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heyitsyn · 4 years ago

Text

Complicated

Shirabu x Reader

a/n: im not very familiar with shirabu on a spiritual level like i am w the other characters but ill try my best!!

request: okok haikyuu hcs: shirabu is reader’s childhood best friend and messed up their last game in middle school because he changed his setting style to accommodate ushijima,,, and reader, as the manager is very very pissed and they get into a huge fight,,, so once they get to stz they’re academic rivals, reader became the vbc manager just to spite him (oh yea they definitely still have crushes on each other but it’s hard with the current situation) only if it’s ok!! not a lot of ppl write for him :

this is kinda the best friends-to-rivals-to-friends again-to-lovers

requests open!!

lets get our inhalers bc this finna be a wild one luvs

so, basically,

you and him were actually childhood friends since he lived next door to you

lets say you met when you were 5 and you just stuck on to this slightly cold and dismissive boy who was the shy type

idk bout you but i actually like that type

ppl dont really understand how yall got along bc you were the extrovert and the laughing type of girl

he only stuck around bc you were actually a smart person who helped him occassionally w your organized notes

but he still appreciates your time and efforts to be his friend despite his personality

plus, you also liked volleyball and together you both would watch volleyball matches in his house where you would see him with a smile that he unconsciously wears

like when yall were 8, you gave him a volleyball for his birthday since he lost his old one when he was playing by the river

at first, he was like, ‘oh, thanks, i needed this’

but then as he started tossing it up and down, you could see that bashful smile starting to surface

you shrieked,

bc you rarely see it and you think its super cute,

and just wrap him up in a hug and he turns all shy again but with a soft smile and a soft blush

‘thanks, n/n-chan’

uh oh, feelings

stinky

since he mainly focused on doing homework or studying, not a whole lot of kids really approached him to hang out since they thought he only lived to study and play volleyball

but you didnt care bc youve been friends w this bun for a long time and you know hes not really like that

he has fun moments too

since you were the manager of the volleyball team, you always try to showcase how fun he was by trying to take the team to bonding places

the team does think that shirabu has fun but only if its w you

anyways

one afternoon, you naturally just go to his house w him since your mothers know youre practically best friends and so you basically live in each others houses

yall were about halfway through middle school so shirabu has been studying more to get scholarships for schools

he was studying on the little table while leaning against his bed while you were just lounging on his bed after studying

‘ken-channnnn’

oikawa 2.0

‘hm’

you pouted at the distracted reply before sitting up and wrapping your arms around his shoulder from behind him and placing your chin on his shoulder

‘lets do something fun!!!! im boredddd’

he wasnt really fazed by the skinship bc youve been like that to him since day 1

but thats going to change soon

‘i have a new sudoku book over there that you could do’

omg what

‘ken-chan!’

you shrieked in betrayal before leaping off the bed and grabbing his arm to stand him up

shirabu was actually annoyed that you were distracting his studying but seeing a wide grin on your face made him double stop

am i,,,, catching feelings?

nah, he just going through puberty

‘lets go to the fall market! yuki-chan told me theres a new food place that opened and theyre handing out free samples!’

you excitedly told him and continued shaking his arm to persuade him in going

‘n/n-chan, this is my only free day from volleyball to study. i need to pass the test on friday’

you rolled your eyes at that lame excuse

‘i know. i set up the schedule differently bc you have a big test on friday! but you would still have time to study!’

‘but im still unfamilair with the topic-’

‘cmon, ken-chan! youre so smart you could rival buddha!’

‘i dont think,,,,, thats a right comparison’

‘either way, we’re going to hang out and have fun!’

he honestly didnt know why he was at this crowded market w you

shirabu is a whole simp

‘omg ken-chan! look! takoyaki!’

you dragged him to the stall and the nice old lady smiled before taking your order

‘1 box please. ken-chan, you want?’

he shook his head no and started taking out his wallet to pay

but you stopped him

‘no, you dont have to pay since youre not eating’

‘but i want to’

‘ken-chan! you need to save up for college!’

‘no its fine im pay-’

‘here ya go, dear. free of charge’

you both stopped at the nice lady’s sentence

‘b-but’

‘no it’s okay. its cute to find a boy who’s willing to pay for his girl since that doesnt really happen nowadays. i hope you have a great rest of your date!’

‘it’s not a da-’

‘thank you, maam’

shirabu takes the box and leads you out of there

you smirk and poke his tummy

‘you want to go on a date with me, ken-chan~?’

he turns red and looks away

‘no. it wouldve taken longer to fully explain the situation so just go along with it to make it faster’

you giggled

‘hm sounds fake but okay’

you both continue to walk around the market and even buy a few things like a mini buddha statue or a pair of cat ears for both of you

with everything you bought, shirabu payed with it all

you were pouting as you walked and he noticed so he nudged you with his elbow

‘oi, what’s wrong?’

you crossed your arms

‘hm.. i dont like that ken-chan is buying and spending money for me on things that symbolize our fun. i want to give ken-chan something to remember this day too!’

shirabu grows flustered but hes really confused

youve always been a thoughtful person who tries to be independent but unconsciously ends up depending on others like him

but your thoughts of wanting to do something in return for him just sounds like heaven right now

lmao what a simp

he looks around for a place that could have something that sparked his interest but nothing caught his eye

until he caught a photo booth by the corner

‘oi, n/n-chan, let’s go there’

you followed his finger and you gasped

‘thats perfect, ken-chan! let’s go!’

you drag him to the booth and you giddily enter the coins for the machine to start

but he was starting to think this wasnt a good idea

he was in a cramp space with you pressed against him

but youve always been glomped to his side since yall were kids so what was the difference now?

bc you catching feelings, fool!

‘ken-chan! its starting!’

he finally snaps out of his flustered state and he raises a peace sign with a smile

with all the pictures, there were funny pictures of you and him,

well mainly you

but he was happy to have them w you

‘ken-chan, you know i love you, but when will you fix your hair?’

he glared at you

‘i like it so its staying that way’

you giggled at his attitude

‘okay, ken-chan. at least it would make you stand out in the crowd so i dont have to look for you!’

you hugged his waist and he froze up, suddenly feeling awkward with this familiar position

its okay, shes naturally like this so calm down

dontcrydontcrydontcrydontcry

after your hang out, he didnt even bother going back to studying

he just laid on his bed, looking at the strip of pictures with a fond smile

he was happy that you only showed that true, bright, happy grin to him

it was only for him

and he only showed his to you

bc you were you and you were the greatest thing, next to his parents, that he has in his life

omg that thought

he freezes and the picture falls on his face at that realization

omg, does he like you?

youre a great friend and his best friend and he wants to be your friend forever

but then, he realizes

youd separate one day and youd have a boyfriend and get married and have a family without him

no, he wasnt going to let that happen

he didnt like that thought

and thus, began his crush for you

and you were the same thing too but you noticed it later than him

oof, when this one girl confessed to him at the back of the school, you cried to him when yall got home

‘when ken-chan has a girlfriend, he wont hang out with me anymore! hes not going to be my friend anymore!’

it took some reassurance from him and more from your mom, when you got home, to realize that you liked your best friend

and thus began the skinny love stage

the whole volley team knew of your pining and tbh, they thought yall were dating but you were just like, nah, we friends

if anyone were to look at you, they would think the same thing

but ofc, yall are insecure hormonal teenagers who think that the other doesnt like them and if they confess, they would be rejected and that would ruin their friendship and they would not be friends anymore and they dont think they could handle that so its better to keep the feelings hidden and remain friends bc if theyre happy, theyre happy

oml my entire love life

this continued on until the last year of middle school

bc not only do you suddenly stop being friends, you became rivals

so as volleyball manager, you helped the team with whatever they needed in return of them doing their absolute best and winning the game

the last game of the year, you were slightly confused at the way shirabu was playing bc it wasnt the normal way he sets

before, his sets were so good that he could give it to any player and they would spike perfectly

but now, it was so different due to the simple, almost lazy, and very high tosses

the team was slightly irritated bc they couldnt keep up with the high tosses so they couldnt hit it

in between the sets, during break, you pulled him aside as you wiped off his sweat

‘ken-chan, youre not setting properly to the others. theyre getting angry because it doesnt allow them to spike right.’

he glares at you, with almost manic eyes

‘its their fault for not being able to jump high enough. in order to get a point, the ace must get a high toss to aim a quick spike’

‘but theyre not able to jump that high, ken-chan!’

you whispered, worried that he was going too intense and they would lose the game

all the hard-work the others put in, all to waste

‘i dont care. i must start early and change early so ushijima could hit my sets in the future’

‘but they’re not ushijima, kenjiro!’

you whisper-yelled

‘right now, theres no ushijima, no oikawa, its just you and the team. your team’

he was shook that you used his first name and the way you were actually telling him off

youve never been like that before

but he was blinded by his goal in the future

‘why is he our ace if he couldnt even hit tosses meant for an ace?’

‘because hes not the ace you’re hoping him to be!’

‘kenjiro, listen to me, these boys have worked their asses off for years to even come close to playing against seijoh or shiratorizawa. im going to do everything i can to make that happen and im not going to let them lose just bc you are too busy focusing on the future rather than the present’

with the way he looked at you, you really thought he would listen to you and play the way his team needs him to play

but no, he played the way he thought ushijima needed him to play

in the end, due to the foreign and unfamiliar tosses, they were unable to hit as much points causing them to lose

you could never forget the looks on your fellow classmates, who were also going to graduate this year, as they watched the ball that shirabu tossed, hit the floor right next to them

to say you were pissed was an understatement

you were F U R I O U S ™

you held the hands of the first years as they were devastated at their first loss

but you caught the eye of your ‘friend’ and he was biting his lip in irritation and anger

as your team was walking to their locker room to get changed, you pulled shirabu aside

‘what the hell’

he stared at you

‘we lost. we lost bc they couldnt keep up’

‘kenjiro! are you not listening to yourself?! you lost because you couldnt accept the fact that your teammates arent ushijima wakatoshi! you couldnt accept the fact that they’re not tall enough! strong enough! ace-like enough! and for what?! for the future?! the future where you’re going to set for someone like ushijima?!’

‘i vowed to set for a player like him, y/n! i want to toss a ball to someone as powerful and as talented as him! thats a promise i intend to keep’

you were dumbfounded

he was acting on his own reasons and selfish intent, even costing them a game, for his preparation in the future

‘i cannot believe you right now. i didnt know you were so selfish, shirabu. of all the years i knew you, you were never like this. so what changed?’

at the almost betrayed look on your face hurt him bc weren’t you always there to help him? to support him? wasnt that the reason you became a manager in the first place?

‘you dont understand, y/n. i need to change the way i play now because it will greatly benefit me in the future’

honestly, you didnt even know why you were so angry about this

sure, it was volleyball and it was just a game

you had high school to win it again

but maybe it was the fact that he wasn’t being the shirabu you knew

the ken-chan you grew up with and harbored feelings for for years

he was turning to someone that worked not for himself, but for some guy he has never even spoken to

you blinked away the tears and looked off the side, away from his face

‘right. the future. yanno, if youre already like this, i dread to think about how you would act once you get that goal of yours. but i know one thing. im not going to be there to see it happen’

god that last sentence

he felt a piece of his world crumble bc were you saying goodbye? were you leaving him?

‘i cant see you torture yourself into changing into a new person, kenjiro. so good luck finding someone who can’

‘oh yea? well, i dont need you! i’ll be perfectly fine on my own and find someone better than you! youre easily replacable!’

that was a big booboo love

that fight costed him more than a decade of friendship and a few years of love

despite living so closely together, you refused to even acknowledge him and when your parents got together, you’d find some way to be out ofthe house or you’d lock yourself in your room

he tried many times to get to you and even cried to you, begging to not leave him

but you willed strong and you left him alone

omg she handled this so bad and i cant w puberting teenagers

eventually, he got tired of chasing you and was now angry at you for picking a team of people youve only met for a few years over him who’s been there for you since you were 5

he was betrayed, cold, and sad

however,

without each other to be there, you both studied even harder and eventually, you were both able to get into shiratorizawa

initially, you wanted nothing to do w that school since you knew kenjiro was going to be in it and that bastard ushijima wakatoshi was too

um,,, babygurl ushi did nothing to you

but your mother really wanted you to go to a nice school since she wanted you to go to a nice college

since yall werent friends anymore, he didnt know you wouldn’t be in shiratorizawa

so imagine his surprise when he saw you entering his class with the girls uniform on and a completely new hairstyle and hair color and were you wearing makeup?!

lmao she acting like they broke up

anyways, all he knows, is that boys were already looking at you and vying for attention and dear god, he didnt know how to handle that

for the first month of school, youd think you would just be ignoring each other like you did back in middle school

but nope!

somehow, yall were now talking again!

except it was a mean type of talking

you see, shirabu studied as much as he breathed and you were just a naturally smart sister who didnt study as much

but you still were able to make it to the top and currently, you were the 1st in your entire class

‘ara ara? 1st again? better luck next time, shirabu-kun~’

he glared at you from his seat as you passed by with a smug grin

this fueding is giving me vertigo

‘shut up. at least some of us work for our grades’

that was so weak lmao

but you turned around to blink your eyelashes, slightly mocking him

‘eh? are you saying that i’m naturally gifted? yanno, shirabu-kun, naturally gifted people are much better than those who have to work for it. you play with ushijima-senpai, right? so you’d know the difference between you two.’

bringing up ushijima always pained him but he kept repeating it to himself that he was doing it so that he could go to nationals

sensing his silence as defeat, you waved your hand and went back to conversing w your other friends

this continued on again for a while and he was already sick and tired of it

not only was it beginning to get annoying, it was beginning to hurt

he cornered you at your locker

aaaaa kabedon!!!!!!!

‘listen to me and listen well, y/n’

yessir im listening

‘whatever the hell youre doing, cut it out. youre not going to rile me up anymore and im not going to give you the reactions you want. i dont understand why youre doing this to me but you need to stop before i make you’

ohgodyessir

ngl, that tone of his voice was the lowest youve heard and it made you so red bc that was just hot

but you gulped before grinning wolfishly, hand pressed against his chest and the other snaking around his neck

you pulled him down to your level so you could lean close to his ear

‘now you listen to me and listen well, ken-chan, youre not my best friend anymore so you can no longer tell me what to do, kay?’

shirabu was just flustered at the close proximity between your lips and his ears that he completely missed your warning

he only snapped out of it when you walked away, heading towards your next class

you sat in class that day, wondering how to tease him more

clearly, just words wouldnt make him irritated

gurl why you doing this

and you were stumped until you saw a red-haired looking guy accompanied by a gray-haired looking guy coming up to you

ofc you recognized them from the volley team since you’ve,,,,,,maybe seen a few practices

you thought theyd just pass by but they stopped in front of you and you looked up w wide eyes

‘can,,,, i help you?’

‘wow shes cute!’

the red head shouted and you shrunk under the gazes of these tall men

‘sorry about him. im semi eita, second year’

you shook his hand and you introduced yourself before soon finding out this other guy was tendo satori

‘so what do you need me for?’

‘you see, we’re kinda in need of a manager. and i think its better to have a manager who is close to a player in the team. i apologize to say this but i saw you and shirabu-san by the lockers the other day and i think its best to have his girlfriend as our manager’

‘g-girlfriend?!’

you shrieked, shocked that they thought you were

at this mention, you got a flashback from the festival and you soon turned bright red at the label of you being kenjiro’s girlfriend

‘and youre so cute y/n-chan! i can see what our darling kouhai sees in you!’

‘no, you got it all wrong its-’

then you stopped

omg this was the perfect opportunity

no gurl stop jesus take the wheel

shirabu would hate it if you were a manager bc that would give you more room to tease him

holy

then you smiled

‘i accept, senpais. i want to see my baby in action after all’

they were ecstatic since it was a hassle to find a manager who wasnt infatuated w ushijima

you exchanged contacts and soon, you were brought to meet the team

oh boy when kenjiro saw you at the door, he dropped the ball on his head

what in the hell were you doing here

‘guys, this is our new manager!’

you peeked out from tendo and waved at them

‘hello, my name is l/n y/n, first year. and im glad to be your manager’

noticing shirabu’s shocked form, tendo and semi shared a look and interpreted as, hes so happy that his senpais chose his girlfriend for him so now he could show off and play better and that could hopefully turn his attitude to be more grateful and respectful rather than this dismissive and disrespectful behavior

but shirabu was dying inside

oh god, youre totally going to tease him during practice and hes not going to be at his best and hes not going to be able to prove himself to ushijima

‘oi! shirabu-kun! come be grateful to your senpais for letting your darling girlfriend as our manager!’

‘hey baby!’

omg, what

again, you have a loud and expressive personality so you were kinda shameless so you just ran up and hugged him

aaaaa this is so embarassing wth

‘didnt you miss me? oh, youre so cute!’

god, he knows youre only here to spite him

right on point, good sir

ugh you were practically teasing him as the manager and you were having so much fun making him all flustered

but he was also spiteful

sometimes, he would stick his foot out whenever youd run towards a player and hed laugh at you embarassing yourself in front of them

youd return the favor by accidentally throwing his water bottle at his face

‘oh, gomen, ken-chan’

the entire time, the team was baffled to see the usual stoic and dismissive shirabu so freely laughing and actually teasing you

they think its just for good fun and not the aim of hurting each other since yall are dating and youre just flirting

combined w being academic rivals and now rivals during the team, you both were unintentionally becoming close again

the brutality was slowly simmering to a low heat

and turn the over on at 350 degrees

now, it was just to make each other flustered

the crush that you thought was gone, was slowly digging itself out like the zombies in plants vs zombies

and my god you were annoyed

from now on, you were nothing but rivals and a parasite on his side

him feeling the same

dating would cause too much and the hurtful words would eventually come back up and you concluded that you were just too different

you didnt conclude shit

one time, the team was walking from practice to a nearby convenience store to pick up food

ofc you were picking out a billion foods and you just shoved them all to his arms

‘my darling boyfriend would pay for it because he loves me. ya know what they say, make his pockets hurt’

he glared at you

‘as far as i remember, i wasnt dating a pig’

ngl, that hurt a little bc hes calling you a fattie

but he still went up to pay for it and you intentionally bumped him with your hips to annoy him but it caused him to drop his wallet to fall

and out came his money and that picture

the picture from nearly 3 years ago

you bent down to pick it up before he could even move

god, yall were so happy and young back then

it was awkward silent since you didnt give it back and yall walked out of the store and the team was sensing the weird vibe around you two

‘oi, what happened? its so tense!’

‘did you fight?’

‘did you get caught making out by the aisles?’

‘ong shut up, kai!’

yall kai is a third year senpai that i completely made up since we dont get insight on the senpais before ushijima

but the team noticed the weird aura around you two and decided to walk away to give yall some space

‘can-will you hand it over now?’

shirabu mumbled

you nodded and pushed it in his hands

‘why,,,, why do you still have it?’

‘you gave it to me. of course id still have it’

you were silent before coughing

‘can we talk?’

‘its about time we do’

yall walked away from the team towards your home but were taking weird turns and corners to prolong the walk

you looked up to see him and you laughed

‘this is ridiculous. its not fair’

‘what are you talking about?’

he whispered

‘i was so angry at you for saying that you dont need me and that you could easily find someone better because i knew that and i didnt like it. but i was so hurt that it came from your mouth. out of everyone, i would rather die than hear you say that to me. i think thats why ive been like this. i dont know, im being stupid. i was being stupid.’

he stopped walking and clenched his fist while glaring at the ground

‘you told me you were going to leave me. you were telling me that you wouldnt be friends with me anymore. i had to choose between you or volleyball and i wasnt at the right state of mind at that time so i chose incorrectly’

you noticed him not beside you anymore so you went behind him to rest your forehead on his back so he would see you since he preferred to be honest while not looking at you

‘ken-chan, we messed up big time, didnt we?’

his body shook as he laughed

‘i guess we did’

‘it was only over a game. i was so mean and dramatic and ive called you names and said bad stuff about you and im sorry’

‘im not innocent either. i said those words to you and im sorry’

despite slightly making up now, you both knew those feelings would have to wait because you were only getting each other back

‘can we start over, ken-chan?’

‘you want to?’

‘yes’

‘then we will’

omg the whiplash this is giving me

so yall are finally becoming friends and your families are relieved yall made up again bc wowza those dinners were torturous

‘now that they made up, we can go back to planning their wedding’

‘MOM NO!’

slowly but surely, everything has been going steady and your friendship was getting better

but you didnt admit to the club about everything bc again, shirabu was like, ‘i dont feel like explaining everything’

you both still kept a rivalry but it was friendly this time with cute wagers like treat me to milk bread or banana milk

tOOrU oIKaWA’s fAvoRiTE fOod iS MiLK bREaD

he came over often and studied w you and yall would end up actually just watching a movie or watching brain games, unconsciously cuddled up on the couch

however,

this new closeness was doing damage to your heart bc you were again reminded of how much you liked this boy

initially, you thought it would just go away and never be seen again but it said

sIKe biH!

every time you saw him, youd unconsciously sweep away a stray hair and fix it to his weird crooked style

but whenever you do that, shirabu would get a close view of your face and omg you were freaking beautiful

and thats saying something from a guy who saw you through your awkward phase

hes unconsciously touching you more and showing more affection, even more than when yall were young

just being w you was emotionally exhausting as he holds himself back from doing drastic things but he was over it

he was done with all the years of pining for you so finally found the balls to do something about it

you were over at his place to study for exams and he was coming back up with juice

you were slumped over your calculus textbook with your hair in a bun and glasses on wearing his clothes

god theyre practically dating already

‘ken-chan, come help me with this’

he nods and goes to sit behind you

with his tall height, he was able to look over your shoulder and place his chin on it and tbh, you were so frustrated w the problem you didnt care about the closeness

‘you misplaced a decimal so everything got all wrong’

he mumbled

you gasped and made a noise of agreement before changing your answer

he didnt move though, instead wrapping his arms around yourwaist

‘oi, n/n’

‘hm’

this is a familiar scene

‘wanna go to the market tomorrow?’

at the mention of the market you stopped and leaned back

oh god your heart leapt at the feeling of his chest behind you but you composed quickly

‘should we?’

you turned to gauge his reaction at your closeness but he gently smiled

‘yea’

‘okay’

you havent been back to the market together since that day and it was so nostalgic as you both did the things you did back then

from the takoyaki to the stalls

it was so fun

but your heart was beating so fast

his smiling face and thoroughly enjoyed face was doing palpations in your heart

you looked away to stop staring at him and found the photo booth

‘look, ken-chan! the photo booth!’

he chuckled at the thought

‘should we go get another one?’

‘yes! come on!’

you quickly inserted the money and shirabu had flashbacks

but this time it was going to be different

‘okay lets start!’

the first picture, it was a peace sign

the second one was a wacky one

but the next one, was different

‘oi y/n’

‘what?’

the shutter went off just in time of him kissing you

the bright light caused you to close your eyes and you soon forgot what was happening

all you knew you were kissing ken-chan

your best friend

turned enemy

turned friend again

and now,,, were you lovers?

this rollercoaster is quite loopy

he pulled away and rested his forehead against yours

‘im sorry if-’

‘no balls, do it again’

and this time you lunged back for another

and again, this time, not only did you give him another photo, but you also gave him your heart

la fin.

yall what did i just write

#haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #shirabu #shirabu fluff #shirabu kenjiro x reader #shirabu x reader #shirabu kenjirou #shirabu kenjiro fluff #shirabu imagines #shirabu kenjiro imagines #shiratorizawa x reader #shiratorizawa imagines

314 notes · View notes

neo-shitty · 3 years ago

Note

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

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nad-zeta · 4 years ago

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Match up ~(˘▾˘~)

Hi I’d like an Ikevamp matchup! (This is my first time doing this but oof) i’m a shy(at first) brown(Filipino to be exact) girl that’s a lil on the chubby side, Virgo, messy short hair, 149 cm(short-), and an INFJ T and a Ravenclaw. I’ve also got really fat legs and as much as i like them some dont :”) i like to read books than listen to people read them aloud cuz I’m a visual learner. I like writing bc it helps me get all these ideas out of my head. But i’m really unorganized so i never really finished anything other than a few poems and one horror short story. I enjoy cracking a good joke for anyone to laugh at and am really affectionate with my loved ones. I draw sometimes too but they’re not that good :> so my hobbies are:writing(mainly), drawing. I love learning about new stuff that’s not really included in school bc it’s not one of my biggest priorities to me lmao. I also really like studying whilst listening to music. But unto my dislikes, i really dont like injustice for other people and have this belief in me(i belive everyone is equal). I hate loud noises (eg. rain, or a truck) it messes with me more than my hair lol. I don’t like people insulting me in a more meaningful sense, meaning im not hurt if anyone curses at me but if it’s a little more meaningful then that hits me hard. Most people think im insensitive but i get hurt too ya know. But i always welcome critique even if it doesnt seem so. I flirt sometimes with my friends cuz thats how much i love them ig. I can play the ukulele but im not too fond on playing instruments so i ight sing instead of both. Anyway, i hope that’s enough. Message me if it wasn’t and i’ll add more! Thanks!

Hi hi, love! ❤🥰Thank you so much for the request! Ooooh your first match-up, how exciting! I hope I can live up to your expectations. 🦋🥰☀️Anyways sorry for the long wait and I truly hope you enjoy. Hope you have a super good day!❤🥰 @la-liar

So I match you with…………… Mozart

So the first time the two of you interact, it was basically silence. Both of you cuties were too shy and reserved to speak to each other. That is basically how it was for the first few weeks of your stay at the mansion.

You were rather shy, so you kept mostly to yourself spending all your time in the library, reading and writing. But that all changed one day when you discovered the music room.

You had decided on a whim to explore the mansion a bit and stumbled upon a pristine music room. You made your way inside and smiled as you spotted a ukulele in the corner of the room. You simply couldn’t help yourself, as you picked up the instrument and started to play. Closing your eyes as you played, you started to sing along to the familiar tune.

At that moment, Mozart had walked past his beloved music room. He had stepped out for a moment, only to get himself a freshly brewed cup of hot chocolate before continuing to compose his newest piece. The second he heard the sound of an instrument coming from his beloved music room he sighed internally. He slammed open the door and froze in his tracts when he spotted you sitting on the floor in the corner of the room absorbed by the music you were producing. He had every intention of scolding you, but all that dissipated as the soft, soothing tones of your voice wash over him like a gentle ocean wave. He found himself calm and at peace for once in his life.

Inspired by the tune you were singing, he sat down at the grand piano and started playing along. The second the first note of the piano echoed off the walls of the room you opened your eyes in shock, not realizing someone had come in midway through your song. You profusely apologized to the man and left before he could say anything.

For the rest of the day Mozart was stuck, he couldn’t get that song you were singing out of his head. He was starting to get frustrated as thoughts of you were plaguing his mind. That night he stormed up to your room, took you by the hand and guided you back to the music room where he handed you the ukulele, “Play.” His words were blunt and his violet eyes were sharp and determined. You stared up at the man in confusion as he sat down at the grand piano, waiting for you to start the song. You sighed sitting down next to him on the bench and softly started strumming the strings. Mozart couldn’t keep the faint smile from forming on his face at the sound of the perfect harmony and melody the two of you produced together. Since that night you were the only other person, other than Sebastian permitted to enter into the music room whenever you wanted.

Every day since, you would wander into the room as Mozart would play the soothing melodies. You loved to study while listening to music. So every day you would bring your books to the music room as Mozart played and just sit and read or write, as Mozart’s symphonies would echo in the background. Although the white-haired man would never admit it, he very much enjoyed your company. Unlike the rest of the residents, you were quiet and soft-spoken, and you didn’t irritate him like the rest of his housemates.

Often during the afternoons, when Mozart would take a break from playing, he would walk over the corner of the room that you would occupy and just stare down at you. He would usually in his classical tsundere roundabout way, ask you if you wanted to grab lunch with him. You honestly had to smile at his clumsily blunt tone and the dust of pink that would grace his features.

The two of you would sit under the shade of a tree and chat for hours and hours about the most random of topics. You had quickly come to realize that the brutal way in which Mozart spoke, was just a front to cover up his true feelings. Thus you never minded the meaningless insults that he would occasionally throw your way. Cause they were just that meaningless. If anything, the way he would say them with that slight smile dancing across his lips, they were probably meant as his own type of endearments towards you.

Both of you cuties often get so absorbed in your daydreams that during your lunchtime picnic, that you can be found just staring into space. Mozart’s mind would be occupied with the latest songs that he would like to compose, and your mind would be drifting off, thinking about the latest topic that you have learned about or read. Its actually pretty hilarious, especially when the two of you are at the dinner table and Arthur is chatting away to the two of you, while both of you would be off in dreamland. It’s only when Arthur waves a hand in front of your eyes that both of you come back to reality. During these times, you and Mozart usually lock eyes and laugh, as it had become a somewhat, inside joke between the two of you.

You often flirted with the man, especially after the two of you had started to become friends. You loved the way his cheeks would get dusted in a light pink shade matching his eyes perfectly. And you can’t help but laugh whenever he stutters a little insult in response. Although don’t get me wrong, he is the only person who can give you small insult endearments. Anyone else who dare utter one bad thing about you, will face Mozart’s scorn.

Like one time the two of you went to the bookshop to browse together, when some dodge man came up to you and started telling you that a woman shouldn’t be in a book shop and that the book you were holding was too advanced for you. Cue Mozart practically tearing apart the man with his sharp gaze. Mozart’s voice boomed in the bookshop like a crack of a whip, and by the time he was done giving the man a verbal smackdown, the dodgy fellow couldn’t leave the shop quick enough.

Just then violet eyes met your dark brown ones, as Mozart gave you the most tender look and asked in a soft tone if you were okay. He could see the sadness in your eyes, and he knew even though you put up a tough front, you were also rather sensitive deep down. He gave you a tight hug and kissed your forehead as he told you not to ponder on the man’s hurtful words. “Mein Liebe, don’t let that man’s mindless babble bother you.” He then took you by the hand and lead you to a coffee shop where he bought the two of you some hot chocolate. And the two of you spent the rest of the afternoon chatting away.

It wasn’t clear exactly when you and Mozart transitioned from friendship into a relationship, but regardless you were the only person privileged enough to see this man’s soft side. And boy oh boy was his smile enough to make your heart melt. Mozart is actually a massive softie under his harsh words, and loves to shower you in affection. He knows you hate loud noises, so he is always sure to, take you the town route with the least amount of people and noises. And you best be sure he will be by your side to soothe you in a split second during any type of thunderstorms

He never knew just how much you hated loud noises like thunderstorms until one night. It was the dead of night, and the sky was littered with dark stormy clouds and flashes of lightning. You woke up abruptly to the loud rumble of thunder that followed a flash of light. You let out a loud squeak as you pulled your blanket over your head, in an attempt to block out the noise. By the second flash and roars of thunder, you were on your feet making your way to Mozart’s room.

You gently pushed open the door, when yet another loud crack of thunder and lightning could be heard shaking the mansion’s walls. Mozart had no time to react, as all he heard was the patter of your bare feet on the wooden floor, and then the weight of a warm body diving onto his bed. He cracked open an eye and was shocked to see the expression of dread on your tear-stained face. He wasted no time at all in pulling you beneath the covers into his warm embrace and he pressed your face to his warm chest. He gently traced soothing circles on your back, while he tenderly sang you a soft lullaby to coax you into sleep. The noise of thunder and lightning faded into the background, as you focus on the feeling of Mozart’s fingertips dancing across your skin and his soft, soothing voice.

Since then, at any sign of a storm, Mozart would be sure to drop everything and seek you out. He would usually wrap the two of you in a fluffy blankie, and he just holds you tight in his arms. Sometimes he would play the piano to soothe your anxiety, while other times he will just sing to you.

Mozart absolutely loves your sense of humour, and his stony features will always crack with a slither of a smile whenever you make a joke. Bonus points if you actually get him to laugh. He will legit huff out in laughter, while shyly hiding his face in the crook of your neck as you continue to crack hilarious jokes. Anyone privileged enough to see this rare scene unfolds is very lucky indeed, as Mozart’s smile and laughter is like the sun coming out after a very long stormy week. It is bright and filled with warmth, and reserved for your eyes only.

Even though you have a tendency to never really finish writing, Mozart will insist you show him any of the pieces that you do manage to complete. He loves the way your words flow on paper, and it down right inspires him to write a few songs to accompany your stories. He also beams with pride whenever you draw him a cute little scene on his sheet music. He will be sure to keep that page with your doodle safe for all eternity, cause he just loves them so much.

The two of you cuties are the most affectionate couple around, behind closed doors of course as Mozart might just die from embarrassment if the two of you engage in any sort of PDA. He loves it when you sit beside him and rest your head on his shoulder as he plays you the newest ballad of his love. You are the love of his life, and he will spend every day of his existence loving you. He loves to give you cute little Eskimo and butterfly kisses whenever the two of you meet in the hallway.

You best be sure this man will spend every free moment he can get hugging and cuddling you. Often the two of you cuties will simply be spending a quiet afternoon in the music room together, nestled in each others arms while drinking a warm cup of hot chocolate, listening to the pitter patter of the rain outside.

Other potential matches……………. Dazai

I hope you enjoyed this dear and I hope you have the best day. 🦋☀️❤

#matchups #match ups #ikesen matchup #ikevamp matchup #ikevamp match up #mozart #ikemen vampire mozart #ikevamp mozart #ikevam mozart #Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart #Mozart match up #submission

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ifandomalot · 5 years ago

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This is Love. (1/3)

Summary: Steve is captured by hydra, they use you as a toy for him. A sick game they play. He can't help but notice how much you hate touch, or any kind of human interaction. When his team rescues him, he takes you with him and shows you what love is.

Warnings: unexpected pregnancy eventuality, kidnapping, blood, and unwanted sex by both parties? But it doesn't go to much into detail. But i dont know how to categorize it. This is dark but soft. Also my grammar mistakes.

Part 2 / Part 3 (coming soon)

Steve doesn't remember much, the aching pain against the roundest part of his skull was the only thought manageable. Shaky fingers running over the clumps of blood that matted his hair, stables fusing the gash closed. His eyes take in the room around him, no windows, the only light is small lamp that illuminates the small corner of the room by the bed he currently say up on. The walls are a dull gray, the floor matching, the cement seemed as it ran for miles. A door is on the far right, heavy duty, not even a super solider could break it down.

His tact suit is gone, a plain white t-shirt and a pair of grey sweat pants clad his body, no shoes just a tall pair of socks that bundle against ankles. The throbbing inside his skull seems like the worst of his worries as his eyes scan the room, no way out. The small camera in the corner follows his every move. "Whoever you are, you've made a mistake."

Thick arms across against his swollen chest in dominace, trying to assert some kind of fear into the situation. It's no use, no one is there or obviously cares enough to call a bluff. A small stack of books are next to the sink, fingers run down the ridged brindle of the book, noticing the german writing. Hydra.

Steve's face moves in frustration, body growing taller as he realizes the situation, hydra had finally managed to do it, they got him. A small growl rumbles deep inside the roughness of his chest, fist meeting the cement wall in anger, the blood didn't bother him, the pain non existent. He steps over the crumbled pieces of the wall before looking right into the camera. "If you think I'll stay here peacefully, you're mistaken. I will punch my way out of here."

His feet start towards the carving he made in the wall but peeks his head towards the door listening to the gliding of locks. He stands tall, expecting someone to send in some poor bastard that was meant to tell him to behave but would only meet death in the hands of him.

Much to his surprise, a female thrown into the room, falling next to his feet. Adrenline was too high, he couldn't think straight. His body telling him this was a trick but mind realizing how similarly dressed they were.She was here as a prisoner too.

"Are you okay?" Steve's voice is rough, making you flinch but scatter away from him as his hands reached out to help you up.

An unsettling feeling is ripped deep inside his stomach, bubbling red hot as he notices the darkness behind your eyes. Nothing was there, a shell of a human. "I'm not going to hurt you."

Avoiding eye contact at all cost, you pull your knees to your chest, head resting against the hard shell of knees. What did they do to this girl?

Steve's eyes run over the soft features, skin with no wrinkles, big doe eyes avoiding him. Cheeks so lively, warm with color and lips that just resembled youth. Hair was beautifully knotless, curtaining past your shoulders, small shoulders that formed into the valley of your breast, no older than 23.

He decides to keep his distance, but drops to his knees to size you. Hoping that with being eye level would make himself look less scary, dominating even. "What's your name?"

When she doesnt answer he sighs, "I'm Steve."

Before he gets a chance to speak again, a loud crackling echos the room, source the camera. "Do you like her steve? She's yours."

"Mine? What?" Eyes don't leave you, he doesn't speak for the camera, more like asking himself.

"We want to be friends with you Steve. Give us your blood and you can do whatever you want with her."

He notices how fast your chest begins to move, a small choked sound constricting from your throat. The voice the reason for the anxiousness, scaring you.

"Stop talking." Steve hisses, "i will never give you my blood and you're scaring her."

"Have it your way then." All of a sudden the small light is gone, the room is completely black, the clicking of the locks telling him someone is coming. The door hit the wall with a large thump, he swore it shook the room, he stands arms reaching out trying to get a hold of something, if something was there. A large arm reaches around his neck, before he could even react the sharp pain of a needle in his neck has him out cold.

The second time waking up was easier, his body still in full fight mode as he jumped up, trying to locate the danger. Quickly realizing it was gone, and he was alone once again. The days started to form into a week, he's given no food, forced to drink water from the leaking sink in the block room - it drives him crazy, drip, drip, drip. Stomach painfully twisting as a tray is slid from under the door- a small piece of bread, what looked like chicken broth and a banana, better then nothing at all. His mouth salivates at the salty smell of the warm soup filling his nose, almost dizzy from the lack of food. It must be his lucky day, a few hours later lunch is there too. A sandwich with an apple, they even have him a cup to drink his sink water out of.

Dinner isn't existent, but for once this whole week he is not weak, stomach not painfully squeezing inside of him. Hes not full, but satisfied. The echoing of foot steps followed by the shuffling of a shadow behind the door thinking its a late dinner but the locks unhinge, the woman revealed, two large men standing behind you as you walked in.

Steve eyes meet your face as the door is closed, your eyes avoid him at all costs. Hair perfectly flowly, features even softer than before, might even say a sight for sore eyes that have been staring at half understandable words on a page and cement walls. Except for once small detail, a countless amount of bruising ranging from small to big across your arms, most likely from the men roughing you up, grabbing harshly at the small girl.

"Hey are you okay?" He is surprised by the small squeak of a yes as you finally talk. "Why are you here?"

"I, ugh - don't know." Shakily you cross arms across the swells of your breast, a surivial instinct, protecting most vital organs. Steve chooses to ignore it, "what's your name?"

"Y/N." Its softly spoken, but a name that fits you very well. The soft patter of drops against the sink, the only sound filling the room as you finally meet his eyes. Beautiful ocean waves, big blue skies being the only words that come to mind. His features are hard bit form a devilishly handsome man, but eyes so soft reminding you of the beautiful things in life.

"Did they feed you? I have an apple left from earlier." The large red apple looks so small in his gigantic hand. You shake your head, "No, I'm okay."

"You can sit down. Do you know where we are?"

"No, I'm okay." The honest truth is men scared you, especially the largely built one who stood with so much strength that you backed away from him.

"I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not like them."

"I just don't want you by me."

Steve nods in understanding, forehead creasing i though as his tongue runs over his lips as he looks around the room. "You can sit on the bed, I'm going to go over here."

Steve points to the opposite corner of the room, "I'm going to move now, you don't have to be scared." You want to thank him for the warning but bite your tongue and nod, making sure he reaches the other side of the room before routing yourself to the pathetic excuse of the bed.

"I see you're getting along." The voice rings from the camera as Steve's eyes squint in annoyance. He decides not to play in, his gaze burns against your skin. It wasn't in a way that was uncomfortable, but he wanted to test you, ask you questions you wouldn't answer.

"She's a gift for you steve, aren't you lonely? we want to be your friends." Steve scoffs, "last time i checked, friends don't lock each other in prisons."

"You can do whatever you want with her." The voice darkenly is suggestive with unlawful thoughts, a concept as dark as that doesn't even register in his mind.

"What does that even mean?"

"We want you to take her." Steve's forehead creases in confusion, fingers stretching lines across his forehead, but when met with the horrified look on your face realization hits him like a ton of bricks, crushing his chest. Stomach clenching as he feels sick, was this normal for you to do?

The captures realized Steve wasn't going to just give up his blood, he also wouldn't take what they gifted him. Steve Rogers was a man of a moral code, the best kind of man mixed with a gentleman, that would never hurt a lady but wouldn't ever allow one to die because of his hand either. "If you don't fuck her, we will kill her."

They will strip away every part that is good of him, take away every moral and goodness this man has, starting with taking away the fact that he has a choice on who he sleeps with. Steve's ocean blues meet yours in panic, chest tight, he couldn't breath at the suggestion.

"No."

"She will die, and it will be because of you. You could've saved her Steve." This isn't right, the giant pit in his stomach screaming in horror as the words leave your mouth, "it's okay steve."

Your welcoming this, accepting it is survival but he isn't standing for it. His eyes water, he feels sick, taking away the one sense of security you posses, your choice and willing accepting that is gone. "No. I am not doing that."

"You're doing to let me die?" No, he wasn't going to that either. "They're not lying, they will slit my throat the moment I walk out of here."

"You can't even look in my eyes let alone do this!" Feelings getting the best of him as the wall crumbles underneath his power, bloody knuckles spreading the redness across his face as he rubs it stressfully.

"You have 30 seconds Steven." The voice warns, threatening is more like it.

"It's okay, i know you won't hurt me." Your soft voice is what makes him really choke up, an angel that didnt deserve this. Steve's weight is on top of you, his hand pressed against the matress supporting most of it. A hand so shaky he can't even pull at the strings of your sweats so instead you pull them down revealing what should be your choice to him.

"I am so sorry." It was a choked sob filled with so much sadness, a gruff from the chest that made even your heart break for him right now. He closes his eyes, preventing the tears from falling but in a forced moment like this, couldn't find himself to find excitment, but the fact that this was going to be life or death out weighed his feelings.

It was a small kiss, a peck barely there against his clothed shoulder made him gasp, not expecting the comfort in this moment. You of all people, comforting him, a sobbing mess of a man while your innocence he was taking unwillingly. The wetness of his tears meeting your cheeks, sliding down as he pushes into you and with that his heart breaking.

It continued for days, over and over again they make him get to know every part of your body, he begs them to stop, you tell him its okay, that this is how it has to be, but he can't take it. Sleeping soundly he watches you, peacefully in a peaceful world unlike this one. You don't care much for his touch, but sleep is the one place you don't scower from it. Its hard not to be close, the twin matress making it nearly impossible to not touch. The dark blush of the bruising is starting to fade, hand softly rubbing over the skin as you breath heavily. Chest is moving with every breath, lips slightly parted, beautiful.

Warm against him, he is glad you can sleep. It's been days since he has, guilt eating him alive, which is exactly what they want. They will continue to make him disgrace you until he breaks and allows them to give him the blood, and willingly participates in their experiments. The loud sound of cement crumbling following loud booms makes him clutch you close to his chest, back facing the door to protect you at all costs. Your awake now, breathing heavily into the chest as the sound of bullets ripple from outside of the door he coos. "Its okay, its okay. I'll protect you."

Nothing else is said as the fight outside continues until it stops, you look up at him, looking for answers until eyes widen in fear as the locks of the door sound. They were coming back for you. Steve turns, pushing you behind him as he stands tall, a man ready to fight.

"Buck?" It's just above a whisper as a tall man, almost as big as him stands. A metal arm, long black hair that reaches his shoulders.

"Steve we got to go." The girl is only noticeable when he reaches around to grab your hand, Bucky notices the messy hair, dried lips and the dark bruising against your arms. "She's coming with us."

The sunlight hurts, you cover your eyes quickly as you almost stumble to your knees trying to keep up with the two large men as bullets wiz past. Steve's arms are lifting you by the waist, nudging you to get back up. The quinjet sits only feet away, a tall, dark man yelling incoherent sounds over the swooshing of the blades in the air. In seconds the metal of the floor is cold against bare feet, door closing, it was safe.

Taking a deep breath your eyes running over the tower of Steve as the jet takes off. Bucky can't help but notice the shortening of breath from the small girl, coldness of the metal arm making you jump away in shock, "are you okay?"

"n-no!"

"Buck, buck, don't." Steve reaches for him, taking the artificial touch from her. "She doesn't like being touched. "

You feel trapped in here, three large men making it suffocating in this tiny box, that some how seemed even more freeing than the one you've grown so used to despite being high in the clouds.

"Breathe sweetheart." Steve coos, sinking down to your size, arms reaching out but not quite touching. "Its just me, my touch is good."

His touch is filled with unwanting pleasure, a reminder of what was taken away from you but also a certain gentleness that made you feel safe and secure. You don't let him touch you but nod at his words, following the rythm of his breathing from the pattern of his chest.

"What the fuck happened there?" Bucky wanted to say what the fuck is wrong with you but noticed how uncomfortable you already were.

"I just need to sit down." Steve looked broken as well as he sat finally, still feet away from you. Hands rubbing over his face, as a small cry feel from his lips. Any other time being captured by enemy lines wouldn't even affect him, but he didn't feel like the same man, he was a disgusting excuse of one that fell victim to them, they might have not gotten his blood but did strip the one piece of him he held dearly: his moral code.

Bucky chest squeezes as his best friends sorrow, hand meeting his back, rubbing soft circles of comfort. You watch every second of it, this was bound to happen, you saw the change every time he was forced to touch you, the breaking away of his head, of what he stood for but most of wishing you could accept touch like that, comfort, but any man that touched you only brought pain, physically and in the cause mentally. The ride was quiet once Steve managed to stop crying, didn't dare to talk, the emotion still raw in his chest, afraid it would start again. Once on the ground, a group of people surround him, hugs, kisses to his cheeks. Once again you were envy of his acceptance, the thought making you sick. Steve showed you to a room, placing a pair of what looked like his clothes at the end of the freshly made bed. "You can lock the door when I leave if you'll feel safer." Nails nervously scratching the back of his neck, "You can shower, and if you need me I'm right across the hall, goodnight."

Steve wanted to talk, apologize for what he had done to you but didn't also thought the events of today were enough, you deserved a goodnights rest.

Steve's clothing hung loosely from wet skin, the sweats needed to be rolled, sweater reaching mid-thigh. Sleep did not come easy, noisy sounds of the busy city, honks, and whizzing cars, something you weren't used to being secluded for so long. Anxiety bubbling deep inside your chest, burning your skin. The constant fear that they would come back for you, take you away with just a taste of this freedom.

It was strange but you missed the security, the sense of being protected by him, a feeling you have never felt before. Quietly you enter his room, he's not sleeping just deep in thought as he stares at the ceiling, not noticing your entrance.

"Steve?" Rolling your hands nervously into sweater paws as looks at you with worry. "What's wrong?"

He's sitting up now, ready for anything, trying to figure out the emotions of your face you keep so guarded. "I can't sleep."

He lays back down, hand extending opening the covers to allow you in. Thankfully he doesn't try to touch you. Running over the defined features of his face, ocean eyes so soft. For the first time ever he looks relaxed despite the dark circles under his eyes, the ocean surrounded by a deep red of regret, disgust in himself. He offers a sweet smile, which you can't find yourself to return but try your best.

Closing your eyes feels nice, his breath in your ear, you feel safe as you slip into a world of peacefulness. But not before hearing, "I'm sorry. Sweet dreams sweetheart."

Note: if you want to be tagged in the next two parts, comment below! Part 2 comes with the reader learning to accept his touch and unexpected surprise.

#stever rogers imagine #steve x reader #steve rogers #chris evans imagine #chris evans #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers fanfiction

140 notes · View notes

izukult · 5 years ago

Text

the stages of mourning △ {p.p}

warnings / i’m SORRY ok this is sad bitch hours. angst, swearing, death death death, kinda vividish descriptions of death!! she says fuck like 8009482849293929 times

summary / he couldn’t come home every time.

word count / 5.5k (i POPPED off)

notes / PROMISE i give it a somewhat tranquil ending i’m sorry. also please read this it took me so long i put so much TIME INTO THIS. ALSO I COULDNT FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO THE READ MORE THING BC IM STUPID AND I FORGOT IM SO SORRY @ EVERYONE WHO DOESNT READ THIS PLS DONT HATE ME

[gif is not mine]

↴

denial

when you watched peter parker die, you pinched the skin on the back of your hand; you almost believed it was a nightmare because the physical pain was drowned out by the sight before you.

“peter- peter listen to me, hey-” your knees scraped on the cement of the road, small patches of your blood sliding onto the ground, melding into peters. “hey, it’s me. it’s y/n.” your hand was shaky as it came into contact with his shoulder, “it’s y/n.” you slowly pulled off his mask, grimacing at the discoloration of his face. his breathing was slow, heavy, as he looked at you. you could tell he was struggling with trying to close his mouth, and right when he did, he immediately coughed, gagging and spitting blood onto your torso.

“‘m sorry,” you shook your head, bottom lip quivering.

“no- no, pete, it’s okay. don’t be sorry. it’s okay,” your other hand came under his head, lifting him up slightly and cradling him like a newborn. “you’re okay.”

he smiled, as much as he could, and his eyes lazily scanned the area around you. he looked at the rubble and the indented car and other such mayhem around him. “did we do it? did i do it?” you nodded, clearing your throat to cover a sob.

“you did it, pete. you always do it.”

“spiderman always does it.” he grinned, wincing and shutting his eyes as tight as he could. the gashes on his stomach almost seemed protruding and he had marks of purple from previous encounters of asphyxiation. he clearly had broken ribs, and from the way it was bent, you could tell his left leg was broken. you didn’t look at that, though. instead, you looked at the way his hair still parted perfectly itself.

“no. no, you did it. peter parker did it.” he lifted a hand, almost pathetically, and lightly squeezed your arm.

“always did it for you,” and your heart wrenched. you let out a bark of a sob, your breathing becoming rapid. you wanted to close your eyes, rest your forehead on peters shoulder like you had so many times before, but you made sure to keep looking at him. looking at how he breathed, how his eyes held so much light even as he was dimming. you swiped your thumb over his cheekbone, smearing blood that had formed at another of his miscellaneous cuts.

“oh, sweet, sweet peter parker.” you remember that your voice was a hoarse whisper. at the time, it felt like that was all you could get out. you couldn’t speak louder or you would both shatter. at this point, people were gathering. to your disinterest, cameras were pointed. and, typically, you would’ve stopped them but right then all you could do was look at peter. “i love you so, so much.” and he smiled, he smiled that signature peter parker grin, clad with slightly broken teeth and a crinkle at his eyes. and then he convulsed. and his breathing sounded like hiccups and then it sounded like nothing and the brown of his eyes was almost a gray and they wouldn’t stop staring at you.

“peter-” you felt your heart stop, for just a second. your eyes widened, and you moved both your hands to his shoulders immediately. “peter, hey, peter-” you shook him, his corpse, slightly. “peter, please-.” and the sobs started to wrack your body again. you heard natasha’s gasp faintly over the pounding of your head, and you were sure tony had tried to pull you back but you jerked forward, back to the boy you loved.

“peter, please- please close your eyes, peter.” you shook him a little more, your wheezes erratic and your teeth chattering against each other. “peter, close your fucking eyes. this isn’t funny.” but he didn’t. he didn’t and you knew he wouldn’t. your shriek was louder than the commotion of everything around you.

“no.” your shook your head, maneuvering your arms under his back. “no no no-.” you lifted him up and regretted it as you caught a glimpse of what used to be him fall into the cracks of the ground from his stomach. you turned your head to the side, away from peter parker’s broken, perfect figure, and wretched until you were just dry heaving and sobbing and you didn’t know what was your blood and what was his but your tears were mixing into it. “no, you- you’re-.”

tony grabbed you again, gently trying to guide you from peter- from your peter.

“kid, you-.” you snapped your head to him, tears stains on your now pale skin. “he’s gone.”

“no. no!” you glared at him and you knew you shouldn’t talk to tony fucking stark like that but you didn’t care. “he’s fine. shut the fuck up.” you still held your broken boy in your hands as you looked at tony. “he promised- he-.” your body ruptured into sobs again.

“he said after this we’d- we’d just go home and watch- he promised we’d go to the compound and have a normal fucking night and this wouldn’t be a big fucking deal.” your eyes were wild and your face was scrunched. nothing about you was beautiful in this moment. “he promised.”

“i’m sorry.” never had you seen tony so deflated; never had you seen a town so deflated. suddenly, the air felt different, and the world felt darker. there was no more peter parker to light it anymore.

you turned back to him and sucked in a breath. “oh, pete,” you kissed his forehead, moving to each of his temples. you pressed three soft, pure kisses on his cheeks and nose, letting his blood become a lipstick that he had said was his favorite shade on you. when you kissed him, finally, his lips were starting to cool. they were chapped, as always, but they didn’t have the warmth and energy he radiated. this time, when you kissed him, his hands didn’t move your hair or rest on your waist, but they stayed down. this time, when you kissed him, there was none of him pulling back red and breathless just to look at you. this time, when you kissed him, there was nothing. your forehead pressed with his and your tears gave him the warmth that he was missing. “you promised.”

anger

you littered your body with bruises to match those that peter had; learned all the defenses that could’ve saved him.

handling peters death wasn’t something you we exactly doing. your body was weak; holding out on meals, drinking nothing but caffeine, and overworking daily.

you’d grown accustomed to falling asleep under the pressure of peters arm. you listened to his heartbeat instead of music- once you’d joked that since he was attuned to your heart you should memorize the tune of his-, and used his body heat as a blanket. now, when you closed your eyes, your body was too cold and too hot. now, when you closed your eyes, you saw how blank he became. now, when you closed your eyes, you remembered beating the almost defeated doctor octavius until he followed peter. now, when you closed your eyes, you felt the horror you’d felt when you realized you’d killed him.

your jaw was clenched, teeth grating against each other. your eyes were slits, glaring at the black clad bag. you lifted your hands in a right, left, right formation before following with two immediate left jabs. you stopped taping your hands the day after peter died. you let the sand in the bag crack your skin, push your knuckles inwards, bend your fingers slightly and never cried about it. you never cried. after the first night, you didn’t shed tears unless there was other water for them to blend with.

you hadn’t spoken much about him after that day, besides at his funeral. there was no one who knew peter parker as well as you, and it only felt right for the person he had loved the most to say a few words. and that’s what you did. you said a few words. because, honestly, you could talk about peter parker for hours. you could talk about the way his hands were calloused everywhere except his palms, or how when he laughed his right eye shut more than his left one. you could talk about how he once talked about the flaws of the back to the future trilogy for eighteen minutes and then rebutted his own argument for twenty six minutes. you could talk about how it took him twice as long to fall asleep on his back than it did on his stomach or every difference between his varied tone of voice. you could talk about how he carried the world on his shoulders and still let other people take the credit. but you would not talk about his fall, or his failure. you knew he wasn’t to be spoken about in such a manner, so you uttered as little as you could about his death.

you left his funeral early. after everyone found out he was spiderman, you were getting constantly bombarded with apologizes and praise. peter parker couldn’t even be a regular boy in his own death, and you felt the ceremony was too public.

you couldn’t bare to see him buried, either. part of you, all of you, was still hoping this was a big misunderstanding. that your boy would run to you, wrap you in his arms, pick you up, kiss you, tell you it was okay and that he was there. when you started to understand that he wasn’t coming back, when the shock started to wear off, you changed- your heart filled with more malice than it had before, and every time you touched something you felt that it should break under you. you were angry.

you punched the bag a few more times, throwing your all into in a rhythmic dance before your infuriation started to bubble over again. you hit it with improper form, spontaneously and full of rage. you felt your thumb turn backwards but you pushed farther, letting the sound of the bone cracking mix in with the dull sound of the leather. your vision blurred and you yelled, hitting it more with your fists vertical now, until you were pulled back and wrapped into someone’s arms.

you heaved, looked down, saw the gore from your finger stain their shirt, and pushed them away from you. you didn’t say a word as you panted, let your vexation deflate slightly and stared at the wall past the person.

“kid,” you jerked your neck, your eyes meeting tony’s. you silently, desperately, willed him not to say what you knew he’d say next. “you’ve got to stop, this isn’t good for you.” you swallowed slow, the burning of your throat- the sting of soreness- reminded you that you were alive and peter was not. “he wouldn’t want you to do this.”

and you laughed. at first it was just an exhale, a sarcastic ‘fuck you’ of air, but then it evolved. it turned into a full bodied laugh, your back leaning down in a terrible posture with your arm positioned on your stomach. you stumbled forward, used tony for support, as your chuckling stopped. there had been no sign of a smile on your face. you were eye level with tony, and you kept your hand on him as you looked at him directly.

“don’t tell me what peter would’ve fucking wanted.” your tone was harsh and you pushed yourself away from him- or more him away from you- and your vision glossed over.

“he wouldn’t want this, y/n.” your eye twitched slightly before you closed them both altogether.

“you know what he wanted, tony?” you took a step toward him, “he wanted to impress you.” you pressed your finger into his chest. “he wanted to be good enough for you,” you couldn’t get rid of the scowl on your face. “he was fine as the kid in the fucking pajamas. he was fucking happy.” your voice broke, and you cleared your throat, which seemed to be a common habit now.

“you did this to him. you brought him into stuff he wasn’t fucking ready for.” you knew it was cruel. you knew tony already stomached some of the blame. but you stood tall and clenched your hand into a fist, even your broken thumb, your eyes looking into his, almost challenging him.

“you need to get some sleep,” you scoffed.

“running away from your problems again, stark? how many people have you fucking killed, besides peter?” tony didn’t say anything. he didn’t snap at you, he didn’t apologize, and, more than that, you noticed he didn’t have any hint of emotion on his face.

“it should’ve been you, or at least me.” your breathing was hallow and you turned your torso, your legs still planted and threw a hard punch, wincing at the contact, before turning back to him. “but this stupid fucking team of egoists who think they’re better than every other goddamn person took a fucking child- he was just a child- and made him do their fucking work.” you exhaled through your nose, another quiet laugh spilling from your lips.

“you killed him! all of you did.” after you screamed the first sentence, tears started to pool in your eyes. it was the first time you’d cried in front of someone since you lost peter. you took a step closer and maintained eye contact as you spat on the mat near his feet. “and all of us are going to hell for it.” you walked past him, towards the door, and left past traces of your hands on the punching bag to rot.

“peter idolized you. he lost his life for you, so the least you could do is have a little fucking respect and not act like you know what he would’ve wanted for me.”

bargaining

peter used to joke about how good of a lawyer you’d make when you argued, and the thought consumed you for about six days.

“come on, strange,” you pleaded. his arms were crossed, and he hadn’t even bothered to dignify you with a glance.

“no,” you groaned, your eyes rolling. you were still on edge- still at snapping point, still broken- but you had been focusing your energy into an attempt to bring peter back. you had been surrounded with superheroes and magic all your life so you’d figured there was bound to be someone who could tinker with necromancy.

“i’m just asking you one favor-” stephen stopped moving and turned to look at you. even though his face was blank, he had the evident dr. strange ‘not-in-the-mood-for-your-shit’ aura.

“a favor? you’re asking me to bring someone back from the dead. not only does that go against every one of my teachings as a doctor, but it could also completely obliterate this universe’s timeline.”

“obliterate it? really?” you had disbelief in your eyes which glazed over the hope you were trying to hide.

“yes!” stephen brought his arms to his sides. “peter’s dead.” his tone softened slightly, his sympathy wrapping around your shoulders like a blanket. “i’m sorry.”

you exhaled, shrugging your shoulders, and trying to stop yourself from acknowledging the pressure that formed at your waterline. “no, don’t be. you’re right. he’s just dead.” you gave him a tight lipped smile.

“if you’re not going to help me, i’ll find someone who will.” you hadn’t been able to get any progress on the whole ‘zombie parker operation’. you’d tried everything from lab tests to pleading with some aliens- who tried to kill you shortly after.

you’d never been an overly religious person. you didn’t go to church every week and you didn’t pray before every meal. after seeing all the things you saw, watching people get murdered and assaulted and the people who attack just for the laugh, you got weary with the idea that a god could be real.

at peters funeral, you didn’t show a hint of emotion at the ‘he’s in a better place now’ comments or the ‘god took him to rest with his family’ notion. while it was a nice thought, you felt that peter parker resided in the spot on the street where his soul left him. in your mind, peter lived on through the kisses he’d left on your cheeks and the echo of his laugh through the compound at three am.

after everything, you could only assume god was dead. but, desperate times call for desperate measures.

you’d wound up in peter’s untouched room. your eyes glazed over with a mist and a wet breath fell in sync with a tear. you walked over to his dresser, the rustic wood covered in an array of random shit that peter just couldn’t clean, and looked at the stack of pictures he had of you and him, or just you. your finger traced over the print of his hair; you don’t know how long you held the photo, but when the tears started to slide off of it- form puddles on the lamination-, you placed it back down. you moved to his bed, sat down and inhaled the scent of his pillows.

you looked up at the ceiling peter had definitely tried to do tricks off of. “god?” you cleared your throat. you felt stupid, childish, trying to talk to something you never worshipped before. “hi, uh, it’s me.” your voice was saturated with tears, thick with saliva, but you chose to ignore it. “i know i’ve- i don’t really- i don’t really necessarily do all the things you’re supposed to do when- uh- that you want me to do, i guess.”

you bit your cheek, clenching the cotton of peters pillowcase. “so, if you’re real, i don’t know why you’d do anything for me. i’m not- i’m not really a good person.” you shut your eyes tight, bringing your knees up to your chin. “but peter? peter was good. as good as you, if not better. all he wanted was to help people- he died helping people- he died.” you shook your head, your eyes opening and glancing back at the popcorn material of the roof.

“if you’re real, if you’re hearing this, i beg you. please, bring him back. somehow. please, just keep him safe, he just needs to be safe.” your voice cut off and you didn’t bother to try to bring it back up. you knew it was foolish, that this wasn’t how it worked, but you waited for a voice or for a sign. you don’t know how long you waited, or how long until any hope left your body. you don’t know how long it was until you fell asleep in peters sheets, staining the place you used to lay together with your tears. you don’t remember being covered in a blanket by tony or the looks of pity- empathy- from the other avengers. you don’t know anything else about what happened that night other than the fact that after that you knew peter was gone.

depression

when peter was out patrolling, you often stole his sweaters. the feeling was almost like he was giving you a warm hug, pressing into your skin lightly. after he died, you tried to pretend the little things were him as well.

it only took you about two weeks to go back to school. you knew you had to go back sometime, that just because one life stopped didn’t mean everything else did. people at school looked at you differently now. they gave a softer image to you, bit back every word to make sure it was okay to say. they held your tired eyes in their hands and tried to make sure you didn’t break.

you’d stopped eating, almost completely. unless someone forced you to eat, which sometimes you’d still denied, food was out of the picture for you. overall, your hygiene went down in general. you weren’t doing your homework, showers became less and less frequent and your biggest habit became sleep. so, school was a big step (so was stepping at all).

you sat at your desk next to michelle and ned. peters death hit them both pretty hard, but it didn’t seem to have the same effect as it had on you. all of your class, you’d try not to look over to the empty chair that peter parker used to sit in every day; and when you would look that way, one of them would squeeze your hand. they’d ground you enough so you didn’t float away. but with current circumstances, that was just enough.

flash approached you, clearing his throat and offering you a weak smile.

“hey,” you looked at him, eyes almost permanently stained red, and offered the closest thing you could to a welcoming grin.

“hey.”

“i- uh-” he paused. you could see him bite down on his bottom lip, which was slightly more chapped than peters used to be, watch as he pondered over his next sentence just as everyone else around you did.

“i- i like your sweater. it’s sick.” you didn’t need to look down at the sweater to know what he was talking about. your heart clenched, the fabric that slipped slightly past your finger tips suddenly starting to feel like it was trapping you.

“thanks, it was peter’s.” and there it was, in the open. it was peter’s. the lines of color on the gray sweater were fading and the star wars print had started to chip, but peter still wore it religiously around the compound. “i- i took it from him one day and just never gave it back. didn’t have the time.” the air felt thick. it was hard to swallow, even harder to come back out. you could see the regret on his face, the guilt and the pain.

“he- he was really- i’m- i feel bad. i treated him like shit.” he ran a quick hand through his hair and you nodded.

“you did. don’t worry, pete’s a forgiving soul.” you shrugged, placing a hand under your chin to still your jaw so your teeth wouldn’t chatter.

“he was a good dude.”

“yeah, he was.” you didn’t realize you’d started crying until you felt the warmth on your face. at this point, you hardly recognized when you cried. you felt almost blank, and when you weren’t you just missed him.

“alright, bud, that’s enough.” mj. she protected you, looked out for you, and she was going to end the conversation for you.

flash mumbled an apology, or maybe a condolence, and left back to his seat and you moved to wipe away the tears. mj placed a hand on your shoulder, rubbing her thumb lightly to try to calm you.

“he didn’t mean anything by that. it’s just flash, yknow? he can’t tell a mome-”

“do you think i should’ve given him back his sweater?” your eyes were wide and the precipitation from them amplified their shine in an almost sick way.

“what?”

“peter. do you think he was mad i kept his sweaters?” your nerves started to build up and if you’d had the energy to hyperventilate you would’ve, instead your breaths just came out heavy and slow. “i could’ve done so much more, yknow?”

“hey,” she tried to cut you off, bring you out of the spiral you were falling into.

“no, i’m serious. i- i remember when i got this sweater. he’d just swung right out the window- no reason to hide the identity anymore, yknow? everyone knows- anyway, he’d just left and i already missed him so much. i was so fucking overdramatic.” the laugh that bubbled in your throat erupted as a sob and you felt so stupid for doing this in class but you were wearing peters sweatshirt and he wasn’t there to kiss your cheek or play with your hair or call you his pretty girl or anything and he’d never be there again so crying felt like an okay response.

“i always got so scared when he’d leave, that he’d end up dead and alone out there. he wasn’t alone, though. i was there- i was there and i couldn’t save him. i- i’d missed him so much and i loved this kid so fucking much and there was this stupid fucking sweater that smelled like old spice on steroids and i just- oh my god, i miss him so fucking much.” your breathing had quickened now and everyone was looking at you and you were just looking at the empty chair.

“i shouldn’t have taken his clothes. he’d always make jokes, maybe they weren’t jokes, about how pretty soon he’d have nothing to wear and i shouldn’t have taken his fucking stuff, i shouldn’t-” you paced yourself, letting out a single even breath.

“do you think he knew?” mj didn’t say anything. no one said anything. they just watched you. they felt your pain from your body, from the fabric. “think he knew how much i loved him?” you wiped the tears from your face once more. “god, i hope he did.”

“of course he did.” ned spoke up this time. you could hear his heart in his voice; you could hear everyone’s heart in their voice. queens had lost spiderman, midtown had lost peter parker, and you had lost your family. “you made it disgustingly obvious.” you forced out a laugh and turned your attention to ned, who cracked a smile at you. “it’s not your fault.” you looked at him and the guilt you’d placed behind poorly sewn cotton came bursting through the dam and ned knew you meant so much more.

“peter would never have thought it was your fault.”

“i know.”

“he knew what he was doing.”

“i know.”

“and he loved you so much while doing it.” and you did grin. your fingers closed around the end of the sleeves, and you looked down at the thing that most closely resembled the boy you loved.

“i know.” you were tired; everyone could see you were tired. so, when the two asked to take you to the nurses, no one disagreed. your feet were slow as you walked, your eyes barely bothered to stay open anymore, and you felt like you’d lost your personality in the cracks of the road that day. you knew you’d lost your soul there. when you were sitting on the makeshift bed in the health room, waiting for someone to pick you up, you closed your eyes and brought the hem of peter’s sweater up to your face. you breathed in, felt the tears fall again, and this time allowed them. your mouth didn’t move from a straight line and you felt almost a consistency of numbness but you imagined peter there next to you, telling you you were going to be just fine.

“i love you.” and you stayed like that until someone came for you.

acceptance

the one time peter tried to take you on a picnic, he had to go for his spiderman responsibilities. you weren’t mad, you ended up just looking at the city from the balcony when he came back, but you never got around to the task.

it had been 46 days since peter parker died. over a month since he’d said his last word, laughed his last laugh, kissed his last kiss. slowly, with time and so much pain, you were coming back to life.

you missed him every day, sometimes ignoring it was impossible and you’d break down- fall apart at the seems-, but you were getting better at holding yourself together.

you looked in the mirror, flattening your hair with a hand, pressing it down, and nodded a little. you looked at the outfit and huffed out a breath of air. “i think this was it,” you knew it was, you remembered the photos, but you still asked yourself. you informed someone you were leaving, where you were going, and made your way.

it was your first time visiting peters grave since his funeral. seeing the tombstone was almost too much for you.

Here Lies

PETER PARKER

August 10, 2001 - March 4, 2019

Beloved hero, nephew, and friend.

Long live Spiderman.

your breathing cut off as you read, and for a second you felt an anger at the last part, but you knew that was part of him. it was a big part of him, and of course it was going to be recognized. because it was still peter parker and peter parker was spiderman. you placed the basket down and crouched down to touch the stone.

“hey, pete.” you opened the basket and grabbed the flowers you’d had placed at the top, and left the handful of daisies you’d brought at the base of the marble. “i’m sorry it took me so long to come see you,” you could envision him saying it was okay, that he was just glad to see you at all, and you shook your head. you had to stop hiding in figments of him.

“i thought- i thought we could finally have that picnic?” you let out a quiet laugh, your hand tracing the lettering. “i wore the same outfit, brought the same food- made it the way you’d wanted it.” your exhales were choppy as you started to empty the basket and you whimpered slightly as tears started to fall again.

“i miss you so much, peter.” your eyes were closed, tears moving from your face to your neck, but a small smile tugged at your features. “i say that so often. i hope wherever you are, you’re happy now.” you moved and opened a cart of strawberries, grabbing one. “everyone at school misses you. everyone does.” you took a bite from the strawberry, swallowing it quickly as you remembered something.

“oh!” you wiped your mouth, rubbing the juice from the strawberry on your leg. “there’s a day for you now? like a remember spiderman day thing. there was a vigil, too, it was supposed to be really beautiful. i didn’t go- i couldn’t go.” even though he wasn’t there, even though you felt yourself breaking all over again, talking to him through dirt and stone made you feel the most natural and at home you’d felt since his death.

“saw flash weeping over you, man.” you finished that strawberry and let out a little laugh. “we all love you, parker. i’ve been checking up on may. so has happy, if ya know what i mean.” you laughed again. “sorry,” you played with your fingers, a nervous habit you’d had most of your teenage career.

“i hope we meet again, peter. i know we will.” and as you looked at this stone and all the other stones around, all the memories came back so strong. every moment you’d ever had with peter. you remembered the way he breathed late at night, every time he’d tripped while looking at you, all the stupid fights you’d had, and the dumb ways he’d apologized. every utterly domestic thing about peter came back and it was too little for him. it wasn’t enough to be his whole life. “i think you and me could’ve been forever.” you nodded, chewing the inside of your bottom lip. “in a way, i think we will be.”

you kept a hand on the stone. “you were worth the whole fucking world, peter.” you kissed the rock, which may have been gross but you didn’t really care at the moment. “i’ll think about you, always. i do think about you always.” you remembered how soft his face was under your hand or the way when you were sad he would hug you so tight and so strong. “you’ll always be my favorite boy.” how he looked at you like you were the most gorgeous thing he’d ever seen every moment he saw you. “you’ll always be my favorite hero.” the way he gripped onto your hand when you were never. “i can’t wait to see you again.” you hoped that your tears wouldn’t have any help in the process of eroding the gravestone, but you knew tony would have it fixed if it had so much as a dent.

“i promise i’ll come by more often.” you meant it. you’d continue to come by, visits never getting less frequent. going there was your way of still being connected with him. you went at least once a week, always with a recap and thoughts of him. when you got older, you realized life was moving and you had to move with it. you’d still come by when you could, but visits seemed to hold to maybe once every month or every few months. but, you always thought of peter parker, at graduation, on your wedding day, when raising your children. you saw peter parker’s face in the beauty of the world and heard his laugh in music. and you thought of peter when your time finally came, when you were finally reunited with the boy you kept in your heart all your life.

but, in that moment, you just looked at the daisies and the food. “but, enough about that. let’s finally have this picnic, pretty boy.”

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #spiderman x reader #peter parker #mcu #spiderman #marvel #tom holland

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youngmistressofchopchop · 4 years ago

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I did it. Now I dont write, I draw so this is not gonna be so good. Its been through many revisions and I realized I spelt "Yuseke" as "Yueske the entire time so forgive me ill fix that next chapter. My Kuwabara x oc story:

It was finally cold again. Miyoko was overjoyed, she had never liked summer. Sure there was no school and she had more time with friends, but she couldn't stand the heat. She detested those sweaty nights, or how the bugs always bothered her, actually she didnt care for any part of summer.

Miyoko had dropped so many hints over the years and yet somehow, Kuwabara still had no clue. His air-headed-ness was cute, but it made things difficult for the shy girl Miyoko was. She just couldn't work up the nerve to say something, and when she did, something would always interrupt her. However, today she planned to change that! Miyoko got dressed up as cozy as she could, ready for what her and her friends had planned and with a gleam of excitement in her eyes, she headed out the door.

That was apart from going to see her crush, Kazuma Kuwabara's baseball games, he would play every summer. When they were younger, he played in an official team wearing his "Mötor Head" jersey and smoking every opposing team he played against. Miyoko never missed a single game! Every home run, every strike, and every fight that broke out because of a bad call, she was there. When they got older, she would be there to watch him play against his friends, still wearing that jersey. She was always supportive of him, she was madly in love with him, and had been for awhile.

"Urameshi!! Where do you think you're going?? I was talking to you!" Kuwabara's feet hit the sidewalk with force as he sprinted after Yueske, who had walked only a few feet, forcing Kuwabara to stop abruptly frantically trying to steady himself without falling. After regaining balance, Kuwabara grabed a fists full of his friend's jacket to pull him close aggressively.

"D-Dont tell anyone! Or I'll break your mouth, so you cant tell anyone nothin' ever again!!" Kuwabara's face was as red as the setting sun. Unfazed, Yuseke stared at Kuwabara blankly for a short second before sighing and shrugging the big flustered fool off of him.

"Listen man, I wont say anything. But this is getting really annoying. Ive told you before that you should just go through with it. Whats your problem with admitting to her anyways?" Yuseke looked to the helpless man and immediately regretted asking. Kuwabara looked off dramatically twords the orange and red sky. His shoulders slouched, slumping over, and fiddling with his hands.

"I....Shes really pretty, ya know? And...Im well...ya know?" His voice trailed off, as if wanting reassurance he was being foolish. When there was no reply, Kuwabara peeked up with a quivering bottom lip.

Yueske stood with his hands in his pocket saying nothing, only wearing a furrowed brow and tight lips. Suddenly, he burst into laughter. Causing Kuwabara to stand up straight and look at him even more embarrassed, and ready to punch him.

"I never thought I'd hear the great Kuwabara, warrior of love, admit to being ugly!!" Mocked Yueske. He bent over shaking his head and slapping his leg, resting his other elbow on his knee and laughing loudly. He straightened and wiped a fake tear from his eye. Kuwabara gasped in shock.

"What?? Ugly??" Again Kuwabara grabbed at his friend, this time missing and falling. He quickly got up and held up a threatening fists.

"Im not ugly!! Im just not a romantic type!!" He rubbed his fists on his chest.

"I am a warrior of love, so I know how to treat a lady and how to talks to girls, I just....." He paused, his mouth moving like hes trying to remember how talking works. "She's different!!" He finaly blurted out. "She reads them girly romance books that Kurama likes!!" With a frustrated grunt, Kuwabara rubbed his neck nervously and spoke in a much more serious tone.

"Ive known her a real long time, and I cant tell her yet cuz I'm kinda worried she only thinks of me like how Shizuru thinks of me." Yueske picked up on the seriousness of the situation and scoffed trying to lighten things up again.

"Well you are ugly, but I think she likes you anyway. Besides man, why asks me? You think I read them werid books?" Yueske pat Kuwabara awkwardly on the shoulder.

"No way. I asked cuz you have a girlfriend!!" Kuwabara turned to look at Yueske who was moving his arm away.

"So? Doesnt mean I know what im doing, just asks Keiko." The boys laugh, seeming to have calmed down a great deal. Before much more could be said, four familiar and approaching voices could be heard chatting playfully.

"Oh dear, you didnt actually take me seriously did you, Miyoko?" Botan said in a teasing tone.

"I did!! I'm gullible, you cant just tell me anything about spirit world.I will believe it!! Everytime!" The two girls laughed.

"I've noticed," Interjected Kurama. "You have managed to retained alot of attributes from your childhood haven't you? I find that interesting." Kurama continud, wrapping an arm around Botan.

"Alot of people say that...is that a bad thing? I'm not immature am I?" Miyoko felt nervous now. Maybe that was the why Kuwabara never seemed to return her feelings, perhaps she wasn't mature enough for a relationship.

Keiko quickly spouted, "No no! I don't think he meant it like that, I think it's cute!" Keiko put a reassuring arm around Miyoko and smiled a friendly smile.

"Ofcourse! Its an admirable trait." Kurama said as Botan giggled.

Botan wagged her finger and pointed it at Miyoko with a knowing smile "Im on to you! You shouldn't feel so insecure!" Botan pulled her arm back and used it to hug Kurama's arm. "Don't be so hard on yourself, I know you're simply nervous, so you're being extra critical of yourself, but you'll do fine!" Botan hummed encouragingly. "And, we all look fantastic!" Botan added as they all rounded the corner.

Keiko stopped dead in her tracks, and started tapping her foot. "Well, most of us are...Yueske! I thought I told you to dress up!!" Keiko pouted, walking over to her boyfriend's side.

Yueske was the most casually dressed out of all of them. Just wearing his usual faded blue jeans, black converse shoes, plain yellow shirt and favorite green and yellow windbreaker jacket. He looked even more underdressed standing next to Keiko. She was wearing a lovely pale pink turtleneck, a plum purple suspender skirt reaching to her knees, long white socks, and loafers to match her skirt. Despite their contrasting attire, they somehow matched perfectly.

Yueske wrapped his arm around Keiko's shoulder and smirked."Kuwabara isnt dressed up." He looked over to Kuwabara and nodded his way while jutting his thumb twords his friend.

"What!! I am too!! This is the nicest thing I got!! Other than like...a tux or something!!" Kuwabara wore a blue Letterman jacket, a red sweater with dark blue jeans, and brown dress boots laced in black, he was indeed dressed up quite nicely. Miyoko blushed at the sight of his clothing, he cleaned up nicely as always. She couldn't help but smile at him, it was always a slight surprise to see him out of his school uniform. Kuwabara had a simular reaction to Miyoko's choice of clothing. She dawned a wine red A-line dress, knitted black leggins, and shin high beige lace up boots. She wasn't one to dress up like this, but she wanted to tonight, it was a special night after all.

Trying to redirect the situation and prevent Yueske and Kuwabara from fighting, Botan chimed in. "Well, I never have to worry about Kurama when it comesto presentation! Unless ofcourse, he's overdressed and making me look a fool!" Kurama and Botan giggled to eachother looking the most put together, like they were the parents of the group. Tonight, everyone was going their part to help Miyoko's odds, evident by Botan, who was wearing something much different from her usual choice of clothing.

She modelled a white turtle neck dress, form fitting reaching just above her knees with a small slit on the right side, with sleeves that reached slightly past her palms, she wore her wedding ring, hoop earings, beige velvet tights, and blue slip on flats to top off the look. To match her, Kurama dressed just as nice. Wearing a white button up tucked neatly into his dark brown pants, red suspenders with red suede shoes laced in black, and a matching wool trench coat to top complete it all. Now everyone felt underdressed.

"So what are we doing anyway?" Yueske asked scratching his cheek. Keiko shook her head "Are you serious? You've been waiting around this long, and you dont even know why??" Yueske simpled shrugged "I guess?"

Botan sighed looking tired, Yueske was a handful for everyone. "Dont you remember, Yueske? I told you this morning! We're all having dinner!"

Botan motioned to the brick building everyone was standing next to. "You've been standing right next to the restaurant! Where I told you we would be meeting up, seriously! You didn't connect the dots?" Botan tilted her head with a hopeless look. Yueske gritted his teeth and roughly pulled Keiko by her hip to his, talking through his teeth. "Whatever!!" He sighed and let go of Keiko fixed his hair flustered, he brought his fists down onto his palm talking loudly. "So now that we're all here, can we go?? Im starving and you guys took all damn evening to get here!"

Keiko lightly kicked his shoe pouting up at him. "Hush!! Its not our fault you dont listen, besides you didnt even try to dress nice! So I dont feel sorry for you." Yuseke quickly stepped aside and raised his voice a bit "Hey! Didnt ya hear me?? I didn't know what was going on!!" Keiko roughly poked her boyfriend's chest, "Again, not our problem! Listen and you wouldn't have to worry!!"

Kurama was the first to put a stop to the bickering. He took a wide step twords the brick building and grabbed the glass doors handle, he opened the door and motioned for everyone fallow him inside.

So theres that. I'll write more soon. I hope its as fun to read as it was fun to write.

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digitalbounce-digitalsound · 5 years ago

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Currently on the verge of a massive breakdown my guys 👌👌

Not only have my parents never accepted me for being Non-binary, I find out that as well as my mums being transphobic, my dad is a biphobe?

The thing is, I've been out as Bisexual to my parents (my birth mum and my dad) since I was 14. That's 9 years I've been out. They both didnt care when I first told them and makes sense yeah? I mean, my mum is gay, my step-mum is bisexual and my dad is a transvestite.

But both my mums are raging transphobes so when I came out as non-binary (well forced out in the middle of pride) they didnt take it well. Constantly using my birth pronouns, refusing to use my chosen name (Or even my chosen nickname that I have used specifically to make the transition easier for others) they misgender my trans friends and always look disgusted in me.

My birth mum has always gone out of her way to make me seem like a fucking trender when I came out, nothing changed, I've used the bi label for as long as I can remember and more recently, the trans and nb labels. She will go out of her way to say things like "oh, so you're bi now? I thought you were pansexual like, last week" or "but I thought you were gay" and with my gender identity shes worse saying shit like "if you were really trans you wouldnt wear this." "Your hair wouldnt look like that if you were trans."

What's worse about that is my step-mum joins in. My BISEXUAL step-mum joins in. And if I joke around calling her gay she gets assy. She seriously, to my face, calls my sexuality and gender made-up and then gets assy that I corrected her.

Now, I'm almost used to that kind of shit, I just dont see them often. Clears it right up. But now, I have nowhere to go.

My dad recently told me that he hates that my generation "complicated things" saying how back in his day there were only gay and straight, man and woman. (Not trying to think of all the historical examples I could have given him that he is blatantly wrong).

He said that bisexual is made up by straight people who want attention which is entirely untrue (even more so when you consider I'm a gay leaning bi)

And originally when I told him I was non-binary he straight up shouted at me and threatened me before saying to my face that I'm not allowed to do this because I'm just an attention seeker who is trying to be interesting 👌

My siblings are almost as bad. (More specifically my younger brother.) He has many cis friends, a couple trans and surprisingly enough, some enby friends. He uses their correct pronouns and names but he has said straight to me "I wont respect your pronouns because I dont want to." And yet he perfectly respects my friends pronouns?? I dont understand.

My older sister is not that bad. She is the only one in my immediate family that doesnt know but I think she has noticed something is off. She tries not to use my name and will just kind of gesture? But at this point I'm too scared to say anything because I know she'll probably just be like the rest of my family.

As a quick nudge, both my siblings are straight cis, I'm the only one that doesnt match either of those descriptions. It honestly does make me feel like I am that one fucked up sibling. I dont WANT to be different. I fucking dont! This is who I am and I cant help it. I hate that I'm different but shouting at me and being assholes isn't going to change that.

It's not just my sexuality and gender that they scrutinise either which makes this family feel less like a family and more like jailers.

I dont understand why I try to express myself anymore. My step-mum has said to my face before that my whole family (THE WHOLE FAMILY) didnt believe in me being able to go to uni. They all thought I would fail.

For years, since I was very young, I've been called a Hypochondriac for actually going (and wanting to go) to the doctors when I'm ill. To the point that since I was about 17 I've been terrified to go to the doctors because I never think I'm sick enough or that I shouldn't bother the doctors because there might not be anything wrong with me (this has led to me almost being hospitalized with major infections and health issues more than once)

I struggle to breathe 24/7 and yet I'm too scared to get help for it incase they put me on anything (which I know my dad will guilt me into throwing away which would be a waste of money).

I feel like no matter what I do they're never pleased at me. Those 6+ years I did of dance? My parents hated it so I changed to business and language. Those near 15+ years of music, singing (church choir as a soprano & alto and school choir as an alto) and instruments, my mum genuinely laughed at my music teacher in year 10 for asking if I'll be joining up with the choir again bc my mum thought I couldnt sing.

I like cosplay, making props and costumes (for over 4 years)? Mum tells me I'm shit at it and should put my time into something useful.

I like languages so start it as a degree doing Japanese, Korean and German with extra classes in Spanish and French? My dad turns horribly racist and makes jokes about languages and how they're useless, my mum tells me that languages is a stupid degree to do because there isn't any money in it unless I'm a teacher. (I'm going into translation)

It seems like whatever I do, it's never good enough. My siblings get all the praise and help but I get nothing. Currently, while I'm between my uni and an international uni, I'm homeless. I sleep on a mattress in the middle of my dads living room. I have no privacy and have to clean up their colossal hoarding messes to be allowed to stay. I have nowhere else to go and nearly all of my friends live up north where I belong. I have 2 friends down here and no money to do anything.

Honestly dont even know why I'm on this planet some times.

Sorry. Rant over. Anyone got any tips or whatnot, I'd really appreciate it.

-Killian.

#bisexual #nonbinary #gender non conforming #gender #sexuality #transphobia #biphopia #abusive parents?#i dont even know what this family is #rant #i need tips or help or something #i hate it around my family #i am stuck with them for another month

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fatrainbowmermaidunicorn · 6 years ago

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The Perfect Couple (Taehyung x You ONESHOT)

A/N: I hope you will like it anon! I tried to make it angstier but I hope this is good enough <3

MASTERLIST

The perfect couple.

That is the perfect definition to what Taehyung and Y/N are. Perfectly, madly in love with other. Perfectly matched with each other. The most handsome face in the world with the prettiest girl in the country. An internationally famous idol and a well known social influencer. A perfect match made in heaven.

Or so they say.

Y/N smile as she looks at her devastatingly handsome boyfriend from the corner of the room. Taehyung who somehow felt her stare turned to catch her eye to winked and flashed her his sexy boxy grin that Y/N loves too much before he turns back to continue with his mundane conversation with some of the other idols. In all honesty, he would rather grab Y/N and head home right now, having her panting and begging underneath him is always a much better option than being stuck plastering on a fake smile in these boring events.

They were at an after party of an award show, an usual event for the two of them who is always on top of the guest list, which is expected when you are the number one couple to look out for. Everybody loves them. Everybody wants to be them. Everybody wants them to make their presence known at their events. And what even more amazing is how they were not one of those made up couples that is all just for show.

The two of them were sincerely, honestly and purely in love with each other. Y/N was doing a live coverage of backstage footage of a music show for her video channel, when Taehyung first saw her, and he believes he never saw someone so beautiful, funny and just overall interesting like her. Since then, just like people would usually say, the rest is history. They develop fast friendship, and that friendship blossom into love and their love becomes forever. Both Taehyung and Y/N are commonly known to be pretty much obsessed with one another, expressing their love to one another in the sweetest way possible that never fails to make the fans go crazy with adoration.

They were in love, and nothing could be more amazing than that.

"You must love him so much huh?" Y/N cocked her head to the side to see one of the girl group member, although familiar but she cant seem to put a name on the face, standing beside her, eyes looking straight at Taehyung as she swirled around her half empty glass.

"Yes. I do," Y/N answered, although feeling a little weird about the girl. Y/N herself has made quite a number of idol friends from her days of meeting them as Taehyung dates, but this girl is definitely not one of them. The girl smirked after hearing her answer.

"Too bad he doesnt love you as much," her next words came out without any real feelings attached to it as she take a sipped from her cup. Y/N raised an eyebrow at the unexpected answer.

What is her problem?

"Excuse me? Are you implying something?" The girl chuckled at Y/N's question as she down the rest of her drink and placed her glass on the bar counter behind her.

"I'm Nari by the way," she suddenly introduces herself. "I think it will do you a lot of good for you to remember my name," she glanced back to where Taehyung is still conversing with the other idol. "Have you ever wonder with who your beloved boyfriend spend time with while he's on tour?"

Y/N starts to feel that something is definitely not right with her last question. What is this girl up to?

"Urm, his band members? Obviously," to this answer Nari laughs out loud, tilting her head back, exposing her long beautiful neck.

"Maybe a part of it sweetheart. Look, Y/N is it?" she eyed Y/N up and down, obviously knowing fully well who she is. "You look like a nice girl, and I really dont want to do this, but," she took out something from her tiny clutch bag and placed it into Y/N's open palm. "If you would be so kind to please return this to Taetae. And tell him I say thanks for that great night," Nari winked and walks away, leaving a confused Y/N alone.

Y/N can feel her heart beat starts to race as she felt the cold metal against her skin, definitely recognizing what it is. She opened her palm and her suspicion is confirmed as she saw Taehyung's silver ring nestled in her palms. The ring that they bought together to matched with each other as a symbol of their love.

Y/N doesnt want to believe what she's seeing. She doesnt want to believe what Nari is implying.

It cant be true.

Taehyung loves her. He wouldnt do that. He wouldnt.

Would he?

But the cold metal against her skin brings Y/N back to reality. The harsh cold reality where her boyfriend's ring, his supposed most prized possesion, is found with some other girl.

Y/N immediately turned around and walked towards the exit, not even bothering to tell Taehyung or anybody else that she's leaving as she tried her best to wiped off the tears that start to cascade down her cheeks.

/////

"Baby, where the hell did you go? I was so worried! Why didnt you tell me you were leaving? I would have gone back home with you. You didnt even pick up my calls!" Taehyung fussed the moment he swing opened the door and saw Y/N standing by the mini bar, calmly sipping on her drink.

"Y/N? What's wrong with you? Do you even hear what I said?" Taehyung stride to the bar and placed his hands over hers that is laid flat on the bar counter. Y/N flinched and retracted her hands, making Taehyung confused. "Hey, baby, did something happen? Are you-"

"Taehyung, just stop it. Stop acting like you care," she snapped. Taehyung was surprised by her sudden attack.

"Okay...What the hell is going on Y/N? Baby, why are you acting this way?" Taehyung brows creased in worry. Y/N took her time to answer, first sipping on the rest of her drink, finishing it in one go.

"I think you will remember where you left this," Y/N dropped the ring inside his open palm and turned away once she placed her glass back on the counter. "And she told me to say thanks for the great night you gave her," Y/N turned away from the bar. Although at first confused, Taehyung eyes widen with recognition as he looks into his hand and saw what Y/N has given him.

His ring.

The identical ring he and Y/N wore as a symbol of their everlasting love and loyalty with each other.

The ring that Taehyung will quietly slipped off whenever he spend the night underneath Nari, tangled in her sheets, making her scream over and over again all night long.

The ring he took off to take his guilty mind off his beloved girlfriend whenver he is in another woman's arms.

The ring that in all his clumsiness, he left at Nari's and reminded her to give it back to him, never imagining that she would use this opportunity to take advantage of the situation and expose their infidelity to Y/N.

The ring that now has become the cause of Y/N's shattered heart.

Taehyung immediately looked up from the ring that use to represent their love, but now would only reminds them of his infidelity and take quick steps towards Y/N.

"No. Stop Tae. Please dont come any closer," Y/N raised a hand, her voice shakes with sadness although no tears graced her eyes. Taehyung stopped in his tracks. He would never thought there would be a day where Y/N wouldnt want him to come close.

And that feeling hurts like hell.

She wanted to believe the situation that is playing in her mind is not true. She wanted to hear Taehyung laughs and said she is overthinking things. That he actually left it in the dressing room, or the stage, or anywhere other than Nari's bed. But the look Taehyung gave her the moment he saw the ring says it all.

Taehyung is cheating on her.

"Y/N, please baby, let me-"

"No Tae," Y/N closes her eyes for a moment before opening them again, trying to find her strength. This is really happening. This is all not a dream. The only man in the world she loves so much, the one he gave her heart, body and soul fully to, finally breaks her heart. And there is nothing she can do to ease the numbing pain that is slowly creeping up her heart. "I dont want to know. I dont want to know how, or how long, or how it happened, or why. I dont want to know anything," Y/N tries her best to hide the quiver in her voice but its too obvious to Taehyung. His baby is hurting and its all his fault. "But what I do know is you broke my heart. You broke my trust. You threw away all the love I gave to you like it doesnt mean anything. You threw away all our years together like it never mattered to you. All I know is that this is over. We are over Tae," Y/N finished her sentence with a voice barely above a whisper, already losing all her strength.

Taehyung's eyes widen and his mouth quivers in disbelief.

"No Y/N. No. No. No! I'm.. baby, no!"

"Please Tae," Y/N whispered. "Dont make this any harder for me. Please leave. Leave Tae. I cant see you right now. Leave, and just let me be alone," Y/N closes her eyes as she plead, hoping to rid of Taehyung's face from her mind although she knows its not possible. Taehyung took quick steps to close the gap between them and tries to hold her arms, which Y/N immediately flicnhed away.

"Y/N, please dont do this. Please just let me explain. I cant live without you baby," Taehyung begs as he feel the panic rising in his chest.

"Fine. If you wont leave, then I will,"

Y/N grabbed her purse and spun on her heels to head to door. She turned around and face Taehyung one last time with glossy eyes, trying her hardest to blink back the tears. "You know Tae," she whispered, voice soft as she flicked her sad eyes to roam over Taehyung's handsome face for the last time, "I love you. I would have given up everything for you. And I'm sorry for thinking that maybe that is enough for you," she closes her eyes and a stray tear rolled down her cheeks which she quickly wiped away as she opened back her eyes. "I never thought that out of everyone that I met, you would be the one who would eventually breaks my heart," Y//N slipped off her identical ring from her finger to Taehyung's horror and placed it on the side table before opening the door.

"Goodbye, Kim Taehyung,"

/////

It didnt take long before the world is presented with the news that the perfect couple is officially no longer together. The world was angry, surprised and shocked to learn that Taehyung cheated on his perfect girlfriend.

To be honest, Taehyung himself didnt know why he did it in the first place.

Taehyung sat on his bed, staring blankly at his walls when Jimin walks in, holding his phone.

"Is this true Tae? You and Y/N are no longer together?" Taehyung turned his head to face his friend but only give him a blank stare, which is more than enough for Jimin to confirm what he needs to know.

"Holy fuck. What the hell happened?" Jimin took a seat beside his friend on the bed. Just like everybody else, the boys also rooted for Taehyung and Y/N. They love to see their brother happy, and being with Y/N seems to be doing exactly that. Taehyung stayed silent for a moment before he finally answers.

"I...I cheated on Y/N, Chim. I cheated on her with Nari,"

"What?!" Jimin cant control the shocked in his voice. "You did what?! And with Nari?!" Taehyung chose to ignore the obvious questions Jimin is shooting him with while Jimin tries to calm himself down, realizing he might have made Taehyung felt attacked. "Okay, okay. Tell me what happened Tae? Is it just a one time thing? I'm sure Y/N will forgive you. Everyone makes mistake. Everyone deserve a second chance, dont they?"

Taehyung sighed and buried his face in his hands.

"I dont think I deserve her forgiveness Chim. Its... its not a one time thing. I cheated on her everytime we went on tour. Every. Single. Time," Jimin is once again taken by surprised by his friend's confession. Shit, Taehyung is truly fucked now. A thought suddenly came to mind.

"Wait. Does this mean that everytime you declined our invitayion for dinner or hanging out at the club after our shows and you always have the do not disturb sign at the door after... you were with Nari?" Taehyung weakly nodded his head. Jimin mouth dropped open in shocked again. All these while the boys had thought Taehyung wanted some privacy to talk to Y/N whenever they were away on tour. Never would have they thought that Taehyung is actually fucking another girl all these while. Jimin never would have thought that the two would have taken cheating too far, to the point where Nari will come to wherever they are having their tour? That's just sick.

"What are you going to do now Tae? Do you even want her back?" Jimin asks softly. Taehyung once again nodded his head weakly.

"Yes," he runs his hand through his hair and that's when Jimin notice his wet eyes. "God, I made the stupidest mistake I could have ever make in my life Chim. I love her. I love her so damn much. Y/N is my perfect match in every way and I screw it up for some temporary lust. I want her back. I need her to come back. I need her Chim," Jimin kept quiet as his friend keeps on rambling. He sighed and looked down towards the floor, feeling sad for Taehyung but knows its his own damn mistake.

"Honestly Tae? I dont think that's up to you,"

/////

Days that lead after their breakup was hell to Taehyung. Nothing seems to go right. He didnt have the heart to give his best performance for any of his shows or to even put even a pinch of effort on his dance practice. The only thing he can think of is how to get Y/N back.

Y/N was completely serious when she told him that they were over. She blocked him on all her private social medias, and as well as his number. She didnt keep in contact with any of the boys even when they tried to, or any of their mutual friends. She even moved out from her old apartment. Taehyung have absolutely no way to contact her, or get updates about her, except from her public accounts which is filled with comments telling her to be strong and flirty remarks from various men, suggesting that now she is finally single, they are always available to replace Taehyung's place if she so desired, making Taehyung balled his fist in fury. What's even worse is the television is still filled with news about her daily life. Where she's been, what she's wearing and what she's been doing. Taehyung can only sit, frozen on the couch and watch Y/N graced the TV screen, flashing her exhausted but still beautiful smile. Y/N is the country sweetheart, she will always stay that way, and he is the asshole who broke her heart.

Looking at her from the glossy television screen, Taehyung wonders what has gotten into him to even thought of cheating when he already have the most perfect girl in the world. He has perfection but somehow he went for something else.

The news of their break up seems to act an invitation to Nari who keeps showing up to his show during backstage and of course, on his tours. The boys will just sit with awkward silent whenever Nari appeared, the complete opposite reaction from days when Y/N used to come and visit him during his shows. Feeling angry at himself and Nari for exposing them, he dragged her out from their dressing room and warned her to never appear in front of him ever again. He knows he is being an asshole. Its not fully Nari's fault. It takes two to cheat. But he rather be an asshole to her now than risk people seeing them together and lose all chances to ever be with Y/N again.

He closes his eyes after he sat back down on his makeup chair, trying to get rid of the images of a furious and crying Nari and his thoughts ran back to Y/N. God, he misses her. He miss her smile, her laughter, her kisses. He miss how she would usually be here backstage with him. Taking snippets and selfies to post on her page and how she will always keep the cutest one for her own personal keeping.

"I cant share everything about my boyfriend to everyone. Some of is for my eyes only. You are mine Tae. You are stuck with me forever," she giggled when Taehyung once asks her about it before they share a passionate kiss.

I will always be yours Y/N. Do you still want me to be yours?

Taehyung opened his eyes and quickly wiped away the tears that seems to trickled at the corner of his eyes when he heard soft footsteps coming from the dressing room next door.

EXO's dressing room.

"Did you hear that Y/N is finally single now?" Taehyung's ears quickly catch the soft voices at the mentioned of Y/N's name. Why is his sunbaenims talking about Y/N?

"Of course he does Suho-hyung. He keeps everything there is to know about her up to date, like a creepy stalker," another voice chuckled, which Taehyung immediately recognized as Sehun's.

"Shut up!"

"Ohhh you are blushing hyung! You like her dont you? Just admit it. All the other hyungs already knows aboit it too!" Sehun laughs. Taehyung cranks his neck to catch a glimpse of the third guy who is supposedly in love with his girlfriend.

"I do not! Just shut up!"

"Sorry Baek, but I'm with the maknae on this one. You are so in love with her, its getting disgusting," Suho added on from the maknae's teasing. "Maybe you can make your move now, while she's single. You know how people wants to be with her. With guys throwing themselves at her left and right, I bet she wont be single for long! After all, she's used to dating an idol anyway, so she will have no problem in dating you," the boys are silent for a while before Taehyung finally hears the voice he now know as Baekhyun's.

"I dont know. She's V's ex girlfriend. You know I'm friends with him. Isnt it breaking the bro code or something to go after his ex?" he sighed. Taehyung felt a little relief to hear his friend's word and smile a little.

"I know, I know. I'm friends with him too! But he's the dumbass who cheated on her. Its not like you would act on it if they are still together. They are over! Besides, doesnt it means that he didnt love her if he is willing to cheat? He probably wont even care,"

Baekhyun stayed quiet for a moment, pondering on his leader's words. "You know what. Maybe you are right hyung. I think I should go for it this time. I will make Y/N mine," come Baekhyun's determined voice, followed by a loud whoop who Taehyung presumed is from the other EXO's members who has joined the other three.

The dressing room is filled with cold silence as the other six boys look at each other, obviously having heard the same conversation as Taehyung did. Jungkook finally decides to speak up after a moment.

"Tae-hyung, are you-"

"I'm fine," he grunted, but he doesnt look fine at all as he balled his hand into fists. "That doesnt matter. Y/N loves me. I made a stupid mistake but I will make it right again. Y/N and me will be back together again. I will get her back. I know I will," he said, shutting the other boys right up, although he himself is not convinced by his own words as he turned to see Baekhyun's handsome face as him and his group passes by their room on their way to the stage.

/////

"And here, we have..." Y/N smile into the hand held camera as she knocked on the dressing room door before pushing it opened. Its another one of her backstage videos and she is doing a short interview with all the artists. Most of them already know her and dont usually mind her presence. Y/N stepped inside and cursed herself for not first checking which group this room belongs too. Seven pair of eyes turned to look at her with a smile, one with a particulay large boxy one.

Taehyung's face light up once he sees Y/N enters his dressing room with her camera. She must be doing one of her videos again, he thought. Taehyung is just ecstatic to just see her again. He misses her face so much. Taehyung took a step forward to lead her nearer to the group like he would usually do but Y/N quickly manuever her steps and went beside Namjoon instead, who is on the opposite side of Taehyung, making everybody stood awkwardly before Y/N cleared her throat, putting on a cheerful face and starts to ask the questions.

"And that's all the time we have for Bangtan!" Y/N greeted her viewers before she and the rest of the members waved goodbye before ending the recording.

"Thankyou guys. My viewers would be so happy to see you guys again. Bangtan havent appeared on my show since after... uhmm," Y/N stopped herself before she could continued, the boys all looking quietly at each other.

Before I cheated on you. Taehyung told himself as he hung his head low.

"Uhm ah, okay then. I should be going for my next interview. They are coming off stage soon," Y/N bowed and quickly make her way out, not noticing Taehyung followed after her until he grabbed her hand and turned her around to face him.

"Y/N,"

"Taehyung," Y/N answered back quietly, avoiding his eyes.

"Its been so long since you've call me by my full name..." he mumbled quietly. Y/N never calls him that ever since they got together. She will always go by Tae, Taetae or his personal favorite, baby. Taehyung would give anything to hear her calls him that again.

"Um... well. We both better get used to it. I cant be calling you anything else but that anymore," Taehyung ignored the pain he felt in his chest at her statement.

"How are you?" he nervously asked. Looking at her wide innocent eyes staring up at him, looking so beautiful without even the slightest make up on, Taehyung just wanted to pull her into his arms and just keep her in his embraced if he could right this moment but he knows he might not be able to do that ever again, and that realization makes him feel sick to the stomach.

"I... I'm doing okay. I guess," she replied with a soft smile.

"That's... that's good," an awkward siilent as Y/N fiddles with her fingers, waiting for Taehyung to search for something to say. He has never been at a loss of words with Y/N before and its killing him. He wants everything to go back to normal. If he could just turn back time, he wishes he never met Nari and he never even thought of breaking Y/N's heart. But everything is just too late now.

"Y/N, I miss you,"

Taehyung blurted out, taking Y/N by surprised. Y/N sighed as she lowered her gaze.

"Taehyung... dont,"

"But its true. I miss you. I miss you so much Y/N," Taehyung found a bit of courage when he sees Y/N is still standing here and not running away like he expect her too after his sudden confession. He took a step closer and took hold of her soft hands, which she didnt pull away. "Dont you... dont you miss me at all?"

"I do," Y/N closes her eyes. "I miss you every single day, it hurts," she pulled her hands away.

"Then, cant you give me a chance to make up for my mistakes?"

"I wish I could Taehyung. But everytime I told myself to try, I imagined you and her, and my heart breaks all over again. I can never even imagine myself falling in love with anyone else and I'm dying everyday when I remember that you dont even love me enough to think the same. It kills me when I think about how I used to be unable to fall asleep without you by my side whenever you are on tour because I miss you too much but you were sound asleep next to her, tangling under her sheets. I feel like crumbling when I'm reminded how you use to smile and told me you love me but in reality you never really did. I'm dying inside Taehyung. You and her... I just..."

Taehyung felt his heart ached, breaking. This is the first time since they broke up that Y/N really tells him how she felt. Taehyung wanted to tell her none of it is true. He loves her. When he told her he loves her, he really meant it. Nari could never even compare to Y/N. Not even a bit. Taehyung didnt know why he cheated. He blamed it on his lust. His desires as a hot blooded men, but that is not enough to make it right. Nothing could ever make it right. Y/N looked so defeated, fallen, that if burning every inch of himself could make her smile again, Taehyung would do it in a blink of an eye. But it could not, nothing could.

"I still love you Taehyung," Y/N suddenly voiced out, snapping him out of his thoughts. He looks at her, feeling a ray of hope. "But I dont want to anymore,"

Taehyung finally understand what heartbreaks really meant upon hearing Y/N last words. How can he live his days in a world where Y/N, his angel Y/N, dont even want to love him anymore?

"Y/N-"

"Hey Tae darling," Nari suddenly appeared out of no where, linking her hand around Taehyung's arms. She smiled at Taehyung before flicking her eyes towards Y/N.

"Oh. Hey. We met at the after party the other day right?" She smirked. Y/N just nodded and her eyes went to Taehyung's face who is now lined with panic as he tries to shake himself out from Nari's hold.

"Y/N, Y/N, baby, this is not what it looks-" but Y/N quickly bowed and give the two of them a small smile before running off to the other direction.

/////

"Ouch,"

"Oh shit sorry. I didnt think anyone would be sitting here. Are you..." Baekhyun stopped mid sentence when he sees who is actually sitting on the ground, leaning against the door that he just swung opened and his heart starts to race.

Its Y/N.

"...okay?"

Y/N quickly wiped her puffy eyes and her pink runny nose before quickly standing up and bowed. "I'm sorry. I didnt know anyone would be using this door," she bowed again and start to move away when Baekhyun stopped her.

"Wait!" Y/N turned around with a look of confusion. "Urm ahh... are you okay? You dont look okay? Have you been crying? People dont usually cry at musuc shows," Baekhyun rambled on. Its his first time to actually talk to Y/N face to face and there is no way he's letting this opportunity pass although he silently cursed himself for stammering and asking such uncool questions. Y/N giggled at his question.

"Dont your fans usually cry when they got to see you guys perform live or something?" Baekhyun laughs. He never would have thought that A) Y/N would recognized who he is and B) Would respond to his lame attempt of conversation with a joke.

"Well, you dont seem like the kind who would cry over an idol," he flashed his beautiful smile. Y/N laughs lightly.

"Then you obviously dont know me," she answered with a small voice.

That asshole V must be the one who made her cry again.

Baekhyun thought to himself as he thinks about what Y/N meant. His mind clicked back to the scene he saw a few moments ago, where V is dragging one of the girl idol inside an empty dressing room. He has a stern look on his face but the girl is obviously hanging onto his arm like he is the last meal on earth. Y/N must have seen them together.

"Then the idol that makes such a beautiful girl like you cry must be the stupidest idol alive," he replied. He knows it sounds cheesy as hell, but it feels right to say it to Y/N. She laughs.

"Thankyou for making me laugh," she wiped her eyes. "And sorry for blocking the door. I shall get going now,"

"No!" Baekhyun shouted out of panic to see her leave. Y/N looks more confused than ever. "I mean... since I hit you with the door, why dont I give you a tour of EXO's dressing room? The members are all there. It would be good for your show. You never asked us to be on your show before," he faked pouted.

"Wait. You know who I am?" Y/N was surprised. She didnt expect for such a big group to actually know her.

"Of course I do. You are Y/N! You are the best social influencer and Youtuber out there. I have your account on subscribe," he winked. "So what do you say? For the sake of your show?" After pondering for a moment, Y/N agrees. What does she has to lose anyway.

Meeting the rest of EXO is something Y/N could never have imagined herself doing. They are nice, friendly, humble and funny. And there are just so many of them. They made the content of her videos more funny and entertaining and her visit to their dressing room never ceased of laughter.

"Quick work Baek," Suho whispered in his ear as the leader passes Baekhyun's with a grin on his face. Baekhyun just rolls his eyes and turned back to watch Y/N naturally conversing with his members, a smile crept on his face without him realizing.

How in the world can someone cheat on someone so perfect? V you are such an idiot. You truly are.

/////

Taehyung tapped his fingers on his computer table, anxious, while his mind cant stop repeating what he saw earlier today. After his conversation with Y/N, which was rudely interrupted by Nari, he dragged Nari off to warn and remind her once again that what they had is a mistake and its over. He huffed back to his dressing room and that's when he heard the voice as he pass by EXO's dressing room, Y/N''s laughter. He peeks his head through the crack and saw Y/N laughing so hard with the members, holding out her camera. She must be doing a show with them. But what bothers him the most is the sight of damn Baekhyun always by her side. After the conversation he heard earlier, that is the sight that he never wishes to see.

Teahyung quickly types in Y/N Youtube account and scroll for her latest upload, clicking on the most recent ones, which is of course, her interview with EXO earlier. Taehyung restlessly finished watching the clip, hating every moment of it. But what makes his blood boil the most are the comments below.

Awww Y/N and Baek looks so adorable together.

Do I smell a new ship coming?

God, I hope Baek and Y/N gets together.

I ship ship ship ship Y/NHyun forever.

Y/N deserves to be happy. And look how happy Baekhyun is making her!

Taehyung slammed his laptop shut and buried his head in his hands. He cant lose Y/N. He cant. Y/N is his everything. His perfect match.

That damn hyung!

/////

The gossips about Y/N and Baekhyun are getting ridiculous. Everywhere Taehyung turns, there are stories about them. The only thing that helps calm his heart is whenever someone asks Y/N about Baekhyun, she will profusely denied that they are in a relationship. Always saying that she only respected him as a senior idol in the industry, although Baekhyun in the other hand, will usually flashed his tantalizing smile when asked the same question, creating more assumption about the two.

He tried to be civil. He really did. After all, Taehyung knows he doesnt have any right to stop Y/N from dating anyone else she wants, but that thought still kills him inside. He kept his cool whenever he met Baekhyun backstage or at some shows, although what he really wanted to do is told him to back away from his girl. But Taehyung finally loses his cool when he saw the two of them together one day.

Y/N and Baekhyun was invited for a show and when they are done, Taehyung caught a glimpse of them backstage. He saw how his sunbae tucked Y/N's hair behind her ear and whisper something to her. No matter how hard he tried, he still cant hear what was being said but it doesnt matter when he saw Baekhyun leaned in and kiss her right on the lips. It took Y/N a few seconds to recover from her shocked and realized what was happening before she pushed him away, stammering what Taehyung guess is 'I'm sorry' and ran off, leaving the older man in dazed. Taehyung knows he should just let it go. Y/N is no longer his and she didnt want the kiss. She even pushed him away. But the thought of some other man laying his hand on her, touching Y/N like what Taehyung used to do set him on fire, and without realizing, Taehyung has already jumped on his sunbae and land a punched across his face, making him fall to the ground.

Taehyung stood, watching the older man laying on the ground with blazing eyes, chest heaving up and down from his heavy breathing.

"I'm not going to fight you," Baekhyun breaks the silenced as he wiped the blood that trickled down from his lips.

"What?"

"I'm not going to fight you V. Yes, I think you already know that I love her. And yes, I still dont think you deserve her after the shit you've done to her," Taehyung growled. "But I love her enough to just want her to be happy. If she decides its you who can make her happy and wants you back, there is nothing in the world that I can do change her mind. And if she decides she dont want you and chose me instead, there is also nothing I can do to change that V. Everything is up to her.So rather than fighting me, dont you think you should focus on getting Y/N's forgiveness first? I dont want to fight you. I care for you like a brother V," Baekhyun sighed. "And truth be told, I dont think Y/N will ever love me like she did with you," he patted Taehyung's back and limped away, leaving Taehyung stunned and regretting his actions.

/////

Taehyung laid down on his bed, still thinking about the whole Baekhyun and Y/N debacle. He only saw him trying to kiss her and he's already loosing it. How must Y/N felt when she finds out that he actually slept with someone else? Taehyung close his eyes, feeling the tears starts to pricked the back of his eyes. Why is he such an asshole? Why did he do this to Y/N? What was he thinking? So many questions but none that he can answer. Taehyung almost drowned himself in self pity when his door slammed opened, revealing a fuming Y/N, both hands on her hips, stalking towards him with a purpose.

"Kim Taehyung! Did you just seriously punched Baekhyun across the face? Are you crazy?!" Taehyung immediately stood up from his bed, surprised by her yelling presence.

"Y... Y/N?"

"Sorry Taetae. She was knocking on the front door like crazy. I thought the door would fall off! She came straight in here when I let her in," Hoseok peeked from the door before quickly walks away after offering his explanation, not wanting to get involved in what seems to be a lover's spat.

"Explain yourself!"

"I'm not sorry for what I did Y/N! He got his hands all over you! How can I just stand and watch someone claimed whats mine right in front of me?" Taehyung crosses his arms across his chest, not backing down although an angry Y/N did scare him a little.

"I am not yours Taehyung! We broke up a long time ago! And whatever it is, it still doesnt give you the right to go around and punch people!"

"No! You were mine Y/N and you will be again. You were made for me and I am made for you. I know you felt it too. I know you can feel that I am the one for you. Why are you so angry? This is because of Baekhyun isnt it? Because I hurt your boyfriend's face?" Taehyung growled, spatting his last words. He really wished he could land another punched on Baekhyun's face right now when he thinks about how Y/N is defending him right now.

"I dont want you back Taehyung! I dont want to be with you! I dont want to love you! Cant you understand that? This has nothing to do with Baek! We are just friends," Y/N is frustrated. Why is Taehyung acting like this? Why is he making things more complicated?

"This is what you call being friends? Him trying to kiss you?!" Y/N seethed in anger as Taehyung yelled at her. Who does he think he is?

"Why do you care Taehyung? You are no longer my boyfriend. What I do and who I do it with has nothing to do with you. You lost your right the moment you decide to fuck Nari when you are still together with me!" Y/N is finally crying now. She had tried so hard to composed herself in front of him, but the memory of his infidelity always breaks her heart all over again. "You lost your right when you break my heart into pieces Tae..." Y/N sobbed, her face are now wet with tears. Taehyung's heart ached like crazy to see his baby crying so hard, hurt and broken because of him. He quickly walks to her and engulfed her in a tight hug, tucking her head underneath his chin. It also didnt get passed him that Y/N finally called him Tae again, making his heart skipped a beat.

"Y/N... I'm am so so sorry for what I did. Please baby..."

"Just let me go Tae. Please let me end this pain that I'm feeling. Let me go..." Y/N plead between her sobs, making Taehyung cry with her. He didnt know he had broke Y/N down this bad, but still, he cant give her what she wanted. He cant live without her.

"No! I wont let you go Y/N. I just... cant. Im not lying when I said I cant live without you baby. Nari is a mistake. A huge damn fucking mistake that I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. Nothing could excuse what I did. And nothing will be a good enough reason for you to forgive me. But no matter what happen, I'm going to do it with you by my side, as my wife,"

"What?!"

"Y/N i love you. And I know. I know I dont deserve you. Especially after this stupid shit that I've done. Hell, no one in this world deserves you. You are an angel. But you are an angel sent for me. To lead my way back. Im lost without you Y/N. You are my perfect match in every way. Marry me Y/N. You dont have to forgive me right now, but please. Please please please dont leave me. I cant live without you. I'm begging you," Taehyung fell to his knees, hugging Y/N tight by tbe waist. Whatever punishment she decides to give him, he will accept it, no questions asked. He will do anything, anything at all, except leaving her.

"I cant Tae... I cant do this," Y/N cried, her tears falling on his arms as he pried his hands away and ran off.

Ever since that day, Y/N kept on receiving weird packages delivered to her house from Taehyung. A single fork, a salt shaker, a one sided glove, a one sided sock, a single earring, a single chopstick and whole bunch of other incomplete things. Its always wrapped nicely in a box, completed with a ribbon, and always comes with the same note everytime.

Me without you. Xoxo Tae

Y/N finally had enough and decide to personally asks Taehyung to stopped when she came home one day to received about a 100 pieces of one sided shoes. A 100 of left sides. Y/N thought Taehyung has gone crazy and immediately pays him a visit.

"Stop sending me useless things. I dont want to hear from you anymore Tae," Y/N sighed in frustration the moment Taehyung open the door to his dorm.

"All those things, they are useless isnt it?" Was all he asked with his lifeless and tired eyes.

"Yes! Why do you feel the need to send me 100 left side of a shoe? And a single chopstick? Stop playing games Taehyung. This is getting exhausting," Y/N wailed, about to turn and exit the dorm but what he said next stopped her.

"Thats me,"

"What?" Y/N asked, irritated and confused.

"Thats me without you. Useless," Taehyung raised his head to stare deep into her eyes. For the longest time after they broke up, Y/N can finally see the pain, hurt, regret and sadness in his dark eyes.

"Tae-"

"Im just like those things when I'm not with you Y/N. Useless, worthless, impratical, purposeless and dysfunctional,"

"Tae, stop,"

"Its true Y/N," Taehyung closes the gap between the two of them and held her tight by the shoulders. "I love you so much. Y/N, baby, do you know what perfect means to me?" He peered into her eyes, trying to see if she is still listening to him. "It means two things that are completely different but complimented each other in every way. You are everything that I am not Y/N, that is why you complete me. So tell me Y/N, how can I ever be complete without you? How can a spoon be complete without its fork? A chopstick without its partner? Even with a hundred pieces, a left side of a shoe is still isnt complete without its right side. That's me without you baby,"

"Taehyung..." Y/N is trying hard to blinked back the tears. Why is Taehyung saying all this? Why cant he just let her go without reminding her about his feelings?

"Come back to me Y/N," Taehyung whispered. "Dont you ever wonder why you still bother to put up with my shit even after we broke up? Its because you cant move on from me either baby. I am a part of you. We are made for each other. We are not complete without one another. You are what prefected my whole being Y/N. Without you I'm just sugar without salt, egg without the yolk, sea without the sand, sun without the moon. You are my perfect match in every way. I might be an old torned right side of a shoe, flawed and made the stupidest mistake anyone can think off, but I'm still your right side of shoe." Taehyung gave her a tiny smile. “Let me make it up to you for all of my mistakes. Let me love you right this time,”

"What do you say baby? Will you come back to me please? Will you be my right shoe?" He laughs a little at the comparison, making Y/N smile between her tears. "Will you give us a chance to be the perfect couple once again?"

Y/N leaned closer and placed her forehead against Taehyung's. To be honest, she's exhausted of fighting her own heart to stay away from him. She's tired of being sad, lonely and hurt. She's tired of missing him. Taehyung was right. He is her perfect match in every way, she could never stay away for long. Yes, he broke her heart, but he also regretted it, and he realized what he did wrong and he had also suffered because of it. Humans arent perfect, and that is what make Taehyung and her perfect for each other.

"Its going to take a long time to fix this Tae...but..." Taehyung looked at her, waiting for her next sentence in full anticipation. "Yes. Yes Tae, I will be your right shoe," she laughs as she finally gives in and accept his kiss.

#bts #bts fanfic #bangtan #bts scenario #bangtan boys #kpop scenario #bangtan seonyeondan #kpop fanfic #bts fiction #bts taehyung #kim taehyung #taehyung scenario #bts v #taehyung angst #taehyung #taehyung fanfic

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dekiiru · 6 years ago

Text

okay sorry it took so long for me to write and post this, but im home now and in the silence to be able to gather my thoughts and the peace to be able to write them down. a lot of this is me working through my own thoughts as i write it so im sorry its so long, but im still a little bit confused on how to feel about this, largely, i think, due to shock.

i had no clue about almost any of the stuff julie did or said to people. i knew of the miles thing to some extent (i didnt know why miles was uncomfortable with him, i only knew about the aftereffects) and i knew about the vague story surrounding why maddy, jay and marina didnt like him, although i had never actually spoken to them before.

my initial reaction to the callout was to get defensive, because that was someone i considered my friend and although somewhere i think i knew or had some inkling that he was like this, i chalked it up to mistakes and people jealous of his popularity because i wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. but the more i read the callout (i never finished it, partially because i had to take screencaps of the posts and painstakingly slowly read through them because the nature of my work makes it very difficult to focus on things for more than a few seconds at a time and partially because by the time i stopped, i had already made my decision regarding him) the more i realized that defending his actions isnt something i can, should, or would do.

and regarding the “sc/hool sho/oter” post, i live in america. in fact, i lived about 5-15 minutes away from where one of these sc/hool sho/otings happened (i lived for several years in roseburg, oregon, and the sh/ooting at u.c.c. happened a year or two after i moved to where i live now). i knew people who went there. i knew one person who died. the day it happened i broke down in the middle of marching band because i had no idea whether or not the friends i knew for three years were alive or dead and that fucking terrified me. and when it happened, i told julie over discord (because i was working when i heard about it) that i did not condone his actions or words and that it was wrong of him to say, but (and i still stand by this), it is not the place of anyone who was not even indirectly affected by a shooting to decide whether or not someone is worthy of redemption. no, julie should not have reblogged that post and while it is totally fine for you to be uncomfortable to interact with him because of it, i think only people who have been directly affected by sc/hool shoo/tings have the right to decide if he is worthy of forgiveness - for that. the rest of it is a different matter.

a few months ago i actually went through this with someone else. i wrote a callout post for daisy, a mercy blog in the overwatch fandom who deleted shortly after i wrote it. (if any of you want to see that callout, let me know and ill send it to you. i will admit here and now that there was something i shouldnt have added in there, but it was added with good intentions, but regardless, daisy’s callout really has nothing to do with the situation with julie and nothing to do with what is happening now. shes gone. im just making a connection to this situation.) it was a very similar situation; manipulation, hypocrisy, turning people against others, saving face and caring more about reputation than anything else. and while i was absolutely terrified of daisy’s situation happening again, where i get really really close with someone and then find out they manipulated the fuck out of me, i was also scared to lose friends, and i think thats a big part of why i wanted so badly to match or whatever, because i really really really wanted a place to belong, where i felt special and unique and yet part of a group and in the end that really fucked me over and made me blind to what was happening. i defended him (albeit not for long, ive only spoken to him for a few months now) for things i shouldnt have defended him for because i was terrified of losing people and im so sorry about that.

as for the callout itself: i will say that i do think there are two sides to every story. im not saying julie is a victim in this or that he is to be sympathized with, because at the end of the day, he hurt a lot of people and its good that the word was spread before more people got hurt. i dont agree that it is “a cis persons responsibility to make sure people know they are cis” because that kind of mindset will only lead to a witch hunt, but im not going to make a fuss about this because i know some other genderqueer people are more uncomfortable about cis people than i am and at the end of the day that is a personal opinion. i think some of the callout was worded with bias which probably, in some situations, did slightly twist the truth, ONLY because it is a callout and it is really difficult not to twist the truth in them even when they are written as formally as possible, HOWEVER while most of the time i disregard callouts (because a lot of them are written entirely based on personal bias because someone doesnt like someone else rather than on an actual need for people to be warned), this one was written very eloquently and very well. as someone who has been on that side of things, im really really proud of the people who contributed to it, especially those that werent afraid of giving their names out, because that is a really really hard thing to do, especially when its for someone really popular. i remember when i wrote one for daisy, i was almost sick to my stomach with the anxiety, and really pleasantly surprised when it was received much better than i expected. i am really proud of you guys, and thank you for letting me and everyone else know the truth of what happened.

however, that callout was not an attack, nor was it intended to be, and by people sending julie hate, youre just making the situation worse. i believe, in my personal opinion, that the best thing to do is to block and move on. we can come together as a community, and while julies actions wont go away, hopefully we can heal and understand from them. and i really want to thank manny for that post, because similarly to daisy, it is the people closest to the person in question who are left most in the dark. as julies friend, i had no idea about almost anything that was there and honestly, im glad now that i do. thank you for understanding that the people who associated with him are not always aware of what he did.

anyway this is really disorganized and im sorry, thats just my thoughts on the matter (as much as i can think anyway), and i hope it makes some sort of sense. i will be hardblocking julie on all of my blogs and changing the urls to both my izuku blog and my ouma blog and my icon for this blog. if you choose to continue to interact with julie, thats on you and i wont reprimand you, block you or unfollow you for it. please do not associate me with him anymore, though, add me to any groups anywhere with him, or tag me and him in the same posts.

and, as i said before, because i really want to get this point across, if you are uncomfortable with me because i interacted with him so much and so intimately and wish to hard or softblock or unfollow me, that is perfectly fine and i understand completely. i only ask if you softblock me that you let me know so that i dont accidentally follow you again, because i dont want to make anyone uncomfortable with my presence.

#⥺ ⥼ ❛ toes ? toes ? toes ? t ( ooc. )#long post //

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heyitsyn · 4 years ago

Text

The Past It Will Remain

Side Story!Oikawa Angst - Before ‘Enough’/ Before Making Up

a/n: dklsfjsldfkjsd yes we have a mona x seijoh manager really short story right now and uwuwuwu dont get confused you guys!!! this is an x reader so youre still y/n so im just going to give the current seijoh first year manager a name to avoid confusion :’)

so yall remember that oc @animesportboys made right? so im using her for today so manager-chan’s name is naoki :’)

okay? okay

and lets pretend nao joined before the practice match bc i mentioned in kuws ep 2 she joined later but in this one, she joined earlier on

and kunimi!sister!reader doesnt exist in this one

YALL IM UNKNOWINGLY CREATING A UNIVERSE WAIT A MINUTE I NEED TO FIGURE THIS OUT

request:

- WAIT OMG i need a side story to the oikawa angst,,, set after the practice match,, the reader getting jealous of seijoh's manager because everyone can tell that the team is in love with their manager,,, and reader feels so down especially with how oikawa and iwa seem to be all over seijoh manager-chan -- chi ☆

for the “jealous of oikawa and manager chan” request with y/n (mona) it’s set before they get back together!! — chi ☆

okayokayokay lets start

so as seen in the top this is a side story so this is kinda a filler of what happened during that big gap before they made up

so lets bring a bit of background into this

oikawa’s knee was perfectly fine earlier that day

like the mans was able to do serves and sets and jump no problem

but buckle to the knee and he came crashing down to the ground

ofc nao, our lovely babie manager, was worried as hell so she sent him to the infirmary to get checked out

‘eieiei~~ nao-chan, oikawa-san is fine-’

‘i swear to god oikawa-san if i hear ‘fine’ out of your mouth again i will show this cotton ball in your nose’

dksljfdlks chile what

‘oikawa-san is okay then-’

*cue nao shoving two cotton balls in his nostrils*

and as much as she wanted to stay and make sure he stays resting, the team needed her so she went back to the gym

poor oikawa was now in the empty nurse room and he finally was able to freely cry

it hurt like an actual biatch and he was even amazed he was able to hold the pain in for so long

our mans is so strong like what the heck :’(

and the pain only added when he saw you

oikawa wanted to go back to the gym so he ventured out of the room and into the hallway only to see you and some gray-haired guy

your hair was tucked behind your ear as you filled the bottle so he was able to see the side of your face clearly

god you are so beautiful

and he cant believe he let you go

his shock came out of his mouth as a breathless call for your name made you turn around and notice his presence

but the real pain settled in when you claimed to not know him anymore

was that it?

nearly 15 years of friendship gone?

‘not anymore’

bullshit

oikawa’s eyes shook and his hands trembled as the all-familiar feeling of intense fear appeared

as if that sentence was the last confirmation that you no longer wanted him

you no longer needed him

you were saying your farewells

he didnt even notice you leave with the karasuno player as his feet stayed planted on the floor and refusing to move

his breathing started to get heavy and he tried to take a step but a dull aching pain sent him falling to the ground

a silent cry of pain was the only thing that came out of him not from his knee,

but from a broken heart

when you found him down that hallway later, he was already dried up with tears

shrivelled and curled up into a ball of loneliness only to intensify the pain at your last goodbye

as you walked away, you clenched your fist at his quiet whimpers, pleads for you not to leave

but you knew you deserved better

you knew your worth and he was not it

DKSLFJDKJSFLDKF BRO I DONT REALLY KNOW EITHER BC HE HIT ME BUT THEN HES OIKAWA YANNO? LIKE IM SO CONFLICTED I HATE IT HERE

yet why did it hurt so much when you saw him and that girl interacting

you were in the gym, tending to the players, when you saw him walk in with an unknown girl by his arm

were his cries all a lie?

an act?

his desperate actions of wanting you back only to turn around and hold another girl?

you watched as the girl glared at him and scolded him while he laughed and ruffled her hair

you should look away and not care

maybe he was right

but he was also wrong

it wasnt him just being unfair

it was you too

the entire match, you watched as the entire seijoh team, even kunimi and kindaichi, smother this girl with affection and love

‘aww~~~ y/n-chan is so sweet to makki-san~!’

‘our little wifey~!’

SKLDFJSKDLFJSDMATTSUN PLEASE STOP IT

hell even iwa was practically giving this girl heart eyes!

kageyama noticed your stare and he sighed, knowing you were probably sad and grovelling over her

‘y/n-san, that’s nao. koga naoki. she transferred over to kitaiichi in my second year. shes really nice and i guess she continued being a manager-’

you nodded, watching her

so she was your successor

your failure of finding one made you feel guilty for years but knowing this unnervingly nice and charming girl taking over settled it down

AND MY GOD WAS SHE SWEET

you struggled to hate her as she audibly chided oikawa over his knee

‘youre already hurt yet you continue to play! youre going to get hurt more! do you want to hurt more? bc i can hurt you more by kicking your knee! maybe that would make you sit down and rest then?!’

it was a spunk you saw in yourself from way back in the day

and the way she ran around to give everyone towels to wipe their sweat off and even doing it herself to other players

and she even cheered on karasuno!

DEAR ASAHI SHE WAS JUST PERFECT

there was no way you could hate her

even after the match, you watched as the girl approached takeda and your team

‘hello, i forgot to introduce myself. im koga naoki, first year manager of aoba johsai volleyball team. you played really well today and you guys are so talented and i hope-’

as she continued to talk, your eyes moved from her to the blue-shirted boys who were watching her with such pride and love

as if she was the most beautiful thing in the world

but that didnt matter to you

what really mattered was what he was doing

and with the way oikawa would look at her, watch her with love-filled eyes, there is definitely no hope anymore

the .5 percent of hope you didnt know you clung on finally slipped and you knew he loves her

maybe it should be time he and you moved on

it was all in the past and the past it will remain

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musicallady7 · 4 years ago

Text

•HER•

Richard and I strolled by the river Seine admiring the streets of Paris. Everything was so aesthetically picturesque. Like a pretty painting you'd see in a museum. The river below was calm with gentle waves rippling by the water. Birds swooped down to the river with their wings flapping to get home as the sun began to set. The sky was graced with a fine line of peach clouds, the bright orange light slowly beginning to fade away as a midnight blue sky loomed over it.

Bikers pass over the bridge, riding right past us. The cool breeze blew back my hair, conveniently keeping the strands out of my face as it lightly ruffled the flowy skirt of my dress. At nearby restaurants, couples toasted over a glass of red wine, as a little car with a family of four drove by.

Then there was Richard. He makes this scene perfect.

His face that beamed with warmth looked so radiant in the last light of the sun. A soft smile rested on his lips. I pursed my lips and felt the heat on my cheeks when my mind painted a very sensuous image of how his lips would feel on mine. His ginger red hair that contrasted against the orange lighting of the sunset was combed neatly and looked soft to touch. I was tempted to run a hand through his beautiful red locks. His emerald green eyes matched the military uniform he wore. I was delighted beyond words to hear he came home from the war safely. I was afraid I'd never see him again.

I grasped his hand that held mine a little tighter, afraid he would disappear like a beautiful mirage. He felt like a daydream.

I stared a bit longer than I hoped. He sensed me looking and met my eyes. I immediately averted my gaze somewhere else feeling my cheeks heat up.

This all seemed like a scene in a movie, but that's how it always seemed with Richard. He had quite the talent to make it all feel surreal as if it were coming off the pages of my favorite novels.

We passed by a vintage themed flower shop, where a myriad of beautiful bouquets were displayed outside in painted artsy buckets. The sweet scent of the flowers soothed me and made me exhale deeply. Richard abruptly stopped walking, gazing at the bouquets. I followed his example stopping to appreciate the flowers as well.

"They look pretty." I muttered to myself brushing my fingers lightly over their delicate petals.

"Eira" he called me, getting my attention.

"Yeah?" I asked sending him a small glance before turning back to the flowers.

"Wait here" he replied, as he motioned with his hand to stay where I was. I nodded silently, a bit distracted by the flowers. From my peripheral vision, I see him running inside the store. I wait outside as he asked, just looking around. Soon enough he walks out with a bouquet of white and pastel pink camellias in one hand.

He hands the bouquet to me, placing it in my hand "For you"

I look at him, then back at the flowers, then back up at him a couple times before I could respond. "Th-thanks" I stuttered in a small voice being absolutely flustered.

Like a schoolgirl, I tuck a strand of my platinum blonde hair behind my ear before daring to actually meet his light green eyes that bore into my soul. God, those eyes. They make me sigh dreamily when I think of them.

I still had a hard time comprehending that he actually loves me sometimes. It just feels so unreal still. Then he does all these things, says all these things, he's so sweet and sincere. I don't know if he does it conciously or unconciously but even just by the way he looks at me, like now, I can feel his adoration and love. My heart just melts. How can I not love him back?

•HIM•

After dinner we decided to walk around Paris a bit more. It was later in the night and there were only a few people left in the streets now, including me and Eira. As we walked around, I notice she would glance at the flowers then at me often. Her mind was preoccupied by something.

Suddenly, the rain started to pour down heavily. We both exclaimed in surprise being soaked from head to toe. I grabbed her hand as we ran to take cover under a small outdoor roof of a closed restaurant.

"Well that was an unexpected turn of events" she said with a laugh, looking up at the grey stormy sky that used to be clear and filled with stars earlier.

I grimaced at the sudden change of the weather. "I guess that ruins a nice evening walk"

"Hmm" she hummed thoughtfully, smiling widely afterwards. "It doesnt have to you know" she placed her bouquet at a table making sure it wouldn't fly off. She then took my hand and dragged me out to the empty streets the raindrops showering down on us. She jumped and whooped in excitement, stretching her arms upwards.

"Eira what are you doing? You might catch a cold" I warned her as I quickly took my coat off to wrap around her. She removed the coat and hung it on my shoulders.

"Richard, if I catch a cold, you'll be there to take care of me anyway. Now come on!" She beckoned me to play in the rain with her.

She started to twirl around and splash on the puddles, laughing out loud. This is the most carefree I've seen her be. She noticed me standing there just watching her with an amused look and splashed a puddle my way. I made an even bigger splash her way.

She gasped in surprise and laughed mischievously. "Oh, so that's how its gonna be!"

She wouldn't back down, she wanted to get her revenge. She ran to a store and took a bucket that was catching rainwater. She lifted it with ease and emptied its contents on me. I shut my eyes tight as I was drenched from head to toe. She threw her head back in laughter, then bending down and slapping her knee.

"Im going to get you!" I chased after her and she immediately ran to avoid getting caught. It came to a point where we chased each other round and round and round a car. The cycle broke when I jumped over the hood and caught her, wrapping my arms around her waist. She shrieked in surprise, giggling uncontrollably as I spun her around in the air until she got dizzy.

"Okay okay you win. Put me down now" she gasped breathlessly as she tried to catch her breath.

I placed her back down on the ground. Once she was on her feet, she stumbled slightly and placed her hands on my shoulders to lean on me for support. My hands never left her waist. She looked up at me beaming with her frosty blue eyes. I observe them thoroughly and for the first time, noticed that she had a snowflake pattern in the irises of her eyes. I realize our close proximity and felt a shiver run down my spine at how close we were.

"Dance with me" she whispered.

"There's no music"

She chuckled softly and replied "Close your eyes and listen closely"

I did as she asked. I could hear the rain pitter patterning on the rooftops. The wind rattling the windows. The movement of the river nearby. The sound of our light breathing. Straining my ears, I listened closer. That's when I heard it. Soft music playing a soothing tune from afar. It was faint but it was there.

"I hear it" I told Eira who smiled widely. We began to sway to the tune as she slipped her arms around my neck, pulling me closer. We stared into each other's eyes as we danced focusing only on each other. When we waltzed on the empty street of Paris time seemed to stop. There was no one else in the world but us.

My breath hitched as Eira leaned in closer to sing softly in my ear.

Des nuits d'amour à plus finir

Un grand bonheur, qui prend sa place

Des ennuis des chagrins s'effacent

Heureux, heureux, à en mourir

Her voice soothed me. Like there was no trouble in the world. She sounded as soft and gentle as an angel. She has me enchanted. I am hypnotized by the way the words elegantly flow from her lips. I am trapped by her icy blue eyes. At this moment I knew I was always going to be hers.

Quand il me prend dans ses bras

Qu'il me parle tout bas

Je vois la vie en rose

Il me dit des mots d'amour

Des mots de tous les jours

Et ça m'fait quelque chose

She continued to sing as we made the street our dance floor. Light on our toes, it almost felt like we were waltzing on air, secure in each other's embrace. Holding her close, I basked in her grace and beauty. All I could focus on in the moment was her. How elegant her every move seemed. The way she smiled. How her pale skin looked absolutely radiant in the moonlight.

Il est entré dans mon cœur

Une part de bonheur

Dont je connais la cause

C'est toi pour moi, moi pour toi dans la vie

Tu me l'as dit, m'as juré pour la vie

Et, dès que je t’aperçois

Alors je sens en moi

Mon cœur qui bat

La-la-la, la-la-la

La, la, la-la

She continued to hum gently as I spun her around and lowered her body to dip. I slowly brought her back up, my eyes never leaving hers. She was truly ethereal, and she captivated me in every way. There was no escape. No matter if she felt the same way or not, my heart belonged to her.

We stood in the middle of the dimlit streets of Paris at night. The rain poured down on us in a cold shower. The moon was a subtle silhouette in a puddle nearby. The soft music was masked behind the whistle of the wind.

And there's Eira. She is what makes this scene perfect.

We held our breaths as we stepped closer and closer to each other. She slowly brought her hand up and caressed my cheek. I leaned in to her soft touch. Her eyes flickered to my lips and she stared intently at them. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears as she leaned in close enough that our lips brushed against each other.

The next moment, I am taken by surprise when she planted her lips on mine and tugged on my collar to pull me into a soft yet passionate kiss. For a few seconds I froze unable to respond and had a hard time registering it in my head that she was kissing me. She was kissing me.

Eira was about to pull away, not feeling me kissing back but as soon as I noticed that, I responded quickly, gently holding her face and kissing her senseless. Our lips moved perfectly together, in sync. As I closed my eyes, I can feel her smile into the kiss when I ran my fingers through her hair. She wrapped her arms around my torso and pulled me in closer that I can feel her heartbeat on my chest just as rapid as mine.

I cant remember how long I waited for this to happen and now it finally was. Eira couldn't help but giggle, interrupting the kiss. I chuckled fondly at her being adorable. Her eyes met mine once more.

We simply gazed at each other saying nothing yet having a mutual understanding. Nothing needed to be said.

Disclaimer: I dont own the song La Vie En Rose

#paris #dancing in the rain #romance #short story #drabble #la vie en rose #france #romantic in paris #love

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chelsanitys · 7 years ago

Text

anon post

for all 3 of my fans

i live for ur wit and sass

thx n same

Dont fuck with the best! Kate works hard to get the craziest anons to post in her yard, and I've got nothing but respect. There's no fan in the fandom as genuine and earnest as she is. Wishing her and her cats a long and healthy life!

lmao yall need to quit

you've probably answered this already but what do you think will give vm the best shot at the OG?

a good short dance + a good free dance + gui missing the catch-foot on his twizzle again

Are you taking the bar exam this summer?

no i just finished my first yr

I will cry if T&S end up together, They would be a horrible match. Surely I'm not the only one who sees this??

i am ashamed that this is the level of trollin i get. step up ur game!!

"i hope tessa marries semple so i can see all the shippers cry tbh" Poor Alex! Marrying him would probably restore his self confidence and prompt a return to the cfl! Still holding out hope!

honestly alex was the hottest of all her bfs. fedor is balding, has a dad bod n is wearing khakis on the beach now. and semple was always fug. also rl talk i didnt know canada had its own football league until this guy came around. thats so cute for canada

"i hope tessa marries semple so i can see all the shippers cry tbh" I want her with the Bitove guy. His family looks like the type that will post tons about them on sm afterward.

lmao yall know his grandfather started the toronto raptors?? i knew this brodie’s last name sounded familiar. also apparenty he and his fam golf at trump’s resort @ mar-a-lago VOM. tessa is 500% going to end up with a smarmy, filthy rich trust fund kid like him like its not even a question

Hey now. I want shippers to get overthemselves, too, but Tessa marrying Semple, god no. Basically, Tessa, open your eyes and save yourself.

lol i actually wish she was still dating him so all this mindless speculation rn would stop

Bitter and hateful is what I come here for. Anons should just fuck off and go to the Disney website if that's what they want.

vm fans are so damn soft n sensitive about everything lol, i rly wish some of yall would stop taking everything i say so seriously

Please come back, without your snark the fandom is controlled by the most delusional shippers.

i’ll post more when there r actually things 2 talk about. being around here when nothing is happening and ur all screaming into a vacuum about the same things over and over is like being institutionalized in a loony bin

why are you always up so late?

nhf for this east coast bias, it is a perfectly reasonable time in california

Which of the current/rising juniors do you see making tbe most impact next quad?

carreira/ponomarenko are going to win a olympic medal in 2022. even if the shibs, h/d and bock don’t retire, i see them easily rising through the pack - they just have the Look and aren’t without talent. i’m iffy on the rest - mcnamara/carpenter are too creepy and weird, parsons have no height difference and are siblings, both are coached by an unproven staff, everyone else are varying levels of mediocre. hawayek/baker will go to worlds 2018 if they’re lucky and prob never again if no one else retires.

i wouldn't take h/d's music choices as an indicator of what vm will have. they are the c team and vm are the a team in that camp. look at last season... h/d got stuck with marie-france's lame ass idea of the evolution of music and vm got prince.

true..... altho i think personal taste is important too. tessa would die b4 she ever approved an ‘evolution of dance’ sd

I want Tessa to steal Fedor back from Meryl. All that drama would be hilarious. Fedor lost his looks and is butt ugly now so he is exactly Tessa's type, even more so than in 2009.

i nvr thought he was that cute but he literally looks like he goes door to door selling pool cleaner now

I noticed that when Tessa shakes hands or kisses someone on the cheek (like during medal ceremony or interviews) Scott often puts a hand on her lower back even though there had not been any physical contact between the two of them before said handshake or kiss. It just always surprises me and I'm not sure I understand why he'd do this. What's your take on it ?

lmao ik u want me 2 say its bc his subconscious is screaming out in jealousy and he wants to covertly claim her and show the world she still belongs to him but i rly think they r just touchy ppl who like to touch. or hes makin sure she doesnt lose balance and fall off the podium as she’s leanin over

moulin rouge would've been a much cooler choice in 11/12 for their musical fd instead of funny face, but i don't see them doing it for their olympic fd. it's a bit tacky and overdone. i figure they'd want to do something that's a little bit more special and unique then that.

ia it wouldnt have been a bad filler fd for an off year. i just dont see it doing it for their Last Ever and for the olympics. its such a warhorse - what could they possibly say with it thats original? and its such a character piece - they r such overly emo, earnest ppl, i dont think they’d want to do something that different from themselves for their Last Ever.

huh what, vm don't stand a chance against moonlight sonata?? Pls... that would be a flop, such an overused piece of music everywhere, it's like Für Elise - hearing the first notes of it makes me vomit in my mouth a little

ya bc no one’s ever won a gold medal skating to a warhorse before

it sounds more believable to me than vm and moulin rouge tho

What interpretation? PC will just float around. They can do that in any key and judges will eat it up.

true, gui gui is a demon

No way. The judges will think they're watching Gordeeva/Grinkov again and just hand the gold to them immediately.

remember when pc said they didnt even know who torvill and dean and g/g were lmao

If scott doesn't cut his disgusting gutter frat boy hair I'm renouncing my Canadian citizenship and moving 2 Peru

was legit lookin @ pics from autumn classic n skate canada and i cant believe how short his hair was then, i can not believe i was complainin so much. i am honestly such a whiny bitch lmao this is my punishment

i have mixed feelings because Prince is the best short dance of VM's career so far but then Latch was one of the worst lol. It dragged in a lot of areas, especially the middle, and it never felt complete. I don't hate it by any means but considering we only had 2 free dances left and that was one of them... :| so I'm torn between trusting MF, and then thinking she's one misguided song choice away from ruining VM's swan song.

the thought of mf picking out the music for vm’s last ever fd makes me kind of sad. like yall have no ideas? at all?? ur relying on instagram suggestions and mf’s adult lite fm spotify playlists for inspiration? im surprised n disappointed tbh, like they arent kids anymore, i thought they would take more ownership of their careers.

but idk we’ll see. whenever i complain a lot, i usually like their material later lol

why do i feel like vm are gonna come out in their sd with despacito... the justin bieber version...

ok who is this person who keeps sending me despacito questions?? you sound like you want it to happen more than anyone else and are trying to will it into existence

It's funny because Tessa is SO cautious about everything she/they say, that she comes off/is rehearsed--I don't understand why she cares so much. They are not politicians or even super famous. Plus most people who watch (excluding Tumblr fans bc they're all extra) watch during high times like Worlds and Olympics. Most people don't watch interviews and press conferences. If they do watch one, it's usually only the fun "game" interviews or the mainstream ones like etalk which they are not tons of

idk what this is in reference to but ok lol. it prob matters to her bc its her life and she cares bc its happening to her? just spitballin here

Oh no what has Max Trankov said I'm scared to know now. If he's a Trump fan I might have to #nopeout lol he’s russian and a male chauvinist pig. he once said he wouldnt do a quad with tati until she had a baby for him...”and then maybe we try”

still gonna stan his trash ass to the end of time tho

Speaking of bad music cuts I could not stand the way HD's music was cut this year. Like I like all the songs they used individually but it just felt so weirdly put together like the songs didn't flow well into the next. The only part I liked was the last part with earned it.

really? i thought earned it was the part that seemed completely out of step with the first 2 pieces of music. the transition was way off and the tempo was so much faster than the other 2

The Facebook q&a is the first time I felt vm are actually compatible enough to be a couple.

should’ve published this steaming hot take when u sent it a month ago bc i have no idea what this is in reference to now

what do you look like?

tired mostly

haha funny how we went from vm are in a relationship to they hate each other.

dont ‘we’ me bitch i have nothing to do with this fandom’s daily emotional yo-yo-ing

Can you explain the Tessa/Kaitlyn Weaver friendship? Are they really friends? Kaitlyn seems like the kind of girl Tessa would make fun of behind her back.

more like kaitlyn weaver is tracy flick and is trying to bring down everyone in her path tbh

I get a bit of a superiority, cold vibe with Tessa, don't you?

no but i dont have self esteem issues

I think people who find Tessa cold and snobby do not get her at all. Yes, she is far from perfect and her feminism is all (...) but to call her cold and unfeeling means you haven't been paying attention at all. Like get off her dick and/or stop following her career.

i dont think shes cold either. standoffish maybe, but i dont feel like thats from superiority or aloofness. some ppl just want to mind their own business and chill?? not everyone’s a chatty cathy like scott

Music stresses me out. The only thing I've gathered from all of the various discussions is they should be exciting but not too exciting because it's an Olympic season. But they shouldn't also be too safe. Like I know you have mentioned various choices that would be good but what would be in your mind the ideal program, both SD and FD. It's their third Olympics, so how do they build on the past while still being fresh but also them. Or do they just not and give the audience what they want?

something original thats not a warhorse but is also audience friendly and is instantly musically palatable to a lot of ppl

so basically mahler

Which songs from moulin rouge should they use?

if they were doing mr (which i doubt), the orchestral score is 500x better than the cheesy ass nonsense from the soundtrack. like come what may with nicole kidman’s tremulous bird vocals and ewan mcgregor literally straining not to pop a vein would almost be too dramatic and Too Much. i think that kind of thing only works for a v specific kitschy, performative kind of team (a la russians) and wouldnt vibe with vm’s super earnest approach at all. but the orchestral score is genuinely moving and effective in a less garish way

but i dont think they’re doing moulin rouge lol

"the movies honestly made it hard 4 me to interpret hermione’s undying loyalty and devotion to harry as anything other than latent sexual attraction tbh lmao" Hahaha, pretty much. Plus, the whole Harry and Ginny thing, even more so in the movies, seemed to come out of nowhere and was cliche as fuck.

is bonnie wright still acting? i’ve seen dead fish more alive than her on screen

LMAO someone posted a clip from VM's show when they were having dinner with WP and they were talking about how WP live together and they ask VM how they deal with one another and LOL I stg I started loling cause their reactions were #priceless. S literally just had a WTF look on his face while he said something hella awkward & T looked like she wanted to slap him. Her follow up that she doesn't think they could ever spend all their time together just cements why they'll never date for me.

lmao that whole scene is so stupid. kaitlyn n andrew r such good friends i swear

Thanks for setting that anon straight. Set some boundaries so that they don't egg on shippers?? WTF. They're fine with doing what they're doing, and if they're dating others, those others are obviously fine with it too. Besides, it's not like they're filming porn or something. If you can't handle it, stop watching them.

idek what these r in reference to anymore but it sounds dumb as hell lmao

Wow I cannot believe that people actually think VM owe fans any explanation for their relationship/partnership. Like we don't know them, we're never going to know them or be friends with them? Why the fuck do they owe fans a detailed explanation of their personal business? I stg these shippers have lost their damn minds. As long as VM continue to put out good programs and do well I couldn't care less what they're doing off ice. Whatever it is it's clearly working for them. You do you VM.

the entitlement of some fans is insane. its STILL happening now with tessa’s ig now too. why dont yall just let her live n let her white-girl post to her hearts content. she is literally doing nothing differently to what every other skater does, idg this absurd criticism

Fr tho both of them have such nice teeth and I've never seen pics of them with braces, like how??!?!

tessa’s r so nice i cant believe she’s never had braces. and they r such a natural white? like u can tell w most skaters that they get it professionally whitened but hers dont have that artificial look at all

Are you in college? Your bio says 23 but it said that last year too.

i actually turned 24 a while ago im just 2 lazy to change it. im in law school currently

I just read an ancient interview with vm where they said Mahler was about getting married or something... WHAT

ya i cant remember if it was them that said or marina that said it tho. i remember a story about a guy who wrote them saying he and his gf were watching mahler at the olympics and once it was over, he was so moved he got down on one knee and proposed to her and marina was like ‘thats what that program is meant to do’ lol

Do you think Zach is a good skater and partner? I keep changing my mind on him.....

he is such a bland, wet noodle - no taste, no flavor, just empty white carbs. its up to madi to add any spark to the team bc she’s the real star, he just stands there and is tall and can lift her

Why the fuck are so many people freaking out because Tessa did not attend a wedding with Scott. 1. They are not dating so there are no reason for Scott to bring her. 2. She has people visiting 3. I bet they don't even hang out off ice 4. I think Scott has a secret girl in Ilderton. 5. TS not dating. I wish people would claim down.

this is so far back in my inbox i have no idea whats happening

I love it that whenever Tessa posts an IG story the fandom goes crazy analyzing and speculating about Scott what there even when he is clearly not Then there there are talks about TS wedding. WTF Soon it will be TS having babies. I am wondering if maybe the fandom (new fans) are mixing reality with those fanfics.

honestly no clue

I know this has been discussed before but I don't get how Scott and Jess even communicated. Jess could barely seem to understand English back then and Scott couldn't speak French. I wonder if them not being able to speak to each other is part of why they lasted so long actually

lol bryce davison actually learned french so he could communicate w/ her. not scott tho lol

I don't think T cares too much about fs friendships the way other skaters do. Of course she's friendly with a lot of them but she's not really close with anyone except her partner, which doesn't really count lol. She has her own friend group outside of skating and that's what she seems to stick to. It's funny you mention Meryl, Brooke, Tanith, and Lauren because they're all still really good friends.

honestly i think skating stressed (stresses?) her out so much back then that she really hated being in that world for too long. i dont blame her for wanting to disconnect and not having to hang out with skaters who just talk about other skaters and skating 24/7

I don't mean this in a mean way. Watching Avatar. If you paint Meryl's face blue she could be in the movie

it kills me when ppl say she looks like a disney princess? ya the ant queen from a bugs life maybe

I think Tessa sometimes forget that Scott is a huge part of why they are successful and she wouldn't have all of these deals w amazing brands if they weren't so strong+didn't win everything. it's easy to put her on the pedestal bc she's gorg and can dance, but he should get/deserves just as much credit-- i mean he is the one lifting her and she could not do any of this by herself. sometimes i get the vibe that she thinks she's too good for him. maybe he's not as fancy, but he has a heart of gold

i’ve literally never gotten that she thinks she’s too good for him...? they go out of their way to pay each other compliments all the time and dont even jokingly diss on each other. its actually kind of weird that after knowing each other so long their relationship isnt just one long roast section where they talk shit about each other bc thats what my relationship w/ all my lifelong friends r like....but then again im a flinty bitch and they’re super earnest and emo like all the time. like i bet they both cry during sex

i find it kinda gross, disturbing and a bit pathetic that so many people feel the need to write erotic fan fiction about Tessa and Scott--like they are real people not characters, and it's kinda creepy that people spend so much time writing and reading them. Also, i would pay a million dollars to have someone show TS what people write about them--they would literally die and so would i--some fans are kinda extreme crazy

u know how on graham norton when he’s always showing celebs really erotic fanfic and fanart of themselves and they’re just dying of embarrassment?? i would literally pay everything in my bank account (so like....twenty dollars) for someone to do that to vm

omg it's gonna be so awk when tessa and scott have to see klawes...poor klawes, she just could not hold a candle to tessa. still don't know why klawes still follows tessa's insta--like i would unfollow and would not wanna see some of the pics t posts of TS giving each other lovey looks/touchy regardless of whether ts are together or not. also, it's never like t and klawes would actually be friends bc they're polar opposites

v disappointed that the olympic summit did not deliver on this #drama

tessa and kl were real friends tho, i think its sweet. and its nice they still keep in touch even tho scott is a dog

Are you a fan of tessa's style? She wears so much expensive yet ugly shit in my opinion.

lmao no. i think some of her casual wear is cute, but she wears some of the most hideous high fashion shit ever when she’s going out. like that blue carpet jumpsuit? yall know wht im talking about. those hideous trousers??? also she wears an unbelievable amount of boring black dresses

also gf needs to do smth with her hair. tired of her high bun and slick pony. she looks way cuter w/ her hair down imo

Do you think Tessa pays for all the Adidas stuff she wears?

no she def gets it for free. i was a walk-on my freshman yr of college for half a second and even i got a bunch of free shit from nike

How do u as an ed sheeran unstanner feel about ts doing these songs their obviously using him for the sd next season and i wouldnt be suprised if they use him for the fd as well

reading this made my cholesterol go up

really hope they're exhausting all the ed sheeran options now so they won't actually use it for comps lol

ngl i do kind of dig that embarrassing white boy rapping galway girl song but that cld prob just be my girl saorise ronan hypnotizing me like she always does

Minus the horrific man bun, do you think Scott's hot? Also, do you think Tessa finds him attractive?

no and probably yes now that hes so fug

Do you think Scott's attractive?? Also, do you think Tessa being told she's beautiful constantly on sm has made her get a big head--she often comes across as a bit cold and stuck up prancing around in her $1000 + outfits? Love her and she's gorgeous but...

some of yall need to stop projecting your shit onto tessa for real

Power plays of the figure skating journalists. Inside Skating does a very literal interview and article with P/C which blows up and then they go to Jackie Wong so he can basically write up a damage control press release. Kind of fascinating to see both journalists doing their thing with the same content. Hard to believe Inside Skating didn't think their article would create a storm. Interesting.

speaking of jackie, skaters r really going to him for their exclusives now huh? dying that ashley gave him her big la la land fluff piece instead of tsl. pays 2 be nice and kiss ass

Doesn't look like KH/JLB will have much of a chance to advance cuzis so crowded with the current seniors not retiring and juniors moving up. KH/JLB needs to work on their twizzles, thier lines, skating skills, chemistry looks promising. Some of those junior and senior teams should consider representingif they want a chance at aCanada doesn't have any promising teams once VM-WP retire. I feel like CB, SS, HD ain't retiring till they win Wch or OG which may never with PC around.

hawayek/baker could prob skate for gb because jean-luc has citizenship and carreira/ponomarenko could prob skate for canada bc she’s from montreal but i doubt the us fed is letting either of them go. they’ve invested way too much at this point. i don’t think c/p need to move tho, i think they’re talented to rise organically through the ranks. i think they’re more likely to be us #1 instead of not tbh

I don't understand the whole David and Tessa affair; like some people say it happened after he was separated and others talk like it was a full blown affair. The only thing I do know is that her being called a "homewrecker" or anything else of that nature makes me want to punch something because it's disgusting, and it's society go-to response. Be cruel to the woman and basically give the man a free pass. But maybe he received shit, too? I just never heard about it.

i think he was basically separated but not divorced when it happened

Do you think if TS and Cappelini and Lanotte switched partners they would be a good team?

lol no. anna’s not a great skater and luca looks like he’s shorter than tessa

Wait is that Tessa's ex Semple in that photo you posted of her pre and post nose job? Cause if so damn does she lowball herself. Like she could have such better looking guys I do not understand. Girl is very pretty she needs someone to help her pick better guys.

~we accept the love we think we deserve~~

I think T is cringeworthy as a speaker bc she's sooo gd rehearsed. Not a things she says comes across like she didn't practice it in the bathroom mirror 75 times that morning. She would be pretty good if she could lose even half the pretension in her delivery and tossed out the eye rolly words she keeps littering the sentences with like privilege and journey.

they honestly both suck. she’s worse than he is, but they’re both super stiff. and they always do this forced banter bit at the start which just seems so awkward lol

That one anon pointing that some have denied the nose surgery - this is exactly what annoys me about those shipper blogs, not that they are shippers (you can want them two to be together- that by itself doesn't bother me), but their ways and how they always have to insist on vm's perfect image - they all get so upset and aggressive when you point some issue out, like why would you deny Tessa has done a nose job... so out of touch! vm are interesting exactly cause they're real people with flaws

i can not believe ppl r denying her nose job. like yo its right there. it does lend credence to my theory that all shipprs r just hallucinating n seeing things that arent there tho

If Tessa and Scott did hook up while officially with SOs I have a feeling they wouldn't consider it cheating.

ok lmao??? im sure something extremely profound i said provoked this

how rich do u think scott and tessa are???

prob millionaires by the time 2018 comes around if they get their sponsorships

i might do part 2 later if i can be bothered... but nothing really makes sense out of context lol, its like watching charlie kaufman do slam poetry

#Anonymous #vm #fs

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freerebelmentality · 8 years ago

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For the love of music pt3 (final)

Word Count: 2,380

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“Yeah, I did and he told me you were out” You tell him looking away from the folk lore books

“Ye have quite the collection” He says while looking around and getting up from the chair to get a better look at the books.

“Thank you. Some of them once belonged to my brother” You tell him

Chibs saw that as an opening to ask about your family or just about your brothers anyway.

“He come around to visit often?” He asks in hopes you will answer him.

“No, they havent because uh they passed away a couple of years ago” You tell him while feeling the ache in your chest

“Sorry to hear that. How did they pass?” He asks while looking to you and feeling the hurt you have suffered. He has great understanding when it comes to loosing people you love.

You are about to answer him is when a book comes flying off the shelf and stops at a page, a quote by Leo Tolstoy.

“Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them” You pick up the book from the floor and read out the quote.

You go teary eyed and thank Sam for the inspiration. You see Chibs looking at you with great sorrow but you smile to him even though it doesnt look happy. You always remembered Franks quote about smiling after they passed and kept doing it ever since.

“I know this is going to sound crazy to you but um how they passed is. They saved the world from utter chaos with an end result of them dying while closing the gates of hell. Sam was originally suppose to do that but Dean got in the middle of it all and he died as well. We didnt know it was really going to end us but they did it while they told me to go and finally live the apple pie life. That they did it all for me and every single person on this earth” You say while remembering the things Dean had said before he took his last breath.

It was to late for you to say good bye to Sam because his injuries were so severe that he went quickly.

Chibs stood there getting teary eyed watching you tell him the dying last moments between you and the only family you had.

“I am truly sorry for your loss and really grateful at that” He says as he reaches over to place his hand on yours to give a gentle yet loving squeeze.

“I went down to Tacoma earlier today because after the things Juice has told me. He looked into your back ground” He admits while breaking the silence

“What did you find out” You ask while wiping the tears away.

“I have a brother in the Charter, he tells me he used to be a hunter until your brothers closed the gates of hell” He says while he hopes you wouldnt kick him out for going behind your back.

“His name is Jesse Cuevas, his husband is Caesar. Hes told me they have hunted with ye and your brothers. Supernatural beings. At first I thought he was crazy but made sense” He says while looking to you.

“Yeah, I remember him. We worked on a case together. He is a member now?” You reply while asking quickly

“Hes been a member for a couple years now. Most likely around the time your brothers passed” He says while getting up from the chair.

“Any more ex hunters who have joined the charter?” You ask out of curiosity

“No just him” He answers

“I’ve had enough of this chick flick moment. How about we go to the party thats happening at the club?” You ask while feeling better about opening up to him.

“Aye, feel like my balls turned into some fucked up looking pussy” The both of you laugh while you head up the stairs to change into something more suitable for a party.

“How do you know there is a party going on at TM?” He asks once you come down the stairs.

He loved how you looked in your outfit, showed all the right curves and how you hair just accented your face perfectly

“A friend of mine told me when she dropped me off to pick up the car” You answer him while grabbing his hand and leading him out the door.

He got on his bike and handed you a helmet. Once the bike came to life and roared down the street is when you loved everything about the motorcycle and now wondering if you should get one for yourself.

Once the both of you got to the club house is when you let loose right away. You didnt need to worry about anyone hitting on you because everyone knew who you came with. Juice looks to you and doesnt like that you are there. You walk up to him after downing the last of your Scotch.

“Its Juice right?” You ask while Chibs keeps an eye on you.

“Yeah” Is all he says and continues to drink his beer and ignore you.

“Dude what is wrong with you? You not like me or something?” You ask while you feel the Scotch burn your stomach knowing you are feeling a bit tipsy.

“Something like that” Juice says while turning his back on you.

“Well then, lets settle this once and for all. I saw a ring out there. Lets solve our problems the right way” You tell him while the guys look between you and Juice.

“I dont think that would be such great idea” Bobby says to you

“I can take care of myself” You tell him while walking away

“You wanna belt it out with me? In the ring? Sweet heart you dont stand a chance” He says looking to you with a serious expression on his face

“Lets see then” You tell him while leading the way outside.

Everyone around is in complete shock by the invitation but Tig couldnt help but pull together a pool.

He throws the first punch but that doesnt knock you down. You fight back, how Dean taught you to fight over the years and Sam always said you reminded him of Dean while fighting.

Juice got you a few times but not bad enough to leave your face puffy. You spit out the blood and fight back once more but never back down. You kept punching him left and right until you hit him really hard and he fell to the ground.

“Chibby I am getting incredibly turned on by your old lady” Tig says while his hand is against his belt buckle

You kept punching him until he wasnt able to fight back anymore. You kept going until someone pulled you off of Juice and you looked and it was Chibs. Everyone cheered as you won the fighting match. Everyone cleared out of the club house and went to their dorms to finish off the party and then some. All that was left in the bar area were you, Chibs, Bobby, Tig, Happy and Juice.

“Do I have your approval now?” You ask Juice while he is getting patched up by Chibs.

“Yeah. Where did you learn to fight like that?” He asks while spitting out blood from his mouth.

“My older brother taught me and when I went in well I had to fend for myself” You tell him while you did some time

“Oh my god, you hear that Chibby? She did time” Tig says while trying to contain himself from taking you to his dorm

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You ask looking to Tig

“Tiggy” Chibs basically growls out his name while he walks away and grabs a crow eater and to his dorm.

“Ye alright love?” Chibs asks as he places his hand under your chin to get a better look at your face

“I am ok now but wait till tomorrow when everything kicks in. I mean Im still pretty drunk and I know Im hurting but tomorrow is going to be a pain in my ass” You tell him while you take the cup of Scotch from Chibs hand and down the rest and handed him back the cup.

You downed the drink no problem while Chibs looks to you in complete amazement that you can handle your drinks. Another thing you got from Dean while growing up with him or just until you were old enough to drink on your own. You would dig into his stash from time to time and left enough for him not to notice anything is gone.

“How about that dinner you owe me?” You ask looking to Chibs

“Ye hungry?” He raises his eye brow

“I could eat” You reply with a smile

“I know a place that opens all night” He says while he helps you to his bike.

“Y/n?” Juice yells before the both of you walk out the door. You turn to see what he wants.

“Take care of my brother, hes a good man and he deserves the best” He says while Happy helps him to his dorm.

“Shouldn’t ye be saying that to me about er?” Chibs asks looking to Juice

“I know she can take care of herself but man you fight for shit at times” Juice says while everyone laughs and you share a chuckle as well.

You and Chibs park in front of a diner and walked in together. He led you to a booth by the window, he slid in while you did the same across from him. The waitress came by to take the drink order and meal order. You ordered a bacon cheese burger with fries along with a salad.

“The food I get because I dont want my brothers missing out on the things they liked” You tell him while explaining the food you have ordered. He looks to you with a puzzled expression.

“My brother Dean always got bacon cheese burgers and fries. Sam well he was the health nut and always got something with salad and all that other crap” You tell him while chuckling. He smiles while you love how his dimples show when he does.

“Understandable. Before Charming. Where did ye move from?” He asks while the waitress serves our drinks and coffee.

“Kansas, we had lived in this place that people forgot about. We were given the place by my late grandpa but we didnt know exactly where it was. Until we went to visit his friend that knew the place well” You tell him and tell the story about the men of letter bunker.

“So no one knows about this place?” He asks looking to you.

“No, not even the government. Only way you can find the place is coordinates” You tell him while the waitress comes back with food.

“Enjoy your meal” The waitress says and walks away back into the kitchen.

He got the stake and eggs. You looked to his plate and really wanted to pick from it.

“Ye have your own food” He says trying to swat your hand out of the way.

“Your food looks so good so I couldnt help it” You tell him while he chuckles.

He doesnt know when the last time he had this much fun, well during a meal course and he was feeling really comfortable with you and you made it easy. You and Chibs eat in harmony and you like the some what domestics that come along with eating at a table with another person.

“Is that everything?” The waitress comes back.

“Pie please, cherry would be good” You tell her while Chibs smiles to you and you knew Dean was very happy about that.

“Im guessing your brother likes pie too?” He asks after taking a sip from his coffee.

“Yeah he did and I always loved em to” You smile to him.

Chibs took you home while you grabbed his hand for him to come inside as well. He followed into the house and led him up the stairs. He hesitated for a while until you reassured him it was to sleep and nothing else. You liked the fact he is very respectable. In some ways he reminded you of Dean. In others reminded you of Sam and another that was very Chibs. He knew how to be vulnerable with you and thats the most incredible thing you have seen in a man.

Your brothers always hid their vulnerability because they always had this mentality to always be strong for one another, well Dean anyway. Sam on the other hand was more open with his feelings but at times he would hide too but you would know something would be there. You knew he would say something once you asked.

They always had to have this stoic and strong mentality around each other. And thats all you were used to. But with Chibs it was different and thats what you loved about the man. You knew something special is within Chibs and you wanted to find out what it was. You found it and you wanted to cherish it and be that person who he needs to lean on. You wanted to be his rock when shit hit the fan and you want him to be your rock as well.

Chibs couldnt believe how much you can handle yourself but living the life you have for so long. It made sense for you to learn how to defend for yourself, especially with the things you used to hunt. He understood the look in your eye of seeing nightmares. He thought it was crazy at first but remembering back to all those Scottish folk lore he has heard growing up made him believe that those stories were always told for a reason. Now that all the supernatural beings are gone, demons gone and now you finally get to live that apple pie life your brothers wanted for you. He is happy you wanted to live that life with him. He wants love you forever. You are his forever.

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typologycentral · 7 years ago

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[ISTJ] I need advices. Deal breaker circumstance.

Hello everyone, i'm not a native english speaker, but i hope you all understand what im going to say. I have some questions (that are driving me insane of course), i will try to give you all the background about it. ENFP female in here, and him ISTJ. Internet frienship: Background: 1. In the first year of conversation (we spoke or wrote, every single day for over 1 hour, usually was up to 3 and more on weekends). During that whole year he constanly told me we werent friends, but he assisted me in several things, we shared precious moments even with the distance between us, i.e watching movies together at the same time, or shared screen and talk about our families, etc, i even make him stay awake just to see the sunrise when he didnt want it, and even being so far away i always felt him.. next to me. I always consider him a friend even when he deny that each time. I started to feel something for him but didnt tell him about those feelings, just decided to cut the relationship (we are from different countries), i told him, since he didnt consider me a friend was no point in keep on going, he accepted my quit from the relationship. 2. Well, after 8 months of silence, with 0 contact to him, he suddenly was back in my life. He sent a message saying "can you forgive me?"... i replyed, "theres nothing you should be forgiven for". So we start again, like those 8 months never existed. Again, lots of hours, lots of debates. Problem was, i got the confirmation that my feelings were still there. After 6 months of his return, those feelings were making me insane, so, i just wrote him a message while he was offline, in that message i told him, that again i needed some "space" or "cut", because i had feelings for him, i never especified wich ones, he replyed something like "ok, i thought we passed this phase, but i guess we didnt, life is life, and i dont have another option than just wait for you". I was back after a month of "space", he still at that very moment didnt recognize that we were friends. Really. So here was him, with no feelings for me, and me totally in love. After a while we got into a fight, because i felt him distant, he said everything was fine, i pushed him until he finally said he was distant because he wasnt feeling "the connection anymore", since i was bitter, i told him... "i hope she makes you happy"... (he never mentioned another woman, i just knew), and then he said.. "dont worry, im getting bored of her already, i will say she wont pass 2 months". So, he blocked me, and everything was done. 3. Two years and a half later (the now moment), i couldnt yet, take him out of my mind, and out of nowhere i recieved a message in my cell phone (notice, he told me he changed his phone, he didnt have my number no more, this was during the first year of our friendship) the message said something as "hello, a lot of things changed in these two and a half years, and we really need to talk again". We chatted for an hour and i needed to go. The next day, he sent me a message, in which, he explains to me his "PLAN", he told me he was in a moment of his life ready to move on and make a family, but was something holding him on a physical level. He also told me, he met some women in these 2 and a half years, but with none of the them had not even 10% of the connection or whatever he had with me. His Plan: He told me, i was his best female friend ever and that he loved me in that sense. And that all that he was about to tell me after, for me would sound really really bad, but fits perfectly in his logic. He said, i woke up a couple of days ago with the idea of meeting you, let that idea developed in my mind and then another idea came to my mind, and saw that two pieces match perfect. I want you to come (to his country), no matter what, because that is the main goal, second goal is that you help me to become a man (sexually speaking), he said, you know i want to do this right, with someone i deeply care about, you always thought i was saving it for someone special but its more like i didnt knew how to give it away, i want to experience love with a person that is open minded and can even laugh in a situation like that, that had the experience in that particular field, and also a person that have all my trust, and you are all of that, we know each other really well, we had that deep bond, so you are the perfect match. I know if we do this, i probably fall in love with you, (he wants me to stay with him for 2 weeks or something) but eventually i will have to fight that feeling and break free, but that new perspective of experiencing love will make my life richier, i know this all sound crazy and selfish, but its only because is planned. Please don't you dare to think i'm somehow paying you, to get what i want, dont you even dare!, because you know i respect you, keep your mind open please. Even if you said "no" to this idea, the idea of the travel to meet me still goes, cause its relevant, i will wait for your answer, take your time, im not in a hurry. Question: was he lying the whole time before when he didnt call me friend? or? (i asked him this, and he said, he doesnt "remember", he say "i said we werent?") Question: "im not saving it for someone special and i want you to be the one cause i deeply care about you"... isnt it someone that one deeply care about ergo someone special? Question: should i take him seriously? by the book? when he say "i probably fall in love with you, but eventually i will have to fight that feeling and break free" Question: Would you dare to ask something like that to a person you consider a friend? My reply: (basically i told him NO, and also told him i love him) (so you can skip this part if you want) Of course, me being an enfp, or futhermore being a human being, a person, i felt totally insulted. TOTALLY. So, i didnt control my first reaction, and sent him a voice message, telling him all my feelings. I told him, that it sounded selfish, cause primarly it was. I told him, he was using our friendship and the feelings to get what he wanted, that i was surprised that now suddenly i was his best female friend that he deeply care about, that "this plan" was totally wrong, lacking of ethics, morals, etc, that he should never do again that to a person, he cant just get what he wants no matter what, that he wanted to used me and discarted me as garbage, and even more allow himself to say i shouldnt "dare to think" that he has bad intentions, that he really disappointed me, that i never expected such a horrible thing from him, that he indeed changed but for the bad, that i was surprised that he is smart enough for some things and so dumb for others, that he couldnt even replaced me in 2 years for another woman, that i could actually make the "favour" for him, of making him a man, but that i could never teach him how to love because he needs a heart for that, not a brain, that he will never experience anything for real if he doesnt allow himself to do something spontaneous for once in his life, that he doesnt have the "b... " to live without a plan, and that is half living, etc etc etc, and finished my voice message saying (while crying).. you know what? i cant do the trip and i cant help you with the other thing, for a simple reason.. i love you, i have always loved you, and you know this, i dont even have to said it, i wish things would be different, so i can actually have fun with this idea of yours, but my feelings are in the middle and are strong, and i cant allow myself to do this, because i know i will come back home eartbroken, im sorry, i wish you all the blessings that the universe can bring to your life multiplied by infinite. Now, if you really care about me, as you said you do, not even much, just a little bit, please dont come back to my life never again, because each time you do it, its more difficult for me, please! erase me from your mind, take care, bye. His answer: He said, that was somehow prepared for most of the message, except from the part in wich i was crying and telling him i love him, he said, i was "unprepared for that", he said "no words are right for a moment like this, you know im not a emotional person unfortunatly, but if i was i would probably be crying for the rest of the day, i cant say im happy because in my mind i lose a friend, cant say im sad either because i felt something in my heart for the first time and its beautiful, i cant live my life without a plan, im just too insecure for that, it doesnt matter if it is a good plan or bad, for me will always feel like a right plan, i wish you all the best, and also i wish you, that you follow your own advice and deleted me from your mind, maybe just a glance, if you see the sun in your face or a weird look that a cat is given you.. think "how is he going, i hope he is well and happy" and i will do the same for you, i promise". Oh! also he said, the "old him" in a situation like this will argue and debate why im "wrong".. but his "new him" understood everything i said. Question: deleting someone of your mind, is deleting them. Then, why he said maybe a glance.. is he trying to manipulate me into remember him? (i know this question is for interpretation, but i want to know all possible perspectives) So, after like 2 days, i wasn't block.. which i thought was weird, because i mean i asked him to deleted me from his mind, so i thought he would blocked my phone number or something.. but no. And since im stupid, i wrote him, told him i just needed to understand this to close the circle, just needed to understand why he was doing this to me, why, asked him if he actually planned this since the very beginning, asked him, lots of thing, i was full of "why". He said he was always honest, he didnt plan this from the very beggining and was exactly as he told me prior, that just one idea came after the other, that i shouldnt worry, that the "man" deal he will figure out, but he really thought was a good idea and blah blah blah. Question: why he didnt block me? Do you people expect the other part to make the cut in a situation like this?-- Because he told me "i will do as you ask me to, and erase you". then ... Why he didnt? Important details in my opinion His family expects him to marry a particular type of woman and i dont fill any of the requiriments that they ask for, except from being human and woman, he never told his parents about me or our relationship, because according to him, they are very conservative and they will push him to drop me, so they dont know of my existence. Also, when we talked about his "second part of the plan" i make him notice that he doesnt have any physical attraction towards me, and he said, well i give that importance but neither i felt that "attraction" to other woman. He claims, he doesnt like man in that way neither (he strongly denied that in several times), and when i brought the subject of "asexuality" he completely ignored it, and even change the subject. The NOW Im still in touch with him, even changed my mind about the travel part, so we argued about the travel part for weeks, and since he is a control freak, and we were getting nowhere in negotiation, i told him, we should take some space and later i will put in contact with him, he accepted. In those 2 weeks almost without talking to him, i cried and thought a lot, also i went to do my passport (just to confirm to my mind, that the decision was taken). Since he never called me "friend" until now days, and he strongly denied that word with a lot of arguments for many years, to now suddenly admit it, then, that tells me that maybe his mind is more confussing than mine. Question: can that be the case? that he is confused regarding a couple of things? that he doesnt have in his mind everything solved? So, i contacted him, i told him i got the passport. We were planning things, and once again, he bringed the "second part of the plan" into the table, i was upset, he told me it wasnt a condition, but he was still thinking about it, cause he wanted to gain some "experience" out of all of this, and he is pretty confident that is going to happen.I told him i can't guarantee NOTHING on that matter, and that apparently for him, that was the most important thing, he said "is not the most important but i still didn't get to a conclusion about it" I really always trusted him, cause he was always honest, but i cant help to think, in this particular situation that he really doesnt care about me, not as a person, not as friend, even when he says he does, and the thing that he put that subject again in the table is telling me, that actually that is his main goal, so i would be just a tool in this machiavellian plan. Question: can he be a total liar, faking everything, and really in his mind im a tool? How far would you guys go for achieve a plan? what are the signs that you guys show when you are lying? how can i pick a lie in an istj? Is really hard for me to read him, or maybe im readed him totally well, but i just cant believe this whole thing. Any advice, suggestion, view, perspective, analysis, or even answer to the questions i made, will be very much appreciated. Im sorry for this long message and for all the grammar, and typo mistakes, and once again, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/showthread.php?t=92617&goto=newpost&utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

#The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ #ISFJ #ESTJ #ISTJ)

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