the staircase. You remained silent, not sure what question to ask first. Before you could make up your mind, Enigma beat you to the punch, offering a few answers to questions you were too shy to ask.

“That guy that was feeling upon you earlier wasn’t the biggest fan of mine,” he started, pausing to see your initial reaction before continuing. “He was giving my boys a hard time after he left and insisted on talking to me face to face.” This time he took another long drag off his joint, this time inhaling hard before releasing the smoke into the air.

You kept your gaze on the floor, not sure of how to respond. You felt like he wasn’t telling you the whole truth, and that pissed you off slightly. The non-satisfactory look you gave him must have spoken for itself, because he quickly moved closer to you, grabbing the side of your face in his hand. His eyes had lost the initial glow they had when you first looked into them from across the bar and were now clouded over with a dark haze.

“Listen, the less you actually know about me, the better off you’ll be, princess.”

You laughed at how cliche he sounded, rolling your eyes obnoxiously so he was aware of your disapproval of his statement. His next action caught you off guard as he grabbed your chin roughly, holding it in place to assure you could only look him in the eyes.

“I mean it, now stop acting like a little brat, would ya?”

His eyes seemed a shade darker as he made his request. Little did he know being a brat was your most dominant personality trait. 

“Or what?”

Your challenge was met with a wicked grin stretched across Enigma’s face, his hand still holding your chin firmly. He paused momentarily to take a final drag of his spliff, blowing the smoke in your face slowly before ashing it on the nearby end table. He then led you back over to the edge of the bed and instructed you to strip before yanking you down aggressively, forcing you to drop to your knees. He sat down on the edge of the bed as you fell, undoing his pants and pulling his already semi-hard cock out. Not bothering to take off his pants he pulled your head to his crotch, slapping your cheek roughly with his cock a few times before forcing it into your mouth.

The initial hiss that left his mouth was venomous as he placed his hand on the back of your head firmly, forcing his cock to the back of your throat. Unfortunately for you, the sudden change of pace caught you a bit off guard and your gag reflexes failed you, a violent gagging sound filling the room. Enigma seemed to have found the sensation enjoyable, keeping your head down for a moment before letting you come up for air.

You gasped desperately for air as he grabbed your chin in his hand again, pulling your face up to look at him again.

“Oh c’mon princess, I know you can do better than that.”

Before you had time to react he forced his cock down your throat again, this time the gag was slightly less violent. You lasted much longer this time, breathing in through your nose as you deepthroated his cock. When you pressed your hand to his thigh to signaling you needed air yet again, he gladly obliged and pulled your head back slightly, allowing you to breathe, but not fully removing his cock from your mouth. Not a moment later he was pressing your head back down, this time his free hand coming up to pinch your nose shut as if to test how long you could truly take him. 

“That’s my good girl ,” he cooed.

As you started to hear your brain begging for oxygen you felt Enigma release his grip on your head, pushing you backward as he stood up. He allowed you to choke out a few harsh breaths before spinning you around, pressing your back up against the bed. He then grabbed your face once more and brought his cock back to your mouth, this time standing with a leg on either side of your seated body. You reached up to pump his cock and he pushed your hands away, instead of rolling his hips forward and pushing his cock into your mouth, not quite as far this time. He bucked his hips towards you at a vigorous pace, fucking your face to his heart's content. You tried choking out moans in between thrusts, but every time you did he made it a point to hit the back of your throat, causing you to gag.

Abruptly your mouth felt empty as Enigma bent over and wrapped his calloused hand just tight enough around your throat to make it hard to breathe. The wild look in his eyes excited you more than scared you, and you knew you were in for an interesting rest of your night.

“Now,” he said, his breath staggered and harsh, “You’re gonna be a good little slut for me and take all his cum in your mouth.” His words came out as a command, not a question. “But, you will not swallow until he says so, got it?”

You nodded your head, but the Enigma's brows furrow and he grabs your chin, shaking his head."

"Use your words," he barks, the command making your legs tremble.

"Yes," you breath out shakily.

"Yes, what?"

You quirk a brow before realizing the dynamic he was looking for, and deciding not to press your luck any further, you comply.

"Yes, sir."

Almost immediately following the words leaving your mouth his cock was back in it, hitting the back of your throat repeatedly as he began to fuck your face again. It wasn’t long before his thrusts became sloppy, indicating he was nearing his end. He pulled away from you slightly, grunting lightly as he began pumping his cock in your face.

“Please cum for me, sir,” you cooed, sticking your tongue back out and holding your mouth open for him. 

That encouragement was just enough to push him over the edge, his cock finding its way back into your mouth as you tasted his warm cum fill your mouth. When he finally removed his cock you collected all of his juices on your tongue, opening your mouth proudly to show you had followed instructions.

“Mhmm, such a filthy little whore,” he snickered, pulling you up to your feet and turning you to face the bed. He pulled your arms behind your back, holding them in place with one of his. You felt his breath creep up your neck as he brought his lips to your ear.

“Now, you’re gonna keep that cum in your mouth, until I allow you to swallow it, got it? I want you to savor the taste,” his command came out as a low rasp as he motioned for you to kneel on the edge of the bed. He slowly began to bend you over, spreading your legs and forcing you to arch your back slightly to allow himself easy access to your throbbing pussy.

You felt him run a finger over your slit lightly, teasing your entrance before pulling his hand away.

“Now, I already made you cum with my tongue… The question is,” he started, “Do I make you cum with my fingers or my cock next?”

His words only excited you, sending a chill up your spine as he began stroking your soaking wet pussy again with his digits. He made his way to your clit slowly, skillfully drawing circles around the sensitive bud when he found it. You then felt his fingers dip inside you, curling up just enough to graze your sensitive wall as he pumped them in and out of you. At the same time, he pressed his thumb to your aching clot, circling it in sync with his fingers that were buried in your pussy. He worked you relentlessly, your muffled moans only egging him on more. Your orgasm quickly came to the forefront as you leaned your hips back onto his hand, begging for the impending release. Your moans were quickly cut off as he removed his hand completely, your core quivering from the loss of stimulation.

“Huh uh uh,” he hummed, slapping your ass harshly, “I know you weren’t about to cum without permission, princess.”

The pet name added insult to injury as he brought his digits to his mouth, leaving you a blubbering mess attempting as best you could to beg him to touch you again.

“P-please,” you managed to squeak out, doing your best to preserve the salty liquid in your mouth.

“Please? Please, what?”

You cursed everything about your predicament, frustrated at not being able to properly beg.

“P-please fu-” you stuttered, “Fuck me!”

As you cried out your request your breath hitched in your throat as you felt his cock enter you suddenly, bottoming out inside of your throbbing pussy. The sudden sensation caused your mouth to fly open, an unholy moan escaping your lips as you tightened around his cock.

“Aw, princess, look at you,” he hummed from behind you, clearly pleased at the state he had you in. “Look at all that cum dripping from your mouth, looks like I won this round.”

He pulled his cock out of you quickly before snapping his hips forward again, almost knocking you on your face. You did your best to suppress the burning sensation in your core as he pumped into you mercilessly, nothing but your animalistic moans able to be heard over the sound of skin on skin.

“You better ask permission before you cum on my cock,” he grunted, continuing the relentless speed of his thrusts. His thrusts hitting just the right angle, allowing his cock to brush against your g-spot with precision.

“Please, sir,” you whimpered, tears welling in your eyes as you tried your best to suppress your climax, “please can I cum all over yo-, ah! Please let me cum on your cock!”

Your shriek rang through the room as a single tear fell from your eye, the intensity of the moment overwhelming you completely. 

You were suddenly yanked back towards Enigma’s chest, his hand wrapping around your throat tightly, but still allowing air to pass. He leaned his head against yours, his lips brushing against your ear as he continued to pump in and out of you.

“Cum for me, princess.”

Relief washed over you as you felt a hard hand come down on your left ass cheek before gripping your hip tightly, holding you in place. Your head immediately fell as you felt your core tense up with pleasure, however, your head was pulled back up by Enigma’s hand tightening around your throat. You opened your eyes to meet your reflection, realizing the entire headboard was a large mirror. 

“Don’t you go closing those eyes on me,” he groaned in your ear, lowering his hand from your hip down to the sensitive bud just above your entrance. “I want you to watch yourself cum all over this cock.”

His words sent you over the edge as you took in the scene now laid out before you. His possessive grip over you was menacing as he focused solely on pleasuring you. His wings were puffed out and disheveled, a few stray feathers threatening to fall from where they laid. Another tear fell from your eye and you weren’t sure if it was from the overstimulation or from the wave of sheer euphoria that was washing over your body. 

The air was filled with your moans and profanities as you watched Enigma fuck you through your orgasm, his grip slowly slipping from your neck and his thrusts growing sloppy, signaling his own end. The intensity of this orgasm was none like you’d ever felt before, causing your vision to go blurry as it ripped through your body.

“Oh, fuck , (Y/N),” he cursed, struggling to suppress his own release. You tilted your head back towards him, and when you did you felt him crash his lips into yours for a sloppy kiss.

After he pulled away, his cock still ramming into you from behind, you returned your gaze to the mirror to meet his eyes.

“Please cum inside me, sir. I want you to fill me up-”

You could hardly get the last sentence out because of Enigma’s tightened grip on your throat, his thrusts quickening suddenly. Your name fell from his lips repeatedly as he emptied his load into you, some of the liquid running down your leg as it combined with your own. His thrusts slowly came to a halt, and it wasn’t until they did that you realized your legs were shaking.

You also hadn’t realized just how much Enigma was supporting your body weight until he released you from his grip, causing you to collapse on the bed before him. He followed suit rather quickly, pulling the duvet over both of your now naked bodies. 

The silence in the air was a nice contrast to the noises that filled the air just moments ago. You laid in the same position for a moment, only moving because Enigma pulled you to his chest. You listened to his heartbeat level out as his chest rose and fell with each breath, helping you to level out your own breathing. The final wave of bliss washed over you as you came back down from your high, finally able to process all of the events of the night. 

Your body was still on fire, still processing the intense rush of emotions you were feeling for the man whose arms you laid in. You weren’t a believer in love at first sight, but the way you opened up to him was something you never in a million years would have done with just anyone. There was something different about him, and though you couldn’t put a finger on it yet, you were determined to get to the bottom of it. Especially if it meant you got to have more nights like this. You tilted your head up to meet his gaze, finally breaking the silence in the room.

“You never told me your real name,” you started, opting to ignore the many questions still lingering in your mind over what happened to him hours prior. You wanted this moment to last forever, but knowing it couldn’t you decided to savor it.

He remained quiet for a moment before parting his lips as if he was pondering whether or not to tell you. After another moment of deafening silence, you heard his low voice ring through the air.

“It’s Keigo,” he nearly whispered, as if afraid someone may overhear.

You looked up and met his eyes, now back to the beautiful golden color you first saw. You leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on his lips, running your finger over the bruise on the other side, reminding him you hadn’t forgotten about it.

“Thank you for tonight, Keigo,” you cooed before nuzzling yourself back into his chest. His only response was holding you tightly, placing a kiss on your forehead as you drifted off to sleep, finally succumbing to your exhaustion.

If you made it to the end of this I am not sure whether to be impressed or embarrassed (at myself) bc why tf was this so long 0_o I wrote this 3 years ago and wanted to bring it to tumblr so it wasn't so lonely on AO3 lol :3

as always, lemme know what you think, and if you liked it, I would love it if you liked and reblogged to spread the love <3 ✨come say hai :3✨

Do not copy, repost or translate.

[alpurrtwhizkersss]

Omg you're taking six of crows requests?!?

Can I get a Kaz x fem!reader where the two of them are a couple (or trying to be) like Kaz is less snappy towards her, they're working on his touch aversion and everything.

But then on a heist gone wrong reader is hurt/stabbed/shot and falls into the Harbour, and Kaz is terrified because of the water but he's more terrified of losing his girl and he realizes that none of the other crows will reach her in time so he dives into the water to save her and when he drags her back onto the dock they just hug each other and the reader is apologizing for ruining the heist, Kaz is just holding her tightly and telling her it's ok, she's safe and that's how the rest of the crows find them, curled up at the end of the dock. Maybe some soft kisses?

Kaz trying to deal with his trauma in ways like this makes me happy

His Star

Requested By:  anonymous!

Warnings: Drowning, reader gets stabbed in the arm, Kaz deals with some trauma flashbacks/anxiety, possibly OOC Kaz.

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Prompt: None

She/Her pronouns used to refer to reader.

Author’s Note:

hey!! sorry this one took so long, I haven't written for Kaz for a WHILE so I hope this meets your request!

Word Count: 1321

Kaz loved you.

Or, at least, you thought he did. He had never told you explicitly, but then, the ruthless young man had never told many people of his affections for them, choosing instead to close himself off to the world instead of facing his feelings.

Despite the mask he put over his emotions every day, you could still tell he loved you through the way he treated you, how he didn’t snap at you like he snapped at the other crows, and the way he looked at you.

Oh, how he looked at you.

Kaz Brekker looked at you as though he was a tired man, bound to the ground of the earth, weak and broken, and you were a star in the dark, endless sky waiting to lead him home, your brightness and your beauty incomparable to anything else.

There were many times Kaz had wanted to touch you, to reach his gloved hand out and graze it against your cheek, or to squeeze your thigh for comfort as you sat beside him, but he couldn’t. He feared that if he did, it would bring everything back. Bring Jordie’s death back. And the possibility was too painful to try.

You understood, of course, you would never push him to do anything he didn’t want to, so you left it alone. You never asked, you barely even thought, because even the idea of making Kaz uncomfortable or upset made guilt squeeze your heart sharply. You would listen if he brought up the idea, but you’d never do it yourself. You’d never put that burden on him over something he couldn’t control.

So you made do with what you had, you loved him in other ways, helping him with planning heists, gathering information to make his job easier, making sure he ate, checking up on him every so often (despite his protests), giving him small smiles across the Crow Club when you could see he was getting frustrated. Little things that made your presence known, but that didn’t intrude too much on his life, and you were happy that way.

“Y/N!” Jesper’s voice broke your thoughts as you slid down the rain-soaked tiles of the building you were scaling, landing gracefully on your feet as you shot along the gutter at the bottom and leaped onto the next one.

“What?” You yelled, hoping he would catch it over the raging wind, but all you heard in response was silence, and you realised you could no longer hear the cracking of his boots against the tile. 

Risking a look behind you, you caught your gaze on Jesper’s long figure clambering back up the roof, two others, Inej and Wylan, caught your eye as well, though, where Kaz was you had no idea, and you skidded to a halt, stopping for a moment as you watched the security of the bank you’d just attempted to rob begin gaining on you, their yells rising far above the torrential weather, you watched the other Crows running along the top of the roof, you only caught on to why they were doing this as you turned back, and felt a swift, violent pain crash through your upper arm, you let out an ear piercing scream as the shock and pain overwhelmed you, making your vision blur and your knees buckle underneath you. Almost as soon as you made a noise, you heard Jasper’s pistols shoot rounds into your attacker’s body, quickly able to take out some other guards from his high-up position, yet nobody came to save you as your body tumbled into the freezing harbour water that cascaded against the walls of the bank.

Kaz yelled your name as he watched you disappear off the side of the roof and into the waters below. He had already chosen to stay behind when he realised that you had not heard Jesper’s call to retreat upwards, and he thanked the Saints that he did when he began racing towards the edge of the roof, still screaming your name as he searched for your body in the blackness beneath him.

For the first time in a while, Kaz took a sharp, relieved inhale at the sight of your head poking above the water, and soon your arms came thrashing with it.

As you caught sight of Kaz, you began yelling, mostly unintelligible words, but he heard his name ring in his ears, and he swore he felt his heart tear itself out of his chest when he recognised the fear in your voice.

The fear in your voice that brought him back to that night. With Jordie. Jordie and the boat. And the eerie silence only broken every so often by the groans of the wood and the shifting of clothes against the bodies of the victims that the plague had so cruelly taken.

No. Kaz scolded himself. Stop. Stop, you have to help Y/N. She’ll die if you don’t help her.

He didn’t give himself time to think again before throwing himself into the freeze after you, and almost immediately he felt the same horrible effect that he felt that night with Jordie begin to take hold.

He pushed through it as he kept his mind on you. He couldn’t let you die.

If you died, he didn’t know what he would do with himself, he likes to tell himself that he could get through anything. That grief didn’t affect him anymore.

But with you? You were his star, and if you weren’t there anymore, his sky would go dark.

Kaz could hear your sobs echoing through the night air as he pulled himself through the current and closer to you. Almost as soon as he touched your skin with his gloved hands, he had to stop himself from letting the panic take over, soon becoming grounded once again by your whimpers and pleas for help.

“C-come here, Y/N.” He stammered out, the temperature of the water mixed with the adrenaline coursing through his veins making his speech slurred and awkward as he pulled you towards his chest.

You soon found yourself approaching the harbour, and Kaz made it his first priority to hoist your body up onto the wooden decking, quickly pulling himself up after.

As soon as you were safely out of the water, you backed yourself up against a wall, leaning to the side to cough up what you’d managed to inhale during your panic. Kaz soon made his way over to you, rubbing your back gently as you grasped the wall for support, before falling back against it, still shaking with the sobs that left your lips. You soon felt Kaz move his hand hesitantly to the back of your neck, before taking a deep breath and pulling you in closer to him, holding you tightly.

“I’m sorry…” You cried, taking the collar of his soaked jacket into your hands as he shushed you. “I’m so, so sorry, Kaz, I- I ruined everything. I’m so useless-” You buried your head in his jacket as he shook his head, staring down at you with as serious a stare as he could manage, despite his heart rate going at 30 miles per hour.

“No, no, Y/N, stop it. You didn’t ruin the heist. It was doomed from the start, it was a stupid idea anyway. All that matters is that you’re safe, do you understand me? You’re alright, and you’re with me, and nothing’s going to happen to you.” Kaz’s voice managed to soothe your racing heart and mind, and your gentle nods soothed his own as he dared to press a gentle kiss to your lips.

That was how the Crows found you both that night. Kaz wrapped protectively around you, every so often placing gentle kisses to your hair, and you, his star, encased safely in his arms, having never felt so much love from anybody in your life.

[skiller0dani]

Touch | Kaz Brekker

M A S T E R L I S T Other Masterlist Shadow and Bone Masterlist

smut | mutual masturbation requests info w.c | 4.4k summary | Kaz is convinced you're angry with him, angry enough to leave him. Despite Jesper's reassurance, Kaz is utterly convinced you're about to leave him. He sends Inej to spy on you, he needs to understand what he did wrong...so he can win you back.

I've only read half of Six of Crows and have seen Season 1 of the show (rewatching it before I watch Season 2). So I apologize if I get things wrong Lore-wise. If I do get something wrong, please feel free to help correct me so I don't get it wrong again. I don't know much about Ketterdam or about the correct terminology about how to describe Ketterdam, please be patient and bear with me while I'm learning.

Possible part 2? ;)

Song

You were angry with him, Kaz was sure of it.

He didn't know what he said or what he did, but he knew he did something. You had been avoiding him, tucking yourself away in the back corners of the Crow Club, or running off with Jesper. You usually spent most of the day wherever Kaz was, in his office, or lounging in your shared bedroom until Kaz needed you. The two of you had been together for about a year now, and he knew you better than you knew yourself. That's how he knew you were angry with him, and by the lack of attention you were giving him you must be really angry with him. It made his stomach churn uncomfortably.

Jesper, who happened to be your closest friend, tried to reassure Kaz that you weren't upset with him but Kaz didn't believe him. Surely if you weren't angry, you'd tell him that yourself. Yet you sent Jesper to talk to Kaz on your behalf, had he really screwed up to the point of receiving the silent treatment? What on Earth had he done? Was he spending too much time away from you? There was a rather complex job he had been swept up in recently, along with someone with sticky fingers skimming from the pot. Or worse, were you finally becoming impatient with his touch aversion? Despite being together for as long as you two have been, he has yet to touch you at all. Not even a light kiss, nothing.

Kaz has briefly opened up to you about Jordie, about the firepox, and of course about Pekka Rollins. You knew why Kaz couldn't bear the feel of skin, but maybe you finally had enough. He knew you had sexual needs not being met, knew you were quite promiscuous before you had begun dating him. He felt insecure about that sometimes, about how it felt like you were sacrificing something to be with him. What if the sacrifice wasn't worth it anymore? Were you cheating on him? No, you wouldn't do that. You were many things but cruel wasn't one of them, Kaz has never known you to do a single cruel thing to anybody.

Still the fear kept clawing at the inside of his head, is that why you were spending so much time away from him? Why you kept sneaking off with Jesper? Did Jesper know about this? Was he covering for you? Kaz knows that Jesper is quite promiscuous himself, in fact that's how you met Jesper. A exciting night on the town before you had joined the Crows, which led you to Jesper's bed. Of course, the two of you realized you had no romantic or sexual chemistry and opted instead to see what trouble you could get up to in Ketterdam. That's how you ended up meeting Kaz, Jesper had brought you to him when you were in need of work. You joined the Crows, and the rest is history.

Despite how hard he tried not to, Kaz fell in love with you. He didn't show it, or say it really other than the one time he did say it. But he thought you knew, that's how you two worked. Neither of you required words or actions to know how you felt, but maybe Kaz had been wrong. Was he neglecting your needs? Did you feel satisfied and loved by Kaz? Were you seeking companionship and affection elsewhere? He couldn't stop his mind from spiraling, it was beginning to impact his ability to run the Crow Club. He often found himself distracted when his eyes landed on the empty spot you usually occupied next to him. It's what led him to seek out Inej, and ask her to do something he wasn't particularly proud of.

"You want me to what?" Her voice was incredulous, you were also a close friend of Inej's. She didn't feel right spying on you, and the seriousness in Kaz's gaze unnerved her.

"I need to know if...if she's seeing somebody else." Kaz explained, his head hung low and his gloved palms pressed flat against his desk.

"She isn't." Inej states firmly, she knows you're head over heels for Kaz. You've been utterly enamored by Kaz since you first laid eyes on him.

"She's been distant. Is asleep before I come to bed and is gone before I wake up. Spends more time with Jesper than she used to, hardly looks me in the eye. Something is wrong. I've done something. I've driven her away somehow, I need you to tell me who she's been seeing." Kaz says, his teeth gritting at the thought of someone else touching you, seeing your bare skin. Kaz needs to know who he is... so they can talk. Inej can't help but admit that your behavior has been odd lately, though she still doesn't think you're cheating on Kaz.

"Kaz-"

"She's going to leave me. It's a matter of time. Can I count on you to do this for me?" Kaz interrupts, this isn't a discussion. It's not something he's keen on discussing in depth either. He just needs to know. Kaz knows he's being unfair, he can see the way Inej has always looked at him. He feels guilty for taking advantage of her affections for him to ensure she spies on you, but he can't last another second without knowing.

"Yes, of course. I'll report back to you once I've learned who he is." She's out the window before Kaz even hears her move. He sucks in a shaky breath, he loves you. More than he's comfortable with if he's being honest, and the thought of you leaving him for someone who's comfortable touching you makes him angry enough to kill whomever the man is on sight. Angry enough to beat him until he's bloody and damn near unrecognizable. Kaz is a bastard of the barrel after all, they don't call him Dirtyhands for no reason.

Inej has been shadowing you for most of the day. You spent most of the day with Jesper, gambling, having drinks, searching for trouble. You had spent a bit of time quietly talking with Jesper, but the two of you know better than to talk loudly. You know spies like Inej exist, Kaz made sure to teach you how to keep your voice hushed. There was a pained look on your face as you sat with Jesper outside a pub. He had one of his classic warm expressions on his face, the one he uses to coax the truth out of you. He'd been victim to Kaz's anxious pestering and had decided to confront you about it. Inej hugged one of the nearby roofs, and tried to get close enough to listen.

"You can't tell anybody this Jes, I'm not joking." You say seriously and he nods instantly, scooting closer to you as your voice drops. You'd been having a problem lately, one you desperately wanted Kaz to fix but knew he couldn't.

"C'mon you know I wouldn't blab your secrets." He says with a playful smile, doing his best to ease your nerves. Jesper has also noticed you were spending more time with him than usual, but never questioned it because you were practically his sister. He loved spending time with you, but had begun to wonder if your relationship with Kaz was struggling. His concerns only heightened once he noticed how wound up Kaz seems to be about it.

"Is...everything okay with Kaz?" Jesper asks carefully, watching the look of disdain cross onto your face. Inej strains her ears, only catching Kaz's name.

"Yes. No. I don't know. It's all my fault." You push your head into your hands, feeling your entire body flush. The reason you'd been spending so much time with Jesper wasn't because you're angry with Kaz, it's because you feel no sexual attraction to Jesper. You could finally relax around him, being with Kaz all day has slowly gotten more and more difficult. You find yourself following the lines of his body with your eyes, the space between your legs dampening when you see Kaz's jaw tense or his fingers curl around his cane. He was driving you mad, you needed him so badly it was hard to think about anything else. You craved Kaz but you know you can't ask him to help with this particular problem...he isn't ready yet. That's fine, you'll wait forever if that's what it takes, but you don't want him to feel like he's neglecting you. Which is why you'd been avoiding him.

"Talk. What's bugging you? You're really starting to freak Kaz out." Jesper says softly, tilting his bottle back to swallow the alcohol inside it. Your heart sinks.

"I am? Shit." You didn't think he noticed with how busy he's been lately. Clearly he paid more attention to you than you originally thought. "Nothing is wrong, really. I'm just...frustrated."

"Why? What has he done?"

"No Jes, I'm frusrtated." You say, cheeks heating once the look of realization crosses onto his face. He chuckles.

"Oh. A year of unexpected celibacy hasn't done you any good has it?" Jesper teases, and you reach over to shove him. Inej is only catching pieces of the conversation, but the word 'celibacy' stands out like it's been outlined in neon lights. Okay, so if Jesper is teasing you about being celibate, you're clearly not cheating on Kaz.

"The first thing you need to do is be honest with Kaz. He's starting to spiral, I think." Jesper says and you feel guilt surge through you like you'd been dumped in cold water. You didn't want to worry Kaz, you just didn't want him to feel guilty for something that isn't his fault.

"Second thing you need to do is figure out a way Kaz can help you get off without having to touch you." Jesper says, as if that's the easiest thing in the world. Your cheeks color red, and you take the bottle out of Jesper's hand to take a drink. Inej definitely heard that, the more drunk you two get the less careful you are. She slinks back over the roof, knowing that she no longer needs to follow you.

"How on Earth can Kaz make me cum without touching me?" You know you should probably feel more bashful talking to Jesper about this than you do, but the first time you met him you nearly had sex with him. He's seen your entire body bare and it was halfway through the evening that the two of you came to the conclusion that it just wasn't working for either of you. Thus is the reason why you're probably more comfortable with Jesper than you should be.

"Two words my naïve friend, mutual masturbation. That way both of you can get your rocks on without having to touch each other." Jesper says, sly smile making its way onto his face once he sees the gears turning in your head.

"I am not naïve." You complain, drawing a laugh from Jesper.

"You know if Kaz ever finds out we spoke about this, he'll kill you." You mention and Jesper rolls his eyes.

"I'd like to see him try, gonna go talk to him now?" Jesper asks and you stand with a sigh.

"Yeah, I can't make him worry any longer."

Kaz was pacing back and forth in his office the entire time Inej was gone. He barely heard her re-enter through the open window, and when he laid eyes on her the first thing he noticed was her flushed complexion.

"Well? Who is he?" He asked expectantly, his heart already sinking in his stomach. She caught you sleeping with another man, that's why she looks so bashful. Why she has a hard time meeting his eye. She caught you cheating on him.

"Kaz...she isn't cheating on you." Inej says finally, and Kaz feels his eyebrows pull together.

"No, that's the only logical explanation. She has to be. What did she do today?" He demands, not at all believing Inej.

"Went drinking with Jesper, and I overheard their conversation." She begins, and Kaz stays silent, urging her to continue. There's tension in his shoulders and on his face, though Inej doesn't really know how to explain what she heard.

"I think it would be better to let Y/N explain. Trust me when I say she isn't cheating, and she should be on her way here now." Inej says and as if on cue there's a knock on his office door. He turns to face Inej again, but she's already gone. Kaz turns to open the door, and is unsurprised when he sees you standing in the hallway with a guilty look on your face. He opens the door wider to let you in, and you enter his office quickly pacing in front of his desk. Kaz closes the door behind you, watching you with nervous eyes.

"My love, please talk to me." He hates pleading, hates how weak he sounds but he can't help it. He can see the distress on your face, can see the tension being held in your body. He wants to fix it, and for a second he goes to pull you against his chest. He wants to hold you, but he feels panic crawling up his neck at the thought of touching you. Curse Pekka Rollins for damaging him the way he has, for causing this rift in his relationship.

"Kaz I promise I didn't mean to make you worry. I still love you." You rush out, needing him to know that first. Some of the worry eases then, but the concern is still there.

"I love you too darling, what's wrong? Talk to me." Kaz pushes again, taking a step closer to you. His eyes study your face, your cheeks are flushed, bottom lip pulled between your teeth as you nibble anxiously.

"I'm well...I just feel uh frustrated." You say, putting it the same way you described it to Jesper hoping that Kaz catches on as Jesper did.

"Are you angry with me, love?" Kaz asks and you want to kiss him all over his face when you notice the adorably confused look on his face.

"No, not that kind of frustrated." You try again, and Kaz's eyebrows pinch together. Finally you see a look of understanding dawn his features and your cheeks turn even darker. So he was partially right, your sexual needs are not being met and you've finally begun to feel wound up. Kaz knew this would happen eventually, he's been hoping you don't leave him because of it.

"B-But I have an idea... if you're up for it." You start carefully, and Kaz swallows thickly. He's not sure he's ready to touch you, he wants to, can feel the urge bubbling beneath his skin. But he isn't there yet.

"Sweetheart I'm not sure I can touch you just yet," Kaz begins gently, guilt on his face as his eyes soften.

"You don't have to, just hear me out...please?" You beg, and the needy look in your eyes nearly makes his knees buckle. You feel like you could combust at any moment, the heat coursing through you is suffocating. Kaz has seen you naked by now, but neither of you have ever done anything like this.

"You could make me feel good, b-but I'll be your hands. Your voice alone could make me cum Kaz." You say shyly, watching his eyebrows shoot up at your words.

"You could make yourself feel good too, w-we could do it together." You explain, watching warmth crawl up Kaz's neck. A look you don't recognize crosses onto Kaz's face, it makes your entire body feel boneless at the intensity in his eyes.

"My pretty girl wants me to help her masturbate? Is that it?" His voice is low, a near purr and it sends heat straight between your thighs. Kaz knows you need more from him, and if his voice is how he can help meet your sexual needs then he'll do it. He'll do damn near anything if you ask him to. You nod instantly, already feeling tingles going south.

"Sit on the couch." He says, his voice rough as he pulls his office chair out to sit down in front of his desk. Before he sits, he turns for his office door.

"Undress." His voice is commanding, as is his presence in the room. You feel your heart hammering against your ribcage as your shaky palms shed your clothing layer by layer. Kaz also closes and locks the window before he sits back in his office chair. His eyes drink up every inch of bare skin that is slowly being revealed to him. You sit back against the couch once your undergarments fall to the floor and you're naked before him. You feel nervous, but the heat in his gaze is enough to make arousal pool between your legs.

"Spread your legs for me my love, I want to see you." He says, his voice still holding its commanding tone. It was obvious that despite the fact that he isn't touching you he's still very much in charge here- totally in control of your pleasure. You do as he asks, shyly spreading your legs and revealing your glistening folds to him. Kaz feels his pants tighten at the sight of you, you're practically dripping onto his couch.

"My poor girl, look at you. Must have been in desperate need of release for days. You should have came to me sooner, love." Kaz says softly, his voice making your body heat up. You nod fervently, your skin buzzing and you haven't even begun touching yourself yet. Subconsciously you seem to have submit to him already, accepting that he's the one in control. That you can't do anything without his say so, you should have known that he would be domineering in bed.

"Show me how you touch yourself when I'm not around." Kaz instructs and you send him a bashful look. You've never had such a direct audience to such an intimate moment before, but there's nobody else you could imagine doing this for. You lean back comfortably against the couch, your eyes landing on Kaz and you seriously have to bite your lip to keep from moaning at the sight of him. He's lounging back in his office chair like a King sat upon his throne. His legs are spread, and there's an obvious bulge in his pants. His eyes are dark and lust blown, his gaze glued between your legs.

You snake a palm down your stomach, your fingers lightly teasing your clit causing you to throw your head back.

"Keep your eyes on me." Kaz demands and you can't help but obey. You lift your head to keep your eyes on him as your fingers swirl circles on your clit.

"Tell me what to do Kaz, please." You whine, and the desperation in your voice makes his dick twitch. You see him subtly adjust himself as your fingers continue to play with your clit and run down along your slit. Kaz swallows harshly, his mind feeling unfocused and all he can do is watch the way you play with yourself.

"Push one finger inside yourself love, just one." He says breathlessly, and you obey and push one lithe finger in. You moan softly, pumping your finger but it's not enough. Your hips wriggle against the couch and Kaz can see that you need more.

"Play with your clit darling, and keep pumping that finger." Kaz instructs and the smooth undertone of his voice is making shivers run down your spine. Your other hand rubs harsh circles on your clit, and you feel like the temperature in the room has risen at least 10 degrees.

"You are breathtaking my love, an absolute vision." Kaz praises softly, he can't take his eyes away from your beautiful cunt. Your finger is wet with your slick every time it leaves your heat, and your lips are parted as soft moans escape you. He learned a long time ago that you like to be praised, that you crave those words of affection. He isn't big on being affectionate in public, but he usually compliments you every so often. If only to watch your cheeks darken and the goosebumps raise along your skin. He watches a shiver run down your spine at his words.

"You're doing so good my love, add another finger for me." Kaz says, and you push 2 fingers into your soaked cunt. Kaz palms himself through his pants, he's beginning to strain painfully against his pants.

"Kaz touch yourself, please I want to watch." You beg and Kaz swears in that moment he's died and gone to heaven. How could someone as beautiful and perfect as you be spread out naked on his couch? And yet he's still too afraid to touch you. He swallows thickly as he continues to watch you thrust your fingers into your cunt, and he's scrambling to open his pants enough to pull himself free. As soon as his cock is freed he's releasing a sigh of relief.

"Go faster my love, I want to watch you ruin that tiny little cunt." Kaz nearly pleads and you instantly pick up the pace, slamming your fingers into yourself. You moan again once you feel that coil winding in your stomach and heat sears through your entire body when you watch Kaz wrap a gloved hand around himself. You watch with lidded eyes as he begins to pump his shaft slowly, a soft groan escaping his lips. This is by far the most erotic thing you've ever done, and you've had your fair share of lovers before you begun dating Kaz.

"I'm- I'm gonna cum Kaz, can I? Please?" You ask, needing his permission before you let yourself release. Kaz growls softly, his own hand speeding up and jerking himself faster. He can see how fucked out you looked, he could hardly fathom how you'd look once he actually works up the courage to touch you.

"Yes sweetheart, cum for me. Look me in the eyes darling." Kaz says, and your eyes lock onto his as you feel your orgasm wash over you. You cry out softly, your body convulsing as you gush all over your fingers. Kaz feels his own orgasm creeping up on him as he watches you cum, you've never looked more beautiful. You suddenly get an idea and pull yourself onto your knees before him, making sure to keep your hands to yourself. You sit between his spread legs and look up into his eyes, blinking your doe eyes up at him makes him groan softly.

"Cum on my face." You say it so casually Kaz almost doesn't hear you. He feels heat sear through him once he registers what you've said, and he keeps quickly pumping himself. His head tosses back as the pleasure builds, but he can't help but pull his gaze back to you. You're waiting with your mouth open, eyes fixed on his.

"Fuck, you look so beautiful on your knees before me. Don't move my love, let me cum on your face." Kaz gasps, feeling his orgasm hit him suddenly. His chest heaves as white ropes of cum land on your face, mostly in your mouth. You hum happily as you swallow it down, wiping it off your cheeks and licking it off your fingers. Kaz watches with hooded eyes as you smile up at him, and then he does something you don't expect.

He leans forward and briefly presses his lips against yours to give you a quick kiss. It's quick, but its the first skin to skin contact with Kaz you've ever had. You beam up at him, and he's never seen you look happier than you did in that moment. He feels guilt seeping into his mind, has he really deprived you so much that a simple kiss brings you so much joy? Do you feel satisfied with him or is he damning you to a lifetime of longing for more? Kaz feels his skin prickling uncomfortably, but he leans down and presses a more firm kiss to your lips. He wants you to feel fulfilled. His lips move softly against yours until he feels nausea turn in his stomach and he pulls away. His heart is racing and he has to repeat to himself that it's just you, just you sitting naked in his office. He's safe, everything is fine. He has to repeat this to himself to keep the oncoming panic attack away.

All because of a simple kiss.

"Don't push yourself my love." You remind him softly as you lift yourself from the floor. He wants to reach out and take you in his arms, wants to press his face against the soft skin of your tummy. But he can't and he hates himself for it. Hates that you have to baby him and deprive yourself of the intimacy he knows you crave.

"Was this good my love, was it enough?" Kaz asks softly, hating how vulnerable he sounds. You turn, surprise on your face as you look at him.

"It was perfect Kaz, what's wrong?" You ask softly, reaching down to start pulling your clothes on.

"Are you happy with me? Am I fulfilling your needs?" Kaz tucks himself back into his pants and watches as you put your clothes back on. You look like a Goddess as you do.

"Kaz being with you has made me the happiest I've ever been in my life. You always make sure I want for nothing, where is this coming from?" You ask sadly, and your heart is breaking. How could he ever think he isn't enough for you as he is?

"You were sexually frustrated but didn't feel comfortable telling me because...because I can't touch you. Doesn't that bother you?" Kaz asks, hesitantly meeting your eye when you move to stand in front of him.

"Kaz...I just didn't want to make you feel bad. I don't mind that you can't touch me, I love you as you are." You reassure him but he still holds so much tension in his shoulders.

"You say that now. But can you handle not being touched...forever? I don't think you'll feel the same way 10 years from now." Kaz says, already having made his mind up on the matter.

"Kaz-"

"I want to take that step with you Y/N, I will overcome my...aversion...to ensure I meet all of your needs. Especially your sexual needs. Just be patient with me, please." Kaz says softly and you feel your heart swell at his promise. You nod with a soft smile, wishing you could wrap your arms around him and inhale his scent.

"I love you Kaz, always." You promise and you finally see the tension ebbing away from his shoulders.

"I love you darling."

[happynowyo]

Stubbornness

Fandom: Six of Crows

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Reader

Warnings: mentions of traumas and touch aversion, Reader being a Healer

A/n: so here's the thing I wanted something angsty and smutty but could come up only with the first part tonight so I'll do another hot part in a few days to finish this completely.

Word count: 2,1k

Part 2

— I don't need that, — the confident tone cut through the silence like a sharp knife, sending shivers down your spine for a second.

You might have believed it if you hadn't personally witnessed a couple of Dime Lions beating Kaz with such zeal that the crunch of his broken ribs was clearly audible in the empty valley.

So you continued to worry about him without listening to what was said. You paid far more attention to the quiet sighs Kaz let out with each step, leaning harder and harder on his bad leg, as you noticed the pained expression flickering in his eyes, though you had to hand it to him that he was using all his acting skills to pretend to be fine and make you leave.

— Stop being so stubborn! Even Matthias isn't afraid of my abilities anymore after I healed that bullet wound in his shoulder.

You determinedly followed Kaz into his room, letting the door slam menacingly. As a sign to Kaz that you wouldn't just give up and leave him to be alone with the pain. As a sign to everyone else in the Slat that no one was allowed to bother him anymore in the next couple of hours.

There was no relationship between the two of you. At least, that's what you both claimed when Jesper and Nina cast too many meaningful glances at you, and Inej carefully kept in a secret all those times she saw you leaving Kaz's bedroom before breakfast, knowing that you had spent the night with him. Saints, sometimes even you convinced yourself that you had nothing in common, even though certain details made it clear that your relationship had long gone beyond the professional.

If you didn't know Kaz personally, you'd think he was giving you conflicting signals. He was withdrawn and aloof, preferring to talk only about business. Even if he insisted and you spent the entire evening around him, he went about his deals as if he didn't notice your presence. His stern tone was used toward you as often as it was toward everyone else.

If you didn't know him, you'd be sure that Kaz Brekker was a cold, indifferent bastard who was only interested in kruge and the future death of Pekka Rollins. Calculating and cruel and completely incapable of basic affections. But in reality it was very different. The trick was not to take Kaz for an ordinary guy and not to see him as such. His difficult past had made him wear such armor that it had time to blend into his skin over the years.

In those moments when anyone else would have approached you with caring questions and a warm hug if you were suddenly hurt during the heist, Kaz would limit himself to a brief worried look, though later he would definitely comb down the person you were paired with. You once accused him of being incapable of showing any emotions, but you later realized that the Barrel had hardened him to show it in the most inconspicuous way possible, so as not to put you in any danger. Only the Saints know what Pekka or anyone else would have done to you if they had known about the secret feelings Kaz had for you.

When Wylan revealed that he knew a Healer, everyone took it with great enthusiasm. Even Kaz saw it as a good sign, and it made everyone feel a little more at ease about the tasks ahead, though you remembered to remind Crows to be careful. You could heal a lot, but it wasn't always instantaneous and serious wounds could take a couple of weeks to fully heal. The bigger problem was someone else's stubbornness - Jesper would drag himself to you almost every day with any simple cut, while Matthias or Kaz would literally have to be persuaded.

— I want to help. Let me, please.

Despite the soft shell, the authoritative tone was no deception to Kaz. He sighed heavily and, after a little hesitation, pulled off his jacket, ignoring the flash of pain around his shoulder. Who would have thought that Pekka's secretary was so good with knives?

— You're not supposed to be here, Y/n. He'll be looking for you. Did Pim let you in? — the curt speech was the proof of how much effort Brekker was making to hold back a painful groan and, God forbid, admit that he really needed some help.

You were bound to Anderson with an indenture and officially worked at one of his clubs along with the other Grishas. He was a part of the Merchant Council and was involved in key decisions regarding politics and trade in Ketterdam, which, however, did not stop him from accepting bribes, being under the wing of Pekka and running a real brothel in his club. Many men were really interested in spending the night with Grisha, though more often they ended up asking the girls to demonstrate their skills.

— Anderson is having a party tonight, along with a bunch of other great merchants. And you obviously knew that, since you'd snuck into Pekka's club, counting on the fact that he'd be among the other guests and his office would be empty. Why didn't Nina feel the heartbeat of the guards? — you were tired of the distance between you, so you approached first, gently helping to undo the buttons on Kaz's blood-soaked shirt. Your eyes tried desperately to catch his, but Brekker stubbornly looked away, trying to control the panic that was building up. Close bodily contact was still difficult for him, though his was making definite progress with your help.

— The Fabricator. Someone had worked on the office door, turning it into a veritable safe, through which it is impossible for Grisha to feel or hear anything. Someone from Dregs had told Pekka about our future attack.

Kaz looked angry, but you understood that he had already passed the stage of frustration with his subordinates and so was calculating his options as to who might had done it. His sharp mind was constantly at work, and it was clearly to his advantage now, since it distracted him from realizing how close your fingers were to his body. Phantom heat could already be felt, but it was nothing compared to what he was going to feel later.

You had tried some things before. Intimacy might have been expressed in different ways, but gradually you raised the degree higher and higher. Kaz was getting used to your presence more and more and it allowed him to push his boundaries a little further. Recently you were even able to spend the night in the same bed, separated only by the thin fabric of your pajamas. Before his trauma Kaz was a particularly tactile child, and you hoped to bring him back to that at least a little, showing him that physical touch didn't always have to be accompanied by pain and panic.

You remembered perfectly your first kiss. How timid and cautious it was at first. How desperate and greedy it became later, until a wave of anxiety swept over Kaz and made him pull away first. He focused on avoiding you for a whole week after that and was pretty sure that you were disappointed in his ability to control himself or that you were angry because of his attitude toward touching and the fact that he couldn't give you something normal. However, you managed to change his mind and you continued to take steps toward each other, guided by your growing feelings.

— None of that matters now. You took the papers you wanted, and I'll heal your wounds. We'll deal with everything else in the morning, okay? — you smiled encouragingly, and then you gently stepped closer, your fingers caressing Kaz's bare left side, trying to bind the broken ribs together. Your attentive gaze was fixed on Kaz's face the whole time, assessing and comparing, so that you could instantly catch the moment when the panic of too close contact would occupy his mind again.

— Will you stay? — Kaz finally stopped pretending that his brave solitude on that night was more appealing to him than your support.

— If you behave yourself, sweetheart.

You pulled his shirt aside and examined more closely many bruises and cuts that studded Kaz's torso. The open wound on his right shoulder demanded your attention first, so you gently nudged Kaz toward the bed so that he could sit on it and give you more space. As you worked, you couldn't stop gazing at him, admiring him openly, and your free palm lightly touched his hair, brushing back the strands that had fallen to his forehead. Tenderness filled your heart, and a wandering smile appeared on your lips that didn't escape Kaz's attention.

He liked these moments of comfort with you, and he expressed it in his own way, deciding to take the initiative and slowly run his fingertips from your knee up your thigh. You were standing almost between his legs and the height difference you created gave him an advantageous opportunity. Touching you was still new to Kaz, but the mind-fogging desire was too great and, at certain moments, overpowered any panic. And that's why he gently wrapped his arm around your wrist and pulled you toward him to make you sit on his lap, facing each other even closer.

— It's good you weren't there in his office. If Pekka finds out you're working with me, he'll definitely tell Anderson. They're great friends, it wouldn't cost him anything to get your indenture to himself, — Kaz' eyes were filled with pure hatred, and some part of you was glad it wasn't meant for you.

— You could buy me out. That way I would belong only to you.

— You already belong only to me, Y/n, — Kaz said confidently, in a wave of ghostly jealousy, not even paying attention to the fact that your palm moved to his face, healing his cheekbones from the horrible bruises.

— Only at night. You only claim me here, among these confined four walls, when no one can see or hear us, — you shrugged briefly, getting rid of the sadness in your voice. It would be foolish to expect a man like Kaz to drop everything and leave for a peaceful life. Ketterdam, power and the pursuit of money was everything to him. — Sometimes it takes an effort to remind myself of that during the day, when I don't know if I can see you again because people on streets are about to break the news of your death after another fight or because Anderson will sell me out to someone else.

It was harder to hear about it than to just know it and keep it in the back of his mind. You were the fairest and most beautiful girl for Kaz, the person he truly wanted to protect from everything and care about, and he was sickened by the thought that someone could take you away or hurt you somehow. The words swirled on his tongue, burning with its despair, and he needed to do something to hold on to that moment and cling to you, to prove that the only thing real now was you, your caressing touches erasing the painful sensation from his skin, and the heat of life itself that emanated from you.

The few times before all your kisses had come from you. Kaz had found it easier to accept touch than to touch himself, but now the need to be with you made him go with his urges, so his palm gripped your waist, pulling you closer, and his lips covered yours so hastily, as if he feared it was the last thing he would ever have time and ability to do in his life. But kissing him was still extremely satisfying.

So much that the desire instantly settled in your blood and made you more pliable. Your tongue slid playfully along his, and a convulsive, loud exhalation became yours in common. You unconsciously buried your fingers in his hair and pulled stronger, causing Kaz to moan briefly right into the kiss before he slowly pulled away with a completely shaken look and a bright smile and a glint in his eyes. And in that moment he looked a hell of a lot like his usual self, just a guy spending time with the girl he loved, and their only problem was not the prospect of death at the hands of rival gangs, but the question of whether they'd locked the door.

Although Kaz Brekker had another question stashed away — would you agree to wear that ring he bought for you so you could remember him and his feelings at all times?

Part 2

[fortunafavours]

Welcome to Fortuna, Kingdom of Splendor!

demo • FAQs • bsky

You are the bastard child of the king’s cousin, you’ve never been anyone special. The Crown made sure of that. Taken in by your father after the death of your mother, you were never allowed to speak of your parentage under threat of being sent to an orphanage, so you took on the role of servant to your father's house. Now, just before your thirtieth birthday, you’ve begun having a strange, recurring dream: something beneath the mountains knows your name—something ancient—and it wants you to find it. But the stone isn’t the only thing after you. According to your oldest friend, an elite team of sorcerers from a group known as SCEPTRE are interested in speaking with you—by order of the king. And that's nothing to say of the rumblings of discontent in the streets, led by someone known only as the Crow. Apparently, they've got eyes on you, too. Why have you suddenly become the centre of attention? You’re nobody special. …Aren’t you?

Fortuna Favours the Bold is a low fantasy, high stakes, romance forward tale about self-discovery and buried secrets. Unearth the truth of what waits under the mountain, find out who you really are, and try not to get yourself blown up along the way!

It draws inspiration from media like Dragon Age: Origins, House of the Dragon, the Elder Scrolls series, as well as a myriad of Dungeons & Dragons campaigns I've been a part of, and other similar stories. If you like any of those, you might like Fortuna!

Fortuna is currently a WIP and, as always, is subject to change!

Play as male, female, or non-binary; gay, straight, lesbian, or bisexual!

Get caught up in a government conspiracy, or expose the corruption within!

Choose from six characters to romance: a chivalrous blacksmith, a charming physician, a socialite lawyer, the captain of the guard, the soft-spoken acolyte, or your mage friend from childhood!

Determine the ultimate fate of the kingdom! Will you lead it to ruin, or improve the state of affairs? Will you be a hero of the people, or a pawn in someone else's game?

Protect yourself, protect your loved ones, protect the city - or don't!

But above all, remember to keep the peace. The Crown thanks you for your cooperation.

Fortuna is rated 18+ for explicit language, sexual content, alcohol and drug use, violence, morally questionable behaviour, and more.

For a full list of content warnings, please see below the cut.

CONTENT WARNINGS: sexual situations (optionally explicit), abuse of power, sexism, misogyny, (occasionally graphic) depictions of violence, elements of horror, unreality, mentions of suicide, classism, alcohol and drug use, mentions of upsetting situations regarding pregnancy (abortions, miscarriages, stillborns, infertility, and birthing complications), confined and dark spaces, and death.

There may be some I've missed, but I've listed all the ones that I know for certain off the top of my head. Please reach out if there's something you've noticed that isn't listed here!

Please note that the MC is 29, almost 30; the most significant age gap is 9 years. Please do not message me about this. Everyone involved in the story is a consenting adult and is treated as such. If the gap in age bothers you, don't feel compelled to read it. I won't be upset.

I, myself, am 30 years old, and am fine with all listed age differences (obviously. I created these characters lol).

Now that that's out of the way, meet the ROs!:

Malcolm Ashford, 36 [M]

The primary blacksmith for the Crown ever since they took over his forge, though he's not exactly happy about it. Malcolm is a good, honourable sort; kindhearted and genuine, he's easy to approach and talk to. He is also the biggest hopeless romantic - a fact that Cyril never lets him forget. He can primarily be found at the forge in the centre of the courtyard marketplace.

Malcolm is 6'4" (193 cm), broad shouldered, muscular, and usually covered in some sort of soot. He has fair skin (but is usually sporting an intense farmer's tan), shoulder length light brown hair, a light beard, dark grey eyes, and a beauty mark just above his upper left lip.

His face claim is Eoin Macken.

Cyril Trevelyan, 34 [M]

An old friend of Malcolm's. If anyone asks, Cyril is a "non-practicing" physician. Previously a member of the Royal Physician's Guild, he has since left and now operates an illegal clinic in the lower quarters of the capital, where he can primarily be found, though he has been known to frequent a local tavern and can occasionally be spotted harassing Malcolm at the forge. Cyril is charming, outgoing, and would love to get to know you. Just don't expect him to be very forthcoming about himself.

Cyril is 6'2" (187 cm), with an athletic build. He has tan skin, short, cropped black hair, stubble, and hazel eyes. He has a small scar across his left eyebrow and another small scar through his upper lip.

His face claim is Miguel Ángel Silvestre.

Dominic / Dominica Trevelyan, 38 [M/F]

Cyril's older sibling and the current Commandant of the King's Army. They care about the citizens of Requiem, but are less idealistic than Cyril about how to go about bringing change. They generally mean well and try to make things as easy as possible for the masses, but it isn't always seen as enough. Their relationship with Cyril is... tense. To say the least. They are taciturn and serious, and could probably do with some lightening up.

D is 6'4" (193 cm) (M) / 6'1" (185 cm) (F). They are broad shouldered and a little paunchy, but muscular, strong, and a force to be reckoned with in battle. They have tan skin like their brother, short, black hair that they keep slicked back from their face, and light brown eyes.

Their face claims are Keon Alexander and Rosa Gilmore.

James Johnathan / Jane Josephine 'J.J.' St. James, 28 [M/F]

JJ is a notable lawyer from the noble St. James household, though they aren't typically the first one that comes to mind when the St. James name is brought up. No, that luxury would go to just about anyone else in their family, given JJ is the only one without magic. They're a hard worker, extremely diligent, but have just a teensy tiny chip on their shoulder. They're a bit smarmy, but there is a good heart in there. Somewhere.

JJ is 5'10" (177 cm) (M) / 5'8" (173 cm) (F). They have a lean, athletic build, pale skin, light blue eyes, and copper-brown hair.

Their face claims are Richard Madden and Philipine Urvois.

Amaryllis / Amaranthus Calyx, 30 [F/M]*

One of the royal twins, but also an acolyte to the Divine Valentine, goddess of mercy. They have chosen to dedicate their time to the Temple of the Divines, honing their healing magic and providing succor to those in need, emulating all the virtues Valentine embodies. They are soft spoken and kind, but sheltered and naive. They want to help, but have an impressive lack of self-awareness and preservation, and are more likely to get themselves into trouble unintentionally. Hopefully, you won't have to babysit them too much.

A is 5'10" (177 cm) (F) / 6'0" (183 cm) (M). Amaryllis has a slight, willowy build, shoulder length, dark brown hair that she wears in a bob, a small dusting of freckles across the nose, and dark brown eyes that (like most members of the royal family) are ringed with gold. Amaranthus has a lean, athletic build, short, dark brown hair kept neat and styled back from his face, and the same dark brown gold-ringed eyes as his sister. He also wears glasses, though he's constantly forgetting where he put them.

Their face claims are Adeline Rudolph and Kenta Sakurai.

*Unlike the other gender selectable ROs, A's gender setting determines which of the two twins you end up encountering as opposed to deciding the gender for one character. The other will appear in the story regardless, but will not be romanceable if you select the opposite gender. The other twin has a separate job, position, and demeanour and an entirely different personality from the chosen romanceable one, which will be determined by who you select as RO.

Elliott 'Eli' / Eleanor 'Ellie' Rosefinch, 30 [M/F]

Your oldest friend and most trusted confidant, they've known you since you were twelve and you've been thick as thieves since. They're one of the very few magic users in the capital, and have been recruited into SCEPTRE, the kingdom's elite training program for budding sorcerers. They're down to earth and easygoing, grounded, and calm under fire. They tend towards being the far more rational of the two of you.

E is 5'11" (180 cm), with a dancer's build. They have brown skin, short, curly black hair, brown eyes, and sparse freckling.

Their face claims are Dev Patel and Nikita Chadha.

[celesterayel]

"i only write when i am falling in love, or falling apart."

꘎ 𓈒 the hunger games | "may the odds be ever in your favor"  𓈒

coriolanus snow

→ match made in heaven | coriolanus snow isn't nice but neither are you. it's a match made in heaven.

lucy gray baird

finnick odair

꘎ 𓈒 percy jackson | "the real world is where the monsters are" ꥟ ۪  𓈒

luke castellan

→ the it couple | common knowledge is how irrevocably in love luke castellan is with you.

→ goodbyes & waiting | there are the moments you shared and the sadness that came after.

→ something out of my dreams | all he knows is that you were something out of his dreams.

→ midnight secrets | he knows one one true thing: you put all the stars to shame.

→ sacred | coming soon

→ crisis | coming soon

→ muses | coming soon

clarisse la rue

→ kill me slowly | coming soon

→ mad woman | coming soon

percy jackson

→ collide | coming soon

→ the tides | coming soon

→ great mystery | coming soon

→ miss americana & the heart break prince | coming soon

→ the great war | coming soon

→ come back…be mine | coming soon

annabeth chase

𓈒 star wars | "you can't hide, rey. not from me" ꥟  ꘎ 𓈒

rey

ben solo | kylo ren

reylo

anakin skywalker

꘎ spider man | "with great power, comes great responsibility" ꥟ ۪

peter parker - tom holland

other genres ꥟ ۪ ꘎  𓈒

the summer i turned pretty

panic (amazon prime)

shadow and bone

six of crows

rebel moon

teen wolf

outer banks

shadow hunters

the sandman

blue beetle

author's note ꥟ ۪ ꘎  𓈒 

please don't be afraid to ask what other genres i write for. i am a book reader and movie/tv show enthusiast so there's definitely plenty more i'm willing to add when reminded! :)

reminder to be kind and respectful.

[ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes]

Innocent

pairing: kaz brekker x fem!reader (established)

genre: fluff and maybe a tiny bit of angst

el's thoughts: requested by anon for my speak now event. this may have a mediocre ending... but i hope yall still like it!! please note that this takes place yearsss after the events of six of crows and crooked kingdom

main masterlist // speak now masterlist

“Kaz wait up!” Tiny feet pattered through the fields of tall, dying grass of the season. “You’re too fast!”

Laughter spilled from the young boy’s lips as he kept running to the small lake. The young girl tried her best to catch up, while the pair was followed by the older Rietveld boy. 

“Yeah, Kaz, you’re too fast!” Jordie called out as he kept his pace to match Y/N’s. 

“You’re just too slow!” Kaz laughed as he reached the lake. 

Y/N threw herself down next to him, gasping for air. “That wasn’t fair.” The boy said nothing but smiled brightly at her. She smiled back, watching the older boy with eyes that held him in such a high regard. The two year age gap felt like a mountain to her but she adored him with her whole heart. He was her bestest friend, the only one who sat with her in the school yard during lunch and the only one who stood up for her against bullies. The oldest of the Reitveld brothers had quickly picked up on the strong bond between the two and left them to have their fun. 

They never would’ve guessed what life would have thrown at them, but one thing was for sure. That whatever it was, it wouldn’t get in the way of their friendship. As cheesy as it sounded, it stood the test of time.

~

“Y/N/N,” Kaz nodded to the girl who sat in the window seat of his room. She had curled in on herself with a book in hand with the window pushed open. “You’ll catch a cold, close the window.”

She rolled her eyes at him but smiled as her eyes continued to follow his movements. He reached into his dresser to pull out a new set of clothes, eyeing the extra shirt he left out for her on her chair opposite his by the desk. Everything would’ve passed off as a normal evening for the two if only she didn’t notice that Kaz’s limp was heavier than normal and his shoulders were so tense he was almost hunching. 

Y/N grabbed a spare sheet of paper and slipped it in between her book pages. “How was your day, Kaz?” A grunt was all she received in response causing her to roll her eyes. “Come on, Kaz. What’s got you in a knot?” 

She could hear the rustling of his clothes from the bathroom and waited patiently for him to finish. She quickly slipped out of her clothes and into the spare shirt that was set out for her, letting it fall just above her knees as she walked to grab a pair of thick socks. 

Kaz walked out of the bathroom in his black night clothes set, avoiding eye contact with Y/N as he made his way over to his desk. He sifted through a few files and started to put them away in the desk drawer. Her y/e/c eyes scanned over him thoughtfully, trying to piece together what happened. 

“What’s wrong, Kazzle?” she spoke quietly, adding her childhood nickname for him.

His shoulders tensed again. “Don’t call me that,” his voice was strained, it almost sounded pained. 

Y/N moved to sit in her chair across from him. “You’re going to have to tell me what’s wrong eventually… You know that.”

She watched as he clenched and unclenched his jaw, his thoughts racing and flickering through his eyes. 

“Do you ever wonder what our lives would be like if we still lived on the farm?”

The question caught her off guard for a moment before she understood what was wrong. “I do sometimes, but i don’t pay it much thought.”

Kaz hummed. “We would probably have a family and live on my parent’s farm. I would’ve put a ring on your finger a long time ago and I would’ve gotten your father’s blessing. We probably would have had a traditional wedding. Unless you didn’t want that, then we’d do whatever you wanted.”

“Kaz,” Y/N reached her hand out across the desk. 

He placed his finger tips against hers. “I’m sorry I can’t give you that life. That I’ve forced you to live this out with me. You didn’t deserve any of that.”

“Hold on now. You didn’t force me into anything. I chose to live this life with you. I wasn’t going to lose you no matter what. You didn’t force me into this life, Kaz.”

He sighed as he finally made eye contact with her. “I’ve changed, that much is obvious, and with you staying beside me… You’ve had to change in order to adapt to me.”

“And I would do it all over again if it meant we are seated right here today. Sure everything was easier in our firefly catching days, running through the fields but look at us now. I happen to like us the way we are right now. Sure, we’re far from perfect and I know you think you’ve done terrible things. But remember, I did them too. Please don’t think that I need or want anything different from what you’ve given me or who you are. That insults me.”

Kaz squeezed her fingertips in her hand, and tried to hide the flush of his cheeks. His eyes spoke his gratitude more than his lips ever could. She smiled her bright never changing smile as they both came to terms with the situation. Sure life would be great if they were able to stay back home and had never stepped foot in Ketterdam. On the other hand, if they never came to Ketterdam they wouldn’t have their friends or all the life experience they’ve gained along the way. The couple may be in their early thirties but they felt like they were still growing up. And as long as they were by each other’s side they’d be innocent in the other’s eyes. 

[jahayla-parker]

Closure : Kaz Brekker x Reader

Description: 5.7k wc, Kaz’s wife seeks help from Nina to allow Kaz to get some closure surrounding Jordie’s death. Hurt-comfort, fluff, slight angst (turned fluff), healing.

Warnings: typical Six of Crows and Grishaverse warnings, mentions of death and funerals and related topics, mentions of trauma and injuries, etc. Again, typical SoC warnings.

Out of the corner of her eyes, y/n watched Kaz closely. She could tell her husband was trying to act as if it wasn’t impacting him. But y/n knew better. She could see the distant look in his eyes as he tried to focus on the numbers for the Crow Club’s books.

Kaz owned his family’s farm back in Lij; under an alias, of course. He’d always had eyes on the land even while he stayed in the Barrel. But once y/n was informed of the existence of the property, she had begun to take the occasional trip to the area to check on it for herself/themselves rather than relying on Kaz’s intel. Y/n often did these trips as part of a journey to visit the other crows. Y/n would always update Kaz to the state of the property once she returned home. Over time, she also began tending to the land in small increments; planting the seeds from Kaz for her favorite flower in the planter boxes she bought from a market in Ketterdam, sweeping the wind blown debris from the rooms of the little house on the property, etc.

Kaz had made the occasional trip back as well, but primarily relied on y/n’s detailed descriptions, stories, and analysis of their place in Lij. It was hard for him to go back; for many reasons. But, he couldn’t deny he missed it. He also couldn’t -though he certainly tried- ignore the way he felt when he and y/n were on the farm in Lij. It was uncomfortable in the sense that it was unfamiliar. But it was otherwise peaceful and homely. Not that it mattered. Kaz’s life was here; in Ketterdam, in the Barrel.

The couple had talked about moving at some point, but the conversation would always fade out when it came to what they’d be leaving behind. While most of their closest friends had all parted from the Barrel and Ketterdam entirely, there was still something -or someone- they’d be leaving behind. Jordie. Kaz’s late older brother who was resting under the cold harbor of Ketterdam.

While Kaz felt guilty for not being able to leave the area, he knew y/n more than understood his reasoning. Yet, that didn’t stop him from having to face his racing thoughts on the matter tonight. He felt as if his head was spinning. He wanted to offer his wife a comfortable life, a life in his childhood town, where she would be safe and free to do as she wished, where he might be able to put his past behind him. After all, he’d gotten his vengeance on Rollins. The only thing keeping Kaz here in the grungy streets of the Barrel -other than the easy influx of Kruge, which he could surely find a way to continue if he left- was his brother. It was foolish. Jordie was dead. He’d died long ago and he wasn’t coming back. Kaz’s staying here wouldn’t change that. Yet it felt wrong to leave the place his brother was, even if it was the same place that had taken that brother from him.

“I’m off to see Mila Jandersdat,” y/n said, breaking the silence.

Kaz smirked at the unnecessary use of Nina’s undercover name. “Is that so?” “Well, tell Ms. Jandersdat that she still owes me a new hat,” he commented lightly, referencing the one the Grisha had stolen on her last departure from Ketterdam.

Y/n laughed. “I’ll be sure to let the Fjerdan Prince know that their spouse is still indebted to you,” she teased, leaning down. Upon noticing Kaz didn’t react in a way that told her stop, she placed a kiss to his cheek.

Kaz looked up from his desk as y/n turned to move towards the door. He grabbed her hands in his bare ones. “Take my coat,” he instructed.

“It’s not that co-” y/n protested futilely.

“Take my coat,” Kaz echoed.

Y/n huffed lightly but nodded. “I’ll be back after the bakery, you’ll sure you don’t want to join?” She waited patiently for Kaz to answer. For the first time ever when asking that question, she actually hoped he’d say no. He usually did, and she hoped that was the case again today as she wanted to talk to Nina alone.

Kaz rewarded y/n’s kindness with a small but appreciative smile. He shook his head. “The ledger needs work,” he mumbled vaguely. In reality, he was just too in-his-head to handle anything else. He squeezed his wife’s hands faintly as he watched her depart.

Y/n swallowed another sip of her lemonade as she prepared to switch the tone of the visit she was having with Nina. She’d let her friend catch her up on everything she had done since they last saw each other. But now, y/n needed to ask her for a favor. “Okay, so…,” y/n began with an audible shift in her tone.

“Mmm?” Nina questioned knowingly as she glanced up from her plate.

“I need a favor,” y/n explained cautiously. She bit her lip as she waited for Nina’s reaction.

Nina sighed. “I don’t do Brekker favors anymore,” she reminded y/n.

“He’s not asking, I am,” y/n clarified. “Although he does want his hat back, or a new one in place of it,” she added to break the tension.

Nina laughed loudly. “Okay, if it’s for you, sure,” she accepted.

“I haven’t even asked,” y/n pointed out, “you don’t know what it is I’m asking you to do”.

“Doesn’t matter,” Nina winked.

Y/n giggled and shook her head with a timid smile gracing her lips.

“What is it?” Nina questioned, taking another bite of her cinnamon waffle.

“It involves your newly acquired skill set,” y/n mumbled quietly.

“Go on,” Nina urged, waving her fork at her friend.

Y/n bit her lip nervously and sighed. “I need nothing more than help to locate someone…” she explained, hoping to minimize the weight of her request.

“Someone deceased,” Nina clarified knowingly.

“Yes,” y/n acknowledged.

“Why?” The Grisha questioned as she swallowed another large bite.

“Closure…” y/n explained vaguely. She knew Kaz was needlessly embarrassed that he didn’t even know the exact placement of his late brother’s body in Ketterdam. Y/n had once suggested he visit Jordie to help him heal, even if he didn’t believe that kind of thing. Only, that was when she learned how deep Kaz’s guilt went. He didn’t know Jordie’s exact location and he blamed himself for that.

Y/n didn’t feel like she was crossing any boundaries. Nina already knew of Kaz’s brother; they all did by now. Plus, Y/n had asked Kaz before if he would want to know where Jordie was. In doing so, she learned he did want to know, just hadn’t initiated the process; an area where he often needed a push or assistance with.

It didn’t take long for y/n to explain to Nina what she needed from her. Nor did it take long for Nina to put her new skills to work in locating Jordie’s body. Y/n had of course gone with her, and she was pleased Kaz didn’t have to experience that part. While Nina’s skills were impressive, they were also a bit disturbing when you knew the deceased person she was calling out to. Nevertheless, Nina succeeded. Meaning y/n could now offer her husband the chance for more closure when it came to his past.

Y/n and Kaz were donned in matching black overcoats, walking with their elbow linked, as they made their way through the streets of the Barrel. Y/n had informed her husband of her discovery and offered for him to go alone or for her to go with him, leaving it up to him. Kaz didn’t directly ask her to go with him, but he made it clear that was what he wanted. So, the couple had departed from the Crow Club and were now watching as people parted to make way for the Barrel’s most powerful couple.

Y/n silently waited beside Kaz as he stood staring out at the water in the exact place Nina stated she located Jordie. It was clear he was trying not to get emotional, his eyes twinkling as he fought back tears. “You don’t have to do this,” y/n whispered supportively, “or we can break it up, I just thought maybe-”.

“No, it’s fine,” Kaz muttered shortly. After a few seconds of silence, he sighed. “You…” he began, trying to find a way to properly thank y/n for bringing him this chance. “I need to do this,” he admitted. “I should’ve years ago”.

Y/n shook her head. “That’s not how this works,” she defended.

The tears slowly trickling down Kaz’s face softened the intense sensation of drowning that filled his chest as he stared silently at the water where Jordie’s body allegedly was. The flashbacks that played in his mind were powerful, but less severe than they had been when he first started getting them years ago. And the now-comforting feeling of y/n’s hand in his kept him tethered to reality, to the moment; keeping him from succumbing to the feeling of drowning.

Y/n watched as Kaz kept his eyes closed for awhile. She didn’t say a word. She just watched his facial expression, listened to his breathing pattern, and kept a close eye on his overall state.

When he was done standing on the shore before his brother’s sunken body, Kaz turned to his wife. “Thank you,” he whispered shakily to her.

“Course,” y/n said, squeezing Kaz’s hand. She could tell he was still fighting off the rising water in his chest so she moved her hand to his jacket-covered elbow. “Let’s get you home,” she suggested warmly as she guided them back to the Slat.

“Th-” Kaz cleared his throat as he looked up from his dresser to make eye contact with y/n through the mirror. “Thank you,” he whispered gruffly. He took a long deep breath before adding, “for having me go”.

“Of course,” y/n hummed softly. She watched Kaz’s facial expressions in the mirror as she pushed her boots off with her feet. “So, it helped then?” She asked, trying to confirm she’d read through his faux stoic expression properly.

Kaz shifted his gaze back to his dresser as he stripped his outer layers off. “I know he’s gone,” he stated simply. But, his shoulders loosened and lowered as he nodded slowly. “But… yes, it did.”

“I’m glad,” y/n said and smiled tenderly as she crawled into their bed. She scooted under the covers as she analyzed Kaz as he prepared for the night. She could see that while it would still take time, today’s adventure had initiated a healing journey that hadn’t truly begun before now.

“You can tell Ms. Jandersdat that I don’t need a new hat,” Kaz mumbled as he approached the bed. He noticed y/n’s grin and small chuckle. He smirked and took a deep breath before he carefully slid into his side of the bed. “Goodnight, y/n/n,” he whispered as he uncharacteristically let his left hand cross the space between them under the sheets and rest atop y/N’s.

Y/n sighed as she searched the last possible place in the Slat that Kaz might have been. She’d already searched the Crow Club before she headed here. Yet, she still hadn’t located him. As she thought about where else her husband might have snuck off to, she thought back through what had transpired in the first place.

They had been sitting together in Kaz’s office this evening when he got word that there’d been an incident. One of his lead Dregs had informed him that this young orphan boy had somehow managed to find himself getting mixed up with Kaz’s crew. He hadn’t reacted well. The young orphan would be fine, but Kaz had set clear rules for his Dregs and this was a violation. He had stormed off to chew out his crew over the mistake. Y/n had been beside him as he lashed out at the Dregs and informed them of the sanctions for such an incident. Meaning she was there when he announced that as part of their consequences he was going to be taking their wages for the week. He’d grumbly whispered to her as he requested that she take the sum of their wages and ensure the boy’s hospital stay was paid for (and give him the remainder as compensation). When y/n had returned from doing so, she noticed Kaz’s disappearance.

Y/n knew as soon as they heard of the incident what Kaz would feel and how he’d react. She also knew why. The situation was far too familiar and personal for him. So, it hadn’t surprised her when he was not in the Slat nor the Crow Club when she arrived. However, it wasn’t until she remembered his behavior over the last several weeks that she realized where he must be.

Y/n buttoned her coat as she made her way to the harbor. She knew Kaz had to be there. It made sense when she recalled how often he’d been coming here since the day two months ago when she and Nina located Jordie. She had made a makeshift generic headstone (knowing Kaz wouldn’t want people to know the meaning or significance of the place much less connecting it to him) for the site so that if Kaz wished to return on his own he could do so easily; even if he was distracted by the emotional turmoil in his mind upon doing so. She and Kaz had went to the site together multiple times. And in the last few weeks he’d even gone by himself. It would make sense that today’s triggers would bring him back to the site that he now found some kind of connection and healing at.

Y/n saw him instantly. It didn’t matter that Ketterdam was pitch black at his hour and that Kaz was dressed head to toe in coal black clothing. She’d recognize Kaz’s silhouette and shadow no matter what. She watched him closely as she approached. He’d been getting better at opening up to her and even to himself since first coming here. But there was only so much he could do while staying stoic and keeping up his menacing image for the public. So it was no surprise that even tonight he was still keeping a wall up. He was shaking slightly, his breathing sharp and fists clenched. She could see he was still furious over what had happened, but the shine of the moon highlighted the fact his eyes were more moist than normal. It was progress, he was letting himself grieve finally. She debated about whether to approach or just say back and let him have his space. But, before she could determine what the best option was, Kaz answered it for her.

“You do not need to spy on your husband from the shadows,” Kaz muttered, his fists unraveling as he pictured the bashful expression that was likely gracing y/n’s face over his teasing comment. His back was to her as he stayed looking out at the harbor, but he heard her approaching. He extended the hand not holding his cane to the side, taking hold of her hand when she reached him. His eyes flickered over at her as he quickly scanned her to ensure she was dressed properly for the cold weather and had brought her weapon with her. After his eyes took in that she was wearing the thick winter coat he’d gotten her last year, long pants, boots, and saw the outline of her weapon in her coat pocket, he let out a silent sigh of relief. “It was a joke,” Kaz muttered as he watched y/n’s face.

“What?” Y/n questioned, her head turning to face Kaz.

“My comment, when you arrived,” Kaz explained. “It was a joke”. He squeezed her hand as he interlaced their fingers. “I mean, you don’t have to spy, but-”

“I wasn’t spying,” y/n argued.

Kaz lifted his brows teasingly as he gazed knowingly at y/n.

Y/n chuckled and shook her head. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to be alone,” she explained.

Kaz hummed. “I always want to be alone,” he admitted, looking back at the water. “Especially when… feeling like… well… feeling,” he simplified. He shook his head as his gaze returned to his wife’s presence. “Unless it’s you,” Kaz confessed, his cold cheeks thawing briefly as he blushed madly.

Y/n grinned at Kaz and squeezed his hand. “I’ll keep that in mind,” she promised. It was an indirect vow to fight off any uncertainty on how to proceed when Kaz was dealing with something. But, they both knew what it meant. Kaz was healing, he was being more open and honest, more needing of and seeking out his wife’s love and support when he needed it instead of shutting down and trying to push her away.

“What do you think would help you get closure?” Y/n questioned once she saw the faint calmness take over Kaz’s face.

“This helped,” Kaz admitted, referred to y/n having gotten Nina to help find Jordie’s body.

“I know, I can see it,” y/n hummed as she tenderly smiled over at Kaz. “And, I’m glad”. Y/n rubbed her thumb over the back of Kaz’s hand. “I know you don’t have faith or a religious belief of any kind, but,” she hesitated briefly, continuing only as Kaz squeezed her hand, “do you think a burial might help?”

“What?” Kaz croaked out in confusion and shock. He wasn’t sure what he expected y/n to say as a possible solution. But, he’d never anticipated that.

“Burying him,-” y/n began cautiously.

Kaz stiffened as he glared out at the water before them. “He is buried,” he pointed out.

“Right, yeah, no I know, Kaz,” y/n agreed sympathetically. “But, you hate the harbor, and well, water,” she frowned, “even outside of this, it’s distressing for you”. She sighed as she gazed out at the water as well. “So I thought maybe… I’d suggest that you think about an underground burial for him”. Y/n knowingly moved her hand around in Kaz’s hold when he tensed so that he wouldn’t feel as if he was holding a cold & stiff hand. “You’d still have a place to visit him, and-” she explained slowly.

“I can’t,” Kaz told y/n, cutting her off.

Y/n analyzed her husband’s face as she thought over her next words. “You wouldn’t have to see anything,” she promised. She knew he’d never admit such a vulnerability out loud while they were out in the public, but she knew it was likely one of his hesitations; Kaz already had Jordie’s dead body engraved in his mind, he didn’t need to see it again. “It would be done in secret, in the background, just Nina and I, we’d handle the-” y/n elaborated.

Kaz suddenly sharply turned to face y/n. His anxious eyes scanned her face as he tried to read if she was lying. “You’d do that?” He asked.

Y/n nodded affirmatively. “If you wanted, yes,” she promised. “I’m not expecting you to want to see, touch, or otherwise deal with any of this, Kaz”.

Kaz nodded slowly. He turned from y/n as he thought about her proposal. After a few moments of silence, he shook his head. “I can’t.”

“Okay,” y/n replied, squeezing Kaz’s hand. “That’s fine,” she assured him. “I knew you might not want to, I figured I’d offer but-”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want that,” Kaz spoke sharply. He closed his eyes painfully tight and sighed as he regretted his tone. His regret increased as he noticed the way his wife paused. Kaz took a deep but shaky breath before continuing. “It’s just…” he sighed, “Lij”.

“What about it?” Y/n questioned delicately as she scanned her husband’s profile.

Kaz’s eyes flickered off the water and towards his feet. He sighed and shook his head. “That’s where we should be.” He lifted his gaze up to meet y/N’s as he added, “you love the house and-”.

“Kaz,” y/n sighed.

Kaz shook his head softly, a silent signal for y/n to wait for him to explain before trying to confront him. “I want to be there too,” he confessed, watching his wife’s face for her reaction. “For us to be there. Together.” He tried not to cringe at how broken his words were coming out. “Not just for a trip. But for our…h-ho-….” Kaz murmured in a hushed voice.

“Our home?” Y/n clarified. When Kaz nodded stiffly, she smiled softly. This too was a big step for him, in many ways. “I love that idea, you know that.”

Kaz broke his eye contact with y/n as she looked back out at the water. His face took on a saddened expression. “I can’t ignore what happened here or move on,” he said remorsefully.

“No one says you have to forget or ignore it,” y/n commented, squeezing Kaz’s slightly trembling hand. “If you wanted to do the burial,” she began carefully.

“If we did the burial,” Kaz sighed, “we’d still be stuck here or I’d have to come back”. He shook his head. “I mean not have to, but-”.

“Kaz,” y/n spoke tenderly in order to stop his rambling. “He could come with us,” she suggested.

“What?” Kaz whispered.

Y/n rubbed the back of Kaz’s hand with her thumb. “Nina and I could get him back to Lij,” she offered. “He could have a proper burial”. She hesitated but continued with her thought, “a funeral even”.

“No mourners, no-” Kaz griped.

“Kaz,” y/n giggled lightly. She smiled faintly as her giggle made Kaz’s lip curl. “This is different,” she explained.

“No funeral,” Kaz replied firmly. Despite his gruff voice, he squeezed his wife’s hand as a silent thank you for the offer.

“Okay,” y/n accepted easily.

“But…” Kaz trailed off.

“But?” Y/n pressed gently.

Kaz took a deep breath and sighed. “Perhaps.. I do owe it to him,” he began slowly. “To finally get him out of these waters”.

“Kaz-” y/n frowned.

Kaz sighed but nonetheless accepted y/n’s unspoken response. He revised his wording as he knew why he was being scolded. “I owe it to him… to let him rest,” he rephrased quietly. “Even if just his body”.

Y/n’s lips curled minutely. “Okay,” she nodded. “We can arrange that”.

Kaz’s grip on y/n’s hand tightened unconsciously as he thought about the arrangement more. “I don’t…. I can’t see his-” he mumbled.

“You won’t,” y/n promised. She knew he meant he couldn’t face seeing his late brother’s body. And she had never intended for him to. It was an easy promise. She and Nina would get Jordie to Lij for Kaz without Kaz having to be further traumatized in the process.

Y/n’s eyes flickered between the wooden door that lead down to the cabin of Inej’s ship and the wooden casket that was being loaded on board.

Everything from their home was already packed and ready to depart via Inej’s ship to travel to the other end of Kerch; to Lij. Everything but Jodie. Y/n had sequestered her husband Kaz below deck with Wylan and Jesper to keep him company. Meanwhile, Nina, Inej, and several clueless Dregs, loaded Jordie’s coffin onto the ship. The engraved dark mahogany casket with elaborate metal hinges and personalized engraved metallic plating that was now encasing and hiding Jordie’s body had been made by Jesper and Wylan at y/n’s request. She and Nina had seen to getting Jordie’s body from the harbor to the casket undetected. Well, Nina managed Jordie’s body and ensured there was no lingering contagion nor decaying smell. While y/n had been on lookout in the immediate vicinity of the scene. And now Inej was helping them transport the unlabeled casket to Lij. It had been a full team effort and y/n was beyond grateful that her friends were so willing to help her with this.

Once the casket was secured, hidden from sight, and covered with a weather proof sheet, Y/n dismissed the clueless Dregs. She thanked the girls as she made her way down to the cabin below deck. She gave Kaz a small supportive smile in greeting as his eyes snapped towards her upon hearing her enter. She made her way over to the boys and sat down beside Kaz.

Kaz watched y/n fight her visible exhaustion as their friends chatted about their respective experiences in their new lives. He stared expectantly at her profile, waiting for her to glance his way in a silent question as to if she could rest against him. Only, she didn’t seem to notice. Instead, Kaz watched her eyes blink at an absurdly slow pace as she tried to fight a yawn. He stifled a chuckle, the suppressed desire to grin showing up as a faint smirk. He shook his head and nudged y/n. Kaz gave her a knowing look, pleased when she quickly comprehended his request and rested her head on his shoulder.

“Ready to give all this up?” Y/n asked in a whisper as her friends listened to Inej informing them of her latest adventures.

Kaz seemed to falter in shock. But, as he looked over at his wife, he nodded confidently. A smirk graced his lips as he murmured, “I’m always ready”.

Y/n giggled and playfully rolled her eyes. She leaned into his shoulder further as she smiled around at their friends. “Hey guys,” she whispered, quietly interrupting the conversation. When they turned to face her, she was greeted with several grins and knowing smirks given her current positioning with Kaz. “Thank you all for coming to help us move,” y/n hummed.

“You both helped us during ours,” Wylan commented with a smile.

“Well, y/n did,” Jesper corrected smugly, “Kaz just stood around”.

Kaz shot Jesper a light glare. “I was supervising,” he stated.

Y/n laughed loudly, covering her mouth with her hand when Kaz’s gaze snapped down at her questioningly. She giggled behind her hand as she tried to stifle her laughter. She lowered her hand and gave Kaz an innocent grin, making the corners of his lips curl up as he playfully shook his head at her.

———

Y/n made her way back down to the lower deck of Inej’s ship. She’d just gotten back from checking on the burial site. Earlier she’d arranged for one of the workers who’d been tending to the farm while they were away due a grave site prior to the crows’ arrival. Y/n had ensured that it was completed and was now returning to her husband as he waited below deck.

Y/n’s eyes met Kaz’s and she then glanced arrived the room in silent communication with him. She watched as Kaz nodded in understanding and acceptance that the others in the room, namely Jesper, was going to hear whatever she was about to say. She nodded back and walked to his side. “He’s in a casket, Kaz,” she explained tenderly. Y/n spared a look at Kaz’s hands and realized he must’ve caught on to her uncertainty as he randomly flipped his palm up and extended his hand towards her. She gave him a small smile and took his hand in hers. “We’re going to move him to the burial site,” she explained slowly, rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb. Y/n had a feeling she knew the answer to her question, but she didn’t want to not offer him the chance. “Did you want to come up and,-?” She began quietly.

“No,” Kaz replied stiffly as his body tensed.

“You don’t want to watch him go into,-” Jesper began to ask, not noticing the look y/n was giving him.

“No,” Kaz repeated gruffly. His hand tightened in y/n’s hold and he shifted his jaw. He managed a deep breath when her warm hand squeezed his lovingly.

“I know it’s hard,” Wylan said sympathetically. “But, it’s the only time-,” he argued, squinting in confusion at the realization y/n was shooting daggers at him.

“That’s enough,” y/n stated firmly. She shot her husband a subtle sympathetic look. She squeezed Kaz’s hand again, her thumb grazing the back of it as she went to move. She nodded her head at the others in signal for them to follow her.

———

“That was really beautiful, y/n,” Inej commented supportively as their group made their way back to the farmhouse.

Y/n smiled appreciatively at her friend. She and most of the other crows had all gone with her to help her bury Jordie’s casket and body. She intentionally buried him beside this one specific tree she recalled Kaz previously telling her a childhood story about. It was one of the few childhood memories Kaz actually had. While it was likely a story Jordie had passed down to Kaz, given Dirtyhands would’ve been too young to recall anything from his time here on his own, that almost made the location even more sentimental.

While y/n and the other crows respectfully buried Kaz’s late brother, Jesper had stayed behind to keep Kaz company. Not that Kaz would ever admit to needing or wanting such, even now. But his crows, his found family, knew him well enough.

As the group entered y/n and Kaz’s new home, Y/n greeted Jesper with the same appreciative grin she’d given the others after they helped with the burial. “Alright, so,” she murmured as her black boots echoed on the tiled flooring under her feet. “I say we unpack the bedroom stuff first?” Y/n asked, looking at her husband for his input, knowing Kaz wouldn’t want to talk about what she had just finished doing.

“That’s important,” Inej agreed, quickly picking up on y/n’s intentions.

“I’d say so,” Jesper smirked smugly as he winked over at the couple.

Y/n rolled her eyes. “Not like that, you degenerate,” she laughed. “I meant so that we would have something to sleep in. We can unpack over time but I kinda would like something to lay on,” she joked as she took her husband’s left hand in hers.

“Lay on… while wearing what?” Jesper teased as he wriggled his eyebrows.

Kaz used his unoccupied hand to smack Jesper upside the head as he also shot him a look.

“Whaaat?” Jesper whined as he held his head. He looked between y/n and Kaz as she parted from Kaz as she made her way over to the moving boxes.

“What do you mean what?!” Kaz remarked, his eyes scrutinizing his friend.

“Wylan doesn’t care,” Jesper defended, rubbing the back of his head. “He knows I’m joking,” he laughed with a shrug.

“I don’t care,” Kaz remarked simply as he waved the comment off dismissively. “Don’t talk about my wife like that,” he ordered. From his periphery, he saw the grin that formed on y/n’s face as the title ‘wife’ left his lips. But his scolding gaze never left Jesper.

Y/n walked back over to the bickering boys and rubbed Kaz’s back through his coat. “You heard him,” she said as she smirked at Jesper before she passed by them with a box in her hand.

“Y/n,” Jesper groaned loudly. “Help me out, it was a joke,” he whined with a dramatic pout.

“You’re on your own, Jes,” y/n chuckled from the hall.

Kaz continued to stare as Jesper turned back around hesitantly. He stifled a chuckle as the sharpshooter gave him a faux innocent expression. Kaz shook his head as he brushed past him on his way to help his wife with the boxes she had been carrying.

———

“If you keep smiling so much Brekker, you might erase your hard earned scowl lines,” Nina teased with a smug grin as she watched her friends who were snuggled up on the couch in their new place.

The group had all been making playful comments about how happy Kaz looked. But, it hadn’t caused the man to part from his wife’s side. Instead, he just teased them back or lightheartedly glared at the remarks throughout the evening.

As Kaz turned to face Zenik, his eyes caught sight of window and he realized that it was now after dusk. “On that note, I think you should be on your way,” he murmured.

“Kaz,” y/n scolded with a laugh. She shook her head and tugged on his arm she had linked with hers.

Kaz chuckled as he gazed down at his wife. “What?” He questioned with pretend confusion.

“He’s just playing coy, we know he loves us being here,” Nina winked. “But, we probably should head out before it gets too late,” she acknowledged.

Y/n smiled at their friends as they gathered just outside of her and Kaz’s front door for final goodbyes. She quickly parted from her place at her husband’s hip as she went to give everyone a hug. “Thank you all, again,” she smiled. “Please feel free to come visit, anytime,” y/n offered, returning to Kaz’s side.

Kaz gently set one of his hands on y/n’s far hip once she was back beside him. “But, write first,” he said stoically, despite the playful glint in his eyes. “Otherwise, you risk finding yourself staring down the wrong end of a barrel,” he warned.

“We know, we know,” Jesper smirked. He and Kaz exchanged knowing glances as the group all said they goodbyes.

———

Y/n watched from the window of their new home as Kaz sat beside Jordie’s burial site marker. If he’d visited before today, she hadn’t seen it. But, she was proud of him visiting the area after having only been here less than a week.

The tree and connected burial site were far enough away from the house that y/n had to squint to see much of anything from this far away. But she didn’t need to. She was simply proud he was finally allowing himself to grieve the loss of his brother after all this time.

Y/n wasn’t naive. She knew there still had a long way to go. That Kaz still had a lot to work through. She knew it might be difficult along the way but she was happy they were here. Kaz could now rest. He’d exacted his revenge on Pekka and now he’d helped his brother find rest back home. So, while they’ll still earned some income from the club, Kaz could finally have a life that wasn’t not so hard on his injured leg or traumatized mind; one where he could find closure and peace. And he deserved that.

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[amorgansgal]

A Full Heart

Hi, it's me again, being very broody and wanting Halsin to have so many babies! Inspired by @neontokyoo's post here I wrote a little something something about Halsin being a girl dad and having twins, because I just couldn't resist, ok??

Halsin x Female Tav

‘More girls and twins to boot, I don’t envy Halsin, that’s going to be a lot of work!’ 

Halsin had been tending the kitchen gardens in Reithwin when he heard voices float through the windows and it made him stop his work. His oldest daughter, Lyra, was still toddling about happily, her hands covered in mud (which he had to make sure she didn’t end up putting in her mouth) and she’d been eagerly ‘helping’ him as much as a two year old could. They had to replant a couple of things that weren’t ready to be cooked in the kitchen, though it warmed his heart to hear her hysterical laughter at a tiny little carrot. 

‘Baby carrot!’ she had crowed as though it were the funniest thing in the world. 

Now, he was distracted and continued to listen in to the conversation. Elves often had twins, so the fact that he now had two new babies wasn’t too much of a surprise and he had sensed them long before they were born. He had been thrilled that not only was he going to be a father again, but twins were seen as a blessing in Elven culture.

‘I know, he must be so disappointed that she’s given him more girls. Still, she’s young, still time for him to have a son.’

‘Not that young,’ someone else said sniffily. 

His blood simmered with irritation that they would speak so dismissively of his love, especially when she had been through the hells to birth their children and all of them were happy, healthy and safe. Why would they think that this wasn’t a blessing? Boy or girl, it hardly mattered as long as the child was happy and healthy. And he was delighted with them. Ara had been born with an almost disgruntled, dissatisfied look on her face as though she were appalled she had been forced to leave her safe, warm home. And Thalia had cried loudly, until she got to hold her twin’s hand while being held on Tav’s chest. Halsin almost wept at how perfect and beautiful they were.  And in comparison to himself, Tav was young and there was plenty of time to have more children - well, at least he hoped so. If Tav decided three were enough he wouldn’t force them to bear more, but truth be told, he had been hoping for five or six children.

He inhaled deeply, calming himself and got to his feet, quickly swooping Lyra up so she let out a little shriek of joy. Halsin smiled at her and picked up the basket of vegetables. ‘Come, let us put some rumours to rest and wash your hands and face, so your mother can see you.’

‘Stuff and nonsense, he’s always loved looking after the children, after all he was delighted when-’ one of the gossiping women was saying when he strolled into the kitchen. 

‘Oh Halsin!’ one of the older women cried out, he was glad to see the group at least had the decency to look ashamed. After a long silence, she continued, ‘We were just saying-’

‘I know full well,’ he put the basket down and carried Lyra over to a bucket of water, she happily splashed her hands in the cold water and squirmed when Halsin attempted to rub her hands with a bar of soap. It slipped from his grasp and fell into the bucket with a loud plop. Lyra giggled and reached in to grab it, the soap momentarily shot up to the surface and then disappeared again.

‘Slippy soap!’ his daughter cried out.

He fished the soap out and continued to clean his daughter’s hands. He almost felt a little bad that the women were nervously watching him, waiting with baited breath as to what he would do or say. He was no longer archdruid, he wasn’t exactly going to berate them especially in front of his child, however much he would like to. Once Lyra’s face and hands were clean from the mud, he lifted her back up.

‘Rather than speaking behind mine or my loved one’s back, I will assure you I am quite happy and content with three girls. If we have sons, then all well and good, but my heart has never been more full or delighted than with my daughters. We are not in the cities anymore, where such foolish, simple minded rules and beliefs exist concerning a man’s expectations of his wife or lover. Now, if you’ll excuse me,’ he said. ‘I must see to Tav.’

He did not wait for the women to speak further, but left the room. Lyra clung to him tightly and beamed up at him. He smiled at her, that look of adoration and happiness was all he lived for, what did he care if anyone else pitied him or thought he was weak or foolish for not being disappointed? As they approached their house, Lyra wiggled excitedly.

‘Mama?’ she asked.

‘Yes, we’re going to see Mama, and your new little sisters.’

[averagewriter-inthedark]

The Old Therebefore 🐍🕊️ | A Six of Crows Imagine

Takes place after the events of S&B S2

My masterlists

Characters & Pairings: gang leader!reader x Crows (platonic). Kaz Brekker x reader (slight tension)

content warnings: profanity, mentions of violence and death, typical SOC themes. | female!reader (she/her) | wc: 4k

Premise: it’s not often Kaz Brekker needs assistance to a job involving anyone other than his Crows. Yet, there is always a first. When a job comes involving not only a high cash prize but also chances of coming out alive slim, Kaz accepts it is out of his skill level. So, what does he do? Take a risk by recruiting his top rival since Pekka Rollins was run out of town….she’s got the charm of a snake with a voice of a songbird. 

Note: so as you can tell by the title of the imagine and song linked, I saw the new hunger games movie (back in November) and literally could not stop thinking about this song/scene. Then of course my hyperfixations like to collide and wallah: here is the end result.

Disclaimer as always: the song and lyrics belong to Suzanne collins and all the SOC characters belong to Leigh Bardugo

---------

“You know, Kaz, I know better than to question you on most things,” Jesper scanned his surroundings, voice low with slight concern. “But I can’t help but wonder why you’ve decided to drag us to the ‘Snake Pit’ tonight.” The sharpshooter sipped his glass of rum after a close inspection, “mind telling us.” 

Seated around him, Inej, Nina, and Wylan expressions bore the same unease. All on high alert the moment Kaz led them through the doors and down the spiral staircase into the Barrel’s infamous Snake Pit. 

Located deep on the opposite side of the Crow Club, the Snake Pit was an underground bar/club. Home of the legendary crime gang, the Blood Serpents. They’d been around since Kaz was 15, their leader to have been the same age as him. Yet the public knew very little of the notorious boss. Only by their code name. 

The Snake Charmer

Of course, this information made Kaz lose his mind at times. Unable to identify his anonymous rival who’s bested him on multiple occasions. If the opportunity arose, Kaz would pay any amount of kruge to find out who the Snake Charmer was. It’d been well over a decade. His patience was running thin.

Finally, the wait would pay off in the form of a messenger boy. 

Knowing Inej was too recognizable, Kaz sent a young member of the Dregs--who was under the radar to the other gangs--to infiltrate the Snake Pit the week prior. The boy returned hours later to relay a crucial piece of information. Now, Kaz was to test that theory. 

Clutching his cane, the crime boss did not spare a glance to his fellow Crows the second they entered the Pit. Even when they took claim to a rounded booth in a far corner by the bar. His attention was occupied. Analyzing the club and its features. Mentally noting the Blood Serpent members, who were identifiable by their red snake tattoos on their hands. 

One of which was the bartender that served them drinks. A young woman about their age, she wore a maroon pin-stripped 5 piece suit although the blazer was forgone. The tattoo was on full display. Kaz assessed her lingering on him when she pushed the tray of drinks toward Jesper. Likely recognizing him and by default the rest of the Crows. The bartender didn’t say anything after, only giving a nod before moving to the next customer. 

To the other Crows, they thought Kaz’s intense stare on the bartender was either because he thought she was attractive or making note she was just another member of the Serpents. But, what they did not know was Kaz figuring out if she was the Snake Charmer.

“A woman?” he questioned the boy, narrowing his eyes. “You are telling me the Snake Charmer--leader of the Blood Serpents--is a woman and works under the guise of an employee at the Snake Pit. Are you positive?”

The boy nodded profusely, “Yes, Mr. Brekker. I can assure you it was no man singing that song. She sounded like a siren if I must say. She calmed the snakes like it was nothing-- I see why they call her Snake Charmer.”

So a woman was responsible for a lot of Kaz’s failures. Not to mention winning the territory he’d hoped to gain when Pekka was defeated. They’d come to a settled agreement through a middle man. An action that annoyed Kaz. But he knew better than to wage war with the Snake Charmer. 

So far the women in the gang he’s managed to identify besides the bartender were two serving girls, a door bouncer, and two poker dealers. A total of six. Of the men, most of them were standing on the walls and mingling along the floor. 

Bet she didn’t expect him to enter her den. 

The Snake Pit was exactly like what the boy described. Dark wood floors and walls up to the high ceilings. Dangling chandeliers, poker tables, two bars on either side. Booths aligned the walls. The most notable and unique trait, however, was the glass snake enclosure right smack in the middle of the floor. It was cylinder shaped at the bottom, lining the floor to the ceiling where it branched out on either side to resemble a tree. Plants and dirt filled it. 

As did ten serpents. Ranging from tiny garden snakes to a python.  

Jesper cringed when his eyes landed on it. Wylan looked deathly afraid. Nina found it amusing. Inej thought it was fitting. Kaz was pleased to see it. To him, that was ammunition.

Kaz answered Jesper with one word that told the whole story, “Business.” 

“What business could you possibly have with the Snake Charmer?” Inej questioned, hand on her side close to her knives. “Don’t you think we should be discussing the plan?”

“And we are,” Kaz rebutted, leaning into the booth with his gaze set on the enclosure. “We’re here to flush out the Snake Charmer.” 

Jesper choked on his drink, meanwhile Nina and Inej looked at Kaz like he was crazy. “You’re fooling us aren’t you?” “Boss, jokes aren’t really your thing--.” “You’re insane, Kaz, if you believe that’ll happen.”

“You see that enclosure?” He cut off their rambling. All responded with a look of, ‘Of course we see the ginormous Snake habitat in the middle of the club full of our enemies.’ Kaz nodded to it, “we need to destroy it.”

Once again, Jesper choked. This time on his saliva. “You’ve lost it,” he ignored the glare from his boss, “Did going through the fold change you, Kaz? Clearly you’re not actually thinking we let loose a dozen snakes,” he leans forward to whisper, “we don’t even know if they’re venomous. If their bites don’t kill us, surely their owner will.” 

Analyzing Kaz, Inej lowered her tone, “what are you not telling us, Kaz?”

Giving one last scan of his surroundings, Kaz addressed his Crows with the truth of why he brought them to the Snake Pit. “I have a lead on who the owner of this establishment is.” Their reactions were immediate, Kaz continued. “A week ago I sent a young messenger boy here to scout out the place--find anything that could help identify the Serpents boss. During closing he snuck into one of their storage closets,” Kaz attempted to locate said closet, somewhere behind one of the bars. 

Kaz paid close attention to the bartender and the poker dealers. “At some point in the night, one of the snakes got loose. Or,” he turned to Jesper and Inej, “my theory is they use those snakes as a means to get information on people.”

“Great,” Nina sighs, “you want us to free the Serpent's torture method. Well done, Brekker. Excellent plan if I must say.” The heartrender received a glare, but Kaz did not entertain it further.

“As I was saying,” his tone was stern, making the others hold onto any additional comments. “The boy overheard the panic of one of the Serpents. Turns out, the Snake Charmer doesn’t take kindly to her pets being mishandled.”

“I can see why,” Jesper mutters, glancing at the enclosure. 

Kaz gripped his cane, watching the female bouncer approach the bartender and exchange words. “He then heard a woman’s voice. Singing.”

Wylan raised a brow, “Singing?”

“Whatever it was, it calmed the snake. Allowed her to return the animal back to its case. The boy said he heard arguing between a couple members who hoped to clean up their mistake before the boss discovered it.” Kaz shifted in his seat, “didn’t end well for them.”

“Did you get a look at her face?” Kaz peered out his office window, facing the direction of the Snake Pit’s location. Moonlight shining down, almost as though the Saints wanted him to see the building. Behind him, he heard the boy clear his throat.

“No, Sir.” He stuttered, tensing at the sight of Kaz lowering his head. “The door didn’t have any cracks or holes I could see through. I tried looking underneath, but only got a glimpse of their shoes.”

Kaz pinched the bridge of his nose, deep in thought. “What happened after she finished singing? How’d you get out?”

“Once the snake was handled, she ordered them to her office. She sounded….calm, but you know how you just know when someone is masking their anger. That’s how it was when she addressed them.” Kaz hummed, indicating he understood the boy’s implication. Considering he was guilty of such.

“And then?”

“I waited a few minutes until I was sure they were gone. The direction they went sounded like it was the far left of the club--opposite side of the spiral staircase that’s both the entrance and exit. I think there's a secret back entrance where they were because when I came out it was completely empty.”

Kaz found the secret back entrance. Camouflaged as a bookcase. He was able to spot the hinges carefully placed to where the light made it difficult to see them. But Kaz Brekker knew the art of illusion in the back of his hand. 

“This is what’s going to happen,” he became serious. The Crows lean in to hear him while maintaining their alert. “We need to expose those snakes from their enclosure. They’ll be our bait. From there we wait. If my theory is correct, those snakes only answer to their master. Or charmer in this case.” Kaz paused to locate the female workers in the club. “Her act as an employee is a ruse.”

Jesper followed his gaze, once again becoming riddled with unease. “You’re implying the Snake Charmer is either the bouncer who let us in, the gal who served our drinks, the serving girls working the floor or one of the poker dealers?”

“That’s exactly what I’m implying, Jesper.”

“Why would she do that?”

Nina snorted, sipping at her whiskey, “Isn’t it obvious?” she didn’t wait for an answer, “no one would pay a second glance to a worker. They are either too drunk or too naive to assume the pretty bartender or serving girl is the boss of one of Ketterdam’s deadly gangs.” She gestured to the serving girl closest to her. “My money’s on her being the Charmer.”

Jesper scoffed, “no way. To be a ghost and retain anonymity all these years you have to have a great poker face.” He states the obvious, “it’s one of the dealers.” 

Inej rolled her eyes, “are you seriously making this a competition?”

“You don’t think it could be the bouncer?” Wylan asked, scratching the back of his neck to relax the tension he felt. 

“No,” Jesper replied with a wave of a hand, “that would be obvious, don’t you think? Although….,” he rubs his chin, “considering they let us in -- and we know how much you and the Snake Charmer have been rivals so to speak all these years, boss -- you don’t think by letting us through that we walked into some sort of trap?”

Inej immediately straightened, “Jes has a point.” Nina stopped munching on her calamari, waiting for Kaz. She too realized the potential threat.

Kaz, however, remained relaxed. “It’s not the bouncer, but I know the Charmer has already been notified of our presence.” Wylan’s worry intensified.

“What makes you think that?”

“As we’ve been talking I noticed all the women working the club have interacted at some point. Some making it obvious to point us out,” He was referring to the bouncer nodding her head to the one serving girl. “Others are more discreet.” That was to the poker dealer and bartender. 

“And yet,” Jesper groans. “You still want us to make a scene. We are literally in a place crawling with snakes--pun not really intended.” the table rolled his eyes at him, save for Wylan who found the joke amusing. “Point is….you want to unleash the Snake Charmer’s serpents into a club full of innocent people--.”

“Innocent,” Nina scoffed under her breath. 

“What if one of us gets bitten?” Jesper kept his gaze on Kaz with mild concern. “I don’t believe for a second the Snake Charmer will kindly hand over the antidote to save our lives. She’ll take pleasure in watching us suffer a horrible death.” Picturing the scene, the sharpshooter downs the rest of his drink, cringing in the process. “Saints, this is not how I pictured I’d die.”

Kaz rolled his eyes, “No one’s dying today. No mourners.” Everyone glanced at each other.

“No funerals.”

“Right then,” It was time to work. “Here’s what we’ll do….”

A prayer slipped past his lips before Jesper inhaled deeply and let the bullet fly. The sound caused gasps from around him, though he was quick to hide the weapon in its holster before one noticed.

“Who did that?!” came a shout from the bouncer. Patrons were already making their way toward the exit. Not wanting to get caught in a crossfire. 

Jesper occupied himself with his rum, glancing over his shoulder to Inej, who signaled to him the bullet did not penetrate the glass completely. Sighing, he downed the contents, waited until it was clear, and shot again. 

The second bullet hit the glass with a loud clunk. Once again alerting the occupants of the Snake Pit. Many searched themselves for any sign of blood for fear they were shot by an unknown assailant. 

“C’mon,” Jesper whispered, peering at the enclosure. He saw the evidence of his bullet, a chip in the glass near the bottom. If he could time it right, without someone getting in the way, he’d hit the mark. 

Meanwhile employees of the club were trying to calm the crowd, “everyone please remain--.” Another shot rang out, more shouts echoing. Kaz’s patience was running thin. Their door to escape started to close as he noticed the security begin to close in on the Crows. No doubt suspecting they were to blame for the chaos. 

Kaz Brekker coming to the Snake Pit with his most trusted advisors for only a drink? Yeah right.

Then, almost in slow motion, the sound best described as ice cracking filled his ears. All eyes turned to the enclosure. Fear surfacing as they witnessed spiderwebs painting the glass. Then all hell broke loose when the glass gave way, allowing the beasts freedom from their isolation. 

Screams ensued. People climbing from the floors onto tables and chairs. Hissing from the snakes intensified the hysteria. Kaz even found himself moving when the python pivoted in his direction. Jesper of course found himself on top of a chair the moment the glass shattered. Inej was high up on a balcony on the opposite side of the club. How did she get up there? No one knew. Wyalan was close to Jesper. He too found safety on a stool. Nina meanwhile was listening to the heartbeats around here. The number decreased each time a patron made it up the staircase and out the door. 

Seconds passed and no sight of the Snake Charmer. Kaz was getting worried. Fearing the plan was a failure. His worry increased when he found himself scurrying on top of a poker table. Distracted with trying to find the workers he suspected of being the Snake Charmer to realize the cobra had got close to him. Had he not acted fast, the man’s leg would’ve fallen victim to its fangs. Catching Jesper’s eye, they shared the concern evident in their expressions. Wondering just how the fuck they were going to escape the situation. 

Suddenly his prayers were answered in the form of an angelic voice. Causing the screams to disappear…..

“You’re heading for heaven, 

The sweet old hereafter, 

And I’ve got one foot in the door. 

But before I can fly up, 

I’ve loose ends to tie up, 

Right here in The Old Therebefore.”

Heads turned, facing the direction of the sound. Their expressions turned into pure shock. Kaz may have had his suspicions, but it still came as a shock to discover he was right all along. 

Ketterdam’s notorious crime boss, leader of the Blood Serpents….was the Snake Pit’s bartender. 

Walking around the bar, crunching against the glass of broken bottles on the floor from the hysteria of customers fleeing to get away from the snakes, the woman kept her gaze on slithering animals. The hissing continued as she inched closer, however she did not seem fazed at all. Her singing continued.

“I’ll be along, 

When I’ve finished my song, 

When I’ve shut down the band, 

When I’ve played out my hand, 

When I’ve paid all my debts, 

When I have no regrets, 

Right here in The Old Therebefore. 

When nothing is left anymore.”

The hissing got quieter. The animals turning so they were in line with the woman. Slithering slowly but surely toward her. Confirming to everyone she was their master. Their charmer.

Off to the side, a few of the Blood Serpents rushed in with crates. Pushing people aside. Meanwhile the woman got to her knees, leveling down to the snakes who were now moving toward her. Eyes locked, face serious. The Snake Charmer was obviously trying to keep herself together. But Kaz felt the rage seep off of her. 

“I’ll catch you up, 

When I’ve emptied my cup, 

When I’ve worn out my friends, 

When I’ve burned out both ends, 

When I’ve cried all my tears, 

When I’ve conquered my fears, 

Right here in The Old Therebefore. 

When nothing is left anymore.”

The snakes smaller in size slithered up her outstretched arms. Covering both limbs in a tangle of scales. One slithering up to encase her neck, almost like a necklace. The Cobra took claim to her waist. The python circled her, almost like it contemplated joining its fellow serpents. 

Around Kaz, he made out the faint gasps of customers who had yet to depart. Glancing around, he witnessed them all in states of shock and awe. Even his Crows were at a loss of words. 

As was he.

The Snake Charmer’s voice turned strong. Echoing through the entire club as she belted out the next verse. Bringing chills to everyone’s arms.

“I’ll bring the news, 

When I’ve danced off my shoes, 

When my body’s closed down, 

When my boat’s run around, 

When I’ve tallied the score,

 And I’m flat on the floor, 

Right here in The Old Therebefore. 

When nothing is left anymore.”

Rising from the ground, she was covered by the creatures. Her python has wrapped itself around her leg. Its tail was on the floor while its head perched by where the cobra had secured itself on her belt. From the neck down the Snake Charmer was a sight to behold. Revealing why the nickname was not only because she was the leader of a gang filled with snakes. 

It was because she was gifted with the talent of charming their namesake.

Moving toward her subordinates holding crates, no doubt to keep the animals contained, the woman passionately sang the final verse. Giving it all she had. 

“When I’m pure like a dove, 

When I’ve learned how to love.”

Tone dropping, she leaned to lower the snakes into the crates. Gently as though they were newborn babies. Kaz caught her stoke the pythons head, her singing so low it was good the place was dead quiet. 

Right here in The Old Therebefore. 

When nothing is left anymore.”

Finally, after what felt like forever, the snakes were safely stored in the crates. Lids dropping shut with the gang members hurrying from the floor to transport them to another room. No one moved. Any and all eyes focused on the woman in the pinstripe suit. Back turned to the Crows and other patrons, but from the fearful look of her door bouncers, everyone silently prayed they’d make it to the morning. 

Moving her neck in a circle, a low crack from the joints that had been stiff, she slowly turned to face the audience. A clenched jaw and fury in her eyes made it clear what was going through her mind. Especially to Kaz, who was fighting to not look away when she instantly met his gaze.

Oh, she knew alright.

“Well…” the Charmer’s tone sent chills along the Crows' bodies. “You’ve certainly got my attention, Mr. Brekker.” Her spite was evident. Complete rage. Likely planning every means of torture she wished to bestow on her rival and his comrades. 

It was so quiet. So thrilling. Nobody dared to move a muscle. Patrons watching the stare down between the King, and now the unmasked Queen, of the Barrel. It was captivating yet terrifying. Wondering who would make the first move, and if it will end in a blood bath.

Then she snapped, “Everyone out!!” The floor cleared in seconds. Leaving only Serpents and Crows. They knew better than to attempt an escape. Plus the moment their boss addressed Kaz, the Serpents had circled them to prevent any sudden attack. 

Kaz remained composed. Watching closely as the Snake Charmer moved to the bar to pour herself a drink. “Before I kill you, Kaz Brekker, and your little birds too,” she did not look at him, paying attention to the liquid filling the glass. He tightened his jaw. “I want to hear you explain to me why you brought yourselves to my club,” bringing the glass to her lips, she downed half the alcohol in one gulp. Drawing her eyes up to make contact with him, “And destroyed my babies' home.”

Her footsteps echoed, walking toward the center of the floor where Kaz stood. “You’re a smart man.” She took another sip, this time slower. “Not only did you manage to draw me into the light, but you knew exactly how to do so.” A smirk plastered on Kaz’s face. A bold move considering the threat lingering at displaying his smugness to the Serpent Queen. Her lips were in a thin line, “What brings you to my den?”

Straightening his posture, Kaz stepped closer. Their distance is only a mere foot from one another. Making everyone--Crows and Serpents alike--suffocating from the tension between the two. 

“You won’t be killing us tonight, Charmer.” If only he knew her real name. Only having her title felt like she had some reign on him. Superior in a sense. The whole Barrel knew him as Dirtyhands, but Kaz Brekker had his own reputation. For her, people can now put a face to the name Snake Charmer. A beautiful woman with the voice of an angel. So powerful it made snakes bend to her will. 

Also, people would be shaken by the fact the deadly gang leader served them drinks during their visits to the Snake Pit. Hidden in plain sight. Listening to them spill their drunken secrets. 

Kaz leaned closer, the scent of her perfume hitting his nostrils. Jasmine. A flower known to attract snakes. He understood why she wore it. The smell was alluring. As was her presence, but Kaz dismissed the thought as quick as it came. “Doing so will result in you losing an important job I’m willing to negotiate your assistance on. Believe me, the reward is more than generous--enough for the both of us to share.” Now he got her attention, confirmed by the way her head slightly tilted, brow raised. 

“Humor me, Brekker.”

“Have you ever heard of jurda parem?”

[nisaetus-nerd]

Blog cover by @/katiethecreature.

🦅 Introduction 🦅

Salutations! You may call me Captain, though I also go by Phoebe (along with various kin names/nicknames). I am 16 years old and autistic, with an interest in ornithology, the sciences, and ghost-related fiction.

I am not a particularly sociable person, but I hope to interact with like-minded individuals. This blog will consequently focus on my experiences as an avian therian.

Tumblr is not where I am most active — if you are looking to reach me, please do so through my Discord (@sayornis_spectre). [Excuse the different user; this account is a bit of an incognito one.]

(More under the cut!)

🪶 Theriotypes

(Flags were designed by me and entirely free for others to use — they signify a Wallace’s Hawk-eagle therian and Common [Eurasian] Kestrel therian [though the flag is specifically based on female kestrels].)

Wallace’s Hawk-eagle (Nisaetus nanus)

Common Kestrel (Falco tinnunculus)

I am also a Lemon Shark (Negaprion brevirostris), along with Falco- (genus) and Carcharhinidae-hearted (with heavy emphasis on Blacktip Reef Sharks [Carcharhinus melanopterus], which is more of a midst-type).

(I have a variety of other additional kintypes and heart-types, though my experiences revolving around these are not the focus of this blog.)

If you are curious about the shark elements of my identity, visit my side-blog, @negaprion-nerd!

🪶 Pronouns

I predominantly use bird-themed noun neopronouns, as my gender is largely influenced by my alterhumanity. Not all of my preferred pronouns are listed — feel free to experiment with others. The only one notably off-limits is ‘tweet’ (as a noun neopronoun); this has been used in an offensive manner towards me in the past and has negative associations.

chirp/chirp/chirps/chirpself

ghost/ghost/ghosts/ghostself

bite/bite/bites/biteself

beak/beaker/beakers/beakerself

it/it/its/itself

The comprehensive list of my pronouns (and names/nicknames) can be found in this Google document.

🪶Interests

My non-bird-related interests will seldom be mentioned here; I am listing them purely as conversational starting-points (I have no objections to chatting about shared interests — feel free to approach me about any of them!).

Despite this, keep in mind that these are my interests, and not always my areas of expertise. Though I know a considerable amount about some of the listed, I may just be looking to research into them. Do not ask me for information of the following; this makes me uncomfortable.

(It should be noted that I have left many of my interests unlisted.)

🧪 General

Ornithology (this is my most dominant special interest!)

Natural Sciences as a whole (this is another special interest of mine)

Natural History (I am utmost intrigued by animals and fungi)

Evolution, Taxonomy & Genetics

Falconry & Birds of Prey

Sharks

Ghosts

🧪 Media

BBC Ghosts

Dead Boy Detectives (TV)

BBC Merlin

Luca (2021)

Ghostbusters (Movies)

Rio (Movies)

Bluey

Ducktales (2017)

Six of Crows (Duology)

Lockwood & Co. (Book Series)

Sherlock & Co. (Podcast)

The Magnus Archives (Podcast)

Imagine Dragons

🪶 Tag Key

#captips posts revolving around things I like to do to feel closer to my theriotype/s.

#nis-art-tus posts including art/crafts I have made. I am mostly a digital artist, but I do dabble in physical mediums.

#facto tinnunculus miscellaneous bird facts, perhaps relevant to avian therians.

#cap’s userboxes all fulfilled userbox requests will be tagged with this — anyone is welcome to use these userboxes, regardless of having requested them or not, so long as I am credited. (There may be exceptions, which will be stated within the post itself.)

🧪 As of the 5th of September (2024), I no longer take requests.

🪶 Userboxes Hoard

Please do not use these without my prior approval. Some of these userboxes are tailored specifically to my personal needs, and I am therefore uncomfortable with them being used by others.

🧪 Userboxes by Others

Userboxes by @/katiethecreature.

[fandomscompilation]

Black roses (Kaz Brekker x Reader)

Fandom: Six of Crows

Pairing: slight Kaz Brekker x Reader

Warnings: mentions of cheating (?)

A/N: Hi everyone! I'm so sorry for not posting for so long and not continuing on the two series I had going on. I lost inspiration for both works, seeing them as a copy of the show and not my own work. But no worries, I'm back to writing and plan on letting new parts out soon! But in the meantime enjoy a little one shot and maybe there'll be more to come during the wait! Let me know what you think and remember my requests are open 🫶🏻

Gif is not mine!

Once a month pigeons flocked to the Crow Club, even Ketterdams citizens went to play The Pure Luck. The game was led by a young woman. Her shuffling didn't allow anyone to count the cards, for she had her own chaotic ways. Some believed even she didn't know what would be dealt. Others believed she was so deciving that nobody suspected anything. But no matter the rumors and theories people still crowded her table.

The thing was not everyone was allowed to play at her table. She chose those that could sit down and have a chance at luck. She lured people in with her charm. Her easygoing nature allowing players to relax and enjoy their night. The table was always full of jokes, banter and laughter. It was a sight to see.

"It seems you're out of money, Sir." The girl smiled at the man across from her. There were only three players left. It was their last chance at winning and this man was desperate to have his money back at least.

"Two cards." He said throwing them to her for a change. She looked to the table before meeting his gaze again.

"Two secrets. Are you willing to pay the prize?" Her innocent voice reached his ears and after a small huff the man nodded to the cards thrown. She shuffled her cards quickly and put down the first one.

Nothing escaped her eyes. He was sweating, his lips twitched almost unnoticeably. But she trained herself to notice those minimalistic changes. After all he was playing her game now.

"Still a chance to back down, sir." He met her eyes only to nod again.

"The second one." He said looking at her hands. She shuffled the deck again and put down another card. The man frowned before showing his cards. He lost.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner. Congratulations Mrs. Frederick, you can collect your special prize at the bar." They all shook hands before she led the man to the back room.

It was just a small storage converted into lookalike office. One desk, two chairs. "Two secrets sir."

The night life at the club continued while the two talked. For anyone from the outside it was a regular occurrence, but for those that knew it was crucial. For the girl was not a normal dealer of cards. Each month she would collect secrets and unbeknownst to others she'd then meet with Dirtyhands himself.

When he entered his office she was already in front of his desk, shuffling her black deck of cards. He circled the desk and took his sit while she kept her eyes on the cards.

"He's been having an affair, three years." Her soft voice filled the silence. He only hummed starting at his own work. "It started after him and his wife couldn't start a family. So he found someone else. A man."

"And why is it important?" He asked making her put down the cards.

"Because he works at the Ravkan embassy and he got the job thanks to his father." She put down her deck and leaned back in her chair. "If one would learn of his meetings and accidentally send one of Ravkan's aristocracy to see, then his father would learn the truth and take away his position."

"Why would one open a seat at their embassy?" Kaz asked meeting her eyes. She smiled lightly with a plan already made.

"He had an ultimatum. If he marries then the job is his. But-" She leaned in closer to him. "he has a younger brother. One that enjoys life and could be easily manipulated. He would fit in just well in our city."

"And what about Mrs. Frederick?" Brekker asked going back to his work. She shrugged going back to her shuffling.

"Her son is getting divorced due to him falling in love with another woman. One that works at one of the clubs." She said lightly but still risked a glance at him. And she was right to do so, cause his jaw twitched.

"Really?" Kaz drawled scribbling even harder now.

"Well, he's head over heels for her. Mrs. Frederick said he plans on bringing her flowers tomorrow for it's the day he'll be legally divorced." She wasn't ignorant enough to not realise it was her, who the man loved. But she also knew his nature. The man was known to have affairs and to think with his manhood more than his brain.

"Not an important secret." Brekker said before sending her off. She went straight to her room, just one floor lower and sleep soon caught up to her.

The next day she spend on the Crow Club's floor. She didn't deal that night, but she still played few games and talked with frequent visitors. People loved her company for she gave them a sense of calm and security in a twisted place.

It was noon when Mrs. Frederick son, Joseph, entered the Club. He was in a formal attire with a bouquet of red roses in his hand. The Crows watched how he scanned the floors and his face broke out into a wide smile upon noticing Y/N. She was enjoying her drink with Inej and Jesper during one of the rare quiet moments.

"I hope I'm not interrupting." The man said stopping only a step away from her. She twisted her body to face him and gave a light smile.

"Of course not. Are you looking for someone?" She questioned softly and as innocent as she could. After her talk with his mother she hoped he would not approach her in the open, but she was wrong yet again.

"I'm actually here for you." He said still smiling oblivious to her discomfort. "And those are for you too." Joseph handed her the bouquet.

She looked from his face to the flowers. The bouquet looked quiet expensive for a city like Ketterdam. But no matter the prize she didn't want to give the man false hope if she accepted the gift. She was aware of his affection but for her he was only a player at her table, a man with secrets she could use.

"That's really kind of you, Joseph." She started lightly and breathed deeply. But before she could decline a cane met his elbow making Joseph retract his arm.

"Red roses, really?" Kaz drowled glaring at the flowers like they had pricked him already.

"I'm sorry?" The man frowned straightening up. The three Crows looked between the both of them in shock and confusion. Kaz Brekker was acting possessive and it was not a daily occurrence.

"You talk about your affection openly and yet you don't know that Y/N prefers black flowers." He said already sporting a look of a winner. He was confident in his knowledge about the girl and her likes.

"Why would the colour matter? It's about the gesture." Joseph argued looking back to Y/N in hopes of continuing their conversation. But yet again Brekker spoke up.

"I was trying to be nice. If you won't stop harassing one of my workers I will remove you from my Club." His words were now spoke in the harsh tone that was associated with one and only Dirtyhands.

"You have no right to do that." The man huffed going back to smile at Y/N. "She wants me here." The silence that followed was full of tension. Both man turned to look at her in expectation. Either she'd make Joseph be removed or accept his gift and let whatever this was continue. Her eyes went from the roses to Kaz who calmly met her gaze.

"I'm not a fan of red." Her soft voice broke the silence. Joseph tightened his jaw in anger, while Kaz gave a slight smirk. In moments few Dregs had the man removed while the Crows watched.

"Enjoy the rest of your evening, we've got a job tomorrow." Brekker said heading back to his office. They sat confused before Y/N sprang to her feet and ran after him.

She barged into his office just to have him waiting with two glasses of wine. He was not a fan of wine. Neither did he like flowers in his office, but there, on the side of his desk was a bouquet of black roses. They eyes met only for a moment. But it was enough to make her sit down in front of him and enjoy the drink in silence, while he worked and she smelled the flowers.

[thetarsier]

I would love just some good old fluff/angst moments, anything you want or think of I will be happy with. Inej or Remus have my heart but feel free to do any six of crow or marauders character<3 also welcome to tumblr!!!!

a/n: thank you for this, and thank you for the welcome! i'm liking it so far... :)

Summary: You overhear Remus talking about his crush, and it doesn’t occur to you that it might be you.

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings/notes: fem!reader, self-doubt and self-deprecating thoughts, drinking and being drunk, i think that’s it.

<3: remus lupin x fem!reader

You smiled as you entered the portrait that led to the Gryffindor common room. It had been a long day, and all you really wanted was to see your friends, your boys, and have them cheer you up. You knew they were in there since they rarely ever left unless they were pulling a prank, and the anticipation of seeing them made you practically giddy. 

Well, the anticipation of seeing one of them in particular: Remus. He’d been your friend since first year, but ever since you were twelve, you’d wanted something more from him. You couldn’t tell if he felt the same way; Remus was the master of mixed signals, and you, the queen of overthinking. In an effort to keep him by your side, you never spoke or acted on your feelings, but that didn’t mean that they weren’t there.

“Ooh, Moony’s whipped,” Sirius laughed loudly, and you slowed your steps, “Honestly, mate, there’s nothing you can do now. You’re gone.”

“Don’t tease me,” Remus complained, “I know, I know. I just can’t stop thinking about her.” 

That stopped you in your tracks. Remus had a crush on someone. Someone that was probably much prettier, smarter, and funnier than you. Somebody who Remus hadn’t seen in her pyjamas on a Saturday afternoon, somebody who hadn’t laughed so hard she spat her drink out in front of him. A nice, ladylike girl. 

“We know, she’s so perfect,” James chipped in, “You tell us every time. I’m sick of listening to it.”

“‘Her hair, her eyes, her smile,’” Sirius imitated Remus, and you took a step back towards the portrait hole, “‘God, her laugh.’” 

You should have known that Remus would never like you back. You were quiet, and awkward, and you didn’t always like the pranks that he and the boys played on the other students. Of course, he was looking elsewhere while your eyes were glued to him. After almost five years of pining, this was how your relationship was meant to play out. 

Running from the common room, you had no destination in mind, just the knowledge that you weren’t good enough and the urgent need to find somewhere quiet to cry in your head.

~~~

“Hey, sweet girl,” Remus grinned as he slid into the seat next to you, “Sleep well?”

You smiled weakly with a small nod in his direction before you turned your attention back to Professor McGonagall, who was explaining the lesson at the front of the classroom. Remus’ shoulder brushed yours as he twisted to set his bag down, and you immediately shuffled away from him, trying to keep your eyes on your teacher despite Remus’ attention being on you. 

“Everything okay?” He asked in that kind tone that made your insides pool, “You didn’t come to see us yesterday.”

“I’m fine. I just had a lot of work to do.”

Remus let it go in favour of writing down the notes that McGongall had written on the board, and you tried your hardest to ignore his presence beside you. You used to think that it meant something, only because James and Sirius sat all the way on the other side of the room, and Remus chose to leave his friends to sit next to you. 

Now, you knew that it was nothing but pity that drove him to sit with you. 

The lesson ended with the bell, and you gathered your things without another word to Remus. His eyes burned holes into your back as you retreated, but he didn’t try to go after you, probably because James and Sirius were more important than you, or perhaps the girl he actually liked was in the class, too, and he was distracted by her. 

Either way, his silence was enough confirmation for you, and you hurried to the library in an attempt to get away from him. 

Remus spent a lot of time in the library, but you knew that he had ancient runes next period, which gave you at least an hour to study before he might find you. Then, you could hide in your dorm until dinner, where you could surround yourself with some of your other friends and act too busy to care about him. 

You wanted to be happy for Remus - he’d confided in you about how difficult it was for him to open up to people and trust them, so him having a crush on someone was huge - but the jealousy was almost too much to bear. You would bear it, though. You would bear the weight of the world for him, and the only pain you would feel would be the knowledge that he wouldn’t do the same for you.

Which was fine, of course, it was fine; you couldn’t force Remus to feel for you what you felt for him. It hurt, though. A steady, piercing type of pain that clawed down your throat and lodged itself in your heart, stabbing you every time you thought of him, or your non-existent future together.

And, oh, did you imagine. Living somewhere peaceful in the countryside, probably not very rich, but definitely happy. Baking cookies whenever you wanted, dancing in the kitchen at midnight, waking up and seeing his face illuminated by the soft sun. Having dinner parties with the other boys, drinking wine outside and watching the sunset, having him kiss your forehead as the two of you saw out another day. It was all there for you to access, yet it was wholly inaccessible. 

It had been more than your designated hour by the time you wrapped up, and as you picked up your bag to leave, you noticed Remus standing in the doorway, eyes searching the library for something. You cringed away, turning around and hiding behind the nearest bookshelf until the time came when you peered around the wood and found that the sandy-haired boy was gone. 

Only then did you leave, heading straight to your dorm to avoid Remus some more.

~~~

Gryffindor had won the quidditch cup, and James was throwing a party in the common room to celebrate. A party which involved a lot of alcohol, music, and dancing. It wasn’t your usual scene, but you’d gone to show your support, and you couldn’t even get to the door to leave if you had wanted to. 

You were, however, pressed up against the wall, practically willing it to swallow you up as you watched Remus talking to a group of girls across the room. They were all giggling at the things he was saying, one of them even reaching over to touch his arm. Remus wasn’t yours to be possessive over, but the jealousy was rising back up your throat quicker than you could control it, fuelled by the alcohol in your system. 

With a scoff, you pushed off of the wall and climbed the stairs to your left, following them around until you came to the window, where you decided to sit for a bit, just to get a bit of air. It was a wonder that a couple hadn’t decided to stop there for some time alone, but it was all the better for you as you stared out at the hills that surrounded the castle. 

You weren’t certain how long you’d sat there staring, but it certainly wasn’t long enough before somebody interrupted you by clearing their throat. Breaking your gaze, you turned to whoever it was, not sure whether to be surprised or not when your eyes landed on Remus, hands shoved into his pockets awkwardly. 

“You alright?” He asked.

“Yeah. Fine.” You answered.

He sighed, sitting down on the window seat by your feet and staring intently at you. By the slight droop of his eyes, you could tell that he’d had a few drinks, possibly even more than you. 

“You’ve been so off lately,” He accused, his voice slightly less gentle than it usually was with you, “What’s up with you?”

“What? Nothing.”

“Did I do something? Is that what it is? Did I upset you in some way?” He reached forward and gripped one of your hands, “Please, forgive me.”

“Stop, Remus,” You tugged your hand from between his, “You’re just being mean, now.”

“Mean?” He pulled back, brows furrowed, “I’ve been mean to you.”

He said it like it was a fact. Like he was simply accepting what you’d said as the truth, and something about it felt wrong. He hadn’t been mean to you. He didn’t owe you anything, he was just doing what he wanted to do and if that didn’t include you, then that wasn’t up to you.

Shaking your head, you answered, “No, you haven’t. I’m just tired.”

“Don’t do that to me-” He slinked forward, the top of his head falling onto your chest, eyes looking right down into your cleavage. “-I don’t ever want to be mean to you.”

“You’re not,” You gently encouraged his head away from you, your hand lingering on his cheek for slightly too long, “It’s my fault.”

“No,” He pouted, “Nothing’s your fault. Nothing ever.”

You laughed, and his pout lightened into a smile, “I think I’m at fault quite a bit. Come on, you should go to bed.”

“Only if you join me.” 

Again, you laughed, standing and allowing him to lean his weight onto you as you climbed the rest of the stairs up to his dorm and into his bed. You didn’t bother helping him undress, or brush his teeth, or anything of the sort - he was far too drunk to bother with any of those things - but he gripped onto your hand, prohibiting you from leaving before he fell asleep and his grip finally loosened. 

You left him in his bed, asleep, closing the door softly behind you. Remus was your best friend, that was all. You were going to have to get used to that before it ate you up from the inside out.

~~~

Remus found you again the next morning, hair still messy, and dark circles apparent under his eyes. He dropped onto the grass next to you, fingers immediately beginning to pick at the grass in front of him as you smiled a greeting at him. 

“Thanks for taking care of me last night.” He offered in his own greeting. 

“I just put you to bed, it’s fine. However, I did have the privilege of  listening to you ramble about how I can do no wrong, so…”

“God…” He buried his face in his hands, “I’m sorry.”

“No, no. I’ll be reminding you of it whenever we next argue.”

He blushed, and you failed miserably at trying to stop your heart from turning into a puddle at your feet. God, this whole ‘trying not to have a crush on your best friend’ thing was going terribly - it seemed that you were particularly bad at not being in love with Remus Lupin, it was as though nothing he could do would ever dissuade you. You just wanted to be his, even if he wanted to be someone else’s. 

“So,” You started again, “Did you talk to her at the party?”

“Who?” He furrowed his eyebrows, revealing the small dimple right above his right brow that you longed to brush over with your thumb. 

“Your crush. I heard you talking about her a couple of weeks ago, you know,” You admitted, avoiding his eyes, “If she has any sense, she’ll be head over heels for you, too.”

“I’m not so sure…” Remus trailed off, “She’s been a bit distant lately.”

“Maybe she’s just confused,” You smiled despite the fault forming in your heart, “Or playing hard to get.”

“She’s not the type,” Remus returned your smile with a slightly embarrassed one of his own, “You heard me talk about her? Do you know who she is?”

“No, I didn’t hear her name.”

Perhaps you were imagining the way his shoulders sagged in what seemed to simultaneously be relief and disappointment, but you certainly didn’t fabricate his finger brushing over yours on the prickly grass. 

“Do you want to know her name?”

You nodded. Despite the fact that you already despised this girl beyond belief, you were also sure that if Remus liked her, she had to be some kind of angel on Earth. She was probably the kindest, prettiest girl at Hogwarts, and you held your breath as though waiting to be handed a court verdict.

But you weren’t given a name. Instead, a warm hand brushed your cheek, and Remus leaned towards you, lips just a breath away from yours, waiting for you to pull back. When you didn’t, paralysed by shock and desire, he persevered and kissed you. It wasn’t the kind of kiss that played with fireworks in the back in a dramatic film, it was a soft, slow, special kind of kiss that seemed unique to the two of you. 

It was perfect. 

When Remus pulled away, hands still holding your face, the only thing you could manage to say was: “So? What’s her name?”

And all Remus could do was laugh before he kissed you again and again and again.

[otherwordlyanathema]

GOJO SATORU X F!READER

DESCENT INTO INSANITY

Wherein Gojo Satoru is the anchor that keeps you sane.

A/N: Currently crying because of Leaks 😭

'Satoru is dead?'

Y/N couldn't wrap her head around it. One minute he was standing triumphant after annihilating the majority of Shinjuku with his Hallow Purple, the next thing they knew; Sukuna had disembodied him in half.

Everyone was silent.

The situation changed drastically that they couldn't wrap their head around it.

Gojo's students were in anguish.

Y/N watched as Kashimo jumped down as the next contender against Sukuna.

"No! No!" she mumbled, frantically. "Satoru's body is still there..."

It was Hakari who first sprung into action, dashing towards where Kashimo and Sukuna are clashing and narrowly dodging being cut as he took Gojo's body from the battlefield. Returning back to the others, he laid the Special Grade down in front of his lover.

Y/N was a Special Grade in her own right. She was often overlooked because she allowed Gojo's brightness to shine and allowed herself to stay in the background.

Nobody knew how destructive she could be. She was kept in check because Satoru made her happy. Happy and contented enough that she could keep her unstable powers at bay.

Choked sobs escaped from her throat at the sight of Satoru's body.

It hurt like nothing she experienced before. Seeing him bloodied.

From beside her, Shoko knelt down placing a hand where Gojo was cleaved. With her Reverse Cursed Technique, she healed the skin to reattach despite not knowing what it would do. She figured Y/N deserved to see Satoru as she met him.

'I don't know if Satoru could come back from this but at least this gives him a fighting chance.' Shoko thought, sadly looking at her annoying friend.

Y/N let out a heartbroken scream which broke the heart of the spectators of the Battle of the Strongest.

Kneeling down beside Satoru, her hand caressed his blood stained hair and she wiped the blood on his lips with her sleeve. Her hands covered his once bright Six-Eyes that she loved so much as she moved them closed.

'Satoru did not deserve this. He had done so much only to end up like this.' Y/N thought, bitterly. 'You don't know how much I wanted to shelter you from this world you did so much to uphold order.'

Something else had taken root inside of Y/N.

They said death of a beloved makes you numb.

Not in her case.

Her entire being screamed revenge.

Shoko's eyes widened as her gaze drifted to Y/N. Her friend's Cursed Energy was pulsing dangerously. "Y/N what..."

Y/N's leaking Cursed Energy caused everyone to wince at how intense it was.

"Y/N stop! You'll manifest a curse like this!" Shoko scolded, attempting to get the female to calm down.

To their surprise, the female vanished before one of Mei Mei's crows had spotted Y/N levitating above where the clash of Sukuna and Kashimo were currently happening.

'And here comes the numbness they were talking about during grief.' Y/N thought, mustering up her Cursed Energy at maximum output as her eyes took on a crazed look.

'What good has being good done me? None. I'm done being good. The world is about to witness how bad I can be.'

---FLASHBACK---

"Aren't you tired, love?" Y/N asked an exhausted Gojo, who just returned from a solo mission.

His eyes brightened even more at the sight of the female cooking. He bounded towards her and wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his head in the crook of her neck. "I am. But I do it for you and the kids. I think that's enough of an incentive to keep going."

Her eyes widened at his statement and how serious he actually seemed. "I want to be able to protect you too. Or at the very least be a sanctuary where you can actually relax and let your guard down."

His only response was a smile, inhaling her scent that never fails to make him content. 'You already do. Coming home to you is sanctuary enough.'

---END FLASHBACK---

"What is life without you, Satoru?" She murmured before a maniacal look came on her once angelic features. "What use is this world without you?"

Her Cursed Energy continued emerging from her, fueled by her desire to destroy it all. It manifested into a huge black sphere of condensed Cursed Energy, ready to raze anything in its path.

She's slowly realizing she wasn't meant to save the world, rather to watch it burn.

"Watch me burn this world for what it has done to you, Satoru."

[chaosduckies]

First of all, Congratulations for 100!

For the writing commissions thing, Could you do a story based on a song?

I have been obsessed with this song (funny that it's already based on a novel) and would love to see a g/t story with it!

Thank you! :D

This one was hard if I’m being honest, but I still managed it! (If you don’t like it, I’ll re-write it! But please tell me what you specifically want haha-) This one is basically a combination of how I interpreted the song and what the novel it’s based on is about (It’s Six of Crows right? Cause if it isn’t that would ruin this entire piece-) This is a kind-of parental g/t, so I’m sorry if you don’t like that trope TwT

But I hope you enjoy! :D

Word Count: 3.7k

CW: Mentions of death

Birds Of A Feather

I’ve never had to stay more quiet in a single house in my entire life. The way the humans’ steps seemed to echo throughout the house sent a slight shiver down my spine, but I didn’t pay any mind. I’ve done this before thousands of times. I wait for him to go outside on his daily walk, get what I need, and head back to my home in the walls where my sister was waiting. I never trusted her to go on her own. She was too young (I mean I was only 14 but still), and I didn’t trust this place at all. 

This area was secluded, what had looked like a nice, humble little cottage, was actually a death trap for borrowers like myself. The human that resides here had seemed kind. A bright smile on his face, friendly with any visitors and his family, but when he’s alone,  it just disappears. As if the kind presence never existed in the first place. There was also one other thing. This entire place gave off an ominous vibe that screamed, “Stay the hell away from here.” It was a mystery to me why I had even decided to settle down in this place. Because I wouldn’t have to worry about so many humans? Well this one was a lot to deal with too. 

After staying a couple nights here I had started to notice just how creepy the place was, and how odd this human’s schedule was. It almost always stayed silent here besides the tv rarely being played at night. But it was almost always quiet. Of course you’d think that would be good for me, but it wasn’t. Normally humans are busy doing something. This one? It’s like he’s waiting for something to happen. He walks quietly through the house, doesn’t talk to anyone unless someone stops by for a visit, only has the tv on when it’s raining. It’s almost like he knows that my sister and I live here, but that would be impossible. I’ve been nothing but quiet and careful this entire time. My sister included since I make her stay at home while I’m out. 

This human seemed to always go on daily walks around the small, secluded forest outside his home. He would come back nearly two hours later, take a short shower, make something to eat, and head into his room that I never dared to go into. I had no idea what I would find in there, but it’s probably not something I want to see. 

I hurried to the counter, grabbing my hook from the side of my hand-made belt and throwing it up as far as I could, barely managing to make it to the top before the paperclip latched onto the ledge. I tugged on it a coupe times before starting my trek up, trying to get out of the open as fast as I can. I hated almost everything about this place. Or maybe it was just me. Lizzie, my sister, claims that she does just fine and doesn’t find a reason to stay quiet, but she just didn’t understand. Humans would hurt her. I’ve seen it happen, and I don’t want her to be in trouble because I just let her do what she wanted. I knew we were small. I knew that we could probably speak louder than a whisper, but I just didn’t trust it. As much as I want- need help, I didn’t trust a single thing about this place. 

When I walked onto the vast expanse of marble, I looked around for literally any kind of food. Nothing. Absolutely nothing at all. I cursed under my breath, my head turning out of fear to see if the human had heard me, but I forgot that he wasn’t home. I let out a sigh of relief, continuing my journey to find food. We had some at home, but I had zero idea if it would last my sister and I until my next trip, or when the humans leaves something out again. Plus, I don’t think I can eat bread for dinner again. I’d prefer something healthy, but I can’t be too picky. 

I moved onto the little bowl that he usually kept snacks in plastic wrapping, seeing that there was a small package of peanut-butter crackers among other snacks I already knew I couldn’t get into without making a huge mess. To be honest, I wasn’t feeling it, but anything I can get I guess. 

With a little bit of perseverance, I tore open the package, grabbed a few pieces of the cracker and shoved them into my bag. It should be enough for now, I didn’t want to stay any longer than I needed to be. I tried my hardest to make it look like the package wasn’t ripped open and climbed my way out, rushing over to the edge of counter where my hook was waiting for me. 

I was a good borrower. At least I think I am. I’ve always been good at hiding, “borrowing” as we like to call it, I think I’m also pretty good at not leaving a trail that I even exist. It’s like planning a heist every time I go out. I have to know the fastest way in or out, where all my exits would be. At least in this forsaken house. I just get the creeps here. 

I picked my head up, staring straight at the door that was slowly creaking open. My heart pounded in my chest, fear creeping up and down my spine, breathing becoming ragged. He wasn’t supposed to be home yet. I rushed down the remaining distance, not caring at all about the rope burn I’ll have on my hands later. He won’t see me. It’ll all be okay… I held in a breath, not daring to hesitate sliding down the rope for even a second. I bit down on my bottom lip so hard to help ease the burning sensation on my hands as I rushed down to the ground. 

As soon as my feet were planted on the ground, I pulled on my hook, taking the time to messily wrap it up and run all the way back to the small crack in the wall. I ran as fast as I could, only looking back once to see hazel eyes staring deep into my soul.The breath I was holding in was caught in my throat, shoving my body through the crack and slamming my body onto the hard surface behind me once I was out of view. I tried to calm down my breathing, clasping my hand over my mouth as I felt the human walking closer. The small amount of light that the crack in the wall emitted had nearly vanished, the human most likely blocking it. Everything remained quiet, all noise becoming muffled to me. Were they saying something? I couldn’t hear. Please just go away. Be my imagination. This isn’t really happening. 

  The light came back, I felt footsteps walking away, but I didn’t trust it. I stayed hidden for another couple minutes, about to leave when the shadow came back, making me clasp my hands over my mouth once again. If they were talking, I couldn’t hear. Of course this “heist” doesn’t go as planned this one time. Why did he even come back early? Or did I just take too long? 

I had no clue how long I waited. The human was long gone, but I was too frozen in fear to move. There was no way I was going to risk getting caught. Who knows what this… sadistic human would do to me? Keep me in a jar, a pet, use me for his own entertainment? Kill me. I didn’t even want to think about that. Leaving my sister all alone. Better me than her though. I would hate myself if she was ever hurt because of one of my own mistakes. 

Gathering up the courage, I peaked my head out, shocked at what I saw. There were two bottle caps, one full of actual food, and one filled with water. My heart started to beat fast again, thoughts working. Was the human just waiting for me to fall victim to this very obvious trap? Was the food poisoned? Was he going to kill me if I step out? I jumped when a tall figure emerged from the hallway holding a book and sitting down on the couch. I ducked my head back, standing up on wobbly legs and gripping my the strap of my bag tightly. Time for me to go. 

I maneuvered through the walls, carrying what was like precious jewels to my sister and . What even was that? I-I know he saw me… so why didn’t he just grab me when he had obviously seen me long before I had even realized. Or did he want to capture me in an inhumane way. lure me out with food like I was some kind of… animal. Trap me in a jar or a cage afterwards. I couldn’t think of anything but what was could’ve been going through his sick mind. 

When I walked into out tiny home on the walls, a sigh of relief escaped my mouth. Lizzie was still here, playing with the stuffed animal our mom had given her years ago. I mean she just a six year old, there wasn’t really anything to keep her busy when you were just barely over two inches tall and was forced to keep below a whisper just so you’re not caught into huge… terrifying… human hands. My mind went back to what had just happened in the last thirty minutes, a shiver running down my spine. 

Lizzie stood up, hugging me with a bright smile on her face. I was still trembling slightly from the encounter I had, but hugged her back all the same, mindful of the burn marks on my hands. 

“Did you get anything good?” She cheered, hugging her teddy bear close to her chest. I nodded my head, laughing and pulling out a small piece of the peanut butter cracker and handing it to her. She gasped, taking the piece in her hands and biting into it. I could’ve brought back some actual food if I didn’t think it was poisoned. I sighed, burying my head in my heads as she went off to entertain herself once again. Would we have to find another place again? Probably. Humans aren’t supposed to know about us, and well, this one does now. Thanks to me.

I wouldn’t tell Lizzie yet though. She’d be devastated. She’s always telling me how much she loves this place. She likes how we can go outside sometimes, how the human living here is quiet and not loud like most humans were. I can see why she likes it here, but it was just too dangerous. We might be in danger. Like I’ve said, I didn’t trust this place at all. This guy living here… just doesn’t give off “nice” vibes. 

It was late at night, Lizzie and I were about to head to bed. I wasn’t that much older than her. I was just a kid who really new how to steal and survive. I guess I’d have to revoke that title since I’ve been caught. I tucked Lizzie in, and pulled the fabric over my head, falling asleep and pushing all of my worries for tomorrow. 

—————— 

I woke up to foot steps. I picked up my head, grabbing the needle that I probably should have been carrying with me yesterday and checking on Lizzie. My heart skipped a beat when I didn’t see her there. Which meant… My eyes darted to the entrance of our little place, seeing that the cloth blocking it was moved. Soon enough, I started running towards the little crack that lead to the kitchen. I heard quiet sobs that sounded like Lizzie. 

Please don’t be what I think it is. 

When I arrived, I was too afraid to take a little peak out of the side, afraid of what I might find on the other side. What could I do against someone who was twenty times my own size? He has my little sister… but what could I do? He’d just take us both. Probably torture us for his enjoyment. Just make us live in terror and agony until we die. What would happen if I didn’t do anything? I would never forgive myself he did anything to hurt Lizzie. So I just have to make sure she can get out of this. 

I sucked in a deep breath, slowly peaking out and seeing that her teddy bear was left on the ground, along with a little pool of water right next to the bottle cap the human had left. My eyes widened, breathing hitching in my throat as I saw the huge being pinching her effortlessly in between his thumb and pointer, whispering for her to calm down. Nononono. My breathing became fast, and my legs pushed myself out of the crack, pointing the needle right at the human, whose eyes darted cautiously over to me. 

“L-let her go!” My hands and arms were shaky as I looked away, my eyes shut and closed. I was terrified. Being out in the open in front of a human was the worst imaginable thing. It could only be worse for Lizzie for actually being held by one, but I was threatening one. I’d have a worst fate than her, but I just want her to be safe. 

I opened my eyes, a little blurry from the few tears that escaped, but it had seemed like everyone stopped moving, heck, even breathing all together. Lizzie tried her hardest to escape the grip around her, failing miserably and giving up. This time, she just quietly cried to herself, slightly reaching for her teddy bear on the ground. I bit the bottom of my lip, keeping my needle pointed towards the human and reaching down to grab her bear. 

The human’s eyes shot open wide, looking between my and my sister he was currently keeping hostage. But I swear his eyes softened before he carefully placed my sister down a little ways from me. She looked up at him, tears still in her eyes. The human bit the side of his cheek, looking away from Lizzie and back to me with sympathetic eyes. He had to be lying. There was no way he’d just “let her down” like that. 

Lizzie ran over to me, hugging me tightly and hiding behind. My entire body was shaky as I guided us slowly back towards the crack in the wall. 

“Sorry for trapping you.” He whispered, looking behind me. I paused, watching as my sister ran back to the crack in the walls. Now I was alone. No telling what would happen. But I was more hung onto the fact that this human just apologized. As much as I didn’t trust him at all, or thought that he was a mean person, he apologized. This was something I had least expected from this guy. Instead of taking us against or wills, he just apologized. Not to mention just let my sister go without so much as a complaint or deal. 

“You can take the food I put there.” He pointed to the bottle cap behind me, filled with fresh food. My mouth watered at the sight, but I shook my head, hands still shaky as I stayed in place while still pointing my needle towards him. The human paused for a second, looking confused. 

“Why not? Isn’t that what you were stealing from me earlier today?” His words sounded harsh through my ears, making me wince and take a couple steps back, ready to dart straight for the tiny hold in the wall if he had tried anything. It was intimidating I admit, and I had no idea why I didn’t just run back with Lizzie. So why don’t I just go? What was I waiting for? 

“That came out.. harsh, didn’t it.” The mountainous being in front of me sighed, ruffling my hair a bit. I don’t say anything, wondering why I haven’t been dangled or threatened yet. He always looked so… intimidating. Or maybe that’s just the way he looked? Honestly I can’t even tell. 

“How long have been stealing from me?” His eyes were full of sympathy again, hands away from me. Making no move. I guess it would be okay to answer. Just so I could lower the amount of torture I would endure if this was all a trap. 

“A m-month or two? Give o-or take?” I kept my arms up no matter how much they screamed for me to put them down. Lizzie was safe, I would be back in a little, and we could go out tomorrow to find another place to live in. Even if the next house or town is miles out, we just need to get the hell away from here. 

The human’s eyes widened again, quieting in the dark to get a better look at me, which only made me slightly insecure, but ignored it, “You don’t even look old enough to be taking care of yourselves,” He started, “Look, the least I can do for you after trapping your sister is to give you both something to eat. I’m pretty sure you’d like something better than peanut butter crackers.” I really would, but how could I know to trust him? He trapped my sister. I’m pretty sure it was meant for me, but still! 

“You trapped my sister! I can’t t-trust you!” I whisper yelled, hoping I wouldn’t be killed on the spot. His eyes hazel pierced through my soul, making me close my eyes shut and look away while raising my puny weapon. Soon enough, something pitched the needle and dragged me along with it. I let out a yelp, letting go and stumbling to my knees, my face hitting the hard floor. Nonono. Please don’t- I sat up and buried head in my knees and covered myself with my arms, expecting a sharp pain, a stab, anything to indicate that I was dead. Just like that, my only sense of protection was gone. I couldn’t defend myself with or without a weapon what was I even thinking? 

The human above me sighed, and soon enough I was pinched between two of his fingers just like my sister. I started kicking and trying to pull myself out, but to no avail. Tears formed in my eyes as I tried my hardest not to let them fall. The last thing I needed was for this human to take pleasure in my own suffering, but of course he noticed anyways.

“For someone who was just threatening me with a needle you overreact a lot.” The human chuckled, standing up and turning on a dim light, keeping me pinched. Could he feel how fast my heart was beating? Could he feel how my body trembled under the surprisingly soft grip? I just kept quiet, afraid anything I said now would just make my fate even more dreadful. 

The human moved fast, grabbing a few snacks and either breaking them up into miniature pieces or cutting them up with an extremely sharp knife I would not like to be on the other side of. I was shocked at what he was doing, but also scared. I mean, I was basically being held against my will right now. He placed the snacks into a small bowl, kind of like the snack tray my mom would make. My mouth watered, my stomach growling, and I guess the human heard it because he glanced at me for just a split second, a smile on his face. It was embarrassing, but also somewhat… nice of him to be making us this? 

“I use to steal just like you, pretty close to your age actually,” he chuckled, “I may only be 22, and you still don’t trust me, but I think it’s better if you just ask people for help little guy.” He walked back over to where the small hole in the wall was, placing down the bowl and myself. I tripped over my two legs, earning a small laugh from him. Now I just felt… terrible for ever thinking he was bad. It doesn’t mean I trust him fully yet, but maybe one day? This could also be some sick trick to enjoy my suffering later of course, but for now I’d like to believe that he was doing this because this was really who he was. 

“S-sorry. For the stealing.” I fidgeted with my hands, eyeing my needle still in his other hand. His hand carefully came towards me, offering it back. I took it from his fingers, hugging it close. My heart was still racing, and my thoughts were all jumbled up, but I still couldn’t believe that I was alive. Without a single scratch too. 

“You were only doing what you needed to survive. I get it,” He smiled, “But, just ask me if you need anything next time?” i gave an “i don’t know” look at him, but he just playfully rolled his eyes, “What’s your name anyways?” I bit the bottom of my lip

“Andrew…” My voice came out quiet, feeling a little insecure. 

“Gabriel, but you can just call me Gabe.” He smiled, and left just as quiet as ever. It took me a while to realize what had just happened, then my eyes trailed off to the vast amount of snacks waiting to be eaten. Best part about it? There was finally something healthy to eat that I didn’t think was poisoned. I turned back to the hold in the wall, hoping that Lizzie was okay. 

“Lizzie!” I whisper yelled, expecting her to be back home, under the sheets, but she came out of the hold, hugging her bear tight against her chest. I rushed over, hugging her before her eyes widened at the huge amount of snacks that awaited her. Sure, it was way past midnight, but it couldn’t hurt to have something nice to eat, right? Borrowers rarely ever get a chance like this anyways. 

“I told you he was nice!” She giggled, forgetting just how scared she looked minutes ago. We both giggled, and for the first time in what felt like forever we felt safe. Even if I still didn’t entirely trust Gabriel, there was a small possibility I could just as much as my sister does. Just maybe. 

——————

Yeah I have no idea about this one either (My brain cannot come up with good scenes anymore whyyyy… also I kind of gave up on editing halfway through so I’m very sorry for mistakes-)

Again, if you don’t like it, please tell me! But I hope you liked it! Writing based off of songs is pretty hard, but I might as well give it a try! If you would like a part 2 to this, please let me know! (Cause I kinda do… I might make it just for the fun of it)

Thank you for the prompt! I had fun writing it! :3

Writing commissions are still open for anyone interested! Please keep them strictly sfw! (If I’m uncomfortable with a certain commission I will let you know!)