#the nature of still very occasionally having a post in this blog that is many years old

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Isol:(running in, gun in his hand) Can't you guys fucking read?!

Yuki:I tried to tell them not to enter the room!

Hyunwoo:Well you wrote weird stuff! Who the hell puts a note in a locker that says "nosy people get fucked"!

Isol:Are you nosy?!

Hyunwoo:Maybe!

Yuki:Can we focus on killing that thing?

[refinedpet]

Heck it, I'll make a proper pinned

Salutations! Hello! My name is Ashley, your likely not so local, lesbian, early twenties, beautiful trans girlthing with undiagnosed mental problems.

I usually post about Trans stuff, as helping other transfems in any way I can is important to me.

I also post about whatever else is on my mind, I don't really have much of a filter. Usually expect stuff about Video Games.

I also don't hesitate to reblog horny stuff, and I'm a kinky bitch so that filter doesn't exist. Usually not anything with nudity, but no promises. This Blog is 18+ Only.

My old pinned was my award winning post

It makes a great vibe check and did a phenomenal job scaring away chasers. Watch if if you're not a coward

Stuffs I like!!!!:

I play alot of video games, some of my favorite series are Xenoblade Chronicles (This is the quickest way to my heart), Dragon Quest, Pikmin, Fire Emblem (Unfortunate), Kirby, Splatoon, Shin Megami Tensei, Megaman

I love the NeiR series! Fantasy Life and Gnosia are some of my all time favorites.

I've been lifelong way too Pokémon obsessed

I play a wide variety of stuff, and it'd be difficult to name everything. I play a bit of everything but I'm mostly a single player girly and I adore JRPG's.

I used to be more of an anime fan, but don't actively watch new stuff alot. I've seen a ton of anime and read alot of manga.

Stuff like JoJo's Bizzare Adventure, Chainsaw Man, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, The Pet Girl of Sakuraso, Yuru Yuri, Sailor Moon and many more are very important to me.

As said I'm well experienced in anime, and love getting to talk about it with people.

I'm likely to do the occasional horny post, but usually don't reblog or post nudity. Still this Blog is 18+

I'm a kinky bitch, and have spent alot of time in online lewd role play communities. As a result I'm desensitized to alot of it and very casual about things.

I've been called a succubus alot, and have a history of awakening new kinks in people.

If I ever make a NSFW sideblog I'll give more specifics there. But I'm always down to talk with girls (18+) about stuff!

Alright, wrap it up already:

Now, here's a collection of thoughts and things I couldn't be bothered to fit in naturally anywhere.

The tag I use for my original posts is #Ashley.txt if you want to see just them and not the mass of stuff I reblog. For older ones I used #skyla.ramble if you wanna see those. Yes Skyla is not my name anymore, no I'm not changing the tag, You have to earn calling me that.

As stated before my name is Ashley! I prefer Ashey as a nickname over Ash. And I encourage people to spell it however they like best. Having some people say Ashy or Ashie is cute! You can call me Ash, but don't call me that exclusively.

I'm a She/Her - It/It's Girly. Those are the ones I fuck with. Referring to me with It/It's is the way to my heart, but I like being called both.

I'm an attention whore

I love Chappell Roan

I meow and bite, don't worry about it

Mutuals are always so incredibly welcome and encouraged to send me a DM or ask for my Discord (that's where I prefer talking)

I love all transfems. No matter what arbitrary reason you have that makes you think you're not enough or worthy of it. All trans people have a space in this community. You are so incredibly important 💖

Okay, I've gone on for more than long enough. I'll add to this if I ever need to

Have some pictures of me to finish off because I'm hot as hell

[herejusttosufferalong]

Sorry, this is probably a boring read and I get it, if it doesn’t warrant posting.

I just saw the posts about the A at a glass window at London premiere and JD and N playing board games in a pub etc. and it made me think.

There a loads of little bits about A coming out, she was there during the tour, she did that etc. First thing that came to mind for me was: this is in the past, this is not today. I know she is around today, I know there will be more L A stuff coming, ig launch, proper couple stuff etc. But the things we get bothered about now re. A during the tour: they are in the past, they do not reflect things as they are today.

It shows to me: there was trouble during the tour and there is trouble today. I’m with unraveling anon here: currently there is something going on in the L A and friendly gang universe, and it’s not wedding planning for L A.

As many here I think, L N caught some feelings during filming S3, I don’t think it got physical but feelings were there. Took a break, L HBS happened, N living her best life. 2024 the tour happens, feelings for L – who by now had acquired an 🐜 – came back quickly. For N it took a hot minute but at some point there was no use denying it, the world and their mother could see it and hear it. Oh what to do with A now? I reckon, N never thought her to be a serious thing and that may be because L sold it exactly that way.

Several A appearances / actions on SM, I still look for one that was not on some level cringeworthy, lemme know if you find one. Girl is insecure and acting out and L does very little to put his b..ch on a lead. He behaved like the fool in love he is – with N that is - on the tour and likely did not exactly do lots to reassure A behind the scenes, besides the occasional FH stay.

Premiere London, L obviously had to do something for A, had set up or at least signed off the walk of crap 🦀but could he be arsed to even do that properly and commit afterwards on some minor level? You tell me.

He obviously wants to or has reasons to hold on to A. But why look like a damn hostage about it all the time? Surely after London he could have just be much more relaxed with her, hey, be fake-papped again plant a kiss on her, hold her properly. By now they could be an established couple to the world, the fandom outrage would have died down, they could live their relationship openly. Nope, hostage situation vibe it is.

Meanwhile N – and I never thought this would happen – goes MIA, she currently has the lowest public profile since I follow her and I just can’t help but get hurt / annoyed vibes from her. It’s truly telling that her friends seem to rally around her and even appear to troll A not do discretely. And she has a little sad vibe to her since the tour ended and I hate that. Might of course be because S3 chapter closed, might be L, I think whatever it is – N for sure was not happy with how London premiere night played out.

And don’t get me started on JD: m’dears, he aint her boyfriend, he is the gay-bestie and I am so happy she has him in her life right now. Do get over it please.

I guess what I am rambling on here is: A is here to stay for now. Here in my country 🐜s usually disappear when fall goes in to winter, so let nature take its course. And in the meantime, let’s do our best to not give her any attention, because that’s what she wants desperately. And let’s support N and L, they deserve it so.

And thanks to blog queen for letting us squat here until better times arrive!

NO NOTES

💜🥃

[unhappytimeleaper]

This is part of my just random blurbs I post on the servers I’m on but no one understands so I’m forcing it on all of you.

Truly unedited thoughts. Gender neutral reader; no age is mentioned but the idea is reader is around Kei age.

This blog is 17+ please have your age in your bio or tagged; any ageless blog and below the age asked for will be blocked at the end of the week.

No warnings outside of yes, it is vague but it is still yandere and possible spoilers for part 8 of Jojo

Kira himself was weird. At least hard to deal with, his narcissistic nature and OCD being one side that you could manage, within small doses, but the other being his naturally cold demeanor made it much harder. Somehow, you did manage to keep some form of a friendship. It was always hard when you would bring things up, and he would brush it off or tell you to just cut them out. You had him; why waste your time with others. Correction, you occasionally had him; you knew he was fond of his own personal time and interests, plus sometimes you just need a break from his personality. Sure, it made him a little more grumpy when you called this out, but amends usually were made quickly, and you'd fall back into your routine with each other. In his own weird way, Kira knew she was more fond of you than pretty much any other person outside of his family, even if it was hard to tell. Something you probably only ever learn from his sister after his disappearance.

Josefumi always felt abandoned and left out less you were around. You checked in on him in conversations, invited him to plans, walked alongside him, and overall did your best to consistently remind him that he had value. Was it wrong for him to be sort of selfish when it came to you and how much you seem to want to be with him? It meant something special to have you around, even if only as a friend, and it wasn't like with Sakunami. Josefumi was, after all, who you always turned to as a close friend when Kira and you were doing your own thing. Although his brutally violence fighting was something you shouldn't forget, or could really as the aftermath of some of them had been burned into your mind, he overall was a kind and caring young man you admired a lot and took pride in being friends with. It wasn't hard to see his crush, a very apparent one, but nothing could ever come from it as soon as he up and vanished.

Enter Josuke, or Gappy, nicknamed by his two front teeth. An odd fellow who appeared from nowhere with what seemed no memories. Not to say he wasn't smart, but he lacked a sense of self and the world around him. And despite this. Not knowing who he is, who anyone is really, he notes there is something strange about you. Not in a bad way, but like your fates are connected. That he cares for you even if he doesn't remember who you are. And despite everything, those feelings from both Kira and Josefumi only seem to be brought more and more to the front as you spend time. There is no memory of who you were to them; they are all separate people after all, but the care he has seems deeply burned into his soul. Something he doesn't want to lose, no matter what it takes.

You knew this wasn't them even as you learn and piece together this was the two friends you had lost. Gappy was someone new, and you couldn't push the life you had in the past with "them" onto him. It crushes you to be around him at times, you admit to yourself. The loss of both Kira and Josefumi was devastating; after all, even with the troubling nature they both could have, you did care for them as friends. And Gappy himself wasn't bad; he had many good traits and was fun to be around, but it's not like he could fill the hole in your heart. But even with the distance you tried to put in, acknowledging to him it's nothing he did or didn't do, you just needed space. Time. One day, maybe things would heal more, and you'd be able to truly befriend the new boy.

Distance isn't possible, though; the feelings of Kira and Josefumi, even without memories of who they are, are ingrained in a way he can't understand or explain. Like an invisible string connecting those they held dear to each of his fingers, he can't see what makes them special; he just feels it to his core. And he can't let it slip away, let you slip away when you hold the secrets to his past and to the weird drumming of his heart. Please, just stay a little longer? His drive is relentless, and while he can play cute to keep you around if what it takes, he does have other means he'd be willing to try if you keep pushing him away.

[ascendingaeons]

Relationships With The Netjeru: Introduction

Lately, I’ve been journaling about my relationship with Set and it gave me an idea for a series of blogs about the Netjeru I work with. Posts like this were what made me begin properly working with Them. A devotional is a heartfelt offering between a person and a deity. A devotional shared has a way of echoing what sings in the heart of another. I’ll begin this series by sharing the nature of my relationship with the Netjeru and what being Kemetic means to me.

I find the Netjeru to be different from the Gods of other pantheons. They are much more relaxed and understanding regarding tradition and what we perceive as insults or mistakes (Set most of all). I would compare my relationships with Them to growing up in a house with a lot of family members. There are times when we laugh or grieve together. There are times when They must be stern or let me do something on my own. There are times when They are disappointed but that can be forgiven by a heartfelt apology and genuine effort. Other times call for greater formality and respect. Still others are ceremonial in nature or very down-to-business.

I am not the best at giving formal offerings or praying at my altar. I don’t always have the time or energy and honestly, sometimes I forget. And that is more than okay. The Netjeru don’t expect that from me and They’ve communicated that very clearly. They’re more concerned with how I’m doing than They are about regular offerings of specially prepared food or gifts I purchased while thinking of Them. That’s not to say those efforts aren’t appreciated. I would love to have more time to have a practice like that. What I have developed is much more organic.

For me, prayer is more of a conversation. There is no right or wrong way to do it. Sometimes it is as simple as asking for a boon. When my partner moved in with me, I had been dealing with nightmares. I would thrash around in my sleep and occasionally wake him up with a smack in the face. One night before bed I prayed to Bast and asked Her to give me restful sleep so that I would stop doing that. From that night on, I slept peacefully. It’s often small blessings that afford the highest gratitude.

There were other times when I asked for an answer or resolution to a persistent problem to which I received what I thought was silence. Sometimes, for Them to act we have to take, at the very least, just one small step away from our comfort zone. The life we want is not always in alignment with ma’at. The solutions we envision are not always going to work with our highest good. The Netjeru always listen. They are never “too busy” to be there for us. But like a parent, They sometimes expect us to take action and do things for ourselves.

There is one thing that every person has to offer Gods and spirits regardless of their circumstances, but it requires a special kind of comfort zone. Provided consent is given, the Netjeru can live vicariously through you. If you would so allow it, They can taste what you taste, feel what you feel, see what you see, and love what you love. What is yours by experience becomes Theirs. It is the freely given perspective of a life well lived that They cherish more than any other offering.

I work with certain Netjeru in my writing and research, shamanic practice, divination, healing, and ceremonial magick. I’ll give a few examples. During reiki, I call upon Yinepu when I need assistance. I have a specific kind of clairempathy when performing reiki. If a client is in a significant amount of stomach pain for instance, that pain will transfer to me. I’ve learned to work with Yinepu in keeping grounded during reiki. It’s similar to calling upon the Archangel Michael as both of Their domains involve mastery of boundaries. 

When in shamanic trance, I’ve had many encounters with Djehuty and Aset offering wisdom or guidance. I blessed two of my tarot decks to each of Them respectively and the tones the decks have are very different. Set has guided my thoughts while writing for many years, planting little breadcrumbs to each “aha!” and I’ve called upon Him in ritual almost exclusively for as long as I’ve practiced magick.

I love and respect the Netjeru as I would my own parents. Truth be told, They were often better than the parents I had. Like any child would, I sometimes turn my back on Them in moments of anger or fear, but They are always right there… waiting. They allowed me the opportunity to venture off and find my own way. They watched smiling as I explored heathenry knowing that in finding myself, I would find my way back to Them. They were not at all jealous of my dealings with the Vanir.

Such profound trust and belief in a person foster loyalty unlike any other. The Netjeru were always, always there for me whether I was happy or sad, weak or strong, successful or not. They were always honest and freely gave the kind of support I needed exactly when I needed it. They brought ma'at into my home, giving me a sanctuary from the isfet outside. They loved and supported me unconditionally, effortlessly knowing the genuine Truth singing from my Heart, something that—as far as people are concerned—only my husband has ever been able to do. That is why I am a Kemetic.

Dua Netjeru!

[monstersinthecosmos]

I know you probably don’t want to dwell on the show and the negative but I absolutely hate what has happened on here and how hateful people are in the VC fandom it’s just very demoralizing and makes me want to retreat from anything besides the books completely. The discourse was spicy before the show but everything is just even more divisive now and it has sucked the fun out of it. Not really an ask more of a vent sorry

Hi there!

You’re correct that I don’t particularly find it fun to dwell on the negative stuff – as you said yourself, SOMETIMES THE DISCOURSE SUCKS THE FUN OUT OF IT. But I do understand how you feel and I want to say a couple things and I hope this helps you find a groove.

First of all, I did my best not to acknowledge it too much because I didn’t want to validate the folks who were being cunts to me lol, but please know that this fandom (at least on Tumblr) has ALWAYS been kinda fucking violent towards me LOL. I started VC tumbling back in 2016 and it’s ALWAYS been a fucking trash fire. It is hard out there for Marius stans lmfao.

Like, when I was first posting on Tumblr and acclimating to the Tumblr culture it was so much of like, me feeling brave enough to share meta only for someone to be RB’ing me to tell me I’m wrong, or me talking about how much I liked something about Marius only for someone to vague me, or it was me hosting the huge fandom Discord back in 2017 only for people to then come on tumblr and complain about how the Discord was way too Marius Friendly as if like, a drama-free space where we can discuss the books makes it a harbor for predators.

Of course I also had the gaggle of fucking morons who were constantly stalking me, catfishing their way into my servers to try to take screenshots and write call outs and cancel me, who would not stop preaching about how “all these big blogs” are “actually such terrible people” because “look at the things they ship” even when I’d never been unkind to them, even occasionally donated to their GFMs. These are folks who think they’re morally in the right for protecting the virtue of Armand’s poor teenage asshole and executed this justice by stalking and harassing an ACTUAL PERSON LOL. Like, listen. I’m sorry to burst ur bubble, but Armand doesn’t exist. He’s letters on a paper. I’m actually a real person and you’re up my fucking ass because I don’t’ even fucking know why, you’re jealous of my fucking Tumblr engagement or something? Which one of us is actually the creep here lol?? Is this a race to the bottom to be the valedictorian of clown school on the website for homeschooled clowns?

I’ve also had the pleasure of being on the receiving end of acephobic discourse, being told I don’t do enough to protect every individual in fandom from their own bullies as if it's my job to do that, being called ableist for how I wrote Daniel in my fics even though I was projecting and discussing my own personal experiences – I’ve also had a project collaborator have a tantrum and try to steal my work until I had to threaten with legal action, I’ve been put on block lists, I’ve had many people consume my fics in secret without actually leaving comments because I’m too toxic for them to communicate with in public.

BLAH BLAH BLAH.

This was all before AMC showed up LMFAO. It was not easy for me! It’s still not always easy!

And so yeah like, by nature of the fandom EXPLODING we are going to see more drama. More people is more drama. The nature of the discourse often hedges into real life issues that people are very opinionated and passionate about and there are conflicting needs inside the same space about how to hold conversations. Even just the other day I RB’d a joke about Anne Rice and OP got upset with me because they didn’t want actual fans interacting with it. Whoops! I didn’t know! I just thought it was funny. ;.;  

Even in good faith and with the best of intentions we’re going to step on each other’s toes, and we’re gonna find people we don’t vibe with. And that’s normal and it’s fine.

What ISN’T normal is this inability to disengage that I think we see often in online space, and I don’t want to get into a whole side essay about all the reasons why I think that happens. But sometimes you gotta be the bigger person and take it on the chin.

Like, yeah, it sucks. It sucks the fun out of the room when you share a space with such bitter people who can’t be kind to each other. But like. THAT’S A THEM PROBLEM, YOU KNOW? And I think we gotta remember that sometimes people like that do it for the attention or the spike of dopamine when they can pick a fight and honestly like, you don’t need to waste YOUR OWN time on it, but you’re also doing that person a kindness if you don’t enable the bad behavior.

And it sucks that Tumblr’s mute tools are awful!!!!! It would make navigating so much easier to be able to curate the dash a little better and keep the bad actors out of your space. I sometimes just fuck off and don’t even come online for days if I know I’m not in a good headspace and won’t have the strength to just fucking ignore it, because sometimes drama catches my eye and I get nosy and go down the rabbit hole, too – having ADHD makes it really hard to avoid sometimes LOL – but like I try to be reasonable and love myself enough to avoid it when I can help it. I’m not willing to make my own problems everyone else’s problem, and I hope that some of these shit starters in fandom will get there, themselves.

So yeah it blows when the vibes are fucking atrocious, and it REALLY blows when it’s a fandom this small where you can’t avoid it. Even when it’s a vocal minority it really just kills the fucking mood.

BUT WHAT I WILL SAY.

Whenever I say shit like “write what you want to read” and we’re talking about fanfic, or even meta or even silly headcanon posts or jokes, that also means draw what you want to see, it also means make what you want to hold, apply it to any creation you can think of. Put the thing you want to see into the world. And it counts for fandom, too.

I don’t want to be part of a fandom that’s constantly infighting and attacking people, so I don’t fight and attack people. I don’t want to be called a predator for being a Marius fan and so I don’t engage in posts that say as much, not even to argue, because I don’t want my followers (who might also be Marius fans!) to have to see that on their dash. I want us to protect our peace and create a space we want to be in.

Like I have a policy that any time someone says I’m a freak or any time I see truly godawful word salad discourse, I go out of my way to post something kinky and offputting about Marius LMFAOOOO  because I want to be surrounded by reasonable fun people who share my sensibility for fiction. AND SOMETIMES IT’S CRICKETS, AND SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO WORK HARD TO FIND YOUR PEOPLE. But at the end of the day I know I’m being my most sincere self and I’m trying to have a good time and just post fun things that I enjoy. And like, the book fandom is small as fuck and we’re all famished, but I think if more of us did that, we’d build a much more productive and tolerant space.

And for all the shit I’ve mentioned, all the drama and attacks and all the times people have harassed me or tried to make me feel small, you know what? I just got back from @apoptoses & @cup-of-lixx 's wedding and they met in VCblr! We spent all week with our VCblr friends! We all went to New Orleans together last Halloween !

When I used to work on ships it was like a fandom friend world tour! I had so many coffees in port with my vampire friends!

I’ve learned so much about writing from all the time I’ve spent here and the community of writer friends who supported me! There’s folks I met on VCblr that I talk to LITERALLY every day! They are such huge parts of my life and genuine life-long friends!!!!!!

Sometimes it seems like the ROI is garbage but like, so much of finding the joy is also learning to protect yourself from the negativity.

It IS out there. It DOES suck. And it’s lonely when you haven’t found your people yet. But fandom doesn’t have to be the 500 angry assholes arguing with each other about a fucking TV show, it can be your 3 besties in a private group chat having a great time.

Like I just drove @hekateinhell to the airport (met THROUGH TUMBLR!) and on the way back I was listening to an episode of Last Day and they were discussing the concept that “community is a life raft” and it hit me so hard man!!!!!!!!!!!

Find your people! Block the shit starters! Mute discourse buzzwords that you know are going to upset you!

Keep! Posting! What! You! Want! To! See!!

Fandom is self-generating, we can do this!

My inbox is always open and BELIEVE ME I have been motherfucking persona non grata in this place before and I know how rancid the vibe can be so please come talk any time it's grinding you down, I got you!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ana-snz]

My Dashboard is broken and I can’t see anything at all but tbh it’s kind of perfect timing bc I’m a bit burnt out and probably (hopefully) gonna take a lil break from here. Unfortunately with how much mental energy I’ve exerted over the past few days I’m crashing pretty badly and need to just turn my brain off for a little bit to recharge.

I know a handful of folks think this whole thing was overblown and unnecessary, but I think it did serve to highlight some underlying problems in the community. It sucks to see this pattern of minimization and dismissal that so many of us disabled folks are familiar with in the real world repeat in what is supposed to be a fun place to escape and enjoy ourselves. No one wants unnecessary drama or to argue over something like this, but disabled people also don’t want to be spoken over or dismissed when we’re trying to voice our concerns and point out ableism when we see it. Of course everything can be taken too far, policing the ways people can and cannot express or enjoy themselves on their personal blogs is also not a good or healthy thing to do, but occasionally pointing out harmful rhetoric when it occurs is part of all healthy kink spaces and helps keep our community safe, and it is disingenuous to equate that with being puritanical or overly rigid or moralistic.

Also I think it’s worth mentioning that yes, at the end of the day this is an online community and none of it is That Serious, but by nature of it being it a kink space it is also quite vulnerable and I don’t think it’s abnormal for people to want to feel safe and accepted in it, and that includes other people being respectful of the IRL shit we’ve all got going on, because we’re all real people outside of this app.

I will probably still be lurking (since I’m housebound I have very little accessible to me besides low-pressure scrolling on my phone) and depending on how long this particular crash lasts I might not be gone too long, but just wanted to give a heads up & also remind all my fellow disabled baddies to give themselves a little extra love & compassion this week. It might not seem like a big deal, but getting involved in this kind of discourse (idk why I keep using this word lol, my brain’s just latched onto it) can be more mentally taxing than we realize as it’s often tied to health / medical trauma for many of us.

I hope this doesn’t sound too ✨dramatique✨ lol I just want to highlight that with illnesses that impact energy levels, even things that are important and meaningful to us can put our bodies over their limit and make us sicker, so it’s crucial to make sure we’re pacing properly and taking good care of ourselves. This is supposed to a fun space and if it’s starting to feel more stressful than enjoyable, it’s probably a good idea to take a little break. Love y’all.

(Oh look, another long post! Haha a bitch likes to talk 📢)

[bbobpul]

meant for those who stay

NOTE. is this the sixth email? long time no post. i've been very busy. take this wonwoo au as a compensation.

PAIRING. wonwoo x you

GENRE. angst

WARNINGS. none

list of emails i can't send

masterlist

if you want to be added to the taglist, like this post

from. you@svtmail.com

to. jeonww@svtmail.com

subject. emails i can't send 6/13

hello, wonwoo

after my trip to switzerland, the months spurred through, rendering me in a state of perpetual uncertainty. it seemed to me that the fear of approaching unfavorable circumstances was immobilizing me, leaving me conflated as to what i might give up next and what sacrifices would be demanded on my path toward the life i vaguely remembered having dreamed.

far from the harmless child's game of hide and seek with friends, where being found meant defeat, the desire to stay hidden from everyone else grew intense. rather, i felt overtaken by a foreboding reminiscent of the harrowing incidents portrayed in horror films. i understood that in such a situation, i would lose everything i cherished the most. this could entail the effort of my labor, a beloved soul, or even the entirety of my life. i therefore no longer wish to be found.

but you found me, jeon wonwoo.

wonwoo who is known for his guarded demeanor and for continuously putting his career and family first. the concept of love rarely entered your mind until one day when you found himself pondering it, and to my surprise, it was the thought of me that sparked this fundamental change within you. it's difficult for me to put into words how grateful i am for being the catalyst that released your heart.

you've always stated that i was your first love, which has occasionally provoked fun teasing from those who find it funny that you defined such a passionate connection in your thirties.

you are not my first love, nor will you be my last, as shown by the mere fact that i am writing this email. wonwoo, you are, without any question, the most important turning moment in the course of my existence.

while you may not be the longest or greatest relationship i've had, i want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being the spark that ignited in the events of my life. you've made me realize that even in the midst of my own moments of feeling lost and coping with loss and the inevitable nature of losing, i still deserve to be found.

i want to extend my gratitude for rekindling a love that transcends time, cherishing each moment as it unfolds, and eagerly embracing whatever the future may hold. it may not be a love destined to endure, nor one fated to last a lifetime, but it was a liberating, joyful, and all-too-brief experience that i'll forever treasure.

i have too many scars for someone as pure as you, wonwoo. my life has been marked by losses, whilst you have found so little agony. i have nothing else to lose, whereas you have so much to gain. i cannot and do not want to be the person you settle for. so, i am so sorry for leaving. turns out i am still scared.

you are meant for those who will stay, and i have to admit that i am not capable of fulfilling such a role. there will be people who walk into your life because they are meant to be a part of you, and i hope they offer you the happiness you deserve.

i can only express my heartfelt regret.

sincerely,

your very first love

TAGLIST. @matchahyuck @minhui896 @hongmingoo @strawberryshortcakes-blog @lleercy @wonwooz1 @mhlsymlysn

lile this post if you want to be tagged

[decepti-thots]

my take on the fact that a lot of fic recs have moved to private platforms (eg closed discord servers) is twofold:

in my experience this lines up with a far greater expectation in modern fandom spaces to never say anything remotely critical of a fic in any public setting, even if you aren't speaking directly to the author. on LJ, a lot of fic recs posted by people on their own blogs or to general fic rec comms were allowed to have a certain amount of 'love this fic, though i didn't think [xyz part] was a strong suit' in them. then came the move to social media-style platforms where public tagging and maximum discoverability of all posts all the time made this much less acceptable to many people, and authors started complaining more and more about fic recs being rude if they ever mentioned anything less than positive. but a lot of people still want to have those discussions about fics with other readers they're reccing them to. the solution was that many people now rec fics privately or at least in "closed" places like discord now. it's partly a very natural outgrowth of a change in author expectations about how their work is discussed. it is not wholly reader-habit driven.

in general, what a lot of more private discussion of fics offers readers IS that it can be a place the author cannot see what's being said out of respect for fannish etiquette. i feel like we as fic authors often fantasize that these group chats and discord servers our fics are being talked about on that are full of nothing but long, eloquent discussions of how amazing the fics being discussed are, cruelly gatekept from the very authors who would love to see these discussions. but listen. i can assure you just as many chats exist because it would be very mean to actually comment 'look, i KNOW the writing is godawful, but this kink is so rare i don't care' anywhere the author has the slightest chance of seeing it. alongside way less extreme examples. but the principle holds, yknow?

if we do want this stuff to go back to being overwhelmingly public, the trade-off is- and has always been!- that people who earnestly recommend or discuss your work in their own spaces are occasionally going to have little caveats or criticisms they think it's important to mention to anyone who might check your work out. and you have to be cool with that. and if you can't be cool with it they're going to do it in DMs where you can't see. shrug.

[the-banana-splits-blog]

3 Banana

Introducing the laid back lion on the bass, Drooper R. Daniels

Any posts with the tag a rad bass playing lion (Drooper) will have Drooper on them

Below is his info post for the blog

Drooper is the tallest and the laidback member of the band, not to mention.. he can be a bit slow or just seem like he’s in a whole different world. He has been deemed the stupidest banana, but he doesn’t really take offense to it since it is just a word to him and he’s smart in his own unique way, like his knowledge of bugs, being able to train them to do tricks and what not. Drooper also seems to be the clumsiest of the bunch and maybe also the laziest too, always seen taking naps throughout the club house or tripping over something (most commonly his tail)

Since retiring from the show, he has worked harder to train his many pet bugs to do all sorts of tricks. He also works to help any little critter in need that he might come across. When he’s not dealing with bugs or napping, you can commonly find him working in the garden he started when they first moved into the club house.

Drooper is currently 27

Personality:

Lazy, slow, tends to not be the brightest, has a big green thumb, bug enthusiast, is also very kind and caring while also not having a care in the world.

Little facts:

Drooper has many pet bugs that he has fully kept as pets rather than releasing back into the wild. The one that has the most tricks is Fletcher the Flea, he loves the little guy to death

You would except him to have not the best eye sight with his eyes looking like they are closed, but he actually has better eyesight compared to Snorky and Fleegle. His eyes are open, they are just so drooped down that it seems like they are closed.. but he occasionally can open one eye half way, can also open both eyes, but it’s only when he is startled.

Has a fear of guns and any sound that is like a gun. He isn’t sure why, but it just makes him feel uneasy

Very fond of the outdoors, he loves to be out there surrounded by nature and tending to his garden

Drooper has a talent for being able to copy a tune he has heard without even knowing the notes to the song. If he hears it on the radio, he can play the exact tune on his bass.

Occasionally Drooper likes to dress up as a super hero named Super Drooper. He enjoys doing so unless there is actual danger about.

Drooper cannot write at all.. he is slowly working on it, but you can hardly tell what he is trying to write. (Of course, he never really went to school growing up…)

Relationships with the gang:

Fleegle- Drooper first met Fleegle when he got the flier to join the band. He noticed that Fleegle was always rather friendly towards him, but it went over his head. As they got older, they still were rather close.. though him being silly or dumb has gotten on Fleegle’s nerves from time to time… but that beagle can’t stay mad at him for long. Their relationship is ok, Drooper is very loving and Fleegle enjoys the attention.

Bingo- Drooper will tolerate Bingo, but he can’t really be left alone for him for long. While they are on good terms today… as teens, these two would fight and bicker nonstop. Fleegle always put a stop to it, but he was a bit late to do it one day… Drooper is unsure why they started to act this way with one another those many years ago.. but he’s just happy they are somewhat friends today.

Snorky- he thinks he’s ok. They aren’t close, but are acquaintances. He isn’t all too familiar with the honk language, but he does enjoy the elephant’s company.

Family:

Drooper’s alive members include his Ma + her side of the family and his younger twin sisters. His Pa passed away when he was a kid and he doesn’t quite know any members on his side of the family.

Drooper’s Ma is Shelby Daniels. She is sweet, but can be quite stern when it is needed. She has raised Drooper and his sisters alone most of their life, but she is taking it one day at a time. She is damaged some, but she doesn’t mind.. it tells stories as she says… though some noticed she gives a different story sometimes…

Drooper’s Pa is Richard Daniels. He was a tall, caring and kind lion with a big heart. Drooper gets most of his personality from him too, Richard also loved to garden and care for the little bugs that lived in his garden. Drooper has many fond memories of being with his Pa among the flowers. None of the siblings know how he passed since they were all so young.

[imtrashraccoon]

Can I request something based on something you reblogged to your side blog? The one about canon papyrus being the only one who doesn’t baby/belittle worry about sans?

Also, I think he’s the smartest of the main AU trio (swap, fell, and canon) because his sole passion being puzzles instead of Murder and Timelines. so including something like that?

Sorry, I’ve never requested a writing thing before but I love your work so much! ^_^

💬

Of course you can, Anon! I hope you like headcanons though because I had no idea how I'd write a crossover like this lol

For those wondering, this is the post in question.

I will preface this by mentioning that I have nicknames for each of these precious bois.

Undertale Sans: Classic

Undertale Papyrus: Vanilla

Underfell Sans: Red

Underfell Papyrus: Edge

Underswap Sans: Dell

Underswap Papyrus: Saffron

Also, I headcanon that Sans is the elder brother in these AU's although the actual age gap may vary. I usually go with about eight years difference because I like the idea of Sans raising Papyrus by himself after Gaster was scattered across time and space. One other thing I should mention is that the Underfell brothers have LV and so Red's HP is higher, but compared to the rest of the Underground, he might as well only have 1 HP.

Papyrus' Thoughts On Sans' Low HP

- While Classic is the weakest monster Vanilla knows, he also knows that his older brother worked extremely hard for years to raise them. They didn't have anyone else and until Vanilla had outgrown his stripes, he was reliant on his brother for everything. They had occasional disagreements of course as children normally do, but no matter what happened they still had each other.

- If Classic was able to do all that, he can handle himself well enough, now if only he could motivate himself enough to properly look after himself. To put it frankly, he respects his brother and loves him dearly.

- Vanilla certainly worries quite a bit about his brother. While Classic is well liked by almost everyone, everytime he gets into an encounter could be the last time. They actually used to spar quite a bit when Vanilla was learning how to use his magic but Classic always avoided every attack. They had to stop though when Vanilla got a little too competitive and Classic began having a hard time keeping up. That was just before Papyrus started trying to join the Royal Guard.

- Vanilla has taken over most of the household responsibilities now, mostly because Classic is struggling with some things, but also because he finds enjoyment in a job well done. While he doesn't really understand what his older brother is going through, Vanilla still loves him dearly and will do anything to try and support him. He's confident that he can help, afterall, he is the Great Papyrus! He is the best at encouraging and supporting his loved ones.

- While Red did his best to raise Edge on his own, they struggled to survive for several years and both had strong personalities which led to many, many fights. They are very much family as they both share the same stubborn nature and are hot-headed to a fault. Unfortunately, this led Edge to resent Red as he didn't think his older brother's rules made any sense. He was the Great and Terrible Papyrus after all! Anyone who would dare challenge him to a fight must have a death wish! It also didn't help that Red wasn't the nicest, but neither was Edge either.

- As soon as Edge was out of his stripes, he got a reality check real quick. Apparently, not everyone would leave him alone, now that he wasn't seen as a child, if he taunted or insulted them. This was when he found out how low Red's HP was. Even Edge had far higher HP and he'd barely been in any encounters so far.

- Cue Edge hatching a plan to both protect themselves (while he resents his brother, he doesn't wish him dead because he's the only one he's got) and elevate his status in monster society like he'd always dreamed. He trained day and night to get stronger and as soon as he could pass as the minimum age to apply, he joined the Royal Guard. As the years passed by, he only grew more ruthless and while Red tried to rein him in before he inevitably got himself killed, Edge was far stronger than he'd thought.

- Red had already been struggling to motivate himself to do basic tasks and so he gave up. He'd done everything he could but Edge had long stopped listening to him, so what point was there in trying? He still looked out for his younger brother of course as he'd made many connections over the years. He just had to endure the constant insults and belittling. It was better than being dead though...right?

- As far back as he remembers, Saffron always had Dell and they were pretty much alone. No matter what happened, Dell always kept a bright smile on his skull and assured Saffron that they would get through it together. Saffron soon noticed that despite his older brother's attempts to be popular and well liked, his continued attempts to befriend people only served to drive them away.

- He had a much easier time making friends and he came to be known as the chill, funny skeleton. Dell was almost uptight in comparison, which Saffron didn't understand. What was the point in getting all worked up and bothered if something didn't go to plan? Still, his brother is pretty magnificent, and he'll always cheer him on.

- Saffron sometimes feels like he's the oldest because he is seen as the more mature one. While deep down he doesn't mean to, it's easy to brush off his brother's ambitions for a more reasonable approach. He won't actually say it out loud, but he is often embarrassed by his brother's antics.

- He got used to pulling strings and calling in favours behind Dell's back, just so his brother could remain blissfully ignorant to what people really think of him. Saffron knows that despite how good of a fighter his brother is, with how low his HP is, he wouldn't last long in a real fight. So he often subtly steers him away from potentially dangerous situations so that he can continue being that beacon of joy and hope for those who need it, like himself for one.

As For Vanilla Being The Smartest...

- I'm not going to rank these characters on an intelligence scale because they're all smart. They just have different interests in my opinion.

- To be fair, Vanilla is passionate about a lot of things, like his friends, his future ambitions, and his various hobbies like cooking and planning battles with his action figures. It just so happens that creating puzzles and usually non-lethal traps is one of the things he is most passionate about.

- Thinking up brand new ideas for puzzles and then actually making them is certainly good exercise for his brain, even if he doesn't actually have one. Most monsters, and later humans as well, don't see that about him though. They see his naturally cheerful and sometimes oblivious demeanor as just that and only those close to Vanilla ever truely see him.

- Sure, Vanilla is a bit slower on the uptake in certain social situations but he isn't dumb at all, far from it! He's the type of guy that would figure out the solution to one of those trick puzzle gadgets surprisingly quickly and then immediately build his own that's much harder. He would get a kick out of a Rubik's cube but would end up trying to make different patterns with the coloured sections rather than simply keep solving it.

- Edge also has a lot of passion, unfortunately he is only publicly passionate about being a Royal Guard and fighting. Behind closed doors though, he has many interests, some of which even his brother isn't aware of. He is passionate about cooking and his future ambitions of course, but he's also secretly a bit of a nerd and he has a soft spot for animals. He'll do anything for his precious Doomfanger and he likes to collect human things like books and electronics.

- While Edge does make traps and puzzles, they lack the finesse of Vanilla's and are generally always lethal. Well that's not entirely true, but they'll definitely maime any unlucky person that gets caught and if they're still alive, Edge pretty much always finishes the job. He tries not to think about it much, but a part of him dislikes putting people out of their misery and he often feels relieved when he just finds monster dust.

- Edge definitely has a better combat sense than either Vanilla or Saffron though, but it's because of the rough world he grew up in and all the experience he has. Also, having high LV makes hurting people a lot easier, both physically and emotionally. The other two would probably still be able to give him a run for his money if they ever sparred, although Vanilla would last longer than Saffron just because he likes fighting more.

- Saffron is an interesting case, as he's technically a combination of Vanilla's appearance but with Classic's personality. He doesn't care for a lot of things anymore as he doesn't see the point. He has quite a few interests though that neither Vanilla or Edge share.

- Despite his overall lazy demeanor, Saffron could qualify as a genius if he applied himself. Growing up, he regularly devoured any and all books he could find, both from the Librarby and the dump. He was, and still is to an extent, interested in technical and scientific things, including theoretical physics. He's friends with Undyne of course, to the extent where she occasionally asks for his input with various projects. Saffron would probably have an easy time if he wanted to apply to be a Royal Scientist so he could be more involved, but he doesn't want to go through all the effort. He quite likes being the lazy, carefree brother.

- Otherwise, Saffron enjoys making people laugh, more often groan, with his humor and he's constantly thinking up puns for various situations. He's also musically gifted but doesn't play much, except to provide incidental humour. (Would he also play trombone or something else? I'm not sure...) Another thing Saffron is good at, is gathering information on people. He's very observant, he has to be though with his role as Judge, and the ease at which he can make friends comes in handy when doing so.

[theizzifromosaka]

I'm Back

Remember when I made those monster categories and said I'd test them out? I went out and looked for some monsters from various sources to try and categorize, and my system mostly holds up.

Here's that post btw, TL:DR the categories were Natural, Extraterrestrial, Paranormal, Artificial and Deific

Reporting my findings, source by source:

Pokemon are mostly what you'd expect. Mostly Natural, a few Paranormal, extraterrestrial and Artificial and a handful of Deific.

There were a few interesting cases I found all in the same vein, where the Pokemon appears artificial or supernatural but is organic

Digimon isn't all that complicated past the initial concept, they're interdimensional beings who can only exist in digital form outside of their home dimension, so they're all Extraterrestrial.

Classic Movie Monsters are once again pretty simple for the most part, but things unexpectedly started to get a bit complicated here.

Dracula, The Wolf Man and The Mummy are all paranormal, Frankenstein adds Artificial to that and the Gill-Man is completely Natural. Surprisingly it was the Invisible Man that threw a wrench into the works, his story is he developed a chemical that rendered him permanently invisible, which I initially made a judgement call on and placed into Supernatural.

Toho is where my earlier judgement call would have to be made again, and where I initially considered making a new category. A lot of weird monsters come from here.

First, a few of the easy ones. Mothra has some vague details in her backstory but it's pretty clear she's either Paranormal or Deific. Jet Jaguar is a human made robot so he's Artificial and Mechagodzilla is a robot of extraterrestrial origin so he's Extraterrestrial/Artificial and many others such as Gigan are simply aliens.

The guy Goji himself, as well as several other monsters such as Biollante and Orga, however, brought up the same issue as The Invisible Man. My phrasing of Paranormal in my previous post was simply "things that should not exist", which ends up encompassing these monsters in a way I didn't really expect.

Godzilla and Orga are monsters who started off much more ordinairy before being mutated in differnt ways, and Biollante and The Invisible Man were intentionally mutated. As a result, I'm considering adding a new category for creatures like this:

Mutant

An otherwise normal creature that has been altered in a significant way, usually ending up as something completely unique

I'm still not sure about this as a category, and I may also change the description to exclude Cyborgs, or the name to better include them, which the description I wrote is vague enough to encompass.

Yu-Gi-Oh also introduces a new complication, though this one's pretty easy to sort out. Specifically, many of its monsters exist in many states which vary the monster's categorization.

The first stage that includes just about every Yu-Gi-Oh monster is the in universe and IRL card games, in which the monster's categorization heavily relies on the card's flavor text if it's present, and must be intuited if not.

The second stage which includes very few monsters is the in universe origins of the monsters depicted on the cards, which don't vary as much as they work very similarly to Jojo stands or Personas from the Persona series. They're mostly supernatural, with exceptions including the Egyptian Gods, who would be Deific.

The same separation concept exists in Scooby-Doo funnily enough (maybe it's a hyphen thing), where there's the perceived nature of the monster, for instance Space Kook being an alien or The Phantom being a ghost, and the creature's true nature as a regular human, which I guess would put them under the Natural category.

Scooby-Doo will occasionally subvert this trope by having the monster being real, such as Charlie the Robot being an actual robot or the Zombies in Zombie Island being real. There are many examples, though the series has been going on for so long it's still relatively underutilized. Other than that it's usually straightforward.

I still need to see if "Mutant" is even necessary, and if it is it needs to be reworked, but my system held up surprisingly well.

[wordsandrobots]

Right. Again, not intending this blog to offer advice on the regular but I think a bit of basic analysis guidance is on theme. So:

If a text does not target its criticisms towards the profit motive and private ownership of the means of production, it is not meaningfully critiquing capitalism.

Capitalism is not 'there are rich and poor' or 'greed is bad', or even 'money motivates people to act'. These existed prior to the capitalistic revolution and could very well endure under any successor systems. A text that deals with them alone -- without targeting the way the pursuit of profit *specifically* leads to distorted social priorities (like running healthcare as if it should generate more money than is put in) and how this manifests when things everyone on the planet needs are controlled by individuals -- is not making an effective argument against the economic arrangement currently buggering us all six ways to Sunday.

This is especially important to bear in mind if dire consequences are presented as a result of 'human greed', because doing so abstracts the problem away from its technical causes, which is one of the key ways capitalism diverts attention from its flaws. If the issue is merely people being 'greedy', then we just need to operate with more checks and balances. No need to tackle the core concept of a system geared to maximise profit over everything else . In fact, maybe capitalism is simply an extension of human nature and therefore *can't* be changed. Isn't it comforting, to know this is just what we're like?

(Urgh, what's the keyboard equivalent of washing your mouth out?)

A story isn't doing anything wrong if it does not concern itself with capitalism as a system. Heck, there's not anything wrong with grappling with the question of greed in general, because that is indeed something we need to grapple with: what does it mean, how does it work, how can we best mitigate it and the other worst aspects of ourselves? Many stories do exactly this while clothed in the aesthetics of capitalism and its many, many horrible outcomes.

But aesthetics are not an argument. And getting mad about social inequality and wars ignited by the whims of the rich is not the same as zeroing in on capitalism as the major cause or catalyst. It is in fact quite common to hate all the consequences of private ownership and the profit motive while still believing those things in and of themselves are neutral, normal ways of organising the world. This filters into fiction, producing ultimately toothless attacks on 'big business' or 'corporate greed' or even just the insidious idea that if we put the right people in charge of the system, everything will be OK.

(I cannot think of a better example than the first Iron Man movie, an almost pathologically deflective piece of cinema.)

Take the time to consciously read fiction through a capitalistic lens! Pick apart how it reflects the world at the point the story was written! Ask how the author approaches the issues they raise!

At the same time, avoid crediting them with an argument they aren't making. Identify what they actually say above all else and check it against the definition of the things they evoke. Only then will you be on solid ground to state whether or not they are attacking capitalism.

To beat a favourite drum, words have meaning. That matters quite a lot when talking about the meaning of a story.

This has been me vague-posting at the entire Gundam fandom. You're generally lovely but I do occasionally feel the strong urge to start pelting you with dictionaries, and burying this point in an essay about McGillis Fareed was apparently not enough to sate my need to grumble about it (c.f. section A digression into narratives about capitalism).

Thank you for your time. I shall be standing by the position that Iron-Blooded Orphans is the only solid critique of capitalism the franchise has produced (as a subset of exploring exploitation in general) until further notice.

[tornoleander]

I’M Oli :3

Adding cause representation Non-Binary&Aromatic

19, I Started watching Ninjago when I was 10 and still love it. Jay’s my fav character and Sog is my fav season.

Not wholesome kid friendly. I swear and dabble in mature topic’s. (No NSFW) I might post slightly gory stuff? I’ll use content warnings but I get if you don’t wanna mess with that.

I do Art, editing, have ninjago Ideas and am absolutely unhinged about Skybound…..

Though I KNOW YOU’RE only here for

Ninjago but only when men are whimpering

Why have I done this? Because someone had to, (I lost a bet) and I take it VERY seriously. It’s a rigorous competition. I don’t miss whimpers but many noises don’t meet my strict qualifications.

S1-S5 are completed

777/6666 likes for the SKybound one

(Will update occasionally)

Yes I set a goal I may never reach. Skybound is this series’s roadblock.

My YouTube

#Oli art is my art

#Oli shrieks is me talking about whatever

#Oli’s Skybound insanity is my skybound related posts and reblogs

V

WARNING: decent amount of Skybound content may include implied SA as is the nature of skybound, so filter out #Cw sa implied if you never wanna see that.

(More about that in about my blog)

#when you think you’re all alone #wytyaa is all stuff related to that amazing fic. It’s by Mondo who I adore READ IT if you haven’t (sa implication and read all warnings)

#bending but never breaking #bbnb my beloved I-…don’t recommend you read it XD. I love Writing_hat But it’s the most traumatic thing I’ve ever read you won’t be able to forget.

And I beta read for them now… *dies

TALK to me about both fics PLEASE. DMs are open Asks are open tag or bug me about anything!

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

So I occasionally browse the notes of this blog just because I know some people Can't Resist Being Shitty in the notes and I occasionally need to go through and block just to keep this blog's engagement positive. However, this evening I found something in the notes that's not exactly...shitty...and more, uh...okay, it's hard to explain. But I felt it's something I wanted to address.

Apparently one of my original posts made it into some fandom drama blogs. I don't really place any restrictions on what blogs people are allowed to reblog my posts to, so I don't necessarily take issue with that. Just a handful of people who Really Like a certain male celebrity (me too btw, but that's not what this is about) and have blogs dedicated to him and have a chain post arguing with each other in my notes.

And I guess in this small segment of the Internet people are getting angry that one blogger made a "woman's issue" about a rich white man. While I never intended my post to be about this certain celebrity, I did want to address something. I am a woman, a cis woman, and so a lot of my posts are about issues that primarily occur in women. But I think it's better if my blog is not exclusive. It's not ONLY women who have these issues. I don't want to make ANYONE'S struggle invisible on this blog.

For example, the original post mentioned things like cellulite, which occurs more often in AFAB bodies than AMAB bodies. However, trans men have AFAB bodies, and some enbies do too. That might be something that causes them to have body image issues, and I would never want them to feel like they can't engage with/relate to a post I made (that never specifically mentioned women btw). Women of course are free to relate to it too!

The post additionally mentioned things like stretch marks and aging wrinkles. AFAB and AMAB bodies both get these.

Not specified in the post, but it's also a natural part of the human experience for disabled people to have stigmatized body differences, and need to love their own bodies as well. Physical disabilities can occur in both AMAB and AFAB people.

I don't know, maybe I didn't need to make this a whole thing. I chose not to engage in that post or respond to anybody on it because it had so little to do with what my blog is actually about, just a lot of people loudly disagreeing on how to be a fan of That One Male Celebrity. Really just Tumblr Being Tumblr. But I think it's important for us to talk about this in ED recovery communities, and recognize it.

It's okay for us to want our own struggle seen and recognized. But we should also take the time to recognize the ED experiences of people whose stories are very different from ours. The traditional ED public narrative tends to be a skinny white cis girl who has anorexia or bulimia. But those who don't fit that narrative still need support and healing. I just want to create a space where everyone can experience that and learn in a positive way.

So unless I make a post that specifically mentions that it's about women - my posts are generally not just for women. I don't believe it takes away any specific resources - since access to my posts are not on a first-come-first-serve basis - for people who do not identify as women to engage a post that many women also identify with. In fact, I hope it might help us to better build a stronger, more understanding recovery community with a diverse understanding of ED experiences.

Off soapbox, send post.

[striddy]

Astrid Rygg.

𝒜𝓈𝓉𝓇𝒾𝒹 𝑅𝓎𝑔𝑔.

𝙰𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚍 𝚁𝚢𝚐𝚐.

Name: Astrid "Stop calling me Mike "Mike Ross" Ross" Rygg Age: 34 Species: Human Education: Mathematical Physics PhD, Sacred Orost University Occupation: Duskham Tower Floor Vassal, Floor 12,000

Please refer to @caligoascendant's blog and his brief post about her for more information about what that occupation of hers means.

Astrid was born to extremely wealthy parents in the nation of Aldia, a corporate hellhole where blood sport is the national pastime. Her father was an award-winning chemist, while her mother was an artist and museum curator. She was groomed for genius and success from childhood, given the best education possible within Aldia. ⠀

From childhood, Astrid had extreme 'talent' in dynamics (effectively a semi-grounded system of magic). Dangerous amounts of talent, the sort that made her liable to kill herself and everyone around her. While most people struggled to use dynamics to any noticeable effect even with dedicated amplifying cores that resonate with dynamic catalysts naturally found in human blood, Astrid's natural dynamics were potentially catastrophic and difficult to contain. Researching and treating this phenomenon, keeping her alive, and replacing destroyed furniture, machinery, and occasionally houses was an extremely expensive process. Over time, Astrid learned how to control her dynamics to some extent. ⠀

Astrid suffers from narcolepsy. This made consistently controlling her dynamics much more difficult than it otherwise would have been. ⠀

Astrid, a prodigy mathematician from her youth, decided to become a physicist and study thermodynamics so that she could understand the ways that her dynamics expressed itself, and learn how to better control it. ⠀

Her brother, Erling, became a world-famous artist and a competition knight in the Rallying Cry, the aforementioned blood sport tournament (where he finished as the runner-up; this was the subject of a TTRPG campaign I ran using a custom system called...the Rallying Cry). Astrid was also present at the same tourney, but as a terrorist instead of as a competitor—something she decided to do on a whim, as a favor for an old friend named Diana. Her actions against the Society of Knights and the government of Aldia branded her as a criminal, though her value as a scientist was recognized by neighboring countries that offered her asylum. ⠀

At some point, she and Diana were offered positions within Duskham by Caligo. Diana became an administrative executor, while Astrid made the decision to participate in the endless ladder match that is the Floor Vassal system. ⠀

Astrid, unlike most Floor Vassals, is not interested in power or proving herself. She's motivated purely by natural curiosity and a desire to understand the world—especially now that she's been exposed to facets of reality that deny rational explanation. She does not buy that anything, even the 'eldritch truth,' is actually beyond the grasp of human understanding. Motivated by a drive for discovering these secrets herself, she's determined the most effective way she can learn is by continually refining her knowledge of the laws of reality by facing and conquering foes that increasingly bend it to their whims. She's honestly not very thrilled by the fighting thing, much less about how many times she has to die in order to accomplish it, but there's little better way to test your theories than in the field. ⠀

At Floor 12,000, Astrid is phenomenally powerful. This is purely in offensive capability, and not in physical might. She's still basically a human being, just one that can revive upon death thanks to the Tower's power. As a glass cannon, Astrid's fighting style is motivated by a necessity to end combat before it starts. She works smarter, not harder; even if she manages to overcome her current limitations and climb higher in the Tower, she likely won't actually get any physically stronger. ⠀

Astrid is an insufferable dork. She's extremely smart, and knows it, and that hubris is her downfall. She has the same problem that many brilliant physicists have, where she assumes that her intelligence in one area makes her qualified to be an expert in anything she talks about. She is very often wrong, because it's hard to actually learn when you're very sure you're already right. ⠀

Astrid is gay. She has a girlfriend named Billy, a Kamina cosplayer who's also a Floor Vassal. Her best friend, Diana/Ascalon, is also gay. They are not gay together. They are very close, but they are just oil and water romantically.