#the nap really helped like i feel tired but not exhausted like i thought i would

[supercantaloupe]

wish i could give you a hug about your migraines and medication struggles. you deserve to be cared about accommodated

thank you <3 to be clear so far i haven't encountered anyone who's been uncaring or unaccommodating about it. i'm mostly just frustrated at...not necessarily myself, i guess, but at the mere fact of experiencing new existential challenges in my daily life. it's hard and scary to admit that i'm struggling, it's hard to ask for help, and it's hard to do so with the knowledge that most people have very little real way to help other than going "that's rough, buddy"

[raksh-writes]

Twf your body forces you to take a break by making you feel sick and giving you migraine symptoms, like-- thanks, I get it, but could you lay off on the stress if Im to have any Actual rest? Please and thank you :')

[plethorawrites]

Oh, I really, really like your recent blurb! Jason having a secret girlfriend/family is my favorite trope, but it is so hard to find!

Would you write about silly instances where Jason spots his family in public and tries to shuffle and guide you away without you noticing?

Ahh! I feel that validated in both my love of Jason and my love of the secret relationship trope! (This might not be exactly what you were looking for, but I hope you like it anyway!)

The first time it happened was a few weeks into your relationship, back When the two of you would meet for breakfast or brunch at the little cafe, a few blocks away from where you worked.

Jason Todd would always show up, yawning and exhausted from how tired he always was since he hadn't told you about his night job yet. But he was still on time, excited to see you even if he would go straight home and nap immediately afterwards.

The two of you would always spend more time talking getting to know one another than actually looking over the menu and ordering something to eat, but neither of you minded.

Then, one day, while he was looking away from you to hide the smile you had caused, he caught sight of Tim waiting in line to order a coffee.

Without really thinking about it, he grabbed both of your menus, propping them up and leaning over the table, trying to hide both your faces.

You frowned in confusion but leaned in too, until your faces were close together. "What are you doing?" You whispered.

"Nothing," he lied poorly, being his head over the top of a menu to see if his brother was still there and darting his head back down when Tim walked past the table. He let out a breath of relief, staring at you. "You look really pretty this close."

With an amused eye roll you leaned back in your chair, folding your arms and waiting for a better explanation. "You just wanted to talk really close for a moment?"

"Okay, fine," he sighed heavily. "I wanted to look at your freckles, alright? They're adorable. The ones on your nose are really cute."

It wasn't a lie, technically. He did love them. And you actually believed him, he thought. Or if you didn't, you didn't push the topic.

The next time you accidentally ran into somebody was at the mall, when you had dragged Jason along to help you look for a dress for a mystery date night he said nothing about, except for the fact that you had to wear something nice.

It was just his luck that you had picked the same store Stephanie happened to be shopping in as well. In most circumstances, she might not even notice him when they crossed paths in public, but in a woman's clothing store which was relatively empty, there was no way she wouldn't see him when she turned around.

Without warning, he tugged you away from rack you were looking at, pulling you into a cramped dressing room, locking it behind you.

"Wha-" You stared at him like he had lost his mind. "Why are we the dressing room?"

"How do women try stuff on when they can't turn around?" He countered, ignoring your question and planting his hand on the wall by your head to try to give himself more room in the tight space.

"It's typically not made for two people," you explained "Especially not 6'2 men."

He grinned a bit. "Do you like my height?" He asked, enjoying the proximity a bit more than he would admit.

Yes. Obviously. Who wouldn't? He towered over you. His arms could wrap around your entire body without even straining to cover more skin. Plus, he could reach the top shelf so you didn't have to climb on a chair.

But it was still too early in the relationship to tell him that.

"That's besides the point," you muttered. " Why are we in the dressing room?" You repeated.

"I just...always wanted to see a woman's dressing room," he told you, frowning at his own lie.

"Seriously?" You questioned. "You could have at least picked the big one at the end. And you didn't even let me pick anything to try on."

"Right, well..I figured we could try a different store," Jason explained, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. "Nothing here would do you justice."

You huffed, finding it slightly amusing how foolish he was acting. But frankly, it wasn't terribly bad to be stuck in a tight space with him. So, you waited a moment longer before unlocking the stall.

You still had to find a dress.

Things were peaceful for a bit, you and Jason seemed to be growing stronger in your relationship and things began to get a little bit more serious. Jason seemed to be growing stronger in your relationship and things began to get a little bit more intense.

He knew that eventually he'd have to tell his family about you, but the next time he saw one of his brothers in public, he couldn't help but shy away from the task of introducing you.

In his defense, Damian really wasn't the first sibling you would want to meet.

He'd taken you to a nature preserve, because you said you used to go all the time as a kid but stopped after getting older.

You were practically giddy, feeding the animals from your palm, scrunching your nose when their whiskers ticked you. Jason was enjoying it too, more so because of you than the animals.

But while he was mocking you for your squeals, he heard a familiar voice having a one sided conversation with a lemur.

He turned and there was Damian, having his biweekly visit to see the animals that Father wouldn't let him bring home.

Jason cursed internally, pulling you away from the animals, accidentally spilling the feed from your hand.

"Hey, I stillwanted to see the—"

"I'll bring you back, I promise," he said, cutting you off as he dragged you behind a tree.

You wiped off your hand on your jeans and tilted your head. "What is it?"

"I just think you've been giving the animals too much attention," Jason noted. "I feel left out."

"Oh, c'mon," you rolled your eyes.

"Really," he insisted. "You kissed a sloth and a goat but not me."

He pouted a bit and leaned back against the tree, still holding you arm, though loosening his grip before running his hand up and down your arm apologetically.

You sighed, glancing around briefly, not really taking notice of the small, angry child, yelling at some poor worker, before leaning up on your tip toes to kiss his lips very quickly. "Satisfied?"

He smiled softly. "No." He shook his head, pointing to the exit. "Can we leave?" He asked gently.

"Will you bring me back?"

Jason nodded immediately. "Whenever you want," he said.

You gave up and left with him.

Now, if you really thought about it, you could easily put two and two together, but really, the instances were so far apart that you didn't really question the strange behavior.

He had managed to be, for the most part, pretty subtle about pulling you away from his family whenever he encountered them, as few and far between as those moments were.

Like the time you were walking down the street while it was raining and he spotted Duke crossing the street towards your direction. Even though he knew you loved the rain and hated umbrellas, he still pulled his jacket off, covering your head.

"Jay, I told you, I'm fine," you assured him, trying to move it off of you.

"Yeah, but you'll catch a cold," he insisted, pulling even further over your head while blatantly stealing an umbrella from a small stand that was selling them.

He popped it open, covering his own face as you walked past Duke.

"I will not," you told him, finally tugging it off. You frowned, not feeling any rain on your skin. "Where the hell did the umbrella come from?"

"Uh- someone handed it to me," Jason muttered. "Nice man."

And even though he despised running into people he knew because it always put him on high alert, trying to figure out what to do or where to go to keep whoever they ran into from spotting them, sometimes, he actually rather enjoyed the chance to pull you away from the rest of the world.

For instance, when you insisted on going to a carnival, which he wasn't a big fan of at first, until you guys got there and he saw your eyes twinkling at all the lights.

Any thoughts of boredom were quickly drowned out by the sound of your screams on the scarier rides, when you'd reach for his hand. And he bought every single treat you so much as looked at— the funnel cakes, the fresh lemonade, the Carmel corn.

He was watching you pull fresh cotton candy from the stick it was spun around when out of the corner of his eye he caught his brother Dick, along with Wally walking across the fair grounds.

Jason was sure they wouldn't notice you with how far away they were, but he refused to take the chance. So, he interlocked your hands, tugging you into a nearby photo booth as you made a sound of confusion.

"Just thought we should grab a souvenir," he said, beating you to the punch before you could ask what he was doing.

"I'm still eating my cotton candy," You told him. "I should fix my hair too."

Jason got a devilish glint in his eye and ran his hand through your hair jostling it further as you screeched in disbelief. "I think it looks good like that," he admitted, staring at you now that it had a bit more volume.

You blew a loose strand from your face. "I can't believe you did that," you stated. "It's all disheveled."

He nodded, still thinking it looked beautiful. Sort of like how it was when you woke up next to him.

"C'mon," he urged, pulling you into his lap. "I like you this way." He threw a few quarters in the slot and before you knew it you had a strip of three pictures, none of which were appropriate to show to anyone.

A picture of him stealing your cotton candy, a picture of him nuzzling your neck while you scrunched your nose in the way that made his heart clench, and a picture of him tasting said cotton candy on your tongue.

So, maybe it was an over reaction to pull you away from the rest of his carnival when it was huge and chances were Dick never would have even seen you. But God, did he enjoy it.

Then, there were, of course, the far less subtle times which didn't end quite as well.

Like when you just so happened to be walking out of a movie at the same time Cassandra and Barbara were heading into one.

"I think the sequel might actually be better than the original," you told him, arms interlinked as you walked.

"Uh huh," he wasn't paying attention anymore after seeing his sister and Babs at the soda machine, filling up their drinks.

He couldn't exactly pull you into a different theater, especially since he didn't know which one they would be going into.

The next best option? Throwing the empty popcorn bucket over your head.

"Jay?!" You exclaimed.

"It's a discount thing," he muttered vaguely, grimacing at his own excuse. "Wear the bucket out and you get a free movie."

Okay, not the next best, probably. Maybe like...sixth best? Seventh at most.

He pulled you past them, keeping his hand on the top of the bucket to keep it in place while raising his hoodie and keeping on the 3D glasses from the movie until you were past them both.

Once you were, he pulled it off and you were...well, fuming. Rightfully so.

"What the hell was that?" You asked, a bit bitterly, not buying his excuse for a second. "I'm covered in popcorn butter.

He cleared his throat, kissing your greasy cheek and licking his lips tasting a salty popcorn and butter on your skin. "Tastes good, though," he mumbled.

You stormed out on him.

And then, when you chose to walk all the way back to your apartment in frustration, both with his actions and lies, he finally came clean.

"I just... don't want my family to mess anything up between us," he confessed, barely even looking at you.

Vulnerability wasn't his strongest asset, but he was trying. For you.

You washed your face off in the sink for the third time and still felt greasy. Even if you got it all off your face, you'd need a shower to get it out of your hair.

"Why couldn't you just tell me that?" You asked, still confused. It wasn't like you didn't already know who his family was.

"I just- I didn't want you to think I was hiding you," he muttered.

"Jason, you put a bowl of popcorn over my head so your sister wouldn't see me. That's hiding," you stated firmly.

"Yes but it's not hiding out of embarrassment!" He clarified. "My family can be a lot to handle and they might scare you off and they'd definitely mock me endlessly for being in love with you."

His eyes went wide. That...was an accident. He didn't mean to confess that.

You stared at him for a moment, blinking. "Did you just say what I think you did?"

"I uh- well that wasn't..." He cleared his throat. "Yeah," he finally agreed with a slight nod. "But you don't have to say it back or anything, I know I'm not the easiest person to love and it—"

You were already kissing him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer. He was caught off guard, but it didn't take him long before he kissed you back, his hands finding your waist and steadying you both.

"You're stupidly easy to love," you told him, resting your forehead on his.

(+Bonus)

It was a quiet Friday night when the two of you were at a nice restaurant, celebrating a year of being together. The food was good, the music was soft and nice, and Jason was practically a drooling mess over you, like usual.

So much so, he didn't even notice when his father walked into the restaurant with a date of his own.

You did, though. And in keeping with the spirit of what had apparently been a pretty large part of your relationship, even without you knowing it, you slid out of the booth quickly grabbing his hand and pulling him from his chair.

"Hey, wait a second!" He exclaimed as you rushed him out of the restaurant before he got to finish his dessert. "We still have to pay."

"We'll come back tomorrow and pay," you assured him, pushing open the door, into the cold evening.

"What the hell was that about?" Jason asked once you were outside and seemingly slowed down.

You pointed towards the window. "Your dad," you muttered.

He could see Bruce sitting at a table across from Selina, his eyes scanning a menu while occasionally looking up, probably to compliment her or something.

He huffed. "Add that restaurant to the list of places we can't go," he mumbled, shrugging off his jacket and handing it to you. "It got cold outside," he simply said when you frowned in confusion.

You pulled on the nice jacket that matched his suit. "Thanks," you said, wrapping your arm around his, tugging him away from the restaurant. "C'mon, I'll buy some more dessert."

He hummed, and pressed a kiss against your head. "Alright," he agreed, letting you lead him away from the restaurant and down the street.

[korkietism]

Had my blood taken today. Pursuing the continuous hunt of ‘what is wrong with my body’ and ‘why am I always sick’. Praying for results this time around.

[fastandcarlos]

Paddock Naps : ̗̀➛ Lando Norris

summary: it's a dangerous game when lando falls asleep, but particularly when he finds himself falling asleep on you in the paddock

Your head shook as you glanced down at Lando beside you, his head falling further and further down. When you first let him rest in your lap you knew you were playing a dangerous game but you knew with how busy race days usually were there was no way that Lando was going to be able to rest with you for too long. 

Little did you know though how much you were helping him in his mission to fall asleep. The way your fingers ran through his hair, or tickled against his waist all helped him to feel incredibly comfortable, perhaps a little too comfortable if you were a member of McLaren staff. 

Time ran away with you tucked up in the hospitality lounge, but the sound of a figure coughing beside you soon made you look up, and immediately look back down. 

Oscar’s head shook at the sight of the two of you, something he had gotten pretty used to seeing from you. “How has he managed to fall asleep already? It’s barely even one in the afternoon.” 

“Who’s fallen asleep?” A second voice called out, your expression cringing as Daniel appeared up alongside Oscar.  

You didn’t quite know where to look as Daniel’s eyes widened at Lando fast asleep, having to place his mouth over his hand to hold back his laughter and make sure that he didn’t disturb Lando with his laughter.  

“You look very comfortable,” Oscar teased as your eyes met his, offering you a smile. 

“He’s a pain,” you complained, feeling your legs get number and number the more time that passed. As much as you wanted to be annoyed at Lando for falling asleep on you, seeing him so content made your heart swell, knowing just how exhausted he was with the last of three consecutive races looming.  

They all had their moments when they tried to get some peace and quiet, but you and Lando were unlike any other couple around the paddock. Other drivers could only admire how comfortable you were around each other, how little you cared about what others thought of you or how much you wanted to be around each other.  

It was something that terrified you when you first started dating Lando, but he helped you to not worry about anyone else, training you out of worrying about all of the eyes on you. 

“How long until your meeting?” You asked Oscar as he and Daniel took a seat in front of you to keep you company whilst you waited for Lando to stir.  

“We’ve still got a little while yet, we don’t want to wake sleeping beauty up too early, otherwise we’ll never hear the end of it.” 

Your hand gently brushed over the top of Lando’s head once again, tangling gently through his curls as you tried your best to tidy his hair up for him a little. 

“You know he’ll wake up and still complain he’s tired,” you warned the two of them, “he won’t care about the fact that I won’t be able to feel my legs for the rest of the day.” 

Daniel could only snigger as you spoke, “it’s his fault for having such a big head.” 

You struggled to hold back your laughter, it was something that Lando told you constantly, but only now were you feeling the full weight of it weighing you down in your seat. 

After a few minutes of light conversation between the three of you, a groan could be heard from your lap. All eyes looked down as Lando’s eyes fluttered open, grunting at the two men he saw sat in front of him, before glancing up at you. 

“Nice to see you awake, it’s only the middle of the afternoon,” Oscar teased as he glanced down at his watch. “Nothing like a midday nap to prepare you for a race is there?” 

The moment your eyes met Lando’s you could see how needed his rest was. He smiled softly up at him as he continued to wake himself up, shuffling slightly, much to your relief, as you finally managed to slightly move your legs. 

“You really have no shame, do you?” Daniel couldn’t help but joke too. “Do you know how many people have walked into this room and just found you laid out there?” 

Lando shot a glare in response to Daniel, stretching himself up before sitting up in the chair next to you where his feet had been laying, hearing a giggle come from you as you shook your own body awake too. 

“You’re such a lump,” you smirked as Lando looked at what you were doing, watching as you shook your legs, finally feeling the movement come back into them.  

An apologetic pout formed on Lando’s face as he shuffled closer towards you, resting his hand against your lap as his head came down to rest against your shoulder, still a little bit on the sleepy side of life. 

“Don’t fall asleep again,” you warned, jolting your shoulder to keep Lando awake. 

A frustrated sigh came from him, “why can’t you just let me sleep for the rest of the day?” 

“Because we have this thing called work,” Oscar interjected, shaking his head at how dramatic Lando was. “I think Y/N has better things to do then let you throw yourself across her all day.” 

You couldn’t see Lando, but you could imagine the glare that he was sending at Oscar, with Daniel chuckling next to him to add salt into the wounds for Lando. 

“I hate all of you,” Lando confirmed, “I just want to rest, is that really so hard?” 

You knew exactly what would happen if you let Lando sleep any longer. You’d been on the receiving end of Zak before when Lando had missed important team meetings, he trusted you to keep Lando in check and loved to tease you whenever you failed at that job. 

“Come on sleepyhead, you can rest when we’re back at the hotel tonight,” you smiled, resting your head down on top of Lando’s. “I don’t think your bank account will want to pay the fine for another missed team meeting.” 

A hum of agreement came from Lando as he reluctantly sat himself up, still staring at Daniel and Oscar as they continued to laugh to themselves at the scene they saw unfold before them.  

“You wait, I’ll get you two back for this.” 

“We’re just sat here, we’re not doing anything wrong.” 

Lando looked to you for help, but you chose to stay quiet, knowing that Daniel and Oscar had kept you company for most of the time he slept, you couldn’t betray them by siding with Lando now. 

Before Lando could snap back at them, the two of them excused themselves, Daniel ready to head to his meeting, Oscar keen to impress and make sure that he got to the McLaren office before Lando did and keep everyone on his side.  

“I can’t wait to go home tonight,” Lando whispered across to you, sitting himself up again. “Thank you for letting me rest on you babe, I do feel a lot better after it.” 

Your head nodded as your hands cupped either side of Lando’s face. “I promise as soon as you’re finished we’ll head out of here and get you to bed as soon as possible.” 

Lando smiled appreciatively back across at you, resting his head into your left palm. He desperately wanted to stay with you forever, but he knew that he would never be allowed to do that.  

“Go and be amazing and I’ll be here when you get back,” you encouraged, tapping Lando’s cheek as he reluctantly stood up from his chair. “If you get bored, just think about all of those cuddles we’ll have at the hotel tonight.” 

Lando’s head nodded as he leaned down and pressed an appreciative kiss against the top of your head, brushing his hand through your hair. “Thank you for always being there for me, it means the world to me love.” 

“You’re welcome Lan,” you whispered. 

“See you soon, for the most incredible rest.” 

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[phagodyke]

nvm im too tired and overstimulated for this shit

[noctiva]

oh my heavens oh my DAYS i am claiming bunny anon ( this one specifically!! 🐇 )… dewd u have to let me know ur thoughts on toby fluff and smut mixed together!! I AM A SUCKA for it….

LIKE IMAGINE???? HIM COMING HOME ONE DAY JUST SO TIRED.. baby boy just wants to lay back against the couch and just nap and just… reader gives him head.. telling him all sorts of praises and compliments.. overstimming him.. WHOWOWOOWEIHEOHWO and when he finally cums he’s just a sobbing drooling mess of whimpers OH MY LAWD

I read ‘sobbing drooling mess of whimpers’ and FLEW to my keyboard. you are a visionary and i hope you know that thank you for blessing my inbox

//

A Little R & R

Toby Rogers x F!Reader [NSFW!]

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WC: 6.3k

Summary: After a particularly long day at work leaves him practically dead on his feet, Toby wants nothing more than to just sit back and relax. Lucky for him, he has a lovely girlfriend to help with that

CW: 18+ content, explicit sexual content, brief mentions of violence and death, playing with his mouth gash a lil, oral sex (male receiving), wet and messyyyy, begging and teasing, dom/sub undertones but it’s not really that deep, deepthroating, spit and drool, overstimulation, snowballing kind of, praise kink!, borderline body worship, but it’s Toby soooo.. real, tears from both parties, slight dacryphilia, pathetic men!

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NSFW under the cut! Minors do not interact!

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It had been a long day.

Though he couldn’t feel the pain and soreness, Toby could feel the fatigue in his bones. Seeping into his muscles. Weighing like an anchor on his shoulders as he dragged his feet with each shaky step.

He had been up early (well, ten AM. His version of early), and spent the greater half of the day knee deep in forest brush as he tracked down the target for that particular day. It had been cold too. Snow falling and accumulating on the ground below him, heavy boots crunching each time they hit the forest floor. He had felt the effects of it; stiffer muscles, shortness of breath, eyes watering every time the wind whipped past him.

It was supposed to be an easy mission. Tim and Brian were supposed to help him with it. Not that he needed their help, and had made that very clear when they told him they were going to be taking off to deal with something else out of town - but it would’ve been nice. Would’ve been nice to have an extra set of hands, or two, to find and subdue his two victims easier.

Would’ve been nice to have Brian’s gun, to finish them off faster and more efficiently.

Would’ve been nice to get home a few hours earlier.

But he made do, like he always did. Refusing to let himself look less than capable. It had taken him far too long for his liking, but by two PM each of his hatchets had found a new home lodged within the skulls of two very unfortunate souls. Blood against snow. So stark and bright against the previously unblemished backdrop.

It was really, quite picturesque. He however, was too annoyed and exhausted to really take in the sight. Because though the job was over, it wasn’t really over. He still had to drag these two heavy, limp bodies off to some even more secluded area of the forest. Dig a hole in this frozen, snow covered earth, then throw them in.

And he wasn’t even getting paid for it. God, this was stupid.

By three PM, he was finally walking back. Back to the little cabin he had made a home out of with you. Which, really, was one of his only motivating factors nowadays. If he just got through the day, and did what he needed to do, he’d be rewarded with the gift that was your company.

Your voice, so sweet and soft as you asked him how his day was. Your hands, so gentle as they carded through his hair - nails scratching against his scalp in soothing patterns, sending a shiver down his spine. And your smile. God, how he loved your smile. So lovely and warm, bestowed upon him. Like he wasn’t a killer, a monster of a a man.

With you, he was just… Toby. And he liked that. He liked that a lot.

The work didn’t stop when he got home though, much to his dismay, because he was very quickly reminded of his other job. Caring for you. Not that it was really a job, because he liked doing it, but fuck if he didn’t wish he was a normal member of society on days like this one. A person who could just drive to the grocery store, because it wasn’t a literal forty minute journey away.

But he didn’t have that luxury, and so, if he wanted to eat tonight - he had to go hunt for it.

Toby had popped inside for a little while, given you a kiss on the cheek and asked about your morning, but far too quickly thereafter he was trudging out the doors of his home once more and walking back out into the woods

Again, he never minded providing for you. If anything, he got gratification from it - knowing that you relied on him. It felt good to be needed, to be loved and appreciated.

But man, he was exhausted. His muscles were screaming at him by the time he had trekked back home, hauling a deer carcass with him that he would no doubt also need to skin and butcher before he handed it over to you.

Work was never over. It was never over.

When he finally walked through that cabin door for the final time that day, Toby was dead on his feet. His eyes were drooping, hands trembling from fatigue, knees weak as he forced himself to take step after step. He felt like he may just collapse any moment, but all he had to do was make it to the couch.

Maybe take a little nap while you cooked dinner, then have a meal with you before retiring to bed for a well needed night of rest.

That sounded lovely.

“Toby, hun? You alright?” He heard your voice as he dragged himself towards the couch in the living room, and glanced at you before offering you a tired smile.

You were peeking out from the kitchen, barefaced and beautiful, wearing what he recognized to be one of his hoodies as you leaned against the doorframe. Christ, you really made it all worth it. Just the sight of you alone, so sweet and pretty, like an angel that floated around his home.

For a moment, you made the fatigue riddling his body seem not that bad. The guiding light in the gruesome, abhorrent string of events that was his life.

“J-Just tired.” He murmured back to you softly, as he reached a hand up to tug down the hood that had been covering the shaggy mess of hair atop his head. His signature orange goggles rested snugly in the strands, lenses scratched and stained with what you knew was blood. Human, or animal? You weren’t sure. Probably both. “Long d-day, you know?”

You hummed softly in response, watching with a keen eye as he slowly made his way over to the couch - then promptly flopping onto it. Sprawling his limbs, sinking into the cushions, eyes fluttering shut on contact.

He looked drained. Completely, utterly, rinsed clean of any energy he had when he first left the house this morning. His eyes were closed, long lashes resting against his cheeks, body near limp as it sunk into the sofa. You watched as his chest rose and fell with every breath, soft and slow, his lips parted.

He looked… Pretty, you thought to yourself. So pretty as he lounged against the couch, his body tired and worn.

So tired, because he had been caring for you. Keeping you safe, bringing you meals, making sure you were happy.

He lived and breathed for you, it seemed. A fact that was never lost on you. Toby put all of his time and effort into making sure life was nothing but a breeze for you, and you had to wonder… Did you deserve it? Did you provide for him, just as he provided for you?

You tried to. Washing him clean of blood and grime, stitching his wounds shut when he came home beaten and bruised. Patching up his clothes and trimming his hair. Was it enough though? Would it ever be enough?

Did he know, just how much you meant to him?

You’re moving before you even realize it, the meat you had been planning to prepare left sitting in the refrigerator. You couldn’t help it, you felt as if he needed you, right now. Needed to be appreciated, loved, needed to know just how much you valued every little thing he did.

You reach the couch in record time, and then you’re sinking down to your knees. You rest your head on his chest, your hand coming up to rest on his stomach - feeling the warmth of him through his stained hoodie. You feel as his jolts at the touch, eyes snapping open, immediately honing in on the sight of you so close. “W-What’s up?” He asked hoarsely, gaze directing down to your hand, and the way it had begun rubbing soothing circles against his abdomen. The touch gentle and soft, just as you always were.

“Missed you.” You murmur back to him, looking up at him as you press your cheek to his chest. He’s staring down at you with half-lidded, tired eyes, confusion evident in his irises. “You know I love you, right? And all the things you do for me?”

“I-I don’t do muh-much.” Toby mutters back to you with a sheepish little smile, bringing a hand up to rest upon your head as you nuzzle into him. His arm felt like it was made of lead as he raised it, fatigue seemingly flowing through his veins. But he would endure it for you, to touch you. To hold you close. “Just d-doin’ what I’m supposed t-to.”

“No…” You answer back to him, before raising your head up. From there, you bring your whole body up - crawling onto him so fluidly it barely makes the couch rustle. Almost like you were supposed to be there. You watch as his eyes widen minutely, fingers twitching in the air where they had once been resting against you, and you smile sweetly down at him. “You do so much for me, baby. You know that, don’t you?”

You sit up, thighs straddling his hips, your body pressed so undeniably close to his now. You know he can feel it, if the way his cheeks had begun to flush was anything to go by. He looked so cute like this, all wide eyed and pink all over. Eyes still drooping from exhaustion, but fighting to stay open just so that they could fixate on you.

You hum softly before lifting your hand, bringing it up to cup his cheek. The marred side. Sensitive, you knew it was, and so you grazed your thumb against his exposed gums on purpose - just to see what his reaction would be.

His reaction, proved to be absolutely lovely.

He whined softly, brows pinching together as your fingers grazed the sensitive flesh. A surge of tingles wracked his body, stemming from the source that was your touch. So soft, so light, and yet it was everything. You set his body on fire. You always did. Your touch a force that sent him reeling every single time, and he wasn’t sure if it was because he was so tired, but it felt like the intensity had increased tenfold as you passed your fingers over his skin. “So good to me, Toby. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Y-You’d be fine.” Toby mutters, though his words do come out shaky. He can’t help it when he leans into your touch, and you feel it when a small amount of saliva seeps out of the gash and wets your palm.

Already drooling? God, he’s cute.

“Nuh uh.” You giggle back to him, your eyes somehow both sickeningly sweet and suffocatingly heady as you look down at him. From your perspective, gazing down at him as he looks up at you with a mounting desire in his gaze, Toby looks like a dream. “You’re everything to me. My sweet, sweet boy. Always making sure I’m safe.”

Your palm leaves his face, dragging down his jawline and brushing against the stubble there - and you watch as his neck flexes under the gentle touch. “Always working so hard. Getting up early, staying up late.” Down his neck, your fingers trail. Feeling how his Adam’s Apple bobs when he swallows thickly, his pulse fluttering under your touch. Your palm comes to rest on his chest, and then you can really feel his heartbeat. Racing. Near frantic from your tender hands. “I don’t think you give yourself enough credit.”

“SS-Stop it, baby.” He chuckles sheepishly, the pink flush on his cheeks spreading up to his ears and down to his neck. All pink and pretty beneath you, that’s what he was right now. Trying to fight it but doing so in vain. If it wasn’t the colour of his face that was giving it away, it was the look in his eyes.

Dark, pupils just widening more with each word you spoke. “I’m j-just doin’ my job.”

“You don’t have to do any of this.” You murmur back to him, pressing your palm against his chest before it starts to trail down lower. Over his ribs, down the slope of his abdomen. Feeling how his muscles tense under your touch, even through the layers of clothing. “But you do. Because you’re amazing.”

Slowly, your fingers reach the hem of his jeans and curl underneath it - feeling the fuzz of his happy trail graze against the back of your hand. His hips, ever so impatient, jump at the contact, and suddenly he looks more awake than ever.

“W-What are you doin’?” He asks, like a deer in the headlights as he lifts his head a little. If you thought his pupils were wide before, they were damn near swallowing his irises now - especially when your fingers drift down a little bit lower to play with the buckle of his belt.

Your eyes lift to meet his, a playfulness in your gaze that makes his heart stutter (and his cock come to life).

“Just… Showing my appreciation.” You hum softly as you lazily play with his belt. Not undoing it yet, just toying with it. Making your presence known. Your nails clink against the metal of the buckle, and his heart rate kicks up a notch. “Don’t you think you deserve it?”

You didn’t think it was possible for Toby to go even pinker, and yet he manages it. You hear it as his breathing trembles on exhale, his whole body going taut the more you teased him.

“N-No. I mean… I-I don’t-“ He’s fumbling for words, stumbling over them and stuttering more than he usually does. He’s looking at you like he’s never been touched by a woman before, all flushed and shaky. As if you hadn’t gone down on him more times than you could count. As if you didn’t have the taste of his cum ingrained on your taste buds. It’s… Adorable. Really sweet, actually. “I just… I mean- You d-don’t have to.”

“I know I don’t have to.” You giggle softly, raising an eyebrow at him. “I want to. Do you not want me to?”

You want to. You want to make him feel good. His body had been growing increasingly hot since you had first settled onto his lap, but he felt like he was burning up now. His skin was on fire, his clothes feeling more and more suffocating with each touch you laid upon him.

“Of c-course I do!” Toby rebuts immediately, so eager it makes a grin spread onto your lips. “I just d-don’t want you to feel like… I’m expecting it. B-Because I do things for you.”

You could swoon right then and there. Could you fall even more in love? You didn’t think it was possible, but he was really proving you wrong right then and there. You could just eat him up. All twitchy and tense beneath you, a visible bulge growing in his jeans throughout the course of the conversation. He was so reactive to you. Always had been. Getting hard if you did so much as place a soft kiss against his neck.

It was one of your favourite aspects about him, really. His desperation.

“Don’t be dumb.” You chastise lightly, a sweet smile on your face that told that your words weren’t to be taken completely seriously. “Have you ever considered that maybe I like doing it?”

And just like that, all of the blood in Toby’s body rushes south.

“Y-You do?” He chokes out, his chest feeling tight and his pants feeling tighter. He watches in a daze as you start slowly pulling his belt undone - pretty polished nails and soft fingers, working to get him bared for you.

“Uh huh.” You speak back to him in a low murmur, your own heart jumping as you pull his belt free. You don’t stop there, languidly tugging it from the loops, wanting any restriction completely removed. “Is it really so surprising? I love all of you.”

You drop his belt to the ground, a movement that his eyes flick over to for just a second, before they’re fixating on you once more. This absolute goddess on his lap, turning him to mush without even placing a single finger on him yet. “I love… Your eyes.” You hum as you pop the button of his jeans. “I love your voice.” You start to tug his zipper down. “Love your laugh, and the way your eyes crinkle up when you do.”

Once his zipper is down fully, your fingers grasp his waistband again - shimmying it down low on his hips until he got the hint. He got it rather quickly, shifting on the couch to let you pull the material off of him completely.

Left just in his boxers, you can really see the effect you have on him. Cock straining against the thin material, a visible tent with a wet patch at the tip. You lick your lips, before taking in a shaky breath. “I love how sweet you are to me. I love your hair. Love your nose.” You slide your body back a little bit, making it easier for yourself as you lean down low - bringing your face closer to his confined length. “And I love your cock.”

Was he melting? Toby was sure he was. His joints felt gooey and his entire body scalding hot. Not to mention, he was tingling all over - your soft whispered praises making him squirm beneath you. He wasn’t quite sure how to handle all of this, really. Being the focal point of your unwavering desire.

Normally, when something like this happened, you were at least bared as well. Just as vulnerable, just as shaky when he touched you just right. But this time, it was only him. Him, exposed and desperate. Him, on the receiving end of all your sinful words. No distractions, no other motive, just him.

He thinks he might just combust if you keep this up.

Little did he know, that was the plan.

You dip your head down low, nuzzling against his clothed length with a soft moan. Feeling how achingly hard he was, the pressure of it against your cheek when you rubbed up to him. His hips jolt at the contact, a strangled noise leaving his lips.

Your eyes flick upwards, and you see him watching you - his gaze equal parts aroused and in disbelief as you part your lips. “I’m gonna take care of you, don’t worry.” You murmur as your hands drift down his body to splay against his hipbones, holding him in place even as he tried to rut up towards you impatiently. “Just gotta be patient. Sit back and relax, okay?”

Easier said than done. Especially when you stick your tongue out and drag it against the length of his clothed cock. “So hard for me already.” You coo softly against the fabric, lips brushing against him in the most tantalizing way. “You look so good like this, you know? So hot.”

Toby thinks he genuinely might fucking pass out. The sight of you, mouthing against the tent in his boxers, face flushed and eyes dark, makes him feel woozy. Not to mention, you just keep talking. Just one layer away from his throbbing desire, showering him with compliments in that sweet, sweet voice of yours.

If you’re not careful, he might just cum before you even get him fully bare.

(You’re aware that’s a possibility, but would that really be so bad?)

“Y-You-“ Toby’s voice chokes off when you bring a hand downwards, leaving his hip to cup his length instead. Curling around it through the fabric of his underwear, squeezing with just enough pressure to make his vision go blurry against the edges. “J-Jesus fuck, you’re one t-to talk.” He manages out, voice trembling and wracked with stutters.

You hum softly with a sly smile on your lips, before pressing a kiss to the head of his cock.

“Maybe…” You murmur softly. “But this isn’t about me.” You lift your head up, hand still pressed against him but your lips wander. Tracing the his happy trail with a line of sloppy kisses, smearing spit against his scalding skin with each one. “This is about you.” His muscles tense up under your lips, abs flexing beneath you each time you make contact with his skin.

Slowly, you start to move your hand. Stroking him lazily as you drag your tongue against him, revelling in all the little whimpers and moans you can hear him trying to hold back. “This is about how much I love you,” You nip at his hipbone lightly, and you would swear his entire body jolted. “About how good you are to me.” You rub your thumb against the head of his cock through the fabric, and he’s hissing through his teeth. “How you deserve all this, and more.”

You can feel him throbbing under your palm, twitching every so often and so incredibly hard. If this were any other night, he’d probably be balls deep in your leaking cunt by now, but this wasn’t any other night.

As you had told him so explicitly, this was completely and utterly about him, and him alone.

“B-Baby-“ Toby’s gasping out when you squeeze him softly, right as your mouth starts to suck a red mark just above the waistband of his underwear. “Y-You gotta- I can’t-“ His words are strained and hoarse, like he’s forcing them out - and when your gaze lifts to look at him you can see why.

His head is tilted back now, jaw tense and muscles taught as his chest heaves with every shaking breath. He’s flushed all over, right down to his collarbones, and his hands are gripping the couch so tight his knuckles are going white. There’s a glint of light, and that’s when you notice the line of drool running down his neck. “I need- need to feel you. Puh-Please. D-Du wirst mich b-brechen.”

When he slips into his mother tongue, that’s how you know you’ve really gotten him good. Usually, that only really happens when he’s already deep down your throat, so to hear it before even properly touching him makes your heart jump in your chest.

He’s such a mess already. Such a beautiful, trembling mess.

His eyes, which had previously been squeezed shut, flutter open when he feels your actions still momentarily, and- Holy fuck, is he about to cry?

You can see it, the glassy sheen, making his eyes glitter when the low lights of the living room hit them. His eyelashes are damp and clumping together, and his bottom lip trembles when he releases it from where he had been gnawing it between his teeth. “S-Sei nicht gemein.” His voice quivers, and you think for a moment that you might just be a little bit of a sadist - because you don’t think he’s ever looked more lovely.

But you won’t push him. Not tonight.

“Am I being mean?” You ask softly, eyes locked on his when you shimmy down his body again. His breath catches in his throat when your lips hover over him once more - breathing out a hot puff of air against the dampened material. “I’m sorry, baby. Wasn’t trying to be. Just wanted to see if you tasted as good as you look.”

You finally, finally start to tug on his boxers. “You do, by the way.” Lower and lower you pull them, until his cock springs free just inches from your face - hitting the tensed muscles of his stomach with a slap. The moment you catch sight of him, you quickly understand why he’s so bent out of shape.

He looks painfully hard, his length flushed red and leaking at the tip as it throbs against his skin. You don’t know if you’ve ever seen him more worked up than he was now. And you’re a lot of things, but you’re not cruel.

You said you were going to take care of him, and so that’s exactly what you’d do.

You wrap a hand around the base of him, fingers curling into a gentle grip, and Toby has to fight to not just cum from that alone. Your hands, so soft and tender, felt like an angel’s touch. His chest heaves, a gasping breath leaving him when you start to slowly pump his cock. Gathering up all the sticky mess at the tip to slide it back down, grip with just the right amount of pressure, thumb dipping into his slit on each upstroke.

“H-Hah-“ Toby sinks into the cushions, mouth dropping open as soft little pants leave his lips. “Y-You.. Fuck, I l-love you.”

“Love you more, baby.” You murmur back to him, then you’re finally dipping your head down to where it needs to be. Your lips part, and you stick your tongue out before dragging it flat up the length of him - eyes on him the entire time.

Toby’s becoming increasingly convinced you’re trying to send him into cardiac arrest.

The sight of you, looking so lovely and sweet as you peer up at him through your eyelashes. Your hand languidly moving against him as you give a few kitten licks to the tip of his cock. Lapping up his precum greedily. It’s like, the perfect combination of cute and provocative, and so he really can’t help it when his hips buck up towards you eagerly. Especially not when you circle your lips around him.

“A-Ah, Scheiße-“ He hisses out, eyebrows screwing together when you start to sink your mouth down onto him - your hand still working every inch you hadn’t swallowed up yet. You’re so warm and wet, cheeks hollowing around him as you take more and more of him in. Lower and lower your head sinks, and by the time he’s bumping against the tense muscles of your throat - Toby’s thighs are already trembling beneath you.

His whole body, is trembling actually. Ragged huffs of breath spilling from his lips, along with a flurry of gasps and moans then send a bolt of heat straight down to your gut. His voice has become increasingly raspy, a fact that has you shifting your thighs together as you work to take him all. Even more so when he lets out a soft whimper before whispering; “Y-You feel so good.” The words come out as more of a whine than anything else, so desperate and overwhelmed. “D-Du fühlst dich wie H-Himmel.”

You let out a little hum in response around him, and the vibrations it lets out makes his toes curl. It’s when you take in a deep breath through your nose and sink down even lower, that his eyes are rolling back.

Your nose bumps against his pelvis, nuzzling into the soft fuzz there as his dick slides all the way into your throat - muscles wrapping around him like a glove. A soft gag from you just makes them tighten around him further, and he’s choking out a strangled cry.

You feel it when a shaking hand comes to rest on top of your head, desperate in the way his fingers immediately curl into your hair. Tugging a little too hard, maybe, but you really can’t blame him. Besides, the sting it produces isn’t even an annoyance either - it feels nice. Feels like he’s clinging onto you for dear life. Like he’d crumble apart if he ever were to let go.

Your tongue darts out, and then you’re licking up the small pool of spit that had already begun to accumulate around the base. When you start to pull your head up, an absolutely filthy slurping sound accompanies the action.

It rings in Toby’s ears, only further spiking the temperature of the heat he was completely consumed in. With laboured breathing his head is spinning, legs twitching and trembling beneath you - fingers wrapped in the strands of your soft hair. He wants to keep watching you - how your lips stretch around him, the sight of his length disappearing into your throat with each bob of your head - but it’s really a struggle.

He can barely keep his eyes open, and even when they are his vision is fogged up and unfocused. He is able to still make out how lovely you look though, flushed pink with a paralyzingly potent look of desire in your eyes. Tears cling to your lashes before they start running down your cheeks, and yet you just keep pushing. Taking his whole length every time you bring your head down, eyebrows furrowing together at the feeling of him filling your throat.

And he just can’t help himself.

The hand on your head gives an experimental bit of pressure, just seeing how you’d react. You nuzzle into his palm as your drag your tongue back up his cock, meeting his eyes with a gaze that left no questions. ‘Go ahead’. It said. ‘Do whatever you want’.

His fingers twitch. You had really meant it when you said this was all about him.

Almost hesitantly, Toby uses his grip on your hair to tug you w upwards, revelling in the way your tongue dragged against him along the way. When you’re left with just the tip enclosed in your lips, he lets out a shuddering breath. “S-So fuckin’ pretty.” He murmurs, absolutely entranced by the display in front of him. “Womit ha-habe ich dich verdient?”

Your eyes sparkle with unshed tears, and he’s completely captivated. Slowly, he pulls you back down - lips suctioning to the taut skin as you suck him back in.

He just can’t take it anymore. His head lols back against the couch’s armrest, eyes squeezing shut as wave after wave of white hot ecstasy washes over his entire body. He feels like he’s drowning in it, his head stuffed with cotton as he gasps for air. With his jaw hung open, he can absently feel the slickness as drool pools in his mouth before rolling down his chin - but he’s too far gone to even care about it.

It runs down the slope of his neck, dirtying the collar of his sweater and leaving his skin glistening. It’s just too good. You’re too good. Taking everything he was giving you so eagerly, letting him bob your head up and down on him without so much as a little whimper of complaint.

You were just eating him up. Slurping up the mess you were both creating happily, flicking your tongue against the tip every time he pulled you up. You can tell he’s incredibly close. Hell, he’d probably been holding it back for awhile now. Throbbing and twitching against your tongue, so hot and hard it felt like he might just burst any moment.

“SS-So good- So- hah- Fuck, you’re amazing.” His words are barely more than mindless babble, slurred and shaky as they pour out between moans. It’s like you’ve melted him, reducing him to a puddle of mush that you were lapping up eagerly.

Any issues from before had been wiped away completely. The fatigue, lingering frustration and annoyance from how the day had played out - it’s all gone. You’re the only thing that existed right then. You, and that glorious mouth of yours. “I’m- I’m so close, b-baby. I can’t. F-Fühlt sich zu g-gut an.”

If your mouth wasn’t stuffed full you would’ve cracked a grin.

He’s a pitiful sight right now, really. Skin smeared with drool and sweat, eyes screwed shut with tears clinging to his lashes. He’s a trembling, twitching mess - filling the air with strained whimpers and gravelly moans.

You can’t help but feel a little proud of yourself, for reducing him to such a state.

Your hands, which had been resting on his thighs, drift upwards. Over his hipbones, under the hoodie that he still donned - pushing it up to his chest. His muscles are so tense, abs more prominent than ever as they contract and relax with each nod of your head. You splay your palms wide against the skin, and Toby’s so sensitive now that he quite literally jolts at the touch.

He felt like his nerves had gone into overdrive, the simplest touch from you sending sparks of pleasure through his entire body. Your hands against him left what felt like two burning handprints against his abdomen, tingling wherever your skin met his. You feel his cock throb when he reaches your throat once more, and you know just how to push him over.

Curling your fingers, you slide your hands down his stomach - dragging your nails against the sensitive flesh as you do so. You feel his muscles convulse beneath your palms, and Toby’s letting out a sound closer to a sob than anything else as his hips kick up towards you. “A-Ah, fuck- D-Du bringst mich um.” His grip on your hair is definitely painful now, tugging at your hands so harshly that the sting is undeniable. His bucking hips start to stutter, choked off whimpers spilling from his lips before he’s gasping; “I can’t- I c-can’t, baby-“

You hum around him in encouragement, rubbing your thumbs over his hipbones in slow soothing circles. That little gentle touch, is what seemed to be the final straw.

Toby lets out a broken cry as his hips buck into your mouth, and then his shoulders are drawing back as his release hits him like a ton of bricks. It’s a pitiful sound really, a long drawn out whine followed up by a few cracked sobs of pleasure as stars dance behind his eyes.

He spills into your mouth, coating your tongue white with rope after rope of sticky warmth. You take it all like you had been starving for it - suckling at the tip to draw it all out as he squirmed and gasped on the couch beneath you. Was it too much? Maybe, but he just tasted so good - and the sounds he was making were even more delicious. It’s really hard to find the will to stop.

You don’t let up until he has to beg you to. “B-Baby- ‘S too muh-much-“ He’s whimpering out, cheeks moist with tears as his eyes flutter open to gaze down at you. He’s sniffling and shaking when you finally release him with a soft ‘pop’, and you press a kiss to the tip before you let go of him completely.

Another kiss meets the skin just below his belly button as you reach down to gently tuck him back into his boxers. His skin is still so hot to the touch, and his thighs tremble when your fingers lightly graze them.

Slowly your eyes lift as you bring your head up, and you meet gazes with Toby’s hazy ones. He looks so sated and satisfied, limbs practically limp as they sprawl against the couch cushions. Still though, he finds the energy to lift his arms and grab at you. “C’mere.” He mumbles softly, already tugging you close before you can even agree (not that you’d ever protest).

You sink into his arms easily, your body pressed to his - exchanging heat, sweat, and everything in between. Your hand lifts, and then you’re cupping his face once more, gently wiping away some of the drool on his cheek with the sleeve of your sweater.

“So sweet.” You whisper softly, tracing the curve of his jaw with your thumb. Toby’s staring up at you like you’ve hung the stars in the sky, lovestruck eyes half hidden behind drooping lids. “I love you.”

His lips stretch into a lazy smile, forming those little creases in his cheeks that you adore so much. He leans into your touch, a soft little sound of contentment leaving his lips. Then, he reaches up with a shaky hand. It finds a home back in your hair again, cupping the back of your head tenderly before he’s pulling you in closer.

“L-Love you more.” He answers back in a soft breath, one that washes over your lips before he closes the gap between you.

His lips are slick and the kiss is sloppy, but you melt into it regardless - moaning softly into his mouth when he nips at your bottom lip.

He can taste himself on your tongue when he licks into your mouth, a fact that makes a shiver go down his spine. He can still picture you, every time he closes his eyes - nestled between his thighs. So beautiful, and so determined to make him feel good.

Quite clearly, you had succeeded.

Toby’s reluctant to pull away, content with just lazily sliding his tongue against yours as you let out the sweetest noises that he just swallows right up. But, he does anyway, and a thin line of saliva connects the two of you for a moment as he pulls his head back.

Somehow, he looks even more smitten than before. “I think…” His fingers move, lightly scratching soothing patterns against your scalp. “I th-think we should have a later d-dinner. I don’t really want t-to let you move any time ss-soon.”

You let out a soft giggle and nod, easily conceding as you snuggle into him further. Your head comes to rest on his chest once more, and you breathe out a soft little sigh. His hand slides upwards, gently petting the top of your head.

“Sounds good to me.” You murmur.

Toby lets out a tired little hum, letting you lounge against him as his head tilts back once more - resting against the cushions. He can feel your heartbeat thumping against his skin, the weight of your body against his a comforting pressure.

His eyes flutter shut, and he lets out a tired breath.

He’s asleep mere moments later.

—————————————————————————☆

HOOOOOWEEEE I had a BLAST writing this! loved this concept so much I banged this whole thing out in a couple hours no breaks

something about a man crying and whimpering will do it to me every time

if any of you reading are waiting for me to post part two of my one toby fic it is being edited as we speak! just wanted to get a few asks done first - thank you for being patient <3

and as always thank you for reading!

[vampirehoon]

txt reactions when you fall asleep on a couch (_ _ )z

a/n ✧ this is my first try at group reactions and i hope they’re ok. i would love to do more of these with requests of what to do. i would gladly take requests (also thank you for the likes!)

✧ YEONJUN

he’d been showering before he’d join you to watch a movie together but he took longer than you expected.

he found you fast sleep on the couch, pillows propping your head up and a blanket draped over your legs and waist.

ofc this man would find you very adorable, covering his wide smile as he fondly takes a pictures to stop himself from saying how cute you are out loud (he doesn’t want to wake u up.. yet)

he’d leave you to tidy up your bedroom so he could wake you up and take you to bed.

insisting he hold you bridal style back to bed, you held onto him weakly and he brought you to bed safely.

you two got cozy in bed, in each other’s arms, and yeonjun’s smile didn’t fade even after falling into deep sleep.

✩ SOOBIN

soobin promised you that the two of you would head back home before your heels would cause you pain.

the party and you and soobin went to was amazing and lively but at what cost when you could feel the blisters developing on the back of ankle

soobin found himself deep in a conversation with a friend of his and you found a soft couch to land on and take off your heels.

the couch felt like heaven and your feet felt way better that you drifted to sleep on the couch.

soobin ended the conversation, knowing that’s it late and he should get you home and when he finds you on the couch asleep, he doesn’t want to disturb you.

he brings a chair beside you, as you took up all of the small couch, and admired you silently. he’d ease you awake by playing with your hair.

he’d eventually get you fully awake, carry you (along with your heels) to the car, and head home to sleep properly.

✧ BEOMGYU

you and beomgyu travelled to place similar to ikea to browse furniture and also to mess around

you and beomgyu faking a dinner in a simulation kitchen and laughing when he hit his head with a cabinet (you felt bad but couldn’t stop laughing)

it baffles you how fast you got exhausted with him, and it didn’t help when beomgyu invited you to test out some couches

he’d stretch his arms out to you, whining“lay with me”, and you’d roll your eyes and join him.

he made them really comfortable and the third one, beomgyu joked if you both could lay here for a minute or so.

so he did and it didn’t help you at all, your blinks got heavy and you didn’t want to fall asleep in a store but you did

beomgyu could tell you feel asleep when he moved his head and you held him tighter.

he thought you were absolutely adorable, and totally would buy the couch now so he wouldn’t have to move you or disturb your nap.

he said to you he’d love to snuggle at home as he woke you back up.

✩ TAEHYUN

taehyun had an opportunity to take you along with him to a friend meet up dinner.

the place you ate at was really elegant and the food was really delicious.

a bit too delicious that you ate more than you normally would.

food coma hit you as soon as taehyun and his friends excused themselves from the table to go to the bathroom. you were left in the booth alone where you all sat - absolutely full.

you only rested your head down on the seat to rest but you ended up falling asleep.

and it seemed like you were drunk because you were out cold and one of taehyun’s friends asked if he had let you drink.

which he laughed at, and gave you a bit more time to sleep. you can’t sleep there forever and taehyun knew there was a way more comfortable bed waiting for you at home.

taehyun woke you up and adorned a smile, softly speaking to you. “let’s get you home cutie.”

✧ KAI

you and kai had spent a good chunk of the afternoon building a couch you got from ikea

many troubles of finding pieces and having to double check lead to being very tired.

you built it and enjoyed the couch in its glory, sitting and then stretching along the cushions

kai thought drinks would be refreshing after this hard work so he excused himself to go get some from the kitchen.

he spent a bit deciding whether water or lemonade would be more refreshing and ultimately picked water.

he came back and saw that you fell asleep and he found it endearing. he understood and was curious for himself of how comfortable this couch was.

without hesitation, and with the same fatigue, kai joined you on the couch and fell asleep beside you.

opening his eyes later to bring you into his chest so you could snuggle better.

[4linos]

twice the love

lee minho x fem!reader

synopsis/request: when you receive unexpected news, minho’s unwavering support becomes your anchor.

wc: 1237

You'd been feeling sick for weeks, nothing too serious, but enough to cause concern. It began with slight nausea in the mornings, which you downplayed as a stomach bug that will pass. But the exhaustion did not go away. You felt weak all the time, unable to finish a full day of work without wanting to nap or take a break. Some days, you couldn't force yourself to get out of bed, and Minho noticed, no matter how hard you tried. He has always done this. Minho had always been the more observant person in your relationship, noticing even the smallest changes in your attitude or behavior. And when it came to your health, he was unrelenting in his concern.

"Y/N, I don't like this," he murmured one morning, putting his fingers on your forehead to check for fever. "You have been like this for too long. You aren't just tired. Maybe it's time to go see a doctor." You quickly dismissed his worry. "It's fine, Minho. Really. It's probably a stomach bug. You know how it is." You tried to smile, but inside you were already terrified. You were afraid of going to the doctor, especially because you had no idea what was wrong. You hadn't really understood what was going on with your health, and you didn't want to hear any bad news.

Minho narrowed his eyes at you, but he knew not to push too hard. Instead, he replied softly, "Please. I hate seeing you like this. Just a checkup, okay? I just want to know that you're okay." You nodded, making a half-hearted promise, but deep down, you told yourself it wasn't necessary. You would be alright. Eventually.

It wasn't until a few days later that the discomfort became too severe to ignore. Your nausea had worsened, and you could no longer ignore the constant dizziness or strange aching in your lower belly. Something was clearly wrong, but you couldn't bring yourself to confront the thought of what it might be. Finally, after much internal struggle, you reluctantly scheduled an appointment. You could scarcely muster the bravery to enter into the antiseptic office, the frigid air within making you feel even more alone. The doctor took some blood tests and an ultrasound, and while you sat there waiting for the results, you could barely breathe. You tried to divert yourself by going through your phone, but your mind kept spiraling, imagining worst-case scenarios.

When the doctor walked in, he seemed calm, maybe too calm. He greeted you with a professional smile, which played a part in your anxiety. "Well, Y/N, I have the results," he said, and turned to the ultrasound screen. "You're pregnant." You froze. Pregnant? It did not even register at first. You stared at him blankly, your thoughts racing. "Pregnant?" you repeated, hoping that hearing the word again would help you understand it. "Are you sure?" The doctor nodded and motioned to the screen. "Yes. You're about a month along, and the ultrasound shows you're carrying twins."

It felt as if the world around you had stopped moving. You couldn't even digest the words completely. Twins? Pregnant? You were overwhelmed, surprised and part of you wanted to cry, but you weren't sure if it was out of fear or happiness. You never expected this. And certainly not under these conditions. It wasn't like you or Minho had planned for this. It had been so unexpected and quick that you felt a flood of panic wash over your body. The doctor offered you more information and scheduled another appointment to ensure everything was okay, but you couldn't hear him.

All you could think about was how to tell Minho.

You were mentally exhausted when you got home. Your body felt heavy, and the thoughts racing through your thoughts were too messy to process. You had assured Minho that you would be alright, and you did not want to break that promise. You didn't know how to tell him you were pregnant, much less that you were having twins. You had texted him earlier in the day to reassure him that everything was okay but you knew deep inside it wasn't true. You'd kept the news to yourself, reluctant to blurt it out. You assured yourself that it was for the best. He had a big day ahead of him, and you didn't want to overwhelm him with something that was so big. You needed to get your head around it first.

But now Minho was home. He walked in the door, his normal comfortable smile fading when he noticed your expression. He knew something wasn't right. He could know when anything was wrong without you saying anything. "How did it go?" he questioned softly, his eyes scanning your face for any sign of a response. You tried smiling, but it came out strained. You dug inside your purse and handed him the ultrasound image. You stayed silent, thinking he would understand.

He took it from you, and for a few while, neither of you spoke. His gaze shifted from the image to your face and back again. His expression shifted from confusion to disbelief. Then his gaze softened, and his fingers trembled as he examined the ultrasound. "Twins?" he asked quietly, his voice barely audible. You nodded, your heart racing in your chest. "I—I didn't know how to tell you," you stumbled. "I was really nervous, Minho. I wasn't sure how you'd react. Minho was silent for a long time, his attention fixed on the ultrasound. And then, just when you thought silence would take you whole, a tear rolled down his cheek.

Without saying anything, he reached for your waist and pulled you into his arms, as if he needed to hug you to make sense of his emotions. He buried his face against your neck, and his voice cracked as he said. "I can't believe this. Twins. "You're pregnant with our babies.”You felt a warmth spread through you that you had not anticipated. He wasn't upset. He was not angry. He was happy. The strain in your chest began to dissipate, replaced by a sense of release and awe. "I'm scared," you said softly, your voice quivering. "What if I'm not ready?"

Minho drew back slightly, holding your face in his hands, his thumbs softly brushing away the tears you hadn't realized had dropped. "You don't have to be ready right now," he said softly. "I will be here. We will be here together. We will sort it out, okay? I am so happy, Y/N. I—"I can't believe this is happening." He kissed you lightly at first, pressing his lips against yours as if to persuade you both that everything was well. However, it did not stay soft for long. The kiss intensified, and you felt all of your fear, worry, and joy flood through you in that one moment. When he finally pulled away, his face was flushed and his eyes were wide with amazement. "We're going to be parents, Y/N. And I’m going to be the best dad to our twins. I promise."

You smiled through your tears as your hands rested on his chest. "I know you will," you said quietly, the warmth of his hug erasing all your doubts.

The world outside was unknown, but when Minho wrapped his arms around you, you knew you weren't alone. You had each other. And that was enough.

//

masterlist, request list

[aayakashii]

(maybe) distance makes the heart grow fonder

Warning: mostly angst, depictions of anxiety and a panic attack.

Part 1

You didn’t notice how far you actually had wandered after Towa had decided to take you back to Jabberwock’s dorm. He held your hand tightly, forcing you to keep up with his awfully fast pace.

You stumbled, trying not to fall down whenever you had to jump over a loose stone or some exposed root, but you were surprised with yourself – after pouring your heart out, you thought you'd have little energy to do anything besides breathe; yet there you were, power walking behind Towa as you two made your way back to the dorm.

The sight of the quaint cottage that was Jabberwock’s dorm filled you with relief. Even though you still managed to follow Towa, you were still exhausted. Your throat burned like lava whenever you swallowed and you could feel your face was terribly puffy. Your eyes were heavy and your nose was stuffy. Crying always took way too much energy out of your body and you were sure you could just curl up on the living room’s sofa and nap before forcing yourself to go on with your life.

Towa slammed the door open, still tightly holding your hand, and you watched as Haru jumped at the sudden sound, almost dropping Peekaboo’s feeding bottle.

“Geez, Towa! I told you not to slam the door open like that! What if Peekaboo was sleeping?!” Haru grumbled, scrunching his eyebrows as he gave a good shake on the bottle again, before turning around to face Towa. You were sure he was going to keep scolding Towa, if it wasn’t for the fact that the white-haired boy was smiling and humming happily while pointing at you.

“Oh! If it isn’t the Honor Student!” Haru quickly went back to his sunny mood and walked towards you, expertly feeding Peekaboo while doing so “I didn’t expect your visit! How are you… oh. What happened?”

You frowned and rubbed your face in your hands. You didn’t want to make your mental breakdown everyone’s business all of a sudden. That was the exact reason why you went to hide in Jabberwock - so you’d avoid being seen. Despite that, you could probably say you trusted Haru enough to talk about your problems without feeling judged. What you’d definitely feel, however, was guilty - Haru was probably the busiest man in Darkwick. Did you really need to give him more burdens to hold?

“I’m… okay.” you said, barely able to say the words as your voice was terribly hoarse. Beside you, Towa pouted and let out a sound of discontent. He was back at being silent, apparently.

Haru gasped, clutching his chest and you couldn’t help but smile a little bit. He always seemed a bit too dramatic, although that was truly just how he acted normally. He’d probably be good friends with Zenji, you thought for a moment.

“What happened to your voice?!” he asked, placing Peekaboo’s bottle on a nearby table. He quickly walked towards you and grabbed your arm and your chin, turning you this and that way under the natural light of his dorm, searching for other possible injuries. “Wait, don’t answer. It might be worse for your throat! Let’s take you to Mortkranken, okay? They’ll help and-”

“No.” you croaked out, grabbing his arm as tightly as you could. “Please don’t take me to Mortkranken.”

Nothing reminded you more of your impending doom than spending even a fraction of a second around Yuri. While some of the ghosts treated you like lesser than human, Yuri straight up treated you like an object. Something he had to analyze under a microscope; something convenient to him, since you could be the key for his glory. However, you’re pretty sure he would like you better if you didn’t talk.

A not-insignificant part of you could empathize with him. He just did it all for recognition. He wanted to be seen and admired and you could understand that. Always having to keep a mask of arrogance just to reassure himself that he wasn’t worthless must be tiring. You’d know that. You had to keep a mask of your own for way too long as well.

But then he would call you a worm and belittle you every chance he got so, after a while, all the empathy and patience you had in you faded away.

Haru quietly observed how your hand trembled as you held his arm and how your bottom lip quivered. He nodded, gently prying your hand away so he could guide you to a table.

”Okay. No Mortkranken then.” he said, motioning for you to sit at the table. As soon as you did, Towa dragged a chair to sit as close as possible to you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. You welcomed his touch.

“No Mortkranken” Haru repeated and raised his index finger “But you can’t just leave your throat like that!. I’m gonna make something for you real quick, okay? Wait a second! Watch Peekaboo for me.” you nodded as he placed the round ball of fur on your lap. Peekaboo greeted you happily and snuggled against your chest while you pet his head.

A few minutes later, Haru sauntered back to the living room with a huge steaming mug. He carefully placed it in front of you and picked up Peekaboo from your arms, not without some sounds of protest coming from the little anomaly.

You sniffed the golden drink in front of you, the sweet scent bringing a warmth to your face that you very much needed, as you felt your nose less congested. You looked at Haru, inquisitively, hoping he would understand your unspoken question.

“It’s ginger, honey and lemon tea! Well, uh, I put some anomalous medicine for colds in it too but…” he scratched his cheek, his smile a bit embarrassed “But! It’s what my mama would make for me whenever I got sick! It's fail-proof. Go on, drink it.” he motioned for you to drink it and gave you a thumbs up. Beside you, Towa nodded and let out a sound of approval, as if he was attesting to the tea’s efficacy.

You cracked a small smile while you held the enormous mug with both of your hands and thought about Haru's family for a second. You wondered if they were all nice and nurturing like him or if he was just a very good egg. You could imagine him having a very sweet and caring mom, and, in your mind, he’d be her spitting image. Both with fiery red hair and a smile that could convince you of anything. But more than anything, you could imagine him being the eldest child of a big family, full of little siblings that clung to him no matter where he went, begging their big brother Haru to go play with them. And he would. Of course he would.

You began to feel weirdly melancholic as you wondered why someone like him ever needed to make a pact. Was it for his family? And if it was, does he still keep in contact with them? Or was he ripped out of his own old life just like you were?

You drank the tea, feeling the sweet taste of honey mixed with the bitterness of ginger and lemon send a jolt of energy to your nerves. There was a third, unknown taste in it, which you assumed was the anomalous medicine, but you chose to ignore it. Right then and there, what was healing you wasn’t that - it was Haru’s and Towa’s kindness towards you.

The warmth of the drink spread from your chest to your fingertips and you felt tears pool in your eyes again. Apparently, the dam was broken and literally anything would make you cry - even your own fertile imagination and the abandoned Sagara family you had pictured in your mind.

You placed the mug on the table, taking a deep breath through your now decongested nose.

“How are you feeling?” Haru asked while finally feeding Peekaboo his bottle.

You nodded.

“Better. You’re a miracle worker.” you replied, surprised at how your voice already seemed to be less raspy than before. Towa hummed happily with a sing-songy voice, squeezing you a bit tighter.

“Haha! That’s probably the medicine working though!” he laughed, modest as always.

You shook your head, about to protest, when a loud stomp was heard from the top of the stairway that led to the bedrooms. Ren peeked his head down, clearly checking whether or not Haru was around to bother him. It was when he met your gaze, however, that his eyes widened in shock. At the sight of your puffy eyes and red nose, Ren mouthed an “o” and slowly backed away from the stairs, locking himself into his room once again. Beside you, Haru sighed loudly and scratched his head.

“I’m sorry about Ren. He still needs to practice how to be a good friend.”

You waved your hand dismissively.

“It’s okay, I don’t blame him. I would feel awkward if I saw someone crying in my living room too.” you let out a tired, breathy laugh and Haru grimaced.

“Do you feel like telling me what happened now?” he asked, after a few moments of silence.

You stared at the now empty mug. Cozy warmth spread in your stomach and your limbs, but you were still very much aware of the sinking dread that had hosted itself inside your heart. You knew that whatever comfort Haru and Towa were giving you was temporary, while your anxiety was way more resilient. Would Haru know what to do? Would he be able to offer a little bit of respite from your spiraling thoughts or would you just make things awkward?

As you opened your mouth to give him some sort of answer, you heard it.

Inside your pocket, your phone was pinging.

You felt your heart drop. With trembling fingers, you fished your phone out of your pocket and placed it on the table. There, flashing incessantly like a persistent and spoiled child, you were able to read the notifications that had been flooding in, unbeknownst to you.

Jin, Tohma, Leo, Romeo, Ritsu, Yuri.

Your breathing became labored once again. For a split second you wondered why these men wanted you around so bad when it was so clear that they hated you. Was the power trip that addictive? You wouldn’t know. You had too much of a conscience and that wouldn’t allow you to treat others like they treated you.

You tried focusing on your breathing as the familiar pressure behind your eyes began to build up. You were already so tired of crying and all the effort Haru had put into making that tea would go to waste if you began bawling your eyes out once again.

Where was all that courage you seemed to have during missions and why couldn’t you summon it right then and there, when all that terrified you were the men that dangled your life as a bargain chip in front of your eyes? They were just as dangerous, if you thought about it.

“Hey, hey. Let’s turn this off, ‘kay? You really need a break.” Haru’s gloved hand suddenly appeared before your eyes as he grabbed your phone and forcefully turned it off. Towa rubbed your back again, eyes glinting with concern, and you realized you were already making a fool of yourself, once again. You felt traitorous tears dampen your cheeks despite trying so hard not to cry.

“I’m sorry.” you mumbled, hastily drying your eyes with your hands.

“Don’t apologize for that! They’ve been giving you a hard time, right? Dealing with all the ghouls in here is a handful, you’re already doing so much more than I would be able to do!” Haru chirped, trying his best to cheer you up. You cracked a small smile at the fiery way he delivered those words.

“Yeah… It’s been… a lot. And I miss my home.”

At that, you noticed how Haru visibly flinched. Like the topic was a tender and open wound for him as well. Made-up images of his mother came back to your mind and you wondered if your guess about his family was right.

He then sucked his teeth, looking apologetic.

“I wish I could help you somehow…” he muttered, visibly upset at his inability to solve this specific problem as easily as he did his duties. You just shook your head.

“You already helped me so much. You and Towa. Thanks for being so understanding and making me that tea.”

Towa rubbed his cheek against yours, humming happily, and Haru barked out a laugh.

“We all need to be supporting each other a lot more, dontcha think?”

You nodded. You were pretty sure he was the only one who thought that in that entire place. The others would probably be happier if everyone disappeared.

And as you thought that, that word lingered in your mind.

'Disappear'.

It teased you, much like a mirage could fool a parched man, lost in a desert.

It was something you've thought of before, but it just never seemed possible. It was a common thought you had when you arrived at your dorm after a really long day of yells, insults and orders being barked left and right.

After your nervous breakdown, however, you felt like you needed to make it possible – it was a matter of life or death. You didn't know how you could go on while you felt like you were on the verge of being eaten alive by your grief, your anxiety and your fears.

You needed rest. Peace. Quiet. If only for a little bit.

There was no harm in trying. At least no harm bigger than the ones you already faced.

“Can I ask your opinion on something?” you spoke, after a few moments of silence.

“Oh? What is it?” Haru's back straightened and his eyebrows shot up, his attention fully back at you while he nursed Peekaboo.

You fidgeted with the hem of your shirt.

“How screwed do you think I’d be if I disappeared for like. One or two weeks?”

His smile slowly melted away from his face and turned into a frown. It would be funny if your hands weren't clammy with sweat as you asked. You were pretty sure Towa could feel the spike of your heartbeat in your neck, since he rested his chin on your shoulder.

“Disappeared? As in leaving Darkwick? I don’t think that’s a good idea…”

“No, no.” You shook your head “I wouldn’t leave. I just want some time away from them. The ghouls. Spend a few days in a place where they won’t search for me. Or somewhere I can stay hidden.”

Haru tilted his head to the side, thinking.

��I don't know how you'd pull it off. The academy would probably search for you too."

You suppressed the urge to scoff. The Academy knew your whereabouts at all times. As long as you stayed inside Darkwick, you figured they probably wouldn't care where you were. They just couldn't know you were planning on not doing your job as an inspector, but… what the eyes don't see, the heart doesn't feel, right?

“You think? I don't think they care that much. As long as I stay inside the Academy, it'll probably be okay.”

“Well… But what if they summon you to a mission?”

You waved your hand dismissively.

“I'll cross that bridge when I get there. But I think I made up my mind. I want to do this. I need to. All I want you to be my accomplice and say you don't know where I am if someone searches for me.”

Haru opened his mouth, and then closed it, changing his mind on whatever he would say. He sighed, defeated.

“Okay…”

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding.

“Thank you, Haru! Towa?”

The boy, that was still hugging you tight, nodded happily.

“But where would you stay?”

At that, Towa pouted at Haru and stomped his foot on the ground.

“But Towa–” he began.

“No, it’s okay, Towa.” You ran your fingers through his hair. “I know I can't stay here. The vacant rooms are being used as storage for the animals right? I can't crash here without forcing you guys to go through a very tiring cleaning process.”

You had helped Jabberwock far too many times to know that a lot of the supplies Haru used were being piled up inside the dorm rooms. If a new student joined them, it would probably take some precious time to make room for them – time that Haru and you didn't have.

“I mean, we could try to empty a room and clean it up–”

“No, it’s okay. That'd be a hassle. I’ll go to Obscuary.” you announced, final.

Towa immediately let go of you and grunted, stomping his foot again. You knew how much he hated Ed, but there wasn't any other option for you to choose. Hotarubi was Darkwick's little lapdog, and you don't think the students would help you stay hidden. You trusted Subaru, Zenji, and Haku with your life, but you couldn't say the same for all the others.

No, you needed complete isolation. Nothing better than the place that mostly everyone avoided after all. Towa would have to forgive you.

“There are some free rooms in Obscuary right now and I don't think Rui would mind. I've stayed there before.” you explained.

“Right! I've slept there before as well, after being a tad too tipsy, haha!” Haru added, trying to quell Towa's jealousy otherwise it'd probably bring forth a storm he definitely did not need.

The lavender haired boy pouted, looking to his feet. You grabbed one of his hands and held it tightly.

“I know you don't like that place, so I'll try to come here to visit you while I'm there, Towa. You won't have to go to that creepy forest, promise.”

He looked at you with glistening eyes and nodded timidly. You sighed, relieved. You didn't want to upset one of your closest friends just because of a selfish decision you were making.

“Thank you, Towa. You're amazing.” You kissed the back of his hand and he quickly smiled at your gesture.

Haru got up right as things were settled, and placed a happy and well-fed Peekaboo inside its crib.

“It's time to feed the rest of the animals. Give me a hand, Towa. We got a lot of field to cover.” he said as he stretched, his words sounding more like a groan than anything. Beside you, Towa nodded happily and dashed out of the door without hesitation.

“Wait! I didn't even tell you which animals you can feed! Gaaahhh, he's gone…” Haru yelled, pulling his hair.

You chuckled at his cartoonish behavior while he quickly prepared himself to go out after Towa.

“Do you mind if I stay here a little longer, Haru? I'm still very tired.”

“Of course! Our house is your house! Take your time. See ya!”

You watched as he activated his stigma and ran as fast as a lightning bolt to catch up with Towa, leaving the door to the dorm's entrance open.

You made your way to the door, pulling it closed, and sighed deeply, sitting on the couch.

Well, you had done it. You had given in to your selfish thoughts and hastily planned your temporary escape. Would it work? You had no idea. But if you got even one day of peace, you'd consider it a win.

You resisted the urge of grabbing your phone and scrolling mindlessly. You needed to be offline as much as possible in order to avoid everyone. You'd feel bad for some of them, like Kaito, Luca and the Hotarubi ghouls. But a secret held by too many people rarely stayed a secret.

"Senpai?" a monotone voice resounded behind you after a few minutes of silence and you jumped.

"Ren! Sorry, you spooked me." you gasped, placing a hand over your heart.

"Ugh, sorry..." he mumbled awkwardly, looking to the side. You stared at him, waiting for him to continue whatever it was that he wanted to say. You knew it was best not to hurry him up when he took the initiative to start a conversation, after all. "Er... you are feeling bad."

It was more of a statement than a question. Regardless, you nodded.

"So..." he mumbled a few more things you didn't quite make out "do you... like... do you wanna watch a movie or something? To distract yourself, I don't know..." he finished, rubbing the back of his head, clearly embarrassed by his own behavior.

In that moment, you couldn't help but feel your chest swell with affection for the boy in front of you. You knew how hard it was for Ren to open himself to others, much less allow them to participate in the things that mattered the most to him. To invite you to watch a movie was more than enough proof that Haru was wrong – Ren knew how to be a good friend, in his own way.

"I'd love that. Thank you so much, Ren." You smiled and he rolled his eyes, the pink on his ears betraying how he actually felt.

"Well then, let's go. I don't wanna wait too long to watch this movie. Also, it's going to be a trash horror, so if you don't like this type of thing, tough luck."

As he babbled, trying to hide his own nerves, you entered his room. Ren grabbed a chair and plopped himself on it, pointing towards the bed so you could lay down. You chose not to argue. He was already doing a lot more than you'd expect him to.

You snuggled against his pillows, trying to find a good position to rest and watch his notebook's screen. And to the sounds of high-pitched screams and gurgling monsters, you ended up falling asleep.

[thriftedtchotchkes]

come clean

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

summary: joel comes home after a messy day on patrol, but you're already in the shower

warnings: 18+ MDNI, fluff, language, getting together, slow buildup, jackson era, smut, handjob, f!masturbation, fingering, unprotected piv, rough sex, shower sex, size kink

word count: 4.7k

a/n: this one goes out to emotional support daydreams! as always, thoughts and feedback are always appreciated. hope y'all enjoy 💕

Joel’s having a rough day. It’s late, and he’s bone-tired and covered in…well, he’s not really sure what he’s covered in. Mud and bits of dead grass, definitely, but there's splotches of red on his jeans, too. He couldn’t tell you whether it’s his blood or something else’s—the adrenaline still hasn’t completely worn off, so it’s entirely possible he’s not feeling the full extent of his injuries yet.

His day hadn’t started that badly, but it wasn’t a typical morning, either. Maria had stopped him and Tommy at the gate to ask if they'd mind checking out a situation at the dam instead of patrolling their usual route.

Apparently, some of the machinery was acting up and the only person she trusted to oversee the repairs was Tommy. She honestly hadn't given much thought to Joel's part in all of it—their relationship is still pretty tense, even after his return to Jackson, so he was just along for the ride.

Things went downhill fast after they arrived at their destination. No one's really sure how the infected got into the facility, but it was a lucky thing Joel was there after all. With the help of a few guards, they were able to dispatch everything in and around the building without any bites or serious injuries but, boy, did they make a serious mess. Of the facility and the machinery they were supposed to help fix, and of Joel.

So now here he is, exhausted and dirty, getting shit from his kid when all he wants to do is get clean and take a fucking nap.

“Ew, gross,” Ellie groans, clearly not giving two shits about how badly Joel’s day is going or how little she’s helping right now. She had the day off and is somehow still watching movies in the same spot he left her in this morning. “Stop touching things! You’re getting shit everywhere.”

He ignores her and shrugs off his coat, walking into the living room to toss it over the back of his recliner, but she throws him a dirty look that stops him in his tracks.

"Whatever, m'gettin’ in the shower," he grunts, dropping it on the doormat instead. He'll probably have to burn that coat anyway if the stains and…odor are anything to go by.

"Uhhhh, no, actually you're not," she says matter-of-factly, and he raises his eyebrows, eyeing her expectantly when she doesn't elaborate.

"Why the fuck not?"

"Did your hearing get worse or something? Shower's already on,” she nods toward the stairs. He’s not sure how he didn’t notice the sound of running water filtering down from the second floor earlier, but now he’s annoyed that he can’t shower and that she might actually be right about his hearing.

"Well then, I'm waitin' here," he sasses back, taking a seat on the recliner with zero regard to the upholstery.

"Dude!" She’s starting to look as exasperated as he feels. And her reaction isn’t unwarranted. If he touches literally anything in this living room, they’ll probably have to burn it, too.

"Fine, fine, m'not touchin' anythin'," he stands back up, holding his hands up in surrender. "How long's she been in there?"

"Like, five minutes. Probably gonna be a while, knowing her,” she replies with an amused grin. Oh, so she thinks this is funny.

"The fuck do ya expect me to do then, stand here ‘til she's out?" He asks as if it’s not exactly what he’s been doing the entire time they’ve been having this conversation.

"As long as you don't sit on any of the furniture, I don't really give a shit what you do," she shrugs.

He rolls his eyes at her, running a hand down his face in frustration. He’s just about to give up and hose himself down in the yard when she finally offers a solution.

"You could just knock and see if she'll swap out with you. She basically just got in, anyway."

“Y’know what, I think I will,” he grumbles, heading upstairs to the bathroom and leaving Ellie to her shitty 90s sci-fi thriller. She shakes her head, laughing as she slips on her headphones.

“Don’t be too loud up there!”

But with his bad ears, he doesn’t hear her.

God, you needed this shower so badly. It's been a rough day, to say the least, and it’s finally time to get the relaxation you deserve. You got saddled with an extra patrol shift because two of the usual guys had a last-minute change of assignment, and it turned a typical day into an unbelievably exhausting one.

But tonight you got lucky. There was no one around to use up all of the hot water besides Ellie, who’s been glued to the TV all day, and you miraculously got home before Joel. So tonight, you get to enjoy the expensive bottle of shampoo you found at some fancy store in some fancy mall last month, and let yourself forget for a while that there’s fucking fungus monsters out there eating people.

That is—until someone knocks on the door and ends your perfect evening before it begins. Now you’ve got soap in your eyes, and you’re slightly worried because Ellie either needs something from the bathroom or the house is on fire. There’s never an in-between with her.

“Ellie? Everything okay?” you call out, really hoping it’s not the latter.

The voice that responds is muffled and decidedly much deeper than Ellie’s, and you’re momentarily taken off guard before you realize it’s not a burglar. It’s Joel—of course, it’s Joel. He probably got off his shift late and wants to clean up, and now you feel bad for making him wait and using up all the hot water.

You can’t really hear what he’s saying over the shower, so you slide the curtain open to poke your head out. “What? Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

He tries to answer you again, or at least you think he does, but you still can’t make him out, so you tell him to come inside. The door only opens a crack, but it's so quick that there's no time to duck behind the curtain before Joel's face appears and you're both staring at each other blankly.

“…Hi,” you breathe out, praying it’s just your head and not the rest of your body peeking out. “So, um, what were you saying?”

He looks a little embarrassed and it’s adorable, but the thought only crosses your mind for a split second before you notice the rest of him. He’s—there’s really no nice way to say this, but he looks revolting.

There’s dirt everywhere. Matted in his hair, under his fingernails, all over his clothes. It looks like he’s been rolling around on the ground all day, and honestly, maybe he has. He’s also got…gross, is that a chunk of…? Nope. It looks like someone exploded in his face, and he needs a shower. Badly.

The only problem is you’re covered head-to-toe in soap, and you’re pretty sure you’ve only got about 15 minutes of hot water left.

He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. “Sorry to barge in on ya,” he mumbles, looking pointedly away from you. “I came up here to see if you wouldn’t mind pausin’ your shower for a bit, but I, uh…can see that’s gonna be a little difficult.”

You look down at yourself and, yeah, he’s right. You’re dripping water and soap all over the floor. Getting out now would be a pain in the ass, but he also really needs to get in.

“No, no. It’s totally fine! It makes way more sense for me to sit around soapy than for you to, um, stand around like that,” you reason. It’s his turn to look down at himself, and he grimaces. “Just turn around for a sec and we can swap.”

He nods, still looking sheepish, but grateful.

You duck back into the shower to shut the water off and gather up your toiletries to make room for his. You’ve already shoved half of your stuff to one side before you realize it was probably just a waste of time because there was already plenty of space—and that's when it dawns on you.

This stall is pretty big—as far as showers go, anyway. There's no reason you can't both fit in here at the same time. It's also not like he's never seen you naked before. You joined up with Joel and Ellie long before running water was in the picture, so you've had your fair share of awkward bathing encounters. Really, it's just a matter of whether or not he'll go for it.

You pop your head back out, taking a second to admire those strong, broad shoulders of his before getting his attention. Damn, he's a real catch. Hot and respectful. But seriously, he's so disgusting right now and it would be a shame to allow that to continue.

"Hey, Joel," you start, and he glances back carefully over his shoulder. You hesitate for a beat before continuing, “So, hear me out—what if we just…if we both showered…at the same time…”

He looks confused, and you realize how badly you botched that entire sentence. Okay, so talking around it didn't work. You take a deep breath to steady yourself before trying again.

"Just—just get in with me," you say softly. "We can shower together."

His brow furrows, eyes unreadable. He looks like he might be thinking it over, but his silence isn't exactly the most encouraging reaction in the world. Subconsciously, you hold your breath while you wait for an answer.

There’s no way he’s going to go for this, is there? It’s Joel. He can barely look at you in a tank top without blushing, let alone wet and naked. You’re not even sure why you bothered asking. It was clearly a dumb—

“Yeah, guess that makes sense,” he nods, turning back to you fully, and you swear he’s looking at you differently. That's…not what you were expecting. Not that you're complaining in the slightest. He's not even trying to hide his eagerness, and you're starting to think maybe he was waiting for you to ask all along.

"Well, come on in, cowboy."

Joel undresses slowly, eyeing what little of you he can see greedily, and it makes your cheeks burn. It’s like he can’t look away—from your eyes and lips, your collarbone. Even the tiny droplets of water that fall from your hair. It feels more intimate than any moment you’ve ever shared with Joel, and he hasn’t even touched you. Yet, hopefully.

You’re getting impatient. He's making a show of stripping down and it's taking everything you have not to get out of the shower and rip all of his clothes off yourself. His fingers are so thick, and more and more of his tanned, weather-worn skin is exposed to you as they work to unbutton his shirt.

You’re pretty sure you’re drooling at this point, imagining those fingers sinking deep inside you before you can stop yourself. Fuck, you're pent up. And should probably have a lot more shame, but now he's unzipping his jeans, and you feel like you're about to combust.

You let out a pained noise without meaning to and he chuckles, shaking his head as he picks up the pace. "I'm comin', I'm comin'," he teases, dropping his pants to the floor. "Why don't you get the water goin' for me?"

Now you're the one having trouble looking away. Damn, who even is this guy? He’s nothing like the Joel you’ve known for years, and definitely not the Joel who stepped into this bathroom ten minutes ago. If you'd known it would go like this, you would’ve invited him to shower with you a long time ago.

He’s down to just his boxers now, and maybe it's wishful thinking, but he looks like he’s already hard. Swallowing is suddenly extremely difficult, so you shoot him one last appreciative look before doing what he asked.

You turn the water back on and it’s still pleasurably warm as it rains down onto your tense shoulders. The steady pressure soothes some of the nerves while you wait for him to join you, but you’re so caught up in the moment that you don't notice the curtain opening.

"Scoot over," he murmurs behind you, his breath fanning out over the back of your neck. He’s close, so much closer than you expected him to be. You assumed you’d be dancing around each other for at least a little while longer, but it seems like Joel knows exactly what he wants, and it’s not just the shower.

He reaches around you to grab that expensive bottle of shampoo you’ve been looking forward to, his fingers grazing your bare skin, and you shiver despite the heat of the water.

“Or you could stay right here,” he says, even closer now, lips brushing the shell of your ear. “We could help each other out—with washin’ up, I mean.”

You inhale shakily, your reply getting caught in your throat. “Y-yes—yeah, yes…we should definitely do that,” you breathe out.

He chuckles and the sound is surprisingly affectionate. It gives you hope that this won’t just be a one-time thing. That after all this time, he wants you as much as you want him.

You’re the first to initiate physical contact, reaching back to bury your fingers in his hair which, in retrospect, turns out to be a terrible idea. He’s still filthy, and your fingers get caught in tangles and dirt and…probably a lot of other nasty shit you don’t want to think about.

You snort out a laugh, turning around to face him. “I think you’re up first, handsome.”

The corners of his mouth tip up as he nods, and you can’t resist the urge to reach up and trace his bottom lip with your thumb. He kisses the pad of your finger, and you wish so badly that it was your lips.

For the second time tonight, you’re feeling incredibly impatient. You want to feel more of him, let him press you up against the wall and kiss you, touch you the way you both want him to, but it’ll have to wait.

You pluck the bottle from his hands and squeeze a huge dollop into your palm, telling him to turn around with a small smile. His eyes drop to the quirk of your lips for a moment too long before he obliges, and you’re starting to realize he’s getting impatient, too.

You reach up to thread your fingers into his graying hair and, somehow, the strands still feel soft despite everything tangled up in them. It’s going to take a decent amount of scrubbing before it’s back to its normal, fluffy state of disarray, but you’ll make it feel good for him. A little taste of what's to come.

He tips his head back as you massage in the shampoo, letting out the softest groan when your fingernails scratch along his scalp, and you have to press your thighs together to relieve the growing ache in your core. You’re not going to make it through this shower if he keeps making noises like that. But, of course, he does, and they're getting louder.

You can feel his body starting to respond to yours, too. It’s a little cruel how you’re purposely working him up, sliding a washcloth over his shoulders and across his back, letting your fingers skim teasingly over his skin as you stretch your arms around him to reach his front.

His stomach flexes under your palm, and he inhales sharply as your hardened nipples graze across his back. You continue your path down, running your fingers through the coarse hair at the base of his cock, and his hips jerk forward, seeking the friction you so desperately want to provide. He's panting, and you're both having a difficult time holding yourselves back.

Brown and red swirl in the water around your feet and down the drain, and it's enough to tell you that he's finally clean. And that you can finally touch him the way you want to.

Pressing yourself firmly against his back, you reach down to wrap your fingers around his cock and he feels huge in your hand, rock hard and pulsing with his racing heartbeat. You pump him a few times, giving him a firm squeeze at the base, and he keens, already leaking all over himself.

He braces a hand on your hip to steady himself as you trail open-mouthed kisses down his spine, digging his fingers in roughly when you slowly start to jerk him off in earnest.

"T-that's it, pretty girl—,” he pants heavily, eyes dropping down to watch you work him, and you twist your wrist up on the next stroke, thumbing over his head. "Keep goin', just like that."

You whimper damply against his skin at the pet name, feeling a pleasurable whoosh in your belly as your cunt drips pathetically down your thighs. The throbbing between your legs is almost unbearable, but you don't want to let him go, not when his hips are meeting your fist so fucking desperately. You wedge a hand between your bodies, slipping it lower and lower until your fingers rub against your slick folds, gathering some of the wetness to rub soothing circles into your clit.

“I got you, I got you,” you moan at the sudden relief. Your caresses start to match his thrusts, and soon he's trembling in your arms, whimpering like he'll cum any second if you let him. You rub your cheek tenderly against his back, murmuring soft, encouraging words into his heated skin.

"You're doing so, so well," you tell him, and he seizes up at the praise, chest heaving as you focus your attention closer to the tip. "You wanna cum or are you gonna wait for me? Want you to fill me up…can you do that for me?"

For a second, you think your words might've thrown him over the edge, his hips stuttering against your palm even as you slow your movements. But he's still clearly fighting the urge to cum, and that has to mean he wants to fuck you badly.

His hand shakes as it lifts to wrap around yours, guiding you down to squeeze the base of his cock to stave off his orgasm, but you're not making it easy for him. You barely notice your other hand still working your pussy, too turned on to realize you've started pumping two fingers in and out of yourself.

Joel notices, though. Something that sounds almost animalistic tears its way out of his chest as he turns on you, snatching your hand out of your cunt and slamming it against the shower wall. Your fingers are shiny and glistening with your wetness and he leans forward to suck each of them into his mouth, groaning at your taste on his tongue.

The look on his face makes it seem like you're the best meal he's ever had, and you feel a strong, sudden urge to have his tongue in your mouth so you can taste yourself. He pulls off your middle finger with an audible pop, and then you're crashing your lips into his, immediately licking into him.

God, why do you taste so good in his mouth? It's salty and heady, and really shouldn't be as hot as it is, but you can't bring yourself to care as his tongue tangles with yours. You feel two—shit, no, it’s three—of his fingers slip into you, and, holy fuck, they're so much bigger than yours. You're already so full and they feel even thicker at the base, nudging a spot that makes you see stars.

There's no way his cock is going to fit inside you…right? But the thought of him trying anyway almost makes you cum on the spot. Another wave of heat crashes through you and your walls convulse around him, pussy gushing down his fingers, and he abruptly breaks away from your lips, groaning lowly, desperately.

"Fuck, I-I need—shit, I need to fuck you, pretty girl," he twitches against you, leaking a glob of precum as he ruts into your belly. “M'gonna fill ya up real good, just like you wanted—," and you gasp, clamping down on his fingers one more time before he's pulling them out and hauling you into his arms, your legs quickly wrapping around his waist as he shoves you higher up the wall.

His hands roam your skin hungrily before eventually settling under the soft swell of your ass, holding you up as he slicks up his cock between your folds. Every time the tip catches your clit, your hips buck clean off the wall and he presses into you harder to keep you in place. You bury your face in his neck, thighs squeezing into his sides.

"S'not gonna fit," you slur, a little drunk off how good he feels between your legs. The next time his hips buck forward, the blunt head of his cock catches your entrance. "J-Joel—ngh…Joel, s'too big, you have to make it fit, please."

And that's when his patience runs out.

He sheathes himself to the hilt in one harsh thrust, growling roughly into your hair, and the stretch is mind-numbing. He stays deep, letting you adjust to the feeling of being split open, and his head drops to your shoulder. His eyes are locked on where you're joined, your pussy stretched around him almost obscenely.

"Would'ja look at that," he mumbles to himself, rocking in and out slowly as he turns his head to suck a bruise into your collarbone. You reach a hand down curiously, wanting to feel yourself around him, and your jaw drops when your fingers brush where his thickness is forcing your cunt to yield to him. "Knew you could take me…pussy feels s-so fuckin' good, like you were made for me."

You whine pathetically as the ache starts to subside and the need for him to fuck you becomes overwhelming. Pleasure blooms where he's already grazing that heavenly spot again, and you tug his head back by his hair, bringing his attention back up to you.

Everything pauses, just for a moment. You kiss his lips delicately, so much more delicate than he's about to be with your body but, right now, you need him to know that it's more than this for you. More than the sex and the physical intimacy. And the way he kisses you back reassures you beyond a doubt that it's more than this for him, too.

Then, your patience runs out.

"Joel, move."

And suddenly, he's spearing up into that spot deep inside you with reckless abandon, bouncing you on his cock, and you're not entirely sure, but you might actually be screaming.

Your head lolls back, thudding dully against the wall, and he ducks down to wrap his lips around your nipple, tongue circling the nub as he continues you work you up and down his shaft. The sound your pussy's making around him should be humiliating, but it only spurs him on, the wet squelching echoing loudly over the running water.

"Hear that? That's all you, baby. So fuckin' wet, look at that," and he's watching himself again in awe as he fucks in and out of you. You follow his gaze and, holy shit, he's not kidding. You're absolutely soaking him. "You look so good like this, so goddamn pretty stretched around my cock."

You still haven't completely acclimated to how thick he is, not sure you ever actually will, and the syrupy-sweet pain of him has you clawing at his back. You use the wall as leverage, arching just enough so you can actively meet his thrusts, and the new angle sends you reeling.

"Feels so…full, so full," you gasp, your back inching higher up the wall with the force of his thrusts. "K-keep going…there, Joel, there."

It's not just that one spot he's hitting anymore—fuck, it feels like he's everywhere. The ridge of his cock is rubbing your walls just right and every other thrust fucks deep enough to graze your cervix. You sob at the onslaught of overpowering pleasure, burying your hands in his hair to tether yourself as your brain begins to fizzle.

Just a little more, you only need a little bit more. You can feel the lower half of your body locking down and, as if he can sense exactly what you need, he grinds his cock in as deep as it'll go.

"That's it, baby. C'mon, give it to me," he grits against your throat. "Squeezin' me so fuckin' tight, you're almost there."

The coarse hairs at the base of his cock scrape roughly and a little painfully against your swollen clit as you rock against him, but the slide is still so slick and raw that your thighs begin to quake around his waist, and it's—fuck, it's so…so…

"M'gonna fucking cum—gonna…oh fuck, fuck, Joel," your lips part around what you pray is a silent scream and your body goes rigid, cunt spasming violently around him.

He chokes out a moan as you clamp down impossibly tighter on his cock. "Fuckin' hell, there we go," he rasps out shakily as he fucks you into the wall blindingly hard, letting you ride him through your orgasm.

"So, s-so good. Feels so fuckin' good," he's starting to mumble to himself deliriously, squeezing your ass hard enough to bruise. You whimper helplessly as his thrusts get sloppier and more desperate, "Gonna fill you up 'til it's leakin' out…c-can I, pretty girl? Please…bet you'd look so fuckin' good with my cum spillin' out of you—"

Before you can even answer, you feel him throb and then his entire body stills, his cock visibly pulsing as he empties into you. He moans his way through it, his head dropping to your shoulder again to watch himself pump you full of cum just like he said he would.

If you thought you felt full before, it's nothing compared to how you feel right now. He's still so deep, twitching pathetically inside you as he lifts his head to nose at the underside of your jaw. He presses a soft kiss there and you sigh, wrapping your arms and legs around him tighter.

"Christ, Joel, where did that come from?" you rasp out. He chuckles, and his whole body shakes with it, jostling his hips into your sensitive clit. Your pussy flutters around him and his breath hitches, fingers digging into the softness of your thighs. He still hasn't pulled out and you have a feeling he doesn't want to.

"Been waitin' a long time for that," he murmurs, meeting your eyes. You smile softly, and your lips command his attention. "Waited a long time for you."

So full of surprises tonight. You’ve traveled with him for years, settled down with your kid, but you never expected this. For him to finally feel the same way you do, to fuck you like that. You’re suddenly extremely thankful he came home in dire need of a shower.

You run your hands up his chest, settling one on his shoulder and burying the other in his hair. The dirt, the grime—it's all gone now, replaced by your release and the sweat of your exertion. He smells so good, just like your fancy shampoo. Just like home.

You lean in to kiss him deeply and he melts into you, his lips soft and warm against yours. When you part, you're met with that look again. The one he gave you after you asked him to shower with you, and that he hasn't stopped giving you since. Like he's observing you, contemplating you.

You recognize it now—it's hope.

"I've been waiting a long time for you too, Joel."

He kisses you again, holding you close as the water goes ice cold.

thanks so much for reading! 🥰

[eclipseberrycake]

Poly! MoonBerryCake x Reader Pt. 6

AN: I really need to stop this is getting crazy (DW i'll never stop). This has been in the works for a while, and the part number has changed a few times, but I feel this is a good time to release this onto the world. This one will have some warnings so head them if easily triggered please! You are more important than any piece of fanfiction!

-> Part one

-> Part Two

-> Part Three

-> Part Four

-> Part Five

Warnings: Depictions of Gore, Depictions of being turned into a Twisted, Momentary/ Temporary loss of a partner, Grief, Acts of Violence, Ichor being used as blood.

☁ He knew the latest run had returned before the elevator had even docked itself, the groaning of the gears ringing in his ears as he slowly sat up. Blu gave a little mew at being disturbed before curling up where he was laying down, purring contently as she returned to her slumber.

☁ He gave her a few soft pets before standing, walking over to the elevator docking area, watching the door open. You were the first one out, beaming happily as you and Cosmo, who were hand in hand, twirled your way out of the elevator. He was just as happy as you, his smile lighting up his eyes, which shined like a rich chocolate. Seeing the two of you positively beam like the sun made his heart thrum at the prospect of you two looking at him the way you looked at each other.

☁ It was such a silly thing to him, and never something he would've expected should you have asked him about this very scenario before the breakout. The thought alone made him snicker, shaking his head slightly as you used some exaggerated hand motions to explain something that must've happened on the run. Cosmo seemed utterly entranced by the action, his curled tail wagging behind him so quickly the sprinkles seemed to be a blurred streak of color.

☁ It looked like the poor cake roll was gonna explode before he was sweeping you up into his arms and spinning, both of you laughing. It was such an amazing scene to see, only interrupted when he startled at the feeling of arms hooking around his own waist. Looking up, he grinned at the berry watching you two as well, a dopey grin on his own face.

☁ "Must've been a good run." Sprout hummed before pressing a chaste kiss to his temple. "How was the nap?"

☁ Leaning into the embrace, Astro burrowed into the fur lining of his cape, exhaustion still tugging the corners of his foggy brain. "Good. Blueberry slept with me."

☁ Sprout hummed at the information, "I was wondering where she went. Good to know she was with you and not peeing on Finn's clothes again."

☁ If Astro grinned behind the fur of his cloak, the only one that needed to know was Sprout, who was grinning himself. Leaning back onto Sprout, who was warm from being in the kitchen, Astro felt his eyes threaten to close, only staying awake due to the fact that he was standing, and too busy watching the pure energy that you and Cosmo radiated. It was almost tangible, and if the grins on the other toons faces were anything to go by, they could feel it too.

☁ He couldn't imagine why though. If he remembered correctly, when you and Cosmo had snuck off that morning, you two had assured them it was simply a restock run meant to ensure you and Goob were still working together as you should and trying to implement Pebble into your tactics. Or so Astro thinks he remembers that's what it was. Truthfully he barely he remembered you two leaving, too tired to recognize what was happening around him before burrowing into Sprout's side. He felt the berry talking that morning, but didn't hear what was said, so maybe Sprout knew.

☁ Just as he was about to ask, you seemed to notice them, alerting Cosmo, who set you down, ready to take off when you stumbled, dizzy but still laughing. He shot out an apology, helping you stabilize before taking off as you shook yourself out, quickly following.

☁ They knew you were faster than all of them, but the spinning must've done a number on you as Cosmo beat you to them, jumping onto Astro the second he was close enough. They went down in a heap, making him gasp out at the feeling of an entire body on his ribs, even if he grinned nonetheless accepting the kisses bestowed upon him. Cosmo's tail was wagging wildly behind him, ruffling his cloak as it did, making Astro chuckle before catching Cosmo's cheeks and pressing a proper kiss to the cake roll's lips.

☁ Whatever high he had been riding seemed to finally calm itself a bit as he soothed himself, melting into the kiss before seperating, even if he laughed the second he could. "We missed you."

☁ "We could tell." Astro grins, feeling Cosmo's forehead lean on his own. Using two of his arms, he secures the cake roll to his chest while the other two help him sit up, his eyes darting to where Sprout had managed to catch you and stay upright. Your legs were wrapped around his waist as you pressed kiss after kiss to his cheeks, forehead, chin, anywhere; his own hands holding your thighs with a dazed look across his love stricken face.

☁ Astro couldn't help but laugh at the scene, Cosmo chuckling in front of him before Sprout was shaking his head and returning the affection tenfold with a solid kiss to your own lips.

☁ When you separated, laughing with flushed cheeks, you made him put you down with a parting peck before turning to Cosmo. Something mischievous sparked in your eyes as Cosmo also stood and before he knew it, he was pinned to the floor once more.

☁ It was a welcome feeling as he was much more prepared this time, catching you in a much more firm hold than he had on Cosmo as you gave him the same affection you had given Sprout.

☁ You and Cosmo were so full of affection and life, it was truly some sort of miracle you had even given him a chance. He counted his lucky stars every time one of you, any of you, had given him a hug, kiss or even just held his hand. It was like the heavens had smiled upon him when making you three and he would be damned before giving any of you up.

☁ Catching your cheeks, he held you for a second, watching your giggles before pressing a firm kiss to your lips in the same manner he did to Cosmo, even if you ended up laughing through it. When he pulled away, you were still just as smiley and as exuberant as you had been since the day he laid eyes on you.

☁ "What's got you two so giddy?" Sprout had finally asked, Cosmo nuzzling into his scarf. "Thought this was a restock run."

☁ "It was!" You answer to the best of your abilities, Astro removing his hands so you could speak properly. That doesn't deter you though, as you positively beam. "But then we ran into Shelly!"

☁ "You what-" Both Astro and Sprout seemed shocked that seeing a main, especially Shelly who left your brain foggy and confused, left you in such high spirits. Sprout immediately went about checking Cosmo for any injuries but just as Astro went to return the favor you shook him off.

☁ "No, no, we're okay I promise, but we did it!" It was your turn to hold his cheeks, making him look at you as you're perfect smile lit up your face, nothing but pure adoration in your eyes as you gazed upon him. "We got her research."

☁ Astro, truthfully, didn't know how to feel. Back before this entire thing had gone down, him and Shelly were close friends. They went to each other for practically everything. He was the first person she told when she admitted she liked girls too. She was who he first came out to admitted that he liked any gender.

☁ To hear that they could bring her back? His best friend outside of you three?

☁ His eyes burned as all four of his arms wrapped around you, squeezing you to his chest as you laughed, returning the action and letting him hide in your chest. He never thought he could love any harder than he loved not ten minutes ago, but sitting here, he knew that wasn't the case. You and Cosmo and Sprout always managed to prove him wrong. He wasn't even sure how that was possible anymore.

☁ But as he held you, heart so full of pure adoration, he realized he didn't care. Everything leading up to this point was worth it. Every agonizing step as a twisted, eyes burning by the ichor leaking out of them in the form of mocking tears, with his hands so cold and stained with ichor he couldn't tell which was which, was worth it. Even if it was just for this one moment alone.

☁ Looking up at Sprout and Cosmo, who were watching him with those same adoring smiles on their faces, he hoped that messaged was purveyed to them in the same way he hoped it was to you.

☁ Getting ready for that run was a challenge all on it's own. With the added effects of confusion that left the extractors slower and dazed the distractors, messing with their sense of direction, it was imperative that they were prepared before even daring to go on a retrieval mission. Hordes of smaller, five floor runs were orchestrated with those who had no want or need to go on the retrieval run to gather supplies while those who were going on the run planned for the worst with fail safes above all else.

☁ It would be himself, Sprout, Cosmo and you, absolutely guaranteed, but from there it got dicey. Goob was powerful and you worked well with him, but Pebble was much faster and good in case his twisted form showed up. Plus, they needed at least two fast extractors, since both Astro and Sprout carried the Veemote.

☁ In the end, it was decided more distractors was better than the alternative and Goob and Pebble were both brought on, along with Glisten and Vee. With two healers, three distractors, two extractors and a support, it seemed like a fine run.

☁ Piling into the elevator, even the usual tension that normally was there during a retrieval run seemed lightened as light chatter rung out among them. You and Goob were making sure Pebble's trinkets were attached securely, you're own dangling by your waist, while Sprout was chatting with Vee about the room layouts and how best to split her and Glisten. So far the plan was that himself, Sprout, Vee and Glisten each take a machine for the time being while climbing up to the higher floors with you, Goob and Pebble alternating distracting on a schedule you had pre-planned based on likely hood of certain twisteds appearing. While it was subject to change, of course, it was comforting to know when you were expected to be in the line of fire.

☁ Cosmo himself was tasked with staying nearby the distractor just in case, his high stealth making him a valuable asset in terms of healing without any difficulties. The other distractors would be tasked with searching the floors for anything useful, and with any luck on their side, this would be an easy retrieval. Or as easy as one could be.

☁ Walking over, Astro rounded around Cosmo's back so he could place his chin on the cake roll's shoulder, following his line of sight to where you were trying to keep Pebble still enough you could fix his trinkets on his collar. "Are you alright?"

☁ Cosmo was silent for a second, fists clenching by his side as he held a deep breath for a moment. "I-...I have a weird feeling about this run." He admitted. "But I don't know what to do about it. The last time I felt about this was...Pebble's retrieval."

☁ Swallowing, Astro tried not to think about Pebble's retrieval if he could help it. You had gotten so hurt during that, almost losing the bit of sanity necessary to refrain from becoming a twisted all because they weren't quick enough. It made his chest ache thinking about it, and he understood why the worry made Cosmo as anxious as he seemed.

☁ "We'll be there. The entire time." Astro swears, urging the universe to head the warning he's promising. He wouldn't let anything tear you apart. He wouldn't. He'd give himself and his own humanity up before your own. Seeing you that night on the balcony and hearing how you feared yourself was never something he wanted you to experience again. If he could take you're hurt from that time, he'd do it in a heartbeat. He'd do it for you, Cosmo and Sprout without a second thought. "We have Pebble now anyway, so we have someone who can successfully distract...that twisted."

☁ This seems to ease Cosmo, even if not entirely as the first floor is revealed and you're taking off, blowing kisses their way as you run backwards before turning, pinpointing the twisteds Vee highlighted.

☁ And like that, floor by floor is completed quickly with little issue. Medkits are picked up so both Sprout and Cosmo are stocked with plenty, while the healers remain mindful of the supplies they pick up. Even Astro, Glisten and Vee have some form of heal on them in case of emergencies. It was going as a normal run would, even if the feeling in his gut heavily disagreed.

☁ Astro was never a man of myths, despite being a celestial, but he could feel the bad omen in the air, if only for the fact that the amount of heals given was too many to be comfortable. It felt like someone was preparing them for something, which made his skin prickle with goose bumps.

☁ Things would be okay. They'd have to be. He doesn't know what he would do if something happened to one of you.

☁ The only tell that something is not as it should be is on the sixteenth floor. The door opens and immediately they know Shelly is there. There's a thin film of fog that crosses over his brain, blurring the objects in his vision just enough it takes an extra heartbeat to recognize who's who. The effect it has on the disctractors seems stronger as Pebble whimpers, shaking his head while both you and Goob groan at the feeling. There are heavy, leafy steps as well and from the corner of his eye, Astro can see Sprout frown. But it's nothing you haven't handled before. No, it truly only gets worse from there, as Vee taps her mic and a silhouette he is all too familiar with is seen tramping down the hallway, all four arms outreached and looking for something. Just the sight of it churns his gut, yet you and the other distractors seem unfazed.

☁ You're quick to bark out some directions, taking Sprout's twisted for yourself as you're used to his vines. You direct Pebble to take Astro's twisted as the tired effect he forces upon those around him has virtually no effect since Pebble is fast enough he doesn't need to run, leaving Goob with Shelly. He's given the antidote and instructed that he should wait till panic, but if he has the opportunity, take it.

☁ Turning, you look at the rest of the group, giving each of them a stern look over as you quickly strategize before nodding. "I have a med-kit, so the healers can go with Goob and Pebble-" Both healers open their mouth to immediately disagree, but you hold up a hand. "I'll stick close enough one of you can get to me at all times. Cosmo, I'd go with Pebble since your stealth will make healing him easy, and Sprout I'd go with Goob in case of emergencies. Vee, Glisten and Astro, I trust you'll find those machines quickly. If each of you finish two we'll be done before you know it." You grin, as optimistic as ever.

☁ You don't give anyone the chance to deny what you've said before taking off, quickly finding Sprout and leading the twisted on a wild chase. Pebble barks before doing the same with Goob, the two splitting up soon after with Sprout and Cosmo reluctantly following. Looking to the other two, Astro frowns, seeing them both reflecting the same emotion he's feeling. Maybe you had the same gut feeling too, but just didn't show it. It's hard to say.

☁ Still, they don't waste any time and quickly go about finish the machines they were given. Astro's already standing outside the elevator with Glisten when the elevator's open, the mirror stepping inside as he waits for the others just in case. Pebble and Cosmo are first, sliding into the elevator with heavy breaths as the countdown continues.

☁ Next is surprisingly Goob and Sprout, the latter carrying the limp, ichor riddled body of Shelly. Even from where he stands, he can feel Sprout's magic attempt to work, but Shelly's too exhausted for it to take any real effect.

☁ Swallowing, Astro makes eye contact with Sprout, who nods, before letting his own magic thrum, praying that you and Vee would be okay. You had to be.

☁ There was no way you wouldn't.

☁ Yet, as the countdown continues, he begins to worry. It's evident with the way the others toe the boundary of the elevator they do too. Even Pebble is whining, almost looking ready to dart back out when five seconds hit. You and Vee come skidding around a corner, the former looking at the end of her circuit's power as you escort her to the elevator.

☁ Four seconds hit and the other two Twisted are turning the same corner.

☁ Three Seconds and Astro swears he knows exactly what you're thinking the second the thought hits. Registering his position crouched by Sprout and Shelly, he realizes he's too far to make any real difference.

☁ Two seconds and you falter by just a step, ensuring you're behind Vee, glancing behind you to make sure the twisted's are focused on you.

☁ One second and it seems like slow motion drags out what may possibly be the worst moment of his life. Your hands pull back before rushing towards Vee's back, making her stumble forward into Goob's outstretched hands. Cosmo and Sprout immediately clue into what just happened, eyes going wide as Astro jumps to his feet. Goob's arms snap back just as the elevator gears begin to turn and you take a sharp turn to avoid running into the metal wall. He's sees the puddle of ichor spawn underneath of you, an inky vein shooting up and into your side. You shout out, ichor spitting out of your mouth as the twisted version of himself catches up at last, his clawed fingers digging into your pallid flesh.

☁ The elevator shuts just as the first sounds of flesh tearing and Ichor being spilt rings out along with your pained screams.

☁ Sprout runs into the wall of the elevator, fruitlessly banging on it helplessly as salty tears run down his spotted cheeks, begging, pleading for it to be himself. How he could save you, take the pain away. He screams for something, anything to change or give him the chance to make it different, but it's a plea that falls on a the ears of a deaf, vengeful entity.

☁ Cosmo is crying as well, holding his hands to his mouth as he collapses to his knees, the thunk echoing in the elevator as it's quickly redirected to the lobby. His shoulders begin to hiccup as he falls forward one of his hands falling to catch himself as his breaths begin in rushed, panicked motions, choking him before they're even fulling sucked in.

☁ Astro himself can't even begin to fathom what happened. The reality of it all seems just out of his grasp as the confusion from the remnants of Twisted Shelly's embrace fades away. It settles in the gapes of his psyche comfortably. the look on your face as you made the very decision that took you away from and sealed yourself for what was a painful, tragic turning.

☁ You had faced what was your greatest fear in order to save Vee. Vee, who was still in shock on the ground in front of him, looking too terrified to truly understand what had happened. Vee, who was Sprout's best friend and you knew that. All on a run to save his own best friend, who was groaning in Glisten's hold.

☁ A cold numbness gripped his chest as his eyes began to burn, his fists clenching and unclenching as he truly has no idea where to go from here. Where is there to go truly? He is no longer a complete being without each part of your group. He had given each of you such a large part of his mind, body and soul and to have one of them yanked away right in front of him left feeling hollow.

☁ It was an odd feeling, watching Sprout and Cosmo go through the motions of grief while feeling themself. He can tell Sprout is livid. Raging beyond normal anger as he spits heartbroken curses at the wall, ranting about how you had promised to be more careful and how it wasn't fucking fair. How could you leave them like this?!

☁ Cosmo is curled into a tight ball, hyperventilating as Goob rubs his back, screaming into the space between his chest, knees and the floor. His fingers are curled so tightly that the flesh of his knuckles look strained and he can tell in the strain of his voice that his throat is aching from the sheer ferocity of the cries alone.

☁ For himself? Astro finds himself in an odd dance of denial of the very event he just saw happen and bargaining for someone, anyone, to bring you back. He'd offer himself in a heartbeat. He'd offer all the tapes or ichor he could get his hands on. He'd sell his soured, moon-laden lonely soul if it meant you're sunny, bright self rain it's light on them forever more. The words you had told him the night on the balcony kept ringing in his ears, about how terrified you were of yourself. How you'd never wish it on anyone, let alone them.

☁ He never dreamed, no, he wasn't allowed that pleasure as the keeper of dreams himself, but this was very much what he imagined a nightmare to feel like. He wanted to wake up. He needed to wake up and see you there, sleeping in between him and Sprout as you always did, Blu snuggled against your chest. He needed to see the slow rise and fall of your chest. He needed to see you.

☁ The elevator opened and the others rushed to greet them only to stop at the sight of one less familiar face, gasps ringing out around them. Shelly was taken away to the med-bay by someone, he couldn't tell.

☁ He didn't even know how he got the wherewithal to move, but he found himself doing so, gently waving off Goob before collapsing next to Cosmo and pulling the cake roll to his chest. He wrapped his cloak around the sobbing man, mindlessly rubbing up and down his back with a hand while another held Cosmo's face to his shoulder, if only to save him the shame from everyone watching them.

☁ His glazed eyes scanned the area before them as well, landing on Sprout who seemed to run out of steam momentarily, swallowing tightly as his fists clenched. Astro opened his mouth, a broken croak of the berry's name leaving his lips. It did the trick as Sprout turned, blinking at the them before more tears ran down his face and he was stumbling over to them, wrapping himself around them as he began to let out heavy, wrenching sobs.

☁ Astro bowed his head to rest against Cosmo's, his own tears dripping down his cheeks. He shouldn't have used his power like that. He could've saved you. He had the power and opportunity to do so, but couldn't. If you had just gotten to the elevator, they could've saved you no matter what. But you hadn't because Vee didn't have the Stamina to get there without your intervention.

☁ That night was the hardest night he's ever had. He wasn't sure how they made it out of the elevator, but they had. Sprout had nearly gone to his own room, but that idea was quickly dashed by Astro's hand on his wrist, stopping him. It wasn't what you would've wanted.

☁ So Sprout remained with them, the night time routine quickly being cut down to only the most basic motion of getting into bed. As hard as that was, the worst was when Blu hopped up, as oblivious as ever, mewing for you. When she didn't immediately spot you, she slowly stepped further up to where you normally slept, bowing her head as if to take a closer look to where you could be. When she couldn't find you, she mewled again, sounding much more desperate than the first attempt.

☁ Cosmo is quick to bring her into his chest, curling around her as if she were a last chain to reality. To you. He's the first to speak between the three of them besides angry curses or desperate pleas. "We'll get them back." He swears, sounding more resolute than either Astro or Sprout have every heard him. "The same way they got us back."

☁ Neither of the other two have to say anything for Cosmo to know they're promising alongside him.

☁ The quest for your twisted form's research is begun the next morning, the other toons adamantly refusing to let them go until the fateful recovery mission. They were too emotional and would lose themselves should they be allowed to go now.

☁ It's a painful, pitiful thing even if they understand deep down. Moreso, it's a grueling and slow process. Every floor you're on is the last the run does, immediately retreating after coming into contact with your twisted, beaten and bruised. None of them tell them what you look like, but it's a small mercy. They don't talk about what you did or what happened, they simply pass over the research and continue on to med-bay.

☁ It takes just over 4 days for the research to finish with the antidote provided and by that point, Astro feels he's going to burst if he's benched from this mission one more time. He's moved from the numb feeling of loss, moving to anger at the world for daring to do this to you. To pure hatred at Dandy and the ichor now coursing through your veins. He hates it. He needs to fix it.

☁ So he will.

☁ Sprout is in much the same boat as he is while Cosmo seems more determined then ever. He's silent but stoic, glowering at anyone who even looks like they're thinking about telling him to stay back. If it weren't for the circumstance, Astro would be proud of the cake roll for finding his backbone, but as it stands they have bigger problems.

☁ They know their roles, but at this point, it's evident even the most thoughtful of plans can go to hell in a handbasket.

☁ Floor by floor, they trek through, watching Poppy and Boxten, the two most familiar with your twisted form, for any sign or recognition of you being there. By floor eleven, they seem to get it, faces immediately tightening. With a glance at each other, Poppy is quick to turn to them, the ever optimistic girl incredibly stern as she spoke. "There's one incredibly vital part you need to know. Stay out of view as much as possible. Even if you don't think they spotted you, remain there until you're sure. They'll charge you if they find you. From there you have three seconds to build enough of a gap between yourself and them to hide. Do not attempt to distract. They're too fast. They will turn you if you give them the chance, so don't."

☁ The warning left something sour churning in Astro's gut as the doors opened and they all immediately darted behind the boxes in front of the elevator. Slowed, sluggish steps echoes behind them and a risky reach for a capsule beside them revealed the other toon to be Rodger, meaning that was you. You were there, so close. Within arms reach! They just had to get to you.

☁ Which was the hardest part of it all, really. You were fast, strong and precise. A dangerous combination. There was a moment of silence before Poppy was slowly moving, as if trying to get a grasp on the situation before she was immediately darting back, hands clapping against her mouth.

☁ The steps stopped.

☁ Reaching over, Astro grabbed the first person's hands he could find, squeezing them tightly as he urged them to continue. Sprout seemed to be his unfortunate victim, even as he squeezed back. The steps did continue, but they were quick, too quick and before they knew it, the boxes behind them were crushed as you crashed into them, roars of agony leaving you as they scattered. The three of them hid in a side room as you shook off, whipping around for any sight of limb or tail of any of them. When you found nothing, you snarled, giving them a good look at your twisted form. Your teeth are beyond sharp as you snap on air, sheening with drool and stained with ichor. There's a large, gaping wound in your side that drops the same black ooze, trailing behind you as you limp along the way. Worst of all were your eyes. Ones that used to shine like diamonds in their own right, laced with nothing but pure love and the edges of your soul were now stained red as you yanked at your fuzz in frustration.

☁ There were even large claws on your fingers, which clawed at your face as you did so, making you more frustrated as you howled out some form of anguished noise. Some form of movement caught your eye after this and you were off once more.

☁ Astro was forced back into hiding as his chest heaved. You were there. And all he could think was that you were correct to be scared. How scared you must've been now. Through all the pain and anger you must've been feeling as a twisted, the fear for the you that was left must've been astronomical.

☁ It makes his eyes burn as he shuts them tightly, urging his breath to remain steady. Looking over at Sprout and Cosmo, he swallows tightly. "I'll go first. Stay here unless absolutely necessary. Especially you Sprout-"

☁ "You can't ask that of me!" Sprout is quick to snap, even if his eyes look frantic. "That's not fair. To me or to them. You can't just expect me to sit here and-and- to what?! Wait?!" He cries out only to immediately hush himself at the sound of your cries, the ding of a machine going off.

☁ "I'm not asking you to wait." Astro is quick to reassure. He can't lose them and you. He can't. He'd break. He'd willingly turn himself back over to the twisted side if it meant being with you all once more. But he knew that's not what you would want. "I have the highest stealth. Even if they do spot me, I have the best chance of getting away."

☁ "By your same logic, I have the highest stamina." Sprout shoots back bitterly, crossing his arms. "For someone's who's power regenerates stamina, it doesn't work on you. You'd be hooped."

☁ "Coming from the man who can't heal himself?" Astro can't help himself, snarling back angrily. Sprout's mouth opens to retaliate before Cosmo is pushing them apart, shooting a hard look at both of them.

☁ "Knock it off." He sneers, voice low and quiet as his eyes dart out the room. The steps are closer than they were before, but slowed and unhurried. After quickly checking to make sure you're out of hearing range, Cosmo shoots them both a hard look, as if unable to believe what's in front of them. It makes both mains wilt in shame admittedly. "It doesn't matter who does what. What matters is getting them back." The cake roll continues, swallowing tightly as his eyes water. "They did it for every single one of us, without fail. It didn't matter how hurt, how scared or how tired they were. They did it. Over and over and over again. This whole thing even happened because they were doing it again." There's another ding of a machine.

☁ "Our job here isn't to do the machines. Our job, above all else, is to get them back." Cosmo takes a breath. "And then kick their ass for daring to do something like that."

☁ The third machine rings, but your cry of attack rings with it, your steps thundering away from their hiding place. That's their cue as Sprout pulls out the antidote provided to him by Goob, clenching it tightly. Between the three of them, it would be their job to somehow pin you down long enough and bring you back.

☁ The fourth machine dings and panic begins with the blaring of red lights as elevator opens. The others, save for Boxten, are quick to return and they're hoping if nothing else the noise brings you their way.

☁ But when Boxten appears, they're faced with yet another problem. He's being chased by a twisted clone of Flutter, who has her eyes locked in on their prey. A number of curses are dropped as Sprout shoves the antidote into Astro's hand and takes off. Flutter immediately turns her attention to him, allowing Boxten to find safe recluse in the elevator. In that moment however, you turn the corner and you're eyes immediately lock onto Sprout.

☁ You fall to all fours, darting forward with a snarl on your features. Sprout lets out a yelp at the sight, making a harsh U-turn only for Flutter to dig her clawed feet into his arm. It makes him yelp as he pulls away, but you don't falter. Cosmo and Astro both step forward with a yell, but you're jumping before they can stop you.

☁ It's not Sprout you pounce on though.

☁ No, you go right past Sprout and tackle Flutter in a messy clash of claws and snarls. You throw the Twisted further away from them with another loud growl, crouching in front of them, as if daring Flutter to get closer.

☁ She doesn't, taking the loss for what it was and flying away.

☁ You don't even notice Astro's by your side until he's jabbing the needle into your neck the same way he's seen you do it, making you cry out as you're body withers beneath him. The wound on your side gives a final gush of ichor as you do, pulsating with the oily liquid as your body contorts. Your voice, the one that's spent endless hours reading out the worlds from your stories to him, or listing instructions to Cosmo, or even picking fun, meaningless arguments with Sprout, is now entwined with the gravelly groan of your Twisted's voice, crying out for relief of some kind.

☁ It shred's whatever remnants remain of Astro's patience as he quickly scoops you against his chest, turning to elevator. Cosmo's already healed Sprout, who's leaning against the cake roll for support, both eagerly awaiting him in the elevator.

☁ The metal wall slams shut behind them and Astro quickly kneels, making sure you're body is supported as he takes a breath of relief for what felt like the first time in the last few miserable days.

☁ You're there. You're with them and breathing, even if it's laboured and strained, you're ichor stained hands grasping at your side.

☁ Sprout is right there, first aid kid in hand with a bandage already wrapped around his arm where Flutter had gotten. His hand is shaky as it raises, gently resting on your head as his eyes shine in a way Astro knows he'll deny later.

☁ Cosmo is already crying, holding one of your hands tightly despite the fact that Astro's sure you're not even aware of what's going on.

☁ He himself can feel himself ease at last, even if he knows the night will be hard on every one of you. As he holds you close and you're weak, albeit just as sunny and exuberant smile shines once more, he knows it'll already all be worth it.

[cozage]

First of all, love the way you write the characters and stories!! They’re so fun to read and always is a huge moodbooster!

May I request Law or the monster trio finding reader after finishing up a huge battle? (Like where the reader is too exhausted to move)

Please remember to take care of yourself so to not end up like overworked reader!! You’re always allowed and deserving of rest 🫶

Characters: gn reader x Law, Luffy, Sanji, Zoro Cw: post-battle exhaustion  Total word count: 800

Post Battle

Law

Law would be pissed that you spent all of your energy to fight a battle. Especially a battle that he started.

He would be more scared than anything, and he would also blame himself for putting you in this situation. He just wants you safe, and it’s not fair that you ended up like this because of him.  

He would probably scold you and warn you not to take things too far again (“your body can’t take much more of this y/n-ya. You know better”)

But he doesn’t want to lose you. That thought is the scariest thing in the world for him. He can’t live without you. 

And the fear of losing you comes out in the form of anger. But his fear will quickly extinguish, and he will quickly become the soft, loving man you know in secret. 

He’ll pick you up and shambles you both away to safety, where you are priority number one. He cares to your wounds and caters to anything you possibly need (even if he does fake-grumble about it, he really does love it)

In the future, he promises himself that he will do better and he will never put you in a position like that again. 

Sanji

Sanji didn’t even want you to fight. He’s angry that you put yourself in harm's way. Someone should’ve been there to protect you. He should’ve been there. 

Not that you can’t handle yourself. He trusts you to get the job done. He’s just mad at himself for leaving you in the first place and putting you in a situation where you had to fight. 

When he whispers your name and coos in your ear, promising you that you’ll be okay.

He calls for Chopper and he wipes your hair out of your face. He doesn’t want to move you in case he ends up hurting you further. He’s trying his best to stay calm. 

He wants to panic, and every bone in his body is screaming in agony seeing you like this, but he doesn’t want you to panic, so he tries his best to act normal (he's not super great at it tbh he is so obviously scared for you)

He keeps saying stupid things like “no no don’t talk, save your strength” or “you look so beautiful everything is going to be okay” and you have to remind him that everything WILL be okay. You’re not dying, you're just tired. 

While you're recovering he makes so. much. food. You have to pawn some off to Luffy when Sanji isn’t looking because there’s no way you can eat so much. 

Luffy

Luffy would be proud. SO so proud. 

Covering you in kisses and cheering and showing you off to the world proud. 

He trusts you to handle whatever battle you’re in. And he knows you’ll hold up your part of the deal. You’ve never let him down before. 

He keeps you close though. He takes a post-battle nap with you, intertwined with your body. 

He feels safe with you next to him like that. He swears your body has magical healing properties, because he always wakes up 200% better after sleeping next to you (you feel better too, though you can’t explain why).

He keeps you next to him through the feast and the party, and he examines your new cuts, bruises, and scars. He only admires them, which helps you feel a little less insecure about them. 

Sometimes you all have matching cuts or bruises, to which Luffy celebrates with another round of booze and another plate of meat. 

Zoro

Zoro is also insanely proud of you. 

He never doubted you, but he knew it would be a hard battle. It was for everyone. But of course you got it finished. You were a person of your word and you would do what you said. 

He tries to be casual about it. He won’t admit that he was a little worried about how you would end up, but he’s so relieved to find you mostly okay. 

He doesn’t admit how his pace quickened when he saw you crumpled on the ground. How just for a moment, he found himself considering a quick prayer to some random god to make sure you were okay. 

But you were just tired. And he knows how to fix that. He gently picks you up and carries you back to safety. 

He lets you sleep while he runs his fingers through your hair and across your skin, so so thankful that all you need is a little nap to be okay. 

And to be honest, he could use a nap too. He’ll blame you for needing a nap, but he always sleeps easier with you around, especially after a battle.

[n0vaisnthere]

Reader is actively bothering dan heng and at some point starts scratching him under his chin and he purrs

And then they kinda,, settle down and he falls asleep on their lap. I need purring dan heng please

Dragon turned cat

Summary —☆ giving grumpy Dan Heng chin scratches to bother him!

Contains —★ fluff, Imbibitor Lunae Dan Heng, mischievous reader, pre established relationship

Dragon turned cat. Except he sleeps like one.

Honestly.. After getting back after that big fight with ‘Phantylia’ on the ‘Xianzhou Luofu’, no doubt everyone is drained. So trudging back to their room, (Reader) makes an exhausted trek over to the car door. Himeko is going back to creating her 5th coffee, and Welt is just going to take a much needed break. March 7th is going to do some mild stress-shopping online. No worries.

But Dan Heng? Well, is it ‘Imbibitor Lunae’ now? Even just asking themselves that question makes (Reader) more tired. Though, they do feel pity for the Express’ cloud-piercer-turned-Vidyadhara. He really had gotten a lot of pressure from that and (Reader) couldn't imagine how he felt. So for now, they just wanted to go to their room and take the fattest nap they could, leaving Dan Heng to relax and rejuvenate himself.

Arriving and flopping on their bed, (Reader) turns and lays on their back to stare at the ceiling. You'd think that they would be passing out right away, but they aren't.

“..Damn..” (Reader) gruffed to themselves, body feeling achy, yet mind awake. “..Dan Heng…”

Pause.

“..Really did look even more attractive with horns and a tail.” (Reader) has come to that embarrassing conclusion purely on intrusive thoughts and thinking out loud. Which they quickly realized and groaned into their hands. “..Oh cmon (Reader).. He could be insanely hurt and all you could think about is how attractive he is…”

Internally berating themselves, (Reader) should be leaving poor Dan Heng alone. And yet here they are, gushing and tweaking out over the pure adrenaline of seeing a new side of the normally stoic and quiet member of the Express. To ease their now rioting mind, (Reader) closes their eyes in an attempt to sleep. But of course, that does not help. And instead, pictures and moments from the fight with ‘Phantylia’ kept playing over and over again. Fortunately, it wasn't all just frames of Dan Heng in his dragon form, but from how admirable he is for continuing to fight even though he could easily be exerting himself.

And that's one of the things that made (Reader) feel so fond of Dan Heng; For his constant determination and passion to protect everybody is just admirable, even if he gets hurt in the process.

..Which is why (Reader) suddenly feels the need to check-up on Dan Heng and make sure he’s okay.

Filled with an abrupt injection of energy, (Reader) springs out of bed and makes a quick trot down to Dan Heng’s room, filled with good intentions.

And yet they pause in front of his door, about to knock. They stop because… What if Dan Heng wanted to be alone? To think about all of the sins that he had to inherit from the previous ‘Imbibitor Lunae’? All of a sudden, (Reader)’s head gets heavy with guilt for lack of consideration on that part.

But to make themselves feel better, instead of making this an energetic pick-me-up for Dan Heng, (Reader) decides to just gently ask if Dan Heng needed anything. And so they knock.

Knock.

There was silence on the other side, but a small, tired ‘Come in’ was heard. (Reader), being ecstatic that Dan Heng seemed willing enough to let them in, quietly opened the door and peeked their head inside.

“Dan… Heng?” (Reader) starts off with a mellow voice. “You doing…” Their eyes glaze over Dan Heng, who is still in his Vidyadhara form for a few seconds. Those beautiful turquoise horns on the dark shade of his hair.. And that long mystical tail that curled around his body as he sat on the floor was just adorable and serene.

Shaking their head, (Reader) clears their throat softly. “..Al..right?” They finally finished as Dan Heng turned his head around.

And so, that's where his fatigue is clear. His face was a little gloomier than his normal gloomy, visible clues on him being very exhausted. Those greenish-blueish eyes were also glazed with overwhelming swirls. Stressed out this poor man. Truly.

Blinking and sighing, Dan Heng looked down at his crossed legs. “..I’m.. fine. Thank you for asking (Reader).” He responds, but just has that kind of vibe that he is clearly trying to make himself feel better and not have (Reader) worry about him.

Sensing absolute BS, (Reader) tilted their head as they ended up walking inside and closing his door behind them. “You sure? Cause it looks like you could drink some of Himeko’s coffee..” They joked, but quickly regretted it as it didn't seem like the right time to say that.

In response to that, Dan Heng only ‘Hmm'd' and didn't comment on (Reader) entering his room without explicit permission, which (Reader) subconsciously thanked.

The silence being so damn loud, (Reader) tries to then find some things to say or do that would lift Dan Heng’s spirits.

“..So…” (Reader) says a bit awkwardly. “..Do you need anything?”

“No thank you. Not at the moment.” Dan Heng responds with a firm tone that quickly falters to being a lazy and muttered response at the end.

“..Ah.” (Reader) nodded slowly.

At this point, they're just mentalling kicking themselves at how poorly planned out this little thing is becoming. Or well, didn't become since it’s been a literal wreck since (Reader) put their idea in motion.

“..I was just going to go back to meditating; Thinking about all of my newly shouldered responsibilities and stuff..” Dan Hend uttered as he sighed, staring back down on the floor.

Clearly he has been meditating for a long time, not physically sleeping or resting his sore body. (Reader) could very well see that.

“Okay well.. Couldn't you take a break from meditating for a little?” They suggest. “Maybe even catch some needed sleep..” (Reader) adds. But stop at that because it just sounds like they're bossing Dan Heng around.

However, the dragon didn't think so and looked up at (Reader) from the ground. “..MAybe you're right… But still. I have a lot on my mind and can't seem to relax.” He admits.

(Reader)’s heart pangs from feeling the heartfelt vulnerability coming from Dan Heng, as he really does try to handle things the best he could. So walk over and sit next to Dan Heng, also crossing their legs in that same kind of meditating position.

“Well, since you're tired and wanted to read, why don't I read whatever you need to you?” (Reader) offers with pure intentions.

Dan Heng’s face brightened up at the kind offer. “..How nice of you (Reader)..” He nodded appreciatively. Then shifted around and leaned back towards his small collection of books.

Tail moving out of his way, Dan Heng grabs a book about further research on ‘Synthesis’ or something. Handing (Reader) the book, Dan Heng leaned and relaxed on the floor, still in a restrictive ball.

(Reader) holds the book and shifts over to Dan Heng, but not too close. “A book on ‘Synthesis’..” They murmured in some amusement, then just opened up to a random page. “..Uhhh… ‘Omni-Synthesizer’ is used to create…”

And so for the next 10 minutes, (Reader) and Dan Heng both chill on the floor. (Reader) is much more energetic than the dragon, as the latter was just sitting there, listening along in silence as the tip of his tail flicked occasionally. But of course, things were getting repetitive, that was clear when (Reader) started to read with less energy. Even Dan Heng was nodding off to all of the ‘super intellectual information’ on the Omni-Synthesizer. Taking this as the cue to stop, (Reader) closes the book softly and sets it aside.

Sighing, (Reader) scoots up against the wall and rested their heavy on the shelf behind them. “Hah.. Sorry Dan Heng. But If I have to read ‘Omni-Synthesizer’ again I might knock myself out.” They apologized, looking at the horns on Dan Heng’s head first then at his tired face.

Dan Heng on the other hand, also followed in (Reader)’s lead, moving up and leaned against the shelf. “..It’s alright.”

“..So.. Do you feel more relaxed or..” (Reader) asks quietly, a yawn suddenly comes over them, so they just yawn into their hand. “..Cause I’m feeling tired again..”

At the question, Dan Heng’s tail sways back and forth on his floor, making no sound. “..I do feel.. Better, actually. Maybe I can actually sleep.” He sighs, feeling a little relieved and grateful for (Reader)’s help.

Smiling, (Reader) nodded and thought for a few seconds. They had an idea. A stupidly personal idea. But an idea. “..Yeah? Well uh,” They patted their lap with uncertainty. “...Maybe… A… HEAD MASSAGE would get you to fully relax??? You said before that you had a lot on your mind so why don't I smooth out those overwhelming feelings and thoughts?” (Reader) babbled.

Dan Heng stared blankly at the suggestion. Then sighed. “...Would that even work…?” He asks skeptically.

“..I don't know.” (Reader) admits sheepishly.

“Then it would be best to not try it. It might make my head hurt more.” Dan Heng said. Then looked away. He takes a deep sigh, seeming to calm his breathing.

Feeling a little embarrassed, (Reader) also looks away and at the lamp near his bed. “..Maybe you can't sleep because the light is on.” They say, reaching over then turned the lamp off.

Click.

The lights are off, and Dan Heng’s room suddenly turns dim. The only light source is coming from the radiating light from the nearby technology in the room.

Dan Heng makes no comments. And instead just sat there in silent brooding.

Silence again.

(Reader) thinks again and looks at Dan Heng once again in a side-glance. “..So.. How does having horns and a long tail feel?” They ask quietly.

Dan Heng looked over and looked away again. “It feels the same. I find myself not being able to feel them after a while.”

“Ah..” (Reader) slowly nods.

Awkward silence again.

“...So.. Were you always part of the Vidyadhara? Or did you just reconnect with…” (Reader) makes a confused hand gesture. Then dropped them, waving a hand. “..Nevermind.” They muttered at their dumb question.

However, Dan Heng paid no mind to it, and kept focusing on clearing his head. At this point, a few minutes pass with the heavy silence. And maybe from too many awkward moments, (Reader) starts dozing off. Or well, their head is going up and down repeatedly. Glancing over once again, Dan Heng looked up and down (Reader) and made a few shifts over. Their knees make contact and (Reader) jolted up and awake, only to be met with sudden weight on their lap; A pair of light blue eyes meet up and gaze at their own from below, and blinked tiredly, only to look off to the side.

(Reader) doesn't say anything at first, and just sits there stunned. And only did their attention hone in as one of Dan Heng’s horn things ghosted against their shirt. They stare and stare, Dan Heng stares and stares off to the side in return. Kind of an awkward action, but (Reader) makes do with it and slowly brings a hand to pat the top of Dan Heng’s head,

His hair is soft. It was visually longer, and more… Luscious?? Voluminous? Whatever it is, it’s satisfying to the touch, quickly making (Reader) addicted to petting it as weird as it sounds. Dan Heng just closed his eyes at the sensation, and does not reject or fuss about it. So (Reader) continued for a few more strokes and moved down to Dan Heng’s face.

Testing the waters, (Reader) makes a few pokes at his cheeks. Dan Heng makes a surprised grunt at first, but does not react any further.

So. Progress..? (Reader) stops poking and moves down to his chin, cupping the soft V-shape with their fingers, thumb rubbing up against his cheek. Dan Heng’s eyes remained closed, but slightly tensed at the newfound touch, but he ultimately leaned into (Reader)’s hand and made a shallow, relaxing sigh. But that ‘sigh’ comes out as some kind of… Purring noise.? Or the small, cute and soft ones that a cat would make.

(Reader) freezes, then resumes again. Who knew dragons could make such noises. Every few strokes and rubs on his cheeks produced similar meowlings, and caused some reaction in his tail - which swayed back and forth in a gradual pace, much like a feline.

Not sure how much time passed, (Reader) figured that this would be a good time to have Dan Heng take a nap and rest his body finally. Only to look down and find the Vidyadhara-being already dozing away, still leaning into their warm, soft touch with his smooth skin. (Reader) smiled to themselves, happy that they could finally have Dan Heng rest and get the sleep he deserved.

Dan Heng made another faint purring noise as he slept, and (Reader) had to hold back snickering.

Ironic how a majestic Vidyadhara could make such adorable noises while being comforted and sleeping soundly.

.・。.・゜✭・WRITTEN BY: vxxxvnii (email me for more direct contact: vxnaly@gmail.com)

A/N: Please enjoy :3 Lmk if you guys like me or NOVA better /j SUPER LONG IM SORRY!!!! I was having a brain fart writing this

[dxxdhood]

take care

pairing: jason todd x gn!reader

summary: when you have a bad day at work, jason knows just the way to help you unwind.

tags: smut (18+), dom!jason todd, sub!reader, fingering, teasing, dirty talk, massages

wc: 2.1k

No matter what you try to tell yourself, you can’t stop crying. Ever since you woke up this morning, it feels like life has been throwing you the worst possible things to deal with– people being casually rude to you, your boss expecting unreasonable amounts of work done. After finally falling into bed, you completely lose it, sobbing so hard your body starts shivering. 

Jason won’t be back for another couple of hours at least, and usually that’s enough time for you to unwind from work, but today you can’t stomach the thought of doing anything. Instead, you slip into sleep while the tears are still fresh on your face. 

There’s a warm pat on your shoulder, and for a second, the bliss of sleep follows you from your nap into reality. But all too soon, you remember the day you’ve had and the tenseness from earlier sinks back into you.

“Hey,” Jason whispers, his hand still resting on your shoulder. “You alright?”

“Yeah– I’m,” You shake your head, stumbling across the half of the blanket that’s made it on the floor as you walk to the bathroom. “I’m just really tired. I’m going to shower, I forgot to earlier.”

You catch Jason’s concerned look from the corner of your eye, but you try not to stress about how you’re worrying him. As soon as the door closes behind you, you grip the bathroom counter and look at your reflection.

You’re so exhausted you look sick, but you don’t want to bother Jason with your own worries right now. When he’s not on patrol, he’s always researching more ways he can stop crime and minimize conflict. Really, he doesn’t have a ton of time of his own to relax, so you really shouldn’t burden him with your feelings. 

After a half-hearted shower, you toss on a T-shirt and shorts before walking towards the living room. Jason’s lounging on the couch, and he waves you over to watch a movie– Pride & Prejudice 2005.

“Oh? What’s the occasion?” You say, trying for cheerful.

“Just thought we could use something familiar,” He says, placing a blanket on top of you before wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

“I’m still going to need you to explain half of what’s going on, I can’t keep up with all the characters.”

“That’s why we’re watching it,” He kisses your cheek. “I just tricked you into listening to me ramble about my favorite book.”

You giggle, and for a second you almost feel light enough to enjoy the moment. You can’t shake the feeling that you’re forgetting something, though, and when it hits you, you nearly kick the blanket off of you.

“Shit! I didn’t make anything for dinner!”

“Hey, hey,” Jason moves his hand to rub the back of your neck. “It’s okay, I got something going in the oven.”

You settle back into your place on the couch, but you feel terrible. It was your turn to make dinner today since you got off your shift first. You can’t believe you let yourself fall asleep instead! Jason doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest, he just cuddles into your side further as you both watch the camera pan around Elizabeth Bennett. 

Suddenly, it hits you. You know how to make up for worrying him and forgetting about dinner. At first, you subtly try and bring your hand under the blanket, feeling around until you find his thigh. When you make contact, Jason gives you a look, trying to gauge whether or not it was intentional. You give him a cheeky smile as you continue.

Jason settles into the couch, just laying back and allowing you to do what you want, still figuring out why you’re suddenly in the mood. You run your nails against the inside of his thigh, lightly at first before digging in just a little, knowing he likes it a little rough.

You finally palm him through his shorts and he lets out a small gasp. His shoulders seem to fall back and you swear you can see some of the tension Jason always carries around leaving him. Carefully, you wrap your hand around his cock, and you lazily stroke him through the fabric as he exhales through his nose. You’re about to crawl under the blanket to take off his shorts when Jason grabs you by the shoulder and pulls you up to face him.

“Alright, that’s enough of that.”

“Huh? Don’t you want me to,” you gesture to his lap instead of letting your words trip you up. “I mean, I just started now, so I should really–”

“What are you talking about?” Jason shakes his head, his fluffy hair shifts with him.

“Look, I–” You massage your forehead, trying to work through some of your anxiety. “I was going to do something for you, Jason, so just let me–”

Jason slides his hand from your shoulder across your arm until he’s supporting your hand, bringing it in so he can kiss your knuckles.

“You’re always doing stuff for me,” He whispers. “Let me return the favor.”

The speed at which you break eye contact and begin fiddling with the blanket speaks volumes to Jason. You gulp as he lowers your hand, careful not to overstep. You know that if you say the word, the two of you can stop and go back to watching the movie in front of you. But still, no matter how much residual stress keeps bothering you, you want to know what Jason has in mind for you.

“Yes,” you say.

“What?” Jason leans in, not having heard you the first time.

“Yeah–” you try to fight against your own embarrassment at accepting the invitation. “I’d like you to… take care of me.”

For a moment, the two of you sit in silence before Jason bursts into giggles. You have the sense to feel offended, but he quickly wraps his arms around you and rests his head on your shoulder.

“God, lighten up, will you? You sound so serious, it’s not that big a deal.”

Immediately you fail at keeping a straight face, and although you really don’t want to give him the win, you end up letting out a snort.

“Alright, come on,” He taps your back. “Lay on your stomach.”

“What’re you doing?” You ask, even though you’re already maneuvering into position, tossing the blanket off the couch in the process.

“Just trust me, okay? Relax, I’ve got you.”

Jason’s hands are warm when they reach your back. You take in a small inhale, not quite sure what you were expecting. He moves his hands softly at first, just stroking the skin of your back and shoulders to get you accustomed to the feeling. As soon as you start getting comfortable, he starts applying the slightest bit of pressure, kneading at your shoulder muscles.

A sound escapes you that you’re not proud of, and though you’re certain Jason is smirking, you refuse to turn around and see it. Sighing into the couch cushions, you close your eyes and let yourself fade into the feeling. Jason moves downward, massaging your back in slow motions, carefully running his knuckle down the small of your back. It’s incredible, more than, but it doesn’t feel like nearly enough.

“You can press harder, you know.”

He huffs, “See, I was thinking that, but if I hurt you right now I don’t think I’d be able to forgive myself.”

Jason has a talent for saying things like that, things that make you melt no matter what’s running through your head. To his credit, he tries, kneading out all the knots across your back, but still with lighter pressure than you would’ve given to yourself.

“Is that alright?” He asks. “You want me to keep going?”

You hum, already starting to sink into the feeling. Jason continues, hands roaming all across your back. Your eyes start to close and you can feel yourself slipping into sleep before a hand starts to move down your body, gently feeling up your ass.

“Okay?” Jason says.

“Okay–” and as soon as you respond, he kneads the sore muscles in your upper thighs and ass, and although it causes a part of you to completely melt into the cushions, a part of you feels like you’ve just had a fire lit within you.

“Jason,” you start. “If you keep going, I might… uh–”

“No, you can say it,” he whispers as he leans in, covering your body with his own so you can feel his breath across your cheek. “Tell me what I do to you.”

“Shit–” you bury your head into the couch, but Jason carefully sets hand on your head and helps you make eye contact with him. 

“Talk to me,” his voice drops low. “I can’t give you what you want if you don’t tell me.”

He places a hand on top of one of yours resting in front of you. You flip your hand over and interlock your fingers with his. A barely audible exhale escapes from Jason as he gives your hand a squeeze.

“I want you to finger me.”

He’s smirking as he kisses your cheek, his lips trailing lower to your jawline before you even have time to register his movements. It’s like a switch has flipped in him, like he’s finally allowing himself to let loose for your sake. Like all he ever wants is to make you feel good if only you’ll allow him to.

The hand not holding yours moves from your ass to your inner thigh, softly rubbing circles only centimeters away from your slit. He catches you closing your eyes again, getting lost in the comfort around you and he gives your upper thigh a pinch. 

You give a small shout, and Jason uses the opening to slot two fingers in your mouth. He doesn’t even need to give the command, you’re already sucking him on instinct. Always efficient, Jason unclasps your hands to reach for the lube in the side table drawer while you’re distracted. He pulls his fingers from your mouth with a pop.

“Are you ready, baby?” 

“Because I can keep going if you’re not ready–” he pretends, as if he didn’t have a perfect view of your signal.

You nod, but your head is still mostly shoved against the surface of the couch.

“Jason! Fucking go!”

He snickers as lubes his fingers before gently working one in. How typical, even when he’s being nice, he still can’t help but be a tease. His pace is slow but thorough, working himself all the way into your heat before sliding out, only to rush back whenever you seem to get used to the sensation. 

Already being relaxed from the massage must be getting to you, because as soon as you stretch to accommodate his second finger, your breathing starts to quicken. He speeds up slightly, moving to kiss the spot between your jaw and neck, nibbling a small mark despite knowing it’s in the perfect spot to be seen.

He finally starts hitting the spot inside of you where he’s needed, and you almost yelp in relief.

“Faster,” you sigh, and gratefully, Jason listens. He quickens his pace, hitting inside of you with accuracy, and leaning on top of you now to better the angle. You can feel the planes of his chest against your back, and the warmth radiating off of him causes your face to heat up.

“Ah–” you start, and Jason is able to get it out before you can.

“You’re close?” 

This time when you nod your head, he accepts your answer and continues the same speed and intensity. He uses his other hand to grip you by the shoulder and force your head up so he can hear your gasps. Jason moves his head close to your ear again, and you can hear the smile in his voice when he whispers, “Come for me.”

You groan, naturally wanting to bury your cries into the cushions, but Jason’s grip stops you. The casual show of his strength has you thrusting back towards his fingers, and he dutifully works you through your orgasm until you’re finished.

He flips you so you don’t end up falling asleep with your airflow cut off, and under his observant gaze you finally stop trying to cover yourself up. You flash your teeth, and Jason rubs the curve of your cheek with his thumb before slipping off the couch to get a towel to clean up.

[salty-autistic-writer]

Tommy Kinard's Guide To The Best (And Worst) Places To Take A Nap

Tommy and sleep have always had a difficult relationship. 

When he was a child, he had a hard time relaxing his mind enough to fall asleep. Restless thoughts and the fact that he could also read one more page of this non-fiction book - just one more - kept him tossing and turning until his eyes burned.

As a teenager, he listened to his parents arguing, their shadows dancing in the hallway. When he drank too much, his father’s voice was like the hot sour breath of a dragon, his footsteps booming and his words sharp. 

The neighbours never intervened. They were blind and deaf. Tommy wasn’t. He listened and tried to stay awake as long as possible. At least until the dragon fell asleep. Just in case he had to help his mother. Because there was nobody else.

His time in the military taught him to cherish every possible second of sleep. He developed the talent to fall asleep anywhere, at any time and at remarkable speed. But with this special talent comes the tendency to wake up abruptly as soon as his mind decides it has to be alert.

A noise, even a smell, is enough to push his body out of sleep mode into ready-to-fight mode. That makes sleeping for several hours in a row very difficult. So he usually takes some exhaustion with him when he leaves for work in the morning.

Once he’s working, he has laser focus though, never feeling the missing hours of sleep. No. That only comes later, after the work is done.

His issues made Tommy a napper. And he’s napping a lot.

He’s not picky about where he’s taking his naps. But some places are better than others.

In the helicopter (2/10 - not enough space, leads to pain and embarrassing moment!)

Tommy yawns heartily. He’s working a shift from hell. And he’s tired. So tired that the thought of getting out of the helicopter and dragging himself to the bunk beds at the station fills him with dread. He doesn’t like the beds anyway. It’s never really quiet there. And they are too small. Well. To be fair, most places are too small for him to stretch out his legs.

Finding a comfortable position in the helicopter isn’t easy either. But he has to try. Has to close his eyes. Just … For a few minutes. Then, the alarm is probably going to go off again anyway. He sighs, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. He can already feel his mind drifting away, and his muscles are finally relaxing. At least, it’s quiet in here.

Is this smart? No. But he’s too tired to make smart choices.

Tommy already knows his neck is going to ache later. But it’s too late.

Sleep embraces him.

L aughter erupts when Tommy opens his eyes and he blinks into the sunlight, confused until his swimming vision clears and he sees Lucy in front of him. Lucy, surrounded by a few other colleagues, taking pictures with her phone and grinning in utter delight. Great. He won't ever hear the end of this.

Gr imacing, he stretches as best as he can, sore muscles burning and bones cracking in protest.

When he jumps out, his legs tingling from being immobile for so long, Lucy shows him a picture of his face pressed against the glass, drool running down to his chin, hair dishevelled. “It’s cute,” she says. “But I’m worrying about your poor old bones, Kinard. If you plan on doing more naps in the chopper, I will buy you a neck pillow.”

At a movie theatre (6/10 - comfy but embarrassing, at least Evan thought it was cute!)

Tommy loves the cinema Evan picked. 

He especially loves the seats. They are so comfy. Soft. Warm. Too soft and warm. Tommy can feel himself sinking into them, his eyes getting heavy. He tries his best to keep them open, telling himself he’s not going to fall asleep while he’s about to watch a movie with his gorgeous boyfriend who’s happily snacking popcorn, his shoulder nudging Tommy’s.

For once, they actually managed to go to the movies. Without any interruption. Without anything terrible happening. So he really should pay attention to the movie. Evan is going to want to talk about it later.

But the screen is too bright. He has to rest his eyes. Just for one little moment. He’s not going to fall asleep. He’s not.

It only takes seconds for him to drift off.

A hand on his shoulder. A kiss on the cheek. Soft laughter and warm breath tickling his skin. “Tommy. Hey, Tommy?”

Tommy hums, keeping his eyes closed. Just a little longer. He can tell it’s not even morning yet. It’s still dark outside. Huh. He wrinkles his nose in confusion. Where’s all the noise coming from? Did Evan turn on the TV?

Oh. Oh. Shit.

His eyes snap open and he winces, his hands rubbing over the slightly rough fabric of cushions, the smell of popcorn and sweet beverages reminding him of where he is right now. He fell asleep at the movie theatre. With Evan sitting beside him.

Tommy can feel his cheeks burning. “I’m so sorry,” he murmurs, wiping drool from his mouth and glancing at the screen, where a man and a woman are arguing.

“Don’t be. It was really cute. My highlight was when your head started to tilt and sank on my shoulder,” Evan says, smiling. “You also didn’t miss anything. That movie was horrible so far. I’m going to tell you what happened later.”

Tommy’s face still burns with embarrassment, but when Evan wraps his arm around him and pulls him even closer, he starts to feel better. It happens, he guesses. Especially after a long day.

In a dressing room (3/10 - not very comfy, loud, but leads to a good solution for future shopping! It's good to have someone who thinks of things you never really thought of!)

Tommy doesn’t like shopping for clothes. 

It’s not easy to find something that fits him. He also wishes people would just let him look around by himself before bombarding him with a row of questions, constantly asking if he’s doing alright. Why isn’t one “yes thank you” enough?

Once he does find something that fits and doesn’t scratch or feel too tight, he usually just tries to wear it as long as possible. But his favourite jeans tore and now he has to find a new one.

It’s nice to have Evan with him who gives him something to focus on.

“Hm. No. Let me get you that in another size,” Evan decides, looking at the pants Tommy tried on, frowning. “I’ll be back in a moment.”

“Okay,” Tommy mutters, too exhausted to really care. He sits on the bench in the dressing room and leans back with a sigh. As he waits, the warmth of the dressing room makes him increasingly drowsy. His eyes get heavy. Soon, he can’t keep them open anymore, his head falling forward as he succumbs to a slumber.

Only to jump when Evan opens the door and presents him with a new pair of jeans. “Sorry, took a while to find it. Here, I - Oh. Did you fall asleep?” “No,” Tommy says automatically. Evan raises a doubting brow.

Tommy notices he’s half lying on the bench now, quickly sitting up and wiping at his eyes. “Maybe,” he admits. “I’m tired.”

Tired of dressing and undressing. Tired of the too-bright shop lights which keep buzzing above his head. Tired of hearing the terrible nerve-wracking music in the background. Tired of seeing his tired eyes in the mirror.

Evan scans him, understanding in his eyes. “Hey, let’s just order some of those online, okay? You can try them on at home,” he suggests.

“Really?” Tommy asks, wrinkling his nose. “But what if they don’t fit?”

“We are just going to send them back,” Evan shrugs. “Come on, let’s leave and buy coffee somewhere.”

I love you , Tommy thinks, getting up happily. And wonders how far away he is from actually saying the words out loud. Feels like they are already lingering on his lips, just waiting for the right moment.

At a bookstore (7/10 - comfy, warm and with cat, but embarrassing!)

Of course, they happen to be outside on one of those rare days when it’s raining cats and dogs. All of a sudden, it pours from the velvety sky. 

They flee into a bookstore at a corner, laughing. Evan’s eyes brighten up in delight as he scans the shelves. It’s a tiny store with old hardcover books and narrow hallways. The dust-covered books are piling up everywhere, even on the window sill.

An elderly lady is the only other person in the store. She’s sitting at the counter, hidden by a heap of books. She has one in her wrinkled hands, reading, only briefly glancing up to nod at them and push her glasses up her nose.

There even is a cat. A tabby with a bushy tail, that raises as she approaches Tommy and curls around his leg with a soft meow. When Tommy pets her and looks up, Evan is already gone, looking at books. Tommy discovers a green armchair in a corner and decides to sit down for a while. The armchair is comfy and smells like oranges. Tommy sinks into the cushions, leaning his head back with a content sigh. He can hear the steady drum of the rain against the window panes. It’s making him dozy. Before he can fight the sleepiness, his eyes are already closed and distantly he thinks he can feel something soft, warm and vibrating on his legs, but then sleep reaches for him and pulls him into a quite pleasant nap.

“Tommy?”

“Hm?” Tommy perks up, blinking in confusion. “Is it time?”

“I don’t know. You fell asleep,” Evan says, amused. “And the cat immediately went to sleep on you. I took pictures.”

Tommy swallows, looking at the cat now sitting on the floor, licking its paw. “Sorry,” he says quietly, glancing at the shop owner. But she’s smiling while still reading her book. 

“No need to be sorry. It’s cute. Come on, let’s go home and take a nap together,” Evan chuckles.

In the bathtub (8/10 - warm, safe, clean and good-smelling, especially when Evan washes my hair, but it gets cold eventually!)

Tommy doesn’t know how he’s still standing. The shift seemed to last forever. His whole body is sore and aching. All he’s smelling is sweat and smoke. Every step he takes seems to add invisible extra weight he has to carry around.

“Come on, I’m going to draw you a bath,” Evan tells him.

“I have the best boyfriend in the world,” Tommy sighs, as he slowly, painstakingly peels his clothes off his body.

He hates the moment his naked body is hit by the chill of the air. Hates the first dip into the water. But once he sinks into the water and it embraces him, he groans in pleasure.

“I’m going to wash your hair, okay?” Evan says, sitting on the edge of the bathtub and pushing the sleeves of his hoodie back. “Please,” Tommy sighs, gratefully. He could feel how greasy it got with every passing hour. He leans his head back and closes his eyes, relaxing into the rhythmic movements of Evan’s fingers in his hair. Soon, he feels his mind drifting away, like a boat on the ocean. He allows it. He’s warm and safe. He can rest. Every troublesome thought and every ache disappears. Fading away as he dozes off to Evan washing his hair and the smell of his favourite shampoo.

“Tommy?” Evan asks, shaking Tommy’s shoulder gently. “You with me?”

“Huh?” Tommy opens his eyes, blinking up at the ceiling. He’s still halfway caught in the pleasantly floaty nothingness of his nap. “Hm. What?”

“Sorry, but I thought you might want to eat something,” Evan says. That’s when Tommy realises he’s lying in the bathtub, feeling boneless and … chilly. “How long have I been in here?”

“Long enough. Did you sleep well?” Evan asks, grinning.

Tommy grimaces as a shiver runs down his back and inspects his wrinkled hands. “Well, now I’m cold. But it was worth it.”

On Evan’s lap (10/10 - warm, comfy, safe. the best place to take a nap!)

It’s been a long day. It’s always a long day.

Evan takes one look at Tommy and says, “Want to order Chinese and relax on the couch today?”

“Yeah, I’d love that,” Tommy says, grateful. There was a time when he tried to hide his exhaustion and went out anyway to please his partners. But now he’s honest about how he feels and what he wants. He also doesn’t apologise for falling asleep anymore. His work is stressful and functioning can be exhausting. Being tired is nothing he has to be ashamed of.

They end up on the couch, Evan with his laptop and Tommy with his head on Evan’s lap, the rest of his body stretched out. He’s happy he can do that now. They bought a new, bigger and comfier couch a while ago.

Tommy has his eyes closed and relaxes while listening to the clicking noise of Evan typing and breathing in the familiar smell of his surroundings. Warm. Soft. Yes. This is by far his favourite place to take a nap.

He allows himself to drift off. When he comes back to himself, Evan smiles down at him. “Hey. There you are. Sounded like you were snoring the alphabet at one point.”

“Hey,” Tommy scrunches his nose. “Says the man who snores like a boar whenever he’s lying on his back.”

Evan chuckles. He clears his throat, eyes on his screen. “Did you know that neurodivergent people tend to get exhausted pretty fast? Due to the stress of sensory overload and the pressure of social situations. There’s even a word for it.”

“Yeah?” Tommy asks, raising a mildly intrigued brow.

“Yes. Autistic fatigue.”

“Hm.” Tommy shifts, frowning.

They’ve been talking about this topic for a while now. Collecting information. Finding certain things that … fit astonishingly well. It started with Evan talking to his therapist about ADHD and led to Evan going on an extensive research spree on which he found out that quite a few of the things Tommy is experiencing fit symptoms of the autism spectrum and that ADHD and autism have a lot of overlapping symptoms.  Tommy grew up during a time when children weren’t autistic, had ADHD or suffered from dyslexia. There were only two possible labels: “normal” and “weird”. At school, Tommy got the “weird” label pretty fast.

Actually, there’s been a teacher who apparently did some research and carefully addressed the possibility of autism, but Tommy’s father was fast to tell her to refrain from calling his son mentally ill. Tommy thinks the exact words Kinard Senior used were “My boy is not a nutcase.” And that was the end of it.

But now, now that he has the freedom to do research and the chance to figure some things out that have always confused him, Tommy is intrigued. 

It might be nice to know why some things are as they are.

For example: why does he hear noises no one else seems to hear? Why does he feel repulsion towards certain foods to the point that he has the urge to gag or spit them out? Why is he fidgeting so much without really noticing it? Why does he take things literally, which has led to many embarrassing moments in his life? Why does he sometimes feel like he’s following an invisible script while talking to people, and when they don’t do what he expects, the conversations become increasingly stressful? 

Or the “I’m so exhausted” thing that sometimes really hits him out of nowhere, especially when he’s outside.

“Do they also say how you can increase your energy if you experience autistic fatigue?” Tommy asks.

Evan hums. “Snacks. Vitamins. And accomodations. Like noise-cancelling in-ear headphones.”

Tommy perks up. “Noise-cancelling? That’s a thing?” He asks, surprised. He has normal headphones for his training. But they don’t cancel noise.

“Uh, yeah. They have been existing for a while now. Do you want me to order some for you?” Evan asks. “Or we can pick them together?”

“Yes,” Tommy says, fully awake now, sitting up and snuggling up against Evan, looking at the screen. “But I can’t promise I will ever take them out once I have them.”

“Well, you definitely won’t hear me snoring anymore,” Evan says, grinning and typing into the search bar.

(AO3 Link)