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sunkissedchld · 1 year

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𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃

𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍 𝒄𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒚

the piles go from left to right. therefore, pile one is the new jeans CD, pile two is NCT, and so on and so forth.

take your time to use your intuition to choose the pile that will best resonate with you. lastly, please don’t be afraid to say if the message resonated or not. it helps me in determining if my interpretations are correct or not, and i appreciate any sort of feedback - even if it’s “bad”.

good luck to you, reader 💿

𝐃𝚰𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐀𝚰𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐒:

this PAC includes mentions of specific celebrities! this is in an attempt to describe the energy of each pile.

in one pile's moodboard example, i use a tweet from stan twitter to visualize how one's fandom might be. i don't necessarily agree with the example tweet, but it was a good example of the pile's energy, so i used it. it doesn't imply or show my true feelings about that fandom or artist.

additionally, sections of this PAC make reference to adult topics such as sex, drugs, alcohol, addiction, and more. please use your discretion when reading your or each pile.

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈

Cards:

Queen of Swords, The Fool, Four of Wands, Two of Coins

King of Wands (Rx), Ten of Cups, Eight of Cups (Rx), The Devil, Four of Coins, Nine of Coins

Page of Coins, The Emperor

Knight of Swords (Rx), Ten of Swords, King of Swords, Page of Cups

The Star

Reading:

those who chose this pile would be soloists.

the music you make would be hard-hitting and active! tons of choreography would be involved, and you'd make people want to learn your dances even if they weren't professional dancers! a significant amount of your songs might even go viral on platforms like tiktok. your music would be a fresh breath into the music industry; you would probably write your own songs and not be afraid to venture into a variety of music genres. you might do surprise releases (like beyoncé did with her self-titled album)! you'd gain tons of success with your works, so much so that you'd end up throwing celebration parties often due to it! you might find it hard to keep up with so much work (you're probably booked and busy with interviews, concerts, promotions, etc.), but you also love the lifestyle, and that energy shows through the music you make.

in your musical career, you may come off as some sort of diva who knows how to talk their way to success. you come off as someone who has a great personal and professional life. you would have the type of career and life others' dream of having. you may stay in a healthy relationship. again, most of your songs would be upbeat and about happiness - which may be a breath of fresh air in relation to more emotional, heavy music. as you continue throughout your career, you may lean towards that emotional music because of depression or life struggles. you may be worried about the future of your career after your "prime". this might be after a period of time of years of hard work and seemingly little rest; you might fall into addictions to materialism, drugs, or alcohol. you will be protected though! people will be looking out for you and steer you back onto the right path which will keep you from going downhill.

your fans would look up to you a lot. it's giving "these are my kids" energy. you may pay off their student loans or even party with some of them on a night out if you see them. you might appeal to a younger crowd - teens, college, and early adults. your fans see you as fair and as a pillar of authority. they look to you to determine how to move and act as a fandom. you act as the compass for order in their eyes. whatever you say to do, they will do. want to win a specific award? your fans will make sure they buy enough albums and vote enough for you to win it. want to collab with a specific artist? your fans will flood that person's timeline to make sure you two interact. it's almost like they fulfill your wishes! it reminds me of the saying ARMYs have about "anything yoongi wants, yoongi gets".

the general public may have some conflict with you. some people may be prejudiced towards you (maybe because of race, gender, sexuality). some of the public will be hasty to judge you and bash you. this feeling will change fairly quickly. the public will realize they were wrong to judge you and feel horrible about what they did. some people may pray for your downfall and instead bring their own because it's like negativity towards you is reflected back on those who want to harm you; this goes back to you being heavily protected. in the end, the general public will see you as trustworthy and fair. some will think you're very innovative and great at executing your creative ideas. you could become a county's favorite artist. kind of like how Girls Generation is seen as the "Nation's Girl Group'' in South Korea - that would be your title as a soloist. the general public would end up doting over you and loving you.

Playlist:

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈

Cards:

Knight of Swords, The Devil, Four of Wands (Rx), The Hermit

Four of Coins, Five of Cups, King of Wands

The Moon (Rx), The Sun

Page of Coins, The Emperor (Rx)

Ace of Coins

Reading:

those who chose this pile would be in a musical group.

you'd probably be the main rapper in this group. your group's music would be fast-paced and energetic. tons of choreography and you all would do major concept changes often. you all would also travel often or experiment with different cultural music. your sound would be bold - you might talk about taboo topics (ie. addiction, sex, violence, obsessions, death). your music might get spoiled before release. there may also be some times when the album is expected to debut on a certain day, and it isn't released until later - maybe because of music clearances or lack of preparation. your music would force people to confront difficult life topics instead of ignoring them. you all would also help people with mental health issues because they relate to the music so well.

your group would achieve a ton, but i still think your company would be a little tight on finances. your company may be cutting it close to making payments on time, but you and the other members would be financially stable. the company would stay afloat, but it's like they struggle with money management maybe? you also would have a strong fanbase and a strong personal group sound (even while exploring so many genres). i feel like your company's struggles would impact the group and bring down morale. you all would have good successes but it's like your company takes you one step forward and three steps back. regardless, you all pushing through would just create more inspiration for music which in turn makes your fans appreciate and relate to you all more.

i feel like fans would feel very protective and proud of you. the mismanagement of funds happening within the company would be revealed to the fans and public, but your fandom still has fierce loyalty to you all. they outwardly call out the mismanagement and want better for you all. you might have a lot of sasaengs because of fans' fierce loyalty to you. specific to you, fans may feel like you're very masculine or heavily into you masculine energy. you may be seen as the "sunshine" of the group. people look to you for happiness; there may be tons of compilations of your funny moments. you're like a light to a room to your fans and others.

the general public learns a lot from you all. that sounds nice, but i think they mostly learn how not to run a company. you all definitely start important societal conversations on taboo topics like explained before, but that really gets overshadowed by company misadventures. people may see your company as young and maybe ignorant of how to be run? they'll feel like your company is abusing their power. you all may not get tons of promotion, so you may only be known to the public for your company's failures.

Playlist:

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐈𝐈

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠

Cards:

Six of Swords, Nine of Wands (Rx), Three of Coins (Rx), Page of Swords

Knight of Wands (Rx), King of Cups, Page of Cups (Rx), Three of Cups, Nine of Coins (Rx)

Five of Swords (Rx), Five of Coins, Five of Cups (Rx), Knight of Swords (Rx)

The Hierophant, Three of Wands (Rx), Six of Cups (Rx)

The Wheel of Fortune

Reading:

those who chose this pile would be in a musical group.

you'd probably be a vocalist. your music would have a theme all throughout your discography. it would be very consistent, and the albums would play beautifully altogether. each song would fade into the other and almost seem like a movie with just music. people may think you steal songs or there might be plagiarism controversies. someone from the group might be ousted, and that may be talked about in the music or hang over the group for a long time. this might be connected to the music you make in that your group isn't afraid to talk about being left behind and having to forge your own journey. someone in the group may be lazy.

i think your group might break up, and you become a soloist? then, you'd be left to prove your worth in the music industry. you would come out on top, and let people know that you have a message that you're getting out regardless of the struggles you have to go through in order for it to be heard. i think ultimately you'll be left to work behind the scenes in the music industry - maybe as a songwriter or producer. it'll be the situation of people wanting to hear your words and you wanting to get them out, but it only materializes when it's told through someone else if that makes sense.

your group career would be very messy. again, some members would be lazy; others would have bad attitudes and either be jealous and even violent. there's tons of in-fighting between members, and it's a major mess for everyone involved. you personally will not be like that though! you'd be the member others feel like they can trust and confide in. you're insightful and might even protect your members who are being bullied or on the receiving end of jealousy. similarly to pile two, your group's album would experience delays - due to plagiarism, samples not being cleared, lazy members, etc.

your group produces music that's similar to what you all would be experiencing - troubled and emotional youth, manipulation, moodiness, immaturity, and unrequited love. despite all the in-group issues, you all would experience success for a time! ultimately, it will go away due to company mismanagement and all the group issues coming to light.

fans might not like you because of what messy group members say about you. they'll say you're attention seeking and manipulative even though it's other members doing those exact things and NOT you. you might feel isolated because of the hate you receive. you may think no one likes you, and you might stare off during interviews because you're being ignored. you'd feel really lonely. as you keep going, you will gain strength and feel confident enough in the fact that you know you're a good person despite others believing the opposite. you'll know your truth is more grounding that others' lies. i think this is what will ultimately lead to you preferring to be behind the scenes rather than in the light of the music industry.

i don't think the general public will hate you as much as fans seem to. the general public would be way more understanding of circumstances and would be willing to hear your side of the story rather than blindly believing you members. you'd have a major impact on the collective, and you might even become an expert in whatever you do behind the scenes. i think people will see that you were used by the machine called the music industry and would feel for you. i also think the public would pick up on the fact that you eventually feel unsure about your musical abilities. they'll see you as disorganized because of how the industry left you. your past would be at the forefront of the general public's mind, so it would be best for you to work behind the scenes, so the music can speak for itself rather than you speaking for the music.

Playlist:

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐕

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐬𝐦

Cards:

Five of Swords (Rx), Queen of Coins (Rx), Six of Wands, Strength

Queen of Wands, Knight of Wands (Rx), The Magician, The Hanged Man (Rx)

Page of Swords, King of Swords, Three of Wands

The Star (Rx), Seven of Cups

Four of Cups

Reading:

those who chose this pile would be in a musical group.

you'd probably be a main dancer and a vocalist (but not a main vocal). your group's music would be shocking. it would deal with topics like manipulation, gossip, paranoia, and the theme might revolve around uncovering secrets and overcoming those who want to harm you. almost like a horror concept! i'm slightly reminded of xdinary heroes or even rage against the machine. your music would seek to uncover immorality in the world and put it in the face of society instead of trying to hide it like we've been taught to. super unique concept! your listeners get the feeling that they can uncover and fight through anything after listening to your music. the music is very strong (maybe even in the rock genre for some of you), and there's a confidence in the music (including sexual confidence).

there's strong sexual themes in your music. femme fatale and dominatrix vibes are present. this group would be filled with strong female figures who are confident in who they are. in some instances, you all want to be seen as arrogant in order to provide a view of women that's not often seen in the music scene - at least not in a way where women are in control of their own power. this group would play off of gender stereotypes and archetypes in order to make a point to society. again, super creative concepts, and it might even include the occult! like divination tools might be seen in the background of some of your music videos. the point is to show young women that they can be powerful and also know when to hold back in order to show all sides of that power.

your fans might be on the younger side - teens and young adults. they will like giving you handmade messages and gifts. it's almost giving you being the older sibling, and your fans are the younger sibling who looks up to you. they learn a lot about themselves from you, and see you as this intellectual that has great creative ideas. they also see you as just and fair and might come to you for advice. they may see their future selves in you and look up to you because of that. both of you have tons of love for one another (it's so cute!).

the general public may not really like you. you may disappoint them because there's this societal view they have of how gender roles should be enforced or how your group should behave, and you all totally go against that. it's like they're thinking "that group would help themselves out if they just followed with the standards. they make it hard on themselves". they see you all as immoral and a bad influence on the younger society. they also see you all as delusional.

reader's note: do not think of the general public's view as a bad thing! personally, it's important to remember that change only comes when society is forced to confront irrational and prejudicial thinking. if anything, the general public viewing you as this is a compliment in my opinion.

Playlist:

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐕

Cards:

The Lovers, Eight of Swords, The Emperor, Queen of Coins, The Star

The High Priestess, Ten of Cups, Knight of Swords

Five of Cups, Six of Wands, The Hermit

The Chariot

Reading:

those who chose this pile would be in a musical group.

you'd be the face of the group/the center - maybe a visual position? your group focuses on love songs and relationships. you all would talk about all the ups and downs of creating, maintaining, and losing relationships. i feel like on the outside, the concepts of each title track might be visually very different, but the major theme of relationships would always be present. for example, there would be a very rosy and cheery song about how in love you all are in a romantic relationship (like a Twice title track), and then your next comeback would be more solemn and serious about how you lost a loved family member or something like that (like what's mentioned in DaBaby's "Gucci Peacoat"). you all would have long lasting careers and be seen as good senior musicians. you all would probably be very personally involved in the music making process. your music would be very comforting and relatable for whoever listens to it. i think you'd give many people hope when it comes to handling relationships.

i feel like the group's music heavily focuses on emotional connections - so much so that spiritual and occult elements might be present in the process or music videos and things of that nature. your group might be seen as mysterious outside of the music you all make. it's like you all are only focused on the music aspect in the public eye and don't really reveal a ton about your deep personal lives (like siblings or TMIs or things like that). you all really want to emphasize the music! you and your group members would be very close in personal and professional life! you all may feel more like family members rather than friends which will translate into the music. it's like you all will recognize that you'd achieved your dreams all together and you would cherish one another greatly for that. you all may be internationally famous or gather fame quickly - maybe as soon as you debut! it also may be super easy for you all to make and release music.

i get very despondent energy from your fans for some reason? they may frequently feel disappointed with you all - maybe because of how different title tracks and aesthetics can change for you all? it could also be that they're the type of fans that are always focused on how much bigger you all could be, so they never stop to appreciate how far you all have come and therefore they seem ungrateful. they will eventually get over this though! so maybe in the beginning they feel disappointed about how little known and unappreciated you all are, but when you blow up they feel very proud of your successes and feel like all of yours and their effort has paid off. your fans will look to you for guidance and support when it comes to mental health issues and gain personal strength from you. they may like how withdrawn you and your group can be when it comes to disclosing personal information.

i didn't get any cards when shuffling to ask how the general public would view you. i only got the bottom of the deck energy which was The Chariot. i feel like this means your success will be so widespread it's hard to contain how the public views you to a couple tarot cards that may give a more in-depth explanation. they'll see you and your group as having great drive and ambition that leads you all to great success despite a long, uphill battle that comes with pursuing a musical career. i feel like they'd be especially impressed because you all come from a small company? it's like you all started from the absolute bottom to become major stars, and the public finds that admirable.

Playlist:

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐕𝐈

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐠𝐲𝐧𝐲

Cards:

Nine of Cups, The Emperor, Four of Cups, Five of Wands, Six of Wands, The Empress

The Sun, The Fool, Five of Coins (Rx), Three of Wands, Knight of Coins, Four of Swords, Knight of Cups

Three of Cups (Rx), Strength, Page of Coins

The High Priestess (Rx), Five of Swords, The Star, Six of Swords

Ace of Coins

Reading:

those who chose this pile would be a soloist.

off bat, you'd be super successful! i get the feeling you'd always be happy, and that might translate into your music. you may encourage listeners to be happy and invite abundance and gratefulness into their own lives the way you welcomed it into yours. i think you'd be very hands-on with your music, and you'd take the reins in everything you do - i'm almost reminded of beyoncé and how people view her as a perfectionist about her work. despite your perfectionist tendencies, you'd definitely be open to others' ideas, and you'd be nice to work with. people wouldn't have a bad word to say about you in that aspect. you'd be super hypnotic as a celebrity, so people would totally be drawn to you. i think you'd be open about all the "goods" and "bads" of fame. you'd talk about how financial abundance and overflowing love from people is very enticing, but isn't all it's cracked up to be. you'd be open about your struggles, and people would find that refreshing and admire you for your honesty. i think your spirit guides would be guiding you to and throughout fame because you were destined for it. you'd be spiritually protected.

you'd exude energy and success in your music. you might even make perfect manifestation music! your music would be very original, and i believe you'd write music directly from your heart. you wouldn't worry about being "too vulnerable" because you want to be because it's like that's the essence of music for you. you take setbacks from your life and still find hope in them in order to take good from the indecipherable bad. i think that's what would make your music most unique. you'd treat music as your past, present, and future and because of how close you hold it to your heart, it becomes obvious in your music. the point of your music is to show personal growth, and people would connect with that immediately. i also think relationships and romance would be important in your music since your emotions would always be in your songwriting. your breakups, makeups, and new connections would always be written and released to the public - i'm reminded of Taylor Swift and Ariana Grande.

fans (or maybe more so the general public?) may see you like the two artists i just mentioned are viewed - promiscuous, always in a relationship, and maybe even excessive and overindulgent in life and financial endeavors. others will say that you're confident in yourself and your sexuality and find that empowering. they see you as someone who is secure in themself and doesn't need public approval to do whatever you want. there's a subtle, grand confidence in you that people see. your fans may want to be like you and be students of you, writing your every word down. you might be popular with teens and young adults.

the general public will see you as someone who is secretive and doing shady things behind the scenes. they'll feel like your energy and personality is too good to be true. they'll say you're immoral and maybe even involved with the illuminati or something like that. some might even say you're misusing spirituality or witchcraft to get your fame. people would want to speak negatively on you and cause you distress; they might often engage in smear campaigns to lower your credibility. for others, you give them hope. overall, people's negative intentions will not matter because, as said before, you'd be heavily spiritually protected. you'll be able to brush off smear campaigns and negative, false publicity very easily. your foundation is too strong to be broken by bullies and those who are so miserable in their own lives they push it onto others.

Playlist:

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐕𝐈𝐈

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐬𝐞𝐱, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

Cards:

Knight of Swords, King of Coins, The High Priestess (Rx), Three of Cups (Rx)

Ten of Swords, Nine of Swords (Rx), Three of Wands, Knight of Coins

Queen of Cups, Ten of Cups (Rx), The Fool, Page of Cups

Five of Cups, Five of Wands, King of Wands (Rx)

Judgment

Reading:

those who chose this pile would be a soloist.

you'd be very involved in the musical process. you'd likely write most (if not, all) of your music. anything you make is sure to be a hit. you're ambitious with your ideas, and you're quick to create and hop onto new trends. i get the feeling you wouldn't trust your musical abilities despite how they always seem to work out for you. maybe you need a ton of outside support to finally decide "okay, this is a good idea". you might even be older than expected when you become a musical artist. you might feel unfulfilled in life in general and especially in the music industry despite your successes. you might spend way more money than you have, or you might just flaunt your wealth excessively. you might rely on drugs, alcohol, or sexual adventures as an escape from your feelings of loneliness. it seems you'd be successful but unhappy.

your music may include information about the traumas you have. whatever is causing you to turn to your addictions will be explicitly mentioned in the music you put out. a lot of your music may mention themes like grief, depression, and hardship. it's like your music allows for you to constantly relive your traumatic experiences and that makes it hard for you to heal or create different thematic content if that makes sense. i think once you gained success you thought you would be happy, but it only made it worse because you realized fame and money does not automatically bring happiness. ultimately, i think those around you will urge you to gain confidence and help you to know you're on the right path. you'd slowly but surely become more emotionally stable and start traveling more and feeling more happiness.

your fans would see you as very in tune with your intuition and femininity or feminine energy. they'd see you as caring, sensitive, and emotional. i think that's because those are the elements you use to make your music. they also see you as wildly artistic and creative. they might feel like you come up with music and ideas that no one else would even think of. they'd see you as an innovator. i also think they'd see you as broken or coming from traumatic and undesirable circumstances. i think they'd recognize and feel your pain. they'd view your life in the music industry and your fame as a new beginning for you and would see it as a chance for you to be free from what's hurt you. they might like writing out their love for you through social media campaigns or through giving you handwritten letters. they'd see you as someone who is constantly growing and learning, and they'd feel happy seeing you happy.

the general public may have wishy-washy feelings towards you. they might find out about your addictions and feel disappointed with you. some people will feel empathetic and recognize how your misfortunes affect you and may have the view of "oh, it's horrible that they went through that. i hope they no longer do that and start feeling better and happier". others will feel like you're selfish and didn't appreciate what you were given if you engaged in your addictions while you were successful. they might think "they gained all that money and fame, so why even go down the route of addiction? they were just wallowing in their sadness". very different points of view, so the general public would feel split on their feelings towards you overall.

Playlist:

𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐬; 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠

Cards:

Ten of Coins, King of Wands, Five of Wands, Temperance, Four of Wands

Nine of Swords (Rx), The Emperor (Rx), Five of Swords, Three of Cups

The Devil (Rx), King of Coins, Six of Cups

Ten of Wands, The Hanged Man

Knight of Coins

Reading:

those who chose this pile would be a soloist.

you might be discovered purely by "chance". maybe you posted a song cover on YouTube or became popular on TikTok, and a label decided to pick you up. your music may have to do with your personal life like your family, how you gained your fame, your life history, and things of that nature. your music would be very motivational and strong. you may be very specific about your aesthetic and visuals because you want to stand out among the artist-filled industry. you would be super competitive when it came to the music game. you might be a rapper? i feel like you'd focus a ton on things like word-play. you also might like making society and listeners think about life, society, and spirituality/their life purpose. i'm reminded of artists like Jhene Aiko and J. Cole. you'd benefit a lot from your fame.

you may be a perfectionist about your craft. you might miss out on healthy sleeping and eating patterns while working on an album. you may love the idea of working yourself until you can't work anymore. you see the struggle of work as a labor of birthing these creative ideas and appreciate each time you can create something new. i know i mentioned earlier that a record label may have wanted to pick you up, but i think you might prefer to be an independent artist. you wouldn't want to be confined to company standards and expectations; you would want to focus on the music. people and companies may want you to fail because of this. they may intentionally block your music from being played on the radio or from being nominated for awards. despite this, you would still gain success from you giving to others and others finding your energy welcoming. a strong group (could be your fans or the collective) would ensure your success.

your fans would see you as someone that breaks free from the societal mold. they'd see you as someone that knows how to think for themselves even if the group wants them to think differently. they also see you as someone that knows how to keep going and growing when shit hits the fan. you'd be seen as someone that doesn't allow for life circumstances to bring them down. they'd see you as a successful business person who has the perfect ear for music and eyes for aesthetics. they may also see you as someone that is very guided spiritually. they can tell someone is watching over you to be sure you succeed in the industry.

the general public would see you as someone who made something from nothing. they may not view you as this huge, international superstar, but you would be somewhat known. some parts of the population would be able to recognize you from a photo or from the mention of your name. some of the public may feel like you're delusional in what you're trying to achieve (especially if you're an independent artist going against big companies). i think the general public would also be able to tell that you're spiritually guided and protected. parts of the public will like that you give a fresh perspective to them and the rest of society. you could begin an idea shift in the collective.

Playlist:

#tarot #oracle #pick a card #PAC #tarotblr #sunkissedchld #Spotify

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sjelaine · 2 months

Text

"Louisrock" July 7, 2024

I had a friend who lives in Turku where Ruisrock is held, so as soon as I saw that Louis would play it (back in November,) I contacted my friend to see if she would be home - she said yes! I bought an early bird ticket to the festival and had my lodging all set, so then I just needed an airplane ticket from California to Helsinki and a rental car. I then found out another friend (from the same fandom as my Turku friend) was going to Ruisrock as well, to see Käärijä, who as it happens was playing on the same stage as Louis but 2 hours ahead of him, so I had a friend to go to the concert with me! Normally I have to see Louis by my lonesome because none of my friends are in the 1D fandom, but it's okay because Louies are the nicest friendliest people out there and I am never short of new friends to scream all the words to Louis' songs with at the concerts. IMO this is the very best thing about being a Louie -- all the other Louies!

We got to the festival site two hours before doors opened so we would be sure to be toward the front. All the festival signs were in Finnish and my friend is Swedish and I'm American, so we had to rely on the locals to translate for us. I'm old and slow so I wasn't able to run when the time came, but by the time I got through the gates and located the line for Louis' show, I was only about 50 people back. The festival was INCREDIBLY well organized, clearing out each stage area after each performance so the people who had lined up for a specific artist could have a good chance of getting a good spot. And thanks so their expertise in handling crowds, I was able to maintain my position in line without having to run and thus got a spot at barricade! Thank you Ruisrock organizers and security *thumbs up*

I will mention that while waiting in line for 6 hours we were comfortable and there was a breeze and no rain. We also got to listen to Blind Channel and Käärijä's shows which were pretty hard-hitting and all in Finnish - the best part about that was all the Finns surrounding us joining in to yell the lyrics and pogo along to their favorite songs. The energy was amazing and I'm sure the other foreigners in line with me were appreciating the Finnish love of live music as I was. Don't forget we also got the Oli walk-by which was funny because he acted as though he was just passing us to get to the food stalls, but then he came back a few minutes later with no food and acting just as nonchalantly, so clearly he was there to check us out and report back. You go, Oli! Be sure to tell Louis what in idiot he is if he thinks we're not going to show up. Faith in the Fans, maybe?

Back to barricade: I had a spot right next to the staircase Louis would use to come off stage for Silver Tongues, and I took quite a few videos and photos although most of the songs are partial recordings and the pictures are basic iphone quality, but here's a link to all of my files in a Google folder. Please enjoy! Do with these as you wish :-)

Some observations I made while enjoying my 7th Louis show was that Joshua would run to a certain side of the stage, Louis would catch sight of him, and then he would head to that side of the stage... so it was almost like Joshua was calling the shots of where Louis should "pose." It also clued me in to start recording whenever Joshua came to our side because I knew Louis would follow - I got some great shots of Louis looking our way which I choose to believe were him looking at ME ;-) I also noticed that Steve would put a drumstick in his mouth to adjust something on his set mid-song, which I hadn't noticed before. And of course Michael and Matt were always heading to the center stage to join Steve in "getting down" which was fun to see. It would be great to see Louis playing the guitar and jamming with them, but then it would be harder for him to interact with the fans...

One of my favorite live show elements is the Baba O'Reilly mash up in WDBHG so I was very happy that Louis walked over and pointed my way when he sang it - so excited in fact, that my video suffered accordingly, but oh well. I didn't get lucky with him coming to our side of the barricade but hopefully at some show in the future I will. Faith in the Future!

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. Love you guys -

#louis tomlinson #ruisrock #my show #oli wright #fan experience

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starryjkoo · 3 months

Note

that 1billion project is such a poor idea and the way that it’s being run feels so sinister to me sometimes…

the fact that they (armys) started it after like crazy got 1B...

Oh, absolutely. They couldn’t even let 24 hours pass after LC hit 1billion before they started on this project, like they were in a hurry to co-opt the energy for LC and have it distributed to the other members. And I think that’s because there’s a good section of ARMYs who genuinely can’t comprehend the fact that Jimin has a really large solo fanbase (I don’t even mean just solos, just anyone who casually listens to his music). I’m not sure why they thought the energy for LC would suddenly transfer to this 1billion project when overall ARMYs have just been losing energy as time goes on in CH2.

They could have started this project anytime during CH2 or after Seven hit 1billion but they literally waited until the day that LC hit that achievement because imo it feels like so many of them use Jimin and his achievements as the goal-post for the entire group.

It’s like, why are they choosing to update that 1billion projection chart suddenly during Jimin’s comeback, knowing how the quotes/comments would just be full of people being vile. IIRC they did this during SGMB too, where they literally started pushing the 1billion project hard after it had been quiet for a few weeks. They even did it during SGMB’s 1st tracking week. I understand pushing some SGMB x 1billion goal focused playlists, but why entirely try to divert the attention from a NEW song if you’re actually OT7?

Like I said, they suddenly see a lot of energy on the timeline because Jimin is releasing music and they try to co-opt it to get people to push for other members too. And I understand to a point because they just think that this is the fandom being energized, let’s take advantage of it to boost the members that need a push, but… this is solo era. And the excitement and energy for Jimin’s music is because… people are excited for Jimin’s music. There’s just something off to me about trying to use the hype for Jimin, created by Jimin (because of his consistency with releasing music that resonates with the fandom and having engaging performances) and using it for other members.

Especially when doing so has led to so much nasty discourse being AIMED at Jimin, as if all the western stans and kpop stans and akgaes and shippers going after him nonstop every day wasn't already enough. And that’s why I side-eye the main people doing this, because they should know that by pushing this project in the way that they are, it just brings hatred towards two members specifically, and in particular Jimin when it’s during his comeback. Is it really worth it, instead of just setting more manageable goals for HL and using positivity and small improvements over time to encourage ARMYs instead? Isn’t that more practical to begin with?

Mind you, I know the reason that this is being pushed so hard by some ARMYs in particular is because they want the BTS members to get the achievement of “all members of a group with one solo song reaching 1billion” before the BP members do, and that’s just… so dumb imo.

Anyways sorry this got away from me, this 1billion thing is just really driving me up a wall lately for a lot of different reasons. And I want to specify I'm talking about some of the organizers and main people behind this project and not ARMYs at large (and ANOTHER disclaimer I don't think everyone organizing/pushing this project has bad intentions).

And ofc I wish we could do better for RL, but I feel like there are SO MANY different projects we could be doing instead of whatever this is, which imo is just so counterproductive and just brings hate towards Jikook, and especially Jimin considering they keep doing this during his comebacks.

#ask #jimin #discourse #fandom #and im saying this as someone who has rpwp as their #favorite album of CH2 #but maybe because i like indie/alternative music so much #i know that the numbers for those genres #will never be as high as pop #it is what it is #there are better ways to improve streams for rl #sorry for negativity #back to hyping MUSE & AYS 🫡

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allandoflimbo · 1 year

Text

Touching Himself

Bucky touches himself for the first time since coming back to his regular life. Then, he remembers how much he loves edging. He even calls himself a dirty little slut.

18+ ONLY. No minors. Seriously. This is filthy.

Fandom: Marvel/MCU/Bucky Barnes

This is a drabble. Just practicing some writing in between larger WIPs. There might be more coming, maybe.

———-

Three hours. That’s how long he’s been going at it.

By it, he means his cock.

He’s denied himself this ever since the blip. Not so much because he didn’t feel like he couldn’t do it, but because he never had the time or the privacy.

Between missions and saving the world, he rarely ever found a time where he had the energy to cum.

Some nights after his missions with Sam, he’d come him to his Brooklyn apartment, and take a nice warm shower.

He’d stare down his chest, watching as the droplets ran down his pecks, over his stomach, and over his aching dick.

It ached to be touched, stroked, milked, to be fucking ruined.

He would hold himself back. He’d drag his hand over his pelvis and sigh. He was too tired.

He had been tired for years. All he thought of for years was fight after fight. If the blood that ran down the drain, mixing with the water creating a pink haze was anything to go by.

He’d get dressed and tuck himself into his sheets.

The first time he was able to finally sleep in a proper bed, he finally did it. He felt relaxed and awake enough.

Legs stretched out, the left slightly bent in, his right hand lingered over his thigh. He tried to stay focused on the tv, the cool and inviting halo in the darling night cascading a glow over his sheets and his body. The volume was barely high. Low enough that when his fingers crawled towards his crotch, the sound of the fabric on his hand echoed in the room.

He looked down at this pants, noticing how hard he already was. He wrapped his hand around his shaft, just over his pants, and let out a long moan.

Finally.

Those were the words that hit him. During the day he would be whatever they needed him to be out there; fighter, Avenger, agent, whatever the fuck else. But here, alone, he would be a man.

But if there was one thing about Bucky that decades of warp did to him, was that he loved being a kinky little slut.

He even says it out loud as he flicks his pointer finger over and over and over and over…and over again over his dick, on that one little spot.

He didn’t even jerk himself properly that night. Just his finger flicking over that one spot, a inch off his eight inch dick, was enough to have him gasping in seconds.

“Come on, come on,” he started grunting through clenched teeth, his head shooting up at he looked down at his finger flicking his cock over his pants. His legs widened a bit more and he gasped, flicking harder, “make me cum. Make me fucking cum.” He was gasping at this point, his own hips thrusting up to meet his finger. His eyes didn’t leave his hand as he watched him doing this to himself, “that’s it,” he whines, sitting up slightly, finger faltering slightly from a cramp, but it works out perfectly because his finger moves up slightly just about a centimeter, right under his tip and against that one pulsing vein and spot, “yes!” He screams, flicking over and over and over and over and over again, “god yes.” He pants, watching as his grey sweat form a dark patch from his cum. He doesn’t stop flicking and a shudder runs through his body, “yes, yes, yes.” He repeats it, even through agonizing whimpers of over sensitivity.

Eventually he couldn’t take it anymore and his hand dropped over the damp spot on his leg.

That was the first time. Then there were the ninety others after that.

Needles to say, he was orgasm hungry. Seventy plus years did that to a man. Especially one who lived ninety percent of his days with no privacy and no time to properly date.

Weekends were usually the most convenient time for him. His favorite discovery of the new century were toys. There were so many.

He invested in three to start with and he got the hang of all three fairly quick. He experimented with himself. Different positions, different sensors, and his all time favorite activity; edging.

He loved edging so much.

There was something about the being on that peak of pleasure for minutes that made him obsessed with it. Not to mention, that he also loved dirty talking himself through it every time. And then when he’d let himself cum, it was worth it. He was his own little cock slut.

The only good thing to come out of this serum was the amount of cum that he was able to produce. It was enough to fill a cup to its peak. On night where he’d edge maybe four or five times, he’d be drenched in it. His stamina was also one for the books.

To be able to edge for so long and then edge again after cumming was unbelievable.

So he played with himself, literally and figuratively. He set goals to see how long he could edge for.

At first, five minutes was already brutal, then it was twenty, thirty, fifty, an hour.

He gasps as he felt his edge approaching. He quickly pulls his fleshlight off his dick with a groan.

“God.” He groans, stretching his legs farther apart, and throwing his head back.

His cock twitched viscously in the air, begging for that release that it’s been on the edge of for the last three hours.

Bucky was half sitting on the edge of his bed. His ass was barely on the sheets, almost sliding completely off, and his legs were stretched apart. He was covered in a thin sheet of sweat and he felt amazing.

His left hand was balled up into the sheets, gripping it tightly, almost ripping it. His right hand was holding the toy so hard, his knuckles were glowing white.

Bucky took in heavy breathes to bring himself back from that edge, staring at his dick with a wrecked look on his face.

When he felt safe enough to where one touch wouldn’t make him cum immediately , he took in a deep breath and raised the fleshlight back up.

The second the fake slit touched his tip he stopped and whined.

He could do this.

He bit his bottom lip and gasped, sliding the toy a littler farther down.

“Take it, fuck, wreck me” he growled, sliding the toy over himself slowly, “fucking destroy me,” his voice turned into a sob as he continued to move his hand, feeling his end again, especially as it ran over that one spot that made him see stars and lose any sense of control or dignity he had, “that’s it, that’s it,” he tilted his toy a little more to the right and he groaned, “that little spot, just like that, oh shit, oh shit,” he whined, he needed to hold it, he wanted to so bad, he didn’t want it to end, but it also felt too good to stop, “just a little,” he stroked it once more, way too close, so close it was almost dangerous and he could feel his semen stop halfway up his cock the second he pulled the toy off his dick, “more.” He cries.

He throws the toy aside and rubs his hand over his Adonis belt. He could feel the precum all over him. He was drenched in it.

Just the thought itself made him have to clench his teeth to stop from cumming.

“Not yet, not yet.” He repeats it over and over again.

He sits himself down properly, this time on the floor in front of his bed.

He’s in a daze and his heart is in his ears.

He looks down at his cock and he wraps his fingers around it.

He moans, letting his head fall back against the bed.

He strokes once, twice, and a third time.

“I can’t hold back.” He whimpers, tears prickling in his eyes.

Without hesitating, he grabs his shaft, and without even needing to stroke, he cums harder than he ever has in his life.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes smut #sebastian stan #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel #marvel fanfic #fanfiction #MCU #TFATWS #Winter Soldier

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sunkissedchldrecon · 2 years

Text

𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃

𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍 𝒄𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒚

the piles go from left to right. therefore, pile one is the new jeans CD, pile two is NCT, and so on and so forth.

good luck to you, reader 💿

𝐃𝚰𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐀𝚰𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐒:

this PAC includes mentions of specific celebrities! this is in an attempt to describe the energy of each pile.

additionally, sections of this PAC make reference to adult topics such as sex, drugs, alcohol, addiction, and more. please use your discretion when reading your or each pile.

𝐈

Your Playlist:

Cards:

Queen of Swords, The Fool, Four of Wands, Two of Coins

King of Wands (Rx), Ten of Cups, Eight of Cups (Rx), The Devil, Four of Coins, Nine of Coins

Page of Coins, The Emperor

Knight of Swords (Rx), Ten of Swords, King of Swords, Page of Cups

The Star

Reading:

those who chose this pile would be soloists.

𝐈𝐈

Your Playlist:

Cards:

Knight of Swords, The Devil, Four of Wands (Rx), The Hermit

Four of Coins, Five of Cups, King of Wands

The Moon (Rx), The Sun

Page of Coins, The Emperor (Rx)

Ace of Coins

Reading:

those who chose this pile would be in a musical group.

𝐈𝐈𝐈

Your Playlist:

Cards:

Six of Swords, Nine of Wands (Rx), Three of Coins (Rx), Page of Swords

Knight of Wands (Rx), King of Cups, Page of Cups (Rx), Three of Cups, Nine of Coins (Rx)

Five of Swords (Rx), Five of Coins, Five of Cups (Rx), Knight of Swords (Rx)

The Hierophant, Three of Wands (Rx), Six of Cups (Rx)

The Wheel of Fortune

Reading:

those who chose this pile would be in a musical group.

𝐈𝐕

Your Playlist:

Cards:

Five of Swords (Rx), Queen of Coins (Rx), Six of Wands, Strength

Queen of Wands, Knight of Wands (Rx), The Magician, The Hanged Man (Rx)

Page of Swords, King of Swords, Three of Wands

The Star (Rx), Seven of Cups

Four of Cups

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐬𝐦

Reading:

those who chose this pile would be in a musical group.

𝐕

Your Playlist:

Cards:

The Lovers, Eight of Swords, The Emperor, Queen of Coins, The Star

The High Priestess, Ten of Cups, Knight of Swords

Five of Cups, Six of Wands, The Hermit

The Chariot

Reading:

those who chose this pile would be in a musical group.

𝐕𝐈

Your Playlist:

Cards:

Nine of Cups, The Emperor, Four of Cups, Five of Wands, Six of Wands, The Empress

The Sun, The Fool, Five of Coins (Rx), Three of Wands, Knight of Coins, Four of Swords, Knight of Cups

Three of Cups (Rx), Strength, Page of Coins

The High Priestess (Rx), Five of Swords, The Star, Six of Swords

Ace of Coins

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐠𝐲𝐧𝐲

Reading:

those who chose this pile would be a soloist.

𝐕𝐈𝐈

Your Playlist:

Cards:

Knight of Swords, King of Coins, The High Priestess (Rx), Three of Cups (Rx)

Ten of Swords, Nine of Swords (Rx), Three of Wands, Knight of Coins

Queen of Cups, Ten of Cups (Rx), The Fool, Page of Cups

Five of Cups, Five of Wands, King of Wands (Rx)

Judgment

Reading:

those who chose this pile would be a soloist.

𝐕𝐈𝐈𝐈

Your Playlist:

Cards:

Ten of Coins, King of Wands, Five of Wands, Temperance, Four of Wands

Nine of Swords (Rx), The Emperor (Rx), Five of Swords, Three of Cups

The Devil (Rx), King of Coins, Six of Cups

Ten of Wands, The Hanged Man

Knight of Coins

Reading:

those who chose this pile would be a soloist.

#tarot #oracle #pick a card #PAC #Spotify

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geminiwritten · 2 years

Text

because why ; bones

fandom: star trek

pairing: bones x reader

summary: after five long years of pining for the doctor and a whole month of him acting weirdly distant you finally decide to go on a date, but when you get called in for your routine medical you end up finding out exactly why bones has been acting so strange

notes: i kind of like this even though it’s a bit messy, but i think i’m finally getting through my writer’s block! let me know what you think!

word count: 3958

“He asked you out?” Nyota gasps and turns to face you, abandoning the control panel she was previously very focused on.

You scowl, “keep your voice down, but yes, he asked me out.”

“Who asked you out?” Jim asks, appearing beside you.

“Great,” you sigh as Nyota offers an apologetic smile. You turn to your captain, “Finn asked me out.”

“The new nurse?” he queries, and you nod. “I’ve heard he’s pretty hot.”

“And tall,” Nyota says, a smirk on her lips.

You roll your eyes, “and a good nurse, and a nice guy.”

Jim chuckles, “you don’t have to justify yourself to me, we all need to get laid.”

You stand abruptly and smack him on the shoulder, “I’m not trying to get laid, I’m just going on a date with a nice guy, and if- well, I mean, I wouldn’t say no.”

“Been a while?” he asks, still giggling with a stupid grin on his face.

You sigh, “yes, Jim, it’s been a while.”

“Been a while since what?” Leonard asks as he comes up behind Jim, his PADD in hand.

Your cheeks burn and you lock eyes with Jim, a silent plea for him to – for once – keep his mouth shut.

“Since Y/N has been on a date,” he replies, and you let out a small breath of relief.

“Well, that’s a little hard to believe,” Bones says, at which point Nyota turns once again from her control panel.

“Why’s that, Doctor?” she asks.

He finally looks up, his gaze lingering on you before quickly averting to Nyota. “From what I’ve heard, she gets plenty of male attention,” he says before returning his attention to his PADD.

Jim and Nyota glance at you, and you can feel your cheeks burn even hotter. “Not from anyone that matters,” you turn on your heel and storm toward the door, almost stumbling in frustration as you exit the bridge.

You’ve known Bones for five years, meeting him mere minutes after Jim tried – and failed – to hit on you during a medical lab back at the academy, quickly realising that you were far more interested in the doctor who was TA for that lab than the soon-to-be-captain himself. And you’ve been hopelessly in love with him for just over four of those years, realising it yourself one drunken night when he treated your wounds after you tried – and failed – to jump one of the stone walls that separated your cadet’s accommodation building from theirs. It was all down hill from there, and despite your best efforts to get over it, you’ve spent the better part of the past four years resenting every woman that Bones has done as little as have a conversation with. It was exhausting, but you were too afraid to do anything about it for fear of ruining the friendship, which in the past month has been more strained than ever. You don’t know what exactly has happened, but since stopping at one of the Federation’s starbases for resupply and to pick up a new division of recruits, Bones has been distant, and it’s killing you.

Your feet hurt from stomping by the time you reach your quarters, and you’re more than relieved to shed your shoes and uniform before sprawling out on your bed. Focus on Finn, you told yourself, rolling onto your side and gazing at your open wardrobe to begin thinking of what you should wear on your date. It was always risky going on dates while aboard the Enterprise on her extended mission in deep space, but after several advances from the handsome new nurse, Nyota convinced you to try and move on from the doctor, so agreed to one date. You weren’t optimistic about it, but you rarely were about anything when it came to dating, not after four years of painful disappointment.

Eventually, you find the energy to shower and change into one of the few dresses you brought with you aboard; a short-sleeved, black wrap dress with a deep v-neckline that was a little bit sheer. You could still faintly see your bra underneath, but you decided that with the dim lighting on the ship at night, it didn’t really matter. The only shoes you have that aren’t steel-capped boots for your shifts down in engineering or black lace-ups for your shifts on the bridge, are plain black sneakers. They will have to do.

The crew lounge is located on the deck below the cafeteria, fit out with dozens of rounded blue sofas and a huge bar lining the back wall. There are small private rooms that were most likely built in for the sole purpose of onboard dates, and the whole level is dimly lit with huge floor to ceiling windows to display the dark expanse of outer space surrounding the ship. It’s one of your favourite places, primarily because you often end up here with Jim and Bones, and a few of the other crew members, after particularly long or stressful days.

Finn is already seated in one of the private rooms, but you decide that it would be best to help yourself to a drink before joining him, so you make a b-line for the bar. You quickly take a sneaky shot before pouring yourself a glass of something blue that smells like bubble-gum and making your way toward your date.

“Hey,” you say, sinking onto the sofa opposite him.

He looks a little tired, but perks up immediately at the sight of you, “hey, you look gorgeous.”

“Thanks,” you sip your drink, trying not to acknowledge the fact that the butterflies in your stomach are dormant, unlike when you receive the occasional and far less obvious compliment from Bones. Damnit.

“How was your day?”

You shrug, “the usual, long shift but Jim needed me on the bridge so at least I wasn’t elbow deep in some possibly radioactive warp core part.”

He chuckles, “you are the backbone of this ship.”

“Scotty would disagree,” you sip your drink again, “but thanks. How was your day?”

He groans, “awful, Dr. McCoy has been riding my ass since I got here, but this afternoon was just a whole new level of crap.”

“Oh,” you frown, “how so?”

“I don’t know, I just don’t think he likes me much, but he’s got me doing all the routine check ups and paperwork that no one else has time for. He came in right as I was due to finish and told me to do inventory on every medical cupboard aboard the ship.”

“That’s ridiculous,” you say, before realising your glass is empty.

“Yeah,” he sighs, “I was so sure he was going to make me stay back tonight so I told him I had a date and he just stormed off, muttering something about how ‘I don’t deserve it’. I think he means being on the Enterprise, but he hardly even knows me, I just don’t get it.”

You try to come up with something supportive to say, but all you can think about is the doctor, so you stand up with your glass in hand. “Another drink, then?”

He chuckles and tilts his still-full glass, “sure, why not?”

You hurry to the bar and take another shot of the blue liquid before pouring two full glasses mixed with whatever clear soda is in the fridge.

“I’m sorry about McCoy,” you say as you return to your seat, “he can come off as a bit of a-”

“Jerk?”

“I was going to say hard-ass,” you take a generous sip of your new drink, “but he gets better once you get to know him.” And fall in love with him, you refrain from adding.

“You’re good friends with him, right?” Finn asks, and you nod. “I don’t want to overstep here, but do you think you could talk to him, or even the captain? I know you’re close with him too.”

Your stomach drops, “oh, I- uh-”

“I mean, you don’t have to if it’s weird, I just-” he sighs again, “I just really want to keep this assignment, this ship is great and… well, now I’ve met you. I think having to leave might break my heart.”

He chuckles awkwardly at your dumbfounded expression. His heart? You don’t even know this guy’s last name.

“I’d love to help you out, but McCoy has been a little weird with me this last month too,” you say, “he might just be having a hard time. I’m sure he’ll warm up to you.”

“Yeah,” Finn finishes his first drink in one gulp, “hopefully.”

The rest of the night passes with pleasant conversation, and only the occasional awkward pause, but after several hours and probably one-too-many drinks, you both decide to call it a night. He walks with you back toward the lift and only when he neglects to press the button to his own level of residence do you begin to worry about what he might be expecting.

“When’s your next day off?” he asks, following you out of the lift and into the bright white corridor.

“Two days from now,” you reply, “I have three off because I’m needed planet-side at our next stop.”

He grins, “that’s great, me too.”

“Which part?”

He chuckles, and you slow your steps as you reach your door. “I have three off,” he says, “did you want to do this again? Maybe we can watch an old movie, I have a few on the computer in my room.”

“Oh,” you rock back on your heels, “I-I guess, I mean, if I don’t end up on call or anything.”

“Great, I can’t wait.”

The door to your quarters slides open when you swipe your key, and you look back at him trying your best not to appear inviting. Before you can bid him goodbye, he leans down and presses his mouth against yours. It’s so quick and so sudden, that you barely have time to respond before he pulls back, his cheeks pink.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

You do your best to smile, “Night.”

When he turns his back to you is when you notice another person in the hall, standing midway between you and the lift with a harsh scowl set between his brows. Leonard. Your heart leaps up into your throat, and you can suddenly taste every drink you’ve had tonight as your stomach does an acrobatic rendition of the tango, determined to expel every drop of alcohol within it. You rush into your room and into the bathroom, reaching the sink before the toilet and hurling every blue, green, and purple drink you had drunk into it.

You’re surprised to be woken by your alarm in the morning, since you usually wake up several minutes before it. The lights in your room blink on and your head begins to pound. Great. You brush your teeth, shower, and dress just as you do every morning, but the knot in your stomach is heavy and insistent on reminding you of every detail of last night.

As you’re making your way down to engineering, and thankfully not the bridge, your comm whistles. “Captain,” you say, knowing it would be Jim.

“Morning Y/N,” his voice replies, “would you be so kind as to report to the bridge immediately?”

You sigh as you step into the lift, “roger that.”

The bridge is quiet and absent of the doctor, much to your relief, but Jim is wearing his signature smirk which makes your pulse race nervously. “What do you want?”

He chuckles, “that is no way to address your captain.”

Your roll your eyes, refusing to correct yourself.

“Anyway,” he says, and you follow him as he moves toward his chair, “how was last night?”

“Are you serious?”

“Dead serious.”

Nyota stands from her station and approaches with a mischievous smile, “I would also like to hear about last night.”

You sigh, “it was pleasant.”

“And?” Jim prompts.

“And what?”

“The kiss,” he says, his grin stretching from ear to ear.

Your stomach just about falls out of your ass. “Bones told you?”

“Bones knows?” Nyota gasps.

“He saw us,” you tell her.

“He saw you?”

“On his way to his room,” Jim clarifies, and Nyota gasps again.

“When the hell did he have the time to fill you in?” you demand.

The captain shrugs, “none of your business, gorgeous.”

You groan, “that’s just great, thanks.”

He stands and grabs your shoulder before you can turn away, suddenly concerned, “what’s wrong? I thought you liked this guy.”

Why the fuck is Jim playing dumb? It’s not as if he’s been totally clueless all these years, and just because he swore to stop meddling after a full two years of scheming to try and get you two together doesn’t mean he isn’t still fully aware of your feelings for the doctor.

“I never liked this guy, Jim,” you say, keeping your voice low, “I just wanted to try and get over that stupid-”

Jim’s comm beeps. “Bones?” he answers it, offering you an apologetic smile before turning away. “Okay… I’ll send her down now.”

He turns back to you, “you’re due for a medical.”

You frown, “right now?”

He nods.

“Why couldn’t he tell her that himself?” Nyota asks, wearing her own indignant frown.

Jim sighs as his comm beeps again. “I’m sorry, Y/N, just… please? We’ll talk later, I promise.” He turns toward his chair again and takes a seat before answering the call.

Nyota grabs your arm, “are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah, fine,” you reply, “I’m pretty sure Finn is doing routines right now, so at least I won’t have to deal with him.”

You arrive a the MedBay only a few minutes later, somewhat relieved to find Finn sorting through a cart beside an empty bed. “Hey,” you sit on the edge of the bed, “I got called in for my routine, is that you?”

His face lights up with a boyish grin, “Oh, I didn’t know you were scheduled for today, but yeah, I’m doing-”

“No you’re not Jenkins,” Leonard interrupts, startling you as he appears with his usual frown in place, “I need that inventory list by the end of the week.”

“But you said-”

“Inventory, now.”

“Okay,” Finn sighs, his expression sour, “I’ll see you later, Y/N.”

You nod and swallow on the lump in your throat, watching him leave before turning to the grumpy man in front of you. “Hey, Bones,” your voice comes out quieter than you intended.

“This won’t take long, follow me,” he doesn’t even bother making eye contact with you before turning toward one of the private rooms at the back of the MedBay.

You want to say something, confront him maybe? But instead, you follow quietly and take a seat on the bed in the room as he closes the door without even glancing up from his PADD.

“How have you been feeling lately?” he asks.

“Fantastic,” you reply, your tone dripping with sarcasm.

He ignores it. “Any unusual pain, headaches, or nausea?”

“Aside from last night, nope.”

He finally looks up, his hazel eyes sending the butterflies in your stomach into a frenzy. “Last night?”

You curse internally as you reply, “I- uh, I threw up but… I had a bit to drink.”

The way his gaze affects you is almost pathetic. Fire blazes through your veins, heating every inch of your skin and undoubtedly turning your cheeks bright red. You’re not sure if it’s Leonard-withdrawals or simply because you had a whole month’s reprieve of the way he makes you feel, but it suddenly feels like you might actually die if you have to stay away from this man.

“Right,” he shakes his head and returns his attention to his PADD, “have you had any adverse reactions to any food or drink, aside from alcohol, in the past couple months.”

You shake your head.

“Any accidents or minor injuries while on shift that didn’t require a visit to MedBay?”

You scoff, “seriously? Bones, I work in the engine room with Keenser and Scotty, I couldn’t possibly document every cut and scrape I get.”

He raises a brow, “have any of these cuts or scrapes taken an abnormally long time to heal?”

You shake your head again, “no.”

He nods once before continuing, “and when was your last routine check-up?”

“You would know better than I would.”

He sighs and taps on his PADD before muttering, “six months ago.”

You nod, “that sounds about right.”

“One last question and then the physical, are you- uh, comfortable with me performing the-”

“Yes,” you reply, before even thinking about how eager you sound, but you can swear you see his cheeks turn a light shade of pink.

He clears his throat, “are you sexually active?”

You can’t stop yourself from giggling, “no, I’m not.”

“Really?” he asks before he can stop himself.

“Really.”

A moment passes where neither of you dare to even breathe. His frown remains but its more curious than anything, and you feel as if the air between you has turned into a heavy and electrically charged storm cloud.

“Okay, uh,” he puts his PADD down and picks up a tricorder, “physical.”

You straighten instinctively as he approaches you and begins scanning your body. “So,” you say, keeping your eyes on anything but him, “how have you been?”

“Fine,” he mutters.

“You sure?” you know you shouldn’t go on, but this is the first time in over a month that you’ve been alone with him, “because it’s been a while since we’ve hung out.”

“I’ve been busy.”

Frustration bubbles up inside of you. “Yeah, bullying cadets,” you mumble.

He pauses, “what was that, darlin’?”

Usually, that nickname would make your head spin but the way he says it now almost makes you shudder. “Nothing, I just-”

“If you’ve got something to say, then by all means,” he steps back, “say it.”

You’ve never experienced this side of Bones. Sure, you’ve seen it, more often than not when he would chase off any unwanted advances from random men on the nights that Jim would force you all to go out clubbing, but you haven’t ever been on this side of it.

You clear your throat, “I just think you should be nicer to the new recruits, that’s all.”

“Nicer?” he scoffs, “I’m a doctor, not a babysitter. If they can’t handle the pressure, then they shouldn’t be on this ship.”

“It isn’t about babying them, Leonard, it’s called being polite,” you grip the edges of the bed, “and being a mentor that they can trust.”

He crosses his arms over his chest, “you don’t think I’m trustworthy?”

“That’s not what I said,” you bite back, “I know you’re trustworthy, but I also know you’re a-”

“A what?”

Frustration ripples through you in hot waves and you have to stand, even though it gives you absolutely no physical advantage. “A jerk.”

“Oh, you think I’m a jerk now?”

“I didn’t until five seconds ago, I-” you stop yourself before you can say something you’ll totally regret.

Bones huffs and drops the tricorder much harder than necessary on the bench. “Look, I don’t know what your little boyfriend has been telling you but-”

“Boyfriend?” its your turn to cross your arms, “first of all, he’s not my boyfriend, and secondly, don’t patronise me. I’m not one of your subordinates, I’m not even one of your crewmates, I’m- well, I thought I was one of your best friends.”

“Well, maybe I don’t want you to be one of my best friends,” he snaps.

Your heart sinks, all the way down into your stomach, making you nauseous. “What?”

He sighs, “Damnit, Y/N, I didn’t mean it like that.”

It takes all of your strength to keep from crying, “no, Len, it’s fine. I get it, you’ve made it perfectly clear over the past month how you feel about me.”

“I’ve made it clear?” he steps between you and the door, preventing your escape, “I’m not the one who has been pretending to visit you on shift, just to flirt with one of your damn subordinates.”

Your eyes grow wide, “you think that’s why I come in here? You think I actually give enough of a shit about that cadet to spend my whole break, every day in the fucking MedBay?”

“I think?” he exclaims, “I know, Y/N, I’ve seen you here every day!”

“Yeah, every day, Leonard!” you shout, fully aware that the whole MedBay is probably hearing your argument, “not just this past month, every damn day that we’ve been on this ship!”

He takes a deep breath, readying himself to shout right back, but he stops and frowns. “Every day?”

“Every day,” you repeat.

He sighs, his whole body relaxing, “why?”

“Because I-” you hesitate, “i-it doesn’t matter. I’ll stop visiting if that’s what you want.”

“Because why?”

“It doesn’t matter,” you move toward the door again, but he blocks your path once more.

“Because why?” he presses.

“Because you, Len,” you exclaim, “because I’m in love with you!”

The room is suddenly quiet, and all you can hear is each other’s breath. Only then do you realise that you lost the battle with your tears, and your cheeks are damp.

“You’re… in love… with me?” he repeats quietly, his eyes searching for anything to look at that isn’t you.

“Yes,” you sigh, “now you got what you wanted, can I please leave?”

He doesn’t budge, “no, that’s not all I want.”

You frown, “what? You want what’s left of my dignity, too?”

He shakes his head, stepping closer, “I want all of you.”

You barely have time to process his words before his lips are on yours and you knees give out beneath you. His arms circle your waist and hold you up, pressing your body against his in the way you’ve dreamed of countless times. The only thing your brain can do is scream, and if your mouth wasn’t so busy, you’re almost positive it would be audible.

When he pulls away, its only because oxygen is absolutely necessary. “I’m in love with you,” he whispers between breaths, “I love you.”

Your head finally stops spinning, and you blink up at him, “what?”

“I love you.”

“Why?”

He chuckles, “because you’re fucking incredible, darlin’.”

He worries for half a second before a grin breaks across your face and you press your forehead against his chest, giggling. “Four years, Len.”

“Four years?” he echoes.

“I have been waiting for four years for this,” you speak into his shirt, unable to stop the mirth bubbling from your lips.

“You’re kidding,” he laughs again, and you can feel it vibrate through his body, “me too.”

You look up at him, “what?”

“Jim tried to tell me too, and I didn’t listen to him.”

“Jim, what?” you snap, immediately thinking of a thousand different ways you were going to kick your captain’s butt.

“He tried to tell me that you liked me,” he says, “several times actually, and I-”

“I’m going to kill him,” you make a move toward the door but Leonard doesn’t let you leave his arms.

“Hold on, darlin’,” he holds your chin between his thumb and forefinger, “we can kill him later, but right now,” he glances at the bed behind you, “we should really finish that physical exam.��

You have to bite your lip to keep from grinning too wide, so you nod instead of speaking. He smirks, and you can swear your heart stops, before he leans down and captures your mouth with his. He swipes his tongue across your bottom lip, coaxing it from between your own teeth and drawing it between his, biting down just enough to elicit a soft whimper from your throat.

END.

#bones #leonard mccoy #star trek #bones x reader #leonard mccoy x reader #imagine #one shot #karl urban #captain kirk #jim kirk

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captainsophiestark · 8 months

Text

Super Surprises

Harley Keener x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)

Fandom: Marvel

Summary: Harley's SO shows up earlier than expected to his apartment and discovers he leads a slightly more interesting life than the average MIT student

Word Count: 1,781

Category: Fluff, Humor

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

"Harley! You'll never believe the email I got from my professor! I mean, I'm not complaining, since it meant I could get out of class early and grab some food for us before coming here, but-"

I stopped short, frowning from the kitchen of my boyfriend's apartment. Normally, by now, he would've come out here to join me, or at least acknowledged me from somewhere else in the apartment. But I hadn't heard anything since I'd walked in the door.

Granted, I'd shown up much earlier than he'd been expecting me. My professor had canceled class about five minutes after I'd sat down in the lecture hall because he couldn't find parking, had been trying for twenty minutes, and was fed up with the whole ordeal. Still, there was no reason Harley shouldn't have been here. His lack of response was odd.

"Harley?" I called, tentatively heading towards his bedroom. I heard a hushed commotion and some shuffling from inside, then a muffled bang before total silence. I reached the knob, starting to feel a little concerned for the wellbeing of my boyfriend, when he flung the door open a moment before I could.

"Hey," he said, fixing me with a delayed version of his usual grin. "Sorry, I was just... cleaning something up."

"That's okay..." I said, narrowing my eyes a little and trying to look past Harley into his room. He shifted in the doorway to block me, and I raised an eyebrow at him. He grinned at me, trying to look suave, but I wasn't buying it. I ducked under his arm and moved into the room, looking around with my hands on my hips.

"You, uh... you said you had a story about an email from your professor?" asked Harley from behind me. I just hummed without turning around. He was acting weird, and I was determined to figure out why.

I scanned the room, but I didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Other than my boyfriend, that is, who hovered behind me radiating a nervous energy I never felt from him every time I took a step. I started moving around the room, and Harley looked so nervous I thought he might fidget so hard he hit his head on the ceiling. I walked past the window and his bed with no real effect, but the moment I started heading for the closet with purpose, he sprang across the room to jump in front of me.

I put one hand on my hip and fixed him with a look.

"What's in the closet, Har?"

"Nothing."

I snorted. "According to my sources, that's a load of bullshit."

"What sources?"

"My common sense. Come on, you're never this jumpy, especially not around me! So what's in the closet. I know you're not hiding a secret lover in there, so just tell me. What is it?"

"It's... a surprise," he managed, not even half as convincing as he would need to be. I just rolled my eyes and took another step towards him.

"Harley Keener, you aren't fooling anybody. You are, however, starting to worry me. So come on. What's in the closet?"

Harley's eyes darted around the room, scanning me and our surroundings, and I could see his brain working a mile a minute. Finally though, he sighed, the restlessness draining away from him as he settled his stare on me. He looked like the normal, slightly tired, sarcastic and blunt guy that I'd fallen for so fast in one of our physics classes again, and relief washed over me.

"You want to know what's in the closet? Fine. I was working up to telling you all this shit anyway, so why not now?"

I raised an eyebrow, but Harley just turned around to open the closet door a crack. He had a harsh, whispered conversation with someone apparently hiding inside, and my mind started racing, trying to come up with possibilities that would tie into this whole situation and actually make sense. Before I could come up with anything, Harley stepped back, and someone stepped out of the closet.

Never in a million years would I have been able to come up with the guess "Spider-Man is hiding in my boyfriend's closet".

My mouth dropped open as the beloved hero of New York stepped further into the room, Harley at his side. I just stared, trying to get my brain working again. I wasn't having much success.

"What... how... why-?"

"Remember I told you I met Tony Stark once, in Tennessee? When I was a little kid?"

I nodded, shifting my attention to Harley again. He had his hands in his pockets, and the usual casualness in his posture seemed a little more forced than usual.

"Well, I didn't mention that I saw him again. Regularly. He's kind of... adopted me, I guess, as a science kid who helped him fight off some bad guys one time. I actually go visit somewhat regularly, and Spider-Man's Tony's other science kid."

I blinked a few times, looking between the two people before me, my brain still trying and failing to play catchup. Spider-Man gave me a little wave, which didn't really help.

"That's... Harley, that's insane! Why didn't you... why didn't you tell me?"

He sighed, his shoulders slumping a little as his gaze fell towards the floor.

"I didn't want to tell you before we got serious. It just felt weird, like I was bragging or trying to get you to like me based on who I know. And I didn't want you to go out with me because of it, either. And then when we did get serious, it had been long enough that I wasn't sure how to bring it up. I was trying to figure it out, but I guess that's not a problem anymore."

He shot a look at Spider-Man that only a sibling could, with all the annoyance and irritation possible communicated in a single second. I couldn't help smiling.

"Well, I'm glad I know now," I said, crossing the room to take Harley's hand and give him a soft kiss on the cheek. "I love you, Har. I'm always happy to hear about you and your life, even when it's... unexpected."

He smiled at me, then leaned in and gave me a real kiss. I didn't let it go on for more than a few quick seconds, since we still had a guest in the room, but it was still nice. A little reassurance for us both.

"So..." I started, finally turning to the masked superhero in the room. "It's nice to meet you, Spider-Man."

I held out my hand for a handshake, which he returned.

"Yeah, it's nice to meet you too! Harley talks about you all the time."

I grinned, and I could see Harley shaking his head out of the corner of my eye. Spider-Man's voice made him sound way younger than I'd thought he was, but I decided not to comment on it. At least, not right now.

"So... what brings you to my boyfriend's dorm, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Oh! Well, I'm working on this case, and there's this technology that I think can help me track down the bad guys I'm looking for, but I can't figure out how to hack into it, and Mr. Stark's super busy-"

"Yeah, just gimme the drive," Harley interrupted, holding out his hand. Spidey obliged, then Harley glanced back at me. "Are you okay with this? I know we planned to just hang out together and do some studying..."

"Har, you're involved in superhero business. I'm not going to tell you to drop it, especially when it doesn't really have an impact on us." I turned to Spider-Man. "Luckily for you, I even brought extra helpings of food from Harley and I's favorite place. Although, it might be kind of hard to eat it through the mask."

Spider-Man turned to look at Harley, who completely missed it because he was staring at me.

"I never agreed to share my food with him. How could you offer that?"

I just smiled and shook my head, nodding in Spidey's direction. Harley turned to him with narrowed eyes, but his expression quickly changed when he saw something in Spider-Man's body language or otherwise that had his eyebrows furrowing in concentration. Maybe Spider-Man was secretly telepathic or something.

After a few long moments where Harley and Spidey were apparently managing to have a silent conversation despite the mask, the superhero turned back to me. Harley took my hand in his, a small smile on his face, and then a moment later, Spider-Man whipped off his mask.

A baby-faced teenager stared back at me with a beaming smile, and I instantly got hit with the most irrational surge of protectiveness I'd ever felt.

"Hi! I'm Peter," he said, giving me another little wave. "Peter Parker. Harley trusts you, and I trust him, so I figured... I could probably share this with you."

I smiled, reaching out to lightly squeeze Peter's arm.

"Thanks, Peter. I'm glad you did. And not to be dramatic, but I'll take your secret to the grave."

Peter's eyebrows shot up, and I heard Harley snort from next to me. I grinned at them both and headed for the kitchen.

"Now c'mon, you've got a case to work on or whatever and I have a ton of upper div calculus homework. None of us has time to waste."

Both boys followed after me, and within a few minutes we were settled at the table in Harley's apartment. Harley and I sat shoulder to shoulder, legs pressed against each other. Even though we were working on separate things, we were completely together, which made everything so much easier.

Every once in a while, I'd look up at Harley and Peter working over the same laptop. Whenever one of them noticed me, we shared smiles before returning to our tasks. We'd moved past the whole Stark-superhero thing pretty quickly, and I was okay with that. It didn't really change my impression of Harley or who he was, it was just another interesting aspect of his life. But I didn't miss the significance in Peter sharing his identity with me.

He wouldn't have done that, and Harley wouldn't have given him the silent yes, if Harley wasn't incredibly serious about this relationship. I'd become more and more convinced over the past few months that Harley was the one, and this told me he was most likely on the same page.

Of course, we'd have to have some conversations about that at some point in the future. But for right now, I was just happy to be working next to him, perfectly comfortable together, even in this new aspect of his life. Shoulder to shoulder through shitty classes and superhero drop-ins alike.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989

Marvel Taglist: @valkyriepirate @luv-ghostie @songbirdcannabe @infinetlyforgotten

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solarwynd · 3 months

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I feel like there are somewhat weird vibes spreading in the fandom now but can’t really pinpoint what it is. Like I’m so happy for Jimin and pjms, the results for this comeback are insanely good but it’s kind of getting quiet already? Is it just me? I don’t know, maybe it’s because he’s not present and can’t celebrate with us. It’s like after all the good news fan’s engagement with everything kind of dropped for some reason. I remember how hyped and involved everyone was during the debut even after that horrible thing billboard did to LC and how everyone was doing their absolute best to keep the song on the charts for as long as possible. I don’t really see the same attitude now and it’s really surprising to me considering there are a lot of people who liked Who and Muse even better than LC and Face. Or maybe everyone just got more relaxed and it’s a good thing? What do you think?

A good and a typical thing. Good because we’re getting the tools we’ve been asking for and because WHO isn’t predicted to free fall in the second week from its sales being filtered out by a surprise rule change so we don’t have to stress as badly as we did last year. Which is definitely a welcomed change.

And typical because a lot of people are first week result workers only and have been since forever. I feel like with tools, some people become lax because they they don’t have to work as hard. Same thing happened with 7 and armys even though that song was pretty much on autopilot. But yea I don’t think it’s really a bad thing. For second week people definitely need to take it even more seriously than the first because we don’t want huge drops anywhere, but after that, a slow wind down is okay and expected. Armys and pjms combined can produce results as big as GP can but we can’t sustain it by ourselves nor do I think it’s entirely possible. And I don’t believe the atmosphere needs to be at constant high energy because that causes burn out quickly.

As long as we aren’t seeing massive 1M drops again, I’m not gonna be frantic. I wish WHO could’ve gained 2nd week on Spotify, but on AM we’ve been hitting new peaks and progress so that’s still great.

A MUSE + WHO recomeback just officially got announced by big army accounts for tomorrow, so hopefully Saturday we’ll see an increase.

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azrielgreen · 4 months

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I could really use some advice if you're feeling up to it. I have been writing for a little over a year now. I hadn't written for fun since middle school probably. I genuinely have a lot of fun planning and writing and get excited about new ideas but lately more and more I've been have more moments of feeling like I'm horrible at it. I want to just do it because I enjoy it and it's a way to cope sometimes but the thoughts are still there. I can't help but look at the stats for the things I've put out there and number of hits versus kudos doesn't really help, like 95% of those don't leave kudos. I don't want to care about the stats, I want to just do it for fun but I'm feeling a bit discouraged. I almost deleted 30k/3 months of work because I just felt like everything I've done sucks. Thankfully a friend talked me down. I know I'm always going to be harder on myself than anyone else but it's still hard. Any advice so I can keep doing something I enjoy without letting it have that negative effect on me at the same time?

Thank you in advance 💜

Hello, lovely. Firstly, I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. Writing can be really lonely and self doubt creeps in through the cracks, so it feels natural to compare and check stats, but my god is that NOT an accurate reflection of anything resembling success/talent. Sometimes I really wish AO3 wouldn't publicly show things like hits/kudos/comments or at least give people the option to hide them if they wanted. Those numbers are tremendously distorted and will never accurately reflect what self doubt drives us to seek out.

At heart, you have the right outlook 100%. Writing for yourself is always the true path and if you follow your joy, you'll never go wrong but I think something I've noticed over the last year in fandom is how people have become quite bitter over stats and numbers, obsessive even, declaring something a "flop" if it didn't get certain numbers/likes/kudos etc... and that is just a recipe for fucking disaster. It's really hard to write something and work on it while wondering if anyone will even read it, so I do totally understand that doubt, BUT.

One thing I will say that I hope is heard by those who need it: FUCK THE STATS. They are no true indication of anything, are insanely warped over time and I do think that at this point the Steddie is oversaturated. It will always have a strong readership because it's a massively mainstream pairing in a hit show and there will be an upswing when SE5 drops (not that I'll be watching, fuck you Noah) but I think that people have to understand there is no level basis of comparison for numbers and that everything you see now is skewed by time or people using socials to market and plug their fics, driving traffic.

The attention is diminishing. All energy is cyclical, it ebbs and flows. It's been two years, people aren't reading like they were in 2022.

So, my advice to you. Don't write for other people. Don't write for popularity, numbers, relevance or praise because there is no consistent way to reliably ensure the attainment of such things in a fandom. Write for YOU and only you. You will always be your own biggest fan, so make THEM happy first and foremost and then if anyone else enjoys it, bonus. Your art is coming out through your passion, your stories are born through curiosity and creativity and they will be NEEDED by someone. Maybe not the day you post, maybe not a year after but one day, someone will find it and love it so much and it will save them.

Not to be all "back in the good old days" but I think often about a very formative and impactful fic I read which was already complete by the time I found it, it had been for years and I never got to follow & comment weekly encouragement at the time. The fic was extremely niche and controversial. It changed me as a person and I'm grateful every day the writer pushed on and completed it because I needed it so much and it was waiting for me. I think sometimes the social aspects of fandom are a real distraction from the core pull of what we are driven by as writers; creation. I think fandom was never meant to be this visible or socially accessible and comparison wrecks many people's confidence.

Those numbers are fucked, cooked or legacy. Ignore them.

In ten years, when someone is having the worst night of their life and they get on AO3, and they find your stuff that you posted, shared and created, it will be their shining light. Keep going, be brave, explore. Make a bubble for yourself with ONLY obsessively positive interiors where you create and trust that THIS THING is the greatest thing you've ever made and then move onto the next.

Writing is incredibly difficult for numerous reasons and I have nothing but the utmost respect for those who devote their time, energy and effort to it the way fic writers do. Self doubt is common, no matter how much people project success.

You're doing great. Fuck the numbers. Focus on yourself.

💜💜💜

#askaz #fanfiction #fandom #ao3

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stormblessed95 · 2 months

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Thank you for answering my ask Storm. I appreciate it. I am new to tumbler and have not read everything you have posted mainly focussed on the member dynamics in your masterlist. In your recent post you mentioned that the bullying had happened and that’s how I got to know. I believe in the same post or some posts after you said you were willing to engage in respectful discussions and after much diliberation I thought to myself, that it was ok to send that ask. And it was, coz you answered it so respectfully.

Even if I may not agree with you fully, I do see where you are coming from. Your blog is yours to moderate and that is that.

My gripe with this fandom is that a lot of fans do not allow for a difference of opinion which then just means that we are a cult. The boys are not perfect and it should be ok to call out some of the things they do if it is done in a respectful manner. It is really quite something for people to say that there is a need to police fans/solos or Jikook fans because look want happened to Taekookers. It is too late to make that call because now no fan would be able to take the Gandhian stance of looking the other way. History does define how the present is handled. Yes, it is negative approach but it is what it is.

In any fandom, big accounts have a moral responsibility to ensure that the same energy is given in calling out bullshit but a large number of the ot7 accounts are Taekookers so the same energy isn’t given and this is what has resulted in a whole lot of solo accounts who are unnecessarily hated on most of the time.

Thank you again for allowing discourse. I very much appreciate it.

Having a difference of opinion and not allowing anti rhetoric on my blog is not the same thing. And saying "I have these criticisms of Tae and I think that's fair" is fine, but it also doesn't change that it's the same rhetoric that his antis use against him and it's not something I'm interested in entertaining. I truly couldn't care less if people agree with me or not. That's always been the case. Just as it's always been true that I've held that this space is mine and mine alone. Y'all are here only if you want to be lol. You can feel however you want to feel, that doesn't mean I'm entitled to have to do anything about it nor does it mean I have to hold space for it. Which I think is the problem that occurs when you hit over a certain number of followers. I'm not quite sure when that transition happened for me, but sometimes I miss how my blog used to be 2+ years ago 😅😂

I love Tae. I love him so much. I love his bond with the members. I think there are for sure things we can talk about critically there. Just as there are things I think we can talk about critically for each member and for the group as a whole. Do I think now is the time? Probably not with all that is happening with k media and the harassment happening.

Do I think any of those critiques involve their relationships with each other, including how Tae interacts with JK, no. I think their relationship and how it works best for them, is not something we get to interject on. Opinions about that stem from personal biases and often, also anger about antis and the desire to protect other members from said antis.

I also agree that a large number of "OT7" accounts on Twitter don't give the same proper energy to calling out bad behavior because they are taekookers or diet solos/shippers. But then we shouldn't be calling them OT7 accounts, right? I promise there are really good larger accounts out there that aren't full of bullshit. You just gotta use your block button freely. Because not giving fake ot7 a platform, is a good way to start. But it's hard when it seems like no one else cares. I promise I understand that. I understand the frustration and the pain that brings. As someone who deals with haters who feel protected behind an anon label, I feel like I extra understand it sometimes.

Fandom spaces are going to be what you make of them. All types fandom can be full of so much bullshit. You gotta carve out a corner in it that brings you happiness and peace and do what you can that way. Or you aren't going to have any fun. And that's what fandom should be, something that is fun and brings you joy.

Thanks for replying kindly again 💜

#fandom discourse #shipping discourse

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castielslostwings · 1 year

Text

Would you like to win this or other awesome prizes?!

Not going to lie, Gotham Knights’ cancellation hit me hard. It was so clear how much of themselves the writing team poured into the story, especially Natalie, and the last episode where Sharper went canon and Steph came out reflected my own experiences in a really visceral way that meant a LOT to see play out on cable TV.

I’m sure it’s partially because of how much the cast & production team have interacted with the fandom (I’ve never had a show creator reply to my tweets or care to talk to me personally before 🥺) so I felt pretty gutted by this show getting tabled.

With the strike still hot, I don’t think a rescue campaign will do much at the moment, so I thought I might try and spread positivity another way. I’ve had this raffle in the planning stages for a while, I wanted to celebrate my newest original book release by giving back, which is why I had these signed.

Between GK and Misha’s demining campaign for U24 & Legacy of War in Ukraine losing a bit of steam, it feels like as good a time to put it out there.

My personal goal is to raise $1k for Misha’s demining fundraiser! I would love to make that happen.

This raffle is easy: donate $5 or more to that effort, send me a receipt, and be entered to win. You can also donate to Random Acts and get a second entry.

Donations must be NEW! Receipts dated from now to the end of the raffle. The goal is to boost the fundraiser!

All the info/links are here:

Linktr.ee/enchantedinkraffle

Prizes (max one prize per person):

2 will each win a copy of Enchanted Ink signed by Misha Collins & Jensen Ackles

1 will win an Enchanted Ink author-signed book bundle with all of the release merch!

Several will win an author-signed copy of the book!

1 will win a Misha-signed “Wildflowers” art print from @valderie and Spotted Hound Design

1 will win @dustyl’s Misha-signed “Big Demining Energy” poster!

U.S. residents only due to shipping costs. If you are IA and willing to pay shipping or would like to donate your win to a U.S. resident, that is also fine, but please check shipping costs before committing—they are higher than you think.

There is a video on my TikTok explaining the raffle in detail, or if by some chance you’d just like to grab the book or merch, you can find that info here:

Linktr.ee/castielslostwings

PLEASE boost this if you see it! 🥺

I would greatly appreciate the support in making this a success ❤️

#charity #raffle #misha collins #jensen ackles #spnfamily #spn fandom #fanfic #original fiction #indie author #united24 #legacy of war #Giles #giles duley #ukraine #fundraising #fundraiser #win prizes

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sunny-mercya · 7 months

Text

False Brother

Heiji Hattori x Male Reader

Fandom -> Detective Conan/Case Closed

Masterlist

»What do you mean, he isn't Shinichi?«

The question you spoke with a whispering volume in your voice, filled with doubt and hesitation, hung above through the upcoming silence like a loose threat—ready to fall and causing havoc disaster.

Without really noticing it, the three Soda cans of cold Cola—which you had eagerly volunteered to get for your brother, Heiji and yourself as a form of thank you treatment for the hard work they had done these past few days of solving yet another crime and bringing justice once again—slipped from your hands, which had now a visible shake in them—and onto the ground below with a thud, rolling away.

Heiji captured his lower lip between his teeth's, gnawing at skin in slight anxiousness. Observing you, Heiji raced his mind of ways to distract you—bringing you away from the scene, from something of a sort of false truth you wished, longed, to be true again—and calm you down before your anger could rise.

You rarely got angry as you're a more peaceful person with sincere attitude of positive and genuine love energy. Only a handful, be it people or things, could make your fuse go into an explosion.

Though when you got angry, when the fuse start to spark and make the anger bubbling inside you—till it bursts into flames of fury—oh lord, than you weren't a pleasant person to be around.

»Are you telling me, that he–he isn't–isn't.....Shin–Shini......« your voice faltered, died out in uncertainty of unbelievable.

Heiji knew—from the way you first narrowed your eyes at Okuda, the person who fooled you into thinking that he was your dear brother—who disappeared once without a word and now reappears again—how your hands are clenched into fists, so hard that your knuckles turned white and how your narrowed stare turned into a angry sneer—that your about to strike Okuda down with every possibility of your strength in Qing Mado. After all, you weren't in the top 5 of ranks for nothing.

Heiji was able to catch you when you leapt forward with a raised fist. Okuda did a fearful step back.

»This fucker! I will smash him into the ground! He had now fucking right to imposante as Shinichi! NO RIGHT! I–fucking let me go Heiji or I swear to god I will fucking smash you into the ground too!«

And in the next seconds, you grabbed Heiji's arms and judo flipped him over your shoulder and onto the ground. Leaving him breathless for a moment.

While Heiji regained his breath, he glanced towards Ran and Shinichi—the actual one, who tried his best to take cover behind Ran—and Heiji, for once, felt absolutely angry at his best friend—who couldn't dare to give you one fucking simple call, because if he had it wouldn't be like this today.

You had charged at the false Shinichi, punching him across the face and pummel him into the ground. Sitting on top of him, you grabbed his shirt collar and shook him anger.

They all watched in shock how you, the oh so sweet and kind [Name] they all knew, shouted threatening profanity at Okuda—and how you gave him a punch after another, letting your fury completely free.

The audacity—you sneered in visibly barging anger—to imposante as your brother, is something unforgivable to do and wouldn't be forgiven, not when you waited all those damned months—almost a year had passed—without any news, signs and calls from Shinichi.

»HOW DARE YOU TO IMPOSE AS MY BROTHER AND FRAMING HIM FOR A CRIME, JUST BECAUSE YOU FUCKER COULDN'T ACCEPT THE TRUTH!«

Because how low must be someone's morals, their values of integrity and beliefs, dropping to do such horrendous acts of so called "self-justification"

How desperate someone could become, to impose—undergo surgery even—as another person and commit murder in their name, to make them into a killer and frame them for such inhumane actions.

And that's all because, a truth of justice and evidence couldn't be accepted.

Heiji pulled you off from Okuda, taking every hit from your trashing around in his arms—as you tried to free yourself from his hold, wanting to beat the asshole all bloody more—and brought you to one at the benches, near the vending machines.

~~~

Heiji didn't say anything, when you cried in his arms, knowing well from first hand experience that sometimes silence comforts more than the mere words of actual comforting meaning.

It wasn't the first time you've cried over Shinichi's absence. There had been many nights where you bawled your eyes out, thinking of gruesome possibilities of what could happen to your brother to make him as of what he is now—gone and nothing but a mere fading memory.

But this was different—as you really had thought that Shinichi had finally returned and even when it seemed that your brother had lost his memories—you could live with this as long as he was back—your crumbling hope was rising like a flame, believing naive and dumbly that everything was turning good again.

Though once again it felt too good to be true, because in the end, it was nothing but a fraud—ripping the fragile hope in your broken—but ever so mending—heart apart and leaving behind a mess of piercing pain.

Maybe you should just accept the possibility of reality, that Shinichi perhaps was dead—all along from the day he disappeared to the here and now of present.

Perhaps you also shouldn't have fought for your life back then—when Daiki had kidnapped you and all you wanted was to die as well, having willingly accepted your fate as you hadn't any goal or ounce of hope left in you—but when Conan told you such blatant lie, that Shinichi had called and would be back home soon, you thought—living once more to see Shinichi's smile was enough to keep going against your wishes of death.

»I really–I thought, that–I thought, that it was–was Shinichi.....« you choked out, hiding your face more in Heiji's neck.

»I know, I know, sunshine. C'mon deep breaths, in and out, just like we practiced. Yeah, just like that, ya doing good« whispered Heiji, rubbing your back and praising you when you did the breathing patterns.

If Heiji could, he would've told you in a heartbeat that Shinichi is here and alive—freeing you from the painful pressure of heartache you living through ever since with the loss of your brother—but he couldn't, have promised—vowed—to never tell the secret of who Conan actually is.

The amount of times Heiji had to bite his tongue to not say anything to you—because if you would knew the actual truth, you would cause havoc and unleash a fury at them—and he never felt any remorse guilt about it nor anger about it before, to tell you minimal lies—but now Heiji does and for once he wanted to punch his best friend for being so absolutely stupid.

»Come, Officer Kogawa said she's gonna drive us back to the City and then we could take a nap in our hotelroom and afterwards we can go and have a nice dinner, watcha think, sounds splendid doesn't it?« said Heiji, prepping your face with kisses, before standing up.

You wiped the remaining tears from your eyes, rubbing your face and—besides the upcoming migraine you felt pounding in your head—managed a small smile at Heiji.

»Yeah, that sounds real good« you agreed, leaning against Heiji as he placed his Cap onto your head and slung his arm around you—pulling you close.

For a moment you felt bold; cradling Heiji's face in your hands, pulling him down and gave him the biggest kiss on the cheek.

»Not that I don't appreciate it, but what for sunshine?« asked Heiji, grinning at you—have been taken by surprise with your action.

»No reasons, except for you being the best in my humble life and do you wanna know how much I love you Heiji?«

»How much?«

»Endless, like the universe«

#male reader #x male reader #anime #manga #fanfiction #malereader #oneshot #xmalereader #detective conan/case closed #detective conan #heiji hattori #heiji x male reader #heiji hattori x male reader #fluff #dcmk #case closed

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