#the most extra people in the world? correct absolutely

[whetstonefires]

You know what I realize that people underestimate with Pride & Prejudice is the strategic importance of Jane.

Because like, I recently saw Charlotte and Elizabeth contrasted as the former being pragmatic and the latter holding out for a love match, because she's younger and prettier and thinks she can afford it, and that is very much not what's happening.

The Charlotte take is correct, but the Elizabeth is all wrong. Lizzie doesn't insist on a love match. That's serendipitous and rather unexpected. She wants, exactly as Mr. Bennet says, someone she can respect. Contempt won't do. Mr. Bennet puts it in weirdly sexist terms like he's trying to avoid acknowledging what he did to himself by marrying a self-absorbed idiot, but it's still true. That's what Elizabeth is shooting for: a marriage that won't make her unhappy.

She's grown up watching how miserable her parents make one another; she's not willing to sign up for a lifetime of being bitter and lonely in her own home.

I think she is very aware, in refusing Mr. Collins, that it's reasonably unlikely that anyone she actually respects is going to want her, with her few accomplishments and her lack of property. That she is turning down security and the chance keep the house she grew up in, and all she gets in return may be spinsterhood.

But, crucially, she has absolute faith in Jane.

The bit about teaching Jane's daughters to embroider badly? That's a joke, but it's also a serious potential life plan. Jane is the best creature in the world, and a beauty; there's no chance at all she won't get married to someone worthwhile.

(Bingley mucks this up by breaking Jane's heart, but her prospects remain reasonable if their mother would lay off!)

And if Elizabeth can't replicate that feat, then there's also no doubt in her mind that Jane will let her live in her house as a dependent as long as she likes, and never let it be made shameful or awful to be that impoverished spinster aunt. It will be okay never to be married at all, because she has her sister, whom she trusts absolutely to succeed and to protect her.

And if something eventually happens to Jane's family and they can't keep her anymore, she can throw herself upon the mercy of the Gardeners, who have money and like her very much, and are likewise good people. She has a support network--not a perfect or impregnable one, but it exists. It gives her realistic options.

Spinsterhood was a very dangerous choice; there are reasons you would go to considerable lengths not to risk it.

But Elizabeth has Jane, and her pride, and an understanding of what marrying someone who will make you miserable costs.

That's part of the thesis of the book, I would say! Recurring Austen thought. How important it is not to marry someone who will make you, specifically, unhappy.

She would rather be a dependent of people she likes and trusts than of someone she doesn't, even if the latter is formally considered more secure; she would rather live in a happy, reasonable household as an extra than be the mistress of her own home, but that home is full of Mr. Collins and her mother.

This is a calculation she's making consciously! She's not counting on a better marriage coming along. She just feels the most likely bad outcome from refusing Mr. Collins is still much better than the certain outcome of accepting him. Which is being stuck with Mr. Collins forever.

Elizabeth is also being pragmatic. Austen also endorses her choice, for the person she is and the concerns she has. She's just picking different trade-offs than Charlotte.

Elizabeth's flaw is not in her own priorities; she doesn't make a reckless choice and get lucky. But in being unable to accept that Charlotte's are different, and it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with Charlotte.

Because realistically, when your marriage is your whole family and career forever, and you only get to pick the ones that offer themselves to you, when you are legally bound to the status of dependent, you're always going to be making some trade-offs.

😂 Even the unrealistically ideal dream scenario of wealthy handsome clever ethical Mr. Darcy still asks you to undergo personal growth, accommodate someone else's communication style, and eat a little crow.

[yuvany]

"MS.UGLY DUCKLING" ft SIM JAKE

SYNOPSIS : growing up "ugly" was not for the weak. Being absolutely ignored both in and outside of school was not for the weak. No one is ever ugly forever though. Changing schools and meeting new people, but most importantly meeting him might have been the best choice you've ever made in a very, very long time.

CONTENT WARNINGS : angst (with a happy ending) + bullying + insecurities + strangers to friends + friends to lovers + written in second perspective + self deprication + fluff + long + little rushed + partially proofread

ACTORS : ENHYPEN JAKE x FEMALE READER

WORD COUNT : ~ 4k

CHECK BOX !!

i. "WHY WON'T THEY EVER PLAY WITH ME," you asked your mother after returning home from a long and harsh first day of school. Your hair looked a mess, and dirt was scattered across your clothes, yet your voice sounded like childish innocence and pure wonder. Maybe it was too much for such a young child to realise that her newly made friends maybe weren't actually her friends?

(Read more under the cut)

"I'm sure they didn't mean to?" She replied, her voice sounding soft and vulnurable, feeling like she was responsible for the sorrows and grief that her child had been put through, since she was the one who had bought you into this world. Instead of confronting the problem, she told her child that the world wasn't as evil as it seemed, that thinking on the bright side, or the possibilities, were the correct way to live life.

Eight-year-old girl walked up the stairs with heavy weights glued beneath her feet after dinner was finished. You threw yourself onto your bed that was neatly made in the morning before you went to school happily, just to come home opposite of the way you left. The softness of the pillow and blanket laying on your bed was enough to comfort you as you buried your face deep into it and wrapping the blanket around you tightly. You wished for friends, and you wished to be happy, but most of all, you wanted to be like everybody else.

ii. ONE MORE DAY at school, the daily mistreatment never seeming to come to a halt. You walked through the corridors anxiously holding onto the straps of your backback tightly with your pair of eyes wandering all over the place in case of danger. This was certainly not nessecary for a child your age, but when nobody chooses to help, you've got to start taking care of yourself.

Maybe it was your nerves that made it feel as if everyone's eyes were on you, but their mouths would open to release a fit of laughter that they had held in until specifically you walked past them. You crossed your arms, feeling extra aware of yourself now, guessing that they were laughing and giggling at you, which you didn't appreciate, but you were also too insecure and scared to speak up against them.

You reached your locker, looking forward to being able to collect your throught, away from everyone else, the locker shielding you away from their piercing gazes and judgemental stares and whispers. As you look up from your shoes, you see piles of gum stuck onto your locker, the gum being pressed onto the metal aggressively by the people you wished you didn't see. It was them; the popular girls of the school, and few of many people who seemed to despise you. They saw you standing there, shooting you an all too familiar look before walking away with their hips swaying from side to side dramatically.

You approched your locker to finally see what they were doing up close, "UGLY!" it read. You felt embarrased imagining all the people who passed by and saw this. Did they laugh? Did they feel bad for you? What did they think? You wanted to run away and hide in a deep hole you'd dig up with all the stored up shame inside of you.

iii. "MOM, DO YOU THINK I'M PRETTY?" You asked your mother once more, years after the first, but soon to the recent encounter. "I think you're very pretty." She says, but your gut tells you another story. "Really?" You ask, awaiting her response that takes a long while before she hums lowly. That just confirms it, she wasn't being honest. "Thanks," you say, with no emotion in your tone. She looks away and eats her dinner quietly.

You quickly finish yours, and wash it in the faucet, the soap bubbling up and covering your fingers as you scrub and rub the plate, utensils and glass that you used. After finishing that up, you return to your room, locking it behind you. You hid under the covers for a while until it got too suffocating and warm, leaving you itchy and irriatted before sliding out and standing in front of the mirror. You inspected every inch and detail of your face, feeling not so content with some parts. You sighed at your reflection that looked back at you with tired, red eyes. At just fourteen years old, you began caring about how you looked, and how others precieved you, so you took matters into your own hands. That night, you stayed up all night searching for 'how to be prettier' and scrolled endlessly through social media.

The next day, you had decided to get a new hair cut to maybe fix the way you looked, you knew excatly what you wanted, and how to cut it. Before anyone else woke up, even before the first birds chirped their morning tune, you made your way to the bathroom and grabbed a pair of scissors in your grasp. You carefully cut strand for strand, the same way you remebered how the video showed. "It doesn't look too bad." You think to yourself, and then you hear footsteps outside the door. Your eyes quickly scanned the hair that layed on the tiled floor and faucet, wondering what to do with it.

Too late. The door slowly swung open and in came your mom. She was silent upon seeing the scene, the horror only showing in her eyes. "What happened here?" She asked like a sharp whisper. "I just cut my hair..." You reply equally quiet. You see her shake her head in disappointment, so you turn your head down, looking at all the hair that had been flying everywhere while you had fun cutting your hair, and suddenly you weren't as proud of your hair cut like you were before. "Go get the broom, y/n." You obeyed your mother's order and hurried out of the bathroom feeling tears of embarrassment reaching your eyes.

iv. YOU STARTED WEARING MAKE UP to cover up, but to everyone else, you told them that you wore make up becase you thought it looked pretty. Still, they'd give weird glances toward each others, which you knew was their way of judging you.

Each morning, you woke up early to sit in front of your mirror examining your appearance like you always did. Hoping and praying to somehow change over night, you hated how your features looked together. You opened the drawer of your vanity and picked up sponges and brushes, leaving them aside for later use while you chose the different essintials. You had prepared the whole summer break to look pretty. Every day, you followed a new tutorial, improving as you continued. You did all this to look presentable at school.

You thinly spread the foundation across your face, dabbing the liquid evenly all over as you moved onto the next step. You sat there for a long time, perfecting each detail and mole, brushing your brows and coating your eyelashes with mascara, and lastly smacking your lips together after applying lipstick.

You stood in front of your larger mirror that you had ignored and hidden away since you never wanted to see yourself ever, but now you felt prepared. In your eyes you looked prettier. You wore your hair differently, you had earrings and necklaces, the school uniform from last year looking a lot better than you remembered. The confidence boost put a smile on your face as you made your way downstairs and made yourself breakfast.

In the kitchen, your mum was sipping her coffee calmly, but as she saw you walk in, her eyes widened in shock, but she didn't say anything. "Good morning!" You greeted happily, and she waved her hand slowly, still trying to process what was happening. "You look different." She comments, and you are content with that reply, and answer, "Thank you, mum!" You proceed to eat your breakfast and then made your way to school.

At shcool, you felt everyone's eyes hooked on your face. The corridors got quiet when you walked by, and you heard murmurs and whispers about you, "Is that really y/n?" "No way..." "What happened." You didn't know what context to put it in and just walked with hurry in your steps, wanting to get to your class and focus on your studies.

Lunch also happened to be no different compared to before your make over, the group of three girls made their way to your table, cackling amongst themselves, planning what to do today. You, who already finshed your lunch stood up to walk away, not wanting to have an encounter with them, until one of them, the blonde barbie, knocked into you with her lunch tray, spilling her food and drink all over you. "oops!" he chuckled cheerily, enjoying the laughs and fingers pointed at you from around her in the cafeteria. You angrily stood up and rushed over to the bathroom, feeling embarrassed once again.

v. "I WANT TO CHANGE SCHOOLS." You say to your mother after a long while of thinking, fearing that you might make the wrong decision, but what could possibly go worse than how it already is? Your mother is sneering at you from the side as she puts down the bags of groceries by the sink. She hums, and you wait for her reply, feeling your heart beat through your ribs, beating so hard that you start belive it'd jump out of your body any second. To be fair, you'd rather for that to happen than to be rejected of this preposition. "Are you sure?" She asks with uncertainty in her voice after silence, and you nod your head, "Of course." "Think about it for a little more, and then we can ask your father when he returns home." She says and walks away. How much longer could you ponder it when you're already certain.

You help her organise the groceries, washing them in the sink to sterilise it of bacteria before placing it in either the fridge or freezer and taking your sweet time, not knowing what else to do other than lay in your bed or be on your phone scrolling through social media.

So, that's exactly what you did for the past hour or so after your chores.

Of course it was boring, but you had nothing else to do. Homework was done, your room was clean and you could only wait for dinner with your father. You heard the sound of the stove from your room, and rushed down to help prepare with your mother. You plated the dinner table, helped your mum with the dishes and washed them afterwards, now you waited in your seat for your father to arrive home from work.

You hear the door slide open, the sound of keys jiggling from the entrance. You sit straight in your seat, resembling a meerkat on its legs as you inspect the person who enters the kitchen. Your father walks in with his coat still slung over his shoulders, his briefcase slamming onto the kitchen counter while he sighs. "Hello, dad!" You greet him cheerfully, and he simply nods his head in your direction. Your mum rose from her seat to help him with his jacket and hat, but he just shrugs her off, and you notice both of their irritated moods.

Dinner was quiet - the sound of utenstils hitting each other and then being left on the plates filled the house. "y/n wanted to ask something." Your mum blurts out, wanting something to happen, being too awkward in this stale atmosphere. You see him look at you from the corner of your eye and he clears his thoat. "Really? What is it?" He asks, and you manage to utter the same statement from before. It takes a moment before you get a reply again, but he says, "I'll think about it." You pleaded with both your parents to let you change schools until they finally caved in with an extended sigh.

vi. YOU WALKED INTO THE FULL CLASSROOM feeling everyone's eyes glued on you, the feeling being vagualy familiar yet different. Some leaned over to their friend, whispering something, but as you saw them and they made eye contact with you, you wanted to shove yourself inside a locker. "Everyone, this new student ..." You zoned out her speaking until she placed her palm on your shoulder and asked you to intruduse yourself to everyone. "Hello, I am y/n l/n, and I really hope we can all be friendly," You said, and then walked over to the empty seat that the teacher pointed at.

As you take a seat, you take extra notice of your bench mate. Oh, how beautiful she was, her hair looked neat, her skin looked perfect and her eyes... You finally took a seat and did what everyone else did - copying what the teacher wrote. After class, you observed your schedule, confused by where to go. This school was big, and you were a new student who just joined, there was no way you could ask anyone else for help except the teachers, but the one in you room had already left. The girl from beside you tapped you on the shoulder and you turned your head curiously.

"Do you need any help?" She asked, and you nodded. "Help would be appreciated, thanks."

You spent the day with her, laughing and talking like never before. It was comforting to have someone like her beside you. At the end of school, she walked you outside of school and there you saw a group of other people gathered, and they waved in your direction. You turned to see your newly made friend, Yoona, waving back. Her pace quickened as she rushed over to the group, pulling you along by the sleeve of your uniform when she noticed you standing still.

It was a fairly small gang, but they still stared at you as you arrived. They all greeted each other, hugging and chatting till Yoona introduced you to the rest. Her voice sounding so smooth.

As she spoke, you noticed this guy. His hair was long and swept in waves, his eyes soft and brown filled with warmth and kidness. You learnt that his name was Jake from your friend's introduction. "Y/n, wanna come to karaoke with us?" She asked, and you shook your head. "Sorry Yoona, but I gotta head home now" you say, not wanting to interrupt the harmony established amongst the people. She nodded understandingly and let you go, waving her farewell.

On your way home you realised you had made a new friend. A real one at that, but thoughts of insecurities snaked its way into your mind. What if she was just being kind? To say that this could possibly be one of many occurrence was high, and the possibility that you'd fit in was low.

vii. YOU FOUND YOURSELF IN THE PARK with them. You've come to the realisation that a new start was exactly what you needed. Your feet swung you back and forth on the swing, hearing the laughter of everyone around you and feeling the warmth in your heart expand. You had gotten close to everyone, but Jake seemed to have a special place in your heart for some reason.

"Anyone wanna go to the arcade?" Someone called out, and everyone said yes, including you who never went along with them. On the way there, you walked along side Jake, chatting with him and joking. "So what made you change schools so suddenly." He questioned, and you shook your head with an awkward chuckle, "Nothing, I just wanted to." Jake had this friendly smirk on his face as he nudged his shoulder against yours, "you can't be serious. You probably had a lot of friends there." You had your eyes focused on the road as you tried to comply a decent reply. "I mean-" as you were about to answer, everyone had already arrived at the arcade. You found this to be the perfect escape.

Everyone rushed inside, being bombarded with games and bright lights. Almost immediately, you spotted the claw machines. You eyed it like it was candy. There were many plushies, but you really really wanted the bunny one. Jake who was close by saw the way your eyes lit up and approached you with his hands in his pocket. "If you beat me in any game, I'll get you that plushie." He says, and you turn to look up at, his lips being extremely close to your face. "Are you sure you wanna bet?" You asked and he nodded his head, "Go ahead, choose a game." You pointed at an air hockey board and Jake ushered you over there with his palm resting on your shoulder.

You played a couple of games, and you were determined to win. Jake, not so much. His eyes roamed everywhere except for the hockey puck, his eyes landed on your concentrated face a handful of times, observing your reaction to each goal. You easily won and rushed over to his side, cheering. Your smiles were contagious, and Jake laughed, exposing his pearly teeth. "You wanted that white bunny, right?" He asked, and you nodded. "You could get whichever one, really." He made his way to the machine, you standing beside him. Jake kissed his coin before inerting it into the machine. It took him many tries before he sighed and collected his calm once more. "You don't really need to continue, Jake." You tell him, but she shakes his head and stretches his arms and back. "I'll get it this time. I might need more luck though." You see him point at his cheek with a smug smile. "That's silly." You reply sarcastically and he pleads with you giving you the puppy eyes before caving in. You stand on your toes and quickly peck him on the cheek shyly. Your heart was pounding and you could feel your cheeks turn rosy at the act.

He winks at you once before turning to the machine with one last try. His focus is evident in his fierceful gaze and you also hope for him to win this time, mostly becuase you start to feel bad for all the coins he's lost.

While being consumed by your own thoughts, Jake celebrated his win. He turned around to hand you the bunny, but saw you spacing out. He snapped his fingers in you face and you shook you back into reality. You finally processed the fact that he had won after staring at the plush in his arms. Jake gently hands it to you and you take it with a smile. "Woah! Thank you so much!" You thank him over all the other people's conversations around you two.

The rest of the evening was spent with silent glances that held adoration between the two of you. and eventually, it was time to go home. You all gathered outside the arcade to wave each other off before going their separate ways.

You notice that Jake was taking the same way as you and you stopped in your tracks to let him catch up to you. "Do you also take this way?" You asked him. "Kind of, I actually wanted to walk you home." He rubbed the back of his neck before you two began walking again. "You could've told me before, you almost looked like a creep." Jake chuckled at your remark and said, "I would've, but I guess I got shy." with his thick accent seeping through.

The sound of crickets and owls hooting filled in the silence during the short walk to your front door step. "Thanks for walking me home, Jake." You say as you search for your keys in your purse. He was silent for a while as you unlocked your door. "Y/n, I have something to ask you." You turned to him curiously and arched an eyebrow. He was obviously nervous as you saw him fidgeting with his own fingers and clearing his throat over and over again to muster up the courage to ask,

viii. "WILL YOU GO TO PROM WITH ME, Y/N?" It had totally slipped your mind that prom was soon. You stood there wide eyed at the question. "You're not joking with me right." You wonder if he's pranking you, but he shakes his head. "Why would I joke with a pretty girl like you." His tone sounds genuine, but you still can't shake this feeling of uncertainty. "There's many other people you could've asked, but instead you chose me." The identical feeling of hopelessness returned after finally being chased away. "Becuase I only want you. Y/n, please." It takes a while for you to open your mouth an reply, but you feel the cold sweat coat your hairline and seeing Jake's soft expression was not helping you to calm down.

"I need to think about it, sorry."

You take notice of how Jake's expression turns dark when you shut the door and lock it behind you. You rush up the stairs and sprint into your room, ignoring your mother's calls. The plushy you had gotten from Jake was thrown onto your bed as you hurry to look out the window, observing him walk away from you. To your surprise, you see him look back at your house. Hurriedly, you pull out a diary that you had hidden under your mattress and write about everything, it isn't until after you're done taking notes that you feel bad for Jake. How must he feel?

You take a look at the plush he gifted you, and groan at the dilemma.

ix. THE NEXT DAY at school you searched for Jake everywhere, but you never saw him. Your mood visibly worsened as the day had come to an end without seeing him once. Yoona took notice of this and decided to question you. "Is everything okay?" She asked you and you nodded your head with a hum. "Yoona, have you seen Jake today?" She shakes her head and pulls out her phone. "He sent me a text this morning that he wouldn't come today since he felt under the weather. Why?" "Nothing, just wondering." You quickly blubber, grabbing your stuff quickly. "Hey, what's the rush? Wait for me alright." You hear Yoona chuckle as she packs her stuff. You apologise and wait for her.

You two part ways at the split road with a hug, and you gradually start to jog your way to his place. You stand there on his door step, bag slung over your shoulder with your fingers twisting the hem of your skirt. "Is it too late to turn around?", you think you to yourself. You shake away these thoughts, and raise your curled up fist to knock, but to your surprise, Jake opened the door, his eyes looked equally as shocked as yours. "Uhm, so I wanted to talk to you." You utter, and see Jake sigh. "Sure, I'm going on a walk if you wanna follow along." You nod and walk behind him.

"So, I've been thinking." His interest perks, and he glances your way. "I'll go to prom with you, but I don't understand why me? I'm not pretty. I'm not that ....good." You voice comes out weak, and Jake stops walking. "Don't say that. Not only are you incredibly beautiful, but you're also so, so kind and caring." He approaches you, his hand gliding up your cheek. "Are you not angry at me?" You ask, trying to avoid his eyes. "Angry? At you? That's ridiculous." He scoffs playfully, and you finally get the courage to look him in the eyes. "I might've been slightly upset since I thought you rejected me, but i guess I have a date for prom!" He smiles brightly and you look at him awestruck. "Of course," you reply and kiss him on the cheek once again with your arms swung around his neck, and his arms instinctively wrap around your waist. "You make me so happy." He is smiling widely as he pecks your face with butterfly kisses.

TAGLIST :: @swaivy

[periwinkla]

I think what I love the most about AA is that characters have a duality to them that I don't see often in media. They have actual flaws and do actual bad things, and it's not glossed over. Phoenix is a fundamentally good person, he helps people at the drop of a hat, risks his life for them. Has a penchant for taking strays under his wing. He believes in people... but also not really. He carries a literal lie detector with him at all times, and only employs people who can also peer into other people's hearts. So is he really that trusting? Sure he trusts his clients are innocent, but he doesn't trust they will tell him the truth at all (there's always something to lie about). He believes himself naive, and that's why he works extra hard not to be. Some people think he changed with his disbarment but I feel like when he actually changed was after Dahlia. He became less and less trusting as time went on. And Phoenix actually does forge evidence and risks his subordinate's career, and he says pretty nasty things sometimes (that one time to Edgeworth had got to hurt, badly, especially if you consider that the note could have been genuine at first, which we don't know for sure), has a pretty tactless and somewhat hurtful sense of humor, brings his daughter to cheat at poker, and doesn't tell said daughter she actually has some family left alive. He's secretive, elusive and cryptic, and masks it under a false pretence of goofiness. Miles is, by contrast, very easy to read. He may appear emotionally stunted but is one of the more emphathetic characters. He realizes when he's wrong and immediately needs to correct those wrongs. He grows uneasy and uncertain and eventually recognizes when he's mistaken. By the end of it he begins to help people naturally, without even thinking about it as much as he would have in the past. He helps so many people, he has basically got Phoenix's savior complex 2.0 but the healthy kind where he doesn't jump off a bridge. But... he was also actually cruel, and did send innocent people to their graves (was he really so naive to believe whichever defendant came his way was guilty?). He feigned his death disregarding other people's feelings, and while you could say he had no obligation towards Phoenix (apart from basic decency and respect towards someone who had turned his life around to save him), he still abandoned Franziska, who was still just a kid and had just found out about what her father did. She probably thought, at some point, that the apple didn't fall that far from the tree. That's it's somehow her fault as well. He may be rude and antagonistic, frank to a fault. Isn't afraid of telling stuff to your face. But he also cares about the people he loves so much, to the point he doesn't hesitate to risk his career and break the law multiple times. He may appear a pessimist but he's pretty idealistic at heart, it's quite funny that his favourite show is about an hero of justice, isn't it? Godot is... well, we don't know much about it from before his coma, but he definitely shared Mia's sentiments for helping people in their hour of need. But when he wakes from a 6-year coma he's so broken that he just pins the blame on the most absurd person to blame it on, settles on a complicated plan, and also prosecutes on that particular murder he should just confess upon. Iris was sweet, innocent, self-sacrificing. She knew absolutely nothing about the world apart from what Bikini or her sister told her. She was naive and falsely thought she could fix everything, that her sister was salvageable, that she could save Phoenix. But she still ended up lying to the person she loved and abetting a murder. That's why I love these characters so much. They're interesting and their stories make sense. People don't remain unchanged from what happens to them. People are multi-faceted and complex. You can't sum them up in a bunch of characteristics and aspect them to act on every single one of them, always, consistently. Sometimes people break. They make mistakes they regret, ...and some they don't.

[manchasama]

In light of Nartothelar finishing the comic I commished from them, I am going to spend my Friday night ~productively~

So. The original idea was posted in 2022. And like all my fics, I think about them a lot, and notes to myself, come up with breakthroughs, change plots around, etc etc etc. And I would SWEAR I posted some of this, but I can’t for the life of me find it. And so. So. Sooooooo.

I’m gonna post the current plot of the RoadTrip!AU :> There will be some repeat beats, and it certainly isn’t the MOST fleshed out fic, but it should give a pretty good idea of what the fic should look like, and give a little more context to the comic.

Let’s start it like we did before. Emmet has been searching for Ingo for...a long time now.

Only that’s not entirely accurate, is it? He’s continued to work at the subway, continued to perform both his and Ingo’s duties diligently, allowing the authorities to perform their exhaustive investigation. Because that is what he’s supposed to do. That is the most anyone can do.

He wakes up every day (to an empty room). He feeds his Pokemon (and Ingo’s). He gets ready for the day (not looking in the mirror but aggravatingly aware of its presence; he also can’t bring himself to cover it). He pauses for a moment as he reaches for his coat (there are still two on the rack).

The day proceeds as normal. He walks to work. Greets the same people every day. Stops for coffee (the second cup isn’t taken, but he gives the barista a sad smile of thanks). Greets the depot agents and gets the day started.

Singles train in the morning (hard part first). Lunch with Elesa (a bright spot in his day). Double train in the evening (end on a good note). Walks home, occasionally battling an over-eager out-of-towner who challenges him. He can’t do anything but his best, and never really understand when the overwhelmed beginners get mad at him for it.

Dinner (at an empty table), loud Pokemon around him (to cover the silence). A few endless hours of going over reports, clippings, cold-trails gone colder, before he forces himself to stop. Goes to bed (in an empty room).

Emmet wakes up (to an empty room). He can’t stand it anymore.

He knows Ingo is alive, knows it in a way that others can’t understand. A “gut feeling” doesn’t help with a search, after all. So, he has to go out and search himself. Take the avenues others can’t or won’t. Find the impossible and make it true. He’s determined!

And in the impulsive way that Ingo had never been able to fully curve, Emmet up and leaves with barely a phone call to work to let them know he wouldn’t be in for a verrrry long time. (He tells them he won’t be in, and they wish him to get better soon. He corrects them; he is not coming into work ever. Or until he finds Ingo. He hangs up on the ensuing chaos to finish packing what he needs and wrangling his Pokemon.)

Cue Elesa barging in the house on him before he can finish up (she was called in by the depot agents). She absolutely pins him down and demands more details, of course, and once she realizes he is serious she calls in the big guns and gets Drayden on the phone. To her consternation, he is less supportive in her efforts to stop Emmet. (Drayden knows his boys, knows their cores too, and was honestly counting the days until Emmet cracked).

Elesa comes around to it (she has watched him become so faded, and this is the first sign of his old spark that she’s seen), but insists he slow down just a bit. He needs to wrap up properly at Gear Station, make sure his place is taken care of while he’s gone, and most importantly say his proper goodbye to her. (She will support him, and worry for him, and always be here when he’s ready to come home.)

Emmet begins scouring the world for help. His first stop; tracking down the local legends. In this world, while they are rare and elusive, there isn’t just One legendary Pokemon. Zekrom and Reshiram are extra elusive to humanity because of the History. But Emmet knows the general whereabouts of one trainer who has a Zekrom. And so he goes to find N.

(It’s pointless to keep this secret in these notes, but in the story it would not be obvious yet that Emmet is a Reshiram turned human. Surprise lol. But the interaction with N would be so interesting! Seeing N from an outsider pov react to a Pokemon that chose to become human. Having Emmet confront Zekrom who is not his brother, but understands. “I miss the you who isn’t you.”)

((Fun fact; I waffled SO LONG on deciding which dragon was which brother. In my notes about this part, I had Zekrom!Emmet lol. I STILL say either is good, but I have chosen and I will stick to it. Plus now I have art for it so it’s set in stone 8> lolol))

The scene is going to be a mash up of N and Emmet metaphorically circling each other warily, and Emmet and Zekrom butting heads. Zekrom definitely approves Emmet’s pursuit of his ideals (It’s a Truth, Emmet would argue), but the situation is beyond their limited powers.

Little snippet from my notes.

Emmet, staring at N. “You have a Zekrom.” Emmet is not so sure he’s comfortable, but he also cannot be stopped.

N, wary. “What a strange what of phrasing it. But yes, I have Zekrom.”

So it goes, so it goes. Emmet zeros in on the Pokemon who are said to grant wishes, but does not see hide nor hair of it. He tracks down a Pokemon said to be able to create strange portals, but they are the least helpful of all. He travels to Sinnoh, and for a while it seemed promising.

He looks for Uxie, the pokemon of knowledge. The lake trio is curious about him, but ultimately says nothing of import before vanishing. Uxie does grant Emmet an image of spear pillar maybe hinting Ingo is there, but provides no context.

At spear pillar there was a reaction, a swelling of power, of presence. But it fades away, leaving Emmet alone again. For whatever reason they found him wanting perhaps. (Dialga and Palika are unable to mess with the timeline during Hisui, it's too fragile to meddle with. Thus they can do nothing to help Emmet.)

One after the other, Emmet wanders the globe. He keeps an ear open for any mundane rumors as well, just in case. Asks if anyone has seen a man with his face. No one ever has.

Emmet is running out of leads. He will Not Let This Get Him Down. So he does everything he can to do it Right when he finds the Celebi, to ask them for help. Despite his preparation, they just flit away unhelpfully. He tries very hard not to get irritated. He might fail in that.

Then he spots a kid peeking out at him, looking as grumpy as he feels. After a bit of coaxing (“I am Emmet. What do you want?”), the kid comes out saying they can help. It takes a bit, but Emmet works out this is a Celebi that wants to be human. It’s not a common desire, and most Pokemon don’t have the power or ability to do it themselves, but it did it. And it still cant figure out how to fit in with humans, how to act like them. In the rare case it’s not immediately called out as a Pokemon in disguise (“It’s not a disguise! I am human now!”), it’s still considered far too strange to most people, who keep their distance. So it returned home to rethink its strategy. If Emmet will help it with that, then Celebi will help him.

As for how it can help, it confirms that Ingo is not in that time. Emmet counters that what can Celebi do as a human kid? Because the act of turning human is turning human. It’s not a disguise, it’s not an illusion. Humans and Pokemon think differently, react differently, have different desires and motivations. A Pokemon who truly changes loses most of their powers, because a human mind doesn’t work well with the instinct that drive those powers.

And in reverse, they can’t just change back, because they would lose what they gained as humans. Lose that way of thinking, that sense of self. It’s like running a sentence back and forth in a translator; what you get back is twisted from what it once was, and you know you’re not who you were. You can get close, but you will never be that person again. It’s not something done lightly.

(It’s impossible to lose all the power, because that too is inherent to who they are as well.)

The Celebi admits they can still do some minor time travel. Small jumps, and they can only hold the portal open for a short time. It takes a lot of power, so they’ll need to rest in between. Plus they don’t know exactly when Ingo is either. But they won’t change back into a Celebi, so he can take it or leave it.

It’s the first solid lead Emmet has. It’s less than ideal (lol) that Ingo got lost in time, but it explains why no one has been able to find even a hint of a lead. He will absolutely will take Celebi up on its offer without hesitation. The first lesson? Giving yourself an identity. He insists on Celebi choosing a name, because if someone else chooses it for them, it’s too much on the Pokemon side of things. She chooses ‘Anya’, and is now that much more human.

Now that he has direction, Emmet now has to figure out the method. Without knowing when he needed to go, he knew he’d have to cover a lot of ground to make sure that they didn’t miss Ingo along the way. On foot wouldn't do. Travel Pokemon would be better, but exhausting for all. There was one thing that Emmet was verrrrrry qualified to drive however. It just needed to be made portable.

He decides to gamble on a crazy idea. It was a mental exercise he and Ingo did as kids, a fun little project that had no use but was fun/cool to figure out how to do it. They've always had the idea of fighting on a train, and they were making their own. It was an engine that would travel overland, with a moving rail instead of staying on a track. Parts of it were still hypothetical, they never got around to working the logistics before the battle subway became a thing, but the train itself exists.

It's a steam train designed to work either on electric or fire to heat it (it exists! I found an article on it, pretty fun), and they would be having Pokemon to help with the various aspects of running it. Another reason they didn’t pursue it was because they would never have gotten the okay to have a train careening around the country side without a set path, but lol shhhhh.

(Fun fact, they have designed the conductor’s area with a switchable plate that connects to the water boiler. It can conduct heat/electricity to heat the steam needed to drive the train. Yes, it’s designed so they can tap into their fire/electricity powers to run the train while they are driving it.)

Thus Emmet dusts off their idea and gets to work on making it a reality. As quick, safe transport, a home base built in? It's perfect. To make it work, he needs a few things. One is of course the train itself. They used to spend their free time fiddling with it just as a fun side project, so it's not in bad shape.

The second thing he needs, which they never fully worked out a method for, are the tracks. Desperation is an intense motivator, and he has a terrible wonderful idea on what to do. He will need enough track for the length of the train he plans to take (engine and a car or two), plus leeway for maneuvering. And he needs something that will move the tracks. What better than a group of psychic Pokemon with enough precision to be able to lift and lay the track in a moving railroad. With the benefit of being able to handle terrain not normally maneuverable, if they keep a cushion of psychic power beneath the rails to keep them straight.

Why not just have them move the train? Because the train is way heavier and would exhaust them faster. Plus it’s much easier for him to control it himself than trying to control the Pokemon controlling the train.

So Emmet returns home with child in tow. He is starting to understand that people like to be Informed of things, so he lets Elesa and Drayden know he is around. He does not mention Anya lol.

Emmet and Ingo need to have a house in this AU, large property for both their pokemon and their hobby. It’s definitely more edge town, but still within walking distance of Gear Station because I say so. 30 minute walk? Sure. Emmet goes to uncover their project and starts going over it to determine what work is needed.

The work needed on the train is minor, he and Ingo had kept it in working condition over the years, and only in the last bit when Ingo vanished did Emmet let it sit untended. So he turns toward planning his task force. The rail needs precision though, so it can’t just be any partner.

Chandelure chimes in at this point, and she and Emmet have a heart to heart over things. Chandelure wants to be the one to help, has to be the one to help find Ingo. She hasn’t been able to control anything, let her control this. Emmet of course is grateful to her, but insists that it can’t be just her. Plus, he needs her help sensing Ingo in their travels, and how can she do that if she is concentrating on the train? She still learns telekinesis despite that, and is ready and willing to help if needed. She is the most skilled, and will be able to teach other Pokemon what’s needed.

Elesa shows up as Emmet is working on the train. Elesa meets Anya. Elesa calls Drayden to let him know. Drayden is busting down that door within the hour to meet his grandchild. (“She is not my child” “Such an adorable grandchild!”) Grandniece? W/e lol

So part of the story at this point would be Emmet trying to figure out what Pokemon he needs to find for his needs. I had some initial ideas, and some newer ideas, and I’ll be copying both here. If you’ve seen this before, that’s why :>

Some possible pokemon to consider and discard

Gothitelle - can see trainers lifespans. Very much a turn off to emmet, but also not suited for fiddly work

Abra line - not ideal, but powerful psychic. Emmet was going to settle for one, because he figured the high intelligence would help it understand what was needed and be accurate, if one wanted to help him.

Hypno line - predatory powers, not helpful for emmet’s quest. Puts targets to sleep.

*Espeon - would be a good battle partner, but not what he’s looking for. Plus he does not think he’d be able to befriend an eevee to the point it would evolve for him (ha ha haaaaa)

Wynaut line - no particular trait he’s looking for. A last choice

Spoink line - a possibility. Its powers could be used on items as well as enemies, so it might make a good choice. Spoink not being able to stop bouncing is a worry tho, meaning it needs special care to be kept healthy.

-Chinling line - no particularly good traits, plus a friendship requirement for evolution. A last choice. (wild ones follow the train eventually)

Munna line - no no nope if it created shapes based on emmet’s dreams he might cry. His dreams, not food.

*Solosis line - hardy! Able to survive in many difficult terrains! However most want to be battle partners, so he has a hard time finding any who want to help run the train. He is disappointed, thought it was going to be his solution since they are more powerful in groups. - It is more interested in physical battling. Emmet appreciates the enthusiasm, but it doesn’t really help his cause. Until it handshakes with Espurr. It’s not the same as linking up with another reuniclus, but it is able to help guide espurr to control their powers better. Useful as backup/emergency situations.

Elgyem line - Emmet does not like the messing with mind aspect of the pokemon. Might do in a pinch. A last choice.

Lunatone - Weaker during the day, and Emmet doesn’t plan on driving at night much. Might be good as a backup for that. But also not being able to pair with Ingo and Solrock make him sad.

Solrock - More helpful than Lunatone, but same applies. He wants to pair with Ingo if he were to partner with one. Also for both psychic is a secondary trait so weaker than other choices

*Espurr line - Emmet found out about it on his travels. He is charmed. He desperately wants to tease ingo about it. He wants one. It’s completely practical he promises. - First attempt, but he quickly realizes they will not be able to help. They can’t control their powers with enough delicacy. However they still really want to travel with Emmet, and so he gains a companion.

Hattena line - A possibility. Definitely a difficult personality to work with, would have to be handled with caution. (Eelektross does not like, and Emmet ends up discarding)

Mr Mime - A good choice, based on its abilities. Emmet might have gone for it

*Natu line - Emmet wants to find a Xatu. He needs its direction to help direct them which way in time to travel. It helping with the rails is secondary to that. - Emmet hears about Xatu’s ability to see past/future. He manages to convince either a Natu or Xatu to accompany him, but they are disinclined to help with the train. Still, they DO indicate he should start traveling to the past. He takes that as a good sign. (I like the idea of a Xatu flying above the train, though their dex says they stay stationary. *shrugs*)

Ralts line - More of an emotions pokemon, but the later evolutions would make fine battle partners. Not a top choice, but not last either.

-Woobat line - Elesa wants him to get one. He doesnt need a feels good pokemon! (He might get one) (Skyla totally makes him take one)

Sigilyph - More of a guardian. Not a first choice for the rails. Emmet doesn’t quite get how they think.

Indeedee - May not have heard of them. They would be good candidates, because they like to serve, but not sure they’d want to do physical labor for that.

Slowpoke line - too slow. Nope.

Exeggutor line - An interesting pokemon, but impractical for the trip

Girafarig - Would make such a fun battle partner, but not a strong psychic. Discarded.

Meditite line - Psychic power mostly to bolster its fighting style. Discarded.

Blibug line - Emmet would want an orbeetle, so it depends on if he runs across an entry for this or not. Good choice tho.

Baltoy line - Not quite a fit for what Emmet needs. Too old, might be hard to convince it to partner up. Might consider it as a last option.

Beldam line - Emmet considers it! Even if the psychic power isn’t enough, the steel affinity makes them more likely to be able to move rails well. He would need four of them tho, which puts them lower on his list.

Bronzor line - Emmet doesnt need a pokemon who makes it rain. But it is an interesting one. Lesser choice.

Delphox - Emmet doesnt have time to train one up to the final evolution right now. But he wonders if Ingo would have liked one.

Inkay line - Like Eelektross can float and survive out of water. Possibility

Emmett starting his journey to find the right kind of psychic Pokemon he needs to work the rails. His first stop is to find an Espurr. It’s a logical choice. Shush Anya, it has nothing to do with little frown and empty behind the eyes stare.

Honestly tho, he does actually try to find a good partner among them. First of course they have to find where they can be found. Then he has to see if any would join his cause. Some want to fight, some want to join TO fight, but none really care about his need for a psychic lifter.

He does run across one who isn’t interested in fighting, who shadows him as he goes around looking for a partner. Every time he asks if it wants to join him, he’s met with a blank look, so he figures that’s a no. Finally though he’s just about ready to throw in the towel, when he all but trips over it being too close to his legs. He apologizes and goes to head off, but it keeps. Following. He asks again if it wants to go with. Blaaaaank. Still follows. Finally he starts getting a clue that it just doesn’t communicate as expressively as most Pokemon. (He might be a little more in love with it). This time he is more patient, and figures out that it does want to go with and help him out.

They go through some training, trying to get the Espurr up to a base level for the job. Espurr doesn’t pass the training unfortunately, but Emmet is not about to abandon it over that. He may not have a conductor, but he does have a new partner.

Next area is to find the Reuniclus. Now this is a battle arena, and Emmet would normally be delighted by this. His Pokemon certainly are. It’s definitely hard not to have fun with such a challenge to over come. The more of them there are, the more powerful they are. None of them want to partner up tho, despite the fun battles, except one. Emmet explains he does not need a battle partner, but someone who will help with the rails. It is dismissive, going to head off. Emmet decides to come up with a compromise. He will take it on as a battle partner if it helps, but only if it can help Espurr with its control.

The Reuniculus agrees to try it out, and we have more training with the pair. They work out how to psychic handshake between species, and while it’s shaky, it’s usable. Reuniculus actually finds the exercise fun, challenging, so it’s not as put out as before, and now is enthusiastic about the trip.

Emmet takes a break from finding psycics to help to track down a Xatu. This would be an Emmet Anya chapter, as they talk over the logistics of the travel. Anya insists she can do it, even limited by human form, he should know that. (Not saying outright, but to those in the know it would be an obvious nod to Emmet’s situation.). He agrees she knows her own powers well, and he will take her word at it. But which way should they go? Does she know? She does not, just that Ingo isn’t in THIS time, and that’s not right. It’s hard to put into human words.

So they decide to try and find a Pokemon who can help their dilemma. The Xatus are definitely stand-offish, and most ignore their questions and requests for help. Perhaps it comes to them camping out, discussing the trip in question, and one of the Xatu overheards and is interested in such a journey. Seeing the past and future is all well and good, but traveling it would be an Experience. Once they get the understand that it will help them, Emmet asks which way. It indicates the past. Emmet asks if it’s sure it’s not just looking at Ingo before he disappeared, since that is what is tripping up Anya most. It assures them it’s MUCH better at this than she is. And thus a small rivalry is started.

Emmet decides to try the Abra line. He figures they are known for being able to communicate with humans when inclined, so it would be easier to convey what they need, as well as get a group of them to help. He just needs numbers at this point. Plus the Abra line is likely to be quite precise, so more helpful than his current explosive duo.

There are others he’s considering of course. The bug Pokemon is high on his list, but he figures he needs to put aside certain preferences and go for ones better for his cause. Alas.

While on the hunt for an Abra colony, he runs across a small group of Eevees in distress. (There is a pair of twins in the group, who walk around almost literally attached at the hip. They move in unison, and it brings a melancholic sort of fondness to Emmet.) They are being pursued by some bad trainers, who are trying to force the Eevees into certain evolutions for some underground battle ring. Either to participate or sell, something like that.

That will be an Event, where it’s Emmet versus bad trainers. He’s going to have to teach some lessons, probably more than once if it’s a group. I think he’ll have to run across them a couple of times. An initial “saves them but they are gone by the time he chases off their attackers” situation. And then he keeps running into people harassing this group of Eevees as he treks around looking for Abra.

Once Emmet catches on that this is an organized group and not just some bad trainers, he gets serious about eradicating them. Taking them out, and calling in local law to get them arrested and all.

Derailed from his original goal, he heads back out to again find the Abras. The Eevees find him first. They camp out with him, he and Anya tell them about their goals because they seem interested. The next morning the lot of them evolve into Espeons and present themselves like “here we are!” Basically Emmet accidentally befriends the Eevees so hard they evolve to Espeons just so they can help him out. He now has his task force.

(I would like to add this hilarious bit one of my friends provided for this scenario: extremely blurry video titled INSANE UNOVAN BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF FIVE POKEMON TRAFFICKERS AT ONCE (NOT CLICKBAIT) (HOW IS HE DOING THAT??))

Can you believe we’re not even at the road trip yet??? This is why it’s so hard for me to write, because I just keep adding MORE in.

I don’t know how much time would be spent, if any, on showing the training, but we’d rejoin when they are wrapping up preparations for the trip. Elesa is a frequent visitor, probably have some rotating people visiting scenes. Elesa insists on Emmet taking a rotom, and Skyla pops up with Swoobat. I think this will be a character development chapter, setting up personalities with each other.

The day before Emmet intends to leave, Drayden is in Emmet’s house as the final preparations are made. We’ll have a heart to heart between adoptive father figure and trying-not-to-spiral eldritch being. It will be great. (Really tho, Emmet is mostly just vibrating to get started. He knows he’s going to have a long journey ahead of him, but he’s optimistic that he’ll find Ingo at the end.)

Elesa and Skyla come over in the evening after Drayden leaves, and they can do their exchange then. Following day, Emmet gets to set off. I think we can even have the depot agents at the send-off? We’ll have to see how close they are in the previous chapters.

The train is both transport, protection, and sleeping/living quarters. It's able to hold all their Pokemon, plus the new ones, and an astonishing number of Joltiks. The reason to utilize tracks and let the train run as a normal train is that the train is heavy. It would take considerable more pokemon to carry it at speeds and lengths that they need. Track is much easier to move, though it does require precision and concentration. The Espeons get really good at it, however. Especially the twins :>

So begins Emmet's journey through time in search of Ingo. He retains his positive outlook, never letting the failures get him down. Sure, there are the occasional rumors that pop up about the phantom train that can be seen traveling the countryside, but it's never seen twice, and usually doesn't even get a footnote in history. Emmet isn't careless about driving near towns or roads, and those start to vanish the further back they go.

Almost on the first jump, Anya over does it. She wants to prove to Emmet that she is useful, that she can do this, and she pushes the jump too far back for her to handle. First thing to address is that Anya has been overconfident in her abilities. It’s not that she thinks she’s better, it’s that she’s determined to push passed healthy limits. So while she can open portals, they are taxing, and the further back she goes the more taxing it is. The first jump is a doozy, back at least 50 years, and she nearly passes out for it. Emmet is doing a heckin concern over it.

When she tries to brush it off, Emmet gets mad. She gets mad back. It’s argument time!

Anya thinks Emmet is being too condescending of her and her abilities. She said she’d help, and this is how she helps! Why is he even complaining? Doesn’t he WANT to find his brother?

Emmet is wondering why she is being so stupid about it? What good does it do them if she kills herself traveling? He does not want to be stuck in the past thank you very much. He does not understand why she’s trying so hard for someone she barely knows.

Because of how she over taxed herself, she can’t really tap into her power for a while either, so they are stuck in that time for now. Emmet is aggravated he cannot seem to communicate properly with her. He is concerned! But not because he is stuck, because she is not doing her safety checks! He already knew it would take a long time. This is Not the way to do it.

She is aggravated because she knows she could do better if she let go of her human side. She’s assuming he’d ask that of her to go faster, and is lashing out prematurely.

It takes a while for them to communicate and hash things out. By the end, she realizes he is fine with her human limited efforts, and does not think less of her for it. Emmet has a better time getting across that they are partners, and that this is not something to rush into dangerously.

They agree that they’ll just travel the country side for now, until she recovers from the strain. They don’t know how long it will take tho. So they’ll just…look for clues. They decide to leave Unova tho, because it’s too close to modern day, and they risk seeing someone they know and messing with time. Off to a neighboring region!

(Along the journey, some chimecho take a liking to riding along the current of the train. Their chimes are a soothing constant on the journey. Still wild tho)

So arrival in Alola, which does not have an organized league presence. Is the island challenge still a thing? It’s a smaller region, also lots more water in between, so they tend to park the train on the island and go walking to explore. What lesson should be learned here I wonder.

Learning to Relax (tm)

I need to research Alola and find out. It’s definitely vacation-esque tho, which probably rubs Emmet the wrong way. He was never one to take days off, and this is the very stereotype of a vacation spot. So maybe it’s getting Emmet to learn how to relax a bit.

Alola people work hard in the morning to get all the chores done, then spend the afternoon playing. Emmet first of all finds his work fun, so the separation of the two does not compute. And secondly, playing seems like a waste of time. Why not spend it battling or training? What kind of pokemon things can be done that are not battling?

This I think will be heavy on Emmet and the pokemon interacting. Okay after some research. Since they are looking for clues, they will visit a few places. They will also get sidetracked, which is where Emmet will learn some patience.

First thing upon landing. They decide to park the train, and Emmet tries to figure out where to go next. He has some sparse knowledge of Alola, but not a lot, and of course it’s out dated. Emmet DOES remember that the local TV station is about 55 years old, so it should be in service now. A central hub of information, a good place to start to see if anyone has heard of Ingo before.

When he turns around, all his pokemon are playing on the beach. He is annoyed, because he wants to leave Now. Anya is like “what’s your rush buddy weren’t you the one who told me it’s going to take time?” And Emmet is like That is different. Why are we wasting time messing around?

To the grumbles of his team, he gets everyone back in the pokeballs and on the way. Probably leaves the eevee family to guard the train, since they don’t have pokeballs? Or even if they do, w/e.

Makes it to the TV station. It’s a very relaxed, small time thing. They report on local news mostly, and no one has reports about any new visitors to the island. (Emmet is going to be infamous, poor thing. Small islands love to gossip, and he is the only newcomer in a while. Also how did he get there? Wasn’t by boat.) They promise to spread the word just in case, and where is he going to be staying so they can reach him?

Emmet did not think that far, and doesn’t really want to stay in one place, so he gets the Tourist Treatment. Told about all the hot spots, bragging about the island challenge, etc etc.

I think also Emmet might know about/ask about ultra wormholes, but they have not been discovered just yet. In a few years.

Emmet cannot sit still. He forgoes finding a place to stay, just staying in the train. But days of inaction on the beach is not his forte, and honestly his team tired of it after two days. They are battlers, and a break is nice, but they are all itching to GO. Anya isn’t ready yet tho.

So Emmet finds the Poni Gauntlett. He needs some battles please and thank you. There are some verrrry good trainers here, and Emmet has a fine old time. Honestly, he’d probably spend weeks there happily and not notice. I think Anya gets tired of it real quick, and goes off on her own. Makes her way to Melemele island and finds that orangu place to complain her woes away. It takes emmet a While to realize she is gone. Then he has to go FIND her.

Once he finds her, they once again argue until they are blue in the face. She wants to relax, DO something fun. He thinks battling IS fun. They work our a compromise.

She DID find out about a cemetary on Akala island, that supposedly has memories of people linger. They decide to check it out for Clues. On the way tho Emmet finds his Joltik are Missing. They fucked off to pikachu valley for a snak. The adventures of themb. They get back on track, don’t find anything at the cemetary, and eventually head back to the main island. Anya is feeling up for another jump, so with a quick check in on the tv station (if needed), they’re off again.

One thing that should permeate these chapters is how close the people are to their pokemon. It’s very ingrained in their society, even moreso than modern Unova. It’s a refreshing combo to our two legendaries let me tell you.

The next jump is going to be like 20 years. Emmet will not let her do more than that, for fear of her tiring out again. She argues that it’s too easy for 20 years. Eventually they’ll settle on like 30, and more as she grows stronger.

And that is the end of my notes for Emmet’s journey. Obviously I need More things for them to do over the years, and regions to visit. It’s a lot of research (so if anyone ever has suggestions I am ALL EARS). Until then, just know Things Happen. Eventually, he can sense they are getting closer. He’s not going to explain it (they know after all), but he just knows. Knows they are close. Knows when the next jump is going to be the last. He’s excited, nervous, overjoyed, and so impatient to get there. Anya opens the portal, and they go through it one last time.

Meanwhile, on the other side of history.

Ingo has been in Hisui for a while, and has adapted to living there well enough. He’s been appointed the honor of being Sneasler’s warden, and he’s trying very hard to fit in with the clans. It’s hard though. Something about it doesn’t feel right. Something is missing. Some part of him is so unknown, he just doesn’t feel like himself. But he has no idea what’s missing. Is it just the loss of memories? It feels like more than that. More than missing someone, he is missing a part of himself.

I’m going to have to change the order of events in canon for this to work out, so that Ingo and Rei can meet earlier. Some of the fic will be dedicated to that, and to setting up how Ingo has been fairing in Hisui. I have no notes on this apparently, and I have been fighting a migraine to get this posted tonight, so it’s going to be a bit sketchy. Just means I’ll need to update it later when I flesh it out more! :>

Another thing is that Ingo and Melli are going to spend more time together, because Lord Electrode loves Ingo (electric type solidarity), and Ingo likes to hang out with the Lord. And woe be it that Melli let this Pearl clan upstart mess with his Lord! I am of the opinion that while Melli can be grating, it comes from good intentions. He IS a good and attentive warden. When Adaman goes behind his back to have an outsider interfere with his ward, of course he’s going to be abrasive and condescending. He wasn’t even consulted about a decision being made for Lord Electrode. He had to barge his way in. (Yes, he was excluded because he was going to be a blocker, but still. Kinda douche move!)

Ingo, despite his lack of memories, has that New Yorker Unovian patience. He doesn’t mind a trainer who is confident in their own abilities, even if they can’t quite back it up. It’s the basis for becoming better, he feels. If you aren’t confident in your ability to win, how can you expect to put your all into a battle? If you do lose, train more and come back later. Melli technically does this.

(Ingo’s memory issues are actually exacerbated by the inherent but forgotten knowledge that he is also Zekrom, so none of his broken memories feel fully "right" without that explicit knowledge. One of the side-effects of the side-effects of him being an ex-pokemon who still retains typing, is that Lord Electrode really likes him. So Ingo actually hangs around that area more, finding comfort though he's not sure why.)

So due to immersion therapy, Ingo and Melli do tend to get along okay in this story. In fact, it’s not uncommon for them to be hanging out around Lord Electrode. Okay it’s more of Melli doing his token complaint about Ingo being there, but they do end up discussion the state of the mountains, people they’ve seen passing through, etc. It helps that Ingo wasn’t originally a part of the Pearl clan, and so doesn’t have the historic clan tension. Melli can’t keep up the animosity on his own, especially when Ingo doesn’t understand half the references. And then suddenly Ingo is pushing Lord Electrode out of the way (A distant part of Melli winders how was he strong enough to move the large Pokemon), and Ingo is struck by the frenzied lightning instead.

The thing about the frenzy, is that it latches onto the Pokemon and won’t let go. It drives them into a rage, and their base instinct is to attack. Ingo, however, has a human mind. Human rationality. And something is trying to swallow him whole. The Zekrom side of him is trying to rise to the front and force him to change back. Instinctively, Ingo knows this will destroy who he is, his sense of self, the history he can’t remember. There will be no chance of returning to who he was if he gives in. So he fights it. He doesn’t understand what he is fighting, but he fights it with every bit of himself.

At the same time, the desire to lash out at people, at Melli and Electrode and all the little Voltorbs around him, is almost irresistible. He wants to throw out his pokemon, command them to attack. He knows if he allows himself to do that, they will be infected by this power as well. He can’t do that to them. It hurts so much, he’s so angry, and he can’t hurt anyone. He won’t.

Melli get an up close encounter with a truly angry and terrifying Ingo. If Ingo’s self control was any less, Melli would not have walked away without injury. As it is, Ingo can’t suppress entirely the desire to lash out. It’s not electricity crackling around him, and the arcs of power sting when they hit Melli and Electrode. But with the assistance of Electrode and his pokemon, Melli is able to fend off the uncontrolled attacks, until Ingo gathers enough of himself to flee the area. Melli hesitates too long to try and stop him.

Now the people of Hisui have to deal with the knowledge that the frenzy can affect humans as well. They have no reason not to think that, after all. Rei is tasked with tracking down Ingo, and Melli insists on accompanying him. (He may not admit to Ingo being his friend, but he will explain that Ingo saved his Lord, so it’s his duty to help try and save the foolish old man.)

The thing is, they can't just lob Ingo's favorite food at him to calm him down. For one, they don't know what it is. For two, his brain is more human, so food alone isn't the same kind of comfort. Rei tries to challenge Ingo to a Pokemon battle, hoping that he can wear him down that way, but Ingo refuses to engage with his Pokemon. Every time he starts to lose control, to lash out against Rei and Melli, Ingo flees the area. Fueled by the frenzy, he is able to outmaneuver them to escape.

What Ingo knows in his frenzy is that he wants....someone. He doesn't know who, but he's raging at the world for this person, raging at god too because why not. But he retains enough of his mind to know not to lash out at the people around them. He'll yell at them and drive them off, because he does not know how to calm his rage and fears what he might do. He won't fight them. He WONT. Ingo's disorientation and undirected rage drive him on, but he doesn't know where to go. Ingo is basically terrorizing the highlands with no particular goal except to avoid people and not come apart at the seams, and no one can figure out how to help him.

Something in his subconscious drives him to Spear Pillar. The Zekrom part of him knows it’s the closest place to Palkia and Dialga, to Arceus, as the resident legendaries. Surely they sensed him being here. Surely they could have helped. Surely they know where the one he wants is. Why won't they answer him? (Because he is not a legendary anymore, but a human. Because there are rules. Because they are quite frankly busy with their own frenzied issues.)

Rei and Melli catch up to him there. Rei is again trying to face off against Ingo, but Into continues to refuse to fight. He doesn't want the frenzy to affect his Pokemon (despite the fact they are perfectly willing for that to happen if they can help him). He doesn't want to give himself up (he doesn't even know what this means with his missing memories, but he's resisting reverting to being a Pokemon. He subconsciously knows he could never return if that happened, not the same way).

So these two stories come together at this point. Emmet has realized his search is coming to an end next stop, and Ingo's basically at the end of his rope to fight against the force tearing him apart.

The scene is you have frenzied Ingo, atop spear pillar, being confronted by Rei and others trying to stop/help him. And behind him something appears in a rush of noise, obscured by the billowing steam coming off it. Emmet steps out of it, steam leaking from his mouth as well as he responds to Ingo's current state (Ingo sparking in response as he will always respond to his twin), knowing that they need to battle it out here as humans to save Ingo's sense of self. He's excited and ecstatic, and confident he can drag Ingo kicking and screaming back to himself.

Through the power of "because I the author said so", Emmet understands enough of the situation, can feel the power and frenzy, can sense his twin's distress, maybe even overhears people as he approaches on what's happening/how to fix it. Either way, he challenges Ingo to a battle.

Ingo wants to refuse. He's still irrationally angry, still wants to (bite, scratch) battle, but also HE is here. He's here, but Ingo still can't remember through the anger and fear and pain. Emmet being practical and insistent. Ingo tells him he doesn't want his partners to be frenzied. (Possibly Chandelure goes to his side (and indeed the frenzy bleeds into her almost immediately, but she stays by his side, ready to fight)). (Sneasler is going to be sticking with Rei, being more helpful there without getting frenzied herself).

(When Ingo first sees Emmet, he can't recall the right name. He starts trying to say "Re--" but stops himself, because he knows that's wrong. Emmet definitely picks up on that, and I think it would be nice to have him recite some of his scripts, both as affirmation of Ingo and Emmet, and to jog Ingo's memories. The whole "I am Emmet.  I am a subway boss together with Ingo" that kind of thing.)

In the face of his loved one's determination, he throws out two of his pokeballs (because he knows, he knows Emmet loves double battles more than anything). Emmet lights up, because of course Ingo would do that, even in the most dire of circumstance. He calls out their pokemon, and they have a wild, fantastic battle.

Emmet likes winning more than anything. With each pokemon defeated, more of the golden glow bleeds off. Ingo's pokemon drained the infection from him, and were able to release it with the battles. Ingo could not have done that without giving up his humanity. So in the end, Emmet does win, but so does Ingo lol. (Emmet's delighted laugh "how many new friends/partners did you meet?!" because Ingo keeps sending out more and more. However Emmet has also made new partners along the way.)

Bonus because it makes me laugh and likely wouldn't end up in the story:

During the battle, Rei is calling out that calming the frenzies with the favorite food worked before.  Emmet laughs a bit, reckless and amused.  Gets in close enough to stuff a meal bar or something in Ingo's mouth.  "You're not yourself when you're hungry, brother!"  Teasing.  Ingo getting Irritated and snapping his mouth shut, breaking the bar in half as he roars out Emmet's name because what else are little brothers good at but being an annoyance!  "Didn't work!" Emmet says, not particularly worried about it as Ingo redoubles his effort in defeating Emmet.

(Once we realize it's a twin dragon AU, probably during the Emmet vs Ingo stuff, we can do a flashback to how they decided to become human.  Bbie dragons spying on trainers and their pokemon doing battle.  Emmet's tail wagging in excitement, the weight of his brother on top of him as they spy, Ingo's hand slipping off his head into his face so ofc Emmet snaps back in playful irritation, etc.  They try battling a trainer, but the trainer is more interested in catching them than fighting, and the fear of being caught and separated makes them scramble to escape.  The longing to participate in the epic battles, sure that's what they want to do.  They don't even have to fight directly, just the close bonds, good friends, fun fights.  And ofc finally the transformation into children.  Probably do a Drayden adopts strange homeless children scene)

Some post battle wrapup and scenes. They end up all piling into the train to head back down to one of the settlements. Ingo is still kind reeling from the pain/relief and all that. I think at the very least Rei and Melli are going to be around. Emmet didn't pay them too much mind, more focused on helping his bro, but when Emmet goes to lead Ingo to the train to rest, the other two doth protest, thinking Emmet is taking Ingo away. So Emmet invites them to come with, he mostly wants to get the train to more stable ground and out of the cold.

Preface this with I don't ship the twins with anyone, but I like platonic affection a lot. Emmet sits Ingo on a seat and goes to conduct the train, and Melli sitting awkwardly next to Ingo, no idea what to do. (Possibly some discussion here between them, the “are you human” kind of thing. Still a hopeful/positive AU, so nothing cutting.) Ingo leaning against him in exhaustion, and now Melli REALLY doesn't know what to do.

At some point Ingo gets up to go to the front with Emmet. Just hugs him from behind, careful not to get in the way of what Emmet's doing to direct the train, pressing his forehead against Emmet's back. Not sure if Ingo's gotten or getting his memories back at this point, or if it's a gradual thing, or whatnot. And idk the thought of Melli and his Skuntank getting along great with their Garbador also struck me as charming.

Once tensions ease, Rei probably goes off to save the land and all that, all that’s left is the wrapup and the travel back. Obviously I’m missing a lot of interactions between characters in these notes, as Anya was a later decision to the battle at spear pillar, etc etc. There’s a lot of room here for details and additions. But I think this is the pretty solid foundation of the fic that I will one day hopefully write.

*collapses into a dark room to nurse my poor head*

p.s. Bonus, this song is kind of the inspiration to Emmet's decision to get up and DO something. I'm not one to go "ALL THE LYRICS MUST FIT" when it comes to music, so it's mostly the vibes of the song and the rather "train traveling" kind of beat to it that does it for me.

[namis-gf]

Just saw that you’re open for one piece requests and thought I’d drop by.

Would you consider writing back rub and back kisses hcs for katakuri or marco please? And best of luck with the come back ^^

anon ur so insane how did u KNOW i was thinking obsessively about katakuri for the past two weeks straight... ur too good. i meant to stick closer to the prompt but the plot kinda got away from me, sorry!

summary: strawhat!reader x katakuri meet again after many years apart during the whole cake island arc. luffy has been trying to convince him to join his crew with no success, but maybe he might listen to you?

word count: 969 words / 0.9k

cw: none? i think?

whoever said katakuri was 48 year-old eldest daughter syndrome is absolutely correct. he has so many hangups when it comes to both physical and verbal affection, most of the time preferring to passively sit by and let people bother him. case in point, your captain. instead of immediately setting sail for zou to meet up with everyone, luffy has taken it upon himself to convince the minister of flour that his presence is desperately needed on his crew. permanently.

and, if you're going to be polite about it: things aren't going well. you've watched for two days straight, luffy yelling either to the gentle giant's face (which is still quite a distance from the ground), or attempting to scale the walls of katakuri's home. neither of those particularly difficult for the rubber boy, considering the house slash castle itself seems to be basically falling apart.

you wait. nami often sits by your side, either grouching about the time, plotting your captain's demise, or napping on your shoulder. chopper and brook have taken to an almost betting ring of sorts, getting the remaining residents of komugi island to guess whether their leader will stay or go. so far, the odds aren't in luffy's favour. as usual, you might add.

at the end of their fourth extra night, luffy returns to the sunny. he looks a little downtrodden, yawning, but has somehow gotten a hold of a handful of mochi. "i think katakuri was trying to kill me again, but he lost. the food he makes is really yummy though, shishishi!"

with a sigh of your own, you offer, "let me talk to him, i have an idea."

"you do?" luffy replies, mouth full of sweets, "go ahead!"

"call if you need anything!" chopper chimes in.

nami only shakes her head. "if you don't come back, we'll assume you got trampled to death or something. so don't do that please."

"don't even worry about it, i'm basically a pro social hustler," you tell them, and begin the walk to the castle.

"so you are not a bard, or a songstress, or a very small jester. your presence here confuses me, you did not seem like someone who would ever become a pirate," katakuri tells you, his tone as solemn as ever.

"is this a roundabout way of saying i don't have any talents?" you mock-gasp with flair, "oh you wound me so!"

he stares at you wordlessly. okay, it looks like jokes are off the table.

"but you missed me right?" you try instead, putting on your biggest smile. "you missed me so bad, must be why you look so grumpy all the time."

"is your captain aware of..." he pauses, considers, "does the strawhat know of your past?"

"sort of?" you shrug your shoulders, shifting forward to adjust like you aren't already lying on one of his legs (truly the world's largest couch). "there was never exactly a good time to bring it up, ya know? like how was i supposed to say 'uh hey guys, i used to work here as the world's worst gardener before i got fired'."

"hm, that does seem difficult," katakuri nods. "i could not tell how much they knew, but you are lucky that none of my siblings happened to remember you well enough to say anything."

"small blessings for sure," you do your best to contain a laugh, however the echoing chambers of an empty castle only make it louder. "anyways, cut the bullshit. you're gonna come with me, right?"

his neutral expression shifts into something like a frown, and yet you can tell he isn't exactly angry at your presumptuousness either. "i would like to accompany you. but my duties to my... mother and the family take precedence."

"and if you left, she'd send the whole gang after you."

he sighs again. "yes, that is the most probable outcome. and i would not wish to put the strawhat crew in danger."

"that's charming," you reply, "but also really stupid. and i know you aren't a dummy, right? you've been hanging around this dreary archipelago for your whole life! don't you want to, i don't know, do something? go on an adventure?"

he doesn't respond immediately, but a large hand clumsily pats your head with his pointer finger. you grin, knowing victory must be in sight. "your totally evil mom doesn't even leave her place that often, so she won't even notice that you're gone! and tell me right now that you don't think luffy would be chomping at the bit to fight her again? be serious, mochi-mochi."

all of a sudden the ground shifts under you, and you make an embarrassing yelp as you're dragged up and up and up. katakuri holds your body by the back of your shirt, and you're only partially worried that he could drop you. death by splat on marble floor isn't appealing in the slightest. you're suspended by a shirt pinched between fingers as he squints slightly, as though looking for a secret in your expression.

"fine," he eventually says, "i will go. but if something goes wrong, do not say i didn't warn you."

"ah, you're bringing me back to old times!" you hum, making a familiar grabby hand motion for him to drop you on his shoulder. "except i think uh, the last time you warned me-"

"you got fired, yes," he says amicably, but acquiesces to your request. "left or right?"

"right! i wanna look like a really mean parrot, mr. pirate," you exclaim, laughing as he drops you gently where you'd asked. feeling mischievous, you press a kiss against his neck and watch as his face goes pink. "we should probably go make sure that you won't sink the sunny, though!"

"... and you somehow did not think to check something like that before?"

FIN (FOR NOW)

[bogkeep]

some time ago i watched This Video about ergodic literature and got inspired to get the book S. by jj abrams & doug dorst. i've finally started reading it and i have Thoughts

the video i linked shows and explains the premise of the book, but here's the tl;dr - two students(ish) are writing annotations in the margins of a novel called 'ship of theseus' by mysterious author V M Straka while passing it back and forth. they are getting to know each other as well as trying to solve the mystery of Straka. it's a non-linear epistolary story told through a footnotes, scribbled comments, and inserts such as postcards et cetera.

there's a couple reason this book caught my eye in particular:

- i love "two people getting to know each other through letters/accidental text messages/notes" trope. it may just be the internet denizen in me but i'm a sucker for characters who get to know each other through text.

- immediately intruiged by the mystery author's name, Straka - it means magpie in czech, so i feel like i'm getting a head start on the mystery because i'm the specialest little boy in the world!!!!

- it looks cool as hell

(i purchased a used copy that was apparently a library copy so it feels extra Authentic hehe)

ANYWAY i'm still very early in, but i have many impressions to chew on already. first off, i really love the whole premise/medium, and it looks Really Good. there's a lot of really cool details that make it look authentic (if we ignore the COMICALLY LARGE MARGINS) - the book absolutely looks like something i could find in my grandparents' bookshelf. the comments being written in different colours of pen to signal when in the chronology they were written is very good. everything is pointing to a Very Fun and Immersive reading experience.

howeverrrrrrrrrr

while i Am having fun so far, there's also a lot of details that keep shaking my suspension of disbelief. like i am trying my best to hold on to it - im accepting the Comically Large Margins and the silly premise that these two people absolutely had to pass the book back and forth to communicate. like i am fully on board with that. it's just... i feel like this book is trying to Appear more clever than it actually is?

i think maybe the main problem for Me Specifically is that it's pretending to be a book written by a Probably European author and translated to english, but S. was so obviously written/created by americans and not intended to be read by someone who knows any of the languages they're dragging into this.

i was correct in assuming Straka is meant to be czech, as ship of theseus was originally written in czech - but it's weird to me that the narrative is completely uninterested in like... the original? there is a foreword by the translator, who goes on and on about the mysterious circumstances under which v m straka died, but the fact that the original language is czech is mentioned in a *footnote*. i would think a foreword by a translator would, realistically, say more about their credentials or their actual process of translating. or is that weird??? i took a class in classical literature in uni where that's kind of a big deal so maybe i'm biased???

BUT ALSO the fact that straka's identity is So very mysterious and very possibly a pseudonym... if you're like, genuinely trying to untangle this mystery, wouldn't you make a note about the meaning of the name??? like wouldn't you put a picture of a magpie on your conspiracy board about it?? Straka is absolutely a valid czech surname because most czech surnames are seemingly random nouns or adjectives, but if you think it's a pseudonym then someone made a very deliberate choice!!!! HELLO!!!!!!

then they listed the names of people who are thought to possibly be v m straka (of varying nationalities), and like okay maybe i'm nitpicking but i has to take a pen and fix some of them. they used SOME special letters for some of the names but very sporadically - they wrote vaclav instead of václav, and ekstrom instead of ekström... like at least be consistent if you're going to ignore special letters!

the worst language offender by far is this:

if you want "the monkey dances" it's "opice tancuje". you could also do "opičí tanec" for "the monkey's dance". this particular abomination is causing me physical pain.

one of the first inserts i ran into was a letter written in swedish + a direct translation:

GUESS WHAT I CAN READ SWEDISH TOO... i can't tell if the "original" letter is supposed to be the swedish or the english one - while the swedish seems to be grammatically correct (I THINK), it extremely reads as Something Written In English And Getting As Directly Translated To Swedish As Possible. it reads very stilted and oddly phrased. i get the impression i'm not actually supposed to be able to understand it, it's just here for Flavour, and that's fine! this one i can easily justify as the swedish being the in universe translation.

here's another very small thing that made me sigh very deeply

"at what point does this book stop being straka's alone & become *theirs*?" THE BOOK IS CALLED SHIP OF THESEUS. AREN'T YOU GUYS DOING LITERARY ANALYSIS OVER HERE??? IT'S THE FIRST CHAPTER AND YOU'RE JUST SPELLING OUT THE PREMISE TO ME TO THE POINT OF CONDESCENSION.

like. okay. maybe not everyone knows what the ship of theseus refers to (also i want to point out it feels like a very english language phrase to me. it Does exist in czech but it doesn't sound like a good or catchy title i think) - but i really do feel like two university students doing a deep dive into this book + author would 100% analyse the meaning of the title, that's like 101 level stuff!! this comment would be so easy to save - just have Mr Black Pen add a quippy comment about this being a bit on the nose, or pointing out the aptness or irony of the title, Anything. it would add so much to the believability for me.

like i didn't study literature at a higher education level so maybe i'm completely off base, but i DID study art history, and it seems almost absurd to me that these characters are doing so much digging and mystery solving about the author's mysterious past and rereading all of his books to find out more... and not engage with the basicest basics such as, the original text(s) pre-translation, possible cultural contexts, tHE TITLE... why are they drawing connections from choices made BY THE TRANSLATOR that absolutely would not be there in the original czech!! !!???!!!????!!

anyway my biggest actual problem so far is that i'm really struggling to read the actual ship of theseus. i have fun reading the annotations, but the actual book... i am Struggling. i've never been any good at reading ~*The Classics*~ so it might just not be my vibe, but i'm not sure if TOS is even a Good Book? like in this universe it's Allegedly a classic and very iconic or whatever. and obviously it's a challenge to write A Classic that makes its mark on history. and gods know there's discourse about whether or not The Classics are actually good books and that's way above my paygrade. but idk i couldn't get through chapter 1 without skimming through it because it kept boring me so bad.

i suspect i might just, keep reading the annotations storyline and not bother too much with the 'book' part of the book. i genuinely wanna see where the story goes!! despite my complaints i Am sold on the emotional core of it.

i think the premise rules so hard but i really feel like the authors are too monolingual and american and maybe haven't read that many books????? i can't speak on the latter but the former.............. maybe im the one who's too european

[ladamedusoif]

Tempered in the Fire (Blacksmith!Din Djarin AU) - Masterlist

With his hammer in his hand/He looked right clever… (‘The Blacksmith’, British or Irish folk song from the early nineteenth century)

Series Summary:

Ireland, almost a decade after the rebellion of 1798 was brutally suppressed. In this seemingly quiet part of the country, the people work the land and stay quiet about the recent past. You are an unusual woman in this little world: married, but living alone; a widow, with no certainty that her husband is dead. You have made your own life since he vanished into thin air, managing the smallholding you live on and making some extra money through your skills as a seamstress.

This is a time when the local blacksmith is at the heart of any rural community. One such smith is a man of few words, whose uncertain origins and dark complexion make him stand out among the locals, but whose skills with hammer and anvil have rendered him indispensable. When your local blacksmith is badly injured in an accident and unable to work, you have no choice but to travel on to this man’s forge - and are immediately intrigued by this mysterious, taciturn figure…

Pairing: Blacksmith!Din Djarin x F!Reader

Rating: Mature (series); Explicit (eventual chapters)

Content: Blacksmith!Din AU; historical setting; references to violence; references to domestic abuse; period-appropriate terminology and misogyny; anti-Travelling people discrimination; alcohol; strong language; explicit smut (eventually); technical infidelity; almost certainly incorrect depictions of blacksmithing; some slightly dodgy history (I literally took advanced seminars in this topic but come on, it’s fic); most likely some not quite correct Irish language content (again, I studied it for years so forgive me and move on).

Cross-posted to AO3.

Author’s Note: I spotted a sign at Disneyland for ‘Rose’s Forge’ and @julesonrecord and @lunapascal were immediately on the ���which P boy would be a blacksmith?” train. And there’s only one answer, isn’t there? It’s Din.

This is intended as a short series of around four chapters - essentially a chance for me to scratch the blacksmith!Din itch, while also indulging in some historical fiction set in my homeland. In part, it’s inspired by the image of the blacksmith in eighteenth and nineteenth century popular culture and their role in supplying rebel weaponry in the 1798 uprising against British rule.

And it’s also inspired by the image of Din sweaty and beautiful at an anvil, because why the hell not?

The image I’ve used for the header image, by the way, is a wonderful engraving from about 1833 by the French artist Eugène Delacroix, who’s one of my absolute favourites. It’s called ‘Un Forgeron’ (A Blacksmith) and you can see it in all its glory here. (Yes, it’s hot as fuck.)

Chapter List:

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

[alittlelessalone]

I have an idea for a fun TGCF Beefleaf fix it fic. Idk if I’ll ever write it, but I wanted to share the idea.

Okay. So to set the scene, let’s say that Jun Wu isn’t quite as dead as we thought. And the only person who’s around at the time to realize it is He Xuan who’s just moping by himself and being miserable. And then Jun Wu triggers something that turns back time to the moment of Xie Lian’s third ascension, wiping everyone’s memories but his own, and also He Xuan’s.

Now suddenly He Xuan is left with the ability to change things, the knowledge that Jun Wu is extra dangerous and knows who he is, and the realization that if he changes anything, Jun Wu will immediately realize he also knows. But he takes a gamble that turns out to be correct that Jun Wu wants him to take down Shi Wudu, so he’s not going to out him as long as He Xuan doesn’t give himself away.

Well, there’s only so many people he can trust right now. Obviously Shi Qingxuan can’t keep a secret and they wouldn’t be able to handle the truth anyway. He’d say Hua Cheng, but he doesn’t trust him enough to not risk his life for Xie Lian, so he’s out and the only other god he can stand is Xie Lian, and he’s out since he’d tell Hua Cheng.

However, Yin Yu operates under Jun Wu’s nose and knows how to keep quiet so that’s one. And then there’s Ming Yi who is fated to die soon and who only needs to send off the signal to act according to Jun Wu’s knowledge. And if He Xuan can just convince him to help for a little bit in exchange for freedom and godhood soon, that can get him two.

So for the most part, events continue to play out the same. There are some small moments when Jun Wu subtly changes things and some small ways where He Xuan, Yin Yu, and Ming Yi subtly push back. But mostly, they’re both just plotting and waiting.

And He Xuan still isn’t completely sure what he’s doing about Shi Wudu and Shi Qingxuan. It keeps him up at night and haunts his nightmares. And Yin Yu doesn’t really know what to do about it and he doesn’t know what to do with the info he got about the future and they’re both silently suffering until Ming Yi is like “I’ve been a prisoner for centuries, how am I the best adjusted here” and somehow gets stuck providing emotional support for his captor and the guy who sometimes assists his captor (you can’t tell me Yin Yu was never tasked to help around Blackwater’s lair as part of that debt).

And eventually, the time of the Blackwater arc comes and He Xuan has to make a choice. He goes through with all the setup the same as he did before and feels horrible watching Shi Qingxuan suffer, but knows any changes will put them in danger. But that day, when he’s finally standing face to face with Shi Wudu again, he just can’t do it.

And fortunately, last time Shi Qingxuan was dumped off out of harm’s way. And yeah, it sucks they have to give up their godhood, but He Xuan decides maybe that’s punishment enough. And as for Shi Wudu, he can spend the rest of his life redeeming himself by fighting back.

So He Xuan keeps everyone believing things are going as before, lets Shi Qingxuan give up their godhood, then grabs Shi Wudu, says he absolutely doesn’t deserve this, then suppresses his powers before tossing him into a corner where Ming Yi has been waiting to grab him. He Xuan then grabs Shi Qingxuan and drops them off when he left them before, telling them to be careful and to pray to Ming Yi if they need help.

They’re crying and confused and He Xuan doesn’t have much time, but he promises to explain later and says to pretend their brother is dead. He debates saying more, but ultimately just leaves. He gets back to find Shi Wudu captive where Ming Yi once was and glaring. And no matter how much he hates him, He Xuan swallows his feelings and tells Shi Wudu the world (and Shi Qingxuan) are in danger and he needs Shi Wudu’s help.

By this point, we’re approaching a place where He Xuan can safely tell Hua Cheng and start getting him involved. And Hua Cheng is equal parts impressed and annoyed to learn Yin Yu already knew. But now we have He Xuan, Ming Yi, and Shi Wudu as one fucked up team learning to work together and dealing with their feelings, Hua Cheng and Yin Yu teamed up to protect Xie Lian, and poor Shi Qingxuan who has no idea what’s happening other than something is up and decides they’re not going to just sit back and hide.

And of course it ends in epic battles and forgiveness and friendship and love. And Yin Yu and Quan Yizhen get to be together, Mu Qing and Feng Xin get to end up together, and maybe we could even throw some Peishui in as well because I’m weirdly soft for that. And Shi Qingxuan gets to earn their godhood being badass, yell at He Xuan for lying to them and hurting them, yell at Shi Wudu for lying to them and hurting He Xuan, and then be able to forgive them both and end up with both their brother and their best friend (and future lover) by their side.

And Hualian will still happen of course, but maybe Hua Cheng doesn’t need to disappear for a year. And Hua Cheng will totally beat the shit out of He Xuan for not telling him for so long, but begrudgingly admit he did alright and helped save Xie Lian, so he guesses he can forgive him. He still has to pay off his debt of course, but fortunately he has a very contrite god of wealth in his corner now.

So yeah! Happy endings all around and poor original Ming Yi gets to be a god at long last. And maybe as a punishment for what he did, Shi Wudu will need to help Ling Wen with her work. And maybe while I’m at it, I’ll find a way to give Lang Qingqui a little more closure too since he never really got it. Idk. I just love them all and want them to be happy and He Xuan is going to make that happen!

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

My (non-Jewish) anthropology professor made a really incorrect statement about the idea of Jews as “God’s chosen people”. When I (also non-Jewish but try to keep informed) corrected him, he brought up something else that sounded wrong to me: supposedly only Reform Judaism allows for conversion? I didn’t know enough to contest it at the time, but that really does not sound true to my ear, from the way I’ve heard Jewish people talk about it. Is there any truth to that?

Yeah, the Chosen People thing is often wildly and antisemitically misinterpreted to mean "We think we're G-d's Specialest Selected Elite People and the only people G-d actually loves and cares about" -- which like. Could not be further from the truth. What it actually means is: We were selected to do the project of the mitzvot of the Torah, which is a lot of extra homework that other people don't need to do but someone needs to do it. It's a lot more like "chosen to do the dishes" of the spiritual world than "chosen to be special." Now. Is there definitely some pride of place in doing the extra work? Sure! But at the same time, Jewish eschatology has always made room for non-Jews. We absolutely think non-Jews who live good lives and are decent, moral people have a solid place in the world to come. We aren't angling for a everyone to become Jewish because, kind of by definition, not everyone needs to do the ritual mitzvot. Live ethical lives and be decent to each other and us? Sure. Lay tefillin and daven three times a day and (during the Temple times) offer sacrifices and wave lulav fronds during Sukkot and eat matzah on Pesach and keep kosher and keep Shabbat? Etc.? Nope, that's our task and ours alone.

Now! If you feel personally called to living a life of Torah and believe that you have a Jewish soul and should be made part of Am Yisrael, the Jewish people, you can go through the lengthy process of conversion and (essentially) become a member of the Tribe? Yeah, you can do that. You better be real sure and go into it eyes open. You're going to need to be persistent and dedicated to studying and being present in the community. It's not encouraged, and traditionally rabbis would turn someone asking to convert away three times before accepting them as a student to make sure they were serious. In modern times, most rabbis are a bit more welcoming, but will still push you to seriously consider why you want to be Jewish. If the answer is still yes for you, then you can do it, if you must. Most gerim (converts) describe an experience very similar to how transgender folks describe our gender journeys - we can't be any other way, and wouldn't want to be. I'm both a convert and trans, and my sense of understanding myself as both non-binary and as a Jew are deeply held and equally compelling.

All branches of rabbinic Judaism accept converts. Some have a more strenuous process than others, and some take on very few converts. The more traditional the movement, the more likely it is that the person will be encouraged to explore other options. The reason for this is that the more traditional the movement, the more serious they take the binding nature of the commandments, and therefore adding another Jew (especially one who has so much to learn in a comparatively short time rather than being raised in it) is a risk that the person will revert back to their old ways or find something else later. Since we are judged collectively (Torah is a group project) and the future world to come hinges on us scrupulously observing the mitzvot (according to the more traditional movements) it is imperative that any late additions to the People be very serious and rigorous in their observance.

The liberal movements are a lot less intense about that, although it's also a spectrum. The Reform movement does not hold the ritual mitzvot to be binding, only the ethical mitzvot. They therefore lack the same incentive to avoid failed conversions. The Conservative/Masorti movement and some of the other traditional egalitarian communities do hold the mitzvot as binding, but are a lot more flexible about their expectations that everyone follow them. It's a lot more of a "do your best; we're here to support you" vibe. (That's my branch that I converted through.)

Each branch, to be clear, has their strengths and weaknesses, their merits and their drawbacks. Every Jew brings something to the table. The Reform movement (and similarly liberal smaller movements) are probably the most welcoming to gerim and have the fewest hoops to jump through, but every branch has a process and some amount of converts. Those that choose a more traditional movement typically support, respect, and value the extra hoops of the traditional movements and are willing to work within that system; at least that's how it was for me. I wanted it to be rigorous so that I was prepared and certain; I got that out of my giyur process. Other people have different needs and value systems that are equally valid.

[iamthedukeofurl]

Thinking back on Ward and Worm, I feel like Wildbow’s talent as a writer lies in making really good use of the first person perspective. He’s really good at getting into the heads of his viewpoint characters such that you fully understand their perspectives and why they think what they’re doing is correct. Like, thinking back to the Taylor surrenders herself arc, she shows up saying “Hey, don’t just pardon my friends, give them free license to Be Supervillains”, which is an insane thing for any state actors to agree with, but while reading the story it seems like she’s the reasonable one and the PRT are the obstinate assholes too proud to take the obvious mutually beneficial solution. It’s not like she’s saying “Pardon them so long as they don’t do any more crimes”, because that offer would have required talking to her friends ahead of time to get them onboard, and she didn’t want to do that. But in the moment, you perfectly understand Taylor’s perspective. She won’t abandon her friends, but now that she’s exposed her only options are to give herself up, or escalate into a war against the PRT, and she doesn’t want to do the latter. From her perspective, this is the solution that lets her opt out of a war against the PRT without abandoning her friends. You fully understand why this is the Best Option from her perspective, and why she feels that the PRT are being stupid not accepting it. Victoria does the same thing, everything Victoria does, you understand why she thinks it’s the right thing to do. Her narrative is written with the deep confidence of somebody  fully convinced of their own rightness, even as it’s pretty deeply contradictory and frequently absurd. The difference is, Worm does a lot of work to separate Taylor’s perspective from the narrative. We spend so much of the story behind her eyes that it isn’t really thrown in our faces, but stepping back you can see that Taylor isn’t supposed to be Correct about everything, she changes as the story goes on. She acts perfectly rationally only from her perspective, and there are many points where her perspective and the reality of the world differ, and the story acknowledges that, albeit subtly enough that “Taylor Herbert, Most Correct Person” is a valid reading. The trick is that Taylor grows and changes over the story, putting all of her actions in the context of “This was informed by who she was at the time” rather than a hyper-rationalist “This was the correct action to take”. Ward, by contrast, doesn’t really have Victoria go through much of a journey, and the setting is divorced enough from real world context that it can be hard to tell if Victoria is supposed to be the most correct person ever, or absolutely insane. When ordinary prisons are not enough, she devises a system where people are exiled to an uninhibited world with bare minimum support and told to fend for themselves, except for the guy who gets a bunch of extra goodies by doing a favor for Victoria’s best friend. In the places were it would make perfect sense for Victoria to be super irrational (amy) the narrative goes out of it’s way to justify Victoria’s opinions, and so elsewhere it’s not clear if Victoria’s actions are supposed to be so obviously wrong that you understand she’s incorrect without a big ‘ol “THIS IS A BAD THING TO DO” label, or if you’re supposed to be nodding along with how clever and smart she is.

[ace-of-zaun]

The Wrong Place at the Wrong Time: Pt. 8

Silco x f!reader - 7.6k words - SFW

cw:  fluff, angst, anxiety/dread, injury, medical anxiety, health and illness, taking care of people, talk about self-defence and physical assault, get your seatbelts on lads we’ve got another emotional rollercoaster chapter, but with a fluffy ending bc it’s me

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7

If someone had told kitchen-utensil-salesperson you that one day you’d be having to bribe the Eye of Zaun’s daughter, to keep her quiet about your relationship with said kingpin, you’d have laughed in their faces and told them to get lost.

But alas, here you were.

You’d had a long chat with Jinx about why you weren’t telling people and why she couldn’t tell anyone either. And after surprisingly little convincing from the two of you, Jinx had agreed to keep your secret… for a price. Sweets once a week for every week she kept it a secret. 

Dear Janna, was this girl Silco’s daughter.

She’d also sweetened the deal by throwing in a few extra game nights every month, so that’s how you find yourself sitting at Silco’s desk, Jinx on your lap in the chair opposite his, as you play yet another round of Gun Bun.

Silco is, rather annoyingly, picking incredibly obnoxious words on purpose when it’s his turn, (seriously, how many nine-year-olds know the word egregious?) so you decide that this is the perfect opportunity to mess with him.

At first, you simply decide to spell all of your words wrong, irritating him just a little bit more with every line drawn as he fails to guess the correct letters.

Once he cottons on to that, correcting your spelling like a disappointed teacher, you move onto the next level…

You start making words up.

Jinx giggles and squirms about in your lap when you whisper your nefarious plan to her, earning a narrowed look of suspicion from your criminal(ly gorgeous) boyfriend.

Unfortunately, this tactic only works for one round, because when you finally complete the drawing of Mr. Bunny shooting a gun (complete with the obligatory BANG!) and Silco still hasn’t guessed all the letters, Jinx reveals the word with a menacing glee.

And Silco loses it.

“That is not a word,” he says, immediately glaring at you since you’re the obvious instigator.

He looks so grumpy and so adorably exasperated, you just want to kiss him until he forgets both his own name and just how difficult you like to make his life. 

“It is!” you argue, staring at him whilst you valiantly battle against the urge to smile, before revealing, “I just made it up.”

His whole expression drops into the most incredulous deadpan. 

“Darling.”

“What?” you counter. “All words are made up! It’s not my fault you can’t keep up with me.”

There’s a pause where Silco just stares at you, mismatched eyes glimmering with something just on the edge of dangerous. 

You stare back, raising one cheeky eyebrow in challenge. That does it. 

“I think it is best we retire for the evening,” he says, tone clipped and impatient, though his eyes never once leave yours.

Jinx whines in disappointment, climbing from your lap onto the desk just so she can launch herself into Silco’s lap. She clings to him like a kitten until he finally gives in to her and agrees to one more game, as long as it doesn’t involve any words. 

Which of course means your absolute favourite activity in the whole, wide world. Drawing! 

You teach them both a game you played as a child, one where a piece of paper is folded three times, in a way where you can only see one section at a time. 

The first person secretly draws the head and shoulders, with some lines over the fold into the next section so the second person can join it up. They then flip it over to the next section, where the second person draws the torso and arms, while the last person then draws legs and feet, making sure to keep your separate drawings hidden until the very end, where you reveal the character you’ve all made together. 

You go first to demonstrate, drawing the head of a smiling girl that looks a little bit like Jinx (you know, if Jinx were a squiggly, blue doodle). 

After Jinx and Silco have both drawn their sections, you open up the paper and spread it flat on the desk, revealing, to Jinx’s delight, an absolute monstrosity of a character.

Underneath your smiling face, Jinx has doodled a thin torso with long spaghetti arms that loop round and round until their hands rest on their hips. But it’s nothing compared to Silco drawing his own boots and somehow forgetting that he needed to draw legs as well. 

You play this game for a few rounds, until it’s Silco’s turn to draw first. Except he takes a millennium, sketching with his pen like he’s in the middle of an art class. But it’s only when you spot him gently rocking the chair from side to side, almost imperceptible to the untrained eye, that you realise he’s trying to lull Jinx to sleep.

And surprisingly, it works, humming quietly under his breath until she falls asleep in his lap, adorably curled up with her face against his chest. 

Once he’s certain that she’s fast asleep, he lifts his head to give you a knowing look before carefully lifting her and carrying her back to her bedroom. You take the look to mean that you should get changed into your pyjamas so you can both cuddle up when he returns from putting her to bed. 

But when you stand up from your chair, groaning as you stretch your tired body towards the rafters, you take a moment to peek at Silco’s drawing, sliding the paper over the varnished wood until you can finally see. 

And you swear your heart melts in your chest when you look down at it. A portrait of you, looking happier than you’ve ever seen yourself looking. At least, up until you’d moved in with Silco. Now, you’re pretty sure you look like this most of the time. 

You’ve begun to stay in his bedroom a few nights a week, usually when he doesn’t stay up working until dawn like a madman. 

Your (imaginary) spy training has gotten a real workout every morning, ensuring no-one sees you make the dash back to your own bedroom, then getting dressed to go and meet Silco in his office like you hadn’t spent the whole night in his bed.

Honestly, part of you wonders if it would just be easier to move some of your clothes into his bedroom, but you’re not sure if he’d want that. The man does have a lot more clothes than you do. 

And what if he’s not ready for you to both officially move in together? How would you even approach asking? Should you just do it and blame the goblins when he asks if you put them there? (They’re cheeky little bastards, you know, they’ve stolen enough of your socks from the washing machine.)

You’re just preparing to leave the office, peering around the corner of the doorway to make sure there’s no-one in sight. You’d left the kingpin snoring in his bed just moments ago, and it’s far too early for Sevika to be anywhere near The Drop, so you’re pretty confident you’re not gonna be caught.

Crouching down a little feels like a good, sneaky spy move, so you bend your knees slightly, duck your head, and begin to tip-toe down the hallway as quietly as you can.

And honestly, even after only a few steps in, you’re genuinely starting to feel like you could break into one of those fancy art museums Topside and complete the heist of the century. That is, until a low voice calls out behind you.

“What in Janna’s name are you doing?”

Janna herself would be proud of the way you hold in the blood-curdling scream that threatens to erupt from your vocal folds.

Instead of waking up everyone in the entirety of Zaun and probably some of Piltover, you clutch your chest and hiss out a wheezing, “Holy fucking fuck-”

You spin around to glare at Silco who is standing in the doorway to his office, coffee cup in hand as he leans nonchalantly against the frame. 

How didn’t you hear him sneak up? And how the hell did he manage to wake up from being borderline comatose AND make himself a coffee in such a short amount of time? 

You squint at him suspiciously as if that’ll make him reveal all his secrets. Maybe he should be the spy…

Silco looks rather amused as he watches you. 

“Has anyone ever informed you that you possess quite the potty mouth?” he asks, in that raspy morning voice that is far too hot for its own good. 

“Has anyone ever informed you that it’s rude to try to give your girlfriend a heart attack on purpose?” you shoot back.

He holds his free hand to his t-shirt clad chest in mock offence.

“I can assure you, my love, I was attempting no such thing,” he protests with the guiltiest look you’ve ever seen in your whole entire existence. 

You point at him as a threat. 

“Boy, don’t test me. I’ll take you out of my will.”

Silco’s face drops into a faux upset, slapping one hand against his cheek dramatically. 

“Oh no, whatever will I do without your collection of novelty ice-cream scoops?” he questions sardonically.

You return it with an overexaggerated gasp, (but deep down you’re secretly pleased he’s starting to play along with your melodrama; oh how the turn tables).

“How dare you!” you exclaim, throwing both hands up to cage your poor, shattered heart, before you turn your nose up to sniff haughtily. “That’s it, I’m breaking up with you.”

Silco swiftly downs the last of his coffee and then tosses the mug onto the sofa behind him blindly, instantly changing your mind on what you just said.

How the fuck did he do that without it breaking into a million pieces? And more importantly, how is he easily the hottest man in the world? 

“I think not,” he practically growls, stepping forward into the corridor. 

“You can’t stop me,” you announce loftily. “Me and the Scoop Troop are outta here.”

He advances on you slowly until he’s leaning down to speak into your ear, the roughness in his timbre sending a shiver down your spine. 

“Then I suppose I shall have to convince you to stay.”

Abruptly, Silco leans down to pick you up, deftly swinging you up into a bridal carry, forcing you to try your best not to squeal and accidentally wake everybody up. 

Then, he turns on his heel and carries you back in his office, kicking the door shut behind you as you giggle breathlessly into his chest. 

Maybe the reason you look so much happier now after moving in with Silco, is because you are. 

-

Of course, spy training in the mornings is not the only kind of training you embark on. 

True to his word, Silco begins to teach you self-defence after the multiple attacks you’ve endured since accepting the job as his negotiator. (To be fair, you’d endured some during your time at the market stall too, but that had been at a significantly lower danger level compared to this.)

So you’re in the bar one early afternoon, a few of the tables pushed out of the way to give you room to properly move about. Silco has given strict orders that no-one is to enter the bar until you’re finished, which had earned a huff of annoyance from Sevika, who would be forced to take the long-winding emergency exit in and out of the building.

Standing across from Silco in the cleared space, you ready yourself to learn some basic defence, hoping it’ll trump your current tactic of just running away really, really fast… (okay, fine, a moderate jog at best).

You’d hoped to learn how to properly use the knife Silco had gifted you in the market, excitedly bringing it along in the hopes that he’ll show you some cool moves.

But he’d confiscated it the very second you’d taken it out of the box and nearly dropped it on your own foot, blade down. 

So… self-defence it is, for now. 

Your boyfriend (smoking hot; an utter bitch; an absolute icon) stands opposite you, hands clasped behind his back as he talks. 

“Today I will show you some basic movements that will allow you to disengage if an attacker were to grab onto you,” he explains, reminding you of your old geography teacher (who was also your everything-teacher because, you know, Zaun). “Then, depending on how well you-”

Silco continues to tell you his lesson plan in detail, but honestly, you stop listening the second you notice that his shirt sleeves are rolled up. And he’s wearing a different waistcoat. It looks a little older than the usual ones he wears, but it’s still hot. Really accentuates his slutty little waist.  

Your cheeks get warm just thinking about it. 

Is it hot in here or is it just you? 

And gods, isn’t he pretty with his hair a little bit messy, those dark waves just the tiniest bit mussed up. And wouldn’t he look even prettier if you ran your hands through it and maybe put your lips on-

“Are you listening?” Silco cuts in. 

Your head snaps up to meet his gaze, positively startled at the interruption. 

“Yes, sir,” you blurt out.

He smirks in response which does not help your predicament in the slightest. 

“Very well,” he nods, bringing both hands to rest on his hips. “We will begin by learning a disengagement technique that would be useful if somebody were to-”

You swear you’re trying to listen.

Honestly.

But that voice. And the way his lips move when he talks. 

And fuck, it’s hot when his throat bobs when he swallows and-

“Are you ready?”

Uh oh, you did it again. 

“Huh?” you mutter, dragging your gaze away from his throat.

“I said, are you ready to try the movements I just explained?” Silco asks, raising one eyebrow expectantly. 

“Of course I am,” you scoff confidently, despite having not listened to a single word he’s just said. “I’m practically a cage fighter at this point. I could take you down faster than you could say 2-in-1 decarboxylator and herb infuser.”

He doesn’t ask. In fact, he’s stopped asking what the hell you’re talking about when you’re both busy because it more often than not just leads to a twenty minute monologue, which he’s more than happy to listen to as you lie in bed together. But not when you’re about to learn important skills like how to defend yourself in a fight.

“Alright then, show me,” Silco responds, stepping closer to you to do whatever the hell he’s been talking about for the last five minutes. 

Suddenly, he reaches out and grabs a handful of your shirt with one hand, scrunching it up right next to your collarbone. 

Your body jolts forward slightly with the motion, eyes flicking up to gawp at him in alarm. 

But instead of flipping you over his shoulder and breaking your spine (you assume that was the intent), Silco just looks down at you, waiting patiently for you to make your move.

Of course, you have no idea what you’re doing (ever), so you just stand there like a rat in headlights, staring up at him in awe. 

“Grab onto your shirt like I told you, darling,” he instructs softly when you still don’t do anything. 

“It’s okay, you can have it if you want,” you whisper back in a daze. 

“No, grasp the fabric with this hand,” he says, gently guiding your hand to fist the material, right next to where his hand is still holding onto it. “And then grab onto my wrist with your other hand.”

You do and suddenly, you feel like you’re in a sauna. 

Why’s he grabbing your shirt like that? And how in the actual fuck can somebody’s wrist be so goddamn hot?

“Now pull your shirt away from me with your hand and push my wrist away with the other,” Silco continues, seemingly unaware of how flustered you are. 

Oh, so that’s what he’s trying to get you to do. 

You hesitate for a moment, blankly staring at his arm. Only then does Silco notice your reticence, but he must put it down to nerves because the grip on your shirt lessens slightly. 

“It’s alright, my love, just try your best,” he tells you soothingly. 

You smile up at him, utterly dazzled by his… him-ness. 

“Okay.”

You just want to impress him. To make your silly little guy as proud of you as you are of him. 

So you try your best…

Which of course means putting way too much power into it. 

With absolutely zero warning, you shove him away from you at the same time as you rip your shirt from his grasp, the force causing you to stumble and trip yourself up on your feet. Instinctively, you reach out and grab onto Silco’s waistcoat, pulling him down with you. 

He just about manages to catch the back of your head before it smacks against the floor, but  can’t save himself from crashing down on top of you.

Your fingers stay latched onto him as he leans up to check on you, hand still cupping the back of your head protectively. 

“Are you alright?” he asks frantically, rapidly looking over you for any injuries.

Your brain must have short-circuited because in lieu of answering, you simply gaze up at him in shock.

The fall appears to have knocked some of his hair loose, now hanging down over his forehead in strands, and sweet Janna, this should be a crime. 

It’s not fair. How are you supposed to do anything or even think straight with this?

Silco cups your cheek and calls your name, clearly panicked. 

“Can you hear me?”

It’s too much for your poor heart, so give you in and press your lips against his in a passionate kiss.

Silco freezes for a split second before letting out a startled, hmpf!

He moves back, breaking the kiss to hold both of your hands against the floor to stop you from leaning up. 

“Darling, this is serious! You cannot kiss me in the middle of training,” he huffs, exasperated.

You hope the puppy-dog eyes will earn you your forgiveness. 

“But you’re just so cute.”

He sighs, head hanging down low for a brief second before he meets your gaze again.

“Are you injured?”

“No. Are you?”

Silco appears to be relieved, but also a little perplexed. 

“I’m fine, darling. How did you lose your balance so easily?” he asks. “It was supposed to be a simple manoeuvre.”

“I uh… I got distracted,” you say bashfully.

Please don’t read my mind. Please don’t read my mind. Please don’t read my mind. 

Luckily, he just runs a hand through his hair, trying to put it back in place. He fails spectacularly. 

“You cannot get distracted in a fight, you must be vigilant at all times,” he tells you, like he’s trying to be stern. 

You take no notice. 

“Even if the person I'm fighting is ridiculously hot?”

Silco ignores the question (despite the fact that the tips of his ears are turning the loveliest shade of red) and continues pretending to be strict. 

“Let’s try getting out of this hold,” he says. “What do you think would be the best way to escape from this position?”

You don’t even bother looking for a way to escape, still too focused on giving some love to your mans.

Leaning up as far as you can, you deliver a quick kiss to his nose, which, to your absolute delight, only makes him blush even more. 

He says your name as a scold.

“What did I just say?”

You toss your head to the side and whine, rumbling your legs a little against the floor like a child. 

“Why can’t I just do this if someone attacks me? I feel like it’s kinda working.”

“Do what?” Silco asks with a frown.

“Kiss them.”

And gods, you swear the noise that emanates from his chest is a growl.

“Absolutely not,” he grunts, pressing himself slightly closer to you until you involuntarily squeak.

Silco releases his grip on your hands and climbs off of you, helping you to stand up so he can dust off your trousers. 

Over the course of the next hour, he does actually teach you one or two methods to escape someone’s grasp, but perhaps more usefully, he explains that it’s better to focus on prevention of attacks, rather than relying on moves that you’re probably going to forget when filled with adrenaline.

But just knowing that you’ll have both a slew of bodyguards and a little bit of knowledge in self-defence makes you feel a bit more confident, which was probably the only reason you agreed to learn in the first place.

Of course, the impromptu lesson ends when you trip again and nearly break your nose falling into a table, this time when you’re only trying to get a glass of water. 

Being led carefully back upstairs by Silco, he exhaustedly suggests that training takes place in his office from now on, to which you ask if you can be wrapped up entirely in bubble wrap in what you would call your Safety Suit.

You get no response, which in your books is not strictly a no, so you make a mental note to add an industrial amount of bubble wrap to the next product order you fill out.

Lacing your fingers with his, you give him the biggest, most affectionate smile as you follow him upstairs to the shower, wondering just how in the hell you got so lucky.

-

It’s only a few weeks later that Jinx gets sick, somehow catching a head cold that thankfully isn’t too concerning, just a bit of a temperature that puts her in bed for a few days.

Although, much like her father, she's incredibly demanding. Which of course only multiplies tenfold the second she starts to feel under the weather, insisting either you or Silco be with her all day every day. So the two of you take shifts, juggling paperwork, meetings, and spending time with Jinx, as well as trying to look after yourselves.

It works for a few days, distracting Jinx when she gets bored or frustrated, coercing her to eat and drink, the three of you even spending time together to discuss her new invention ideas while she’s stuck in bed.

Then, it all goes downhill from there. 

You’re on Jinx duty one afternoon, down in the kitchen and in the middle of making her a warm drink when a loud commotion erupts from the bar. Your head pops curiously around the door frame only to be greeted with the sight of utter chaos; a slew of the club’s bouncers and Silco’s usual bodyguards frantically rushing through the club.

For a brief second, you wonder if there’s a security convention happening that you hadn’t been made aware of.

But the moment you spot the Doctor slinking through doors and up the stairs towards Silco’s office, your heart drops in your chest.

He’s supposed to be at a meeting right now with Sevika, across town.

Or will it have finished by now? Would he have had time to walk all the way back to The Drop?

Fuck, what if something happened during the meeting?

Desperately trying to keep the panic at bay, you slip through the crowd and up the stairs, all the while hoping you’ll find your boyfriend in his office as normal, pacing in front of the window like he usually does when there’s been a hitch in the plans. 

But when you reach the doors, you find two more burly guards blocking the entrance. 

You suck in a breath of air and take measured steps down the corridor until you’re standing in front of them. 

“Hey guys, I need to talk to Silco,” you say as calmly as possible, pointing to the door behind them. 

“Sorry, can’t let you in,” one of them says, barely even sparing you a glance.  

You frown. 

“Why? What’s happened?” you ask, trying to hide the wobble in your voice. Then, at the risk of sounding too involved, “Is he okay?”

“There’s been an incident,” the other grunts. 

You hold in the urge to scream and respond as courteously as you can given the situation. 

“Yes, I gathered that, but it’s really important that I talk to him.”

The guards barely look at you, as if you’re just a fly buzzing in front of them. 

“Sorry. Protocol.”

Your fists clench at your sides. 

He’s your partner, for Janna’s sake! 

For all you know, something terrible could’ve happened and these two chumps are treating you like you’re the maid! As a matter of fact, you’re pretty sure you rank higher than these two in the pecking order anyway. 

You put on your meanest face and glare up at them, channelling all your Eye of Zaun energy.

“Look, I don’t give a rat’s arse about protocol, I need to see him right-”

Even just the mention of protocol reminds you of Jinx, who you’d completely forgotten about in all the hubbub. 

Your mouth drops open and you spin on your heel mid-sentence, racing down the corridor to her bedroom. Footsteps land heavily on the floor until you’re bursting through into her room the instant your fingers grasp the handle.

Jinx is completely fine, albeit a little startled at your dramatic entrance, sitting up in bed where you’d left her. You almost collapse in relief. 

“You were gone for ages!” she complains with a huff, until her eyes land on your empty hands and her face screws up, whining, “Hey, where’s my hot choccy milk?”

You rush to her side, gently soothing back the sweaty hair from her forehead with your hand. 

“I’m sorry, pumpkin, I forgot,” you attempt to placate her. “I’ll make one for you in a little bit.”

Her annoyance fades and you just see the worry overtake her expression as she examines you, eerily similar to her father.

“What’s wrong?” she asks. 

“Nothing’s wrong, sweetheart.”

She isn’t buying it. 

“Yeah there is,” Jinx scowls, even crossing her arms against her chest to show you she really means business. “Don’t lie to me, I’m not a little kid anymore.”

You sigh. What the hell are you meant to tell her? You don’t even know what’s going on.

“There’s just been… a little bit of an incident, but it’s nothing for you to worry about. We’re safe here,” you try to say reassuringly. 

“Where’s Dad?”

“He’s just trying to sort everything out,” you reply. “I’m sure he won’t be long.”

Gods, you hope that’s the case. 

Honestly, you feel awful lying to her, but you have no idea what’s happening yourself. So right now, you both need to stay as calm as possible.

You sit with her for however long, keeping both Jinx and yourself distracted with a game while you internally battle with yourself to stop the worry from overtaking you. 

It’s probably only a few minutes, but it feels like it’s been hours when the door finally opens and Sevika enters, automatically throwing a grimace towards Jinx.

Of course, Jinx isn’t Sevika’s greatest friend on the best of days, but now that she’s sick, it’s entirely worse. She throws the covers over her head and groans in retaliation.

“Boss wants to see you,” Sevika announces, looking directly at you, thankfully ignoring Jinx’s outburst. 

Hope flutters in your chest for a split second. If he wants to see you, that means he’s awake and more than likely talking.

But you can’t really ask the six million questions that are running through your brain with Jinx here listening. And you also can’t really leave her with Sevika, unless you want the entire room to be destroyed. 

“Can you fetch Ran for me?” you ask, begging the woman with your eyes whilst keeping your tone neutral. “I can’t leave Jinx on her own.”

Sevika sneers, clearly annoyed. 

Then, you watch as she considers Jinx (still hiding under the covers), and probably considers being the one to watch over her for the foreseeable. 

Without another word, she promptly turns on her heel and walks out the room.

The whole time you’re waiting for her return, Jinx pesters you to let her see her Dad, but you make her promise that she’ll stay in bed until he gives the okay. 

Luckily, Sevika is back within minutes, Ran in tow, who silently reclines in the furthest chair from her bed. You explain to Jinx that you’ll be back soon, and encourage her to tell Ran about all her new invention ideas.

And the very moment you’ve shut the door to her bedroom, Sevika pauses outside, presumably to update you on the situation.

But your anxiety immediately gets the better of you and you sprint down the hall like a madman, too nervous to even wait a few seconds.

Vaguely, you hear Sevika mutter, “Don’t know why I fucking bother,” as you speed away, but you’ll have to apologise to her later.

You need to see him now. 

When you arrive at Silco’s office, the guards move to the side in preparation, although they do manage to look the tiniest bit alarmed when you burst through the doors yelling, “I just really love paperwork!” and kick the door shut behind you.

Hopefully that’ll quench any suspicions they might have. 

Silco is clearly not in his office, so the next port of call is his bedroom, of which you slam the door open and tumble into the room, hanging onto the door knob for dear life when the motion threatens to send you sprawling across the floor.

From his bed where he’s laid out, Silco’s eyes widen in bewilderment, jolting back against the pillows his head is propped up on. 

Your fingers grip the door handle while your eyes fill with tears, gasping at the sight of him. 

It’s hard not to miss the stained bandage around his thigh, missing waistcoat, and filthy, rumpled clothes. And the fact that he’s much paler than usual. 

You feel sick. 

“Sil…”

“I’m fine, darling,” he attempts to mollify you, shifting about as he tries to sit up.

“No, no, don’t move,” you choke out.

You rush over to him, uncaring of the way your knees crack against the ground when you heavily drop beside his bed. 

“What-” you swallow the knot in your throat, shakily willing the tears away. “What happened?”

A hand reaches out to comfort him, but you hesitate, hovering above his arm.

The last thing you want to do is accidentally hurt him.

Silco grasps your hand with his, firmly intertwining your fingers together. But you beat him to it, bringing his hand to your mouth to gently kiss his knuckles.

“An individual attacked us on our way back to the club,” he explains, two-toned eyes focused on where your mouth rests on the skin of his hand. 

You look up at him, brow furrowed. 

“An individual? Did you see what they looked like?”

“No, they were masked and escaped before Sevika or I could apprehend them,” he replies, voice clearly tired and groggy.

You want to ask why the hell they were alone without any guards, but you know he’ll just get huffy about it. Something about being able to look after himself.

Your hand runs over your face as you sigh.

“Do you think it was one of the gangs?”

That’d be the most obvious set of culprits. 

“It could be, or it could be a lone fanatic who disagrees with my policies,” Silco replies. “We will conduct a thorough investigation and in the meantime security measures will be tripled, you and Jinx included.”

“What did the Doctor say?”

“The usual,” he says, avoiding eye contact as his gaze trails to your clasped hands once more. If there’s one thing that Silco hates, it’s talking about his own health and wellbeing. “The Shimmer injections should speed things along.”

He doesn’t give you a chance to respond before cutting in with a question of his own. 

“How is Jinx?”

“She’s fine, worried about you,” you tell him, squeezing his hand in comfort.

Suddenly, your eyes meet his, filling with tears once more as your mind begins to spiral.

What if-

You cut off that train of thought immediately, letting go of his hand and leaning forward to lightly rest your forehead against his side.

“Oh, Sil,” you mumble shakily into the creased fabric of his shirt. 

“Come here, darling,” he says, gently pushing you to sit back up.

You look up to see him patting the space beside him, the side you usually sleep on.

“But I don’t want to hurt you,” you protest weakly. 

“You won’t,” he says with resolve.

You only hesitate for a moment longer before standing up and making your way around the bed, gingerly climbing onto your side.

Silco quickly reaches for you and pulls you over to him, laying your head against his chest and wrapping his arms around you. You’re careful not to lean on him too heavily. 

And gods dammit, as you lie there cocooned in his arms, those tears slowly and silently leak out against your will, soaking into his burgundy shirt.

“I was so worried,” you begin, hoping he can’t detect the wobble in your voice. “I… I thought…”

“Shh, my love,” he hums into your hair. “I’m here now.”

You allow yourself to relax in his presence, beyond thankful that he’s here and he’s alive, even if he’s injured. 

You’ll take care of him every single day until he’s better. And even after that too. For as long as he wants you.

But as much as you want to stay in his arms right now, reassuring yourself with each inhale and exhale of breath that levers your head on his chest, you have to get up. 

“Where are you going?” Silco protests when his arms slip away from you.

“I need to check on Jinx,” you explain, reluctantly climbing off the bed with a sniff. “Plus, it might look a bit suspicious if I spend too long in here. Might start a few rumours.”

Silco frowns when you stand at the foot of the bed and straighten your clothes, scrubbing a hand over your face to wipe away the tears.

“Bring Jinx here, then you can stay as long as you like,” he says, almost with a pout.

You try not to smile at the way he sounds like a little boy trying to get out of bedtime

“She’s still in bed,” you explain. “Plus, she’ll get upset if she sees that you’re hurt. I’ll send Sevika back in to watch over you.”

Silco doesn’t look convinced, so you wander over to his side again.  

“Don’t worry, I’ll come back later,” you say, kissing his forehead tenderly. 

He catches your hand before you can leave, smirking a little. 

“Why can’t you tell everyone you’re my nurse?” he asks, that mischief still lurking despite the exhaustion. “Then you could spend the night here, no questions asked.”

You tug your hand out of his grasp, glaring down at him in faux annoyance. 

“If you weren’t already injured, I would actually smack you right now,” you threaten.

“Sounds lovely,” he grins, reaching for your hand until you dance out of his reach with a yelp.

You begin to walk towards the door. 

“Stay in bed, you menace. And don’t do anything I would do!” you call out over your shoulder as you leave, exiting the room before you do anything stupid (like offering to give him a sponge bath just because you want to take his shirt off). 

And as you go, you pray to Janna that this period of recovery with Silco’s injury is not going to be a trial. The last thing you need right now is any more stress. 

-

The period of recovery is a trial. 

But did you honestly expect anything less with Silco as your patient? 

Luckily, his leg begins to heal fairly quickly, no doubt thanks to the Shimmer injections. But it still takes a bit of time until he can get back to work as normal.

After checking up on Jinx, you find out from Sevika that the Doctor had actually ordered bed rest until he gives the okay. Which is a relief at first because it means that you can bully Silco into properly resting for once in his life.

Except, that means you have to take over the brunt of the meetings and paperwork. 

Between the worry about both Jinx and Silco’s recoveries, and having to carry most of the business, you think you’re losing your mind. 

You continue to take care of Jinx, as well as Silco, who are both the whiniest, most demanding two people you’ve ever met when they’re sick. 

Jinx hates that she can’t visit Silco in case she gives him an infection and bugs you constantly about going to see him. And Silco borderline whines every time you stop him from getting out of bed to ‘just smoke one cigar and fill in one shipping manifest at his desk’. 

Yeah, no. 

More often than not, you’re running between the two of them, perpetually washing your hands and making sure your mask is secure on your face. 

Sometimes you’ll briefly stop on the way to inhale a snack. Sometimes you’ll shove your face under the sink taps and get both a drink and a wash at the same time. Other times you try not to scream into the nearest pillow or cushion in fear of accidentally losing your voice. 

This time, you’ve just finished putting Jinx to bed (a battle far more ferocious than probably any battle in history, ever), and you’re now on your way to check on Silco, ready for his new evening routine. 

Check stitches. Clean wound. Re-bandage. Give medicine. Give food. Check he’s actually taken medicine. Give drink. Find a new book for him to read because he’s bored, darling. 

But instead of finding him laying in bed, plucking his comb like it’s a musical instrument, he’s standing up (barely) and clutching to the dresser.

You watch incredulously as he attempts to tug his trousers over his injured leg, sweating, pale, and clearly out of breath. 

“Are you serious right now?”

He looks up, lips pulling into the tiniest smile at the sight of you. 

“Hello, sweetheart,” he greets warmly, before going back to the task at hand. 

You think your head is going to explode. 

“What are you doing?” you ask dumbly.

The tray of his food and meds are placed on the bedside table, while Silco continues to wrestle with his trousers. Frankly, he looks ridiculous, pyjama top still on, trousers halfway up one leg as the other gets stuck on his ankle over and over again.

“I have a meeting,” he informs you, as if that’s an explanation. 

You look up to the ceiling like you’ll find a piece of your sanity on it. There’s definitely no meetings scheduled in the diary.

Dear gods, if he’s got a fever now and is hallucinating, you think you might just evaporate. 

“What meeting?”

Silco decides not to give you any details and instead just calmly states,

“It is very important. I must attend.”

Then, he carries on trying to get dressed like he wasn’t stabbed in the leg only a week earlier.

You can almost visualise the stress levels rising in your body; the jug about to overflow and spill out of you. 

What you should probably do right now is carefully help him back into bed and fetch Sevika so you can all decide on the best solution to this dilemma.

But you’re human, so you let your emotions get the better of you instead. 

“No.”

Silco has the gall to look surprised.

“I beg your pardon?” he asks, genuinely shocked at your directness. 

“I said no, now get back in bed,” you say, moving over to him to help him take off those stupid trousers and put his pyjamas back on.

He must not understand how serious you are right now because he continues to gently protest.

“Darling, I appreciate-”

“Silco,” you cut him off, tears filling your eyes as you arrive in front of him, looking him dead in the eye. Your voice is shockingly quiet and precise. “I need you to get back in bed or I think I am actually, seriously going to lose it.”

He looks startled, shuffling forward to comfort you. 

“Sweetheart-”

“Please, Silco,” you cut him off, your voice cracking with the words. 

Silco appraises you for a moment, watching your tense body and distraught face. 

Finally, he speaks. 

“Alright,” he concedes quietly, mismatched eyes full of concern. 

He manages to step out of his trousers and you help him hobble back over to the bed, pulling up the covers so he can get under the sheets.

And once he’s comfortably sat up against the headboard, he opens his mouth to speak again, eyes watching you carefully the whole time. 

You don’t let him. 

You lean forward, kiss his cheek, and then step away. 

“Please eat this,” you say, nodding to the tray on his bedside table. “I’m going to check on Jinx and then I will be back to change your bandage.”

Your footsteps out the room are measured and by the time he calls your name, asking you to wait, you’re already out the door. But you can’t stop walking because if you do, you’ll burst into tears…

Which is exactly what happens after you check on Jinx.

You’re just on your way back to Silco’s bedroom when one of the employees stops you in the corridor to say that a warehouse has been raided, meaning a bunch of stock has been stolen. 

You politely thank her for letting you know, ask her to inform Sevika, take a sharp turn into your bedroom, and break down sobbing.

Truthfully, you’re not sure how long you spend kneeling on the floor next to your bed, face down as you cry into the sheets.

But it must be long enough because the door opens and a set of limping footsteps shuffle towards you. 

He sits down on the bed and gently - soothingly - runs his fingers through your hair. 

There’s a sharp intake of breath between each word, but you somehow manage to heave out, “You… should… be… in… bed,” sobbing the last word until it’s completely unintelligible. 

“I know, my love, I know,” Silco consoles you.

He delicately encourages you to get up and get into bed, following you under the covers despite there barely being enough room for the both of you. 

Once he’s reassured you that you’re not hurting his leg, you let him hold you in his arms, rubbing your back until you stop crying. 

You have a killer headache. And a big part of you feels bad for letting him comfort you when it should be the other way round. 

“Do you know why I gave you this bedroom when I first asked you to work and live here?” he eventually mumbles into your hair. 

You sniffle. “No, why?”

“It’s the only one with a single bed.”

Slowly, you pull back to look at him in disbelief. 

“What?”

“I wanted to make sure you didn’t invite anyone over,” he explains nonchalantly, like any sane person would invite you to live with them and give you the tiniest bed ever, just because he was jealous of even the thought of you having a partner. 

You huff a laugh and his lips quirk into a smile in response. 

“There was never anyone to invite over,” you say. “Plus, it doesn’t really make sense to invite someone over when they already live with you.”

Silco watches you affectionately. He cups your cheeks and leans forward to capture your lips in the slowest, most tender kiss. 

Your eyes flutter closed and you whisper against him, “You’re injured.” 

“My lips are perfectly fine,” he mumbles back. 

You gently whack him on the arm. 

“Silly boy.”

He smirks (the one that still gives you butterflies) and steals another kiss before cuddling up to you again. 

“Thank you for looking after everything for me,” he says over your shoulder. “In truth, I am not quite sure what I would do without you.”

“I don’t know how you do it all, I feel like one of those stretchy dolls being pulled in every direction until they snap,” you snort, scrubbing a hand over your face. 

“You’re doing wonderfully, my sweetheart. I am continually astounded by your unwavering strength and compassion,” Silco tells you. 

Then, he blows an amused breath of air out of his nose, like he can’t quite believe whatever he’s thinking. “It’s no wonder I-”

He pauses, whole body suddenly tense in your arms. 

You wait patiently for him to continue, squeezing him a little bit tighter in reassurance. 

“Hmm?”

Silco eventually lets out a shaky exhale, simultaneously relaxing into your touch, almost like he’s melting into your warmth. 

“I know that you will be just fine. We will be just fine,” he says.

You hum again, feeling yourself drifting off to sleep with each looping circle traced on your skin. 

Deep down, you know you’ll have to go fetch him some water and his first aid supplies when you wake. You’ll sit in your armchair beside your own bed until he wakes up from some much needed rest. 

But he’s worth it. He’s worth the crick in your neck, and the reduced hours of sleep, and the overwhelming stress.

He’s worth it all. 

Because you love him. 

-

a/n: did anyone else play the folded paper drawing game or was it just me?? 

edit: i just googled it and the game is called Exquisite Corpse 😭

edit edit: so i’m currently trying to plot out the rest of this story so there’ll hopefully be fewer breaks between chapters (it was only meant to be a one-shot lmao), wish me luck my lieges 🙏 if you’re still reading this daft story after all this time, ily. if you’re new, welcome ily

[gabessquishytum]

Human au where to most everyone, Dream is a complete bitch, difficult to please and quick to be dismissive. He’s got a very small inner circle of friends he’s not as mean or rude to, but even to them he’s at best snarky or just neutral.

Except lately, whenever his new boyfriend Hob walks into the room, Dream will instantly make a complete 180 and become the sweetest, gentlest, most butter-wouldn’t-melt-in-his-mouth innocent, tactile and lovely boyfriend in the world. Even if Dream is talking to other people, so long as Hob is still in the vicinity the worst anyone could call him is quiet (this doesn’t happen often though, as if Hob is in the vicinity Dream will usually opt for tucking himself into his side and shyly(!) hiding his face in Hob’s neck). It’s nothing Hob does or says that prompts it, not even a look or touch, Dream just does it the moment he’s within Hob’s presence. The transformation is so complete that anyone who’s only ever met Dream when he’s with Hob has no problem believing him to basically be Hob’s sweet little kitten.

Dream doesn’t acknowledge this at all, will go from one attitude to the other and back like a light switch based on Hob’s movements, and completely ignores the confusion and bewilderment from those around him. A few people have been brave enough to approach Hob alone and ask about the discrepancy, but he only shrugs and responds that he’s never seen Dream being mean, he’s only ever known his boyfriend as an absolute sweetheart. The whole situation leaves everyone feeling like they’re in the Twilight Zone and very off-kilter (and also wondering if it was at all possible to pay Hob to just follow Dream around and keep him docile).

(Unbeknownst to everyone, including Dream, Hob does in fact know that his boyfriend is normally bitchy and difficult to deal with. He’s just patiently waiting for Dream to feel more secure in their relationship to show that side of himself, to trust that Hob isn’t going anywhere and that Dream isn’t going to scare him off (honestly Hob is kind of looking forward to Dream bringing his mean side to the bedroom, either for some brat-taming or even for pushing Hob around). In the meantime, it’s not like the whole adorably sweet thing is entirely a bit, Dream genuinely feels that happy, pleased, and calm whenever Hob is around. So Hob will happily enjoy his darling kitten while he bides his time until Dream feels comfortable enough to show him his claws)

-🪽anon

I'm absolutely crying at the idea of Dream being like the equivalent of the kind of girl whose voice goes up an octave whenever her boyfriend is around (which I don't mean as criticism in any way btw, I just think it's hilarious). From panther to kitten in less than a second - his friends and family are getting whiplash!

Hob legitimately loves Dream at either end of the spectrum, and he loves the way he can see Dream coming out of his shell a little bit more every day. Like now sometimes Dream will freely make an incredibly grumpy face whenever Hob does something annoying. Or he'll passive aggressively correct something that Hob just did. All very small things, entirely normal within a relationship, and Hob just can't stop grinning each time.

The first time he really sees Dream’s mean side is when someone starts flirting excessively with Hob at a party. Dream inserts himself physically into the conversation, gives the guy this look like he's a bit of dirt on the floor. And he says something absolutely bitingly mean about his choice of clothes. Hob actually gasps, and has to stop himself from laughing.

Afterwards Dream is extra sweet, hiding away in Hob’s chest so cutely all evening. But once they're home, Hob carries him straight off to bed and gives him a thorough scolding for being such a naughty boy.

By "thorough scolding" I mean he really rewards Dream’s behaviour by eating his pretty little hole out until he cums untouched. But really, Hob was just so pleased to see his wonderful, sparky Dream come to life. How could he help encouraging his darling to be himself?

[roxyco-deliverygirl]

The only reason you don't like BG3 is because your bad at it

So! My main criticism of Baldurs Gate 3 is the story, for the most part I like the combat (which is the only thing you could be good or bad at) and as for weather I'm bad at the combat

Here's Morgana showing off my 100% achievements, including the foehammer achievement for completing the game in honour mode which is the hardest difficulty.

The overarching story is fine, it's a reason for you to go from point A to point B. You explore act 1 to find a healer for the tadpole, you go to moonrise in act 2 because that's where the tadpoles come from, you go to the city because that's where the Absolute is. It's passable, it does what it has to.

Act 1 is easily the best, all the quests feel like they lead naturally to each other. You have to go to the druids grove, in the grove you get told about the goblin camp and there are 2 ways to learn bout the swamp and a way to learn about the Gith in the mountain pass. And so on. Act 2 feels like it only has 2 or 3 real quests and a few optional boss fights standing like 10 feet apart from each other. Act 3 is better, but it does feel like a single street with dungeons on each side.

Companions are I think the worst, I don't like most of them. Astarion is a piece of shit and the correct choice is to stake him the first chance you get. Gale is honestly quite frustrating, imagine your girlfriend got shot so you decide to get really into building guns, and then get mad when she breaks up with you. Shadowheart has improved since last time I played, her story is like escaping a cult but she does get better across the story. Jaheira and Minsc are from the older balders gate games but in this one they feel pretty shit, Jaheira kills herself in moonrise tower 9 times out of 10, and you can only recruit Minsc on the one time that Jaheira survives. Halsin is alright and I think people getting mad about the bear sex is funny but it's kinda weird how early you meet him compared to when you can actually bring him into your party. Minthara is the same but at least she's an actual evil companion rather than a stupid one like Astarion. The companions I do really like though are Wyll, Karlach and Lae'zel. Wyll and Karlach are genuinly kind and heroic and the way they tie into the main story of act 3 is great. Lae'zel is a similar path to Shadowhearts story of escaping a cult but it's fleshed out so much more and actually has an impact on the larger story with freeing Orpheus.

My least favourite part of the game is the Emperor, he lies to the party constantly for the entire game, says that he's never lied to you, calls you a traitor for looking into other possibilities to save the world and then when you find another possibility he betrays you and joins the evil super brain. What's the point in any of what he did? If joining the absolute was an option that the emperor was willing to consider and go through with, then why was he trying so hard to fight against the absolute? And you can't convince him otherwise, like his plan to eat Orpheus and use that power to go into the final battle is not the only way. One of the options to go into the final battle is to free Orpheus and have a party member become a mind flayer, the only thing you need to succeed is Orpheus and a mind flayer, something we've had the entire time. Why is there no option to get the emperor and Orpheus to work together when that would work? He's a stupid character and I don't like him.

One thing that is a big criticism I have is the choices on what bugs and exploits to fix, over 7 majour patches they've repeatedly failed to fix infinite money exploits. But stuff like the broken elevator in the Shar temple in act 2 is still broken.

I did say that I like the combat, but tactician difficulty makes a lot of it less fun, legendary resistance is a very boring mechanic, a lot of the extra powers that bosses get are usually just frustrating rather than challenging. Mostly it's all right though, it was good to beat it.

Overall Baldurs Gate 3 is like, 6/10

The combat is good, the story and most of the characters are bad.

[distortedmoondisc]

I think we as a fandom don't talk enough about Aira being Hiiro's fan—y'know, as an idol.

It might be because most people don't read the main story, or because it's not blatantly stated in there like other things, but it's something I think is a very unique facet about their relationship.

As we know, Aira separates his professional life and his personal life a lot. He will wait in line to shake hands with Hiyori Tomoe and buy a dozen CDs just to have a couple of extra minutes just talk to him, even though he can do this at any time since they're both idols living in the ES dorms and friends from the same circle.

And while this is admittedly silly from Aira's part, he truly sees this something serious and actually, he's kind of justified in thinking this way? He takes pride in being an idol otaku, and he wants to play as fair as possible with fellow fans, he doesn't want to take advantage of the fact that he's living and working alongside these super stars, and in my eyes that just shows how pure-hearted and honest he is.

With that in mind, it would be obvious to conclude that Aira would be a fan of his unitmates. He's definitely a fan of Tatsumi and Mayoi, but it's explicitly said in the MS that Aira is a fan of Hiiro.

This is from episode 89, "Grace"

(this episode may or may have not changed my brain chemistry forever lol)

Here, Aira makes the statement that he wants to protect Hiiro as an idol.

Hiiro is new to this world; he's a rookie, he's unpolished, far from perfect, but he's brimming with potential and he shines brightly on stage regardless of his imperfections — especially to Aira's eyes, and Aira wants to protect that, he wants to keep Hiiro's shine, and to help him grow and become the great idol Aira sees in him.

And I just can't express how much this means to me??? To their relationship??? This is why I can't understand people who say Aira doesn't care about Hiiro (these are opinions I've read way too often on twitter...), when Aira more than anyone wants to protect him not only as a person (like when he comforts him, cheers him up and motivates him after Rinne disowns him), but also as an idol. Aira trusts in Hiiro the idol. He sees his potential and he admires him deeply — not only as a fellow idol or as a friend, but as a fan.

And what gets me is the wording Aira uses here. He talks about wanting to protect Hiiro, to defend him. This is stated in another chapter and I don't remember exactly where (I believe it's one of the last episodes of the MS, but please correct me if I'm mistaken), but Aira states that he wants to protect Hiiro's purity — and this can be interpreted many ways, be it in that he wants to protect Hiiro's innocence as in his personality trait (his endearing naivety, his trusting and friendly nature, his endless curiosity, his earnestness and sincerity), or his purity as an idol, in the sense that because Hiiro is an idol, he has an appearance to keep, he has to be shining and to be pure and beautiful all the time (because that's the image idols give to the world, to their fans; the image that gives countless of people like Aira hope); this can include protecting Hiiro from the darker sides of the industry, such as toxic fans, unhealthy relationships with fame, corrupted producers or people from the industry, among other things. Aira seems to be aware of these issues (as he mentions in the second chapter of the main story, see below), so it makes sense that he wants to shield Hiiro, who knows absolutely nothing about this industry or the city, from those things.

Episode 24, "Suspicious"

And personally, I think Aira means both. He wants to protect Hiiro's purity as a person: he wants to protect the cheerful and positive Hiiro he knows and loves and admires (Aira himself states this. Multiple times. So much so that Aira often comments about how uncomfortable he feels when Hiiro is gloomy or troubled, that he is always the first to ask what is wrong or if something is bothering him.... but talking about Aira's high perceptiveness for Hiiro's emotions is a topic for another day) — but he also wants to protect Hiiro as an idol, wants to protect the immaculate image he gives to the world and to his fans, because Aira loves him, the same way he loves an idol from a fan standpoint. And he hopes that by protecting this purity, Hiiro will grow to be the talented and shining idol Aira knows he can be.

And what gets me is that after thinking of Hiiro this way, Aira snaps out of his self-deprecating thoughts and decides to give his best in the Ullambana (episode 89). Aira literally overcame his insecurities because of Hiiro. Thinking of having to do his best and keep working hard in order to keep up with him and with Alkaloid gave him the strength he needed to stop spiraling down his own insecurities and focus his efforts into something that was worth it: in keeping Alkaloid alive, and keeping Hiiro The Idol alive, because Aira believes he will become an idol that will soothe, delight and captivate hearts of many like Aira in the future — and Aira has to become an accomplished idol and a strong person if he is to be next to him on stage to protect him and to help him grow.

-

I say a lot, mostly jokingly between my friends, that Aira is the biggest HiiroP... but after writing this whole post, I realize I'm not so far off from this assumption. Aira loves Hiiro as a friend, we all know and understand that, but what is often overlooked is that Aira—who divides his professional and personal life so strictly—recognizes the rookie, unpolished, but talented Hiiro as an idol, and he wants to see him grow and succeed not only as his friend and unitmate, but also as a fan. Hiiro is so shining and wonderful on stage that it awakens the idol-ota instinct on Aira, it brings him back to his roots where he watched and admired idols from afar and inspired and soothed his lonely heart. And honestly? I think this is terribly wholesome, if not incredibly beautiful, and I'm getting emotional over hiiai once again, so I'm going to finish the essay here. Thanks for reading ahdjfk

[youroomwasquare]

In regards to your post about Marcy’s arc, if your right-that marcy got nothing out of her time in amphibia-shouldn’t she hate the place, or at least not want to be associated with it?

Plus, why would she take a career that allows her to engage in escapism and is probably not what her parents wanted, when her whole are is about escapism being bad and that she needs to obey her parents.

first ask!! aaaa!! excitement noises

for your first point-- I think marcy has a lot of conflicting feeling towards amphibia, and towards her own experiences in it. and I want to correct my words-- I do think marcy got something out of amphibia, but it was absolutely NOT what she was looking for, nor did it benefit her or her overall growth in the way that it did for anne and sasha. amphibia showed marcy that her actions have consequences-- brutal consequences. it gave her the step she needed to confront her major flaw of being unable to let go-- which manifested in her always running away. amphibia was where marcy learned that you do eventually have to let go of some things. life does not always go the way you want it to, unfortunately. marcy had to face the things she was running away from in order for her to properly move forward.

also, at the end of the series, marcy learned that she will never truly be alone-- anne and sasha will be there for as long as they are able to-- whether that's in person, in spirit, or through phone calls + the internet. marcy needed the reassurance of their love, that they do care about her, in order to take that extra push and go home with them. does that contradict the whole theme of letting go? perhaps, but learning to let go doesn't mean that you have to let go of everything-- it just means that you have to come to terms with the fact that things will come in and out of your life sometimes. it also doesn't make what you had less real-- in fact, it makes it that much more special. because you're acknowledging the fact it existed, and that you truly cherished the time that you spent with them. THAT'S what marcy learned. her true arc was not that escapism is bad, but more so that you can not run away from certain things. not without bringing yourself (and the people around you) a world of bad. once she realized that anne and sasha are not leaving-- not in the way that she thinks-- that's how she was able to let go. and that's how their friendship can still exist and still grow even after years of on-and-off contact after the move. *** as for her career, the girls likely coped with their experiences-- both good and bad-- in different ways. you can also see how their experiences in amphibia shaped the people they are now. sasha became a child psychologist. anne became a herpetologist. marcy became a comic artist.. not because she's still engaging in the same kind of escapism, but because she's using that escapism as a healthy outlet. no longer is marcy running away-- rather, she's taking charge of her own life and doing the things that SHE wants to do. you have to remember-- escapism as a concept isn't bad, per say. escapism only becomes unhealthy when it hinders your own life, or negatively impacts the people around you. we all indulge in a form of escapism from time to time in some way, shape, or form-- our favorite books, movies, TV shows, etc etc. even though marcy's still getting lost in fantasy worlds-- they're ones that she creates, and not because she's trying to run away from anything, rather, fantasy worlds and creativity have always been a part of who marcy wu is. amphibia wasn't marcy's first taste of escapism-- nor was it the last-- it was just the most unhealthy and prominent one. and marcy likely worked on fixing her relationship with fantasy and figuring out the limits of her escapist tendencies. especially when it becomes necessary to ground yourself back to reality. marcy has always gotten lost in fantasy worlds-- it's a core part of her established personality. if she can express it in healthy ways, why would it be a negative trait? lastly, about her parents, I honestly don't know much about the wus besides what we were given in canon. do I think the way they handled breaking the news to her was absolutely not the right way to go about it? YES! do I think she may have a slightly rocky relationship with them? also yes.. sort of. but by the end of the series, marcy is an adult. her parents should really have 0 say as to what she wants to do with her life at that point. and while we can see that they seem to value more.. traditional career paths (at least from the subtext of the show), I definitely don't think that was what the writers wanted to close marcy's story on. marcy, in my opinion, didn't move for her parents-- she moved because that was the culmination of her arc. she started the series running away from the move, and ended it with the intentions of making things right-- starting by going through with the move. marcy, by that point in the series, knew that her friendship with anne & sasha was unbreakable-- and that was her main reason as to why she opposed it in the beginning. this allowed her to walk out of the skin of her old self, towards a new beginning. and who knows? perhaps marcy wu flourished in massachusetts. I'm content with epilogue marcy. to me at least, she looks very happy.

[avpdpossum]

Hello! Hoping anyone that comes across this could share their thoughts as well, but I was curious if you consider personality disorders on their own as neurodivergent? Why or why not? Thank you

they absolutely are neurodivergent!

i think a lot of people’s introduction to the concept of neurodivergence is through the autistic and adhd communities, and that leads people to assume neurodivergence only includes things you’re born with, but that’s not actually the case.

here’s how i would explain neurodivergence:

the social Powers That Be in our current (Western, capitalist, etc) society have designated certain ways of thinking, feeling, perceiving, and so on as the Correct Ways of Existing.

most of our world is built on the assumption that everyone’s brains will work that way, because that’s the way they “should” work. when people’s brains don’t work that way, it’s assumed that the solution is to find a way to “fix” them or get rid of them.

as a result, people whose brains do work in that way have an easier time navigating the world and are generally treated better by it, while people whose brains deviate from that expectation in some way have a more difficult time navigating a world not built with them in mind and are treated as “wrong”/“bad”.

people in the first group, who can navigate the world with very little added stigma or difficulty as a result of the way their brains work, would be considered neurotypical.

people in the second group, who do face added stigma and barriers to functioning as a result of the way their brains work, would be considered neurodivergent.

so, if you want to determine if something makes someone neurodivergent, you can ask yourself a few questions:

does it have to do with their psychology/neurology?

does it affect their thinking, emotions, perceptions, or other brain functions in a way that is considered “abnormal” by current social norms?

does it carry a stigma and make them more likely to be mistreated?

does it cause them extra difficulty with navigating and functioning in the world?

if the answers to those questions are yes, chances are it’s a form of neurodivergence!

so, if we look at those questions for personality disorders:

this is the easiest answer — yes!

personality disorders are classified as “mental illnesses”, put in the dsm, and generally assumed to be under the jurisdiction of psychiatry, so i think we can pretty safely say that yes, personality disorders are seen as “abnormal” forms of brain functioning according to current social norms.

personality disorders and their traits are incredibly stigmatized — pwpds are assumed to be violent, abusive, generally bad people, and so on. this is most visibly true for cluster b pds, but stigma against the other pds and against the personality disorder category in general is also very real. so this one’s a yes — pwpds are very frequently mistreated on the basis of our brains being “wrong”.

personality disorders, by definition, come with some sort of functioning difficulties, and the world isn’t built to accommodate those differences in functioning. as an example, think of the high expectations of emotional regulation (not “too” emotional but not “cold” either) and social capability in professional spaces, even ones where emotions and social interactions don’t affect a person’s ability to do the job well. that makes this one a yes too; a society that took pwpds into account would seek to accommodate the areas we struggle with and ensure that there’s a place for us, and that definitely isn’t happening right now.

so yeah, according to my own personal understanding of neurodivergence, personality disorders absolutely count. we diverge from the assumed norms of psychological/neurological functioning, so we count as neurodivergent, even those of us who aren’t also neurodivergent in other ways.

on a personal level, i can say i feel no real difference in how i internally experience being audhd vs how i experience my personality disorders — they both just feel like my brain doing its thing, sometimes in ways that are unpleasant/difficult for me to deal with and sometimes in ways that just feel totally fine and unremarkable from my point of view. i also rarely notice a difference in how neurotypical people treat them — they usually don’t know the difference between audhd “weirdness” vs avoidant/narcissistic/schizospec/dissociative “weirdness”, it’s all just one big blob of Weird And Bad And Wrong to most people. the only time they’re ever really treated as different is when certain other neurodivergent people try to separate the two.

trying to draw lines between neurodivergence and “mental illness” (which is usually what’s happening when people say pds aren’t a form of neurodivergence) doesn’t actually help anyone. in my opinion, it’s basically just a way for certain people to try to get ahead by putting other people down — it says “accept us because we’re different in the good way, not in the bad way! we’re not sick like those people!” and that kind of attitude doesn’t do anyone any good. sure, the experiences that come with having a since-birth neurodivergence can be different from those that come with having an acquired neurodivegence, but people within those groups also have different experiences because everyone’s experience is going to be unique, we’re all different people in different circumstances! diversity of experiences among neurodivergent people is to be expected and is honestly a good thing, not a reason to avoid associating with each other.

in my experience, the people who insist that pds aren’t true neurodivergences are usually pretty damn sanist toward pwpds - they exclude us because they don’t want to be associated with us, they want to be accepted but they don’t think we should be so they try to make us seem totally different from them. in reality, neurodivergence is a broad umbrella and there’s room under it for all of us.