#the most accurate depiction of what is going to be the rest of my life

[olgadealexandria]

I LIVE for art. Like really. Do I breathe and eat art? Almost. What should I do in this economy? 😭😭

[d-z20]

The Agent Next Door part 3 (NSFW)

Pairing: Agent Rio Vidal x Reader

Summary: When a ghost from Rio's past resurfaces, the safe haven you’ve built together is threatened. As danger edges closer, your bond deepens in unexpected ways, testing your trust and strength in each other. Amidst fear and uncertainty, you discover just how far both of you are willing to go to protect what matters most.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, angst, smut, fluff ending, fingering (R recv), oral (Rio recv), praise kink, slight power bottom Rio

Words: 4.2k

A/N: The angsty third (and final?) part as promised

AO3 | Part 1 | Part 2 | Master List

Under Her Protection

You’re sprawled out on Rio’s couch, nestled comfortably against her side as the TV plays in the background. It’s the kind of night you’ve both come to love—no plans, no rush, just the two of you together, half-watching some crime drama. You can feel the steady rise and fall of her chest as you rest your head there, her arm slung casually around your shoulders, fingers absently tracing patterns on your arm.

It’s a rare, peaceful moment, one that you’ve started to cherish more and more. You glance up at her; she looks different like this—softer. The usual tension in her jaw has melted away; her sharp features relaxed in a way you rarely get to see. You smile to yourself, the sight of her at ease filling you with a quiet kind of joy. She’s not just the composed, authoritative FBI agent you first met. Here, she’s Rio—your Rio—and you could watch her like this forever.

You press a kiss to her jaw, feeling her smile against your lips.

“Enjoying the show?” she asks, her voice teasing. You know she couldn’t care less about what’s on the screen, but it’s a running joke between the two of you—mocking the exaggerated, overly dramatic FBI agents depicted on TV.

“Oh, absolutely,” you drawl, playing along. “I just love how accurate it all is. Clearly, every case is solved in a day, and all agents wear heels and leather jackets.”

Rio chuckles, pulling you closer. “It’s ridiculous,” she snorts. “Half of this would get thrown out in court in a heartbeat. And don’t even get me started on the ‘enhance the grainy footage’ bullshit.”

You grin, enjoying the rare, playful side of her. “I bet you’d never pull a stunt like that. The great Agent Vidal would never dream of cutting corners.”

She raises an eyebrow, her smirk sharp. “Oh, you’d be surprised what I’ve pulled off. Sometimes rules are more like... guidelines.”

You laugh, leaning into her, and she squeezes your shoulder lightly. For a moment, everything feels easy—peaceful.

Then her phone buzzes, cutting through the quiet. She lets out a small sigh and picks it up, her expression immediately shifting as she reads the message. The shift is so sudden it makes your stomach drop. Without a word, she gets up and walks to the window, peering through the blinds like she’s expecting to see something—or someone—out there.

“Rio?” You ask cautiously, sitting up. “What’s wrong?”

She doesn’t answer right away, her shoulders visibly tense. Finally, she lets the blinds fall back into place and turns to you, her expression grim. “That was work,” she says, her voice low and controlled. “Someone I put away years ago just got released on parole. He... wasn’t supposed to get out this soon.”

You frown, confused. “Why is that a problem? Didn’t he serve his time?”

Her jaw tightens, and for a moment, you think she won’t answer. Then she sighs, running a hand through her hair. “The last time I saw him, he threatened to ruin my life,” she says quietly. “He’s dangerous. And vindictive. If he finds out where I live... who you are... how much I lov—.”

She doesn’t finish the sentence, but she doesn’t have to. The implications hang heavy in the air. You swallow hard, suddenly very aware of the weight of her job and the risks that come with it.

“Hey,” you say softly, standing and moving to her side. “I’m sure it’s fine. He probably doesn’t even know you’re here.”

Her eyes meet yours, and for the first time since you met her, you see real fear there. “Maybe. But I can’t take that chance.” She pauses, her hand brushing your arm. “I want you to stay here. At least until I figure out what’s going on.”

The seriousness in her tone leaves no room for argument, and you nod. “Okay. I’ll stay.”

You settle back onto the couch together, but the atmosphere has shifted now, an unspoken tension lingering in the room. Rio keeps her phone close, her other arm wrapped protectively around you, her eyes flicking back to the window every so often.

You try to focus on the TV show, but your thoughts keep drifting. It’s unsettling, this shadow of a threat hanging over the two of you, and you can tell Rio feels it too. Her grip on you tightens every time she hears a noise from outside, her thumb rubbing circles against your arm as if she’s trying to soothe both of you.

Eventually, you turn your head to look up at her. “You know, I don’t need a TV show when I’ve got my own personal action hero right here.”

Rio snorts, shaking her head. “Is that what I am now?”

“Yep,” you say, grinning up at her. “Neighbour, fashion critic, and now... bodyguard.”

She rolls her eyes but leans down to press a kiss to your lips, soft and lingering. “Just stay close, okay?”

You nod, your heart fluttering at the protectiveness in her voice. “I’m not going anywhere, Rio.”

Relief flashes across her face, but it’s fleeting. She takes your hand, leading you to her bedroom without another word. The silence between you is heavy but not uncomfortable—it’s charged, humming with unspoken worry and a need for closeness.

When you get to the bed, her hands are on you immediately, tugging you close. There’s a new intensity to her touch, her fingers gripping your hips firmly, almost possessively. She kisses you hard, like she’s trying to stake her claim, her mouth moving with an urgency you’ve never felt from her before.

“Rio—” you start, but she cuts you off with another kiss, her hands sliding under your shirt, nails raking up your skin. Her lips move to your neck, sucking and biting hard enough to leave marks that you know will last. It’s not just passion—it’s something deeper, rawer. Like she needs to prove to herself that you’re here, that you’re hers.

You let her take the lead, your own hands roaming her body, trying to reassure her in your own way. But she’s relentless, her mouth trailing lower, her teeth grazing your collarbone. She pushes you back onto the bed, her weight settling over you as she pins your wrists above your head.

Her gaze is dark, her eyes searching yours. “I need to know you’re safe,” she murmurs, her voice rough. “I need to feel it.”

You nod, your heart pounding in your chest. “I’m not going anywhere,” you whisper, and it’s the truth.

Her grip on your wrists tightens briefly before she leans down, kissing you again, slower this time but no less intense. 

The night is a blur of heated touches and whispered reassurances, her possessiveness never crossing the line into discomfort. Instead, it leaves you breathless, the depth of her need for you pulling you even closer.

When you finally fall asleep, tangled in her arms, the weight of her protectiveness wraps around you like a shield. Even as your mind drifts, you know this is only the beginning of whatever storm is coming. But with her by your side, you’re ready to face it.

—

You’ve been staying at Rio’s apartment for a week now, and every night, her hold on you seems to grow tighter. Even in her sleep, her arms remain locked around you, as though her subconscious refuses to let you out of her grasp. It’s a level of protectiveness you’re not used to, but you can’t deny how safe it makes you feel.

The days are a strange mix of normalcy and subtle unease. You run errands, cook together, and share quiet moments on her couch. But in the back of your mind, there’s always a faint sense of being watched. You’ve chalked it up to paranoia—Rio’s warning had a way of sticking with you, and you tell yourself you’re just imagining things.

Still, it’s hard to ignore the nagging feeling when you start seeing the same person more than once. A tall figure with a hood pulled low over their face, lingering at the edge of your vision. You’ve seen them on the street, at the corner store, and now again as you leave the grocery shop, arms full of bags. You glance over your shoulder, your pulse quickening as you catch sight of them just a few steps behind.

You quicken your pace, gripping the bags tightly. Your heart pounds in your chest as you cut across the street and head for the apartment building. You take a chance and glance back again. They’re still following.

By the time you reach Rio’s apartment door, your hands are shaking so badly you almost drop your keys. You fumble with the lock, finally getting the door open and slamming it shut behind you. You lock it, bolting the deadlock for good measure.

You text Rio immediately: I think I was followed. Just got back. Door locked.

The response comes quickly. Stay put. Don’t answer the door for anyone. I’m coming back now.

You breathe out, trying to calm yourself, but as you read her words, a new sound sends a chill down your spine. A faint rattle at the door.

Your stomach drops, and you freeze, staring at the door as the sound grows louder. It’s not your imagination. Someone’s trying the handle. Your mind races, and you grab the closest thing within reach—a table lamp. It’s not exactly a weapon, but it’ll have to do. Your grip tightens on the lamp’s base as the rattling stops, replaced by a loud bang.

The door crashes open, splintering the frame, and the hooded figure steps inside. They’re taller than you thought, their broad frame filling the doorway as they pause, scanning the room. You take a shaky step back, your heart pounding in your ears.

“Well, well,” he says, his voice dripping with malice. “Look who’s made themselves right at home. You must be the little pet she’s been keeping around.” 

Your mind races, and you instinctively take a step back, trying to put the kitchen island between you and him. “Who the hell are you?” you demand. 

He smirks, leaning against the doorframe. “You don’t know me, but Rio does. She’s the reason I spent the last ten years rotting away in a cell. Thought I’d pay her back by taking something she cares about.”

He lunges at you with a knife, and you barely manage to swing the lamp, hitting him across the face. He staggers back, but only for a moment, then charges at you again. You fight back, kicking and screaming, but he’s strong—stronger than you expected. He pins you against the wall, one hand around your throat. 

“That’s right, scream for her,” he growls. “Let’s see if she gets here in time.” 

You’re gasping for air, your vision blurring, when suddenly, the already broken door is rammed open again, falling off its hinges from the force of the action. 

Rio barges in, her gun drawn, her expression a mixture of fury and fear. “Let them go,” she says, her voice deadly calm, the kind that promises retribution. 

The man tightens his grip on you, pulling you in front of him as a shield. “Shoot me, and you’ll hit them,” he taunts. 

Rio’s eyes meet yours, and you can see the raw, helpless anger there. You’ve never seen her look so terrified.

The man tightens his grip on you, and your vision starts to black. Your pulse pounds in your ears, the lack of air making your limbs feel heavy. Rio stands frozen in the doorway, her gun unwavering, her eyes locked on the man holding you.

“Let them go,” Rio repeats, her voice low and seething with barely restrained fury.

The man smirks, his grip loosening just enough for you to gasp for air. “You really think you’ve got the upper hand here, bitch? You’re so predictable—always running to play the hero.”

Rio doesn’t flinch. “This is the last chance I’ll give you. Let. Them. Go. Now.”

He sneers, then suddenly shoves you away with all his strength. You stumble, hitting the edge of the kitchen counter hard before crumpling to the floor, pain flaring in your side. Rio’s shout of your name echoes through the room, but you can barely focus as you clutch at your ribs, trying to steady your breathing.

The distraction is all Rio needs. She lunges at him before he can turn back to her, knocking the knife from his hand as they crash to the floor. The struggle is brutal—a chaotic blur of punches and grunts as Rio fights with a ferocity you’ve never seen before.

He manages to pin her briefly, his hands going for her throat, but Rio uses the momentum to roll them over, her knee pressing into his chest. She grabs the cuff of his wrist and twists him onto his stomach, forcing him to let out a pained shout as she pins his arm behind his back.

“You should’ve let them go,” she growls, forcing his face against the floor. He thrashes beneath her, but her grip is unrelenting, her strength fuelled by sheer fury.

She pulls her cuffs from her belt, snapping them onto his wrists with a finality that fills the room. She grabs his hair and yanks his head up, knee still pressing into his back. “And now you’re going to pay,” she says coldly before smashing his face into the ground, breaking his nose, and knocking him unconscious.

Her eyes flick to you, her expression softening with worry. “Are you okay?”

Before you can answer, Rio pulls out her phone, calling for backup. Her voice is calm and clipped as she gives the necessary details, but her free hand remains clenched at her side, still shaking from the adrenaline.

When the call ends, she crouches next to you, her hands ghosting over your body, careful not to touch the areas where you’re clearly in pain. “Hey, let me see,” she murmurs, her tone gentle now. “Where are you hurt?”

You wince as you shift, trying to sit up. “Just... my side. Think I hit the counter pretty hard.”

Her jaw tightens, and for a moment, you think she might explode all over again—but she just exhales, brushing a hand over your hair. “Backup’s on the way. He’s not going anywhere. I promise you’re safe now.”

You nod weakly, and she leans closer, her forehead briefly touching yours. The tension in her body doesn’t ease until the distant wail of sirens signals that help has arrived. Even then, her focus stays on you, her protective presence a shield between you and the man who dared to threaten what she holds most dear.

With the chaos finally under control and the intruder hauled away in handcuffs, Rio keeps a steady arm around you as she guides you back across the hall to your apartment. You can still feel the tremors in your hands, the echo of fear and adrenaline in your veins, but her presence is grounding.

As the door closes behind you, she doesn’t let go. Instead, she leads you to the couch, sitting beside you with her arm securely around your shoulders. “You okay?” she asks softly, her fingers brushing a stray lock of hair from your face.

You nod, leaning into her touch. “Yeah. Just... processing.”

A flicker of guilt crosses Rio’s face. “I never should’ve left you alone.”

“You couldn’t have known,” you reply, reaching up to squeeze her hand. “And you came back in time. That’s what matters.”

She exhales heavily, her arms tightening around you protectively. For a while, neither of you speak, the silence broken only by the rhythmic sound of her breathing. Then she shifts, her thumb brushing against your knuckles. “I mean it, though—I’m not letting you out of my sight for a while.”

You roll your eyes but don’t argue. The truth is, you don’t mind the idea of her staying close.

As the evening wears on, you begin to feel a sense of normalcy returning. Wrapped in her arms, you finally let your guard down, the weight of the day melting away. You tilt your head up to meet her gaze, your heart skipping as you notice the way she’s looking at you—soft yet intent.

“You’re staring,” you tease, your voice quiet.

“Can’t help it,” she murmurs, a faint smirk tugging at her lips. “You’re kind of hard to look away from.”

Your cheeks flush, but before you can respond, her lips capture yours in a kiss that’s slow and deliberate, like she’s savouring every moment. You respond eagerly, your fingers tangling in her hair as she shifts to deepen the kiss.

Somehow, the two of you end up lying on the couch, her body pressing against yours as your hands roam freely, exploring the familiar territory with renewed fervour. She pulls away just long enough to catch her breath, her forehead resting against yours. “Bedroom?” she whispers, her voice husky.

You nod, your heart racing as she helps you to your feet. The walk to the bedroom is brief, but each step feels charged with anticipation. 

You guide her to the bed, her hand sliding into yours as you both move with an unspoken understanding. She lets you press her down gently so she’s sitting on the mattress, her signature smirk tugging at her lips. “So, this is how it’s going to be tonight?” she teases, her voice low, challenging but still laced with warmth. Her eyes glint with curiosity, though you can sense she’s enjoying this shift in control. “Guess I can let you take the lead. Just this once.”

You can’t help but laugh softly, leaning down to press a playful kiss to her lips. “Call it a thank you for saving me. Hero perks, right?” You reply, your voice just as teasing.

Her chuckle rumbles low in her throat as her hands settle lightly on your hips, grounding you. “You’ve got an interesting way of saying thanks,” she murmurs, tilting her head to expose her neck—an invitation and a challenge all at once. “But I’m not complaining.”

You take her challenge with a grin, leaning down to press your lips to her neck, your kisses starting soft but quickly growing more heated. You find the spot just below her ear where her skin is most sensitive, and when she lets out a low, pleased hum, you focus your attention there. Your tongue darts out, followed by a sharp nip of your teeth, before you suck on her skin, leaving a mark to match the ones she gave you just nights ago.

She tilts her head back with a soft gasp, her fingers tightening their grip on your hips. “You’re getting good at that,” she murmurs, her tone teasing but breathless. Her words spur you on, and you trail more kisses down her neck, each one deliberate, each one claiming her in your own way.

As your lips continue their path, your hands slide over her body, unbuttoning her shirt and tugging it off. Your eyes roam her, taking in every inch of her toned body and the way her muscles flex under your touch.

“Enjoying the view?” she teases, arching a brow, but there’s a flush on her cheeks that betrays her confidence.

“Absolutely,” you reply without hesitation, earning a quiet laugh from her.

Your hands move to the waistband of her pants, your fingers brushing against her skin as you pull them down, leaving her bare before you. You grab her hips, pulling her into you so she’s perched on the edge of the bed, your legs pushing her knees further apart. Her dark eyes meet yours, filled with a mixture of anticipation and challenge, and you can’t help but feel a surge of affection and desire for her all at once.

“You look good like this,” you say softly, your hands trailing up her thighs as you kneel between them.

Rio leans back on her palms, her smirk widening. “Show me just how grateful you are, sweetheart.”

Looking directly into Rio’s eyes, you drag your tongue through her wetness. 

“That’s it,” she breathes, her voice huskier now. Her nails coming to dig lightly into your shoulder as her body shifts beneath you. 

Hooking your arms under her legs, you push your face further into Rio, tongue pressing firmer against her clit and she rolls her hips at the sensation. Your tongue swirls over and around her bundle of nerves, eliciting more praise. “You’re so good at this, sweetheart,” she says, her tone uncharacteristically tender.

The praise makes your stomach flip, and you press your thighs together, feeling your arousal soak your underwear.

You notice the subtle change in her demeanour, her usual teasing grin replaced by something softer, more vulnerable. Her hands grip you tightly, but there’s a gentleness to her touch you hadn’t expected. “I don’t give up control often. But with you... it feels right.” Her voice falters slightly, and the admission makes your heart ache with tenderness.

As her orgasm builds, she finally lets go entirely, her usual defences falling away. Her head tilts back, her breathy praises and quiet gasps filling the space. After she reaches her peak, she pulls you up to her, her arms wrapping around you tightly as if grounding herself. “You’re incredible,” she whispers into your ear, her lips brushing against your temple as she catches her breath. “But don’t think I’m done with you yet.”

Her smirk returns, this time sharper, more determined. Before you can respond, she drags you down on to the bed, flipping you gently onto your back. Her strength is firm but careful, her lips curling in amusement at your surprised expression. “Your turn,” she murmurs, her voice low and promising. She begins to trail kisses down your body, her actions deliberate and knowing. “Let me show you how grateful I am,” she adds, her grin growing as your body arches beneath her touch.

With that, she strips you, her soft hands feeling all over your body. When her fingers trail up your thigh, she lets out a soft chuckle at the feeling of your arousal dripping. “Seems like someone enjoyed the praise.” 

You whimper as her fingers press lightly against your clit.

“You made me feel so good, baby.” Her middle finger slides lower. “Such a clever girl.” She teases your entrance. “You know exactly how I like it.” She pushes her finger in.

“Yes, fuck, yes,” you moan as it curls inside you. “More.”

Rio slides another finger in, biting her lip and groaning at how easily you take it. "Oh, darling, you’re taking me so well,” she praises, starting to pump her fingers in and out. She adds a third, and you feel the familiar tightening in your stomach. She picks up the pace, fucking all of the tension from the night out of you both. “You look so good like this,” she coos.

Arching into her touch, head pushing into the mattress, you keen, “Oh fuck. Rio, you’re going to make me cum.”

“That’s it, sweetheart; you’re doing so well, cum for me,” she whispers against your skin, kissing your neck.

Your mouth falls open, a breathless cry escaping as your orgasm overtakes you. The tension that had been building within you shatters, a wave of heat and pleasure coursing through your body. You arch into her, every nerve alight, the sensation so overwhelming that it renders you momentarily weightless. A strangled gasp follows, your voice raw and unrestrained, her name slipping from your lips like a plea and a prayer all at once.

—

Later, as the two of you lay tangled in the sheets, Rio’s arms wrap tightly around you, holding you, refusing to let go. The tension of the night seems to fade, replaced by a sense of closeness you hadn’t fully realised until now. She presses a kiss to the top of your head, her fingers tracing absent patterns along your back.

“You know,” she begins softly, her voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t usually do this—let people in, I mean. I don’t let myself feel this way.” She hesitates, her grip on you tightening slightly. “But with you... I can’t imagine not having you here.”

Your chest tightens at her words, and you tilt your head to meet her gaze. The raw vulnerability in her eyes makes your heart ache. “Rio...” you begin, your voice trembling slightly as your hand brushes against her cheek. “I love you.”

Her lips part in surprise, and then her smile grows, soft and genuine in a way you rarely see. “Took you long enough to say it,” she teases, though her voice is thick with emotion. She leans down, brushing her lips against yours in a kiss that’s slow and tender. When she pulls back, her eyes lock with yours. “I love you too, you know.”

You crack a small smile. “So, I guess you’re gonna be the one crashing at my place now, huh? Seeing as it’s your door that got kicked in this time,” you say, breaking the tender moment.

Rio blinks at you, then lets out a soft laugh. “You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?”

“Not a chance,” you reply, grinning now.

[wombywoo]

Hello!!

I wanted to ask if you would be willing to share how you go about finding the references for the injuries you depict in your work? Your pieces where the CoD boys are sporting injuries, fresh and old, are always so lifelike and to my untrained eye seem entirely medically correct.

I have been trying my hand at drawing the boys retired and resting as well, but I’m finding it difficult to decide what work injuries to add and how to find the respective references.

How do you decide what injuries to portray? And how do you go about finding the reference material?

Your huge fan, amustikas

Oooh ok ok! I'm gonna post my answer publically because I think others would find this interesting too!

To preface, I am definitely NOT a medical professional, and as such, a lot of the stuff I choose to depict in my art is not so much..ah, medically accurate as it is....aesthetically pleasing 🤭

I'll start with scars, as a lot of us enjoy slashing up Simon's face with them, lol. Generally, I'll do a cursory google image search for the type of scar I'm looking for (be warned, these can be graphic) with searches like 'burn scar' 'surgery scar' etc. But I find that for things like cuts and lacerations, real-life scars are a bit innocuous and lame 🤷‍♀️ Unfortunately not everyone's skin wants to retain that perfect slash look™️😔

So what I usually end up referencing are costume prosthetic scars ✨

As you can see, they're pretty gnarly:

And you definitely don't have to go this intense, but I find that the dramatic, carved-like appearance of these translate better to art than a realistically healed wound 🤙

The other thing to consider is the prevalence of injuries in the military. From what I've gathered, the most common will be back/shoulder/limb injuries, just a general fucking up of the whole musculoskeletal system in general due to constant overuse 🤕 Hearing loss, shrapnel/blast/burn injuries are also common, as well as all the negative psychological effects :') goooood times (not)

I think it's neat to look up real-life examples of these things, but it can get a bit intense if you're squeamish...

SafeSearch is OFF, the horrors are REal 😳

So yeah...I tend to tone things down, all things considered...😅

For this particular piece:

I researched broken humerus injuries and treatment 👍 Poor boy 🥺(Yes, I am aware that I consumed entire articles and did a shit ton of research about this just to go ahead and put a female's x-ray in this fucking picture sdfghjkl rip💀😭)

But here you can see the actual process for applying the brace for this particular injury:

Neat, eh?

When I draw Johnny with a knee brace, it's usually a real authentic one you can buy on amazon:

Product placement blast!!!💥✨ Bezos, where is my cut?? 🫰

As for ones like this:

I tend to just...scatter some wounds around and patch them up accordingly, lol. Bruising around the eyes is common with any head injury, and surgical stitching will offer a nice puckered skin effect mmm 👌 (I swear I'm normal abt this)

I'm sure the medical malpractice lawsuits are stacking up for me now, but again--it's usually more about the ✨visuals✨

My parting advice would be--go nuts! Feel free to maim and mutilate and mangle to your heart's content 🥰

Thank you for the question, Amustikas! I love your art as well 💗🫶

[writingwithcolor]

Running Commentary: What is “ok to do” in Mixed-Culture Supernatural Fiction?

Dear readers: 

Today we are trying something new. To give you some insight into our process in the Japanese moderator section, we are presenting our response in the form of running commentary to show you how we dissect and answer long asks. We hope this makes clear what points are useful and not useful when sending us a query. As always, this is for learning purposes, not callouts. Be prepared: this is a long one. 

To summarize: the asker is looking to create a comic drawn in Japanese manga style, and has provided a long summary of the story and worldbuilding which involves a mix of “reimagined” Japanese yokai mythos and cultural symbols from many other sources. They have questions with respect to cultural appropriation, coding etiquette, and “what is and isn’t ok.” 

Opening Comments

I know a common advice when it comes to the thing I am about to ask is to talk to people involved in __, but I struggle with opening up to strangers for reasons I'm uncomfortable explaining. 

Marika (M): This is already a red flag. If you want to engage with another culture without talking to people from that culture, then research is going to be very challenging. You won’t have members of that culture to guide you towards sources and perspectives they feel most accurately represents public opinion. If I were in your shoes, I might start with tackling my discomfort when engaging with other people, if only to improve my work. If you aren’t ready to engage with a culture and its people directly, then I think you should wait until you are. 

I should note, reaching out to the Japanese mod team at WWC does count as engagement, but WWC should not and cannot be the only point of contact because there is no single, legitimate cultural perspective. 

Rina (R): Also, you don’t need to “open up” to strangers or talk to them in person to get perspectives. Asking specific research questions anonymously to a forum or on social media requires very little vulnerability. You managed to do it here on WWC. So give it a try! 

Anyway, my question basically amounts to the what is and isn't ok [sic] in terms of depicting fantasy creatures and concepts outside of their respective culture.

R: So, the reason why we turn away rubber stamp questions by that ask “is XYZ okay?” is because “okay” & “not okay” 1) is vague and 2) creates a dichotomy where there isn’t one. 

When we say something is “not okay,” do we mean:

It’s offensive to the general majority of XYZ group? 

It’s contentious among people who ID in the group? 

It has a potential to be interpreted in a certain negative way, but may not be a red flag to everyone?

Insetad try asking:

What are the reasons this subject is offensive? 

What makes cultural appropriation bad? 

When might it be “okay” to intentionally discuss a difficult or controversial topic?

What is your reason for including something that may be interpreted as offensive and can it be sufficiently justified? 

What stereotypes or tropes might it be consistently identified as or associated with, and why? 

When might it be justified to bring up these tropes?

With That In Mind...

Let’s get into the rest of the ask below. 

…a story I've been working on in recent times is largely inspired off the Japanese yokai, and the setting is basically Earth in the far future, as far as when the next supercontinent may form. These yokai, although portrayed differently here, do retain their main characteristics [...] Included in this world are two goddesses of my own creation, primarily representing the sun and the moon. [...] There will be thirteen nations, named and based after the Chinese Zodiac, and the life force found in the living things in this world, called qi, comes in two forms that are always opposing each other but can never fully overpower the other, this being based off yin and yang. They're even directly named this; yin qi and yang qi.

M: This reads more like using Japanese and Chinese culture for the “aesthetics”, not the cultures themselves, which I personally feel falls under cultural appropriation. From a world-building/ coding standpoint, the actual use of concepts is workable, and, dare I say, typical, given how Chinese cosmology influences Japanese culture. However, naming a concept “yin qi” or “yang qi” is the equivalent of naming something “- charge” or “+ charge”, respectively. That you don’t seem aware of this tells me you are pretty early in your research phase. In that vein, we’ve covered translating terms and names from foreign languages in fantasy before. See the following article linked here for our recommendation against using RL terms outright but instead encouraging people to create their own conlangs. 

R: Worldbuilding-wise, I think you would have to figure out the chicken-or-egg of the zodiac nations. Did the nations come first, and the zodiac later as an origin folk story (which you would have to rewrite to serve the nation-building narrative)? Did the zodiac come first, and the nations named (most likely re-named) by a political entity? What is the justification? Otherwise, again, it’s a shoehorning of aesthetics. 

There is also a third, lesser known god based off of fox spirits and trickery and I imagined he's the patron deity of a family that honors and worships him, but his influence on them has transformed them into Kitsune-tsuki, which I depict as fox-like anthros. 

M: Not related to this ask directly, but I have jokingly ranted about how often non-Japanese people prefer using imagery related to kitsune-tsuki in Japanese coded world-building (link). This makes me feel the same level of petty irritation. See my troll answer below for a similar experience.

R: Same. It’s boring tbh. 

M: Troll Answer: I get that kitsune-tsuki are very sexy furries, but Japanese folklore has other sexy furries too! These underrepresented demographics also deserve recognition and appreciation!!

The plot of the story is this; modernization has left the goddesses neglected of their worship and forgotten, something that is necessary in this world to stop them from fighting each other. The Moon Goddess awakens first, punishing the humans by unleashing the yokai. Then the Sun Goddess wakes up to fight in humanity's defense…

M: This could feel rather like Shinto-like coding (Ex. the myth of Amaterasu and the Cave, or Tsukuyomi slaying Ukemochi), but something about this scenario feels a bit too binary in terms of themes of good v. evil, light v. dark to be Shinto. The plot also feels more Gaelic/ Nordic in influence for me as a person raised in a Japanese Buddhist and Hindu household. I imagine this dissonance could have been fixed with better guided research. 

…but their fighting has caused a perma-eclipse and this world is in danger of ending. The yokai have run rampant; some are loyal to the Moon Goddess, and some aren't, and it lies to the main characters to bring balance back to Midgard. Yeah... the name of this future Earth is Midgard. I debate changing it since it and some other things I will mention sorta feel out of place.

R: Marika, looks like you were right on the Gaelic/Nordic influence /j 

Also, worldbuilding question: if the Earth is in the far geologic future, how long has it been since modernization (19th-20th century)? Centuries? Millennia? How long has this fighting gone on for? What triggered the perma-eclipse, and why now? Why is this time depth necessary? 

One of the main characters in question is a humanoid woman with wolf features named Ling, and she is a descendant of the dynasty that had first ruled the one of the nations, particularly the one based off the dragon zodiac. She accidentally summons the other main character to this world as she's praying at a shrine, a humanoid with dragon features--I call them drakon--named Angelynn.

[on the names of characters] is it appropriating by not having the world entirely based on [Chinese, Japanese, and Indian] influence? it's a little weird to me how worldwide the creatures are referred to as yokai, implying a strong Japanese influence not unlike how it is today with Western culture being so dominant, yet there are still names like Keith and Kiara.

M: I will give you credit for recognizing you have unconsciously veered towards white-washing/ race-bending: either presenting European cultural influences (drakons, Angelynn, Keith, Kiara, Midgard) as default or utilizing general E. Asian cultural influences and aesthetics for a Western-style story (Ling, qi, Chinese zodiac, yokai). I agree with you that this creates a sense of cultural dissonance. At this point, I’d say you have a clear choice: write a Western-style high fantasy using a background with which you have more familiarity, or get some better guidance on research with East Asian cultures so you can code the story more effectively. 

The focus of this story is centered around meeting all these yokai and showing that there's more nuance to them than Ling believes, all while saving the world. But I worry if I'm appropriating these concepts and creatures by 1, drawing from more than one culture--I initially imagined that there would be a mix of Chinese, Japanese and Indian influence because according to a website I am getting the info on yokai from, the yokai in question already draw inspiration from or have been based on something in Chinese mythology or Hinduism [...]

R: Sure, some yokai have Chinese or Hindu parallels as that tends to happen with folk tales. But not all–some are unique to Japan, and some are more modern. Sometimes it’s very political–some people consider the Ainu Korpokkur as being a “Yokai of Japan” despite it belonging to the indigenous culture. It’s up to you to research, untangle, and understand these influences. 

The fact that you bring up that the Asian continent has seen a lot of cultural exchange is not a sufficient reason to randomly combine influences for the sake of visual appeal or “coolness.” That is appropriation. These influences must be understood in their historical context so that you know how/why certain things combined or morphed into another, and what makes sense to combine/morph. 

M: This also indicates that the character views the yokai as evil/inherently bad, which I would argue is not a typical stance for much Japanese folklore. Again, this shows a deficit in research. 

2, reimagining these yokai in a new context even though I have done the research on them, because one thing I kept seeing in regards to cultural appropriation is that it's bad to do that […]

R: Refer above to my note on “okay” and “not okay.” The thing with folklore and fairy tales is that every–and I mean every–folk tale is reinterpreted with every new iteration of it. Reimagining in a new context is what people do every time they pass on a story or tell a story with the same plot or characters. Do not think of folklore as an “original” that is altered and rebooted, but rather a living document that gets added to. Reimagining is not the inherent issue. HOW you reimagine something matters. 

So I suppose my question is...if someone were to do research upon the creature they want to use, given they are allowed to use it, and gained an understanding of what the creature or concept stood for, are they allowed to pick it apart and reimagine it? Alternatively, is it ok if it's explicitly pointed out that it is derivative of the original?

It has actually become my biggest fear that I may have internalized something that could both continue to do harm long after the fact and attract the wrong people to me work. I don't wanna let people down!

M: As Rina has noted several times, I think the problem is in trying to ID a set of specific variables and circumstances that make a thing “okay” or “not okay.” I want to recommend that you read my joking response about writing in secret rooms while wearing a disguise (Linked here). Who can you hurt if no one knows what you are doing? There’s a difference between creating for oneself and creating to share. 

You have internalized a message incorrectly, but not the one you cite. The goal of many recommendations against cultural appropriation is to avoid causing direct harm to people who have seen their cultures demeaned, discredited and devalued, especially in shared spaces. Assessing cultural engagement, whether we are talking about appropriation, appreciation or exchange is not a measure of personal virtue or a collection of commandment style do’s and don’t’s. Rather, I believe engaging with other cultures is the state of mind of acknowledging that when using these cultures’ in one’s own work, there is value in consulting members of that culture and giving credit where credit is due. This will be challenging if you are only comfortable engaging with all of these cultures in a distanced, minimal capacity. 

FWIW, I’ve written stories that probably will offend people from other cultures and backgrounds, but I don’t show them off. I don’t think writing these makes me a bad person, but I also don’t see the need to give unnecessary offense, so those stories are just for me, to be written and read in my own secret room. However, I’m not ashamed of having written them, and I’m also comfortable to “let people down” provided that my own shared work reflects my personal principles of what I consider to be sufficient research and engagement with other cultures,  As a creator, my work wouldn’t be mine if I didn’t first please myself. I think the trick to the creator role is deciding what to keep private, what to share and what constitutes sufficient engagement. 

P.S. 

We’ve referenced the need for research multiple times in this ask, and in some of the other asks that have gone up this week, so we thought this would be a good place to plug a beginner’s guide to academic research created by the mod team.. Look for it soon under WWC’s pinned posts!

[lixies-favorite-cookie]

Romanticism ◦ prologue

—the human condition: a soul filled with passion, but not a mouth to spill it into

Romanticism

(n.) a love lived in the confines of your own mind, caught in a constant state of daydream

You lived within the pages of a book, the notes of a song, the gentle breeze running through a tuft of fluttering flowers, romance—it weaved its way into your world in the most mysterious of ways, rose-colored glasses dipping your perspective red. Your life was a story, always searched for but never found—your dreams etched by paper characters and wooden words. 

Some could say you were a hopeless romantic—equal parts of each. Your standards were unrealistic. Your desires were far-fetched. Your passion was channeled into the tip of a pen, stuck underneath the sharp edges of reality; you existed in a constant state of dystopia; your mind always at war. You were a poet—your body flooded with feeling, but passion was a pleasure built for two, and right now your soul was overflowing without a heart willing to listen

So you channel your thoughts into stories instead.

Stories about a love that seemed so impossible once put into perspective—the type of intensity that was palpable, the type of dedication that was deadly, the type of romance that made the world go 'round—you wanted a type of love that was only formed in the comfortable planes of fiction—a fervor that grew gardens in your graves, flowers vining through your tangled bones. 

dig us up and see how our bodies intertwined

You scribbled the words in your journal, sentences seemed to be flighty when you were thinking fast, too deep in thought to compartmentalize.

Your journal knew more about the inner workings of your mind than any man ever will. It knew all your hopes, all your dreams, all your truths, all your lies. It was you in your rawest form; you didn't write; you bled—the scars of your soul etched into every letter. 

You close the leather-bound book, setting the pencil down. It was hard hiding the very thing that consumed you, but when you first shared this vulnerable piece of you with Chan, he was turned off by your ardor.

You promised yourself that after that day you would never show anybody else this part of you—building walls around oceans of emotion, a dam to an unstoppable flood. You stuff the book in the drawer beside your bed, locking your love away. 

You accepted the bitter truth a long time ago; that no matter how much you wished, you could dive into your daydreams. All fiction is is fantasy, and all fantasy is is-

fake

im going to be SO fr with yall right now idk what this is

SO i will probably be editing/adding more to it later but yeah :)

im impatient

also this is the most accurate depiction of my mind known to man honestly this blog is like the dream journal

see the rest of the series here

cookiecreates owns this please dont be a dick and steal my shit. thank you.

[miffy-junot]

Reviewing British Caricatures of Junot

1.

One would think that, if you were going to mock Junot for his physical appearance, it would be easy to mock the features he actually had that were considered ugly by the standards of the time (scars, moles, downturned eyes, big nose) - but nah, this caricature has invented a strange version of Junot who is snub-nosed, balding in his thirties, and still dressing in the style of the 1790s! (....this will unfortunately prove to be a common theme in caricatures of him.)

5/10 - inaccurate, made him look old and ugly, BUT I like the way they drew his body, he looks like a cute chibi :3

2.

Slightly more accurate in terms of appearance BUT!!!! HOW DARE THEY MANACLE HIM AND MAKE HIM A SPECTRAL FIGURE WARNING NAPOLEON, THAT'S NOT VERY NICE!!!!!!

2/10 - his face looks silly but I don't like the situation he's in, poor boy

3.

Back to the really weird-looking depictions - STOP THAT!!!! LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!!! He needs his exorbitant amounts of loot for, uh, *checks notes* ... leading his pretty princess lifestyle!!!

(however this caricature is wishful thinking - although the Brits did convince Junot to leave some stuff behind, he took most of his loot back to France)

1/10 - don't hold him like that!!! stop forcing him to vomit his yummy snacks!!! let him steal stuff to fund his pretty princess lifestyle!!!!

4.

The curse of inaccurate aging ugly Junot strikes again... and this time he has switched hair colours with his wife! (Junot had light brown/red hair, Laure had black hair; in this caricature it's reversed).

The moustache is atrocious, it must be removed by force. Remove the panicked expression from Junot's face, and it's a lovely domestic scene!

8/10 - despite the horrific uglification of Junot in this one, I think it's cute, I wonder if him and Laure ever did try on each other's clothes :3

5.

STOP BEING MEAN TO HIM!!!!!! And preferably stop giving him a hairstyle he hadn't worn since the early 1790s and a uniform he hadn't worn since 1800. I mean, come on, the hussar scoundrel archetype is right there and you don't use it?

But what's even worse is that THEY STOLE HIS BEAUTIFUL THIGHS!!!!!! Look how skinny he is!!!!!! WHERE DID HIS MEATY THIGHS GO???!!!!!

0/10 - horrific display of cruelty to Junots, he should be sitting on Wellington's lap and smooching him

6.

They made him ugly again :((((

But this one is actually quite cute! Look at him, he's smiling!!! He's proud of himself!!! He has his treasure!!!! He's got good posture!!! Awww my baby boy

7/10 - happy juju!!!

7.

Now aside from the distasteful uglification, I love this one. He looks like a supervillain. He's powerful, he's prosperous, he's living his best life, he's got twinks kneeling before him.... iconic. This is what real Junot was like. And just look at this thigh boots!!!!!!! sexy af ngl

10/10 - he's in his hot villain era okay

8 - an honourable mention

This is not a depiction of Junot, but it's somehow the best caricature about him!

The full caricature is making fun of the British government, and here is the politician Lord Yarmouth, complaining about "Fanny Anny" (his wife, Maria Emilia Fagniani) going over to "Juno" (how many British sources spelled Junot at the time). And it's true! The Yarmouths marriage was unhappy and so, after the birth of their last child in 1805, they separated and Maria moved to Paris where she spent the rest of her life. And guess who she had a relationship with while in Paris... the local manwhore General Junot ;)

This is my favourite Junot-related caricature because it taught me something new about him and is the only one that comes close to commenting on his personal life. 11/10

[crippleprophet]

Is it okay for people with agoraphobia to look and take some of the advice you have for housebound people on here? I'm not really great at picking up nuance so I'm worried that it'd be crossing some boundary or that it's not the intention of the tag

that’s completely okay, i appreciate your desire to be respectful even though i’m sorry you were concerned! i absolutely consider folks with agoraphobia my comrades + community members and i’d be super honored if anything i’ve shared is helpful (+ am always interested in hearing what that was if you’re comfortable!) the rest of this is not anything you need to answer your question, just thoughts i’ve been having on the subject

i haven’t had the opportunity to talk to enough homebound [due to chronic illness / “physical” reasons] people to know if this is a common experience but for me i’ve noticed that similar to chronic illness often carrying depression with it, since becoming homebound i’ve become terrified of leaving the house.

this is definitely influenced by the fact that it’s untenably painful, my photosensitivity (in the UV sense not the epilepsy sense), the ongoing pandemic, the fact that i only left the house to go to the doctor for over a year & i’m afraid of the doctors appointment itself due to medical trauma, etc etc but like. there’s also the very strong pull of habit – i’m an incredibly obsessive & ritualistic person – and what Goffman refers to as “the relief of self-isolation” for marginalized people sheltering from a hostile society, a phrase i read in undergrad 5 1/2 years ago that’s stuck with me ever since for how profoundly it resonates.

i’m not trying to say these are necessarily your or any other person with agoraphobia’s feelings & experiences, more to illustrate how the liberation of all homebound people & shut-ins & hermits is bound up together; any sanist strategy for oppressing agoraphobes can easily be leveraged against me, not least because as a severely underdiagnosed person, the medical establishment does not think there is any “legitimate” “physical” reason for me to be homebound. to respond to this oppression by arguing it’s inapplicable because i’m not crazy would be untrue + a cruel act of lateral violence.

i’ve been reading a lot of butch/femme history recently (i post about that on my main @campgender; followers age 18+ only please) & have found myself entirely reconfiguring my understanding of the queer art of isolation, the incredible ability of our ancestors to hunker down & survive under circumstances unimaginable to the average person. i absolutely don’t want to deny the deep pain – not only the aspects i experience but also the heightened isolation of people without or before internet access + the ways these circumstances / forms of oppression can foster abuse –

but my god, so many 50s butches didn’t leave their homes during daylight hours for years in order to not be hate crimed for their gender presentation, & that’s the folks who were making it to the bars. so many others – “discreet” couples who didn’t want to risk being outed by engaging in queer community; people assigned female who “passed” as men & their partners; butch sex workers & other people with identities perceived as contradictory or unacceptable – existed marginalized by both queer & normative communities.

every time i think substantially about homeboundedness i always get tracy chapman’s “subcity” stuck in my head. obviously my access to housing period is a huge position of privilege, & i’m in the most economically secure position of my adult life so far; the abjection i experience is nowhere near the scale of people in the position of the speaker of the song, who’s implied to be street homeless. but the line “people say it doesn’t exist ‘cause no one would like to admit that there is a city underground” is such a succinct & accurate depiction of living the kind of life society tries to convince itself is impossible. but there truly is a rich genealogy of homeboundedness especially in queer history.

again i hope some of my posts & such are helpful / resonant! wishing you all the best 💓💓

[20kmemesunderthesea]

AMC's Nautilus

Action, political intrigue, plot twists and a healthy amount of sea monster skirmishes:

These are just some of the many reason why even those unfamiliar with the works of Jules Verne will find "Nautilus" to be an engaging SciFi adventure series.

Here are my (spoiler-free) thoughts on the show.

Note: as I write this, "Nautilus" is airing only on SVT: This is How I Watched it Living Outside of Sweden

When I heard that there was going to be a TV series about Captain Nemo's backstory, I was mightily aprehensive. The main reason for this apprehension was the mere fact that Captain Nemo's past is so dark and tragic. Thankfully, the series begins after the horrific events of the 1857 rebellion and just as the Nautilus is launched. What happened to Nemo's family is shown in flashbacks which explain the events without being graphic.

When I began the show, I honestly had very low expectations. I didn't really expect to like it. To my delighted asonishment, it turned out to be one of the best film tributes to Jules Verne I've ever seen - no hyperbole.

Throughout the series, there are fight scenes, periodic depictions of people bleeding and a couple "blink-and-you'll-miss-it" innuendo jokes, so I wouldn't watch it with a small child, but I think it would be appropriate to watch with most young teenagers (13+).

I believe both well-read Jules Verne fans and those who've hardly heard the name "Captain Nemo" will enjoy the intriguing storyline, likable characters and aesthetic scenery. There are many other factors which made me fall in love with "Nautilus" as well:

The Man of the Seas

The character of Captain Nemo has always facinated me. I was blown away by how perfectly and accurately Captain Nemo was portrayed in this series. Shazad Latif, in my opinion, is an immaculate Captain Nemo and he really brought the character to life with all his complexities. Out of all the film portrayals of Captain Nemo I've seen, I'd have to say his has been by far my favorite.

Tributes to Indian History and Culture

I'm American an my husband is Indian. He and I were both very impressed with the way in which Indian culture and history were presented. I want to see more shows like this to teach our son about his heritage. 

Many of the action scenes reminded me of South Indian cinema. In one episode there is a scene where the Nautilus crew is playing cricket against some Englishmen, which may seem a little disconnected from the rest of the story, but Bollywood fans may recognize it as a delightful tribute to "Lagaan."

The Writers Were Well-Verse in Vernian Lore

Although the story wasn't 100% accurate to the book, the writers obviously had read Verne's books and knew the nuances of Nemo's story and background quite throughly.

There were certain details which made me excited, such as when Nemo has an enigmatic exchange with an Englishman in which they greet each other warmly and seem to be thanking each other for...something. Nemo ends the conversation by saying, "Give my regards to Phileas!"

In Verne's other classic, "Around the World in 80 Days," Princess Aouda is the widow of the Raj of Bundelkhand. Since Jules Verne often dropped little hints that his books existed in the same universe, I always wondered if Aouda and Nemo were distantly related, since Bundelkhand is Nemo's kingdom of origin.

A question is posed: in this conversation, was Nemo thanking the Foggs for saving someone he cared about? This is the first time I've ever seen anyone address the detail that Aouda and Nemo might be relatives.

Tributes to the artwork of Alphonse de Neuville and Édouard Riou

I noticed several shots which were obvious tributes to the first-edition illustrations of Jules Verne's classics, such as Captain Nemo standing on the submarine deck with his spyglass, and the map of Lincoln Island on a cave wall. Those details absolutely thrilled me! 

Everything I've Ever Wanted in a Verne-Inspired TV Series - Except for That Cliffhanger!

Everything about this show absolutely floored me. It was everything I could have hoped for in a Captain Nemo TV series...and then it ended.

Such a well-done series ending with fairly significant loose ends felt like a punch in the gut more forceful than the maelstrom itself. I've been trying not to let it overshadow the rest of the show. I wish with all my heart that there could be a season two!

If anyone's curiosity gets the better of them, I compiled a list HERE of questions I desperately want to know the answers to. I hope someone may be able to answer my questions one day!

I want NEED more!

While I'm still coping with my post-series let down, I find myself pining away for more shows like this; shows based off of classic adventure novels which honor the spirit of the origional author.

I want shows which are imaginative, exciting and engaging, but have snippets of real-life science, culture and history woven in. Incidentally, I daresay these are the same elements which make the stories of Jules Verne himself so timeless.

[thatsatricky1]

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐭 || ‘𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞’ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: Eight of the top ten most popular players in Korea are invited to be the first people to test out the newest device and gameplay by NEO a video game company known as of recent to be the best of the best. An opportunity of a life time handed to them to be able to trial and get a contract to promote it later on. The eight couldn’t resist as they gladly accepted the invitation. Not being able to predict what was to come. A trail test that wouldn’t just be focused on graphics and playablity, no this would test relationships, strength, resolve and many more unpredictable things.

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Nct Dream ot7 x Reader

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: Angst, Fantasy, Fluff, Gaming, Humour, Romance, Smut (in future chapters), Thriller.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 6,5k+

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Cursing, mentions of mild violence (y’all its like one playful punch)

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: This does not depict an accurate picture of Nct Dream and this is strictly fantasy/fiction for entertainment purposes.

“Welcome to Neo, I’m thankful for all of you to be able to come here with your busy schedules at such a late time of the day, even if this is usually the peak hour you work anyway.” A man, the Ceo of Neo clasped his hands together, a grin forming on his face as he addressed the eight figures seated around a retro meeting office room.

Taking a step forward at the head of the table it gave the eight stream and popular gaming players a good look at what he was wearing. Wearing a very fashionable style of clothes that fit with the Neo image, a young generation focused company.

“The reason for you being in the Neo building instead of sitting comfortably at home is because we want to run the first trial here in our very own headquarters. To ensure your safety and comfort while in game, just for the first time. If everything runs smoothly you’ll be able to continue the trials in your own personal spaces in whatever time schedule you all can agree on.” Taeyong explained the reason as to why it needed to be done in person toda before the devices and game could be used in their own apartments.

“I’ve heard from my people you’ve all asked your questions on things like contracted hours, sponsorship bonuses and the whole boring stuff. So why don’t we get to the interesting part, hm?” Taeyong finally unclamping his hands giving the young adults a smirk at their reactions while workers entered with a device.

“This.” Taeyong started speaking, holding his hand out as someone placed the tech wear headgear into his hand before he continued on “Is what you’ll all be wearing during the trials. Designed for comfort around the head and of course aesthetically pleasing to the eyes, I do hope no one minds that I’ve assigned each of you different coloured versions.”

The eight gamers leaning forward in their seats inspect the well made and foreign looking tech wear like headgear. A few showing excitement, others wariness and the rest a mix of both. Taeyong observed their reactions before he tapped his finger against the headgear absentmindedly.

“Well, to put it simply and go over it again just in case no one read the papers we sent out, which is understandable reading can be a drag. The headgear is safe and has been tested out already thoroughly, we already have a safety rating of five… out of five.”

“For the first time you get to wear it, someone will put it on for you. Then later on you’ll receive instructions on how to do it yourselves in future at home. I hope it is okay that you’ll all be using recliner chairs today instead of laying down, your bodies won’t be disturbed during your time in the game.”

“Now, enough talking. Who’s ready to play?” Taeyong finished his monologue with a tilted grin on his face as he raised an eyebrow towards his newly acquired team of well seasoned and popular gamers.

“Lead the way.” Mark was the one to speak for all eight of them giving the go ahead.

“Enthusiasm, I love it.” Taeyong replied spinning on his heels to leave the room expecting the eight to follow.

“This is some futuristic shit right here.” Donghyuck whispered where he stood with the group watching people set up and prepare the lounge they would be, while under during the game play.

“And we’re the first ones to get to experience it.” Jaemin moved to wrap his arms over both Jeno and Renjun’s shoulders as he pointed out their newest achievement.

“Let’s hope nothing weird happens and Donghyuck over here loses his last brain cell.” Renjun joked out, his friend opening his mouth to let out a retort but was cut off by the Ceo, Taeyong clapping his hands once leaving them clasped, an obvious habit at this point.

“So, everything is set up, please take a seat where your name card is, it has your gaming tag names on it. You’ll be geared up soon.” His words causing the young gamers to share glances.

Y/n being the first to move forward, spotting her gamer name tag easily, the others following as they found their respected spots.

Everyone sinking into the comfortable recliner seat awaiting. Y/n eyes shifting to watch the person beside her getting her tech wear headgear ready, before looking over the the recliner next to her to see Chenle lounging there looking bored out of his mind waiting, his feet swinging.

The corner of her lips tilting up in clear amusement before looking ahead of her to see Jisung, eyeing the way his hands gripped the recliner chairs armrests tightly most likely overthinking his position, the two catching eyes.

‘Relax, we are right here.’ She mouthed to him, nodding in Chenle’s direction to show they were only a few paces away in their chairs.

Jisung seemingly was able to understand what she mouthed as he relaxed slightly into the recliner, swallowing as his fingers smoothed out from their cramped position. Y/n giving him a small smile at him trying to calm down.

“Alright, try to move around too much while they put your headgear on, they’ll adjust it to be even more comfortable.” Taeyong’s voice diverted all eight of their attention.

Y/n doing her best not to flinch when the woman next to her got into her personal space, the techwear headgear in hand. Taking a deep inhale through her nose as the woman moved to place the headgear over her head. Her eye’s automatically fluttered shut at the sensation of something enclosing around her.

Though as the woman adjusted the headgear, it barely felt like she was wearing anything, only reminded she was by the slight weight difference then normal. Eye’s peeking open to watch the woman continue working only to flicker to the side subconsciously checking on her friends.

It had only taken two minutes for everyone’s headgear to be adjusted correctly before the people around then stood back. Taeyong leisurely strolling around watching, an amused smile etched on his face at the different reactions the eight had to the headgear, remembering it for later to write down for his notes.

“Alright, I’m assuming everyone is ready, the headgear has all been applied correctly. Now don’t get shocked, you’ll all hear a voice through your headsets that will count down from ten, a timer if you will, to let you know when you’ll be entered into the game.” Taeyong explained while moving around the room.

“How do we know if it worked?” Jaemin asked out from where he was reclined back comfortably, hand tapping against the armrest out of habit, used to moving his hands.

“Trust me you’ll know.” Taeyong hummed out shaking his head amused by the question as if it had been a funny joke.

“Doyoung please start the countdown.” Taeyong nodded towards someone further away in the lounge near what looked like a normal high quality Pc setup.

“Hello this is Neo, you will be transported into Project Impact after the ten second countdown is complete. Enjoy the journey, have fun and don’t forget Neo is always with you every step of the way.” A female voice rang through all eight headgears.

“Ten.”

“We just got warned but her voice nearly gave me a heart attack.” Renjun huffed out, gaining a laugh from Chenle.

“Nine.”

“Don’t worry Renjun, no need to die in real life, I bet you’ll be the first out in the game.” Chenle barked out, his high pitched laugh following.

“Seven.”

“Careful Lele, Renjun might just throw in pettiness if you keep that up.” Donghyuck joined in on teasing Renjun.

“Six.”

“No one is throwing.” Mark sternly warned out to everyone, wincing at the thought of how that would look in Taeyong’s eyes after giving them such a good contract.

“Who did the voiceover? She sounds familiar.” Jaemin asked out to no one in particular.

“Five.”

“Of course the first thing you say about the game we haven’t entered yet is about a woman.” Jeno quipped from beside Jaemin.

“Four.”

“Woman supremacy.” Jaemin replied with a large grin shrugging even if Jeno wasn’t looking at him, his speech slightly slurring being hit by a wave of tiredness.

“Four.”

“For once you said something right Nana.” Y/n spoke out from her side of the room, not bothering to look over at him as she felt so comfortable all of a sudden as if her body was sinking into the recliner.

“Three.”

“My eyes feel heavy.” Jisung barely managed to slur out, eyes falling shut only for him to try snapping them back open multiple times not being able to fight the sleepiness looming around him.

“Two.”

“Hmm mmm.” Renjun hummed out wanting to say something but his lips wouldn’t move in favour of staying closed as his eyes followed suit closing on themselves.

“One.”

“One.” Taeyong whispered to himself repeating the animated woman’s voice with her gazing intensely at the young adults who were all still.

“This will be fun.” Taeyong’s grin returned, turning to stroll his way over to where Doyoung sat, eyeing the screens, rubbing his hands in anticipation.

“Welcome home Player 1, Mork.”

“Welcome home Player 2, Injeolmi.”

“Welcome home Player 3, SamoyedJ.”

“Welcome home Player 4, Fullsun.”

“Welcome home Player 5, Nana.”

“Welcome home Player 6, Dolphinlele.”

“Welcome home Player 7, Jwijwi.”

“Welcome home Player 8, T/n.”

Each individual player hearing their own greetings and not each other as they all laid spawned into random locations of the room, some in sitting positions while others had been laying.

Mark’s eyes snapping open as he took in his surroundings, alarm bells blaring once he did not feel or have impaired vision from the headgear, hands fling up to feel nothing covering his face.

Freezing at the realisation he could feel and touch himself as if it was real, taking in a deep breath. Body flying up from the couch he’d been sitting on, swearing he had felt the leather against his hands as he pushed off the seat with his hands.

“Holy shit it’s like we are really here, like this is just normal life.” Donghyuck’s voice grabbed Mark's attention as he looked over to see his friend getting up from where he’d been laying on the wooden floor.

“It’s so realistic that it’s creepy.” Renjun muttered a shiver running down his back at how one second he felt as though he was going into a deep state of sleep but the next he was wide awake in a whole new setting.

“It’s like a dream, but I can feel everything.” Jisung gasped out in wonder from where he sat on the wooden floor next to Donghyuck, moving to touch the leg of the table next to him curiously.

“It looks like I’m seeing you all exactly like beforehand, no shitty graphics.” Chenle commented on the next hyper realistic part of this all. It was unlike any video game not animated aspects, like they’d been transported into a film instead.

“You mean I still have to see all your faces in high definition, what a shame I thought my eyes could take a break.” Y/n joked out to keep herself from freaking out at how realistic everything seemed.

“I’m going to pretend you meant that as a compliment and not a dis.” Jaemin muttered moving to stretch his body, groaning as his back popped satisfyingly another weird realistic feature.

“Welcome Players, this is your home base. Once you entered Project Impact this house was chosen based on your internet personas and has been automatically set as your respawning point.” The female’s voice floated in the air as if right in front of them yet was actually being transmitted through their headgear back in reality.

“Each player has a private room that has been modeled exactly like your own bedrooms from what we already know about you, courtesy of our lovely Ceo of Neo as a sort of gift, not all players will receive such a gift, the rest of the house is based on your aesthetic taste preferences combined.” The voice continued.

“Well that’s not entirely concerning or creepy.” Renjun muttered.

“Over time you will be able to renovate and change things in your homebase. This goes for your own appearance too. Your overall body types and facial features will stay true to your real selves but customisable areas include things such as eye colour, hair colour and hairstyle, accessories and wardrobe clothing items.”

“Once again Ceo of Neo has gifted you with some of your most known wardrobe clothing and accessories items you wear on stream and in daily life through social media already, with a couple of extra clothing items added in for some flair.”

“As per what has been already discussed, you will be going into the game blind, not knowing what exactly the game play is focused on or rather how many possibilities are in store for you all here at Project Impact. With that I will leave you with a good luck, have fun exploring and if you need help don’t be shy and request it.”

With that the eight were left in silence before a sudden song floated through a speaker nearby, a pop song that had been recently charting at a nice low volume.

“Fuck me, this is going to be so much fun.” Donghyuck cheered flopping onto the beige couch nearby, accidentally tugging Mark to fall onto the couch with him, Mark grunting having felt the impact.

“You’ve got blue hair again Jisung!” Chenle cackled, pointing at the confused friend who rushed over to a mirror, his own eyes widening at the fact he did indeed have his old hairstyle back.

Jisung had dyed his whole head of hair blue after passing a sub count on his stream a few months prior, having gained the nickname blueberry from it. He remembered the way he’d gotten his hair bleached at a hair salon but streamed at home with Chenle and Y/n as they helped lather his hair in the rich blue colour. He’d only recently dyed it back to brown.

“Guess Taeyong liked your blue hair better on you, Blueberry.” Y/n chimed in on the teasing as he groaned at the nickname popping up.

“I think we were loaded in with in-game clothing items.” Jeno observed looking down at his outfit in interest. Wearing a striped knitted sweater underneath a block blue coloured long sleeve, with fashionable blue flared jeans with added random rips and converse shoes. His own personal necklace he wore often, one he’d worn today was still hanging from his neck with an added ring on his finger.

“You think? I don’t wear leather jackets.” Renjun snarked out towards Jeno shifting his shoulders back at the leather feeling against him. Renjun had a layered white, purple shirt with black mesh over it and a leather Neo logo’d leather jacket paired with black denim shorts, white calf height socks and black white sneakers. Not yet noticing the added necklaces and ring lip piercing on him.

“We can figure out how to change our hair and clothing later, we should look around first.” Mark suggested getting a round of agreement from the rest as they dispersed around their so-called homebase.

Y/n made her way down another hallway, feet stopping at a door that caught her attention, the door and doorframe itself familiar. It looked exactly like her own in her apartment. Raising an eyebrow at it, wondering just how extensively had Taeyong put research into their lives. He must have been confident in them agreeing to the contract as it had been only a month since they’d signed the deal which wouldn’t have been long enough to go into this type of meticulous work.

Shaking away the thoughts she grabbed the door handle pulling down on it before pushing the door inwards revealing her room. Her jaw nearly dropped at the sight in front of her own eyes. It was scarily accurate to her own room, she’d vlogged her room before so she shouldn’t be too surprised but it was still something her head had trouble processing.

A few items were not there, which was understandable as not everything could be placed in the game in precise accuracy but it was still very much what her room looked like. Entering the room properly now as she moved around the room until she saw her closet.

Rushing over and pushing the door open to be met with familiar and new clothing items.

“Wardrobe Unlocked.” The female voice floated through her head as she moved to touch different clothing items.

“This is way too realistic.” She muttered to herself as her fingers grazed over one of her favourite hoodies, a comfort hoodie she’d be sure to wear sometime soon in game, but took a step back, closing the closet, deciding she’d start off with her normal in-game clothing first.

Taking the time now to look at her own in-game clothing. A white crop top with black washed out ripped denim jeans, paired with white black shoes a cross on each one. A necklace paired with two rings and a grey satchel bag as accessories.

“Usertag Fullsun is requesting entry.” The female voice spoke once again causing Y/n to look over at her room door blanking when she saw it was closed again, she hadn’t closed it when she entered but she assumed it must have automatically closed.

“Um, request granted?” Y/n says unsurely into the open air, seemingly the command has worked as her door swings open with Donghyuck’s force.

“Y/N! My room- whoa.” Donghyuck cutting off his own sentence looking around in amazement at how they’d gotten her room right, or at least very accurately.

“Stop gawking, we should meet up with the others, they're probably waiting by now.” Y/n answered in return, moving to grab his arm, feeling the material of his loose almost see through knitted sweater as she dragged him towards the exit of her room.

“Look! It’s the plushie I got you when you hit a ‘mil on YouTube!” Donghyuck nearly squealed out pointing towards the plushie on her bed as he’s dragged out.

The two entered the hallway, door closing by itself. Both shared a glance at this but their attention was stolen away from where Chenle was knocking furiously against a door with the name tag Jwijwi.

“For once Chenle can’t storm into our rooms.” Y/n pointed out amused by the sight of the impatient brunette.

“I’m going to pretend to be amused with you like I wasn’t knocking exactly like that on your door a minute ago.” Donghyuck grinned wiggling his eyebrows animatedly causing Y/n to purse her lips realising he was the same as Chenle in that regard.

“Lele, come on, we're going to the living room. Sungie you too.” Y/n called out causing Chenle to look over just as Jisung’s door opened and he walked out, having heard her request.

“I hate the fact I need permission to enter your rooms.” Chenle grumbled out as the four grouped up to walk back.

“We’ll see if we can change that later in controls or something, let’s just map everything out first.” Y/n reassured her impatient friend as they made it back to the living room.

Mark and Renjun were both at the table looking over what seemed to be a map. Jeno and Jaemin enter the living room from a different entrance.

“What’s that?” Jeno asked out curiously as all five moved over to surround the table as well.

“It’s a map of the surrounding neighbourhood, looks like we’ve been placed in a more Eastern setting.

Everyone peered down at the map noting slight Easter eggs here and there of street names and store names. Some from Neo’s old games all the way to personal popular moments on social media from their own lives.

“They named a street after Chenle’s dog, why?” Renjun blanked at the sight causing Chenle to nudge his shoulder thinking it was a great idea, loving it.

“Daegal street sounds fantastic thank you very much, it’s probably the best street in the area.” Chenle defended his dog’s honor.

“Should we take a look outside?” Mark offered out to the rest of the group, silence enveloping them besides the music playing in the background before Jaemin, Donghyuck and Chenle bounded towards the front entrance of the home.

“I think that means yes.” Jisung sighed out as the rest followed.

The three were waiting for them at the front entrance, not having left yet. For two main purposes. One being they wanted to experience this as a group all together but the other reason was the unspoken leadership role Mark had taken in their friend group whenever it came to gaming.

Whenever the group had streamed together on games and such, Mark was always allocated the leadership role in the group without question or even a vote. It was a natural thing that had happened between the friend group. In and out of view of their online fan bases.

Mark moved to the front as his hand moved to touch the cool metal handle on the door, taking a quick breath in before opening it to reveal the outside world. A whole new area for them to explore.

“Welcome to Dream town.” The female’s voice greeted the players to the spawned town.

“Well that’s not very original.” Jeno pointed out as they took cautious steps out. The group had developed the group name Dreamies from the respected fan bases after they’d noticed the gamers had developed friendships and streamed/gamed often together. A whole new fan based solely for each one of them as a whole.

“Be happy it’s not Chenle’s dog’s name.” Renjun quipped back as they walked down the steps of the house.

“Oh we have cars.” Jeno couldn’t help but grin, adding on desperately “Please tell me we can drive them to.” Leaving the group towards a car parked outside their home assuming it was theirs, confirming it when the license plate had JN230400. That screamed his initials and birthdate.

Of course the one who was known for talking about his car would have his car parked out front, unbeknownst to the other’s their cars were in the garage, something they’d find out later on.

“I can literally feel the breeze against my face.” Jisung spoke out eyes closing as he felt the sun soaking into his skin and the nice faint cool breeze brushing against his face. It was unreal how much they could experience.

“That’s probably just Taeyong blowing in your face back at the company.” Chenle teased out ruffling his friends hair, starting a playful fight as they started roughhousing from Chenle ruining Jisung’s brief peace.

“As fun as this is, something tells me the game makers are just letting us explore uninterrupted before getting properly into the game.” Mark commented, arms crossed watching the rough housing going on.

“So what you're saying is enjoy our time exploring, hm?” Jaemin cheekily added on moving to wrap an arm around Mark’s shoulder.

“I wonder if we’ll be able to see our stats soon.” Renjun thought out loud causing Y/n to look over at him thinking it over.

“Please show me my stats Neo.” Y/n tested out loud blinking when she saw vividly in her own head a sort of screen like image.

“Here are your current stats, this will be updated regularly according to your actions.” The female voice spoke out to only her.

The boys watched her, it looked like she was dazed focusing on something.

Her states were interesting to say the least. She had a health bar, hunger bar, hygiene bar, energy bar, predetermined stats like physical stats= strength, dexterity and constitution, mental stats= Intelligence, wisdom and charisma. An area for abilities also listed. Her abilities she’d already had were basic human skill sets with a note ending on how abilities would increase or be added depending on activities done.

Before she could see more she shook the thought away, turning to look at the other three.

“Okay that worked, really weird vibe from that but I could see my thoughts like an image in my head.” Y/n explained before giving a simple run down of what it looked like.

“Interesting, looks like they have thought about a lot, although they did already say the game was technically finished I’m sure we’ll find a few bugs and glitches around.” Renjun claimed about Neo.

“Every game has a bug, no matter what.” Jaemin agreed, grinning as he added on “And with our luck we’ll walk right into it.”

“With our luck something is bound to happen.” Y/n groaned out not knowing just how ironic her words would be.

“Someone go find their car! I want us to take a drive around the place! Driving will be faster!” Jeno shouted out from where he was sitting on top of the hood of his new car, already excited to see if he could customise and upgrade his own car throughout the time they were going to play the game.

“Jesus I only trust him in real life with cars, did anyone remember the time we played a car simulator with him?” Jaemin shivered at the reminder of Jeno’s chaotic driving that game night, an off-stream thing. The group tried to have two personal game nights a month to themselves without people watching and breathing down their necks.

“Well, this place is pretty realistic so I’m assuming it will be safer than that… hopefully.” Mark replied nose scrunching at the thought of Jeno’s reckless driving if it wasn’t the case.

“We should get Y/n to drive- Alright I guess that was already decided by her.” Renjun suggested only to look to his right to see Y/n had already disappeared from their little group off to go find a car, hopefully her own.

Y/n walked around for five minutes before finding the garage, grunting as she ended up going back into the house to find it. Walking through the door, eyebrows raised seeing that the garage looked way bigger on the inside. Whistling to herself as she noticed all the different cars. Stopping in front of a tarp, grabbing the ends and pulling it off.

“Personal car unlocked.” The voice spoke out, causing her to make a mental note to ask the omnipresent voice if it had a name.

“Holy shit.” She muttered to herself gazing at the car.

It was a Subaru WRX, in blue. She shook her head with an amused grin realising she’d shown the car on stream before saying this would be the car she chose to buy if she ever got the chance one day.

Moving to the side of the car she wondered if she needed a key only for the female voice to speak again, reminding her to check her inventory, causing her to furrowed her eyebrows in confusion but just thinking about her inventory seemed to do the trick as an inventory flashed through her head, keys being one of the things in it.

Taking a wild guess she focused on the keys, nearly jumping when keys appeared in the palm of her hand, holding it up in front of her face, analysing it before unlocking the door and sliding in.

Her hands smoothing over the leather steering wheel before letting out a laugh of pure excitement. Clicking the engine on, feet automatically going to the clutch and slowly letting the clutch pressure release after taking the car out of park and into drive.

“New ability/skill set unlocked”

It was exactly like driving in real life, her car slowly moving forwards as her car grumbled to life moving forward, Y/n making sure not to damage any of the parked cars as she made her way towards the garage door that automatically opened.

Driving slowly down the drive while pulling down all her windows, a light breeze entering the car. Looking out the car driver side window she peered towards the boys, hearing Jeno hollered out in excitement to see her driving her dream car.

“Get in losers we’re going exploring.” Y/n raised her voice for everyone to hear. Using a Mean girls reference with a slight twist on it.

“On Wednesdays we apparently drive blue cars.” Renjun commented in return having been the first to get to her car, opening the passenger seat to get in. Clicking his seatbelt on after moving over the middle of the console to put her seatbelt on for her as she’d forgotten to out of excitement, not scolding her knowing this.

“I’m starting to like this game.” Y/n hummed back as Chenle and Jisung got in the back, her foot on the clutch as she changed gears back to neutral as she waited for Mark, Donghyuck and Jaemin to get into Jeno’s car, who tapped his steering wheel impatiently.

“You’re going to let him drive off first?” Jisung asked as he put on his seatbelt, safety in mind, asking about Jeno to her.

“Yeah, less of a risk of him driving into my car that way.”

“In-game car, Y/n. You’ll be missing it the moment we’re out of the game.” Chenle pointed out moving to lean in between the gap to face her.

Renjun’s hand shooting out to push against Chenle’s head towards the back seats.

“Shut up and buckle up, it’s in game but who knows how much damage we receive and what it’ll feel like.” Renjun scolded the younger friend. Who grumbled in return but did put his seatbelt on.

The sudden topic was something they really did need to think about. If everything in the game felt so realistic would getting hurt be like that as well? Y/n didn’t think so as the Ceo of Neo, Taeyong did claim the safety rating was five out of five so they must only get told their health stat would go down or take damage. Instead of thinking further on it Y/n focused on playing the game.

Jeno started driving causing Y/n to change into first gear while slowly releasing her clutch after her foot left the brake pedal, manovoring out of the drive. Even with them being the only ones on the road she still looked and indicated, on muscle memory.

“Where are we heading?” Jisung asked out as he peered out of the open backseat window.

“Wherever Jeno wants I guess.” Y/n replied as her hand moved to change into second gear after hitting 30 km/h.

“Mark is in the passenger seat, he has the map with him, he put it in his back pocket before we went outside.” Renjun also revealed.

“Looks like driving is realistic enough, Jeno hasn’t crashed yet.” Y/n pointed out changing into third gear after observing the fact Jeno was speeding up, Mark must have found a spot they wanted to go on map in town and was giving him directions by the confident style he showed from speeding up.

“Just think about all these houses, they will be home bases for other players one day.” Jisung pointed out as he observed the differently styled houses in the area.

“In a couple of months if everything goes well.” Renjun hummed out.

Y/n changing back into second gear as they rounded a corner and back up to third gear once they continued along. Renjun moved to turn on the radio of the car for some ambience. He was one of the four people of the group that was in charge of the music playlist usually during hang outs so it was natural for him to do so.

The group drove for five minutes before Jeno started slowing down. Y/n following his pace gazing around for tell tale signs of what exactly they were arriving too.

“Looks like the store area of the town.” Renjun pointed out as everyone took in the new area of the town.

“Can we loot in this game?” Chenle made an offhand comment as Jisung gave him a warning look.

“Your sticky fingers always cause trouble.” Jisung grumbled out in distaste.

“Hands in pockets Chenle when we arrive.” Y/n joked out as if Chenle was a kid, having remembered how her own mum used to make her do so as a child not to touch or break anything in stores.

“My number one haters right here.” Chenle huffed out pouting with crossed arms.

Jeno started indicating towards a car park area, causing Y/n to do the same. Shift down to first gear as she turned into the car park, driving further in compared to Jeno before putting the car in reverse, easily parking as only a few cars were parked in the area.

Putting the car in park, she turned off the engine, causing Chenle to pop his seatbelt off straight away, opening his door to race off towards where Jeno was still parking. Y/n grumbling about Chenle not even closing the door. All three inside unbuckled before getting out themselves, Jisung rounding the corner to close the door Chenle hadn’t.

“Let’s see what they picked for us to look at.” Renjun offered as he waited with Jisung as Y/n locked her car.

“Probably had a few stores in mind, but came to the main store street so we could get the general layout for what we’ll need going further into the game.” Y/n replied while the trio walked through the car park towards the other’s hopping out of Jeno’s car.

“Jeno has an automatic car Y/n!” Donghyuck shouted out towards the trio that approached, already cackling while holding his stomach after seeing Y/n reaction, her nose scrunching in dismay at Jeno’s car.

“Disappointed but not surprised Jeno.” Y/n addressed him as she finally got over right as Jeno punched Donghyuck in the arm in retaliation.

“I didn’t choose that!” Jeno claimed loudly as Donghyuck yelped looking disturbed, eyes unfocused.

“You ass! My health was depleted by 2 % just then!” He zoned back in, shaking off the image in his head as the female voice told him his health status.

“Well how was I supposed to know that would deplete your health, I didn’t even try hitting you hard!” Jeno argued back, Renjun shoving his face away from Donghyucks with his hand to stand in front of the said ‘injured’ friend.

“What did it feel like?” Renjun asked, curious on how much they’d be able to feel pain in the gameplay.

“What? Not even an are you okay Channie?” Donghyuck whined out offended but grumbled out the answer “It didn’t feel like what it usually feels like getting punched by Jeno, felt weird like a fuzzy feeling. How do I even describe it? Like my body didn’t like it but it also didn’t hurt.”

“So we feel something but not exactly pain, when getting hurt to indicate we have taken damage.” Renjun voiced out how they’d know about taking damage without constantly checking their health stat.

“Coolio, can we go check out the shops now?” Chenle interrupted, getting impatient to look around.”

“Outside message ‘Out of three hours you have two hours left to continue exploring.’ Delivered.” The female's voice floated through their heads at the same time.

“Hey do you have a name, automated voice person?” Jaemin asked out loud, blinking as the group watched before he gave them a sheepish smile.

“They called her Jayu.” Jaemin explained while he shrugged his shoulders, showing off that the question did help them.

“Has it really been an hour already?” Jisung asked out, shocked at just how fast time passed already.

“Yes, now let’s go before we waste anymore time!” Chenle loudly shut down Jisung’s attempt at conversation, tugging his friend into a walk.

“If we break off please go in at least pairs!” Mark called out worriedly before adding on “We’re regrouping back at the carpark in one hour!”

Donghyuck placed his hands on Mark’s shoulders to push him towards the car park exit having picked him, already talking his friends' ears off.

Renjun seeing who was left, quickly grabbing Y/n’s wrist not wanting to deal with the other 00 liners nearby.

“Hey you already got to be a passenger princess in her car.” Jaemin argued, tugging Renjun’s hand away from her wrist.

“Exactly, plus the people who drove here should stick together.” Jeno sneakily replied moving to rest his arm on Y/n’s shoulder who gave him a look at the bodily made up excuse.

“Shut up Jeno, that was an ass excuse.” Renjun scoffed out before pointing at Y/n.

“Pick someone before those two start brawling.” He suggested letting his hand drop.

Y/n humming as she thought it over. She would have the most peace with Renjun, but didn’t like the idea of leaving Jaemin and Jeno together and alone in any type of store; that was bound to be a disaster.

“For the sake of us not breaking anything in the stores I’m gonna have to pick one of them, Jaemin come on.” She decided, causing Jaemin to pump his fist in the area before running to catch up with Y/n who’d already started to leave.

Jaemin turned to look back at Renjun and Jeno giving them a smug look before talking with Y/n waving his arms around as he does.

“She’s right about you guys being a chaotic duo when left alone.” Renjun quipped at Jeno before moving away, Jeno tempted to shove Renjun’s shoulder at his words but wanted not to get hurt in return so he left it be trailing after him.

Outside the gameplay back in the Neo company building Taeyong sat at the desk with Doyoung. Takeout on the table.

“This is going well, put some money into their credit as a gift while they roam the stores.” Taeyong commented, his eyes glued to one of the many screens showing each pair of duo’s walking around.

“Careful, they might get used to your generosity.” Doyoung warned but completed the task given to him anyway.

“It’s their first day Doyoung, let them have fun.” Taeyong grinned at his friend, who’d been beside him since he’d started the company.

“It seems like you’re having more fun watching them then they are playing the game.” Doyoung teased out with a scoff, hands typing away.

“It’s refreshing seeing the game running after working on it for years.” Taeyong hummed out eyes training on a specific pair of the group. The pink haired and brunette haired duo finally made it to one of the stores.

“Careful Taeyong, your favouritism is showing.” Doyoung noticed where Taeyong’s eyes had been staring at the most throughout the last hour.

“Can’t help it I guess.” Taeyong’s reply was cheeky, as he gave his friend a wink.

“It’s going to be fun watching them when the real fun kicks in.”

Prologue | Chapter one | Chapter two

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @rotinyzen @wonyoungmywife @snflwrhaerecs4u @thegreenlynx @serinebsblog @hanniehq @delululi @bubusebu @bunnychui @molensworld @morkiee @marvelahsobx @kaciebello @kgneptun

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[alexiswritingstuff]

Not just a man.

Pairing: Hiromi Higuruma x gn! reader

Warnings: none?

Summary: during one of the initial meetings in the culling game, Y/n decides to spark up a conversation with the mysterious man in the black suit.

Other mentions: like one thing about Itadori.

A/n: okay, I'm honestly not too confident about this one but if I leave it any longer it is just going to rot in my drafts, so here is my first fic with Higuruma! This is spoiler free, and even though it is based on the culling games, there might be points in this fic that don't accurately depict the situation in the manga. I have read it multiple times but my brain is something else, man. Also, be aware that there could be mischaracterisation, or general moments that would seem OOC for Higuruma. As much as I love him, this is my first fic with him so it will probably take time to nail down his characters, especially because the only thing that I can base it off is content from the manga. Either way, and despite the possible downsides, I hope you enjoy reading!

Finding a definition to encapsulate the past few days since the event had started was... difficult to say the least. While that may be because there wasn't a singular word to describe it, the options were unlimited.

Before anything had the chance to process, it was right onto the next thing. Another problem. Another fight, both physically and verbally.

It was the sort of cycle that may have already been usual in your kind of world, as there was no point in resting when curses were about, yet somehow it almost felt faster. Instead of potentially running into some form of beast, it was now an expectation instead.

Initially, you would think that was the most unnerving part, wouldn’t you?

Though, as you sat in a vast room with more people you had known in your life, it seemed that thought was more wrong than you could have known.

At some point during the game, a bunch of sorcerers were rounded up. You, somehow, just ended up being wound into it at some point. I mean, you may barely grasp the meaning of the culling game, but there were enough clues to fill it in.

There were only a few reasons why people like yourselves would gather in this way.

Something big was going down.

The room itself had become quieter over time. Most of the people within had left one after the other. Either having personal things to attend to, further discussions, or just trying to grab a breath of fresh air before even more stress.

You, however, had made yourself comfortable in one of the randomly placed seats. Or at least tried to.

In all honesty, your body was almost rigid. A lack of a want to move as the urge to fidget continuously antagonised each limb. It made it more tricky to maintain that hard exterior everyone else seemed to be able to keep up with ease. 

The whole sorcery thing wasn't exactly new to you. Your ability wasn't something you discovered young, like many others. It had given you enough time to learn about it. Grow it. Though being surrounded by other people who also had some form of ability was new.

Yeah, considering the fact that you had previously only met about a handful, it was most definitely new.

But you had to admit that it was very interesting to see the different kinds of sorcerers there were.

No matter how apparent, there was an active difference in mindsets, attitudes, personalities, and the general looks of these people. Most of what they could do even contrasted with it.

They had their own stories, their own abilities, and their own worlds. It was like the more you looked around, there was an increased possibility in becoming intrigued by something different.

And eventually, it landed on one thing in particular.

One person.

To your left was this man. He was sitting in his respective chair almost as if he were one with it, his hand simply resting against a table that separated the two of you, while his eyes gazed forward without a specific focus.

There wasn't exactly anything obscure about him. There was nothing on the surface that made him stick out from the rest; in fact, he was probably the most generic-looking person here.

He was just a man in a mere black suit and matching tie, though there was something that made it increasingly difficult for your eyes to stray.

And apparently keeping your mouth shut too.

“It's Higuruma, isn't it?”

It seemed to take a few seconds for the sound to register in his ears. Or, more so, the fact that it was directed at him if the words weren't enough. So a moment passed, he blinked, and eventually his head began to turn in your direction.

It was a lazy movement, one that soon revealed his other hand to be resting against his chin while the hook of a finger pressed into the space beneath his bottom lip. If he had glasses on, his eyes would be peering right over them, startled yet tired enough that they could barely be seen.

The man before you hummed, a deep sound that grumbled within his throat until his lips had finally decided to part. “I don't believe we've met before.”

His voice was pretty much what you were expecting it to be: lacking interest, flat, and a tad accusatory.

It was paired with this furrowed eyebrow, which created a light look of confusion, either simply because of the sudden conversation or the fact that it was with someone he hadn't paid much attention to beforehand.

To others, it may have made them uneasy. Filled them with a regret just for opening their mouth in the first place. But not for you. In fact, it had you finally settling into your seat.

“No, actually, I overheard that, uh, Itadori kid talking about your previous... interaction,” you explained, trying to use a new tone in hopes of loosening him up and making it clear that you were just wanting to talk. However, there was barely even a reaction.

A muscle in his face had slightly twitched in response to the phrasing, but otherwise he was still. He just stared back at you with those blank eyes.

He looked to be thinking, which helped relieve some of the tension, though in reality, it didn’t seem like he was one for conversing. At least not right now, anyway, and it should’ve made you turn away. It should’ve shut your mouth and made you go find somewhere else to bother. I mean, you had learned quite a few names by now. 

But the more you looked back at the so-called Higuruma, the more questions began to pile high up inside your brain. And it was only a matter of time before one would decide it was right to spill through your lips.

“Okay, look, I'm sorry, but I really need to.” You huffed out a breath, letting your feet fully plant against the ground as your torso twisted towards the man for proper delivery. “Can I ask you a question?”

There was a speck of hesitance that appeared within his gaze once it focused back on you, but nevertheless, “Go ahead." He relented, his tone enough of a warning that this was either going to continue or finish this conversation all together.

“Did you really take a bath with your clothes on?”

When the question settled for a moment, Higuruma leaned back a little, allowing a full view of you into his vision before he challenged, “Is it that unbelievable?”

“Well... I can't say that I've thought of doing it myself.”

“Exactly,” he stated without missing a beat, and it stilled your body. Your lips stayed apart for a moment, attempting to find the right words while he continued to stare into your soul. “So you just woke up one day and decided to bathe fully clothed?”

You blinked at him. He blinked right back. “Pretty much.”

Within the next few seconds, you found yourself sort of mirroring the way he sat. Like all the care you had on keeping up some form of appearance just went right out of the window.

And though a string of words failed to encompass your reaction to his experiment, it seemed that whatever expression was on your face was enough to entice a further explanation.

“Not to disappoint,” Higuruma had begun through a slight strain, somehow sinking even further into the chair until the back of his head was planted against the top rail. “But truthfully, I was only trying to do something I normally wouldn't.”

“That's all.”

Never in your life have you been more curious about a singular man. He hadn't done anything crazy; I mean, at some point, you must have had that same thought. So what the hell was it? Why was there an urge to keep this conversation going?

“And… how did that feel?” 

At this point, Higuruma's eyes had fallen closed, getting tired of staring up at the same boring ceiling, and basked in the growing silence from the fewer sorcerers. “Damp... though I must say it was better than I thought it would be.”

The only response you could think of was this barely audible hum. It was the easiest conclusion, seeing as it would acknowledge the comment while buying you time to figure out what exactly to say next. But it was rather challenging.

This whole scenario was just strange to you—something you probably couldn't even dream up if you tried. Yet here you were in the real world, having the most entertaining conversation with a man who you most likely wouldn't get the chance to if it weren't for the fact that both of you were sorcerers.

“You know, I didn't think I was going to get along with a lawyer.” you spoke up after a moment of silence, and Higuruma sucked air into his nose. His head lolled to the side, a movement fulfilled with somehow less energy than before. “That obvious?” he questioned, which in turn had you raising your eyebrows.

“What—that you're a lawyer?” you attempted to clarify, properly meeting his heavy gaze just in time to see his short nod. “You're the only one in here dressed in a full fancy suit; it was either that or you were a member of the men in black.”

It wasn’t entirely visible, but you swore the next time you blinked that the corner of his mouth that you could see sort of quirked upward. It wasn't a full smile; it had barely even created that little crevice, though it got accentuated by a huff that slightly shook his body. 

And then it faded: “Are you going to ask about my abilities too, then?”

“No, no, I got the jist,” you waved off initially, noting the way the question drained all the expressiveness from his face. “Honestly, I was more interested in the bath thing anyway, but now that you mention it, it must've taken you a while to master a thing like that.”

Higuruma hummed again, his gaze becoming unfocused once again as he started to search through his recollections. “I believe... It's been about twelve days.”

If it weren't for the statement itself, the nonchalant delivery would have also caused your eyes to widen in the way that they did. “What?” Your body turned as much as it could until your knee knocked into the crooked coffee table. The man before you remained unfazed.

“Twelve days—forget being a sorcerer; you're a damn magician, Higuruma!” you insisted, trying so hard to keep your voice at a minimum level while he lazily began to push himself to sit up straight. “Is it really that impressive?”

Your eyebrows were completely furrowed this time, your gaze narrowing on the man in disbelief. “There are some people who get their abilities at birth, and they can still not have them under control no matter what age they reach.”

“But that would also depend on the effort they put into doing so in the first place, if any,” Higuruma countered without missing a beat, though the conviction layering his voice faltered when he continued, “I… just got that chance of getting something that wasn't much different from my usual job.”

“Still, you managed to understand it—in what, a little more than a week? And it’s already at the point that you can just fully use it?” you reminded him almost at the same speed that he had, “I mean, even for a lawyer, that's got to be at least notable.”

The rest of his face may have been void of any emotions, but those eyebrows weren’t fooling anyone. His mind was moving. What wasn’t apparent, however, was in which direction it was doing so.

Higuruma may have been new to the world of sorcery, but this wasn’t something he thought was part of it.

Your genuineness, your curiosity, that look on your face—that was anything but the disgust he had seen in his own eyes. For once, he was face-to-face with something he couldn't solve right off the bat.

“How long did it take you?” He finally spoke up after a moment, and it seemed that both of you were equally unsure if the change of subject was due to it being uncomfortable or if he was now the one to be genuinely curious.

Now it was your turn to lean back a little. “Truthfully,” you started, averting your gaze for pretty much the first time since this entire interaction had begun. “I don't think mine is story-worthy, to be honest.”

Higurumas brow twitched upward. “How come?”

“Well,” You took in a breath, “not everyone has eventful lives. It’s as simple as that, really. In a world with a multitude of different abilities, there is bound to be a plethora of expectations and disappointments.” you stated with a light shrug, “Besides, I'm kinda tired of the whole 'introducing people's abilities before themselves'.”

“Isn’t that a little contradictory?” he inquired, and the defensiveness beat your urge to laugh. “What? No-- You were the one who willingly confirmed what you could do. I was only asking about–”

“The bath thing,” Higuruma affirmed before you could. “Yeah, yeah, I remember.” The look he gave you was one that had a grin fighting to take over your lips. It may have been filled with some annoyance, further concluded by a slight shake of his head. But it wasn’t the bad kind.

“Listen,” you began, trying to regain that seriousness so that you could get back to your point, even if it faltered. “All I’m saying is that we have every other day to discuss our abilities, man, but right now we have the chance to just... sit and talk about anything but that.”

That feeling of defensiveness was back, no matter its battle with amusement. And this time it was on a level that had you crossing your arms over your chest, as if it would do anything. “Then what do you have in mind?” Higuruma questioned, simply watching you complete your movement.

Your lips parted immediately for some reason. It was like your mind had pre-prepared some form of comeback as it got ready to let the words roll off your tongue… but they barely even formed into a sound. It was more like a slight croak, in all honesty. You paused. 

“... I didn't think that far."

For the first time in the minutes that you had known this man, the corners of his mouth had finally, and visibly, curled. 

He looked at you, his smile begging to grow further and further, to the point that he started biting it down. 

It was sort of unusual to see. Most of the time you looked at him, he had this blankness that latched to his face in a way that made it almost look embedded into the skin. There wasn’t really any difference in expression; it was more the movement of muscles. 

Yet now, whatever he was showing had almost reached his eyes, and it sat very nicely.

“What?” you half breathed out, a sort of nervous laugh breaking through your lips despite most of your face being screwed up in confusion. Higuruma waved a hand lazily and said, “Nothing. It's nothing; you're just…”

“It's all just been a little interesting,” he finally confessed, and though you were sure of its meaning, the phrasing put a crack in your amusement. “In a good way or a bad way?” you quizzed with a lighter tone, settling back into the chair, which never actually relieved the tension from your spine.

Higuruma shook his head once more before his gaze shifted to find your own. That previous spike of enjoyment seemed to use up the last bit of energy he had for the day as his face slowly reverted back to its usual state.

“It's good now, I think…” he started, dragging out the ending word, and it wasn’t until he lowered his chin that you realised he was gesturing in your direction. He was asking for your name. You hadn’t told him your name?

“Oh… Oh, just call me, L/n.” you informed quickly, trying to hide the confusion that had made itself known once more while the man before you simply nodded. “L/n,” he repeated quietly before continuing in a fuller voice. “Well, I hope your first impression of me wasn’t as bad as it sounds in my head,”

The slight grimace dusting over his face had you huffing out a laugh in seconds. “Oh, I don’t think you’ll need to worry about that any time soon, Higuruma,” you insisted, letting that smile take its rightful place on your lips to further prove it. 

And though it took a moment of looking at each other, he finally had a reason to do it too.

“Not at all.”

[thewiz9062]

Smiling Critters AU: Dogday's Psyche

NOTE: THIS IS NOT RELATED TO CANON IN THE SLIGHTEST. An accurate description of this au is that I took every playtime.co poster art and promotional material from the game and lit up the rest of canon in a bonfire. Meaning that EVERY character is part of one big cartoon. Thats it. No bigger bodies project, no child souls, no experiments, just a depiction of a cartoon. PLEASE do not ask me to do anything suggestive with anyone.

OK I know it's been a while since I posted one of these but bear with me here this one was interesting to write

So dogday

In my other posts, I've already made him a constant in everyone's lives (as he's the main character) but I want to go into how he thinks because that explains alot of his actions and most importantly, his interactions with catnap.

Tldr, dogday is elation (que demoic giggling if you get the reference)

Now usually when you see a happy go lucky character you immediately go "they've either had the happiest childhood ever and are genuinely like this or they didn't and they're faking it" and that was gonna be my original assessment with dogday. But yk.....that's bland. So i decided to mix the two: pretty bad childhood but they're happy....unhealthily so. Hear me out here:

In my au, dogday was abandoned as a baby at a foster home. So they "raised him" (they just did just over the bare minimum, I don't wanna villianize the workers though because they did have like a bunch of other kids there as well, not excusing them of course) but he was mostly left to his own devices. Normally this would dampen a child's spirit but dogday is quite a fighter, finding joy or happiness wherever he could. Whether it be picture books or TV shows, he found a way to make himself happy. And All the media he knew subtly shunned sadness or anger or anything of the sort. So now all dogday knew was happiness, as anything else was 'bad' and needed to be fixed.

The people around him didn't help his mindset either. After interacting with the other kids there, they usually had some semblance of an uplift in mood for the rest of their day. It usually didn't last long, though, because while dogday lived there their entire life, the others were there due to...unfortunate circumstances. He also could notice how the workers felt like he was a breath of fresh air compared to the other children, who mostly needed consoling, while dogday was 'self-sufficient' (they try I swear they're just not good at it)

So all in all, after 13 years of this dogday... was in a very unique state of mind. If you want a simple explanation, then he has this mental limiter. Anything happy or can bring joy can stay, and any other thoughts get snuffed out immediately. So he's not faking happiness. In a way, he just doesn't know anything else. Present him a situation where someone is sad his first instinct is to cheer them up, and usually it works, but in the situation it doesn't, he'll pretty much blue-screen. Cuz after all, it's always worked before, what else does he know?

So enter catnap.

Catnap is essentially his foil, and his main purpose is to help him see the other side of things because sun and moon dynamic yk I had to do it

Someone like catnap won't be cheered up normally, catnaps sort of nihilistic when it comes to problems, believing nothing can be done about it, cause in his situation he had no control over what happened, so why try and fix what he can't, that's meaningless. So letting his emotions pass by and move on is his way of 'comfort' So dogday's attempts at cheering him up doesn't work, and as Dogday does in those situations, he blue-screens. Normally when dogday fails to cheer someone up and he visibly panics, they'll give him a smile or a laugh, and seeing that instantly fills dogday with relief, even though he doesn't see that it doesn't reach their eyes.

Catnap won't do that however, because of his own coping mechanism. So dogday will panic, quietly spiraling into thoughts like "why isn't it working, what do I do, how do I fix this" and catnap reads his face and tells him to stop, he just needs a moment. Dogday wouldn't understand, he's never seen sadness be good for someone.

And from there his learning journey begins (aka how to feel other things)

God I love making them mentally unstable

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

For those who are not aware, I have decided to run the gauntlet of @bengiyo’s Queer Cinema Syllabus and have officially started Unit 2: Race, Disability, and Class. The films in Unit 2 are: The Way He Looks (2014), Being 17 (2016), Naz and Maalik (2015), The Obituary of Tunde Johnson (2019), Margarita With a Straw (2014), My Beautiful Laundrette (1985), Brother to Brother (2004), and Beautiful Thing (1996)

Today I will be writing about

Beautiful Thing (1996) dir. Hettie MacDonald

[Run Time: 1:31, Available on: tubi, Amazon Prime, YouTube rental, and Google play]

Summary: “Jamie is a shy teenager, often bullied at school. His neighbour Ste has a rough time at home, being beaten by his father and brother. This issues bring them together and they find that what they feel for each other is more than friendship.” from IMDB

Cast * Glen Berry as Jamie Gangel * Scott Neal as Ste Pearce * Linda Hentry as Sandra Gangel, Jamei’s mother * Tameka Empson as Leah, Jamie and Ste’s hot mess of a neighbor

___

Ok, I will be honest, this one did not get me to connect to it as emotionally as some of the other films in this Unit and there were a few scenes in the middle where I completely lost the plot and had difficulty understanding what exactly was going on. As a result, I don’t have as much to say about this film. But overall, I did enjoy Beautiful Things and I think my favorite aspect of it fully comes down to it’s depictions of community and family. And honestly, I feel a little bit bad, but I think Sandra Gangel, Jamie’s mother was probably the most interesting and compelling character for me in this whole film, followed closely by Leah. 

I don’t have as much to say about this film in part because I think that the other movies in this unit do a lot more with the intersections of identity, and have interesting things to say that require a bit more unpacking. But I do not think that is as much of the case here. It feels more akin to a coming of age film than the others in this unit. 

I love that Sandra is somewhat complicated and three dimensional, and also that she is ride or die for her son. I think it is so accurate and wonderful to have her yelling at Jamie for skipping school one second and then lying to the teacher about him having a stomach ache the next. I like that we get these insights in to her character, her background, the life she lived before she had a son, that help explain the relationship she has to raising Jamie and why their dynamic is the way that it is. I love that she isn’t fully mature, and that she is willing to throw hands with children when they are being gossipy little bitches spreading (mis)information. 

I did find it very interesting and pretty decent commentary that we never really learn the reason why Ste is abused by his father and his brother. Perhaps it is because they know something is different about Ste, but ultimately, we are not given a reason, and that is so much of abuse, right? Especially by having Ste’s brother be an abuser as well, is Ste’s brother abusive just to be abusive or is Ste’s brother abusive to keep himself out of harms way?

But as I said above, my favorite aspect of Beautiful Thing is the throughline of community and community care. Namely that Sandra knows that Ste is being abused by his father and brother and she takes him in to her home so he has a safe place to rest. This is shit that I have seen my own family members do in their small communities. People they have raised like their own because there was no one else around them who would keep them safe. 

I like that they don’t have to have Jamie come out explicitly and state how long he has known that he is queer, and yet I sensed The Knowing on him. I like that he calls out Ste’s own fear of being called queer, while admitting he might be afraid to be called that himself, but that I do not see shame in Jamie in the least. I like that we are spared from the bullying Jamie faces for being queer in school, and only see the aftermath of it. 

I think it is really important to show high school students who understand their own sexualities and are confident in them, and I think Jamie is a really killer example of that. 

For/By/About 

By and About. The playwright of the original story is queer. I’m thinking about whether or not it would behoove me to do away with this section of my reviews because my determinations for this are vibes based and the last few films when the identities have been intersectional are much harder to parse. On one hand, I think you could say that having these boys be happy and letting Jamie have an accepting parent could be for the queer community. But I just…did not connect to this as a queer story. For me, and perhaps it is by nature of having women who are written and performed as human beings, I found the story around Jamie and Ste’s connection to Sandra to be far more interesting, and only the last like…15 minutes of the film have anything to do with Sandra’s reaction to Jamie and Ste being queer. 

Favorite Quote 

“There’s an island in the Mediterranean named Lesbian and all it’s inhabitants are dykes”

I do not think this requires any explanation. 

Favorite Moment

gif by @bl-bam-beyond

Honestly, I am a really big fan of the dance at the very end of the film. I like how quickly and easily it shows Ste and Jamie’s acceptance and comfortability with their relationship. I like that Leah and Sandra joined in at the end, both establishing themselves as allies and normalizing two people of the same sex dancing together. While there were a few other moments that were more emotionally compelling, the dancing scene at the end is a joyous celebration and moment of visibility for queer people, and I think a little dance in the sun is the perfect way to close out Unit 2, as I head towards The Rough Units: Unit 3- Faith and Religion and then eventually Unit 4- Heartbreak Alley. 

Score

9/10

I think structurally and technically it was sound, it dipped in the middle, and I was overall less invested than other movies in the syllabus, but it was still very good.

__

And with that, I am done with Unit 2! On to Unit 3: Faith and Religion which I am sure is filled with nothing but upbeat, positive, happy stories..... (can you hear the sarcasm). Be warned as I have been warned that the next couple units are gonna be filled queer pain.

[108garys]

Little Hope 1692 puritan dialogue

Okay so I've been working on this for the past few days and it was just as painful as it looks, in an attempt to figure out the way the puritan's speak so I can actually write fic set in their era that would come off as authentic to the games depictions of not entirely accurate to life, I have transcribed all of their dialogue across the 15 1692 scenes and compiled them here. There are instances where scenes of parts of scenes are repeated to include variations and places that may not make sense as I wrote exclusively 1600s character's dialogue, I don't claim there are no typos or stray line of dialogue missed(I ignored Mary singing ring around the rosey as its a commonly known song for example), I found the whole process to be educational and painful I feel that it helped me get to my goal and hopefully I'll be able to write something in that era I feel confident in and I truely hope the rest of you can also benefit from my very autistic labour of love

(Edit: added a few missed lines)

Well that's enough of that, get to it 😁

Scene one Amy and Mary Mary: What is your name sir? Mary: Ann-drew. Mary: And your name lady? Mary: I am called Mary. Mary: I fashioned her with my own hand. Mary: She looks just like the one beside you! Mary: would you kindly come play with me? Mary: Come play… Mary: Come play with me. Amy: What witch's trickery is this now, Mary? Mary: I have done nothing. Amy: Hold your tongue! I see what you truly are, Mary. Amy: Reverend Carver's affection for you will be shaken loose when he learns of your infidelity with the Devil! Mary: Amy, come back here!

Scene two Amy(curious) Amy: Who are you? Amy: What is it you want from me? Amy: These are most troubling times. Amy: Stay away! Amy: Please Lord I beg you. Amy: Rid me of these apparitions. Amy: Fix your gaze elsewhere! You are no husband of mine.

Scene two Amy(aggressive) Amy: Who are you? Amy: What is it you want from me? Amy: Hell…? Amy: Strangers are not welcome in Little Hope. Amy: Stay away! Amy: Begone demon! Your spells will not work on me! Amy: Please Lord I beg you. Amy: Rid me of these apparitions. Amy: Fix your gaze elsewhere! You are no husband of mine.

Scene three Mary and Carver(intervene) Mary: Quiet now! I will not be caught! Mary: Get away or he will find me! Carver: Come on out, Mary. I know very well you are in there. Mary: Please no, let me go! Carver: I will release you once I am sure you will not speak of our secret. Carver: Your childish games tire me. Carver: You will respect me and say nothing. Mary: No. Carver: What spell have you cast? Carver: I am frozen to my marrow. Mary: I have done nothing. Amy is the caster of spells. Mary: She is the one in league with the devil. Mary: I saw her in the forest together with her familiars. I am innocent! Carver: I will have the truth one way or another. Carver: You come with me girl! Mary: Thank you kindly… Carver: Be silent child.

Scene three Mary and Carver(don't intervene) Mary: Quiet now! I will not be caught! Mary: Get away or he will find me! Carver: Come on out, Mary. I know very well you are in there. Mary: Please no, let me go! Carver: I will release you once I am sure you will not speak of our secret. Carver: Your childish games tire me. Carver: You will respect me and say nothing. Mary: Do not abandon me here, please. Carver: Who are you pleading with? Carver: evil clings to you. That is plain to see. Mary: You are mistaken, I am a child, the devil has no time for me. Mary: Amy is the one who he craves, I have seen it with my own eyes. Carver: I will have the truth one way or another. Carver: You come with me girl!

Scene four carver and the Lamberts(confront) Joseph: The back door is locked. What troubles you? Joseph: Tell me, what is happening? Amy soon they will come for me. Joseph: Calm yourself wife. Who is coming for you? Amy: They are taking about me. There are accusations. Joseph: Accusations of what sort? Amy: There is talk I am in league with the devil, that I am guilty of witchcraft. Joseph: There is no sense in that. Who would say such a thing? Amy: I, I cannot rightly say… Joseph: Stay where you are. Joseph: Hold your tongue. Joseph: You are privy to the rumors about my wife Amy? Carver: Open the door Joseph, this instance. Joseph: Enough of your foolishness, tell me precisely what you know. Joseph: Tell me about her. Joseph: Reverend Carver? The one now beating on our door? Amy: Mary… Joseph: Come now Mary! Mary? Amy: Mary saw me in the woods a day or so back. I was about my daily business, nothing more. Joseph: There is more to this. Amy: Mary does not like me chiding her, perhaps she has spoken out against me. Amy: She has a temper. Joseph: You suggest the rumours are Mary's doing? She is a troubled child for sure but this is beyond her. Carver: Joseph, this ends badly if you do not open up. Carver: You will be in contempt of our warrant. Amy: What plan do we have? Joseph: I will resolve this, my word on it. Amy: Do not admit them! Joseph: Reverend Carver, Marshal. Carver: I have here a legally written warrant for the arrest of Amy. Joseph: My wife has done nothing wrong… Carver: There is a witness to your wife speaking in tongues. Joseph: who accuses my wife? Carver: Mary. Joseph: The word of a child condemns my wife! Carver: You will deliver yourself into the Marshal's hands, for your own good. Joseph: Then I must accompany her, she will not leave my sight. Carver: Such actions will not aid your wife's cause. Trust in justice. Joseph: Do not fear. I will find a way to resolve this…

Scene four(do nothing) Joseph: You are privy to the rumors about my wife Amy? Carver: Open the door Joseph, this instance. Joseph: Enough of your foolishness, tell me precisely what you know. Joseph: Something ails you, what? Joseph: You seem changed, even your attire. Carver: Joseph, this ends badly if you do not open up. Carver: You will be in contempt of our warrant. Amy: What plan do we have? Joseph: I will resolve this, my word on it. Amy: Do not admit them! Joseph: Reverend Carver, Marshal. Carver: I have here a legally written warrant for the arrest of Amy. Joseph: My wife has done nothing wrong… Carver: There is a witness to your wife speaking in tongues. Joseph: who accuses my wife? Carver: Mary. Joseph: The word of a child condemns my wife! Carver: You will deliver yourself into the Marshal's hands, for your own good. Joseph: Then I must accompany her, she will not leave my sight. Carver: Such actions will not aid your wife's cause. Trust in justice. Joseph: Do not fear. I will find a way to resolve this…

Scene four carver and the Lamberts(leave) Joseph: The back door is locked. What troubles you? Joseph: Tell me, what is happening? Amy soon they will come for me. Joseph: Calm yourself wife. Who is coming for you? Amy: They are taking about me. There are accusations. Joseph: Accusations of what sort? Amy: There is talk I am in league with the devil, that I am guilty of witchcraft. Joseph: There is no sense in that. Who would say such a thing? Amy: I, I cannot rightly say… Joseph: Stay where you are. Joseph: Hold your tongue. Joseph: You are privy to the rumors about my wife Amy? Amy: Please sir, do not open that door. Joseph: Do not let them take me, I beg you husband. Carver: I am hear to arrest your wife, Joseph. Carver: I have the legal warrant here. Joseph: My wife has done nothing wrong… Carver: There is a witness to your wife speaking in tongues. Joseph: who accuses my wife? Carver: Mary. Joseph: The word of a child condemns my wife! Carver: You will deliver yourself into the Marshal's hands, for your own good. Joseph: Then I must accompany her, she will not leave my sight. Carver: Such actions will not aid your wife's cause. Trust in justice. Joseph: Do not fear. I will find a way to resolve this…

Scene five Amy(phone section, all versions mixed) Amy: As I walked, a man and a woman appeared at my front. Amy: I had not seen them approach. I reached out in fear. Amy: I did not know them. Their clothes and manner of speaking were not familiar to me. Amy: They spoke of things that I could not make sense of. Amy: I swear I do not know where he came from or what he wanted of me. Amy: I could not make sense of the things he spoke of, you must believe me I beg you! Amy: I stand falsely accused of crimes I know nothing of. Amy: You are not my husband! Amy: You have no authority over me! Amy: You are mistaken if you believe I am cowed by you!

Scene five (proper)Amy, Joseph, carver, Mary, wyman, David, Tabitha Carver: Come here girl. I would speak with you. Carver: You cannot talk of our secret. Carver: Eternal damnation awaits you if you do. Carver: We have an understanding do we not? Mary: No evil words shall leave my lips. Carver: Should you breathe a word, or the edge of a word, about… the other things… Carver: Then I will come to you in the black of some terrible night and bring a reckoning that will shudder you. Wyman: Come now Reverend let us begin, time has gone begging. Carver: Go be with your kin. Carver: I beseech this court and good Judge Wyman, do not be fooled by the protestations of the accused. Carver: The devil is the master of deceit, all his servants feign innocence. Carver: They can do little else. Amy: I solemnly swear before God, I am innocent of all accusations against me. Carver: Hush now, Amy.

Scene five(apprehensive) Amy: I mean no offense Reverend Carver…but I do not believe any of my neighbors, those who know me best, will speak out against me. Amy: They know who I am, that I side with the righteous. Carver: I will not be caught in the web of your deception. Carver: the devil hides himself where he is least expected. Joseph: My wife is no devil's plaything, Reverend! Joseph: I beg the court's forgiveness, but I stand by my statement. Joseph: My wife Amy is innocent. Carver: I respectfully ask this good court to pay no mind to the words of a man whose very home is foul with the stench of brimstone. Carver: I beg you good judge let us conclude our business here without further ado. Carver: Lest we afford the forces of darkness the opportunity to bend these proceedings to there will. Mary: No! David: Mary?! Tabitha: Mary, my sister what ails you? Carver: What have you done to this child? Mary: They are here among us! Carver: You have bound an innocent girl into a pact with the Devil himself. Carver: the poor creature seems possessed, no doubt your doing. Amy: Its not true Reverend, why have you taken against me so? Carver: We will see the truth of it! Carver: Amy, lay your hands on Mary, let us see what occurs. Carver: If I am correct your touch will release her from this affliction. Carver: It must be so if you are the one who bewitched her. Mary: They are here among us… They are here among us… Amy: No! Carver: What more proof is needed that the Devil walks among us in Little Hope! Carver: Take heed and pray, the Devil is here in this very room, protect yourselves, seek out the Lord…

Scene five(intense) Amy: I beg you not to abandon me. Wyman: By all that is holy, with whom are you conversing, woman? Wyman: Even though I have seen this with my own eyes, I scarcely believe it. Carver: Amy is lost to us. Carver: Even now she pleads for evil spirits to remain by her side. Amy: You must help me, I beg you… Carver: I would ask the court to hear direct testimony, a witness who saw with her own eyes the accused take part in some unspeakable satanic ritual, in the woods outside this very town. Joseph: Reverend Carver you mislead us all! Joseph: Forgive me good Judge but it is my wife who stands accused and I know her to be innocent. Carver: I would not be so quick as to cast stones at others, Joseph. Carver: Not when your own conduct does not bear scrutiny. Amy: Please hear me good Judge, all accusations against me are false, they are founded only in malice. Wyman: If there be darkness among us I will shine- Mary: No! David: Mary?! Tabitha: Mary, my sister what ails you? Carver: What have you done to this child? Mary: They are here among us! Carver: You have bound an innocent girl into a pact with the Devil himself. Carver: the poor creature seems possessed, no doubt your doing. Amy: Its not true Reverend, why have you taken against me so? Carver: We will see the truth of it! Carver: Amy, lay your hands on Mary, let us see what occurs. Carver: If I am correct your touch will release her from this affliction. Carver: It must be so if you are the one who bewitched her. Mary: They are here among us… They are here among us… Amy: No! Carver: What more proof is needed that the Devil walks among us in Little Hope! Carver: Take heed and pray, the Devil is here in this very room, protect yourselves, seek out the Lord…

Scene five(enraged) Mary: No! David: Mary?! Tabitha: Mary, my sister what ails you? Carver: What have you done to this child? Mary: They are here among us! Carver: You have bound an innocent girl into a pact with the Devil himself. Carver: the poor creature seems possessed, no doubt your doing. Amy: Its not true Reverend, why have you taken against me so? Carver: We will see the truth of it! Carver: Amy, lay your hands on Mary, let us see what occurs. Carver: If I am correct your touch will release her from this affliction. Carver: It must be so if you are the one who bewitched her. Joseph: Who speaks? David: Who is there? Tabitha: God preserve us. Amy: Please help me! I beg you! Carver: Your master cannot help you now, it is too late. Mary: They are here among us… They are here among us… Amy: No! Carver: What more proof is needed that the Devil walks among us in Little Hope! Carver: Take heed and pray, the Devil is here in this very room, protect yourselves, seek out the Lord…

Scene five( approach Joseph) Joseph: I beg the court's forgiveness, but I stand by my statement. Joseph: My wife Amy is innocent. Carver: I respectfully ask this good court to pay no mind to the words of a man whose very home is foul with the stench of brimstone. Wyman: I feel a chilll in my bones. What manner of evil is this? Carver: The beast has his malevolent gaze upon us, his servant is among us. Amy: The supposed evidence against me is little more than spiteful imaginings. Wyman: If there be darkness among us I will shine-

Scene six Amy, Carver and Joseph(confused) Carver: In this year of our Lord Sixteen Hundred and Ninety Two: We are here present to bear witness to a just execution. Joseph: No! Carver: Amy is declared guilty of consorting with the Devil… and is to be drowned as a witch and a Sorceress. Carver: Let us pray in silence for her soul. Amy: I have done no wrong… I am no witch… I do not deserve death! Amy: …I beg you! Amy: Your words have little meaning to me but I beg you, help me. Carver: The Devil is in the wind, seeking to help his own. Carver: He would release her from the chains! Carver: Isaac, let us conclude our business here swiftly. The will of the court must be imposed before its too late! Carver: The devil fortifies her. You must bind her tightly. Amy: You cannot do this! Carver: Isaac, fulfill the will of the court! Amy: I am innocent! Help me! Carver: Send this witch back into the lap of her master, lest he come for us all. Amy: Too late! Amy: Little Hope is already lost, shrouded in evil. Amy: But not as you claim, from witchcraft or outside demons, we are poisoned from within. Carver: You will not save yourself with riddles. Amy: There is no riddle. Amy: The devil takes many forms, you know that better than any. Amy: In Little Hope, he has his himself under a shroud of innocence. Amy: Taken the form of a child, my accuser! Amy: While Mary still draws breath, Little Hope remains beyond salvation. Amy: There lies your evil, Reverend! In your very midst. Carver: Isaac.

Scene six Amy, Carver and Joseph(confused) Carver: In this year of our Lord Sixteen Hundred and Ninety Two: We are here present to bear witness to a just execution. Joseph: No! Carver: Amy is declared guilty of consorting with the Devil… and is to be drowned as a witch and a Sorceress. Carver: Let us pray in silence for her soul. Amy: I have done no wrong… I am no witch… I do not deserve death! Amy: …I beg you! Amy: Please sir… Amy: You must help me… you must! Carver: The Devil is in the wind, seeking to help his own. Carver: He would release her from the chains! Carver: Isaac, let us conclude our business here swiftly. The will of the court must be imposed before its too late! Carver: The devil fortifies her. You must bind her tightly. Amy: You cannot do this! Carver: Isaac, fulfill the will of the court! Amy: I am innocent! Help me! Carver: Send this witch back into the lap of her master, lest he come for us all. Amy: Too late! Amy: Little Hope is already lost, shrouded in evil. Amy: But not as you claim, from witchcraft or outside demons, we are poisoned from within. Carver: You will not save yourself with riddles. Amy: There is no riddle. Amy: The devil takes many forms, you know that better than any. Amy: In Little Hope, he has his himself under a shroud of innocence. Amy: Taken the form of a child, my accuser! Amy: While Mary still draws breath, Little Hope remains beyond salvation. Amy: There lies your evil, Reverend! In your very midst. Carver: Isaac.

Scene seven Joesph, Mary, Tabitha(unsettled) Joseph: Shh Quiet, I beg you. Tabitha: Mary? MARY! MARY!!! Mary: I am over this way. Joseph: Mary, the fountain of all evil is here. Joseph: You speak to me of death? This day I have pulled my wife's body from a watery grave and buried her with in the ground with my own hands. Joseph: And all this because of her, Mary. Joseph: I have no answers for you. Perhaps I am already under a witches spell. Mary: There it lies! I have found it! Tabitha: How did you come by this? Mary: Fashioned with my own hand. Tabitha: I take it to protect you. Suspicion and betrayal walk side by side in Little Hope, no one is safe. Mary: Please Tabitha, let me keep it…

Scene seven Joesph, Mary, Tabitha(dubious) Joseph: Shh Quiet, I beg you. Tabitha: Mary? MARY! MARY!!! Mary: I am over this way. Joseph: Mary, the fountain of all evil is here. Joseph: My beloved Amy declared it so with her dying testimony. Joseph: If the evil here is to end, Mary must be stopped. Joseph: I have no answers for you. Perhaps I am already under a witches spell. Mary: There it lies! I have found it! Tabitha: How did you come by this? Mary: Fashioned with my own hand. Tabitha: I take it to protect you. Suspicion and betrayal walk side by side in Little Hope, no one is safe. Mary: Please Tabitha, let me keep it…

Scene eight Tabitha's arrest(confront Mary) Tabitha: You must help me, I beg you. Isaac: Only God can ease your plight now. Isaac: This court has heard from Joseph how Mary has in her possession a devil's plaything, a poppet. Isaac: It is clear to me that you, Tabitha are the one who gave the child this monstrosity. Isaac: You must come with me. Tabitha: Mary tell him about this poppet, how you made it with your own hands. Mary: You are mistaken dear sister, the doll has never been mine. Tabitha: Do you see now why I must have your help? Please. Isaac: The child is possessed! This is witchcraft! Mary: The poppet is not mine, I swear it. Isaac: Your master can help you no more. Isaac: Cast aside your false idols and pray to the one, almighty Lord for forgiveness. Isaac: You will pay dearly for bewitching an innocent child. Tabitha: I beg you Mary, speak the truth before it is too late! This cannot be undone! Isaac: Silence woman.

Scene eight Tabitha's arrest(grab doll) Tabitha: You must help me, I beg you. Isaac: Only God can ease your plight now. Isaac: This court has heard from Joseph how Mary has in her possession a devil's plaything, a poppet. Isaac: It is clear to me that you, Tabitha are the one who gave the child this monstrosity. Isaac: You must come with me. Tabitha: Mary tell him about this poppet, how you made it with your own hands. Mary: You are mistaken dear sister, the doll has never been mine. Tabitha: Do you see now why I must have your help? Please. Isaac: What trickery is this? Witchcraft! Isaac: Your master can help you no more. Isaac: Cast aside your false idols and pray to the one, almighty Lord for forgiveness. Isaac: You will pay dearly for bewitching an innocent child. Tabitha: I beg you Mary, speak the truth before it is too late! This cannot be undone! Isaac: Silence woman.

Scene nine Carver (disembodied voice in 2020) Carver: This woman must pay for all the wickedness she has brought among us. Carver: The innocent here are now corrupted and she is to blame.

Scene nine Tabitha, Mary, Carver(Tabitha's execution/burnt) Mary: This is not my doing. Tabitha: You must help me- I beg of you! Tabitha: Please help me before its too late! Carver: Hush now, woman. Carver: Only the almighty can forgive your sin. Carver: That is your only hope of salvation. Tabitha: Listen to me! Tabitha: I have committed no sin. Tabitha: The poppet I am condemned for is a child's plaything. Nothing more. I swear it! Carver: You will not sway me. Carver: The sickness you brought into our midst must be purged. To free all of us, and you, from evil. Carver: You must burn! Tabitha: I beg you! Stop! Do not do this! Tabitha: No a- please no! No stop! Carver: I pray, Lord, for you to take the soul of this our sister Tabitha… Who has been led astray by the Devil… And do with it as you will.

Scene nine Mary, carver, Tabitha(Tabitha's execution hanging) Mary: This is not my doing. Tabitha: You must help me- I beg of you! Tabitha: Please help me before its too late! Carver: Hush now, woman. Carver: Only the almighty can forgive your sin. Carver: That is your only hope of salvation. Tabitha: Listen to me! Tabitha: I have committed no sin. Tabitha: The poppet I am condemned for is a child's plaything. Nothing more. I swear it! Carver: I will not be deceived. Carver: I see the evil in you! Carver: My duty is to cleanse our two of your sickness. There is no other way. Carver: You must hang! Carver: I pray, Lord, for you to take the soul of this our sister Tabitha… Who has been led astray by the Devil… And do with it as you will.

Scene ten David, Mary, Carver (aggressive+ dubious) David: I never thought I would lay my eyes on you again… Tabitha… David: All I want, all I desire, is to protect Mary. David: These are difficult times, the town is set against us but I will not flinch from keeping her safe. David: I see your trickery. David: You would tempt me into betrayal in exchange for your hollow words. David: I will not abandon Mary. David: Mary! Thanks be to God! Carver: I heard talk David, but you are without company. Carver: Were you conversing with the same evil spirits who took hold of Amy and Tabitha? David: There are no spirits here. David: Can you not see these people standing alongside me? Tabitha among them. Carver: Except for Mary, we are alone, David. David: Tell me you see Tabitha here? How can you not? Mary: If Tabitha is by your side then it is her ghost. Mary: I am certain he was trying to ward off any evil spirits, not conjure them. Carver: Enough! Carver: Tabitha was justly executed as you well know. Carver: Perhaps guilt has clouded your senses. Carver: Tabitha is gone but the evil she brought remains! Carver: You will come to no harm from David, my word on that. David: I am no danger to Mary! Nothing in heaven or hell could tempt me to harm her.

Scene ten David, Mary, Carver (Curious+Intense) David: I never thought I would lay my eyes on you again… Tabitha… David: I ask myself the same question. David: Something is happening which has changed us all, even young Mary. David: Some days Mary seems the gentle kind hearted young girl I've always loved. David: Yet she's changed also, there is a malice in her so powerful I dare not name it. David: God forgive me but my heart wishes you here with me Tabitha, not Mary… Mary: Even from death she has hold of you. David: Mary… Mary: Her spirit has held you so tight you are still blinded by her. David: You twist the meaning of my words. David: Our sister lives, she is here next to me. David: I know you see her too. Mary: No devil abides here. Mary: David is stricken with grief. He is confused. David: I am not confused. I am speaking the truth! Carver: Judge Wyman will decide who speaks the truth here. Carver: You will come to no harm from David, my word on that. David: I am no danger to Mary! Nothing in heaven or hell could tempt me to harm her.

Scene eleven David, carver, Mary Carver: It pains me to say these words but your punishment today will protect us all… Carver: Keep our town safe. Mary: Can you spare him? I beg you. Carver: This is hard for you child but one day you will understand and you will thank me. David: Go from this place Mary, your pleas cannot reach him. My fate is not a memory you should carry. Mary: Who will be my keeper if you are gone? Carver: Judge Wyman has instructed Abraham, he will be your keeper. Carver: A decision not all are in agreement with. Carver: Every man will face his day of judgment. Carver: Yours is today. Carver: (shock) Carver: Look child, see who you would have me spare. Carver: See he is no longer of this Earth! Carver: Only the damned and the devil can resist in this way.

Scene twelve Abraham and Joseph Abraham: No, this cannot be. Abraham: my own eyes deceive me… Abraham: My apologies for the lateness of the hour, but I must speak with you. Joseph: What ails you my friend? Abraham: It is Mary, I am troubled by her, by the part she has played in these trials. Joseph: Those trials trouble us all. Abraham: There is more to this. Abraham: I saw her smile as her own sister was executed. She took pleasure from it. Joseph: Are you certain? Abraham: I am. Abraham: But now that she speaks of guilt and remorse, it is hard not to believe her. Joseph: Keep away from her Abraham, no good can come from being with that child. Abraham: Too late… With her brother and sister gone, Mary now lives under my roof. Joseph: Your charity places you in grave danger. Abraham: What do you advise? Joseph: Tell the court you suspect she toys with us all. Joseph: That you saw her delight in her own sister's death. I implore you. Abraham: I am torn. Mary seems full of remorse. Joseph: Keep your suspicions to yourself, and it is our community which will suffer. Joseph: None of us is safe from her wild imaginings. Abraham: Very well, if the court will listen, I will speak. Abraham: I am bewitched. Abraham: How else can your presence be explained? Abraham: She has conjured you to defend her, to press me into silence! Abraham: Only the devil could create a demon who so resembles me. Abraham: What do you want from me? Abraham: I was decided to speak to the court. Now I am not so sure… Abraham: The devil has sent you to tempt me. I must not succumb. Abraham: Little hope is no longer the town I knew. Abraham: Strange and disturbing events have become commonplace. Abraham: You -whatever you are- are but one of these. Abraham: Revealing the truth about Mary may save my friend, but it does not sit easy with me that in doing so I condemn a child. (blame carver) Abraham: Reverend Carver is a man guided by God, no one can doubt that. (say nothing) Abraham: the balance of my heart tells me it is right and just to reveal what I know about Mary. (blame Mary) Abraham: You are cursed, a sure sign of the devil!

Scene thirteen Abraham, wyman, carver Abraham: Now is my time to speak before the judge. Abraham: I am filled with dread. Abraham: I cannot know how my testimony will be received. Abraham: The devil has blinded so many to what is real and what is not. Carver: Nothing good will come of this! Carver: … His words will seek to twist the truth. Wyman: Allow me to judge what is true. Carver: Abraham and Joseph are allies in this deception. Carver: And lest we forget you condemned Joseph to death only yesterday. Carver: Or do you now question that decision? Wyman: I have heard nothing today to sway my conviction. Wyman: Joseph consorted with the same malicious force as his wife. Wyman: For this the court thanks Reverend Carver who faced the devil's wrath to present the evidence. Carver: Tis only my duty judge. Wyman: However this court is duty bound by law to seek out the truth. Wyman: We must therefore examine these claims made by Abraham against Mary. Carver: If I may speak briefly, Judge Wyman. Wyman: Time is short Reverend, be indeed brief. Carver: Mary has shown great fortitude to speak out against the evil here. Carver: Many would have lacked her courage. Carver: Yet her reward for exposing this brooding coven in our midst is to be besmirch. Wyman: Her courage is not in question, it is her intent we must be certain of. Carver: Her accuser is the very man entrusted to care for this innocent child! Carver: Plain to see he is not fit for such a task… Carver: And I would ask the court to have Mary placed elsewhere. Wyman: Who would you have be her new ward, Reverend? Carver: I am prepared to take responsibility for the child, if the court agrees. Wyman: First the court must hear what Abraham has to say. Wyman: No decision can be made on the child until then. Wyman: Abraham! Abraham: What am I to do? Abraham: Some would have me speak against Mary, but could a child truly be capable of such evil? Wyman: Tell the court what you have come here to say. Wyman: Speak up boy, out with it! Abraham: Mary has spoken of evil spirits, devilry and witchcraft. Abraham: Things many cannot believe could exist here in Little Hope. Wyman: I'm not here for history and hearsay, get to the point boy! Abraham: Mary is tormented. Abraham: The apparitions she has seen, they have plagued her, stolen her innocence. Abraham: Some have suggested she is in league with these creatures but no one can be certain… Abraham: Myself least of all. Abraham: Can any of us truly know a child's mind? Wyman: You claim I lack the ability to see the truth? Abraham: I beg forgiveness, I would never suggest such a thing. Wyman: My time is not for wasting, you and the priest have irked me enough for one day. Abraham: I have more to say… Wyman: I have already given you enough time. Wyman: Furthermore Mary is to be placed into the care of Reverend Carver. Now stand down.

Scene fourteen Joseph, carver and mary(confront) Carver: No one in Little Hope is safe while you still draw breath, Joseph. Carver: You must die today. Carver: Not even your wife Amy was spared your lust to serve Satan! Joseph: Damn me if you must. Joseph: You're not fit to speak ill of my late wife! Carver: There is still fight in you! Carver: I must drive the devil out for the safety of everyone here. Joseph: No one is safe! Carver: Joseph, do you renounce the devil and all his teachings? Joseph: I carry no sin… I'm no disciple… of the devil. Joseph: Our town is infected with madness, bought here by… Satan's servant… Mary! Mary: Get away! Carver: Look! Carver: See how this poor child is tormented! Carver: Joseph still clutches her with the devil's hand! Carver: More stones! Carver: The devil must be crushed from within him! Carver: Do not flinch! Carver: The fate of Little Hope rests in your hands.

Scene fourteen Joseph, carver and mary(help) Carver: No one in Little Hope is safe while you still draw breath, Joseph. Carver: You must die today. Carver: Not even your wife Amy was spared your lust to serve Satan! Joseph: Damn me if you must. Joseph: You're not fit to speak ill of my late wife! Carver: There is still fight in you! Carver: I must drive the devil out for the safety of everyone here. Joseph: No one is safe! Carver: Joseph, do you renounce the devil and all his teachings? Joseph: I carry no sin… I'm no disciple… of the devil. Joseph: Our town is infected with madness, bought here by… Satan's servant… Mary! Carver: Look! Carver: There can be no more doubting… this is witch craft! Carver: More stones! Carver: The devil must be crushed from within him! Carver: Do not flinch! Carver: The fate of Little Hope rests in your hands.

Scene fourteen Joseph, carver(do nothing) Carver: No one in Little Hope is safe while you still draw breath, Joseph. Carver: You must die today. Carver: Not even your wife Amy was spared your lust to serve Satan! Joseph: Damn me if you must. Joseph: You're not fit to speak ill of my late wife! Carver: There is still fight in you! Carver: I must drive the devil out for the safety of everyone here. Joseph: No one is safe! Carver: Joseph, do you renounce the devil and all his teachings? Joseph: I carry no sin… I'm no disciple… of the devil. Joseph: Our town is infected with madness, bought here by… Satan's servant… Mary! Joseph: Fool! Can you not see she'll take you all? One… by one… Carver: See how this poor child is tormented! Carver: Joseph still clutches her with the devil's hand! Carver: More stones! Carver: The devil must be crushed from within him! Carver: Do not flinch! Carver: The fate of Little Hope rests in your hands.

Scene fifteen Mary, Abraham, wyman, carver Mary: He knows I was about to confess all to the Judge. Mary: Will you protect me? You must… Carver: I assure all gathered here today that our town will be free of the Devil's grasp. Carver: Together by God's Grace Little Hope will prevail. My word on it! Wyman: This court is hastily convened but with good reason. Wyman: If we are to finally rid ourselves of the evil which has infested Little Hope, then we must act today. Wyman: I accuse you, Mary, of witchcraft! Wyman: What say you Reverend? Carver: The evidence, as discovered through my investigation, is beyond question. Carver: Mary uses her poppet as a familiar to summon and serve the Devil! Wyman: We have been deceived by a child, by her guise of innocence. Wyman: This poppet, was mistakenly used to denounce Tabitha. Wyman: But it has always belonged to Mary alone. Wyman: She allowed her own kin to be executed as she watched in silence. Mary: That is not so! Liar! Carver: Now this tainted creature of Satan has the marrow to accuse me Carver: - a man of God - of wrongdoing! Mary: It was never my intention to bring harm to this town, or it's people. Mary: Can you not help me? Carver: Now in her hour of greatest need, this child of the damned pleads once more for the Devil's help

Scene fifteen(blame carver) Abraham: Wait! Abraham: I beg the court's indulgence. Abraham: Please guide me at this time, I seek your council. Abraham: We have been swayed by malice. Abraham: The truth hidden from us, but not by Mary. Abraham: Reverend Carver is the one urging us to believe in the Devil. Carver: Be silent! Abraham: This is all his doing. Carver: Do not deceive us any longer! Carver: Your true purpose is plain to see! Carver: I will see this town purged of all evil! Abraham: What must I do to bring Little Hope back into the light? Abraham: I know what must be done here. Carver: Be still! What is the meaning of this outrage? Wyman: What I have just learned sickens me to my core. Wyman: There are serious questions which must be asked of you. Wyman: How can a 'man of God' conduct himself in such a way? Wyman: Mary, your suffering is at an end. Wyman: You are free to leave. Carver: Fools! Misled by a child! Carver: Do you not see what she is? Carver: The truth stares at you from the depths of hell yet you see nothing! Carver: The devil's daughter has deceived you all! Not me! Carver: I see her! I see her!! Carver: Satan's whore! You will pay heavily for your crimes. Carver: I was one of the first to fall under your spell. Carver: Now all of Little Hope is mesmerized by you. Mary: I have not the words. Without you I would be dead. Mary: You saved me, I shall remember you all my days.

Scene fifteen(blame the doll) Abraham: Wait! Abraham: I beg the court's indulgence. Abraham: Please guide me at this time, I seek your council. Abraham: There can be no doubt that Little Hope is afflicted. Abraham: That darkness has taken hold of our town. Carver: There is not a man, or woman, here today who does not already know the Devil is in our midst. Carver: The sole purpose of this court is to remove evil, not indulge it further. Carver: Our time is not for wasting. Abraham: How do I make my decision? Abraham: If I am wrong I condemn an innocent to die… Abraham: The poppet must be cast asunder. Abraham: It is the cause of Mary's affliction. It holds her in its thrall. Abraham: Destroy this poppet and the devil will depart Mary. Abraham: She will be restored, an innocent child. Wyman: Reverend, burn the poppet. Destroy it! Carver: We must not act in haste. Carver: The girl must face the full consequences of her deeds… Wyman: My authority is not for questioning. Do as I ask.

Scene fifteen(blame Mary) Abraham: Wait! Abraham: I beg the court's indulgence. Abraham: Please guide me at this time, I seek your council. Abraham: There can be no doubt that Little Hope is afflicted. Abraham: That darkness has taken hold of our town. Carver: There is not a man, or woman, here today who does not already know the Devil is in our midst. Carver: The sole purpose of this court is to remove evil, not indulge it further. Carver: Our time is not for wasting. Abraham: How do I make my decision? Abraham: If I am wrong I condemn an innocent to die… Mary: Traitor! Go and leave me be! Mary: Abraham ignore his words, he is no friend to us. Carver: She pleads with her evil spirits! Carver: What more evidence of guilt does the court require?! Wyman: The sentence I must pass is for the good of the town and all who live here. Wyman: There is no other way to rid us if the evil you have brought. Wyman: Mary you will be taken from this court and burned at the stake as a heretic and witch. Mary: This is how you care for me? Mary: You are no different to any of the others! Wyman: The sentence to be carried out immediately! Wyman: We cannot risk further attempts from the devil to rescue his disciple. Mary: No! Mary: This is all on your head! Carver: Eternal damnation awaits you 'Sister of Satan'. Carver: You will roast in the fires of Hell

@kassiekolchek22 @delurkr @tatjana-fantasy @blubary @tinynightmarewoman @wacem @ctrvpani @unhingedlesbear

(my brain is liquefied and I can't rightly judge who would want to be tagged into this lol)

I'm curious about anyone actually reading this start to finish tho 😅

[amarguerite]

First sentence for fic:

The sunshine had seemed deceptively inviting, but the strong breeze and sea spray were still unpleasantly cold.

This sparked a little coda to my Northanger Abbey/ It Happened One Night mash-up:

The sunshine had seemed deceptively inviting, but the strong breeze and sea spray were still unpleasantly cold. It was not quite the French Riviera Catherine had seen in the pictures or read about in glossy photo spreads but she was here and the Mediterranean was right there and she was morally certain that too much time had already passed. The two of them must meet. She defiantly put down her towel on one of the many empty chairs adorning the beach in front of the Hotel de Loiselle.

“It really was so good of you and Bill to invite me,” Catherine said to Eleanor through teeth that only chattered a little.

Eleanor, still wearing a wonderfully daring cape and broad-brimmed hat over her Cubist bathing costume, lowered her sunglasses to critically eye the waves. “Of course, darling! It was the very least we could do after all you’ve done for us. But perhaps we ought to rest up in the rooms and try the beach tomorrow? After all, it was your first time up in Bill’s plane and that can be such a horrid trial—“

Though Catherine had spent most of the flight trying not to be sick into her best hat (who knew planes went so high or flew so fast?) she was determined not to waste her first ever day outside of England’s green and pleasant land. “They always are sending people to the seaside for their health in old books. I am sure if I go and bathe I shall feel perfectly fine.”

“Do let me know if you change your mind,” Eleanor said dubiously, before arranging herself on a chair and taking out a very thick novel with one of those modernist covers where everyone depicted on the front was made up of colored polygons. (Catherine wished her joy of it but was internally very glad she had picked up Did the Butler Do It? from the lending library.) Cartherine sat down herself, to unbuckle her sandals and try to wriggle her way out of the white and Nile green one piece beach pajamas that the advertisement had assured her had caused Florida to go wild. The contrasting cross-strap back that had seemed so darling in the illustration had been tricky to button in the hotel room mirror and was now proving somewhat impossible to unbutton. Catherine glanced over at Eleanor, but she was so deeply absorbed in her book she was smiling gleefully at the pages.

Eleanor had been really so sweet already— whisking Catherine away to France for her birthday and providing her with luxurious room and board— Catherine hated to interrupt her. But all the same…

This did not seem like the sort of tangle from which she could extract herself. Catherine had a more-or-less accurate understanding of her abilities at this point, as well as the fact that life as depicted in books or magazines or the pictures was often exaggerated, but it was very hard to let go of that vision of herself tossing off her oh-so-trendily-American one piece and dashing into the ocean with a flick of her curls and a gay laugh upon her perfectly lipsticked lips. Catherine engaged in a series of trying-to-be-discreet contortions that did not help at all, and only resulted in someone— probably another hotel guest— pausing behind her.

“In a jam darling?” asked— oh that was no passerby! She knew that voice.

“Henry!” Catherine shrieked in mad delight. She rocketed up from her chair and flung her arms about his neck, not able to take in all the wonderful facts of him all at once. His aftershave was the same, his arm about her (bare arm!) felt as cozy as ever, his laugh still rang so wonderfully in her ear— what bliss! Catherine nearly kissed him, but remembered in the nick of time that Eleanor was right there. Catherine settled for beaming up at him. “Henry! Henry, you darling! How on earth— you weren’t in Bill’s plane! How did you get here?”

Henry said, impishly, “Would you believe me if I said the bus?”

“How could a bus cross the channel?” Catherine demanded.

“Alright, an aeroplane and then a train and then a bus,” said Henry.

“Frightfully glad you made it, Henry,” said Eleanor. She kept her book open but turned to smile at him. “Bill and I were beginning to despair! You were supposed to surprise Cathy when we got in.”

Henry sighed. “Eleanor, you would not believe everything that happened to me on the way here—“

“I’ve heard that one,” teased Eleanor.

“Oh Henry, will you go in with me?” Catherine interrupted, too excited for tales of travel delay. “Only, my button in the back—“

“At least I don’t need a lock pick to get you out of this one,” said Henry. But he unbuttoned her with alacrity, tossed aside his own shirt and took her by the hand. “Come now Catherine— shall we brave the elements?”

“Let’s!” she cried, and together they raced into the surf, with all the elan and laughter Catherine could have hoped for (… even if it was so cold that as soon as they rushed in, they immediately left it.)

[three--rings]

Car Accidents for Writers and/or The Curious

So two days ago (as of first writing it's now been two weeks) I was in a major car accident at highway speed. Luckily, I'm mostly okay, my car protected me and only my heel is broken. But going through that was an experience and a very weird and foreign one so I wanted to write it down, especially for any writers depicting car crashes.

So first of all I was driving a brand new 2023 Kia Forte. A car with lots of technical bells and whistles, full modern safety everything. Thank god, although it was only 3 months old, it probably saved me from further injury.

So what happened immediately before the crash is what I'm most hazy about in my mind. I remember seeing the car on the left, it was at a crossroads where my highway traffic doesn't stop, but the crossroad traffic does. So I THINK the other car was stopped at the intersection when I first saw him, but honestly I am not sure. I saw the car, it was heading for the space in front of me, and I had time to think "he's gonna see me and stop right...what the FUCK" --impact.

(Edit: Two weeks later - Upon thinking more about it, I think that I saw him start to move but thought he was surely turning right, because he wouldn't go straight when I was right there. It would have been perfectly legal for him to turn right then. But then by the time I realized he wasn't turning and was coming right for the space in front of me...it was too late to do anything.)

Rest of the post cut for EXTREME Length as well as accident details and medical details of the ER trip both of which could be triggering. Nothing bad or gory or anything, just, some people might not want to read them.

I think I may have actually been yelling WHAT THE FUCK as I hit him. It felt like I had a split second to hit the brake, which was not nearly enough time to accomplish something. In that I did hit the brake but it barely slowed me before I hit. I was traveling around 70 mph (which is the speed limit there).

So the impact. All I remember is sudden whiteness blocking my view, along with the force, something impacting me in the face. I had a split second where I thought "Okay this is it, this is real, I might be about to die." (Note: I was also able to accurately report where on the car I hit (rear passenger door) but not the type of car. I said sedan, but it was a minivan. I said white, it was silver.)

Oh and right as the impact happened, as I saw the door of the car I was about to hit, right before the airbag popped, I had the thought/sensation of "wait, no, do it again, wait rewind, wait, reload the game." It was the sensation that I, as a gamer, have when I fuck up in a video game. The instinct that has you reach for the pause button or the reload button or whatever. That's what I felt, except of course it was real life and I couldn't try that again.

So the air bag popped and blocked all of my view, so I suddenly had no idea where I was, which way I was headed, etc. Except the car was still moving, my foot was probably/possibly still on the brake and my hands were I think still on the wheel. (All of this, I don't really know for sure.) Probably not still steering, but I feel like I was? IDK.

The next thing I knew I felt a second impact as my car hit a metal pole with a highway sign on it, shearing it off entirely. I saw the sign fly past my car through whatever gap was visible to the upper left side past the airbag. So I knew what I had hit. After that I was on grass and the car came to a pretty quick stop. (note this car also has auto-braking when it senses something in front of you, but obviously it couldn't stop itself fast enough either. )

So the car stopped and I was sitting there and my first thought was "okay I have to get out of the car." I could smell smoke and oil/fluidy smells and my car was making a bunch of weird sounds so I was scared it might catch on fire or whatever. So I reached under the side airbag which was blocking the top half of the door and opened my car door, which opened fine. I undid my seatbelt and grabbed for my phone from it's place on the center console under the dash. I knew in my dazed brain that my phone was Important. I needed to Call Someone? Maybe 911? Maybe my husband?

So, clutching my phone in a death grip (not thinking about taking anything else) I crawled under the side airbag and basically fell out of the car onto the grass.

Immediately upon trying to get out I knew my right ankle was hurt. I've had a lot of ankle sprains in my life and I looked down and saw it starting to swell and knew I couldn't stand on it.

Pretty much immediately, or within seconds there were people there. There was a gas station on the corner so either they were there or they were stopped at the intersection waiting to turn going the opposite direction from me. (God I've just thought I could have easily hit them if I'd gone left instead of right. . . that was lucky.)

The two people who arrived, who had witnessed it were a black man and a white woman, I can vaguely picture them, though couldn't pick them out of a lineup fyi. They kept offering to help me up and I told them no, my ankle is hurt, I can't stand. They asked if anyone was in the car and needed help and I said no. As new people arrived I heard them tell new people that no one was trapped. I guess I was vaguely aware that there was a second car also stopped, but I filed that under Someone Else's Problem and focused on me.

Oh wait, I've just remembered I think I was standing on one foot, holding onto the door at first, when the woman came up and asked if I was hurt. Because I was brushing off my front...so here we get into weird details okay. So I was wearing a steel boned corset under my clothes that I always wear when I go out, for back support. It's custom made by me. And I noticed right away that the impact had bent the front busk of the corset. This is a heavy duty steel busk, extra wide, so it's almost 2.5" wide piece of heavy steel. And instead of my stomach impacting the steering wheel or WHATEVER, it bent it up to almost a 90 degree angle.

So I was noticing that, but also, I thought I might be on fire. I was very HOT. My clothes were hot to the touch, the front of my dress felt like it had almost been singed. I kept touching and checking myself to make sure I wasn't on fire anywhere because of how hot my clothes felt. I assume this is from the air bags and the force of the impact and the explosions that send them out...IDK. But yeah I was hot. So I kept touching my stomach and clothes and people kept asking if I was hurt and I said "No, I don't think so, just my ankle."

At first, though, I couldn't form words. People were asking if I was okay and I couldn't answer. I think maybe I nodded. So my responses were probably more like Yes and No and "Ankle" than I remember. I just remember some serious floaty, disconnected, stunned mindset where I couldn't make words right. Lasted maybe less than a minute or a minute or two, not sure.

Basically I laid on the ground and just breathed and tried to chill for a few minutes, responding as people came up and asked me things. I think I repeated a couple of times "he just drove right in front of me..." and witnesses backed me up, saying they were there and saw the whole thing and yeah he just drove right out in front of me.

Throughout this, the surreal thing was that my car was still running and still playing my music. So poppy Janelle Monae was playing from my car. I finally was able to coordinate enough to pause Spotify on my phone so it stopped. I asked one of the bystanders if he could turn my car off with the on/off button because I was worried about it.

A state trooper arrived fairly quickly and came over and asked me first if I was hurt and if anyone else was in the car. I told him about my ankle and no. He said "okay you just sit there [on the grass] that's probably the best place for you. EMS is on their way, should be a few minutes." To which I nodded. He then asked me for my ID. I told him it was in my purse which he fetched from inside the car and handed to me to find my wallet and pull out my ID. He asked me for my basic version of the accident, which I was pretty vague about "I was driving and he just pulled right in front of my car and I only had a split second to brake."

He asked which direction I was traveling, how fast I was going. When I hesitated over that answer he said "highway speed?" and I said "yeah, 70-75." I was slightly worried about admitting I was technically speeding to a cop, but he just nodded and was very chill about everything, so I wasn't TOO worried. He asked a little more after a couple minutes like which direction the other car was coming from and which lane I was in." Then he said he was going to talk to the other driver. At which point I remembered there was another human being involved and I asked if they were okay and he said yeah seems like it, they're just a little queasy from the seatbelt.

So from where I was on the grass and not moving, basically I was sitting in the V formed by my car and the open driver door, so I couldn't see the other car and had literally no idea about the other driver, couldn't have told you their gender or race or anything. I never saw them. (Later the police gave us their details and it seems to be a man, but their name and city is literally all I know.)

At this point I was starting to feel more together. I had been playing with my phone, trying to call my husband. But for a while I couldn't make my fingers find how to call him. And then I did it, but the call wouldn't go through. I was in a fairly isolated area with poor cell coverage, it's basically in the middle of a bunch of fields of corn and cotton and shit. So I was calling but not hearing anything on the line. And meanwhile people kept talking to me and the car was honking nonstop. Even after I got him to turn off the car, it was still making honking car alarm noises. Like yes car, I know you are in distress but please shut the fuck up.

I texted my husband instead. He was texting me by then because he could hear when I called him and he knew something was WRONG. So here are the texts. It's pretty funny.

Cat totaled. Of course I didn't have my glasses so I couldn't see anything very well. I had been wearing sunglasses with bifocal reading glasses in them but they were uh, removed by the airbag. No idea what happened to them. He called me thankfully and that call worked so I told him where I was and that I was okay except for my ankle, etc. Of course I'm like the car, the poor car our new car is totaled and he's like fuck the car are YOU okay, etc.

Also when I exited the car, the witnesses kept telling me I was bleeding on my lips. I touched them and could tell my bottom lip was split. So I was like, yeah it's okay just my lip. Presumably from the impact with the airbag. It's cut on the inside from my teeth and still very swollen and in my way.

So I pulled my backup sunglasses from my purse and put them on to block the sun and laid back in the grass to chill. What sucked was that this is Texas and the grass had ants and they were crawling on me, but what could I do. I looked behind me and there was only more grass with car shrapnel and the highway which didn't look more comfortable to sit on. I asked the officer to get my tote bag out of my car, the bag with my dnd stuff which had a water bottle and can of coke in it. He got it but the coke can was totally dented and I couldn't open it. So I drank the water very gratefully because I was super thirsty.

oh and about this time the cop gave me a long speech about "You should drink a lot of water tonight and try to do some moving around because you're going to be sore and being in a car accident releases a ton of lactic acid into your body like you did a very strenuous workout...etc. " I basically just nodded and was like yeah i'm gonna be really sore.

At this point I figured I just had a sprained ankle and I would go to the er and they would check me out and I'd get an ACE bandage and be fine basically. I realized that the injury was from me trying to brake, standing on the brake and when the impact happened all that force transferred directly into my almost straight leg.

So the ambulance arrived and they came and asked the same questions. They had a bunch of people come to help get me to the stretcher. Basically they grabbed my arms and shoulders and pulled me backwards, telling me to push myself with my good leg. So I did that with them holding me up until we got to the stretcher and I sat down and swung myself around and was strapped down and lifted into the ambulance. They asked me if I had a preference for hospitals to go to and I told them the name of the big hospital nearby which I know our insurance works with because one of my doctors is there.

Then they just started asking me a bunch of medical questions about medications and conditions which I basically had to simplify, leaving out some of the minor things I have going on. Like I didn't mention depression or the antidepressant I take. I only told him some of my meds for my back. Not sure why, it just seemed like I needed to get important things across only.

He asked about where I hurt and I at that point told him about my shoulder hurting in addition to my ankle. He also told me about how bad that intersection is for accidents and how he'd been out there about an hour before for another (more minor) one and we talked about whether they needed to install a light there.

He was really nice and I liked him. I sent a text to my dnd chat while riding that told them I wouldn't be at the game. In the ambulance they checked my vitals and also took my blood sugar which I thought was kinda weird. I guess it's just standard.

We got to the ER and as they wheeled me through I heard the people saying "trauma 2, trauma 2 in room whatever, the trauma is here." So I realized that was me and they were treating me like a Serious Patient and not just an ankle. As I was rolled into the room a veritable swarm of people came with me and pulled me from the stretcher to the bed, bringing a lot of grass and dirt with me, by the way, which no one but me seemed to notice (And the nurse later).

Then they were trying to get my clothes off and a young man approached me with surgical scissors and said "Okay we're just gonna cut this off you" and I was like "No, please, can you not, I just finished sewing this!" and thankfully they were like well let's try. I was already like, I can do this, and pulling up my dress and wiggling. They probably didn't want me moving myself that much, but fuckit, I spent months on that dress I didn't want it ruined. (It ended up torn about an inch down at the neckline and has a couple inch long tear in the skirt from either me crawling out of the car or them pulling me to the stretcher.)

Oh and I had to tell them "I'm wearing a back support corset under here so it will be weird" but they were like "that's no problem" and they just reached down and pried the busk apart, (with me sucking in to help them) and pulling it free. So that was one anxiety gone. So anyway, they finally got the dress and all my shirts off while they pulled my bra free also. It's definitely weird having a swarm of people you can't really see grab you and start tearing off your clothes. I wasn't feeling at all worried about being exposed or anything, my only concern was for my clothes. Finally I was naked except for my underwear and they put a gown over me.

And then hooked up a bunch of wires and stuff. The EMT had started an IV in my hand but not given me anything. They also didn't give me anything yet, though I THOUGHT they'd hooked me up to saline or something but turned out no.

Then I talked to the doctor and repeated all my pains. They were like okay we'll get xrays and check you out all over. So they did the xrays in the bed and I had a really hard time moving my foot/ankle the way they wanted because I was like "I can't move it" and they were like, but okay flex more and I'm like "I can't." And then turn it to the side and I'm like, uh, it's not moving. And finally I had to like turn my whole body to the side to get the position they wanted.

Then they took blood and mostly left and there was one nurse left. "Can I have some water?" I asked, my most pressing concern because I was DYING of thirst. She was like "uh we have to wait and ask the doctor." And then a little while later she was like "is there anything I can get you?" and I'm like "again, water?" and she's like okay lemme go check.

So I finally got water and I asked the lady taking my blood if she could hand me my phone from my purse. So I had my phone hurray although I still had no glasses and couldn't see. But my texts showed my husband was outside so I asked if he could come back and they said sure. It still took a little while but they finally came and asked me again if family could come back and I said yes and then there he was.

Obviously that was a huge relief because I could ask him for stuff from my purse like my glasses. And we mostly just talked and looked at stuff on our phones while waiting for results. So finally the doctor comes back and is like so okay actually you have a broken heel bone and we're going to put you in a splint for now and then you will follow up with an orthopedist. And he did that and that was pretty painful. By this point they'd given me something in my IV that was helping with the pain but still having them try to force my foot upright was super painful.

Then they said they needed a urine sample and the nurse was like do you want to try a bed pan or me to do a catheter. And I'm like I guess bed pan. Which, I didn't know, is basically just a hard plastic bowl that you sit on and the edges dig into your butt and thighs. And she tries to explain how to go and I'm like okay I'll try but I totally failed. Because I was still massively dehydrated. I'm like "if you'd given me more water like I asked, I might be doing better at this." Finally they started me on IV fluids and I got my husband to get me my water bottle. Then they did a catheter except they still couldn't get urine and they did it a second time with a better nurse and finally they made me laugh and that made some come out so they made me keep laughing until they got enough of a sample. So I'm definitely making the nurse stories for that one.

By the way, did the catheter hurt. Yeah, a little. It feels like what you'd expect. It's pokey and doesn't feel good, but once it's in you can't feel it. Also I was told my "anatomy" made it easy to see what they were doing which, I'm like is that a compliment on my pussy or what?

Anyway after that it was just waiting waiting waiting. They were checking for damage to my kidneys or I guess other indicators through blood tests because they came back to draw more blood twice.

Finally like five hours after the wreck they let me go. And gave me very little information about anything, actually I could complain a lot about the way the ER handled things but like that's not the point here.

We were both obviously starving because we hadn't eaten so we had to drive through the only thing open which was a 24 hour mcdonalds.

They didn't give us crutches, just told me to use them, so we had some from when my husband was in a car wreck and wheelchair bound for months. So he had to go in the house and find those and bring them out to me. Our door is very far from the driveway so I had a long way to go on crutches and it was very difficult given my pain situation and how my shoulder and ribs on the right side hurt. So once I finally got to the door he got a rolling chair that I sat on and he wheeled me to the bedroom.

That night once the meds they gave me in the ER wore out I was in terrible terrible pain. I'm a chronic pain patient on an opioid patch and it was insane. Ten on the pain scale. I wont go into too much detail but god I wanted to die or like, just cut my foot off. I took pretty much anything I could to try to help the pain, after some quick interactions googling. And took an edible we had and that was what finally let me get any sleep about 5 in the morning once it kicked in.

It's now two weeks later and...what is recovery from a crash like that like? Well it sucks honestly. I got very lucky in my injuries but the broken heel is way more painful that I would have imagined, sometimes radiating pain all the way up my leg to the crotch. And worse than that has been the rest of my body that didn't get diagnosed with any injuries but obviously went through major trauma.

My ribs have been very sore in a couple different places, making it difficult to move, sit up, lay on one side, reach for things, laugh or cough. And I pulled something in my right shoulder though they didn't see any damage on x-rays but it's taken two weeks to start to feel like I can use my right arm much or move it without terrible pain.

I've spent most of my time on pretty heavy meds, thanks to my pain doctor, but still all the time I've been massively uncomfortable. And trying to do anything is really difficult because I have to use weird muscles to pull myself up to standing or whatever without putting weight on my right foot, and then those muscles have gotten sore. It was about two days after the accident I reached peak Body Pain, after trying to get around on crutches with an injured/bruised ribs and messed up shoulder. I got to the point I couldn't get myself up to go to the bathroom on my own at all. Thankfully then I got a kneeling scooter thing which is an absolute requirement for getting around in this state.

So yeah today is two weeks and I feel like I'm just starting to get back to almost normal functioning, except for my broken foot. Taking meds less often, and then only because the foot starts throbbing. (Did you know heels are very painful things to break? Neither did I? I'm lucky I don't need surgery because frequently this injury can cripple you if you don't have surgery.)

Anyway, I don't know if anyone will have read all this, but I feel like it's worth documenting the experience. I was originally going to post this within the first few days of the accident but then the real bad effects started kicking in and then uh, there was the Lahaina thing. (My closest family lives there. They are safe along with their house but...my little tragedy didn't feel important in the face of that.)

At any rate, please drive safely, this experience sucks and I don't recommend it.

[archivalofsins]

Hey, how ya feeling? How's your mood? Nobody asked but it's somewhere between sick and tired. If you're wondering. Oh, or it's always some level of this in the background at all times.

Like I have a bone to pick with Caligula Effect 2 for the emotional damage it hit me with right from the gate and with Sasara and Machina's stories in particular.

As someone who has constantly had to reckon with the concept of mortality since they were born- This narrative seemed incredibly mishandled in comparison to everything else. You have the other go home club members and the musicians' problems and these two are just over here reckoning with the existential dread that comes with knowing you are going to die.

One of them one day soon and the other who knows when. I was playing this and talking to Sasara during her like dive deeper and when I said I understood where she was coming from I wasn't trying to be fucking nice I genuinely understood where she was coming from. I was born with seriously bad asthma I learned that I can die literally directly after I learned words because it was explained to me I could when I understood words.

In order to explain why yeah you need to sleep with this breathing machine on, why, because if you don't you have a high chance of your breathing ceasing in your sleep and you die, what's that, it's when you stop existing don't worry it happens to everyone. I spent the first seven years of my life going to sleep with the lingering idea of death over my head. It is not comparable to the other issues displayed here.

Having the game start off on that for people with experiences like mine gives this impression of seriousness that the rest of the story fails to properly deliver on that ultimately comes off belittling to the fact that the concept was brought up at all. Song is amazing as hell but I wanted to punch this game in the face when Sasara had the audacity to ask Machina if he was over his fear of death.

I literally said no he's not because that's not how that fucking works but he at least probably knows he wants to live, and he can't remain in constant fear of death while trying to do that. Like I understand wanting to rush towards death and met a fulfilling end on your own terms instead of just waiting for it to happen one day as Sasara continually does throughout two, I understand being afraid of the sometimes slow and sadly at times very quick demise an degradation of everything around you.

I understand this quite well. Yet having that compared that very ever present and life freezing fear and wait for the inevitable brough up right before going into a story about idols and burnout. That's a jarring shift in tone. One of these people is having a fucking existential crisis at their first run in with death and the other is bitter over an asshole idol.

I know everyone's struggles are different but it's very demeaning. Then they even have Machina pseudo die in the plot the thing he was most afraid of happening and it kind of plays this off as humorous while I'm just here like bet. It isn't lost on me that it took a near death experience for him to realize he wanted to live and there were in fact a lot of things he wants to do with his life. Yet...literally no one else here had to face their fears at all.

So, it's kind of weird this was put in to what? Fuck with people who actually share this fear that shit was wild. I was just was shocked into silence it was like I know you're treating this seriously yet at the same time is this a fucking joke to you kept running through my mind given my own experiences. It wouldn't have been wild if his near death experience made him even more afraid. It's good it didn't but still.

It was a mix of I understand but I'm soooo angry right now you wouldn't believe. It was like accurate depictions but fuck you. It was like decent but if given the choice between accepting this as fine or burning the code of this game with a flamethrower out of spite I'd choose the latter. Well, that just means he properly depicted the trauma and recognized everyone's struggles would be different and included various different struggles to better highlight a wider group of people. This was pretty inclusive.

That's not bad writing, that's a good thing. Yeah, you're right. That's why the game is good. People should play it.

However, it's important to recognize that the overarching theme of Caligula Effect 2 is death. Coming to terms with it and the many ways it can happen. Be it through one's own will, murder, natural causes, or happenstance. From that standpoint starting with Sasara and Machina makes thematic sense. However, it can dampen the stakes in every other instance after. Making them come off to some players as petty arguments that honestly did not need to happen at points if one were to compare those parts in isolation.

From insulting someone else's attempts at art, to arguing about idol culture- Never really picking back up that severity until like Shota's area and the choice with Marie. In comparison to dealing with the reality of one's mortality, deciding whether or not to die to make sure all of your friends can get out of here safely or tough it out with the unknown (Marie), to deciding to end your own life due to all the responsibilities and pressures thrusted upon you by others and society along with a lack of support (Regret).

I can thematically understand something and be like this was not it this theme at times felt really disconnected from the rest of the story and own a personal level offended me. I can also recognize a personal issue as a personal issues.

None of this makes this a bad game. It's a good game. It has good writing and characters. This just means my experience with it was ultimately impacted by my own relation to the theme of the work outside of the work itself. Now for all I know they expected and hoped people with that particular issue would play the game and learn something from it.

However, I'm at a point where I'm comfortable saying that lesson simply was not meant for me. I was at a point in my life where that would be counterproductive and most of what it set out to teach was something I already knew. Song is still amazing though. But like man it was an experience...