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#the more you think about it the harder it is to explain
themultifanshipper · 3 days
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Do you think you could do something like this
https://www.tumblr.com/themultifanshipper/759431110157631488/quiet-innocent-reader-x-lando-like-lando-finds
Maybe with Oscar ( love your writing)
If Oscar had to describe your sex life in one word : Vanilla.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that! God knows how much the two of you enjoyed the sex you had. You weren’t very experienced when you met Oscar, and you were quite a shy person.
Which is why Oscar was so shocked when he found what appeared to be a list of your kinks just sitting there when he got up to make his morning coffee.
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Fun fact, this request was sent over a month ago, and i only have a couple more to do before i can get to my own stuff lmao
Warnings: innocent reader, Smut, PinV sex, rough sex, dirty talk, mention of lots of kinks n stuff
He hadn’t meant to get a glimpse into the inner workings of your sexual psyche, but really, who leaves something like that on the kitchen counter???
As he read it over and over again, his cock twitched in interest and got progressively harder until he put it down, the words seared onto his brain forever.
He tried to have a cold shower but just ended up jerking off furiously to completion imagining doing all the things from your list.
But as soon as he got out of the shower and dried off, he realized he was still achingly hard. He decided to put on a pair of his loosest joggers and go about his day while he waited for you to come back from work.
It wasn’t easy, but he managed to answer a whole two emails, internally debating the moral implications of communicating with his bosses while sporting an erection.
Then he jerked off again.
It did take the edge off for a bit, but every time he thought about it during the day he couldn’t help but fist his cock at the thought of all your filthy fantasies.
When you got home, you didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary, and you did your usual routine: shower, skincare, dinner with a glass of wine, followed by watching something with Oscar, the two of you huddled up together on the couch.
That’s when you started noticing Oscar’s behaviour.
It was very subtle, but you could tell he wasn’t at all focused on the movie, periodically fidgeting around uncharacteristically. Oscar was usually very settled, and tonight it was like he couldn’t keep still for more than 30 seconds. You also noticed his breathing was irregular, often getting shallower as he fidgeted.
Oscar couldn’t care less about what was happening on the screen, his brain was focused on the same thing it had been all day, that damn list.
And he’d been hard all day, which certainly didn’t help his internal crisis.
“Oscar” you sighed, pausing the movie “Talk to me, tell me what’s going on with you tonight”
“Nothing’s wrong, why would there be something wrong?” his mouth said, but his flushed cheeks were proof that he was hiding something.
If looks could kill, the one you gave him would have certainly done the trick.
“I… full honesty?” he asked quietly.
You nodded “Full honesty”
He closed his eyes and sighed. “Okay, but you can’t get mad at me”
You narrowed your eyes at him “That’s not a promise I can make, but I’ll do my best”
He bit his lip before taking your hands in his.
“I uh… I found your list”
You just stared at him. “What list?”
“This one…” he took the piece of paper out of his pocket where it had been burning a metaphorical hole in his hip ever since he’d found it.
He handed it to you, but you didn’t need to unfold it to know what it was. I was a bright pink piece of paper that had been ripped out of your diary the night before.
You completely froze, panic overtaking you.
“Oh my god. Oscar…” You couldn’t look him in the eyes as you tried to explain “you weren’t meant to find that I’m so sorry! I was going to throw it away this morning and I guess I put it down and completely forgot about it. Fuck- please don’t think I’m weird or whatever and just forget about it, okay? Please?”
You put your head in your hands and whined in distress. This couldn’t be happening. Your loving boyfriend had just learned about your depraved fantasies, and he was never going to see you the same way again.
“I can’t forget about it baby, I spent the entire day jerking off about it”
You head snapped up to finally look into his eyes, your jaw hanging in disbelief. You could tell he was dead serious and your gaze slowly trailed downwards towards his pants, where you could tell he was hard, then back up to his face to find him biting his lip so hard it was turning white.
“you-  what?”
“Sweetheart, I got so hard when I read it, I almost got in my car to come and get you from work. I want to do every thing on that list with you” he leaned closer to you and whispered “Every. Single. Thing.”
His arm wrapped around you and pulled you closer to him, lips coming to brush against your neck. “especially number 3…”
You glanced at the list, seeing what he was referring to and gasped.
“Oscar!”
He chuckled into the crook of your neck.
“Who knew you were so dirty, hmm? Where have you been hiding all this time?”
“I- I didn’t know how to ask” you stuttered as he nipped at the skin of your shoulder.
“That right? Well ask me now, then” he said and you frowned in confusion.
“What?”
“Ask me. Go down the list, and ask me to do those things to you…”
His lips trailed down your body and his hands pushed you to lay down on the sofa as you spluttered in confusion. “I don’t- what?”
“What’s the first thing on the list?” he asked, he knew of course, but he needed to hear you say it.
You blushed, checking the list.
“Choking…”
“Then ask me to choke you”
You shuddered as his mouth continued downwards and his hands spread your legs, one of them pushing your flimsy pyjama shorts to the side to expose you to him.
“Oscar what-“
“I want to see how wet you get just from saying it, go on then.” He ordered and you keened as a finger dipped through your barely moist folds.
“I want you… to uhm” your blush deepened and Oscar smiled at you condescendingly.
“Go on baby, you can do it”
You gulped.
“I want you to choke me” you squeezed your eyes shut at the admission, but Oscar was having none of it.
“Now fucking look at me and ask me again”
You gasped and your eyes flew open to look at him.
“I want you to choke me!”
“Good girl” he stroked your thigh “Next thing?”
You glanced at the list still clutched tightly in you hands.
“Spanking.”
Oscar cocked his head to the side. “What about spanking?”
Your jaw clenched, the fucker knew how to get what he wanted.
“I want you to spank me”
He smiled and nodded for you to continue.
“I want you to fuck me over the balcony for everyone to see” you said, and Oscar’s pupils dilated as he used his fingers to spread you open for him.
“Yeah? Want everyone to see how fucking filthy you actually are?” You whined as his thumb came to dip inside you briefly before rubbing it in slow circles over your clit.
“I want you to degrade and praise me…”
He felt like he was barely holding on to his sanity at this point.
“That’s so hot, fuck.” He palmed himself through his sweats “You want to be my good girl yeah? Want to be my good little slut? Only thing you’re good for anyway…”
You whimpered, his words making your whole body heat up, and took a deep breath before continuing.
“I want you to fuck my mouth”
He had to grip himself through his pants to ground himself, your words having an enormous effect on his composure.
Where had his sweet little innocent girlfriend gone?
“I’ll fuck your mouth baby, make you fucking drool for it, god you’d look so pretty taking me down your throat”
You were definitely wet now, and he took the liberty of sliding a finger inside you and hooking it upwards just to watch you squirm as he rubbed that special spot inside you.
“I want you to tie me up and force me to take it” you said breathlessly.
The noise he let out at that was animalistic as his wide eyes found yours and his jaw went slack as he pulled his pants down just enough to get a hand around himself.
“You have no idea how hot you’d look all tied up and helpless under me baby, it’s making me so hard just thinking about it..”
You moaned as he added a second finger inside you.
“I want, fuck- I want you to use me, and fill me up with your cum whenever you want”
“Shit.” He hissed “Fuck baby, I’m going to fill you up so good, you'll see…”
“Please”
You hadn’t realised how close you were getting, but Oscar’s expert fingers were making you delirious as you continued.
“I want you to fuck me so hard I can’t walk, want to cry from how good you feel inside me, wanna beg for your cock”
Oscar growled and pulled his fingers out.
“Then beg”
He settled over you, putting his weight on you, his dick resting against your folds as he panted into your mouth.
“Beg for my cock, slut”
You were so fucking turned on. Dominant Oscar was something new, but so, so incredibly hot you would have done absolutely anything to have him inside you at that moment.
“Please, please Osc, I need it. I need your cock so bad, please!”
He growled and slid in to the hilt without warning, making you moan into the heated kiss he was currently giving you to distract you. He was thick and the stretch was delicious as his cock dragged along your walls, making you see stars.
He started a deep, hard pace and his hips slapped against yours, obscene sounds filling the room.
“Fuck baby, so fucking wet for me. This what you wanted all along? For me to fucking ruin you on my cock?”
“Yes, Oscar, fuck!”
He chuckled darkly.
“That’s a good girl, so fucking tight, You’re getting close aren’t you? I can sweet your sweet pussy clenching around me, trying to keep me inside...”
He gripped your hips harder and angled his thrusts upwards, nailing your g-spot, and you were a goner. White spots danced in your vision as the pleasure overcame you, cunt spasming around Oscar.
“Perfect, perfect cunt. And it’s all fucking mine” he growled as he finally spilled inside you, filling you to the brim and forcing a pathetic whimper out of you at the new feeling.
Oscar had never come inside you before, and it was insanely hot. The feeling of your slick, hot walls pulsing around him was pure heaven and he couldn’t wait to test everything on that list.
After you’d regained your breath, you chuckled silently to yourself while stroking Oscar's back.
If this is what you got for leaving your list out, maybe you should tell Oscar about your box of toys in the in the back of your closet…
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nathaslosthershit · 2 days
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Some Bad, But a Whole Lot of Good (LS2)
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Summary: To the fans, it wouldn't be unreasonable to assume the week after his replacement had been hell for newly dropped Logan Sargeant, but to the people who knew him, they weren't worried. Warning: James Vowles slander, a lot of it, I made Logan yell at him because I want to yell at him
Getting fired a week before your first child was born wasn't on anyone's bucket list. But here Logan was.
He was mad- no he was furious. Sure, the past few months with the team have been miserable, but this was the worst timing possible.
"Why now? Why not the two weeks we were off on break?" Logan asks yells. He doesn't lose his cool, at least not like this, not by yelling at his boss.
"Logan, you have to understand we are in between a rock and a hard place. I am truly sorry but it's a difficult time for us-" Vowles begins to explain.
"A difficult time for you? I am about to have a fucking baby, James. Next week! What the fuck am I supposed to do?" He got up and ran his hand through his hair. "You just had a baby a year ago, I would have thought you of all people would have thought this through more."
"Believe me, we have Logan, we have discussed this at length for a long time now."
"Oh fuck you! You have been thinking about this for a long time and choose now to do something about it? God, James, why do you hate me so much? I know I haven't met expectations, I know I have fucked up, but I still have given everything to this team and this is how you end it?" he finally met his boss'- ex boss' now, I guess, stare.
As Logan looked at his team principal, he tried to see any remorse or sincerity in his eyes but just as he had suspected, James' apology was bullshit, completely insincere. He knew this wasn't going anywhere, he didn't even know why he was fighting.
Formula 1 had been the dream for a while. Logan had let himself sacrifice everything he could to achieve it. He tried to tell himself that he had made it and that he was happy, but it wasn't true. He couldn't face the reality of the dream he worked so hard for not being everything he had imagined.
After meetings about contract termination and how they were to proceed, a sad little goodbye party filled with people that were probably thrilled to have him go, and an actually heartfelt apology and goodbye from his teammate and those he worked closely with, the American left the factory for the last time.
The most difficult part of this whole affair? Telling his very pregnant wife that he was now unemployed, a week until their first child's due date.
After tears, cursing a certain British boss' bloodline, and dissociative silence, Logan sat next to his wife as she suddenly burst into laughter.
He was stunned, she was practically doubling over, at least as much as she could in her current condition. The sight so ridiculous given the circumstances that he began to laugh too.
Several minutes were spent laughing until their stomachs hurt and then trying to catch their breath before either one of them could say another word.
"This is such terrible timing!" she said, wiping her eyes as she continued to giggle.
"Could not me a worse time" he replied as he started to laugh even harder.
"God, we shouldn't be laughing at this! We have officially lost our minds"
"Perfect timing too! Just like everything else"
It was ironic, this was the absolute worse scenario Logan could come up with but this was also the hardest he had laughed in a long time. When was the last time he actually laughed? The last time he actually felt joy about anything involving his job?
As if she could sense what he was thinking, she took a few deep breaths, finally calming down, as she said, "This is insane of me to say, but maybe this is a good thing?"
He knew where she was going, he thought the same, but he needed to hear her rationalize it before he agreed.
"I mean, honey, you were miserable. And I am sorry because I did love some of the people on your team but most of them were jackasses! It was such a time commitment and you have spent so long giving everything to them just for the team to spit in your face. Plus, with savings and such, we have enough to be fine for a while, even with the baby. You finally can put your family and yourself first"
She was right, it was time he admitted to himself how much he had hated his job in the past few months. How miserable it made him. How he could hardly enjoy anything in his life because he was always thinking of how to improve, how to show he still has potential even with the shitty car he was given.
"Im sorry. I- its not fair that I spent so long chasing a dead end dream that I couldn't actually enjoy what I do have. I mean, I could never race again and I would be 1000 times happier with out little family then I could ever be in F1. I will never not put you both first again." He said as he looked at her, held the bump, and genuinely got to relish in what was to come.
The first race weekend since Logan was replaced, he wasn't stewing in his misery, he was sitting in the hospital next to his wife, holding his first born, and the last thing on his mind was what was happening anywhere else in the world outside of the room his entire life was currently in.
logansargeant
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liked by alexalbon, jensonbutton, and others
logansargeant New job
user1 hey! so this is insane
user2 unemployment has never looked better
alexalbon This is a crazy way to hard launch fatherhood but good on you, mate!
logansargeant got to keep them guessing
user4 dilf era yes please
oscarpiastri how long is the contract?
logansargeant full time for 18 years, then after there is a bit more leeway, but there is certainly no retirement in my future
user3 replaced right before he had a BABY?! oh that British fuck better watch out
jensonbutton Such a big moment! So happy to see where life takes you, I know it will be great!
A/N: Had to finish this right after the news he is testing for indycar in november dropped!!! U-S-A U-S-A!
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srslyblvck · 1 day
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a dare too far, james potter [ Part II ]
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pairing: james potter x fem!reader
synopsis: james was dared to make you fall in love with him. unknown to him, he was falling for you too. But soon the truth comes out, and you are left heartbroken.
genre: angst
warnings: mentions of y/n, heartbreak
word count: 5.5k [ a/n: what can i say, i lost track lmao ]
part I
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ THE DAYS FOLLOWING YOUR discovery had been a blur of pain and confusion. You had avoided James like the plague, refusing to even look in his direction. Your heart still ached, but your pride and self-respect kept you from falling apart in front of everyone.
It wasn’t long before your friends—Archie, Leonard, Autumn, and Florence—noticed something was wrong. They knew you too well, and your sudden distance from James didn’t go unnoticed. You hadn’t said a word about what had happened, but one afternoon, while you sat with them at lunch, Florence finally broke the silence.
“Y/N,” she began softly, “what happened with James?”
Your fork stilled in your hand, and for a moment, you debated lying. But the weight of it all was too much to bear alone, and with a deep breath, you told them everything. From the dare to your overheard conversation in the library, every heartbreaking detail spilt out. By the time you finished, your friends were fuming.
“He did what?” Archie’s voice was low, dangerous. His fists clenched tightly at his sides, the muscles in his jaw tensing.
Leonard, usually calm and rational, had gone stiff, his face a mask of barely controlled anger. “He was using you… for a stupid dare? Merlin’s beard…”
Autumn reached across the table to grasp your hand, her face a mix of empathy and fury. “That—that is despicable.”
Florence was quieter, but her steely expression said it all. She had always been protective of you, and seeing you hurt had ignited something fierce within her.
Archie was the first to stand, pushing his chair back with a sharp scrape. “Where are they?” he asked, his voice like ice. “Where’s Potter and his pack of idiots?”
You shook your head, reaching out to stop him. “Archie, please—don’t do anything. It’s not worth it.”
But Archie’s mind was made up. “Not worth it? He messed with your heart, Y/N. He hurt you. That’s more than worth it.”
Leonard and Autumn exchanged a glance, and Leonard stood as well, his usually calm face clouded with anger. “He’s not getting away with this.”
“I don’t want you to fight—” you tried again, but Archie had already turned to leave, his face set in grim determination.
“You don’t have to come,” he said, his voice softer now, though still filled with anger. “But I’m not letting this slide.”
Before you could say another word, Archie and the others were already storming out of the Great Hall, leaving you behind. A heavy sense of dread settled over you as you watched them go.
Archie didn’t need long to find them. James and his friends were walking through the hallway just outside the Great Hall, laughing about something Sirius had said, completely unaware of the storm heading their way.
Without warning, Archie charged forward, grabbing James by the front of his robes and slamming him into the stone wall with a loud thud. The sound echoed through the hallway, silencing the students nearby who had been watching.
James let out a grunt of surprise, but before he could say anything, Archie’s fist connected with his jaw in a solid punch. James staggered against the wall, his hand flying to his face as he winced in pain.
“You think you can just mess with her like that?” Archie growled, pinning James to the wall again, his face inches from his. “You think you can just play with her feelings and walk away without a scratch?”
James blinked, still reeling from the punch, but when he met Archie’s eyes, there was no deflection or defense in his gaze. There was only guilt. “Archie, wait—”
“No, you don’t get to explain!” Archie spat, shoving him harder against the wall. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done to her? You broke her!”
Sirius stepped forward, his eyes flashing angrily. “Oi, get your hands off him—”
But Leonard blocked Sirius’s path, his expression dark and uncharacteristically cold. “Back off, Black. He had this coming.”
“Look, mate, we didn’t mean for it to go this far,” Sirius said, trying to reason with Leonard, though his voice lacked sincerity. “It was just a stupid joke.”
Autumn, standing beside Florence, scoffed. “A joke? You think it’s a joke to toy with someone’s feelings? You think it’s funny to break someone’s heart?”
Remus, who had been silent up until now, finally spoke, his voice soft but firm. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like this, Archie. James didn’t mean—”
But Archie wasn’t listening. “I don’t care what he meant! He knew what he was doing. You all did. You think you can just play with people’s lives because you’re the Marauders, huh? Because you’re so damn popular?”
James, his cheek red from the punch, swallowed hard. “Archie… I’m sorry. I didn’t—”
“Shut up,” Archie snapped, pushing James harder against the wall. “You knew what you were doing. You used her for a dare—you made her believe she could trust you. That she could actually care about you. And you did it for what? A joke? To get Evans jealous?”
James opened his mouth, but no words came out. Guilt twisted in his gut, more painful than any punch could have been. He had no defense. No excuse.
“I didn’t mean to—” James started, but Archie cut him off, his voice growing colder.
“You did mean to. You knew exactly what you were doing. You toyed with her feelings and now you’re going to pay for it.”
James felt the weight of Archie’s words settle over him like a lead blanket. He hadn’t wanted it to go this far. He hadn’t wanted to hurt you—but that didn’t change the fact that he had.
Before the situation could escalate any further, the sharp, familiar voice of Professor McGonagall sliced through the crowd.
“Mr. Hatcher! Mr. Potter!”
Professor McGonagall strode into the hallway, her eyes blazing with fury as she took in the scene before her. James was pinned against the wall, blood trickling from the corner of his lip, Archie’s fist still clenched tightly in his robes.
“Step away from him, Mr. Hatcher,” she ordered, her voice leaving no room for argument.
Archie hesitated for only a moment before letting go of James with a sharp shove, stepping back but not taking his eyes off him.
McGonagall’s stern gaze moved between the two boys. “Would someone care to explain what, exactly, is going on here?”
For a long moment, no one spoke. Archie’s jaw was still clenched, his fists balled at his sides, and James simply wiped the blood from his mouth, his eyes cast downward. He didn’t even try to defend himself.
Seeing that no one was going to speak, McGonagall sighed, her lips thinning into a tight line. “Very well,” she said, her voice icy. “Since neither of you seem inclined to explain, you will both serve detention. One week. Starting tomorrow.”
James nodded, knowing he deserved far worse. Archie, however, still seemed on edge, his glare burning into James even as he stepped back.
McGonagall’s expression softened, if only slightly. “Now, all of you—back to class. This nonsense is over.”
The gathered students began to disperse, and McGonagall gave one last stern look at both boys before turning and walking away, her robes billowing behind her.
As soon as she was out of earshot, Archie took a step closer to James, his voice low but dripping with contempt. “Stay away from her, Potter. If you ever come near her again, I’ll make sure that punch is the least of your worries.”
Without another word, Archie, Leonard, Autumn, and Florence walked away, leaving James standing in the hallway, bruised and guilty.
Sirius, Remus, and Peter stood in stunned silence, unsure of what to say. But James just stood there, his back still against the wall, staring after Archie as the weight of his actions pressed down on him.
He had ruined everything.
The following days were unbearable. Everywhere James went, he could feel the tension. Students whispered about him as he passed, and the disapproving stares of his classmates burned into his back. But none of that hurt more than seeing you.
You had become a ghost in his world. You still smiled softly at your friends, still went to class like normal, but you never once looked his way. It was as if he no longer existed to you. And James hated himself for it.
It took him a while, but eventually, he gathered the courage to try and make things right. He knew it wouldn’t be easy. He knew he didn’t deserve your forgiveness. But he had to try.
One afternoon, James found you in the library, sitting alone at one of the tables near the back. He approached slowly, his heart pounding in his chest. You were reading, your eyes scanning the page with an intensity that told him you were trying to ignore him even before he said anything.
“Y/N,” James said quietly, standing a few feet away from you.
You didn’t look up. “What do you want, James?”
He swallowed hard. “I just… I need to talk to you.”
You sighed, closing your book but still refusing to meet his eyes. “Haven’t you done enough already?”
James flinched at the coldness in your voice, but he forced himself to continue. “I know I’ve hurt you. I know I’ve messed up in a way that I’ll never be able to fix, but… I want to apologize.”
You remained silent, but your fingers clenched tightly around the edge of the book in your lap.
“I never meant for it to go this far,” he continued, his voice sincere. “It started as something stupid—something I regret more than you’ll ever know. I’ve thought about it every day since then. And I hate myself for it.”
Finally, you looked up, your expression filled with sadness and anger. “You didn’t think about how much it would hurt me, did you? You didn’t care that I might actually fall for you. That I might trust you.”
James shook his head. “I did care. I didn’t realize how much until it was too late. I’m sorry, Y/N. I never wanted to break your heart.”
James swallowed, the guilt weighing heavily on him. “I know. I’ll never be able to take back what I did, but… I want to make it right. Somehow.”
You shook your head slightly, your voice soft. “I don’t know if you can.”
For a moment, neither of you spoke. James stood there, hoping for a sign, a flicker of something that would let him know he wasn’t too late. But you simply looked back down at your book, your walls firmly back in place.
James left the library that day feeling more hopeless than ever. But he wasn’t ready to give up. Over the next few days, he tried—small acts of kindness that he hoped would show you he was serious about making amends. He held doors open for you, left small notes of apology on your desk, and even helped you with your Potions homework from afar, making sure you had all the right ingredients laid out. He didn’t push. He didn’t ask for anything. He just wanted you to know he cared.
When you walked into class, your desk would be cleared of stray ink stains. A forgotten book would find its way back into your bag, or a note of apology would be slipped into your books. At first, you tried to ignore it all, but eventually, it became impossible to pretend you didn’t notice his efforts.
Despite everything, there was a part of you that still cared for James, a part of you that hated how much you missed the way things had been before the truth came out. It was that small part of you that made it harder to ignore him.
But you tried. You tried not to care. You tried to remind yourself of the hurt, the betrayal. You didn’t want to forgive him… but some days, you found yourself softening, despite everything.
James made sure to keep his distance, always careful to avoid Archie and the rest of your friends. If Archie found out that James was still trying to win back your trust, he’d make sure James regretted it. But James wasn’t doing this for anyone else anymore—not for Sirius, not for Lily. He was doing it for you, hoping that, one day, you might believe in him again.
It was a long process, and you weren’t ready to forgive him completely. But little by little, you began to see glimpses of the James Potter who wasn’t just a reckless boy trying to win a dare. He was something more than that—someone who was genuinely sorry for what he had done.
You still weren’t sure if you could ever fully trust him again. But maybe, just maybe, you could start to forgive him. One small step at a time.
It was a cool, crisp afternoon at Hogwarts, the autumn air biting softly at your skin as you climbed up the empty Quidditch stands. The Gryffindor team had finished their practice a while ago, leaving the pitch quiet, save for the rustling of leaves carried on the wind. You liked coming here after everyone had gone—there was a peace to the open sky and the vastness of the field that made everything else feel distant.
You wrapped your cloak tighter around yourself and settled into one of the seats, letting your eyes wander over the golden leaves scattered across the pitch. For a while, you just sat there, lost in thought, until the sound of someone clearing their throat snapped you out of your reverie.
“Mind if I sit?” James stood at the edge of the row, his broomstick in hand, looking uncharacteristically uncertain. His messy hair was windswept from practice, and there was a tentative smile on his face, like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to be near you.
Your heart gave a small jolt. You weren’t used to him being this hesitant around you. “Sure,” you replied softly, gesturing to the spot beside you.
He sat down carefully, leaving a bit of space between you, though the air around him still felt warm and familiar. For a few moments, the two of you sat in silence, both staring out at the empty field. The awkwardness between you was palpable, but it wasn’t uncomfortable—it was more like the calm after a storm, when everything is still fragile, but quiet.
“You used to come to all our games,” James said after a while, his voice low, as though he was afraid of breaking the peace.
“I still do,” you replied, not looking at him. “I just... sit further back now.”
James winced, but nodded. “Yeah, I noticed. Haven’t seen you up close in a while.”
You glanced at him then, catching the way his eyes softened as he looked out at the field. The cocky confidence he’d worn like armor for so long was missing. In its place was something quieter, more genuine.
“I don’t blame you for keeping your distance,” he continued. “I deserve it.”
You hugged your knees closer to your chest, not responding at first. There was still an ache in your heart whenever you thought about what had happened, but the anger was flickering.
“Why do you care so much now?” you asked quietly, your voice almost lost in the wind. “Why are you trying so hard?”
James turned to you, his hazel eyes full of sincerity. “Because I care about you. Really care about you. And I don’t want to be the reason you’re hurt. Not anymore.”
The openness in his voice took you by surprise. You had seen James like this before, but only in fleeting moments. Now, it felt like the bravado had peeled away, leaving someone real beneath the surface.
“You weren’t like this before,” you muttered, more to yourself than to him.
“I know.” James leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “I thought I had to be... I don’t know, bigger than life all the time. Like I had to prove something to everyone, especially myself. I’m not proud of that. But you’ve always been real with me, and I wasn’t real with you.”
His words hung in the air between you, and for the first time in a long time, you didn’t feel the weight of betrayal as strongly. You felt a little lighter, like maybe, just maybe, things could be different.
“I’m not expecting you to forgive me all at once,” James added, his voice softer now. “But I want to show you that I can be better, for you."
You looked down at your hands, picking at the edge of your sleeve. “It’s just... hard. Trust doesn’t come back that easily, James.”
“I know,” he said, his voice a little rough. “But I’m willing to do whatever it takes, no matter how long it takes.”
You looked at him then, really looked at him, and you could see how much he meant it. There was no smirk, no playful grin—just James, raw and honest. The boy who had been careless with your heart was trying to make amends, and for the first time, you felt like he truly understood the weight of what he’d done.
The wind ruffled his hair, and for a moment, you found yourself smiling softly at the familiar sight. “You’ve got ink on your face,” you said, pointing to a smudge near his temple.
James blinked, touching his face with a confused frown. “What—oh.” He chuckled lightly, his expression sheepish. “I guess I got a bit too into planning out that Transfiguration essay.”
You shook your head with a small laugh, the sound surprising both of you. It wasn’t much, but it was something—a tiny crack in the walls you’d built up.
James seemed to catch the change in your mood and his smile widened, though he didn’t press you further. He leaned back in the seat, his gaze shifting back to the field. “You ever flown before?”
“Once,” you said, shrugging. “I’m not really a fan of heights.”
James grinned, the old spark of mischief flickering in his eyes. “Well, if you ever feel like giving it another go, I’m pretty good at keeping people safe on a broom.”
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the smile tugging at your lips. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
Silence settled between you again, but this time it wasn’t awkward. It was comfortable, like an old friendship slowly knitting itself back together. You weren’t sure where things would go from here, but for now, sitting here with James felt... nice.
And maybe that was enough for today.
It had taken weeks to come to a decision. Every day, you had wrestled with the memory of what James had done, how he had played with your heart like it was a game. But, as time went on, you couldn't ignore the fact that James had been trying, truly trying, to make things right. You could see it in the way he no longer sought attention, the way he was quietly helping without expecting anything in return.
Forgiveness was hard, but holding onto anger was harder. And you were tired—tired of the pain, tired of feeling like you were carrying a weight that wouldn’t let go. So, with shaky hands and a racing heart, you left a note on James’s desk:
Meet me by the Black Lake at sunset.
You didn’t write more, unsure how you would feel when the moment came. All you knew was that you had to give him—and yourself—a chance.
When James found the note, his heart nearly stopped. He read it over and over, as if afraid it might disappear before his eyes. You wanted to meet him. His mind raced, a thousand possibilities flickering through his head—was this the moment he had been waiting for? Or was it a final goodbye?
His hands trembled as he pocketed the note, trying to calm himself. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but for the first time in weeks, a spark of hope flickered in his chest.
As sunset approached, James made his way to the Black Lake, his nerves twisting with every step. And there you were, standing by the water’s edge, your arms wrapped around yourself, lost in thought as you watched the gentle ripples on the surface.
James’s heart skipped a beat. You were beautiful in the fading light, and for a moment, he simply stood there, watching you, gathering the courage to approach.
Finally, he took a breath and stepped forward. “Y/N.”
You turned, your eyes meeting his, he could see the conflict in your gaze—the hurt that still lingered, but also the kindness that had always been part of you.
You took a deep breath, glancing out at the lake before speaking again. “I’ve been thinking a lot, James. About everything. About how much I was hurt… but also about how you’ve changed.”
James stayed silent, afraid to interrupt, afraid to break the fragile moment you were sharing.
“I’m might be angry,” you admitted, your voice steady. “But I don’t want to hold onto that forever. I don’t want to carry this weight anymore.”
James looked down, his heart heavy with the guilt of everything he had put you through. “I know I hurt you,” he said quietly, his voice thick with regret. “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but… I swear, Y/N, I would do anything to fix this.”
You turned to face him fully, taking a deep breath. “I don’t know if things will ever be the same, James. But I want to try. I want to give you a chance… to prove that this isn’t just another game.”
James’s eyes widened in disbelief. “You mean… you’re giving me another chance?”
You nodded slowly. “Yes. But it’s not going to be easy, James. Trust takes time to rebuild.”
For a moment, James stood frozen, processing your words. Then, without thinking, he stepped forward, gently cupping your face in his hands. His touch was warm, and careful, like he was afraid you might pull away. He gazed into your eyes, his own filled with an intensity that made your heart skip.
“I swear to you, Y/N,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “I will never, ever hurt you like that again. I’ll spend the rest of my life proving to you that I’m worth trusting. I promise.”
Your breath caught in your throat, the warmth of his hands on your cheeks grounding you as your heart fluttered in your chest. You could feel the truth in his words, the genuine regret and longing behind them. And for the first time in what felt like forever, you believed him.
Slowly, almost instinctively, you leaned into his touch, your eyes fluttering shut for a brief moment as the tension between you melted away. When you opened your eyes again, James was still watching you, his gaze filled with hope and affection.
For a moment, everything felt right. You were standing by the lake, the world around you peaceful and quiet, and for the first time in weeks, you allowed yourself to feel that flicker of warmth you had tried so hard to ignore.
But just as you thought things might finally fall into place, a voice cut through the serene air like a blade.
“What the hell is this?”
Your heart dropped as you turned to see Archie storming toward you, his face twisted in anger. He had seen you together. James dropped his hands from your face, stepping back, but Archie was already closing the distance between you.
“Y/N, get out of the way,” Archie growled, his eyes locked on James. “I’m not letting him get away with this again.”
“You’ve got some nerve, Potter,” Archie growled, his fists clenched as he glared at James. “What did I tell you? You think you can just worm your way back into her life after what you did?”
James didn’t fight back, his hands raised in defense. “Archie, I swear, it’s not like that. I’m not trying to hurt her.”
“Not trying to hurt her?” Archie spat, his voice rising. “You’ve already done enough damage!”
“Archie, stop!” you shouted, stepping between them before Archie could throw a punch. You placed a hand on his chest, trying to push him back. “Please, just listen to me.”
Archie looked down at you, his face still twisted with anger. “Y/N, why are you defending him? After everything he did?”
“I know what he did,” you said firmly, your voice steady. “But he’s changed, Archie. He’s been trying—really trying—to make things right.”
Archie shook his head, his fists still balled. “And you believe him? After all that?”
You took a deep breath, your eyes locked on Archie’s. “Yes. I believe him. I wouldn’t be standing here if I didn’t.”
Archie’s jaw clenched, his fists still balled at his sides. “And what if you’re wrong? What if he breaks your heart all over again?”
You shook your head, your voice steady. “He won’t. I know he won’t.”
For a long moment, Archie said nothing, his chest rising and falling with deep, angry breaths. He looked between you and James, his jaw tight, clearly torn between wanting to protect you and the growing frustration of watching you forgive James.
Finally, Archie exhaled sharply, stepping back and dropping his fists. “Fine,” he muttered, his voice low. “But if he so much as looks at you the wrong way—”
“I know,” you interrupted, a small smile tugging at your lips. “You’ll beat him to a pulp.”
Archie gave James one last threatening glare before turning back to you. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
“I will be,” you said, looking back at James, who stood there, relief flooding his features. “I will be.”
Archie sighed, running a hand through his hair before turning to walk away, muttering something under his breath about "keeping an eye on Potter." As he disappeared into the distance, you turned back to James, who was still watching you with a mixture of gratitude and awe.
“Thank you,” James said softly, stepping closer to you once more. “I don’t deserve it, but thank you.”
You smiled up at him, the warmth of his presence calming the nervous flutter in your chest. “Just don’t make me regret it, Potter.”
“I won’t,” he promised, his voice filled with sincerity. And this time, you believed him.
It had been a few days since the Black Lake, since that quiet moment where you'd taken the first step toward forgiving James. You hadn’t fully worked through everything yet, but the weight on your chest had lightened, if only slightly. James, true to his word, had been patient. He wasn’t pushing, wasn’t demanding more than you were ready to give.
One evening, after dinner, you found yourself sitting by the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room, enjoying the warmth while trying to focus on your Herbology notes. You had just managed to start working through a particularly tricky chapter when a shadow fell over your table.
“Hey,” a familiar voice said softly.
You looked up and saw James standing there, his hands shoved deep into his pockets, his expression almost shy. It was a look you were still getting used to—the quiet James, the one without the cocky grin and the easy swagger. The one who didn’t assume you’d always want to talk to him.
“Hi,” you replied, offering a small smile.
He rocked slightly on his heels, glancing around the common room before returning his gaze to you. “I was wondering if… maybe you’d like to go for a walk?”
A walk? It seemed harmless enough. And you had to admit, the idea of stepping out into the cool night air sounded appealing after being cooped up with your books for hours.
You nodded, closing your notes. “Sure.”
James blinked in surprise, as if he hadn’t expected you to say yes. But he quickly recovered, grinning in that soft, hopeful way he had started to smile recently. “Great. Let’s go.”
You followed him out of the common room, the portrait of the Fat Lady swinging closed behind you as the castle corridors opened up before you. The two of you walked in comfortable silence for a few moments, your footsteps echoing off the stone floors.
The evening was quiet, with most students settling in for the night. When you reached the castle doors, James paused, opening one of them and holding it for you. The cold air rushed in, crisp and clean, carrying the scent of grass and earth. You stepped outside, feeling the refreshing chill against your skin, and James fell into step beside you as you wandered down the path that led toward the Black Lake.
The moon hung high in the sky, casting a silver glow over the water. The stars twinkled like distant diamonds, and the soft rustling of leaves in the breeze made the night feel alive with gentle magic. It was peaceful here, under the sky, with the world around you so calm.
James cleared his throat, breaking the silence. “You know… I’ve missed this,” he said quietly, glancing over at you. “Being able to just… be with you.”
You looked at him, noticing how the moonlight softened his features. His eyes, normally so full of mischief, were now earnest, searching yours for some kind of reassurance.
“I’ve missed it too,” you admitted, surprising even yourself. You hadn’t realized how much you’d missed these moments, before everything had fallen apart—when James was just a boy who made you laugh, who listened to you, who made you feel seen.
James smiled, but it wasn’t his usual grin—it was softer, more thoughtful. “I know things aren’t the same,” he said, kicking a pebble with the tip of his shoe as you both walked. “And I know I’ve got a long way to go before… before you can really trust me again. But I’m going to keep trying. Every day, I’m going to keep trying.”
There was something about the way he said it that made your heart swell—this wasn’t the cocky, arrogant James who once thought he could charm his way through life. This was the James who was willing to work for it, who understood that he had to earn your trust back, one small step at a time.
“I appreciate that,” you said softly, your gaze drifting over the calm surface of the lake. “I really do.”
For a while, you both fell into a comfortable silence, the kind that didn’t need to be filled with words. It was nice—just walking together, the cool night air wrapping around you both. You weren’t sure what it was, but something about this moment felt right. Maybe you weren’t fully healed yet, but you were beginning to believe that healing was possible.
After a few more minutes of walking, James stopped, turning to face you with a look of hesitant curiosity. “Can I ask you something?”
You raised an eyebrow. “Depends what it is.”
He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “It’s not bad, I promise. I just… I was wondering if—if maybe you’d like to come to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?”
You blinked, surprised by the question. He had asked it so simply, without any of his usual flair. It wasn’t a demand or an assumption. It was just a question—a genuine one, filled with hope but no expectation.
“You don’t have to say yes,” James added quickly, seeing the hesitation in your eyes. “I know things are still… complicated. But I’d love to spend some time with you outside of… all this.”
You thought about it for a moment. You weren’t sure if you were ready for anything that felt like a date—not yet. But Hogsmeade was harmless, wasn’t it? A day out, something simple, something that could help rebuild the trust you were slowly finding again.
After a moment, you nodded. “Sure,”
James’ face lit up, his eyes widening in surprise. “Really?”
You couldn’t help but smile at his reaction. “Really.”
“Thank you,” he said quietly, his voice barely more than a whisper.
You nodded, feeling a strange flutter in your stomach. You weren’t sure what was going to happen, or where this new path with James would lead. But for the first time in a long time, you felt like maybe—just maybe—it was worth finding out.
As you continued walking beside him, the moonlight casting gentle shadows across the path, you realized that this moment, right here, was a beginning. Not a fresh start, but a continuation—something that had been broken but was slowly, carefully, being put back together.
And maybe, just maybe, you could learn to trust James again.
One small step at a time.
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gilbertscurls · 2 days
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Consume ➵ Matt Sturniolo
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synopsis: you finds yourself at a crowded party, but your mind is fixated on matt, the steady presence in your life who's recently stirred unfamiliar feelings within you.
The music pulsed through the crowded room, the bass reverberating in your chest as you weaved your way through the party. Neon lights flickered above, casting everyone in a hazy glow of reds and blues. You spotted Matt leaning against the bar, his head tilted back slightly as he took a long sip of his drink. His dark hair fell messily across his forehead, and his signature cool, effortless demeanor was as present as ever.
You weren’t sure when it had started—this unshakable pull toward him. He was always a constant in her life, the steady friend, the one who never let emotions show too clearly. But recently, every time you were in the same room, it was like a magnetic force pulled you closer, making your stomach twist with a kind of nervous energy you weren’t used to.
And now, with the low lights casting shadows across his sharp features and his black jacket hugging his frame just right, that pull was undeniable. You couldn’t help it. You were drawn to him, maybe even consumed by him.
“Y/N!” a voice called out from behind you, snapping you from your daze. You turned to see Chris and Nick waving her over.
“Hey guys,” you greeted, though your eyes flickered back to Matt. Chris followed your gaze, smirking.
“Can’t stop staring at our boy, huh?” Chris teased, nudging your shoulder. “I see the way you look at him.”
You shot him a warning glance, your face growing hot. “Shut up.”
Nick raised an eyebrow but said nothing. He always knew when to stay out of things. But Chris? Not so much.
Before you could say anything else, Chris gave you a knowing grin and strolled toward the bar, Nick trailing behind him. That left you standing awkwardly a few feet away from Matt, your heart pounding harder than it should have been. You were about to walk over when, suddenly, he turned and met your gaze.
The air between you seemed to thicken instantly, the noise of the party fading to a distant hum. His dark eyes held yours, steady and unreadable, but something in his expression flickered. He motioned you over, and without thinking, you obeyed, your feet carrying you to him before your brain could catch up.
“Hey,” he said, his voice low, almost drowned out by the music. “You good?”
You nodded, though you didn’t feel good. You felt out of control, your body reacting to his presence in ways that made you feel dizzy. You caught the slight downturn of his lips, a look of concern flashing across his face.
“You seem… Off tonight.”
You wanted to laugh at that. Off? If only he knew. You were so far from “off,” you didn’t know how to describe it. Instead of explaining yourself, though, you shrugged, trying to play it cool. “I’m fine. Just tired, I guess.”
He nodded, his gaze never leaving yours, and you could feel the weight of his attention. It was suffocating but also addictive, like you couldn’t get enough. Before you realized what was happening, Matt set his drink down and leaned in close, his voice barely a whisper in your ear.
“Come outside with me.”
It wasn’t a question, more like a statement, and you didn’t hesitate to follow him as he made his way through the crowd. You both stepped out into the crisp night air, the streetlights casting long shadows across the sidewalk. The party still raged inside, but out here, it was just the two of you.
Matt turned to face you, his expression unreadable. For a moment, you just stood there, the city lights glowing softly around you. You crossed your arms, suddenly feeling the chill, but it wasn’t the cold that made you shiver.
“Y/N…” His voice was soft now, almost hesitant. He reached up, brushing a strand of hair from your face, and the simple touch sent a shock through your system. “You don’t have to act like nothing’s going on. I see it.”
Your heart skipped a beat. “See what?”
He stepped closer, his hand lingering near your cheek. “This… Thing between us.”
You opened her mouth to respond, but the words got stuck in your throat. Of course, he’d noticed. How could he not? It had been building for months, this undeniable tension, this pull that had you thinking about him constantly.
“You can feel it too, right?” His voice was low, his eyes locked on yours, and the intensity in his gaze was overwhelming.
You nodded, unable to deny it anymore.
He closed the distance between them, his hand now cupping your cheek. “It’s been driving me crazy,” he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. “I can’t stop thinking about you. Every time I see you…”
He didn’t finish the sentence, but he didn’t have to. You knew exactly what he meant because you felt it too—the constant, maddening thoughts of him that had been consuming you for weeks.
Before you could respond, Matt’s lips brushed against yours, softly at first, almost like he was testing the waters. But when you didn’t pull away, the kiss deepened, his hands slipping around your waist and pulling you closer.
It was intoxicating, the way his touch sent sparks through you, the way the world seemed to fall away. You kissed him back with a kind of urgency that surprised you, like you’d been waiting for this moment for far too long.
But as much as you wanted this, as much as you craved him, there was a part of you that knew this was dangerous. There was something dark about it, something that felt like it would consume you if you let it.
You broke the kiss, stepping back slightly, your breathing ragged. “Matt…”
“I know,” he said, his voice rough, his eyes still filled with that same burning intensity. “I know this is complicated.”
“Complicated doesn’t even begin to cover it,” you whispered, your heart racing. “What if… What if we ruin everything?”
He stared at you for a long moment, his expression softening. “Maybe we will,” he admitted. “But maybe… Maybe it’s worth it.”
You hesitated, the weight of his words hanging heavy in the air. This was Matt—your steady, reliable Matt. But the way he was looking at you now, the way he had kissed you, it felt different. Dangerous. Like stepping off a cliff and not knowing where you would land.
But maybe, just maybe, you didn’t care.
You reached for him again, pulling him back into your arms. If this was going to consume you, you might as well fall headfirst into it.
And as his lips met yours again, all thoughts of caution melted away, leaving nothing but the raw, electric energy between you.
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tag list: @stuwniolo, @sturnobsessedwh0re, @matts-myloverboy, @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut, @lizzymacdonald06, @asherrisrandom
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SHOTGUN SHOT THROUGH THE HEART / CAN'T DRIVE PAST THE PLACES WE USED TO GO TO
keigo x reader x touya
part 2/4, part 1 here
the day of touya’s supposed arrest was the day you almost ended it all. a familiar winged hero comes to your rescue. olivia rodrigo mentioned!
inspired by drivers license + getaway car
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today was enough to kill you.
4:26 am. your eyes open with no time for dreary morning exhaustion. his arms feel especially warm that morning, making it all the more harder to pry yourself away from him. in the end, it would be two broken hearts, and 4 hands bloody.
what kills you is how peaceful he looks. how touya, a man who had fire inside his heart, felt some semblance of comfort when he laid next to you. you prayed he was dreaming, dreaming of something better than this.
you pack throw your keys and what little cash there is left into the purse he stole for you. your as quiet as possible, not necessarily to conceal your movement, but rather your cries. you don't want to do this. you want to go there, and lay with your favorite arsonist. you want to lay there and love him into the world catches up with you. but you fucking can't.
and the worst part is, he's watching you.
he could stand up. he could yell, and demand to know what's going on. he could burn you to a crisp or pull you into his arms. he could promise you forever or break your heart more as you slowly twist the doorknob open.
he hated the fact that he was suspicious about you, but its god's cruelest joke that that gut feeling is somehow always right. he doesn't what exactly is going down, but he knows you're not coming back. his hearts not pure, far from it, but it still hurts him watching you leave. you turned into the one thing he wished you never would be.
but he's quiet. because deep down, somewhere deep in his heart, he knew this would happen eventually. he can't find it in himself to blame you. he blames himself for thinking you wouldn't.
so with a gentle, silent sigh, he lets you go.
just because someone expects betrayal doesn't mean they can't cry when it happens.
you breathe again once you finally reach the car, ducking past the sirens, officers and god damn heroes that are waiting outside the hotel. many of them, the figures you see on t.v and on magazines attempt to acknowledge you, to thank you for your efforts, but your oxygen is running out. you slam the door shut behind you and speed off into the early dusk of the morning.
red lights and stop signs become nothing but a blur as shaky sobs take over your lungs. your grip on the steering wheel loosens as you see his face in the rearview. your feet on the dashboard, laughing at crude jokes overtaking the sounds of traffic. you pray that he'll forgive you, though its useless.
by now, they've broken into the room.
by now, they've got him on his knees.
by know, he realizes just why you left so soon.
you drive alone, despite the various honks and sirens that become more and more evident at your recklessness. suddenly, you see him everywhere- sidewalks, car reflections, alleyways and deeply embedded in the crevices of your heart.
you said forever, and now you drove the getaway car.
when keigo calls you, you answer with a shaky huff as his voice comes through the receiver. he updates you on everything, much to your dismay.
"what do you mean you guys didn't arrest him!? what the fuck happened there?!" you scream.
your ex-fiance's voice is filled with guilt as he explains everything. "it... was a disaster. we underestimated him. he was unstoppable, angrier than i've ever seen him. and when i told him you were the one who gave up his location..."
your heart may as well have stopped when he said that.
"you... told him...?"
the blonde winces at the tone in your voice, realizing his slip up. for a hero that was so used to lying, being calculated and playing a role that wasn't for him, he struggled to hide the most of painful of truths to you.
"shit, i'm... fuck, i'm sorry, babe. it just slipped out." the coward in every man, and evidently in keigo, tries to cover up what he revealed about you. it obviously doesn't work.
a shaky, sob-filled scream escapes your throat as you dangerously speed through the traffic and onto the bridge connecting your now abandoned hiding spot to the city. other drivers are understandably honking at you, flipping you off and asking who the hell granted you your license. you're too distraught to care, seeing as the guilt of turning touya in overtakes you.
you did the right thing, and it tore your heart apart at the seems.
keigo is still on the phone with you, keeping note of the sirens and cars he hears from your end. he quickly tries to diffuse the situation before anything else happens. "[y/n], love, i'm gonna need you to pull over." he cautions. "i'll come to you."
"i'm fine." you lie, not wanting him to see you like this. you stare at the watery depths below, reasoning with yourself not to do anything rash. just make it back to your apartment, wrap yourself up in your bedsheets and lay there until this is all over.
keigo sees right through this, as if sensing your inner turmoil (if it wasn't already blatantly obvious.) he begs you just to pull over, to stop driving in the state your in, and just let him come to you. let him make sure you come out of this alive. its what he wants, and its probably what touya wants, too.
you grit your teeth at his pleas, too heartbroken to think rationally right now. you're a reckless, ticking time bomb, and you all know it. "god, i know you care about me, kei. i know you still have feelings for me."
he's silent on the other end of the phone. his heart clenches, wincing at your harshness. he was never trying to hide how he never fully got over you, even after you professed your love for the man you ran away with. somehow, you still had that hold on his heartstrings.
"yeah, well, so what if do? what difference does it make i still don't want you to kill yourself."
his hand shakes as he holds the phone in his hand, his worry growing more and more apparent with each passing second.
"you made me betray the person i loved so much, maybe as much as i loved you."
theres a heavy silence that hangs over the call screen. its wrong to blame keigo for what happened. either way, touya was still a dangerous villain who had to be stopped. all keigo did was open your eyes to the truth. probably because he's a hero, and thats what heroes do, but also because he loves you, and doesn't want to see your heartbreak over a criminal.
but its that last part that makes keigo's heart sink to his stomach. the idea that the amount of love you had for him was equivalent to the love you had for touya.
even after the end of your breakup, he still wished the best for you. he wished for you to be happy, just not happier than how you were with him. as selfish as that is.
his heart aches, the pain of what you're going through beginning to creep up on him too. he o desperately wants to tell you that everything will be okay, that he'll be your hero and take all your hurt away, but in that regard? he's powerless.
"keigo, i-"
he listens, hoping you'll finish your sentence. but you don't, even after he yells after you. "what? [y/n], what? hey!?"
his heart stops in his chest as a loud crash resonates over your end, followed by honking, screaming, and worst of all, the sound of something splashing into the watery depths below. what scares him the most is what he doesn't know. are you okay? can he still save you in time?
when the line goes dead, he quicky takes off, setting out to find you before its too late.
✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.* ⋆.˚
theres an overwhelming cold feeling that takes you. you're oddly relaxed, despite the dull ache that erupts in your head. you aren't sure whats happening fully, your memories a messy haze. right now, nothing else matters as your body floats through the cold state of purgatory.
theres suddenly a sharp pain on your chest, followed by a desperate plea you can’t quite discern. theres a familiar taste on your lips, one that speaks love to you. that resounding pressure on your chest makes your heart thump, causing memories to suddenly replay in your mind like a film screen. memories with someone you loved.
you and keigo had met through some friend you can’t really remember. two deep in chardonnay, and you were the only one that guessed his antics during charades. the pounding of your heart continues as you recall the memory. you went from one kiss to getting married in just the span of a few months.
first loves are special like that.
he found pieces of you in every song he listened to, became utterly addicted to smell of your perfume and your bare shoulder in the morning. he loved your laughter, the way your hands fit in his. he loved that you saw him, even in the moments he could barely recognize himself.
the thing about first love, however, is that its also your first loss.
fears of trapping you in a marriage, the same one he had seen growing up, became all the more evident for the hero. he didn’t want to hold you down, to chain you to him when the two of you were meant to fly freely, happily. he felt like you deserved to love someone else.
and eventually, you did. though he never expected the firstborn son turned villain you ran off with.
but as keigo performs cpr on you, begging you to come back to life, he pleads with the sky. with anyone who might hear him, or whoever was trying to take you away from this world.
if it meant you’d start breathing again, he’d fly up to the clouds and catch lightning in a bottle. if it meant you’d open your eyes, he’d fix every last mistake he ever made. if it meant you’d love him again… well, he’d deal with the truth of that if it meant you’d simply live again.
he almost gives up, looking down at his own, wet gloved hands as he comes to terms with the fact that his attempts may be futile. you were injured in the crash, losing blood from cuts and bruises. on top of that, you had drowned, the cruel, murky depths of the sea taking you away.
he’s already covered in water, but a singular tear drop runs down his eye.
your hearts beating, fuelled purely by the love you’ve gotten to experience. you see two people- the man who brought you back to life, and the one that felt like the best way to die.
before you can discern who is who, your heart catches up with your lungs, taking a desperate gasp of air. you immediately turn to your side, ignoring the cuts on your body in order to turn over and cough out the water. its salty and stings your throat, your vision hazy and your body shivering.
“breathe.” a voice commands you, rubbing circles on your back. keigo sighs in relief, pulling you into his lap. you cling like the life buoy you would have needed just a couple of minutes ago.
you don’t even realizing you’re still crying, not until the blonde strokes your cheeks free from the tears. he tilts your head up so he can look at you.
“you were dead a minute ago.” he says, his usual nonchalant behaviour replaced by a rare glimmer of worry. you were the only person that pulled those feelings out of him, anyway.
your throat sings of salt, body aching from the cold and the blood loss. “yeah, well… you’re not gonna get rid of me that easily.” you choke out.
he almost laughs, opting to pull you into a tight hug. with as much strength, though theres not much, you embrace him back. yes, you’re still mad. yes, you’re still heartbroken. but he somehow made your tortured heart beat once more.
he wraps his coat around you, handing you off to the paramedics. he promises to meet you in the hospital after he’s done helping other survivors, sending you off with a tender kiss to your forehead. keigo looks back, seeing the accident that left you dead for a moment.
touya, from afar, is watching too.
the look on his face is something you can’t quite decipher. he’s mad as hell you sold him out, especially at the behest of hawks- but something dragged him to the scene of the accident. something in him had to know you’d be okay.
he watches as the ambulance takes you away, before turning away and leaving the scene.
tags 🐚
@whenanafallsinlove @satirediary @bbluefllame @crushmeeren (aka all the people that would probably choose touya’s life over a thousand peoples 😭 cuz me too)
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yandere-paramour · 15 hours
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How would the other yans react if reader thought he was cheating? (That assumed cheating ask with Asteria and Jamie got me thinking) like maybe they have to spend more time away from darling and darling sees someone else intentionally get close to their significant other but is unsure how to react other than getting jealous? And maybe jealous sex where they are doming their yan what who said that?
Atalanta is somewhat amused, but also apologetic. When you storm middle of the day into her office, Noelle trying to placate you and herd you out, Atalanta dismisses Noelle and slowly works to extract the story out of you. She bites back a smile when you talk about your suspicions, and she will gently kiss your forehead and explain what she's been doing (not cheating). She's been working late to land the big account, not cheat on you. You know her view of monogamy is absolute, Darling girl. While she does not appreciate you barreling into her office in anger, she is so glad to see you. For the rest of the day, she whisks you off on an adventure to reaffirm her love for you. You both have lunch at the most expensive restaurant in town, go on a shopping spree, and she pre-reserves the Ferris wheel for you both to ride, knowing you think it's romantic. Feel free to challenge her speed skills because she can have you moaning and squirming on the way up, and fully satisfied on the way down.
Noelle's been spending a lot of time at work lately. Usually, Atalanta likes to wrap it up and let her go by 5, but not for the past month. You've been getting suspicious, especially when you texted Ata's Darling and she said Atalanta has been coming home early. When she finally comes home late that night, you are so angry you can't even think. You explode at her, and you think you see her legendary composure crack for a second because she's watching you with wide eyes. By the time you're done, you're sobbing in your pajamas, upset that the person you centered your life around has finally abandoned you. In a rare moment of vulnerability, Noelle herds you toward the couch, gets you a drink of water, and wipes the snot off your face. She explains that she's been working on a project and she doesn't mean to be away so long. She holds you against her small chest as best she can, and coos to you like you're a baby. The rest of the night is spent spoiling you, reaffirming her love for you, and in an unprecedented action, she asks Ata for a day off so she can tend to you.
Vivien is so, so, so, so sorry. When the new boy got hired at the shop, Vivien had to work a little harder to train him and he ended up spending a lot more time with him and a lot less time with you. You're starting to grow suspicious. You know Vivien is bisexual, and you saw that boy when you brought Vivien his lunch, you know he's handsome. When Vivien comes home later than normal and you catch him telling a story about the boy, you snap at him with some bite in your voice. No one can ever say Vivien is stupid, he understands exactly what you're trying to insinuate. He immediately unlocks his phone and hands it over, begging you to look at it. There's nothing there and everything seems perfectly innocent. He swears up and down that the only thing that's happening is legit floral training and he is so sorry for making you think otherwise. Vivien spends the next month trying to make things up to you by baking, bringing home bouquets, and generally loving you as best he can. He also (remember he is the manager) gets the boy's hours changed so Vivien isn't near him, anything to ease your mind.
And trust me, the jealous sex ask is coming.
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soshadysoquiet · 1 year
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The delightfully wild time discrepancies in TUA
Can we talk about the time skips in Season 1 for a moment:
My personal head-canon is that Five is having A Whole Heap of flashbacks because we see him stalking Lance for hours before finally blinking into the car to threaten him, at which point it seems to take them hours to get back to the lab for it to blow. I like the idea that at some point on that Drive Lance was just sitting in the car sweating as this psychotic child who is obsessed with eyeballs is just fully zoned out next to him, possibly drunk, holding a knife to his neck just to be like 'uh, we're here, have been for an hour' when he finally comes around.
Also how long was there between him ditching Klaus at Medi-tech and that night when he finally goes to find Dolores? Was Five just riding around in that taxi all day? Swapping taxis and doubling back on himself to make sure he's not being followed? Did he have special errands to run (get alcohol, get coffee) in between zoning out. Was he just lurking outside Gimbel Brothers for the perfect moment? I choose to imagine he was just struggling to even keep track of reality without necessarily knowing, what else was his fevered little mind doing? We know he doesn't like to waste time. I imagine he walks towards Gimble Bros, has a black out, thinks 'I must get coffee and be well presented for my wife this won't do' gets coffee, gets alcohol too because why not at this point he's having a rough week, goes back to Gimbles, balks at all the people there, hides in an alley, drinks, blacks out, goes to get more coffee, realises it's midnight and finally goes to pick her up. Meanwhile Hazel and Cha Cha have been lurking around outside for hours waiting for him to show up just so they can ruin his reunion.
At least Five's absences are explainable in this way. Because then were have these two: Luther and Diego.
They turn up, find Five's van as Hazel and Cha-Cha are in the building setting fire to the joint, and ramble off to the library.
They arrive what seems like hours later (its then dark out when they leave)
Five in this time has: arrived shortly enough after they leave to be there when the building blows up, gotten his spare alcohol stash and mannequin from the back of said van, gotten TO the library, gotten smashed and had the time to write all over the walls.
What were Luther and Diego even doing? Could they not find the library? Go to the wrong one? Stop for burgers? Or did Five accomplish all of the above in a blind fevered speed following the Meritech incident? I don't think so, because we also have time for Patch to show up, investigate, follow a trail to the motel, wait there at least ten minutes where it's dark. At least an hour has to have passed.
All of this is wildly hilarious to me, and I love it, I love to think of why; Five zoning out at least makes sense, he's got to be on the mental edge of capability at this point. But what were Diego and Luther doing??? Someone should write that side quest where they're both incapable of finding the library but too stubborn to get a cab so they just walk in circles snarking at each other.
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ganondoodle · 18 days
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(idk if anyone wants to keep hearing my opinions on totk book stuff but-)
apparently it says that rauru DID have kids, multiple even, which yeah... is kinda necessary for zelda to even be connected to them so much so that sonia can SENSE a blood connection (which, even with all the excuses with magic, is just a little too far for me to suspend my disbelief bc its over, OVER, ten thousand years worth of generations that seperate her from them that one lil touch of the hand can sense that (feels more like an attempt to make you care about them or .. see them as zeldas "better" parents just bc they exchange a few nice words, i never got the feeling they were 'better' parents and its also kinda disrespectful to her actual parents, like sure rhoam wasnt the best but i wouldnt call rauru better just bc he was polite)- i could see maybe the light power of hylia or sth but since its the coolest dude that ever lived rauru now that had it which still doesnt make sense and makes me unreasonably annoyed and she can sense BOTH of their powers in her? nah) the fact theres NOTHING about them in the game itself is just so ... no way they planned any of this
i dont think theres anything they can do or say that wont make be believe they either
are making it up alla 'fix it in post' mentality trying to hastily explain stuff the game never bothers to do to try and appease fans or let it appear as if they thought about it at all
something went really REALLY wrong during development, which kinda seems likely given how the game turned out (im sorry i cannot let go, its not just the writing, the game design too and how little was changed in the map while being so damn expensive, i dont know how people dont feel scammed q_q)
given that they (allegedly) spent the last entire year of development on polish (where??? where????? huh??? like it would make it more understandable (EXCEPT for the price) if there was alot of trouble, which was also bc it got delayed and ... turned out like this, but they dont want to say it, especially given their reputation, with that quote i have heard way too many times 'a delayed game blah blah') i just??
are they just gonna go and do it like they did with kashiwa (kass)? "they uuuh where flying around the whole time ony cool sonau tech maschines, you just dont see or hear from them ooooorrr they were uuuuh out of the country at the time" (sending invitations to other continents to join their glorious kingdom ;) )
(bet they are also gonna say they did all the stuff like ... moving the shrines around (lol?) and lifting the islands up into the sky- which is still weird bc ... didnt they also say they were living in the sky before coming to the surface?? so where?? did they park all their islands on the surface and the mystery kids had the keys so they had to repark them back into the sky after they returned off camera?? xD also why are the islands so different as an environment if they where from the surface? like even the STONE up there is different- and if they were first in the sky then on the surface and the nback in the sky .. why is there not a single yellow tree or grass in the past- you cant really argue that it changed bc they were up there so long bc .. nothing else changed, the suddendly and totally always there sonau buildings are largely in prime condition, only some slightly moldy, and what we see of the glorious past looks barely any different from the present, aside from like ... some standard trees shuffled, no castle yet and that glowy uwu filter DESPITE that stupidly long time frame between it)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#idk if others feel like that too but i cant shake the feeling there was something that either went horribly wrong during development-#-or the entire thing was neglected the whole time which is why its so .. i hesitate to even call it bare bones#...which is WILD given that its the supposed sequel to their best seeling zela game#like wtf where you doing#i get that the pressure can be immense but imo it wasnt that hard to make a sequel to thats better than totk#like i think it was harder to make totk like it is NOW bc it scraps and throws away so many things you could have easily used-#-as sequel material#its all so weird to me#my tin foil hat theory is still that they saw the success of the mario movie and immediately shifted everything to make more movies#bc it made so much money#and a movie is easier to make than a good game#so totk or botw2 at the time got the short end of the stick#which is why everything feels like .. so ... bare bones .. untested .. unfinished .. non sensical...#like an alpha build that got enough visual polish to look like a full game when its still an alpha build at its core#some main ideas like the abilities implemented and the basic map layers#mechanics functioning but untested on how it feels to play#like the sage controls and arrow fusing and ... contradictory game mechanics that dont work together#like the bulding WORKS but its clunky and underused- everything can be cheated so easily you dont even feel good cheating-#-bc it feels like the teacher just allowed you to mark your test with a green circle and you still got an A (or however USA grades work)#despite not even reading the questions- why attempt to solve a puzzle if you can just skip it#and how they tell you to be creative with it yet creativity gets punished and only efficiency is rewarded#which completely undermines the entire thing#...theres so much more you know i have ranted about it all before#ALSO rauru and sonia seemed like a rather newly wed couple to me- not one that had multiple kids that never appear-#since it only mentions rauru ..... if its only his then ... that doesnt explain anything bc zelda needs both sonia and rauru dna#................do sonau leave eggs to incubate somewhere heavenly or sth#watch out the springs where built to hatch rauru eggs bc they need the gods holy blessing bc they are oh so holy to hatch
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blluespirit · 7 months
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I sort of like the thought that Zuko and Aang take the Sun Warriors' warning not to tell anyone about the dragons a little more seriously… and they keep it between them. Of course, they trust Sokka, Toph and Katara. Of course they know they wouldn’t tell anyone, but now three people (including Iroh) know the truth about Ran and Shaw. And that’s three too many when you’re trying to keep a secret.
(and there are other people at the temple as well - like Haru, Teo and The Duke - who, while trustworthy, aren’t as close to them as the others, and when it comes to secrets with as much consequence as this one, you can’t afford to take any chances.)
Furthermore, the culture within the Fire Nation since Sozin’s rein has been warped. The culture is not to respect the dragons as the original firebenders, it’s to conquer and kill them. It’s the ultimate proof of your strength as a firebender. All it takes is one mistake before rumour spreads, and people go looking for the ultimate hunt. It’s not something Zuko or Aang can risk.
Whether Katara, Toph and Sokka (and Suki) ever find out the truth is up to you. But post-war, after Zuko returns from a strange, poorly explained trip with a dragon, and eventually develops the ability to use rainbow fire, either the others have some questions about Aang’s knowing look, or they are finally let in on a monumental secret.
#it’s a kids show so i think for that reason it was played for laughs about keeping the dragons a secret is not necessarily a bad choice...#the show does that sometimes where it says something off hand and then leaves me lying face down contemplating ✨the consequences✨ of that#but there are some… implications there about being too loose lipped with the truth in leading up to the end of and immediately post#war fire nation. just because zuko understands the spiritual significance of a dragon it does not mean the rest of his people will. actuall#its more likely that they'd reject zuko's opinion considering that he's basically coming into power and then telling everyone that#they've been lied to their whole lives. the fire nation is drowning in propaganda. for a lot of people this opinion of dragons and#firebending's true nature being violence and destruction is all they know. fire is LIFE but to most people that's an alien concept#and in terms of keeping secrets - it’s not even a matter of trust it’s a matter of too many people knowing#you might not even realised you’ve revealed some incredible information to someone who has the means to spread it or pursue it#so… i think zuko would be hyper aware of this. since he grew up hearing stories about the 'glory' of dragon hunting#and since iroh has also made a concerted effort to keep this information hidden i think it makes sense he’d be very hesitant to let it#get out to the public#aang would agree i think esp if zuko explained the importance of hiding them even from loved ones#ALSO random but it also makes me wonder what the fire nation said about roku in wake of the war#he had a dragon but he didn’t kill it. he didn’t ’conquer’ it#sozin would have had to work his ASS off to reframe history as him being the more… loyal(?) patriotic (?) of the two#did he frame it as roku didn’t have the courage to kill a dragon??? that he lacked the strength of a true firebender?#the avatar works hard but sozin's propaganda machine works harder 🧍‍♀️#zuko#aang#avatar the last airbender#zuko & aang#jack talks#sun warriors#book 3#what is it with me having a whole separate post in the tags 👁️👄👁️
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I NEED TO BE OBNOXIOUS ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVED THAT ACE ATTORNEY LAWBLR SIM YOU MADE BECAUSE OH MY GOD IT MADE ME LOSE MY SHIT. I definitely can tell you put genuine effort into making that silly little thang and I wish that it would have 10,000 notes like right this minute. Hellsite hall of fame if you’re reading this please reblog this person’s ace attorney lawblr sim because it deserves an award
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i think this is one of the nicest asks i've ever gotten thank you so so much (I'M RAMBLING IN THE TAGS SO MUCH BTW. if you want insight into the thought process or anything)
#honestly it was really fun to make !!#i like thinking about posts people would make#i definitely could've put more steel samurai posts in but i forgor.#perhaps if i ever make a second !!#it would also have to include at least one 'happy almost christmas to those who celebrate' 'who is putting this on my dash it is JUNE'#i feel like almost christmas would become a meme on lawblr#the only things stopping me from making another are a not enough post ideas#and b i don't want to be the unnecessary sequels guy#i think my biggest struggle was with usernames lol#since they would have had to be related to law in general or the trials specifically#or in other cases regular generic usernames. or the two gavinners fans#making up a username for a fandom is a lot harder when you can't acknowledge that it's a piece of media /lh#like nobody would be able to have an url referencing unnecessary feelings because nobody on lawblr would know that was said#forever going to be thinking about courtofwaw#a large chunk of usernames on it are from my ocs tbh. i have usernames picked out for them#one of them is just one of my friends' blogs shoutout to rubie for volunteering to be perjury girl#i think one was one of my old usernames#it was that and it was finding the emojis#favorites are definitely courtofwaw and just--ice#i can't explain why waw is so funny sorry#THIS GOT REALLY LONG#basically oh my god thank you so so much you mean the world to me /p#save#<- i am saving this post because it will singlehandedly fix me i think if i ever get sad#most of this kind of just started as 'i bet in the aa universe there's wild discourse about this'#also if i do make a second post. i'm stealing my 'you guys couldn't even handle manfred von karma' post#SOMEONE would make it. idk who but i know someone would make that post unironically.#also one final note !!#none of the characters in the post were MEANT to be canon aa characters#however if anyone SEEMS like they would be i would LOVE to hear it tbh
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mumblesplash · 2 years
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getting better at drawing when you’re not trying for realism is kinda funny bc it’s like wow now my art looks even MORE like the exact midpoint between old-school disney and late 2010s anime. i didn’t think it was possible and yet i’ve done it again. inspiring
#and soon? even More.#there’s also the additional layer of not being able to explain what about my art is better than it used to be#like idk what to tell u it’s just better now. all my old stuff is crap compared to this. leaps and bounds#source: dude trust me#tbh i think my artistic abilities probably seem much more consistent from an outside pov#bc i never want to draw anything i can’t draw#like if i TRIED to draw that cuteguy stoplight drawing a few months ago it would have looked terrible#but i wouldn’t have tried bc i wouldn’t have wanted to bc i couldn’t you see#that’s the thing about art it never feels any easier#if you start out frustrated by your skill falling short of your vision guess what#your vision will continue to improve as you gain skill and that frustration never goes away#but it also never feels any harder#my first experience with drawing was being pleasantly surprised to find my skill slightly exceeded my aspirations#(i was 3 and my aspirations were draw a duck)#and you know what. to this day the pleasant surprise remains#what i’m saying is dream small stay in your comfort zone and do not strive for great things#cannot recommend complacency enough#this isn’t sports you don’t get gains through effort you get gains and then the effort happens on accident#don’t listen to me i probably don’t know what i’m talking about#but i AM having more fun drawing than you so maybe i’m onto something#impossible to say#i’m certainly not smart enough to figure that out i’m an idiot have you seen the kind of advice i give#mumbling
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Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)
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#twitter and other short form shit and everything being a Phone App On Small Screen instead of a Proper#Computer Website i feel like has just ruined the format of literally everything for me. Thoughts just keep getting more and more condensed#with detail and nuance taken away. everything over simplified into only the basics. blah blah blah. I've already probably rambled about thi#all before but it's just SO frustrating. I literally just CAN NOT talk that way!!! even if I try!!! I took multiple advanced placement#english & language arts classes in school and I literally never made below an A on any assignment EVER except for ESSAYS#where I would legit get almost failing grades just because I cannt express myself concisely. I took an english placement test thats made to#like evaluate your competency in a subject and out of the 102 multiple choice questions I only missed TWO of them. almost a perfect#score. But for the 5 open response questions (about articulating thoughts succinctly) I did not get a single one of them lol#I only got partial credit on 3. It's like I OBVIOUSLY understand the material and I know how Words Work and how to analyze and interpret#meaning and etc. etc. But it's just when I have to express myself CLEANLY I can't. It's always ''well you have very good points and you#get around to the idea eventually and I think it's very insightful - but it just needs to be shorter/the side tangent needs to be removed/#etc.'' I've always wondered if it has something to do with being on the schizophrenia spectrum and how that can cause disorganized#speech sometimes hmm..ANYWAY.. But I just naturally express myself in a very particular way which is lengthy and I can't rea#ly seem to control it. So it's basically like just.. being gradually pushed out of every place that won't accomodate people with different#ways of like perceiving and expressing or etc. Everything cannot ALWAYS be 100% 'Short and Snappy and To The Point' or a quippy one#liner or the Bare Minimum of information being provided or etc. Some peoples brains just do not work like that!!!!! Sorry I operate#in detail and elaboration lol. ANYWAY.. I still sometimes use random ''dating sites'' like OKCupid to look for platonic friends since#I never leave the house so it's hard for me to just meet friends naturally. And I just realized today that they added a RIDICULOUSLY small#character limit to their messaging system (2000 words?? augh). And also took away answer explanations (when you answer a compatibility#question you used to have a space to give detail and explain why you answered the way you did) and removed a few other features and it's ju#t like.. how the fuck is any of this actually helpful in terms of judging compatibility? take away ALL nuance and anyting that actually#is meant to tell you anything about a person? Bumble's character limits for your profile description are even more fucking insane and so#is every other disgustingly minimalistic place I've seen like.. OKC used to be superior BECAUSE it allowed for a TON of detail. like back i#2016 or something there was SO much data you could look at. long form question answers. personality trait summaries. etc. Now you have#SOO little to judge off of when evaluating compatibiility it's like. You'd have better luck just throwing a dart in a crowded street and#talking to whoever it hits. Why are people so fucking allergic to reading anything longer than 3 words and providing DETAILS!! It just seem#harder and harder to find any place to meet platonic friends where you have any amount of actual data to go off of and it isnt basically#just random 'speed dating' set up shit. AARGH. &I know 'oh just join a club& meet ppl irl' 1. erm..covid. 2.I mostly want to meet ppl#in places I'd like to move so I already know ppl when I get there. You kind of HAVE to do that online. bc I am not there yet.. WISHING for#Complexity.Com where ppl can upload full 900 page psychological files of themselves. MINIMUM profile character limit 30k words lol
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byanyan · 8 months
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while byan's dyslexia and ptsd is a little up in the air in terms of diagnosis, they have been given a diagnosis of conduct disorder and oppositional defiant disorder through the mandatory counselling and the various psychiatric evaluations they've had throughout their life. ptsd, adhd, dyslexia, and depression are all assumed to be present as well, based on observation and information provided by teachers, caretakers, and foster parents, but remain unconfirmed due to byan's tendency to be extremely difficult with psychiatrists and psychologists and the inconsistency of the amount of time spent with those who have provided outside observation.
byan has, of course, never been cooperative in any treatment.
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byakuyasdarling · 1 year
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I’m so tired of seeing people police others’ language and assume they are (x, y, z) or mean (x, y, z) from harmless phrases and word choice. Like if it irks you, fine I get it. But if you genuinely think someone is horrible and awful or thinks something irrepressible for a cutesy word or phrase they use that ultimately means NOTHING — genuinely touch grass.
// obviously not about slurs — I mean words like ‘blorbo’ or those in a similar vein. Last time I checked, it wasn’t problematic so I’m operating under that supposition.
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worstloki · 2 years
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Thor absolutely does have a pussy, it just wasn’t mentioned in the films because they were pg 13 rated, my source: the man serves cunt daily <3 -thot-son-of-odin
so true <3
#Thor courting Jane and then abandoning her for like two years bc he doesn't want to explain the downstairs situation#like Jane just (fairly enough) assumed what she was getting with#and now Thor is post-TDW living on Earth again and actively courting with Jane again and covering for the facts#Jane: not to rush you or anything but usually making out leads to...#Thor: ICE CREAM#Jane: what?#Thor: we've run out I should get us some more#Jane: oh um. okay :)#Jane is like i know they live for a very long time but this is a VERY slow dating process so how do I speed it up a bit?#and Darcy is like don't ask me all the dating I've done is practically hit and run#Jane trying to hint to Thor that she's okay to move on to doing more as a couple and talking about what Earth couples do/how fast they go#and Thor is there super happy like I SHALL SEARCH FOR YOU A WORTHY ENGAGEMENT RING. TOMORROW. I MUST SEEK ONE.#Thor sweating and avoiding secx where he takes his pants off at all costs dsjfbdsjf#he feels like the ground will swallow him whole not bc of the situation but bc he went along with Jane assuming he has a dong#now he's got to pretend and it's not going well dhfdjf#idk if Loki is amused watching this go down on Earth but like if he's there with Thor then#Jane: do Asgardians have sex while 'courting'? am i missing something? does Thor want this relationship or no?#Loki (is now exactly aware of the situation): i think you just need to try harder#Jane: is it rude for me to try and nudge him into it?#Loki: go for it. more than a nudge even. he can be very bullheaded sometimes#Jane: thanks :)#Loki: no worries :) good luck :)#Thor rushing into his apartment with Loki all panicked and not telling Loki what happened#VS Loki who knows exactly what happened from Jane/Darcy's plotting already#it's actually even funnier if Jane is like 'do Asgardians not have sex?? how far in a relationship does it happen??'#while Darcy is there like 'idk dude i banged Loki he seemed fine'#Jane to Sif: can i get some advice about Thor? you're one of his closest friends and--does he have some kind of issues physically mentally#Sif: no he beds people all the time#Thor sobbing in his room like why does she keep trying to meet my hypothetical fantasy lonesome dong#dfcgvbhjn
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quaranmine · 2 years
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read all the tags on timedeo's post about mischaracterization and screenshot so many good ones lol. sometimes posts like that make me self-conscious (in some sort of like....rsd sort of way where i know it aint about me but still somehow upsets me) but today im like YEAHHH LETS TALK CHARACTER ANALYSIS! which is nice
anyway i feel rather confident in my characterizations of hermits after reading much of that--however i feel like my issue is that i find character analysis very easy (former dsmpanalysis mod anyone?) but the writing part very hard. so it's like. i know what a character needs to be like but i have difficulty incorporating that knowledge into like. day-to-day actions and dialogue. i feel like i do ok at some but other than that it's like some distant nebulous thing in my brain that i get but also cant access. i feel confident that i get a lot of the hermits but not at all confident that people could see that in my writing. idk. theres so many aspects of writing that i find difficult, like it's just on the edge of my mind but not quite in reach, and this is one of them
anyway. i do what i can?
my fave call-out though was the handful of people who were like "stop making mumbo so emotionally intelligent in fics" which straight up made me laugh out loud because i Know that's possibly the biggest characterization problem with HTBAHB, and to that all i can say is 1) is what it is 2) i found it cathartic and 3) plot-wise he very significantly absolutely cannot apply any of this logic to himself.
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