#the only thing i’m happy about here is getting wednesday off. i was hoping to get wednesday off all along

[fingertipsmp3]

Tfw you get your work timetable and immediately yell “why have they DONE this to me”

[clairenatural]

Dean doesn't like the word "boyfriend." He decides this the second time Cas says it–the first time it was new, shiny, exciting. The second time, he fights the urge to cringe.

It's not the "boy" part. It's not. It would have been, for a long time, but he's dug all that shit up and unpacked all the suitcases. They hold hands in public. They kiss goodbye in front of his coworkers at the garage.

It's just–not enough. Not nearly. Jack comes home from hanging out with his friends and fills Dean on the gossip and his boyfriend and her girlfriend and–that's not them. "Boyfriend" feels like a cheap mockery. Like how demons used to tease.

He's heard "partner." He's heard it from Sam, to Eileen, but he doesn't know how he can stomach it. He's said that word too many times. I'm Agent Tyler and this is my partner, Agent Perry. This is my partner, Agent Page. My partner, Agent Stills. All lies. Sam says he likes it, that he's making it mean something real. Besides, Eileen loves it.

Good for them, Dean thinks. It makes his skin crawl.

So he sticks with “boyfriend” and he shrugs off the funny urge to protest every time Cas says it. It makes him happy, and honestly, it’s not like he has an alternative.

It’s a Sunday when he realizes that somehow, Cas does. They’re at the farmer’s market, like Cas is every weekend, but Dean had picked up weekend shifts and missed the past few. Cas is excited the whole way there, telling Dean about how he’d manage to befriend the local honey vendor in his absence, how she’d invited him to a beginner’s apiarist group she helps run. They beeline (heh) to the honey booth as soon as they get there, and the woman--Judith? Janice?--smiles up at them both, hands Cas a jar of honey like she’d been expecting him, and says “Oh, this must be the husband! I’ve heard so much about you.”

Dean stares at Cas. Cas stares at the honey. Judith/Janice stares at both of them, smile fading as the silence goes on a beat too long. 

Dean clears his throat. “Uh, yeah. The husband, that’s me! Ha ha.” Beside him, Cas relaxes, just barely. In front of him, the woman breathes an audible sigh of relief. “Sorry,” Dean shifts. “Just didn’t, um. Realize I was such a hot topic.” 

The smile he gets is almost sympathetic. “Oh, only good things. Here,” she hands him a business card. “You should also come out to our meeting on Wednesday. Lots of people bring their partners.” She leans in, almost conspiratorial. “Beekeeping can be wonderful for couples.”

It’s at this point that Cas clears his throat and finally looks up from the honey in his hand, evidently giving up hope on escaping this conversation. “Thank you, Janet.” (oh. Janet.) “Dean works late on Wednesdays, but I’m very excited to see you all.” He’s pulling out money as he says this, apparently deciding to just go ahead and end the entire interaction. He hands her the bills, grabs Dean’s hand, and is already moving away from the booth by the time Janet calls “See you Wednesday!” after them.

Cas drags him all the way back to the car without stopping for tomatoes, or Sam's carrots, or the free-range eggs that are way too expensive but Cas buys anyway because you can taste when the hen is well cared-for, Dean (whatever that means). They slide into the car, still not talking, and sit in silence for several long seconds. Dean stares at Cas, who stares out the windshield at the parking lot.

"I can explain," Cas speaks, finally, right as Dean was about to open his mouth and say anything to break the silence.

Dean pauses. Can you? Cause I feel like I missed a few chapters, he thinks.

"I don't work late on Wednesdays," he says instead.

"Oh." Now it's Cas staring at Dean, and Dean staring out at the asphalt.

He turns the keys. He drives them home.

Later, making dinner, Dean rolls the word around in his head. Husband. He's making his husband pasta (It's missing the tomatoes. He's made more with less).

Husband doesn't feel like a costume, like an ill-fitting suit and scratchy tie. It doesn't feel like high school gossip, or a monster trying to hit him where it hurts. It settles in warm in his chest.

It's just the two of them that night, and they're eating in the comfortable silence of the bunker until Dean clears his throat and brings it up. "Why does Janet at the farmer's market think we're married?"

Cas pauses, fork of pasta halfway to his mouth. He puts the fork down and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not mad," Dean hurries to clarify. "It's just that there's usually, uh. Steps, you know. Like a whole....thing."

"I'm aware." Cas sighs. "She assumed, seeing us around - the first time I spoke to her without you, she asked where my husband was. And I..."

"You didn't correct her?"

"...No. I, um." Cas is looking down at his plate again. He picks up the fork, still half-full of pasta, then puts it back down again. "I didn't want to?" He says the end of the sentence like a question but looks back up at Dean and squints just a bit, and Dean knows he's watching for a reaction.

"Uh huh."

"It felt trivial."

"To tell her we're not married?"

"To call you my boyfriend." For the first time, he stumbles over the word.

Dean blinks. "You--" he stops, brain processing too much information to finish that sentence. "Okay." He leans back in his chair. Sighs. Rubs a hand across his eyes and lets it drag down his face. "Okay, listen. I don't like boyfriend either, but we gotta...talk about it."

"We are talking about it. You don't like it either?" Cas leans forward as Dean slumps back, following him across the table.

Dean snorts. "No, man." He shakes his head. "It's been a decade. I've seen you die." Six times. But who's counting.

"I agree." Cas pauses, and then, as if it's the most natural conclusion in the world, "Will you marry me?"

Dean actually laughs at this. "You're asking me that now?"

Cas quirks an eyebrow at him. "I've grown quite fond of calling you my husband at the farmer's market. I'd like to continue."

Dean stares at him in disbelief. It's not how he'd pictured it going, but he also can't think of it going any other way. Slowly, he nods. "Yeah, okay. Let's be husbands."

Across the table, Cas grins at him.

"But we're getting rings," Dean points a finger at him, because something about this is going to be normal.

"If you'd like. Although I already told Janet that you can't wear a ring because of your work at the garage, and I don't wear mine in solidarity."

"Rings," Dean insists, and decides to overlook the rest of that sentence. For now. He stabs his fork into a pile of the pasta. "And let me stop for the damn tomatoes next time."

They get rings and wear them on chains around their necks. Cas puts a beehive on the hill, and there's a small ceremony in the summer - a "vow renewal" to Cas' beekeeping group, who all receive invites attached to little jars of honey. Janet gets the nicest one.

[uniquesoulwinner]

My Queen

Leah Williamson x reader 

Idea that came to me after seeing Leah get her OBE today of a little surprise celebration with her girl who she didn’t think was even in the country! 

Hope you enjoy its not very good and the format isn’t working right so it might read funny but well it’s something 

Let me know what you think 

***********************

Y/n pov

Getting off the plane in London brings nothing but butterflies to your stomach at the thought of the day ahead. You see given that I’ve been in New York for work for the past 9 long weeks I was not meant to be here today well at least that’s what Leah thinks, I however always knew I would be here! 

As soon as we got the date for Leah to get her long awaited OBE medal I was on the phone to Amanda to plan exactly what was going to happen today, this has lead to a lot of sneaky phone calls between me and my girlfriends mother, who I’m nearly sure is more excited about me being there to surprise Leah than I am.

Finding out that I was going to have to be in New York for 16 weeks for work was never part of the plan, being away from Leah for that long was a thought that made my whole body hurt before I even went, which is why I I have worked my ass off over the last 9 weeks so complete everything I needed to do to get home to my girlfriend of 4 years early which brings me back to walking though Heathrow Airport at 7:45am on a Wednesday morning counting down the minutes until I have her in my arms again. 

Just as I was getting into the taxi to take me to the hotel I had booked for myself and Leah for that night my phone rang and my smile got even bigger seeing it was Amanda!

Y/n: Hey perfect timing I’m just in the taxi

Amanda: ahh perfect I’m so excited, she’s getting ready already! I swear she takes forever.

Y/n: Worth every minute though; you find yourself say thing that out loud without ever realising until you hear Amanda aww on the other end of the phone which made you blush no end! Anyway how are we looking for timeline I’m just heading to the hotel now to get showered and ready! 

Amanda: so we should be wrapped up in Windsor by around 13:30pm at the latest and then she thinks we are just going for dinner and meeting holly and all that couldn’t come to the ceremony there. You can hear the excited little giggle coming from Amanda like she is on a secret spy mission which makes you laugh  

Y/n: ok good and she definitely doesn’t suspect a thing right you ask already knowing that she doesn’t considering you spent 2 hours in the phone to her last night with her upset and missing you as well as telling you how much she wished you where going to be there today which yes broke your heart in two , the only thing that you hoped was seeing her face today would make up for everything!

Amanda: nope not a thing, she is completely oblivious you hear that cheeky giggle again she is going to be so happy y/n, she has missed you so much you you 

Y/n: yeh I know I’ve missed her too more than words but not long now, god I’m nervous you laugh at the Ridiculousness of getting nervous over seeing the woman that has been the centre of your world for 4 years now 

Amanda: oh sweetie you no need to be nervous, the second that girl sees you everything will be worth it, you know … Amanda suddenly stops talking only thing you can hear is some rustling and foot steps which your hoping isn’t Leah catching you both out 

Ok I gotta go she is wandering around now looking for her socks so I better help I’ll see you later ok text me when your there , ok bye bye bye and the phones goes dead leaving you laughing at the thought of your girl running around looking for socks which you know she will be treating like a Military mission in that room ! 

************************

Later on that day after checking in to the hotel and getting yourself ready , wearing a tight green dress that you knew drive Leah crazy with your hair down and curled and black heals, you where standing that the bar of the restaurant that had been booked out for today with holly catching up on every bit of gossip you had missed being away which was lot it seemed! 

Although after the 7th time checking the door you did catch holly giving you a very knowing smirk which made you laugh purely because you didn’t care how obvious you where being, ever since Amanda text to say they where 20 minutes away you could help but look out for them ! You wanted your girl and weren’t even sorry about it ! 

The restaurant was full of Leah’s close family and friends most of which were now laughing at the twitter comments over Leah being the queen of England now ! Lol 

You only snapped out of staring at the door when you heard Jen Leah’s teammate call you 

Jen: y/n how does it feel to have bagged England’s new queen  all you heard was laughter which then turned to cooing and awe’s when you replied saying y/n: she has always been my queen 

And right as you said that you seen her your queen walk past the window towards the door looking out of this world and every bit worthily of the title queen in your opinion but it was to time and time for you to hide in the crowd who had all turned to face the door waiting for her to come in, to which when she did come in she was meant by just noise of chatting and clapping but all you could hear was her laugh that beautiful laugh while she made her way around people still not spotting you ! 

Amanda however snuck around to hug you whispering how she couldn’t wait to see Leah’s face ! 

After around 5 minutes of her still not spotting you , you had enough of waiting so grabbed a glass of champagne and made your way up behind her as she spoke to Alex Scott and Kim little both of who started smiling the second they seen you approach! 

Y/n: would the new queen like a drink you said standing behind her and while you couldn’t see her face you could see her body freeze as she heard your voice which made your heart burst. Y/n you heard her whisper still not turning around which made you giggle given that all you wanted right now was to kiss her still though you stepped forward so you where right behind her meaning you could whisper in her ear hello baby, any chance I could get a hug now?  You didn’t even have a split second to react when her arms where around your neck with such force that if ever the sensible kimmy hadn’t if grabbed the champagne out if your hands it would have been all down the back of Leah’s very expensive looking suit ! 

Suddenly all the people in the room weren’t there anymore the only thing that you noticed was your girl finally in your arms after way to long and while pulling her impossibly closer to you , you just breathed her in every part of you and missed every part of her and now here you could never imagine being away from her again which made what you were about to do even more clear in your head, so while holding her as close as possible with one arm your eyes met Leah’s grandmas giving her a nod and hold out your hand , you watched as the whole room tried to contain themselves as she placed the black velvet box in your hand giving your hand a small squeeze as she did !

Focusing back on Leah who’s head was still buried in your neck, pulling back slightly so you could see her with a massive smile on your face that was thankfully matched by her, finally gave you the chance to look into those eyes that have had you weak for years. It’s only when you see her eyes flick down to your lips that you pull her in making sure she can’t feel the box behind her back, although all sense leaves your body the second her lips meet yours for the first time in over 2 months. Finally it feels like I’m home you think, kissing her is home , she is home and with that thought you remember what you have hidden behind her back so with one final kiss you pull back to be met with a pout from her. 

Leah: your here, your actually here 

Y/n: I’m here baby I would never miss this looking at the smile on her face makes all the sneaking around worth it 

Leah: please tell me I have you for more than one night baby before you go back the pout comes back to her face again as she speaks Giggling at her you step back completely! Here goes nothing you think as you look into her eyes again how about forever you whisper never breaking eye contact, seeing the confusion on her have made you smile as you looked down at the box in your hands which was now between you and Leah, flicking your eyes back up seeing that hers where now fixed on the box in your hands as well it was go time so slowly you lower down onto one knee and open the box , hearing the gasp come from her  gave you the confirmation that the band you had chosen was the right choice! 

Y/n : le there is nothing I could say right now that would be any different to anything I have told you every day for the past 4 years but what I will say is how proud I am to be yours baby, every day with you is the best day of my life letting out a shaky breath as you see the tears in her eyes before you carry on and I want that for the rest of our lives, so Leah Williamson OBE you give her a cheeky smirk as the room fills with laughter , will you do me the honour of marrying me? Holding your breath for the whole 0.2 of a second it takes before you hear her say yes yes a million times yes , smiling with the tears running down both your faces you pull the ring from the box and finally put it on her finger as she pulls you up into a bruising kiss. 

You hear the cheers in the room, the clapping and banging on tables but all you feel is her , your finance , your Leah , your home! It’s just you two in the bubble of whispered words between the two of you consisting of i love yous, don’t ever leave again and I can’t wait to make you my wife , everything in that moment is just perfect! 

**************************

Hours later after food , champagne, a lot of laughter and more love than you could imagine, you are standing back beside your finance at the side of the room arms wrapped around each other just watching your friends and family around you. Turning to Leah you decide to take the teasing that’s been going on between the two of you for over an hour now to the next level,

Y/n: I booked us into a hotel for the next 2 nights so I hope you have no plans for tomorrow you say while looking her up and down because I have no plans on leaving that hotel room tomorrow. Watching as her eyes darken on front of you you step a little closer to her so you can whisper in her ear and just so you know earlier wasn’t the only time I plan on dropping to my knees for you my queen 

And with that Leah walked away and started saying goodbye to everyone you giggling behind her especially with the knowing looks you got from some people in the room but to hell with it you hadn’t had your girl in 9 weeks so you where going to make the most of every minute if that night and every night for the rest of your life with your queen ! 

[jimblejamblewritings]

the fake date plot | part 7.

Summary: Gryffindors, seventh years, classmates, unrequited love. Just a few things Y/N and James Potter had in common. When a brilliantly dumb plan is hatched the two end up getting something a little different than what they wanted.

Warnings for the Series: oh, this is a slowburn now. Or at least that's the plan.

Pairing: James Potter x reader

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: yeah I know I've been gone for a year... I have no words, my bad

Previous Part | (Series Chapter List)

You walked into James’ dorm on Wednesday afternoon, seeing only the other three marauders. They gave you cautious hellos as they watched you rifle through your boyfriend’s drawer. You lifted your head, looking at one of the other drawers. Maybe it was in the other one. James stepped out of the bathroom as you started digging through the second to last drawer in his writing desk. The steam from his shower rolled out into the dorm and made the room both hot and humid. 

“What are you looking for, bug?” 

“The bag of candy I gave you, I left my money pouch in it… I think, I hope so.” 

James, white towel still slung around his waist, moved to the top drawer of his writing desk. “I saw it last night but it was really late and then I got distracted with homework and practice. Here.” 

“Thank you…” you trailed off as you noticed a bead of water roll down James’ neck and continue down his body. 

“Distracted, love?” 

You looked up to see a stupid grin plastered on James’ face. The two of you had agreed that while everything was fake, shameless flirting was in fact allowed. A way for you to practice your skills. And clearly James was enjoying your reaction to the fullest. He wiggled his eyebrows making you roll your eyes. 

“Whatever, Potter.” 

“We’re on a last name basis now?” 

“Yes.” 

“Oh you wound me so, my darling.” He grabbed at his heart and pretended to stumble back. 

“You act like I’m in love with you.” 

“Y/N, you’re dating me.” 

You put your hand on his abs to shove him but James grabbed your hand, keeping it on his body. Sirius, Remus, and Peter exchanged looks. Remus, especially, was ready to set down his book and leave the room if you two needed some space. You let your hand linger for a moment longer before pushing off of James and taking your money pouch. Instead of leaving, you made yourself comfortable on his bed. 

“Dating you, James Potter, doesn’t mean I like you.” 

James leaned partially on his bed, mouth inches away from yours. “Bug, I don’t think you can date me if you don’t like me.” 

“Ah, ah.” You put your finger to his lip. “No kisses until you aren’t naked.” 

The laugh that came from James was light — a sound that his friends had never heard before. He got off of the bed to go find clothes like you asked, complaining the entire time that wearing a towel meant he wasn’t naked. The other marauders crept slowly to Remus’ bed. Sirius was so sure that you and James weren’t dating. He didn’t know why you two would lie about that but he was sure it was a lie. Now, he didn’t know. You might have still been a new friend to them but he was James’ brother. However, standing right in front of him, James looked so happy and genuine. 

Sirius watched as James put on only sweatpants before practically jumping on the bed and smothering you in kisses while you complained the entire time that not wearing a shirt or boxers still meant he was somewhat naked. Eventually James calmed down, thinking that going on for too long would look suspicious. 

You decided to stay for the night, getting up to go take a shower. James leaned over his bed to look for a spare shirt in his trunk, not wanting to get out of bed completely. He chuckled as you started your scream singing. For someone who could actually sing, he wasn’t sure why you chose to scream the songs when taking a shower. He closed his eyes for a moment of relaxation when one of the boys called his name. He looked back down to see it was Wormtail. The other three marauders beckoned him over. James wasn’t sure what they wanted but he had a feeling that he needed to turn his acting on. 

Remus was the first to breach the topic. “Y/N is a major part of our group now, we just want to make sure that you’re both okay.” 

“Why wouldn’t we be okay?” 

“I mean if you two break up th—” 

“We aren’t breaking up.” 

Peter sighed. “Mate, even if you like Y/N, you were in love with Lily for like seven years. I know it can’t be easy to just get over her. We don’t want Y/N or you to get hurt.” 

“I get it. But I would never hurt her. We’re together and I am committed to that.” 

“And your feelings for Lily?” 

“What do you want me to say to you guys? Yes, I still have some lingering feelings for Lily, of course. Y/N knows that and it’s going to take some time for them to go away but I really like her okay. My feelings for Lily get smaller by the week.” 

James had to stop the corners of his mouth from curling upwards. He had overheard them in the corridors when they thought he wasn’t around. Lily had tried to be casual when asking about the two of you. The rest of your friends had been trying to put all their situations with the two of you together and figure out if it was serious or not. James knew the boys were just snooping something to report back to Lily. 

“I know that Y/N and I aren’t serious yet b—” 

“You aren’t serious?” Remus asked. 

“I mean she still has feelings for Xenophilius, I’m not the only one having to get over someone. So we aren’t serious, but we are exclusive. I wouldn’t even think of snogging let alone sleeping with another girl if we’re exclusive. And we’ve decided that we will be currently.” 

“Currently?” 

“It might be easier to get serious if we are exclusive but no labels. We still need to sort our feelings out and maybe we’ll go on dates with other people to figure it out but that’s too much for either of us right now. And I’m not ready at all so, yeah, we’re exclusive currently.”  

“But not serious?” 

“Moony, are you deaf?” 

“Well,” Sirius interrupted. “Speaking of snogging. Have you? We’ve seen you kiss but have you snogged her.” 

“No.” 

The marauders left him alone after that, having gathered all the information needed. You came back out and flopped on James’ bed once more. He got up to cuddle with you. If anything happened afterwards, you didn’t know because you had fallen asleep. You were kind of excited for tomorrow. It was supposed to be a surprise but James told you that he had a date planned for you during your free time right after breakfast. Fake dates were still nice.

While you were having the sleep of your life, James’ brain was causing him to toss and turn. Lily actually seemed interested. He couldn’t believe it. This was the closest he’s ever been before. Maybe his plan wasn’t so dumb after all. You’d get Xeno, he’d get Lily and you both would be very happy. 

Morning rolled around. You tried to wiggle yourself out of James’ death grip, complaining quietly so you wouldn’t wake him. You could almost laugh as he whispered Lily’s name before remembering where you were. If any of the other boys heard him then there could be issues.

Although, you heard them last night. You sighed. Maybe you were only worried because if James got Lily too soon then you wouldn’t get Xeno. But you didn’t want to stop him from the love of his life, already understanding the feeling too well. They needed another plan. But at the moment, you needed to pee and get dressed in the last clean uniform you have before laundry needs to be done.  

To your surprise, the girls were up when you reached your shared dorm. You smiled sheepishly as you went to grab a washcloth from your wardrobe drawer so you could wash your face. Knowing they’d probably hound you if they were awake this early, you left the bathroom door open after using the toilet. It was nice to know they worried about you but also awkward at times. 

The girls looked at your outfit as they tried to figure out where the hell you came from. You had no shoes on, just slippers so you had to have stayed in the castle. But you were wearing sweatpants so you could have slept anywhere and been comfortable. Dorcas was the first to notice. 

“Is that James’?” she pointed to the cream colored thermal shirt you were wearing. 

You nodded with the toothbrush still in your mouth. The girls looked at each other. Honestly, they expected you to be at Alice’s dorm like you sometimes were. Lily, Marlene, and Mary decided to let Dorcas continue the line of questioning. 

“So you slept over at his dorm?” 

“Yeah,” you said before washing the rest of the soap suds off of your face and standing up straight again. “I thought I lost my money pouch but then I remembered I bought James candy at Honeydukes and was hoping I left it in the bag. Thank God I did. I just ended up crashing there because I got too lazy to move.” 

“You two are pretty serious it seems.” 

Hook. Line. And sinker. Part of you wanted to deviate from the plan because you just weren’t sure where you and Xeno stood but you couldn’t do that to James. Not when you had become good friends. So you snorted instead. 

“Not really. We’re just exclusive,” you repeated the thing you overheard James say to the boys. “I think it’s important to be when we’re trying to figure each other out.” 

“What’s there to figure out? You two like each other, don’t you?” Marlene asked. 

“Feelings are weird.” You finished changing and grabbed your bag. “Look, James are I are just talking. I know we’ve had some moments but it’s not like either one of us meant to be naked around each other. I was drunk once and then Sirius barged in a—” 

“Wait, James wasn’t in the shower already?” Mary interrupted. 

“Uh, no.” 

“So that was a lie?” 

“Do you know how embarrassing it is to admit that we hid from Sirius and he turned into a deer.” 

The girls started laughing so hard their sides were hurting. That sounded more like the James Potter they knew and something about the entire scenario seemed more endearing than the first story you told them. Lily stopped laughing and started smiling. One, because listening to the real story made James seem like a derpy sweetheart and two because you said you weren’t serious. Exclusive was in fact very different from serious. Everyone knew that. You all turned at the knock on the door and Lily’s smile faded a bit when James stepped in after being told he could enter. You put on your best surprised face. 

“Hi.” 

“Hey, bug, you left your money pouch again.” 

“I did?” 

“You need to enchant this thing… Hey, you’re free after breakfast right?” 

“Yes I am.” 

“Brilliant. Can I take you out on a date?” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, we haven’t done that yet and we probably should.” 

You chuckled. “We probably should.” 

“Yeah,” he repeated himself. “Yeah, dates are good. Especially having a real date before your birthday. I can’t believe you have a Halloween birthday by the way. I’ve never met someone with that birthday before.” 

“James Potter, are you nervous?” 

“Nervous? No. It’s just a first date. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“I’m assuming you don’t want me to answer that.” 

“Please don’t.” 

You grabbed a purse before walking up to James and holding his hand. “Let’s go. No matter what happens, promise we’ll have fun.” 

“That I can do.” 

You and James sat on the top level of Three Broomsticks in the very back corner of the place. He opted to get the two of you food at the cafe portion instead of asking for a waiter so no one could interrupt you or worse overhear something they shouldn’t have. 

A sigh left your mouth. “Lily likes you and I don’t think we should drag that out before she loses interest again.” 

“But what about you and Xeno?” 

“What about us? He’s lost interest because I don’t have any experience so there’s no point in anything. Let’s just get you your girl and let me wallow in peace.” 

James set down your hot chocolate and looked you in the eye. “Do you really like Xeno? Like how I love Lily?” 

“Yes,” you answered from the depths of your heart. 

“Then we aren’t giving up. We’ll make him interested again. We need to be a whirlwind of passion and fiery breakup but nothing that can’t be mended either because I actually like being friends with you.” 

You and James finished eating breakfast and decided to stroll around Hogsmeade for the remainder of your free time. The two of you needed a plan with set dates and no deviations. You just wanted to be done with everything in no more than a week but James insisted on three months. In the end, you both compromised and decided on two months. Just until the end of the year and then you’d quit whether you got the guy or not. 

“But what are we going to do?” you asked. 

“Maybe we don’t work out… No, that’s not interesting enough.” 

You stopped walking, making James stop as well. “The jumper curse!” 

“What?” 

“The jumper curse, it’s a perfect way to break up. You, James Potter, will make me a jumper and later I will break up with you. In front of everybody.” 

“But why a jumper? What curse?” 

“You’re so daft sometimes.” 

“Hey!” 

“It’s true.” 

“Less insulting and more telling me about this curse.” 

“It’s an old wives tale but it happens enough that people don’t really question its truth if it does happen. It’s when one person makes the other a jumper and pretty soon after they break up.” 

“Why though?” 

“A host of reasons. The person that got the sweater thinks it’s too intimate too quick into the relationship so they end it, or the person doesn’t appreciate the maker enough, or the maker spends too much time with the jumper and not enough with the receiver. There’s probably way more I’m forgetting.” 

“Hmmm, not a bad idea at all, bug. Let’s do it.” 

The two of you made a plan to reconvene before the end of the day when there was time and to finalize details of the elaborate skit.

(part 8)...

THIS TAGLIST:

@starsval @helloitsmeeeeeee @callsigndiamond @isabela30 @rachelccollier @ghostkingblake @b3t0xic @ttulipwritezz @caelum-the-part-time-nihilist @superduckmilkshake @sendnuwudes @prongsprincessworld @slightlynotslightlyobsessing @wildernessflora @siriuslycaptainofthedawntreader @mommymilkerfanclub @amandachrystinallc @lupinsbookshelf @harrysgoldenwatermelon @loving-and-dreaming @that-simp-sin @bubybubsters @peachesgaeass @jellyfishlioncrab @cenkisabibl

PERMANENT TAGLIST:

@venomsvl @peaches-n-sunscreen @summerellaz @supernaturallover2002 @sambucky8 @9daykrisr @thebitchinleo @23victoria @scarlets-widow @pagetpagetpagetpaget @lovexnatasha @awesomebooklover17 @1234-angelika @imatrisk @blackreaderatrisk @princess-jules47 @alexloveskili @a-marie-a @siriuslysirius1107​ @i-have-no-life-charlie

[daengtokki]

𝒮𝑒𝒸𝑜𝓃𝒹 𝒟𝒶𝓉𝑒

Kim Seungmin/Female Reader

wc: 7.1k

rating: Mature, NON-explicit (part 2)

→ PART ONE

Part 2 of 4

The sun is coming through the trees and leaving freckles of light over Seungmin’s face and chest. His eyes are closed, hands propping him up as he leans back and stares up at the sky.

You’ve been meaning to ask the question bouncing around in your head for several minutes, but you can’t stop staring at him like this. You reach out and gently shake his foot until he looks at you.

“Hey, sorry…I didn’t mean to get quiet.”

- Seungmin is tired.

Car rides are his worst enemy if he’s trying to stay awake, especially if he ends up in the backseat. His head keeps swaying side to side. The ride is far too smooth, and he feels like a baby being lulled to sleep.

The car turns left, then right, then right again. He doesn’t need to feel it come to a stop to know he’s home.

As happy as he is to finally be done with traveling—for now, he doesn’t think he has the energy to get himself back on two feet.

He hits his neatly made bed immediately. No unpacking, no snack, no checking text messages. There is zero time between thinking about sleep and passing out; there is only a deep dreamless sleep.

____

It’s dark and warm in his room when he wakes up. His eyes stay closed tight, but he can feel how late it is. He knows he’s been sleeping far too long. Nobody bothered waking him for dinner or checking up on him, because that would have been useless. He doesn’t even mind that he missed the Giants game.

He feels much better now, until he looks down at his phone to check the time. The first problem is it’s already past midnight. The second problem is he has 43 notifications to open.

Seungmin scans over them to see if he missed anything important. Most of them look deletable, but a few he duly notes, and definitely needs to answer in the morning.

He opens the text from Choonhee, though.

Are you here for the long weekend?

He doesn’t mind texting her this late. He sends back a quick response without much thought: “I’m here until Wednesday!

Time to shower and eat.

Seungmin stands in the shower for a good fifteen minutes—clearing his mind, easing the tension he always holds in his shoulders— before finally, somewhere in the back of his memory, the part where he puts things and never ever remembers them…he remembers something.

“Oh…” he cups his face in his hands and scrubs at his cheeks, “shit.”

He takes his time getting out. An extra half an hour accidentally ignoring you isn’t going to make much of a difference now. Hair gets dried; fresh clothes thrown on. He clicks the fan in his bedroom so it pushes the warm air around. The cool night air is at least trying to find it’s way in.

Now he notices how hungry he is. Might as well find something in the kitchen before getting into a conversation. One that goes well, hopefully.

A bowl of oi-muchim, a beer, and his phone in hand, Seungmin makes himself comfortable on the couch. He pulls up Choonhee’s text messages again and hopes she still awake…

“Is it too late to text her? Do you think she’s up?”

He sends it off and tries not to watch his phone for her reply. He clicks the tv on and eats, but before his second bite, his phone goes off.

She won’t mind if it’s you

Seungmin hopes Choonhee’s right. And hopes you’ll still actually want to speak after two months of accidental silence.

Now he puts his food down, drinks some of his beer, and thinks…”what am I supposed to say at one in the morning?” He mumbles it to himself. But he starts typing anyway, letting his thumbs and his heart do the work. If he thinks too much, nothing will ever come out.

“Hey, I’m sorry I’m texting you so late. And also sorry for not getting back to you sooner. I hope you can forgive me. I’m in town for a few days if you’re interested in seeing each other.”

He reads it and rereads it. Then sends it away. It’s the best he can do.

The rest of the night is nothing but a long wait. The nap he took served perfectly as a good nights sleep, so the next few hours are spent catching up on baseball highlights, finishing a drama, and then silently obsessing over whether or not he’ll get a text back while a new show plays out in front of him .

At 7:30, Seungmin’s phone buzzes in his hand. He’s sound asleep, but still holding onto it. It wakes him right away, but it takes a moment before he can remember where he is, and what he’s doing there. Too much sleep makes his head fuzzy, and yesterday and this morning must have been a combined eleven hours.

He looks at the notification and remembers. Only the name on the screen registers in his mind before he unlocks his phone and sits up. He shakes the sleep from his head and rubs his eyes before reading…

I would love to see you

A sigh of relief. You’re not mad. Seungmin’s heartbeat picks up in his chest as he types.

“Tonight? Or today. Any time is good.”

This reply takes a little longer. He gets up to change just in case he has to run out the door to meet you. Your reply comes a few minutes later. Seungmin reads it as he’s jumping into his shorts.

I’m free all day. Do you want to come over for breakfast?

“Come over for breakfast? Are you going to make me breakfast?” he thinks out loud. He’s hoping that’s what you mean.

“I’ll be there in an hour”

____

Your internal alarm hates you. At precisely 7:25, you’re awake. Even on the weekends, you can’t sleep in. It takes a couple of minutes before you can even think about moving, but the warmth in the room and the sun peeking in eventually forces you up. You can only take so much.

Your phone, charging on the nightstand, buzzes softly. Probably an email. It buzzes again. You thought you put it on sleep mode last night, but maybe not. It’s a miracle nothing woke you up. You grab it and unplug it…

Email Spam email Work email you never opened or cleared Instagram

Text from Seungmin

“Seungmin,” you say his name out loud in case you’re still a little bit asleep. Seungmin, who you haven’t had a text from in months; who has probably been very busy and very tired when he isn’t busy, sent you a text at one in the morning.

You open it quickly, butterflies in your stomach, and read. You read it a few times. His texts are always a little longer, never one or two words. And you always read him in his voice. You’ve listened to him singing and speaking enough now that you hear it in your sleep. You don’t have to think much about your reply.

“I would love to see you���

____

There’s little time to pick up the apartment and figure out what you’re going to make for him. You do your best with what little time you have. Shower, hair, makeup…outfit. You probably should have given yourself a little more time. Too late now, he’ll be on his way soon.

It’s been nearly seven months since your blind date, but it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long. The time between his last text and today somehow felt longer. You feel like it’s going to be a first impression all over again, so you really want to give him your best. Maybe even better than last time, now that you know what you’re getting into.

In the kitchen, you start pulling things out to make, and you’re relieved to find you have something to cook for him.

You hope he likes American breakfast. You do know he likes coffee. Just a few days ago a care package came from your parents; coffee, snacks…things you miss from home. You pull out the bag of beans and start grinding.

Minutes later, or at least it feels like minutes, (the full hour, plus 20 extra minutes, has passed) you hear you phone buzz. Before you can get to it, the intercom buzzes. You grab your phone and run to the door.

“Hi I’m here”

You smile at his message and let him into the lobby before texting back, “543.” You’re surprised and a little flattered that he remembered where your building was and was confident enough to come without even confirming.

He sends a smiling emoji in reply.

Your back is against the door, eyes closed. Your picturing him walking to the elevator, pushing the button, waiting…

The elevator here is pretty slow…

He gets on and hits the 5th floor button. It comes straight up without stopping, considering the early hour. Everyone else in this building is definitely sleeping in. He turns right and walks, maybe a little hesitantly, toward your apartment, looks at the number on the door, then at your text.

He knocks gently. Three soft little knocks. You take in a deep breath; you’re more nervous than you thought you’d be. The deadbolt clicks.

When you crack the door he’s smiling down at you. You pull it open the rest of the way and stand there awkwardly for a moment. You feel like one of your eight-year-olds trying to find the right words in English. You stupidly breath out a wow and desperately hope he didn’t hear it

He stands there with one hand in the pocket of his shorts. The other hand is holding a paper bag. He swings it a little as he takes a careful step over your threshold.

“Morning.” You finally manage to say.

“Good morning,” he closes the door behind him, and his smile grows as he moves closer to you.

His face looks a little different. It’s been long enough that you’re thinking his braces have changed his smile, or maybe he’s just gotten older. The spring sun has turned his skin a few shades darker compared to October. His hair is dark and straight across his forehead; different then the last time you saw him. You’ve also gotten used to seeing him only in videos and photos. None of that does him justice. In front of you, he’s better—and you forgot how much better.

“Are you okay?” Seungmin reaches his hand toward you as if he’s going to touch your cheek, but he stops just short of you, and his hand falls slowly.

“Yeah, yeah…sorry,” you set your hand on your face where his hand should have been. “I uhhm,” you still can’t seem to find the right words. So much for a new first impression. Now what?

You put your other hand around his waist and pull yourself to him. You’re relieved when he reciprocates the embrace. He holds onto you for a while, not letting up on his grip.

“I’m sorry I didn’t keep in touch.”

Even though you had plenty of old texts to return to; to re-convince yourself that Seungmin liked you and wanted to see you again, you still needed this physical reassurance. The last two months were a lot more lonely than you care to admit, and part of you was starting to let go.

“It’s okay, I know you’re busy.”

“Still a bad excuse.” He loosens his hold on you, but doesn’t let go completely. The bag he’s holding shakes a little in his hand. “I brought this for you.”

“Another gift? You’re making me look bad.” You slide away from his grip (very reluctantly) and head toward the kitchen.

“Well, you did make me coffee. It smells good.”

Seungmin follows closely behind. The kitchen is a little bit of a mess, but cooking and cleaning at the same time is not one of your strong suits. You grab a few things and toss them in the trash, the sink, the dishwasher. You don’t even realize he’s right behind you until you turn again to grab two clean glasses.

“I can bring you your coffee. It’s a mess in here, you don’t need to see this.”

“Oh I don’t mind. You are definitely a messy cook, though. You should clean as you go!”

“Believe me, I try.” You pour the cooled coffee into a glass over ice. “I hope you like this…have you ever had Kona coffee?”

Seungmin shakes his head and smiles. You briefly wonder if he realizes how cute it is, then you pour some for yourself, “I’m sure you’ll like it.” He takes it from you and follows as you lead him out of the kitchen and into the living room.

You sit. He sits, and sips his coffee, then adjusts so he’s a little closer to you.

“How long have you been in town?” You bring your knees up to your chest and turn your body to him.

“I got in yesterday afternoon, but I fell asleep and woke up very late.”

“Oh, that explains the late text.”

“Yes, hopefully it didn’t wake you. Choonhee told me you wouldn’t mind if I texted you so late.”

“It didn’t wake me up. It was a nice surprise this morning.”

He’s bouncing his legs up and down; knees are moving together, then apart, then together again. A nervous tick, maybe. All you do know is that the movement of his thighs is distracting. You tear your eyes away, and when you do, he’s looking at you.

“How have you been?” He asks, and he’s not just making conversation. The way he speaks is sincere. “Anymore blind dates?” He whispers the last part.

“Oh, no…no,” you stare into your coffee and shake your head. “Nothing special, not since our date.”

He smiles, but says nothing.

“I did keep up with you. I caught a few of your lives, checked YouTube for new videos…”

Seungmin laughs and lays his head back against the couch, “next time we don’t see each other for a while, I will call, and we can have a real live.”

“Is that a promise?”

He thinks for a moment, “yes, promise. I’ll be a better texter…also.” He adjusts and moves himself a little closer to you.

“I’ll take either.”

“I think I just…don’t know what to say sometimes. I don’t want to say something stupid, so I don’t say anything at all. And then I forget.”

“I don’t mind if you say something stupid.” You reach out and move a piece of hair out of Seungmin’s eyes. “I’d prefer it, actually. Then I can say something stupid back.”

He tilts his head and his hair falls back over his eyes. “Good to know.”

“Are you hungry?” You move his hair again.

He looks at you without answering for a very long moment. His eyes are impossibly big and dark; bottom lip a little bit red from biting down on it. Your eyes jump from the beauty mark on his cheek (you’re also thinking about how nice it is to finally see him again without makeup), to his eyes, his nose, his lips. His hair swings back down in front of his eyes.

He brings his hand up and attempts to fix his hair, but he just shakes his head again and smiles, “yes, I am. Very hungry.”

“I guess you can help me finish up,” you reach for his hand, which he happily takes, and lead him back to the kitchen. You prepped everything, but wanted it to be fresh when you sat down to eat.

“What are we having?” He looks at the counter. Four thick slices of bread and a bowl of something milky, eggs. “Oh these I can do,” Seungmin picks up an egg and holds it next to his face. “I can fry a good egg.”

“Okay, that’s your job.” You freshen his coffee while he examines the half dozen eggs in front of him. “Make however many you want.”

“Can I make all of them?”

“Yeah,” you laugh, “I have more if that’s not enough.”

“French toast?” He examines the milky batter next to the slices of bread. “I’ve had it before, but not for a very long time.”

“Is that okay? I can always make something else.” You turn the burner on low and let the pan get warm.

“No, I want to try your french toast.”

You reach for the butter, taking great care to reach around him by placing your hand on the belt of his shorts. He watches you closely as you dip each slice of bread into the batter, and when the butter melts completely, place them neatly in the pan.

“Nice sizzle,” he whispers. And then he laughs when you laugh. “Oh, I’m doing the eggs…” He turns his burner on low, butters his pan, and cracks four of the six eggs.

Seungmin looks at you, “I don’t want to crowd them.” He nods his head at two intact eggs. “They can wait.”

“You’re the expert.”

“They will be good, I promise.”

“Even if they’re bad, I’m sure I’ll love them.”

You hear him laugh as you tend to the French toast, shaking on the cinnamon, flipping them when they’re just crispy and brown. Seungmin ooohs at them as he seasons his eggs.

“Do you prefer maple syrup or…honey?”

“Hm?” He flips the eggs carefully and takes them off the heat before turning to the selection of toppings you’re setting out.

“Can you turn my burner off?”

He clicks it off, and Seungmin finds his way to the cupboard to get a plate. He gently sets his finished eggs onto it and cracks the remaining ones into the warm pan.

“Do you like maple syrup, or do you want honey?”

“Oh…maple syrup! And strawberries.”

“And whipped cream?”

“Dessert for breakfast…” he takes one of the strawberries and bites into it.

____

You have one dining table in your tiny apartment. It has two chairs, and it’s right next to the large picture window that sits just between the kitchen and the living room. Outside is a limited view of the city. It’s nice, though. And you can afford it.

Seungmin is watching the city slowly start to move, chin resting in the palm of his hand. He has a smile on his face–it’s very subtle on his lips, but not in his eyes. You made him sit while you got the rest of the food ready, and eventually, he listened.

“Is this enough strawberries?”

He looks at you first and smiles, then at his plate. “Yes, thank you,” he waits for you to sit before whispering jal meokgetseumnida and when you pick up your fork, he follows. Seungmin opted for maple syrup, strawberries, whipped cream. He goes for the whipped cream first, eating a forkful by itself.

“Did you make this, too?” He takes another bite of it, this time with a big piece of strawberry.

You nod.

“It’s very good, it’s not too sweet.” He cuts into his French toast now, getting a bite of all three at once.

“If everything is too sweet, it ruins it.”

“Sometimes…” he says in a singsong voice, almost a whisper.

You sneak glances at him between your own bites. He’s a quiet eater this morning, but you’re comfortable sitting there with him in the silence.

“How has work been?”

“Kind of crazy.” He takes a drink of his coffee, “we will be in Japan in two weeks, and then to the US after that.” Seungmin nods to himself and divides the four eggs between you.

They do look perfect and exactly how you usually make them. Over-easy. “That’s exciting…but I’m sure it’s very exhausting.”

He picks one up and shoves the entire thing in his mouth. You can tell he wants to speak as soon as he does it, but he chews patiently. “I wouldn’t want to do anything else, but some days it is a lot. And very tiring.”

He rests his face in his hands again. He finished his food. Now he’s looking at you with the same tired eyes he’s given you before. 

“Thank you for making time for me.” You say.

He sits back in his seat, smiles, shakes his head a little.

You look at him questioningly. His mannerism are cute, but you’re not quite sure how to interpret them sometimes. “What is it?”

“I’m happy to be here.”

“You are?” When you stand to clean off the table, he stands with you to help. You let him.

“Yes,” he bites into another strawberry when he gets to kitchen sink with his dishes. “I like you. You're...you're relaxing to be around. I don't feel any pressure here."

You look at him and smile, unsure of how to respond at first. "Thank you." It's not enough of a reply, you know that, but you're a little lost for words.

"Is that a weird thing to say?"

"No! Not at all. It might be the sweetest complement a date has ever given me."

Seungmin follows you wordlessly to the living room, and sits when you sit. You move a little closer to him and relax, hoping he continues to mimic you. And he does.

“Can I ask you something…um,” he purses his lips as he thinks, covers his cheeks with his hands. “Something personal I guess. Kind of. Maybe not really personal but-”

“Yes, of course you can.” You take one of his hands away from his face and hold it in yours. It’s starting to feel like the first date, except now he seems a little different than last time. Maybe he’s worn out from performing. Maybe it’s just an off day.

He’s looking down at his hand clasped in yours, “do you ever feel like, um…I guess it’s hard to put into English.”

“That’s okay, we can use whatever words feel best for you.”

Seungmin can’t help but smile at that, and a tiny laugh escapes. “I almost forgot, you teach kids. You do sound like a teacher.”

“Oh, I’m sorry! I mean…whichever language.” You pull his hand closer to you and put your other hand over it. “I’m sure between us we can figure it out.”

“You’re so sweet.”

“What’s bothering you?” You squeeze his hands even harder.

“I don’t know if you will, but if you ever meet my friends…the other members.” He stops for a moment to look at you.

You nod at him, but at the same time you’re completely unprepared for that statement. Meeting his friends? It's a big jump from where you're at right now.

“I guess I’m worried you might like them more than you like me.” His head falls back on the couch and he covers his eyes with his free hand. He sighs loudly.

“Why would you think that?” You pull him closer and shake him a little, “Seungmin…Seungmin, what do they call you when they don’t call you Seungmin?”

You get him to laugh, at least.

“Minnie,” he looks at you through his fingers. He says it again under his breath. “Min…puppy.”

“Puppy?” you scoot even closer to him, until you can almost set your chin on his shoulder. "Puppy."

He closes the gap a little.

Your forehead is almost touching his. You hold his eyes there. Then you kiss the bridge of his nose.

He leans forward and sets his head in the space between your neck and shoulder. His hair is tickling your ear, and his lips are brushing against your skin. You’re certain he can hear your blood pumping through your veins.

He lets out a long sigh. You don’t really want to say anything, you’d prefer it if the two of you could just stay like this for a little bit longer. And suddenly thinking of him leaving again (for another six months, maybe) gives you a horrible sinking feeling in your stomach.

But you need to talk to him.

“Why do you think that?”

He’s quiet for a few seconds as he searches for the right words. “There are eight of us…and sometimes I end up feeling, uhm…”

There's a long pause while you both think. He's searching for the words; you're searching his mind and his face.

”Do you feel like you're stuck behind everyone sometimes?” You think that’s what he’s getting at. You can see it in his eyes.

”Yes, I guess so. I mean, I know I am not as popular.”

It’s a hard comment for you to respond to, but the sad smile on his face makes you a little angry. Not at him, just at every single person outside of your apartment. 

“Well, you’re my favorite.”

A hesitant smile appears.

Your hands close around either side of his face, and you graze your fingertips over his ears, “I’m sure the others are great, and I’m sure I could be friends with them someday...but they’re not you, and I already told you we wouldn’t make very good friends.”

You’re not sure why him being vulnerable and honest is suddenly, making you so bold, but you’re not going to question it. He’s quiet and calm as you speak, so you must be doing something right.

“I wouldn’t want anyone else here with me.” You hope he believes you, but you also aren’t a stranger to the hesitant feelings he’s obviously processing. “And I wish you could stay.”

“I can stay today!”

____

Seungmin falls asleep on your couch again. This time, though, he’s lying comfortably with his face shoved into one of your pillows and his curled up legs are almost on your lap. It’s a small couch.

You put a movie on, but he didn’t last more than a half an hour. It’s been two hours now, and you really don’t want to wake him. You’re certain he’ll get up on his own soon.

The kitchen is clean, the movie is over. You’re a little tired yourself, honestly, but you don’t think you could fall asleep while he’s here and almost in your lap. He’s a quiet sleeper, and he’s hardly moved, but you can hear his big sighs every few times he exhales.

He shifts a little when your hand touches his leg, but he settles back down immediately, and is out again. Even when your palm slides over his skin, he doesn’t move.

The soft buzz of his phone doesn’t wake him, either. But it’s going off again, and it’s the third time. You’re wondering if it’s important, but you don’t want to pry.

You run your hand over his leg again. Still nothing. It goes off again—this time it’s ringing. You can see the name on the screen without looking very hard.

“Seungmin…” You whisper. This time you gently drag your fingertips across his skin. “Seungmin?”

A little groan. His leg stretches out across your thigh. You squeeze his calf a bit and he seems to react, but not enough, so you gently move him and get up.

“Seungmin?” You kneel down until you’re face to face with him. He looks so peaceful and content, and while you hate to disturb him, you’re kind of looking forward to him slowly waking up. Saying his name isn’t getting through, though, so you place the tip of your finger at his temple and lightly trace a line down the side of his face.

A raspy mmm is all you get in return.

You bury your fingers in his hair and comb through it, kneading into his scalp a little. “Minnie?” You move down toward his neck, knead a little more, this time into a soft part of his shoulder.

His eyes open slowly, eyelashes fluttering a bit as they readjust to the sunlight in the room. He looks around before his gaze settles on you, and for the briefest moment he seems lost. But then he remembers where he is, and he smiles at you.

“Hi,” his voice is sleepy and raspy, like he hasn’t used it in a long time. He closes his eyes again.

“No no, eyes open.”

“I’m awake,” he mumbles.

“Look at me,” you lean toward his face until your noses are almost touching.

Eyes open again and he blinks a few times. “Are you gonna kiss me?” He asks, and the sleepiness in his voice is unbearable.

Yes, if he wants you to, you will kiss him. You lick your lips. But first, “your mom is calling you.”

“Oh, she’s probably wondering why she hasn’t seen me since I got home.”

“Do you want me to call and tell her you’re busy?”

Seungmin laughs and finally seems to be fully awake. He shakes his head and slowly sits himself up. “Do I have bedhead?” He rubs his eyes and runs his hands through his hair.

“A little bit.” You comb a hand through it and fix his part, “it’s cute, though.”

“Nooo it’s not,” he flattens it more and lays back against the couch. “I’m sorry I fell asleep.”

“You apologize too much.”

“Do I?”

You nod and sit down next to him, “I’m glad you were comfortable enough here to fall asleep.”

“Did I snore?” He looks a little embarrassed.

“No, you were pretty quiet. You kicked a few times, though.”

He almost apologizes, but stops himself and picks up his phone. He reads through his messages and eventually types a reply to one of them. Then he turns to you, “what should we do now that I’m well rested? Are you tired?” He throws his phone down and turns the rest of his body to you, “did you sleep at all?”

“I didn’t sleep, but I’m fine.”

“Maybe you should rest,” he smiles and tilts his head. “I can leave for a while and come back, if you’d like.”

“No, I don’t want you to leave.”

He nods, “We can try another movie,” Seungmin relaxes on the couch, pillow at his side, and extends an arm. “And if you fall asleep, we’ll be even.”

You stare at him for a long moment. It’s not until he beckons you with his hand that you realize it’s an invitation to cuddle up to him. And you take it without another moment of hesitation.

Your cheek settles against his chest, open hand spread out over his stomach. He wraps an arm around your shoulder and pulls you in a little tighter.

“Are you comfortable?” He grazes his fingertips over your forearm, very slowly, as if he’s still testing the limit of touch between you.

“I am.” You feel the goosebumps jump up on your skin, and Seungmin runs his fingers over you again, like he notices.

He does notice. You hear a breathy little laugh come from him. “Good.”

Now you think you could definitely fall asleep. He’s warm, but a good warm; not like the summer heat moving around the room. You push your face further into the space under his arm and inhale.

“What should we try to watch? Maybe something funny.”

He browses through Netflix. Meanwhile, you can feel yourself slowly slipping into sleep. But you don’t want to fall asleep. Sleeping now would just be wasted time with Seungmin, so you adjust yourself and sit up a little more.

He sits up, too. His eyes are big and a little worried.

“I don’t want to fall asleep.”

“Okay, how can we keep you awake then?”

You stare at him thoughtlessly for a few seconds. Then you feel like maybe you’re blushing because he probably (probably?) isn’t thinking the same thing your sexually frustrated mind is thinking. Now you can’t get the thought out of your head. You try not to breath out like you’ve just been holding your breath for too long.

He grins a little, so you think the thought may have crossed his mind after he said it. But he stays quiet.

“Maybe we can…go for a walk,” you say it as you exhale and then take a steady breath in. At the same time, your brain is slowly unbuckling his belt and lifting his shirt. “We should go for a walk.”

“Okay, that sounds nice.”

____

It’s warm out, but not enough to be uncomfortable.

You changed into something to show a little more skin, because you might as well try to get his mind where yours is. He may not even be interested in going there.

“So, are you allowed to date yet?” It comes out before you even decide if it’s a good thing to bring up.

Seungmin giggles. You look at him and see him covering his mouth with his hand, but the smile in his eyes is obvious.

“Sorry, that came out of nowhere…”

“It’s alright. You can ask me anything you want,” he shoves his hands in his pockets and slows his walk a bit.

“Okay, I’ll just throw questions at you as I think of them.”

“Good,” he stops and bounces on the balls of his feet, “ we should get some boba.”

You were already concerned about Seungmin being recognized on your walk, and going into a boba place seems like the most obvious way for him to be seen. But you’re not going to tell him no.

“Maybe I should go in and get us both something, it seems a little busy in there.”

“If that makes you feel better, yes.”

“It doesn’t. I just don’t want you to get any unwanted attention.”

“I think I’ll be okay,” He brushes his hand against your arm and leads you across the street. “I’m not as popular or recognizable as you might think.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“If nobody expects to see me, they’ll miss me,” he hops up on the curb like a kid. It feels like he becomes more and more relaxed as the day goes on. “But…” he pulls a black face mask from his back pocket and loops it around his ears. “I’ll be much happier if you’re more comfortable.”

____

The sun is coming through the trees and leaving freckles of light over Seungmin’s face and chest. His eyes are closed, hands propping him up as he leans back and stares up at the sky.

You’ve been meaning to ask the question bouncing around in your head for several minutes, but you can’t stop staring at him like this. You reach out and gently shake his foot until he looks at you.

“Hey, sorry…I didn’t mean to get quiet.”

“I have a question.”

He sits up fully and smiles, “oh I never answered you before. No dating. Openly. Technically.” He says it like he’s not sure if he’s using his English words correctly. “Maybe that wasn’t the question.”

“It wasn’t, but I did want to know that, too.” You sip your drink and think about your question again. You had it ready to go, but Seungmin said the word openly and you lost it. “Do you know that I’m older than you?”

“No, I didn’t know. But I don’t mind.” He gets on his hands and knees and crawls closer to you. “If you don’t mind that I’m younger.”

A breeze picks up and his hair is swept across his forehead. He tousles it a little until his bangs fall back in front of his eyes.

You shake your head. “No, I don’t,” the question starts forming in your head again. “Would you ever consider dating, uhm, me? I mean, let’s say you weren’t who you are and we still somehow met. Is that something you’d…consider?

Seungmin looks at you, and his eyes have certainly never been this big before. His ears and cheeks are slowly turning red. And he’s quiet. His mouth opens a bit, but no words come out. You’re afraid you asked the stupidest question you could have possibly thought of.

You made it weird.

“You don’t have to answer. I’m sorry. Please pretend I never said that.” You lift your knees to your chest and bury your face in the space there. You whimper a little to yourself and hope he doesn’t hear it.

“That’s a tough one.”

You can’t see his face, but you can imagine it.

In reality, he’s thinking and playing with his straw. Still blushing, still smiling. If you’d just lift your head and look at him, you’d see that he’s unable to contain his smirk.

“Let’s go back to you looking up at the sky and me not talking.” You relax as much as possible and your back gently hits the grass. You spread yourself out, hoping to sink into the ground.

“No,” he sips his drink and leans back on one hand. “You asked, now it’s out there forever.”

You peek up at him briefly and see his face in the sun again; eyes closed but smirk still tugging at his lips. Quiet and thoughtful.

“Seungmin?”

No answer. You look back at the sky, but you can hear him moving and getting closer. His shadow blocks the sun from your eyes, so you open them.

“Yeah?”

“It’s okay if you wouldn’t.”

Still no answer. Your eyes close again, and then he lays down next to you. It’s a nice moment, or it would be. The birds are singing and there’s the sound of the wind through the trees. The only other people around are far enough away that you can barely hear them.

You feel like you could cry.

Maybe he just isn’t very good at letting people down. He can’t find the right words to tell you it would never work, and that’s understandable, really. He’s sweet and thoughtful and kind. He doesn’t want to hurt you. He just wants to be friends.

You cover you eyes with both hands and sigh as quietly as possible.

“I would, but…I don’t know…” he hmmms and uumms a few times. “Nobody has ever asked me out before.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“You don’t believe much.”

"If that's true, it's because you're intimidating."

"Me?" He's trying not to laugh. "I'm not intimidating! Am I? Is it my face? Do I look angry?"

"Okay, wrong word to use. You're too handsome to approach, I mean. I would have never, on my own, started a conversation with you had I seen you at that coffee shop by yourself."

Now you sit up and shade him from the sun. There’s a stray eyelash on his cheek, so you lean forward to gently blow it off.

His eyes flutter open. "I am not too handsome to approach." He whispers and lets himself laugh out loud.

“Okay fine…so I’m your first.”

“So you’re not taking it back?”

“You mentioned meeting your friends earlier. Did I interpret that wrong?”

He shakes his head.

“Then no, I guess I’m not taking it back.”

----

The trip back is not awkward. You expected him to keep his distance, physically and mentally, but he walks almost shoulder to shoulder with you the entire time. He hasn’t given you any type of answer yet, but you’re not worried about it. Part of you still wants to take it back and let things flow at a slower pace. This is, after all, only your second date. The other part of you is already on fire. It’s a tough line to walk.

Inside the apartment it’s gotten much warmer, and you regret not starting the AC before leaving. It’ll take forever to cool down now. You close the windows, lower the shades, and pull the curtains closed. Then you head to the couch and collapse onto it.

Seungmin makes himself at home by heading to the bathroom, then finding himself (and you) something cold to drink. You’re too distracted to even care that he’s digging around in your messy fridge.

“I forgot about this,” he grabs the bag from the side table and dangles it in front of his face. “Your gift.”

You sit up against the arm rest and smile at him, “thank you, Seungmin.” Inside is a small yellow dog plush. “Oh, it’s you!” You squeeze him and adjust the hoodie he’s wearing before bringing him up to your face. “Was he yours?”

“Yeah, he was mine.”

“He smells like you.”

“Is that a good thing?” He sits down by your folded legs and sets a hand just above your knee.

He’s touchy today...almost as much as you. And for never being properly asked out (now you wonder what else he hasn’t experienced), he knows just what to do to make you squirm.

You sit up a little more, bumping his hand off of you by mistake. He pulls it back a little, so you reach out and take it in yours. “Yeah, it is.”

He squeezes your hand and pulls you closer so he can place a kiss on your lips. You kiss back, but your brain takes a second to catch up with your mouth. When it finally does, you kiss hard enough to force him back against the couch.

Seungmin is better in action than he is with words today.

He doesn’t struggle against you or ease up, but pushes on with just as much enthusiasm.

You don’t know what to do with your hands, though. You have a lot of options. Through the hair? No. Neck? Maybe, but you don’t want to be too rough at this angle, and he might not be into that. Face? It’s a good option, and his cheeks are soft and nice to touch. And it's not too much.

Before you can decide, he takes your other hand and pulls until you have no choice but to swing a leg over his lap. And then his hands are on either side of your thighs.

You pull back and look at him.

He stares back, catching his breath. “I’m sorry I’m so bad at answering your questions.”

“You don’t have to.” You let your hands wander over his chest and down his sides. He squirms just a little; probably ticklish. When your hands settle on his belt, you lean in to kiss him again. On his lips, over his cheek. “I shouldn’t have put that on you.”

“I’m glad you did,” he looks down at your hands. “It was nice to be thought of like that. It felt good.”

“If I can see you again, that’s enough for me.”

“Is it?”

It really isn’t, but you decided on the walk back that anything with Seungmin would be okay. “If it’s what you can give me, yeah.”

Your needy, clingy heart feels like it’s crumbling, but you do your best to keep it from showing on your face.

“I can’t promise much, but I can try.”

You kiss him again, and without thinking it through properly; without thinking at all, really, you slide your fingers down and over the zipper of his shorts and feel the significant bulge that you somehow didn’t notice before.

Seungmin’s tiny oh and his hand wrapping around the offending wrist makes your stomach sink. His eyes are wide and fixed on you.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” you gently push yourself away from him and sit against the opposite side of the couch, hands covering your red face. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking…”

“It’s okay,” he giggles and adjusts himself, and you watch from behind one hand as he runs a palm between his thighs. “Please don’t be upset, you didn’t do anything wrong.” His voice softens as he speaks, and the last part is a barely audible whisper, “it was my fault.” But the grin on his face only sharpens. He’s looking down at his hands as they nervously fidget with the hem of his shorts.

“Was that uh, a first, too?” You regret asking it as soon as it leaves your mouth.

He doesn’t answer right away. You’re worried he feels embarrassed about it. And you feel weird for bringing it up. The urge to get closer to him is kept under control for now.

“It’s no big deal, Minnie…if it was.”

Using his nickname breaks him from his trance, and he looks at you, blinks, nods. “Yeah, it was.”

“Did you want that? I mean, when you pulled me on top of you.” Now you scoot a little closer. “You can give me boundaries.”

“I got caught up in the moment.” He starts, thinking and picking his words carefully. “But I did want to kiss you like that.”

“Got it,” closer still, until your knee is brushing against his thigh. “You can always stop me if I go overboard. Sometimes I can be too much.”

“Is that bad? Too much is sometimes nice.”

“I guess it depends…”

You lean forward until your forehead can lay on his shoulder. His cheek rests on your head. You stay that way until you feel yourself relaxing and drifting into a half-sleep.

“I think it’s time to rest.” You don’t move, but Seungmin lifts his head.

“That’s a good idea,” He grabs the pillow to his right and puts it on your side of the couch. “Do you want me to stay?”

You lay back on the couch and sigh. “Yeah, I do. If you want to.”

“I do…move over.”

[unfortunate17]

omg happy birthday!!!!! Hope you had the most fabulous day! 💙💙💙💙 and now I’m wishing Simon had sung dancing queen for Wille…

THANK YOU ANON!!!!! I know you said you wished Simon sang Dancing Queen to Wille, but here’s a cute little something about Simon’s 17th birthday just for you 🫶. Thank you for the little burst of inspiration.

———

Simon turns seventeen on a slow Wednesday morning, the sun already high and bright, light spilling in through the cracks of the curtains. Summer turns the air in his room hot and thick like a furnace, and the way Wilhelm is curled around his back certainly does nothing to help.

Groaning, Simon shoves the too-warm arm off of his waist and shifts forward, closer to the blessedly cool wall. The motion seems to jostle Wille from his sleep, and Simon senses him moving behind him, shifting onto his back and kicking the covers.

“What time is it?”

Blindly, he shoves a hand under his pillow for his phone. A quick glance at the screen confirms his suspicions. “Too early,” he mumbles into the sheets, “go back to sleep.”

Wille kicks at the covers again, this time with an increased sense of frustration. “Why’s it so fucking hot?”

“That’s your fault,” Simon kicks him in the shin, “you’re like a fucking furnace.”

Wilhelm scoffs in reply, turning over once again. His mumbled words, however, get lost in the sound of the rustling covers as Simon tries and fails to get comfortable. Just as he thinks he’s succeeded, Wilhelm moves yet again, his lanky frame jostling the too-small bed and Simon snaps. “Can you stop moving?”

In reply, Wilhelm slides up behind him once more, wrapping a tight arm around his waist and pressing a palm into the skin over his heart. His chest is a warm line of burning heat against Simon’s back, sweat immediately beginning to gather in the crevices between their body.

Simon struggles, but this time, Wilhelm refuses to let him go, effectively trapping him between his body and the wall. He stamps a smile into the skin of Simon’s shoulder, “You’re seventeen,” he murmurs, voice muddled with sleep, “Happy Birthday, Simon.”

Simon tries and fails to achieve his freedom. “Thanks,” he huffs.

“I have a lot of presents for you.”

He gives up then, slumping back into Wilhelm’s sweaty hold. He closes his eyes. “Yeah?”

Wille nods into his neck. “Yeah.”

“Is one of them letting me sleep in?”

“Of course not. I’m supposed to sing to you first thing in the morning, remember?”

“Oh fuck,” Simon groans, “please don’t, Wille. You sound like a humpback whale.”

Wille punches his hips forward, something unmistakably hard pressing into the swell of Simon’s ass. “What’d you just say about humping?”

Simon bursts into laughter, squirming as a plethora of fond kisses are pressed into his cheek. “I love you,” he grins, nuzzling back into Wille’s face, “so fucking much.”

Wilhelm smacks a last loud kiss to the jut of his jaw before he begins, his voice both off-key and off-beat, shaky with laughter, “You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen. Dancing queen - ” His words drown out under the force of their shared laughter.

“What the fuck does this have to do with my birthday?” Simon manages to get out between bursts of laughter.

“You said I had to sing! Stop making fun of my singing!”

Simon turns to face him, takes in the warm brown of Wilhelm’s eyes, the sweet fondness that lines his handsome face. In his chest, his heart threatens to take flight. “Having the time of your life,” he sings, voice barely above a whisper, as he leans in close.

Wille smiles into the kiss, squeezing him tight, tight, tight, “Digging the dancing queen.”

[you-remind-me-of-the-babe]

Happy Wednesday! I’m on spring break and blissfully alone at a cafe writing for a few hours this morning. The weather is just starting to turn nice (though its supposed to rain tomorrow) but I can feel spring coming properly, which makes me happy. I hope y’all are getting some nicer weather soon, too.

I’m plugging away on my new WIP. I previously mentioned I’m tentatively titling it Back and Back and Back. I also quite like Start at the End, though I’m not sure if that description will end up strictly accurate, so might not work. We shall see.

I’m going to go ahead and share the premise now (or rather, the inspiration) because why not? I was reading through @carryonprompts and found this one and quite liked the idea. I started daydreaming about it in earnest right away. This was the first thing I wrote:

Past

BAZ age 6, 2003

When I get home from school, Vera always makes me a snack. After that, I’m supposed to do my homework before I’m allowed to go outside and play. There’s always pages and pages of it, and it’s horrid, because it’s so easy, it makes me want to rip it to pieces, or hide it under my bed. And if I have to read one more book about Dick and Jane, I think I might scream. (I’ve read every one of the books in my Beatrix Potter collections. Doesn’t my teacher know that if I can read words like presently, I shouldn’t need to read these baby primers?)

Even though I could do this stuff in my sleep, it’s going to have to wait because today he is here.

Or at least, I think he is. I only saw a flash of red out beyond the trees, but that’s as good a sign as any. I don’t want to make him wait, because I don’t know how long he’ll have to visit today, so I have to plan my escape quite quickly.

I don’t imagine this holding too closely to the book/movie. I’m taking inspiration from parts I liked (and can remember 15 years later lol) but shaping this to be a Watford-era, canon divergent fic with some time traveling/soul mate/destiny elements. It feels very ambitious for me to try writing time travel because it hurts my brain to even consume time travel media sometimes 🤣 and I am much more of a pantser than a planner when I write. Then again, the prospect of pulling off this sort of challenge intrigues me. Wish me luck!

Tags/hello/hope you are well 😘

@fatalfangirl @whatevertheweather @thewholelemon @cutestkilla @moodandmist @mooncello @aristocratic-otter @artsyunderstudy @bookish-bogwitch @facewithoutheart @valeffelees @shrekgogurt @iamamythologicalcreature @youarenevertooold @brilla-brilla-estrellita @forabeatofadrum @j-nipper-95 @larkral @leithillustration @messofthejess @captain-aralias @nightimedreamersworld @wellbelesbian @run-for-chamo-miles @roomwithanopenfire @raenestee @rimeswithpurple @theimpossibledemon @theearlgreymage @whogaveyoupermission @monbons @noblecorgi @emeryhall @ivelovedhimthroughworse @ileadacharmedlife @that-disabled-princess @blackberrysummerblog @prettygoododds @ic3-que3n @hushed-chorus @orange-peony @alexalexinii @angelsfalling16 @arthurkko @letraspal @supercutedinosaurs

[whatsa-bi-as]

first time

GN!reader x Haku Shota (Soul)

song; first time - Hozier

plot; a young couple talks about whether it would be worth trying again to make a relationship work

genre; angst

warning; none - let me know if I've missed any

word count; 1.4K

networks; @kflixnet and @k-labels

proofread; by the wonderful @gyumibear go check them out they've been a lot of help!!

a/n; I'm thinking of doing some stuff inspired by songs and this was kind of a test run :)

masterlist is here

“Do you think that this could have worked? You and me?”

It was a risky question, but one you hadn’t been able to get out of your head for weeks. It was eating you up inside, and if you didn’t ask it now, you probably never would. The silence that followed filled the air around the both of you and it was deafening.

“I don’t know. I mean, we tried. We tried twice, and Keeho always says 'third times the charm'. So maybe we would, maybe we wouldn’t.”

This was your ex-boyfriend, but your first love. This was the boy you had loved with all your heart, the boy you had watched grow into who he is now, the boy you had always supported with everything you could give.

“One of my mates tells me about this philosophical idea she read about. She thinks it’s just to make people have hope that things could have turned out differently. It’s the idea that there are different versions of people in different universes. ”

He smiled, but he didn’t say anything. He just let you keep talking and listened to you, like he always had, whether you were together or not.

“Which means that in one universe there's a version of us that never met, in another you were always my best friend but nothing more, and in some far off universe it worked out the first time. We never had to wonder if it would work because we… we knew we’d be together forever.”

“So we’re in the one where we tried, but it never happened.”

“Pretty much, yeah. That sucks, doesn’t it. Out of all the universes to be in, we got this one.”

He took a second to think about it. The idea of alternate universes was a lot to take in, especially when it was randomly presented to you late on a Wednesday night.

“What do you think we’re like in that last universe, the one where we never broke up? Do you think we call each other every night and put our beds together in Minecraft?”

You couldn’t quite tell if he was joking or not, but that was typical of him, always trying to make you laugh, even in the middle of a semi-serious conversation. Once he told you that he did that because he thought your smile was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, and deep down you still hoped that was the case.

“I like to imagine that we’re planning our future. I’m stressed about university applications and you're telling me to relax, that I’ll be fine. We’re also bickering over what colour the rug should be in the living room because you think it's the perfect shade, but I am convinced that it’s too dark for the colour palette we chose.”

“If we would bicker over anything, it would be over what mugs we have on the side and which ones go in the cupboard. You want the ones we use everyday to be on display and I think that glass ones would go better with the decor."

You could picture that argument, and try as hard as you might that one did make you laugh.

“That's the only right answer! It’s not only practical, but a house isn’t a home unless you add some personality to it, and what better way to do that than with mugs!”

“I guess one thing that doesn’t change between that universe and this one is that I know you better than you know yourself.”

The wind was not the only thing that sent a shiver down your spine. It was the fact that he was right, this boy could read you like a book, you didn’t have to say anything for him to know that you were upset, or happy, or stressed, just anything. He always knew exactly what to say or do, and although you used to love that about him, now it just leaves a bittersweet taste in your mouth.

“It's way too cold for us to be out this late.” He stood up and held out a hand to help you up. “Let’s get you home.”

“Do we have to go just yet?”

This night felt perfect. It was like a bubble had formed over the two of you, blocking out any fear and anxiety, but you knew that the moment you walked through your front door, you’d have to deal with all of it.

“You hate the cold. I’m honestly surprised you’ve lasted this long without complaining.”

You just looked up at him silently pleading for him to say no. For him to sit next to you again.

“We can walk slowly, but it’s late, it’s dark and it’s cold, so I’m walking you home whether you like it or not. And I’m not taking no for an answer, so..."

This was a situation you’ve been in before. He's not going to give in. You wouldn’t either if it was the other way around, so you take a deep breath and take his hand. The feeling sends a sense of nostalgia and hope deep into your soul. There's something about holding his hand that just feels right, like it was made to fit in yours.

The walk starts off in silence, the previous conversation soaking in like winter rain into a jumper. It was comfortable but as you got closer to your house and the seconds began to tick away, there was so much that you had to say, but so little time.

Passing the bench where you spent plenty of late nights when you first started dating you just let it out. All the things you'd been meaning to say over the last few years came out all at once.

“I did love you, you know. Sometimes it's hard for me to realise that I love people because in some ways it just comes so naturally. I know I love my family and my friends, because I mean that's a given, but when it comes to like, romantic love, that's a bit harder to realise. I don’t think I truly realised I loved you until I knew it would never be the same again. You’d never put your arm around me while we talk to our friends, you'd never pick me up for late night snack runs, or send me stupid pictures when I’m having a bad day, and I really, really miss that. I miss you.”

“You love me?”

“I did.”

“Do you still love me?”

“I think a part of me always will. You were my first love. I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you completely.”

“You were my first love too.”

You had reached your front door. The night was over. You had said everything you wanted to say, so nothing should really stop you back from going inside. You weren’t together, in theory you owed him nothing.

In reality, this boy was the first one to hold your heart in his hands and try his hardest not to let it break. He was your first love and it felt impossible to leave him. His hand in yours warmed your heart more than any blanket ever could. It just felt right to be with him, but you had to leave. This doesn’t work and as painful as it is, you just have to admit it. It would be for the best if you could find the strength to turn away.

Instead, you just look at him, admiring how his eyes shine like the stars, how he’s so young but already has laugh lines, and he doesn’t care because it means he’s lived a happy life. He was perfect, and the fact that it wasn’t meant to be broke your heart into smaller and smaller pieces every time you thought about it.

He was the one who broke the silence first.

“Can I kiss you? One last time to say goodbye?”

“Yes. Yes, you can.”

Breaking apart neither of you really knew what to say. You were both so different from the people you were when you first met, but the moment after you broke away it was as if nothing had changed. You were back to being those nervous kids again, whose cheeks got warm every time you held hands because it was all so new.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Shota.”

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday lovely Fandom :) Phew lord we’ve reached the eps I’ve only watched once. Because I was far too destroyed to watch them again. Knew my second time around would be my rewatch. I’m not ready emotionally. Will I ever be though? lol If we don't laugh we cry right? Ha Anyways I’m on a strict timetable before I move. So press forward I must. Sad at the lack of gifs in this one. But also understandable since we were all anxious af after this one. I am excited to do Tim analysis though. I always enjoy that.

Also pre-shout out to Eric and Melissa in this one. They never cease to amaze me with their acting chops and chemistry. Eric really kills me in this one in particular. Let us begin the slow breaking of our shipper hearts shall we? Also thank you to my readers for going through this with me. Once was hard enough. But revisiting isn’t any easier so thank you for coming with me on this journey. Off we go.

6x05 The Vow

We get our couple immediately after the cold open. I knew going into this ep it was going to be angsty. I just had no idea why or how bad it would be…It’s date night for our beautiful pair. I just love them constantly dating each other. Makes my soul so damn happy. I can’t put it into words well enough. We get ship crack in this opening sequence for sure though. The way they light up when they see one another. That never gets old. Lucy is lighting candles when her man enters in.

Tim couldn’t be any cuter just as happy for date night as she is. Looks like he’s carrying quite a bit into her apt. Lucy instantly notices his present for her. Tim continues with the cuteness and says yes and the beer is for him. This is so domestic I wanna die. This moment started off so precious I knew he we were in for a world hurt tbh. This scene was the calm before the storm.

Tim is not wasting any time getting a thank you kiss in. Lucy is lit up like a Christmas tree as she leans in for said kiss. I adore the smiles going into it. Making my shipper heart giddy af. Also his grip on her arm. Drawing her in nice and close. It’s doing things to me as they melt into each other. Lucy’s questioning face cracks me up as she pulls back. Tim picking up on it right away. Asking her 'What?' With so much sass I’m cackling. How he has grown in his sass heh

Lucy can’t help but note gift giving isn’t his normal love language. Fact that they’re talking about love languages has me reeling so much. It’s just so cute. I'm squeeing at how friggin precious and domestic this is. Tim challenges her back. Asking what is his love language then? Their banter right here is one of their love languages let's be honest LOL Always top tier with some flirtation mixed in for good measure.

Lucy being cute as all hell replies ‘Terse nods mainly.’ I mean she isn’t wrong haha There have been some wonderful sets about this line. Man sure does love his terse nods. For her especially. Mainly her really. Tim continues his trajectory towards adorable with his reply. Letting her know he’s trying to change things up.

The smile on that man’s face. Oh my word. I said this a lot in S5 and I’ll say it again. Have we ever seen this man so damn happy before her? The answer is a sharp no. Not ever. She is the absolute joy in his life. It just radiates out of him when they’re together. Especially when they’re bantering. Ugh my heart. These two kill me in the best way.

Lucy then turns into an adorable little bean herself. Asking Tim if she can open it now? She is so excited about this impromptu gift. No way she can wait through their dinner to open it. Tim say of course she can. I’m sure he was hoping she would open it right away. Especially with the thought he put into it. Also well done on the wrapping good sir.

Lucy’s reaction is delightful. It reminds me of the way she reacted in 6x03 with her trophy. Blown away by this man’s thoughtfulness. Not only that but making her laugh in the process as well. We get a second in love 'Lucy smile' in the second gif. He is so gone for her. Man they were really setting us up for a fall with the goodies they packed into this scene.

I love how Tim locks eyes with her and is beaming ear to ear. No one makes him smile like that except Lucy. Legit the sunshine in this man’s life. I can’t get over how damn happy he looks. My heart might implode at how happy he is. Happiness looks so good on him. Also how proud he looks as well at his choice in gift. Patting himself on the back for it hehe

We see it’s her KIA radio in a display case. Lucy looking at him like he’s hung the moon and stars. Bringing out her own in love 'Tim smile.' She too is beaming right back. Heart eyes paired with that joyful smile. Tim for this moment (not the rest of this ep) is once again 10/10 for her. Commemorating her takedown of Jeff Budny. Saw an excellent parallel between this and 2x12. About Tim giving back things that saved her life for him. My damn heart. I’m fine….

Tim continues on to say it was to memorialize the radio that saved her life. So grateful to that radio for taking the hit it did. I remember thinking how that radio represented her communication problems. Little did I know it would soon represent Tim’s as well. The irony of this gift will hit us painfully hard later in this episode. Having watched rest of the season as well it represents their’s as a couple too. *sigh*

Anyways we get a SECOND kiss in this moment. That’s how I knew it was coming like a freight train at us. We got cuteness, flirtation, banter and two kisses in one scene. They were setting us up for a very hurtful fall. They just look like two happy idiots in love. *dreamy sigh* I wanna die it’s so precious. They fall back into each other for this second kiss.

The look in Lucy’s eyes ready to thank him for this radio. Not with dinner but some sexy times. That kiss before it’s interrupted looked like it was headed for the bedroom. Dinner be damned at that point. The way Tim is leaning heavily into that kiss too. Ready to go in for more. His patented first kiss need an immediate second one well underway. Phew lord. He was more than ready to receive that thanks LOL

Sadly Tamara steps through the door. Doing what she does best. Be a wet blanket for their bedroom endeavors. I love her anyways though haha She instantly apologizes saying she forgot it was date night. Tim sighs as they pull apart and Lucy goes into mom mode after she hits Tim. haha It’s so cute. Little damn family up in here.

Tamara says she can hide in her room. Lucy replies that’s not necessary. That she can make a plate for her room if she’d like though. Then the scene takes a giant shift in tone. Tim receives the phone call that ruins our entire shipper lives. It sounds dramatic but it’s really not…Tim’s whole demeanor changes. Lucy is crazy intuitive to it. Her internal Tim radar going haywire. The tight way he replies and says he has to go.

Lucy wanting follow up questions. It’s the way she says. ‘Just wait.’ Not wanting him to go. *heart clutch* The sheer panic and worry developing in her soul and in ours. That gnawing unsettling feeling we feel through out the rest of the episode. Breaks my heart. She clearly spent the whole day waiting to be with him for their date night. Only to have him taken away with no answers. Lucy looks SHOOK as her entire heart walks out the door. It's written all over her face. His abrupt departure filling her with questions and worry. So it begins…

We see Tim pull up in his truck to the pre-arranged spot. A man comes out of his own car and enters in. I was on pins and needles waiting to see wtf this was about. Who the man was. Why he had the power to make Tim, basically run from date night with his girl. I knew in the back of my mind had to be his military past. Only thing I could think of to make him spook like this.

They shake hands when he gets into the truck. He thanks Tim for coming. Our boy replies he didn’t have a choice. If Ray is alive they have a big problem. The intrigue meter continued to grow. Who was this Ray? What problem did he present to them both? Tim looks like he’s seen a ghost when he’s shown Ray’s photo. He was supposed to have died in an air strike….He's been working as a gun for hire and came into LAX the day before.

Tim asks why he would come to L.A? Apparently his mom is dying of cancer. That’s who they’re staking out. It’s here we find out what the vow is. And it’s not a good one….Tim is not onboard for honoring this pact they made. To kill Ray if he ever resurfaced. To pay him back for the friends he killed. We see the conflict on Tim's face. How he doesn’t know how he’s gonna tackle this. Eric killing me softly early on in this one. His eyes alone scream so much emotion.

We see Lucy unable to sleep. In what I can only assume is Tim’s shirt. I think Melissa confirmed it was and thanked the fans for their keen eye. It’s the little things we love so much. Lucy is clearly missing him. So naturally she sleeps in a shirt of his. Also her DOD ring and her necklace are in plain view as well. Killing me softly. She can’t sleep because he’s supposed to be next to her. His consistent calming presence is missing and she can’t relax enough to rest.

Their date night was supposed to end with him asleep by her side. Not this. We can see the anxiety just seeping out of her. Don’t blame her one bit. No one knows that man better than her. From the second he took that phone call she knew. Deep in her gut that not only was something off but very very wrong. Her whole being emanating unease and concern. I feel you Lucy. The rapport and connection they’ve built over last 5 seasons coming in hot here.

Lucy looks sick to her stomach and it makes me wanna cry. The hurts so good is ever present in this scene. She is missing him and crazy worried. Her rampant anxiety is not letting her rest. My guess is other than 6x01 they’ve scarcely spent a night apart. The way he took off is scaring the shit out of her with good reason. So she tries to quell it with a phone call. Sadly she gets his VM. Her message to him makes my stomach sink more. Lucy is used to being his go to. She was left in the cold and her stress level is rising due to it.

Tim watches her call and VM come in. He looks pained at not being able to answer it. It’s the way he sighs and closes his eyes. It’s killing him to keep her at a distance. Eric out here trying to murder my feels with his superb acting. This truly begins the immense breakdown that is their communication. Lucy showed her hand at it before this ep in 6x04. Now it’s Tim’s turn at it. We had indications of it but s6 showed us how glaring it is. The cracks in their foundation were there. We just didn't want to see it. These are the issues Eric wanted to tackle.

Honestly when we're on the other side of this I'll be real grateful for it. Till then this just hurts. Now Tim’s communication probs are particularly glaring in these in this ep and the next. Pains me to write it but our boy has serious issues with stuff like this. You know he knows she is at home worried sick. That’s why he looks so pained. Tim knows her just as well as she does him. Very aware she is panicked and worried about where he is. If he’s ok. Absolutely killing him to keep her in the dark. To Tim right now he think's despite that it's the right call.

This is Tim Bradford so he thinks he’s doing it to protect her. To keep her from his dark past affecting her. If he distances himself and handles it solo it’ll be ok. Because he doesn’t need help. Wants shoulder this alone. Oh Timothy, my love you are so wrong. It pains me how wrong you are. His childhood issues screaming out in this decision. Which we will get into. That gif of Captain Holt's ‘Paaaaiiiin’ gif is fitting right here. *sad sigh*

Greer rejoins Tim in the truck with his recon. Tim is clearly uncomfortable with this whole thing. Weighing so many things at the moment. What he has to lose with any action they do. His soul is already so heavy with the past. It pains me to watch this. Tim is trying so hard to talk Mark out of this. Asking what they’re really going to do? What the point of all this really is? Noting them even talking about this is criminal conspiracy. Greer gas lights Tim this entire episode and I do not appreciate it.

Saying he can’t believe the ‘Reaper.’ is going soft on him. He is softer because of a wonderful woman named Lucy Chen. He’s in love with a person who is beautiful inside and out. One who has changed him so much. So yeah he’s softer now Greer. Also the first time I heard that nickname it made me fan myself. Is that wrong? lmao Idk if it is but I found it insanely attractive. I probably shouldn’t haha But here we are. With me still finding that service nickname sexy. I am who I am. Tim says he isn’t soft. He’s only thinking of what’s at risk here.

They can’t be committing murder, because of a pact that was made years and years ago. I love Tim’s line about they made it in the anger and fog of war. No doubt, with his nickname alone, we can see how angry Tim was going into the service. How could he not be? He came from a household where his emotions were suppressed heavily. So there is zero doubt in my mind he went into the service full of anger. Not only angry but loyal af as we know. That combination alone would result in this pact/vow being made.

Tim is almost reflecting on how much he has grown since that moment in time. There was a lot of talk about the ways Tim hasn’t changed following this episode. Hell even inside this ep with him keeping Lucy at bay. But he has. He changed so very much since Lucy came into his life. It’s why he brings up the lives they’ve built. The life he is currently building with his soulmate. The jobs they hold.

That angry young man doesn’t exist anymore. The one who would murder for his squad in retaliation. Now Tim still has that instinct in him. Don’t get me wrong; scorched earth for those who mess with his loved ones. But this? This situation puts the life he’s built at risk. Puts the love of his life at risk within the department. Unfortunately Tim is still loyal af and Greer uses that against him.

Gas lights him some more. Saying how they’ll never get to build lives because of Ray. Pulling on that thread of guilt that lives deep inside Tim's soul. Trying to reawaken a man that is long gone at this point. But is still loyal to a fault. Weighed down with enough tortured guilt to keep this going. I resent Mark for using it against him I really do. Friggin stunard...My Italian rage coming out for Greer.

It’s here we find out more about what went down between them all. Not only that but WHY him being around is such a damn problem for Tim/Mark. I would be remiss if I didn't note this. How much I am enjoying Tim in street clothes. Mmm nice and scruffy too. He is scruffy most of this season and I am here for it. He looks so good in that jacket it’s sinful. How can he make such a simple jacket so attractive? Yum. Ray asks what they’re doing here? Greer pipes in to bring him to justice. He asks for what?

Tim starts to list off the numerous reasons why. Going AWOL, faking his death, felony grand theft, stealing half million from the government. Just to name a few sweet lord… Then to top it off, he called in an air strike on his own guys when they came for him. Ugh. Real peach this one. That there wasn’t enough of Henderson and Coyle to fit in a shoe box….ooof. It’s here we find out what Ray has on them. That he read the after action report. That it didn’t read that way. Tim justifies it by saying it only reads that way so his wife and daughter got his death benefits.

Of course that’s the most Tim Bradford thing ever. ‘Some things matter more.’ Only breaking the rules if it’s for the greater good. We talk a lot about Lucy’s empathy but don’t sleep on Tim’s. It runs very very deep. This is proof it was a huge part of him before the Isabel trauma buried it and Lucy resurrected it. That being said this doesn’t look good at all for Tim. By bringing Ray in it endangers their service record and their current jobs. Because as kind as what they did was. It has consequences because they lied on an official government document. My stomach turned even farther with this scene.

Eric KILLS me in this portion. This man has no right making me this emotional. How has he not won any awards? His beautiful shimmering blue eyes cutting me deep. Eric is so expressive in just his eyes alone. But he gives this scene everything he’s got in his arsenal my god. They get away from Ray’s to talk. Tim immediately says they’re not killing him. It’s not happening. (Someone needs to capture this scene in gif form BTW) It's a crime there isn't one. Mark tries to appeal he’s dead anyways.

Tim won’t hear of it. Says it won’t matter when the nightmares come knocking. And we know he’s had those nightmares. Not just about the service but about 5x19. About the life he was forced to take. Tim says they need to just come clean about everything. They don’t have a choice. Greer fights him some more. Saying it’s just going to blow up their lives as a result. Tim tells him he won’t let that happen. He’ll take the fall for him. Ugh Tim no. You have a life that’ll get blown up too my love. A woman who would be devastated to watch this take you down.

There's a Lyric from a band I love. "A thousand scars betray me Oh, what's another one?" That is Tim in this moment. What's one more emotional scar? Better than Greer losing his life because of what he chose. Tim's integrity is one of my fav traits about him. It’s the one I relate to the most. Because I am the same way. It drives a lot of my decisions. He's so willing to fall on his sword because he bears the weight of that decision still. Mark pleads some more but Tim won’t have it. Says he can’t with tears in his eyes. (I'm fine....) He is not that hot headed young man anymore. Life has kicked him around and he’s seen things. This isn’t the path and he won’t let Greer take it.

Tim follows up with he won’t let him do it. Even if it’s without him. It’s here where Eric just rips my heart out with his performance. When Mark asks him if he would arrest him if he killed Ray? It’s the way his voice breaks. Tears threatening to fall when he chokes out ‘Yes.’ Rip my heart right out writers sweet lord. Greer says he’s out then. But I wanna deck him for his reply after that. He hangs all future crimes Ray does on Tim. I don’t curse very often in these. But how fucking dare you sir. How dare you put that on this man.

He is already riddled with so much guilt and shame. His soul is ten times heavier than it should be. Because Tim shoulders things deeply. Not only that he does it solo. A chunk of what weighs his soul down isn’t even his fault. Tim is a much deeper empath than he’s given credit for as I stated earlier. He absorbs the feelings and pain of those around him. Takes them in and never lets it go. It’s why he was and honestly still is so rigid as a cop. That iconic line ‘Rules matter boot.’ Was his PTSD in a line and we had no idea back in S2.

Because anytime this man has let his guard down to break the rules it’s hurt him. Mitch, Isabel and we now find out about this. Tim did the right thing and yet he’s paying the price not Ray. It’s the hitch in his breath as Mark takes off that’s the final emotional blow for me. I just want to hug him so much. The way he tries to catch his breath after he’s gone. Finally releasing all the emotions he was bottling up. You can see why he was wants to retreat to one person who will make him feel whole again. It’s why his next scene is with Lucy….

This scene we get to see Melissa shine along side Eric. Killing us softly with their angsty goodness. We watch the sheer amount of relief run across Lucy’s face. It's evident when she hears his keys in the door. The happy relief is fleeting though. Her opening line is salty af as it should be. ‘Oh good, you’re not dead.’ She is ready to rip into him and rightfully so. Hurts to watch but she has every damn right to. She kept it together for work. But now that he’s in front of her she doesn’t have to. Her sass turns into the anxiety and worry she’s gone through. Telling him that his sorry isn't good enough. (it’s not…)

Saying she spent the last THIRTY-SIX hours. (That's a day and a half Timothy...) Worried he was bleeding out in various landmarks all over the city. Ugh poor Lucy. That’s very taxing on your nervous system to be in that state of mind for that long. That’s way too long to go without communication. But this is pre-therapy Tim so...Communication isn’t his strong suit when he isn’t in fight or flight mode. One of my fav lines of the scene. ‘Telling me you’re alive is NOT optional.’ Hell no it's not. The hitch in her voice and tears in her eyes. Gah killing it Mel.

Trying to communicate clearly to him this behavior isn’t going to fly. Not ever. Rewatching this season, it pains me how many hints the writers gave us about their communication problems. Now Lucy is trying here. With telling him what he did was not ok in the least. She then asks what the hell is making him so crazy? Expecting him to tell her. Tim’s reply is vague and only serves to make her angrier. Especially when he says he’s doing it to protect her status at the station. She asks if he committed a crime?

The irony of this scene is that radio being prominently shown. How it was a happy thing 36 hours ago. Now it’s a symbol of their dysfunctional communication as a couple. Tim tells her no…Not technically. The fire continues to build in Lucy. Angrily retorting how it’s serious enough she could be disciplined for not reporting it then. Tim tries to do his protection line for her but it doesn’t land at all. The fire in her is raging at this point. She stands up and angrily asks what he’s doing here then? Tim is so taken aback by this. His reply breaks my heart. Stumbling over himself ‘I...I came to see you…’

To Tim it’s his default to go to her. When he’s upset or lost he goes to Lucy. Seeking her out like the sanctuary she’s always been for him. Has been for years. Even more so since they got together. Tim came to be near his comforter and happy place. Wanting her to envelop him in her arms and take his hurt away. Unfortunately my love, she can’t help or take away what she doesn’t know about. It’s why her hellfire continues on. Lucy absolutely obliterates him with her reply. 'To what? Order take in? Watch TV? Pretend like nothing is going on?' Tim so desperately wants to sink into solace he’s used to. But he won’t let himself tell her what's going on.

Thus denying himself the one thing he came here for. Her. Lucy (who is wearing the same blouse from 5x12 btw. Way to push the knife deeper writers) tells him if he’s not here to tell her to truth.... We pan back to Tim’s face. She can read him like a book and knows he’s not going to. She then tells him he’s needs to leave. My heart is on the floor at this point. I totally understand her drawing this boundary. I truly do. Lucy is trying to show him there are consequences to his actions. Holding him accountable. That he needs to communicate and trust her. Lucy wants him to see despite the ramifications she is there for him. Sadly Tim doesn’t see this hence her asking him to leave. My poor shipper heart.

To make matters worse Eric is personally attacking me with his teary eyes and hurt puppy dog expression. Had to get this gif in. Why? Because it beautifully captures the devastation of her sending him away. We haven’t seen him this visibly upset since 4x09. Except this time his person isn’t there to make his tears go away. She is the one causing them and sending him away. The range of emotions flitting across his face has me bawling my eyes out. The man deserves all the awards once again. The way his eyes convey so much. How utterly wrecked he is. It's written all over his expression.

Eric brought it so hard in this episode holy hell. Tim came to her seeking out the comfort of normalcy from her. As we all know our boy needs his routine and structure to stay sane. Lucy has become an intricate part of that. He sought out his girlfriend to stabilize himself. Sadly there was no comfort to be found for him. Gotta give to get my poor broken boy. As much as it’s frustrating to watch him do this I get it. As I said earlier he has the tendency to shoulder burdens alone. It’s how he has survived most of his life. Doesn't excuse it just explains it.

His childhood is a massive proponent of why he operates this way. He came from an abusive household as we all know. Where he had to turn off his emotions and learn not to ask for help. If he did it only served to further the abuse. Also it was looked upon as weak. Was seen as useless if you did. When that is ingrained in you at an early age it is so friggin hard to get rid of it. It's an instant default for him. It’s not something being loved properly just gets rid of. If anything it only makes it worse on some level. Because it means you something to lose as Tim does in Lucy.

To explain Tim’s side of it I need to give a little piece of me. I can relate because of what my mother did to me growing up. It’s something I fight to this very day. I hope one day it’ll be easier and less of a deep grove in my brain I go to. Most of my childhood as I’ve shared was full of emotional abuse. My mom didn’t like it if you spoke your mind or messed up in any way. If you did you got the silent treatment for weeks on end. I wish I was kidding. She once went three weeks without speaking to me as a kid. Pretending like I didn’t exist. Felt like I didn’t have a mother. As I got older her default punishment only got worse. When I went to college my baby sister got engaged couple years in.

To a wonderful man. They're still married and happy btw. But my mother could see herself losing her control over my sister. Told me to pick between her and my baby sister. The choice was easy. I picked my sister. She then abandoned me and didn’t speak to me for 18 months after that. Her doing that made me feel like, whenever I stand up for myself or make a mistake with someone I love, I’m going to be abandoned. I just recently got into a fight with said sister. I had that exact same panic after I stood up for myself thinking she was going to discard me. She has proven time and again that’s not true. It’ll never be true. My sister and her husband have always made room for me in their lives here in CO. Made me feel loved unconditionally.

The same will be true when I join them in TN when I move. And yet that deep ingrained thought that she would abandon me still appeared. Worried that because I had stood up for myself she would do what my mom did. She didn’t cause loves me. But I’m still not used to the idea of unconditional love. It’s hard to grasp when you’ve never really had it before. So this is where I related to Tim so hard and defaulting to doing this alone. I’m in my 30s and this still affects me deeply even with therapy. Tim is pre-therapy and not seeing the unconditional love Lucy has for him. Which is a precursor for 6x06 honestly. You could have the best human in the world loving you and still not accept it or understand that you even have it.

Tim doesn’t know how to ask for help and to see Lucy would love him through his mistakes. He’s protecting her but also himself in this moment. Because he’s ashamed of what he’s involved in. That she won’t love him anymore due to his past sins. So he’s keeping her at a distance from him. Thinking it’s protecting her from his toxic past. But also protecting him from losing her as well. This scene, sadly, is the result of many miscommunications since they started boiling up and over. A gradual escalation toward breaking apart. This was a incredibly hard scene to stomach and watch. Lucy is vibrating with how upset she is when he says ‘Understood’ and leaves. Un-break my heart you guys.

Another banger of a song running through this final scene. The songs always hit and work so well with the tempo of a scene. It’s ’Teeth.’ By mallrat. Have a whole playlist of songs from this show I love it. We see Lucy looking at her phone fighting the urge to call Tim. Despite their epic fight she misses him. It clearly shows. Tamara brings her out of her thoughts by plopping on the couch. Asking her what she's doing?I adore her saying she is going to be a good girlfriend. Trust her man. *heart damn clutch* HER MAN. It’s the little morsel we all needed after that heated argument of insane pain.

I am most grateful for Tamara in this moment. Wanted to shove her out the door in the opening scene though. LOL Nolan is such a failure to be there for Lucy earlier in the ep. Where as Tamara is clutch af in this moment. She is emotional support while Lucy goes through this. Talks it out with her. Tamara asks if she’s heard anything? Lucy tells her about their heated fight last night. That it’s been their only contact….That Tim just stood there. Lucy seems so at a loss and it hurts my heart.

Tamara makes her laugh and says they should put a tracker in his truck lmao Lucy calling her out for being a bad influence. Tamara follows up that No, she’s just a really good teacher. Lucy is floored replying what? Wasn't able to fit this in but her lessons learned are hilarious. No coffee in gun hand and head on a swivel. The swivel part had me laughing so hard. What a goober. I love them. Just the levity Lucy needed. I need more of them in S7.

We pan back to Tim in his truck. Longingly looking at his phone. Specifically at Lucy’s contact page. He is breaking on the inside without her and yet can’t force himself to let her in. Also would’ve killed me if it had a pic of Lucy or of them. I would’ve legit died of happiness. What a missed opportunity writers. He is missing her so much and is dying to reach out. Wants her by his side but can’t overcome his wiring to do so.

His default is to go to her. To talk to her. Once again just another look into their broken communication. When one stops so does the other and it goes to shit. They are partners in every sense of the word except for their communication. They were stellar at that with work. It blows my mind how quickly that broke down when they got together. They had something extra special to lose when they did though. *sigh* s7 you have work to do.

We see Tim refocus his sights on Ray. Tasked with the mantle Mark Greer thrust upon him. He’s now on a crusade to catch him before Tim has anything else to add to his soul…. Phew this was an emotionally draining one to get though and it’s not even the harder of two. Phew lord. Thank you to every single one of you reading these, liking them, reblogging or commenting (love me some comments don’t be shy) they mean the world to me. I shall see you all in 6x06 where can sob together. ❤️

Side notes-non chenford

All the Aaron and Blair scenes are so icky knowing her endstory. Bleh.

Beauty of rewatching I can skip all the Nolan content. Snoozeville again.

Smitty only hanging out in therapy office for snacks lmao Needed in a tense episode

Lucy’s crack about asking Celina To Aaron. Lmao. Commend our girl for cracking jokes and keeping her shit together on shift.

Nolan is absolutely useless when Lucy comes to him for help. Their friendship truly fell apart when Jackson died. Any rapport or connection shot to hell. He can’t read the utter panic she is in and I hate him for it. As useful as a paper hat in a rainstorm to keep you dry.

Also the lyrics used earlier from my fav bad RED. The lyrics ARE TIM. In this episode to a tee Here's the link https://genius.com/Red-cauterize-lyrics

[pandorascripts]

Maybe Y/N scared of telling Wednesday that they like her but she finds out from small little journal entries in your diary that fell from your backpack when you passed her. She liked them back. Then maybe a cute lil' scene of the two laying in bed and talking? Cute kiss maybe :O

Secret Love Notes

summary: Wednesday suspected you to be the Hyde, it seems she missed the mark by a landslide. Thank God for Wednesdays snooping antics.

warnings: nothing, just cute fluff :)

note: this entire idea is adorable. SEND IN MORE REQUESTS! Also, don’t be afraid to requests others too!!! I’m working on some Enid fics. Sorry for slow posts broksis, I have no excuse, just been having writers block a bit. ————————

Ever since the murders started at Nevermore, you’d been… weird. Not just any kind of weird, awkward weird. You’d been avoiding Wednesday at any cost, and because of that, her suspicion on you had been at a high percentage. 

It sucked. That was the only thing Wednesday could say about you being the Hyde. Unfortunately, Wednesday had taken a liking to you, although, she wouldn’t admit it. 

Desperate to confront you after class, Wednesday packed up her things a little before it ended, and simply walked out the door. Ignoring Professor Rinesteen’s arguments and protests, she continued to the west end of Nevermore, where you were currently in Professor Binn’s class of A History to Outcasts. 

Professor Binn’s monotonous voice echoed across the dungeon-like room, lulling ninety percent of his students to sleep. Wednesday flipped open her pocket watch, glaring at the white line that ticked across every second. Two minutes until class went out… one minute… thirty seconds…

The bell rung and Wednesday closed her pocket watch, putting the chain back around her neck, and stared at the flood of students leaving. Most of them had their eyes half-open, others practically tripping over themselves in fatigue. 

Then, her eyes caught a hold of yours. You hair was in a braid, one of which Wednesday would like to congratulate the maker of because it truly was beautiful, and you had a way too large cardigan covering, what Wednesday assumed, were shorts. 

“Y/N,” she called out. 

You took out an earbud, looking around in confusion. 

“Over here.” Wednesday sighed, walking over to you instead, and poked your sleeve. 

You whipped around, panicked. She expected the panic to vanish, but you instead dropped your bag and sprinted Eastbound. 

Wednesday frowned. She knew most people were afraid of her, but they usually just stuck to avoiding her, not dashing away with panic. She reached down, putting books and folders back into your backpack. Wednesdays’s hand reached out for a brown leather notebook, which was perfectly propped open. Knowing she probably shouldn’t have, curiosity killed the cat, and she sat on the floor, flipping through. 

There were dates and doodles surrounding paragraphs of words. It was a journal, she realized. This only increased her curiosity, and so, Wednesday brought it back to her dorm. She decided to use her free hour to snoop, hoping to find something of a confession. 

Shoving the leather journal into her hoodie and under her arm, she dragged the backpack up the her dorm room. Wednesday began to fill with something akin to glee. She was going to get you, get your confession and expose you for the monster you were. Her thoughts were gruesome and happy, multiple ways you’d be locked up and behind bars, while she moved into another mystery swirled around her head. Then, the glee died down and a new feeling filled her. Wednesday seldom felt this emotion, it was grief. 

She frowned, utterly confused. Why was she sad? Wednesday dragged her feet along the prolonged hallways of Ophelia Hall, her thoughts taunting her and dreading her. What if you really were the Hyde? Well it shouldn’t matter, Wednesday didn’t do attachments and certainly not to murderers. Wednesday shook it off, straightening her posture for no one to see, and swung open her door. 

Sitting on her bed, she flipped the the first page, reading the date of the first day of school. Wednesday read with rapt attention, her lips flickering upwards. Reading your journal was better than talking to you, because she could read your thoughts rather than see your anxiety. At least in this journal you could say a sentence, the most Wednesday ever got from you was a timid greeting. Her stomach always churned terribly when it happened. The corners of her mouth flickered up again, reading your views of Plato’s Republic. Wednesday never knew you were into philosophy, but she found herself wanting to ask you about your views on Machiavelli, and Aristotle. Wednesday laid on her back, propping one foot over the other. She flipped another page, this entry a week later. 

‘Schools going good, Enid and I’s friendship is growing and I really think she’s cool! She’s introduced me to Yoko, who I’ve also taking a liking to. Everyone’s so nice at Nevermore, except Bianca, but I’ve no bad run-ins with her. Everything’s good. I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop.’

Wednesday got lost in time and pages, soon now approaching her next hour, but she didn’t care, seeing as she was now two days away from her own arrival. Wednesday got so lost in your worded thoughts, she completely forgot what she was looking for. She found herself relating with you on some level, except for you views on philosophy. That was something she’d never agree with you on. 

Wednesday reached another page, the entry showing that she’d been at the school for a week. 

‘Enid’s got a new roommate. She seems cool, scary, but cool, yknow? I think I’d like to be friends with her, but I know I’d end up falling for her’ — Wednesday quirked an eyebrow — ‘because she’s just my type. Brooding and mysterious. I think she hates me. She stares at me like she sees right through me, it’s kind of attractive. I literally just run away from her and I won’t even sit at the quad to eat anymore. This sucks.’

So you weren’t the Hyde, you were just… gay… and suffering from a crush to Wednesday. She frowned, deep in thought. She opened the journal back up, getting to another section. 

‘I hate crushes. I’m so close to just screaming and never showing up to class again. I hate the way my heart races when I’m around her. I literally only pass by her in the hallway, or in class and my hearts having a freaking spasm. She’s like a shark, I think she knows I like her. I always catch her staring at me. I don’t think she’s homophobic, she might just not like me at all, so me liking her is awkward or weird. I think I’m gonna avoid her. The crush has gotta die out, right?’

Wednesday flipped another page. 

‘FUCK! This won’t go away. I’m literally gonna leave Nevermore, run away and go to some stupid normie school. Wednesday keeps staring at me and every time I just blush hard and look away, I try not to bother her. I wonder if there’s some rumor about me and she caught wind of it. Maybe people think I do drugs or something.’

Another flip. This one was today. 

‘Enid thinks I should just go for it, tell Wednesday I like her. I cant though, cause I know she doesn’t like me. If she did, oh fuck I’d be the talk of the school. Everyone assumes Wednesday hates everybody, which is probably true, but then, why does she stare at me??? Does she hate me?? Does she like me?? Am I mysterious or something??? I hate school. I cant wait until this stupid massive crush washes away and Wednesday is gone from Nevermore. Enid said she already tried running away, but is only staying cause she wants to catch the Hyde. I couldn’t care less what that monster is, as long as it’s not killing me or my friends. I hope Wednesday doesn’t get herself in any trouble. The thought of her leaving this school actually makes me sad. Which is stupid, I know, cause I want her to leave, but the hearts fucking dumb.’

Wednesday sighed, closing the journal. She’d had enough of this. Every symptom you’d said you had Wednesday reciprocated, she’d just thought it was anxiety because she believed you to be the Hyde. But then again, she should’ve known better, she’s never been anxious in her life. Wednesday’s lack of emotions had left her… emotionally stupid. She didn’t understand emotions, much less feel a vast majority of them. 

Wednesday slid the notebook into your bag, hoisted it over her shoulder, and walked to your dorm. It was now six o’clock, your classes were over and so were everybody else’s. It was a good thing that in Wednesday’s investigation, she’d figured out that you didn’t have a roommate. If only she could have that same experience, Wednesday would live for it. 

Her fist hesitated as she knocked, dropping it down twice before she finally struck it. 

“Come in!” a muffled voice shouted. 

Wednesday opened the door, closing it shut with her foot, as she continued to walk. 

You turned to face her, not sure who she was. When your eyes locked with hers, your jaw dropped. 

“I have your bag, thought I’d return it,” stated Wednesday, setting it on the floor. Her eyes swiftly assessed the room, matching every little thing to your personality. The room was so… you. 

It seemed for every musical genre you had a poster. Wednesday could make out some big ones; Taylor Swift, Twenty One Pilots, and Green Day to name a few. Wednesday could’ve sworn she saw Eminem along there. 

“Thanks,” you whispered, grabbing it off the the floor and hanging it on a rack. 

Wednesday walked around your room, looking to your bookshelf with great interest. There, hundreds of books were stacked within it, the top reaching your ceiling and the bottom touching your carpet. 

“How do you even reach these?” she asked, pointing to the top ones. 

You smiled, anxieties gone now, and grabbed a footstool. Setting it down, you hummed to yourself as you stepped up. Then, you got on your tiptoes, tongue in between your teeth from concentration. 

“That way, or I just get Yoko. She’s tall.”

You stepped down from it, folding then, then nestled it back under your desk. 

Wednesday’s hands glided across the books, stopping when she saw her favorite philosopher. 

“Machiavelli. Color me impressed.”

“There’s Sun Tzu there, too. I’ve got a lot of philosophers.”

Wednesday stifled the corners of her mouth, pressing hard down to prevent a smile. She took the top of a book, tipping it down and sliding it out. The book was in pristine condition, no folded corners, or bookmarks far too big for it were there. 

Art of War, she thought. 

“Do you agree with Machiavelli and Sun Tzu’s views?”

You chuckled. “Not at all. Human kind is beautiful. Rulers should be kind and generous. Not cruel and vindictive.”

“I disagree. Homo sapiens are no better than animals, they should be ruled and put in control. They will always lash out and try to rise above, which is why rulers must be cruel. It’s the best way.”

You nodded your head, biting your lip. “You know your philosophy.”

“And so do you,” she stated, turning around to face you. Wednesday slid the book back into its place, walking over to you afterwards. 

“It’s nice to have a mind that’s willing to challenge mine.”

“I wouldn’t put me on the same pedestal as you, Wednesday. I’d probably disappoint.” You chuckled nervously, wrapping a hand around the back of your neck. 

“I somehow doubt that.”

You lightly smiled at her, walking over to sit on your bed. “Thanks for dropping off my stuff.”

Wednesday followed you, setting  on the bed as well. “I admit, I did snoop.”

Wednesday looked over to you, your face filled with stifled panic. 

“Nothing much. Just homework.”

She shook her head. “No, it was interesting, just not the type I wanted.”

You gulped, playing with your fingers anxiously. You hadn’t written anything badin there, at least not to you. The only thing you were worried about was your raging crush that you’d stored in there. 

“What were you looking for?” you asked timidly, afraid of the answer. 

“I wanted a confession. I believed you to be the Hyde.”

You gave Wednesday a condescending look. “Really? Me? I’m, like, probably the least threatening person at Nevermore.”

“You had all the signs. You’ve always been antsy around me.”

You swallowed harshly, looking away from Wednesday and to your desk. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“But then I read your journal.”

“Fuck,” you whispered, still not meeting her eye. “Hope you enjoyed it.”

“I realized you weren’t anxious because you’re the Hyde, but because of a schoo—“

“Don’t finish that sentence.”

You stood up, walking to the door. You pointed to the empty hallway. “I think you should go.”

“Too bad, I think not.”

You stomped your foot slightly, huffing a breath of hot air out. “Well, I’m glad your enjoying yourself, Wednesday, but I don’t like to be played with.”

“I’m no—“

“You are. You have a stupid smirk on your face, I see it clear as day.”

Wednesday cleared her throat, not even realizing she was smiling. “You’re imagining things.”

“See you later, Wednesday,” you said, even though Wednesday was still sitting on your bed. 

“Close the door.”

“No.”

Wednesday got up with a sigh, took your hand off the door, and slammed it shut. She ignored your many protest and sputters, simply dragging you back to your bed and sitting you on it. 

“I do not mean to play games, nor do I wish to make you upset.”

You looked away from her again, eyes darting from trinket to trinket. A cold hand in yours made your eyes snap downwards, Wednesday had fully wrapped her hand around yours. You gulped, the log in your throat refusing to budge. Wednesday used her other hand to lightly place it under your chin, drawing it upwards. 

“Much better,” she husked out. 

With her eyes so fierce and strong, your body begged you to look away, but you couldn’t. Her gaze was magnetic, pulling and sucking you inwards. You’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t enjoy the helpless feeling. 

“As I was reading your journals, I discovered that the reason for my own racing pulse… and other less-than adequate feelings wasn’t because I was anxious. I believed you to be the Hyde, but I was obviously mistaken. Those feelings were caused for the same reason as yours,” Wednesday paused her low tone, drawing in a breath and leaning impossibly closer, “desire.”

You tried to breath out, hoping to expel some of your anxiousness, but it came out shaky and uncertain. Your nerves were on fire; every crevice of your body feeling everything there was to feel. The subtle wind of Wednesday’s breath against your lips, her cold hand raising goosebumps as it traveled to your jaw, the small gaps in your cardigan exposing your skin to the warm air — everything was driving your crazy. You’d never felt anything like it. 

Then, when you made no move to back away, Wednesday moved barely an inch forward. Her soft lips landed lightly on yours; eyes automatically fluttering closed as if it was routine. Wednesday kept the kiss soft, her lips applied a light and calming pressure. 

She pulled back, not bothering to put too much distance between you two. Then, you saw something that could only be described as magical. Wednesday smiled. 

Her eyes crinkled slightly, dimples of either side of her face blossoming, and a light gaze in her eyes. It was a side of Wednesday you could only dream of seeing, and here you were, awake and sober, witnessing it. A part of you wanted to desperately kiss her; but the sight in front of you kept you stupefied. 

Wednesday lightly tapped your cheek. “Did I break you already?”

You shook your head, a smile of your own forming. “You’re gonna have to try a lot harder to break me.”

“I look forward to it.

[headkiss]

Hii hope you're having a nice day! can I request Peter Parker in a sun and moon dynamic with reader?? (reader being the moon ofc) reader kinda have Wednesday Addams vibes or something like that KSBSKSN💕💕

hiii idk if i did this well </3 but hopefully you like it!! tysm for requesting | 0.6k fluff and wednesday addams (ish)!reader

Peter has learned how to read you.

Much has changed from your first meeting. Then, he’d thought you disliked him, found him annoying. Now, he knows that you simply carry yourself that way, and that you don’t mean anything by it.

He’s learned that a tiny lift of the corners of your mouth translates to a beaming smile, that squeezing his hand gently three times means ’I love you,’ that when you blink a lot you’re getting emotional.

He feels proud to know these things about you. Like he’s learned the best language there is.

It’s true, he’s found out, opposites really do attract. To you, Peter’s the sun, the only constant bright thing that doesn’t hurt your eyes, that you’re happy to have around.

You aren’t the most affectionate person, and Peter is so enough for the both of you, but you sometimes feel like you should be showing him more appreciation somehow. Even if it feels unnatural. For him, you’d like to try.

It’s why you bring him flowers.

It’s a quick knock on the door, the kind Peter knows is you, and he rushes to get it. He’s beaming when he opens it, your black clothes and signature boots, the small glint in your eyes he likes to believe is just for him.

“Hey. What are you doing here?” He says.

“I’m-”

“Not that I don’t want to see you,” he cuts you off. “I do, it’s just a surprise.”

“That’s the point, Peter.”

“Okay. Hi, then,” he rocks on his feet, like he can’t stay still.

“These are for you,” you bring your hands out from behind your back, the bouquet held out to him.

“Really?”

“Who else would they be for?” You deadpan.

He takes them from you, smells them to hide the smile that spreads over his face.

Flowers might not seem like such a big deal to most, but coming from you, it’s the best thing Peter’s ever received. He knows you, he knows that this is out of your comfort zone and his heart bursts at the thought of you going out of your way for him. For him, of all people.

“I should be the one getting you flowers,” he jokes.

“Boys aren’t the only ones who can give flowers,” you say. Matter-of-fact.

“I know that. I just mean you didn’t have to do this for me.”

“I wanted to show you I appreciate you.”

“Well, thank you. I appreciate you back.”

He invites you inside, and you follow him to the kitchen where he puts the flowers in a vase, carefully like they’re going to break. Like that’s the last thing he wants.

Peter’s all happy smiles and bouncing around the room while you’re a linger in the corner type person. There’s a balance there that’s too perfect, one more drop of something would tilt the scale, but that never happens.

“Do you wanna stay and watch a movie?” He asks, sliding the vase to the middle of the counter now that he’s done.

“Depends what you choose.”

“How about you choose? Anything, even the scary stuff you like so much.”

“But you don’t like the scary stuff.”

“If you let me hold your hand, I think I can make it through.”

Peter really doesn’t care what movie you choose, because his eyes will probably be on you the whole time anyway. Besides, if he can have his hand in yours for the duration of it, he’s won either way.

“I suppose I could do that,” you say.

Peter doesn’t miss the smallest twitch of your mouth. A smile.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hi I love all your fics and you’re amazing. I don’t know if the requests are open but I like to please request a Wednesday Addams x fem!reader part 2 of https://at.tumblr.com/gay-dorito-dust/hello-there-i-hope-youre-healthy-and-well-and/g1b23fuwbwcx

if somebody already requested a part 2, please ignore this.

So maybe every time Wednesday looks at the reader with Xavier, she can’t helped but noticed how Xavier makes the reader happy and that Xavier & the reader are perfect for each other. Fluff for Xavier and the reader. Tiny angst

The long awaited part 2 had arrived! So sorry it took so long cuz I didn’t think a second part would be requested so badly. so here ya go! 🦦

Ngl kinda got sloppy by the end.

“Wednesday…you have to come out sometime.” Enid said as she waited outside her dorm for Wednesday. She’s been doing this for days on end since she witnessed you and Xavier kiss; The day she heard her heart break and fracture off into sections like pressurised glass. “The only time that I’ll come out this dorm is when my soul transcends to the afterlife. Leaving behind my rotting corpse for an unfortunate soul to stumble upon unexpectedly and scream bloody murder.” Wednesday’s blunt reply came out muffled from the wooden door standing between them.

Enid sighed, she didn’t blame Wednesday for taking a chance but she couldn’t blame you either for you didn’t know of Wednesday’s feelings for you; after all Wednesday wasn’t the most outgoing nor vocal with her emotions and it was hard to know where it was that you stood with her on a daily basis. So much so that misunderstandings and misinterpretations concerning the context of her actions were enough to make any potential confrontation turn sour. However as her friend and dorm mate, Enid couldn’t stand seeing Wednesday go through her first heartbreak alone.

It wasn’t the healthiest option and Enid would know as she’s been through similar situations firsthand but the only difference between them was that Wednesday didn’t seem to want to be comforted. She’s rather writher in the pain then get better and move on, she’d rather remember that day for the rest of her days then go a single one of them forgetting the emotional pain she felt. It was almost a form of self torture that the pigtailed girl would take the weirdest amount of pleasure from. “Wednesday please just, just come down the the quad with me and then you can head back up afterwards?”

Silence greeted the blonde, indicating that Wednesday was either listening or ignoring her, Enid hoped it was the former rather then the latter, “You don’t even have to talk or…or look at her or Xavier. Please Wednesday, I just want my friend back…even if it is just for a lunch period.” When Enid didn’t get a response, her shoulders dropped in disappointment at the realisation that she would be heading down to the quad alone once again. “Who am I kidding, of course you won’t come.” She said to herself, heartbroken, “I’m just as stupid and as naïve as the rest of them to you, aren’t i?” Just as she was about to turn her back to her dorm and start walking off down the hall, the door creaked open to reveal a sombre looking Wednesday.

Originally Wednesday fought against the idea of walking into the quad and seeing you and Xavier but Thing has insisted that she’d go down for lunch with Enid; seeing as how she rarely left her dorm nowadays besides for occasional mandatory therapy sessions with Kinbott, school classes and her extracurricular as a hummer with Eugene on the weekends. Wednesday made sure to busy herself so that it would minimise the probabilities of a chance encounter with you or Xavier; She found herself unable to look at or even acknowledge you or him, together or independently, without reimagining the sound of a shattering heart and the excruciating pain that immediately followed afterwards.

Wednesday made it very apparent that she wasn’t hiding and that she was just recuperating but Thing knew better then to believe that but didn’t dare say anything about it to her in case she would become even more recluse then she already was. Thing knew Wednesday didn’t hate you, he doesn’t think that she could bring herself to do that no matter how hard she tried because her heart would always cry out for yours; whether in pain or in love, her heart would forever cry for what could’ve been had she gotten to you before Xavier. Thing also knew that deep down the only reason Wednesday was allowing herself to doing this was make sure that Xavier would treat you right.

Wednesday didn’t want you settling for second best treatment when you should instead be pampered and treated well. Probably not to the overbearing extent of her parents but just enough for her to know that for the time being -until your eventual break up- you were in safe hands with Xavier. “Wednesday, I thought you-“ “take advantage of this before i change my mind.” Wednesday cut her dorm mate off, making Enid smile and with that the unlikely pair began to venture down the hallway together and descended the stairs that would lead them out to the quad.

“Wednesday?” Your voice caused a hitch in her breath as she saw you and Xavier stand up from your lunch table, “oh thank god your okay!” You cried as you rushed towards her but didn’t dare to hug her, knowing how she despises physical displays of affection and instead presented her with a teddy bear with mismatched fur and a heart shaped hole in it’s chest. “I was so worried that something might’ve happened to you and when I told Xavier, he suggested that we go into Jericho and get you something.” You explained as Xavier moved to join you, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. Wednesday silently reached to take the best from your hand and looked at it for a second or two before pressing it against her chest as she looked back over at you to see your worried expression.

“It’s despicable…I shall treasure it.” Wednesday told you poignantly and watched as you looked to Xavier who smiled at you adoringly as he squeezed your shoulder. “I told you she’d like it, after all your the one who picked it for her.” He told you, bringing you into his side as he prepped kisses against your temple and forehead; Her chest still stung with the shards of her glass heard but it was comparatively more bearable to last time she stumbled upon you and Xavier sharing a tender moment.

You looked back at Wednesday with a smile on your face, “Xavier, over here,” you playfully nudged your boyfriend, “was about to get you this ridiculously oversized teddy bear holding a massive pink heart but I shot it down saying that you’d rather dissect it or throw it out a window before accepting it.” Xavier looked at you with an offended expression as he nudged you back, “well I’m sorry but I’m not a mind reader on what people like.” He huffed, pretending to look away from you as though he was mad but the dopey grin on his face failed to allude Wednesday the moment you hugged yourself into his side.

“Hi, you.” You said when Xavier finally looked over at you, smiling, as he pressed his forehead against yours, “hello to you too.” He chirped softly, brushing his nose against yours. Wednesday couldn’t help but notice how Xavier grounded you and put your anxieties to rest instead of invalidating or downplaying them whilst also recognising how you would reassure Xavier of your feelings by an abundance of affection and reassurance. You both complimented each other perfectly and seeing how you both went out of your way to help cheer her up together only made her more melancholic about everything.

Wednesday felt conflicted on whenever she should hate you and Xavier being together but the more you shown how passionate you were about each other and towards the people within your lives, she found it harder to hold any resentment towards your relationship. After all she only came down to the quad to make sure that Xavier would take good care of you. So seeing him looking more relaxed and at peace with himself within your presence then he ever had since she started at Nevermore told her that she was also looking out on behalf of Xavier just as much as she was looking out for you.

So Wednesday watched observantly as you and Xavier shyly linked hands beneath the lunch table as you all sat yourselves down and talked amongst yourselves, she watched as you and Xavier would stare intently at each other whenever it was the other’s turn to speak, listening to every word being said and relying your options respectively alongside how you’d share portions of food that you both liked. Wednesday knew that her crush on you wouldn’t subside easily but she was satisfied with the fact that you were both happy with each other.

That’s all she wanted for you…and Xavier she guessed. “Wednesday, Xavier is being mean and won’t share his food with me!” You cried playfully. “Well that’s what you get for trying to bite me when I offered you my apple slices.” Xavier played along with a smirk. “Your hand was in the way! I was trying to reach for the food!” You exclaimed.

[basementdoll]

Spanish Inquisition

Wednesday 13

What does this part-time Murderdoll, chicken lovin’, eyebrow shavin’, horror movie watchin’ dread head have to say for himself when Cardinal Doran asks him your questions and applies the thumbscrews? Read on and find out. Noose of the world: Brother Naki.

Weds: “Right, you must be here to ask me lots of offensive questions?”

Hammer: Usually when we do this we only get questions about how gay are you or how much dick do you love to suck, but this time we’ve only got questions about chickens.

Weds: “Cool! Questions from real fans!”

READ THAT YOU HAD A PET CHICKEN, OMAR. DID YOU JUST GET SICK OF LOOKING AFTER HIM AND EAT HIM?

Pear Black, Via Email

Weds: “No. Unfortunately, not being farmers or anything and not knowing how to take care of chickens, he died. We had a little chicken coop at the side of our guitar amps and our drums. It was the summer, we’d go to practice and leave him and he died of heat exhaustion. So I chopped off his legs and made a little memorial for him by hanging them off my guitar but they got ripped off during one gig. Peace Omar.” [Thumps heart emotively.]

Hammer: What benefits are there to having a chicken instead of a normal pet like a cat?

Weds: “None. The reason I got the chicken was cos when I was a kid people always told me that people like Ozzy Osbourne and Alice Cooper used to bite the heads off chickens live on stage and drink their blood. So for me, I’ve always associated chickens with rock’n’ roll. I never wanted to kill the chicken, I just always wanted it to be there. I'd recommend your readers get a cat instead.”

Hammer: But chickens are good for voodoo rituals as well.

Weds: “And for feathers…”

Hammer: Say if you were going to cook a chicken, what recipe would you use?

Weds: “I’m a big fan of Cajun chicken. I bake chicken pretty much every day of my life, except when I’m on tour because you don’t have access to a stove. You put the chicken in the oven and sprinkle it with salt, pepper and spices and cook it until it isn’t pink in the middle - unless you want to get sick.”

WITH ERIK JOINING NAPOLEON BLOWNAPART, BEN IN NOCTURNE, ACEY IN TRASH LIGHT VISION AND JOEY IN SLIPKNOT, IS THERE ANY HOPE FOR THE MURDERDOLLS GETTING BACK TOGETHER?

Decaying Wench, Hell, Third Door On The Left

Weds: “Well, yeah. There’s always hope. Everybody’s doing their own thing. Joey went back to Slipknot and I started doing this so everybody had to find something to do. I can only speak for myself, because I don’t know what the other guys are doing, but I’m putting 100 per cent into this and it is my number one priority, I’m going to tour this record for as long as I want to. But when the time comes right, everybody feels like doing another Murderdolls record and everybody is on the same page, then yeah, I’ll do it. But there’s no way it’ll happen next year.”

Hammer: How has the material off ‘Transylvania 90210’ been going down?

Weds: “Amazing. I was expecting to get raked across the coals but the kids have been digging it and the reviews from the journalists have been really good as well. People are telling me that it’s much more diverse than the Murderdolls; a lot more like a rollercoaster ride and it’s got many different levels to it.”

HEY TUESDAY, DON’T YOU THINK THAT THE MURDERDOLLS SOUNDS LIKE A REALLY BAD GOFF PORN WEBSITE?

Dan, Chiswick

Weds: “I don’t go to goth porn websites and I don’t think it sounds anything like one. Frankenstein Drag Queen sounds more like a goth porn website.”

Hammer: What are your views on pornography?

Weds: “It happens. I don’t find myself ringing lines or going on websites but if that’s what people do and it makes them happy then more power to them. You won’t be finding me turning up in any porn films by the way. Unlike Fred Durst.”

Hammer: He didn’t come out of that looking well.

Weds: “Fred Durst doesn’t come out of anything looking well.”

SAW YOUR TATTOOS IN METAL HAMMER AND WANTED TO KNOW THE TATTOOIST’S NAME?

Chris, South Africa

Weds: “There was this old guy that I used to go to in my home town of Charlotte, North Carolina but the guy pissed me off and I don’t go to him any more. My new guy is called Mark Evans, who did my stitches which are healing up and he did the new Michael Myers tattoo. I don’t promote my old guy because he was a douchebag.”

Hammer: Did you weep like a six year old girl watching ET when you got them done?

Weds: “No. As I was getting them done I was watching Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure so I was laughing. They hurt though. The ones on the wrists, I think I would have been better just chopping my hands off and sewing them back on: it would have hurt less. It was pretty painful.”

AS THE FUTURE PRESIDENT OF KFC, WHICH DO YOU PREFER: POPCORN CHICKEN OR A FAMILY BUCKET?

Cyhiraeth 13, Via Email

Weds: “Family bucket. Popcorn chicken is different here. In America it is actually just what is left over from the other chicken in the bottom of the tray dumped into a bucket. But also the way you guys cut chicken here is totally different. It baffles me, I don’t know what I’m eating. In America you have a leg, a breast, a thigh and a wing. Over here you have a throat, an ass, an elbow…”

Hammer: We don’t have chicken’s elbows.”

Weds: “What the hell am I eating here? It’s all fucking mixed up, I think I had a throat today!”

Hammer: Just say you developed a food intolerance to chicken what would you do then?

Weds: “I’d eat turkey. I’d just move from one bird to another. And turkey’s better for you.”

Hammer: You should try ostrich. Terminator X, the old DJ from Public Enemy, is now an ostrich farmer in the USA, that’s why he doesn’t go on tour with them because someone’s got to stay home and look after the ostriches.

Weds: “I can’t say that I’ve seen a Kentucky Fried Ostrich restaurant yet but when I do I’ll stop by. I fancy a KFO.”

RECENTLY MY MUMMY BROUGHT HOME A BABY CHICK. AS YOU USED TO HAVE A PET CHICKEN, CAN YOU GIVE ME A FEW TIPS ON HOW TO MAKE IT BE QUIET? ITS TWEETING IS DRIVING ME INSANE.

Eddie, London

Weds: “There’s no way to keep them quiet. Keep them out of the heat. Don’t feed them after midnight. They will actually eat anything you put in front of them. They’ll eat chicken, so give your chicken some KFC and watch it become a cannibal.”

IF YOU COULD REMAKE A HORROR MOVIE AND STAR IN IT, WHAT WOULD IT BE AND WHICH CHARACTER WOULD YOU TAKE?

Charlotte Humphreys, Andover

Weds: “Probably The Abominable Dr Phibes and I would be Dr Phibes because he was the master of revenge and it is my favourite Vincent Price movie. He didn’t really even have to talk to be frightening.”

HEY WEDNESDAY, I WAS WONDERING IF YOU MANAGED TO EAT ONE MILLION PIECES OF FRIED CHICKEN IN 2004 LIKE YOU PREDICTED YOU WOULD?

Storm McCracken, Paraparaumu, New Zealand

Weds: “There’s a good possibility, yeah. I lost count along the way but probably. Not this year though because I turned over a new leaf and now I only eat grilled chicken. I’ve been trying to make sure that I don’t have a heart attack before I’m 30.”

Hammer: Speaking as a bit of a tubby bastard, I was wondering how you stay so slim on such a chicken rich diet?

Weds: “It is basically not eating fried chicken. I went on a diet and I lost 40lbs which shows you how bad it can be.”

COULD A REGULAR PERSON KILL A SHEEP WITH JUST ONE PUNCH TO ITS FACE? I DON’T THINK SO.

Ken B Wild, The Fields 

Weds: “Hmmm. It depends on the person. Me? No. I can’t punch a sheep to death but say you’re Tor Johnson from the Ed Wood films, the big guy, he could probably hit a sheep once and break its spine.”

Hammer: I reckon The Thing from The Fantastic Four could waste a sheep.

Weds: “Well, Tor Johnson is probably the closest a human has ever got to being The Thing.

Hammer: What is the biggest creature that you’ve ever killed? Purposefully, that is. Not just forgetting that you’ve left a chicken in a hot room.

Weds: Probably a grasshopper. I don’t hurt animals. When I was a kid I used to do mean stuff but I don’t now. I go out of my way not to hurt stuff.”

DO YOU STILL BELIEVE IN THE EASTER BUNNY?

Goldfinger Rule 502, Via Email

Weds: “Hell yeah! He just came to my house a couple of months ago. He brought my kid a box of candy and $20.”

Hammer: What are your favorite kinds of sweets?

Weds: “I love peanut M&MS. Those things are addictive. I will eat about 10 bags a day if I don’t watch it.”

DEAR WEDNESDAY 13, ARE THINGS STILL TENSE BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR RIVAL THURSDAY 14?

Antibody, Via Email

Weds: “Yeah, we’re still going head to head. One day we’ll meet and slug it out but I will win.”

Hammer: It’s Wednesday the 13th soon, do you do anything out of the ordinary on those days?

Weds: “Not normally but this year we are doing the London show so that should be really remarkable.”

DOES YOUR MOTHER FEEL ASHAMED THAT HER GROWN UP SON FEELS THE NEED TO DRESS LIKE A SPAZZ AND WEAR BAD MAKE-UP?

Eyen, Poshland

Weds: “My mom’s pretty proud of me. She goes out and buys all of the magazines and everything else. She is totally supportive of me and is into what we’re doing.”

WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT BETWEEN A GRIZZLY BEAR AND A SIBERIAN TIGER?

Bobby G, Via Email

Weds: “A grizzly man! You can’t fight a bear! I’ve seen a bear- you can’t fight them.”

Hammer: You saw a bear?

Weds: “On TV. In a zoo. You can’t fight them.”

Hammer: My Chemical Romance got attacked by a moose once. What is the biggest animal you’ve ever been attacked by?

Weds: “I got attacked by a Doberman when I was eight years old. And they can kill you. The dog had cancer and it had this giant tumour on its side and they were going to put it to sleep in a few weeks. But it came up to me while I was on my trampoline and put its legs up and started growling. I was like, ‘Oh shit, what do I do?’ So I decided to try and run down the hill to get home and the dog jumped at me, knocked me down and I ate grass. It never bit me but it stayed right on my ass growling and I just cried all the way home. Which is OK if you’re eight: a Doberman could bite your arm off!”

Hammer: If you say so. Are you nervous about dogs now?

Weds: “I’m not a big dog fan. I like cats and small dogs but big dogs give me the old phobia.”

ISN’T WEDNESDAY A GIRL’S NAME, LIKE THAT BINT OUT OF THE ADDAMS FAMILY? SHOULDN’T YOU BY RIGHTS BE CALLED PUGSLEY 13?

Mr D Monkey, No Fixed Abode

Weds: “Well you know, I don’t have to buy the rights to be named after the day of the week and yeah, I was totally inspired by the character out of The Addams Family, I’ve always admitted that and never tried to hide it. She was always much cooler than Pugsley because he was a little fat guy.”

WHY DON’T YOU HAVE A JASON VOORHEES TATTOO?

War Machine, Via Email

Weds: “It’s in the process. I’m getting Voorhees and Freddie very soon. So gimme some time dude!”

WEDNESDAY, WHY DO YOU SHAVE YOUR EYEBROWS OFF? IT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A PLOPHEAD.

He Man, Reading

Weds: “A plophead? A guy with a plop on his head? What is that? If you mean shit head, say shit head. You know, I shave my eyebrows off for one simple reason: my hair is blond. When my eyebrows grow out they are blond, it just doesn’t look good. I don’t have cool eyebrows, so I shave them off. You can hardly see them anyway. I do notice not having them because of the sweat. If you ever see me on stage squinting like this [scrunches up face as if in agony] that means my eyes are burning out of my fucking head.”

[voxofthevoid]

Shibuya Swap Wednesday #6—once again, we'll be here a while! More than usual, since I'll be splitting my focus between this fic and the April anniversary stories this month.

This fic is now 56k and 10 chapters. Part 2 became longer than expected (shocking and unusual, I know) because I keep having to pause the porn for plausibility. Turns out plucking Yuuji from the middle of his Gojou-rescue mission to put him in the middle of a Gojou-fucking mission won't work out without some proper reassurance.

"Is this really alright?”

Satoru tilts his head to the side. “Why wouldn’t it be? Don’t tell me you’re saving yourself for someone.”

“No,” Yuuji sighs, using his newly freed hand to rub his forehead, briefly covering his eyes. It’s not as soothing as he hoped. “It’s Gojou-sensei. I know you said the other me will help him, but…how are you sure?”

“I’m not,” Satoru says simply, shrugging when Yuuji glares up at him. “But if you’re here, he must be there in your world. Jujutsu is all about balance. Cursed energy craves it, demands it. It’s not just a reasonable assumption, it’s the only one that fits. And as long as Yuuji’s there, no one is touching your precious sensei. Well, Yuuji might touch him.” Satoru’s expression darkens suddenly, but it returns to normal—if anything about those bright eyes and mean mouth can be called normal—just as fast. “But that’s fine! I get to pop your cherry. Balance in all things. Or maybe I’m the winning party here…”

“Please stop talking,” Yuuji says dazedly, drowning in a fresh flood of filthy images.

“Sure,” comes the suspiciously easy agreement. “If you give me something better to do with my mouth.”

“Satoru-san!”

“You’re really cute.” Satoru leans down, startling Yuuji with a quicksilver kiss that makes his whole body thrum. “Think of it this way—there’s nothing you can do. This isn’t a technique or curse. None of us did this. Strange shit happens when cursed energy is involved, but not all of it needs sorcerer intervention. We’ll give it a day or two, and if you’re still here, I’ll brave the higher-ups for you.”

“Oh.” Yuuji didn’t think of that. How he got here still makes no sense to him, but he’s used to that; he’s not used to Gojou also not knowing the answers. “Is that safe? The execution, isn’t it—”

“There will be no execution.”

Yuuji’s mouth clicks shut, the words withering in his throat at that tone. He didn’t think about that either—his counterpart here being alive, clearly an adult but very much alive.

My Yuuji ate him up ages ago, Satoru said. Yuuji didn’t think about that. He doesn’t want to think about that.

“They won’t be happy, and I’d rather avoid involving them,” Satoru says, and Yuuji focuses on him, thankful for the distraction. “But if it comes to that, I’ll protect you, Yuuji!”

“Thanks.” And Yuuji means it, but— “You look way too happy about that though.”

“I’ve never had to protect Yuuji before,” Satoru tells him, still weirdly cheerful. “It’ll be fun! Anyway, are you done worrying?”

“I guess so. As long as Gojou-sensei will be okay, I don’t really care what happens to me.”

Satoru goes strangely still, even his eyes seeming to freeze. “Huh.”

“What?” Yuuji asks warily.

“You really are Yuuji.”

“Of course I am. You know that.”

“You keep proving it.” Satoru shakes his head and straightens up, smiling a really weird smile. Yuuji’s focus is torn between that and the shifting pressure on the quickly congealing mess in his pants.

“Satoru-san, get off—”

He does, almost before Yuuji’s finished speaking, but only to settle between Yuuji’s legs instead, spreading his thighs wider and—

Yuuji shivers as he’s unzipped and exposed, his messy dick extracted by nimble fingers.

“You did make such a mess.” Satoru licks his lips. “Don’t worry, I’ll clean you up.”

Yuuji’s inexperienced, not an idiot; he knows what’s coming. The wet pink of Satoru’s tongue still catches him off guard.

“Satoru-san,” he gasps, jolting at the teasing lick to the tip of his cock. “That’s so—”

—dirty, he wants to say, and it is, it’s absolutely filthy, the way Satoru’s tongue flattens itself along Yuuji’s cock, covering nearly half of its limp length, but the word gets stuck in his throat with the rest of his breath, and then Satoru’s lapping in earnest, cleaning Yuuji up with sloppy strokes of his tongue. Each one is a lash of heat, bolting from Yuuji’s dick to his spine. Almost too much with how sensitive he is but too good to pull away from, especially when he can see how pretty Satoru’s mouth looks licking him clean. His lips are wet and plump, their pink brighter somehow, and his tongue is obscene, running along the length of Yuuji’s dick, gathering the mess there to swallow it all. It prods at the foreskin, playing with it before lapping at the mess under it.

All of it makes Yuuji’s guts squirm and spine writhe. He has to flatten himself to the mattress to keep himself still; if he starts moving, he won’t stop, and he doesn’t know what he’ll do then. He doesn’t even know what he wants to do. Satoru’s dirty mouth is spilling filth into his flesh, and it’s not the kind of corruption Yuuji’s used to.

Shadowed blue eyes flicker up, as if Satoru’s heard Yuuji’s thoughts, and Yuuji’s lost the second he meets them, unable to look away as Satoru licks him wet and sloppy from root to tip and pulls back a few inches, Yuuji’s still-soft cock now nestled on his palm. Satoru breaks eye contact to stare down at it, a corner of his mouth lifting. It’s not a nice expression, but it’s fond. Yuuji doesn’t know what to do with that. He just can’t look away.

His breath freezes in his lungs as Satoru lowers his head again, guiding Yuuji’s cock into his mouth. It’s an easy fit, the circle of Satoru’s lips meeting the unruly hair at Yuuji’s groin. A rough exhale heats the skin there. Satoru hums softly, and the sound claws at Yuuji’s dick.

“Shit,” Yuuji groans, shuddering all over, and he can’t help reaching out, fisting a hand in Satoru’s hair. It feels like crushing silk. “Satoru-san, that feels…”

Satoru’s eyes dart to Yuuji’s face again and stay there, as motionless as his mouth. It’s the wrong kind of distraction, somehow making Yuuji more aware of how the entire length of his cock is cradled on Satoru’s tongue. It’s hot, the slick muscle under his cock and the damp air all around it. There’s spit pooling in Satoru’s mouth, making another kind of mess on Yuuji’s cock.

The heat in his body has sweetened, losing the too-sharp bite of oversensitivity. If Satoru keeps it up, Yuuji will—

Satoru hums again, and this time, he sucks too, cheeks hollowing and tongue flexing.

Yuuji’s back shudders into a painful arch, his hips shoving up into Satoru’s mouth. There’s no room for it, nothing for him to take. Satoru’s mouth is already flush with his groin, every centimeter of Yuuji’s cock sealed in his mouth. It still feels like something, how he’s holding Satoru’s mouth there and straining to crawl deeper into him. When Yuuji looks down, Satoru’s eyes are fully closed and his features are slack; he looks so content.

“Satoru-san,” Yuuji chokes out.

Another hum, another second of suction.

Yuuji’s thighs flinch closer to Satoru’s head, but before they can trap it there, he rises, letting Yuuji’s cock slide out of his mouth inch by agonizing inch. His tongue’s busy the whole time, moving against the underside and finally swirling around the head, as wet as the spit gleaming on Yuuji’s cock.

“There,” Satoru murmurs, a hoarse edge to his voice. “All clean.”

Yuuji just whines.

Satoru seems to like that, his expression growing smug. He straightens up, rolling his neck and shoulders, and Yuuji knows the movements are exaggerated, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t admire the way those muscles move under all that pretty skin.

“If that’s the last of your…concerns,” Satoru drawls, “shall we continue?”

A thread of exasperation cuts through helpless admiration. “Are you actually asking?”

“No,” Satoru admits cheerfully. “Get up.”

Yuuji sighs and pushes himself into a sitting position. Satoru’s kneeling now, no longer sitting on his own calves. Like this, he towers over Yuuji, whose face is level with Satoru’s chest. Yuuji tries not to stop breathing. After everything that just happened, he really shouldn’t be flustered by all that naked skin being within mouth’s reach.

He tentatively raises his hands to Satoru’s hips, earning himself an approving him.

“Keep going,” Satoru demands.

Yuuji blinks up at him. “Where?”

Satoru rolls his eyes. “What kind of a teenager are you?”

“I’m sorry,” Yuuji says drily. “It’s not like I watch porn with caged-up dicks in it.”

“A very serious gap in your education, clearly.” Satoru nods to himself. “I’ll fix that.”

Yuuji buries his face in Satoru’s chest. It fails to muffle his laughter much, but it feels good, pressing his face into that welcoming flesh. Satoru’s pecs are prettily defined, but the skin layering them is soft and yielding. Yuuji rubs his face against it, turning his head to feel it on his cheek. The nipple poking him is new and a little weird, but not in a bad way.

A heavy hand lands in his hair, ruffling it roughly. “Focus, you pervert.”

“You’re the pervert,” Yuuji mutters, but he looks up, digging his chin into Satoru’s chest. “I still don’t know what you want me to do.”

Satoru’s expression twists into incredulity. “Are you for real right now? My ass, Yuuji. Touch my fucking ass so you can fucking fuck me.”

“Oh…” Yuuji’s brain sputters, blinking out of existence for a moment. When it comes back, his whole body’s burning. “I can do that? I can do that.”

Satoru snorts. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

[anticomedygarden]

wolf

-

tw: blood and injury

sequel

-

"Fuck, fuck, motherfucking christ, jesus, fuck," Sirius muttered as he tore off his steaming shirt and pants and tried to ignore the frankly disturbing sounds coming from outside.

The young man had just gotten home after a 16-hour shift at the hospital, and he was not in the fucking mood. As soon as he'd gotten home, he sped through a shower, changed into pajamas, and heated up some leftover soup James had sent with him last weekend, and all he wanted was to eat and watch some mindless TV, and that was exactly what he had been about to do, at least until something made a loud crashing sound outside, and he flinched so badly that he spilled his hot soup all over himself. 

Now his thighs and stomach were burning, his clothes were unwearable, the couch was ruined, there was soup everywhere, and some-animal-or something was probably dying from blunt force trauma in his front yard. Fuck.

He sighed and walked into the laundry room. Doctors didn’t need sleep, right?

Once he found a shirt and old football shorts good enough for his own front yard at 5:30 in the morning on a Wednesday, the strange noises had mostly stopped, and Sirius deemed it safe enough to venture outside. After all, if he didn't, one of his neighbors would, and that could only result in a call from the commonhold.

Walking toward the front door, he wondered idly if the sun was out yet. As an ER doctor who often worked overtime, he missed the sunrise and sunset most days, and his thick curtains rarely let any light in, a so far unsuccessful strategy to combat his insomnia.

The sun was not out. It was dark as fuck. He tripped on a rock.

"I hope you're happy with yourself," he muttered, even as he clearly saw absolutely nothing in the yard. Groaning, he walked around to the side of the house and stopped short.

There was trash everywhere. The garbage bins were completely overturned, old food was strewn across the lawn, and the bin lids had rolled into the neighbor's property. Christ, this would take hours to clean up.

Just as he was setting the lids back on his side of the property line, he heard a thud and a low moan.

With one last mournful look at his front door, Sirius traipsed into the backyard, and got his third shock of the morning.

A massive grey wolf was laying sprawled out in his bushes, blood from a dozen wounds leaking sluggishly into the dirt. Immediately, Sirius snapped into ER mode. 

First, he ran his hand along the inside of the animal’s inner thigh until he found a pulse - slow, but definitely there. Then, he checked quickly for any head, neck, or back injuries, and finding none, carefully lifted the thing in his arms, wincing at the feeling of blood on his bare skin. He stumbled to the back door, staggering under the weight of the easily 200 lb canine. The door swung open easily which meant he forgot to lock it again, but within two minutes, Sirius was setting the wolf down on the cement floor of his basement. 

Next, he ran upstairs and grabbed his emergency medical bag and ran back downstairs, then ran back upstairs when he remembered that wounds on dogs should be cleaned with water, not disinfectant, and got several wet towels. 

When he made it back downstairs, he quickly knelt and started taking stock of the injuries. They all seemed to be surface level claw marks with what looked like large bite marks here and there, nothing deep but several long and still bleeding. 

“All right, bud, I’m gonna start cleaning some of these scratches,” Sirius told the dog, a habit he’d picked from one of his instructors. The wolf didn’t give any sign of awareness, not even when he touched the wet cloth to the biggest scratch on the animal’s back. “Something really got you good, huh, buddy?” 

He continued cleaning the wounds and eventually moved onto bandages until the wolf’s whole abdomen as well as a hind leg were all wrapped up. Sirius would still have to get the animal seen by a vet, but for now, it would do. 

He moved to stand but stopped when the wolf gave an absolutely pitiful whine and turned its snout toward Sirius. It whined again. 

“Hey, buddy,” he whispered, rubbing the animal behind the ears. “Good morning.”

Suddenly, the animal’s eyes opened wide, revealing beautiful amber orbs, and the thing fucking screamed. Horrified, Sirius fell backward, and there was nothing he could do but watch as the wolf writhed on the floor, and, as if that wasn’t enough, its fur started disappearing, pulled back into what looked like golden-tan human skin. The elongated snout retreated to form a normal human nose, the ears shrank, leading into matted light brown curls, and the clawed paws turned into human hands, stained with blood, and then Sirius was looking at a fully grown human man. 

“What the fuck?”

-

word count: 843 @wolfstarmicrofic

[grapenehifics]

Countdown to Chapter One!

My fellow Obikins: I am very, VERY excited to share my next fic with you. Some of you may remember a fic of mine called An Uncivil War, the first chapter of which I posted on AO3 almost exactly a year ago, in May of 2023, and wrapped up that July. At the time, I mentioned to a number of people in the comments that I was already partway through the sequel (An Uncivil War is listed as part one of a three-part series, Can't Stop the Suns), and that I hoped to have Part II ready to go by end of 2023.

Well, that obviously didn't happen. I started looking at February 2024. That didn't happen either. I pushed it to April. April has come and gone. May, though! May I am going to make happen! May 27th, 2024, to be exact. Chapter one of Pick Up the Pieces, a.k.a. part 2 of Can't Stop the Suns, a.k.a. the sequel to An Uncivil War, a.k.a. the thing I have been writing on and off for more than three years now, is going up on AO3. (Excerpt and way more ramblings below the cut.)

A) I wanted to make this announcement in advance because I'm just really excited to share this fic. Parts of it I've posted on Tumblr as WIP Wednesdays, but most of it I've tried to keep under wraps until it's ready and, frankly, I really want to talk about it!

B) @palfriendpatine66 specifically asked for a heads-up before I started posting, but I figured I'd share publicly in case anyone else has the same desire to read (or re-read) part one before starting part two. May 27th is the day!

I do want to say, though - prior knowledge of An Uncivil War is NOT required to understand or enjoy this fic. If you haven't read An Uncivil War, I would really love it if you did! I'm enormously proud of it and love, love, love talking about it. But I also don't want anyone to not give Pick Up the Pieces a try, assuming they were otherwise interested, because they're worried they won't understand what's going on. If you want to jump in, make sure you read the tags and the summary, and by the time you get to chapter three you should have a pretty good grounding in what happened previously. Obviously there are some little details here and there you'll miss but for the most part you should be okay. I did try to make it as accessible as possible.

C) Thirdly - mostly as a reward for reading this far - I thought it would be fun, over the next three Wednesdays, to give a sneak peek of one of the later chapters, because I've really missed doing regular WIP Wednesdays for this fic (for the aforementioned secrecy reasons).

The main part of the fic is set during what would have been the final year of the Clone Wars, except we take a departure from canon during the season 5 episode The Wrong Jedi and diverge off-course from there. Mixed in with that, though, are flashback chapters, covering some portion of Anakin's years as Obi-Wan's Padawan, which have just been a blast to write. They go in roughly chronological order, and this one in particular is set when Anakin is 17. I'll post a little bit today, the next part a week from today, the final section the week after that, and then you'll get the rest of it when chapter ten goes up in the actual fic :)

Chapter Ten preview starts below:

“Uh…” Anakin looked down at his cards and bit his lip. “Hit me?” he asked tentatively. The three other players around the table blinked slowly back at him. He reached out and flipped the top card of the table deck over, letting the rest of the players see it. “Damnit,” he hissed through his teeth.

“Tough luck, boy,” boomed the Besalisk on Anakin’s right, the one he was most worried about getting a peek at his cards. “That makes twenty-two.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Anakin snapped, frustrated. He tossed his cards face-down in front of him. “Don’t remind me.”

Anakin was losing, and quite badly at that. He really needed to slow down and stop the bleeding or Obi-Wan was going to catch him not only gambling, but totally out of credits, too, and he would not be happy about it.

“I’m going to take a break,” Anakin said suddenly, standing up so quickly his chair squeaked. “I’ll sit out this round. Be right back.” He scooped the (very meager) pile of credits he had left to his name into his hand and pocketed them before walking away. What he really wanted to do was take a quick minute to check the chronometer strapped to his wrist without any of them seeing him do it, but needing to take a walk was as good an excuse as any.

He didn’t leave the Castle (Takodana was a little too humid for Anakin’s liking), just took a slow lap around the edges of it, checking out the other gambling tables, the billiards games, the tourists, the regulars, the spacers, the spice runners, the spice addicts, the smugglers. The people who, if he hadn’t become a Jedi, probably would have been his friends and his enemies, his rivals, his contemporaries. His lovers, maybe.

The lower levels of Takodana Castle had once been an ancient Jedi temple, a fact Obi-Wan had mentioned rather a few more times than strictly necessary on their trip over from Coruscant. It had been built on the site of an even more ancient battleground, where Jedi and Sith had fought one another centuries – maybe a millennia – ago. The Jedi had won, that time, and built the original Takodana Temple as a kind of memorial. Anakin let the tips of his fingers trail over the wet, warm stone walls as he walked, feeling to see if he could catch any whispers of the old voices. Old hurts, old betrayals, old war wounds…

He had started doing this thing, about a year or so back. He had discovered, largely by accident (not that Jedi were supposed to believe in accidents, just The Will of the Force, and all that), that he could, rather paradoxically, up the ante on his meditation skills by upping the ante on his distractions. He’d been filling in for Obi-Wan, who was supposed to have been taking a turn sitting in with a group of the youngest Younglings but had been called away at the last minute (or so he had said, at least; Anakin still wasn’t totally sure he believed him). Anakin had tried to keep to the Younglings’ schedule, which included a quarter of an hour of daily mandated meditation time. Younglings not being particularly good at meditation (they were worse at it than Anakin was, which was really saying something), they’d lasted only about half that time before starting to get fidgety. It had started small – a few coughs here and there, a couple of giggles, wiggling on their mats – and then had progressed from there to full-blown chaos. Anakin was supposed to be setting an example, though, and was determined to sit still, keep his eyes closed, and ignore everything that wasn’t an outright cry for medical attention until the allotted time was up.

What he had found, though, was that it was actually one of his better meditation sessions. The noisier the room got, the more relaxed Anakin got. He’d eventually opened his eyes to find one Youngling on his lap, another chewing on his Padawan braid, and a third hanging from the ceiling rafters, but had felt…calm and at peace and a little floaty, but also grounded, connected to the Force, the air, even the children. He’d asked Obi-Wan about it later that night over dinner. Obi-Wan had suggested they meditate over it, which made Anakin roll his eyes because he already had meditated today, that was the whole thing he wanted to talk to Obi-Wan about, and how much meditation did a person need every day, really? But after they ate he’d dutifully sat down across from Obi-Wan and closed his eyes anyway. Obi-Wan had reached out and taken Anakin’s hands in his, which almost made up for the double meditation session. (Almost.)

And then, just as Anakin was starting to settle into something resembling regulating his breathing, something hard and poky had slammed into the side of his head.

“Ow!” he’d said, reflexively, and opened his eyes. Obi-Wan’s datapad was lying on the floor beside him. Obi-Wan himself was still sitting serenely, holding Anakin’s hands.

“What the kriff did you do that for?” Anakin demanded.

“I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan had said, without opening his eyes, “I thought you said you liked having distractions while you meditated.”

“Not painful ones!” Anakin shot back.

“Apologies.” The holopad, from the floor, flicked on and started replaying whatever the last thing either of them had watched on it, which happened to be a nature documentary about tee-muss. “Is that better?”

Anakin grumbled about it, but he had, sort of, asked for this, and admitting defeat now would be both embarrassing and would necessitate him letting go of Obi-Wan’s hands, so he closed his eyes and tried again.

Of course, the first thing he had to do was release the pain in his head into the Force, but once he’d done that, he found that, once again, sifting through his distractions was easier when he actually had distractions to sift through. He let the migratory patterns of wild tee-muss go, and felt Obi-Wan squeeze his hands. “Good, Anakin,” he murmured softly, so quietly Anakin almost couldn’t hear him over the documentary narrator. “That’s very good.” (Anakin had replayed the moment in his head, putting that voice of Obi-Wan’s into different and much more…naked contexts, so many times since then that he could get hard just thinking about it, now.)

So Anakin had started to experiment, on and off. He turned the holoprojector on in their rooms while he was meditating. He sat in the corner of the refectory and meditated during mealtimes. Once, he tried meditating during galactic history class, but his teacher had ratted him out to Obi-Wan and Obi-Wan had told him not to do that anymore. And, now, he wanted to see if he could do it while inside Takodana Castle on a bustling summer afternoon.

To be continued next Wednesday!