#the more i think about this season the more it reminds me of the mechanisms

[i-am-terrowin]

dismension 20 neverafter spoilers

so i just rewatched episode 2 with my dad and started thinking about things. ive been avoiding spoilers because i havent watched the third episode yet, so idk if all these things have been said already or not but im gonna say them anyway to get them out of my brain.

so at this point we know that Pinoccios stepmother is also cinderella and snow white's stepmother because the door was in cinderellas house and the mirror told pinoccio to take it back to her with her presumably being his stepmother. The woman in the book wearing the glass armor is also probably cinderlla because of the glass shard that she shoved through the fairy godmother's chest and it would make sense because cinderellas whole thing is the glass slipper. the woman who is probably cinderella was referred to as rosamund's sister and the stepmother and mirror both said that something was following her and that they were her sisters so what if the stepmother is also rosamund's mother. after rosamund fell asleep for a hundred years maybe she started doing some terrible dark magic to keep herself alive long enough to see her daughter and that's why she ate her daughters after cinderella left and killed all of the parents and pinoccio in his backstory shes killing people and eating them to be alive long enough to see her daughter again. and now that rosamund is awake again shes controlling her stepdaughters to find her and she was using pinoccio to find her location out of some sick idea that they might be a normal family again.

aside from that the stories of cinderella, sleeping beauty, and snow white all had prince charming's and based on the fact that all of the stepmother's are the same person, what if prince charming was also the same person. im pretty sure the frog prince was also called prince charming in at least a couple iterations of the story, so what if Gerard was the prince charming in all of those stories in the neverafter. he said he was a bit of a rapscallion or something like that and that's what got him turned into a frog, but what if that was somehow related to the tale of snow white or cinderella. in both of said tales the prince charming goes directly against something that the stepmother wants to happen which could have resulted in her turning him into a frog. now i dont really think that gerard would be rosamund's prince charming because it doesnt really fit with her story line and i think the true love that woke her up was the obsessive protective love of the briar's that wanted to keep her safe finally reaching her lips and it seems like her story is more realizing that her value doesn't revolve around a prince coming to save her and she has to keep herself safe rather than waiting to be saved by someone else, but they may be more connected than they seem. on the other hand gerard is not at all capable of fending for himself so it could be that she finds herself saving her prince instead of the other way around.

[neil-gaiman]

Hi Neil.

I know you are flooded with asks and this somehow became extremely long. Too long. “Why am I suddenly telling this poor man my life story?” too long. “I think I’d rather he work on the GO3 script than read this wild beast” too long. “He’s going to think you’re criminally dangerously insane” too long. If you never get to it, I’m good with never seeing a response from you. Maybe it’s better that way? Maybe an anon would have been nice here. But, it’s 2024, so I say “we ball.” It’s a privilege to be able to send this to you at all. You get a lot to this effect and I hope they give you good feels, so maybe what’s the harm, yeah? Because this is not an ask. This is a thank you letter.

First, thanks for reblogging my therapist post, I hope it amused you. I nearly sent you “How am i supposed to explain this to my therapist?!” But refrained. At that time.

So, therapy. What is therapy really? Well…

Things have been really rotten for as long as I can remember. Bad health, bad doctors, bad relationships, bad coping mechanisms, bad all kinds of things. (Yeah, bad is a weak and unhelpful word, my therapist reminds me, but we’re doing this.)

Well, things got even more really really rotten and BAD these last few years. Health declined further, coping mechanisms declined further and more intensely, packed up my life, applied for disability, moved back in with my parents across the country.

Then 4 years ago last week I watched my fiance die of a sudden heart attack. I was 29. Two years later my best friend died. Then last summer I sauntered vaguely into a cancer scare. Not long before an operation my cat who has been my companion through so much garbage died as well. I’m not entirely in the clear on the cancer scare front. All my attempts at going back to work, volunteering, going to grad school - they collapsed on me because I couldn’t get through this STUFF.

(Sometimes when I talk about this, when I tell people, I think “they are going to think you are a raging pathological liar.” Because I’m not sure I would believe someone if they told me all of this happened to them. In such a short time period. All before they were 35. And hell if that hasn’t been isolating. You know how it sounds? Lonely. And it is.)

I did the hypervigilant and sensation/experience chasing stage of PTSD. It got me in a lot of trouble in all kinds of ways. I had to do a lot of medical and psych advocating because things kept getting worse. That was exhausting. Then that peaked. I went into the thick of the “I feel absolutely nothing” stage for a long time. I didn’t feel fatigue or hunger or thirst. Not people, feelings, a reason. Not hope.

But of course, like seems be for a lot of us, I somehow found Good Omens at just the right time. I was a very “I’m so cool and intellectual I mostly consume non-fiction media” person for too long. Like, what? How is that even a real thing? And it wasn’t real. It was just part of this curated autism mask that I don’t think anyone really bought anyway.

I think I got to a point where I’d just had too much reality. I needed fantasy. I didn’t realize I always needed it. But I denied myself for too many odd and painful reasons. Maybe I thought it was an escape I didn’t deserve.

But as it turns out, it wasn’t an escape. I watched both seasons last fall, and then this light came on. I watched it again and again.

I came to tumblr because I needed more. I found this fandom. I stepped into this beautiful world of fanart and fanfiction and brain flexing meta writing and a sense of community and wonder that you and Terry created - that everyone involved in the show inflated - exploded in the right way - like fireworks if fireworks were some kind of autocatalytic reaction - a self perpetuating force.

It’s not a “saved my life” feeling. Not a “getting my life back” feeling. It’s been a “maybe it’s time for you to have the life you’ve always been denied - that you’ve denied yourself” feeling.

I’m creating. I’m not “great” yet. Not terribly “good” at all. Maybe “behind” as far as the “proper” timeline for starting. I know there isn’t one, not really, but boy does that society machine make ya feel like there is. And sure, I started and stopped a lot in the past. But the second it got hard I always gave up. I felt like if I didn’t get it “right” to begin with, then I just didn’t have it in me at all. But for once I’m really in it. I’m writing and trying to draw things that look less like fever dream five year old drawings. (Not that there’s anything wrong with those, is there? 🙃) I’m eating better. I’m sleeping better. I reach out to old friends more. I’ve made new friends who share this love of Good Omens.

My therapist has been floored by the change in me. After that first funny mini flop, he has been so encouraging about it. I saw him this week and I said “Maybe this is helping me get prepared to start living again. Maybe it’s a springboard.” And he honest to god said “But You ARE living. This is YOU LIVING. Why does it have to be a springboard? Why do you have to turn this into ‘work?’ Just let yourself have this for once in your life.”

But there were two more added elements that made it all work. And I can’t help but think this whole brainrot thing wouldn’t have happened without them. So many things just happened all at just the right time - a proper coincidence.

In all of the madness of the last few years I finally got the memo that I'm autistic. i figured I was for a while. But it finally sunk in for me and my docs and my people. So I’d been working on unpacking that. Grieving the life that could have been entirely different, shedding the mask. I let myself hyperfixate openly instead of hiding it and hating myself for “spiralling” or “obsessing” like others -!like ‘I’ always punished myself for before we knew that it was a trait and not a personality flaw.

Then over the last few months my therapist and I started trying this new exercise. One session he stopped me and said “in the last 20 minutes you have responded to what I’ve said with 9 ‘I knows.’” My response to that? “Ugh, I know.” So we started this “I know” swear jar type situation. Really, I’ve been afraid of not knowing. I couldn’t let myself “not know.” Because it meant I was “dumb.” I was just drowning for so long in guilt and self loathing for the “I knew better and screwed up anyway.” Or ��I should’ve known better - I should know that by now.”

As it turns out, there’s a lot of things I don’t know. That I didn’t know. Things I will never know. And refusing to admit all of that kept me from learning a damn thing. Kept me from asking questions. Kept me from trying new things because it was scary to do something new - something unknown - and I "knew" how it would all turn out anyway. Kept me from connecting with people because it was painful or embarrassing when they knew things I didn’t and it seemed like I already should have. Kept me from getting better at making art, music, writing. Kept me from forgiving myself. Kept me from growing. And kept me from moving forward. Maybe not on. I don’t know if we ever “move on” from things. But we can move forward as we carry them. And as we do, the weight gets less. We’re able to carry it better. But only if we can admit that we don’t know how. Only if we don’t treat ourselves like this is something we do know or should know and we’re just failing because we’re less than. Not good enough. Not strong enough. Not deserving. We have to be able to say “I don’t know how to do this.” And then we can start looking for the answers. We can ask. We can learn.

I thought about the apple. Being able to tell the difference between good and evil. Aziraphale’s years and years of watching what he “knows” to be true be proven wrong. Crowley’s need to ask questions…

The simple and enormous gift of “Knowledge.” The “Knowledge” of the difference between Good and Evil. The “Knowledge” that can only be gained by realizing, accepting, admitting that there are things we don’t know. Asking the questions. Sometimes we get answers we don’t like. Sometimes the consequences of asking hurt us. And unless you want to stay in that painful place that painful knowledge got you, well, you’ve got to let yourself learn how to get out.

So all of this good? I never expected this. I never thought I deserved it. Joy and belonging and this sense that “Yeah, maybe things can get better. Maybe things can be good.” Because I said those things, not truly believing them, to the people I thought needed to hear it. But it couldn’t save them. It was hollow. The proof for us wasn’t really in our orbit or on our radar at the time. And now they’re gone.

People always say “it’s never too late.”

One of the people I lost said “it’s later than you think.”

I jokingly would respond “it’s already too late.”

It was for him in the end. For them. For some people I guess it really is. But maybe a lot of the “too late” people are there because they think “they know” that things will never be good for them. So they stop looking, they stop asking, stop finding. And eventually they just stop.

Then there came Crowley’s “It’s always too late.” The first time I heard it I thought “For sure, Crowley-cakes, I KNOW.”

But then…I just needed to rewatch the whole thing. And lines like that…familiar things…familiar themes…I was suddenly identifying with these characters. I suddenly saw myself. And the realization hit - I connected with something! Something new. And I FELT THAT. And that tiny little crack that made in the wall was just enough to start breaking it down. Yeah, when you start letting yourself feel after not feeling for so long, opening up to the good feelings means opening up to feelings and then the bad ones come out too. But when there IS good … it helps you balance. You can deal with the bad a little better because you’ve got the good thing to lean against when it gets too much. And now you’ve got feelings. You’ve got good and bad. You’ve got sticky foggy grey. You’ve got life.

Whew.

So, TLDR, thank you. From the bottom of my slowly healing heart, thank you.

And to sign off with some shits and giggles… I couldn’t find this in existence as a sticker so I had to custom order. Perhaps this will spread misery and panic among the humans of my city - or at least a malignant and creepy sense of unease.

Or maybe they’ll say “wtf” and go home and google it and they’ll fall into the Good Omens hole they never knew they needed too.

Thank you for this. I never quite know what to say to messages like this apart from I am really glad that it helps. (It becomes the weird extra piece that I worry about when writing season 3 -- hoping that it will be that thing again. Not just a story, but something that helps people feel and helps with healing and helps with love.)

[single-malt-scotch]

i think something that has hit me with SL and now WL is the way gimmicks push the "narrative" rather than survival makes me feel like im watching a game show rather than a survival show. i understand as content creators that they want something there to lead the videos and engage with but, as i have felt and expressed before, when they force results to a series where surviving to stay alive feels cheated or manipulated, i feel like theyve lost the plot of what "Life SMP" even started as.

it is conflicting with this season being multiple gimmicks technically but, when i think about it too i was already worried at the vibe of a new season feeling like theyre running out a gimmicks. and now we have a whole season to run through loads of gimmicks lol. which can be good and bad, and in this case it may start to feel bad if said gimmicks get harder and force what the snails forced this session-- the flow of the entire episodes, and easily shifting the lifespan and survival of a player just with one touch.

you cant argue on the fact that the Life series is about having limited lives and not dying, and the way this occurrs changes every season. but from 3L to LimL the things that cause death are other players, the existense of their limited lives, or the 'environment' of vanilla minecraft. LimL only shifted slightly by making lives count down regardless of dying, but it was hardly a twisted in reality. SL made a change towards have i felt was more game-y/content creation focused by making it so that tasks they were forced to do, could result in their deaths, some being blatantly dangerous

WL going from 'haha they get small or big' and the deaths from it being accidents by bugs (which sucks but did not create a huge issue in the end), to 'snail you will instantly die to and there is nothing you can do to stop it' is a pretty big jump from session 1 still basically being vanilla and session 3 being unbalanced and making cause of death forced upon the player in a way that did not work with vanilla survival at all. its like if they just had a creeper following them all session, but instead its just masked with a cute snail. a creeper following you all session isnt 'normal' so it falls out of fashion with how seasons previous to SL felt.

part of me hopes WL can exhaust the feeling of having "gimmicks" not even remotely related to limited lives and next season they can refresh with like... classic 3L mechanic instead. and get a break. i dont want to say things feel "forced" but SL and not this episode were way too strongly shaped by the gimmicks to where i dont feel like im thinking about this being a "Life SMP" series at times, and only reminded when someone suddenly dies in a way that felt random or uncontrolled

[amirasainz]

Hi loves, if you want more drivers and wags drabbles, don't be shy to request something!

I hope you'll like this one. I will also add a masterlist soon! Please send some requests(can be only driver, drivers and wags or Sainz family), I need some inspiration!

(Wish me luck, I am writing a physics exam tomorrow)

-XoXo

Chaos before her arrival

Chaos. Everywhere at the grid was chaos. People are running left and right. Mercedes mechanics carrying flower bouquets in their garage. McLaren bringing an extra princess like sofa in theirs. Ferrari has three personal chefs at the motorhome.

One might think the royal family is coming to the grand prix. But one wouldn't be so wrong. In fact, Amira Sainz, the paddock princess and littlest sister of Carlos Sainz, was attending her first GP after the winter break.

With staying in Colombia for filming the 3rd season of Narcos, babygirl didn't have a lot of time to attend her big brothers GPs.

On one hand, Carlos was thankful that his baby sister wasn't surrounded by the drivers and their crazy girlfriends.

I mean, can you believe the audacity from Lily and Alex to go shopping with his baby sister because:" Baby, you look so warm, let's get you some shorter clothes to cool you off"(Alex) and "Baby, I saw this really cute handbag for 30k and it reminded me of you. Let's go get it!We can be all matchy-matchy" (Lily)

Or George and Carmen with their "Sweetheart you have to come to London with us. We can have our own tea party the mansion from Downtown Abby and wear our Tommy Hilfiger clothes and...."

Or Pierre and Kika and their "good hearted" invitation to Portugal because, apparently, babygirl is looking too pale. So she has to spend the whole winter break in a villa with only one bedroom (ups) and a private beach with them. Obviously!

But the worst of them all were Charles and Alex. Carlos can't even think about it. The last time his sister came to visit the grid, Charles had the audacity to give her a sparkling pink La Ferrari. And if that wasn't enough, he and Alexandra had to drive her around the city (let's be honest, our girl can't drive. But that's OK, cause she is pretty) with her sitting in Alex lap to "get the full driving experience cherie"

So, as you can see, Carlos wasn't very happy to have his sister attending a GP with these demons around her. His poor angel, nearly getting eaten alive by those monsters (is he dramatic? Yes. Does Carlos care? Absolutely not!)

But Carlos heart, mind and soul hurt the whole time she was in Colombia. What do mean his darling sister isn't by his side or by their family. She's just a baby! What if someone robbed her? Or her car gets stuck? Or worse, she has to go buy things with her OWN money?!

No, Carlos couldn't live with that thought either. So either way, their wasn't really a good solution to his problem.

When he saw all the teams acting crazy, decorating their garages, how his sister likes them and cleaning EVERYTHING, his blood was boiling. His baby, darling sister is staying in HIS team garage, on HIS half. (I'm looking at you, Charles and Alexandra)

However, the last straw for him was when he saw all the wags waiting by the entrance for Amira. They stood at the entrance like hinters waiting for their prey.

Oh Carlos could feel the grey hairs growing

And Amira? During the whole fiasco, babygirl was in the spa getting ready for her exhausting day. Looking pretty the whole time and watching the race IS pretty exhausting. Our poor babygirl🥺

@stinkyjax @khaylin27 @xoscar03

[wife-of-all-dilfs]

from the flames | b. blake

masterlist

summary: season three — to signify the newly recognised alliance between the sky people and the grounders, a celebration is held within polis’ market square. a bonfire, alcohol, and the bawdy pulsation of drums is a sure-fire recipe for a stimulating night. add a watchful bellamy blake and his dancing muse into the mix, and, well… i’ll show you the consequences of such a potent combination.

pairing: bellamy blake x fem!reader

warnings: alcohol consumption/intoxication, sensual dancing, jealousy, sexual desecration??, mild possessiveness, arguments, bellamy speaking in trigedaslang (giggling and kicking my feet), dialogue-heavy, manhandling, mild angst, smut, unprotected p in v (do not), reader is short because i’m short, deal with it <3

notes: i haven’t recently been watching the 100 so the timeline and characterisation may be a little off. also, ik this took me a long ass time, but i’m gonna try and make sure the next two parts come out a little quicker <3 i love y’all!

word count: 2.5k

“People of Kongeda and Skaikru, tonight we gather as one, united by a common purpose and a shared future of alliance. Before us, this bonfire symbolises more than just a flame; it is a beacon of hope, an opportunity to cleanse old grudges and pain that has divided us for far too long.

“Let this fire signify a new beginning and serve as a reminder that unity is not our weakness, but our strength. Let it be known that from this day, we join not as enemies, but as allies, and anyone set upon spilling the blood of our allies is spilling the blood of us all. Let it be known: Jus drein, jus daun!”

“Jus drein, jus daun!”

As much as Lexa’s words intended to inspire harmony, the crowd massed below the second-floor balcony of the dominating tower she resided on reacted in any way but. Fierce declarations of worship were cried out; large fists were pumped in celebration; and misty clouds of brew and saliva were sprayed into the tepid night air.

All was well, for the first time since we landed on Earth.

“Happy Unity Day,” I murmured to myself, taking a sip from the metal cup in my hand. I was standing on the outer edges of the unruly crowd of dark, rugged figures, who were surrounding an unlit wooden mountain and raving as it abruptly burst into vociferous flames.

The monstrous tepee of sticks was raging at the centre of Polis’ trading square, an open area bordered with stalls and operating food vendors that infused the air with a salivating meaty aroma. Glimmers of light chipped away into the familiar starry night above and an orange ambience was cast throughout the square, seeming to blaze beneath the skin of those who orbited the fire.

It was a somewhat perplexing scene: to be together as one people, celebratingratherthan being at war with one another.

A pensive mechanic stepped in beside me, eyeing the mixed crowd of Grounders and Sky People.

Raven folded her arms over her chest. “Don’t you think the fact that the Ark originally had thirteen stations and the coalition now has thirteen clans is kind of…”

“Unsettling?” I finished for her. “Yeah. Probably best not tell these guys the story of how Polaris got blown out of the sky. Don’t want to give them any ideas.”

“Polaris… Polis…” she continued contemplating. “Think there’s anything equally unsettling about that?”

I looked at Raven. She looked back at me.

I sucked in a sharp breath—“I’m not drunk enough for this conversation”—and tipped the harsh contents of my cup down my throat. The liquid was molten in both its ferocity and colour and was infused with some potent earthly spice; it was a blow to the stomach upon consumption.

“Is that such a good idea?” Raven asked, judging me as my head craned back to capture the last few drops of throat-scorching goodness. “I’m all for pouring a glass when the occasion calls for it, but these people have stomachs lined with steel—what do you think yours is made of?”

I grimaced at the taste. “You tell me. You’re the genius.”

The roll of her eyes was deafening. “I’m just saying, they’ve probably spent decades perfecting their drinks to suit them, to match their tolerances. I mean, even that human fountain over there couldn’t handle it.” She nodded towards a cluster of barrels where a titan of a man wearing armoured shoulder pads and breastplates was hunched over, violently emptying his stomach onto the cobbled ground.

I swallowed my own stomach at the sight.

“I just assumed you wanted to spend the night somewhat differently,” she said, a sweet undertone of provocation twisting her words.

My brows furrowed, and I turned to face her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Her lips twitched at the corners—never a good sign.

The thing was, I knew exactly what she meant. Her unspoken words had already been circling my mind for days, weeks, months even, increasingly accumulating with both heat and fervour.

As ironic as it was, I think it’s fitting to compare my situation to that of a star’s formation.

There I was, a delinquent sitting stagnant in a cold nebula of misery in the Sky Box, parted from my family and friends, sent hurtling to Earth to die, only then to have my cold, miserable cloud intruded upon by a fiery presence, a head of tousled brown waves and a pair of rich, dark chocolate eyes.

An awakener. An activator.

This intruder began filling my head with his words, his laughter, his brooding stare. The weight of his presence began to grow; thoughts of him consumed me. From the most surprisingly vulnerable conversations to even the tensest arguments, he had a heat inside me swirling and it was sweltering to unfathomable heights. It showed no signs of stopping.

Raven’s malevolent brown eyes were pointing plainly at something far behind me as if to answer my question. I knew what I would see even before turning around to look, but moronic as I was, I looked anyway.

Chin hovering over my shoulder, my eyes wandered through the scattered crowd of Grounders and Sky People alike that loitered the bonfire’s outskirts. There, sandwiched between Lincoln and an unoccupied trading stall, was a face that not only had my stomach contents lodged in my throat, but my heart as well.

Bellamy.

He was standing with his arms crossed, each one concealed beneath his distressed guard jacket. And although his stance screamed ‘Don’t talk to me,’ his face said otherwise. He and Lincoln were engaged in some high-spirited conversation, much unlike themselves (although the supply of drinks may have been to blame). Bellamy was speaking through one of his overconfident half-grins while alternating between gesturing to-and-fro with a single hand and tucking it back under his opposing bicep.

My chest was burning; the bonfire somehow must’ve seeped into my heart.

It should be stated here that when a nebula accumulates enough particles, it turns into a protostar—not a main sequence star like our sun, but something that holds the potential to be. At this point, the formation is at its most precarious. If a sufficient amount of mass is not acquired, the protostar will fail to stabilise and will cool into a brown dwarf, forever existing in the cold, lonely expansion of space as a reminder of what it could have been.

Bellamy’s head gravitated in my direction. Our eyes met through the asteroid belt of rugged figures between us. My breath caught in my throat, and I turned back around.

A reminder of what it could have been.

Sometimes I worry my insufficiency has damned me already.

“Oh, my god.” I squeezed my eyes shut. “Oh my god, Raven, why would you put me through that?”

“In the hopes that you’ll finally grow a pair and do something about it,” she replied, taking a sip of her drink to conceal her smirk.

“About what?” Now I was just being evasive.

She let out a frustrated huff and folded her arms over one another. Her countenance was a reflection of impatience: the raised eyebrows, the slight downward tilt of her head, the pursed lips. I almost laughed at her theatricality; then again, I almost cried because I didn’t want the reason behind it to be true.

I wanted Bellamy Blake.

The confession was boiling inside me; it was burning the tip of my tongue, and I knew I had to let it out to cool. And if the words were never spoken to him, then they at least had to be expressed to someone else, even if I never admitted them in the exactness I felt, for the exact words would be so heinous, so—hedonistic, that if anyone were to hear them, I’d be thrown into lock-up for the rest of my days.

“Fine, I guess I’m… attracted to Bellamy,” I spoke slowly, cringing at my own words. Raven’s face immediately lit up like an overzealous Christmas tree, her smugly curved lips parting to no doubt release an incongruous stew of condemnation and encouragement, which I stopped before it could even start. “Anattraction that I am not going to act on, Raven; our friendship is rocky enough as it is. I mean,” I scoffed, “have I even told how we first met? I held a pocketknife to his neck our second night on the ground because he threatened to pry off my wristband in my sleep. And he actually tried! You know that tiny scar he has on his cheek? That was from me!”

“Yeah, sometimes I forget how much of a self-righteous dick he was for a while there,” Raven mused. Her face then screwed with confusion. “Wait, how did you two even become friends? Because when I came down, you were at each other’s throats every single day over one thing or another, and then out of nowhere, it was as if the slate had been wiped clean.”

Ah.

The day the slate had been wiped clean.

A thick blurriness blanketed my vision as my mind withdrew from the present. You know when you get run down with some kind of sickness and your mind gets all scrambled and foggy? Like a fever dream? That’s what that day seemed like to me. Too many unimaginable things had happened, too many emotions and losses were felt, and I’d only shared them with one person before.

“You still there?”

My gaze flickered to Raven momentarily. She was staring at me, half with impatience, half with concern. “Just—” I raised my hand slightly in front of me “—give me a second.”

I inhaled. One, two, three. And I exhaled. Three, two, one.

A vulnerable creature of some sort nestled in my brain, softening the tone of my voice as I hesitantly began, “It was the, uh, the day the Exodus Ship crashed. My dad was on it,” I said, my last words barely audible. “Knowing that he was gone was one thing, but watching the ship crash? That messed me up for a good while.”

Raven, taken aback, muttered her apologies. I just shook my head in return. I sucked in a sharp breath, forcing the memory into the cobwebbed corners of my mind, and then continued, “Bellamy had found me in the woods that night. It wasn’t exactly a pretty sight. I think that seeing me in such a vulnerable state forced him to set aside his asshole-ry for a while because he actually managed to… comfort me.”

I remembered the tone of his voice, so shockingly gentle yet hardened in his trademarked sort of way as he reassured me endlessly that I would be okay. I remembered the warmth of his body as I lay crumpled and sobbing in his lap on the forest floor, clinging onto his arm as if it kept me from plummeting into a bottomless pit. I remembered his hands, swiping away the thousands of tears that streaked my face, the hair from my eyes.

I remembered our brief conversation as we walked back to camp: “I won’t tell anyone. I promise,” he had said, to which I whispered, “Thank you,” and after a short pause, he spoke again, “We all need someone sometimes. I know we don’t have the best history together but… I can be that someone if you ever need,” and then, once more, with an unwelcome flutter in my stomach, I whispered, “Thank you.”

A small, bittersweet smile lifted my lips. My voice sounded distant to my ears as I continued speaking. “We still nicked at each other here and there after that—that tension between us has never really disappeared—but there was also this new mutual understanding. And somewhere from mutual understanding came a rough-around-the-edges friendship, and then friendship turned into something else.” I paused to recollect my thoughts. “Well, for me, at least.”

Between the moment I started speaking to the moment I stopped, my gaze had wandered sheepishly to the toes of my boots. I felt so exposed, like the outer layers of my being had been cracked open to reveal a part of my soul to a girl I hadn’t even known existed until two months ago. Suddenly I remembered why I didn’t drink often.

I stood awkwardly, waiting. The weight of my confession and vulnerability were looming above us.

Raven was quiet; she made no witty remark or tease. Her eyes had only softened with understanding, shifting back and forth as my words were mulled over in her brain. And it was only from her foreign silence that I realised what her next question could be: why don’t you just tell him?

I began, “I don’t want to ruin—"

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” she finally interrupted, shaking her head as if to dismiss my unspoken sentiment. “The age-old ‘I don’t want to ruin what we have right now’. But what exactly is that?” Her eyes once again interrogated mine. “Because I’ll make it clear to you right now and say that what you two have is not just friendship. Come on. You and Bellamy?” She shifted her head to catch my drifting gaze. “Anyone with eyes can see something is there, but clearly, neither of you have a pair.”

Talk about tough love.

A harsh outflow of air exited my nose, and I pushed my hair back out of my face. Everything was much more complicated than I thought it was. Was I really as blind as Raven said? I would have already seen what she does if it were true, right? Did Bellamy really feel the same?

Am I drunk?

I glanced behind me once more, catching a glimpse of Bellamy tilting his head back to finish his drink, exposing the sculptured column of his neck. Heat flushed through my cheeks.

Christ. I couldn’t let this one go. There wasn’t a chance.

“What am I supposed to do?” I asked, still watching him.

An uproar of hoots and howls exploded throughout the square as the sound of drums and horns began to play, bringing my attention to the second-floor balcony of the Commander’s Tower where the noise floated down from. Drums pulsed with bawdy rhythm; horns bellowed with lewd backbone; a woman purred tribal vocalisations.

Bodies began swaying in disharmonious synchronisation around the bonfire, in pairs, in groups, individually. What tethered them was the raunchiness of their movements and the subtle carnality of their interactions with one another. I’d never seen anything like it; as I looked over at Raven and saw her similar intrigue, I knew she hadn’t either.

That was my mistake—to even acknowledge her in such a moment, especially after speaking about our previous topic. Her lips began stretching and stretching into a particularly wicked grin, and she turned to me. The devil was burning in her dark eyes.

Her answer to my question: “Give his eyes something to look at.”

part two

[runningfrom2am]

leveling the playing field IX

summary: with nowhere else to go after getting caught cheating to help lucy gray, you both make some desperately stupid decisions.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 2.6k

tags/warnings: capitol brat!reader, maybe slightly ooc coryo, idk i tried my best. do they love each other or hate each other? who knows (we do, kind of). implications and mentions of abuse, so read with caution!! also a little bit of swearing but that's neither here nor there

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a/n: here we are!! 'season' two!! thanks so much for reading it and I'm SO so glad lots of people seem to love it :) if you do, please reblog it or leave your thoughts in the replies or in my inbox! i love hearing from you and talking about it so don't be a stranger !

without further adieu,, enter buzzcut coryo <3

next part

Coriolanus's stomach twisted as he could hear your screams from the hall, even though by then he was all the way on the other side of the school. He thought that was unsettling, only for them to abruptly stop just before he left. The silence that followed was so much worse. He didn't get any sleep, sitting on the roof in Grandma'ams rose garden with Tigris all night, wondering if you were dead.

He was just sick about it, even as he left the following morning, so early that the sun was yet to rise. It was a long, painful ride, and he spent the entire thing certain that you were dead. It was his fault, he had only wanted you to come with him, so he wouldn't be alone, but now he truly is alone and he won't even have you to write to back home. Regardless, he would try.

Rather than sit with the idea that it might even be pointless for him to live another day, especially with this unflattering haircut and a uniform that challenged the discomfort of the academy one, he decided to write to you on a paper he had found bunched between the train seats to ease his mind.

Y/N/N,

I hope you're reading this. I hope this gets back to you at home and finds you safe and sound, and you're sitting over your desk with a textbook open getting ready for university in the fall. That's not what's happening though, is it? You're probably dead. I probably killed you. If you are reading this in your room, or your library, or over my shoulder as I write this because you are only alive in what's left of your spirit, I hope you know that I am sorry. I did it because I wanted you with me, because in the moment I was so sure you'd be better off with me in the districts than you would be at home with your father. I think I was wrong. But I still miss you. You meant more to me than I ever told you. I guess, more than I ever told myself either until these last few weeks.

I think I heard them kill you after I left you with the Dean. If they did, boy, did you go out fighting. I always knew you would. I can't stop writing in case I never get to speak to you again. But again, maybe you're not dead, right?

Please tell me you're not dead.

Yours,

Always yours, your Coryo

He smoothes out the wrinkled sheet as he writes, hand shaking through most of it. He doesn't know if he should even bother sending it, or if he should just fold it up and throw it out the window in hopes that the message will find its way to your ghost. No, he has to send it. Otherwise he'll definitely never know, at least not for twenty years, and he couldn't bear that.

The wind hits the trees into the windows of the train as it rolls along the tracks, demanding that the branches be heard against the glass. It reminds him of you. Then again, what doesn't these days? Maybe it was just you letting him know you had read his letter, and that you forgive him. That would give him a semblance of peace for the rest of the ride.

When you woke up, it was impossible to tell what time it was. You only knew that it was dark, and your bedroom door was locked from the outside when you got up and carefully tried to open it only to be blocked by the mechanism.

"I have half the mind to agree with you on the Avox thing." You hear your dad sigh, his voice echoing from his study just down the hall. Your eyes widen and you try the knob again. Yep, still locked. "But we could always send her to Nine or Ten as a nurse. She's not staying here, that's certain."

"I don't want to push your decision, here, but she was saying she would tell everyone. She knows more than we thought, more details." Highbottom was here too, great.

"No, that's impossible. What did she say?"

"She knows we're selling, likely that you're storing it all here somewhere, and she knows it's enough to be treason. I don't know what else she knows, but it's risky business ever letting her out of that room again. The procedure might be our best option, here." You've heard enough, quickly making for your window instead. It's locked as well, but draping your old uniform over the lever gives you enough freedom to crush it with a particularly heavy, hardcover textbook without making much noise.

You change quickly, grabbing a few essentials that you could fit into your book bag, then climb out the window and slide down the back porch column before making as quiet of an escape as possible. Adrenaline carried you a few blocks away, but now, you were unsure what to do. You couldn't return, and you couldn't be seen, and you had a tragic shortage of friends at the moment. You find your feet carrying you toward the building you know Coriolanus lives in.

You're not particularly excited to see him, but with no other options, you're sure you can find it in yourself to be forgiving just this once. You could go to Sejanus's family home, but it's not far enough away, and you're not sure what his father would say. He'd probably call your dad in a second and it would all be for naught- you couldn't risk it. So, Coryo's it was.

You enter the building, walking straight for the elevator. He was in the penthouse, so you just have to hit the very top button and figure it out from there. You've never been to his home before, but he's talked about it plenty. Enough that you could find your way there, at least.

You groan when you quickly realize the elevator doesn't work, looking over at the stairs. It's a tall building, so you've got a long way to go. You wonder how he does this every day as you climb up set after set of stairs, taking note of how the walls are basically crumbling around you.

You knew he didn't have money, that he couldn't eat, but you didn't think he lived like this. No wonder he was so thin, and no wonder he still had any muscle left on his body. It was these damn stairs. That couldn't be it though, that wouldn't explain how his shoulders just seemed to go on for miles- maybe he had some kind of workout routine you never knew about.

You're drawn from your thoughts when you reach the top of the last staircase, hesitating to open the industrial looking door in front of you. Just beyond that was the front door to the Snow penthouse, and now that you're here, you're not sure what to do. Do you knock? You don't even know what time it is.

You sit by the door, deciding to think it over for a bit. It doesn't take you long to fall asleep leaning up against the wall where it meets the dusty floor.

Waking up, you're met with a gasp. "Y/N?" You blink open your eyes, seeing Tigris crouched in front of you, forehead creased with worry. "Are you okay? What are you doing here?"

"Tigris, hello." You mumble, gathering yourself to stand up as she helps you. "I, uh, I didn't know where to go, so..."

"Okay, okay. Come in for a second." She nods, holding your shoulder as she guides you back into the apartment. You squint at the sunrise through the large bay windows, she must have been on her way to work. "Can I get you anything? Some tea? You must be freezing..." She says, immediately shuffling into the kitchen.

"No, no. It's fine. Thank you, though." You insist, trying not to stare at the state the apartment has fallen into.

"Okay, well, please, take a seat. Tell me what's going on."

You nod slightly and move to sit down at their dining table where she joins you, reaching out for your hand which you gratefully take. "Did Coriolanus leave already?" You ask and she nods, giving you a sad smile.

"I must admit, I'm relieved to see you." She says, taking you by surprise. "Coryo thought you were dead. He was just so torn up about it, he said it was his fault but he wouldn't tell me why. I was expecting to see your passing in the papers this morning."

"Well, my days are numbered." You sigh, looking out the window again. The view was stunning. Maybe you would prefer a penthouse to your own large, empty feeling home. "My father and Dean Highbottom were discussing turning me into an Avox as a pity punishment, and I don't doubt that my father would rather bury me than have that on his name. I didn't stick around to hear their decision."

Tigris listens intently, squeezing your cold hands between her own. "And now, I don't know what to do. I had nowhere to go, I'm so sorry to intrude-"

"No, my goodness, please. You are always welcome here." She assured you. "But... what will you do?"

"I have to leave." You nod to yourself. "I have to leave and I can't come back, can I?"

"One day I'm sure it will be safe for you to return." She says, notably trying to put a positive spin on it. "I'll tell you what-" She stands quickly, going over to a hall closet and pulling out a large fur coat. "Take this, it can hide you and keep you warm. Take the next train to Twelve, that's where Coryo went." She places the coat in your lap. "He'll be ecstatic to have you and see that you're well."

You nod, standing up and pulling it on in a hurry. It was a beautiful coat, you could tell it was real fur. This must have belonged to one of their mothers. "Thank you, Tigris."

"There's another train headed there in about twenty minutes, if you rush you can make it. I had to check the schedule last night for him. Don't buy a ticket, just climb in a transport car from the opposite side, not the platform." She instructs you hurriedly,

You dig in your bag as you both head for the door, pulling out a handful of money and rifling through it to give some to her. You'll need some, but she will too.

"Here, Tigris. Take this." You say as she holds the door for you, and she instantly is shaking her head.

"No, no. I couldn't." She smiles awkwardly, waving a hand at you. "You'll need it more than I do, Coryo will be sending us cheques."

You smile at her understandingly, holding it out to her again. "If not for your help, then for this lovely jacket. Please take it. I insist."

Tigris sighs, taking it from your hand before pulling you into a hug which you gladly return. "Tell him we love him, okay?"

"He knows," You say, chin resting on her shoulder. "But I will."

It was dark again when your train reached its final stop, and you were curled up under the coat trying to sleep. You scramble to get up, having to bolt from the train before anyone came to unload the car.

Unfortunately, you didn't get the privilege of having a place to stay when you arrived, so once you're out of sight of the train, the best you can do is wander.

You don't have to wander long before you hear music. You didn't realize people were happy here, so the sounds of laughter and shouting and dancing coming from inside what looked to be an abandoned building made you tilt your head at the idea. Maybe you would just sit outside, around the side of the building where you won't be seen and you can listen.

You don't even get the chance to sit before you hear the singing start. It's Lucy Gray. You mentally scold yourself for not thinking of her sooner as you stand again quickly, finding yourself quite lightheaded. You must be hungry. Maybe there will be some food inside, or maybe you can find talk to Lucy Gray and maybe she'll let you stay with her. Just until you get yourself situated here.

Clutching your new coat tightly around yourself you walk in after attempting to dust off and salvage your clothes. Your favourite skirt and shoes took quite a beating throughout the day, and you're disappointed, to say the least. Hopefully Lucy Gray has a washing machine, but you doubt it. Did these people even know what a washing machine is? By the look of everyone in the room, the answer was a definite no.

Sure enough, Lucy Gray was on stage, singing her heart out. You had never seen her smile so wide, of course, and the kids surrounding her onstage were just as talented as she was at all their instruments. You've never seen live music like this before, only classical or opera where everyone sat quietly and listened until the end. This environment was entirely new to you.

Not wanting to interrupt, you wait until Lucy Gray steps offstage and her spot is replaced with a little blonde girl who couldn't have been older than ten.

"Give it up for the amazing Lucy Gray Baird!" The girl shouts into the mic, gesturing to your friend before more music started to play. "She'll be back, she's just taking a little break, but until then, you lot are stuck listenin' to me."

This is your chance. You push through the crowd and step into the hall you saw Lucy Gray go down. "Lucy Gray?" You call out hopefully, watching your step as to not roll a heel. In hindsight, these shoes were not ideal for the journey you took, but your options were limited by a time crunch.

"Lucy Gray?" You ask again, turning a corner and peeling into a large open room. It's a few moments before your eyes land on her, and she turns to face you having heard you walk in.

"Oh my days, I thought I recognized that voice!" She smiles, opening her arms and running up to you. "Y/N, my word, what are you doin' here?" Her excitement fades quickly into concern as she drops her arms from around you.

"Long story..." You chuckle nervously, pulling at your coat again as she nods for you to continue. "We got caught, for the compact. And the snakes, somehow. Coriolanus put our handkerchiefs that you used in the tank so they wouldn't attack you, I guess. I didn't know. Then they pulled us out of class the next day, he told them it was me, so then I put up a fight and they sedated me. When I woke up I was at home and they were talking about having my tongue cut out and turning me into one of those servants but I'm sure my dad would rather have me dead. So," You sigh, trying to summarize it as quickly as possible. "I ran."

Lucy Gray shook her head, mouth agape in shock at all the information she just took in. "Okay, wait... So they were going to kill you?"

You nod.

"But that teacher of yours seemed so nice."

"Sorry?"

"Yeah, he gave me some money and escorted me into the train himself."

You scoff, shaking your head. "He's never liked either of us, but that's only because I have dirt on him. I don't know what Coryo did."

"Well," Lucy Gray sighs, rubbing your shoulders gently. "I'm glad you're here. That you're safe."

"You too." You smile. "Can I just say, too, we were so proud of you. We were so lucky to be your mentors."

"I count myself the lucky one." She grins. "Let's move on, shall we? On the up and up."

"Yes, sounds lovely." You grin at her.

"Can I get you some water? Liquor? What do you need?" She asks, turning at that and going over to a bench in the middle that had a few water bottles.

"I would love some water." You breathe out, joining her and sitting down as she hands one to you.

"Lucy Gray, could I ask you for a really big favour?" You say after taking your first sip.

"Please." She nods.

"Can I stay with you?"

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[dreamingumbrellas]

why tua s1 is a masterpiece and 2-4 give me a migraine

i gotta use my english degree for something so lets talk about it

i’d like to note beforehand, that i’ve only seen about half of season 4. but given everything i’ve heard about it, i’ve decided to avoid watching it for my own mental wellbeing. i really haven’t enjoyed the last three seasons much, mostly i’ve been dredging through because of how much i love season 1. it feels painfully like seasons 1 and seasons 2-4 are for completely different fucking shows–particularly in tone.

i think tua season 1 attracted attention to its unique themes that are lost in the rest of the series. the primary themes are of trauma and dysfunctional family dynamics. it’s a story about seven severely abused siblings learning to cope with their trauma and reconnect as adults. season 1’s tone is somber. it shows us glimpses of the characters’ childhoods, and how it affects them in their adult lives. the characters in season 1 were, most importantly, flawed! they were assholes, because trauma turns people into assholes sometimes! 

you can directly trace back the siblings’ character flaws to the shit reggie put them through. Luther was the golden boy, which put too much responsibility on his shoulders and isolated him from his siblings. As a result, Luther is ultra-loyal to his dead father, in obvious denial of the abuse he endured because he was never able to form an identity for himself outside of reggie and the academy! he is the only one that never moved on. and then reggie turned luther into (for lack of a better term) a giant monkey without his consent, causing him to hate himself and even further alienate himself from the rest of the world. 

diego never left the ‘number 2’ headspace. he fights with luther even into adulthood. despite how much he claims to hate his father, he became a vigilante likely as an effort to finally be good enough for his dad. and lets not forget (unlike the writers) about his stutter–something that formed in childhood and came back as an adult when he was triggered with memories of his childhood. he’s inherently defensive because reginald pit the siblings against one another constantly.

allison is a narcissist–though, when we meet her in season 1, she’s more of a narcissist in recovery. she’s recognized how her childhood affected her and wants to become a better person to make up for the mistakes of her past. what mistakes again? well, she used her powers on her daughter because 1. she was never told no. reggie encouraged the usage of her powers, and the household where she grew up was violent, manipulative, and competitive. she had no sense of real normalcy, so she never learned how to build a happy, healthy family for her daughter. to cope with her trauma, she clung to her fame–this is shown both in adulthood and childhood flashbacks–leading her to become a movie star, and not accept her own faults.

klaus, well, klaus is the most obvious example of trauma. mostly due to reggie forcing his powers on him when he was a young childhood. locking him in a mausoleum for hours on end. he became a drug addict as a result. living on the streets, in and out of rehab, and stealing for money. we see him struggle constantly throughout season 1–through his interactions with ghosts (when its very possible he wouldn’t have developed such a fear of them if it weren’t for reggie), with flashbacks to his childhood and (later) to the vietnam war. his inability to take things seriously and his self-destructive behavior are both coping mechanisms. his siblings don’t trust him because of his lying and kleptomaniac tendencies.

five is a character whose development is utterly abandoned after season 1. he was only thirteen years old when he accidentally travelled in time to the apocalypse, where he remained for 45 years. i remind you of this because the writers won’t. he survived those years for his family! because he felt immeasurable guilt for leaving them! he was so lonely for these years that he developed a romantic attachment to a mannequin (something only referenced for a joke in later seasons). he was in an extremely vulnerable position when he was recruited by the handler (a character who was very creepy in her own right) and he was forced to use his childhood ‘superhero’ skillset to essentially become an assassin, a job he loathed himself for. all so he could have a chance to save his family. five is cocky, sarcastic, and yes, wants to save the world, but we forget that he wanted to save his family first. he was willing to sacrifice the world if it meant saving his siblings. and even once he returns to the present, he experiences ptsd flashbacks to his time in the apocalypse. five is severely traumatized and stuck between childhood and adulthood, has lived for far too long and has done too many terrible things to be a child, but is stuck in a childs body and never got the chance to emotionally mature past the age of 13. this in no way resembles the five we get in later seasons.

in season 1, ben is a tragedy. he is the character that haunts the narrative (literally). his death was the reason the family split up. he experienced an incredibly traumatic childhood, forced to slaughter people against his will. all so that he could die tragically young (we’ll get into his cause of death later). he’s stuck following klaus around for years, unable to interact with anyone else. he watched his brother deteriorate in front of him with no way to help. he’s angry about his death and sometimes takes out his frustrations on klaus. but at the same time, he was ‘the kindest’ of all the siblings. he cares deeply about his family, but can’t do anything about it.

i think it’s easy to forget that the initial focus of the show was viktor. viktor, who was told how unremarkable he was again and again. who was isolated not just from the world but from his own family as well. who was drugged up from an incredibly young age and forced to ignore his emotions. yes, the umbrella academy was abusive. but being isolated from his siblings was just another form of abuse. he grew up to resent his family on a lot of levels, writing his book as a method to vent his frustrations but only ended up in driving his siblings further away. viktor went through a lot of shit in season 1, and resulted in him ending the world. but did his family kill him? no. because that was the point of the entire show. that despite their trauma and how much they might resent one another, the siblings still loved each other more than the rest of the world put together. 

everything ive outlined are the elements that make up season 1, and are almost entirely forgotten about later. but by losing the integrity of the characters, they lost the narrative. the point of the umbrella academy was never saving the world–it was about a broken family reconciling with one another despite everything. these points of trauma are taken seriously. it was the complexity of these characters, at least in my opinion, that attracted attention towards them. and sure, we didn’t love every character all the time. remember how much luther was hated in season 1? but it’s because he was realistic. these characters, and the shit they went through, weren’t a joke. and the season ended off in a way that forshadowed these elements being explored more in depth. remember how it ended?

with the seven siblings holding hands as the world exploded around them. and for only a few seconds, we saw them transform back into their child selves.

now, this plot point (whatever it might have been) was instantly cancelled and forgotten about in season 2. but it really makes you think about the season we could have gotten: the characters being forced back into their childhood, having to confront the root of their trauma and essentially, all their problems. they could look back at what happened to them with a mature perspective and worked through it, realizing that they were not each other’s enemies. they could have made up for lost time, helped eachother heal, and ultimately prevent the apocalpyse by being family. you know, something that would have actually wrapped up the narrative nicely.

so, what happened?

the shows original themes of trauma, and repentance, and family were abandoned in favor of humor and spectacle. it seems like the creators misinterpreted what made the first season so successful. sure, the first season had a lot of funny moments and great fight scenes. but it was the emotional depth and complexity that made the show what it was. but worse than that, it continued to spit in the faces of the characters trauma, downplaying it in almost every way possible.

klaus’ relapses were played for comedy. his fear of ghosts was drastically downplayed with the use of cartoonish ghost-buster ass looking ghosts. five’s ptsd was never acknowledged again; his coping mechanism, dolores, became a joke. luther lost all character complexity entirely, instead becoming a himbo (who we love, but, still). viktor rarely brought up the feelings from his childhood, and nobody acknowledged his tell-all book again.

one of the things that infuriated me the most was the incorporation of reginald in later seasons. lets remind ourselves of some things: he purchased seven children, treated them like objects without names, trained them tirelessly and deprived them of a childhood, traumatized them by turning them into murderers, pitted them against one another, and literally tortured them. and that’s only the things we see him do on screen. you cannot convince me for a second that any of the siblings would ever be able to be the same room as that man without having serious flashbacks. I don’t believe for one second that they’d work with him, trust him, or empathize with him in any capacity (except maybe luther) except they do, consistently. even five, who is easily the smartest member of the academy, and extremely protective of his siblings.

and- LEST WE FUCKING DISREGARD- reginald MURDERED ben.

the moment that happened on screen felt like the last shovel of dirt on tua 1’s grave. supposedly all the siblings REMEMBERED this incident in seasons 1-3. and yet they went to their fathers funeral, spoke to him (relatively) civilly, and teamed up with him after seeing for themselves their father shoot their brother in the back of the head for seemingly no reason. not only did they apparently not hold this against their father, but they never mentioned it once in three seasons.

and yes, i know, there is a very simple reason for this. it was obviously made up at the last moment for plot convenience. but the implications for this being retconned in are damning for the characters. by writing this in, the writers decided that the siblings commitment to one another is meaningless. that the foundations upon which this show was created, are fucking meaningless. they threw away not only the individual complexity of each character, but also their relationship as a family.

[nerdasaurus1200]

The hug scene is just too good to not ramble about so let’s get into it

So naturally we’re thrown right into Jinx’s POV here. We start with complete darkness, with the only source of light flickering on and off, her one source of comfort and safety. Just like her, we have NO idea what happened at first. Whether Vander is okay, whether Vi is okay. You can see in her face, Jinx is so alert. And this is so different than usual because in season 1 whenever she was alert like this she still had a very blank look. She was still always kinda teetering on the verge of an episode, the lights were on but no one is home. And here she is FULLY in her mind, fully in the situation, and the poor girl is terrified. Because did she Jinx it again?

She doesn’t know

All she can do is hold Isha close in the darkness and listen as she slowly steps closer to the eerie green light of Vander’s mechanics…

To find by some miracle of the fates, both her dad and her sister are okay. More than okay, they’re reunited. Jinx made Vi understand.

I can’t even begin to fathom the utter relief Vi must feel in this moment. Knowing that despite it all, despite watching him die, her dad is alive. He’s okay, he’s here. And after the few years she’s had this hug is exactly what she needs. She need that moment to let go, and just be in her old man’s arms again and finally stop being a fighter. And it’s just so heartwarming, the way Vander still just cradles her head and holds her so gently and dwarfs her despite being an adult now. No matter how old Vi gets, she’s never gonna fully outgrow Vander. She will never stop needing her dad.

But something’s still missing…

“What are you waiting for? He’s your dad too…”

I’m certain Vander’s thinking the same thing here cause even before Vi addressed Jinx you could see those poor sad eyes looking her way. They both still acknowledge Jinx as their family no matter what, this hug wouldn’t be complete without her.

And you can see this just shatters any walls Jinx had left. All she can do is break down crying, that’s the only way she can let out all the pain and joy and utter relief she feels in this moment. Cause that line is just so meaningful, with those four words, Vi says so much. Naturally it’s a callback to Jinx saying it earlier but Vi saying it back…that’s her saying “You’re still my sister.” That’s her saying “I forgive you.” That’s her saying “You’re safe, it’s okay to move on from the accident.”

And Jinx knows that and you can see it in her eyes, she’s silently asking “Really? You really mean it?”. And that soft look in Vi’s eyes only solidifies that yes, she absolutely means it with every fiber of her being.

So of course Jinx does the only thing she has left to do. She and rushes to join the group hug. She leaves her own light and gets drawn in to her dad’s, leaving behind her own source of comfort and accepting another. She’s finally allowing herself to open up and trust other people again, to seek other sources of comfort. And look at the way Vi instantly holds her, her arm is around Jinx almost as soon as she’s within reach.

And honestly the theme of not being able to outgrow Vander applies just as much to Jinx cause she’s arguably smaller than Vi in some ways and he dwarfs her just as much. And the way Jinx holds onto Vander’s finger, something about that totally reminds me of like…that moment dads have when their newborn baby holds their hand for the first time.

The look on Vander’s face here too is just chilling in the best way, the way his eyes harden just a little. He may not be all the way there thanks to Singed, but he’s there enough to to that his little girls are there with him. They’re okay, they’re alive, they both made it out. And NOTHING is gonna hurt them again, not so long as he draws breath.

And I couldn’t fit it here cause I hit the screenshot limit but the fact that Isha joins too and none of them even prompt her to. Because this is her family now too. The family’s not only complete but enhanced now. They’ve restored what was left of the family and even added to it with new family members.

And the song is just perfect, the constant “What have they done to us” playing in the background. The world has done so much, too much to everyone in this family. They’ve all been starved, beaten, and destroyed emotionally and physically. They’ve grown distorted, they’re no longer the people they once were. I like to think that the chorus is kinda reflecting what all four of them are thinking, they’re all just thinking “what has the world done to us?”

But despite it all, they’re still alive. They’re still here, and NOTHING is gonna tear them apart again, not even Noxians.

(Let me hope XD)

[winters-rose-daughterofcain]

Fine I'll talk about Bridgerton

One thing this season made really clear to me is that Lady Whistledown is in a way a coping mechanism. It was stared by a lonely, neglected, unhappy seventeen year old girl who felt like she could scream until she collapsed to the ground and it would be into a void because no one would fucking listen to her.

Her mother constantly berates and criticises her, her father (while alive) barely speaks to her and is seen off to the side drinking when he's meant to be chaperoning her, her sisters are openly cruel to her and are still favoured by their mother. She has few friends, and the two relationships she holds closest both have significant blocks to them, with Colin it's her unrequited feelings and..... tbh her and Eloise's friendship is a whole different post and while they clearly mean the world to each other, there where fundamentally issues long before Lady Whistledown was so much as a drop of ink. I think they are both at fault for them and I love both of them, but Eloise's biggest issue comes from just not listening to her and in general as a person having a bad case of tunnel vision and hyper focusing on certain things while completely missing others.

Pen is outcast from society from the moment she steps foot in it, ridiculed and despised by those around her and bullied by girls her age for literally no fucking reason. She is seen as unattractive and undesirable, she believes the fundamentally human want to be loved a silly childish delusion because she is told from every angle that she is not worth it. She's not even worth listening to.

I think her resentment and hurt had been building for a while, she's never under any assumption that she will be treated or seen better. How could she be? When she is constantly reminded how much she fails to be what is wanted or respected or valued, primarily by her own damn family. Still, she's a kind girl. She's sweet and attentive and a good listener, she's patient and reliable and, before Whistledown started, probably extremely loyal, if how much guilt she felt whenever she genuinely betrayed someone says anything. She's someone who has never felt or had any power, who has so much hurt and resent and bitterness from years of this shit building and building.

But she's also smart and witty and funny and extremely intelligent. She has a talent for writing and words and clearly has the potential to be successful. I think being pushed into society a year earlier than she wanted (again, because her mother wouldn't listen) pushed her over the edge. She wrote her observations, the things she learnt from being pushed to the side for so long down, and published them. I don't think she ever intended for it to be as big as it was, and I think the bigger it got and still gets the more in over her head she is. Because for once people listened, for once people cared, for once what she thought and said and worked for mattered.

It is a young girl gaining her first glimpse at power and being deeply unprepared for the consequences. When things go wrong and she doesn't know what to do and no one will listen to her as Penelope, this is the only way she can make them. No matter how disastrous the affects, using Whiseldown gets results, it just also hurts people, pushing her further and further down this cycle where Whistledown is one of the only thing that makes her feel better and allows her to process the things in her life, while hurting the people around her and making her more dependent on it.

She truly meant to give up Whistledown after the disaster with Eloise, but on that night she had her connection or trust from the two people who she cared about and who cared about her the most broken. With the fight with Eloise and then overhearing Colin she lost both of them in the span of an hour, what else dose she have aside from her writing?

And again at the ball in episode one. Even after a complete upheaval of her entire look she still fails to talk to those guys, she still isn't enough, it's proof it is not her youth or her mother influence something fundamental in her can't do this. Then Cressida rips her dress with Eloise standing right there, then Colin comes and (even tho she is incorrect) confirms to her that he too, is embarrassed by her. So what dose she do? When she's miserable and powerless? She writes. She takes it all out in Whistledown and says the (admittedly true which is why it hurt so much tbh) cruel things about Colin, which she regrets literally a day later after actually talking to him. Adding more guilt and keeping her stuck in this cycle.

It's a business definitely, and there are many parts of Whistledown she genuinely enjoys, but I don't think it's good for her. It hurts the people around her and it hurts herself, she's in over her head and definitely knows she should stop, but I don't think she knows how. She doesn't let herself rely on others enough to be okay without this one thing that has allowed her to cope and be heard and respected and valued. That's also why I think she couldn't have stopped before this season, now she's finally getting that, she's finally being listened to and respected and valued and being told she is worth something. Not by many people, and it is still too new to change the fundamental thought patters about it she has, but it's a start.

Now she just has to grapple with that fact that this thing that has given her a voice and found her comfort might just be the dealbreaker for the real people in her life who can actually offer her the love and care and respect she deserves and craves and has been denied for so so long. It sucks and it's a cycle she can't get out of now, she's made her own trap without knowing how she did it.

That's what happens when a 17 year olds coping mechanism continues and grows and expands for years, when people unknowing pay to see more of it, and when she doesn't really know what else to do. Whistledown is Pens choice and all her actions for better or worse, but it would not exist without the context of her life. It would not exist if Portia was a better mother, if she had better sisters or a better family. It would not exist of other girls her age were kinder to her, if they excluded her a little less. It would not exist if she were not seen as a lost cause for love before she had the chance to try. Lady Whistledown would not exist if someone just fucking listened to her.

[locusfandomtime]

see the fandom has this thing where the hermits are different species and when they’re part animal/mob they’re a hybrid but nobody talks about the even funnier canon lore that they’re all the exact same species. Their species is hermit.

[long post - lots of worldbuilding and speculative biology below]

Jevin looks like a slime, Doc looks like that, most of them look human, but in actuality they’re all just hermits. The only information we have about this is that hermits are shorter than the average player, some references to hobbits, some references to hermits being hardworking, the fact that gem isn’t a hermit and had to wear antlers to pretend to be one, and that’s it.

I love biology and worldbuilding and this is fascinating to me. When you take into account previous seasons and events and throw-away lines this gets even more insane. Grian and Hypno are acknowledged to not have mouths (and even more hermits don’t have them on their skin). Mumbo turned into a potato. Cleo had snake hair at one point. There are a million other weird things I’m forgetting. You could handwave some of this with an explanation like “hermits are shapeshifters” or “hermits are gods” and that is a very valid and fun take but I think it is SO much funnier if these are just normal things that happen in the hermit species, which aren’t fantastical at all and are adaptations with elaborate mechanics and explanations.

Perhaps hermits, similar to bugs, regularly shed their skin (or a process similar to it) and change their appearance. Some insects change colours/appearance due to their environment rather than genetics, ie macleays spectre stick insects can turn lichen colours when raised around lichen. Maybe the hermits shed their skins on a regular basis, including during their adult life, and this allows them to better match their environment- causing physical changes related to what they have been exposed to. This causes potato Mumbo and medusa Cleo and DM Tango and any other example of a specific skin change. For more constant differences in appearance - maybe life cycles could be considered?

this may be the weirdest thing I’ve ever made. For those that don’t know, “n” is the number of chromosomes, where n is the haploid number, so 2n is diploid. Diploid cells are necessary for sexual reproduction. Of course, a lot of these life cycles are centered around reproduction, as is the nature of a life cycle, but in reality the hermits are in no rush and are happy to stay at whatever point of the life cycle they’re at, this is just an outline of the species’ mechanics.

I mean, most of this diagram is conjecture… but I think it is interesting to consider! Jevin especially reminded me a lot of slime mould life cycles so this is heavily inspired off that, but also inspired by bug life cycles as well.

If you want to get even more indepth we can consider the gender roles of hermit society (remember that clip where Grian implied builders were housewives and redstoners were breadwinning husbands?). Perhaps we can get meta and consider respawn an aspect of being a hermit as well - are they able to regenerate after death? What is Cleo’s place in all this, being undead? Is arm thickness, where your arm can either be 3px or 4px wide, an example of sexual dimorphism?

but. well. tldr: the hermits being one species is a very fun idea we should be doing more with, i think

[charlosvibesonly]

One, Two, Three, Four (based on a poem I wrote)

Lando Norris Imagine

You’re at the McLaren garage, adjusting your headset and double-checking the data on your tablet. It’s another hectic day at the track, but you’ve gotten used to the chaos. As a mechanical engineer for the team, every detail counts. You’re focused, determined, and have a reputation for being one of the best in the paddock.

Lando Norris strides in, his usual confident grin plastered on his face. You’ve seen him around, of course, but never had a proper conversation. He’s the rising star of the team, always surrounded by fans and media.

“One, two, three, four,” you mutter under your breath, counting the seconds until the meeting starts.

“What’s that?” Lando asks, tilting his head curiously.

“Oh, just keeping track of time,” you reply, feeling your cheeks heat up slightly.

“Mind if I join you?” he asks, taking a seat next to you.

“Sure,” you say, trying to keep your composure. His presence is almost overwhelming, but you remind yourself to stay professional.

“So, you’re the genius behind our car’s performance?” he says, looking genuinely impressed.

You laugh softly. “I’m just part of a big team. We all contribute.”

“Well, I’m glad we have you. Makes my job a lot easier,” he says with a wink.

Later that day, you find yourself working late in the garage. The rest of the team has left, but you’re determined to finish analyzing the latest data. You’re so engrossed in your work that you don’t notice Lando approaching.

“One, two, three, four,” you count to yourself, focusing on tightening a bolt.

“Why do you keep counting?” Lando’s voice startles you, and you nearly drop your wrench.

“Oh, uh, yeah. It helps me concentrate,” you admit, looking up to see him smiling at you.

“You know, you’re pretty amazing at what you do,” he says, leaning against the workbench. His casual demeanor makes you feel more at ease.

You laugh nervously. “Thanks, Lando. You’re not too bad yourself on the track.”

He grins. “Not too bad, huh? I’ll take that.”

He stays for a while, asking you questions about your work and sharing stories from the track. It’s the first real conversation you’ve had with him, and you’re surprised by how easy it is to talk to him.

As he leaves, he turns back and says, “Let’s grab a coffee sometime. Just to chat.”

You nod, trying to hide your excitement. “Sure, that sounds nice.”

A few days later, you find yourself sitting across from Lando at a small café. It’s a rare moment of calm amidst the whirlwind of the racing season. You’re nervous but excited, wondering if this is just a friendly outing or something more.

“One, two, three, four,” you count silently, trying to steady your nerves.

“What are you thinking about?” Lando asks, sipping his coffee.

“Just… how surreal this is. Having coffee with you,” you admit, feeling a bit shy.

He chuckles. “Why? I’m just a regular guy.”

You smile. “Maybe, but you also take my breath away.”

Lando’s eyes soften. “Is it my smile, or my eyes?”

“Both,” you say without hesitation.

You talk for hours, sharing stories about your lives, your passions, and your dreams. It’s clear that there’s a connection between you, something deeper than just a professional relationship.

The next time, it’s dinner. The atmosphere is different, more intimate. You’re at a quiet restaurant, the soft glow of candles creating a cozy ambiance. The conversation flows easily, laughter mingling with the clinking of cutlery. You feel comfortable around Lando, more so than you’ve felt with anyone in a long time.

“One, two, three, four,” you count, trying to keep your excitement in check.

“Why do you keep counting?” Lando asks again, his curiosity piqued.

You smile shyly and take out a folded piece of paper from your pocket. “It’s a bit silly, but I wrote this poem for you. It kind of explains it.”

Lando leans in, interested. “Can I hear it?”

You nod and begin to read:

“One, Two, Three, Four, I count to myself, The number of poems I write, Enemies to lovers? No, we are love at first sight.

One, Two, Three, Four, I count to myself, The number of times you take my breath away, Is it your smile, or your eyes? On my heart, it’s forever engraved.

One, Two, Three, Four, I count to myself, The number of delusions I have, A coffee date or Dinner? It won’t matter, it’s your company I crave.

One, Two, Three, Four, I count to myself, The number of sighs I take, Am I the earth to your sun? Or, maybe it’s my fate.”

Lando listens intently, his expression softening with each line. When you finish, he reaches across the table, taking your hand in his.

“Am I the earth to your sun?” he repeats, a playful smile on his lips.

“Maybe,” you say, meeting his gaze.

Lando smiles mischievously. “Or maybe, it was our fate." You bury your face in your hands, "It's too much, I am so embarrassed."

He smiles warmly, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “You know, you take my breath away too. Every time I see you, I count the moments until we meet again.”

After dinner, he walks you back to your hotel, and as you stand outside your door, he leans in and kisses you softly.

You pull back slightly, looking into his eyes. “What now?” you ask softly.

Lando smiles, his thumb brushing your cheek. “Maybe I give you enough love for you to write a new poem for me,” he replies, winking, and pushing you with him into your room.

[local-lamppost]

Initial thoughts cause it's 4am

Spoilers

First off, wow... it's really good. I've been saying that if season 2 is as good as season 1 Arcane would be my new favorite show and we are on track. Anyway, just gonna list stuff until I can process/rewatch a billion times

Mel lived! I was so certain that they would just kill her off, make that Ambessa's motive (give Jayce a reason to keep fighting the Undercity) but it's much more interesting keeping her involved in the narrative. Love her trying to bother understand and undermine her mother. Those Black Rose guys best not have hurt a hair on her perfect head.

Speaking of. What in the Utena are these Black Rose magic people? I love the look of their magic. I wonder how they can corrupt people. Is it a spell? Do they slip them something?

Love how the divide of Jayce and Viktor was done. Jayce betrayed Viktor's wishes of destroying the Hexcore. Last season, Viktor wanted to forget about using the core to save himself after Sky and begged Jayce to destroy it when the core wouldn't allow Viktor himself to do it. In Jayce's mind though, the core is the solution to Viktor's problems. He didn't know it killed Sky or that it can influence Viktor, but all Viktor can comprehend is that Jayce didn't trust him. Didn't keep his promise. And this is fresh off of Jayce's season 1 antics against the Undercity, so Viktor's faith in his partner was already shaken. Viktor's also comfortable in his mortality/death, even though he wants to prolong it like every other human, but Jayce can't fathom loosing Viktor-the man who saved his life and made his dreams reality.

(Side note: Am I a JayVik shipper? I never considered myself one, but after writing this...)

JINX HAS A KID! I love this choice. Give Jinx a kid so she is able to learn what Silco and Vi had to go through with her, that no matter how big or dangerous a scheme to take this child into account. The confrontation in ep 3 really showed what Jinx will have to consider now that this kid's decided to adopt her as an older sister or something. Especially nice detail of how Vi-who has always had to consider the kids in her life-immediately stops fighting and starts looking for ways to keep the kid safe.

I was wondering how Jinx would loose a finger and Caitlyn shooting it off to save Vi is just- The fact that the only way these two can show they care about Vi when it comes to each other is by hurting the other.

Sevika's new arm is fantastic. It's a peace offering from Jinx, but also a way for Jinx to feel better (it was something she could fix). The mechanics of it are really fun. It reminds me of Kite's weapon from HxH with how it didn't always work/give her what she wanted in the fight. I especially love the victory rockets and built in theme song.

Ambessa is so interesting. Between her character song to the introduction of just what she is fighting against, I am very intrigued. She reminds me of Cersei Lannister, except she loves her kids as more than just extensions of herself (as of what we've seen, but I think that'll stick). Her using Salo to establish herself-which also keeps Mel safe by distancing her-but also dropping him in order to prop up Cait at her first opportunity is such a clever move. She truly is the fox and the wolf, but she is above all a mama bear.

Not much to say about Heimerdinger or Ekko yet, but I am definitely curious to see what they do about the wild runes with Jayce. The three of them have a fun dynamic, what with Heimerdinger still being peeved about magic/being ousted, Ekko hating topside and having a new reason to do so with them poisoning his tree, and Jayce being recently seperated and divorced from both his partners.

Vi is an enforcer. I didn't know how they were gonna handle this, but they did it so well. Of course she wants to fix things for the people her sister hurt. She feels responsible. She can say she doesn't blame herself, but how true is that? Why else would she be wearing a badge if not for her guilt? She is desperate to do something right and being an enforcer seemed to be a way to make Cait happy, get her gauntlets (what she believes is necessary to make any kind of change), and be first in line in the hunt for Jinx. She says that her sister is dead, that Jinx is a desecration to Powder's memory, that they are not sisters but isn't it supposed to be 'nothing is going to change that'? How much of all this is just something Vi is telling herself to keep going? Cait is her motive right now, but after ep 3 I definitely see why she starts spiraling.

(2 Side note: Her new best friend/drinking buddy is such a real one. They have a bender in the gutter together and now he's following her into and out of the enforcers. I wonder if he knew Vander? In any case, he is a delight.)

Cait and Vi kissed... CAIT AND VI KISSED! Then NOTHING HAPPENED AFTER! NOTHING! No immediate break up, nope.

So Cait. I love Cait and I am hyped for her arc this season. I am ready to fight tooth and nail for her. I am a Caitlyn defender. So what she's being manipulated into leading a military state due to her grief/unresolved anger/guilt/Ambessa being better at this than her, she looks amazing in her cape. It balances.

Seriously though, the writing for Cait especially is so solid. She is desperate to hold herself and her family together, to protect her city. She still wants to protect the innocent, to heal the Undercity, but her anger at a select few of those she wants to help is clouding the greater image for her. Vi seems to be acting as her better half, the side that cares for the innocent-the protector. Ambessa is the agressor, encouraging Cait to take drastic military action against the Undercity as a whole. Vi's disillusionment with Cait is due to the fact that Cait desire to heal, not harm, is what caused her to fall for Cait to begin with. To see more than some privileged topside enforcer, but a woman who genuinely cared and was willing to abandon her peaceful naivety to learn for the greater good of strangers.

I'll also point out that they separate when Cait starts blaming Vi for them loosing Jinx. Before, everyone but Cait put responsibility on Vi, she was supposed to be the one to help lighten the load and absolve some of the guilt. Now Cait is becoming another one of those who slam the blame on Vi. She changed. Why does everyone around VI change?

Can't wait for the next batch of episodes.

[fatum679]

Thoughts on ep 6? I see a lot of praise for it but I'm like 🤔. A lot of things were annoying and illogical and I don't like what they're doing with most of the characters this season. Now even Daemon gets a redemption arc, Aegon is the biggest victim of his family, but Aemond is 100 % evil, Helaena barely appears at all (at this point Sylvie and Dyana might be more important to the story). I'm just disappointed.

Hello dear.

I'm terribly tired of this season, it's a complete disappointment. Many fan theories and fanfictions are better written than this series. I don't know what writers get their money for. The whole season 2 is like Groundhog Day. The sixth episode is just water.

We continue to be shown Daemon, his hallucinations and his “redemption”. We are promoted that he loved his brother, but this love did not extend to Viserys’ other children. Daemon and Rhaenyra actually spent their entire lives ignoring, neglecting, rejecting, and abusing Alicent's children because their grandfather was Otto. Viserys did not accept his children because ANOTHER WOMAN gave birth to them. Alicent's children were indeed discriminated against by their paternal relatives. Therefore, I do not believe in the propaganda of Daemon's redemption, that Rhaenyra is kind, and Viserys is a good parent. Besides, I'm terribly tired of all these hallucinations in Harrenhal. It was interesting in the beginning, but now it's endless repetition.

The pointless scenes of Rhaenyra and Daemon could have been spent on a story arc with the north and Sarah Snow, showing Daeron, more scenes to Helaena.

It looks like we have Daemon, Rhaenyra and Alicent, other characters, playing the role of «trees» or «decorations» for them.

They decided to show Aegon as a victim. This is a cheap scenario move to divide the TG stans into two camps: those who support Aemond and those who support Aegon. As if we weren't already divided into helaemond stans and anti-helaemond long ago. Aegon could have been given a bit of heroism to get burned by Rhaenys. But we have what we have. The dynamic between Aegon and Aemond reminds me of the dynamic between Viserys and Daenerys. It really is déjà vu, but I don't believe the writers intended it that way.

Aemond tries to deal with the problems that Aegon and Rhaenyra created. The birth of the rebellion began after Aegon carried out a reign of terror by hanging the rat-catchers. Rhaenyra set up a blockade. Aemond closed the gates, but if he had not done this, the entire infrastructure would have stopped working, since there would be no people left in the capital. It's cruel, but it's true and it's wartime. The problem is that Aegon, as king, failed to convey to the people that they were starving because of Rhaenyra, staged a public execution and fired Otto. Aemond can no longer do anything, because the mechanism has already been launched and a riot was inevitable.

I don't think they're trying to make Aemond evil, but the normies will think he's evil. He is cruel to his brother for personal reasons, he fired Alicent (which I support him on) because she loves Rhaenyra (Alicent actually had a chance to end the war in episode 3, but she loves Rhaenyra more than her children). Aemond brought Otto back because he knows that his grandfather is the best Hand.

I feel bad for Helaena the most. I really believed that she would be on the small council. Ewan talked a lot about Helaena: “She is good with books and money.” I'm really upset. We weren't even shown the Dreamfyre. Why does Alice Rivers have more screen time in the Targaryen story? Where is Helaena's coronation?

Alys Rivers is absolutely disgusting to me. She's a maniac on the hunt for Targaryen sperm. She drives Daemon crazy like a brain parasite. I hope people stop romanticizing alysmond, because the same thing awaits Aemond.

Sylvia was offended that Aemond no longer came to her and did not pay her money, so she decided to spread lies about him that he was throwing a feast in the castle. Even Diana doesn't believe her because she served the royal family and knew Aemond's character. Sylvia is not a hero, she owns a brothel. She abused (ra**d) 13 year old Aemond and I'm sure other children too. She manipulated Aemond, and when he left, she decided to take revenge on him.

Rhaena was given the Nettles line, which is quite disappointing. Once again the writers show that in TB this is the Mary Sue team. The writers actually decided to remove the cool character because they didn't want to ruin daenyra.

Helaemond is pain. The writers decided to gaslight us. The entire written plot in the first season was destruction, all the potential was destruction. Ewan and Phia say that Helaemond was not in the scripts, but I don't believe it. There are many scenes and hints in the second half of the first season.

House of the Dragon is truly a complete disappointment for those with critical thinking skills. The scriptwriters' favoritism is not even hidden.

Bring back Miguel! He is the only one who knows how to write a script and characters!

We have two more episodes, but there's not much hope.

p.s.

Aemond showed Larys his place and immediately understood his manipulation - the best scene of the whole season.

[thecoolerliauditore]

What are your thoughts on SL Gem? I’m genuinely interested to hear your take on her character.

So first off I haven't fully watched Gem's SL POV, nor do I feel totally confident talking about her in a traffic series sense since she's lacking screentime even more than Ren. So this one's gonna be less grain of salt and more. salt mines. do not take it seriously

Gem's character to me is defined by her bravado and natural affinity for leadership but also by her pseudo-crush on not Pearl, but Scarlet Pearl specifically.

I feel like I've made too many cynical jokes about gempearl being evil to me, I don't think they're like. Bad for eachother necessarily in fact incorporating HC into things they're one of the pairs in the series I personally headcanon as hanging out post-horrors (not necessarily in a fully fledged capital r Relationship just. they're hanging out).

But I do think there's something very fangirl-ish about the way Gem idolizes Scarlet Pearl and encourages Pearl to lean more into the character, when Scarlet Pearl has always been more of a coping mechanism. Like, whoa that thing you did to protect yourself and only made things worse is SO COOL. Which is both what is really genuinely awesome about gempearl and what is really scary about it. To me at least. Gem takes all the things Pearl hates about herself and thinks they're Awesome, Actually but doesn't understand why Pearl hates those things in the first place and how they hurt both her and the people around her.

It's all bookended really well too, since Gem despite all her efforts still ends up on the other end of Pearl's knife in the final episode and suddenly it's not so awesome anymore.

On the non-pearl-related side of things, Gem kinda lands in the same hunger games career-esque personality that I box people like Scott, Joel and Martyn into in that she's very much in her element in the death games (until she's not).

I've seen people say she reminds them of how the cast acted back in 3L and SL being her introductory season i.e. her having not quite yet experienced The Horrors would make that make a lot of sense. Especially when she takes death very lightly until her allies start permadying (e.g. her happily accepting Scott's sacrifice and even hitting him around for fun at one point and leading the zombie apocalypse task but being a mess when Scott asks her to kill him the last time). There's this great contrast with her being incredibly confident and capable yet very naive.

The misogynist in me wants to see her knocked down a few more pegs but at the same time she already kind of has. Idk I hope the asuka-coded behaviour rears full-blast next season instead of kind of being in the background. It would be awesome. character arcs and whatnot.

As for like. more miscellaneous headcanons. I think there's pretty much a bit of boy inside every girl but Gem especially I like to think over-performs aspects of femininity to "make up for" her uber-competitive personality. Everything she does is underlined with insecurity to me, apparently. She's also a lesbian.

[nekohime19]

Macaque study # S3

Sooo Macaque in s2 showed us potential for redemption but again, potential remains wasted without action!

For now I like to think as Macaque evolution in LMK like this :

Macaque S1 : Full fledged villain with some obscured lore. 😈

Macaque S2 : villain but a bit nuanced and maybe a potential for more. 😡

We'll see how S3 handles this evolution and where Macaque is after it.

LMK season 3 is really the payoff of the two previous seasons. While still appearing episodic we actually delve into the main plot that has been brewing since LBD first appeared. Macaque, my main focus here, is also more present in the continuity of the season than in the previous ones. He appears more frequently and I think what is important is that each of his appearances gives us a new layer for his character.

S3 ep1

Macaque appears in the middle of the episode to attack the team while they're fleeing on the airship. He's actually the first person to attack them after the whole LBD fiasco and it's probably why the team, at first, thinks it's LBD that is attacking them. The colors are also very bluish and turn from dawn-like yellow colors to cold-night blue very quickly the second Macaque starts to attack. I think the predominance of the blue at the start of the attack can be a reminder of LBD and her overwhelming presence on both the team and Macaque himself.

The colors change to purple (Macaque's own colors) when Macaque leaves his airship and jumps on the team's airship. Perhaps because Macaque feels more in control at this very moment.

I think what is important in this scene is the banter between Wukong and Macaque which reveals exactly what makes the two monkeys tick and where they stand exactly. We know the two monkeys know how to hurt the other, so we have to see everything they say as a form of personal spite tailored to annoy the other. It's also very interesting how Macaque reacts and how he tries to be in control of the situation.

Also it's just funny how the whole team think LBD is attacking and then they hear :

Macaque : OOOOOH WUKONG!

And they're like : Oh nvm it's Macaque.

The first exchange goes like this :

Wukong : Oh that's a relief, I thought it was someone important.

Macaque : ah, always the comedian, huh. Hey, kiddo, you miss me?

We know Macaque struggles a lot with self-worth and abandonment, especially after analyzing the shadow play. Macaque felt like he was cast away by Wukong, left in the shadows. Wukong knows it, perhaps that's why his immediate answer to hurt Macaque (while still adopting a very laid-back attitude, Wukong tends to use jokes to diffuse and control the situation) is to joke about how Macaque is unimportant.

In response, Macaque calls Wukong a “comedian”, which I think is an insult of Wukong's jokester attitude and how he never takes anything seriously. It's highly probable that Macaque knows Wukong's coping mechanism considering they were very close in their youth, so the fact he still calls out Wukong on his not-so-healthy way of handling any stressful situations might be even more hurtful for Wukong. But Macaque changes the subject afterwards to MK. Perhaps because he doesn't want Wukong to elaborate on Macaque being unimportant or simply because he's focusing on the two targets set by LBD.

The second exchange :

Macaque : ooooh, looking a lil bit banged there Monkey King. The kid too. Looks like our old friend the Lady Bone Demon really did a number on you guys.

Wukong : So what, you're her puppet now? I mean, makes sense you did always have a sidekick kinda vibe.

Again, Macaque uses Wukong's title as some form of insult, the fact he's insisting on the title specifically while also calling out Wukong's injuries might just be a way to hurt Wukong pride as the Monkey King and rile him up. Qualifying LBD as “our old friend” is also very sarcastic. In a way he's calling out how LBD is Wukong's old enemy and so, in a sense, trying to hurt Wukong by guilting him.

In response, Wukong keeps tapping into Macaque's insecurity of being a “shadow” but this time he goes as far as to call him a “puppet” and even a “sidekick”. Macaque is visibly upset by this, he leaps out of his airship and crashes into Wukong to shut him up. But the second he had Wukong pinned on the airship he smiles again, as if trying to regain control of the situation, and resume the banter.

Macaque : eh, You know me. There is a new player in town just feeling out which one is the winning side.

This line will be very important in the later episodes of s3. While it might not seem like much right now, it's important to notice that Macaque doesn't include himself on LBD’s team. Instead he qualifies her as a “player” and justify his actions (him doing her bidding) by saying he's “feeling out the winning side”. This means Macaque hadn't decided which is the winning side yet and this is an important factor to take note of to understand what happens in the later episodes of the season.

Of course, Macaque strategy after jumping on the airship is to separate both MK and Wukong and put some distance between them. But it's interesting to notice that instead of taking them both directly in his airship, he takes the time to address his mission and to belittle them. Of course, I do think this line serves as exposition for the audience as for why Macaque is attacking the team, but I do think it's also a way for Macaque to assert his dominance and try to be in control.

Macaque : the two of you are such a mess, can't imagine why the LBD wants me to bring you back. Look at you, you're all used up.

In the previous seasons Macaque was rarely frowning, he did at some points but, at least when he was fighting, he always put on a fanged smile. But in the beginning of this season Macaque slips up a lot more, his face switches between frowns and smiles. It can be an indicator about how the stress he's put under by LBD is affecting him and makes him more nervous, making his mask of nonchalance crack a lot more. Someone did point out in the comment of my last study that Macaque in general smile to be more threatening and I wholeheartedly agree with this. Macaque “smile” is a way for him to mask how he truly feels and appear more intimidating. We can link this to monkey's behavior (macaques’ in particular) who hiss/smile each time they feel threatened to intimidate their opponents.

If we take this into account, him trying to belittle MK and Wukong and put them down might be a form of reassurance for him, it would explain why he's stalling here instead of directly bringing them to his airship and be done with it.

The last bit of the scene is also very interesting because it really shows Macaque's habit of using quips and belittlement as a way to be in control of the situation and to hide his discomfort.

When Mei attacks Macaque we can clearly see his nervousness despite his smile because of the sweat on his face :

And what does he do after this attack? Immediate sarcastic insults :

Macaque : ah you must be the dragon girl I hear so little about. Lil girl you can shoot me all you want it won't do you any good.

Macaque sarcastic quips and comments are a response to any threats around him. This will be shown many times in this particular season and I think it's very important to notice it. Because he will stop being so sarcastic and smiling so much in later seasons.

S3 ep2

Macaque's appearance in the second episode of the season is very brief and he only attacks Ao Guang. His only purpose here is to be the threat the team had to flee from, he doesn't show much. I was kinda surprised to see him use his shadow staff, one of the rare occasions he does, and I might think it's because he sees Ao Guang as a real threat.

Of course this apparition is meant to establish Macaque as a recurrent villain. He was not defeated after ep1. It put an expectation in the viewer mind that Macaque will reappear a lot afterward and he's not just a one episode villain.

[This is an apparté but Macaque doens't attack Ao Guang because he feel like it. I've seen this misconception of this scene a number of times and I would like to clarify that Macaque is under LBD order here. LBD issued her order before s3 ep1 and gave Macaque the compass to track down MK and Wukong. Here, Macaque objective is to bring back MK and Wukong to LBD. Ao Guang knows Macaque is on the enemy side, and MK and Wukong are leaving. So of course Macaque is not going to pretend and try to befriend Ao Guang. He has to act fast to catch the escaping team. He doesn't have the time to be buddy-buddy with Ao Guang. My guys, Macaque doesn't attack random city in his free time bc he feels like it 😅. Also, I think people greatly exagerate the scene, blowing it out of proportions. Macaque is attacking Ao Guang specifically, he's not doing a full blown genocide inside of the city. Come on, respectfully but also with a grain of salt, did we watch the same show? Or did a more bloody version of LMK exists somewhere and I wasn't aware of it?]

What I think is an interesting detail and something we see a lot in this particular season is the way Macaque's eyes gleams :

He never truly did this in the previous seasons while it happens a lot in this particular one. The only difference between Macaque this season and the previous seasons is the stress he's put under because of LBD. Makes you wonder if Macaque mental stability influences his powers (either it emphasizes them or takes a hold over him). It could also be simply a way for Macaque to appear more threatening and hide the pressures he's putting under.

In any case, LMK doesn't really have a defined magic system so the intricacies of how spells and magic work are a bit lost on us. Macaque's powers however are the most mysterious out of all the cast's because it does not stem from JTTW. I'll come back to that in season 5 because a bit more is revealed about Macaque's powers in it.

S3 ep4

In this episode Macaque appears two times, once at the very beginning and another just after the first half. The episode immediately focuses on Macaque, with the first minutes being of him alone in the desert with the wreckage of his airship, so we can easily assume this takes place right after he was ejected from the team's airship in the first episode of the season.

We can also already tell this episode will focus a lot on Macaque based on the title, “winning side”, which is a call back to Macaque words in episode 1. So we know this episode will be pivotal in our view of Macaque in this season.

It's actually the first time that we see Macaque when he's alone and with no one watching him, all his previous appearances were of him interacting with different people or simply fighting those people. And the first thing we notice in those few minutes of Macaque being alone and how he acts when alone is that he's not smiling, quite the contrary in fact he looks weary and very angry. When he looks at his reflection in the compass (which we don't even know what is yet at this point) it's the angriest expression we ever saw on his face, with his eyebrows twitching and his screams echoing in the background as he's reminded of a memory.

These brief minutes really prove everything we already established at the beginning of this study : Macaque nonchalant, almost sadistic attitude at times, is a show he puts on to appear more intimidating. Same can be said with his fanged smile. It's a way for him to regain control of stressful situations. Proof is, none of them appear when he's alone and thus not feeling threatened.

Sorry to disappoint but if you thought Macaque was a sadist who enjoyed hurting people, you were fooled by his act.

So just after this scene we dive into a memory of Macaque. Presumably the memory takes place just after LBD took over the city and the team escaped on their airship. Since Macaque appears on top of LBD's mech, which was created in season 2 ep 10, and the staff is within her grasp, I think it's a fair assumption.

Macaque's immediate reaction is to : first try to attack the not-mayor (the one who pushed him at LBD's feet via a portal, but the portal closes) then to notice the staff and immediately put on his usual smile :

Macaque : the staff, the city… You've been busy.

The fact the not-mayor had to bring Macaque already tells you Macaque is not very loyal to LBD to begin with, which is the continuation of what we saw in season 2 ep7 where the not-mayor strangled Macaque, a physical act of violence who tells you everything about the relationship beforehand.

The confrontation that follows between LBD and Macaque is the confirmation of all the assumptions we gathered. We even have a neat lil exposition about where Macaque stands in all this when LBD reminds him of his story and why he should be loyal to her.

It's interesting to see that Macaque tries his usual method of controlling the situation (quips, nonchalant attitude, fanged smiles) the way he does with MK and Wukong, but contrary to them LBD is not falling for it and doesn't let him take one breather.

LBD is also floating above him, which is already a physical representation of their relationship, they're not equals.

LBD : Tell me, what madness overcomes you that you would forsake your oath? When did you decide to betray me?

Macaque (trying to be nonchalant) : Listen Lady Bone De-

LBD : Have you forgotten who I am? What I am? I, who returned you to the mortal plane all in exchange for such a little favor that when the time came you would free me, aid in my pursuit, but no, with the first breath of a new life you rebelled against your claims.

The second Macaque tried to hide behind his mask of nonchalance LBD cuts him and reminds him of : 1 a very traumatic experience for him, 2 what she's capable of, 3 the fact he betrayed her and thus she has the right (in her mind) to punish him. I think the sentence “What I am” is probably the most threatening thing she could have said at this moment because it paints her in a very dehumanizing, almost monstrous, way, the use of “what” generally reserved for objects or creatures in this specific context. She doesn't even let him speak nor let him diffuse the situation, she cuts right to the facts to make Macaque uncomfortable, to make him submit to her. It's interesting to see how LBD talks and shifts the blame entirely on Macaque without any speck of empathy for his situation at the time. She uses the adjective “little” to qualify her favor as if to say what she demanded of Macaque wasn't much to begin with and that it was the least he could do after what she did for him. And then she uses the phrasing “rebelling against your claims” to put the blame entirely on Macaque, and how he's disloyal (even if I don't think their deal was fair to begin with. Macaque was in hell, dead, we don't know his mental state when LBD approached him but I warrant it wasn't good and he could have agreed to anything at this point). LBD makes herself the savior and victim in this scenario, the imagery when she evokes how she returned Macaque to the mortal plane paints her as a savior, she basks in white and floats above him while he kneels before her, his chains fading away, I think it's very telling of how she view her relationship with Macaque.

Macaque : You want something?

LBD : I have one more chance for redemption. Bring me the Monkey King and his protégée and perhaps you will be worthy of my mercy.

Macaque : Convenient, alrighty then, seems like they've got a bit of headway so-

The use of “redemption” in LBD speech is once again a way to justify her actions and puts the blame on Macaque, she also paints herself as merciful by letting him go. I think it's very ironic to talk about redemption at this moment with Macaque considering what will happen after and what Macaque true redemption will be like. For LBD, Macaque's redemption is for him to obey her orders and not fail, whereas for MK, Macaque's redemption is to give him the choice by reaching out to him and giving his hand. “Being worthy of mercy” is also such a weird phrasing, normally speaking mercy is something you grant to people you have the power to harm, it's a form of leniency, there is no concept of “worthiness” in it. What LBD offers is not mercy, really.

And then the moments Macaque tried to put on his mask of nonchalance again with the use of funny terms like “alrighty” LBD cut him, again, chains him and threatens him :

Macaque : What is this!?

LBD : a reminder. It seems you cannot be trusted to willingly follow the path of destiny. But know this, if you betray me again, one misstep, one mistake, and I'll erase the very memory of you. Now bring them to me, my champion.

The threat at this point is even more menacing than a simple death threat, especially for Macaque which had already been “forgotten”once by Wukong and, likely, is afraid of being again. LBD ends her speech with a mark of ownership on Macaque with the phrasing “my champion” which really tells you everything about how she treats Macaque, he's an object to her, a possession.

It's, I think, very ironical that in LBD first speech she paints herself as the savior that wiped away Macaque's chains (the image is literally of her breaking those chains) BUT she still puts different chains on Macaque, she didn't free him at all, she broke his chains to recreate them afterwards. And we can see that Macaque is not at all fooled by her hypocritical view of herself and that's perhaps why he casted away the skeleton key when LBD gave it to him.

There is an impossibility of speech between LBD and Macaque, she doesn't let him speak and keeps cutting him over and over again. It's very interesting to notice it because it is a perfect reflection of how LBD controls Macaque : she controls him through violence. Cutting someone so hard each time they try to speak is, in a sense, a form of verbal violence. And LBD is constantly trying to dominate Macaque through violence : When the not-mayor comes to Macaque in season 2 he strangles him, here LBD cuts him everytime he tries to speak, he's put in chains at the end of the scene and the not-mayor pushes his head on the ground while LBD floats above. She forces his loyalty through fear and violence, and that's why it'll never be genuine.

Their relationship is defined by violence. LBD does not view herself as Macaque boss, she view herself as his master. If you want to understand Macaque as a character, you have to talk about this violence. Because, while yes, Macaque will be violent in this season, the most he ever was, and we DO NOT brush his actions aside and coddle him (he's older than all of us I think he doens't need coddling), we have to understand why he's doing it. Now, if the reason why he's doing all this doesn't sway you, and you still think he's irredeemable, then I guess that's your opinion and we have very different views. But, in my case, I think context matters. Because the context tells us about Macaque's character. If you take this violence out when you try to talk about Macaque and specifically what he did in season 3 (I'm not talking about the other seasons) then you're leaving key elements out of your analysis, thus painting Macaque in a wrong sadistic light. Leaving the matter of redemption aside, to understand what drive Macaque this season and the reason behind his actions, we need to take his relationship with LBD seriously, it's the core of everything in S3. You can't talk about Macaque in S3 without talking about LBD. So is Macaque just a sadist who likes to hurt people, or is he trying to survive?

After this scene Macaque reappears in the other half of the episode. He creates a copy of the van to isolate one half of the team and thus have more chances of success in capturing MK. One thing which I think is a cool detail is that Macaque modus operandi is always about tricking and putting on a performance, a show. In season 1, Macaque staged the whole attack on the city with his shadow monster. In season 2, he makes himself appear as a human storyteller and here he's staging yet another performance by tricking half of the team with a perfect copy of their own van.

It shows how Macaque is a highly cautious individual who rarely if ever rush into situations, especially into fights. Maybe that's one of the reasons why he's feeling even more pressured by LBD, he's on a time race because of her and thus has less and less time to put on performances.

Another detail which I think is important to notice is MK's frustration just before the “copied van” scene. MK tries hard to get his powers back but nothing seems to work and he's frustrated about it. He even qualified the only power he got back, gold vision, as a “baby power”. Macaque, once he appears, will directly challenge MK about this struggle.

Of course, the first thing that Macaque does is to seperates Mei and Sandy from MK, once again Macaque is cautious enough to not fight the three of them at the same time if he has the choice to not to. It's also incredibly funny that he imitates Mo's moews to lure Sandy away, it does show he has been observing the team very closely to know their behaviors. For Sandy Macaque's uses Mo, but for Mei he knows she'll never leave MK's side so he uses a more direct approach by separating her physically without even trying to lure her like he did with Sandy.

Once MK is alone Macaque traps him and ties him up with his shadows. I think the dialogue here is very important, especially between MK and Macaque because it does reveal a lot about Macaque himself and where he stands now.

Macaque : You really think you're gonna get away from me, bud? Aw, forget you lost your powers? Careful, you might hurt yourself!

On top of appearing particularly threatening he dug right into MK's insecurities that were exposed the scene before which is his lack of powers. It does make you wonder if he listened to MK raging about the loss of his power. In any case, he's clearly trying to provoke MK here.

MK : What do you-

Macaque : want? What are you doing? Come on kiddo, do I have to explain everything? I'm handing you over, to the lady Bone Demon.

Once again, Macaque is taunting and mocking MK, going as far as to have one of his shadows take MK appearances and imitate his voice with a very ridiculous high-pitch. Contrary to Wukong, MK doesn't answer any jabs with one of his own and remains level headed. Macaque in this episode is really laying on thick with the mocking and the taunting. While he was like that in previous episodes, it was more directed at Wukong specifically, but even then Macaque jabs were more subtle. Here, he's purposefully riling up MK as much as he can.

Macaque : Come on! Fight back. Maybe I'm not giving you the right motivation. Should I bring your big blue friend in here and smack him around? What about the girl? Gold vision? Really? Enough of these baby powers.

MK : stop talking!

Macaque : That's more like it!

In this sequence Macaque is at his zenith in terms of threatening. His eyes glows violet, he's smiling as he fight, appearing almost like a sadist. It creates very daunting shots. He also directly makes threats to MK about the one thing Macaque knows MK values more than himself : his friends. We also have the confirmation that Macaque had indeed been listening to MK at the beginning of the episode because he uses the exact same phrasing MK used to describe gold vision which is “baby powers”. But this doesn't make sense. Macaque's goal here is to bring back MK to LBD so why is he trying so hard to rile up MK and make him fight back? Why is he making himself so threatening compared to his other appearances? While it's true that Macaque had always been one to rile up people, especially Wukong, we already established most of his sarcastic quips are a response to any perceived threats around him and a way for him to regain control of the situation. But here Macaque is already in control, he doesn't have to use those quips and insults. Moreover, we established that Macaque is a highly cautious individual by analyzing his modus operandi when it came to fighting, so why is he taking the risk to anger MK?

Macaque clearly has a hidden agenda here.

I also think it's really cool how there is a parallel between MK and Wukong with this shot :

Yet MK is so different from Wukong in the way he responds to Macaque taunts, he never insults back.

MK : Why are you helping her? LBD? Look I get you're a bad guy but you know she wants to destroy everything, right?

Macaque : yeah see I had a taste of dying and you know what not a big fan so I'm choosing to be on the winning side.

MK : She's using you. We have a plan, you could help, we could stop her together.

Macaque : You can't even stop me. Now first I deliver you, then I come back for your hazbin master and finally I'll repay my debt and be free of this nightmare. Anyway I assume you won't’ be coming quietly sooo-

Okay, a lot to unpack here.

First, MK, while still acknowledging that Macaque is a villain, tries to reason with him. And while it's in character for MK to do that, I do also think MK does it because he knows Macaque can be reasoned with and that he's a more confusing individual than a mere one-dimensional villain (as he learned in season 2).

Second, the fact Macaque talks about his death to justify him “being on the winning side” is a clear indication of the drive that pushes Macaque this season : survival. It's not about powers, it's not about tormenting, Macaque this season is about survival. It was established in the scene with LBD and it's confirmed here by Macaque himself through his words. It's important for the audience to know this because it changes everything about how we perceive Macaque from now on in this season. Macaque wants to live, especially after knowing what death feels like, which means that on top of not following LBD willingly, he's also running along to assure his survival. The use of “being free of this nightmare” really drives the point about how Macaque views the situation he's in. It's a nightmare, he doesn't enjoy it one bit which we cannot really fault him for after what we saw at the beginning of the episode and how LBD treats him. It's important for the redemption processus, while it's true you cannot erase your actions, the motives behind the actions are still very important, it's not for nothing that extenuating circumstances exist in court.

Third, Macaque responding to MK by saying “You can't even stop me” is a great indicator about how Macaque currently feels. Right now, with MK powers being gone, LBD is unfortunately the “winning side” for Macaque.

Macaque : What a hero ! Two friends about to be crushed and you do nothing?

MK : Let them go, you can take me I don't care. Just let them go.

Macaque : Or what? You aren't the monkie kid anymore. Your powers are gone, your staff are gone, you're nothing.

MK : No, I'm the monkie kid.

Macaque : What was that now? I couldn't quite hear you!

This exchange right now really is the last push you need to understand Macaque's agenda better. In this moment Macaque could have everything he wanted, MK was literally serving himself on a silver plate yet Macaque still refused and instead kept taunting him with the one thing he knows MK will get angry about (as he learned in season 2) : his friends. Furthermore, the “I couldn't quite hear you!” is clearly a lie for someone called the Six-eared Macaque, we also learn later in the same season that Macaque has sensitive hearing, clearly Macaque could hear MK perfectly.

Macaque : he still has powers. Good. Things got a lot more interesting.

And that's Macaque's hidden agenda. He wants MK to have his powers, he wants the scale between LBD and MK to be more balanced. Because Macaque's agenda all along was choosing the “winning side”, Macaque goal for this season is survival. Since the beginning of the season, in episode 1, Macaque was already talking about the winning side, moreover the very title of this episode is “winning side”. Macaque is playing a two-faced game here. What I think might confuse the audience in this episode is the dichotomy between imagery and dialogue. Macaque is extra threatening here, every shot of him is taken out of a horror movie, he looks like a full-blown sadist and even goes as far as to hurt MK's friends physically. So when you see a Macaque being this menacing you do think he's in full-blown villain mode. Yet when you take a closer look at his actions and at his words you realize that he's playing a far more subtle game in this war. And after seeing how he's treated by LBD you understand why he's playing this two-faced game. LBD is not a stable ally. Her sense of justice is skewed by her perspective and even her definition of mercy is wrong. She thinks she's in the right and that makes her dangerous, because that makes her impossible to be reasoned with. Macaque knows this, he saw it first hand, so he needs to widen his options without expressly angering LBD.

Also, with the first scene of the episode, I think it's fair to assume that Macaque is pushed by a sense of desperation. He doesn't have the time to sugarcoat what he's doing, he needs MK to step up and regain his powers, and if for this he has to go an extra mile he will.

Because he wants to survive this.

Also, MK going for Macaque blinded eye to defeat him was a nice detail, especially since we can heavily speculate that Wukong was the one responsible for this injury. Everytime MK fights with Macaque, the way MK's moves and throws his punches is very reminiscent of Wukong, which is very natural considering MK is Wukong's mentee, so of course he'll pick up Wukong's habits when it comes to fighting . Yet you know MK is different, especially in this episode where instead of responding to Macaque's insults the way Wukong did in the first episode, he instead tries to reach out to him. MK could have been salty about what happened in season 1 (we know the betrayal hurts greatly based on what he says in season 4, about how everyone betrays him and he feels like a fool) yet unlike Wukong he doesn't respond to the quips.

This episode is really important in the redemption processus, it shows that Macaque agenda is different from LBD's and as such he's not really on her side, the only side Macaque is on is the “winning side”. It also shows the very unbalanced, almost slave/master relationship that LBD and Macaque has which will greatly help to understand Macaque's decision at the end of the season.

Macaque this season is running a survival game and he's trying to get all the chances on his side.

S3 ep8

Macaque doesn't reappear after this until the end of the season. The middle of the season is more focused on the samadhi fire and the different rings. Story-wise, it's necessary to involve Macaque with the rings one way or another for the progression of the plot, if the team managed to get all the rings without any difficulty on Macaque's parts it would have been quite odd. If we take into account the locations of the other two rings (DBK forteresse and the moon) which were two very difficult locations for Macaque to even enter, having him appear at Lantern City was really inevitable.

So Macaque first appears when the team are discussing the rings and what to do about the talent show. This serve as an exposition for Macaque to learn about the samadhi fire and the team's plan but it also highlights a few interesting thing :

Macaque is really tailing the team. In this particular scene he's hiding in the ceiling and eavesdropps on them and it's not the first time he does this (we established he eavesdropped on MK when he repeated MK exact phrasing “baby power” in ep4). On one hand it shows his cautiousness, but on another hand it means Macaque doesn't attack the team at every chance he gets. He could have attacked when Wukong was still meditating or when the team was sleeping, yet he never did. Once again because his goals does not align fully with LBD.

Macaque : the samadhi fire, huh. So that's how you're gonna beat the Lady Bone Demon.

Just after this line Macaque hears LBD threats echoing in his ears : “one misstep, one failure and I'll erase the very memory of you.” and mumbles “We'll see about that” with a very threatening shot. I'll like to point out that this shot is the very similar to the one used in ep 2 when Macaque is attacking Ao Guang :

So clearly it's a face that means he's going to take action. The fact he says “we'll see about that” just after being reminded of LBD threats is a way to indicate he's challenging LBD right now. He knows LBD can be destroyed by the samadhi fire and that gives him an outlet, a hope he didn't have before.

So, yes, right now Macaque decides to betray LBD. For the rest of the episode he will act for his own agenda and not on LBD's orders. Which is I think very important to point out, because if Macaque already betrays LBD this early on in the shows it means that, if given the chance, he would be willing to go against her.

He's willing to go against her.

So Macaque follows Tang until they arrive inside of the giant lantern where the ring resides.

And once again Macaque will first try to belittle Tang to assert his dominance but also perhaps to make him agree with his viewpoint and makes this easier for him :

Macaque : have more guts than I thought. It's… Tang, right? You know it's funny, I thought you're smart, I mean look at the guy he got glasses. If anyone knows where the legendary samadhi fire is, it's the guy sitting in the wing while his friends are busy having fun without him.

So first Macaque tries to adopt a more friendly approach. He's not following LBD's orders right now and he doesn't necessarily want to fight with Tang either. He tries to appear friendly by first praising Tang about his guts (which I think is very well-though considering Tang could be seen as the more cowardly of the bunch, thus by acknowledging his “guts” Macaque gives Tang a sense of validation he doesn't often hear). Then he validates and acknowledges him by saying his name and after this he praises another trait of Tang which is his intelligence. Macaque insists on the legendary nature of the samadhi fire to give a sense of pride to Tang (as if the samadhi fire was an incredibly difficult artifact to find) and he ends his lil speech by trying to create a wedge between Tang and the team.

When he sees that his speech didn't have any effect on Tang and, on the contrary, Tang pushes Macaque away, Macaque immediately adopts a more drastic method by kicking Tang away from the ring.

I think it's telling how Macaque approaches situations such as those. His first and foremost method is always tricking. It's not violence but manipulation, trying to make the other agree to his views and resolve the situation efficiently without having to fight, because fighting can be way more unpredictable than manipulation.

After Macaque kicks Tang away, we got this exchange :

Tang : Stop, the samadhi fire is humanity's last chance.

Macaque : Well humanity is gonna have to find something else. The samadhi fire is my best chance to get as far away from her as possible.

Tang : Surely even you can see that unless we stand together..

Macaque : together? Remind me again exactly what it is you contribute to the team? They seem to get along just fine without you. Don't take it personally Tang, you're buddy Wukong values people by how useful they are to him. Take it from me as an expert in what happens when you get too close to the King. Look out for number one, cause if you don't, no one will.

Here, Macaque is not even hiding what he's trying to do anymore. Like I said beforehand his goal in this season is his own survival. He doesn't even want to use the samadhi fire to fight LBD but to escape her. Which I think speaks volumes of Macaque's character, despite hating LBD he doesn't think of hurting her, he's thinking of escaping her, because escaping is less dangerous than fighting and Macaque is a very cautious individual when it comes to those matters.

With that being said, I think Macaque's behavior concerning Wukong spoke volumes of how much Wukong really means to Macaque. The only time Macaque is not as cautious as usual is when he's faced with something related to Wukong. In season 1, he goes above and beyond to angers Wukong and fights with him, going as far as using his mentee. For an individual as cautious as Macaque, angering someone like Wukong, the Great Sage Equal to Heaven, is not very in character. Except that Macaque cautiousness goes out of the window when it concerns Wukong, his logical side is being flooded by his own feelings and he loses sight of anything else. In season 2, MK showcasing the same behavior as Wukong is enough for Macaque to take a very impulsive decision and improvise his whole lesson.

Macaque is logical in everything he does, cautious with every plan, every attack, except when it concerns Wukong. Because in this case, his feelings take over.

Macaque's last line : “together? Remind me again exactly what it is you contribute to the team? They seem to get along just fine without you. Don't take it personally Tang, your buddy Wukong values people by how useful they are to him. Take it from me as an expert in what happens when you get too close to the King. Look out for number one, cause if you don't, no one will.” is very telling about his feelings. First, reminding Tang of his place in the team (or lack thereof) can be seen as him unconsciously relating to Tang, or at least relating to the image of Tang he got in this episode. Tang is benched, “benched” being the title of the episode, and that can remind Macaque of how Wukong also “benched” him in their youth. Then, because of course he did, Macaque keeps going back to Wukong even if Wukong didn't have anything to do with Tang being benched in this episode, it's MK who benched Tang. So not only does it tell that Macaque is not really talking about Tang at this moment but himself, it also shows that at least 70% of Macaque's brain is plagued by thoughts of Wukong (and again 70 is a generous number). Macaque is obviously feeling salty about what happened with Wukong. But beyond that he seems to have a very skewed image of Wukong he created after what happened between them.

We can say that this scene is one of the rare moments of Macaque being genuine, he doesn't smile nor try to be sarcastic, he's genuinely speaking how he feels. He paints Wukong as this cruel person that puts value on people and doesn't care about companionship. He takes his experience with Wukong and tries to justify Wukong’s behavior by saying that Wukong never cared about him. The use of “King” is at the same time meant as an insult but also paints Wukong as this power-driven person who only cared about his position. Macaque constructs an image of Wukong based on everything he lived through and fuels his own hatred with this fake image. Macaque knows Wukong is not like that, he lived with the guy, he knows him, yet he tries to lie to himself, to justify his own hurting and shift the blame entirely on Wukong.

Of course, Tang doesn't agree with this and goes on about the importance of friendship. I think it's a nice detail that Tang defeats Macaque with the help of Pigsy’s singing because it truly does illustrate Tang's speech about standing together with his friends, and winning together.

Moreover, the fact that Macaque was affected by Pigsy's singing is a great callback to his JTTW counterpart. The Six-eared Macaque is canonically described in JTTW as a being with a “sensitive ear”. Having Macaque share the same sensitivity is a nice character trait.

So after this, Tang manages to get a grip on the ring and flee while Macaque is electrocuted by the lantern lighting.

And then, LBD arrives.

Immediately, all lights within the city goes out and everything is plunged in an eerie dark blue.

She knows how to make her entrance.

What is interesting is that contrary to the other interaction between Macaque and LBD, this time Macaque is not even trying to appear intimidating or control the situation. There are no quips, no smiles, no attempts of diffusing the situation, because based on their last interactions he knows it's useless. Macaque is scared and he knows his attempts at being intimidating leads to nothing, so when she chains him, ready to quite literally erase his existence, the only thing he can do is reveal the existence of the samadhi fire.

The situation is even more terrifying because LBD is not even in the frame when she chains Macaque, she gives the illusion of being everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

Then LBD gives a fraction of her power to Macaque (which literally makes him scream in pain) and we are left with this last daunting shot (image 2), with Macaque mask passing purple to blue. I like to think that the last shot is a parallel to the third image, where Macaque decided to betray LBD and work for his own goal. The fact that we get more or less the same close up with Macaque’s mask really emphasizes on how Macaque now doesn't have any choices anymore.

The third image is Macaque being determined to follow his own agenda and betray LBD, and the second image is Macaque being caught up by LBD with no choices anymore.

He's at the end of this two-faced game he has tried to play since the beginning.

S3 ep9

First with the title of the episode being the “King, the prince, the shadow” you know it's going to be about Wukong, MK and Macaque.

After the end of the previous episode Macaque is desperate and it shows. For the first time, he doesn't answer Wukong quips even when they're still tailored to pick at his insecurities.

Wukong : So you got bone demon powers now, huh ? Well it is on brand for you to have a worst version of everyone else’s powers.

This quip is made to pick at the same insecurity :Macaque feeling like he's just a shadow, that he's just following Wukong's leads and that he will never be enough. But Macaque doesn't answer, he doesn't even look at Wukong. Instead he takes the rings from Nezha and turns around. Wukong tries again to rile him up but it doesn't work. The fact that Macaque who until now always took the time to answer Wukong's quips doesn't even take the time here speaks volumes of his desperation.

Then Macaque easily sees through Wukong trick and destroys the rings, who turn out to be just hair. The fact Nezha wasn't able to tell the difference and rushed after Wukong but Macaque recognized Wukong's trick at first glance testify how much Macaque knows Wukong and how his mind works.

Macaque : I couldn't care less about what the Lady Bone Demon wants.

This line is important, because after the end of the previous episode you'll think that Macaque will never rebel against LBD, yet again he's not following her orders, he's still on the mindset of taking the samadhi fire and freeing himself from LBD hold. But now more than ever he's out of time, he's driven by despair.

And then we get this shot as Macaque slowly walks towards the mountain (after realizing the rings are with MK) :

I love this shot because despite Wukong being the one physically trapped in the ice, Macaque is also shown to be trapped in it. His reflection is like enclosed in the ice, showing how even if he's free of movements, in reality he's also trapped by the ice, by LBD, enchained by her.

Macaque's next actions are all driven by despair, he's violent, decisive, he wants the samadhi fire and will not take no as an answer. Yet still he tries to talk, still he tries to convince the others. This shows he doesn't like to hurt people, he doesn't want to hurt them, but he doesn't have the luxury to sugarcoat what he's doing. He needs the fire.

Here are some example of Macaque trying to avoid confrontations :

Macaque : Don't get in my way, kid. I don't have time for you. I'm just here for the samadhi fire then I'm done with you all.

And then when MK does get in his way he grabs him and tries to make him understand how much Wukong doesn't have a plan, how much of a mistake it is to trust him.

Macaque : This was the Monkey King's great plan? How do you still not see that he has no idea what he's doing. How about this for a plan? Stay down MK or I will put you down.

The scene is violent, and Macaque is probably upset that those people trust Wukong so much and are willing to follow his lead without questions (perhaps he sees himself in them, how much he followed Wukong without never denying him anything, how he never questioned his lead).

[This is an apparté but people always put a lot of pressure on Wukong for being the one to fix things, for being the one to lead. And I don't think it's fair.]

After this Macaque catches Mei by the throat and poses an ultimatum to Tang (who is the only one able to move and activate the fire) : give the samadhi fire or Macaque will hurt his friends. Macaque knows Tang values his friends a lot after the previous episode and that's probably why he goes with this particular method.

S3 ep10

So the samadhi fire is freed and Macaque finally achieves his goal. We can see how the ice that was slowly crawling over Macaque arms and consuming more and more of him (a symbol of how much LBD was slowly possessing Macaque) is burnt away along with blue chains, the symbols of LBD hold on Macaque.

Macaque is free!

And Macaque first reaction when Wukong rushes towards him in anger is to flee, even if he hates Wukong, he doesn't want to fight right now, his goal is to flee far away from here. I like the detail that Macaque already prepares himself from Wukong's punch and turns his head the moment Wukong raises his fist. It could be an instinctual response to Wukong's fighting stance considering Macaque was at the receiving end of it quite a number of times.

Then, after Mei is consumed by the fire, we got a particularly meaningful exchange between MK and Macaque, while Wukong tries to protect MK from the fire by placing himself at the front.

Macaque : she's completely out of control. If there is a time to go it's now!

MK : No! Mei is my best friend, I'd never abandon her when she needs me.

The fact that the camera focuses on Wukong when MK says those words and that Wukong himself looks back at Macaque with what could only be described as a pained look (most likely of regret)... It's the first time in the whole series that Wukong shows Macaque something other than spite and annoyance, and in turns Macaque looks shocked and doesn't even know what to think of those words.

They both are thinking of what happened to them at this moment. Of how, somehow, they both failed each other and abandoned the other at their time of needs. And there is a lingering regret between them of what could have been, but also of what is right now. It's important to show us this as an audience, to understand the depth of their relationship and how, despite the apparent hatred, there is still something underneath.

MK : We're heroes, it's what we do.

That, I think, is the nail in the coffin. Macaque spends a whole episode in season 2 telling MK how much heroes leave their friends behind, how much heroes chose the world over their own loved ones, how light inevitably brings darkness and that it is impossible for heroes to save both the world and their friends. And MK, here, is proving Macaque wrong. He's redefining everything that Macaque believed about heroes, everything he thought was true because of his own experience with Wukong.

But Macaque still chose to flee at the end of this, and we really cannot blame him, because from the start his goal was surviving, it was to flee far away from this mess.

Yet he comes back later on in the specials and that's something. For the guy who said “Look out for number one, cause if you don't, no one will” to come back even after being freed, even after achieving his goals, that says something about Macaque as a person and how much he really cares.

So, this post is already quite long and I reached the Tumblr limits on how many images I can put in one post (and I do want to show you guys particular frames and shots in the specials) so I will do a separate post for the season 3 specials!

Thanks for reading this very long rant of mine really, like always you can disagree with me it's really all about interpretations.

S1 / Previous / Next

[lovelytsunoda]

stand by me // mick schumacher

summary: the past few seasons have been rough on mick, and sometimes all y/n could do was reassure him that she was there. because sometimes, standing by someone is the best that you can do.

pairing: mick schumacher x female reader

warnings: haas, guenther steiner. mentions of serious crashes. sad mickey, burning of old haas merch, angie makes an appearance

when the night has come, and the moon is the only light we see. i won't cry, no, no, no, i won't shed a tear. just as long as you tell me, say you're gonna stand by me.

it was one thing to watch your boyfriend hit a barrier at two hundred kilometres an hour.

it was a totally different thing for every mechanic in the garage to simply roll their eyes instead of expressing some iota of concern.

“what the fuck is wrong with these people.” y/n huffed, moving to push past the viewing desk, fully intent on fighting guenther in his own garage before louise pulled her back

“it’s not worth it.” the older woman reminded her as she tried to keep a clear head.

micks headset wasn’t working; it was like gary was talking to a wall. nobody knew if mick was okay, and the only reaction she could see from guenther was annoyance. even kevin had come over the comms to ask if mick was okay.

y/n took her headset off, stumbling over to gary as she tried to keep her emotions in check. getting upset wouldn’t be good for anybody, but that crash was bad. the car had essentially split in half, taking mick with it as the session was red flagged.

“gary, is he okay?” she asked shakily, reaching for something to hold on to. “gary, i need to know.”

“i can’t hear him talking, but I can hear movement. i think he’s trying to climb out, which is a good sign.”

she didn’t start breathing again until she knew he was out of the car, knew that her mickey was safe. when they brought him to the medical bay, louise helped her there on shaky legs, and she sat with mick while he called his mom, and then they both cried together.

but from that moment on, they knew his days with haas were numbered.

“gene called me a dead man walking.” his voice sounded so small. he had been transferred to a hospital and taken in for extra observation. his mother was flying in from switzerland, and the fluorescent lights were giving him a headache.

“gene haas better watch his fucking back.” y/n scowled. “what does he know about this goddamn sport? he’s a tax criminal!”

but that day changed things. even though he knew he had y/n in his corner, you could see the clouds in mick schumachers eyes, the little glimpses of his father coming through. he would t talk to her about it, insistent that he could somehow change gene’s mind.

next race weekend, she walked with sad eyes and a heavy heart towards the mercedes motorhome and the one man that she knew would never steer her wrong.

toto wolff had become something almost like a surrogate father for y/n once she had started hanging around the track more. the older man looked out for her when mick couldn’t. toto knew she had never felt at ease in the haas garage, that there was something about the atmosphere in guenther steiners garage that made her uncomfortable.

“hey, toto.” she sighed, sinking into the austrians arms as he opened the office door.

“hey, kiddo. how’s mick doing?”

she frowned, following toto into his office. “he won’t talk about it. he still thinks there’s something he can do, and he shuts me down every time I suggest he start talking another team. I think guenther is stringing him along.”

it hurt that mick was emotionally firewalling her. yes, they still talked, but never about his career. he always shut her down with that sad look of his, or a suggestively placed kiss, attempting to distract her from the topic with the thought of something else.

she was dead worried about him.

“the air is thinner where gunther is from. it’s impairing his ability to think properly.”

she snorted. “toto, I’m worried sick about mick, he needs to talk to someone. you knew his dad. so did bonno. maybe talking to someone who knew micheal will help. I don’t know, but I can’t let this keep going on.”

“I’ll give him a call. you’re doing the best you can, y/n. please don’t beat yourself up over doing or not doing enough. it’s going to take time for mick to feel like himself again.”

“I know. I just wish that there was more I could do.”

later that week, she and mick flew to texas to visit his sister and her boyfriend ian at the family ranch. the moon was high, refracting off the water and illuminating the evergreens. mick and ian sat outside by the fire pit, angie scampering around their feet. gina and y/n were inside the house, stuffing a cardboard bankers box full of old haas merch. it had become glaringly clear to both women that mick wasn't likely to have a seat the following season.

and mick wasn't taking it well. he was still processing it, but there had been times where she felt like the man she loved would cry himself to sleep. she had the suspicion that once she went to sleep, her lover began to cry, so that she would never see him in such pain.

gina and y/n came outside, two cardboard boxes in hand as they met the men by the fire pit. they had beer bottles in hand and sad smiles on their faces as y/n rejoined her boyfriend, sitting on his lap before gently kissing his cheek.

"don't think about it, mickey. you've talked to toto, right? and jost? you aren't completely out of options for next year." y/n frowned, running her thumb over mick's bare arm. "don't give up hope just yet."

mick kissed her softly, resting his cheek against her skin. "why did you put all of my old haas merch in a cardboard box?"

"because we're burning it." she said matter-of-factly, getting to her feet and grabbing a baseball cap from the top of the box. "it'll be cathartic."

she stood in front of the fire pit, listening to the wooden logs crackle and pop as she frisbee-threw the cap into the fire, watching the fabric catch fire. she flipped the bird at the burning object with both fingers, shouting insults at guenther steiner as she watched it burn.

“take that you old austrian bastard. I bet gunethers cock is like, minuscule and that’s why he has to call his boyfriend gene before he makes any decisions.”

mick laughed a little, pulling a polo shirt out of the box.

“I mean come in now, he calls gene more than he calls his wife.” gina added. “who fucking does that? if I was his wife I’d be asking for a divorce right about now.”

mick balled up the shirt in his hands, punting it into the fire as if it was a baseball. the fabric caught fire instantly, swallowed by the orange flames as they spread across the royal blue fabric, leaving blackened ash in its wake.

“you’re right.” mick exhales, putting an arm around his girlfriend . “that felt really good.”

lifting their beer bottles to the sky and turning up the stereo, all summer long by kid rock blasting loud enough that the speakers shook, the family sang along, throwing various haas-related memorabilia into the fire and watching it go up in a cloud of dark grey smoke.

“they made ugly-ass merch anyways.”

“uh, guys, is it supposed to smell this rancid?” ian asked, scrunching up his face at the smell of burning plastic and fabric.

“oh fuck.”

“we didn’t think this through! ian, come help me get some water to put this out with.”

ian and gina ran off to get water, angie barking after them as mick and y/n fanned at the fire, laughing crazily as they used their sweaters as fans, hoping to tamp down some of the blaze.

“hey, babe, I want to tell you something.” mick smiled. “I want you to be the first to know.”

giving up on fanning the fire, as the oxygen was making the situation worse, y/n paused, her wool sweater falling limp in her hands as she looked at her lover.

“toto wants me to sign as a reserve driver next year. he’s already lost nyck to alphatauri and I think stoffel is going to aston martin. if haas drop me, I still have options. I can still come back to the field somehow.”

“oh, mickey, that’s wonderful.” y/n gushed, throwing her sweater down on a deck chair before moving over to mick and wrapping her arms around him. “I’m so proud of you.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you.” mick reminded her, kissing her softly, cradling her body in his arms as they swayed back and forth to ‘hero’ by enrique iglesias, the song playing softly in the background as they kissed in the stinky firelight.

angie padded towards the couple, nuzzling into y/n’s leg as they stared lovingly into each others eyes.

“I love you, y/n.”

“I love you too, mickey.”

TAGS

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