#the novels great. the movie is fucking annoying
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Just remembering how absolutely fucking terrified I am at the idea of ghosts.
#if i ever see a fucking shadow man in the mirror or some shit i am leaving amd never fucking coming back#dont get me wrong i like the while idea of ghost hunting but like fuck would i do it solo.#if you put me in a big pitch black house on my own id go crazy and have a full blown mental breakdown#seriously the idea of being in the dark of a massive house you dont know while something is very possibly in the dark#absolutely FUCKING not#also in horror i like when the whole ghost thing is really like subtle or just fucks with your head#it's why i like the novel the woman in black and not the movie#the novels great. the movie is fucking annoying#but rant over. fuck ghosts. and fuck being in the dark with them.#random rambles
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Novel A New Hope Vader is my favourite Vader (so far) because he Is Anakin, he is everything Anakin is set up to be. He is intimidating, he is overwhelming, standing next to him feels like standing next to a black hole, he is-
The biggest little shit in the entire galaxy.
You canNOT convince me that he didn’t say half his lines with a shit-eating smirk. He is awful to be around, he is the worst person to ever exist, he is SO annoying.
And Novel Vader is so Anakin because the book can give us details the movie can’t. The book gives us the author’s choice of wording, the way the author intended the scenes to be, and Vader is such a little shit almost constantly but my FAVOURITE will always be when Tagge talks back to him about the Force, saying it isn’t as powerful or scary as he makes it out to be and Vader just-
“I find,” Vader ventured mildly, “this lack of faith to be disturbing.”
-the WORD CHOICE. The fucking WORDS chosen.
“Ventured”??? “Mildly”??? He is CHOKING this man!!! This man is DYING!! He is being such a little shit right now, this is it. This is the Him, this is Anakin Skywalker right here. He is using unnecessary force and being a bitch about it and there will never be anything that so perfectly encapsulates Anakin Skywalker than this fucking scene in this fucking novel.
On the topic and as a brief aside, the novel is what makes me think that Leia was planned to be Vader’s kid, or at least a narrative mirror to Vader, right from the start. She is also such an Anakin.
“Darth Vader… I should have known. Only you would be so bold— and so stupid.”
She just… also. Encapsulates Anakin. Like. Yeah. Yeah, this is what he could have been. He could have been a terrifying figure that people rallied behind. He is loyal to the death, as is Leia. She spits on Darth Vader while he’s having her dragged away. She mocks him to his face. This is the character that the Anakin Skywalker of future movies mimics. Her passion, her anger, her being a little shit and insisting throughout everything that it WAS a diplomatic vessel and they WERE on a diplomatic mission.
Leia is the first character to face down Vader in this novel and not show fear. She is the first character who refuses to submit in the face of the scariest guy in the galaxy. She continues to refuse to submit. She’s just. A great fucking liar.
Leia puts all her trust, her very life and the sake of the entire rebellion she’s fighting for, in a droid. An astromech droid. She begs for them to take the droid further, not for them to find her. She’s willing to die, and she trusts her death will not be in vain because she trusts a droid.
And that, if nothing else, is all the proof needed that Leia is what Anakin could have been.
#the inane ramblings of a madman#star wars#anakin skywalker#leia organa#darth vader#i fucking love these two#fucking narrative foils#from falling in love with someone unadvisable and older#to insulting enemies to their fucking face#these two man#leia and anakin are the definition#of the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree#i could go on for hours about the way leia perfectly fits anakin#the way anakin draws so many aspects of himself from leia#because he does!!#the prequels do NOT make anakin luke’s dad#they make him leia’s#the people telling luke he acts like his father are bonkers#i mean surface level yeah#but beneath that#it’s all leia baby#leia is goddamn passion made into light and i fucking love her constantly#a new hope#anh novel#love them love them love them#give me more anakin and leia spending time together and hating every similarity they find#i bet you leia hates sand
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boyfriend headcanons ! itoshi rin
contents. how you met, how you got to know each other, when he realized he liked you, how you started dating, dates, all fluff
warning. rin backstory spoilers, i can't write kiss scenes either, written with all lowercase intended, it's word vomit bc school has screwed me up mentally and i can't think properly atp lmao
a/n. reo, rensuke and yoichi ver coming soon, was supposed to be all four of them but tumblr didn't save some stuff so i lost motivation and i probably wrote too much for rin anyways
how you met
you were invited to hang out with a group of friends, but ended up hating it since you were basically invisible, since everyone else were talking about a common interest you didn't have
you ended up walking away, finding somewhere actually interesting, and found a muji store (minimalist retailer that sells a lot of household items and more), and had your own fun, looking through stationary, skin care, nice clothes, and more.
you were having a great time until you heard someone from the hangout looking for you and calling
rin who notices your panic right next to him, questions what's wrong (not necessarily out of concern, honestly probably because he may have found it slightly irritating)
after you explain your situation briefly, he nods and finds you somewhere to hide, and goes to deal with your friend
he's got perfect control over his facial expressions, he'd easily lie and even if your friend was persistent, he'd still scare him away
"haven't seen them in here, they left a while ago and you better stop yelling,"
"are you sure-?"
"yes. now piss off and stop disturbing everyone here,"
once he's sure your friend's gone, he goes back to where he instructed you to hide, giving you the clear
"i hope that lukewarm asshole wasn't your ex."
you're slightly amused at the word 'lukewarm' it wasn't a typical description you'd hear often. "nope, i'd never date him. thank you so much though. i really appreciate it, please let me do a favor for you"
before he can object, you grab a sample pen, scrawling your number on his hand, "send me a text and i'll do my best to help you with anything okay?" you send him a smile as his eyes widen in shock, "bye kind stranger, have a great day," and before he could respond, you were gone, rushing out the store out of embarrassment for not being able to slip away from your friend uncaught.
how he got to know you
[unknown number] : i really don't need a favor you know?
i hated that idiot anyways, loud and annoying
[you] : don't careeee, i want to make it up to you somehow, please?
i'm y/n, you?
[unknown number] : rin, itoshi rin
after he gave in to your offer, you ended up tutoring him, he didn't care about grades but his high school had a rule of requiring a certain standard of grades to compete in tournaments
turns out he wasn't even a bad student, he's diligent and consistent, he only needed a little bit of guidance and advice, with math being the exception
in between sessions, during breaks and outside of your tuition you'd talk a lot, considering how rin has no friends ("neither do you, your toxic ass friends shouldn't count" he replies when you realize it) and you're patient enough to deal with his personality
even after he has his grades up you still hangout with each other, watching horror movies, playing horror games, reading horror novels / comics (you introduced him to junji ito), and he'd even teach you some soccer when you visit his training. he also tries out all your hobbies and favourite things to do and eat
you two spend so much time together, simply because one has no other friends and the other has no healthy friendships
how he knew he liked you
BRO WAS IN DENIAL. FOR. SO. FUCKING. LONG.
he thought he had a health problem or fever when he felt his face getting hot, or that odd sensation in his stomach, or his heart relentlessly pounding against his chest
he tries to research it, doesn't believe it when he sees all those love related posts, so he literally goes to a doctor
his doctor probably almost instantly realized, and had to deal with rin's denial
"you experience these 'symptoms' with a certain someone, don't you?" the doctor doesn't even bother with noting down anything, he's 100% sure and knows it's perfectly in character for rin to do something like this
"that's not possible- that doesn't make se-," he pauses, and recalls that he only felt that way when it came to you, "... yes," he's sort of bashful, slightly embarrassed but quickly composes himself again. 'i apologise for doubting you, please continue,"
"no worries," with a grin, his doctor prepared leave and meet his next patient, "i diagnose you with love sickness,"
when i tell you, this man fucking asked him what meds to take and what to do as self treatment
his poor doctor mentally face palmed himself, sat himself back down and had a (long) talk with this emotionally repressed boy
rin still insists it's something medically wrong, but he's soon shoo-ed out of the office, while hastily being told to make sure he's honest with his feelings, otherwise it never goes right
back at home, he's lying in bed, revising what his doctor said
"rin you need to learn how to acknowledge your emotions. i understand they're confusing and i'm not a therapist, but you can't keep denying it. it's just as unhealthy to neglect your emotions as it is to ignore an injury,"
...
denial huh?
he thinks of you and his heart once again can't calm down, his face burns and his stomach is doing somersaults. he buries his face in his palm, groaning. he hated anything unfamiliar, anything that he couldn't navigate with confidence, or fully comprehend.
"do you really despise it? or do you refuse to acknowledge your feelings because you've never experienced something like this,"
his doctor's advice comes back to him, and he thinks.
if he truly loathed how you made him feel, why is he still hanging out with you, why is he still investing his time into you, why do you make him so damn happy?
he passed out eventually completely lost in thought
how you ended up dating
some time passes and you finally have the courage to confess to him only to receive a cold "i don't feel the same way," a complete lie
accepting his emotions was one thing, accepting a relationship is another. he could immediately feel regret clawing at his stomach, he wanted to tell you. badly, how much he likes you, your patience, intelligence, your kindness, literally everything
yet nothing comes out. only his stoic and stupid facade's character
you walk away after mumbling out an apology for making things awkward, and rin's left there standing, finger nails digging crescents of frustration into his palm
he's overwhelmed with his thoughts, some insisting for him to give up and accept that he fucked up, others demanding him to move and fix things
what would be worse than losing you, anyways?
and that last thought was the final push, he's basically sprinting towards you, soon his arms are wrapped around you, releasing a gasp of surprise from you.
"ri-?"
"i lied," rin blurts, internally screaming at himself to just say it, "i lied, i know i shouldn't have and i'm sorry. but i like you too much, i can't express or understand my feelings, i don't know anything about relationships or love either, and i wanted to hide how i felt so i wouldn't get hurt,"
"rin-," he doesn't let you finish, ignoring your whisper.
"but i don't care, i like you so much that i'm willing to risk hurting myself, anything's worth it if i can be with you, spend time with you, and love you. if it's for you i'd overcome all my fears of love. i can't afford love, but if it's for you i don't care anymore,"
"you're perfect, you always have been," he concludes his speech, almost breathless from how rushed it was. scarlet was dusted all over his face, teal eyes wide open.
that fact rin, someone who's never been good at communication, went this far to express how he feels for you, warms your heart even more.
"rin?"
"yes?"
"may i kiss you?"
somehow, he blushes even more, and as he nods your lips press together.
dates + other headcanons
MOVIE NIGHTS !! not at cinemas though since he prefers the comfort and privacy of his room, and doesn't like how loud or dirty cinemas can get
doesn't want to force you into anything too scary, but he secretly enjoys it when you end up clinging onto him
since he struggles with articulating his emotions, he likes using playlists and songs to (die for you - weeknd, shinunoga iiwa - fujii kaze, love, maybe - melomance, sweet - cigarettes after sex, COME INSIDE OF MY HEART - IV SPADES SUITS HIM SO WELL)
he's not a fan of pda, yet he wants to show you off to everyone he knows
if you genuinely like soccer and have an interest in it (obviously doesn't want to force you to watch 90 minutes of a sport you don't like) he'd watch his favourite games with you, even books tickets for the both of you if there are any good teams competing nearby
also takes great interest in your sports !! reads a lot about them so he can discuss them with you, and if you also compete in sports he puts together a training routine for you and asks to go to the gym together (say yes dumbass)
SURFINGGGG !! since he grew up in kamakura, he loves the beach and went to swim and surf a lot as a kid and would love to do it again with you, even if he hasn't done it in ten years (same rin, same). same with hiking too (kamakura's also famous for it as well)
visits the store with you where he always bought ice blocks with sae, the same lady who worked there when sae and rin still got around is still there, congratulates him for getting a partner, is proud of him
he's a great listener too, he prefers it over speaking a lot and you can talk to him about anything, whether you're talking shit about someone (he'd join in and start swearing) and or you're hyperfixating on your interests
whenever he gets a question related to his love life he takes a moment to blush when he thinks of you, pauses to compose himself (keeps you a secret for your privacy from the media), then says with a straight face that soccer is a priority, but everyone knows he's lying
©kouyun : do not repost, plagiarize, change, or translate
#itoshi rin#itoshi rin x reader#blue lock x you#blue lock x y/n#blue lock x reader#itoshi rin blue lock#fluff#headcanons#blue lock headcanons#blue lock
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Found fictional story/novel
So... I have found a fictional novel that I wrote over the last ten years that I had completely forgotten about, and then, once I found it again, I realised there is so much of it - like 90,000 words much of it - and it is a lot to comb through and I kind of shut down mentally when I found it but I am working more now on updates for the WIPS I have on Tumblr!
So you can Expect updates soon in:
Delirious Villain x hero caretaker,
Heroic betrayal,
Intoxicating fear (updates every Saturday) (from now) :)
Vendetta,
and, A Benignant Mischief
which are all started in the drafts!
Updates continued under cut
(*not necessary* to read as it is mostly rambles and ranting about the novel I found (and others), but I want to share some fun revelations I found while skimming it)
There are some whumpy scenes from the novel that I may post as I find them, cause some of them are very whumpy, and I enjoyed reading them~
The plot has a lot of male characters which is both interesting and annoying— interesting because I love the two brothers dynamic, even not even blood related, like two brothers joined together by fate, blood, prophecy etc. Annoying because it’s obvious that I looked at the media I was surrounded with and was like “nobody wants to read about women, if they did, there would be more women centric things” so I’ll write about boys!
Point 2 Contd. (Rant!) Obviously discounting the genre of YA dystopian fiction which was great, and populated by mainly female protagonists, and which I enjoyed, but then, were shit on by the mainstream media because GIRLS CAN’T FIGHT? Girls can’t be the main driving force of a novel? Girls suck, boo girls, unless they’re tom boys or men. Ahem, thank you for your input on teenage girl’s book choices FORTY YEAR OLD WHITE MEN :D WHERE WOULD WE BE WITHOUT YOU
Part 2+3 contd. (the brightside!) However, the good thing about this is that I can populate the rest of the novel with strong female characters! There are a few dotted through who i dote on a bit, I love them, like come here my little beautiful minority <3
The plot centers around two brothers who get torn apart when outlaw's raid in their coastal village - actually, my newest Medieval WIP was inspired by the novel!! Same setting/vibe (as in the coastal village) so very fun
This to say that actually I think the new Medieval WIP is my brain trying to flesh the world out more and see what the average people would do in the world… but it’s a story in its own right too!
There are magic, gods, good gods and bad gods ofc, ancients, bloodlines, descendants, royalty, soldiers, outlaws, magic schools, political intrigue - like it is a mix of everything I have loved over the years which is so funny to see because clearly I haven't changed...
The dialogue?!?!? I don't think I have written like that ever, but the dialogue is so much better than the dialogue I write today and idk why? Maybe because I wrote it off a sudden throng of inspiration or something? But, fuck, how do I write like that again? I mean, without editing, because the amount of editing I had to do to make the novel READABLE wasn't funny, it took so long... it's finished now though, just the editing, NOTHING else - give me strength, I need it
Also, realised that I hate editing - is it something new? Not really, but holy moly... editing sucks, but it also?? Improves the story and fluidity so much, I should start editing my pieces before I publish and come off as far more eloquent than I do
Planning... is also so difficult - 90% of the novel is like this:
Scene X: completed Me: ah, good, that scene is written, I can move on to the next one Me, still staring at Scene X: ...move on now My brain: but what if it happened like this? PROVIDES SEVEN DIFFERENT ALTERNATE ENDINGS TO THE SCENE THAT WEREN'T NECESSARY AND NOW I HAVE TO CUT SO MUCH CRAP BUT MY BRAIN'S STILL LIKE - BUT WHAT IF?
My brain's literally like the writer's brain from Hush, such a good movie... ANYWAYS!!!!
That's the end of all my ramblings for today, was this post necessary? No, but like, I clearly wanted to get it off my chest and vent so we live, laugh, love... I hope all your days are going well :3
~ Orphan,
(P.S. - I'm toying with the idea of dropping my nickname in the bio, or doing a whole overhaul of the blog - the name, the layout... get rid of orphan, or maybe just become "nickname_the orphan", or something. But, see orphans are just so whumpy though I love a good orphan story... thoughts, ideas, waste management? I'm just dunking all my overflow of thoughts on this update today, but sure, look, be grand — I’m truly sorry if you read this far, I am having an ✨episode✨)
#ANOTHER UPDATE?#yes#oh yes#my brain is full#it is rotting#my brain is my enemy#and I want to eat it#anyways#I need to vent all of this useless information#so I'm sorry if you read this#but it had to happen#updates#orphan speaks#not writing#update post#maybe i should stop making update posts#and start working on my WIPs#but does it happen?#no#But does it happen!#NO!#i need a Femininomenon
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Watch Lady Chatterley's Lover (2022) and then Read...
I absolutely loved Lady Chatterley's Lover (2022). I think it was a triumph of the female gaze, Emma Corrin being the Period Piece Pinch Hitter we all need in a post-Keira world, and fucking in the woods.
To be clear, the book is not a romance. It does not end unhappily (more like "to be continued", without any intention of a continuation and clarification) but it's not a romance. The movie, I would argue... is pretty close to being a romance, or just a romance outright. Joely Richardson looks at the camera and goes "this is a love story", and by God, who am I to question Joely Richardson (who also was Lady Chatterley once). It hits many of the classic notes of a historical romance novel--hardcore fucking and immediately having an existential crisis after, "my god, how could this constant unprotected sex I'm having result in a PREGNANCY???", a douchey rich guy who wants to publish his stupid novella.
After watching it, I wanted to go through my rolodex of books and throw up some recommendations for what to read after watching this movie and getting a bit. Interested.
I tried to focus on a) interclass dynamics or b) illicit affairs. Ideally both, but it's more about the vibe than the readalike nature.
The Leopard Prince by Elizabeth Hoyt. In many ways, a Lady Chatterley vibe without the annoying husband and *with* a murder mystery. Our heroine is a wealthy heiress who travels to an estate she recently inherited on her own, employing an experience steward to help her with the business side of things. And with the business side of things. Elizabeth Hoyt writes some of the best sex in the game, and there's a lot of great class conflict in this one.
Waking Up with the Duke by Lorraine Heath. A Lady Chatterley setup but with less class conflict and more *secrets*. The Duke of Ainsley, genteel and well-mannered, still feels real bad for that time he got into a carriage accident with his best friend, which resulted in said friend's permanent impotency. Friend asks Ainsley to pay him back by fucking his wife, Jayne, in order to ensure that she has the baby she's always wanted. Jayne is like "say what now", because she does in fact hold the accident against Ainsley, and Ainsley is all "I COULD NEVER--but if you're like... insisting..." because of course, he has always carried a torch for Jayne. A month of hot, angsty, "don't kiss me on the mouth" cottage sex ensues, and the emotional fallout for these idiots is MAGNIFICENT.
The Countess by Sophie Jordan. Not out yet, but put this one on your TBR because there is certainly a married lady discovering her sexuality in the arms of another man (wealthy, but of a different social class) around these parts. Out 3/28/23.
Between the Devil and Desire by Lorraine Heath. For the "this coarse man is lighting my ladylike fires" vibe. Our heroine is a recently widowed duchess with a young son, who comes to find out that--what the fuck--her husband left the guardianship of their child to a man she doesn't even fucking know. The hero grew up on the streets and has risen to become a successful club owner, but is still very much lower class. They move in together, and incredible sexual tension and heightened emotions ensue. TW: discussion of childhood sexual abuse.
Dreaming of You by Lisa Kleypas. This might seem a bit left field at first, but I shall recommend it because a) there is a huge emphasis on class in this novel. Sara is not necessarily a hugely upper class lady, but she is a genteel lady, and Derek Craven's awareness of their social differences and his roughness against her softness is a huge part of their conflict in the first half of the book. B) sexual awakening is very emphasized in Sara's journey. C) Sara does have a boring fucking fiance who's like "Sara, it's okay if we aren't that into each other sexually" while Sara, having just gotten her titties sucked at a party, is like "UHHHHHH NO THAT IS NOT OKAY". D) Much like Oliver Mellors, Derek Craven suffers from "is very smart but sometimes we don't know what he's saying" syndrome.
Duchess by Day, Mistress by Night by Stacy Reid. Our heroine is another widowed duchess with a young son--but this time, she's on the hunt for the governess that ditched in a flash. She hires the coarse, lower class but nonetheless successful fixer in town to help her... And his price ends up being a bit more carnal than monetary. VERY illicit affairs dot mp3.
Notorious Pleasures by Elizabeth Hoyt. No class difference here, but we do have a lot of illicit sneaking around when our heroine begins sleeping with her betrothed's roguish brother--who might just fuck the rigid rule following sensibility right out of her.
Her Night with the Duke by Diana Quincy. A widow has a one night stand with a handsome stranger, only to discover that he's courting her stepdaughter. It's messy, it's angsty, it's hot, and I do believe there are some outdoor activities.
#romance novel blogging#lady chatterley's lover#if there are more i think of i'll update it but#go read about people getting sneakily laid#i suspect again the magic can also hit some of these beats but i'm saving that so
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On this new episode of Phantom Ramblings (jokes aside I might actually start to call these as such) I’ll yap about Poto 1925.
I really enjoyed it, the music is sooo good (wasn’t expecting it) and the sets are really beautiful. I was afraid of not liking it because it was a silent movie, but I was wrong.
The actors did a great job, Lon Chaney is a fantastic phantom! I loved how he acted with his whole body and hands, really similar vibes to Leroux!Erik, pretty creepy too. How they did his deformity was perfect, really liked it and the unmasking is great, I like how aggressive he is (not like the novel, but close). Now… His backstory: basically inexistent… He HAD ESCAPED AN ASYLUM! I HATE THAT DETAIL! “Oh, you see this mad brute? He was confined in an asylum for the criminals.” Come on… Shitty backstory… They don’t want us to sympathise with him, so they have cut every info about his life. I really like the mask design, btw.
I’m mad that they whitewashed The Persian (here he is Ledoux), come on! Another really annoying thing is how he doesn’t have any backstory with Erik, ffs… He has been investigating him only for a couple of MONTHS, their relationship is completely absent. At least he exists… I guess…
I really like how close this movie is to the novel, the torture chamber, the death of Philippe, the siren (and actually showing her), the SCORPION AND THE GRASSHOPPER. Really great stuff, but they OBVIOUSLY HAD TO RUIN THE ENDING! Now… I know that it was 1925 and Hollywood (not only) hated having characters that aren’t either completely good or completely bad… What makes Erik’s character really compelling is his redemption, how he was not fully evil… How constant shunning and prejudice from society made him a monster… How, as Leroux himself wrote, if he didn’t look like that he would have been one of the fairest souls and how Erik just wanted to be an ordinary person living a normal life, the novel makes us sympathise with him… Here he is just a deformed madman who killed people, so he gets what he “deserves” and gets beaten to death and thrown into the river by a mob… I really hated the mob chasing him… This ending made me sad ngl…
This ending also makes me think about The penalty (1920) (another movie with Lon Chaney as villain) in which he isn’t truly evil, but a FUCKING CONCUSSION made him like that so the doctor’s brain operation made him good again… The same fucking doctor that cut Blizzard’s legs (Lon Chaney) when it wasn’t needed (ruining the life of a 16 y.o. that was then abandoned by his parents and started living in the streets), because GOD FORBID WE SHUN MEDICAL MALPRACTICE and SHOW HOW THE BAD GUY HAS AN ACTUAL REASON FOR BEING BAD.
I saw someone in the comments of the movie saying that they were glad Christine was actually afraid of the phantom and how the relationship isn’t romanticised, but still having a part that loved him, etc… The thing is… There’s no concept of pity nor love here… She is just afraid (which is understandable)… This ending just feels like an oversimplification and “playing it safe” for both of them. In the novel Christine is the one that wants to sing for Erik before disappearing, here she just wants to go away…
Bye :)
I’ll try to draw his lovely mug and his mask :)
#ramblings#rambles#Phantom Ramblings#poto#phantom of the opera#poto 1925#phantom of the opera 1925#I finally saw this film
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i don't talk about her much, or at least haven't so far, but i feel quite complicated about Marla. it's interesting to me that she occupies this sort of position honestly pretty unique to gay men (a reflection of the biases of the author, i suppose) wherein she is a major part of the narrator's life, and yet there's this great degree of detachment due to the overwhelmingly male focused (gay) perspective of the narrator. everything is Marla's fault and everything is saved because of Marla. she bears this annoying burden of being the primary woman in a very male focused novel from the perspective of a very male focused protagonist. there is a fine line between the misogyny men play with when forcing women to the backseat of their lives, and the natural ignorance evolved from being homosexual. generally, i do think the narrator actually trends toward the second. the novel gives Marla depth that isn't quite there in the movie. the narrator hates her guts more than half the time but also drops most things to check her for tumors and tries to get her out of his insanity once he realizes the situation. like in life, Marla serves as the witness to all of the narrator's (man's) stupid bullshit. as much as she fucks Tyler i don't think there's really any romance between Marla and anyone. maybe not friendship either. the closeness of being human buttwipes together, i guess.
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re-listening to the only film podcast that i listen to’s ep on private eye movies and learning that both altman and the screenwriter of the long goodbye both hated the original book they were adapting…. no offense, i know this is a hornet nest swing and i’ll swing it, but that’s why this movie absolutely blows ass. the long goodbye is a great novel (it’s my favorite marlowe novel but that’s not relevant) and i’m very annoyed with this framing being presented as charming lol. if you find the marlowe books boring don’t make a fucking marlowe movie!
#and before any defenders come to me. the actor sucks too. get off my plane#not my marlowe will never be my marlowe !
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Idk why but I like doing this rn, so uhm- found a new way to spam you too lol
1. "Kris Laila Lynn, I almost like my name:D"
2. "I'm a Scorpio!"
3. "Blade:D"
4. "Uhm, I'm bored ig"
5. "I'm taken, don't try anything bitches😔✋"
6. "Movie? Uhm.. The goldfinch! "
7. "I'm like- 6'2? I think"
8. ":) " my mother wants me dead" by ily, tho it's a techno remix"
9. "Ace, rain and-.. Drawing"
10. "Mhhhh, thinking abt my Au, seeing or hearing anything that Nm does to my boys aaaand, being in this game."
11. "The boys, asylum!sans:D and.... Killing-"
12. "Uh.. Like- idk.. Spaghetti?"
13. "FINN WOLHARD... Sry-"
14. "Uhm.. Like 4 or 5 tattoos and... Over 7 piercings"
15. "Uh, like- idk rly"
16. "Turn off's? Uhm- too many things"
17. "Scary movies"
18. "Computer"
19. "Mh.. Idk rly"
20. "Like 2days ago? Met someone who acted like she was my mom or smt."
21. "I mean yeah, I hate doing it tho"
22. "I speak uhm, German, Spanish and French, and a little bit Russian, but no where near fluid"
23. "Not rly I think"
24. "Like-.. Idk... She-ra or smt"
25. "Am I supposed to think of a question?.. Idk uhm-
What's my fav book? I rly like the novel the goldfinch- cuz it's gay:D and rlyyyy good, I could talk for hours on end abt it!"
Decided that my MTT would answer! :D
Red- Blade
Purple- Ace
Orange- Ted
1. "My full government name's Dust Undertale. But that last bit is- uh.. well.. dead.. so you can call me Ace. Just- Ace."
"I'm Blade!" "Uh... Any other-?" "Blade."
"Ted..." "..."
2. "I'm Aquarius, Blade's Taurus and Ted's Leo."
"Aww! Ace! You remember my birthday?!"
"Shut the fuck up...."
3. Fanon answers:
"KRIS! KRIS IS MY BIGGEST BEST FRIEND-"
"Blade...settle down.. uh..my best friend...? Probably... Lilian......." He seemed bashful admitting it. (Lilian belongs to @0glitched0-1out1 !)
"Chaos. My best friend is one hundred percent Chaos!"
Canon answers:
"Best friend? Uh... Well...you see-"
"He doesn't have a best friend."
"HEY! NOW THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR-!"
"I consider Ted my best friend!"
"... I'm not your friend.. I'm neither of you a friend.... You dirty brother killers..."
"......."
4. "Annoyed, because this questioning has been going on for-"
"I FEEL GREAT!!"
"......tired...."
5. Fanon:
"Taken. My partner is Kris, and he's the best partner I could ever ask for..."
"TAKEN!! TO MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE LILIAN!" (They're not married. He just likes to call her like that. 😔)
"... I'm... single... I'm not currently... interested in a... relationship..."
Canon:
".... relationship status? I'm single currently.."
"SINGLE- But I'm getting bitches!"
"No. You aren't."
"HOW DARE YOU! Yes I am-!"
"Single... I'm not searching for a... relationship..."
6. "I like... Friday the 13th... For some reason...."
"Why that? I think that Halloween's better."
"You know.... I always felt like the movie House Of Wax somehow speaks to me!"
(💀 they have NO idea..)
7. "We're all pretty tall... But those are the effects of- well... Being under Nightmares command... No. I'm not going to clarify what exactly I mean by that, but I'm 6'11"
"Why are your answers always so long? Anyways- I'm 6'8,71!"
"... 9'1,45..."
8. "I relate to.. uh.. Wet by Dazey and the scouts... BUT I LOVE SHOULDER BOULDERS BY S3RL!"
"Of course you do... But I like K. by Cigarettes After Sex"
"..? A song.....? Uh.. I like... Butch 4 butch... By Rio Romeo.."
9. "Horror themed things..., Games and Novels.."
"Blood, my rats (Jeffrey, Bob, Mike 💀), and alcohol!" (He's lying...)
"Flowers, animals and...peace..."
10. "...." Ace refuses to answer...
"=)" Blade seems unwilling to answer too... twitching and holding his knife tightly...
"...My family which I didn't see for too long.... Nightmare... And... being stuck in this realm.."
....
11. "The unstoppable marching of time that'll slowly lead to unexpected death..."
"My caricatures, my 18+ mags, and...death! =)"
"My...family..." (Papyrus...)
12. "Food? I don't eat."
"I like- uh... Pancakes? I guess? Lmao."
"......everything but nothing at the same time......."
13. "OMG- Well, I wouldn't call him a celebrity- BUT CHAOS! HAVE YOU SEEN JUST WHAT THAT GUY ACHIEVED?! HE-"
"I like myself! :)"
"... Celebrity?"
14. "None."
"I wanted to have some! But I didn't do it. :("
"...."
"Ace? Why are you suddenly so qui- wait.... AIN'T NO WAY-"
"... Uh..."
"YOU HAVE A TATTOO?! OR A PIERCING?!"
"... I... don't have a tattoo..."
"...So... A piercing?"
"OMG- YOU HAVE TO SHOW!! SO YOU HAVE SCARS AND A PIERCING?!"
"....not only one..."
"...."
"YOU HAVE MULTIPLE PIERCINGS-?!"
"Cut the camera!"
15. ".... I'd rather not say..."
"Turn-ons..?"
"OH- DO I HAVE A LIST FOR YOU! SO-"
16. "I'm asexual you fucking dick nips-"
"...huh..?"
"Turn-ofs? Uhh... Can't think of any right now!"
17. "Scary movies."
18. "Computer!"
"Anywhere I could watch porn-"
"... Television..."
19. "... What's a perfume?"
(I told you they all smell.. 😔😭)
20. "20 minutes ago! :D"
"... I don't cry much.."
"...."
21. "No."
"Yes-!"
"No. No he doesn't. We all can't really...cook."
22. "Well... I'm Arabic! I can speak English, Arabic and Japanese!"
"I can speak Russian, French, Spanish and Italien."
"...I can speak... German...and Japanese..."
23. "No."
24. "Steven Universe, Big Bang Theory and Red Dwarf!"
"Naruto, Demon Slayer, Komi Can't Communicate!"
"Why that last one?"
".... She's hot-"
"Ew, Blade! SHE'S 17!!"
"NOT MY FAULT THEY MAKE HER LOOK OLDER!!"
"No! You're just gross!"
"... I don't really watch... Tv much..."
(I skipped the last one- since I didn't really know what to add. 💀🙏🏻)
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Star Wars Rewatch: TROS
Oh, God.
Palpatine come back and ruining Anakin Skywalker's redemption. Why? How? Cloning, okay, so this Palpatine isn't the real Palpatine?!
We get to see Supreme Leader Kylo Ren for about 4 minutes before he's immediately benched by Palpatine as co-pilot. Why? I get they didn't want Kylo Ren as the big bad, but this is just lazy writing.
Green goblin, I remember you don't last long.
R2D2, they never wash him or nothing?
Maybe the First Order should win. They take hits and keep on knocking. They take losses and recovered, quickly and well. They always seem to have intelligence from somewhere. In short, they are competent.
Poe and Finn, have a great dynamic.
Rey is finally training for everyone who had a boner for two movies about her having a rocky fight montage.
They moment where Ren is praying over Darth Vader's mask and his mind bridges with Rey is a great reminder that these two are connected.
This film did something most franchise should never, it responded to criticism in real time.
Poe, you fucked up Han's ship. Stop attacking like she doesn't have a reason to be annoyed. Also, Rey is currently the sole Jedi in the galaxy, she should be training, not running off on every errand you have to do.
Colin Travano (whatever his name is) I wouldn't have wanted his script. Like at all. Poe and Rey do have chemistry though and you can tell they enjoy needling one another. It's just not endgame.
That Finnrey hug was awkward. It's a church hug with their butts sticking out. I'm Reylo to the core, but I have place for FinnRey in my heart. They're soulmates in a different way than Reylo is. Also, Daisy Ridley and John B are adorable and you can tell they enjoy working together.
In a flawed film, Rose Tico being sidelined was a wise decision.
Rey, Poe, Finn, Chewie and 3PO are cute. JJ Adams did seem to love friendships developing and for the third film we needed to see all these characters together on an adventure.
Kylo Ren is forging this dumb ass mask again. Look it worked initially, character wise and so forth, but at this point?! He smashed it and moved past the need for it. The audience liked that he smashed it. We have to see his face for emotional scenes. Why is it back? Oh I know! Because JJ Adams good juvenile friend was sad his mask wasn't in the film anymore. General Hux and Kylo are magically little bottle of goodness. We got so little.
We leave one planet for another planet but I keep forgetting what planet we're on. Title cards too much to ask?
Ren is actually pursuing Rey or The Scavenger because yes he wants her for himself. but he also wants to protect her from Palpatine. Their first force bond......... yeah. I've read the novelization so I understand it's been a minute since they've seen one another, but if I just watched the movie would I have known that? No. There is much they saying yet it's stiff and doesn't make much sense without context.
General Pryde. Why did we need him when we have General Hux?
I think Billie D Williams filmed all his scenes sitting down. He looks happy to be there but tired as hell.
Race through the desert of Pasaana. I like it. This crew does work and it feels like a fun adventure. There are cute, whitty moments between all of them and it works.
She heals a snake - Two halves of the dyad should only have been able to heal one another, but here we are.
The Trio and Co find the evil sith ship or whatever. The Knights of Ren gotta walk while Ren is flying. Ren tries to run down Rey, again this make sense in the novelization and not at all in real life. After Rey injures his planes, he crashes and the majestic prince emerges out of the flames. Seriously?! Why the hell are you covering this guy up?!
In a rip off of The Last Jedi we get a tug-o-war scene between the ship Chewie is on. It's not as great, but it's a good scene and we see how Rey's powers have grown. We know it's a waste of time though. They're evenly matched. It's a nice surprise when the lighting shoots out. Okay, I don't mind her being a Palpatine. I mind the retconning. I mind Palpatine magically coming back.
Rey confesses to Finn about her dream of her and Kylo Ren on the Sith Throne. Where? We would have liked to have seen this.
This is a nice FinnRey scene. Despite her display of "dark power", her killing Chewie presumably, Finn doesn't look at her any different. She's still Rey to him. He's patient and present and she describes her challenges. We still don't acknowledge Finn is force sensitive. Why isn't he training with Rey?
We are blazing through this movie. That's part of the problem we're just pushing plot points at this point. The movie needs to be more selective about slowing down and concentrating on character development. Something painfully lacking in this film. Even the Reylo scenes are about pushing the plot forward rather than pushing the characters forward.
3PO actually has a storyline this movie. Good for him. Look secondary characters in a trilogy, you get your moments and it ain't gonna be every film.
Zorri and Babu are nice additions. I like Zorri and the fact that Ren kicking her ass actually made her like her. Women supporting women. Were Zorri and Poe a thing. What's a spice runner? A space drug dealer?
Rey's social skills lack a bit. but she's great with Droids.
Wait, Chewie and Ren were both on Ren's Destroyer and they didn't even have a scene together?! Chewie's like an uncle to Ren.
Ren, show up in your boss ass destroyer to get your girl.
Standout lines -
Poe: 3PO! Move your metal ass.
3PO: How dare you we just met.
Finn, Poe and Chewie cowboying through the destroyer. Nice scene, doomed for failure I'm afraid.
Second Reylo forceskype is exposition. First real Reylo scene is exposition. Hey, movies gotta get it done haha but Ren literally is like here's the plot of the movie and everything you've been confused on up until this point. I will say watching the progression of the force bond that their spaces are now physically bleeding into one another. Nice touch. It's also nice to see what they each see when looking at one another through the force bond.
General Hux is the spy. Could've gone farther with this. RIP Dawg
Another FinnRey scene where you begin to understand Rey is pissed off and darker than possibly Finn thought.
Palpatine and Ren scene. I'm so annoyed Palpatine is in this movie.
We meet a ragtime band on horses surprise their former stormtroopers. All of them. From the same company. Sure Jan.
Seeing the death star again, so odd and doesn't look a thing like the original. We see scavenger Rey again.
Reylo fights again because Rey is the denial queen and she's free to take out her aggression on Ren. He likes feral Rey. In another less PG film, they've fought and then boned, but Leia died. Also, Dark Rey.... I'm here for it. Mostly cause it looks cool.
The film makers did the best they could with Carrie's Fisher passing. I thought they handled it with class and dignity while incorporating it into the film.
After Leia's passing and Rey healing it. Ren in his ever presented conflict nature overlooks the water when his father appears. It's poignant and character driven scene. It's beautiful scene about the enduring love of a parent. A flawed parent but a loving one nonetheless. Ben had two of those and he seems to finally understand that now.
Poe has a good scene with Leia's body about being a leader. Something that, despite all the bravado, he finally admits he doesn't know how to do. This would've been a great scene with her alive. Part of the issue people have the sequel trilogy of the lack of respect paid for previous generations. As if they are flawed and bigoted. On screen and off screen. A scene where Finn, Poe or Rey paid respect for the accomplishments of previous generations. Their courage and their bravery. Billie D. feels like just a stand-in.
Palpatine army blows up yet another planet. yawn.
Finn is a general bestow as such by Poe. Good choice. Sanitation worker aside no one knows more about The First Order than someone who was a stormtrooper. Finn reveals Palpatine wanted Rey alive...... then why tell Ren to kill her? Because if Rey didn't go dark then Ren was the fall back or vice versa?
So far it's not a bad film, just a disappointing film. The stuff that made my blood boil is about to come.
Rey isolates herself on Acht-to, burns the ship and we see ghost Luke. Why? She saw herself on the dark throne and she's afraid of herself. This might have meant something. At one point. It just feels like a retcon at this point. She's a Palpatine but Leia and Luke didn't care? Then what the hell were you worried about Ben for? If blood and legacy means nothing.
I'm not one of those people that need everything in a movie to make sense. It's also a space fantasy film, but damn.
Rey leads the Resistance to Exegol, she just doesn't know it. That was handy. No, really the way the movie sliced that together worked very well. Poe and Finn make a great speech about the resistance. Not as rousing as I'd like.
Exegol being the basis for the Sith religion is actually really cool. Wish we could've learned more. Empress Palpatine sounds like a boss ass name.
I hate everything about the ending of this film.
Rey once again goes into the enemy territory without a plan. The resistance doesn't really have one either except gumption.
Ben Solo is back! He's great. He's a hero. He's got great hair. He's likeable. We haven't seen him for 20 minutes, he doesn't say a word except "Ow" We have a beautiful Reylo moment where we Rey and Ben see each other through the Force Bond and she looks at Ben with such relief, joy and love that he's there with her. Ben fight like hell to get to her. This is it! Bendemption. We've waited three films for this. Then they tossed him off a cliff.
While it's a great scene of Rey listening to the previous Jedi's and rising up. I'm so confused how the dyad coming together empowers the devil. Ben has been made completely irrelevant.
I mean, we got a Reylo Kiss! It was epic and then it was over. We were lucky to get that considering Disney started to shy away from Reylo due to all the "controversy" I just hate this so we'll move on.
The hug was nice!
Rey Skywalker?
And that's that
#reylo#ben solo#star wars#finnrey#rey skywalker#rey star wars#kylo ren#kylo x rey#ben solo deserved better#rey nobody
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tuesday again 12/19/2022
shambling along towards the new year
listening
cotton heads by caravan palace. i think this has been on every spotify wrapped playlist ive ever had. soft and comforting in a way that’s hard for me to describe. this has been part of the background music in some of the softest times of my life, winter-warm and safe and solitary noodling around on some project that involves a lot of fiddling with tiny pieces on a desk. spotify
youtube
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reading
houston thrift stores are, predictably, awash with cowboy western novels. mostly it’s every louis l’amour or zane grey possible (no thanks)
jake logan’s SLOCUM AND THE YELLOWBACK TRAIL is number three hundred and seventy nine in the series, which is quite impressive. i am fascinated when a book attempts to transplant a cowboy into an urban environment so we’ll stick with it for a bit, despite a truly horrible sex scene describing a “rigid pole”. there were no onomatopoeia sex sounds which is both blessing and curse bc the intel SLOCUM gathered during this sex scene seemed like a completely different conversation totally unrelated to the sex he was having. she simply happened to come three times in three pages while telling him everything he needed for Next Location.
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watching
saw several very beautiful movies in the last two weeks, one of which i liked very much.
youtube
Experiment in Terror (1962, dir. Edwards) has one of my favorite Mancini-composed pieces of music but i had never seen the movie it was from. a neo-noir man with an asthmatic rasp puts pressure on a bank teller and her teen sister to rob the bank by terrorizing them through various means. however, despite successfully playing on a lot of Womanly Fears (unexpected phone calls, driving at night, being alone) the fbi. this is perhaps a bit snide since it is extremely good at keeping the tension up through most of the runtime, the leads all did a good job imo— a letterboxed reviewer pointed out the villain played by Ross Martin has a certain chameleon-like quality from scene to scene and it is really arresting, he pops up in some unexpected places to great effect. a well-shot movie, just a hair longer than i wanted it to be, i don’t think any movie could survive the hype i built up in my head after loving than mancini piece so much, and was not quite the vibe i was looking for on the afternoon i finished it.
dailymotion
in a different noir with an important scene during a baseball game, Stray Dog (1949, dir. Kurosawa). everything you could possibly say about this movie has already been said. mifune is such a fucking joy to watch as a somewhat hapless young cop with a bad case of the scruples. gets his fully loaded pistol pickpocketed on the tram, sending him hither and yon during a brutally hot summer tracking down every bullet. widely available for free. fucking beautiful work of art. deeply annoying when widely acclaimed movies are actually really good
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playing
nothing new to report, nothing i want to play has been a free epic game lately. very excited that a character ive been waiting for is dropping in genshin on…uhhhhh…tomorrow? she has sunglasses. she has a gunbrella. she can call in heavy cannon bombardment. she’s just so cute
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making
one of the purposes of the tuesdaypost is to remind myself to expand the selection of things i do and my brain partially feels like sludge bc of the time of year and partially bc i haven’t fucking done anything more complicated than scrambled eggs or cleaning things in like two weeks
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i havent read the books in ages and i never even watched all the movies, but my take on the hunger games as a Phenomenon is that having it spawn so many empty, vapid copycats (like divergent) retroactively made it come across as a lot deeper than it actually ever was.
i do like it and the message its meant to convey, and if nothing else i do think it manages to make that message come across just fine (even if its not particularly explored or nuanced), its just that the writing in the books isnt particularly exceptional. iirc its fairly dry and surface level, and it lets itself get too easily distracted by the romance despite katniss explicitly being supposed to not be someone who gives a shit about any of that. i think i was especially annoyed by that in the third book, but that might also just be because i never particularly liked peeta and having so much of it be about katniss' angst over him felt kinda grating.
all in all, definitely a ya book, definitely more interesting than most other things in its genre that came out during that period of time, definitely not the masterpiece it's sometimes talked up to be
I have a worse opinion of it than you, since I just don't think its messaging even is all that consistent most of the time, but yeah I agree with everything else. people remember it as deeper because it at least tried to have things to say. upon examination, it's just... not all that good. interesting to examine, sure, and once I finish reading the books I'm going to be looking at its cultural phenomenon because that's also fascinating, but the actual quality of the books is not great.
i think what's really knocking me on my ass about this series is that it keeps using an awful lot of very Genre Fiction stuff that is conceptually not all that serious, and then keeps asking me to look at it as a serious work with educational and political merit. i read an interview recently where suzanne collins discussed "writing about war in a way that is accessible to teens," which just feels absurdly jarring in the context of a series where a core premise is that an evil government needs a pair of teenagers to pretend they're in love in order to quell revolutionary stirrings. I'm not saying that ridiculous genre elements and serious topics can't be blended well (I fucking LOVE a lot of stuff that does that) but you can't have what is fundamentally treated as a romance novel plot serve as fuel for a serious story about actual war. there's not even a well-thought out metaphor to make it stick. it just asks me to take it seriously and I can't because it's hilarious.
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heyy!! i hope ur doing okay and don’t worry about writing this fast take ur time love 🩷
could i request a laurel x fem reader smut
they are in a relationship and live together and reader wears short/revealing clothes around the house to tease laurel and it works 🙃
Yess!!!! Here it is!!! I hope you like it, and thanks for your patience!!! :)))))
Thunders and books
Pairing: Marilyn Thornhill/ Laurel Gates x Fem! Reader
Warnings: Smut, strong language
Word count: 2,668
Summary: You are bored, and your girlfriend doesn’t pay attention to you. You think this is gonna change…
N/A: Requests are open!!! Sorry about the delays :( I love you all!!!! I’m always writing!!
Another thunder sounded in the middle of that boring Saturday afternoon. You looked towards the window, where the raindrops collided as if trying to make fun of you. The rain and the storm cut short the plans you had with Laurel, forcing you to stay at home.
Lightning lit the hall of Gates Mansion, and the trees cast ominous shadows on the walls with each flash. It was the perfect environment to read a horror novel, but after 2 hours, you started to get bored. The redhead was also reading, silently next to you. On the one hand it was nice, calm… But on the other it was starting to get tedious. With a tired snort, you closed the book and left it on the table, crossing your arms.
Laurel didn't seem to take much notice of your movement, only glancing over the top of her book briefly.
“Hey, Laurel… aren't you bored?” You asked, lying down on her lap. She just gave you some space, running a gentle hand through your hair. She seemed really focused on her reading.
“Mmm,” she murmured, not looking at you. You smiled, having received an answer.
“It's great that we think the same. We can make popcorn and watch a movie,” you said, enthusiastically.
“Mmm,” she answered again. You took that as a yes and clapped your hands.
“How about “Paranormal activity”? We can do a marathon,” you said, looking for the hard drive where you had the movies.
“Mmm.”
That answer made you stop instantly. She kept reading and didn't show any expression that would tell you that she was paying attention to you. Unfortunately that was something quite common to her.
“I can also go to the bar on Central Street…” You said, feigning naturalness.
“Yeah…” Laurel whispered, making it even more obvious that she wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to you.
“I can flirt with a girl…” You continued, slurring your words. This time there was not even an answer. “Take her to the bathroom... and fuck her against the wall,” you finished, opening your eyes wide.
“Great,” she said, turning a page.
At first it was funny, but you were already starting to get angry.
“Laurel!” You yelled, causing the redhead to jump on the sofa, placing a hand on her chest.
“For God's sake, (Y/N), why did you yell?” She asked, breathing heavily. You ignored her attitude and crossed your arms.
“I was talking to you,” you said, annoyed. She snorted and shook her head.
“What do you want?” she asked, as if you had done the most offense to her.
“I just wanted to propose you... Well, it doesn't matter,” you said, moving your hand with a gesture of indifference.
“You know that when I’m reading I focus on it, (Y/N), it wasn't necessary to be so abrupt,” the redhead protested.
“I know, I know…” You sighed listlessly. She relaxed her expression and put the book down next to her.
“Come on, tell me what you wanted,” she said to you, getting up from the sofa and holding you tenderly by the waist.
You pretended to remain angry, looking away from her.
“It doesn't matter, Laurel, get on with your book,” you said, wriggling out of her grasp. She snorted and ran a hand over the back of her neck, apologetic for her attitude.
“But…”
“No, no, no, no,” you said, waving your arms around. Meanwhile, your mind began to think, and you came up with a fun idea to spend the afternoon, if your plan worked. “I'm going to take a shower, you stay here with your stupid book,” you said, making a gesture of quotes sarcastically.
“Wait, wait, honey. Come on, let me go with you,” she told you, pulling your wrist.
“Ah, no,” you said firmly. “You stay here reading your beloved book while the water falls over my naked body.”
Laurel looked at you with a wicked smile.
“I'm sure you're going to beg me to join you,” she whispered in your ear, making your whole body begin to tremble. You decided to keep your composure. That wasn't exactly your plan.
“Don't be so sure, besides, I'm going to lock the door,” you said mockingly, giving your girlfriend a brief kiss on the lips. Leaving no time for further responses, you walked out of the room, leaving a bewildered Laurel behind.
When you went into the bathroom you kept your word and locked it. The assaults while you were showering were almost a daily thing. While you enjoyed the hot water through your body, you planned the second part of your strategy.
You did not spend much time on the shower. You didn’t want to wait any longer. When you went out to your room, you opened the closet quickly, looking through the drawers. You were very simple when it came to dressing, but deep down you always had something a little more elegant, especially if it was underwear.
You took out a very suggestive red thong and smiled wickedly. It was more of an experiment. You knew that it was very easy for Laurel to escape from reality, but at the same time she had an incredible soft spot for you, especially if you dressed suggestively.
Digging around a little more in the closet, you found what you were looking for. It wasn't a very elegant dress, but it was a very short one, and it showed more skin than anything else you had in your closet.
The fabric was comfortable, but it highlighted very well what you wanted it to highlight. You dried your hair and put on your clothes, allowing even more of the parts that were supposed to be covered to show through. You didn't wear shoes, it seemed absurd to you to suffer from heels for a little game of yours.
You went downstairs trying to make as less noise as possible and peeked into the living room. You were disappointed to see the redhead lying on the sofa taking advantage of your absence.
“Ahem.” You cleared your throat, managing to capture her attention for a moment. “I'm going to make a smoothie, do you want one?” You asked, leaning sexy against the door frame. Laurel looked up from her book and shook her head. You were going to give up, but suddenly her eyes fixed on you again.
“(Y/N)?” She asked looking at you surprised.
“What?” You asked, looking at your nails.
“Are you going to make a smoothie dressed like that?” She asked, amused. You nodded, pretending to be interesting.
“It's comfortable.”
You did not give more time to answer. Moving your hips exaggeratedly you went to the kitchen, looking back from time to time. Usually it didn't take long for her to take hints, but this time she didn't seem to want to.
You huffed and leaned against the counter, looking for something to do while you were waiting. You were about to fail in your task. In the “you vs book” battle, it looked like the book had won. A noise in the living room snapped you out of your thoughts, and you moved quickly to pretend to search for something on the cabinets under the counter.
“Do you want me to help you?” The redhead asked, appearing too quickly.
“I don't know…” You said, crouching down, offering a good view of your underwear as you did so. “Do you want to help me?”
“I think you don't want to make a smoothie, (Y/N),” Laurel told you, standing right behind you, and caressing your leg.
“I thought you were too busy reading,” you said, pulling away from her touch.
“Is that what you wanted? To distract me?” She asked getting dangerously close to you, causing your back to collide with the edge of the counter.
“Me? Don't say nonsense…” You lied, when her arms were placed on both sides, preventing you from escaping.
“It doesn't seem nonsense to me, (Y/N). This is not nonsense,” she said hissing, taking her hand to your butt and pulling gently on your thong.
You stirred, smiling victorious.
“I knew it,” you said excitedly, leaving the redhead with a confused expression. “There is no book that is worth it if I am near,” you said, making a petulant face.
“What?” The redhead asked, trying to figure out what you were up to.
“I have taken you out of your reading. I have won, 1,000 points to me. Well... Shall we watch a movie?” You asked, separating from the counter and walking past her. A strong grip on your arm prevented you from moving another step.
“Where do you think you're going?” She asked, pulling you roughly. “Do you think you're going to provoke me and get off scot-free, silly girl?”
That tone was very familiar to you. She was crazy with desire, you could feel it, and that way of talking was the ultimate proof of it.
“Aww, don't tell me you're angry…” You said mockingly. Her response was a soft slap on your cheek. “Ow!”
“Shut up, you bitch,” She said with a dark voice. A well-timed clap of thunder rumbled the walls. The atmosphere that was forming was very exciting for you.
“Please, mommy, I'll be good,” you said in her ear, making her eyes shine lustfully. You didn't used to call her that way, but when you did it was always worth it. Laurel pouted and pretended to caress you tenderly.
“You are not good, (Y/N). You are a very, very bad girl,” she hissed, reaching under your dress, grabbing the edges of your underwear. “You go around provoking, without thinking that mommy is busy.”
“I'm sorry, I just wanted you to pay attention to me,” you said with a childish tone. She put on a wicked smile and kissed you slowly, grabbing your butt.
“So that was it, (Y/N)? Did you want mommy to pay attention to you?” She asked with that same disturbing tone. “What a sweet thing you are…”
You smiled when you noticed that she began to kiss your neck, with her hands wandering over all the exposed areas of your body.
“Climb upstairs, my love. Mommy is going to give you some of her attention,” she ordered you. You nodded and started to walk, but her hand in your hair stopped you, giving you a strong tug.
“The thong, (Y/N), take it off.”
You hissed in pain from the tug on your hair, but as you could you removed the garment, letting it fall to the ground.
“That's it…good girl,” she whispered in your ear, patting you. “Up, now.”
You almost ran up the stairs, noticing how she followed you slowly, taking the views she had from below.
You got to the bedroom and lay down on the bed. Laurel came in too, laughing at seeing you so needy.
“Did I tell you to lie down?” She asked. “Stand up and lean against the wall.”
You huffed and got up, you were going to obey, but that little protest must have annoyed your lover, as she suddenly pushed you away. Good thing you put your hands before you collide.
“Are you complaining, (Y/N)? I wasn't the one who ran around the house like a whore, trying to get my attention, huh?”
You shook your head while biting your lip. Your girlfriend's dominant attitude was something that drove you crazy, even though you never told anyone about it, just in case.
“Bend down, let me see your needy pussy,” she commanded. You obeyed, noticing how the dress rode up as you did so.
“I think I'm going to enjoy that…” She whispered, running a finger around your slippery center. You couldn't help but moan, earning yourself another small spank. Her hand withdrew from there, and she moved up to your breasts, pulling them out over the dress. “That's it… You look much prettier like this. If you're going to show everything like a whore, do it right at least.”
You nodded and moved, reclaiming the touch you were receiving before. She laughed and played with your sex again.
“So wet…” She hissed, inserting a finger into you, with a slow and painful speed.
“Please, please…” You begged, wanting much more than that.
“Words, honey.”
“Please mommy. I want your fingers inside me…” You said enduring all the excitement that ran through your body.
Without warning you, she obeyed your pleas, with a fast and disorderly rhythm. It was clear she was in a hurry for you to return the favor, and she touched you just where she knew you couldn't resist.
“If you continue like this… I'm gonna… I'm…” You said between moans, causing her to increase the speed even more.
“It's what I want, (Y/N). Finish quickly so you can make mommy happy…” She told you, panting. You closed your eyes, and did not want to wait any longer. Soon your back tensed and you groaned in agony, feeling how your whole body went into slight spasms.
“Very good girl...” Laurel told you triumphantly, slapping one of your pendulous breasts. “Take off your dress.”
You did, trying to catch your breath. Still watching you undress, she did the same, enjoying the lust that your eyes still held. When she didn't have any clothes left, neither did you, she sat on the edge of the bed, spreading her legs apart. That gesture was more than enough to let you know what she wanted and you took several steps towards her. The redhead shook her head and extended a leg towards you, placing a foot on your chest, gently pushing you back.
“No, sweetheart. I don't think I told you that you could walk...” She told you with a soft voice. You bit your lip again and clenched your fists in frustration. You needed to love her, make her to feel pleasure, she had that ability. “Walk, (Y/N), but on all fours. I want to see how obedient you are...”
That was new, she had never asked you, but you were open-minded, and very, very excited. You carefully crouched down, resting your knees on the wood and began to crawl towards her, who separated her legs again.
“Yeah … Good girl,” she told you, as if she was talking to an adorable puppy that had brought her the ball. “Now make mommy enjoy...”
You didn't waste any more time and you threw yourself between her legs, kissing everything that got in your way. A ragged moan tore from Laurel as your tongue made contact with her most sensitive spot. It didn't take long for her hand to be on your head, thus preventing you from having the option of separating from her body.
“You're amazing, (Y/N)…” She said as she moaned. You smiled slightly, but you didn't want to stop. She had been quick with you, and you wanted revenge for it.
“Not so fast, (Y/N), if you don't stop…” She said, beginning to move her body involuntarily. You didn't intend to obey, and you didn't. With a few deft flicks of your tongue, you sent your lover over the edge as you buried your head between her legs.
There was a moment when you could only hear your breathing, trying to return to normal. You were sitting on the floor, but you rose to rest your head in her lap, letting Laurel stroke you gently.
“Honey,” she told you, recovering her normal tone of voice.
“Hmm?”
“I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. Sometimes I take reading too seriously.”
“It's okay, Laurel. I already know you, and I like the way you are…” You whispered, enjoying her caresses.
“I love you, I love you with all my soul, (Y/N) and you know that…”
“You didn't mean it,” you said, imitating her. She always said that when she finished, as if she somehow thought that those insults or that way of treating you, hurt you.
“I just want to make sure you know, darling.”
“I know, Laurel… I know…”
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Huh, the This Land is Our Land graphic novel is on my normal comic pirating site. It's a Jaime Reyes story. I assume there will be immigration themes based on the title
Jaime you live in the DC universe, i hope, aliens have been a known factor for decades (if it's not set in the DC universe it should have established that fact)
like its hard to keep aliens a secret if Earth's being invaded every other week yeah ok. immigration is a major part of the story
damn if only there were superheroes who are billionaires who could do shit about US policies and also house all the homeless with their pocket change
like the richest superheroes in the world do have more money the the USA's entire national budget and could flex if they gave a fuck about poor people don't tell me this is gonna do the bullshit of Jaime being the first Blue Beetle and erase everything great about him being a legacy character… I'd really hate that. Even his fucking movie managed to keep the legacy thing
is that supposed to be Brenda??? Yeah I noticed that Jaime seems kinda pale in this but why is Brenda darker than him??
or maybe it's the more yellow undertones? instead of the more red but still why is Jaime lighter than Brenda? why does Brenda have no freckles?
did we just slap the name Brenda on an entirely new character?
Jaime I know yer a teen and just got singled out by the teacher but pls have a stronger stance against racism aimed at your demographic
I'm not vibing with this comic thus far
Xiomara exists in this timeline but she's …. in the same school as these guys…
no that actually is supposed to be Brenda ok she could be not half white but still a redhead with freckles like yall can put freckles on a browner character
also pls don't tell me part of this story is Jaime feeling responsible for reaching out to a racist white boy to get him to not be racist cause that's annoying but also why couldn't yall have had half-white Brenda arguing with the racist white boy? the white teacher might not have been as quick to shut her down if she wasn't visibly brown and angry and its not like being mixed makes her any less indigenous if she's actually participating in her culture why the fuck does this Jaime keep trying to give this blatently racist kid the benefit of a doubt. I hate this
ok at least Jaime randomly finds Khaji Da in the dirt of a construction site and not like found a meteor with it in it.
true it isnt that hard to trick racists online
just found out that a new chap of Kaiju no. 8 dropped that might finally have the mysterious larva's backstory and i'm more invested in that than this Jaime origin story retelling so
ok back to the Blue Beetle graphic novel that i wasnt enjoying i'm not going to sympathize with white teenagers getting radicalized into being racist pieces of shit.
fuck em just I dont like how much of a benefit of a doubt Jaime keeps giving this racist fuckhead and I will assume the story is gonna try to reach out to and reform the racist and ugh
why does Jaime know so little about racism? Sir, yer Mexican-American and live in Texas how have you not had the racism talk with yer parents? or experienced shit firsthand
huh Jaime finally gets a Khaji Da human sona hallucination
its honestly underwhelming compared to the other Khaji Da human sonas I've seen
shoutout to Dan seeing Khaji Da in his mind as a whole ass bedazzled Pharoah
they should have hired a furry to make an anthro sona design for Khaji Da cause this is not doing it for me
i just dont think i'm the right audience for this comic ok so that's just what the Reach look like in this timeline. It's not hitting. But I see what that person said about in this comic the Reach trying that 'yer the chosen one' shit on Jaime
Khaji Da said wild animals are dangerous and is throwing down with a bobcat and then a random hawk passing overhead
Khaji Da: I'm giving you superstrength but pls practice safe lifting techniques
i cant relate, shooting at white supremacists aiming weapons at yer friend is ok
like yes this Khaji Da is trying to manipulate Jaime into being a Reach puppet but there's legit nothing wrong with shooting white supremacists aiming weapons at yer friend
hell white supremacists are cowards, threaten their lives enough and they'll fucking leave town or shut up with the hate speech
it does sound like we're just erasing the whole Blue Beetle legacy for this even if Jaime found Khaji Da in the dirt
I'm with Brenda use those powers on some white supremacists
ya dont have to kill them, just scare the shit out of them and they will show their selves out
just i dont think i'm the audience for this story
i'm not the kind of bastich that goes for talk a bitch out of being racist stories, I'm a bastich that goes 'ya wanna be racist? die then'
again Jaime get with the program and scare the shit out of some white supremacists
dont be a fucking coward like they targeted yer family my guy
and yet Jaime's bitch ass is still against doing anything even just leaking names of the fucking racists attacking people
this is making me dislike Jaime Reyes yay! Go Brenda
Jaime the white supremacists are gonna do shit regardless and are less likely to do shit if you make them fear for their fucking lives
man I hate this version of Jaime as a person
i have zero sympathy for this white boy. But like of fucking course the actively violent white supremacist would attack an anti-racism protest what fucking world do you live in where that wouldn't be fucking obvious
again i have zero fucking sympathy for this racist white boy who decided to back out of a hate group b/c he's scared for his own safety story, I am not going to fucking sympathize with the racist white boy just cause he got scared and decided to switch sides.
shoulda had some deep insights b4 he started spewing racist shit in class and then joined a fucking hate group
disgusting
yeah i fucking hate this version of Jaime Reyes trying to fucking appeal to the humanity of white supremacists and get them to see the error of their ways? what kind of fucking dangerous ass preschool shit is that?
that is the emptiest fucking threat i've ever seen
again who gives a shit if aliens shoot up some actively physically violent white supremacists that came out to hate crime people?
just this story is way too fucking sympathetic to racists like oh no they chose to be bigots to make themselves feel better the poor babies yeah def no legacy here for the Blue Beetle its just a name that some random kid comes up with ok i finished it went where i thought it would. Very much didn't like this story. It's way too sympathetic to racists and I'm def not the target audience for it
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Considering it has been in the public domain since 1962 (and for longer in the US), anyone and everyone can publish an edition of the Dracula novel. And since everyone is already familiar with it, you really don't have to worry about marketing it.
But also, like...there are HUNDREDS of editions of this book out there. Why would someone buy yours over another one? And also, vampires are cool.
All this taken together leads us to the amazing variation of covers for this book over the last 127 years.
(Some of these may be for strictly digital editions, or fanart. People who upload to Pinterest are garbage at providing accurate descriptions. But they're all going for the same cover-art vibe, so I've included them.)
(Also I tried to avoid comic book / children's illustrated adaptations, only because those aren't literally the same Stoker novel. ...But some of those are fun, so get bent, me.)
This will be more than one post. There are a lot of these. I'll cross-link them when I'm done.
The original 1897 edition, and still probably the best. LOOK at this. Blood red, narrow, imposing font on sickening yellow, the leg of the R dropping below the line as an ominous red fang, pointing to Stoker's name. Golden Age of novels, indeed. Just goddamn perfect. This is going to be hard to top, right out the gate.
Valiant effort. Just the original with roasted edges, with a stock photo of Castle Bran and a giant full moon draped over it. This castle + moon thing comes up a lot.
Also I have no idea what this sequel by "Dacre Stoker" is the hell about. This book is public domain so anyone can publish whatever fanfic / sequels they want about it.
...Dacre Stoker is apparently legit Bram's great-grandnephew, and is a gym teacher from Quebec who used to be an Olympic athlete and coach. Now he just writes or co-writes Dracula books. Good on him, I suppose.
Obviously an edition post the Coppola movie, what with the castle that is very nearly the one from the movie, and the field of impaled people at sunset. It's fine for what it's going for, I guess.
This is the one from the hardback edition I have, in that this is on the dust jacket I threw out because fuck those things. The actual book is black with a simple red title font.
I don't know what the legal status is of whoever using this Boris Vallejo painting for this. I assume they paid to use it. Especially since they edited the expected half-naked lady out of the original:
I love Vallejo, but using a desaturated, censored version of this kick-ass painting? Either use the original and rock the vibe, or fuck off. Lame.
...Blue? Crude sketch of a random castle? White font? I mean I know the text is free so you want to keep production costs low, but this is just lazy crap.
Nice 1960s theater poster vibe with this one. Good work.
When I think Dracula, I don't think "2010s gritty emo reboot of Red Riding Hood." Don't know why anyone would. But I'm sure the original emo / goth PC wallpaper you stole from 2006 made someone's Evangelical coworker slightly annoyed.
Simple, artful, story-relevant. Font is going a bit too hard with the Steampunk signage thing, but it's inoffensive.
This is...a choice. I mean, this IS a scene from the book, and the art is okay. Just a weird choice for the cover, especially with the obviously lazy lasso tool selection and cropping. This doesn't really represent the overall tone of the novel, which is not about old men being irritated. I guess it is certainly distinctive...?
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I’ve started watching The Artful Dodger and loving it, it’s far better than Bridgerton at actually capturing the essence of a romance novel (my first thought upon seeing Jack and Belle interact was that it could’ve been ripped straight from a romance novel). Do you have any recs for tv shows or movies that have the vibes of a romance novel?
Ooh yes!
Oldie but a goodie and if anyone hasn't seen it they should (and really, the whole trilogy--the second movie gets a bad rap, but I personally so enjoy it, and I love the third movie for a lot of reasons but the "REIGNITE. OUR. LOVE." sequence is absolutely one of them, the "we are gonna FUCK THIS SHIT OUT" vibes are sooo romance novel for me). Bridget Jones's Diary. Mark Darcy is just an amazing hero. Bridget is a legend. Hugh Grant as Daniel Cleaver is PEAK Hugh Grant, and his introduction in that film is one of the greatest character intros I have ever. Seen in cinema. I see some people knock on it because of things that have aged--Bridget worrying over her weight because it's the early 2000s and super skinny was the trend, the workplace harassment. I don't give a fuck. If you haven't seen Bridget Jones's Diary, you are doing yourself a disservice.
(It is based on a book, but that book is not a romance novel. The movies are.)
Ummm speaking of Hugh Grant, Music & Lyrics is an underrated BANGER and absolutely fucking reads as a romance novel. A washed up has-been pop star begins a creative partnership with the messy neurotic woman who waters his plants? He does a flop attempt at defending her honor to do the guy who did her wrong. There's a grand gesture/grovel moment ffs. It's GREAT. The music is AMAZING. POP! Goes My Heart!
This one is borderline because it is more of a girls trip comedy, but the romance is truly centered so well and is a swoony romance and it features peak Richard Madden and it is again, so underrated. Netflix's Ibiza, dude. Buttoned up marketing girl goes on a business trip to Spain, her two best friends (who are both much wilder than her) accompany her and they go to the club one night and see DJ Richard Madden (LEOOOOO WESSSSST) and he and the main girl have this amazing meet cute that involves someone drawing a dick on her face in glow in the dark marker and him coming to the rescue, but then he has to go to a gig in Ibiza and she and her friends decide to track him down because some people are destined to go to the moon, but her destiny is to FUCK. THAT. DJ. But Harper and Leo's connection is more like love at first sight than pure horniness? I just miss movies that like, unabashedly capture zany happiness and the flutters of first love (and the sex scene is so good???). This movie is amazing and I adore it.
Bros. Look dude. I know Billy Eichner fucked up the marketing for this one. I know he's annoying as hell. Bros is objectively a romance novel movie lol. It's not as inclusive as it could/should be, I will agree with that always--but the romance arc is so good, and it is legit funny, and it has a FAILED GROVEL which we all know is one of my favorite things. And I do think it has a deeply true heart and soul and is really amazing.
Brown Sugar. PEAK Taye Diggs and Sanaa Lathan. It's a slow burn friends to lovers movie in which there is sooooo much sexual tension and so much angst and so much follow the fuck through. Also, Taye Diggs has one of the most magnificent line deliveries of all time with "riCHARD LAWson".
Imagine Me and You. The sapphic romcom we deserve. A bride falls in love at first sight with hot florist Lena Headey while walking down the aisle to marry her groom, as you do. What follows is a woman desperately trying not to cheat on her husband while experiencing extreme sexual tension with Lena Headey. Surprisingly soft and super romantic.
Lady Chatterley's Lover (2022). Required viewing for historical romance novel fans. Obviously based on a book, but again, that book is not a romance lol. The movie is. And it's one of the hottest movies in recent memory. Jack and Emma did the WORK. The kiss right before he goes down on her is maybe my favorite movie kiss of all time.
Obviously. Pride and Prejudice (2005). I shouldn't have to include this, but to be fucking clear lol. I will always maintain that while P&P (the novel) is a predecessor and a shaper of romance novels, it is not a romance novel. It is a contemporary novel with a lot of social commentary and a good love story. This movie? Makes it a full, sweeping romance with some of the best tension ever committed to screen.
Faraway. Omg, an amazing slept-on movie that is a rare romcom featuring a middle-aged woman! Basically, right when her mom dies she finds out her husband is having at min an emotional affair with his younger employee, and she also discovers her mom had a secret property on a Croatian island. She goes there, and is immediately courted by this younger real estate developer guy, but why is she constantly butting heads with the gruff guy who's been living in her mom's house????
Far and Away. Hate to recommend a Tom Cruise film, BUT it is is very romance novel, and it does star Nicole Kidman as well, and I hate to say it but those two did have bomb chemistry when they were married. The Irish accents are rough, but the plot is delightful because he's a poor guy who ends up getting roped into her scheme to leave for America (after his harebrained revenge scheme against her dad fails lol) and they live in a boarding house together pretending to be brother and sister... But like, everyone can tell they aren't because of their extremely obvious sexual tension lol.
When Harry Met Sally. Cliche, but it is a classic every romance lover should see. I'm not a big Billy Crystal fan, but his chemistry with Meg Ryan is MAGIC in this, and you really do get the sense of two people slooowly falling in love without even realizing it until suddenly they do all at once.
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