#the only other time AL came up as well was when one of the interviewers said his mother likes Michael

[ingravinoveritas]

How did u feel with the age gap question was it pr or do u really think he meant it and this was the truth

This is referring to the question asked on The Assembly last night. I'll post the clip here, for those who haven't seen it yet:

A lot of what I felt while watching this was touched on in this incredibly thoughtful post from @body-face-words, so I encourage folks to give that a read. But I think for me, when it comes to Michael's answer, it's not a matter of whether he lied or told the truth. It's that his response was sweet, but it was also a version of the truth that sounded convincing because it needed to, because this was not a time or place where he could say what he actually felt.

I'm really not sure what people expected him to say, in all honesty, as he was never going to say anything that would make him or Anna look bad, and especially not anything that could potentially negatively impact the kids, so he instead gave a very perfect PR answer. This again does not come as a surprise because we know Michael has scripted his answers about AL/their relationship in the past, but I noticed how careful he was in his response, which seems to contrast with how off-the-cuff he normally is when discussing every other subject. Part of what so many of us love about Michael is how unfiltered he is and always has been, with the exception of how much he filters and edits himself when talking about Anna.

It also seemed like, at least from my perspective, that Michael answered the question without answering the question. What the girl asked wasn't so much about the age gap, but about AL being five years older than Michael's daughter Lily, and it would've been a perfect opportunity for him to mention her, or how the relationship with AL affected his and Lily's relationship. He could've talked about the falling out he had with her (and Kate) in 2019 once AL's existence/pregnancy came to light, and what has happened in the years since, or how Lily now gets along with Anna/her half-sisters. But instead Michael deflected from all of that and talked about everything while saying nothing at the same time.

It was also the things Michael didn't say that stood out as much as the things he did. In the entire answer to the question, Michael never once used the word "love." Prior to the show airing, I saw a lot of people online confident that he would say that he loves Anna, but he never did. He never praised her, never talked about the things he loves about her, or how glad he is to be with her. He never once mentioned her by name. The pivot and focus was on the kids, and there was a clear distinction made between how happy he is to have the family he does, rather than to be in the relationship that he is in. Michael's use of the phrase "very happy" was also identical to the wording of a comment AL wrote on Instagram the other day, which added to the whole "reinforcing a public narrative" feeling of his response.

I think what struck me most of all, though, was how somber and heavyhearted Michael sounded while saying how happy he is. It reminded me of the song "I Am a Rock" by Simon & Garfunkel, where the upbeat and cheerful music contrasts starkly with the fraught, angry lyrics. There was no sparkle in Michael's eyes when he said it, no enthusiasm for what he was saying (which is particularly jarring when we know Michael has the capacity for incredible enthusiasm), and his face never lit up while he was talking.

There was one specific moment (which is also highlighted in the body language post) where he seemed to visibly wince and the micro-expressions were in overdrive, and it immediately made me think of a moment from Good Omens:

Time and again, I have seen fans talk about Michael's micro-expressions as an actor and how he uses them to such devastating effect (especially in the role of Aziraphale). And while these two moments are not completely identical, the idea of ignoring how Michael uses those same micro-expressions in real life makes no sense to me at all. In this instance, what we're seeing could be either because he has put so much of himself into Aziraphale that we can now recognize those "Michael" moments...or it could be because in both clips he is performing, albeit for different reasons.

The difference between Michael when he is doing this vs. when he is being genuinely himself is made even more apparent by the question immediately following this one. Unprompted, he brings up David, and the change in his expression and demeanor is swift and dramatic:

Having the mention of David happen so soon after the AL question seemed to highlight so many things. I can't help but feel that David is a security blanket for Michael, something he hides behind when he is feeling anxious or sad or overwhelmed. I wondered if perhaps he was even already thinking of David while answering the AL question, which would explain why he named him so readily--as if his mind needed to drift to someplace else just to finish answering that question.

To me, this made it abundantly clear that David is Michael's safe place. Here was where we saw Michael's eyes sparkling. Here was where we saw him light up from the inside. And it was David he kept returning to and bringing up during the rest of the show in response to other questions. So if that doesn't speak volumes about where Michael's heart seems to be, I'm not sure what does.

So yes, those are my thoughts on Michael answering the age gap question on The Assembly. As always, this is just my interpretation, but I am glad to hear from my followers with your take as well. Thanks for writing in! x

[liveontelevision]

Suffer Pt. 6 | Lucifer x Reader

(This series is complete! All parts are listed on my master list and are linked below!)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6

A single anon request and a 56-page Google doc later, this is the last part, my friends. Thanks to everyone who's been so invested in this, this turned into a bigger project than I thought it would lol But! I'm so glad everyone's been enjoying it, and I hope y'all like the ending! I'm sorry for all the cliffhangers along the way haha (not really)

An extra thank you to the anon who requested a simple babysitter fic and ended up inspiring this whole deal!

♡♡♡

It’s almost been a year since you arrived to the hotel. You arrived when the building was in less than pristine condition, and just a few new guests had arrived. It was a few days after you saw Charlie’s interview on the news, that being what brought you in, despite it’s failure. You were just happy to see her face after all that time. Yet, above the cluttered space and the holes in the walls, there was a more malevolent scheme being hatched.

Any soul who might pass the princess’s room would be bombarded by curses, screams, and growls that sounded less than human. So, most the hotel residents decide it best to avoid that corridor. But not our trusty hotelier. His hand reached for the handle, after deciding that making a bold entrance might not be the best idea. His motion was put to a quick halt by a flurry of curses coming from the other side of the door. Alastor didn’t realize Charlie held such a..colorful vocabulary. Despite that, he went on.

He was greeted with a sight that, unfortunately, wasn’t new to him. An intricate web of red thread connected to pins, all scattered across a once pristine wall. It all connects a collage of images, some that he recognized, some that looked like nonsensical scribbles. The view is obstructed by a furiously pacing princess of Hell. Mumbling completely incoherent complaints, she doesn't notice the opening and closing of her bedroom door.

Alastor, being the sadist he is, props his stance with his microphone, his forced smile unmoving. He enjoys the view for a moment before finally clearing his throat to bring her attention to him. She nearly stumbles over her own feet, ready to scold him for materializing into her room, despite the fact that she was just too out of it to see him walk straight in.

“Al! Good! I need another pair of eyes, come here, come here, look!” She approaches him faster than he expects, and he’s ready to reel away, but is unfortunately hooked around the neck with Charlie’s disturbing strength. With an arm around his shoulders, she drags him forward to examine the wall, as if it made sense to anyone other than her. She starts talking nonsense, again. Something about friendship and Heaven, things he never really cared about. Things he usually tuned out whenever they came up. He only seems to partake in the conversation once he heard your name.

“Alastor.. She’s one of our first guests. I honestly can’t believe anyone showed up after that terrible interview I had earlier, I’m worried i’ll mess things up, again! I mean, all of Hell already thinks i’m a joke.. I just- really need this to go well.” Her mood seems to calm, but to a state of despair. Alastor let’s out a symphahetic awe, patting the top of her head.

“Aw, our poor princess. I understand your concern, my dear, this hotel must mean quite a lot to you.” He faines a sympathy that only convinces Charlie because of her state of disarray.

“Of course it does! And she’s already so kind, I’m sure she’s close to redemption! Maybe this will be a quick one! A-and we don’t even know it, right? That has to be it!” She seems to be reassuring herself, only to be met with an unresponsive radio demon. She groans. Dragging her feet as she walks to the edge of bed, She sits down and lets her head fall into her hands. 

“I really need this to work. I’ll do anything for this to work..” It was a quiet mumble, muffled into her palms, but Alastor heard exactly what he wanted to hear. His grin twisted, something Charlie didn’t see, as he sits at her side. He gives her a quick pat to her back, in some form of comfort.

“Charlie, dear, I understand how much this little project means to you.. I do. And I want nothing more than to witness you trying as hard as you can to keep it up.” Even if it fails. Charlie looks up to him, the bags under her eyes suddenly very apparent. “How would you feel about a little deal? Just a small one, no souls on the line, I guarantee.” 

She’s been warned by Vaggie in the past. Actually, his entire reputation is enough to make her uneasy by the idea. but… 

“I-I don’t know. What did you have in mind..?” She asks reluctantly. He let’s out a chuckle that almost sounds sinister.

“Believe it or not, our little guest and I have a bit of a history.” You can barely call it a history. You served him and Rosie on occasion when you were working in cannibal town. “I’d be delighted to oversee her safety and process to redemption! It’s just as you said, she’s already a gem, Heaven is waiting for her, I can feel it. This will be a breeze for the both of us.” His offer comes off as sincere and touching to Charlie. It wasn’t like him to openly mention his relationships with other demons yet, the idea of you having a close friend throughout this process might just be what you’re missing.

“That’s so sweet of you, Alastor, but.. What do you want from me?” She has to ponder a moment before even considering letting this go on any further.

“Well, you’ve given me a roof over my head and.. A tower for my broadcasts.. Hmm..” He taps his chin, as if he’s in thought. “I’m not quite sure I’ll need from you at the moment, since you’ve just been so hospitable already.” He places a hand to her shoulder, the kind words causing her eyes to well with tears a bit in her weakened state.

“There has to be something.. Well, maybe we can both think this over, once I have a clear head.” She sighs her words, standing from the bedside. Alastor takes her hand and brings her to a halt.

“Oh, but I’d love to get to work as soon as possible, if I may be so bold.. I’m not quite sure what you could offer me in this moment… How about we work out the details, later?” He speaks as if he’s coming up with these words on the spot. He’s had this planned since day one, though. Any chance to get a favor from the princess, he’ll take. Charlie turns to him and sees the strange green glow surrounding their hands. She attempts to pull away, but his grasp is tight.

“Well.. I mean…” She’s still hesitant. He watches her rub her eyes. The still relevant exhaustion gives him a bit of hope.

“It’s simple. I’ll do everything in my power to keep our little guest comfortable and on the path to redemption, no acception. In return, I’ll ask of you one single favor when the time comes.” The glow only continues to swell with his words, and it's clearly making her reconsider. “It’s not as serious as you may think, Charlie. Just a favor between friends, really.” Friendship seemed to strike the right tone.

“I guess.. If it’s for the hotel… Okay, Alastor. It’s a deal.”

-

Back to the dreaded fight just a few months later. You're seeing red.

“Charlie! You made a deal with Alastor?? What were you thinking?” You’re scolding her at this point. The situation barely had time to cool down before your worries began to kick in. Her horns and ruby eyes are still present, she hasn’t even had time to calm herself from the previous display. Lucifer is essentially holding you back, a hand across your front as you try to approach her. It hurts you a bit. Does he think you’re some kind of danger to her?

..Are you putting her in danger?

Alastor is still propped on the ground. He holds a hand around his neck, in hopes of soothing the aggressive collar that had materialized around it just moments ago. You’re all keeping your distance from eachother.

“I-I wasn’t! I wasn’t thinking! It was after the interview! You saw it, you know didn’t go well! I-I had all of Hell laughing at me, laughing at the hotel- He was offering help, I have no idea why he’s acting this way, I swear..! I.. I-” Charlie’s demonic features start to recede when she feels a hand on her back. With heavy breaths, she looks over to Lucifer, who was standing by her side now, ready to comfort her. With a small hiccup, she falls into his arms, gripping his shirt tightly as she did. Her head fell to his shoulder, thoroughly staining his vest with her tears.

The room is uncomfortably filled with her silent sobs. Your heart aches too much looking at the touching display between father and daughter, and your guilt from snapping at her is making you fidget. That’s when you got to thinking.

The deal was for Alastor watch over you until you got to Heaven. For him to do anything in his power to keep you on the path to redemption. To prevent any behavior that might stunt that process..

“Oh.. oh, my god. You’ve been buttering me up this whole time.” You turn to face a still recovering Alastor. The realization grabs the attention of both Morningstars, they raise their heads to look towards the commotion. “The gifts, all the time we spent together.. Was because of this deal? Did.. did you ever actually care about me?” You grip at your heart, ready to rip it straight from your chest. He stands, brushing debris from his entirety.

“I doubt you’ll believe me after such a display of violence, but.. Yes. I did enjoy our time together, despite the requisite of being under my protection. It was quite entertaining before it was… tainted.” His hisses out his final words, contrasting the sweetness of it all. Tainted?

He was kind to you as soon as you arrived in the hotel. Despite the drama, you’ve been inseparable since. Things only got convoluted after.. 

“Under your protection..? Is that why you’ve been turning me away from Lucifer?! Fuck- it is! You’ve been playing games with me for months! Getting in my head..! H-How could you..” He hasn’t just been physically keeping the two of you apart. From day one, your mind was manipulated into thinking Lucifer never wanted you.

“Well.. not to defend myself, dear, but I was merely considering your redemption. I believe there’s some sort of sin in worshipping the Devil.” Oh, now he’s just trying to make more trouble.

“Oh, fuck you Al, I don’t worship him, I love him!” Your comical response seems to drive a shocked expression or two towards you. But you’re too upset to elaborate. You want to tear him apart. You want to see him experience as much pain as you’re feeling now. Luckily, you weren’t the only one. In a blur of a movement, Alastor was brought back to the ground with a thud.

A foot to his chest, Charlie has him pinned to the ground. Her fists are clenched, the aura surrounding her creates a suffocating heat.

“You took advantage of me, Alastor. You betrayed my friends, my family.. My trust.” Despite the demonic tones underlying her voice, it still sounds pained. You didn’t know she could do this, but her clenched fists become encased in fire. Just like her fathers’.

You’re surprised to see him lurking behind, but not attacking. After all you’ve seen, you were sure he’d have ripped Alastor’s head off at this point. His eyes widen, a display of fear you werent expecting. You follow his gaze to see Charlie holding a familiar angelic spear to his neck.

You hear an unearthly growl come from her chest, and before you can think, your arm is wrapped around hers. You can feel the resistance, realizing you had stopped her right as she was about to put an end to it all. Put an end to him.

“Charlie! Stop!” You yell out. You have to do it once or twice more, your words not quite reaching her yet. Once she turns to you, her eyes are still dripping with tears. “Charlie, don’t. This isn’t you. You’ll regret it, I know you will.. I know you.” You’re begging her to stop. As you feel the muscles in her arm start to relax, you reach for the spear and pull it gently from her hands. She releases her grasp without a fight.

You usher her off, glancing back to Alastor for a moment to see his wound had reopened from that. He had an obvious slash across his neck. You gulped, realizing how close she was to actually killing him. She places her hand over yours, where your arms are still linked.

Charlie let’s out a sigh, looking to her shaking hands, then clenching her fists. She looks to you, then back to Alastor.

“But.. everything he’s done to you… It’s not right, I’m not sure I can forgive him..” She’s speaking quietly to you.

“Well.. You don’t have to forgive him. But he doesn't deserve to die, Charlie.” You state the obvious and it makes her flinch. “And.. you should let him stay.” You hear a collective What? from the room.

“I know I know.. but… this whole place is about second chances. I.. think he can change. And even though, he is being such a dick right now-” Your voice is cracking, as if you can hardly believe your own words. “-I still believe it. You taught me that.” You smile up to Charlie. After a moment you turn your head to Lucifer, meeting his eyes. He looks more in shock than anyone, almost hurt by your act of mercy. You’re surprised by his expression, not realizing Charlie had slipped from your side to approach Alastor.

“She’s right, you know. I can’t forgive you, Alastor. Not yet, at least.. But you’re welcome to stay here, considering all the help you’ve done for the hotel.” She sounds stern, still not entirely convinced this is the right call.

“Yeah, some help you’ve been, you prick..” Those are the first words Lucifer has muttered in awhile. You approach his side to jab him with your elbow and shush him. Despite your scolding action, your presence only reminds him of your previous confession. He crosses his arms and continues to curse quietly, despite his flushed cheeks. Charlie steps closer to Alastor.

“You’re still here, because of her.” Charlie’s voice goes dark as she gestures to you. “That favor I owe you? Is letting you live. This deal is done, Alastor.” She hisses her words out. The intensity and anger radiating from two of the most powerful creatures in Hell is enough to leave even Alastor a bit weary. He nods, still gripping his wound that has been repeatedly opened these past few days. Other than that, he slinks away with barely a scratch. Lucky him. 

Once he’s out of sight, Charlie let’s out a groan and falls to her knees. With a unison call of her name both you and Lucifer rush to her side. You place a hand on her back, attempting to keep any displaced hair from her face. She leans into Lucifer’s chest, a heartaching sight of sniffles and apologies.

Before long, she seemed to exhaust herself. Curled up to his chest, Lucifer smiles, despite the circumstances of their closeness. He lifts his eyes just slightly to see yours. You look embarrassed. Before he has a chance to question you, you rise from the ground.

“You should take her to bed.” You say in a hushed tone, gripping your arms and making some distance. “She needs some rest after.. all that.”

“Sure, but.. are you-” He speaks just as softly, opening a portal behind him silently.

“I’m fine. I’m-” You let out a sigh, beginning to move towards the stairs. “She needs to rest, Lucifer.” You remind him.

“Oh- Oh.. Right, yeah.” He rises to his feet, effortlessly lifting Charlie into his arms and stepping through the portal. You try to keep moving. You try to not meet his eyes as the portal shuts, but you find yourself unable to go on. Once they’re gone, you cover your mouth, only making your labored breaths worse, but you’re desperate to muffle any cries. You feel yourself wobble in place, before seeing a portal open to your side. It leads to your room.

After stepping through, you silently approach your bed. Your legs suddenly turn led, and you're hitting your bed with a gasp. Your exhaustion is enough to keep your sobs to a minimum at least.

-

The feeling you have when you wake up is worse than any hangover you’ve had. With alcohol you can at least forget your troubles. But on this morning, you can vividly remember the previous night. You sit up, your body aching. You only wonder why for a moment, before realizing you had fallen asleep sideways across your bed, your legs still dangling off the side. You still need sleep.

You remove any uncomfortable clothing or accessories that had pressed marks into your body and return to bed. The right way, this time. Your pillows feel like heaven after all that’s happened. Heaven..

You try your best to sleep, you really do. Your body is essentially begging you to empty your thoughts just for a few more minutes. But your mind is sending you tossing and turning, any times you close your eyes, all you can imagine is everything you've done wrong. Your eyes drift open after trying to force them shut, and your eyes spot the radio on your nightstand. You sit silently for a moment, maybe try to close your eyes again..

Nope.

Before you have a chance to process every movement, you’re opening your door and thoughtlessly throwing the radio outside. You don’t care where it ends up, clearly. You were waiting to hear it break, into multiple pieces hopefully, before shutting your door. You’re met with a startled groan instead. Taking a moment to process that you had thrown an old-timey radio at someone, you stand at your door with a yawn.

The panic hits you. It could’ve been Alastor, assuming he stayed. It could’ve been Charlie, who doesn’t need any more conflict. You could’ve taken out Niffty as far as you know. Swinging the door open, your eyes see the radio first. They’re wrapped in your victim’s arms.

“Good catch.” You let out hoarsly, rubbing the sleep from your eyes to clearly see Lucifer.. It could've been worse. He let’s out a breathless thanks, clearly having the air knocked out of him. You definitely didn’t hold back with that throw. And it wasn’t exactly a lightweight radio.

“Er.. Sorry. I meant to say sorry.” You try to recover, your words are followed by another yawn. You watch him drop the radio into a small portal he conjured below his grip.

“Good morning to you, too. I was, uh.. about to check on charlie, but-” He’s ready for a conversation that you aren’t. You quickly shake your head, pulling your door in.

“Nono, I need some time.. To wake up. I’ll see you around, though.” You didn’t expect him to perk up from his words, but he does. His smile is infectious. You watch him give you a little wave before shutting your door. You lean against it, your smile that you had been presenting to him, leaves you almost immediately.

There’s so much on your mind. You scan your room, memories of Alastor popping up no matter where you looked. Every chat you’ve had in here, every moment you’d call him in for advice for clothes or accessories, all the nights you’d fall asleep listening to his voice. Your eyes stopped at your vanity seat. Draped across the back is a bittersweet sight, your gifted red sweater. You finally rise to your feet, quickly reaching for it and holding it tightly in your hands. You hesitate before bringing it to your nose. You’re not sure why. Why would you want to remind yourself of anything involving him? Did you think that same scent that’s brought you comfort so many times would have the same affect? You give it a shot.

Hesitantly breathing in, you’re immediately reeling back, throwing the sweater down to your ground. Your hand covers your nose, that sickenlingly sweet honey scent now smells like rotten flesh. Like road kill. You need some air. Digging out a different sweater, one you haven’t had to use in months, you decide you just need to walk around for a bit. The hotel was big enough that you could safely avoid any unwanted attention. Plus, you were sure Alastor’s pride was too wounded to freely roam the hotel. And his other wound.. You hope he’s okay.

You groan out loud, mentally cursing yourself for your sympathetic thoughts. You make your way down to the lobby, and are met with a surprisingly clean lounge. You scan the walls that were previously cracked, the carpets that should be stained with blood, then wonder where Vaggie’s suddenly conjured spear might have gone. What would have possessed Charlie to choose such a weapon.. an angelic spear? She didnt really want him dead, did she? She's emotional. And extreme. Like her father. You decide not to question it any further. It’s not like you were upset by the erasure of the previous night's events.

-

A day or two passed. Your mind seemed unwilling to accept the reality you're currently in. You're anxious, and paranoid to any sentence thrown your way. You're constantly looking around corners, checking all parts if your room before locking it for the night. Yet, if someone were to ask what was making you so nervous, you wouldn’t have an answer.

You found yourself taking those little strolls often, though. Keeping your body in motion, with only the sounds of your breathing keeping you company, seemed to clear your mind. It never helped come to terms with any seething pain you felt, but it cleared your mind at the least.

You'd pieced together a few things in the meantime. After passing the bar, where Angel and Husk were chatting, they would smile and wave, ask you join them form a drink, but you’d decline. Neither of them seemed to know about anything. Maybe Niffty cleaned the mess. Maybe Alastor asked her to. Before anyone could see the outcome of his mistakes.

You passed Vaggie in a hall, and she immediately looked concerned. She opened her mouth, an Are you okay? sits on the tip of her tongue. But then she looked at you. Your body only mirrored the fog of your mind, baggy eyed and wrapped in some blanket as you roamed the halls like a damned ghost.

“Hey, um- it's.. it's gonna be-" you held your hand up to her.

“I know. Thank you.” You smile, the action stiff, considering you hadn't used those muscles in awhile. Vaggie knew. That was fair, though. You were glad Charlie had someone to confide with. You walked on after she gave a hesitant goodbye wave.

One night, when your body had taken over and you were wandering aimlessly, you realized where you ended up. Not only were you standing in front of Lucifer's workshop, he had already spotted you through the window on the door. He opened it before you could fully take in your surroundings.

“Hey..” You let out softly. What else are you supposed to say? You didn’t come prepared. You feel embarrassed standing in front of him, realizing how much of a mess you must look. You're not even sure what part of your mind made you end up here.

He doesn't respond at first, another speechless moment letting your mind wander. He opens the door more, offering his space to you. You look at him and he smiles before you shuffle inside. You take in the sight. You haven't actually seen it, considering your circumstances after the hotel was renovated.

“It looks nice in here.” You say quietly, your voice cracking just a bit. You walk through, tracing your fingers along desks and tables, stopping and looking at family photos on occasion. You looked to Lucifer’s smiling face in a picture where he was lovingly holding his wife and daughter. How did you end up like this?

“Oh- um.. thank you, it's more than enough space for me, but, uh.. it's nice.” His voice sounds unfamiliar as it snaps you from your mindset. He moves to his main bench, which is slightly elevated by a platform that connects to the windowed wall. You eventually make your way around, standing near him.

“Are.. you… How are you..?” You listen to him struggle to form such a simple question, and yet you have an equally hard time trying to respond. Obviously, you were crushed. devastated by the betrayal and overwhelmed by everything else.

“I'm okay.” You reply thoughtlessly. It was your go-to answer. You hear a muffled chuckle and look over to him. He's blocking the laughter with his fist in front of his lips. Is he laughing at you?

“Sorry sorry, I just.. know that you're lying. You've done this before, don't forget how much time I've actually spent with you.” You want to scold him for acting so bold, for saying he knows you better than yourself, but..

You're leaning against the table in one moment, and before you know it, you're hoisted to sit on its top. You felt like a relief you didn't realize. Your feet were aching. How long were you walking the in the halls today? The sensation of his hands planted on your waist. to steadily bring you to the counter, lingered after he had removed them.

“I used to see you wandering around back home- at the mansion, I mean. usually after a tough day. But it's been a few days, so I just thought you might be-”

“Why are you so calm?” Your sudden question made him visibly finch. "You were tricked, too, you know. He tore us apart. How can you be handling this so well?” Your voice starts to turn agitated. You weren't sure why you were taking it out on himm, but you both knew in the moment that this was the first time you’ve let any emotion out since the fight.

“It's like some.. malevolent force is constantly tearing us apart. One moment I'm happy, I'm in love, I'm smiling- then the next, you're just gone. and everything else that keeps me sane goes with it.” You feel a flood of tears beginning to well. Tears that you should've been letting out days ago. “Is this some kind of fucking curse? Why can’t things just be easy..? A-Are we just doomed?” You're wiping your face clear, your words becoming sloppy and hoarse.

“Maybe.” Your head lifts to see him, still calm as before, but with a solemn look on his face. “But, we keep finding eachother, right? And all the good times.. they'll stay good, won’t they?” You nod your head reluctantly.

He approaches you, with a hand on your shoulder, he's wiping away tears with the other.

“Honestly? I'm not handling this well at all. You're right, the universe has done nothing but tear us apart and hurt both of us. And I’m just about ready to tear Alastor limb by limb. I want Charlie to be okay.. I want to keep you by my side and never let you out of my sight this time.” You see his emotions range throughout his words, his eyes flashing red for a moment. He calms himself down, running his hand down your arm to hold your hand. You don't resist.

“But, you made some good points back there. And I just thought.. if you're strong enough to let that prick live, after everything, then.. Maybe I-I.. I'm trying to be strong.” He sounds almost embarrassed to admit it, and the comment on your strength leaves you a bit red in the cheeks. “You've always been so strong, darling. I just wish you'd tell me how you're really feeling.. I miss talking to you. Not this.. empty shell.” His words stung and he knew it as soon as they slipped from his lips.

“W-wait, no, I mean..”

“It’s fine, you're not wrong.. Jerk.” You share a little laugh with him, the mood lightening for just a moment. “Lucifer, I'm.. I'm so tired.” You let out weakly. That barely scratches the surface of everything. It's as if your mind was boiling over, with all the thoughts of Alastor turning sour, and the thoughts of redemption suddenly in question, not to mention all those feelings of Lucifer that were repressed until just recently. You want Charlie to be okay. You want things to be normal, but.. you're not quite sure what normal looks like. You wish you could say all this to him.. it’s hard to put it to words. But you're trying. He makes you want to try harder.

You feel a gentle hand holding your cheek, bringing your blurred thoughts to clarity and meeting eyes that left you breathless. When was the last time you've looked in his eyes? A blush forms across his cheeks, your gaze seems to fluster him. He clears his throat, getting his mind back.

“You're not okay. But.. You will be. I promise.” With a wry smile, you let the weight of your head fall into his palm.

Your eyes meet. He leans in and you feel his arms snake around yout waist. Looking back, you're almost embarrassed by the way you leaned towards him, eyes shut, head tilted, your lips just slightly parted. You were startled by the feeling of his head resting on your shoulder. He only pulls you closer after he feels your breath start to deepen, his hands gentle across your back. You finally return his touch, digging your nose into the crook of his neck and gripping tightly at his shirt.

It used to feel like, if you let go, you'll never hold him again. God, how the possibility scares you. But.. it feels a little different this time. You weren’t worried about him disappearing, this time.

You’re so comforted by his presence, you let yourself fully relax to him. You open your eyes just slightly, blinking out some tears that still remained, thoroughly ruining his top. You pull away, meeting his eyes again.

You feel as if you were close to forgetting this side of him, but you recognize this face. You saw it the night you first kissed him. You saw it after seeing him at the hotel for the first time, then when he decided to sweep you off your feet for a little date. You saw it after every little date that followed. You realize he's never stopped looking at you this way.

“I love you, too.”

-

I had to put that worship the devil in there it just made me laugh so sorry if that seemed out of place lol

And not to fear my friends,

I plan on making a little epilogue about how everyone's recovering, and some sweet, yummy, fluffy goodness to top it off.

Again, Thank you all so much for your support! :)

I'll be working on some requests next, and some more vamp Luci! Kind of in love with that guy ngl

Taglist! (good lord I hope I got everybody )

( @vififofum / @thornwolfy235 / @tinywolfiegirl / @chipper-chip / @bat-boness

@misfitgirlwrites / @nayomi247 / @lonelynmisunderstood / @escapistoftherealworld / @b4ts1e / @hamthepan / @kyo-kyo1 / @looking1016 / @polytheatrix / @littledolly2345 / @lillianastuff / @yourlocalcryptidbee /@0strawberrysorbet0 / @themageofblood / @jayyyayaysblog / @floralsightings / @azmosposts / @8har0ley8 / @actuallyspiderwoman / @sirenetheblogger / @christineblood / @kaytemchugh / @cimadreamer / @simpdevil66 / @azmosposts / @m3ow1 / @acrazyartist / @redfoxwritesstuff / @4k1to / @meesachan / @corvusskid / @alientee /@xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx / @alon3lylov3r /@sapphireravensworld / @mjmdragons / @catticora / @the-maladaptivedaydreamer / @carrie0-1 / @shamblezzz / @cassandras-nest / @wendigonamecaller / @chirimeimei / @sapphireravensworld / @sillywormtrixareforkids

[phoenixyfriend]

Suggested Listening: Columbia Protests (as of 4/25/24)

Alright, folks, I've seen a couple different approaches to this situation, and I think there's something to be learned from each of the below. I know some of them have a contested reputation, but all media sources have a bias and I will be including some context on those biases.

The podcasts I'm sharing are:

The Daily (New York Times)

The Take (Al Jazeera)

Democracy Now! (independent radio broadcast)

Global News Podcast (BBC Radio)

It's come up a few times on NPR as well, but not in enough detail for me to include. I will be linking Spotify, but these are all available elsewhere, though official transcripts can take several days.

The Daily - April 25th, 2024: This podcast is a production of The New York Times. The paper is left-leaning, but has a noted bias towards Israel, and has run into trouble on trans issues in the recent past. The podcast is further left, though still more cautiously moderate than something like Democracy Now; the podcast has previously been responsible for fact checks against the more biased NYT opinion pieces.*

Why you should listen to it: This episode provides the most comprehensive timeline to what has happened, in what order, and why certain actions have been taken. It is notably more sympathetic to Columbia University President Shafik than other coverage, though that may just be the natural result of explaining the current political pressures. It is still more sympathetic to the protesters than to her, but I do think this is helpful for establishing a timeline of events. It is not the only one, and I will share another below.

* That infamous article about the alleged systemic sexual violence that Hamas committed on Oct. 7th was put through a fact checker by the podcast team when it came time to do an episode about it, and the inability to substantiate it led to not only the episode being cancelled, but the article itself being (quietly) edited to note that it was not substantiated. The NYT did not handle it well, but I want to make it clear that the podcast team is independent in many respects, and while I've taken issue with some of their episodes, they often have more comprehensive coverage of certain matters.

The Take - April 25th, 2024: This is a podcast from the English-speaking branch of Al Jazeera, a Qatari news organization that, while independent, does receive a certain amount of funding from the Qatari government. By that measure, I do hesitate to place it on a left-right scale due to existing outside the Western political spectrum. As a Middle Eastern, Arab news org, Al Jazeera provides a perspective much closer to the action than others, and one that is generally much more sympathetic to Muslim and Arab voices. It is also, like the others on this list, an award-winning journal. At this time, Al Jazeera is considered one of the most reliable news sources for information on what is happening in Gaza, through their Palestinian correspondents; they have also been banned in Israel as antisemitic propaganda.

I need to make it very clear that I am not in any way denigrating it for having Qatari government funding; the BBC shares many of those factors, just British.

Why you should listen to it: Al Jazeera got a reporter into the student protest encampment in Columbia, and got more direct interviews with some of the students on the ground. This is part two of their coverage of the protests; Part One (April 24th, 2024)provides another perspective of the timeline, which focuses on different factors, generally closer to the events in Columbia than the national factors.

Democracy Now! - April 23rd, 2024: This is a far left/progressive radio broadcast (repackaged for podcast streaming) that has been running since 1996. They often have interviews with people that I haven't necessarily seen other podcasts bring in, and while I would not consider them extreme, I do sometimes find that certain details get left out in pursuit of a more black-and-white narrative.

Why you should listen to it: Cohost Juan González has been in the field of progressive journalism for a very long time, but it's more relevant than ever for this episode: González was one of the original organizers for the 1968 Columbia protests that resulted in one of the largest mass arrests in NYPD history. The 1968 protests were massive, and deeply impactful on a national scale. González's perspective on how this current protest compares to the one he helped organize nearly sixty years ago is a fascinating way to think about the current events.

Global News Podcast - April 25th, 2024: BBC is a very centrist source for journalism, funded primarily by the UK government and advertising. As such, their coverage tends to lean in favor of the current party, though they do not 'toe the party line' as such. They do regularly platform right-wing activists, but they also have correspondents in the Middle East with a more progressive perspective. I would compare them to CNN in the US; ineffective in terms of opinion, and comparatively milquetoast on that front, but capable of getting access to high-level events that smaller networks aren't.

Why you should listen to it: ...honestly, this is just a 'round it out' kind of suggestion, to get an idea of what the international community is thinking of the events at Columbia. I don't think they necessarily contribute much in terms of factual discovery, but it helps with getting the lay of the land.

[ghnosis]

*rips bong* (this is my bong in case you're curious)

so some of you have asked me, over the course of the 80-someodd interviews I have so far conducted, why I am doing my PhD on Ghost.

tonight a participant asked me in a manner that sort of finally clicked for me - because I assume all of you live inside my head with me and know why I do everything.

Rose, why are you doing your PhD on Ghost fandom?

when I was 12, American Idiot by Green Day came out. I lost my mind immediately. Green Day were my first hyperfixation. I promise if you ask about "Green Day Girl" to people I went to high school with, they would remember me. not only did Green Day teach me about the Iraq War, and American progressive politics in general, they also taught me, a bullied and weird child, what it meant not to give a shit. someone thinks I'm wrong/bad/inferior? cool! I don't fucking care. "now everybody do the propaganda," etc.

if I kept talking about everything I learned from Green Day, we'd be here all night. but. Green Day *also* taught me that music didn't have to sound like pop, or like country. that music could be written because someone felt something. that music could be used to express rage, a thing I felt in spades.

so from Green Day, my door is blown wide the fuck open and I get to learn about Dead Kennedys, about David Bowie, about Nirvana.

the other thing I know I love, back then in 2004, is learning. and teaching.

fast forward 15ish years, give or take (or pack me a second bowl and I'll tell you the middle), and I'm looking, halfheartedly and in a bummed-out manner, for a PhD program. I have my master's, I didn't like the experience, but I want that Dr. I've been presenting at conferences and doing some piddly academic writing on video games and the use of games in education, and I'm on a listserv for other people writing about games. I get an email from someone at Falmouth University about a PhD program there in "Dark Economies." who's listed on the email? none other than Tanya Fucking Krzywinska, my number one academic girl crush (in my subject area. my actual number one is a historian)!!!!!!

so I read this email and it's talking about the intersection of the occult, video games, and heavy metal. as I said, I've been writing about video games. one of the things I'd been writing about was a certain thing that happened in that industry ooooh, 14 years ago now. something in my brain slots into place.

the occult: I know what that is. occult rock, certainly. I maybe could squeeze in some punk or pop punk. the goffik. we got some MCR.

heavy metal. well, I'm a punk girl through and through, but I used to date that guy in the metal band and have seen Slayer et al multiple times live. sure. I can occupy that world. wait a minute. Ghost.

video games. the thing I'd been writing about, specifically the mistreatment of anyone who wasn't a cis guy. you know what that sounds a lot like? sounds a lot like going to metal shows with my ex. WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE. GHOST??? on TUNGLE DOT HELL???

so I log my ass back on to this website and I look at you, at all of you beautiful people I'd been reblogging ass wobbling gifs with for years, and I said "oh my god. are they me? is whatever is going on in there just a bunch of me's, except it's Ghost not Green Day?

are all of you finding the most beautiful thing there is to find, namely, empowerment and freedom, in the goofy Satan band music band? was it the heaviest thing you had heretofore encountered? did it crack open a yawning chasm in your soul? were you hurting in ways you didn't know how to articulate? are you learning what it means to take up space, to demand rights for yourself and for others, to truly let your fucking freak flags fly? are you feeling the stirring in your heart that only comes from religion (read: witchcraft) or from seeing the most important band in the fucking world live, in the flesh, singing TO YOU, sweating FOR YOU? if you are, I think we are fucking important and vital. I think that we can tell our stories and make a bunch of other weird little girls realise that they, too, have rights - including to transition.

cos immediately in doing this research I found out - you're also NOT me, in some really important and specific ways. maybe being AFAB in the US isn't part of it. maybe it's bigger than that. and I feel so lucky, so truly fucking blessed and lucky, to have gotten to speak to over eighty of you beautiful people, to have been trusted with your stories. to learn what makes YOU ache in your soul and how it is different to but also the same as mine. I have to stop now I'm gonna cry!!!!

[zzzykiek]

Play it Sweet

2P Alastor (Blueberry) x Diabetc fem!OC Reader

Chapter 2: Done Deal?

(parenthasis indicate MCs thoughts)

*Please dont share without credit*

TW: Creepy Boss, diabetes, coerced kiss

Current chapter is SFW however future ones will not be so Minors please DNI.

The blue deer demon snaps and then is gone from under the table, causing you to startle and scramble out yourself. As you turn, your eyes fall to a pair of unique blue sneakers, your gaze trails up as you stand taking in the sight of who you had to assume to be your new friend (Can I call him that yet?). Blue jeans and a shiny sky blue shirt with a white and blue argyle sweater. His face remains relatively the same, albeit with a more human tone. You note the blue lipstick he now wears. (Never would have expected that to be attractive.) The blue of his eyes is reduced to the Irises only (They are still so mesmerizing.), ears gone, and his blue hair replaced with a platinum blond fringe adorned with blue tipped bangs. He smiles and holds out a hand for you to take, blue painted nails rest gently on the back of your hand as he pulls you up.

“Al, pleasure to be meeting you, quite a pleasure,” There was something oddly attractive yet sinister in his voice as he introduced himself, placing a kiss on the back of your hand leaving a blue stamp of his lips behind. Now it was your turn to blush, you felt the heat burning from your cheeks and down your neck as he looked into your eyes. The glint of mischief and danger made you sigh.

You had to shake that away quickly as you could hear your boss's footsteps approaching.

“Suniffa, where did you get off to?”

You couldn't hide the snarl at your boss's attempted caring tone.

Al raised an eyebrow and somehow you understood, “Clifford,” you whisper.

Al kept your hand in his and jumped into a laugh as if you had just said the best joke. “You can’t be serious; no wonder you wanted me to cover this for my broadcast!”

As your boss peeks into the break room, Al made eye contact with him. “Oh you must be Clifford; you must forgive my late arrival. I intended to make it to the meeting, but my flight from New Orleans got delayed. I don't know why I ever trust those flying contraptions to get me anywhere on time. Suniffa has been just beaming about all the wonderful opinions of the people. I would love to get some interviews. Oh! Do forgive me; I jumped over some important bits.”

Releasing your hand, he moves to fully face your boss, one hand behind his back, the other outstretched for a shake.

“Al, host of the Evening Tea, KMFDM Radio; Pleasure to meet you, quite a pleasure!”

He firmly shook your boss's hand. (Was this the same timid deer you just had stuttering under the breakroom table?) You saw your boss light up hearing his position as a media personality. Though you also saw the slight sneer towards Al’s lips and nails. (They were perfect….. Wait, where did that thought come from?)

“Well, I had no idea my Sunni was being so proactive in her new PR role!”

You flinched at his use of that damned nickname.

“You said you wanted to have the opinions of the people fully heard; what better way than the best broadcast for controversial topics in the US! Al has been a friend for a while so when you dropped this project on me, he was the first one I called.” (Where did that random information come from?) Al slid his arm around your waist, you knew he could read right through your boss and see his unsavory thoughts toward you. Though having a demon take a protective stance for you was new. Being able to understand as if you were telepathically connected was also very new…but definitely helpful in this situation.

“And I have been itching for a good community to feature for this quarrel of literary proportions,”

You couldn’t help but chortle at Al’s choice of wording. Suddenly you felt light headed (Oh shit, I originally came in here to boost my blood sugar…and never did). You whimper slightly and Al’s attention turning toward you as your hand shoots up to his shoulder. You try to smile.

“Whoops, Al, I was so excited to see you I forgot why I left the meeting. My blood sugar is running a bit low,”

You saw Clifford make a move forward as if to scoop you up, but Al beat him to it. (Thank Lucifer.)

“Darling! You really need to take better care of yourself.'' He gently sat you in one of the chairs and went back over to the donut box pulling out a headlight donut you knew wasn't there before. (Wait, didn't he eat the last one?) “Headlights are still your favorite right?” he asks, that mischievous glint in his eyes letting you know he was toying with your boss and loving it. (To be honest you were too. It had been a while since you had the attention of someone you wanted it from…The comment about wanting company wasn't all in jest.) He positions himself next to you, half sitting on the arm of the chair handing you the doughnut. You happily accept and bite into it as he engages in conversation with Clifford. You are in no state to engage at the moment, absentmindedly leaning your head against Al’s torso. His hand moves to gently rest on your shoulder bringing your awareness to the position you had taken. (I just got cuddly with a summoned entity without a thought WTF is wrong with me?) You glance up, slightly flushed. His attention is fully on your boss; his eyes are gleaming as he is apparently winning some sort of internal competition he set. You then look over to your boss, whose gaze has moved from Al to the point where his blue nails stand out against your black sleeve, eye twitching at the sight. He clears his throat and obviously changes the subject on Al.

“So, How exactly do you and Al know each other, Sunni dear?” Clifford gives you his full attention.

“Hmm, well I was his fan first and foremost. I always love a good serving of gossip and he was the best one I knew to truly give all sides with no filter.” (Why am I talking so animatedly and excited about a story that doesn't exist…. I hope Al is ok with this.) You glance over to see Al beaming at your response. “I started calling in to contribute to his show, and then when I needed some extra experience for my portfolio, I reached out to see if he could spare a day or two for me to shadow him.”

“Her comments were always most impressive! I loved picking her brain when she rang in. There was no question of helping her gain some experience in my studio! Besides…” Al tilts his attention from Cliff to you, as your cheeks flush with the look of pure adoration in his eyes. “It was the perfect excuse to meet the little sunshine of my show in person.” He flashes his gaze back to your boss. “Best decision of my life! I am sure you feel the same with hiring quite the impressive young lady! Can you believe that was two years ago, darling.” His attention is back on you.

“Has it really been that long? Oh my time flies!” You laugh, the first real laugh you have had in a while, and you can't help but see the flush and flash of desire pass in Al’s eyes. (Is that what that was? My laugh cant be that nice can it?)

“I can't believe it took me that long to come see you, my sunshine! I do wish I had been able to get us together in person again sooner. But I am here now! We have much to catch up on.” He settles back against the back of the chair and gently runs his fingers through your hair as his hand makes its way back to your shoulder, sending light static through your body. It felt so good you had closed your eyes and leaned into his hand. “Are you feeling better now?” He looks back at you with genuine concern. Your eyes fly open.

“Yes, Al, Thankfully the dizziness doesn't last once I get some sweets in me,” you can’t help but giggle at some very inappropriate thoughts that pass through your mind regarding the sweet demon perched to your right. (Where did those ideas come from…?)

“Good, can't have anything dimming my sunshine while I am here,” He gently squeezes your shoulder as he stands.

“Well, Mr Clifford, when would be a good time to arrange for some interviews? I will need some time to observe the library activities and craft some questions and scripts of course.” Al bursts your little thought bubble with his abrupt switch in modes. Your attention is drawn back to your boss who is obviously fighting some sort of internal conflict. You knew his desire for media coverage would win out.

“How about we do Friday? That should give you two days to observe and curate your questions and a day for myself and the other board members to review said questions.”

“Of course Suniffa will review them before I hand them in! I wouldn't think of doing anything without her approval.” Al interrupts him, obviously wanting to cut out the last part of Clifford's plans. You stand up at the mention of your name. “Let's do Thursday at the latest. I was hoping to use Friday to play a little catch up for my two years of absence.”

“Oh Al! That’s so sweet!” You step up and embrace him, wrapping your arms around his torso under his arms, thankful your back was facing your boss so as to avoid the daggers you know he was throwing at you. (Thank goodness Al embraced me tightly in return.) Then you give an over-exaggerated sigh into the crook of his neck. (Did he just shiver?) “I am scheduled to work though…”

Al’s hand finds its way to your hair in a comforting yet oddly possessive gesture, “Well, I am sure, considering all I am putting into your town's broadcast, that your boss can let you free for a day at least,” his words come out in a firm and demanding tone. Lifting your head you enjoy the profile view of Al returning Cliff’s glare ten fold.

“Better have her check her schedule before granting anything, don't want my Sunni to fall behind,”

You break off the surprisingly comforting yet demonic embrace and twirl excitedly to face your boss.

“Friday is the library inventory, which thanks to my new position, I am no longer involved with, so it works out perfectly!” You watch your boss's eye twitch, definitely regretting that promotion now, even if it had put you in the same office area working directly with him.

“Wonderful!” He bites out with a clenched jaw, trying so hard not to explode at the broadcaster about to bring his dreams to life. (So he thinks.) “We will plan for the interviews on Thursday. What did you wish to observe until then?”

“Oh there is no need to waste your precious time with that, I can arrange all that with your wonderful PR representative.” Al gives your hand a covert squeeze. (Don't let him take over.)

“Of course! I do have a drafted itinerary already prepared, a tour will be the first activity!”

“Always prepared, Sunni!” Clifford gently takes your arm, “Where do we begin?”

You take a peek at your watch. “Oh my, time flies when planning such important events! Four p.m. has arrived. I am sorry Al; the tour will have to be first thing in the morning.”

“Oh, not a problem at all! In fact, that is preferred. After all the kerfuffle with my flights, I am quite tuckered out.” Al smooths his sweater as he turns to you with a look that takes you a moment to decipher. (How many of this Boss of your's buttons can I push?) You smirk in answer. (As many as you want.)

“It was wonderful to meet you Mr. Clifford! I look forward to picking your brain tomorrow.” He shakes Cliff’s hand firmly then softly offers his hand to you. “I am so happy you thought to bring me here for such a grand story!” He places another kiss on your hand, ensuring Cliff has a view of his stamped lips left behind on your skin. “Now I must apologize, my sunshine, I wasn't able to arrange for transport or lodging past making it here to you.”

“Al, you don't have to worry about that! I have plenty of room and what hotel could provide you with a recording studio any way?” If your boss was jealous before…he was about to blow his top now.

“I never doubted you wouldn't welcome my company. I will have to make sure we are properly supplied. I do owe you some of my blueberry pancakes after all.”

You'd never felt so excited in your life, and from the looks of it, Al seemed to be just as excited!

“Let me grab my purse and print the itinerary for you gentleman to review tonight.” You walk down the hall to grab your things, and you hear hushed arguing floating down the hall from the break room. (Somehow you didn't doubt Al would set your boss in his place.) A few moments later, you hear footsteps as Al turns the corner to your office, an absolutely manic look on his face. “Cliff said to leave the itinerary on his desk; he needed to get home.” Al suddenly grabs your chin and pulls you to meet his gaze. (How tall is he? Even in human form, he stood taller than Clifford and was at least a foot above you…)

“You're lucky you're pretty and I find this little rivalry fun. I don't usually step in before a deal is made.” (Oh shit…I thought things were going good.) Al then pulls you up to him, making you stand on your tiptoes, and forcefully presses his lips to yours. It's passionate, desperate, yet somehow chaste as it ends abruptly. (Ok… I hope that means he likes me.)

“What do you want in exchange for your help?”

His eyes soften as he thinks for a moment. “Y-you… I-I-I want you.”

You don't even think before the word spills from your lips “Deal.”

A flash of green light and an odd sensation fills you and when you regain awareness, Al’s lips are on yours again. He seems more nervous this time. He breaks the kiss and you see tears in his eyes. He’s visibly shaking. You tightly embrace him. (I know a panic attack when I see one.)

Notes------

2P Alastor originates from the following

[rebellionsuite]

loki season two is starting to be promoted and here’s your reminder NOT to watch it

the loki show did damage to not only loki’s character as a whole, but to bisexual and genderfluid people as well.

for years, loki has been a comic character that is well known for their bisexuality and genderfluidity. a huge component to this was the ‘loki: agent of asgard’ series written by al ewing (a personal favorite of mine). many queer people opened up their arms to welcome this representation. had i known i was bisexual at the time that mcu loki was my favorite character ever, i just know i would’ve been ecstatic, which i was when the first looks at season one came out.

the first red flag should’ve been when it was revealed that in loki’s tva files, his sex was labeled as “fluid” when it’s actually his gender. i remember people being skeptical and wary about it but continued to hope for the representation that the cast promised in interviews beforehand. (if anyone is able to find which interview this was in, please let me know so i could link it.)

then as the series went on for the next six weeks, hopes of there being representation dwindled. there was the line of “a bit of both” when sylvie asked if loki courted princes or princesses and he assumed it was the same for sylvie, which was SOMETHING at the time! people were happy… for the first few days or so. we quickly realized that this was probably disney’s way of telling but never showing considering their infamous prejudice against lgbt+ rep. it was quite literally the bare minimum — a throwaway line so to say that could easily be forgotten by the average viewer. i recall that lots of people were huge shippers of loki x mobius and thought that maybe, just MAYBE, there would be something more explicitly romantic between them and hey, maybe there will be in season two! but it’s disney. you can understand that there’s not a whole lot of hope.

then comes loki’s genderfluidity. to start off, the whole existence of sylvie is the most damaging. in agent of asgard, loki has confirmed that no matter how she presents, she is always loki. there’s no “female/lady loki”, it’s all JUST loki. so to change up loki’s name, bleach her hair, and contradict whether or not she IS actually loki throughout the show is… questionable.

the line of “have you ever met a woman variant?” was just insane writing. all lokis can identify/present as women if they please!!! their shapeshifting abilities give them an advantage of presentation being easy for them, but all in all, every single loki can canonically identify as a woman. when that line was delivered, all the other loki variants looked confused as if they didn’t know. loki’s genderfluidity was never at the forefront of the writers’ minds, writers that were caught to be fucking weirdos on twitter! you can find what old tweets i’m talking about on twitter… but i digress. why would the loki variants not know such an integral part of their identity?

and the KISS. THE FUCKING KISS. we’re not angry that loki kissed a female-presenting character instead of mobius like many wished, no no no that’s not the big issue because bisexuals should never have to prove their bisexuality to anyone and they can kiss whoever the hell they want. we’re angry because loki kissed a female-presenting variant of HIMSELF. all throughout the first season, the writers went out of their way to try to differentiate sylvie from loki despite sylvie having been born as a loki variant, but there’s literally no way to separate sylvie from their lineage because at the end of the day, that’s who she was born as. no amount of bleach will change that fact. (i hope i made this easy to understand; not a lot of people get why this is an issue.) and regardless of whether or not that kiss was romantic, the fact that it even HAPPENED was a slap in the face to genderfluid fans of loki, and if the leaks for season two are right, that whole thing between the two will be continued since most of the season one writers worked on season two as well.

on top of this awful rep, known abuser jonathan majors will be in season two as another kang variant. i’ve heard that marvel had bigger plans for him, but due to these allegations, they’re limiting his presence as seen in the trailer, obviously meaning that they know.

hence why i ask fans to boycott/simply not tune in for season two if you care about queer people. if you’re desperate to watch, at least don’t use disney+. just because s2d is gone doesn’t mean other websites don’t exist. i also recommend reading ‘agent of asgard’. if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask me and please be respectful; your feelings about the show don’t dictate how hundreds of others feel, especially if their concerns are valid.

[tea-moon-ster]

Hey Brother

Finn and Alex answer to some sibling questions in an interview for the Lions' channel.

CW: mentions of injuries and food

All characters belong to @lumosinlove. inspired by the lovely @fruitcoops's social media fics (and happy birthday again, lovely!) read it on ao3 here.

“I’m so excited, I never get called for this kind of things,” Alex smiled.

He was sitting down at a table with Finn at his side, a plain background behind them and two glasses of water on the table he was leaning on with his arms. They were wearing their team’s jerseys, with two mics were pinned on the collars. “Finn, why do you never call me for these things?”

“Why don’t you do them with your team?”

“It’s not up to me!”

A voice came from off camera. “We’re recording, guys.”

Finn turned to flash a smile at the camera. “Wassup, Lions! Welcome to another Lions Channel video. I’m your one and only Finn O’Hara, and I’m here with my brother Alex, center for the New York Rangers.”

Alex waved his hand, winking at the camera. “Hi, Lions. Today we’ll be answering some siblings’ questions, read by the amazing Marlene.”

The voice behind the camera made a cooing noise. “Alex, I want you here for every video.”

Alex nodded, smiling even more. “I want to be in one with all the couples!”

“Throuples, Al, we’re both in throuples.”

“That,” he nodded. “Throuple tag. Poly night. Double throuples double trouble!”

“I’ll make that happen!” Marlene yelled back. She made a quick run into frame to double five Alex as Finn rolled his eyes, but he was smirking. “Since I’m already here, I’ll explain the game. I’m going to read some of the questions our viewers wrote under the comments of our last video -link below- and the O’Haras are going to answer for us. You ready, guys?”

Alex gave a thumb up, and Finn making finger-guns at the camera as Marlene walked away. “Unleash ‘em.”

“Great! Just one thing to do before we start. It’s jerseys swapping time!”

They both groaned, but they got up grinning to take off the respective jerseys, their protests only light teases.

“Do we have to? He stinks.”

“But this way I’ll catch the nerdy loser’s disease.”

“C’mon, we’re playing with the audience a bit,” Marlene smiled.

The two brothers handed each other the piece of clothing and put them on before taking their seats again. Alex was delighted with the blush on Kasey’s cheeks, from where he was standing behind the camera together with some members of the team, as he put on the red and golden jersey. He made a mental note for later and smiled at the camera.

“Do your parents have a favorite?”

“Oh, he’s definitely Mom’s,” Finn immediately said, crossing his arms with a light frown. Alex shrugged.

“You only say that because you’re Dad’s. The biggest couple of dorks that ever dorked on Earth.”

“Excuse you?”

Alex nodded gravely, patting his brother’s shoulder. “Yeah, you and dad are the dorks, mom and I are the cool ones. Just the facts, buddy.”

“That’s��that’s not true,” Finn said with not much conviction in his voice.

“We can call mom right now and ask her.” Finn’s ears went red from blushing.

“I don’t wanna bother her with such irrelevant assumptions, that’s all,” he mumbled, looking away, and Alex barked out a loud laugh.

“What do you love and what do you hate about being in the NHL together?”

Alex stretched his legs under the table, bringing an arm around Finn’s chair. “Well, we don’t see each other as much as I’d like to because of our schedules. But there’s an added challenge every time we play against each other.”

Finn licked his lips. “What I don’t like is that, until we’re not on the same team, one of us has to fail for the other to win, and that’s kind of bitter, like in some Greek myth.” Alex threw a pointed look at the camera, mouthing dork. “But I like when we’re on the ice together.”

“Yeah, it’s always funny to beat your bony ass,” Alex smirked, and the video was cut the moment Finn opened his mouth to argue.

“What do you think of your brother’s partners?”

“Bliz and Nat are cool,” Finn shrugged with a small smile. “Natalie will lend me her books and do face masks with me if I ask nicely. But Kasey knows that he can get away with pranks because Alex is on his side, and that’s not okay.”

Alex looked smug. “I so am. So, Leo and Logan…well, I’d say I know Logan better, but I really like them both. Leo is great. He brings all the maturity you two lack and if it wasn’t for him, you’d starve.”

“You know, he was so worried when I introduced you officially.”

“Finn!” Leo gasped off camera. “He wasn’t supposed to know that!”

“Do you think you’re a better player than your brother?”

“Yes,” they answered at the same time evenly, without batting an eye.

“What’s your brother’s pre-game meal?”

Finn started drumming on the table as they both leaned forward, identical grins on their faces. “Grilled cheese with strawberry jam!” they exclaimed together.

“It was my favorite when I was a kid, then I started making it for Finn before his games, and now god forbid we touch the ice without having it first,” Alex said.

Finn smiled. “We prepared it together before our last game in New York, a month ago. What a jump in the past.”

“When did you brother scare you the most?”

“Oof, definitely his two concussion adventures in college,” Alex sighed deeply, readjusting on his chair. “For the first one I checked my phone after practice and found, like, seven missed calls from our parents, and took a plane immediately. It was scary to see him laying still and silent like that.”

Finn was silent for a moment, biting his lip. “This is gonna sound so stupid after what you just said, but there was this time, when I was eleven-”

“Oh my God, Finn, get over it,” Alex rolled his eyes.

“Shut up, it’s my scary experience. So, I was eleven, my friends and I had gotten our hands on this horror movie with age restrictions and all. I can’t remember the title…it was about a ghost living in the walls of a house, and you’ll see why this bit is important. Anyway, we were so hyped up- that is, until I was in my room, at night, alone and in complete darkness. It’s already scary as it is, really. Then, I hear this loud stomp against the wall, and footsteps outside my room, back and forth. And this went on for, like, half an hour. I was about to pee myself. Then this dark figure comes into my room and mumbles something and just stands there, in front of me. I was so freaked out, here, feel my goosebumps.” Alex slapped his arm away. “I was crying by that point. When I mastered the tiniest hint of courage to turn on the lights, I saw this…this lanky teenager with his eyes closed, talking to himself and with a bleeding nose.”

Multiple people behind the camera started laughing.

“I was having trouble with sleepwalking in that period,” Alex explained with a sigh, “And that night I walked into a wall face-first, then into Finn’s bedroom and talked to myself for a bit. Then he started screaming so I woke up terrified and- yeah, not a good night.”

“Then dad came in and blamed me for having scared Alex, because you have to be gentle with sleepwalkers, and went all fussy over him,” Finn scoffed, shaking his head. “And I got grounded for the movie, too. I still think he was awake the whole time and that it was a prank.”

Alex rolled his eyes. “Yeah Finn, I broke my nose against a wall just to scare you when it takes so much less.”

“He told everyone in school he broke his nose on a fight on the ice.”

“Shut up.”

“Who was a better scholar?”

Alex arched his brows, pointing a finger at Finn, who opened his arms in a half-bow. “Between who, Mr. Harvard degree and winner of the DSA lottery? Tough choice.”

“Actually, it’s between whom,” Finn pointed out, voice small.

 Alex turned slowly and blinked. “Finn, do you actually want me to put the socks I wore at practice one week ago and that are still in my bag under your pillow? Because it sounds like it.”

At that, Finn’s smile disappeared, his expression as if caught on flashbacks. Alex returned to face the camera and shrugged. “It wasn’t the DSA deal per se, but the way teachers treated it. Studying was hard because there wasn’t much awareness on the subject. But I had lots of friends in school. It was a blast.”

Finn pulled a face. “We had lots of friends and were always more on the popular side. But honestly, between my ADHD and his DSA, our parents argued with our teachers a lot. I hope the situation is better now, but the majority believed that they were just excuses for not studying. College was better, but yuck.”

Alex nodded solemnly. “Yeah, yuck.”

“Your brother’s favorite superhero.”

They looked at each other in the eyes for a second before erupting in laughter, Finn snortling a little, and making Alex laugh harder as he leaned on the table. “Look up, Finn.”

“But no, Alex, look down.”

Another fist of laughter had them bent on the table, shoulder shaking. After a while they straightened, cheeks flushed, and Alex took a sip of water. Finn grinned devilishly as he watched his brother drink and started humming the Spiderman’s theme song. It made Alex choke on his water, and some got out of his nose. He was still giggling as he coughed and patted his own chest a few times, and Finn was about to fall from his chair for how hard was laughing.

“Guys?” Marlene called, mildly amused.

Alex nodded, slapping Finn’s arm, and making him straighten up. “No, yeah-we’re good, we’re good.”

Finn cleared his throat. “We’d need a whole other video to talk about this. Short version: as two nerdy kids growing up in New York, we were obsessed with pretty much every superhero. So many shenanigans. But our favorite was Spiderman-”

“-and Ninja turtles.”

“And Ninja turtles. Alex always made up stories on how he met them on the way home. Suspiciously every time I wasn’t there.”

The older brother grinned without a trace of regret. “I had him in the palm of my hand, really. So gullible.”

“Oh, Finn, buddy, I told the Ninja turtles how fast you are at cleaning my room and they didn’t believe me.” Finn glared at Alex, who nodded proudly. “No, yeah Fishy, I just had a pizza with Peter Parker. He likes me better.”

“I had him believe that the Turtles’ base was in the sewers under our house and that you could see Spiderman flying from the living room’s window. But only when he wasn’t looking.”

“That’s mean!” Marlene called, laughing.

Finn nodded, thankful for the support, but Alex dismissed her with a hand. “Nah, it builds character.”

“Do you think your brother would make a good parent?”

“I know he will,” Finn nodded, quick and confident. They were now calmer, but the blush on their cheeks was slow to disappear. “He’s caring and protective, but not in a strict way. I like to think I was a good training, because he always hung out with me when we were kids, and he took me everywhere. Sometimes you don’t want your little tagalong brother always following you, and I certainly was a presence as a kid. But he never minded it.”

Alex, who’d been looking at him intensely, quickly wiped his glossy eyes before clearing his throat. He leaned forward and looked at both sides, like a coach releasing vital information during an important press interview. “Finn will be the king of suburban dads,” he declared.

“Hell yeah, I will,” Finn beamed.

“A point of force and one of weakness of your brother on the ice.”

They both took a moment to reflect, looking up in the same identical manner. Alex lifted a finger.

“You’re crazy fast, and that’s my answer for both points. It’s a good thing because you can lead the puck from nest to nest in no time, but it also means that when you take a hit at a high speed it’s always a huge risk. Would you look at that, just like with your concussions.”

Finn rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, we got it, clumsy, silly Finn.” He licked his lips and thought some more before answering. “I’m gonna go with your hard shot for the positive thing and, huh…you should work on backwards passes? Maybe? Can that be my answer?”

He looked over the camera for confirmation and smiled. “Great.”

“Is there something you’d like to tell your brother?”

“I wish we talked more,” Alex said, more somber than from the rest of the interview, turning to face Finn. “We always do, but never of, like, feelings and such. And I wish I’d been there for you more in the past.”

Finn’s lips arched downwards in an involuntary touched pout, and he scooped his chair closer to Alex’s. “Well, ’snot your fault,” he replied gently. “You were always there. I didn’t talk, but I knew I would have been safe if I did. But yeah, same for me, I think. We kind of went through tough periods at the same time, but I was in college and not emotionally intelligent at all. So yeah, you were always there for me, but I can’t say the same.” 

Alex’s smile was soft as he pulled Finn’s chair attached to his. He threw an arm around his brother’s shoulders, and Finn leaned in unconsciously. “I don’t feel that way,” he said quietly, “But we can talk about it if you’d like.”

Finn nodded, blinking rapidly. “Yeah.”

“Something you wanna tell the NHL or the fans?”

“Never be afraid of who you are and who you love,” Finn smiled, adjusting the small bisexual pin next to the microphone on his jersey. Alex did the same with his pansexual one and nodded, taking a moment to find the right words.

“In the NHL we’re witnessing many changes in so little time, and it’s great. But before last year, we’d been on stall for ages, because when you feel like you’re the only one, every step is scary as hell. That’s why it’s important to reach out and realize you’re never alone.” There were a few seconds of reminiscing silence, both nodding and wetting their lips. Then Finn cupped his hands around the mouth, forming a cone.

“And let us play on the same team!”

Alex nodded emphatically. “Think of us as an investment.”

“We’d be invincible.”

“The siblings’ bond is so here.”

“Okay, I think they got the message,” Marlene laughed. “Well, this was the last question for you guys! Wanna sign us off?”

“This was Finn O’Hara.”

“And Alex O’Hara, for the Lions Channel. Hope I’ll see you soon!”

[cinnamonsikwate]

Talokanil Clothing, Part Two

thank you to everyone who engaged with this post!

seeing more bts footage plus reading interviews and doing my own research has had me reevaluating some of my earlier assumptions, so here's a part two!

i've been sitting on the idea that the talokan plant is like a coconut (aka the tree of life in the tropics) equivalent to the talokanil for a while, but i wasn't sure if there was enough canon or real historical equivalent evidence to support this.

this post suggests that early talokanil clothing was made of the talokan plant's fibers. initially i was unsure about this bc i thought it was some kind of succulent, but then i came across this post suggesting it's a type of agave & suddenly everything made sense!

this gets long, but hear me out: agave is endemic to the americas and its variants hold historical and cultural importance in central america (pre-hispanic up to present). it takes a long time to mature, the exact length varying from species to species (hence the moniker century plant), and flowers and seeds only once before dying (radding 2012, 84-115). parts of the agave are edible, but its two most prominent uses are for fibers and alcohol production. two agave cultigens, A. fourcroydes (henequen) and A. sisalana (sisal) are known fiber producers, and are both native to the yucatán (trejo-torres, gann, and christenhusz 2018, 366-379).

another variant, A. americana aka maguey (although it seems the term maguey is can be used to refer to other agave species), also produces fibers that can be used for woven and non-woven textiles and even paper (hulle, kadole, and katkar 2015, 64-75), and is a species of agave that can be used to produce the alcoholic drink mezcal. A. tequilana is the sole agave species used to produce tequila (which i believe can be technically called a type of mezcal). both mezcal & tequila are distilled from the fermented, roasted "hearts" of the agave. the method to distill mezcal (and later, tequila) was introduced during the colonial era, likely by indigenous filipinos who arrived via the manila-acapulco galleon trade (walton 1977, 113-132).

pulque is the pre-colonial equivalent of mezcal/tequila, made from the fermented agave sap (many species can be used). its consumption was highly regulated & associated with religious rituals (escalante et al. 2016). described as a white, slightly viscous liquid, pulque does somewhat call to mind the liquid the shaman made from the talokan plant, although the latter was, of course, blue. this is a side note, but a mural in cholula, puebla, mexico, depicts a gathering of people purportedly drinking pulque. the production team may have taken some inspiration from this as well for the flashback scenes.

the goddess mayahuel is associated with maguey & pulque, as well as femininity & fertility (guzmán 2016). (i'm a bit confused bc wiki says she's aztec, but escalante et al. & guzmán don't give a specific indication. her name though is nahuatl-derived.)

so anyway! we have a wonder plant with cultural and religious significance that can provide both food and clothing, and may even be used in construction (including in composites)! it makes so much sense that the talokan plant is a type of agave, albeit of course one with properties that no irl species has.

i've read several hannah beachler interviews but i haven't come across one where she talks about whether or not there was more of the talokan plant. the rest of this post hinges on the assumption that the talokanil are actively cultivating the plant, or something similar (which i'll be referring to as talokanil agave from now on), so if later canon lore proves me wrong — well, i'll cross that bridge when i get there lol.

for additional context, since i'm only here to speculate on the materials used in-universe, this twitter thread here provides a breakdown as to the accuracy of the clothing styles of the talokanil vis-à-vis pre-colonial maya.

now that's done, let's get to the actual speculation:

i'm inclined to retract my previous assertion that coconut coir was used in the warriors' uniforms; instead, what i took to be coconut coir is probably talokanil agave. (although they could probably still use coconut if they really wanted to!)

when i wrote the first post, i didn't realize how many outfit changes k'uk'ulkan goes through during the talokan scenes, but from what i can tell of the textures, they could all very well be made of talokanil agave or even just regular maguey. while cotton was more associated with elites over maguey in irl pre-colonial mesoamerica (tremain 2020, 1-11), i haven't seen anything yet that would indicate that nobility wouldn't wear maguey.

i'd thought namora's ceremonial dress would be heavy but we see it in action in mabel's ig post and it's actually very light! iris van herpen, the designer, has said in an ig post that the cape feathers are made of silver-lined silk organza. underwater, the effect is something like seagrass or kelp moving with the currents, which is very pretty. when i look up silk in mesoamerica, many of the sites are, strangely, associated with the church of the latter-day saints, but one textile-focused website at least indicates that widespread silk production began and flourished during the colonial era, so i think we can rule out actual silk as the in-universe material for the dress. maybe very high quality cotton or talokanil agave (especially for the silver lining. unless it's vibranium!).

we also see one of namora's surface outfits used underwater in a bts clip from mabel, one which i thought would be too heavy to wear in the water. i mean, i guess, technically, you can wear anything you want underwater, but comfort is a different matter. in my previous post, i'd said i'd thought this particular dress and the others she and the handmaidens wore were made out of some kind of barkcloth, but, surprise, again, it's probably talokanil agave or regular maguey (agave sisal is resistant to seawater).

the twitter thread i mentioned above has some insights into attuma's ceremonial outfit, including that he's wearing a jaguar pelt. the talokanil could very well have some kind of coming-of-age ceremony where they go to the surface for the first time to hunt. or attuma could just be an adrenaline junkie lol. hammerhead sharks, jaguars — it's all the same to him. as for the rest of the outfit, i'm gonna say different grades of talokanil agave bc why not!

at different points in the film, namora and shuri both wear body jewelry primarily made of jade. iris van herpen has said that shuri's also has pearls and Spondylus shell beads (the orangey-pink ones). namora's doesn't appear to contain Spondylus but perhaps other precious stones (maybe obsidian?). that might indicate some kind of difference in status, or some kind of oblique reference to namora being a warrior, since obsidian was often used for weapons (saunders 2001, 220-236).

shuri's second talokan outfit has feathers on the back, reminiscent of the tail plumes of the resplendent quetzal (yes, as in the bird associated with quetzalcoatl, the aztec equivalent of kukulcan. this man is never beating the egocentric allegations 💀). however, the color is wrong. resplendent quetzals have primarily green plumage & only the males sport the iconic tail feathers. moreover, resplendent quetzals live in the highland rainforests, not the coastal areas. so i'm not sure if this means that the feathers are from a different bird species altogether, or, like namora's headdress, they are not actually feathers but fish fins. i haven't found a high-res enough photo of the outfit so i still can't be sure.

the rest of the outfit appears to be a mix of fabrics, heavier on top and lighter on the bottom. i'm intrigued that the bottom half is pants, because we haven't seen any talokanil wear anything similar. could this be a leftover from the cut scenes where shuri & riri were supposed to work on something for k'uk'ulkan, & this is an outfit she came up with herself? they might have given her the fabric & told her to go to town, which could explain why the design looks very different from what we've seen of talokanil fashion. i think riri also gets a different outfit but i can't find good photos of it.

now her scenes were cut from the final version of the film, but one of the talokanil extras posted some intriguing bts footage. her character was supposed to a scientist (likely from the cut scenes with shuri & riri). she's not blue & isn't wearing face/gill masks, suggesting her parts take place underwater.

her outfit is pretty unconventional compared to namora's or the handmaidens'. she appears to be wearing more plant life (probably some sort of kelp & seagrass, among other species i don't recognize), but the main body of her outfit looks strangely artificial. i'm not sure if this is intentional or if her final appearance was meant to be tweaked with cgi (the mesh underneath is throwing me off). i would like to say her outfit is probably mostly made of talokanil vibranium, but i'm not sure if that would be realistic in-universe (would that mean she is of high status? another relative of k'uk'ulkan perhaps? or does jade still mean more to the talokanil than vibranium, therefore her use of it doesn't necessarily indicate status?). in any case, she's the only talokanil we're aware of who eschews traditional clothing styles.

additional bts footage from jewelianna ramos-ortiz (the scientist) also show other talokanil who are dressed differently from the regular warriors we see. they aren't blue either, but we do see that they have on red body paint (which we have not seen other talokanil use). google scholar is being reticent but as far as i can tell, body paint in pre-colonial mesoamerica, when not in a funerary context, was associated with ceremonies or festivals. the latter likely used organic compounds such as cochineal or achoite (that's achuete/atsuete for us filipinos), while the former employed the toxic cinnabar (source). with the talokanil, it could really go either way; we don't know if they're as immune to toxins as they are to stab wounds. i'm not sure about the seawater resistance of either type of pigment though.

interestingly, they appear to be wearing the leaves of surface plants (none of which i recognize, unfortunately, even after some googling of native yucatán flora). their different manner of dress may indicate the nature of their role in talokanil society, though as to what that role is remains to be seen.

one funny implication though of practically everyone in talokan wearing talokanil agave is that shuri could've just taken anyone's clothes to re-create the heart-shaped herb, including the ones she was given 💀 but the talokanil still could've cultivated the plant in the past centuries such that the variant they use for clothing differs quite a bit from the original so it wouldn't work as well. like maybe they have a "drink this to save your life. for emergencies only" cultigen & a "for everyday life" cultigen lol.

aaaaand that's it! if you're still reading this, thank you! this was a fun research exercise, although i probably still missed a lot. this was practically a whole damn research paper lmao. let me know your thoughts!

[quietwingsinthesky]

what if barry wheeler-centric fanfic. what then.

Someone had to pick up the pieces.

And that was what he did, right? The real job every agent knew they were signing up for was janitorial.

Alan was gone. It didn’t feel real to Barry, and maybe that was why he was the one in Alice’s kitchen making her dinner when she couldn’t even get out of bed. Alan was gone, but Barry walked by his office and expected to hear him groaning at his desk about a sentence he liked too much and knew he has to cut. Alan was gone, and he even took his last manuscript with him.

Real selfish, Al, Barry thought, don’t you know I’ve gotta eat, too? He knocked on the door that led to what was Alan and Alice’s bedroom. He waited. She didn’t say anything, but the light escaping under the crack of the bedroom door was on, always on. (Not like Barry didn’t keep every light in his home running as well. Alan was still paying for their electricity bills.) He left her plate by the door, like maybe the smell of it would coax her out.

Barry had never liked her. Alice had never liked him much back. They both loved Alan too much, and they had both walked away alive because he hadn’t.

He figured out a new course for himself: the Old Gods of Asgard, who partied like they were half their age and drank like death couldn’t touch them. Repping them was a dream come true. Even when they finally faltered, one last tour while Barry set up funds for a retirement home. He should have made sure the construction was going as planned in person.

He couldn’t. Bright Falls swallowed his best friend whole, and he was supposed to believe it wasn’t hungry for seconds? Not a chance. But that old crazy pair headed back into the maw of the town like they were used to holding it wide open with swords. (He’d been rereading Alan’s books too much. His metaphors took root in Barry’s head. He still has Alan’s voice on talkshows and radio interviews, but his books sounded more like him than anything. With a plummet in Barry’s stomach, he wondered if Alan really did belong on the page, in a story, all along.)

The movies took most of the narration word-for-word. Barry had to fight for that, had to call in more favors than he really had to spare.

What else was he supposed to do, sit on the rights to Alex Casey and let him rot away in those books? Let him die in there?

Alan would have loved hearing the words he wrote on the screen. He would have hated that Barry made them change the ending, even if only a little bit, just the suggestion that his title character didn’t bleed out in a back alley, that maybe the light he saw before his eyes shut for the final time wasn’t hellfire or heaven’s gates, but a friendly flashlight and a person looking to help.

They had cut-outs of Alan at the premiere next to ones of the stars. Barry had thought it was funny when he’d ordered them.

He hadn’t realized how long it had been since he’d seen Alan’s face like that, so clear and close. The years were passing, and Barry felt every single one. Suddenly, the plan to smuggle one into the back of his car and drive it home seemed a lot less funny with no one else there to laugh about it.

He couldn’t bring himself to go back to Bright Falls, but some nights, Night Springs was on the air. Some nights, Alan’s words came to find him rather than the other way around.

And Barry thought, maybe this time, as the signal on his janky TV fuzzed out and Alan’s old dialogue faded — maybe this time Barry would shut his eyes and when he opened them again, there would be a page on the floor, telling him what he was supposed to do next, telling him he wasn’t holding onto that last sliver of hope in vain.

Come on, Al. How hard was one page for a novelist?

[lucienmelaina]

Name: Lucien "Luc" Melaina Age: Forty-six Gender & Pronouns: Cis-male, he/him Sexuality: Gay Time in Redwood: Two years Resides in: Second floor of the library building Previous occupation: Author Community occupation: Librarian

musings // answered // mirror // wanted connections

An old soul, that’s what they called Lucien ever since he was a kid. And as if in a hurry to catch up with that old soul, the oldest Melaina son walked and talked and read earlier than all other kids his age, impressing parents and teachers and everyone who came to know the little guy who spent his days with his nose stuck in a book. They talked about how he would become a scientist, a politician, a lawyer, half-joking and half-hoping and doted on his every need.

But Luc didn’t share any of those aspirations. Luc only needed his books and his few good friends and his peace and quiet in order to be happy. He never excelled at school the way everyone expected, his mind wandering to far away worlds, or trying to keep his eyes open after having pulled an all-nighter to read just one more chapter. He didn’t get invited to many parties and he never found the appeal in sports, but even though he lived in a different bubble than the popular kids, no one dared to bully or make fun of him.

Even his college years were quiet, his degree in English Literature coming almost easily to him. He spent his hours in the library and next to the sea and in cute little coffee shops with his laptop and his books, reading and writing and daydreaming until he found himself scrolling through pages and pages of his own creation.

His first novel did well enough, especially for a debut. His second one, even better. His third one changed his world forever. Luc doesn’t know how and he doesn’t know why, but it apparently hit the right chord– there was success and money and awards and a movie deal. And there was a thrust into the spotlight that nobody could have prepared him for.

Because Hollywood was very different from the peace and quiet he had always tried to maintain. He tried to be grateful for the kind words and the selfies and the interviews, but he found himself returning home exhausted and empty and with zero energy or interest to turn or write a single page.

When the virus hit, Luc was on a promotion tour for the movie that was set to premier at the end of the year. Every day he put on a mask of excitement and answered the same questions and said the same catchphrases and ignored his true feelings. He did everything the publicists and managers told him– so when they said that this virus was nothing to worry about, he believed them.

They were in Washington, DC when the outbreak became impossible to ignore. The tour and the premiere and everything was ‘postponed until further notice’, flights were canceled, panic spread. Luc stayed in town for as long as he deemed safe, and when everything became too suffocating, he joined a group that fled to the countryside.

He felt terrified and exhausted and completely useless– he couldn’t run very fast, he couldn’t cook very well, and he definitely couldn’t fight. People came and people left and people died and somehow, probably through pure luck, he survived day after day. Months later, he found himself at Redwood, dehydrated and starving and with a broken and infected leg.

And the people of Redwood took care of him. They let him rest and gave him food and water and clean clothes and a place to stay. So he gave back what he could, even if it was just a few kind words, a good conversation and a renovated library– after all, he knew from a very young age that sometimes a few good friends and a few good books are enough to make you happy.

With the understandable shortage of new items coming into the library, he is very strict with return deadlines and demands all the books remain in the best possible condition.

His leg has good and bad days, sometimes he can barely get out of bed, others he can almost forget the pain is there. Still, he always carries his cane with him and leans into it whether by need or habit.

There’s always that one orange cat in the library- Luc calls him Gatsby, feeds him, lets him sit on his lap while he is reading, has him sleep on the foot of his bed, but is not willing to admit that the cat is his at this point.

Before the outbreak, he used to be a vegetarian, but since then he has had meat on various occasions for the sake of survival. When there are other options, he always goes for the vegetables.

He knows that it’s a weird thing to say, but he is happier during the apocalypse than he was before it, getting to enjoy the slow life of Redwood after so long in the spotlight. However, the thought of what is going on outside the walls never really leaves his head, as he knows that if the city falls, his chances of survival are next to none.

[scienter]

Skipped from TVD S3 straight to s6 & Holy shit! That was the Renaissance of TVD.I don't think I have enjoyed any season of Vampire Diaries like I did s6 after s2 and in my mind,they both get the top rank in the list of best to worst.Then,I thought why not give season s7 a chance.This was the first time I rewatched this season since it aired back when TVD was on and now I am most certainly questioning my life choices.🥲Honestly,how did we sit through such abysmal writing for 8 months or so?Were we sired?After the first episode,it felt like someone made me shut my eyes with the promise of feeding oysters only to point and scream "I just ejaculated in your mouth! HA! HA!" Anyway,there are a few things,specific to Caroline Forbes, that I picked up along the way:

1.Candice (& real life pregnancy)and Caroline Forbes-surrogacy: Keeping the non-consensual,gross aspect of the otherwise outlandish plot aside,I do believe with right motivation and willingness,writers could have easily worked around CA's pregnancy and given emotionally intimate scenes to SC that would have made their relationship layered and deeper.They simply chose NOT to. In fact, I noticed how they didn't use Candice at all not just in terms of her relation with Stefan but with regards to the whole Al**ick thing.Writers simply didn't create any compelling narrative that could convince anyone that Caroline was at all interested in pursuing anything with Ric that eventually led to an engagement. In fact, their sloppy attempt to sell motherhood and biology by giving two glimpses of Caroline's apparent growing attachment with the kids implied she saw the twins as an obligation in addition to her considering Ric as incapable of handling two newborns, leading her to Dallas, which basically served the bigger purpose:write CA out for her Maternity Leave. Post time jump,they could have easily removed her from this dynamic and put her with Liam or me and that wouldn't have changed nothing.Once again, they chose not to SHOW and simply explained the engagement as a decision of a heartbroken,abandoned woman by TELLING.I wonder what they would have done with her if TVD hadn't been renewed.Crossover to TO for ratings ploy?

2.Flash Forwards: I have nothing to say about this narrative disaster but I do think they changed their initial plans with respect to the FFs because CA did an interview where she said writers told her they were going three years in the future,right before she left for her ML,so that Caroline wouldn't have to be pregnant anymore AFTER candice came back from her leave.Does that mean they were originally going to go only a few months ahead in time but cancellation jitters made them change track?Guess,we will never know.

3.Future-Caroline character assessment : Plot contrivance aside, Caroline role-playing a doting mother and devoted wife-to-be & her happiness in the seemingly new life she built for herself is a metaphor for her being a victim of prolonged violence(physical and psychological).She was incapable of feeling anything anymore.She was in a wild state of depersonalisation and derealisation.She was an absolute victim.She just didn't care.She was putting up a class-act in that creepy arrangement but hey,as long as Caroline's "bold decision"(in JP's book) ensured M.Davis's employment,we are all good.

LMAO. Oh, yeah, I remember the whiplash of watching season 7 after season 6. Season 6 was one of the strongest seasons. Steroline was written well, we finally got Bamon, and Caroline had a touching story arc having to deal with her mother’s death. Season 7 on the other hand is in the running as the worst seasons.

I agree with your assessment of Ric and Caroline's relationship in season 7. It was awful. Having Caroline become the twins' surrogate is one thing – having her become their primary caregiver BECAUSE Caroline didn’t trust Ric to parent the twins himself . . . that wasn’t Caroline being a control freak – RIC ALLOWED CAROLINE TO TAKE OVER HIS DUTIES AS A PARENT BECAUSE HE DIDN’T WANT TO DO IT HIMSELF*.  There’s a name for this phenomenon: weaponized incompetence*

I don’t buy any defense of Ric’s actions here. Ric needed Caroline’s help! He was overwhelmed and didn’t know what he was doing! (1) Most first-time parents are overwhelmed because they lack experience. Parenting is on-the-job training. (2) Ric could have hired a professional nanny or an au pair to help take care of his kids. You know – paid someone to help take care of his kids. He didn’t. He was a selfish prick who took advantage of Caroline’s selfless and caring nature. He got a live-in nanny for free!

I hate that they turned Caroline – one of the strongest characters on the show – into Ric’s unpaid nanny. Ric and Caroline’s engagement was adding insult to injury.

I was so disappointed by the flash-forwards on TVD because I’d seen it done so well on The West Wing. Not that I was expecting TWW-level writing on TVD, but I did expect some level of competence.

*“Weaponized incompetence, also called strategic incompetence, is when someone knowingly or unknowingly demonstrates an inability to perform or master certain tasks, thereby leading others to take on more work.” [Psychology Today]

[grangerliam]

LIAM GRANGER HEADCANON'S (2/?)

HC: If you're friends with Liam, there's a chance you've seen, at least, one of these movies. If you're close friends with Liam, you've very likely saw majorly, or all, of these films plus some. These would be his top 9 movies, but they are not his only. There's a longer list, some of which involve sequels of the movies mentioned above. -- He also has a crush on Jane Levy because of Evil Dead and Don't Breathe. His first crush was on Jessica Biel as Erin in TCM. OOC Side note: I make my friends watch my favorite horror movies with me, so I know he do, too.

Evil Dead (2013) - A remake to the 1981 movie, and honestly, a damn good one. The main character is a heroin addict, and her friends, and brother take her out to a cabin to help her get clean. One of the friends end up reading from a book that unleashes an evil in the cabin. The main character tries to warn everyone because weird stuff happens and she knows somethings wrong. No one believes her because they just assume she's withdrawing. And it goes about as well as what anyone would expect from there. ---- A royal mention to Evil Dead Rise that came out last year. He also loved that one, and has watched it multiple times. He enjoys the originals simply for that fact alone, they're originals. But he prefers these two.

Don't Breathe (2016) - A movie where neither side is really in the right, and a lot could've been avoided have the main characters not tried to break into a house that wasn't theirs. Nonetheless, a solid movie about three thieves that go up against a blind man who isn't as impaired al they thought. Just cause he can't see, don't his other senses aren't A1. And it's a fight to the death after that.

The Forsaken (2001) - Most people when asked what their favorite vampire movie is, they'd say 'The Lost Boys' or maybe 'Interview with a Vampire'. Liam's is the Forsaken. A underrated movie in his opinion, that takes a interesting spin on the lore of vampires. A film student who is hired to take a car across the country runs into a hitch hitcher who turns his life upside when they both pick up a blonde who seems like she's on drugs outside a dinner. But she was actually bitten by a vampire, and then proceeds to bite the film student when he tries to calm her down. All three are then on a race against time to kill "The Forsaken" which is the head vampire that holds the virus in their blood.

Halloween (1978) - Do I really need to say anything? It's a classic, and it's beloved by just about everyone. Jamie Lee Curtis as Lorie Strode. Arguably #1 Final Girl. Baby sitter, stalker man in a mask who's just trying to stab people. It's a classic.

Nightmare On Elm Street (1984) - Once again, another classic. A very original idea for a killer. Can't go wrong with this sleep traveling demon thing with knives for fingers and a burnt face.

Scream (1996) - Classic, classic, classic. The movie that refreshed the horror genre at its time. A masked killer who calls you and taunts you before he chases you and kills you. A solid story line that follows all 6 movies, without missing a beat. Killer is always human, and always someone you know. Great characters. Sidney Fucking Prescott. He also appreciates the other 5 movies as well.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) - A remake of the 1974 film of it's same name. While Liam respects the OG, he finds that this one is a pretty solid remake, and enjoys it occasionally. Jessica Biel is everything in this movie as well, so you know. A group of friends are road tripping across Texas, picks up a hitch hiker, said hitch hiker unalives herself. The group of friends try to find the cops, but instead come into the family of cannibals that make their trip literal hell.

The Ruins (2008) - Four friends are on vacation in Mexico when they come across another man, who befriends them. This man is on the look for his brother as he went on a sight seeing adventure and never returned home. The five of them don't expect much, and the four friends agree to go with their new friend to a place called 'The Ruins'. When they get there, they are immediately trapped there by town people, who don't speak English. So it's a huge miscommunication trope, but they eventually find out that The Ruins are these poisonous cannibal like vines that once you touch them, you are infected. They try to figure out how to get the hell out of there, but everything's against them at that point.

Vacancy (2007) - If we were to ask Liam (or me), what was an underrated movie in our opinions, this one would be at the top of the list. First off, Luke Wilson is phenomenal in this, which you wouldn't think of him as a horror movie actor, but he's fantastic. A husband and wife are on their way home after a family visit. They take the back roads, but their car breaks down, and unable to get a mechanic in the middle of the night, they are forced to say at this hideaway motel until morning. Well, turns out said motel is a breeding ground for snuff films, and these two must work out their differences (they're going through a divorce and lost their child), in order to survive the night.

[fandomjoy]

So, the Quantum Leap podcasts have been doing a lot of interviews lately with the writers/producers/showrunners of QL22, and they have been SO enlightening.

The particularly good ones have been: Quantum Leap Podcast - Dean Georgaris; Fate's Wide Wheel - Dean Georgaris, Drew Lindo, Benjamin Raab & Deric A. Hughes. You can find all of the episodes on the QLP and FWW YouTube channels.

Most important takeaways from these interviews:

Everyone on the creative team is a fan of the original show. Everyone respects and honors what came before. Even those who came to the sequel with no real knowledge besides general awareness, like Benjamin Raab (who did catch himself up after getting the job). On the opposite end of the spectrum, you have people like Deric A. Hughes, the other half of the Raab/Hughes writing duo, who is a SUPER DUPER MAJOR fan of the OG from back when it was airing. So he's one of those fandom "elders" for QL, and listening to him go on about how much he loves the show and how important it's been to honor it in the sequel... Well, I mean, the show has shown time and again, every episode, that it acknowledges and respects what came before. But it was so fun to watch one of the writers just GUSH over the OG.

Now that QL22 is guaranteed a second season (they're already breaking stories for it; no break between the end of season 1 and beginning of season 2 for makers of the show), they've been given the greenlight from NBC to just go ALL OUT. Make brave choices. Go just as deep as the OG on social issues and then go further.

Pretty sure episode 112 is gonna be a MAJOR turning point for this show. From what I know based on casting calls, who is writing, and hints gleaned from these interviews... I am expecting some fantastic stuff!

Basically, y'all are missing out if you're not watching the Quantum Leap sequel; it just keeps getting better and better with every episode and this back half of the season has already given us two excellent episodes and the rest sound like they're gonna be AMAZEBALLS!

Episode 111 is a time-loop/Leap-loop episode. Episode 112 will tackle trans athletes in high school sports. Episode 113 is directed by Deborah Pratt herself!!!

Oh, and if you love Al Calavicci, you will love this show. Janis Calavicci is such an intriguing, multi-layered character, and based on things said in the aforementioned interviews, there are some very interesting things to come with that character. Also, Georgina Reilly is just absolutely PERFECT casting. She's a perfect mix of Al and Beth, both in looks and in personality.

OH, and I'm expecting us to finally hear more about other legacy characters, based on things said in the interviews, particularly in the Ben Raab & Deric Hughes interview. Let's just say that everyone working on this show knows that Janis is not the only offspring of Al or Sam; it's not being ignored - it just hasn't come up yet.

Honestly, please just do yourselves a favor and go watch all the aforementioned interviews. I've already been sold on this show since it was announced, and I legit didn't think I could get more excited about it than I already am, but these interviews just... they really hit home just how amazing and exciting it is to have new Quantum Leap to look forward to!!!

[melis-writes]

"I'll tell you something," he says. He puts down his coffee if he's about to tell me his greatest secret. "And this is a fact. When I was doing Scarface, I remember being in love at that time. One of the few times in my life. And I was so glad it was at that time. I would come home and she would tell me about her life that day and all her problems and I remember saying to her, look, you really got me through this picture because I would shed everything when I came home."

(Source: amp./theguardian./com/film/2004/dec/03/2)

Who do you think he was talking about here? Not gonna lie, I’m crossing my fingers that it’s Diane, because I truly believe he’s the love of her life, but others are saying it’s his other ex, Kathleen Quinlan. I’ve been a loyal fan of Diane and Al since time immemorial (fell even deeper when I read her book… I love Diane so much, she takes my breath away every time and I love everything about her. She is amazing. I want to keep both of them in my pockets) 👀

He’s lying lmao. 😭😭 And I’m not surprised!! Everywhere I’ve cross referenced, Al always says he’s “in love” with every woman he dates especially while he’s dating them and then stands by the claim he’s only been in actual love twice (I believe, I’ll double check sources when I can) in his life. Based on the timeframes given, this lines up to be Jill Clayburgh (1967 - 1972) and Marthe Keller (1977 - 1979) only, basically. Not Diane. 🥺💔

He and Kathleen broke up in 1981 and there was no mention of her during the Scarface days. On the other hand, I can’t find any sources proving Al was in a relationship until 1989 with Jan Tarrant.

Al and Diane have been on and off from 1972 to 1990, essentially. I guess when they were both single around those years they probably continued to be on and off before officially getting into a real relationship in 1985. Diane said they dated for 5 years and broke up in 1990 so that seems to make the most sense.

I absolutely love and adore Diane (died when she liked my comments on Instagram) but sadly it doesn’t line up with what Al said. He does lie a lot though from interview to interview, article to article… He mentioned somewhere that girlfriends he had in the early 70s used him for his stardom but we all know he didn’t become a “star” until The Godfather released and Jill was his only known girlfriend at that time. Their relationship is really well documented in “A Life on The Wire” which confuses me even more. There’s no way he can be talking about her which only makes me think he’s lying for some reason. 🤨

[airadam]

Episode 182 : The People's Music

"I never did a dance for a dollar..."

- Buckshot

This month we don't shift into high gear in terms of tempo at any point, topping out at around 90, so those of you experiencing actual summer don't overheat! We've got some absolutely fire new releases in the mix alongside some versions that you might never have heard, plus some deep album cuts. We start things off with just such a track - if you don't own the album, I'd be willing to bet you've never heard it...never let it be said this is a show that leans on the obvious records!

Still a few tickets left to see Phat Kat at The Hip Hop Chip Shop on August 4th, plus me playing a special Detroit warmup set!

Mastodon : @airadam@mastodon.me.uk

Twitch : @airadam13

Playlist/Notes

Above The Law ft. Kokane : Rain Be For Rain Bo

RIP KMG, who passed away twelve years ago this month. In a season where we maybe haven't had the sunshine we expected, this seemed like an appropriate choice - a downtempo but funky piece from the well-respected LP "Uncle Sam's Curse", Above The Law's third. Cold 187um not only produced the track but also provides the scene-setting first verse, while his cousin Kokane is on the hook, and KMG's second verse builds on the perfect setup. A lot of people were not ready to digest this LP fully when it came out, but if you have time to take a front-to-back listen, especially if you appreciate the West Coast sound, then do - you'll be rewarded.

Tavaras Jordan : Change, Pt. 2 (The Last Thing)

A beautifully smooth instrumental from this talented Hip-Hop and R&B producer out of North Carolina, taken from his short - but very sweet - 2019 "Manifest Destiny" album. Anything with this man's name on is worth a listen!

GZA : Animal Planet

The streets are a jungle, and nature is gangster. Another in GZA's series of themed tracks that started with "Labels" on "Liquid Swords", this grand-sounding Bink and Tyquan Walker-produced cut from "Legend Of The Liquid Sword" allows the Genius to demonstrate once again how he can build a concept track like few others. 

Jay-Z ft. Damian Marley : Bam

One of my good friends always plays this track before job interviews, because these people have to "know who they F'in with", to quote Jay-Z! This collaboration with Damian Marley from the "4:44" LP is one of my personal highlights of that release, and the producer No I.D. goes straight to a reggae classic to provide the raw material, the mighty "Bam Bam" by Sister Nancy. 

Black Moon : General Feva

The "Rise Of Da Moon" album, Black Moon's first after a sixteen-year layoff, seemed to go under-appreciated by many, but I for one was very pleased to see the Brooklyn legends release that LP in 2019. Da Beatminerz on production of course, for some slow, loping boom-bap that is a little dark for summer perhaps, but perfect for this slide towards some sandpaper-type roughness.

Cut Beetlez x Bronx Slang : I'm Not Chillin

If the last track was raw, this is the cow still wandering around in the field! Finland's Cut Beetlez production team linked up with the always-NY Bronx Slang for a brand new EP, from which this is the title cut. As soon as Jerry Beeks told me it was out I had it in my headphones and even after repeated listens, I knew this was the track to go with right here! The sonics snarl, thump, and grind, and yet you can hear every word from the MCs, who just seem to keep getting better with time and can give you the business regardless of the pace of the track.

[J-Zone] Al-Shid : Fight Club (Instrumental)

He may be a full-time and high-quality drummer now, but I'll always remember the originality J-Zone brought to Hip-Hop production for so many years. There's no-one who sounded quite like him, and this instrumental of a track from Al-Shid's debut single is a great example - some might say quirky, but in terms of quality, very serious.

Conductor Williams & Boldy James : Flying Trapeze Act

Too many people think that street rap and lyrical creativity can't go together, but this song from the "Across The Tracks" LP by Kansas City producer Conductor Williams and Detroit's Boldy James, thankfully still with us after a serious accident, have both in spades. The Conductor's track clearly treats its original sample in a pretty extreme fashion (you can hear the warbling which the processing likely introduced) but then adds the subtlest of kick-snare to quietly drive it along, and the vocals left in just add extra soulful flavour beneath Boldy's voice. As he moves between straight description, metaphor, and simile - especially the last punchy one in the hook that gives the track its title - Boldy James puts in excellent work.

El Michels Affair ft. Raekwon : The PJs (Instrumental/Vocal)

I needed to lead with the instrumental just to provide a nice bridge in, but it's always a pleasure to hear the brilliant El Michels Affair play! This is a re-recording of the track "The PJs" from Pete Rock's 2008 LP "NY's Finest" - no Masta Killa this time, but Raekwon returns to do his verses over with some small changes. El Michels Affair, in turn, base their instrumental performance around the way Pete Rock worked the original sample, but with some subtle flourishes. "The PJs...From Afar" is a 12" single well worth adding to your collection.

Da Beatminerz ft. Black Moon : Anti

Black Moon again, because why not? This time we go with their appearance on the new Da Beatminerz project "Stifled Creativity" (bearing in mind that Evil Dee of Da Beatminerz is also an actual member of the group) for one of the highlights of the LP. Over a slow, reflective, almost funereal take on the groove best known from Souls of Mischief's "93 'Til Infinity", Buckshot speaks on his journey as an independent artist and label owner (Duck Down) in a straightforward manner while maintaining that trademark flow. To maintain a thirty-plus year independent career through the changes in the industry is quite a feat - salute.

O.C. : This Is Me

This is a track I've always enjoyed, but which I think escaped a lot of people's notice. A selection from the overlooked "Smoke And Mirrors" LP, O.C.'s fifth, it's a track where he speaks on his career-long determination to follow his own path and ignore the trends - in fact, it's spiritually very close to the Beatminerz/Black Moon track that precedes it here. Mike Loe takes a late-70s soul sample, turns the speed up a touch and provides an excellent musical backdrop for the lyrics.

MF DOOM : Dead Bent (Original 12" Instrumental)

If you know the "Operation Doomsday" LP but not this, it would sound like an overstatement to say that the version of "Dead Bent" on the album is a "refined" version of anything, as rough-and-ready as the whole release is, but you can hear that this original is even more beautifully unpolished. Self-produced by the late great DOOM, you can find this not only on the original 12" mentioned in the title, but also on some later reissued versions of the album, containing alternate versions, B-sides, and instrumentals - essential for the DOOM fan.

Dubbul O & Cutterz : Stay Gold

Stellar new release out of Manchester, with this familiar duo (and half of Voodoo Black) headlining their new "Stay Gold" EP with this title track. If you've lost someone close, this one will hit you hard, with Dubbul O's deeply personal lyrics coming through strong over Cutterz' production which is somehow both optimistic and moody at the same time. Definitely check for that five-track EP.

Mecca:83, Phat Kat, and Guilty Simpson : Don't Stop

Exclusive! *Sounds airhorn* Manchester's own Mecca:83 blessed me with a copy of this as-yet unreleased track, with his warm and bumping production backing up two giants of the Detroit scene, Phat Kat and Guilty Simpson. Two cities famous for their industries come together for a great musical union!

Dilated People : The Main Event

I'll be honest - of the three tracks on the classic underground "Work The Angles" 12" single, this is the one I play the least, but the Alchemist-produced middle track on the release (also on 2000's "The Platform" LP) definitely deserves respect. Rakaa Iriscience steps all the way back here and makes space for Evidence to get busy on both verses. The samples of some of the Hip-Hop greats for the hook rounds off the whole package nicely.

Nas & Statik Selektah : Dead Presidence

(That's not my spelling, it's what they printed on the labels of "The Prophecy EP"!) Jay-Z and Ski famously sampled the "presidents that represent me" line from Nas' "The World Is Yours" for "Dead Presidents" on the classic "Reasonable Doubt", but on this track Statik Selektah reverses the game and blends the vocals from the Nas track with Ski's instrumental, and while the original is a flawless cut, these two pieces do fit together beautifully as well.

Marco Polo : Ps & Qs (Remix Instrumental)

MPC magic from Marco Polo, from his entry in the "Baker's Dozen" producer series, with clean drums, a live-sounding bass, and guitar licks placed to perfection.

Camp Lo ft. Jungle Brown : Hold On

I've always loved the way this track ends, and as such thought it needed to be played in a position where that portion can be heard uninterrupted. It's not just the closing track here but also the finisher on the 2009 "Stone And Rob : Caught On Tape" album. Jungle Brown is one of the few MCs to make repeated features with the Lo, and he does his thing alongside the legendary Sonny Cheeba and Geechi Suede while also co-producing it with Apple Juice Kid. If you're a fan of the group, definitely seek out this release as there are some absolute heaters on there, including the back-to-back of "On Smash" and "89 of Crime".

Please remember to support the artists you like! The purpose of putting the podcast out and providing the full tracklist is to try and give some light, so do use the songs on each episode as a starting point to search out more material. If you have Spotify in your country it's a great way to explore, but otherwise there's always Youtube and the like. Seeing your favourite artists live is the best way to put money in their pockets, and buy the vinyl/CDs/downloads of the stuff you like the most!

Check out this episode!

[dominickeating-source]

60 Second Interview (2002) by James Ellis

DOMINIC KEATING FIRST came to fame in this country as Tony on Channel 4's first black sitcom, Desmond's, before flying to LA to seek stardom in Hollywood. Eight years and several dodgy series later, he landed the role of the token Brit, Lieutenant Malcolm Reed, on the new Star Trek spin-off, Enterprise.

What was it like arriving in LA? I rented out my flat and I had this old beach buggy that I bought at the height of my 15 minutes of fame in Desmond's. It never rains in California, so I sent it by boat along the Panama Canal and of course it rained incessantly for six weeks when I got there. I set off two days after the earthquake of September 1994 and I was at my mum's house here looking at the devastation on her little telly in the kitchen going, 'Oh, my God!' But I still went over.

What's the most embarrassing show you've had to do? I gate crashed my first LA audition - it was a Showtime equivalent of the Red Shoe Diaries [erotic drama] called Love Street and, what do you know, I got the lead. I played an ex-pop star who's had one massive hit before drying up. His girlfriend died of a drug overdose in the middle of his fame and then, through the love of a very cute girl with fake bosoms, he manages to write another huge hit.

Pure Shakespeare... It read really well. Great pop star, fabulous house, he's really cool, makes love by a fireplace, his manager doesn't like what he's doing, he makes love by a swimming pool. You think it's very Al Pacino but, unfortunately, with a soft lens and commercials every ten minutes, it doesn't quite come together like that.

As a Brit, do you get typecast? There are certain roles they think of you for as an Englishman and there are certain roles you can only aspire to. You know: devilishness - love the voice; pop star - love the voice; hairdresser - love the voice.

Bond villain? Bond villain - love the voice. But doctor on a medical show? Never gonna happen. Well, whats-her-name [Alex Kingston] did get ER . There's no real rhyme or reason to it. Maybe it's opening up. Look at anything by Aaron Spelling - no accents whatsoever. They just didn't trust the demographic. They didn't want anyone in Wiscokey-nowhere going, 'What the hell did he say?'

What do you miss about the UK? It's the old things - Marmite, the sense of humour. Actually, in my local store in Beachwood Canyon, there's an English corner now, and you can get everything, even PG Tips.

How is dealing with Klingons? I got beat up by one the other day. This Klingon supermodel smacked the s**t out of me!

Sounds like one of those Red Shoe Diaries... Yeah, it does, doesn't it? Apparently Klingon women do have the strength of five men, so I shouldn't be too embarrassed. And she jumped me, so I was taken by surprise.

What's the strangest question you've been asked? I liked the one you just asked, about the most embarrassing thing, and I didn't even tell you about the drag act. We were called Feeling Mutual! Am I a fool for telling you about that one? Oh, who cares. I made my professional debut doing a drag act. I got my Equity card doing it. We first performed at the Vauxhall Tower, in 1985 or 1986. We were a double act, me and a boy called JonJon who I met in my dance class at the time.

What will you do after the series has finished? I'm ready for the fact that this may be the last gig I ever do, but it might be the beginning of something huge. I'm a good character actor, and I hope this is going to be the launch pad. And, in the meantime, I'm taking myself off to directorial school. I'm learning how to direct because there is this other pathway you can take during Star Trek, Star Trek University they call it.

That happens a lot in the States, no? Well, Jason Priestley was allowed to do Beverly Hills 90210 to keep him happy and Shannen Doherty was doing Charmed for a while.

But you've got nothing to do with Aaron Spelling... Erm, well, sort of covertly, the guy who directed our pilot is Aaron Spelling's right-hand man, Jim Conway. I played golf with him the other day.

Is it good to be back in the UK? Tell me about it, mate. Actually I'm really excited, coming home. This is what I always dreamed of. You know, going to America, in some way making it and coming back here going, 'Look ma, I'm top of the world!

Source: www.dominickeating.com