#the most stupid petty of rants

[annaizscribbling]

The dumbest rant I may ever post, but do you know what the notorious dress from the Wednesday Show is made from? Vote here then keep reading my dumb complaints

Have your answer? Lovely.

If you chose tulle? Congrats, you are correct. If you chose black lace, you're wrong. Don't know what tulle is? It's like the sheer stuff tutus and wedding veils are made up of

Why am I annoyed by it? Because Wednesday dresses extremely modern for the vast majority of the show. It's mostly very modern teenage clothes but in black and white. No black lace or historical inspiration to be found. There are variations of her traditional black dress with the white collar, but all in all, she doesn't feel especially vintage wardrobe wise.

Now maybe I just know slightly too much about textiles, but I know she never wears lace. Jenna Ortega did wear a teensy bit for the premier, but Wednesday herself doesn't wear black lace at all.

Somehow the internet decided otherwise. For awhile my Instagram fyp was nothing but Wednesday inspired looks that were filled with far more lace and historical inspiration, but she never wore that. I think it would have been way cooler and would have fit her better, but she didn't.

Now for the part about me ofc. I adore black lace. I have six or seven gorgeous tops made from different black laces. I love historically inspired jewelry, messy Edwardian inspired hair, and my combat boots. It's a style I've grown into over the last four years or so and I've really embraced it. Somehow the internet pavloved itself into thinking that's what Wednesday dressed like cuz I can't go anywhere without comments.

Not that I particularly dislike being compared to Wednesday, but perhaps I'm a little (a lot) salty about the fact she doesn't actually dress like me, but I can't escape the comparison anymore, especially as a Latina with dark hair. It's a style I developed on my own over a long time, and a lot of care went into it, now I'm being compared to a character that doesn't even wear lace.

End of rant, thank you

[calciferstims]

tiktokers be like “I am going to create the most beautiful, relaxing, aesthetically pleasing video ever, with gorgeous lighting, and deeply satisfying content”. …….. “and then I’m going to cut the video fifty thousand times in thirty seconds-”

[cieloclercs]

right i am absolutely RAGING why are girls so bitchy and horrible for absolutely no reason UGH

(lmao this is just me ranting about friendship stuff so feel free to ignore this or wtv i just need to vent 😭)

so basically for the past two years i’ve been really close friends with this girl, she’s been a part of my friendship group for longer than even i have and at one point i genuinely valued her as one of my best friends

but just before and over gcses she started drifting from us and claiming that we pushed her out of the friendship group 😭 when she was literally the one that started hanging out with other people (which we were absolutely fine with but girl you don’t have to scapegoat us for something that you literally did 😭)

anyway long story short, she hasn’t had the easiest time to be fair to her, but even over gcses (and when she was treating us like shit) we all tried to be there for her and give her the best advice we could when she asked for it (not that she ever took it 🫠🫠) like i literally listened to her rant for HOURS and was always there for her to listen or be a shoulder to cry on whenever she needed it

but over summer she just like stopped hanging out with us completely. she told us that she wanted to be ‘friendly’ in sixth form, and we all agreed and were still really nice to her and everything even though she literally ditched us for the dodgiest people on earth (but that’s another story lmaoo) 😭

and for a while i thought everything was ok !!! like she’s been friendly with me for the most part in sixth form, UNTIL we found out that she’s been actively trying to get with my best friend’s ex boyfriend 😭 like literally right in front of her as well, she blew us off in one of our classes to go and FLIRT WITH HIM LIKE GIRL 😭

for the most part i’ve just been letting it go because i genuinely don’t think she’s worth it BUT TODAY IN SIXTH FORM ASSEMBLY she was sat with this girl (who has literally been HORRIBLE to me in the past so i already have a bit of a vendetta for that 😭) and i was a row or two behind them

and during the assembly they both kept turning around and GIVING ME THE DIRTIEST LOOKS ON EARTH AND LAUGHING AT ME !!! LIKE WHAT

WHAT HAVE I DONE

i have done nothing, like literally out of all my friends, i’m probably the one that’s been friendliest to her since we started at sixth form 😭

so yeah i’m raging basically. but i’m also kind of sad ?? even tho she’s clearly just a horrible person she was at one point one of the most important people in my life. i put so much into that friendship, and even though i didnt get a whole lot out of it from her side, i worked SO HARD to try and be there for her whenever i could

i feel like i sound really petty and childish right now but i’m actually so mad i just needed to rant 😭 i just don’t understand what I OF ALL PEOPLE have done for her to act like this to me ?? it just feels so unfair that i try my hardest to be as nice as i can to EVERYONE (even if i don’t particularly like them as a person) and then i just get ridiculed for it ?? make it make sense 😭

[xinganhao]

🥈 svt vs. reader's bad boyfriend.

anon → "could you do a post with one of the members getting after yn's bf because he thinks he's not treating her well enough?"

⌗ ┆i have a terrible feeling i might've misunderstood this req,, so please forgive me if i did lol ꒰ ꒡⌓꒡꒱

‧₊˚✩彡 includes: reader has a bad boyfriend, hurt/comfort, [light] angst, crack, cussing, [short] headcanons under the cut.

🥈 headcanons .ᐟ

— "break up with him now" ✩ junhui, soonyoung, wonwoo, minghao, vernon.

ah, yes. the trope of someone who will immediately insist that breaking up is the solution, although, in this case, it's completely warranted. soonyoung and minghao are the most vocal about you ending your relationship, but in their own little ways. for his part, soonyoung's a little annoying about it— you'll barely have explained your current predicament and he's already whining, "just break things off with him!" minghao, meanwhile, actually listens, but his expressions and consequent advice are brutal. he's always been no-bullshit when it comes to life, and so when he hears about all the things your boyfriend is doing/has done? he's actively advocating for you to get up and go. junhui's the type to take it out on your boyfriend. he's constantly threatening bodily harm and various other minor crimes against the poor guy, even though he doesn't really ever act on it. he is extra cold when he's in the other man's presence, to the point that your boyfriend may be under the impression that junhui hates him. (spoiler alert! jun does!) wonwoo isn't always vocal about his distaste; he's a little more backhanded/passive-aggressive about it. he's more of an actions guy, through and through. picking up the slack here and there to show you that your boyfriend is a dick for not doing things that your friends can. vernon also struggles a bit to get the right words out, so he just... says it as it is. he may look like he's packaging his advice as a joke, but he's 100% sincere when he sends you breakup playlists and reddit threads about ending things with your significant other. that's just his way of communicating it, really.

— "but are you okay?" ✩ seungcheol, joshua, mingyu, jihoon, seokmin, seungkwan.

for the most part, all the boys are the 'just-end-your-relationship-please' type, but there's also some who rely more on expression of concern. take mingyu, for example, whose chief endeavor will be to cheer you up. he'll leave sweet nothings and encouraging notes in hopes of lifting your mood; his eyes, constantly peeled to see how you're faring. you can rant in to the wee hours of the morning, and both seungkwan and joshua will listen. they'll let you tell the same old stories again and again; even if they half-joke that you just never listen to them, they're still there as a shoulder to cry on. seungkwan is more likely to give advice, while joshua's strength lies in non-judgmental indulgence. seokmin will make it his life's mission to distract you from the issue at hand. a movie night? a trip to an obscure café? if it will improve your mood in any way, shape, or form, he's already halfway there. he won't even mention your boyfriend, if you don't bring him up. seungcheol is similar to mingyu in the sense that he best expresses his concern through little encouraging gifts. he's not the type to push the envelope, to try and get you to talk when/if you're not ready, so he just communicates to you that he's there, when/if you need him. jihoon's also a bit unsure how to navigate a relationship that's not his. he can pick up how you're feeling, at the very least, and so he instead focuses on that. he's a quiet, steadfast presence who will take you to the gym or encourage you to write songs, if only because he thinks those might be potential solutions.

— "play stupid games, win stupid prizes" ✩ jeonghan, chan.

svt's petty line, how i love you so. they can all admittedly be petty when they want to be, but these two? they take the cake. jeonghan is a big believer in "show him what he's missing." he'll snap hot photos of you on your behalf. he'll let you use him as a nice little ploy to incite some jealousy. is it a little toxic, a bit red flag-y? sure, but that asshole is putting you through much worse. jeonghan's a firm believer that revenge is a dish best served cold, and he's cold to the bone when it comes to making sure you get what you deserve. (and that your boyfriend, too, has what's coming for him.) chan is insistent that you should break up with your boyfriend, of course, but he's a big believer that you should go out with a bang. it's a bit amusing, to see one of the group's more lowkey members insist that your boyfriend should be on the receiving end of a public lashing. some might say he just likes the drama. truthfully, he just wants to make it abundantly clear to everyone that you're not someone to be messed with, and that you're not going to settle for anything less now that you've kicked the devil's incarnate to the curb.

[leandra-kinard]

Petty, bitter rant ahead. Maybe not 100% fair (but also not completely inaccurate, imho)

I LOVE how us BT shippers are handling this all (this is not the petty part). And it makes me once more feel kind of smugly proud, especially on contrast to what the BoBs have been doing for the past half year.

What did/do the BoBs do when they are dissatisfied with the storyline? Repetitive, ridiculous, mantra-like one-liners ("Bummy bones!", "Jumpscare!"), insults towards the cast and the characters ("He's ugly").

And when they try to engage with the media a bit more deeply, it's inane babblings about fridge magnets and tinhatting about "Buddie canon, confirmed!" at every turn. It's very reductive, very much crafting a reality around the single-issue point they need to confirm - which kind of nicely fits how the writing of the show itself is reductive and crafts the plot around a few points Tim wants to include, whether it makes sense in a grand scheme or not (it doesn't!).

Us on the other hand?

Some expression of our frustration and disappointment, even sadness, yes. But all of it based on and backed up with actual facts from the narrative itself, or what it technically should have demanded for but didn't follow up with. Instead of throwing tamper tantrums like the worst-behaved toddlers you remember from kindergarten, we have written well-worded criticisms, even essays and analyses on official and unofficial channels.

And while, yes, we need to express our disappointment, our anger and our hurt, most of us are doing something the BoBs were never ready to: we'll stop watching. (Or watch sometime later, more casually, and once we know where the stories are heading). We're not going to posts by Buddie shippers, harassing them over how stupid they are, how ugly and shitty their ship is.

We truly are the smarter, wiser ones, and I think we were too smart and wise for this stupid (and often very lazily, carelessly written) show.

Let the BoBs have this shitshow. We'll have fanon.

[samwchs]

okay so I'm gonna go on a little rant here, Sam is way nicer than Dean is, he always saw the good in people and always wanted to do good, so why was Sam made out to be the villain?

In this fandom, many people hate Sam for stupid reasons and try to vilify him. "oh, but Sam let Lucifer out the cage-" because he was manipulated into doing so, and Dean also broke the first seal so BOTH of them were at fault, don't just blame Sam. "He didn't look for Dean when he went to purgatory" because he thought Dean was dead, and he also didn't know WHERE to look so what was he supposed to do?

I'm sure Dean told Sam NOT to look for him if anything happened, Sam just did what Dean asked and suddenly everyone is mad at him? Sam antis are so fucking petty and hypocritical it's insane and they won't even listen to your arguments, it's like talking to a brick wall.

The fact most of the Sam antis are Dean stans is hilarious because Dean would absolutely DESPISE them, we all know he doesn't play when it comes to Sam.

In conclusion, Sam antis are fucking delusional by trying to always paint Sam as the "bad guy" when he is NOT and will NEVER be a villain. They can go cry about it idc.

fyi if you hate Sam and you come across this post, Just scroll because Sam antis aren't welcome here ty!

[kittydragondraws]

This Fandom is Weirdly Misogynistic and Ableist

Yeah great title there bud.

So originally this was going to be a half-baked rant about how people disrespect V, but the more I brainstormed that I came to realize. This fandom in general has a problem with misogyny and even ableism towards not just V, but Uzi as well. Heck, I would almost say Uzi moreso.

When it comes to personality butchering, I'd say V gets it worse. The number of times I've seen people make her sound like some petty, vengeful ex makes me want to rip my laptop screen off its hinges.

And most of the reason they do this, episode 4.

When Uzi and V are together in the cabin, V tells Uzi that it's better to stay distant because she'll have to kill Uzi next. Afterwards saying that N's made friends with rocks before, and that he'd move on from her death just fine.

Now, I honestly love this scene. It's a moment where Uzi and V get to be together and V gets to show her true colors without having to hide them from N. She expresses her desire to kill Uzi, because she believes it'll keep N safe, and tells her about the rock friends to make her feel like she's just some cheap novelty to N. This scene is great.

Yet apparently, some people looked at this scene and saw it as V being jealous of Uzi's relationship with N and wanting to kill her over it.

Now I just have to ask... why. This scene is so easy to understand when you just sit and think about it, so why did so many people default to it being a ship thing?

Maybe because she's just a pantless whore who exists just for people to thirst over. At least, that's what Reddit bros and Discord trolls would have you believe.

Now, I do feel it's a bit stupid to look at an unpopular female character and say "well you'd like her if they were a guy", but with V I have a feeling that's exactly the case.

V's not fan service, she's not a hoe or some crazy ex. She's just trying to keep herself from losing one of the few sane constants in her crazy, messed-up life.

But of course, she can't be an intelligent or deep character, she's just a petty woman upset at Uzi for stealing her man and who needs to put on some pants.

Now Uzi, I'd have to say her treatment is worse. Not just because it's the same sexist bullshit V has to put up with, but because she's neurodivergent.

Okay, that was a lie, she's not canonically neurodivergent. But she does have a lot of traits of a neurodivergent person. Being a social outcast, thought of as weird because of her interests and behavior.

Most people who headcanon Uzi as neurodivergent seem to agree that she could have autism, ADHD, or BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), and I just wanna talk a bit more about her unofficial BPD diagnosis because I think that's the most fascinating out of the three.

In this image I highlighted some symptoms that feel very similar to personality traits Uzi has. Like, it's so similar it almost feels weird to say Uzi having BPD isn't canon.

Now I know what you're going to say, "But Kitty this is just people's headcanons."

And you know what? Fair honestly. But even if Uzi doesn't have autism, ADHD, or BPD, she almost definitely has some form of trauma and you'd be hard-pressed to try to argue with me she's neurotypical.

Uzi's not a pick me, she's a traumatized, possibly neurodivergent, girl trying to hold onto the first friend she's ever made.

Or hey? Maybe she should just suck it up and learn to take care of herself.

Honestly, this post is just a TLDR version of this.

[forsetti]

On Calls For Pres. Biden To Step Aside: Know The Players And Motives Tossing aside one of the most progressive presidents in fifty years because you are afraid they might not win an election is just plain stupid without a really, really, really solid backup plan. It is even stupider if you look at who is pushing for him to step aside and their motives. Here are the main groups calling for Pres. Biden to step away from running against Trump in November and why:

1-Republicans. Republicans know Biden is the biggest threat to them getting back the White House and enacting their batshit crazy policy agenda. They want nothing more than to not run against Pres. Biden because not only does he have the track record of beating Trump before but has an amazing economic record to run on. If you ever want to understand who Republicans view as their political threat, all you have to do is look at who they are attacking. They were going after Hillary for three years prior to 2016. The entire Benghazi witch hunt had no other purpose than to damage her electorally. Every single hearing about Hunter Biden, the border, the Biden Crime Family,… is nothing more than dog and pony hearings to dampen Democratic and Independent voter enthusiasm.

2-The Media. Trump’s non-stop crazy train administration was a goldmine for media outlets. Every day there was a new outrage, wild-ass rant, something that brought eyes to screens which translates to selling ad time/space. The Biden administration is efficient and boring. No scandals, except the ones Republicans gin up that turn up nothing. No rants. No chaos. No real controversy. Just plain old boring governance which is great for the country but bad for a business model that relies on shock, drama, and negativity. “Dems in disarray,” has been a media cottage industry since Bill Clinton was in office. If you don’t understand the financial motivation for why the media constantly derides Democrats for the slightest misstep while ignoring Republican malfeasance, you are probably likely to fall for their own brand of political propaganda.

It should tell you something that major news outlets have come out demanding Pres. Biden step aside for not looking good on camera during one ninety-minute debate but not a single one has asked the same of the candidate who was found guilty of sexual assault, found guilty of thirty-four felony charges, misspeaks dozens of times at every rally, and goes off on wild, illogical, batshit crazy tangents, and is tied to child sexual abuse via Jeffery Epstein. That they are not treating Trump with the same non-stop demands to step aside as they are Pres. Biden should tell you something about their motives.

3-Bad Foreign Actors. Russia wants nothing more than for Biden to lose the election. He is their biggest threat to taking over Ukraine and pushing their influence farther into Western Europe. NATO is stronger now and has more members than at any time in its history. This is the last thing Putin wants. Russia has been actively pushing propaganda online to influence U.S. elections for some time but really have ramped it up the past few election cycles.

Russia targets Republicans by fueling rage over culture war topics like abortion, immigration, racial violence, and the decline of Western, Christian norms. They also target liberals by trying to divide them over issues they care about Israel/Palestine, LGBTQI rights, Bernie vs Clinton, Bernie v Biden, DNC v “real progressives,”… They want liberals at each other’s throats because, if unified, the left is the largest voting bloc in America. Conservatives are electoral dinosaurs but they maintain power through gerrymandering, voter suppression, and liberals being more invested in their petty arguments than voting Republicans out of office.

4-Sandernistas. There is still a good-sized faction of people on the left who are still upset about Bernie Sanders not being the nominee in 2016 or in 2020. They are especially mad at what they deem as “establishment Dems,” screwing over Sanders in 2020 starting with the South Carolina primary. What they really are upset about is black voters, predominately female black voters, denying their White Progressive Savior his rightful spot at the head of the ticket. Because Pres. Biden was the one who benefited from this minority voting bloc in 2020, tearing him down and taking him out is a passion project for a lot of so-called “progressives.”

These “progressives,” are under the disillusion that if the Democratic Party fails far enough, hard enough, they will be able rebuild it in their own, perfectly progressive image. They never explain how this magical transformation will happen, they just take it as a matter of faith. Of course, anyone who understands American history and basic civics knows if/when conservatives have ultimate power, they will make sure they never lose another election.

These “progressives,” are the worst kind of progressive. They are often white, middle to upper-class liberals who view politics as a game because they are usually shielded from the consequences of the electoral decisions. If you are a middle/upper-class white, male progressive, very few, if any of Trump’s actions when he was in office affected you directly. The same cannot be said about the progressive voters who overwhelmingly supported Hillary in 2016 and Joe in 2020. They have the most skin in the game, have the most to lose and they vote accordingly. For white dudebros to step in and demand Pres. Biden step aside is a direct “fuck you” to the most loyal part of the base which has the most to lose if Trump is reelected.

Never mind this group has NEVER accomplished a damn thing politically other than cost many good Democrats to lose and decades and decades of progressive policy and law wiped out. They are as adamant about their political skills as they are it is always someone else’s fault when the find-out portion of their fuck around actions comes to fruition.

5-Progressives suffering from 2016 PTSD. This is the one group I can actually relate to and sympathize with. Hillary's loss in 2016 was a major shock to a lot of people. This shock was compounded because not only were we denied the first female president, but we got a lying, narcissistic, misogynist man-child in her place who went about rolling back decades of hard-earned progressive policies and turning the Supreme Court into a right-wing arm of the Federalist Society.

For those of us who lived through 2016, there is no election data that will make us feel good or at ease. It also makes us hyper-vigilant about anything and everything that can be seen as a negative towards the nominee. The second anything bad happens, whether factual or not, a lot of people in this group take the flight instead of the fight option which is associated with PTSD.

Being overly anxious and hyper-vigilant are not necessarily bad unless they lead to bad decisions.

There is only one sure way to make sure Trump is not reelected. Vote for the candidate running against him. Period. Full fucking stop.

If you aren’t willing to do this, for whatever reason you tell yourself, then you will be directly responsible for the very thing you claim is a politically existential moment. Stop listening and parroting Republican talking points. Stop allowing the media to determine who you should vote for. Stop listening to butt-hurt progressives who have no record of political success about what those who do should/shouldn’t do. Stop acting like frightened little bunnies whenever someone says something negative about successful Democratic leaders. Stop automatically going into flight mode when something goes wrong or something negative is said. Fight.

If you aren’t willing to fight, and I’m not talking about inter-party fighting (that time came and went,) for women’s rights, minority rights, safe air/water/food, climate policies, democracy… then you really aren’t as progressive as you tell yourself and others. You are a big reason why we are even in this situation. Whether you like Pres. Biden or think he is too old really isn’t the pertinent issue if you really care about the things you say you do. As long as Pres. Biden is willing to fight like hell for progressive policies and prevent Republicans from turning the country into a white supremacist, misogynist, oligarchy, you should be doing the same.

I don’t know what is going to happen between now and election day. Neither does anyone else. The one thing I am 100% positive about is if Trump does win, the people on the left who have spent the majority of their time and energy railing against the Democratic Party and Pres. Biden will blame anyone and everyone other than themselves. If Pres. Biden wins reelection, these same people will claim their childish hissy fits are what led him to “change course,” enabling him to win. Their view of personal responsibility for election outcomes is some fucked up “No True Scotsman,” bullshit. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING ever counts against their political beliefs and views.

I know some people reading this will wonder why I spend so much time and energy railing against the left. The answer is really simple-I fully expect the people on the right to be bad-faith actors who are hell-bent on destroying any and all progressive policies and candidates. I don’t, and shouldn’t expect the same from people who claim to be political allies. You can't claim to be a member of Team Good™ if your behaviors and actions help Team Bad™.

[rocketinthesky]

I’ve been thinking a lot about why a lot of people are starting to hate Lando sm and while i do think part of it does have to do with him just performing good and having a championship winning car, the other part might just be because he’s “changed” and he’s had a few “immature” moments so to speak. Like people are largely unhappy with his petty comments with Lewis in the cool down room (which yes as a lover of the norris boy i agree lashing out was childish and unnecessary), how he acted about Oscar’s first win (which to an extent ik why people are upset at Lando’s behaviour but…i can sympathise with both sides and can’t dislike him for that because it was a painful and complicated situation), and most recently his “cocky” comment after winning the dutch gp where he repeated Max’s signature line or wtv (which i myself didn’t see much issue with since they’re friends and Max himself didn’t show any significant emotion towards either).

A lot of it boils down to people calling Lando arrogant and perhaps him not “delivering” enough to be that arrogant and my opinion on that is: firstly) the whole SPORT is built on arrogance lol every single driver on the grid is competitive, arrogant, and so pumped full of adrenaline and rage that they say and do a lot of stupid shit when high on the emotions from a race. Literally every driver ever, from the grid now and from the past, has been far from perfect. Think Seb, the grid’s father even after retirement, hailed the nicest most genuine driver ever. Ya think he hasn’t had his cocky, fucked up moments? My mans was a MENACE in his prime. Yall need to stop wearing rose-tinted glasses for your favs lol. Max, who’s gotten into many childish altercations after races, like the infamous moment with Ocon and even last year with George. But no one criticizes Max to that degree (disclaimer: i don’t dislike any of the drivers i’m using as examples. I am a lover of all but that also means i criticize fairly). It’s fucked up to say you excuse certain behavior from someone just because they’re winning more or a better driver in your opinion. Very very fucked up to call someone who’s open about the mental struggles of being a racer “weak”. Lando’s far from perfect but so is every other driver on the grid.

They’re all human, they’re all clinically insane because only a crazy person would live their life riding at that speed for the thrill of it. They’re all heavily flawed, they’re all emotional beings. They have their moments of pettiness, aggression, immaturity, arrogance. This isn’t just in defense of Lando but of every driver on the grid. Stop putting them on a pedestal of unrealistic standards. They’re fuckin F1 drivers, some of the most fucked up (said fondly) species of human. And stop being hypocrites. It’s okay to criticize them, rather we should criticize them. I was and still am very vocal about how unnecessary Oscar’s recent comments about Stroll was, but it’s something i also won’t dwell on because it’s just part of the sport lol. I won’t hesitate to criticize any of them, even my favs, because that’s the healthy way to be a fan of someone. But mindlessly hating someone is so stupid. I mean ig u do u but if you’re gonna hate over dumb shit just be ready to get backlash over it lol

Anyways idk if this rant even made any sense.

Tl;dr - Lando’s shown some immature/“unlikeable” emotions like a normal human being and now everyone hates him for it despite ignoring the same behaviour from their favs. Lmfao. Peace out. Stay sane🫡

[amaryllis-sagitta]

The writing the writing I need to rant about the writing

The issue with companion quests and rendezvous is that they're, to a great extent, conversational, with some very basic mechanical filler to give player the illusion that they're doing something. So the brunt of character development falls to conversations we have with them. This wouldn't be the problem if conversations themselves weren't sooo all over the place.

I wrote before that the beginning suffers from severe first draft syndrome and most conversations could have been singular lines. Early exchanges between Neve & Harding are just fluff, and taking note of their differences could have been a single line. It... gets a little better in Act 2, but it's still padded with generic conversation fillers and painfully repetitive about the only points that matter. I swear I've had so many conversations where the same expository sentence was said to me twice or thrice about 2 paragraphs apart.

It's like they want to say something, they are able to pepper in some genuinely touching moments, but then the dialogue wheel minces it all into the blandest mix of responses you've ever seen, or it unnecessarily polarizes issues that already have buildup into simplistic choices. Examples: we encourage Taash to embrace a syncretic, multicultural identity and BAM! A CHOICE APPEARS LATER that further polarizes it in a way that's totally uncalled for. We build Harding up to overcome her fawning tendencies, to embrace her anger and to let herself feel justified in it so she can handle the bond with the Stone, or we can make her feel weird and unaccepted with her new abilities - and BAM! CHOICE because what would we do without reminding survivors that compassion and forgiveness are the socially expectable ways to go? I fear Emmrich is going to feel the same, after lichdom is built up as the pinnacle of his expertise and his greatest dream, only thwarted by the terrifying risk of him permadying in the ritual (because the risk of corruption of character, like it happened to Johanna, is quickly dismissed as something OOC for Emmrich). Choices that pop up in the middle of otherwise fairly linear arcs feel manufactured.

I thought I would begrudge UI explaining to me what my choices mean, but I started to need it at times, becuse the dialogue options by themselves fail to inform me what I'm about to do half the time. I'm in romance with Neve but the only input Rook has ever given in the Flirty options was "We have problems... but we are not alone..." I have genuinely no idea what the dynamic between characters is there. According to the Character tag line, Neve has "fallen unexpectedly".

Maybe it's because Rook feels completely disjointed from whatever is happening to them. The Zara/ Illario twist almost makes them stupid on purpose because the plot can't advance yet. My Shadow Rook had nothing to add when Zara almost uttered "amatus" once before Illario choked her, no, that exposition had to happen on Emmrich's dissection table.

I also don't understand this game's urge to summarize everything for the player after the proper conversation -- not just in the UI, not in the mission quest summaries, but also in the final cutscenes in Lighthouse after most our rendezvous. These are always the most awkward, low effort reiteration of the conversation that was held minutes ago. I feel like this was supposed to be the space to form some logical conclusions, but all they do is revert whatever poignant points have been made before to very superficial takes on the problem.

I also roll my eyes on the later Lighthouse "quests" where Rook is the HR department for companions' petty grievances that can be solved by minor communication adjustments. Only the Davrin/ Lucanis conflict feels like it has any meat because it involves ambitions tied to the main quest. Taash calling the old man Skullfucker is funny but it boils down to both parties needing to be better listeners. And why would Harding and Emmrich plan a trip to Ferelden that is being consumed and ravaged by the Blight to end all Blights in real time??? Did no-one proofread this???

My point is, I wouldn't be mad if companions were generally agreeable. I love hanging out with the girlies and nonbinaries because they get along so well. The banter heard throughout the map traversal is so, so, SO much better in this regard. It's structured like relational mini-arcs that feel really satisfying to witness. The Lighthouse mini-conflicts feel manufactured in comparison.

It's like the moments that matter occasionally poke their heads above a nondescript sea of grey goo and get dragged right back down by the ugly, eldritch tentacles of filler and redundancy.

It really, really, REALLY does not defeat the allegations that some points game wanted to make through that writing were explicitly prompted as a guideline... while everything else was left to a complex form of algorithm... that combines random generation... with imitation of holistically preserved states... of complex statistical operations... done on pre-collected source material...

[hornyhermitry]

These are not the Zenins you’re looking for - Naobito & Naoya ramblings and then some

Since there’s no real alternative for longer rants with a personal flavour, let’s give this a shot here on tumblr I guess? Heh.

Preface

General Naobito facts:

71 years → born in 1946, died 2018

Curse Technique: Projection Sorcery

Special Grade 1 Sorcerer

One younger brother - Ogi Zenin

Probably one older brother - unnamed, father of Toji Zenin

(I assume Ogi is younger because they are clearly not twins from the way they look, Ogi looks younger and Ogi’s children Maki & Mai are ca. 10 years younger than Naobito’s son Naoya).

Three sons - youngest son Naoya (27 years in 2018 - born when Naobito was 44)

Fastest Jujucist (except for Gojo Satoru)

Both Naobito & Naoya are names that translate to honesty & straightforwardness. Naobito’s further includes a meaning of “helpful/support”

Hobby: Anime

Favorite food: Sake

Least favorite food: Fishcake

Observations & conclusions from his manga scenes:

Confident, determined, affirmative, tactical (ref. Dagon fight + Jogo appearance right before the burn, doesn’t mind losing an arm, thinks ahead of Toji going for Dagon and jumps in to distract in support)

Cocky & playful, enjoys fighting (often grinning, excited to see Dagon evolve, taunts Nanami “Two 1st grades cannot exorcise (Dagon)?”)

Petty (annoyed by everyone fixated on 4K 60FPS and stupid numbers, retorts to Maki wanting to take Clan Lead)

He was drinking and did not care about Maki leaving the clan. There was no mockery and no attempt to stop her. Only when she said she’d become the next clan head, he asked if he should make her life harder.

He showed up to Shibuya to help out the rest (Maki mocks his drinking habits, with cans next to him he shouts over to her to bring him drinks, but later he nonchalantly breathes into Nanami’s face and we see he actually has not been drinking) and is excited to hear Gojo has been sealed, wants to celebrate.

Maki antagonizes him uncalled for, a bait he does not take but tells her matter of factly she should be the one to go home, to which Nanami agrees.

Assumption based on minor clues

Clan head since the 80s or 90s — depending on circumstances.

→ 2018-1185 (Zenin at the very least date back to Heian times) = 833 years with 26 Zenin clan heads= average leadership of 32 years = his latest “starting date” would have been 1999.

IMO it is very likely he took over earlier than that, because as far as averages go, it usually is way longer spans that are interspersed with very short ones.

(see: “medieval life expectancy was just 31” which did not have most people die at 31 but caused by a high infant mortality seeking the average - you either died as a kid or lived into your 60s).

I think he took over in the mid to late 80s because that sets up the unfortunate situation his family line had to deal with.

On a factual level it’s also not unlikely, because the first half of the 20th century was a chaotic time all around the globe, full of societal shifts and political conflicts that may have potentially led to Naobito’s father/Naoya’s grandfather dying “early”.

Anyway. I present to you:

THE LIFE & TIMES OF NAOBITO ZENIN aka HOLY HEADCANON

The historical context is what makes Naobito so interesting to me and further supports my personal controversial headcanon that:

Naobito & Naoya Zenin are NOT the major players in the, let’s call it “traditional Zenin camp” that exiled Toji and used all kinds of shady internal clan politics to keep power systems up.

Let me take you on a very exhaustive detour on what Naobito being 71 years old in 2018 translates to.

He was born at the brink of World War II and in the wake of the atomic bomb.

During his lifespan, Japan went from a humbled country on its knees to a major player in the global economy, driving technological advancements. During his youth, Japan’s patriotism loosened and a lot of American culture was adapted - the yankii subculture rose to prominence.

JJK readers were told that the Heian era was the peak of jujucists. IRL historically, it was a time famous for many violent conflicts and natural disasters.

Since JJK establishes negative emotions breed curses and cursed energy, this means Naobito‘s young years must have been infested with stronger curses than ever, spawned from the aftermath, suffering, resentment and personal tragedies of WWII, Hiroshima & Nagasaki.

Born in 1946 within months of arguably the worst moment of Japanese history, emerging with a new technique utilising modern animation processes, his potential power upon birth likely matched the new level of curse threats, enabling him to eventually become the fastest Jujucist alive with the use of his modern technique. Growing up in a strongly American-influenced Japan in a rapidly changing world, he was a completely different person than his father (who had seen multiple wars but no massive technological and social progress yet) likely was.

Being the middle child, his father was likely 25-45 years older than him (men back then often fathered their first child between 19 & 23, so I assume he fathered his middle child at 25+), therefore born between 1921 and 1900. This makes him very likely a very hardline conservative patriot who took great pride in the battles he fought in - either during WWI or WWII or even both. A man raised in the spirit of a proud nationalist Japan at the peak of its expansionist mindset across Asia, high in spirits from the successful war against Russia and winning military campaigns in China, Singapore and more East Asian territories. Japan during Naobito’s father’s youth wore uniforms and kimonos.

Whereas Naobito’s social upbringing (outside of his father’s direct influence) was shaped by a more globalist approach and culture, appeasing to the West and showing e.g. through the Olympics of 1964 what a modern country they had become. So when Naobito was 18, Tokyo modernised its post-war infrastructure and built both the Metro as well as the Shinkansen connecting Tokyo and Osaka which kicked off the economic growth in a global spotlight and highlighted how well Japan had rebuilt itself after the defeat 20 years ago. Japan during Naobito’s youth wore slacks, jeans and white shirts. He is old in 2018, but he is a "modern man" in comparison to what came before and he is accustomed to change and progress.

Due to this clash of ideals and lived realities in the world around them, I think Naobito and his father had a very rocky relationship once Naobito entered puberty (and listened to jazz, blues, rock and dressed in blue jeans and leather jackets) and that they had some fundamentally different views on things.

The realities of external life could not have been more different between Naobito’s father and Naobito. Whether it was the world around them or the eventual standing of their clan, Naobito was dealt a very different hand of cards than a very very long line of Zenins in previous generations had been dealt for many centuries.

Due to going up against a man with so much pride and confidence when emancipating himself as his own person, I believe Naobito grew a strong backbone and was a very genuine, upright person - within the limits of his time and upbringing. Much more progressive and less patriotic than his father in any case, which surely was a source of conflict. Yet, I suspect that succeeding in spite of his father’s disapproval is what fueled him to become a more capable and autonomous person than his brothers are and to show that an allegedly inferior curse technique will not hold him back. But Naobito and his father did not only clash about this. In the later Hakari introduction chapter, JJK establishes there are several political factions and some are in favor of traditional millenia old curse techniques like Megumi's 10 Shadows or Gojo's Six Eyes and shun new curse techniques like Projection Sorcery and Idle Gambling that only emerged with new technology. Since sorcerer grades are based on Jujutsu strength and such, people with a modern curse technique are clowned on and not properly being recognized - which applies to both Naobito and Naoya.

The realities of life for Naobito and Naoya are very similar and Naoya’s life is dealing with similar challenges as his father’s. Unlike his father, Naobito was confronted with the reality of established values, routines and social hierarchies becoming horribly moot and due to his own curse technique not being a prestigious one, he was forced to reevaluate the legitimacy of what his father had taught him and what old clans perpetuated. Both in light of the changing world and also his own value as a person and a jujucist. Naoya was confronted with a similar road to growth and reevaluating the classic Jujutsu society & clan values, also having received the same modern technique as his father and witnessing the new kind of strength Toji wielded.

While I do say that Naobito is a different man than his father, I am a firm believer that “the apple does not fall far from the tree” and very much see the likeness between Naobito and Naoya. I feel I should clarify this applies more to personality traits than opinions and I think all three of them are more straightforward and more blunt than the other family lines.

The people readers are told to be suffering by the Zenin family’s actions and opinions are Maki and Toji.

Both of which are not Naobito’s children. They are children of Naobito’s older and younger brothers.

Naobito’s unknown older brother exiles Toji due to him being resented and seen useless by the majority of the clan for not having techniques or energy, Naobito’s younger brother Ogi and his wife raise Maki & Mai in a cruel way, on top of that Ogi is shown to secretly plot behind people’s backs and be involved (with e.g. Jinichi) in inner-clan intrigues and betrayal. Funny enough, Toji himself is shown to be as much of a schemer (as seen through his bounty plan) and backstabber (pun intended) in line with his upbringing.

Naoya & Naobito on the other hand speak their mind openly, announce their gripes and do what they want. Naoya and Naobito are not schemers, they very much are -in accordance with their names - straightforward.

Naoya is many things, but he is not a liar.

Both Naoya and Nabito are eccentrics with a very flashy style that does not conform to plain traditions:

Naoya with his piercings and dyed hair (I’ve previously mentioned his white hakama being unusual for men, which still holds true, but it is not uncommon for high rank swordsmen to wear white ones, so I have now come to conclude these indicate his rank as Chief of the Hei) and Naobito, as an old man, sporting this over the top moustache.

There is an idiom about Japanese society that the nail who sticks out gets hammered down. Both Naoya and Naobito are doing everything to stand out and refuse to fall in line with unreflected traditional actions.

Both have not inherited the Ten Shadows technique but Projection Sorcery - as a result, both are on their own side which aligns more with the reformer side (that contains other Jujucists such as Hakari & Kirara who also have modern techniques), than the conventional conservatives (such as the higher ups or the Kamos. On that note, take a moment to reflect on the implications of Maki and Mai wearing modern school uniforms while Kamo Junior wears a uniform that much more resembles traditional clan attire: The Kamos are as conservative as the Zenins and probably more so than Naobito).

Both Naobito and Naoya are denied their perceived birthright purely by the unfortunate existence of Gojo Satoru and his Six Eyes, and Megumi having the 10 Shadows Technique, for the first time in hundreds of years denying the Zenin’s claim to fame.

Since Gojo was born 1989, I personally like to imagine Naobito tasted clan leadership as “the strongest” (and, in his case, fastest) for at least a few years before the one to change the world’s balance was born - simultaneously stealing Naobito’s position at the peak of the Jujutsu world and also denying that of his at that point two sons. Toji was already past the point of manifesting a cursed technique and therefore all existing “sons” of the Zenin family were ruled out to take their clan’s glory back from Gojo Satoru.

So Naobito tried and succeeded in having another son - I believe this is why Naoya was fathered by him as late as at 44 years. All hopes to restore the waning Zenin power were now on this little boy growing up. Would he be the one to manifest 10 Shadows and make the Zenin a worthy competitor to the Gojo clan again?

No.

Naobito, at this point already several years into watching his clan’s decline, lost the last bit of hope to restore its glory by traditional means and standards when his son manifested his very own curse technique: Projection Sorcery. Personally, I believe that your curse technique is heavily related to your personality - or call it soul if you like - and both Naobito and Naoya having the same technique reflects their similarity in character.

So Naobito raised Naoya to try and surpass the competing Gojo Six Eyes boy even without inheriting the jackpot technique.

While I do believe that Naoya was pampered by servants and women growing up, being the son of the Clan Lead and future Zenin heir in a long line of proud Jujucists, I also coin Naobito as one to give tough love, and demand a lot and would assume Ogi resented him because he would remind him of his own lack of potential, lack of power and lack of future.

On the topic of Ogi:

He is a weak, bitter man who holds resentment for everyone around him and blames everyone but himself for his shortcomings.

Being the youngest brother, his upbringing was different from Naobito‘s and I imagine that especially after witnessing his father and older brother argue and clash, he tried to suck up to his father by being a yesman to all his views and often tried to throw his older brothers under the bus and snitch about his activities.

He has always been a miserable rat with no backbone, hoping for another authority figure to spoonfeed him power.

He never learned that power is not given but taken and failed to take ownership for his life and actions right until his death.

Toji‘s father/Naobito‘s older brother:

I have little thoughts about Toji‘s father/Naobito‘s older brother, but I think he also clashed with his father and (this is super out there) maybe refused to take responsibility despite being the firstborn son and had no interest in leading the clan. I think he was on good terms with Naobito either way and I can see the two of them in their late teens/early 20s out in town, wearing jeans, pomade in their hair, smoking, flirting and riding around on motorbikes with Ogi nagging on the backseat how irresponsible, shameful and reckless they are while they tell the miserable virgin to shut up and learn to be a man.

(In fact, this is the Zenin backstory I want to read and write about, hahaha).

I consider it possible Ogi remained unmarried/a virgin for most his life and only decided to marry a few years after Naobito‘s youngest son Naoya had also failed to manifest Ten Shadows, in a last ill-guided attempt to steal his brother‘s superiority by fathering a child with the golden curse technique. Unfortunately Maki and Mai did not get it either and, to add insult to injury, were girls. Ogi must have been seething about his unlikely decision to marry after all. Possibly he was talked into it by others in the Zenin clan who did not hold Naobito and his ways and his son Naoya in high regard - considering them too unruly and progressive, affirming their future support to Ogi‘s line if he ever takes action.

Either way, I think Ogi and Naobito (and Naoya) are on bad terms and Ogi is a weak rat that deserves to be stepped on by greater people.

Most readers sympathise with Maki and Megumi and their goals and views because that‘s the lense through which we see the story, but take a step back to think about the legitimacy of it for a moment.

Maki leaving the clan is fair, but why would she (or unwilling Megumi) be suitable candidates for leading what‘s essentially a business with lives and salaries and adult people in national positions of power and military units? The thought of it is absurd. It‘s only natural for Naoya, who was raised into this responsibility from a young age, to be outraged over a noname teenager stealing his legacy from him the moment he was supposed to get it in his mid to late 20s. It’s as outrageous as Gojo taking it from Naobito.

My personal headcanon on Naobito’s drinking habit is that it formed in his later years, after Gojo’s curse technique emerged. Struggling to come to grips in his mid 50s, after a life lived for the Zenin legacy for ultimately nothing, watching the power loss and decline of relevancy the Zenin hold after the unfortunate event series - Toji energyless and exiled - Gojo born with Six Eyes - Naoya not having Ten Shadows - from the sidelines of history and the center stage of his clan, with his older brother & his father definitely already dead at this point and him being left with the joke of a person that Ogi is, he took to drinking. “If it‘s all drifting into irrelevancy, I might as well sit back and have a drink in my remaining years.” Something to this extent. In line with this, writing Megumi into his will was a drop in the ocean and at this point no dent in the current state of the clan already past its prime in his eyes.

And yet, old Naobito, leader of the most powerful and wealthy Jujutsu clan (who does not need money) goes to help with the curse outbreak in Shibuya. Sober, despite Maki‘s claims.

And he does not pull a Kusakabe avoiding the curses roaming around but genuinely puts in effort to defeat Dagon and save Maki (who left the clan) after telling her to go home (which against all reason she refuses out of teenage thickheadedness and nearly dies burnt to a crisp as a consequence).

Whereas her father, Naobito‘s little brother Ogi, throws her into a cursed pit to die.

Now, as for Naoya.

Unlike Maki's mother, he does not try to stop her from getting to the curse tools. Unlike her father, he does not throw her into a cursed pit to die. Unlike Jinichi he is not involved in a plot to have her killed.

He mocks her for having an ugly face, rendering her a total failure (on top of not having CE and being a bad fighter). Compared to what everyone else is doing to her, that is really tame.

What I find interesting and most people oddly gloss over, is how he asks her if her plan is to stay in the shadow of Megumi and Yuta.

The implication of this is that he looks down on her choice to tag along behind two other boys — instead of rising up to defeat the odds stacked against her which he potentially considers her capable of. If he was not considering her worthy of being her own person, why would he mock her for being in the shadow of those two? Much like Naobito raised Naoya with tough love, I think this (unconsciously) is a jab at Maki to take Naoya and Naobito as a role model (instead of her weak father) and rise to greatness despite the odds. Somewhere in that douchebaggery of his, he considers her biggest fault her passiveness and acceptance of other people’s low opinion of her and tries to get her to snap and rethink. Be the rebel that Naobito and Naoya also are and were.

I think Naoya, with his definition of and thoughts on strength, his contrarian taunting of everyone else in the clan after his father’s death, had plans to reform the Zenin clan in his own vision once his time as a head comes, to mare sure it will be sustainable in a new age of Jujutsu with less outdated ways of thinking. Naoya has his own agenda. He is not following anyone else's. He does not care for Sukuna's plans, he does not care about Kenjaku's plans. He does not care about Gojo's or Maki's plans (the latter ofc only up until she is all up in his face with her actions) he just wants to get promoted, nothing more. That's not any bizarrely evil masterplan, just a guy trying to steer his life in accordance with his personal vision and goals.

One of my most genuine headcanons about Naoya is that, without Maki and Megumi, he’d have been with Hakari’s and Kirara’s reformer faction and wouldn’t ever have been perceived as an antagonist at all. Because he is not a villain, he is an antagonist, and specifically for Maki & Megumi - he has zero personal agenda with the rest of the cast (aside from Gojo in the broadest sense, but in the same way his father already had it and just lived with it).

Naoya’s whole life revolved around two things: eventually stepping up to lead the clan and to prove himself worthy despite an inferior curse technique, so naturally Megumi stealing the head position from him with contractual fineprint pisses him off to the max. And then to add insult to injury, his “untalented, ugly little cousin” runs amok and slaughters the clan he was supposed to inherit right under his nose. Which he, interestingly, kind of brushes off like water under the bridge and just mocks her for being heartless. He holds no sentimental feelings towards those people murdered there, going by his lack of reaction. And does not care about the Zenin legacy being wiped out for the most part. Which hints at him having prepared for a reform that has now become moot through Maki’s actions.

Now only his other goal in life remains. To be the strongest next to Toji and Gojo. And had Maki not challenged that, had it been anyone else over a different topic, he would not have cared. But his biggest insecurity aka driver was prodded and his arrogance and refusal to acknowledge strength in another Zenin child not him became his downfall. On that note, I also do not consider him a misogynist in particular - he is a petty, spiteful instigator and goader and shittalks everyone. He baits Jinichi into attacking him, he baits Maki in a sexist way, he shittalks women in front of his aunt and he shittalks his brothers to Choso. He does not exclusively single out women to disrespect, he disrespects ANYONE. (Like young Gojo by the way, who behaved the same before he met Geto - all these kids raised into clans, especially as child prodigies set up for future greatness, have little respect for others. A baseline a big ego and a certain arrogance and always feeling better than the rest, no natural instinct to care for others and no respect for established rules are traits both share. Fortunately, Geto opened Gojo’s eyes on the responsibility of strength and taught him some consideration and at least a little humility and kindness. Otherwise, Gojo and Naoya would indeed be standing right next to each other, in arrogance and disrespect for those lower than them).

For what it’s worth, I think Naoya is sexist but the one who is an actual misogynist is Ogi. And that’s why Naoya’s treating Ogi’s wife and daughters mockingly the same way their father/husband does. Yes, there is a difference between sexism (crude prejudice and discrimination) and misogynism (actual contempt and dislike/hatred of women). And while we’re at it -- most of Jujutsu society’s clan-raised peers (vs. random recruits like Yuji, Yuta, Todo) will be sexist. They just don’t get a chance to show it in the manga because their arcs revolve around other things. Kenjaku, Sukuna, Gojo, are all certified sexists given their upbringing and backgrounds.But their stories are different ones, so it’s not likely to come up. Although there has been Gojo’s remark about scary women and Sukuna looking forward to killing women - just saying.

Personally, I don’t see characters or people IRL as good or bad, that’s a childish way of thinking and in such narrow simplistic boxes that only fit in children’s cartoons. People are people. Flawed. Everyone has flaws and everyone has reasons why they have those flaws. Some people click better with your own flaws, some end up causing issues in your life. One bad trait and deed or one good trait and deed doesn’t make or break a person. It’s the sum of what you repeatedly do. Intentions are secondary, the outcome of your actions makes it real. “Who’s worse? The demon who killed 2000 humans or the human who told another human her face is ugly?” is a stupid game to play, especially on childish claims like “oh but sexism is real” like death and murder aren’t just because your sheltered little life has been free from them so far. Grow up and start recognizing the realities of physical violence. Anyway. Naoya mocked Maki for being unable to find a husband with her scarred face, her father threw her into a pit to kill her. People who think Naoya is her issue need to get a grip.

The Zenins you are looking for are not this line of the family but the rest.

And I wanna drink sake and watch anime with Naobito. And listen to him telling me stories from his 30s in the late 1970s.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[ronearoundblindly]

Ransom x reader

Enemies to lovers , bot came from wealthy backgrounds as one is a trust fund (ran) then the other has her life getting good with a buissness outside her family . Why are they enemies at first? Shes admired for not relying on her folks too much as a teen and down to earth , enjoys the finer things as she views them as a reward or gift but ransom Demands that shit they also bicker how shes freinds with people bellow her and she sasses him how he always rely on perks thats petty

Warnings: so. much. cursing. It's all from Ransom's point of view, and since he's a disturbing(ly sexy) asshole, that translates to language. Plus smut (protected sex) MINORS DNI. 18+ ONLY. Reader's background/company is ambiguous. Also of note is the 'enemies' portion is quite subtle. WC 4k

The Root of All Ransom, Part One (see series)

There’s new money and then there’s new money.

Ransom loves the smell of new, physical money, and because he spends so much of it, he gets to feel those crisp bills all the time. Sure, his black card gets the same look at a register, but the plastic gets tattered after a while. The metal cards are a nice touch. Hefty. Metal makes a great tapping sound when he’s bored of waiting for a retail worker to do their fucking job and let him leave already. Cash is easiest to toss down and run out. He likes all forms of money. Ransom is diverse that way.

You, however, you are the New Money, the shit that’s a title, the shit that’s been earned, and it reminds him of his mother’s ranting. ‘Self-made’ his ass. Grandpa Harlan never made Linda repay a dime; that’s not a million-dollar loan. That’s good, old-fashioned nepotism. That’s inheritance come early. Old Harlan is Old Money, but New Money You is just as stale.

“She’s a breath of fresh air,” the middle-aged woman beside him coos.

Fucking gross.

Each time Ransom sees you he gets a foul taste in his mouth. His nostrils flare. He can smell the budgeting on you even at a distance. For every one of these events (with swag bags and a charity write-off promise) where you make a speech after receiving an award for whatever—he’s already too bored to listen—Ransom drinks heavily to make it to the end of the night.

He hasn’t given a dime, mind you, but Harlan has, and Linda has. Neither of them ever wants to go hobnob. Linda would but can’t trust Richard at these things, so she sticks to daytime shindigs. Walt is a bumbling, awkward mess, so he can’t represent anything other than why big pharma for every neurosis exists. He’s not welcome. Instead, it falls to nowhere-else-to-be Ransom. 

He thought he’d hate the events as much as the company until he found a thick, silver lining: some starry-eyed wannabe is always seated at an adjacent table. Handsome, young Ransom is guaranteed someone to go home with. Bonus points if they give head during the car ride.

Tonight though, he fucks up.

Ransom Drysdale makes the mistake of chatting up your date: your friend, Mariah, from high school who’s in town for the weekend. She’s doing a remarkable impression of a bimbo socialite, and he’s already wasted most of the meal trying to land an unattainable prize—though not a worthwhile prize, obviously.

It’s not his fault; he was at the bar when you and Mariah arrived, so he had no clue.

He expects you to be defensive once you make your way back to the table after your speech and find your friend with him. Ran is sure his reputation precedes him. He looks great in the photo ops just as he looks for great ass. He thinks your smile seems forced until you get closer. All you do is tell them to enjoy themselves.

Mariah here looks like she’s about to drop to her knees under the table, and you’re gonna let her?

You can’t possibly be stupid enough to trust him, can you?

He snorts out a chuckle, thinking you may know your business but you clearly do not know people. He wants to fuck Mariah. Then he really wants Mariah to tell you about fucking him, ad nauseam, hopefully, multiple times. Then he’s not sure whether he’d prefer you want to fuck him or you be mad about him fucking Mariah. He’ll have to wait and see.

“Isn’t she the best,” Mariah tosses out as flippantly as her hair extensions over her exposed shoulders. “I’m surprised she wanted me to come instead of a real date.”

“Sure,” he swigs his whisky quickly, “but then I wouldn’t get you for the evening, too.”

If he’s not mistaken, Mariah just soaked the pretty little thong he can just see the outline of in her tight dress, so Ran lays on a few more easy moves and thinks it’s a done deal.

Alas, he is wrong, and you and your friend leave together smiling while he races to text a booty call to meet at his place in a half-hour.

It’s all very frustrating, and Ransom hates you that much more.

Ransom has two new coats, a half-dozen new shirts, a three-piece suit, three new pairs of shoes, and he’s looking for the piece de resistance: a scarf (or several).

He loves accessories because he loves to change things up. He gets bored extremely easily, and he feels better when he treats himself.

In Hermès, he eyes a few options. He might even bother to get that one for his mother just because it has a few hideous accent colors he knows she’ll hate. Linda will still smile tightly and fake gratitude; it’s the only type of gratitude she knows. He doesn’t find anything for himself though, so he heads to the counter and recognizes the curves of a woman’s backside…in a dress that he’s seen in multiple candid tabloid shots.

How old is that garment? Jesus. Have some pride, woman.

His bored greeting startles you.

“Mr. Drysdale,” you exclaim, hand over your heart, “good to see you again.”

Is it?

“Right,” he grumbles roughly. “What brings you out of your goodie-two-shoes hole this afternoon?”

You seem excited, but in a different way than he’s ever noticed. At events, you are the picture of humility, full of genuine gratitude (and possibly the only reason he knows what that looks like), but this is something else.

The salesman returns with your order and unboxes a Birkin bag for you to inspect.

Now you’re just plain giddy, overjoyed, and vibrating, and Ransom preens a little to see Ms. High-and-Mighty so lowered as to indulge in retail therapy.

That’s a twenty-five thousand dollar bag you’re holding.

“Nice color,” Ransom chides, but he isn’t rewarded with your deterrence. You simply turn to beam at him.

“My favorite!” Your hands return to sweeping over the beautiful pebbled leather. “I had to wait for years—which is fine—“ you quickly add “—but I promised myself I’d do ten hours a week of volunteer work to earn such an extravagance.”

“Are you going to use it?”

You nod without turning back to him.

“Are you going to enjoy it?”

Another saleswoman motions to help him with the scarf he holds, and Ransom says nothing to her but drops his black card on the counter.

“Very much so,” you say quietly, almost like a confession.

“Then what’s so crazy about that?”

You giggle. You actually giggle. You don’t tell him how wrong he is or judge his spending in any way, which is surprising when that’s all those events he knows you from are for—to get him to spend money their way.

Ransom doesn’t know what compels him to stand there with his small purchase and watch while your bag gets squared away. You don’t choose to wear it out of the store, something he finds patently ridiculous because it’s a fucking Birkin and you’re about to walk out of Hermes with it in a box in another bag.

He pushes off the counter to walk out with you, an idea springing up.

“You’ve met my mother, I believe.”

Your polite smile gives nothing away. “Yes, a few times. Very briefly.”

“Her birthday is next month—” he lets an employee open the door for you both “—her sixtieth, allegedly.”

“Oh, well, tell her happy birthday for me.”

“You could come.”

Your face scrunches but whether from his offer or the bright sun on the street, he doesn’t know. His sunglasses are already on. You rummage around in what looks like a tapestry bag on the bad side of vintage for yours. 

This is why you should have left using the Birkin, and he’s honestly surprised Hermès even served you looking like you do.

Where’s all that new money now, he thinks, because one bag is certainly not all of it.

“Why not? You both own businesses and run in similar circles.”

“Hugh, I don’t think—“

“Ransom,” he corrects with a sneer.

“Well, I just…” You regard him thoroughly for a long moment until a black car pulls up and its driver opens the door for you.

There it is. There’s a bit of pomp. He’s almost proud to see you being served. You’re just like him—or rather his family—in a way; you have help.

“Fine,” you say to Ransom while nodding to your driver, “text me the details, and I’ll see if I’m in town.” Even though your words are dismissive, they sound genuine and kind.

Yuck.

Your driver fishes a card from his breast pocket and curtly adds a ‘sir,’ before shutting you behind tinted windows.

Ok, so it’s not the easiest ‘yes’ he’s ever gotten. It wasn’t a ‘no’ either. Good news is that Ransom is not holding his breath. If it works, it works.

The idea is to flaunt you in front of Linda, not romantically, of course, but as a younger woman, perceived as better, more self-made, more successful, with a Birkin bag in his mother’s actual favorite color, while he gives her a scarf she’ll be revolted by. It’s perfect.

This did not at all go to plan.

Linda is supposed to be pissed. She’s supposed to be appalled and furious and have to hide that from her guests—which is most of the family, catering staff, and Harlan’s house help. She’s supposed to look at Ransom and know that he did this on purpose.

He told you not to bring a present for a reason, but he made damn sure when he picked you up that you were wearing that damn bag.

How the fuck was he supposed to know you’d go and be the dumbest bitch ever?

Linda got through two whole sentences of greeting after obviously clocking the Birkin and then turned it about her. She’s predictable that way, but you are not.

“That’s my favorite color,” she said.

“Mine too,” you said.

You both fucking laughed.

“I’ve always wanted one,” she said.

“You should have one,” you said.

He should have known right then except for on what planet does someone…

Ransom only stepped out for a few minutes to mess with Walt, smoking that sickening cigar. When he comes back in, there on the table right beside Linda is your bag. He looks around, but you aren’t in the living room. Then his mom smiles and pets the Birkin possessively.

“Oh, Ran, that girl is so sweet,” Linda coos.

Richard snorts in astonishment. “She’s really something.”

Ransom cringes at the lustful leer on his father’s face while he stares off toward the library.

What the shit? 

You gave his mother your bag? After one minute of conversation?

God fucking damn it.

He has no words. Ran just purses his lips and stalks off to the other room in search of you. You’re deep in conversation with Harlan, seated across from each other in the bay windows of the library in high-backed upholstered chairs. On the floor beside your foot is a Blood Like Wine tote, partially filled.

“Grandpa,” he interrupts, leaning one arm against your chair with a questioning gaze.

“Ransom, my boy, it’s good to see you.” Before he can get a word in, Harlan waves an arthritis-gnarled hand in your direction. “Have you met my neighbor?”

“Neighbor?”

You shrug with a weak smile. “I purchased the Carlyles’ old property last year but kept my apartment in town.”

He’s thrown off by this news, thinking. “That’s walking distance from here,” Ransom says flatly.

“Yes, it is. That’s why I can find my own way home tonight.”

“Ah,” Harlan taps his nose, “so you two know each other.”

“Your grandson was kind enough to invite me.”

“And you made quite a fucking impression,” Ransom growls while putting a hand on your shoulder.

Harlan flicks Ransom away. “Don’t be creepy, son. Get the lady a drink.”

“Mr. Thrombey, please.” You stand, forcibly pushing his hand off of you. “Ransom’s your family. Why don’t I get you boys something while you catch up?”

“Whiskey, neat, two fingers,” Ransom bitterly spits, shoving the hand in his jean pocket.

Harlan tsks him with a solemn look.

“The same,” his grandfather sighs before returning your smile. “I appreciate it, dear.”

“Anytime.”

Ran fights the urge to kick your tote on the floor.

Harlan simply moves on. “One of my next novels is an intrigue of corruption, involves a non-profit, and Good Miss was enlightening me to a few details of their inner workings.”

“Glad you both can turn it off for five minutes,” Ransom grunts back.

Harlan’s sharp gaze lands on him.

“While I am glad you did not use her and lose her, as they say.”

“God, no,” Ransom groans in revulsion. “She’s here to rub Linda the wrong way…not me.” He tries to bury his self-satisfied smirk in a sweater sleeve held to his mouth.

“Charming.” Harlan means anything but charming as he looks to see you side-tracked again by a chat with Marta. “You’ve done much worse before—“ he turns to the window “—but my guess is she never has.”

Ransom’s jaw twitches. This is why he hates his family, even his favorite among them. No wonder he brought someone exclusively to annoy them, hoping to make them feel small and selfish, but he forgot something important.

They’re all like him. None of them care to be selfless. They don’t want to be charitable. They are fine being perceived that way, if necessary, if it gains them something else they want.

But.

What Harlan says gives him another idea. What if he keeps you around? They are sure to lose their minds. Harlan would be impressed (and proved wrong). Richard will be jealous (although that’s still gross). Linda would be unable to manipulate that situation (though she’ll try).

Plus, Joni will hate you instantly because you’re prettier and don’t need her snake-oil skin shit.

“Harlan,” you offer his grandfather his drink first, then turn to Ran with that irritatingly kind smile. “Hugh.”

He takes the glass and flashes pearly whites.

It’s decided. He just hopes the sex won’t be as boring as he thinks. You’re definitely not a roadhead bitch.

Although based on that damn Birkin, you are stupidly generous, so he hopes that translates to the bed…or wherever he fucks you.

“Sure your shoes can take it?”

As if he can’t walk across the fucking woods…the embers of waning alcohol all push around in his gut on the trek over to the Carlyles’ place. He hasn’t gone over there since maybe freshman year of high school during a long Christmas stay at Thrombey Manor.

He was wrong. Ran’s shoes are not fine, but he has to bury that irritation down deep while entering the warm and inviting mansion filled with your...roommates?

Four other people live in a house that you sometimes stay in: Angela, Diego, Terrell, and Luca.

Ran doesn’t fucking care. This is not some weird orgy he’s planning. He almost walks right back out and floors the Beamer back to civilization.

Mercifully, you have most of the upstairs entirely to yourself, a small suite of a bedroom, office, and bathroom neatly tucked above a quieter part of the house.

He’s surprised that you drop the tote bag and start shedding clothes so quickly.

“Sorry about them. We all went to uni together and this works as a crash-pad for the internationals.”

“No problem,” he sighs, “I know what it’s like.” They’re freeloaders, like my cousin Meg, is what they are, but Ransom keeps that thought to himself.

You offer him another drink, which Ran accepts, watching you like a hawk with sky-blue eyes.

Beneath your dress, you wear a slip, a silky satin thing that actually impresses him. He’s convinced there is thick shapewear beneath it because that just seems like a you thing to do: one sexy move, one boner killer. Instead of showing him though, you spin your finger around in front of him.

“Really,” he quips. He’s already resigned to putting his dick in either way, so he doesn’t really care.

You smile too sweetly for it to read as coy. “Make yourself useful and go to my bag.”

“That’s not a bag,” he scoffs. “Might as well be made of tissue paper.”

He still obediently wanders over to the chair you draped it over and flips back a handle. Excellent. This nearly makes up for the entire party. Ran derives a sickening amount of pleasure from knowing these condoms were stored in the Birkin his mother will now carry around with pride.

He downs the remainder of his drink and whips out a wrapper. He wouldn’t care if you didn’t have any, or didn’t want to use one, or if you made some reference to them but the lights were off and didn’t check. The lights are still on though, and you’ve pointed him right to them. He’ll play ball. He hopes you play with balls, too. He hopes this is fun instead of just mediocre. He prepares himself to be actively bored, however, because that’s the most likely scenario.

It’s his usual MO. Works like a charm. Start out slow and teasing—girls tend to think it’s sensual but he’s being lazy (and they beg soon anyway)—until he can take over in exactly whatever fashion he wants. Except you don’t quite let things unfold that way.

He expects you to want him to kiss you, but you playfully turn away each time he advances. You swat his hands when he tries to touch you, only to grab the hem of his sweater and rip it off him. You don’t wait for him to unbutton his jeans before sliding cool fingers down past the band of his boxers.

Fuck, he does like it when they're forward.

He pops the button, pushes the zipper, and shuffles out of the heavy cotton while you get a good hold of him. Ransom doesn’t care that your hands are soft, just rough enough for friction and nothing more, and he doesn’t really care that your slip is still on because he’s figured something else out.

You’re not wearing underwear. He’s not sure if you were but tossed them aside while he grabbed the condom, or perhaps you’ve been speaking with his family for the better part of two hours with your cunt kissed by the same air they were all breathing, but he’s happy about it.

Ransom leans forward to you again, but instead of letting him kiss you, you look down to spit in your hand and work him harder.

“The sooner you suit up…” you taunt him, glancing at the wrapper still clutched in Ran’s hand, “sooner you get in for the night.”

He’s been with bossy doms before—not his favorite—but this is different. His instinct is that you want a show of it, maybe you want to see him touch himself, maybe you want to see his face as the tight latex is rolled down his throbbing cock, but you hold his gaze while turning your body away from him.

Since he doesn’t have to play up how he looks, Ran focuses on the expanse of skin across your back. There’s so much more than your dress showed, yet not enough, and it’s beautiful. He thinks about the same, smooth skin that must be stretched across your ass and rolls his hips against the fabric while his mouth maps your neck and shoulders.

Not romantically, of course, he’s not trying to make you feel better—you are more than capable of feeling yourself, but Ransom enjoys a little taunting of his own now and then.

His hands move to cup your breasts, and fuck, did you not have a bra on earlier either? This day is full of surprises.

His intense rutting coupled with teasing your taut nipples makes your slip catch between your ass cheeks, and he angles his dick to press through the apex of your thighs, taking the satin with him.

Pretty skin beneath his lips, pretty noises ringing in his ears, Ran pulls away.

The fresh wet spot on your slip sticks to the condom when he looks down at his demanding erection.

You’re ready. He’s ready.

Fuck, Ransom is so ready, and you know it, climbing onto the edge of your bed to get comfortable presented in all your glory, all the lights on, fingers already teasing and working yourself open.

This is already way better than he expected. He doesn’t have to work. He doesn’t have to try. He doesn’t have to fake interest. You handle your clit like the expert you are on yourself, and Ran works himself up, sheathed and thrusting in you like the expert he is on himself. Pleasure for pleasure, and fuck is it pleasurable. 

His fist holds onto the bundled satin across the small of your back, and you make natural escalating noises.

It sounds genuine.

Shit, when was the last time he didn’t get annoyed at some bitch hamming up her moans? Not that it distracted him from coming, no, he could get him whether she was dramatic or an awkward, silent one. Takes more effort when he has to ignore something she’s doing though. 

Then you demand he goes faster, and he’s into it. Then you come with a groan that’ll haunt his hindbrain, and he can feel the massaging grip and release. Then you take his balls in hand, tugging gently, and he fucking loses it.

He feels the hot flood of his cum into the condom as your walls still ripple against him. 

Damn, he doesn’t even care if you made him wrap up. That was fucking satisfying. It wasn’t even complicated, but you came and he came and that’s all he needed.

Ransom hasn’t been at a girl’s place in a while (certainly not without his car ready to get away) because he prefers to kick them out and already be home, but his hookups are usually clinging to the idea of staying the night.

You immediately go to the bathroom, clean up, and—now completely naked—stand at the foot of the bed.

“You good, Hugh? I’m on a call with Beijing in fifteen, so take your time—“ you button up a plain, blue shirt, your nipples showing right through “—or sleep or whatever. I’ll be a bit.”

“Only the help calls me Hugh.” It’s all he can come up with while he stares at your breasts and contemplates why he feels a bit used.

He got off, you’re not clinging to him, and you’ve given him an easy out. If he had to describe his perfect fucking date, this would be it, and his gut twists oddly just thinking about being dismissed.

You don’t miss a beat, heading for the door with only panties and the shirt on. Your ass pops out easily from under the hem.

“Suppose I’ll see you at the Kennedy thing next weekend, huh?”

Ran slaps his hand over his face, remembering there’s another fucking event coming up. “Yeah. Is that the stupid inner-city garden initiative?”

You hum in response, grabbing something else out of your flimsy purse tote. He better not see you carry that fucking thing around in front of actual fucking people. You don’t see him staring at your ass through his fingers before you swivel back around.

“If you need something, text me. Don’t knock.”

He snorts, knowing that he wouldn’t stay if a girl paid him to.

For one shining moment, you turn to beam at him. “Thanks for making it quick,” you chirp with a wink and shut the door behind you.

You goddamn wink at him after chucking him into the quickie category in your own mansion.

What the fuck?

Out of spite, he should just sleep here, he thinks. Let Harlan question why the Beamer is still in the drive. Let Walt stare at the car and know Ransom can get better pussy than that twat has had in a lifetime. Let Linda…

Hell, let Linda do whatever the fuck she wants and let Richard think whatever the fuck he wants.

Ransom takes his own naked walk of glory to the bathroom and does just that—he sleeps in a hookup’s bed all night, completely pleased with himself and his control of the situation.

a/n: Honest to god, this was supposed to be a one-shot. Genuinely, I swear. Now that I've plotted it out though...there was no way. I just personally don't really like more than 5k per Tumblr post. Too easy to lose your place. This way we stick with a three-ish-act structure, too. Squee! Hope you enjoyed this, and please let me know what you think in comments, reblogs, or anon asks!

[Next Part]

[Main Masterlist]

[dumplingprincessextraordinaire]

I try not to post too much about antis because I want the proship tags to be filled with happiness more so than rants, but I haven’t seen anyone point these two people out much so here I go.

Britney Venti and Meatcanyon. MC is simple. He uploaded a video called “the worst fandom” and basically shat on lolicons and spread that stupid school of thought “your brain can’t tell the different between drawings and the real thing-“ No meaty, maybe YOUR brain can’t tell the differences but most of us well adjusted adults CAN. In fact, I think he maybe really can’t tell the difference, remember that disgusting video where he drew that foot ball player getting grossly intimate with his son (a real child, a real father) AND then made a joke about the foot ball abusing the wife for laughs? A real woman as well I’m assuming? Maybe I’m just sensitive to women’s issues because I am one, but gross. Why didn’t more people call Meaty out for that?? I didn’t hear a buzz or a thing about it.

Okay so Britney Venti. Basically she’s a pickme who hates other women, shits on sex workers and lolicons alike. She also likes to join discord servers that are properly marked and labeled as the exact thing she hates just to “expose them”.

At first she’ll try to shit on sex workers by saying stuff like “well I’m just looking at the fact and the psychology about how sex workers are always depressed and aboooosed” and then she’ll turn around and make fun of these same women with really petty low jabs like “wow she looks so retarded and talks funny” (a Venus angelic video iirc) to top all of that off, she’s also apparently dating the incel king himself think before you sleep SO.

And to be clear, I’m a little murky on how good sex work actually is for women myself. I honestly don’t know and I have some misgivings about it, but the difference between Britney and I, is that I’ll never make fun of SWer’s abuse stories, body shame them or victim blame them for what they’ve been through. Basically, Britney sweetie, maybe your brain hasn’t quite caught up to this type of nuance yet, but you can dislike sex work without hating sex workers and being misogynistic.

Oh yeah, after spending years attacking that shark girl vtuber and intruding on proship spaces and saying we’re all monsters, someone dug up a clip of her flirting with a little boy on stream. SO.

[dxy-drxxm]

SYNOPSIS: Kaeya has a lot of things he enjoyed about you. Or, well, admired, to be frank.

CW/s: tooth rotting fluff, short drabble, kaeya is a hopeless SIMP (/silly), tbh he's just a silly guy who can't confess if his life depended on it (and... It did lol), can be interpreted as platonic or romantic (it's both, but it's a slow transition from platonic to romantic hehe)

NOTE: hi, this drabble is for @ryuryuryuyurboat for @ecrin-de-litterature's "kiss (don't tell)" event! I hope you enjoy a drabble of Kaeya being a hopeless simp because as much as I'd like to write a full blown date with him, I've been busy since college and I want to curl up and pass away. orz.

Kaeya never says a lot about the person he admires.

For him, the Cavalry Captain had more than enough to take care of. Maybe it was due to the job that kept him busy, or even because of how life gave him a batch of lemons that he needed to deal with.

But when it comes to certain people like who he's seen now, it made him feel as though he became but the same child when Cyrus adopted him all those years ago.

He still remembered the first time you two met—you were one of Lisa's attendants. An assistant, one could say. You're always available whenever Lisa isn't feeling the urge to check in the library, which is often, and Kaeya had decided to try and see what you're like.

Sure, you may have panicked and treated him like a stranger, but it wasn't long for you two to get close. Soon, you're treating him like you two have been friends for years, joking and laughing over certain things.

Kaeya couldn't help but smile. He always liked seeing others express joy when he couldn't.

Though, little by little, the dynamic seem to change. Others pointed out to him that you and Kaeya had been together for quite a while now, always speaking and chatting over the most mundane things.

Petty drama from the knights, Lisa's recent books and those who borrowed arriving late, the many foreigners that came about when the traveler would be busy in another region... You two had a lot to talk about, and sometimes, he didn't notice how much you two could never stop speaking of such things.

It was stupid, he's aware, but he wouldn't lie and say he didn't like it. On the contrary, he enjoyed that time being spent on something he considering to be enjoyable.

You made his days less unbearable. Like he can wake up one day and think that things will be fine.

He admired that charm from you. You make it seem so... natural.

There were even moments that the two of you shared. He remembered your first Windblume festival with him, the first time you've spent working for a year with Lisa (it was your work anniversary, he joked to you once), and even down to when you two travelled to different nations together.

He's seen it all— your highs, lows, and even the turnarounds. He's heard you rant and ramble of the nations, and yet he felt his pride raise when you'd return to Mondstadt, still calling it your home.

It was clear that you have seen that place, out of every nation, as the best. In return, he did his best keeping it safe. Although, there had been moments he would mess up.

He may act confident, but when alone, he'd feel like he's a lost child again. He loathed that feeling.

The first time you've seen him act like it was when you two spoke of each other's pasts. Kaeya has told you what happened between him and Diluc, and he could never forget the way you hugged him for hearing his voice crack.

He cares for Diluc, like how he cares for you. However, how could he say the same for his adopted brother? Would he ever do the same thing you did to him?

... Perhaps. Perhaps not, even.

Still, he couldn't help but think how much he can even handle this feeling. It's a secret he's kept that your actions made him feel like he can be free, yet he kept himself trapped by will.

He was trapped in the feeling of admiration and envy, clashing and fighting against each other. It made his heart soar and ache when things happen, both because of you and because of himself.

He felt envious of you. He wanted to say that to you, but seeing you smile got rid of that envy.

...

It was a strange conundrum. One that left him sleepless for nights on end... And that's when it clicked.

He realized that it was a form of self-sabotage.

Kaeya didn't want to ruin the relationship you two had as friends, so he kept it under lock and key. He threw the key away, denying that he felt something to you. Denying that he felt as though he loved you that way. He couldn't. He didn't even know the answer.

...

It was stupid to worry. It truly is.

But now? How could he not worry?

He's done this to himself. Even if others told him to say it, to utter those words he forbade himself from speaking, he kept his mouth shut. You two are friends, and he's far too used to admiring you and your acts from afar.

He's craved to admire someone that would make him feel this way, and he got what he asked. Although, he couldn't bring himself to hate you for charming him like that.

After all, that is what makes you you. And he doesn't want you to lose the only thing that fits you perfectly.

@.dxy-drxxm | do not republish, repost, or copy my works anywhere | 2024

[paper-gold-theories]

The Last

[Casual Black Hat Organization Members Pre-Meeting Meetup at the Manor while waiting for the actual meeting to start]

Dark Phantom: It's not fair! I’m always the last one to know everything!

Ghoul: That’s not true, boss.

Dark Phantom: Yes, it is! I was the last one to know that Porccini was a traitor that's was selling out the villains to P.E.A.C.E.

Flug: Oh that reminds me Lord Black Hat is serving barbecued pork for lunch after today's meeting.

Dark Phantom: I was the last to know about Miss Valdoom's petty followers "pissing contest" with Miss Heed.

Miss Valdoom: IT'S NOT A PETTY PISSING CONTEST! That stupid pink heroine has been locked up for months but she still has more followers than me! WHY?! *tearing her hair out* What does everyone see in that horrid rando! They should give ME more attention NOT HER! I'm the most beautiful, gorgeous, talented, fashionable-

Dark Phantom interrupts her mid rant: I was the last one to know that King Cassino lost his gambling licence to operate his 52 Casino legally.

Poker Face: *snickers*

King Cassino, glares at Poker Face before turning back to Dark Phantom: That issue is being settled. Right now you can still go my underground gambing dens across the country.

Poker Face: Or why settle for dark, gloomy and cramped dens come down to my luxurious, state of the art casino. We just installed a human sized dart board and a wheel of torture and if you bring your Arch-Nemesis on Hero Night you get a free drink.

King Cassino: Any underground den of mind is better than your childish casino filled with overcompensating childish gimmicks.

Poker Face: Oh says the guy that has UNO and jacks games for gambling in his casinos.

King Cassino: That's part of the unique attraction! And it has worked for many years earning me millions unlike your-

Dark Phantom: Oh yeah! I was the last one to know that Poker Face used to work for King Cassino!

King Cassino: *snickers*

Poker Face: Ugh that was so long ago!

Dark Phantom: I was the last one to know about Lady Naga falling off a roof and landing in trash because she was startled by a cat!

Lady Naga: That was one time!

Dark Phantom: I was the last one to know about Tri-Skull getting kicked in the balls by Vanity Bolt!

Tri-Skull: That moron cheated, he snuck up on me from behind!

Dark Phantom: And the last one to know that I accidentally wore my costume backwards at the party (the other villains snickered after remembering that incident). *glares ar Ghoul* Which I ONLY found out after Ghoul told me when we got back.

Ghoul, sheepishly: I thought you were starting a new fashion trend at first...

Dark Phantom, crying: I was also the last to know that my beloved and beautiful lizard queen Demencia has a crush on Black Hat!

Demencia, offended and still oblivious to Dark Phantom's crush on her: REALLY?! Are you living under a rock in the ocean! I thought I couldn't make it more obvious!

Dark Phantom: And I was the last one to know about Flug’s crush on GoldHeart.

GoldHeart, spying on them with his team from the outside: WHAT?!?

[Flug’s face goes red and GoldHeart was extremely ecstatic]

Dark Phantom: Oh. Looks like I was second to last.

[ohanny]

so @cryingatships posted about pit babe cam boy au ideas (the north and sonic one will flourish in my brain rent free for the next forever) which reminded me i also wrote one for kenta and kim way back when and i just want to add to their genius because we need more spicy pit babe ideas

again, gets nsfw below the cut:

where introvert kenta finally moves out of his dad’s house and finds a room to rent for suspiciously cheap in a suspiciously nice apartment. he asks some questions because he's not stupid but kim’s all "don't worry, i can afford it and to be honest, i kinda get lonely” and well, it is a really good deal. how likely is it that kenta would end up living with a human trafficking evil overlord twice, anyway? like kim literally could not be worse than his father.

their cohabitation works brilliantly but after two months of living together, kenta comes home from work early to discover the reason why kim can afford their rental agreement and seems to have all the time in the world for his hobbies is not because he's some nepo baby but because he has an insanely lucrative career as a cam boy and an only fans star. because there kim is, dressed in a sheer robe and stockings, washing a sparkly pink dildo in the middle of their open kitchen.

kim, defiant: i am not ashamed of what i do and if it bothers you, you can move out.

kenta whose brain has blue screened and is currently making beep boop noises: gah 

but once kenta manages to stammer out he is fine with kim’s chosen career, kim stops hiding. partly because he's a petty bitch and wants to see if kenta is actually fine with it or if he's a closeted homophobe who really likes cheap rent and partly because sneaking around his own home is super annoying and he would much rather do his make up in the living room because the big windows provide the best light. also, it would be super helpful if kenta could lend him a hand with his lighting system because it takes ages to figure out all the angles alone.

kenta is totally having a crisis because kim is just so confident and self-assured and after he finishes filming, he will sit in the living room eating pizza in old sweats, regaling kenta with tales of cringy comments from old men and other streaming misfortunes from buying the most disgustingly tasting flavored lube to getting a cramp in the middle of riding his toys.

but then one evening kenta comes home to kim stabbing a salad, looking sulky, and he’s like “what, no pizza tonight?” and kim rolls his eyes and explains one of his top donors made a comment about how he's been gaining weight lately with a self-deprecating “i guess i got a bit too carried away with the take out and beer with you.”

kenta is offended. he might go on a little rant about how that man must be blind on top of an absolute imbecile and should go fuck himself for a change and kim is beautiful no matter what he eats and in kenta’s personal opinion actually looks much better now compared to the rail thin twink thing he had going on when kenta first moved in. kim stares up at him, wide eyed and in awe.

kenta, blushing and starting to stutter again: anyway… no one should be allowed to tell anyone what to do with their bodies and you should just block them because you don't need someone like that in your space and i will just go to my room now bye

kim, jumping to his feet to grab kenta: the fuck you are, come here -

and yes, they kiss and it's amazing but kim is still hesitant because “you're really okay with all this? because i don't plan on stopping anytime soon, i like what i do” and kenta sheepishly admits that he sometimes watches kim’s streams on a burner account.

kim: you know you'd get a much better view on the other side of the wall?

kenta: oh.

kim: that was an invitation, dummy.

kenta: OH

kim is right. the view is so much better on the other side of the wall. kim is stunning and looks and sounds so fucking good and having kenta there is totally helping him get in the mood and put on an even better show. if the live chat gets a rising frequency of comments along the lines of “is it just me or is kim looking at someone behind the camera?” well, it adds to the mystique?

and really, it's inevitable that - once he gets comfortable - kenta snaps in a moment of horny insanity and ends up revealing himself. it's friday and kim is on all fours, fucking himself with the infamous pink, sparkly dildo but he’s not able to reach quite right and he keeps begging and cursing at the camera and kenta’s brain just goes “well, i could help.” he doesn't think. he just gets out of his chair, ducks past the camera and swats kim’s hand away to grab the base of the dildo and then smoothly slides it all the way in.

it’s only when kim’s arms give out and he slumps down with a guttural moan that kenta realizes they’re still very much live. he snatches his hand back but before he can stumble completely out of the frame, kim whines “fuck, come back, sorry guys but i don't give a shit” into the pillow and the chat goes WILD when kenta is helpless to do anything other what he's told. he uses the dildo to fuck kim into, through and past a devastating prostate orgasm and once he has regained his senses, kim ends the stream with a breathless giggle and a “sorry to cut the outro tonight but clearly me and my roommate need to have a talk.”

kenta: roommate?

kim: i mean, i'd prefer boyfriend because i'm pretty sure i'm in love with you but -

kenta: boyfriend sounds good.

and they live happily ever after. kenta helps kim with his accounts, clothes and photoshoots and on special occasions, joins his streams and videos. kim charges double for everything they do as a couple and all that extra money is certainly helping him in convincing kenta to quit the office job he's way too qualified for and find what he really wants to do in life. they adopt three cats and kenta moves all his things into kim’s room and everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.