#the non-astrology guy talking to the astrology girl
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den1als · 2 months ago
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⠂ ⠀ CASE STATUS : closed , @clandestone | for matilda . ⠂ ⠀ LOCATION : red creek library .
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⠀⠀ roman casually fails to normally approach the archivist ; mind swears he's being discreet enough yet his long , almost theatrical strides make him stand out like a baby giraffe learning how to walk all over again . it didn't help that his face was stuffed in a book he just randomly picked up , face covered as if he was trying to hide from matilda . in a way , he was . he wasn't a huge believer of that witchcraft stuff she dabbles in , but after hearing some comments from his students recently , he needed to know what the real professional thought . ❝ okay ! i'll bite , ❞ roman announces , placing the book gently on the counter , back hunched as he leaned over the surface to fondly grin at matilda . ❝ what do you think about scorpios ? like ... what's the world thinking of us ? ❞ him . he meant himself but this was already embarrassing enough . ❝ one of my students said i was being one and half of the room groaned . are we that bad ? ❞
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astrologydayz · 11 months ago
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ASTROLOGY FUCKING NOTES4
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If you're into past lives with other people = go 2 both of your "Desc. Lunar Node persona charts", &save them to make a synastry chart! It tells/shows u about your past life together - IF u had one, ofc - what occurred between u/what u guys went through/what u were 2each other, if u "owe"/or is "owed" something, then what & why, how u felt about each other, etc. it gives u WAAAY more details about your past life together, than a normal synastry chart does. 
GO SEE If there's a name asteroid with your child's name = go look at that name persona chart, &I promise you that you will be amazed. Nothing is ever accidental baby.
Look at your Eros persona chart2 see what your sexual desires/fantasies exactly are - in details/how forward - or not, you are when it comes to your desires, sex/sexual things in general. It also shows u how you express your "sexual side"/what kind of people you're sexually attracted2/turn ons in details. 
Your Fama persona chart - 408 tells u about what other people gossip/talk about, when it comes2 u - also rumours/what u gossip about 2 others/if you're famous - then4what
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I'M TALKING ABOUT ROMANTIC/SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS👇🏽 A SYNASTRY CHART tells u how u how u guys "respond" 2 one another! Like what u think about each other, how u feel about each other, how u communicate, what u desire/love about each other, family influences/outside influences, what "differences" u have, what "issues"/challenges u have with each other etc.🏃💜 A COMPOSITE CHART literally shows us how u guys relationship dynamic is, how u communicate as a couple/show love, your sexual dynamic, "challenges as a couple", how "content" you guys are in your relationship basically&your "reputation together"/outside influences etc. It also shows what your relationship's "endgame" is ⛓❤️🔥.
A DAVISON CHART gives us a different perspective on your relationship& shows opportunities along the way4u guys as a couple, that a composite chart won't show🫵🫶. This chart chart also gives us an exact time&date + retrograde planets that isn't shown in your composite chart = provides us with "new insight" on the relationship! TAKE NOTE OF THAT DATE BTW💋.
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People with Saturn conjunct/trine Amor asteroid - 1221 usually only fuck with long ass relationships - not so much one nightstands. They want that stable&secure love - they don't fuck around just 2 fuck around. They're also in love with themselves, most of the time - in a good way!!! They're confident, &secure in who they are/in what they seek. They also know what they bring 2the table in a connection, so if somebody doesn't find it enough/or doesn't appreciate it?? They're out.
Someone with Amor asteroid - 1221 conjunct their 2nd house = quality, quality, quality. Quality is really the number 1 thing they always seek/want in life. They would rather not buy/have/eat anything than buy/have/eat something that's not good enough quality.
Venus conjunct/trine/quintile Mars people are typically the ones everyone almost always finds attractive - they fit the usual "pretty boy/pretty girl standards".
Venus conjunct/square/quincunx Pluto can get stalked/harassed pretty often by their love interests/old love interests, or by people they don't even really "notice". Sun conjunct 11th house can show up as having many male friends, or many male followers/fans in rl/online.
Venus conjunct/square/quincunx Uranus are the ones seeing somebody online, &be infatuated/"in love" after seeing one pic/video. They fall in love pretty fast in rl2, but typically ends up getting the ick real quick - when the other one goes all in, at last. They can change their minds pretty often when it comes to love/love interests, as they really don't wanna end up "missing something". Can be seen as "flighty"/non committal.
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Mera asteroid - 3553 "Purity being taken, or purity given away" - can show cheating in a synastry chart - "Mera" person is the one breaking the bond by being unfaithful - "purity given away", probably "shouldn't have done it". "Mera" can also show up as "corruption" - the other person taking the "Mera" person's "purity" away.
Galatea asteroid - 74 in synastry can show love triangles. It's really no joke. The "Galatea" person is the one bringing the 3rd party, &the drama in.
Moon conjunct/opposite Sado asteroid - 118230 in synastry shows up as Sado person getting a kick out of humiliating/embarrassing Moon - In private, &in public, doesn't matter. In short words, Sado is SADISTIC AF towards Moon - making fun of their emotions - making fun of them crying/making them cry/hurt on purpose, them "playing games" with Moon person's emotions, Sado degrades, &taunts Moon. Moon feels very belittled, small, & very non existing here. The opposition will cause Moon 2 talk back sometimes/not take it as often as the conjunction would. The opposition can also show that it happens in periods, like it's on & off with Sado being a dick towards moon - where the conjunction will cause Sado2always be like that.
Isolda asteroid - 211 can also show up as cheating - Isolda typically shows up in a synastry chart between the cheater, & the 3rd party. "Love at 1st sight", "loyalty forgotten", "new love", "off the charts infatuation".
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THANKS4READING LOVE
I APPRECIATE U💋
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asshole-rebel-psycho · 5 months ago
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The older I get the more I realize these things about dating.
I have been trying to have deep connections and stimulating conversations for some time.
This doesn't seem to work. Especially on dating apps for I guess obvious reasons.
But as an observant, shy, lonely and somewhat intelligent person ( who happens to be gay) I have unfortunately never found love or relationships myself.. I have only seen it through other people
It's pretty apparent that dating is for simple people. I don't mean this in an arrogant way but a majority of individuals seem to not take the question asking part of dating seriously. Idk if this is due to them not being attracted, busy, simple minded or a more narcissistic culture but it is apparent to me that the closer these people are to my location, the less they are willing to learn more about me.
I wonder why that is? 🤔 I've had plenty of engaging online, non dating app conversations with people all over the world.
So part of me thinks that this is due to our new emotionless, soulless culture. Because this problem only exists when I engage with potential matches that can turn into reality.
The need for connection is still there. Fear is holding us back.
Why are people so afraid of reality? What are they running from? Themselves? Other people? Is the world in such a bad place right now that we feel like if we make a connection we know it will probably end up broken like the society we live in? 💔
The more I observe dating and other people's love lives the more it is apparent to me that deep, intellectual, stimulating conversations are not a part of the game AT ALL.
( take it as a grain of salt but from my observations dating goes like this)
One, attraction is the 1# thing! Because if you don't have it there is no fuel to get anything going. The car won't even get out of the lot. Especially off apps.
Secondly, the man usually takes action by getting the girl on the date as fast as possible..he has to woo her by showing her a fun, spontaneous, adventurous, humorous, and flirtatious time.
It is usually filled with banter, funny nostalgic stories, flirting and none of that would even matter if the two ( especially the man who usually carries the convo) was not attracted.
You can seriously make anything work with mutual sexual attraction. I've seen two plain and boring people talk for hours about nothing but because they had those saucer eyes for eachother it just worked! They definitely don't talk about work or deep concepts.
So the man drains his ( or if hes in his 20s) his daddy's resources on the girl to have a "fun" time..meanwhile his sexual motivation is keeping it going because she obviously has many other options.
The girl then looks pretty and vets if he is worthy for a LTR.
If so, she gets brought into this new, advantageous, silly, successful man's life and uses him as a tool to get away from her boring and domesticated life. She uses him for fun, community, hobbies and eventually family.
She uses his resources as a way to post on tiktok, fb and ig to show off to all of her friends " look at the amazing, good looking and successful guy I am able to get" mostly to show status as a woman and to make her friends jealous..because they were mean to her in the past.
None of her *connection* to her man has pretty much anything to do with conversation. ( sounds harsh I know but hear me out)
If you doubt this why do men and women immediately separate at Christmas parties and work events?
Have you ever observed a straight guy talking to a straight girl before? At any age?
It's usually a girl talking with her friends about things that doesn't interest him and his eyes roll over astrology and the girl eye rolling about video games or sports banter. Exc...
It's pretty obvious how for 95% of the population..male and female worlds have NOTHING to do with eachother. And want NOTHING to do with eachother except for what each gender lacks...
Emotional support from the woman and financial stability from the man. What binds them is sex and what keeps them together is family.
This is why my nerdy lesbian ass has such a hard time with dating. Lol
In the typical female way I am relying too much on talking, not much action. And in a very unfair lesbian way I can't seem to find my opposite.
I am trying to find an intellectual match when I should just be finding my feminine opposite. I'm treating dating like lunch dates with friends, Like men discussing politics on the Titanic while smoking cigars.
Unless I want to talk to a mirror long conversation isn't the way to go.
Because it never was to begin with. This is the code I finally cracked. Lol 😆
I'll leave the cerebral banter and philosophical insights to the lonely, individualistic writer side of me..the side of many great minds in history...But even a great writer will drop his work like a hot potato as soon as he finds a woman he is undeniably in love with. 🥰
My point is to find my opposite not my reflection. And my opposite might surprise me with what they can give or know...even if it's not deep or extremely interesting to me. This goes for any gender. Love doesn't work that way.
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babyspacekwid · 1 year ago
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Astrology Observations and Advice ✨ (TW talks of ED)
From a non professional astrologer who has no idea wtf she’s posting half the time 💕
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Chiron 4th house in Capricorn, Your dad may be very hard on you, like a perfectionist dad. Could have also been abusive. Could be the type to comment on your shortcomings. Remember that you are enough as it is, don’t be so hard on yourself, treat yourself as you would a friend. With compassion and kindness. Its okay to make mistakes in life. It’s common to have daddy issues with this placement, so try not to let that affect your love life, this is a personal placement of mine😜 rlly into toxic men, but they ain’t good for me, so let us be aware of that. Don’t take life too seriously, do the serious shit without being too serious about it. Idk if that makes sense but for example, let’s say u got a math test, do the math test seriously, like study and shit but don’t let the stress of it consume you because it rlly ain’t that serious.
Aries moon, especially men y’all’s temper is unregulated af. Ive seen y’all snap at stuff that energy shouldn’t be wasted on, y’all are one of the most emotionally reactive signs I have ever met. Like a ticking time bomb. This moon sign might have experienced a mother figure that was harsh and emotionally neglectful. Very hard on you, wasn’t that nurturing when raising you. The type of mom to tell you to get up and wipe the dust off when you fall and scrape your knee as a kid. y’all gotta delve into those emotions in a healthier manner. Therapy and journaling could be very beneficial. Go to one of those rage rooms where ppl break shit, I feel like y’all would go all out. There’s definitely some pent up anger. This goes for Scorpio moons too, y’all is more internal though, got some deep dark thoughts and intense internal feelings that could easily overwhelm which is why downtime is needed.
Speaking of some Scorpio moons I have met, don’t let your trust issues fuck things up. This a hard placement, y’all feel things so deeply, but just cause one person backstabbed you don’t mean everyone will. Open up to people, trial and error and you’ll find that person. Obviously set boundaries and don’t just trauma dump on everyone you meet, but don’t build an invisible wall as soon as you meet someone. Not everyone is out to get you.
(TW) Taurus risings I’ve met have dealt with some type of eating disorder. Could have had family members or people comment on their weight as a child or just got rlly influenced by the negative parts of social media. Every taurus rising I’ve met has dealt with body issues, y’all are actually so beautiful though, and I’m sorry you don’t hear it often,no matter the size. You guys are also so photogenic, like maybe I’m just the type of person that sees human beings as cute in general but istg y’all could be making the ugliest of faces and I’d still think it’s charming 😭 my best advice would be to stop comparing yourselves, and to learn unconditional love towards your body at every stage it’s at. We’re gonna be 60 and wrinkly anyways, might as well enjoy what it can do for you now!
I have this friend who’s a Capricorn sun and moon, and as a Gemini sun and moon myself I feel so similar to her in like every aspect. Idk if it’s because we’re both born on a new moon, but anyways, this girl needs to learn to open up😭 like hun I wanna be your shoulder to cry on, don’t get me wrong she will vent, and spill the tea, but when the waterworks come out she’d rather isolate. I’m just like naurrrrrr, come back. I might not be comfortable with tears and shit but il awkwardly pat your back and listen to you. Either way y’all don’t be afraid to be vulnerable, you aren’t a burden and you can’t deal with it yourself. Stop trynna convince yourself that you can. Humans are social creatures and our primal instinct is to receive and give love. M
ANYWHOOOO y’all I rlly ain’t that knowledgeable about this shit, I’m rlly going off my friend’s placements (and mine). I am studying astrology tho so maybe one day 🤠 but I got the memory of a goldfish so it might take a while, I appreciate everyone who’s been liking my posts though THANK YOU💕💕💕💕
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venuscnjunctpluto · 2 years ago
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Astrology Observation pt. 2
(Thank y’all for all the support on my first one❤️🙌🏾)
*as a sag Venus sag mars pls stop asking me why I’m laughing…I’m not laughing at YOU I’m just insane😝
*moon in the 1st synastry is so therapeutic you just feel really comfortable opening up to the 1st house person and as the 1st house person I feel honored someone trusts me enough to share their feelings🫶🏾
*people w aqua and libra in their big three are the chillest mfs you’ll ever meet. Even though I’m very chaotic anytime someone describes me “chill” just seems to be thrown in there. We space out ALOT and it’s honestly embarrassing😭 Ex: Alicia keys, lil Wayne, Harry styles, Rosalia. Harry gives such himbo energy in interviews and they drag him for it in the comments but he’s probably just thinking about multiple things at once. Alicia keys didn’t even realize lil mama was on that stage and went on performing lol. Obviously lil Wayne smokes but something about his energy…he’s on cloud 9. And just go watch Rosalia’s chicken shop episode💕😂.
*honestly Aries mars aren’t that bad when it comes to temper because usually they find ways to manage it. Now mars-Uranus aspects is a completely different story. I have late mars-Uranus and it takes me a while to get mad but when I do I can’t even think anymore. My old roomie had a tight square and she would blow up on people for no actual reason like girl sit down😭
*something about Scorpio mars men is just😮‍💨 they have such a sneaky energy to them that makes them stand out. Virgo mars are fine too they’re just so skinny and no matter wtf they do they’re always nerdy ugh (ex: Matthew gray gubler, Lucky daye, Dylan O’Brien, Jeff Buckley)
*i noticed Aries moon don’t really get along w each other. They find their own energy to be too mf much (which it can be) so they prefer being around more calmer people *coughs* libra moons like me. They wanna be bouncing off the walls 🤪 while their friend is just like 🙂.
* fire risings do a lot of things fast. As an Aries rising, I walk fast, get happy fast, eat fast, workout fast. My cousin is complaining her sag rising toddler eats and drinks way too fast.
*venus in 11th…how many tiktok drafts do y’all got😭
*i talked to this guy who had similar placements as me (Venus in 8th and moon in 6th plus Aquarius and Aries placements) It was so chaotic it was literally us going back and forth obsessing over eachother while trying to keep it lowkey. But also the amount of anxiety we are naturally incline to have made the whole situation too mf much.
*i have mercury conjunct my friends mars and for years she tells me the things I say can take people there and make them wanna fight me. It’s in Capricorn and so I was confused before I knew we had that aspect
* i noticed rappers whose lines always stick out to me have Gemini mars or mercury- mars (central cee, king von, tupac, kendrick , j. cole)
*i was talking to this guy and I had Venus and mars plus pluto in his 4th house. Months after we stopped talking our friend groups meshed and he would tell me non-stop I reminded him of his mother. He said she was the same height as me and y’all I was scared to ask what she looked like cause 😫 y’all remember that episode of family guy when Chris dated that girl that looked like Lois yep 4th house synastry.
*im a true crime whore and two women who killed their bfs had sun-Uranus aspects. Their energy was erratic and very off putting in videos. I can’t remember the other one but Courtney tailor/clenney was one.
* More spilling my business on the Internet😍 i think I’m done entertaining people my age. Pluto in the 8th, Lilith in 1st, and Venus conjunct Pluto synastry has been hell. Where’s my sugar daddy/mama?? It’s ghetto out here
*gemini Lilith generation whose a year younger than me is nasty asf😭 esp the tauruses they have their Lilith conjunct their Gemini Venus and opposite their Pluto. One said he had a slept w two girls at separate times. He didn’t know they met until the girls posted a selfie together and tagged him. They later told him they wanted a threesome and he did it😭 knowing astrology I believed every word
* sidebar Neptune-asc people and trying to give off innocent vibes ugh annoying asf to me. I can see right through their bs but they’re able to fool most people.
* mercury-Pluto aspects are in fact LIARS and throw a Scorpio placement in there😮‍💨
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stillaclownlol · 1 year ago
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Lgbtqia+ hcs because I don't know if I'm gonna make it till June lmao (or, if I'm gonna live after it since I'm planning on wearing my flags In public 🤡)
Tw for csa mentions (because why don't I keep projecting huh)
Ashlyn Banner
-She/Her but in a "never thought about pronouns her entire life" kinda way. Doesn't mind they/them. She likes dressing masc/feeling masc, but doesn't really like being "perceived" as masc. Like...masc on her own time lmao. (I'm projecting so hard rn). "Gender neutral" kinda- like agender- but like in a "I don't care about my gender at all I just am more used to the gender they assigned me at birth"
-Demi rose 🌹 I'm also projecting here. Takes her a while to come into her feelings, but maybe that's the "never had friends ever" coming through.
Aiden Clark
-he/him but like he won't care if you use smth else for him lol. Cis gnc kinda guy eyyyyy (better in heels than ashlyn)
-unlabeled and that's how he likes it, nobody's business who he likes kissing lol. I feel like he's kissed a guy before just to try it. On the aro-allo spectrum ngl.
Ben Clark
-He/Him, is fine with They/Them. Honestly likes getting called She/Her too but she's been pretty shy about mentioning it :") Taylor likes doing her makeup if they're having a "femme-day". Settled on genderfluid/genderflux after a while.
-Greyromantic Caedsexual (Ace). Shane was part of a group of slightly older kids, and when he was getting bullied Shane and some other kids sexually assaulted him multiple times...technically was a queer assault since Ben was seen as a sissy because his personality and hobbies were "feminine", and this was to goad him into having a physical reaction :/
Taylor Hernández
(Ngl I'm so annoyed there's not more colors but whatever)
-She/Her and They/Them, identified as cis for a long time since it was what they knew, but once she learned more about it she experimented with her gender a lot more, they identified as non-binary for a while before moving to paragirl.
-Pan to aro/ace pipeline because I'm projecting :) she didn't really handle it well at the beginning, but Ben, Ash and Aiden are all also a-spec so she had a lot of support ^_^ They felt "invalid" because of the csa they went through when they were younger and they thought it was more like a trauma response than their actual sexuality. After talking with Ben about it tho she understood that even if they were related that didn't make her any less valid.
Tyler Hernández
-He/Him cis guy I'm sorry/lh
-was kinda annoying about queer people because actually being raised as a Catholic Mexican boy makes you kinda weird (IM SORRY THIS IS JUST FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE) BUT he gets better I promise
-Bisexual boyfailure and took him crushing on Logan to accept it 🤡
Logan Fields
-He/Him and a bit of a stickler about it because he gets misgendered rather frequently (less as he got older but still), doesn't mind getting called gendered terms tho (Taylor calls him "sis", and he calls himself an "Astrology girl")
-intersex, found out when he was 15ish since his puberty had been delayed, and he's really insecure about it...🙃 he was assigned male at birth so he wouldn't say he's trans, but his experiences overlap a fair bit. Takes testorone and medication because he has low electrolytes. I could write a whole essay here but I have to go soon 😭
-Gay :> He realized pretty quickly but he's intensely scared of people finding out, has only told his grandparents. They took it very well ^_^ His grandpa has some gay friends so sometimes Logan goes to the senior center to talk with them about stuff :)
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fitzrove · 3 months ago
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Ajkdlsld nobody asked for this extremely long misogyny rant but
😭😭 why is society so shit w rampant misogyny everywhere (most painfully, from other women) skkslsls. Reading the replies on that makeup post i reblogged and being chronically online in general is pissing me off lmao
Disclaimer: lol obviously this is all intersectional, like there are lots of ways in which I am extremely privileged (white/European/from a stereotypically desirable "educated, trustworthy, well-behaved, high tech" country/cisgender/able-bodied/neurotypical/privileged economic class etc etc). Doesn't mean the points outlined below don't apply to many women in relation to men who are in their otherwise same demographic
Things that I like about being a woman:
- my body (well don't always like it but don't want to change anything djkdkdj)
- being a lesbian
- being friends with other women (is easier) & not perceived as threatening by them in random interactions
- feeling "special" in some situations where i'm trailblazing or achieving something in a guy-dominated space, especially when other people point that out
- most interests i have/could think of having have no stigma attached to them that would make it difficult for me to pursue them. also corsets and ballgowns etc femme goth fashion pieces being societally 100% acceptable for me to wear in some situations and not even fringe
Things I don't like about being a woman:
- sexual harassment
- being talked over
- wage and employment discrimination
- basic misogyny shit like being expected to have children and take responsibility for all the people around you
- violent heteronormativity (obviously still hurts non straight men but hurts women more because the world feels so entitled to our bodies)
- having to worry about straight guy friends and acquaintances (esp classmates)' intentions (sadly its not stigmatised enough for people to be pushy w women so i get scared pre-emptively :/)
- SOCIETAL EXPECTATIONS FOR APPEARANCE AND COERCIVELY ENFORCED GENDER CONFORMING FEMININITY GRAAHHHHH going to kill every fashion beauty health etc company :) i don't care if doing it makes you personally happier or more confident you know where else conformity makes you powerful? politically oppressive dictatorships<3
- women friends (classmates) whose idea of girl talk is to alternately complain about and fawn over men through a sexual/romantic lens and evaluate them as potential partners, and who take my refusal to participate in this as personal rejection/rudeness and pull away from me as a friend because of it
- existence being political 24/7. no i cant ignore that its just always there
- dating (thats shit for everyone but there are specific annoying lesbian dating experiences such as: MEN EVERYWHERE not just unicorn seeker couples but he/him guys on women's apps, astrology truthers, people with bad haircuts HDJJDJD sorry i'm so mean i just hate the "berlin fringe" soooo much, etc.) and the chance that people you meet won't even take dating you seriously because society prioritises f/m so hard. its messed up because it presupposes unequal division of labour but i wish i could be like an esteemed jrr tolkien type 1950s professor and just be super in love with my wife with whom i'm settled down somewhere picturesque. But I don't think you can get a relationship like that as a queer woman because 1) obviously equality lol idk who even wants that and is not a tradwife 😭💀 2) most women who would like that probably don't think a female partner can give them that :/. Girlies literally be yearning for the masculine societal role because of the associated privileges
- Men being inherently perceived as "good guys" "chill" etc. in mixed academic/professional environments and always taken seriously intellectually, women seen in a more patronizing way/easily perceived as hysterical/a bitch/deficient in some other way
- men being praised to high heavens for doing the bare minimum vs women being always expected to be outstanding people by default
- pick me girl/not like other girls/etc discourse. This keeps happening and nobody ever learns that its dumb 😭
- men being seen as better deeper artists and male historical figures/intellectuals holding universal appeal whereas women rarely got to do anything interesting OR if they did they always get diminished and ignored (largely because media doesn't pick up these stories to highlight). none of you would care about crown prince rudolf if she had been a girl irl and i wouldn't either because often w female historical figures we're expected to care first and foremost about their romantic relationships with men💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 if girls have thoughts about foreign policy 1) they usually couldnt voice them before like 1900s 2) their entire existence and life story from cleopatra to margaret thatcher (yeah evil person but still) is tinged by misogyny from all sides (opponents, allies) which makes for pretty unappealing Content to engage with
- periods LMAO
- strangers feeling entitled to bump into me and get in my personal space (public transport etc)
- the way some feminist activism treats women as a monolith. like all that discourse about how society is not built for women's tiny fragile bodies. Like yeah important point ofc but I fucking hate being erased from existence as a tall woman. you bet if this was being done to short men there would be outcry
- in general people feeling entitled to me and receiving help and advice from me without giving anything in return. sorry i feel like this is just turning into a vaguepost abt classmates
- online queer discourse where there seems to be not a lot of space for this line of thinking that I have?? This is NOT intended as transphobic or even directed at trans people (rather the general community), but sometimes i feel like only trans people are ""entitled"" to hate their pre-transition assigned social role and everyone else has to like it because #girl power and otherwise it's just internalized misogyny or at the very least you misogynistically hating other women for being happy with their position/choices
- i'm tired of typing this is such an embarrassing post tbh
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vivianbernadetteaurora · 10 months ago
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Part 4+ part fictional part non-fiction
She became  Enlarger a with him. She was Nancy’s spudgen , Courtney Love J Bam, but with the strong women she felt like the man as time went on. She felt like her for Courtney. The ironic thing is, he hated Courtney laugh and what she did to cut supposedly because he had said she puff personality and actually was diagnosed.
Before she never knew how to be in group, she didn’t know how to hold herself, and for some reason this mumble out that side of her he could really hold his own, but made her feel like she could hold her own. I don’t know how it felt like magic, but it happened And I felt like tough cooking and conversations. I felt fairly powerful. I don’t know whether it was the drugs I didn’t know how could do that I guess it does it at the beginning where is people who are taking all the photos of each other them together and make them become one, but not in a way where you fell, but you lazy identity it was in a way that made you feel you gain your identity. I don’t know if it’s Stockholm syndrome or not I don’t know whether it’s like This or not, I’m not too sure but if it felt so good why people telling me so wrong I have to tell myself that maybe maybe it was bad and maybe it wasn’t healthy I’m totally not healthy but it’s not way to keep me away I had as well as statistic that women in happier relationships using other rate of knots becoming claim where is the relationship deteriorates they have a higher chance of getting clean but this phase did not feel like a bad phase that came later that came now that came every day that I fell out that came the last existence for the last, however many years let’s say around 2019 the year, my cousin passed free drugs and drugs depression Alcohol anxiety,.
 Z she felt so beautiful around her in the beginning. It was like magical. It really was gay, and then when they stopped staring you in that way, it really is something else, but that guys took me to place, so I never be in the mood for warm, it may feel absolutely and Ahmed it took me eight got a hold of me and it got hold of me and got me hurt and got onto the relationship as I was drugs and it was really heavy we would break up about one point several times a month. I don’t even know why now as the thing was trauma stop things in your brain like working out the way and I think it’s the reason but women go back so many times because they really can’t remember they generally cannot remember now I have become this woman in my mid 30s let me really show you a picture of all this right now who just sits on my side for most of the day learning astrology talking to text talking to YouTube covered and abscesses, cuddling up with her lovely little dog that part makes me feel very happy and very annoyed and very blessed the overweight and the really leaving house but so scary and sad. It would be for any person. The funny thing is I feel happier when I’m on my own.
Became time where things went a bit weird,  lines got blurred relationships got blurred all the things that I’ve done previously. This man had met his match, and I don’t think he’d known it yet. I really don’t think he realised that you don’t fuck with this girl, and if you do you’re gonna pay for it, you’re gonna be the one who gets dumped, but I’ll be the one who pays for it. In my heart forever, it’s always that way isn’t that the one who finishes the relationship always feels like sense of guilt. I could’ve done this so I should’ve done that and then let’s go onto some of his exes the one who robbed money from me out of her Nanes letter she sent to me with personal things in it broke my Nan’s heart.💔 and I felt awful telling her I could’ve told her nothing, but that’s just not who I am and she tried to move into a homeless B&B where people like us went to because she knew he was there. My boyfriend at the time she had a boyfriend she was also a prostitute and he was lying in bed all day and there would be heroin too fingers. This girl got pregnant, and this time would’ve been her fifth time being pregnant another kid care, another another broken heart for me. Another person who I feel didn’t deserve a kid why didn’t I get to have a kid well without making smack and not looking after herself not that I was doing much better but if I done it that many times surely I should get sterilised surely she should I didn’t need sterilisation anyway I couldn’t have kids I couldn’t and then when you can’t have kids and you hear people say it will happen. Eventually I had troubles this is what happens if you stop doing this this will happen is my worst thing to here, but people don’t know what to say do they? and it’s not their fault, but it is a typical response to this dynamic.
It made me so jealous of this girl, he was let’s say a size UK for she had to wear children’s clothes for fuck sake and then she’d complain about it. She was as white as a ghost and had self harm, cut all over her arms by arms, she had really shit tattoos, the worst eyebrows you can ever imagine dark, dead, black eyes and really bad hair like just awful. It was really black and messy, but sure kinda like Kelly Rowland in her old weave days, but awful, he looked like Penfold character of a TV show, but it was dead eyes of hers. I couldn’t stand on the other ex I used to really slag off the mother of his children had a long sleeping nose and wasn’t attractive. She was a size of a child as well which made me wonder. He always said when he was with both of them they were a lot bigger meaning like a size 12, which is just an average size I guess But I believe him I don’t know I reckon he put these words into their head now I look back at it. He had such as power over women. I don’t know how he did it but he did, and then there’s an ex from when he was a teenager who he sort of was saying, when we broke up well sort of seeing through the cracks spoon And she left dog shit on my doorstep. I lived with her mother for awhile when me and him were homeless as well which was weird. She was funny but as soon as the booze you run out she turned into an evil bitch I get it now I understand it, I didn’t, but then I just laughed about it. You doing your day so me and my partner share this tiny little room well Graham sometimes, and that’s just another tiny chapter to the story. I hope you enjoyed this will be a series as you can tell.
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donutloverxo · 4 years ago
Text
Tainted
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*gifs not mine*
Please note that my work is not to be reposted or published anywhere other than my Tumblr or AO3 account without my permission. Reblogs are most welcome though!
Note - this is inspired by a hc @sweater-daddiesdumbdork once wrote me and gave me a frigging murder kink. Life ruiner😡😡
Dividers by @whimsicalrogers
Summary - Steve saves you and plans on never letting you go again.
Warnings - 18+ only, smut(m/f), kidnappings, being held hostage, murder, blood, non descriptive violence, captain kink, slight murder kink.
Pairing - Steve Rogers x reader
Word count - 6.8k
Masterlist is linked in the bio!
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One of the most amazing thing about living with you was that Steve never had to come home to an empty house. He was now responsible for you, he’d have to shoot you a text message, he had gotten pretty good at texting, thanks to your guidance, or call you, he definitely liked calling and hearing your voice better. He’ll always be old school.
You’d get that slight waver in your voice as you tried to pretend that you weren’t sad, he could see your cute little pout through the phone. And while he would never want to cause you any sort of pain, knowing that you’d be waiting for him, that you’re missing him when he’s away, made him feel wanted.
That even someone like him deserved love and happiness and a safe, boring life. That may be there was a reason he died only to wake up again in a strange new world.
That wasn’t to say you didn’t come with your own set of challenges. You were messy if anything, leaving clutter everywhere and putting off doing your dishes and laundry for days. Maybe not the most practical but definitely the cutest roommate in the world.
He’d learn to put up with it because it was worth it. Maybe, he could even learn to 'let loose' a little as people always recommended to him.
At first, he couldn’t wait to ask you to marry him. He had even impulsively bought a ring with your birthstone, he knew you were obsessed with them and astrology and maybe even dark magic. But then you surprised him with a date to an old diner and introduced him as your boyfriend to your friends.
He liked your friends quite a lot, he couldn’t really understand what they were talking about half the time. From what he could tell - by their fascination with his muscles and all the touching and squeezing to his biceps, them wanting to hear about his life before the ice - it seemed that they liked him too.
But hearing you call him that, your guy, your boyfriend, your beau, as your friend Stacey had put it, he decided that he wasn’t quite ready to let go of this blissful courting period. He was rushing things.
He needed to live in the moment and just enjoy being your boyfriend for now, he had all the time in the world to wife you up - preferably not to late though.
He was so unbelievably happy, ecstatic to see you, to surprise you, his mission ending a week early he got home as soon as he could. He thought of maybe taking you to Vermont for the weekend, he had never been but Nat told him it’d be a nice little getaway and that you’d love it.
His wide smile slowly fade away as he looked at the state of his door - the latch broken. Forced entry. Somebody broke his door in. He pushed the door wide open and made his way in.
He knew what was to come next but he willed that thought away. Maybe you kicked it in yourself, maybe you forgot your keys. He kept telling himself that because he was terrified of thinking the alternative.
He stepped in as soon as he was able to shake himself out of his haze. Looking at the state of his, and your, apartment. A broken vase, and the coffee table smashed in.
Crouching down to take a closer look he saw some blood on the ceramic. Whoever did this to your home, better hope that it’s wasn’t yours.
He got up, directing his simmering rage towards his new mission. He didn’t panic, not yet, he couldn’t give himself that kind of luxury. His mind coming up with ten different to find you and make the bastards who did this pay.
NOBody can hurt the people he loves, especially his girl, and get away with it.
***
Your eyes fluttered open before scrunching shut to adjust to the harsh fluorescent light. You blinked, looking around you while squinting.
Some sort of empty grey room... a window to the side but it was dark outside. You dress sticking to your skin as your whole body was covered in a sheen of sweat.
Three men in a corner, one for them shouting at the others in a foreign language.
You felt a yip of pain radiating in your arms and then realised they were tied up behind you - strapped to a creaky chair.
You tried to shake free of them, by wiggling your wrists but then winced at the burn it caused, capturing the attention of your kidnappers.
One of them smiled at you, walking towards you.
“Finally awake, are we?” he asked in an abnormally chirpy way. “You were out for quiet some time. Did you sleep well?”
He squatted before you, you could see his face, his cold grey eyes betraying the warm smile that graced his lips. Many white scars littered over his jaw...
And then you remembered.
How you rushed home when you felt someone was following you. Locking the door, you tried to call Steve but couldn’t get through to him.
And then your stalker broke into your home. You tried to smash his head in with a vase but couldn’t really do any real damage. Everything was hazy after that. Maybe he drugged you - you couldn’t recall.
You exhaled shakily when you realised he was watching you both from the corner. You could never forget his dark hoodie and hair. Or fresh cut on his forehead. You had never so much as hurt a fly or even slapped anyone. How you managed to smash his head in you’ll never know.
You looked at the man before you again when you heard him calling out your name, his smile haltered for a moment as he looked back to your stalker.
“I’m sorry about that, he’s a rookie. He’ll be reprimanded soon enough. This wasn’t exactly our plan but we’ve decided to improvise.”
You tried to speak but with your throat and mouth dry and your mind in shock the words wouldn’t come out.
“Oh, that’s alright, don’t struggle. We don’t want anything to do with you, you’re just a normal plain Jane going about your life, aren’t you?”
You could only give him a weak nod, still trying your best to shake yourself free of your bounds without him noticing.
“That’s right. You haven’t done anything wrong, you don’t deserve to have anything bad happen to you, do you?”
You nodded again. Your breath hitched when he got closer to you, in your face, his hands planted on your bare thighs with your skirt pooled just below your hips.
“But we don’t always get what we deserve. You’re close to the Captain, that’s right Michael’s told me all about how taken he is with you. I mean... I never would’ve imagined Captain America would pick someone like you but to each their own,” he cupped your cheek, the cracks in his palm harsh against your soft skin.
“What do you want?” you asked, not looking away from him.
“I want justice. For things to be in the right order. You’ll have to suffer for it, but know that it’s for a good cause.”
“You’re wrong,” you shook your head, “he’ll come for me.”
“We’re counting on that,” he snickered.
You’re not sure what came over you, all you knew was that you wanted his disgusting hands off of you, “He’ll come for me, and then you’ll regret ever touching me.”
“Uh, I don’t know about this,” you pulled on a thread from your skirt with your right hand, your other hand in Steve’s as he held onto your waist, pulling you into his side. “It’ll be inside me?” you shuddered.
“Yes, but,” Bruce scratched his head, he was adorable like that. You never would’ve imagined him to be the hulk, a 'rage monster’. “it’s not as bad as you think. You won’t even feel it. All shield agents and Avengers have one. Except Thor, because that wouldn’t be of any use. The radius is only on earths surface. You would’ve thought that would be enough,” he chuckled.
You pressed your lips in a thin line, looking at the chip, smaller than an acrylic nail, watching Bruce load it up.
“I know it’s not ideal, doll. But I’ll feel much better knowing I can find you, in case something goes wrong.” He kissed your temple, as you braced yourself.
“Will it hurt?” you gulped as Bruce lined the shooter or gun, by the looks of it, to your forearm.
“Just a little. You’ll barely feel it.” He gave you a sympathetic smile.
“Look at me, pup,” Steve gripped your chin, moving your head till you looked into his blue eyes, he pressed his lips to yours, massaging your tongue with his to distract you.
“Mm,” you winced and moaned into his mouth when you felt the piercing pain. It was like getting a flu shot but you had never having been a huge fan of needles either.
He released his hold on you as Bruce worked on cleaning your the blood seeping through your pierced skin. “You did good.” Steve said.
“Do I get a sucker?” You asked Bruce and he chuckled - as if you were joking, you do not joke about candy, “No I really want one.”
“Let’s keep this between us.” Steve told you both.
“Of course,” Bruce nodded, “I can keep tracker dormant till we need it but are you sure?”
“I’m not sure who I can trust.” But he knew he could trust his teammates.
You sniffled, keeping your tears at bay because really something so little shouldn’t make you cry, rubbing your hand over your wounded bicep as Bruce handed you some gummy bears.
“They’re Tony’s. He leaves snacks everywhere, it’s annoying.”
“Thank you.” You blinked up at him and offered some to Steve.
You never thought you’d need it. Until now, you were sure your friends or your mother would notice that you’ve been gone and Steve will find out and track you down. You knew he would. He had to.
He frowned, his nails digging into your cheekbones, pluckering your lips, “Where’s all that confidence coming from?” he quirked a curious brow up, “He’ll walk right in and pay for everything he’s done,” he snorted.
“You’re way underprepared to take someone like him on,” shut up, shut up, shut up, why the fuck are you egging him on? “He’s strong, he’s a survivor.” Even without the serum, he survived an abusive household, being bullied, being sick, and you knew how protective he could be. To the point where it was downright irritating.
“We’ve got all the time in the world to prepare, you should be worrying about yourself,” he spat.
You had always been bold, even in the most inappropriate of situations. Like when you lectured a boy for over an hour on respecting boundaries for throwing spitballs at you, in kindergarten. Steve even said that he fell for that ‘spunk' in you.
‘Well-behaved women rarely make history’ your mother had told you.
And really, you liked that about yourself as well. You liked that you found a man that would encourage that side of you instead of calling you ‘difficult’ or ‘bossy’.
However, you immediately regretted everything you had said. Not because it was untrue, but because your captor took out a sharp pocket knife, a dark glint in his eyes.
“We only need you alive,” he said as you gulped, “I suppose, it wouldn’t matter if you’re missing a finger or two.”
You frantically shook your head, choking on a sob. “No,” you pleaded, “you’ll... he will find me and you will - ”
“Go to prison at best. It’s a risk we’re all willing to take,” he put the blunt end of the knife against your cheek, “We have to do something to kill the time.”
You couldn’t breath, your heart hammering in your chest, what if he doesn’t come for you? You won’t be able to do anything about it. It wasn’t like you could protect yourself, at least in this situation, all you could do was wait for him.
You shut your eyes, and braced yourself for the pain. Except... it never came, you simply heard someone fall down, some sort of clattering sound.
Upon opening your eyes you saw one of his friends face down before your in the corner, the other guy, your lovely stalker, drawing out his gun, looking at the only window to your left. You swore you a saw a glimpse of a flying disk knocking your stalker out.
The man before you cursed under his breath, “Get. Up. Come on!” he ordered.
“Yeah, if I could do that I probably would’ve,” you snarked, still trying to get your aching wrists free.
You barely even registered - who could only be your Captain - sneaking up behind him, snapping his neck with his hands in a matter of seconds. He collapsed on the ground and you could finally see Steve.
His clenched jaw and cold eyes softened up on seeing you, you couldn’t help but let out a sob as you realised you were going to be free.
“You’re okay, sweetheart, it’s okay,” he soothed you, kissing your forehead before swiftly free your hands.
You stood up on wobbly legs, holding onto his arms for support, “Steve,” you breathed out, “you came for me.”
“Of course I did,” he sighed, gently pushing your face against his chest as he hugged you close to him. “As if I’d ever abandon you,” he smoothed a hand over your back and decided to not dwell on your comment. This wasn’t about him, you were in shock.
“I was so scared,” you sniffled, “he said, he - ” you couldn’t even finish your sentence as you broke down in a fit of sobs and hiccups.
“You’re safe now,” he promised.
“You - did you kill him?” you pushed away from him to look up at his face so you could take him in.
You had never seen him in his uniform. Only ever seeing him on the news but he had his cowl on and a suit that was much more on brand for ‘Captain America’ than the darker one he had on now. It made him look bigger - if that was even possible. Bigger than the shield now strapped to his back.
His usually clean shaven face had the faintest shadow to it while his hair was slicked back. He looked beautiful, so soft and innocent, definitely not someone who’s capable of hurting anyone.
“He hurt you,” he replied, bringing your hand up to his lips and kissing your bruised wrists, “and so many others, he got what was coming to him.”
“You knew him?”
“Yes. He got away the last time we tried to catch him - but we don’t have to talk about that right now. Are you hurt anywhere else?”
You shook your head, “No, I’m just thirsty and I really want to lay down,” you murmured, resting your head on the star in the middle of his chest.
He pressed a hand to his ear, letting his team know that he had found you. You vaguely saw agents clad in black gear storm the room.
“We did a sweep of the place. No one else is here,” Natasha said. “How you doing?” and then frowned when you didn’t respond.
“She’s tired. It’s okay, love,” he kissed your temple, snaking a hand under your knees and picking you up with ease.
You weakly nodded, wrapping your hands around his neck, glad to be babied by him because you didn’t have the strength to stand.
“They didn’t give you anything to eat?” Nat scoffed as you shook your head.
“How long have I been here?” you looked at Steve, struggling to stay awake.
“A day and a half. We’ll get you fixed up,” he swore, carrying you towards the quinget.
“Where are we?” you nuzzled your nose against the rough kevlar of his suit.
“Bermuda,” he said.
“Oo, I’ve always wanted to come here... just maybe not like this,” you chuckled but Steve didn’t find it all that amusing. You cupped his cheek in your palm, hoping to maybe calm him down a bit before falling asleep.
***
You vaguely heard a familiar voice calling out your name, you’d recognise it anywhere, it was one of your favorites, one you’d known your entire life.
“Mom?” you muttered, opening your eyes and looking around the room to look for her. You smiled when you saw her sitting on a chair just beside your bed, the faint, annoying beeping told you that you were probably in a hospital.
“Hey there, honey,” she smiled back at you, her eyes misty as she pressed her lips to your cheek. “Do you have any idea how much you scared me?”
“I’m sorry,” you tried to sit up as she fluffed your pillow up to support you. “I was... um... kidnapped.” Saying it out loud made it feel so ridiculous. Never in your wildest dreams would you have thought.
“Yes, Steve filled us in on everything. So, Captain America, huh?” she raised her brows.
“Yeah,” you chuckled nervously. Doing a once over to your large, mostly white room to look for him. He wouldn’t just up and leave you, would he?
“How long has it been going on?” she asked.
“Um, three or four months?” you winced when you realised just how much trouble you were in.
“And, you live with him. Linda filled us in on everything. You’re quitting your job too now.”
“It’s - it’s not as bad as it sounds...”
“Never mind that, you need to rest. Then you won’t have to worry about all this. I’m taking you home with me. And you’re never coming back here again.”
“What? No! I still have over two years of school left.”
“You can do it online! You can find just as a good a job in Queens.”
“No! I’m not coming,” you whined.
“Well, you’re not living with a man you barely know either.”
You were interrupted by a knock on the door. A doctor entering, apologising for disturbing you and Steve right behind her. He still hadn’t changed out of his suit.
He stood at the end of your bed, squeezing your foot to let you know he was there for you as your mother glared daggers at him.
“Looks like you’re doing good. Blood sugars back to normal as well...” the doctor said, “You’re free to go home.”
“Really?” you smiled. So done with everything. Sleeping in your own bed sounded like heaven.
“Yes, let us know if you need anything.” She looked over your chart again and then left.
“Good then, you can come home now.”
“No! I’m going to my apartment in Manhattan, the one I share with Steve.” You rolled your eyes. Pleading Steve to back you up with your eyes.
He cleared his throat, “Um, ma'am, you can come stay with us, if you like.”
He held your mothers gaze, to let her know that he was serious and earnest.
He knew he wasn’t perfect by any means. He had a million flaws and cuts that ran deeper than anybody would ever know but he always thought, or maybe arrogantly assumed, that if nothing else he was someone ‘you take home to mama’ as Clint had once put it. He thought that your parents, like most, would like him. That he’d easily get their blessing to be with their daughter. He was known to be America’s golden boy after all.
But your mother had ripped him a new one as soon as she saw him. Accusing him of abusing his power to woo you. That you were here because of him. That he’s not worthy of you.
And all he could do was stand there and take it because everything she had said was the truth. He didn’t deserve you, you were captured and possibly traumatised because of him.
At the same time, he couldn’t just let you go. Not till he gets to the bottom of who had hurt you and makes sure that you’re safe from now on.
“No, thank you.” She scoffed, looking back at you and shaking her head. “What are you doing with your life?”
“I’ve made a lot of mistakes but being with Steve definitely isn’t one,” you looked over to him, he looked just as tired as you, “I just want to go home. My home with Steve.”
“Fine, I’ve always let you make your own decisions.” she sighed, finally giving in.
“And I’ve never disappointed you.”
“That’s debatable,” she snorted, “I’ll come check on you tomorrow then. Maybe send me your address. You know? Something you should’ve done months ago.” She returned to glaring at Steve.
“I’ve only been living with him for a month!” you tried to defend yourself.
***
“I can take off my own clothes, Stevie,” you giggled, him kneeling before you to help you out of the sweets the med bay gave you. Your dress was dirty and ragged now. “I really liked that dress though. I don’t have many like it. You think we can get it back?”
“Maybe, I’ll see what I can do, doll,” he kissed your bare thigh before rolling your panties down your legs.
“You’re kinda dirty too,” you remarked, sniffing him. He didn’t smell bad, as if Steve would ever smell bad to you. Just a bit of gunpowder, like that of firecrackers, a bit pungent instead of his normal piney and woodsy scent.
“Thank you,” he deadpanned before cracking a smile, “I was just excited to see you. Or I would’ve showered before coming home and then I didn’t get a chance to.”
He worked on unbuttoning your shirt He insisted on you getting a button up instead of a t-shirt considering how sore your arms were from being toed up for so long. Tied up... like an animal.
“Hey,” you whispered softly, caressing his cheek, “come back to me.”
“Sorry, I’m just... I don’t know,” he shook his head. He couldn’t let you know the guilt and despair he felt, you’d end up comforting him instead of the other way around. “It’s just been a long day.”
“Yeah. Still can’t believe any of this was real.” Running your hands up and down his suit, the feel of the material almost soothing to touch. “You wanna shower with me?”
“Don’t know, doll. That showers pretty small.”
He did have a pretty generous salary but opted to live in a more modest apartment, he never took more than he needed anyway, with a small shower. Not too small, but definitely not big enough for you both.
“We’ll make do, come on. I’ll make you squeaky clean.”
He took over ten minutes to get rid of the suit. You watched intently as he removed more latches than you could count.
“Is it bulletproof?” you wanted to know.
“Yes. But probably not as good as a vest. I’ve never been shot so I wouldn’t know.” He answered, taking off his undershirt.
“It’s funny because I always thought y’all were naked under there,” you chuckled, and then your jaw dropped as he took off his briefs.
You had never seen his cock while it was soft before. He was always more than excited when you got to him. It was amazing how pretty he looked either way.
“You and so many other people,” he almost shuddered at the thought of having been asked the same question so many times.
After making sure the water was hot enough, you both stood under it.
You took some of the lavender wash you had bought from lush, squeezing it on your sponge. Steve, bless him, was amazing at so many things. Shopping - it seemed was not one of them. All he had in his bathroom was a bar of soap, one toothbrush and a vintage straight razor.
Which just won’t do for you, so you took it upon yourself to stock the whole place up with your favorite stuff. The lavender being Steve’s favorite, you remembered how flustered you got when he told you that you smelled good. And then tried to explain that you always smell good while turning redder than a tomato.
You did his front, asking him to bent his neck a bit so you could wash his hair because he was almost a foot taller than you. You were about to do his legs, you’d take any excuse to feel up his thick thighs but he told you he’d do the rest himself.
Taking the sponge from you, he ran it under some water, working on cleaning you thoroughly. Under your arms, your breasts, your stomach, between your legs and then your legs.
You were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen - he knew that since the moment he had met you. But something about washing you up like that felt so intimate even though there was nothing erotic about it.
After washing you thoroughly he wrapped you up in a towel, “My cute lil' burrito,” he booped your nose.
You puffed your cheeks out, you weren’t sure if you liked that nickname. Observing just how gentle he was with you, helping you into a cotton nightie, as opposed to drying himself off hastily and carelessly before pulling some sweats and briefs on.
“Don’t wear a shirt,” you pleaded, he looked amazing shirtless, but that wasn’t the only reason, you really liked feeling his skin on hours, pressing kissing on his perfect, smooth, golden skin, ”pretty please.” Right now, he’d give you anything you wanted and you intended on milking that as much as you can.
“Alright, doll,” he replied, pulling you up in his arms again as if you were his bride, as you giggled so sweetly, “now, what would you like to eat? No take out, it has to be healthy. And remember my culinary skills are limited,” he said, carrying you to the living room and putting you on the couch as he started working in the kitchen.
“Stevie, I’m not hungry. Well, that’s not true, I’d like some ice cream,” fluttering your lashes at him, “Mint chocolate chip? I’m pretty sure we have some.”
“Of course, puppy,” you smiled, at the prospect of getting a sweet treat and the nickname, “as soon as you eat something.” He added and you huffed in annoyance.
He whipped up a sandwich for you, two for him because he was starving, some peach iced tea so you wouldn’t eat his ear off while complaining.
You only picked at your food, giving more than half of it to him. You truly didn’t feel like eating, instead craving some cuddles with him.
You tried striking up a conversation with him multiple times. Not because you didn’t like silence. You did when it came to him, you could go hours without talking and it would feel so serene and perfect. You never had to talk just for the sake of it when you were with him.
But you had come to read Steve pretty well. He seemed distant and closed off. The air around you both thick with tension. You tried to ease it while telling him about how brave you were while quitting and didn’t cry at all, how Tony dropped by and was apparently stalking you - which was a bad idea because it seemed to make him angry, clench his jaw tight, his brows furrowed as he placed your plates in the sink.
Unsure if you had done something wrong or were mean to Tony, who was technically his boss, you twiddled with your fingers, “Um... I - I’m sorry,” you stuttered, trying to hold back tears. Spending the night at your mom’s house sounded like the better choice now.
“Hm?” he looked back at you, he could do the dishes tomorrow, “what for?”
“I shouldn’t have been snarky with Tony. I know he’s your boss and all that but he’s kinda cocky... And I got really mad when I found out he did like a ‘background check' on me. I mean I get why he would but still. I can apologize to him.”
“No no,” he shook his head, kneeling before you, taking your hands in his, “you misunderstood, love. I’m not mad at you, I could never REALLY be mad at you. It’s Tony I’m angry with, he went behind my back, ambushed you at work.”
“To be fair, you did the same when you asked me out,” you snickered as a blush crept up his neck.
“Right.” He finally cracked a genuine smile placing feather light kisses on your knuckles and the to the bandages on your hands.
“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” you asked, running your hands through his hair, scratching his scalp lightly with your nails.
“It’s probably better if we don’t talk about it,” he said, laying his head on your lap. Your slight scratching massaging his never-resting head.
“I think we should. My mom said I don’t know you. And to some extent, she is right. I don’t. Maybe I’m just imagining things but... sometimes it feels like you’re holding back.”
He gathered enough courage to look up at you, your almond shaped eyes looking down at his and he knew that he could talk to you about anything. He did. But there will always be that little voice that tells him that he shouldn’t. He would only trouble you.
“Don’t you pride yourself on being honest?” you caressed his scratchy cheek.
He snorted. He really was dense enough to think he was the perfect son-in-law package.
“I just, the way you looked at me, when I killed that man, I’m afraid that you’re scared of me now. That’s the last thing I want. It’s my worst nightmare really.” He leant into your touch.
“Steve, that wasn’t because I’m scare of you. It was because I’m fond of you. You were so strong and brave and you saved me. I liked being the damsel in distress more than I thought,” He chuckled at that, his doubts a bit relieved, “that’s... not all though.” You murmured.
“What is it?” he wanted to know.
“You, um, the fact that you would do that for me... it’s just. I never thought anyone would love me that much.”
“I only regret doing it in front of you. I’m sorry you had to see that or go through any of that.”
“I’m not a child, Steve,” you rolled your eyes.
“Of course not, but you’re you. You’re pure and an angel. I - I’m tainted - tainted by blood, tainted by war - ”
“Steve, that’s not true. You’re not, you’re the pure-est person I know. War and - that doesn’t define you.”
“You wouldn’t feel that way if you knew about all the things I have done, sweetheart.” The sweet nickname he had for you, which now he used in a patronising tone, “I let my best friend die. And I couldn’t do anything about it.”
“What’re you talking about?” you frowned. You heard about Bucky from him and your history textbooks but you don’t remember reading anything like that.
“It’s... something I’m not ready to get into.” He put his forehead on your knee. He knew you loved him but there was only so much baggage you would be willing to accept.
“Okay. You can take your time and tell me if and when you’re ready, baby.” You went back to idly playing with his, “But I need you to know that I love you. Nothing you could ever say will change that. To think that... for a second I thought that you wouldn’t come for me.”
He snapped his head back up, “What?”
“I thought, that you’d be busy with your mission. You wouldn’t even find out I was missing or... you just wouldn’t care enough to come yourself. I mean, I knew you would come, obviously. But you have other more important work...”
“No,” he shook his head, “How could you ever think anything's more important to me than you and your life?”
“Yeah, I was being stupid.”
“You can be a bit silly sometimes, doll.” He nuzzled your tummy, making you giggle. “I’m never letting you out of my sight again. I was so scared I’d never see you again,” he confessed against your nightgown.
“That’d be a bit hard to do. Keeping an eye on me like that. But if it means I get to spend more time with you then I’m down.”
You convinced Steve to let you have some ice cream. He only let you have half a scope, telling you that you’d have trouble sleeping otherwise.
“I’ve been sleeping for most of the last two days.” You tried to argue but it was hard to change his mind once he had it set on something.
You both brushed your teeth together and he stared at you as you went about your night-time skincare routine.
Cleanse, serum, moisturize, sleep mask.
All he did was wash his face and he still looked fucking perfect.
He stayed true to his word, sticking by your side to the point where you had to kick him outside to have some privacy to pee in peace. He was right there waiting for you when you opened the door.
Finally, you were in your cosy bed. Light’s off and cuddled tight with your boyfriend. Your stuffed unicorn and your Captain America plushie to your other side.
With your legs tangled together, you rubbed your feet up and down his legs. Which were unfortunately covered with his sweats.
“Steve,” you whined.
“Yes?”
“Take off these damn pants. They’re hurting my skin. So friggin' prickly.”
“Sorry, doll. I know how precious your skin is.” He sounded like he was mocking you but he followed, pushing his pants away.
“Good?” he asked holding you close to him again.
“Mm-hm,” you hummed against his naked chest. “Let’s sleep like this everyday, please.”
“Sure.” He replied. He liked being a ‘human furnace' for you.
He wasn’t going to fall asleep. Not after everything that happened. He hadn’t slept well in the past week but he was afraid that if he’d shut his eyes for a single moment and you’d be gone. This time, he wouldn’t be lucky enough to find you.
He hadn’t been to crunch or even prayed in a while. Losing his faith a long time ago after all the terrible things he had seen. But he had prayed when he came back found his home to be wreck. He prayed that you’d come back to him because there were some things he just could not control. Nobody could.
After a while he lowly whispered your name. “Are you awake?” he asked.
It was silly but he missed you. Even though you were laying right next to him in his arms - the safest place you could be.
“Yeah. I can’t sleep. Even though I’m so tired.” You yawned. “You okay?”
“Yeah.”
“You sure?” You snorted. “You’re not a good liar, Steven.”
“Can I ask you something? And you can say no if you want I won’t mind.”
“Sure, shoot.”
“Can I, um, have you? I just need to feel you, sweetheart. After everything – I need to know you’re really here.” he was cut off by your lips crashing on his.
You winced when your teeth clamped together but he soothed your upper lip by nipping at it with his tongue.
“Steve,” you panted as he broke awake, shifting under the sheets and pushing the helm of your gown up.
He placed quick open mouthed kisses all over your thighs, over your stretch marks, spreading your thighs further to accommodate his broad shoulders, he made sure to check in with you again.
All you did was push his head towards your heat, begging him to eat your pussy - as if he needed to be told twice.
Swirling and spreading your glistening juices of arousal around your weeping lips, he dove in for his prize. Drawing patterns on your bundle of nerves before sucking at it harshly, he plunged his tongue inside. Lacing his fingers with yours and pinning your hands down by your hips.
You kept desperately pushing your hips up, wanting more. Arching your back up and holding onto his hands tightly as he lightly grazed his teeth over your clit.
“Say my name, sweetheart,” he demanded against your heat, the vibrations sending jolts of pleasure up your spine.
Your orgasm washing over you in waves, electrifying every nerve in your body as you clamped your legs around his head, holding onto him.
He kept lapping you up through it, taking everything you’d give him.
He loved worshipping you - spending as much time as he could between your legs - because you were his goddess but right now, he just needed to feel you.
He climbed up the bed, hovering over you, he pushed two thick fingers inside you mouth till the second knuckle.
“Get them nice and wet, doll.” He instructed.
You moaned around him, making loud suckling noises, “Yesh, Captain,” it came out muffled, what with your mouth full.
“Captain?” he smirked. You had only ever called him that as a joke, he never knew being called that in a salacious way could stroke a fire inside him. Making him them painfully hard in the confines of his tight briefs. He pulled his fingers out of you, pushing his hand down till it was between your legs. Nudging your entrance with them.
“Sorry, it slipped out.” You were too unabashed to feel guilty. 
He scoffed, “Say it again.” 
Pushing his fingers inside you. Pumping them at a fast pace before you even had a second to think. It was desperate and fast so unlike how it is usually between you both. He needed to be inside you but your needs would always come before his. 
“Captain,” you mewled, chewing on your lower lip and holding onto his face. You couldn’t see him clearly in the dark but you still need to look at him. “I told them my Captain would come for me. And you did...” he swallowed your screams with his mouth as you clenched around his fingers. 
“That’s right,” he groaned, sucking your slick off of his fingers, “I’ll always protect you. I’ll do anything for you.” 
Shaky fingers working on taking his cock out of the hard confines of his uncomfortable underwear. He didn’t waste a single second before sinking inside you, as deep as he could. He moaned into your neck, “So fucking tight, doll. Like you were made for me,” he bit your neck. 
Drawing his hips back he thrusted inside you, brushing against your g-spot, making you keen. 
He stopped immediately, propping himself up on his elbows he looked down at your hooded eyes. “You alright, sweetheart?”
You nodded, “Yes, it’s just so good,” as if to prove it you clenched around his length, to make him feel all of you just as he was doing to you. 
He groaned at that, his balls already tightening, aching for release, “What’s the safe word?” 
“Mm... buttercream.”
“That’s right, good girl,” he cooed as you whimpered at his praise as he withdrew his hips again, loving you in a slow soft way. 
Pushing your gown up till it was above your breasts - he didn’t really have the patience to properly take it off. He sucked a spot just above your breast, so you’d remember his love every time you looked at it. Your nipples pebbled and goose bumps painted your skin, with your cunt tight around him he knew you were close. 
Wrapping his mouth around one bud, He pulled and pinched at the other. He stopped his ministrations, he needed to look at you as you climaxed. To know that you needed him at least half as much as he needed you. 
Your face scrunched up as you met your bliss, your nails drawing blood from shoulders - not that he cared in the slightest. 
His hips retracting and thrusting as he lost all sense of rhythm and finesse chasing his end as you laid boneless beneath him. He kept fucking into you, filling you to the brim. 
He heaved above you, making sure not to collapse on top of you. Reluctantly he pulled himself out of you. 
Pulling you close to him, his lips pressed up against the crown of your head, he whispered sweet nothings to you. “My brave girl.” He kissed the tip of your nose. “You’re so strong, sweetheart.”
“Stronger than the hulk?”
“Yes, definitely,” he replied, tracing the bandages wrapped around your wrists. “Now try to get some sleep.”
“Oh, I’ll sleep alright. Thanks to you.” You giggled. 
***
tags will be in the reblog.
this was my longest fic!i know it wasnt the best conclusion to something i drew outover 4 chapters but its the best i could do. sorry for weird format tumblrs mad i had too much fun lol. comments and reblogs are really appreciated!!
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blackcherrykiss · 4 years ago
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BLOOD BOUNDARIES - Enhypen OT7 Fanfic (ch.5)
[CH.1] [CH.2] [CH.3] [CH.4]  previous chapters
[CH.6] next chapter (now available!)
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genre: vampire au, romance, drama, mystery, thriller
note: written inspired by enhypen's storyline, given-taken lyrics & teasers. please keep in mind all members are apart of this fanfic and the main theme is mystery/drama!
P.S Niki and Sunoo's roles become bigger in later chapters :) sorry I took 2 weeks to update. School + new enhypen teasers made me alter the story now jesus their lore is confusingly interesting. Didn't proofread half of this chapter LOL. Happy readings <3
"Well now that everyone is here, I'd like to announce we have a new student who just transferred here." Your eyes were immediately drawn to the student's platinum blonde hair. Despite his sharp and charismatic face, his eyes were delicate and innocent. He had an exceptionally small face and a sunkissed skin tone. The new student snapped himself around so that the entire classroom got a good look at him, "Hello, my name is Park Jongseong or Jay, call me whatever you feel." He bowed slightly, his voice having a cool ring that played over in your head.
"Everybody please welcome Jay to our astronomy class. Lend him any of our previous notes because midterms are coming up and I'd appreciate as a teacher if you guys helped him catch up before our long weekend coming up in two weeks." Your teacher gave a warm smile, nodding in such a way that made the rest of the class nod with her.
Without a student saying a word, everyone's eyes followed him as he took a seat at a desk a couple of rows in front of you.
You stared at him tirelessly, barely listening as your teacher rambled off-topic. You noticed Jay often stared out at the crying sky that occasionally flickered with lightning. His eyes focused intently on the woods. You were sure you weren't the only one who was interested in the new boy as you frequently caught other students glancing over at him every few seconds. Jay carried an attractive and dark aura that clearly contrasted from the crowd. Both girls and boys stared at him not because of his pretty face but because he was far different from the new students who had joined your school mid-semester.
The class flew by for you because of Jay until a simple but intriguing question was purposed by the teacher, "Bonus marks today if anyone can guess when the next full moon is." she lifted her eyes off the projector for a few moments, waiting for answers to come sailing.
"Saturday?" Somebody from the front called out, followed by numerous answers that ranged between the second week to the fourth week of the month.
"Come on now. Don't blurt out, give others chances to guess. Jay why don't you guess?" Your teacher questioned welcomingly, expecting no answer from him.
He leaned back in his chair, scraping the non-writing end of his ballpen on his thumb, "November 30." A gentle sound of thunder playing perfectly when he said the answer; like some sort of scene out of a comic.
"Ding ding ding!" Your teacher switched to a PowerPoint slide with the new unit name bolded, "I know this isn't part of the curriculum but I got it approved by the head of the school." She took a breath, giving students time to comprehend what was presented in front of them. "Our next unit will be looking deeper at the moon. More specifically, we'll be looking at both the sciency and non-sciency sides of this topic. And before anyone asks; no, you don't need to believe in astrology or superstitions to understand the non-sciency material. It's just very fascinating because it connects to many cultures." Your attention was now far away from Jay. You were enthusiastic about a topic for once in the class.
"And looks like we're running out of time." Your teacher's wrist clock blocking her eyes. "That's it for today's class everyone! I'll have your projects marked for next class, I promise! Have a good day." She said while shutting off the projector.
You slid all your handouts into your binder, not bothering to align the three-hole punches of the papers to their designated rings.
"Y/N before you go, do you mind helping out Jay? Today or tomorrow?" Your teacher stopped you on your way out.
"Like lend him my notes?"
"Yep! I just forgot to ask but he just left so you might be able to catch up to him. Maybe ask if he's got the notes yet."
You waved your goodbyes and chased the new boy down, his uniquely blonde hair standing out from the hallway of heads. You picked up the pace to catch up with his swift steps when you caught him chatting with Sunghoon and Jaeyun. Your feet froze straight down in their place.
Were they new friends? Or perhaps they were old friends?
You weren't going to bother talking to Jay as you already knew what kind of funny business would come up if you did. You could only watch them swing and lean their arms against each other in a close and friendly way. The picture was becoming more and more clear to you as to what kind of association Jay had with Sunghoon and Jaeyun perhaps even Heeseung, Sunoo or Jungwon.
...
You throw yourself violently over your thick mattress after finishing a long study and homework session at your dorm. The session wasn't productive but the time you spent surrounded by your schoolwork made it feel that way. Your dorm was awfully quiet that afternoon as your dormmates had music rehearsals for their extracurriculars. Nana had told you to come by the music rooms around a quarter past five when their practice was over to go down to the dining hall and have dinner but you couldn't think of a way to kill your remaining hour alone.
Phones were forbidden in your school and you often felt uncontrollably alone and bored with your thoughts during your free time. You could only lay tangled in your bed with your half progressed work in the corner of your eye. You shift on one side to watch your wide-open binder until you got some burst of motivation to finish studying until an idea hits you.
After eyeing your handouts from your astronomy class, you decide to hit the library and do some reading to get a little advanced in the class. Sure you could study for your other class but the sudden idea was far more worth your time in your mind. You quickly twirl out of your room, clearing your desk while you're at it. Excitedly, you hop into your shoes and head straight for the library. You were put in a good mood as you skipped along the long journey to the bookhouse.
The library was moderately packed as you don't bother to recognize any faces there. You get deja vu as you trail the same path you did when Sunghoon and Kyungeun were around. Sliding between the thin space between the bookshelves once again, you search for the section related to the moon, feeling dizzy at the sight of books your school owned. You could've made your life easier by asking the librarian but you were confident you could find it on your own. You move up and down the aisles as you catch a glimpse of theoretical and astrology related books that sit next to a couple of history books.
Backing up, you awkwardly bend your knees forward to get a better look at the small selection of books under the genre. You peel a random book spine out from its tight spot as if it had never been taken out before. You dust off the book a bit, reading the wordless cover and open it to check if it was really related to any sort of astronomy as you find a much stranger subject being discussed.
"Finding everything alright?" The librarian comes by, pushing a kart from the other end of the shelves. "I-I'm looking for books related to the moon." You say, standing up and forgetting you still had the old book in hand.
"The scientific information is just on the other side of this shelf but the section you were just looking at has some interesting stuff that might be related." The librarian stuffed herself in between the shelves to get toward you.
"Yeah, I noticed... This book I just picked up was talking about vampires." You laugh a little as you hold it up.
"Ah, that book..." She paused, snatching the book out of your hands to examine it, "I read this before... It relates to astrology. I think there are some parts of the book that go into detail about the moon, you should give it a read."
"Is this book just theoretical research about vampires though?" You were unconvinced with the idea.
"Yeah, real or not, our school grounds and the neighbouring town are talked about in the book. Apparently many years ago this place used to be a hotspot for vampires."  She looked you dead in the eyes.
"Do you think the information is true?" You questioned with deep curiosity upon her answer.
"Some information in there is haunting. I think vampires did exist." She said with some sort of distress beginning to seep into her face.
Shivers ran down your spine, if she was just trying to sell you the book, it was working damn well on you.
"I'll leave you be, no need to sign out the book, nobody ever takes it out so I trust you'll return it." And with that said, she left you cold with mystery as the book between your fingers stared at you with big round eyes.
You shake back to reality, checking your wrist just to find out your time has vanished. You shift your priorities to getting to the music department, throwing the book into your bag without much thought.
...
The sun was already going down around the afternoon as the days got shorter with autumn blossoming. You're standing between rooms full of beautiful voices and instruments, peering through every window attached to a door in an attempt to find your roommates. The issue was the widows didn't give much of a view as to who was in the rooms. But your ears were drawn to a gentle piano that played a bittersweet melody beneath the louder sounds of people singing in a harmonious glee. As you move in the forward direction of the hallway, the piano gets clearer to your ears. It became clear that the sound was coming out of a room with its door wide open. Your back attached it to the wall in fear of being seen as slide yourself until you meet the spine of the door where you could see into the shadowy room.
Your eyes lit up when they see a familiar platinum blondie behind the keys. The melody was enchanting and was played in such a personal way as the sounds escaped into the noisy environment where it hoped to go unheard. Jay had reached the final notes of his song as he turned his head in your direction. It was as if he knew of your present from the moment you started watching him from the doorway.
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qianoir · 3 years ago
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IT3D 1 - Hua Mulan
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𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: college students!WayV x Chinese fem!reader
𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: non-idol au, college au
𝐑𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: 18+ (Do not interact if you are under 18)
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: heavy cursing (censored), mentions of sex, nudity, love octogon, foreign humor, overbearing parents
♡ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.3k
𝐓𝐚𝐠 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭: @eggbutnotyolk @d1nne @fanficbitchwhowriteskpop @staysstrays
Preview < 1 < 2 < 3
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"I've only been in New York City for 15 hours, Xuejiao. And it's huge! I don't know these streets you're telling me!" You shout, ignoring the side-eyes from the passerby city slickers that give New York it’s bad stereotype.
"You're going down 96th Street right? I told you to keep going down. It's a long a.ss street. You'll find the campus eventually- look for the dome!"
The connection breaks as Xuejiao finishes the call, "I gotta go now, I’m trying to get in my astrology professor’s pants after class!" The line goes silent and you huff, opening up GPS to lead you down the forsaken 96th Street. Distracted with directions, some guy crashes into you with his bike.
"What the hell!? Watch where you're going!" You yell picking up your fallen bag- which scattered all of my weeaboo s.hit.
"Maybe if you didn't stand in the middle of the street, you wouldn't have wrecked my bike! You're lucky you didn't get killed by a real car!" You looked up at the ignorant voice and found a young, orange-haired Asian boy. Maybe Chinese, like me?
"I wrecked your bike!? You're really unbelievable.." You placed everything back into the bag and took out your wallet. "Look, I don't have time for this. I'm sorry for damaging your tricycle, or whatever- here." You threw a fully punched Xing Fu Tang loyalty card at the kid’s dumbfounded face and walked off.
It's 9:57 AM, your o-chem class starts at 10 and you still can't find the campus. Why did my parents even make me leave Hong Kong? Because of the government, the pollution? Both countries are f.ucked. I choke there and I choke here.
Finally, I'm here.
You ran to the STEM building and up the stairs to land in a spacious lab room. You hurried to an empty seat near the top row. 9:59 AM.. Thank goodness.
In the midst of the lesson, the door opened to reveal the same clumsy jerk you had encountered a few minutes ago. He rushed to an empty seat, you going unnoticed by him.
Your first 50 minutes of college went by pretty quick. Nothing more than a syllabus review and a small question/answer session.
"I know it is the first day, but you are all in big kid school now, so I am assigning a semester project you will work on for all of this first term with a partner." Each array of your peers groaned at this announcement.
"You will use your knowledge from high school chemistry or an equivalent to complete it." The professor continued, "I will choose your partners and you are both expected to be responsible with it all semester."
"Remember your partner's name so that when I'm done, you can come down to get each other's contact information."
"Man Wol and Ji An.. Ha Jin and Hae Soo.."
The professor continued to call out names as you were caught up in texting Xuejiao about the kid who crashed into you earlier this morning being in your class, only half listening until you heard your name being called.
“Y/N and Yangyang.." Did I miss a racist joke or something? What the hell is a Yang Yang?
You kept texting Xuejiao, deciding to deal with it after class.
"I know it's a lot to take in on the first day, but on the bright side, you don't have to do the project," Some idiots celebrated, "but know that I will judge you harshly on it and I will be teaching at an Ivy League while you get kicked out of an Ivy League, never achieving your dreams." He fakes a sad face and the same idiots fuss.
"Now come meet your partners and have a good rest of your first day!" Your first professor dismissed the first class.
You put your phone in your pocket and stumbled to the bottom of the classroom, calling out for "Yangyang," the name feeling awkward as it rolled off your tongue.
"That's me." You spun around and were met with the trike guy from earlier.
"IT'S YOU!" You exclaimed in unison with him, the space between you two silencing for a second, before you spoke again.
"Oh my God I can't believe I got such a d!ck as a partner." You rolled your eyes with crossed arms.
"Hey! It takes two to d!ck!" Yangyang argues back. You stared at the fellow Asian boy in disgust and dismay.
"What the f.uck!?"
Both of you suddenly broke down laughing, your huddled classmates peeking at you with judgemental stares.
Yangyang calmed down and talked more comfortably with you, "Thanks for the boba by the way. I drank it deliciously.. before I dropped it because I crashed again."
"That's what you get for being a pr!ck to me." You scoffed.
"Oh baby that wasn't being a pr!ck. That was simply getting you warmed up to want me." He tapped your chin to bop your head back while giving a creepy stare.
...
"You're a f.ucking crazy person."
"Like it or not, Mulan, you're stuck with me for an entire semester." He stuck his tongue out at you.
"Mulan?" You questioned.
"Yeah. You're a Chinese b!tch, right?" You glared at him, but had to nod ‘yes’ anyway.
"Cool. I'm Taiwanese.. I need to get to the other side of campus so give me your number so we can work out the details on the project. You wanna meet up at the library tonight?" You agreed and gave him your number.
"Great. See you tonight, Mulan." He winked and jumped out of the room.
Shaking your head at the ironic situation, you walked to the next class with a little over 10 minutes to spare, so you stopped for coffee at the Starbucks on campus.
The shop was pretty small and there weren't a lot of people inside. As you were about to enter, another Asian boy held the door open. "Thank you." You smiled, bowing your head in gratitude.
"Anything for a girl with such a charming smile. Can I buy you a coffee?" He asked.
"No, that's ok!" You replied, not wanting to inconvenience this guy- and besides, he might just be trying to get in my pants.
"Please I insist! Get anything you want!" You decided to take his offer because in the end, it’s free coffee. He was also pretty charming himself, and seemingly harmless.
"Could I get an iced Americano, please?" You ordered. "I'll have the same." The boy told the barista.
You both stood to the side of the bar, talking while the identical drinks were being made. "Thank you for paying, you really didn't have to." "No no it's really fine. I wanted to.. I'm Dejun Xiao by the way, I think I'm in your chemistry class. What's your name?"
"I'm Y/N." "Oh are you Chinese!?" You nodded. "I'm Chinese as well. Are you from China?" "I'm from Hong Kong." "That's so cool! I'm from Guangdong." "Oh nice, nice.." The drinks were handed to you and you walked out together, strolling into the center of the campus.
"What class do you have next?" Dejun asked, sipping at his coffee. You took out a crumpled paper to examine the schedule printed on it. "I have biochem next." "Oh we have the same class!" Dejun announced. "That's crazy! Are you premed?" You asked him. "No, I'm studying forensic science. I want to be a homicide detective.”
Wow this guy is impressive. "Wow, that's awesome.. I want to be a heart surgeon.”
“That’s so cool!” "Thank you." You laughed at his energy. The two of you walked in the direction of your next shared class, conversing and giggling with each other along the way.
You reached your next classroom and found empty seats next to one another. “You can call me Xiaojun, by the way. I think it’s cooler than Dejun.”
“If you have to say your name is cool, then it’s not cool.” Another Asian man walked up to your row.
"Hey man! You're in here, too?" Xiaojun asked. "Yeah! It was a lucky draw." Xiaojun then motioned over to you, "This is Y/N. She's my new.. friend?" He smiled at you, looking for confirmation. Returning his smile, "Yes I am. Nice to meet you." The other male shook your hand and introduced himself. "Nice to meet you, too. I'm Kun."
"She's from China, like us!" Kun was surprised. "Really? Why did you come to America?" "My parents made me." You shrugged. "Wow mine did, too." Kun chuckled and sat down in the row of you and Xiaojun.
I left China, but China came to me. Maybe this year is destined to be good..
To be continued…
𝘲𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘪𝘳
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moons-and-stars-and-shit · 4 years ago
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Oh! Since you’re doing it, I wanna give one in !!
I’m 5”4-5”5 straight girl. I’m brown, so I have tanned skin and brown eyes, curly black hair and thicc, like yk what I meannn
I’m really nice, or try to be even though I have a RBF...I’m an ENFJ, Gemini (please don’t come at me, I’m not that bad) energetic and bubbly but just as mentally unstable hehe!!
I like to draw and paint, as well as other art related thingss, and love trying new things and up for anything, and athleticism is just not for me. I’ve tried. Ew.
I enjoy listening to people talk about their interests or helping them vent and am a good listener, who also tends to bottle things up and keep to myself (ahaha and that’s on childhood trauma.) (I’m kidding, I’m just trying to be funny loool 😃)
I love any types of food and activities, very low maintenance in general especially in relationships even though I’m a romantic and love making people feel loved, valid and happy hehe
But I will come at you and every insecurity of yours if you try me. But that’s only like extreme,,,(Is this too much? I’m so sorry!) and in general, more of a giver!
I am so so so sorry for making this long and difficult, I didn’t mean to!! Have an amazing day btw love!
🍰 for @sleep3deprived
Romantic Matchup
Suna Rintarou
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How yall met
You guys met because of a petty bet
Suna and the Miyas were at some party
The miyas had to DRAG suna out
Cause he just did not want to come
He was just sitting on the couch the whole time
Clearly looking bored
Which sparked a not so brilliant idea
“Hey samu, i bet i can get suna a date by the end of the night”
“The fuck? What are you cupid or sum?”
“Come on 20 bucks says i can”
Osamu took a second to look at suna practically passing out on the couch
“Alright bet”
Atsumu was trying he really was
But every girl he sent sunas way just ended up getting rejected
Suna wasn't really interested in talking to wasted girls
At this point it was just getting sad
So osamu butted in
He quickly scanned the room and his eyes fell on you
You had come to this party with your friends and you were the only one of them who wasn't black out drunk
In fact you had only came to this party to look out for your friends
So osamu decided to approach you
He was pretty honest too
“Hey my idiot brother is trying to get our friend over there to socialize and he's failing miserably”
“Uh….ok?”
“You seem pretty cool do you think you can go chat with him please”
You agreed just because poor suna looked like he was about ready to die
You walked over to him and began chatting
He had briefly mentioned something about him liking jelly sticks
To which you excused yourself and came back with two jelly sticks from the kitchen
Oh he fell in love with you right then and there
“Pay up tsumu”
“Ugh fine”
What they love about you
He loves how low maintenance you are
Listen suna is a lazy little shit
So after a long day he just wants to come home and chill
And your ok with that
Yall have “stay at home” dates all the time
Probably do that more than going out on an actual date
He loves how you hype him up
Like this man could BREATH
And your like
Wow
What a perfect breath
You sir are a gift from the gods
Keep up that fantastic breathing
He loves your giver personality
Suna is definitely a taker
But in the most grateful way possible
He loves when he mentions something he's been wanting
And all of the sudden it's at his doorstep the next day
it shows him that you listen to him and that you care about him
Favorite things to do together
STAY AT HOME DATES
Suna doesn't like going out that much
So he loves just inviting you over and hanging out
These dates either go two ways
You ether cook dinner together and watch movies
Or y'all get takeout
Put on some music
And start having DEEP conversations
Either way it's a good time
Astrology
Gemini + Aquarius
Compatibility 85%
Gemini needs a partner who doesn’t bore them or make them feel inhibited.
When you look at things this way, you could say that there is no better match for them than the fabulous Aquarius.
Aquarius needs someone to understand their grandiose ideas and discuss each one with them, and also someone who doesn’t make them feel inhibited.
Who could do this better than Gemini? However, they could find themselves in a relationship that doesn’t have enough emotion and compassion, and this is certain to surface as soon as the first disturbing thing happens in the life of one of these partners.
They need to work on their emotional base and their non-verbal understanding if they want their relationship to last.
Overall Aesthetic
ChillCore
Songs-
Star shopping - Lil peep
YEAH RIGHT- Joji
You get me so high- The neighborhood
Moonlight- xxxtentacion
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morelikeastrhoelogy · 4 years ago
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Some astrological opinions
(positivity edition)
This is from a Cap pov ✨
Aries : Alrighty Aries ! I don’t have many Aries friends in my life, but I am an Aries moon and what I can say about the few Aries people I met is : even if you can be very confrontational and impulsive, at least I know you’re speaking what you truly think on the instant - like, you aren’t the type to stab people in the back, you stab your opponent and look him/her in the eyes. And do you know how rare it is nowadays ? Sometimes you can judge one’s moral values by the way they treat their own enemies. Also, you guys are young souls in the reincarnation cycle, hence why you often got so much energy to make bold choices or actions - and honestly, that’s refreshing, we need to feel new energies in our lives, which you always bring with yourselves ! 🔥
Taurus : Tauruses, I’m always so protective with you, I think you are so underrated ! Perhaps that’s because you are so reliable ? You are among the first people I instinctively trust when I get in a new school, a new town, and once you start sticking around someone, you don’t let them down - this may be part of your stubborn attitude ahah. You are what I would call « root » friends, and what’s really delightful with you is that we don’t necessarily need to know each other’s full life stories to share nice and warm moments together. Simple friendships are sometimes what we need the most to reconnect with ourselves, and you are the kind of people that always make people feel home. Also ? You know how to keep your close friends’ secrets - which don’t prevent you from judging them though 👀
Gemini : Alright, two of my very good friends are Gemini, and let me tell you : you guys are the people that make Caps like me feel fun when I have to do social interactions. There’s such a fun, dynamic energy with you and it’s contagious, you are my partners in crime and actually, long-lasting ones. For Earth signs, I think you bring this light-hearted vibes we desperately need sometimes, and I think the world would be definitely less bold and less funny without you to try out things I would secretely regret not trying. Also, when it comes to serious issues, you are among the first to help, even when I expect it the least, which makes you more trustworthy than what the cliché says. I wouldn’t say reliable though, but it’s not a criticism, it’s more because you have so many projects that you can easily adapt or change your plans depending on what you’re currently interested in. I’m speaking more specifically of Gemini girls here btw - sorry guys, I really don’t know you much... 🌪
Cancer : Cancers, you are the sweetest, most genuine and softest people I’ve ever known. I thank the Universe for sending you in my life, because you are the people that help me learning to embrace a softer, more vulnerable side of my personality, especially Cancer boys, who are among my best friends. As an Earth sign (and a Cap), I’d say we complete each other’s needs, and you guys bring us emotional liberation, which is priceless. You always care for you friends and you deserve to be cared about just as much, please don’t forget this. Also, Cancer girls : you are f i e r c e. And you know how many meanings can this word hold for you. 🧡
Leo : A round of applauses for the Diva of the Zodiac ! While it is true most of my Leo relatives and friends love attention and drama, they are actually the sweetest when their affection comes right from the heart and not from the ego. Most of them hold their eccentricity from a lowkey lack of confidence, though. You are the type of friends who will act generously to show your love, you just love to find the right attention for each of your friends and honestly, I am grateful for having a few Leo relatives because they always help me bringing out a more extrovert and fun side, just like Geminis. I’d say the difference with you and Geminis are that your energy comes from the fire of your heart while Geminis are literally free, non-rigid spirits, which give them the same vibes but I’d say you’re a bit more of a sentimentalist compared to them. Finally, I’d like to say that my father figure was a Leo too and he wasn’t necessarily « extra » like the cliché, Leos can be quiet and humble too, but their generous, affectionate heart will always betray them - when it’s not your ego, ahah. 🦁
Virgo : Dear Earth fellow, I think Caps and Virgos are very similar in their rational way of thinking and organizing their life. Along with Tauruses, you feel safe and I just know I can rely on you when I have a project going on. I’m not necessarily talking about business project, although it could be : it can be something personal, which is much more important, and I know I can trust you to have my back. You are very protective when you love someone - and also ? quite kinky for some of you. Yeah, people say you are control freaks, that you have a problem with authority but you know what ? Most of the Virgos I know don’t have that problem, or rather : they start off like this, and with time, they become of the chillest friends I know, unless when they start panicking about something they didn’t expect or didn’t know how to handle. You sure don’t like to feel your ego hurt, and you won’t spare your words when you attack back, but that’s also because you do know how to choose your words, almost like Water signs, but in a more calculating way - and I mean it in a neutral way, like it can be used to find peace in a argument too, because you are very observant of the people around you, what triggers them and what appeases them. 🦢
Libra : Libras, you’re going to hate me for making such a short passage for you, but truth is... I literally don’t know any Libra in my life. However, from what I know and the few Libras I met in my life, I’d like to say you do stand out with your aesthetic. People say you are always good-looking, but I think this beauty mostly comes out of the fact that your appearance matches your soul, your way of feeling and embracing yourself - and that’s incredibly sexy. Also, that’s definitely something ethereal with you, you are a free spirit like Gemini but even more regarding your social life. You don’t want to be chained to relationships, you let them go with the flow and I think that also comes from your intellectual and emotional attachment to freedom - like the other Air signs. ☁️
Scorpio : I don’t really get the hate around Scorpios. Just like Pisces, they are among the most loyal, dedicated and caring friends I’ve known, even if they may have some trouble expressing what they feel intensely. I don’t mind it, personally, I love how meaningful their little gestures can be, you just know it comes from a honest place ! Your friendships are solid ones too, once someone got your heart. People say you might be manipulative, but again, isn’t it the same reproach for every Water signs ? Tbh, unlike Pisces, I’ve seen you guys be criticized most of the time because of your blunt honestly, and not your lies. You’ re too proud not to say what’s on your mind when it matters to you. Finally, I also love your creativity, I think yours is quite underrated compared to the other Water signs’, I mean, when you channel your intensity into art, you guys come up with such great ideas, I had so much fun writing stories with my Scorpio friend ! 🖤
Sagittarius : My sis is a Sagittarius, and as chaotic our relationship can be, I must admit there’s no one braver than her in my life. She has this fire, this willpower that has always allowed her to bounce back in hard times, and I think that’s what I find most inspiring in Sagittarius. You guys don’t hesitate, you just chase your goals and desires and it’s basically what’s life is for ! Just remember you are allowed to be vulnerable sometimes. Also, I think you are actually very very smart, but in a cooler, « no big deal »way than other signs (don’t get me wrong though : you know your worth, and you won’t hesitate reminding people), I guess that’s what makes your humor so witty ! Oh, and your fashion aesthetic ? It always carries a part of your personality, you aren’t the type to buy clothes that aren’t of the quality or the brands you like. I actually think you are quite fashionable, but always in your own style. 🐎
Capricorn : Alright my dear fellows, time to give the Goat some appreciation time. Of course one of my best friends is a Cap, because between goats, we understand each other. While it would be difficult to find the good parts of my Cap personality, it is so much easier with this friend. Caps are reliable and loyal, the friendships we offer is made of iron, and we rarely break them, unless we feel truly betrayed or used. Just like Tauruses, we don’t like drama, or at least, we don’t like to start dramas - but judging people ? Oh h o n e y.... Anyway, that’s probably because we have more maturity and mostly self-control in social interactions. Don’t get me wrong : on the inside, we can hold grudges forever as long as our ego thinks it’s important. So, yes we are proud beings, stubborn ones, but that’s also what makes us succeed in our goals and rarely give up, despite our fear of failure and disappointment. Also, I think we can all agree that we are funny as hell, in the goofiest or wittiest ways possible sometimes. Finally, I wanna conclude with something : on the emotional level, we are a lot similar to Scorpios. What we feel is so authentic and dedicated that we often have a hard time to express it, especially since we are also like Virgos in our way of observing people and calculating our words. We might fear it wouldn’t be worth the risk, so we keep it inside and express our love in subtle, yet genuine and protective ways, with gifts or caring advises for example. 🐐
Aquarius : Ohh, Aquarius, I had the most amazing and heart-breaking friendships with you. I know a lot of people have a negative experience with Aquarius, but I think that’s because our own expectations of them end up being betrayed instead of accepting them as they are, including their boundaries and their conception of relationships. You don’t owe anything to any of your friends, if this friend doesn’t stimulate you anymore, on an intellectual or emotional level, you won’t fake it, you won’t force it, you just follow your guts, even if that person used to be your best friend or that person you used to text every day and night. Friendships last as long as you have fuel to feed them with these free spirits. These old souls don’t have time anymore to keep superficial friendships for old time’s sake, they want mature, profound connexion, and when they actually fall in love and let down their rational, cold-looking wall ? They become devotee of their lover. There’s no in-between with you Aquariuses : it’s ride or die, the spiritual, intellectual or emotional connexions you share are intense, often fusional for a time, and the best thing to do with you is to enjoy it while it lasts and respect your boundaries. 🌬
Pisces : Let’s end up with the oldest souls of the zodiac ! Maybe the ancient age of your soul explains why you understand so well the mechanisms of the soul ? I think you definitely are the moms of the Zodiac, more than Cancers, but that’s a bit despite yourselves. You didn’t ask for this, it’s something you genuinely feel, as your soul remembers its past experiences. I do think most of you guys partly suffer from this empathy and these overflowing emotions when you don’t manage to channel them through exercices or art. Tragic thing is, when you reincarnate, you forget you are an old soul, and yet, you are born with the feelings and intuition of an old soul, which can take some times to figure out. I think this is the main reason why people often accuse you of being toxic or having boundary issues. That’s why I also don’t agree when people call you the baby of the zodiac. You are no baby, you are the oldest of them all, and you don’t know what to do with what your soul has acquired during all these past lives. Also, even if you are caring and very compassionate, you have to admit you do have a strong ego too. It’s okay, no need to repress it, everybody got one and we won’t throw rocks at you for showing it when you lose your temper 🌊
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salami2 · 3 years ago
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Hello!! I hope you are having a great day! <3
Can I request a danganronpa match-up? (if requests are closed, feel free to delete this)
I am a bisexual girl with dark red dyed hair and green eyes. I love to wear dresses, and I usually wear black cloths. I am very talkative and I love to socialize. Im easily intimidated and I dislike people who don't really talk, cold and serious people.
At first, I am very friendly, patient, not pushy or straightforward at all and I don't open up easily, but when i get comfortable, I become so loud and clingy, very very talkative and childish, a bit possesive, very direct and impatient.
My hobbies are studying astrology, philosophy, reading and listening to rock music.
In a partner, im looking for someone who is SMART, funny, not afraid to take risks, talkative, maybe childish and affectionate(my love language is touch, word of affirmations, acts of service). I am very sensitive and u can easily make me cry so I need a very understanding and non-judgemental partner.
I get bored easily and I love spontaneity. I need a braver partner than me because i can be a bit of a scaredy cat sometimes.
Im sorry for any grammar mistakes, I hope this is enough info <3
A/N: hello, dear! wow, this was a lot to go off of- but i got what you're looking for! i hope you enjoy with the matchup!
Warning(s): nothing much, mention of the word “whore”, mention of sleeping, mentions of eating, etc.
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i match you with...
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Kaito Mamota!
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⇨ oh, this man was head over heels for you! Was starstruck when you first met!
⇨ Very open and very clingy at first. He really wanted to date you, and honestly, you accepted it.
⇨ Which completely threw Kaito off-
⇨ But he played it off as the cool guy he is. Tried not to act surprised and super excited.
⇨ Lemme just say… he ADORES your hair. Like.
⇨ If you give him permission to play and braid it and shit, he’s the happiest man on earth!
⇨ I’m telling you, he’s so infatuated with you in the best way. Doesn’t matter how many times he sees you, he’s a red mess either way!
⇨ Whenever you’re just chilling and doing your thing, please let him lay on your lap or play with his hair while he’s sleeping.
⇨ He’s such an attention whore, I know, BUT BARE WITH ME!!
⇨ Just keep talking with him, he’ll listen.
⇨ And his way of showing love is acts of service. Making breakfast, buying amenities you need, etc.
⇨ He’s your knight in shining armour <33
⇨ Lil’ Idea (take it or leave it!): He'd take you to a astronomy museum for a date! You can show him all the constellations, enjoy the sights, and have a great time!
⇨ All in all: he’s the best boyfriend ever!
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@salami2
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starcloaked · 4 years ago
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thoughts on ur favorite cattails colony and/or your fav cats there!!
OKAY ive always been a mystic colony fan but i’ve found myself liking the mountain colony more and more lately... literally all the cats there r *chefs kiss* i may have changed my mind. i adore krampy, alisa, oracle, and savanna as much as the next guy but idk ive just never gotten as attached to nil or slip . OH and mossie i’m so sorry i just forget she exists sometimes... every time i think of her my brain is like ‘oh! that’s the youtuber cat!’ n that’s it adgshgshdgshajk
ok ok but the mountain colony!! first of all i love the territory black hares are the best items ever for boosting rep and selling things. i love the cool ass waterfall in the middle n esp the den spot it’s nice :] but the cats are the dealmaker lemme go through them (this may get long)
leo!! they strike me as a kind of like as a snobby rich kid but now that they’re an adult they’re having a mid life crisis and regretting their actions. they’re a so called free thinker type and i love that they like valerian i feel like they hoard it in their den and have a cute lil flower garden. to ward off their enemies. if video games were in cattails he’d play like fortnite and destroy kids at it for fun
jag jag i literally love jag so much i want them to marry me please mr falconstar i want jag to be my partner!! they’re prickly but have a soft side and a deep backstory i adore them with all my heart they have all my licorice root for eternity mwah. their character portrait is one of my favs too they just look so... I DUNNO their face just matches their personality it fits it’s perfect
luna!! lesbian. i know the cats in this game don’t have genders but they’re a non-binary lesbian i just know okay. my usual choice of mate bc we love a blunt healer girlboss ... every time they open up i almost cry tears they’re so cute !! mx luna my beloved i love to gift them diamonds i think they rlly like shiny stuff that reminds them of the moon n stars. astrology girl (gender neutral)
let’s see arthur! the way they talk is very charming i think they’re funny :] silly little guy they’re my friend and i love em sm. they seem like one of those ppl who has several of those talking fish mounts on the wall that they unintentionally scare kids with and feel bad about it. my knight in shining armor they’re probably one of the funniest characters besides krampy... i believe his catfish story i just know he keeps it in a gilded ice cooler with his suit of armor too heavy to wear around. would wield a sword
robin next!! they r my least favorite out of the bunch but theyre still very sweet i like how supportive they are!! i always gift them my butterflies and care them very much it’s just i don’t have as much to say abt them unfortunately :( friend though!! i think they spend a lot of time at the sacred temple they n coco would be friends i’m sure of it. perhaps even dating idk i don’t make the rules...
and DELTA I LOVE YOUUUU my beloved my beloved *shoves them in a heart locket*. have given me more cardinals and blue jays than i can count i just love how their like “hehe go play a prank w this!!” and give you one of the rarest items in the game <33 they’ve got that silly funny!! would love to be real life friends with this purple cat they seem like a ball pls god transport me into the kitty world i need to smoke some catnip with this mf prankster. if i picked them up and shook them around it’d make that little cartoon jangle sound that lets you know no thoughts head empty
pebble is another sweetie... don’t have as much to say abt them like robin but i can appreciate someone who appreciates rocks. likes to go mining in their spare time and r best friends with the moles... catches mice more than anything and brings home boring little rocks but it’s cute so no one mentions it. calls themselves a geologist but when you ask them what a rock can tell them they lean down and pretend to listen to them like they’re little guys. u can’t tell if they can seriously talk to rocks or their just joking bc the bit is so serious. might be the forest guardian themselves
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writersplight · 4 years ago
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sometimes life’s a bitch and then you keep living.
Connie remembered everything about that night.  It was raining, and it was late. About two in the morning. The car was stuffy, but he didn’t want to be anywhere else. His girlfriend and childhood friend, Sasha, was silent. It was weird, because she usually picked him up blasting music and having something to say. But tonight—that night—she had nothing to say to them. Usually the cliffside view was beautiful for a sunset, and they’d hold hands and laugh until they decided they were tired enough to go home. It would be hours at a time. Sometimes, they’d buy McDonald’s and rant about the world, sitting on the car hood with just each other. 
“School starts up again next week,” she started, quietly, her eyes on the wheel.  “Yeah. Spring break was not long enough—”  “It never is for you,” she snorts, and he rolls his eyes. She was right. No matter how long the break, Connie always complained about school. It’s not totally his fault that he feels stupid in every class he has; even the one he gets B’s in. Sasha wasn’t like that in all her classes, she excelled in science and math, and even though her mind was dead by the time she got to English, she still did well. Intellectually, she was superior. He didn’t mind—he was too preoccupied celebrating her academic achievements to compare himself to her.  “Yeah. I’m not a fan of—”  “It’s still raining. . .” It’s weird that he never got to finish his sentence. Maybe she was afraid he’d say something to make her stay. Not that he would have. “Nothing good ever happens when it rains.”  She started the car again, and Connie, who was trying to figure out why his heart was starting to sink, kept quiet. He was never quiet. He always had something to fill the silence with. He wanted to tell her about his parent’s divorce, but he couldn’t he couldn’t find the words. It wasn’t the time.  As they pulled up to his lawn, the rain started to come down harder, and everything finalized in his mind.  “Who is it?” he asked, quietly, finally getting his one sentence in. Sasha grips the steering wheel tightly, but she was glad he got the memo—they were breaking up. She already soft-blocked him from all her social media, but he wouldn’t know that until morning. “Niccolo,” she finally says, and he nods. He knows of him. Blonde VoTech student, succeeding in the culinary field. Of course that would win over the brunette—the way to her heart is through her stomach.  He swallowed dryly.  “See you at school?” he wouldn’t meet her eyes, hand on the car door.  “Oh, Connie. . .” her face got dark. She wouldn’t look at him. He was standing in front of her on his lawn. He doesn’t remember moving. “No.”  She drove off.  Connie spent the rest of freshman year, and all of sophomore year avoiding Sasha and her boyfriend. He’s never seen her happier, and he didn’t want to interrupt that. Despite, you know, wanting to be the cause of her happiness. He heard them laughing a lot. It was torturous.  He was always dizzy, and kept his hood up to prevent the bright lights from reaching his eyes. He was starting to find comfort in the darkness that once scared him. The unknown of it all really put him at ease. It did keep him up, though. Pros and cons.  “Connie!” Sasha finally caught up to him, midst of junior year, grabbing his arm so he wouldn’t run. The cars were starting to pull away around them, so she pulled him to her car. He kept his eyes on the asphalt ground.  “What’s going on, man? You’ve been avoiding me for so long! Marco, Jean, and I were trying to—”  The world turned red, and spun. Distantly, he questioned, “What?”  “Why have you been avoiding me?”  “Why?” he repeated, dumbfounded.  “Yeah,” she cocked her head to the side like he was confusing her. Shoving his hands in his pockets, his eyebrows furrow.  “Sasha. . . You broke up with me. What do you mean?”  “Yeah, but—”  “You blocked me on Instagram and Snap,” he pointed out, getting angrier. His hands were starting to shake. “You started avoiding me first!”  “Yeah, but. . .”  “Am I an asshole for returning the favor?”  “No, but I miss you.” she pouted, twiddling her fingers. That’s the last straw.  “Sasha, we’re not in middle school anymore! That pout won’t work. I’m sorry you missed me, but I’m not willing to let myself hang around and wait until it’s convenient for you to feel up to being my friend again. That’s not fair to me.” She was starting to get upset, he could see that. But he’s been upset for months upon months. It’s almost been two years.  “You’re so happy with Niccolo, then make friends with his friends. No need to involve me.”  “But. . . You’re my best friend, Connie,” she reaches for his hand, but he yanks his arm away.  “I was, wasn’t I?” he steps
back. “Well, everything must come to an end.”  “Wait!” she cried out, and he found himself waiting. It angered him that he was still willing to listen to her. He turned back to her, eyebrows raised. “How. . . How did you move on?”  “Move on?” he thought about, removing a hand from his pockets to fix his falling hood. “I didn’t. I probably won’t ever ‘move on’, but. . . I just take one step at a time. It’s all I can do.”  “I miss your company.”  Connie went silent, eyes on his beat up converse. The wind picked up. He didn’t have anything else to say. Sure, he missed his best friend, too, but it’s not like she unblocked him or truly made an effort. He shrugged, turning on his heel. There wasn’t much else he could do. He was so close to being roped back into her friend loop. He couldn’t do that to himself. He tried, at first, to make amends, but she always turned him down. Connie couldn’t keep waiting.  Connie spent a lot of his high school life working. He wanted to save up for something fun to do with friends. Marco and Jean offered not many ideas, but it hit the buzzcut teen when he was trying to sleep one night—a camp out. In the woods not too far behind his house. There’s this clearing he used to use that’s perfect.  He sent out a massive group text. That included: Jean, Marco, Annie, Bert, Reiner, Mikasa, Armin, Eren. . . His thumb hovered over Sasha’s contact. He frowned. He skipped over her, and sent the text. Despite it being one in the morning, everyone seemed on board. They spent the next hour finding a date. They decided upon July 12th, where they all had time to call out and arrange accordingly.  That date. . . In fifth grade, that’s when Connie asked Sasha out. They dated until freshman year. It was wild how the universe works. He agreed upon the date and marked it in his calendar.  After graduation, he continued working. He still had a few months before he was going away to college, and he still had the whole camp out to put together. He found himself hanging around Annie and Mikasa a lot. He didn’t expect them to be so hands on with the project, or into it at all—considering how they tended to not be huge talkers—but they were. It didn’t make sense to him, but he had fun organizing it with them.  It all came to him at the end of the night, after grilling hot dogs and hamburgers for dinner. He was sitting in a lawn chair, staring at the stars by himself, with this big dopey smile on his face. His hand was around his soda bottle. Annie and Mikasa pulled chairs up to sit with him.  “You seem happier than you’ve been in years,” Annie points out, handing him a bottle of root beer. He opens it for her, nodding along to what she said.  “Yeah. I am.”  “Does this mean you’re over Sasha?” Mikasa sends a glare to the blonde, and Connie finds himself laughing. It was funny how people still treated it like a sore subject.  “No. Yes? I’m able to talk about it, but it still hurts. It’s everything and nothing at all.” He adjusts himself in his chair. He bought a tent big enough for them all to lay in, and he managed to be assigned to the very girls sitting next to him. However, he was focused on the stars.  “I’m glad you’re feeling better,” Mikasa settles on, not being too good with words. That’s something Annie and her shared—their difference was Mikasa had a heavy filter, where Annie’s filter was non-existent. She thought about her words heavily.  “Me too. It’s good to be hanging out with my friends again. I’m sorry for, you know, being shitty. I didn’t mean it.”  “It was a tough breakup. Don’t worry about those it doesn’t concern.” Annie advised, taking a swig of her soda.  “It does concern you guys, because you’re my friends and I wasn’t there for you. That’s how I see it, and I’m sorry. But, yes, it was tough. I tried to ignore it but. . . Well, there are some things you can’t avoid in life. I had to deal with it.” Connie explained, looking into his soda bottle. He’s glad he found his way out. He just got so tired being sad that he had a breakthrough. Some aren’t as lucky, but he was never the
forever-brooding type. He was much more comfortable as the clown of the group.  “And you’re better now for it,” Mikasa says softly, turning to him. She placed a hand over his, and Annie took his other hand. His face grew hot, but they all looked at the stars. There was comfortable silence between them. Slowly, Connie intertwined their hands together. In the distance, Jean and Eren could be heard bickering about trees. Weird topic for them, but it was normal.  “We both like you, Connie,” Annie finally said, “and we’d like to figure out what that means.”  His smile grew, finally tearing his eyes away from the stars. He looked between them, and found that they weren’t joking with him. He’d never think he’d go from dating, to sadly single, to being fine with being single, to possibly having two girlfriends. Life was crazy in that way.  “Okay,” he said, turning his direction to the stars. It got quiet again, but the conversation started back up when Connie mentioned he didn’t know how to piece together constellations—or something along those lines—but Annie did. She spent the hour before bed teaching them about how to find north, and some constellations that she could find. Mikasa, on the other hand, had a handful of knowledge about astrology, and told her lovers all about it as they turned in for the night. Connie was set in the middle, with his arms around both of them.  When college came around, it turns out that Annie was going up north. Mikasa and Connie were also going up north, but for a different college. They decided to buy a two bedroom apartment together and to just commute. It was weird to live with two girls prone to bickering, but Connie was always able to compromise. On top of that, they all were pretty good at communication between each other.  When Mikasa was feeling left out, she sent a text explaining herself the best she could, and her two lovers always figured out a way to make it up to her. Same with Annie. The blonde and black haired girls were always able to communication to Connie how they were feeling, and they genuinely listened to Connie when he spoke—especially if he cracked some stupid joke; they love his shitty humor. They loved him. He, of course, loved his two strong girlfriends, and never felt emasculated—he enjoyed watching them outlift in the gym, and was very encouraging.  He’s grateful for them, and couldn’t ask for better girlfriends.
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