#the only classes that are probably immune to it are druids and clerics

[soath]

Obviously, DnD characters are wish fulfillment and lots of people don’t want to address the slow senescence of the vulnerable human form in their fun games. That being said, narratively, I do think that levels should probably fluctuate over the course of a lifetime. The level twenty world-saver is going not going to stay level twenty into their old age—that’s not how athletes and retirement work! Wisdom and Charisma casters maybe, but your STR/CON/DEX builds are going to soften with age. They might still be the spryest bastards in the old people tai chi group, but “terrifyingly in shape 70 year old” is not the same as “deadliest man on the planet”. Drop those old folks a few levels, give them some creaky bones and presbyopia. It’s good for them, promise.

[nickmarini]

Ayden’s Build 

TL;DR: Barbarian 1, Druid  2 (Circle of the Stars), Paladin 8 (Oath of the Ancients), and Cleric 9 (Peace Domain). Feats: Squire of Solamnia, Remarkable Recovery, Warcaster, Knight of Crowns, Spelldriver, Tough.

Building Ayden was a joy and a journey. To begin we were told we had 20 levels to work with and stats of 20 across the board. The only thing I knew about Ayden from the session 0 was that he was going to be a Cleric of the Everlight and that I wanted to make him the best support character I could. I also knew that the Dawnfather was aware of the mission briefing and so would have directed his growth to the task at hand. 

Stats of 20 meant multiclassing into any class was possible and that any ability score based bonuses or proficiency based abilities were going to be very good. I figured that with a warlock and a sorcerer we’d have some pretty good counterspelling and 9th level spell access, so I didn’t worry myself about either of those, instead focusing on making sure we all survived. 

The Dawnfather and The Everlight share 2 of 3 Domains. Life and Light. The Everlight’s 3rd domain is Peace. The Peace Domain cleric is an excellent subclass and its 6th level ability, Protective Bond, was something I knew I wanted to build around. The ability to take hits for, and aid, my siblings while teleporting around the battlefield is an excellent support ability and it also lets allies in the bond do the same, fostering sibling unity and cohesion.

With the Dawnfather having Nature as his unique domain separate from the Everlight, and literally sending himself to Exandria to infiltrate a city full of the greatest mages of the age, the Oath of Ancients Paladin seemed like an obvious path. It is the nature Paladin, (his domain) and 7 levels gives you both Aura of Protection and Aura of Warding. This means as Ayden moves through the battlefield with Protective Bond he will be granting allies +5 to saves from his cha as well as resistance to damage from spells. Incredibly good going up against the wizards of Aeor he knew he would encounter. I didn’t want to go to 10 with Paladin because I didn’t want to be immune to frightened. I just felt that fear played too large a role in the reasons the gods were here and although aura of courage is probably my favorite ability going back to 3rd edition, I felt like it wasn’t right for Ayden. He had to fear in order to reinforce his need to hope. 

These two classes were set relatively quickly and then I began looking at how else I was going to build him out. 

I really liked the idea of being able to grant my allies some extra attacks and so I was looking at battle master to get commanders strike and goading attack as well as maneuvering attack to help take hits for and position my allies. Action Surge is also a great ability that could really come in handy if I needed to save someone and needed one extra action to do so. 

I was also looking at the 2nd level Divination Wizard ability Portent. The ability to fully dictate 2 rolls is very powerful in certain circumstances, especially if the numbers are very high or very low.

Both these seemed good but weren’t feeling totally right from a character perspective. They felt too forced.

As I was playing around with these two classes I was also building Aydens backstory. I really liked the idea of him being agriculturally focused, as this aspect of the Dawnfather is actually his youngest. Sun begets days, and thus time and seasons, and as civilization evolves agriculture follows. The fighter levels lent the idea that he has spent some time training under a knight or some such warrior, and I knew that he would eventually find his way to Trist to begin his tutelage and become her cleric. I liked there being these different eras of his life. 

It was around this time that I got an awesome email asking me to describe Ayden visually so that the incredibly talented Hannah Friederichs and Cael Lyons could begin to bring Ayden and the Dawnfather to life. I wanted Ayden to be a simply dressed with a shield he took from his mentor, but no sword for striking. They sent 4 sketches and told me I could mix and match as I desired. Image #1 however was exactly as I had envisioned him. It was the simplest and had this depth to his eyes that told the story of a much older soul in this 15 year old body. It was so perfect that it made me realize I had been going in the totally wrong direction with fighter and wizard. The concepts of nature and agriculture were suddenly staring me in the face. It was not wizard, but druid, and his mentor could have taught him to be a paladin as easily as fighter, but if he is the bringer of agriculture who has he brought it to? A remote tribe still hunting and gathering was the answer. Barbarian therefore replaced fighter. I can’t tell you how influential the sketch I received was. It felt like a bolt of lightning suddenly clarified everything. 

I was for sure cleric 6, Paladin 7 and now looking at druid and barbarian. 

I didn’t know Druid subclasses very well but Circle of the Stars jumped out from the pack just with its name. The Sun after all is a star. When I read its 2nd level abilities Starmap and Starry form it was so obvious. I can cast Guiding Bolt to set up those attacks I wanted to grant, and I can glow instead of wild shape and either heal more or have a massive bonus to maintain the concentration spells I knew I wanted to cast. For the keeper of time to know how to read the stars just felt right. It also feel right that the druids of a tribe that had been hunting and gathering during the tumultuous Calamity would have learned to navigate by the stars, a singular constant in an every changing age. 

Barbarian has a number of interesting subclasses but none felt like they clicked. 1 level of Barbarian though, for a character with 20 dexterity and 20 constitution, catapults your AC to 20 and it also gives you a proficiency in Constitution saving throws if you take it as your first class, again reinforcing those concentration rolls. He was found as a child by this barbarian tribe and his first class is also his first community. Barbarian was the strong foundation I would build upon. 

I was now Cleric 6, Paladin 7, Druid 2, Barbarian 1. Reorganized to be the order Ayden would have taken them in it becomes the following:

Barbarian 1, Druid  2 (Circle of the Stars), Paladin 7 (Oath of the Ancients), and Cleric 6 (Peace Domain)

4 more levels to distribute. As a player who has mostly played 3.5 (I think downfall just about doubled the amount of 5E I have played) feats are my absolute favorite things, so getting to multiples of 4 in class levels to grab some was something I wanted to do (also I didn’t have to worry about ability score increases)! I had already given one feat up by taking barb and druid but I made up for it with the human variant. I also took the Knight of Solamnia background to give me Squire of Solamnia, the prerequisite for Knight of the Crowns which would give me the ability to grant attacks to my allies without needing battle maneuvers. 

So I upped paladin from 7-8 for a feat and then decided to take Cleric from 6-9 because it gave me a feat and access to the spell Dawn. I mean the Dawnfather should be able to cast Dawn after all! 

Now to feats

1) Background: Squire of Solamnia to give me the prerequisite for Knight of the Crowns

2) Human Variant: Remarkable Recovery. I knew I’d be taking extra damage so having 5 extra hp from any healing I get might just be the difference. It also plays into his background. He had to leave the Barbarian tribe he brought agriculture to because his skin could not retain the ceremonial tattoo ink that would have symbolized his initiation into the community. 

3) Cleric 4 Warcaster to get advantage on those concentration checks, that along with proficiency and starry form of the dragon means I need to take 28 damage (56 if it’s a spell) to even have to roll, and when I do I get advantage and proficiency on the check. Getting me to lose concentration is gonna be a task. 

4) Paladin 4 Knight of the Crown getting to grant an attack proficiency times per day combos wonderfully with Starmaps free guiding bolt, conveniently also proficiency times per day. 

5) Cleric 8 Spelldriver I’m gonna be casting a bunch of spells so the ability to cast multiple each turn is going to make my support spells come out much faster. I have a big fam to take care of!

6) Paladin 8 Tough I really went back and forth between this and Inspiring Leader. Granting all my siblings 25 temp hp is amazing but ultimately I decided that as I’d be tanking a bunch of damage I’d need toughness. Toughness gave me 15 more hp than Inspiring leader would have, and I ended up going down to 14 at one point so it was a decision that very much paid off by a single HP! Don’t wanna pop a deathward if you can help it!

Last but not least we were granted 2 magic items. One very rare and one uncommon. For my uncommon I chose a cloak of resistance, a parting gift from the tribe that Ayden could not join. This upped my saves to 11s or 17s and took my AC to 23. For his very rare magic item I took a spellguard shield, inherited from the knight who brought him from the remote tribe to Trist‘s school, giving me advantage on saving throws vs spells and magical effects and inflicting disadvantages on spell effects targeting me. Combine that with resistance to spells from Aura of Warding and that’s a nasty nasty combo v wizards. 

All in all Ayden’s build is an incredibly hard to target tanky support character who can move through the battlefield protecting his allies and being an absolute nightmare for enemy spellcasters. The only thing I really didn’t fully consider was just how much damage he would take from Warding Bond which totally bypasses all those wonderfully crafted defenses. As crazy as it is, I think we barely got to scratch the surface of Aydens full potential and it’s probably good those mages decided to cast spells at everyone else because Ayden was going to be a tough character for a spell caster to crack. The Commanding Rally did get to shine allowing characters who specialized in weapon attacks to get a little extra out of those 20 level commitments. Ayden’s build was crafted to keep his siblings alive and let them shine as bright as possible together. I’m very proud of him!

If you read all this then you’re as nerdy as me and deserve a reward!

[3gremlins]

i got to that bit after the cazador fight* in my paladin pt and i initially did with the spawn what i did with my druid (let them into the underdark for potential vampire rehab) and this broke my oath which i thought was a bit bs. so i reloaded and did the mercy kill which felt bad so i searched the internet and found the funniest reddit thread of a WHOLE bunch of other paladin players who also thought it was a bit bs/wish the paladin stuff in this game was more nuanced lol**.

i do kind of see the reasoning behind the oath of the ancients being against vampire rehab b/c it's all about life and undead are i guess anti-life (plus many of the vampire spawn would probably not take to rehab well and the underdark doesn't deserve that). It was interesting that apparently if you're oath of vengeance, the right thing to do *is* vampire rehab and you only lose your oath if you either kill them/don't take responsibility for them.

might have to do an oath of vengeance pt at some point (that seems a little less binary than oath of the ancients). apparently they've also patched the oathbreaker knight so it will appear later and not just only in act 1 (which was leading to broken half paladins apparently??).

i also realized this time through that we could steal most of cazador's paintings for sale later tho, like i accidentally grabbed one off a wall trying to interact with stuff and was like WAIT A MINUTE lol

*this fight was also ridiculously easy (tho tbf it was also pretty easy on my druid too, but def faster on paladin/with everyone doing radiant stuff), casting daylight while everyone is in stealth and having a druid or cleric cast the feast buff before you go into this fight is clutch (makes you immune to all their debuffs like nausea, poison etc), also having the arcane interference arrows (which do silence and also radiant). Tbc, i like it when fights are easier b/c we're overpowered, it's just a bit more fun (esp with turnbased where combat can take hours lol). they also keep patching/changing stuff in the game so i can't tell if it's class/pt related or if it is just easier now so there's that too

**i think it's more an issue with the source material than anything else tbf, dnd is very binary/black and white and not terribly nuanced (like it's gotten better but it's still problematic on that count) and other ttrpgs do a better job with more shades of grey type worldbuilding/classes

[cagemasterfantasy]

Kalashtar Rankings and Features (5e)

Guide

1=do not play this class as this race

2=can play but not recommended

3=decent choice

4=perfect

The kalashtar are a compound race created from the union of humanity and renegade spirits from the plane of dreams – spirits called quori. Kalashtar are often seen as wise, spiritual people with great compassion for others. But there is an unmistakable alien quality to the kalashtar, as they are haunted by the conflicts of their otherworldly spirits.

Ability Score Increase. Your Wisdom score increases by 2, and your Charisma score increases by 1.

Age. Kalashtar develop physically at the same rate as humans do and have similar lifespans.

Alignment. The noble spirit tied to a kalashtar drives it toward lawful and good behavior. Most kalashtar combine strong self-discipline with compassion for all sentient beings, but some kalashtar resist the virtuous influence of their spirit.

Size. Kalashtar are similar in build to humans, though they are typically a few inches taller. Your size is Medium.

Speed. Your base walking speed is 30 feet.

Dual Mind. You have advantage on all Wisdom saving throws.

Mental Discipline. You have resistance to psychic damage.

Mind Link. You can speak telepathically to any creature you can see, provided the creature is within a number of feet of you equal to 10 times your level. You don't need to share a language with the creature for it to understand your telepathic utterances, but the creature must be able to understand at least one language.

When you're using this trait to speak telepathically to a creature, you can use your action to give that creature the ability to speak telepathically with you for 1 hour or until you end this effect as an action. To use this ability, the creature must be able to see you and must be within this trait's range. You can give this ability to only one creature at a time; giving it to a creature takes it away from another creature who has it.

Severed from Dreams. Kalashtar sleep, but they don’t connect to the plane of dreams as other creatures do. Instead, their minds draw from the memories of their otherworldly spirit while they sleep. As such, you are immune to magical spells and effects that require you to dream, like the Dream spell, but not to spells and effects that put you to sleep, like the Sleep spell.

Languages. You can read and write Common, Quori, and one other language of your choice.

Artificer 1 no Intelligence increase

Barbarian 1 resistance to Psychic damage seems really exciting for Path of the Berserker because you can have resistance to all damage. Unfortunately that’s not enough to make you a good Barbarian

Bard 4 while Kalashtar’s Charisma increase isn’t as good as their Wisdom increase +1 is still plenty for any full spellcaster. Kalashtar’s telepathy offers a unique tool especially for a Bard that does a lot of sneaking infiltration or other subterfuge

Cleric 4 Kalashtar’s Wisdom increase and their defensive traits work great for the Cleric. Between high Wisdom proficiency and Advantage on Wisdom saving throws you’re all but guaranteed to pass Wisdom saves

Druid 4 Kalashtar makes a great Druid for the same reasons that they make a great Cleric. Additionally, since their racial traits are all mental rather than physical they persist while using Wild Shape. For example: you can use Mind Link while using Wild Shape allowing you to communicate effectively without reverting to your normal form

Fighter 1 no increases to physical ability scores

Monk 2 Wisdom increase helps but it’s not enough to make you a good Monk and none of Kalashtar’s other traits meaningfully support Monk. This is probably Kalashtar’s best non-spellcaster class option but it’s still a very hard choice which is unfortunate because thematicall a Kalashtar Monk would be very interesting

Paladin 1 the Charisma bonus is not enough on its own. Paladin is likely Kalashtar’s best martial class option but it’s still a bad option

Ranger 1 without a Strength or Dexterity increase Ranger is a really difficult option. Wisdom adds to your spellcasting but without an ability increase to support your damage output and Stealth you’ll fall behind on some of the class’s biggest functions

Rogue 2 without a Dexterity increase Rogue is a difficult option. Still Telepathy and a Wisdom increase are an interesting option for Rogue subclasses like Inquisitive which emphasize Dexterity-based options less

Sorcerer 3 while Kalasthar’s Charisma increase isn’t as good as their Wisdom increase +1 is still plenty for any full spellcaster. Sorcerers don’t tend to be stealthy but you can rely on magical invisibility and telepathy to remain undetected in combat and still support your allies. If you use Subtle Spells and spells which don’t make attacks or require saves you can remain invisible for long periods and still be effective by supporting your allies or acting indirectly

Warlock 3 Telepathy is a neat option but Warlocks aren’t skill-heavy like the bar so stealth is less of an option and with limited spell slots you can’t make invisibility a go-to tactic like Bard or Sorcerer could. Warlock is still a good option but it lacks the synergies between racial traits and class features which make Bard a great option

Wizard 1 same as Artificer

[homebrewsno1asked4]

Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure – Spells! (well, Spell)

AAAAaannnnnndddDDDDD first IP is: Tangled! Plus Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure! Which was obvious from the title! So this is redundant!

Come at me. My wife and I love all things Tangled and I am not ashamed. Plus, I feel like Tangled Adventure REEKS of D&D fuckery.

~

Why am I starting with spells? Because they’re probably the easiest things for me to poop out, and I like to work from easiest to hardest thing.

You might notice the incantations are conspicuously absent. I miiiiiiiiiiigght be planning something else with them! (I am. And it rhymes with “ass creatures.”)

““Mutate Animal” doesn’t sound very Rapunzely!” you say. I hear you, and I wag my finger dramatically in your direction. Then I realize I’m being condescending and apologize profusely, prostrating myself on the ground in front of you.

It’s not a spell in-universe, but on a few occasions, Varian transforms his pet raccoon Ruddiger into a hulking monster through an alchemical process we don’t get to see on screen. I’m guessing it’s a potion, but I’m making a spell inspired by this concept because 1) I want to, 2) it sounds cool and there’s no other pet-boosting spell or feature out there (except for some Beast Master crap, which I used as a base), 3) Varian would be an Artificer, and Artificers still use spells flavored as science.

~

Mutate Animal

2nd-level transmutation

Casting Time: 1 action

Range: Touch

Components: S, M (a handful of feed appropriate to the target creature’s diet)

Duration: 1 minute

This spell only works on beasts no larger than Medium, with a CR no higher than ¼.

The chosen creature’s size increases to Large. Add the spell’s level to the creature’s AC and the following rolls: attack, damage, saving throws, and proficient skills. This mutated beast takes its turn on your initiative.

Mutate animal exaggerates the target creature’s existing temperament. If the beast was friendly toward you, it will protect you and follow your commands. The beast will attack any creature toward which it felt hostility or fear before mutating. If the beast was neutral towards you, it will act on instinct, but tend toward violence due to its newfound size and strength.

If you are rendered unconscious, the spell ends early.

At Higher Levels. When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 4th level or higher, the mutated beast's attacks now count as magical for the purpose of overcoming resistance and immunity to nonmagical attacks and damage.

When you cast this spell using a spell slot using a spell slot of 6th level or higher, you can make the target creature Huge instead of Large. This Huge mutated beast makes Strength checks and saving throws with advantage. Also, the mutated beast can make 2 attacks.

Classes: Artificer, Druid, Ranger

Subclasses: Nature Cleric, Ancients Paladin, Giant Soul Sorcerer, Archfey Warlock

[wearesorcerer]

[5e] 9th-Level Spells

You may be wondering why I’m starting my review of 5e spells with the highest level spells available. That’s simple: you only get one.

The 5e Sorcerer table isn’t quite like the 3.x one, but it is like the 3.5 Warlock and Psion: at any given level, you can known X spells and have Y spell level as your maximum. The table is elegant, but you have to know to level your character from first level rather than reading the table straight across if you’re making a higher level character. (I’ve made this mistake many a time. It’s why I dislike this sort of table: it looks nice but isn’t actually helpful.)

If you’re trying to have as many spells of the highest available spell level as possible, you would have from 0th to 9th 6/3/2/2/2/2/1/1/1/1. I find it easier to work backwards in this case, as you can say “I want to reserve X spells known for higher-level spells” and then figure out how many low-level ones you can have instead of getting to a higher level and running into a corner.

The question with 9th-level spells is not “what’s good?” because they’re all good. Rather, it’s “what’s worth taking as my single most powerful class feature?” That should narrow things down a lot.

Primary List

gate · mass polymorph · meteor swarm · power word kill · psychic scream · time stop · wish

I’ve written about wish and time stop ZA WARUDO! (time crunchy noises), but not in the context of 5e. Wish has changed substantially; time stop hasn’t. You have a few options, but the majority of them are boom-boom.

Gate: you can hold open an interplanar portal for as long as you concentrate (up to a minute) at the cost of a 5,000 gp diamond; if you know the name of a specific creature, you can use the spell to summon that creature. For some odd reason, gate is both the most Warlock spell in the game besides planar binding, yet is only a Warlock spell through a UA variant. For a Sorcerer, this could be useful, but you’re making your best spell cost you money every time you cast it. Strategically speaking, this spell is situational enough (read: a Wizard spell) that if you wanted it in the first place you should take it with the Ritual Caster feat, but for some reason this most obviously ritualistic spell isn’t a ritual. There are better uses for your spell known, but this is by no means a bad spell. Save for a scroll or something.

Mass Polymorph: you polymorph (Wis negates) up to ten creatures you can see within 120 ft. for as long as you concentrate (up to one hour), just like with polymorph. It incorporates animal shapes into it. If you want animal shapes, you should find a way of getting it instead: you don’t need a 9th-level spell slot for it (so can cast it more often -- 8th + 9th level spell slots), it lasts for 24 hours, and you can affect more creatures (30 ft. area = radius = 96 squares - the one you’re in = 95 Medium creatures [more if they’re smaller and squeezing together]). I don’t care for the concentration aspect of the 5e polymorph spells. I mean, I get the rationale, I just find it odd for this particular spell -- and I’d rather not give my opponent a tactical reason to target me. Pass.

Meteor Swarm: four fireballs fall from the sky and each deal 20d6 fire + 20d6 bludgeoning (Dex half; average 140 damage), setting everything they touch ablaze. Beautiful. I love meteor-style spells, so this is high on my list even though it’s a boom-boom spell and I’m not particularly boom-boom oriented. The best part of this is that it has a range of one mile, so you can destroy enemy armies without risking getting killed! Yay! Yes.

Power Word Kill: one creature within 60 ft. of 100 HP or less drops dead (no save). 100 HP is more than the average of many high-level characters, so unless the DM gave a boss max HP you can use this to kill even major opponents reliably. An optimizer will tell you that a spell without a save is something you should always take -- and would be correct insofar as it makes you more difficult to stop. I, however, dislike that mechanic: there’s almost no reason a spell shouldn’t have a save. This one should have the choice of Wis (resisting the mental influence) and Con (staying alive despite the heart attack/stroke/whatever). A very good spell, but I’d call it OP.

Psychic Scream: 10 creatures of Int 3+ within 90 ft. take 14d6 psychic damage and are stunned (Int half [damage]/negates [stunning]); their heads explode if they die. The beauty of this one is that it goes off of Int rather than Wis (meaning Wizards are the only targets you really need to worry about) and it automatically avoids friendly fire. Yes.

Time Stop ZA WARUDO!: you get 1d4 + 1 rounds to act, but the spell ends if anything you do (including effects you create) affect other creatures or objects someone else is wearing or carrying or you move more than 1,000 ft. from where you cast the spell. The main purpose of this spell is to buff yourself a lot, run the fuck away, or stack delayed blast fireballs to deal a buttload of damage. That’s all very nice, but it’s a continuation of the 3.0 nerf to the spell: in 2nd ed, you could pull a DIO and attack people or an Over the Hedge and steal things. Now for my main quibble. 3.5′s Player’s Handbook II had the celerity line of spells, which you could cast as an immediate action (choice of reaction or bonus action). Each one dazed (incapacitated) you afterward, but gave you an extra move (lesser), action (no prefix), or round (greater) to do with as you pleased. I’m willing to guess that there are similar spells in 5e. In 3.5, there were ways of becoming immune to dazing; maybe there’s a 5e-compatible build for that. Either way, as a 9th-level spell, I should get to throw knives at people to my heart’s content before dropping heavy objects (like steam road rollers) on them. Good, but I’m going to go to my grave complaining about the restrictions.

Wish: you can do practically anything, but you have a one in three chance of losing your ability to cast your highest-level spell. IT’S A TRAP!

For very personal reasons, I’m torn between meteor swarm and time stop, but psychic scream is also up there. I think power word kill is unfair, but I cannot say that it’s a bad spell. I don’t like mass polymorph, but I think that’s more me not liking how 5e deals with durations. Wish is too big of a risk for a Sorcerer: you have the chance of losing the most powerful class feature you get and have nothing else that can compensate for that loss (unlike a Wizard); it’s better as a scroll. Gate really should be a ritual, but it isn’t, and it’s expensive, so it really depends on how badly you need to move lots and lots of creatures or summon forth an Elder God.

Divine Soul (Cleric) List

astral projection · gate · mass heal · true resurrection

I’ve already covered gate, thankfully.

Astral Projection: exactly what it says on the tin for you and eight willing creatures. I have never understood why this spell is so high-level. Mechanically, it’s riskier and more expensive than casting plane shift, which is two levels lower. Thematically, it’s a mass version of an effect which in folklore is almost always caster-only, which makes no sense, and it’s at max-level when this is fairly standard practice for shaman and shaman-like figures. (Heck, that’s what a bunch of the associated drug culture is about!) Maybe someone can explain to me why you would want to use this spell. Pass.

Mass Heal: heal 700 HP divided as you choose among any number of creatures (except constructs and undead) you can see within 60 ft.; also cures them of all diseases, blindness, and deafness. On the one hand, this seems like a great spell with a raid or during a cataclysm. On the other, you can accomplish everything this does with lower-level spells. Pretty good, but maybe hold out for...

True Resurrection: a creature you touch (or whose name you speak) is restored to life and perfect health (no wounds, no missing limbs, cured of all diseases and poisons, freed from any curses), even if there are no remains, provided the creature has been dead for no longer than 200 years and is free/willing to return. PICK THIS ONE!

Variant List (UA)

Foresight: for eight hours, a creature you touch can’t be surprised, gets advantage on most d20 checks, and causes all creatures attacking it to roll with disadvantage. This is better than the 3.5 version, which was already very good. Yes, this. Very.

Really Cool Spells It’d Be Great to Take If You Could

Or me lamenting about the limitations of the Sorcerer list

imprisonment · invulnerability · power word heal · prismatic wall · ravenous void · shapechange · storm of vengeance · time ravage · true polymorph · weird

Imprisonment: you know any of those fairy tale/folklore/mythology spells that trap someone for, like, ever? This is it. (Combines the spell of the same name, maze, and binding from 3.5.) You’ve got options if you want to seal someone away -- and it lasts until you say otherwise. Sure, it’d be nice if it were a ritual, but it ain’t; you just gotta take a minute to cast it (and throw in 500 gp. of material per HD of the target).

Invulnerability: you are immune to damage for up to 10 minutes (at the cost of “a piece of adamantine” [in D&D, that’s closer to depleted uranium than it is to diamond] of 500+ gp.). Maybe you don’t like the cost for a spell of that level, but hey, invulnerability.

Power Word Heal: target (non-construct, non-undead) regains all HP; has the charmed, frightened, paralyzed, and stunned conditions removed; and can stand up as a reaction if prone. This is a Bard spell, but it’s on the Cleric and Druid variant lists, so probably is an option for Divine Souls. I can see it being handy, but you’d think mass heal would be a better choice.

Prismatic Wall: you conjure up a rainbow wall/sphere (as prismatic spray) that’s a bitch to get rid of. You want an abjuration? This is it.

Ravenous Void: a miniature black hole that needs some errata (how many spaces do creatures and objects getting sucked in move each round?). It’s ludicrously awesome, though.

Shapechange: other than true polymorph, this is what you want out of polymorphing magic.

Storm of Vengeance: let’s say you want all of the boom-boom of meteor swarm but are more meteorologically focused. Here’s your answer. You end up dealing an average of 49 damage (of three elemental types and bludgeoning) to each creature below a storm cloud (360 ft. radius) you conjure within sight. There’s an arbitrary distance beneath the cloud included, as it doesn’t say how far up the cloud has to be.

Time Ravage: you decrepify someone with timey-wimey magic -- but it’s somehow necromancy!

True Polymorph: you can transform almost anything into almost anything else. The limits on this spell are basically to keep you from thinking you’re a literal god and overall I’d think this would work better in a skill-based magic system, but nonetheless it’s quite clearly the best polymorphing spell in the game.

Weird: this is mass phantasmal killer. It’s directly comparable to psychic scream -- Illusion rather than Enchantment, fear rather than stunning, and more potential targets in a smaller burst instead of headsplosions.

[tigerkirby215]

My worries for Tasha's Subclasses

(Artwork by Wizards of the Coast)

It seems pretty much confirmed that every Unearthed Arcana that’s still considered “relevant” (IE the ones that are a year old and haven’t been officially deconfirmed by WoTC) (IE IE the ones on D&D Beyond) is going to be coming to Tasha’s Cauldron. The only thing that has been confirmed otherwise is that the Psionic Talent Die is going to be changed, which is why I’m not going to comment on any of the psionics subclasses.

However I do have some worries about the subclasses that received a poorer reception. So I guess as a way to document my thoughts, or because I don’t want this account to just be D&D builds I want to give my thoughts and worries on all the current Unearthed Arcana subclasses.

ARTIFICER

The only Artificer we’ll be getting is the Armorer, but we’re also getting a full reprint of the Artificer to “de-Eberron” the class. We’re also confirmed to have new Infusions which makes me extremely hopeful. (I hope they’re not just the infusions from the Artificer UA.)

Regardless I may as well talk about the infusions as well as the Armorer subclass:

ARMORER

The only problem I really have with the subclass is, ironically enough, right on the tin of the subclass. Giving Artificer heavy armor proficiency makes an already extremely tanky class even tankier. I think being able to wear Heavy Armor while dumping Strength is a little much, especially since the weapons also use your Intelligence modifier. It just reeks of min-maxing, and while thankfully Intelligence isn’t as broken as Charisma for the sake of multiclassing shenanigans (no Paladins with a 1 level Hexblade dip) I still think Artificer is going to be extremely strong for Intelligence subclasses like Eldritch Knight, Rune Knight, and ironically enough Arcane Trickster.

Yeah that’s another big problem with the class: the Infiltrator armor. Rogues in Heavy Armor without stealth disadvantage? My favorite. It’s a cool visual but again I don’t want to deal with a 20 AC Rogue. Everything else with the subclass is honestly fine but my problems start and end with Heavy Armor that doesn’t require Strength.

INFUSIONS

Armor of Magical Strength - Similar problems that I have with Armorer subclass, but it’s conceptually fine since it’s limited by level and charges.

Armor of Tools - It sucks but it’s fine.

Helm of Awareness - I honestly think “Alert on a stick” is fine. Infusion slot and Attunement slot for a Feat is fair.

Mind Sharpener - Just… no. Should not be printed. You shouldn’t be able to fail concentration twice.

Spell-Refueling Ring - Just let us build a Spell Storing Ring (IE the magic item.) And not at level 6. Level 10 maybe; level 14 most likely.

BARBARIAN

PATH OF THE BEAST

Thank god for alphabetical order. I honestly think Path of the Beast is fine and I could see the subclass printed without any changes. It’s a little underwhelming but conceptually fine, and it fulfills a good fantasy. I even think the healing ability of the Bite is fine; Battlerager could get Temp HP every turn and that was fine. The ability to heal is balanced out by the weaknesses of the class when compared to the likes of Totem Barbarian.

PATH OF THE WILD SOUL

Ooooh boy now here’s where my problems lie. This entire subclass is bonkers and should not be printed.

WILD SURGE

Oh cool a massive damage nuke plus temp HP for a tank class.

Oh cool unlimited teleportation for a melee class.

Arguably the worst one but still a massive damage nuke for free.

Oh cool more AC and damage reflection for a tank.

Okay the actual worst one and arguably the only “bad” one.

Oh cool making it harder to hit a tank.

Oh cool dual wielding with a Greataxe, and giving a melee character ranged options.

Oh cool an Iron Man laser at the start of a fight that bursts enemies and sets them up for you to attack them.

This ability should have more negative options. The entire point of Wild Magic is to have a chance to screw you over or a chance to majorly help. The class also doesn’t need three different damage nukes at the start of rage. (Equaling a 3/8 chance to just nuke the enemy.)

MAGIC RESERVES

The single dumbest ability ever printed on a class in 5e. I honestly see no way to make this balanced, even if it was limited to once per long rest. Also how the hell is this balanced for 6th level? This should be the 10th level ability at least.

ARCANE REBUKE

Free damage as a reaction. This ability is simultaneously super underwhelming and way too powerful.

CHAOTIC FURY

Makes your stupidly OP level 3 ability even more “reliable.” And unlike WM Sorcerers you have a 2/8 chance to get something good; not a 2/50 chance.

BARD

I honestly have no problems with the College of Creation beyond the level 3 Bardic Inspiration feature, which is underwhelming.

I doubt College of Spirits is going to come out. It’s way too early for that subclass since it hasn’t been tested enough.

CLERIC

TWILIGHT DOMAIN

Honestly I remember thinking this subclass was really overpowered but looking it over again… It’s fine? Other than the fact that the level 17 ability is poopy it’s fine.

UNITY DOMAIN

Also got no major problems with this subclass. A bit on the strong end but no worse than some of the existing Clerics.

DRUID

They’re both great and I have no complaints.

FIGHTER

Rune Knight is a very mixed bag for me. On one hand I love the growth ability and I think it makes Rune Knight a great universal damage class while also having a great mental fantasy to it.

On the other hand this class is almost entirely based on the runes? And what I find especially confusing is that the runes seem way more powerful than “doing an extra d6 of damage.” Yet Giant’s Might is limited to long rests and the runes come back on a short rest?

I’d personally like to see Giant’s Might have only one or at most 2 charges, but have the ability come back on a short rest. But to compensate I think the runes should be limited by long rests, since they’re so powerful as is. This would also make the ability to unlock more runes as you level up more useful, as it would give you more options throughout the day instead of being overloaded with actions that aren’t fighting as a fighter.

Oh and let’s talk about those runes, hm?

Hill - So Barbarian’s Rage is limited by long rests, but the rune that literally recreates Rage’s damage absorption is short rest reliant? Kk.

Fire - Cool worse Hold Person that they can save against every turn. Arguably the weakest rune, though probably the coolest mental image. I’d actually be okay with this one remaining short rest reliant.

Frost - I honestly don’t think getting +1 to Strength-based stuff is that OP. The dumb thing is that this gives you advantage on skill checks with two skills passively. Animal Handling and Intimidation aren’t amazing but they aren’t useless either.

Cloud - Again two skills you get Advantage on, but Slight of Hand and Deception are more situational. Redirecting an attack is also situational; can be strong but you need a target to redirect it to among other things. Also one of the more balanced runes.

Stone - By far the best passive boost combined with by far the worst active ability, but that isn’t to say that a 1 minute pseudo-banish is useless.

Storm - Alert on a stick? Advantage on a skill you’re probably going to be making a lot of skill checks for (as an Intelligence character)? TEN CHARGES OF THE LUCKY FEAT? Excluding the zillion and one other synergies with this rune (hey do you want your Rogue to sneak attack completely for free) being able to screw with hit percentages is a quick way to break encounters in 5e.

IMO the Fire, Frost, and Cloud runes are fine. The Stone rune is a bit too strong passively but I think it would be balanced if it gave advantage to something other than Insight. Hill and Storm are way too strong though: Hill should be limited to Long Rests and Storm should be outright reworked.

Other than that Defensive Runes is OP but it’s probably going to be limited to a number of times equal to your Intelligence mod (akin to Artificer.)

MONK

Woo boy here we go.

WAY OF MERCY

The big problem with this subclass is that it’s extremely weak early but insanely strong late. A melee range Healing Word (d4 + WIS) is insanely underwhelming but 20 charges of Cure Wounds that you can use while also attacking 3 times is ridiculous.

Oh and you know what’s especially ridiculous? Doing 4d10 damage to an enemy that’s incapacitated or poisoned! Hands of Harm is conceptually meh but with the triple damage to incapacitated enemies this suddenly lets a Monk pump out 16d10 damage for 5 Ki points (which they get back on a Short Rest!) To put this into perspective Psychic Scream does 14d6 damage - less die rolled and a smaller die size! Yeah yeah “but Psychic Scream is AoE and stuns!” doesn’t stop the fact that this subclass is doing a 9th level spell’s worth of damage.

Noxus Aura is conceptually stupid and makes a class that’s already hard to kill with ranged attacks near-impossible to kill with ranged attacks. Healing Technique lets you cast a second level spell along with your first level spell every turn but I suppose it’s situational. And Hand of Mercy? Oh okay 20 days of being unable to move and being damage immune.

This subclass is a complete mess and while I’m fine with a healer Monk it shouldn’t also double as one of the strongest DPS classes in the game. “It uses a lot of Ki points” yes but Ki points come back on a short rest. You shouldn’t have four 9th level spells per short rest.

WAY OF THE ASTRAL SELF

Honestly I think this subclass is fine with the exception of how many attacks it gets, which completely screws with action economy, average hit percentages, and just general DPS. No class should be able to outright ignore one of its earlier features because a new feature it gets is just objectively better, and Astral Self gets to ignore Flurry of Blows because it has it 24/7. I get that they wanted to recreate the JoJo Stand Rush but Monks already attack 4 times, which is more than enough.

PALADIN

Oath of the Watchers is honestly fine if a little weak. My only problem with the subclass is that it has a very Ranger-esque problem of being way too good at what it’s meant to do. (IE fight Extraplaner Threats.)

“But you said Wild Soul doing damage with its reaction was OP!” The difference is that Oath of the Watchers has limited range and is limited to spells, so unlike Wild Soul you can’t do free damage to the giant who just tried to smash you with his club.

RANGER

I’ve given my complaints about Fey Wanderer before. Basically I think the subclass is way too weak, but if they buff it up I think it would be fine. As for Swarmkeeper it’s conceptually weird but in terms of balance it’s fine.

ROGUE

I remember really disliking the Phantom Rogue but looking at it again… it’s fine? I still think the major problem with the subclass is its flavor, and while you can reflavor it decently well (I still really like the concept of a Transdimensional Trickster, playing as a foil to the Horizon Walker Ranger) I think the core concept is far too edgy for most people.

I’ve actually personally played a low level Phantom Rogue for a one shot and I think Wails from the Grave are fine if a little weak overall. I think Ghost Walk is a little OP (as you can give enemies essentially permanent disadvantage to hit you every fight, along with the ability to ignore terrain) but everything else is honestly fair.

SORCERER

I still don’t like Clockwork Soul. I think XP to Level 3 sums it up best (6:33):

Basically the early level abilities are fine but at late level you get:

An insanely high guarantee to hit your attacks (not everything at level 14 is going to have 20 AC, but if the enemy you’re fighting has 20 AC or lower you have a 100% guarantee to hit them) + a massive defensive boost (on top of your already massive defensive capabilities.)

A 9TH LEVEL HEAL SPELL FOR 7 SORCERY POINTS???

“But it’s a high level ability!” Yeah high level abilities shouldn’t be completely ass-blast bonkers. The high levels exist to be played and you can’t defend broken high level abilities with “well you won’t get to high level anyways.”

WARLOCK

My sweet darling baby Warlock. Probably doesn’t come as a surprise to people that I think both the Warlock subclasses are great, and it also probably doesn’t come as a surprise that I have personally played both of them!

Undead probably isn’t going to get in (good because I really don’t like that subclass) so let’s talk about the others:

GENIE

Currently playing a mid tier (level 8) full Genie Warlock in a campaign. First of all I want to say that I love the versatility built into this class with the four different sub-subclasses you can pick.

Anyways this subclass ironically feels like the “Warlock+” class akin to Champion Fighter (Fighter+), Open Hand Monk (Monk+), and Eloquence Bard. (Bard+) At level 3 you get a safe place to short rest (Bottled Respite) and a mini Agonizing Blast (Genie’s Wrath.) Level 6 you get three charges of non-concentration flight which is huge for a class that doesn’t get a lot of spells. Level 10 you can now get a safe short rest for your whole party. And level 14 gives you another spell slot once ever 1d4 days.

I think the roleplay opportunity with this subclass is great given the versatility between sub-subclasses and the ability to essentially carry a house with you. My only major problem with the Genie Warlock is that I find it hard to create a character who isn’t just Aladdin. I found it a lot easier to play this subclass when I started thinking of the patron as just an elemental instead of a genie specifically, but I hope Tasha’s Cauldron will come with some lore inspiration for people who want to play the Genie Warlock, because I think the subclass is very fun and well designed!

Still a little salty that my Yuumi build is outdated because of the rework to Genie, but who knows I might make a Unity Domain Yuumi when Tasha’s Cauldron comes out.

LURKER IN THE DEEP

I took a 6 level dip in this subclass for a Bardlock awhile ago. I will say I love this subclass but again ironically my only major complaint with the subclass is that it focuses too much on its theme. I would’ve much rather preferred a general “summoner” Warlock, but I acknowledge that Warlock subclasses don’t really work like that. So a Kraken Patron is honestly fine for this concept, and I can tolerate all the strange fish-related abilities while reflavoring the subclass.

WIZARD

I’m not a big fan of the Order of the Scribes, since I personally feel that it doesn’t really fulfill the “living spellbook” theme.

I have a few small complaints about the class’ features: I don’t like that the subclass is able to replace the damage type of a spell completely liberally. (Sorcerers have to use Sorcery Points and Metamagic to do that?) I also think the level 14 ability is rather underwhelming, but that can be fixed.

Other than that I think the subclass is conceptually fine? But I still feel like there’s more you can do with the theme.

TL;DR

I’m very worried about the following classes:

Mind Sharpener Artificer Infusion (You shouldn’t be able to lose concentration twice.)

Wild Soul Barbarian (Every single ability that this subclass gets is overpowered and I’m really worried about this Wild Magic Spellslot Battery Clown Fiesta subclass.)

Way of Mercy Monk (Comedically overpowered with the highest DPS of any Monk subclass along with massive healing output and a TWENTY DAY LONG PARALYSIS?!)

Clockwork Soul Sorcerer (Late game abilities are OP.)

I am mildly worried about the following classes:

Armorer Artificer (Having such liberal access to Heavy Armor is a bit too strong imo.)

Rune Knight Fighter (I think some of the runes need a major rework, and I’d like more of a focus to be put on the Giant’s Might ability.)

Way of the Astral Self Monk (Too many attacks.)

Oath of the Watchers Paladin (It’s a little too good at fighting extraplanar threats.)

I am disappointed with the following classes:

Fey Wanderer Ranger (I think the abilities are really weak compared to existing Rangers, and considering we’re talking about Ranger that’s saying a lot.)

Order of the Scribes Wizard (I think there’s more you can do with the concept.)

And everything else is fine.

[averydistinctivestyle]

So, thoughts on Nott's lack of transformation and the creature that cursed her:

1) I doubt Remove Curse is an option, at least at this point. First, when Matt was describing the ritual, it was almost like... like something was hiding in Nott, deceptive and not even visible on the outside. Sinister and resistant if not immune to the straightforward attempts the clerics could make to destroy it. If Remove Curse works at all, I don't think it would work in a way that we'd (and Nott) would like. I wouldn't be surprised if it was only one of a multitude of spells cast that could be incredibly harmful if removed without a lot of care, though I won't be disappointed if that's not true either.

2) The thing that cursed Nott is almost certainly a hag. That laugh plus the seeming deal with the goblins plus the hidden curse, all points toward a hag being the culprit. I don't know much, stat-wise, about hags, but I'm willing to bet she's a pretty high level caster (at an absolute minimum she was 9th level during the backstory, to have Reincarnate).

3) I don't think Nott will agree to, right now, go after her. Not that I think they won't ultimately rip her apart limb from limb, because that's definitely happening sometime, but right now Nott isn't going to want to derail the party from the pressing and time-sensitive issues already on their plates. I think Nott is going to delay this for a little while. Not indefinitely, but a while. She's already taken the plunge and accepted the fact of her impending transformation, but there's a big difference between acceptance and actively seeking it out. This will give the characters some beautiful, beautiful angst and tension to work through, because that's the Sam Riegel Special right there.

4) The hag is most likely not the woman who helped Caleb, but she may be the woman who made a deal with Thoreau Lionett. Maybe.

Between the two options for how Caleb was healed, either Remove Curse or Greater Restoration, the class of the woman in his backstory is likely a cleric. (The material components required for Greater Restoration do, however, lead to the idea that she Removed Curse instead, and this is a spell available to more classes than Greater Restoration.) If not, based on Vergessen's stated purpose, she would probably be a wizard like Caleb. Now, I know there are ways for casters to gain spells from other classes, and I know Matt doesn't always give his NPCs a class, but due to the relatively high level of Reincarnate and the importance of the hag to one if not more backstories - and now, as a boss to fight - I'm pretty sure the hag is a druid.

Other than that, one thing I do know is that the behavior of the characters doesn't match up if they're the same woman. The hag in Nott's story was in some sort of working relationship with the goblins ("Make her suffer"), which tracks with what I know of hags - tending to make "deals" instead of helping people out of a sense of altruism. The behavior in the asylum was, unless Caleb is lying out of his ass, purely altruistic, the act of a woman during a series of moments of lucidity who saw that someone needed help. The contrast is stark, and I really don't think there's a possibility of Caleb's rescuer being Nott's Big Bad.

However, the woman in Thoreau's story is another matter entirely. A fortune teller who said to grow wine on a particular parcel of land, who is going to come back for her pound of flesh one day, leaving a superstitious man to his paranoia and lurking, doing her own thing for her own ends in the meantime -yeah, I can see it. If she's not a hag, I'll be really shocked. As to her being Nott's hag, narrative convenience was my main reason for buying it until I remembered that druids can basically make sure land is fertile for crops for a big damn radius, a la Keyleth a couple times in campaign 1. Fortune telling proper might be a crock (sort of), but this is actual, official magic that Nott's hag would, if I'm right, have just as a feature of being a certain class.

Now, don't get me wrong, if they're two different women I won't be disappointed, but I also won't be shocked at all if Matt looked at these two backstories and got a big damn grin. There are enough parallels between Nott and Beau to justify it - girls who grew up never being enough, taken away and changed into who they are now, with a small child whose life potentially hangs in the balance based on the choices they make. The mysterious figure in their stories could work as the same woman. Plus, narrative convenience and not having to fight two whole unrelated hags. I dig it.

[utilitycaster]

I’ve seen this question going around and: what are you fav subclasses within the main classes?

You have asked the right person, as I made a spreadsheet with all the subclasses and a single-line blurb about why someone might want to play that subclass to better know what the options were. Anyway:

Barbarian: Storm Herald. No one ever picks the several storm-themed subclasses, or when they do (Shakaste!) it’s a guest and there isn’t enough time to get into that aspect because they’re cool enough without it. Anyway, it mostly centers around aura effects, which is great because barbarians are melee fighters anyway. I personally like the sea effects, which lets you do all kinds of lightning and knocking prone damage and lets you breathe underwater.

Bard: Another one that no one picks (including me because I didn’t know better), so to be fair maybe it sounds cooler than it is, but college of valor, which lets you actually be good at fighting. Bards don’t get many attack spells, and healing word is one of their bread-and-butter spells, so while the vicious mockery+healing word combo is pretty nice, valor lets you attack like a fighting subclass, lets your allies essentially do their own cutting words, and really amps up the jack of all trades aspect.

Cleric: Light Domain. Not that clerics don’t get decent damage spells anyway, but I mean, fireball. Also a lot of the deities of the light domain are deities of things like art and creativity and arcana as well, which is very much the cleric vibe I’d like to have.

Druid: Circle of Dreams. It involves the fey and it offers some really interesting protection and healing bonuses, plus the ability to teleport back to where you last finished a long rest on the current plane, without expending spell slots, which would be super useful for dangerous missions.

Fighter: I think I’ve established I would play an eldritch knight immediately. I would also like to shout it the fighter subclass that is not my favorite, but that I love for taking a class known for being versatile and good with many weapons and really putting all the eggs in one basket and that’s Arcane Archer. Fun fact - when I decided to create a character (which I have never played and probably will not) purely by dice rolls (ie, assigning things like class and race to the appropriate die and rolling it to see what I got) I did roll a halfling arcane archer and that did lead me to have to write a really interesting backstory. But: eldritch knight.

Monk: Way of the open hand. I like a lot of the other monk subclasses but this is the one that gives you quivering palm, the monk equivalent of second wind, and even at low levels, if you successfully hit with one of your flurry of blows attacks, the creature you hit can’t take reactions. No save - it just happens. To quite a not very wise man, “Doty, take this down: monks are overpowered as shit.”

Paladin: So I love the actual text of the oath of the ancients, but I think oath of devotion gets skipped over and it shouldn’t. This might be because I just saw the scene in The Unsleeping City where the furies looked for evil in the heart of Ricky Matsui, oath of devotion paladin, and couldn’t find it, but I think a lot of people like to play chaotic or complicated and that’s great and fine but there’s something really beautiful and unexplored in being lawful good and truly dedicated to a cause just on an RP level, and then the abilities are also pretty good.

Ranger: Horizon walker! Because extraplanar stuff is always extremely cool and you get to be friends with good-aligned dragons.

Rogue: Another one I’ve never seen played - the mastermind. I did like seeing inquisitive, and swashbuckler is super fun, but I would love a game with a lot of knotty political intrigue and a rogue who excels at hiding in plain sight.

Sorcerer: another opportunity to go for storm subclasses, and I will definitely take it. I think the reason I never was super attracted to sorcerer as a class is because wild magic just seems too chaotic, and I don’t super want to grow wings or be a dragon? But being a living embodiment of the storm and having magic from it seems very good.

Warlock: Archfey. It is your chance to be taken by the fey in D&D, and you should absolutely lean into that. Also at L10 you become totally immune to charm effects which is a great way to make your DM very frustrated, and the spells you get are pretty cool. I would personally either take pact of the blade or pact of the tome, depending on how I rolled (I like melee but if you’re not a hexblade, you still need to attack with the blade with dex or strength) and who else is in my party; pact of the tome does give you some really great cantrip options.

Wizard: I think I said my favorite school was abjuration and I stand by that, though I also like evocation a lot (this is also why I want to play an eldritch knight). Basically, I’ll play either defense or offense depending on what the party needs. If everyone else is fairly tank-y I’ll gladly go for evocation; if I’m not the only squishy one then abjuration.

[curriebelle]

Where Law and Chaos Came From: a D&D History Lesson

I’ve seen a few interesting posts about Dungeons and Dragons alignments that all share two interesting commonalities:

1) They think the two-axis system of Law vs Chaos and Good vs Evil is too restrictive for people who like to roleplay. 2) They try to redeem the two-axis system by redefining Law and Chaos in ways that make sense to them personally.

Good and Evil aren’t usually a topic of debate on these posts - it’s easy enough to play a character as generally doing the right thing or as being a total bastard. Discussion on acts of more debatable morality (e.g. torturing a villain for vital information, killing an innocent person by accident, sacrificing one for the good of all) tends to veer towards whether the action itself qualifies as good or evil, and not whether good and evil themselves need to be redefined. Conversely, I’ve seen Law and Chaos rewritten as Community vs Individuality, Tradition vs Cultural Mutability, Authority vs Anarchy - all interesting ideas that tend to reflect more on the person writing them than the actual purpose of the Law vs Chaos axis.

I’m not saying these people are wrong, but that these players (as well as the fine folks who wrote the 5e Handbooks) are placing too much significance on the purpose or intention of Law vs Chaos. The historical secret is that Law vs Chaos alignment never had any deep meaning behind it - or, at least, it never had any meaning deeper than the Pittsburgh Penguins versus the Vancouver Canucks.

I’ll explain how, but it requires a bit of a history lesson. The idea of Lawful and Chaotic alignments - as well as a number of other cornerstones of Dungeons and Dragons - came from a different game: a miniature wargame called Chainmail. It’s time for a deep dive.

In 1970, before he helped create Dungeons and Dragons, Gary Gygax developed a ruleset for modeling Medieval-Era battles using miniatures. Miniatures were organized into opposing armies, and the modeled battles were long, drawn-out math sessions, preoccupied with calculating distances, damages, casualties and morale. If you’ve ever played or seen Warhammer 40k, it’s a lot like that, except with English Longbowmen instead of Space Marines.

The purpose of Chainmail was to recreate historical battles, and so the gameplay mechanics were painfully precise, with rules for weather, terrain, and siege weapons. Only at the tail end of the Chainmail rulebook, in a tiny ten-page appendix, did Gygax include the rules that would become the basis for all of Dungeons and Dragons. This was the Chainmail Fantasy Supplement.

Even in the Fantasy Supplement, the purpose was still to recreate battles. The second edition of Chainmail - the oldest version I could find, from 1971 - instructs players on how to “refight the epic struggles related by J.R.R. Tolkein...and other fantasy writers”, only suggesting that the player could “create [their] own world” as an afterthought. Chainmail’s fantasy supplement was made so LOTR nerds could re-create the battles of Helm’s Deep or Pelennor Fields, down to the walking trees and boulder-throwing trolls.

Still, a couple of fun details are kicking around in those ten pages. Even back then, fireball and lightning bolt spells were the main tools in the wizards’ arsenals. Dragons and other powerful fantasy creatures could only be hit with magic weapons - an immunity that lingers on some powerful D&D monsters to this day. Even the colour varieties of dragons were introduced here, and they’ve remained largely unchanged for nearly half a century now:

“White Dragons live in cold climates and breathe frost. Black Dragons are tropical and spit caustic acid. The Blue variety discharges a bolt of electricity. Green Dragons waft poisonous vapours--chlorine--at their opponents”

Classic! (I did omit the mottled purple dragon with the poisonous stinger, but those stuck around too - they’re just called wyverns now). 

At the very end of the fantasy supplement, you can find the following list:

I’m not sure why Gygax thought it was “impossible to draw a distinct line between “good” and “evil” here - honestly, this looks like a pretty straightforward good-neutral-evil list to me, but there you are. So Goblins, Orcs, Balrogs and Dragons are CHAOS, and Hobbits (who became Halflings later once copyright started getting huffy), Heroes, Ents and Magic Weapons (?) are LAW. Wizards can be either LAW or CHAOS; Elves are neutral (but kinda lawful sometimes); and apparently there are Super Heroes in the Lawful camp (Gygax describes them earlier as “like Conan”.)

The purpose of dividing these units into Law or Chaos is not to dictate how they are played, but what team they will play for in the conflict. That’s why I made my hockey analogy earlier: all Law and Chaos defined back then was what team you played for. So, by these rules, if you were building a Lawful Army and your buddy built a Chaos Army, you would both be able to add wizards to your team, but your buddy would have exclusive rights to dragons. You’d be able to add magic weapons, but your buddy couldn’t. Moreover, if you decided to hold a fight in a forest full of pixies and werewolves, you would actually roll off to determine which side those Neutral creatures would join. 

If Law and Chaos did have any deeper meaning in this context, it sometimes dictated how the units behaved. Units of orcs would attack other units of orcs if they failed an obedience check; dragons, being “evil and egotistical”, always had to attack the biggest, most badass targets first. With rules like that, commanding those armies would be more ‘chaotic’, while the lawful side could generally be trusted to obey the commands of the player.

So at worst, the Chainmail law vs chaos axis is a purely logistical division that dictates which units get to join which teams; at its most #deep, it characterizes the combat behaviour of some military units. I think this is probably also the source of D&D racism, e.g. “all orcs are chaotic evil”. That’s a rule that makes much more sense when you’re trying to divvy up the teams in an extremely complex wargame, because you’re looking at orcs en masse, and you’re not too interested in the personalities of individual units.

So, the alignment system does make some sense in Chainmail, where it originated. Here’s where I show you exactly how much influence Chainmail had on D&D and how it struggled to transfer this concept of alignment in a meaningful way.

The “first edition” of D&D - at least the one most of us would recognize as D&D - is officially called Advanced Dungeons & Dragons. That’s the 1977 version in which players create an adventuring party. (It’s called “Advanced” because a “Basic” edition was also released, strictly for levels 1-3). There was actually one other, earlier edition of D&D, which was released in 1974. It was intended to be another Chainmail expansion, so much so that you needed the Chainmail rulebook to play it!

I’m going to ignore that edition, though, since 1) it’s pretty hard to find the rulebook,  2) AD&D was where the game found its own identity anyway and 3) The AD&D handbook is hilariously bizarre, especially when dealing with player morality.

You might know of some of the weirdness of AD&D alignments already. For example, certain classes had to be certain alignments. Paladins were always lawful good; druids were always true neutral. Assassins were automatically evil, and thieves could not be good. Weirdly enough, all monks were lawful - I guess because they adhered to the traditions of their vaguely-east-asian dojos. (By the way, this means that everybody’s favourite Feather Leather Fashionista, Vax’ildan the dual-classed Rogue/Paladin, is a mechanical impossibility in Advanced Dungeons and Dragons.)

It’s easy to see how this move was just an ungainly step forward from Chainmail. Again, this is Gygax telling you what teams your characters must play for - what armies they would join if this were a Chainmail game - without recognizing that the need for an alignment system has basically vanished. We're not picking our fantasy kickball teams anymore; everyone is on the same team, adventuring together, and all an alignment system becomes in that context is a hindrance.

And oh was alignment ever a hindrance in AD&D. Each alignment was a moral code of sorts, but it was also a language. Chaotic Neutral characters shared a language that only Chaotic Neutral characters could understand. Assassins could learn to speak other alignment-languages as they leveled up (or Druidic, if they wanted to be nerds I guess), but if you changed alignment in any way you would lose access to your previous alignment language. This makes absolutely zero sense. Worse still, if you committed an act that didn’t fit with your alignment, it would screw you over mechanically. If a paladin ever willingly committed an evil act they straight-up lost their healing powers and become regular fighters FOREVER. Even if they did something a little bit chaotic, they lost their powers until they could pray the cray away with the help of a lawful good cleric. The book even vaguely suggests that alignment shifting in other classes be met with “great penance”. You’re not allowed to be an assassin again until you do enough poison murders! We’re taking your poison away!

The book describes each individual alignment, but not with any subtlety. This is long before the game itself grasped that the most fun part of tabletop roleplay is the roleplaying, and alignment rules still seem to recall the behaviour of army units rather than the behaviour of individuals. Chaos - as is usually the case - is the alignment that suffers most. The Chaotic Good description gets a nice Robin Hood-y bent, the Chaotic Evil one is the “carnage is good” mantra you’d expect - but here’s Chaotic Neutral:

“Above respect for life and good, or disregard for life and the promotion of evil, the chaotic neutral places randomness and disorder. Good and evil are complimentary balance arms. Neither are preferred, nor must either prevail, for ultimate chaos would then suffer.”

Leaving aside the misuse of the word “complimentary” (you’re looking for complementary, Gygax) and the poorly-structured first sentence - yeah, that’s what the big secret of Chaos is, apparently. It’s not rebellion or individuality (which get championed in the Chaotic Good description), it’s pure, unadulterated, dice-rolling randomness. “Fuck it” made manifest. Don’t think about it too hard, because it doesn’t make any sense, and it will take you down a (fittingly) chaotic wormhole of self-contradiction. 

Lawful Neutral and True Neutral are weird, too. Both are described as pursuing the absolute harmony of the word, but like...you know, in different ways. There’s also a bizarre association between goodness and beauty. “Life and beauty are of great importance”, says the Lawful Good blurb. Does this mean that Delilah Briarwood, Wildemount’s hottest necromancer, is Lawful Good after all? shucks.

It’s pretty clear that AD&D is the awkward gangly phase between wargaming and genuine tabletop roleplay, with lots of weird vestigial features and obnoxiously pedantic mechanics that would later be dropped. For some reason, despite the fact that it never made sense to begin with, alignment wasn’t one of those mechanics - or at least it tended to vanish as a mechanic and then come back again in later editions, slightly different but never fixed. This led to another awkward gangly phase at the turn of the millennium, when D&D rules were adapted into games like Baldur’s Gate or Planescape Torment. Alignment creates fallacies and failures everywhere in those games. If you play Evil in Baldur’s Gate, the game can become basically unwinnable, as NPCs begin to attack you on sight. The way to bond with the Chaotic Neutrals in Planescape Torment is to literally spout gibbering nonsense at a man on the street until he barks at you. Even on Critical Role, with its 5e gameplay and extremely talented dungeon master, alignment feels like an arbitrary interloper rather than an important part of the game. Percy stays Good even after torturing a teenager, but Vex goes Neutral for stealing a broom. Nobody in their right mind would believe Fjord is Lawful Good because of his deception and warlockery, but he technically hasn’t violated the LG handbook so far. 

So because of these repeated failures to use alignment in a compelling way, I see a lot of people hunting for the right way to do alignments, the right way to understand chaos, law, neutrality and the like. They want alignments to fit. But they never did fit. The truth?

Two-axis alignment is stupid, and it always has been.

Honestly, I don’t see the benefit in remedying two-axis alignment as a system. I have my own re-interpretation of chaos that I like fairly well, and I’ve seen a few compelling ones, but I also think that alignment could use a complete makeover. There are some fun examples of morality systems that I’m sure DMs could experiment with, if they so wished. 

You could steal from Ultima IV, for example. The Ultima series was a product of the early days of the computer/tabletop romance - and by early I mean 1980s early. Ultima IV does not use the alignment system: instead, it lets the player ‘train’ in eight virtues to achieve ultimate avatar awesomeness. The virtues are Honesty, Compassion, Valor, Justice, Honor, Sacrifice, Spirituality, and Humility, further divided into the camps of Truth, Love, and Courage. Maybe angels of each of those virtues have corresponding devils (Deception! Cruelty! Cowardice! Injustice! Dishonor! Greed! Blasphemy! Pride!). That could be one way to play with morality without worrying about chaos or law.

I’m also a fan of Pillars of Eternity’s spectra of dispositions, which fit loosely into pairs (not necessarily good or evil pairs, mind you). Benevolent or Cruel, Stoic or Passionate, Honest or Deceptive, Clever or Rational, Diplomatic or Aggressive. Heck, those remind me of the personality sliders in the Sims. What were those again, like - Grumpy/Nice, Playful/Serious, etc?

Those trying to give alignments the benefit of the doubt often suggest that alignments were created to help people roleplay. That’s not...entirely untrue, it’s just misleading. They were created to help people make gameplay decisions, but they were pulled from a different kind of game altogether. It’s like trying to play checkers with chess pieces, and it always has been. The D&D alignment system doesn’t work for D&D because it wasn’t designed for it - it was designed for wargaming. We probably should have just chucked the whole thing instead of enshrining it in nerd culture, but it’s too late for that. Still, our creative energy now would be better spent on a new morality system that actually gives us a thing or two to think about.

[d20-eggroll]

thranduil-aran-edhil said: this is the only post i’ve seen that talks about ondonti! do you have more things about them? and how your character interacts with that aspect of themselves? i’d love to hear it

Oof! @thranduil-aran-edhil​ I’m so sorry I missed this way back when I posted this. I want to say there should be more ondonti stuff out there but so little information was ever weaved in to official lore to begin with it is understandable that they’re basically unknown. 

It is sweet of you to ask about her and I am happy to answer because I love Gabe very much! That and I’ve been thinking of taking what's been done with her and writing it up as an actual subrace for 5e so getting thoughts down is good. Def. no expectation for you to read tho. I know I’m a bit verbose, whoops.

Since there really is so little on ondonti out there a lot of what has become canonical for Gabe is in many ways only inspired by the official stuff. The courting beads are one of the more fleshed out things me and the DM have written about them and have absolutely no basis in Forgotten Realms lore. We (referring to myself and the DM) do use what we can but don’t strictly adhere since even despite having so little written about them there still manages to be conflicting information!

Forgotten Realms lore as far as we understand it:

Eldath is the Goddess of the ondonti. She isn’t their creator but has a special interest in them. Or she IS their creator? Depends on what you read. Their culture as a whole is built heavily around her teachings. We’re talking pacifists who won’t even fight back to defend themselves. That or they’re not! Most stuff talks about how big a part Eldath plays and others say they care less for deities and more for ancestral guidance. 

They are immune to being charmed.

Originally there were 15 tribes, but now only one remains.

The Zhents nearly drove their culture to extinction through abductions to make them slaves. Originally because they were very strong but passive labor. Ondonti, when taught, could also be particularly deadly fighters and they were trying to raise their own force of indoctrinated ondonti mercenaries.

They’re fey that look like orcs but are only related to them. Or they’re just grey orcs descended from orphans raised by a cult? Which is insisted upon to be correct in some places, but then there’s all this fey stuff...

When they come of age ondonti journey to the feywilds and meet a spirit guardian who becomes a lifelong companion.

Ondonti with particularly close kinship to the feywilds tend to become shamans.

Their spiritual nature is heavily tied to the elements. Fire, Water, Earth, Air, Light, and Dark. These teachings come from belief in balance and a sword fighting style invented by an ondonti warrior.

They’re elementally inclined in general, though how isn’t really covered. Water is likely because of Eldath.

The one remaining tribe is protected by Eldath and clerics, or possibly through them. She has some sort of powerful water elemental looking out for them, and has hidden their last village. Or some sort of extraplanar servant. Or maybe both!

Their magic users trend toward druids and clerics. They have longer life spans than typical orcs, around 60 years or so.

They have a little bit of innate magic and it is all defensive spells, like being able to cast barkskin on themself once a day.

Ondonti keep to themselves. They’re out there farming and living village life.

Eventually some zhent ondonti escaped and returned to the way their parents lived with the last tribe, following Eldath’s teachings to an extent- they were no longer pacifists and would sooner fight and kill than let themselves be taken again. 

What we were using as our sources, with plenty of repeating and conflicting information: x - x - x - x - x - x

Homebrew that plays off that stuff that we’ve done:

Went with them being fey. It’s more interesting and makes more sense with the other lore available. 

Taking the fey nature of elves and how elves never would have been created by Corellon if it wasn’t for Gruumsh spilling their blood, ondonti have some elvish traits: longer ears, slighter builds, and a lifestyle more comparable to wood elves.

Fey in general are very pretty. Ondonti have more saturated green skin tones, blue or teal flesh, and brightly colored eyes.

Fey are typically unsettling as fuck and can be very dangerous. Ondonti have sharp teeth, finer but longer tusks, claws, superior dark vision, and are on the tall side even for orcs. All easily missed until one smiles, grips you just a bit too tight, straightens up, or seems to have their eyes on you when they shouldn’t be able to.

Ondonti heal exceptionally well. They still have that strong constitution.

They reach adulthood at 18 because we’re not doing that weird underage bullshit you’re always on WotC STOP THAT

Guardians are a blessing from Eldath, and not every ondonti meets one. Typically they are had by people likely to be shamans.

It is easy for them to learn magic and they tend to be especially talented druids and clerics. Those likely to become shamans have innate spell casting without class lvl consideration.

Ondonti populations set up where they are able to basically live in plus size ewok style villages. It could be possible to walk right under a village and not know it since they’re hidden in the canopy.

Pacifism is the the strong ideal but not the only way. They have warriors who train and work hard to protect the village.

Tribes have some particular marker that they all have- for Gabe’s it was the crescent earrings.

Gabe specific stuff:

It was slavers that took her away from where she was born. Her captured people were trafficked through Sigil. The slaver caravan had some destination on the prime where she grew up but never made it there- it was attacked. Still don’t know why.

When she first found out she was ondonti the only thing she knew about their relationship with Eldath was the pacifism. She’s a barbarian who was a professional fighter to put food on the table for a long time. She struggled with that shame pretty hard.

She uses the unsettling-ness to full potential. Her style of making threats starts almost invariably with a smile.

She does have a Guardian, Toad the owl, who functions like a familiar. 

She has innate magic. At this point she can cast like a lvl 1 wizard and is unlikely to progress past that.

Her bundling had a pair of those earrings. She tried using them to ask around about her origins for the longest time after beginning to travel.

Eldath somehow managed to hear her prayer and this snowballed in to her meeting her brother who’s been searching for a decade to find her.

Recently we actually resurrected Gabe’s birth mother, and she’s still recovering, but there’s probably going to be plenty to learn about what in the hell happened soon.

Physically Gabe is as bright as they come. Horrible orange-eyed chartreuse nightmare. She’s very tall at over 7ft and has always been a bit toothy. She’s got pretty strong features and looks very close to her mom, but if that’s an ondonti thing in general we haven’t seen enough to know.

That’s only gotten worse since she was infected with lycanthropy, which was only a result of her ondonti-ness re: being a giant fuck off green target. Most noticeable are the mobile ears, with the extra length from her race making them hard to hide. She no longer really tries to. When turned she maintains a teal flesh color and her eye color. She also retains her tusks, giving her one more pair than most wereboar have.

PHEW OK that was a lot of stuff. Still not completely over but I did a lot of trimming on those bullet points if you can believe it.

Then there’s Gabe, Finn, Istishia and Eldath.

One of Eldath’s allies is Istishia, the god-like water primordial. Istishia was forcefully ripped from his home planar system (which is the same one Gabe is from) to this one ages ago. He badly wants to return home since this sea just isn’t the same. She’s known the minotaur Finn, the one she’s courting, since long before she became an adventurer. Now he has Istishia as a very present patron after obtaining a weapon that grants him a crazy chunk of primordial power. He plans to go with Gabe and her family if possible. Extraplanar water protect-y boy getting plucked up by an Eldath-y type? Hmmmm.

Finn had given us motivation to go after that weapon, a trident, because his family has been systematically shamed and abused by the minotaur nation for hundreds of years when his ancestor Icarus was killed by a yellow dragon who took it. Except Icarus was never killed. He was the yellow dragon, now called Avyecriarthis, and remained the holder of the weapon for nearly a thousand years before the last Theseus shows up and proves himself worthy of being the next wielder. That wasn’t purposeful and he was surprised as the rest of us.

So across literal time and space, relying on generations directly before and long ago living lives literal worlds apart, in the end somehow these two dipsticks end up together and are related to Istishia, Eldath, the Planar System and Everything.

Avy gifted Gabe a particular greataxe despite not knowing how it worked, and the damn thing grants her “elemental rages” for water, fire, earth and air. There’s been a lot of elemental stuff sprinkled in and it has never been the focus but it has always been there. The whole Eldath/Istishia/The Elements/Planar System Travel/This Coming Apocalypse red string board is basically my Pepe Silvia for this campaign. I know all these elements are connected I just don’t know solidly HOW or WHY and it is KILLING ME SLOWLY. Or it could just be 42.

[crittingcritter]

I had a weird dream about D&D PVP so I made rules for it. Kind of like a Battle Royale on steroids. I will not be running or organizing this game but if you want to, have at it. If not that’s okay, this is just a dumb idea I thought I’d share anyway. Below a cut for length.

Must have an even number of players, so it can be two on two or more or even just one on one.

No DM is necessary but a good idea to have an arbitrator to moderate and refer to rules. If one is not present, having a Fifth Edition Player’s Handbook (PHB) out will help with any actions in question. May only chose a class from the PHB. The DM is not allowed to be a player, to help avoid a conflict of interest.

The only time a DM is necessary, if your group of friends all play online together. Use Google DOCS or some other way to easily share files with each other and help ensure the character randomness stays in the game. That way if two people end up rolling a cleric, you do not have the same two characters in the game playing. The DM will be in charge of handing out new sheets to each player and that sort of thing.

When first starting out, you may pick the class you want. You will get basic starting equipment for your class. When you die, you roll a d12 to see which class you get.

1. Barbarian

2. Bard

3. Cleric

4. Druid

5. Fighter

6. Monk

7. Paladin

8. Ranger

9. Rouge

10. Sorcerer

11. Warlock

12. Wizard

To make the game run smoothly, have preset made character sheets of multiple classes at varying levels. (For flavor, you can change a longsword or whatever to something else if you are proficient with it. Gear will automatically level with you, as you get new character sheets.) This will probably take the most prep work for the game. However, once you have it done you will not have to worry about it any longer. How you gear and build characters is up to whoever is taking the time to do it. Go for diversity as much as the PHB will allow with race and anything else. If you have a large group who wants to play, have each person take two classes and make a bunch of character sheets at different levels to help lighten the load. When doing characters at higher levels, just pick paths or feats, roll for HP, spells and that sort of thing to avoid having to making whole characters so they can fluidly blend with any race, background, etcetera, so that it ends up a being more fluid transition from one level to the next.

To level up a character, a level one character must kill one other player. A level two must kill two other players, and so on and so forth.

There is no time for rests as all this is happening in real time in the game. This is to help ensure if someone ends up quite a bit higher level you have no chance to heal except through abilities and potions. Also ensures spells can only be used so many times. This helps make it a bit more fair if a group that is lower level is fighting another group at a higher level.

When starting each character (and every time you respawn) get one common healing potion, 2d4+2. All level five character sheets should come with a potion of greater healing, 4d4+4. Level ten sheets get a potion of superior healing, 8d4+8. If you kill a player with a healing potion, you can take it in the next round by using up an action. Or if you still have an action available, may use it on your current turn.

Combat will be run just like usual D&D. Initiative, action, bonus action, movement, and reaction. Any time someone respawns, after they roll to see what character they get then they roll for initiative to see where they are in the order next. Respawns happen on your next turn, but feel free to roll ahead of time to have the paper ready to go. You lose a turn on respawning and can do nothing else but stand there. However, so people are not just standing there at a respawn point all character first spawned in are immune to all attacks. You may jump in on the battle in the next round, of wherever your initiative puts you.

Recommended to have character sheets sorted nicely and neatly, but out of the way by class and level. Did you roll for a fighter? Great, grab the character sheet on top. Did you just totally own everyone and get to level eight as a wizard? Awesome! Grab the character sheet on top and see what thing you are getting at level eight. (I.E. What your new HP is, new spell if applicable, feat/skill attribute). When you die, put the character sheet you had on the bottom of the pile of the respected pile. If you are playing online, then the DM needs to keep track on what has and has not been used to ensure randomness and chaos.

Other source materials can be used of course but could make things even messier and more chaotic than this game already is and should be agreed up on by all players beforehand. If you do not have D&D sourcebooks but other sourcebooks for other tabletop games, you can probably use those and tweak the rolls to fit whatever classes your world uses. Or if you have older D&D editions, feel free to use those. Just make sure everyone knows what material they are using to start with and most importantly have fun!

Oh yeah, winning is based upon X number of kills determined ahead of time by all the players. Fewer kills for shorter games, more kills if you have all night to play.

Hardcore mode: A group wins if everyone in the party reaches level 20 before the number of kills is met.

Nightmare mode: A group wins if everyone in the party reaches level 20 because there is no set number of kills in this game.

[wearesorcerer]

[5e] 8th-Level Spells

The glorious thing about 8th-level spells is that they are almost the same thing as 9th-level spells: horrendously powerful in ways that are barely limited. The limitations on 8th-level spells might be a smidge greater than those on 9th-level ones, but it’s not so much that (IMHO) it matters. (TBF, in 3.x spell levels vary by class; mass cure critical wounds is a 9th-level Druid spell but an 8th-level Cleric and Healing domain spell.) 8th-level spells have several perks over 9th-level spells despite being roughly as powerful: they’re available at a lower class level and you can use them more often (because you can use 8th-level and 9th-level spell slots to cast them). From experience and hearsay, I’m well aware that games don’t often get to the highest levels, but they can get to 15th/16th.

In other words, your choice of 8th-level spell is more important than your 9th. The 9th-level spell is the cherry; the 8th-level spell is either the whipped cream or some kind of drizzle.

Primary List

Abi-Dalzim’s horrid wilting · dominate monster · earthquake · incendiary cloud · power word stun · sunburst

That’s four boom-booms and two crowd-controls, with some CC mixed in with the boom-boom.

Abi-Dalzim’s Horrid Wilting: you violently dehydrate all creatures (except constructs and undead) in a 30-ft cube, dealing 12d8 necrotic damage (Con half; plants and water elementals take double damage). Non-creature, non-magical plants in the area wither and die instantly. This spell didn’t have an associated mage’s name in 3e, so I’m not sure where that came from. Other differences: it deals necrotic instead of typeless damage (you’re not applying what 3e would call “negative energy”), so undead and constructs are now immune to it; it deals a flat number of d8s instead of 1d6 per caster level (up to 20d6); and vulnerable creatures take double damage (makes sense) instead of increasing the die type to d8s. I don’t have much to complain about with this spell. It’s not my personal cuppa, but it sure is effective. Good.

Dominate Monster: you charm a creature, turning it into your mind slave for up to an hour. This is overall a downgrade from the 3e version (which lasted for one day per caster level and allowed you to perceive through the subject’s senses if you concentrated), but you don’t have to worry about issuing weird commands to prevent a creature from pulling a Sorcerer’s Apprentice problem -- and, well, you’re not waiting until 18th level (as you had to in 3.x) to get it. Do not pretend you are not horrifically evil for using this. “Good” in the sense that it’s highly useful and powerful.

Earthquake: This is the structural aspect of meteor swarm without the direct damage. It’s nearly as spectacular and will assuredly scare people in the area. The mun doesn’t care for the Earth element, but can still respect this thing’s power. Good.

Incendiary Cloud: a moving fireball that deals a flat amount of damage (10d8 fire, Dex half) but is effectively a DoT. Y’know, in case just blasting things to death wasn’t good enough for you. So far, so good.

Power Word Stun: target of 150 HP or less within range is stunned (no save); it remains stunned until, on each of its turns, it can succeed at a Con save. I like this spell a little better than power word kill in that there is some chance of the effect wearing off, as opposed to being an “I win” button almost regardless of level. It also affects more HP, so you’ll get more mileage out of it -- provided you don’t cast it on something with a good Con save. It’s not dominate monster levels of “I win,” but it’s also not mind control.

Sunburst: much bigger than fireball, blinds for one minute and deals 12d6 radiant damage (Con negates blindness, halves damage; oozes and undead have disadvantage on the save). Creatures blinded by the spell can save at the end of each of their turns to remove the blindness. ”Radiant” damage is a hold-over from 4e and was the term used to replace “positive energy,” which related to the plane of the same name. The 3.x version deals half as much typeless damage (bigger radius, though), ‘cuz it’s a light effect, not a holy effect. Sorcerers don’t get a lot of spells that deal Radiant damage unless they go Divine Soul and the Elemental Spell metamagic (UA variants) doesn’t let you change to or from Radiant (or any physical, Force, Necrotic, Poison, or Psychic) damage, so if you’re trying to cover your damage types, this is probably the spell for you. Unless you want sunbeam. A good boom-boom of boominess.

Cleric (Divine Soul) List

antimagic field · control weather · holy aura

Antimagic Field: magic stops working in a 10 ft. radius sphere centered on you. That means you shut down your class. Why would anyone do this? Mainly because of other casters. I WOULD NOT PICK THIS SPELL UNLESS YOU FIND A WAY OF ALSO BEING COMPETENT IN MELEE.

Control Weather: I’m pretty sure this is also an option for the Storm Soul or whatever it’s called, but whatevs. You’re Storm from X-Men. Need I say more? TAKE THIS SPELL!

Holy Aura: for 1000 gp, you can pretend to be a Paladin for up to a minute (with concentration). You and creatures you choose glow; they (and presumably you) have advantage on saving throws and all other creatures have disadvantage on attacks against them; Fiends and Undead that hit a creature must save (Con) vs. blindness until the spell ends. The effects are kinda neat, but why am I spending an 8th-level spell on this? Like, seriously, this is a second-level spell’s power. Pass.

Variant List

Demiplane: you create a permanent 30′ x 30′ x 30′ extradimensional room; every time you cast the spell, you can either create a new plane or gain access (via shadowy door) to one you’ve made or know of. It’s like having a better version of a bag of holding and a worse version of Mordenkainen’s magnificent mansion at once. The advantages over MMM (no costly material component, the space is permanent) outweigh its drawbacks. For Sorcerers who have incredibly awesome plans and/or just like planar magic.

Spells I Wish Were on the List

animal shapes · antipathy/sympathy · clone · glibness · illusory dragon · maze ·  mind blank · telepathy · tsunami

Animal Shapes: as I said about 9th-level spells, animal shapes is better for anyone who cares about polymorphing party members. There’s bound to be a Druidic or therianthropic origin at some point.

Antipathy/Sympathy: because 3.x got rid of inverting spells (a thing in AD&D), these were separate ones, so it’s good to see them as one effect. The downside is...why is this so high level? You specify a kind of creature (which sounds like species rather than type) that is affected by the spell and either wants to approach or flee from within 60 ft. of something. In real life, 60 ft. is not all that big; it’s tremendous in D&D because D&D is weird. The 10 day duration is really the only thing that justifies this spell’s level, but that’s an upgrade (it was two hours per caster level).

Clone: as I recall, this was the spell that made me realize how restricted the 5e Sorcerer’s spell list was, to my great disappointment. I’ve never used clone, but it’s a spell that’s worth using. You want to pull a Naraku? You can out do Naraku. You want to be a lich? Why would you when you can just use this spell and find a better method of gaining immortality? Such a good spell!

Glibness: This is something of an upgrade, yet not. The spell was new to 3.5; it was a Bard-only spell and third level (why it’s a Transmutation effect and not an Enchantment is beyond me), whereas here it’s 8th-level. The effects are identical save that the 3.5 gave you +30 on the check and worked for 10 min./level (which, given how Bards worked back then, meant 70+ minutes), whereas this treats your roll as a 15 and lasts for an hour. Rolling a 15 in 5e is much better than it was in 3.x given how easy it was to inflate die rolls, so the spells are roughly the same...except that this is an 8th-level spell, which is mind-blowing to me.

Illusory Dragon: other than going off of Investigation (3.5: Search) instead of Perception (Spot), this is pretty much greater shadow conjuration one level higher and with a specific thing it can do. I’d say compare it against phantasmal forces from O/B/AD&D. Still cool.

Maze: I’m assuming you can accomplish the same thing with imprisonment, but regardless, mazing is awesome.

Mind Blank: this is pretty much the best abjuration magic against spells that affect or target a creature’s mind. (I’d say that unequivocally, but I don’t know all spells in 5e.) Yes, it’s worth having. Very much so.

Telepathy: the only advantages this spell has over telepathic bond (a 5th-level spell) are that it lasts for 24 hours, you can cast it on a creature on the same plane from any distance, and it affects basically all creatures (IIRC you can’t have 0 in a stat anymore). The duration is key here, as permanency is no longer a spell.

Tsunami: I just like the idea, ‘kay?