#snzblr discourse

[ana-snz]

More thoughts on the recent snzblr discourse. I will try my best to be understanding and levelheaded about this, but this topic is very personal to me so forgive me if I’m not entirely able to.

I will start by saying that it is not “purity culture” or “moral panic” to say that having this kink does not excuse intentionally infecting unconsenting individuals with illness. There is a MASSIVE difference between enjoying a kink in a consensual setting or fantasizing about it (no one is saying you can’t do these things, you are not being shamed for your fantasies / desires!) and actually involving unwilling individuals in your kink.

Consent is the #1 most important thing in all kink spaces. Like yes we are all here for the same reason, and there may be a propensity to feel defensive if you feel you are being kink-shamed in what is supposed to be a space for us all to be as open and loud and unabashed about our desires as we want, but it is still absolutely crucial to delineate between what is fantasy and what is reality, and understand that our real life actions can and do have consequences. We are not living inside a sickfic, the ways in which we choose to engage in our kink MUST be consensual, respectful, responsible, and safe. It is the bare minimum for this, or any kink space.

It is not kink-shaming to say that non-consensual engagement is wrong and unethical, ESPECIALLY when it comes to something as potentially dangerous as illness. It’s also worth acknowledging that the dynamic of our community has been greatly impacted by COVID, just by the nature of what the kink entails, and that this sucks and is worth mourning, but just like with many other things the pandemic has impacted, we cannot hang on to this old way of being when it no longer is safe or realistic to do so. This is the way things are now, and it sucks, but we can still find SO much enjoyment and gratification and pleasure in the way things are now.

If you are feeling discomfort, if the points disabled people are bringing up around this topic are making you question yourself and your actions, that is likely something for you sit with and explore yourself, rather than trying to debate with disabled people on whether or not their reaction to inflammatory, ableist content is “moral panic”. Understand that this conversation is part of a much, much larger picture and that it is not isolated to just our community, but rather a reflection of a larger systemic response in which disabled people have been disbelieved, undermined, and discarded when it comes to our rights and safety during an ongoing pandemic.

If you didn’t read as much into *that* post as some of us did, great. You likely don’t have to be on hyper alert for this kind of content, but we see it all the time, everywhere. The casual downplaying of COVID and the flippancy about its risks are things we are all too familiar with, and tone policing marginalized folks when we get upset about harmful content is not the move. Listen to us, learn from us, be in solidarity with us. It may seem counterintuitive to you to care about these things in what many of us may see as just a place to escape and have a little fun, but respect is the backbone of kink spaces and we’d all fare well if we could remember that.

This was longer than I planned on it being, oops. I also blocked some people so I don’t even know who will see this but just wanted to add my piece. Love y’all bbs, stay safe ❤️

[snzyspencer]

As a member of the snz community who has an autoimmune disease, I feel the need to add my thoughts on the current discourse. Thoughts are below ⬇️

This should go without saying, but consent is mandatory in any kink space. I’ll be the first to admit that contagion is part of the kink for me, many of my scenarios include someone who is sick being out in public. Despite this, contagion is a THEORETICAL part of the kink for me. In a fantasy? Love it. In real life? Hell no.

Unless you’re with a group of people in private who all consent to being around a sick person, chances are that there will be someone around you who doesn’t want to interact with a sick person. If you are out in public, those people are NOT consenting.

Since 2020 I have been wearing a mask anytime I have any symptoms of illness, even if I knew that I had tested negative for Covid and the flu. I have had people question me about why I’m wearing a mask if I just have a cold. It’s not “just” a cold to some people though, it’s genuinely life threatening. Even if an illness manifests in someone as mild cold symptoms, that’s still not fun! Being sick can disrupt people’s ability to work or take care of their family. Losing a day or two of work impacts people’s income, especially if they aren’t making enough to survive to begin with. Others can’t afford to miss school, they can’t hire a babysitter to watch their kids, or they’ll be missing out on an event in their life that is important to them.

Point is, it’s never cool to get others sick if they’re not consenting. You might not be trying to get others sick, but if you go out in public without taking proper precautions (wearing a mask, frequently using hand sanitizer, blowing your nose away from people, etc.) then you’re still a part of the problem.

From a very young age children are taught to cover their sneezes and coughs, and to stay home when sick. Yet almost no one does this (at least in America. I know it’s normalized in some countries to wear a mask when sick) As I mentioned before I know it’s not feasible to always stay home, as people have responsibilities, but I wish that wearing masks while ill was more common in our culture.

We understand germ theory. We have the education that allows us to save lives. Put that knowledge to good use, and do what you can to make the world a safer place.

[veersnz]

CW : Contagion and discourse

Might take a little break from scrolling around tumblr for my mental health's sake, seeing the discourse going around about intentionally infecting people and overall contagion is really fucking me up mentally. To anyone who might think this is okay, respectfully go fuck yourself. I'm usually a very chill person but this shit drives me insane. For one, this is absolutely vile in terms of consent, you have no right to get people sick for your own pleasure. Moreover, you don't know if the person could get severely sick or hospitalized from your inconsiderate actions. As someone with several chronic illnesses that fights against isolating themselves in fear of getting sick, you're irresponsible and your actions are fucked up.

I love you all, but I gotta peace out for a bit

[agoodcupoftea]

I wonder if consensual contagion is permitted religionwise

But I refuse to ask my Rav about it for obvious reasons

Maybe I'll ask anonymously on one of those online sites

(Dear Rabbi: is it halachically ok for a spouse to sneeze on their spouse if they're sick? Asking for a friend)

[sapphicsnzs]

Funny how your girlfriend has been at the center of this “discourse” and you’ve remained quiet.

first and foremost the “discourse” you are referring to was the conversation from members of the disabled, chronically ill, and immunocompromized community discussing their experiences and tauma about covid. i am NOT disabled, chronically ill, or immunocompromised, therefore, it is not a place where i need to take up space. this was their space to discuss their feelings and i’m not gonna try to insert my thoughts or experiences with covid because i haven’t faced the same anxiety and trauma it has caused them. i am not gonna talk over the voices of a marginalized community. i’m not gonna draw attention away from the bigger picture to insert myself, so instead i’ve been listening to the people that have spoken out and validating their anger and frustration.

second my girlfriend does not need me to defend her and i don’t have anything valuable to add to the conversation (because im not disabled and its not my space) therefore i haven’t said anything. i have been supporting her and other people who have shared their anger and sadness about this. i’ve LISTENED to what they’ve been saying and supporting them however i can.

if there is anything more i can do or if i fucked something up please please message me or leave an anon message.

lastly to all my disabled, chronically ill, and immunocompromized members of snzblr just know that you are seen and heard on this blog and your feelings are ALWAYS valid. i love and appreciate you all🫶

[snzstra]

snzblr discourse

Hearing about the recent discourse on snzblr i had to give my personal input. Although I’m not immunocompromised, I’ve suffered from severe mental disorders that made getting sick really difficult for me. My anxiety and ocd lead to severe germaphobia and the first time i got covid about 3-4 years ago I was put under 24 hour watch because I wanted to end it. Forced contagion is outrageous, this type of behavior should not be tolerated.

On a separate note, those who are immunocompromised are at high-risk when it comes to these things. No matter how small you may consider covid to be now, it could knock someone out who’s already at risk. I for a fact live with a baby who’s too young to be getting sick. If you can’t understand these simple facts, please block me and stay away from my blog.

[ohgodimafraud]

new intro post!!

Hi, I'm Nas. I'm a lesbian and am in my midtwenties. I am an adult and this is a space only for adults. You can use she/her pronouns for me (if you wanna talk about me). I ask that minors not interact with me in any way as this is a space only for adults. Anyone I see engaging with me under the age of 18 will be blocked. Anyone I see behaving in a dangerous or destructive way will be blocked as well. This blog is for sneeze kink stuff including writing, wavs, thoughts, memes, cringe etc. Anything unrelated to the kink will be tagged #notsnz

I loveeee reading and writing fanfiction and am really into anime. I try to tag my stuff as #my writing , fics I like with #snz fic recently started using the tag #friends writing too for my faves.

My fics are pretty much all on here as well.

To paraphrase Mr. WW if you're off that it means you don't mess with it, if you love that it means you do mess with it.

I'm Off That:

responding to people who immediately try to get more jerk off material in my dms, snzblr discourse, having private self-referential on-topic conversations in my dms with people i don't know.

I Love That:

talking anime (snz or not), making friends, reading fics, writing fics, fun asks, snz, snzfics, sickfics. snzblr, memes, snz art, n/intendo,

[mimikusu]

Hi! Thank you for your message, and welcome back ^^ 😊. I'm sorry if a post I made made you uncomfortable. I did not post much about that discourse drama, but felt like I had to at least clarify my opinion as I post about contagion scenarios pretty often. I will tag posts concerning this topic as "snzblr discourse" in the future should I post more about it (which I don'tplan at this point), in case that would help to make my blog a safer space for you.

Also, feel free to reach out via DM as well if you like. To just chat or for example if you wish to block a certain topic, I'm open to adding tags so it's easier for people to just block those.

Plus: I have kind of a fangirl moment right now, because I adore your work 💕

Have a nice day and thanks for reaching out 😊

Even though we already exchanged dms, I'll answer this publicly. Maybe it also concerns others, if not, well... it's still a super sweet and considerate message and I'm very happy you've been so kind about it. First of all, I very much respect when ppl state their boundaries and I think this is a very important thing in any community. However, I very much struggle with anxiety when ppl voice conflicting opinions on ethic matters. This is a me problem, which is why I usually don't engage and maybe whenever something like this comes up, it would be wise for me to just shut off tumblr for a few days or weeks until it's over. Somehow, I just can't... maybe it's the adhd... so I end up causing myself a panic attack and because unfortunately I can not remove certain posts without unfollowing ppl, this time I snapped and I unfollowed a few accounts to minimize the damage. I now started refollowing ppl that I removed due to this, so just don't mind me. 😅

It's super super sweet of you that you first of all didn't mind, but also offered tagging discourses in a way that I could block them! Thank you so much for this!!! I already blacklisted a few word associated with these kind of discussions and I managed to clean my dash enough to feel comfortable again. So maybe next time I don't have to rely on impulsive panic reactions! 💕

And thank you SO much for your super nice tags on the piece I posted yesterday. They made me feel especially guilty about snapping and unfollowing you. 👉👈

Also, I can hardly describe what I felt when I first read your message in my inbox! I'm so so flattered that you'd not even be mad with me (which thanks to paranoia I was certain you would be) but also feeling flattered somehow that I reached out to you about this, even though I've been the one who wronged you in a way by removing you from my dash just because you stated your opinion on something you thought important to say!

[ana-snz]

Also, some of the points I’ve seen people make about this are very much reflective of the larger attitudes people hold towards disabled people and I think that’s why so many of us are reacting so strongly. The whole “disabled people are overreacting and trying to police people, we just want to enjoy our lives! Shame on disabled people for asking to be considered. Stop asking us to think about whether or not our actions are harmful to other people! Oh my god why are you getting so MAD, none of this is even that serious 🙄”

If you find yourself wondering why someone is so upset about something that you may see as not a big deal, remember that your life experience is not the only one and that it’s important to listen to people who are primarily affected by the issue at hand, instead of saying oh well it’s not a big deal to ME, so that means y’all are dramatic and overreacting.

Again reiterating as well that this isn’t just about one persons potential intentions to infect other people. Shit like this is happening all the time, with every person going to work or social events sick and unmasked. It’s a reflection of a larger minimization of what, for many us, is a life or death issue, and disabled people are not required to sit down and shut up about the things that are impacting them IRL just because it makes you uncomfortable. If you’re feeling uncomfortable with the discourse being had, the correct response is to remove yourself instead of trying to silence other people speaking out about their experiences.

[kushamiqueen]

I've been gone from snzblr for a few days (and will be mostly inactive for the next month or so) and now I'm hearing there is *discourse*?

Sorry if I'm not caught up for a while.

[agoodcupoftea]

re: Shavuot scenarios, I love the idea of staying up all night but I just think it’s a disaster for one’s immune system…

See, this is good....

Someone thinking it's just their allergies kicking in as they try to learn but really they're coming down with something

Someone who sneezes during early S/hacharis and blames it on the flowers but really staying up all night has tipped their health scale and they're getting sick

Late night sniffles over a sefer are hot that's all

[sneezy-on-sideblog]

God I saw someone post a wav and in the description they said they tested positive for covid 19 and guys please don't post that shit not only does it make me feel gross for having liked listening to it but most of us feel panicky about the pandemic already and let's not fetishize any part of it

[sunflowersniffles]

A post I didn't want to make

Hello new and returning snzblr users, let's talk about boundaries and consent for a moment.

So I've been a member of the community for 4+ years now, so I've had my fair share of uncomfortable interactions and discourses. However, last night I had a person completely cross the line, prompting me to make this post.

There are a lot of unspoken social rules and norms in our little niche community that maybe should be laid out clearly. If you're new to the space you've probably noticed that many blogs have DNI (Do not Interact) notices in their blog descriptions or in their header images. Personally, I have a DNI and liberally apply the block button because 1. I don't want to interact with minors in a sexual space, and 2. I have seen what happens when our posts leave our side of tumblr (if you remember the pope sneezing post apocalypse you deserve a senior discount). There's other norms on here that I see violated sometimes but this is the most important rule.

What does this mean for you? If you have a blank blog with a default profile picture, a default header image, no blog description, and/or no posts on your page... you're getting blocked. not only by myself but by many others on here. It's not possible to tell if your blog is run by a minor or not, and you also look like a bot (that's tumblr-wide btw, those blogs scream BOT to anyone who's used the site for a long-ass time). So, you know, maybe reblog some posts (or heaven forbid make your own posts) before you start sliding into people's DMs.

Also if you get blocked don't send me an anon asking me why you were blocked. Take the hint and leave me alone, dude.

[ohgodimafraud]

snzfet discourse/setting boundaries

This has been bothering me for such a long time, but I haven’t had the time to sit down and write it out, so if you’re not interested in snzfet discourse pls move on. That’s also the theme of this post.

Last month (I think?) I saw a thread about hot takes being taken down by a few people who were saying it’s ruining their safe space. The replies on the thread were like “hot take I like mess.”��“Hot take I hate mess.” “Hot take, I hate baby talk in fics.” “Hot take I like stifles or hate them.” “HOT TAKE I LIKE THE CHOO BETTER TTHAN THE AHHH” 

It was people literally expressing their opinions and personal preferences. And people became angry and personally offended.

We are all adults here. If you have problems setting boundaries for yourselves, that is a YOU problem. You don’t get to harass others into taking down a harmless post about general preferences and possibly unpopular opinions. Two people saying they don’t prefer a long buildup or some shit when 60+ other ppl like it should not cause extreme drama. I don’t know who these people think they are like “I feel upset by a topic bc of my own personal issues so YOU and EVERYONE ELSE are the problem.” 

It’s one thing to say hey can we please tag emet in this community since it’s a big trigger for many ppl. That’s so reasonable. Can we tag mental health stuff. Can we tag the panorama discussion. What’s not okay is to say, hey can you not say your personal opinion on Ah Choo bc it makes me feel sad :/ That’s called like scroll past.

I think people don’t understand what setting boundaries is. It’s not telling people what to post. It’s saying to yourself, this upsets me and I will scroll past. I will mute these tags. Maybe I will block this blog for a week. It is your responsibility as a fully grown adult to do this, and if you can’t, then probably you should seek help. i’m in therapy it does gr8 things. I literally hear family members talking about the most queerphobic things constantly and have to set my boundaries by leaving the space or putting in headphones. I don’t want to hear that someone saying i like cough sneezes makes you feel icky inside and the person who said they like it is EVIL

This is tumblr. Everyone is entitled to having their own blog with their own posts, thoughts, stories, and opinions.This is not the sneeze fetish forum. (Also even the sneeze fetish forum had a snake pit for venting and objectively I have never seen anything like that happen on snzblr.) If you want a moderated space, go to the forum. I was a mod for like 5+ years, and there has always been some sort of preference topic, likes/dislikes, turn ons/off topic on the forum. This is nothing new. I swear to god my brain cells were killing themselves reading the discourse around such a mundane topic. Literally go touch grass.

You make your own safe space by following people you like, by contributing positively to the community, by blocking content you don’t like. You make this space unsafe for others when you dogpile them into deleting their content.

[ana-snz]

My Dashboard is broken and I can’t see anything at all but tbh it’s kind of perfect timing bc I’m a bit burnt out and probably (hopefully) gonna take a lil break from here. Unfortunately with how much mental energy I’ve exerted over the past few days I’m crashing pretty badly and need to just turn my brain off for a little bit to recharge.

I know a handful of folks think this whole thing was overblown and unnecessary, but I think it did serve to highlight some underlying problems in the community. It sucks to see this pattern of minimization and dismissal that so many of us disabled folks are familiar with in the real world repeat in what is supposed to be a fun place to escape and enjoy ourselves. No one wants unnecessary drama or to argue over something like this, but disabled people also don’t want to be spoken over or dismissed when we’re trying to voice our concerns and point out ableism when we see it. Of course everything can be taken too far, policing the ways people can and cannot express or enjoy themselves on their personal blogs is also not a good or healthy thing to do, but occasionally pointing out harmful rhetoric when it occurs is part of all healthy kink spaces and helps keep our community safe, and it is disingenuous to equate that with being puritanical or overly rigid or moralistic.

Also I think it’s worth mentioning that yes, at the end of the day this is an online community and none of it is That Serious, but by nature of it being it a kink space it is also quite vulnerable and I don’t think it’s abnormal for people to want to feel safe and accepted in it, and that includes other people being respectful of the IRL shit we’ve all got going on, because we’re all real people outside of this app.

I will probably still be lurking (since I’m housebound I have very little accessible to me besides low-pressure scrolling on my phone) and depending on how long this particular crash lasts I might not be gone too long, but just wanted to give a heads up & also remind all my fellow disabled baddies to give themselves a little extra love & compassion this week. It might not seem like a big deal, but getting involved in this kind of discourse (idk why I keep using this word lol, my brain’s just latched onto it) can be more mentally taxing than we realize as it’s often tied to health / medical trauma for many of us.

I hope this doesn’t sound too ✨dramatique✨ lol I just want to highlight that with illnesses that impact energy levels, even things that are important and meaningful to us can put our bodies over their limit and make us sicker, so it’s crucial to make sure we’re pacing properly and taking good care of ourselves. This is supposed to a fun space and if it’s starting to feel more stressful than enjoyable, it’s probably a good idea to take a little break. Love y’all.

(Oh look, another long post! Haha a bitch likes to talk 📢)

[ana-snz]

Follow up on last post:

Am I fighting with the wall? Maybe. But I think this discussion is important to have on a larger scale as well, not just in reaction to *that* post. I personally had also posted something about IRL contagion about a month before this whole thing happened, in response to a few minor things I had seen. My intention was not to fear monger, just to make it clear what I do and do not tolerate on my personal blog. Unfortunately since our kink is so wrapped up in something that is a trigger for me (IRL contagion / recklessness with illness) as someone with a post-viral illness, I have a low threshold for certain content and I’d personally rather just avoid it entirely. Some of the stuff is likely not even stuff other people would clock as “icky” and I don’t want to cancel people over random stuff, but for myself and, as I’ve seen recently, a lot of other disabled folks, the general blasé attitude a lot of folks have over illness is a major trigger since we all KNOW that there major risk associated with it in our current day and age. Even if there isn’t talk of *intentional* contagion, a lot of people just aren’t taking any precautions anymore because they believe COVID is over, and the normalization of this constant, unmitigated sickness can contribute to an overall feeling of unease / unwelcomeness for those of us whose lives are at risk, because we know so many of the people we’re in this community with are engaging in unchecked ableist behavior. Are these things worth dogpiling people over or creating a panic? No. But we’re still allowed to talk about it, we can still engage in discourse about these things that are impacting us IRL. We’re real people, not just horny sneeze robots (lol). There’s room for it all, and I think sometimes people can get uncomfortable when the tone gets too serious, but if that’s the case I’d rather you just block and move on instead of trying to tell us we’re overreacting or creating drama out of nothing. I can’t speak for anyone but myself, but my life revolves around my health. I can’t separate it from any of the rest of me, and I cannot and will not be silent about ableism when I see it. That’s all, thanks.